#carefree highway

[loveherallican-blog]

Carefree Highway - Gordon Lightfoot - with lyrics

[culturevulturette]

2023 Music Challenge

First Song You Liked That You Still Listen To:  Carefree Highway - Gordon Lightfoot

I remember listening to this on a little transister in my room when I was maybe 11.  Loved it then.  Love it even more now.  

[lionmageaz]

The Arizona Republic: Why did Gordon Lightfoot write 'Carefree Highway'? Here's his answer

You learn something new almost every day. Was already feeling down because of Lightfoot's death when I stumbled onto this.

[mr-c-c]

Another legend has passed.  Canadian legend and icon, Gordon Lightfoot has died.  Was not well versed in his music, but "Carefree Highway" was a favourite.  Rest in peace, Gordon.

[grudnick]

CIMG0801a by Skatole Grudnick Via Flickr: November 17, 1938 - May 1, 2023 After 50+ active years of hit song making and international album sales well into the multi-millions, it's safe to say that esteemed singer-songwriter and musician Gordon Lightfoot resides with some very exclusive company atop the list of all-time greats.

[idesofrevolution]

Cult of Personality

The blistering New Mexico heat bared down on Douglas' '99 Chevrolet Cavalier. The small blue coupe meandered up I-25, enroute from Las Cruces to Santa Fe. The old man quietly sighed to himself, fruitlessly trying to think of a better pitch to sell his Solar Panels to the rich folks up in Albuquerque. Las Cruces ended up being a bust, just as much as Tucson: the damn things were just too expensive up front. Not that the company gave a single damn, quotas are quotas. Thus, still empty handed, he passed the exit sign for Socorro- still an hour until he'd reach his destination.

As he passed the exit, he noticed a bright red glint a bit further up the road. Douglas adjusted his glasses, squinting his eyes to see. He slowed down on the empty highway as the sight became clearer. It was a car. In fact, it was a bright red '67 Mustang; it's owner leaned on the hood as black smoke bellowed from the tailpipe. Douglas looked down at his watch, knowing fully well that he needed to be in Albuquerque before sundown. Though, as he approached the broken down muscle car, the sweltering heat of the Chihuahuan Desert at high noon would be a killer. The young man leaning on the car turned his head, not even sweating a single drop, and stared blankfaced at Douglas as he pulled up.

Douglas hit the brakes, stopping his car right alongside the young man. He strode up to the old man's car, leaning in and resting his elbows onto window ledge. His stoic expression slowly melted into a wide grin, licking his lips before he spoke.

"You headed toward Albuquerque?" A thick Texan accent flowed from the man's lips, his dark brown eyes nearly black even in the blinding light of the sun. Douglas felt an odd twinge of nervousness as the grinning young man casually smiled; it felt off. Behind that handsome visage, something was brewing within.

"I'm headed to Santa Fe, but I can call you a mechanic from Socorro, he'd be here in a jiffy!" The young man's smile didn't fade, he simply shook his head 'no.'

"Phone's got no service out here, brother. I sure would appreciate a ride. It's just a mile or so up the road." He turned, pointing down the seemingly endless highway. Before Douglas could deny the young man his request, the hitchhiker leaned in closely. It may have been the heat, or it may have been his exhaustion, but for no more than two seconds, he thought he'd heard whispers blowing in the wind. Douglas said nothing, and the young man's grin grew wider. "Thank you, brother. I'll hop in the back."

As he strode back to his car, grabbing a duffel bag from the trunk of his car, Douglas wanted to slam on the gas and blitz out of there. An air of menace surrounded this man, despite his magnetic charisma; yet his foot did not press down on the pedal. The passenger side door opened, as the man hopped into the back seat of his coupe. Too late. The door slammed by itself, evidently thanks to a gust of wind he neither felt nor heard. He pulled the car out of park, and off the duo went. He glanced into his rearview mirror, taking in the sight of his hitchhiker.

He nearly took up the entire backseat. The duffel bag sat next to him, his muscular arms tightly holding it against his side. He was easily above six feet tall, likely even more than six and a half. He threw his arms behind his head, kicking his large feet onto Douglas' armrest. Outwardly, he seemed like just another good looking guy- one he'd likely see on his granddaughter's TikTok. But his guard remained on high alert.

"Just keep driving, brother. I'll tell ya when to turn off." His velvety voice was disarming, a carefree confidence just wafted from him alongside the strange heat which seemed to emanate from his muscular body. For about an hour, the two sat in silence as they rocketed down the highway. Each glance he shot into his mirror, Douglas would see the man smirking- his gaze never meeting the old man's. Thus, as the road veered to the left in the distance, their silence was broken. "Don't turn, just keep going straight." He carried a tone of authority in his voice, a natural command that would be highly unlikely to be ignored.

"There isn't a road straight ahead..." The hitchhiker finally stared into the mirror, his eyes locked on Douglas' reflection.

"Go straight."

As if of their own accord, the old man's hands kept steadfast on their trajectory. As the road began to curve, the Cavalier shot in the commanded direction, straight into the sands of the desert. They swerved, avoiding large rocks and towering Saguaros, before the foothills of the mountains started to come into view. Through the mirage before them, Douglas could see what looked like a campsite ahead, just beyond the thicket of green brambles. A crowd of maybe 50-70 people had gathered in the bowels of the desert. For what purpose, Douglas did not yet know. But as he slowly began his approach, the entire crowd had turned their eyes toward the car. Like the parting of the Red Sea, the crowd split in two; leaving a clear straight shot toward a makeshift platform right at the base of the mountain.

"Thank you for the lift, brother. Do me a favor, will ya? Stick around. I have a feeling you'd love what we have going on today." Again, his timbre was less of a request- and far more of a demand. The tone was never raised, nor was it ever aggressive. However, he felt as if one would be wise to heed his instructions. Douglas simply nodded, turning the car off, and opening the door.

The crowd was filled with a diverse cast of people, all of which were fit, energetic, and young. Not a single soul had seen a day over 30, no less than 21. They stared with vacant expressions in silence until the hitchhiker exited the backseat, at which point they erupted in cheers and applause. Douglas watched with confusion and shock as the young man walked toward the platform, shaking hands, playfully punching shoulders, giving out high fives like condoms at a clinic. Who the hell had he picked up? Where the hell was he? As he hopped atop the wooden structure in one single leap, easily five feet off the ground, he shucked the grey tank top and tossed it into the crowd. A young woman caught it, tenderly holding it against her chest as the onlookers admired his chiseled build. Raising his arms, the crowd went silent.

"Brothers and Sisters, today is the day! Are you ready? Are you rearing? Tell me!" The crowd erupted, Douglas stared around the transfixed athletes, feeling entirely out of place- as if he wasn't meant to be there. "For one full year, you have trusted me to build your bodies into machines: daily training, nightly runs, some of y'all are out there doing some of the hardest workouts we have to offer. Look at you now!" More cheers. "When I told you that your bodies were temples, to treat them as such, each and every one of you took my words seriously. I said that each of you had the potential to become something incredible. You said, but Cameron, I can't ever get to where you're at! But guess what? You followed the regimen, you became part of our family, you became a part of something so much bigger than you even knew. And we are here today, your induction into our movement, the final hoo-rah!" Mimicking the leader, every single one of the parroting people began to chant hoo-rah, once... twice... thrice... like a warcry on the battlefield. Douglas turned, searching through the sea of people to find an escape route. Instead, he only saw five men of the same jacked physique of the leader handing out what looked to be bottles of water. Peering closely, the unlabeled bottles carried a milky white liquid.

"What sort of Jonestown shit is this..." The bottles were disperse quickly amongst the crowd, the cheery if not dim young men had seemingly finished in minutes as the leader droned on. Douglas took the opportunity to make his way back toward the car, only for a moment of dread to wash over him. It was gone. In it's place, a line of tire tracks came to an abrupt end, no vehicle in sight. The old man felt a hand on his shoulder, turning quickly to be face to face once again with 'Cameron' himself.

"I wanted to thank you for helping me, Douglas. I'm more than happy to reimburse you, you've saved the day." Whispers again started to rise around him, incoherently babbling a language far outside of his own knowledge. "Today, my friend, your journey begins." Douglas tried to pry his eyes away from Cameron to no avail. The deep brown eyes seemed to swallow any thought, any desire, any need. Cameron's pupils started to pulse, mimicking the old man's heartbeat, growing larger and larger, until the inky blackness had swallowed his entire iris & sclera. Cameron smirked as he watched the old man's posture fall forward, his shoulders drooping and his jaw hanging loosely. "Mmmmmmm. Good, fall deep, vessel. For your assistance today, your reward is to be one with me, just as all in my inner circle have done."

The black-eyed stud gently guided Douglas away from the crowd, who were busy downing the contents of their respective bottles just as moans and groans started ringing out from the poor fools. The five members of Cameron's inner circle followed suit, their eyes flooding black and mouths curling into devilish grins. The group soon arrived in a clearing of the thicket, circling around a pile of filthy clothes strewn across the dirt. Douglas was slowly guided to them, entirely unwavering in his stonefaced obedience.

"Well, my children. You continue to serve me well. I admit, this body must be hard to say no to. He is a joy to wear." The five goons chuckled menacingly, one or two of them groping at their bulges through their running shorts. "Today, as you all did before him, Douglas aided me in my time of need. On a momentous day as this, such acts must be rewarded. Today, you welcome your new brother." With a swipe of his hand, Douglas' corporate clothing dissolved into thin air, burnt ash flying into the desert wind. He stood there in the nude, the group watching in anticipation as Cameron simply pointed down to the pile of reeking clothes, and Douglas could do nothing but obey.

One by one the articles began to tremble, before sliding across the sand toward their soon-to-be owner. Cameron snickered, snapping his finger. A sweaty jockstrap quickly flew into the air, levitating for a moment before shooting toward the old man's groin. Like a liquid hitting a solid, the grimy fabric collided with Douglas, warping and wrapping around his legs and package until it had settled into it's new home. The brothers grinned, as they watched the old man's admittedly humble bulge swell rapidly. It expanded outward, his balls dropping like ten pound weights as they grew, and his cock elongated and widened until it peeked it's head out from the bottom of the sweat stained pouch. Douglas moaned as his ass swelled thick and bulbous, the formerly wrinkled and smooth skin sprouting dark brown hairs as his bush followed suit. Cameron grinned, strutting over to cup his hand over the musky horsecock and balls that had sprang from his jock.

Another snap of his fingers, and the shorts shot upward, wrapping around Douglas' legs, quickly inflating them with thick mass. His hamstrings widened, his quads becoming hard as iron while his calves tightened. The chicken legs he used to possess now were two massive slabs of hard meat. Cameron continued to grope and massage his prey's bulge, the fabric of the jockstrap growing sticky with his pre as he moaned. The five grunts slowly lowered their own shorts and jockstraps, releasing their sweaty dicks into their waiting palms.

"You humans are so... simple." *snap* The socks slithered like snakes across the ground, surrounding Douglas' toes and sliding around his heel and fastening around his ankle. "All it takes is slipping into some attractive male, and you'll be worshipping at my feet. As will you." The old man's feet cracked and stretched wide, his soles growing soft and sweaty as the stinking running shoes melted around his gigantic feet. The rubber and fabric contorted and stretched, the funk of a thousand runs in the desert heat wafting from within their confines as they reformed into a perfect fit. The group started to stroke their cocks, small droplets of black sludge seeping from their slits. Cameron grinned, sliding his hand into Douglas' jockstrap and wrapping it around his throbbing member. "You, however, will be a prince among men."

*snap* The pot belly which had plagued Douglas for 30 some odd years slowly receded, fading into obscurity as if it had never been there to begin with. His abs tightened, his pecs became lean, his waist slimmed quickly with powerful obliques and cum gutters pointing toward his hose. Whispers started to echo in the wind as the five cultists stroked their cocks, streams of black, tar-like slime coalescing into pools at their feet.

"You will be a father of my spawn, a carrier of my seed." Cameron continued to pump the massive dick, watching with malicious glee as his arms grew sinewy and lean, his hands large and wide, his fingers long and slender. "Today, our army is founded." The possessed stud placed his hand on the balding head of the former salesman, pushing him to his knees; his mind blank as his master's shorts slid down to his thighs, releasing a grotesque sight. Whatever his host's member used to be was long gone, now corrupted with demonic seed. It stood upright, intricate black symbols wrapping around the foot long shaft all the way to his foreskin. "Receive my blessing, mortal. Be one with me." The ripe rod inched forward, dripping thick globules of the black sludge onto Douglas' thighs as it pressed against his face. His mouth opened, and it was over.

In a single thrust, the monstrous cock pushed past his lips and deep into his throat as Cameron began to face fuck the old man. The pools of black sludge from his minions writhed toward him, engulfing his legs in their glistening form before slinking toward his tight hole. Cameron threw his head back in ecstasy, howling a thunderous and unnatural roar as his underling's seed seeped into Douglas' rear. The sounds of squelching, cracking, suction rang out as the roars began to grow louder. Each slap of his face against Cameron's bush reformed his aged face. New hairs sprouted on his scalp, a thick forest of black spreading across his head. His lips plumped as they slurped on the smelly cock, his skin tanning and all wrinkles disappearing. The last vestiges of the black sludge squeezed into his hole, and with a wicked, fiendish grin the possessed stud cursed out into the open desert air:

"WE... ARE... ONE!" 'Cameron' released his gift down into his new son's throats, a torrent of black seed rushing out of his length and into Douglas' transformed body. His veins started to flush dark, until an inky blackness had sprawled across his lean, taut figure. Whatever remained of Douglas sunk into a void of darkness, only to be encompassed by the viscous corruption. 'Cameron' grinned, his will quickly overwhelming the spirit of the old man before slipping his demonic essence within it. More and more of him flooded into the body, squeezing into the soul, until it was unclear where Douglas began and 'Cameron' ended. Dismounting his new creation, he watched with glee as the convulsions died down, and it's eyes opened, revealing an endless inky black as it grinned.

"Yes, my master, this vessel shall fit our needs quite nicely." As his eyes slowly started to return to their normal hazel, the corruptive sludge within his veins reformed, pushing upward through the capillaries and into the skin, now little more than tattoos to the naked eye. 'Cameron' grinned, another human ensnared into his dark consciousness, little more than a husk to house his essence.

'Dougie' smirked as he pulled up his fetid shorts, quickly masking his cock dripping the black sludge of his master and brothers as he threw his sweaty arms around his new family, walking toward their new army.

---

"Alright, Santa Fe! Are we ready to get fit?" The crowd erupted as Cameron stood before them, his arms raised on the roof of the building, grinning over the 200 new disciples he was prepared to imbue with his gift. Those who had been with him at Socorro stood silently amongst the unsuspecting enthusiasts, ready to 'assist' their 'ascension' should the need arise. Just beside the building, his sons had gathered behind the truck in a circle, chanting words beyond our most vivid imagination as they stroked eachother's musky cocks into the large vat of water. 'Dougie', now a favorite of Cameron, devilishly grinned as he felt the first torrent of his corruption spew into the clear water, the thick black sludge slithering about before dissolving into the liquid as if it were never there. Round after round, they shot their father's seed into water, until there was more of the seed than there was of the water.

"Alright, brothers. I think that should do it." His deep, bellowing voice brought each of his brothers attention on him as they put their cocks back into their shorts. "Hah, and not a minute too soon." The crowd of feckless initiates began to line up, in desperate need of hydration, of which 'Dougie' was more than happy to provide. He hopped up onto the bed of the truck, as his brothers ladled their refreshment into individual bottles. Snatching one, 'Dougie' snickered. "Who's thirsty?"

