#caretaker having a breakdown

[letitbehurt]

An immortal/self-healing Whumpee with nothing to show for the months of torture they endured.

[cloudmancy]

how ARE we feeling about raphanielcolin everyone

[sweetlacerations]

whumper accidentally getting attached to their (held against their will) whumpee, and having the worst breakdown ever seen when caretaker takes whumpee away

[cas---2y5]

.

[notdexterousatall]

Have you ever had this thing happen, where you're going through some kind of crisis - mental or physical health wise, or even socially or something else - and one of your parent's friends comes up to you to tell you about how YOUR crisis is affecting your parent? Like, going out of their way to pile on about how the negative effects of what you're dealing with is impacting your parent.

Because it's happened to me, and let me say... it always seems particularly impertinent(?) I think it's the best word to describe it. Because, yeah, I KNOW that my crisis is having a negative effect on the people who care about me. And that sucks. But it's also MY crisis, and you know who is feeling the principal negative impact of whatever it is? It's me, dude. I don't need or deserve to have some outside observer come tell me to be more thoughtful about the impact on my parents with no consideration for me. (And, even if whoever this person maybe does care about the impact of whatever the crisis is on me, it sure feels like they don't when they come to me specifically to talk about the impact of my personal crisis on someone else.) I've got enough on my plate.

Anyway, this post is also about Jason Todd and Bruce Wayne. This is what I think of whenever I see someone talk about Jason needing to consider the impact of his death on Bruce. He fuckin' DIED, my guy. No matter how much it sucked for Bruce, Jason does not need to be considering Bruce's feelings about it before his own.

[ding-dong-the-bitch-is-dead]

@north-peach @halfagone

Prompt 102

 Bruce pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a deep breath. In for ten seconds, out for eight. Alright. Okay. “Let me get this straight,” he didn’t motion to the three teens- or not teens even if two apparently looked like they were- but it was a close thing. “You-” 

 Phantom perked up, white hair flickering with what he was pretty sure were stars as they turned away from the window looking out into space. “-are two years old.” The fae-esque being who looked more like a fourteen year old gave a half-distracted nod. Which, for a toddler, they were paying attention pretty well. 

 “You-” Klarion looked up from where he was fiddling with the cuffs that had been on him, cat sprawled on his shoulder now that it was out of the carrier. “-are six?” Another distracted nod, the apparently-child seemingly enamored with the sounds the cuffs made when they clinked together. 

  “And you-” He turned towards Marvel, who shrank back before seemingly steeling themself. “-are in fact ten.” The… well they had thought demigod but apparently all three were some sort of realms-being, which had apparently made Constantine pale and start cursing before stomping out of the Watchtower. Another nod and shaky thumbs up. 

 Alright. Okay. They had in fact let a ten-year old join the league, which wouldn’t have been so bad if they had known. Especially the fact that apparently Marvel was only half-human, which suddenly explained so much about how he didn’t know so many things about a human life. Which-

 “You,” he turned towards Phantom again to make sure he was listening before returning his attention to Marvel. “And you have both lived at least a year in the human realm with human companions, but your-” He turned his gaze towards the ravenette in the center. The six year old apparently. “-experience with the human realm is literally just with the Light.” 

 Yet another distracted nod. Okay. Bruce was tempted to scream in a room for the entire situation that had cropped up from the single action of taking Klarion’s familiar and then the boy himself into custody. Then again, it was honestly a much better thing they had apparently caught this. 

 “Alright,” he sighed, suddenly feeling incredibly exhausted. “To make sure I have all of this correct-” Because it was already a shitshow and the amount of shouting had absolutely spooked the child. To the point he’d- according to Marvel- made what was apparently some sort of very distressed noise that had made both him and Phantom running. Or rather flying and portaling. 

 “-in the realms, people there make friends through fighting,” Bruce pauses to make sure he got that part correct. The origin of this entire misunderstanding with the chaos-lord. Lordling? 

 All three nodded, Klarion losing interest in the cuffs and starting to pet his cat. Familiar. Everyone had referred to it as a familiar and Marvel had appeared utterly horrified that they had taken said familiar away. Somehow he was the one the trio were currently trusting and weren’t doing the same towards any of the other league members. 

 “And you have been trying to make friends with the Jr team, which they have been taking as an attack due to this miscommunication.” Honestly they should have gotten more information, though he couldn’t exactly blame any of the teens, what with everything they were currently dealing with. 

 “... is there any sort of guardian or something you might have, that can be contacted? Or anyone that could help prevent a situation like this from happening again?” All three avoided his eyes, suddenly finding things like the table and walls very interesting. 

 Oh. Hm. This could be a problem.

[kryaaas]

I think its important to remember that harry's noticable mental decline happened just in the last 4 months

Jean words seem to imply that harry started wearing "disco" clothes fairly recently too

All these years Harry wasnt some wildcard who just did whatever he wanted nor Jean was his caretaker. He had such a violent breakdown because he was so heavily repressing himself, fully dedicated to his work but also becoming more and more disillusioned with it. He is not even drinking or taking drugs for *himself*, he is doing his for his *job*, to be able to achieve better results, save more people, solve more cases despite his work wearing him thin.

"Half the town will be dead" Harry is worried that if he isnt going to give his all to the case regular people will suffer the consequences. Part of the appeal of drinking or taking drugs, gameplay-wise, is that it makes the passing the checks so much easier. So Harry is not even wrong, like there is much higher chances to get an innocent civilan killed in the tribunal if you dont have alcohol or drugs to assist you. is his sobriety really worth risking people's lives?

He did his best to be a good cop, help people as much as he could and had fewer kills about possible

all of this + seasonal depression + realizing that his job doesnt actually make any difference + capitalism + his mind and body not handling the strain he has put himself through for years resulted in Harry's breaking point

[hurtcember]

Above is the official Hurtcember 2024 prompts list.

Below are alternative prompts in case one doesn't want to do a few of the prompts (but still do the whole challenge) or for those who just want to write/draw more.

Both lists are typed out at the bottom of this post.

RULES 1. You can write/draw for any fandom or pairing 2. You can write/draw SFW or NSFW content, just label it accordingly 3. Please tag any Tumblr posts sharing your prompt fills with #hurtcember2024 so that we can find and repost them 4. If you post your works to AO3, please add them to this collection and add "Hurtcember" and/or "Hurtcember 2024" to the additional tags of your prompt fill(s) 5. The challenge officially starts on December 1st but feel free to write/draw before then and/or submit things after the month ends officially, whatever works best for you 6. Be kind to other participants 7. You DO NOT have to do every single prompt if you don't want to. The point is to have fun and spark creativity, not to feel like you're doing a chore

Prompts List (Text Copy) 1. Collapse 2. Breakdown 3. Blood 4. Scars 5. Faint 6. Touch-Starved 7. Abandoned 8. Cuddle 9. Exhaustion 10. Touch Aversion 11. Caretaking 12. Cry 13. Nightmare 14. Near Death 15. Trauma 16. Bruise 17. Concussion 18. Fatigue 19. Desperate 20. Panic 21. Afraid 22. Self-Harm 23. Bed-bound 24. Dissociate 25. Accident 26. Guilt 27. Pain 28. Captive 29. Dehydration 30. Dizzy 31. Hyperventilation

Alt Prompts List (Text Copy) 1. "Don't leave" 2. "Help me" 3. "Leave me alone" 4. "It's my fault" 5. "Take my hand"

[nuclearnyx]

it’s been a weird couple of weeks lemme tell ya

[whumpster-dumpster]

A tough, stoic whumpee with an equally tough, stoic caretaker. Caretaker who's on their same level, who can see the cracks forming in their stoicism when no one else can. Caretaker giving Whumpee permission to break down after everything they've been through because it's just them. If anyone understands, it's them. They won't judge. They'll keep it together for the both of them (and then have a private solo breakdown about it later where Whumpee can't see because it hurts so much to see their strong friend crack and crumple like that)

[weirdlookingsnakewithlegs]

Seekers are natural caretakers.

