#cant believe you wanna be with me forever. fucking wild

[birdclowns]

you're perfect, i love you @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut. happy first anniversary<3

[puppmeo]

Have you ever been assumed to be romantically attracted to someone and even just the thought of that makes you want to throw up . Anybody

[trickstarbrave]

WIP Whenever

hiiiii i got tagged by @boethiahspillowbook

this is what i got so far on the azura and nerevar piece. not much further bc im still trying to figure out shading and how i want it to be. oof. also unsure abt azura's halo fsr it just looks.... off on her. and i think i wanna make some of the blood a brighter red to tie in together with all the rest of the red. lots of things im considering...

also for written wips. uh.

unfortunately i only have the. fucking cursed omegaverse nerevoryn im working on. once again never consider anything as like a joke or ironically that is the devil talking and you will start doing things for real.

in my defense though omegaverse is such a wild concept that trying to go "okay but seriously how would this work in a society and why would it be this way" is actually entertaining. very fun to go "yes, and...." over and over. oh, fated mates exist? what if they weren't just a cheesy soulmates thing but had a logical explanation. how would these dynamics effect various social classes? how would different cultures be effected? i have world builder's disease clearly

ALSO i tag anyone who hasnt been tagged yet and wants to :> i cant keep up with which of my mutuals have been tagged or not.... let me see ur ideas pls

--

“... In all honesty,” The healer began, sounding exacerbated, “I have never seen a case like this in all my years. But there is only one answer I can come to based on everything else.”

“Go on.” Nerevar tried to keep his voice level rather than annoyed. Azura knows how terrified most people got when he was angry. 

The healer pinched the bridge of her nose. 

“How familiar are you with fated mates?” At her question, Nerevar froze, stunned, before he gave a loud bark of laughter. The healer, however, did not laugh or smile back, and instead only looked more resolute. 

“... Be serious with me.” 

“I am being serious, Lord Nerevar.” 

“Are you--are you seriously trying to say Voryn is my--”

“I understand how strange it sounds at first.” The healer cut him off. “Typically when someone meets their fated mate they determine it quickly. It only takes a few heat or rut cycles before the draw is undeniable.” She sighed once again. “I can only assume because you knew Lord Dagoth before either of you presented, the draw was less noticeable.” 

It kind of made sense, to a degree. When people wrote about fated mates it was usually that they had a scent that was undeniable. Even passing by them on the street, you couldn’t get the scent out of your head for days on end, trying to find it again and again. Even those who tried to deny it couldn’t refuse the pull forever; heats and ruts were unbearable, the longing overwhelming the pair. No one had ever recorded an account of a fated pair who knew each other prior to presenting though; fated mates were absurdly rare, after all. They were more common in fiction than real life, and only the most hopeless of romantics ever went out actually looking for one. Most people just found a mate they liked rather than chase after some destined person, and why fated mates even existed was a mystery. Did everyone have one but distance kept them from finding one? That didn’t seem likely; the most common belief was that some people were born with them--not many members of the population, anyways--and even fewer actually found their ‘other half’. Someone meeting a fated mate before presenting, when you were children not off exploring the wider world yet, was even more unlikely. How would you react if you could constantly smell and see them before either of you presented?

Dumac told him the dwemer scholars believed it had something to do with ‘reproductive compatibility’. Not that it was a mystical, god given connection like some believed, but rather those with a fated partner were less compatible with most of the population, so when they did find someone they could produce children with easily, the desire to mate was enhanced strongly. Nerevar didn’t know if he liked that explanation either though. He found the ideas the gods made destined partners to love each other forever as too romantic of an idea for reality yes, but presuming there must be something wrong with them wasn’t much better. 

It didn’t seem likely that he and Voryn could just ignore the draw for decades though, right? Surely that wouldn’t be possible. The draw was supposed to be strong, impossible to deny past a certain point.

Sure, when he was younger and Voryn was in a rut he always came by to check on him before he was shooed away, but that was just boredom. And when he was in heat Voryn would pass him notes under the door from time to time that he’d bury in the nests he made, but that was just because being in heat made him feel sensitive and sappy. Nothing more. And shouldn’t there be something more if they were a fated pair?

“Your other symptoms make me more certain of it.” The healer continued, pulling him from his thoughts.

“How so?” Nerevar raised an eyebrow. 

“It isn’t healthy for an unmated omega to be around an alpha in rut.” She replied, a fact that always made Nerevar roll his eyes. “It causes excess stress, even if it doesn’t trigger a heat. Unless you are drawn to the alpha in question as a potential partner, usually a rut is off putting, distressing, or nauseating for an unmated omega.”

“They’ve never bothered me to that extent.” Nerevar snarked.

“Precisely.” She locked eyes with him. “You handle it more akin to an omega who’s already been mated, despite not having the scent of one.” Nerevar tensed at that. He hadn’t thought of it like that in the slightest; why would he? He wasn’t mated. Anyone could smell on him that he wasn’t. “Those who have met a fated partner experience mated behaviors before the bond is even set. Rejecting other suitors, unbothered by others in a heat or rut,” She sighed. “Lord Vivec even explained you are giving off the same scent as a bonded omega whose mate is absent.” Nerevar’s cheeks flushed at that. 

“That’s--” Nerevar tensed slightly, “I wouldn’t go that far.” Surely Nerevar wasn’t. He wasn’t fucking bonded, why would he be throwing out the same scent as an omega who went into heat, begging for their mate to come tend to them? 

“You are.” She asserted, though she did have some sympathy in her gaze at least. “Unfortunately, the best I can do is, if you truly don’t want the bond, I can give you suppressants. They won’t actively stop it given you already went into heat, but they should calm some of the worst side effects.” Nerevar already knew what she was going to say next though. “But your next one will be much of the same. The side effects will continue to worsen.” Short of running away to the other side of the continent and burning anything he owned that Voryn had ever so much as touched, he would be able to smell Voryn faintly, after all. In the palace, on his belongings, anywhere Voryn had been might trigger the worst of the symptoms all over again now that he had a heat triggered by his rut no doubt. 

“At the very least, Lord Dagoth is in control of his emotions.” Voryn’s eyebrow twitched at that, his arms tightening. “You can spent ruts and heats together without actually mating, until you come to a decision on how to proceed. It should alleviate both of your struggles.” 

Shit, Nerevar hadn’t even considered what Voryn must be going through. Was his irritation and lack of eating because he subconsciously knew Nerevar was supposed to be his but wasn’t there by his side? When he was younger was that out of character, violent rage because he knew, right there in the stronghold, his mate was being kept from him? No doubt the next rut Voryn would be uncontrollable; before he could hold back because he wasn’t consciously aware of what he wanted, but now that he knew it was Nerevar… 

[hotgirlstiles]

What do you consider essential sterek songs? 💓

OHHHH MY GOD I JUST WENT CRAZY. OJAY!! OKAY:

in my room by frank ocean is THEEE one. i heard this song and instantly i was like i NEED to make a sterek playlist. like she started it all!!!

(also mind you i have 8. EIGHT. playlists for sterek. this might be a little long 🥲😂😅🤣)

BITE ME by kilo kish. just listen to it

home with you by fka twigs DUHHHHH.

seigfried by frank ocean of course. the markings on your surface. your speckled face. i just am a firm believer of derek hale who listens to frank ocean

closer by nine inch nails. It should be in everyones sterek playlist tbh

old money by lana del rey. i love my boyfriend by princess chelsea. NOTHING’S GONNA HURT YOU BABY BY CIGARETTES AFTER SEX. NO EXPLAIANTION NEEDED!!!!

angel by massive attack!!! this is specifically dark derek to me.. ouhhh

YALL THIUGHT I WAS DONE. IM NOT. THATS JUST ONE PLAYLIST.. i have sooo many essential songs for sterek uts drastic

i go to sleep by the kinks as well.. this is just sooo derekpov to me..the lyrics are just so fucking devastating to me... can also be applied to s5 stiles ohgod my tummy hurts

now this is the most important song i think. i bet yall were wondering why i havent even said it yet.. please, please, please let me get what i want by the smiths. or the one by deftones. both just scream DEREK ABOUT STILES so bad !!!! AND ALSO BACK TO THE OLD HOUSE BY THE SMITHS AGHHHHHHH THEEEEE DEREKPOVS ABOUT STILES SONGS likw the lines and youll never know.. how much i really like you cause i never even told you.... and about how he wants to go back to the old house but he cant... GAWD!!!!

