#carolyn shepherd

[anewkindofme]

Happy Mother’s Day, by both biology and choice

[tinylittleshepherd]

Runaway Train by me. I finally posted a new chapater after about a year. It’s been a long road but there’s still plently more to come eventually.

Please head the trigger warnings in each chapter.

Can also be found on A03 & wattpad.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32038426/chapters/116591044 

https://www.wattpad.com/1331854106-runaway-train-choices/page/3/comment/1331854106__1680876431_74d64318e9 

[chicleeblair]

Uncomfortably Numb [23/?]||FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd, Lexie Grey/Mark Sloan

Meredith isn't the only Grey to make it home alive after the plane crash. How does Lexie's survival affect everyone else's recovery? With Mark gone and returning to the O.R. as a surgeon an unlikelihood in her uncertain future, can Lexie really say she's survived?

Full: AO3||FFN

[horsetailcurlers2]

hi hello! sorry this is extremely random but you literally have the best analysis! a friend and i were talking about derek shepherd and the way his trauma affected him throughout his life. something along the lines of how his trauma compares to amelia. he tries to save everyone (falling in love with broken women) and how amelia destroys herself. and i was wondering if you had any thoughts about that? :)

hi! and omg thank you that’s very nice considering i feel like most of my analyses are just me word vomiting incoherently in an empty room and scratching at the walls lmao.

okay i will try to do my best here but i don’t know how much sense this will make or if i have anything new or interesting to say. i don’t really consider myself a derek expert (NOT that i consider myself an addison expert or anything but i do spend considerably more time thinking about her than i do about him). but YES you’re so right

something that i think is interesting is that we get a lot more direct focus on amelia’s trauma than we do derek’s. maybe that’s just the byproduct of her struggle with addiction or maybe it’s because private practice was often a lot more character focused than grey’s. i also think, at the risk of sounding uncharitable towards meredith (whom i adore with all my heart) that a lot of times on the show, his issues take a backseat to hers- although that may also just be a deliberate choice on his part or because its her fucking show lol. but  i find it interesting that he is vulnerable about her but rarely ever vulnerable with her.

i find the shepherd family dynamic endlessly fascinating and i especially think a lot about the idea of derek and amelia being the two out of the flock that were so directly impacted by their father's death. the math on grey’s is sloppy at best but it’s stated a few times that amelia was five years old. i think derek may have said he was eleven but that gets contradicted so i always just placed him between eleven and thirteen.

before i get into derek specifically i want to talk about amelia bc i love your point about the comparison/contrast of them in the wake of that shared trauma. i think that honestly the driving factor for her addiction wasn’t necessary the shooting itself, but the aftermath. amelia shepherd really pokes at my Little Sister Syndrome and i think her conversation with carolyn after the fake husband dinner was especially telling. amelia frequently describes her mom as “the best/great” (addison describes carolyn as a great mom too iirc) but after christopher’s death, carolyn was not as attentive to amelia as she was to her other children. that combined with amelia being the youngest with such a large age gap makes me think she had a pretty isolated childhood. there was a sort of disconnect from her siblings who were much older, her mother was changed by grief, and her father was gone. for a huge chunk of her adolescence, most of amelia’s family was already moved out of the house. not that i don't think the shooting itself or the trauma of losing her father had a big impact on her but i think a lot of her issues stem from feeling abandoned by the rest of her family. i think her addiction resurfaces when she feels most alone/abandoned. i think that a part of her is trying to avoid feeling the depth of her loneliness and a part of her is trying to be loud and take up space a) so that the people in her life will notice her b) like she couldn’t that day in the store with derek’s hand over her mouth. 

derek on the other hand, was old enough to be cognizant and understanding of what was happening that day in the store. he 100% felt a responsibility to protect his little sister and i also think he felt extremely powerless that he couldn’t save his father. obviously derek has a bit of a god complex but he also does have a savior complex. 

he protected amelia by keeping her quiet. i think that’s actually a big part of it (for both of them). also idk how to articulate this well and i’m no psychologist but derek only likes his women broken to a certain extent. i think he likes to be needed but he doesn't want them to be needy. he doesn't like when it’s not something he can fix with some immediacy (the powerlessness again) and his discomfort with being unable to fix it makes him lash out and withdraw. he liked saving meredith, until her trauma deeply affected how she behaved in the relationship. he liked (and this part is 80% assumption and conjecture from my addek brain) being able to soothe the wounds from addison’s childhood (her loneliness and feelings of inadequacy) until her “neediness” started to feel cloying and almost accusatory. 

so imo derek likes to save people, until they are too difficult to save. it's established that he is VERY black and white, which is why he thrives in brain surgery which has finite rules and steps he can follow in order to save people’s lives and bring relief to their families. he's good at surgery. its where he turns when he's feeling lost in his personal life. the guy clearly has some control issues. conversely, when things are going poorly at work (i.e jen harmon), he doubts EVERYTHING about himself and his choices bc the one thing he can always control is destabilized. 

