#captain picard imagine

[captainpikeswoman]

Deanna discovering your affair with Picard includes:

•Deanna’s suspicions about the Captain have been aroused for several weeks now, somehow he’s more tense and secretive, while also being more relaxed and stress-free. It’s gotten to a point where she’s slightly questioning her own sanity.

•so she turned to Will and Beverley. They observe Picard and come to the conclusion that he does seem to be smiling more. At regular intervals he’ll smile to himself, run his upper lip and then tap away on a PADD for a few minutes before putting it down again and assuming his usual stoic persona. Will sees this and suggests that Picard has a new ‘lady friend’ that he might be messaging.

•Deanna goes full PI (Private Investigator) and starts to discretely follow the Captain- stating that she needs to ensure the ‘safety’ of the Captain- meaning her curiosity wouldn’t let her rest! His routines for the most part remain unchanged…apart from he’s started to check in with the Stellar Cartography department (where you work as Chief) more frequently.

•Deanna watches as the usually nimble and graceful Captain seems to become a bit clumsy and short-sighted as he slowly, seemingly begrudgingly, exits from the work space as he’s summoned elsewhere. He very nearly walks into the wall- his embarrassment hits Deanna like a brick even from her hiding spot some meters away. As the doors quietly hiss close, Deanna just catches a glimpse of your flushed cheeks as you gently bite your lower lip.

•Deanna makes a point of reading up on your file. The more she reads; the more she smiles and her excitement grows. You’re perfect! A challenge for sure, but for Picard…absolutely perfect!

•Deanna’s suspicions are confirmed when you’re summoned to the Captain’s Ready Room one shift to discuss the implementation of a system’s upgrade and the forecast improvements to scanner range etc. it’s a small buzzing feeling at first, Deanna can sense that Picard is pacing in his Ready Room, slightly fizzing with what she perceives as anxiety. But then you walk through the door and…Deanna is awash with sheer delight. She can’t help but grin. The sensation of pleasure and happiness that emanate from you and Picard is enough to have a physical bodily reaction in her.

•she rushes straight to find Will and tell him what she knows…this is about to become THE worst kept secret on the Enterprise.

[gallavichsreddie1128]

The Measure of A Man (Data)

Description: Bruce Maddox wants to take Data and study him without his consent so the enterprise has to come up with a backup plan that involves marriage....

Word Count:2,128

Warning: Some Smut

Request: Data star trek requests open??? 😳😳 I would love to see your take on an arranged marriage/marriage of convenience with data? And reader showing data that he's capable of feeling- especially love? 💗💗

Author’s note: Spoilers for S2 E9

Y/N’s eyes widened at Picard’s words. Her jaw dropped in shock and the world seemed to stop. Y/N was the nurse of the enterprise and she did find herself in dangerous situations at times but this was just crazy. “You and Data are to be married.” She didn’t quite understand why it had to be her.

But as she looked around at the table it made sense. Troi and Riker were basically together and Beverly and Picard had something going on. She did not. Picard looked at her with worry as she didn’t speak. “What?” She finally asked. Picard explained to her that she and Data needed to get married in order to keep Data from Maddox, who wanted to do tests and research on him.

If Data is married and can be proven to have emotions then Bruce Maddox cannot take him away. Y/N gave a deep breath and looked over at Data who stared back at her. I mean at least she would be doing it to help stay, right? She did believe that Data was a being and not a robot. Definitely not a lab rat either. “Okay.” She said in a quiet voice as she stared at her soon to be husband. “You will need to move into my quarters as well.” Data told her.

Y/N sighed as she looked at herself in the mirror. She looked beautiful. The dress fit her body well and it was the exact one she had always wanted. Her hair was half up, half down and her makeup was simple but she looked stunning.

Troi and Beverly helped her get ready. “You look beautiful, Y/N.” Troi smiled at her and Y/N smiled back, though the smile didn’t reach her eyes. She felt nervous about this as if this was something that she saw coming. She wondered if Data was going to stay in his uniform or get a tux. “It’s almost time.” Beverely tells her. 

Picard offered to walk her down the aisle given the fact that she couldn’t get her parents to come that fast. Y/N was shaking as she waited for the wedding to start. “You look great.” Picard said to her. He could tell that she was nervous and wondering if she was making the right decision. Y/N gave him a small smile and thanked him as the music started playing.

