#care as much anymore and i want to move on to the 8000 new ideas i already have | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

brycelahelas · 5 years ago

Text

take care

rating: mature

book: open heart

summary: God. God. It was a bad idea going here. You want nothing more than to head to the bathroom and crawl out the window and just fucking run wherever the hell your legs take you. You want to run until the ache in your legs makes you forget all of your memories tainted with Rafael, until your lungs constrict to the point that you forget what it felt like to have Rafael’s lips on yours.

Maybe Landry had it right. Maybe emotions do hold us back. And maybe that’s your fatal flaw: you feel and care and love too much to the point that it bites you in the ass. It always did, in the end.

word count: 8000+

notes: THIS TOOK SO LONG FOR NO REASON....literally took me four weeks to complete bc i cannot finish anything in a timely manner. but i hope you all enjoy this 8k+ piece. i love to see interaction so pls reblog and like if you enjoyed! and let me know what you think of it! you can also read this on ao3 here.

dedicated to my lover my wife my shawty my life miss jade... happy birthday!!!

tagging: @zadiechoi @zigtheeortega @senatorraines @bigtoughswordboy (if you would like to be added to the list let me know!)

Of all the emotions you could be feeling right now, you find that, at the core of it all, you feel nothing.

This feeling isn’t indifference. Because if it were, you wouldn’t have this ache reverberating all over your body. And although you have a heightened sense of the blood coursing through your veins, of your heart pulsating against your chest, you bite your tongue, shake Sora’s hand, and say nothing when she kisses Rafael goodbye.

When she leaves, you look him in the eyes, sharply inhaling as you struggle to say, “You two are cute together.”

“You think so?” he answers, careful with his words as he eyes Bryce warily. When Bryce gets the message and leaves to greet Ethan, Rafael looks at you once again, eyes almost apologetic. You’re suddenly aware of the distance between you two and the tension that has settled in the air. As he moves closer towards you, you instinctively step forward, but upon realizing what you’re doing, you move back, away from the arms that you know so well, away from the man who once loved you.

He notices this and frowns, only slightly. “Listen,” he starts, voice so low you could mistake it for silence. “About us...I want you to know I still—”

You raise your hand, cutting him off. With your eyes squeezed shut, you take slow breaths and hope that the tears would go away if you didn’t look at him anymore. “Don’t worry, Raf,” you say softly, defeat resound in your voice. “You don’t owe me an explanation. I get it. She’s your childhood sweetheart.”

Just as you turn away from him to go into the hospital, you hear him say, tone just above a whisper, “...Okay.”

The defeat in his voice sounds exactly as it did in yours.

“Are you okay?”

You’ve never heard Esme sound so panicked. As you snap out of your daze, you find that you’ve been standing next to a patient, hands shaking as you hold a needle next to a protruding vein. Thankfully, the patient’s eyes are squeezed shut, looking away in hopes that you would insert their IV quickly.

You insert it in one fluid movement, leaving the plastic tube in and pulling the needle out. Once you let the nurses take over, you grab your clipboard and walk out of the room with Esme trailing close behind you.

“How long was I just standing there?” you finally say once you both enter the elevator and you press the button for the ICU. The silence is palpable, as it usually is with Esme, but her eyes betray a sense of concern.

“Too long,” she answers. “Look, really, are you okay? You’ve been out of it all day.”

“I’m fine,” you say, although visibly the opposite. Esme, being Esme, doesn’t push further.

Silent devastation.

Nothing comes close to accurately describing how you feel about this Rafael situation, but that’s what you settle on. There are no painkillers strong enough to dull the ache in your heart, no way of relieving you from the reality that Rafael isn’t yours anymore. But you live with it, day by day, and it’s apparently starting to show.

After shift change, Bryce bumps into you in the atrium and announces that it’s a Donahue’s night. “My treat,” he tells you, smiling wide as he wraps an arm around your shoulders. “You need it. And you can’t say no because it’s doctor’s orders.”

That elicits a small chuckle from you. “And if I do end up saying no?”

“Then you’ll have to sign an AMA form. But, as you know, it’s not recommended to go against medical advice.”

“Well, I guess I have no choice,” you tell him, grinning softly. “To Donahue’s it is.��

He flashes you that thousand kilowatt smile again and steers you out of Edenbrook and into Donahue’s.

On Fridays, Reggie always makes sure to decorate Donahue’s in a specific theme. Tonight is Samba Night, according to the flyer by the door. Mainly Edenbrook employees crowd Donahue’s, but the vibe is jovial as always, with more five dollar margaritas scattered around the place than usual. You spot your friends in their usual booth, joined by a few of the interns, and they wave you over excitedly.

“Over here!” Sienna calls out as she spots you and Bryce at the entrance. She’s sidled up next to Danny but makes space for you to sit next to her.

As you settle into your seat, all your friends suddenly blast you with questions about your day. How was your shift? Did you have any codes? Did you hear about the rapid response in ICU? Did you hear about the code grey in ED? It’s a dizzying array of questions, and something feels off about it, as if they’re saying so many things at once to startle you. You don’t realize what it is they’re doing until you follow Sienna’s line of sight.

When Rafael walks in with his arm around Sora’s waist, you fall incredibly still. Beside you, Jackie scoffs.

“What is he thinking bringing her here? God, I’m gonna need another shot.”

“I’m right there with you,” you say, suddenly feeling a heaviness in your chest. You turn sharply towards Bryce. “Bryce? Your treat, right?”

Bryce looks at you worriedly but stands right away. “On it,” he says and heads towards the bar.

God. God. It was a bad idea going here. You want nothing more than to head to the bathroom and crawl out the window and just fucking run wherever the hell your legs take you. You want to run until the ache in your legs makes you forget all of your memories tainted with Rafael, until your lungs constrict to the point that you forget what it felt like to have Rafael’s lips on yours.

Either way, you couldn’t bring yourself to care anymore. Rafael made his choice, and it wasn't you. Fucking deal with it. Huffing, you grab Elijah’s margarita (much to his dismay) and down it all in a few sips. You needed all the alcohol you can get in your system in order to survive the inevitable interaction between you and Sora and Rafael. Dr. Yoeun, Elijah’s intern, watches with wide eyes as you slam the completely empty glass on the table.

It’s Sora who spots you first. Eyes bright and lips pulled into a smile, she basically drags Rafael to your table in order to greet you. You feel yourself tense up as the both of them get to your table, but you feel a hand slip into yours and squeeze. It’s a presence that feels reassuring and familiar. As you look down and realize it’s Sienna’s hand, you can’t help but smile at the interaction and squeeze her hand back.

“Hey! Long time no see!” Sora says, diving into your arms and wrapping you in a tight hug. With your free hand, you give her a soft pat on the back, and she pulls away, grinning. “This is such a nice bar! I’ve never been here before.”

Rafael pipes up from next to her, sheepishly rubbing the back of his neck. “I just got off a shift and wanted to show her Donahue’s. Hope that’s okay.”

“Come on, Raf, you know we don’t own Donahue’s!” Elijah jokes. His tone offsets the tension at the table, which helps Rafael ease up a bit. “You’re welcome here anytime. You don’t need our permission.”

Rafael nods, looking away from the table. “Well,” he finally says, exhaling a bated breath, “I hope you guys have a good one.” Sora quickly waves goodbye, and the two head off to another part of the bar, most likely in an effort to avoid you.

When Bryce returns to the table with the drinks, you immediately down your whole shot. And another. Then another. It’s probably a good thing that you’re off tomorrow because tonight you’re just going to drink to your heart’s content and cease to think.

The thing is, you can’t bring yourself to hate Sora. She always leaves nice comments on your Instagram posts, and she always makes it a point to greet you whenever you run into each other at Donahue’s. There isn’t anything to hate besides the fact that she’s your ex’s new girlfriend. (Or is it old girlfriend? New-old girlfriend? Rekindled flame?)

Well, whatever she is to Rafael, she’s nice to you. And she’s wonderful to him, which is all you can ask for, really. No matter how desperately you want to hate her, you can’t. She’s given you no reason to.

There you go again. Feeling and caring and loving too much. It really will be the death of you.

You don’t see Rafael for a few months after that. At this point, it isn’t him avoiding you; it’s just that your jobs don’t make you cross paths, as is expected. Whatever Rafael-sized ache you had in your heart is gone. It’s just the thought of what could have been that bothers you occasionally.

And you do think of him, occasionally. It’s hard not to. You’re always wondering how he’s doing—if he’s eating enough, if he’s sleeping well, if he’s staying safe. Rafael’s always been such a selfless person, someone who lives by the philosophy that tomorrow isn’t guaranteed. That worries you. For someone who is always taking care of other people, he doesn’t take quite good care of himself, and one day that’s going to bite him in the ass.

Well, in any case, it’s out of your hands now. At least, that’s what you tell yourself. You have your own patients to deal with and a grizzled senior resident to report to.

A low, menacing voice snaps you out of your thoughts. “You.”

Speak of the devil and he shall appear. When you turn around, you see Zaid beckoning you towards him. “Emergency Department. Now.”

As you fall into step with Zaid, rushing towards the Emergency Department, you ask, “What’s the situation down there? Do we have to run triage?”

“Not necessarily,” he answers. “It’s just high census there right now. Lots of virus scares, among other things. The ED physicians are getting overwhelmed so they enlisted our help.”

You nod silently. You were never too fond of the Emergency Department as an intern. Too much panic and frenzy down there with not enough space to think. You worked better on floors like the ICU or Medical Surgical, where you can take time to actually speak to the patients and work on a diagnosis. At the very least, the ED presented a challenge to you that could potentially be useful in building your diagnostician skills.

When you step through the doors of the ED, you see what Zaid means about high census. All the rooms, including the overflow beds, are filled with people, and every room presents a different case. While you definitely wanted to start in the rooms whose patients likely had an infectious disease, your eyes are drawn to an overflow patient who is wearing a very familiar paramedic uniform. As you draw closer to the patient, your walk quickly turns into a sprint when your suspicions about who it is are confirmed.

“Rafael, what happened?” you ask him, panicked. He’s clutching his side, face grimacing in pain. When you inspect him closer, you see that blood has seeped into his blue uniform.

A nurse approaches the two of you with the suture cart and stops right beside you. “The patient got stabbed during a call, but it’s only a surface wound. No pulmonary or great vessel trauma. A suture is needed though.”

The second she finishes, a call light goes off in ED Room 1, and you notice that she eyes it with a sigh. “ED Room 1 is your patient?” you ask her.

“Yes,” she answers. “Sweet old lady. She’s needed water for the past five minutes, but I haven’t been able to get her because of the craziness going on.”

“Go,” you tell her, waving her off. “I’ll take care of this suture for you.”

The nurse thanks you and walks off, leaving you and Rafael alone. After gathering your supplies for the suture, you sit next to him, aseptically clean the area, and get to work. Neither of you say anything until you rub numbing cream around the stab wound. It’s then that he lets out a hiss.

“You need to stop getting yourself into these situations, Raf,” you murmur softly as you finish the preparations for the suture. When you move to change your gloves, you hear a soft, restrained laugh coming from him.

“You, of all people, should know that I can’t do that,” he mumbles, shutting his eyes as you proceed to prepare the needle. “It’s my job to protect people—to rescue people. I’ll keep getting into these situations if it means I save someone’s life.”

“And if it costs your own?”

He answers without hesitation. “Then so be it.”

“We’re stitching in three...two...one...” You enter the needle into his skin, but he doesn’t react due to the numbing cream effectively desensitizing the area. As you stitch his wound together, you say, “Well, for now, let’s make sure you keep yourself safe, okay? You can’t exactly help people if your body is banged up like this.”

He laughs, this time a bit louder, that sound of familiarity returning to his voice. “It sounds like someone’s worried about me.”

Without missing a beat, you answer softly, “You know I am. I always am.”

It’s the first time you’re really seeing him in months, and he is beautiful. His hair has grown a little longer now, with curly brown wisps covering the nape of his neck. But besides that, he looks the exact same. When your eyes meet, it’s difficult for you to look away, but you find that it’s the same for him

“How...how have you been?” he asks you, snapping out of a daze. He gets up with significant effort but manages to sit upright to look at you properly. “It’s been a few months.”

“Yeah,” you tell him. “You know I’m always busy. No new stories to tell.”

He smiles that goddamn smile that made you fall for him all those months ago. It’s just as soft as you remember. But as you admire him, that small voice in your head just repeats over and over that he didn’t choose you, he chose Sora, and suddenly you’re the first look away.

As you put away the items you used to stitch Rafael up, your mouth seems to run faster than your brain, and you blurt out, “How’s Sora?”

Rafael looks confused. And rightfully so. You don’t even know why you asked that question when you weren’t prepared to hear the answer.

“She’s fine,” he answers, mindlessly. “At least, last time I saw her she was.”

“...last time you saw her?”

“Yeah. We’ve been broken up for a while now.”

“Broken up,” you echo. The words sound so bittersweet in your mouth. “What happened?”

He looks you straight in the eyes, thoughtfully regarding you for a second. “A certain doctor was always on my mind,” he answers nonchalantly. “And it wasn’t fair for Sora to stay in a relationship with me if I obviously liked someone else.”

Wait. “Wait. Hold on. What?” you sputter, watching him as he attempts to stand up.

“Huh, good job on these stitches,” he says, admiring your handiwork. “They’ll heal up nicely.”

“Rafael,” you say exasperatedly, but he holds his hand up to silence you.

“Considering the amount of patients you have, it might not be the best time to have this conversation,” he answers you, a mischievous grin on his face. “Let’s expand on this during dinner tonight.”

Dinner? With him? Tonight? Holy fuck, everything is moving so fast that you’re overwhelmed. Before he leaves, he pauses next to your shell shocked body and leans in, placing a soft kiss on your cheek. “It’s great to see you again.”

And he leaves. Just like that. As you watch him walk out of the Emergency Department and link up with his other paramedic buddies, you stand still in the spot he left you, trying to figure out what the hell just happened. In your periphery, Zaid’s shrill whistle alerts you to his presence, and he marches his way towards you in his usual Zaid way—overzealously angry.

“What the hell are you doing just standing there? Get that suture cart out of the way and get in ED 5!”

It isn’t until Zaid basically bulldozes you into a patient’s room that you remember you still have a job to do. As he grits his teeth at you, he grunts, “Why are you so smiley all of a sudden?”

You don’t answer, instead logging into the computer to pull up the patient’s chart. As Zaid sighs heavily and gets on with his initial assessment of the patient, you see your reflection in the screen and find that you can’t bite back your smile, no matter how hard you try.

Whenever you’re tangled in Rafael’s arms, you wrap your hand around his curls and just memorize. You memorize the way he feels so that there’s never a chance you’ll forget. The way his hair feels under your fingertips, the musky notes of his scent, the corded muscles on his back—everything, anything, you touch and feel and memorize.

After all, you lost him once, and once was enough for you to learn your lesson. Now, every time Rafael finds himself in your arms, you take in his warmth, his curls, his lips, his eyes, his touch. Clinging onto him as if he’ll go away one day, as if he’ll disappear despite his promises of forever.

Forever isn’t guaranteed. You’re a doctor. You know this. In all your years working in the hospital, from the very first time you set foot in one as a high school volunteer, you’ve seen enough death and destruction and despair to know that life is finite. But you’ll believe Rafael anyway, foolishly. A more rational person would question this way of thinking because it’s stupid, perhaps even irresponsible, for you to hold Rafael’s promises to such high standards.

But your mother once told you that if two people were meant to be, the universe will let it happen. And the universe, for all your faults and flaws, gave you a second chance with Rafael. While you’d like to believe that he is your forever, you definitely aren’t going to take your chances. For now, you memorize and memorize.

Rinse and repeat.

Since the moment you two got back together, officially, Rafael has made it a habit to bring you to the street market near his neighborhood at least once a week.

He says it’s a tradition at this point. The amount of times you beg him to bring you back to your favorite taco place, just so you can buy yourself your favorite carne asada taco as a treat, almost warrants the street market becoming a tradition for you two. Not that you’re complaining about it at all. Any excuse to get your hands on a soft, doughy flour tortilla filled to the brim with carne asada and cebolla y cilantro makes you a happy camper.

Today is no different. After rounding the market to see what each vendor has, you two decide on what to get: unsurprisingly, three carne asada tacos for you, and two chicken tamales for him. He likes the way this vendor makes their masa, and you like the way they make their salsa verde. So, not so secretly, you stash four sauce containers of it while he orders, just so you have enough to completely douse your tacos and his tamales.

“Maybe you should get a fifth cup,” Rafael says, voice oozing with faux concern. “I’m sure Delia didn’t notice you taking her entire stash of salsa verde.”

You give him a pointed look. “If Delia didn’t want me to take her entire stash, maybe she shouldn’t have made it so good? Checkmate, Aveiro.”

“Touché,” he says as you two take a seat at one of the empty tables near the tamale stand. Taking the lid off the container, you excitedly drench your tacos in salsa verde, the green sheen of it reflecting against the fluorescent lights above you. Nothing in the world is more mouthwatering than these tacos. Doesn’t matter if you see them every week. You’d eat them every day if you could, and you just know you won’t get sick of them. Rafael’s eyes crinkle as he laughs, and he coats his own food with the salsa. “God, you really love Delia’s salsa, huh?”

“More than anything,” you answer quickly. “Even you. I’m sorry, babe.”

“Guess we’ll have to ask Delia to cater our wedding, huh?”

“Oh my god, can we really?” you ask, taking a bite out of your food. “Man! Have her work with Oscar from the taco stand because these two together are just perfection. Absolute perfection. I don’t care if the people who come to our wedding hate tacos. They’re going to eat tacos. Period.”

Rafael looks at you thoughtfully, with so much affection in his eyes that you can feel butterflies in your stomach. It almost makes you stop eating. Almost. But your food tastes too good, and you’re too hungry to stop, and it doesn’t matter how he looks at you. You’re digging in.

By the time you finish with your first taco, he still hasn’t touched his food. You quirk your eyebrow and ask him, “Why are you just staring at me? Not hungry?”

“What if we got married? For real?”

He asks it so suddenly that you’re caught incredibly off guard. You make a choked sound, almost spilling the salsa verde all over your clothes.

“W...what?” you ask him, embarrassed at the way you reacted, wiping away the sliver of salsa drooling from your mouth. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to get married. In fact, you’ve thought about this very much, to the point where it was almost obsessive. It’s just that you don’t understand how you stuffing a taco in your mouth brought up a genuine conversation about marriage and what that meant for your futures.

“We’re coming up on two years now. We’ve been through a lot of things, tough things, that we’ve survived through together, and we’ve been living together for a while. Marriage is the next logical step, I think.” He licks his lips, looking down as if he’s nervous to continue. “I know how you feel about marriage—how it's an institution that perpetuates gender roles and how couples don’t need to be married to show that they’re committed to each other. But I’d like to marry you, very much. I truly do.”

“Oh, Raf,” you say, but he immediately cuts you off, sounding panicked.

“And I don’t mean to bring this all up to you so fast. My words sound so garbled because I’m so nervous. I don’t even know why. Just know that I don’t expect an answer immediately and that you don’t have to take my last name. Your last name is on the medical degree that you earned, and I don’t want you to think about changing it for me. We can even take your last name. Or hyphenate. I don’t care. As long as I can marry you and be with you for the rest of my life.”

You’re quiet for a while, taking in everything that he’s said. The man really is wordy when he’s nervous, and he looks like he’s sweating bullets. As you take his hand, you notice how clammy he is, and he looks at you expectantly.

“I can’t imagine marrying anyone but you, Rafael,” you answer, genuinely. The words sound so right coming out from your mouth, and that’s how you know it’s true. Rafael’s always been the one for you. You’ve known ever since the day you met him. Doesn’t matter the speed bumps along the way. All that matters is that you’re here now, together, finally deciding what the future holds for the two of you.

You expect him to look relieved. Instead, he looks exasperated. “God, it took you that long to say that? Can’t you feel how nervous I am?”

You grin and squeeze his hand tightly. “I can. And I’m enjoying it.”

He shakes your hand off his and finally stuffs a forkful of tamale into his mouth. “You’re a riot,” he says, low and steady, shaking his head. Although he tries not to smile, it spills out anyway.

A low hum reverberates in your throat. “A riot that you want to spend the rest of your life with.”

“If you keep that up, I’ll uninvite Delia and Oscar to the wedding.”

“Please don’t. If you do that, they might not give me the recipes for their salsa and tacos!”

“Somehow, I doubt they were going to do that anyways,” he answers, finishing the last of his tamale. “Now let’s hurry up so I can buy you the cream puffs you like.”

As you watch Rafael dig into his second tamale, you think back on the things he mentioned about your opinions on marriage. Marriage was something you didn’t believe in, partly due to your gender studies professor in undergrad and partly due to your parents’ failed marriage. People just get married too young, too fast, and divorce is an ugly, expensive thing. As much as you wanted to believe that true love exists, you couldn’t bear to relive through the hell that was your parents’ relationship, which is why you’ve always abstained from the thought of contractually binding yourself to another person. Images of your parents fighting—the passive aggressiveness, the bad mouthing of the other in hopes that you’d take their side—flit in your mind, a constant reminder that keeps you away from readily admitting that marriage was for you. But you are not your parents. And you will not make the same mistakes they did.

You’re glad your parents got divorced. Separately, they’re wonderful people, but they just didn’t fit. And maybe that’s the key to it all. People are like puzzles: their nooks and crannies have to fit just right in order for you to see the whole picture. So maybe that’s why your parents never worked out. Instead of falling in love with the whole person, they fell in love with fragments, only loving the parts they chose to see. To love a person, you must love them whole. And that’s what’s so different about your relationship with Rafael.

As someone who keeps herself guarded due to the trauma of parental divorce, the idea of soulmates didn’t particularly strike you as reality, but perhaps you’re beginning to think that they are real. Because as you sit here across from Rafael, you finally feel as if you’ve found yours.

The birds are chirping today.

It’s pleasant. Especially since you don’t have an alarm blaring into your left ear every thirty minutes. As you roll over, you sling your arm over a sleeping figure, who snuggles closer to you at the first sense of your touch.

“Mmm...five more minutes...” Rafael’s voice is low and scratchy in the morning. It reminds you of how sandpaper feels. You fling your leg over him, and now your whole body is cuddling him. Kind of like a sloth.

“No one’s asking you to get out of bed, silly,” you murmur, giving him a soft kiss at the top of his head.

“Good,” he says, craning his neck upwards to return a kiss to your lips. “Don’t wanna get up. This weighted blanket you bought was a good investment.”

“If it keeps you in bed with me, then I’d say it’s a pretty good investment too.”

He chuckles at that, opening his eyes a peek. His eyes are just so brown that it makes your heart ache. They’re so beautiful, especially in the sunlight, and it’s so surprising that he doesn’t think they’re anything special. As you push the bits of his bangs covering his eyes, you two stare at each other for a moment and share a knowing smile.

You think it’s fair to say that you’ve never truly known love until now.

“You gotta stop buying things that’ll keep me in bed, babe,” he grumbles, closing his eyes for a moment. “I won’t be able to get up for work.”

“Here’s an idea, then,” you begin, closing your eyes too. You listen to his breathing, so soft to the point of silence, and wrap your arms around him more tightly than before. “You and I both call in sick today. We stay in bed. Maybe even kiss a little.”

“Tempting,” he says, a smile dancing on his lips. “But as much as I’d like to kiss you all day, I gotta pay for my half of rent.”

“Alright, alright.” You throw the weighted blanket off you but leave his side intact. “You stay in bed for now, and because I love you so much, I’m going to cook you breakfast.”

Once you slide off the bed and put on your fuzzy slippers, you trudge towards the kitchen in a sleep-deprived haze. But before you can reach the door, you hear Rafael say, “Wait.”

You turn around to find him sitting up on the bed, body leaning languidly as he eyes you. “You know that I love you, right? And that I don’t know what the hell I did to deserve someone like you?”

Bemused, you lean against the doorway with a smirk on your face. “And this is suddenly coming up because?”

He shrugs. “Dunno. I know that I tell you I love you every day, but today feels different. Might be a special day for us.”

“You sound like my Co-Star app,” you tell him. He laughs at that and waves you off, pulling your weighted blanket over his head. As you make your way into the kitchen, you look at your phone.

5:49 am.

Today will be a special day. You just know it.

“What’s going on?” Sienna asks, frantic.

As Zaid and Ines lead a group towards the Emergency Department, you feel a chill going through your spine. There’s no reason to have this many residents working in the ED, unless—

“We’re running triage,” Zaid says, more solemnly than you’ve ever heard him in your life. “Huge fire downtown. It’s chaos in the ED, and we need all hands on deck.”

“Why are they coming here?” asks Jackie. “Mass Kenmore is a Level I Trauma Center. Are there really that many patients that they had to bring some to Edenbrook?”

“I’m afraid so,” Ines answers her, voice trembling a bit too much for comfort. “According to reports, the fire spread so quickly that it was almost impossible to get people out.”

That does not sound good. At all. As Zaid and Ines rattle on about the specifics of the situation, you can’t help but worry about Rafael. Your mind always wanders to him, instinctively. There’s no doubt in your mind that he’s on scene, helping as many people as he can, because he’s always been one to go above and beyond for people in situations like these, even if that meant endangering himself. Rafael won’t let you change that, won’t let you stop him from doing his job, and so you don’t. All you can do right now is hope that he’s safe wherever the hell he is.

The second you fly through the doors of the Emergency Department, a breath gets caught in your throat. Zaid wasn’t kidding when he was saying ED was in a state of chaos. You’ve never seen so many burn patients in your life. As you start giving out tags, you worry that the endless flurry of patients will never end but worry more that the flurry will end with people you know.

