#cant do it again not strong enough!!!
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please stop saying that gochujang is korean chili paste and that omurice exists, i'm aware, what i am currently complaining about is that i'm trying to research the earliest recipes for teriyaki sauce/teriyaki as a method of cooking at all and then how they evolved over time into the variations that we have of it today where for most people it exists nearly entirely as a flavor of sauce rather than an actual technique. i am doing this because i am bored and can't sleep and just want to see if i can puzzle out a rough timeline of teriyaki from method-first to sauce-first. i'm also curious if i can pin down whether there's correlations to different variations of the sauce with different regions of america.
therefore, and stay with me here,
i might be really annoyed by AI-generated and plagiarized junk cooking recipe blogs coated in advertisements claiming that their dish is supposed to be an extremely traditional method of preparing teriyaki XYZ, something which would therefore need to go back centuries if it is as accurate as it's claiming,
included ketchup as a main ingredient.
every time a cooking blog tries to convince me their Authentic Traditional Japanese Chicken Dish is authentic but includes fucking ketchup bc theyre too white for gochujang or something makes me uncannily rabid.
#i will admittedly grant you that the gochujang joke probably flew over the heads bc it was a bad contextless joke.#the joke btw was that if youre gonna lie about your recipe being traditional then at least put forth a modicum of effort in seeming it#yknow? also gochujang and teriyaki both seem to have been invented in roughly the same time period#which means that it actually wouldn't be impossible for an extremely early teriyaki sauce to use gochujang in it#though i think itd be pretty unlikely. definitely not a formal ingredient bc of lack of trade during sakoku period#idk yall im the fucker that has put this stupid amount of effort into learning about the history of shoyu#lets just all pray that i don't accidentally stumble upon a miss appleton 2 for teriyaki i think i'd fucking cry#cant do it again not strong enough!!!#but yeah tldr: it is on me to be more clear about these things bc i did phrase it wrong if you aren't Literally Directly In My Brain
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the artblock be hitteth Harder than normal, for tis not normal artblock. woe. Wally be upon ye
#im still So Inconsistent when scribbling him#he never comes out the same way twice#but then again. do any of us?#anyway i think the Misfortune of the past week finally killed my brain#its a tiny smoking poppy seed resting in the middle of my skull floor#too much all at once. cant art anymore#i keep pulling out my tablet and setting up to draw#and then i stare at the screen feeling mild to intense discomfort#i try to scribble. it comes out Horrible.#i put my tablet away and go stand in the middle of the kitchen#i come back to scroll on tumblr#i feel Despair. rinse and repeat#scribble salad#is it distressing? yes! one more to add to the ever-growing pile!#i need to start pre-packing for my inevitable move#sigh... dont wanna go....#but its not like i have a choice! i quite literally have a single option which is to say! no option at all!#apparently if im in a constant state of severe stress for long enough my creativity completely breaks. shattered right down the middle#too exhausted. the Despair is too strong#and once again i am accidentally venting on a scribble post! sorry! please ignore this im just Saying Shit
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A Blorbo You Treat Nicely, Right?
#non mdzs#ask#I've seen what people do to tumblr blorbos. I cant go back in the horse plinko again...please my bones aren't strong enough#I'm made of a gelatin like substance. Very Flammable. Terrible for plinko. Ill just bounce around and wail miserably.#You cannot fool my by putting 'horse' on the box. Yeah It made me curious and wander over here. Yeah I wanna see the horses.#Oh they're in the plinko? Oh well then-#jokes aside I am very touched to have reached silly blorbo status. I hope to keep bringing you joy!#I am simply just having fun and I'm glad people enjoy my little jester dances!#Yeah one of these asks is from June...I'm slowly eating away at the backlog....I promise....#theres so many sweet and funny asks I want to properly draw for...I promise I read them all and go -> B*)
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killer eating food in front of horror as a way to taunt him. duuuude do you see this delectable parfait he has in his hands right now. he just put a spoonful in his mouth. horror is scratching at his own arms right now (trying not to jump this bitchass). killer can't even taste it LMAOOO another bite ‼️ imagine not being able to eat food 🤣🤣🤣 killer can't even taste it and enjoy the food but horror can't even EAT food
then horror grabs the parfait glass out of his hands and oh killer you should probably teleport away before horror does to you what undyne did to his eye
