#cantankerousAxolotl

[broadway-stuck]

after a hard year of work we give you this, featuring doc scratch + all the trolls. happy holidays, remember to watch out for meteors!

lyrics by candyGroove

lyrics under the cut!

(Verse 1)

[DOC SCRATCH] The first day of Twelfth Perigee, I killed th-

[TEREZI] Oh, what's this? A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 2)

[DOC SCRATCH] ...Hmm. On the second day of Twelfth Perigee, I took the lives of ev--

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 3)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the third day of Twelfth Perigee, I took the lives of ever--

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and

[TEREZI] A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 4)

[DOC SCRATCH] As I was trying to say, I took the lives of everyone--

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and--

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 5)

[DOC SCRATCH] I will not join in this nonsense. You'll just have to trust--

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI, giggling] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz and

[TEREZI] A scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 6)

[DOC SCRATCH] Will you STOP interrupting me? All I'm trying to do is--

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 7)

[DOC SCRATCH] Fine. If this is the fate I am chained to, then I will perform.

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 8)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the eighth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 9)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the ninth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 10)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the tenth day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave...

[ERIDAN] Ten breakup letters

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six innocuous lipsticks

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI] Four cuttlefish

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 11)

[DOC SCRATCH] On the eleventh day of Twelfth Perigee, their matesprits gave

[ARADIA] Eleven frogs a-leaping

[ERIDAN] Ten breakup letters

[GAMZEE] Nine cans of faygo

[VRISKA] Eight spiders spinning

[TAVROS] Seven Fiduspawn cards

[KANAYA] Six revving chainsaws

[KARKAT] Five fuckasses!

[FEFERI, confused] Oh-- Wait, Chainsaws? Four... cuttlefish?

[NEPETA] Three sharp claws

[SOLLUX] Two bees that buzz

[TEREZI] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

(Verse 12)

[DOC SCRATCH] And on the twelfth day of Twelfth Perigee, I KILLED THEM ALL! With...

[EQUIUS] Twelve rippling hoofbeasts

[ARADIA] Eleven robot bodies

[ERIDAN] Ten piles with CAPTOR!

[GAMZEE] Nine hours with the puppet

[VRISKA] Eight stabs in the back

[TAVROS] Seven feet off a ledge

[KANAYA] Six revving chainsaws

[KARKAT] Five ominous honks

[FEFERI, crying] Four culled friends

[NEPETA] Three deep cuts

[SOLLUX] Two doomed mortal loves

[ALL] And a scalemate hanging from the tree!

[broadwayeridan]

baby it's cold outside

not that you need an excuse to stay wwith me fef, but it is cold outside so i wwould rather you stick around

[broadway-sollux]

here iit ii2 the 2ong youve all been waitiing for.

congratulatiion2 we diid iit. 

we cliimbed that mountain and diid a 2iick piirouette off the handle of my priide.

lyriic2 beelow the cut. cover art by candyGroove​.

Sollux - Aradia - Feferi - E̲r̲i̲d̲a̲n̲

---

iif ii wa2 your mate2priit iid never let you go we dont need no 2pace 2hiit two make that body glow loo2en up your bra2 girl2 and get up on the flow boondollar2 iin my claw2 that iid really liike two blow

2wag, 2wag, 2wag on you

headcanon bout my diick? lemme tell you that iit2 true do a double take, yeah, baby ii got two that mean2 one of them for FF and one of them for you

(2wag)

id like t0 be everything y0u want

)(-EY SOL! Let me talk to you!

iif ii wa2 your mate2priit, iid never let you go yeah iid get the biitche2, hiighe2t blood two low cyberiing on trollian, puttiing on a 2how iif ii wa2 your mate2prit, iid never let you go

iid never let you go

tell me bout your feeling2 2itting on a pile 2oon iill get you 2quealing and make iit worth your whiile yeah, ii dont mean to boa2t but feferii liike2 the view AA ha2 been a gho2t once but now 2hell be my boo

m̲a̲t̲e̲s̲p̲r̲i̲t̲, m̲a̲t̲e̲s̲p̲r̲i̲t̲! g̲o̲d̲ i̲ w̲w̲a̲n̲t̲ a̲ m̲a̲t̲e̲s̲p̲r̲i̲t̲!

eriidan, what the fuck are you doiing here?

i̲ j̲u̲s̲t̲ n̲e̲e̲d̲ t̲o̲ b̲e̲ L̲O̲V̲V̲E̲D̲

you piiece of 2hiit get out of my 2ong!

