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#cas doesnt even want it either but dean seems to want it so he lets it happen. and nobody is happy
quietwingsinthesky · 10 months
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it’s lisa and ben 2.0 but with cas and jack instead and worse this time because sam isn’t even dead, sam’s alive but dean keeps cutting him out of the picture to make his life with cas work (remembering how quickly he left lisa to go back to sam, knowing that the only way he can make himself choose anyone else over his brother is to push sam as far away as possible and hope that sam picks someone else first.) (which doesn’t work because again. sam broke up with eileen months ago and isn’t looking for anyone else.)
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sounknownvoid · 10 months
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S6 "family matters" - more evidence of villain!cas?
so you know how cas also raised SAM from 'perdition' - but off his own bat n solo n in the process left his soul behind ...?
What if..... it was on purpose?
I mean he didnt respond to sam for a whole year and just left him there helpless n confused n not even telling him what'd happened to him after sam "woke up in a field" n called out to him..
(N then sam somehow stumbles onto find bobby presumably - only its still soulless!bobby at that point n so he basically gets a cold reception there - n either adds to his confusion or he thinks that he should find somewhere hes wanted - his cold logical brain suggests " go find family" & even in soulless state, he decides he cant interrupt deans life so he hooks up with the campbells - coz family is everything as has been drummed into him by john n dean.... n y'know who didnt live upto that for sam despite having souls n being on side of heacen n all that - dean and cas!...but i digress...)
After being mostly awol most of the time, cas again hides it n doesnt tell dean whats wrong with his brother - even when he outright asks him.... n then the worst thing is he does that whole soul-fisting which is just most agonising thing to sam....
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wouldnt it have been the time to, i dont know, NOT Inflict more pain on sam, that he has ostensibly "rescued" from hell and therefore confess?....even if he couldnt somehow step in n stop dean just smashing soulless into a pulp just before....or was that what he was hoping would happen?
Was it the growing, unrequited feelings cas was developing that was leading him to act more manipulative n petty n scheming to get dean turning against his brother,his soulmate, sam? - cas knew the hatred dean has of "freaks n monsters" n heaven used that particular gambit to split the brothers up before in s4-5 ....did he DELIBERATELY leave sam soulless n let him flounder n go without any guidance n help hoping for exactly what happened - deans trust in sam being broken? ... aim being that cas could then "swoop in" ... ie manipulate dean into a situationship with him?...
Dunno about the motivations but cas definitely did NOT need to soul-fist sam n inflict that much agony on him if he ALREADY knew that sam didnt have a soul....which he did.
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in fact sam even outright asks him in the same episode after cas finally confesses that it was him that pulled him out of hell - " wait, did you bring me back souless....ON PURPOSE?!"...
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n i think the real reason cas broke sams wall 2xepisodes later is coz hed panicked and didnt want dean to find out that yes maybe he really had done that on purpose...
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Inflicting pain on sam seemed to be cas' repeated choice throughout s6-7 - n maybe that lends a bit more weight to that whole "cas as villain arc" thing...to me at least...
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sarah-dipitous · 10 months
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Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 316
Nihilism/Damaged Goods
Huzzah!! It only took uninstalling, reinstalling, and then restarting Netflix and then my whole tv to get picture back on but I did it!! So an spn double header
“Nihilism”
Plot Description: as Sam and Castiel try to free Dean from Michael’s control, it falls on Jack to protect the bunker from a monster horde outside
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: No one died. I’m guessing that this is happening in Dean’s mind as either a way to pacify him or convince him to be Michael’s vessel forever
Omg it took a second watch of the first five minutes to realize that Rocky’s Bar (the bar this Dean owns) is in the Rocky and Bullwinkle font…like moose and squirrel, like Crowley used to call them 😭 I miss Crowley
That was a really good distraction to get the angel cuffs on Michael
The reapers have SHIFTS to babysit the Winchesters now?? Amazing
Then how did they get back to the bunker?? If violet didn’t take them there
Ugh… the way Dean is living the same rainy day over and over in his mind. Please wake up from this groundhogs day
Jack’s faith in Dean is 🥺
MICHAEL. STOP LYING TO JACK.
Damn. Michael is even more blood thirsty than Lucifer
Sam’s so desperate for whatever cab save Dean
I’m not going to make comments about why Dean’s mind seems empty
It’s really just super dark because of the trauma
Oh good. Dean’s…….oh no. Michael’s adjusting Dean’s memory to fit what Sam and Cas are saying , but not faster than Sam can make him remember
TWO JENSENS??
Not only is Michael cruel, he’s annoying. He’s stalling til his monster army gets to the bunker
Oh damn!! Since they can’t actually kick Michael out, they shoved him in the cooler of the fake bar in Dean’s mind and now Dean is The Cage. Ngl. It was kinda hot to hear him say that for some reason
Me to Megumi 🤝 Cas to Jack: I’m not mad at you, I’m just trying to keep you safe, and you are making it SO. DIFFICULT.
Awwww it WAS Billie who got them out of the place Michael was at the beginning
Well, at least now I know that whatever fate is in Billie’s books can be changed because I know for a fact Dean doesn’t die the way her books tell it. It’s way, way stupider
Omg they’re really Avengers Infinity War/Endgame-ing this. All of the books say Dean dies with Michael escaping his mind and burning down the world….except one. The one where he dies on a rusty nail for some reason
That said, I can’t believe Billie let him read AND KEEP THE ONE BOOK WHERE IT DOESNT HAPPEN?!
“Damaged Goods”
Plot Description: Dean decides to spend some time with his mother—until Nick shows up looking for a secret Mary stashed away for safekeeping
Would I Survive the First Five Minutes??: if Nick wanted to kill me, he just would
How does this demon not recognize Lucifer’s vessel
“We don’t hug. I mean, we do, but only if it’s the end of the world or something” truer words never spoken, Sammy
I’m so glad Dean has Donna to take him to go get the best burger
😭😭😭 I’m so proud of Dean for making his needs known and seeing that they are met, even if he’s not forthcoming about WHY he needs them
I MUST know what’s in the Winchester Surprise
When did they get Garth out of the trunk?
Yeah, I ALWAYS think “I should do some welding” when the archangel banging around in my brain starts making my vision go wonky
Nick, you can’t roll up to a small town in a creeper van asking for the friend of the sheriff…
Nick better not actually hurt Donna
I hate that they’re probably right to worry about Dean, but I also don’t like that they’re going behind Dean’s back like this, ESPECIALLY Sam, who seems to be on his way to the cabin
Dean’s read the one way he won’t die with Michael taking over. I don’t know how the whole story goes or if they’re able to divert that to something else but…..let him have some time to process
Ok, we’re getting closer to whatever Dean’s really up to
So Nick is angry because Mary trapped the demon (instead of killing) who killed Nick’s family. I can’t believe he just asked her if she still had the box like she wasn’t dead for three decades
Oh…but she knows where the box is
I really hate Nick putting these women in danger.
The way the writers can’t come up with another way of describing an archangel possessing one of the boys other than “wearing me to the prom” it’s been like ten years, and they’re still going with that
Dean, you’re not talking about Nick when you mention people you think are past saving…or you’re not JUST talking about Nick
Nick, you dumb piece of shit, don’t you dare hurt Mary
Boys!! And Donna!! Thank god you showed up
You know it’s bad if Sam doesn’t think you’re worth saving
What was — oh. Oh no. Dean. Dean, you HAVE to realize Sam is not going to let you do this. He built some kind of box nothing can escape and is planning to pay some hush money for someone to drop said box (WITH HIM INSIDE) into the Pacific Ocean, so it’s just him and Michael duking it out in his brain FOREVER. Sam KNOWS what it’s like to be stuck with an arch angel or two. There is no way this happens
I can’t believe you were ever part of Team Free Will, the way you’re talking, Dean. I can’t believe you’re asking Sam to help you with this insane plan and I CANNOT BELIEVE HE AGREED
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nancylou444 · 3 years
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I tried to be nice
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Became this:
THEM:  hi! thanks for the answers I really appreciate the discussion. normally if someone ships something I don’t like or something like that, I’ll just leave them alone but.. just to be clear I completely respect all of your opinions, even agree with some of them, even if we might disagree on the incest and Castiel haha. So I don’t mean any disrespect with this at all, please let me know if I’m out of line though!  
 But... I saw some things you said, and they come across to me in a way that I don’t think you intended? I feel really awkward sending this haha, you’re very nice and I don’t think you said anything on purpose, but I just.. wanted to let you know that some of the things regarding your opinion on certain characters come across not very well? I don’t think it’s intentional or anything, and I don’t mean to call you out at all which is why I didn’t want to point it out in the replies y’know?  
 Don’t get me wrong though, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with not liking castiel or destiel. I’ve been watching the show for a while with my dad, and he isn’t a huge fan either, I don’t think that’s a problem :) 
I’d continue without waiting for a response but I don’t want to say something you’ve already been told, or continue without knowing if I’ve said something out of line already 😅
ME:  I'm kind of distracted dealing with my Mom's rehab center. But you can keep going.
THEM: Alright! I’ve tried rephrasing this a million times but I don’t know how to make it seem not antagonistic. I promise I don’t mean that you’re doing it intentionally, it’s just, uh a lot of your criticism of spn feels like it could be read as homophobic? Again I don’t think YOU are I just wanted you to know it kind of reads that way!
That sounded so confrontational. I really don’t mean it that way 😭
ME: HOMOPHOBIC? Really? A lot of the 'proof' your fellow shippers use border on stereotypes but you think I'M homophobic? Considering my top two ships are Wincest and Malec. Yeah, sounds confrontational.
THEM:  I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. I guess there’s no other way to say it, but I understand why you feel accused. What do you mean by proof..?
Also I don’t really think having gay ships means you can’t be homophobic. *I* used to be homophobic years ago, and I’m a gay person!
ME:  How old are you? https://nancylou444.tumblr.com/post/154098904136/a-guide-to-dean-winchesters-imaginary-bisexuality
THEM:  yeah this is starting to get frustrating. I’m gonna be real with you, why does it matter if people think dean is bisexual? like, bottom line, that is my question for you
and your answer will determine if your veracity is homophobic. why does it matter that some people think dean is bisexual. not the fans or actors or writers or anything. why does it matter that some viewers will watch, and they will think dean is bisexual?
ME:  My problem isn't that some people think he is bi IN FANON, my problem is that they want CONFIRMATION OF A FANON SHIP. And that some people DENY how the show ended. These same people think that fake weddings are more canon than the FINAL EPISODE.
THEM:  I get what you mean, but how is it a fanon ship when it’s confirmed romantic from one side, and interpretable as mutually reciprocated in Latin America? (I’m going to disregard the bit about the wedding, because I’m a firm believer in Neil Gaiman variety death of the author. Also that’s just people having fun with fanon, who cares?)
ME:  Confirmed romantic?By whom MISHA, who wanted to sell necklaces? Have you never said 'i love you' to a FRIEND or FAMILY member? The dub is not canon, so don't even try using that as proof. Death of the author is just another way of saying MY VIEW OF THE SHOW IS SUPERIOR TO HOW THE CREATOR WANTS TO SEE IT. Jensen has said many times that the ship isn't canon and that Dean is straight. But it's better to believe what Misha says because he agrees with you. You think somebody is bi because of how they sit or the color clothes they wear? That would make YOU homophobe.
THEM:  LOL You know what? I change my answer. I looked through your blog and you ACTIVELY and viscously hate Cas, Charlie, Claire, Kaia and the implication that Jack may not be straight. You’ve said Cas coming out as gay and in love with dean makes the rest of his actions predatory, compared him to a teenage girl, called him creepy, and openly rejoiced in your idea that dean looked ‘disgusted with him’. You said that Claire is awful, that Kaia is a wooden plank, that they ‘shoved them together’ for ‘woke points’ and said that Jody saying Claire was IN LOVE WITH Kaia ‘doesnt count’ and called it ‘lip service’. And it doesn’t end there! After all this, you said that you preferred the old better s4 Claire. Is it because she was ostensibly straight? Are you uncomfortable with queer women? And then you have the audacity to use these characters (Claire and Kaia and Charlie) as reasons to epicly own the Hellers and claim they already have represention. You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling. You are openly hostile to the idea of non-binary jack and were pissed that Alcal endorsed that. You devalue Jack’s value and relationship to Cas who is, textually, his father figure. I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.