It comes with being in a trine, with being in a flock. It comes with being a Winglord especially, so I imagine in TFP Starscream is so jittery, he needs something to fuss over. He doesn’t have his trine anymore and his remaining seekers are all scattered around the universe.

The need to preen and fuss and groom grabs onto him and refuses to let go. Often times he’d find himself looking over Knock Out or Soundwave, on rarer occasions Megatron or Breakdown, searching for gunk. He eyes their joints for anything stuck between them and sometimes he’ll reach out to itch something off only to pull his servo away when he catches himself.

I imagine Soundwave is the first to fully understand, he understands the need to fawn and fuss and care for others, Lazerbeak was prime proof that he understands. So he hands her to Starscream, making some lie that she was hurt on her last scout and needs a watchful optic while he’s busy. He almost doesn’t expect Starscream to jump at the offer.

And that’s how it starts, because when Lazerbeak returns to Soundwave at the end of the cycle she’s about eight times cleaner and seems rather happy about her visit. Primus she’s even covered in fresh polish and Soundwave hasn’t seen the cassette so excited. She shows Soundwave everything, the overzealous grooming, the careful polishing in which Starscream had to very gently hold her steady, and they even played.

It nearly blows Soundwave away, he hadn’t expected such gentleness from the seeker, he hadn’t expected the seeker to take it so seriously either. Well, he had his suspicions, but this is much more than what he thought.

And it just starts with grooming, before Soundwave knows it, Starscream is catching scraplets for the cassette. When the seeker first brings one he almost thinks it to be alive, its frame slightly twitching after he dropped it on Soundwave’s desk. Though, the energon leaking from its frame and the crashed in helm make him realize otherwise. Lazerbeak isn’t sure what to make of it as well and it’s a standstill until she, before Soundwave can stop her, sips up some of the leaking energon.

She loves it.

And it doesn’t take long before Starscream is almost always focused on her, foreground and background. Soundwave often finds Starscream staring at Lazerbeak while she rests against his chassis during their conversations. He senses Starscream’s worry in his EM field every time Lazerbeak is on recon. And Lazerbeak soaks up the attention like nothing else, happy chirps going back and forth between seeker and cassette.

Something about catches Soundwave’s spark but he stays quiet, happy with watching for now.

[newbornwhumperfly]

athena…how dare you break my heart this wayyyyyyyy 😭😭🥺🥺😭😭

every chapter of this au causes me to cry but this chapter is just??? the parallels between morja and gavin as weapons choosing to be humans who can grow and love??? morja trying to be good at all costs because everything is a test and he’s always failing?? the EDRISSA AND ISAAC ATTEMPTED ASSASSINATION PARALLEL (jfc athena that fucking HITS) 😭😭😭

fuck, man, isaac saying “i have to do this” and “they’re not gonna be safe as long as you’re around” because he sees himself in morja and isaac never thinks he himself is fully safe or able to keep his family from harm…they are the same and they are lost, what does that say about how isaac sees himself…💔💔💔

but morja’s breakdown at the end was the most piercing scene…how he’s so exhausted and shaken and overwhelmed that he breaks down in gavin’s knee while gavin strokes his hair because he understands and he uses hands morja was most afraid of to soothe his terror??? are you trying to murder me because that tenderness cut me to the bone 😭🥺😭

“I’m not what they made me and neither are you.”

oh. oh. oh. 😭💔🥺💖 yeah. that’s it.

To Die Without Flinching

Many thanks to @newbornwhumperfly for being so generous in letting me put their boy Morja in Situations, and many apologies to them as well for holding onto this story for so many months while waiting for me to finish it.

My masterlist

Morja is a diathésimos, one of a class of indentured servants owned by society’s elite - though some would call them slaves. He has been tasked with a mission of critical importance by his anóteros: to infiltrate a dangerous family that has taken refuge in the north, and kill the criminal that they are harboring: Gavin Stormbeck.

“It is your part to kill me, mine to die without flinching.”

— Epictetus, from Discourses (Translated by Robert Dobbin)

Your Part to Kill | My Part to Die | To Die Quietly | Despair | Dawn | Breakfast Part 1 | Breakfast Part 2 | To Die Without Flinching

Contents: recovery, PTSD, conditioned whumpee, tied up, blindfolded, attempted murder, false execution, rescue

~

After weeks with this family, Morja now moved freely among them. When they left the house in the morning to do their chores, he left with them, eager to help. When they returned in the evening to cook dinner together, he joined them, learning the skill of which spices to mix together to create the flavors that pleased them all. When he returned to his room at night, he went without a lock on the door. He slept in the bed, now. He didn’t fear what might happen to him in it. 

This team, this family, they were kind to him in a way he had never experienced before. He knew they were dangerous, but he wanted - so, so badly - for them to trust him, so that they might always turn their kind eyes on him forever. Their patience for each other seemed to know no limits, and they always seemed to want to be together. They never raised their voices or their hands to each other, or to him. Even when he could tell they were angry, they never did what he knew in his bones should happen; they never tied his wrists and whipped him until their tempers were eased. That always made his anóteros feel better. And yet, they refused to do it to him. 

He didn’t understand it. 

Still, when Isaac Moore called him to the barn one day, he couldn’t help but feel a prickle of unease. A few weeks of strangeness could not undo a lifetime of lessons, after all. But when Isaac called him, he went. He obeyed.

“Yes, Isaac Moore, is there something you need?” he said, keeping his gaze on the floor of the barn. Even if Isaac was a diathésimos like him, he was still uncollared and freed. Morja must always show him deference and respect. 

“Yes,” Isaac Moore said, his voice flat. A shiver moved up Morja’s spine as Isaac moved to block the barn door. His eyes were dull, his hands in fists at his sides. 

The hair on the back of Morja’s neck stood up. “Please… tell me what it is I can do for you,” he said, though lips that were beginning to go numb. His lungs were too large for his ribcage.

Isaac Moore finally raised his gaze and met Morja’s. Isaac’s eyes burned into Morja’s as he said, “Put your hands behind your back and get on your knees.” His right hand was behind his back, reaching for his waistband.

Morja did not even consider disobeying. His fell to his knees with a crack, crossing his arms at the wrists behind him. “Y-yes, diathésimos,” he croaked. 

Isaac’s face hardened as he stepped forward. Morja sucked in a breath and forced himself perfectly upright. His hands quaked behind him, despite the fists he was making. When Isaac Moore stepped behind him and bound his wrists together, he let out a terrified breath. When a rough strip of cloth was tied over his eyes, he uttered a shameful sound of fear. 

His throat was too dry to swallow with. His chest was too tight to breathe with. His mouth hung open and he tilted his head, desperately listening for Isaac Moore’s next move. When the cold metal of Isaac’s gun pressed against the back of his head, he folded over his knees with a shudder.

“Don’t move,” Isaac ground out.

“Y-yes, diathésimos,” Morja sobbed dryly. He understood, now, he saw it all. It had all been a test somehow, and he had failed. This was the cleanest end he could hope for: a bullet in his brain, a shallow grave behind the farmhouse that had been his unwitting prison for all these weeks. Had the test simply been to see if he could figure out that he had been a captive at all?

Had his anóteros set this all up to punish him for his failure?

One thing was certain: he was going to die with his anóteros’ collar wrapped tight around his neck.

He pressed his lips together and waited for the white-hot blast, and then the oblivion after. It didn’t come. It didn’t come. Despite Isaac’s admonition, he rocked minutely forward and back, drawing in breaths too shallow to provide enough air. He tried to wait silently. Pitiful whimpers made their way past his lips anyway. 

He was failing.

“I-I need to do this,” Isaac Moore murmured.

Morja nodded frantically, at a loss for what else to do. The gun pressed harder into the back of his head, and he froze.

“You’re a fucking threat to my family. A threat to Gavin.”