distractions by wild painting is SO summer before s3 sterek to me.. like the kinda slow vibes and then the buildup to the bridge... thats just how i see sterek develop always like this crazy and gradual buildup that explodes everywhere

i wanna be good by the walters OHHHH GOD. OKAY THERES A PARTERN. A BUNCH OF DEREKPOV SONGS IT SEEMS.. hes amiling right at me and i feel it in my knees but i dont wanna trust no one.... like hello. god

iris by goo goo dolls. DO I EVEN NEED TO EXPLAIN. and VERY specifically this official live in buffalo, ny. Godfuck

and of course.. francis forever, pink in the night, geyser, and i will, all by mitski 🩷

as a final essential song for sterek…. i’m on fire by the everamazing bruce spingsteen.. 🩷🩷💗🫂

geez... this got too fucking crazy but i hope you like this little playlist almost.. maybe ill make my 9th sterek playlist and its just these songs.... i hope u also see sterek thru these songs like i do.. 💕🎀🍒🧸❤️

[liar-night]

rating ittz play pairings based on how insane the gay sex is

1. mercutio/tybalt

the most INSANE of insane gay sex. im talking window shattering bed breaking table creaking sink clogging shower leaking gay sex. when you look up hate sex in the dictionary their pictures are in it. they have scratches and bruises all over their bodies before they can even get in bed. when they walk out of the bedroom the morning after the villagers ask if they’ve been mauled by wild animals. don’t even ask who tops and who bottoms because they settle it through a naked oiled up wrestling match and the victor is different every week

2. west/east

they could be crazier than mercutio/tybalt because they have insane cock busting magic but i don’t think they directly face off with each other in the play so they get a few points docked off. also east is a super soggy sopping wet excuse of a wizard compared to west. the hate sex has good potential especially if magic is involved but east is too weak to stand up against west (but i guess east futilely struggling against west could also be insane enough for insane gay sex)

3. hatter/rabbit

have you ever seen the video of a shampoo bottle being crushed and milked by a can compactor? that’s what hatter does to rabbit. (ignore how they barely interact in the play this isn’t about that. itaru’s cringe rabbit ears line will forever carry me) their complete opposite personalities and values which could lead to disagreements that can only ever be resolved through insane boning combined with how rabbits are literal breeding machines and can go for 5-7 rounds at a time… yeah. i firmly believer that hatter needs to fuck the uptightness straight out of rabbit for his own good. don’t ask why the creamer at hatter’s tea parties tastes weird btw you don’t wanna know where (or who) he sourced it from

4. merlin/lancelot

when i first began thinking of this post they were at the top (biased because of the mortal enemies dynamic and because i have wips of demon merlin fucking the everloving shit out of lancelot with the power of “i can write whatever i want”) but then realized they aren’t as insane (pre-demon reveal at least) as the others… lot to think about. merlin’s meekboy persona for the first half of the play is as vanilla as vanilla can get. lancelot is too noble and dedicated to his honor to bed his employer’s wizard. and even after merlin is revealed as a demon, he fucks off and dies immediately so lancelot cant even slip a quickie in which i will FOREVER be mad about. in my heart i know the gay sex is insane but strictly based off of the play… i cant see it. sad. i must fix this with my own crazy canon

5. boyd/luke

not much to say about them honestly. like i guess boyd would probably create a bunch of strange and quirky machines and potions (re: straight up sex toys and aphrodisiacs) that he needs a test subject for and who else is around to assist him but his cute sour faced dour faced apprentice but other than that… they’re alright

6. kanagi/kigutsudou

ive never thought about these two in my life

bonus: shibukawa/tsurumatsu

i actually haven’t read literary impasse yet so i cant rank them properly in good faith but i have heard that shibukawa is tsurumatsu’s childhood friend… lots of potential for pent up feelings on both sides that would absolutely explode during sex. with how stressed and neurotic tsurumatsu is, the stress relief fuck would go INSANE. they’re burning holes in the tatami mats with the friction from their bodies

[lightadarttomendyourheart]

i am so in love with my new flat. it's everything i've ever wanted.

i cant believe i'm finally here in calgary. in my own place. everything seems to be falling into place so perfectly. i love my new job. i love my flat. i love the location, it'll take me 15-20 mins to walk to work. i love that it's west facing, i get so much gorgeous evening sun and i have a clear view of the sunset. it's insane. i can't believe it. i really cannot believe how well my life is going right now.

getting laid off and then breaking up with jake were honestly the best things that could have happened to me. the layoff was such a blessing in disguise. and then having that time to organize my move to calgary. it was serendipitous.

i'm so fucking happy. this flat was so worth the 3 month wait. i wanna live here FOREVER LOL. but actually. i've been very much a hermit since i've moved in cause there is just so much to do at home and i'm obsessed with it. but i do need to go out and go for walks and explore what's around me and go fricken grocery shopping, i've really been putting that off. but i have so much to unpack and organize and ive also been so exhausted. ive had to force myself to leave to go get something to eat it's bad lmao. but tomorrow maybe i'll go grocery shopping before indy comes over. even though i'm so exhausted and running on fumes i'm so wired. i want this place to be perfect and i want to start organizing and making it mine right away. i can't live another day in a home that isn't me. i did that for almost 2 years with jake and i'm over it.

god i am just in such a fucking good place. i hope this never ends. i dont remember the last time i was this happy. especially with my home AND my work AND being single. it's wild. i feel like i'm starting a bit late but it's never too late to be happy and figure out what you want in life. i'm gonna be a fucking old ass mom i just know it. even thinking about having kids right now is terrifying and makes me anxious. i dont want them. not yet. not for a long time. i need to enjoy this part of my life. and if that means i have my first at 35, which is only 7 years away, that seems long enough. 5 seems too soon. but 7, i can work with.

i need to live more in the moment. stop spending all my days at home playing games and watching shows. but i know with indy and sarah so close to me now, i will. we're going to have the fricken best summer. 2023, baby. 28. THIS IS MY YEAR.

[kurthorton-moving]

quin loml. i just wanna start by saying happy motherfucking birthday. im saying it now cause ur in nz which means your like time traveling and in the future right now. but please let it be known how much i fucking adore you. you deserve nothing but the best always and forever!!

getting to know you over these last what? years? thats insane! we’ve been mutuals for so long i feel like ive known you forever. talking to you will always make my days so much brighter, more than you realize! getting to know you and getting to create with you. those are hours of my life spent in constant joy! i can’t wait to show everyone what we’ve been working on these last few months! you mean the absolute world to me, please never forget that!

p.s ahhhhhh

I waited until exactly midnight to answer this but i actually love you so much. Talking to you daily has been so so good and i cant believe we didnt start talking sooner cause i truly can not imagine not talking to you as much as i do, its such a massive highlight of my day and its wild how well weve connected and how much we flow. The muses we've made together are so good and im so excited to show them to the world sometime within the next 24 hours. I adore you so so much and im so excited for everything we do together

[lacystar]

hey guys, update on my mental health: I'm doing great, but cquackity is so thought you said that you would always be in love but you're not in love no more but honey I'll be seeing you wherever I go but honey ill be seeing you down every road 'cause honey I'll come get my things but I cant let go I'm actin like I don't see every ribbon you used to tie yourself to me midnight we're fading till daylight we're jaded we know that its over in the morning you'll be dancing with all the heartache and the treason the fantasies of leavin' our rules, our dreams, we're blind blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite a RUUUUUUUUSH at the beginning I get caught uUUUUUUUP just for a minute but lover you're the one to blame, all that you're doing, can you hear the violence? megaphone to my chest, broadcast the boom, boom, boom, boom, and make 'em all dance to it our thing progresses I call and you come through blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you baby really hurt me crying in the taxi he don't wanna know me says he made the big mistake of dancing in my storm, says it was poison, so I guess ill go home into the arms of the girl that I love, the only love I haven't screwed up she's so hard to please but she's a forest fire I do my best to meet her commands play up romance we slow dance in the living room but all that a stranger would see is one girl, standing alone, stroking her cheek cause I remember the rush when forever was us before all of the winds of regret and mistrust now we sit in your car and our love is a ghost well I guess I should go yeah I guess I should go, hard. feelings. of loooove, when the sweet words and fevers all leave us right here in the co-o-old, alone with the hard feeeeelings of looove god, I wish I'd believed you when you told me this was my home these days we kiss and we keep busy the waves come after midnight I call from underwater why even try to get right? when you've outgrown a lover the whole world knows but you it's time to let go of this endless summer afternoon three years, loved you every single day, made me weak, it was real for me, yeah, real for me now I'll fake it every single day 'till I don't need fantasy till I feel you leave, but ill still remember every thing how we'd drift buying groceries, how you'd dance for me, I'll start letting go of little things till im so far away from you, far away from you, yeah bet you wanna rip my heart out, bet you wanna skip my calls now, well guess what, I'd like that cause im gonna mess your life up gonna wanna tape my mouth shut look out lovers we're l-o-v-e-l-e-s-s generation l-o-v-e-l-e-s-s generation all fuckin with our lovers heads lights are on and they've gone home but who am I? we told you this was melodrama all the glamour and the trauma and the fucking melodrama they'll talk about us all the lovers how we kissed and killed each other break the news, you're walking out to be a good man for someone else sorry I was never good like you in my head I play a supercut of us all the magic we gave off all the love we had and lost and in my head the visions never stop these ribbons wrap me up but when I reach for you its just a supercut we keep tryin to talk about us slow motion im watching our love I'll be your quiet afternoon crush be your violent overnight rush make you crazy over my touch but its just a supercut of us cause in my head in my head I do everything right when you call when you call I forgive and not fight because ours are the moments I play in the dark we were wild and fluorescent come home to my heart and maybe all this is the party maybe the tears and the highs we breathe, maybe all this is the party maybe we just do it violently but you're not who you thought you were I hate the headlines and the weather I'm 19 and im on fire but when we're dancing I'm alright, it's just another graceless night, all of the things we're taking 'cause we are young and we're ashamed send us to perfect places all of our heroes fading now I cant stand to be alone lets go to perfect places

all the nights spent off our faces tryna find these perfect places, what the fuck are perfect places anyways?

