#captain frank hurley

[stephenist]

National War Memorial on North Terrace photographed by Captain Frank Hurley *1

[oceanic316]

A very short analysis of all* the dads and daddy issues on lost

*Considering every character that was a main character

Daniel

Charles widmore- complete sociopath in many ways, only met Daniel when he was an adult to manipulate him into going to the island on which he would be killed by his mother which Charles witnessed

Boone

Split up with his mother at some point, was clearly left with a nanny frequently enough to kill her, definitely has unresolved issues with his dead stepfather as he fell in love with the stepsister

Miles,

Very obvious dad issues from being raised without him present. Did get to meet him but he was a bit of a dick tbh. I guess he did love him but too little too late

Michael

Little known about his dad but only his mum was looking after Walt off island. His role as a dad could be interpreted as daddy issues

Ana Lucia

Deffo has mommy issues but the lack of clear father figure points to possible daddy issues as does her time with Christian

Charlotte

Goes to shithole island to try to discover her father who was never there. Clearly has daddy issues regardless of her fathers (unknown) quality.

Frank

Has issues but there’s every chance they are NOT daddy issues. Good for him

Shannon

He’s dead and his widow is a terrible stepmother. Daddy issues up to here-may have contributed to her sleeping with her brother

Desmond

He had to raise his siblings so this points again to an absent (at the very least emotionally) father. Daddy issues

Eko

Had to raise his brother suggesting a largely absent father who wasn’t around much

Kate

Blew up her real father due to his general terribleness, her stepfather was in the army so probably has issues over him not being around all that much even though he seems like an alright guy

Jack

Jacks daddy issues regarding Christian are basically a main plot point of the show and even made it into the finale. Points to Christian for feeding into a lot of the characters daddy issues

Sawyer

Dear Mr Sawyer… probably the nastiest daddy issues, doesn’t really get much worse than murder suicide with your kid under the bed. All of sawyers bad bits are due to his daddy issues. Also has daddy issue ties to Christian and Anthony

Locke

Attempted murder was a pretty bad look from Anthony as was the kidney theft. Anthony traveled across the world giving kids daddy issues left right and centre, despite only Locke being shown as his biological kid

Ben

Skeletor was not a great dad and is a key reason captain bunny killer is so messed up. Also bens habit of adopting children (Ethan, Alex) is likely linked to his own crappy upbringing

Sayid

His dad the war hero gave him some toxic masculinity problems, sayid not killing a chicken is our only main clue but it was pretty dark

Libby

Like everything involving Libby’s past, her parents are a big mystery. She does have dead husband issues?

Sun

Mr Paik for sure messed Sun up. His treatment of Jin and his general murdery tendency affected sun not only as a child but also screwed up her marriage

Jin

Jins dad is the nicest guy on the list, but jin had intense daddy issues due to his shame and being raised by a single father.

Claire

Christian really putting it out of the park here! Being the result of an affair involving an American doctor cannot have been fun and his absence in her life probably didn’t help with her wanting to give Aaron up. Also may have contributed to her not trusting Charlie that much

Hurley

David Reyes is an asshole, but he’s a pretty run of the mill, leave my family and don’t come back til there’s money, but he made the most effort to fix things. Hugo has big daddy issues tho

Juliet

Pretty standard daddy issues but her parents divorce clearly stayed with her and led her into some pretty unhealthy relationships later on in life

Charlie

Charlie’s dad seems like quite a nice guy if I’m honest but his older brother messed him up enough I’m happy to say Charlie has something very close emotionally to daddy issues

Richard

Too much of an enigma for a strong analysis but imma go out on a limb and say yes

Bernard

I don’t think so?

Rose

She seems pretty well adjusted so I think no

Vincent

Everyone on the island has been his dad at some point- probably missed Walt his original dad a lot

[silverjetsystm]

❝ oh god. i remember this place. ❞ Stepping back into it felt like yesterday, the sandbox always closer to him than home ever could be. Didn't matter how long he'd been back now. How long since the desert. Going back to it felt like waking up to a truer reality than the one he lived every day in the city, doing what he did. The more he looks around, the more he's sucked in— quickly losing the thread of how he got here, how THEY Got here. The magical shenanigans of it all. Not his paygrade, not his schtick but he'd been with Marc in the suit... and there, just there, up ahead. That crumbling building they'd cleared on their own after getting separated from the rest of the company. Radio said to bunker down. Hard task in enemy territory, taking fire from all sides. Finding shelter had been imperative. The blasts coming out of that place seemed manageable enough, so Frank had charged... busting door with weight, firing into the dark, trusting his six to Spector without a thought. It calls to him now and he alll but forgets Marc is still there.

Dreamcore/Weirdcore | Accepting!

“The sand has rules. Fucked up rules, but rules nonetheless.” — Kameron Hurley

Grains of sand carry the scent of war. Metal and corpse. Sulfur and smoke. All deserts have become Mitzrayim in his inner world. Smashed hourglasses beneath his boots. Reality and time are different for him.

Not a village. Not urban warfare. Not a single block representing the span of a career, one for -- Cobwebbed confusion, shadow flicker expressions. Normally, he can give an estimate. Number of conflicts, of combatants, of civilians impacted beneath his feet.

Specifics narrow the narrow places. One building, falling in on itself.

When Spector wore the flag on his shoulder. Castle and Spector stranded. A choice between the enemy's shelter or exposure is no choice at all. Castle up ahead, like he should be, like he had been in whites when Marc and his friends were in the asylum years ago. Castle represents Castle on the outside. Representations fit their surroundings. Or should. Moon Knight, at Frank's six yet yards away, can't put his finger on why his back is off. Odd choice. Clear-cut survival compared to the various deeds and omissions they had done in the sandbox.

Cloth face turns his face towards the beak, the crescent moon above. "Khonshu?" Cloak flaps like a white flag, revealing the symbol on white body armor rather than desert camouflage. The god doesn't answer. Or if he does, whispers do not reach his fist's ears over the wind.

Yellow lights from a rattling generator trace Frank's black clothing, bucket-free short hair. Had it been day? Threat of dehydration, cooking in MCCUUs? Dark with dust and sandstorm, blinding them? Or was it calm, calm and still like a dream? Cocktail of emotions flooding adrenaline into him, at the Captain's six, taking out anyone who looked in his direction, until they were the only ones who breathed. They had glimpsed what each other could do before this. Wild dog and force of nature. Maybe that's the big mystery.

Shhhh sighs the breeze, detuned channel static. Shhhh.

Like --

❝ oh god. i remember this place. ❞ Remember. Representations don't--

"Cap'n!" Old rank with old bent affection bursts from teeth, Moon Knight sprinting across sand, cloak and moonlight one. Sniper had shitty aim, like before. Dart flies its deadly way home. Muffled cough. Shape of darkness swaying before the tell-tale and final thud.

