#cars and cyborgs and big explosions and robots.

[fisherrprince]

thinking about motorcity dandelions again

[frasier-crane-style]

Terminator: Dark Fate

I have no idea how TSCC came up with two seasons’ worth of innovative scenarios about Terminators and these cinematic universe motherfuckers can only redo T2 with more CGI.

This movie is plotless. It has no real plot. It’s like Now That’s What I Call A Terminator Movie! There are so many callbacks and borrowings from all the other Terminator movies that it passes the point of homage and just becomes plagiarism. The bad Terminator is the same as the T-X, metal endoskeleton with a T-1000 shell. They kill him with a Terminator power core. They say Come With Me If You Want To Live and I’ll Be Back (twice! It’s the first thing Sarah Connor says and it makes no sense in context, it’s just something people say in Terminator movies). In fact, it has anti-plot, since it undoes a lot of the story developments in Terminator and T2.

The premise is basically just we’re going to remake Terminator 1, but people don’t like reboots, so we’re going to bring back Linda Hamilton and make it a technically kinda sorta sequel (sure, Skynet was wiped from existence, but another, completely different, yet exactly the same AI called Legion was created and did the exact same thing. Which also happened in T3, but they had the decency to still call it Skynet). But otherwise, it’s entirely people being chased by an evil robot from the future and trying to destroy it. 

That’s it. That’s all there is to it. T2 had the whole thing about preventing Judgment Day before it happened. T3 had Judgment Day actually happen. This one, nothing. There is nothing going on under the surface other than a bunch of action sequences and explosions. Even T3 got some mileage out of the idea that Judgment Day was inevitable. Here, our cast learns that Judgment Day was already ‘averted’ once slash that it’s destined to be repeated and they basically go “Eh. Figures.” I’m not kidding.

Wait, that’s not fair. Let’s count out the TWEEESTS.

1. In a very contrived way, the script waits an hour and a half to actually explain why heroine Dani has been targeted for termination--you know, the thing Kyle Reese explained to Sarah Connor the moment they were out of danger--all to set up this big ‘reveal’ that Dani isn’t the NuSarah, she’s the NuJohn (yes, they actually say this aloud, just so you soup sandwich motherfuckers in the audience get it). Hear that, neckbeards, John Connor is now a woman! And Mexican! And she’s got a bit of a gay vibe, because it’s 2019 and God forbid we have a heroine that isn’t a bit bicurious. If she has a cock and balls, my bingo card will be a winner.

2. Months after killing John Connor and thus completing his mission, an Arnold-model Terminator started a family (wow, that was quick) and learned the value of human life and eventually switched sides. This is a crazy new idea that also happened in Terminator: Genebissss, so it’s done and dusted in ten minutes, even though Arnold is the most engaging character. (He’s saddled with a lot of yuk lines about how he’s a comically serious Terminator, yet (teehee) works as an interior decorator, but at least he has a personality.)

3. The other good Terminator is Grace, who needs meds to keep up her cyborg strength or she’ll crash (this never affects the plot) (it’s like they read something about Rey Palpatine having no flaws and so they decided to give Grace the ‘flaw’ of literally having her own Kryptonite). She’s not a Terminator, she’s an augmented human, which means she can make MCU-style wisecracks every five minutes. (”I didn’t hear anything.” “That’s because you’re not a cybernetic super soldier from the future.” Actual dialogue.)

4. Linda Hamilton is back, baby! Yes, that’s right, they dragged her away from doing guest spots on Lost Girl! Can you believe???? She’s become a Terminator hunter that ambushes Terminators as they come back from the future and destroys them, because Skynet was both able to send back an infinite number of Terminators AND because now they can easily be destroyed by one five-hundred-year-old woman. 

This makes it a bit confusing why they have so much trouble taking out Ghost Rider, given that he’s a T-1000 skin with a creamy T-800 center. It seems like if you hammer him enough, he’s got no endoskeleton, and that’s all she wrote. That’s what happened to the T-X. Can his liquid metal skin just walk around without the other half of him? If so, what’s the point of the endoskeleton? The T-1000 managed without it and that seemed a lot harder to kill. At one point, Sarah hits the bare endoskeleton with a bazooka, which seems like it should’ve been a mortal blow, but it’s the first act, so I guess not.