Feel free to explain how you aren’t homophobic. I’m so sorry if I got the wrong impression.
ME: Wow I see your true colors have come out HELLER.
THEM:  Idc if you think I’m mean. Go ahead and make a post about me lol, have fun with it. Give me a moment to respond to your paragraph it’s... a lot to dissect.
I’ll touch on your comments about the dub and the Spanish language in a moment. First though
I ’m gonna be real with you, I don’t think you know what death of the author is. Neil Gaiman’s variety of the dead author principal is that once canon ends, the story belongs to those that consume and engage with it. That’s... also literally the theme of supernaturals final season. Anyway I really recommend you read up on death of the author and Neil Gaiman’s takes on fanon. It’s a fun way to consume your media, and in the end that’s what I’m here for.
I don’t care what Misha says, and I don’t care what Jensen says! I think they are both queer because I have eyes and watched the show. I think it’s a lovely narrative that is supported by canon, and it’s fine if you disagree with that
On your last sentence there... lol. It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people. But what do I know!
And finally... ‘the Spanish dub isnt canon’
I am literally cuban. My first language is SPANISH. my entire household speaks Spanish, and my family past 1st cousins don’t speak any English. My Boricua cousins have watched supernatural in full for years, and they watch it in Spanish. Do you think America is the center of the universe? Do you think our media is somehow less than yours, that our interpretations of English language media isn’t valid? What, do you think we are idiots who don’t know how to analyze literature and media? Do you think the people who work at Telemundo, people employed as dubbers and translators, you think they do a worse job than the American crew?
Why, because they aren’t American or don’t speak English? ‘Te amo’ said to a non family member is, in 99% of any instance, ROMANTIC. it’s something you say to your spouse in serious situations like weddings!! Even MARRIED people don’t normally say te amo, everyone uses te quiero unless it is very serious or romantic in context.
All of my family who are Spanish language, they heard dean say ‘y a yo ti, cas’ and think that they were in romantic love. Sorry dude! The United States might be the center of your universe, but Latin America is HUGE. Spanish is one of the most spoken languages in the WORLD. In fact, more people speak Spanish than English. Sorry that you seem to hate gay characters SO MUCH you have to say an entire language somehow isn’t valid to consume media in!
ME: 
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Obviously this heller is batshit crazy. 
Some of those things she thinks I said just show she has no idea how to follow a tumblr thread. 
You are a completely disingenuous bitch and I don’t care to be nice to you anymore! I don’t feel AT ALL charitable toward you anymore, and I don’t care if you have gay ships. Gay people aren’t here for you to fetishize! You CONSTANTLY mock and ridicule jokes made by queer people regarding deans bisexuality or Cas being gay or any number of things. You constantly reaffirm that Dean is straight and call people who think otherwise delusional and disgusting, while you think dean is in romantic sexual love with his male sibling.
Wow. 
I have NO reason not to think that you are homophobic. I don’t care anymore! You’re a huge bitch and, judging by your prior responses and posts, a genuine dialogue regarding queerness in spn is impossible. You regard any instance of canonically queer moments ‘lip service’ and so regard it. You actively hate every canonically gay character and degrade them using traditionally homophobic tropes and stereotypes.
Where have I hated canon gay characters and degraded them using tropes and stereotypes? The bitch has me confused with HER FELLOW SHIPPERS. 
Gotta love how she is defending the Spanish dub. Hit a nerve did I? 
It’s a common joke in queer circles that gays can’t sit properly, specifically bisexuals. Same thing with the clothing, it’s a SUPER common joke for example that lesbians wear flannel. Maybe you need to go outside and talk to some normal, non-incest shipping queer people.
Now who is using stereotypes? 
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ao3gingerswag · 3 years
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okay so I had a lil plot bunny for wander home I thought id share.
so I know that we don't really know how dean turned up at johns, I think you made a passing comment about him being left there but you said you hadn't really thought about it. I was thinking about wander home (as one is wont to do when ignoring any and all other responsibilities) and i had a little thought. so I'm thinking this is way in the future when sam is like 17/18, he's going through all the teenage angst and hes having thoughts about bio family. obviously, dean and cas are very happy at this point but sam for some reason gets it into his head that since he and dean aren't *actually* biologically related, their relationship means less and he starts obsessing over deans actual family and whether they could give him things sam couldn't (I think this would tie into a lot of guilt im sure sam has about his inaction during their childhood at johns even tho he was a literal child) and it's this whole guilt thing of whether or not dean has a better sam out there and how sam used him and all such guilt. so anyways, 17/18 sam is I imagine still doing his lessons with the pastor, perhaps he's been promoted to apprentice or whatever, and he decides to use his almost adulthood to try and track down deans bio family. I think he does this to get answers, solving the mystery of deans past (bc deans been with him entire life) but also to prove to himself whether he is actually keeping dean from a better life (o the teen angst) and maybe reunite them. so adventure commences, I imagine him searching through any records he can get his hands on (not many) and maybe lying to cas and dean and saying he's been send on an errand by the pastor and he goes back to John's inn to search for information. anyways after that all happens idk if it would be better for him to find out the truth or not, I can picture multiple endings that would work out differently which I can also add on later if you want but the ending point would be sam realising that dean IS his brother and they ARE enough and 'family don't end in blood' and all that jazz and he returns to the inn and maybe he tells them maybe he doesn't but either way he comes back a lot happier and dean and cas are like 🤨🤨 but they're happy he's seemed to come out of his funk and welcome him back with open arms and make a fuss out of him and sams like :]]]]
ohhhh noooooo this is wonderful!!!!!!! poor sammy :( having all the survivors guilt come back and blaming himself for things that were SO totally out of his control (sam: i didn’t lift a finger to help him ;~; ! dean cas bobby eileen pastor murphy literally everyone else they know: you were literally like 7 what the fuck were u supposed to do???) (also he DID lift a finger to help he always tried to help and risked his dad’s wrath for it, from the time he was like 3 years old ;~;)
anyway anyway. Sam goes Searching, maybe he has to confront john again to get the answers he wants (if john is even still alive idk. regardless i dont think he’d have his inn anymore lol not w/o dean and sam to do all the work. hes probably in debtors prison or whatever.) and yeah theres def no record of what happened to get dean into john’s hands. i think i mentioned in the outside that dean has a vague memory of being pulled away from his parents while crying ;~; but yeah they sold him to john. but like its the middle ages it wasnt like formal there was no paperwork. there is no record. but! maybe sam finds out where john is through the records he can access thru pastor murphy. maybe like he sees that john had been arrested and is in some prison, so he knows where to find him. maybe they only let him in because he can be like Look I’m Important I Work With Pastor Murphy or whatever. so they let him in ans he confronts john and gets to cathartically shout at him/punch him in the face/force him to tell him where he got dean and everything he knows about dean’s parents.
so he uses this information and finally tracks down dean’s parents. and! they suck! like theyre not EVIL per say. not like john. but they still sold dean to a creep who didnt make an effort to hide how he was gonna treat dean. and theyre...really not remorseful when sam is like hey i know ur long lost kid. the dude u sold him to turned him into a child prostitute. and theyre like well thats not OUR fault! like theyre really defensive and pissy and dont have any interest in meeting dean or even hearing about him. they just want to be left to their lives.
so for a while sam is super devestated about this. i think he kind of built up this whole thing in his head where he would find dean’s family and they’d be wonderful and better than sam and sam would reunite them, thus finally making dean permanently happy and making up for the imagined guilt he carries around bc of their childhoods.
(maybe this whole thing started bc while dean has generally become very happy with his life hes still fucked up, maybe he got into a depressive funk and had like a panicked breakdown like he hadn’t in years, and sam was like whoa. this is my fault and dean still isnt actually happy i guess. maybe if i can find his Perfect Other Family he’ll be happy)
so sam makes his way home all :( sad and depressed and feeling like he failed. and then! when he gets home! he comes in and he sees :) dean being happy :) (dean and cas weren’t worried about sam being gone bc they knew he was traveling, tho they didnt know the real reason). and dean is like smiling and laughing while baking bread with cas and sam is like.... :o and then dean sees sam! and hes like :DDDDD SAMMY YOU’RE BACK!!!!! I MISSED YOU SO MUCH!!! and he runs over and gives sam a big hug and lifts him into the air even tho sam is giant at this point. and sam is like. oh. OH. he has a good family already. cas is his family. and i am his family. and we do make him happy. even if his parents were good he wouldnt want to go live with them or whatever bc he already has a happy family and home here <3 ;~; ;~; ;~;
and he doesnt tell dean where he really was or what he was doing or about his biological family bc it literally doesnt matter at all <3 <3 <3 ;~; <3 :)
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hey, yeah, what the FUCK happened this episode. i've been trying to follow along with the live blogs and its honestly just chaos
Hey anon!!!
Okay so a lot happened and a lot didn’t. And that was the problem, I’ve not been in the fandom long and honestly until about two months ago I had never heard the term bucklemming (and until two hours ago I didn't know it was two people).
However, the fandom has a long-standing issue with them because of pacing issues in their episodes and OOC writing (ie jack not giving two shits that Cas was still in the empty despite knowing about the deal and what would have happened to get him taken by it) and their absolute love of Lucifer.
So quick run down of plot, (apologies this did not stay as short as i planned)
Everyone in the world is dead, Dean tells Sam and Jack that Cas is gone and there are literally no questions asked, they go back to the bunker and a couple days have passed, Dean passes out surrounded by booze but that's pretty much all the mourning we see him do
They follow jacks ‘i feel an energy’ thing to a church but first they make a pit stop at a gas station where Dean finds a dog; Chuck then immediately kills the dog once Dean is all excited that something else survived with them
They go to the church and see Michael who tells them that Adam died in the rapture (yes what chuck did was the rapture) they head back to the bunker and Dean gets a call from Cas but its actually Lucifer at the door and he's here to fuck shit up but wait maybe he’s here to help, he pops a reaper into the bunker (her names betty) and then kills her immediately and she becomes the new death (because the first reaper to die after Death is killed takes over (which seems like a bad system considering decades might go by before a reaper is killed after a death dies but alas) no one questions what happened to all the other reapers by the way but that's not currently relevant) 
Because only death can read the death books betty starts reading chucks and after a few sentences luci kills her (rip betty 2020) luci reveals that he wasn't on their side (shocker there folks) and he and Michael duke it out, Luci dies (thankfully) and Sam starts to translate the book because not only is death the only one who can read the book but they are the only ones who can OPEN the book to meaning that the book had been sealed this whole time
Sam works out a spell and its ingredients and they (the three of them and Michael) go to the literal same place they burned Cas’ body in 13x01 because why not (btw this is not ever addressed) and set the spell up but it doesn't work
Chuck shows up and kills Michael for consorting with dean sam and jack (even tho he was still working for chuck and trying to do right by his father) and proceeds to beat the fucking shit out of dean and sam, they refuse to give in and keep standing up (on several broken limbs might i add) this goes on so long it feels like when luci was beating dean to a pulp in swan song. 
Finally they confuse chuck enough to make him turn around and jack is up and looking like he wants to fuck shit up. he ends up doing the same move to chuck as he did Michael while he was possessing rowena in s14 and chuck collapses
Dean responds to chucks comment about being a killing machine by saying “no I'm not” which we all think is a call back to Cas’ speech before he died. 
The heroes explain that jack had become a power vacuum (actual dialogue) (remember the flowers jack killed in the silo?) and that over these past days he's been absorbing the power that is let off by things, ie, luci and Michael fighting, the plants and flowers, chuck pummeling dean and sam (bc why rip off just infinity war when you can rip off the entire lore behind the black panther suit/ vibranium too)  
Chuck is left powerless after this and dean sam and jack drive off as a now human chuck essentially grovels on the ground. they head into town and jack brings back everyone who was killed by god in the previous episode and then gives a really weird speech that confirms that he is in fact the new god (and that amara is now in him and they are in harmony) but says he's gonna be hands off and legit just glows a bunch and disappears. 