He reaches Frank before he 'knocks,' hand on his shoulder. "Frank. Wait." Dream or not, Frank's own 'trick/curse' or not, Marc couldn't let him sleepwalk in.

Movement. Smell of food and low chatter. Darts gleam in his hands. Bullets would feel real, could have real consequences. He isn't going to yearn for a gun. Not now.

"We're not here," he snaps in Frank's ear.

Where was Steven? Jake? Inside the building? Another dream? Outside? One of Moon Knight's old enemies with ebony eyes? No time to trace the roadmap back, debate if there was anyone who shouldn't be on the other side of the trigger. 'Weird' is Moon Knight's shtick. Put it all aside. Kill.

"Treat it like real. We'll figure it out after."

[theseunfinishedlives]

#theseunfinishedlives: an independent, multi muse, canon* crossover world building blog for various characters from many fandoms; *now includes less than a handful of original characters.

Important: This is now a private writing blog affiliated with @mockingjaybroken only. Please do not attempt to interact with me if you are not the affiliated blog. I will block you.

BBC Ghosts

Rogh / Robin

Descendants

Doug Harry Hook

Hacksaw Ridge

Milt Zane Smitty Ryker

Jack, the Giant Slayer

Elmont

Les Misérables

Combeferre Enjolras

Lost in Austen

Piranha

MCU (Captain America: The First Avenger)

Steve Rogers - pre or post serum

Nancy Drew PC Games

Alec Fell Beatrice Hotchkiss Carson Drew Charlotte Thornton David Gregory Dexter Egan Dirk Valentine Donal Delany Fiona Malloy Frank Hardy Grigor Karakinos Gunnar Tonnisson Harper Thornton Henry Bolet Jacques Brunais Jake Hurley Joe Hardy Josiah Crowley Mickey Malone Millie Strathorn Mr Harris Ned Nickerson Nico Petit Pa Renate Stoller Thanos Ganas The monster of Castle Finster Unnamed OC storm chaser

Saving Private Ryan

Irwin Wade Richard Reiben

Sky High

Warren Peace

The Chronicles of Narnia

Lucy Pevensie

The Green Mile

Dean Stanton

The Host

Wanderer

The Hunger Games

Darius Peeta Mellark

The Little Mermaid '89

Prince Eric

Den Lille Havfrue (The Little Mermaid)

The Little Mermaid

The Pendragon Cycle

Myrddin

The Secret Garden

Dickon Sowerby Mary Lennox

Titanic

Tommy Ryan

Twilight

Bella Swan Brady Fuller Carlisle Cullen Collin Littlesea Embry Call Ephraim Black Jacob Black Jared Cameron Levi Uley Liam Maggie Paul Lahote Quil Ateara II Quil Ateara V Sam Uley Seth Clearwater Siobhán

[thisdayinwwi]

Hurley Photoshops

Officials first banned Frank Hurley from “photoshopping” his WW1 photos but OTD Oct 6 1917 they approved his composites, giving him “permission to make six combination enlargements in the exhibition!” 

Oct. 2, 1917

I sent in my resignation this morning and await the result of igniting the fuse. It is disheartening, after striving to secure the impossible and running all hazards to meet with little encouragement.

Oct. 6, 1917

I am sending in 150 negatives this week. Headquarters have given me permission to make six combination enlargements in the exhibition! So I withdrew my resignation. They must at least appreciate my efforts, as they were dead against this being done. However, it will be no delusion on the public as they will be distinctly titled, setting forth the number of negatives used, etc….

AWM E05988A

"Over the top". A composite photograph, originally known as "A hop over", constructed by Captain Frank Hurley, an Official War Photographer. (For an enhanced caption for this image see P01438.001).

AWM P01438.001

Looking out from the entrance of a captured Pill-box on to the shell ravaged battlefield. (located at XV*/Wor W 1/8) -  423850

"Battle scarred sentinels." -  423850

Zillebeke, Belgium. c. 1917. British Army stretcher bearers carrying wounded personnel off the battlefield as German Army artillery shells burst nearby. (Donor British Official Photograph D2037) AWM H09302

"Death the Reaper." -  423850

"The dawn of Passchendale. The Relay Station near Zonnebeke Station." 

PIC FH 10882 LOC H8/14

Colourized by Baptiste Pierre

Frank Hurley created this “photoshopped” picture, AWM E01480, on Nov 5 1917. It is actually 2 separate pictures AWM E01197 (Oct 29 1917) and AWM E01222 (#OTD Oct 28 1917) Colourized by #pieceofjake Some of Hurley's most famous shots of WWI are his “improved” composite photographs

[chrisgaffey]

Sir Ernest Henry Shackleton CVO OBE FRGS FRSGS, led three British expeditions to the Antarctic. His journey began at 16 when he left school, and went to sea. During the following eight years, Shackleton learned his trade and in 1898, he was certified as a master mariner, qualifying him to command a British ship anywhere in the world.

Shackleton's first experience of the polar regions was as third officer on Captain Scott’s ‘Discovery’ expedition 1901-1904 on which Scott, Wilson and Shackleton set a new southern record by reaching latitude 82°S. The three men all suffered from snow blindness, frostbite and scurvy. Scott sent Shackleton home on a relief ship in 1903 on the grounds of ill health although there is conjecture that Scott's true motive for removing him was resentment of Shackleton's popularity with the crew. Although in public the men remained mutually respectful and cordial it has been suggested that Shackleton's dislike of Scott provided the driving motivation for his return to the Antarctic in an attempt to outdo Scott.

During the ‘Nimrod’ expedition 1907-1909 Shackleton established a new record reaching latitude 88°S, only 97 miles from the South Pole, the largest advance to the pole in exploration history and members of his team made the first ascent of Mount Erebus. Despite the difficult conditions and shortage of supplies Shackleton's ability to communicate with each man kept the progress of the party focused. Their return journey to McMurdo Sound was a race against starvation, on half-rations for much of the way. At one point, Shackleton gave his one biscuit allotted for the day to the ailing Frank Wild. For these achievements, Shackleton was knighted by King Edward VII on his return home.

When Amundsen reached the South Pole first in 1911, Shackleton turned his attention to the crossing of Antarctica from sea to sea, via the pole, a journey of 1,800 miles across the continent, and set about making preparations for what became the fateful Imperial Trans-Antartic Expedition 1914–1917. Public interest in the expedition was considerable; Shackleton received more than 5,000 applications to join it. His interviewing and selection methods were considered eccentric; believing that character and temperament were as important as technical ability, he asked unconventional questions. Shackleton also relaxed traditional hierarchies to promote camaraderie, such as distributing the ship's chores equally among officers, scientists, and seamen. He also socialised with his crew members every evening after dinner. Despite the outbreak of the First World War on 3 August 1914, ‘Endurance’ was directed by First Lord of the Admiralty Winston Churchill to proceed and left British waters on 8 August.