[dippindaz]

Eddie Munson x reader: they support him as he goes on his first tour & she gets jealous of his girl fans

Thank you for requesting! I hope you enjoy ❤️ ends with some good old fluff of course.

The van rumbled beneath you as Corroded Coffin’s tour vehicle winds down another lonely stretch of highway. The guys are in the back, swapping riffs and yelling over who gets to control the cassette deck next. Eddie’s laughter rings out, carefree and warm, but you’re sitting shotgun, staring out the window, your thoughts a million miles away.

The tour was supposed to be everything Eddie dreamed of—his big break, the culmination of years spent pouring his soul into music. And you were thrilled for him, genuinely. You’d quit your job and packed your bags to be by his side, to make sure he didn’t lose himself in the chaos of the road.

But no one warned you about the screaming girls.

They swarm at every stop, clutching at Eddie like he’s the second coming of Ozzy. He takes it all in stride, charming smiles and playful winks, basking in the attention without a second thought. You know he loves you, but every autograph he signs, every picture he poses for with an arm slung around some adoring fan, feels like a pinprick to your chest.

“Penny for your thoughts?” Eddie’s voice startles you. He’s climbed into the passenger seat, leaning back with his arms crossed, his usual easy grin replaced with a look of concern. “You’ve been quiet today.”

“I’m fine,” you say too quickly, your gaze fixed on the horizon.

He tilts his head, studying you. “Liar.”

Eddie’s dark eyes linger on you, searching for cracks in your armor. “C’mon princess. Don’t do that thing where you bottle it up until it explodes. Talk to me.”

You shift uncomfortably in your seat, wrapping your arms around yourself. “It’s nothing, Eddie. Really. Just tired from the drive.”

“Right,” he says, drawing out the word skeptically. His fingers drum idly on the dashboard, but his expression remains serious. “Well, when you’re ready to tell me what’s really going on, I’m here.”

You force a small smile, but it feels brittle. “Thanks.”

Eddie watches you for another moment, then sighs and stands. “Alright, Miss ‘I’m Fine.’ But you owe me one later.” He plants a kiss on the crown of your head before retreating to the back of the van, his energy magnetic as always, drawing the guys back into their chaotic jam session.

You let out a slow breath, the tension in your chest refusing to fade. The rest of the drive passes in a blur of laughter and off-key singing from the band, but you barely hear it, too busy wrestling with the ache that’s been gnawing at you since the tour began.

—————————————————————————

The venue is loud, packed with fans pressed shoulder to shoulder, a sea of heads bobbing to the beat of Corroded Coffin’s set. Eddie is electric on stage, commanding the crowd with every growl of his guitar and every howl into the mic. His hair flies as he moves, sweat glistening under the stage lights.

You’re proud of him. God, you’re so proud of him. But standing on the sidelines, you feel like an outsider in his world.

When the band wraps their set, the crowd explodes into cheers, and the guys bask in the adoration as they head backstage. You linger behind, watching as a cluster of girls presses against the barricade, calling Eddie’s name. He’s stopped to sign a few things, that grin of his plastered across his face. One of the girls leans in close, shouting something you can’t make out that makes him laugh.

Your stomach twists. You know it’s nothing—Eddie has never given you a reason to doubt him—but the insecurity and unease claws at you.

“Hey, you coming?” Gareth calls from the side door, snapping you out of your trance.

“Yeah,” you mumble, forcing your legs to move.

————————————-————————————

The backstage room is a frenzy of noise—gear being packed up, beers being cracked open, and the guys reliving their favorite moments from the show. Eddie is the center of it all, animated as he recounts some joke a fan told him.

You sit on the edge of a couch, picking at your fingers, trying to blend into the background. Eddie notices eventually, his grin faltering as his gaze locks onto you. He excuses himself from the group, weaving through the chaos until he’s standing in front of you.

“Hey,” he says softly, crouching to meet your eye level. “You’ve been off all day. What’s going on?”

You shake your head, forcing a smile. “I told you, I’m fine.”

“Bullshit,” he says without hesitation, his brows furrowing. “You’re not fine. You barely said a word during the drive, you didn’t even watch most of the set, and now you’re sitting here like a ghost. Talk to me.”

Your chest tightens. “Eddie, I said I’m fine. Can we just drop it?”

“No, we can’t just drop it!” His voice is sharper than he intended, but he took a deep breath to steady himself and glanced around the area. “Look, I know something’s bothering you, and I can’t fix it if you won’t let me in.”

The frustration and exhaustion bubble up, and before you can stop yourself, the words spill out.

“Fine! You want to know what’s bothering me? It’s those girls, Eds. The ones who throw themselves at you after every show. The ones who look at you like you’re the only person in the world.”

Eddie blinks, taken aback. “Wait, what? You’re jealous?”

You cross your arms, feeling both exposed and defensive. “I’m not jealous. I just… I don’t like the way they act around you, okay? And I don’t like how easy it is for you to smile at them like it’s nothing.”

His expression softens as he stands and takes a step closer. “Angel, you know they don’t mean anything to me.”

“I know that,” you snap, your voice wavering. “But it’s hard to feel like I matter when there’s a line of girls getting your attention, and your winks, and laughs.”

Eddie stares at you, guilt flickering across his face. He opens his mouth to respond but hesitates, as if searching for the right words. “I… I’m sorry… I didn’t realize…”

“Yeah,” you say quietly, your anger fading into a dull ache. “I feel like I’m just here, watching you live your dream while I fade into the background.”

Eddie shifted, sinking down onto the couch beside you, his shoulders slumping. “You’re not in the background,” he says, his voice low and steady. “You’re the reason I’m here. You believed in me when no one else did. Hell, you believed in me when I didn’t.”

You glance at him, tears burning your eyes. “Then why does it feel like I’m competing for your attention?”

He exhales slowly, reaching out to take your hand. “I’m an idiot. I’ve been so caught up in all this—the shows, the fans—that I didn’t stop to think about how it might feel for you. But you’re not competing, okay? You’re the only thing I want in this world and I’d give it all up for you. Nothing even comes close to you.”

You look down at your joined hands, his thumb brushing gently over your knuckles. “I just… I don’t want to lose you, Eddie… but I don’t want to hold you back either.”

“You won’t,” he says firmly, leaning closer. “You couldn’t lose me if you tried. I’m yours, sweetheart. Always. And you’re not holding me back.”

The tension between you eased and Eddie tugged you into his arms, holding you tightly. His embrace is warm and familiar, grounding you in a way nothing else could.

“I’ll do better,” he murmurs against your hair. “I’ll make sure you know how much you mean to me. Starting now.”

You pulled back slightly, looking up at him, a soft smile tugging at your lips. “Yeah? How are you gonna do that?”

He smirks, the mischievous glint in his eye returning. “How about a private serenade? Just you, me, and my guitar?”

You laugh softly, the sound easing the last of the tension in your chest. “That sounds like a good start.”

Eddie grins and presses a lingering kiss to your forehead. “Good. Now let’s get out of here. I think we’ve had enough of this circus for one night.”

With his arm wrapped around you, Eddie leads you out of the noisy backstage area, his presence steady and reassuring. For the first time in days, the knot in your chest began to unwind.

Because as long as you have Eddie, the rest doesn’t matter.

[wileys-russo]

off limits (6) II a.putellas x león!reader

part one part two part three part four part five

off limits (6) II a.putellas x león!reader

"ale where are we going?" you laughed, leaning back into your seat more as your girlfriend sped down the highway. "stop asking me princesa, it is a surprise!" was all you got in return alongside a toothy grin as barcelona raced past her window in a blur.

you adored when alexia was in moods like this; so jovial and free spirited, lowering her stern serious facade and allowing a more bubbly and playful one to shine through.

as a friend, team mate, role model, footballer, sister, captain, lover she had many sides to her and you'd argue till you were blue in the face that some of those she reserved only for when it was the two of you, such as the childlike joy which currently oozed from her.

you'd only been back from training long enough to shower and change before she'd cornered you in her living room, grabbing your hand, twirling you and kissing her way softly up your arm, informing the two of you were to now go for a drive together.

you hadn't questioned it, well you hardly had time to before the taller girl had thrown you over her shoulder and smacked your ass, stating you needed warmer clothes as she tossed you down on her bed.

she'd shut up your questions then by throwing herself on top of you with a grin and peppering your face with kisses, biting your cheek playfully and murmuring in catalan that all would be revealed soon enough.

your heart soared to see her so carefree and happy that afternoon, the two of you bundling up a little more and leaving her apartment hand in hand. unable to show much affection all day you were both admittedly touch starved, making sure at all times that at least a centimeter of your skin pressed against the others.

alexia going as far as to challenge you to a race once you entered the carpark the two of you sprinted off laughing like children as you beat her there, rewarded by her pressing you against the vehicle and kissing you so hard it had stole the air from your lungs.

now as the two of you drove away to an unknown final destination you looked at her with a soft smile and hopelessly lovesick gaze.

her ever alluring and warm hazel orbs stayed hidden behind her most favorite pair of sunglasses. you once teased she liked them more than you when she'd tackled your sister to the ground to get them back as mapi stole them off her head after training one afternoon.

no one but the two of you knowing the truth behind your relationship at that stage you'd left separately, quickly meeting up at your apartment where you'd taken your turn to steal her glasses. the taller girl chasing you around and around till she'd finally caught and taken you down to the floor as well, your combined laughters filling the cosy atmosphere of her apartment.

grinning up at her you'd simply slipped the sunglasses on and pulled her down into a passionate kiss, pretending not to notice how eager she still was to take them off your eyes and hide them away in her pocket, not breaking the kiss for even a second as she did.

now back to your pining stare toward her in the drivers seat her pink hair fell down her shoulders in gentle waves, gradually fading back to blonde with each wash much to your insistent bothering that she should dye it pink again, but you knew you were fighting a losing battle.

the top of her head was tucked away beneath a black beanie, loose strands of hair whipping around in the wind from where her window was wound down. the late afternoon sun was glorious and bathed her in its golden glow, highlighting her tanned sun kissed skin and sharp jawline which as far as you were concerned could have been carved by the gods themselves.

her plump pink lips stayed curled into a cheeky grin, white pearly teeth flashing out at you as one hand stayed on your thigh and the other gripped the steering wheel.

at alexia's insistence you had on matching nike hoodies, hers a pale pink and yours a mint green, the midfielder ignoring your teasings about how cute it was that she wanted you two to match, shutting you up with a loving kiss.

"take a picture, it will last longer than staring at me bebita." the older girl smirked, her laughter bouncing around the car before being snatched away in the wind as you grabbed your phone and did exactly that.

"i am not staring, i am admiring my beautiful girlfriend." you retorted happily seeing a slight blush creep up her neck at your words, her eyes darting off the road for just a fleeting second to look at you, shining with a type of tender adoration she'd not felt warm her heart before you had turned her world upside down.

"okay amor put this on por favor, but backwards so you cannot see anything." alexia reached down beside her and handed you a bright pink balaclava. "why do you have this?" you'd laughed so much your stomach hurt, clutching at your aching abdomen muscles.

"it is albas! just put it on before we get there, i told you it was a surprise and you are going to ruin it!" alexia whined with a playful grumpy pout. you rolled your eyes but did as she asked, your girlfriend waving her free hand in front of your face a few times to check you really couldn't see.

"if you are taking me somewhere to murder me i must warn you that i have not written you into my will yet so you will get nothing." you'd smirked beneath the soft fabric of the balaclava hearing a raspy chuckle beside you.

"if i was going to murder you cariño it would not be for your money, i have more than enough of my own." alexia shook her head in amusement as you felt her take a few turns, the road a little bumpier now.

"okay la reina sorry i forgot you could just sell one of your millions of trophies. how much is a ballon d'or worth on the black market? if i make it out of this alive maybe i will just rob you. i have a balaclava now they will never know it was me." you mocked her, squirming as she pinched your leg for the teasing.

"are we nearly there?" you groaned, starting to feel a little ill as the car turned and bumped and you stayed in the dark. "si niña bonita, soon." her fingers interlocked with yours, bringing the back of your hand up to her mouth and kissing it sweetly, repeating the tender gesture over and over until finally you heard gravel crunching and cracking under the tyres and felt the car still, engine cutting off.

she let go of your hand as her door opened and closed, still unable to see you jumped as yours suddenly opened next, your girlfriend reaching over to unbuckle you. "can i take this off now?" you asked, alexia grabbing your hand before you could.

"almost." she helped you up and out of your seat, arms locked around your torso and helping you to walk, steadying you as you tripped a few times, her lips kissing your neck apologetically.

"joder." you hissed quietly with a wince as suddenly she yanked off the balaclava and sunlight pierced your eyes. "sorry." she mumbled with another kiss to your cheek this time, still wrapped tightly around you as her chin came to rest on your shoulder.

"oh alexia." you smiled in surprise as your vision adjusted, the two of you stood at the lookout of turó de la rovira, a 360 degree view of barcelona greeting your eyes.

golden hour almost over and the sun starting to set the sky had turned a soft coral, streaks of bright orange and yellow dashed across it like god was painting the sky just for the two of you.

"do you like it?" your girlfriend mumbled, hugging you even tighter as you nodded. "i love it, its beautiful. i have not been here since i was little." your smile was nostalgic and soft, alexia melting at the look of awe and wonder on your face.

"buena hermosa." alexia sighed happily, your hands finding hers and intertwining, her arms still tightly encasing you as the two of you watched the sunset together in a peaceful and comfortable silence.

in that moment you were certain that you'd never felt more loved by someone. never more appreciated and tenderly adored than by the tall catalan hugging you tightly and lazily kissing your jaw, whispering soft confessions of just how much she adored you over and over in your ear.

never in that moment did you once think things between the two of you would end up how they had right here right now.

"my contract is up this year with barca ale, and i will not be renewing it."

sat across from her in the physio room you watched your ex lovers heart physically break as you delivered the final blow, unveiling a secret which had haunted you for longer than you dared to dwell on.

"what do you mean you are not renewing it? I-" alexia struggled to get out her words as you looked on, eyes swirling with a storm of guilt, relief, pity and empathy. "barca is your home. you cannot go somewhere else!" she forced out, fists balled by her sides.

"that is why i am here so late, i just had my final meeting with jonatan about it. the decision is made alexia, there is no going back now." your voice was firm though not unkind, despite what was going on between the two of you this news was not something you would ever use as a means to make her feel guilty.

"no no no por favor amor por favor." within a second she had wedged her body back between your legs, clasping your face in her hands, tears welling up in her eyes.

"it is done, the lawyers were there and everything." your voice was barely above a whisper as you squeezed your eyes tightly shut, unable to bring yourself to look into her broken ones any longer. your heart felt like someone was closing it in a tight fist as you heard her try to stifle back her tears.

"oh ale." you sighed, wrapping your arms around her neck as she moved to push her face into your shoulder, her hands tightly gripping your hips as if she could hold you to stay there forever.

you held her for as long as she needed, there was more you wanted to explain but you knew she needed time to process what you'd already said.

you weren't even sure if you'd processed it yourself. there was still six more weeks of active games in between breaks, and you would still be on the team for each one of those.

but the fact that after that this would no longer be your home, no more would you don the infamous red and blue colours of your team, surrounded by girls who you looked at like family, was a terrifying prospect you refused to think about just yet.