And is it supposed to be funny that the opening takes place in a car factory where (in 2019!) the human workers are losing their assembly line jobs to machines? Because they’re all Mexicans? None of them ever look at a Terminator and go THEY TOOK OUR JOBS, but man, that one is all teed up for the Rifftrax boys.

For a movie with, as I said, no plot, it’s very rushed. They seem to be saying “yeah, it’s a dumb Terminator movie, you know the score,” (even tho it’s halfway aimed at people who aren’t Terminator fans; more on that in a minute) because it seems to take all of ten minutes for both good guys and bad guys to find Dani and start getting into CGI stunt double fights, which means the story has very little time to breathe and we have very little time to get to know any of the characters. The bad guy spawns practically at Dani’s front door! And pretty much does everything by massacring a bunch of people and then hacking a computer. The T-1000 had some intelligence, some charisma. This guy’s a big nothing.

And the Dani character is useless. She starts the story already super assertive, is barely traumatized at all by her loved ones being killed and her own life being endangered. There’s none of that relatable feel of an everyman suddenly being told they have a grand destiny and an incredible responsibility, because right from the start she’s standing up to her mean boss and doing the Nevertheless She Persisted thing. And all this while being literally five feet tall and looking all of twelve years old. 

I love these Spy Kids movies.

And at least the original two movies were smart enough to leave the future John Connor mostly to the imagination. This one actually shows us Dani as grizzled military badass, beating up guys and delivering inspiring speeches (would it surprise you to know that humans fighting among each other “is exactly what Legion wants”?), and it’s just--oh man. If ever a political leader is enough to make people think back to the good old days of Trump and Biden...

And if we’re going to talk shit (rightfully) about Jai Courtney’s Kyle Reese not being at all scruffy or traumatized or feral, it should be noted that Grace seems pretty well-adjusted for a post-apocalyptic guerrilla fighter (who all wear Starship Trooper uniforms). Aside from a tendency to smash the face in of everyone she comes across, whether they’ve done anything to deserve it or not (Sample dialogue, to a doctor who is looking at her X-rays after performing life-saving surgery on her: “Did I give you permission to look at my private parts?” SMASH. No, really!)

They really go all in on this cringey, woke af “You’re not the mother of some MAN, Dani. YOU ARE THE FUTURE!” And yet, there’s a hilarious amount of toxic masculinity in this movie, just without the dongs. About every other line Sarah and Grace have is generic tough guy bullshit about how they’re going to kick someone’s ass, how they’re suspicious of someone, how they’re hostile towards someone. If they had dongs, you would think they were the smallest dongs possible, because they are compensating for something, BIG TIME. Between the T-800 and Sarah and Grace, everyone in this movie seems to outright hate each other, to the point that Arnold’s killer cyborg is one of the more pleasant characters. It gets to where you just want someone to order a fucking decaf. Does the fact that Sarah Connor has a vagina keep it from being ridiculously over the top how she spends all her time either blowing up robots or drinking herself into a stupor? C’mon. You can’t complain about male characters having ‘man-pain’ then give Bad Grandma a pass over her ovaries.

And that’s it. It’s a Brundlefly shit between yet another dumb girlpower reboot for the people who’ve never seen a Terminator movie and a sequel with Sarah and Uncle Bob to try and get that last drop of blood outta this stone. They’re trying to make something that appeals to both people for whom this is their first Terminator and people for whom this is their latest Terminator and it just doesn’t work. The newbies don’t have any emotional investment in these characters and the Terminator fans don’t like it that all the old movies were rendered meaningless to prop up Grace and Dani.

Hilariously enough, I actually played Terminator: Resistance recently, which is a fun little mid-tier shooter that was meant to tie in to this movie... and it completely ignores all the Dani/Grace/Legion BS to take place in John Connor’s future war and tie in to the first two movies. That’s how forgettable this movie is. Its own damn video game adaptation pretends it doesn’t exist. Fuuuck.

Oh! Oh! Oh! And in that big, bad, sexist original Terminator, which was so unwoke and problematic, Sarah saved herself and finished off the Terminator herself. Here, Dani has to be saved by Arnold at the climax. The 35-year-old movie is more feminist than this one. Fuck you very much.

[lhugbereth]

Cyborg Promptio teaser

So I managed to write some intro for this tonight, but didn’t quite get to the smut. Damn plot, interfering with my porn.... Anyway, before I go pass out (I’m drunk and it’s 1am, I have work in the morning and also my ears are ringing??), I figured I should post what I finished. 