[imjustwritingg]

well I hope you know I am currently crying with tears down my face clouding my vision…

That chapter was fucking beautiful like that’s it. Use me?? USE MEEEE?? My jaw fucking dropped like AHHHHHHH. The way they get eachother is something so special to me.

I hope you know how cruel you are and how much happiness and pain I just went through in the past 15 minutes bc of these two idiots. “She’s scared of him. He scared her”. That’s it, that’s when I cried. He grew so much and then it all fell apart and what hurt the most is the way he knew he hurt her and then she just pushed away- Blondie didn’t deserve that, and the fact that he knew that made the entire chapter insanely pure and amazing. Like the emotion and the writing put into that angst scene all credits to you that was insane and it felt so real. The way she pushed away when he walked towards her too the way he held her and apologized. Not to mention the car scene. She knew they needed space and she spoke up. She went home alone after all this time together. That was all unnecessary like why?? Why hurt us…. It’s to painful I am already mentally unstable. The way she thought he was gonna hit her is when I lost it. The fact that we both know he would never but he completely snapped and it was all unsure after that is painful. The way he wants to protect her from everything but deep down he’s just hurting her more. I’m sad.

A kid is involved now??? Tbh I know it’s not his his (well I’m not gonna assume anything bc this whole fic has been insane and I don’t know what to think anymore) but imagine him and Blondie raising a little kid. **insert sobbing noises**

I’m so excited for next week tbh I really wanna know why this b is back like stay away. You are causing too much drama like bye- UHHHHHH…. IM SO FRUSTRATED RNNN U MADE MY BABIES SAD AND HURT. I CANT BELIEVE IT LIKE THEY ARE NOT OKAY RN AND THEY WERE JUST ON CLOUD NINE A CHAPTER AGO ISH.

Long story short I’m hurt in case u didn’t catch on. But you absolutely killed this chapter. Like I’m so proud of how far this story has come for you and how well it’s doing. You deserve it all. I felt that this chapter is relatable for people in some ways and that’s what makes it special. You just write so well and beautifully. It makes wanna cry some more for you bc you earned it and we are so proud of you!! Tysm for everything you do for this fandom. I feel like I say the same things in these anon asks but tysm. 🤍🤍

I forgot to reply to this on Wednesday, but holy hell Anon?? 😱😱 I know I caused chaos, but this ask had me GRINNING LIKE AN IDIOT!! Thank you so much for reading and for loving NBTLYG the way you do!!

So much angst and painful moments and as much as it hurt, it’s quite necessary. Funny story though, that “use me” line and that whole shower scene was actually a last minute addition to the chapter. I wrote it Monday night because I couldn’t stop thinking about it or seeing Hailey’s sad face in my mind. I really am such a psychopath sometimes. 😅

Jay and Hailey have both reached their breaking points and Camilla’s craziness is certainly driving a wedge between them. The pain is so real right now and it’s definitely gonna get worse before it gets better, but there will also be the happiest ending once Camilla is taken care of. I just can’t tell you how long that will take. 🥴

I cannot wait for you to see what’s happening in the next chapter and how everything unfolds even further. It’s gonna be a wild ride for a while for sure, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. I promise it won’t be sad forever though.

Thank you again for the yelling and for the love and for reading!! I really am so grateful for the support all of you show me for this fic and I’ll never stop gushing about it pal!! 💜

[slashingdisneypasta]

Human!Freddy Krueger x Fem!Reader || Oneshot

Title: What The Fuck Now, Freddy!?

Notes:

This is not inherently romantic, at all. Or sexual. Just... Freddy being a bastard, and you are caught in the crosshairs- and are forever linked with him because of it.

I've been listening to Lizzie, a lot lately- and this is inspired by 'What The Fuck Now, Lizzie!?'

Also- I'm thinking this will have a part 2. Due to the ending not being quite enough. Maybe a part for the court proceedings!

Plot: Many will know the story of that terrible day Krueger essentially snapped- killing his wife, Loretta Krueger. She saw the basement, they say, and he didn't like that. Their daughter saw the whole thing and suffered a traumatic response to seeing the sight of her mother, strangled to death, by her father- and forgot the whole thing.

But if she were to remember something, one day.

She may remember something no one knows about that day, aside from Freddy himself.

She may remember, that someone else was there.

She may remember you.

//

Alternatively- you're being blackmailed by Freddy who found out you, another supposedly Plain Jane in Loretta's 'mothers club', is cheating on your husband and calls you up to help deal with the mess he made. Because who else did he have?

Warnings: Okay lemme see, its basically a potluck of triggers. Hm. Murder, swearing, cheating (You, on your husband. Not with Freddy), getting rid of a body, a child gets traumatised (Obviously, Kathy/Maggie), Freddy himself, mention of the basement and all that entails, reader with a very questionable moral compass. Look, I think if you can watch Freddy's Dead, you're good here.

I'm just heading out the door, to go grocery shopping - or, at least, that's the story I tell my husband. When really I don't do the grocery shop until the day after tomorrow. He never notices... - when the phone rings. By very nearly tripping over my feet in my endeavour to catch it before the ringing stops, I manage pick up the phone with very little injury besides an achy, slightly twisted ankle. "Hi! Hi, sorry, I'm here. Hello?"

Pouting, I sit down at the kitchen table; Rubbing my poor ankle to sooth the pain, which would soon diminish anyway. Still- I'm sorry, ankle. I'll try to chill.

When the voice on the other end reveals who it is who's called the house, I lose all need to be pleasant. Damn. I really need to memorise this goddamn number... so I can not answer it. "Whatcha wearin'?"

"Thank god Harrison didn't answer this, you fuck." I deeply roll my eyes. Thank god Har's out. No, this is not my mister, not the man I was going to meet just now- but its bad, enough. In an entirely different way. Its stupid, blackmailing, son of a... hundred maniacs. "What do you want?"

"What a way to answer the phone, Y/N. Gee, seems like every time I we talk, I'm learning how you really aren't in the right place, are you? Cheating on your poor husband, swearing... These aren't really signs of the perfect suburban house wife, is it?" Gritting my teeth, I keep from lashing out. I've learned, if you stay real quiet, Freddy wont have anything to pull from and will get bored quick. "Why so silent, hm?"

"... " Oh, fuck me. I cant help it. "Wondering where you get off judging me on being 'suburban', actually."

"Anywhere I like, thanks."

Oh... oh. Gross?

He doesn't see the disgust tearing my face into two perfect halves right now, but my silence must be enough as he laughs. The sound is directly into the phone, and harsh on my poor eardrums. Ugh... "Oh for gods sake... What are we? Fourteen years old?? Come on- why'd you call?"

"Uhhhh... " Quickly, midway through that drawn out 'um' sound, Freddy's voice transitions, and gets a whole lot darker. Something deep in his chest dislodging, to make it so. Perhaps, his heart. "Well... you might wanna come and see for yourself."

"Uh, I don't think so. I have somewhere to be right now- "

"Oh well you don't, anymore." And its clear what he isn't saying- or else I'll tell Harrison about Carter and set your life on fire. "Tell your boy toy you're takin' a reign check for the day. I think you'll last. In fact... after you come over here, you might be out of the game for a couple a hours at least- maybe days."

Hold on, hold on Freddy what the fuck- "What!?"

"... Believe it or not, I didn't actually mean for that one."

Moron.

~

Nevertheless, no matter how just... off setting, Freddy is, I had to when he asked. I had to jump when he said so.

Because if not, then he would tear my life apart.

So here I am, about to knock on that big red door he lives behind, wondering what I'm walking into. Where's Loretta? Where's Kathy? How long will the visit be? I told Carter I'd be an hour or two late- any longer and I wont see him at all today. Which would absolutely suck.