i think that derek gets angry when he feels guilty which ties back to him lashing out and withdrawing when he can't fix something/someone. I think this is a huge component of his tension with amelia. he is extremely judgmental of her struggles with addiction, and he (like their other siblings) has trouble separating Adult Amelia from Teen Amelia. maybe a part of him has always felt like her addiction was his fault. like, if he had shielded her better, she would have less pain (which isn't true). so while on the surface, it seems like maybe he is just harsh on her because he is tired of her shit and still angry about the chaos she caused before she went to rehab the first time, a lot of it i think is actually resentment/anger because he feels guilty (and again, anger/moodiness is how derek reacts to guilt).

its an oversimplification, but i think what a lot of it boils down to is little preteen derek with his arms wrapped around his baby sister, holding his breath and needing to use both his hands to keep her still and quiet, and it has to do with her watching her father’s blood on the floor and being unable to scream. of course there's also the aftermath (amelia’s loneliness and how much grief she had to fit in such a small body, derek’s guilt, anger, and the horrible feeling that he's somehow now “the man of the house”)

idk this isn't well organized and certainly not as articulate as it could’ve been but god i do love thinking about the derek and amelia of it all. tysm for the ask. srry for the long-winded answer :)

[cianmarstoo]

fuck it friday

cause i got distracted before i could post this on wednesday hahaha so here's a look at the family dinner party with Amelia and Carolyn Shepherd visiting the family in Seattle, with Meredith acting all perky, and Alex having undiagnosed adhd

Alex fidgeted in his seat at the dining table, it was done up with a tablecloth, and candles which he’d been told multiple times he wasn’t allowed to touch, and had now been moved fully away from him. The table was completely full, both with chairs around the table, with people, and with food filling up the table.  His mommy was still smiling looking very weird: it wasn’t her usual smile, he liked his mommy’s normal smile, and how she would usually roll her eyes, and joke and talk, but now she was talking all… high and too happy, and giggling, and agreeing with everything his Grammy said, it was just… wrong. It wasn’t his mommy.   There was also some gross fish on the table taking his attention. His daddy had tried to encourage him to have some, telling him the salmon would be good for his brain, but had given up when Alex had made barfing noises. So instead his plate had been loaded up with some of the pasta and meatballs and garlic bread. Jackson and April both had some of both the salmon and the pasta.  He pulled his tongue out as April ate some salmon.  “It’s yummy, Alex,” she insisted, “and it’s so-fiscal-rated.” “It’s gross.” “This one’s nice,” Jackson told him diplomatically, “an’ uncle Derek maked it, you like uncle Derek’s cookin’.” “Nuh uh, he maked salad and yucky broccoli,” Alex protested, “only spastgetti good.” April glared at him, “That’s ‘cause you’re a baby.” “No I’m not!” “You’re babier than me.” “He’s not a baby,” Jackson frowned at her, “that’s not nice April.” “He is littler than me and you though,” she protested, her cheeks were now bright pink and burning.  “You’re eatin’ Nemo!” “NO I AM NOT! YOU’RE A DUMB BABY!” Alex didn’t bother with words: He didn’t like how everyone was acting weird, Mark and Owen were acting nervous, his mommy was broken, his Grammy was frowning at his mommy like she didn’t understand her, and even his daddy was being weird, he kept looking at Amelia who was trying to avoid looking at him, which was weird because Alex liked her a lot- she was good at building towers and good at making them fall, which made her one of Alex’s new favourite people.  Then there was April, calling Alex a dumb baby.  That was the breaking point.  Alex didn’t bother with words.  He grabbed one of the meatballs from his plate and threw it at April, hitting her on the face.  Everyone fell silent. “Al-” April picked up some of her salmon, throwing it at her cousin across the table, but Alex ducked down, and the salmon hit Jackson.  Jackson didn’t hesitate, throwing salad at both April and Alex.  Before any of the adults could do anything the three littles started to throw food across the table, hitting each other and the adults at the table. Their dads all tried to say their names to get them to stop, but they were all ignored. “Stop this, right now!” 

tagging @anewkindofme and @alessiankarev and literally anyone else who wants to do it!

[drreporting]

What if Amelia’s family came to the wedding?

When Amelia walked into her wedding reception, she was simply happy to see her family gathered together to celebrate her special day. She couldn’t wait to dance, laugh, and catch up with her sisters Nancy, Kate, and Liz, as well as her mother, Carolyn.

But as the night went on, Amelia realized that her family had other plans. They were determined to remind her of the moment she almost ditched Owen at the altar and use it as a pressure point in almost every conversation.

Nancy was the first to bring it up, casually mentioning it in a conversation about the weather.

“Remember how it was pouring rain on your wedding day, Amelia? Almost like the universe was trying to tell you something,” she said with a smirk.

Amelia rolled her eyes and tried to brush off the comment, but Kate couldn’t resist chiming in.

