#caring and creative diagnosticians? I do not know them. they do not talk to me. I do not talk to them.

[notbecauseofvictories]

working in healthcare can be funny, because sometimes family members will call and ask, "hey, I'm looking for a doctor who specializes in x, who would you recommend" and I have to remind them that I deal almost exclusively with doctors who want contracts signed and/or break the law

[drethanramslay]

Part 1: Adara

Pairing: Aurora x MC (Iris Everette)

Author's note: Hey guys! Here is the first installment of the mini series. Hope you like it and enjoy it.

Songs: Kiwi by Harry Styles and Nervous by the Neighborhood

Tagging: @agent-breakdance @miyakokurono

Warning: PG, slight swearing and violence and some fluff

Iris rode on her motorbike, feeling the fall wind sting her through her leather jacket. It was five am and there were hardly any people on the usual busy streets of Boston.

Iris enjoyed these moments. Riding her motorcycle, feeling the wind ruffle her red hair, making her look like a tantalizing flame, easy to see, hard to catch. The sun was slowly rising, and peaking through the various buildings as if it was playing hide and seek.

In these moments she felt free. Almost liberated.

But, such moments don't last very long. She saw the hospital's great glass facade and pulled into the parking lot. She took out her helmet and shook her windswept hair. She picked up her messenger bag and walked towards the entrance of the building.

She spotted Dr. Naveen Banerji stepping out of his car. "Hey Chief! Good morning." She called out. Naveen's kind eyes stopped at the red head and he smiled. "Well, a very good morning to you too, Dr. Everette." She waited patiently for the older diagnostician, so that they could walk into the hospital together.

"So, I saw Declan Nash yesterday in the foyer. Is it true that he got his own office here?" Iris said slowly, side eyeing the chief. Dr. Banerji was the most diplomatic person she had met, and was a very good actor. Hell, he had the entire hospital fooled regarding his illness. So when she saw him grimace, she knew that it was true.

Fucking cunt. It would only be a few minutes before my fist would bury into his mouse face.

"Yes Dr. Everette. That's apparently true. And I also learned that Ethan was responsible for this entire... transaction." ."But, Chief-" Iris began before Naveen held a hand up, stopping her.

"You don't need to explain it to me. I know how it went down. I don't blame him or you at all. Sometimes, we need to bite the bullet for the greater good." He said, with years of wisdom pouring out of him. Iris rarely respected authority, but there were very few people who she respected and Dr. Banerji was one of them.

Iris mulled over the words, lost in thought. Soon she reached the locker room where she saw her roommates, changing. "Hey frriiieenndsss." Iris said with a haunting voice.

The group burst into laughter as Jackie groaned. "For the love of Lord Ram, Iris stoppp." She grumbled as she tied her shoe laces. The previous week, on their day off, they had binged watch 'It lives in the woods' against Jackie's wishes. Jackie maybe as tough as a rock, but she despised horror. So they did the exact opposite. She disliked the 'black ghost thingy' and his obsessive need to say 'frrriiieeennnndsss'. She found it creepy and spooky. Spooky because, when Iris was going to bed, she saw Jackie sleeping with the lights on.

"C'mon Jackie. You know I love you right." She said as she nudged her shoulder. "Fuck off. I'm outta here." Jackie picked up her things and headed for the door.

"Don't forget, we are watching season 2 tomorrow night." Bryce hollered after her. She just flipped him off and walked out. Iris chuckled as she hung her jacket in her locker. She was just taking her shoes out when Bryce strolled and sat next to her on the bench.

"Well, your hair looks like sex hair. Who is the lucky someone??"

Iris just rolled her eyes. "Don't talk shit, scapel jockey. It is too early and I need a coffee or four to have the strength to deal with you." Bryce just laughed and stood up. "See you later bro. Dr. Tanaka allowed me to assist on a Whipple."

Iris whistled lowly. "Oh ho, Hotshot. Remeber me when you are famous."