"sorry." alexia mumbled, pulling herself away and wiping her nose, the two of you letting go as she moved to sit back on the bench opposite you.

"where will you go?" she questioned quietly after she'd taken a moment to compose herself, embarrassment now joining the boiling pot of emotions bubbling up inside her. "that is the other thing." you exhaled deeply, shifting uncomfortably at the rest of your news as alexia frowned curiously.

"i won't." you started simply, fiddling with your hands in your lap. "i do not understand." alexia's frown deepened as you sighed again, forcing yourself to look away from the floor and back into her eyes.

"i am not moving to any other team ale, after this season i am retiring from football all together."

"que? why?" was all the older girl could manage to spit out, her head a spinning mess of questions and thoughts and feelings, all far too dizzying for her to make sense of any of it.

"because of me?" she followed up quietly, daring to allow her eyes to look at you for a moment before they moved to look at the wall beside your head. "not completely, i promise there is much more to it than that." you answered honestly.

"but what happened with us is a part of it." alexia stated more than questioned as you nodded, now the one to push yourself off the bench, moving to stand in front of her and gently grabbing her hands as she flinched momentarily in surprise.

"i love barcelona more than life. i love living here, i love that my friends and family are all here, i love how it has been playing football and a name for myself here, and I will always be a culer till the day I die-" you started softly, squeezing her hands to get the girl to look at you.

"-which is why i could never play for another team. but i would be lying if i said just because i love living here doesn’t mean it feels like home here anymore alexia, because you were a big part of that feeling and now you are gone from it." you forced out, hating the way her face fell at your words.

"i am not gone, i am right here!" alexia whispered desperately. "then why does it feel like you are so far away?" you smiled sadly, knowing your words would hurt her but needing her to hear them none the less.

"a part of me will always love you alexia. but that same part aches that as much as I love you, you are not mine to love anymore." you paused to take a shaky breath, hands still tightly holding onto hers.

"like i said i am so tired. i am so tired of fighting with you, arguing with my sister, feeling angry all the time is exhausting. and so is being unsure how to fix and mend relationships which mean so much to me, while still trying to get over how much it hurt for them to break in the first place." you poured your heart out honestly.

"football has always meant a lot to me but i need more, i crave something out of life that football can no longer give me. and i promise i was thinking about that before anything happened with us." you spoke sincerely, again not wanting her to blame herself for a decision that held a lot more meaning to you than you were currently able to explain.

"i hope that with some time and some distance to grow maybe we can be friends again one day ale, I know you will always be in my sisters life as her best friend and she will need you when i leave." you smiled, wiping away a stray tear which threatened to fall.

"you have not told her?" alexia asked, struggling to process what you were saying, struggling to breath as with each word you spoke the room seemed to feel smaller and smaller.

"no, not yet. and i am trusting you one last time not to tell her about this, not to tell anyone. i will tell them when i am ready and in my own way." you requested, again squeezing her hands gently in yours as she nodded.

"i cannot change your mind, can i?" she returned it with an equally sad smile of her own. "no, nobody can." you confirmed, letting go of her and taking a step back.

"but if barcelona is not your home anymore, then where do you plan to go?"

~

"hola." mapi looked up in surprise as you stood in front of her, already changed after training with your bag slung over your shoulder ready to go.

"hola hermana." your sister greeted slowly, taken aback by the casual nature of your approach, not having properly spoken to her for well over a week now.

"would you and ingrid want to come over for dinner?" you asked with a raised eyebrow, the norweigen sat a few lockers away glancing over hearing her voice, tapping aitana's leg signalling she was no longer listening as the girl spoke with her.

"tonight?" mapi asked, eyes wide in shock as your own rolled. "no next week. si maria, tonight." you replied much more curtly, tapping your foot impatiently when you didn't receive an answer.

"we will be there." ingrid answered you with a soft smile when her girlfriend didn't. "buena, come over whenever." you sent her a smile and shrugged then with that you were gone.

"estás bien mi amor?" ingrid moved to sit beside her girlfriend who seemed lost in her thoughts, mapi nodding that she was okay and bending down to continue lacing up her shoes as aitana handed ingrid her bag with a smile, wishing them both goodbye.

"see i told you, you just had to wait and to let her come to you."

~

dinner had been going as good as it could have been so far.

things were a little awkward and frosty at first, but with ingrid acting as a buffer you managed to settle into a much more comfortable conversation style.

you'd dished up dinner, grateful to have cooking it as a distraction as you encouraged your guests to do majority of the talking. the two planned to go to norway soon during international break as she had national team commitments.

they were going to see ingrids family and take a few days to themselves in between games finishing and needing to return to barca, and spent time telling you all about what they had planned to do and see there in the short while.

ingrid had of course extended the invitation for you to join them, your sister also eager for you to come. you'd met ingrids family before so you knew it would not be an issue, however you had already committed to malta and wouldn't put it past the younger putellas to track you down in another country to drag you there with her, having been texting you repeatedly about it.

so you waved off the invitation, grateful for it but making a series of jokes about not wanting to third wheel as you ate. though eventually you could no longer stomach the polite conversation and you knew you needed to come clean, the longer you avoided it the more nervous you'd become.

“ingrid, maria. I need to tell you something.” you blurted out much more abruptly and awkwardly than you'd intended. the entire plan you'd spent the afternoon creating all gone out the window, as had your prepared speech.

her smile dropped at the use of her full name, attention now entirely yours to command as you glanced at ingrid beside her who nodded to you to continue, seemingly just as concerned.

“i’m not renewing my contract with barca.” your voice was barely above a whisper but your words fell on your sisters ears like an anchor. you flinched as her cutlery fell to her plate with a loud clatter and she shot to her feet.

“what the hell do you mean you’re not-“ she started with a scowl leaning across the table, ingrid firmly squeezing her leg and giving her a pointed look, nodding to where you sat across from them staring down at the floor, anxiously playing with your fingers as you awaited her oncoming wave of rage.

swallowing the bitter anger and frustration which was rapidly bubbling to the surface knowing that was not what you needed right now, mapi took a deep breath and slowly sat back down.

“hey, look at me.” the girl ordered as you nervously glanced up to meet her eyes which to your shock were glazed over with worry. “what do you need from me hermana?” she asked softly, her reaction catching you a little off guard.

“not to hate me.” was all you managed to breathe out as you crumbled and the tears you’d been fighting off began to well up in your eyes.

your sister quickly moved around the table to sit by your side as you collapsed into her awaiting arms, tears wetting her collarbone as she cradled your head tightly.

“no I could never ever hate you niñita, never. I promise.” the older girl assured softly, murmuring it over and over as she held you tightly as you tried to calm yourself.

not wanting to overstep ingrid quickly gathered your empty plates, moving to the kitchen to wash them up and giving the two of you a moment of privacy.

you pulled away from her and wiped your eyes with your shirt, a little embarrassed at your emotions as ingrid returned, handing you a few tissues. "come, we need to talk about this." your sister encouraged, nodding for you to all move to the sofa.

"so you are leaving barca." she sighed a little as you nodded after you'd all settled in. "to where?" she asked the same questions alexia had. "not another team." you started, the confused faces staring back at you also mirroring that of your ex lovers.

so with a shaky inhale, you repeated the same words you had to her.

"retiring?" with that your sister could hold her tongue no more, once again shooting up to her feet.

"are you injured?" "no." "do you still like football?" "yes." "have you been told you need to stop playing? forced into this by someone?" "no."

"mierda i have just named all the possible reasons for retiring!" the tattooed spaniard snapped, ignoring ingrid who tried to reason with her.

"not mine." you replied calmly, the two words catching your sister off guard as she faltered for a second and fell quiet, slowly taking her seat again and wordlessly waving for you to speak as ingrid moved closer in an attempt to comfort her.

"i am not happy anymore." you started simply, moving to cross your legs underneath you and turning your body a little more to look at the couple sat a few feet away whose faces softened at your words.

"si, i like football. no, i am not injured or being told i cannot play anymore. but i no longer love football, i do not have ambitions to win awards or trophies or tournaments. i cannot represent my country anymore, i cannot continue to pretend like i feel the same when everyone speaks about these things." you began to explain, feeling lighter with each word you got off your chest.

"i have always done what you have. you played football in the backyard, i played football in the backyard. you played for the junior national teams, i played for the junior national teams. you played for barca, i played for barca. you stood up for the way we were being treated, and i stood beside you." you recounted, the look on your sisters face not easy to decipher what she was thinking, though she remained quiet and allowed you to continue.

"but now, now i need to figure out what i want and what i need and what i love. barcelona does not feel like home anymore and it will always be so special to be but i need more." you sighed, rubbing your face with your hands and taking a pause to reset.

"i need to feel like i am giving more, doing more, like whatever i leave behind is worth something. i just want more from life." you sighed, struggling with your words as to not undermine anything or anyone.

"this has been the hardest decision i have ever made. all i know is football, all i am associated with is football, all i know i am good at is football and that is no longer good enough for me anymore." your voice broke slightly and you wavered, taking a deep breath.

"it hurts more than i can explain and i am terrified but i am also just so tired. i am tired of fighting with alexia, i am tired of feeling like i need to walk on eggshells around the two of you. i am tired of worrying about injuries or playing well or not playing well. so si, i will play the rest of of this season with barca and then i will retire, everything was made official today." you rambled on, stopping yourself before you could spiral any further and falling silent.

the couple shared a few looks as if speaking without words which made your stomach knot up again with nerves, anxious for what they would both have to say about it as they gave one another a small nod and turned back to you.

"okay." your sister started softly, a small frown creasing into your eyebrows. "you're not mad?" you asked, still apprehensive for her reaction. "no hermanita, how could i be mad at the cost of your happiness? i am disappointed that the fierce barca legacy of the león sisters is no more, but that is only on the pitch." she started with a smile.

"i am not mad but i am worried about you, why did you not come and speak to me about it? about any of this?" she asked, her hurt disguised in her voice but not in the glint of her eyes.

"actually after everything i can see why, and that is my fault." mapi quickly corrected, forcing a pained smile.

"i am so sorry for not being a better sister or making you feel like you could come to me about this and about your relationship with ale. i have blown up a big part of your life and i will never stand in the way of you trying to start a new one again." your sister promised sincerely as you nodded.

"if not barcelona anymore, where will you go?" ingrid finally spoke, sending you a kind smile as she grabbed her girlfriends hand. "i am going to volunteer with the united nations. they have a six month program that sends you around the world wherever aid or help is needed." you answered, both older girls across from you with wide eyes at your words.

"wow." mapi breathed out. "how did you-"

"alba helped me. she has a friend who heads the recruitment, got me in touch and put in a good word. i actually only heard back yesterday with an offer for a spot." you responded somewhat shyly, still trying to wrap your head around the opportunity.

you didn't have time to say another word, two bodies launching at you and wrapping you tightly in a hug as your sister kissed your cheek repeatedly mumbling about how proud she was of you.

"bueno bueno! thank you for the support but get off." you laughed, unable to even begin to describe the sense of relief at the weight which was melting off your shoulders finally having come clean, and it having gone a lot better than you worried.

"have you told mami? or the team? or your-" "si, mami knows. alba knows. alexia knows. the barca staff know. but i am not ready to tell the team just yet, por favor." you pleaded, both girls assuring they would not tell.

"so you spoke with alexia then?" ingrid asked cautiously, unsure if this was something you'd wish to speak about. "yes. we had an....honest conversation." you sighed, settling back into the sofa.

"the two of you..." mapi trailed off now, also with an air of caution not wanting to overstep. "no. i do not know what could be done to fix things now, the damage is done and it is there and it still hurts. but with some time apart, maybe we could become friends again." you forced a smile, trying to remain optimistic despite the dull thumping ache in your chest any time you thought about the blonde.

"okay hermana. are you still going to go to malta? pina mentioned alba convinced you to go, and we know alexia is also still going." your sister asked with a raised eyebrow, the two of them not going as norway had two games to play during the break which mapi planned to go and support ingrid at.

"yes, we still have the rest of the season to go and i do not want to have to keep arguing and avoiding her. i think after our talk we have a sort of, understanding." you winced slightly, knowing no matter if you wanted to go on the trip or not alba would be forcing you.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

part seven

i would like to lovingly remind you all before you implode that this is not yet the endddd, we still have at least one, maybe two, chapters left to go

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Perfect Life || CL16 {3}

Summary: Charles is beginning to see the cracks in your facade and it only leads to more questions than answers in his quest to get to know you. Warnings: angst, swearing, sarcasm, abusive parents, flashback to Jules WC: 2.1k

One || Two || Three || Four

Ten Years Ago The nurses greeted you by name as you walked into the ICU ward with a book in your hands and your school backpack slung over one shoulder. For the last six months you had visited your friend twice a week and learned the names of all the staff while you sat at his side. 

“I have the new, unreleased, Jack Reacher,” you said as you took your seat between the bed and the window. The only other sounds in the room were the quiet whoosh of the ventilator and the rhythmic beat of the heart monitor. “Father knows the Editor at Bantam Press.”

You dumped your bag on the floor and opened the novel. The action thriller wasn’t something you would choose yourself but Jules had liked the series so you read it aloud. The neurologists seemed to think it could help him and the psychiatrists seemed to think it could help you.

“Moving a guy as big as Keever wasn’t easy,” you began the story. Time slipped away as you turned each page and you were so engrossed in the words that you didn’t notice your phone vibrating in your bag. You were late to your piano lesson, but more importantly someone else was arriving for his weekly visit.

“What the hell are you doing here?” Charles snapped as he breezed into the room and crossed his arms. 

“Same as you, visiting,” you murmured as you packed your bag up, leaving the novel on the table that had a vase of fresh flowers. You touched Jules’ hand with a silent farewell and kept your eyes low as you made your escape. 

You were almost to the door when an arm blocked your way. “Don’t come back again,” Charles growled. 

Your fists clenched at your sides as you dared to lift your head and meet his glare. “He is my friend too.”

Charles rolled his eyes. “You’re just a stupid little girl. He avoids you because he finds you annoying.”

“You don’t know what you are talking about.”

“I know he wouldn’t want you here.”

You swallowed the lump in your throat and nodded because he was probably right. That was the last time you visited Jules, and the first time you truly hated Charles. 

“That was harsh,” Lorenzo stated as you passed by on your way out of the room. 

Charles waited for the door to close before he asked his eldest brother, “Were they friends?”

Lorenzo chewed his lip and shrugged. “They weren’t friends,” he admitted and Charles turned his back with a scoff as he made his way to Jules, missing the quiet confession tacked on to the end, “They were closer than that.” 

You had been so furious when you left the hospital that you smashed your fist into a wall in the car park where your driver was waiting. 

“Phew, that’s quite the punch you pack, little lady,” a stranger had chuckled between the drags he took on his cigarette. “With a bit of training you could do some serious damage.”

You looked at the blood running over your knuckles but you were numb to the pain. “I like damage,” you commented quietly. “Do you know any trainers?”

Present Day Charles drove along the scenic coastal road towards Saint Tropez rather than the faster highways. He lowered the windows and donned a pair of sunglasses as the breeze whipped his dark hair back. Everything about his ostentatious image screamed old money until he smiled and it was too carefree. Old money didn’t show such emotion, your mother said it was uncouth to feel anything except superiority. Those weren’t her exact words but it was the gist of the conversation.

“You frown too much,” he commented as he handed you his phone. 

“I hardly have anything to smile about.”