Just after my knuckles come down on the wood the first time, a hand comes down on my shoulder and I immediately jump out of my skin... then slowly look around.

There's Freddy, a cheeky grin on his face. It does nothing to set my nerves at ease. "Ugh... Why are you out here?"

"We're going to the backyard. Lets go." Taking me by the shoulders, he marches me around the side of the house, instead of through it for some reason, and into the familiar backyard. I've been here numerous times, as Loretta likes to hold our club meetings here - Barbecue's, tea's... that sort of thing. Just to let the kids play together and so the adults can enjoy some adult conversation. Its a nice yard... but depending on what her horrid husband is about to show me, it may not be considered as such anymore... - , but I'm now starting to develop a sick feeling in my stomach.

Honestly- I don't know much about Freddy at all. Yes, I went to school with him, but that doesn't mean much when he was a freaky loner kid the whole time. I remember he killed the class hamster once- that's about the only splash he ever made in the news pool; But it definitely stuck.

Yes, Loretta cleaned up his image a fair bit since getting married, but now he's blackmailing me, and as far as I know I'm now alone with him.

Suspicious of him suddenly, I slip out of his grip with a dirty look flashed his way. Don't touch me.

He just rolls his eyes, leading me around some hedges.

And then everything stops.

Him, me, the air; The air around me, the breeze, the breath in my throat.

There lays Loretta, on the ground. If I was really really naïve, I could imagine she were sleeping... or passed out, at least, due to the way she's sprawled out. No one would lay down like that willingly.

But... her eyes are open.

For a moment I'm tempted to kneel down; Take a closer look. Find out how, myself. Is she bleeding anywhere that I cant see now? Are her lips turning blue? If I moved some short red hair out of the way- would their be marks on her neck yet?

But then I come to my senses...

And freak. The fuck. O u t.

"What, the fuck, did you do!?" I whip around, looking at Freddy now which entirely new eyes. I mean, before I sure wasn't fond- but now I'm filled with something new, looking at him. Something a lot worse, something that makes me want to run. Run, and hide, and stay there.

And all these, even though he hasn't really changed. He still wears a mischievous smirk, stony blue eyes eating up my reactions... like always. But this time its just so so much worse. "Made some dead weight- now you're gonna help me get rid of it. So!" Finally, though its been only a matter of seconds, he turns his gaze off of me and I'm glad. That gaze is far too heavy. "Ideas?"

Only for a moment am I lost for words, struggling to push anything out. "I... I'm sorry??"

His gaze returns to mine, but this time my eyes are hard as his are dark. "Help. Me. Get rid of her. Fucking. Body. Or do you want your dirty laundry aired for the whole community to hear?"

Before I can help myself, I let out a sharp laugh, only succeeding in making Freddy's scowl deeper. "Freddy- this secret's a lot bigger, then mine. Sure, I might get divorced- but you're going to prison!" Does he get that? He's g o i n g to j a i l. Crossing my arms, I try to avoid looking at my ex-friend's body. I cant. "I'm sure as hell not gonna be in there with you, for being an accomplice."

I really cant look at her... I can only focus on Freddy. And that takes a lot of energy- its taking everything in me, in fact. Everything I have. But I have to. If its him or her, there's no choice.

But... then a creepy smile spreads across his face- a vast polarity to the frustrated glower of before. It makes my blood run cold.

"Ohhhh..." He looks almost ferocious, even in his composed state. Like a monster. Like any moment a fanged, inhuman creature is going to burst out of him and I'm going to wake up, and this will have been a nightmare. A horrible nightmare. The kind where that creature haunts me for a long time, after its over. After this over.

He's going to haunt me.

"You must think this is my first time... " My heart turns to ice, mouth hanging a little open... what the fuck have I found myself a part of!? Suddenly all the children's disappearances on the news lately come to the forefront of my brain... "Sweetheart, give a man his dues. I'm a hard working kinda guy... " I watch his gaze flicker to a door - the back door? No... The basement door, - and when a filthy smirk pulls at his mouth, my heart flies up into my throat. God, it makes me feel sick. I want to be violently ill. "My first was my adoptive Dad... pretty sick, huh?"

The fact that he didn't say anything about the basement, makes my imagination go wild. I swallow it down, though.

I just need to get out of here, and never think about this again.

And to do that I need to help Freddy get rid of this goddamn body- and... probably... testify at court... As the panic starts to finally rise up in my, right up to fill my throat, I immediately take in a deep breath and slowly let it out. "Okay... " No time to freak out. Now's the time for action.

Gaze flickering to Loretta again, I try to acclimatise to the sight. I think its a lost cause, though. "How did you get rid of him? Your Dad?"

"No, that's not gonna work. He was a drunk dead beat, and I just had to tell the police some guy's he owed money to came over to the house." Freddy grins happily at the memory, but then just as quickly, scowls at his poor deceased wife's body- that certainly cant fight back. I just tack this onto the long list of reasons I hate him. "Lore's such a goddamn goody goody- we cant do the same thing. You don't think I woulda thought of that??"

"Hey." I snap, hands braced on my hips as I flash a glare his way. "This is not the time to get defensive!"

"Whatever... "

Then- suddenly, something occurs to me. Confused, I look around; A deeply horrified feeling disturbing my stomach. "Hold on... Where's your daughter?" Seeing no sign of her anywhere, I definitely start to panic again- especially when I look to Freddy and just see a pert look in his eyes as he looks back at me, a smile that strikes something horrid inside me. My eyes narrow. "You sick fuck- where the fuck is she!??"

"Under the bed."

"What the fuck does that mean!?" I exclaim, frustrated and freaking out. He did not- he did not! Killing your spouse is one thing, but the kid?? Your own kid??

I don't wait around for him to be cryptic some more, and rush right into the house to look for her. Under the bed, under the bed, under the fucking bed...? Which fucking bed!? Forcing ferocity out of my voice, I carefully call out to Kathy. Hoping to god she answers. I try to sound normal. Maybe a little bit cheerful; Excited.

But my voice wobbles.

"Kathy?? Sweetheart, its Y/N! Are you hiding? I have something for you... " ?? You have something for her, Y/N?? God... now you have to figure out some kind of treat.

You know what? Whatever. We'll figure that out later.

Lets just hope we aren't searching for a corpse. I'd definitely be sick, seeing a child... the way Loretta is...

Shaking my head and clenching my fists, I try to focus on Kathy.

I check under the bed in the guest room because it comes into view first and she isn't there, then her bedroom and she isn't there either... and get a sick feeling as soon as I enter the last bedroom. Freddy's and Loretta's.

God, I've never been in here before but its like a museum peace now. A horrible one. Like if you would walk into the Titanic... or the Borden house.

"Kathy? You in here?" Flicking on the light I kneel down on the ground, and check under the bed.

And something immediately crashes over me, as the sight of her covering her eyes down there. It isn't exactly relief, because this whole situation is still phenomenally fucked up for her, but I am selfishly glad to not have to see her body... crumpled, just like her mother.

"Hey sweetheart," My voice quivers slightly now, but I quickly swallow. No. No. Now, you must be strong Y/N. "Its just me. Your Daddy was looking for you, and couldn't find you! It got him worried!"

"I... I don't wanna see Daddy. He hurt Mommy." Kathy doesn't remove her hands from her face, and stays firmly by the wall- too far away for anyone to grab. My heart sinks.

Slowly straightening up again, I try to take that piece of information in. Turning to the doorway, I see Freddy there. he must have followed me. I didn't even notice. Slowly, and quietly ferociously, I say; "She saw?!"

He has the good sense to look embarrassed, even if it is just to make fun of me. "It was spur of the moment... " He shrugs. "I didn't have time to get a babysitter!"

What a fucking excuse. For gods sake.

I'm definitely dealing with a psycho- if that was even a question before now.

Swiftly, I look down under the bed again, because I'm afraid that if I continue to engage with him- I'll scream, and I'll lose my breath, and I'll scare Kathy even more. She's at the forefront of my mind; That's all I can think about.

But what to do with her after I get her out from under this bed, I don't know. I cant give her back to her father... but I cant hand her over to the police either because that would involve telling them about Loretta, and... Freddy will definitely kill me, for that.

This is a nightmare of a situation.

I'm just opening my mouth to say something - what, I don't know yet, - when she speaks, instead. "Is he there?"

"... Yes." I wont lie to her; That would be treating her with not nearly as much respect as she deserves.

When she takes a deep breath and rubs her eyes, as if just trying to keep herself together, my heart clenches. God... and to think I might not have picks up Freddy's call today. I would have been leaving her with this. For the first time today, I'm morbidly glad I came.

She speaks in that loud, hissy way that kids think is a whisper. "Can he... can you please make him go away?"

Immediately I straighten back up and look to Freddy again, my eyebrows raised halfway up my forehead. Like well? "Get out."

