#cant talk to my roommate/best friend about my feelings because they literally are the subject of them

[yee-haw-wizard]

How is it I'm going through like 3 different crisises and I can't talk about them to anyone because their either already know, are the subject of them, or I don't trust them?

oh and in other news I'm finally going to start telling people/coming out as nb

[etoiile]

"BE BRAVE"

starring chigiri hyoma!

synopsis: after being your roommate for a little over half a year, chigiri can say without a doubt that he's never met someone like you. you're sweet, funny, and just a great friend. but what happens when he wants to be more than that?

warning(s): not proofread but im p sure i didnt grammar correctly, mild swearing, gender neutral reader

notes: i want him your honor

"im back.." you mumbled, kicking off your shoes and practically throwing yourself onto the couch.

"well, dont you sound energetic." he joked as he turned off his phone and sat down next to you. "rough day?"

"ugh you cant even begin to imagine." you grumbled. "shit day. start talking. distract me."

"hmm..." he thought. "my day was pretty uneventful. i got let out early and just caught up on some stuff."

"who were you texting earlier? got any tea?" you questioned sleepily with a yawn. gossip sessions with chigiri were your absolute favorite. whenever he texted someone, there was usually some sort of news. plus, he gossiped like a girl and you were here for it. (sorry but chi is just so freaking canonically girlypop)

"nah. i wish, though. just talking to my older sister about some... stuff." he trailed off, racking his brain for a new subject.

"you hungry?" he asked, motioning towards the kitchen.

"yeah. will you carry me?" you asked tiredly, giving him your best puppy dog eyes. you were too tired to move on your own.

chigiri rolled his eyes at you, but still let you climb onto his back regardless.

as he carried you to the kitchen, he couldn't help the way his heart would leap out of his chest every time you left out a sleepy groan or would shift a little in his hold before nuzzling into his back. he couldn't help but imagine being here with you, in this apartment, though not as roommates or even friends, but lovers. he couldn't help how he could never be mad at you, despite what he'd say. he couldn't help how every time you did literally anything, he could feel himself falling deeper in love with you.

"well, think about it this way, chi." his sister had texted. "you've got two choices before you. confess or dont. correct?"

"yeah"

"WRONG. there's only one choice. by doing nothing, youre doing nothing but self torture. you'll always be thinking about how much you want to hold her but cant, and you'll have to watch her go on dates and even get ready for them. obvi, thats no fun. imo, just go for it, honestly. gotta be brave, yk?"

at the time, chigiri said something along the lines of, "maybe i will, maybe i wont. we'll see." before turning off his phone to greet you.

now, as he thinks about his feelings, he's never been more sure. he's never felt this way about anybody else before. its not like his past relationship where it was thrilling and exciting but exhausting. the way he feels with you is different. you feel safe. warm. comforting. you feel like a warm, sunny breeze after a cold rain. you feel like home. you feel like warmth. you feel like love.

he gently set you down at the kitchen counter before heading to the fridge.

"we dont have much food because SOMEBODY forgot to buy groceries." he teased. "we have fruit, eggs, bread, tobiko roe, rice, and instant ramen."

"yeah, yeah. anyways.." you then started batting your lashes at him like a maniac. "would you mind making me some ramen, my dear, sweet chichi?"

chigiri's heart leapt at the use of the word "my." he could feel his cheeks start to heat up and he quickly turned around.

"yeah, yeah, as you command." he rolled his eyes (for the 349348th time) and got to work.

"dont forget the eggs!"

"just be brave," his sister had said.

pfft. "just be brave?" give him a break! it just wasn't that simple. he couldn't risk the friendship most beloved to him. he just couldn't!

he watched as the seasoning gently bubbled with the noodles as he gently stirred the pot with a pair of wooden chopsticks, humming along to a tune he'd heard on your playlist absentmindedly.

"CHIGIRI?!" you suddenly yelped, clearly taken aback.

"what? is something wrong?" he asked calmly but concerned, praying that you weren't hurt as he set down the chopsticks and ran to you.

his cheeks were met by your palms as you squished his face together. "you're humming "cruel summer" by taylor swift! ive done it! youre a swiftie!" you let go as you squealed and leaped for joy, jumping about.

"chigiri's a swiftie! chichi is a swiftie!"

he chuckled as he watched your antics when suddenly, you crashed into him as you jumped.

you looked up from his chest and were met with his gorgeous pink orbs. it stunned you for a moment. they were so captivating, like they were gently chorusing a beautiful melody. you felt yourself sinking into them when suddenly, you realized the position you were in.

there was maybe an inch or two separating your lips from his. flustered, you quickly drew back, though you didnt exactly want to.

"sorry! um, my bad. i was just thinking! about how your eyes? uh... about how taylor swift has... uh... actually, what am i saying I WAS ACTUALLY-" you stammered as you tried to find an excuse for lingering much too long in his arms. staring into his beautiful eyes. on his chest. his muscular, toned, delicious... STOP.

suddenly, chigiri felt something. it wasn't embarrassment, it wasn't anxiety, it was... bravery.

gently gliding over to your flustered and still stammering figure, chigiri took your hands and looked you in the eye, freezing you.

