#capitalism whenever anybody brings it up

[coffinsister]

merry christmas if you celebrate! and if you wanna answer, do you have any ideas/hcs as to how the graves siblings would spend their holidays?

Merry Christmas to you too <3 ! (If you celebrate of course)

I actually don't think they would be big on Christmas maybe when they are little they would at best get a shitty little plastic tree in their apartment and that's kinda it, I think once they are older and living together on their own they would do a small gift exchange they wouldn't bother decorating or anything but they would prepare a special dinner interchange gifts and stay up late

Also Ashley would love to have gift sex lol

[bratz-kitten]

ASTRO OBSERVATIONS PT. 6

Okay this is not so much an observation but it’s something serious that i want to bring up that i feel like needs attention. A lot of yall be talking about virgo placements having OCD as if it’s something quirky that someone can turn on or off, like..... “Virgo placements can go ocd mode by this one particular thing that annoys them”. GIRL. OCD ISN’T A MOOD. OCD IS A MENTAL ILLNESS. You can’t switch it on or off. People with virgo placements CAN be prone to having OCD, as can anybody, but you wouldn’t say that someone can simply go on a depression or ADHD mood, because you understand that that’s not something that you can simply choose to have whenever wherever. Well, it’s like that for every mental illness.... Be more mindful of your wording. And by the way, we need to stop associating virgo placements with ocd in a funny ahaha moment. Like... what’s hilarious about that? I swear that some of you have a broken humor from staying on those instagram astro pages who only post shit like. “Virgo = OCD. Taurus = eats food and is lazy. Capricorn = capitalism’s whore. Gemini = crazy.”

People with pluto aspecting their ascendant can experience others constantly assuming how they feel through their facial expressions... “You look sad. Have you been crying?” “You look tired. Did you get any sleep tonight?” “You look angry, calm down.” The most frustrating thing about this is that they’re usually wrong – you’re just standing there thinking about something completely unrelated and there come people assuming things about you. Like, no. That’s just my face. LEAVE ME ALONE.

My mother has her north node in the 9th house. A big shift in her life was going to university since she came from poverty and was the first person in her family to pursue a higher education.

People with pluto in the 2nd house can earn money from difficult, even dangerous jobs; can be a job that requires immense physical endurance.

Mercury-pluto, mercury-neptune and mercury-uranus natives are the type of people who, when playing a video game, love going deep into the lore and can be keen on psychoanalysing the characters, researching theories and even assigning birth charts to their faves.

Wherever your moon is placed in your birth chart can indicate what you’d do anything to protect. Moon in the 8th house natives would do anything to protect their secrets and deepest thoughts. Moon in the 10th house natives would do anything to protect their career and ambitions. Moon in the 11th house natives would do anything to protect their friends and their dreams.

Probably the most annoying thing about people with planets in the 5th house is how irresponsible they can be. I don’t really like the word “undeveloped” because something about it that i have yet to uncover makes me side-eye, but for the sake of this observation, i’ll use it. At their worst, people with undeveloped 5th house energy never take anything seriously. It can be hard for them to keep their word and they can break their promises. It’s good to be confident but they can overdo it to the point where they’re promising to give someone something that they know damn well they can’t deliver. Like... learn something from your opposite house, the 11th house— be more mindful of others’ needs instead of just your own lmfao.

@ the people in this community who love to brag about their anger issues AND BLAME THEM ON THEIR BIRTH CHART as if it’s funny.... it isn’t. You’re embarrassing. Go to therapy instead of thinking that lashing out on others is a funny quirky thing to do on a tuesday afternoon and that it’s a product of your cancer mars or scorpio moon or whatever the fuck you choose to pin it on. I see this way too much in this community lmfao

Saturn and pluto in the 3rd house natives can have extremely dark and pessimistic thoughts. They can find it really difficult to trust others’ words, they need the actions to back it up or else they’re not believing a word you say.

Having Saturn and North Node in the same house is having the universe be like “Here’s some extremely debilitating difficulty, it’ll be your life journey to overcome it 💋 have fun!”

People with lilith-pluto aspects especially square/opposite/conjunction can be constantly scared that someone will try to expose them or interfere with their ambitions, or that something irrational will try to take what’s theirs, so they hold onto the things they care for with teeth and claws.

Mercury-mars natives can get very affected when someone triggers them, they can react almost immediately in an impulsive and defensive way. It can be very frustrating for them to know that things that barely hurt others bring them down so easily. It’s okay. Build yourself back up.

Aquarius venus natives need to make sure that they’re allowing warm and loving experiences into their life. They can get very caught up in running away from love and shutting themselves off from emotional connections (sometimes unconsciously). Just make sure you’re allowing yourself to be loved and appreciated ok.

Mercury-lilith and mercury-pluto aspects, especially square/opposite/conjunct can feel as though they have a knife in the place of a throat. Their words seem to kill when they’re mad.

You know when Adam Driver played Kylo Ren and revealed his face from under the mask for the first time, and guys from every direction were flabbergasted, calling him ugly for not fitting into the typical conventionally attractive, buff male, chad superhero? That he looked too feminine and weird... Yet girls were losing their shit over how they wanted Kylo Ren to choke them like they were General Hux LMFAOOO. Well, that’s Aquarius Risings for you. People who want to perpetuate conventional beauty stereotypes hate them, yet their unconventional edge is what makes others fall in love with them. It’s their fucking energy, it’s indescribable.

People with natal Saturn Retrograde tend to have traumatizing relationships with their fathers that have shifted the way that they interact with authority figures in their life.

People with natal Jupiter Retrogrades tend to have very weird and particular traditions that they swear give them luck. Like always wearing the same tie before applying for a job interview, or always keeping a page ripped out of their favorite book in their pocket to keep them safe, or always muttering a certain phrase to themselves when they want something to happen. And weirdly enough, it always works out in their favor.

Every man I’ve ever known who had a pisces mars used their ability to easily empathise with others’ feelings as a way to manipulate them into giving them what they want (which is, most often, sex). And then the pisces mars ghosts them. Obviously not everyone with a pisces mars is insane because duh, I exist but I’ve seen this happen with others way too much so I had to comment on it, so... everyone, please stay safe in the streets.

A majority of the gemini suns I know take a lot of pride on being environmentally conscious. They like getting involved in causes that help others, even just locally. They want to make their community feel safer.

Something my cancer venus friend told her toxic grandmother in the middle of an argument: “The only family I need is my friends.” *sobs* i would d word for her

One really weird thing that i’ve observed way too many libra placements do, especially libra mercuries, is when they’re angry and in the middle of an argument... they’ll suddenly turn very cold and detached. As if they turn off their feelings and start using logic only. It’s so unsettling because it feels like you don’t even know who the person you’re talking to is anymore. They’ll suddenly start speaking in full, grammatically perfect sentences and countering your arguments like they’re full-on lawyers. And the absolute worst is when they do all this with a sickeningly sweet smile on, as if they’re not angry at you. As if delivering insults in a diplomatic tone makes them any less awful. If you do this then I’ll have to enter your brain to study it, because truly wtf

I’ve been seeing some Pete Davison clips on youtube, and I decided to check his birth chart. He has his sun conjunct pluto. He uses humour to cope with his trauma so much. A comment on one of the videos that stuck with me was “He jokes about constantly feeling awkward and uncomfortable in a way that makes others feel at ease when around him. That’s talent.”

[optimistickidflowereclipse]

Alright, guys, I know that a lot of us here don’t consider Thor:Ragnarok as canon, but I’ve stumbled upon a post regarding it and would like to talk about the issue highlighted by it — mlm fetishization.

Namely, this interaction between Loki and Grandmaster giffed, as well as their relationship as whole,

“Time works real different around these parts. On any other world I would be millions of years old but here on Sakaar…(winks)”

And the overwhelming reaction to it in the comments

Imo this is what actual fetishization of gay men in the fandom looks like, not its popular “wahh, anybody other than a cis gay man has dared to ship two male characters together!” definition.

Here’s why:

When we look past the “GAY!!!0w0” part the majority of the commenters prefers to focus on, what is left is a heavily implied abusive relationship with incredible power imbalance, where one party holds basically unlimited power over the other whose very consent to stay in this arrangement is questionable at best.

Grandmaster is a tyrannical ruler of the planet Loki ended up stuck on due to circumstances outside of his control. The planet where according to what we were shown the options for most new arrivals are limited to joining GM’s court, becoming slave traders/guards or being enslaved and sent to the Arena to brutally die. Even if we assume that Loki came to GM’s palace out of his own will and wasn’t brought there as some scrapper’s capture like Thor, it still wasn’t an actual free choice given the alternative.

What is more, the movie itself clearly acknowledges this imbalance. GM is shown to be murder-happy and controlling towards everyone on Sakaar, including his closest circle.

Even the people he seems to be fond of are wary of him. He routinely disregards any boundaries anyone, including Loki, might have, while Loki looks clearly uncomfortable whenever they are in the same room and not at all like someone interested in their current or potential partner.

Take this scene, for example, where Loki unsuccessfully tries to leave Arena after seeing Hulk

“Whoa, whoa, where are you going, sit down.”

Notice the casual hand on his chest and Loki’s body language. GM doesn’t even stop to ask why Loki is so scared and running, he just pushes him back into the lounge area and Loki freezes and complies despite being absolutely terrified of the creature back there.

This is the behavior of a man who is well-aware that pissing GM off might very well equal a death sentence in his circumstances, as are most court members according to the following exchange:

Grandmaster : I'm upset! I'm very upset. You know what I like about being upset? Blame. Right now, that's the mindset that I'm in. And you know who I'm blaming?

Loki : Grandmaster, I...

Grandmaster : Hey! Don't interrupt me!

Topaz : [holds up a Melting Stick]  Here you go!

Grandmaster : Why are you handing me the Melt Stick? He was interrupting. That's not a capital violation. My precious champion has come up missing and its all because of that Lord of Thunder. It's all because of him, YOUR brother - whatever the story is, adopted, or complicated, I'm sure there's a big history - and YOUR contender!

Loki : My dear friend, if you were to give me twelve hours I could bring them both back to you.

Valkyrie : I can do it in two.

Loki : I could do it in one.

Grandmaster : You know what? I woke up this morning thinking about a public execution. But for now, I'll settle for this sweet little "who's gonna get him first?" So you're on the clock!

If Loki was a woman, all of them would immediately recognize this “relationship” for what it is — a pretty obvious centuries old “you are either mine or dead” situation — and call it out for being abusive. But when it’s two men, it’s only funny and sexy I guess.

And for the record — I’m not against abusive or problematic ships, I ship a lot of dark and messed up stuff myself. But you need to, you know, recognize that they are abusive and not brush it under the rug because “omg gay! So hot!” or acknowledge that you are shipping a very AU dynamic of the characters.

Because frankly, seeing posts like this leaves me as a bi guy wondering “how much toxic shit are these people willing to close their eyes to in irl mlm relationships according to the same logic of ooh, GaY?”

[totebagchiqbarista]

Heyy can i request a luka x fem!reader fic? Like you know how how luka is always calm and cool? What if he turns into a living mess after he meets reader? Like no stuttering or something but hes ranting about her to juleka all the time and cant concentrate when shes around??

what are you doing to me? // luka x fem!reader

request: anonymous

warnings: fluff, swearing?, Luka being a mess

pairing: Luka Couffaine x Fem!Reader

a/n: I really wanted to write some Luka stuff and this kind of stretched out to a good amount of words so I hope you like it! :)

"Dear God, Luka, stop talking!" Juleka shouted at her brother who entered her room uninvited for the 4th time today. She had understood he didn't have anybody really to talk to, but Lord was he getting annoying at this point.

"But I have to tell you something"

Pushing him out of her cabin one last time, Juleka stood at the door frame and stared at the blue boy. "Go out and find a life!" Of course, she didn't mean it like that, but before she could manage what she is doing, she slammed the door shut in front of him.

Luka was taken aback by the change in Juleka's attitude. He didn't flinch though. He was always that one collected and calm person in every group. Anger never fulfilled him in the ways it sometimes filled his mother, for example.

Anarka had never been the type to prohibit them of their freedom, but she tends to let her emotions take over her. When somebody mentions their dad, she turns red, wrathful at the memories that flow across her head. And it's never long until she completely lets rage form her.

But Luka was different. He was always the serene boy you would find in the back of the class writing songs, practicing riffs. When somebody took it out on him, Luka sucked it in, forgetting about the scene in a few days. He had never lost his temper, beat someone up, melted at someone's touch...

He didn't mind it, after all, there was nothing to whine about. He had all his emotions under control, and even though he would never admit it- it made him feel superior to others.

So Luka decided to go to the park. Whenever he had nothing to do, a simple solution always came to his mind- a warm walk through the park.

"Hi, Nino" he exclaimed seeing the familiar couple by the water fountain. "Hi, Alya."

Alya offered him a soft smile, taking a piece of Andre's ice cream. Nino lent him his famous handshake. "I'm excited for tonight!" said Alya, referring to the private hangout at Couffaine's that was yet to come.

Luka had completely forgotten about it. How could he do such a thing? Still, he kept his cool exterior, nodding his head in agreement. "Me too"

"Oh shoot! I forgot I was supposed to meet Y/n tonight" Alya looked back on her schedule.

"Who's that?" Luka questioned, having never heard of that name before

"An old friend of mine. She just recently moved here"

"She can come, too."

"Really?" Alya's face lit up in joy "You would do that?"

The blue-haired boy laughed "If there's one place in Paris everybody is welcomed, it for sure is the Couffaine's ship!"

"Great, we'll see you there soon!" Alya added before collecting her phone and her boyfriend, running to meet up with her long-term friend.

Luka was left alone by the fountain, staring faintly at the water drops in the pool. Hot summer day took a toll on him and his eyes closed slightly under the pressure of the beaming sunshine.

