#cannot BELIEVE I forgot how much that song SLAPS
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terraether · 2 years ago
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I was tagged by @aspeckof-stardust ty friend :) !!
My top spotify songs and artists from the last month on receiptify
Here’s the link
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tagging: @starkdusk @onlyyseedaylight @dadjoelmiller @sweptawayinthegray @tisthedamnseasns @caffelattte @swiftpascal v @sighscraper @iwannabeacowboylikeme @likethegardens any other mutual or follower or swiftie mutuals that I missed !
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annathesimple · 2 years ago
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As a Ukrainian watching this year's competition while my country is being ravaged by Russia, and we are champions of the event this year, I cannot even BEGIN to tell you how disrespectfull his song is.
He is singing about things he has never experienced.
He is not a soldier, nor is he at a frontline.
Ukrainian soldiers aren't fighting just because they *checks notes* forgot themselves in play-violence? Yes, this is real blood, and that's exactly why we respect people who decide to risk their lives to defend us so much.
I feel like he believes the war is caused by toxic masculinity and that's it???
You don't want to be a soldier? Well, I do. I want to have an opportunity to fight for my country hovewer I can. I want us to have real guns in our hands to save those dear to us. There is NOTHING "gray" in this situation, we haven't started a war because of some illusionary concept, it was started by Russia, an agressor, and we have jzust been defending our state after it was invaded.
Anyway, this song is a slap to the face, a spit, and extremely disrespectful.
My skin crawls every time I hear it.
WHO THE FUCK VOTED FOR SWITZERLAND
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embodyingchaos · 1 year ago
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Hey Aliceee luv I hope ur well I just read it fic and this is my review
Warning maybe spoilers-
I LOVE EDEN AND ABNER MAN POWER COUPLE✋🙄 FRR
THE FACT EDEN IS A LANA DEL REY GIRLY 😌 ( I’m curious what’s her favorite song 👀)
Fr tho dude the way I was so upset when I reached the tags. WE NEED MORE OH MY GOD I CANNOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART I CAN TELL U PUT SO MUCH LOVE INTO THIS LIKE IM GOING TO READ IT AGAIN. NO JOKE.
the part that touched me was when Eden was talking about how she likes polkadots ( SHE ADDED THEM TO THE BUNNY’S SWEATER) LIKE WIBSUWBUWBWIE I LOVED THAT DETAIL WAYYY TOO MUCH AND ABNER’S REACTION LIKE 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I JUDT CANT
also the name of the fic heart to heart one of my favorite songs bro ✋😩
I also loveeeeeee ur characterization for abner it’s just chef kiss bro 🫶 ( the fact u made him say fiddlesticks…….respect man)
OK IK MY REVIEW IS ALL OVER THE PLACE IM JUST VERY EXCITED AND CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PART IM INVESTED NOW I NEED TO SEE WHAT ABNER IS GONNA DO NEXT
-⭐️
❥ HI STAR, YOU CANNOT BELIEVE HOW EXCITED I AM TO READ YOUR REVIEW AAAAAAA
THANK YOUUU i was thinking of ship names and one of them would be abden or edner HEHEHEHEH BUT I WANTED A SHIP NAME FOR THEIR SUPERHERO NAMES AS WELL SO ILL THINK ABOUT THOSE LATER ON
eden's fave song would definitely be video games or cinnamon girl
HAHAHA i was rlly struggling on knowing when to end the chap but i believed eden going to jail would be the best place to put a cliffhanger HEHEHEH
IVE ALREADY DECIDED MY POSTING SCHEDULE AND HEART TO HEART SHOULD BE UPDATED ONCE A WEEK ON EITHER WEDNESDAY OR SATURDAY
omg yeah i had that idea for her to like polka dots before she even knew his illness so that it can open up to possible cute sentences in the future HEHEHEH the fluffness will be UNREAL
the fact you knew i named the fic after heart to heart by mac demarco <3
THANK YOU SO MUCHHH, i always pictured him to be extremely shy and self-conscious, but also he rambles a lot when he's in a comfy environment !! and of course, he must say fiddlesticks, it's so adorable- I BET YOU THAT HE ALSO SAYS STUFF LIKE "oh slap me silly, i forgot (insert smth that he forgot)" HAHAHA
AAA IM SO GLAD YOU'RE EXCITED, I CAN DEFINITELY TELL YOU THAT THE NEXT CHAPTER IS GOING TO BE ABOUT HOW ABNER GETS INTO BELLE REVE AND THERE WILL BE A FEW TIME SKIPS!!
hopefully the chapter will be up by next saturday if i find the time to write!
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ndlesswoods · 2 years ago
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SPOILER first thoughts on SGE film pt 1
this will be in bullet point but will be quite wordy, and it's just part 1. also not proofread so fair warning! first time giving Actual Opinions and it's just me spitballing but anyone can take it as they wish
listened to the first 4 songs on the OST when it was released, and after watching the movie, the OST still SLAPS
brutal, however, does not slap. as much as I love olivia rodrigo, brutal did not need to be there. and when the ending was okay, the accompanying modern music definitely ruined the okayness. couldn’t stand the credits and I watched all of it hshshsjks
costumes overall are so good. some were questionable (that initial theory that Agatha's poofy pink-purple dress in the trial by tale was early on in the movie and that it represented her not fitting into good that well yet? I believed that, and yea I don’t think it's symbolising anything now), choices in the makeup department are also questionable (hello Sophie nude lip, cannot get over you + never!Tedros facial scars??) - but overall, loved them I swear. Beatrix and Millicent were my favourites
somehow the characters were more… underdeveloped in the movie than they were in the books. a typical and forgivable choice yes, but why add new *characters* for certain one-liners when you could’ve just given them to the existing, underdeveloped ones?? (Chaddick, hi, I’m so sorry. you too Reena, Anadil)
uhhhh story progression. or rather, story fragments they chose to take away that I find are actually important to understand the twist later on? i.e. the whole nemesis thing and the Good and Evil rules. - like yes I totally get that they wanted to be subtle, that they wanted the viewers to be like “oh wow I totally forgot about that” but MAN. people will not remember smth that just seems like ordinary Dovey Being Good. and the nemesis dreams & symptoms weren’t even mentioned! from a non-fan’s perspective, that one wart was nothing. I dunno I dunno but the impact just wasn’t there
speaking of important lines. actually so disappointed “you were beautiful all along” didn’t make it. I understand why they didn’t dwell on it as it would make the [already 2.5hr long] movie dragging but there probably was some other way that I cannot cite right now
that said, I guess they really wanted to shift the message of the books? from messages about inner beauty and breaking standards, it’s really now focused on their friendship and that gray area between good and evil. which is nice in its own way
hahaaaa I did expect that a lot of class scenes would be cut, but erm. we literally only get 3 classes, and one wasn’t that useful. really thought they’d change the coffin scene into smth else that conveyed the message but guess not. again, dragging movie concerns
how could I forget the point of Sophie being Evil. or was she really? Gavaldon Sophie wasn’t that bad. in fact, she seemed like every other teenage girl until she came to the school. her Evil started to show there at least, esp in Room 66 - but that full 180 with Hester. I did not like that. how did they go from Sophie almost killing both Hester and her demon to Hester suddenly being okay with a truce through facials?? just because Sophie got a haircut?? and started being… less princess-looking? please
I’m aware I’m being too critical and nitpicky now so here are some things I liked
I've mentioned the OST and the costumes BUT OH the set! we've seen it all in stills and trailers but it really is as magical <3 kudos to the set design & production team!!!
Gregor Charming. cute. when I saw/heard his name, I remembered seeing it on the OST but I hadn’t listened to it yet. I liked the short character buildup, comedic timings and all, and actually showing the viewers how messed up the school can be with his “expulsion”. also it makes the whole Tedros killing the just-mogrified stymph even more jarring for Agatha
Tagatha! adorable babies. I liked their friendship. definitely the same, if not a little more than what was shown in the books. you can really see how Agatha gets comfortable with him, as does Tedros - cute inside jokes. love that. AND A KISS - I cackled when Tedros said he loved Agatha at the ball. It was a very book!Tedros move and I approve
Trial by Tale was fair. it’s made more minor and more swift but the point was taken across
Anemone's more complex personality and background BIG YES! You go Michelle Yeoh
I also liiiiked The Never Ball! Sophie turning up as a hag, the whole Nevers become Evers and vice versa, and the fight that broke out between the schools. Very nice, very good, and the modern music here was g
the whole cast really, but Sofia Wylie and Kerry Washington in particular. I love them. The way they portrayed Agatha and Dovey was straight out of the book imo, but they made it their own at the same time. Obsessed.
can't think of anything else atm bc I went out and am tired as heck but would rate 7/10! enjoyed it well minus the qualms I mentioned that's it for now? will make a pt 2 when I've really processed everything tomorrow
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cornacopicimagines · 4 years ago
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A Rose Blooms │t.h
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pairing: prince!tom holland x princess!reader
words: 8.4k (WHOOPS)
warnings: arranged marriage, SMUT (we been knew), slight praise kink and 10000% breeding kink, therefore unprotected sex, swearing, slight cockwarming & good lord there is so much
summary: Perhaps God does have a sick sense of humour. To allow such misguided souls to one another. Souls that shouldn't be allowed to feel the sense of happiness he can provide, that should accept their dire situations. The Prince of Wales and his new bride can attest to the quite well. 
a/n: what do y'all mean a historical prince au!tom holland with major smut and breeding kink is not a thing. i know the sluts want it, even if they never ask for it. i must provide it.
masterlist
━━★✼☆。
y/n of Burgundy was a splendid piece of artwork. A sweet and humble French Princess with a huge dowry and a bright future. It was as if DaVinci had casted the girl from Venus's shadow and gifted the baby to displeased parents. Parents who so wished for a boy, that the arrival of a healthy girl is so overlooked that the girl is better off dead. The sadness is heard across not only France but the entirety of Europe. Poor y/n of Burgundy! The Unlucky Princess of Burgundy! It's all she hears; she is deemed a tragedy before her life is even written. Perhaps that is her greatest misdeed in this life, that because she is born the wrong sex to what is expected she is casted to the side as a woman destined for slight and anguish for her entire life. Even if this is the case, y/n wished to think of herself as unwritten for the moment being. A woman waiting for a calling no matter how big or small. A woman who's only current wish to sit atop this windowsill, letting the cool September French breeze kiss her flushed cheeks. Alas, even this is stripped from her.
"Get off the window, y/n!" her mother's shrill voice shrieks as The Duchess yanks y/n to the floor. It's harsh and frantic, as if an arrow is to fly through and hit her. Her tightly coiled chest hit's the wooden floor hard. It knocks the only wind y/n really has left, a wasteful shame.
"I am sorry mama," y/n responds quietly, her hands desperately pat to find a piece of wood that will not cut up into her as she attempts to regain her balance. Though her room is filled with four maids not a single one offers their own hand to help her. She knows it is because of her mother's cowl. If they dare so move in a direction towards her, The Duchess will become a Fury of Hell himself.
