#carla wants him too tho

[citrine-elephant]

au where ada and carla become girlfriends and kill simmons together <3

"you know what, FAKE ada? why dont we put our differences behind us? let's kill simmons... together?"

"omg first date??"

"yes and I'M ada. im the REAL ada." and then they kiss

[katiascraft]

✐ᝰ "You knew all too well i was right where you left me" | CL16 ࣪𓏲ּ ᥫ᭡ ₊

parings: retired!charles leclerc x writer!ex!reader

🔎 chapter one: “love is short but forgetting is so long”

🔎 chapter two: “did the love affair mail you too?”

chapter three: “you kept me like a secret, but I kept you like an oath” -> chapter four

summary: It’s the story of a woman frozen in the moment her world fell apart. A perfect dinner ended with, “I met someone else,” and while everyone moved on, she remained stuck in that instant, unable to let go of the past. A poignant tale of heartbreak, grief, and the weight of being trapped in a “forever” that never was.

word count: +5k.

BLOG MASTERLIST - series masterlist

⋆˚࿔𝜗𝜚˚⋆

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arthurleclerc: AAAAAAAAAA need your feedback asap

arthurleclerc: which chapter are you on already? I cried on chapter 9 😭😭😭 so sad

arthurleclerc: i can't believe you're reading it tho

arthurleclerc: it's a beautiful book

arthurleclerc: she is really good with words i mean i SOBBED

arthurleclerc: when she said 'you kept me like a secret but i kept you like an oath. That's the difference. I was never important enough for you' let that shit sink in HEAVY

arthurleclerc: AND chapter 4????? Describes being in love so well it gave me chills i was thinking about carla the whole time

carlossainz: 🤨🤨🤨🤨 didnt know MY FRIEND charles READ ?????????

carlossainz: OH WAIT

landonorris: r u mad with me? I promise i won't hit on your ex 😔

landonorris: stop ignoring me charlie please 😭

⋆˚࿔𝜗𝜚˚⋆

He needed to be alone. It took him a few days to actually convince himself of reading it. After that nigh, he only could think of that fucking phrase: “just between us, did the love affair maim you too?”.

He took it personally. It did maim him. Of course it did. It still haunts him until now. Maybe Arthur was right. Maybe he needed to read that book to make a decision, whatever it may be, he had the feeling something was gonna change if he did. So he decided to take his yacht alone, and read, and spend time with himself. To reflect. He needed that.

The monaco sea was calmed so unlike he was in that moment, eyeing the pages rumbling around the thought of what was about to come when he started reading it for real. The sun was shining trying to keep him warm he thought, but he was shivering way too much by his liking. He found himself trapped in that feeling again. That feeling of not wanting to see the truth, to read how much he hurt her. 

But, maybe it was all fictional, right? Maybe Arthur didn't say it like it was about him, right? Maybe it was just another romance story of heartbreak. He shouldn’t take it so personally. It was not a big deal. He sighed. He didn't know what to believe but stopped hesitating much and jumped straight into chapter one. He ignored the greetings page. His anxiety just couldn't hold any more suspense. 

⋆˚࿔ the initial impact: the recognition of what he once was𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 “chapter one: through the doorway it’s where all begun” 

“The story begins with the protagonist walking through the door of her lover’s life for the first time. The air is cold and sharp, autumn biting at her cheeks, but there’s something warm and inviting in the atmosphere, something inexplicably familiar. She is a stranger in this house, yet she feels oddly at home. His sister’s voice carries from the kitchen, and laughter filters through the walls. 

The protagonist is nervous, her fingers clutching the scarf around her neck as if it’s her last piece of armor. She’s stepping into a new world—his world—and is eager yet afraid of what she’ll find. Her lover greets her with a smile that melts her tension. His sweet disposition calms her. He notices the little things—how she shivers, how she blushes, how she hesitates before hanging her scarf by the door. That scarf, left behind by accident later that night, becomes a symbol of the connection they’re building, a connection that feels like fate but is still so fragile.”

After reading the first chapter he just couldn’t function properly. Or that was what he believed in that moment. He felt reflected in that damn character. Recognizing himself through her eyes made him gutted. All the moments she described felt our memories described in so profound detail turned into poetry. His body hair bristled. It was indeed him. Not only physical description but the way he talks to her, those words are specific. He called her ‘cheri’. The way he used to call her. The way he described it all blew his mind. The way she portrayed the first initial moment of your story together. He started to feel like an idiot. He knew you loved him for real, but this just confirms it. The chapter felt like watching an old picture, he could identify when and where but with these many details and specific feelings, it gives the picture another meaning. It's not only a memory. The memory of you became a piece of art. His heart was racing and a knot formed in his throat. He wasn’t  sure if keeping on reading will help him in any way, but curiosity was stronger than he thought and pushed him for another one. At the same time he wondered why he was doing this to himself, but it shows just how he did not close this chapter of his life at all. She was still there hunting him. She was always in the back of his mind.he could hear her talk when he slept. She was still real in his head. By the way, reading all of that just felt like yesterday. 

⋆˚࿔A profound nostalgia for it all𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter two: the forgotten scarf’

‘Months later, the scarf sits in his drawer, forgotten by her but cherished by him. He doesn’t admit to anyone that he keeps it there, hidden under his old T-shirts. For him, it represents the innocence of their beginning, a time when love was simple and pure.

For her, the scarf is a fleeting memory. She remembers leaving it at his sister’s house but doesn’t think much of it. Yet every time the cold wind brushes against her neck, she feels its absence. She misses something she can’t name, and the scarf—though she doesn’t know it—is tied to that feeling. This chapter reflects on the weight of small objects and how they hold memories that people cannot let go of, even when the relationships tethered to them unravel.’

He was sure this chapter was fictional but he was really impressed by the way she portrayed the two faces of the same coin represented by the scarf that was left behind. He kind of thought about all of the presents he gave you, did you still have them? How did they make you feel? Did you still remember the backstory of every single one of them? Or maybe you just burned them after what he did to you. 

🧣 ‘chapter three: an upstate scape’

‘It’s a spontaneous road trip, one of those unplanned adventures that make life feel limitless. They’re driving upstate, the roads winding through fiery autumn landscapes. The protagonist’s wide-eyed wonder contrasts with his confident ease as he navigates the unfamiliar terrain.

They roll the windows down, letting the cold air rush in, mixing with the sound of their voices as they sing along to an old playlist. She looks at him, studying the way his hands grip the steering wheel, how his profile looks against the golden light of the setting sun. For a moment, she believes this is what happiness looks like—two people lost in the simplicity of the moment, away from the world.

As they stop by the side of the road to admire the leaves, she feels a sense of inevitability, as if everything in her life has led to this moment. But there’s an undercurrent of fear too—what if something so perfect is too good to last?’

He had a few tears stuck to his eyes. The way she described that road trip to the mountains just out of curiosity and wanting to get away from all of your responsibilities. You described it just like it happened but put all of your feelings around it. Now, he really knows how you’ve always felt about him back then. If he had any doubts about it, they wear clear ice now. You felt that love looked like him, in that moment, right there, with him. He made you feel happy and he rapid you like that? He just let himself cry. He actually hated himself so much at this moment. 

He couldn’t bear the feeling of what he actually did to you. Because even back then he had already met Alex, because she was a friend of a guy who was friends with him around that time. She was there, he saw her. Yet, he still came back to you everytime until he couldn't resist the temptation. He cheated on you. But that was something he promised to bury with himself. Now, there was no point in mentioning it. He can pretend it never existed. That’s what he thought was the best for everyone. The only one who knew it was Alex and he knew her all too well that she wouldn't be able to say it either because she doesn't look good at all as well. 

He stopped reading. He couldn't anymore, at least for now. He came back to the city, wanting to run away to his house and hide between his pillows. He was a 35 year old man with teenage emotional issues. He felt a bit ashamed. But who could blame him? He dedicated his whole life to racing. That was his job. He didn't have time to reflect on his life decisions until he had to retire due to knee injury during his, actually, last race here, in monaco. How ironic, where everything began, everything ended. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

The house was really quiet when he arrived. The weather was colder than expected. Wind started to blow a bit violently. He closed all of his windows and got into his pajamas. He wasn’t that hungry so that was all for the day. He took the book with him, not sure if he wanted to keep reading but he saw Arthur's messages to his story on instagram and he stayed rambling about it. What if he took just a few minutes to read the following chapter and break his heart for once and all? Was he scared? Yes, he was scared to death. She was in fact way too good with words, touching all of his soft or injured spots. 

He sled into bed making himself comfortable, as if it could keep him sane. He grabbed a pillow to hug and the book after putting on his reading glasses. He needed to hold something onto him. He felt really lonely. He felt miserable. He lost you over stupid and superficial feelings, when you were there waiting for him to marry you. 

He didn’t know if he’ll be able to forgive himself for it.

⋆˚࿔The pain of feeling reflected𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣  ‘chapter four: are you real?’

‘The story takes a deeper dive into their personalities. The protagonist is curious and eager, a dreamer who sees beauty in the smallest details. She notices the way his laugh lines crease when he smiles and the tenderness in his voice when he talks about his family. She feels like a child discovering the world through him.

He is steady and calm, but there’s a sadness in his eyes that she can’t quite place. He has a sweet disposition that masks his fear of vulnerability. This chapter explores how they balance each other—her lightness lifting his heaviness, his groundedness keeping her from floating away.

Their differences are part of what draws them together, but as the chapter closes, subtle hints suggest that these differences might also be what pulls them apart.’

🧣 ‘chapter five: the begging of the end’ 

‘A seemingly insignificant moment becomes pivotal. They’re driving through a quaint little town, the kind of place where time feels slower. She’s pointing out the decorations in the shop windows when he glances over at her, his eyes filled with something unspoken.

“Watch the road!” she laughs, but her heart skips a beat. He almost runs a red light, and they both burst into nervous laughter. The thrill of it, the recklessness, mirrors the intensity of their feelings.

As they walk down the town’s main street later, hand in hand, she feels invincible. The wind tangles her hair, and the crisp air fills her lungs. It’s a moment she knows she’ll remember forever, even if she doesn’t understand why it feels so significant at the time.’

🧣 ‘chapter six: enough for you’ 

‘This chapter brings the reader into his family home, a place filled with the echoes of his childhood. His mother pulls out a photo album, eager to share stories. The protagonist learns about the little boy he used to be—a shy kid with glasses who loved baseball but never quite fit in.

As she listens, she starts to piece together the man she loves, seeing how his past shaped him. But she also feels a pang of sadness. He talks about his dreams, but there’s a hesitation in his voice, as if he’s unsure of his place in the world. She wonders if she can be the person who helps him find it, but the weight of that responsibility begins to settle on her.’

Between a few lines he had to take breaks.but he couldn't stop reading. He needed more and more, addicted to the words and how she portrayed his attitudes towards her. Feeling addicted to the pain of seeing himself like that. He was an asshole. All because he believed something that was a lie he fabricated to private himself of something real. To push her away. To Protect him from getting hurt. What you had was beautiful but he had to break it. It was too beautiful to be real, he thought. He was insecure and scared. Scared of how much feelings he had for you and how much power that implied. He read every single page slowly, catching up every reference to you, to him, to what you called ‘ours’ so dearly. He fucked it up. He really fucked it up. 

He just needed a break from it. He decided to take a shower and go to sleep or try to. Now, he couldn't stop seeing your face with mascara falling down your face along with your tears the day he left. The day he left you and all of his most vulnerable parts of him with you. 

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

Two days passed by really quickly in his opinion. He couldn’t dare to read another word from that fucking book until now. He woke up feeling ready again to confront the worst part of it. And to do so, as he likes to be his own biggest enemy, he went to the coffee shop that once was the restaurant he left you behind in. It was a pretty masochistic maneuver. But he didn't care anymore. After what he read the other day, his heart was already broken knowing how much he broke you down and didn't realize it sooner. 

It was a really cold, windy and grey day in monaco. He hated this weather so much. He went by foot, taking his time to do some breathing techniques that could help his anxiety. He looked dead in his opinion. Immsonio has been his best friend these past few days. He just didn't want to close his eyes knowing all he would see was your face. How you didn't smile at him back that afternoon. How you cried when he left you for another woman. And your smile when he asked you the first time. It's been 10 years, yet he didn't forget about the way your skin felt when he touched you, what used to be your favorite movie and how he always remembered you when he passed by a flower shop because you used to love flowers so much. And as his mission used to be to make you happy, he would buy you flowers everyday if he could. 

He slapped himself out of his mind when he realized he was thinking too much about you and the past, torturing himself with every random memory he could come up with. He really felt his brain hated him even though he is the one in control anyway. 

He stepped in the coffee shop making the bell on the door sound. It was chilly and there were only a few people. Fortunately it wasn't crowded so if he cried no one would notice. 

He chose to sit at the last table, on the darkest corner. He wanted to feel safe, and that spot made him feel he was very well hidden. He was playing so many mind games just to survive his own mind and emotions lately. 

He got comfy on his chair made out of chiffon. It was good, he thought. He was nervous. He in the deepest place of his heart, coming here was just to see you again. And maybe run to you and beg you to forgive him. But that was only a movie that played nonstop in his brain. You were nowhere to be found. He hoped you chose this place regularly to write as you were that day he saw you, but apparently it was just his imagination. Now he was sure you only came here on occasions or maybe that was the only time you came. Why would you come regularly to the place where he tore your life apart? He was sure you weren’t as masochistic as he was. You were the sane one, he bet. Probably you had a boyfriend who truly loved you and made plans with your nephews, like going to the beach and chasing birds or picnics at the square. You loved picnics and being outdoors. You wrote that down in your books. You were the only person he knew that enjoyed road trips so much. Just sitting there, observing everything, chatting and doing carpool karaoke. He remembered on a road trip like that he kissed you for the first time. You had that friends to lovers story. You don't trust people that easily. It was hard for you to lose your dad a year before he did. You didn't have that many friends. You were really reserved yet so sweet to everyone. You were just really selective. You didn't want to get attached to the wrong people. And then there he was, breaking everything apart: your trust, your self esteem, everything.

God, he hated himself. He hated himself so much he kept on reading right there where he ruined his life, your life. 

⋆˚࿔Pain in real time𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter seven: ticking bomb’

‘It’s late at night, and they’re in his tiny apartment, dancing to a song playing softly from the radio. The refrigerator hums in the background, casting a dim light that bathes them in warmth.

She feels safe here, wrapped in his arms, laughing as he spins her around. It’s one of those moments where the rest of the world fades away, and all that exists is the two of them.

But as the music fades, a sense of fragility creeps in. She wonders if happiness like this can last or if it’s destined to slip through her fingers like everything else she’s ever loved.’

🧣 ‘chapter eight: lost in translation’

‘Misunderstandings begin to pile up. They argue over small things that feel bigger than they are. She starts to question if she’s asking for too much—more time, more effort, more love. He grows distant, retreating into his thoughts, unable to articulate what’s wrong.

This chapter captures the slow unraveling of their relationship, the way love can be chipped away by silence and unspoken words. They’re still together, but the cracks are starting to show’.

He was fighting his tears but he promised he will be strong. Biting his lip became an usual because of anxiety, he thought his lips would fall out. This time around he highlighted every phrase that caught his attention. He wanted to remember how such of a dick he was. 

She felt too much.

And he felt too little. 

They really got lost in translation. He was scared he became cold, she was so in love she became desperate. He didn't realize that and he was sure she didn't know what he was going through. He felt lame. If only he would have talked about it. Communication is a skill he didn't have back then, but did he have it now? He was no better with Alex but at least he was real and didn't cheat on her. 

That didn't make him feel better either. He was guilty, very guilty. Hands dirty. How would he even try to talk to her again? He was sure he didn't deserve her. After all this damage she wouldn’t even be near him like that. Yeah, he was considering what Carlos told him but to be fair he felt it was impossible.

The waitress left his coffee on the table and thanked her with a half smile. He thought she recognized him even though he was going grey already. But she didn't say anything and left him to enjoy his coffee and croissant. And his book of course though he looked really gutted. 

🧣 ‘chapter nine: a crumpled up piece of paper’

‘The breakup is devastating. He calls her, his voice cold and detached, and ends it with a blunt honesty that feels like a knife to her chest.

She’s left reeling, feeling like a crumpled piece of paper discarded on the floor. This chapter delves into her grief, the way heartbreak can make time feel endless and unbearable. She tries to forget him, but every corner of her world is filled with reminders’

She felt like a thing, an object. A broken record. An insignificant piece of paper. Of course he cried. He even brought his handkerchieves. 

He remembered he couldn't be there any longer. He just wanted to run away and he did. And that was selfish as hell. Incredibly selfish. He was so much thinking about himself and his feelings he forgot that she was part of the relationship too. That she also had feelings. He didn’t even let her ask him whatever she needed. He left her there eating her own words. He sobbed a little in silence hiding on his arm on the table trying to calm himself down. When did he think coming here to read this was even a good idea to begin with?

‘and i know it’s long gone and that magic’s not here no more’

‘You taught me about your past, thinking your future was me’ 

‘You kept me like a secret, but i kept you like an oath’

‘You called me up again just to break me like a promise. So casually cruel in the name of being honest’

‘They say all’s well that ends well, but i’m a new hell every time’

‘The idea you had of me, who was she? A never-needy , ever-lovely jewel whose shine reflects on you’ 

Those last sentences ended with him. It was the worst one of them all. She confirmed he was selfish as fuck.  That made him so mad at himself. He felt ashamed and disappointed. Like, how can people actually love him? He had to disagree with carlo. He was indeed a monster. He was so distraught he had to leave that damn coffee shop as soon as possible. He left the money for everything he didn't even have and tip on top, and sprinted out of there just like you did when you saw him. How could he blame you? He was running scared from himself at that moment.or he tried because unfortunately he couldn't stop being himself. And accepting all of this was the hardest part. Arthur didn't give him a disclaimer and maybe that was the plan all along but now he was angry with him. Although he knew the only guilty was him. he also kept you like a secret, he didn't tell anyone about you. he was guilt of all charges. and he wasn't proud of himself for doing so.

⋆˚࿔ 𝜗𝜚˚⋆ 

The next few days, he came back every time to that coffee shop. Almost everyday. Desperate at the thought that maybe he would find you there. He didn't have a clue of what he would do if he saw you, but for some odd reason he wanted to see you. He didn't know anything about you. He didnt know which places you frequented. Neither where would you like to spend your time rather than your house. 

Of course, he didn't see you. And on one hand he was relieved but at the same time tortured. He gave up my tuesday. It was a beautiful sunny day. He came to visit Carlos and when he left home he decided he was gonna end the book. He was avoiding the balcony, your garden. Though, your house was really quiet, almost as if you weren't there. Maybe you didn't have your special someone yet. Or maybe you did and you were on holiday. 

He stopped himself from keeping on wondering nonsense shit he didn't know if it was real or not. He sat down on the sofas Carlos had near the pool with a blanket and a bottle of water. The sun was keeping him warm. The booked shined being reflected. He did unconsciously look over to your house as quietly as a few minutes ago when he last checked. It’s been two weeks since he last saw you. Or minutes ago when he sees you everytime he closes his eyes. 

⋆˚࿔ Self evaluation and reflection 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter ten: time stands still’ 

‘Weeks turn into months, but time feels frozen. The protagonist struggles to move on, yearning for her old self—the person she was before she met him. She looks back on the “plaid shirt days” when everything felt simpler and wonders if she’ll ever feel whole again’.

Reading this chapter sent shivers down his spine. Hefelt she was describing exactly how he felt at that moment. The only difference in this book was writing at least 7 years ago (he googled you. You were pretty famous and he didn't know that), and he was feeling this right now. 

He wanted to go back in time and stay there, in the days he would wake up by your kisses and spend the days in bed laughing and gossiping about anything and everything. Back when innocence was part of your bond, so pure that it felt unbreakable. 

So sad it was just a feeling and not a fact. 

He wanted to punch himself in the face right there and then.

🧣 ‘chapter eleven: what was left’

‘From his perspective, the scarf remains a constant reminder of her. He can’t bring himself to throw it away because it still smells like her. It represents the innocence they lost, the love he didn’t know how to hold onto.

The chapter alternates between their perspectives, showing how they’re both haunted by the past in different ways.’

He laughed. How ironic life can be sometimes, right? This felt worse than the Ferrari strategy. But it felt real just like them. He couldn’t believe that even though she didn't know anything about him except from what she could see on the internet or tv, she knew perfectly how he felt. He was in a kind of panic. How could she?

🧣 ‘chapter twelve: back before we lost the one real thing we’ve ever known’ 

‘The protagonist revisits their happiest moments, remembering the rare connection they shared. She acknowledges that even though it’s gone, it was real, and that’s what makes it so hard to let go.’

‘I’d like to be my old shelf again but I’m still trying to find her’

‘And did the twin flame bruise paint you blue?’

‘There we are again when I love you so, back before we lost the one real thing we’ve ever known’

He closed the book for a moment. Hanging into the mixed feeling he carried. He was looking nowhere. Deep thinking. She captured things he didn't understand until he read them. How? It was something so special, why? Why did I let her down? So many questions to so few limited answers. 

⋆˚࿔Admiration𝜗𝜚˚⋆

🧣 ‘chapter thirteen: remembering all too well’

‘The book closes with her accepting the weight of her memories. She realizes she doesn’t have to forget to move on. The love, the pain, the lessons—they’re all part of her story now. And while she’ll always remember it all too well, she’s ready to step forward into the unknown’.

He finally finished the book. It took you two weeks to go through it all. All he could think was ‘wow’. This was incredibly hard to read but how brave of her to write all of this. How strong she had to be. How brave to be so vulnerable. That’s something he won’t ever comprehend, he is so scared of being vulnerable. Always trying to be tight and invincible. It helped in racing but in life really complex things took place, not so much. 