"I don't think you're in a position to make demands here, bi- "

"Do you want Kathy to live down there now!??" I snap, trying not to be scared. Not really feeling scared, actually. Just happy to have a reason to tell him to get the hell away from me.

A deep frown creases his mouth, deeply unhappy about the situation, but steps back. I only hear him step out of the way of the door, but its good enough. Quickly, I get up and close the door - fighting with myself not to slam it, - and lock it.

Then I return to the floor, and see this time Kathy has uncovered her eyes. She looks so small, smaller then she actually is, and she looks like she's shaking. Little red bows and piggy tails in her hair are messy from crawling under the bed. "He's gone, sweetheart. And I locked the door."

She just nods, so I take the silence as a chance to offer my hand to her. "Take my hand, sweetie? Come on out from under the bed. Its cold down there, and no one wants you getting sick." I need to upkeep the family friend bit, I need to sound caring and collected. I need her to trust me.

Her big eyes, not Loretta's colour or Freddy's, look nervous as hell. And she shakes her head.

Taking a deep breath, and I conjure all the sincerity as I can. And mean it. My eyes soften and I try really hard, to resent myself as someone trustworthy- which is hard, seeing as I've never really been that. I mean, I'm cheating on my husband. I told Carter today the same lie I told Harrison when i knew I was going to be late. The only person I think who knows the truth behind all my lies is Freddy. That says something about a person, that the only person who knows them is a psychopath.

But I want to, I need to, be good for this little girl. And there's no time for me turn my life around so it has to start with this. How fucked is that?

"... I promise, I'll take care of you. He wont hurt you."

After a few whole minutes, in which I stay silent because yes she's a child, but she's still thinking, she crawls over and takes my hand, letting me lead her out. Crawling into my lap as I cross my legs under her, she buries her face in my shirt- hiding. "You promise?"

Taking a deep breath, because I've really done it now, I offer my pinky for her to see if she turned her head. I know Freddy's listening to all of this through the wall, but I try not to freak out. "Pinky swear?"

"Pinky swear." She peaks out from my shirt, and curls her little finger around mine. Okay... "Y/N... I'm scared."

"Yeah... Me too, sweetie."

What am I going to do?

[redxblueihateloveyou]

Hey i really love your blog!!! I just plucked the courage to actually send u an ask fhdjhd but GOSH i love your video edits and your gifs and your meta article posts, you're so articulate and you can explain/describe moments in a way that makes me go "oh wow, i cant believe i haven't seen it that way before!!" Haha ANYWAYS i'm just here to say that i completely agree with what all u said, Free creators might do a lil fanservice here and there for the 25 ships that exists within the fandom's circle, but rinharu's storyline is clearly the most romantic one! And i'd argue it's the one closest to being canon esp after part 1, i mean the fact that they put such an explosive emotional outburst right at the end of the second to the last movie means a lot. It's like reinforcing the fact that this series has always been about them, and everything that has happened only happened either because they met or they grew appart and miss eachother. I kinda feel like maybe.. juust maayyybe there's a chance KA wants to make the ship canon, since it's the last movie and they want to end it on a highnote maybe (bcs honestly i think the only reason they've been holding back is purely bcs of the merch sales, since they don't have a problem showing a wholesome lesbian love story in kobayashi maid dragon) butt i could be wrong, maybe i'm just overly optimistic and delusional, they could somehow ruin it and give an ending that panders to all the ships again 😅🥲, but at least there's a clear-cut guarantee that part 2 would dedicate a large portion of it fixing rin and haru's fight!!! Oohh how can i wait another 6 months now!!😭😭 (sorry for the long ask btw!! 🙏🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️)

OMG thank you so so much!! For watching my vids too! ❤️❤️❤️ It really means a lot to me! Ahhhh wow, thats the longest ask I've ever recieved! 😍 I'm trying to explain myself so hard lol I'm glad its appreciated, bc sometimes I'm like "I don't fucking know how to say this" xD

Well, you know me, I only care for one ship, which is the only one with confirmed info that they're both actually gay and have mutual feelings for each other. There are some other ships in free! I'm fine with (those do not include Rin or Haru in them xD), but I just mostly don't care, bc after reading all the stuff, you can see that in some of those to one the other one is actually like his second option, which I just do not like. Others I just don't even see, bc again to me who witnessed great close male friendships and having two sisters who I'm very close to, I just do not see anything romantic in that.

It's not just Free! tbh, it's like any sports anime these days. They see two guys walking together, it's a ship. And like no one cares if they're just bros. Like I'd get i they did some fanservice fanservice, but like I never saw anyone in Free! crossing the line the way rinharu do. I can without thinking much name you 10 rh moments that no matter how hard you think can't be explain as being bros, but can't name one when it comes to others. I just find some ppl shipping everyone with everyone weird sometimes. It's like western fans see like some eastern actors or singers slap each other ass lovingly and they're like "oh they're fucking" I'm like "yeah, ofc all 500 of them, you're absolutely right". And Free! doesn't do anything even like that, I just do not get sometimes like what moment even brought on some ships. I'm genuinely confused. Albert and Haru? You fucking fell from a sakura tree or smth? I'm...

I'm especially confused when it comes to guys, whose character type is who I call "I only want this one and if I can't have it, then I'm ok" xD. It just always surprised me, when they try to pair up them with someone else, it's like a complete ooc.

I'm also not into this whole "well, if there are gays in this anime, than everyone there is gay". I'm like... huh. It's like with KNB and MDZS I had same feeling. It's like you have already couples there who are canon/borderline canon, why do you need another 10 who don't even interact or just don't even go there? I'm always so confused in those situations. Or like wangxian is married and some are like "no, I actually don't like it, let me write a fic when they're with other ppl". Lan Zhan... being in love or having sex with someone else? Yeah, that's not Lan Zhan, dude, you're writing about someone else. Might as well change the name at this point.

But last time I went to twitter someone had a thread about how if they make s4 of Free! they should mainly explore there Momo's angst (and no, it wasn't a joke), so I'm already like, I'm just.. nothing will surprise me no more. But I'm forever gonna be confused.

Yeah, I eel you about "going there". I mean seeing part of it, it just kinda cemented my confusion, bc I do not get how it can be considered platonic. We were just discussing since yesterday with @freeseafirefly how I now even more perplexed and do not understand how they will resolve it without going into relationship territory. It's just our point here is that like... no one forced them to go there (I mean its not like this whole fandom has some wild expectations or anything already), we were waiting or our usual friendship and swimming and maybe tiny conflict about struggles of pro-careers and some usual rh implications (maybe all the rh gay in dramas as always). Not some pure fanfiction coming to life here haha.

Like why I'm laughing is bc I twice used in my "fics" bringing up him leaving Haru as a force to push the confession, bc there's no way if he adresses this it won't lead to this. And now we not only have this (bc Haru just basically layed it out there), but an actual scene of him playing on their feelings for each other and a literal image of Rin leaving and "taking Haru's heart with him" to the point when he's for the first time in his life openly crying on the ground. And it's not like this scene can be interpreted as anything else, the whole fandom talks same, bc the whole fight was just about them, what Haru said was just about them, there's a literal boom of his heart getting out of his chest, before he falls and now he's heartless.

So our question is like... why go there?

It's like some say that they might still resolve it with "they're special to each other" and swimming, but still like we already knew that, there was no reason to go that far is what I'm saying. And to think that it was planned since forever giving the clues is like... ???

The whole spoon theme also throw me on the loop because like, lets be honest, it's wedding themed. And that part of the interview about part 2 there also made me go...?????? Because I mean, huh?

This is just all in all very interesting turn of events to say the least. I do not see the point of all of this if its not what I think it is, esp after seeing tweets like "even I see a rh wedding and I'm mh T_T". It's just all very unsubtle, that's why we're confused.

Like who knows, maybe we'll really by some magic turn of events get lucky and they really decided that since its the ending, it's okay to go for it. But I also don't wanna to hype myself much, I'm already really happy with it, just bc again, this scene already proves all of my points.

And yeah, I'm sure they'll pander to everyone, bc it's the end and etc and we have to handle everything on the good note and there's a whole line of ppl who's obsessed with us, esp with Haru xD, but like bromance pandering and romance pandering are different things, you know *wiggles eyebrows* and u know who always gets the second one.

[imagineurfavs]

E’LAST: Choi In A-Z

“Oh my god I saw you write for E'last and I've never seen someone that writes for them before! Can I please request a nsfw A-Z for Choi In? Thank you~!”

A/N: aaah finally an e’last request fgfg I’ve never seen anyone who writes for them either lol, tbh i wasnt sure there was even any e’last fans here dkdkj 

----------

A - Aftercare In’s idea of aftercare literally just consists of a big ‘ol cuddle lol. Just laying together and talking, laughing, just generally being cute dkdkdj

B - Body Part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner) On himself, he likes his mouth. He’s confident in his skills with his lips and he knows how much you like them too. On his partner he likes their stomach, he loves keeping his hands on the soft skin of your lower stomach as you ride him. He also thinks it looks super pretty covered in his cum oop.