Disaster struck when ‘Endurance’ became trapped in pack ice and was slowly crushed, the wreck finally slipping beneath the surface on 21 November 1915. The crew escaped with provisions, camping on the sea ice for almost 2 months until it disintegrated. On 9 April Shackleton ordered the crew into their three lifeboats. After five harrowing days at sea, the exhausted men landed at Elephant Island, 346 miles from where the Endurance sank. Shackleton gave his mittens to photographer Frank Hurley, who had lost his during the boat journey and Shackleton suffered frostbitten fingers as a result. 

Elephant Island was an inhospitable place, far from any shipping routes and rescue by means of chance discovery was very unlikely. Consequently, Shackleton decided to risk an open-boat journey to South Georgia Island, a stormy ocean voyage of 720 nautical miles, Shackleton's most famous exploit. 

The strongest of the tiny 20-foot lifeboats, christened ‘James Caird’ after the expedition's chief sponsor, was chosen for the trip and Ship's carpenter Harry McNish made various improvements, including raising the sides, strengthening the keel, building a makeshift deck of wood and canvas. Although Shackleton had clashed with McNish during the time when the party was stranded on the ice, he recognised his value and the vital importance of crew morale to the success of this mission. Shackleton, McNish, Worsley, Crean, Vincent and McCarthy set off on 24 April 1916 with supplies for no more than four weeks, as Shackleton knew if they did not reach South Georgia within that time, the boat and its crew would be lost. 

For fifteen days they sailed through the waters of the southern ocean, in constant peril of capsizing. Thanks to Worsley's navigational skills, the cliffs of South Georgia came into sight but hurricane-force winds prevented the possibility of landing. They were able to finally land on the unoccupied southern shore the following day and after a period of recuperation, Shackleton, Worsley and Crean set off to cross the island over dangerous mountainous terrain equipped only with boots they had pushed screws into, a carpenter's adze and 50 feet of rope. After 36 hours they reached the Whaling Station at Stromness on 20 May.  Shackleton immediately set to work to organise the rescue of his men on Elephant Island. His first three attempts were foiled by sea ice but eventually evacuated all 22 men, after four and half months of isolation. He then travelled to New Zealand to join the ship Aurora to rescue the second group of men stranded at McMurdo Sound who had carried out its depot-laying mission to the full, but had lost three lives including that of its commander, Aeneas Mackintosh. 

When Shackleton returned to England in May 1917, Europe was in the midst of WWI. Suffering from a heart condition, made worse by the fatigue of his arduous journeys, and too old to be conscripted, he nevertheless volunteered for the army.

In 1921, he returned to the Antarctic but died of a heart attack while his ship was moored in South Georgia, and his body was buried there. 

Upon his death, Shackleton was lauded in the press but was thereafter largely forgotten, until later in the 20th century when he was rediscovered as a role model for leadership in extreme circumstances.

[why-do-i-like-the-bad-guys]

List of my favorite Characters and their Hogwarts Houses:

Slytherin Characters:

Eric Northman-True Blood

Brock Rumlow-Marvel

Donald Pierce-Logan

Bobo Del Rey-Wynona Earp

Hiram Lodge-Riverdale

Percival Graves-fantastic beasts

Klaus Mikealson-TVD

Elliot Stabler-Law and Order SVU/OC

Richard Wheatley- Law and Order OC

Aaron Hotchner-Criminal Minds

Gregory House- House MD

James “Sawyer” Ford-Lost

Peter Hale-Teen Wolf

William Tavington-The Patriot

Captain Lorca-Star Trek Discovery

Dr. Volver-A Cure for Wellness

Perry Wright-Big Little Lies

Dean Winchester-Supernatural

Hans Gruber-Die Hard

Negan-Walking Dead

Shane Walsh-Walking Dead

Frank Castle-Punisher

Tony Stark-MCU

Enzo-TVD

Margo Hanson-The Magicians

Hufflepuff Characters:

Ray-In Bruges

Dr. Huang-Law and Order SVU

Garcia-Criminal Minds

Hurley-Lost

Desmond Hume-Lost

Benjamin McKay-Stockholm Pennsylvania

Dr. James Wilson-House MD

Lincoln-What Maisie Knew

Marty-Seven Psychopaths

Lafayette-True Blood

Danny Williams-H50

Ravenclaw Characters:

Alaric Saltzman-TVD

Spencer Reid-Criminal Minds

Munch-Law and Order SVU

Richard Alpert-Lost

HAP-The OA

Elijah Mikaelson-TVD

Gryffindor Characters:

Fin Tutuola-Law and Order SVU

Derek Morgan-Criminal Minds

Jack Shepard-Lost

Chris Argent-Teen Wolf

Jackson Brodie-Case Histories

Leo Barnes-The Purge

Alcide-True Blood

Steve McGarrett-H50

Alex Romero-Bates Motel

Stefan Salvatore-TVD

[transparentgentlemenmarker]

Ernest Shackleton's Lost Ship Found 107 Years After Sinking Off Antarctica. An expedition set off from South Africa last month to search for the ship, which was crushed by ice and sank in November 1915

Falklands Maritime Heritage Trust/National Geographic

Scientists say they have found the sunken wreck of polar explorer Ernest Shackleton’s ship Endurance, more than a century after it was lost to the Antarctic ice. The Falklands Maritime Heritage Trust says the vessel lies 3,000 meters (10,000 feet) below the surface of the Weddell Sea, about 6.4 kilometers (four miles) south of the location recorded in 1915 by its captain, Frank Worsley. We are delighted to learn that the Endurance22 expedition has succeeded

in their search for Sir Ernest Shackleton's ship Endurance

Endurance Ship 1907

Frank Hurley

Penguins listening to a gramophone during Ernest Shackleton’s expedition to Antarctica 1907

March 5 2022

[equatorjournal]

Frank Hurley, The Taboo Goblins of Urama, 1920. "These are employed by the old men of the tribe to keep the village in control and to guard certain fruits and vegetables for use at festival time..." From the book "Pearls and savages: adventures in the air, on land and sea; New Guinea", 1924. "A fascinating travel into the uncharted lands of New Guinea and its people, this amazing book collects the adventures of Captain Frank Hurley, whose exploration took him deep into the beauty and mystery of the yet unknown landscapes of the island. Filled with pictures and photographs of a rare precision, Pearls and Savages presents itself as a travel account, while being really a revealing as well as entertaining study on one of the most exotic and fascinating places on Earth." https://www.instagram.com/p/CJWtI9jAWae/?igshid=kbl3awa5uza6

[dannyreviews]

The Right Stuff (1983)

On Saturday (5/30), the first manned mission to space in 9 years took place as astronauts Bob Behnken and Doug Hurley commenced a 2 man trip to the International Space Station. It was a sight to be seen and it made me want to dig through my DVR and tune in to an almost 3 year old recording of “The Right Stuff”. Philip Kaufman’s 1983 epic adventure is a thrilling journey into the establishment of the NASA astronaut program and the impact it had on the United States’ status in the world.