Troi and Beverely walked down the aisle with Riker and Geordi. Y/N gave one last deep breath before she began walking. Data looked amazing. He was not in his starfleet uniform which she loved. The tux fit him perfectly and his hair was still slicked back. She couldn’t imagine him any other way. Data, who claims he cannot feel, couldn’t stop staring at Y/N as she walked down the aisle.

They made eye contact and Y/N felt butterflies in her stomach. Data held out his hand for her to take. She smiled as she did and they faced each other. As Picard spoke she couldn’t help but get lost in the android’s eyes. She never really thought about him like this but ever since she found out that she had to marry him, it was all she could think about.

Before she knew it, they were putting the rings on each other’s fingers and kissing to seal the deal. His lips felt nice against hers, almost like they were made for each other. As they walked down the aisle everyone clapping and cheering, Y/N felt happy about this. She wondered if Data felt the same. 

Data, Worf and Riker helped her move into Data’s quarters. Y/N sat on the couch and pet Spot. She couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. “That should do it.” Riker said as he carried her last box. She smiled and thanked him. Data was thanking Worf for the help before they both left. Y/N looked around the room that she now called hers.

Data watched her as they took it all in. “You may decorate it with your things, if you would like.” He told her. “Thank you, Data.” Data sat next to her on the couch and she looked over at him. “The bed is yours since I do not require sleep and the bathroom.” He tells her. “So, what do you do in your free time?” She asked him. He told her that he paints. “Do you have any paintings you would like to share?” She asked and he got up to show her.

He was really good at it but that was to be suspected. “What is it that you like to do?” He asked her. She told him that she loved to watch TV and Movies in her free time and hang in Ten Forward. “What is your favorite movie?” He asked and she answered.

He hadn’t seen that one and would like to watch it with her sometime. She agreed and they kept asking each other questions. “I do have a sexuality program if you are interested.” Her jaw drops. “What?” “I am fully functional.” She never thought about it like that. Sure she remembers when he and Tasha slept together but never asked how it was.

“I know that we are married now but I am not one to jump under the covers with someone that I barely know on a romantic level.” She tells him. “Jump under the covers?” She explains that she means to have sex. 

Data had prepared a meal before Y/N got home so that they could get to know each other better. Y/N walked through the door and smelled food. “Data, are you here?” She asked and saw him prepping the table. “I made dinner.” He said and she smiled at the sight.

“This is a lovely surprise.” She said and he pulled out her chair for her. She thanked him and took a seat. “Data, this is lovely.” She told him as she ate. “I had help from the captain on what to make.” She nodded and took a sip of the wine.

“Well I really appreciate it.” “You had told me a few days ago that you do not engage in intercourse unless you know the person on a romantic level.” Y/N nodded, confirming her words. “I figured that as a married couple we should explore these things together.”

“Data, do you even see me like that?” She asked. He looked at her confused until he got what she meant. “Ah. I do not have the ability to feel emotions but I do think you are very attractive.” He tells her.

“Now I do not think that is true.” She tells him. “You do not view yourself as attractive?” He asked, confusion laced in his voice. She wanted to laugh, “No silly. I think you are capable of emotions.” He did not. “If you are willing to do all this for me and think that I’m attractive. Isn’t that saying something?” He looked down for a moment as he never quite thought about it like that. 

Data was on the bed still in uniform while Y/N was on top of him as they made out. It has been weeks since their first official date and they were taking things slow. Data was a great kisser and knew exactly what to do with his tongue.

The first time they had kissed after the wedding was after the first date but now they were to the point of making out. His tongue was pretty much down her throat as they heavily kissed each other. Data did not need air so they only pulled away when Y/N needed to breathe. “My gosh Data. You’re so good at that.” She praised him.

He moved to kiss her neck. She sighed as he left a hickey or two. And while she was trying to catch her breath from the intense make out session, him kissing her neck didn’t help that. She pulled away from him completely and looked down at him. He looked perfect. Literally! He was not sweating or even blushing.