Morja couldn’t deny it. He couldn’t deny that he had harbored some small hope that he might one day carry out his mission and make his anóteros proud - but he wanted something else, too, something he couldn’t name. The clash made him sick. 

“You can’t change. You can’t fucking learn, I’ve been watching for the switch to flip and it hasn’t. I need to put you down. I… I see you watching him… and I know that everything he taught you is still in there, because… because for the longest time, it was like that with me…”

Morja couldn’t deny that, either.. He squeezed his eyes shut behind the blindfold and waited to die. 

“I… I have to fucking do this.” The gun pressed harder, then harder still, until it was pinning Morja’s head against the wooden floor between his knees. He felt Isaac adjusting his grip. He heard Isaac shuffle his feet against the floorboards. He drew in a terrified breath, could barely let it out without a groan escaping him. He was trapped, unable to move, unable to speak. He heard Isaac Moore sniff. He was crying. 

“Isaac?”

Morja flinched hard when Gavin Stormbeck’s horrified voice filled the barn.

The gun eased its pressure on the back of Morja’s head. 

“Gavin.” Isaac sounded frightened. 

“What… oh, fuck, did you…? Isaac, what–”

Morja couldn’t help it; when Gavin Stormbeck fell to his knees beside him, when a hand settled in his hair, right next to the gun, he let out a muffled wail of terror.

“Tell me you’re not doing this,” Gavin breathed. His hand was shaking on Morja’s head. “Tell me you didn’t… lure him here so that you could execute him in cold blood.”

“He came here to execute you in cold blood, Gavin,” Isaac snarled. Morja’s body tensed as the gun jammed hard into him. “Don’t–”

“This isn’t you,” Gavin said. “Isaac… this isn’t you. Please tell me this isn’t who you are.”

No one moved or breathed for a long moment. Then Isaac said, “You know this is who I’ve been for a long time.”

Gavin’s hand tightened in Morja’s hair. “Not anymore.”

“But he–”

“He stopped! Like you! How can you look at him and not see you?” Gently, Gavin’s fingers smoothed through Morja’s hair. Horrified, desperate, Morja found himself pressing the side of his head against Gavin’s knee. 

The gun on his head pressed harder, harder, hard enough that Morja knew it would leave a deep bruise. Then, all at once, it disappeared. Isaac Moore stepped back. Heavy footsteps left the barn. 

Morja took a deep, shuddering breath and shook apart into dry, tearless sobs. His head rested on Gavin’s leg, and the syndicate son’s hands rested gently in his hair. 

“Shhh,” Gavin Stormbeck soothed. “It’s alright. You’re safe.”

Morja could no longer pretend. He could no longer be silent. He was so frightened, and confused, but most of all he was so, so tired. He didn’t much care if the syndicate son had a knife waiting for him. All he could feel was the gentleness of the boy’s hands in his hair, the solidity of his leg, and the beat beat beat of his heart that threw itself against his ribs. Gavin slipped the blindfold from his eyes and tossed the cloth into the corner of the barn. Slowly - he used his fingers, not a knife - he worked the knot tying Morja’s hands free.

“You’re safe,” Gavin said again. 

Morja’s fingers clutched at Gavin’s pant leg. “Y-yes, anóteros,” he stammered, desperate to be good, to obey - anything to keep Isaac’s gun from pressing against his head again. “Yes, Gavin Stormbeck–”

“Please don’t call me that,” Gavin whispered. 

Morja’s stomach heaved. His eyes went wide and he buried his face against Gavin’s leg. He shuddered in the moment between inhale and exhale - in the moment between mistake and correction. 

“I… I apologize,” Morja rasped through numb lips. He pushed away from Gavin and pressed his forehead to the floor in front of him, shaking, broken, cold. “Please,” he could not stop himself from saying. “Please.”

Gavin’s hand landed on him again. Morja made a horrible, humiliating bleat of fear, but he did not move. He did not move. He waited. 

“My name is Gavin Uriah,” came the quiet voice. It sounded like Gavin was in pain. 

Morja’s throat worked around a swallow. “I-I…”

“I’m not what they made me. And neither are you.”

Then Gavin’s hand was in his hair again, moving slowly, gently. The touch was so soft that it undid him. Morja crumpled, leaning forward into the touch until his head was in Gavin Uriah’s lap. Dry sobs heaved through him as the fear and pain moved over him and out. He pressed his face into Gavin’s thigh and allowed the touch, allowed the hand in his hair. 

“I’m sorry,” Gavin said quietly. “I’m so sorry.” 

Morja could say nothing in response. His throat was too strained. 

Gavin sat with him in the barn for a long time. He held Morja, waiting until his great, awful sobs had stopped, before he took his arm and led him back toward the house. 

@womping-grounds , @free-2bmee , @quirkykayleetam , @walkingchemicalfire , @inpainandsuffering , @redwingedwhump , @burtlederp , @castielamigos-whump-side-blog , @whatwhumpcomments , @whumpywhumper , @stxck-fxck , @whumps-the-word , @justplainwhump ,  @finder-of-rings , @inky-whump , @thatsthewhump , @orchidscript , @this-mightaswell-happen , @newandfiguringitout , @whumpkitty , @pretty-face-breaker , @cinnamonflavoredhugs , @pebbledriscoll , @im-just-here-for-the-whump , @endless-whump , @grizzlie70 , @oops-its-whump , @kixngiggles, @1phoenixfeather , @butwhatifyouwrite , @carnagecardinal ​, @annablogsposts , @suspicious-whumping-egg , @starfields08000 , @morning-star-whump

[noven-warsh]

Whenever I think about a tired or resentful Caretaker, I imagine an insecure Whumpee trying to "alleviate" their pain and trouble.

Like, Whumpee sees Caretaker grow more and more fatigued during their time together, and so they start trying to take care of themselves. They try to take their medicine without asking Caretaker, they try to comfort themselves after a nightmare or a breakdown. They try to cook by themselves and bathe by themselves. Even if they fail at some aspects, they're still satisfied since it means that Caretaker doesn't have to worry about them anymore.

Whumpee thinks about how Caretaker's probably busy, or how they have their own personal problems to deal with, or how they've probably experienced a good/bad event while trying to take care of them. And so they start keeping their feelings to themselves, not opening up because they don't want to burden Caretaker.

Or suppose the situation escalates to a point where Whumpee believes that their Caretaker shouldn't have to carry the burden of taking care of them, and they decide to run away. Perhaps they stay in the streets, or go to a random person's home, or even one of Caretaker's friends' homes (if they know the street).

But while Whumpee's trying to be selfless and take care of Caretaker's feelings, they don't realize that it's making Caretaker worry about them more.

[osalotte]

i gave in. i started watching windbreaker. i now have several ideas for fics stewing in my brain.

(let me know which one you like/want to see the most in the comments :3)

sakura with a super confident + affectionate s/o who doesn’t gaf about his emotional constipation

nirei with an s/o who can fight

umemiya gets asked who he loves more, his s/o or kotoha, and he has an emotional breakdown

taming sugishita (that man is a CREATURE.)

togame braiding his s/o’s hair

kotoha gets a girlfriend and umemiya thinks they’re just besties

sakura has a crush on someone but he doesn’t know how to handle his feelings so he just wants to fight them 24/7

umemiya with a zoology nerd s/o (am i projecting? maybe.)

suo with an s/o that can read him like a fucking book

togame with a doting, almost caretaking s/o and he doesn’t quite know how to handle it

sakura with an s/o who is incredibly vocal about how sakura is the prettiest boy they have ever seen

togame and his s/o have a secret code when they want to leave a party/social event

anyways. that is what is currently happening in my brain rn

[bestlilithian]

Home is the first grave.