"y/n, youre my one of my best friends." he said, his melodic voice gently wafting through the air. he then gently leaned down to your ear and in a low whisper, said:

"the thing is though, i dont want you like a best friend."

you were left frozen.

"a lyric from "dress." not bad, am i right?" he asked with a sly grin.

as the great taylor swift said, (in "its time to go") when the words of a sister come back in whisper, he realized that his sister was, as much as he hated to admit it, right. all he needed was to be brave.

𝐄𝐓𝐎𝐈𝐈𝐋𝐄 ©𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 please do not copy or repost my work on any other site. interactions appreciated! 🤍

[blxetsi]

Hi! Can I please request modern au hcs for Armin?

tysm for requesting !!

modern armin arlert dating headcanons

lowercase intended !

college!armin arlert x gn!reader

- okay so

- i think in a college setting you and armin hit it off really well

- i think you guys wouldve just accidentally kept bumping into each other, whether it be around campus, at some coffee shop, in the library

- it gets so frequent you dont even know if its a coincidence at this point, yet you cant help but hope that you seem him whenever you go out

- after ALWAYS bumping into each other and apologizing before making small talk, armin makes the first move

- mf just says "are you following me ?" to which you reply "are YOU following me ?"

- that night ends in you two exchanging numbers 🤩

- you find out that hes a humanities major, and wants to be a psychologist some day

- you also find out he has a paid internship at a research facility near the university you attend

- hes super sweet but also super humble, so he tries not to keep the subject on himself for very long, just wanting to know more about you

- as you two get closer he gets more touchy (not in a weird way)

- he starts greeting you with hugs now, and likes to have a light grip on your wrist when hes leading you through crowded hallways of the school

- he introduced you to his bestfriends and roommates, mikasa and eren, and they were really accepting !! (they already could tell armin liked you even if he didnt know himself)

- you start developing feelings for him about two months after you exchanged numbers, and you honestly felt really weird

- because this beautiful boy whos so sweet and kind and intelligent is like,, wayyyy out of your league

- armin thinks the exact same thing

- he thinks youre so cool and fun to be around, you always have the best stories to tell and are so welcoming,, its HARD not to fall for someone like you !!

- finally he gets up the courage to ask if you can come to his apartment

- and there he confesses 😳💥‼️

- you sit there shocked for a couple seconds too long because now hes freaking out like "im so sorry i didnt wanna seem creepy i just wanted to tell you how i felt you can leave or i can walk you home- wait you probably wouldnt want that but-"

- you just kind of grab his shoulders and start shaking him. before you tell him you like him too.

- the apples of his cheeks turn pink before he smiles and gives you such a tight hug !!

- hes immediately planning a date with you for when youre both free

- takes you to the local aquarium 🤩 and kisses you in front of the moon jellies (u know those big tanks with the jellyfish that are like glow in the dark ?? and the whole hallway is pitch black except for the lights from the tank ?? yeah ❤️ he kissed you THERE and it was beautiful)

- has chapped lips 😐 sorry i dont make the rules

- has a habit of picking them when hes working or lost in thought

- doesnt mean you stop kissing him tho

- is the kind of guy that will genuinely get worried if you send an "sos" type message. gets out of his own class just to speedwalk (he isnt gonna break the rules and run in the halls 🙄) and come to your class just to see if youre okay

- looks at you like 😐 when you explain you just need him to get you an iced coffee from that shitty coffee place in the cafeteria

- does it anyway even though hes annoyed 😌✨

- will grumble about paying him back for the five dollars he just spent on you while you kiss him over and over again in thanks

- doesnt let you pay him back though smh 🙄

- loves to give back hugs

- will do it while youre working, or while youre doing the dishes

- if youre shorter than him he'll rest his head on your and just smell your hair

- if youre taller than him hes shoving his face inbetween your shoulder blades

- is such a lightweight drunk its not even funny

- none of his friends are tbh 🙄

- the first time you saw him drunk was when eren dragged you guys out to a party their friend was hosting (literally interrupted your cuddle time in armins bed to THROW OFF THE BLANKETS and say "you guys are coming with me 😁👍" and when you two said no he TURNED ON THE LIGHTS and ruined the vibe 😐 fucking asshole)

- anyways you two had to change back into your clothes at 9pm just to go to a shitty party that was gonna get busted by the cops anyways 😔💔

- you couldnt find him through the sea of people, and u got really worried until armin called you

- it was not armin on the other line 😁👍

- he said his name was reiner ?? and he said he was with armin bc he puked while playing beer pong

- the guy tells you where they are and you go to find them. theyre sitting on this couch in a backroom and theres only like,, five people in total there ??

- armin is SOBBING while reiner is trying to get him to drink water

- "reiner you dont get it,,, theyre so beautiful. i cant compete. i dont even think theyd wanna be with me. and you have to see them talk about their major. theyre so smart you dont understand." "okay buddy lets just finish this water okay ?"