“For starters, we escaped that - whatever that was, because it certainly wasn’t charitable. And now you are in control of the music. I think that is enough for a little smile.”

You tossed his phone back on his lap and turned your attention back to the waves breaking against the rocks. “I don’t listen to music.”

“Everyone listens to music.” 

He fiddled with the stereo and the slow melodic beginning to Beethoven’s Moonlight Sonata filled the car. Each note sent echoes of pain shooting through your fingertips and you closed your hands as they began to shake. Your knuckles throbbed with the memory of sitting before your mother and reciting the classical greats you had been made to learn. You were constantly showcased to her friends, placed on a pedestal to flaunt skills that had no real purpose other than to illustrate the other families' mediocrities.

Until you made a mistake. 

You flinched as the allegretto movement began and your hands snapped close to your chest as you felt the piano lid come slamming down on them again. It was like falling in a dream and startling as you woke up. Charles was watching carefully as you found yourself back in the leather seat and not the velvet bench.

“Turn it off.”

He hit a button on his steering wheel and silence descended in the small space. “Want to talk about it?”

“No.” 

Charles thankfully let it go and concentrated on driving to Monaco. You didn’t even bother to argue with him when he passed around the outskirts of Nice without stopping, you had found a small distraction by making shapes out of the clouds. It was only when he slowed to drive through the signature winding street that passed the casino that you looked down at your chiffon gown and frowned. “I am overdressed, even for this place.”

“You can wear something of mine.”

“No thanks,” you said, quickly shutting down the offer with a shake of your head. You grabbed your phone from your clutch and sent a quick message to Arthur. “I have some spare clothes at your brother’s place, we can just pick them up.”

Charles’ brow lifted. “Why?”

“Because I don’t want to stay in this dress all afternoon?”

“No, why do you have clothes at Arthur’s?”

“For when I stay there, obviously. Do you think I stay in a hotel here?” You rolled your eyes. “No, wait, you probably thought ‘Daddy bought me a penthouse’.”

He had the good sense to look guilty but it also confirmed your suspicion. 

You knew the small city almost as well as Nice and found your bearings as he made his way to Arthur’s apartment complex. It wasn’t far from Charles’ but you had never been there, Arthur had just pointed it out on one of the many outings into the city. 

“You have a key too?” Charles asked as you unlocked Arthur’s door instead of knocking.

“You’re starting to sound a little jealous now.” The door swung open and Arthur waved as you shot past the sofa he was relaxing on and ducked into his bedroom to change into a pair of leggings and one of his old Prema shirts.

“Who’s jealous?” he asked as you flopped down beside him and used his thighs as a pillow. 

You draped a hand over your forehead and sighed dramatically. “Your brother is madly in love with me, but he can’t get over how close we are, Tur. There may be a duel at dawn, ready your pistols and kiss your mother in case it is the last time.”

“You really need a nap don’t you,” Arthur teased. His fingers carefully plucked the bobby pins from your hair and Charles watched on silently as the haunted look that had been in your eyes the entire ride faded away. “Dare I ask why you are here? You didn’t kidnap her did you?”

“I’d probably be floating facedown in the riviera if I tried that,” Charles replied with an indignant snort. “She voluntarily got into my car.”

“Ah, that’s progress, I suppose.”

“It was the lesser of two evils,” you corrected as you closed your eyes. The late night was beginning to catch up with you and a yawn cracked your jaw before a soft blanket fell over you. “Mm, thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” 

Your brain hadn’t realised Arthur’s hands were still busy and the voice came from the blanket box where Charles had stood. Rather than question the goodwill, it was easier to pretend he hadn’t been nice because it was starting to really confuse you. 

“Did your genius brother tell you his plan?” you asked as you shifted around until you were comfy and looked up at your best friend. 

“He may have mentioned it on the drive home last night,” Arthur said. “Honestly, it was all he talked about.”

“Was not.”

“Was too.” Arthur turned his attention back to you. “Are you actually considering it?”

You barked a laugh that was a big enough ‘no’ but followed it up with, “Absolutely not. It wouldn’t even work anyway.”

“Why not?” Charles asked, taking a seat in the armchair opposite.

“No offence, but what do you bring to the table? Outside of F1 your name doesn’t mean anything.”

Growing up in Monaco where one in three people were millionaires, Charles wasn’t blind to reality, he knew first hand how elitist the ‘old money’ families were. “So why marry Jules?” 

You heard the pain that one question held and sighed as you sat up, woefully abandoning the idea of sleep. Charles didn’t like how the question made him sound petulant, or that he was somehow a better choice than Jules was - he didn’t think that at all, he just couldn’t understand why the plan wouldn’t work.

“It wasn’t about Jules. You forget that while he raced under the French flag the Bianchi’s came from Milan. The Italian market is one Father wants to break into.” You got up and went to the kitchen, pouring yourself a glass of Prosecco from the fridge. It was a little flat after being open a few days and you swirled the drink around, watching the bubbles rise to the surface. “Father’s five year plan was for Jules to win a championship with Ferrari, cementing the name back into Italian households, and then train his new son-in-law to join the family business.” 

The silence was heavy but Charles eventually recovered from staring out the window deep in thought. “Did Jules know this?”

“He knew enough.”

“What does that even mean?”

“He knew he was important enough to blackmail my father, kind of ballsy if you ask me, but it worked. Jules threatened to quit racing if he revoked the funding for your driving academy.” You drank down the Prosecco in a few unladylike gulps before refilling it as the bitterness in your belly grew. “Must have been nice to have someone fight all your battles.”

“I’m trying to help you now, but you’re being stubborn,” Charles said as he crossed the room and took the bottle away. “I don’t understand why.”

“You don’t understand? Maybe it’s because you treated me like shit for years and I can’t trust you.”

“I thought Jules didn’t like you, I figured it had to be for a good reason.”

“No, you figured you could judge me without even trying to get to know me. That’s pretty fucking shitty, but you know what? I’ve come to expect it from everyone. The only person that’s ever treated me like a fucking human being is sitting right there.”

Charles followed the angry point of your finger to his brother and sighed. “I can’t change the past, okay, but I am trying to make up for it now. Please, just let me help you, it’s the least I can do - for you and for Jules. It’s just a job.”

You crossed your arms and tipped your chin back to look him in the eyes. “What makes you think I would even protect you? I could let you get mobbed and point them in the right direction.”

Charles smiled and you realised you were no longer impervious to the fact he was quite handsome but it was his words that shocked you more. “Because I believe you’re better than that.”

“That might be your biggest mistake.”

Charles held his hand out. “We will have to test it and see. Deal?”

You looked at Arthur and so much hope filled his face it was impossible to stomach the idea of watching it fall away. So, you shook Charles’ hand and swore you heard Jules’ laugh in the seagulls' cries. Yeah, he would probably be laughing, he always laughed when you made a mistake. 

“There’s no use crying, lapinette, might as well laugh and learn,” Jules would say.

You only wondered just how bad this latest lesson in the school of hard-knocks would be.

Part Four.

[saltylemontears]

getaway car || cl16

summary: nothing good ever starts in a getaway car. unless...

warnings: implied toxic relationship and infidelity, there's a makeout session lol

a/n: i wrote this in 20 minutes on a train. also, the relationship reader is already in is implied to be toxic, but nothing is explicitly mentioned!!

the big city is aglow, passing by as the car speeds on the highway, almost as if it was saying goodbye.

charles's warm hand travels from the clutch to your thigh, caressing it in a comforting manner.

but the truth is, you really don't need comfort. you're not sad. hell, you feel a strange sense of euphoria, heart beating faster than ever. you're free, free from him, forever.

you picture yourself, truly free, happy, carefree, with charles by your side.

and yeah, thinking this way about a complete stranger is odd, but the alcohol in your system has no intentions to let you critically think.

you roll down the car window, sticking your head out to stare at the city. the wind blows through your hair and you're sure the car is going way too fast.

he stops at a red light, turning to you and your eyes meet for the first time since you sat in the car. his big green eyes stare back at you, and you know it's a terrible idea, but you lean in anyway, brushing your lips against his in a fleeting kiss.

when you pull away, you grin and kiss him again, this time much more passionate, lips colliding, hunger spilling from your mouths and adrenaline flowing through your veins. your hands sneak their way into his hair and you tug, fully enjoying the whimper you got out of him.

his lips move to your neck, trailing kisses down the side, wet, teasing and so good, complete with little marks.

and surprisingly, you don't care if anyone sees those hickeys on your neck. hell, you'd shout it from the rooftops of the skyscrapers.

the car horn scares the both of you from making out and charles quickly turns back to driving. giggles fill the quiet space - your horniness just stopped traffic.

you look over at his face, the silhouette of his nose, then dropping down to his hand that's gripping the steering wheel tightly. suddenly, you wanna leave everything behind, just him and you.

"go faster," you whisper, and he does, speeding through the highway. it's incredible, you don't ever want to leave.

when you lean against his shoulder, you start to consider that maybe some good things do start in a getaway car.

[culturevulturette]

I’ve loved this song since I was a kid and heard it late one night on my transister radio.  

[roseyreveries]

Hunted

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Part Two <- click!

Summary: Hydra infiltrates SHIELD and takes control of Bucky again, setting the Winter Soldier on course to take out his target: you.

CW: Guns, Violence, Blood, Angst, not very movie accurate, the Avengers being weaker than usual for plot

Directory

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The bass from the radio thrummed in time with my heartbeat as I belted out the lyrics to the song blaring from the speakers. My sister, Maggie, laughed beside me, swaying in her seat, her off-key voice matching mine perfectly. We’d done this a hundred times before—road trips, late-night drives, blasting karaoke-worthy tunes that never failed to lift our spirits. Today was no different; it was just us, the open road, and the kind of freedom that only a highway can bring.

I glanced over at Maggie, her face scrunched up in exaggerated concentration as she hit the high note, and I couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re killing it!” I shouted over the music.

“Please, you’re the one auditioning for a Grammy!” she shot back, winking at me.

The world outside was a blur of cars, the sun dipping low in the sky, painting the horizon in streaks of orange and pink. I felt alive, invincible. But then, out of nowhere, everything changed.

It happened so fast. One moment we were carefree, and the next, I was slamming on the brakes. A figure stepped onto the road, right in front of our car—a man with long dark hair, clad in black, his presence commanding the space like he owned it. But it wasn’t just anyone. It was Bucky Barnes.

My heart seized in my chest. His eyes locked onto mine through the windshield, cold and unyielding. I barely had time to register the large gun in his hands before he aimed it directly at us. My breath caught in my throat, the world around me slowing to a terrifying crawl.

“Holy shit!” Maggie screamed, her hands flying to the dashboard as if she could somehow shield herself from what was about to happen.

The next second, a loud bang echoed, piercing through the chaos of the traffic. I watched, helpless, as a disk shot from the barrel of Bucky’s gun, hurtling straight at us. It slammed into the underside of the car with a deafening thud, and before I could even process what was happening, the world exploded.

The blast sent a shockwave through the car, and we were airborne. The car flipped violently, the screech of metal against asphalt and the shattering of glass filling my ears. My body lurched against the seatbelt, the force knocking the wind out of me as the car tumbled. Up became down, and down became up—everything spinning in a disorienting blur of sound and pain.

My vision flickered, the interior of the car now a shattered mess of broken glass, smoke, and twisted metal. I tried to scream, to reach for Maggie, but my voice was lost in the cacophony. The car finally came to a bone-jarring stop, landing upside down on the road.

For a moment, all I could hear was the ringing in my ears. I blinked, the sharp taste of blood in my mouth, my mind struggling to catch up. Everything hurt—my head, my arms, my chest. My vision was blurred, but I turned to my right, my heart hammering wildly.

“Maggie!” I croaked, the word barely a whisper. She was hanging upside down in her seat, her eyes closed, a small trickle of blood running down her forehead. I reached out, my fingers brushing against her arm, desperately trying to shake her awake.

My hands trembled as I reached out to check Maggie for injuries. I forced myself to focus, pushing through the blinding panic. I ran my hands along her arms, her legs, feeling for breaks or dislocations. Her pulse was strong, steady under my fingertips— a small comfort in the midst of the wreckage. I checked her pupils, watched her chest rise and fall with each shallow breath, all the while praying she would open her eyes and tell me this was all a bad dream.

I knew what to look for— what signs meant danger and what was just superficial. Years of training kicked in, the muscle memory of countless missions and drills guiding me through every step. I wasn’t just a regular sister panicking in the aftermath of a crash. I was more than that, had been for a long time now.

Maggie didn’t know the truth. No one did. To everyone else, I was just me— the sister who sang too loudly, who drove too fast, who lived a life that was seemingly normal. But behind closed doors, under the cover of night and secrecy, I was something else entirely.

I was a S.H.I.E.L.D. agent. Not just any agent, either. I’d climbed the ranks quicker than anyone expected, my skills and determination earning me a seat at the table alongside the Avengers themselves. I’d worked operations so classified, most people wouldn’t even believe they existed. I’d been trained by the best, learned to fight, to strategize, to survive. And now, all of that training, all of those missions, came flooding back in a rush.

Maggie’s injuries were minor—cuts, bruises, a gash on her forehead that looked worse than it was. She’d be okay, at least physically. The relief was so overwhelming, I almost cried. But there was no time for that. I needed to get us out of here before Bucky— or whoever the hell he was working for— made another move.

I glanced outside, taking in the chaos around us. Bucky was still there, his expression as unreadable as ever, but he wasn’t alone anymore. Other figures moved in the shadows, closing in on the wreckage. I cursed under my breath. This wasn’t just a rogue attack; it was a full-blown ambush. And we were smack in the middle of it.

I reached for the hidden compartment in the console, the one Maggie didn’t know about. My fingers brushed the cold metal of my concealed weapon— a sleek, high-tech piece courtesy of Tony Stark himself. I’d been armed and ready, as always, just in case. I hadn’t expected to need it on a karaoke drive with my sister, but that was the life I led— the life no one knew about.

I checked the safety, my eyes flicking to Maggie once more. She was still unconscious, but she’d be okay. I had to believe that. I had to keep her safe, no matter what.

I eased myself out of the wreckage, gun in hand, and moved with purpose. The agents in the shadows were getting closer, and I recognized the insignia on their uniforms. Hydra. Of course. Bucky was working with Hydra— or maybe he was brainwashed again. I didn’t have time to figure it out; all I knew was that we were in serious danger.

Bucky’s eyes met mine, and for a split second, something flickered there. Recognition? Regret? I couldn’t tell. It didn’t matter. Right now, he was my enemy, and I had a job to do.

“Stay back!” I shouted, aiming my gun at the nearest Hydra agent. They hesitated, their eyes flicking to Bucky for guidance. My heart pounded, adrenaline surging through my veins. I was outnumbered, outgunned, but I’d been in worse situations. I knew how to handle myself. I knew how to fight.

And I was going to fight like hell to get Maggie out of this alive.

“Bucky,” I called out, my voice steady despite the chaos around me. “I don’t know what you’re doing, but they’re not in charge of you anymore. You’re safe, Buck.”

He hesitated, his grip tightening on his gun. The seconds stretched on, an unbearable tension hanging in the air. I didn’t know if he’d listen, if he even could. But I had to try. For Maggie. For all the people who’d counted on me to keep them safe.

For the person I used to believe Bucky was.

His gaze shifted, something softening in his expression. I held my breath, praying for a miracle. But just as quickly as it came, it vanished, replaced by the cold, unfeeling mask he wore so well.