The film opens up in 1947 at the Edwards Air Base in California where ace military test pilot Chuck Yeager (Sam Shepard) broke the sound barrier. Subsequently, this creates a rivalry with fellow pilot Scott Crossfield (Scott Wilson) where they constantly break the other’s speed records. Yeager and Crossfield make the acquaintance of Air Force captains Gus Grissom (Fred Ward), Gordo Cooper (Dennis Quaid) and Deke Slayton (Scott Paulin), all of whom vie for “The Right Stuff”. As Sputnik takes place, the U.S. government decide it’s time to enter the space race. NASA recruits Grissom, Cooper and Slayton to go through rigorous tryouts in order to qualify for the mission. Rounding out the rest of the now legendary Mercury Seven group are Alan Shepard (Scott Glenn), Wally Schirra (Lance Henriksen), Scott Carpenter (Charles Frank) and John Glenn (Ed Harris).

“The Right Stuff” has been attributed as director’s Philip Kaufman’s masterpiece. While that opinion isn’t far fetched, I found that it was a peg down from his future films “The Unbearable Lightness of Being” and “Quills”. That being said, “The Right Stuff” works very well on a visual scale. The segments involving Yeager and Glenn making the rounds in the air and in space are photographed and edited like works of art in a gallery or like an episode of “Cosmos”. In the pre-CGI era of filmmaking, this raw perspective on the Earth is nothing short of phenomenal and sadly will never be replicated on film again.

The problem with some big ensemble casts is that it’s hard to get a standout performance from any one or two great actors. The Academy only nominated one of the actors, Sam Shepard for Best Supporting Actor for his role as Chuck Yeager. As good a performance as it was, it paled in comparison to some of the other co-stars, such as Ed Harris, Scott Glenn, Dennis Quaid and Fred Ward, whose performances were more Oscar worthy. Even the smaller roles of the wives by Veronica Cartwright and Pamela Reed had more substance and emotion. In particular, Glenn and Quaid provided some comedic relief that made the plot very light to counteract the intensity of the Cold War backdrop. Harris and Ward on the other hand were the more serious characters as they both had wives that were sensitive and scared of the worst possible scenario. This provided another balance to the plot that was much needed.

“The Right Stuff” was nominated for 8 Oscars and it won 4, Best Sound, Best Visual Effects, Best Editing and the one that I think it deserved the most, Best Film Score for Bill Conti because the music provided a backbone to the history making significance behind the Mercury space program. The other four nominations were for Best Picture, the aforementioned Best Supporting Actor, Best Cinematography and Best Art Direction. Regarding the latter two nominations, both lost to Ingmar Bergman’s “Fanny And Alexander”, which it deserved. Had it been another year, I believe “The Right Stuff” would have won those awards as well. As the space program enters a new chapter with this recent voyage, “The Right Stuff” remains just as a relevant a film about the symbolism behind the American astronaut and just how revered they really are.

8/10

[mychemicalficrecs]

Hi so I've read 2 my chem sports AUs recently (All We Need Is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway and Getting the Gold by frankiesin) and I loved them surprisingly a lot because My Chemical Romance and various sports are not something you'd expect go together. I'm wondering if you know of any other sports AUs?

Hi Nonny!

There's a few Sports AUs I know and if you don't mind High School Sports AUs, there's quite a few of those as well!

Sports AUs

All We Need is Daylight by Helena_Hathaway, Frank/Gerard, 240k [WIP], Explicit. Frank is thrust all too suddenly into a new life, one where he's not warmly welcomed. He's the best goddamn hockey player he knows, though, and he's not going to let anyone take that away from him. Or at least, not until his world comes tumbling down.

Getting the Gold by frankiesin, Mikey/Pete, 9k, General Audiences. It's Mikey's first time as an Olympic coach, and he's navigating the new role pretty well until he meets the men's swim coach. Pete's gorgeous, funny, and entertaining as hell, but Mikey's pretty sure he's already got a boyfriend. Also featuring Mikey and Lindsey being Super Bros, and way too many baby athletes in need of supervision.

you wanna get it for free by akamine_chan, Ray/Mikey, 2k, Explicit. Ray's a wrestler, you see...

Pages In Your Passport by inlovewithnight, Mikey/Pete, 15k, Explicit. Pete pursued soccer instead of music. He has a good long run in the game. Then in 2010, he meets this guy in a band.

The Circuit by stoplightglow, Frank/Gerard, 24k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the world of competitive motorcycle racing, nothing is more prestigious than the Grand Circuit Tour. Americans everywhere gather to watch as the twelve best racers in the nation compete for the title of Circuit Champion and $100,000. Gerard Way is no stranger to the race. When he was a teenager, his name was practically legend - but after disappearing without explanation six years ago, he's become little more than a relic of the past. Now, at age twenty-six, Gerard is back on the Circuit with something to prove. It's Frank Iero's first year on the tour, but he's more than ready. No one has seen a kid blast through the ranks so fast since Gerard Way first appeared on the scene a decade ago. With a cocky attitude and the whole country swooning over him, nothing can slow him down. The stakes have never been so high. Welcome to the Fourteenth Annual Grand Circuit Tour.

Down And Dirty by dear_monday, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Explicit. Gerard's own beloved cherry-red Harley has pedigree in fucking spades, sure, but she's seen better days, and she just doesn't have the power to outrun Iero and that revolting custom paint job. The matching helmet painted to look like a jack-o-lantern is just too much. An AU wherein the boys are dirty bikers, inspired by the recently-released photos from the Japanese Rolling Stone shoot.

shut up and drive by Trojie, uglowian, Patrick/Mikey/Pete, 139k, Teen And Up Audiences. Pete Wentz is the grid girl, Andy Hurley loves him (not like that), and Jared Leto is the bad guy. A.K.A.: the bandom The Fast and the Furious AU that literally no one asked for.

Another Cog In The Murder Machine by ace_writez, Ray/Mikey, 3k [WIP], General Audiences. Mikey's life is set. He's going to get a basketball scholarship for university and then play in the big leagues. All he has to do is get team captain his last year of high school. But he runs into some competition when another good player also tries out. Suddenly he's not so sure he's going to make it. Ray is also trying for a scholarship. As the star quarterback of Belleville High for three years, he's gunning for a fourth. When a situation at home suddenly drags him down, and a certain boy at school catches his eye, he finds himself at a crossroads. Two boys. Two sports. One school, and one story.