- armin is leaning his shoulder on this GIANT of a man just going on about how much he loves you and how amazing he finds you. until you tap his shoulder. and then he realizes youve been listening this entire time. and then he starts crying because he doesnt want you to find him weird. and then you have to explain to him that you two are dating. where he doesnt believe you still.

- eren ends up giving you the keys to his car and saying "ill just call you when i need a ride back" and reiner CARRIES armin to the car 😭😭😭

- hes a real gentleman 😁👍

- that morning armin remembers EVERYTHING and is MORTIFIED

- calls reiner immediately like "did people see me puke ? oh god am i gonna be talked about ?"

- has very vivid dreams and remembers all of them ?? will literally tell you about a dream he had when he was five and WILL NOT forget a detail. its weird

- his family actually doesnt seem like they like you 😳 not because they dont theyre just very,, quiet people...... except for his grandfather

- doesnt even care who you are to armin, will pull you down on the couch with him to tell you about all his research and findings as an archeologist (before he retired)

- if youre ever feeling sad about anything, whether that be stress, family problems, or body image issues, armins taking you to his place 😁👍

- he'll cuddle you and whisper how much he loves you while you two are watching something on his laptop

- has acne scars on his shoulders. dont make fun of him for it pls

- loves getting back scratches though, the tingles make him feel really calm

- if you have like,, makeup brushes and stuff he likes it when you brush his face with them, no product or anything but the tingles he gets from it 🤤

- over time his parents warm up to you quiet a bit, and when his mom shows you baby photos and from him as a kid youre SHOCKED.

- he had this little bob cut from when he was ten to his teens 🥺🥺🥺🥺

- when you two are walking back home or wherever you cant help but go on about how cute he was and how healthy and pretty his hair looked (not that its not healthy or pretty now) and he just giggles before pulling you into his side and kissing your cheek while saying "okay baby, ill grow it out just for you then"

- also loves the petnames baby, angel, and love

- will gladly let you steal his sweaters. has a really nice knit one that his grandma made him before she died. that ones off limits.

- doesnt like to fight, but when he feels like hes in the right he wont hesitate to yell back when youre yelling at him

- just dont yell at him pls, it makes him sad

- it takes him a while (and by a while i mean like 30 minutes at most) before his texting you asking if you guys can talk about it

- its really easy for you two to make up, and immediately hes hugging you and just asking if you wanna do something with him

- also, cuts his own hair ?? and would cut yours if you asked. mikasa vouches for him "yeah he trims my hair all the time. why ?"

- every year on your anniversary hes taking you to the aquarium. and he always kisses you as softly as he did the very first time, in the dark hallway of the moon jellyfish tank ✨

a/n

THATS ITTT !!! thanks again for requesting !! i hope you all enjoyed. remember asks are open !! u dont have to request headcanons either !!! go crazy friends !!

[dcrothy]

hello friends !! it’s ya hoe moose (she/her) & i’m 21 and chillin over in the cst. i’m jazzed af to join this lovely group and rp with u all !! my gal dorothy here is a semi-new muse & i’m still working some stuff out with her but.....hopefully u like her anyway lmaooo. i would love love love to plot with u all so feel free to HMU or just LIKE THIS and i’ll come to you !! if you prefer to chat on discord just hmu on there instead, that’s chill with me. also bc i am such a.....pinterest hoe u can catch her board HERE !! more info abt her under the cut of course~

[ kristine froseth, cisfemale, she/her, 20 ] GINGER by THE FRONT BOTTOMS? whenever i hear that song, it reminds me of DOROTHY LINDVIG. maybe because they’re VIVACIOUS but also ALOOF. they’ve been living at mulberry apartments since AUGUST of 2016 in 410 and have 1 ROOMMATE. 

tw: trauma, eating disorder, drug use !!

ok so !!!! first thing’s first, she usually does by the nickname dolly. but she doesn’t care too much abt what u call her u can call her fuckass and she’d just be like what’s up

she’s a town native !!! grew up in a shitty area w a kind of shitty family. parents were never around, always off on benders or just....generally bein shitty parents. dolly & her older brother had to learn how to take care of themselves when they were pretty young and they’ve always done just fine. they didn’t have a lot of money so dolly got pretty good at playing up the cute lil girl role and getting free stuff out of ppl

as much as she claims she relies only on herself, she also relies heavily on the kindness of strangers bc without them she definitely would have gone hungry for real

in order to stay away from her house as much as possible she would hang out at the skating rink as a kid & eventually after stealing a pair of skates from the lost & found she taught herself how to skate & eventually figure skate as well. she’s always wanted to go pro but.....obviously couldn’t afford the training

her brother used to throw pretty big ragers in their place when their parents were gone so......she started drinking & doing drugs at a pretty young age & just generally hanging out with ppl who were much older than her & v bad influences.

