#cant talk cant help cant do math cant do chemistry cant draw cant keep a friendship cant be normal around your dad

[themoonstonechronicler]

its hollow again

[shadedrose01]

The Terrible, Horrible, No Good Turned Very Good Day

Ship: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker)

Summary: Harley has a bad day, then Peter promposes to him.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 11, proposal, Promposals, light angst, Light Angst, Harley is sad at the beginning, But he gets happy so its okay, Fluff, SO MUCH FLUFF, sweet and cute, Cute, Sweet, short and sweet, Im pretty proud of this one, Even though its short, Mutual Pining, Gay Harley Keener, Bisexual Peter Parker, Boys In Love

Day eleven of Febufluff: "Proposal"!

--

Harley puffs out a long sigh, dragging his feet to his locker. It has been one of the worst days Harley could remember having. He woke up on the wrong side of the bed, and late, so he had to rush to school. He hadnt eaten breakfast because of the aforementioned lateness, so he was starving by lunch time. He realized that he had forgotten to pack a lunch, so he had to buy the cafeterias terrible, cardboard tasting food. He bombed a literature test that he had studied for for days, and he had almost failed a math test on top of that. AND, as if that wasn't bad enough, he noticed that his friends were acting... weird around him all day. They would be talking in their little group, but as soon as he approached them, they'd stop and act like they weren't doing anything. MJ was constantly whispering things to Ned, and Ned to Peter, and they almost seemed like they were avoiding him at times, ducking out of the way as soon as he tried to approach them. He wasn't going to lie, it hurt like a bitch, and he was the entire day wondering what he had done wrong, thinking about the hushed conversations and immediately drawing assumptions. I mean, they had to be talking about him, why would they stop whenever he was around if they weren't?

Peter was the worst of the bunch, and that made Harleys heart ache even more. He was acting jittery all day, nervous, picking at his clothes and his nails, being extra jumpy, and stumbling and stuttering over his words like he used to when they first became friends, almost two years ago. Harley thought they had moved past that awkward stage, had grown and become so much closer in the past two years, especially in the past few months where guys thoughts of Peter went from 'best friend' to more. But Harley must've thought wrong. And it sucks.

So yeah, a terrible, awful day. The only thing keeping him going was that it was friday, and now, that it was the end of this day, so he could go home and not have to deal with any of this shit anymore (minus the fact that he has a mountain of homework to do, but he couldn't handle to even think about that right now, so he doesn't). He puts in his combination, and tries to open the locker, but the lock doesn't budge. Of course, even his locker would fight him today. He just wants to go home. He redoes the combination again, slower, and it opens (thank god). He goes to put his last classes books away when he catches glimpse of a bright pink stick note attached to the inside of his locker door.

'meet us at the chem lab, loser -MJ'

Harley grits his teeth, feeling a flash of irritation swirl in his stomach. What kind of sick joke is this, to avoid him and talk behind his back all day, only to try and meet up with him now?? But the feeling soon disappears, drowning in the pit of despair Harley's found himself in all day, and Harley finds himself shutting his locker, making his way to the specified lab. Because why not, really? What else could go wrong?

Harley doesn't know what he is expected when he pushes the heavy door open, but it sure as hell wasn't this. Right in the middle of the room, stood directly in front of Harley is Peter, Ned and MJ stood on either side of him in some sort of open triangle formation, all three of them wearing the lab safety gear, lab coats, big, goofy goggles, gloves and all. But the thing, the person that catches Harley's attention right away is Peter, it's always Peter, but more specifically, the bouquet of roses in Peter's arms, the shy, anxious smile on his face, and the poster clutched in his other hand. Harley's reads the words on the big page ('I hope you don't react badly, but I think we have some great Chemistry together. Prom?') and immediately bursts into tears.

Peter's eyes widen in fear, but before he can panic too much, Harley launches into Peter's arms, hugging him tightly as he sobs loud, ugly sounds. Peter embraces him just as tightly, the poster and flowers getting in the way and making it slightly awkward, before coughing slightly. "I-uh- I had- have a speech but uh, I just- are you okay??"

He sounds so worried, and Harley cant help but to laugh loudly, pulling away with the biggest smile on his face, even as tears run down his face. "I'm perfect." He whispers shakily, sniffling and wiping away the snot that starts to run from his nose with his sleeve. "Tell me? Please?"

