#cant even sit down
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plasmamembranes · 10 months ago
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I am being urged to get on medication but the thing about that is doctors love to put me on cocktails of multiple meds at once. the last time I was taking medicine I was literally on Lamictal, Risperdal, trazodone, Buspirone, and one other one, I always get it mixed up but I think it was seroquel. I think that's just too fucking much?? I don't think I'm THAT nuts??? and there's never any easing into it, I'm handed all of them at once and told to get started. and any objections or questions are dismissed. what's wrong with starting out with like one or two. and do I really need a fucking antipsychotic?
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fascinationstreetmp3 · 3 months ago
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I have what you're looking for. High quality. Befitting a man of my tastes. I have a room over on Divisadero, not too far a walk.
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dykedvonte · 29 days ago
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I genuinely don't think Curly would be as caring for Jimmy as some people depict him in aus where Jimmy gets stuck and burned rather than Curly.
I feel like the realization would truly hit in that moment of what Jimmy did and how bad it was as Curly desperately tries to get him out of the cockpit. He's trying to break in to save Jimmy, but is he? All the thoughts in his head; Jimmy's trying to kill them all, Jimmy's trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy raped Anya, Jimmy's going to die trapped in the cockpit, Jimmy trying to kill them all because of what he did to Anya, and sort of a final Jimmy did this. Is he trying to save him or trying to figure out why? Trying to finally make him take accountability? You can't hold trial for a dead man. Does he want Jimmy to die? Not really, but it'd be easier than figuring out where they go after this. After they drag him out and get his set up in medical and Jimmy refuses to look at anyone but him.
He's the only one who is truly willing to care for Jimmy. I don't think he's keeping him alive for the same reasons, just he can't bring himself to put him down. He wants answers, he wants to be mad. This is the first time he can talk to Jimmy and not have anything spun back at him but he can't get a response. He's never really been able to but for the first time Jimmy actually has to listen and he'll never know if he's actually listening to him this time. It reminds him too much of not understanding Anya. Anya has to care for him and he doesn't want her too, she shouldn't have to but they can't just let him die, can they? Should they? It's easier than hearing him in pain but that's a reminder he did this... even if Curly allowed it to happen.
No one seems to have thoughts on it but him and Anya. They know the reason he crashed the ship but they don't get the logic. Anya does actually, but Curly has to admit he does to. Has to admit he's always known Jimmy's logic behind things, things that need to be "fixed" but he's always taken responsibility and fixed it himself. The first time he really let Jimmy take responsibility and he couldn't, he can't fix anything and Curly know he can't either. He looks at Jimmy and sees every mistake but now he's wondering how many of Jimmy's he's been tacking on to his own. How different are they?
What should he had done to stop it? Maybe this should've happened to him...
Curly doesn't like those thoughts and how they only come when he's stuck with Jimmy, like he's always done to himself. He's way too gentle when he gives Jimmy his pills, too mindful of teeth that always gave him hollow smiles. A tongue that always told half truths, while he held his own. He holds his jaw too kindly and thinks about all the times he's clenched his and smiled for his friends sake. For Jimmy's sake. Jimmy still swallows the pills and struggles, whines like it's not his fault.
He hoped it hurt.
And he's a little scared that he's a little too okay thinking that.
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anonymouscheeses · 7 months ago
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Frame redrawn! Or whatever it's called 😭
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First my wifeee 💜💜 she's so bigger body coded it's not funny grr lmao idk uhh her eye is pinker and obviously the ears, well, exist. Also eyepatch cuz... eyepatch. Yeah. She's my wife u guys... so real so fr fr 🗣🔥
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Made him actually black 💀 I'm sorry it felt sooo wrong to give him his canon skin tone it disturbs me.... he has a tie cuz he would wear tie over bow I jst know it. Snout! Cuz deer. I'll probably change his ear placement like, give back his top ears and give him human ones buttt not sure... I hate drawing his hair it's so goofy brutha eugh
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LOTTERALY ME U GUYS RARARAHAHEIIREM8S UHHHH idk why I gave her pure black pupils but like I will. Forever. I gave her snout too but like. In a more. Snout way. Yknow??? She's so goofy I love her smm we are the sam.e red cheek thinfs r pink now cuz I think it looks better idk. Goat ears. Cuz goat ears. She's so goat coded it hurts. Just. JUST MAKE HER GOAT RAAHHH
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canon-gabriel-quotes · 9 months ago
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Transcript:
Oh my gosh.
Thank you so much for- for meeting up with me.
Really- I'm really looking forward to- to this evening. I haven't been able to get out a lot lately.