"The breeze is so sweet at this time of afternoon." Finally, y/n does place her feet back on the floor with a small clack of her heels. She takes a moment to take in the state of her gown. While she has countless others, something about the pure white of the satin being destroyed by the inevitable dust that has collected is disheartening even to her. The pattern of bright red roses now looks more of a dull blood grey than a true flower.
"The breeze is something so frivolous my dear," The Duchess is suddenly content with her surroundings. "Busy yourself with something more intelligent, it makes for a much better bride." 
"Thank you for the wise advice mother," y/n snaps, her fingers gripping the ruined material of her gown. "I'll be sure to not engage myself in something that gives me the slightest bit of freedom in the lifeless castle," it was no louder than a whisper. Her braided hair still muffling the sounds.
As if her words seemed to not even reach her, The Duchess mumbles in agreement before taking her leave. The door shutting loudly behind her, the air was finally safe to breathe. The maids immediately begin to swarm her. Like flies to honey; they grapple her, prod at her and pinch her. It was too much. It was as if a million ants had swarmed her body, nipping at any piece of flesh they could just because it was what they were meant to do. An instinctive need to draw more blood than necessary, it was overwhelming. They inspected her perfectly capable hands, wondering if their incompetence has cost them their heads because y/n of Brittany split her blood and The Duchess refused to let them help. She was suffocating.
She didn't mean for it to slip, it just did. Her voice raised, "Get out." It was softer at first. "Get out," they still didn't move, still abusing her. "I said get out!" Everything stopped for a moment, the air her mother had ensued had now come back. The maids all took a single step away from her. y/n felt the tears threaten her, warning by dancing across her lower lashes. "Do none of you listen, get out for Christ’s sake!" That's all it took, in a matter of seconds y/n was finally alone. She could hear the faint song of the trees whispering to her, it was calm, but she couldn't appreciate it. She dropped to her knees and began to softly weep into her palms. The groans muffled by the skin of her hands and the tears halted from falling by her fingers. In this moment and forever ahead of her, she was desolate.
But like all things, even this bleak minute of sorrow was cut to an end by the deafening sound of her father's boots storming down the hallways towards her room.
━━★✼☆。
Tom spectated as the pole shattered into a thousand pieces. The splinters hitting ever edge of the arena. He watched as the knight fell limp and as his horse rode on through the chaos. The young prince roared out of his seat, his knees hitting the harsh wood of the royal box. His name echoed on the young knight's medallion above his breast. He had picked the winning side and rightfully so, Sir Harrison had never been defeated. For a moment, Tom turned around to face his beaming mother. A woman who loved the games, Tom always relied on his mother to accompany him to these festivities but his father. The Prince would always ask graciously but was refused every time. Constantly belittled for the consul of old men with a working cock between them, it was a joke. The King had many failed efforts to rile the English people to cause, Tom had offered a large gathering to help inspire the people. The King told his son this would cause nothing but useless panic and many painful deaths. Scoffing, Tom waltzed back to his seat. It was uncomfortable, it felt as if ants hand made their nets below the seat's support. He wished to ride alongside them.
"You cannot and you will not," The Queen smiled at him, waving to squires as they led the horses away. Tom's head swivelled around to meet his mother's. "I refuse it my son."
"I had said nothing mother," Tom replied quietly, he too doing his duty to the lower noble men who had come out today. Each one sweatier than the last. "Perhaps you are hearing things, 10 childbirths can change a woman's mind," Tom stifled a laugh, too which he received a slap on the arm for.
"Don't play smart with me son," The Queen spoke coolly, her countless rings clanged as she rose from her seat. Tom followed suit, allowing a hand for his now middle-aged mother for gracious help down the impossibly large stairs. "I almost lost your father to one of these silly little cock shows, I will not go through it with you my boy."
Tom raised an eyebrow, watching his mother's golden trim become bleaker by the stain of the grass. "I had half a mind to believe you enjoyed these silly little cock shows," Tom played. The Queen peered up at his through hooded lids. It was dangerous waters even for him, a man who has seen the blood of war. He allowed his mother and her ladies to return to Windsor, watching as if to wait for the shark to disappear.
"Your Royal Highness, if I may have a word," a soft voice called out from below the podium. Tom paced to the edge and stared down. Constance, he thought to himself as he smiled wickedly. She was a short and mildly plump woman, with wild unruly hair that had to be constantly shoved out of her face. He remembers her name because of how sweet his name sounded dripping from her tongue. Countless nights spent in the throes of passion, wearing moonlight as cloth. Tom knew he had dishonoured her just by bedding her, but he couldn't help himself. She was the first woman who really took an interest in him. Still, he had to come to her aid on multiple occasions. While he likes the way, she grips at his biceps, he however, doesn't like when her father comes storming into court demanding his daughter's honour back because Tom had prayed on her. Perhaps, it was the odd lack of ladies that would flock to his side or maybe it was simply because he wanted a little bit of fun before the inevitable. 
"You may, my Lady," Tom smiled widely making his way to her side. He could tell the mud was ruining the polished leather of his boots, he completely forgot about his favourite riding boots he had put on in hopes that he may indulge himself in the sports. Still, he pushed the though deep down at met her eyes. He not an unusually tall man but the way he almost dwarfed her was delectable. As he watched her squirm, he wondered as to why she would speak with him where anyone could see. There was no danger for him, but the world's eyes were on her.
She played with the small ring on her pinkie finger, riding it up and down the skin. "Why did you not tell me," she whispered, refusing to look up at him. Tears began to well.
"What on earth do you mean?" He queered, genuinely curious as to what had got her all worked up. His hands went to stroke her cheek gently, but she abruptly pulled away from him. This time her eyes did meet his, the salty liquid glossed over her eyes.
"It is bad enough that I am called the Prince's Whore but now they are cursing my name because I have ruined the royal couple!" she cried out, her deep green dress swallowing the mud below. "That a stupid maid slut has stolen you away from the beautiful French Princess!"
Tom saw nothing but red. Not because of Constance but because of what she said to him. He had begged his parents to let him choose his own wife. If he was to rule England after his father's passing, he wished to at least have a woman whom he truly loved by his side. He said nothing to her as he stormed away. The small drizzle of rain hitting his skin as he picked up his speed. He knew that his father was in a council meeting alongside his mother. Perfect opportunity to unleash his rage. He faintly heard her calling after him, that was muffled by the buzzing in his ears.
He had been told who he was meant to be and what he was meant to be from the moment he was born. Hardly ever seeing his mother or younger brothers because he was eldest, never knowing true companionship because he would be constantly cooped up listening to his advisors and tutors as they taught him the art of war and foreign policies. This was his one chance to spend his life with a woman who understood him and would grow a loving family much in contrast to what he had.
His hands pushed the heavy wooden doors, they hit the walls with a large smack. The entire council stood for the Prince, with the exception of his mother and sickly father. He walked past them with ease and took his seat at the opposite end of table. His eyes focused solely on his father as he absently noted the appearance of his son.
"Wonderful of you to finally join us," The Duke of Essex smiled weakly, in any attempt to deflect the tension elsewhere.
"When were you going to tell me?" Tom spoke, his voice barely above a whisper and laced with venom. His elbows digging into the cool wood of granite of the table. He watched his father finally face him; the man was a wreck. His greying hair stuck to his hair with copious amounts of sweat, his brown eyes had sunk deadly back into the sockets and his skin was pale and filled with wrinkles. "When were you going to tell me father?"
"You were spending too much time with that scullery maid," The King respond calmly, still flipping through royal documents. Tom was on the verge of an explosion. If the Prince was known for something, it was his anger. Much like Mount Vesuvius, he didn't get angry often, he hated how it affect those around him. The times he is pushed to the breaking point however, he was destroy everything in his path. "We had to put an end to it."
"We?" Tom pushed.
"Your mother made the arrangements; she is being brought here as we speak." Once more, the King had no interest with the devastated look on the Prince's face. Too caught up in an attempt to stile a cough.
"You promised me my own choice of bride," Tom seethed. He faced his mother, if the King wouldn't listen perhaps the Queen would.
His mother sighed; the silk of her sleeves draped over the arms of the chair. "That was before you had instinctively made the choice, we hoped that perhaps you would have fallen for the daughter of a Duke or at worst an Earl. You were going to marry that girl, after everything her family has done against the court. We couldn't allow it."
Tom jaw clicked. "Who is she?" He was done arguing, done protesting.
"You'll marry the granddaughter of the French King; y/n of Burgundy," his father spoke up before his mother could sugar coat it. "The family sent a portrait of the girl as the first payment of her dowry; it has already been placed in your room. Hopefully, you can find the slightest bit of attraction for your new bride before the wedding."
"Will I get to meet her beforehand?" He at least hoped to see the girl with his own eyes before calling her his wife. Finally, the King met his eyes. He dropped the quill on the desk as locked his eyes, leaning towards him.
"Did you really think you'd get that luxury?"
━━★✼☆。
The sea breeze prickled at y/n skin as she sat atop the deck. She could tell they were getting closer. The wind went from a soft tone to a howling scream, something her great aunt had told her all about. English weather could go from a perfect sunny day to god's worst mood. In all honesty, she preferred it to French. It was wild and unpredictable, something she so desperately needed.
She remembered how she got into this predicament as she lay down a 9 ace on the table. Waiting for the ship to land.
"You'll leave tomorrow, it will take you a good couple of days to get there." Her father exclaimed, picking a raspberry from the plate and eating the sweet fruit. y/n stood in silence, still reeling her tears back into her eyes. She refused to weep in front of the Duke. She moved around the large room, in order to hear his words. "You'll make a fine queen," he smiled, placing his hands atop her cheeks. y/n smiled warmly before raising a concern.
"How do you know this will be different than the last?" she asked quietly, staring down at her shoes. Her father sighs before picked his coat up from the chair.
y/n placed her bets, her hand is exquisite. Three queen and a pair of Kings. If she doesn't win, it's as if God is going against her. The men that sit beside her raise their brows in confusion. She's not backing down.
"Because, you know their language and their culture from Great Aunt Mary. You were her favourite after all," her father tells her, the memory of the old lady teaching her English brings a curve to her lips. That was not the answer she was looking for, however. Her father knows it as well, he knows the answer she wants but he cannot give it to her. "Trust me pumpkin," the endearment is wonderful. Unlike her mother, y/n's father has always been kind to her. She doesn't know if it because she is his eldest daughter or because her brother is a lousy boy and she is the only child with a head still attached to her shoulder blades.
