#carthart

[stagnantstruggle]

[stvyblvzingg]

[vivaciousoceans]

I gotta rant about something that as a Olivia Benson fan first, really bothers me. Elliot would’ve NEVER left Kathy for Olivia. Ever. They had to kill her off to even give eo a chance. And I just feel like Olivia deserves better than that. Better than being somebody’s second choice. They can spin it however they want to. The facts will always be the facts. I don’t think Elliot would’ve ever looked twice at her (in a romantic way), had Kathy lived. I always did feel like Olivia loved him more than he did her. I also feel like that’s what scares her the most about Rafael, is for him she’s his first and only choice. And she’s never really experienced that type of unconditional love with anyone.

You’re 100000% correct. Elliot would’ve never given Olivia the time of day if Kathy was still alive. He had ample opportunity to leave her, to get a divorce, for god’s sake, the show was in season 12 when he left. He spent 12 years as Olivia’s partner, never once making a move, not even when he was separated. I don’t doubt that Elliot feels something for Olivia, I don’t doubt that he loves her in his own selfish way, but she is NOT the love of his life. If she was, if she was truly the woman he couldn’t live without, Italy wouldn’t have been far enough. When Kathy was leaving him, he continued to show up, and yes there is a difference because she had his kids, but also he wanted HER! As evidenced by them making Eli. Olivia has always been his work wife. The wife he goes to for emotional support so his real wife doesn’t see his demons, the toll the job takes on him. Rafael has always only had eyes for her.

He doesn’t have a wife and 5 kids holding him back. He doesn’t have the baggage of a failed relationship 15 years ago (Brian Cassidy) holding him back. He’s never going to ask her to give up her job to ride off into the sunset with him (Ed Tucker). If she let herself, if she truly let herself fall into him, she could be happy, loved, cherished, and that scares the shit out of her. Because who could ever love someone made from a monster? Who’s been broken over and over by countless evil men? Who could actually want her? Who would actually choose her? And Rafael is right there answering every single one of those questions with “me”, and that terrifies her. She’s never been loved unconditionally.

And the idea that somehow Kathy is the reason Elliot never pursued Olivia is ridiculous. The fandom paints Kathy as this jealous bitter wife who won’t let Elliot go, when she did!!! And then she didn’t even know for sure that Elliot and Olivia hadn’t talked in 10 years. She still praises their partnership on her deathbed. Elliot is the one who couldn’t let Kathy go. Elliot is the one who abandoned Olivia without a word because “her voice would’ve made him stay” as if her voice had ever been enough to make him choose her.

[secretsofthewilde]

Margaret Curruthers is such a good addition in Deadloch, because by the time we realize that the killer is most likely a male (and therefore isnt her), we already know that she's a threat we just don't know how bad her actions have been yet. Her calling Abby over about Miranda's earing and her "trespassing" confirms to us that she is in fact a rich white woman who weaponises her privilege over the aboriginal women around her, despite her claims of charity. She honestly could have gotten away with her behaviour (both current and past) if she hadn't decided to;

1) try to punish Miranda for refusing her offer

2) Go back to the Island to try and cover her past sins (her brother's body)

It's doing this and revealing her true nature, which sets her up to fail. Even if she hadn't been bitten by the snake in an act of karmic justice, her choice to try weaponise her status against Miranda and Tammy would have been enough to cement the already brewing suspicions about her true nature, and therefore the Island dispute would have come out eventually.

But because she couldn't handle the thought of coming under suspicion and her true nature being revealed, the second she finds out her brother's disappearance is being looked into she acts rashly and goes the the Island and seals her fate.

Even the fact that the girls were attempting to help her out when they find her bitten, despite at this point already knowing she called the police on Miranda for trespassing, shows brilliantly how the girls believe in community and supporting each other whereas Margaret for all her public philanthropy doesn't truly care for the others around her - as we just witnessed her abandon the other women arrested with an obvious lie that she intends to get her lawyer to help them out too.

The island was never hers, and we see this when despite her constant warnings to everyone about the tiger snakes, she met her end by disturbing the snakes' natural habitat in her attempt to bury her past sins.

In a show that constantly points out the flaws of men/the patriarchy, it's nice to see them not only successfully but (imho) brilliantly write a storyline underneath the main plot that shows the villainy of colonialism that persists to this day in women like Margaret.

[bunny-banana]

another secret level of fluency that nobody talks about is making mistakes like a native would

[fuckmeyer]

hey bestie i'm finally here with that essay about jacob fighting for bella's humanity w/o being a love interest bc the potential that has! he's set up to be the perfect avenue for it! he's the warmth and sun that she loved from arizona; he's the community and family she could be deeply enmeshed in w/ charlie and billy; he's a childhood friend who grew up (which bella's going to lose the potential to do if she becomes a vampire! and she's going to forget that past!); he's someone who fixes up old damaged cars instead of having perfect ones, and they aren't the *same* but they're still good...he's literally thematically everything best abt being human that bella will lose, AND examples of the negatives she sees in humanity, (all the times she thinks abt how the wolves are fragile in comparison to the vampires)...and it would just be SO fascinating to see that played out w/out the romance. it would honestly be even more powerful! bc baked into smeyer's worldbuilding is that vampires prioritize their romantic partners above everything else and having jacob be the true contrast to that where he's a platonic connection that bella genuinely values equally and she has to think abt how becoming a vampire would cut her off from the potential of connections like that!!! i am thinking so many thoughts

BESTIE thank you as always for dropping the Jacob love in my inbox!