His hair was still neat and everything. “Wow.” She breathed out. “Is everything okay?” He asked her and she nodded. “Yes you just don’t look like you’ve been kissing me or anything.” He explains that since he is an android he does not sweat or has any issue with his hair or face. She nodded and they went back to kissing. 

Maddox glared at Y/N as she sat by her husband’s side. The trail was nerve wracking and his glare did not help that. Picard assured her that them being married would give them a better chance.

Y/N had hope that was the case and that Data could stay. Not only because he deserved to have his own rights but because she was falling in love with him. Even if he couldn’t love her back, which she believed to be a lie. Even knowing that they were married, Maddox refused to believe that she was in love with what he called a machine.

Y/N wanted to punch the guy but just glared as he spoke. “He can’t care about you like that. He does not have the ability to love you. He’s probably using you.” Using her for what?

This wasn’t even Data’s idea. Maddox had no idea that this was arranged or anything like that. He just jumped to that conclusion by himself. While Data does not believe that he was capable of love, Y/N did and was going to prove it. 

Data held Y/N’s hips as just thrusted on top of him. He watched in awe as she moaned and whimpered at the feeling of him inside of her. Her hips were going faster and faster but still it felt like they were making love. Her hands were placed on his as she closed her eyes and leaned her head back to let out a moan.

Data could not feel sex like she could but it was shown that he felt it in a different way. “Data.” She moaned his name as she chased her high. One of his hands that was placed on her hip moved up to play with her boobs. She gasped as he pinched and rubbed her nipple. The feeling heightens the pleasure.

She grabbed the hand playing with her nipple and brought it to her mouth. She started sucking on his fingers while looking at him. He was not aware that he could feel what he was feeling but when he let out a gasp. He realized that he was orgasmimg.

Her hips stuttered and shook as she whined his name as she came as well. He was in a state of shock for a second as she collapsed on his chest. He was able to orgasm. “Mmm Data are you okay?” She asked and looked up at him.

“Yes I was not aware that I was able to have an orgasm.” Her eyes widened at his words, “And you did?” She asked, sitting up. He nodded and she hugged him, “Data, that’s great!” She kissed him. “How did it feel?” She asked and even with his big words and scientific thoughts, as he explained to her how it felt, she felt herself get turned on again. 

It was Data’s turn to talk and Y/N had her fingers crossed that he, himself, could convince the judge that he was his own being and not just a machine. Picard had asked him about the things he had planned to take with him if he was to leave the enterprise.

Each thing held a special meaning to him that proves he was more than a machine. “What about that woman over there? Nurse Y/N.” Data looked at her and it was like the first time they saw each other at the wedding. “While I have never been capable of emotions and feelings, Nurse Y/N taught me that I was false about that. I have had my first experiences with different emotions because of her.” He said, not breaking eye contact with her.

“What kind of emotions?” Picard asked him. “Love and happiness.” While Y/N was allowed to smile she couldn’t look surprised or run up and hug and kiss him like she wanted too. She smiled at him as he said this. She mouthed “I love you too” to him. 

Though Maddox didn’t get his way in the end, Data was a free man. Data was willing to send logs to him about his life and time on the enterprise. And though this meant that they did not have to stay married any longer they chose to stay married since they loved each other and thanks to Y/N, Data realized that he did have emotions and that he can feel and experience them.

[steakout-05]

ok so i was in the shower one time and my brain trailed off and i just started imagining what if the Enterprise got a distress signal that has been sent from the 21st century and when they look at it it's just stupid ancient meme shitpostery. like they think they've come across a really weird time-travelling anomaly and they put it on main viewer and they just get colossally rickrolled from 300 years in the past. it hasn't left my head for the past few days so now you must witness my vision

Data: Captain, it appears we are somehow receiving an unusual distress signal originating from the ancient year of 2024.

*Picard and Riker exchange looks*

Riker: 2024..? That's impossible.

Picard: Hm... Unusual indeed. Put it on main viewer.

Data: Aye sir.

and then the viewscreen activates and it's just this

[bumblingbabooshka]

Hey, Star Trek Writers... -taps the glass-

[lordlexion]

I've just been watching the episode with Vash (s03e19) and I'm constantly in shock at how similar she and Q are. Their free spirit, their protest against limiting rules, their pursuit of freedom and adventure, their fascination. There's obviously something different about her nature, but she's still very much like that of Q. Plus, the way she looks at Picard is almost identical to that of Q…

Still her words, “Don't you see? We are a lot alike.” They are, and very much so, as are Q and Picard… Literally, their nature as explorers, the need for some excitement and danger in their lives-

I just can't!