Tagging @lunatic-charm @cardigan-carm and @sayura21 who seemed interested :) 

(Under the cut!)

The apartment door creaked on its hinges, splintered, and dropped to the floor, kicking up dust from the debris that had, until a moment ago, been a functioning wall. Now it was little more than ruins, half of the plaster blasted away in an explosion that had taken out much of the hallway as well. Shouts rang out, panic in the midst of the sudden attack, but they were distant, removed; backdrop for the real horror, which was standing amidst the rubble like a hulking, metallic beast.

Half-man, half-machine.

From under thick, untamed eyebrows, the figure’s gaze pierced through the smoke. His left eye whirred, the only sound in the room above the chaos of the building, and glowed red-orange as it scanned for signs of life.

There - huddled under the cables and wires of a computer desk, hands trembling around the handle of a cheap revolver - was his target.

The figure stepped forward. Heavy boots crushed wood and drywall alike, echoing the hum of metal limbs in motion, until he was close enough to close his fist around the barrel of the gun.

In a thrumming voice, he said he’d come from the future to save humanity from extinction.

And that’s when Prompto knew things were going to get weird.

---------

He’s been sleeping in the back of the stolen car for three weeks now. It wouldn’t be so bad, Prompto thinks, if he’d also thought to steal a blanket, a pillow, and maybe some cushions to cover up the springs poking through the seat under his butt.

Oh, and maybe a roof. That’d certainly be an improvement over the gaping hole overhead where Gladio had ripped theirs off. Sure, at the time (when those assholes with the giant guns had been chasing them) it had seemed like a fine idea. And honestly, watching a cyborg super soldier tear apart a car with his bare hands had...done things to Prompto. Weird things.

But now, without the roof, there’s nothing to keep out the chill after the sun goes down.

To be fair, it’s not all Gladio’s fault. Even if he hadn’t shown up out of the blue, blasted off half of Prompto’s apartment, and threatened to kill him for the sake of the future, things would have turned out just as crummy. The problem, of course, is that his intel had been wrong - all of the intel was wrong - because Prompto hadn’t done a damn thing.

But whoever had, they’d done a bang-up job of it.

The day Gladio arrived was the day it started. First, one by one, the social media sites went down. Then the telecom. Then the government databases, falling like dominos to a unknown, unnamed hacker. World leaders were quick to blame each other. Tempers flared and shots were fired, as panic erupted among the people. No banks, no records, no knowing what the hell was going on; the very technology civilization had been built on collapsed overnight.

Of course, Gladio had seen it coming. Knew exactly how it would play out, hour by hour, and where to take Prompto that they might survive the worst of it. That’s how they ended up on the run, in a stolen car far from Insomnia, while the rest of the world fell into anarchy. While civilians killed each other and bombs flew; while buildings toppled and the wars began.

Then, in the midst of it all, one name had appeared, scrawled in a mix of oil and blood across the facade of the fallen Citadel: Argentum.

Prompto had done nothing. He was only a self-taught hacker with a habit of exposing politicians’ dirty secrets - not a mastermind, and certainly not a killer. But there was his name, spelled out for all to see, all to blame, and suddenly the only one on his side was the cyborg who’d come to stop him in the first place.

Gladio had...apologized. Profusely.

He’s also saved his life on at least six different occasions by now, so Prompto tries not to hold the whole apartment-blasting, death-threatening, crazy-future-robot nonsense against him. To err is human, after all, and Gladio (as far as he can tell) is at least a third flesh and blood. Mostly his right side, where from the shoulder down to his hip he’s all muscle, sinew, and bronzed, tattooed skin.

In contrast, his left side looks like a computer got into a fight with a scrap heap: stiff metal plates, interlocking and individually controlled, move over an underlayer of wires, cords, gears and sockets. Prompto isn’t sure how deep the skeletal frame beneath runs, but wherever metal meets skin there are painful-looking scars. Jagged, raised. Almost as if his body had been torn apart and welded back together again, machines replacing him piece by missing piece.

It’s the one thing Prompto has yet to ask him about. He isn’t sure he’s ready for the answer.

After a while longer, the springs digging into his back finally get the better of him, and Prompto pushes up and off the worn leather seat. Stars glitter overhead as he slides out of the car (there’s no door on the right side, either - same reason, different fight) and pads his way barefoot over the hard, dusty ground. Over to the form of Gladio sitting, unmoving, with his legs swung over the side of the ledge, gaze lost somewhere in the haze of light on the distant horizon.