Day Seven: Half Dressed - Frerard by LeatherlipsIero, Frank/Gerard, 3k, Mature. Frank reached out his hand for the stranger to shake, "I'm Frank, let me buy you a drink as an apology?" He smiled again when the stranger grabbed his strong and callused hand with his own soft one. "Thank you, but it's my fault, honestly." The strange and pretty man tried to explain but Frank didn't care. "I insist." He said and sent the beautiful stranger a half smirk with half-lidded bedroom eyes, which had the poor boy blushing in seconds. Score.

Olympians by krissykane, Frank/Gerard, 3k, General Audiences. Frank is a shooter who has (somehow) made it to his second Olympic games. There he joins the crowd at a fencing event and sees a certain Team USA fencer for the first time.

Take One For The Team (Excuse Me If I'm Rude) by frenchpirate (Whiskey_n_speed), Mikey/Pete, 25k, Explicit. “So, your coach,” Gabe started, change of subject, thank god. “Yeah, what about him?” Mikey asked and glanced over at Pete who was heading towards the coach locker rooms, dragging a net of footballs after him. “You never told me he was hot. I’m pretty sure that’s withholding indispensable information. I should’ve signed up for the soccer team.” He said halfway jokingly, and William scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What, he’s not-“ “He so is. He’s like totally – small and handy,” He made a smooth explanatory hand-motion. “I want to fit him in my pocket.” * (Or; twenty eight scenes about skipping school, douchebag friends, post-college parties and way too much soccer)

Boxer!Fic by iamdali, Frank/Gerard, 47k, Explicit, General Audiences. After med school, Gerard had this idea of what life would be like. The idea now probably seems more than ridiculous, but still it’s what he clung to in order to drag himself through those gruelling morning hours after an all nighter of studying or writing some preposterously long paper on some disease or medical break through or why whatever part of the human body does whatever it does, and what happens when it doesn’t.

It's Not A Side Effect Of The Triple Axel (I'm Thinking It Must Be Love) by mizubyte (b_dsaint), Mikey/Pete, 10k, Teen And Up Audiences. If not for Alicia, Mikey never would have stepped on to the ice, let alone become a figure skater. Now, over 15 years later, Vancouver is Mikey's last chance for Olympic Gold. If he doesn't get distracted by snowboarder Pete Wentz, that is.

If The Skates Don't Fit by halfeatenmoon, Lindsey/Gerard, 12k, Teen And Up Audiences. Lyn-Z thought her rollerderby team might have a chance of winning some games this year, until she discovered that the new girl she'd recruited to the team was actually a man named Gerard. With a week to go until the first match against their long-time rivals, the Cobras, Lyn-Z and her teammates instead steal one of the Cobras' players - Maja, who has been feeling underappreciated since her side was joined by a new star. Maja's a great player, but it's a challange to learn to skate with a new teammate with only a week to go, especially when she still has some unresolved issues with her old captain.

Split lips hurt by toxic_fox, Frank/Gerard, 769 words, Teen And Up Audiences. Every Thursday, at six o’ clock sharp, frank goes boxing. He loves the adrenaline, the rush he gets from fighting, the blood, the pain. He kind of likes the kind medic as well.

Uppercut by mcrhomo, Frank/Gerard, 3k [WIP], Teen And Up Audiences. Frank is dealing with a lot in his life, including body dysmorphia. When he signs up for a boxing class to lose weight, he meets Gerard, and his whole life is turned several different ways (for better and for worse).

I Believe You're The Enemy (Game On) by imanemostan, Frank/Gerard, 2k, Mature. Constant affairs kept secret by frank and gerard, on different laser tag teams playing against each other. weirdly enough, both their schools have an official laser tag team. How will they ever be able to keep this a secret?

I Just Want You by Bridgetti, Frank/Gerard, 2k, General Audiences. Frank teaches Gerard to skate.

It's All In the Game by happilysurviving (orphan_account), Frank/Gerard, 46k [WIP], Mature. Even jocks have issues. Especially the closeted ones who have friends they have to kick off their football teams. And it gets even worse when they have to kick them off because of a homophobic coach. But of course that's only the beginning as this is Dan Howell and he always has to have larger problems on top of the ones everyone else would believe to be impossible to handle. Having Frank as his best friend certainly doesn't help or the head gossip guru in town as his mother but it could be worse, right? I mean he could be in love with an opposing team's quarterback... Oh wait.

Frerard Football Team AU For Which I Could Not Think of a Title by franks_hands, Frank/Gerard, 5k, Teen And Up Audiences. In the locker room and at practices, Frank was noisy, bordering on obnoxious. He seemed to bounce off the walls sometimes. He didn’t know about personal space.

of cute boys and rollerskates by etselec, Mikey/Pete, 1k, General Audiences. “I’m teaching you how to skate,” Mikey nearly fell as he removed Pete’s arms away from him. He squeezed his hand instead, “so our next date it won’t be as awkward.” “Date?” Pete asked. “Well, we’re holding hands already, aren’t we?” Mikey smiled at him.

Hand in Mine, Into Your Icy Blues by sundrowned, Frank/Gerard, 28k, General Audiences. Gerard is the captain of the hockey team and his overbearing father is the coach. When a new boy named Frank joins the team, Gerard has to decide weather to follow his father's orders to stay away from the boy or choose his own path.

Skating In A Ttutu by runaway_killjoy, Frank/Gerard, 51k, Teens And Up Audiences, Explicit. Frank has to move towns with his mom. He's disheartened to realize that teenagers are judgemental and manipulative no matter where you go. And no one gets judged quite as bad as the ballerina/skater boy who isn't even 5ft. Skater boy AU prompt, Frerard

Powderpuff by Gorgeous Nerd (gorgeousnerd), Frank/Gerard, 2k, Explicit. It isn't like Frank's opposed to powderpuff football. The timing's just kind of bad.

Get Up And Go by inlovewithnight, 6k, Teen And Up Audiences. Mikey Way: Ultramarathon Runner.

[nigelspookerjee]

I saw @letmeclaireify made this Nancy Drew game tag thing that looked fun and I’m desperately trying to procrastinate so here are my opinions!

Nancy Drew 20 questions

List your top three favorites...

#1 Games?

1. Treasure in a Royal Tower (TRT)

2. The Silent Spy (SPY)

3. Legend of the Crystal Skull (CRY)

#2 Soundtracks?

