#card and i argued that im a FUCKING adult so she should give me respect too and then neither of us can handle not having the last word bc

[earmo-imni]

My mom is a reactive-as-hell petty-ass motherfucker and I am sick of her damn bullshit

[futures-tense]

Would you be interested in writing a fic where Gwen has has the baby (and it’s Owen’s). The 126 are in the waiting room and tk overhears them joke about not letting this one near drugs or something and he runs out crying to Carlos and the 126 go to give Gwen and Owen a piece of their mind? Sorry it’s so long/specific x

This took me a long time, and im sorry, but I hope this is what you had in mind 🙃

also- unrelated- but this is how I found out that my sister and best friend learned to play poker while i was in the surgery once so fhfbf

TW: Substance addiction mention,

Since I Wasn’t Born Perfect//1.3k//

"Dad, drive faster!"

“Tk, I'm already speeding."

TK pursed his lips and trained his eyes on his mother again. "Breathe, mom."

"Owen, if you don't drive faster," she manages from the passenger seat. She's holding TK's hand tightly over her shoulder. "I swear to god, I'll-"

She lets out a cry and tightens her hold on TK, who winces slightly. He feels his phone buzzing next to him and he smiles at the name flashing across the screen.

"Hey, babe- ow!" He pulls his hand out of Gwyn's grip and switches his phone to his now throbbing hand.

"Is everything okay?" He can hear the concern in Carlos's voice.

"Yeah, sort of. I can't talk long though."

"TK."

He smiles slightly. "Mom went into labor; we're on our way to the ER."

"Oh," Carlos says. "Do you need-"

"No, finish your shift," TK insists as they pull up to the hospital. "I've got to go. Be safe, I love you."

"I love you too, cariño. Text me updates."

TK shoves his phone into his pocket and helps his mom out of the car. He slips into paramedic mode, spouting all the things that the doctor needs to know. Owen follows her but a nurse steps in front of TK apologetically.

"I'm so sorry, but I need you to wait in the waiting room."

He opens his mouth to argue but nods instead. She leads him to a room full of chairs and panicked families where he sits by himself, leg bouncing wildly. What feels like an eternity later, the rest of the 126 shows up.

"How's she doin'?" Judd asks, sitting next to him. TK just shrugs and tugs at the strings of his hoodie.

"They haven't told me anything yet." He frowns for a moment. "Did Dad call you guys?"

Paul shakes his head. "Carlos."

TK smiles. Mateo and Marjan sit on his other side and Mateo pulls out a deck of cards.

"Slap Jack?"

———

"I'm looking for TK Strand?"

After 13 excruciatingly slow hours, the words are music to his ears.

"That-that's me," he says, scrambling to his feet. "Is she okay? Is the baby? Did something go wrong? Is-"

"TK, let her speak," Judd laughs. The doctor smiles a little.

"Everything went fine; they're both okay." TK lets out a breath. "Do you want to go see them?"

"Yes, please."

"Alright, follow me."

When they get to the room, the doctor leaves TK standing in the doorway. His parents are watching the baby, oblivious to his presence. He smiles a little to himself, taking in the scene.

"Maybe this time we should keep the painkillers on the top shelf?" He hears his father say and TK feels like he was just punched in the gut.

"We can just wrap him in bubble wrap so he'll never need them."

He has never wanted to cry more.

———

Carlos looks around the waiting room, smiling as his eyes land on the members of the 126.

“Hey, any news?”

Marjan looks up from the card game she’s playing with Mateo. “They’re okay; TK just went back.”

He lets out a breath, “Thank god.” Someone bumps his shoulder from behind, rushing past him. “Sorry, I- TK?”

His fiancé turns to look at him and Carlos can see he’s on the verge of tears, relief and pain mixing in his eyes.

“Whoa, whoa, what happened?” TK ignores his question and instead hugs him tightly, burying his face in Carlos’s shoulder. Carlos looks around at the crew- hoping for answers- but they’re all just as confused as he is. “Okay, cariño, you have to talk to me. How can I help?”

“They’re making jokes,” TK mumbles. Carlos frowns and moves back, cupping TK’s face in his hands. The paramedic wipes his face with his sleeves, looking anywhere but at Carlos.

“What do you mean ‘they're making jokes?” Carlos prods.

“My- My parents,” he hiccups out. “They're making jokes about-about painkillers a-and-and bubble wrap- and about not fucking this kid up.”

Carlos can feel his blood boiling as TK breaks down in his arms. He pulls him close, shooting a look at Judd- who looks like he’s about to hit someone.

“Take a breath, Ty,” Carlos says, softly, pressing a kiss to his head.

Judd stands and starts in the direction TK just came from.

“Shit,” Paul mumbles as the rest of the crew get to their feet to follow. Carlos cards his fingers through TK’s hair.

“Hey, babe?” TK makes a noise, then sniffles, but doesn’t move. “I’m really proud of you.”

———

"Cap, you got a minute?"

Judd is leaning against the door to their room, arms crossed. Owen looks up from the sleeping baby in his wife's arms.

"Hey, you guys. Where's-"

"We need to talk."

Owen frowns and looks at the Gwyn and the baby before meeting them in the hall. "Where's TK?"

Marjan waves her hand dismissively. "You're making jokes about painkillers? What are you thinking?"

Owen stiffens. "How much did he hear?"

"No, Cap," Judd says, shaking his head. "That is not the point. You've got a kid who was in and out of rehab most of his teen and adult life and you're makin' jokes?"

Owen scoffs. "I don't need to get reprimanded by my employees."

“All due respect,” Paul starts, “but right now, we’re TK's friends."

"And we're going to treat you like any other asshole," Marjan says.

“Did you just call me an asshole, Marwani?”

She just shrugs. “You thought I wouldn’t call you out?”

Owen looks over the group. “Fine, will you go find TK, tell him I want to talk to him?”

“Carlos took him home,” Mateo says, looking up from a text from Carlos. Owen sighs and shakes his head.

“Okay, I’ll call him. On another note, thank you guys for being here.”