On top of that, the chemistry between Vash and Picard was far better than that between Picard and Beverly… Like, throughout the episode, I sat with one big “damn!” on my face.

Fortunately or not, my brain was constantly revolving around Q and Picard, and I couldn't stop imagining what it would have been like if Q had been in her place instead of Vash. Picard and our favourite entity on a more or less archaeological expedition, sleeping in some cave or under the open sky – that would have been my dream come true. Talking together about all sorts of topics, drinking hot tea together (Earl Grey of course) and kissing and much more-

I really enjoyed the whole episode, but more than that, I was immersed in my qcard fantasy.

I had to include GIFs of this scene, sorry no sorry, my brain in place of Vash's put Q.

And then there's this:

I can't! My little qcard shipper heart can't take it.

[alliswyattonthewesternfront]

my only trek hot take is that they shoulda let Marina Sirtis keep her cockney accent for the show. cowards.

[winged-mammal]

my only picard finale thought: this was a season full of self indulgent nostalgic fanfiction, but the difference between this and actual self indulgent nostalgic fanfiction is that fanfiction writers usually at least try to cover it up with good writing and good characterization

[cptnjeanlucpicard]

I mean, it was either Q or Riker and you already said 'no' to Riker. And kissing you with a very visible lipstick so that everyone who sees you knows that you are 'taken'/are already with someone seems like something Q would do. Besides, Commander Riker never really gave off the vibe of being the slightly possessive/jealous type and Dr. Crusher knows of your need for professionalism and maybe would have used a more .. subtle lipstick. So Q it is.

Tell us, Captain, was the lipstick hard to wash off? Isn't the kiss a slightly bit visible when you look in the bathroom mirror?

...fine, I suppose I can't deny it was Q. But we are not romantically involved. He did it to stir up rumors and annoy me.

It was incredibly hard to wash off, I assume to inconvenience me even more. I even asked Ensign Q to snap it off at one point, but she refused.

[gaylordlady]

So, turns out when my mum was visiting my dad whilst he was working overseas in America in 1998, the Star Trek experience was going on whist they were visiting Los Vegas and my mum told my dad; "If we get married at the Star Trek Experience, I will only do it if Jean-Luc Picard slash Patrick Stewart officiates."

[ilikethequiet]

Todd Stashwick in Star Trek: Picard 3x04 - No Win Scenario (Set 1)

[captainpikeswoman]

Picard’s wedding vows to you:

“Ma Cherie, words could never adequately do justice in trying to explain just how much you mean to me, and how much I love you. It feels clichéd to say that I love you more today than yesterday, and tomorrow even more than today.” He chuckles quietly as he meets your eyes, and squeezes your hands in his momentarily. He feels awkward speaking so emotionally, emotively in front of his whole crew. But somehow, stood there with you; the whole world faded, it was just the two of you. Shakespeare summarises it best I think:

“My bounty is as boundless as the sea,My love as deep; the more I give to thee,

The more I have, for both are infinite.”

I love you Cherie, and today I proudly proclaim it for all our family and friends to hear.”

The rapturous applause from your colleagues, friends, your family swelled as he finished by sweeping you into his arms and dipped you in a heart-shattering kiss, even though it wasn’t time to kiss yet! You giggled against his lips, eyes slightly water-logged as you pulled away, preparing to say your own vows.

“Rebel.” You labelled him quietly, whispering so only he could hear. Jean-Luc winked, oh he was trouble!

[yourbuerokrat2]

Jealous!Picard, even in a platonic setting, would be interesting. Because Picard would deny it to anyone and especially to himself that he was feeling jealous in regards to Q. 

And I think especially late in/after TNG it would kind of make sense for him even if only in the sense that it must certainly be good for ones ego to know/feel that you are the (relucant depending on interpretation) Favorite of a godlike entity who ‘chose’ you amongst literally billions and billions of other beings in all of time and space. 

But also can you imagine Qs incredibly pleased reaction at finding out despite how Picard might try to hide it to finding out?