Walking into ED 13, you find that your patient is conscious but barely. His oxygen saturation is dangerously low, and the nurses have already put him on oxygen to stabilize his vitals. You take note of his wheezing and the red tinge on his skin. Must have been a terrible, terrible fire for all of this to happen to so many people. You can’t count how many patients you’ve seen today that look like the one right in front of you.

To your relief, he starts perking up the second he sees you. As you approach him, you see a few second-degree burns you didn’t notice before and make a mental note to chart that the second you get a chance to. “Mr. Huston, I’m your doctor for this afternoon. How are you feeling right now?”

“Honestly, I’ve been better.” The man can still joke, but a violent wave of coughs soon takes over him. “Have...have you seen my wife? I been...askin’ around, but...none of the nurses...”

“Take it easy, Jamal,” you caution him. “Breathe in and out of that mask for me, will you?”

He listens. Now, with more oxygen in his system, he takes the mask off and continues. “My wife was in the building when the fire started. Went there to visit her...then one thing led to another...and...”

“Fire broke out?”

Mr. Huston wheezes as he nods.

“Did you breathe in a ton of smoke while you were in the building?”

“Not as much as other people thanks to this nice young paramedic that pulled me out.”

You try to bite back a smile as Mr. Huston tells the story of the nice young paramedic’s heroics. Of course, Rafael’s out there doing his thing, rescuing people from burning buildings, performing CPR on victims without pulses, and being an all-around good fucking human being. From what Mr. Huston tells you, Rafael is doing things that are way above his pay grade, but you didn’t expect any less. He’s always been so selfless.

“Mr. Huston, where did this paramedic go after he pulled you out from the building?”

“I thought he came with me...did he not?”

Huh. You swore you haven’t seen Rafael around. As giant as Edenbrook’s Emergency Department was, you would have seen him at least once, considering that you’ve been rounding the entire unit like crazy. He must have been in and out of the ED to go back to the building site, or he was in the bathroom taking a break.

Either way, you don’t think anything of it. If anything, Mr. Huston’s story is a confirmation that Rafael is safe and alive, and in a day as crazy as today, that’s all you need. As you finish your assessment of Mr. Huston, you move over to the nurse’s station, logging into a computer to chart Mr. Huston’s signs and symptoms.

A bell chimes to notify all ED staff that the next wave of ambulances are arriving in T minus one minute. The paramedics arrive earlier than that, quickly surging through the ambulance bay doors, transporting patients to the very little overflow beds the ED has. One of the paramedics in particular catches your eye, and a look of recognition flashes over his face. It then quickly turns into a look of sympathy.

When you look closer, you realize that it’s Rafael’s partner, Max. He’s got several second-degree burns all over his arms, and his typically freshly-pressed uniform looks disheveled and charred.

That chills that runs down your spine? It returns. Stronger, this time. But you don’t understand why.

It isn’t until you look down onto the gurney he’s pushing that you realize what it is he’s so sympathetic about.

“Raf?”

You hear yourself scream but don’t remember commanding your body to do so. Somehow, your body drags itself from your spot at the nurse’s station, and you try to get to him before several nurses stop you. “Doctor, doctor,” one of the nurses says, eyes flashing in panic, “you need to calm down. We can’t help him if you can’t calm down.”

Despite her pleas, you rip past everyone trying to hold you back, lashing out at them to stay away.

You rush towards him, fat tears beginning to roll down your cheeks in waves. “Raf? Raf, can you hear me?” As you get to his side, you immediately begin to assess, your heart beating so heavily that you feel as if it’s going to explode.

You listen to his breathing, and it’s labored, as if he’s struggling to fill his lungs. His eyes, the very same ones you were just admiring this morning, are dull and lifeless. His skin is crackled, like a burning log, dark flakes peeling off with the slightest puff of air.

All you can do is freeze.

Time slows down when the world feels like it’s ending. This you know because right here, right now, as you stand beside the unconscious body of the love of your life, the world truly seems like it’s about to end.

You can’t even touch his fucking face. You can’t touch his hands, his arms, or even his waist because everything seems so fragile. His mouth is agape, and in it, you can see how dry his tongue is and how soot from the fire has dried on his lips. You can’t bear to look at him, not like this, in this condition. So, as you grip the railing of the gurney, your knuckles paling at the sheer force of it, your eyes flash towards his partner.

You can’t even see Max clearly because your tears blind your sight. This is just so pathetic.

“What happened?” you ask quietly. When he doesn’t answer, you ask louder. “What happened?”

“He...he went inside the building,” Max says, on the verge of tears. “After he pulled out the man in ED 13, we heard a woman yelling for help deep inside. She barely got out before the ceiling collapsed on him.” A beat passes before the tears start flowing down his cheeks, and his voice starts to crack. “I...I promise, I told him not to go, I told him—”

“Doesn’t matter what you told him, he was never going to listen,” you cut him off, bitterly wallowing in the fact that Rafael was too selfless for his own good.

Your own tears have streaked your face a dozen times over, and you can taste nothing but salt. It’s difficult to look down at the body lying on the gurney in front of you. All the parts of Rafael that made him Rafael were dimmed, if not gone completely. There were no more silly grins that you always saw even when you weren’t doing anything inherently funny, no more warm, strong arms to fall into when you found yourself crying over the littlest things, and no more big brown eyes to admire in the morning. As you look down at those brown eyes, hoping to see them once more, you find that, rather than seeing them glazed over, they’re transfixed directly on you.

“Raf, oh my god,” you wail, getting as close to him as you possibly can. His mouth, as dry as it is, twitches into a smile, and he reaches out to cup your chin in his palm.

“My love,” he answers, voice so weak that you can mistake it for silence.

“Raf, what did you do?” you sob.

“What I had to do,” is all he rasps out.

“You’re hurt,” you say, voice quivering. “You’re hurt, and you have so many burns...we...we need to order skin grafts...your lungs are damaged due to smoke inhalation...I just...I can’t do this, Raf, I can’t do this without you.”

More tears stream down your face, all the way to his hands. Although you want to believe otherwise, the damage to his body is severe, and you know he’s not going to make it. Somewhere in his eyes, you can sense that he knows too.

“Let me hold your hand,” he says, after a moment of silence between you both. He grasps your hand tightly, as tightly as he can, and shuts his eyes. Between labored breaths, he manages to say, “You are my forever.”

This is his goodbye. There are no grand exits for Rafael Aveiro. Just simple ones. And of all the things he could have said, he chose to remind you that he will be with you for as long as you live.

At the end of the day, that was the best thing about Raf. He died as he lived—feeling and caring and loving too much. And you’ll take that with you, into forever.

“You’re mine too, Raf,” you answer back, bringing his hand to your cheek.

He smiles one last time. As minutes pass, his grip lessens and his chest stops rising. When a nurse silently walks up next to you, you continue to hold his hand tightly, silent tears rolling down your face.

In all your years working in the hospital, you’ve seen enough death and destruction and despair to know that life is finite, but the finality of life has never felt so painful as it does right now. As you exhale a shaky breath, you open your eyes and say the words you wish you never had to say about someone you loved so much.

“Time of death: 2:34 pm.”

Rafael’s grandmother asked you to speak at the funeral. It was a difficult speech to prepare, considering the circumstances. While you wish nothing more than to send Rafael a proper goodbye, you were in no state to prepare any arrangements of any kind. Just typing “good afternoon” on the Word document brought you to tears.

But you did it anyways. If not for Rafael’s grandmother, for Rafael himself. He, of all people, deserved it.

When you stand up on the podium, you scan the crowd to see familiar faces. Everyone you know is there, including Chief Banerji and Dr. Ramsey. You’re even surprised to see that Sora is in attendance, sitting all the way in the back row with misty eyes and a sympathetic smile on her face.

Clearing your throat, you start to speak. “Good afternoon, family and friends. I want to start off this speech by saying Rafael would not have wanted us to mourn him. That is why I wrote this speech as a celebration of life because we should celebrate the life of someone as beautiful as Rafael Aveiro.

“The first time I met Raf was when we were both on call. He had just saved someone, which is always the way we met up during the first year of our relationship. When I asked him if he really went into a burning inferno to save someone, he answered, matter-of-factly: ‘Well yeah...wouldn’t you?’ And that interaction tells you everything you really need to know about Raf. He cared so much about others, even if it put him in danger. He loved his job, he loved his patients, and he loved pushing himself beyond the boundaries of his job description.

“I think that’s what drew us so closely together, what bound us together for life. Healthcare is a field where you’re fully devoted to strangers, where you’re constantly pushing yourself to be better so you can treat your patients to the best of your ability. And Rafael was so damn good at it, so damn good at his job. He loved people. He loved others. At the expense of himself. But I’ll never fault him for that. Raf’s sacrifice meant that someone else’s family member got to live, and at the end of the day, that’s what he lived for.

“The woman he saved that day was the wife of one of my patients. The two got separated in the fire, and Raf made sure that she would be able to get out and see to live another day. He was so selfless, so worthy of a long, fulfilling life. And while it’ll never get easier to refer to him as the past, I hope he knows that he will always be a big part of my future, wherever it’ll take me. Take care, Rafael, and may you rest in peace.”

As you finish your speech with a shaky breath, an applause erupts from the audience. Rafael’s grandmother is the most visibly shaken by your speech, and when you take your seat, she grabs your hand and squeezes it tightly, not letting go until the end of the service.

The service itself was a long and arduous process. You looked away at certain parts, hoping that Rafael’s grandmother didn’t see just how much you were sobbing. After all, it’s never easy to see the cremated remains of the love of your life. Looking away doesn’t make you forget that he’s gone, but it saved you from seeing another reminder of your reality.

Afterwards, once everyone gives their condolences, his grandmother comes up to you again. She looks at you, sad and mournful, and that’s all it takes for you to burst into tears. Bringing her hand up to wipe your tears away, she hushes you gently and takes you into her arms.

“You know he loved you, right?” she asks you, softly. All you do is nod because you can’t seem to croak any words out. “He loved you so much. I’ve never seen that boy so head over heels for a girl. Even asked me for our family ring so he can ask you to marry him.”

You pull back, surprised. “He did?”

“He did,” grandmother says, nodding to confirm. “He even went to the jeweler to resize it for you, just so it’ll fit on your finger when he proposed.” She steps back to appraise you with a sorrowful smile on her lips. “I wouldn’t have given it to him just for any girl, you know. The universe wanted you two together. I just knew.”

You nod, smiling through the tears. You know it did. Just not in this timeline.

Sure enough, when you finally have the strength to look through his drawers, you find that there’s an engagement ring nestled inside a small box deep within his underwear drawer. It’s beautiful—all jade-colored with gold details. And just as his grandmother said to you, it was a perfect fit.

More often than not, you think back on that day. You think of things you could have done better. Maybe if you got him on fluids, maybe if you ordered a skin graft as soon as you saw him, maybe if you just convinced him to stay home that day, he would still be alive.

But some things are just out of your control. Even if you got him to stay home, he would have hopped in the car the second he heard about the emergency. Even if you ordered a skin graft on time, there was too much surface area on his body to cover. Even if you had gotten him on fluids, he was already at the point of no return by the time you got to his body.

Too many things going wrong, too little time.

Medicine is all quantifiable data and qualitative research. As powerful as that is, it couldn’t go against death, and it couldn’t go against fate. There is nothing that is humanly designed that can go against the universe.

While that may seem terrible, it is what it is. Life is cruel. It is selfish and impatient. It takes as it gives, and it is unremorseful.

But life is also beautiful. It still gave you Rafael. It gave you his warmth in the morning and in the night, his soft kisses, and his comforting hugs. It gave you his empathy for others, his love for Caribbean food, and his dedication to his patients. It gave you a chance at knowing what true love feels like, despite believing your entire life that you’ll never find it.

Life may be fleeting, but that’s why you’ll decide to live it day by day. Because that's what Rafael would have wanted.

And you wouldn’t want to live life any other way.

#rafael aveiro #rafael aveiro x mc #rafael aveiro x reader #open heart #playchoices #choices #my writing #fic: take care

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bold-lettered-blog · 4 years ago

Text

#17

things i imagined

kyungsoo/sehun, pg-13, 8000+ words

sehun is really proud of having more than two lines (and kyungsoo is too)

(sorting through my old computer, i found this gem i started way back in 2015, after the promotions of ‘love me right’. i don’t write fics anymore, which is kind of sad and somehow inevitable given the very different life i’m living right now, but it was so heartwarming to reminisce about all the beautiful times i spent loving sesoo and writing and this fandom... i thought i’d share it with you. so here it goes, in all it’s raw, unfinished, un-proof read glory, a draft from something that could have been a whole novel. at the end, there’s a long note i wrote to myself how the story would turn out)

The manager hyungs tell him the exact same thing that Baekhyun's been saying all along. "I feel it, I feel it sooo deep in my heart that you're going to slay the next comeback. You're going to have more than two lines, you'll see," is what Baekhyun said, but it left Sehun feeling nothing else but a bitter aftertaste in his mouth. He is perfectly aware of his incapabilities of singing, and he has so much to improve both dancing and rapping wise, he knows that, yet the cold fact that he has pretty much nothing to work with makes him grim and gloomy.

That is why, on a sunny Thursday morning, when all the members are gathered in one of the practice rooms with Jongin dancing to himself in one of the corners, he lacks the feeling of any kind of excitement. The lyrics are about to be handed to them - some of the parts he's heard, mostly Yixing's, when he was singing in the shower, but he has no idea what's about to come right to him. Maybe Baekhyun's right, and he's going to have more than 6 seconds to prove his talent, but that seems too beautiful to be true. God, Sehun, get yourself together, he thinks. Jongdae pokes him in the waist then, staring into his soul like he's looking at his only child. Oh, Sehun often forgets that his face is like a mirror to anything that's going on in his head.

"Why so down?" Jongdae says to him, his frizzly poodle hair crowning his head almost perfectly. Sehun sometimes feels jealous, because Jongdae is one of the very best vocalists in SM, even if he's not as smooth as Kyungsoo.

Kyungsoo. Well, if Sehun could be anyone for a day he sure would be Kyungsoo, Kyungsoo the brave, the manly, the one with the silky voice. He would sing like an angel and more. He would be smiley, and nice, and very delicate and soft. Because – and Kyungsoo would hit him if he heard that – this is what Kyungsoo is. And Sehun wants that, even if just a little bit, to feel that kind of power in his voice, to feel small and cute and down to earth at the same time.

Sometimes Sehun forgets Kyungsoo is human. He is, after all, but Sehun likes to think that Kyungsoo is an alien, because only an alien could be so inhumanly impeccable all the time.

Chanyeol would oppose to that, surely, but Chanyeol is not someone Kyungsoo would want near 24/7. Who Kyungsoo wants near is Jongin, and Minseok, and Joonmyeon. He wants near Jongdae and Yixing and sometimes Baekhyun and very rarely Chanyeol. But he does not want Sehun, and the thought cuts down right to his core where it hurts the most to leave him bleeding out all cold and lonely.

I'm horrible, Sehun thinks, to view hyung's distance that way when obviously he has reasons, but Sehun can't help himself. Can't help himself now when Tao is gone to LA and Lu Han is in China. The distance is too much, yet feels nowhere as far as Kyungsoo is to him.

"And Sehun," the manager says, and Sehun snaps out of his reverie. He takes his paper and bows. From the corner of his eyes he sees Kyungsoo smiling, bright, but it's not aimed at Sehun. Never at him.

Baekhyun was right - as much as Sehun didn't believe it, he got a whole of two more lines to work with, and Chanyeol comes up congratulating him grinning, patting the small of his back.

"You've worked hard for this," Baekhyun says, and Sehun feels grateful, and strong, and invincible. Almost like Kyungsoo.

Jongin laughs at him, then, saying he needs to improve his english even more, but Sehun pays no attention to him. All he cares about is the plus two lines he got and this brilliant opportunity to show himself and everyone else how great he actually is.

After practice and reading through the lines to the new song and mini album, 'Love Me Right', Sehun stays back at the washroom. He dismisses Junmyeon with a slight wave of the hand when Junmyeon tries to coerce him back to the dorms.

"I'm good hyung, don't worry," Sehun says to him when Junmyeon looks too adamant about staying in with him. "Just need a bit of fresh air."

"Alright," Junmyeon says hesitantly and slowly turns to leave. His face is all soft lines and little curves. He is beautiful and sings just right, and-- god, there it goes again, the awful feeling of not being enough screwing a hole right to the middle of Sehun's heart.

There are times that you feel not quite comfortable in your body, Sehun knows, and he's been through those days, months, even years, but still, the defeating sense of being worthless stings five times more than anything. Being worthless means being unwanted, and even though Sehun is familiar with the feeling, he hasn't been exposed to that kind of emotion in a long time.

It hurts. There is no physical pain, but it hurts just as much as having your throat cut right open. It itches. Lingers. Then you bleed out.

I'm pathetic – is what he thinks next. The water from the faucet has been running for a good ten minutes now. He sinks his hands under it, watches the drops falling apart somewhere between his knuckles. It's akin to the way he feels his own heart breaking right now.

He hears the door clicking open, and someone steps in. Sehun almost spins around to say something not so very nice, but when he registers Kyungsoo standing by the entrance, his back plastered to the closed door, he looses all his words.

Looking at Kyungsoo now is almost as bad as having his heart laying around in tiny little pieces. Kyungsoo the brave, the great, the smooth voiced, the awesome. He really is awesome, and also so far away. It makes Sehun feel a hundred times worse.

He splashes his face with cold water, his fingertips going numb pretty fast. Oh, how he wishes his feelings could go numb just as simple as that. He turns off the faucet, stares at himself in the mirror. Kyungsoo is still there, with his back to the door. He hasn't moved an inch. It makes Sehun feel bad for him, because Sehun hasn't been particularly nice. He turns to say something, something cheerful, something that would make him feel empty inside, like, "I'm alright. I was just feeling hot," or, "I'm feeling okay." All of them would be a lie.

"I'm proud of you, Sehun-ah."

Kyungsoo says that. Just when Sehun thinks about a truth to tell that would not be as judging or hurting, Kyungsoo simply says that. Smoothly. Sincerely. Like he has his whole heart behind it.

"There is no need to pity me, hyung," Sehun says, and it's true, although it doesn't entirely feels right on the tounge. Sehun isn't the type to make a big fuss, he's just loud and sometimes overhyped and childish, but he's never the one to start a fight. The simple thought of having a quarrel with someone makes him nauseous throughout his body.

"Why would I pity you," Kyungsoo takes a step forward. There is only about a meter between them but it feels like a whole ocean. "When you are so talented? I only pity your limited opportunities."

Sehun goes quiet after that, just stares at the little bow above Kyungsoo's lips. He has a pretty mouth, and a pretty voice, with a pretty face. A pretty, petite body. Nice muscles. Sehun has none of that, and something self-destructive tries to tentatively climb its way up his throat. Sehun tones it down with a shallow smile, but the way Kyungsoo leans towards him indicates that Sehun doesn't have to hide anything from him.

He doesn't realise how long they stand there, wordlessly, Kyungsoo boring holes into his soul with his eyes. Sehun would feel self-conscious if it wasn't for the fact that he's practically empty inside.

"Um, alright," Sehun speaks up after what feels like an eternity. He starts for the door, to where Kyungsoo is standing. His back isn't pushed against the frame anymore, but Sehun still senses his presence there when he goes to click the door open. "Let's go back to the dorm."

Kyungsoo just stands there, staring at him. Sehun stills his hand on the doorknob. Kyungsoo looks majestic, even while shifting his weight from one leg to another. The eeriness of Kyungsoo's being makes him kind of calm, but doesn't fill in the empty cracks in his soul.

Sehun then suddenly realises; this is the way Kyungsoo gives comfort. Sehun knows Kyungsoo isn't really good with words, because he has his feelings too complicated to say out loud. Kyungsoo shows affection with body language and slight brushes on the arm, the fingers, the knees. Kyungsoo is good at praising but never comforting. Kyungsoo is not an alien. Kyungsoo is a boy with dark eyebrows and a rich dip above his lips that Sehun will never have.

Kyungsoo reaches out to him. The moment his hand spills out wide on Sehun's back is the moment when the empty space inside him slowly starts to fuel up with untamed longing, the kind that you cannot foresee or outrun. It's just a feeling there, at the back of your heart, pulsing all vibrant and bright until it dies out in your throat.

Sehun reminds himself it's Kyungsoo. His bandmate. Ex-roommate. Brother. Friend. Someone Sehun could never...

He doesn't finish the thought. He doesn't dare to. Instead, he shies away from the touch.

Kyungsoo isn't taken aback. Kyungsoo doesn't usually have his reactions excessive - he is always collected, meanwhile Sehun is falling apart.

"Okay," Kyungsoo says, waits until Sehun opens the door and emerges. As Sehun watches him walking afore, the longing kicks back with full force.

When did he become so infatuated? Kyungsoo has been there with him pretty much from the very beginning, the trainee days when Sehun was almost the same height as him, when they were still little kids with only dreams in their pockets. Kyungsoo knows every aspect of him, but Sehun doesn't know half of Kyungsoo's heart. How did Kyungsoo make him so defenseless?

Maybe he was whipped from the start. Maybe it was when Kyungsoo walked in with his arms fasted close to his side, glasses high up on his nose. Maybe it was years later, around debut, when Kyungsoo first let Sehun really into the hall of his heart, but never opened more rooms for him. Or maybe, just maybe – it was the way Kyungsoo's hands stilled over his back mere fifteen minutes ago.

---

Sleep doesn't come easy that evening. He still remembers the warmth of Kyungsoo's palm on his back, the longing that the touch awoke - the fact that this simple genuine act of kindness affects him so much keeps him twisting and turning throughout the night.

Junmyeon is fast asleep on the other side of the room. There is not much light, only a faint blue ray of moon shines in through the cracks of the blinds and paints Junmyeon's hair grey on end. Sehun takes the image in, thinks, if Junmyeon were to stay with him in the washroom, would have he felt the same longing that washed over him without warning? Would Junmyeon's touch on his back make him feel not as empty as much?

Maybe it's just about his attachment to his hyungs – after all, they've been through so much, ups and downs, awards, tears, angriness – that he feels this connected. They are close. All of them.

So why does a touch of Kyungsoo make him this needy? Years ago, this touch would have meant nothing – or, at least, nothing that it means now. It would mean "I'm here for you", or, "There's no need to be sad". It wouldn't mean "I want you so much".

He shivers at that thought. He doesn't really want Kyungsoo, does he? Yes, Kyungsoo is small, and kind, and soft, but Kyungsoo is Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is his bandmate. Ex-roommate. Brother. Friend. Someone Sehun could never...

There's this thought again, scratching the back of his mind all tireless. It leaves Sehun unarmed and a sudden tiredness washes over him, the weight of the world pressing his eyelids closed. These confusing feelings are draining him of energy and if he doesn't sleep now, yesterday's dance practice will hurt like hell.

He wills himself to sleep at half past three, staring at Junmyeon's hair painted all various greys.

---

Promotions for Love Me Right are cut short - it's mostly because of individual schedules and the remaining stops of their Asian concert tour. Sehun doesn't really have anything to do - one photoshoot here, an other there, but mainly, there's nothing in his line up.

"They ain't no giving you schedules because they don't want to," Jongdae says to him one particular night out with the beagle-line. "It's because the company has a lot of controversies going on."

Sehun rolls his eyes at that. He wishes Jongdae could stop defending this shitty regime SM built up. He doesn't tell him how SM cut short Super Junior's promotions as well, doesn't argue him about f(x) being neglected, or SHINee unpaid, even though he would like to oppose.

Jongdae is not the right person to have a quarrell with. He is bold and loud, words sprouting out his mouth like fire yet inside he's mellow and delicate. It's all contradictions; Jongdae sees only good, but his words are sharp, even if his heart is made out of butterflies and fine china.

"Um, let's not talk about this," Baekhyun says, but Sehun has enough of not communicating about their problems. This is the exact thing that happened when Kris, then Lu Han and Tao left, it's the same thing that is happening now. Sehun has enough of not talking. He wants to, but doesn't quite know how when all his members want to talk about is patbingsu, and the thought eats him away. He's long lost his appetite, but Chanyeol is still shoving fat dumplings down his throat.

By the time the patbingsu arrives, Sehun collects his courage enough to say, "I think we need to speak more often. About... Our... Problems."

He feels three pairs of eyes boring holes right into him, but doesn't dare to look up. He knows what they'll look like anyways; having their mouth open, paralysed, a dumb expression gracing all of their faces. Sehun knows talking isn't one of his characteristics per se, but there are things that need to be said. Even if it hurts.

He wonders if Kyungsoo felt exactly like this, the other day back in the washroom when he had his narrow little back pushed against the door. He wonders if Kyungsoo struggled to say those words out, just like Sehun was struggling right now, if he had the same whirlwind of thoughts creeping to the back of his head. He wonders if it's anything more than it already is; if it was something Kyungsoo had on his mind all day long, and the thought spreads a warm tingling sensation throughout his chest.

"Well... Let's talk then," Jongdae says. He has ice cream running down his chin, and for a split moment Sehun wants to reach out and wipe it away, wants to see if touching Jongdae feels the same as swiping a hand down Kyungsoo's arm.

"Yeah, let's talk," says Chanyeol, nodding, "It's true we haven't really had a conversation about... things."