Dean and sam go back to the bunker and realize they don't have to worry about chucks control on them, we get a like four min montage of the entire show and then they literally drive off into the sunset.  
some important notes, Cas was not brought back to life despite it being stated clearly in the episode that god has the power to bring angels back from the empty, no one even asks jack to do it and jack doesnt do it on his own
there is no mention of Bobby Donna Charlie Eileen or anyone else that was killed in 15x18
Sam never asks dean about cas, having apparently gotten all the info he needed in the sentence ‘cas is gone, the empty took him’ 
honestly the only plot thread wrapped in this ep was god’s and while that might seem big its not really enough like the episode was lacking in a lot of areas
Its been said that Bucklemming hates both Cas and Misha, and that they are literally obsessed with bibro (loving sam and dean equally- a fan made term to stop the sam girls and dean girls from fighting i think) and that they are really really into the whole ‘the show is about two brothers and the open road’ which the show hasn't been about since maybe season two or three 
I'm not sure if you can tell from my synopsis (Again sorry it got so long) that a lot of the characters seemed off, Jack not caring that Cas was still dead, Dean not mourning, sam not giving two shits either way, sam not caring to check in on eileen, neither of them checking in with their hunter friends, Michael switching back over to chucks side despite his actions in 15x09, the fact that no one mentioned the plot holes in the ep (by that i mean within the episode no one had questions about the things that didn't fit, like Michael never questioned how a book that could only be read by death was being decoded by Sam)
overall the episode was bad, objectively, not from a destiel shipper standpoint bad. there are many ideas floating around about 15x20 considering this episode really felt like the end of spn, people are mentioning that the relationship arcs are unfinished and that Dabb (whos writing the next one and who has written many of the quinticential destiel episodes) will save the day. Im holding out hope that 15x20 will be better (which should be too hard to achieve after that shit show) 
I'm sorry if this is a mess I'm a bit all over the place but I wanted to make sure you got even a partial answer
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shippinglover · 4 years
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Favorite Supernatural Characters
Just my fav supernatural characters because I felt like it
10. Ruby
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Her ‘I am awesome’ speech is amazing (Honestly one of the best villian speeches) but I liked her character and her little relationships built with the boys. I wish she stayed good as it would have been amazing development and proved that not all monsters are bad to Dean-Which is why shes so low. Still really liked her though.
9.  Bela
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I dont know how popular she is in the show-But I really, really enjoyed her. It might be my bias towords Loren Cohan but I thought she was an interesting mix for the boys. She was sexually dominate, clever, and a strong fighter. I think its a shame she never came back after her first few episodes-But it was understandable that her actress found a new gig.
8.  Lucifer
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Lucifer was somehow all equal parts funny, terrifying, and heartbreaking. He has this kinda cold air around him-That even when he’s smiling or joking it seems as if hes ready to just jump at your throat. But he also has nuance-He feels as if hes right and that hes not a monster-And he actually loves his fellow angels. Especially Micheal and Gabrial as well as his father. And his arc with Jack was also just very sad for my soul. I feel bad for him-But I also love to see him kick butt so. Bad guy Lucifer is just as good as Dad Lucifer.
7. Claire
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Ahh, Claire. My Dean coded little bby. Shes fragile, strong, and childish all in one. Shes a kid who never got to be a full kid-Angels having taken that away from her. Her abandonment issues are very prevalent and I can relate to them. Also have the rebel character be a girl is something new to me-It usually is a guy. Shes rude, sarcastic and doesnt hold back-Also her little storyline with Kaia is just. so cute and tragic.
6. Sam
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Sam is a really cool character because hes either a chaotic mess or a lawful booknerd. Theres literally no in between and I love it. His arc revolving around his rage issues in the first couple of seasons and that devloping into a blood addiction-It was really cool. As well as how his relationship with Dean gets tested time and time again-And right when you think he’ll let go of Dean or that he doesnt love him as much he proves you wrong. I really enjoy him. 
5. Meg
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People just really dislike Meg in the fandom-But I really liked her a lot. I thought her enterance was badass, I liked that we had a tough female villian who wasnt afraid to have a real fight and I also liked that she was shown to get softer towords the end of her run. Her and Cas were adorable and I wish they expanded on her relationships with not only him but Sam. I think Meg deserved better honestly. I also enjoyed the way she spoke-Not just her tone, which is all kinds of hot for my gay heart-But her words. I think she was really funny.
4. Rowena
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Rowena is just really great. A powerful witch who is the mother of the King of Hell-Then eventually becomes the queen of hell? What an icon. Shes adorable too with her accent. And I love her flair for the dramatics-Honestly shes just so great. Her relationship with Sam was wonderful as well-I absolutely adored it. I also liked the little soft spot she seemed to have developed for Jack-I just really liked her as a whole.
3. Dean
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Dean is one of the most talked about characters so I probably dont have to go off on him. Hes complex with all kinds of trauma in him from survivals guilt to internalized homophobia to himself, to childhood abuse and so much more-Hes riddled with it all. But looking past his issues hes a parental (And Maternal) family man who just wants to goof off and help people. He’d do anything for the people he loves-To a unhealthy degree. I just really love him.
2. Jack
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L o o k  a t  m y  s o n. Hes so adorable I CANT. He just wants to help people and have his dads love him okay? He’s a pure bean who has way to much on his toddler shoulders. And who else do you know that just casually becomes god after stealing his powers therefore rendering him a helpless mortal? Not a soul thats who. What a absolute king. We love to see it.
1. Cas
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Listen, I’m a unashamed cas girl. I just love this dorky but badass angel. He’s loyal and can kill you with a snap of his fingers but he doesnt understand pop culture referenced much. I just really love him okay? And his struggled with faith and choosing between being a human or a ‘real’ angel and doing the most human thing by loving his found family and just. I could go on and on with him because dont even get me STARTED on this boys devlopment-
Honerable Mentions-
Kelly
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Anael
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Bobby
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Charlie
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Hannah
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Kevin
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Anna
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rowenashipsdestiel · 4 years
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Call it head cannon or fanfic... whichever you prefer. The sun is cracking and I present a post coital moment between Dean and Cass. With extra angst.
For some reason it occured to me recently to treat every time cass and Dean are alone in the car as postcoital and see how it tracks. Tbh... it tracks well, even on some level for (plug your ears: wincest) everything (at least on a metaphoric level), pretty much. Because the car scenes are usually tending towards soft, open and vulnurable, or ie... how men often are mainly after their arousal has been sated🤷🏼‍♀️. In any event... back on track. To literally treat Dean/Cass in the car as "after sex" whenever possible.
So here I am, watching 11X23. God is dying, the sun is cracked and Dean has taken Cass on a beer run cuz hes not in tbe mood to die sober...
Now it just kinda makes sense, the world is ending and Cass has just come back from being Lucifer's vessel for the failed plan against Amara. So... if we are assuming that Dean and Cass are sexually involved (some do, some don't), either fornourpose of head cannon or fan fiction... then of course they've just done it in the back seat of the impalla. There is no way that they wouldnt have. The world is gonna end and your love just came back to you... time to say your intimate goodbyes.
So let's hop on tbe dialogue...
DEAN: *looks over at cas, back and over again* how you doing, ya good? (Checking in after sex)...*Cass doesnt respond* I mean... the whole Lucifer thing.
Cass: I was just so stupid.
Dean: No.. no..no.. you weren't stupid. You were right to let Lucifer ride shotgun. (It's ok, I'm not mad at you for 'hooking up' with Lucifer, it had to be done)... me and Sam wouldnt done that... *gives cass doe eyes*
Cass: yeah well it didnt work
Dean: no but it was our best shot. And you stepped up.
Cass: Well, I was just trying to help.
Dean: And you do help Cas. (Now dean kinda pours his heart out, showing Cass the appreciation he rarely does.) Ya know i- sometimes me and sam, we got so much going on, we forget about everyone else. (Yeah I realize I take you for granted, but i want you to know i do appreciate you, even if it doesn't seem like it.)
Cass: well you do live exciting lives (maybe feeling a bit uncomfortable with the gushiness, or just wanting to let dean off the hook.)
Dean chuckes: yeah that's one word for it. *But your always there, you know.* (and at this point he turns to look at cass. Cass glances over a bit uncomfortsbly)... Your the best friend we've ever had. You're our brother cass, I want you to know that. (Eye contact now)
Cass looks deeply touched but at the same time, maybe uncertain. Dean has been extremely intimate, but at the same time, kept some space between them. Reaffirmed him as *a brother* (now we're assuming remeber that they've just had sex, and it's not an incestuous thing. It's "you're family" but not that full acknowledgment of being the beloved.
It's a really poignant moment, and Cass looks at him a few times. And ten of course the phone rings and Sam has some news...
Moment over.
And... its season 11. We know that misha has been playing cass as *in love* with Dean for at least 2 years (cuz he said that), but likely longer. Very likely he is in love with dean (whether or not they are having sex)... the world is ending and dean has handed him this double bladed knife. The greatest compliment... but also some distancing at the same time... the push the pull...
*oh my angsty heart*
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mamusings · 4 years
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Having let the 15 x 18 percolate I started to watch again s23 and ep 1-6 of 15. Basically everything available. I'd gotten tired of feeling toyed with and feeling gaslit when trying to get confirmation from reviews for what I felt I was seeing. Ita very rarely in the dialogue but just in the eye lines and symbolically sometimes in the parallel plots.
Anyway: season 14 is a joy really. The beothere have grown up. I had been dishing the endless desperate loop of I d die for you wearing thin. Sam is basically cooked. A leader in the best sense (using his intelligence and his empathy). Dean accepts it even tho it's a bit new to him not being the boss. (The dialogue on chief)
We get that recognition more explicitly here that I found in my reviews of the early seasons that these are 2 very different men but now they have a degree of comfort and space in that that eluded them. They allow each other to be.
Which brings me to my predictions. Sam may be cooked but Dean isnt. Hes still not worked out who he is and how to have what he wants (cas basically).
So is Dean in love with Cas. Absolutely, i think this has been shown in subtext much more clearly than is Cas in love with Dean (I mean romantically/sexually). With Cas we see loyalty, devotion and affection. For an angel what does love mean? I was never quite sure. Does he want an actual relationship with Dean?
Dean's easier hes clearly incredibly attracted excited fascinated by cas in the initial phase. Then you get the affection, the liking, protectiveness. High point purgatory. Also devotedness.
In later seasons we get heartbroken widower and the co-parents/husbands. Plus their fights start to look more like a bickering couple that anything else.
So I am absolutely convinced that Dean is in love with cas.
But how aware is Dean of how he feels? I think hes so scared if being rejected by cas he can barely admit this to himself. Its telling Michael doesnt know how Dean feels about Cas. Theres lots of gay couples in the background by s23 early e15. I'd say it's an indicator Dean knows hed like to be with cas. Theres been no on screen hook ups for Dean (although there are references). But what we get now is acknowledging that a large part of Dean's flirting is social behaviour rather than sexual intent. It's nice, its charming but he doesnt mean it. (Pamela). So at some level Dean knows he wants to be together with Cas. He knows what he has with Cas. (Telling John he has a family - ok that goes wider than Cas but in my view early spn is Dean trying to grown beyond his father having the white picket fence and the girl always felt like something Dean felt he should want rather than something he really did want. The relationship with lisa is framed with lots of doing the chores and proper manly chores at that)
But I do think Dean knows how he feels. We are back to him having dialogue with Sam (Jess even comes up) with that typical early destiel trope of shots of Dean where I think the implication is that Dean is thinking about the same subject matter in relation to cas.
Sam knows but I think the malak box incident re Dean shows us that Sam knows when not to push Dean. He offers opportunities to open up but he doesnt push his brother. Like I said they get each other better now. It's not like when john dies and sam is pushing and pushing for a conversation. Now as cas and Dean's relationship falls apart we get a lot of pained reaction shots from sam. Just like we sometimes get the oh just kiss already smirk in earlier seasons. Sam doesn't understand why this relationship doesnt progress but he respects both cas and dean and doesnt meddle. I think when dean comes our Sam will be pivotal support.