Been, well hah you know how it is. So busy.
Yeah... But you know it's just nice to spend time with people um, and go out and do stuff, ya know?
I mean there's a whole city here, but works been kinda tight um, so I don't- so I don't have a lot of money. So you can buy tonight, right?
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skitskatdacat63 · 1 year ago
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Fernando Chair Lore: 2013 edition(no lore, just pics haha):
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lilpuffyart · 5 months ago
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Bonus art doodles I forgot to post yesterday
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spearxwind · 1 year ago
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Whole gang's here :]
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hammill-goes-fogwalking · 8 months ago
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I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI. I HATE AI.
#not dislike. its hate#it made me cry several times today#thinking of how my classmates manipulate our teachers#and chatgpt AIs can EVERYTHING#its so painful to think of it#today I broke down in the bus and cried#idc what people think. hiding my feelings any longer would destroy me from the inside#maybe youve also seen how people use freakin AIs in their exams#the thing is that:#we wrote an exam for which Ive studies for like 2 whole days#this week we finally got the exams back (w the grades ofc)#and ok Ive got a 3 (C in America syste#*m)#my friends who used chatgpt throughout the exam got way better grades (I didnt expect it otherwise)#PLUS#the most provocating messages from the teacher:#“10/10 POINTS :)” “YOURE ROCKING THIS” “YEAH”#💔#seriously#this breaks my heart#dont the teacher see something suspect in the exam?!#why cant they open their eyes and get modernized to reality.#& they KNOW- the students Im talking of. they usally have bad results.#once our teacher came to a chatgpt student and said the most miserable thing:#“youve been using duolingo a lot lately hm? thats where your nice grades come from 😉🥰”#you get it?#no- this peoson didnt learn.#no- this person isnt even interested in the stuff we learn in lessons#AWFUL feeling to hear the praisings of da teachers when *I* gotta sit among the gpt-students and look like Im a worse student than *them*#[writing this at almost 1 at night] still have some tears. this topic really has the power to destroy someones day. 💔💔
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steaksex · 2 months ago
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do yuo think someone could hypnotize me to piss myself on command. hypothetical question about the nature of hypnosis
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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 1 year ago
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Hey do you think ya can explain Barnaby and his illusion smoke a bit? It seems really cool and I don't remember if ya talked about it in depth before
sure! this got a bit longer than i expected!
so i was thinking that Barnaby seems like more of a hands-off kinda guy when it comes to altercations. would rather sit back and make funny commentary! so if he Had to get involved, i imagine it would be from a distance and still in an Entertaining Way!
thus - illusion magic! for this au i've been picturing that he got his paws on some illusionary herb in his early teens. for making people laugh, you know! and help out with the farm - illusions could distract animals, convince them to move on to different pastures, calm the chickens for egg-collecting, etc!
Ms. Beagle didn't really approve, since smoking is harmful, but lucky for the both of them this particular plant doesn't deal as much damage when smoked as normal smoking materials would - like tobacco! something to do with the magic properties! so Barnaby mostly used it for chores (when his mama wasn't paying attention, ofc - it's still a bad habit in her eyes) and entertainment purposes.
how it works: on its own, it doesn't do much when burned. it's not like illusions will waft out of the pipe's bowl, or that sniffing it will give someone hallucinations. in order for it to work properly, the user has to inhale properly, form the Intent of what the illusion should be / look like / behave, then purposefully blow the smoke out with that thought firmly in mind. the reach of the smoke depends on the force of Intent, and the intensity depends on the amount inhaled. those that breathe it in / are surrounded by it will see hallucinations of whatever Barnaby - or whoever the user is - wants them to! it can be literally anything! whether or not the target is fooled depends entirely on the individual, but the herb is potent enough that most are convinced that what they "see" is real (auditory hallucinations only occur if the target breathes in the smoke)
upsides: this form of magic is great for distractions, cover, deescalation, and that kind of thing. if needed, Barnaby could stop a fight with one exhale! it's a pretty powerful trick! it also means that Barnaby has built up a tolerance to illusion magic over the years, so where most of the party would be tricked, Barnaby would be unfazed. the only one with total immunity to the form of magic is Wally!
downsides: if Barnaby uses too much in too short of a time, it will get to him. and since he breathes in the largest amount - undiluted at that - it can fuck him up! using it sparingly / using repeated small amounts doesn't do anything. the most it will do is make him feel slightly untethered, but he has an easy time ignoring it / shaking it off.