#this SOUNDS mean but this is actually just their daily behavior. average horrorkiller interaction#the nice version of this is that killer eats the foods in place of horror#horror cant eat anymore but at least he gets to see someone else he doesnt mind eat. which is ok for now#however that's only a pipe dream for now we get horrorkiller mauling at eachother like rabid animals#something i like about horrorkiller is that they are NOT evenly matched at all#in kist i feel like dust could win if he gives like 400% but with horrorkiller????#NO DAMN WAY‼️💀 horror gives 400% and then killer just knocks him over again like a badly balanced figure#horror's strong but hes not strong enough to do anything to killer that he wont allow#which is just so funny. horror could have his original eye back and be at full power and killer just pins him down again#also people think that horror would hate killer for what he did in smthnew but it lowkey could be equal#like horror's rambling to killer about all the bullshit that happened in horrortale with queen undick and alphys the betrayer bitch#and then he gets to the part where he tricked snowdin into eating humans#and OBVIOUSLY horror's lying and trying to make himself seem innocent but killer's smarter than that#and after all that horror's just given this quick and barely discernable glance of contempt from killer#like MAN killing everyone is one thing but forcing them to eat humans?? that shit was so bad it made killer FEEL in stage 2 💀#it stings. horror doesnt wanna admit it (because WHY WOULD HE CARE ABOUT KILLERS OPINION!!!) but he's lowkey piiiiissed#its a mood swing but not one of those agressive loud violent ones. nah. horror ghosts killer#not that killer tries to get him to talk to him. he doesnt care enough. plus hes an eeeensy bit mad at horror too for what he did#i WOULD say horror gets over it but from what horrortale's shown he can hold 7 year long grudges. so erm#and thats why horrorkiller woukd never happen everyone! alright thanks for watching that's a wrap#you will never catch me talking about horrorkiller in a romantic way horror is an ARO man!!! he doesnt feel romantic attraction dare i say#and he'd rather die than be attracted to killer in any way anyways. and killer's just there. unlabelled uncaring unknowing king#killer doesn't have a stable sense of identity that just makes it even easier to slap a big ol HE DOES NOT CARE on his forehead#tricule rant#killer sans#horror sans#murder time trio#utmv#sans au#horrorkiller
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the bad: i have been raised without much warmth from my parents in childhood, but also pressured to conform to familial authority, doubt myself always, and value familial connections above all else (<- failed at this, and feel guilt about it.)
but also in experiencing this i have been so isolated from the entire rest of the world and others, that it will be nearly impossible to create my own "family" -> find safety and comfort in anybody else once my family is Gone. despite dis i find it really difficult to break away from the familiar, disobey and disappoint, because, well, why are my wishes more important than anybody else's. why would I cause upset and distress in anybody, and exert so much effort into my doubt filled half decisions, for my meaningless little Wishes. being away would also mean less time with these people who I'll never see again once they're gone. being raised this way is definitely paying off for those who did so.
the good: yaaaay adjacent inspiration for writing talon lore
#talkys#my dad scaring me but also giving me no advice on what to do instead only saying if i do this it will be the wrong choice leading#to more wrong choices well yep you got me i am scared. i am inept. i fear regret and punishment for wrong decisions.#i struggle to make decisions because i cant go back on them.#''ill never have savings again'' and ''you cant value friends over family they'll abandon you''#and ''living here is only a problem for you because you dont communicate. there is a way to work things out''#i wish i could work it out and stay i dont know why i cant work it out ! and what do i want#to leave so badly for... to continue to never have stable housing#never have savings again? be alone and in danger?#to be able to wear whatever i want and...buy things? really? that doesnt seem very worth it#nothing seems very worth it#im miserable here but maybe i'd be more miserable away...it is true#well at least the chances to leave are very slim. and will continue to get slimmer the more time passes.#but maybe its fine i dont want to ruin my life or be even more of a burden or reason for distress in someone else's#moving out wouldnt fix anything. wherever you go there you are.#my friend said i have to be a little selfish (positive) to push myself to leave. bt i dont want to be selfish. im ashamed of that as a trai#delete later#even now i feel immense guilt and stress when my dad does things that hurt or bother me bc i know ill miss him when he's gone.#(and ill have nobody after all of that. due to the being kept in a cage)#that sucks. why does everyone else always win. why am i always the weakest pliable one. i wish i had no emotions#my surgery is the only decision in my life ive been 100% sure on for years#and even then my parent's words had me crying and rapidly changing emotions daily until the day came#im not strong enough or sure enough about anything else to withstand More of that#<- and i know that tomorrow im gonna be like actually you know what who cares lets try to leave#and the next day ill be resigned to staying here forever#and the next day ill be like actually you know what who cares l
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such an unbelievably extreme emotional roller coaster between hearing “there will be line dancing at the event” and realizing that the person ACTUALLY said “there will be lion dancing at the event”
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what the fuck do you mean by this steel wool
#they cant be playing like this again like how they were doing with the guess the sketches#i cant do it again.... im not... strong enough..#pandas.txt#pre hw2 dlc
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Potential Thunderclan deputy candidates!