He felt admiration, as the first time he saw you painting at the beach a beautiful piece of art. He wondered if you still paint. How ironic he left you for Alex, he thought. Even though he knew all of this was fictional, he knew you. Or he likes to think he does. He knew all of the phrases and thought that fit your character perfectly. He knew it was him and she was you. He was so trapped in his own feelings that he didn't realize how much you were giving to him. You gave him your everything and more. Now he gets it. It was incredible to him you created art with the pain he put you under. And even if he hated himself for that, he felt kind of grateful he could contribute to such a beautiful thing like this one. 

The love that was once there, he knew it still there. He knew all too well he felt it.

As he fell in love with you all over again.

“Charlie, mi amor! It's party night tonight! Woohoooo!” Carlos came out of nowhere and jumped on him funny, scaring him for a second.

“A party? On a tuesday?” Charles was confused but couldn't help laughing. Carlos always makes him laugh and his friendship was really important to him. He always likes to say to Carlos it’s the best thing racing gave him. 

“Why not pup? Don’t be old. When was your last party? You’re getting grey and anciano, help yourself a bit with vodka man! And women” he said with a mischievous smile moving his eyebrows at him funny. Charles laughed, shaking his head.

“Alright, alright. Let’s have fun for once” he surrendered to his friend and his ideas. 

“Woohoo. Get ready, we’ll go to buy everything right now. And Charles, please, get rid of that book mate. You need to move on" Carlos said to his best friend disappearing into the house leaving Charles alone again. 

“I wish i could” he said under his breath resigned and grabbed the book going into the house and left it on his backup. he thought it was a bit contradicting of what he told him a few nights ago but carlos tends to change his mind very quickly about things so it was no surprise for charles. 

Carlos was already waiting for him at the door shaking the keys of his ferrari on his fingers making charles laugh.

⋆˚࿔ TO BE CONTINUED 𝜗𝜚˚⋆

chapter four: here.

tag list: : @a-beaverhausen , @priniya , @annaluna12 , @thehoplessromanticclub , @emryb , @hadids-world , @kaztheemyth , @freyathehuntress , @diorbrxtz , @theseerbetweenus , @sie17136 , @leila-030304 , @charlesgirl16

author's note: writing this made me sad :( this took me so long to write my eyes hurt, but want it to be good <3

do we or do we not sympathize with charlie? i'll read you 👀

(sonny thank you for giving me this idea)

don't forget to reblog, comment or like! and follow me so we can be friends :3 (and drink mate together!)

[ramp-it-up]

II Most Wanted Pt. 2: Pedal so heavy 

Pairing: Syverson x OFC Reader "Buttercup" (w/ Betty Bronco)

Summary: The feelings are getting real as you make a decision about giving Jake Syverson the time of day (or night, rather) at your 20 year reunion.

Warnings: 18+ Only, Minors DNI. RPF. S MUT, Angst, pining, fluff. Flashbacks, horny teenagers being horny (over 18 tho). Prom night, early 2000's music, mentions of sex acts, "Captain" kink, mentions of teenage pregnancy, divorce, breakups. The Powerpuff Girls, old automobiles, 20 year high school reunion, drinking, swearing. Reckless driving?

Read at your own risk.  Not Beta’d. All errors my own.

A/N:  This is the second installment of II Most Wanted. I'm in love with these two; they are bringing my writer heart back to life. If you like it, please reblog and comment.

I don't have a taglist. Please follow @rampitupandread and turn on notifications to learn when I post! 😘

I Do NOT Consent to my work being reposted, translated or presented on any other blog or site other than by myself.

Previous part here

-----------------

May 2024

“Well, now Buttercup, that’s a long story. I know you want to hang with your friends. And I don’t know what you’re doin’ later tonight, but I would like to go somewhere quiet and talk about it.”

When you heard that, you went into fight or flight mode. Rage, regret, and sadness all flooded your body at once, and Sy’s eyes flicked down to your dominant hand which was curling into a fist. A wry smile started on his lips, and then he straightened up and looked you in the eye as he started to speak again.

“Butter-”

You shook your head, which silenced him. Then you raised your chin, released your fist, and turned your back, walking toward your friends.

—---

Get out (LEAVE!)

Right now

It’s the end of you and me

It’s too late (NOW!)

And I can’t wait 

For you to be gone…

Carla and Tiffani followed as you fled to the restroom.

“Why did you even tell him I liked him? I blame both of you.”

You were hurt, so you brought up a 20 year old slight and lashed out weakly at your friends. You were trying to ascribe meaning to your emotions.

How could everything still hurt this much? 

Carla wasn’t having it.

“Unh unh. No. Nope. We were sick of you running your mouth all the time about how cute he was. And Jakey boy had heart eyes for you since the day you walked into school, despite Becca the Bitch. After they broke up, we had to put you both out of your misery. It had to be done.”

Tiffani was nodding her head in agreement.

You sighed.

“‘M sorry guys,” you sat on the bathroom vanity and smiled to yourself about your Powerpuff councils in the 3rd floor Central High bathroom all those years ago. Then you grimaced when you thought of Sy.

“I just… Can’t…”

“So what just happened?”

Despite your surliness, Carla was ready to go to war for you.

“He wants me to go talk with him, ‘someplace quiet.’”

“Wow. Your air quotes are kind of aggressive.”

Sweet Tiffani was also calling you out.

“Maybe you do need to talk to him. I heard what happened, and it’s kind of a lot. A hell of a story.”

“Tiff has a point. You forbid us to say his name after you two broke up…”

You interrupted Carla.

“After he found out Becca was pregnant, you mean..”

“...That is a part of the story you need to hear. She did him dirty. They split when he finished his first tour. He asked about you, but you were already engaged to Scott…”

You’d heard that Sy enlisted instead of going to State for football like he planned when Becca fell pregnant, but the bit about the split hit you like a ton of bricks.

But why? And what did it matter now? 

“Sy spent the better part of the last 20 years in Afghanistan, and I think it’s because…But that’s not our story to tell. You really ought to talk to him.”

“I don’t have to do-”

Your voice was a little shrill and you closed your mouth when you heard yourself. You stood in the bathroom awkwardly until the familiar beginning of a song wafted into the room:

“Teen drinking is very bad.”

Carla and Tiff started screaming the next line:

“Yo, I got a fake ID tho.”

The beat dropped and they pulled you out of the bathroom onto the dance floor.

One, here comes the two to the three to the four Everybody drunk out on the dance floor Baby girl ass jiggle like she want more Like she a groupie and I aint even on tour...

…..Everybody in this bitch getting Tipsy.

This was your thot song, and after a minute of standing there, fake offended by their dancing, soon you were shaking your ass with your lifelong friends.

—-----

Sy knew how much he was trying it when he asked you to talk, but he had been waiting 20 years for this chance. 

Tonight was the night.

And he wasn’t going to let the night pass without shooting his shot. But the truth needed to be told first. He hoped that you still cared enough to let it happen.

When you stared at him blankly, he started to sweat. He knew you lived your life since then. He feared that any feelings you may have had for him were over and done with. But then he saw your hand balled into a fist, and hope entered his heart.

Sy never shrank from a fight; hell, he’d started too many, but he never wished for someone to sock him in the mouth as much as you.

He wanted to fight with you. 

And he wanted to make it up to you. 

His heart dropped when you walked away, but he decided to let it ride and give you some space. After you disappeared into the bathroom with Carla and Tiffani, Sy ventured into the venue, ready to interact with others now that he had laid down the challenge with you.

—---

You were having a ball dancing with the girls until that song came on. You stopped moving, the hair raised on the back of your neck. When you turned you found Sy staring right at you. You’d managed to ignore him the entire night, but this song and his blue eyes were wearing you down.

I'd sure hate to break down here Nothin' up ahead or in the rear view mirror Out in the middle of nowhere, knowin' I'm in trouble if these wheels stop rollin' So, God help me, keep me movin' somehow Don't let me start wishin' I was with him now

You walked toward Sy, drawn to him as if on a string. You had that feeling in the small of your back as you stood before him, the one that you hadn’t felt in ages, and suddenly everything felt inevitable.

Just like it did 20 years earlier. 

—---

May 2004

On Prom night, you came out of your bedroom and Sy’s mouth dropped open. His eyes never strayed from your face as he murmured,

“You look amazing.”

You blushed and smiled while your mom ‘awwwed’ and went to get her camera. You approached your boyfriend and he took your hand to twirl you around as he appraised the rest of you in your sleek emerald green dress. When you faced him again, he was licking his lips, trying to make the look on his face respectable. You smiled because you could read his mind.

Sy didn’t flinch as your mom called him “Jacob,” and you didn’t have it in you to be annoyed as she took a couple of pictures. Sy’s hand on your waist and his thumb gently stroking the exposed skin at the opening on the side of your dress made you shiver in anticipation.

You were caught up.

Soon, Sy was loading your bag into the back of Betty, and pulling off, your mom having accepted your explanation of staying over Tiffani’s after going bowling with the group after the prom.

In reality, a bunch of the crew were renting a huge chalet in the mountains, 45 minutes away. You and Sy had your own room, and you were ready to give him everything that night. You were distracted, imagining having your way with him that night.

And Sy was right there with you.

“Y’know, Buttercup, we can just head on up to the chalet.” 

He cut his eyes over to you to watch your reaction. When you didn’t answer and just bit your lip, that’s when he knew.

“Our suite has its own bathroom with a shower in it. We’re definitely using that this weekend. Can’t wait to see you all soapy and wet. ‘S all I could think about in the shower tonight. Almost jerked off to the image, but I decided to save it all for later…”

Sy knew you too well, and had keyed into how you responded when he talked dirty to you. He was priming the pump for later.

You pictured Sy in the shower, his lithe muscles clenched as he fisted himself, made you suddenly need a drink of water. You cleared your throat and found your voice.

“We have to go, Sy. I spent so much time getting ready. And you look so handsome in this tux….”

You skimmed your hand down his lapel, down his torso to his thigh, and you quickly ascertained his situation. He grinned at you.

“You’re right.”

Sy winked, smiled and concentrated on the road while you tried not to be a slut in the passenger seat. By the time you reached the venue, you had yourself under control. He parked, then turned toward you. 

“Let’s have a good time tonight, Buttercup. Think you can keep your hands offa me for a couple of hours?”

You scoffed, and Sy took your hand and kissed the back of it, then turned it over and kissed your palm, smoothing the joke away because in reality, It was him who couldn’t help touching you.

“Don’t want to mess up your makeup right now… might ruin it later tho.”

You whimpered in his grip as he kissed up your arm and you tucked a long errant curl behind his ear. 

Sy’s eyes went soft and he held your hands in your lap.

“Y’know, we don’t have to do anything tonight. We can dance all night if you want to. Bowl the blue balls away.”

You laughed and Sy fell in love even more. You were so beautiful.

“I love you, Buttercup, and us having sex or not won’t change that, not one bit.”

You melted as you stared at your handsome fella. He was fiddling with your hand, and then you felt something cold on your finger. You pulled your hand back and saw the delicate white gold ring with a tiny perfect diamond in the center that had been his grandmother’s.

You gasped.

“Sy!”

You looked from him to his grandmother’s ring. You’d come across it the first time you were over his house, ‘studying’ in his room on a chilly November night after football practice. You were being nosy and looking at everything you could touch as he went to get some snacks.

Sy was embarrassed when he came back and saw you with it. You thought he was mad at you for snooping, but he wasn’t. He’d told you that it was just a ‘tiny little ol’ ring, not worth anything,’ and that no one would want it, but that his Gran had left it for him to give to his future wife. 

“But, I’ll propose to someone with a bigger ring than this.”

Sy’s denim blue eyes held yours for a beat. Your heart flipped. You didn’t know why, because you’d only been talking for a couple of weeks and this was the first time you were alone together. 

You didn’t know that Sy was repeating something Becca had told him when she turned her nose up at the antique when she happened to see it, and you didn’t care as you took the black box and sat down on his bed. You stared at the ring inside like it was the crown jewels, and after about 5 minutes of studying it, you looked up at him. 

“Well. I think this ring is beautiful and precious. The detail is stunning. Your future wife would be lucky to get it.” 

That was exactly when Sy realized that he was in love with you.

Back in the Bronco outside of the prom, you were in disbelief.

“What are you doing Sy….?”

All of a sudden, you felt too young for this moment. But after only six short months together, Sy knew exactly what you were thinking.

“Calm down, Buttercup, this is just a promise ring.” 

He kissed your hand again. 

“I know we're jumpin' the gun, and we're both still young.” 

Those eyes held you in a trance.

“But one day, we won't be.”

“Oh, Sy…”

“It’s my promise to you, Buttercup. I will love you ‘til the day I die.”

And it seemed kinda crazy. But you believed him.

—-

May 2024

I made it this far without cryin' a single tear An' I'd sure hate to break down here Oh, no

It was either the music, the dancing, or the alcohol, or all three that made your mind up, but you were ready to listen to what Sy had to say. 

Stephanie Prince, the class president, was calling the Homecoming court up to the stage, and Sy looked that way. Anger bloomed again inside you.

Damnit, Sy needed to choose you this time.

“You still wanna talk, Sy?”

Your body language that screamed aggression: the cocked hip, the crossed arms that pushed up your tits, the tapping foot in those heels, all made Sy soft on the inside and hard on the outside for you. When he answered you, his voice broke. 

“Ye– yeah.”

Christ, you had him weak. But he made a decision, found his strength, and grabbed your hand, pulling you out of the Marriott.

You followed him obediently, and that set him on fire. He stopped and turned around when he reached the Bronco. 

But he didn’t let go of your hand.

You two stared at each other in the late spring night air, stars winking down on you two.

“So where we goin’, Sy?”

Being this close to him again, and the feeling of his touch made all those 20 year old pheromones perk up again. Damn, this man. 

This huge, handsome, hairy man.

“Where do you wanna go, Buttercup?”

What your brain was doing was insane, so you just kept silent.

Becoming mute was one of your tells. Sy was elated that maybe you wanted him, at least physically. He was so thirsty for you.

“Hm.”

Sy grunted, straightened up, loosened his tie and unbuttoned the top buttons of his shirt, all while still holding your hand. It was like he didn’t want to let you go. 

And he didn’t.

“Tell you what. Let’s take a spin in Betty. See what’s up in the ol’ town.”

Your eyes flicked toward the truck, and you knew it was dangerous.

But you were grown now. 

And so was Sy.

Sy led you around to the passenger side door to help you up into the high profile vehicle, leaning over you to buckle you in, only releasing you to put his hand on the door.

“I can’t believe you still have her,” you whispered, indicating the Bronco. “How is she still the exact same condition?”

“She’s been in storage for the better part of 20 years. Thought about her everyday though.”

Sy was looking at your lips, and the memories came flooding back.

“I bet she missed you.”

Sy cocked his head and his tongue darted out to moisten his lips. His voice came out gruff and he had to clear his throat again. 

“Oh yeah?”

“Yeah, Sy.”

Any smooth line was lost as his brain short circuited with the concentration it took to not kiss you right now. 

“Well, we’re about to have some fun together again, you, me, and Betty. Sit tight, pretty lady.” 

Your cheeks heated at the compliment.

“Ok, Captain.”

Sy actually blushed, shook his head and closed the door, leaving you to breathe in the old leather smell of the Bronco with your eyes closed, conveniently leaving him to pump his fist behind the car unseen by you. 

He got back in the car, jacket off. And he leaned near you to place it on the back seat, you got a whiff of him, the familiar cologne adding another dimension to your roiling senses.

When you opened your eyes, you witnessed him rolling his shirtsleeves up his forearms. He caught you ogling him and you gulped and crossed your own arms and legs, angling yourself to look out of the open window.

Sy looked over at you closing yourself off from him, then smashed the gas to make sure that you'd squeal and grab his arm like the good ol’ days as he peeled out of the parking lot, pedal so heavy like you were the two most wanted criminals in town.

—---

Hit reblog if you like it!

Next part Here

[leon-on-the-froggy-chair]

marriage in ada solidarity

(I am continuing to rant abt re6 in the tags bc i pissed myself off)

Leon stans be like "Leon Kennedy would never🥰" "Leon Kennedy would treat me right🥰🥰" when this man's average lines are "women🙄" and "following a lady's lead just isn't my style" and "maybe you're not heartless after all" to a woman who's saved his life 27473 times

[canirove]

Canary boy | Chapter 2

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

“He's sleeping on your sofa?”

“Yes.”

“He stayed for the night?”

“Yes.”

“Oh my God, Inés.”

“I know, Carla. I know” I sigh over the phone. “But what else should have I done? I don't know where he lives and I couldn't send him on his own. Like, the driver was super nice and wanted to help, but…“

“What was that noise?”

“Oh my God, Pedri!” I say, running towards the living room. “Pedri, are you ok?”

“I'm fine, I'm fine” he says from the floor. 

“I'll call you later, Carla” I say, hanging up before she can say goodbye. “Are you sure you are ok?”

“Yeah… The blood in my hand is old, so I guess I didn't open my head in half.”

“You actually did that last night.”

“What?” he asks, looking up at me. How can he be hungover and still look handsome? It's not fair. 

“You hit your head when you were getting out of the Uber. And you still have blood in your hand because you fell asleep before I could take care of it.”

“Shit” he says, slowly moving back to sit on the sofa and untangling his legs from the blanket. “I'm sorry, Inés.”

“What for?”

“All this. Whatever it is I did last night. I don't usually drink so much that I end up this drunk, but…”

“But drinking the amount of alcohol you drank in one go, can knock out anyone.”

“Yeah” he chuckles, the movement definitely hurting him. “May I ask for a glass of water?”

“Of course. One of the big ones?”

“If you have one…” he smiles. Though that also seems to hurt him.

“Here you go” I say when I'm back with his water.

“Thank you, Inés” he says, drinking it all in one go. Again. 

“Are you hungry?” I ask him.

“I could eat a cow, to be honest” Pedri laughs. 

“I'm afraid I don't have one, my apartment is too small to keep one of those. And the smell…”

“Yeah” he chuckles. “It's a nice apartment, tho. Very cosy.”

“You said the same last night.”

“Well, kids and drunks don't lie, do they?” he smirks, looking at me.

“Yeah” I reply with a nervous laugh, hoping he can't notice that I'm blushing. “I can't offer you a cow, but maybe an omelette will be ok? I've heard it helps with hangovers, and I don't have much else on my fridge right now.”

“An omelette will be fine. Thank you.”

“You're welcome” I smile. “And the bathroom is that door over there” I say, pointing behind me. “You probably want to refresh yourself a bit and check your wound. Or I can do it myself. The wound part, not the refreshing.” Oh my God, Inés. Shut up.

“I think I can manage” he says, slowly getting up from the sofa. “But I'll leave the door open just in case” he winks, instantly regretting doing it. 

“Great, umm… that door” I say, trying to stay focused and not think too much about the way his wink has made me feel. Like, it was just a wink, and one he didn't even manage to properly do because he ended up closing both eyes. It should have not turned me on!

“Thank you, Inés” he replies before slowly walking away while I just watch him. Even the way he walks while being hungover is sexy. What the fuck?

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“Inés, I'm afraid I may have ruined one of your towels while washing my face” Pedri says as he walks into the kitchen.

“Oh, don't worry. It's… bloody hell” I gasp, the fork I had on my hand falling to the floor.

“Are you ok?”

“Yeah, yeah. Clumsy hands” I chuckle as I bend down to pick it, hiding my face as much as I can. Because I'm pretty sure that if he looked at it right now, he would be able to see how badly I'm blushing. And why, you may ask? Because he just walked into the kitchen while putting on his t-shirt, and I've gotten to see in person his chest, and his abs, and I just… I… Thoughts have been thought. “Your omelette is almost ready” I manage to say.

“Great. Do you want me to help you with anything?” he offers.

“No, don't worry. Sit down.”

“Ok" he says. "By the way, do you know where I left my phone? It isn't in my pocket and I didn't see it in the living room.”

“Oh, it's in my bag. You dropped it on the Uber when you decided to take a nap on my lap.”

“So that wasn't a dream, uh… Anyway, I just wanted to check on Mario. I think we left him with a friend of yours?”

“Yep, with Carla” I say, focusing on finishing his omelette. “Nothing happened between them if that's what you are wondering.”

“But they seemed to like each other, didn't they? I think I remember that.”

“They… they did, yes” I say, putting the plate with the omelette in front of him and giving him my back again. And why? Because I'm feeling as nervous as if I am being judged to get into MasterChef, but mainly because his hair is all wet, and so is part of his t-shirt, and he looks so… so… so freaking hot. “Do you want something to drink too? More water?”

“Please” he says. “And oh my God, Inés. This tastes like heaven.”

“It's just an omelette, Pedri” I chuckle. 

“Best one I've ever tasted.”

“I think the hangover is talking for you.”

“Maybe… or maybe not” he smirks. “Thank you for taking care of me. I should have been the one taking care of you and accompanying you home, and then…”

“It's ok, don't worry” I smile. 

“You can't tell anyone at uni about this, tho.”

“Will I be ruining your reputation?” I tease him. Wait, what? Who are you, woman?

“Oh, definitely” he laughs, the sound making the butterflies on my stomach come alive. I've made him laugh. Me. Inés. I've made Pedri laugh. Can you believe it? “Getting drunk after just one drink and then opening my head with a car's door? They would tease me with that until we graduate.”

“My lips are sealed, then” I say, touching them.

“Thank you” he says. And call me crazy, but I could swear he focused on them for longer than you normally would before starting to eat again. Though maybe it's because I have something on my face. Maybe I didn't clean myself properly after eating my breakfast, and I've had chocolate somewhere while we've been talking and oh my God! “This was so good, Inés.”

“You already finished it?”

“Yeah” he shrugs. Did he eat too fast or was I gone with my own thoughts for too long? 

“But you still are hungry, aren't you? That probably counts as just a cow's ear.”

“I am, yes” he chuckles. “Do you know if anyone in your neighborhood makes churros?”

“What?”

“I'm in the mood for churros. Though maybe it is too late for them, isn't it?” he says, checking his watch.