[ Moon-Pluto, Pluto in 4th house culture ]

tw for various mentions of abuse and death as well as mental problems, sh and su!cide, also needles (dont ask)

- may have experienced a lot of death in thr family or in the close neighborhood

- feel more connected to your dead relatives than your alive ones

- there mightve been a death in your family before you were born

- feeling peacful in graveyards

- may have fantasized about death/su!cide, might percieve death as something that brings peace (hence the fantasies, because really all you ever wanted was peace)

- wanting peace but knowing you cannot have it because of your nature; feeling like theres just something in your blood in your soul that is uncontrollable and overwhelming

- your household was always a house , never a home

- being raised by very old people, enjoying the presence of much older wiser people (like, literal elders not hot teachers 💀)

- enduring literal psychological warfare in your home (usual your mother waged war on you as soon as you were old enough to form a coherent critical thought)

- "I hate you, dont leave me" (might be the attitude of your mother towards you, or yours towards others you love)

- Your mother always knew when you were lying or hiding something. Especially if she had a scorpio moon or moon/pluto aspects herself. You grew up extremely fearful of her.

- moon pluto culture is hearing your mother talk lovingly about her own fucked up mother, she never accepted the severity of her own abuse, until of course she needs to use it in an argument against you "Im a great mother, my mother was so much worse"(basically Im good because I abuse you differently than I was abused 😍 same shit different package)

- not liking motherly women or women who try to be mother figures to you, feeling uncomofortable around them; youre uncomfortable with how much you crave motherly love and people who can provide you that become threats because of the power they could have over you if you opened up

- being betrayed by the women in your life, especially those who were much older and supposed to take care of you (teachers, tutors, family members, therapists, babysitters..)

- toxic female friends 😁🔫 bonus : really close but toxic female friendships in youth that feel like death when you end them even though you know it was necessary

- feeling pain so deeply you think you will drop dead or have a heart attack. (When I was little and depressed I wrote in a diary of mine "My body will kill me before I get to")

more on this : when you start crying because of immense emotional pain and suddenly your heart is burning and beating too fast and youre getting light headed and throwing up , and suddenly youre not crying because of the pain, youre crying because youre afraid youre about to have a heart attack and die

- fearing that your mother will k word herself or you if you try to leave her (harsh aspects mostly)

- learning what emotional violence is very early, how to wield it and defend against it

- turning your emotions off completely for a while and then having a nervous breakdown when it all rushes back

- reading up on psychology, psychiatry and works of psychotherapists so you can heal and never become your mother

- wanting to put a bullet in your head when you notice yourself thinking or behaving like your mother

- going home after you spent time somewhere where you felt good and safe is extremely dreadful

- your mother doesnt see you as a human being (harsh aspects especially), and may take you a while to figure this out

- extremely controlling behavior from your mother or other caretakers (for example my mother threatened to send people to stalk me when I moved to a diff city, to 'make sure Im not doing something bad')

- deeply grieving the loss of your childhood and your inner child

- almost choking while crying or passing out

- feeling like youre a horrible person and dont deserve your family [because youre in deep denial and are seeing the flaws of your family as your own and denying your own trauma]

- learning about sex early on, perhaps early sexual obsession but not like promiscuity more like craving for deep intimacy (also you were probably deeply ashamed of it)

- not telling your family (esp mother) anything because they will ruin it for you

- being accused of being a psychopath, uncaring, selfish for "not loving your family enough"

- not knowing how to feel about the members of your family that played a more passive role in your life because they didnt do anything wrong but they didnt do anything right either; surely they knew , why didnt they stop it? why didnt they save you? (Im talking about adults obviously)

- your parents mightve been much older when you were born, you might have siblings much older than you

- doing anything to avoid your intense emotions and then when you break down and feel everything you realize how freeing it is and how comfortable you actually are with the intensity

- gutteral reactions to songs you deeply relate to (I hear 10 seconds of 'Slipping through my fingers' and I am dead on the floor)

- being afraid of your mother or just of your family in general

- you could probably kill someone with your bare hands if you were angry and hurt enough

- scary as fuck when you actually show your anger

- if you cry in the midst of a fight (verbal or physical) ... someone tell that person to make peace w God . cause thats you crying because of what youre about to do, because thats you loosing the last crumb of humanity you had for them and that can only end one way.

- you would probably kill for your loved ones

- your friends feel like you would help them hide a body (and you probably would)

- recognizing people by footsteps and breathing patterns (especially family members)

- deep deep eyes, people can see war and death them, and they feel like you see their pain too (because you do)

- reading people easily

- enjoying? cruelty (to yourself or others), like getting impulses to do something that would cause you or someone else that ugly feeling of facing cruelty

- finding comfort in the cold and the dark

- insane nightmares since youth, growing to be used to them

- its very hard to shock you

- you know when someones lying

- you might dread certain types of pain yet feel pleasure from them (personally I hate having my blood taken for a test but then I end up immensely enjoying the feeling of a needle pricking my skin and going deep into my vein)

- feeling the need to "kill" some your habits; most likely to drop things cold turkey and be extremely strict in breaking bad habits

- might enjoy really dark, emotionally and morally complex media

- immediately recognizing other moon pluto people and trauma bonding

- extremely good pain endurance. not necessarily tolerance , but endurance. you feel the pain and do it anyway.

- might not react to physical pain at all from a young age

- fantasies about drowning or slipping away peacfully

- either loving deep waters or hating them

- randomly breaking down in the middle of the day because of some pain you buried 5 years ago

- might self harm a lot because of your complex relationship w pain, it genuinely helps sometimes

- home feels like literal prison

- seeing the value in suffering, you might reject the idea that suffering is bad and should be avoided and prevented at all costs

- you might become religious as you mature (but usually in your own way, not necessarily according to tradition)

- forced to eat or denied food in your home, this mightve fucked up your relationship with food

And lastly, I need you to engrave this in yourself :

Wrong love is not love.

[wangxianficfinder]

In the mood for...

Nov 1st

~*~

1. Hey so ITMF fics that A) have various sect leaders realize that the wens at the burial mounds are women, elderly and a child (not a threat to anyone) and DO Something about it! and B) any fics with heavy angst but happy ending. Last is C) any fics where wwx is abused/mistreated by lans or at cloud recesses

I know it’s a lot to ask and thank everyone who at least takes a look at my requests! @lonelyreverance

1A)

Blooming in white by luckymoonly (T, 38k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, MM/WQ, NMJ/LXC, NHS/JC, Canon Divergence, Mpreg, Getting Together, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, hidden pregnancy, Mutual Pining, Drama, Misunderstandings, Everyone Lives AU, Miscommunication, WWX and NHS are BFF, matchmaker NHS, Fix-It)

every breath that comes before by tardigradeschool (T, 10k, WangXian, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Poison, Golden Core Reveal, Sharing a Bed, Hair Brushing, Angst with a Happy Ending, PTSD, WWX’s terrible self-esteem)

Green-gege Saves a lot of Lives by Eternal_writes (T, 11k, WangXian, WQ & WWX, WN & WWX, YLLZ WWX, Burial Mounds Settlement Days, Burial Mounds Ensemble as Family, Wen Remnants Live, Everyone Lives, Fix-It, Soft NMJ, POV NMJ, POV WWX, Supportive NMJ, Protective NMJ, NMJ solves all the problems unintentionally, NHS Knows Everything, NHS's spies are talked about alot, NHS manipulates from the shadows like the best friend he fucking is, NHS & WWX Friendship, Sworn Brothers NHS& WWX & WN, BSSR makes a small appearance at the very end, Immortal BSSR is the best grandmother, Golden Core Reveal, JC & WWX Reconciliation, Good Sibling JC, Soft JC, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, WWX Lives, WWX Loves LWJ, WWX is not as oblivious as canon, WWX gets the help he deserves and his family back, Featuring WWX's inventions)

while covered in mud by merthurlin (T, 12k, NHS & WWX, NHS & NMJ, NHS & Wen remnants, mentioned wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, NHS goes farming and Hates It)