A wooden bench called out to him and so he sat underneath the cooling shade of the trees. Moments passed and Luka grew to be more impatient. Guests were to come tonight, maybe he should return and help Juleka set up for the evening hang out...

Just on a mark, a girl ran to the park, out of her breath. She seemed worn out as she breathed heavily from the excessive physical activity. She looked at the phone in her hands, it responding with a typical GPS lady voice.

"Shit" she mumbled as she frantically tried to get the directions from the small machine.

"Hey" Luka called out to her from his sitting position in the corner "Are you lost?"

The girl looked around, making sure the blue boy was talking to her. "Yeah, I guess I could say so." Just as she returned him the look, Luka was struck by her beauty. It seemed like such a cliché, really. And Luka hated clichés. Yet, he was mesmerized by the girl who stood before him.

"Right... Where do you need to go?" He asked, collecting himself by her feet.

"Uh," she let out an unknowing hum "Here"

The picture she showed was blurry but Luka figured the place. It was a place he liked to visit sometimes, too. He showed her the directions, making sure she knows all the tracks.

"Thank you so much" The girl beamed with happiness in her eyes "Thank you for helping me"

Luka nodded, and the girl turned around to leave in the direction he just showed her. Luka contemplated for a second before asking a question just as she was about to leave "Can I know your name, at least?"

Hope in his eyes, he stared at her for a full moment until she broke the silence. "We only just met. Besides, where's the fun in that?" Sending him one last wink goodbye, she disappeared into the streets of Paris.

Juleka wasn't a person one could easily talk to. Except for Luka. Luka knew his sister was quite an introvert and a rather shy soul. He respected it and grew to watch over her, protecting her privacy with others. But with him, she was sometimes an extremely cheerful and bubbly person. Hell, there were moments he wished she could stop talking!

So when the two of them collaborated in decorating the harbor for their friends, they finished rather quickly. In under 2 hours, the duo managed to make the best party ship anyone has ever seen.

"Alya is bringing a friend," Luka said as he and Juleka tried to put the last fairy lights around.

"Really? Who?"

"An old friend who just moved here. Y/n as I recall."

Juleka nodded, trying to remember the name "Oh yes, Y/n. Alya told us about her. I'm glad to finally meet her."

Soon enough, the guests started to gather and their home was erupting from chit chats and music. Luka talked to everybody, getting lost in the crowd. His mind always found its way back to the silhouette of the lost girl from the park. There was something he couldn't get enough of in her...

"Luka, could you play us something?" asked Marinette to what Luka only nodded, heading to his room for the guitar.

"Alya is here!" Rose exclaimed when she noticed her friend at the entrance. Next to her stood a girl, a girl Alya has told them almost everything about.

"Hi, guys! This is Y/n" everybody welcomed them, all eyes prying on the newbie.

Marinette came closer and hugged her "I'm Marinette" she addressed as she offered her a soft smile "I've heard so much about you!"

"I could say the same" Y/n returned the sweet gesture.

"What took you so long?" Nino asked looking at his watch and then back at them.

"My bad. I got kind of lost."

The moment Luka stepped on the ship, the last thing he expects to see was the girl he couldn't stop thinking about. The girl that has been playing in his head all day, since the moment they met. Well, not exactly met.

"You" he blurted without thinking as he set his guitar down.

The pair of orbs he remembered from this morning, looked up at him, as surprised as him. "You" she joked back, not breaking the eye contact.

"You two know each other?" Marinette asked looking back and forth between the two of them.

"Not really. He helped me find the way this morning" Y/n explained

"And she didn't even tell me her name"

"It's more fun this way, don't you think?"

Luka chuckled offering her a handshake. "I'm Luka"

"Y/n"

The night moved slowly and Luka found himself growing more and more nervous whenever Y/n was around. This can't be! He's always the calm one, the collected one, the untouchable one. No, no. It's just a mire admiration. Nothing much, really. He's as steady as ever...

"Spin the bottle!" Alya shouted out of nowhere

Numbers of confused faces turned to her in a moment. She proceeded, explaining her outburst. "Let's play spin the bottle"

The teens looked around, meeting with other's sights, nodding in agreement. Soon enough, the group was sat on the floor. Upon choosing a seat, Luka looked around. There were 2 left: beside Y/n and opposite of her. He wanted to sit beside her, really. Oh, just how he wanted to sit beside her, their knees touching... But he was so nervous. His palms sweat just for the thought and his heart raced with a speed unknown to man.

So he sat opposite of her.

"Right, so, we are playing spin the bottle combined with truth and dare. A person spins the bottle and they ask "truth or dare?" the one who the bottle has sat on." Alya explained.

Marinette went first, the bottle landing on Y/n. The bluenette smiled softly and asking the question. "Truth or dare?"

"Truth"

"Are you happy to be in Paris?"

"Very!" The two exchanged graceful smiles earning a groan from Nino.

"Where are the fun questions! C'mon dudettes!" he cried obviously disappointed in his friends.

Marinette looked at him in confusion "What do you want me to ask?"

"I don' know, something interesting. Like, describe your perfect type, or something"

Y/n laughed for a second. "Well I don't really have a type but guitarists hold a special place in my heart"

Luka looked at her in surprise but wasn't met with her gaze. That was it. He'll lose his mind because of this girl and there's no turning back. He'll be defeated, if only he wasn't already.

Y/n grew to be a great addition to the class and the friend group. And she grew closer to Luka's heart, more close than he liked to admit. When she was around, his mind was rollercoasters, when she was away her melody played in the back of his head. It was exhausting, really. Luka had never acted this way, especially not for a girl. It was all new to him.

It had been almost two months since Y/n's first day in the city of love. Never had she imagined that she would fall so in love with the people, the culture, the capital of France in general. She was standing on her balcony, looking at the most beautiful sightseeing- the Eiffel tower.

"Mom, Dad, I'm leaving, see you later!" she shouted as she closed the front door behind her. Juelka had invited her to help her out with band stuff. She was a bit surprised to say at least for Y/n wasn't much of an intellectual in that field.

The traffic was light and soon enough she stepped foot on the magnificent ship. The boy she already knew very well was strumming his guitar in the corner.

"Nice tune" she whispered, coming behind him

Luka jumped a little, taken aback by her unexpected figure. "Y/n? Why-"

"I invited her, I need some help," said Juleka from the door. "I'll be back in a second" and with that, she disappeared.

Y/n sat on a chair beside him, feeling the tension rise. Luka's melody became more insecure, more unsteady. It felt as if he was trying too hard.

"What happened?"

"I don't know" Luka answered, regretting holding the guitar now. It was true, when she was around, it was not much he could do. His mind always wandered elsewhere.

An uncomfortable silence took over them. Juleka was nowhere in sight. After some minutes of complete dull, Y/n stood up eager to leave. "Tell Juleka I'm sorry, but I just remembered I have to go."

Luka wanted to say something, but he couldn't. He was afraid of blurting out something way more stupid. So he nodded, regretting his decisions. What has she done to him? He can't even think straight, what to do, what not to do. He's a mess and it's all because of her.

"What are you doing you, idiot, go after her!" Juleka stormed out of the ship, scolding her older brother.

"What?"

"Go after her! Tell her how you feel! God!"

"What are you talking about?" Luka played it off dumb

Juleka's anger only grew "Oh please, mister untouchable, you're not so secretive about it. You can never concentrate when she's around, when I mention her, you grow all impatient. You talk about her ALL THE DAMN TIME. I can't listen to you anymore!"

Luka shifted in his spot "I don't talk about her that much"

"You literally stormed in my room last night talking about her humor and how cool she is. Go tell her how you feel, Luka"

He contemplated for a minute making Juleka impatient "Now! Go!"

The blue boy nodded, setting his guitar aside, and running as fast as he could. He ran the way he remembered Y/n to go. His legs could sprint only so fast but somehow he managed to run it all the way through.

Just by the bridge, she saw her walk by herself. It was already getting late, the sun was just around the corner, held by its fingertips to not yet say goodbye. She was looking to the river, calm and alone. "Y/n!" he shouted, putting all the energy he had to pull it through.

"Y/n!" he screamed once more to what the girl turned around. Just as she was about to ask what was happening, Luka panted taking her hand in his the moment he got the chance.

"No, no, I talk." He said taking a deep breath and looking right into her eyes. "Y/n from the moment we met in the park, I couldn't stop thinking about you. You took a tool on me, god, I'm wrapped around your finger! I can't focus when I see you, I lose all my senses when you smile"

Y/n smiled at the ongoing love declaration. "And no matter how hard I tried to cover up my feelings, to forget you, there just is no escape. I am lost, I'm losing my mind. God, what are you doing to me? I rant about you to Juleka, dear Lord. You made a mess out of me, Y/n, and I love, I love, I love you."

And before thinking, Y/n pressed her lips against his. She kissed him long and lovingly, making him melt under her touch.

"That makes the two of us"

[reidyoulikeabook]

'tis the damn season

ship: gn! reader x spencer reid

warnings: it's a bit sad, andthere's no dialogue, and probably bad prose, i wrote this on my phone in ten mins in the car oopsie and there's not a capital letter in sight

word count: .8k

a/n: i listened to 'tis the damn season once and this thought possessed me until i wrote it

it happens every year. Spencer comes into town on his two week mandantory leave cycle, to spend time with his mother and work on any papers he's got waiting to be finished or published. it's not to spend time with you. he's not even going to see you. that's what he tells himself and yet every time, every single time he's been there for the last six years he's ended up sleeping in your bed instead of his every night he's there.

it started off innocently enough. you'd been at school together, the same age but in completely different grades, and you'd run into each other at the sanitorium his mother stayed at. your neighbour had been admitted and you'd dropped by to check on her. one thing had led to another and coffee had turned into dinner had turned into coming back to watch a movie had turned into falling asleep on the sofa cuddled up together. you'd had the weekend off work and he'd stayed. you'd wanted him to stay.

it's always so easy. the first time he'd left there'd been numbers exchanged, promises of maybe trying to figure it out or work long distance but it had quickly fizzled out.

he'd reached out before he came back the next year. he hadn't heard from you since valentines day and sure that was four months ago now and maybe you wouldn't want to see him but you did. you drove around the streets of las vegas, showing him all the places that'd closed down since he last came to visit, while he sat in your passenger seat, more enamoured with his home town than he'd ever been. although really, maybe he was just more enamoured with you.

he never allowed himself to admit it, and neither did you. there was a quiet understanding by the third visit. the words neither of you could bring yourself to say filled the silences as you lay in bed together, his fingers fiddling with the drawstring on your pyjama pants and yours playing with his hair, cut different every time. for those two weeks a year, he was yours, and you were his. playing house, making dinner and watching movies, falling into a routine so mundane, so domestic, that anybody on the outside looking in would assume it was the life that you lived everyday. he wished it was. but it wasn't. the two weeks flew by faster than any single day of the year without you in it and the day he had to leave would pry apart the household you'd built together, just as he felt himself taking root.

the goodbyes were always stilted. the only awkward exchanges you ever had. he'd kiss you, softly but quickly, clamping his mouth closed and waving. as if he was afraid of the tsunami of feelings that he might let flood the desert if he allowed himself to speak. you always smiled, looking a bit in pain. you were trying to hold back tears, and he was either polite or awkward enough not to mention it.

he never asked you to wait for him. and you never asked him to stay. you moved through your lives, silently committed to keeping your annual fornight at the centre of it. you orbited around it, taking time off for the first two weeks of june every year.

it was the centre of his universe, if he was honest. the thing that kept him grounded, that brought him solace in times of stress, were thoughts of you. what ifs playing in his head of scenarios where he was bold enough, brave enough, selfish enough to leave it all behind. it crossed his mind more than once that he could ask you to leave vegas, move to DC, shack up with him at his apartment. but then what? leave you alone, in an unfamiliar city, with no family or friends while he was gone four nights a week?

either way, it was selfish. it was a happiness that he was not worthy of keeping, only allowing himself to covet it in the veiled privacy of nightfall. he fell asleep dreaming of your face, how it lit up when you saw him, how you opened your arms and heart and life to him whenever he deigned to receive it.

sometimes he thought he shouldn't go back. that he was setting himself up to get hurt, that one day he'd tell you he was coming and you'd have moved on, found someone who could give you what you deserved. that he was hurting you, tempting you with tidbits of affection that could never be enough to satiate you long term. he knew he was right. that he could never be enough. not for long term.

but it wasn't enough to stop him. june rolled around and he sent the text and a part of him hoped you might not reply, might cut him off for good.

but a bigger part of him felt joy it hadn't in almost a year when his phone pinged with your reply, 'so excited to see you!'

[ms-demeanor]

You know what’s funny is whenever I make a tech post I get people going “this is blatantly untrue” and I get people going “this is really good information and everyone needs to know it” and the dividing line is how much time you spend with people who are tech literate.

Yep, I would tell my computer savvy friends where they could get keycaps and fix their keyboards; I don’t even have to bother telling my computer savvy friends how to run a fifteen year old laptop because we’re all pretty good at it.

But GODDAMN I just read a response to my “cheap computer season” post that claimed that it was totally reasonable to run a macbook from 2010 and

Look.

That’s not a reasonable thing to tell a student who needs a functional computer to do research and write papers. (have fun trying to find installation discs from when the OS was still named after cats and have fun trying to get a browser to get along with that OS)

You know why most people bring me laptops with missing keys? Because the key got ripped off by their two-year-old and damaged the soldering in the keyboard and I have no idea it’s going to be “oh, yeah, that’s a ten dollar fix” or “sorry, that’s going to be an hour and a half to disassemble and reassemble and we’ll have to order you a new keyboard specific to that model out of new old stock” and the thing is the second one is much, much, much more common in my experience than the first.