“Of course, Cap,” Paul smiles. “We wouldn’t miss this.”

Judd shakes his head and starts walking toward the waiting room again.

———

“TK, your phone’s ringing,” Carlos says from his place at the counter.

“It’s just my dad,” he mumbles dismissively, his eyes never leaving his computer. “What do you think about orchids?”
Carlos wipes his hands on a dishtowel and leans on the counter. “I think, you’re avoiding things. Again.”

“Mm, oh! What about hyacinths?” TK asks; the wide smile never reaches his eyes. “If we’re going to have a spring wedding, they’d be the perfect table… center decoration thingy.”

“You’re really not going to talk about this?” Carlos doesn’t know why he’s asking; he knows the answer. He’s been trying to get TK to talk to his parents all week. “Babe, your little brother is officially a week old and you have yet to meet him. All because you’re being stubborn?”

“No, wait,” Tk mutters, typing quickly. “What’s that one flower you like? It- like- represents your birth month or something?”
“TK.”
“Asters! Oh, babe, asters would be-“

“Tyler.”
TK trails off mid sentence, his fingers hovering over the keys. “Carlos, I don’t know what you want me to say. I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

Carlos moves around the table and slowly closes the computer, leaning against the table next to his fiancé- who keeps his eyes trained forward.

“I want you to be okay.”

TK tugs on sleeve and chews the inside of his cheek. “After what happened in New York...my dad was the one who pushed rehab, the-the therapy, who insisted I live with him, you know? And then...”

He makes a face- almost wincing- and sniffles. “Then, he’s making jokes about how I fucked up.”

Carlos covered his hands with his own. “Do you want me to arrest him?”

TK laughs and leans closer to press his head against Carlos. “Could you do that?”

“I can if I want to.”

“What would you charge him with?”

“I’m sure I can find something,” he shrugs running his fingers through TK’s hair. They lapse into silence. “What can I do?”

“You’re here,” TK mumbles, pressing a kiss to his wrist. “That’s all I need right now.”

———

Chapter 2

[sneakydraws]

Well, here it is - a lengthy explanation of each card in my mdzs major arcana deck and what I meant to convey/what i would have changed in retrospect/what alternatives i considered! It’s a bit messy and my typing style is lazy but hopefully it will be an interesting read to some of you :)

And so you don’t say I didn’t warn you - jiang cheng’s section (11 justice) is absurdly long lmao