Sehun tries to speak, tries to say something relevant, something meaningful, but every jumbled word of his gets stuck halfway between two mouthfuls of shaved ice. This is an opportunity to open up, as if he wasn't open enough, and now, goddamn, there's no sound coming out of his mouth. He thinks, why am I being like this, when he was the one to start up this conversation and they could talk for real this time, and, god, there is nothing he can say.

Baekhyun notices he's struggling. Baekhyun, on regular, notices a lot of things; he's observing, everything and everyone to the point where he realises individual gestures of feelings. He especially notices Sehun, lately, and it makes Sehun feel safe, like he has someone to lean on when the day is hard and heavy, the two of them sitting quietly at the back of the van, not really talking but still, Baekhyun's caresses are speaking to him. A light stroke on the hand means, "you are not alone," and two fingers circulating Sehun's wrist says, "you can tell me anything". Baekhyun can communicate well with both words and body, and that is something Sehun lacks. Too. Sehun lacks a lot of things. A strange feeling floods him all blue to his toes and he shoves the patbingsu away.

"Sehun-ah, we know it's been hard on you," Baekhyun says then, not looking at Sehun but watching his abandoned patbingsu instead. "The other members leaving does not mean we will leave you too."

Damn, Baekhyun observed Sehun too much. The cold truth of his feelings being said out loud by somebody else feels like a rock hard punch to the stomach. His hands are shaking, so he hides them under the table, never really looking Baekhyun in the eye.

"Is that why you're so down lately, Sehun-ah? I noticed you shying away the other day after practice. We're here for you, you know?" Jongdae says. His voice is smooth and rich like honey. It's another punch right to Sehun's core.

"Yes," Sehun says. He could tell them about Kyungsoo, and Kyungsoo's hand, and his narrow petite back, but chooses not to. They do not need to know that.

"Don't be sad, Sehun-ah. Smile instead," is all Chanyeol says. It's unlikely of him, to talk this little, but Sehun knows the three ex-members leaving has made all of them sad in different ways.

"I'm not sad anymore," says Sehun, and for the first time that night, he smiles. It's a real smile, and it comes forceless and easy, even though the feeling of blue still stings at his sides.

The car ride back is happy, Baekhyun and Jongdae singing along to crappy songs on the radio and Chanyeol beatboxing for them, but inside the dorm, locked in his room, Sehun cannot find his peace.

Sehun catches himself wondering too much lately – wondering about his worth, abilities, opportunities, chances he had missed, chances he had taken. Thinks about the times when training for being a part of an SM boyband was enough for him, when feeling like he belongs was his only desire. Remembers the the long afternoons spent in various practice rooms with boys just like him, scrawny kids who haven’t grown into their own skin yet, didn’t even know how to. All they knew was what they wanted – being stars, dancers, singers, maybe a bit of all three. But did they know what they needed?

Junmyeon groans in his sleep across the room. Sehun looks in his general direction, but doesn’t see much – just stares into black nothingness, but imagines Junmyeon fast asleep with his knees drawn close to his chest, his hair crowning his head like a halo on his five hundred thousand won pillow. Wonders if sleep came to Junmyeon easy this night, if he dreams in colour, about things he wants to do, about things he loves.

Wonders if Kyungsoo wonders as much as he does on sleepless nights when his bones and muscles are dense from too much dancing, stomach too full from after-practice dinner. Wonders, what if Kyungsoo is only nice to him out of pity, even though he said he doesn’t pity him; what if Kyungsoo is not particularly kind just to him, if he’s nice to anyone else, anyone other than Sehun, only he didn’t notice it, and the thought itself sends an ugly, deep, coiling feeling to his guts. He turns, away from Joonmyeon’s direction, stares at the plain greyness of the cold wall.

When he finally falls asleep, there’s a strange sense of guilt etched under his skin. It still stings in the morning.

---

The filming of Pure Love begins in June, summer heat too scolding hot to bear. Kyungsoo goes swinging between their concert tour and shooting, with very limited time on his hands to spend some quality “alone-ness” in the dorm. The absence of Kyungsoo’s being makes Sehun put his head under cold water, seeking a kind of strange comfort in anything he can find; an evening out with Jongdae, an afternoon spent with Jongin and his dogs, a brunch shared with Joonmyeon, but none of them truly makes him feel any better. The past few months of indescribable, unpredicted heartbreak and gloominess spent in agony and wondering about that particular day at the practice room cannot just go away with few laughters. Not even with a true, hearty one, one that Sehun tries to entertain throughout June, when Kyungsoo is away most of the time.

The TV is on with Chanyeol’s face in the jungle on it when Kyungsoo comes home late at night, on a Sunday almost-morning. Sehun is somewhere between letting his eyes closing in shut and forcing them open, but the minute Kyungsoo steps in the living room, he’s wide awake. Every nestle Kyungsoo makes sounds ten times louder now with everyone gone to their respective rooms, only Sehun lounging around on the couch at this ungodly hour. Tomorrow they have practice for their concert, and Joonmyeon has been alarming him of it throughout the evening, but sleep hasn’t again come easy to Sehun this week, leaving him switching through channels all restless.

Kyungsoo’s tired, is the first thing Sehun notices. He puts his keys on the hanger swiftly, but the next moment he comes stumbling across the room, one thing Kyungsoo rarely does. Clumsiness is not an adjective of many to describe Kyungsoo, Sehun knows, and when Kyungsoo hits the pillow next to him, Sehun doesn’t think twice about circling his hands around his waist.

“Rough day?” Sehun asks, voice low, calm. Chanyeol’s face flashes on the screen.

“Just long,” Kyungsoo answers. “Had a lot of scenes today.”

His body has a sheen of sweet summer sweat all over it. Sehun collects them with his thumb as he swipes it over in circles on the back of Kyungsoo’s hand. “Maybe you should skip practice tomorrow.”

Kyungsoo’s eyes are fixed on the TV screen but his gaze is unfocused. Sehun wonders if he only sees colours and abstract shapes. “No, I’ll go,” Kyungsoo says, in return, a few heartbeats later. The sweat on Kyungsoo’s hand is slowly starting to dry, and Sehun stops drawing loops on his palm.

“Maybe you should go to sleep then,” is what Sehun says next. Kyungsoo looks down at their hands, almost intertwined. When Sehun starts to circle his thumb around Kyungsoo’s palm again, Kyungsoo stretches his fingers for Sehun’s to meet in the middle. It almost burns, the faint touch of Kyungsoo’s skin on Sehun’s, but it’s soft, almost like a feather. Almost like it isn’t there.

It’s a pure movement, lacking any kind of ulterior motive or menace, needing no response. Yet still, the undeniable force of wanting to put their hands together strikes Sehun with dispatch, something he cannot foresee, something that is impossible to outrun.

But want and incidence does not necessarily align. Kyungsoo’s hand is gone. He stands, starts for the bathroom. Sehun looks at him from across, the light in the hallway illuminating Kyungsoo’s sun-kissed skin that practically glows under white-ish led lights, and Sehun can’t help but think about ways to let Kyungsoo know that he wants his hand over his a little longer, a little more. By the door, Kyungsoo says, face slightly turned back to look at Sehun, “You should go to sleep too.”

“Okay, hyung,” Sehun says, but dwells there for a moment or two. Maybe Kyungsoo is just a really good friend with really beautiful skin, and a majestic voice, and deep brown eyes.

Sehun can’t really pinpoint out what brings him to follow Kyungsoo into the bathroom – need… want? –, yet he’s there, arm slightly pushing against the doorframe in a try-hard nonchalant way. Kyungsoo is too tired to take notice of him or even acknowledge his presence with a mere humm as he takes off his shirt.

Suddenly there’s not enough air for Sehun to breathe in, the walls turning in on him too soon, too fast. Kyungsoo is just standing there, right by the shower as he waits for the water to cool down, and with a facile move, one blink of an eye, he’s in, completely naked.

It’s not like they haven’t seen each other naked before. In fact, Sehun has seen the entire band in their natural state, especially Baekhyun, who doesn’t care about what anyone thinks. Oh, how Sehun wishes he was anything like Baekhyun. But he’s not. Instead, he’s standing in the bathroom, Kyungsoo about an arm and a full ocean away, in all of his naked sun-kissed wet glory, and he feels like a fool. How did he get here, exactly, again?

The shower stall opens. Cold air gushes all over Sehun’s body. “Are you getting in or not?” Kyungsoo says. Like it’s nothing.

Maybe it really is nothing. Maybe they’re really just nothing, and this moment of vulnerability as Sehun stands there, wordlessly taking his clothes off, is barely just a dream of feverish thoughts.

The water is cool enough to keep Sehun standing on both of his feet. Kyungsoo puts shower gel on a sponge, traces his skin with it over and over again. Sehun watches him, without a sound, because he doesn’t know what else to do. To be clear, he doesn’t know anything, not even lately. All he knows is Kyungsoo’s skin is beautiful and glowing and tan. He’s nothing like Sehun.

Kyungsoo turns to him then, offers him the sponge. It’s still wet and soapy, and Sehun can practically smell his own desperation over the scent of coconut shower gel. He finds himself mulling about the muscles on Kyungsoo’s back as he turns, reaching up for shampoo, the muscles that he has never seen before. How long has this been happening? How did Sehun not notice? And why does the simple thought of Kyungsoo being close to him send him into overdrive?

By the time he’s soaped himself up, Kyungsoo is out, a baby blue towel fastened low around his waist. Sehun has little to no time to comprehend the deficit of Kyungsoo’s body heat. Everything is happening so quick, like a sketchy dream, in a non-linear realm of disjointed occurrents. Sehun feels like he’s out of his body and mind, and Kyungsoo’s gone again, only a few patches of water left of him on the bathroom floor.

---

Sehun knows something is changing. Or, as Baekhyun says on a lovely, mildly hot August summer evening out on the roof of their apartment, stuffing their faces with ordered bulgoggi, “something has already been changed”.

“What do you mean?” Sehun says, mouth full of spicy rice cake. He very well knows what Baekhyun means, but it’s too soon to admit that. He’d rather play blind, like he’s been playing for who knows how long.

“You very well know what I mean,” Baekhyun says, pointedly. Sehun hates how he sees through a lot of things. Even more now, when he sees right through him. “Kyungsoo. And you. Or should I put it this way; your feelings for Kyungsoo?”

Sehun is compelled, at first, to say something opposing like “What, no,” or “Haha, you’re kidding me,” but nothing comes to his mind. It’s only blank, his heart, with a little vibrato at the base of his lungs and at the top of his stomach, sizzling with little heat and a nervous trembling. Somehow the half full bowl of bulgoggi seems disgusting right now, but he has no strength to push it away. An after-image of the practice room door and Kyungsoo’s tiny back pushed against it comes to him, accompanied by a ghost of Kyungsoo’s fingers against his flashes right before his eyes, clear, unabashed, unchanged. Then there’s the feeling: the feeling of not being good enough and being too much, too loud, too forgettable makes his heart sink, just a little, right where his stomach is pulsing with unkindness. Baekhyun sees right through him, but when has he ever not?

Baekhyun reaches out, takes the bulgoggi of Sehun’s hands, puts it on the ground. The sky is simmering in blues both pale and deep dark, underlined with a kind of warmness of the setting sun, painted in low oranges and yellows at the bottom. It’s only after he’s sitting fast and close next to Sehun, his hands around his shoulder when he says, “You’ve been out of focus lately… If you want to talk about it, I’m here.”

The closeness of Baekhyun is not unpleasant, but it’s nothing compared to Kyungsoo’s body heat hitting Sehun in the chest warm and kind and fast. Sehun feels like choking up, because, even if he tries not to, somehow he grew too fond of Kyungsoo and his many talents; his voice, his cooking, his body…

If Sehun could shout right now he would, he would let out a shriek so sharp it would almost represent his bleeding heart. Baekhyun senses his discomfort, so he pulls him closer, so close Sehun’s head fits under his perfect little chin. Baekhyun is as easy to hug as he is easy to love, something Sehun can’t identify with. An ugly bubble of jealousy boils up inside him, and now he’s full of colours, all sad blues and yellows of envy.

If he doesn’t speak now he’s going to burst, so he does what he has to do; at least this he knows, so he says, quietly, “Why does everything have to be so confusing and hard?”

Baekhyun’s hands are still around him, holding him in place so Sehun doesn’t completely fall apart. Sehun appreciates Baekhyun’s sensible nature, but somehow thinks nothing, not even Baekhyun’s emphatic solacement could ever take away these blues.

“That’s just life,” Baekhyun’s voice is soft. “It happens to everyone, every now and then.”

Sehun breaks away from Baekhyun to look him in the eye. “Does everyone feel this worthless as I do?”

“Having ups and downs sometimes is human,” Baekhyun responds. There’s a chill breeze swiping past them the moment these words roll off his tongue and Sehun feels helpless. “Not being able to comprehend our worth is human. Hell, some people never get to know their real worth. Having someone you like, and maybe falling in love with them, and maybe loving them unconditionally and getting nothing in return is human. Loving someone of… the same sex is okay. Even if your parents say otherwise. Even if society says otherwise. And I hope you know, Oh Sehun, that I love you. And I want the best for you. And I also want you to know that having complicated feelings is okay. Everybody has. Everybody has to, at some point in their life, face hardships. But we will pull you through. We are almost brothers, remember?”

A moment of silence passes between them. Sehun is trying to make sense out of Baekhyun’s words, even though Baekhyun has been clear from the very start. Damn, Baekhyun is really good at unfolding the deepest, darkest pits of Sehun’s irregularly beating heart, but Sehun does not yet know what Baekhyun’s words mean to him. Is he really– in love? With Kyungsoo hyung? Kyungsoo hyung, who cooks for him at midnight, who accompanies him to movies no other wants to watch with him; Kyungsoo hyung, who not only has a voice, but has the looks, the strength, the passion, the heart? Kyungsoo doesn’t usually have his heart out on his sleeves, at least, not like Sehun has his right now, laid out bare and raw in front of Baekhyun to touch. Because Baekhyun, out of all people, is now seeing it; the rush of sadness that escapes Sehun in form of tears, hot and wet down the side of his cheeks. He’s crying, in relief or grief, in realisation or deny he doesn’t know; all he knows is he’s crying, on the goddamn roof, his bulgoggi growing cold on the ground, with Baekhyun’s arms around him in a consoling manner.

There are times when Sehun is too lost, too deep in his thoughts to listen to anything that’s said to him. But this time he does, he really, truly listens, but Baekhyun’s words he cannot comprehend – yet. So he just cries, soundless, his broad shoulders shaking as he tries to wipe away tears that had been trying to break out ever since on that unfaithful day at the practice room.

“Good,” says Baekhyun, hand coming up to Sehun’s nape to linger a little bit. “We, I think, need to embrace sadness as well as we embrace happiness. Cry it out, Sehun-ah.”

So he cries and cries.

---

They say, after the rain comes the sun, and for Sehun it might just happen. The experience shared with Baekhyun on the roof with cold bulgoggi and mildly dark-yellow setting Sun and a lot of crying made Sehun feel ten times lighter in the chest. In some strange way, letting his emotions out in form of tears provided as a moderate temporary solution for an aching heart, even if Sehun was always sceptical of this form of pain-relief: he usually laughed away his tears with either too much dance or too many food, but this time around, crying his tiny heart out served him good, leaving him feeling a lot fresher in the morning. Not even the burnt toast Joonmyeon made him as a lame excuse of a breakfast took away his smile as he sat at the table, poking Jongin in the ribs with his index finger till Jongin had enough, pushing at him in revenge, and when it’s time for dance practice later, at around ten o’clock, nothing seems to make him feel down.

Until Kyungsoo appears. Because he does, he dares to show up in a slick black training suit, his hair a muzzled nest on the top of his head, with all of his brownish glowing skin, and Sehun suddenly feels a stone drop in his stomach, deep and low and hurting.

The uneasy feeling stays throughout dance practice. However hard he tries, he just simply can’t bear to look away from Kyungsoo’s reflection in the mirror, and the longing that has been keeping him up at night for the past several months makes him unable to coherently rehearse his lines, leaving him feeling all kind of different blues again.

Practice lets out at three in the afternoon, and everybody is up for lunch. Sehun doesn’t really have an appetite right now, seeing as how well Kyungsoo gets along with either Chanyeol or Jongin or Joonmyeon. Sehun sticks with Jongdae, sits close to him in the booth at their favourite diner with Kyungsoo across him.

Jongdae tells him bad jokes as Sehun watches Kyungsoo’s hand slide along Jongin’s shoulder, laughing at a very funny thing Chanyeol just said. Sehun couldn’t care less, he thinks, and turns back to Jongdae to feign a smile at another bad joke of his, the kind that only Baekhyun appreciates, but damn, halfway along the tenth shaggy dog story Baekhyun tells Jongdae, Sehun’s attention wanders back to the other side of the table. Apparently he cares, and wonders if Kyungsoo cares about him too the way he does about him. Wonders if that night in the shower meant the same to him as it did to Sehun. Oh wait, he doesn’t even know what it meant, or if it means anything at all. Questions he cannot yet answer flood his mind and the lightness he felt in the morning now seems so far away, even farther than Kyungsoo feels a few feet away to his upper right, laughing in a kind of joy Sehun can’t possibly share.

Above a table full of food and light chatter on both sides, Sehun still ponders, thinks about the times when his feelings were left unchanged and discerning happenings in life seemed easy and quick. Now, all he has is a depot of amphigoric thoughts and a confused heart and Kyungsoo is still sitting over at the table in his pretty tracksuit and pretty face and Sehun can’t think about anything else.

Somewhere between a bite of galbi and yet another fart joke from Baekhyun, Sehun’s fingertips start to tickle on end. Kyungsoo has reached over the table for a side dish, but missed and took Sehun’s hand instead. Sehun’s mouth goes dry as sand as Kyungsoo smiles at his own foolishness, and gives a light pat on Sehun’s hand before reaching over for kimchi. The chopsticks in Sehun’s hand are starting to slide off, and Sehun decides to collect himself. He won’t let the knot in his stomach stop him from eating all this delicious food, so he starts stuffing his face with various meats, korean barbeque first and foremost. Yixing laughs at him, says, “Sehun-ah, you’ll choke on your food, eat slowly,” but what Yixing doesn’t understand is, if Sehun stops forcing huge bites down his throat, he might as well suffocate from the knot in it.

“Sehun-ah has been working very hard lately,” Kyungsoo says. “He needs to eat well.”

“True that, but he’s eating like a machine,” says Baekhyun, puts a hand over Sehun’s shoulders mid-bite. “Sehun-ah, you’ve been showing us your many talents this past comeback, you shouldn’t kill yourself with too much barbeque. Right, Kyungsoo?”

It’s a huge bite that gets stuck in his throat and makes Sehun gag, Sehun would like to think, not Baekhyun’s rather smart remark to Kyungsoo. Baekhyun just smirks at him and Sehun thinks he wants to put his hands over his neck and just simply squeeze him to death, but that would be inappropriate in a diner Joonmyeon loves. And Sehun loves Joonmyeon, so he wouldn’t dare to make all of them get banned from here, so he sticks for killing Baekhyun mentally, maybe later on the roof of their dorm.

“Told ya you would suffocate considering the amount of unchewed meat you shoved down your face,” Jongdae laughs and Chanyeol snickers with him, clapping his hands together.

“Thanks for the reminder, hyung,” Sehun says in reply. Kyungsoo is just smiling at him, warm, kind, a heart-shaped smile Sehun could never erase from his memories, because the imprint would be always there. This, he determines, would he like to remember later, and not Jongdae’s unfunny jokes.

---

Staying in means wearing no clothes whatsoever while the others are out at their favourite bowling place. Sehun likes to call it ‘Hours’ with a capital H, indicating that it’s his very own, very special time he gets to spend by himself and himself only. Sometimes he likes to go out with the band, just to see the wrinkles of worry dissolve from Joonmyeon’s otherwise wrinkless face. They would go out and play games, mainly bowling, with Jongdae shouting over both Baekhyun’s and Chanyeol’s voice as Yixing sits behind them, snickering about something Joonmyeon just said to the others that has no effect on the shouting whatsoever. Jongin would lounge in one of the seats, popcorn all over his shirt, his hands, his mouth. And Kyungsoo – Kyungsoo would stand beside them, hands crossed on his chest, lips stretching far out into a wide smile at the others. Sehun does not know if he’s ready for yet another emotionally tumultuous day with either the Beagle-line or Kyungsoo, so he chooses to stay in, telling Minseok that it’s only because of tiredness.

Partly it’s true. He’s genuinely tired from all the photoshoots and commercials and concerts and music programs, but he’s also tired from a completely different aspect, something he only could ever share briefly with Baekhyun. Good old Baekhyun… if only he could lift the weight off Sehun’s chest so Sehun could breathe properly again and not with restrain or guilt or pain or tears.

Sehun doesn’t know how long he can stand this—this feeling, this sense of overwhelming thoughts, the feeling of not being good enough, of not being good of anything, of not being… Of not being enough. Simply. Truly. At all. Not for the band. Not for his parents. Not for the world. Not for Kyungsoo.

Is there a way to wipe my head clear of these thoughts?, he thinks to himself as he rolls over in bed to his other side. Or is he stuck in this blue nothingness forever with little to nothing to hold onto; not a single joy in life. Even food doesn’t taste the same as back then, back when he experienced happiness with the same intensity as he experiences these blue days of fog and self-loathing and question marks inside his head. There is, a possible way out, of course, is what he thinks the next minute, but the sadness comes back, kicking the front door to his heart open and leaving it torn into pieces without any kind of consolation; is that how it’s going to be always? For eternity? How does a person feel so low about themselves for this long – for months, not only a few weeks, but months, long months, on end and on end an on end. Without stopping. No rest to the sad heart. No rest to the sad mind, either.

He sits up straight, stares out the window. Summer is ending soon, trees that have been blossoming in green slowly turning into a harsh palette of browns and oranges. Everything around Sehun changes, but Sehun’s confusing feelings stay the same, the same as ever. Undiscernible. Hurting. As if someone took a knife and put it between Sehun’s ribs right through his skin and meat to the middle of his heart and left it bleeding. Nothing changes there.

Maybe it’s really all just tiredness. Work has been cruel, to be honest, this past year, especially on his body. He knows he’s losing weight. And he also knows it’s not the main reason.

It’s… and it’s hard to even think to himself, let alone to say it out loud, it’s because of Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo the beautiful, brave, the amazing, the muscular, the toned, the one with The Lips. The Voice. With everything Sehun doesn’t have. But what Sehun doesn’t especially have is, and what he’ll never could possess has nothing to do with how Kyungsoo looks. Or how Kyungsoo sings. Because those things can be changed; those things can be learned. What can’t be learned is how to have someone who’s heart is not reserved for you. Who’s not thinking of you the same way as you think of them. Who can’t, no matter how hard he tries, reciprocate those feelings for you. Because a person is a person; and not a thing to learn, or to change. A person has a mind of their own. And Sehun can’t possibly have that. Can’t have Kyungsoo when Kyungsoo doesn’t want him.

He glances outside then. There’s a tree, a single tree in the street, right at the front of their apartment block. Birds usually sit there and chirp all day long if the weather is nice enough. The sun is shining today, but there are no birds on the tree. Not one. It makes Sehun feel even worse, as if the simple knowing that today he is alone because he’s unable to engage in normal human contact on any levels wasn’t enough.

Maybe if he stared at the tree enough, some birds would come fly there and sit and chirp. But Sehun is no magician; he can’t make things go the way he wants. He can’t cast spells.

The front door is unlocked. Sehun hears it clicking open. He takes a look at the clock; it’s only half past six. The guys usually come home around one a.m., slightly drunk, irritably loud. It’s still too early for that.

He cranes his neck to take a peak through the open door – he’s almost scared how fast he recognises the footsteps coming in through the hall. Sehun just simply cannot know it by the sounds. Kyungsoo sticks his head in then, leans against the frame of the door. “Hey. Joonmyeon said you’d be home.”

“I am,” is what Sehun answers. He doesn’t know what else to say.

“Didn’t want to leave you all alone here, by yourself,” Kyungsoo says, closes the door behind him. It closes obnoxiously loud. “Can I sit with you?”

“Sure,” Sehun says, trying really hard to sound nonchalant, or at least not as wrecked as he feels. Kyungsoo sits next to him, clothed thighs slightly brushing up against Sehun’s naked ones. Sehun is now awfully aware of his own nakedness; he only has his super high gymshorts on, the bright blue one that Chanyeol always mocks him for having. He suddenly realises he feels exposed and it makes him shrink away from Kyungsoo, if even only by a few millimetres. Some sort of awkward silence takes a seat in between them, the kind that makes you fidget restlessly. Sehun often doesn’t know what to say; neither does Kyungsoo – but even in that aspect, there’s a gap between them; a gap in which Sehun is on one end, being the one who doesn’t know what to say – and Kyungsoo on the other, who knows what to, yet doesn’t know how. Sehun wishes he’d know what to, but wouldn’t be able to say – even in that way Kyungsoo is someone he looks up to. It’s hard. It’s hard to know your flaws and live with them, especially if those flaws are what restrain you from living your life to the fullest. And Sehun always wants the best. Always wants things he doesn’t have. What he cannot have.

“Sehun-ah, don’t frown this much,” Kyungsoo says then, makes Sehun whip his head towards him. Kyungsoo is dressed in full black, and he looks sleek, breathtaking even. How Sehun wishes he could peel away the black layers and reach beneath Kyungsoo’s skin to take a grip at his heart the same way Kyungsoo is squeezing Sehun’s right now. How he wishes he could do that, but he can’t, and shouldn’t, because Kyungsoo is his friend, brother, bandmate, ex-roommate… everything and nothing to him all at once.