Do I think you need to replace a laptop when the bezel is cracked? No. I also don’t carry my laptop powered on in the bag with a flashdrive sticking out of the USB port. Customers do weird things that I don’t understand and when a customer tells me they want me to fix the bezel they think it’s a twenty-dollar snap-on repair because they have no idea how this works and then they get mad at me when I explain “no, you’ve gotta have this specific piece of plastic, these haven’t been made in five years, and you might be better off buying a used model online than trying to track down a new bezel.”

So here’s the thing: Can Macs get viruses?

There are three answers here.

“No, of course not, Macs are made to be virus-proof”

“Macs need antivirus protection because, while it is less common than infections for PCs, there are types of malware that can infect macs and it’s worthwhile to guard against that”

“tEcHnIcAlLy a virus has to be self-replicating and IOS’s file management system [or some other bullshit] prevents that so TECHNICALLY Macs can’t get viruses and what you need is anti-malware software if you need anything because you’re fairly likely to have security through obscurity”

I’m aware of the third position and voicing the second position to people who believe the first position.

YES TECHNICALLY YOU CAN KEEP A COMPUTER RUNNING INDEFINITELY AND YES IT’S TOTALLY POSSIBLE YOUR LAPTOP WILL LAST TEN YEARS.

“Well if you treat it right and run it well it’ll be in great shape for a long time”

YES THAT IS CORRECT DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY PEOPLE WHO DON’T WORK ON THEIR OWN CARS DRIVE AROUND WITH THE OIL CHANGE LIGHT ON FOR MONTHS?!?

Tons of people in the world today use computers. They use computers every day, they use computers at home and at school and at work.

Tons of people drive every day. They use cars for fun and for commuting and for their jobs.

That doesn’t mean that all (or even most, or even half) of the people using these things is any good at keeping them running, or even has the barest idea of how to start tracking down a problem.

Someone in the notes of that post described a green line on their screen and thought that was a symptom of hard drive problems. I don’t have the hours in the day to catch this person up to speed on why a display issue on a laptop isn’t indicative of hard drive issues.

Do you know how much people think it’s going to cost to get data off of a broken drive? Not “won’t power up” not “won’t spin” but “I dropped this and part fell off and now it won’t power up or spin and also the platter is chipped”? I’m going to have to send that shit to a clean room and the customer is *staggered* that it might cost more than a hundred dollars to get their data. “Outrageous, what kind of blackmail operation are you trying to run here, just plug it in and get my pictures.”

A year or so ago I was at Jiffy Lube (ew). I’d been shooting the shit with the mechanic when a parent and child rolled in in a panic. And they should have been panicking! They’d thrown a fucking rod because they’d been driving with no oil in the car for god knows how long because neither of them had had the oil changed in the two years they’d owned the vehicle.

*I* can keep a 30-year-old car running. I can put a belt back on an engine in a dark parking lot with a wrench and a headlamp. I can drop a gas tank and replace my fuel filter and thumb my nose at the mechanics who tried to upsell me on “replacing your old, worn-out air filter” the day after I’d popped a new one into my truck.

These folks couldn’t keep a new car running with three alarms telling them what was wrong.

*I* can power up my 2005 macbook running Leopard and use garage band to record a song or do some design work on my copy of Adobe CS3; I can kludge its FF3.5 browser into playing nice with the internet and accept that it’s going to be a slow piece of shit.

The lady who called me confused by the fact that the password to her email was different than the login information for her grocery store rewards account will not be able to function if she gets a pop-up that says she’s using an outdated browser and will think it’s a virus if her bank won’t let her log in on that browser.

And you know what, I’m kind of sick of this attitude.

I would *fucking adore it* if computers were actually easy to repair; I’d love it if you could run new OSs on old hardware (especially on macs because I think apple are kind of shitheads about planned obsolescence).

But you know what, no, most people *CAN’T* reasonably expect to use a ten-year-old computer and have pleasant experience of it. It’s going to run slow. It’s going to shut down when they don’t want it to. The battery is going to swell slightly with the heat and your touchpad is going to go nuts. Your USB ports will stop working. Standard wear and tear that most people don’t know how to protect against and don’t know how to repair is going to make it harder to use AND software requirements will outstrip the hardware capabilities of the computer.

If your old computer sucks it’s not your fault. If you can’t happily use a 10-year-old laptop to do your homework that’s okay, it wasn’t designed for you to use it that way and YOU SHOULDN’T FEEL GUILTY ABOUT IT.

Because that’s kind of what a lot of these “well anybody should realistically be able to run a laptop from 2010″ responses comes down to: if you need new hardware you’re just not doing it right. If you have to replace your computer you didn’t make good choices when you bought it. If your battery dies it’s because you didn’t take care of it.

No. No. No. No.

This shit is A) designed to fail and B) actually really hard to keep running (hey how many blown capacitors do you think someone has to have on their motherboard before you say it’s not their fault for wanting to replace the laptop)

ALSO SOMEONE IN THE RESPONSES OF THAT POST LITERALLY SAID THAT IF YOUR BATTERY DIED AT THREE YEARS IT WAS BECAUSE YOU WEREN’T DOING THE DRAIN CHARGE CYCLE RIGHT AND FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. It’s discharge cycles and heat, motherfucker; they are going to fail at some point and people shouldn’t feel bad if their batteries stop working after a couple years.

UGH.

You shouldn’t have to be a mechanic. You shouldn’t have to be a computer technician. Yeah, your shit will last longer if you know how to take care of it but, fuck. Imagine you were still using internet speeds from 2010. Imagine all your devices still had USB 2.0. Imagine you couldn’t log onto your online bank because your hardware won’t run he software that your bank recognizes because the hardware manufacturer decided it won’t support the older hardware.

What I was trying to get across in that initial post was “computers fail, and they fail pretty frequently; your life will be better and you will save money if you plan on replacing them at a regular interval and have reasonable expectations in terms of cost and failure. So buy a cheap computer now because you’re probably going to need one at some point”

And now I’ve got to Do A Yell about how there’s no ethical consumption under capitalism and it’s unreasonable to expect tired, overworked, broke people to become experts in computer repair in order to do their homework or play the goose game.

FUCK THAT.

IT’S CHEAP COMPUTER SEASON MOTHERFUCKERS. LAPTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT THREE TO FIVE YEARS AND DESKTOP FAILURE RATES INCREASE AT FIVE TO SEVEN YEARS. RIGHT NOW THERE ARE DISCOUNTS ON NEW COMPUTERS AND IT’S CHEAP TO GET AN EXTENDED WARRANTY.

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER AND WORK ON COMPUTERS IF YOU WANNA AND PLAN TO REPLACE REGULARLY IF YOU DON’T WANT TO WORK ON COMPUTERS.

ALSO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING OIL YOU’RE PROBABLY DUE.

[esta-elavaris]

WARNING. spoilers for catch the wind.

i have been gone for a few days — i was wallowing on my self-pity while ‘celebrating’ my birthday, and oh my god! your new chapters are fire! my flat is high likely about to burn to the ground. i did not expect the whole thing! i so badly wanted theodora and james to jump together like the jack and rose thing, but oh no. i should’ve known it was coming but it still managed to blow me off the stand! like the reviews i read for the chapter, i agree with them.

i feel so bad for theodora. i don’t know what elizabeth thought she was doing, but babes, she better have a good explanation because what the actual fuck? CRYING.

excited to have my heart hurt so much, i’ll wake up to reality in a work fiction! call me the term of someone who likes pain in books. i am obsessed with angst. i will live and die for angst. i will carve out my heart and lend it to you just so you could write letters on it using a knife, stomp on it. do anything you want with it! i will pay you to stab me on the chest tbh.

you never fail to surprise your readers with the twist of your work and your ability to make us feel! i am so ready for your next update!

ps. i kinda get embarrassed when i put reviews like this and some really weird ones on ff.net because i feel like i seem like a noob on there with all the comments and missing spaces, punctuations, and capital letters which i do not deny. i feel like i express too much, but i also get this thought like, ‘it’s the internet. i’m already weird enough having this unhealthy obsession with james bloody norrington.’ so here i go having yet another long train of thoughts written off to be seen by the internet.

Man, birthdays are rough, I'm sorry you're going through that. I think it doesn't help that there's always such an expectation for them to be fantastic and amazing days that for those of us where they don't feel that way, it's even more of a let-down at times? Idk, maybe that's just me. Either way, I'm sorry! I hope you're doing okay and you're taking the time to do something nice for yourself.

Catch the Wind spoilers beneath the cut.

Ahahaha thank you for your thoughts on this latest chapter. I did get some (valid!) constructive criticism a wee while back that they thought I was being too nice to Elizabeth and glossing over her flaws, but this scene has always been in mind so I kind of knew I had to pre-emptively make up for what she was going to do otherwise there'd just be no chance of redeeming it. Plus I just really liked the contrast between Theo having "seen" it happen one way in the movies (where James kisses Elizabeth) and then seeing it happen this way (where he very much did not instigate it, or really participate in it at all) brings a lot of inner conflict between what she thinks she knows from the movies, vs what is actually real to her in this story.

Especially because there's been so much focus between them on the matter of "well in the movies you love Elizabeth" and "well in the movies, you don't exist at all, you need to stop treating them as fact". James has been amazing with trusting Theo so far. Now we get to see if she'll be able to return the favour. Ah, the angst potential.

All of that aside, I promise we'll hear Elizabeth's reasoning very soon although I did slightly hint at it in the chapter itself so I'm excited to see if anybody picks up on that, and I have a fair few scenes other planned between here and the end that I'm very excited about! I also share your love of angst, it just makes everything in a story feel that much more rewarding if it's hard-won, it's why I really couldn't go the route of them just getting away quickly and easily.

Thank you so much for your lovely words! Reading them made my day. And honestly I'm happy for you to share your thoughts with me whenever you want via Tumblr if you're not comfortable doing so in comment/review sections on the actual sites the fic is posted on, but I will say that I've never found your way of writing to be strange or flawed in any way, so please don't worry about that! Plus, I've now written 300k words of sheer James Norrington thirst so I'm really not in a position to judge any kind of obsession haha -- we're all mad here B)

[ladyideal]

The Faceless Shadow: I

Word Count: 2073

Warnings: spoilers of s1 finale, mention of rape, mention of murder, Billy Butcher, language, alcohol

Summary: Five years later, you enjoy life after years of hardwork bringing NYC under one rule.

A/n: yeah... let's just yeah.

Five Years Later

$1.50

You frowned at the prices of the last stack of newspaper in front of the glass window. Billy Butcher's face smirking up at you from the front cover aggravated you. Sure it'd been some time since the Mallory incident, but you'd lost men to Lamplighter when Frenchie left his post. Begrudgingly, you threw in the needed money and snatched the old, wrinkly paper out of its casing.

Using people was what he enjoyed doing, and what he would continue doing in his quest for vengeance. Losing an associate was pitiful, but to one of your made men? There wasn't going to be a second chance. Zero wasn't happy, and you certainly were ticked off at the past still. Tucking the newspaper clip into your jacket, you headed back to the club. 

Ten fronts. All ranging from clubs to restaurants. Mostly legitimate, in terms of paying taxes. New York City was divided into Staten Island, Queens, Manhattan, Bronx, and Brooklyn. Zero headed Queens, and your third took over Staten Island. Although your main headquarters was situated in Brooklyn, you enjoyed the sights and the skyscrapers of Manhattan.

Including Vought Tower.

Vought. The head of supes and all things capitalism. The main reason why you kept all business on the very down low, despite the very club that even some of The Seven visited regularly. Blackmail: A very old fashioned, but reliable form of silence. 

Rounding a few corners, you slowed to a halt in front of the vip line. The DJ was in by now, and the lines outside grew by the minute as the sun dipped below the horizon. Two bouncers in black stood outside, flanking both sides of the entrance and refusing bribes for those wanting to enter early. The Vortex was a popular club, and business was booming. Noticing you, the two bouncers stepped aside. And with a polite nod, you entered the club, much to the dismay and protests from behind.

Music pulsate as lights from the dance floor shined and glittered within the dark. The DJ was in, and every body cheered. Rounded tables littered around the edges with plenty of people of all ages, drinking, grinding on one another, and flirting with the multitude of waitresses and sex workers. Smoking was prohibited within, but all was allowed on the outdoor spaces filled with recliners, a pool, and a jacuzzi. 

Ignoring the cat calls thrown your way from those relaxing in the lounges, you headed deeper within the nightclub. Taking a few turns into a less populated section and nodding again at the bouncers standing guard at the bottom of the VIP stairs, you headed up. At the landing, all eyes nervously turned to you.

And rightly so. 

Most knew you were high up in the family. You've made it that way for a reason. The less people knew, the better. Very few people knew who you truly were. With a quick wave, a smile, and a polite hello, you ducked onto another flight of stairs towards your office. 

"Oi, dick face, what are you looking at them for?" Came from behind. Last you knew before you closed the door, was the sound of a brawl. Sighing, you plopped into your office chair and-

"Boss, I've got the year's expenses on your desk." Grace spoke from the speakerphone, effectively shattering your peace. 

"Thanks Grace," You mumbled, pushing the stack of documents to the side. All you wanted was to grab a drink, keep an eye on the offshore accounts, and call it a night. Definitely didn't want a headache with the financial advisor on how to keep your fronts legit. Taxes could go fuck themselves, if you had a say in it. "I'll take a look at them later. Just log it in for next year's tax season."

"Oh and one more thing."

"Yeah?" You reached down into your mini fridge for a beer.

"Well- it's." A nervous pause. "There's someone on the line asking for you." Another pause. 

"Who is it?" You asked, popping the cap off and leaning back into your chair.

"Butcher."

There was a long pause of silence as you tumbled the name on your lips. It had been years since you last saw him, much less even contacted. Ever since the Mallory incident, you immediately cut ties with the former SAS Special Force. Two of your men were burned by Lamplighter, and you haven't quite forgiven him.

"No. Tell him I'm busy. I don't want to speak with him. He can go find help elsewhere."