0 the fool  I elaborated on this in the post itself but yeah basically jin ling is kind of representative of all the damage and trauma caused by the past, and there’s a kind of danger there of him falling victim to the same vices as the older characters and repeating the same mistakes and perpetuating the cycle of war and misery (the cycle that we already see with how the jin sect became the new wen sect, and later with how jgy became the new wwx) and he has a lot of room to grow! He grows so much over the course of the novel, comes to realise the complexities of the past and gets a harsh life lesson in how nothing is as black and white as it seems. But ill save talking about his progress for the end, for now whats important is that he has room to grow and also a dog. I don’t really have a justification for the sun, i mostly just thought it looked sick? It made its way to the next card as well, where it makes a bit more sense, but then i realised it was a dumb motif to include 1 the magician I still very much like wwx for the role, and that illustration would have probably had him raising a corpse on his left and pointing threateningly to the sun on his right. I considered including the table as well, with some mdzs relevant items replacing the card suits. Anyway, like i said wwx got a few cards to himself already so i went with the alternative wq design, since i think she fits the card as well. Both she and wwx are highly skilled people, extremely driven once they set their mind to something. The card to me symbolises the creative mind as well as a general drive for action, which fits them both - wwx was famously a prolific inventor, and wq came up with a previously unheard of surgery, after all. This card strays pretty far from the rider-waite deck design, largely because i was still figuring out how i wanted to approach this series, but you can still see the influence. 2 the high priestess I was actually going to skip this card at first because I couldn’t think of a fitting character, but once i considered a qings character post death, it all fit pretty well. She was already a highly intuitive person in life, and in sharing her memories with wwx she is, in a way, relaying a kind of secret knowledge. Anyway she’s one of my fav characters so im glad i got a chance to include her. The coffins could be interpreted to be xxc and sl or xxc and xy 3 the empress Theres other mother figures in mdzs who got to be mothers for a longer time, but jyl definitely embodies the positive aspects of this card the best. She’s nurturing, kind, emotionally supportive, she already mothered wwx and jc quite a bit when she was young. Plus i liked that the rw card had both water and flowers, making an easy lotus connection. In retrospect the stars look kind of out of place and i should have replaced them with something more relevant... Also, i should have had her hold a lotus seed pod instead of a flower, haha 4 the emperor Like i said I considered jc for the role but hoching bullied me into admitting that nmj was better… they’re both more of an inverted emperor than an upright one but then again theres hardly any character in mdzs who would fit upright emperor so. Jgs was also considered but he’s even uglier than nmj so i couldn’t bear to draw him 5 the hierophant It was pointed out to me that lqr would have fit this card better and the truth if that statement haunts me to this day. Unfortunately I have no space in my brain for lqr so lxc got the role instead. My main reason was his role during the wen destruction of gusu lan, when he ran away with the contents of the library - this is why there’s bookshelves behind him. The keys, take, from the rider-waite deck, are meant to represent the gusu pendants that allow you to enter 6 the lovers Im sure many people would have chosen wangxian here but I uhh don’t really care abt wangxian personally? And also their love story is so convoluted that jyl and jzx seem idyllic by comparison lol. Also i didnt really have an idea for who to put in the angel’s place for wangxian… mme jin certainly did not get these two together in the end but undeniably she and mme yu did initially give them a chance to fall for each other so. Thats something i guess. Anyway the trees became their sects’ flowers and the mountain became the burial grounds - an omen of their tragic fate, basically 7 the chariot There might have been other characters who fit this card better but i couldn’t really think of another card for lwj and i thought it would be weird to not include him… anyway i don’t really care for current timeline lwj BUT i do like that he was clearly influenced by wwx to walk his own path in life based on his moral convictions rather than follow his sect’s rules blindly. The chariot is to me a card of self control, self determination and focused action, so it seemed fitting. The composition felt kind of empty without the actual chariot so i padded it out with the guqin, the cloud recess in the bg (it doesn’t look great but i tried to replicate the drama design….) and the bunnies which conveniently fit the colour scheme of the sphinxes in the rider-waite design 8 strength Like i said before, my interpretation of this card is more… morally ambiguous than the quote unquote official meaning, so i thought about manipulative or duplicitous characters more than kind characters whose strength is expressed through gentleness (though i did consider jyl briefly for the latter interpretation). As such, i considered both jgy and nhs, but ended up going with jgy largely because i couldn’t pass up the opportunity to put the nie sect’s beast as the lion. 9 the hermit My thoughts immediately went to bssr lol. It may be an overly literal interpretation but whatever, i like it just fine. And i like that i managed to echo the rider-waite silhouette in the mountain and the tree (and even in bssr herself) 10 wheel of fortune God i love the parallels between these 2… this card to me is about how you cant trust your current situation, good or bad, to last forever, and these 2 embody that perfectly imo. Wwx went from son of a well off servant and a powerful cultivator, to street rat orphan, to adopted son of sect leader jiang, to double orphan, to MIA, to terrifying but admired warrior, to terrifying and despised traitor, to dead, to, at the very end, suddenly respected and trusted again. The dishonesty and cheapness of whatever the public’s current opinion of him is is portrayed beautifully as far as im concerned. And jgy of course claws his way up to power only to instantaneously become public enemy number one, to the point that he’s probably blamed for stuff there’s no reason to believe he had a hand in. Wei wuxian’s silent astonishment at how quickly the cultivation world turns against jgy and towards him again is a delicious moment of thematic resonance.  11 justice I settled on this card for jc after he got booted from the emperor seat but i do think it fits, in a somewhat convoluted way. I turned both the sword and the scales into visual representations of the golden core transfer (can you tell im obsessed with it). According to biddy tarot, the justice card is partly about searching for the truth, and the scene where jc finds out about the transfer is of course a big deal. I was also very influenced by the reversed meaning again - which is about being reluctant or unwilling to face or accept the consequences of your actions. I feel on an intuitive level that this fits jc but I’m not sure how well i can explain it - it’s something about how he’s a little too comfortable scapegoating wwx for things that were also, if much less so, influenced by his actions, and also something about the way he keeps wwx at an arm’s length emotionally but still leans on him and accepts his support when he really needs it, and somewhat hypocritically expects wwx to put the needs of him and the jiang sect before the needs of others. And also something about the core exchange is the consequence and proof of wwx’s deep - terrifyingly deep, even - love and care for him, which is something jc doesn’t seem to let himself acknowledge. Maybe even something about how you could argue that the way all of the jiangs acted around wwx - jfm’s favouritism that left him with the feeling of a debt he needs to repay, mme yus insistence that he be a servant more than a brother to jc, prepared to give his life for jc, and jc’s own unwillingness - or inability, he was a child after all - to clearly acknowledge wwx as an equal to himself, enabling wwx’s self sacrificial and protective tendencies - that all of this was what caused wwx’s complete and unquestioning willingness to do whatever it took to protect jc, and therefore paved the way to the golden core transfer. And i don’t mean this to be scapegoating jc - especially considering how young he was when this all went down, it wouldn’t be fair to expect this level of emotional perceptiveness, awareness and maturity of him - but i think adult jc has to grapple with the fact that the chain of cause and effect was not as simple as wwx fucking everyone’s lives up to be a martyr, and that both jc and his parents had a role in that story as well. I don’t even necessarily think this is something that jc only realised in the current timeline - i think it’s something he felt on some level this whole time, and it probably led to a lot of feelings of guilt - but the suibian reveal definitely puts it in sharp focus, and i think he’s now better equipped to handle this introspection than he was as a recently orphaned, traumatised teenager, lol. ANYWAY the window with the fabric is both a nod to the rider-waite design and a reference to the destruction of lanling - i actually did some basic ass research for this, and it seems that in ancient china fabric would indeed be hanged in a window if the normally used paper was damaged. The design of the window, as