you're so right about Jacob being the perfect avenue to explore Bella's doubt about vampirism! the warmth & family & community & LOVE & acceptance & nostalgia she loves about humanity is all embodied in Jacob's character & in their relationship. she likes hand-me-downs & homemade gifts! she likes acts of service! she likes reckless stunts that remind her of her own fragility & weakness! she likes warm sodas & spaghetti dinners! she likes being reminded that she belongs somewhere! & THIS IS JACOB <3

the fact that their relationship isn't utilized to this end (or any end, really) is my biggest problem with Eclipse. Bella drops little hints in the narrative that she's nervous about becoming a vampire. there are so many opportunities— e.g. when Rose tells her story— for her to reflect on what she's giving up.

in the end, she doesn't sum up the argument in a compelling way & doesn't make her choice in a believable way.

in part because the event that kicks off her grand realization that she's not ready (AKA THE CONFLICT OF HER ENTIRE SERIES ARC) is ...graduation

big life event as a catalyst seems to make sense. but how relevant is it to her narrative? & once it's brought up, we don't we see her digging into why she's nervous. what about saying goodbye makes her not ready? what about getting what she wants terrifies her? what does she need to sort through? what plans does she need to make? we're left to wonder what's running through Bella's mind re: the biggest decision of the series...in a first person narrative. no!!!

Jacob, who embodies all these ideals of her humanity, should be the one to push her to this realization. the climax of her internal conflict should be focused around him: losing him physically/emotionally (or both), & everything he represents. there is so much weight that her relationship with Jacob adds to her choice if she's allowed to love him and Edward unconditionally! as a romantic interest, all Jacob's doing is pushing her away.

(& that's why this whole fucking triangle makes no sense. he loves her so much he remembers her from early childhood. he loves her so much he'll sit there for months & pick up her broken pieces. he loves her so much he'll spend every moment just doing silly little hobbies together. he loves her so much he wants to fight for her humanity "until her heart stops beating" AND EVEN AFTER. but he doesn't love her enough to respect her choices or opinions? he doesn't love her enough to know that by being an asshole, he's pushing her closer to death? imo this is where we see stephie's grubby hands moving pieces. Jacob loves her more than he's in love with her.)

& so, because the "i'm not ready" realization is tied to something Bella doesn't give a shit about, the realization that she is ready is equally empty

what makes her decide she's ready to become a vampire is GUILT & FEAR & ANGUISH. she's "ready" to become a vampire because she feels weak & useless. worse, this realization is not touched on as the event (the training sesh) unfolds. she has this realization OFF-PAGE & then shows up to Edward's proposal like "yeah i'm ready to become a vampire but first i wanna fuck :)"

& we're supposed to buy that? girl, you resolved nothing internally. you didn't show us what changed for you. you're making this decision out of fear instead of out of love. & we're supposed to believe this is what little miss "thoughtful & responsible" wants???

it's such a blatant disregard to all the growth she went through & the relationships she developed. you can't just turn Jacob in a fucking asshole & turn the choice into a non-choice & call it day. Jacob deserves better, Bella deserves better, & the readers deserve better!!

MAKE 👏 EVERYONE 👏 SUFFER👏👏👏

(in the name of love!)

[feelingtheaster99]

Seeing all their backstories was really hecking cool and now all I wanna do is see some of Rosamund and Mother Goose and Pib’s stories in that same format tok

[zekkopunks]

after 10 years… I finally learned how to get to route 18 in bw2

[stagnantstruggle]

[darlingsmagpie]

hello my life is pretty wack right now in at least 4 ways and so ive decided that i would like to be back on this cozy little hellsite so that I can yell into the void and also look at shitposts

[laindir]

lol I’m just thinking about the best thing I’ve ever done/worst mistake I’ve ever made with regard to reading jjk is the realisation (while in the midst reading of the Shibuya arc) that Fushiguro Megumi is my favouritest character, because:

1. Alongside Yuuji, he has always been central to the overarching themes and main narrative of the plot = hence more screen-time, character conflict/struggles, and gradual character development for Megumi overall

2. BUT AT WHAT COST ?????

[redrocketpanda]

Hi, 999. I would like to make a report to the police

"Please state the nature of the crime"

Stephen Rooney is reading me to filth in his portrayal of Astarion and I do not like it. Ask the man to cease and desist

[gopher-jade]

tbh the worst part about sasuke's pre-massacre family situation is that, objectively speaking, it's a shit situation. his father constantly compares him to an older brother that most people cannot live up to anyway, and practically dripped disdain and dismissal and never showed affection. his mom is the mediator, which is fair enough and very commonplace, but we see evidence that this means sasuke's own feelings about fugaku's shit parenting just gets dismissed. his older brother constantly dismissed him too, says "sorry i have more important things to do than spending time with you" with a smile on his face.

and sasuke misses it. finds his insides radically rearranged by their loss, and cannot live on without avenging them. is absolutely torn apart by the absence of this family; who if they had lived would have caused him (was already causing him) some intense problems with self-esteem and the ability to acknowledge and sit in his feelings.

itachi's finger prod, this symbol of brotherly love, is literally always associated with "maybe later, sasuke." "i have more important things to do, sasuke." "you'll have to train by yourself / live on in this world by yourself, sasuke." sasuke's familial dynamics always involved absence and a gnawing lack of support.

like. grabs your shoulders. the way family in naruto is super fucked even though their absence also fucks sasuke and naruto up. what in the hell.

[an-puca]

i saw florence + the machine live for the first time the other night and it was the most emotional i've ever been at a concert. it was genuinely cathartic.

[cuntyarmand]

Drafted some eddie gifs and now sleep 😌

[divine-adeline]

so you cauterize the wound.