Peter smiles back lightly, still noticeably worried but mostly relieved, before clearing his throat, his fingers twitching nervously. "Harley Keener, you have been my best friend for two years, 5 months, 13 days aaaand," he squints at the wall over Harleys shoulder. "6 hours ish, but who's keeping count, right?" Harley chuckles a little at that, ignore the tears that are still pooling at his chin and dripping onto his shirt. "And those two years have been some of the best in my life. And lately, I feel like our friendship has grown and evolved into something- something better, something..."

"More." Harkey finished for him, and Peter's doe eyes light up, his lips tilting up higher.

"Yeah, more." He whispers, something looking like hope growing behind his pupils, behind his irises. "So, uh, I was wondering if you maybe not only wanted to go to prom with me, but maybe wanted to go as... my boyfriend?"

Harley feels himself brighten at the words, feels his chest loosen and his heart soar, his body glowing and tingling, and he sobs again, choking out a firm "yes, yes!" before hugging him again, burying his face into Peter's shoulder, the wetness on his face soaking into collar of the lab coat. But its okay, because he can feel Peter's wide grin buried into his neck. He hears his two friend cheering around them, Ned shouting out "I'm so posting that online!" and MJ stating "Finally, you two idiots wont be pining after each other anymore."

Harley just laughs again, and pulls Peter, his prom date, his boyfriend closer, any memory of his bad day fading into oblivion.

[euphoriecs]

11/11/11 tag !!!

thank u sm for tagging me @yikescomma​, @buckaroowrites​ nd @yikeskimi​ !!!

rules: answer 11 questions, write your own 11, tag 11 people !

under the cut bc its a Lotta questions KSKSKSHK

yikescomma’s questions!!

1. what’s your favourite place to write?

oh this is ?? kind of a tough one bc i feel like i never Branched out in my spaces when it comes 2 being productive,, like a lot of my work is done in my bedroom just bc my desk is there and it’s the most convenient,,,, honestly im jus gonna say my favorite place to write would be from . my desk . bc it faces the window :-)

2. which character(s) from your wip(s) is your favourite?

since i only have wtsf confidently worked out ,, i’ll use those ocs !! but i think , quite Honestlie ,,, that wendy is my favorite character !! im rly in love with how she progresses as a person nd also she’s jsut . she gets it u know .

3. what are some inspirations for your wip(s)?

I TALKED ABT THIS BEFORE but b/ts’ hyyh series, my neighborhood, spring day by b/ts are a few inspirations for wtsf !!! 

4. how did you start writing?

my dad got me hooked on reading when i was really really young !! and being able to read abt all these huge worlds nd being given an opportunity 2 fall in love w them rly inspired me to want to write worlds of my own . plus , i watch a lot of different shows nd animes that feed into my daydreams nd sometimes im like ‘yo,,, that was a good daydream,,,,, time 2 story it’ .

5. which of your ocs is most difficult to write?

uHGHHGHGS ARTHUR ...... trying to capture this like . enigmatic feeling while keeping close 2 his reasons for acting That way is actually ,, rly hard?? hes a tough cookie 2 crack but i will crack it .

6. what aesthetic do you associate with your wip(s)?

for wtsf ,,, quiet towns , lonely beaches , sunset nd sunrise ,,, running through the streets ?? 

7. do you like planning?

YEA !! i see it more as like . being able to explore ur wip and what directions it can take nd its also jsut rly helpful to have a solid foundation .

8. what is your favourite quote from your wip(s)?

i pulled this from my drabbles but: “Slow down.” Wendy grabbed Arthur’s wrist, pulling him down to sit on the sand. “This world can’t keep up with you.”

9. do you like to listen to music while you write?

yes and no ?? im very particular to the kind of music im listening to nd more often than not, i write in complete silence ,,, but sometimes i’ll find a song that i feel rly fits the vibe of what im writing nd i just put it on repeat HGSHJK

10. what do you like most about your own writing?

i think i like the descriptive aspects of it ?? like how i describe places nd feelings ,,,, :-) !