trauma tw !! it was at one of these parties that she had a traumatic experience w one of her brother’s friends. she was 13 and she still hasn’t told anyone about what happened. it happened on more than one occasion and her brother is still friends w this boy so she just.....does her best to avoid him & pretend that nothing ever happened bc she refuses to acknowledge her trauma

she was pretty popular in school but never rly felt like she had any true friends ??? none of her relationships were all that deep and she mostly just hung out with people to get free stuff LMAO and like rides places i guess

but she does have her lil group of friends that she truly cares abt and when she actually cares abt u.......she’s around for LIFE u cant get rid of her sorry

she got emancipated when she was 16 and has been living on her own ever since. at first she’d would just stay at friend’s houses and sleep on their couches, but that stopped when she finally got a job at the skating rink teaching kids how to skate & got a new place to live. she’s been chillin working there and living in the apartment building for a couple of years now

despite the fact she has a job, a good portion of her income doesn’t even rly come from that ??? she has......a sugar daddy who finances most of her spending

that is.....a v brief outline of her life up until this point but imma talk a bit abt her personality now

she is.....very magnetic tbH. knows how to draw in a group and keep them interested

knows how to bat her eyelashes and flirt if it means she’ll get something out of it

she’s kind of mean, kind of not ??? she is v moody a lot of the time tbh like it’s either hit or miss with her. sometimes she’ll be in the mood to have a big long chat and in a split second she’ll be telling u to fuck off

likes to know everyone else’s drama but doesn’t like having drama of her own

kind of does her own thing ???? marches to the beat of her own drum. doesn’t rly follow any rules. she’s just out here

does most things out of spite. even if she doesn’t want to do something, if someone tells her she cant do something she’s gna do it no matter what

very animated and lively. the type to dance in the middle of the grocery store if a song she likes is playing

also the type to dance on tables at the club

doesn’t rly care what ppl think about her but.....does at the same time ??? if ur important to her she cares deeply abt ur opinion but if not........she doesn’t give a FUCK

makes homes out of people far too easily & it’s fucked her up!!!!!

she always has to keep herself busy or else she’ll lose her mind :))))

will do.......literally anything to get something for free ??? doesn’t matter what it is or who u are. she can HATE u but.....she will still blow u behind the 7/11 for a free slurpee u know

i wouldn’t say she’s hypersexual but she is highly sexual thx to her trauma !!!

she is friendly yet distant at the same time so like......while she will happily talk to u and hang out with u and whatever she avoids deep conversation topics ig ??? she always finds a way to leave or change the subject when it gets serious or make a joke out of things bc she can’t.........talk abt stuff ajsdfjkgdjgk

a very witty & clever girl. she’s v smart and would have done well in school had she had a slightly better life & didn’t have to worry abt whether or not she would starve

some extra tidbits abt her !!!

p much all of her clothing is vintage/thrifted. she likes to re-purpose old clothes and make them her own. but her aesthetic is v vintage. shoes are her fave & she’s always wearing some funky type of boot or platform shoe

just a real fashion bitch !!!!

catch her online shopping at almost any given moment

mental breakdown haircuts at 2am are her Mood

she loves going to cute lil vintage diners & drinkin a cherry coke. she....actually is lowkey addicted to pop 

can’t keep a relationship to save her life. will date someone and put herself FULLY into the relationship but.......will either get bored or cheat on them or put them up on a pedestal so it’s destined to fail after one lil mistake.

she is a self-sabotager like that bc she doesn’t believe she’s deserving of love or any good things really

smokes cigarettes

drug use tw !! smokes a lot of weed probably. also does a lot of cocaine. has a coke addiction, in fact

her fave colour is red

she has a cat named freddie who she adores more than anything else on the planet

likes to play poker & gamble

will literally try anything once

hates herself & is rotting inside!!!!!!!!!!!!

eating disorder tw !! another symptom from her trauma is the eating disorder she developed as a teen. food is.....one of her few things in life she can fully control so she controls it a Lot. she’ll go days without eating just to feel more in control & then often times after restricting a certain food for a v long time she’ll go on a massive binging and purging and it’s awful :////// 

just wants to have fun and forget abt how disgusting she feels on a daily basis & how much she hates herself :))))))))))

generally just.............a messy bitch

this is......a LOT. i don’t have a full wc page or anything yet but here r some ideas ig ???

friends !! ppl that don’t actually know her all that well but she pretends they do anyway

exes !! ya girl puts her whole entire being into relationships even tho she runs away from them right after bc self sabotage ???? so she prob isn’t on good terms with any of her exes but......she’s my bi queen so this is open to anybody!!!!

a drug dealer

party buddies

fwbs & hookups, that kinda thing

maybe someone she cheated on a partner with ??? for Drama

or like....someone who’s relationship she fucked up idk

maybe someone who has a crush on her or something & she’s like.......pls don’t what r u doing

someone she has a crush on & avoids them like the plague bc feelings are gross

a good influence

idK i want angst & cute fluffy stuff so just.........everything pls thank uuuu

and ofc.............the song connections i’ve sent to the main~

that was a LOT im sorry y’all but..........come plot w me pleaseeee :’)

[ruslanalekseev]

Was Hiruzen a Good Hokage?