“Move,” he ordered the Hydra agents, his voice flat, emotionless. The moment was gone. He wasn’t Bucky Barnes, the hero. He was the Winter Soldier. And there was no reasoning with him.

I steeled myself, my grip on the gun firm. If Bucky was going to make me fight, then I would. There was no turning back now.

I stepped forward, adrenaline surging through my veins, and fired the first shot. The Hydra agents scattered, their movements synchronized like a well-oiled machine. They fanned out, ducking behind cars and debris, their weapons raised. I squeezed the trigger again, aiming for the nearest target. The bullet hit its mark, sending the agent sprawling to the ground. But there were too many of them, and I was just one person.

The highway erupted into chaos— bullets whizzed past, shattering the remnants of glass around me. I ducked low, using the twisted metal of our car as cover, my mind racing to formulate a plan. There was no backup coming; it was just me against a small army. But I’d faced worse odds, and I wasn’t about to go down without a fight.

I darted out from behind the car, my movements fluid and precise. I fired off two more shots, dropping another agent before spinning to take cover behind a cement barrier. My heart pounded in my chest, each beat a reminder that I was still alive, still fighting.

They kept coming, relentless and determined. I counted at least six, maybe more, their dark uniforms blending into the shadows of the wreckage. I fired again, hitting another in the shoulder, but the rest were closing in, tightening the circle around me. I moved quickly, pivoting and shooting, each motion a calculated effort to keep them at bay.

A bullet grazed my arm, the sharp sting slicing through the adrenaline. I hissed through clenched teeth, ignoring the pain. I had no time to bleed, no time to think. I fired again, but my gun clicked— empty. I ducked behind a nearby car door, my fingers fumbling for another clip, but I came up empty. I was out of ammo.

Shit.

I crouched behind the door, my breath coming in short, ragged bursts. My mind raced, calculating my next move. I could hear the Hydra agents regrouping, their footsteps growing louder, the sound of their weapons being loaded. I glanced down at my gun, flipping it open to confirm what I already knew— no bullets, no way out. My eyes darted around, searching for anything I could use, but the highway was a wasteland of broken cars and debris.

I was trapped.

Then, with a deafening crack, the door was ripped away, torn from its hinges like it was made of paper. I stumbled back, my eyes widening as Bucky stepped forward, his silhouette framed by the chaos beyond. He moved with a lethal grace, his metal arm still raised, the door now discarded at his feet.

I scrambled backward, my hands searching for anything to defend myself, but all I found were shards of glass and twisted metal. Bucky’s gaze was locked onto me, his expression unreadable, his footsteps deliberate and unhurried. He advanced, and I kept retreating, my back hitting the wreckage of another car.

Just as he reached for me, something red streaked through the air, smashing into Bucky with the force of a freight train. The impact sent him flying, his body hurtling across the highway before crashing into the side barrier with a bone-rattling thud. I blinked, stunned, my brain struggling to process what just happened.

I turned my head, and there he was— Iron Man, standing with his fist raised, his helmet gleaming under the dying light of the sun. The red metal glove that had just knocked Bucky out of the way hovered mid-air for a split second before it shot back to his arm, snapping into place with a hiss.

“Thought you only worked at night,” Tony quipped, his voice crackling through the suit’s speakers, though the concern was evident beneath the sarcasm. He didn’t waste a second, his repulsors flaring as he took off to engage the Hydra agents swarming the scene.

I barely had time to register Tony’s arrival before two more figures emerged from the chaos. Black Widow and Hawkeye moved like shadows, their motions fluid and deadly. Natasha’s guns blazed as she took down the agents closest to me, each shot precise and unerring. Clint loosed arrows at an impossible speed, his sharp eyes targeting every Hydra soldier who dared to step forward.

“Go!” Natasha shouted, nodding her head towards the car where Maggie still lay, her voice sharp and commanding. “We’ve got this!”

I snapped back into action, scrambling to my feet and sprinting towards Maggie. She was still unconscious, the faint rise and fall of her chest the only reassurance I needed to know she was still hanging on. I fumbled with her seatbelt, my hands slick with sweat, and pulled her free, cradling her limp form as gently as I could.

I scanned the road, spotting a bystander— a man in his thirties who looked more terrified than I felt. “Help her!” I yelled, thrusting Maggie into his arms. “Take her to the nearest hospital!” He nodded, wide-eyed but willing, and hurried away, cradling my sister as he dashed toward the edge of the highway where it was safer.

With Maggie safely out of immediate harm, I turned back, just in time to see Natasha sprinting towards me. She tossed something in my direction, and I caught it instinctively— two matte black handheld firearms, their sleek, familiar weight grounding me instantly. My usual weapons. The ones that had seen me through countless missions, each nick and scratch a testament to the fights I’d survived.

“Thanks, Nat,” I breathed, loading the guns with a practiced ease. “I owe you one.”

“Just another Tuesday,” she quipped, her eyes scanning the area for threats as we ducked behind a nearby car, taking cover from the barrage of bullets raining down from the Hydra agents still standing. Tony and Clint were keeping most of them busy, but there were still plenty to go around.

I fired off a few rounds, picking off agents as they attempted to advance. The familiar rhythm of combat settled over me, a strange comfort in the midst of the chaos. I turned to Natasha, my voice low but urgent. “What the hell happened? Why is Bucky like this again?”

Natasha grimaced, reloading her guns. “There was a breach at the tower. Hydra got in, and they took Bucky. Managed to wipe everything— reset him completely. He’s back to being the Winter Soldier.”

My stomach dropped, a cold pit forming as her words sank in. “And now he’s trying to kill me?”

“That’s the part we don’t get,” Natasha said, her tone edged with frustration. “The intel we managed to pull says you’re his primary target, but we don’t know why. Whatever programming they shoved into him, it’s all centered on you.”

My mind raced, trying to piece together a motive, a reason— anything that would explain why Hydra would send the Winter Soldier after me, of all people. I thought of every mission, every time I’d crossed paths with them, but nothing added up. I was high up in S.H.I.E.L.D., sure, but I was far from their most dangerous enemy. At least, I thought so.

“We’ll figure it out,” Natasha promised, her eyes meeting mine, fierce and determined. “But first, we get through this. And we stop Bucky before he does something we can’t undo.”

I nodded, steeling myself. I couldn’t afford to think about what might happen if we failed. I had to focus, had to keep fighting, because there was no other option. Not when Bucky was still out there, lost and controlled, a weapon aimed directly at me.

Natasha and I exchanged a glance, and then we moved as one—emerging from cover, weapons blazing. The air was thick with smoke and gunfire, the acrid smell of burning rubber stinging my nose. But I pushed forward, each step driven by the need to protect the people I cared about, to find a way to bring Bucky back from whatever hell he was trapped in.

The battle raged on around us, a whirlwind of gunfire, explosions, and shouting. Tony blasted through Hydra agents, his repulsors sending shockwaves that tore through their ranks. Clint’s arrows flew with pinpoint accuracy, each one taking down an enemy as he moved with effortless grace. Natasha was relentless, her strikes precise and lethal as she fought her way through the chaos.

But Bucky was the eye of the storm, moving with deadly efficiency. He tore through Hydra and Avengers alike, his metal arm swinging with brutal force. Every hit landed with bone-shattering precision, every movement calculated to maim or kill. The Winter Soldier wasn’t just in the fight—he was dominating it.

Tony launched a barrage of energy blasts at Bucky, but Bucky dodged with inhuman reflexes, closing the distance in a matter of seconds. He tackled Tony mid-air, dragging him down to the pavement with a force that cracked the asphalt. Tony hit the ground hard, the impact jarring, but he was up in an instant, firing another repulsor blast that sent Bucky stumbling back.

“Stay down, Tin Man!” Tony growled, taking to the air again, trying to put some distance between them. But Bucky was relentless. He lunged, his metal fist smashing into Tony’s side with a clang that echoed through the highway. Tony’s suit sparked, systems flickering, but he kept fighting, blasting at Bucky with everything he had.

Bucky ducked under Tony’s next attack, moving in close. His metal arm swung up, catching Tony square in the chest. Fingers of steel closed around the arc reactor, the very heart of Tony’s suit. With a vicious twist, Bucky ripped it out, crushing it in his grip. Sparks flew as Tony’s suit shut down, his systems failing with a flicker of dying lights. Tony fell, gasping as the suit collapsed around him, powerless and struggling to breathe.

Natasha rushed in, her movements a blur as she aimed for Bucky’s legs, trying to trip him up. She landed a hit, her boot connecting with the side of his knee, but Bucky barely staggered. He swung his arm, catching her mid-strike, and sent her flying into the wreckage of a nearby car. She hit hard, the impact knocking the wind out of her. Natasha tried to rise, her expression set in determination, but Bucky was already on her. He grabbed her by the throat, lifting her effortlessly before slamming her back down. Natasha gasped, struggling, her hands clawing at his arm, but she couldn’t break free.

Clint loosed an arrow, the projectile striking Bucky’s shoulder with a solid thud. Bucky snarled, releasing Natasha, who crumpled to the ground, clutching her side. Clint fired again, but Bucky deflected it with his metal arm, the arrow splintering against the steel. Bucky moved in, his fist a blur as he knocked Clint’s bow from his hands. Clint ducked under a punch, rolling to the side and grabbing another arrow, but Bucky was faster. His metal arm swung like a sledgehammer, catching Clint across the ribs and sending him crashing into the guardrail. Clint grunted in pain, struggling to get back up, but Bucky was already turning away, his focus shifting.

And then his eyes locked onto me.

A chill ran through me as Bucky turned, his gaze zeroing in like a predator who’d just spotted its prey. I was out of ammo, my guns discarded on the ground, my body aching from the earlier hits. My heart pounded in my chest, my breath coming in ragged gasps as I scrambled backward, my hands searching for anything I could use as a weapon. But all I found were shards of glass and twisted metal, nothing that could stop him.

Bucky advanced, his footsteps slow and deliberate, each one echoing like a drumbeat in my ears. I swung a metal pipe, but he caught it effortlessly, wrenching it from my hands and tossing it aside as if it weighed nothing. I stumbled back, my back hitting the wreckage of a car, nowhere left to run.

“Bucky, please,” I tried, my voice cracking.

He didn’t respond. He was right in front of me now, his expression blank, his eyes cold and empty. There was no sign of the man I knew— only the Winter Soldier, a weapon with one purpose: to eliminate his target.

I swung again, this time with a jagged piece of glass, but he deflected it easily, sending the shards clattering to the ground. His fist slammed into my side, pain exploding in my ribs. I gasped, falling to my knees as the world spun around me. I was exhausted, every part of me screaming to give up, to lie down and let it end.

But I couldn’t. Not with Tony down, Clint barely standing, and Natasha struggling to breathe. I couldn’t let this be the end. Not like this.

I pushed myself up, using the car behind me for support, and faced him. “I know damn well you’re in there somewhere. This is not you, Buck. You need to wake up. Please.”

For a second, Bucky’s arm hesitated, his gaze flickering. But it was gone as quickly as it came, replaced by the cold, unyielding stare of the Winter Soldier. He raised his metal arm, poised to strike, ready to finish what he started.

In that moment, everything seemed to slow. I could hear the faint sound of Tony struggling to get his suit back online, Clint’s pained breathing, Natasha’s quiet groan as she tried to push herself up. And Bucky, standing over me, ready to deliver the final blow.

Bucky’s metal arm was raised, ready to deliver the final blow. My heart pounded so violently I thought it might burst from my chest, every instinct screaming at me to survive, but I was cornered, and there was nowhere left to run. I stared up at him, my breath hitching in terror as I crumbled against the wreckage, tears streaming down my face. The Bucky I knew isn’t there anymore. This is it.

“Please, Bucky,” I sobbed, my voice breaking under the weight of my fear. “Please don’t do this. Please! I don’t want to die.”

My words were a desperate, frantic plea, spilling out in a torrent of terror as I shook uncontrollably. His expression was blank, his eyes cold and unfeeling as he loomed over me. I pressed myself further back against the twisted metal, trying to make myself as small as possible, but there was no escaping him. I could barely breathe through the sobs racking my chest, each breath coming in panicked gasps.

“Bucky, I’m begging you!” I cried, my voice cracking. “You don’t have to do this. Please… please, let me live!” The words were tumbling out of me, broken and raw, and I was shaking so hard I could barely get them out. “I’m not your enemy! Bucky, please!”

His arm didn’t falter, his face a mask of cold determination. I squeezed my eyes shut, my entire body wracked with sobs as I screamed, “Please, Bucky!” The second I saw his arm swing down, I looked the other way and screamed, “I love you! I love you!”

The words ripped out of me, raw and desperate, cutting through the chaos. I opened my eyes to see what had happened. Why wasn’t I hit? His arm was stopped, freezing mid-swing. His eyes widened, confusion flickering across his features as if he were suddenly woken from a trance. The soldier’s unyielding stare gave way to something else—something conflicted, like he was struggling to understand.

Bucky stumbled back, his hand flying to his head as if he were trying to claw the commands out of his mind. He groaned, a guttural sound of pain that echoed in my ears. I watched, tears still streaming down my face, as he fought with himself, his body convulsing with the effort to regain control. His breaths were ragged, each one a struggle against the chains of Hydra’s programming.

He let out a tortured scream, the sound filled with agony as he staggered back, his fingers digging into his scalp. His metal arm jerked erratically, twitching as if caught between following orders and breaking free. It was like watching someone try to tear themselves apart from the inside out. My heart ached at the sight, every second a painful reminder of how deeply he was trapped.

“Bucky…” I whispered, my voice trembling as I reached out a hand, but he didn’t hear me. He was lost in the battle within his mind, his body shaking violently as he continued to scream, his face contorted in a mask of pain and fury.

His feet shuffled back further, his back hitting a crumpled car as he slumped down, his hands clutching his head. He pounded his fist against the ground, each hit sending cracks through the pavement, each hit an attempt to silence the war inside his own head. I wanted to reach out, to help him, but I couldn’t move, my own body weakened from the fight and the fear.

As Bucky struggled, I heard the distant sound of heavy footsteps— the unmistakable thud of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents rushing in. My vision blurred, the adrenaline finally wearing off and leaving a dull, throbbing pain in its place. The world around me began to fade, the sounds of Bucky’s anguished cries and the agents shouting orders blending into a muffled haze.

I tried to keep my eyes open, to hold on just a little longer, but my strength was gone. My body slumped, the last of my energy spent as darkness crept in at the edges of my vision. The last thing I saw was Bucky, still fighting against the storm in his mind, and then everything went black.

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[dephoraowo]

The Wen Remnants were Wei Wuxian's Family

Wei Wuxian had multiple families before. He had his parents, but they died. He had the Jiangs, but they weren't really his family to begin with. He was never treated like a family member in the household, and he never belonged in the family either.

I feel like the real family that he had in his first life were the Wen remnants.

“…Who cares about the broad and bustling highway?” He humphed. “I prefer to follow the single-plank bridge into the darkness… Into! The! …Into the darkness?”

When he sang out the word “darkness,” he suddenly noticed that it wasn’t dark at all. The black summit he always returned to was vastly different tonight.

The area around the few little huts had been swept clean; even the weeds had been pulled. Several round, vibrantly red lanterns hung in the nearby woods, dangling from branches. The lanterns were all handmade. While they were simple and crude, they emitted a warm light that illuminated the pitch-black forest.