What's interesting is that e15 as far as I have seen it seems to mirror early spn. Dean is mirroring his father. Obsessed with revenge at all costs. Neglecting love and relationships. The brothers are regressing into their old.relationship patterns under stress of mary dying with Dean taking up his rage filled leadership.role again. But the wierd thing is the endless we dont have a choice. Its tfw they have choice, they are all about choice. In fact Cas is choice embodied. He shouldn't have choice but he does. And over the seasons since the soul consumption he has grown remarkably in handling choices. To the extent that at the end of s14 he no longer refers to Dean's choice making on Jack. That's happened before with Kelly but then it was more ambiguous cos it got Cas dead. Then it was faith, he believes I Jack. With the malak box and Jack its ethics. Cas has grown up. Right through s14 its striking how wise he is, how he draws on experience and knowledge to counsel those around him.
I think there is a sharing of power, of burden, to come. The narrative of we shoulder all this so everyone.else can live the cute life we cant will be transformed. Basically buffy final season.
Cas professing his love for Dean. And by preparing what he wants is something he cant have I think is a totally non ambiguous profession of romantic and sexual love. He has friendship with Dean, he has family. What cas thinks he cant have is more that that. So without the fear of rejection Dean's wall can come down. I'm not sure how aware he is of what he feels because Dean can ne a dumbass, but he definitely feels it. Sam knows and will help once Dean opens up. That will take a while because Dean doesnt open up easily.
And finally a comment on the crying which oddly isnt in many of the fan vids. I think jensen is a great actor when it comes to emotional crying scenes. But we should appreciate that so far we have had weeping - tear tracks slowly with big exposition or dealing with grief wiping at his eyes. Or the meltdown, high octane crying very distressed generally life or death shit with Sam and a lot of emotion. We have never seen Dean crying into his hands like that. Curled up, despairing. I think that's another indicator that Dean absolutely knows how he feels about cas.
One final thing. Cas will be back, we wont have Dean at the end of spn with6the person he loves. Either in this world.or another its gonna happen.
Another thing I suspect is that we see with jack that while cas is the great reliable advice parent he cant bond as quickly emotionally as Dean. Its Dean who, when hes minded has the talent of emotional connection in a way cas and sam dont. The fishing expedition shows us that. Dean has the most trou ped connection to Jack, hes hated him wanted him dead. But hes also the one who gets the sunlit upland of fishing. Same as cas is the one who loves unconditionally when Mary is killed. He hugs jack. So when dean is ready to love cas publicly i think it wont be a huge thing of awkward shuffling feet. It'll be Dean doing what hes good at, loving people, but doing it with cas.
Ok I've only watched til episode 6. Gonna avoid spoilers from noe on and cross my fingers. Cant wait to watch it all.
#spn #supernatural #destiel #deancas
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missjackil · 5 years
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My 15x08 Opinion
Our Father Who Aren’t In Heaven
This was a pretty good episode I’ve gotta say. Some good plot twists, and surprises. They even managed to throw some interesting twists into the Sam/Eileen thing!
First, I want to say I’ve become a Donatello stan LOL I just really like that dude! He was a lot of fun this episode, being so over the Winchesters and their monster drama, and the actor was great when he was being Chuck! I could actually HEAR Chuck when he was speaking for him. Kudos old man! 
So lets move along to Sam and Eileen. Its pretty obvious the show is showing us how incompatible they are. She likes hunting alone, he likes “the buddy system” and is overprotective of her. She is being a little too bossy, IMO, Sam doesnt want no “agreement” no “if I need anything from you I’ll let you know”. This isnt how things are with him and Dean. They always have each others back even when they dont need to. They dont share a bedroom, which is good. She knocked on his door, if they had been sleeping together, she’d just walk in.
Some think she is being somewhat of a Dean parallel, but I dont think so. It seems to be its own thing. Sam and Dean don't like not knowing where the other is, they always prefer hunting together, but when theyve been separated, they keep tabs on each other. Eileen didnt look very happy staying in the background while they guys did the fun stuff. A very obvious tell was when the woman on facetime said: “Do you need permission??” and Eileen just defiantly told her to send her the address. She did go tell Sam but made it clear that shes too independent for the Winchester co-dependency. If she survives next episode, I think theyre going to agree to go their separate ways. People can make good friends, but a lousy couple. Im glad theyre not making either of them bad or creepy, like control freak stalker or anything, but they dont make a good team at all.
Now for Dean.  Dean bruh, you have me concerned. I know you want Sammy to be happy and you want to be supportive. I appreciate that, but you seem a little forced in your enthusiasm like you’re being supportive because its the right thing to do, not because your heart is in it, but Sam has now told you twice that its not like that, its not for him, so why are you pushing? I fear that you feel like you will die soon and just want Sam to be happy and taken care of. I hope you know by now, Sam is never going to be happy in a world that you're not in. 
Rowena is back !!! I am so happy shes the Queen!! That’s some great closure for both Sam and the audience to know that even though she went to Hell, she couldnt be happier. Somewhere Crowley is smiling :)
My friend and I thought it odd though that she had Sam leave the room to lecture Dean and Cas to stop squabbling, but the more I think about it, the more I think Sam doesnt really know theyre squabbling, because if he did, hed be telling them to knock it off like always. I think Sam is being given a pass to not have to deal with it this time. 
Now the best for last! Adam/Michael. How great was that?? Wow I am SO impressed with Jake’s acting and how well written that story was. Im glad that this Michael isnt as douchey as AU Michael. This one seems more like the Michael that possessed young john in s5. Adam didnt do anything wrong to Michael so Im not surprised that they became friends. There was a short uncomfortable exchange between Mike and Sam about the cage, but it wasnt very telling. I have always wondered why Sam never acknowledged that Mike tortured him, or even that he was in the cage with him and Lucifer, once he had his soul back. It made me wonder if Mike went insane quickly and didnt bother with Sam? Maybe there were separate cages? I dont know, but Sam has never spoken about him so I dont believe Mike ever tortured Sam. Sam did look a bit angry or resentful, so I think maybe Michael didnt help him, thus making Sam resentful... but “it doesnt matter” as Sam would say.
I liked Dean’s apology and It looks like both Mike and Adam accepted it. That was a very good tying up of a loose end. 
Now we can suffer through a month of hiatus till we see what all Chuck is showing Sam in the visions. As we see him kissing Eileen, even though its a future event Sam doesnt seem like Sam.... he seems more like a dark Sam. But I guess we’ll see.
So overall this was a good episode. Maybe not as big of a cliff hanger Id hope for the final season but it was still good. So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon Ill give this a strong 7.5. No real complaints other than Sam and Eileen have gone on too long. 
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geekout-f-t-w · 6 years
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SAM FEELS AHEAD
So this episode was funny and incredible and hilarious but also heart breaking in a lot of ways for me as a Sam-POV watcher of SPN. So here we go.
I was never party to the whole get the AU hunters out of the bunker line of thought like a lot of people. Sure, they didn’t really serve an immediate “purpose” but that wasn’t the point of them being there, imo.
See, Sam, when he’s confronted with a loss or a crap load of stress, he works to keep his mind off it. He works cases and he hunts and he focuses on something(ie revenge) to keep himself moving forward and he does his best to not think about it. We’ve seen this many times, even as far back as Mystery Spot, Sam doing nothing but slaughtering monsters on his way across the country with the sole goal of killing the Trickster.
At the end of S13, Sam suffered a huge blow, losing Dean to Michael, but unlike every other time when all Sam’s had was Cas and a bottle of whiskey, when Sam got back to the bunker with a wounded Jack he was suddenly surrounded by a group of hunters, and every single one of them was looking to him for guidance in what to do in this new world. So Sam did what he’s always done- he goes to work, but this time not on borderline suicidal solo hunts, but instead as the leader of these people. He steps up and takes on the mantle of being their “Chief”, a general leading his troops into battle, as it were. He’s able to keep pushing on, to keep going and not give up hope on Dean, because he has this group of hunters looking to him for instructions.
Sam doesn’t get to close off, to go off alone and take risks to let the adrenaline and the fighting help blind him to his own pain, or worse help him succumb to it. It’s not that he dealt with his anger and grief, or that he gave up his obsession, we saw that in 14.01 with the convo between him and Mary, but he was able to find a way to work with it in a much more productive way— leading the hunters.
So yeah, for me, I was glad they were there. Sure, from the standpoint of value to the story of the show, other than Maggie there’s really nothing any of them do to “contribute” as it were. But they weren’t in the show for us, they were there for Sam. His character needed them to latch onto just so he could barely manage to keep going, and the writers knowing that about Sam makes me happy.
Moving on to 14.14, and Sam losing all of them. At once. Right in front of him. He helped train these people, took them in, worked with them in the trenches. They formed a bond of commander to his soldiers, fighting together over the months. Sam brought them back in to help when they were hunting the gorgon, Sam believes he’s the reason they were all in the bunker that day, when Michael finally broke out and killed them all. Imagine Sam watching Maggie’s death, and harkening back to the guilt he felt for Kevin’s similar death.
So moving on to 14.15. Sam internalizes everything. He feels everything deeply and strongly but he bottles it up. He keeps it in until it explodes in either self destruction or fiery anger. He doesn’t really talk to Dean about it, nor does he talk to Cas. Rowena’s gotten the closest but he’s even closed off to her. It’s probably lingering from his childhood, not wanting to seem like the “whiny younger brother” to Dean, but Sam hunting like crazy just to keep his brain busy is literally textbook Sam. Bringing up that “they don’t have as many hunters as they used to”... yeah, sure Sam, you’re totally ok.
Sam carries guilt around forever, and even when he gets the chance to unload (08.23) he never really loses that weight on his shoulders. And this is just another weight to carry, another round of deaths he feels responsible for. So when psychic old guy touches his brain, and makes him forget who he is? Sam, trainer hunter who’s been possessed many times and knows the signs, DOESNT FIGHT BACK. It didn’t hit me until after the episode, but a dude ‘waking up’ because of a cell phone? Sam should have broken free easier than he did. But he didn’t. Maybe he wasn’t aware, maybe the psychic was stronger than we thought, but honestly I think that subconsciously, Sam didn’t feel that weight anymore, and he didn’t want to. He needed a break, from the guilt, from Jack’s problem, from everything, and turning into Justin with all his blissful ignorance gave him that. Even if he knew it wasn’t real it was relief.
When he gets back to the bunker, it all settles in again, but he admits it. He says it out loud: “I hate this place right now.” He’s all prepared to make his case to Dean, to argue or to have to explain, but Dean just acknowledges what Sam says, he just says “okay”. Sam’s face after that, the way he seemed almost surprised Dean wasn’t asking for more of an explanation, was a beautiful moment for Sam because he’s realizing that his brother understands. Dean isn’t going to judge him, or try to make him feel better, not anymore. He’s going to give Sam his space, he’s going to be there and acknowledge Sam’s pain and struggles with this, but he’s going to let Sam address it on his own terms.
Anyway this rambled and its hella longer than I thought it would end up being so if you read all the way to the end of this thank you for letting me feel my Sam feels 🧡🧡
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coinofstone · 5 years
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Mint Condition 14x04
If you follow me on the tweety you’ll know that I made a pathetic attempt at a full season re-watch starting in like… September. I got as far as the end of S5 before S15 began, but given my severe case of swiss cheese brain I decided to pause the full series re-watch there and pick up at 14x01. I figured it’ll be faster to get through S14 for a refresher and then go back to S6. Shut up my logic makes sense to me.  ANYwho, Mint Condition is probably my second favorite episode of S14 and definitely an overall series stand out for me - even tho I did have terrible nightmares after the first time I watched it. That fuckin dummy was goddamn terrifying and my subconscious was REALLY GODDAMNED SURE he was going to kill me in my sleep. I’m happy to report i had zero issues sleeping after watching it this time. :) Altho watch I just jinxed myself, since I am gonna watch again as I write this to pull quotes and screens.  You can tell I’ve been looking up recipes cuz theres a massive intro nobody gives a shit about before I get to the point of the post. NEVER FEAR! The good bits are under the cut. 
Let me just start by pointing out that while I do believe that Stuart is a mirror for Cas, The whole toxic fanboy/incel/chan troll shtick isnt reflective of Cas as a person in the way we (I) would normally judge someone like that.  I’m not sure if it’s because Davy actually sympathizes with and sees no harms in humanizing those people, or if it was for the fun of playing with a character like that, but there certainly are some parallels there - in the sense that even within his own community he’s  a misfit, rebellious, and argumentative. either way, the trench coat is pretty damning. 