We can fix that by Spindoctor (E, 85k, WangXianJue, Threesome - M/M/M, NMJ Lives, Arranged Marriage, Oral Sex, Anal Sex, Cock Warming, Caretaking, Light BDSM, Thigh jobs, Everyone Loves WWX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Frottage, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Starvation, Canon-Typical Violence, Starvation recovery, PTSD, PTSD RECOVERY, Suicidal Ideation, Scars, Discussion of Surgery, mild body horror, discussion of starvation, body talk, Nightmares, screaming ghosts, WWXs canonical cnc kink, cnc fantasies, Light Bondage, tender fucking, instead of talking about feelings, Slow Burn, JYL Lives, BAMF JYL, Erectile Dysfunction, Weight Gain, Chapter Specific Tags in Beginning Notes)

1B)

Rebirth of a Wretched Mayfly by marikazz (M, 15k, WangXian, Time Loop, Time Travel, Groundhog Day, Suicidal Thoughts, Violence, Not Really Character Death, Panic Attacks, Self-Harm, Mental Health Issues, Trust Issues, Hurt WWX, Miscommunication, Heavy Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Whump, Feelings Realization, WWX is Not Okay, Mental Breakdown, Canon-Typical Violence, Existential Angst, Dissociation, Suicide, Angst with a Happy Ending, Misunderstandings, POV WWX)

Sunder by naqaashi (E, 32k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Soulmates, Golden Core Reveal, Golden Core Transfer Fix-It, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Heavy Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Denial of Feelings, Mutual Pining, Emotional Sex, Porn with Feelings, PWP, Light BDSM, Fix-It, POV LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Top/Bottom Versatile | Switch WangXian, Light Dom/sub, Explicit Sexual Content, Miscommunication, Misunderstandings, Grief/Mourning, Five Stages of Grief, Suicidal Thoughts)

❤️ The Third Young Master of the Qishan Wen by KouriArashi (T, 139k, wangxian, xiyao, chengqing, romance, angst w/ happy ending, hurt/comfort, politics, revenge, families of choice, pining) This fic is already very canon-divergent (it's an AU where wwx is adopted by the Dafan Wen)

A Life Without Regrets by naqaashi (M, 146k, WangXian, JFM & WWX, JC & WWX, WRH & WWX, LXC & LWJ, LQR & LWJ, LWJ & NHS, Canon Divergence, Time Travel Fix-It, Angst and Humor, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Crack Treated Seriously, musical cultivation, Slow Burn, Pining, Rogue Cultivator WWX, Murder Husbands, PTSD, BAMF WWX, Demonic Cultivation, POV WWX, Cultivation Sect Politics, Worldbuilding, No Yīn Iron, Genius WWX, Inventor WWX, Artist WWX, Musician WWX, Night Hunts, Fate & Destiny, Bad Parent JFM & YZY, Golden Core, Cultivation Theory, Sentient Burial Mounds, Father-Son Relationship, Dysfunctional Family, Grief/Mourning, Parent-Child Relationship, Angry WWX, Pining WWX, WWX is Not Okay, No Golden Core Transfer, BAMF LWJ, Pining LWJ, POV LWJ, Angry LWJ, One-Braincell Wangxian, Love Confessions, Idiots in Love, WIP)

❤️ Tragedy is Not the End by Hobbsy3 (T, 358k, wangxian, Time Travel, Torture, Hurt/Comfort, Golden Core Reveal, Canon Divergence from Qiongqi Pass, Angst with a Happy Ending, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Yunmeng sibling bonding, good dad wwx, good dad lwj, JZX Lives, JYL Lives, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

Birthday Party by waffles_4_breakfast (E, 102k, WangXian, Graphic Depictions of Violence, Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Angst, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Sharing a Bed, Angst with a Happy Ending, Happy Ending, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Canon-Typical Violence, Pining, Slow Burn, Poison, Torture, Requited Unrequited Love, First Time, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Come as Lube, Bondage, Dom/sub Undertones, Spit As Lube, Rimming, Consensual Non-Consent, Safe Sane and Consensual, Additional Warnings In Author’s Note)

The Edge of Night by Hobbsy3 (M, 277k, WangXian, XuanLi, Modern AU, Zombie Apocalypse, Yúnmèng Siblings Dynamics, Accidental Baby Acquisition During a Zombie Apocalypse, Junior Quartet, (except they’re all babies), Angst with a Happy Ending, Minor Character Death, Hurt/Comfort, Blood and Gore, Ensemble Cast, Worst Zombie Fighting Team Ever, Found Family)

🔒 when the sun goes out by travelingneuritis (E, 176k, WangXian, Modern Cultivation, tech cultivation, Necromancy, Angst with a Happy Ending, insecurity around adoption, Dad!WWX, dad!lwj, Grief/Mourning, Mistaken Identity, Mood Whiplash, Body Swap, sex tears!, Falling In Love, Consensual Somnophilia, apocalypse (localized), Smut, unrealistic sexual stamina, Flashbacks, Time Skips, Illustrations)

💖 Shattered Dreamsby pupeez4eva (Not Rated, 8k, WangXian, Time Travel, Angst, lots and lots of angst, Character death, but it’s WWX so he is coming back, WWX time travels back to the Nightless City And doesn’t let JYL take the blow for him, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, And then just lots of fluff and WangXian and Yunmeng sib feels to make up for all the angst)

in your skin by darkredloveknot (enheduane) (E, 10k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Pre-Relationship, Getting Together, Horror, Body Horror, Blood and Gore, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Non-Consensual Body Modification, kinda??, Reflections over death and self-worth, mentions of canon suicide, Near Death Experiences, 🔒 [Podfic] in your skin by flamingwell)

to the act of making noise by words-writ-in-starlight (WordsWritInStarlight) (G, 19k, LSZ & LWJ, LSZ & WWX, WangXian, Grief/Mourning, Father-Son Relationship, inquiry, LSZ is the best of boys and I will not hear debate, Music, Angst, Fluff and Angst, Found Family, [Podfic] to the act of making noise by Ceewelsh, flamingwell, kisahawklin, Rionaa)

1C)

Concord by Deastar (T, 41k, WangXian, Arranged Marriage, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Depression, Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending) Wei Ying is mistreated/unfairly treated by the Lans in Concord, Mourning Robes and Preparing the Soil

Mourning Robes by Starlight1395 (T, 17k, wangxian, No Sunshot Campaign, Arranged Marriage AU, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Happy Ending, Depression, dissociating, Mild Blood, Fluff, juniors idolizing WWX like he deserves, slowburn between WWX and Cloud Recesses, Hinted smut, Jingyi has a CRUSH, Supportive JC)

Preparing the Soil by Rynne (T, 26k, WangXian, LQR & LWJ, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Family Issues, Family Conflict, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Chinese Holidays, Chinese New Year, Birthdays, Good Kid LSZ, Meta Arguments, POV LWJ, Protective LWJ, Married WangXian, LWJ’s Birthday, LSZ’s Birthday, Soft WangXian, LWJ Has to Talk a Lot, Gusu Lan Sect Rules, Gusu Lan Sect, Letting Go of Resentment, The WWX Rule, Good Sibling LXC, Improving Uncle LQR, Grappling with the Lans’ Part in the Siege, learning to be better, Music, LWJ is a Composer, LWJ Is Good at Communicating Actually, Not JC Friendly)

they keep the phoenix in a bamboo cage by Kieron_ODuibhir (T, 41k, WangXian, Amnesia, YLLZ WWX, Angst, Humor, Dramatic Irony, Character Study, BAMF WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, no dubcon beyond canon-typical misunderstanding kisses, and references to wangxian's usual under-negotiated cnc, but essentially, fake Dark LWJ) Wei Ying thinks he's being held prisoner by the Lans

Take Him Back, Hide Him Away by Anonymous (E, 5k, WangXian, Forced Marriage, Forced Orgasm, Wedding Night, Somnophilia, Dark LWJ, a bit of blood but not much, Kidnapping, Breeding Kink, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Rape/Non-con Elements) Wei Ying is truly abused by Lan Zhan in Take Him Back...Please mind the tags on the last one.