The fifty-odd people would usually have finished their meals and holed up in their run-down shacks by now, with the lights extinguished. But tonight, they were all gathered in the most spacious hut. That hut, which consisted of a rooftop held up by eight wooden stakes, could accommodate everyone. The small structure next to it was the “kitchen,” so this had become the dining hall.

He saved them when they were slowly being killed. He did it because it was the right thing to do. And he was the only one who willingly laid down his life for them.

Life may be cruel for them, but they made the most of it with each other.

Wei Wuxian, finding the sight strange, walked over with Wen Yuan under his arm. “Why is everyone here today? Not heading off to bed? It’s so bright with all those lanterns.”

Wen Qing walked out of the kitchen, carrying a plate. “The lanterns were hung for your sake, oh elder one. Let’s make more tomorrow and hang them on the mountain path. It’s not easy to find your way around in the dark. You’ll trip and break a bone one of these days.”

“Come now, even if I break a bone, don’t we have you?” Wei Wuxian said.

“I certainly don’t want to do extra work. It’s not like I get paid for it,” Wen Qing shot back. “If you do break a limb, don’t blame me for bruising you when I set it.”

...

“What, you guys haven’t eaten yet?” Wei Wuxian asked. “Nah. We were waiting for you,” Wen Qing answered.

“Why are you waiting for me? I already ate,” Wei Wuxian said.

As soon as he spoke, he realized he’d made a mistake. Sure enough, Wen Qing slammed a plate onto the table, and the red chili peppers sprinkled over the vegetables bounced with the impact.

“No wonder you didn’t buy anything. You spent everything at a restaurant, didn’t you?” Wen Qing raged. “I’ve only got so much money, and I gave it all to you. Look at how carefree you are with your spending!”

“No! I didn’t…” Wei Wuxian tried explaining himself.

Look at Wen Qing and Wei Wuxian's cute little banter 😆. To me, they are the most iconic duo. The way he trusts Wen Qing to help him out with his injuries is so natural! I bet they were really close to each other. Maybe even as close as siblings!

The other cultivators busied themselves with setting out chopsticks and pouring tea, saving the head seat for Wei Wuxian. Seeing them like this made him feel uncomfortable about accepting the gesture.

Over the past few months, he had been fully aware that the Wens were somewhat afraid of him. These people had heard of his vicious name and his insane deeds during the Sunshot Campaign. They had heard the widespread rumors of the savage, evil ways he took his anger out on people. With their own eyes, they had seen him order corpses to murder the living. In the beginning, old Granny Wen’s legs would shudder nonstop whenever she saw him, and Wen Yuan would hide behind her. It was many days before he dared to slowly approach him.

Although he saved the Wen remnants, they were still terrified of him XD. Guess Wei Wuxian really made a name for himself during the war. But Wei Wuxian didn't hold it against them. He was still kind and gentle towards them, and after some time, they started to warm up to him, to see him as their own, as their family.

But now, those same fifty pairs of eyes were watching him. Although there was still some fear in their gazes, it was the sort of fear attached to respect and reverence. Their eyes also carried a trace of cautiousness, and some intent to ingratiate themselves. However, it was by and large the same gratitude and goodwill that shone in the eyes of the Wen siblings. “Thank you for everything you’ve done, all this time,” Wen Qing said quietly.

They appreciate what Wei Wuxian had done for them and decided to host a feast for him TwT.

“You…are suddenly being nice to me. I’m kind of scared?” Wei Wuxian said.

Wen Qing’s knuckles seemed to briefly crack, and Wei Wuxian immediately shut up. However, she continued her quiet speech.

LOL 🤣🤣🤣. Wen Qing just wants to keep the somber atmosphere and Wei Wuxian can't help but tease her.

“…They’ve always wanted to have a meal with you, and to thank you. But you’re always busy running around or locking yourself up in the Demon-Quelling Cave for days and telling everyone you’re not to be disturbed. They were afraid they would distract you from your work or bother you. They thought you didn’t like to mingle with people and that you didn’t want to talk to them, so they didn’t want to pester you with any attempts at conversation. When A-Ning woke up today, Si-shu said we had to make you sit down for a feast, no matter what… So just sit down, even if you stuffed yourself to bursting earlier today. It’s fine even if you don’t eat. Just sit and chat, have a drink, and that’ll be enough.”

Wei Wuxian was struck silent. Then his eyes lit up. “Drink? There’s booze up here?”

The elder Wens had been watching them nervously, but as soon as they heard him say that, one immediately responded.

“Yeah, yeah. There’s drink.” He passed Wei Wuxian several tightly sealed jugs that had been sitting on the table. “It’s fruit wine. Made from wild fruits picked on the mountain. It’s got some real body to it!”

“Si-shu also loves to drink,” Wen Ning said from where he was crouching by the table. “He knows how to make wine and made those specially for tonight’s dinner. He tried for many days.”

Because he now spoke so slowly, one word at a time, he did not stutter. Si-shu gave an abashed smile but continued to nervously stare at Wei Wuxian.

“Is that so?” Wei Wuxian said. “Then I gotta give it a try!”

He sat down at the table, and Si-shu immediately opened a sealed jug and passed it to him with both hands. Wei Wuxian sniffed it and smiled.

“It does have a pretty nice body!”

The others sat down along with him. After hearing his praise, smiles split their faces as if they had been greatly commended, and they dug in with their chopsticks.

🥹🥹🥹. Such a heartwarming family dinner. I wonder if this is Wei Wuxian's first time having such a dinner. He certainly didn't enjoy the meal whenever a certain Madame was around.

For the very first time, Wei Wuxian paid no attention to the wine’s flavor.

He thought to himself, Follow the path into the darkness…huh?

It wasn’t all that dark.

Suddenly, he felt refreshed and alive.

This act of kindness by the Wens might not seem much to us. But it meant so much to Wei Wuxian. It showed him that even though the road to righteousness is dark, there's always a tiny beam of light shining through. It showed him that there's always hope in the darkest times. And that this time, he's not alone in it anymore. He's got his new family, and that is what's most important.

[ahdraftingco]

Oneshot: Trouble

Pairing: Dark!Joel Miller x Innocent!Reader

AO3 Crosspost: https://archiveofourown.org/works/44157645

Summary: Ellie's gone. She ran away a while ago, after she discovered Joel's lie. It was a lie he had to make for his own sake because he couldn't handle losing her but still, he lost her. Now, he walks the wasteland alone, searching for purpose…and that's when he stumbles onto you. A bright, young woman who had gotten through the worst of it without losing her innocence to a world gone mad. If only you knew what was in store for you now that Joel has found a new person to latch onto…

Word Count: 8.2k+

A/N: As always, please read through ALL the warnings before proceeding: porn with plot, dead dove: do not eat (this story is not for the faint of heart so don't say i didn't warn ya), borderline non-con, dark!joel miller, loss of virginity, dom/sub undertones, age gap, use of the word "daddy"/"baby girl", bondage, forced orgasms, gunplay, praise kink, somnophilia, size difference, genuine fear/peril, death threats, cum play, rough sex, sexual coercion, squirting, breeding kink (unprotected piv, possible pregnancy/pregnancy talk), angst, mentions of violence, degradation, references to death

This fic will contain spoilers to TLOU Part One, so if you haven't played the game, please be aware that I will be referencing canon events. Hope you enjoy the sinister Joel I've made up and yes, I did based the physical description off Pedro Pascal's portrayal of Joel ~ ♡

It's been months since Ellie left Joel. He had gone out to look for supplies, since she had been sick. It wasn't until he got back and saw that she had taken up everything she could carry that he realized it had all been an act to let his guard down.

He had thought they were past what had happened at the hospital, since it's been almost five years, but the truth is…he knew what he had done was unforgivable. She was the cure. She wanted to die for the cause. She knew what she had to do but he was the one who wasn't ready to let her go.

This is the price he will pay for it.

It breaks Joel down more and more every day that passes as he scavenges the east coast, hoping he'll find clues of Ellie's whereabouts somewhere. Though, he taught her well, which meant he was almost certain she'd be hard to find.

If she's smart, which he knows she is, Ellie would've made it to the north before the winter began. That way, there's no chance of Joel ever catching up to her in the snow.

With a heavy sigh, Joel makes his trek up the state highway, weaving through abandoned cars. He'll be in New York soon. There once was a station there, but it quickly grew overcrowded and fell soon after.

Not enough food for people to eat, not enough protection for people to survive.

The infected would be roaming in the city, but Joel knew to avoid the densely populated areas. He didn't want trouble.

And yet, trouble always finds him.

Trouble had a name this time. Your name, though he didn't know it just yet.

Instead, as he watches you from a distance, Joel calls you baby girl in his mind, seeing how much younger you were than him. It was obvious you were older than Ellie though. You were an adult, a young one, but an adult all the same. It makes him wonder how you ended up here all alone.

You're humming to yourself, as if the thought of a threat nearby didn't phase you. It's a song he has heard before. Edge of Seventeen by Stevie Nicks. He can almost hear the guitar riff, but it wasn't anything he could play.

However, at this moment, he wished he could.

Seeing you happily whispering the lyrics to yourself as you take down your laundry fills Joel with a kind of desire that taints his soul. It's dark and twisted, the way he wants to bottle up your joy and keep it all for himself.

How could you be so carefree in a world gone mad? It's as if no one has ever hurt you before.

Maybe…you didn't even know the infected existed.

That's impossible, but it looks like you're completely self-sufficient. You have a lake house and he can see the fishing equipment. You also have a garden with rotating crops that are growing well despite the incoming winter.

Who taught you to live life like this?

Peaceful, alone, without a care.

Joel is almost…disappointed. He'd imagine if anyone else had stumbled upon you, you'd be taken easily. You were like the easiest prey for a hungry predator, since you were clueless to the danger you could be in.

It makes Joel want to protect you…but it also makes him want to own you. There's an insatiable need to show you how much you need him to keep you safe, from people just like him.

So, that's exactly what he's going to do. Joel will make you his. He will weave himself into your life until you can't possibly live without him anymore.

That way, you'd never leave him like Ellie did…

❅❅❅❅❅

Today's catch went swimmingly, as it always does. You reeled in enough to have extra to dry into tasty jerky. Winter is approaching and you start to see your breath in the air, knowing that a storm is brewing. You'll have to start chopping some more firewood to store in the basement in case it's an extra cold winter. The temperature has been dropping every passing year, while the summers have gotten hotter.

You're thankful you won't have to think about summer preparations right now. Having to deal with those forest fires took up so much of your time. Winter is destructive as well, but at least it requires you to stay in instead of slave away all day.

Another winter alone, though. You let out a sigh at the thought. How long has it been since everyone you loved passed away?

You're tired of burying people…

Last month, you had to clean up the house a few miles down the lake. You hated having to do it, but your parents taught you well. The moment someone died, you needed to put them out of their misery or they'd fester and become worse creatures than the resurrected undead.

So, you put a bullet in their head and dug a grave for them. Then, you would spend hours rummaging through their house for any supplies before giving it a good thorough cleaning. It was your way of laying them to rest.

You'll miss that man though. Neither of you exchanged names, but you would trade fish for some of his pepper plants. Sometimes, he'd have canned goods for you that he had made himself. You still have some in your basement now. That'll help for the winter.

All these thoughts help you get through deboning your catch. You light up your wood fire stove so you can make a serving of stew and start the dehydrating process. It isn't until everything is in the pot that you register the rustling outside.

Is that the wind or…no, it can't be.

No one ever comes around these parts. It's so hidden by the trees that only an experienced person would think someone lives out here. That's sort of why your parents bought this house. It was secluded in the best kind of way, which aided a lot when everything went to shit. You were born here, raised here and will likely die here.

However, you weren't expecting that day to come so soon. Whoever is out there…they won't hurt you, will they? Your nerves heighten as you walk towards your door, debating if you should grab your gun.

You don't, because the person knocks.

It's a gentle knock, just three light taps. You calm down a little at that. You figure if it was a malicious person, they'd just break down your door. You haven't ever encountered a malicious person before, since you try not to believe everyone is bad. The people you know have all been kind, despite everything.

You hope this person will be the same.

So, you open your door and…

"Hello there." The older man at your doorstep says in his southern accent. "I was just passing through and I noticed you had a fire going. I don't mean to bother, but would it be alright for me to spend the night here, away from the cold?"

You look the man up and down. He doesn't seem like a threat, though he does have a rifle on his back and a pistol tucked at his belt. He's wearing a brown jacket with a flannel underneath along with several other layers that look like they're getting soaked through from the light snow that's starting already. He has a patchy beard with some grays in it along with soft brown hair that matches his eyes.

The man doesn't look intimidating, besides the weapons he's carrying.

So, you do what your parents had always done when people stumbled upon your little house and tell him, "you can stay the night if you agree to bury your weapons somewhere outside. There's a shovel out back. Choose any spot away from my garden, please."

"I will happily take that offer, thank you." His voice is smooth and gentle, so you ease up a little as you watch him leave to go fulfill your request.

The man returns later with just his bag and as a show of faith, he empties it at the doorstep so you can see what he has in it. You notice how few supplies he has, so you sift through your cabinets for some spare canned goods.

"You can have these." You bring them to him. "I've got plenty."

"You're very kind." He gives you a brief smile before taking the cans from you. "Are you always this welcoming to strangers?"

"I wouldn't call you a stranger. You're simply a traveler passing through. Nothing strange about that in our world."

You quickly leave after you say that to give him a change of clothes, since his are soaked and the spare in his bag doesn't look very warm.

"Would you like to use my bath?" You ask, pointing over at the bathroom down the hall. "I haven't heated any water, so it'll be a minute, but you can take a nice, warm bath if you'd like."

"That sounds wonderful." He seems pleased with your offer. "You're a very good girl, treating me with such hospitality."

"We all deserve some normalcy." You leave him with those words so you can go start the fire for the bath water.

It takes around half an hour to boil enough water in intervals, since your stove is quite small and you can only carry so much water at a time. Though, the man, who lets you know that his name is Joel, helps with that, lugging the pot of water back and forth for you until the tub is filled. You tell him to take his time and that dinner will be ready whenever he's done.

When Joel finishes his bath, he meets you in the kitchen and you pour him a bowl of stew, which you invite him to eat by the fire. You've already eaten your portion so you opt to spend time organizing stock since the storm is coming in stronger than you anticipated. You haven't harvested your winter vegetables yet and you should probably do that now before they get buried.

"Something on your mind?" That southern accent sounds close now and you look up to see Joel standing beside you, empty bowl in his hand. "Thanks for the stew, it was delicious."

You smile, taking it from him so you can quickly wipe it clean and set it aside. Then, you answer his question with a light sigh, "I didn't expect the snow to start falling so quickly. I need to go out and salvage what I can from my garden before I'm snowed in."

"Can I help with that?" Joel offers and you shake your head.

"I can't ask you to do that. You just bathed, plus you're my guest."

"I can always bathe again. You shouldn't be out there alone right now. Let me help." His voice has this tinge of leadership in it that makes you want to follow him, so you eventually agree.

"Alright. In exchange, you can have some of the harvest." You make him a deal.

"Can I ask for something else?" Joel catches you by surprise with that. "Would it be okay if I stayed here until the storm ended?"

"Oh…" He's right. If the storm has started already, he'd be stranded out there if you kicked him out tomorrow.

But, is it really smart to spend an entire storm with a man you've just met?

You can't let him trek through the storm though, so you tell him, "if you help me with some repairs around the house, then you can stay as long as you'd like."

"I'd like that." His smile makes your heart skip a beat.