Kyungsoo too, is looking at him right now, all deep brown eyes and dark eyebrows knocking together in a questionable way, like he’s thinking too hard about something.

“What?” Sehun asks. It comes out weak and breathless. He pulls his knees up higher on the bed so he can lay a hand around them, as if hiding from Kyungsoo, even though he very well knows he can’t.

“Wow, I just,” Kyungsoo says, looking down and away, pushing a hand through his hair. It’s cut short and even, laying perfectly onto his sun-kissed bronze skin on the sides. “I just realised something. Something I shouldn’t exactly be feeling… and yet…”

Deep breath and exhale. All the things Sehun thought he wanted to say are completely gone. In fact, all of his thoughts are far away. He says, with struggle, “What did you just realise, hyung?”

There’s a drop of sweat rolling down Kyungsoo’s nape, straight from his hairline disappearing into his loose black t-shirt. Summer has come to an end, as had Sehun’s thoughts just moments ago, and here he is now, following the trail Kyungsoo’s sweat makes all the way down his neck. It’s tempting to reach out and collect it with his fingers, brushing away the wetness and leaving traces of a tender touch on Kyungsoo’s skin.

“Something I don’t exactly understand… Nor am sure about,” Kyungsoo says. There is no trembling in his voice, no hesitance. He’s saying it like it’s a fact, like it’s easy to talk about such things, when Sehun perfectly knows it’s not Kyungsoo’s best feature. “And I’m not exactly sure about how could this thing… my realisation… affect you.”

Sehun’s heart beats like crazy. “Well… if you just told me, hyung… Maybe we could see the outcome.”

Kyungsoo turns quiet awhile. His hand rests on his thighs. Not quite sure how to continue, Sehun takes a glance at Kyungsoo, head hanging low as if he doesn’t dare to really look at him. All he sees is just a soft nervous tremble that radiates off Kyungsoo now, and it makes Sehun uneasy, equally nervous. He knows this something that could either break them or mend them together, but he doesn’t know how to say it out loud.

He wants to say something, or do something, maybe just a nudge of a knee or a slight touch of an index finger -- but before he knows, the moment is gone, and Kyungsoo is on the other side of the room, gingerly clasping at the doorframe.

“I’m... I’m sorry Sehun-ah. Forget it. I am just tired.”

And with that, he’s out the door, leaving Sehun with all this inner turmoil and indecisiveness alone. He looks at his hands. The sweat has gone cold on his palms.

---

Weeks pass with promotions and dance practices and interviews, but all he thinks about is the last month - Kyungsoo has been very nice to him lately, and that is something Sehun can’t quite put his finger on. Not like Kyungsoo isn’t nice on a daily basis; he is a man with a great sense of politeness and good manners, characteristics that resolve in everybody loving Kyungsoo. What is there not to love? Sehun likes to think he is just as polite as Kyungsoo is, but who is he trying to fool? The only thing they truly share is their quietness – nothing else. Sehun is nothing like Kyungsoo. Kyungsoo is nothing like Sehun, and Sehun wonders if that palpable difference between them could dissolve one day.

[sehun keeps wondering about kyungsoo; the days go just like that. this is the era of “its ok its love” and sehun’s feelings for kyungsoo deepens as time goes farther. kyungsoo gets more affectionate towards sehun while sehun wonders if that is all that is; two good friends, holding hands sometimes and being affectionate with each other but every time kyungsoo puts his hands on his waist his heart beats faster, harder, irregular. sehun knows somethings’ changing, and he keeps wondering about his worth, about his abilities or lack thereof. kyungsoo is always there for him to assure him of his worth, to make him feel not so empty inside. sehun starts to wonder about what you want and what you have; if the two can align. can you get what you want, or you should get what you need? whats the difference between want and need? what if we could never get what we truly want or need? we cant have everything sehun knows, but he keeps wanting kyungsoo until the very day that he realises he really, really, really does want it. he doesn’t know how he wants kyungsoo, all he knows is kyungsoo’s presence makes him feel tingly and good and happy. meanwhile sehun realises kyungsoo is just as defenseless and self concious as he is, and they develop a very close friendship, a friendship that’s not yet enough for sehun. one time, around the promotions of another winter lovesong exo puts out regularly, on a slightly drunken night of winning a music program, sehun kisses kyungsoo and they start an affair of purely physical love. sehun is in too deep, even when he knows he wants emotional love as well as physical. kyungsoo is affectionate to him but he is affectionate to the other members as well which leaves sehun all sad, and begins to wonder about wanting and having. whats the endgame I don’t know yet, but I know the last words will be this: when he leaves, he leaves the door open.

ok so the physical side of love continues until sehun cant take it anymore; after wondering about months and months of what this means to him, he goes to ask kyungsoo about it. kyungsoo is surprisingly calm during the talk, explaining to sehun that he too, as sehun could notice, wants the affectionate closeness but not the emotions; hes not in love with sehun nor will he ever be; he doesn’t want anything more than there is. sehun is, at first, devastated, but later realises that that’s how life is; you truly can’t always get you what you want. after he accepted the fact that kyungsoo doesn’t want anything else, he feels thankful for kyungsoo of showing him so many things; of teaching him to love himself through the physical and emotional acts; to teaching him the difference between need and want indirectly. once sehun realises all these things, they stay good and close friends, although the memories of being more than that but not quite anything still mars sehun’s mind. a year later in a café he meets a boy with auburn hair, someone who he can connect with. in the end, sehun is happy and in love and is secure with himself, continuing his time with exo and being best friends with kyungsoo. a bittersweet ending!]

#sesoo #hunsoo #sedo #kyungsoo #sehun #d.o.#exo #fic #shortfic #bold-lettered #what a beautiful time it was to be alive #such an era #such boys #such love

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elles-choices · 6 years ago

Text

Part 4: Say You Won’t Let Go (TRR AU, Liam x MC)

Pairing: Liam x MC (Catherine)

Words Count: about 2900

A/N: This story contains reference to violence -- readers discretion advised! The case portrayed in this story is based on a real case - some details were modified. Children, please, look away.

PS: For part 1-3 please look below :)

Summary: Catherine Spencer returns to New York after her fall from grace in Cordonia. She left the love of her life behind and all the dreams she had dared to dream. Now she has to pick up the pieces and move on but her past has a way of finding her.

Disclaimer: All characters belong to Choices by Pixel Berry

----------------------

„When you looked over your shoulder

For a minute, I forget that I'm older

I wanna dance with you right now

Oh, and you look as beautiful as ever

And I swear that everyday'll get better

You make me feel this way somehow

I'm so in love with you

And I hope you know

Darling your love is more than worth its weight in gold

We've come so far my dear

Look how we've grown

And I wanna stay with you until we're grey and old

Just say you won't let go“, Say you won’t let go, James Arthur

------------------------

Catherine stands on the stage of the University of Cordonia’s auditorium, in front of a crowd of students, visitors and faculty members. She is nervous, not because of the people in front of her but because she is back to his country and it reminds her of everything she has tried to forget.

After a round of applause, she walks up to the microphone and starts her speech:

„The story I came to tell you today is one of the most harrowing stories I have ever encountered in my years as a lawyer. Our client was only 19 years old when war broke out and a religious extremist terror group took over her village. She, a university student just like most of you here, was forced to watch all of the men in her community, including her father and brothers, be marched off to their death — 600 of them being killed in one single day. Her mother was killed together with other older women and disposed in a mass grave. Our client… she was only 19 when she was traded from one terrorist to another, forced to make herself pretty every time before she was raped — sometimes, raped until unconsciousness by a group of men. She was beaten and burned with cigarets.. She was one of 8000 women and children, some of them as young as 11, taken by this group to be sold in a sex slave market, sometimes for as little as $20.

These perpetrators bragged online about killing the men, conquering the women and wiping their religion from this world. Make no mistake, what I am describing you today is genocide — and it is still ongoing. Yet, only a handful of these men have been prosecuted in a court of law for crimes committed against this religious minority. And with every day, evidences are being lost and destroyed and witnesses are being dispersed or disappearing.

States are failing to punish and condemn these crimes whilst girls are having their body sold and used as battlefields. Yes, military actions are being taken but this is only part of the response. You can’t kill an ideology with bombs. But you can expose their crimes, their brutality and corruption through trials — trials that are in line with our values and our standards. The survivors of these crimes are seeking justice and the opportunity to face their abusers in an international court and we cannot deny them that (…)“

—————

After a couple of hours of discussing this case with law professors and answering a few questions from the public, the session comes to an end. Catherine stands in the hallway talking to her colleague and a member of the faculty, when she hears a familiar voice calling her name, „Spencer!“.

She turns around to find Drake, Hana and Maxwell standing a few feet away. She excuses herself and with a big smile on her face she walks up to them, hugging each one of them warmly, „I can’t believe you guys came!“, she says surprised.

„Are you kidding? We couldn’t wait to see you, Katie. And now look at you being a badass lawyer! And this story… ohhhh boy, this is sooo sad…“, he pauses for a few seconds, „But, hey, I am so happy that you are here. Is it too soon to say that we should celebrate your return to Cordonia with a bash!?“, Maxwell looks at the others showing his excitement of seeing his friend after so many years. Everybody laughs but Drake looks at him making an annoyed face.

Hana takes Catherine’s hand and squeezes it, saying: „We tried to call you a few days ago but I guess you changed your number again. Hopefully, you can stay with us for the weekend“.

Catherine smiles, „I got a new number a few months ago. I’m sorry, I guess I forgot to send you the text“, she picks up a business card from her bag and gives it to Hana, „Here you go and my email is in there too, just in case you guys want to get in touch“. She then looks at Maxwell and says: „About this bash thing… sadly, I am flying back in the evening. But we could spend sometime together until I have to leave“, she smiles, looking forward to catching up with them.

Drake clears his throat, „Hmm, Liam was here too, Spencer. He left a few minutes ago to take care of a few things“. When she hears his name she feels her heart sinking into the pit of her stomach. „But he left an invitation for you to join him at the palace. There is a car waiting for you outside…“.

Catherine takes a deep breath, „I don’t know if this is a good idea, Drake… Also, I am not really in the mood to cross Madeleine’s path and to deal with old drama“.

„Madeleine won’t be a problem, I guarantee you. We won’t force you to go, but Spencer, you guys should talk somethings out and you know that“, Drake says it, giving her a serious look. It took her some convincing, but Catherine finally decides to go see Liam at the palace.

After exchanging a few words with her friends, she leaves the building and heads to the car. As she enters it, she sees a bouquet of red roses with a small card lying on the seat next to her. She looks at it and smiles, recognizing Liam’s handwriting:

„Dear Catherine,

I can’t wait to see you… it’s been far too long.

Love,

Liam“

She knows, she shouldn’t feel like this but she has butterflies in her stomach. She looks out of the window nervous, knowing that she is minutes away from seeing him after such a long time. It is incredible that he still makes her feel this way… incredible and scary. He is right, it’s been far too long, but after their last talk, she hoped for a long time that they would never cross paths again.

—————

4 years ago…

Catherine stands in the doorway and looks at Liam sitting at the table, covering his eyes with his hands.

„So, that’s it? You are going to marry her… did you came here for what? Get my blessing?“, Catherine asks angrily.

„Don’t say that, Katie. It’s not like I have a choice… I am begging you to come with me. I can’t do this without you“, he looks at her, tears streaming down his face.

„I don’t get it, Liam. Why can’t you just call off the wedding? Instead, you want me to hold your hand whilst you are getting married to her?“, she shakes her head and starts crying.

He stands up and walks over to her but before he can hold her in his arms, she says firmly: „Get out!“, she looks into his eyes „If you are going to marry her, you should leave now… there is nothing to be said anymore!“. He stands there, looking at her for a minute before walking out of the living room. There is so much he would like to tell her now, but she would not listen to him. He opens the front door and looks back to see her one last time. She turns to him and says: „If you go through with this, don’t you dare come back for me!“, he sinks his head and turns away from her, leaving the shards of their love scattered over Catherine’s apartment. Catherine falls to the floor, tears bursting forth like water from a dam and she knows, this is the end.

—————

The black Mercedes stops in front of the palace and Catherine is greeted by Bastien, who asks her to follow him into a path she knows too well. They are heading to the maze and Catherine can’t help feeling some mixed feelings about it. This place brought her so much happiness but it also caused her so much pain. A few feet away from the center of the maze, Bastien asks to take care of the flowers for her, telling her to go ahead.

Catherine walks slowly, feeling as if her heart was going to burst. She takes a few deep breaths before she reaches the center. Looking over, she sees Liam pacing around, as nervous as she is and she smiles — he looks just the same, as if nothing had changed.

Suddenly their eyes meet. He sees her in her black sleeveless mid dress, her blond hair kept in a ponytail and he feels his heart skipping a beat. To him, she is the most beautiful thing he has ever seen and having her finally there, in front of him, woke up something in him that he thought was gone. „Catherine…“, he walks up to her with a big smile on his face, „I can’t believe you came…“, he embraces her.

„Hi Liam, it is really nice to see you“, she says a little unsure of how to react. He looks at her again, takes her hand and brings her to under a tree, where there is a blanket with a picnic basket and some cushions on it, „Wow, it feels kind of surreal to be back here with you“, she smiles and they sit on the blanket.

„I know… you look stunning as always, it feels as if time stood still“, he takes her hand and brushes his thumb over her knuckles. He stares at her smiling for a few seconds not believing she is there with him.

Catherine blushes and looks away for a moment, saying under her breath, „And yet four years have gone by…“, there is a sadness in her voice.

„Four years, two months and 23 days…“, he whispers, kissing her hand and causing Catherine to wonder how he could know this so precisely. After a short moment of silence, he opens the basket, saying: „I took the liberty to choose an American dish for us… I hope you still love Sloppy Joes!?“, she laughs in disbelief that he remembered the time they spent in New York together before he left to the engagement tour — she actually taught him how to make her mother’s recipe. He hands her a plate and napkins. „So, tell me more about your life. You are doing an impressive job and I’m so proud of you!“, he says smiling at her.

„Thank you, but I’m only doing my job and I’m not doing this alone, it is a team work and I am really grateful for being able to be a part of it. As you can imagine, my life has been busy. I am glad I have a few days off coming up, before the craziness starts again…“, she takes a bite and says: „Ohh, this is really good! Compliments to the chef…“, he smiles and offer her something to drink.

„I’m glad you like it, I spent the evening cooking this“, he laughs thinking about how the kitchen looked liked afterwards.

Catherine looks at him in disbelief, „What? You made these?“, she laughs „I guess I have seen everything now… and for the looks of it, the palace is still standing, so congratulations!“

Liam laughs, „Well, I cook it every now and then. Drake loves it and, well… there are a lot of good memories attached to it.“. She smiles at him and he says: „But apart from work, what have you been up to? Are you… are you seeing someone?“, he looks at her hand, blushing and shaking his head „I am sorry, I used to be good at this kind of conversations, but I haven’t put it into praxis in a while“.

Catherine giggles, thinking his reaction is adorable, „No, I’m not seeing anyone. I haven’t had a relationship since… since I broke off my engagement a year ago. I just don’t have the time for a relationship right now“, she takes a sip of her drink.

„Ohh, I see…“, he smiles discreetly „I heard about your engagement… I’m sorry it didn’t work out“, he says looking at her.

„Nope, you are not really sorry, are you?“, she laughs „But how did you know? Did Hana tell you?“, Liam’s face falls as he explains:

„When I divorced Madeleine, 15 months ago after we found Tariq and he finally cleared your name, I went to New York. I wanted to talk to you… I couldn’t wait to see you and tell you the news. Bastien found your new address, but he also found out that you had a fiance. I wanted to tell you the news so bad… but when I saw you with him, I just couldn’t… you seemed happy, so happy with him and I felt as if I would be intruding in your life again“, he sighs, staring ahead. „I was happy for you but it killed me inside that I wasn’t the one by your side and it was all my fault. I shouldn’t have married Madeleine… I should have broke it off and dealt with the consequences. I have regretted my choice from the moment I said ‚I do‘ until today“, he takes a deep breath, „And now having you here, I can’t help but imagining what could have been. All I know is that not a day went by that I didn’t miss you, Katie“, he says lowering his face.

Catherine can’t believe he went back to New York to see her. They both have been through so much but she knows how difficult it might have been for him to let her go. She gets closer to him and leans her head on his shoulders „I knew about Tariq, Hana told me everything, but I never knew you got divorced…“. He puts one arm around her waist and she continues, „What happened that day in my apartment in New York really hurt me, Liam. But I know that, in a very twisted way, you were trying to be responsible and to be the best King for your country… you put your duty before your feelings, hurting both of us“, he pulls her closer to him and kisses her hair.

„I really hope you can forgive me one day, Katie. I don’t deserve it… I really don’t but I never stopped loving you…“, he looks at her deep blue eyes „Do you still feel anything for me?“, he takes her hand and kisses it. He is nervous, unsure if he can take the answer.

Catherine looks away for a few seconds, then back at him „I forgave you years ago, Liam. But my life is just chaos right now, I don’t have the time to put the effort into a relationship… if this is what you want to know“, she looks away again, spending some minutes in silence. She stands up, she seems distant as if some old walls have come up again, „Anyway, thank you for the walk down memory lane, but I really should get going. I have a flight to catch in a few hours and I still have a few things to do“.

Liam stands up as well and locks his arms around her, pulling her against him, „You didn’t answer my question… do you still have feelings for me?“, he rests his forehead against hers.

„Do I really have to say this?”, she sees his baby blue eyes pleading for an answer, “Okay… I… I never stopped loving you either, Liam. But it doesn’t change the fact that I don’t have the time for this. There is no more you and me, this is part of the past now and we have to leave it there“, she puts her hands on his chest, pushing him gently away.

Liam closes his eyes feeling the pain of her words and whispers, „Are you happy? Because I have been miserable… I would do anything for you, anything you want from me just for one chance of a happy life with you, Katie“, he looks deep in her eyes „You say you don’t have time for this, then let me do the work this time, Catherine… let me be the one to put the effort and fight for this, the way you fought for me… please. I am not the Liam that left you alone in that apartment anymore, I want to show you that“.

Catherine shakes her head slightly, „I don’t know if I wanna go there, Liam. I don’t wanna go through a pain like that ever again… I don’t know if I can survive this one more time“, she turns around slowly but he lightly grabs her hand and gently pulls her towards him into a passionate kiss. Her eyes widened as she felt his lips colide with hers but she soon relaxes into his arms, wrapping her hands around his neck and pushing him harder against her. The kiss lasted moments but they found themselves breathless as they parted. She gazed at Liam’s face and he knew she felt it too — the four years have not erased one bit of their love and passion for each other.

„Spend your time off with me… we can go somewhere only the two of us. And if you still think it won’t work, I’ll accept it… but please, let me try!“, he kisses her forehead.

She cups his face, looking into his eyes, „I promise I will think about it, Liam…“, that was all she could tell him for now. She rises up on her tip toes and gives Liam a peck on the cheek, slowly brushing her hands on his muscular chest. He smiles hopeful and watches her making her way to the car.

(To be continued…)

For more chapters go to my MASTERLIST in my bio.

—————————–

The Royal Romance Liam x MC Tag

@gardeningourmet @bella-ca @coldcollectornight08 @elbenmond @marywrites-things @furiousherringoperatortoad @hopefulmoonobject @annekebbphotography @give-me-ernest-sinclaire @topsyturvy-dream @sharon6713 @classychoicesaworld @3pawandme @fanfictionrecommendations-com @cordoniaqueensworld @carabeth @boujeechoices @thatspicegirlssong @jared2612 @umccall71

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unactive-1d · 6 years ago

Text

my favourite fics in ao3

Ziam

Ninety-Eight Percent

“This is the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” Niall chokes out, actual tears welling in his eyes. Liam hates him. A lot.

“This website is bullshit,” Liam grumbles. “Niall this can’t be real. How am I ninety-eight percent compatible with Louis Tomlinson?”

In which Louis is Liam's soulmate and Liam is really not amused.

Ziam Twitcam

The fans want some real life Ziam action

As He Moves

Zayn thought he wanted to know where Liam worked. Apparently he thought wrong.

Only Place I Call Home

Liam works at a coffee shop; Zayn is a homeless street performer who plays just outside the shop. Sometimes Liam brings Zayn coffee and donuts and in exchange Zayn sings for him.

Wrong Side of Love

Zayn and Liam wake up in each other's bodies.

Burning Away From Inside

They're a little too dysfunctional to be considered superheroes, but they do their best.

Connected

Fed up with Zayn and Liam skirting around how they feel about each other, the rest of the band devise a plan to get them to own up to their feelings.

(Or, Zayn and Liam are oblivious and annoying, the rest of the band can't handle it anymore, and handcuffs were probably not intended to be used this way.)

What We Become

“Nervous?”

“No.”

“It’s okay if you are,” Harry says seriously. “I mean, I know I would be. Like, if there was ever a date that was destined to go bad, it’s probably this one. Werewolf goes on date with the son of a werewolf hunter, who’s also training to be a werewolf hunter when he’s older, while another pack of werewolves are practically massacring the town, and no one has no idea how to stop them. It's not a question of what could go wrong. It's a question of what could possibly go right, and I'm willing to bet the answer to that is nothing."

Floating On The Water

Liam just wants to get through his last summer working at Malik Resort before University without incident. Of course, life is never that easy, and he ends up getting roped into giving the bosses son, Zayn, swimming lessons. That wouldn't be so bad, if Zayn didn't happen to hate him so much.

Tunnel Vision

In which Zayn is an award-winning popstar with a knack for getting himself in trouble, and Liam is the bodyguard he didn’t want to hire who has a few problems with staying professional.

Not Happening

Zayn and Liam are roommates. They hate each other. (Most of the time.)

Lover Dearest

"First rule, babe," Zayn says, leaning down. His lips slide over Liam's jaw, barely there, just a soft pressure, fleeting and gone as soon as it came. "Never trust a vampire."

He's grinning as he climbs off Liam, heading for the door. Liam watches him go, thinking that he's wrong. The first rule should be to not fall in love with one.

Larry

Learning to Eat

Celebrity chef Louis Tomlinson has a problem. He’s opening his first restaurant in 9 weeks, and he has yet to hire a pastry chef- apparently people think he’s ‘standoffish’ and ‘rude’ and ‘quick to temper’. Whatever. He ends up saddled with an annoying, happy-go lucky rookie who also happens to be obnoxiously good looking. His tv presenter and pop star best friends only add to the drama, and for fucks sake would everyone please stop quoting Julia Child?!

Kitchen AU where Harry helps Louis re-learn how to eat. (METAPHORICALLY)

we are honey and the bee

It isn’t his fault though, it is entirely the fault of whichever gods thought it would be a good idea to taunt Louis by dangling a curly haired boy in front of him with a mouth that can’t possibly be as soft as it looks, a mouth that requires further inspection with Louis’ own mouth. Unfortunately, Louis absolutely cannot do that, because it would go against all rules and guidelines in the Golden Handbook of Nanny and Employee Etiquette that he’s pretty sure exists.

au where harry plays rugby at uni, louis needs to hire a nanny, and life is one big cliche.

Turning From Praise (Punk!Harry Christian!Louis)

Louis has had a strict Christian upbringing that he never realized he resented until he meets Harry Styles, a boy who lives to rebel and doesn’t give a damn what anyone else thinks. But the better he gets to know Harry, the more he begins to realize that maybe Harry does care. And maybe “the children who God forgot” are closer to God than the devout will ever be.

if you need a loving hand

Harry and Louis are just two friends who bought a coffee shop and went into business together. They definitely probably do not have feelings for each other.

Follow Me Down This Time

Harry first noticed Louis in his second term at Hogwarts, and despite three years of inventing ways to stumble across Louis, he's never managed to actually work up the courage to speak to him. Also known as, self-indulgent Hogwarts AU, because every fandom needs Hogwarts AUs.

if you'll be my star, i'll be your sky

Louis smiles in the smuggest, most infuriating way, like he knows every thought filtering through Harry’s mind. He probably does.

“I thought you were a student, yeah,” Louis says, voice quieter now, leaving Harry to lean over the baluster somewhat to hear. “But I hoped you weren't.”

(or, Harry Potter AU where Harry takes a teaching post at Hogwarts and gets a little more than he expected when he meets the fit Transfiguration professor, Louis, who looks oddly familiar... Featuring Messrs. Horan, Malik, and Payne as well, along with some familiar faces from the HPverse)

At Least We're Breathing

(Just another mental institution fic!)

Fairly quickly, it becomes obvious to Harry why almost all of them are there; Liam can't control how much he eats-and then can't keep it down-. Niall doesn't talk, Harry himself has tried to end his own life, and Zayn isn't always...Zayn.

Then there's Louis, who no one really knows what he's in for, and Harry isn't even sure he belongs, but maybe he's glad he's there anyway.

Take A Bite Outta Me

Louis truly resents the implication that he is basically Harry’s own version of Bella goddamn Swan, because seriously, no. Just no. But the issue is that even this stupid Meyeresque revelation has done absolutely nothing to dampen his attraction to this weirdly charming vampire man who dresses in 8000 pound coats and hangs around in dilapidated buildings with his merry band of ethical bloodsuckers.

Louis is a slightly inept vampire hunter. Harry is a slightly unique vampire. They meet

Lego House

Louis didn't know what to think when he woke up with a needle in his arm and an unconscious man across the room. He didn't know what to think when he could hear everything. He didn't know what to think when he picked up four boys on his way out. Maybe, just maybe, they could get away.

or where Louis has heightened senses, Harry is basically a shape shifter, Liam can manipulate the air, Zayn can influence people's emotions, and Niall has healing powers. And crazy stuff happens as they wander through the woods.