She releases her tension; she knows whatever comes out of this she must go along with it. She must accept whatever situation is handed to her and accept her duty as a future queen and mother to the English Throne.
y/n squeals, her hand's won. The rest of the chips are placed in her corner, she is asking if they want to go another round but instead, they all huff and walk away from her. y/n feels her heart sink into her stomach. Perhaps the English wind has turned their moods sour. Soon enough her worries are washed away as the boat docks into Brighton and y/n hears the cheers for her. She can't exactly make out what they are saying. Sadly, she doesn't get a chance to even greet her new subjects as her new English ladies are gently pushing her towards the carriage. The only thing she can do is wave and smile at them, hoping to instil a fraction of hope for the new royal couple. As she steps into the carriage, a huge white dress follows her. The abundance of ladies and herself are stuck in the cramped space for a little over an hour before they start agreeing to change her dress into the one being coddled.
"Why? This is dress is perfect as it is," y/n laughed gently, her fingers playing with the pearls that lace the neckline.
"Forgive me, my lady, but His Majesty; The King has requested that you wear a white gown." One of the younger girls pipes up. Sighing, y/n nods her head to agree and goes to stop the carriage.
While they don't completely undress her, she knows that the smock under her dress is shear and leave nothing to the imagination. Quickly they strip her of the current dress, even unlacing the corset before adding another one. As they place the soft silk of her veil over her head, she can hear the ringing bells at Westminster. It hasn't completely dawned on her what she is exactly going through. Marrying a man she has never met. Marrying a man for all she knows could be a tyrant. She's heard quite a few English Monarchs fall under that said category. Her heart started to jump now; she could fell the beat thump against her vocal box.
The people began to line the city. Countless bodies waved at her as she strolled through the city of London. The abbey somehow seemed ten times bigger in person. White rose petals fell through the air as the coachman opened the door for her. The walkway was paved with red velvet. Her heels felt as though she was ruining the beautiful material as she walked.
Tom can physically hear her pounding heartbeat from where he stands. He can't exactly make out her face, but he can see the white gown strutting towards him. It's the same patterns as the dress his mother wore more than 20 years ago. He's seen it in countless paintings, his mother scowling as she attempts to salvage any positive thing out of such tremendous pain. Harrison lays a hand on his shoulder; the contact makes him jump.
"I heard she looks like a siren," he joked, dusting a small particle of fluff off Tom's shoulder. "Perhaps she'll sound like one too," the comment was enough to grant the knight a hard whack on his arm from the Prince. He truly did wonder if she would as beautiful as the painting which depicted her. A small red rose for his house in her fingertips as she grinned softly. It was as if she was staring into his soul.
Tom reached out to allow her aid in getting up the stairs. She graciously accepted muttering a small thank you as her other hand lifted the countless layers of fabric to mend her steps. Her touch was soft, something he wasn't used to. The gentle touch of a noble woman, even if it was only upon his fingers. The entirety of Westminster Abbey went silent as the faced each other.
y/n could barely hear anything over her rampant anxiety. Though she was eased slightly as she blindly grasped at his fingers, she was afraid she gripped a little too tightly. Finally, she stood in front of him. The gown dipping down the stairs to end in her ladies' hands. She wondered what she looked like to him. Wondering if it was a glorious sight to witness a new bride waltzing towards him. Or if it was one of dread, to be in holy matrimony with someone you've just met for the first time. She's still trying to decide between the two.
The ceremony was beautiful. A simply yet elegant affair, as two young royals wed. She knows that she is marrying the Prince of Wales, a worthy husband for any noble woman. Yet she can't help the dread that builds as the Archbishop drones on. The hymns falling deaf ears. She tries to pay attention, but she can’t, all she can hear is the drumming of her heartbeat. It pounds against her ribs, creating echoes in her head. Before she knows it, his hands reach for hers. There was no strength in his grip unlike beforehand, it was soft and gentle. As if she was a beautiful yet delicate doll, that she would completely shatter if he pressed just that bit too hard. Their fingertips locked; her skin fell into the ridges of his knuckles.
“I proclaim thee, y/n of Burgundy to be my lawfully wedded wife from now until the end of my days,” he hesitated. She could hear it in his voice. “She shall sit beside me as I rule the kingdom.” The ring passes down her skin, the metal biting at her finger.
She repeats him. “I proclaim thee, Thomas – Prince of Wales to be my lawfully wedded husband from now until the end of my days. I shall sit beside him as he rules this beautiful country.” She smiles at the end, though she never intends to. y/n thanks her ladies that they cover her grinning face behind the thick white lace of her veil.
The entirety of Westminster Abbey is silent, no one dares even breathe as Prince Thomas coils his fingers around the tipping of the lace. He lifts it over his now wife’s face. He taken aback slightly. The painter wasn’t paid enough, clearly. She was even more beautiful standing in front of him. The same clear complexion now glistening in the soft sunlight of England. He doesn’t pry of course; it would be rude of him. Just to stare at his bride, as if they were the only people in the hall. Good lord, does he wish it was.
His hands reach her cheeks. Tender once more, he brings her forward. She shifts on her feet as they meet. A quaint and soft kiss, unlike anything either of them has felt ever. He can’t remember the last time, it was this – well, gentle. Thomas doubts he has ever kissed a woman of such luxury in his entire life up to this point. y/n is the first to pull away, her fingers resting lightly on his raised wrists. Their eyes meet for a moment, a short moment.
Westminster Abbey erupts into celebration. Red rose petals fall from the ceiling and music begins to flood the area.
As she stared around, y/n began to think to herself. I do not know what will come out of this, but I already can see that joy my presence brings to these people. I shall not let them down.
Prince Thomas of England, Heir to The English Throne and y/n of Burgundy, Granddaughter of The French King had been wed. They were now locked in holy matrimony, a feeling unlike any other. Both horrendous and hospitable.
━━★✼☆。
The Hall is a grand party. Laughing and singing is heard from every corner, mugs of beer and wine are flung across tables and scraps of food are being thrown to the dogs. y/n has never seen such a scene unfold. Too contained by the prudish French court. The most scandalous thing she has seen is a risqué dance meant to be for a married lover.
That is what she always despised about the French Nobility. Their secrets. Whispers and Rumours spread faster than fire. If you had committed some heinous act, the entirety of France will hear about it by the end of the week. Perhaps that is another reason why she felt so trapped in Burgundy. y/n could never do a single task on her own before her ladies’ loose tongue would find their way back to her mother. A delicate little flower, such a waste of potential.
Tom noticed her prodding, her fork twirling the few peas left on her plate. He hadn’t said a word to her all night and yet he looks at her if she’s unwillingly to speak. Does she know any basic English? Perhaps not.
“How are you liking the food,” Tom asked her, leaning into her. She smiled up at him, he spoke to her in French. It made her heart swell for a second. y/n turns to face him, smiling warmly. Tom wishes he could keep that smile forever.
“It’s is very well Your Grace,” y/n replies to him. Her flawless English rolling off her tongue with a petite French accent. It’s like heaven to his ears and he’s taken aback. “My Great Aunt was an English Countess, I loved her very much. I was fluent in English before I was 8.” She explained, almost as if she had read his mind.
“You need not call me Your Grace,” he teased, it was somewhat natural for him.
“Then what shall I call you?” y/n queered.
“I am your husband now, whatever pleases you pleases me,” Tom replied, turning back to his empty plate in an effort to hide the rising red flush on his face. y/n knew she should leave it at that, so she turned her attention elsewhere.
“Are royal weddings usually this,” she paused, “loud?”
Tom laughed quietly, he too turned to face the ruckus crowd. Men laying in the laps of maids, dogs feasting over food that had been flung across the floor. Loud chants to the beat of the music filled the hall. He would have been completely embarrassed by the state of his people in front of his new bride, if he hadn’t seen the amused look on her face. “Not usually, I have only been to one other wedding and that was extremely sombre.”
“How so?” she asked, sipping from the freshly poured wine.
“I went to my uncle’s wedding a few months ago. He had also married a noble woman like yourself, but the poor thing was only 11. My uncle was 35 and counting.” He wishes it was different but like all things in this world, he is powerless to the wills of those who think they are higher than others.
He peered at her; y/n was already looking at him. An eyebrow and a lip raised in disgust. It was quaint.
“I wish I could be more repulsed by that,” Tom wondered if she was joking or if she was serious. He couldn’t tell just by the use of her tone. He did however note her wit. Something he so longed for. They talked for hours, sitting by one another and discussing anything that arrived at the conversation. Tom can’t decide whether it’s her honey-like voice or her banter but it’s making him feel things no one should for someone they are being forced to wed.
Just while they are comparing the contrasting jousting techniques, the joyful music suddenly stops. It’s a quick snap and the entire hall is now dead quiet. The Earl of Salisbury mounts himself on one of the tables. His cheeks red with drunkenness.
The Earl points directly at y/n and Tom as they sit in confusion. “The final tradition, an honour for any noble man. The Great Bedding!”
y/n turns to Tom, clinging slightly to his sleeve. He takes immediate notice. “Thomas, what is The Great Bedding?” There was great concern in her voice as she watched all of the men rush towards them. He didn’t get to answer as the women abruptly hauled him out of his seat and down the hall, away from her.
y/n didn’t fear too well either. At least a dozen grimy hands placed themselves all over her body, pulling harshly as they brought her into the air. Dancing her down the halls. She constantly whacked their hands, to no avail of course. They only dropped her once they got to a dimly lit room.
It was already buzzing with people. Hustling around a single bed, covered by finely woven silk. The men dropped her gently, placing her feet against the ground. y/n tried to turn around to give them a piece of her mind but was stopped as her corset began to become loose around her waist. Incredibly uncomfortable, y/n looked up to distract herself in any regard and found Tom at the other side. The maid’s hands undoing every buckle of his coat, tiny fingers unthreading the lavish ropes across his body. y/n blushed at the sight.
Tom was trying his hardest not to look at her, not to stare as countless men of the court undressing her. He could hear the bulky wedding dress hit the floor of the room, he could feel her eyes on him, and he could see the variety of unknown nobles swarming them in any hopes to achieve the right to gossip tomorrow morning. It was despicable.
He climbed in first, the cotton of the blankets itching his skin as he settled. The only comfort he found was in the softness in his unkempt hair. Not restricted by the gel he was forced to wear.
y/n slowly followed his lead, it was dead silent. No one dared breathed as the new Princess of Wales found her spot next to The Prince. All the while, the exact same priest Archbishop chanted away, and priests flung holy water at the bed. Some of the liquid found itself on her skin. Finally, the crowd bowed to the couple and began to take their leave.
Tom watched in peace; he would be alone. He closed his eyes and let out a soft sigh, perhaps he would be able to get some well needed sleep. That seemed achievable until he felt a cold grasp around his wrist. His eyes shot open to find his father’s glare directly at him. “Don’t let the spring pass, I hope to see a grandson in the next few months,” The King spat.