“Yeah, and then you ran off and left Owen standing there like a sad puppy. I’m surprised he still wanted to marry you after that,” she said, causing the table to erupt in laughter.

Amelia felt her face flush with embarrassment. She had been struggling with her addiction at the time and it had caused her to make a rash decision. But she had worked through it and she and Owen were stronger than ever.

Liz, the youngest of the sisters, joined in on the teasing.

“And let’s not forget how you were about to leave Seattle without even telling anyone. Poor Owen had to chase you down at the airport. How romantic,” she said sarcastically, raising her glass of champagne.

Carolyn, who had been quiet up until this point, couldn’t resist adding her two cents.

“I have to say, I was very disappointed in you, Amelia. I raised you better than that. Leaving a man at the altar is just not something a Shepherd woman does,” she scolded.

Amelia had had enough. She stood up from the table, her fists clenched in anger.

“That’s enough. I made a mistake, a big one. But I’ve apologized to Owen and we’ve moved on. It’s time for all of you to do the same,” she said firmly.

Her family was taken aback by her outburst, but they could see the pain in her eyes. They all apologized to Amelia and she could see the genuine remorse in their faces.

As the night went on, Amelia was able to let go of the hurt and enjoy her wedding reception with her family. But she couldn’t help but feel a little disappointed that they had used such a vulnerable moment in her life as a weapon in their conversations.

[mattmurdocksthighs]

MEET MY OCs

FROM MISC SHOWS [OC MASTERLIST]

NAME: amelia avery thompson SHOW: outerbanks LOVE INTEREST: rafe cameron FACECLAIM: fivel stewart

NAME: astraea collins / astraea simmons SHOW: criminal minds LOVE INTERESTS: darren wilson (oc), matt simmons OCCUPATION: military sniper, bau profiler FACECLAIM: elizabeth olsen

NAME: juliet carolyn shepherd SHOW: grey's anatomy LOVE INTERESTS: jackson avery, arizona robbins, carina deluca, alex karev OCCUPATION: neurosurgeon FACECLAIM: adelaide kane (faceclaim before she joined greys)

NAME: lady dove SHOW: merlin LOVE INTEREST: sir leon FACECLAIM: sarah gadon

NAME: bianca stirling SHOW: pretty little liars LOVE INTEREST: jason dilaurentis FACECLAIM: leighton meester

NAME: bradley stirling SHOW: pretty little liars LOVE INTEREST: FACECLAIM: james lafferty

NAME: marin quinn SHOW: yellowjackets LOVE INTEREST: lottie matthews OCCUPATION: lawyer FACECLAIM: mila kunis

NAME: tara scott / tara winchester SHOW: supernatural LOVE INTEREST: dean winchester, meg masters, sam winchester OCCUPATION: hunter FACECLAIM: jessica alba

NAME: stephanie 'steph' kane SHOW: the 100 LOVE INTEREST: john murphy FACECLAIM: chloe bennett

NAME: felicity allen, kid flash SHOW: titans LOVE INTEREST: jason todd POWERS: superspeed FACECLAIM: katie douglas

[brooklynislandgirl]

10 Fandoms / 10 Characters / 10 Tags

Tagged By: my loves @kylo-wrecked and @tangleweave Tagging: Anyone who feels like they need one more Sunday this weekend.

~*~*~*~

I. Marvel: Beta-Ray Bill, Eddie Brock/Venom, Doctor Strange, Phil Coulson, Vision, Groot, Spider-Man {Peter Parker}, Gambit, Doctor Morbius, Bucky Barnes. M'Baku {Hate the moniker of 'Man-Ape'}. Magneto. Loki. Night Crawler. Frank "Punisher" Castle. Colossus. Danny "Iron Fist" Rand. Foggy Nelson. Ghost Rider {Both Johnny Blaze and Robbie Reyes, "Caretaker" Carter Slade}. I know that's more than 10. Whatever, I do what I want. >.> II. DC: Lex Luthor, Nanaue {King Shark}, Martian Man Hunter, John Constantine, The Joker, Jonathan Crane, Morpheus {Dream of the Endless}, Death of the Endless, Harley Quinn, Poison Ivy, Bane, Swamp Thing, Green Lantern. Cisco Ramon. Hunter Zoloman.

I absolutely blame @nightmarefuele for at least two of these.

III. Star Wars: Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader. Admiral Piett. Kylo Ren. Wedge Antilles. Kit Fisto. Han Solo. Chewbacca. Jocasta Nu. Darth Rivan {not to be confused with Darth Revan}. Jos Vondar. Jango and Boba Fett, and of course, all my 10,000,000,000 Clone children. No I will not be taking questions.