Title is "Lego House" by Ed Sheeran

Two To Rule

Prince Louis is an intellectual interested in philosophy and human interaction; Prince Harry feeds off of power and wealth because it's all he's been raised to yearn for. Their arranged marriage will be the downfall of them both.

In Dreams

AU. When Harry moves to a new city, his new flat come with a number of sweet, anonymous gifts and surprises that brighten his days. Could it be a friendly ghost? Another friendly presence in his new building is his tattooed neighbor, Louis, who seems determined to put a smile back on his face.

yellow lamps on blackened skies

Louis is the best baker in his apartment building until his new neighbour shows up and threatens his position (and his dignity). It turns out that actually, he might have a competitive streak.

Like Master, Like Pet

In which Louis's cat apparently wants to date Harry's frog, intense studying of eyebrows is a thing, pillows can turn into flamingos, and a lot of really lame-ass jokes are made.

feel the chemicals burn in my bloodstream

“Alright, alright. No need to bite,” Harry says, holding his hands above his head in a general gesture of surrender.

Louis quirks an eyebrow and his foot nudges Harry’s as he moves to sit straight. “If that’s what you think biting is, you’ve got another thing coming, Styles.”

Harry blinks at him before he feels his face flush and inside the marrows of his bones there’s pulses of heat, pulses of fire spreading through him. “Is that a threat, your Highness?”

“That’s a promise,” Louis answers just as the car halts to a stop. “One I intend to keep.”

Harry is a journalist with a lot of secrets and Louis is the future king of the United Kingdom; they live together for 60 days.

With the Rising Sun

This idea bloomed after seeing a post of 19-year-old Harry with a picture of younger Louis and I just really wanted to make something where Harry was older.

Louis had been living in NYC for two years now while studying at NYU, and was probably the least social 21-year-old ever. Somehow he got roped into his sister's brilliant idea of getting her college best friend to help him branch out and meet people. Only there was one problem — Harry Styles is like the hottest thing on two legs and Louis' not ready to see a much older version of the boy who filled his fantasies as a teenager.

the value of this moment lives in metaphor

Louis and Harry are best friends and absolutely nothing more. It’s a bit strange that, suddenly, everyone thinks they’re dating.

Or the one where they’re all teachers at a high school and students are more invested in their lives than normally expected.

Baby Heaven's in your Eyes

They couldn’t be more different if they tried. Louis Tomlinson is 17 years old and in his last year of the most prestigious private school in Doncaster. If there’s one thing that completely annoys him, it’s that there is a poor community college right across the street.

Harry Styles is 19 years old, and (once again) in his last year of college. He goes to community college in Doncaster. He never shows up to classes and if he actually bothers to, he’s either high or drunk; sometimes both. His skin is littered with tattoos and if there’s one thing he absolutely hates, it’s the snobby students attending the private school right across from his.

Or a sixth form!AU where Harry is the fucked up bad boy with too many problems, Louis is the perfect rich boy with too much money and their schools are right across from each other. They meet at a party and that’s the last (and maybe the only) thing they need.

put the stars in our eyes

Louis goes to bed having ordered a nineteen year-old husband.

Louis is set to inherit the family farm after the death of his father, but after finding out that he needs to be married in order to do so, purchasing a nineteen year-old, mail-order husband named Harry Styles seems to be the easiest answer.

Zouis

Bruised

Louis accidentally gives Zayn a black eye and it sets off the weirdest year of his life. Set in New Jersey.

Chéri

growing up AU: In which Louis lives far away, but visits every winter; and Zayn falls just a bit more in love each year.

like any real love it's ever-changing

"Do you think if I repeat 'this isn't happening' for long enough it'll make it true?" Louis asks.

The cat—Zayn—moves its tail. Louis doesn't know what that means.

"I have no idea what that means," Louis says.

Zayn turns into a cat. Louis figures some things out.

if not the happiest, surely the luckiest

AU. reform boarding school for the obscenely wealthy, essentially. zayn is new and louis is hot shit.

high hopes

i know it's crazy to believe in silly things, but it's not that easy

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ikesenlemonadestandstories · 6 years ago

Text

Going Overboard

Alright, so I have a handful of requests that I’m still working on (doing them in the order that they arrived) but I also hammered out this idea with @little-mini-me-world for another short story after watching too much of the Hallmark channel, just before they started coming in and I’m happy to announce I finally got it down on paper...er...the computer??

Keep on keeping on Fam! You guys are the butter to my bread!

All the other Ikésen works can be found here on my Master List. Read at your leisure. I’m a bit stuck on ‘Retrograde Spell’ so i’m just kind of hanging onto it until I get smacked with more inspo...probably at the gym...that’s usually where I’m at when ideas like that pop up.

Since it’s a story and because I’m rambling so much up here, I’m throwing it under the cut to keep clutter to a minimum...unless you’re on mobile...then you get to suffer and just scroll for 8000 years (^ . ^)v since I’ve not gotten that figure out yet...

[Masamune]

I hadn’t realized I couldn’t control my feelings for you until I saw you out of the corner of my eye, dressed to the nines in a matte navy dress that cut off right above the knees, it happened to have a gold zipper running up along the entire back of the dress and I wondered if anyone tonight would have the satisfaction of undoing you the way I used to.

Everything about it was perfect, just like you, hugging every curve just right, showcasing every single asset in such a modest and delicate way, I didn’t have words anymore. Your naturally curly hair had grown out and was tamed into waves for the occasion, gently cresting like the sea down your back. It was lighter than I remember it being, now the color of cherry soda instead of a deep fudge. Your skin was still a subtle olive that complimented your bright hazel eyes and your face and chest were dusted with freckles. While physically you were older, everything more refined and mature, your expressions still sparkled with the same familiar innocence I remembered fondly.

You were stunning, I knew you would be here, the bride was your best friend but I wasn’t exactly expecting to see you with...him. You were out on the floor dancing with Yukimura, when had that happened?

Damn...I stared at my cup wondering if Mitsuhide had managed to slip me alcohol when I wasn’t looking. That’s the only reason all of these wild unwanted thoughts would be coming to mind unchecked right?

Aside from one glaring dark smudge, all of my memories with you were bright. I remember the summer before our senior year of college when I met you...I had spent every day at that zoo with Hideyoshi. I was his wing-man, for weeks I had tried to help him get with his childhood friend Mai.

When the poor guy got friend-zoned back in high school, he dug himself into an even deeper grave, proclaiming himself her ‘big brother’ to try to get just a tad more attention without drawing her ire. I about lost my mind with laughter when he told me about his situation one night when he got super trashed at a party for Nobunaga. He hadn’t done anything to change their relationship for years but we were almost through college and he couldn’t just be her friend anymore, and he wanted my help.

You approached me on a day, that was way to warm to be anywhere outside, in the middle of August, literally whispering to me from a bush in one of the monkey’s exhibits.

“Pssst…” I looked around “no down here...in the bush.” what the hell. “Meet me by the door to the cheetah habitat in twenty minutes.”

“And what if I don’t?”

“Than Hideyoshi’s going to be stuck in the brother-zone for life.”

You were brilliant. That one meeting was all I needed to realize you were a force to be reckoned with, smart and creative and incredibly helpful when it came to maneuvering Hideyoshi and Mai’s relationship. To my dismay, everything we thought up worked and he no longer needed a wing-man, so I no longer needed to visit the zoo...

I found that when I didn’t have to come meet with you anymore I got restless. So I did what my gut was telling me to do. I stood out by the tiger habitat you frequented, waiting for you to come out. When you did, I kissed you, and to my absolute pleasure you kissed me back. Everything about us seemed to gel, it was cohesive, we were a well oiled machine, parts moving in tandem. We had plenty of different opinions about life but most of the time, all it did was fuel healthy debates and a chance for the other to grow into new ideas. You challenged me and I loved every second of it, but it all went to hell when you got to veterinary school, but that was my fault.

You were upset when I broke it off, but I never saw you cry...heard about it a lot from Ieyasu and Hideyoshi afterward though. I thought I was doing you a favor...setting you free so you didn’t have to worry about taking care of some cook while you were off traveling and learning. I wanted you to have your own adventure without someone to tie you down. Instead I would dedicate myself to being someone you could rely on and approach you again when I got there, but now that I was I didn’t know how. I had always just done what made me happy. When I was with you, I was happy when you were happy. I made a decision about your life based on what I thought would make you happiest...and knowing now that it hadn’t done that made it all the more hard to go say something tonight.

“Everything alright Masamune? You look really out of it.” Hideyoshi came over to where I was leaning against a pillar.

“Yea, think I had too much to drink…” He paled

“I thought you stopped drinking after the pillow incident with (YN)?”

“I did...and this should just be sparkling water, but I just feel kind of off.” He shot a glare at Mitsuhide who dropped his fork and raised his hands in the air shaking his head as if to say he hadn’t done anything...for once. Smirk or no smirk...I believed him, I wasn’t fuzzy enough to be drunk.

“If you don’t feel good, you should go up to your room and rest. Aren’t you heading out on that cruise tomorrow?”

“Yea, but how could I miss this moment. It took forever to get you and Mai together and now I finally get to see the fruits of our labor and all for what? So I can leave before the party's over. I don’t think so. Besides I’m getting on the same cruise as everyone else here.”

“Right but you’re getting on it for work. Also...you got us together, I wouldn’t be mad if you headed out early to get some sleep. I don’t necessarily want my cruise ship’s ‘celebrity chef’ sick while he’s making my food.”

I clapped him on the shoulder. For once I didn’t have enough energy to argue with him, something about tonight wasn’t sitting right in my stomach. Congratulating my friend and Mai I dipped out heading for my room, hoping I’d be able to sleep off this strange feeling.

[YN]

“Hells…” you murmured under your breath

“What?” your friends Sasuke and Yukimura leaned over stating in unison

“My ex is here and he looks abso-freaking-lutly gorgeous...do you think he did that on purpose?”

“Wait? Who? Masamune?” Yukimura questioned

“Yea...who else…? I haven’t dated anyone since…”

“He looks pretty normal to me. If you’re going to keep staring at him like a creep you may as well go say something.” Sasuke chimed in

“No, no I can’t. He broke up with me, then went off and became this big time chef...it’s clear I was just holding him back.” you laid your head on the place setting in front of you. “Why would he want anything to do with a vet?”

“For starters you’re not just a vet...and I’m not sure...but he’s been looking over here pretty frequently himself. You sure you don’t want to go say something.”

“Yes Yukimura...as punishment for asking so many times I’m making you dance with me until I feel better.”

“What? Why me? Sasuke is way better at that sort of thing!”

“Trust me I don’t want to get stepped on by your big clumsy ass anyway but Sasuke’s not here.” You laughed at the disbelief that crossed his face.

“Kid’s a damn ninja, I swear.” Yukimura hissed under his breath.

You twirled around as gracefully as you could manage together, in a way that didn’t quite match ‘Play That Song’ - by Train but you were having fun and only sort of thinking about Masamune so it didn’t matter.

It was about two in the morning and everyone had done a great job closing up that wedding reception. Yourself included. You were more than a little tipsy and with Yukimura taking care of an absolutely sauced Sasuke, you were left to your own devices.

Stumbling through the hallway heels and purse dangling from your hands you made your way back to your hotel room. Just a few more feet and you would be at your door...you could do this...you teetered...you couldn’t do this. Before your face could kiss, what you were sure was a terribly dirty hallway, a set of hands grabbed you by the waist. When you turned around you saw three Nobunaga’s laughing down at you.

“Have a good night fireball?”

“Mhhhhh….”

“Not sure that counts as a response but I’ll take it as a sign of life. Can I help you do your room?”

He may have pulled you up slowly but all the movement made you motion sick...you couldn’t answer him out of fear of throwing everything up, instead you flashed your room key, with the numbers ‘509’ written in black permanent marker across the front.

“Wrong floor princess…you’re on 15 right now.” the last thing you remember was the mirth in his eyes. Then it all went black.

#ikesen #ikemen sengoku #ikésen #ikémen sengoku #ikesen masamune #ikesen masamune x reader #going overboard series #my story #fan fic #cybird #modern au #part 1

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immanueldid · 7 years ago

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1, 12, 13, and 19 for William Mahoney because I dig his robo-eye

>8D *Claps hands together* William “Dozer” Mahoney, Tyrant Siege Terminator

1. Their voice:William is fortunately one of the others I can easily point to an actor from a specific scene and say “THAT ONE.” William is just THE KURGAN in that scene. ESPECIALLY the sexual harassment of nuns, but with at least 20 different cusses laced throughout. He has always been crass, id-ish and while the hypnotherapy and indoctrination worked sort of, it didn’t surpress everything. He still prefers low gothic to high, but tends to sneak in low gothic curses because HE JUST CAN’T STOP. Its FUN he thinks its FUNNY that NOBODY (*elbow nudges PG13 books and general stick up ass attitude of astartes*) SEEMS TO DO IT because in the slums of the Mordian hives where he was born he was all FUCK SHIT PISS DAMNIT by 8!as long as he was out of ear shot of his mom please do not tell her he called someone shit licker he will absolutely be grounded at that stage in his life

12. Their romantic life:He might have had one bad experience, but he’d had plenty of good ones too. Mostly serfs that were equally as bored and wanted to see if an Astartes could… you know. HE WAS HAPPY TO OBLIGE. But do YOU KNOW how HARD IT IS to get a BOOTY CALL on MEDRENGARD?Because Mahoney does. Mahoney really does. His longest dry spell was probably 8000 years or so and a metal hand does not an acceptable substitute make. He has since referred to his voluntary swap of righty a “CATASTROPHIC LACK OF FUCKIN’ FORESIGHT.” But despite his behavior and Mannerism could not bring himself to take one of the legion’s ‘flesh’ up to his quarters against her will. Seemed like a step too far and WHAT WAS THE POINT if she wasn’t going to enjoy it too. But he did get out long enough to meet somebody once.And by “meet” I mean he sort of did clonk a techpriestess over the head and drag her back home. He didn’t really realize the adept was a lady at the time, he just needed someone competent he could order around his workshop and bark at. She’d already replaced much of her face, voice and her breasts so he didn’t catch on for a while. By then they’d already started becoming friends, once she got over the LOUD and SHOUTING ALL THE TIME thing. But when he did he immediately started hitting on her the only way he knew how, extremely forward and clumsily. Desperate? Yes, but he’d also never worked with women before, not that he really had the chance during the Heresy. It made him patronizing. The they are inferior and therefor need protecting sort, because he did still like them on an incredibly shallow level. He didn’t really expect them to be smart because he was the smartest person he knew, he didn’t expect them to be tough because he was the toughest he knew, so on. The humans of the IVth legion had this bad habit of dying really quickly, so Dozer never really had the opportunity to connect with any. BUT HE DID NOW and she was brilliant. Aside from the whole…pet the machine, talk to the machine, the machine wants to smell nice today shit he never let her live that down, but she was easily on par with his peers (on par WITH HIM though he’d never admit it,) and displayed an openness to learn tech the Imperium had lost. She was reluctant but eventually offered the same. He let her do things the Mechanicum never would. He let her develop. He let her experiment. They started to bond, and she helped him maintain his arsenal of digital weapons and the Augments of his Cataphractii pattern armor. He tells her things he’s never told anyone, she listens to him. He says “[He] wanted to be an obliterator. [he] thought it was what [he] was meant for.” She tells him “[she’s] glad he isn’t.” And suddenly he doesn’t feel so incomplete. What’s happening this is incredible. Physically, it was incredibly one sided. She didn’t have those parts anymore, but he didn’t care. Anything she could offer was enough for him. He returned anything she gave tenfold in saucy bits of code or incredibly precise electrical surges. It wasn’t conventional, but it was great and he loved it. … He used the L word what the fuck was happening. It was a standard day, preparing for a campaign. She’s hooking him in to his ancient suit, she has him rev his chain fist to check his new arm, he’s spewing pyrotheum smoke out his exhaust and raring to go. He looks at her, “I’ll be back soon.” She smiles with what she has left, “I know.” Oh fuck, he realizes, I can’t live without her. She’s the most incredible person ever… just like me. This…as with all things, doesn’t end well. In the ‘modern day’ of my story (some 2000~ years later,) William is EXTREMELY open casual advances, but can’t seem to form that kind of emotional attachment to someone else. He’d like to move on. He’s sure she’d want him to move on. But he’s still an Iron Warrior, and their stubbornness is in their genes.

13. Their embarrassing memory from years ago:

Dozer, unlike Thanos or his pick-n-mix brothers in the warband will openly tell you about his past stupid shit. Though if you laugh at the wrong point in the story he’ll give you a hell of a glare. His favourite go to, because it irks other marines, is that when he was 10 years old, his uncle had bought him time with a hooker. Its impossible to get into the WHY without explaining the mysterious circumstances about William’s birth. On Mordian, even back then, there were the aristocratic elite that lived up near the top. More money than they knew what to do with. One such piece of shit, his father, decided that he wanted some insurance for later in life in the form of organ donors. Cloning was still a big no-no, but sperm donation? To willing surrogates? For a price? That sounded just legal enough. He didn’t mention of course, that he would be taking the children immediately to prevent little gang-bangers from knocking on his door and demanding money. That he would basically be locking the children in some basement and let them grow up in tubes because they were not people not really. Dozer’s mom was a ganger. She was top motherfuckin’ dog of a pretty substantial section of lower hive. She took care of her people, she made sure they had a wage, even if the business was dirty. But because she wasn’t hording, she needed the cash and she wanted kid and she sure as hell didn’t want to tie down. She fully expected if she let anyone get that close to her they’d start getting ideas about who was in charge, and ruin the good thing she had going, so she bit the hook. She had the kid, and accepted the pay. She was going to do right by him. When the noble’s goons came to collect, she really wanted to just blow their heads off but kept her cool, and asked for more time. She was given a week to think about it… that they never actually gave her. The noble tried to have Dozer stolen. Now she absolutely was going to blow their heads off. She fought them tooth and fucking nail. She kept them out of her fucking territory, her entire gang backed her up, she kept this all a secret from her baby and she started raising her boy. …Who appeared to be some kind of mutant because he was 5 foot something tall by 8 years old. And SMART TOO. Especially with machines. The more tech savy of her gang saw some of the pictures he’d drawn and they were fucking schematics. (Slight implication that perhaps the genes were not the noble’s to offer, is all this is, Meheheh.) She didn’t think anything of it. She was so damn proud of her mutant Billy that she strong-armed her brother to give him a job in his Decommission business. It was, essentially, a glorified chop shop…. and also a front for the uncle’s weapon smuggling to other gangs that dozer’s mom didn’t know about. The goal of businesses like that was to receive a contract with the Imperium to decommission war vehicles, or parts of them that could be recovered, to be recycled. Because of Dozer’s aptitude for machines (and a particularly messy campaign somewhere in the sector,)that small business managed to snag such a thing. A contract to decommission a Tank. It would actually be more money than his small time weapon running.He was the “cool uncle”, of course, that let Dozer cuss and try amnsec and drink coffee and eat chocolate and stay up late to watch dirty movies, and when Dozer got them that contract… Dozer was gifted with a few hours of real life boobs for his 10th birthday. He was almost 6 feet tall by then, complete with cracking voice and acne with adult muscle structure. He thought he was plenty mature until that day. It was a complete disaster. He was NERVOUS. He didn’t have a clue what he was supposed to do. His hands were shaking. He might have cried like a bitch afterward. It was the single most awkward moment of his life and it makes him LAUGH now.

19. Their reaction to betrayal:Its actually really convenient you picked this one, because the example ties in nicely to what I just had to explain.

Dozer’s uncle might have been the ‘Cool Uncle’ but he was a greedy piece of shit. He let Dozer do all those things because they’re things he would have wanted to do, not out of any real interest in Dozer’s wants. Dozer thought they were friends, he was incredibly wrong. His uncle was just happy to be making money. He absolutely kept running weapons under the counter and even pieces of the damaged tank. He even went so far as to sell out Dozer to the noble that technically ‘owned’ him. That was the last mistake he’d make.The noble had contacts, those contacts connected with gangs in surrounding territories. Offered a bounty for each head of the target gang they could provide (Chump change to the noble, of course) and a huge sum for the boy. Alive. Unharmed. The hive block didn’t do so well, really. It erupted into an outright war. It was absolutely brutal. Nobody was treated as a civilian and the LAW was content to let them sort themselves out. Mordian’s population problem would be eased if only for a while. He never found out what happened to his mom, (But it is more likely she went into hiding to try and take the heat off her boy than outright bit the dust. By the time she would have been able to contact him, he would be in hiding, or off world by then.)It was the same year as the awkward, so Dozer managed two firsts that year. He got lucky and he killed a man. He stared his uncle in the eyes as he crushed his throat. After he stopped rattling he kept squeezing anyway. When squeezing hurt his fingers he started punching. He didn’t stop until he didn’t have the strength to keep going. Out of the two new experiences, he preferred killing. And he really liked it actually. It felt ..Powerful. Good. Meat and blood looked good when he was the one causing it.This is when we get into the real meat of his revenge. For the next four years Dozer gathered up what was left of those loyal to his mom in secret. He told them he had a plan. He relocated the tank. He modified the tank into an artillery launcher. He built himself an exo-suit. He abused his uncle’s network for bullets, guns, armor. He launched a fucking 50 man raid on a hive spire, using the tank–backyard-basilisk to blow open the way. His not quite power armor protected him, got him to where he needed to go. He fucked shit up. He didn’t have an escape plan. He didn’t want to escape. He wanted to be gunned the fuck down so he didn’t have to live with any of this shit anymore. Instead, he ended up arrested and interned on a prison ship… For breaching the terms in his contract. Three years later, he would be recruited from that vessel to the Iron Warriors. … Which is actually the thing I’m writing right now.

#metalboxes #OH LOOK IT ENDED UP EVEN FUCKING LONGER #AT LEAST IT FEELS LIKE IT #ocs #william mahoney #I AM SORRY THESE THINGS ARE SO LONG #I HAVE BEEN SITTING ON THESE BOYS FOR YEARS #HE'S STILL ABSOLUTELY AN ASSHOLE #BUT I HOPE THAT HE IS STILL INTERESTING TO READ ABOUT

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chemicalunrest · 8 years ago

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How do you do those Leokumi paralogues? Can you maybe teach me?

Sure! Don’t worry, it’s super easy to edit conversations (thanks to a nifty tool made by SecretiveCactus). If I can do it, pretty much anyone can. Fair warning, though: I don’t know how to do this for NTR CFW. I have no idea if the method for getting the changes into your game is the same, different, or what. I use HANS, so that’s the only method I know. Sorry!

FE14 Chapter/Paralogue/Support Editing Tutorial

I’m going to assume you’re already using UnassumingVenusaur’s Gay Fates hack. If you’re not, you’re missing out. I highly recommend it. I can’t even play vanilla Fates anymore.I’ll do a quick recap, though. (If you already have Gay Fates, skip to Part 2.)

[ PART 1 ]

The first three things you will need are:1. Homebrew Launcher2. Braindump3. RomFS Extractor

STEP ONEOkay, first you want Homebrew on your 3DS, so download the starter kit. I would highly recommend using SoundHax as your entry point. I won’t go into how to do this as there’s already a guide here. (Ignore the part at the bottom that says “Continue to Decrypt9″; your last step is Step 8: “Your console should load the Homebrew Launcher”.) You’ll also want to put the unzipped braindump folder into your 3ds/ folder on your SD card.STEP TWONow that that’s done, you’ll need to dump your game with braindump. Just select braindump from the homebrew menu and follow the instructions. It takes a while to dump your game, so plug in your 3DS and make sure you have enough space on your card to accommodate about 2GB or else the dump will fail. If you have more space than that available, all the better.Okay, now on your card you should have a folder with a name that is just a 16-digit string of numbers. It should match one of the strings below depending on your version of the game.USABirthright: 0004000000179400Conquest: 0004000000179600Special Ed.: 0004000000179800EURBirthright: 0004000000179500Conquest: 0004000000179700Special Ed.: 000400000017A800Got that folder? Great. Okay, drag it to your desktop so we can have some fun with it.STEP THREEInside the folder should be two files: romfs.bin and exefs.bin. Use the RomFS Extractor and point it at the romfs.bin, then let it do its thing. You will now have a folder called romfs_. Great, this is exactly what we need. (Also, you can now delete the original 000400000017etc.folder off your SD card.)