~*~

2. hiii do u know of any angsty yanli fics? they don't gotta be centered on any one point in her life but I feel like there's a lot of angst potential when it comes to her realtionship with madam Yu (like in the lotus seed story!!)

The Rage of Daughters by givemeunicorns (T, 51k, XuanLi, WangXian, ChengQing, MianLi, Grief/Mourning, Family Issues, Canon Divergence, Canonical Character Death, Character Study, Yanli lives but she has to work through some stuff okay?, Forgiveness, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Major Character Undeath)

Aftermath by KouriArashi (T, 57k, JYL/JZX, wangxian, LXC/JGY, JZX & JGY, JYL & WXX, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Everybody Lives, Romance, Developing Relationship, Family, Sibling Bonding, Light Angst, Politics, Attempted Sexual Assault, some murder on occasion, People talking about their feelings, processing their trauma, The good shit)

~*~

3. Itmf fics where they are thespians (aka they do plays/musicals)

There are a number I’ve read for #3, theater-related works, but I will tout the very entertaining Scrippio’s works (there are several), including

Players gonna play by Scrippio (T, 68k, WangXian, JC/WQ, JYL/JZX, Modern, College/University au, Theater AU, Director WWX, Faculty advisor LWJ, grad student JC, Baker JYL, grad student WQ, Fluff, First Meeting, Getting Together, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, Depression)

🧡 Fakespeare in the Park by Scrippio (T, 72k, WangXian, ChengQing, XuanLi, Modern AU, Modern: No Powers, Theatre, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Accidental Baby Acquisition, Plus some very on purpose baby acquisition, The occasional existential crisis, all the relationships are established, Light Angst, one emergency surgery, but it’s fine)

and the not theater but Ren Faire offering (which is a second home to theater kids everywhere) 🧡 Faire thee well by Scrippio (T, 77k, WangXian , ChengQing, XuanLi, 3Zun, Modern AU, Renaissance Faire, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Slow Burn)

to aim at poetry with pistols series by azurewaxwing (E, 34k, WangXian, LJY/LSZ, Modern, College/University, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canonical Character Death, Fluff, Actors, Theatre, Multimedia, Pining, Cancer, LWJ can have a little turtle (as a treat), Minor Character Death, Smut, Anal Sex, The duality of LWJ: always horny and always poetry)

Talisman by Witch_Nova221 (M, 192k, WangXian, Modern AU, Eventual Romance, Theatre, Rock Band, Childhood Friends, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Spousal Abuse, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Fluff, Stalking, Minor Character Death, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining)

Fanciful Nature by QuietReader25 (E, 168k, WangXian, peking opera, Theatre, 1930s, Flowers, Smut, Slow Burn, Anal Sex, Anal Fingering, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Sad WWX, Pining, Drunk LWJ, Mutual Pining, Drunken Shenanigans, Love Confessions, Singing, Hurt WWX, Hurt LWJ, Mystery, Past Character Death, Attempted Sexual Assault, Violence, Parties, Bunnies, First Kiss, First Time, Jealous LWJ, Possessive Sex, Emotional Sex, Blow Jobs, Rimming, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Character Death, Bath Sex, Riding, Slight Choking)

~*~

4. Hello! Itmf WWX returning to Lotus Pier and taking his position as first disciple and/or teaching students again. Thank you! @gloriousclotpole

Twelve Moons and a Fortnight by stiltonbasket (M, 290k, WangXian, Humor, Slow Burn, Post-Canon Fix-It, Long-Distance Relationship, Epistolary, Love Letters, Family Feels, a-qing lives, teenage romance, Adoption, Romantic Comedy, Happy Ending, Weddings, Case Fic, Parenthood, Politics)

🔒 Tether by WithBroomBefore (T, 40k, WangXian, SangLi, WWX’s passive suicidality, Canon Divergence, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, WWX Lives, JYL Lives, Golden Core Reveal, Minor Character Death, Canon-Typical Violence, POV JYL, Grief/Mourning, Sunshot Campaign, Healing, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, LWJ makes friends, Fix-It, Happy Ending)

family by antebunny (G, 8k, JC & WWX, WangXIan, JYL/JZX, Fix-It, Angst, Fluff, Found Family, actual family, Everybody Lives, JC is a good bro, Epic Tsundere JC, wwx's horde of gremlin children, Canon Divergence) Wei Ying is no longer officially head disciple after it's revealed he lost his core in family but he trains and recruits disciples for Jiang Cheng.

~*~

5. Hey all I was kinda in the mood for fics that sorta give the same feel as Sonny’s Edge (from Netflix) involving wwx obviously. I would appreciate anything you can come up with but would prefer a long fic … and maybe a happy ending after an angsty bit! @lonelyreverance

~*~

6. ITMF please!

I recently read Dreams of Cultivation by mortuus_lingua and it was amazing! Are there any more gamer or game-themed fics with wangxian? 🥺

simping for hanguang-jun by defractum (nyargles) (T, 6k, WangXian, Modern AU, YouTubers WangXian, Fluff, Among us game, Streamer AU)

Wei Ying’s Smile is Beautiful by Guineapigs1 (T, 66k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, College/University, Video Game World, Gaming, Identity Porn, Oblivious WWX, Mutual Pining, Online Romance, Love O2O AU)

🔒Duo With You by Nyatci (T, 48k, WIP, WangXian, JFM/YZY, XuanLi, College/University, Gamers WàngXiàn, Casual Gaming, enemies to lovers (sorta), Secret Identity vibes, they play league of legends, Kinda Crack but treated very seriously, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Comedy, But also, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Abusive Jiang Family, Eventual Happy Ending)

🔒【为梦想而战】for this dream, i'll fight by paradisetrain (M, 27k, WangXian, Modern AU, Gamer AU, League of Legends, Gaming Jargon, Social Media, Internet Hate, cancel culture, Hacking, Cheating, Internet Scandal, Bad Parenting, Parent Death, Family Issues, Family Feels, Healing, Falling In Love)

Our Red String of Fate is a Wireless Connection by TheLegendOfChel (M, 24k, wangxian, college/university au, esports, internet famous, secret identity, WIP)

🔒Make It Right by Prince_kun (M, 28k, WangXian, NieLan, SongLan, ChengQing, Transmigrator WWX, Historical, Video Game World, Transmigration, Canon - Modao Zushi & The Untamed Combination, Implied/Referenced Medical Condition, Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, War AU, warprizewwx, Crack Treated Seriously, Pretty Woman Fusion, Humor, Canon-Typical Violence, Modern man wwx, Protective LWJ, WangXian Get a Happy Ending, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, WWX in WWX's Body, Oblivious WWX, Action/Adventure, BAMF LQY, General LWJ, LWJ is LSZ’s Parent, Love Doctor XXC, Love Doctor SL, Historical Inaccuracy, Parent LWJ)

You're my Destiny. by headBONDmeLWJ (T, 44k, WangXian, Modern AU, POV WWX, Pining WWX, Oblivious WWX, Gamer WWX, Gamer LWJ, LWJ Has Feelings, Idiots in Love, Awkward Crush, Mutual Pining, Slow Burn, WWX-centric, Internally Screaming LWJ, Jealous LWJ, Pining LWJ, LWJ is Whipped, POV LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Established WangXian)

~*~

7. Hello! Are there any fanfics that Wei wuxian and lan wangji were married but just stayed indifferent to each other until many years later? @lanwuxian0725

~*~

8. Hello,

I was wondering for itmf if there is a fic with nice intimacy written for Wen Ning?

But please not with WY

Thank you!