well as the very idea to use it to imply the reconstruction of lanling, was taken from this great piece of jc angst by my pal moroll1! Oh yeah also the covered window kind of works as a denial of forgiveness for jc because it’s like a halo but covered up... Also I completely forgot to put a blindfold over his eyes which would be perfectttt because blind justice and the core exchange......... ok moving on 12 the hanged man I always have issues with this card because i cant find a satisfactory summary of what it’s really about. Best i can tell it symbolises a need to hit pause, surrender or let go of something… ive also seen it tied to sacrifice? So mo xuanyu doesn’t fit perfectly, but sacrifice is definitely there in a surface level reading kind of way, and the idea that you have to surrender or let go in order to achieve your goal does fit the whole deal of getting revenge but giving up your life in exchange and not being there to see it 13 death This is probably one of my favourite cards, definitely not because I have huge issues with change or anything…. I see this card as signalling the necessity of change or putting an end to something / leaving something in the past in order to start anew? At first i considered putting past wwx, mxy and current wwx here as a kind of transformation and one cycle flowing into the next... But firstly, I’d already used mxy in the very previous card, so putting him in again would feel like overkill, and secondly, the longer I thought about it the less convinced I was that this would even fit with the card’s meaning? Because coming back from the dead doesn’t like... trigger an internal transformation within wwx or anything? Anyway, fun fact: the design I ended up going with was actually originally intended for judgement! I thought I was being very clever with the whole “figure plays an instrument and the dead rise” parallel, but apparently I’d just completely forgotten that the judgement card had a completely different composition... Truly I was boo boo the fool... But yeah anyway at the end of the day I figured the design would kind of work for death as well, with Wen Ning and the theme of transformation, (since in his case coming back as a fierce corpse does actually mark a certain transformation in behaviour) and Wei Wuxian’s protection of the Wen people essentially signifying an attempt to break the cycle of oppression if that makes any sense? Like, wwx is trying to revolutionise the way the world works a bit, if you catch my drift 14 temperance  The centrist card! Again this is probably going off track from the “official” interpretation, but to me this card has a certain “don’t commit fully; do everything in moderation; don’t take either side” flavour to it that i personally find infuriating irl and that i very much assign to lxc. It’s entirely possible that I’m misinterpreting his character because i didn’t really pay him (and the 3zun in general) much mind while reading, but hell, I’m allowed to pick favourites and choose who i want to interpret deeply vs shallowly. Again, i wish id chosen lqr for hierophant because its so annoying for a character i don’t care about to get two cards…. But oh well 15 the devil My alternative idea for this was jgy as the devil and lxc plus nmj as the figures, but since all three had been featured already (multiple times, even!) i figured I’d go with xy instead, especially since he’s among my faves lol. I think the devil signifies something along the lines of unhealthy attachment, obsession or addiction, which isn’t 100% accurate in the case of xxc and a-qing, but if i stretch it a bit to cover toxic relationships in general, and especially manipulation or negative influence, i don’t think it’s half bad. My main struggle here was to choose who amongst the xxc/sl/aq trio to choose for the human figures. 16 the tower Arguably jin zixuans death and the following massacre of nightless city were the final and most direct reason for the siege of burial mounds, and the tiger seal is good shorthand for wwx’s loss of control over his powers, which led to the deaths of jzx and jyl. When reimagining major arcana i like to feature some kind of building in this card (spoilers for a possible future project but in my rose of versailles major arcana set the tower is bastille) and even if it’s not a tower, the image of wwx looming over the gathered crowd from atop a rooftop is so good i couldn’t resist 17 the star Struggled with this one - considered both jin ling and lsz for it, as symbolising a hope for the future, but that was kind of covered by the world so it wouldn’t make sense to include here as well... As usual when I struggle with interpreting a card (as opposed to understanding it but struggling with matching a character to it, like with death or moon) I went to biddy tarot and read all the details about its meaning. What i got was that this card signifies an incoming period of introspection and inner peace following a time of turmoil, as well as a general moving on into a new, better phase of one’s life or finding new meaning and purpose. The figure also suggests someone vulnerable, but possessing a keen sense of intuition as well as a good degree of practicality and common sense. Given all those, I settled for mianmian because IM LOVE HER..... I also kind of see her as a prelude to the “just one person is enough” theme present in tgcf!! And i think her decision to abandon her sect because she saw the toxicity and corruption in it is a very inspiring action - even if it didn’t make a large visible impact, i think the appearance of her and her idyllic family at the very end of the novel - paralleling and mirroring wangxian - implies that at the end of the day, it was a meaningful one 18 the moon Another card i ALWAYS fuxking struggle with - this time less because i can’t grasp its meaning and more because I can never find a character that fits it well. I usually get fixated on the “dreams and subconscious” part, but if i lean more on the “disguise, deceit, anxiety and fear” part, i eventually figured the whole yi city arc wouldn’t be a bad fit. I say the entire arc because it really does encompass all those themes if you include both the past and the present - xue yang’s disguise, his tricks with the villagers, a-qing’s lies and even xxc’s reluctance to talk about his past as well as xue yang pretending to be xxc all fit the disguise and deceit angle, and the general mystery and creepiness of the current timeline yi city work well with the anxiety and fear - the mist, the slow uncovering of the past, even a-qing being revealed to be an ally after scaring the shit out of the protags. I definitely struggled with including all the elements and characters, and even moreso with making them vaguely fit the rider-waite composition, but i think it ended up okay ish. OH and i completely forgot to draw mist swirling around them :( 19 the sun I was considering mianmian’s family for this one, but since I used her for star, I ended up with wwx and his parents instead. Once again I’m reinterpreting the card a bit - normally I think it symbolises incoming times of pure happiness and abundance, as well as a connection with the inner child, but I gave it more of a nostalgic or sentimental twist - wwx looking back at the brief glimpse of his happy childhood. 20 judgement another card that i struggle to interpret a bit... Here i actually used the tgcf tarot zine as a reference! In it judgement is summarised as “rebirth, following duty, absolution” SO i figured that nhs, mxy and wwx all together would fit pretty neatly... wwx achieving (public) absolution through clearing his own name after being reborn, and nhs sort of calling on wwx to expose jgy’s crimes... It’s a bit messy but not bad I think! 21 the world This ties very closely to my read on mdzs as a story - which is that it’s, at the end of the day, largely about cycles, and about how hard it is to break them, but how we gotta keep trying and have hope anyway. Or maybe more precisely, that the people directly involved with and influenced by the trauma of the past might not be able to get over said trauma and that the hope for healing from it will be shouldered by the new generation. Or something like that… Basically what i mean is that jc and wwx and lwj and lxc and nhs and jgy and all these people who were in the thick of the sunshot campaign and the siege are so profoundly affected by it that it genuinely feels by the end of the story like there is little hope for them to ever truly overcome that trauma and build a better future without repeating the same old mistakes - but there is a glimmer of hope in the new generation, specifically in jl and lsz. And it’s a bit paradoxical, because they have also been directly impacted by the past tragedies - lsz having his entire clan wiped out after wwx failed to protect them, jl losing both his parents to wwx’s mistakes - but despite that loss, and despite coming from arguably the two opposing sides of the past conflicts, they are both, in the end, capable of moving past that tragedy, of recognising the complicated nature of those conflicts (jl’s moment of clarity at the end is both heartbreaking and hopeful) and forging friendships between clans in the process. I honestly think that the extra where jl is struggling to assert his authority as sect leader, to treat his subjects well and to cooperate with other sects in a truly amicable way is the single hopeful ending note for the larger themes of the novel - it allows us to imagine that maybe these kids can learn from the mistakes of their elders rather than getting sucked in by resentment at those mistakes, and actually build a brighter future for the cultivation world. And sidenote, this is also why i have a soft spot for jin ling and lan sizhui as a ship... speaking of which their poses were directly referenced from the lovers card ehehe