[ PART 2 ]

The next three things you will need are:4. FEAT (Fire Emblem Archive Tool)5. Conversation Editor (download)6. RomFS BuilderSTEP FOURThis is where the editing begins. I’m assuming you want to edit paralogues, so we’ll start with that, but this method also works for chapter dialogue and supports. And probably other things I haven’t thought of yet. Anyway, let’s start with Kiragi’s paralogue.Go into the romfs_ folder. This is the path to glory: romfs_\m\@EIn that @E folder are all of the support conversations and the paralogues. The support conversations are in this format: CHARACTER1_CHARACTER2.bin.lz, plus an extra designation if they’re a P/C or Sib support. These are in Japanese, so the Kiragi/Takumi P/C support would be キサラギ_タクミ_親子.bin.lz.キサラギ = Kiragiタクミ = Takumi親子 = Parent/Child兄弟 = SiblingJust in case you want to edit any supports to do with Corrin, you should know that name-wise, Corrin’s a bit of a special case. S/he’s not listed under カムイ or even マイユニット. Instead:プレイヤー女 = Player (Female)プレイヤー男 = Player (Male)The paralogues are much simpler to find. They’re simply listed as X###.bin.lz, with the ### corresponding to their in-game number. Kiragi is Paralogue 8, so his file is X008.bin.lz. Copy and paste that file to your desktop, or wherever it is you want to work on this.IMPORTANT NOTE: ALWAYS KEEP A BACKUP OF THE ORIGINAL FILE.You could always just use braindump again, but that’s time-consuming. If you make a mistake, it’s much easier to just have the original file on-hand to start over with.STEP FIVEOpen FEAT. It’s basically just a gray box with instructions in it that read “Open a file, or Drag/Drop several! Click this box to clear its text.” Take its advice and drag-and-drop X008.bin.lz onto it. You should now have the original .bin.lz file and two others: a .bin and a .txt. Ignore the .bin (I’ve never needed it) and open the .txt in Notepad. I would suggest unchecking Word Wrap for this. I know it looks kind of intimidating, but don’t worry. We’ll only be copy-pasting onto this.STEP SIXAnd now we get to the reason someone as incompetent as I am can actually run around editing game files willy-nilly: SecretiveCactus’ Conversation Editor, which works for Fates and Awakening! You’ll just need to download the appropriate packages for the game you want to edit. Follow the GUI Introduction so you know how to use it. It’s really user friendly, though.Drag and drop X008.bin.lz onto the Conversation Editor to open it. There should now be text in the white box, and six tabs above it: OP1, OP2, OP3, TK1, DIE_キサラギ, and ED1. Each of those tabs corresponds to a part of the paralogue.Now, the Conversation Editor (going to call it CE from here on out) has one tiny problem: when you click on ‘Convert to Script’ to change the code into something readable by regular humans, it occasionally decides to take chunks of text and hide them somewhere, never to be found again. I have no idea what causes this. I don’t think it happens in Kiragi’s paralogue, but just to be safe, I always follow these steps:1. Open file in CE.2. Hit ‘Reload Text’.3. Read through script.4. Hit ‘Convert to Script’ and ‘Reload Text’.5. Read through again to make sure nothing is missing.You could also just look the script up online and compare them that way, but obviously if you’re doing custom work, you’ll have to do it the longer way. I’ve never noticed a discrepancy going from Script to Game, though I still double-check to be sure.There are occasionally things that don’t “translate” into Script, such as certain sound effects. Chapter 10 of Revelation is a good example of this; when Leo rides away from Corrin after telling her where the hostages are, the code is:$Wsレオン|$Wa$Eキメ|Along with the pathetic Hoshidan\nprince, Takumi.$k\n$Wsusername|$Wa$SvpVOICE_PLAYER_F#_EVT_21|$E通常|What?\nDo you mean—$k$p$Sbv0|8000|$k\n$Wsレオン|$Wd$w0|\n$w200|$SspSE_EVT_HORSE_GO_AWAY|$w800|The Script version is:Leo (Posed): Along with the pathetic Hoshidan prince, Takumi.Corrin [VOICE_PLAYER_F#_EVT_21] (Standard): What? Do you mean—$Sbv0|8000|(EXIT: Leo)$w200|$SspSE_EVT_HORSE_GO_AWAY|$w800|Which, obviously, is not a perfect rendering. (Not complaining, though! I love this tool to the ends of the Earth.) In cases like this, be very careful to make sure that the formatting remains correct. This is why we’re using FEAT as well as the CE. Usually I’ll make a change in CE, convert back to Game view, then copy and paste just the part I changed into the text file so as to preserve other formatting, just in case.Okay, so once you’ve made sure that the Game -> Script conversion is fine, this is the part where you would make your changes. Add dialogue, erase dialogue, insert characters, make them all sing Kumbaya, whatever your heart desires. Go from Script -> Game, copy-paste the changes over to the text file, then save and close the text file. Drag and drop the text file back onto FEAT. It will automatically update the .bin.lz file. Drag and drop the .bin.lz file onto the CE to open it, hit ‘Reload Text’ and check to make sure everything looks good, and then we’re done! Overwrite the original file in the romfs_ folder with your edited one (always making sure to keep a backup of the original, unedited file, naturally).That was a long step! The next one is easy, I promise.STEP SEVENOpen RomFS Builder. Point it at the romfs_ folder and let it do its thing. It will prompt you for a file name. If you’re using the Gay Fates hack, you already know this; if not, you need to name it the last eight digits of the braindump folder name, with the extension of .romfs. For example, if you have the USA Special Edition, the file will be called 00179800.romfs. You can save it directly to your SD card if you want, or anywhere else and then just move it there after. However you do it, when you do put it on the SD card, you need to make a folder called ‘hans’ on the root of the SD card and save the .romfs file inside it. If your computer designates your SD card as, say, F:, this would be the path: F:/hans/00179800.romfsSTEP EIGHTAnd you’re done! Load the game up through HANS and make sure everything looks right. Enjoy your edits! As I mentioned, you can also use the CE to edit entire chapter conversations as well. Those are found… well, I’m not actually sure how those look on the Birthright or Conquest cartridges. The Special Edition, since it has everything on one cart, has inside the ’m’ folder the following folders:@EABCcommon@E has support conversations and paralogues. A is Birthright chapter files, B is Conquest chapter files, and C is Revelation chapter files.As a fun note, you can also edit endings with FEAT! The file for character endings is in the @E folder with the paralogues. It’s pretty easy to find, being named “Ending.bin.lz” and all. Run it through FEAT and you’ll have the power to change fate. Don’t like a character’s ending? Change it! Make new ones! The world is your oyster! …Just be careful about character limits and line breaks. And, as always, keep a backup of the original.And that’s it! If you have any questions, let me know. I don’t know how much more help I can be, since I basically just dumped everything I know onto this tutorial, but if anything I said was confusing or didn’t make sense I’d be happy to try to clarify. Happy editing!EXAMPLESParalogue 8: Leokumi EditionParalogue 16: Leokumi Edition

#asks and answers #butterflyprince7 #tutorial #fe14 #fire emblem fates #my fe14 editing tutorial #fire emblem

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ih4x67ge-blog · 5 years ago

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How much will insurance cost for a kawasaki ninja 250r monthly for a 20 year old beginner?

i think i might go with state farm.

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sailorrrvenus · 6 years ago

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Review: Elinchrom ELB 1200 HS is Top for Action Photos in Bright Sun

Some months ago, I did a speed riding photoshoot with FriedeFly in the Swiss Alps. I was able to try out some new stuff in the snow and managed to capture some really nice shots. During the shoot, I also played around with my old Jinbei DC II 600 V flash since I was fascinated by shots of skiers made with flash that overpowers the sun.

While using the Jinbei in this harsh environment, I faced a lot of problems. I’ve never liked the user interface, but in mountain snow it was even harder to use. For some settings, you have to press two small buttons at once, which never worked out for me — it always changed the wrong setting. Furthermore, it was a pain to get the triggers to work — they did not work properly without moving them around on the camera connector and when you accidentally touched a button they switched channels so that you have to fiddle around another five minutes to get them working again.

But the main problem was that I just didn’t have as much power to light up the speed rider as I wanted. The 600 Ws where already a lot, but it was hardly noticeable during harsh daylight. This was when I began to search for a flash that fits my need.

My Requirements for the New Device

At least 1200 Ws with Hi-Sync Mode

As small and lightweight as possible for a 1200 Ws flash

Built-In trigger (with Hi-Sync) since I did not want to fiddle around with third-party triggers

The trigger should be able to change the flash power (and display it)

Robust and weather resistant

A usable modeling light

Alternatives and Why I Chose the ELB 1200

The smaller Elinchrom ELB 400 is much more lightweight but 400 Ws was just not enough in the snow during bright sunlight.

I considered a used Elinchrom Ranger RX but decided it is way too heavy to go skiing with it (8kg/17.6lb battery, 2.5kg/5.5lb head). And it has no modeling light and hi-sync may not be as good (you need an external trigger to use hi-sync).

Another option would be to use two Godox AD600s (or Jinbei). It is about the same weight, but I had no idea how to fit two of these monoblock devices in my backpack. You also have to carry two tripods and two reflectors. Reflectors make a huge difference for the range, but they are quite bulky to carry.

Broncolor Siros 800 L: I read a lot of good reviews about it but was not sure if 800Ws was enough. It’s also quite long and I had no idea how to fit it in my bag. And I did not like the monoblock design: the Jinbei HD II 600 V was already bad to handle on a small light stand and this was only 2.5kg/5.5lb instead of 4.3kg (9.48lbs).

Broncolor Move 1200L is a little bit heavier than the ELB (6.2kg the PowerPack only) but it was just not in my price league.

The Jinbei DC II 1200 is about the same weight (found inconsistent technical details, e.g. PowerPack: 8.2kg, PowerPack (without Battery): 3.4kg, Battery: 1.3kg). It has no weather sealing, a much darker modeling light and obviously the same bad user interface as my Jinbei DC II 600 V. Also you need an external trigger to use HS.

The Profoto Pro-B4 is just way too heavy with its 9.8kg (21.6lbs)

For me, the ELB 1200 combines all my requirements the best. It’s relatively lightweight, has a lots power, and has one of the brightest modeling lights on the market, which you can also use for video (it has a fan that you can switch off). It also has a built-in trigger with a large display which allows to change a lot of settings and also has a key-locking feature so that you won’t accidentally change settings.

I’ll now compare the ELB 1200 to my Jinbei DC II 600 V.

Power

Of course, the ELB 1200 has more power than the Jinbei, but I was also able to control the power much more precisely. The ELB has 1200 Ws which can be controlled in steps of 1/10 (from 1200 Ws to 7 Ws). The Jinbei has 600Ws and can change the power from 1/1 to 1/128 (from 600 Ws to 4.7 Ws) in steps of 1/3. But if you change the Jinbei to Hi-Sync Mode, it’s only possible to control the power from 1/1 to 1/16.

Below is a photo series of the two units firing to a white wall (Jinbei in super-sync mode). On both flashes, I removed the reflector to make the power output more comparable. The camera was set to f/22 and ISO 50.

There are maybe better ways to compare the flash output power, but I don’t have any measuring instruments and for me it was more important to test the brightness with the camera that I’ll use in the field.

It is great that both devices did not show a noticeable gradient when using Hi-Sync at 1/4000 (my D750 does not support 1/8000). Gradients can appear when using Hi-Sync when the flash brightness falls off too quickly.

Both devices seem to have roughly the same brightness at 600 Ws (Half Power of the ELB). But since the Jinbei has a slightly narrower beam (see Picture below), the ELB might be brighter but you won’t see that light on the wall in front. That is probably also the reason why the ELB at full power does not look much brighter than the Jinbei at full power.

Elinchrom High-Performance Reflector

Along with the ELB 1200, I also got an Elinchrom High-Performance Reflector. With the reflector, it’s possible to throw the light much farther, which would hopefully allow me to light up a speed rider. The reflector is very light but a little bit bulky. My first thought was: “how should I carry this thing while skiing?” I did not find a reflector for the Jinbei (Bowens bayonet) that is that small and has the same tight beam.

Below a short comparison between the flash with no reflector, the standard reflector (90° 16cm) and the high-performance reflector (48° 26cm). As you can see a good reflector will probably help you more than a flash with doubled power.

Power Measurement Retry

The first thing I noticed on my recent power output comparison was, that the ELB does not look much brighter than the Jinbei. Of course, that does not justify my expense so I had to redo the test.

As I already found out: the light beams are very different, so my test was not really comparable. Also, the color temperature is different, making it difficult for the eye to determine which one is brighter. So I repeated the test with both flashes and the High-Performance reflector attached to it. The bayonet on the Jinbei is different so I used some tape to attach it. With the reflector attached the flashes are way too bright to use the same settings as before. So this time I used ISO 200 f/4.5 and an ND1000. Here are the results:

The ELB 1200 is a small touch brighter at half power (600 Ws) that the Jinbei DC 600 at Full Power (also 600 Ws). I used the color pipette to get the center brightness.

Modeling Light

Even though the Jinbei has a modeling light, it was never usable since it has only 5W and is not dimmable. Even indoors it was hardly usable when the light was on. In contrast, the Elinchrom has a very bright 50W LED Daylight CRI 92, which is dimmable. The light output is Equivalent to 250 W halogen (4000 Lumens), which was even a lot brighter than my normal ceiling lights.

With the high-performance reflector, it is even possible to use the light outdoor in the harsh sun as a fill light for video.

Battery Life

During a test in fast mode (faster recycle time) and at full power, I got 223 flashes out of the ELB battery pack — seven flashes more than Elinchrom promises with the standard battery. The standard/air battery is specified for 215 flashes (or 80 min of continuous light) and the larger battery for 400 flashes (or 120 min of continuous light).

I did not test the battery life of the Jinbei, but from my experience, it matches the manufacturer’s specification: it is impressive that the battery is so much smaller (half of the ELBs) but you can get 500 flashes out of it.

Recycle Time

The Elinchrom can recycle a lot faster than the Jinbei. In the default speed mode, the Jinbei recycles in 4.5s and the ELB in 3.0s. In fast mode, the Jinbei recycles in 3.5s and the ELB in only 1.7s. Considering that the ELB has 1200 Ws, this is really impressive.

Continuous Shooting

With the Jinbei it was possible to flash continuously at 1/16 (37.5 Ws) of the power at the maximum continuous rate of my D750 (6.5 photos per second). However, with the super-sync mode on, continuous shooting was not possible anymore, not even at 1 picture per second!

With the ELB it was possible to shoot at 3.5 (75Ws) at 6.5 pictures per second and at 4.7 (180Ws) at 3 pictures per second.

User Interface

One thing I always hated with the Jinbei is that if you turn down the power, it does not discharge its capacitors — instead, it flashes! This is sometimes quite painful when after power on it is still at full power, you want to turn it down and it flashes directly into your eyes with full power.

I really like the backlight of the buttons and the display of the Skyport. Unfortunately, the buttons on the ELB are not backlit, but they glow when you light them up earlier (fluorescence).

One disadvantage for the Jinbei is that you have to carry an external trigger: one more device that you have to connect with a cable and care about its battery. Furthermore, it was not possible to control the power with the third-party trigger, so if you also want to control the power you also have to carry the original non-Hi-Sync trigger.

Because of the Jinbei’s mono-block design and a display-less trigger, if you want to change some settings or would like to know the power setting, you have to bring the light stand down to look at the display.

The user interface of the Jinbei can be a pain. If you want to enable super-sync mode you have to press two buttons at once. It never worked for me because I probably did not hit them exactly at the same time, so I always changed different settings.

High-Speed Sync

The Jinbei has one cool feature: It has a dedicated super sync mode! Normally the flash duration is very fast, but with the change of a setting, you can switch it to a slow flash duration for Hi-Sync. However, in the super-sync mode, you can control the power only from 1/1 – 1/16 and continuous shooting is not possible anymore.

Elinchrom has a different approach to Hi-Sync. You can buy different flash heads that suit your needs. The Hi-Sync head with a slow flash duration, the Action Head with the shortest flash duration and a Pro Head which offers a balance between Action and Hi-Sync. If you want a different flash duration, you have to pay another head.

Build Quality

The build quality of the Jinbei is quite good, it is great if you consider its price. Though I never really liked the small buttons. Also, it is of course not weather-resistant.

The build quality of the ELB is in another league. It is weather-resistant and the battery is double secured. Also, I liked the bag that is included with the ELB. It is made robust but also very heavy for a bag. A lot of spacers and straps are included to carry the bag. Further Elinchrom includes a case to fasten the power pack to a light stand.

Size and Weight

Compared to the Jinbei (27x13x20cm at 2.5kg with battery) the Elinchrom unit is pretty heavy (4.3kg PowerPack plus 2.2kg Head). With the larger battery, the PowerPack is 4.7kg. However for a 1200 Ws device, the Elinchrom is really small (PowerPack: 18 x 13 x 28 cm, Head: 22.5x14x23cm), it is the smallest unit I found on the market.

One of the things I really like is the fact how small the battery pack of ELB 1200 really is (for a 1200Ws flash). It was even possible to fit it in my backpack together with my Nikon D750, a 14-24mm and a 24-120mm. Solely the High-Performance reflector was a bit bulky, which I had to strap to the back. It is very light so it does not matter while driving, but you have to be careful when entering a chairlift or gondola.

Of course, the Jinbei was even smaller and easier to pack, e.g. it was also possible to carry my DJI Mavic inside the backpack… but if you want 1200Ws you can’t have it all.

What I Did Not Like

The buttons under the handle bar are not placed very user-friendly. Also after powering on, the unit can automatically use the A-Port, meaning you don’t have to press one of the buttons on every power-on.

The AF light of the Skyport is really dark, compared to the triggers of the Yognou triggers that I used with the Jinbei.

One suggestion for improvement: It would be nice if the handle of the battery pack and the head would be removable, it would save a lot of space. A smaller or removable light stand mount would also be nice.

Conclusion

If you don’t need 1200W I would consider switching to Godox which also have nice triggers now, on which can change the power setting on a display – one thing I missed on the Jinbei the most. I used the small 200W Godox flashes during a shoot and also liked their user interface.

However, in my opinion, the ELB 1200 is the best and most versatile device for action photography in very bright sunlight. After half a year of using it during various shoots, I am still satisfied with my decision. The flash distance with the high-performance reflector is awesome and the flash is a joy to use. Every time I used it I had no struggles to set it up and I can count on its reliability for the next years.

About the author: Carsten E. Nagel is a photographer based in Germany. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. You can find more of his work on his website, Facebook, and 500px. This article was also published here.

source https://petapixel.com/2018/11/08/review-elinchrom-elb-1200-hs-is-top-for-action-photos-in-bright-sun/

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yourrainycollectorhologram-blog · 6 years ago

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I am looking to lease a car but I am on a budget. Ive been looking online at some people that want to sell or transfer their lease because I would only want it short term. Since lease cars are usually new insurance would be too much for me to pay, so I was wondering if a monthly lease payment includes it, and taxes.""

Child only health insurance?

Is there any company in Utah where I can purchase health insurance for my child only?

What happens to rest of my insurance after a write off?

I had a accident today in my fiesta, hit some ice, lost control round a bend ended up in the ditch, car looks f****d admiral picking it up 2mo I am only 11 months into the policy I have been told by a few people that it is defo a write off so I take it i will be paid out for the car (how long would this take) I am also getting a courtesy car by the garage picking the car up to repair it now will i have this till i get paid out? and due to having 11 months on my insurance and i paid in full can i freeze the insurance till i get a new car (ill be getting the same car infact i hope its not a write off) or will i get something back on the insurance due to only using 1 of the 12 months i paid for?""

""I need some cheap car insurance. I have a 2005 suburvan, a 97 chev pickup and a 97 mercury tracer.?""

I need some cheap car insurance. I have a 2005 suburvan, a 97 chev pickup and a 97 mercury tracer.?""

Does anyone know an affordable doctor in phx/ glendale area?

I have no insurance, does any one no where there is a good doctor who's cash prices are affordable?""

Does anyone know of a cheap auto insurance carrier in california?

does anyone know of a cheap auto insurance carrier in california

Is Mercury Insurance good?

cause i know its really cheap

Driving points for no insurance?

How many points do you receive for driving without insurance in michigan?

I dont understand my car insurance??!!?

My car is insured by progressive. There was a break in attempt about a month ago. Unfortunately, i was out of town and my husband didnt file a report. Upon attempting to break in, our window would not roll up or down anymore because they set it off track. Today, our whole lock came out of the door! (I dont know what its called, the place that you put your key in the door in order to lock your car, it came out of the door.) We are broke and cant fix it because BMW parts are SO expensive. Ive been extremely worried about my car being stolen and have been trying to understand my policy. But i dont! What happens if my car gets stolen? Which part of the policy talks about it being stolen? My car was financed to my husband by Navy Fed, depending on the insurance, do they pay off the bank?""

Costs of insurance for Young people 16?

Could you write how much do/did you pay/paid for your insurance now/before?? Also could you add you car engine etc..

Motorbike Insurance Help!!! Please!!?

Im 16 and live in Ireland and have a provisional A1 license and im getting a road legal motorbike soon. I rang up quinn direct yesterday and got an insurance price for a 1999 Honda Rebel 125, Fully Comp. Bikes worth 1500. they quoted me 1685.70 and got the same quote from AON and there quote was 2575.. could anybody please tell me how much dearer it would be to get insured on lets say a honda cbr125 or aprilia rs125?? or maybe a honda nsr 125? i know the insurance will go up quite dramatically but would anyone have a rough estimate??""

Is someone else covered under my car insurance to drive MY car?

A guy I'm dating will ask to use my car from time to time because he has trouble with his, but I'm hesitant because even though he has his own car and own car insurance, I don't think he's covered under my insurance to drive MY car. Does anyone know exactly how this works??? I have Nationwide, if that makes a difference............""

I wanted to now about car insurance liability?

my boyfriend is on his mums insurance, but the other day, he had a little bump, which wasnt his fault, the person in front kept breaking spontaneously on a very busy road which caused him to slightly go in to the back of her car, theres no damage to his mums car and hes says (and i fully believe him) that the only bit of damage to their car is a few screws missing, yet they have still got the insurance company involved, but he really wasnt liable for the little bump, it wasnt his fault, the other person kept putting breaks on and i know you can fail your test for breaking like that on a busy road, i just want to know what will happen about his mums insurance now as hes really worried.""

At what age does a car qualify for Classic Motor Insurance?

Is it wise to go on your parents car insurance?

Having looked around on car insurance website and seeing that my insurance would be as high as 2500, is it wise to go on my parents insurance. If they are the main driver and im the additional driver it comes down to just 1000. Is this illegal and what are the chances of getting caught if so? thanks x""

""How do i get an car insurance quote without giving (name, address, social security no, etc)?""

A 2001 toyota sienna xle, for a 15 year old driver W/ Learners Permit living in bellevue, WA never had one ticket or accident, mostly A's grades, employed PS Not 15 yet but am employed, just wanna know when the time comes""

Question about auto insurance?

Okay, I'm really stupid when it comes to this stuff, so don't laugh at this. I have a vehicle insured under my name. If my friend is driving it, would she be covered whether I'm present or not? Does it matter at all if she has her own auto insurance?""

What is a good and cheep health insurance?

i only need it for a month i'm 19 years old and in good health. oh i live in florid

How much will insurance be on a 2004 Nissan Maxima SL?

By the time I get the car I will be like 18 and 1/2. I will be under my parents policy and I only get into one accident (very minor) but it was at no fault. Parents got into no accidents in the last like 5 years. I want a rough estimate on how much it will be a year for the car I am going to get. Thanks

Cheap insurance for a 16 year old boy?

My first car is gonna be allot more expensive then the average first car because its a Lincoln aviator, the only problem is that even though the truck is $7000 (after safety and etest and all that needs nothing else) witch i can afford, the insurance is $1000 a month witch i can't afford! is there anyway to possibly go under my parents insurance or something like that? if so how would i do that?""

My car insurance may get cancelled soon, I paid for the full year in full, if they cancel my policy will they keep my money?

I told them that I was a student, which i'm not, and now they've found out, so they may cancel my policy

Car insurance canceled my policy?

hi, my car insurance cancelled my policy one month before its due for renewal and half way threw a claim (car was stolen). they voided the policy from the date i took the insurance out 11 months ago, the reason they gave is that i am not the registered keeper and i didn't disclose this to them but i am the registered keeper because the name on the policy does not match the log book, this is a mistake i faild to notice. the mistake is on the log book my middle (second) name is in place of my surname so i sent them prove of my full name but they still cancelled my policy. is there anything i can do? i will be grateful for any advice. thanks.""

Do you have too get insurance on rentacar?

do you need insurance on car rental

Average Cost of Homeowner's Insurance for a home..?

that is appraised at 169,000 and bought for 166,000?""

How much would insurance be on a 1987 Fiero GT?

I don't know much about insurance rates and all that stuff, I'm only 17 and haven't taken the time to learn it. I just need a quick estimate on how much insurance would cost for such a car as that is what I'm looking at. Details welcome. Please don't start giving me advice on cars and trying to tell me what type of car I should get for my age. I would just like to know the answer to my question. Thanks.""

Car Question 101: Which car insurance company is the best out there?

I am planning to buy a Toyota Rav4 by next year.Car cost would be between $20-25k. My credit score is ok about 690. How much should I expect to pay on car insurance? And is it per month or per quarter like (2x a year or 4x a year etc). Thanks! :)

Can you get insurance if your spouse doesn't have a license?

Can you get insurance if your spouse doesn't have a license in the state of Texas? My husband has been trying to get quotes for insurance but keeps being told I, his wife, need to have a license. At the time that I was living in Florida, you did not need a vehicle license to drive a vespa (moped, scooter, etc.), just a permit. After moving here to Texas and getting married, the DMV denied me a license even though it had been a year of having both a drivers permit and permit to drive my moped, saying I needed to take the Texas Adult Drivers Course, then pass the driving test to receive my Drivers License. Upon finishing the Adult Drivers Course I went into preterm labor and put on bed rest for two months, which is why i haven't done the driving test yet. Is there any way my husband can get his vehicle insured? (if you could please support with websites that would be greatly appreciated)""

Average house insurance in Canada?

What is the average amount of money you pay in house insurance in Canada? It would be nice if you have a site link, because this is for a school project. Also, how much do ...show more""

""Young car insurance, where and how?""

Just passed me test and looked at insurance and wwwwoooowwww!!!! 3000 around the value of the car any way, so insurance quotes expect young people to write there car off twice at 8000 crazy i mean i understand that there are some bad young overconfident drivers basicly this is for and auto 1.2 nisan micra fully comp on my mums insurance. Im a guy and 18 in may so what is the way around this. I don't really want a car but for me i feel its necessary because i'm not a confident driver so need to keep it going. so do i buy a bangger(If so whats a good model) or go on my mums car. UK thanks guys any help appreciated""

What company provides cheap motorcycle insurance?