IV. Star Trek: Worf, Martok, Gowron, Chancellor Gorkon, Kurn, Dr McCoy, Uhura, Sulu, Chekhov, Chris Pike, Ortegas, Nurse Chapel, Geordie La Forge, Riker, Data, Lore, Chief O'Brien, Q, Benjamin Cisco, Garak, Gul Dukat, Quark. V. Firefly: Mal Reynolds, Jayne Cobb, Hobun Washburne, Zoe Washburne, Shepherd Book, Kaylee Frye, YoSafBridge, Adalai Niska, Badger, Jubal Early Take my life, take my land, take me where I cannot stand. I don't care 'cause I'm still free, you can't take the sky from me. {{My coat has always been a little...brownish.}

VI. The Walking Dead: Shane Walsh, Daryl and Merle Dixon, Michonne Hawthorne, Abraham Ford, Glenn Rhee, The Governor, Bob Stookey, Ezekiel, Dwight, Aaron, Morgan Jones. VII. Justified: Raylan, Boyd, Ava, Art, Rachel, Tim, Dewey Crowe, Johnny Crowder, Loretta McCready, Robert Quarles, Ellstin Limehouse, Mags Bennett, Devil, Jean Baptiste, Boon, Willa, Carolyn, Sweety... oh so many. VIII. Yellowstone: John, Jamie, Beth, Kayce Dutton, Rip Wheeler, Jimmy Hurdstrom, Thomas Rainwater, Mo Brings Plenty, Lloyd, Colby, Teeter, Jake, Ethan, Angela Blue Thunder, Malcolm Beck. IX. Law & Order- Alphabet Soup: Captain Cragen, Lenny Briscoe, Mike Logan, Anita Van Buren, Jack McCoy. Rey Curtis, Ed Green, Arthur Branch, Cyrus Lupo, Kevin Bernard, Frank Cosgrove, Jalen Shaw. Elliot Stabler, Olivia Benson, Odafin Tutuola, John Munch, Chester Lake, Melinda Warner, Amanda Rollins, Rafael Barba, Dominick Carisi, Peter Stone, Bobby Goran. I have seen literally every episode of the American Law & Order franchise Original, SVU, CI, OC, etc...with the first three watched multiple times. While I often wouldn't call it my most favourite show...it's probably my most favourite shows.

X. The Lord of the Rings: Boromir and Faramir, Éomer and Éowyn, Theoden King, Theodred, Gimli, Pippin, Sam, Meriadoc, Fangorn {Treebeard}, Beorn, Celebrimbor, Bard the Bowman, Dwalin, Celeborn, Denethor, Gil-Galad king, Fingolfin, The Watcher in the Water, Maedhros, Finwe, Manwe...and I could go on for years. My first true fandom as we know it {probably Arthurian Legend was my first and truest fictional love}, and one I have been faithful to for over 25 years. Honestly never please talk to me about it, because I have rabid opinions about literally everything. And lastly, I only included tv/movies here because books and rpgs would require an entire three or four Long Ass Posts all of their own. Much Love.

[ginnyrules27]

Got any unused scenes to snippet or back burner projects/unfinished or unrealized one shots?

Hmm...I got a couple of back-burner projects that I began writing a while back. I should have some snippet there lol :D

Mirabel shook her head. She didn’t want to think about that. She only wanted to know why she didn’t get a gift. 

Did she do something wrong? Was it because she wiped her hands on her dress? Camilo didn’t wipe his hands so did she wipe off the magic of the candle? 

But no one would say what she did wrong. All papa had said was that it wasn’t her fault and that the family still loved her, gift or no gift. 

But if that was the case, they’d be here with her in the nursery. Isa would make all sorts of pretty flowers bloom and Dolores would make her giggle by telling her what one of the neighbors did and Lusia would take her on a flight by lifting her bed up with Mirabel in it and walking around the casita. 

-Untitled Encanto/Descendants crossover (currently 466 words)

“A room full of royals looking their nose down at us because our dad’s a basketball coach and our mom’s a vice principal and we live in Wisconsin,” Maddie finished. “Does not sound like my idea of a good time. Though I do have to wonder why mom and dad didn’t send us to Auradon Prep.” 

“Because they don’t have a basketball program and I’m not losing my star player for no reason!” Their dad’s voice called from the kitchen. 

“Knew they were eavesdropping on us,” the other boy in the room chuckled. 

“Hey, it’s better than them calling a family meeting, right Joey?” Maddie asked. 

“Ooh, good point.” 

Liv rolled her eyes. “Will you two hush?! The royal carriage is going to be seen any moment!” 

“Yeah…you do know Prince Ben is a: completely out of your league and b: has a girlfriend right?” Maddie asked. 

“I don’t care about him! I want to see what gown his new girlfriend’s going to be wearing! Think about it Maddie, we’re about to be shown what the kids of the Isle wear for formal events, nothing like this has ever been done before!” Liv squealed before groaning. “Oh I wish we were there!” 

“So you’ve said, about a million times,” Maddie sighed as she tossed a basketball up and down. “Liv, when will you give up this dream about attending royal events? I mean yeah you were on Sing it Loud—.” 