It had been hours since the quarry of guests had left the room but the the monarch’s words etched themselves into his mind. Echoing nonstop, getting wilder as Tom felt y/n settle herself next to him. The mere presence of her alongside the duty he had to fulfil was too much for him. Tom shot up and quickly gathered his things, hauling his boots and clothes. He couldn’t be near her for another moment, too afraid of what he might do if she was subject to this sort of cruel punishment. Tom quickly decided he was sleep next door, just far away to have the thoughts no longer plague his mind but not too far that he would impose the wrong meaning on her. He reached for the door when she chimed in.
“Where are you going?”
He halted instantly. He wished that they could have gotten along like most royal couples should. A cold and initially distant meeting, then hopefully something would blossom over the years. Instead they had gotten along quite well, too well in fact. He was used to going slowly, taking his time in bedding a girl. A constant glaze over the court every few days, then promiscuous banter and in the span of months he would have her melt in his hand with a simple word. Now, he was feeling flustered and out of control and all of it was happening over a single night. Tom pressed his forehead against the wood, taking a deep breath. He turned to look at her, just like a painting coming to life. Her hair was down, unlike anything he had ever seen. Not grimed with sweat and dirt nor was it pinned underneath a headdress or away from her face. This time, the soft curls framed it. The nightgown clung to her shoulders; the fabric dangerously close to falling off. It made his life that much more difficult.
“I am sorry. You are a beautiful woman, but I just cannot fulfil the expectations that are placed upon me tonight. I will be sleeping in the room next door if you need me,” Tom blurted out. He waited for a response before he could speed out. She sat there, like a perfectly sculpted statue. It was torture.
y/n sighed, “nothing has to happen tonight.”
“But they will ask, they will pry like they always will,” he countered.
“Who says we have to tell the truth?” y/n giggled. God, it was a symphony to him. Tom watched her leave the bed, waltzing around to meet with him at the door. He wanted the tell her to stay exactly where she is, not to move even an inch closer but with ever step she took, his breath hitched higher in his throat. “I would prefer to spend the first night of my marriage with my husband, whether something happens or not.”
He swallowed thickly, “you are incredibly calm.” He now met her, his full attention on y/n as she chuckled in delight.
“I am filled to the brim with anxiety, just not that same fear that you are feeling,” she told him as she sat down the small longue in the middle of the room. She took the wine from the table and poured each of them a glass. Tom was hesitant at first, still wishing to flee the room and into the safety of his own solitary. Still, he found himself pacing towards her. Taking soft and flinching steps until he sat beside her.
“Then what is the fear?” He took the other glass, quickly chugging the alcohol. y/n said nothing but just stared at him in confusion. “The fear you feel, why?”
It was now her turn to become flustered. He looked genuinely curious as to why she was feeling doubtful, but she was unsure if he truly wanted to know the answer. Her father made her promise never to speak of it to anyone, a shameful secret that would ruin her future if it was released. But Tom was now her husband. They were bonded by law, a thought she really didn’t wish to dwell on. Surely, whatever she told him wouldn’t cause them any stress? Still, it would be rude of her not to tell him the reason after he had just clearly demonstrated his own fears in the commitment. “You must promise not to become angry.”
Tom nodded his head gently, even more intrigued then he was before.
y/n quietly exhaled, avoiding looking at Tom. “I was married once before, he passed from the sickness 3 months into our matrimony. Perhaps it was God way of guiding me to a better future, but it ruined almost everything. His death caused create strain for my family as they attempt to rebuild myself as if I was not capable of it myself. I am terrified that I am cursed, that I shall find myself falling in love with you only to be weeping over your coffin months later.” She had poured her soul out, shared such a personal section of her life. She was ashamed to see his face. Too afraid that pure anger and disgust would paint his face.
“Who was he? The man whom you had married?” Tom asked her again. His voice calling out as she stared directly at the purple velvet beneath her dress.
“The Prince of Spain,” y/n squeaked.
“That inbred!” Tom joked, suddenly becoming relaxed by the mere mention of the Spanish Royal Family. “I am surprised you got three months and not three days, that kid was on death doors for his entire life,” Tom was now in a fit of laughter. It wasn’t directed to her but more that they allowed such a beautiful woman to be the wife of such a dull man. y/n peered up, thoroughly embarrassed as she gave him a light whack. Tom finally came down from his laughing fit, staring directly at her. “You are cursed Princess; you are just coddled. Forced into a life clearly not meant for someone like yourself.”
The mere mention of the cradling of her life got y/n riled up, “that’s another thing! The Spanish constantly treated me as if I was some porcelain doll ready to shatter if they dared even look at me! I felt like a child trapped in a woman’s body and he touched me like that as well. God, I was finally ready to truly live my life and then he just was too soft, I wanted something much mor-” Oh. Oh God. She had run her mouth too far, dug her own grave with her rambling. Her hands clamped against her mouth as a heat rushed to her face. She could see the French ships arriving for her next month, giving her passage because she was not in pristine condition. Hopefully Tom didn’t pick up on what she was inferring.
“You aren’t a virgin?” his voice was quiet, almost dark. She felt her entire world shatter. Tom scooted towards her slowly, it was completely unnoticed. She was too deep in panic to recognise the growing flirt rising in the Prince of Wales. y/n shook her head feverously. “That little tick took you?” When he put it like that, it made her stomach tingle. She had never heard such a sentence used in that tone. She was drowning in thoughts.
“I didn’t know what I was doing, that’s why I was so unsatisfied,” she tried to explain, her hands now bunched up the fabric against her knees. “He was just so soft, too soft and I wished he would have-”
“Would have what?” he toyed. Tom doesn’t quite know why he was acting like this. So intent on prying her little secrets out of her. Usually, he would have just simply got straight to the point but now, seeing her become red with frustration was a view causing him great pleasure. Any abstinence he hoped to place upon himself earlier in the night had been thrown out the window. He finally felt back in control, something he longed for. Something she was serving to him on a silver platter.
“I..” she began but the words got caught in her throat. Her tongue stopped completely, almost refusing to finish the damning sentence. She wanted him to be rougher with her, she wanted him to treat her like a woman and not a girl. “What happen to you wishing to keep your hands to yourself?” She attempted to change the topic, trying to flee but to no avail as he quickly caught her wrist in his palms. Their skins igniting on sight.
“Don’t try to change the subject Princess,” he purred, standing up to meet with her at the side of the bed. Her title now held a completely different meaning, it wasn’t being used to describe her. It was being used to utterly destroy her; a nickname only meant to be whispered in the dim light of a dozen candles. “I can see right through you,” Tom’s calloused fingers met the loose fabric on her shoulders, dancing over her collarbone. It was soft but held meaning. “I can see that you wished he touched you differently. Touched you like a real woman, rougher and passionate.”
His words were damned. She should feel ashamed that she was feeling light-headed just by the grazing touch of his fingers above her perked breasts. “Yes,” it was the only thing she could get out. The only single three lettered word that allowed itself out of her mouth. Tom pressed his lips to her neck, underneath her jaw.
“Perhaps, he too was inexperienced.” He spoke through small pecks. “Allow me to show you something different, something better,” it was barely above a whisper, but y/n heard every word. Her fingers tangled themselves in his hair as he peered at her.
“I would enjoy that very much,” y/n responded just as quiet, all the gentle touches he currently had placed upon her turned darker. He pulled her into his embrace quickly before tripping her feet from under her and ending atop her on the messily made bed. His hand instantly found the inside of her thigh, his finger bruising her skin. It was delightfully, the slight pain sending shivers down her spine.
Their lips met, gentle at first. Her hands moulding themselves against his jaw, moaning into his mouth as he pushed her deeper into the mattress. She wished she could stay like this forever, wrapping in Tom’s embrace as they mended together. Alas, he pulled away from her. Lips separating with a small pop and a soft whine from y/n underneath him. Tom took a distinct look at her; she was sprawled out and whimpering for something more. Did she give this look to him as well? Did she use the melody that was her voice to beg him to do anything? Tom didn’t particularly wish to replay the thought in his head but yet, he couldn’t help himself.
Her nightgown quickly found itself discarded; her nipples perked in the cold. His lips immediately latched on, massaging the soft tissue. He never knew something could feel this smooth, without any flaws or imperfections. Even though he knew he could spend an entire night between the valley of her tits, he too longed for something more.
In a matter of moments, he found himself staring directly at her sex. A glorious sight to behold, glistening with her arousal in the pale moonlight. She was practically dripping onto the sheets below her. He placed a soft kiss to her pelvis, she jumped at the contact. “If you feel uncomfortable, you need to tell me,” he told her all the while his fingers toyed at her hot hole. Dipping even so slightly into her heat. She was already in euphoria just from the slightest bit of pleasure. y/n nodded her head before locking eyes with him.
He didn’t waste another second, quickly licking a fat stripe through her folds. The taste was pure heaven, he didn’t give her a moment to register the feeling before diving right back into her juices. Sucking and pulling at her, wasting the night away feeling her thighs clamp around his head every time he flicked her clit coupled with a singular finger prancing in and out of her.
y/n wasn’t quite sure how loud she could truly be. She knew that even though they were in the far south-east of the castle, there could be a dozen scullery maids listening right outside the door. Or if someone was trying to achieve some sleep right beside them. At this very moment though, with Tom’s head in between her thighs devouring every inch of her throbbing cunt, she couldn’t give a single fuck. y/n allowed the string of curses and praised to tumble from her lips as she clasped onto the bed sheets for dear life.
“Such a dirty mouth,” Tom remarked, releasing her for a few seconds, “for such a pretty and delicious pussy.” He chuckled darkly. y/n wanted to bite back at him, but she was cut short but the addition of another of his digits sliding into her tight entrance. y/n clasped down hard on her hand. A foreign feeling began to drive itself into her stomach. While unusual, it was not at all exotic to her. It was thrilling, feeling her walls contract around his fingers as y/n began to instinctively rock her hips against his digits.
“God,” he purred, “that’s it, make yourself cum on my fingers Princess. Let me see that gorgeous face while you do it.” Tom had now retracted his mouth from her, completely mesmerised by the way her eyes screwed shut as she reached her peak. A cacophony of beautiful and dazzling sounds stumbling out of her mouth as he felt her climax all over his hand. Such a tantalising sight for any man.
y/n was too deep in her own return that she didn’t notice the retraction of his presences from the middle of her legs. So, when he felt his hands roughly pull her to the edge of the bed, she almost choked. The exhilarating feeling of his strained cock rubbing against her drenched folds made her forget her place. Made her speak before her mind could catch up. “I want you to fulfil the expectation.” She told him, her eyes never wavering from him.
Tom halted all his movements. It was painful but he needed absolute clarity before he did anything without her reassurance. “You need to elaborate Princess,” he told her darkly. He knew exactly what she was asking of him, he knew exactly what she desired.
“I want you to come inside of me,” she spoke as if she was a different person. y/n doesn’t quite know whether it’s the shift of mood or her own personal feelings but either way, she wanted to feel their juices mix and then leak out of her. Wanted him to fill her right up to the brim until the possibility was certain.