No. As many people have already pointed out, Hiruzen was very indecisive, and he always did what his advisors told him to. Which wouldnt be that bad, if not the fact that almost every single one of their decisions were suggested to them by Danzo.

Hiruzen might have had good intentions, but good intentions wont do you much good, if:You orchestrate the massacre of one of the founding clans in your village. You dont react to bullying towards the villages probably most valuable shinobi.You cant even bring yourself to killing one of the greatest criminals from your village

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Did the music of led Zeppelin change your life?

Yes!

As does every song does, some more than others. The Rain Song played while I was enjoying the company of a young lady I met on Manhattan Beach as I was coming out the ocean, exhausted from surfing for 5 hours. I collapsed on my board and was laying there taking in the scene when this beautiful blonde girl with curly hair, piercing blue eyes, and a body of a Black girl, blocked the sun, looked down and said are you ok?

. That was the beginning of summer of 91 and we had fun. Especially the night we spent in a motel on the beach, listening to led Zeppelin

------

Who is the most under appreciated American president?

Adams greatest war president in our nations history.When almost everyone in the young country wanted war with France egged on by that snake Jefferson. Adams held back, he understood war was not necessary would be destructive and would cripple the country for decades, he also well understood his stand would likely cost him his reelection but he stood firm.

The country did not go to war but he did loose his office. Such a shame the country remembers the man who did his most noble service as a citizen under an English king and not the man who formed the nation after the Revolutionary War

------

Why did you leave Hinduism for Islam?

People group or regroup into religion for rudimentary security reasons, not due to any love for a religion.

Any person who understands the first alphabet of any religion will know the purpose of religion is to help and serve the society he or she lives selflessly, particularly those who donu2019t follow his/her beliefs and faith has to be served, loved and cared.If someone thinks that his/her religious group is better than the other, it discredit the fundamental first alphabet of the religion. Islam, Hinduism or any religion in the world, if it is practiced by grouping and subgrouping its practioners, it is deplorably divisive for the society and in general human welfare

------

In WW2 during the Battle of France, why did it take so long for France to surrender?

Why didn't France surrender earlier?

France waited so that the English could be evacuated from Dunkirk. They held the German back while the small boats could get in and get the boys home.

Then they had a resistance to organise not easy when you have a whole lot of tanks running over your toes. Finally, the Italians decided to pop in for a late entry in the game of conquest so they had them to send packing. Then they surrendered.

That is to say the French Government surrendered, the French people on the other hand fought on.If you have ever seen Monty Python and the Holy Grail, you see just how ferocious the French can be in their taunting of opponents.

[puckgoodfaggot]

Numbers 1 through 60 👹👺

jfc okay this is going below a cut

1. selfie

2. what would you name your future kids?

i have no idea! i used to like the name naomi a lot but at this point, i don’t even know if i want kids, so i haven’t really thought about names.

3. do you miss anyone?

my boyfriend and also my michigan friends and cami and carson

4. what are you looking forward to?

done

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

micha and kathryn. jaime. kyle too tbh he’s funny as hell. most of my friends, really.

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

yeah but thankfully i havent needed to in a while

7. what was your life like last year?

basically like this but i had shorter hair and lived in a shittier apartament

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

probably lmao but not in recent memory

9. who did you last see in person?

kathryn, bc we live together

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

sometimes but not always

11. are you listening to music right now?

no, i’m listening to my boyfriend talk to his roommate while he makes himself a hot chocolate.

12. what is something you want right now?

hmm... saucisson and goat cheese

13. how do you feel right now?

pretty content!

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

probably yesterday? kathryn and i hug frequently

15. personality description

of me? idk i’m funny but also very serious about things i care about and i’m passionate and empathetic and a big goofball who loves attention

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn't?

i mean yeah probably but i cant think of any rn besides like, wanting to tell people to fuck off but not doing it lmao.

17. opinion on insecurities.

we all got ‘em. we can all work towards overcoming ‘em too.

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

nah.

19. have you ever been to New York?

yupp

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

mika’s entire discography

21. age and birthday?

22, and i turn 23 on june 22

22. description of crush.

done

23. fear(s)

abandonment but also public speaking

24. height

5′8″

25. role model

my parents

26. idol(s)

shakespeare 

27. things i hate

tomatoes, onions, olives, oysters, etc

28. i'll love you if...

idk i guess if you’re nice to me and we have stuff in common and time to bond over that

29. favourite film(s)

lotr trilogy

30. favourite tv show(s)

adventure time, great british bakeoff, antm, project runway, etc.

31. 3 random facts

(1) tolkien and lewis once went to a party dressed as polar bears. it was not a costume party. (2) william shakespeare left his wife his second best bed in his will. (3) oscar wilde once locked himself in his house for like two weeks and refused to see anyone because he was trying to prove a theory about the male subject of shakespeare’s sonnets.

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

tbh i think i have a relatively even mix

33. something you want to learn

how to pole dance (just signed up for classes and i’m v hype about it)

34. most embarrassing moment

idk i’ve done so much dumb shit lmao. i once wrote a venting letter to a guy i liked that he was never supposed to see and then someone gave it to him and it was very awkward.