1. Message in a Haunted Mansion (MHM)

2. Danger in Deception Island (DDI)

3. Sea of Darkness (SEA)

#3 Suspects?

1. Ryan Kilpatrick (DED)

2. Simone Mueller (FIN)

3. Harlon Bishop (CAR)

#4 Culprits?

1. Shorty Thurmond (SHA)

2. Dwayne Powers (STFD and RAN)

3. Brenda Carlton (ASH)

#5 Phone Friends?

1. Hilda Swenson (DDI)

2. Deirdre Shannon (DED)

3. Savannah Woodham (SAW and GTH)

#6 Favorite Character Dynamics?

1. Frank and Joe Hardy 4ever

2. Nancy and Dave Gregory (SSH)

3. Harper and Jessalyn Thornton (GTH)

#7 Cover Artworks?

1. Curse of Blackmoor Manor (CUR)

2. Labyrinth of Lies (LIE)

3. Last Train to Bluemoon Canyon (TRN).

#8 Indoor Locations?

1. Royal Palladium Theatre (FIN)

2. Blackmoor Manor (CUR)

3. Warnings at Waverly Academy (WAC)

#9 Outdoor Locations?

1. The Ryokan Gardens (SAW)

2. The grounds of Castle Malloy (HAU)

3. The Ghost Town in Secret of Shadow Ranch (SHA)

#10 Hidden Locations?

1. Wickford Gardens (TRT)

2. Trapper Dan’s Needle (ICE)

3. The secret beach in DDI

#11 Overall Game Atmosphere?

1. Danger on Deception Island

2. Ghost of Thornton Hall

3. Message in a Haunted Mansion

#12 Historical Backgrounds?

1. Marie Antoinette (TRT)

2. Dirk Valentine and Frances Humber (SHA)

3. Everything about Secret of the Scarlet Hand

#13 Cutscenes?

1. Bess at the Jolly Roger meeting (CRY)

2. All the spooky scenes that occurred in Curse of Blackmoor Manor

3. The dogs at the beginning of Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake

#14 Treasures?

1. Gold hearts (SHA)

2. The letter written to Jake Hurley from Abraham Lincoln (TRN)

3. Diamond of misery (TRT)

#15 Mini Games/Puzzles?

1. Bento (SAW)

2. SCOPA! (VEN)

3. Any cooking games (TRN, SPY, CRY, DAN)

#16 Rooms Nancy has stayed in?

1. Brigitte’s Room (CUR)

2. The room Nancy stayed in in MHM

3. The room she stayed in in CAP

#17 Jobs Nancy has held?

1. Being undercover as a student (WAC)

2. Deputy Curator (SSH)

3. Maid/Cook (ICE)

#18 Foods Nancy has Eaten?

1. Koko Kringles, obviously

2. The Captain’s Cove Fundae (CAR)

3. Clam Chowder (DDI)

#19 Animals Nancy has Encountered?

1. Isis the wolf (ICE)

2. Lou Lou the parrot (CUR)

3. The Orca (DDI)

#20 Memories of your experiences playing the game?

- screaming at the top of my lungs the first time I heard “I see you” while walking up the stairs in MHM

- Running like my life depended on it when I heard the dogs howling and sped back into the house like I was about to be their dinner (DOG)

- Having a mini heart attack the first time Ethel popped up (CUR)

- Seeing Emily Griffen creepily looking down at me from the tunnels with a huge dog bone in her hand, knowing very well she planned on bludgeoning me to death

- The mirror cracking in SAW and seeing the girl from the ring coming closer and closer.

Keep it going! :)

[3mmafr0st]

The Character’s I’ll Write For

Okay, this is gonna be a long one.

Marvel Peter Parker/Spider-Man Steve Rodgers/Captain America Natasha Romanoff/Black Widow Tony Stark/Iron Man Bruce Banner Clint Barton Thor Odinson Wanda Maximoff Loki Laufeyson T’Challa Peter Quill Pietro Maximoff Gamora Scott Lang Nebula Carol Danvers Bucky Barnes Stephen Strange Vision Sam Wilson Killmonger Michelle Jones Valkyrie Shuri

Harry Potter Hermione Granger Harry Potter Severus Snape Ron Weasley Draco Malfoy Sirius Black Luna Lovegood  Ginny Weasley Nymphadora Tonks Remus Lupin Newt Scamander James Potter Lily Evans/Potter Oliver Wood Fleur Delacour Cedric Diggory Fred Weasley George Weasley Bill Weasley Charlie Weasley

The Vampire Diaries Damon Salvatore Stephan Salvatore Elena Gilbert Klaus Mikaelson Caroline Forbes Katherine Pierce Bonnie Bennett Enzo St. John Jeremy Gilbert Alaric Saltzman Elijah Mikaelson Tyler Lockwood Rebekah Mikaelson Matt Donovan Kol Mikaelson

The Umbrella Acadamy Luther Hargreeves  Diego Hargreeves Allison Hargreeves Klaus Hargreeves Five Ben Hargreeves Vanya Hargreeves

Supernatural Sam Winchester Dean Winchester Castiel  Crowley Lucifer/Nick Jack Kline Bobby Singer Chuck Shurley/God Claire Novak Garth Balthazar Gabriel

Riverdale Archie Andrews Betty Cooper  Veronica Lodge Jughead Jones Cheryl Blossom Josie McCoy Kevin Keller Reggie Mantle Toni Topaz Sweet Pea

The Chilling Adventures Of Sabrina Sabrina Spellman Harvey Kinkle Ambrose Spellman Roz Walker Prudence Night Theo Putnam Nicholas Scratch

Gotham James Gordon Bruce Wayne Alfred Pennyworth Oswald Cobblepot Barbara Kean Selina Kyle Edward Nygma Fish Mooney Leslie Thompkins Butch Gilzean Lucius Fox Tabitha Galavan Jervis Tetch Ivy Pepper Victor Zsasz Jonathan Crane Jerome Valeska Jeremiah Valeska Bridget Pike Victor Fries

PJO/HOO Percy Jackson Annabeth Chase Luke Castellan Thalia Grace Nico Di Angelo Rachel Elizabeth Dare Leo Valdez Piper McLean Jason Grace Hazel Levesque Frank Zhang Reyna Avila Ramirez-Arellano Calypso

Real Life People Gerard Way Mikey Way Frank Iero Ray Toro Patrick Stump Pete Wentz Joe Trohman Andy Hurley Brendon Urie Ryan Ross Dallon Weekes Tyler Joseph Josh Dun Remmington Leith Emerson Barrett Sebastian Danzig Tom Holland Chris Evans  Sebastian Stan Tom Hiddleston

Tell me if I should add any more!

[comeherebob]

Nancy Drew 20 Q’s

Nancy Drew 20 Qs

Based on @letmeclaireify post!!