[steakout-05]

Data: Captain, permission to break it down sloppy style?

Captain Picard: ..... Proceed, Data.

Data: *proceeds to do the nastiest most raw orange justice you've ever seen be done by any life form in the galaxy*

[mandatory-blog-stop-asking]

thinking about Emma Frost again. let's imagine for a second X-Men matters and my opinion must be shared.

When I was a kid I really respected and liked Professor X. I thought his stances on issues were calm and reasonable and I thought his efforts were, while ultimately fruitless, the best ones in the fictional conversation about inclusivity and race and all that. this is a subtle reference to the fact I only watched the cartoon and the movies as a kid.

When I grew older and learned English I started engaging with the comics and realized that oh, turns out the adaptations are superficial at best and fladerizing at worst, and there's a lot more to Charles than Being Correct. He's actually in fact a scathing critique of control and flawed leaders of good faith ideals, and how you're supposed to grow over those who created the words you use to free yourself from tyranny. Professor X is a jerk, Magneto was right, all that.

But over time I realized how much that erases Emma Frost, villain turned voice of reason extraordinaire.

Emma starts her tenure in X-Men as Claremont's personification of everything that is bad with high society, accosted by Sebastian Shaw, which is that but male. Emma is genuinely awful when Claremont writes her; a GOOD awful, on purpose, but she's not supposed to be relatable. She has her own mutant school, her own team of mutants, her own answer to Cerebro. She's the most genuine Evil Xavier we get for a full two decades. and she's great at it! Even if the hellfire club almost always truces with the X-Men for the sake of fighting a more important battle, there's no question that you're not supposed to root for Emma.

And then in the 90s something changes, Claremont goes away for a second, other people approach the character, and the question becomes, why are we treating her like evil Xavier? She's building community. She's giving a voice to the disenfranchised. She's training them and she's caring for them and at no point is she asking of them things they actively disagree with, which can't be said of Charles. And so starts the process most every X-Men villain goes through: humanization, complexity, redemption. And fuck does Emma redeem herself.

Ten years into not being a caricature of high class, Emma has accrued a tragic backstory, several positive projects in canon, renown as a genius, positive relationships to several characters, and a main team spot in a highly acclaimed, influential run as of New X-Men. A whole new generation of readers introduced to Emma, new powers, new MO, new everything. Other characters are changing drastically, usually backwards, to accompany the movie's success -- Magneto is evil again, Jean goes back to being the Phoenix, Charles is a lot more like Captain Picard. But Emma? Emma gets to keep going. She changes things wherever she goes.

She hooks up with Cyclops, her daughters become their new Cerebro, she becomes the new heavy-hitter, the Hellfire Club becomes more Shaw and Shinobi's deal than hers... obviously, this isn't consistent. She's got low points and moments that don't agree to her new character. But this woman, who started as commentary on how the rich will destroy you for fun, is now a key positive portion of the world because at some point in time, she had a point -- Charles *isn't* the end-all-be-all of the matter of teaching young mutants, Erik *isn't* the best way forward as far as mutant armadas go, there *is* nuance to their dualistic conversation, the dichotomy is only enforced because they're loud, but she can be louder, she can be louder than any of them--

And then Krakoa hits. Yes, there's a full ten years of bad X-Men stories, many of them including Emma, at least one of them including Emma genociding a few Inhumans. But then Krakoa hits, and every character gets a new project.

Cyclops? Seeing the world move on in ways he might not approve of. Wolverine? Being happy, and realizing he means to fight to keep it going. Erik? Charles? Apocalypse?? Seeing how strong their "dreams" are when they compromise, and realizing oh, I am willing to do *anything* to keep this going, quite literally anything, there is no crime predicted by man or god that would be beyond my reach if it meant paradise would not be lost.

Emma? Emma keeps doing what she's been doing from the word go. Keep it fabulous. Keep the children safe. Don't fall for the lies. At some point someone will invade your privacy and try to take everything away from you. Your job is not to simply destroy them. Your job is to showcase to them how this too was accounted for.

Emma, alongside her planning, her alliances, her leading of the resistance, her unfathomable internal strength and her willingness to see the world for what it is, won the war for Krakoa. Charles wanted things to stay the way they were, Erik wanted things to be the way he dreamed they could be, Apocalypse wanted things to impress him.