"He insisted."

Unfurling the newspaper from within your jacket, you laid it out on your desk, frowning down at the same man that wanted to speak with you. The small picture of Butcher himself scowled up at you on the front page, making headlines for brutally murdering Vought's VP. You sighed.

"I'm sorry, I tried. But he's a-" A nervous chuckle. "He's a weasel."

You waved the apology away. "Put him through. We'll talk about this later."

An audible gulp. "He's on line 2 whenever you're ready."

Green light above Line 2 flashed steadily on your landline. Rather reluctantly, you leaned forward and plucked the landline phone up, already regretting giving Butcher your office number. Leaning back once more, you dimmed the lights down and closed your eyes. "We agreed to never contact again."

"Hello love." A familiar voice spoke loudly against the backdrop of New York traffic. 

"No. Whatever the hell you have planned, I don't want part of it. Things are finally looking up, and I'm not going to fuck up this chance. Vought's stocks are booming. I'm making money, don't have to worry constantly on anyone placing a hit on me. Zero is having the time of their life. I'm out of that mercenary life, found a different calling. "

An annoyed sigh. "How is Zero?"

"Married with their husband. Life is good," You shrugged. "If you've got nothing else to say, then I'm heading off to finish this fucking beer. Goodbye Butcher."

"Give me one fucking minute, love. I'll explain everything."

Got nothing to lose. "Forty five seconds and counting."

"Becca. I found Becca. Me wife has a son, Homelander's son. The cunt fucking raped my wife, fucking hid her away for so long. I was there. I saw her. Green lawn. White picket. I can find her with your help. You, mate, as a person of your skills." A pause. "Sitting behind a desk. Wasted."

"Look what Lamplighter did. Burned two of my men. Burned Mallory's grandchildren. Nothing to bring back home, not even their teeths," You hissed, slamming the beer onto the office table. Bubbles sloshed down the bottle, pooled, and dripped down onto the carpet. "It has always been about Becca with you. Becca this, Becca that. No, Butcher. Screwed up that one chance. I'm not doing it. You just don't care. You use your friends, then throw them to the side like fucking garbage when you're done."

"It'll be different this go. None of that "secrets and lies" bollocks. And that Mallory shit ain't gonna happen this time. I swear to God."

Drip. Drip.

You pinched the bridge of your nose, hating every syllable the man on the other line breathed out. With a shake of your head, you sighed, reigning in your anger and pulling out a cabinet for paper towels. "Alright, motherfucker. What did you do? The cameras at the club picked you up."

"We just dusted a supe." Butcher smugly spoke, confidence oozing through the line. 

"Bullshit."

"Translucent." 

That cheeky bastard. "How the fuck did you do it?"

"Well. Big lump of C-4, packed right up his fudger. Boom," He was excited. "Boom. Claret everywhere. Fucking diabolical."

"But…?" You cut into his amazement. 

"He coughed up a solid lead. Spilled the beans in a big way. Now, we play this right, we could shake up the whole hornets' nest, bring down Seven and Vought at the same time. Y/N, you are the only one I can trust."

You raised an eyebrow at the mention of your name, dance so delicately on his tongue. It was as if the man was putting you on a pedestal. "Names are powerful, Butcher. You know this. However, since when have you ever trusted anybody?"

There was a sly pause on the other end. 

Fights were less often nowadays. Since the fall of the fifth family of New York, there was no need for the heightened anxiety to be on the lookout. Nowadays with your tight grip, it was just petty gangsters that riddle the streets, pretending to be big and bad. Some killed, robbed, or graffitied, all in the name of trying to impress you. No action, no thrilling action that needed your every second of attention. 

And if you were going to be honest with yourself, you missed the action, the absolute adrenaline pumping thrill of physically working towards a common goal. There was a camaraderie in that sense, where no place else could ever replicate, but neck deep in shit.

"Oh, fuck me," You mumbled in defeat. 

Eats Everything: @asraime @aspiring-ginger @mournthewicked @bluesclues-1234 @ladylizzieofdarbyshire @groovyfluxie @keijibum @also-fangirlinsweden @mysoulshideaway @fandom-imagination-ss @your-sparklywinnercollection @yakuzussian-2nd @supergeekfangirl @mayday1284 @sayanythingcreations

Karl Urban: @fandomsfeelsandfamily @justa-traaash @yueci @writerdee1701 @hlabounty96 @lacychick

The Boys: @space-cowboy2227

[leqclerc]

Does Charles get as flustered around anyone else as he does Seb?

Not to, like, expose myself as filthy Sebchal on main or anything but...I genuinely don’t think so? If anything maybe Lewis --- he gets flustered sometimes when Lewis starts publicly praising him (Bahrain 2019 for example) --- but he doesn’t...revere him the way he does Seb. Lewis isn’t his role model. He respects him, of course, he’s awed by his achievements, and they apparently text sometimes about piano lessons. But he’s not the driver he’s looked up to for years, Seb is. They both suffer from the sadly incurable Ferrari Disease and both love this stupid, chaotic red team, even when it brings them nothing but disappointment and anguish. So that Ferrari connection is definitely part of the reason Charles admires Seb as much as he does. 

Then there’s also the fact that Seb’s kind, approachable, friendly, funny...He’s willing to give him the praise and attention he wants to receive --- and seems to want to receive from Seb specifically. I know some people think he doesn’t really respect Seb, that he somehow had a hand in ousting him...but the way he acts around Seb, the things he says and does are so painfully heartfelt and genuine. He never downplays Seb’s achievements, even when he’s having a difficult season, even when he’s making mistakes on track and has no confidence in the car. He never rises to the bait when sleazy journalists and pundits try to provoke him to badmouth Seb, and whenever he’s praised for outperforming his more experienced teammate he will, without fail, point out that Seb’s a four-time WDC...just in case, y’know, anyone forgot. Even when he’s angry at himself for messing up, he still takes the time to congratulate Seb, to praise him, to say he’s glad he’s back on the podium where he belongs (even though he got there by capitalizing directly on Charles’s mistake.) He just goes above and beyond for Seb in a way he doesn’t seem to do for anybody else, and so obviously whenever Seb reciprocates and offers some praise or affection he just instantly lights up. It’s actually really fascinating to watch.

[vanchlo]

The Partner / Chapter Fourteen, "The Ten"

Word Count: 5.9k words /  Story Masterlist /  Read The Assistant /  Read on Wattpad / Warning: Sensitive and upsetting topics

I wasn't sure what had brought me here. It had felt like yesterday since I'd shut this door last, even if weeks had passed since. I'd never been able to shut it on that day and I knew that I wouldn't be able to, not fully.

"Babe! Are you ready to go? We're going to be late for the meeting," a voice calls from down below. Gulping hard, my heart stays stuck in my throat at the sight before me. It hadn't been the only one this morning that was hard to swallow.

"Coming!" The upstairs guest bedroom door closes behind me. I can't help but look at it over my shoulder, still unsure of why I had come up here. "We're not going to be late, Harry! When was it that you started to become so anal about being early?"

Stopping at the bottom of the stairs, he doesn't attempt to hide the way his eyes roll at my remark. They finally settle on me, registering my eyebrow raise I challenge him with.

"Since you take fricken forever to get ready in the mornings, and the boss needs to be early," he tuts, nodding his head towards the front door. I hadn't noticed before how he holds it open, but now, the spring sunshine is unmistakable. "Come on already. I put our stuff in the car while you were dilly dallying upstairs. What were you doing up there anyways? It took me a few times to get your attention."

We'd long ago passed the time of saying 'thank you's for holding doors open, but habit aside, I still say it. Pulling the seatbelt across my chest, I ruminate on his question as he messes with the radio beside me. I'd become a master at being able to tell when his eyes were on me, and right now was no exception, because when I glance over at him, he's doing just that. The words hesitated on my tongue because at times I still found it hard to talk to him about her. We shared her and the grief around her. There was nobody else in this world who could know how I felt about her besides him, but the struggle persisted.

Avoiding his eyes had been my go-to when I didn't want to answer him. I did it now but it didn't serve me well, because of what I find instead. It seemed that nearly every time my eyes came upon it, it was impossible to not trace the curves of ink. It had lived on the inside of my wrist for over two weeks now and I still hadn't gotten used to it. When I thought that way, I realize I was never one to get used to things. My mother's abuse. Harry's coldness towards me in the beginning, only to be changed into sporadic softness. Then we became friends and something more, and it was hard to wrap my head around. He got hurt and I almost lost him, and it was something I still couldn't believe. It was a recurring theme in my life, especially as of late.

The permanence on my skin is interrupted by the soft edges and lines of his hand. A relief is kissed onto my skin when his fingers lace with mine, his thumb paying attention to the capital letter P in his handwriting on my skin. I don't know what does it but suddenly, I'm looking at the melancholy lifting his lips.

"I don't know but I wanted to look at her things in the nur- guest bedroom. The sonograms and clothes . . to remember that she was real and ours when . . when today I feel like I need to pretend that she wasn't," the words tumble from my lips as my throat feels tight with remembering. "I miss her."

"I miss her too," Harry says with a softness saved for times like these, which seemed to be quite often lately. It speaks louder when his lips press a kiss to the top of my hand. "But we don't have to act as if she never happened, Becks."

"I want to though. Not to act like- I'm just not ready to talk about her with people at work yet. It's almost been two months and I feel like I should be ready by now."

Repeating in and out inside of my head didn't help to steady the breaths trying to swim into my lungs. What did succeed was letting myself live in the unending sage color of his eyes, wondering what the flecks of gold would feel like if I swam in them.

"That's okay too, honey. People know not to ask and I said not to. It's more so something that you bring up yourself if you want to," he murmurs, thumbing at the escapist tear that got through my guard. "Are you sure you don't want to stay home another day? I can work from home whenever I want, you know."

"I'm sure," he had barely put a period to his words and I was insisting. His nod was fast but I could read the hesitancy in it. I tried to push it out of my mind as the car began to move, my thumb occupied by the same traces of ink on the inside of his right wrist, a P in my handwriting.

It wasn't how I thought I'd be living my life today, carrying the memory of my daughter in my heart and on the inside of my wrist, instead of in my arms in a few months.

*

I had thought at once that it was a sight for sore eyes, but now I couldn't be more sure that it wasn't. Still, I wasn't certain how I felt about it now. Seeing it had brought forth a nostalgia I yearned for, wanting to go back to a time where we were so naive and unknowing of what the future held for us. It also dug up a pain that could be unfathomable, because I knew how different things were the last time I stood outside his office door, looking in. Our happiness had been unmatched and upon realizing that, I felt my throat grow dry.

He looked more handsome than ever with the short beard he'd come to keep, one that swims into view upon turning around. I'd been caught.

"Hi, bug," Harry says, a smile making the dimples dive into his cheeks. It was small but it brought a glow to his face that I'd missed. "Are you heading out?"

Nodding was all that I could do as I stepped foot in his office. Even if it wasn't the first time today it still stung. Everything I missed was what I thought of when I stood in here. It was the framed sonogram missing beside his desktop, the space behind the guest chairs where I'd showed him the pregnancy test, and on the couch where we spelled out potential names with Scrabble tiles. That was only the beginning of what stabbed at me like knives, even if things had gotten better. It had only been two weeks since we'd started to talk and I had come to feel so much better, almost like myself again. I wasn't sure if I'd admit it but he was right. I'd come back to work too soon and it had been too much. I couldn't decide when I would tell him that I had cried in the bathroom twice today because of it all. He'd wonder when that had happened since I had been at his side all day helping him start on his new case, but I'd thought about her all throughout. I hadn't known that coming back here would stir up so many thoughts about her. How could I?

"Becks?"

"Y-Yeah, soon," I belatedly answer, grateful for his bookshelf in front of me. I know that he knows the truth, but it could seem as if I was lost in reading his titles, instead of consumed by my thoughts. No, Harry was smarter than that. He knew that I had perused his bookshelf more times than fingers I had on one hand, more than one normal person would. "You're sure it's okay that I take the car?"

"Of course. I'll just catch a ride with Myles. We still have a few things to go over anyways. We're not sure if we're sold on that one guy for the new hire or not, so we have to figure out what to do."

I couldn't find it in me to make a comment. Today had taken so much more from me than I had anticipated. I knew that there would be awkward interactions and maybe the curious looks. I didn't know that the team meeting right off the bat would let everybody stare at me to their heart's content, and let me catch them in the act.

"How was today?" his voice comes, interrupting my thoughts. I had come to welcome it, knowing how it broke up my mental web of danger. He had to have known too. "Rate it."

A title catches my eye, replacing the Pain-O-Meter we'd come to adopt since it'd happened. Plucking the book off the shelf, I flip it open to find the familiar title page and a message written in black ink. I'd have a good shot at reciting it without needing it before me even as the words came to blur before my eyes.

"Pass," I mumbled, daring the tear at my nose to fall onto the paper. Brushing it away before it can, I let the words in front of me swim through my mind yet another time.

March 2024

Harry,

I couldn't count how many times I've heard you speak of this case and all that it's taught you, even inspiring you to become a lawyer, you once said. I guess maybe I should have kept it for myself seeing as how you know next to everything about it, but maybe you won't know some of this 'never before seen' stuff. I call dibs on being the first one to borrow it from you, seeing as how it's a new release. I hope that one day we can bring justice and right a wrong like seen in this landmark case. Book aside, I couldn't ever find the words to tell you how grateful I am for you and even though it hasn't been a month yet, how much I love you, Harry. If there's a God, I'll be thanking them forever for bringing me back to you and to your firm to work beside you, and to fall in love with you all over again. I can't wait to hear you talk so passionately about this case and all of the others you look up to when we have our nightly goodnight call. I'll try not to fall asleep the next time.

Love,

Your Becks xo

"Becks?" There had been a time when I'd hated that name and how he'd mistreated it. It wasn't long after that I'd missed it deeply and wished to hear it despite being scared to. "There's no passes."