“A bit, yes.”

“Then we could make them ourselves.”

“What?” I say again. He's going to start thinking I'm stupid. Or deaf. Or both.

“Yeah, it'll be fun. We just need some flour.”

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

We just need some flour, Pedri had said. But the thing was, that I didn't have any at home or even a machine to make churros, so we had had to go out to one of those 24 hour open supermarkets and a bazaar to buy everything we would be needing. While we were at it, we also bought some chocolate that he swore was the best chocolate ever and that it would be perfect for the churros, some gummy bears he was in the mood for, and on our way home, what did he do when he saw a woman selling roses on the street? He bought me one.

Pedri bought me a freaking red rose. 

He said it was his way of saying thank you for taking care of him, but because like I already said, I'm stupid and can't accept that he only likes me as a friend, I thought it was the most romantic thing ever. 

“It is very easy. Look” Pedri says, letting a churro graciously lay on the oil. After making a bit of a mess in my kitchen, mainly because we spent most of our time making jokes and teasing the other, now it was time for the less fun part: frying the churros.

“It is easy for you. I've never done this before.”

“Inés, you made me an omelette for breakfast. You know your way around the kitchen” he chuckles.

“With what I'm familiar with, yes. But this…” I say, looking at the frying pan as he puts another one in.

“It'll be fine, you'll see.”

“Pedri…”

“Pick a churro” he says, moving to stand behind me. 

“Shouldn't I put an apron first or something?”

“Aprons are for cowards, I already told you. Pick a churro, Inés.”

“Fine” I sigh. 

“The key is to not think too much about it.”

“What?” I say, his face suddenly too close to mine. So close, that I can feel his breath tickling my ear. 

“If you think too much about it you'll probably end up burning yourself, and we don't want that, do we?”

“No” I whisper. 

“Inés, stop looking at me and focus on what we are doing” he smirks. 

“I'm focused” I say, giving his lips one last look before focusing on the pan. This close they look even more kissable. 

“Good” he says. I can't see his face anymore, but I'm sure he is still smiling. “Now pick a churro.” 

“Ok” I say, putting all my senses on that and not on his hands resting on my waist, or the fact that he is now so close to me that if I moved a little, I could feel his churro. 

“We are going to do it at the count of three, ok? Remember to not think too much about it.”

“Ok” I nod.  

“One… two… three!” 

“Ah!” I yell, closing my eyes and letting the churro fall on the pan before twisting on Pedri's arms and curling up against him.

“You did it, Inés!” he laughs, his chest vibrating against mine, a feeling I could definitely get used to. “Inés… Inés, hey. Are you ok?” he says, his hands suddenly moving to my face and making me look at him. “Did you get burnt?”

“What?” 

“The oil, Inés. Did it burn you?” he says, his eyes moving all over my face. He looks so worried but also so cute and concerned and cute and… 

“No, no. I'm fine.”

“You sure?” Pedri asks, one of his thumbs moving over my cheek. It is the lightest of touches, but it manages to make my knees feel weak and my face burn, something I'm pretty sure he is noticing. 

“I'm fine.”

“Ok, good” he says, giving me one last concerned look before smiling again. “Why don't you take care of the chocolate while I finish this?”

“Yes, sure.”

“Great” he says, kissing my forehead and letting go of me. Did he… Did Pedri just kiss my forehead? As if I was a little kid? Though I've seen photos of couples doing it on Pinterest and they look really cute so… 

“Inés, did you hear me?”

“I…”

“You didn't” he chuckles. “Get a couple of pots to start melting the chocolate.”

“Yes, a pot. For the chocolate. Yes” I say, trying to focus again on what we are doing. On the churros.

“Two pots, Inés.”

“Two pots, yes” I say, starting to look for them to try and ignore the playful smile on his face, one that is definitely not helping with my current state. At all. 

Because getting turned on while making churros, was something I didn't have on my bingo card for today. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And that's the last one” Pedri says after taking the last churro from the frying pan. We've made enough for the whole building, to be honest. “How is the chocolate going?”

“I think it's almost ready.”

“Let me check.”

“Pedri!” I say when he puts his finger inside the pot. 

“What?” he says after sucking it and then licking a bit of chocolate that was running down towards his hand, making me add all that to my list of things I didn't know could turn me on. 

“Haven't you heard of spoons?”

“Yeah” he shrugs. “But this way it tastes a lot better. Give it a go” he says, covering his finger on chocolate once again.

“What are you doing?” I say with a nervous laugh.

“I want you to taste the chocolate.”

“From your finger?” 

“Yeah” he shrugs again. “C'mon, Inés.”

“I… I…”

“You won't regret it. Trust me.” 

“Ok” I say, holding Pedri's hand and sucking his finger, the noise that leaves my mouth when I taste the chocolate making this situation even more sexual and pornographic than it already was.

“Told you it was good” he smirks before licking his finger. The finger I just sucked, yes. “Now let's taste it with a churro” he says, taking one and dipping it on the chocolate. “Ladies first.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you. Open your mouth, Inés.” Jesus fucking Christ. Does he know the meaning of everything he's saying and doing, or is it just me and my dirty mind? “Good girl” Pedri smirks when I do as he says and give the churro a bite, another very sexual noise leaving my mouth. 

Oh, he knows. He definitely knows what he is doing. Where has his hungover gone?

“Good?” he asks me, eating what was left of it.

“So good” I manage to say.

“Then let's sit down and eat them before they get cold.”

Though if you ask me, that would be something impossible keeping in mind how hot I'm feeling right now. Just the heat coming from my body would be able to keep them warm for a week. 

“Where did you learn to make churros?” I ask him as I sit down at the table.

“My mum taught me” Pedri says, eating one in one go. 

“Did she also teach you the finger thing?” 

“She would hit me with a pan if she saw me do it” he laughs. “But you can't deny it tasted a lot better like that” he smirks.

“Yeah, well” I reply, eating a churro and hoping it can somehow hide my blush. “You can pick up.”

“Uh?”

“Your phone. You can pick up, it's been vibrating for a while.”

“Nah, it's ok. She's probably just calling because I haven't replied to her good morning message.” And with she, he means his girlfriend, Nerea. I saw the name on the screen. “Sometimes she treats me as if I was a kid, constantly asking me if I've eaten or gone to the bathroom.”

“What?” I laugh.

“She's a nursing student and sometimes takes things way too seriously” he shrugs. “Anyway, less talking about her and more about you.”

“Me?”

“Yes, you, Inés. Tell me something about you that I don't know” Pedri smiles.

“I… Ummm…” I fancy you very much? Nah, he has probably noticed that already, he isn't stupid. “As a kid I supported Real Madrid.”

“No!” he gasps. 

“Yep. I got into football because of my cousins, and that's the team they support”

“Have you seen the light now?”

“Kind of.”

“Kind of? Inés!” he laughs. “You play for Barcelona!”

“And basically everyone in my family who likes football supports Real Madrid, it isn't my fault!” I laugh back. “But we've made a deal, and we only support the men's team.”

“Well, it's something” he chuckles.

“What about you? Which team do you support?”

“I was basically born with a Barça t-shirt on” he smiles before starting to tell me more about his life in Tenerife, both of us sharing anecdotes from our childhood and laughing for what feels like hours. And we actually talk for hours, because when I randomly look up and see the clock on the microwave, it's almost four o'clock.

“Oh, shit” I say, quickly getting up from my chair.

“Everything ok?” Pedri asks me.

“Yes. No. I mean… It's just that my dad is coming to pick me up in half an hour to go visit my grandparents, and I need to shower, get ready, clean all this…” 

“And here I've been entertaining you. I'm so sorry, Inés.”

“What? No, no. I've really enjoyed this.”

“You have?”

“I have” I smile. The part where I was so turned on I was close to explode, included.

“I've also really enjoyed this time together” he smiles back. He… He has enjoyed… being with me. Spending time with me. But obviously just as friends. Though he was ignoring his girlfriend’s calls and texts… No, Inés. Just friends. Don't make the same mistake again. “Why don't I clean around while you get ready?”

“Oh, no, no, no. You are my guest, I can't let you do that.”

“Inés” Pedri says, getting up from his chair and closing the space between us, one of his hands reaching for mine, his touch making me gasp. “You are the one who took care of me last night when you didn't have to, and your kitchen is a mess because of me, because I had the amazing idea of making churros.”

“You did, yes” I chuckle.

“Then let me do this for you. Please.”

“Ok, fine. I can't say no that face.” Because he is pouting. He is pouting those extremely kissable lips of his, and if I have to look at them for any longer, I may end up doing something that I will definitely regret. 

“No one can resist it, I know” he winks. Oh, yes, Pedro. Add a wink to the mix. Kill me a bit more. “Now, you shower, I clean. Deal?”

“Yeah, deal.”

“Then chop chop, Inés” he says, kissing my cheek and starting to tidy up the table while I just stay there, not moving a single muscle. Pedri just kissed my cheek. Not my forehead like before, no. My cheek. “Inés, didn't you hear me? Chop chop!”

“Yes, shower, getting ready.”

“Exactly” he laughs before I leave the kitchen, whatever song he starts whistling getting stuck in my head for the rest of the day.

[cravingpepsimax]

me: yeah i don't really like teen stancest. a huge part of its appeal is the decades of yearning and teen stancest kinda fucks with that. also i don't think poly stancest ships cuz i think they're too obsessed w each other. brain: hmmm. carla/stan/ford me: ...you're cooking here.

LEMME EXPLAIN

so. we don't know that much about carla. right. but we do know this:

regularly visited a 50s-themed restaurant. presumably not just bc of stan cuz she ended up leaving him for a hippie she's just into that stuff

got together with this guy. even if you think he didn't actually look like that he def had hella acne and i do doubt he brushed his teeth on the reg. the point being i don't think she cared too much about appearances

dated stan for years, which implies that she wasn't Disgusted By Ford or something, bc there's no WAY stan wouldn't have noticed and promptly dumped her ass

ANYWAYS. i think it'd be fun if carla was a baddie but also a weird girl so stan would've been her first boyfriend that wasn't like "ewww... but she's hot tho so like"

so. where does ford come in why isn't this just a st4rla post.

well. it originally was simple: i just thought it'd be really funny if she was fujoing outtttt over them. her friends being like "hehe lol twin threesome" as a joke and her internally going Mmmmm not quite.

BUT THEN. I STARTED THINKING ABOUT IT. and what if at first ford's like "eughhhh stan's basic girlfriend that i'm totally not jealous of" but then they end up hanging out together some cuz of stan and he's like... oh... huh. she's different. it turns out she likes st4r trek and they nerd out over that together

i don't think they'd be together -- 'cause i don't think she'd be romantically interested in ford and ford, in my heart, is a gay man thru and thru -- but they'd be metamours and they'd be good friends

this ALSO adds some VERY interesting canon divergence elements:

stancest is even angstier. typically when stancest fics mention carla conflict it's from stan not wanting to cheat on his girlfriend, which is reasonable, or stan having relationship issues with her. ford doesn't rlly gaf about how she feels. BUT if carla is his friend? his very first, non-stan friend? especially during the years where he's starting to feel more suffocated by stan, and feels like he's just always gonna be seen as stan's weird brother and not as his own individual? ford wouldn't wanna ruin that.

if the science fair incident still happens, a bunch of things could change. ford could end up crossing paths with carla before he goes home, venting to her about it, and being able to manage his emotions better when he gets home. if he doesn't, he'd still have to consider that shunning stan would also mean losing the One Other Friend he had, so he might be just a biiiit more reluctant to not try and talk to him.

the two main people in ford's life being two kinda nuts extroverts would be a fun dynamic JDSAKLDJAKLK

polyamory means no hippie music magic to yoink her away from them

most importantly, carla is no longer just stan's girlfriend with no other character at all, freeing her from the nightmare that is "being relegated to stan's shitty girlfriend" in stancest fics

thank you for coming to my tedtalk.

[t00them00n]

more eren hcs pls! where his mom teases him ab the reader and he begged carla to stop bcs of his embarrassment

poor eren lol carla always teases him ab his ears turning red too

I literally am getting so lazy im not built strong enough to write one shots consistenly im so sorry (to whoever requested things before this one IM STILL WORKING ON THEM I SWEAR!!!) im so sorry for skipping the line and writing these hc instead😭😭😭

I love u aswell i love the dynamic of eren, carla and reader its so cute thankyou sm for requesting omg

Bf!eren headcanons

More headcanons/masterlist

Carla edition

- if carla arrives home after eren she’ll always ask why ur not over before even saying hi to him😭

- whenever eren is annoying to u (as always) she smacks him aggressively

- carlas always buying random things for u at the store which eren gets pissed about ‘she didnt even ask me if i wanted one she just said to give it to u’

- she likes to take facebook pictures promoting u and eren as a couple (shes ur biggest supporter frl💀) the pictures are always unfortunate angles tho but its the thought that counts😋

- while u guys were still getting to know each other,, eren 100% went to carla and armin for advice after jean i feel liek carla and armin are a cute little support duo for eren😭 he realises what bullshit jean gave him once he acc listens to them two tho

- ever since eren asked carla for advice tho she doesn’t let it drop and tugs at his ear to make fun of him when he denies things abt u

“Hows ur girlfriend?” His face and ears just heat up as he gets embarrassed “i said to stop calling her that shes not my gf yet”

- when u were meeting her for the first time she defo made it her mission to embarrass the fuck out of eren

- shes defo the type to embarrass him with personal medical stuff like start saying “eren did u remember your bowel medication?” “How is the ointment for your warts working?”

- u always leave eren half the time to help her make dinner and its ur main bonding time bc shes so cutie

- whenever u force eren to help with dinner she gets mad when he cant cut the vegetables properly or is forgetting to mix the pot or whatever she gets pissed smacking his head and gives up asking if you can do it instead

- shes always smacking him poor guy😭 everytime he does get smacked he gets overdramatic and start saying he thinks he just got a concussion or smt💀

- she makes it a point to tell u to make sure that eren doesnt bring down ur grades LMAO even if eren is smart academically she will still do so

- eren doesn’t mind being touchy w u even if his parents are around idk im too lazy now to think of more carla ones 😁🙌🙌

i cant stop thinking abt him tho help its so bad im going clinically insane

- as much as carla is a bit of a bully to eren she defo aggressively loves him,, like she aggressively pinches his cheek when he was a kid whenever he got some sort of achievement

-like the only reason eren is able to be sheepishly proud at stuff hes a bad at is bc carla was such a ‘OMG WELL DONE MY SWEET SWEET EREN😁😁😁😄’ mother when he got a singular gold star or smt😭😭

- as eren got older tho he started getting embarrassed abt how she was so proud of the smallest things (hes rude carlas lovely)

MY MIND IS BLANKING as much as i have eren brainrot i cant think of more😓😓

My requests r open for anything u can ask me any specific headcanons for eren or any character aswell!! Tysm for reading 🫶🫶

[jakeluppin]

A Book Half Unread

teen, 10091 words also on ao3 shout out to @renninflight for reading over this and just all around being Top

Thursdays have become Buck’s favorite day for a few different reasons. One, Maddie and him always have dinner and most weeks she ends up cooking. Two, his boss, Kevin, brings in bagels from his favorite shop down the street. Three, he gets to lead the afternoon storytime and Buck has been getting very good at using different voices for different characters. Four, he really loves it when Maddie cooks.

Five, though. Number five is the biggest reason. Because on Thursdays, Buck gets to see his favorite person in the world: Christopher Diaz. He also gets to see his dad, Eddie, which may or may not be the reason Buck used possibly too much cologne and why he changed his outfit five times today.

Chris has been coming to the library a couple times a week for the last four months or so. Most times, though, he comes with a woman named Carla. But on Thursdays, Chris always comes with his dad. They always come with a large stack of books to return and end up leaving with just as many new ones. Buck figures at this rate, Chris will have the whole library read in five years max.

The first time they spoke, Buck had seen him around a few times already. As one of the children’s librarians (okay, he’s technically not a librarian yet, but he’s months away from graduating with his MLIS), Buck tries to get to know the recurring patrons, but it was soon after summer break had started and they were extra busy so Buck hadn’t gotten a chance yet.

Instead, it was Chris who came up to him, asking if Buck could find a book on becoming a firefighter. Buck immediately drops the books he was reshelving and turns to Chris with a smile and an, “Absolutely I can.” He then asks, “Do you want to be a firefighter then? I really wanted to be one when I was your age.”

Chris laughs. “No, not me. My dad just became a firefighter. So I wanted to find some books to help him be his best. He always tells me if I want to get better at something, I should read and learn more about it. So if I have to do it, he should too!”

Buck can’t help but smile. “Your dad sounds pretty smart. And it’s really nice of you to help him out this way. I’m sure he’ll appreciate that.” They found a few books, adding to the large pile sitting next to Carla, who quickly introduced herself when Buck came over.

Every time Buck saw Chris after this, he would drop whatever he was doing (as long as he wasn’t helping another patron, of course) and go over and say hi and ask him what he could help Chris find this time. Not only was Chris a joy to be around, he also would always ask for books on the strangest topics, which made for a fun time for Buck to try and find so many different books.

Chris would talk to Buck about a lot of things - how school was going, new friends he was making, new video games he was playing. Most of all, though, Chris would talk about his dad. He would talk about lives he saved, fires he put out. The way Chris spoke made Eddie out to be some kind of god. It wasn’t just the things that he did, but also the way Chris would talk about it, the joy, the way he would light up, his voice high-pitch and fast as he would ramble on. A small part of Buck couldn’t help but be jealous, wishing someone would talk about him the same way.

It was about two months after first meeting Chris that Buck met Eddie for the first time. And well, Chris wasn’t far off. If not a god, at least an angel. Buck can’t remember ever seeing someone so beautiful, especially when he smiled.

When they entered, Buck was busy helping a girl and her mom find books on sewing so he wasn’t able to go over and say hi immediately. It didn’t stop him from looking their way whenever he had a chance. With each new glance, Chris would have added yet another book to the pile Eddie was carrying.

When he was finished, Buck made his way over to where he last saw them standing. He only found Eddie, though. Buck was sure Chris was down the next aisle looking for more books. Before he had a chance to say anything, Eddie’s tower of books started to fall. Buck managed to grab the top book as it fell, his other hand reaching up to try and help steady the rest of the books.

“Oh man, thank you,” Eddie said with a sigh. He leaned down and placed the stack at his feet before looking up, his eyes locking with Buck’s. “I swear I’m normally not this clumsy.” He grinned.

“Considering you’re a firefighter, I would hope not.”

Eddie laughed and the sound further confirmed Buck’s god or angel theory. Eddie glanced down and then back up at Buck and said, “So you know I’m a firefighter and I don’t seem to be wearing anything that would indicate I am. So either you’re one of those firefighter fanboys or you must be–”

“Buck!” Chris was back, smiling, and Buck reached out instinctively to offer him a high-five. “Buck, this is my dad.”

“So this is your dad, huh? This is the guy who saved, what was it, a man with a grenade in his leg?”

Chris nodded, the top half of his body bouncing along with. Eddie, on the other hand, looked away when Buck faced him. Buck wondered if he caught him blushing.

“It wasn’t that impressive,” he said.

“I can’t see how that could be true.” Eddie looked up and Buck flashed him his best smile.

“Anyway,” Buck said, clearing his throat and reaching his hand out, “it’s nice to meet you. Chris has easily become my favorite patron. But don’t tell anyone I said that. I don’t think we’re supposed to have favorites.”

“Buck’s the one that helped me find those firefighter books for you,” Chris said.

“That was very nice of you. He was so excited to show them to me when I got home. Said he had the best time and made a really cool friend.”

“Who?”

“You, dummy,” Chris said with a laugh.

“Me? Well that is pretty cool.” Buck smiled brightly at Chris.

“Well, we should probably head out before Chris picks out more books for me to drop.” Eddie leaned down, grabbing the tall pile of books. “It was really nice to meet you, Buck.” He stepped closer to Buck and, in a whisper, said, “I’m glad Chris has found a friend in you.” He pulled away, but Buck could still feel the heat of his breath against his ear.

Buck just nodded, unsure of how to speak, his words failing him completely.

“See you later, Buck!” Chris said, waving.

“Can’t wait!” Buck called out. Eddie turned to look at Buck and smiled. Smiled a smile so beautiful, so sweet, so inviting that Buck knew he was in deep. And knew he didn’t even care.

///

There’s no doubt Maddie is Sick and Tired of hearing Buck talk about Eddie, but he can’t stop himself from relaying his latest Eddie and Christopher Diaz encounter with her the second he arrives for dinner. His jacket isn’t even off before the words, “Maddie, I am absolutely in love,” leave his lips.

Maddie shakes her head slightly, not even looking up from the stove. Not that Buck cares or really even notices, his mind is still stuck a few hours in the past when he managed to make Eddie laugh at a stupid joke. And then of course there was the very slight not exactly hand holding that happened when Buck tried to grab the stack of books but accidentally grabbed Eddie’s hand instead.

So yeah. Buck’s kind of stuck in that moment.

“So, when are you going to ask this guy out?” Maddie asks as they sit down to eat.

Buck’s not sure why the question catches him off guard. He’s been talking about Eddie since he arrived. He’s been talking about Eddie since they first met three or so months ago. So. Why is the idea of asking him out surprising to him? It’s the next logical step, right? Ask out the guy you like for coffee. That’s a normal thing a person does. And yet–

“I don’t know,” Buck mumbles, unable to make eye contact. It doesn’t help that he’s not sure if Eddie likes guys or not. Chris mentioned that his mom passed away before. Other than that, the only other people Chris has ever mentioned in relation to Eddie are Carla and some of his fellow firefighters. It didn’t seem like there was anyone romantic in his life.

But then again, why would Chris tell him that? And Buck has had conversations with Eddie, but most of them have been about Chris. Or sometimes Buck will manage to get Eddie to talk about his latest save. That always leaves Buck’s head spinning and heart racing.