-Untitled Liv and Maddie/Descendants crossover (currently 1210 words)

Morgan, though, had insisted that the doctor was ‘Daddy’s twin’ as only a four-year-old could reason. So Robert had gone to the hospital and met with the Dr. Derek Shepherd and explained what was happening. Derek had, of course, agreed to a DNA test to answer the question if they were twins; never even batting an eye that the request seemed to come from a four-year-old. 

After a few weeks waiting for the results, they were both stunned to find that Morgan had been right—Robert and Derek were twins. 

Of course, Derek had immediately called his mother to ask how he had a long lost twin brother also living in New York City. Mrs. Shepherd had seemed reluctant but had finally admitted the truth. That when Derek was born, he’d been born a twin. However at the time, they couldn’t afford five children and the Phillip family had been friends of their’s however they couldn’t conceive a chid. So while they were loathed to do it, to separate the twin boys, Carolyn Shepherd and her husband had to make the choice of what was best for Robert, Derek, and their girls. 

It had taken a bit of getting used to, the idea that he had a family in the city that he never knew about, but Robert and Derek had quickly developed a relationship once the awkward phase was done. 

-Untitled Enchanted/Grey's Anatomy fanfiction (currently 2316 words)

And still suppressing the urge to write on the backburner either the 911/Descendants crossover or a Grey's Anatomy/Descendants crossover...or both if it's in some weird universe where no one from the Isle has to tell Beast and Belle what's going on on the Isle and the team from Grey's is sent to set up the hospital with the 118/126 acting as muscle for the doctors (Grey's is on ABC which is owned by Disney so it can still be in universe...and China's sister is on 911: Lone Star so I'm counting that as part of the Descendants universe. Also Disney owns Fox now so there's that)

[anewkindofme]

Tagged by the fabulous @pimento-playing-hopscotch!

Here's a look at Day 5 of Whumptober. Derek hosts a Shepherd family reunion at his house. Jackson is not having a fun time. A bit of a warning for sensory overload.

---

Jackson bites down on his lip. The arguing twists his stomach. Usually, banter doesn’t bother him, but between the other loud noises, it grates on him.

“Jackson’s in plastics, just like Mark,” Carolyn says as if her daughters aren’t arguing.

“I know, Ma, I work at the hospital.”

Carolyn wrinkles her nose. “I was talking to your sister. She doesn’t get to spend as much time with your nephew as you.”

“Because I’m the favorite aunt.”

Amelia flashes Jackson a smirk. He tries to match it, but his lips tremble. Amelia tilts her head, observing him for a moment. Jackson’s fingers twitch. He’s got a fidget in his pocket, but he isn’t about to take it out in front of Carolyn and Nancy.

“Jack, do you want to get a soda?” Amelia asks.

“Littles can’t have caffeine,” Nancy cuts in. She looks at Jackson. “We can get you a water? Or I think Lizzie watered down some juice for the little ones…”

“Mark said he can have a little soda,” Amelia interrupts with an eye roll. She turns back to her nephew. “I know for a fact Derek got rootbeer.”

“I…I’m good,” Jackson catches his stutter under Carolyn and Nancy’s careful gaze.

Liz approaches them, holding a thick paper plate. It’s loaded up with just about one of everything from the buffet-style meal set out. Jackson catches a closer whiff of the grilled fish Derek made. Knowing Alex and Jackson's food aversions, his uncle was careful to make it separately. Now, Jackson can’t avoid it.

“Are you two ganging up on Amy again?” Liz asks, poking her fork into the plate.

“I’m making sure she doesn’t sugar up our nephew,” Nancy says. “She was about to give him caffeine.”

Amelia throws her arms in the air. “Jesus Christ, Nance, soda. It was a soda. I understand your children live a sad, beige diet. Our nephew does not.”

---

No pressure tag: @the-flaming-nightmare, @cianmarstoo, @laneybishop89 & @actualalligator

[tinylittleshepherd]

cute choatic little Merder/Shepherd family Christmas fic to get you all in the mood. 

[chicleeblair]

Dawn of Redeeming Grace [23/23]

Title: Chapter 23: Somewhere Only We Know || FFN

Rating: NC-17/Explicit

Pairings: Meredith Grey/Derek Shepherd

Six weeks after Derek left to take the NIH job, Meredith is ready to use the holidays to prove she has this working mom thing on lock. Sure, he neglected to tell her he'd be bringing a guest, but whatever, 'Tis the season for truces. Even Ellis Grey took the day off. But with every moment of family togetherness, a return to the trenches seems more impossible. Can a few days of peace put their relationship back on track, or has she fallen for the illusion of a snow-globe, destined to either settle or shatter?

Dawn of Redeeming Grace|| FFN

Dancing on a ferryboat. When I started writing this, I was determined to make it as Mer/Der as I could, and I think that’s the peak. Getting them there in season eleven was a challenge, but it was fun. I’m really proud of this fic, and I hope you’ve all enjoyed it—

So far. 