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Girl Sam comments that the store had been left to her and Dirk, but Stuart had been fired twice, the previous owner kept catching him stealing. But they hired him back because “he’s my friend”. That forgiveness, Stuart’s bad choices and lack of ‘impulse control’ it’s all reflective of Cas, even though it paints Cas in an unnecessarily negative light, on the surface it’s arguable but not entirely wrong. When Stuart pulls out the Panthro toy, his response is: “so angry, so handsome” and damn if that doesnt describe Dean lol.The fact that the first thing we see him do is steal this handsome, angry figure from the place it was sent is just another Dean detail. 
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Hey you know who else got stabbed in the gut like that and almost died?
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These two are the strongest mirror in the ep. Bonding over candy, shared fashion sense and a love of horror flicks, Dirk tells Dean (those names) that he wants to ‘watch over’ Stuart while he is unconscious, and that despite his rough edges, Stuart has been there for him, giving him a place to crash and escape his shitty father. Which, I mean, this is heavy handed as fuck, presumably to make sure the GA doesn’t miss it, but seriously all this kid needs is an American classic muscle car and a love of Led Zeppelin. 
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This where I 
curse my inability to gif because it’s the sublest of moments here but when Dirk asks Dean which of the All Saints Day movies is his favorite, Dean throws a quick glance over his shoulder, as if to make sure nobody is listening. He’s so used to hiding this side of himself, the nerd, the fanboy, that even though he’s a grown ass man that regularly kills supernatural evils, he instinctively looks around real quick to make sure he won’t get caught having this conversation. It’s heartbreaking, and I think, attributable entirely to Jensen - but that’s entirely spec on my part. He does this three times in this scene, before finally getting comfortable and enjoying Dirk’s company. Jesus you’d think he was engaging in some kind of elicit trade the way he’s got his head on a swivel. Poor thing. 
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“growing up it was always nice to check out for while… I like to watch movies where I know the bad guys’s gonna lose.” Dean’s preferred method of escapism is relatable, sure, but  he’s also point blank telling us right here, WHY he’s been hiding out in his room watching these movies, he’s self-soothing. He’s just revealed that he was awake and drowning the entire time he was possessed by Michael, he doesn’t know why he was ‘released’ but he knows he came home to find a ‘house full of strangers’. The fact that his self care at this point is pizza, beer and movies the way he did as a kid rather than cheap whiskey, the way we’ve seen him do as an adult, probably speaks volumes to how actually affected he really is.  
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Dean being the one to wrestle with the father figure - the owner of the store who taught them everything they know before his death, leaving them the business to run and then possessing the lifesize figure of a mechanic who’d been literally burned in order to get revenge on the one who’d been stealing from them - I hate the idea of a John vs Cas parallel and I don’t think it was intended to go that deep, but there’s no denying a paralell between the ghost of Jordan and John.  
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The thread on these two, in my opinion, is a little thin. Beyond the ‘ha ha Sam’s a girl’ joke, and their shared science nerd bit here, the main thing really is that even though the store was left to Sam AND Dirk, it seems like Sam is the defacto leader. She’s the one we see dealing with the incoming delivery, she’s the one behind the counter, and she’s the one who called Stuart to call him out on their one star yelp review. At this point in the season, Sam Winchester is the defacto leader of the new hunter collective he’s inadvertently assembled by way of rescue hunters from Apocalypse World. She also demonstrates Sam’s usual ‘lore’ skills, figuring out that it’s the keys that the ghost is most likely tied to, and finding a chemical in the morgue to use as an accelerant to help rescue Dean. That’s literally all I’ve got on them two. 
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This is random, but the significance of that poster has been bugging me since the live airing of this ep. I do not understand that reference and it’s driving me bonkers, so if anyone does, PLEASE TELL ME. 
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🙃 I really hope I don’t have nightmares tonight. That mask on the dummy is fucking horrible. 
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spootiliousrps · 5 years
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Suspicious Nature Part 3
[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]
Dean nodded and followed the Omega, into the small room. He eyes kept on Castiel to ensure he didn’t wake up. “Gabriel is it? Will you do your King a favour and tell me where the Knight Commander’s private quarters are?” Dean asked, looking down upon the small Omega, who barely came up to his chest.
Gabriel shut the door behind them quickly, peering through the key hole to ensure the Alpha that had chased him continued on, chuckling to himself. It wasnt until Dean spoke that Gabriel's attention shifted, eyeing both him and Cas. "Honestly I rather do Cassie, here the solid and avoid you going anywhere near his rooms." The Omega replied, no hint of the usual groveling respect that commoners showed the King. "He told me all about you, ya know. Really screwed the pooch on that one, didnt ya Deano." Gabriel commented moving forward to obviously check that his friend was alright.
“Frankly, I don’t care about want you would rather do.” Dean stated. “What I do care about is how a common Omega managed to get into the private area, reserved for soldiers. You aren’t you, clearly. And even if you had managed to slip past all other officials, you contract is terminated immediately. So, take me to the Knight Commander’s room, or I will ensure you live to regret it.” Dean stated, keeping the sleeping Omega in his arms.
Gabriel's brow arched at that though he didnt seem angry or annoyed. "What, like throwing me in prison? From what Cassie told me you've already threatened that once. Besides I dont have a contract to terminate. I'm an Omega the only thing I'm allowed to do in this boring place is laundry and cooking. I'll pass thanks." He pointed out before giving a scoff. "Typical Alpha," He grumbled under his breath as he moved to poke his head out the door and glanced down the hall to make sure no one would see them. "Always throwing weight around... making threats." He huffed to himself before pushing open the door. "Well, come on then." He instructed the King. "I may not be afraid of you but if Cas finds out I did help I'll never hear the end of it."
“First you did break the law. You /should/ be in jail. And it’s not like I don’t have much weight to throw around. I am King. And you have no idea what we’re discussed or planning on doing today, Omega, so if I were you I would keep your trap shut on issues you don’t fully understand.” Dean stated. He walked past Gabriel and through the door, without looking at him.
Gabriel followed after without a moment's hesitation. "First off, I have a name and it's not Omega!" He snapped. "Secondly I havent broken any law that you can prove besides not groveling at you! I live here with Cas." He countered as they entered the small office before hurrying over to produce a key and unlocking the Knight Commander's quarters. The man in question, shifted as Gabriel's voice rose, curling into Dean a bit more allowing a small grumble to escape him.
“If you live with Castiel then there is proof you know his secret. You even admitted to talking about the consequences, /Omega/.” Dean said calmly. He looked down at Castiel in his arms As he moved and raised and eyebrow at the Omega. “I don’t he’s liking your tone of voice.” He stated simply.
Gabriel considered that a moment as pushed open the door, Castiel's heavy scent engulfing them as they entered. "You got me there Deano." He shrugged. "But how do you know Cassie just doesnt like /your/ tone?" He argued childishly moving to pull back the covers on the bed. "Let's just make one thing clear... King or not... you hurt my brother and I'll make you wish you were dead." He warned giving a feral warning growl which was a bit strange coming from such a small omega.
“I know it’s you, Omega, but you were talking when he flinched, you are the one arguing, whilst I am remaining calm, and he flinched towards me and away from you, not the other way around.” Dean explained calmly and softly. He laid the Commander down in his bed, both his and Castiel’s cloaks wrapped around him. “You can tell him whatever you wish, but I will have the guards sign that they didn’t see or hear me be malicious to either of you. The guards under his control.” Dean smiled.
Gabriel’s glare darkened. “I didn’t plan on claiming otherwise but I wasn’t talking about today.” Gabriel pointed out. “Sounds like you have a guilty conscious there Dean-o. Maybe you should get it in check.” The small man growled before kicking off his boots and making a show of him crawling into bed with the Omega. It was obvious he was trying to piss Dean off. A ‘Haha I can be in his bed but you can’t’ grin plastered on his face as he wrapped his arms around the larger Omega.
“I don’t have a guilty conscious, I just don’t trust you.” Dean stated softly. He left the room without another word and headed back to his office. To continue on with his workload.
“The feeling is mutual Asshole!” Gabriel called after him in a harsh whisper before getting a bit more comfortable in case the Alpha decided to come back. He really didn’t see why Cas was taken with the guy though it was obvious every time he spoke of him.
The next day, after not a lot of sleep, Dean sent a letter out to Castiel, asking for him to meet with him at the soonest available opportunity. He continued to work in his office, with a considerable less about of paperwork to get through than the day before. His mind kept reliving the past conversation with Gabriel, surely that hate and disrespect didn’t come from one night’s conversation with Castiel. Was it because he was an Alpha and Gabriel was an Omega, would that hate lessen, if he understood what legislation and laws he is wanting to put in place? Or was it another reason why Gabriel hated Dean.
Castiel slept late into the night, only waking when Gabriel brought in the usual over sized breakfast that Cas only picked at while the smaller Omega devoured the rest. A realization of what had transpired had the Knight Commander flushing with embarrassment, but he didn’t mention it to his brother or anyone else for that matter and as for Gabriel… He didn’t speak a word about the King, too curious to see how it would all pan out. So, Cas ate, washed and changed, still not donning the armor of the Knight Commander which would probably make the men worry but he supposed it was for the best. By the time the letter reached him, the Knight Commander was almost through his rounds. He dismissed his men and made a B line for the King’s office; this time, the Man in Waiting didn’t hesitate to push open the doors and announce his arrival.
“You wished to see me Sire?” Cas asked as he moved around the other man and into the room.
Dean nodded and looked up from the paperwork he was reading. “I thought we could find off that discussion we didn’t have yesterday.” He suggested, offering Castiel the seat he occupied yesterday. “I do hope your brother didn’t make up too many wildly incorrect stories about what happened whilst you slept.” Dean said softly as he dismissed the guard.
Castiel moved to the chair before pausing at the words, brows furrowing. “My brother?” He mumbled before realization his him and he tensed. “Gabriel…” He sighed. “I hadn’t realized the two of you met. However he acted… Whatever he said Sire… I assure you I will have a discussion with him. There is no need for any further worry. I will handle his punishment myself, I give you my word.” He rushed obviously worried that whatever the King planned was very severe and far too harsh.
“Oh no no. I believe that stopping him from annoying the other Alphas should do right.” Dean explained. “But I do have a question about him, if you’ll indulge me?” He asked, “his general... annoyance at me surely doesn’t just stem from your discussion the previous night, so I was curious as to why he acts like that.”
Cas seemed to relax a bit at that, though his brows furrowed as he considered the question. “I couldn’t say, Sire… Gabriel has always been a bit… brash towards Alphas… Unless he was sleeping with them.” He shrugged. “But he’s never been as hostile as if your words imply. Perhaps he is simply being over protective. He /has/ played the role as my Omega for quite some time now.” He shrugged, obviously at a loss for any real answer.  
Dean nodded, believing Castiel. “That’s fine. I understand.” He said softly. “I hope you did sleep well last night though, you did seem very... almost delirious before you fell asleep. Can you remember any of it?” He asked.
Castiel’s flush deepened In his embarrassment. “Some.” He acknowledged. “I apologize immensely for bring so improper, Your Majesty.” He rushed. “I can not believe I feel asleep in the middle of our discussion. It will not happen again I assure you.”
“Oh do not worry, Castiel, I have been tempted to do it before now, myself.” Dean smiled. “Do you remember what we were discussing, or will I need to go over it with you? I just do not wish to have your... knowledge lacking in any areas.” Dean explained softly. His hands resting on the table, where Castiel could see them as he leaned back in his chair.
"Yes of course, Sire." He nodded as he considered it a moment. "We were discussing proper attire and terms used during events and in private when becoming your Royal Aide." He offered simply.
Dean nodded and smiled. “You were so delirious I wondered if you had remembered.” Dean tapped his finger on his desk before laying out the files on the potential new Commanders. “Which ones would you say are the best for the role? I know I have ones that I would say are the best, but I wish for your opinions first.” Dean explained.