"Since when? Why can't I just for one time not have to rate my pain, Harry," I almost retort, my chest heaving when I turn to face him. His face remains stoic, that is if you were anybody but the few people who could read his face right now. The shock is clear as day and brings my hands to my mouth. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to explode on you."

"It's okay," he assures me, stepping forward. His hand on my wrist is ginger and reassuring. "What one have you got there? Ah, the good old Glensheen murder. One of my favorite cases."

There hadn't been many times anymore that I couldn't unravel the emotions hiding on his face. Except for now, he locked it up good as he thumbed at the page, nostalgia lifting his lips into his cheeks. It made the sting louder inside of me as his mouth relaxed into its former line, a wetness clinging to his eyes.

"I'd started to think about how I'd tell our kids how I became a lawyer and it always started with this case here," unlike before, a dullness lept into the curling of his lips, a smile dipped in sour memories. "I thought of it with P, telling her how Daddy became a lawyer because of Glensheen . . but I can't do that anymore. It's too hard to think about."

A hastiness filled my actions, first with my hand on his forearm. The velvet button down he'd picked for today felt like butter beneath my fingers, but it was the only easy part about this. No, the wetness spilling onto his cheeks only made it harder and so did prying the book from his hands. It wasn't any smoother looking into his eyes as mine welled with what filled his.

"I'll rate today if you will," my gentle words came, volumes different from mine that had come before.

"Eight and a half," Harry said dryly, clearing his throat afterward. I knew how he craved a glass of water to soothe the cracks in his throat. If only it could do the same to the heart.

"That's your first eight in a week and a half," I note aloud and his acknowledgement is absent. That is unless you count his eyes falling away from mine, focused on dragging his finger along the letter on my wrist as if he could do it forever.

"What's yours?" his question is quiet, but I could hear his voice in the loudest of darks. It was what had dragged me out of my lowest of lows, afterall.

"Nine . . and a half."

It was my turn to stare at my hands and avoid the gaze of the other. I could feel his as I tried to swallow past the heart shaped ball in my throat, trying to forget how quickly his head lifted.

"You haven't had a nine in weeks, bug," Harry remarks and I don't bother to nod. What would be the point? I don't want to make it any more real than it has to be. "Becks, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"When you say nine . . do you mean a ten?" his question made sense but I didn't want it to, because that would mean I'd have to come up with an answer. That wasn't something I could do.

*

Waiting was something I had done a lot of recently and what joined it was my feeling of something being amiss. I had blamed it on losing Phoebe and how it had upset my entire life, but standing here now, both rang too true. I couldn't put a finger on why I hesitated opening the door, even though I had been here just the other night. It had been Harry and I's first double date back with Asher and Skye. We had played Cards Against Humanity and sat around the old rinky dink deep fryer whilst picking our cards.

Leaving that night, my stomach was full from the pizza rolls, cheese curds, steak bites, and more that we deep fried, but that wasn't why my gut felt off. Skye had been acting weird and I couldn't put a finger on it. Sure, things had been different since losing Phoebe, but I knew it wasn't that. Tonight, I hoped it would come to light. If only I'd known now what I would later, I would have never come at all.

There was no answer when I knocked on the door, so I let myself in like usual. Our favorite chicken bacon ranch pizza Skye had promised me wafted from the oven where it cooked. After a quick glance around the open apartment, I find that I'm alone. That's odd, I think to myself, remembering running into Asher in the parking garage on my way from leaving work today. Their cars were parked out front and Skye's purse and keys are scattered across the island. Just like the old times, I muse silently as I begin to toe off my shoes until I stop.

Loud voices carry from down the hallway and immediately I recognize them as the two blondes I'm looking for. Removing my shoes is forgotten as I inch my way into the apartment, trying to listen. Normally, I'd feel guilty eavesdropping and so I don't often do it, but that went out the window when I heard my name. It sounds like they're fighting, but what about? Does it have something to do with me? Why would it? The questions bloom behind my eyes as the sound of their arguing grows when I come closer.

Stopping outside my old bedroom door, I felt more than uncomfortable, but it only grew as I waited. It had been weird at first finding out that Asher and Skye moved into my old bedroom, but knowing that it was the biggest, it made sense. Something inside of me tells me to stop and that I shouldn't be stepping into such a private moment of theirs. If it were the other way around I wouldn't want somebody to eavesdrop on me and Harry talking, and least of all a fight. But I can't stop after I hear my name for a second time.

"Skye, you have to tell Becky. You can't wait any longer."

"Don't you think I know that, Ash? I've been trying to think of how to say it, but for the life of me I can't," my best friend sighs. A whining sound follows her words, presumably after she plopped down onto the mattress. But when it comes a second time, I realize it's drawn from her lips.

"It'll be easier the sooner you tell her, babe. You know that." An unmistakable sigh whooshes from my best friend's lips on the other side of the door. "It can't wait any longer. Maybe you should tell her tonight."

"No! She just went back to work earlier this week and Harry said that she's doing better. I don't want to ruin any of that by telling her."

"She'll understand, Skye, and I know how much you want to tell her, to share this happiness with her. It was all I could do the other night to not talk about it, because I'm excited too," Asher admits with exasperation. Another sound tells me that he's joined her to sit on the bed.

"Of course I want to tell her, but how do I tell her about . . "

I hadn't known how I had gotten here. That's stupid because, of course, I did. But sitting here now, the steering wheel of Harry's car slick with my tears, I still wish I hadn't heard what I did. No matter how hard I tried I couldn't erase it from my memory, and no amount of tears could make it better. Each breath I took sent shoots of pain through my chest as it shook with fitful sobs. The engine still ran, rumbling softly even through the steering wheel my head rested on.

I had lost track of how long I'd sat here after pulling into the driveway. I knew that he would hear the garage door if I pulled in, so I was waiting. He didn't seem to hear or see the car yet, something I was grateful for. I wasn't ready yet, but would I ever be after what I just learned? Just as much as she didn't know how to tell me, I had no idea how I could tell Harry.

The laugh track of a TV show is what I hear first upon opening the door, followed by a wisecrack from Joey on FRIENDS. My heart squeezed at the sound of Harry's subsequent giggle, and knowing how I was about to take it away. I closed the door softly as I could and still knew that he would hear it. It's instantaneous how quickly the TV is turned down and how my unrelenting crying replaces the sound.

"Becks? You're home already, love?" my favorite voice murmurs from the living room before alarm is racing in it. "What happened? Is everything alright?"

I could count the seconds before I hear his rushed footsteps coming my way, and then stopping in front of me. Harry's molasses voice rushes to say my name a few more times but he succeeds in one try to pull me into his arms. Taking my spot sitting against the front door, I melt inside of his arms.

"Baby, please. What's wrong? You're scaring the shit out of me," it was hard to make out the concern in his voice amidst the spinning of my thoughts. It was there but I knew that had things been normal inside of me, I'd be able to hear the panic and fear living in his voice. "Are you hurt?" hurrying to ask, his hands run along my body, as if checking for injuries.

His neck smells sweet with vanilla from his cologne and then woodsy all at once, a smell that used to calm me in seconds. No, not now. Inhaling, I try to focus on his voice and the feeling of his fingers in my hair, but it's more than hard. It's only after snaking my arm out from around him and my fingers into his, do I find my bearings. His chin was sandpapery against my head and although he'd wake me up with the weird feeling, I welcome it now. It's what roots me to the spot and brings me back to him.

"Becks honey, talk to me . . Don't run away from me again," sorrow leaked from his words that began to break on his lips. "Please."

"Harry," his name came out in a sob deep from inside of me. The second I'd heard those words drop from Skye's lips I had wanted him . . needed him. I had known that's the only thing that could ever make it better, but could it after I utter the words that had been spinning webs in my head? "S-Skye . . . "

"What, is Skye alright? Did something happen to her? Did-."

"Skye's pregnant, H-Harry."

*

What woke me wasn't the feeling of his fingernails dragging along my arm, raising goosebumps. It was a nightmare that I couldn't place once I'd opened my eyes, but that didn't matter because I'd woken up to one. The night before came flooding back to me, making me remember why my throat burned and my eyes stung. It was from the screams I shouted in the car where nobody could hear me, not even God who they were meant for. No, I doubted he heard me or saw the way I chased breaths between sobs.

"Morning, bug," Harry rasped in his voice dripping with extra honey.

Something unspoken hid in his words and in the way he covered my face with loud kisses. I didn't laugh or even break a smile. It was impossible after the newly awake ignorance washed away seconds after waking. I felt the hesitation in his movements, the way his chin now tucking my head to his chest moved when he was going to speak only to stop. He wanted to ask how I slept or what I dreamt about. It was the usual stuff but I knew that he was choosing his words carefully after all of the ones that were said last night.

I felt lost in my own, not knowing what to say. It was almost as bad as before when a chasm broke through our lives, carrying us away from each other. Almost but not quite. The thought made me cling to him with fear, never wanting to lose him ever again after all of the times that I had already.

"Shhh, I'm here. I-I know it's not okay right now, but it will be eventually," he cooed to me, fingers nimble and gentle where they dragged through my snarled hair.

"How, Harry? How am I going to be okay seeing her have what I want? I have to watch my best friend have a baby when- when I should be pregnant with her too. I-I . . ," no other words are possible as I begin to shake in his arms. Again.

"I know, buggie," is all that he says, speaking volumes more through his fingers drawing shapes into my back.

"How many times have they called?"

His hand pauses, frozen in a soft claw against my spine, "How'd you know? I thought you were asleep."

"I was but I know h-how they are . . She was so upset, Harry. I still feel so bad for how it happened."

"They each called about ten times already since last night between our two phones. I've gotten a few texts as well but I don't know how to answer them," he murmurs and I can only nod. His calming humming begins against my hair, some tune by The Paper Kites that he caught me listening to when I was his assistant, saying it was a favorite of his too. "Skye already said a hundred times that she understands that this is hard for you . . It's what all her texts and voicemail said."

"How can she say that she understands wh-when she's never lost a baby?" out it comes and I can't take it back, despite all of the times that I had thought it. His words of comfort begin but I'm too quick to shut them down. "But I should be happy for her and Asher," I whisper into his chest, the familiar warmth of his necklace against my cheek.

"You don't have to be anything you don't want to be, Becks. We don't get to choose how we feel . . However you're feeling is okay and it's understandable," Harry says, tracing circles under his t-shirt he pulled over me last night when I couldn't get dressed myself. "To be honest, I'm quite pissed at the world at the moment and somehow at them too. It doesn't make sense but feelings never do . . I had the hugest crush on you when we met and I had a girlfriend. It didn't make one bit of sense to me."

All that I can muster is a hummed acknowledgement before words find me, "You fought it and it didn't go away though. I want this to go away. I don't want to be jealous and mad but . . I don't know how I can't be. It's not fair, Harry."

Any licks of morning light is doused out by black when I squeeze my eyes shut, wishing that was the trick to keeping the tears in.

"I know, honey bug. Life is never fair, unfortunately . . but we're going to have our own family one day. It'll happen for us when we're ready again . . And if you can't do it, watching Skye become a Mum, then you don't have to. I don't want you causing yourself any more pain. You've already been through so much."

"But she's my best friend, Harry, ever since first grade."

"Then give it time, babe. Healing doesn't happen in a day . . We both know that."

"How can I heal if everyday I'm reminded of it, Harry? Sh-She's going to have a baby and I'm supposed to be there as her best friend, like we've always planned. The best friend plans the shower and is there for the birth, and her bump is going to get bigger. I-," he stops me before I carry on and eventually implode from the feeling bursting from my words.

"You can only do so much, and however much that is - big or small - is okay. Skye will understand," he insists from above, nudging his nose against my temple. "Shhh, shhh. It's going to be okay, babe. I promise."

Harry's words ghost over my face, smelling of the minty toothpaste we use. If my body wasn't shaking with waterfalls of tears, I'd try to care what time it is and why he isn't at work. Part of me wants to ignore it and that's the one I listen to, letting him rock me back and forth inside of the safety in his arms.

"Thanks for staying w-with me," I blubber against his neck, finding purchase with my hands cupping his shoulders.

"Always, my love. Thank you for doing the same. I know it seems like we keep getting hit down as soon as we get up."

"No kidding," I hiccup.

Trying to focus on the Elton John song he sings to me instead of the danger concocting inside of my head is no easy task. It was one of our favorite songs but it still couldn't stop me from thinking about how it should be Skye and me pregnant together. We'd dreamt out loud how many times since we were six that we'd be mothers together and our kids would be best friends. Now, that will never happen, I think miserably, wishing that things could be different just like I had thought for the last two months. Those thoughts spun back into how I'd have to stand by her side through it all, pretending that I wasn't insanely jealous and resentful. That sentence in itself makes me cry louder against his bare chest, because she was my best friend and how could I be so mad at her for something that was so amazing? I can't but I am.

It was the very same thing I'd said last night after the bedroom door had opened, all of our mouths agape. I'd tripped on my own feet, or their news had knocked me off them, I suppose. It had sent one of their plants onto its side and profanities from my mouth.

"Ree . . Oh my god," Skye had gasped, a hand to her mouth, of course. The face I had known for so many years, watched change over and over, had paled so that it almost matched the wall behind it. "Please. I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. I promise I was going to tell you, I just didn't know how. I-."

"I can't do this, Skye. I'm sorry but I-I can't. I don't know how to," I had muttered hastily, my wet eyes already painting my face only moments before hers.

It was only seconds later that Asher had exclaimed my name for there to be no response. Moments before slamming the door, I heard him call after Skye whose footsteps trailed behind me.

"Ree, please! I'm sorry!" she had shouted after me, in a voice that snagged on the fresh crack in my heart.

"Skye, don't. She'll be okay, just give her time."