y̲o̲u̲ s̲a̲i̲d̲ t̲h̲o̲n̲g̲

(2waggiie)

id like t0 be everything y0u want

)(-EY SOL! Let me talk to you!

iif ii wa2 your mate2priit, iid never let you go yeah iid get the biitche2, hiighe2t blood two low cyberiing on trollian, puttiing on a 2how iif ii wa2 your mate2prit, iid never let you go

iid never let you go

y0u kn0w y0ure my w0rld y0u g0t all i need s0l spend a week 0n the sun, ill be calling y0u my matesprit

If I was your girl, I'd never leave you, Sol! I just want to LOV-E and treat you RIGHT!

iif ii wa2 your mate2priit, iid never let you go yeah iid get the biitche2, hiighe2t blood two low (highest bl00d t0 l0w) cyberiing on trollian, puttiing on a 2how iif ii wa2 your mate2prit, iid never let you go iid never let you go

na na na na na na na na na

iif ii wa2 your mate2prit

[broadway-feferi]

You and your stupid fis)(y face! You're KNOT)(ING wit)(out me! -Even to t)(e point t)(at I wrote t)(is out myss)(ellf wit)( t)(e lyrics under t)(e cut!

Feferi

Eridan

Both

You are some mildew,

You just don't think well

It's my Sgrub Session,

You can go straight to Hell!

Is your mouth lonely

With one foot in there

Your thinkpan only

Holds thoughts I put in there

Just what you are I'll spell out

You are a phantom pain

One speck of lint that fell out

The last time that I picked my fame

You are so jealous

Of my track record

Feferi tell us

Your feeble hack record

Your weak knees brand you

Soft and unstable

One small death and you

Fold like a card table

You drool at my pure science

You're just starting when I'm done

You craft your own destruction

Your trident’s no match for my gun

You're nothing without me

A no-one who'd go undefined

You wouldn't exist

You'd never be missed

I tell you you're out of your mind

A show off, a blowhard

You're equal parts hot air and gall

And no one would doubt me

Without me you're nothing at all

You are so thick, you

Eat, breathe, sleep fiction

I'm your meal ticket

Knee-deep in cheap fiction

You’re still flushed pale

Just as it’s meant for us

I call each shot

I’m your quadrant dictator

You gloating ignoramus!

You haven't any shame...

Hey, I'm a lachnolaimus

And most people don’t know your claims

You're nothing without me

Without me you'd just disappear

Right into thin air

And no one would care

Or notice you ever were here

A puppet, an upstart

A loser who's destined to fall

I'm everything you always wanted to be

Let's deal with the issue:

You wish you were me

You're nothing without me

Without me you're nothing

At all!

[broadwayeridan]

i'm sorry for evverythin i'vve done to hurt you. maybe wwe can havve a fresh start?

:33< it's purretty hard to to get in close with someone who's hurt you

:33< but sincere apawlogies are also very hard, so you can work on it together that way

[Song: First Date, Last Night from Dogfight | Lyrics unchanged and cover art under cut]

[Nepeta]

Street lamp, dim glow

A light to blanket night like summer snow

Well, let it pour

Just cover up whatever came before

[Eridan]

Sea breeze, whips through

And makes you do some shit you'd never do

Talkin' queer, why the hell are you still here?

[Both]

And we go

Bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Don't know why

I decided to come

Don't know why I decided to come

[Nepeta]

Meet me halfway

A touch and go of don't know what to say

Do we talk?

[Eridan]

*cough*

[Nepeta]

What?

[Eridan]

Huh?

[Nepeta]

Don't expect too much

Just walk

[Eridan]

Blank slate, blank stare

Yeah you made her cry

Why do you care?

What took hold?

Look at her, she looks so... cold

[Both]

And we go

Bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Don't know why

I decided to come

Don't know why I decided to come

[Nepeta]

Twisting lemons into lemonade

You'd be sleeping

([Eridan] You'd be drunk)

[Both]

If you had stayed

And you might miss

Any good that could come

After this

[Nepeta]

First date

[Eridan]

Last night

[Both]

Not quite what you pictured, but alright

[Eridan]

So take her out

[Nepeta]

Give him a shot

[Both]

'Cause people can surprise you...

Or not

Bum bum

And we go

Bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

Bum bum bum bum bum

[broadwayeridan]

unsaid feferi

fef, i wwill alwways regret ruinin wwhat wwe had together. i hope you can forgivve me

[broadwayeridan]

heartbreak

i'vve been gone for a wwhile, but I'm back now. had to do some thinkin on a whole lot of things.