Cas gave another nod before stepping forward to glance down at the papers. “I would say that there are really only three that stand out more than the others. “Raphael is a strong soldier, he does very well when it comes to fortification and defensive tactics though his offensive strategies are above average, they still need improvements. I have been tutoring him for some time now and there are some improvements though he has a difficult time making sacrifices for tactical advantage. Then there is Azra’il whose battle tactics are a bit… aggressive but effective. The men respect him and he is loyal. He prefers to fight among his men rather than oversee them. It is not a traditional leadership but it strengths the bond between them and causes him to become more reserved when there is a potential of losing men. His tactics are sound and he is a hard worker. Finally, Zerachiel, my second in command he knows the men and the city backwards and forwards. In a simulated environment his tactics are flawless, he’s quick to come to decisions and is ruthless when solving a problem. It is possible he could make a fine Knight Commander he is young though and has never seen a real battle. I am unsure the seasoned soldiers would follow someone such as that… Not until they see how he faces bloodshed.” Cas explained. “That being said, any man on this list would make a fine replacement, Sire.”
“I was leaning to Zerachiel, but as you said, he’s never seen bloodshed. But I do like Azra’s leading style. It could improve the moral of the men, through the difficult adjustment period.” Dean added. “Though, as you know them to best, I will follow your better judgement between Zerachiel and Azra.”
“If I may, Sire…” Cas offered. “I would suggest promoting them both. Azra’il taking the title of Knight Commander whith Zerachiel as his advisor and second. Zerachiel may not be fond of the idea of remaining second but he would be satisfied with the notion that he still has power over the pieces on the board and can prove to be a heavy counterweight to Azra’il eagerness.” He explained. “It also allows Azra’il to free more time for training with the troops while Zerachiel focuses on the more scholarly aspects of the position; and gives Zerachiel a more aggressive counterpart to push him to earn the respect of his soldiers.” Cas explained.
Dean nodded and smiled. “I’ll have my brother draw up the contract for both men. I knew you would be wise enough to become my Aide. And the Aide you are replacing will be honoured to have such a wise man take up his mantle.” Dean smiled. “I will also have my brother draft up a contract for yourself first, to read and change as you see hit. I don’t believe there’s ever been an Omega Aide before, so some of it may be... uncomfortable or inapplicable to you.” Dean explained.
“I have been viewed as an Alpha for a long time, Sire; there is not much in the way of an Alpha’s role that is ‘uncomfortable’ to me any longer.” He replied before hesitating. “Though… I would like to address my men as soon as possible. Since I am no longer allowed the herbs I’ve been using to suppress my nature I fear that if we wait much longer there could be a few… unsavory issues. I know you are busy, Your Grace, but perhaps you could spare a bit of time this evening?”
“Of course I can.” Dean nodded. “Come by here when you are ready and I shall be waiting to go down with you. I know you feel like you don’t need a chaperone, but I know how Alphas will feel if they find out an Omega has been lying to them. That an Omega was in charge. The situation may become hostile... so I’ll use my presence to keep them from doing anything reckless.” Dean explained.
Cas pursed his lips obviously still not liking the idea, though for a different reason than before. It was his duty to protect the King and now he was the reason the man would be put in a potentially unfavorable situation. He supposed he would just have to station more guards in the King’s entourage. “Of course, Your Majesty.” He acknowledged with a small bow. “Do I have your permission to discuss the promotion with the two men in question? With the confusion that will no doubt be imminent I feel it may be necessary to warn them both of their new responsibilities. I, of course, will not provide any unnecessary information until after the address.” He offered, meaning there was no need for them to know of his status before the others, just that he was stepping down.  
“Of course you may, Castiel. At your addressing this evening, would you like to explain your replacements then or at a later date?” Dean asked, wanting to know the Omega’s thought process of the situations. It may make some angrier, but it’s also better to do it all in one go that twice.” Dean suggested.
“I would agree, Sire. Announcing the promotions would be wise.” He acknowledged. “At the very least it would give the two the authority needed to minimize the chaos.” He offered.
“Yes.” Dean agreed. “That settles it.” He puts the documents neatly away in a cabinet and turns back to Castiel, “is there anything else you would like to ask me? Maybe not as a friend, maybe not as your King, but as an acquaintance. Anything at all?” Dean asked
Castiel hesitated, obviously having something on his mind but not quite knowing how the King would respond. "Yes, Si-" He began before realizing he was using the man's title and stopping himself. "Dean." He corrected averting his gaze and flushing slightly. "A favor... About Gabriel... Please dont hold his behavior against him. It is my fault really for protecting him so thoroughly. He is a good man... who has been through a lot. I'm afraid he simply doesnt know better. I assure that I will ensure this is rectified before my transition to Royal Aide... I would like him to remain by my side if you would allow... As an aid of sorts."
“Castiel, He... threatened me. As the person I am, I didn’t take it seriously, but to him it was serious. I cannot trust him, with... the way he speaks, and behaves. He stole another Alpha’s clothes.” Dean explained. “I-” he shook his head as he thought. “He can still live with you, but he cannot know about the work you are doing. I am sorry, Castiel, but I have to think about the sensitive data you will be handling, I just can’t trust him with it.” He explained softly
Cas straightened looking shocked. "He threatened you?" He growled for once looking the part of an Alpha only briefly before he managed to reign himself in. Gabriel was lucky be was still alive after such treason. "O-of course, Sire. A wise decision in light of your interactions. Perhaps a simple role as a palace servant would be more appropriate? Maybe in the kitchens where he cant cause much trouble. He is quite a skilled Baker. As for the clothes... well there are a few Alphas in the barracks that are in a bit of a prank war with my brother... I assure you it's nothing to worry about. But if you would prefer I can put an end to it."
“That is a wise choice, Castiel. But no, if the pranking is consensual, then I see no reason to halt it.” Dean explained. “Plus if we put him to work in the kitchens, he may slow down on the pranking.” Dean hummed, and tapped his desk, in thought. “May I ask you a question?”
Cas blinked in surprise that the man would even bother with the request. "Of course, your majesty." He shrugged.
“I keep calling you, Castiel, but is there a name you prefer, I noticed your brother called you Cassie a lot. But then he was calling me Deano.” Dean asked. Trying not to let his annoyance creep into his voice. “Is there a name you prefer to be called?” Dean asked softly.
That was an… unusual question. No one had ever really bothered to ask him that question before. “No, Sire.” He admitted honestly. “You may call me whatever you wish. Though… I would prefer it isn’t ‘Cassie’.” He added, nose wrinkling in disgust.
Dean chuckles. “How about I call you Cas?” He asks. “I’ve always had an aversion to long names, unless it’s my brother Sammy.” He smiles. “Just one last question and then you can ask me anything you’d like. Have you given our arrangement for a date any more consideration?”
“That is acceptable, Your Majesty.” Cas offered with a small bow. With the second question however he seemed to pause in consideration. “I have… thought about it… However, to be honest I have been quite busy with the change of command. After the address this evening, however, I suppose I will have plenty of free time.” He offered.
“I understand, Cas. Tonight think about it and get some rest. I’ve asked for the rest of the week off so I won’t get any more paperwork, so until Sunday, I will be teaching you the role of the Royal Aide of the Cavalry, if that is suitable for you.” Dean explained. “And then on Sunday, I shall teach you... the rules of... eloquence, for the meal that evening where I shall introduce you as our newest Aide and the old one will officially step down.” Dean explained. “Is that suitable for you?”
“That is most gracious of you, Sire.” Cas acknowledged. “That is more than adequate time for the transition. I look forward to meeting everyone and learning of my duties. I hope to be as much of service as I have in the past.” He nodded before hesitating. “As well as spending more time with His Majesty.” He added, flushing slightly but managing to keep his expression even.
Dean raised an eyebrow at the Omega, but didn’t press. “Would you like to ask me anything else?” He asked. “About my policies I’m wishing to implement, or about my personal life. Anything at all.” He offered. “And remember not every Aide or Commander will get the opportunity to ask me anything so openly.”
“No, Sire; though I do appreciate the opportunity.” He acknowledged. “I’m sure there will be plenty of time to learn everything I’d need in the coming weeks.” He offered. “I fear that if we are to prepare for the address in time that I must being going shortly however.”
“Of course,” Dean nodded. “And if you wish to speak to another Omega about anything... Royal, then Sammy’s wife, Meg, is happy to discuss and help you.” He offered. “I know sometimes it’s just easier for an Omega to speak with another Omega.”
That had Cas hesitating once more. “Of course, Sire. Thank you.” He acknowledged with a bow. “If you’ll excuse me there is much to be done.” He mumbled before turning to go.
Dean nodded and watched the Omega go before preparing some material to help Cas transition into his new role. He thought about how much more calmer Cas was when around him today compared to yesterday. He tried to work out what he had done differently, but apart from being calmer and less forthright, he wasn’t sure.
Cas spent the rest of the day in meetings and managing paperwork to prepare for the transition; sending messengers out with orders and information about the address later in the evening. Everything seemed to be going well enough aside from the meeting with the two that were to be his successors. Naturally, they were upset with the news that Castiel would be stepping down from Command and had many questions but the Omega had some how managed to avoid answering them, ensuring them they would have their answers during the address. Soon enough, Cas stood in front of the King’s Office, dressed in his regal armor for the last time, helmet tucked under his arm as he waited for the Alpha.
[Beginning] // [Previous] // [Next]
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Sam WInchester: The Reluctant Hero
When we wonder in frustration, as to why Sam seems to suffer more than Dean does, instead of being angry at a narative bias, or assuming the show runners hate Sam, take into consideration that Sam and Dean, though equally heroic, are different types of heros  Dean is a willing hero. He has been proud of his job as a hunter since he was young, even if sometimes he was bored with it, or would have liked to persue a career as a machanic. From what we see in flash backs, Dean was boasting “Im a hero!” since high school, where Sam just wanted to be like every other kid.  Sam’s first choice in life is not to be a hero. Not directly anyway. He was studying to become a lawyer.  Azazel said he was becoming a Tax Attorney, but Dean saw him as a Criminal Justice Attorney in What is and What Should Never Be, which I think is more fitting for Sam. The indirect hero that would get justice for the victims. He would make a wonderful psycholigist also. Dean would be a very good cop, or soldier, or first responder.  This is not to say Sam wouldnt run into a burning building to save a family, he most certainly would, but his interests seem to lie mostly in long term after care. So for Sam to be in the front line with Dean, is something he does because its the right thing, not because it’s his chosen life path (early life anyway. he has stated in his later life that he did chose this life for himself) and this makes him a reluctant hero. The problem with that though, is that in literature, the reluctant hero always suffers the most. 