The rest of the evening is spent shoveling snow and pulling out as many vegetables as you and Joel can carry back and forth to the house before the storm gets significantly worse. You're both soaked head to toe and you're freezing once you both get back into the house. The fire isn't going to warm you up, so you'll definitely need a bath. But, you don't want Joel to get sick, so you offer to have him bathe first, but he declines, since you need to too.

"One of us is going to get sick waiting to bathe." You tell him as you start boiling the water for the bath.

"Then why don't we bathe together?"

Your ears must have been deceiving you and you turn to Joel, who is peeling off his soaked outer layer. He doesn't seem phased at all by what he just said but you're flustered.

"H-how would that work?" You're suddenly feeling warm all over, despite your shivering.

"It'll be like sharing a hot tub." He says with a chuckle. "Just keep your underwear on. I can keep my shirt on too, if you're more comfortable that way."

Now you're embarrassed for a whole other reason. Why did you just assume he meant getting into the bath with him naked? There's no way he'd ask that of you and you feel bad that you even thought such a thing.

"That would work. You don't have to keep your shirt on, but I think I will." You're too shy to be that bare in front of him, but keeping your shirt and underwear on is fine. He doesn't say anything else about it as you both start prepping the bath once again.

When it's ready, you realize there's another problem with this scenario. It's not all that big of a bath. How would you both fit?

"You'll just have to sit between my legs." Joel tells you while he strips. "I'll get in first and guide you into a comfortable position."

You let him take the lead, though you turn away when he pulls off his shirt and don't turn back until you hear him get into the bath. Then, you strip as quickly as you can, leaving yourself in just your shirt and underwear. Joel puts his hand out and you take it, letting him help you in. He has you sitting between his legs, with your back against his chest, and…it's oddly nice.

The bath water is very warm and your shirt rises a little since there's air under it, so you try your best to smooth it out, though that doesn't help much.

"Do you want to take it off?" Joel asks you, his warm breath tickling the back of your ear.

"I…" You would but… "I'm not wearing anything underneath."

You aren't the biggest fan of bras. They're only good when you're exercising or doing some heavy lifting and don't want your breasts to get in the way. So, you don't wear them regularly unless you feel the need to.

"I won't look." He rests his chin on your head. "I'll keep my eyes up so you can get comfy."

That would be nice. It's odd how easy things are around Joel because you feel like you can trust him to do as he says, so you opt to pull off your shirt, tossing it aside. It hits the floor, the wet sound echoing through the room. You adjust yourself so that your breasts are submerged beneath the water and when you tilt your head up, Joel has his lifted to the ceiling, not stealing any glances at you.

Though, it wasn't his eyes you should've been worried about. You hadn't noticed where his hands were resting until you felt one of them slide up to cup your breast and the other slips down into your underwear. You're about to say something but then Joel rolls his thumb over your nipple and you can't stop the light moan that leaves your lips at the sudden sensation.

"Does that feel good, baby girl?" He whispers right into your ear with such sultry affection. "Do you want daddy to keep touching you like this?"

Before you can reply, Joel presses a finger against your entrance and forces his way into you, making you gasp. Your toes curl when his finger does, filling you up so much out of nowhere. It's nothing like when you touch yourself and in combination with his other hand teasing your breasts, you can't hold in the soft whimpers from how good it feels.

You need to tell him to stop, but then he thrusts another finger inside of you and you cry out from how much he's stretching you out. You've never been this full before.

"You're so tight." That word lingers in the air and you're getting dizzy from his seductive tone. "Has no one ever touched you before?"

You shake your head, not knowing why you're able to answer him but not able to tell him to stop…

"Are you telling me this is all mine?" He pushes up against a spot inside of you with his fingers that makes your whole body shiver in reaction. "You're sucking me in, baby girl. I'm jealous of my own fingers."

There's so many questions you want to ask him, like why he's doing this to you and why it feels good even though you shouldn't want a random man you just met to touch you, but none of those questions can be asked when every breath you take is stolen by a moan or whimper.

Something's building inside of you, that tension you've only felt on occasion when you've been bored and masturbated. However, this is even more intense than those times, because you're not the one setting the pace.

Joel is aggressive with his touch, fingering you at a pace you wouldn't be able to. Then, every now and then, he spreads them, reminding you of how big his fingers are as they stretch you out.

You're on the cusp of your orgasm and that scares you.

Why are you about to cum from this?

Why aren't you stopping him!

"Don't hold it in." He urges you to let go. "Cum for your daddy."

You're not my—you can't seem to finish your own thoughts because he's forcing your orgasm onto you, his fingers ruthlessly grinding against that spot inside of you that makes you cum hard. You're thankful you're in the bath right now because you swore, you squirted for the first time. You've never came that much before, tears streaming down your eyes from the intensity of it.

The pleasure sears every inch of your skin, making it hotter than before and the steam from the bath isn't helping your mind calm down. You're getting lost in that daze and it's not ending.

Especially not when Joel keeps going and he adds another finger, spreading you wide open. You're gasping for air from how filled you feel and he must not like that because he takes his other hand and shoves his fingers into your mouth. You gag on them, not expecting to have his fingers invade your mouth, but he doesn't care that you feel that way.

Instead, he goes, "be a good girl and enjoy yourself."

You wonder how you're supposed to enjoy yourself when your mouth is as full as your pussy is but soon enough, you understand. Every moan you want to make is forced back down your throat by his fingers and it's hard to breathe like this but that just causes your body to tense up more around his fingers. They're hitting you so deep inside that you're going to cum again all too quickly.

You try to tell him to stop but your words come out all gurgled up from the saliva pooling up in your mouth since his fingers are playing with your tongue. You're practically drooling and you try to swallow, but that means you have to suck on his fingers to do so, which only riles him up more.

"That's good practice, baby girl." He encourages you to keep doing that to prepare yourself for something else. "I can't wait to bury my cock in this pretty little mouth and your tight wet pussy."

You're on the verge of tears again and you don't know if it's out of fear or arousal as you get closer and closer to your next orgasm. You don't want his cock anywhere near you but you realize then that he's been pressing his hard cock up against your back this whole time. If you thought his fingers filled you up, you were certain his cock would break you.

You start to panic, trying to shove his arm away from you so he can stop fingering you but that only angers him. So, Joel retaliates by pulling his fingers out of your mouth and wrapping his hand around your throat, squeezing it hard.

"Don't make me kill you." He threatens and you go completely still. "I don't want to, but if you keep misbehaving, I will."

"Please…" You sob out of pure fear. "Don't hurt me."

"I would never want to hurt you. You're my precious girl, so don't make me do anything I don't want to, okay?" He lightens his hold on your neck then and you inhale as much air as you can, trying to find your composure. "You're going to cum for me again and then I'm going to take you to bed. Understood?"

You don't want to say it but he'll kill you if you don't so you nod and tell him, "I understand."

"Address me correctly when you're talking to me." His fingers press into your neck, as a little warning.

You swallow your nerves then go, "I understand, daddy."

"Good girl. Daddy likes it when you listen." He gives you a soft kiss on the cheek, changing his tone all too easily. "Now, let me spoil my baby girl."

You brace yourself as his fingers curl their way back inside of you, going much more gently this time. Strangely, it's not enough to get you close. His pace is too slow, too soft, and you're trembling from how much you want him to be rougher with you.

"Say what you want." It's like he can read your thoughts. "Tell me and I'll do it for you."

You shouldn't say anything but your body is craving that feeling too much, so you give in and say, "more, please. I want more."

"Do you want me to go faster?" He asks as he does exactly that and you nod profusely. He suddenly slows though, so you know what you have to do.

"Yes, daddy, please go faster." You say what he wants to hear and he ramps up the speed again, giving you what you need. "Please don't stop, I'm so close…"

"I want to see it." Joel growls in your ear before you hear a pop and the plug in the tub is no longer in place. The water suddenly drains out rapidly and you stiffen at the cold air hitting your warm skin. "You better cum a lot for me."

You don't know what he means until he starts to move his fingers side by side inside of you and you squirt uncontrollably, screaming from how forceful he is at drawing your orgasm out of you. You can't think straight because you can't stop cumming, every orgasm gushing out of you against your will.

"Stop!" You shout because it's too much, you're too sensitive now and you're going to pass out. "I keep cumming, I keep–"

"That's good." He slowly corrupts you. "You want to keep cumming. You want to drown in the pleasure only I can give you. Enjoy it, baby girl."

And you do.

You hate how much you end up enjoying it, bathing in such bliss. It consumes you completely…and you faint somewhere along the way. You've never felt so good before. Your body can't handle it and you pass out from the high…

❅❅❅❅❅

Joel dries your hair for you while you're unconscious. He likes how peaceful you look, having fallen asleep to the orgasms he gave you. He wants you to look like this everyday and he'll make sure it happens.

A sweet girl like you deserves to be treated well.

Maybe that's why he can't resist touching you in your sleep. Joel watches as your chest begins to rise and fall more and more with every gentle stroke of his fingers. You're getting so wet for him now. He wonders what you're dreaming of and if he's in it.

He'd like to be. He wants you to only think of him. He's the only one that you need. He's the only one that matters. No one else will take you from him.

Joel refuses to make the same mistake twice. He loved Ellie like a daughter, raising her to be a strong woman. A woman strong enough to leave him in the dust because of a lie he made.

So, he has to be more careful with you. You're malleable, he's certain of that. You'll need some persuading, but you'll listen to him. First, out of fear, but eventually, out of love.

All he needs to do is tie you to him the only way he knows will work…by making you fall for him.

❅❅❅❅❅

It isn't until you wake that you realize your body is still heated from all the orgasms. You're aching from the waist down and you wonder why…until you see Joel between your legs, his tongue dragging up and down your pussy like he's starved for your taste.

How long has he been…you can't even formulate the sentence because he flicks your clit with his tongue and you squirt just a little from how overstimulated you are. A whimper leaves your lips because of it that draws Joel's attention to you and he smiles, happy to see you awake.

"How did you sleep?" His voice is so eerily calm…

You're unsure of how to answer that, so you ask back, "did you sleep?"

He nods. "I slept great, holding you in my arms."

"How long have I been asleep?" You're confused…

"A little over two days."

Your eyes widen at his words. Have you really been passed out for that long?

"Why are you down there?" If you've been asleep, why is he touching you?

"I needed to make sure whenever you were awake that you'd be nice and ready for me." He teases your entrance with three of his fingers before slipping each one inside of you slowly.

You brace yourself, expecting for the sudden stretch to hurt but…it doesn't. His fingers feel thick inside of you, but it's not anything you can't handle.

What did he do to you while you were asleep…

"You're almost ready for me, baby girl." His thumb presses lightly on your clit when he says that, sending shivers through you. "I've opened you up as best I could."

"Please, Joel…" You plead to him. "I don't want this."

"Your body says otherwise." He tells you as he curls his fingers and you nearly cum just from that. "See, you want this. Why are you running from it?"

"You're not giving me a choice." He's throwing himself at you and you're unable to stop him.

"I did give you a choice." Your breath catches in your throat when you hear the safety of your pistol flick off and Joel presses the barrel against your bare chest, right where your heart is. You only notice then that you're completely naked. "Either I kill you, or you enjoy my touch. I had assumed you'd chosen the latter, but if I'm wrong…"

His finger hovers over the trigger and you shake your head profusely, not wanting to die like this, not when his fingers are still teasing your insides. It's unbearable, the weight of the gun on your chest while his fingertips drag along that spot inside of you that makes your toes curl.

So, you succumb to the scenario you've found yourself in, "you're not wrong. I want this. I'll enjoy myself. I promise."

"Then, cum." He commands, keeping the gun steady on your chest. "Show me you're being honest."

You bite your lip and choke back your own dignity as you grind your hips against his hand, thrusting his fingers inside of you the way you need them to. You gasp when he starts to follow your rhythm, pushing you closer to the edge. It's a great distraction, because you barely notice the way he's trailing the pistol up your chest, but you're well aware of it when it brushes against your lips, forcing you to part them open.

Before you can beg him not to, Joel rests the barrel of the pistol in your mouth, the cold metal coating every one of your taste buds. You gag a little when he drags it against your tongue, but you can't focus on it while his fingers are inside of you. Tears start to stream from your eyes out of sheer terror and the most warped and frightening smile curves on Joel's face the moment he sees you.

That's when he undoes the safety of the pistol yet again and rests his finger on the trigger, his voice more menacing than ever as he goes, "cum for me right now or I'll blow your brains out, baby girl."

Every muscle in your body tightens at the threat and that's all it takes for the tension in your body to explode. You can't tell if you're screaming or moaning as your orgasm ripples through you violently, locking up every sense with nothing but pleasure. You can't feel, you can't see, you can't think.

All you can do is cum because that's what he wants from you.

Relief washes over you when Joel pulls the gun out of your mouth and tucks it away behind his back. His fingers release you from their hold and an empty feeling is tainting your mind. You've been so full for so long that it feels…wrong to be hollow.

How much has he corrupted you? How long is he going to stay until you're exactly what he needs you to be?

His baby girl…

You need to get out of here. You need to run. You need to fight Joel for your life back because you can't be his.

And yet, you can't find it in yourself to shove him away.

Not when he's whispering so softly to you, "good girl, that must've felt great. Let me make you feel even better now."

It isn't until you feel the tip of his cock press against your pussy that you snap back to the reality of it all. You're going to have your first time right now and he's going to fuck you raw.

The last bit of rationality courses through you as you plead, "please, don't do this. I don't have any condoms, I don't want to–"

"It's okay, darlin'." His southern accent sends shivers down your spine. "This is what you were meant for. This is what your body craves. Just let it happen and I'll take care of you."

You claw at his chest the moment he starts to force his way inside of you, his cock stretching you out more than his fingers did. You've never felt this kind of pressure before as he opens you up with every thrust. He doesn't like that you're trying to fight him, so the next time you shove at him, he smacks you right across the face. You gasp at the feeling and he pushes more of himself inside your swollen pussy then, smiling.

"You're so tight and yet you're taking every inch of me." Joel suddenly grabs you by your hair, pulling you forward so you can stare at the way his cock is slowly disappearing inside of you. "Almost there, just a bit more."

"Let me go." You cry out, wanting him to take his hand out of your hair. "Please, it hurts."

"Grab onto the headboard and I will." He makes you a deal and you listen, wrapping your hands around the metal.

His hand leaves your hair, letting your head drop back onto your pillow, and you relax just a bit. It doesn't last though, not when he pulls out a piece of fabric from his pocket and binds your wrists.

"Now, hold on tight, baby girl." His hands rest at your hips now, gripping your flesh. "I wouldn't want you to hurt yourself."

You don't understand what he means until he pulls his cock out of you and rams it back inside, hilting all of a sudden. He's too deep, too big and all too much for you.

You try to say something but he raises his hand at you before you can, instructing, "if you want to speak, you better address me correctly or I will have to teach you a lesson."

You swallow at his threat, your throat going dry. Goosebumps rise on your skin and you're scared to say anything but you want him to be gentle. He'll break you if he keeps being this rough.

So, you stuff your pride away and beg, "please go slowly, daddy."

His smile softens then, liking how you've listened, and he rewards you by rolling his hips, letting you get used to him being inside of you, grinding himself back and forth against every spot that makes your pussy tingle.

It's starting to feel good and that's frightening because you're biting back your whimpers. You can't enjoy this. It's wrong. He's taking you by force and yet your body is desperate enough to meet him halfway, wanting more.