Looking back, I’d like to add some symbol of jin ling’s trauma so that it mirrors baby wen yuan in the tree stump... maybe his father’s sword? 

[bigskydreaming]

Whats Nightwing and Deathstroke's dynamic? Why does it make you wince? Im not very familiar with it.

Nightwing and Slade actually have a really interesting and compelling dynamic in a lot of ways, that can be really good when written well and really terrible when not. My biggest issue is it is that its not sexual in the comics (Slade is a good thirty years older than him) or in other adaptations that have a version of it, like the Teen Titans cartoon. But fandom being fandom, Dick/Slade is a bigger ship than like, half his actual canon ships, so any new take on it always comes with a big sigh at all the new Dick/Slade shipping that’s gonna crop up or have a resurgence cuz of it. And I’m annoyed enough with YJ right now that I’m not giving them the benefit of the doubt that they’ll do anything new or interesting with it that’s worth having to wade through pages of new Dick/Slade noncon in the months afterwards. Its a ship that generates a lot of non-con fic in particular, or at least my old favorite, ‘dubcon’, with the dubious part of the consent referring to the fact that it usually involves mind control or brainwashing, both tropes that show up a lot in their interactions anyway. (Not that there’s anything dubious about this NOT allowing for consensual anything, just that people love to call it dubcon because….fuck if I know).

But anyway….in the comics, Deathstroke is a mercenary who’s one of the Titans’ earliest and most iconic enemies. Though at various times and depending on who’s writing him, he’s sometimes an antihero and even a semi-trusted ally of the Titans (usually with Dick specifically), other times a villain but with his own personal code of honor that means he won’t help the Titans or other heroes but he’ll refuse to take jobs that would pit him against them, and other times he’s full on remorseless and sadistic villain who hates them all and wants them all dead.

He also had three kids, his son Grant (the first Ravager), his younger son Joseph (Jericho) and his youngest, their half-sister Rose (the second Ravager). Basically, the first time he interacted with the Titans was when the supervillain group HIVE put out a contract to have the Titans all killed. Slade turned them down cuz of his personal honor code and how young the Titans were, but his son Grant accepted the contract in exchange for HIVE giving him superpowers to help him fulfill it. The process didn’t work right though, and when fighting the Titans, Grant’s powers overloaded and killed him.

Slade blamed the Titans for this, and vowed to finish the contract and kill them as some twisted way of honoring Grant. He doesn’t do Logic so good, well no, its more like he doesn’t really do parenting so good, as in he tends to have fuck all to do with his kids 364 days of the year, but then something bad happens to one of them and suddenly he thinks he’s Dad of the Year and going 0 to Homicidal in six seconds flat is the way to make up for all the times he’s let them down or screwed them over, instead of just…not Doing That.

So Slade recruited a young meta named Tara Markov (yup, that one) and trained her as his apprentice specifically to help him get revenge on the Titans. At his prompting, she joined the Titans as a spy for him, feeding him intel and plotting against them in one of the best known comicbook storylines of all time, The Judas Contract. It was up there with some of the X-Men’s best known stories like the Dark Phoenix Saga and Days of Future Past. (In the 80s actually, the Titans comic book was almost as popular as Uncanny X-Men at the time. Like way more than the Justice League. They were DC’s big hitters, popularity wise - specifically the lineup that for the most part was centered around Dick, Donna, Starfire, Beast Boy, Cyborg and Raven, with other members like the original Titans and later ones like Pantha and Wildebeest coming and going at various points in the 80s too).

Ultimately, Tara made her move and betrayed the Titans, enabling Slade to kidnap each of them one by one and turn them over to the HIVE….all except for Dick. In the meanwhile, he was approached by Slade’s ex-wife Adeline Kane - who has an equally all over the place dynamic with Slade, like sometimes she’s his worst enemy and other times she’s manipulating events behind the scenes to help him without him knowing, because she still loves him…it basically just depends on who’s writing her, same as with Slade. Also, Kane is Adeline’s maiden name, she’s distantly related to Kate Kane aka Batwoman in some extremely complicated manner I can never remember, but that’s mostly just trivia. I can’t remember a time its ever been relevant to a story, and it has nothing to do with Slade’s interactions with Dick.

ANYWAY. Point being, so Adeline, who blames and hates Slade at this time for their son Grant’s death, along with their other son Joey, seek out Dick and offer their help rescuing the Titans and defeating Slade. Joey is a metahuman as a result of Slade’s altered DNA (he has regenerative powers and is actually immortal, due to experiments the army did on him while he was a soldier). So Joey was born with powers although they didn’t activate until he was a young adult. His codename was Jericho and his power lets him possess peoples’ bodies. He’s also mute, and I’m half expecting him to show up in YJ fairly soon. If not this season then hinted at by the end of it. Also wouldn’t surprise me if they had plans to have him be gay in the YJ universe. He’s a character who was coded as gay practically from his debut. Joey/Dick is actually probably Dick’s oldest and most enduring slash ship, for the record.

So Joey works with Dick to rescue the Titans and defeat Slade, who’s captured and goes on trial for kidnapping the Titans. Joey ends up joining the Titans in the aftermath, and Adeline’s yay good, this was my Sekrit Plan all along, I did all this solely in the hopes that you would end up a superhero and have positive influences and not end up a murdering douchebag of flexible morality like your dad cuz fuck that guy, am I right Titans?

Did Adeline really just do all of that because she wanted her son to have more friends? Like…idk honestly it could go either way. Like….it IS the kind of thing she would do, tbh, so its as likely she was telling the truth as it is she just wanted to screw Slade one last time to avenge Grant and then was like hey if I take credit for my kid ending up a Titan now, I could probably play the “you owe me one” card later if I ever need to. Addy does like handing out “you owe me one” cards, just to be safe. Never know when you might need one.