Insomnia. His hometown, too, or at least what’s left of it by then.

“Can’t sleep, big guy?”

Offering a smile, Prompto settles down on the ground next to him and folds his legs under his rear. It’s uncomfortable, he thinks, but at least it’s warmer than the alternative. Though not quite as warm as the flesh-and-blood arm that moves automatically to envelop him, or the tug of emotion in the corner of Gladio’s mouth before he speaks.

“Not for about eighty years now, actually. You, on the other hand….“ He turns, favoring Prompto with both his human and his mechanical eye. “You should be resting. It’s late.”

“I got cold,” the blond admits with a shrug. It’s not exactly a lie, but he still doesn’t know how to explain anxiety to a cyborg. “Figured you might want some company, something to talk about. It’s gotta get boring just staring at nothing all night.”

Gladio shakes his head as that arm around him tucks in, pulls him closer into welcoming warmth. “This isn’t nothing, Prom, not to me. In my time, all of this -” he explains, sweeping his metal hand out over the dark, dusty plains of Leide between them and the Crown City. “Just ruins. There’s no beauty left, nothing to remember the world before the Fall. I’m trying to enjoy it now while it still lasts.”

[57hz]

Things That Are Cool When You Are A 12 Year Old

Swords

Beer and whiskey (but not necessarily getting drunk)

Weed (read: the concept of getting high)

Black leather jackets

Armor with the big shoulders

Cussing

Calling your friends slurs

The Matrix/Fight Club/Boondock Saints/All Tarentino films

Armor with the big belt

Skulls

Big stacks of money

Wrestling

Cyborg soldiers

Evil robots

Blood/non-specific ’guts’

Smoking

‘Karate’

Boobs (but not necessarily sex)

Big explosions

Guns, especially pump-action shotguns

Skateboards/BMX bikes

Electric guitars

Heavy metal (entry level only)

Zombies

Fast cars/motorcycles

Slasher films

Comic Books

Staying up late

South Park/Family Guy/American Dad

Satanic imagery (pentagrams)

[thatothercosplayer]

“Yo! Ikura-hakase here.” She waves. “I know things have been quiet lately, but there’s good reason for that. We’re hard at work on our first ever Summer movie! Exciting, right?” Ikura grins. “Unfortunately, until we finish, posts will be rather sparse. So, for now, I’m going to present a Top 5 to fill in the void of our absence!” 

A whiteboard rolls up out of nowhere, which has five long magnets covering up spots on it. 

“So, if you know anything about me as a person, you’d probably know I’m a huge Metal Hero fangirl. I mean...hello, I made Kyusha. But have you ever wandered what my personal favorites are? Well, wonder no more! I’m here to count down my personal favorite Metal Hero series! I’m going to set a few ground rules here. Given that there are two trilogies and a duology in the franchise, I’m going to limit myself to one entry each. So I can only choose one Space Sheriff, one Special Rescue team, and one B-Fighter team.” She blinks. “....that is, if I do put them in. And one more thing- this is probably gonna change. I mean, seriously, my favorites kind of change depending on what I’m in the mood for, but I love them all.  

#5 - Space Sheriff Sharivan

“I’m going to go ahead and get it out of the way- I love Gavan because he’s the original, and Shaider is....” Ikura pauses. “....well, Shaider, but when it comes to the Space Sherriffs I have to go with my boy in red, Sharivan. After all, I took a lot of my inspiration for Kyusha from him. Laser pistol? Finishers that end in ‘Crash’? Check, check, double check.” 

She clears her throat. “Anyways, Den Iga was a forest ranger from Inner Iga island. He was attacked and mortally wounded by the Buffalo Doubler, and sent off to Planet Bird by Retsu Ichijouji for some medical assistance. Impressed by his courage, Commander Qom of the Galactic Union Police (who Retsu works for) trains Den and eventually he becomes Sharivan, showing up in the last battle against Makuu to bail Gavan out of a tight spot. Afterwards, he remains stationed on Earth to fight against the Madou Space Crime Syndicate. They’re a totally different organization that definitely isn’t a pale imitation of the Makuu Space Mafia. Nope.” 

Ikura taps her chin. “Honestly, what isn’t there to like about Sharivan? His striking crimson electro-plate armor is sure to make an impression, and his spaceship turns into a giant robot thing that...admittedly, looks like a vacuum cleaner with legs, but still manages to look cool. Somehow. Not to mention, his theme is easily the catchiest out of the three Sheriffs. Heeeey booooy~” She starts humming to herself.