“What’s holding you back?” Maddie asks minutes later. “What’s the worst that could happen?”

Buck chuckles because he knows the answer to that question. Eddie could be extremely homophobic and beat him up and also forbid Chris from ever coming to the library again. Not that Buck sees that as a real possibility, but worst case there it is. And Buck does have a history of making worst-case scenarios come true.

“What about your cute firefighter?” Buck says, changing the topic instead of voicing his fears aloud. “That one paramedic you met at the hospital a few weeks back. What was his name? Howard?”

Maddie sighs and then smiles. “What about him? I haven’t seen him since. Unlike you, he doesn’t come to my work every week. Well, he actually might, but not on a schedule where I can plan my time around seeing him.”

“I could ask Eddie about him. See if he knows him. Get his number for you. You two can fall in love. And I will just continue to live vicariously through you.”

“Or you could ask Eddie out and fall in love and I live vicariously through you.” Maddie pauses and then says, “No, wait. We both could actually live our own lives instead. How about that?”

“You’re no fun.”

They continue to eat in silence. Once finished, Buck starts to clear off the table and gets started on the dishes. Maddie starts to put the leftovers away, half for herself and half for him.

“Okay, what about this?” Maddie says, handing him his Tupperware. “You go ahead and ask Eddie about Howard. If he knows him, you are welcome to ask him out on a double date. You and Eddie, me and Howard.”

“And I would do this why?”

“Because you love me.” Maddie smiles bright, in a way that Buck knows he has no hopes of saying no to. He’s stuck. He has to ask Eddie out. Maybe. Kind of.

He agrees but all he can think about is all the different ways he can get out of this. Hopefully Eddie has no idea who Howard is. Buck has never heard him mention the name so maybe he doesn’t. Or maybe he knows him and he’s actually a terrible person so there’s really no reason for a double date. Buck might be in the clear.

He lets out a long breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. He thanks Maddie for dinner and the leftovers. They hug and Buck leaves. As he makes his way to his car, still thinking of ways he can lie to Maddie about having talked with Eddie, there’s a small part of him, somewhere in the far back of his mind, telling him to go through with it. Telling him that he deserves love too.

Yeah.

Right.

///

When Chris comes in on Tuesday, Buck has a set of books he's already pulled to give to him - books he thinks Chris will find interesting. It’s not something he normally does, but Chris is special to him and Buck loves to do this kind of thing. Chris just happens to be one of the few patrons he feels like he knows well enough to do this for.

“Hey Buck!” Chris says, reaching out for a high five.

They high five and Buck says, “I know how much you love looking around, but I pulled some books already for you that I thought you’d like. You can still look around, but I saw these and thought, ‘Chris would like this,’ so I set them aside for you.”

“That’s so cool!” He starts looking through the stack, eyes wide.

“So Chris, has your dad ever mentioned a firefighter named Howard?”

Chris looks up and squints as he looks at Buck. “Um, I don’t think so.”

Buck nods, filled with a mixture of both relief and dread. Not sure what he expected to feel. But just one feeling at a time would have been nice. At least much easier to understand.

“I’m gonna go look for more books, can you hold onto these?” Chris asks.

“Of course, buddy. Let me know if you need help finding anything.”

Chris wanders over to Carla, seemingly to let her know where he’s going. Carla says something and watches him make his way down the closest aisle. Carla then turns and walks over to Buck.

“Chris says you picked out some books for him already.” The words are simple, a fact, but there’s something in her voice that seems almost accusatory.

“Uh, yeah, I did. He’s not mad, is he? I didn’t want to take away from his experience of finding stuff himself, I just thought he’d like these.”

“He’s not mad.” A pause. Buck feels like there’s more, a but in there. Maybe Carla was mad? Buck is ready to apologize to her when she says, “Chris loves coming to the library, he loves reading. I think most of all, though, he loves coming and seeing you. He says you are the third nicest person he knows. Just behind me and Eddie.”

“Let me guess, you’re number one?”

“You know it.” They both laugh.

“I am glad he thinks so highly of me. But I’m just doing my job.”

Carla laughs. “You’ve done more than that. This is not the closest library to his place. We went to the other one first and a librarian there was, to put it simply, unkind and unprofessional to Chris. He said he never wanted to go back to the library. It took two weeks before I convinced him to try once more and he only agreed to go to a different location.”

“Are you serious? I can’t believe that. Who would ever be unkind to Christopher?”

“I know, I know.” Carla sighs. “It may have just been a bad day for her, but she didn’t need to take it out on him.”

“It just makes me sad because libraries should be a safe place for everyone. But I know they’re not.”

“But this one is because of you.” Carla reaches out and pats Buck’s hand. “And I know Eddie really appreciates it as well. You know, when I saw him the day after you two met, he told me about going and how you helped him with the books. And then he said something like, ‘It’s so great that Chris has someone else he can look up to.’”

Buck doesn’t know how to respond. He’s not even sure if he can, as it feels like there’s something stuck in his throat. He tries to swallow, but it does nothing. Thankfully, Chris is back a few minutes later and Buck helps him use the shelf check-out machine, listening to Chris talk about the books he picked out.

“See you soon!” Buck says, the lump in his throat finally gone. Carla and Chris wave as they walk about.

Buck finds one of the other librarians and lets her know he’s gonna take a beak. He makes his way outside and just starts running. He’s not dressed for running but he has to move, he has to shake the thoughts out of his head while he can.

It’s like this:

Buck is pretty sure Maddie is the only person who has ever really loved him. His parents love a form of him, a version of Evan Buckley, but not him. He’s had relationships, dates, hookups. But nothing real. Nothing where anyone has ever really been close to him. Things always seem to fall apart right before he starts to get close to anyone. Or maybe he’s the one who breaks them.

So. It’s like this:

What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not a homophobic Eddie who beats him up. It’s a loving Eddie, a sweet Eddie, who Buck gets closer to, and right before they can be something, Buck breaks things. He ruins it. Eddie sees Buck for who he is and runs. It crumbles and falls apart right before Buck can have something real, something of his own.

Then, too, there’s Chris. Chris, who is sweet and funny and Buck wants so badly to protect in every way. The thought of ruining things with Eddie also ruining things with him makes his stomach twirl into knots.

Buck eventually stops, unsure of where he is or how far he’s run, but he’s out of breath, his side aching. He leans against a wall, closing his eyes. The thoughts are still there, a swirling cloud of every negative thing Buck has ever thought and ever felt about himself.

He tries to focus on his breathing, square breaths like his therapist taught him. But his breathing is so heavy, so loud, that it doesn't feel like it’s working. It feels like his thoughts are surrounding him, suffocating, taking his breath away. He tries to make his way out, tries to focus on Maddie, tries to think about his favorite TV show, tries to hum his favorite song. Anything to get out the spiral but.

But.

But!

Nothing.

///

When Buck wakes up, he’s sure he must be dreaming or dead or in some sort of alternate reality. Because Eddie Diaz is above him, looking down at him. And Buck can’t think of any reason for this - he especially can’t think of any reason why Eddie’s face seemed to have lit up after Buck awoke.

But then hearing Eddie say, “Buck!” a loud, joyful voice, confirmed that this must be heaven. Not that Buck ever fully believed in heaven but this seems to be proof.

Only there’s something about Eddie reaching out and touching him, his hand gripping tight around his shoulder, that pulls Buck back into reality. He remembers the running, the thoughts, the panic attack. Feeling the hard, cool ground beneath him, Buck realizes he must have passed out. His whole body aches, but nothing too painful.

“Hi Eddie,” Buck manages to say, unsure how long the pause was between Eddie calling his name and his response. His throat feels sore, his voice sounding off. Still, he smiles, because there’s Eddie, right in front of him, with his own smile. Nothing else could be wrong. Nothing else could matter.

“You had quite the fall there, but everything seems to be okay. Well, other than some scrapes on the back of your arm, but those are easy to bandage up. How are you feeling?”

Buck mutters out an, “okay,” which, while true, is far from the full picture. But it’s not like he can say, “I’m feeling sore but honestly I’m just beyond happy that you are here and are smiling as you look at me.”

Eddie’s hand, still on Buck’s shoulder, slides down his arm and into his hand, pulling Buck off the ground. It shouldn't surprise Buck that Eddie is able to lift him up, but the thought still makes his heart race. Probably not a good sign after a panic attack but. Who is he to complain about that?

“Do you know what happened? Did you trip over something?” This time it’s not Eddie speaking, but another firefighter, an Asian man. Buck hadn’t even noticed him on his other side, as he starts to wrap his arm in a white bandage.

“Uh, no, I didn’t trip.” Buck isn’t sure how to respond. He does know what happened, but the idea of talking about having a panic attack in front of Eddie is, well, panic-inducing. Just another one of those things that Eddie could find fault in, could see through to Buck’s core and realize he’s no good.

“If you’re not sure, we can take you to the hospital and have you checked out more thoroughly. But otherwise, you’re medically cleared to go once we finish with this,” he says, waving the bandage.

“No, no, that’s okay. I uh… I had a panic attack.” Buck tries to keep his voice steady, strong, casual, like him having a panic attack is nothing of note. And in some ways it isn’t - seeing as he’s had them off and on since it was seven or so. It’s just a part of his everyday life now.

“Do you have them often? Do you normally pass out from them?”

Buck shakes his head. “I’ve passed out once before, but that was years ago. They just… happen sometimes.”

The other man nods, his eyes holding Buck’s, seemingly looking for something in them that Buck can’t imagine he’ll find. “Well,” he says, finally looking away and back at his arm, “all done here. If anything starts to really hurt, don’t hesitate to see a doctor or call 9-1-1.”

“My sister is a nurse so I’ll probably just show up at her place tonight and beg her to take care of me.”

“Sounds good. It was nice to meet you, Buck.”

“Meet me?” Buck questions. It sounds like a weird thing to say to a random patient of sorts. Or maybe that’s what he always says.

“Yeah, Eddie’s talked about you before. Says you’re Chris’ best friend. Granted, the first time he talked about you, I thought you were also an eight-year-old kid, but I did eventually catch on,” he says with a laugh. He gives Buck a small nod before making his way back to the firetruck.

Buck is surprised to find Eddie still there. Surprised, despite the fact that Eddie is still holding Buck’s hand. But everything has just been so much, so heightened, that Eddie’s touch had just blended into the background with everything else. Like his touch belongs there, like it was also just a part of Buck’s everyday life.

“You sure you’re okay?” Eddie asks. This time his voice is soft, warm. Intimate?

Buck nods, unsure how to make himself speak.

“I gotta head out but… I know your sister is a nurse, but if she’s unavailable or you need anything, you can always call me.” He pulls out a piece of paper and pen and writes his number on it.

Buck takes the offered paper into his hand and somehow manages out a single, “thank you,” as their hands brush once more. Buck’s eyes follow Eddie into the truck and watch as they drive away, Eddie turning and waving at Buck when they pass him.

///

Buck shows up at Maddie’s with take out. He asked her if he could come over, but he hadn’t told her what happened yet. It felt like something best expressed in-person instead of over text. More specifically, in-person over some Thai food and wine.

He lets himself in and calls out for Maddie, placing the food on the table. Maddie comes in just as Buck has finished setting the table. She grabs a bottle of wine from the fridge and the two sit down.

“So, you gonna tell me what happened with your arm?” she asks, pouring the wine.

Buck laughs. “You are not going to believe this.”

“Let me guess, some kid tried to attack you with some child-proof scissors but somehow still managed to cut you.”

“No, I hope that was a once in a lifetime occurrence. But no, I, uh, had a panic attack and passed out.”

“Oh Buck.” Maddie reaches over and rubs her hand on his (unbandaged) arm. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, my arm just got scratched up. Not a big deal. But that’s not the part you aren’t going to believe. It was Eddie, uh, I mean when I woke up, Eddie was above me, in his firefighter uniform. Which, before we get further into the story, I always knew he was hot. There was no question in my mind. But seeing him in uniform? It’s kind of a miracle I didn’t have another panic attack.”

Maddie chuckles. “I know what you mean.” Buck’s sure she’s thinking of Howie. Or maybe just one of those firefighter calendars.

“Yeah, but not only was he above me, looking hotter than ever, he grabbed onto my shoulder, to like, try and wake me up more I think. I was just coming-to and he was calling my name and then touching me and. Maddie, I honestly thought for a second there I had died and was in heaven or something. But then he held my hand to pull him up and he just. Kept holding it as this other firefighter bandaged my arm.

“Then the other guy asked me what happened and I admitted I had panic attack and I would have bet money that Eddie would have left after that. But he didn’t. He kept holding my hand. Then he gave me his number in case I wasn’t feeling well and I needed anything.”

Maddie looks at him, staring intensely for a few moments before saying, “So, he’s obviously into you. You see that, right?”

“You think?” Buck had thought that yeah, maybe Eddie might like him. Unless this was just what Eddie was like with every person he saved? Maybe he kind of flirted with them all, held onto all of them just a little more than medically needed. “Maybe this is just how he is.”

“Did he have a card or something with his number on it?”

“No, he just had a piece of paper he wrote it on.”

“If this is something he does normally or something required as a firefighter, he probably would have cards to give out. But he did that just for you.”

“It could just be because of Chris. He might only care about me for Chris’ sake.”

“Maybe. But I’ve had children patients I have grown close to and none of their parents have given me their phone numbers.”

Unsure of what else to say, Buck mutters a,“Yeah,” and takes a bite of his pad kee mao.

“You gonna call him?”

“No, I feel fine. No need to call him.”

“You could call him and ask him out on that double date. You could call him to say hello. You could call him and tell him how you think he’s the hottest person in the world.”

Buck laughs. “There we go, just a casual, ‘Hi Eddie, thanks for taking care of me earlier. It was so nice to finally see you in uniform. It was so hot. You wanna like make-out or something? Also if you know a firefighter named Howie, my sister would love to make-out with him.’”

“Yeah, super casual, normal conversation.” Maddie smiles and then says. “I just want you to be happy. I know you might not think you deserve it but you do.”

“I am happy,” Buck is quick to say. And he is. Mostly. Happier than childhood Buck ever imagine he would be. He has a job he loves, he’s so close to graduation, his relationship with Maddie is strong, he has friends at work and school, and he has Chris.

Who did he think he was to dare ask for more?

///

The next day, Buck is busy reshelving holds that were never picked up when he feels arms wrap around his waste. He looks behind him and sees Chris. This is the first time Chris (or any patron) has hugged him. When he lets go, Buck fully turns around and says, “Everything okay?”

“Dad said he helped you on a call yesterday. He said you were okay, but I was just really happy to see for myself. Is your arm okay?”

“Yes, my arm is fine. They took really good care of me.”

“Good! I told him if he had messed up and you were actually really hurt I wouldn’t talk to him ever again.”

Buck is amazed and honored that Chris cares so much about him. “I’m glad you care so much, but even if I was hurt, you would still need to talk to your dad. But thankfully I’m okay. Nothing to worry about.”

“Great, then you can help me find books on lighthouses.”

///

With five minutes left on his Thursday shift, there has been no sign of Chris or Eddie or Carla. Buck has started writing texts to Eddie over and over again, asking if everything is okay, but he never sends them. He doesn’t want to seem weird, to highlight how much he looks forward to seeing them each week.

He can already imagine how much Maddie is going to roll her eyes over dinner as he tells her this. She’s going to go on and on about how he should have just sent the text. Or, better yet, she’s gonna say he should have called. And on that call, he should have told him he’s in love or some other stupid idea like that.

(Of course, Buck would never admit to Maddie how badly he wishes he could do exactly that.)

When his coworker, Lucy, comes to take over Buck’s spot behind the desk, he gets up and looks down at the text message he last wrote to Eddie:

Hey! This is Buck. Just wanted to check that everything is okay since you and Chris didn’t come in today. Hope all is well!

He’s added and removed a heart about twenty times. Switched between exclamation points and periods around fifty times. Switched between Chris and Christopher only about a dozen times, though.

With a sigh, Buck slides the phone back into his pocket and heads to grab his backpack from the back room. He makes his way towards the exit when he hears, “Buck!” from behind him.

He turns and there’s Eddie. Christopher isn’t in sight, but Eddie is there, smiling and waving. Buck starts to head towards him and Eddie does the same. They meet and Buck says, “Hey.”

“Hey.”

Buck knows he should be responding but Eddie is looking at him and Buck can’t think words beyond “wow” so he keeps his mouth shut.

“Your coworker said you had just finished your shift. I was worried I’d missed you.”

“Yeah, I was just on my way out. But I’m happy to help Chris out. Where is he?”

“He’s actually not here. I was hoping you could actually help me out.”

“Oh. Of course. How can I help?”

“I was looking for a book on dating. Well, specifically something on how to properly ask someone out. I haven’t really done that since Christopher’s mom died.”

“Well, I can take you to where you might be able to find some books, but I wouldn’t have any specific recommendations. Unless you wanted something written for teens.”

Buck’s not sure how he managed to even speak, the thought of Eddie asking someone out makes him feel lightheaded. But something about being at work made all the difference. Buck could almost always keep his mind focused when he was here. It was only after he left that things would start to fall apart.

Eddie laughs. “No, I know how it worked as a teen. I tried that already, being subtle, dropping hints. It’s just not working.”

Buck’s heart is in his stomach. “Maybe you just need to ask her to go steady.” He tries to make his voice light but it feels sharp, especially saying “her.” Just another reminder that it’s not him. Never him. How could it be?

“How old do you think I am? Do I really look old enough that I ever asked someone ‘to go steady’?”

“I mean, you’re definitely a few years older than me, so…”

Eddie reaches over and gives Buck a light shove but he’s smiling. Buck stays in the moment and is surprised to find that Eddie does too. They just look and smile and Buck knows he should say or do something but he’d rather just be here as long as Eddie will let him.

“So, book recommendations?” Eddie says sometime later. It was probably no more than thirty seconds but Buck couldn’t say for sure either way.

“Right.” Buck looks away, his mind starting to wander again. Rapid. Fast. Thoughts everywhere in a way he feels unsure how to slow down.

“Well, uh, you know I actually have to go meet my sister and, like I said, I’m not as knowledgeable about our adult section so I’m sure someone else would be better off helping you. Malcolm is probably a good bet - he’s a great librarian and also seems to date a lot. So. Yeah. Sorry.”

Buck starts to turn and walk away. He quickly turns back and adds, “Hopefully see you next week. Tell Chris I missed seeing him today.”

And before Buck can second guess himself, before he gives Eddie the chance to ask him what the fuck is problem is, Buck is rushing out the door. He heads in the direction of Maddie’s hospital, thinking she may still be there. And that’s a closer run than all the way to her house.

When he gets there, he finds Maddie packing up her things. He doesn’t even say anything, just pulls her in for a hug.

“Tough day?” she asks, rubbing his back.

“Yeah. Eddie likes someone else.”

Maddie pulls away and gives him this look like she wants to ask a million questions. But before she can, Buck says, “Can we just talk about another time? I don’t want to get too worked up.”

“Fine, but you’re not leaving tonight until you’ve told me what happened.”

Buck sighs. “Can we have something stronger than wine for dinner then?”

“Whatever you want.”

“You really are the world’s best sister, you know that?”

“Yeah, pretty sure I got that title back when you were still a kid."

“True, but I’m all to happy to continue to remind you anyway.”

///

“So, let me get this straight. Eddie asked for a book recommendation about asking someone out on a date. And you ran away.”

Buck groans. “It sounds dumb when you say it like that, but yeah.”

“Sweetie, it’s gonna sound dumb no matter how it’s said,” Maddie says with a laugh. They’re sitting on her coach. Buck is on his third drink, while Maddie is still on her first.

“I just… The thought of helping him ask someone else out on a date was too much. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to. And normally with work stuff, I can manage to deal with whatever emotions are happening. But I don’t know if it was since I was technically off the clock or what, but I just couldn’t.”

“You do realize you acting like this is only going to continue to hurt your relationship. Like Buck, you literally ran away when he asked you for help.”

“I know, I know. I messed up. I get it.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to get at. But you know why you and I have a great relationship and why neither of us have a great one with mom and dad?”

“Because they suck?”

“Well, yeah.” Maddie laughs. “But more importantly you tell me things. I tell you things. You open up to me about how you’re feeling and what’s going on with you. And it’s that openness that brings us together. So if you want that kind of relationship with someone else, you have to be willing to do the same.”

“So I should just go up to Eddie and say, ‘Hey, I’m in love with you and also I have severe anxiety and abandonment issues.’ I don’t quite see that going over well.”

Maddie sighs. “How many times are you going to jokingly tell me how you’re going to profess your love to Eddie instead of just… talking to him?”

“I know. I know. I’m a grown adult and I need to figure out moving past my years of trauma. It’s just hard.”

Maddie reaches out, touches his arm. “I know. But it seems pretty clear to me Eddie likes you. I mean, who knows? Maybe you’re the person he wants to ask out on a date.”

Buck can’t help but laugh at that. “Then why wouldn’t he just ask?”

“Are you serious right now? Mr. Oh-I’m-Too-Scared-To-Tell-Eddie-I-Like-Him has no idea why someone wouldn’t just ask another person out.”

“That’s different. I’ve got all that trauma, remember?” Buck says with a small smile.

“Well, maybe he does too.”

Somehow, Buck honestly had never considered that before. He’d been so caught up in his own stuff that it never occurred to him that Eddie probably has his own, too. His wife died. That alone has got to trauma inducing.

“So what you’re saying is maybe both Eddie and I are a little fucked up and that’s why we are not currently making out right now?” Buck pauses, letting out a long breath. “Wow. Trauma. Talk about a real cock block.”

Maddie rolls her eyes and hits him with a pillow.

///

Buck spends most of his weekend working on papers and thinking about Eddie. He may or may not have written his name on one of his papers as “Buck Diaz.” Thankfully he noticed the mistake before he submitted it.

“What am I, a teenage girl?” he texts Maddie after this. And then: “Maybe you’re right. Maybe I just need to do something so I can think properly. Or at least a little more properly.”