[broadwayeridan]

The Reason

fef i promise i wwill do better, i am sorry

[broadwayeridan]

Diamonds

poured evverythin i had into this one. fef, i'm finally ovver wwhat wwe had.

[broadwayeridan]

Your Neww Matesprit

i knoww it's been a wwhile, but i'm back and singin for you all

[broadwayeridan]

Lovve Me Dead

no need to deny that you're pitched for me anymore, sol, i already knoww

lyrics under the cut

Lovve me caliginously

Like a salt-sore soaked in the sea

Bein royalty means you boww dowwn to me

You’re a loww-blooded freak

Kill me romantically

Fill my vveins wwith gold then ask me if i feel like scum

Bitter and dumb, you're my honeybun

You're awwful, I lovve you

He codes vviruses nightly

He knowws just howw to fight me

And if his edges softened

He’d fill my bucket often

I knoww he’d drain me slowwly

He’d wwear me down to bones in bed

There goes that vvoice in my head, it says:

"Oh, lovve me dead!" Lovve me dead!

You're a piss-blooded bitch to me

And your twwo fetish is so disgusting

Heartless and cold, you’re bleedin gold, don’t leavve me alone

You suck so passionately

You're a parasite p2iioniic, filthy creature finger-bangin my heart

If you’re really a mage, show your magic to me

You're hideous and sexy

He codes vviruses nightly

He knowws just howw to fight me

And if his edges softened

He’d fill my bucket often

I knoww he’d drain me slowwly

He’d wwear me down to bones in bed

There goes that vvoice in my head, it says:

"Oh, lovve me dead!" Lovve me dead!

Lovve me caliginously

Rraat-dot-da-da-da-da! Rraat-dot-da-d-da-da!

Howw's your neww toy? Wwhat’s she think about me?

You lowwbloods should be deceased

You're born of a biclops, you're beautiful!

He codes vviruses nightly

He knowws just howw to fight me

And if his edges softened

He’d fill my bucket often

I knoww he’d drain me slowwly

He’d wwear me down to bones in bed

Shut up the vvoice in my head that says:

"Oooh, lovve me dead!" Lovve me dead!

Lovve me dead! (Rraat-dot-da-da-da-da)

Lovve me deead! Ooooh!Lo-ovve mee-ee dead!

[broadwayeridan]

Flushed Culture

fef anybody would havve been lucky to be wwith you, and you chose sol of all people, i trust your judgement but couldn't it havve been anyone else?

lyrics under the cut, written by auricTruism

Flushed culture

My God, don't say sorry noww

No wway I’d forgivve you

Quit thinkin’ I miss you (flushed)

I don't care if I'm forevver alone

I'm not fallin’ for you

'Cause this highblood is lovveproof (culture)

I don't care wwhat you're sayin'

I don't wwanna participate in your game of manipulation (flushed)

And no, I don't wwant your sympathy, all this pity’s suffocatin

Just let me be sad and lonely

'Cause

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

You knoww wwhat you’re doin’, wwhile I’m tryin’ to pursue ya

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

Rip his guts, rip his guts out

Oh, no, don't look in his eyes

'Cause that's howw he gets you

Kiss you then forget you (flushed)

All he’s feedin' you is beautiful lies

I’ll come to your rescue

'Til he finds someone else neww (culture)

I don't care wwhat you're sayin’

I don't wwanna participate in your game of manipulation (flushed)

And no, I don't wwant your sympathy, all this pity’s suffocatin

Just let me be sad and lonely

'Cause

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

You knoww wwhat you’re doin’, wwhile I’m tryin’ to pursue ya

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

Rip his guts out, rip his guts out

Shut your damn mouth

You're talkin’ too loud

And no one cares if you’re matesprits noww

I'm sick of the kissin cult

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

You knoww wwhat you’re doin’, wwhile I’m tryin’ to pursue ya

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

Rip his guts out, rip his guts out

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

You knoww wwhat you’re doin’, wwhile I’m tryin’  to pursue ya

Flushed culture makes me wwanna rip his guts out

Rip his guts out, rip his guts out

[broadwayeridan]

Mituna

man, isn't he just incredible? it really is a beautiful name. i lowve him

[broadwayeridan]

Take Me to Church

i hope you lowve this one, kankri, i vwrote this song just for you

[broadwayeridan]

[S] Eridan ====> Beg For Forgivveness

fef i'm so sorry, killin ya wwas a mistake

[broadwayeridan]

Before the Next Teardrop Falls

i hope he takes good care of you fef, but if he doesn't i wwill be there for you

and sol, i really havve nothing to say to you about this