#4 - Tokusou Robo Janperson

“If Jiban is the Metal Hero franchise’s answer to Robocop, then Janperson is it’s answer to Robot Detective. Y’know, one of the more forgotten Shoutarou Ishinomori shows from the 70s?” Ikura clears her throat. “Anyways, what does Janperson do? Well....he fights for justice. Seriously! Over the course of his adventures he tears through four different criminal organizations. Damn! Janperson doesn’t fuck around!” 

“One of my favorite things is the way he announces his presence. The bad guys could be in the middle of a meeting or plot, then all of a sudden, a golden card with a star on it is embedded in the ground at their feet! It’s a JP-Card, which means Janperson has arrived to kick ass and take names! One thing that’s interesting for Janperson is that he follows in the footsteps of the Special Rescue trilogy and mainly fights criminals. Occasionally he fights runaway robots or killer cyborgs, but Janperson mostly goes up against assassins, mobsters, etc. That said, though, he’s still got a crazy big arsenal to boot! Cannons, wire punches, missiles, and lots and lots of guns. No wonder he defeats four criminal organizations- he mowed them all down with his weapons!”

“Now, as for his appearance, he’s purple, which makes him stand out pretty well. He doesn’t transform so much as he throws off his civilian clothes and put a combat visor on his face. That’s it. Because....well, he’s a robot. So, he’s kind of always on duty as a result. I really love his car- the main section can split into a helicopter, while the car becomes remote-controlled and has a giant frickin’ cannon in it! Subtlety, thy name is definitely not Janperson.” 

#3 -  Choujinki Metalder

“So remember the Kikaider duology? The tale of two cyborgs fighting against evil while struggling with what it means to be artificial life? Well, Metalder is their cousin, and he’s pissed. Created by  Dr. Ryūichirō Koga as a secret weapon in WWII, and modeled after the Dr.’s dead son, Tatsuo Koga. The Doctor ends up shelving Metalder due to his pacifism, and fucks off to the United States to go work for NASA. Then, Koga’s old partner, Kunio Muraki turns super evil and becomes the wicked God Neros, who creates an empire of machines. Dr. Koga discovers this, and Neros begins working to kill him. It’s been 42 years since he hid away Metalder, and he reawakens him. Giving him the name Ryusei Tsurugi, the Doctor dies to Neros’ forces, causing Ryusei to get pissed and become Metalder for the first time.” 

“Phew! That’s a lot to talk about. Metalder is a story about revenge. During his quest to defeat the Neros Empire, Ryusei befriends many people and learns a lot about emotions, life, and the world he fights to protect. In the end, he sacrifices his humanity in order to save the world, losing his ability to fight in the process.”

“If there’s one thing I can give Metalder credit for, it’s how freakin’ brutal the fights can be. Since Metalder is a cyborg, and he fights other robots and cyborgs, there are a lot of times where gets torn open, loses a limb, etc. Likewise, his enemies get pretty beaten up, too- they don’t always die in explosions. Sometimes they just get beaten until they’re dead. While there’s plenty of your typical toku tropes- y’know, explosions, calling out your attacks, and finishers- Metalder does just enough to make itself stand out a bit more from the rest of the Metal Heroes. While a bit on the short end, it’s a good watch.”

#2 - Jikuu Senshi Spielvan

“The planet Clin is destroyed by the Waller Empire, which is searching for its deity. Two children survive and escape to Earth aboard a ship named the Grand Nasca. The two grow up during the long journey and arrive on Earth to begin fighting against Clin to make sure that the same tragedy isn’t repeated. Along the way, Spielvan searches for his missing father and sister.”

“You wanna talk about space epics? Spielvan is probably the greatest example in the franchise. Seriously, I love the opening of Spielvan just because of the epic scope of it. Spielvan did a few things for the franchise that hadn’t been done up to that point; while previous heroes had female sidekicks, they never joined them in battle. Well, that all changed with Diana Lady, who fought alongside Spielvan pretty regularly.”

“The two claims to fame that Spielvan makes after that is his signature double bladed Laser Blade, which I also took inspiration from for Kyusha! Alongside that is the arc of Spielvan coming to learn that Hellvira, one of the Waller Empire’s strongest agents, was actually his brainwashed sister! Eventually he saves her and she joins up alongside them, becoming Helen Lady. Though....her suit is just a slightly different version of Diana Lady’s. Pretty lame, right? Well, regardless, Spielvan is freakin’ awesome. But.....it doesn’t beat my absolute favorite...”