She just shook her hair and smiled. She was in her underwear, reaching for her scrubs, when someone cat-called her. "Nice legs. Putting a show on for me, mia cara?"

Oh god, give me strength.

"Suck a dick, Vincenzo." She didn't bother looking at him as she slid her, scrubs on. He came forward and leaned at the locker adjacent to hers. "C'mon babe... It's meant to happen anywa-" She was done with his bullshit, so she opened the locker door, letting it bang on his face.

"Why you little-"

"Leave her alone, asshole." A husky feminine voice spoke out. Both of them turned to see Aurora standing there, with her hands in her waist and her eyes narrowed.

Iris' breath caught in her throat and she felt flustered. She usually was the one who made people flustered, which she found amusing. She wasn't one for all these- feelings. But, after she met Aurora, she couldn't help but be fascinated by her. She found the quiet, observent and intelligent resident intriguing and someone who she felt drawn to, like a siren.

"What are you going to do? Run to your auntie?" Vincenzo scoffed.

"No. After I am done fucking up your case, my aunt will almost look cute." She said cooly. Vincenzo's jaw dropped and he just turned tail and ran away.

During the entire exchange Iris, almost swooned. Operative word being, 'almost'.

"Careful Rory, it almost seems like you care for me." Iris said teasingly.

Aurora rolled her eyes. "Whatever you say, Princess. And, how many times do I have to tell you, my name is not RORY?!!"

"Well, I am gonna pretend that I didn't hear that. C'mon Rory, it's a beautiful day to save lives." Iris said as she dragged Aurora by the hand.

Aurora was caught off guard but she would be lying if she didn't enjoy the feeling of the redhead's warm hand in hers. She squeezed it gently and followed her for rounds.

⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️

It was a crowded Friday night at Donahue's. Aurora hung her coat at the overflowing coat rack, praying to God that her coat won't become the new doormat for the pub. She then shoved her way towards her new roommates.

Roommates. That's a new term she was still getting used to. She never really had them before. She was from the hustling city of New York, before she shifted here for med school. She was a day scholar at Harvard Medical school and had stayed with her aunt.

She found herself a group of friends. She never really had friends before. She had learnt from a young age, that people always had an ulterior motive. She was basically royalty. They always wanted to impress her so that they could have a good word with her family.

Her mother was a famous actress, who had starred in various TV shows and movies. Her dad, was a nation renowned cardiac surgeon and her aunt was one of the leading neurosurgeons of the country.

Knowing her family history, it was but obvious that Aurora would get into medicine. As you expect a fish to swim in water, people expected her to nail her SATs and get into one of the best colleges in the nation.

She never really had the chance to decide her own path. She thought that she had escaped her overbearing parents when she shifted to Boston. Boy, she was wrong.

Her aunt's heart was in the right place but GOD, she was annoying. But, she was better than her parents. Anybody, would be better than her parents, who were just a bunch of robots who gave Ethan Ramsey a run for his money.

But, Iris changed that outlook. Iris really shook the walls she had spent years reinforcing. One look at her piercing green eyes, Aurora felt exposed. Usually, Aurora felt uncomfortable feeling this exposed. But with Iris....She was willing to take the leap.

But when she thought about Iris, she couldn't help but feel that she was still an enigma. She knew so very little about the young resident. She could see the fort, surrounding her. Iris maybe laid back and teased people incessantly but, there was so much more to her.

"Hey girl. Wassup?" Jackie greeted her. She shrugged and slid onto the barstool. "Same shit. Different day." Sienna spat her drink while Iris snorted. Jackie just smiled slyly. "Okay then."

"Rory, what do you want?" Iris asked, beside her.

I want to know more about you.

"The usual. Cherry vodka and soda." Iris nodded and then flagged down the barkeep.

"Hey Rory! How was your day?" Bryce asked.

Iris slapped his shoulder. "Only I can call her that. Be more creative, Lahela."

Aurora snickered and nudged Iris. "So overprotective."