11. what are/were/would be your ocs favourite subjects in school?

everyone except piper in wtsf is graduated from high school but ,, wendy liked english class the best bc it was fun nd she got good grades !! rafael definitely loved psychology nd took it at an ap level ,, arthur liked math nd chemistry .. chemistry he liked More bc he got 2 blow stuff up SKKSKSEH and piper likes world history!! tho shes not good at it . but she likes it!!

buckaroowrites’ questions!!

what is your favorite subgenre to write? to read?

i lov urban fantasy and low fantasy JGHDSHGJKS like its my favorite to write nd read bc like .. o heck ?? ghosts nd ghouls nd just overall supernatural stuff irl ?? that’s the way 2 go

if you had to be trapped on a desert island with any of your ocs, who would it be and why?

if i had 2 be trapped on a desert island ...... i’d probably choose rafael . honestlie he just seems like he always knows what’s up nd my chances of survival would increase w him JHGJKSJKS

what is your favorite medium to write?

definitely novels !! its a format i’ve pretty much grown up w and im more comfortable w this medium than any others GHSHJKS but i’d love to explore like ,, screenplays nd see where that takes me

who was your first oc?

HYLLY SHITTTT THIS BRINGS ME BACK SJHJHJGJKS i used to draw a lot back when i was younger nd so i had this oc JHJS his name was ian and he was meant for the maximum ride universe but he was a dumb dude who was 2% cat . nd he had an adopted sister ,, i forgot her name but she was part bird .

what was your first wip about?

world end club is supposed 2 be abt a group of teens who work together 2 take down a corporation that wants 2 essentially control the artificial island they live on thru engineered soldiers . ITS A CONCEPT ,, nd it requires a little Too Much for my one brain cell to think abt

thoughts on shakespeare?

uhhh no thots bc i never read his work in high school i jus know macbeth is cursed .... wow i rly dont know anything abt shakespeare huh .

poetry or prose?

o this is TOUGH i rly adore both .......... im gonna . im gonna go w prose . i lvoe poetry so much sometimes there are lines that just rly fucken punch u in the face but im gonna go w prose bc its familiar !!

would you ever co-write a story?

nO ..... i wouldnt b able 2 compromise i’d jus b like oH ACTUALLY SKSKKS MY IDEA’S DUMB LETS JUST DO URS 

write what you want to write or write what you want to read/watch?

oh . fuc .... i feel like its important to have a good balance of both but . honestlie im very partial to what i want to read/watch ..

do you like to write violence?

i dont Like 2 write it but its In My Wips !

what is your favorite trope?

oH ,, probably ‘fire forged friends’ or like . mutual pining ... i have too many favorite tropes nd somehow im gonna incorporate them all .

yikeskimi’s questions!!

Tell us about the main character(s) in your current WIP!

oKAY SO im gonna try to not make this too long SJKHJGS !! wendy is a very like . prickly character . shes like a cactus . nd she’s not too fond of letting ppl get close, but the ppl who do manage to get close to her are happie 2 learn she would actually die for them . loyalty is a Huge Huge part of her character, and she cares very deeply abt the people she calls family . shes also v sarcastic nd like . ‘open ur eyes dummy’ .

arthur is a kind of person who lives heavily on false pretenses . like he projects this image bc its an image that he can control nd he jsut Rolls w it , but hes actually someone who likes 2 tease his friends nd be friendly to them ,, hes got Issuez nd is very much the type of person to be like ‘o lol im ok :-)...’ nd prioritize the needs of others 

rafael is , in all honesty , just babey . he studied a lot during high school nd rly pushed himself beyond his limits bc he wants to be able 2 go 2 a good college on scholarship nd get a job 2 support his family , nd hes just ?? very responsible nd sweet but that can also manifest into him taking on more than he should nd burning out . 

piper is a very ,, honestlie kinda sad character kjHGJSJ she spends a lot of time just trying 2 appeal to other ppl bc she knows her interest in the supernatural make her a ‘weird’ person nd she wants to be able 2 have real friends ,, but when she learns 2 let go of this she’s very silly nd always making jokes During The Right time ..

Do you have an all time favorite OC? Tell us about them!

hMMMM i dont think i do ??? my memory of my ocs is rly bad JHSJ so more often than not i just ,, rip i dont remember them </3

If you could be best friends with one of your OCs, who would it be and why?

ms piper chaiyathan !!!! shes a very open nd kind individual nd i feel like our humor nd joking style would match V v v well !!!