35. favourite subject

british lit

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

get my masters at the globe, work at the globe, see mika in concert

37. favourite actor/actress

idk i don’t super keep up on this stuff anymore. i like john boyega but who doesnt?

38. favourite comedian(s)

john mulaney

39. favourite sport(s)

none lmao do i look like a masc gay???

40. favourite memory

meeting liam o’brien

41. relationship status

going on three years with micha

42. favourite book(s)

the hobbit, midsummer night’s dream, macbeth, twelfth night, the mayor of casterbridge, the enchanted life of adam hope, the whole song of the lionness quartet

43. favourite song ever

fuck i dont know. i guess maybe ....... idk one of radiosepia’s songs?

44. age you get mistaken for

like 16 lmao

45. how you found out about your idol

well he’s shakespeare, so like. just by existing in an english-speaking country.

46. what my last text message says

“I don’t think my car can handle the roads right now. I’m so sorry.”

47. turn ons

neck kissing and back scratching

48. turn offs

being unwashed i guess? (i cant really come up w/ a lot tbh cause micha never really does anything that turns me off lmao)

49. where i want to be right now

here in my bed but with my boyfriend here too

50. favourite picture of your idol

51. starsign

cancer

52. something i'm talented at

literary criticism

53. 5 things that make me happy

my friends, my family, my boyfriend, good food, d&d

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

the fact that i have homework to do but i dont want to do it so i know im gonna procrastinate

55. tumblr friends

rowan, cindy, tess, mj, jaz, sra, quill, nick, lysandre, éan, maxxie, olivia, etc. there are so many i literally cant list them all

56. favourite food(s)

saucisson, basically any indian food i have tried, fried rice, chocolate, cashews with dried cranberries, extremely rare steak. the list goes on.

57. favourite animal(s)

cats, ravens, snakes, lions.

58. description of my best friend

very tall, very pretty, very talented singer, very gay, very emo. silly and easy to make laugh. distractible. loves to play the sims. enjoys potatoes and cheese, especially together. loves makeup. loves harry potter more than anything. wears a lot of chokers.

59. why i joined tumblr

my friend at the time told me to, so i did.

60. ask me anything you want

you didn’t give me a question!

[redbugblackbird]

personal

PS: This is just me, like a journal of me ranting to myself for a while. it is poinless reading and was only a writing excercise for me to work though a certain problem. venting. its subject is of roommate struggles yet again.

back at my apartment and i already feel like shit. Roomy and i started talking, and i brought up that after last summer they been in cycles of coldness that i couldnt handle, and they say its too far in the past to discuss. Even though ive brought this up b4, and every time its "too far in the past to discuss" .

I really dont know why i stayed so long. They traeted me like shit for months after that summer and on and off again since then, . like i asked while they were doing it and ofc they didnt say, and i asked after, but it was already "too far gone". like ,, Fuck them This shit where i felt like shit because they treated me like shit, was never adressed! of course im still mad, when they never addressed that! of course im still mad that they never agknowledged how shitty they treated me. got damn. like, if its slways too late.

ughhggggh im so cozy in this bed but i cant even be in this same room im so upset ugh...

and like, when i said that i was def leaving in december, they ask if i cant wait a couple more months, like,,, like they aint just tried to kick out the other roommies god damn!

VENT

fuck fuck fiuuuuuuuckkkjjjjjkkccchgxtjvtjbfyhbfyubcxybb

gfyhgifftuihvcftujvfyk

ugh, i fuckin, ifyhhggfcdftyjbvcfj, why cant they even try to listen about how that shit they pulled made me feel!? like, ugh i know its a wasted cause of friendship, but before that summer we were such good friends, and we were so comfortable and friendly and good. I gotta get over that though. yhose rainy day times are absolutely gone, and i dont know why they started hating me, but god fuckin damn, like they were so cruel that like, on our drive back that summer i frlt so bad that i literally got sick. i fuckin couldnt believe that they thought that i couldnt understand that they were sad, when of course i got that, i just didnt understand why also they had to treat me like a piece of shit. i fuckin was so disgusted with how they saw me that i had to leave the campground in the dark and find a solo place to just fucking throw up and try and calm tf down from the realization that my friend thought i didnt understand what its like to leave friends forever. it was so fuckin gross that they ho w they treated me for wrongly assuming that i didnt think it would be terrobl, saying goodby forever to my best friends..., like gos damn ugh im stiill so worked up about this and they never ever are going to do shit and i gotta let it go and i Gotta ley.it go and i gotta let it go. i gotta let it go. i gotta recofnize that i did my best for them and i did the best for me, and i gotta let them go on beleiving i started this sjit. i yotta get it off my chest, so here it is all this bull sjit and i mean ill probs stay mad about it for a while, but its nothing i can do about it. its a dead friendship. its dead, and they killed it, for better or for worse, there was nothing i could do, and i know i tried everything. its dead. it is dead.