"I am your knight in the shining armour. Get your facts checked, Rory." Iris exclaimed.

Everything was great, untill it wasn't.

Vincenzo was right behind Iris, trying to get to the bar table. It would have been completely normal if, he wouldn't have reached down to grab her ass.

It all happened in the blink of an eye. Iris turned around, grabbed his wrist, twisted it and pinned it to his back. He yelped but that didn't stop her. She slammed his head on the bar and kept him there. Collective gasps went around them and someone pulled the cord of the jukebox at the same time.

"Now, now Vincenzo. What have you done?" She asked, her voice so cold, that it sent a shiver down Aurora's spine.

"I-I didn't do anything!!" He sputtered.

She pulled his hand more, make him screech in pain. "Wrong answer. Try again."

He was sweating now. "I-I grabbed your ass."

"Correct. Now tell me, is it nice to molest people?" She asked sweetly.

"N-n-no." He gasped.

"Ding ding ding. That's the correct answer. Now listen to me, and listen good. Next time, if I see you anywhere near me or any girl, and try to manhandle her, I will skin your testicles. And don't feel for a moment think that I am joking. Because I am not." She said with acid dripping in her tone.

She lets him go. She straightens his tacky jacket and pats his cheek. She smiles. "Now run along, boy."

She turns around towards her drink and takes a sip of the smooth whiskey. Over the rim of her glass, she noticed the expressions of her friends and colleagues.

Sienna had her mouth open, with a lettuce hanging out.

Jackie, was stunned while, Bryce had a hand on his chest, taken aback.

Dr. Ramsey's eyes were as big as saucers, which was the most expression she had seen from him.

Aurora had a heated gaze.

And, Elijah had fainted.

"Elijah?!!" Iris rushed and shook his shoulder. He woke up disoriented. "Yeahhh I might have passed out after seeing something so scary."

"I don't know whether to be scared or be turned on." Bryce said, recovering first. "Well, I'm turned on." Aurora mumbled into her drink, so lowly that only Iris heard. Iris was as red as her hair.

"Well, remind me not to ever cross you Iris." Jackie said.

Iris laughed but her laughter was cut shot when she was pulled roughly of the chair by an angry Vincenzo. She was hurled into the table, hitting the back of her head, hard. Glass broke and cut her in the stomach.

She could see black spots in her vision and she froze. This blow reminded her of her personal hell. She was reminded of the monster, she had been running all her life from. The demons haunting her and reminding her that they are not very far away. That they would ways be there, right over her shoulder.

She stayed there, waiting for the next blow when she saw through her bleary vision, Dr. Ramsey and Bryce restraining Vincenzo.

"Hey, hey, HEY!!" Aurora said as she shook Iris' shoulders. "Stay awake for me Iris. We are taking you to the hospital to check for a concussion."

"Rory...stay..." Iris mumbled as she held onto Aurora.

"I'm here Iris. I am always here."

⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️⚕️

Aurora flashed the light into Iris' eye for her neural check up. It blinded Iris and she slowly and painfully followed the source of light.

After a few moments, Aurora nodded to herself and switched off the light. "Good thing is that you don't have a concussion. Now about the gash on your stomach, I will stitch it up and give you a tetanus shot."

"But I'm sooooo sleepy." Iris said mid yawn.

Aurora chewed her lip, to come with something that could keep her awake. "Well, let's play the question game."

"Question game?" Iris asked amusingly. "Yap. I ask a question you give an honest answer and vive versa. You can even go first."

"Hmmm... favourite colour?"

"Forest green." Just like your eyes. She added mentally.

"Do you have any tattoos?" Aurora asked as she cut the shirt which was drenched in blood.

"Yeah... Two."

"I haven't seen them." Aurora as she lifted the t-shirt to rest below Iris' breasts.

Yup it it's a mess. She sighed and reached for antiseptic

"For that you might have to get me naked."