Last line you’ve written in your WIP?

Wendy, unlike her brothers Adam and Nate, had inherited her father’s rough touch, and that made them both unwanted in the high stakes setting of a diner kitchen.

If you have a chosen title for your WIP, were there any titles you considered before it? And if not, what are some titles you’re thinking of?

when the sun falls went through SO many titles nd i actually have them all here: where the sun goes / fever dreams / above the sun / where the sun follows / the drowned sun ... as u can see the sun was smth i Needed .

What is an important element in the world your WIP takes place in?

uHHHH the supernatural element is . Very important but i cant be too specific about it but i will tell u it involves a dead tree on the beach .

Tell us an out of context spoiler.

arthur gets a cool new set of eyes.

Any power couples/ships in your WIP?

wendy nd arthur babey ,,,,,, bat nd molotov cocktail duo ,,,, last name central until the important moment nd THEN they use each other’s first names ..

Any music you like listening to while you write?

uHHHH specifically for wtsf i listen 2 a lot of hozier, lorde, conan gray, khalid nd halsey :-)

What would your main character(s) favorite song be?

oH okay i got this in the BAG ... wendy’s favorite song would Absolutely be work place by hozier or more than sorrow by a-lin ,,, arthur would definitely b listening 2 like . free spirit by khalid .. piper, since she p much spent all of middle school nd 2 years of high school in thailand ,, i think she’

Which character in your WIP could you relate to the most?

honestly? all of them !!! a lot of the characters in wtsf have little bits nd pieces of me bc thats how all my ocs come into existence nd theres no One character thats like “oh,,, das me”

and here are my 11 questions !!

Which one of your OCs do you think could survive a zombie apocalypse? Why?

What’s something you’ve been itching to write about?

Share the last paragraph you wrote!

Do you prefer coming up with plots or characters? Why?

Do you have any abandoned WIPs? Tell us about them!

What are some favorite themes/tropes to write about?

How do you get into the zone for writing?

Tell us a random fact for any of your OCs !!!

Are you someone who needs a visual for your WIPs?

What are some influences to your writing style?

If you had to be a character in one of your WIPs, which WIP would it be and what role would you play?

i’m gonna tag @babyreeds @holotones @alejandroistyping @noloumna @faerisms @omniawrites @aslanwrites @ashesconstellation @thegrievingyoung @glittcrpeach @syposium !!! no pressure to do it if u dont want to tho <3

[brazilianism]

hello im am undocumented immigrant from brazil living in america. i came here as a baby and am now about to turn 18. i have deportation relief (DACA) but with the current political climate i dont think its gonna be of much use any longer. im debating about moving to brazil and living with family, while my parents stay here so they can pay for my education and theyll join me eventually (willingly or not). my grasp on portuguese is good, but i prfer english. i cant afford college here, so i 1/2

2/2 dont see a point if i have no future. im gay and have schizophrenia which is disabling and will put me at a disadvantage, anyway im asking u bc u seem to kno about politics and i wanna kno if the politics in brazil woukd make my life worse than here. i would live in MG if i moved, thanks!”

Alright, ok, that’s like, the hardest question i’ve gotten in here ever, but let’s talk. 

If you really want to move to Brazil for college, you gotta keep some stuff in mind. There are plenty of free universities here, and they’re VERY good. However, because they’re free and a few of the best in the country, they’re really fucking hard to get in as well, especially for more traditional courses like meds or law or engineering (and to a few more other courses that might require structure like filmschool even) etcs. Our system of selection is... messy. They don’t really take into account what you’ve done in high school. It’s a test, a bit like a SAT but only once a year and different in every college. Most of the public ones now take ENEM that is like, our SAT, our national thing, but quite a few still have their own tests (private universities generally have their own tests but will also take in ENEM results as a subscription at some point of the year). The public ones that have their own tests often separate them into two parts: first part is about 90 multiple choice questions in every area (we’ll talk about this in a bit), and if you get the minimum amount of those right you get on for a second part a couple of months later: 3-4 days of written questions in all areas again (but with different weights) and a writing task, generally a dissertation, and depending on your career choice, an “abilities test” (like, if you’re pleading for Architecture, they’re gonna test you to see if you can draw a little and that kind of thing). There’s no interviews, with rare rare exceptions in like, a couple of med schools. 