Honey Lavender by TumblingTroublesomeTumbleweeds (E, 15k, ChengNing, Slow Burn, Pining, Awkward First Times, Canon Divergence, Jealousy, Top JC, Bottom WN, Consensual Underage Sex, Friends to Lovers to Enemies to Lovers or something like that, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Cinnamon Roll WN, Eventual Necrophilia)

~*~

9. hello! i'm not sure if any of them exist but just in case... for the next itmf if anyone knows any i would love to read canon/post-canon fics where sizhui views wwx as his father but not lwj

~*~

10. ITMF a fic where wwx finds out that lwj actually has game (as in, he regularly hooks up with different people). something similar to "our friendship (up against the ropes)". any fic in general where lwj completely subverts wwx's stuffy impression of him

the earthquake in the room by phnelt (E, 39k, WangXian, College/University, Modern: No Powers, Canada, Getting Together, Mentions of lwj/others, background NieLan, background QingMian, inter-faculty romance, strangers to lovers to frenemies to lovers, mostly book characterisation, Background XuanLi)

it's always open by ScarlettStorm (E, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, no magic, vague north american setting, First Time, Getting Together, Pining while fucking, Some angst, Happy Ending, lwj FUCKS, Sexual exploration, demi wwx, Kissing, Hand Jobs, Blow Jobs, confused but enthusiastic consent, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, truly absurd amounts of naked pillow talk, switch rights)

On The Way by 8Zaire8 (E, 13k, WangXian, Smut, so much porn, PWP, Fluff, Porn with Feelings, Getting Together, Public Sex, Library Sex, restaurant sex, Riding, Nipple Play, Nipple Clamps, Anal Sex, Fuckboy LWJ, Transfer student WWX, High School, Facial, Top WWX/Bottom LWJ, Light Bondage, Mentions of past abuse from YZY, mentions of Lan Zhan and other characters, slight somnophilia, Power Bottom LWJ)

To See You (Again) by FrameofMind, Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) ( E, 84k, WangXian, Modern AU, London, No Magic AU, lwj FUCKS, But Like Bottomji Fucks, Friends to Lovers, Self-Discovery, Pining, Grindr, Light Bondage, mild D/s themes, Experienced LWJ, Less Experienced WWX, straight boy WWX)

~*~

11. Hi! I’m looking for modern aus that include A-Yuan being legally adopted by WWX. I just read let’s play pretend and live our lives by tassos and the dynamics there between WWX and A-Yuan were so lovely, I wanna read more fics like that. Thank you!!

The Simplest Way Forward by harriet_vane (E, 70k, WangXian, Modern AU, Accidental Baby Acquisition,Kid Fic, explicit in much much later chapters, green card marriage (but not really), pining for your own husband, endless pining, Slow Burn, Happy Ending, Nothing else bad or traumatic happens to the baby, [Podfic of] The Simplest Way Forward by knight_tracer, a Spanish version of the fic, Turkish translation, Translation into Русский availabl) this has A-Yuan being adopted jointly by Wangxian

estuaries by vesna (mrsronweasley) (E, 34k, wangixan, modern, breakup/makeup, pining while fucking, single dad WWX, angst w/ happy ending)

🧡 i really want to know (who are you) by Stratisphyre (M, 19k, WangXian, Modern with Magic, Golden Core Reveal, Single Dad WWX, Reasonable Authority Figure LQR, Allusions to violence and murder, Hospitalization)

Magic Mishap by Regency_Bunny (T, 8k, wangxian, Modern, imbo LXC, Single Parent WWX, Kid Fic, Magic Tricks, Fluff and Humor, Child LSZ, Meet-Cute, Bunnies, Misunderstandings, Love at First Sight)

Picture Perfect by manaika (M, 22k, WangXian, Modern AU, Past Relationship(s), Widower WWX, Grief/Mourning, Getting Together, Families of Choice, Family Feels, Stepfather WWX, LSZ is a Wèi, Single Parent WWX, Aromantic Relationship, Platonic Life Partners, it’s all in the past and only mentioned/discussed when relevant, Sex-Favorable Asexual WWX, RomanceHurt/Comfort, Past Character Death, Food Intake Related Medical Issue (not what you think) )

The Late Great Custody Debate by stiltonbasket (G, 9k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, LXC/NMJ, JC & WWX & JYL, modern, Domestic Fluff, baby a-yuan, Single Parent WWX, LWJ is a confused rabbit owner, nielan are married, nhs is: xoxo gossip girl, Custody Arrangements, engagement, Confused WWX, WWX voice: if i’m the one with the kid why are you suing ME for child support?, LWJ kills his own love life in the worst way, Happy Ending)

The stuffed bunny, the beautiful nephew, and other gifts from Lan Qiren by deliciousblizzardshark (G, 8k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Modern AU, Single Parent WWX, Good Uncle LQR, Accidental Uncle Acquisition, Found Family, Fluff)

And They Were Quarantined series by thunderwear (E, 49k, WangXian, 3zun, quarantine fic, Friends to Lovers, Enemies to Lovers, LXC is a total slut for his roommates and he isn't even trying to hide it, Eventual Smut, Mutual Pining, Sexual Tension, Getting Together, Single Dad WWX, Long-Distance Relationship, Fluff, almost no angst, Happy Ending, First Time, Phone Sex, switching POV, Domestic Fluff, some smut, Rabbits, little a-yuan is the best, Anxiety Attacks, Touch-Starved LWJ gets his hug!, And Then Some ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡° ), a-yuan is best boy, A-Yuan is an agent of chaos and everyone thinks its cute, And they're right …but not for long? NHS should never be trusted alone with kids)

i guess i’ll have to change my plan by darjeelinh (E, 35k, WangXian, Modern, Meet-Cute, Falling In Love, Love at First Sight, First Kiss, First Time, Inspired by Before Sunrise (1995) and Before Sunset (2004), soft rom-com vibes, One Night Stands, but not really, Light Angst with a Happy Ending, they both have demi vibes in this fight me about it, Loss of Virginity, Misunderstandings, Separations, Reunions, wangxian canon Elopement™️ shenanigans, now with art) that part kinda starts in ch2 but it's there

~*~

12. Can you recommend any chat fics plz plz plz

Grandmaster of Meme-onic Cultivation by Hades_the_Blingking (T, 75k, LWJ/WWX/MXY, Chatlogs, chatfic, Texting, Comedy, Canon Compliant, Crack, Memes, Humourm JGY is best bitch, i am afraid of when LXC finally snaps, XY is a highly cursed person, NHS is still mvp tbh, Polyamory, Not Everyone Dies, Just have fun everyone!!!, Additional: please do not eat or drink reading this enough people have choked x-x)

The Bunnies and The Roomba: A Love Story by Nikki373 (T, 6k, wangxian, modern, Fluff, Humor, Idiots in Love, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Siblings, Siblings Try and Are Trying, College/University, 1 if by phone; 2 if by text; 3 if by mouth, Kisses, Romance, Falling In Love, LXC is the eternal captain of the good ship Wangxian) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

🔒 you’ve ruined my life (by not being mine) by cicer (E, 132k, WangXian, Modern AU, Developing Relationship, Idiots in Love, Awkward Flirting, teenage romance, Shameless WWX, slowburn, Demisexuality, references to lqr’s a+ parenting, references to jfm’s a+ parenting, but we’re gonna get a happy ending ANYWAY, references to yzy’s a+ parenting, Background NMJ/LXC, hints of nmj/lxc/jgy, bottom LWJ in chapter 15) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

Some of You by tangerinechar (M, 60k, WangXian, Modern AU, Social Media, Actor AU, Idiots in Love, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Love Confessions, Matchmaking, Light Angst) These next three feature a lot of chats within the story but aren't true chatfics

🔒Bodega Love by cicer (T, 11k, WangXian, Modern AU, bisexual disaster wwx, text conversations, reckless use of emojis, unrepentent goofiness, [Podfic of] Bodega Love by exmanhater, Fleur Rochard (fleurrochard), GoLBCollabs (GodOfLaundryBaskets), Gondolinpod (Gondolin), growlery, nicolasechs, Opalsong, RevolutionaryJo, Rhea314 (Rhea), [Podfic] Bodega Love by GinevraReads (GinevraFangirl), jennisaisquoi, kealdrakemna_collabs (kealdrakemna), KeriArentikaiMultipods (KeriArentikai), kisahawklin, mulberry_graceful, PandaReads (DrPanda99), shash_reads (sunkitten_shash)) is an amazing chat fic (sorry I don’t remember the number) also a good podfic by multiple artists