Emma wanted them to be safe and sound. Emma wanted the children to be safe. And when Krakoa rose and left, now fully developed and having outgrown her as well, she picked herself back up and went to train a new generation.

There's always children to keep safe. There's always a new generation. The work is never finished.

Yes, the O5 have their own version of Xavier's dream fulfilled, but Emma is the only one who managed to keep herself genuine while evolving. In a room with religious zealots, war criminals, villains and ancients evils, Emma could always look at Kitty Pryde and think to herself, look at what we're doing, my friend. Look at what we have to work with. We're not saving them from themselves, we're saving everyone they're willing to sacrifice.

I wish those adaptations would make Emma Frost sound like she does to me. She's not just a third option to the Professor X-Magneto dichotomy. She's a person asking why is this a dichotomy in the first place. She's too busy actually caring about people to bother with the bickering.

For the children, they said when they wanted her to join their little utopia. For the children, she sighed back, realizing that if she didn't say it, quite literally no one else would.

[windvexer]

On what I'm going to call "peer positioning" in witchcraft, and the scary empowerment it can bring you

I think a lot of people who get into witchcraft have a problem with being able to see themselves as peers & equals to the powers they cultivate around them.

I see this most often discussed when it comes to gods. "Just because your god asks you for something doesn't mean you need to do it!" Etc. I think we've all heard that.

But today my thoughts are on the tarot, and how some people seem to treat tarot readings as "the truth" or "the answer" that then must be followed, even if they (the living, breathing, human practitioner) don't really agree or don't really want to do that.

I'm really big on the analogy of a witch as a monarch, and the concept of various powers (like gods, spirits, tools, and spells) being counselors in the throne room.

In this context, it's easier to adopt the mindset that all of these powers have their own personalities, abilities, and goals - and that they can & will provide conflicting information when you ask for advice. (Especially ancestors - so opinionated!)

Imagine Captain Picard sitting in the meeting room with Geordi, Riker, and the rest of the space nerds.

Captain Picard is like, "the power core is failing and the away team is stranded on the planet. I think we should use the nebula to hide until the Gromflomites stop searching for us." And then Geordi is like, "but Captain, the engines would never make it! We have to go rescue the away team immediately!" And Captain Picard is like, "damn... Wow. I really wanted to go to the nebula, I thought it was the best choice :/ but if you're saying we literally don't have to worry about the Gromflomites..." Then Riker is like, "Captain, no. Geordi isn't saying the Gromflomites aren't a problem, he's just expressing his top concerns as Chief Engineer." And then Picard is all, "oh, so... this is conflicting information? Did that mean I did a bad reading on Geordi, or that negative spirits are stopping me from being able to communicate? Is Riker possibly a trickster?"

If you're captain of the ship, monarch of the kingdom, (etc.), then it might be important to ask yourself:

Am asking for input from my counsel of allied powers, and then making choices for myself?

Or, have I inadvertently signed over my decision-making process to these powers?

And I think it all kind of comes back to "peer positioning," or, witches being able to develop a spiritual framework within which they are equals to the powers around them.

Since beginning practicing witchcraft in earnest, I have often demanded a course of direction. Instead of asking, "how do I accomplish this?" I would ask, "what do I do?"

And the answer was the same every time, deeply infuriating, but also very scary: "Do whatever you think is best."

I think that's the problem of being the captain of the ship. Once your counselors are done giving their input, you are the one who has to make the final call.

Lately I've really been on a kick about witchcraft as a path of empowerment, and I think that viewing spiritual input as just that - input - is a vital part of the process.

Even if you are a true-blue believer in the magical power of tarot, tarot is still just one counselor sitting in your throne room.

Even if you have tutelary spirits, guardians and guides, gods and angels, providing blessings and support - they are not sitting at the head of the table.

You are.

I think that a framework of allied powers as peers and equals is relatively basic, and does have its flaws. But I also think it can be helpful in a variety of ways:

It can provide a system of understanding why allied powers can give conflicting advice, or even seemingly bad advice that doesn't align with our personal desires.

It can provide a tool for processing spiritual input.

It helps restore a sense of personal authority to a practitioner.