Maddie replies with the word, “Finally,” in all caps, along with a gif of the old lady from Titanic saying, “It’s been 84 years…”

“I’ll tell him next Thursday, okay? So you better be prepared with an amazing dinner and way too much alcohol to help mend my broken heart.”

Maddie simply hearts the message. Buck wouldn’t have said no to some additional encouragement or support, but Maddie has already given him so much. It’s not like she could send just the right gif or say something new that would magically make Buck feel completely safe in this decision.

Buck has never been the most safe person. As a kid, he was always putting himself in danger to get attention. He’s broken bones, dislocated his shoulder more than once. Part of him still thinks its a bit of a miracle he’s even alive. Part of him never thought he’d make it past twenty-one.

But that’s different, isn’t it? This is his heart. And since Maddie left for college, Buck has been slowly building a wall around it. Not that he blames Maddie for that. Or at least not anymore. But once she was gone, it was just easier to close himself off, to hide behind who other people thought he was. No one can reject the real you if they never know it.

///

Other than a few hours Friday morning, Buck isn’t back at the library until Tuesday. His shift is later than normal, too, so he’s not sure if he’ll see Chris or not. It’s been almost a week since he saw him last and that is far too long.

He starts his shift by walking around the children’s library space, picking up books that have been left behind. He’s only a few minutes into this when he spots Chris and Carla at the shelf checkout kiosk. He makes his way over, happy to see them if only for a few minutes.

“Wow, looks like you got some really cool books here,” he says when he reaches them.

Chris turns around and with the biggest grin says, “Buck!”

(There’s something about Chris being so happy to see him that makes Buck’s heart ache. The idea of someone being happy to see him feels Too Much but also better than anything in the world.)

“You weren’t here yesterday. Or Friday!”

“And you weren’t here on Thursday,” Buck counters. “I was here on Friday, actually, but just in the morning. I had a lot of school stuff this weekend so I took a longer weekend to get it all done.”

“So you spent all weekend doing school work? That sucks!”

Buck laughs. “It wasn’t too bad. If you to get the point I’m at with school, you really only take classes that you are interested in. So most of the time it’s actually pretty fun.”

“You mean I won’t have to take math if I don’t want to?”

“That’ll depend on what you want to study, but if you don’t want to, you can plan around it.”

“Did you hear that, Carla? No more math!”

“Yes, but you’re not there yet. So we probably should head home so you can finish your homework up.”

“If I finish everything, can I have ice cream?”

“What do you think your dad would say?”

“I think he would say I deserve it for being the best.”

Buck can’t help but laugh at that. “See you tomorrow?” he asks as Carla finishes putting the books in a bag.

“Probably not, Chris has a couple doctor appointments after school. But I think Eddie was planning on bringing him on Thursday.”

Thursday. Right. The day he’s supposed to tell Eddie he likes him. Part of Buck was hoping Eddie would just never show up again.

“See you on Thursday then, Chris. And hope to see you soon as well, Carla.”

Chris waves enthusiastically before taking off.

Carla holds back a second and then says, “Take care of yourself,” and gives him this look that feels like she can see every part of Buck. Like she can see his anxiety, his fears, his worries. But also his joys, his love, his passion. All of him.

And for some reason Buck doesn’t seem to mind.

///

Buck’s Thursday morning class, Young Adult Literature, is spent mapping out possible conversations with Eddie. He doesn’t want to sound rehearsed, but if he can at least think through some initial ways to respond to any type of reaction, it will be less likely that Buck will completely freeze up. And that would not be ideal if it happened.

By the time his class is over, he’s managed to come up with responses such as, “It’s okay you don’t feel the same. I understand. I hope we can still be friends,” and “I promise, I have no plans to turn Chris gay. I am not even gay. I’m bisexual. But that won’t be talked about with Chris. Please do not stop him from coming to the library.”

What he hasn’t managed to is come up with a response if Eddie says he feels the same. It feels so unlikely, so impossible, that Buck can’t seem to imagine anything further. (Well, other than simply imaging himself tackling Eddie to the ground and making out with him. (But that would not be a great idea since this was going to happen at work and he really didnt want to lose his job.))

As he makes his way to work, he gets a text from Maddie saying, “You got this!” Buck hard disagrees but doesn’t respond.

He gets in early and grabs a bagel in the break room. He sits down and pulls out his notebook and reads over his messy responses. They all feel so wrong. It feels like he’s setting himself up for failure, stuck with only seeing the worst outcomes.

Turning to a blank page, Buck writes on the top, “Eddie likes me too,” and instead of figuring out what to say in the case, Buck allows himself to imagine anything that could happen in the future. Messy bullet points of what could come next.

The double date he promised Maddie.

Spending more time with Christopher, going to the park, to the movies, playing video games at his house.

Holding hands Eddie for real this time.

Holding Eddie.

Kissing Eddie.

Eddie attending Buck’s graduation.

Chris and Eddie joining his Thursday night dinners with Maddie.

Making them breakfast after sleeping over.

Moving in with them.

Being in love.

Being a family.

Buck looks over the rough list, thinking over all the things he could have if he just let himself. He rips the paper out and folds it up before placing it in back pocket. Despite being literally just a piece of paper, it weighs heavy on him as he makes his way out to the floor.

When he sees Chris, the weight seems to add. When he spots Eddie ten feet away with a small stack of books, the weight feels almost too much. Buck looks at the front door and wonders if he should just run for it.

But.

But.

What would that do? How would that help him? The weight would still be there every time he sees Chris, every time he thinks about Eddie. He would be caught in this, weighed down. Drowning.

Instead, he makes his way over to Eddie. Eddie, who smiles at Buck when he sees him. Buck’s heart is racing so fast that he wonders if he’s going to pass out again. Maybe this time he can just pass out right into Eddie’s arms and cut out the middleman.

Instead, he reaches Eddie and gives him the biggest smile he can. He had thought out so many different ways to tell Eddie how he feels, had jokingly practiced different ways with Maddie. He wanted to start by apologizing from running out on him a week ago, wanting to explain what happened, where he was coming from. Explaining that and then telling him how he felt.

Instead, he simply says, “I like you.” A small pause. “A lot.” Another pause. “Like, romantically.” And Eddie is looking at him but Buck can’t seem to make out the expression, can’t seem to understand what he is feeling. Buck thinks through all the possible negative responses he had imagined, trying to place what Eddie is going to say.

Instead… Well, instead Eddie starts laughing.

Which was not something Buck had prepared for.

Buck stares at him, unsure what to do. Does he leave? This is obviously bad. Buck is about to walk away when he hears, “What’s so funny?” behind him and sees Chris there.

Eddie is still laughing as Buck says, “I’m not really sure,” which is only half true, but he’s not going to offer up his feelings and risk Chris laughing at him as well.

“Fuck,” Eddie says a second later, finally no longer laughing. “Sorry,” he adds, although Buck isn’t sure what the apology is for. Him laughing at Buck? Him swearing in front of his kid?

“Chris, could you give us a minute? Maybe pick out a movie for us to watch later?”

“Okay, but when I come back you gotta tell me what was so funny.”

Eddie nods and the two watch as Chris walks off. Buck prepares himself for what comes next. Eddie tells him that he doesn’t feel the same. Eddie tells him they’ll never come back here again. Eddie tells him no one could ever love him.

Instead:

“I didn’t mean to laugh,” Eddie starts out when Chris is out of earshot. “The whole thing just caught me off guard so much that it just kind of happened.” A pause and then he continues, “I’ve been trying for months to drop hints that I like you. Last week, when I tried to get a stupid book recommendation from you on dating, I had thought books were something you understood and either the book itself would help or as we talked about it I would figure out how to tell you directly. Or it would just finally slip out.

“I thought after giving you my number and you not reaching out I was out of luck. But Chimney, the guy who bandaged your arm, swore he could tell that you liked me. I didn’t believe it, but I thought I’d give it once last chance. So I did the book thing. And obviously that didn’t go over well so I was just gonna give up on it. On you.”

“So me telling you I liked you was funny because you were so sure I didn’t.”

“Basically. Yeah.”

This time Buck can’t help but laugh. “I was so sure you didn’t. I felt like it was obvious I liked you because, I mean, who in their right mind wouldn’t? So if you liked me, you would have just asked me out. Like, why not?”

“Because of Chris… He thinks the world of you and if I asked you out and you weren’t interested, I didn’t want that to mess up your relationship with him.”

“And I didn’t want to ask you out because if you weren’t interested I didn’t want you to keep Chris from coming back here. I didn’t want to lose him, too.”

“Well that was dumb. Even if I didn’t feel the same, there’s no way I would have stopped Chris from coming here or seeing you. You matter too much to him.”

“And I never would have messed up with my relationship with Chris if I hadn’t liked you. So I guess we’re both kind of dumb.”

Eddie laughs. “I guess so.”

“So now what?” Buck asks a moment later. He’s looking at Eddie, earnest, open, desperate to find what comes next.

“Well… if it’s all right with you, I am going to reach out and hold your hand until Chris comes back here. And then maybe we could grab dinner when you’re done with work?”

“Yes, please,” Buck says reaching his hand out towards Eddie. While this isn’t the first time their hands have touched, it’s the first time that Buck has realized just what it actually means. And it feels… electrifying and scary but also warm. Comforting.

“Shit, actually, about dinner, though. I have plans with my sister. She always makes dinner for us on Thursday and, although I know she’d more than understand if I ditched, I don’t feel like doing that to her. Especially since without her I would never have told you how I felt.”

“Oh really? You gotta tell me how I can thank her for that.”

“Well, actually, do you know a firefighter named Howie? He came into her hospital a while back and she has a bit of a crush on him.”

“Not only do I know him, but so do you. Chimney’s real name is Howie. But wait… Is your sister a nurse named Maddie?”

“Yeah, how did you know?”

“Because Chim’s been hung up on a nurse named Maddie for weeks now.”

Buck laughs, shaking his head. It feels like one of those big of course moments where everything seems so clearly obvious you can’t help but wonder how you missed it. “Okay so double date then?” he offers.

“Sounds perfect.” Eddie leans in, his face probably close to Buck’s than it should be when he’s working, and then adds, “As long as I get to spend some time alone with you after.”

Buck just nods before somehow managing to pull away. “So what are you going to tell Chris was so funny?”

“Shit, I have no idea. You better come up with some really funny joke.”

“You think he’s gonna be okay with this?” Buck asks, his voice small.

“More than okay. He keeps asking me when you can come over and whenever we go somewhere he asks if you can come along.”

They’re both too busy looking at each other to notice Chris has made his way back before he says, “Why are you holding hands?”

“Uh… because we wanted to?” Eddie says. Buck stifles a chuckle.

“You guys can do that later. Right now I need Buck to help me find more books. He’s my friend right now, not yours.”

“You’re so right, Chris,” Buck says, letting go and moving towards Chris. “Let’s go find some books.” As they walk back, he glances back at Eddie, whose lips are pursed together, holding back a laugh of his own.

///

Between the two of them, Buck and Maddie have changed their outfits a total of twelve times. Chimney and Eddie will be there any minute and Buck is without a shirt and Maddie can’t seem to find any shoes that match her dress.

When the doorbell rings, Maddie ushers Buck to answer, even though he’s the one half naked. Still, he answers the door and beckons them in.

“Guess I’m over dressed,” Chimney says as they step inside.

“Sorry, just running behind a bit. Maddie should be out shortly. I’m gonna finish getting dressed, but make yourself comfortable.” He motions over to the couch. “You guys need anything?”

“Yeah, can I use the bathroom?” Eddie asks.

“Yeah, it’s just down the hallway over there.”

“You wanna show me?”

“Uh… yeah, sure.” Buck leads Eddie down the hall, not completely sure why. It’s very easy to find the bathroom, but he’s happy to help however he can.

When they reach it, Buck is about to turn around and leave when Eddie pulls him inside. He closes the door and before Buck can say anything, Eddie has lifted him up on the sink.

He leans in and kisses along Buck’s jawline. He pauses, his lips inches away from Bucks, and says, “I really thought I’d make it through at least most of the date before I had to kiss you. But then I show up and you’re shirtless… Was that intentional?”

Buck laughs. “No, I was just having a hard time picking out what to wear. Not that I’m complaining,” he adds.

“Good.” Eddie’s voice is hoarse and Buck can feel his breath hot on his skin. Their eyes are locked until Buck can’t take it anymore. He leans forward and kisses Eddie.

There are times when you’ve thought about something so often or imagined it too many times that the real thing can’t compare. Like the ice cream shop Maddie and him used to go to as kids wasn’t as good as he remembered it being when they were back last Christmas. Or like when Buck started his first graduate school class, it was a lot more boring than he had imagined it would be.

But kissing Eddie wasn’t that. Kissing Eddie was everything and more. Kissing Eddie felt right in ways Buck hadn’t even known existed. Kissing Eddie was, simply put, perfection.

Buck is breathless by the time they pull apart. His heart is racing in a way that almost worries him, worries he’s about to have another panic attack. But it’s not that, not the same. And when Eddie starts kissing down Buck’s neck, he feels grounded, solid, safe (even as Eddie bites just so (causing Buck to groan)).

Somehow Buck manages to say, “I should probably finish getting ready. Or we’ll miss the reservation.”

“You sure you want to do that?” Eddie asks, pausing between each word to kiss him, his lips so light against his skin.

“No,” Buck admits. “But we do kind of owe Maddie and Chim, don’t we?”

Eddie laughs and Buck can feel it vibrating against his skin. “I suppose you’re right. I’ll meet you out there.”

Buck jumps off the counter and says, “I’ll be sure to have a shirt on by the time you come out,” with a smirk.

Eddie rolls his eyes as Buck closes the door behind him.

///

None of the shirts Buck has with him cover the marks Eddie left on his neck. But somehow Buck doesn’t mind.

Epilogue.

It’s graduation and Buck feels dumb in his graduation robes. He’s just grateful that alphabetically his name will be read close to the beginning and once that’s done, he can take them off.

It feels surreal when they call his name and he walks across the stage. He looks in the audience and sees a small cluster standing up and cheering him on. They’re a little blurry at this distance, but Buck is fairly sure he can make out Chris on his dad’s shoulders.

As soon as he can, he makes his way over to them. Maddie is the closest and the first one to hug him. “I am so proud of you,” she says and Buck knows she means it. He wouldn’t be surprised if she, too, didn’t think he would make it past twenty-one. And yet!

Chris is still on his dad’s shoulders when Eddie comes over. Buck gives them a hug, his arms around Eddie’s back and Chris’ legs. Eddie can’t really hug him back, but Chris wraps his arms around Buck’s head.

“So what’s the plan?” Buck asks once he’s pulled away.

Eddie, maneuvering to get Chris back on the ground says, “Last I heard, Carla has broken into your house and is making dinner. I think Chim and some of your friends from work were coming over as well.”

“So does that mean we don’t have time to stop for ice cream?” Buck asks.

“Ice cream!” Chris calls out. “There’s always time for ice cream.”

Eddie sighs. “Guess we’re getting ice cream. You wanna join, Maddie?”

“I told Chim I’d meet up with him before dinner. I’ll meet you then.” She walks over and gives Buck another hug. “I’m sorry mom and dad didn’t come,” she says, voice small.

“It’s okay,” Buck says as she pulls away. And it is. Mostly. Part of him wishes they were here, wishes they cared enough about him to understand what a big deal this was. But others did. And maybe that was enough.

///

Dinner is, of course, amazing. Carla is a phenomenal cook and it was clear she went all out on this meal. Beyond that, too, everyone is chatting and happy and Buck’s apartment feels so alive in a way he’s not used to.

When Buck finally has a chance, he sneaks away to his room for a minute alone. He goes over to his desk and opens the top drawer and finds a worn out, folded piece of notebook paper. He unfolds it and finds the “Eddie likes me too,” list. Since he first wrote it, he’s been marking things off as they’ve happened.

The double date he promised Maddie.

Spending more time with Christopher, going to the park, to the movies, playing video games at his house.

Holding hands Eddie for real this time.

Holding Eddie.

Kissing Eddie.

Eddie attending his graduation.

Chris and Eddie joining his Thursday night dinners with Maddie.

Making them breakfast after sleeping over.

Moving in with them.

Being in love.

Being a family.

He grabs a pen and crosses out, “Eddie attending his graduation.” He looks over the last few items. He’s sure moving in, if it does happen, is still far off. Even though Buck already spends about half of his time there.

Buck remembers marking off, “Being in love,” as soon as he came back from that first double date. Not that he needed to wait that long. He could have just as easily crossed it off as soon as it he wrote it.

“Being a family,” feels far too soon as well. It hasn’t been that long and the last thing Buck wants to do is feel like he’s taking up space that doesn’t belong to him.

But maybe. Maybe it’s not that far off. It was Chris and Eddie who were there today when Buck’s own parents couldn’t have bothered to come visit. They were the ones to arrange this little party. And Eddie’s the one who has told Buck over and over how much he means to him.

And Buck’s not sure what exactly it means to be a family. Other than Maddie, he’s never really had one. Maybe he’s way off, maybe he’ll never really find it.

But this, this, feels like family.

And Buck realizes that’s enough.

[taintedevesayori]

Sayo's Route: Dark Fate - Ecstasy 02

Sayo's Route Masterlist

Sayo: Hm~ Hm~ It really is nice to just relax and watch the stars.

-Sayo turns to Shin, who is laying on the grass in the garden beside her

Sayo: Have you really never done this before?

Shin: No. What reason would I have for laying around and staring at the sky?

Sayo: The stars are pretty. I like to watch them as I get lost in my thoughts…or even just not think at all. 

Shin: Hmm…I can’t imagine that head of yours being empty, even if you are foolish sometimes. 

Sayo: I don’t know if I should take that as an insult or a compliment…

Shin: Take it as a compliment. I’m saying that brain of yours actually works most of the time. 

(Most of the time…Now I really don’t know whether or not to take it as an insult…)

Sayo: Haah…You really are blunt.

Shin: Hehe…You’re one to talk. 

Sayo: Fufu…You have a point. Say…You’ve never told me…Why are you rushing to have kids…? I get you want to rebuild our race but…don’t we have plenty of time for that?

Shin: …Nii-san and I decided together that we needed to find a way to continue our race. Mertz only knew of Yui, who is a human with the heart of a Founder. She has a human life span, so naturally we wouldn’t have the time to dawdle with her. But then we found you by accident. I never really considered that I could deviate from the plan Nii-san and I came up with, even though you aren’t a human like she is. If I brought it up to Nii-san, he would probably think it was foolish to wait even though we could take our time. 

Sayo: I see…

Shin: Are you really that against having my children?

Sayo: It’s not…that simple…

Shin: What? You don’t want kids at all or something?

Sayo: I…never thought about it before this…I just…

Shin: What is it?

Sayo: …Nevermind…

Shin: I won’t understand if you don’t tell me.

Sayo: I don’t want to explain it right now…It’s not…a pleasant conversation…I would rather just relax and watch the stars…

Shin: But you will tell me, right?

Sayo: Eventually…

Shin: …Fine. I’m holding you to that. 

-Meanwhile, the Mukami and Sakamaki brothers are all gathered in Karlheinz’s castle in the demon realm

Kou: When are we going to rescue Sayo?! It’s been too long…!

Shu: If you would like to run head first into danger during the eclipse, be my guest…

Ayato: He does have a point, though…Are we really going to wait until the eclipse is over to take them back? 

Kou: It could be too late by then! They already killed Sayo once!

Reiji: Yes, but as we told you, it was to break the seal on her powers as a Founder. Knowing that she is half Founder, I am less worried about her well being. She is fully capable of taking care of herself. She would most likely scoff at us for thinking she is so weak. 

Subaru: …You have a point.

Laito: But does that mean we let those guys keep their hands on her…? I agree she can handle herself, but if she was strong enough to get away, she would have escaped already. 

Yuma: Yeah. She ain’t gonna sit back and take it when she could escape. Either she’s in a position where she can’t try, or she’s tried and they’ve stopped her. 

Kou: Either way, we have to do something! I’m tired of sitting and waiting when she’s in danger!

Azusa: I agree…I am worried about her as well…

Ayato: Not to mention the pancake…she can’t protect herself at all…

Laito: Nfu…Knowing Sayo-chan, wouldn’t she try to protect Bitch-chan, though? She did get killed trying to protect her once.

Ayato: Probably…

Reiji: You would be fools to rush in and take on those Founders. Waiting until the eclipse has passed is the most rational option. 

Kou: But-!

Karlheinz: Calm yourselves, children. 

-They turn to face him as he enters the room

Karlheinz: I have already made plans to meet with Carla and Shin. We are holding a gala very soon. I will be sending them an invitation. My hope is that they bring Sayori and Yui along. 

Reiji: That does not change the fact our powers are weaker than theirs during the eclipse. Do you expect us to overpower them to take those two back?

Karlheinz: You will do nothing so barbaric during my gala. On the contrary, I believe I have something that will make Sayori return of her own free will.

Ayato: What about the pancake?

Karlheinz: Sayori would never leave Yui with those two. If Sayori leaves, she will bring Yui with her. 

-The brothers exchange looks

Reiji: Why are you so certain of this?

Karlheinz: Let us just say I have my own way of…keeping an eye on the situation. Sayori is Eve. She should be with her Adam. 

Shu: …Who, exactly, are potentials for Adam? Even though you aren’t worried about their powers, you’ve shown no real concern over getting those two back, even if Sayo should be with Adam, as you say. So who can become Adam? Is it just those of us here? Or are those two Founders able to as well?

Kou: …?!

Karlheinz: …Fufu…Worry not, Shu. I will be giving Sayori a…test, of sorts, if she attends the gala. It will force her to make a choice. That choice will show what is most important to her. Then her Adam will be made clear. 

-Before anyone can ask anything more, he leaves the room

Reiji: Even if he did not answer directly, we can assume he now considers those two Founders potentials for Adam…

Kou: Tch…! After everything…you’re saying…I might not be Adam after all…?!