#1 - Tokkei Winspector 

“I tried. I really tried to pick something other than Winspector for my number one spot. I love Solbrain, I love Exceedraft, but I have a soft spot for the original Special Rescue Police team. They fight criminals who are a bit too much for the regular police to handle- those that use superweapons, cyborgs, or other threats to commit crimes. Atop that, they also perform rescue in situations that are a bit too delicate for firefighters or other rescue services. The team consists of one human and two robots; Ryoma Kagawa, Fire, who acts as the leader and main investigator. His two partners are Walter, a green flying robot, and Bikel, a yellow motorcycle robot who speaks with a Nagoya dialect.” 

“Honestly, everything I love about Metal Hero can be seen on display in this series. The futuristic setting, the hard sci-fi influences, the cool gadgets, the intrigue, it’s all there. And what’s even better, despite not having any monsters of the week for the first time in the franchise’s history, Winspector has a lot more room to tell compelling stories as a result. You get stuff like fighting to get a cure for a super rare snake’s venom, defending a boy from a killer cyborg condor, chasing runaway robots, or taking out mad inventors. Don’t forget that the ever great Takayuki Miyauchi sings the theme for the series, which he also does for the two sequels, Solbrain and Exceedraft. Honestly, I could talk all day about this series. What’s great is that, even today there are spiritual successors in the form of Rescue Fire and GoGoV. Definitely worth checking out if you want a bit of a change of pace.” 

Ikura claps her hands together. “Well, that’s my top 5! Maybe one day I’ll have Keiko, Yuna, or Hikaru do one of these. Wouldn’t that be fun?? Anyways, that’s enough for now. I’ve got to get back to work.” 

[imagines-never-die]

Support!reader who has a crush on cuties of your choice that are of a different class, but they're nervous about making a move because "oh I'm just a medic. I'm not nearly as impressive as they are"

(Let’s go withhh…Hanzo, D.Va, and Junkrat!)

Hanzo

Genji quietly watched as you watched Hanzo, waiting for the moment when you’d get up and actually say something to him.

“It has been a long time since someone has expressed romantic interest in my brother,” he pointed out.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it,” you sighed wistfully.

“And he often looks lonely after missions,” he continued.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed,” you mumbled, eyes still glued to the archer.

“…So!” Genji finally groaned.

“So what?” you snapped, finally turning to him.

“Go talk to him!”

“T-Talk to him?” you stuttered nervously, “No way, th-there’s no way he’d want to talk to me. Especially since he’s busy with those targets…”

“He’s always busy with targets,” Genji rolled his eyes from behind his visor, “He doesn’t need the extra practice, he just does it when he’s lonely or troubled,”

“It’s nice to watch…” you smirked a little, watching as his muscular arms drew back the bow.

“[Name!]” Genji brought you back to reality, “Why don’t you go talk to him. You’ve had this crush on him since you came to Overwatch, but you never make a move!”

“Well that’s because–I mean–he’s a sharpshooter, a sniper, a strong warrior of Overwatch! And I’m just a support unit…I hop in and out of fights to help people, relying on my teammates to protect my sorry butt…”

Genji sighed, “So you’re intimidated? Is that it?”

“…Yeah…” you admitted.

“[Name], I’m an offense unit,” he said bluntly, “You weren’t afraid to approach me,”

“Th-this is different,” you stammered, “I didn’t have a crush on you,”

“[Name], none of us think you’re a useless addition to the team. We all value our support units, especially you,” Genji explained softly, “Nobody would ever belittle you for your support status, especially Hanzo. I think he admires those who can save lives so easily,”

You shifted uncomfortably as you thought it over. It was just that grim, dead-set face Hanzo always had. He seemed like he never had time for anyone much less little support units.

“We are defined by who we are, not what we are,” Genji concluded, sounding just as zen as his master.

Taking a deep breathe, you nodded, “Ok, you’re right! I need to stop telling myself I’m not good enough! I-I just…need to go over to him…a-and say something,”

“That’s the spirit!” Genji cheered.

…

“Well go on,” he urged.

“I can’t. My feet feel like they’re stuck!” you whimpered nervously.

“Just get out there already!” Genji laughed, giving you a nudge towards his brother.