The thing all this has to do with Dick is like, so it basically ended up being Dick versus Slade in the big finale, while Joey was rescuing the others and helping them face off against Tara. And for whatever reason - with multiple takes on this offered by multiple writers in the decades since - something about Dick just stuck with Slade and he’s had a kinda fascination with him ever since. Like he’s always talking about how much more he could teach Dick than what he already learned from Bruce, trying to convince him he’s got a killer instinct that Bruce just suppressed and its holding him back, blah blah, like saying he’s good, but Slade could make him great, so he surpasses both Bruce and Slade. TBH, he spends WAY more time obsessing about Dick and getting Dick to join him than he bothers paying attention to his own kids. 

It really isn’t inherently sexual though, its a weird kinda pseudo father/son, pseudo mentor/mentee type thing. And its not entirely one-sided, because Dick at various times IS…tempted? Kinda? Like whenever Dick’s having some kind of crisis of conscience, or he’s pissed at Bruce or is questioning the effectiveness of superheroes or why they do the things they do or what does it all matter blah blah blah like omg I love you Dick, I really do, but sometimes you are such a drama queen, my god, blast some My Chemical Romance, experiment with drugs and chill out already, its not that deep. (LOL I kid. Well mostly). But point being, every once in awhile something happens that puts Dick in a funk and makes him second guess himself, and he spends like….a month being convinced he should reinvent himself as the anti-Bruce, that’s the solution, and this usually sends him in search of Slade except he’s always like ‘OH FANCY MEETING YOU HERE, THIS IS TOTALLY RANDOM AND NOT ON PURPOSE’. 

And Slade likes to take any opportunity to try and convince him like BE A BAD GUY DICK, KILL PEOPLE FOR MONEY, ALL THE COOL KIDS ARE DOING IT. Except inevitably Slade does something that pisses Dick off and Dick snaps out of it and is like NO, IM A HERO AND THIS IS BAD, I REMEMBER NOW AND I’LL NEVER JOIN YOU, YOU’RE NOT MY REAL DAD I HATE YOU! And then they fight again, but with swords, not words, and then they’re like crap, we’re too well matched, this is going nowhere, you’re a worthy opponent, the only one I can truly respect, blah blah and then they call a breather and Slade’s like hey kid, wanna grab a beer and Dick’s like yeah but only if you promise not to kill anyone. And Slade’s like ugh fine.

And then Slade’s all, look kid, its been fun but its time you went home to your real family and your real life, this isn’t you, you’re a hero, I can’t try and turn you into something you’re not, its Wrong. And Dick’s like….umm yeah, I know, I literally JUST said that, how hard did I hit you? And Slade’s like NO SHHH, DONT TRY AND ARGUE, GO, YOU GO NOW, GO ON, LIVE YOUR LIFE, YOU DONT BELONG HERE IN THE DARK WITH ME, YOU’RE ONE OF THE GOOD ONES, GO BACK TO YOUR OWN KIND.

And Dick’s like no seriously dude, I already called my dad to come pick me up, what are you even on right now, are we having the same conversation?

Slade, sobbing paternally: I HAVE TO LET YOU GO, ALL I EVER DO IS HURT MY KIDS, I’M A TERRIBLE FATHER, ITS NO WONDER JOEY HATES ME.

And then Dick awkwardly slips out while Slade’s mid monologue, with his head thrown back yelling up at the sky and shaking his fists like WHY GOD WHY IS THIS THE WORLD WE LIVE IN WHY - because the thing about Slade is he’s actually even MORE of a drama queen than Dick, he just hides it better. Most of the time. But seriously tho.

Anyway yeah, this is like…a pattern with them basically. And Slade’s like, you’ve inspired me, I see in you the man I could’ve become, maybe even that I can still be, and he like doubles down on his personal honor code and becomes a Mercenary With A Heart for a couple years and even helps out the Titans every now and then (basically just whenever Dick’s in trouble and he goes on a killing spree, like NOBODY IS ALLOWED TO MURDER MY KIDS BUT ME - also by this point in time, Joey had died because Slade literally killed him, I forget why, it was a dumb story, but its okay Joey came back, its not like his name is Uncle Ben. But yeah, killing his kids is kinda a thing with Slade too, and he’s very proprietary about it).

And then he falls off the wagon and is like fuck, I forgot how much I like murder, ugh, you should have never tried to make me change, THIS IS WHO I AM, and Dick’s just like….I literally do not know where you’re getting these conversations from, like am I there when you think we’re having them, am I just blacking out…do I need to see a doctor??? And Slade’s like YOU WILL RUE THE DAY YOU EVER MET ME, GRAYSON, FROM NOW ON I AM THE TITANS’ MORTAL ENEMY and runs off all dramatically while Dick’s like…..wut, and all the other Titans are like srsly, dude, what is WITH you too, and Dick’s all I DON’T EVEN KNOW, HE’S JUST LIKE THAT.

In all seriousness though, ultimately my take on their dynamic is that for Slade, Dick’s a combination of seeing himself and Grant in Bruce and Dick’s dynamic, and its like….all about his regret and missed opportunities. Like, he tends to be super judgey of Bruce and critical of how he trains (and raises Dick) and passive aggressively like *I* would never do that and Dick just kinda lifts an eyebrow and is all, you’ve literally killed two of your three kids. 

But like, Slade kinda views himself as the anti-Batman and thus Dick is inadvertently cast as Grant, but its like Slade can never decide if he thinks Bruce is actually holding Dick back from his full potential and he wants to push Dick the way he thinks Bruce refuses to, or if like, he blames Bruce for getting Dick involved in this life, the same life that got Grant killed, and wants to protect Dick from Bruce and from the same thing happening to him. So its this weird mix of Slade manipulating Dick sometimes and pushing him way further than even Bruce ever does and saying its for his own good, but also randomly mixed in there are these bouts of extreme protectiveness, and there’s like zero rhyme or reason to which he is on any given day and there’s never any way to predict where Slade will land and so it always fucks with Dick’s head in a big way, he’s like…I’m getting whiplash.