#watch it be none of these guys lmao#warrior cats#warriors#wc#thunderclan#lionblaze#ivypool#twigbranch#cinderheart#lilyheart#sparkpelt#spotfur#ivy is the obvious fandom favourite choice but im.. hesitant about it#personally my money is otherwise on twig or lily but i would like cinderheart a lot#and sparkpelt deserves something for all the bullshit writing she's put up with this arc#id like spotfur the most but she seems the least likely cause shes never had an apprentice#cant do lionblaze again... im not strong enough... (tho he could be an interesting conflict source maybe possibly idk?)#anyways! i need to redesign lion + twig again sometime bc lion just looks like pissed off brackenfur and i still dont like this twig design
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Shinjiham is cute when it’s romantic but tbh I think i vastly prefer the idea of them being best friends instead. Like, neither of them really saw it coming and weren’t really looking to get another best friend (Shinji has Akihiko, Kotone has Junpei and Yukari respectively) but it happens anyway. Kotone takes a liking to Shinji much faster than she does anyone else and I’d say a big reason is just the fact that he’s so reserved that it allows Kotone to do most of the talking while he just listens and they love this arrangement cuz Kotone doesn’t get to talk about her own interests very much. Though I think some of her needs to talk to Shinji stems from this insecurity that he isn’t happy in the group and she has this people pleasing problem and wants everyone to be happy so she makes a much bigger effort to talk to Shinji. And it’s very unfortunate because Shinji intentionally acts cold and distant because he doesn’t want to form any attachments because he wants to die soon, but aaaaaaaagh dammit this girl just keeps talking to him and being sweet and encouraging him to engage in his interests and share them with the others and he just can’t seem to say no when she’s got those damn puppy eyes. And Kotone is just able to get him out of his shell by being persistent but not in an overwhelming way, she’s very cheerful and supportive of him. And Shinji is able to offer her support by encouraging her to talk about herself and by making sure she’s taking care of herself. They just click really well and make such a positive dent in each other’s lives and it’s all about basic acts of kindness going a long way you know?
#persona#persona 3#kotone shiomi#shinjiro aragaki#i uh. probably didnt do much here to prove that their relationship is best when its platonic akjsks i mean idk how to convey it#that these two are just so good for each other but that im just not feeling it romantically#and why should i honestly like cant a guy and a girl just be platonic soulmates like me and jackie aljsks#plus i just have other ships with these characters i like better ahem akishinji and mitsuham yall already know#and i just feel really comforted by their relationship being best friends cuz it makes the pocket watch a lot more power of friendship#and it just. irks me the idea that its romantic love that saves shinji and its romantic love that gave him a will to live#cuz first off you can save him without romancing him and also like if you think kotone is the only person he wants to live for#youre just wrong like in fact its very clear in his social link that he feels this strong love for everyone#its literally like why other characters are so ingrained into his link he loves everyone and they love him back#its just kotone who organizes the time for them all to get together plus like idk when ppl say shinji only wants to live after romancing#kotone its like. well hes not gonna have a good time post coma then huh#and i suppose the point being made is he has to learn to live even if his gf isnt there but again like. shes not the only thing he has#idk i just hate this like pedestal romantic relationships are put on and i hate the implications that like#akihiko has been trying for years to protect shinji and his love doesnt matter cuz it isnt some heterosexual romance#grrrrr it just irks me is all and yeah i just think theyre besties who do everything together#kotone is like shinjis emotional support animal that guides him through the scary crowds and shinji is off putting enough to scare away the#meanies that come their way and they have a dress up montage and make cookies
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me seeing the pjo fandom talking about liper again
#i cant do it again im not strong enough#but the way my love for liper can be traced back to the very inception of this blog#pjo
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hyv: releases pink foxian male
my sleep deprives ass delulu ass: .... ERI!?!?!