🔒Tax B(racket) by adrian_kres (T, 744, WangXian, Crack, Interactive, nielan, when your friends make a groupchat to talk about you and then feel bad about it, Rated T for language)

Carefully Orchestrated Plans (no strings attached) by Maledictius (T, 101k, WangXian, Modern AU, Chatting & Messaging, Orchestra, Fluff and Humor, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Gossip)

MDZS Chat Fic by Maaarken (M, 51k, JC/LXC/NMJ, LWJ/WWX/WN, JYL/JZX, WQ/MM, WLJ/WC, JGY/NHS, JC & NHS, Social Media, Chatting & Messaging, Modern, Miscommunication, Polyamor, Established Relationship, Light mentions of incest, because WWX is a dumb gremlin, Gremlin WWX, Matchmaking, Bad Matchmaking, Bad Flirting, Everyone swears a lot, Except the Lans, Light chengxian, Good WC, Bad SS, Some Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Dage is a bit of an ass, but he becomes better, JC is less angsty than canon, Is it slice of life if it's only the drama slices?, Oblivious WWX, Oblivious LWJ, Oblivious lots of people tbh, Slow Burn, mostly for the poly couples, Crack Treated Seriously, LXC is a troll, they talk about dicks a lot, LXC's mostly, NHS is a Good Bro, the best actually, Angst, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better)

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13. Hello! For itmf any mafia boss lan wangji? Thankyou!

🔒🧡 Rule Number One: Never get attached. by KizuKatana (E, 130k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O, Criminal underworld AU, Fluff and angst, Crime boss LWJ, Rouge criminal genius WWX, Explicit Sex)

Baby, You Ain’t Seen Nothing Yet by TriviasFolly (E, 177k, WangXian, Modern AU, A/B/O Dynamics, Alpha LWJ, Omega WWX, Omega LSZ, Mafia, Crime, Sects are Clans, Feral WWX, Feral Omegas, Nurse WWX, Dark LWJ, Dark WWX, Possessive LWJ, feminine WWX, wwx’s cannon desire to be a sugar baby/trophy wife, Breeding Kink, Mpreg)

The Damage You Do by stiricide (E, 188k, WIP, WangXian, Modern AU, Dom/Sub, Dark LWJ, Mobster LWJ, Possessive LWJ, Sex Worker WWX, Sugar Baby WWX, WWX adopts LSZ, Dubious Consent, each chapter has sex tag notes on it, BDSM, Sounding, Panic Attacks, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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14. A) I'm in the mood for a fic that has Lan Wangji being worried about his brother after the burning of Cloud Recesses, and one that includes a (preferably teary and emotional) reunion between the two. Bonus if it shows that Lan Wangji is actually a traumatized teenager who really really needs a hug from his big bro

B) I'm in the mood for a fic that focuses on the events in the Xuanwu cave. Preferably one that continues past those events in an AU fashion. Perhaps a feelings realization and a get-together? I remember I saw something once (can't find it again tho) that had Jiang Cheng not bringing anyone to rescue the pair, so they broke out on their own (or someone else saved them?) Anyway, a Xuanwu AU would be nice:)) @lmaodilligaf

14B)

Just go forward like you mean it by tawaen (M, 101k, WangXian, WWX & WN &WQ, WWX & JYL, NHS & WWX, Canon Divergence, WWx does not attend the Wen indoctrination, WWX saves Lotus Pier, Inventor WWX, No Golden Core Transfer, Sect Leader JYL, JC Has No Golden Core, Bad Parents JFM & YZY, Not JC Friendly, but he gets a happier ending than canon so don’t look here for bashing)

Hope Dangling by a String by KouriArashi (M, 70k, wangxian, canon divergence, fix-it, everyone lives, angst w happy ending, hurt/comfort, psychic bond, telepathy, communication, emotional/psychological abuse, jiang family feels, lan family feels, canon-typical violence, canon-typical politics, improper use of sacred forehead ribbons, gratuitous hair washing)

🔒 Not my lips you kissed (but my soul) by luckymoonly (M, 20k, WangXian, NMJ/LXC, Canon Divergence, Fix-It, Sunshot Campaign, Fall of Lotus Pier, Happy Ending, Starts from chapter 55, Romance, fast burn, WWX and NHS are BFF, Horny Teenagers, Loss of Virginity, Smut, Angst, getting together early, no loss of golden core, pregnant WWX, Mpreg, soup drama, Matchmaker WN, Smugji strikes again, Everyone Is Gay)

🔒 Bloom where you are planted by luckymoonly (M, 44k wangxian, MM/WQ, Canon Divergence, Fix It, courting, Mpreg, Sunshot Campaign, Fluff, Happy Ending, getting together early, Romance, WWX giving birth in the middle of the war? Most likely than you think!, Yúnmèng Siblings Feels, Smut, Drama, Blood and Violence, Minor Character Death, There Is Only One Bed, No Fall of Lotus Pier, Crossdressing, Shotgun Wedding, Mention of miscarriage (not WWX), wangxian Have a Breeding Kink, Giving Birth, Soft granduncle LQR)

Impermanence, Transience, Permanence by Best Bepsy (BepsyGray) (E, 39k, wangxian, canon divergence, unplanned pregnancy, mpreg, gore, sunshot campaign, assumed miscarriage, medical procedures, childbirth, golden core reveal)

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15. Hi I know it's embarrassing question but i have a preference for virgin wei ying trope could you plz 🙈🙏tell me an long recs that fit this trope hopefull 90000 words or more and completed.

🧡 Stunted, Starving Juvenility by TomatenMark (E, 887k, WangXian, WIP, Fix-it of sorts, Talisman master WWX, Not JFM Friendly, Study Arc, Getting together, Fluff and Angst, Engagement) I’m not quite sure what you mean by the « virgin Wei Ying » trope, but both he and LWJ are virgins at the beginning of this one, it’s very good, and part/Act 1& 2 I think are complete. If you’re referring to a « virgin Marry » Wei Ying who can do no wrong ever…. Idk any that are actually long enough or good or not horribly OOC.

My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun by nonplussed (T, 26k, WangXian, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Fix-It, Crossdressing, Idiots in Love, Sharing a Bed, Canon Divergence, Happy Ending, Mutual Pining, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies) Another one that might fit would be My Leaves Reach Ever for the Sun but there’s no sex in this one (it’s just really good and fun)

Until The End by abCEE (M, 365k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, war changes people, resulting to OOC, no pinning, Established Relationship, Mpreg, Good Uncle LQR, a little grey LWJ, a bit of JC bashing from LWJ, BAMF JYL, 16 years of yearning, mainly CQL verse but has scenes from the novel as well, LSZ is WangXian’s Child, WWX Has a New Golden Core, Canon Rewrite, Happy Ending, Fix-It of Sorts) If you’re talking about the cannon fact that they’re both virgin romantics there’s too many to recommend, If I’m remembering correctly this has a bit of the innocent WWX in body and later mind? Kinda? so what are you looking for exactly?

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16. this request is for itmf. it’s a bit random and specific but are there any fics where there is a bit more focus or a scene where they discuss wwx’s hairstyle switching? like from his ponytail to his half up hairstyle?

it doesn’t have to be the focus of the fic ofc but please help me find if there’s any fics where they actually address that change

thank you! 🫶

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17. Hi! The other day I read a fanfic that basically was that mxy was pregnant before wwx was pulled in, so I was hoping anyone could give me recs with that premise

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If you didn’t get an answer to your ask here, don’t forget to make use of @mdzs-kinkmeme and MDZS KINK MEME on Dreamwidth. Authors actually do use them for ideas. You may get what you order!***Your prompt doesn’t have to be kink! Fluff, crack, whatever - it’s all good!***