NOTE: Okay, we all know and love Nancy, George, Bess, Ned, Frank, and Joe but I did not include them on here just to get Top 3′s that get sidelined in favor of the gang all the time! So that is why you don’t see them in here <3

List your top three favorite…

1. Games?

Secret of Shadow Ranch

Treasure in the Royal Tower

Message in a Haunted Mansion

2. Soundtracks?

Secret of Shadow Ranch

Message in a Haunted Mansion

Treasure in the Royal Tower/Final Scene 

3. Suspects?

Professor Hotchkiss

Tex Britten

Deirdre Shannon

4. Culprits? (Spoilers)

Dwayne MF Powers (So good... yet so bad) (STFD)

Clara Thornton (Damn if that wasn’t the sad) (GTH)

Joseph Hughes (The one culprit I was hoping it wasn’t) (FIN)

5. Phone friends?

Savannah Woodham

Professor Hotchkiss

Hilda Swenson/Vivian Whitmore 

6. Character dynamics?

Warnings at Waverly Academy (catty girls always equal great dynamics)

Secret of the Scarlet Hand (It almost felt like they were real and worked together, it was nuts how much they all hated each other’s guts but respected on another haha)

Ghost of Thorton Hall (messed up family always equals crazy character dynamics)

Also.... Alibi in Ashes (OMG is so nasty to each other hahaha)

7. Cover artworks?

Curse of Blackmoor Manor (It just fits the vibe of the game so well)

Labyrinth of Lies (Love the whole concept)

Ghost Dogs (They look scary AF but they turn out to be so lovable)

8. Indoor locations?

Abby’s Room (MHM)

The Library in Wickford Castle (TRT)

The Royal Palladium Theatre (FIN)

9. Outdoor locations?

Ezra Wickford’s Garden (TRT)

Hilda’s Secret Beach (DDI)

Shadow Ranch Backyard (SHA)

10. Hidden locations?

Mickey Malone’s Speakeasy (DOG)

Ezra’s Study/Marie Antonette’s Tower (TRT)

The Magician’s Room (DDI)

11. Overall game atmospheres?

SHA

MHM

DDI/FIN ( I COULDN”T DECIDE I’M SORRY!!!)

12. Historical backstories?

Dirk Valentine & Frances Humber& Meryl Humber (the journal freaking tore my heart in two) (SHA)

Jake Hurley and Camille (TRN)

Marie Antionette (TRT)

13. Cutscenes?

Camille’s dancing lights (TRN)

The séance (MHM)

Lamont watching the utter collapse of his curio shop!! (CRY)

14. Treasures?

Dirk Valentine’s Treasure Room (SHA)

Marie Antoinette’s Diamond (TRT)

The coins under the phoenix floorboard (MHM)

15. Mini games and/ Puzzles

RAID (I could play this game forever lol) (CAP)

Barrel riding on Bob (SHA)

Nanograms (SAW)

16. Rooms Nancy has stayed in? 

Chinese Room (MHM)

Katie’s Boat (DDI)

The Captain’s Cove Hotel (CUR)

17. Jobs Nancy has held?

An extra for a daytime soap opera.. I mean how freaking cool (STFD)

Museum intern/running the damn place (SSH)

Fashion design intern in Paris (DAN)

18. Foods Nancy has eaten?

Gumbo *with butt burnin sauce* (CRY)

Clam Chowder (DDI)

Pinky and Perky with Uncle Fred and Johnny Rutter (CUR)

19. Animals Nancy has encountered?

Isis in ICE, because you got to interact with her *also her backstory is heartbreaking*

The orca (DDI)

Bob in SHA (obviously I loved him so much he inspired my name on Tumblr) 

20. Memories of your experiences playing the games?

My GranG buying me the new Nancy Drew game for Christmas every year and then us playing it together all night <3

Getting all of my friends hooked on Nancy Drew and we would play all summer  long!

Playing the newest game for the first time and just taking in the whole experience!!! 

[concussions-and-clues]

Based on @letmeclaireify​ post, here is my list for the my top three favourites for the following Nancy Drew based queries. I am curious as to what other people’s favourites are...

Nancy Drew 20 Qs

List your top three favourite…

1. Games?

Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon

Secret of the Scarlet Hand

Alibi in Ashes

2. Soundtracks?

Secrets Can Kill

Sea of Darkness

Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake

3. Suspects?

Harlan Bishop

Ryan Kilpatrick

Patrick Dowsett

4. Culprits? (Spoilers)

Ewan MacLeod

Lori Girard

Mitch Dillon

5. Phone friends?

Frank and Joe Hardy

Ned Nickerson

Bess Marvin and George Fayne

6. Character dynamics?

Frank and Joe Hardy

Ned and Bess in GTH

Nancy and Nicholas Falcone

7. Cover artworks?

Ghost of Thornton Hall

The Silent Spy

Treasure in the Royal Tower

8. Indoor locations?

Jake Hurley’s Train (Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon)

Paseo del Mar High School (Secrets Can Kill: Remastered)

Mickey Malone’s Speakeasy (Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake)

9. Outdoor locations?

Moon Lake Cemetery (Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake)

Thornton Family Cemetery (Ghost of Thornton Hall)

Bruno Bolet’s Cemetery (Legend of the Crystal Skull)

10. Hidden locations?

Camille Hurley’s Carriage (Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon)

The Walled Off Bath (Shadow at the Water's Edge)

The Throne Room of Hades and Persephone (Labyrinth of Lies)

11. Overall game atmospheres?

The Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon

The Silent Spy

Secret of the Old Clock

12. Historical backstories?

Jake and Camille Hurley (Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon)

Harry Houdini VS JJ Thompson (The Final Scene)

Kate Drew’s Story (The Silent Spy)

13. Cutscenes?

The opening cutscene around the big table when Lori disappears (Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon)

The cutscene when Kate and Nancy play the piano (The Silent Spy)

The cutscene where Kate and Carson argue and then Kate leaves for the last time (The Silent Spy)

14. Treasures?

The final letter (The Silent Spy)

Dirk Valentine’s Golden Hearts (The Secrets of Shadow Ranch)

Mickey Malone’s Gold (The Ghosts Dogs of Moon Lake)

15. Mini games and/ Puzzles

Figuring out how to work Jake Hurley’s machine (Last Train to Blue Moon Canyon)

Nonograms (Shadow at the Water’s Edge)

The Face Masks (Resorting to Danger)

16. Rooms Nancy has stayed in?

Room at Icicle Creek Lodge (The White Wolf of Icicle Creek)

The Chinese Room (Message in a Haunted Mansion)

Staff Sleeping Quarters (The Deadly Device)

17. Jobs Nancy has held?

Handiwoman (Message in a Haunted Mansion)

Assistant Curator (Secret of the Scarlet Hand)

Assistant to an Entomologist (The Creature of Kapu Cave)

18. Foods Nancy has eaten?

Koko Kringles (A lot of games)

Captain's Cove Fundae (The Haunted Carousel)

Clam Chowder (Danger on Deception Island)

19. Animals Nancy has encountered?

Emily Griffin’s Dogs (Ghost Dogs of Moon Lake)

Togo (Alibi in Ashes)

Nessie (The Silent Spy)

20. Memories of your experiences playing the games?

My sister and I being scared half to death by Henrik taking a nosedive off a pyramid (The Secret of the Scarlet Hand)

Crying my eyes out for nearly the entirety of The Silent Spy (The Silent Spy)

Pissing off a parent helper at school by playing an unchristian game and using that knowledge to needle her for the rest of the year (Message in a Haunted Mansion)

[nancydrewrings]

Every Nancy Drew game puzzle-leaver ranked from worst to best.