Stumbling forward, you watched the archer hit another bull’s-eye, pulling another arrow to his bow. Cautiously, you came up next to him, watching him release the arrow and hit another target in the center.

“Hello, [Name],” he said gruffly, still totally concentrated on his work, “Is there something you need?”

He looked so scary and powerful! Why were you trying to waste his time?! Aaagh! Nervously, you glanced back towards Genji for some kind of help. The cyborg just gave a little “go on” gesture.

“A-Actually…” you mumbled anxiously, “I–uh–came to watch your target practice a-and um take notes! Yeah, my…my aim really i-isn’t very good so um I mean yours is! So I thought I-I could learn a thing or–uh–two from you…I mean as long as that doesn’t bother you, you know…”

Hanzo suddenly stopped midway from grabbing another arrow. Then his eyes slowly turned toward you, looking more surprised than usual.

“You…want me to teach you?” he asked with a hopeful look in his eye.

“Ummm…” you glanced back to Genji who was nodding furiously and giving you a thumbs-up, “Y-Yes! If it’s not too much trouble!”

“Of course not,” Hanzo shook his head, picking up a practice bow and handing it to you, “I’ve noticed your aim in battle. I was hoping you would try to fix it,”

You cringed. Were you really that bad at hitting your targets?

“But I am glad you sought me out to help you,” he gave a slight smile, “I was afraid you had been avoiding me,”

“Avoiding? Heh, nah o-of course not!” you giggled.

“Support units seem to be so nervous around me,” he said in a ponderous tone, “I was beginning to worry that I had been frightening you away…”

“No, no, it’s not th-that!” you tried to tell him, “I’m shy by nature, I promise!”

He tapped his finger to his chin a few moments before saying, “Very well, let us begin with your stance,”

Your whole face grew hot as Hanzo suddenly stepped behind you, wrapping his arms around yours and guiding your hands into the right positions. Then he nudged your foot with his and instructed you to tighten your grip. You glanced back at Genji again, who looked like he was laughing from behind his visor.

D.Va

You always admired D.Va so much. She fearlessly flew into every fight with her meka, disrupting the enemy’s ranks and wreaking havoc. Then just when they thought they had taken down her meka, she’d shout “nerf this!” and blow them all to smithereens! You thought she was simply amazing and almost made you wish that you were a tank unit. But you were just a support unit, sticking back with the offense units and keeping them supplied with shields and heals.

But one day, during a really rough battle, D.Va started calling on her comm link for extra backup: things like more firepower, defense, and a support unit to keep her going. No other supports responded, so you were the one to answer her call and move to the front lines. It was scary as all hell up there, explosions and bullets flying, yet Hana kept her cool like it was another day at the arcade!

“Thanks for coming to help guys! Their snipers are really annoying but their offense won’t let me get close to them! Could you guys keep their offense busy?” she explained, then turned to you, “And [Name], could you pocket heal me? My meka’s gonna fall apart without your heals!”

“U-Uh–yes! Yes ma’am!” you piped almost like a robot.

“Hee hee!!” Hana snorted, “Who’s ma’am? I’m D.Va, silly!”

You felt a little blush form on your face as she laughed her bubbly laugh.

“R-Right, D.Va…” you muttered.

“Let’s mooove out!” she cheered excitedly, taking off with her boosters.

Somehow you were able to keep up, steadily healing her as she disrupted the snipers, disarming them and booping them out of their nests. It was really hard at times; sometimes her meka’s health would go dangerously low even as you healed her all you could. But luckily, her meka never got wrecked…well until she wrecked it herself.

“Snipers eliminated!” she reported happily into her comm link, then looked back to you, “Watch this, [Name]!”

With that, she boosted her meka into the air, ejecting at the last second and sending it into self-destruct mode. It turned into a big ball of light, soaring through the air and eventually landing in the enemy base with a KABOOM! You watched awe-struck as the whole sky lit up and the base flew into a thousand pieces.

“Woohoo! Bonus points!” Hana cheered.

“That was amazing…” you breathed.

“Yeah, I guess it was,” she shrugged, “But I couldn’t have done it without you, [Name]. Your healing was what really kept me going!”

You blushed again, staring down at your shoes bashfully, “I mean, I wasn’t that great. Nothing different from what I usually do…”

“Hey!” she grinned, taking you by the hand and leading you back to your own base, “Do you wanna hang out sometime?”