#NO BECAUSE CHAT YOU SEE IT TO RIGHT.#LIKE THATS MY SON RIGHT THERE#*crumples to a ball of dust*#i cant do this anymore#please I'm not strong enough#hyv not again#I CANT GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN#I CANT DO THIS AGAIN PLEASE#hsr#hsr related#dean rambles
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ssssoooort of tempted to start up a mineblr community discord. itd be 18+ only but no nsfw obviously
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im dreading all of the mods that are gonna do terrible things to lucanis tho
#💾#do NOT smooth him out or give him a haircut i beg. i cant handle it#leave my husband aloneeeee#yall put me thru hell with gale i cant do it again im not strong enough#and the second i see any complexion edits that make him pale im killing you all with hammers
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one thing thats really fun about the current jaiden sus situation is that like... cucurucho is winning here. maybe.
jaiden is unintentionally succeeding where cellbit failed. cellbit didnt want people to trust him but most people immediately clocked he hadnt actually betrayed them. They stuck together and worked it out the whole community became stronger because of it
And jaiden is being completely honest and people arent trusting her. she’s in the perfect position to cause that fracture. They dont know her as well, she’s grieving (and grieving parents have been proven to do horrible things), and it seems like she’s just retreading the same road thats failed them so many times.
it’s all just ! people are having trouble agreeing on what to do about her. there’s something So Tasty about a narrative where the isolated causes others to isolate themselves.
i love cucurucho. its doing the same thing and expecting different results but this time its RIGHT
#qsmp#SUCH a fun story i am chewing on the narrative like a feral beagle#they have reason not to trust her#they have reason to be lenient#everyone is doing their best but maybe it wont be enough and that makes the storyteller nerd inside my heart Very happy#i hope they figure it out and canwork together again but id be lying if i said i didnt like the opportunity for some of these characters#to just start being absolutely awful#theyve gone through so much and been so strong but they cant stay strong forever#eventually they start to crack....#(and then you can fill the cracks with gold with a Delicious redemption/healing arc)
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i actually have a hard time understanding childe's character and is mostly because of other people's takes + im like so scared of mischaracterizing him
#like when ppl where saying he doesnt kill and people were calling that mischaracterisation#and then they turned around and called him a sociopath who doesnt care about others (sooo not true its painful)#its not that its a middle ground- both versions are just. not him#i think childe kills not because he's some homicidal maniac but because its his duty to the tsaritsa#and while he does not do it on text from my pov is like heavily implied? yk? her majestys weapon?? feared in battle?#but the word duty is important#i think childe wants to be good- more than anything#he wants to be a good brother and a good son and a good comrade#and being a harbinger is what has allowed him to do so#being her majesty's weapon is both a prision and liberty for him#he can take care of his family. he can find strong opponents. he can gain strength.#he cant make meaningful connections with others. he cant always do the work he wants to do. he cant (always) be the good guy#last part is the most important to me. its clear during liyue he didn't enjoy putting innocents at risk#but he does so anyway- out of duty#and here is My Interpretation: childe knows his position and knows it will force him to hurt others#which he doesnt enjoy#and to cope with that he seems to have convinced himself that if he only hurts those who are bad then it means he himself is not bad#for childe that is enough. except we know it isnt#the fatui is a deeply unethical organization- even if their goals are pure their means arent and we know that#childe thinks that separating himself from his coworkers and just trying to hurt those who he (or the fatui) deems as bad is enough#but it isnt enough ! because he still is contributing to said organization- he is by extenction enabling their unethical actions#he isnt good#and thats what i love about him#him not killing wouldnt make sense because then what is his internal struggle? why is then that the older members of his family hold +#so much contempt for him#if he were just a silly malewife who just likes to battle - why would his father have sent him to the fatui in the first place#along the same vein him enjoying killing and finding no issue with it wouldnt make sense either#because again then where is the conflict- by several voicelines is clear childe doesnt care much about himself / has a low self esteem#childe knows whats right and whats wrong and he knows that what he is and what he does isnt right#yet he still does it. out of naivety or (and i like this answer more) duty
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also checked trigger's studio history because i couldnt remember if they made punch line or not (they did not! it was mappa), saw the new panty and stocking project tba and felt an all encompassing wave of dread fall over meeee
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