C - Cum Kinda just like, lets it happen lol. He prefers to cum inside you just bc it feels more sweet and romantic to him lol, but it’s not something he’s too bothered with. As well as almost asking for permission to cum, he’ll ask you where you want him to cum so it all depends where you want it lol. “can i cum, please...where? Where do you want it? Can I-?”

D - Dirty Secret (a dirty secret of theirs) Mans wishes he was more dominant than he actually is. But he just doesn’t think he has it in him to be totally that way. Sometimes he wants to see you the whimpering mess he often ends up as, but he just cant do it. Or at least not seriously lol

E - Experience I mean...idk. He doesn’t strike me as someone who’s had a whole lot of experience but the man is 25 years old lol so he’s probably had some. I feel like, enough to know what he’s doing but he’s not gonna have tried everything he’s wanted to.

F - Favourite Position Mans a subby boi, so he likes it when you take control. He loves having you ride him; just keep him pinned down and maybe tie his wrists to the headboard too oop. There are times when he’s a bit more in control and he loves just snapping his hips into you from behind, but that’s usually when he’s just like, super needy and just needs to cum. 

G - Goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous etc) I dont think In is someone who could be 100% serious like...ever. He’s just so smiley and full of love I think that would definitely cross over into the bedroom. He just has such a sweet air to him that even when he’s like in the zone, he still likes to keep things light-hearted and fun. 

H - Hair (how well groomed are they) Super well groomed; aaaaalmost bare but not quite

I - Intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect) He’s not not intimate...if that counts for anything lol. He tends to like things to be more light and fun. He doesn't like the atmosphere to be too heavy. 

J - Jack Off (Masturbation) I’d say pretty often tbh. Whenever he does get the urge, even if its in the middle of the day, he gets so needy he has to go and take care of himself. Like he can’t focus on anything else until he’s moved his brain out of his dick and back into his head lol.

K - Kinks (one of more of their kinks) As I said before lol. This man is a sub; not 100% however, but like 9 times out of 10 he just wants to be totally under your control. He’s a well behaved sub though, he thrives on praise. Tell him how well he’s doing, how good he makes you feel and he’ll be a whimpery mess in no time. 

L - Location (Favourite places to do the do) Prefers to keep things within the bedroom largely for privacies sake. But if you had your own place to yourselves, I think he’d like be open to doing it literally anywhere lol. 

M - Motivation (What turns them on) Praise praise praise. Even in the most innocent of settings, just hearing “You’re doing so well!” “You’re so good at this!” just makes his brain go into obedient sub mode lmao like “yes...I am good, let me be good for you”

N - NO (something they won't do, turn offs) He’s not into anything involving pain, either giving or receiving. It’s just something he doesn’t see the point in. Like “why tf would you wanna hurt someone you’re supposed to be making feel good?” He just doesn’t get it.

O - Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc) When receiving, he honestly just turns to total jelly like, no matter what position y’all started in, he’ll end up laying on his back with his hand in your hair, just...a mess. When giving, he’ll start off a little shyly, but the second he starts to get a reaction from you, or if you give him some praise, he’ll go all in. He has zero shame in making the most lewd noises against you, he’ll keep going until the only thing you can say is his name. Honestly makes his ego swell like no other lol.

P - Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc) It depends if he’s in sub mode or not lol. When you're taking control he likes it on the more slower side, like, much more kinda...sensual and deep movement lol. On the fewer occasions he’s not in sub mode, his pace is kinda erratic, like, short sharp thrusts, getting harder as he gets closer to finishing.

Q - Quickies (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc) Loooooves them. Boy gets so needy so quickly sometimes he just needs to take you both away somewhere and go at it lol. Even then he needs you to take control, hell be asking “please, please let me cum” “I need to cum fuck please”. Lowkey though, having you edge him in a situation like this is such a guilty pleasure of his too.

R - Risk (are they down to experiment, do they take risks?) Oh absolutely, for sure. He’ll give anything a go if it piques his interest enough lol. More often than not he’ll be the one who will bring things up to you that he wants to try, he’s probably got like a list of things that he’s slowly checking off that he wants to try lmao

S - Stamina (how many rounds can they go, how long do they last? etc) He’s probably a one and done kinda guy lol. You might get a second round out of him but you’d have to give him a decent amount of time in between lmao

T - Toy (do they own toys do they use them on a partner or on themselves?) A big fan of sensory deprivation kinda toys; blindfolds, restraints etc. He’ll use them on you if you ask him to but he really loves being the one who's being restrained.

U - Unfair (how much they like to tease) There are times when he wants to tease you, but he’s just really not very good at it lol. 

V - Volume (how loud are they, what type of sounds they make) Quiet little whimpery type noises, he’s quite shy about them so he usually buries his face in your neck or comes in for a kiss so they're not as loud. But jokes on him bc they're so v v pretty ;((((

W - Wild Card (a random headcannon) There have only been a handful of times he’s tried to be more dominant, and both times have ended in you both just being a laughing mess. He just can’t  take himself seriously like that. Like he’ll have you pinned beneath him, trying to say something dirty but he just can’t get the words out without laughing. Even whilst he’s trying to pound into you, he’s still letting out little giggles bc he can’t quite believe what he’s doing. If you praise him enough though, and tell him how much you like seeing him like this, he might just start getting used to being the one in control lol.

X - X-ray (what's going on inside those pants) pretty average I’d say, maybe a little smaller, on the slimmer side but lowkey a super pretty pink colour oop

Y - Yearning (How high is their sex drive) I wouldn’t say its overly high, but when he is in the mood, he gets so so needy. Like he’ll be whiney and grabby, pls give him what he needs ;((

Z - Zzz... (How quickly they fall asleep afterwards) He wont fall asleep for a good while afterwards tbh. He’ll be so happy and smiley that he’ll just wanna stay up with you forever lol. If he does actually go to sleep, he’ll be sure to wait for you to fall asleep first.

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[ohtobeaspettyasleah]

how long does it take for Lorelei and Gray to meet? And how did he react when Ethan told him about the new assistant situation? :)

Grayson’s Phone rang out on the living room table as he helped Lisa move her vanity around upstairs, missing the facetime call Ethan was begging he’d answer. “Shit” was all he said when the called died out. No answer. Ethan placed his phone back into his back pocket-- trying to figure out how exactly he was gonna word this to stop his brother from going off the deep end at him. His phone pinging not too long after, not Grayson, but Lorelei. 

Lorelei Figgs: You never mentioned a time for tomorrow so is it okay if I come over around 9? I can come anytime! Just seemed like a good time.”

Ethan Dolan: fuck sorry, yeah come round at 9. Trying to call Gray now and tell him what’s up.

Lorelei sat in her bed up against her headboard. Her pillows shoved down behind her back, oxygen being blown into her lungs generously as she typed away on her laptop. The one Ethan had given her. Setting up her google docs and organising personal information she sometimes forgot. If Lorelei wasn’t a highly functioning over analyser, she never would’ve seconds guessed Ethans tone. She always did that, tried to read her text as if someone was speaking to her in person. 

Lorelei Figgs: Does he not know? 

Ethan Dolan: Not exactly, but we’re good. Trust the process Lore. ill see you tomorrow.

Ethan had always been a firm believer in manifesting possibilities, goals and overall events you wanted to see play out in life. But unfortunately, he hadn’t even had a chance to think about manifesting the idea Grayson would loose his absolute shit when the time came for the boot to drop. It was time: his phone was ringing. Facetime call from Gray. 

“Yo bro, I was helping ma with her vanity what’s up?” Grayson looked rough. His facial hair had grown rugged. Not kept. The blue flannel was probably a mere three seconds away from falling off his back-- having not changed properly in days. Sure, he showered and changed his underwear-- but that was about the extent of it. His hair was greasy, slicked. Ethan could clearly see the shin. 

“Don’t get pissed.”

“What did you go? Ethan--”

“Nothing! Nothing just-- well, I hired that girl, the friend of Adele’s? She starts tomorrow and--” 

“ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ETHAN!!” Grayson screamed with a groan so guttural it made Ethan kinda flinch. “We’re a fucking TEAM!”

“Well, okay look it was cute and needed when you left but it’s kinda hard to make team decisions when you’re not fucking here bro, ever think of that?” Ethan retaliated with a sigh. “Just meet her bro.” 

“Why the fuck would you do that without me bro, Jesus, that’s it, I’m coming home.” Ethan tried to hide his smile. Deep down he’d missed Grayson although he’d try twist reality to suit the ideology that it was Grayson who missed him. 

“I’ll book you a flight. When for?” 