With a pained sob just before the door closed, I heard her choke out, "I never wanted to hurt her."

"Is there anything I can do to take your mind off it, bubs? It's not healthy to keep replaying it over in your head, and I know you are," Harry's murmur comes, trying to shut the door on the memory. One that is still too fresh and new, too much like the puddle of red I sat on in this very bed that morning. We'd made our way back into our bedroom and into our old lives, thinking things were going back to normal. Little did we know. Shaking my head does little to erase the thoughts, no matter how many times I do it.

"Your head's not an Etch A Sketch, bug. Stop, baby, please," he insists, bringing a hand to my head, trying to make me stop. If only I could erase the thoughts like the old toy we played with as kids. Skye and I would fight over who used it, even if we both were terrible at it. "Please, just tell me what I can do to make it all better."

"You can't always fix it, Harry. Thank you for t-trying, but . . "

Puffing, the crack in my heart widens at the pain held in just his sigh. "I wish more than anything I could, Becks. I'm the husband, the d-dad. I should be fixing it."

"Don't. You can't a-and that's okay," I say with a voice colored with the very opposite, because it really isn't okay.

"Even though it's not . . okay."

Nodding my head quickly into him answers that then and there, as if the tears loud from my eyes didn't say that already.

"I see now why you've never rated your pain as a ten before today . . ," he didn't need to finish his thought because my mind knitted it up for him. Because I need to save it for when it could be nothing else but a ten.

"I miss her. I never even met her and I miss her so much it hurts," my voice trembles, colored with memories that had just become bearable to recall. Now, I feel as if I need to find the key to lock them back up in their box because they're too painful to think about. "I just want her back, Harry."

"I know, sweetheart. So do I," his lips brush against my temple with his words, pressing a kiss there that stays. At least I have Harry. I can get through anything with him by my side. I find it in me to take a full breath at that realization, holding onto him tighter.

*

What now, I thought silently but the words spoke volumes. Underneath me the mattress squeaked when I tried to get comfortable. Tugging at my shirt, my eyes fell to my legs clad in a fresh pair of jeans. It felt bizarre to be wearing them. I hadn't gotten dressed in four days, because I could barely get out of bed. It was too much like the last time and it scared me to no end, because I didn't want to lose everything like before.

I didn't want to get dressed today or to take a shower for the first time since I'd heard about Skye, but I did. Harry gave me time and didn't push me, but when he left for work this morning, again without me, I found it in me to do it. My body had already gotten used to the baggy feeling of Harry's oversized shirt and sweatpants. Now, it wasn't sure about these jeans or the warm black and brown Argyle sweater I'd found in his closet. Dragging a brush through my snarled hair seemed like the most work I could do all day, let alone warming up leftovers after it. This time, I hadn't lost myself completely, but I still didn't feel like me. Knowing what I did changed everything once again, and I didn't know how to do it.

Staring back at me, the meticulous plans Harry and I had made seemed impossible now. The blinking cursor nagged at me to type in the shared Google document, knowing Harry would see it. The top listed the logical need to know things and then the places we'd go, followed by the costs and smaller details. It had only been a week since we'd looked at our wedding plans together, but it had seemed much longer now. Seeing the dress decorated with lace and sewn flowers in our closet pained me, making me wonder how I'd get my best friend to do my hair and makeup now. I knew that she would come, even if I hadn't answered any of her texts or phone calls since it had happened. But how could I do it?

[maid-of-the-golden-deer]

Tell me about why you love kurt wagner.(I love him either💙💙💙, I just like to read other people's reasons bc I feel like I can't articulate a text properly haha)

sorry if you've had to wait awhile on this, just woke up haha. and i can DEFINITELY provide this, but it may get a smidge rambly lol.

let's start with the most superficial reason; he's visually interesting. he's a striking blue, he's almost always in a unique pose which makes him stand out from others in groupshots, and he has his unique eyes, hands, feet, and tail. you're never mistaking him for anyone else, and i love that. can't forget the adorable pointy teeth either lol.

along with just how he looks, his skill set and appearance means a GOOD artist has to get creative with his action scenes and expressions. he has highly mobile, close combat fights which are interesting to look at. and when he's not fighting, because his face is often obscured in shadow + he lacks pupils, he gets exaggerated, fun expressions. he just lights up whatever page he's on tbh.

okay, now to move onto less shallow reasons lol, which are harder to articulate because there are so many small things that come together to make him as great as he is. i think, at his best, he brings a nice level headed balance to a team. like he gets emotional and irrational like anybody, but as seen in his early interactions with Cyclops and Captain Britain, he's generally the one giving out advice and knocking some sense into the heads of a team's more melodramatic members lol. he's even explicitly called the backbone of the tram in excalibur.

this screenshot also brings up another things i love about him, even if it makes me sad- one of the things that "humanizes" him is his tendency to self doubt. he's kind, understanding, forgiving... but whenever he makes a mistake, or feels hurt, he tends to get inside his own head and beat himself up. i obviously want him to be happy but i do think he needs this aspect as a way to keep him from being a little one note.

on that note... i love his self confidence. and no, this is not as contradictory as it sounds. like yeah he has doubts and doesn't always believe in himself, but it has very little to do with appearance. he likes how he looks, revels in the abilities he has, both that he has earned and that come from his mutant powers.

and in X-Men forever, a sort of "what-if the Claremont era X-men kept going" comic, he ends up switching appearances with Rogue, and misses how he used to look.

(I know the plot reasons for it but I hate human looking Kurt, give me my fuzzy blue boy.)

to go along with his confidence, i obviously adore his swashbuckling nature and love for all things dramatic and fun. he likes to triple wield swords which is just downright delightful, has movie posters up in his room, makes movie references... he's just got so much joy and lust for life!! his two best solos are when he gets to go on dashing interdimensional adventures and i hope that gets capitalized on again sometime soon (pic isn't from a solo it's from excalibur lol)

another flipside point, unsurprisingly, like many characters of his type, he uses humor to hide his (and others! he likes to make others feel better with his antics) pain and his fear. he KNOWS he's perceived as confident and balanced and patient, so he'll use that a means to distract from what he's really feeling. it's very :( but another thing necessary to make him as well rounded as he is. kindness and joy aren't endless wells that can be pulled from constantly, there have to be limits.

and speaking of, time to get to the part everyone knows and why he's so beloved, in universe and out; his kindness and friendliness. no matter what you do to him, good writer or bad writer, bleak scenario or silly, he's just kind and understanding down to his bones. you don't become one of wolverine's first friends, and then remain his best friend for the rest of both of your respective lives and even well beyond your deaths unless you're something special. you aren't killed as a plot device to emotionally devastate the x-men unless you're one that they all love. you don't get called the soul of the x-men unless you are.

he has every reason to hate the world, but he refuses to, he makes the much harder choice to love it. he leaves eternal paradise to protect the world and his friends who live in it. beloved, amazing, wonderful-

so yeah, these are the big reasons why i love him. he's a man of logical contradictions, good even when goodness in short supply, and just... man just a delight.

a few bonus things i like: he's a hit with the ladies in universe, how his religion (ignoring that elephant in the room we all ignore) is used as a grounding, humanizing element, and he was originally the team's medic.

to sign off, i will share my fave panel of him

[commanderserwin]

How about the Vets embarrassing secrets?

thank u for the request! it took me a while to get to this, and i think i didn’t make it as embarrassing as it is, but please do enjoy and thanks !!! 🤡 

Erwin: he loves sewing. he loves buying threads and needles and even patches from the capital. when he gets home, he’ll take his old uniforms and his usual clothes and try to come up with different ways to style them. he’d cut his old trouser and use the fabrics around the sleeves; makes it into new rugs, or ties. but his favorite is to combine two different fabrics and make it into a shirt. don’t even look thru his cabinet, because you’ll just multiple shirts just like that. 

Hange: it isn’t new to anybody to that she likes to spent her time in the lab, scribbling down notes, reading information from the books- day or night. even moblit is bothered because then he has to stay with her. one night, hange is almost fell asleep in the lab, feeling her body slump against the desk. she woke up alerted, thinking why her arm is wet. she screeched, because her tea spilled on the last version of the book on the table. the next day, when moblit asked about the missing book during their meeting, hange couldn’t help but shake her head rapidly, feigning anger as to “who ever stole it is in big trouble.” 

Levi: okay, he loves cleaning and it’s no secret. but what better way of actually making his private space clean? plants. he takes homes plants whenever he visits this florist, buying flowers or small plants and he takes it home, places them on a vase or near the window for sunlight. every morning, he gets a glass of water, dips his fingers, and splashes his plants. nobody knows his loves for plants, but he didn’t know that the others are catching on to him, because when they walk around the base, he’ll stay longer eyeing the garden, then he’ll get on one knee and cut off a budding plant. hurriedly, he grabs a mug and fills it with soil, and off to his bedroom he goes. and it’s the nth time he has done it with people watching. 

Mike: he loves to bake. he loves to sneak off during his day-offs to the bakeries in the capital, swooping inside, as he watched his favorite bakers fire up their ovens. eventually, he asks if he could try, and he’s got a knack for it. he swoons right the ladies in when they see him rolling the dough with his sleeves folded up to his forearms. he likes the attention very much, but he likes baking too much that whenever he’s back in the base, he’ll drag a bag of flour to the kitchen and begin his handiwork. the base would wake up to the fresh smell of crisp bread, and he would sneak inside his room, happily clapping his hands. he’ll come out of his room with that serious face, and watch everybody eat the bread he made. he’ll smile on the inside, whenever someone compliments it. 

Nanaba: she loves collecting. whatever it is, whatever she loves at the moment, she wants to collect it. she often collects dried leaves and puts them on display on her windows. she also loved collecting teacups, with their tea plates, especially the small spoons that comes with it. she would display it on her glass cabinet, often admiring and having a hard time choosing which one to use. during expeditions, she’ll carry her favorite. it’s the one she made with clay when she was younger. she etched flowers and trees on it, and a the big sun on the inside of the mug so that when she finishes her drink, it’s like seeing the light on the other side. she keeps them tucked under her bed whenever she brings it. through time, the clay would fall apart, but she’ll use it. 

a little something: 

Moblit: he knows hange’s secret. he followed the mark of dried tea on the  wooden floor, and he saw the book blotched under tons of paper. he lifted it up, and took it up to his room. he dried the pages under the sun and would wait for the right time give it to hange. a few years after that, hange would still be skittish if reminded of that book, so during her birthday, moblit wrapped it in cloth and left it by hange’s bedroom. he swears he heard his name be screamed and thundering steps towards his bedroom. he snickered, thinking of the note he left, “do you remember this book?”

[forextrading023]

Forex Trading - Getting Started

Forex Trading: a Beginner's Guide

The forex market is the world's biggest global cash trading market working relentless during the functioning week. Most forex trading is finished by experts like financiers. 

Forex cash trading permits purchasers and merchants to purchase the money they need for their business and venders who have acquired cash to trade what they have for a more helpful money. 

The world's biggest banks rule forex and as indicated by a review in The Wall Street Journal Europe, the ten most dynamic brokers who are occupied with forex trading represent practically 73% of trading volume.

For the most part forex trading is done through a forex intermediary - yet there isn't anything to stop anybody trading monetary standards.

In any case, a sizeable extent of the rest of forex trading is theoretical with dealers developing a speculation which they wish to sell at some stage for benefit. 

While a cash may increment or reduction in esteem comparative with a wide scope of monetary forms, all forex trading exchanges depend on money sets. 

Thus, albeit the Euro might be 'solid' against a bushel of monetary forms, brokers will exchange only one money pair and may essentially worry about the Euro/US Dollar ( EUR/USD) proportion. Changes in relative upsides of monetary standards might be continuous or set off by explicit situation, for example, are developing at the hour of composing this - the poisonous obligation emergency.

Since the business sectors for monetary forms are worldwide, the volumes exchanged each day are huge. For the enormous corporate financial backers, the incredible advantages of trading on Forex are:

Huge liquidity - more than $4 trillion every day, that is $4,000,000,000. This implies that there's consistently somebody prepared to exchange with you

All of the world's free monetary forms are exchanged - this implies that you may exchange the cash you need whenever

24 - hour trading during the 5-day working week

Tasks are worldwide which imply that you can exchange with any piece of the world whenever

According to the perspective of the more modest dealer there's loads of advantages as well, for example,

A quickly changing business sector - that is one which is continually changing and offering the opportunity to bring in cash

All around created instruments for controlling danger

Capacity to go long or short - this implies that you can bring in cash either in rising or falling business sectors

Influence trading - implying that you can profit with enormous volume trading while at the same time having a generally low capital base

Bunches of choices for zero-commission trading

How the forex Market Works

As forex is about unfamiliar trade, all exchanges are made up from a cash pair - say, for example, the Euro and the US Dollar. 

The fundamental instrument for trading forex is the conversion scale which is communicated as a proportion between the upsides of the two monetary forms like EUR/USD = 1.4086. 

This worth, which is alluded to as the 'forex rate' implies that, at that specific time, one Euro would be worth 1.4086 US Dollars. This proportion is constantly communicated to 4 decimal spots which implies that you could see a forex pace of EUR/USD = 1.4086 or EUR/USD = 1.4087 yet never EUR/USD = 1.40865.

The furthest right digit of this proportion is alluded to as a 'pip'. Thus, a change from EUR/USD = 1.4086 to EUR/USD = 1.4088 would be alluded to as a difference in 2 pips. One pip, in this way is the littlest unit of exchange.

With the forex rate at EUR/USD = 1.4086, a financial backer buying 1000 Euros utilizing dollars would pay $1,408.60.

 In the event that the forex rate, changed to EUR/USD = 1.5020, the financial backer could sell their 1000 Euros for $1,502.00 and bank the $93.40 as benefit. On the off chance that this doesn't appear to be huge sum to you, you need to place the entirety into setting. 