“You want me to fuck my seed right into you?” his words were dirtier than she expected but so was he as he slid in and into her. His naval hitting hers with a loud smack. He refused to move until he had played with her just that tad bit more. y/n’s head thrashed into the sheets behind her. She was so full, never has she felt this complete in her entire life. He wasn’t even moving but she could feel every inch of him deep inside of her.
“God yes,” she whimpered. “I need it so bad,” she was going to drive Tom insane. Just by a simple sentence, he was going to lose his mind and cum right now without even doing anything. 
“Want to carry my child, our own Prince or Princess,” he pulled back out of her and slammed right back in, knocking the wind out of her y/n. It was so profoundly dirty, just discussing it. It thrilled her to the very core, child-bearing was meant for women not girls. Perhaps that is why she is so drawn to the talk, the talk of something so primally feminine set her entire body on fire. She couldn’t speak a coherent sentence instead she just let out a continuous plea.
He began slow, hips rocking to find that perfect beat. He revelled in the only sounds in the room, the sound of his cock hitting the divine spot inside of her over and over again and her delirious moaning. It was a symphony he was lucky enough to hear. He wanted to hear more, listen to the pure sounds of him railing into her. So, he picked up the pace. His thrust became not only deep and harsh but fast.
God, if he could immortalise this feeling he would. The feeling of her walls constricting around him as he pounds right into her, the feeling of her legs wrapping around his constantly thrusting hips and the feeling of her sweating skin underneath his fingers as he grips for support. It’s like the Lord himself made her tight little cunt just for him.
“You’re so big,” y/n praised mindlessly. He’s never had someone say that to him without it sounding forced. It’s so raw that he can’t help but go even harder into with each praise that falls off her lips. “Fill me up, I want to feel you all inside of me.” It’s a dangerous game, she’s tapped on something so feral inside of him it hurts.
y/n wants to prop herself up and explore his body while he pounds into her, but she simply can’t. Her limbs give out with every thrust. Her entire body spasms each time he hits the perfect spot inside of her. She a moaning mess, trying to maintain any sense of normality but failing miserably. It’s a constant state of pleasure, she’s afraid that she’s lost track of time. That is until the faint, but all the desirable fit finds itself lit in the pit of her stomach.
“I’m almost there,” she whispers, it’s the only thing she can get out. His thrusts, that once had gained a steady and harsh rhythm are now falling. He’s losing focus with each grip he receives. With her words though, he gives her the final stretch. No longer does he has some form of structure but instead he’s just railing her like a wild animal.
It’s an explosion and neither knows why but it’s addictive. y/n climaxes around him, her toes curling as her final orgasm hits her long and violent. Shaking underneath, him as she unknowingly milks his own finish out of him. Tom’s fucking his cum right into her, he doesn’t stop for a second. Too focused on the goal ahead of him. Placing it where it counts. It’s a feeling he wants to never forget, better yet it’s a sight he wants permanently etched into his memories. As he pulls out of her, their climaxes tumble out of her. Dripping down her leg.
“Hold your legs up Princess,” he teases as he pressed a gentle kiss to her lips. “I heard it works wonders.”
The rose blooms only for those who care properly for her.
━━★✼☆。
a/n: please don’t flop, omg this is so long and no one asked for this shit. please don’t flop chile 🤡
3K notes · View notes
makeste · 4 years ago
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BnHA Chapter 296: Ngl, This One Pissed Me Off
Previously on BnHA: Deku was all, “p.s. I actually activated yet another quirk several chapters ago when Kacchan got stabbed.” Compress was all, “[gets captured and passes out].” Spinner was all “[rifles through Tomura’s pockets and slaps a random Charbroiled Hand onto his friend’s unconscious face].” Tomura was all, “SOMEHOW THAT ACTUALLY WORKED” and woke up again, except it wasn’t really him, it was everyone’s favorite Final Villain, AFO. AFO was all, “time to escape finally” and summoned a bunch of Noumu and Absconded with Spinner and the DabiMarble in tow. Skeptic was all, “Horikoshi forgot I existed, but I’m actually Absconding in marble-form as well.” Deku was all, “ATTENTION WORLD, I WOULD LIKE TO ANNOUNCE THAT I OFFICIALLY WANT TO SAVE SHIGARAKI TOMURA.” And then the arc just sort of ended lol.
Today on BnHA: Horikoshi is all, “but when you think about it, do we really need literally any female teachers at U.A. at all?” and for whatever reason doesn’t stop to wait for an answer. Midnight, who absolutely did not need to die, Dies, and I’m pissed about it. Ochako wanders the ruins of Jakku for what feels like hours, rescuing small children while her adult hero compatriots fall to pieces around her, because apparently the U.A. kids really are the only people who have their shit together. The citizens of Japan are all “damn that’s wild, wonder how fucked we are now,” but are actually super casual and chill about it which is oddly realistic. The chapter ends with AFO in Tartarus being all “lol time for the prison break arc,” without giving us so much as a chance to catch our breath, like holy shit. Are we on the clock or something now, goddamn.
lmao it’s like 7pm on a Sunday night and this is out already. this is like the worst possible timing lol. there goes my nice, relaxed evening. unless of course this turns out to be a nice, restful, soothing chapter, as chapters coming on the heels of traumatic, earth-shattering battles so often are. yeah, break out the Pina Colada song and the little drink umbrellas, I got a good feeling about this one
(ETA: I mean, I was obviously being sarcastic here but damn, Horikoshi.)
-- fff why did I laugh
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it’s the crumbling city ruins in the background that really does it, I think. JUST LOOK AT THIS MESS THAT YOU HAVE MADE, EVERYONE. FOR SHAME
also, the title is dramatic af and I am so fucking excited you guys, like holy shit. BnHA’s In-Between arcs have always been my favorite part of the series, because it’s when all the character development and angst and/or catharsis happens. just, those little breathing spaces in between the action when everyone gathers to recuperate and compartmentalize their fresh new traumas lmao. bring on that angst!! but also, let’s please have some Comfort to offset all of this Hurt too, please and thanks
blah blah blah so the survivors were evacuated, good good, can you actually show us though?
AHHHHHHH
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PIXIE BOB SURVIVED!!!! WASH IS STILL ALIVE LMAO HOW. THIRTEEN’S FACE, OMG SHOULD I LOOK AWAY. IS IT LIKE MANDALORIAN RULES. IDK HOW IT WORKS
HOW THE FUCK ARE THEY ALIVE. LOLS ANYWAY I’M HERE FOR IT. FEEL FREE NOT TO KILL ANYONE ELSE HERE HORIKOSHI, I THINK WE’RE GOOD
(ETA: it’s like talking to a brick wall.)
oh my god do we really need exposition about how the heroes tried to stop TomurAFO from escaping and OF COURSE failed completely because they suck lmao. oh my god I am shocked, that is such shocking news
wow they only managed to defeat three of the Noumus. holy shit. again, all of the Not-Kid Heroes are only slightly more useful than cardboard cutouts of heroes at this point, MORE AT ELEVEN
so Tomura may have lost the PLF, but he still more or less has an army then, huh. I really don’t know how anyone could expect a timeskip with that threat looming over everyone’s heads
oh nvm lol there are only seven Noumus left. wait so you’re telling me there were only ten Nearly High Ends in that last chapter?? felt more like fifty but whatever lol I’ll take your word for it
COMPRESS YAY YOU’RE ALIVE TOO
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MAYBE THEY CAN EVEN REATTACH HIS ASS. I’M SERIOUS LOL, BECAUSE HE STILL HAS IT, DOESN’T HE? OR IF NOT, THEY CAN REBUILD HIM WITH A PROSTHETIC ASS. he’ll be more powerful than ever
WHAAAAAAT YEAH BOIIIII
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WOOO, EDGESHOT, WOOOOO. THAT’S HIS WAY OF THE NINJA
YEAHHHHH SUCK IT, PLF
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(ETA: for the record I don’t think Cementoss is dead here, just badly wounded. if he had died he would have been included in the forthcoming In Memoriam page along with the others.)
GET BENT LOL. TRUMPET I FOR REAL FORGOT YOU EVEN EXISTED. I NEVER WANT TO SEE ANY OF YOU LOSERS AGAIN PLEASE. ONLY INTERESTING CHARACTERS MAY PROCEED PAST THIS POINT
dsflksaldkh;l
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that’s... holy shit. that’s a bigass mansion, that’s what that is. also so does this mean there are still eighty thousand PLF members still at large, because that’s a plot line I very much do not care about in any way whatsoever lol. can’t we just retcon to say that Re-Destro was exaggerating? I mean hell, a CEO criminal pulling some Enron-type bullshit is pretty believable, isn’t it? those poor bamboozled shareholders
“makeste, here’s an idea, what if you scrolled down to read the rest of the page” lol gtfo of here with your logic and your sense
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well those 132 people have made it onto my enemies list, but at least it sounds like they more or less took care of the rest. good riddance
and Toga escaped, as we knew already, and is now on the lam. hopefully she reunites with the League again at some point. although her doing her own thing could also be very interesting. idk what I want lol
anyway so there’s another big panel showing how fucked up the city is, just in case it hadn’t already been hammered into our skulls yet. there’s a car dangling off a roof somehow. how does that even happen. did Machia pick it up and put it there or
NOOO OMG RANDOM SMALL CHILDREN IN PERIL WHAT IS THIS
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OCHAKO PLEASE SAVE THEM OMG
“if it falls on me, I want you to have my Endeavor pouch” OH MY STARS. HIS MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSION. NO MY CHILD YOU CAN’T GIVE UP HOPE YET
LMAO
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“FOR THE LAST TIME NOBODY CARES ABOUT YOUR DUSTY-ASS POUCH, KYLE” fffff these children are dying and I am cracking up so hard my eyes are tearing up what is wrong with me
YAY THEY SAVED THEM
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but listen. not that I don’t love seeing the girls kick ass, because you know I do. but I also really, REALLY need to know what’s going down with the Musketeers, and I’m not looking forward to waiting three whole weeks for that so please Horikoshi. please hurry this along so we can get to them
goddamn it Tsuyu is saying she’ll take the boy to the shelter to get first aid, and I was all “okay great because that’s probably where Kacchan and the others are too”, but now someone else is shouting for help and Ochako’s all “I’ll go” and it’s like OKAY BUT PLEASE? this chapter is already more than half over omfg. ‘bout to start wringing some hands here
oh my god
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is this Toga again??? WHAT THE HELL, THIS CREEPYASS HALF-DEAD DUDE BETTER BE LEADING UP TO SOMETHING INTERESTING, I AM REALLY GETTING IMPATIENT
OR, I GUESS, WE COULD DO THIS INSTEAD
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“SO AS IT TURNS OUT, NOT EVERY CHARACTER WHO NEEDS HELP SAVING THEIR SPOUSE FROM FALLEN RUBBLE IS ACTUALLY TOGA IN DISGUISE” HUH, OKAY. DULY NOTED. FILED AWAY FOR FUTURE REFERENCE
but fucking... okay, look. I love Ochako, I do. but I like her a whole lot more when she’s interacting with other characters I actually care about, as opposed to running around in the rubble rescuing random people while the fate of my other children is still up in the air. like okay, I get it, shit’s bad, now if you don’t mind we really don’t have to spend all day here though
...anyways but nope, we’re still staying with her. she’s bouncing around rescuing all of these other people. omg. I literally have no patience here at all and it’s terrible, I know, but oh my god
omg finally something interesting is happening!!