in mild cases of the magic getting to him, it's like a bad trip. his proprioception is messed with (basically he gets uncharacteristically clumsy & off-balance), he feels like he's falling, anxiety spikes, and his vision is just... off! there are blind spots (im talking actual blind spots, not spots of black), things are moving in ways that they shouldn't, he has mild auditory hallucinations. the others can help ground him by talking to him, touching him, and confirming what's real and what isn't.
in bad cases, it's like that but 10 times worse. on top of all of the previous symptoms being worsened, he gets extremely vivid hallucinations, and they're very often not fun! it's a simultaneous feeling of dying, going insane, and not knowing what the fuck is going on. Barnaby loses sense of where he is, who's where, what's happening. he can get lost in the hallucinations - he has no way to know that they aren't real. in these terrible trips, no one can really help him. they can't get through the hallucinations, and if they do, the magic morphs Barnaby's perception of them and they end up adding to the effects. honestly the best thing for him is to let him rest somewhere with as little sensory input as possible & leave him be until he starts to come down. physical contact does help, since Barnaby understands on an instinctive level that illusions can't touch him, but it doesn't help half as much as it does w/ the mild trips. and again, the presence of someone can make the hallucinations worse.
so! suffice to say! he doesn't like using the herb all that often, and it's why he Stays Out Of It unless absolutely needed. he has two pouches of the herb - one with the strong stuff, reserved for emergencies / one with just a tiny bit of it mixed in with Barnaby's own personal blend for recreational/everyday use. (he also has an emergency tobacco stash in his pack, but that's only for when he's completely out of his usual blend <3)
extra lil scribble that didn't make it into the lil doodle post... i broke his wrist...
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#the undiluted one is the blue/purple/pink smoke#while the personal blend changes color depending on his mood#and the personal blend does Not cause illusions!#the herb is included in the blend for cosmetic effects - colorful smoke! - and it has calming affects#so its. yeah its rgb weed last person nailed it on the head#rambles from the bog#wh fantasy au#the other day i was thinking about howdy's first adventure with the neighborhood#and i was like 'ok situation where barnaby has to use a tad too much of the magic'#and i amused myself imagining howdy's shock and panic when barnaby - steady graceful barnaby#staggers a little. looks up at the trees/skies. goes 'oh no' and promptly stumbles and falls on his face. and then just does not get back u#he has to go get poppy to make sure he isnt hurt / also howdy would Not be able to half-drag barn back to camp on his own#that dog is dead weight and staggering all over the place - if they can even unstick his claws from where he's anchored himself#sometimes barnaby will feel the unpleasant trip Incoming and he'll just. lie down right there and then#facedown. gripping the grass like his life depends on it - and also whoever's closest#frank always leaps out of the way when barn starts to Sway bc he does not want to sacrifice his arm for a solid few hours#usually wally is the one to sit with him and happily get his arm bones squeezed into dust <3#a common thing is barnaby will be like 'the trees/sky is melting and the ground is turning inside-out'#what does that mean! no one knows! he cant explain it when he sobers up!
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weisbrot · 1 year ago
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dear @wheresurboytonighthelookslikeenj i have decided to add gavroche and azelma to the marius eponine friendship and have them all enjoy (some more than others) a lil studying/bookclub session 😌✨📚📖📔 Hope you enjoy too!! thank you for chosing such fun prompts for me to work on ☺️
Thank you also to the @drinkwithme-exchange mods who did a wonderful job moderating 💛
#drinkwithme2023
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pcktknife · 10 months ago
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i used to be good at art *punches a hole in the wall*
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iknowwhereyousleepatnight · 5 months ago
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i hate doing laundry ough it's The Worst