Aurora stopped in her tracks. She slowly turned to look at Iris who was giving a shit eating grin. Without hesitation, she dabbed the antiseptic, right on the wound.

"FUCK. Fuck. Fuck. Couldn't give a warning Rory??!" Iris said as she hissed.

Aurora just smiled smugly and said, "Oops??"

"My chance. Why do you call me Princess?" Iris asked. She never really understood the reference behind that one.

"Well, you remind me of Merida, from 'Brave'. You haven't seen it?" Aurora asked as she searched the wound to make sure, there weren't any glass pieces left.

"Nope."

"Well, it's my personal mission to make you watch it. Don't move. I am stitching you up." Aurora said.

She picked up the needle and thread and moved closer to her stomach. "Sooo.... Tell me about your family." Iris froze and the room became so silent that you could hear a pin drop.

Way to go Aurora.

"You don't need to say if it's too invasiv-" Aurora quickly covered up but Iris just reached and squeezed her shoulder, with a soft smile on her face.

"It's okay...it's just been so long since I have spoken about them. Well, my mother was like a ray of sunshine. She was always radiant and positivity just oozed out of her like a waterfall. She had so much love for everyone and she was empathetic. She and I used to sing karaoke in the kitchen while we cooked food. We were not very well off but, she made sure that I never felt that I lacked a childhood. She was my best friend, more like a sister than a mother." Iris said with a small smile, her eyes having a faraway look.

"She died when I was sixteen. Leukemia. She had grown into a shell of a person because of the constant chemotherapy but, her spirit stayed strong. If you spoke to her over the phone, you wouldn't even realise that she was sick.

She always told me, "Adara, always keep your youth alive. Always be kind to people and don't hesitate to help your enemies. The day your curiosity and youth dies, you start wilting like a flower. Never give up and always stay strong." Iris recited from her memory.

"Adara?"

"Iris Adara Everette. It means 'fire' in Hebrew. She used to call me 'little red' when I was younger because of my fiery spirit."

"She sounds like a lovely person. I'm sorry..." Aurora said, gently.

"Nah, it's okay I have made my peace with it."

"What about your fathe-" Aurora asked.

"Hey, are the stitches done?" Iris asked, as she looked down at her stomach.

"Yup. Now, you need bed rest for the next one week-"

"One WEEK??!!"

"-with plenty of water. Keep yourself hydrated. I am keeping you in the hospital for the next two days, for observation and then you can head home after that.

"BUT-" Iris started but Aurora shushed her.

"Doctor's order. Don't worry about your patients, Elijah and Jackie will manage them. Dr. Ramsey is already aware so he has given you the week off."

"Fiiinnneeee." Iris blew a raspberry.

Aurora turned and started disposing off the medical waste and her gloves when she heard a tiny voice saying, "Stay." Aurora turned around to see Iris giving her the cutest puppy eyes, which she could not resist.

"Pleeaaseee Rory?? What if I get a haemorrhage in the middle of the night?? Or or-"

"Calm down Adara, I will stay the night."

Iris smiled a genuine smiled which she had reserved only for Rory. She shifted and patted on the space next to her, on her hospital bed. Aurora took of shoes and settled in the covers.

"Thank you, Rory." Iris said as she nuzzled against Aurora.

"For what?" She asked as she wrapped an arm around Iris.

"For fixing me up... and calling me Adara."

"Do you mind? If I call you that??"

"Nope, infact I love it. But call me that, only if we are alone. " Those were the last words she said before they both drifted into a dreamless sleep.

AAAAAHHHHHH ❤️💖 UWU

Soooooo, how did you like it?? Like and reblog :))

[aworldoffandoms]

39 for ethan and mc if you would be so kind ☺️

Authors Note: Hello! This Open Heart small ficlet is from this list of prompts. This is the second last prompt and I’m kinda sad about that.