"Does my baby girl enjoy being fucked?" Joel adjusts a bit so that he can thrust upwards into you, hitting that spot that makes you see stars. "Tell me you do."

You keep your mouth shut, not wanting to say a word, and he doesn't like that at all. So, when you're right at the cusp of your orgasm, he pulls out of you, leaving you struggling against your restraints.

"If you want it, say it." He starts to rub his hard cock against your pussy, teasing your sensitive clit with the tip of it. It's torture because it's not enough to get you there.

You need more. You need him inside of you.

Joel takes his time to torment you, dipping into you just a bit before pulling out, dropping his cock over and over again on your pussy, rubbing circles around your clit.

Eventually, you can't handle the denial anymore so you cave and go, "please fuck me. I want to cum."

"Say it again." He wants you to embarrass yourself further and your skin burns from it.

"I want to cum. Please fuck me. I need you, daddy." You add on, hoping that's enough.

It is, because the moment he thrusts inside of you, you cum. You cum all over his cock and he rewards you by fucking you harder, making your orgasm even more intense. You're gasping for air because it doesn't seem to stop. You're throbbing inside and every thrust sends such waves of pleasure through you.

"You're milking my cock so well." He praises you. "Someone's desperate for my cum."

Your eyes widen when you realize he must be close from the way he's pumping into you and you panic, "please cum outside, don't cum in me."

"How am I supposed to cum outside when you're not letting me go?" He tries to pull out but your pussy is gripping onto him too tightly.

"No, don't, please." You can't get pregnant. You can't have a baby with a man you've just met. You can't…but he won't let you decide otherwise.

"You'll feel so much better once you're all filled up." Joel reassures you in the worst way possible. "Soon, you'll beg for it."

There's no way you would. Why would you ever want such a thing?

"Enjoy it." He says sweetly to you, looking at you with such affection. "We won't be able to fuck much when you're pregnant, so it's best to make every time count."

You want to ask why he wants you of all people, a random girl he met in the middle of the woods in the winter, but you're certain he won't have an answer. Perhaps this was all just bad timing and even worse luck.

It doesn't feel like much at first, when he finishes inside of you. It's hot and it spills out of you when he pulls away. Joel takes his time, pushing as much cum as he can back inside of you. You hate the orgasms you have from that simple action.

It isn't until the second time that it feels…primal. You can't explain it, but when he's fucking you like a feral animal, you find yourself leaning into it. Your body isn't in tune with your mind anymore. It's not listening to your pleas because it knows it feels good to be taken by him. He never hurts you unless you do something he doesn't like, which is rare. He only ever wants you to feel pleasure.

Days go by of this, of just…constant breeding. You will sleep, then wake up, fuck, have breakfast, fuck, have lunch, fuck, do house chores then fuck in the shower afterwards, then eat dinner which always ends with you bend over the dining table because you're the meal he's actually hungry for. This cycle repeats until you get your period.

The disappointment on Joel's face stings. It's like you failed him. You couldn't give him what he wanted. You don't like the feeling…but a tiny voice in your head reminds you that you shouldn't want to please him anyways.

During your period, Joel teaches you how to suck his cock, since he can't fuck you. As a reward for learning, he caters to you, helping you with your cramps, rubbing your belly when it aches, cuddling you like you're the love of his life. It's…jarring, to say the least. You'll go from him fucking your face to him caressing your back and whispering sweet words to you.

Run. That tiny voice yells into the abyss that is your mind right now. Run far away from here.

You want to listen but…where would you go? You grew up here. You don't know anywhere else. This is your home and he's the intruder.

An intruder who's making himself at home.

"Does your stomach still hurt?" Joel asks because you've tensed up against him, your thoughts influencing your nerves.

"A little." You lean into his chest, not because you want to, but because he's warm and the winter has been cold. "I'll be okay."

"You'll always be okay, baby girl." He presses a soft kiss on your forehead, taking in a long breath before saying, "I'll keep you safe."

Safe from who? You wonder, because you aren't safe from him…

❅❅❅❅❅

Another month passes and you're late. You counted the days, mainly because Joel made you, and you're late. You've never been late before, which can only mean…

"We won't know for sure, but we can find out." You suggest. "There's a convenience store a few miles up. There's no food there, but there's plenty of pregnancy tests. I remember seeing them."

You chew on the inside of your cheek, hoping he'll take the bait. Please say yes.

You need to get him away from your house. You need to kill him but you can't do it here. You need to do it somewhere he isn't familiar with.

A place where you know a gun is hidden.

"Better to be sure." Joel agrees to the trip. "But you're coming with me."

"Okay." You knew you'd have to. "I'd like to walk with you. It's a nice hike, now that the snow has melted."

The rest of the day is spent preparing for the day trip. When it's finally time to sleep, you're surprised to feel Joel's cock harden behind you as he spoons you. He rubs himself against you and you hate how your body reacts to it, leaning into the feeling.

"Just to be sure." He whispers to you and you know what he means. He doesn't have to say much else.

You feel him nudge you until you're on your hands and knees and he's situated behind you, pulling down your pajama pants. Joel lines his cock up at your entrance and in one single motion, he fills you to the very brim. You can't hold in your moan, not when his body is pressing down onto you, engulfing you completely as he starts to pound into you.

"How does it feel to be mine, my sweet baby girl?" He asks, his hips meeting your ass perfectly.

"So good." You don't lie because you know it'll be the last time you do this with him. "Please don't stop, daddy."

"Never." He says, grabbing you by your hair so that he can kiss the back of your head. "I wouldn't dream of letting you go."

With his hand still in your hair, Joel continues to fuck you from behind, tugging you back to meet him. His lips on yours are sloppy, but you kiss him back, feeling connected with him on all levels. Your body moves against his in perfect harmony and you drown in the moment

It isn't until he whispers the words "I love you" that your heart pinches just a bit, remembering the reality. You're going to kill him tomorrow, this man who loves you in a sick and twisted way.

"Fill me up." You whisper back, giving him something else, since you can't give him your love. "I need you, Joel."

That's enough for him to finish inside of you, the heat spilling into you in waves. His cock pulses inside of you for a few moments before he pulls out and lays back beside you.

You go back to the way you were laying before, and he spoons you to sleep. You wonder what it'll feel like to sleep alone, now that you've slept with someone for this long.

You're going to miss it…maybe even him too…

❅❅❅❅❅

Now that the snow has thawed, the ground is much less muddy. You still had to wear your boots, which aren't uncomfortable but they're harder to run in. You don't think you'll need to run but…you want to stay prepared.

Joel tells you a bit more about himself on the walk to the convenience store. You're unsure if you want to know more about the man you're about to kill, but you can't refuse him, so you listen.

You don't expect him to tell you about Sarah…but now everything makes sense. Perhaps, he's been waiting for a chance to make things right. To raise a child who won't end up dying in his arms and leaving him forever.

You clutch your stomach when he's not looking, scared of your own mind. Scared that the tiny voice in your head is now whispering guilty thoughts…

You can't. It's not reasonable to have a child in a world like this. Especially not with a man like him.

You say that, but Joel has warped you in a different way. You won't lie and say you won't miss him when he's gone. It's hard not to miss someone you've spent the last two months getting to know in more intimate ways than two normal strangers would.

As a war breaks out in your mind, you and Joel get to the convenience store. The front glass is shattered, but it's always been like that. Looters at the very beginning of it all broke it, which is why there's moss going on the shards that were left behind. That's what your parents told you.

You miss them more and more with each passing day. They were well-prepared to have you, knowing they've set up a little oasis in the middle of disaster.

You can't have this child with Joel. You're ill-prepared to be a mother. You're unsure if Joel would even be a good father, even if he claims that's all he wants to be.

Would a good father taint someone else's daughter the way he has tainted you?

You hold back your sigh as you and Joel walk over the glass to get into the store. It's a small store, so it's not difficult to find what you're looking for. You wonder if these will even work, since they probably have an expiration date, but you just have to know.

For your own sake, more than Joel's.

Once you've packed a fair amount of pregnancy tests into your bag, you tell Joel that you've stashed some canned goods behind the counter in the off chance you might get stuck out and about, and you wanted to check if they were still there. It's not a lie, but you stashed a gun there too.

So, you go to the floorboard you hid everything under and pull it open and—

The sound of a gun's safety flicking off freezes you in your tracks. You swallow, hard.

Fuck, did Joel figure it out? You're too frightened to look up, scared that you'll be staring into the barrel of a gun.

But then, a new voice appears and she goes, "step away from her, Joel."

You glance up then and your eyes meet the girl's for a second. She's young, maybe barely eighteen, and yet she wields the gun you had hidden in the floorboards like she's used to handling them. That thought should worry you, but you're more worried about how she knows Joel.

Did he…do something to her too?

"Ellie, please." Joel pleads, his hands up. "Don't take her away from me."

"I know what you did to her." Ellie has her finger on the trigger, ready to shoot him. "I saw what she put in her bag."

"She's pregnant. We're going to be a family." He tries to reason with her. "Come back with us. We have a home. You'll have a little brother or sister soon. Wouldn't that be nice?"

"You're sick, Joel." She gestures for you to come over to her and even though Joel's eyes pierce into yours to stop you, you still make the trek over to her. Once you're securely behind her, she continues her harsh words to Joel, "you don't know what it means to be family. Family wouldn't do this, wouldn't do the things you've done."

"I can change. I can do better. I'm sorry."

You've never seen Joel so weak before. The once scary man that held you captive is now cowering before this girl.

"Sorry won't bring them back." Ellie tells him and you wonder what she means by that. "So, don't come looking for us. I'm taking her and I'm leaving now."

"Please, don't take her." He begs, his voice cracking as he goes, "I love her."

You open your mouth to say something, but Ellie stops you. Maybe she knows what you're about to say, or maybe she just doesn't want you to say it back to him. Not that you would…right?

"This isn't love, Joel." She tells him for you. "Whatever this is…it sure as fuck isn't love. I'm sorry. You did this to yourself."

The moment those words leave her mouth, she shoots Joel. You cover your ears at the sudden sound as it echoes through the quiet.

You hear Joel scream and you realize then that Ellie didn't shoot him in the head. She shot him in the leg, so he couldn't catch up to you two.

"We have to go, now." She grabs your hand and you both start to run.

Run, that voice comes back in your mind, run and don't look back.

❅❅❅❅❅

You and Ellie take a break once you're a good distance away from the convenience store. You give her some of your water, since it looks like she's low on supplies. She asks you about what happened and…you tell her. Not in full detail, but enough.

"That fucker." She seems angry at Joel for more than just what he did to you, but you won't pry about what exactly.

"Who is he to you?" You ask Ellie, wanting to know that instead.

"He's trouble. The kind of trouble I need the strength to take care of before he hurts anyone else…" She says, the anger leaving her voice as a sadness seeps in, "but I'm not strong enough yet. I couldn't kill him…but I will one day."

You can tell she doesn't want to, and you understand why. You might be the only one out there who understands her because you feel the same way.

There's no way Joel isn't looking for you two.

So, your journey with Ellie begins. You're both on the run from Joel, but also finding the will to hunt him too. All while wondering if he's imprinting himself onto you the way he wanted to.

You press your hand on your stomach and chills run through you.

You should've known Joel was trouble the moment he walked through your front door…

A/N: I've always wanted to write a villain!joel since I feel like it actually fits his character a lot, if he was given the right set of circumstances. I also am a big fan of the "I need to kill him before he kills me" trope, but with a twist! The addition of Ellie in this part makes me really happy and gets my mind rolling. The latter half of this one-shot is very plot-heavy, which is new for me but I kind of like it? It really builds up to a possible sequel! So, if you're interested in a sequel, please let me know! This really does have the potential to be a whole series ♡

[thoughtsafterdark]

Shoeboxes and Eggshells

When I was younger, carefree and naive.

Watching the raindrops that whipped and bent on the windows on the highway.

And the rolling storm grey clouds gather above

Listening to the radio and nodding off to sleep, eyelids heavy with sand and head foggy with warmth

I thought it was ridiculous how much of music is made up of love songs

Used to think it was impossible for them all to be genuine, how can one person love so much and so many times, falling into all the same traps.

But then I grew into a hopeless romantic.

I fall in love with fragments and shards of people, keep them in an old shoebox amongst pretty rocks from the beach and candy wrappers from fairs long gone. I nip and peck at them all, like a crow catching the glint of something shiny out of the corner of too-intelligent eyes. I collect half smiles and smirks, the curve of a thigh or hip, the swish of a bohemian white skirt on a beach in early June. Pearly laughter, bright and pink, nimble fingers and chocolate eyes. They pass through me like wisps, shadows in the night that leave only whispers in their wake. Imprints that weave and meld together like threads, like brands on my soul.

In August evenings, when the sun is low and the heat of the day evaporates into a balmy night, I like to play Badminton with my sister the way I used to play with him. And as I lunge for points, I listen to the angry, dark music I used to listen to with her, so I could prove that I was just as broken. Now I don't have to pretend anymore. I carry the pain of them all with me everywhere I go. With each one I could swear I lose a piece of myself. Theseus' ship, continuously replenished. But every time I am amazed at the tears I still have left to cry.

Now, sitting here with you in this newfound cocoon of solace I think I finally understand

The trouble with falling out of love and becoming someone else is there's no guarantee the new version of me won't fall for the new version of you.

We're no longer the bright eyed and bushy tailed fools we were two years ago. I'm angrier, rougher around the edges. I care now with a vicious edge that wasn't there before. The sort of kindness born not of softness but pressurised rage.

Your walk is slower, hunched over with responsibility and disappointment.

Yesterday you laid your head against the wall, throat bobbing and you told me you felt like a failed imposter, like you'll never be good enough. I feel for you but will you hate me if I say. That the ghost of the girl I was is glad that carefree boy who killed her is dead now too.

We left their graves in the dirt behind us as we outgrew those bodies.

We're growing up now, and that all feels so silly. A distant dream of who I used to be.

It's different now, but it still scares me. Because I can feel myself falling for you all over again. But it's warmer. Softer. Steadier. Based on an easiness that wasn't there.

I won't do anything this time I know. I can't bear to lose you again. But I'm scared of you leaving me so maybe I'll up and run

I'll just keep these embers stoked and warm, close to my heart to give my strength. Before another day rolls around where we're strangers again

Its easy now. We slot well together. Like well-worn cogs in the machine on this newfound eggshell thin camaraderie. Dependable, reliable. I know it won't last I miss you. I fucking hate you

How does it feel

To exist on so many levels at once

How is it that

You've mastered the superposition state

You're there and you aren't

Always and never

A text away but

Filled with hollow monosyllables and periods

Yes I am a romantic but you are my greatest mistake

 Never before have I fallen into the mouth of the same shark, and convinced myself the bite was that of someone who cared

I would chew off my own right arm to know what you were thinking when you look at me. Do you feel the same pit of squirming worms deep inside, the mix of pain and agony and bittersweet longing of what could have been. It's funny what tricks oxytocin plays on us. Do you know how it feels to cry over something that was never real. Do you wonder why we aren't friends anymore. Or am I so insignificant a fly the thought has never crossed your mind. Just someone you used to talk to, but don’t anymore

I'm sorry the mortifying ordeal of my love was so embarrassing for you, I'm sorry I lied. I wasn't who you thought I was. But in my defence, neither were you. The boy I loved lived only in my dreams. I built him myself, out of desperation and hunger. He was what I needed at the time. I'm sorry he had your face. You were just there, and I was lonely and afraid.