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look at that, an adult hero standing around being useless while the kids are busy getting shit done. why is this becoming a recurring theme
MY DUDE, THIS IS SERIOUSLY NOT THE TIME THOUGH
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I GET THAT IT’S OVERWHELMING AND THAT YOU’RE TRAUMATIZED AND SHIT, BUT GUESS WHAT, SO IS EVERYONE ELSE. THAT’S WHAT YOU SIGNED UP FOR. JUST LOOK AT OCHAKO! SHE’S SO EXHAUSTED HER HAIR HAS EVEN LOST ITS FLOOF, AND YET SHE’S STILL OUT HERE DOING HER BEST. ONE SAVE AT A TIME MY MAN. GET IT DONE. LITERALLY A SMALL CHILD IN THE BOTTOM RIGHT CALLING FOR THEIR MOMMY AND YOU’RE JUST STANDING THERE ALL “WAHH IT’S TOO MUCH” LIKE COULD YOU PLEASE POSTPONE YOUR CRISIS UNTIL AFTER YOU SAVE THEM PLEASE
OH MY GOD
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MAYBE YOU SHOULD!! oh my god I really cannot, like wow. oh no I actually have to save people and do my job, god forbid. jesus christ, at least the other heroes tried. but Moping Hero: Bellyache here is just throwing in the towel and fuck everyone who still needs his help I guess. you are like the anti-Deku my dude
OH MY GOD OH MY GOD NO OH FUCK
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THAT’S MIDNIGHT’S HAND OH FU -- SHE BETTER NOT -- HORIKOSHI I SWEAR TO GOD --
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I’M GONNA LOSE IT I REALLY AM!!!!
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HOLY SHIT HOW INTENSE OF A RAGE DO I NEED TO BRACE MYSELF TO BE FEELING HERE. THIS CHAPTER WAS ALREADY TRENDING TOWARDS DISAPPOINTMENT, DO WE REALLY NEED TO GO AND COMPOUND THAT
WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
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you’re telling me Tomura wasn’t brought back by that electric shock, but by his “fuck you” attitude? why are you explaining this to us now, again??
......
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HEY, SO UM, FUCK ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS, THOUGH. (: OH MAN. OHHHHHH MAN. I HAVE... I HAVE GOT A LOT OF WORDS FOR THIS AND HERE ARE SOME OF THEM
FUCK
THINGS THAT SHOULD BE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO “SOME BULLSHIT”: THIS
FUCK
GET FUCKED HORIKOSHI
AND ALSO PLEASE FUCK RIGHT OFF!!
AND SERIOUSLY THOUGH FUCK YOU
NO BUT YOU KNOW WHAT THOUGH!! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED OFF ANYONE. LITERALLY ANY CHARACTER. YOU HAD TWELVE FEMALE PROS. TWELVE. YOU COULD HAVE MADE MORE OF THEM. PROBABLY, IF THERE ACTUALLY WERE SUPERHEROES IN REAL LIFE, THERE WOULD BE MORE THAN TWELVE OF THEM IN AN ENTIRE NATION. BUT NO, YOU WERE ALL “TWELVE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH.” AND THEN WHEN IT CAME TIME TO KILL PEOPLE OFF, YOU WERE ALL “WELL ALL RIGHT THEN, LET’S SEE, I PICK... THESE 18 RANDOM SIDE CHARACTERS WITH LITTLE TO NO DIALOGUE, PLUS THE ONE SINGLE FEMALE U.A. STAFF MEMBER WE ACTUALLY HAD. YEAH THAT OUGHTA DO IT”
AND BY THE WAY, HORIKOSHI, I PICKED SOMETHING UP FOR YOU ON MY WAY HOME, HERE IT IS, ┌П┐(・_・) do you like it it was on sale. I saw it and was like, “Horikoshi would really like that.” so there you go. sorry it wasn’t gift-wrapped
p.s. I hope y’all can tell that that’s supposed to be a middle finger and not... something else lmao. er. anyway
(ETA: so I got a few asks from people who were really put off by this part of the reaction post, and so I’m just adding an extra note here to make it clear that I do not actually wish harm on Horikoshi in any way or even particularly dislike him. I wasn’t happy about Midnight’s death and I wanted to convey that, and so I went with my usual LOUD CAPSLOCK REACTION tone, but looking back on it I can see that it’s kind of a lot, lol. 
so just to be clear, the “fuck you” stuff is almost entirely tongue-in-cheek. that’s on me, I forget sometimes that there are people who share these sentiments unironically and so I didn’t think to make sure my intended meaning here was clear. anyways, killing Midnight was still a really problematic decision for numerous reasons but it is what it is. Horikoshi is not perfect, the story isn’t perfect, and I’m not gonna pretend like it is, but again just to be clear, I don’t harbor any actual ill will toward Horikoshi here.)
shit. and wow this man really went and killed off fucking Mystic too on top of that. have you ever seen a character fail so spectacularly at living up to their hype. r.i.p. Mystic you were like the Star Wars sequel of characters
(ETA: I have no fucking idea why I keep thinking Majestic’s name is Mystic lol. rest in peace you old scarecrowy bastard.)
and poor Momo, though. fuck. lost two mentors in a single day. and do not even get me started on Aizawa holy shit
so now we’re cutting to some random townspeople who are gossiping about the Todoroki drama. this is actually interesting in spite of my newfound determination to hate this chapter lol
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ngl I am kind of heartened to see that not everyone fell for Dabi’s bs hook line and sinker though. Jeanist returning from the dead literally two seconds after Dabi was all “I SWEAR ON MY HONOR AS A VILLAIN THAT HAWKS MURDERED HIM” probably helped with that a bit! but there will doubtless be many other people who do believe him, or are at least still inclined to side-eye the heroes in general either way given how much they sucked in this arc. very, very interesting
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so it seems though that even more than the whole Endeavor reveal, at the end of the day it’s going to be the heroes failing to live up to their end of the “put your faith in us and let us use our quirks and in return we’ll protect everyone and keep them safe” implied social contract that’s going to have the biggest impact on people’s opinions moving forward. basically this was always going to be a disaster no matter what
OH MY GOD FINALLY AHHHHH
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Horikoshi really tapped into some of the real-life political energy of the past few years huh. Fuck Him Still for killing off Midnight, but I will admit that so far this is hella intriguing and I am really, really curious to see where things go from here
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE KIDS FROM THE BABYSITTING ARC
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“FIVE PEEPEE MAN WOULDN’T LIE TO US” YES CHILDREN YOU’RE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT. at least the little ones still have faith
UM
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 ( •̀ へ •́  )
that’s great. that’s really keen. all we need right now, amirite
GOOD FOR YOU, YOU PIECE OF SHIT
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let’s just wait for him to explain what he feels. you know he likes to drag it out
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is that Dabi crouched down there next to Spinner? looks like they got him out of the marble after all. but why has his hair changed colors again lol what
anyways. your turn to what??
:’) excuse me what
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hahahaha are you fucking kidding me. and that’s where we’re going to end the chapter then. lol okay
so let’s recap. Midnight died. we spent ten hours watching Ochako dig people out of rubble for no apparent reason and were then introduced to my new least favorite character, and because Ochako is so nice she didn’t even punch him in the face even though she really should have. we did not get any Kacchan or Shouto. we got one panel of Deku, who is Finally Asleep. and the chapter ended with AFO ordering his Noumus to go set free, AND I QUOTE, HIS “MAIN BODY.” and now I gotta wait an entire week for Caleb’s translation to confirm that last part. omg
but it sounds like a prison break is imminent, which is very, very interesting. ...and actually, is it weird that I’m actually rooting for it to be a success? I have no idea what this guy is planning, but I do know that as long as the main part of his soul is still residing in Tomura’s body, Tomura’s chance of surviving the series is close to zero. and villain though he may be, I’m still rooting for his redemption (nice to have Deku on my side now too), and so yeah. so like if AFO feels like using some latent Exorcism Quirk or something that he’s been saving for just such an occasion, be my guest lol
meanwhile this doesn’t bode well for All Might though. or anyone else aside from Tomura, really. shiiiit
anyway. [slaps roof of chapter] this baby can fit so much bullshit in it
353 notes · View notes
lxstfulbeans · 4 years ago
Note
*Busts in with a plastic bag of crack* You want some crack, kids? I’ll give it to ya! 🥸 So Y/N forgot where she placed her phone at and her crush decides to call her phone to help hear the ringtone so she can find it better. However, Y/N forgot that she uses funny ass ringtones for said crush and even has funny contact pics/names for them in her phone. Said songs are “Something about you girl” by Ice JJ Fish, “Wap” but with Carl Wheezer’s voice, “Interior Crocodile Alligator”, and the NFL theme song. I would love to see head cannons of this for Hawks, Dabi, Aizawa and Bakugo.
“Something about you girl” - Hawks. He’s saved as “KFC” and his contact pic is of him making the light skin face that sent y/n to orbit (he thought she deleted it cuz it’s cringy)
“Wap” - Dabi. He’s saved as “Patchy the Pirate” and his pic is a blurred image of him chasing Y/N.
“Interior crocodile alligator” - Aizawa. He’s saved as “Dad of 20” and his pic is of him laying face first in his sleeping bag
“NFL Theme song” - Bakugo. He’s “Boom Boom Pomeranian” and his pic is of a Pomeranian with his hair photoshopped on it.
I know they’ll give some funny reactions! They’ll look at sis confused and she’ll just go “See about that...” and book it when she takes her phone. This idea had me busting my pancreas 💀💀💀
Bruh I- 💀 I’m literally hearin these damn audios as I’m reading this ask, I’m rolling. This is the best 😂
— 3. 2. 1. ACTION!! —
HEADCANON: Y/N loses her phone and forgets that she saved crack-fuelled pictures and ringtones assigned to her crush.
KEIGO TAKAMI [HAWKS]:
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You were losing your fucking mind at this point.
Where the fuck could you have misplaced your cellphone?? You had to meet your homegirls at the club for girls night, PRONTO!!
Keigo raised a brow as he walked in on you basically tearing apart your living room for your phone, almost crying from frustration. “Whoa, kid. Ya lose something?” He had the nerve to ask when it was clearly the case.
Sure, there was a whole lotta things to love about this bird-man, but that smartass attitude was gonna get slapped outta him.