Keep insurance if I am selling the car?

I am selling a car that I still have financed. Do I still have to have insurance (full coverage) if I'm selling it and I'm not driving it at all? Ohio Law plz

Whats the website for high school sports insurance?

They use to give the application on paper but now it's online, I forgot the website, what is the website for it?""

Just a minor speed ticket affect my insurance?

In Ontario, Canada: I got a speeding ticket for going 10 over the limit (60km/h in 50 zone), is it considered as a minor traffic violation according to insurance?""

What would have if you just stopped pay your car insurance?

What would have if you just stopped pay your car insurance? I am just curious.

Motorcycle insurance in ontario?

How much would Motorcycle insurance be for 16 year old male liveing in Ontario? I was thinking of getting an older ninja between the years of 1987 - 96. Just wondering how much it would be around . I tried an insurance quote online, but it didnt really turn out right. Thanks""

What are the chances my daughter could get good health insurance?

That's affordable? She has a few preexisting conditions. Spina Bifida (birth defect) asthma and Chiari Malformation. She only has one kidney. Right now she's receiving ...show more

When my boyfriend turned 18 he lost his health insurance. where can he get health insurance at?

He doesn't see the importance of it, but I know he needs it. dental and health insurance. He doesn't make a lot of money either.""

State Farm Renter's Insurance?

I live with my brother and his wife. There names are on the lease and my name is not on the lease. Can I still get Renter's Insurance?

I am in phoenix arizona. What insurance company is best for a 18 year old driver with a DUI?

I know he should not be allowed to drive but he needs to get to college. No he is not going to take the bus!

What is the best way to recruit people to become insurance agents?

I recruit people for Farmers Insurance to become insurance agents. We train and help finance them to open their own insurance office. I'm doing this within a 30 mile radius of ...show more

Can car insurance be in both my name and my wifes?

I just sold my car, and am waiting 3 months to buy a new car. My job requires that i have car insurance ( i dont know why since i dont drive for my job) I faxed a copy of my wifes insurance. Can my name be added on to the insurance, or do i need to get seperate insurance?""

Insurance on motorcycle ?

It would be a Kawasaki ninja zx6r it is a 2006 and 600 cc engine.. I am 16 and live in northwestern Pennsylvania... I would get minimum coverage.. I would also be adding on to my dads car insurance plan and I would be getting a 20% discount for good driver etc. About how much do you think the insurance on it would be?thanks

Car insurance -- should they cover these expenses?

I had an accident a month or two ago. It was in a rental car. I found out today that the insurance company had disallowed some of the charges that the rental company tried to pass to them. Now the rental company is trying to pass those charges to me. They ammount to about $500, plus my deductible, of course. The charges are $100 for an administrative fee $200.89 loss of use fee $139.38 diminished value fee. Who should pay these charges? Should I fork this money over to the car rental company? Should the insurance company pay them? What strategy should I use in my conversations with them? My feeling is that I have insurance, it should pay everything which is an actual cost above and beyond the deductible. ie if I have to pay it, the insurance company should have to pay it. On the other hand, if they are somehow bogus charges, then the rental company can eat it, and that's fine. Thought?""

How can I see a cheap doctor w/ no insurance?

I am 23 years old and I don't have insurance. My husband got a huge pay cut and we had to cancel it. We just can't afford it at the moment. However, I am having some serious issues and I really want to see a doctor badly. I am having horrible pains in my hands and the rest of my body and pitting edema in my legs. I don't want to rack up a huge emergency bill, but I can't afford $200 for a doctors visit. Is there ANYWHERE I can go to see a doctor for really cheap??? It's to the point where I can hardly use my hands to even type this and I am scared. Thanks..""

UK. Do you need insurance to learn to drive with your parents car?

i have my provisional Is the insurance expensive?

I need tips for reducing cost of car insurance plz?

Ive got a few tips but can anyone think of any more? thanks a million

My car insurance may get cancelled soon, I paid for the full year in full, if they cancel my policy will they keep my money?

I told them that I was a student, which i'm not, and now they've found out, so they may cancel my policy

What's the average cost of life insurance? -per month?

Insurance question for my situation?

What do you think would be the cheapest insurance company to go with in this situation? 16 year old female, 1992 Ford F 150""

Do I need an insurance license in California?

If I work for a licensed insurance agent in California by calling present clients to see if they need more or different insurance and ask questions to get a quote do I need to be licensed? The licensed agent will give all quotes.

Is there an affordable private insurance provider that will cover prescription medicine so I can go to school?

I have Crohn's disease and I'm attending college in Idaho. I'm currently covered by my parents' insurance, but I'm I will no longer be covered in a year. My college has a reasonably priced insurance plan but it doesn't cover prescription medications. Remicade is considered a prescription drug, which means that the plan won't cover my remicade treatments which cost about $4,000 every eight weeks. I realize I could get a job that has benefits, but I really would like to get a college degree. Is there any way I can go to college and still have the health coverage I need to pay for my prescription medicines?""

Which car insurance companies should I look into?

I'm looking for car insurance and was wondering which companies you would suggest I look into and get quotes from? Which company do you have and what do you like / not like about them? Thanks!!

What is the best health insurance in CA right now?

I need help. I don't have health insurance right now and I want to find an affordable one. I live in San Francisco, and I work part-time. I look at Athem insurance and it was around 60 bucks a month. I can't really afford that right now. Is there any other health insurance that is affordable and good?""

What happens if you get pulled over with a suspended licence but you have SR-22 Insurance?

I live in California and these days its getting harder and harder to get away with things with DMV. Does anyone know what happens if you get pulled over with a suspended license? I received a DUI on March 1st 2007 and have been driving with out a license for almost 4 years but Ive always had insurance and registration, and now they have a completely different department for registration which slowed up the delivery of my 2011 tags. Now Im driving around with no tags, suspended registration, and suspended license but carrying SR-22 insurance. Its all in the mail and getting sorted out but with these furlough Fridays its slowed the process of obtaining everything even more. What happens if I get pulled over?""

What kinds of insurance should I have when you own your own home and are married.?

Please note I am confused about exactly what insurance does what , which ones are actually important. Presently we have a whole life policy insurance, a morgage insurance. Do we need another?""

Why is my car insurance so much cheaper than other companies?

i was looking around for auto insurance to see if there was anything cheaper than what im paying now. im a 20 year old male with a 2005 scion tc. i have been driving for about 2 years and currently use state farm. when i first insured my car 2 years ago, i was paying $148/mo. due to a speeding ticket, it has risen to $194/mo. i also have comprehensive and collision with a $500 deductible. $100,000/$300,000 coverage with full glass also. not complaining, i think this is great i looked at nationwide, allstate, geico, and progressive. these companies are supposed to be so great, but progressive quoted me at $485/mo for the same coverage! the other companies where all in that general area. progressives state minimum coverage plan for me was almost $300/mo. why do these other companies cost so much more? im not complaining about mine, obviously im not gonna switch, but i am curious as to the difference in price.""

Who offer the cheapest car insurance? liabiliy or collision only?

Liability or collision

Do you need to pay for insurance while learning to get permit and after?

Hi, I'm turning 15 and a half in a few days, I live in California, so I can now get my permit. My families financial situation is a little tight, so my mother says I have to wait until my sister is off her insurance, which will be by the summer. My mom says as soon you I receive my permit, she has to add me onto the insurance. Is this correct? And does she need to pay for insurance while I simply attain my permit? I told her after I get my permit, I don't necessarily have to begin driving lessons right away, which in turn means she doesn't need to pay insurance right away. Could someone clear this up for me? Thanks!""

Sue car insurance company?

Hi there. I have a question. I want to SUE my Car insurance company because they refuse to pay for my stolen car which is been more then 6 months and still hasn't been recovered. I was paying full coverage for about 4 months till the moment my Range Rover 1998 was stolen. After filing proper claims i get a letter from my insurance that they denied the claim. The reason why was because i misrepresented myself. and what they meant by that was that when i signed the contract i selected NO in a question ( Has your license ever been suspended or revoked) Now let me explain how this happened. I got the insurance thru my broker. Everything was done by phone. My broker happened to be family of dear friend of mine. At the time i asked for insurance my driver license was suspended already suspended and the reason why was because of child support for which i was going thru courts with my ex. First i decided to insure my car liability and my car was paid in full. On the liability contract it wasn't any question regarding my driver license either was suspended or not. After a week or so i thought to myself that if i get in a accident god forbid and it was my fault i have to may myself for damages and you know for such a car would be very expensive so i asked my broker if i can changed it to full coverage and so they did. on the day i did the change the girl that worked for my broker and assisting me asked me Klodian you are aware your license is suspended. I said yes and i explained the reason y. So she found this insurance company for a low price and she emailed me the contract to sign and fax it to her. now under the questions which i saw of course latter after i was denied claim i saw they were marked all NO and that was done on computer not hand writing. which of course in this case was done by the girl that helped me. Now my broker told me that insurance company should had run your driving record before they issue insurance to you and if they done that they were gone see your driver lisence was suspended. But when my broker asked them why they didnt run it Their answer was that they trusted me based on the contract i signed which to my opinion is BS. Now i want to sue them and all the lawyers they refuse to get my case and my believe is because my car is worth about $4800.00 and they don't see how they can make money out of me and i don't have to pay them up front. Now if i go on small claim max i can go is $3000.00 ????

How can i get very cheap car insurance?

im 17 and i want to buy a small hatchback. ive been considering adding a family member as first driver but i would like ideas on how to make it cheaper with me as a main driver, pleaseeeeee help!!""

""Why is insurance important, 20 pts for the best answer?

Your best friend says they dont think insurance is important. Explain to them why it is important to have insurance. How is having insurance important for successful financial management?

""Hit another car, they have no insurance?""

I was turning left from a stop sign and hit into another car (checked both ways, had some parked cars blocking view but I inched forward to check before driving.) My car only has minor scrapes, his car has a broken headlight and some bumper damage. However, he told me at the time he has no insurance and wanted me to just give him cash on the street. I told him no, I would not pay anything unless we called the police which he did not want to do since he has no insurance. I am fully insured. We ended up both just leaving and I have his license plate number, name, and phone number. He has my license plate number only. Without insurance, can he try to get any money from me? Just wondering if anything should be expected of this situation...""

Will I have to switch my car insurance if I buy a new or used car from a dealer?

My current car is just costing far too much money in repairs for it to be worth it to keep piling money into. I'm a college student, so money isn't exactly plentiful, but its looking right now like I just need a new car, period. I have a decent job, and I could probably afford a car payment of around $200 a month just fine, however I am very concerned about any hidden cost with insurance. My dad told me that if I buy a car from a dealer, then I will have to switch my insurance to full coverage (I'm currently just on my dads insurance, and I only have to pay about $50 a month) but he says that if I get a new or used car from a dealer, I will have to change my insurance coverage and it will cost me more around 150-200 a month in insurance. And if you pair that with a car payment, I simply couldn't afford it and still be able to make rent and whatnot. So I came here to see if he is correct in this. I know there will be taxes, dealer fees, registration costs etc. but Its the insurance part of it that might make it impossible. Also, do I have to have my credit established for a certain amount of time before I can buy a car? I tried to avoid credit cards for as long as I could, so now Im still kind of new in the whole credit game.... Anyways, thank you for taking the time to read my question and hopefully answer it!! It is much appreciated!!""

Does anyone know approx how much insurance rates can be lowered with driving safety courses?

Does anyone know if taking a safe driving course will significantly lower your insurance rates? Thanks! I use Progressive.

What's the best car insurance for a 20 year old female?

Hello! I was wondering if anyone had any suggestions for car insurance policies. I'm a 20 year old female, have had my license for 3+ years, never been in an accident. Could you give me an average monthly rate for insurance for a modest car (think college student income)? Either from personal experience or general knowledge? Thanks so much!""

For Piper Cherokee 140-160 Owners. How much does it cost to insure your plane?

I'm thinking about getting one of these little planes to build time in when I get back to the states. Just curious of insurance cost and things that can burn your wallet during an annual.

How much to lease a car (WITH insurance)?

How much is it to lease an economic car (in Canada please), with insurance calculated into the mix? I am willing to pay 4-500 altogether, is this enough? Practical examples from people who lease their car, with how much they pay, etc, would be most helpful. (I am a recent graduate at the verge of starting an entry-level position). I am looking into VW golf and honda civic (hatchback).""

Motorcycle insurance for an 18 year old?

Realistically, how much would insurance be per year on a 600 cc sportbike for an 18 year old male with no car accidents(if that matters at all)? And what about any other costs? Thanks""

Why is my car insurance quote so high?

I have been to CompareTheMarket for a quote on car insurance, and the cheapest quote was around 5,000 for a car that costs 250. Why is my quote so high? I'm a first time driver living in an area with a fairly high crime rate. After changing the address to my girlfriends the quote came down to 2,000. This is still way too much considering the cost of the car! Is there any way to bring the insurance cost down? I wont be able to afford to drive at this rate.""

State Farm vs. Farmers vs. All State? which is best?

I am seriously considering becoming an insurance agent for State Farm, Farmers or All State, but I don't know which company is the best choice for me, I am bilingual in Spanish, so I am looking for a company that is going after the Hispanic Market. I have heard some bad things about Farmers, so my decision might be State Farm or All State. Nationwide is doing a great advertising campaing in the Spanish market, does anybody know if they offer agency jobs. I am open to other suggestions. Any help/Suggestions is very much appreciated. Gracias""

Auto insurance in florida?

okay heard a rumor that as of october 2007 NO auto insurance is required in the state of florida.... anyone else heard of this ?

Accident in a WalMart parking lot and the other party's insurance denied my claim... any advice?

Hi everyone, I would appreciate your ideas regarding the following situation: My son had a car accident last week in a nearby WalMart parking lot (Dallas, Paulding County, GA). He was driving down a parking lane and hit a car which came out of nowhere cutting across the aisle. Both vehicles had extensive damage (front of the vehicle on our car, and driver side on the other car). There was a gentleman who saw everything and called 911. The sheriff's deputy arrived at the scene promptly. He explained there would be an accident report, but since this happened in a private parking lot, he was not in a position to state who was at fault. I got the report the other day and it states the facts about the accident and gives the contact information for the witness. I have spoken with the other driver's insurance company three times and I just found out that their claims rep has determined that my son was at fault, so they have denied my claim. The claim with them was actually originally filed by the other driver. I politely asked to speak with a supervisor and was advised that I should expect to receive a call from a supervisor soon. I did not get a chance to talk to my insurance rep after I found out the other insurance denied the claim, but I am not sure if there is anything my insurance can do for us, especially given the fact that we only have liablity coverage on this vehicle (no collision coverage either). I think it is really outrageous how they could claim my son was at fault, if all evidence points to the fact that their insured was driving across the parking lanes and obviously did not see our car. I cannot find anything online (like traffic regulations) that explicitly says that the driver cutting across the parking lanes is at fault if there is a collision, but I think it is common sense that this should be the responsible party! If anyone has had a similar experience, or has any suggestions, your help will be very much appreciated!""

My car insurance may get cancelled soon, I paid for the full year in full, if they cancel my policy will they keep my money?

I told them that I was a student, which i'm not, and now they've found out, so they may cancel my policy

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/affordable-insurance-near-me-luis-bell/"

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BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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Who do you think has the best car insurance rates?

How much would an '89 Mercedes 300e cost for insurance?

So my dad has found a really good deal on a potential car for me in really good condition. It's a 1989 Mercedes Benz 300e. Do you think that since this is a 22 year old car that it'd be a ridiculous amount to insure because of the Mercedes badge? Or do you think I could afford it with a job? My insurance company would be allstate, on my parents plan, I have a 4.0GPA and I plan on taking drivers ed. Advice?""

Roughly how much will my insurance premium increase if i totaled my car?

I have AAA full coverage with a 1000 deductible. On Saturday night, I totaled my car by losing control and slamming into the wall to avoid some idiot hitting my passenger side (with my friend sitting there). I'm 18 years old and I've had my license for almost three years (three years in January) and I've never a ticket or been in any other accident and in this accident, no other vehicle had contact with my car. I'm sorta just looking for a rough estimate on how much my insurance will go up. I currently pay 1,500 a year. Thanks in advancee.""

How much does DMV charge for the 30 day car insurance?

Driving without insurance?

I can't afford insurance for the truck I got, it's registered in my dads name and is legal, but what happens if I get caught with out insurance?""

Should I wait until I am 25 or 26 to start driving a car again? Is it true about Insurance costs? Please read?

Hello, I am 21 and in college. I am in Northeast Illinois. I have not driven a car since I was 17. This is because I did miserably in driver education. I passed the classroom, so technically I passed driver ed, but the driving I failed miserably. My parents won't let me be behind the wheel of their cars again. I talked with a friend of mine recently and she said that the cost of driving insurance in Illinois is dramatically less when a driver turns 25 or 26. I am thinking that maybe I should start driving again at age 25 or 26 so I can keep costs down (especially in a nasty economy like this country has right now). Now, here's the other thing, my dad has cancer (leukemia), he's the one who gives me rides to places, my mom doesn't want to give me rides because she is still angry at me for what I did when I was 17. She said to me You're not driving again, ever. You lied to me. You disobeyed our orders and was arrogant. You're done. I don't care about your behaviors anymore Yeah, she hasn't changed since what I did at age 17. My dad has a had time walking, sitting, standing, etc. He has mentioned a couple of times Its not a bad idea that maybe you should think about driving again, you will have to drive some time, son Then I think about the insurance cost and how much of a hassel it would be. So, should I do it? Should I wait until I am 25 or 26 to start driving again? Should I wait longer? It seems like my mom won't forgive me and my dad has this cancer making it hard on him. I don't know what to do. Thanks""

How to these rich boy racers who are like 18-19 afford the insurance on aventadors and audi r8's?

How do they get quoted at such a young age on supercars,I understand money's not a problem for them so it doesn't matter what the price is but if I wanted 2litre audi at my age (17) a insurance company wouldn't even quote me""

I need a good a affordable health insurance plan for a family of four?

In Massachusetts, I need it ASAP""

Will my insurance rate go up if I was hit by an uninsured motorist?

I was rear-ended while at a stop light, by an uninsured motorist. I am not sure how much damage was done but it does look like the tow package may have bent my frame. I do not have collision and my truck is a really nice '94 Silverado that runs and looks great! So my fear is having the truck be labeled Salvaged and also having my insurance rate go up. Does anyone know answers to those two concerns?""

Looking for a cool car but cheap on the insurance?

im 17, looking for a cool car have a budget of about 8000, but i need the insurance cheap because some of the ones i was checking out were ridiculous any ideas? thanks""

Is it possible to argue with the insurance company against totaling the car?

The insurance company wants to total the car. I do not. The insurance adjuster's estimate and the body shop's estimate is below the insurance company's valuation of the car (even adjusting for the insurance company's salvage value). The policy defines when they can total the car, when the repair cost is greater than the value + salvage value. It is not there yet. The insurance company is also cheating by unreasonably saying the value is low but even with that, the repair is less. How to I go about changing an insurance company bureaucracy so that they follow the policy?""

""I'm 16 , how much with motor cycle insurance be?""

As it says above, I'm curious on how much it will be? cheaper than car insurance , or more? im from phoenix arizona. good grades , clean record . so if anyone knows how to help?""

How about Universal Auto insurance?

Universal Dental, universal home insurance, universal life insurance, universal pet medical insurance, universal flood insurance, universal renters insurance. Wouldn't it be a good idea to have the government provide all insurance to everybody? There couldn't be problems with that right? ( please note heavy sarcasm )""

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""Insurance rates for a 21 year old male, CA?""

I got my license when I was 19. I've been driving for two and a half years and barely found out I am not on my parents insurance. I was planning on buying a brand new car but I am now worried about insruance rates. I know they'll be high, but how high. I know insurance rates are based on age and experience. Is it likely I will be charged more because I have never been insured? Last time I checked for insurance I got calls for about 5 weeks straight. This time I don't want to give out any personal information. My question basically is will never previously having insurance before affect my rates?""

Buying a motorcycle and insurance?

Might be a weird question. I plan on getting a bike. To get insurance on a bike do you need the title and everytbing under your name first? And if I buy from a dealer, how do I get it home without insurance? You need a bike to get insurance but you need insurance to drive it home from the dealer. How does it work if I make sense.""

Is Physician's Mutual a good insurance to buy on your own?

My family currently has no medical insurance and I received information in the mail on Physicians Mutual Insurance Company and wanted to know if anyone has used them and if they are affordable for a family?

Looking for good car for insurance?

Im looking to get a new car but i was wondering if there was a website that listed how much insurance might run me. dont really need exact priceing just looking for ballpark figuer.

What would my allstate car insurance be?

im a 16 year old female. i went through driver's ed (so you're suppose to get a discount) and my mom had been a member of allstate for at least 10 years with no accidents or anything. so im wondering, about how much would MY car insurance be?""

What are the minimum legal requirements for auto insurance in california ?

How can I lower my auto insurance rate in California?

Details: Licensed at 19/Now 25yrs old. I have a clean record but can't afford full coverage because it's in the thousands. Is it pricey for me because I'm Asian? I don't get it, I hear about people being fully covered for a whole year for less than $1200, but I only have basic coverage and I'm paying $1100 per year. Can anyone help?""

Explanation for Insurance quote in Oregon?

Hi folks, I just moved to Oregon from CA. I got a quote from State Farm which suits my need. I just got a quote from an agent. She mentioned something like this in the quote. I have me and my wife as drivers. Automobile liability with W/P $25000 50/100/50. I mean to ask what does W/P $25000 mean? Is it mandatory to have PIP in Oregon? Thanks for your help.""

Is there affordable health insurance out there for someone who has had high blood pressure?

Does anybody know of a company that will insure me daily on hire and reward insurance?

I want to run a one vehicle WAV (wheel chair accessible vehicle for disabled people) car hire/rental business serving Hertfordshire the customer would hire the car and arrange for a person to drive it for them. On the odd occasion the hirer does not have anybody to drive the car for them they might want me to drive for them I have been told to do this I would need a private vehicle hire licence (mini cab drivers licence) also hire and reward insurance along with a mini cab office operators licence and the vehicle would need to be plated (tested) This is not a problem except for the hire and reward insurance which would be about 3000 per year and would not be cost effective for the amount of driving I would be doing (I would probably only be driving a customer 1 day per week). Does anybody know of a company that will insure me daily on hire and reward insurance?

Life insurance at 25 years of age.?

I am twenty five and would like to put my mom in life insurance. Is this possible and what would I have to do to put her in life insurance?

How much on average would insurance be on a Grand Prix? (For a 17-year old)?

Are they considered sedans or sports cars? I think I would go through State Farm, with the good grade/safe driver book. Does anyone have experience insuring one? It would be anywhere from 1997-2003 model with about 100,000 miles on it. Thank you!""

What is the cheapest Mitsubishi lancer insurance wise?

I want a Mitsubishi that looks nice, a bit like an evo, without the crazy insurance price or high speed engine. Any suggestions. I'm 19 and have been driving just over a year.""

Cheapest car insurance?

who is the cheapest car insurance provider in the uk?I only have one year no claims bonus and I just purchased a vw bora 2.0 and the insurence quotes are pretty high so far

Car accident I have liability the other involved had no insurance?

I got into a car accident today which pretty much totalled out the back half of my van, seeing as the insurance agent will probably call it as totalled out. Here is my question the other party told us that he had no insurance at all and I only carry liability insurance whats going to happen with my vehicle, how are my damages going to be paid?""

How much do you spend monthly on Repairs and Maintenance for your car?

Question is pretty straight forward: How much do you spend monthly on Repairs and Maintenance for your car? (Don't include insurance or gas) Thanks

Why are pickup trucks so cheap to insure?

i went to go look at a truck that is 10 years newer than my ford explorer. it was a ford f150 even with full coverage its still lower. the insurance for the explorer is nearly $2,000 a year. and the f150 is $1800 a year even with a big powerful V8""

How much should i be paying for car insurance in the state of ohio?

I am 17 years old im a male i drive a 2000 chevrolet blazer i have no accidents no tickets and i get decent grades

Asking all female drivers under 25- Whats a cheap car insurer?

Asking all female drivers under 25!! Does anyone know of or have been with any cheap car insurance companies? Ive already checked quite a few but they seem really expensive...Please help!

How much is motorcycle insurance for a 21 year old?

I'm 21 and I'm gonna get a motorcycle I just wanted to know how much some of you 21 year olds pay for motorcycle insurance

How can I get cheaper motorbike insurance?

I know postcode makes it cheaper/dearer, but can anyone Please tell me what else puts the price up? Thanks""

My car insurance is too high under parent's name?

My sister added her car under my mom's insurance and they pay for both cars $347 dollars 6 months for just liability coverage. When I tried to add myself to my mom ...show more

Can insurance cost less on a motorcycle with a restriction kit ?

I want to know will insurance cost less on a 600 bike if you put a restriction kit on it. Also will it make a 600 a good first bike to start on. I know some motorcycle licenses have 33 HP limits and people still can get 600's and put restriction kits on them to keep the power down to make them good first bikes.

Car insurance - What's the car worth?