[self-wonderland]

What au would fit tina and each ship best?

i love aus

thanks for sending this!!! ♥

okay so! shina woud def be fairytale au. as them being royalty, and probs betrothed… or maybe shiro saving tina from a dragon? except tina actually befriended the dragon that was just lonely and sick of being attacked and shit, and explained so to shiro, so shiro didnt harm the dragon, the dragon just became their friend and pet and everyone truly lived happily ever after

tidge would be roommate au!! they wouldnt know each other and would like study completely different things and everything, but theyd be comfortable living around each other, and theyd start getting more involved in what the other is studying and doing and theyd just end up knowing each other very well and start falling and everythings cute and pure. also theyd pull allnighters together and then die together

keina is!! man i dont know if theres an au for this and how its called?? tina just works reception at keith’s gym, and shes there when he gets there really early and its pretty much just them, and while she enjoys the sight, sometimes they chat when he stops for a break buys a bottle of water at the vending machines in front of the reception, shes bored and asks him questions and hes not that bothered, and they end up talking a lot and they get acquainted and then everytime keith comes in shes cheerfully saying goodmorning to him even if shes dying from tiredness (and proceeds to faceplant on the desk and be like “kill me i hate being here so early in the morning”. he snorts and is like “and whose cute face am i supposed to see if youre not here?”. he realises what he said and they both blush and he just nyooms to the changing rooms)

tince coffee shop au!! lance works at the coffee shop, tina is there often because she likes the coffee and its a cute quiet cozy place she feels comfortable in so she comes in whether to do work or just spend some time, esp when shes in a bad or depressive mood and she needs to be away from home but somewhere she feels safe. lance always cheers her up and he always knows what to say without going overboard and making her uncomfortable! lance doesnt want to be too bold so he never gives her his number but one day she comes in and she tries to be chill but its obvious shes crumbling from depression and whatever happened at home so she just slumps over an armchair and orders the usual with a weak voice and just keeps her head down and just kind of tries not to cry and breakdown there and then, and lance gets it and does super cute latte art and gives her her favourite pastry even if its not her usual because its more expensive, and he pays everything for her, and asks someone to cover for him for a few minutes (and uses up his break for that, pretty much) and joins her and likes the way she lights up at the sight of the pastry, and when lance tells her that the bill is already been taken care of, and he tries to ask her whats wrong and she doesnt reply but she folds up a little more and looks away so its obvious she doesnt want to talk about it, so lance casually changes subject like “you know whats wrong in my life?” and dramatically retells of like something super stupid that happened, probably with his siblings, and makes her laugh and cheers her up and never leaves her alone, for the entirety of his break (that his coworkers make as long as they can before they need him back or theyll die, but their coffee shop isnt usually busy so thats good luck), and just takes her mind off of stuff and makes her feel better and she? appreciates it so much. and when hes like “ah man they need me back, theres not enough lance for everyone! ill see you later, sweetcake�� but before he can leave she calls to him and just thanks him and hes like, “im always here for a cute girl like you” and winks at her before going back to work.

she finishes her coffee and before leaving she writes her number on a piece of paper and when she brings her cup and plate back she also leaves the paper, making sure lance sees it, and leaves.

he calls her as soon as hes off and they start going on dates and theyre adorable. i wrote too much about this. i swear i didnt think about this before.

tink highschool au!! theyre in a lot of the same classes and they exchange notes sometimes when they sit close and they end up helping each other a lot in different subjects so they end up sitting next to each other more often and end up being friends and then start liking each other eyyy

allina mermaid au!! tinas the mermaid and shes so curious of the humans?? (or… alteans whatever) and shes told repeatedly to not contact the humans but she decides to take secret trips to the beach anyway ofc. she sees from far away allura, sitting on the beach humming and enjoying the dawn with her feet in the water and she looks so calm and so pretty that tina decides that, since no one else is around, she wants to try and get closer! allura is at first confused about who would be out in the water at that time, but she then sees her tail and is so excited?? and tina at first is scared but allura still has a calming aura so she explains with a soft voice that she wont hurt her, shes just never seen someone like her, is she a mermaid? so tina slowly gets closer and nods, and they end up talking a lot about each others kingdoms and cultures because theyre both curious people, and tina never gets caught and allura is smart about how to avoid being caught and respects tinas wish of not being known to anyone else so she keeps it to herself, but they meet most nights at the beach and sometimes they play around, but mostly they talk. and they never end up married or anything, in my idea of this au, but they do end up having really strong romantic feelings for each other, so they decide to start dating. and its all a secret and all, but they meet often, and tina gives her a special seashell they can literally call with whenever they cant see each other or alluras on a trip or if they just want to hear each others voice during the day, and they definitely have good morning calls!!! and allura is a princess so she needs to marry for her kingdom, but it is always clear to everyone in the kingdom - and to alluras spouse - that it is not a love marriage, just a marriage for the good of the kingdom, and her spouse is a good friend and confidant (although theyre never told about tina either) and they respect it and alluras such a good queen anyway that no one doubts the ability for her and her spouse to be good rulers without being actually romantically involved. so allura still secretly dates tina and tina knows of this and shes?? so touched that allura still wants to date her and didnt want to forget about her to have a love marriage?? tina loves her so much. she just peppers her with kisses so much for a good deal of nights. theyre happy and in love and dating is enough for both of them

[dailydoseofme5]

insanity

I feel like I am going insane. It is January 17th 2017 at 2am and I cant sleep (but whats new?)