I was thinking about the ranking of ND suspects by @aniceworld (if you haven’t seen it then go check it out because it’s the best) and felt inspired to do something similar.

Methodology: I included characters who left us puzzles to solve. I judged STFD, CRE, VEN, TOT, and ASH as not having characters who met those criteria. CAR was the only game with two. I lumped all the Penvellyns together because ain’t nobody got time for that. If I forgot anyone, let me know. All rankings are personal taste.

28. J.J. Thompson (FIN) Does he count? Between fucking over Louisa Falcone and betting against Harry Houdini pulling off a trick, ol’ J.J. just can’t overcome his P.T.-Barnum-knockoff origin story.

27. ??? (CAP) To be honest, I spent this whole game trying to figure out how I could break up with Ned and ask Frank out, so I don’t remember who put the puzzles here. They were stupid, though.

26. Ezra Wickford (TRT) You can’t just adopt a kid and then disown him if he has behavioral problems. And I frankly don’t believe your claim that you invented chocolate milk. Enjoy your hidden sadness shrines, you sack of shit.

25. Lizzie Applegate (MHM) I guess I’m just not sure why she left the treasure in the floor instead of using it at any point. Sorry your outlaw husband ditched you, though. Dirk Valentine would never do a thing like that.

24. Trapper Dan (ICE) Apparently Lizzie Applegate is the one who told Dan to riddle the Lodge with puzzles: a pointless callback in an overwhelmingly frustrating game.

23. El Toro (RAN) The hourglass puzzle makes me cry, but he deliberately died in a ridiculous position so his corpse could trigger a booby trap, which I respect.

22. King Pacal (SSH) The scribe’s desiccated corpse has haunted my dreams for years, so while I appreciate Pacal’s level of loopholed pettiness, I hate him.

21. Ramses II (TMB) I’m not particularly impressed by anything Ramses set up to guard Nefertari’s tomb, but at least his actions were justified in-character, and I minored in classical civilizations so he gets an automatic bonus for Ancient Egypt.

20. Rita Hallowell (WAC) Her motivations are unclear at best, but she gains rank for clearly being an emo lesbian cat lady.

19. Kasumi Shimizu (SAW) Maybe just tell your daughters that they can leave the family business instead of making them solve a nonogram to find out. No wonder your family fell apart.

18. Kate Drew (SPY) Many parts of this game are beautifully, emotionally moving, but up until the new engine fuckery, Nancy’s mom being a spy was the dumbest idea HER has had since RAN.

17. Rolfe Kessler (CAR) I’m sorry that neither your wife nor your era could handle your mental illness.

16. The Forgery Ring (LIE) I love the culprit in this game, but everyone’s first clue that they weren’t a real theater troupe should’ve been their requirement to solve complex puzzles to do a goddamn set change. Hire a prop manager to keep all those dumb pieces in order.

15. Charlotte Thornton (GTH) The audacity of entrusting a vital clue to finding her will to an approximately five-year-old child just proves that Charlotte was not fit to run the family business. It’s hard to like her when all she does is murder me while I am actively avenging her.

14. Jin Soo Seung (MED) I don’t know how or why Sonny’s grandpa hid these artifact pieces all over this specific area of New Zealand. Unfortunately, I am one of those people who loves Sonny Joon enough to put up with a fair amount of bullshit.

13. Captain Lawrence (SEA) Like the Penvellyns, it is amazing that his treasure-hiding gambit was even marginally successful. However, that skeleton hands post helps him skate all the way to spot #13 on my list.

12. Brendan Malloy (HAU) His double-agent scientist backstory is the only redeeming thing about this absurd game.

11. Noisette Tornade (DAN) Great name, cool job, noble deeds, but did you need to lock me in the basement after I went to all the trouble of solving your encrypted clues?

10. Jake Rogers (SCK) Jake Rogers decided to be a blackmail kingpin at the age of 17. Minus points for being skeevy about Connie (her secret is that she can beat the shit out of you, dude, please have more foresight), props for sheer ballsiness. Is he the one who left all the weird rhyming clues everywhere in SCK1? Because if so he would shoot up at least five spots.

9. Penvellyn Family (CUR) Props for dedicating their lives to continuing this convoluted, pointless gambit. It’s just impressive none of them fucked it up over the last few centuries. However: if the point was for your family members to solve an elaborate series of puzzles to find the treasure, why trap them in a box to suffocate at the end?

8. Darryl Trent (CAR) He clearly made a lot of poor decisions in his life, but leaving his daughter a baffling robot to remember him by makes up for most of them.

7. Jake Hurley (TRN) I need a private sadness train with a mystical gemstone contraption, like, yesterday.

6. Bruno Bolet (CRY) What a fucking weirdo. If it weren’t for the crystal skull thing he might rank higher, because all of his other obsessions are positively delightful.

5. Josiah Crowley (CLK) I have a bunch of nerdy internet friends who use nicknames for each other, so I appreciate his group of radio Mechanicals. Also disguising yourself in drag to mess with your friends and neighbors is hilarious. Truly a man ahead of his time.

4. Niko Jovic (DED) Turns out that he was kind of an asshole, but I’ve got to love him for the steampunk lair he built under a privately-owned facility.

3. Dirk Valentine (SHA) If I were Frances Humber, I would’ve left Shadow Ranch the day after I met Dirk and had like eleven outlaw babies with this king of romance.

2. Hilda Swenson (DDI) When I’m a bored widow, I hope I become so disillusioned with the rest of the world that I fuck off and force anyone who wants to talk to me to solve a bunch of puzzles I scattered around my old town.

1. Mickey Malone (DOG) All I aspire to be is a 1920s gangster who owns a private speakeasy under my cabin in the woods and hangs out with my four giant dogs whom I adore.