For all the public ones, the areas covered in the tests are Maths, Physics, Chemistry, History, Geography, Portuguese, Biology, English or Spanish (more often, English) and (in some, not all) Philosophy/Sociology. In private universities, it depends for what you’re applying and on the institution, but there’s also always a written task required and multiple choice questions. I’m saying all of this because... You’d likely need to move and then go through a year or more of prep courses here to get into universities if you want a public one or if you’re in for a harder career on private ones, and that’s a cost to consider. 

Now, regarding politics... While we are experiencing a bit of a conservative wave, I don’t think we’re all set on a path that would affect you as a member of the lgbt community. There sure are VERY prejudiced politicians, and some of them will sure be running for president next year, but I still don’t think they have the necessary strength to win. Of couse, it COULD happen, since Trump happened, but I don’t think it will. Of couse, I gotta say, homophobia is still a very real problem and we get cases like kids getting beaten to death for being gay still today on the newspapers, one happened I think just last week, but I think you’ll also find quite a welcoming community inside universities (especially if you’re on the... human/art side courses, not... math side courses). So I don’t really think you have to worry about the gay part of that. And neither about schizophrenia. I mean, I don’t know exactly how that affects you, but the only concern I’d have regarding the politics of it is that the government was cutting expenses on the public healthcare system, so maybe it’ll be harder to get free medication or free therapy than it’s been these past years, but it’s still probably gonna be possible and I suppose you have to pay for any of that in the US already, right? But otherwise I don’t think there are any regulations or weird ass norms to keep you out of college or of doing anything here because of either of those things, nor I think there will be any soon, if you’re worried. mAN I don’t know if I helped at all??? I guess what i’m saying is I only think you have to worry about getting into a university here, the rest will be ok, in my humble opinion. And ofc, if you have any other questions at all about university entrance or politics or the country or whatever, my askbox is always open

[carbonargonlithium]

The short version of this is: recognizing your weaknesses, and tackling them, is arguably more important than recognizing your strengths.

As a side note: before you decide to downsize from two computers to one (from one for work/travel and one for home, down to one for work/travel that you actually mostly leave at work) be REALLY sure that you’re not gonna decide randomly at 9pm to type a blog post and realize you only have your iPad, which does not (currently) have a real keyboard. Guess I know what I want for Christmas (but mom, or grandma, or Joe (lol he never reads my blog posts), if you’re reading this, make sure it’s a nice quality one, and it compatible with the apple iPad pro 2017 model, 10.7in. I’ll try and put a few on my amazon wishlist.)

But, luckily, I don’t live alone! My love, who is currently doing an online class using his desktop, let me use his Surface, which does have a really nice keyboard. So alas, here we are, at 9pm on a Tuesday, writing a blog post.

So, really, the words I wrote (in my “journal” aka my notability document for this week) that really inspired me to write this hopefully eventually motivational post were; “You’re not actually stupid.” And just to summarize where that came from real quick: I’m a scientist, a physical chemist, who has to deal with LOTS of quantum chemistry and quantum mechanics, and I’m not…..a math person. I’m CAPABLE of it, don’t get me wrong, but it takes me a long time, and a lot of effort and working through it six ways before I understand it. English (if you believe it) and history? Had those in the bag. Chemistry? Literal blow off class in high school, loved it in college. Biology? Ehh okay that one was just….not my friend. Math? Well, lets just say that what Florida State passes off as a math minor does NOT cut it for my line of work. And that’s okay. I gotta learn it, but I also gotta go through some self doubt to get there. And that’s okay.

[if you’re like...real real sensitive to death, this paragraph may feel realllllllllly harsh and cold, but it’s just how i’ve been coping and also, how I feel like my grandpa would want me to be coping tbh, carry on] Okay now, I’m gonna blame my Grandpa Thane for like a solid half of why Quantum is probably so hard for me. And that’s okay, I can do that, he won’t mind. He’d laugh and tell me “okay yeah sure Carli”. God I miss that laugh. Anyway. He went ahead and died right in the middle of my last semester of undergrad, which also happened to be the semester I was traveling a ton and taking Quantum. So on top of being busy af, I had to deal with a very strong emotion I’d never dealt on this scale before: grief. So it’s probably safe to say that my memories of undergraduate quantum could definitely be better.