It can help a practitioner reclaim control of a path that's grown a mind of its own.

It aids in practicing that most oppressive of skills - liberated autonomy.

I just think it's something to consider. At the end of the day, most of us have probably got to make our own calls.

[I'm making this post because in the past few months I've been helping witches consult the tarot, and they've been giving feedback like, "so this is what I should do, right?" or, "what is it telling me to do?"

I can basically see the huge reblogs where people are explaining that a period of time where they signed complete personal autonomy over to their god was the most empowering and spiritually electric time in their lives,

and I want you to know, I'm not speaking about vows and oaths made to entities that gives them control over your life. I'm talking about situations where witches put down their autonomy so they can have both hands free to shuffle tarot.]

[milehighmegs]

On the Subject of Fandoms: A Love Letter

So, I'm old. Well, oldER. I haven't entered the twilight of my years by any stretch, but once I entered that midlife wistful state of nostalgia, I knew that I had very likely reached the point at which it would be more past than future. And ya know, that's ok. I made peace with my mortality long ago. I don't fear death, I fear not living before I die.

So what's that got to do with fandoms? you may be asking. Fair enough. Here's what it's got to do with fandoms:

Before it was even a term, before I could do multiplication or write my name in cursive (I told you I'm old), I was part of a fandom and didn't even know it. My parents watched 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' when it was still on primetime; we even recorded the final episode on VHS and had it for years. (I told you, I'M OLD.) It was so incredibly formative for me that it's become part of my identity, part of my moral & ethical code, part of my personality. Is that ridiculous? Dramatic? Maybe even a bit of hubris? Perhaps. But it's true, nonetheless.

I've since joined other fandoms, of movie franchises (namely the MCU), TV shows (like Good Omens), and musicians (I'm a die-hard metalhead) over the course of my life, each of them creating/inhabiting a different part of what makes me ME. Though I've always remained the same basic person at my core (a decent one at least if not a good one, I hope), being a part of these fandoms has shaped the foundations of how I live my life, and how I've LIVED my life.

Being on the proverbial back nine of my earthly existence, looking back at what's come before, at how far I've come and all the things I've fucked up or gotten right, questioned, accepted, regretted, cherished... so much of that is filled with moments like, 'what would Captain Picard do? How would the Avengers handle this? Which Slipknot song would be most comforting right now?' With the explosion of semi-social media sites (like tumblr here, and its gateway drug, Pinterest), I've been able to dive even deeper into the fandom. The fic, the art, the theories & analyses... it turns my appreciation for all these things I love to 11. But it wouldn't be possible without the most critical element: the fans.

Because people have such a love for, and identify so strongly with the stories & characters of their respective fandoms, they go deep into hidden meanings, major themes, & what they imagine these stories would be like if they were able to direct the action. More than anything, what I love about fanfic/fanart is that while yes, we're creating what we want for the characters, it's more a reflection of what we want for ourselves, both in the same situation as the characters and in life in general. For example, I see SO MUCH art/fic of Crowley & Aziraphale being open & free in showing their love for each other. I see so many stories of them making up and living happily ever after. The art ranges from sweet & adorable to... ah... adult-themed, but the vast majority of the latter is passionate, tender, & clearly loving; rarely is it straight-up raunchy. Smutty? Totally. Raunchy? Not so much. And why? Because we know these two are IN LURVE, not just in lust. And we want what they (clearly) have, even if they can't admit it to one another. We, the fans, can live vicariously through these characters and these worlds, and there we can find what we're looking for.

I've had a rollercoaster of a life, emotionally speaking, especially in matters of romantic love, and much of that hasn't been pleasant. I've done so much soul-searching, shadow work, self-care and all that whathaveyou, but none of it- NONE of it- has come anywhere near to being as insightful as the fan-based art & analyses of the relationship between Crowley & Zira. I have spent the vast majority of the last week thinking about it, writing about it, going over & over how it applies to my life & experiences, and I gotta say... none of it would be possible without the remarkable Good Omens fandom. So seriously, thank you. THANK YOU. You've helped to make me a better person. You've helped to make me look back on my life, smile, and turn around... to look forward to what comes next.

Keep up the incredible work, creators. You never know whose life you could be saving.