Ruki: Calm down, Kou…It sounds like he has some sort of plan. Whether you are Adam or not depends on Sayo. That is always how it’s been.

Laito: Nfu…Still, it sounds like there’s some doubt, don’t you think? One of those Founders could be Adam. What a naughty girl, Sayo-chan is…Hey, Kou-kun…Do you think she fell for one of them? Maybe that’s why she hasn’t escaped?

Kou: Ngh…! Don’t even joke about that! Sayo would never!

Ruki: This isn’t the time to be fighting, you two. There’s a chance Sayo might not show up to the gala. We should try coming up with a plan on how we’re going to get those two back if they don’t come. 

Kou: Screw waiting for the gala…! I want to get her back right away…!

Ruki: …I understand, Kou, but Karlheinz is backing us if we follow his plan. If we go off on our own, that may not be the case anymore. 

Kou: Like I care! I just want her back, no matter what!

Ruki: Haah…I’ll help you…but for now, just calm down, alright?

Kou: Fine…

[bones4thecats]

If it's okay can I please ask for Carla and shin and Azusa but how would they react to kianna only rejecting their feelings because kianna didn't want too put them in danger because kianna knows how jealous and

unpredictable the sakamaki brothers can be so they end up getting fed up with it and decided just to take her from the mansion but they soon see her sitting on the steps of the manor after poisoning all the brothers with poison that can kill a vampire in order to be with him

and kianna:

Type of Writing: Request Characters: Carla Tsukinami, Shin Tsukinami, and Azusa Mukami Name: Escapes The Brothers to Be With {Character} Requester: @nunezs-stuff

A/N: Honestly, when I first read this I could not think of anything. But, I did eventually grip my idea! Anyways, I hope you enjoy this, lil bubble🫧

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🦇 Carla could handle himself against the brothers easily, he was a founder, one that has lived for many more years than them combined

🦇 The First Blood King held his status to a high-degree, especially around any creature he deemed unworthy of his amusement, including you

🦇 But, when he realized how much his chest warmed up whenever he saw you smiling and messing around with Yui, your older sister, he just sighed and began making plans

🦇 The Sakamaki brothers could do nothing against him when it was one-by-one, but when he confessed and proposed a marriage, you were obviously weary because of them and your sister

🦇 Carla had allowed you three months time to figure out an arrangement for you both, one to keep you and your sister safe

🦇 Once the three months were over, the eldest Tsukinami brother took way to the Sakamaki Manor, expecting to see you smiling with your sister while the brothers stayed at the doorway

🦇 What he did not expect was to see the Manor burning with you standing out front with a small bag of things

🦇 He ran up to you and watched as you smiled at him while he looked at the hair-clip your sister once wore, and he put two-and-two together

🦇 You killed the brothers to avenge your now-deceased sister, and you stood outside awaiting him for around an hour, just watching the Sakamaki Manor burn with a small grin on your face and tears running out your eyes

🦇 Carla never thought he'd love you anymore, but apparently, he could

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🐺 Shin was not amused when you turned him down, he was one of the founders of their species! How could you turn him down?!

🐺 He never took into thought about the brothers you lived with, the ones that Shin always found annoying and 'far to arrogant to be in your presence'

🐺 Like his brother, Shin knew the brothers would not be able to fight against him one-by-one, but if they were to join forces? It'd be a struggle for both sides

🐺 He gave you a few weeks to figure everything out, and he was pacing around his home awaiting you to send him a letter so he knew to come get you

🐺 When he heard from one of his subordinates that the human named Yui Komori was deceased, he launched up and demanded to be told about you

🐺 Carla just sighed and gave him the information, knowing no-one was going to stop him from getting there that night

🐺 Shin ran as fast as his wolf-form could take him, and when he arrived and found you leaning against a tree with a burnt-out match in your hand, he smirked

" Did 'ya burn the Sakamaki Manor down or something? "

🐺 You smirked and let a tear fall down your cheek, answering with a solid yes

🐺 He laughed and rubbed your head, causing your hair to get messy as he looked through the woods at the burning manor and he looked at you, gifting you with a very proud smile and thumbs up

🐺 Shin slept soundly that following day knowing you were in his arms and away from those perverse vampire brothers

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋆⋄✧⋄⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅

🩹 Azusa is a very interesting case here

🩹 Like his other brothers, he knew that their 'adoptive father', Karlheinz, did not truly care about his sons, as they were just pawns in his plans

🩹 And he also knew that Karlheinz found small amounts of value in him and the other Mukami boys

🩹 He only saw you as a vessel for blood like the rest of the boys, but after watching you wrap bandages around his legs and arms from the excessive damage he does to them, he felt weird

🩹 Azusa felt like his stomach was doing somersaults over and over again whenever he saw you

🩹 When he proposed you moving in the Mukami Manor with him and his brothers, you turned him down, saying how you loved him back, but the brothers you lived with posed a threat

🩹 He understood why you were so fearful of them, they were quite violent when 'necessary'

🩹 But, his brothers and him also proved themselves violent against them as well, since they had Kalheinz's blood flowing through them as well

🩹 Unlike the previous two men, Azusa did not give you a time limit on your confession, since he knew the boys could be stubborn, and you wanted to bring Yui with you so she was safer

🩹 Azusa heard from Ruki about a fire being in the forest, so they all rushed in the direction to find you looking dead-cold at the burning Sakamaki Manor, throwing stick by stick inside to keep it ablaze

" My Love? Are you alright? "

🩹 You nodded and wrapped your arms around his form, humming his favorite song while the other boys tried figuring out ways to speak to Karlheinz about the happenings that night

[katerina-marie]

Bathtub Confessions (Eres Tú)

Sukuna x Reader

Part 4

The one where you learn that certain confessions don't always have to be romantic, but others certainly do.

Word Count: 5.7k

Notes: Sukuna x Reader celebrity!au. Takes place directly after part three. Song of inspiration: Eres Tú by Carla Morrison

Content: bandmember Sukuna x actor female Reader (referred to as such, but left descriptively vague), no y/n, manager Nanami, bodyguard Toji, actor Gojo, found family vibes, some angst, fluff, crack, humor, out of character Sukuna (he's so fluffy), suggestive, maybe lightly explicit, tho no sex actually occurs (sorry), so please avoid accordingly.

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4

-------------------------------------------------------------

“Should I change my name?”

A beat of silence. A drop of water.

“No.”

“Should I get a wig?”

Another beat of silence. A clink of glass on tile.

“No.” 

“Should I flee the country?”

A minuscule half second of silence.

“Not if you’re going to quit paying me,” Toji grumbled. 

His response made the frown on your face dip down further on your lips, and you rolled your head against the back of your porcelain tub to stare at the ceiling.

“Is that all you see me as?” you whined, “A paycheck?”

“You want me to lie?” 

“That’s it, I’m going to drown myself.” 

That gets a long, heavy sigh from your bodyguard and you can hear him readjust himself on the chaise lounge seated in the middle of your expansive bathroom before he carries on.

“First off,” he grunts, “no you’re not. That would require me to pull your sad self naked from the tub, and we both know we don’t want that. Second…you know you’re not just a paycheck.” Toji goes quiet for a moment. “I’d like to think that we’ve become a sort of family over the last couple years, you, me, and Nanami. Shoot, even Megs too when he’s around.” 

His soft confession brings a smile to your face, and you turn your head to the right to look in his direction from behind a large mahogany privacy screen. It stands tall, wrapping just barely around the ends of your tub where your feet and head lay, keeping you securely tucked away from any prying eyes. It found its way there long ago, because this wasn’t the first time that Toji had played therapist from his dedicated chaise while you lounged in a hot bath and the two of you shared a bottle of wine. 

“Thank you,” you whispered to him, “I’m grateful you’re my friend…and my family.” 

“Don’t worry about it, I know you are. But don’t go on getting too upset or sentimental just because you’ve had a rough day. Things haven’t been that bad,” Toji said, and you groaned at the reminder.

After finally arriving home safely—no thanks to you—Toji immediately went into damage control mode and spent the afternoon fielding phone calls and text messages, though nothing too serious had been blown your way yet. 

You had received a none-too-pleased email from the producer of the movie you and Satoru were co-starring in, accusing you of sabotaging the release by not waiting to reveal your relationship with Sukuna until after the movie premiered in a few short months (as if he couldn’t tell that what happened today wasn’t by choice). Luckily, Satoru swooped in with his sweet-talking words and buttered the producer right back into promising extra money for a job well done. Though Satoru’s idea of fixing things was convincing the producer that the only premise that sold better than a classic love story was the angst of a good ol’ fashioned love triangle, and he was more than happy to play the jilted lover dead set on winning you back. You wondered what it must be like to live in such delusions. 

What really put the cherry on top of a bad day was the text you received from Sukuna shortly after arriving home. It wasn’t anything particularly worrisome, a straight to the point, “I’ll call you this evening, busy smoothing a couple things out, x,” but it had you in a fit nonetheless. After sending a quick affirmation back, you threw your phone across the couch in your living room and flung yourself onto the nearest surface to bemoan your miserable existence. Toji was not amused when that nearest surface happened to be his chest, and he only offered you five minutes of soaking his shirt with snot and tears before he drug you upstairs to your bedroom, turned on the hot water to your tub, and shoved you into the bathroom with a promise to return with wine if you quieted down for just a second. 

So here you were, an hour later, soaking under a mountain of peppermint scented bubbles while you toed at the hot water handle at the end of the tub. 

“You think if I begged hard enough Nanami would let me come stay with him for the rest of his vacation? I’m afraid I’m in need of a tropical escape,” you told Toji, already calculating in your head how quickly you could pack your bags and be on the next plane to Malaysia. 

Toji chuckled, “No, I don’t think he would, considering he refused to tell us anything more about his trip other than what country he’d be in and when he’d be back. You showing up would take seven years off his life. Add three more if he opens up the door to you sobbing like you’ve been all day. Besides, running away to another country just because you’re afraid to talk to your boyfriend is a cowardly move.” 

You ‘tsked’ at him for calling you out on poor behavior and slouched further down into the hot water in shame-filled defeat. Instead of wallowing in it further though, you popped your ankles up on the rim of the tub, tossed your arms back to hang behind your head, and clapped twice to get Toji’s attention.

“Another glass of wine, please,” you mocked in as snobby an accent as you could manage.

“What do you take me as? I’m not your damn butler,” he complained, but you could hear the quick successive cracking of his back as he stood up from the chaise and stretched. 

“Just one more and that’ll be it, I promise.” You considered what else could entice him into doing your bidding. “I’ll let you be done for the evening and take the day off tomorrow if you also bring me a plate of cheese and crackers, please.” 

Toji was silent before letting out a begrudging “fine” and shuffling out the door without another complaint. 

You marveled in the silence, nothing but the occasional lap of water as you adjusted yourself in the tub to break it. After a few minutes, however, you realized the absence of conversation was the perfect environment for your thoughts to run unhindered, and that was not something you cared to partake in at the given time. Trying to concentrate on anything else though was futile, and perhaps trying to wade through your own head for a few minutes would leave you feeling better when you chose to pointedly ignore it once your butler…ahem, Toji, returned with your snacks.

Besides falling on national television—and underneath Gojo Satoru nonetheless—you had a particularly difficult time deducing from yourself what exactly about the accidental revelation of your relationship with Sukuna caused you so much embarrassment. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to be associated with him or that you always intended for the relationship to remain secret until it had reached its course; your desire was quite the opposite, actually. It was a feeling best left to baser animals and bedroom activities, but the idea of staking a claim, proving that he belonged to you in a way, was not unappealing and not something you could talk your way out of thinking, especially with the world the two of you lived in. 

If you got down to it, the real problem lay in your unfortunate habit of caring what people thought. You didn’t want Sukuna to see you as childlike, only a few years younger than him in age but miles behind in maturity. You didn’t want him to view today’s incident as a misfortunate foreshadow into the “what if’s” of your relationship. Neither did you want the world looking at the two of you and questioning how exactly something like it came to be. Where Sukuna was all sharp angles and dark colors, suave nonchalance and carrying a presence that demanded to be seen, you felt painfully opposite. You wouldn’t self-deprecate and believe that you were unworthy of standing beside him, but just cognizant of how different you felt. More like something that could be just as appreciated, but more likely to be overlooked and favored over something brighter. A “mismatched pair” is what they would call you, something that struck you so vividly that the pressure in your chest increased ten-fold. You knew he would hear it, see it, be made aware of it, and while he may not agree right away, you wondered how long it would take for the sphere of influence to get to him too. The anticipatory grief (as your actual therapist called it, usually followed by anxiety) of waiting for someone you valued so much to realize that he had better options was enough to make you consider running away from the whole thing entirely. 

And that’s how you came back to scheming your departure from the country. If you hurried, you could probably towel off, pack a bag, and slip out the back before Toji realized (you wondered if the big oaf had decided to take a nap instead of bringing you snacks for how long it’d been since you last heard him). Surely Nanami wouldn’t abandon you in your time of need if you were wailing at him over the phone in the airport of a foreign country. 

But alas, you heard your bathroom door open, effectively cutting off any means of escape.

“It’s about time, Toji. What took you so long?” He neither spoke, nor took another step. “Eh, no matter. Bring me my snacks, please.” 

Footsteps continued again and before you could chastise Toji further, a voice spoke up from right behind your privacy screen. 

“Should I be concerned with the normalcy of your bodyguard attending to you while you’re naked in the bath?” 

The shock of hearing Sukuna’s voice caused you to jolt, sending your legs into the water with an unmistakable splash and leaving you to scurry back into a sitting position from where you had slipped dangerously close to submerging your whole head underwater. The indecency of it all would kill you if this conversation that was about to happen didn’t.

“I assure you,” you started, hoping you didn’t sound as wrecked as you felt, “it is not nearly as salacious as you made it out to be.” 

Sukuna hummed. “Really? Because it sounded as if you were expecting him, and when I ran into him downstairs he told me to tell you that he would be back up to deliver wine and cheese shortly. Sounds like a romantic evening to me if I’ve ever heard one.”

You were relieved to hear a hint of amusement in your boyfriend’s voice, but horrified at what he was saying. 

“Please stop implying things that’ll make me gag.” 

Sukuna chuckled, but was quiet for a minute until, “You have five seconds to tell me to stop before I move this privacy screen so we can talk face to face.” 

You shot upwards, looking around hurriedly as you tried to scrape the remaining bubbles in the tub to strategic places in order to maintain your dignity, though you realized a moment later that it was probably unnecessary. With a second left, you brushed tendrils of your hair away from your face and wiped your thumb across the top of your lip to remove any remnants of a wine stain from your skin. In the next, Sukuna was pushing aside the privacy screen and looking down at you with a blank—but not unkind—expression. You eyed him warily as he walked up to the edge of the tub and dropped a cushion from the chaise Toji was sitting on earlier to the floor. He settled himself down onto it and then placed his elbow on the edge of the tub so he could lean in close to you. 

“Hello,” you whispered to him, settling both your arms down next to his and then resting your head against them. A small smile crossed his face.

“Hello to you too.” 

You were surprised at the lack of tension in his face, no clenched jaw or heavy brow to be seen, and as you trailed your eyes further down his torso you noticed its absence there too. His shoulders were relaxed, and his chin was cupped in the hand propped up on the tub so he could gaze at you with those unnervingly observant eyes of his. You wished he’d been wearing a t-shirt instead of the thin navy turtleneck he currently had on so you could focus your stare on the black tattoos decorating his body. Aside from being intricate, and distracting, they always gave you something to look at when meeting his eyes felt like too much. 

The tenderness of Sukuna’s knuckles meeting your temple forced you to look back up at him, only to see that he was following the path his fingers were making over your skin. They grazed over your cheekbone, feathered down the bridge of your nose, and then were skimming over your mouth, his thumb catching ever so lightly on your bottom lip. His hand didn’t linger there, and it was quick to skate over your jaw before his thumb landed under your ear and the rest of his fingers tangled in your hair while his palm cupped your neck. With a slide of his other hand up your arm and down your back to press between your shoulder blades, Sukuna brought you close enough to him that he was able to reach the rest of the way over the tub and kiss you. His lips remained pressed against yours for a second or two before he broke away, hesitated, and then leaned in to do it once more, twice, and a third time. 

You were the one that put space between the two of you, sitting back in the water and drawing your knees to your chest. You desperately needed to inhale without smelling the crispness of his aftershave or the spiced warmth of his cologne, both of which were guilty of making your head spin. 

“You’re not mad at me?” you asked, breaking the silence before he had a chance to, before you lost your nerve. You watched as his head tilted slightly to one side, his expression a touch befuddled, but full of disbelief. 

“Why would I be mad at you?” He questioned slowly, moving himself to his knees on the cushion so he could go back to resting his arms on the tub. 

“I don’t see why you wouldn’t be,” you told him, your voice a bit sharp. “I inadvertently told anyone with access to the internet that we were dating, without even talking to you about it, and then proceeded to flee the scene like a coward instead of getting back out there to present myself as confident enough to own up to my mistakes. Not to mention the fall with Satoru right before. It’s embarrassing. The whole thing made us—me—look like a giant mess!” 

Your voice cracked on the last word, and you bit down on the inside of your cheek until you tasted iron. Sukuna looked pained, and he reached a hand out to play with your fingers as they sat at the top of your knees. 

“You’re not a mess,” he said, rubbing his thumb in small circles over the middle knuckle of one of your fingers, “and I’m not embarrassed either. I never intended to keep us a secret, and I’m not trying to implicate you when I say this, but I don’t think I ever implied doing so that evening.” 

“Well, yeah,” you huffed, the twinkle in his ochre-brown eyes and the mischievous grin on his face as he hinted to the night the two of you cemented your relationship into the category of “official” making your face get warm, “we didn’t do a whole lot of talking after that point.” 

You tried to jerk your hands out from under his to cover up your cheeks, but Sukuna was unrelenting in his hold, and you gave up before continuing on, “I know you never implied that you wanted to keep our relationship hidden, but that’s been the theme of whatever we’ve had going on these last ten months. We were sneaking around from the very beginning, we lied about it to Yuji and Choso, and then let’s not forget about the whole incident of being caught by Satoru,” you pointed out to him, feeling the slightest bit smug when he looked chagrined. 

“I apologized for that,” he reminded you, his voice tone faintly defensive. You squeezed his hand in comfort. 

“You did, and I’m not upset about it.” 

You took a deep breath and cast your eyes everywhere except Sukuna, taking in the details of your bathroom as you tried to muster the courage to share your insecurities with him. He never let his attention on you deviate, and between that and the heat of the water you had been in for almost two hours, you were beginning to feel lightheaded, and everything finally came rushing out of your mouth.

“I feel like we’re mismatched! It feels like everytime someone looks at us, they’re going to wonder why, like we don’t fit well together. And I’m not saying I believe that, or that you would believe that, and I know this whole thing sounds ridiculous because it is ridiculous, but it’s hard to get outside of my own head about this when I already love you so mu—,” 

The startled look on Sukuna’s face is what clued you in to the fact you had said something you had not intended to. You snapped your mouth shut with an audible click of your teeth and used your feet to push away from him and to the otherside of the tub, wrenching your hands out of his grasp. 

If someone asked why you never liked to talk about your feelings, this was why. Why the words that came out were never as eloquent—or as sane—as the thoughts in your head was something you’d pay so much money to figure out. And Kento was about to have no choice in letting you hide out with him for the rest of his vacation because you were no longer asking, and if he was interested in keeping his job he would do so without complaint. Even so, you considered that forcibly releasing Kento from the grip of a career that was so wrought with overtime would be another mercy for the overworked sal—,

“You know what I think,” Sukuna murmured, bringing you out of your own head to focus with rapt attention on the blissfully contented expression he wore. His fingers curled around the tops of your arms as he reached out to slide you back to his side of the tub, and when you were close enough again, he pushed his nose into the plushness of your cheek to nuzzle there affectionately. You were transfixed by a small tan freckle on the edge of his eyebrow that you somehow hadn’t noticed before.

“I think this whole time you’ve been so focused on pleasing everyone around you—which isn’t necessarily unadmirable, I promise—and treading with extreme care to take into consideration my feelings about our relationship that you haven’t noticed what’s been going on…or I haven’t been doing a very satisfactory job of making it apparent.” 

He said the last part more under his breath, but didn’t give you a chance to interject with an objection before he carried on, making intently sure your eyes were on his. “From the very beginning, even when all I had of you were fleeting touches and secret meetings in questionable places, I was always bound to fall in love with you.” 

You didn’t know what to say, what to think, and trying to wrap your head around the fact that what you considered to be one of the worst days of your life was ending with unintentional confessions of love in your bathtub wasn’t helping. So you did what you could and traced a finger down one of the tattoos under his eyes, hoping he would keep talking.

“We aren’t a mismatched pair,” he insisted, his eyelids fluttering slightly at your gentle touch, “I think we compliment each other quite well, so please, don’t try to hide or run away.” He fixed you with a pointed look that told you Toji had warned him of your current status as a flight risk, and you ducked your head slightly and in a way that you hope conveyed repentance.  

“Because you must know, I will always be chasing after you.”

You wasted no time in hurrying to crush your lips against his and throw your arms around his neck, because what else was there to do when words couldn’t suffice, other than to surrender to the melding of bodies? 

Sukuna reciprocated in fervor, breaking apart from you only to stand up from his place on his knees, and reached down to cup his hands under your bottom, lifting you out of the tub and securing your thighs around his hips while his mouth found yours again.

He seemed to care not that you were dripping water on the floor and soaking the front of his clothes from where you were pressed tightly against him. He stumbled back a couple steps until the back of his knees made contact with the chaise, and the two of you fell back onto it. Sukuna adjusted you to straddle his lap, his hands clasping at your hips while your hands scrambled down his back to pull up his shirt. You ground your pelvis down against him as he dropped his head to mouth at your neck, and the rough groan that elicited from his throat had you deciding that your bed was too far away to justify taking time to separate, and that the convenience of the chaise was worth going to the trouble of having to buy Toji a new one. You had no more than let the thought flutter through your head when an obnoxiously loud knock resounded through the bathroom. 