Its no argument that Dean suffers too. Both brothers have broken my heart on many occasions, but Sam’s suffering over any event, stretches far past the season he suffers it in. This is so we, the viewers, have an idea as to how much of a hardship Sam is willing to endure to save Dean and to save the world.  Sam and Dean both willingly went to Hell, but their experiences were greatly different, and unfolded on the show wildly unbalanced. Dean sold his soul for Sam, so Sam would live. He didnt want to go to Hell, but he did it willingly. in Dream a Little Dream, Dean said to his dream self, that he didnt deserve to go to Hell, and even though he made the choice on his own, I think we all feel like it’s a horrible punishment for a guy who just wanted his little brother to live. I know I hoped they could find a way to get him out of the deal, but unfortunately, he didnt. He stayed in Hell for 4 months, or 40 hell years. He was tortured by Alistair for 30 years until he became a torturer himself. Cas raised him out of Hell, completely whole, even old scars were gone, but we didnt know for a while that the memories were haunting him. How did we find out? Because he told Sam. He tearfully confessed to Sam on more than one occasion, what happened, what he did, what it felt like at the time and how it was hurting him then. What came of it is that he got to confront his torturer, and even though he couldnt kill him himelf, Sam killed him for him. Dean got justice.  Sam on the other hand, also willingly went to Hell to save the world, but he felt like he was mainly at fault for breaking the world in the first place, when it was expressed that it wasn’t only him, and he was completely unknowingly breaking it when he did. He obviously didnt want to go to Hell, but he felt it was the right thing to do. What he got for that though, was his soul in Hell, canonically, for 1.5 years, 180 Hell years. He was torured by Lucifer himself in the most brutal ways imaginable. Cas raised his body, soon after he went to the pit, but we arent given an exact amount of time, whether it be an hour or so, or a few weeks, we just know he was physically out for the majority of the year, but I can’t imagine 10 minutes in the cage with Lucifer is a picnic. However, he came back incomplete, without his soul, which endured unimaginable torture. If that’s not enough, while soulless, Sam did things he wasn’t proud of when he got his soul back, and suffered with this, Once he got his memories of Hell back, a whole new level of suffering began.  How was this handled? To our knowledge, he never told anyone the details of his Hell tour. All we know about it, was shown in flash backs and hallucinations, that ended up driving Sam insane. Sam was “fixed” by Cas, by simply shifting the pain to himself, not by Sam talking about it, or confronting his torturer, or anyone killing Lucifer.  Sam didnt get justice in any sense, and he still carries all of this with him. He has even had to work along side Lucifer to try to stop Amara. No one even brought this up, even though Sam had very recently been back to the cage and had to face Lucifer and the trauma all over again.  Season 13 and still Sam hasn’t been given justice or seen closure when Dean’s was answered in only a few episodes. How can we not see the imballance? Well, when we look at it as Sam is the long suffering Reluctant Hero, suck as it may, it makes more sense. It plays into the narrative that the pain piles on Sam, and Sam stuffs it down. We ourselves may forget this happens, if the show itself didn’t bring it up.  The case of Tracy Bell for example. A girl that pops up out of nowhere in 9x2 for no reason than to remind Sam that he let Lucifer out and people got killed. I know a bunch of you blame the writers of the episode for that, as though they hate Sam or Jared, but that was part of the Gardreel story. Something that the producers must have told the writers they wanted. “Bring something painful up from Sam’s past, so that when he feels good at the end of the episode, we can be reminded that theres an Angel healing him from the inside” is probably close to what was said in the meeting. We the viewers need to be reminded that Sam never lets things go, at the same time as he never really speaks of them either.  It took 13 seasons, but Dean confirms for us in 13x4 that Sam doesnt admit things or it makes them real, and then he has to deal with it. Sam even confirms it himself in 12X3 when he says he knows Mom is burying herself in hunting instead of dealing, through years of personal experience. Now that we understand this is part of Sam’s character, we can better understand why we dont get to see his emotional POV very often, and his traumas rarely get worked out.  The differences between Sam being the reluctant hero, and Dean being the willing hero, manifest in many ways.  Dean gets very antsy if its been a few days that they havent had a hunt to go on. Sam however, is content to stay home researching. Their short time of trying to live a domestic life with their girlfriends shows reluctant vs willing also. While Sam was with Amelia, he had nothing to do with hunting except reading the news paper and believing other hunters were taking care of things. He refused to tell Amelia about that part of his life. Dean didnt hunt, but he kept it at arms reach. He kept devils traps in the door ways, a rosary in water under the bed and a gun nearby, and he let Lisa know all about that part of his life, and even tried to live it and maintain a life with her.  Dean is the kind of guy who will show you every scar and tell you the details of how he got it, while Sam will hide his scars. Dean suffers when innocent life is lost, but he holds on to the fact that he’s saved more people than he’s hurt and it can help him make it day to day. Sam feels like he failed if he didnt save someone. This is precicely why Sam suffers the burdens of his wrongs for years,  and Dean doesnt. Dean did a lot of crap while he had the MoC but he hasnt had to visibly suffer from it after the fact. Sam however, is reminded of his poor choices for seasons after the fact. Now since its not a matter of Sam goes to jail for things and Dean doesn’t, we only need to realize its part of maintaining a character trait for us, so we dont forget that Sam never forgives himself and suffers for years over what he considers failures.  Now, this willingness vs reluctance shows in their relationship also. Im not going to try to prove one loves the other more, because I am convinced that Dean is #1 in Sam’s world and Sam is #1 in Dean’s world and they love each other as much as any two people can love each other (to steal from the mouth of JP) they both take care of each other, and neither had to be told to do so. Even when Sam was too little to actually take care of Dean, he still did the best he could by wanting to be with him, and giving him gifts. Dean didnt have to learn 100 ways to make mac and cheese, he did it because he wanted to make Sam happy. That being said, lets move on… Sam’s reluctance in their relationship, isnt that he loves Dean less, or doesn’t want to protect him, but his biggest fear is letting Dean down. He can save Dean’s life a million times but considers himself a failure if he let Dean down. Dean’s biggest fear however is Sam dying. He can let Sam down, he can piss him off, but if Sam isnt alive and well, Dean considers himself a failure. When Sam assumed Dean was dead in S8 and didnt look for him, he was going on a promise that he wouldnt look for him. Since we didnt get enough insight to Sam’s state of mind at the time, Im going to assume that Sam was crushed that Dean was dead, but for himself, it was more important, that he didnt let him down by breaking that promise. He saw how angry Dean was when Dean thought he made a deal that raised him from Hell, so he “knew” Dean would be disappointed if Sam looked for him now. Dean however, needs Sam to be alive, so he will risk Sam being disappointed and possibly hating him, as long as he’s alive.  So now in S11 its brought up again, that Sam didnt look for Dean in Purgatory, and Sam hadnt forgiven himself for it, its not the writers hating Sam/Jared, its showing us that Sam still hasnt gotten over letting Dean down. He’s a long suffering character, and doesnt see that he was justified in his actions, but instead blames himself for inaction. This fits right into Sam not finding a Win in a case where he couldnt save everyone. He knows he helps more people than he hurts, but the fact that he hurts people at all outweighs the good in his eyes.  There will be a time Im sure, and hopefully soon, given the events of the last 2 seasons, that Sam may collapse under all this weight. Maybe he will have some time to voice how badly things hurt him. But if he doesnt. try not to write it off as no one caring about his character, but understand his character feels like a burden if he unloads to people, even, and especially to Dean, who Im sure he believes has enough burden on his shoulders, without Sam sharing his. So try to be patient my friends. This would come out differently if it was a written story. The writer would be able to show us inside Sam’s head easier than they can this way. The only way into Sam’s head is through someone vocalizing it. If Sam does, then we dont see him burying things, if someone else does, it sometimes looks like hes being picked on for no reason…. but there is a good reason. It’s to keep his character consistant as the longsuffering reluctant hero. By @missjackil
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awed-frog · 7 years
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The specs and fics are high on that rn but do you really think we'll get any grieving Cs-dean story? We know in the beginning he'll mention Cas but simply alongside Mary and Crowley. Afterwards? Im sure Sam will say something to Dean once avour Cas but hiS focus will be about Mary who he believes is still alive, jody wont say anything about Cas she doesnt know about him, and dean we know him wont be bringing him up. Maybe Jack will - and I hate the Jack storyline lol haha
Hey there - sorry if I’m answering so late, I’m almost done with the week from hell and finally have some time to catch up on things.
Off the top of my head -
1) Dean will grieve for Cas, because we’ve seen him doing so before - we’ve seen him become a useless drunk as far back as S7, and, more recently, we’ve seen him obsess over Cas’ safety when that whole Lucifer thing was going down (this was particularly obvious because Sam was written - wrongly, imo - as someone who couldn’t care less).
2) On the other hand, SPN doesn’t have a good track record for mentioning dead people, which I always found frustrating and not very believable - especially if we consider Sam and Dean have the advantage of knowing for sure what happens after death. And, whatever, so at the very beginning you drink or sob or punch the walls, but after a while it’s simply human to talk about people you lost (“What do you think Bobby would make of all this?”) and the fact they never go there - the fact neither Sam nor Dean ever wondered what Charlie’s Heaven looks like, the fact John was never mentioned despite Mary’s magical return - that annoys me to no end. So I won’t hold my breath waiting for them to change just because it’s Cas; on the contrary, I expect the usual thing - Dean in full I don’t care, leave me alone mode, Sam seemingly not giving a shit, and neither of them mentioning Cas at all (but let’s all check for what beer they drink, because that’s likely to be relevant). 
3) Another thing is that, because of that bullshit the relationship between Dean and Cas is deeper than the relationship between Sam and Cas but we won’t tell you why wink wink nudge nudge, there’s usually a big difference in how Sam and Dean react to Cas being in danger (or, in this case, dead). Now, if this was a normal show and the fact Dean is in love with Cas was out in the open, the story could be told much, much better - because Dean would be able to be a mess around Sam and Sam would be allowed to grieve openly for someone who is his best (and almost only) friend and with whom he has a deep emotional connection. Instead, the show traditionally uses the contrast between Dean’s and Sam’s reactions to suggest that they don’t care in the same way (but why??? who knows??!!!??), and the result is that Dean frets and drinks and is generally annoyed at the world, while Sam acts like nothing’s wrong and doesn’t give a fuck about anything that’s not some final victory (we saw this for bloody weeks during S11, and I hated it).  
4) Also: Dean is not used to lean on other people, and he’s certainly not used to lean on Sam. Losing Cas will surely shatter him from the inside out for a variety of reasons (even if you discard the romantic element, well, Dean’s stated several times that Cas’ family, and since he feels responsible for everything, he will feel it’s his fault Cas died - which, technically, is sort of true), but Dean doesn’t have anyone to talk to. Sam’s primary focus will be Jack, not ensuring that Dean doesn’t fall apart (because, again, Sam’s being written in a shittier and shittier way imo), and Dean wouldn’t want to talk to him, anyway - parents generally avoid distressing their kids with their own problems. The obvious solution here is Jody, but, then again, the obvious solution used to be Charlie back in the day, and even Crowley, and Benny, so I’m not expecting a lot of opening up there. I wonder if and how Claire will be involved in all this, but, again - if I had to bet, I’d say Dean will likely find his emotional outlet with a stranger, either directly (as per the now infamous church confession) or indirectly (and yay for the mirror-a-palooza thing we see in every episode as victims of monsters mysteriously say exactly what Dean is currently thinking but is too straight to say out loud).
So, well - yes, I think Dean will grieve for Cas, but I’m definitely not expecting tearful confessions or a complete breakdown or Sam being overly supportive or anything like that. At this point, it seems like Sam and Dean will give Cas a hunter’s funeral (which, in my opinion, is a stupid idea, but whatever), say some bullshit thing about how he was family, and then immediately start fighting over Jack, and then - who knows. Sam’s goal will be to open up the passage into the other world again, so he’ll be looking forward to working with Jack, while Dean will be his usual grumpy self because reasons. And, of course, as we’re facing this incredibly important thing - finding a way to go back for Mary, kill Lucifer, and save the world from a Nephilim, some kid will be mauled by a werewolf and So, get this or I got cabin fever or We might as well help people and the quest to find Mary (not to mention time to grieve for Cas - and even Crowley) will have to compromise with the show’s need to remain exactly the same, or else.
(As for Jack - I’m not overly excited about him, tbh. We had the ‘exceptional kid’ storyline, like, three times already, and they never made use of it in any way that made sense. Also - if I had to guess, I’d say Jack will imprint on Sam in the same way Amara imprinted on Dean, because parallels and also Jack is Lucifer’s kid, after all, but for some reason Jack won’t kiss Sam and won’t walk into the sunset with a chorus of Girl, you’ll be a woman soon, you’ll need a man and yay for heteronormativity.) 
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thethingwewrite · 8 years
Text
A Kiss for the Night
Summary: You and Crowley have this weird connection that non one know about. All you can think of is wonder why everything happened like that.
Prompt  for the Heavens vs Hell Challenge : New’s Years eve Kiss
Request by @winchester-smut : Can i request a Crowleyx Reader where Reader doesnt trust Crowley when they meet until he save her then maybe a kiss or more.
Pairing: Crowley x Reader
Word Count : 2904
Warning: smut (oral male receiving, rough sex), alcohol, blood, character injured, character exploded, angst
A/N: Here is my entry for @cici0507​ challenge heavens vs hell. I am sorry for the delay. it’s also a request for @winchester-smut. she doesnt feel well at the moment i hope this fic will make you smile. Thanks to @supermoonpanda​ and to @ariannnawinchester​ for betaing this.
tag : @thing-you-do-with-that-thing , @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​, @dr-dean​, @helvonasche​, @wevegotworktodo​, @thorne93​, @mrswhozeewhatsis, @aprofoundbondwithdean, @faith-in-dean, @roxy-davenport,  @fangirl1802, @percywinchester27,  @bloodysideofhell, @secretlyfurrydragon
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“5, 4, 3, 2, 1 Happy New Year!”