Originally, this fic had an epilogue. It was my first venture into recent-Grey’s, except for Beginning to Feel the Years and I was writing in 2022, while Mer was still in Minnesota, and there was a Christmas episode I hadn’t watched. I decided to set it pre-Covid, which puts us right around the insurance fraud case. Long story short, the short story went long. The epilogue became a companion. It’s three parts that will post on Fridays, starting next week. 

Back to this chapter. I really don’t think that “what happened to you” can be gone over enough. Both Ellis saying it and Derek repeating it, with that little freaking gasp, like he’s never imagined she could be the person he’s seeing. Ugh. It’s just like the stairwell, and it’s all why Meredith was so afraid of intimacy. Because someone who knows you can do more than stab you. Their venom can stay in your body, just like Granny Shepherd said.

These two have things to work on—Derek’s coming home two months earlier than he did in canon. But I think this is possibly more solid. The one thing I like about the freakin’ Renee Collier thing is that it’s a parallel with, say, 2x03 where Meredith kisses him, and says “hating you is the most exhausting,” and it doesn’t make his decision. In going home right then, he proves it. So, I can forgive Meredith letting everything be water under the whatever—for then— to jump him.

Which she also does when he builds a gazebo in a day, which I contend is as realistic a timeline as anything that happens in a day in this freakng show.

[mcprodigal]

" A golden cage is still, just a cage. "

#MCPRODIGAL, { original character. }

Private / Mutually Exclusive, Original Character Hope Shepherd from the Greys Anatomy Universe. Blog is mostly based on the show but often takes ideas and diverges into au's and runs ten miles in every direction on five different tracks. (i.e. very chaotic). Low activity, penned by Tink, 27, GMT. SIDE BLOG TO: Sacredslaycd. All rules can be found there, bio is available under the cut.

         a study in: growing up too fast, the loss of innocence fighting with your demons, self sacrifice, finding your place in the world, the black sheep, the overachiever, living with anxiety, growing up in your siblings shadows.

MEMES, HEADCANONS.

GENERAL,

NAME. Hope Shepherd. ALIAS. n/a AGE. 28 (start of residency), dependant on verse. BIRTHPLACE. New York. BIRTHDATE. May 18th 1981. SEXUALITY. Bisexual. RESIDENCE. Seattle.

PERSONALITY, POSITIVE. Compassionate, Friendly, Humble. NEUTRAL. Sarcastic, Anxious, Competitive. NEGATIVE. Impatient, Impulsive, Stubborn. LIKES. Running, Nature, Reading. FEARS. Thunderstorms, Failing, Ending up alone. ACHILLIES HEEL / WEAKNESS. Desire to be loved, Family, Her own insecurities / need to prove herself and that she's good enough.

PHYSICAL, HEIGHT. 5"4. EYES. Blue. MANE. Dark Brown. AESTHETIC. Casual. FACE. Margaret Qualley. EXTRA.

RELATIONSHIPS, MOTHER. Carolyn Shepherd. FATHER. Mr Shepherd (Deceased). SIBLINGS. Kathleen Shepherd (Sister, Older) , Liz Shepherd (Sister, Older), Nancy Shepherd (Sister, Older), Amelia Shepherd (Sister, Older), Derek Shepherd (Brother, Elder), Meredith Grey (Sister-in-law), Addison Montgomery (Sister-in-law). OTHER. Zola Shepherd (Adoptive Niece), Bailey Shepherd (Nephew), Ellis Shepherd (Niece), Lucas Shepherd (Nephew), Scout Shepherd (Nephew).

EARLY LIFE,

Being a mere new-born when her father dies, only a few months old and so far apart in age from her other siblings, her mother struggling to cope after her husbands death, Hope falls through the cracks. Carolyn tries her best to provide the infant with everything she needs but everybody struggles with the baby who’s piercing cries seem to invade the shepherd home in an already grief stricken time.

This causes Carolyn struggles to bond with the young girl at such an important time for them both. Later in life Hope would become highly dependant from a young age and becomes somewhat resentful towards her mother and siblings for the lack of relationship she has with them. As a teenager, Hope goes through a highly self destructive phase, almost getting herself kicked out of school, getting into fights, being generally disruptive both at school and home and once even getting herself arrested for shoplifting. It also wasn't uncommon to find her drinking or smoking a joint with a friend, though she never touched anything harder.

This part of her life puts both her mother and siblings through hell which drives them further apart. After this, Hope ends up getting a job at a local bar, just collecting glasses at first and slowly working up to bartending as she gets older. She moves out as soon as she finds the money for a flat deposit. She slowly becomes closer to Amelia as she finds out about her own destructive tendencies, even being younger, wanting to be a support system for her. As Amelia becomes a doctor, Hope begins to look up to her and, by default, Derek, even more and decides that she herself wants to follow that path.