“H…Hang out?” you couldn’t believe someone as famous and strong as D.Va was asking you to “hang out!”

“Uh-huh, you know that thing that people do when they wanna spend more time with each other?” she chuckled at you.

Your expression slowly dropped, remembering your place.

“But…you’re a tank unit, and I’m a support unit…” you mumbled.

“Yeah? Why is that important?” she shrugged.

“Because I’m just a support unit,” you admitted, “Don’t you want to hang out with someone cooler like another tank or attack unit?”

“Nope!” she smiled, “I wanna hang out with you, [Name]! Units don’t matter! They’re just dumb, stuffy titles,”

With that she slung an arm over your shoulder and pulled you close, making you stiffen up. You were so close to her! She smelled like bubblegum and new car…

“So what do you want to do? We could play video games or go to the arcade or go shopping–ooh! Do you like ice cream? I know this great place that gives me free…”

She’d be talking all the way back to base.

Junkrat

“Oi! I need healin’!” “Where’s my heals?” “Oi! Healer, over here!”

Why did you have to fall for a guy who treated supports like servants? Why did he only ever call you “Healer” or “Doc?” He was so tall and lanky, yet muscle-y at the same time, with a cute laugh and an outgoing attitude. Junkrat was everything you looked for in a guy, despite your friends saying you were crazy for it.

But you never once made a move. It always seemed like an arsonist would never have any time for a support unit, especially when he seemed to think they were so unimportant to the team. A lot of the other support units would get bad at him for his rude tone around him. They’d punish him with a smack on the head or a “no heal” policy for at least one battle. Some supports had given up on healing him altogether–he was the one who’d accidentally drop grenades on himself, after all.

But you just couldn’t keep yourself from healing him. It meant you got to admire him up close…even if you never said anything to him. Sometimes he’d even give you a little “Thanks, mate!” But as far as you were concerned, Jamison would never like a support unit. It wasn’t until the end of one of your missions that you were proven wrong.

“Hooly dooly, that was some fight!” Junkrat marveled at the wreckage as his hair smoked.

“No kidding,” you huffed as you tried to catch your breath, “I thought for sure we were gonna lose the point,”

“Same! We were the only ones on it!” he laughed, “I kept waitin’ for them to punt me off, but you kept me goin’!”

“Oh, yeah whatever,” you shrugged as you flopped down on the ground exhausted, “Well you did all the hard work,”

“Me? You were the one dodgin’ all those bullets and givin’ me all them buffs!” he pointed out as he sat down next to you, “I wouldn’t’ve been able to hold the point if it weren’t for you!”

A small blush crept its way onto your face, but you quickly shook your head and waved your hand dismissively.

“No, I wouldn’t have survived it if it weren’t for you blowing up anyone who came close to me.”

Seriously. Any flanker who’d try to sneak up on you would get a “Not my healer, you bitch!” from Junkrat.

“Well at least we can admit we work well together, eh?” he chuckled.

“Sure…” you mumbled bashfully, “Why not?”

“Eh c’mon, why ya hidin’ yer face now?” he smirked as he took your chin and gently guided it toward him.

“I-I’m not!” you squeaked in shock.

You hadn’t expected him to do that! His fingers felt all sooty and calloused…

“Yeah you are!” he sang.

“Sh-shut up…” you pouted, pulling away.

“Oi, why can’t ya just accept the complement?” he whined.

You crossed your arms, “Because I know you don’t mean it. You don’t care about support units in the slightest, Jamison,”

“The hell I do!” he retorted, “Well, only the good ones, that is,”

You gave him a glare and he put up his hands in defense, “I get it, I get it, you support-y types don’t like me. But you’re one of the only good ones on the team! You actually heal me and stick by me unlike all the other pricks who up and leave me for being ‘rude.’”

“But you, [Name], you’re a healer I can lean on!” he grinned, “ya’ve never let me down! That’s what I like about you!”

That’s what he…liked about you? Your face went red as you processed his words, looking like you had seen a giant spider.

“So…you don’t hate support units?” you asked.

“Hate ‘em? Nah!” he cackled, wrapping an arm around your waist and pulling you close to him, “Just drongos who don’t give me the time of day!”

Slowly, a smile appeared on your lips as you melted into him, letting him hold you closer. Jamison was a prickly guy and hard to get close to, and you always thought you’d never get very far with him, but all that time you had spent around him had been one big step towards knowing the real him.

–Mod Sirana