And then on Dick’s end, like, the thing about Dick like I’ve mentioned before is he’s a huge people pleaser? Like he’s a very empathetic caretaker type personality who sinks a huge amount of his identity into being everything for everyone, to the extent that he tends to lose sight of himself in the process, sometimes. And he’s also a perfectionist who was raised with the most demanding father of all demanding fathers ever, and has a lot of abandonment issues and insecurities that Bruce’s mutant power is to trip over and set off in the worst possible ways.

And so I think the reason Dick keeps seeking Slade out every now and then is not because he ACTUALLY wants to ever take Slade up on his offer and genuinely become his apprentice or partner and like, turn his back on how he was raised. I think the point of it for Dick is the fact that each and every time he ends up affirming for himself no, wait, this ISN’T actually what I want, I just needed to be reminded of that, to remember that. That he always pulls himself back before going too far. And at the same time, I do think on some level he likes that Slade is this kinda constant in his life, that at the end of the day Slade is like…so fixated on his potential and his achievements and his worth as a fighter and a hero, because like….Dick Grayson is a person who craves validation but will never ask for it ever. 

And he’s one of those people who everyone is just so USED to liking without even thinking about it that it never occurs to them when talking amongst themselves about how great he is, that they forget to say this to his actual face? And so he never hears it? And never asks for it, because gasp, then people might think he’s needy, and that would be bad, so he mostly just goes and sulks in his apartment about how nobody likes him and he’s terribad. Except for Slade. Slade always compliments him on what a good fighter and what a good planner and what a good leader he is, so hmm wonder what he’s doing. He hasn’t committed any crimes in six months and I can’t find any reason to track him down and bring him in? Ugh, that asshole. Okay, ummm, I guess I could tell him I’m thinking of turning evil again, I haven’t done that in a couple years, he’d probably buy it.

And then later Bruce is pacing around the Batcave wrathfully shaking his fist, like “Damn that man and his sick hold over my son, if only I knew how he keeps getting his hooks into you!”

And Dick basically shrugs and plays games on his phone. “He mostly just tells me I’m special, and that’s nice to hear.”

Bruce, still pacing and ranting and fist shaking: “What kind of evil genius is he, how master a manipulator he must be to be able to get inside your head and upend your normal views of right and wrong, to make you entertain these ideas of working with him, learning from him…”

Dick: No its seriously just the saying nice things about me bit. I like that.

Bruce: If only I had a code word or phrase I could use to snap you out of whatever brainwashing he seems to be able to affect you with any time you come near him, perhaps some kind of alien tech….

Dick: You could try “I’m proud of you, son.” I mean if you’re taking suggestions.

Bruce: There’s also the possibility of a magical component to consider, blast, I hate working with magic so of course he WOULD do something like that, ugh I suppose I could ask Zatanna or Jason Blood for help there…

Dick: Cool cool, well this has been a fun and productive chat as always, so you keep doing…all that…and meanwhile I’m gonna go ponder my fixation on father figures who are 100% more committed to obsessing over their failures as a parent than like…actual parenting of their actual kids.

Bruce, ten minutes later: Dick? Where are you? DID SLADE GET TO YOU AGAIN? RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE? CURSE THAT MAN AND HIS UNNATURAL SKILLS, HOW DOES HE DO IT??!?

Anyway, that’s Slade and Dick. There’s also the whole Renegade thing, when Dick asked for Slade’s help in infiltrating the Society of Super Villains in his fake villain identity as Renegade, with you know, lots of Slade trying to corrupt him and also trying to murder any supervillains who looked as his not!son the wrong way. 

And then there was the time Slade brought his daughter Rose to Dick to train and said he couldn’t teach her himself because his track record with training his kids and them not ending up dead is like, not good, and he’s superstitious or something? Idk, I forget his logic, it was probably bad though.

And Slade was like, I only trust you to be a competent teacher for my daughter, I want you to teach her everything you know! Except for like, being a hero. None of that nonsense. I FORBID you from trying to make my daughter into a hero or the deal is off. (The deal being that if Dick did this, Slade would not do crime in Dick’s city for a year).

And Dick was like, you got a deal. I will train Rose but there will be NO trying to make her a hero, I swear. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And Slade was like okay, fine, you got a deal, I will absolutely still do crime and be villainous but only in every place except for Bludhaven specifically. /he said while crossing his fingers behind his back because duh.

And then Dick tried to make Rose a hero and then Slade blew up Bludhaven and that was definitely a thing, so…yeah.

In summation, Slade and Dick are weird but also very interesting but also if we get another rehash of the Renegade/apprentice arc aka the Teen Titans cartoon adaptation of that story aka the single most popular Dick Grayson fic trope of all time, like….I swear I will probably get a brain bleed.

[dyemelikeasunset]

Naf, what are your favorite animes/mangas? Also, happy new year!! :)

Happy new year!! 

So I had an old list of my favorite anime/manga but it’s a bit outdated so I’m gonna make a new one. Yeah!

(this is a long as fuck post, apologies!)

Comics/Manga:

Otoyomegatari (eng: Bride’s Story): so I know this series is already pretty renowned but IT’S JUST SO GORGEOUS. The detail and research that goes into this series is so! frickin’! good!! The characters are subtle but full of personality, the humor is delivered in a very human way, the pacing is slow and gentle but full of interest, the story telling is refined. And the cultures are not demonized?? While there are “outsider” perspectives everyone works realistically within the confines of their societies and it’s really respectful. The age gap of the main couple (the groom is 12 and the bride is 20) has so much potential to be squicky but it’s healthy and not framed in any gross way. I love the way the series jumps to different areas and explores small arcs outside the main storyline, all staying within the theme of cultural marriages. Among these side stories, there is one with a majority dark-skinned cast, and the main characters are these carefree and fun-loving twin girls who are so much fun to read about! There’s also another story with a healthy polyamorous story that is, again, actually very accurate!! (Some people could argue it’s “platonic” but the way it’s executed really, really drips with romance lmao.) Highly suggest this series!!