In the past when ever i've been asked by insurance companies what my car is worth i've always told them the amount that i think i could realisticly sell it for (what its worth? or so i thought) If i was to sell my car i would be able to get around 1200-1300, which is what i would say 'it's worth', HOWEVER, recently after putting my reg number into a price comparison website it automatically came up with a value of just 700. (My car has low milege, fsh and is in v good condition so is worth more than average) So my question is, if i tell them it's worth say 1250, take out their policy and then i write it off, what will they pay? The amount i told them or 'their' valuation. Also, am i paying a higher premium than i should because i'm telling them it's true value instead of their lower valuation? and if so, how many other people are doing this?""

Will applying for medicaid affect the insurance I have now in any way?

I am 32 weeks pregnant and I am covered under my dad's insurance through Tricare. I remain eligible under his insurance until I am 23 and everything is full coverage. However, as soon as my baby is born he is not covered at all. I am looking into my options and I read that if I apply for medicaid now, then I can call the day my baby is born and just have him added on so that way he will have coverage right away. I am worried if I do try and apply for medicaid now that it will affect the insurance I am covered under now by Tricare. I do want to stay under tricare, I do not want to lose this insurance and its coverage if that is the case. I am also worried that since I have to wait until the baby is born to apply him for his own insurance through CHIP or Medicaid - whichever one he ends up qualifying - that I will have to wait a long time before he is actually covered and I know the baby is going to need check ups and a pediatrician right away. I am really worried about all this and wondering what is my best option and what I should do! Will I lose my insurance if I apply for Medicaid in advanced so my baby will be covered right away? Is my best option waiting until the day he is born and then applying? I also live in PA if that makes any difference. Anybody who can help out, thanks!""

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Can a car insurance company ask you if you have health insurance when you make a claim?

I was in an accident recently and the other insurance company asked me if I had health insurance. I was not at fault. Can they do that?

Is serenity insurance a ligitimate company?

Cheap auto insurance

How do i find out the laws of car insurance policies in the state of RI?

If my insurance company in ri has totaled my car can my sales tax be refunded

How much roughly will it cost me to get insure on a Volkswagen Golf?

I'm a 17 year old boy, just wanting a ROUGH ESTIMATE on how much it will cost me to get insured on a Volkswagen Golf 1.8 litre.""

Motorcycle accident - How much insurance money will I get?

I recently had an accident on my motorbike where a car did a U-turn in front of me and I went over the handlebars. I fractured my heel, broke a finger and tore the ligaments in my legs. I've been in pain since it happened and am only just getting well enough after 2 Months to walk without crutches. I have not had any sick pay as I work for agencies and have lost around 500 a week. This has almost caused me to lose my house. I want to know how much money I should expect to get as a payout? I'm not expecting to be back at work for a few weeks yet and I still have limited movement in my legs (I can't crouch down).""

Question about car insurance...?

Me and my partner are looking to buy a car. He is the only one who drives and so the insurance would be for him. We have noticed that all insurance policies ask whether you have any children under the age of 16. If the answer to this question is 'yes' it significantly increases the insurance quote. I am currently 15 weeks pregnant and so at the time we take out the policy we will not have any children. Would it be ok for us say no to the question about children as technically we wont have any? Thanks

How can I get cheap insurance on a Renault Clio?

I'm 17 and am getting a Renault Clio 1.2 as my first car. Is there any good insurers or ways of reducing the insurance at my age? Preferably not with a box though! Thanks

""My car was totaled, can I haggle with the insurance company?""

My car was totaled and the insurance is only offering me $11,500, but the same car (year/make/model) with same mileage on it ranges from $13,500 - $15,000 in my area. Can I haggle with them to give me more? I have not yet accepted the $11,500, I tried to tell them, but they keep saying they won't give me more, shall I ask for a supervisor, I don't know if insurance companies are starting off low and you can drive it up a bit?""

Auto insurance In australia?

im moving over to aussie soon im thinking of getting a 2nd hand car. i have been driving for 10 odd years. am 33 yrs i want to know how much does it cost for auto insurance in aussie(melbourne). any brands you would recommend? here in singapore we pay ard $1030 for driving many years and WITHOUT any accidents. if your in accident and its our fault they reset the amount back to 1300-1500 per year pls advice.

""My son's 16 and i need help on the car insurance, help please!?""

My son's 16, he's taken drivers ed. he's done his on roads. I live in Massachusetts. I'm now buying him a Land Rover Range Rover, or a Mercedes, or a Saab 9-7x (Saab's will be 06 - 08 for year), or Cadillac Escalade. These would be about 02 - 05's maybe even an 00 - 01. (I don't want to buy him a new car for his first car, obviously) So what would the insurance cost on those cars? and also, put your personal input on which car you think is best. Also, which car would be easiest to fix? Thanks everyone!""

Auto insurance?

My car was hit about a month ago and I'm still strugling with the insurance company. I was not at fault and my claim was denied because the insurance company can't get in contact with the policy holder (obviously doesn't want to take responsiblity). I think it's a bunch of bull---. Is this possible?

Does motorcycle insurance help future auto insurance?

Does taking DUI class help reduce insurance rate?

I'm working on getting a driver license and wondering whether my prospective insurance rate will be lowered (even just a tad) if I take some DUI classes. I'm 19 and abiding in Georgia.

I have a WA state license and got a speeding ticket in NY state -- will my insurance rates go up?

The officer who issued the ticket in NY said that it was a 3 point violation (14 mph over the speed limit). But WA state does not have a points system. Will my insurance premiums go up? I have a bare bones Geico policy.

Wrecked my moms car and another car with no insurance?

I got in an accident eariler this week. I went to turn a corner and hit the brakes too hard and hit a Prius coming up to a 3 way stop. I admitted it was completely my fault but the thing is I dont have my lisence or insurance so I was fined a total of $1224 plus the damages to my moms car and the car I hit and aparently medical bills now too? I asked the lady after I hit her if she was okay and EMS was on scene and asked her if she was okay and she said she was fine but now Im getting a call from her insurance company stating I have to cover medical and vehical damages and I really have no idea what to do. I dont understand how this lady thinks she can possibly get any money out of me. My moms disabled and not working. She makes $400 a month and myself I can barely scrounge up enough money for gas to get to work. Its gonna be hell just to pay off the ticket let alone everything else so my question is what would you do in this situation? Take it to court? Get a lawyer? (which I cant afford either)

Cheap car insurance for Land Rover Discovery?

I'm about to buy a 03 Disco and was wondering what everyone is paying for car insurance. I'm 25 with no accidents on my record, but the quotes I keep getting seem to be outrageous. I'm just curious if that is common or if there is a company with decent full coverage rates for discoveries. Thanks for the help""

A question about car insurance in California?

The other day I recieved a letter in the mail that said I need to go get my car insured or it could be suspended. I want to get the cheapest insurance possible (state minimum). What company has the cheapest insurance and how much can I expect to pay per month?

How much will it cost me to repair a paint less dent on a Nissan Sentra?

My car was recently hit without my knowledge. No one saw it and it happened while I was parked. The dent is right above the body of the tire frame and its about two inches wide. My question is will my insurance pay for it? And if not how much will a repair like this cost me? The car is Nissan Sentra 2012.

""I broke my brand new phone 2days after i got it, and i was still able to get insurance. Can i replace my phone?

I dripped my phone in a river 2 days after i got it. I called them and they said i can get insurance(but didnt tell them i broke it) i waited a few days and i was wondering if i can replace my phone?

How do I enforce my rights according to Ca Auto Ins. Law without an attorney.?

Their insurance accepted fault immediately. I have rights according to CA Auto Ins. Law, but Geico acts like they do not have to adhere to my rights under California Insurance law. The CA Ins board is watching, but they will not answer this and other questions.""

What cheap classic car would you recommend for a 17 year old?!?

I turn 17 in October and so i have began to start looking for cars and the insurance that it will cost me. from looking on go-compare, i've found that the cheapest cars to insure are old classics like the VW beetle or Rover mini. I would really like to know if there are any other cool looking classic cars out on the market that would suit a 17 year old? they will have to have a small sized engine as well. recommendations would be great! thanks""

Can a health insurance company deny emergency medical coverage based on the final diagnosis?

I went to the emergency room for symptoms suggesting a life-threatening illness. It turned out I did not have a life-threatening illness and the ER doctor diagnosed something much ...show more

Recommendations for scooby car insurance?

Im 19 and am looking to buy a new car. I really want a subaru impreza, not too fussy which! wil have to be second hand, probably around 98-99 year of manufacture but insurance is scary! will prob go under my parents name but was just wondering if anyone knows of a company which insure scoobys relatively cheaply""

What insurance company in California will insure me when wood is my primary heat source?

Cost of insurance for minor with acura rsx-s?

oh fyi I am not trying to get my own insurance plan I am adding on to my family's

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Does anyone know cheap car insurance for ladies?

Car insurance quote sites not recognising vehicle reg?

Hi my partner is thinking of buying a car and we're looking at gocompare.com and confused.com but we are not getting anywhere as neither website recongise either the vehicle registration number or the make and model of the car! we know it is genuine as we have done a vehicle check on it. any ideas why we can't get quotes? it's a nissan pickup from 1999. many thanks

Is an acura integra cheap on insurance?

my son is thinking of buying one

""I'm a female unemployed, living in upstate NY & need affordable health insurance! Desperate for suggestions!?""

I have been unemployed over a year. Although I am collecting unemployment benefits, I work a job per diem (usually 1-2 days per wk. which means I can't collect full unemployment benefits). I can't afford private pay insurance i.e. Healthy NY etc & don't financially qualify for Medicaid. Are there any other options? I would hate for a catastrophic illness to dictate my coverage & thus spend the rest of my life paying off medical bills!""

Divorce and custody questions in California?

My soon to be ex husband and I have a 3 month old son. I know we can work out the custody agreement but if either of us get married again, can the step parent adopt the child as their own even though both biological parents have custody? Also if not, is there a way to give the step parents rights to the child like authorizing medical care, to be on the step parents insurance, ect...""

Best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro?

best insurance company for a 16 year old driving a v6 or v8 camaro? my thought is that while a v6 camaro might be reasonable to insure a 16 year old driver with, the v8 wouldbe some unuearthly figure in the 8 digits. i know its based on SO many things, but im just asking if anyone has a HUNCH about what insurance company is the best/cheapest for a teen driving a camaro? assume its a v8, ad it cant get any worse if it ended up being a v6, if you know what i mean. btw dont say american faimily. they wont even insure a person with less than 5 years driving experience driving a v8 camaro AT ALL, let alone at a huge rate. finally, do you think there is any way on earth for insurance for a 16year old driving a (2000 lets just say for example) camaro v8? including all the little bonuses like good grades, clean record, etc. all of which i have. thanks so much for your answers! they REALLY help!""

Could I swap my 50cc scooter's insurance to another bike?

Hey everyone, I was wondering if I sold or swapped my 50cc scooter and got a 50cc geared bike could I get the insurance from the scooter and put it on the new geared 50cc? If so would it affect anything? or cost me money? Would be a massive help if someone could help me out! Thank you for advance :) Information which might be helpful: I paid for 1 year in one payment (annually). I paid for the insurance last month so I still have a lot of insurance time left. Don't want to waste money!""

Do I have to pay for insurance on a moving van rental?

I want to rent a moving van from Uhaul. They won't let me rent the van unless I pay for their insurance coverage. Is that legal?

How much is it for car insurance for a 16 yrs old in long island ny?

i am gonna be driving a ford station wagon 1989 escort

How to get cheaper car insurance?

im 17 and just passed my driving test, Ive got a 1.4l Peugeot 106 but I can't find car insurance any cheaper than about 3500 no matter where I look! I've spent hours looking online but it's all too expensive. Anyone know any cheaper insurance companies or have any tips??""

I NEED A CAR INSURANCE EXPERT!!!?

I'm a first time driver (with provisional license)... I don't get it, why does insurance cost more (4000 - progressive) for 2005 Nissan Frontier then for a 2003 BMW z4 (2500 - Progressive).... and its not only that, it costs less for a corvette then for a v6 mustang... And its like that for all insurance companies from e-surance to Geico, can anyone explain why or if it even will be that much less?!?!? i mean its more for a BMW 325 4dr (2900 - progressive) then for the BMW z4... How is this possible... Will it cost even less if i get it on my mom's policy? BTW i know BMW are expensive to maintain, but i got a job that i believe will cover everything... do they make z4 4 cylinders or is it only 6? Based on the lowest type of insurance that an 17 year old can get from internet quotes... Ty in advance!""

CAR INSURANCE FOR 18 YEAR OLD GIRL?

Planning to buy a car. Prefably Vauxhall Corsa or Toyota Yaris. How much would the insurance be. Corsa is 3E and Toyota is 2E but toyota is more expensive to buy compared to the corsa. How much approximately would insurance cost for 3E or 2E insurance group for an 18 year old female in london? Any cars you would recommend as a first car? Cheap insurance? Thanks

What companies offer dental insurance in california?

""What would motorcycle insurance cost for 17 yr old guy, kawasaki ninja 250R?""

what would an average motorcycle insurance cost for me? i am looking for a ball-park estimate and understand that there are MANY other factors which matter... If anyone has an idea, what would be like the MAX price for a good insurance... i've seen that insurance prices can range from 200-400 yearly, but i want to make sure that after i get the motorcycle i dont find that the insucance is like 1000 /yr. Thanks""

Car insurance when go to college?

i'll be living in the dorm for college this fall, and my parents decide to cut my car insurance since i only come home for thanksgiving(7 days), winter break(1 month), spring break(10 days), and summer(2 months). is it possible to buy insurance temporarily for those breaks that i come back? thanks""

How much does scooter insurance cost in Ontario?

Hello all, I am buying Vespa LX 150ie soon (it has a 150cc engine with a top speed of 95 km/h) and would like to know how much insurance costs in Ontario. I am 18 years old, single, male, and have my M1, and most likely my M2 soon. Let me know if you have any info.""

Auto insurance for a 16 turning 17 year old for a 2003 mustang gt?

I'm just wondering how much it will be. I have a 2001 v6 at the moment and my parents pay for my insurance and they don't know for sure how much it even is for my little sixer (they insure 5 vehicles) can anyone help me out? I live in new jersey

How to see a doctor without health insurance?

im a student living in southern california. i havent seen a doctor in years because i cant afford health insurance, but recently ive noticed that i may have an issue that should be checked out by a doctor. how do i go about seeing one? what do i do? where should i go? any advice or tips would be very helpful. at this point i dont care how much debt i have to incur to do it, i just need to do it. thanks.""

Why would my auto insurance increase?

The insurance on my 09 Mitsubishi Lancer went up over $100 since last year. I did not make any claims, was in any accidedents or anything like that. I did not move. I did not have anything done to the car which could cause the insurance to increase. So why would my insurance increase? I am over 40 yrs old and ever since I've been driving and with all the cars I've owned, most of them new, I never had an insurance increase on the same vehicle. It always decreased from year to year on the same vehicle. Never went up. I want to get some opinions here first and maybe get a legitimate explanation before I call my insurance agent and ask why they increase my rate or look to find a different insurer.""

""Why is it that I am still able to be sued for an auto accident if I live in Florida, a no-fault state?""

I've been in 2 accidents. The first was very minor; I rolled into the bumper in the car in front of me at a stop light and scratched their bumper. No damage was sustained to my car, but I am at-fault. The second I was cutting through an intersection that was at a red light and was about to pull into the left-turn lane when the woman in the car that was coming down the lane wasn't looking forward and hit the driver side door of my car. I was already halfway in the lane trying to straighten out into the left-turn lane but I couldn't move when she was coming, because if I moved back I might have hit someone and if I went forward she would have hit me anyway. At the scene the policewoman told me I was at fault, but when I talked to my claims adjuster, she told me that there is some negligence on the other party's part because if I had just randomly pulled out into traffic, the other party would have hit the front of my car, not the driver-side door. I am being sued by the first person and I found out just now I am being sued by the person in the second accident as well. I was told that since I am registered under my parents insurance, the other party can see that they have a lot of assets they can sue for from my parents. My question is, why are they able to sue me so easily? I've done research, and I know Florida is a no-fault state, meaning drivers cannot sue each other unless serious injury occurred, such as loss of life, limb, permanent injury, etc. In both accidents, I did not get ticketed, and I believe no police report was written, only exchanges of information.(Police were called, however. I did not leave the scene) Also both of the other parties did not ask for an ambulance or medical assistance(I know about the feeling pain later thing) but I'm sure if someone was suing for something as serious that can be listed as loss of limb or death, they would have showed some indication of injury at the scene. Both people stepped out of their cars and were fine, however.""

""What is the best rate (cheapest) for basic liability car insurance in ontario , primmum insurance told me?""

thier rates is 135.00 / month and i have perfect driving record ,can any one help me plz""

Insurance on a ninja 250?

Hey I have been looking for my first bike and since I have no experience shifting and riding I want a small bike so I was thinking a ninja 250. From what I have seen they have plenty of power for me, and in my price range so I was wondering how much these cost to insure? I have allstate for my car if that matters? thanks a lot. and please don't tell me I need to be safe... I am already signed up for my permit class and a safety class. and I am no wheelie riding 100mph rider... just looking to commute and go for rides. Thanks""

Cheaper car insurance in CA (san diego)???

my husband just bought an 03 toyota tacoma 4 cyl extra cab and is also lifted. he is 20 and due to financing the truck we had to purchase full coverage. we are both covered and currently have geico and pay $535 every 6months. is there anything cheaper???

Can I save money on insurance?

If I get hired as a Medical Assistant, can I use that to my advantage on car insurance and get a discount? I am currently in sales and might get a job offer as a Medical Assistant here soon. I am graduated from an accredited program and have my Certification. Thanks, for your time!""

Cheap learner car insurance?

Cheapest place to get cheap learner car insurance?

louisiana insurance agent lookup

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-companies-florida-jose-graham/"

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sizzlingcrusadebouquetfan-blog · 6 years ago

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Someone with a manual transmission car rolled back and hit me.?

"Someone with a manual transmission car rolled back and hit me.?

Insurance says it is 50/50 fault because I was too close and the guy had a video camera in the back. Why is it 50/50 even though I was stationary?

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://financeandcreditsolutions.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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which company is best for comprehensive car insurance in UK? thanks very much for your time

Cheapest car insurance????

looking for a cheap car insurance guys, plz help""

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well im a full time college student so i can't pay for my car insurance at the moment. whats the requirements for putting myself as a second driver to my parents car? ive had one car accident and been cancelled twice in my own name to 2 different car insurance. (family member passed away and i had to use the cash to go abroad) anyways.. will that effect me to putting me as a second driver to my parents car?? .. (with their name on the car) i mean.. my parents will pay for me so i dont see the problem for me getting rejected by the insurance for my prior non payment cancelation. please help me.

I hit someones car who doesn't have car insurance?

so at school in the parking lot i hit a parked car and left it there. a hit and run i guess. i told someone who told the girl. so she told me she would go halfs with me on the damages. the damages is $1,000. i asked her again if she would go halfs with me and she said she couldnt. i dont have $1000 and i found out she doesnt even have car insurance (through someone else). i live in MA and its illegal if you dont have car insurance. your license will be suspended. so im trying to get her to admit that she doesnt have car insurance. so then what do i do? any advice?""

""Can you recommend a good house insurance company for Houston, Texas?

Looking to buy a new insurance policy for my house

Car insurance question?

I just payed my car insurance in full From January till May and i want to change my insurance company because i got a better offer from another company. My question is can i cancel the one i have right now and switch to the new company and if i do will i get my money back from the insurance company i have right now? How does that work? or do i have to stay insured with them till my insurance expires?

Someone with a manual transmission car rolled back and hit me.?

Insurance says it is 50/50 fault because I was too close and the guy had a video camera in the back. Why is it 50/50 even though I was stationary?

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/insurance-picture-quotes-raymond-hanson/"

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fadingpersoncollectorstuff-blog · 6 years ago

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How much would it typically cost to replace basically an entire front end of a car?

"How much would it typically cost to replace basically an entire front end of a car?

I was hit by a car shooting out of a drive way and it totaled my buick le sabre. I want to know so that i dont get jipped by his insurance.

BEST ANSWER: Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr

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I am wanting to buy insurance for my child. He is no longer covered by his old plan and I want to get it ASAP. Without having company/ group coverage as an option I have been looking at EHealth online services. It can be a little confusing on just exactly which is the right deal. My child is never sick and has no existing issues, but with all the sport; I just don't want to be facing a broken leg and no insurance. I could some advise here. I have all but pulled the trigger on a package I found through Humana (I think) on the E health site but I just would like an nonbias opinion first. Thanks""

How much does car insurance cost.?

I am 18 and ready to get my drivers license but how much does car insurance cost per month on average.?

Car Insurance?

I'm a first time driver over 25, used car 2001 ford focus, central fl. how much should the insurance cost?""

Gieco insurance rate?

Ok I got a auto quote and I lied on the online form I said I have no tickets and car crashes.I do have some Im 18 years old And If I chose this company will they find the tickets? I did give my social number.

Where can I get free health insurance?

Medicare and medicaid turned me down. I'm diabetic, and unemployed at the moment. Anyone know where I can get free insurance? Thanks!""

""When it comes to your car insurance, when is it cheaper to let your kids get their licences?

is it smarter to wait until they are 18; if they get their licence before they are 18 do your rates go up higher or lower then if they waited until they're 18.

What are the best car insurance comparison sites you have used in London?

Car insurance help buying car but insurance is costing way too much...?

My mom has a 2002 explorer and she is going to cosign for me on either a g35 or a 350z, insurance is ridiculous on both cars(Z and G35, both the explorer and my car will be on the same policy, I got a quote for both cars being about 300 a month, is there any way to lower the cost of insurance, like switching primary cars around and I will be insured, I am currently on the policy but with adding my car insurance will go up right? Because it is a sports car...the total I am spending on the car is 10k, I live in California btw, I am just curious how this all goes into effect and how much it will raise my insurance cost""

Ridiculously high car insurance quotes?

My renewal quote from Admiral was 1,300 and shopping around most were higher. Best I got was just over 700 with Allianz. I own a 2,500 10-year-old Rover 75. Everyone I ask pays about 200 - 300 whether old or newer cars, powerful and sporty or economical family cars. My brother, 2 years younger who has points on his licence and owns a 3L BMW pays about 250. I tried my details with his postcode out of interest on the Allianz site and my quote was 300 more (over 1,000) than with my own postcode. Why is this and how can I get my quotes down?""

Health insurance.?

I need affordable health insurance.Where to find one? Thanks!!!

What are some good health insurance plans?

We're trying to find one with low Coinsurance, I can't afford to pay 50% on a surgery -_- Anything good and affordable you guys recommend for families?""

Which insurance is better?

Which insurance is better health or life?

Car insurance question?

My dad has full coverage on his car, my brother's ex wife has her car insured with his address. She doesn't live there, but is using his address for her car insurance purposes. His premium keeps going up, although its two different premiums, does it affect him because she is also using the same address? My dad is 70, and this girl is 27. Thanks""

Auto insurance : which company do you recommend?

We want to switch car insurance...our current one is so expensive! Any recommendations please?Thank you so much.

Were can I buy cheap insurance to reg a 1966 Vw bug?

I live in daytona florida

Car insurance!! help?

I'm 17 years old and live in the UK. I want to buy a chevrolet camaro 2010 v6 when I am 19 but I'm worried how much insurance I have to pay. My friend told me it's going to be more than the car, and the car cost around 30,000. Can anyone tell me which group the car belongs to and how much insurance I would need to pay? I want this to be my first car but I want another car to gain experience. Please give me a good car that would look nice for a 18 year old. I am quite tall and I don't really like small cars because it feels uncomfortable for me? please suggest a good car that would suit a tall guy. thank you""

How to approach a car insurance company to pay damages to my car?

Okay, I was involved in an accident a month ago. I was at the train station attempting to street park, I saw a car parked in the middle of the side walk and a private house driveway, I looked very carefully and no one was in the car, as I was backing up into the parking space I felt the impact on my passenger side back door, I didn't know what it was until I realized the car on the driveway had backed up into my car. The driver stated that he saw me attempting to park when he was walking to his car but he thought I saw him getting into his car, he said he was in a hurry and was late for work and I should have waited for him to get out first (he had a big ego). I never saw anyone in the car. I am the kind of person that I would have waited and then proceed. Meanwhile I only have liability coverage. My insurance company said that he was at fault- they will not pay for his damages $800. His insurance co. wont pay for mine because they said is 50 - 50 faults, my damages are $1,800 door damages estimated by the other driver claim adjuster. I dont have $1,800 to spend in fixing my car. 2005 Nissan Altima. How can I fight the other party insurance co. to pay for my damages?""

How much does it cost on average to insure your license?

through any insurance company. :) I just want to know how much on average.

How much is an MRI without insurance?

How much is an MRI without: insurance, for the left leg, & in NY.""

LEARNER PROVISIONAL DRIVING INSURANCE?? HELP!!?

Hi everyone, i bought a car today...and i would like to insure myself on a provisional licence (UK ONLY) for my car. I have looked up cheap temporary insurance...but it needs to already be insured by another driver. I am the ONLY driver of this car. I do not want to put anyone else's name on it. I would like to insure it for 2-3 months, as i am nearly ready to pass my test. Can anyone tell me good sites? Ive already been on provisional marmalade and covered learner ....but they can only insure you on someone elses car. I will be the only person driving my car, i am the legal owner. I am only 18 and need something cheap for 2-3 months till i pass my test. Please help! Thankyou!!""

How much would it typically cost to replace basically an entire front end of a car?

I was hit by a car shooting out of a drive way and it totaled my buick le sabre. I want to know so that i dont get jipped by his insurance.

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/farm-bureau-insurance-quotes-arkansas-william-russell/"

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