“You two haven’t drowned yet, have you?” 

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. 

Sukuna ripped his lips away from where he was sucking a mark into the space where your shoulder blended into your neck, and met your gaze with one that dared you to intervene. 

“Don’t even think about it,” he growled, using the grip he still had on your waist to hold you in place while he rolled his hips up into yours, and you prayed that the moan you let out wasn’t as loud as it sounded. Even if it was, you hoped Toji would get the hint and make himself scarce.

“Look, I get it,” your bodyguard remarked, sounding both amused and vaguely uncomfortable, “but it’s kinda, maybe important.” 

With both the mood dashed and your anxiety spiked again, you patted Sukuna on the shoulder in a bid to get him to let you slide off his lap. He rolled his eyes, exasperation—and lustful desperation—painted clearly on his face, but he helped you down without giving you any grief and grabbed a black fluffy robe from where it was draped over your privacy screen. He held it out so you could thread your arms through it, and then he proceeded to tie the belt securely around your waist. 

“Come in, Toji,” you called, moving to sit on the chaise while Sukuna came to stand at your back.

Your bodyguard waited a moment before opening the door, peeking his head around first and then sauntering in with his normal arrogance to lean against your bathroom counter just a couple feet in front of you.

“Glad to see that nobody’s drowned. There’s only one of you I’d be willing to do mouth-to-mouth on,” Toji joked, clearly proud of what he had come up with. You felt Sukuna’s hands come to rest on the tops of your shoulders, his fingertips digging into the muscles lightly. They relaxed when you bought one of your hands up to twine your fingers with his. 

“So, to what do we owe the interruption?” you asked. The amusement on Toji’s face vanished, and in its place came weariness. 

“I just got off the phone with Nanami, and—,” 

“You called him?!” You yelped, springing up from your seat, “I begged you not to!”

“Whoa, Whoa,” Toji cautioned, raising his hands up in a surrender, “easy with the accusations. He called me. He knew.” And before you could open your mouth to ask how, Toji’s expression darkened and his eyes flicked up over you to glare at Sukuna. “Uraume called him.” 

You whirled around to look at Sukuna, who—thankfully—seemed just as surprised by the news as you did. 

“I didn’t ask them to do that,” he assured you, then turned to Toji, “did Nanami say what they wanted?” 

“Just to talk about the whole situation, more or less. Nanami said they only talked for about ten minutes, but they’re planning to discuss things more when he comes back in five or six days.” Your bodyguard sighed and crossed his legs as he leaned back further against your counter. “He was nearly ready to hop on the first plane home, but I managed to convince him to finish his vacation. Told him it’d damn near break your heart if he came back early.” 

You plopped back down on the chaise, bone tired and completely ready for this whole day to be over. 

“Thank you, Toji. I’m sorry for jumping down your throat like that.” 

“Don’t sweat it, Princess,” he said, pulling a vaguely familiar set of keys out from his pocket and pushing himself off the counter to walk towards the door. “You two going to be okay if I head out? I have some errands to run and then I’ll probably crash at Megumi’s tonight instead of the staff quarters.” 

You nodded at him, sending him off with a wave before shifting to look back at Sukuna. 

“Stay with me?” you pleaded. He answered with a kiss to your hair, and then offered his arm so you could stand from the chaise. He followed after you into your bedroom, and the faint flutter of clothing made you glance back over your shoulder. Your heart began to race at the sight of his bare chest, tattoos displayed in full glory. You must have made some kind of noise because he looked up at you from where he was draping his shirt over the back of a lounging chair in the corner of your room.

“I hope you don’t mind,” he said sheepishly, “my clothes are wet.” 

You shook your head, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth as you watched the muscles in his back flex as he bent down to push his jeans to the floor, leaving him in simple grey underwear. There must have been something written all over your face as he began to walk towards you, for he was reaching out to pull you into him as soon as he got close enough.

“I’m tired, Sukuna,” you warned as he pressed your cheek to his chest, though you wondered if you could muster up the energy to continue where the two of you had left off in the bathroom. Surely he would make it worth your while. 

“I know,” he told you, voice light and good-natured, and he tightened his arms around you briefly before stepping back and nodding in the direction of your bed, “why don’t you go get comfortable. Toji left your snacks on your dresser. Want to finish them off before bed?” 

With a grateful nod, you turned to leap onto your bed, sitting down in the middle and wiggling with excitement as Sukuna came to join you. He sat the tray of food and wine in between the two of you and crossed his legs underneath himself before picking up a piece of cheese and offering it to you. You smiled in thanks and began to nibble on it while he surveyed his options. 

“Mhm,” you started, an errant thought popping into your head, “I’m assuming since Uraume knows that Yuji and Choso know now as well?” Sukuna raised his head slowly from where he had been studying the various snacks, and the hint of guilt on his face wasn’t confidence inspiring. 

“They do,” he drew out, observing you carefully, “they were both watching the interview with me.” 

You groaned as white-hot embarrassment flooded your body, and you fell back against your pillows, grabbing one to shove over your face to muffle the bitter laughter you couldn’t control. “What do they think?” 

“It’s nothing you should be worrying about,” Sukuna said, suddenly sitting by your head and lifting the pillow off your face to set it above your head, “you know they adore you. Choso was his normal, level-headed self. He’s happy for us. Yuji was just as ecstatic once he got his laughter under control, if a bit disappointed that we hadn’t told him.” Your boyfriend paused, his face darkening suddenly, and you watched with interest as a muscle feathered in his jaw. 

“What?” you asked, pushing yourself back into a sitting position and poking him in the arm to urge him to explain. He shook his head, clearly annoyed.

“You know what that little shit said immediately after? He thought that you and Gojo had been secretly dating and were waiting till after your movie was over to say anything.” 

Obnoxious laughter erupted from you, and you hurried to slap your hands over your mouth to try to conceal it as Sukuna’s face fell. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you rasped out in between giggles, unable to stop it as you watched Sukuna sit back against your pillows with a huff and a crossing of his arms. 

“The little idiot is just dense. And delusional. Anyone could see that you and the q-tip don’t have any real chemistry.” He sounded an awful lot like he was trying to convince himself of the truthfulness of his own statement. You wondered, affectionately, at which brother was a touch deluded. You were a fine actor, thank you very much. And you were about to open your mouth and say so when something ‘plinked’ off the window next to your bed. 

Strange. Your bedroom was on the second floor. 

Sukuna jerked his head up, all traces of humor forgotten, and the two of you listened for the noise again. 

Plink. 

“What the hell,” he muttered, pushing off the bed so he could go inspect the noise, “stay right there.” 

You appreciated the concern in his voice as he began to lift the window pane open, and he had just begun to stick his head out to look around when something small smacked him right between the eyes, sending him butt-first to the floor. 

“Sukuna!” you gasped, rushing over to kneel by his side and lift his hand from where he had it pressed to his forehead. You didn’t get a chance to fawn over him any further before he was up on his feet and striding to your bedroom door. 

“Be right back,” he growled, throwing the door open and cursing all the way down the stairs. 

You heard something land next to you on the floor, utterly perplexed when it turned out to be a rock from your flower beds. You got up and tiptoed over to the window, just barely lifting your head over the pane as to avoid becoming another victim of a flying projectile, then shot to your feet when you caught sight of a familiar white-haired costar outside beneath your window.

“Satoru!” You screeched, dumbfounded by his mere presence and the way he waved up at you, completely unbothered, “How in the world did you get through the gate?!”

“Hey! There you are!” He called, with a lazy grin on his face, “that’s not really important right now.” 

“I would disagree!” You yelled back down to him, making a mental note to have Toji go over all the security points around your property after his day off. “What are you doing here?” 

Satoru laughed sarcastically before the smile on his face suddenly disappeared, and he propped his hands up on his hips. “Where is my car?” 

No. Way. 

“You’ve got to be kidding me, Satoru.” 

“Nope! Give me back my car. It’s one of a kind!” 

You groaned, reaching up to massage the burgeoning headache you could feel at your temples. “Are you sure it’s not out there in the driveway? Toji left just a bit ago, so you shouldn’t be boxed in or—,” you cut off when the memory of your bodyguard twirling an unfamiliar set of his keys around his finger as he left your bathroom flashed across your memory.

Oh god, that absolute bastard. 

Satoru must have caught the horrified look on your face, as well as how you suddenly stopped talking after mentioning Toji because his face blanched even paler than usual, and his voice was two octaves higher in distress when he hollered back up at you.

“Does that criminal have my car?!” 

You deserved a vacation at this point. 

“I’ll call him in the morning, Satoru, I promise. And I’ll make sure he washes it for you or whatever you want, just come back tomorrow.” You hoped placating him with the prospect of torturing Toji would convince him to leave, but no, he still stood rooted to his spot down below. 

“As fun as that sounds,” he mocked back up at you, “I can’t.” 

“What do you mean you can’t?”

He looked a bit like a toddler caught with his hand somewhere it shouldn’t be. “Suguru dropped me off and then left in a hurry. He said he had something to do.” 

You couldn’t believe that the universe thought that pairing those two together in any capacity was worth the absolute chaos they unleashed on the poor, unsuspecting population. 

The slamming of your front door caught your attention, and you figured your boyfriend was about to make himself known.

“Look,” you sighed, backing away from the window slightly, “you can borrow one of my cars and swap it tomorrow when Toji brings yours.” You ignored Satoru’s protests and started to close the window. “Just apologize to Sukuna for hitting him between the eyes with a rock and he’ll open the garage for you.”

You caught the confusion on Satoru’s face, and just barely heard his panicked remark as you shut the window.

“Oh, fu—.”

-------------------------------------------------------------

Whew, that one took it out of me, not gonna lie. Angst and I are not friends.

[kuroshadow4]

What will happen if the DL boys and the Erosion boys doing a verses school sports festival pt2

Carla: Just thinks it's a waste of time because he is the "all mighty king of the founders" and he'll thinks he'll destroy everyone in the festival for a easy win. He'll end up doing some poetic speech and then Toxin will join in cuz he is also into poems

Shin: Same with his brother, just a waste of time because he is the "all mighty prince of the founders". He'll cause a scene if one of the Hoshiin students or UraNeight piss him off.

Kino: Similar to Shu and Carla, just sitting in the corner and playing video games because he think's it's a waste of time because he is "the prince of the vampires". He'll play games with Creha and end up friending all of the games that they both play and becoming great gaming buddies.

Toxin: He'll keep his completive side calm towards the Ryotei students(similar to Ruki) he'll talk to some of the DL boys and end up making some new friends, but his rage and Hulk mode will come to play when things in the festival doesn't play out what he wants.

Yoru: He is ready to defeat the Ryotei students in the festival. His main rival targets are Ayato, Subaru, and Yuma. They become pretty good friends after they all realize they they aren't bad of a person they expected.

Neight: He'll enter the festival in a clear mind put knowing he have to deal with his younger brothers chaos during intermission. UraNeight comes out during on the rounds and he doesn't give a shit about the festival but if it's battle with Ryotei then game on(of course everyone will be confused as too why is Neight is acting so differently except for the Hoshiin students)

Byakuya: He is a free spirit guy. Runs around the festival like he always do. He does do a pretty good job being the host with Kou(they had a rocky start tho-) he does make Kanato mad during the festival and they end up being rivals/frenemies in the end.

Creha: Same with with Kino and Shu. Sitting in the corner and playing video games. He is not much of a social guy, but once Kino saw a game that he is playing then he just fanboys out the game. He also feels chill with Shu around him since he doesn't bother him(tho he'll try to talk to him time to time about music).

[kaylinalexanderbooks]

OC questionnaire

Thanks to @elsie-writes here, @mysticstarlightduck here, @riverkaplan here, and @somethingclevermahogony here!

My previous questionnaires:

Robbie, Gwen, Maddie, Noelle, Jedi, and Kelsey here.

Carmen, George, Akash, Sam, Lexi, and Ash here.

Gabriel, Carla, Parker, Rose, Alex, and Ewan here.

Liam, Hye-Jin, Wendy, Wade, Issa, and CJ here.

Below the cut I will do: Teo, Niri, Jazlyn, Anathi!

#1- Teo

Do you believe in the paranormal?

“Sis, my boyfriend literally can heal a broken arm in seconds. You would not believe the shit I've seen Parker do just because Wade can heal him. Oh yeah, and Parker literally is an airbender. How can I not? If a vampire walked into the school I wouldn't blink.”

What oddly-specific T-shirt would you wear?

“This shirt that says ‘born to shit, forced to wipe,’ I want it so much you don't understand.”

Do you usually cry at sad moments or happy moments or both?

“Definitely sad moments. I mean, I would not put it past me to cry when happy, but I can't make it through sad movies, man. Not at all.”

#2- Niri

Where is your favorite place in the world?

“I have an easy answer to this. Carla and George have a quiet room in their house. I can go there if I feel too overwhelmed or if I want to be alone for a bit. The room also has good lighting. I like it if someone joins me, though usually just a few people at the same time. Otherwise my reason for going into the room is ruined. [He smiles slightly.] I like everyone in the Aequales. Although there is a lot of people.”

What food do you hate the most?

“I dislike pasta. Pasta is not bad. It tastes good. But the texture really bothers me. I cannot eat spaghetti.”

Do you like watching sunsets or sunrises?

“Yes. I 100-percent love sunsets and sunrises. I am an artist. Maybe that's the reason. I feel inspired. New day, too.”

#3- Jazlyn

If you could only wear one outfit for the rest of your life, what would it be?

“I would wear a tank top and shorts, easily. Why? Well, I think it would be fun, definitely make me stick out among the modest Utahns I'm forced to interact with. But also they show off how good of shape I'm in. And girl, I'm in good shape. It's hard to find pants for me, since I'm mostly legs. So why not show them off? I'd probably wear cute sandals, the necklace Ewan gave me, and my gorgeous hoop earrings.”

Who's the person you trust more than anyone else in the world?

“Obviously, Ewan. He is the kindest person I know. He would never do anything wrong.”

What's your dream job?

“I would actually find sales fun. I plan to get a marketing degree when I go to college next year. It seems fun to convince people what to buy.”

More Jazlyn: OC interview

#4- Anathi

Who in this world do you trust most, and why?

“... I guess Tyler. Kinda by default. He actually listens to me. Always kept promises, too. I relied on him for many reasons.”

What was your favorite place in the world when you were young

“The park. Where I could hang out with other kids. Before my powers kicked in.”

What is your favorite memory?

“When Tyler and I first met, we talked for hours. I would like to experience that feeling again.”

I haven't written for Anathi yet so this was probably only okay. Shorter responses are intentional tho

Your questions:

Tagging @writernopal @aziz-reads @mk-writes-stuff @romances-not-tragedies @little-peril-stories

@evilgabe29 @maggiekwest @chauceryfairytales @pluppsauthor @willtheweaver

@winterandwords @melpomene-grey @i-can-even-burn-salad @mysticstarlightduck @talesofsorrowandofruin

+ ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS

How do you make decisions? Long deliberation, or impulse? Logic or emotions?

What is the best thing that could happen within five minutes after waking up? Does it signal that the entire day will be good?

Is there anything that you find difficult that you feel should be easy?

TSP intro

TSP tag list (ask to be +/-): @thepeculiarbird @illarian-rambling @televisionjester @finchwrites

@nebula--nix @literarynecromancy

[inactive-jellynyann]

I have come to bother you for any details on your Fairy Tail Self Insert you'd be willing to share because I am staring. At Samuel my beloved little freak guy. As your Exceed Companion. I would love to know more.

Okay, so when I watched FT for the first time I had a S/I and Natsu was my F/O too, I don't remember it much because I was like 10-13 also ofc now a lot things changed so yeah, my current S/I is different than my first S/I. So when I started rewatching FT of course I had to think about what kind of magic I want to use. I wanted to be a dragon slayer and my fav element is water, but if my S/I is part of the team Natsu (so one of the 'main character') then I didn't want to make myself a water dragon slayer because of Juvia. Okay, then something else that I like - since I was a child I was fascinated by space so I thought it would be cool if I could be a dragon slayer connected to the stars. Then when I was looking at wiki I saw that in fact there is already canon moon dragon slayer magic (and I literally was thinking between moon and stars XD) so I thought I'll go with it and then when I start watching 100 years quest and I'll know Selene (since I didn't know her character at that point ofc) I'll connect my backstory and magic somehow with the canon story so it'll make sense. My S/I backstory is pretty vague because of that and I need to read more of the manga (I finished watching everything but I need to catch up with manga). I think either Selene manipulated me and taught dragon slayer magic or I can learn it from someone else, like idk her mother (if she canonically doesn't appear) or it can be someone from another dimension. Okay so I (my S/I) joined Fairy Tail about 1,5 year before the plot began. I bonded with Natsu quickly because we're both weird and audhd, also I remind him of Lisanna so yeah. It's also why Mirajane is my found family big sis/big sister figure, I love her character and I like to think she likes to treat me as her younger sibling (btw also in my S/I world Lisanna didn't come back because I think it's just better for the plot). Oh also Natsu was breaking into my apartment first, I mean it was 'breaking' at first but I'm clingy so he was breaking consensually if that makes sense XDD After he met Lucy he still spent most of his time at my place but he also was breaking into her place. And I'm also breaking into her apartment sometimes because I want to be with Natsu (and Lucy is my bestie too), so in general we spend a lot of time together (I mean me, Natsu and Lucy). About Samuel, ofc I wanted an exceed, in his first appearance I found him annoying but I really liked his character development and he became one of my fav exceeds and since he's "free" I decided that I want him as my exceed. Also like, me and Natsu would make too much chaos so Sammy is the one who tones me down and is the responsible one XDDD And he's cool. I see him as a bit of tsundere, like he would be so annoyed with me all the time but he would genuinely care for me. After the 7 year timeskip I didn't have a place to stay so I stayed at Natsu's and since I thought about living together before, it just stayed like that. Tbh I don't really see Samuel in his house so he built tiny house literally next to his, so we're like, basically live at the same place but he has his own separate space in which he don't have to endure our chaos XDDDD I ship Sammy x Lily so I see Lily coming into his tiny house a lot, and since Happy lives next door he spends with them time too, later Happy brought Carla (even tho she didn't really want to XD) and it's how Sammy's place became a place of exceed's meetings XD I also totally see Gajeel fighting and arguing with Natsu about Lily spending too much time in our place XDDD Ohh also about the dragon slayer magic, even tho I'm first gen I'm not like rest of the first gen (I wasn't in their program and I didn't have a dragon sleeping within me) so when I joined Fairy Tail I already started to dragonize and I learned transformation magic from Mira so I can be in human form, later I completely dragonized so I'm basically a dragon but I keep being in my human orm since ofc it's the most convenient, I sometimes change into my real dragon form in fights tho.

[canirove]

Canary boy | Chapter 6

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

It's been almost two weeks since el clásico and since I scored my first goal with Barcelona's first team. Since “the flour war” and everything that happened between Pedri and I. And since, of course, Carla told me to take a step back and let him and Nerea figure out what was going on in their relationship. And you may be asking yourself, has Inés done that? Has she taken that step back? Well, yes… and no.

The day after everything I just mentioned, I woke up feeling like shit because, guess what? I had caught that virus that was going around the city. And who also had caught it? Yes, Pedri. So my guess is that when he had me pinned against the wall he did more than just turn me on, and for a week I've barely left my bed. 

That meant no training or playing football, and even though I missed it badly, what I didn't miss was the fact that everyone would have seen the hickies and bruises in my neck and hips, and that I would have been teased about it for the rest of my career. That, and that Carla would have gotten really mad. And when she gets like that, you don't want to be around her. I had told her that I had gone home alone after meeting Pedri outside the stadium, and it was best if she kept believing that was what had happened. 

So yeah, getting sick had made me take a step back and stop seeing Pedri… but only physically, because we've kept seeing each other through a screen.

During the whole week we both were sick we kept texting and doing video calls, updating the other about how we were feeling and our symptoms, sharing tips that were helping us feel a bit less like we were dying. Or that were helping me feel a bit less like I was dying. According to him, I am the worst patient ever.

But now all that is in the past and I am feeling alive again, fresh and ready to be back on the pitch… and to seeing Pedri.

The excuse this time is that since he didn't feel as close to the other side as I did and had managed to keep up with some assignments, he has to give me some important notes Vic shared with him while we were sick and that I will be needing too if I want to pass that class.

So here we are now, together, in the flesh, and completely ignoring Carla's advice.

“Ok, I give up” Pedri sighs. “It's just some fake fangs for a costume. How can there be so many options?”

“I guess it depends on the vampire you want to be. Dracula, Edward Cullen, Damon Salvatore…”

“Who?”

“”Twilight”? “The Vampire Diaries”?” I say, his answer being a raised eyebrow of “I don't know what you are talking about”. “Nevermind. What I don't understand tho, is why do you have to wear fangs if you are going to dress up as Danny Zuko.”

“It is all Nerea's idea. She has always wanted to get dressed like in that last scene from “Grease”, but since it is a Halloween party…”

Oh, yes. The Halloween party. Let me catch you up on this.

One of our classmates was born on October 31st, aka Halloween, and basically every year since he was a little kid he has been throwing a Halloween party to celebrate his birthday. And in case you are wondering… Yes, the party where I saw Pedri and Nerea making out for the first time, was his party. 

After that I stopped attending mostly because each year he throws them on a different date (the first time it was almost December) and I was always busy. But this year I'm free, Carla is dragging me to it because Mario has invited her, and here we are. Looking for fake blood for my costume and fangs for Pedri's.

“I seriously don't know why I said yes to her idea” he sighs again. 

“Maybe because you love your girlfriend and want her to be happy?” I say while checking a wig and definitely speaking before thinking.