Everyone started to scream before hugging each other. You shook your head, not in a mood for celebration, too worried about Crowley and the Winchester boys, mostly Crowley without really knowing why you were. You turned the tv off, then laid down the bed and looked up at the ceiling, wondering what kind of mess they were in. Strangely Crowley had insisted that you weren't part of this mission and to your surprised Sam and Dean had agreed.
“Well, well, aren't you having fun” A Scottish accent pulled you out of your thoughts.
You wanted to stand up, to hug him and even more but you didn't move, briefly looking at him before looking up at the ceiling
“What took you so long?” You asked him
Crowley rolled his eyes “Happy to see you too, love” He said laying down next to you as you gave him some space before cuddling against him
You know, it took him off guard because it took him a second to relax, you looked up at him and chewed your lips for a second and before you even register what was going on your lips were pressed against his, one of his hands tugged on your hair while the other was resting against your back pulling you closer to him
“(Y/N) we’re home!” You heard one of the boys call out for you
“That’s my call,” Crowley said, pulling away “Happy new year,” He said disappearing
You sighed a little annoyed by almost everything: the boys having a bad timing, him disappearing on you and mostly with yourself because you let him kiss you and actually enjoyed kissing him. You wondered what had happened for you to go so low, where did it all begin
May 2013
“What is the drill now (Y/N)?” Dean asked, holding his bag
You rolled your eyes “Come on. Do we really have to do this?”
Dean frowned “Yes (Y/N). We do”
You sighed “I have to make sure Kevin doesn't try to kill Crowley, not be near Crowley either and also if I find anything on Cas I have to call you”
“Good girl,” Dean said “Train a little while we are gone. You will have a little test when I get back”
You rubbed your face, seriously annoyed by him treating you like a kid “Fine, Daddy. I will not try to throw a party while you are gone”
Dean swallowed hard, looking at you for a brief second before shaking his head and walking out of the door as Sam called out for him. You chuckled, then went to check on Kevin, to see if he made any progress on translation the tablet, however, he was nowhere to be seen, you frowned and hoped he wasn’t with Crowley. So you ran toward the dungeon as fast as you could, when you arrived, Kevin was holding a knife against Crowley’s neck
“Kevin! Don’t!” You almost yelled
“He deserved it! After what he has done to me” He said not looking back at you
“Listen to t…” Crowley smirked
“Shut up!’ Kevin yelled
“I know what he did and for that he deserved to be burned on a stick, however doing this now like this, you will not be better than him. I doubt that what your mother would want you to do that” You said slowly coming toward him “Please, Kevin.” You said as you reach him a placed a hand on his shoulder
You didn’t know if your little speech works because Kevin only react a few minutes later by throwing Crowley back into his chair, then pushed your hand away and turned to face you, anger and tears in his eyes
“Don't ever bring her in this again!” Kevin said anger in his voice
He pushed past you and left the dungeon upset, you turned to look at Crowley, who had a smirk across his face.
“Thanks, Love. I’ll remember that” He said, “You are new around here aren't you?” He asked as he watched you
You rolled your eyes as you checked his chain, then you just stood up and walked toward the door 
“I’ll give you the same advice I gave our little friend Tran. You should leave the boys while you still can” He said
You stopped and turned to face him “Kevin is my friend, the boys, even Cas, but Kevin is certainly not yours” You snapped 
“Oh, cheeky. I like it” He smirked “Seem like you are the possessive type. I like it even more”
“Uh god. Listen douchebag. Be happy that I wasn't at Kevin’s place, otherwise, you would be dead by now” You said storming out of the room without knowing Crowley was grinning
Dean walked into the room, bringing you back to earth, you sat up and smiled at him.
“Hey, Happy new year!” You said
Dean raised an eyebrow “Really? We missed the party?” He said sitting next to you
“Well, according to the clock, we did.” You said, pointing to it.
Dean shrugged “Have you seen Crowley?” He asked
You bit your lips, wondering if you should tell him “He was here before you came” you told him avoiding to give him the other details
Dean frowned “Listen (Y/N). You became like a sister to me and I think I should warn you about him. He is a demon, don't let him get near you” He said “For some reason, he has this weird obsession for you, I don't like”
You smiled “Don't worry Dean. I won't let him come closer to me” You reassured him, although it felt like it was yourself you wanted to reassure.
Dean glanced at you suspiciously “Good” He stood up “Now let’s go celebrate this nonsense” He said taking your hand and leading you out of the room You chuckled, but you couldn’t help think of Crowley, your mind went to the day you started trusting him
September 2013
You knew you weren't supposed to leave the boys side, but you did because you couldn't stand their new pet. Crowley has been around for a few months helping the boys going after Abbadon. This time it wasn't her you were after, the 4 of you were on a hunt, looking for a werewolf. Crowley was starting to get on your nerves, that is why you sneaked away from the boys when they were arguing with him if they should kill him immediately or try to give him a second chance.
Yeah, you knew it wasn't safe for you to be in the middle of the woods, the full moon up in the sky and probably a werewolf in the area looking for a little snack like you. After a few moments of walking, your phone was buzzing for the umpteenth time, you knew it was the boys wondering where you were but you didn’t care, you just turned your phone off. Right then you heard something in front of you nevertheless something or someone grabbed your shoulder, immediately your instinct kicked, you turned and side kicked whoever it was.
“Nice kick love” Crowley smirked, holding your legs
You pulled your legs while rolled your eyes “What do you want?”
“Shutting off your phone isn’t really a good plan.” He said
You shrugged “Buzzing me more then one isn't a good one either,” You said starting to walk away
Crowley sighed, but he teleported in front of you “You aren't leaving my side until Sam and Dean comes”
You scoffed “Good boy” You put his arms “But I am not staying here with you,” You said moving to another side
In one second everything changed, one second of distraction, one second of letting your guard down, none of you expected what came towards you. When you realize what had happened, it was too late, Crowley was pushed harshly against a tree while you were on the ground trying to fight for your life.
The werewolf was above you, his razor teeth were trying to bite you while his claws were gripped deep in your arms. You screamed in pain, however, after what felt like an eternity, he was thrown away from you and pinned against a tree. You gasped in pain as you watched Crowley taking care of the werewolf.
“Who do you think you are!? Destroy my favorite suits and daring to touch her!” he said “I am the king of hell. You insignificant, stupid dog!” he slowly closed his fist making the werewolf suffer and growl in pain until he exploded blood going in every direction.
You were actually surprised that he was capable of anything like that, maybe the human blood did serve well. Crowley walked towards you, then making you stand up and checking your body before frowning
When the party was over, you weren't drunk as the boys were that's is why you decide to call it a night. You helped the boys get to each of their room, not without difficulties for each of them. Dean was a flirt, more than he usually is, even though he still consider you his sister, you just ignored him making sure he wouldn't try to kiss you. On the other hand, Sam was a different story for him being drunk meant to deal with all the questions and issues he had more than what he used to be and it usually ends up with hugging you. Which means they weren't different from being sober they were just worst.
Once you were done, you went back to your room then let yourself fall down your bed exhausted by everything. Keeping secrets weren't your thing, but yet you succeed to have way too many at the moment and making a list would take you forever to see the end of it. All you knew is that it was Crowley’s fault, you never wanted this, never wanted to hide anything from the boys, but he convinced you it was best for everyone and now you are here with your thoughts all alone.
December 2013
It had been two months since the last hunt with the boys and Crowley, the one that you were briefly or badly injured, well it actually depends on which side you see it nevertheless in your opinion neither was good. After that the boys would always try to make you sit the hunt, they found and Crowley, to their surprise, would help them, you didn't like that, but in the same time, you thought it was clever from him to do that. However, two months after that hunt you decided to go on your own pretending you had found a hunt 4 states away from them, but the truth was that you were in one of the cabins you inherited from your father 8 months ago right after joining the Winchesters.
You spend the day settling everything to make sure you were comfortable, safe and protected. During that time you knew you weren’t alone that someone was spying on you, that you would need to face him later, at that moment you had barely time to stop you had to continue. You were lucky to finish at sunset, proud of yourself, you opened a whiskey bottle found in the cabinet your dad had over the years. You drank waiting for your fate to happen until the darkness surrounded the cabin from the ground to the sky. Although nothing happened, no change, only you felt hot, arousal, and hunger,  drinking didn't help mostly because you always lose control, however, now you tried to control those feeling only making your inside hurt you so bad.
You fell on the floor, grimacing in pain, tears in your eyes and you held your belly. Pieces of broken bottle everywhere, you couldn't think straight it was hurting you like hell. 
“Crowley! Please help!” You begged knowing he was around
“Seems like you are in some kind of trouble.” He said, picking you up on the floor and walked toward the bed
“Wh... What is... going... On?” You tried to say
Crowley laid you down the bed “You need to breed love” He said, pushing a strand of hair behind your ears,
“W... What!?” You asked, shocked
Crowley smirked “You need to have sex and in your case, whatever the gender”
You shook your head “N...No!” You said then groaning in pain when a wave of something you couldn't describe hit you
He scoffed “Well then you chose the wrong place to stay, ” he said then sighed when he saw the confuse look in your face “Outside there is at least 5 of them, they smelled your scent and they need to breed just like you”
Fear crossed your face when you realize what it means now. That it was really what you were and will be for the rest of your life. “Kill me. Please” You pleaded as you gripped his shirt
Crowley frowned “I didn't do it last time I am not going to do it now. Love” He said somehow you felt like it was hurt in his voice, but you weren't sure about it 
You closed your eyes for a second and when you opened it the scenery around you had changed, you were in a sort of luxurious room, in a comfortable king size bed and there was no smell of old and moist woods. You didn't question that, you were too much in pain for that  
“Why not?” 
Crowley rubbed his face “Because you are important to the bloody Winchester ” He said
“Help me then” You quickly said
He sighed “Are you sure you want this?”
You grimaced in pain “Please” you gripped his shirt 
“As you wish.” He said, leaning down to kiss you 
You were taking a back by the control, the roughness and the anger he had in him that he needed to let out. Usually, you would enjoy that control, you would let him make you his, making sure he would let the rough and that anger aside but not today, it was different. It was like something in you wanted the anger and the roughness and probably much more. Just not letting him control you, something in you want to take it from him.
There was nothing passionate that kiss, nothing to say that two lovers would enjoy each other much more like two beast in a need of dominance. The kiss seemed to be a way to prove that to make sure one of you will be the alpha. It started to be more intense, with both of you biting each other lips
Eventually, Crowley let you take over, he knew it was your time that you needed this right now. That's why you pushed him down the bed down on top of him and ripped his jacket and shirt off 
“Easy with the suits love. It's hard to replace them” Crowley whispered 
You were too far gone to care about anything at the moment, the sound that came out of your mouth was a growl like you were bothered by him talking. He chuckled, then groaned when you kissed him down the chest and another when your mouth was around his hard cock. His hand gripped your hair and made sure you went all the way down his length.
“Easy, darling, don't want me to come already don't you?” He panted, looking into your eyes
You pulled away “Take off my clothes” you ordered him sound a little off
Crowley immediately snapped his fingers, right then your clothes left your body. You didn't waste any time by riding him, you groaned as you felt his big member inside of you.
The memory of that night made you wet between your legs, that night was the best night you had in your whole life, the way you two had sex what so much powerful and rough using every position you both knew and even letting him take over at some point during your long session. Your body missed that and you weren't able to find anyone with so much experience. After that none of you talked about it simply because it was just pure fun which you hoped would never happen again, at least that was what you tried to convince yourself expect the kiss you had earlier didn't help.
All those thoughts slowly started to make you sober, slowly making you realized that today is a new year's but not different than the other. Except you were the only one who would decided to change it and make it better with a new start of your own choice. You knew which one you had to make to help the one you love, you stood up and walked toward the door expect karma is a bitch and like to mess with you, it took only one second for the usual pain to make you fell on the floor and another second to make every bones of your body started to hurt and twist inside of you.
“Crowley!” you screamed as your eyes turned yellow.
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