Thank you so much for this prompt, nonny! Enjoy! 😁

I took some creative liberties with this and decided that Nicolette is a prodigy in her field of medicine…so much so that medical conferences want her to speak at them. Let’s just say that she’s got a reputation all on her own. She puts Ethan to shame! lol.

P.s. I’m not American so I don’t know much about LA so I included a convention centre in this. Please excuse any inaccuracies if there are some.

Prompt is: okay, we’ve got this

Prompt is in bold.

***

Pairing: Ethan Ramsey x F!MC [Nicolette Valentine]

Word Count: 1,125 (give or take)

Rating: G

Warnings: None. Some fluff at the end. 

Summary: Nicolette is the opening keynote speaker at a Medical Conference in Los Angeles and she’s rightfully freaking out. Ethan gives her some encouraging words.

I’m tagging my OH tag list but please let me know if you’d like to stay on it or would like to be removed.

Open Heart Tag: @senseofduties​​ @polishchoicesfan @princess-geek @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @binny1985 @fanficnewbie @x-kyne-x​​@thefluffyphotographer @lilyofchoices @thecordoniandiaries @rainbowsinthestorm @cxld-play @jens-diamondchoices @malakbesharah @hopelessly-shipper @my-heart-beats-for-ya @landofenchantedwonder @sabrinahoffersonsworld @flyawayboo @stanathanxoox @oofchoices @thequeenofcronuts @heauxplesslydevoted @bi-cookie @kingliamsbish @trappedinfandoms @supercoolperson0808 @perriewinklenerdie @riverrune

Disclaimer: All rights reserved to Pixelberry and all characters belong to them.

***

CONFERENCE JITTERS

Okay, Nicolette. It’s time.  

“You ready, Nic?”

She stares at her best friend and shakes her head. “No, I’m not Sienna! I’m freaking out.” 

Sienna smiles encouragingly, as her hand rests on Nicolette’s shoulder. “You’ll be fine.” 

Nicolette stares at her tiny friend with the biggest heart and she can’t help but drink in her encouragement or at least she tries. 

Sienna was tiny, yes, but she’s the most caring and selfless friend Nicolette has ever had and she thanks God every day for her. She appreciates her so much.

“Thanks, Si,” 

Sienna gives her a wink and points to the four people sitting second from the front in the large theatre room of the Los Angeles Convention Centre. 

“If you feel like you’re going to faint or throw up, just remember that your friends are rooting for you all the way,” 

A short bark of a laugh escapes her. “You’re rooting for me to throw up? Nice.” 

Sienna giggles. “No! You know what we mean.”

Nicolette nods at her friend and grabs the curtain that leads to the stage. Panic seems to churn in her gut and her breathes become short and laboured.  

Oh shit, I’m panicking. I’m going to have a panic attack. 

Sienna seems to sense what’s going to happen and grabs Nicolette’s shoulders and guides her in some breathing exercises to calm her. 

“That’s right, Nice and slow, Nic. In and out. Inhale, exhale.” 

She does the breathing exercises a few times before she feels her heart rate slow to a normal pace and her breathing settles. 

“Phew. Thanks for that, Sienna.” 

Sienna gives her a wink and squeezes her shoulder. “You’re welcome, Nicolette. Just remember to kick ass and not forget us when you’re famous.” 

Nicolette rolls her eyes at her words but a chuckle escapes her nonetheless. “Heh. I don’t think I’ll ever forget you or the others but I don’t think it’ll come to that.”

Sienna gives her a playful shrug and a parting wink before sauntering back to the seat which their friends had snatched when they arrived. 

She peeks out of the curtain of the Los Angeles Medical Conference and her nerves threaten to derail her again before she clenches her eyes shut and turns away from the growing crowd. 

She sikes herself up. 

“You can do this, Valentine. It’s just one small conference in which you are the key-note guest speaker and your mentor will be scrutinising your every word. No biggie.” 

“No biggie indeed, Doctor Valentine.” 

Nicolette jumps at the voice behind her and her heart stutters for a completely different reason than speaking in front of hundreds of medical professionals from around the world. 