“Yeah” he snorts, his face looking completely unreadable when I look at him. 

Why has he snorted? What does that mean? Doesn't he love her? Doesn't he want her to be happy? Oh my God, Inés. Why did you say that? Now you won't be able to stop thinking about that “yeah” and what he meant with it and… aaaahhhh!

“What are you dressing up as?” Pedri asks me, stopping my internal freaking out.

“Uh?”

“For the party, Inés. You haven't told me yet.”

“Because I'm not telling you.”

“What?” he laughs. “Why?”

“It's a secret.”

“C'mon, give me a clue. Please” he pouts. 

“That face isn't going to work on me.”

Isn't it? Ha! Half of your brain is already collapsing, Inés.

“Pretty please?” he says again, pouting even more. 

“Ok, fine.” Pedri's lips 1 - 0 Inés. “I'm dressing as someone real, not a character from a movie or a book.”

“Someone who is famous?”

“Or was.”

“Was? Are they dead?”

“Too many questions, Pedro. And I don't see you either cleaning my kitchen or making me dinner, so” I shrug.

“Rude.”

“You made the rules, I didn't” I shrug again.

“Still rude.”

“And I still don't care” I reply with a teasing smile. One that lasts just a second, because I suddenly find myself moving against a rack full of costumes, Pedri's body pushing me against it. 

“You are such a mean girl, Inés” he says, his face as close to mine as it had been that day in my kitchen. “I'm gonna have to do something about it.”

“You… I… Umm…” I mumble.

“What could I do?” he says, one of his hands moving to cup my face, his thumb caressing my lower lip and making me gasp. “What could I do with this bad girl?”

“Kiss me, for example” I say to myself as my eyes move to his lips before looking at him again.

And he has noticed. The little smirk on his face gives it away. 

“Inés, Inés, Inés…” he whispers as he moves a bit closer, his nose brushing against mine. 

He is going to do it. This time, he is. Pedri is going to kiss me in the middle of a shop while surrounded by Halloween costumes, which isn't what I had in mind in any of the one trillion scenarios I've imagined for our first kiss, but oh well. 

He is going to kiss me. Pedri is going to…

“Get a room!” a woman says next to us, making us both jump. “This is not the place for that behaviour! No wonder this country is going to hell with young people like this…” she keeps muttering to herself as she walks away. 

“That was…” Pedri says.

“Yeah…” I reply. 

And then, we just burst out laughing, half the shop definitely hearing us.

“We should probably leave before they kick us out” I say, trying to stop my giggles.

“Good idea” he says, also trying to compose himself. But then we lock eyes again and… 

“Ok, ok” I say, taking deep breaths. “No more laughing.”

“No more laughing. C'mon” he says, putting his arm around my shoulders. “I need to stop by the supermarket and buy some stuff, my fridge is almost empty.”

“Ok” I say again, my giggles completely gone. Because now, I can only think about his arm around my body, about how close his hand is to… my boob. 

And I keep thinking about that as we walk to the supermarket, while we buy some groceries, and on our way to his flat. Because he doesn't let go of me. If his arm isn't around my shoulders, then it is around my waist. Or his hand is resting on my lower back. Or like happened when we were paying for what we had bought, on the back of my neck. I seriously don't know how I managed to stay calm and not faint in front of everyone when that happened. Because holy shit. 

Holy. Shit.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

“And… ta-da!” I say, lifting the pan from the plate and showing Pedri the tortilla de patata I just made. 

“That looks so damn good, Inés!” 

“Thank you” I smile. “Is the salad ready?”

“It is” he says.

Yes, we are making dinner together. At his place. 

I know I was supposed to just pick those notes and leave, but he used the pouting trick again, telling me that if I stayed I could ask him the questions I didn't the other day… And here we are.

“Then let's sit down and eat, I'm famished.”

“Is the dinosaur threatening to make another appearance?” he teases me.

“She's waking up” I chuckle, sitting down at the table. Besides the tortilla I just made and the salad, we also have some cheese, jamón, chorizo, my favourite beer… It's the perfect picnic lunch, but inside. “Do you want to do the honours?” I ask Pedri, nodding towards the tortilla.

“Thank you very much, ma'am” he winks, making me giggle. Lame. I am so so lame…

“Oh my God, Inés. Look at this texture. It's perfect!”

“Let's hope it tastes as good as it looks.”

“It will, you'll see” he says before giving the slice he's cut a big bite. 

“And?”

“I love you, Inés.”

“What?” I say, almost choking with the word.

“This is the best tortilla de patata I've ever tasted. Don't tell my mum, tho” he laughs.

“I won't, don't worry” I reply, my brain still stuck on the fact that he has told me that he loves me. I know it is because of the tortilla but… Bloody hell. 

“Ask away.”

“Uh?” 

“You wanted to ask me about my family, right? Then go ahead.”

“Oh, yes, ummm… You have an older brother, don't you?”

“Yes, Fer.”

“And it is just the two of you?”

“Yep.”

“What about your parents?”

“Still together. In November will be their 25th wedding anniversary.”

“Aww, that's lovely! Are they celebrating?” 

“They wanted to throw a little party because it is the day before my birthday and we could do it all together, but I don't know if it will happen.”

“Why?” I ask.

“Because I don't think I'll be able to make it home” Pedri says, the little smile that had been on his face since we sat down to eat, gone.

“Because of uni?”

“Because I don't have enough money, Inés” he says, avoiding to look at me. “I don't know if I've ever told you, but I'm studying here in Barcelona thanks to a scholarship. I couldn't have moved so far away from home without it, my family can't afford it. But even if someone is paying for my studies, living here isn't cheap and I can't just buy tickets to go visit them whenever I fancy. I mean, I can, but then I would be eating shit for a month” he chuckles.

“What about your parents? Can't they come visit you?”

“It isn't easy. They run a small bar that also is a little restaurant. A place where you can go have a coffee or a drink with your friends, but also eat lunch or dinner. And while my mum is the cook, my dad is the one who takes care of everything else with my brother's help.”

“So that's how you know how to make churros and pizza. Your mum is a cook.”

“The best” he says, his smile coming back but quickly disappearing again. “When I'm home for the holidays I'm the one who helps her since it is when there is the most work with all the tourists, and the same happens during Christmas. They are super busy and can't just leave it all and close to come pay me a visit.” 

“So you've been spending Christmas alone since you moved to Barcelona?”

“Mario and his family have kind of adopted me” he chuckles. “They are like a hundred, so one more doesn't make much difference.”

“But it does to you, doesn't it?” I say, squeezing his hand. I don't know when I reached for it, but we are holding hands over the table. 

“I always call my parents, video calls are our best friends. But yeah” he says, his thumb caressing my knuckles. Any other day, that would definitely have me about to burst into flames, but not now. Now it feels… comforting? Kind of intimate? I don't know how to explain it. But it feels good. It feels right.

“Tell me about your favourite Christmas memory with them. About one that you will always cherish and remember” I ask him, trying to make him smile again.

“Well… It's not just with my parents, it also involves my cousins. But it has to be my favourite one” Pedri says, a little smile starting to show on his lips. One that is a proper grin when we finish eating all our food, both of us still sharing anecdotes from our holidays, our hands back to being together on the table, his fingers sometimes moving to caress the inside of my wrist and sending goosebumps all over my arm. 

Which is what is currently happening while he tells me about how, when he was five, he got stuck under a bed.

“How did you manage to do that?” I laugh.

“We were playing hide and seek, and it was an old bed at my grandparents’ house, one of those with springs underneath it. The back of my t-shirt got hooked on one of them.”

“Oh my God” I laugh again. 

“But there is more.”

“More?”

“Since they could not find me, I fell asleep.”

“Under the bed?”

“Yep. They only found me when I woke up, didn't know where I was, and started crying because I couldn't move. My dad had to go under the bed to unhook me, and it was a bit of a struggle.”

“Aww, poor little you.”

“Poor little me, yes” he pouts, his fingers now moving up my wrist and to the inside of my elbow, the goosebumps starting to feel more like little fires while we just look at each other. 

It's like time has stopped, like it is just Pedri and I in the world, his fingers touching me. Or at least that's how it feels until someone closes a door. Loudly.

“Honey, I'm home!” Mario says, walking into the kitchen. “Inés?”

“Hi” I say, quickly moving my arm back and hiding it under the table as if he could see the marks of Pedri's fingers on it.

“I didn't expect to find you here.”

“Yeah, I know. I was just passing by to pick some notes I need for one of my classes” I say as I get up from my chair.

“And you ended up having dinner together?”

“I convinced her to stay” Pedri says. “She makes the best tortilla de patata I've ever tasted. You need to try it, bro.”

“Are you a little MasterChef too?” Mario chuckles. 

“Oh, no. I cook to survive, I'm not anywhere close to what Pedri can do. And I should probably get going.”

“Already?” Mario says.

“Yes, I'm sorry. I have training tomorrow first thing in the morning and I need to rest.”

“Yes, of course. But if this tortilla is as good as Pedri says, you have to come back another day. Maybe bring Carla with you so we can all have dinner together?” 

“Sure” I smile. “Anyway, I better… you know.”

“Let me walk you to the door” Pedri offers.

“Thank you. And see you soon, Mario.”

“See you soon, Inés. Maybe at the Halloween party?” he says.

“Yes, I'll be there.”

“Looking forward to it” Mario smiles before Pedri and I leave the kitchen.

“Do you have everything with you?” he asks me when we make it to the door.

“I think so, yes” I say, checking my bag again. “Thank you for tonight's dinner.”

“Thank you for cooking for me, Inés” he smiles. “I really enjoyed that. The cooking and the conversation we had.”

“Yeah, me too” I smile back, feeling my cheeks starting to get warmer and warmer by the second. Why am I going shy now? “Anyway, I better get going.”

“Yes, of course. Did you call for an Uber?”

“I'll do it on my way down.”

“Then wait for it inside the building. I don't want you standing alone in the street at night. Because you aren't going to allow me to wait with you, are you?” he says with a teasing smile.

“I'm not, no” I reply with a matching one. “But I will wait inside, I promise. And I'll text you once I'm home.”

“Thank you” he says, that feeling of being just us in the world, looking and smiling at each other, starting to surround us again.

“Good night, Pedri” I finally say, snapping out of it and kissing his cheek. His cheek, and maybe the corner of his mouth too.

“Good night, Inés” he replies before I open the door and leave his apartment, the fuzziest and warmest feeling filling my chest. 

Fuzziest, warmest… and maybe dangerous too. Because even though I've never felt it before, I'm pretty sure this is what you feel when you are falling in love with someone, and that only means one thing: I'm screwed.

[pardonmydelays]

"i don't think i'll ever understand musicals the way you do" is something i've heard from one of my friends a couple of days ago when i told him i'm about to cross the whole country just to see one of those (my favourite one!) live in theatre. and i can't blame him. if you'd have told me a year ago that i would do something like that, i'd probably have laughed in your face. life is so unpredictable. i guess i have changed a lot. and i could write thousands of essays about how musicals helped me get through the shittiest period of my life, but we are not going to talk about this today. today we are talking about in the heights, the first musical i got a chance to experience live in theatre, hopefully not last. so grab a cup of coffee and make yourself comfortable, this is going to be the longest essay you've ever seen, friends.

a little warning: spoilers. a lot of them actually. so if, by any chance, you haven't seen/heard it yet and you are going to, don't read it.

first thing i feel like i need to mention is that they had this mini bar inside the theatre and you could order a lot of different drinks there and one of them was called abuela's coffee. i heard one lady explaining to someone that it's actually coffee with condensed milk. my jaw dropped and i was like CAN I STAY HERE FOREVER, PLEASE? for those who don't understand why, here's a quote from the first song:

USNAVI: abuela, my fridge broke, i got café but no con leche ABUELA CLAUDIA: try my mother's old recipe: one can of condensed milk

so this was my first "OH! THEY GET IT!" moment (a little note here: i had a lot of oh, they get it moments, mostly because i don't have any people around me who understand musicals the way i do... honestly, you'd have to live inside my brain). that was the first time ever when i could actually be in the room where it happens with all those people who get it and care about it as much as i do (mostly actors and people responsible for the whole show tho, but we will get to this later).

let's get to the show. so when i finally went inside and i saw the stage, i already had tears in my eyes (don't judge me please). usnavi's store, abuela's door, daniela and carla's salon, all those puerto rican, cuban and dominican flags (one couple behind me was trying to figure out which one is which and it was funny because i knew and i wanted to scream)... listening and memorizing the whole soundtrack is one thing. being able to experience it all live is something else. all those things around me were so familiar and this was the first time in months (MONTHS! OR EVEN YEARS!) i felt really understood. after all, it was all like a little celebration of lin's story (the one i love with all my heart) and i truly felt like home. so that was another OH! THEY GET IT! moment.

i don't think i'm going to talk about every single song here, that's not the point. i will talk about my favourite moments, but also about things that didn't work very well in my opinion (again: this was a polish version so all the songs were translated into polish. and they did a really great job here, surprisingly. but it wasn't perfect, more about that later).

one thing you need to understand is that i will never be normal about musicals so of course i had to burst into tears at the very first song (i don't even know why, i think i was a little bit too excited). i was actually crying in the most random moments like when i first saw nina or at the end of carnaval del barrio because I KNEW WHAT WAS GOING TO HAPPEN NEXT (who the hell cries at carnaval del barrio when everyone is having the time of their lives lol, me apparently).

ok, so the first song. the choreography, oh my god. it was everything. the translation was also pretty good here, i need to say this was probably one of my favourite moments. imagine me leaving today giggling like a child when usnavi came on that stage and started rapping, i was in heaven. also, i have to admit, the cast was amazing. i could never imagine anyone better for this role (and again, i am talking about polish actors because everyone knows who's the best usnavi of them all). he was cute and charming and awkward and so adorkable and also really handsome. he was actually perfect in my opinion.

i kinda lost my mind when i saw nina for the first time. first of all: i already knew who was going to play her and let's just say i fell in love with this actress before i even saw her live on that stage. this was important to me, because (as some of you know) nina rosario is my favourite character. and oh my god, she was an absolute perfection. what a voice, sweet jesus. i'm being serious, this girl is so talented, give her every award (i honestly hope i will have a chance to see her again one day, i'm just crazy about her). and breathe was so good! polish version was amazing, i was so scared they would screw it up, but they didn't, so all's good (this song is very important to me, ok?). also, she's a phenomenal actress, i could feel all her emotions for real. and of course i cried, what did you expect?

i don't have that much to say about benny, except that he was really cute and he had amazing chemistry with nina, so once again, the casting was really good. i mean, he is not chris jackson of course, but i have decided i'm not going to compare all those actors because everyone knows at this point how much i love OBC, i was trying to have an open mind. vanessa was also pretty great, amazing voice and her dancing skills, wow, just wow. i could talk about all those actors for days actually, but i'm not going to do that, so i will just quickly mention that i absolutely loved daniela and carla, abuela claudia made me cry, sonny was the funniest character in the whole play and i don't think i will ever recover after piragua guy's performance (i was the only person in the audience who was laughing when he came on that stage, they don't get it, ok? polish people have no sense of humour and that's a fact). actually, there were a lot of funny moments (obviously) and i was the only person who was laughing, god help me.

so let's get to the first thing that was a little disappointing for me. you will not believe it, but it was actually... 96,000 (this is one of my favourite songs and i seriously can't live like this). it's not the translation tho (it was honestly fine), it's the voice overlapping part at the end (again, the best thing ever, just listen to we don't talk about bruno from encanto and non-stop from hamilton and you will understand why it works so well in every lmm's song). the thing is, you could actually only hear vanessa's part and i wanted to die, because EXCUSE ME. i always sing usnavi's part and you could barely hear a word from it. but apart from that, the rest was fine, the choreography was amazing and it's just something i needed to mention because i had thoughts about it.

paciencia y fe! ok besties, i have thoughts, again. abuela claudia was absolutely incredible, also, her relationship with usnavi is something that you can't see in the movie version (they were so sweet i wanted to curl up and die. i knew about it before, i saw slime tutorial with obc on yt, ok? i'm pretty sure lin would be mad at me for watching bootlegs lol. i just wanted to say this). the translation didn't work out at the very end of the song tho, because when in the og version abuela sings about the "winning ticket", everyone knows already she won the lottery. i don't remember polish translation exactly, but it was something with double meaning, depends on how you interpret it, and i'm 100% sure people who didn't know the plot just didn't catch it. the rest of the song was absolutely beautiful tho.

when you're home. i was so afraid of this one, because i am totally crazy about this song (did i ever mention lin wrote this one after one of his first dates with vanessa? no? yes? ok i'll shut up about this now). oh, they did a really great job with it and it's a relief. i have nothing else to say, except that i was crying like a baby, but this song always makes me cry so what did you expect exactly? one of the best moments for sure. again, nina and benny's chemistry was absolutely incredible.

as much as i loved the club, i was actually really disappointed with one part, which is usnavi's famous "jealous i ain't jealous, i can take all these fellas, wHaTeVaaaaa". i've been waiting so long for this! and they messed it up with their stupid cringy translation which i don't even remember at the moment but usnavi was actually mad at benny and he cursed? ANYWAY. the rest of the song was great and the choreography was absolutely phenomenal, oh vanessa! let me get the next one! (i love her so much, she was amazing here). a little note from me: no one was laughing at the "no hablo ingles" part, NO ONE BUT ME!!! THEY DON'T GET IT! WTF! i was so mad (i am aware of the fact that most people probably didn't even know this story before and they just wanted to see a musical, not THE MUSICAL, which is totally fine. but sweet jesus, where is their sense of humour? they left it at home or what?).

and blackout was that part where the voice overlapping effect worked very well, so all's good. actually, one of the best moments for me as well. people were actually so confused when all the lights went down, but that was just so amazing. all the panic! everybody was screaming, crying! WE ARE POWERLESS! THE END OF ACT I!!! oh, i had the time of my life.

i had this weird feeling that they didn't exactly know how to translate most of hundreds of stories so they just made this song shorter than it actually is. which is fine i guess. honestly, it's better than bad translation, so i can forgive them. what i absolutely can't forgive tho is that the audience wasn't laughing at US NAVY. polish people, you have no fucking taste. i said what i said. and then again, usnavi and abuela's relationship was so sweet this song actually made me cry (mostly because i knew what was coming but also, i was just this weird girl who was sitting there in the second row and was crying at the most random moments).

ok, guys, honestly. carnaval del barrio was the best moment from the entire musical. oh, how much i want to experience it again! daniela was absolutely incredible, carla was so sweet, piragua guy stole the whole fucking show for me (seriously guys! he was just so amazing!). also, those little details i have never noticed before? i can't even tell if the same thing happened in the original version (the quality of that bootleg is actually terrible), but benny dancing with american flag somewhere in the background was so fucking funny and i don't think i will ever get over that part where at the end they were all still dancing and celebrating and nina and usnavi just ran away as fast as they could because... because you guys know what just happened. also, this is the moment i started crying.

i was so scared of it. let me tell you one thing, i experienced abuela's death at least fifty times and i still cry every single time. so atención is something i have to mention, because all the emotions and kevin's shaky voice made me burst into tears right away, and this time i wasn't the only one because i saw a lot of people crying when they realized what happened (i also heard a lot of OHs when he said abuela passed away, so yes, most of them didn't know this story and they were surprised). and alabanza was something else. believe me when i tell you i am writing this with tears in my eyes, i have never cried so much in public. this was the moment i was the most scared of and i was absolutely right because holy fuck. i was a mess. all the actors with those candles singing alabanza a doña claudia! (yes, they didn't translate it, all the spanish parts were left like in the original version and i am so grateful for that), it was just so sad and so beautiful. and this time i was actually like oh, they get it now (everyone was speechless and people were crying).

everyone must know at this point how much i adore champagne and i wasn't disappointed (thank god!). once again, usnavi was absolutely adorable here and people were actually laughing this time (also thank god!). how do you get this gold shit off? (my favourite line from the whole musical) was translated really well and the moment when usnavi and vanessa kissed! with all lights on them! this was so emotional and the audience reacted so well! we were all clapping (it was so funny to pretend like i didn't know it was gonna happen haha i was just as excited as all of them and once again i was like OH! THEY GET IT!). 10/10, would recommend.

if you think i wasn't crying during the last song, think again. one thing i absolutely hate about the movie version is that they actually changed the graffiti that made usnavi stay in washington heights, but i'm not gonna talk about that and i'm not gonna talk about vanessa also being there in the movie. in the original version it was a portrait of abuela claudia made by graffiti pete and oh boy, i lost my mind (i knew about it but i still lost my mind because it was absolutely beautiful). i got the feeling it was a little rushed in our polish version, but i can forgive them because it still made me cry. also, at the very end, usnavi did not only finally acknowledge he's home, when the song was over he pretty much told the audience that we are all home right now and may i just say... i felt that. i was home. they made me believe for the first time in my life i was where i belong, and somehow that was everything.

one thing about me is that this is actually all new to me. this was my first musical i saw live in theatre (and also lin's first child, which is exactly how it was supposed to be i think), and believe me when i tell you i've never had this much fun in my entire life, not even at all the concerts of my favourite artists. it was worth every money. it was worth spending 11 hours on the train and 11 more on my way back home, which by the way we should normalize (people are doing crazy things just to see their favourite artists on the stage and it's considered normal, so why can't we consider THIS normal?). anyway, i don't expect anyone around me to understand it the way i do, but i feel like i really found my thing, and it's all because of lin-manuel miranda, our beautiful puerto rican genius. he made me believe musicals can be cool and i truly wish i could thank him for that one day.

and like i said, in the heights is my favourite story with my favourite characters and i listened to it so many times i have memorized all the little details. experiencing it live is something completely different tho and i think it's safe to say this was the best night of my entire life. even tho most of the people in the audience didn't really get it, i finally felt like i was a part of this world created by my favourite genius and for the first time ever i felt understood. so i think i can say that now: i found my island, guys, i'm there, i'm home!