“dId yOu lOsE sOmeThInG- YES FOOL MY DAYUM PHONE!!” You huff, throwing another couch cushion on the floor before you fell to the floor in exhaustion. “I got to meet the girls for girls night in twenty minutes, and I can’t find my phone!” You briefly explain.
You heard him chuckle, pulling out his own phone. “Okay, okay, calm down, kid. It ain’t the end of the world, y’know. I’ll just call it and we’ll listen out for the ringtone.” He says, scrolling for a bit before finding your contact, pressing the call button and..
That’s when y’all heard it.
“THERE’S SOMETHIN’ ABOUTCHA GURLL! THAT JUST MAKES MY HEAD WANNA TWIRL!!”
Your ringtone went off under the couch, making Keigo look at you with the most confused face ever, his wings puffing up as he looked at you, yet you couldn’t stop laughing as he used one of his feathers to drag the phone from under the couch.
“What the hell, kid?? I though you deleted this cringey ass selfie!” He whined, looking at the contact photo of him making that dumbass lightskin face that had you howling the other day. “And what the hell is this ringtone?? AND YOU SAVED ME AS KFC??”
“BRUH I CAN’T BREATHE SHUT UPP—“ You screech as you curl up, tears pricking your eyes as you roll on the floor. Keigo couldn’t help but snicker, rolling his eyes at you as he got you off the floor, “Okay, you got some explaining to do.”
“Well, you see, what had happened was-“ You begin, trying to hold back your laughter before snatching your phone and purse, running out of the door. “I’ll see you later, KFC!! I’m running late!”
DABI:
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“Aw, damn! Where in the entire hell did I put my phone??” You groaned.
Of course, this wasn’t the first time you lost your phone and you swore it would’ve been the last. But, you were so caught up on multitasking with so much shit you wanted to get out of the way, you completely forgot about your phone.
You sighed as you now have to tear apart the lounge that you JUST straightened up, making this much worse than it had to be.
“Hey, little mouse. What’s with all the whining and hollering for?”
“I can’t find my phone, I’ve been all up in y’all raggedy-ass lair lookin’ for my shit so I can bounce!” You say with an eye roll as you placed your hands on your hips, clearly not in the mood for the bullshit right now.
“Okay, calm down. It’s just a phone, I can just call it and you can listen out for the ringtone.” He said with a sigh as he brought out his phone, dialing your number and waiting for the tone to play. The two of you went from room to room, getting more anxious everytime the phone went to voicemail. You were visibly going to cry, there was no way that you could’ve left your phone anywhere that WASN’T in the LOV Lair.
“I swear, if you start crying, I won’t let you live it down.” You hear Dabi mumble to you as you both entered the last room, dialing your number one last time until...
“NYEOW FROM THE TOP, MAKE IT DROP, THAT’S A WHAP. BRING A BUCKET AND A MOP, THAT’S WHAP”
Your phone was jamming out on a chair, Dabi looking at you like you just committed a grave sin while the ringtone played. The longer he stared at you, wanting an explanation, you can’t help but burst into laughter as you crawl to your phone, and let the tone finish.
You just hoped that your crush was still going to hang out with you after this crackhead mishap.
“MACARONI IN A POT, THAT’S A WHAP. JIMMYY”
Dabi was literally at a loss for words, (lookin’ a lil like confused bakugou rn 👀) as you wheezed in laughter. “[Y/N]... what in the fuck was that?” He asked, you can tell he was serious from how low and menacing your name was said. You were either about to run for your life or die laughing.
“And why the fuck is my name, “Patchy The Pirate”? And what the hell is this photo?” He asked again. Man, was it getting hot in there or was it just you?
“Well, you see here, uh- MOINK!” You shout, howling in laughter as you were chased around the building. Kurogiri shaking his head in disappointment.
SHŌTA AIZAWA (DADDY. ERASERHEAD):
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“Oh no.”
“Oh, no...”
“Oh, no no no no no..”
This cannot be happening, this CANNOT be happening right now. Lord have mercy, please let today not be the day.
“Goddamn it, where’s my phone?!”
Yep, your phone. Your new phone that Shōta got for your birthday, who you also had a huge crush on but would never tell that to ANYONE. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t lose this phone, it was definitely the most precious thing ever.
“Fuuuuck!” You whined, already on the verge of panicking while your tore apart your room for that birthday gift. “Hey, what’s all this racket for? I’m trying to sleep.” said your friend, roommate, and crush, Shōta.
“I-I’m just lookin’ for somethin’, Shō! Sorry for all this noise..” you mumbled an apology as you continued your search, swinging your arm around underneath the bed.
“You lost your phone, didn’t you, [Y/N]?”
DAMN, he catches on quick for somebody who sleeps 25/8. Maybe it’s because you don’t really have trouble looking for stuff unless it’s something really important to you.
You sighed, the embarrassment and disappointment washing over you as you laid in defeat on the floor. “Yeah.. I can’t find it..” you mumbled.
The older man sighed, cracking his neck as he got out his phone. “Okay, just calm down. I’ll call it and we’ll just listen out for your ringtone, okay? If we can’t hear it, we’ll track it.”
God, why was he so hot when he took responsibility? You couldn’t help but sit up and nod at his words as he scrolled through his contacts until he found your name, confirming the call until..
“INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR. I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE THEATER.”
Your phone blasted the same line over and over, as hard as you tried to contain it, you couldn’t help but screech in laughter when you looked up to see Shōta’s disturbed, confused, and concerned face as he picked up your phone from underneath your dresser.
“”Dad of 20”?? What the hell type of name is that?” He asked, the iconic sleeping bag worm as his contact photo. The joke behind it was the fact that he was a whole teacher at U.A. You always thought it was cute that he was basically a father figure to those future heroes.
Plus, you wouldn’t stop joking about them being his, “lil chilrens”.
“Aight, aight. I wanna thank you for finding my phone, I promise not to lose it again!” You quickly say, trying to creep out of the room until you were confined with his capture weapon.
“I’m not done with you yet.”
Fuck..
KATSUKI BAKUGOU:
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“Hey, dumbass! Hurry up, or we’ll miss the movie!”
Damn, damn, damn!! You can’t believe you just lost your phone right now, you could’ve sworn you left it on your bed before you started fixing your hair in the bathroom.
“Shit, shit! Bakugou, can you help me find my phone real quick? Pretty please?” You call out to him, really anxious because you were really looking forward to this movie and you could not miss a second of it!
“Ugh, are you serious?? What did I tell you about keeping up with your shit!” He groaned, getting out his phone as he dialed your number and listened to the trill.
“I know, I know! I promise I’ll be more careful!” You say as you listened out for it, only to pull aside your blankets to see your vibrating phone with the ringtone on blast.
Oh yes, the NFL Theme. What made you lose your shit was Bakugou’s flabbergasted facial expression as he looked down at your contact photo and nickname for him.
You couldn’t help but cackle as you saw a vein pop out, popping hands reaching out for you. “Hey! What the fuck is this shit?? Imma show you a pomeranian!” He shouted.
“Katsu! Katsu! Relaaaxx!! You know you’re my bestie and I love you, but we got a movie to catch so let’s do this later fam.” You snicker, trying to calm yourself down as you yoinked your phone and took off out the door with your purse.
“OH, JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET BACK HOME!”
— END SCENE —
Sorry that Bakugou’s was kinda short! But, hope you enjoyed these!
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seoracle · 4 years ago
Text
DRIVERS LICENSE; i
Pairing: Bang Chan x Idol! Gender Neutral Reader
Genre: Fake Dating! AU, Angst, Lovers to Enemies(?), Occasional Pining, Comedy, S for potential smut(??)
Summary: Y/N has become an overnight sensation with ‘Drivers License’, Breaking records left and right...But what if the press gets wind of the ill-matched lovers and their company decide it’s the perfect attention ploy?
Word Count: 3.2K
Warnings: Swearing (a lot near the end), Drinking mention
A/N: this was meant to be a drabble... now it’s becoming a series...i’m sorry
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“...and the winner of Inkigayo today is...Y/N with ‘Drivers License, Congratulations!”
You step towards the center of the stage and take the trophy and bouquet from a rookie idol, who flashes a bright smile at you, but you can see the envy in his eyes. You once had that same hunger and ambition that he seems to reek of, it’s a reminder of how far you’ve come.
Taking the mic, you begin to sing a more sultry and edgier vibe than usual, which seems to gather more screams from fans than usual. You remember what Seulgi taught you and gaze at the camera lens with a subtle pout, trying to capture the angst of the song in your gaze.
It feels ridiculous, feigning emotions you no longer feel, singing a song you begged the company not to put out in a corset fitted shirt that’ll leave your ribs sore and reddened. It’s pathetic and cliche, you quite literally sold your soul (well, heart) for fame. 
“Yeah, you said forever, now I drive alone past your street…”
Everyone behind you waves at the camera, signalling the show is ending. You leave last, taking several confetti bits for your scrapbook, which is the only thing keeping you from remembering this is all real. 
Backstage, Iris and San are waiting in your dressing room, they greet you with proud grins and slaps on the back. 
“Well, if it isn’t miss twelve...no, thirteen wins in two weeks.” San praises, enveloping you in a hug.
“Could be thirteen by tomorrow~” Hums Iris in a sing-song tone.
A groan leaves your lips, while slumping into an uncomfortable chair. You tune out their excited plans for your makeup and hair tomorrow, San says something about an end of year Award show.
All you want is to go home to your empty dormitory and sleep.
When you finally arrive to the ‘comfort’ of your ‘studio apartment’ (box room), it isn’t long before you strip down to your pyjamas and aggressively rub off the layers of makeup that seem to cling to every pore and fine line of your face. The cold air from the fan soothes the aching of your body from your strict workout routine. You stay awake until 4am, reading comments from netizens and replying to fans on your fancafe, it  was hard not to become obsessed with checking what people thought; whether they loved or loathed you.
[+184 -93] Y/N is talented, but they look devoid of emotion since last week...maybe singing a song so personal isn’t a good idea….what if the person it’s about hears it…..
User FYL**8 was right, it had become draining trying to convey emotions you’d long let go of. Your debut song was fresh and fun, it didn’t garner much attention but at least you hadn’t had to fake emotions and relive your first heartbreak.
Although the memories of the breakup didn’t hurt as much, the happiest ones were the most painful. The feeling of ignorance, thinking he meant forever and believing him completely...it was all so distant yet felt a fingertip away.
That night you slept with a heavy heart, remembering what it felt like when he’d hold you close and right and kiss you on the head to soothe your worries. Why did it have to end? Why like that? You try to drift into a nice sleep after another exhausting day but to no avail, thoughts of him are flooding every thought. Has he heard it? There was no way he hadn’t, he loved to check out every ranking song for inspiration or for another artist to add to his monthly playlist. 
Would he get angry? Sad? Laugh at your pathetic feelings? He was right in the end, when it came down to it you only shared your feelings when it was too late.