“We have a fucking assistant for that shit Ethan get what’s her name to do it!! The next one out, text me later I’m gonna pack my fucking bags.” when Grayson hung up Ethan could tell he was in fact-- Pissed. But as his smile grew with the idea of his brother coming home he knew the anger would fade. All he had to do was meet Lorelei. 

Grayson kept his rage built up within him the entire trip home, including in the car ride back from LAX to home. Ethan coped an ear full the entire ride home, good thing he didn’t have to drive-- forever thankful for the technology of autopilot. He swore with the way Grayson was bitching in his ear about being left out of important decisions like hiring a new assistant, Ethan would’ve driven straight into a wall if he had control. 

“Is she at ours?” Grayson hissed. 

“With Mando yeah, she’s working, Mando was going through the DT productions laptop with her, Sharing the docs with her email-- you know shit I should be doing but I had to come pick your bitch ass up.”

“Wouldn’t be back if you hadn’t hired a new assistant without me--” Grayson grumbled. 

“Good well, she’s already doing a great fucking job isn’t she because she got nature-loving tree kissing wild boy back to L.A.” Grayson glared-- furious. 

“She’s fired the moment I walk in the door bro-- you don’t get to make these decisions without me!!” 

“Grayson you cant fire her I fucking hired her yesterday! We need an assistant.”

“Yeah well we’ll figure it out together but this ones on you-- fire her, refire someone else together! Because this is always- always something we do together Ethan, no ifs or buts and the idea you just couldn’t pick up the fucking phone and ask me beforehand is infuriating!!” it was one of the top ten heated arguments Ethan and Grayson had ever had in the Tesla. Not the car-- just the Tesla. Different top tens. 

“I didn’t want to bother you, bro! Fuck! I needed you here but you needed jersey a little more and I didn’t wanna bother you with work. We were on a break, relaxing.”

“Well look what good that did! I’m here! I’m back! I’m the bad guy because I gotta fix your mess--!”

“WHAT MESS!”

“WHATEVER HER NAME IS!” 

Ethan didn’t respond. deciding to give up and give in. his head hurt from the shouting. He had a feeling, deep down, that Grayson would calm down. He always calmed down-- he was angry, hurt even, that Ethan had left him out of such an important decision, but he’d get over it. And he did. Very quickly. The second he saw Lorelei.

Ethan delta quick change in atmospheric pressure as she walked in behind Grayson-- now standing still at the door. Swallowing thick as he stared. He hated that he was this way around girls he thought were pretty. But he couldn’t help it. 

“Lori, Grayson, Gray? This is Lori--”

“Grayson, its actually so good to meet you! I was pretty bumbed out when Ethan said you were still in Jersey when i came over for my interview thingo-- but hey.” She stood, lifting her arm and extending her hand to shake his. Grayson mimicked her actions. 

“Lori, its uh, yeah no its good to meet you too, thanks for uh-- coming on board so quick, we can get a little stressed out when someone isn’t here to deal with, with like meetings and schedules and shit like that.” Ethan couldn’t help but chuckle under his breath as he watched Grayson stagger over his words. Night and day from the man who sat brooding in his passanger seat. 

“Well like i was saying to Ethan yesterday i might not have too much experience but im pretty stoked with the opportunity.” it washer eyes that had him right from the get go. Eyes that swirled in different shades or brown-- melting together to create a perfect deep brown that made them seem doe like. Beautiful. 

“Experience can only be taught, everyone’s gotta stare somewhere right.” Grayson smiled. Lorelei chuckled. Mando side eyed Ethan and Ethan almost wheezed. 

“Alright alright, Gray go shower and fucking shave, Lor imma show you how to set up in the podcast room works.” 

“Cool, i’m keen, ill move my stuff down there then, brought a note book to write stuff down.” she pressed her lips together nervously Grayson watched as her hand patted the hard cover diary that she held before watching her pick up her coffee cup. Mando had already beaten both Ethan and Grayson to showing Lori how the coffee machine worked. Knowing that when everyone was working? Sometimes no one had a chance to even make it. Grayson stood still and sighed, knowing the roast was coming. 

“Dude--”

“Don’t even start E--”

“I’m sweating, your so awkward bro, what the fuck was that!” Ethan laughed as he covered his mouth. His cheeks red. “Bro--”

“She, her eyes got me shut up, i couldn’t think”

“So she isn’t fired? Just so we’re clear on this decision together? Not fired?” Mando furrowed his brows, wondering what type of question that was as Grayson trudged down the hall with his bag. Groaning: 

“This cannot be happening”

[bluealmondpie]

oihina is life and no one can change my mind

i am. not over oihina (;-;) it's too much time to october when the rest of s4 comes out and it will b forever before we get to see oikawa again so (;-;) imma watch the movies and then the stage plays again and maybe re read the whole manga/light novels/spinoffs. MY HEART

but anyway here's some extras to tide us thru (this is a revision from an earlier post i deleted cos i wanna b more canon compliant ♪( ´▽｀) )

hcs part 1

* long, long video calls. oikawa likes watching hinata fall asleep.

* oikawa does NOT like hinata playing with kageyama. cue jealousy. doesn't like it even if it's the karasuno gang meeting up and hinata and kageyama are in the same space >:(

* hinata will pay for it later ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

* hinata knows that oikawa is weak for cute things. hinata uses this to his advantage, acting cute to get his way. ( *｀ω´) oikawa knows this but he can't resist (*´ー｀*)

* hinata sends oikawa lots of msby merch. oikawa only keeps the ones with hinata in them.

* volleyball dates. my gosh these volleyball idiots. but they have lots of fun and it's all just games that don't have consequences

* but hinata is overly concerned about oikawa overworking himself or pushing himself too hard. he worries about oikawa's knee.

* so even when they play volleyball hinata will only wanna play beach volleyball cos it's softer.

* and also bc it's just the two of them (〃ω〃) like it's meant to be. just the two of them in their little volleyball world this is such a soft picture in my head ahhhhhh

* pedro is sick of seeing them make out in the house.

* oikawa likes marking hinata. hickeys everywhere in obvious places.

* and also in semi-obvious places. when hinata jumps and his shirt flies up, are those hickeys on his hip?

* when hinata sits down and the hem of his shorts ride up, are those hickeys on his thigh?

* oikawa lets hinata lead sometimes. he likes the switch.

* vers top oikawa. VERS TOP OIKAWA

* when they are together oikawa will block kageyama's number on hinata's phone.

* tbh everyone in brazil alr knew they were gonna get married from the moment they saw the two interact it was a matter of time

* i mean oikawa was hinata's plus one to heitor's wedding i think this is universally accepted in fandom

* but to me i don't think they were tgt yet during the wedding

* oh but but but if you were there you'd see how oikawa was so so jealous at how hinata just attracts people

* people revolve around hinata like he is the sun which he is kuroo voice yanno, gravitational pull and all that

* he would shoot death stares at anyone who was getting too close ᕦ(ò_óˇ)ᕤ

* hinata knows.

* hinata knows and is pushing oikawa's buttons. bc he thinks it's cute when oikawa is jealous (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

* hinata will act all innocent but damn. damn that chibi-chan, oikawa thinks. does he know his acting is obvious? is it meant to be obvious? is this a green light? does he know what his stupid winking and eye smiles do to me? when he tilts his head asking if i want more drinks, does he know what effect it has on my heart? when he licks his lips, can he see me staring omg i hope he doesn't know i'm staring this is so uncool what do i do he is so fucking hot gah look he's taking off his tie that is unfair what do u mean it's getting hot in here oi hinata DONT LEAN INTO ME OMG U R TOO CLOSE IS ALL OF THIS ON PURPOSE just tell me to bring u home and fuck u alr

* well fuck all that thinking that hahahahahah oikawa will prob throw caution to the wind when he's sufficiently drunk/tipsy

* and cue the sex

* after that hinata is all like ehehehehehe (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧ got u where i wanted u oikawa just sighs yes. yes u did you cute little monster

* and it's a "well i guess we r dating now" situation

* and then the morning after, hinata is up early (oikawa is a late riser whenever he can afford it) and making breakfast and oikawa wakes up to the smell of cooking uwahhhhh i love this picture

* that first selfie is their phone wallpaper you cannot change my mind

* but when you unlock the phone it'll be (oikawa's) a sweet picture of them kissing and (hinata) a selfie of them after a volleyball game, with oikawa all tired in the background but so soft and smiley

* they have racy photos of each other too ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) but let's not go too deep into their personal lives

* no one in karasuno believes it. not until oikawa dropped by their gatherings to pass hinata his clothes (left behind after a night of ~fun~) and kissed him on the cheek. Σ(-᷅_-᷄๑) even so, kageyama is in shock. oikawa smirks. he's mine

* the third years are immediately possessive and warn oikawa to not hurt their baby crow ＼＼\٩(๑`^´๑)۶//／／daichi especially

* yachi, kiyoko, yamaguchi, kinoshita and narita are sitting in stunned silence.