BIOGRAPHY, Being away from her family was lonely, having nobody to turn to or talk to. Hope had always been the black sheep of the family and it's better than being treated as such, of them believing she couldn't change enough to pursue her dreams or perhaps even thinking she's not capable of it. More than anything, she wants to prove to herself and them that she'd good enough, good enough to get in on her own merit and not because of her connections or families money.

Being behind, Hope takes an extra two years of classes after school before putting herself through medical school. Things with her family fall on the quiet side as she does so, working two jobs outside of school just to support herself through it, not wanting to ask her mother for money and wanting to prove to them all she could do it on her own. She later applies for an internship at Seattle Grace, knowing it's one of the best of the country having the likes of Ellis Grey working there in the past. She has no idea that Derek works there, thinking that he was still in New York.

[shepdangelo]

— BASICS

Name: Sheperd "Shep" Jonathan D’Angelo Age / D.O.B: 42. September 3rd, 1982 Gender, Pronouns & Sexuality: Cis male, he/him, heterosexual Hometown: Los Angeles, California Affiliation: Law Enforcement Job position: Homicide Detective with the NYPD Education: Graduated high school and the Police Academy Relationship status: Widower Children: Lorelai (25) and Jillian (11) Positive traits: Compassionate, honest, patient, reliable Negative traits: Dogmatic, stubborn, tense, sacrificial

— BIOGRAPHY

Trigger warnings: Infertility tw, miscarriage tw, death tw

Shepherd Jonathan D’Angelo was the first child born to Carolyn and John “Monty” D’Angelo, born in sunny Los Angeles. As the oldest of two children, Shep quickly became a third parent for his younger sister, ensuring she carried out her duties around the house and cleaning up after her if she didn’t. After all, even though he was the more responsible of the two, the last thing he wanted was for her to get into any kind of trouble. The family was tight-knit, Shep looking up to both of his parents, but especially his father, who he considered – and still does – a hero.

It was clear from a very young age that he held the most interest in following in his father’s footsteps, but it wasn’t the only motivation for his decision to join the police force. He could recall turning on the television at 8 years old to see the evidence of corruption amongst the LAPD, especially in the midst of the Rodney King trial, and vowing to be a part of the change the institution needed to be a force for good again. He would shadow his dad whenever he could, insisting on helping him brainstorm on cases where he was stuck, so he could hone his skills. His mother cautioned him not to grow up too quickly and to live in the moment as a teenager, but it wasn’t until Michelle Deacon came into his life that he felt the desire to do so.

Michelle had skipped a grade after her family moved to the area, placing her in many of the same classes as him. She was an Air Force brat, having moved to nearly as many different towns in as many years as she'd been alive, but it seemed as though they intended to stay in the area for a while this time around and she'd finally felt comfortable enough to start making friends. With their last names being so close together, they'd been seated next to each other since the 5th grade, but he had never truly taken notice of her as anything more than a friend until freshman year of high school. The two of them grew closer and they went on a few dates, but before he could ever officially ask her to be his girlfriend, his father broke the news: they were going to be moving to his hometown of New York City.

Although the teens were being separated, they vowed to keep in contact, which is exactly what they did for all of senior year. They never explicitly said they were an item, but their letters and phone calls late into the night said enough. Following graduation, Michelle began attending NYU, Shep enrolled in the police academy, and the two moved in together shortly after that. Things were starting to feel right in his world – until a little pink plus sign on a pregnancy test nearly derailed the train.

The two had talked about having a family one day, but they had expected to be settled in their careers by the time that happened. After many conversations (and more than one lecture from his parents for not using proper protection), the two decided to proceed with the pregnancy and welcomed their daughter Lorelai into the world a few months later, named after Michelle’s great grandmother. They managed to juggle the responsibilities of being new parents with their studies and once they both had graduated, he proposed to Michelle, the two getting married a little over a year later with Lorelai as their flower girl.

He worked his way up the ranks, refusing promotions if he felt he hadn’t earned it and was simply being offered it because of his name. He never wanted to be handed anything in his career if only so he could prove himself capable to himself, but also to be a man his wife and child could be proud of. He made detective after nearly ten years of hard work and about that much time of the couple attempting to have more children. Although they had a few false starts, Michelle experienced a few miscarriages and they feared infertility. Finally, when Lorelai was nearly a teenager, they managed to get pregnant again with another little girl.

Fate, however, had the last laugh. Doctors diagnosed Michelle with preeclampsia late in her pregnancy, and although the doctors had told them everything would be okay and it was a relatively common occurrence, nobody expected for it to progress to full-blown eclampsia. Shortly after giving birth, Michelle suffered a stroke as a result and passed away. Their daughter, Jillian, was born with a low birth weight and remained in the NICU for a few weeks, but ultimately came out unscathed.

The loss was devastating for him, but he barely had time to grieve the loss because he needed to be there for his girls. He stepped up, and with the help of the important figures in his life, he managed to make it through. He avoided taking on further promotions to higher roles although they’ve presented themselves over the years because he knew more responsibility would take him away from his girls, and he wanted to devote as much time to them and making their dreams come true as he possibly can.