I don't know whats going on with me. I don't know what is wrong with me but I feel like I'm on right. 

How is everyone else sane?! How is everyone else not always worried about the future? How does everyone else not have all these questions swirling around in their head all the time?! How is everyone else not paralyzingly scared they are going to end up alone or never really be understood?

I’m writing this because I need to sort this out some way and writing things down helps me come to terms with how I am feeling. 

Tonight I am struggling with the feeling that I have lost my zest for life. What happened to the joy that I use to feel all the time? What happened to just being excited to wake up and do life? Now it seems that everything is a chore. I am just going through the motions and I feel like a zombie. I don't know exactly when but I have lost my joy and excitement in the little things and I think when I lost that, I lost my happiness. Ive been struggling with thoughts of suicide and that scares me. The thoughts have been more frequent and I don't know what to do about it. But, I don't think I would ever really act on these thoughts. Its just something that I wish I had enough balls to do. Its not necessarily that I WANT to die, its more of a “I wish I wasn't alive and I wish I could just go into an endless sleep.” The thing about suicide thoughts is that you cant tell anyone because they will all think you are crazy. Or they will never forget it about you. But that is a very lonely thought to keep all to yourself. I am scaring myself as I type this so next subject. 

Life is hard. It aint for no sissys at least...

I just DO NOT know what I want to do with my life. Lately I have been struggling with ideas of going into sales THEN staying in Lafayette or moving away, becoming a flight attendant, or going back to school to be an ultrasound technician. 

Like, how do you not know what you wanna do? Its your mind so why cant you just pick something? 

Why am I so scared to move to a city and be all alone? I have always been independent and never relied on other people. But, here I am, completely dependent on others and SCARED. I have NEVER been that girl. I always liked being on my own, adventuring out, ect. So why am I suddenly changing into someone I don't admire? 

What I wanna do changes DAILY. shoot, HOURLY. 

Some days when I have a good day in Lafayette, and I can call a friend over to drink wine and watch The Bachelor with me, I think I wanna stay here. 

Then some days, when I’m left out, or roommate struggles, or all my friends wanna go out and I don't, I wanna move. But what if I move and am all alone and become MORE suicidal and lonely? BUT what if I move and meet best friends, get my zest for life back, and finally get into a relationship? (lol) 

It could literally go either way. Its a gamble. 

I am scared to stay here and be mad at myself for never leaving and experiencing something Ive always wanted to do. And I am scared to go and Im scared to be far away from my family. Im scared my friends will move on without me and then what did I spend 4 years of my life with these people for? ugh I am crying as I type this because I have been in such agony over this decision for a long time. I CONSTANTLY have so many questions whirling around in my mind and at this point, its like I DONT EVEN CARE what happens just make a decision so I can stop obsessing over it!!!!!!!!

I have been praying about it for a YEAR and I feel like I haven't gotten much clarity from God so I have been frustrated honestly. Even though I know I shouldnt.

 I want this decision to be over. 

I want to be happy with my decision. 

I want confirmation from God.

I want a zest for life. 

I want to be comfortable in my own skin. 

I want to stop over anything everything. 

I want to be successful. 

I want more supportive people in my life that I feel actually LISTEN to me and don't just dismiss these things that I am worried about by saying, “just don't worry, everything will work out”......DONT YOU KNOW I CANT JUST NOT WORRY ABOUT MY LIFE DECISION?

I want to have more self control

I want to find joy in the little things. 

I want to stop feeling like a failure in all of these interviews. 

I know that it is probably very unlikely this will happen, but I just want to have an epiphany and be like, OMG THIS IS WHAT IM GANNA DO. I want a prophecy to speak to me. I want God to come to me in a dream and speak to me. 

The more I am thinking about all this...I wonder if I have just talked about moving away so much and for so long that now I feel pressure from myself to do it. To live up to what I said. But you know what? Feelings change, desires change, people change. And thats OKAY. we are allowed to change our minds. 

And then the other half of my brain that likes to torture me is saying, “you were scared when you left for college too and it turned out great!! Don't let your fear of striking out keep you from playing the game!” It will be a fun adventure and will give your heart joy to experience a new place and new people!

But whats the rush??? Why not wait a year untill you are ready?

But “if you wait untill you are ready then you will be waiting forever...”

DO YOU SEE WHAT I AM DEALING WITH HERE???!?!?!?!?!?!?

Absolutely no one understands how much I am just being TORE UP inside over all of this. I think people think I’m kidding when I talk about being stressed about it. 

I feel like I am literally just being completely attacked by the devil in my thoughts. I need to take control. 

Wish me luck.