Doctor Ethan Ramsey. Her mentor, her friend and her confidant. And the one person she can’t let down.

Why does he have to be so handsome and serious at the same time? 

She gives him a self-conscious smile, embarrassed at the fact that he heard her pep-talking herself.

Ethan understands her nerves and gives her a warm smile, his hands coming up to place themselves on her shoulders and he gives her a caring squeeze. 

“You’ll be fine, Nicolette. Just remember to breathe. I’ve done a few of these myself and you just have to remember that they are here to see you, learn from you and they’ll see the brilliant diagnostician that I see every day. You’ve got this.” 

Nicolette glows at his words and she can’t resist the smile that reaches her face. Ethan’s expression mirrors hers. 

“That’s what I wanted to see.” 

Nicolette frowns in confusion. “What?” 

Despite the people milling about behind the scenes, Ethan’s hand comes up to rest on the side of Nicolette’s face, his fingers gently brushing some unruly hair behind her ear. 

His smile is gentle as he gazes at her. “Your smile. It lights up the room.” 

If Nicolette wasn’t being held in his strong embrace she’d have fainted right there but thankfully all she does is blush, her cheeks flaming.

Ethan grins at the blush on her cheeks and he moves to kiss her on the cheek. He repeats his earlier sentiment.  “You’ve got this, Nicolette.” 

“Well, when you say it I’m sure I will be.” 

Ethan moves back from her, giving her a final squeeze. He moves to take his place behind the curtain, Nicolette guessing that he’ll sit with Naveen or Harper but his next words make the dread feel like a heavy rock has been dropped to the bottom of her stomach. 

“Oh, and Nicolette, you needn’t worry about me scrutinizing every word you say considering I’ll be there up with you.” 

What?! 

Ethan winks at her, him already realising that another bout of nerves has hit her full force and he gives her some calming words or at the very least wants her to not worry because she doesn’t think clearly when she worries. “We’ve got this, Doctor Valentine. Don’t worry. We’ll educate these doctors, no problem. You and I are a team so we’ll be okay.” 

Easy for you to say Ethan I-embarrassed-the-keynote-speaker-slash-president-of-the-American Medical-Association-and-tore-apart-his-research-while-doing-so Ramsey! 

Ethan walks out of sight and Nicolette takes a shuddering breath to have the chance at a last-ditch effort to calm herself.

She repeats his words as she shakes her hands out in front of her, building up her courage. 

“Okay, we’ve got this. I’ve got this. I’ll kick ass.”

“Welcome all to the Los Angeles International Medical Conference Key Note. We thank you for making the journey here.” 

There are murmurs in the expansive room before the host continues.

“Our key-note speaker today is a highly respected and talented physician who has been an integral part of America’s leading Diagnostics Team based in Boston, Massachusetts at Edenbrook Hospital. Everyone, please put your hands together for Doctor Nicolette Valentine!” 

Oh crap. It’s really happening! 

Nicolette hears the roar of her friends first, Jackie’s whistle heard above Bryce’s whooping and Elijah’s and Sienna’s cheers before she hears the rest of the room clapping in greeting. 

Again, she repeats the words Ethan said like a mantra in her head. 

We’ve got this. I’ll be fine. Let’s educate these doctors….

We’re a team.

A confident (at least she hopes is one) smile graces her face before she leaves backstage and emerges in front of the large crowd of doctors of all specialities and nationalities,  awaiting her words.

She finds Ethan at the front awaiting his turn, his blue eyes shine with pride and admiration for her. 

She gives him a grin and a small inconspicuous nod of her head. 

I’ve got this.

[tarysande]

ADHD Update

I woke up this morning to ... uh, thousands of new notifications on the ADHD post I made six weeks ago (I think it’s @seananmcguire‘s fault ;D ... which is fine because iloveyourbookssomuch*fangirl*). 