But I passed the class, okay? I got through it, and I got through Statistical Mechanics last semester which was also a very heavy maths-based physical chemistry class, and I’m going to get through this Quantum chemistry class because I know that it’s going to be hard. I know how to ask for help, how to identify what people are going to be the most helpful for me, and I know how to study my ass off. And I’ve learned all these skills through a laborious process of becoming a professional scientist despite being mentally ill, and also, because I knew I had weaknesses, acknowledged them, and got help.

I tutored first generation students while I was at FSU (I was one too, consequently) and I can say that hands down, the reason that students ended up struggling as much as they did is that they waited too long to ask for help. Now, whether that was lack of knowledge, or shame, or fear, I can’t be sure. But I can promise you, students who asked for help as soon as they realized they were struggling were the ones who were ultimately successful. Additionally, students who were even more successful were those who knew what kind of help they needed. If they knew it was math or algebra they were struggling with, they told me. If they knew it was question comprehension, we worked on looking for keywords and finding example problems they’d already done. The most effective learners are not people who just seem to magically know everything, they’re people who understand what it is going to take for the information to get effectively encoded, and go through whatever process that may take.

Now, maybe someday I’ll actually have time to read psychology literature again, and I’ll be able to give sources and all kinds of goodies to my information, but for now, take it as firsthand knowledge; asking for help is 99% proven to help you understand something better. I’m going to reserve the 1% for really awful instructors and tutors who just...cant communicate their knowledge effectively, but that’s on them, not you.

So here’s CJ’s sleepy guide to how to be a better student

TAKE NOTES. Even if you think it’s not necessary, take notes. Pay attention, write things down, because sometimes you hear things and it makes sense, and when you try to write it on paper or rephrase it you’re like….wait hold on.

BE KIND TO YOURSELF. Not everyone understands everything immediately. And that’s okay. Brains are incredibly complex and literally no two human brains are identical. Epigentetics, nature vs nurture, it all makes sure that your brain is unique, and will have its own unique strengths and weaknesses.

IDENTIFY WHAT KIND OF LEARNER YOU ARE. I’m an auditory learner. If someone walks me through something, step by step, talking out loud while I write, I learn it immediately. I’m not visual at all. I only got through biochem because some friends helped me make a (0,1) binary-esque verbal code for how sugars were oriented. But if you learn by working through something, or drawing a picture, great! Know that about yourself and take that with you when you ask for help.

TIME MANAGE. Keep a planner, or a journal, or a calendar, or even just use your phone calendar. Plan your time effectively, but not strictly. Use pomodoro timers if you want (25 minutes work, 5 minutes break). I also sometimes play “0’s and 5’s” with myself, wherein, if I get distracted, I can stay distracted until the clock hits a 0 or a 5, and then I have to get back to work. If you’re someone who has to cut yourself off from everything, that’s okay. Learn what is going to help you be the most effective, and don’t EVER wait til the last minute to do something unless you absolutely have to. My goal is to always be a minimum 2-days ahead on school work, but I feel much more comfortable if it’s a week.

ASK FOR HELP. Find your weaknesses. Learn the stuff you can on your own, and then figure out what has you confused. Go to a tutor, or your professor, or a TA. And if the first one you ask doesn’t seem to be able to help you, ask another one. Ask friends who understand what you don’t. Don’t be afraid. You aren’t stupid. There are things you can do that no one else can do as easily, and someone will probably need your help there at some point in time too. Just….it’s okay to feel down about having a hard time, but remember rule #2 and remind yourself you aren’t actually stupid, you just haven’t asked the right question of the right person yet.

That’s all I have for now. I have so much in my head that might eventually be useful to someone, and that’s part of why I write this. Whether it’s useful because it helps people understand themselves, or if it’s because it helps them pass a test, I don’t care. I just needed a place to put these sorts of things, so alas, here we are. Blog post 3. Maybe eventually this class will end and I can go to bed, because boy has this been a long week already. And it’s only Tuesday.