— WANTED CONNECTIONS / PLOTS

Best friend — I see this person as being his first friend when he transferred to a new school in NYC going into his senior year, someone who reached out to the new kid and welcomed him with open arms. They've been friends ever since and his girls consider this person to be basically family.

Partner — Shep and this person have been on the force together for at least a few years and have gone through the ups and downs of life together. They've got each other's backs both on and off the field.

Enemies — It's not really a matter of if but how many. Shep is very much a good ol' boy and plays by the rules, so there's no doubt he's rubbed some people the wrong way or gotten some people in trouble for playing things too fast and loose. There could also be those who perceive him as being in his role due to nepotism. I'm open on this one!

[aleyn-de-vries]

Carolyne: In my restless dreams, I see that town: Silent Hill. You promise you'd take me there again someday, but you never did. Well, I'm alone there now. In our special place, waiting for you.

Kino: I got a letter. The name of the envelope said "Carolyne", My wife's name. It's ridiculous. Couldn't possibly be true. That's what I keep telling myself. Carolyne died of that damn disease three years ago. So then, why I'm looking for her? Our "special place"... What could she mean? This whole town was our special place. Could Carolyne really be here? Is she really alive? Waiting for me?

Well here is my little drawing. Taking advantage of the fact that there will be early access of "Silent Hill 2 Remake" on October 6th at midnight Bolivia time (at least in my country), I decided to make this drawing. They are My selfshipping Of Diabolik Lovers Kino and Carolyne dressed as James Sunderland and Mary Shepherd Sunderland.

[dogtrainingonline]

Expert Advice: Unveiling the Secrets to Successful Dog Herding Training

Training a dog for herding is a journey that requires dedication, patience, and a deep understanding of both canine behavior and livestock management. Whether you're a novice enthusiast or a seasoned handler, seeking guidance from experts can provide invaluable insights and techniques to enhance your training approach. In this blog post, we'll glean wisdom from seasoned herding experts and share their top tips and best practices for achieving success in dog herding training.

1. Establish Clear Communication:

According to renowned herding trainer and author, Barbara Ray, clear communication between handler and dog is paramount in herding. Establish consistent verbal cues, hand signals, and body language to convey your intentions effectively to your dog. Ensure your signals are concise, easy to understand, and tailored to your dog's individual learning style and preferences.

2. Focus on Building Trust and Partnership:

Renowned dog trainer and behaviorist, Patricia McConnell, emphasizes the importance of building a strong bond and partnership with your dog in herding training. Prioritize positive reinforcement, mutual trust, and respect in your interactions with your dog. Invest time in developing a deep connection and understanding of your dog's instincts, motivations, and personality to foster a harmonious working relationship.

3. Start Slow and Build Confidence:

Australian Shepherd Hall of Fame breeder and trainer, Carolyn Smith, advises starting herding training at a slow and steady pace to build your dog's confidence and enthusiasm for the task. Begin with basic obedience commands and exposure to livestock in a controlled environment. Gradually increase the complexity and duration of training sessions as your dog gains confidence and proficiency.

4. Embrace Patience and Persistence:

Herding expert and International Sheep Dog Society judge, Aled Owen, emphasizes the importance of patience and persistence in herding training. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither is a skilled herding dog. Be patient with your dog's progress, celebrate small victories, and remain persistent in your training efforts, even in the face of setbacks or challenges.

5. Tailor Training to Individual Dogs:

Each dog is unique, with its own strengths, weaknesses, and learning pace. Renowned Border Collie handler and trainer, Derek Scrimgeour, advocates for tailoring training methods to suit the individual needs and abilities of each dog. Adapt your training approach based on your dog's temperament, energy level, and learning style, and be flexible in your methods to maximize success.

6. Seek Guidance from Experienced Mentors:

Learning from experienced mentors and fellow enthusiasts can provide invaluable support, guidance, and inspiration in herding training. Connect with local herding clubs, attend workshops, seminars, and trials, and seek mentorship from seasoned handlers and trainers in your area. Draw upon their expertise, learn from their experiences, and embrace the opportunity to grow and evolve as a handler.

7. Prioritize Safety and Well-Being:

Above all, prioritize the safety and well-being of both your dog and the livestock throughout the training process. Implement proper handling techniques, ensure secure fencing and containment areas, and monitor for signs of stress or fatigue in your dog and the animals they're working with. Always adhere to ethical standards and humane practices in herding training, and prioritize the welfare of all involved.

Conclusion:

Training a dog for herding is a deeply rewarding endeavor that requires dedication, expertise, and a genuine passion for working with animals. By incorporating the sage advice and best practices of seasoned experts in the field, you can enhance your training approach, deepen your understanding of canine behavior, and unlock your dog's full potential as a skilled herding partner. Embrace the journey, cherish the bond you share with your dog, and celebrate the remarkable achievements that come from collaborative teamwork in the timeless art of herding.

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