#carthart

[stagnantstruggle]

[stvyblvzingg]

[vivaciousoceans]

I gotta rant about something that as a Olivia Benson fan first, really bothers me. Elliot would’ve NEVER left Kathy for Olivia. Ever. They had to kill her off to even give eo a chance. And I just feel like Olivia deserves better than that. Better than being somebody’s second choice. They can spin it however they want to. The facts will always be the facts. I don’t think Elliot would’ve ever looked twice at her (in a romantic way), had Kathy lived. I always did feel like Olivia loved him more than he did her. I also feel like that’s what scares her the most about Rafael, is for him she’s his first and only choice. And she’s never really experienced that type of unconditional love with anyone.

You’re 100000% correct. Elliot would’ve never given Olivia the time of day if Kathy was still alive. He had ample opportunity to leave her, to get a divorce, for god’s sake, the show was in season 12 when he left. He spent 12 years as Olivia’s partner, never once making a move, not even when he was separated. I don’t doubt that Elliot feels something for Olivia, I don’t doubt that he loves her in his own selfish way, but she is NOT the love of his life. If she was, if she was truly the woman he couldn’t live without, Italy wouldn’t have been far enough. When Kathy was leaving him, he continued to show up, and yes there is a difference because she had his kids, but also he wanted HER! As evidenced by them making Eli. Olivia has always been his work wife. The wife he goes to for emotional support so his real wife doesn’t see his demons, the toll the job takes on him. Rafael has always only had eyes for her.

He doesn’t have a wife and 5 kids holding him back. He doesn’t have the baggage of a failed relationship 15 years ago (Brian Cassidy) holding him back. He’s never going to ask her to give up her job to ride off into the sunset with him (Ed Tucker). If she let herself, if she truly let herself fall into him, she could be happy, loved, cherished, and that scares the shit out of her. Because who could ever love someone made from a monster? Who’s been broken over and over by countless evil men? Who could actually want her? Who would actually choose her? And Rafael is right there answering every single one of those questions with “me”, and that terrifies her. She’s never been loved unconditionally.

And the idea that somehow Kathy is the reason Elliot never pursued Olivia is ridiculous. The fandom paints Kathy as this jealous bitter wife who won’t let Elliot go, when she did!!! And then she didn’t even know for sure that Elliot and Olivia hadn’t talked in 10 years. She still praises their partnership on her deathbed. Elliot is the one who couldn’t let Kathy go. Elliot is the one who abandoned Olivia without a word because “her voice would’ve made him stay” as if her voice had ever been enough to make him choose her.

[bunny-banana]

another secret level of fluency that nobody talks about is making mistakes like a native would

[ryderdire]

It’s wild bc I relate deeply to Labour by Paris Palmola and I’m not even a girl anymore

[zekkopunks]

after 10 years… I finally learned how to get to route 18 in bw2

[stagnantstruggle]

[laindir]

lol I’m just thinking about the best thing I’ve ever done/worst mistake I’ve ever made with regard to reading jjk is the realisation (while in the midst reading of the Shibuya arc) that Fushiguro Megumi is my favouritest character, because:

1. Alongside Yuuji, he has always been central to the overarching themes and main narrative of the plot = hence more screen-time, character conflict/struggles, and gradual character development for Megumi overall

2. BUT AT WHAT COST ?????

[gopher-jade]

tbh the worst part about sasuke's pre-massacre family situation is that, objectively speaking, it's a shit situation. his father constantly compares him to an older brother that most people cannot live up to anyway, and practically dripped disdain and dismissal and never showed affection. his mom is the mediator, which is fair enough and very commonplace, but we see evidence that this means sasuke's own feelings about fugaku's shit parenting just gets dismissed. his older brother constantly dismissed him too, says "sorry i have more important things to do than spending time with you" with a smile on his face.

and sasuke misses it. finds his insides radically rearranged by their loss, and cannot live on without avenging them. is absolutely torn apart by the absence of this family; who if they had lived would have caused him (was already causing him) some intense problems with self-esteem and the ability to acknowledge and sit in his feelings.

itachi's finger prod, this symbol of brotherly love, is literally always associated with "maybe later, sasuke." "i have more important things to do, sasuke." "you'll have to train by yourself / live on in this world by yourself, sasuke." sasuke's familial dynamics always involved absence and a gnawing lack of support.

like. grabs your shoulders. the way family in naruto is super fucked even though their absence also fucks sasuke and naruto up. what in the hell.

[an-puca]

i saw florence + the machine live for the first time the other night and it was the most emotional i've ever been at a concert. it was genuinely cathartic.

[cuntyarmand]

Drafted some eddie gifs and now sleep 😌

[lunarscribbles]

it's thinking about jaime lannister hours 😔

[bloodrosehipbullet]

Fuck anger management, you ever act just like your dad?

[ohfairandflightylove]

if i went to a destruction room i think id start by breaking a ton of glass and end by ugly sobbing and try to piece the fragments back together

[daydreamdoodles]

This close to making coffee

[yugoooooooo]

Just saw barbie and I'm gonna be thinking about it all night. What a lovely movie ❤️