With a rising or falling business sector, the forex rate doesn't just change in a uniform manner however sways and benefits can be taken frequently as a rate wavers around a pattern.

At the point when you're expecting the worth EUR/USD to fall, you may exchange the alternate way by selling Euros for dollars and repurchasing then when the forex rate has changed for your potential benefit.

Is forex Risky?

At the point when you exchange on forex as in any type of cash trading, you're occupied with money hypothesis and it is only that - theory.

This implies that there is some danger implied in forex money trading as in any business yet you may and ought to, find ways to limit this. 

You can generally restrict the drawback of any exchange, that way to characterize the most extreme misfortune that you are ready to acknowledge whether the market conflicts with you - and it will on events.

The best protection against losing your shirt on the forex market is to decided to get what you're doing completely. 

Quest the web for a decent forex trading instructional exercise and study it's anything but a touch of good forex schooling can go far!. When there's pieces you don't comprehend, search for a decent forex trading discussion and pose loads of inquiries. 

A large number individuals who constantly answer your inquiries on this will have a decent forex trading website and this will likely offer you responses to your inquiries as well as give heaps of connections to great destinations. 

Be cautious, in any case, keep an eye out for forex trading tricks. Try not to rush to leave behind your cash and explore anything very well before you shell out any well deserved!

The forex Trading Systems

While you might be directly in being mindful about any forex trading framework that is publicized, there are some acceptable ones around. 

The greater part of them either use forex graphs and through these, distinguish forex trading signals which advise the broker when to purchase or sell. 

These signs will be comprised of a specific change in a forex rate or a pattern and these will have been contrived by a forex dealer who has concentrated long haul patterns on the lookout to distinguish substantial signs when they happen. 

A large number of the frameworks will utilize forex trading programming which distinguishes such signals from information inputs which are accumulated naturally from market data sources. 

Some use mechanized forex trading programming which can trigger exchanges consequently when the signs advise it to do as such. 

On the off chance that these sound unrealistic to you, search for online forex trading frameworks which will permit you attempt some fake trading to test them out. by doing this you can get some forex trading preparing by giving them a twist before you put genuine cash on the table.

What amount do you Need to Start off with?

This is somewhat of a 'How long is a piece of string?' question however there are ways for to be novice to try things out without requiring a fortune to begin with. 

The base trading size for most exchanges on forex is typically 100,000 units of any money and this volume is alluded to as a standard "parcel". In any case, there are numerous organizations which offer the office to buy in significantly more modest parcels than this and a touch of web looking through will before long find these. 

There's numerous adverts several hundred dollars to get moving! You will frequently see the term acciones trading forex and this is only an overall term which covers the little person trading forex. 

Limited scope trading offices, for example, these are regularly called as forex small scale trading.

Where do You Start with forex?

The absolute most clear answer is obviously - on the web! Online forex trading gives you direct admittance to the forex market and there's tons of organizations out there who are ready to go just to manage you on the web. 

Be watchful, do invest the energy to get some great forex trading instruction, again this can be given on the web and set up your spurious record to exchange before you endeavor to go live. 

On the off chance that you be careful and take as much time as is needed, there's no motivation behind why you shouldn't be effective in forex trading thus, have tolerance and stick at it!

For admittance to a mass of articles on forex and an enormous number of recordings, if it's not too much trouble, visit my site on forex trading.

Hello there, I'm Philippa Holmes (Pippa to my companions) and I have been associated with schooling and preparing and the forex market for a significant time frame. 

I have composed widely regarding the matter and can check an impressive number of fruitful finance managers among my numerous previous understudies. My numerous surveys all accentuate the clearness of my composition and the straightforwardness with which supreme novices can will grasps with the subjects I present.

[rwinnie85]

Best photo editing software for beginners and PC

Refurbish pictures by having this fully prepared best photo editing software for beginners what allows pc operators to change photo shoots by having various sophisticated photo procedures

By using their image editing software for beginners, wonderful changes or creations are actually just now simple by their tool. It is based on that top right hand direction of the monitor and also it helps anyone to zoom in as well as out of the zone in question. We tinker as well as construct a smaller photo set, select fantastic design for this acceptable feeling and create its own way inch for inch to that good view.

Just like each good photo editing software, this software tool mixes the conventional purposes anybody will require every day along with clever features what anyone can just choose periodically for extraordinary photograph jobs. Certainly those beloved photographs upon a website as well as this major web blogs their style anyone love so far. Assuming that the photograph is certainly disposed, then it seems like this object is wanting to come about of our scale. Data compression is simply to decrease our pixels in a picture to help make it really simpler to save, what might make indicate people lose brightness in a picture. What is generally your post-production process from that moment we install they pictures on their PC until the moment they consider their photograph finished.

Nevertheless, this computer program is even simple to run even if we have actually never ever tried taking software program to modify this images before. Certainly, there are actually so many different methods to photos sharpening of a picture with photo enhancing it would definitely really take ages to do it entirely.

During really solid management, such as if people intend to hide a stray unwanted hair which has been caught by the glow of this camera while an image record, take the retouching feature's other slider. Our feature has actually been added specifically for expert freelance photographers and also editors whose small business offers producing as well as planning premium quality material to their customers.

As soon as you also get hands on one digital camera, you need to have to adjust yourself up intended for success by using the right best photo editing software for beginners

Whenever best photo editing software for beginners you don't, well then only reach the Back button basically left hand side based on our display screen to get back a procedure or maybe four. Anytime I go to one of that photos feature such as photo manipulation, a new page will pop up along with a preview like how the photograph will look after finishing. Literally, this image editor owners commonly locate jobs most effective is actually one that possesses been created by having their operating system in thoughts. Through it is literally like this, since relatively strenuous study, I found another options which were generally either a lot easier or as well powerful. While we run image editing software, everybody will certainly be usually introduced to many of the most professional image manipulation includes which they could possibly yearn for, every explained at a straightforward fashion what makes the entire software child's fun to run.

Similarly, that image editing software is pleased to people who offer products on the web and choose to show the brands in as excellent a light source being feasible. Nearly everything is actually available if anyone choose to edit an image along with their image editing software for beginners. In case they produce ideas throughout image editing software for beginners or even whatever message handling software program clients are working with to their photos. Among this troubles each face photographer is actually gone to on some part or maybe one other anytime picture shooting outside is obtaining the perfect light source.

Often utilized programs:

Photoshop Elements

Lightroom

Fotoworks XL 2

PhotoDirector

Photoscape

PhotoImpact

Paintshop

Fotor

Movavi Photo Editor

This hard studying curve is not required if ever anyone choose software application that is generally very simple to manage, just like best photo editing software for beginners. The features can easy be located anywhere, though I never have looked over other image editor to discover if it really includes those uses, yet I really hope it makes.

Now there is also a full copy workshop that buyers can certainly capitalize on to prepare most of their stamping needs. Since these people work with various features of a picture, though each are accepted to make our gotten pictures better.

Best photo editing software for beginners free download

The minute working so, this color tones nearly always seem impractical, specially this complexion which tend for being way too lemon or maybe sand. In a very long period I have actually been generally taking photo editing software for this device and also various lower editions like Windows Vista. My fastest technique to diagnose regardless if the color gets out in a photograph is normally to check out an element in which shall be white colored.

Undoubtedly many of us, whenever people began, people did not actually know very much relating to which was really that thing and then people simply made photos by using their phones or smaller camera and posted to the pages. Within their photography, they generally will make less the reds anytime photographing in outdoor areas by a bunch of greenery making up that scenario being will certainly be discovered with a bunch of type grass, trees and shrubs. Our photos took time to provide although that would not imply they just cannot have a skillful seek to a picture in merely an hour at a component of image editing software based. Merely as much might be actually created with a digital camera system to get definitely skillful outcomes clients require for being capable to sharpen photos and also edit photos along with the computer devices once merely taken by companies during previous production. By having photo editing software is really made simple to generate photograph collections or only picture mosaics, because this software features a pretty useful customer manual. Our photo editor providing our members really interactive functions like image manipulation, morphing as well as masks. Currently there should be usually someone who has actually created this similarly mistake with photo editing software and know just where they are getting false.

Along with their best photo editing software for beginners anyone must make that repair or edit an image at one time, and afterwards grab this final photograph to the computer system. Whenever there are large size spots inside this photograph that we intend to clean up, anyone can take saturate an image within the top of the menu options to arrange it really speedier. Even so, in case you desire to process our pictures within bundles for instance, by simply adding scaling photo to an entire photo capture and then that can be done, moreover. When people introduce your people along with the raw snapshots what are typically faulty, that they do not always bring out this needed expression, yet this best photo editing software succeeds our wish to make certain that people possess good quality photographs.

[disneydreamlights]

Across the Stars: Chapter 1

AO3 | FFN

[1] [2] [3] [4] [5] [6] [7] [8] [9]

Summary: Tensions between the Separatists and the Republic are climbing as the Senate debates whether there is need for an army. Anakin Skywalker, Senator of Tatooine, has recently returned to Coruscant to speak against its formation, resulting in an assassination attempt that forces him to reunite with long time friends Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and the newly knighted Padme Naberrie for his own protection. [Anidala]

(Or, an Attack of the Clones Roleswap AU)

A/N: What’s this? I’m publishing a multi chapter that’s actually a part of a series? Yes, yes I am. Updates should come every Wednesday since I actually completed this one before getting the genius idea to post it. After that it’ll just be whenever I finish another fic for it will be when the next one is posted. 

The air around Anakin felt charged as he worked on piloting it down for a landing. Normally, he was eager to return to Coruscant after a few days away from the capital planet, Tatooine still far from his favorite planet (though it got better every day. He was proud of Beru for all the help she provided, and he was doing a lot of effort on his own since he’d been voted into the Senate) but tonight was different. The air around the city had felt tense, prompting Anakin to be glad of his decision to fly a small, inconspicuous ship down to the planet. Somebody was after him, he just wasn’t really sure why.

He felt a flash of something, a warning in the air to be careful and wary. He closed his eyes, trying to remember what Obi-Wan and Padmé had taught him years ago, and immediately turned the steering wheel, rolling out of the way of a projectile that had nearly caught his ship. That would’ve grounded it instantly. “Kriff.”

He heard the beeping of his Astromech companion and security detail, yelling at him for his risky flying. “Come on Artoo, we’re fine.” More angry beeps. “I didn’t get hit.”

More beeps, this time sarcastic and irritated from Artoo. “If you’re just going to try to yell at me, be useful and call Mom.”

A holographic projection of his mother appeared moments later. “What is it Ani?”

“You’re already landed, right?”

“Ani?”

“Mom please.” He felt it again, the same disturbance, and this time swerved out of the way of the second attack.

Shmi Skywalker shook her head. “Of course we have, the last person on the cruiser just disembarked. Is something wrong?”

Well, if he was honest, he wanted to say everything was wrong. But he wasn’t about to worry her, plus it wasn’t like he didn’t have things under control in regards to whoever was firing at him. “I think somebody let slip that I wasn’t flying in with the rest of the delegation from Tatooine. I’ve got the situation under control and I have Artoo with me, so I’m fine. We’ll still be landing soon.”

“You ask me not to be worried, but it’s never easy.”

Anakin chuckled. “I promise I’m fine mom. Leave the worrying to Threepio. He’s always been better at it. Just make sure to clear the landing platform. If this goes wrong I don’t want our friend hurting anybody else.” Before she could respond, he hung up, not wanting to worry his mom more in case another attack came. “Ready Artoo? Time to make a landing.”

He was pretty sure R2 was ready to kill him by the time they finally touched down on the platform as he approached rapidly, wanting to avoid a third fire from their mysterious and very murderous new friend. In fact, he wanted to make sure he wasn’t in the ship at all as the bad energy continued to flow around him. “Artoo, let’s go.”

The droid and Anakin emerged from the ship, Anakin pulling up a hood on his cloak to hopefully avoid detection from whatever assassin has his trail. Barely a minute after he was off the ship and approaching the entrance to the building, he was pushed forward, scarcely out of the blast radius with his faithful droid. And he looked behind himself to see the small ship that he had arrived on was absolutely destroyed. “Message received.”

Somebody didn’t want him on Coruscant.

They’d regret trying to get him to leave.

-x-

“Peace is our objective here, not war.” Palpatine’s voice pulled Anakin out of the stupor he’d fallen into as the senator from Malastare concluded his request for aid from the Republic to deal with the Separatist threat coming onto the planet. If he was honest, had the senator not been pushing for the Military Creation Act, Anakin might have felt sympathy, but the creation of an army was not an action Anakin would ever defend. Not one founded on individuals forced to join an army.

He felt his mom squeeze his hand, though she stepped back before he moved the pod out, not wanting the attention on her, but rather on everything Anakin would say. “My fellow senators, when I arrived on Coruscant today to come to this very meeting, an assassin made an attempt on my life. I was fired at three times, and while my skills behind the wheel of a ship saved my life today, had the assassin only been slightly quicker on the uptake when I landed, it’s likely I wouldn’t have made it off the ship alive at all.”

The crowds started to talk amongst themselves, a sign to Anakin that he needed to push. “The reason I was targeted today was because of the bill we’re supposed to be voting on today. Of all the senators against the creation of the creation of an army, I’ve been the loudest, most open about my displeasure, and the one who everybody knows is willing to do anything to get the results I want. Somebody here wants to take that a step further, just to make sure that the bill gets through.” He looked over the other pods, and felt Bail’s approval much to his relief. The speech hadn’t been gone over or discussed with his former mentor, and Anakin had been slightly worried that bringing it up in the Senate would be unwelcome, but it seemed to have been a good idea, even if no prior words had been drafted.

Despite the approval from Bail, the Senate was getting tense, and shouting was beginning. “Ani–” His mom put her hand on his shoulder, but he shrugged it off. He had to make his statement clear to the others.