Over the past weeks, I have received dozens of supportive notes from complete strangers. I’ve received PMs and Anon messages. I’ve read all your reblogs and I’ve read all your tags, and I want you to know I see you. I hear you. Even if we are strangers who may never speak or meet, every time I see a new notification, I send a little bit of love and support your way. 

I know most of the people who’ve seen and interacted with that post probably won’t see this one, but in case they do: Thank you. I’m proud of you. I believe in you. None of us are alone; that’s the beauty of the internet. Even if the people you regularly interact with in your day-to-day life don’t get it, chances are you can find spaces on the internet where people will understand you, support you, and believe in you.

I intended for that post to be something hopeful. Maybe a nudge, for people like me who don’t fit the typical diagnosis criteria---even when it seems impossible, there are diagnosticians out there who will listen. There are resources you can access online. Treating ADHD is always a multi-pronged approach. Medication is one prong. Knowledge is another. Cognitive-behavioral therapy can help. So, research is finding, can daily meditation. There are free resources online to help you help yourself. Here’s a good place to start; CADDAC has compiled lists of online, Canadian, US, and international resources. While therapists (or medication) may be out of many people’s price range---I certainly don’t want to diminish that difficulty, especially considering how poor coverage can be for anything mental-health-related---taking tiny positive steps forward is possible on your own. Or with a supportive group of internet pals.

I am almost 40 years old. ADHD wasn’t even suggested as a possibility until I was 37. On the one hand, I grieve for the time I’ve lost to things beyond my control. Of course, I do. On the other, as I said to my husband the other day, fighting for this diagnosis and finally getting some proper treatment for it (an ongoing process!) has given me so much to hope for. If I get another five minutes or another fifty years, fighting (and continuing to fight) for my health and well-being has been worth it.

A few words of advice based on my personal experience:

If your medication makes you feel like a zombie, you’re on the wrong medication or you’re on the wrong dose. This goes for ADHD meds, anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds. The goal is not to be numb. You should feel more like yourself, more like your best self, not lesser or smaller or quieter. Don’t stay on the wrong medication. And don’t be afraid of medication if you’ve had this experience (I have!), because I am here to tell you it does not and should not be this way.

I am a writer and an editor by profession. Too many people spread the lies that a creative person needs their depression, anxiety, ADHD, substance abuse, or other treatable issue to be Creative. This is a lie. This is a terrible, harmful, horrific lie. The healthier I am, the better my mind works, and the more creative I am. The healthier I am, the better I’m able to manage and use my time for creative pursuits.

There’s no magic wand. There are only tools to help you do the work. No one can ‘fix’ you. They can help you see yourself more clearly, they can help you focus, they can help you breathe, they can help you learn, they can point you in fruitful directions, they can give you tools, they can love you, they can support you, they can help you get back up when you (probably inevitably) stumble, they can hug you really tight, they can hold you as you cry on their shoulder. Unfair as it may seem to those of us handed the challenge through no fault of our own, mental health involves work, and no one else can do that work for you.

It’s okay to be angry and sad and frustrated and happy and hopeful and full of rage and full of grief, sometimes all at the same time. We feel a lot of things. Sometimes we have to linger in those feelings to figure out why they’re happening or what they mean or how to adjust things to mitigate them healthily. But it’s okay and it sucks and it’s wonderful and it’s horrible and it’s okay. We have good days. We have bad days.

I know these are just words written by some stranger on the internet, but I care about you. I hope for you. I am glad you’re in this world, thinking and believing and creating and fighting for yourself and loving and enjoying and breathing and working.

Because a few people have asked, yes, I have a Ko-Fi and yes, I have a Patreon (which I’m revamping). 100% no pressure, but any support I receive keeps me writing my own work instead of editing the work of others to feed my cat ;D. Tumblr is primarily a fandom space for me, but any ADHD- or mental-health-related posts I make are tagged tara talks adhd or tara talks mental health (or both!). I believe strongly in speaking about these things---for me, yes, and for those who can’t.