Boku no Hero Academia (eng:My Hero Academy): I’ve completely fallen into the BnHA pit. I didn’t expect to like this series THIS MUCH but it is really, reeaaalllyyy damn good. I’ve never read a shounen series that had so much thought and good editing put into it. Like, it has incredible reread value! There’re a lot of small jokes (like single-panel but still very effective! jokes), unbelievable attention to detail, and it’s very obvious the characters were all worked out before the story was kicked off. The pacing is great, the momentum never feels sacrificed, yet there are still good chunks for breathing and emotional development. The characters are all very well-written even if they’re not “likeable,” you always have someone to root for, and the superpowers are refreshingly executed. The action is fucking FANTASTIC, and the story itself is intriguing with a lot of emotional impact without becoming hamfisted. There are still some issues with it, especially with the small amount of female characters and some unneeded romance undertones, but overall those criticisms do stay as “undertones” and probably weren’t done intentionally. A lot of the potential “fanservice scenes” are usually subverted in a hilarious way

Gakuen Babysitters (eng: School Babysitters): OOH BOY. This one’s a story about a high school with a daycare attached to it (mainly for the teachers’ kids). The main character is a high school student with a toddler-age younger brother, they’re new to this school and have to meet all the other kids… who are fucking adorable. All the toddlers at the daycare are really fleshed out, they all have set personalities and aren’t unrealistically angelic and some are bratty and most are CUTE AF, and they all have their moments to shine. Sometimes the characters border on caricatures or one-note jokes, but it works well for comedy and is generally kept fresh. There’re also some typical romance-y things but they’re totally glazed over in favor of the toddler-plots and YES A STORY WHERE KIDS AREN’T USED AS A PLOT DEVICE TO MAKE SOMEONE MORE ROMANTICALLY APPEALING AND seriously this series is SO CUTE you all should read it.

Bokura no Hentai (eng: Our Transformations): the “hentai” here is “transformations” not porn lmao. Anyway this series is about three kids who meet through an online “cross-dressing” community. The main character is actually a trans girl!! The other two mains are both cis, one gay one straight. The straight boy does say homo/transphobic things at the beginning but properly apologizes for his actions later. The series also deals with death in the family, mental illness and recovery, gender (obviously) as well as gender expectations and even addresses hypersexuality as a result of trauma. That being said, there is a heavy warning on this series for noncon situations and molestation. However it’s thankfully not treated in a romantic or rose-tinted way in the least. Some of the character growth is a little sudden (esp straight cis boy, I felt his turnaround was too fast and drastic) and some of the endgame couples (or implied couples) have some meh undertones, but overall a good story.The series is finished now and ended on a pretty good note, but the epilogue is incredibly sad. I suggest maybe not reading the very last chapter if you’re in a bad place mentally right now.

Kase-san: If you’re looking for feel-good wlw media, Kase-san is the shit. It’s sooo sugary and sweet, but still has good character growth and story development. It generally deals with real-world teenager stuff, but the couple is very healthy and progresses at a realistic but still romantic pace. Warnings for intense butterflies lmao this series is seriously so gentle and high-school romance-y in the best way. The biggest surprise is how the main girl grew on me so much? Like I have a huge pet peeve for cookie-cutter protagonists, but Yamada has so much personality and strengths! Even though the story is told from her perspective and generally follows her pining after the titular love interest, Kase, there are enough glimpses into Kase’s personality and motivations too (which helps to balance things out), and just Yamada herself is very vibrant and sweet! This series puts me in such a good mood

Tamen Di Gushi (eng: Their Story): Another good wlw series! I know this series is already pretty popular on Tumblr, but if anyone was still on the fence about it, I really think you should give it a shot. The romance is sweet and adorable but what really gets me is the HUMOR. The gags in this series are fucking out of this world, I can’t explain it well but the timing, expressions, and circumstances are SO FUNNY and the artist pulls it off so well!! I always look forward to the updates just because they’re so funny

Anime:

Idolm@ster: ugh don’t even talk to me about this one it’s a total guilty pleasure but all the characters and even the sides are GREAT (I love the faceless president lmao). It’s a story about a start-up idol agency, and how all the adults are working to help each of the girls become famous. It was originally a video game (with some questionable content) but the anime is REALLY GOOD and very endearing and each of the girls has a moment to shine and grow. The songs are cute and the dances and performances are so rewarding to see esp after all the characters go through, and UGH It’s all so adorable, esp 2nd season. I love this show.[A NOTE: don’t watch the movie. Just don’t. It’s awful. Bad production value, unnecessary drama, A USELESS SIDEPLOT ABOUT A GIRL LOSING WEIGHT it’s awful don’t do it.]

Idolm@ster: Cinderella Girls: New cast of idols, new agency, very different pacing. The beginning 7 episodes are a little hard to get through, but after that first trudge, the quality skyrockets. I actually think there were some things I enjoyed more about CG than the original im@s– there’s a bigger focus on the actual work they do (like their idol theming), company politics, and a MUCH BETTER VILLAIN introduced in the second season. This series doesn’t focus as much on each individual character, but the ones that do get development really hit home strong.

Escaflowne: one of the first animes I ever watched when they were dubbing it in fox kids. I rewatched the subbed anime when I got older and I gotta say it’s really lasts the test of time. Aside from the geek factors (high fantasy!! tarot cards!! dragons! MAGIC MECHS!!) the story and characters are really great. The main character, Hitomi, is just such a strong baby who’s never outshined by the other characters. She goes through a lot and still is allowed to feel vulnerability, it never quite feels like she has to “prove” herself worthy of being a hero just “because she’s a girl” etc, she’s allowed to be strong and courageous while also weak and in need of help, very multi-layered! And that’s only the main girl HAHA don’t even get me started on the other characters.Some of the later story can be a little weird? There’s some weird real-world references and one of the characters has an interesting(?) gender issue. I don’t personally know how I feel about it but it’s worth having a mild precaution to anyone thinking of going into this series.