“You’re all booing me, and for what? This whole idea is a joke. You don’t raise an army for protection. You raise an army if you want to start a war. It won’t deter the Separatists. It will embolden them, and then the fighting will be brought right to our planets. Our systems. Our people. You have to stop living in your delusions.” He slammed his fist on the pod in front of him. Not his best move, but far from his worst in the Senate. “People will die. Civilians drafted for combat will die. The people you force to fight this battle will be nothing but slaves.”

He had people’s attention, and their ire judging by the ever increasing yelling from the other pods. Which was good, it was what he wanted from the other senators. He wanted them to remember his words. “This ‘security measure,’” he said the words full of disdain, “that we’re all voting for is nothing short of a declaration of war on the Separatists, and unless you want to claim that you were the one who brought war to the Republic, you’ll vote with me against this bill.”

The outrage in the Senate was tremendous, but Anakin smirked, having done his job at riling up the chambers. Voices rang against each other as Mas Amedda called for order within the Senate to try to regain a semblance of control amongst the Senators.

After a few minutes, the Senate calmed down, and Palpatine spoke. “Due to the lateness of the hour and the seriousness of this motion, we will take up these matters tomorrow. Until then, the Senate is adjourned.”

-x-

Unsurprisingly, within an hour the Loyalist Committee was summoned to the Chancellor's office. Not a surprise, if Anakin was honest. He’d stirred up a storm in the Senate and even if Palpatine wasn’t mad at him (unlikely) the announcement that he’d nearly been a victim to an assassination attempt less than an hour ago was likely not welcome for him to hear, especially since Palpatine had been trying to get Anakin’s favor since he’d arrived on Coruscant five years prior.

Much more surprising to Anakin, was the presence of several Jedi in his office. Council members, if he recalled the faces correctly. He looked them over for Obi-Wan or Padmé in their midst, and quickly squashed down his disappointment at neither of his friends being present. “Senator Skywalker.” He looked down to see Yoda walking over. “Your tragedy on the landing platform, terrible. Seeing you alive brings warm feelings to my heart.”

“Thank you, Master Yoda. I’m just thankful I’d chosen to fly myself into Coruscant. The loss of life had I been on a transport with the rest of the members of my delegation would have been much greater.” Admittedly, a small part of Anakin still stung with resentment over the fact that Yoda refused to accept him into the Jedi Order, but he had mostly put it behind him. “Do you have any idea who may have sent the assassin?”

Windu approached as well, joining the conversation. “Our intelligence network thinks it may have been remnants from Jabba’s gang seeking revenge against you from when you overthrew them and brought Tatooine into the Republic.”

Anakin shook his head. “I think you’re wrong, Master Jedi.” He watched Windu raise an eyebrow and took it as a sign to continue. “I think the Separatists are behind these attacks.”

The room was silent, as though they were processing what Anakin had said. He didn’t blame them. Accusing the Separatists of wanting to kill the single person who was actively against the formation of a military against them wasn’t logical. But every part of Anakin just knew it was right.

“You mean to imply Count Dooku?” Windu asked, clearly skeptical of Anakin’s accusation.

“Not one hundred percent, but nobody else in his Confederacy would have the means or motive.” Or motive. He thought of Senator Bonterri for a moment. Onderon was a member of the Separatist movement, but she was certainly unlikely to try to level an attack on him given how closely they had worked when he’d been a teenager running around the Senate floor. He had little doubt the other senators who had left would be similar. Almost no other member of their group would have an interest in killing him if his hunch was correct.

“Count Dooku is a political idealist, not a murderer.” Master Mundi corrected Anakin, but he said nothing, letting the Jedi have their say.

“He was also once a Jedi, Senator. He couldn’t assassinate anyone. It’s not in his character.”

“Once.” Anakin frowned at Windu’s defense. “As in he’s not a Jedi any longer. There’s no reason to believe he would still hold to Jedi beliefs, and even then, I’m not arguing that he’s the killer, only that he hired one out.”

Before Windu could respond, Yoda spoke up. “Matters not, the killer’s identity does. For certain Senator in grave danger you are.”

“Master Jedi.” Palpatine looked away from the window he had been near to give a kind smile to Anakin, as though he truly wanted to protect him. “May I suggest the Senator be placed under the protection of your graces.”

“You really think that’s a wise decision under these stressful times.” Bail spoke up, and he was right, the Jedi council didn’t need to spare anymore Jedi from whatever peace keeping mission they were on.

“Chancellor, with all do respect, I don’t need protecting, I can handle myself–”

“I’m sure you can, Senator.” The Chancellor cut him off. “I know you are a great pilot, and have a lucky streak, but the situation right now is dire. I understand that you do not want the help of the Jedi, but perhaps you might be willing to accept the extra security if it were Jedi you were familiar with. Perhaps an old friend like Master Kenobi, or Knight Naberrie.”

Anakin clenched his hands into fists, feeling his nails dig into the palms of his hand. He desperately wanted to see Obi-Wan and Padmé again, that much was true, but he having his friendship with them used as a weapon against him soured his mood for a possible reunion, which further sank as Windu revealed that the two had just returned from a border dispute.

“Please, Anakin. You know how much I’ve desired to look out for you since you asked for our help. Allow me to arrange this one thing for you, my boy.” There was nothing more he could do with Palpatine’s plea like that, and while Anakin was sure there was some ulterior motive to what was going on, he had his hands tied.

With nothing else he could do, Anakin turned to face Windu. “Tell Obi-Wan and Padmé I’ll be in my apartment, and that I look forward to seeing them again.”

It wasn’t until he left the office that he smiled as he realized just exactly who he was seeing again.

[Next Part]

[msbluebell]

Maybe a Dimileth bodyguard au where Jeralt’s crew of mercenaries ends up being recruited to help the king of Faerghus in taking down criminals in nearby territory. Fourteen year old Byleth still helps out, having over three years of mercenary experience and has her hands bloodied, is requested to watch over Dimitri and his friends whenever they go out of the palace due to being near their age but is not obligated to. She still does it though.

King Lambert had been looking into hiring some more muscle for a while. Faerghus has some of the best, most loyal, knights in Fodlan, but it’s good to bring in some new blood and new techniques every once in a while. Mercenaries play dirty a lot, but that just means that his guards will gain experience fighting against people that aren’t usually overly honorable. It’ll be a good lesson.

He doesn’t expect to find THE Captain Jeralt.

He, like everyone else, thought the man had died. He knows instantly that he needs to hire the man. Having one of the most famous knights in history on his side couldn’t be a bad thing, and having him work with some of the guard can only be good even if he eventually decides to leave.

Jeralt isn’t one to turn down a job that pays as well as this. He has mouths to feed, after all, and steady income never hurt anyone. He agrees to work for King Lambert so long as the man keeps quite about him and pays the promised sum. Lambert readily agrees, seeing absolutely no issues with this. After a month or so working together, the King and Jeralt actually become pretty okay friends. They’re not best buddies or anything, but they like each other well enough and can talk about things. So Lambert trusts him pretty well and asks Jeralt to provide one of his most trusted hands to join the royal Prince’s guard when he leaves the palace with his friends.

Jeralt figures this would be good for Byleth.

Byleth is, perhaps, a little young to be a mercenary. Lambert is actually taken about when he first meets her. She’s barely old enough to be using live swords, much less apparently already having a few years of work experience on her hands.

Jeralt just tells Lambert that Byleth is his child and was pretty much trained since she could walk, and the roads are dangerous so she just got caught up in everything. Mercenary work is a hard life. 

Lambert can’t really disagree, but he’s still reluctant to put someone so young in the guard. People will talk, and he’s afraid older knights will be insulted having to work with a child.

Jeralt just says she’s around the Prince’s age and can just be a “professional friend or something, Idk, but she’s good and the prince might like a bodyguard that’s around his age.”

Lambert sees his logic, but is reluctant still. But, eventually, he decides to make her the prince’s unofficial bodyguard. He’ll let her interact with Prince Dimitri under the pretense of “both our dads work together and we’re around the same age so maybe try to be friends”, but it’s with the expectation that she’ll guard him.

After the arrangement is made, Byleth is taken to meet Dimitri.

Dimitri is a polite boy (Duscar hasn’t happened yet, so he’s not haunted by darkness and shadows and dead faces). When Lambert and Jeralt introduce him to Byleth and explain what’s happening, he just nods and asks Byleth what she would like to do first? Train? Read books? He knows how to ride horses too.

Dimitri, it turns out, is a lonely boy when his friends aren’t visiting the castle. He has nurses, tutors, and staff, but his only company while he’s father is busy and his step-mother is distant are two or three knights. So Byleth is welcome company for him, even if she’s supposed to be a body guard. She’s a little strange, and doesn’t laugh or smile, but she’s always there when his lessons are over for the day, and she never complains about doing stuff with him. They train together a lot, and read together a lot, and he teaches her how to play a lot of the games his friends taught him, like hop-scotch. His favorite thing to do with her is sit by the fire and tell stories though. She has a lot about living with mercenaries, and he has a lot about Faerghus.

It’s weird she doesn’t know about the church or anything though. But that’s okay, she probably just missed a lot of lessons on the road, so he teaches her about what he knows. It’s nice to share things he knows. He feels like a teacher. So he starts telling her his lessons about maths and history and crests, and she listens patiently, and it’s…nice. He likes her a lot. She’s a good friend. And, secretly, he thinks she might like him too. He hopes so. (And he likes how proud Gustav looks whenever he sees them playing games together. And Captain Jeralt will sometimes just watch them with this sort of amazed look, like all his hopes and dreams are coming true just because Byleth earned how to hop-scotch or kick a ball)

After a while, his friends come to visit him, and he’s excited to introduce his best friends to his new friend.

Glenn like her immediately. She’s more his age, so he likes to sit with her and watch the others play. They’re usually quite, though he does try to drag her into conversation sometimes.

Ingrid thinks she might be the coolest girl she’s ever met. She likes that there’s another girl here, especially a girl that can play in the mud and knows how to beat people up. She likes telling Byleth about knights, and wanting to be a knight, and Byleth nods along.

Sylvain flirts with her at first, because of course he does. But Byleth is blanked faced and unnerves him. Dimitri, protective of his new friend, gets defensive and swats Sylvain away on Byleth’s behalf, telling him to cut it out and leave her alone.

Felix is always ready to fight anyone, anywhere, and demands a duel pretty much right away to see if she REALLY can protect his best friend. He’s not going to trust just ANYBODY with the task, and protecting Dimitri is CLEARLY the most important job in the castle.

Overall, the time Dimitri’s friends are over consists of a lot of duels, and games, and going out to ride horses and muck around in the courtyard. Byleth takes her job seriously and always follows along, watching out for danger. Sometimes there are other guards too, depending on what, exactly, they’re doing outside, but the kids seem to like her and Glenn best. 

Eventually his friends always leave to go home, and it’s just the two of them again. But the children always promise to write letters, and they do.

Still, she spends more time with Dimitri than anyone else.

They’re sort of together every day for two years.

Then King Lambert announces that he and the family will be going to Duscar.

The mercenaries are to stay here, because Lambert doesn’t want to seem aggressive for a peaceful arrangement, besides, his wife will be more comfortable with a small handful of knights (she never did warm up to Jeralt, and that’s fine, because Jeralt never warmed up to her either). It shouldn’t be an issues, he bought more than a few knights, and they should be back soon so just work with the castle guards until they get back.

Byleth won’t be going this time, and it’s one of the rare few times she won’t leave the palace with Dimitri. He’s hesitant to go without her, but knows he has to. He promises he’ll be back soon, and that he’ll bring her a present. Glenn is there, and he also grins and says that he’ll bring something too, for all the kiddies and for Byleth.

They don’t come back soon.

Lambert and his wife don’t come back at all.

Jeralt and Byleth hear about Duscar days later. The king is dead, apparently, a riot so bad that all the knights were slaughtered broke out. No one knows if there are any survivors. Jeralt swears like a sailor and demands people go look. Gustav is out of the castle within the hour.

The next time Byleth sees Dimitri, he’s holding hands with a dark-skinned, pale haired, boy as tall as she is. He has a blank look in his blue eyes, and he’s shaking even as the taller boy tries to get him to stop, and his hair is a mess. He cries when he sees her, rushing over and burying his face in her belly and cries and cries and cries. Gustav is there, face visibly heartbroken.

The boy, Dedue he introduces himself as, speaks their language in a broken tongue, but is able to say a lot of people died. Gustav finishes for him, his voice cracking as he explains that everyone except Dimitri died in that attack, and there are mass raids against the Duscan people.

A King Regent, Lambert’s older brother apparently, comes to the castle within a week. He’s a stern looking man, tall and broad shouldered, with a mouth set in a permanent scowl. He has thick frown lines, and he looks like he never smiled once in his life, that he was stuck in perpetual frown. Older knight claimed he was like that even as a child, humorless and stern. He has a talent for running estates, apparently, and is strict about how they’re managed.

He doesn’t like mercenaries, apparently, so Jeralt and his company are turned out of the castle within days of his arrival. They receive compensation pay, and are told not to return to the Faerghus capital. 

Dimitri begs his uncle to keep them, because they’re good at their jobs and Byleth is their friend, but it falls on deaf ears. Jeralt’s group is banished. Dimitri hugs Jeralt and Byleth before they leave, promising her that he’ll never forget them. He hands them both a gift, a fur lined coin pouch with the Faerghus emblem sewn into the side, so they’ll never forget him either. And so they can get help, maybe, if they need it. He says it’s a gift, so everyone knows they’re under his protection and people will leave her alone if she’s ever in the market or something, and she can show this to people if she ever needs anything in Faerghus. He wants her to take it, because she’s one of his best friends.

And then they leave. Byleth doesn’t think much of it, she’ll probably never see Dimitri again. Still, she keeps the purse.

Four years later Jeralt and his company are in Rumire Village when a group of bandits attack.