* tsukki doesn't care.

* ennoshita is taken aback (he doesn't rlly have an opinion of oikawa to begin with) but snaps back to reality to hold tanaka and nishinoya from jumping on oikawa in rage for stealing the sun away from them

* ukai and takeda sigh and give relationship advice (is it from their own experience huehuehue ( *｀ω´) )

* kageyama still doesn't believe it till this day

* bokuto and oikawa get along. akaashi and iwaizumi regret letting them meet. (smol akaashi/iwaizumi interaction here) sakusa avoids them when they are together. the chaotic energy of bokuhinaoi is too much for him. if we add atsumu... who knows where things will go. they are volatile substances.

* and even outside of training iwaizumi dotes on hinata omg. like a true mother in law. will buy him food. will ruffle his hair. will nag at hinata to not eat so fast and chew properly and have some manners but also aggressive care tactics. will send oikawa pics of hinata being cute while they were in separate countries training for olympics and oikawa is so pissed and jealous he literally can't wait to go and kick everyone's butts. i cant deal with how cute this picture is (now i wanna write seijoh!hinata aghhh)

* they do sit down to watch replays of each other's games and analyse their own plays. it's serious talk. volleyball idiots

* they rewatch their olympic match tgt, since they were both there

* oikawa will complain the whole way about being better than kageyama and how he can do better than kageyama (a wild ushijima appears! "u should have stayed in japan") but really oikawa's just saying all of that cos he's jealous and doesn't like it when other people set to hinata.

*******

ah. my life is consumed by oihina. there is no end. i want write atsuhina angst with oihina endgame

requests are open! send me an ask~ rules are pinned

masterlist

[clumsyclifford]

just finished writing this and realized how long it got oh jeez i am so sorry. i promise it is just me rambling about nothing and does not require a lot of thought.

i made a playlist of r5's entire discography and am listening to it (in order) because there is something wrong with me. if only it had their very first ever ep on it (ready set rock ep you may have been slight garbage but i don't love you any less for it). oh god i realized i fucked up and didn't add the songs by "ross lynch and r5" from the austin & ally soundtrack. i'm already three songs into louder and they would have been between louder and say you'll stay. what do i have to do is actually one of r5's best songs and i'm pretty sure i remember ross calling it one of his favs fairly recently?? which was so valid of him. anyways. this is now an r5 song ranking. i'm bored and avoiding doing assignments. i'm going to name my top 10 r5 songs off the top of my head. source: me trying to remember every song they've ever released.

no. 1: easy love. nothing comes close. my fav song they ever made. they haven't made anything that even compares since (this is /hj. tde has some valid songs).

no. 2: wishing i was 23. what do you mean i only love this song because of my nostalgia bias no i don't.

no. 3: what do i have to do? i will not elaborate i do not know why i adore this song as much as i do it's just a cute song.

no. 4: repeating days. THE END. THE FUCKING END AFTER THE SONG ENDS THE "all i've got is cheap wine" PART ross sounds so vulnerable and him with just the guitar makes me so :(((((( it's so gorgeous that part makes the whole song and that makes it top 3 for me.

no. 5: i want u bad. THAT SONG FUCKS LIVE. I DO NOT WANT TO THINK ABOUT THE FACT THAT I WILL PROBABLY NEVER SEE IT LIVE AGAIN. (speaking of concerts i can't believe you bought concert tix and fucking forgot??? that is actually so fucking funny bella it made me laugh i will not lie)

no. 6: dark side. so so valid of them. it just fucks. it's so good. it makes u want to dance. u named a fic after a lyric from it which was so valid.

no. 7: did you have your fun? i love this song. no i will not elaborate. it is a sexy song. what's that one lyric from it that's hot. "love me, leave me, left me numb" some lyrics you love for no particular reason and for me that's one of those lyrics.

no. 8: f.e.e.l.g.o.o.d. this has alwayysss been one of my favs by them. since it dropped. some lore about it: the like crowd yelling that's in it they recorded live at a festival they played and i remember there being hype about this being an unreleased song when they had the crowd chanting "f-e-e-l-g-o-o-d" with no explanation. also another fun fact is that the final version of this is just a demo?? source: my slightly faulty memory remembering ross saying something about some demos being so good that you keep them as they are and it later being revealed this was the song he was talking about.

no. 9: i know you got away. sexy song. they released a vocals only version of it (that has apparently since been deleted?? i went to look for it on youtube and couldn't find it?? wtf r5) that has stuck with me ever since.

no. 10: loud. but more specifically the acoustic or live version. this was their encore song that they played to end every show. i MISS IT. it holds a special place in my heart.

honorable mentions: hurts good (a good song and THEIR LAST THEY EVER RELEASED VV SAD), wild hearts (fun fact almost picked a lyric from this song as my senior quote till i found out they didn't write this song), fallin' for you (YOU LIKE MISMATCHED SOCKS WITH POLKA DOTS YOU LIKE YOUR PIZZA COLD I THINK THATS HOT i never saw this song live and i'm still fucking pissed about it ok), do it again (it's such a sweet song :(((( "listen to the airplanes as we count the stars" gives me the same vibes as six feet under the stars), things are looking up (generally just a cute song!! this whole ep is just very good and very cute!! when i saw it live one time during the bridge ross was like "everyone shut up this is my favorite part >:(" and that was so valid of him) i can't say i'm in love (it's just a fun song!! it was a bonus track on sln from another country), trading time (this is the only song from the new addictions ep that i listed and u know what i'm Not sorry)

ok. i will spare you and stop rambling. other honorable mentions: if you have never listened to cool girl (feat. the driver era) by new beat fund i highly recommend. it's an okay song but it was one of the first songs released after they rebranded as tde and includes ross saying motherfucker with his whole chest. i will never again feel what i felt the first time i heard that song having listened exclusively to them as r5 whose songs they couldn't curse in because they were on a disney label.

in conclusion. i miss r5. ross saying fuck is kinda hot. i listened to the entirety of louder while writing this. i am sorry to dump this in your askbox. i still have multiple assignments to do and should probably go to sleep at a decent time. it feels fitting to finally stop writing while easy love is on. when i was 12 and this ep came out i thought "dirtbags" was a curse word and was scared to sing it. they changed it to "douchebags" live.

that's all. goodbye. have a lovely night. listen to r5's discography for clear skin thriving crops etc etc. sorry to lovepost about them in your askbox i only have (1) former r5 mutual that i still talk to (a very interesting but long story. she's the gemini bestie) and she will only lovepost about r5 once in a while. feel free to ignore my ask calling cody bellinger hot i was a different person when i wrote it i am now a changed woman. LOVE YOU MWAH - bella but she misses r5

hi hi im going to answer this with minimal thought because im tired but i dont wanna leave this sitting in my inbox forever but for the record all your r5 opinions are valid. ok lets go

1. easy love slaps ive heard it a couple times over the last few days (it played in the car today while i was driving sam n meghna to the airport) and it does fuck i can see why it's your fave

2. i do not know this song

3. A BOP A WHOLE FUCKIN BOP

4. oh i do love repeating days great choice i would have to hear it a few more times to get it in my head but i remember really liking it when i listened to the album it's on

5. also a banger and i'm glad my concert tickets situation made you laugh it made me laugh too imagine being this useless gldskfjgs

6. DARK SIDE FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS GIVE IN TO YOUR DARK SIDE YOUR DARK SIDE IIIIIIIII SEE THE WAY YOU LOOK AT MEEEEE

7. ANOTHER FUCKING BANGER this one is probably among my favorite r5 songs maybe top 5 LOVE ME LEAVE ME LEFT ME NUMB (guitar moment) DID YOU HAVE YOUR FUUUuuuuUUUUUNNNNN i feel the same way about this lyric as you

8. oh shit thats pretty cool i dont know this song tbh i cant remember how it goes i know ive heard it once or twice but. id have to listen to it again so i will keep you posted on that

9. i do not know this one either

10. interesting choice for top ten but i support you, this song fucks and ever since you mentioned it it's been in my subconscious and randomly getting stuck in my head i think i need to listen to it to get it out. it does hit ur right

11. i don't know hurts good or wild hearts or things are looking up or i can't say i'm in love or trading time well enough to say anything about them. but i really like fallin for you it's one of those cheap fun songs but emphasis on fun, and also really like do it again one day ill write a fic based on that song

i have not listened to cool girl i put it on my to listen playlist so hopefully i remember to listen to it soon ill be honest though i dont think im prepared for ross lynch saying motherfucker w his whole chest like i think itll take me out. so. anyway. i hope you got your assignments done. thank you for the r5 lovedump feel free to drop in anytime with more