#not only does leaning down to move my stuff hurt my back#but i have to touch dirty clothes and go into the dirty room and touch the dirty machines and i have to wear 2 pairs of socks (so my#normal socks dont touch the contaminated floor) and when i lean over the washing machine my clothes touch it <-the worst part of it all#tbh. now my current clothes are dirty but i have nothing to change into and i will have to wear them all day and it makes me SICK#and i cannot talk abt how dirty the garage (where the laundry machines are) it makes me nauseous that place kills me if i never#had to go into it ever again i would and i have to carry a laundry basket (dirty) and it touches my clothes when i carry it (disgusting)#and now my clothes are even more dirty and i feel like i cant touch any of my things bc i dont want to infect them but i cant just do#nothing all day when i have to do laundry but it makes me so SICK i need smth to cover all of my clothes but everything i've tried misses#some part and my clothes are ruined and it makes me SICK how am i supposed to do school or draw or anything when it's so bad#i have everything scheduled so i can take a shower and go straight to bed after i'm done but still it's so bad and it stresses me tf out#and i have to do laundry every 3 days because i only have 3 towels to use after showering and even if i did have more towels#i still would have to do laundry as often bc i couldnt handle doing multiple loads or having bigger loads my back couldnt handle that#w the system i have set up now it's just bad it;s all bad i hate doing laundry#i dream of one day where i can do laundry in a better way i think it'd involve not having the washer and dryer down steps bc that's#dangerous for one and for two not having them in a garage bc garages stress me out and three to have smth to cover all of my clothes#and 4 to have machines that dont need me to bend down idk if they have ones like that but it hurts#anyway that's it for listening to dux complain abt smth that ultimately doesnt matter and is only a problem bc their brain#chemistry is off#k bye i have to go do laundry *explodes* and take an exam *explodes* it;s an essay exam *explodes* and then im going#to like sit around feeling sick thumbs up emoji
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lokh · 5 months ago
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having to paint leggings while they're on ur body is so. -_-
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hella1975 · 16 hours ago
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there must be more than blood by car seat headrest is a touya song btw. nervous like a wild dog waiting for the attack. you go back to the old house but you've been locked out and it wasn't for love that you went back home. they had all of your life to get it right they had all of that time just to change their minds. how could they treat you like a forgotten card? dear dad, I'm sorry thank you very much. what difference does it make when they throw you away?
this is like 9/11 to me
#GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY FUCKING INBOX. THIS SONG????? i know i reblogged the art but THIS SONG AIAIA. REALLY#you cant say the words car seat headrest around me. and then touya as well why would you actually even start#I SAW YOU ON THE MAGAZINE COVER WITH YOUR BLUE WIDE EYES READ IT FROM COVER TO COVER LOOKING FOR YOU BUT THESE ARE NOT MY PEOPLE HERE#I THINK YOU KNOW THAT NERVOUS LIKE A WILD DOG WAITING FOR THE ATTACK#I WAS LIVING IN THE DELTA WASTING MOST OF MY TIME YOU KNOW IF I COULD CLOSE THE BLINDS RIGHT I COULD SLEEP ALL THROUGH THE NIGHT#BUT IVE SEEN THE TIDES RISING WHERE ONCE THERE WAS A SHORE#I CAN STILL REMEMBER HOUSES STRIPPED TO THE FLOOR THERE MUST BE MORE THAN BLOOD THAT HOLDS US TOGETHER!!!!!!!!!!!!!#THERE MUST BE MORE THAN WIND THAT TAKES US AWAY THERE MUST BE MORE THAN TEARS WHEN THEY PULL BACK THE CURTAIN#OF THIS MUCH I AM CERTAIN!!!!!!!!!! WHEN YOU'RE DOWN FOR A WHILE TRYING TO GET DRIED OUT YOU FEEL TIME PASS BY BUT YOU DONT LOOK AROUND#YOU WERE PLAYING YOUR MUSIC BUT YOU GOT DROWNED OUT YOU GO BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE BUT YOUVE BEEN LOCKED OUT!!!#AND IT WASNT FOR LOVE THAT YOU WENT BACK HOME!!!! IT WAS THE GUILT IN YOUR THROAT LIKE YOU SWALLOWED A BONE!!!#THEY HAD ALL OF YOUR LIFE TO GET IT RIGHT!!! THEY HAD ALL OF THAT TIME JUST TO CHANGE THEIR MINDS!!!#AND YOURE GRATEFUL FOR THE BUS ITS A PLACE TO SIT DOWN LIKE A SPIDER IN THE WINTER TRYING NOT TO BE FOUND#NO USE TRYING TO HEAL WHEN YOURE GETTING STEPPED ON NO USE SELLING YOUR SOUL WHEN YOURE GETTING PASSED ON#HOW COULD THEY TREAT YOU LIKE A FORGOTTEN CARD?? DEAR DAD IM SORRY! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!#WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE WHEN THEY THROW YOU AWAY IS ANYBODY EVER GONNA HEAR WHAT YOU HAD TO SAY I WAS FLYING ON A REDEYE#MY HAND DROPPED TO THE AISLE I COULD SEE MYSELF CLEARLY FOR THE FIRST TIME IN A WHILE THERE WAS NOTHING BUT LINES#NOTHING BUT OUTLINES MY GUT SANK LIKE A STONE BUT I HEARD ANOTHER VOICE SAY WE ALL WALK ALONE! THERE MUST BE MORE THAN BLOOD!!!!!#ask#touya todoroki
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