Stupid Christopher fucking Bang.
It wasn’t often you’d refer to him as Chan, you had met him when he only saw it as another name for himself that he hardly used. Back when his hair had been fluffed up curls that he couldn’t contain and his light freckles weren’t covered by BB Cream. When he didn’t belong to the world and only loved you.
After months of forcing yourself not to, you hastily search “Stray kids Bang Chan + Y/N”, Then “Stray Kids Y/N” and finally “Skz Y/N”. The results are minimal and far inbetween, mostly tweets from fans wishing for a collab and oddly enough one person making edited photos of you and them, which are so convincing you have to remind yourself you hadn’t met them.
Thoughts drift to his friends, the ones who didn’t know Chris was even seeing someone and had been for over a year. They tried to sugarcoat it, say they forgot, it’s hard to keep track when you’re training and all that. 
The sinking feeling you felt when Minho asked how long you’d been together, guessing a month at most. When you did reply, ears burning with embarrassment he coughed and muttered “Oh.’, That had stung.
Everything had seemed so perfect, until you opened your eyes and saw it for what it was.
You don’t end up sleeping much, two hours at most, Then it’s time to get ready and head to the Broadcast Studio for today’s event. All you know is it’s a show about giving advice, the reviews aren’t great but you aren’t allowed to turn anything down because fame is a double-edged sword that you can barely grasp as is.
Iris and San are already waiting for you when you get there, within minutes makeup is being patted into your skin and your outfit is laid out on the chair next to you.
“Sleep more, Y/N-ah, I had to use a double coverage concealer to hide your dark circles.” Iris said in a fretful tone.
“I try, it’s hard being famous.” You reply jokingly, flipping your hair the best you can. Iris smacks your hand away and frantically finds her hairspray.
Within twenty minutes you’re dressed and not one hair is out of place, San pulls you aside with an uncharacteristically stern face. 
“The company have specific goals for sending you here, they want you to delve into a story of heartbreak to comfort today’s victim, while keeping anonymity and remaining as vague as you can.” 
Of course, even a show about helping others is fictional.
You nod solemnly and prepare to go on air, sitting on a cushion next to a popular comedian who doesn’t bother to even look at you. A well-known Streamer is on your other side and you begin polite small talk, which seems to irritate the host.
“We’re on in 3,2….1!” A sharp click follows the director’s queue and the host bursts right into the introduction.
After you’re introduced it’s easy to tune out, you couldn’t give a shit about that stuck-up comedian and the actress to their right. Instead you think of how the fuck you’re supposed to conjure up an emotional performance with little to no time to prepare.
‘My ex-boyfriend hid me for almost two years’ no, not even worthy of a cheap gossip magazine. ‘I thought my boyfriend loved me, turns out he loved his career more’ Maybe...but you sound too needy. 
“Today’s guest is Lee Chaeun of Suwon! Tell us your story, please.” 
You turn to look at the guest who walks onto the set and sits at the head of the pillow mats. She’s clearly a young girl, her baby face is covered by face-framing layers of shiny black hair and her eyes are already glassy.
“Last year, I began dating my crush after years of admiring him from afar...Everything seemed so perfect until last week….He dumped me by text message saying he needed space and now he’s with someone new..” Chaeun bursts into tears and the host fakes a sympathetic face and passes her a box of tissues.
“Ah, you’re young...you don’t know anything yet. This is a normal phase for teenagers, men realise themselves and break girls down so they become beautiful women. It’s just a case of a little girl not wanting to grow up!” Chimes in the Comedian, who talks about his falsities as if they’re facts.
The audience erupts into laughter and the heartbroken teenager lowers her head in embarrassment. Which only makes you more enraged, Who told that guy he was funny?
“Chaeun has every right to be upset!” You exclaim, cutting through the laugher like a hot knife. “When a relationship ends when everything seems alright for one person, it's cruel. Being blindsided isn’t a joke. It hurts and she deserves closure, and to move on someday to a better person..What happened to her shouldn’t happen to anyone!”  You barely register a gentle hand on top of yours, far too surprised by the fact there are tears dripping down your face. Crying wasn’t an option, so you pull yourself together and apologise to Chaeun and the host you cannot stand.
“Y/N, You seemed personally moved by Chaeun’s story, have you experienced a painful breakup?” The host asks curiously.
“You could say that,” You begin with a wry smile. “I was with someone who lived a double life, they were completely different when they were with other people...Things ended when I was still planning for future dates...it made me realise how fake they were.”
The guests all nod and you squeeze Chaeun’s hand, she smiles at you seeming relieved that she isn’t the only one who has felt this kind of pain. 
Everything goes smoothly after that, other guests chime in and the actress that seemed snobby is openly discussing her ex vomiting all over her Valentinos. You can’t help but wonder if the company really suggested this, or if it was divine intervention (Choi San, your manager). 
You don’t feel so alone anymore, everyone is guaranteed several things, two being love and heartbreak of some kind. 
“Thanks to singer Y/N and actress Sojung, Chaeun was able to feel a little better...Thank you for joining us on ‘Help No Counsellor!’, Join us next week when…’
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“Choi San, you sneaky bastard.”
He tries to act surprised but a shit-eating grin soon overtakes his acting, Iris shakes her head and zips her makeup bag closed. It isn’t long until you’re all at The Min’s enjoying red bean bread and warm tea.  “What does inept even mean? I’m assuming it’s a good thing because Wooyoung kissed me after saying it.” San mentions, his lips curving upwards at the fond memory.
“I’d have to agree with Woo, it fits you perfectly.” You reply, circling around his question while Iris tries not to choke on her food.
Fits of laughter die down when you spot a familiar face, Lee Mijoo. 
Her blonde hair flows down her back in loose curls and her soft eyes seem to enchant everyone, admittedly even you for a short time.Behind her is a slightly taller figure dressed in all black and your stomach drops.They don’t seem to notice your presence, so you decide to use this valuable time to hide behind a menu. 
San and Iris try to play along best they can, but it is quite distressing that all of this has happened so suddenly, with no prior warning. But he did bring you here, a lot. So it’s amusing to see his date ideas haven't changed. 
As he’s walking past you he pauses, and you want to shrivel into a hole and die, He’s clearly recognised you but can’t be 100% sure due to The Min’s menu covering your entire face. 
“Y/N?” 
Shit. You cannot hide from this.
Slowly taking the menu away and placing it down on the table you smile at him, maybe a little too forced but it’s the best you can do. His hair is blonde now, his curls are long gone but his smile is as genuine as ever. 
Stupid Christopher Bang and his stupid ‘I-totally-didn’t-break-your-heart’ attitude.
“Chan, nice to see you. Still obsessed with their double shots?” You humoured, he seemed grateful for that.
“Oh, absolutely...and I see you’re still not saving any bean bread for anyone else.” 
You laugh, it’s a bittersweet one at best but nevertheless it’s a laugh.
'Well it’s great to see you again, I’d love to exchange numbers if that’s alright?” 
Without thinking you nod and oblige him, much to your friend’s disappointment which is evident by their glares. Mijoo exchanges smiles with everyone, who could hate her? She was funny, kind hearted and beautiful in every aspect. 
When they finally leave to their outside seats you breathe a sigh of relief and sink into the chair.Iris strokes your hair and San grabs more snacks to go, the walk home isn’t peaceful. It’s awkward and silent, which only makes your head spin more. When you drop off Iris you know a lecture is coming, San hates doing it but you know he tells you what you need to hear, even if it hurts.
“Look, I’m happy you were able to brush off all the hurt today but earlier on you were crying about….this. Don’t give him the power to hurt you twice.”
“You’re right, thanks Sannie.” You reply, taking his arm and smiling at the warmth of his (Wooyoung’s) fuzzy coat. 
Once San leaves and you get inside, it’s a matter of minutes before you hop in the shower and get rid of all the hairspray and mascara that’s been making you itch all day. The warm water soothes away your nerves and the impending frostbite from being outside in the cold for far too long. 
Once you feel clean and somewhat scalded you step out onto warm fluffy towels (cheap warm fluffy towels with holes in them) and get situated for bed.
Just as you exit the bathroom your phone rings and you answer immediately, it’s probably Iris wanting you to play a new Among Us mod with her. 
“Iris?”
“Uh, no, Chris.” 
“Oh.” is your initial reply, why would he call you at midnight?
“Where you asleep? I’m sorry I’ll call back another ti-”
“No!” You interject, much too eagerly. “No...it’s fine. I’m not even in bed yet.”
“Oh” He sounds relieved, much the opposite of you.
“I just wanted to congratulate you...The song, it’s great. What’s it like actually singing one you wrote?”
“Great,” You admit with a smile he can't see, “It feels...genuine. I Couldn't stand the thought of giving the song away.”
“I can see why.” He replies in an unreadable tone.
“Did it make you uncomfortable? Me singing...about-”
“No, why would it?” He cuts in, he sounds slightly agitated.
“Look, Chan, I’m sorry. I should’ve texted you, well I did but you changed your number. But it’s my story too, okay? I needed to heal somehow.”
Minutes pass with no answer, as if he’s trying to think of exactly what to say without getting more irritated or to spare your feelings.
“When did I become Chan?” His voice comes out wavering,and it hurts you.
“That’s what everyone calls you now, you’re not just Chris the trainee anymore.” You reply in a gentle way, trying to ease the building tension.
“But to you, when did I stop being Chris?”
“Probably when you broke my heart,” You deadpan, before adding a ‘kidding’ and bullshit reason.
“You weren’t kidding, but you broke mine too. Don’t make me the bad guy.”
This had taken you aback, you had been in a perfectly happy relationship for almost two years and then he changed his mind, said he wasn’t happy and it wasn’t your fault. When the fuck did you break his heart?
“When exactly did that happen?” You query, “Before or after Mijoo?”
Chan lets out a dry laugh, “Don’t talk about what you don’t understand.”
“Well what does it matter? You never told me shit anyways.” You snapped.
“That’s because you wouldn’t fucking listen. Maybe to you it was all sunshine and roses but I was struggling, I changed and outgrew us. I didn’t want to but you were stuck in dreamland where we’d debut at the same time and live happily ever after. I realised it wasn’t going to happen and set you free so you wouldn’t be embarrassed.”
“Embarrassed?” You bark,”Fucking embarrassed of what exaclty? I left that shithole you call your company by choice and worked my way up. I’m not embarrassed, but you should be. You’re a fucking sellout Christopher Bang.”
Before he can reply you end the call and throw your phone at the wall, it would’ve broken only for the forty dollar case the store assistant convinced you to buy. You burst into tears just like you had that night when it all came crashing down. He must’ve loved seeing you in pain, because he keeps doing it even now.
That night, you wish for everything to go back to a time before him and the heartbreak that followed.
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It’s early on a Friday when you’re called into a board meeting with the CEO, Director and San, who looks like someone stepped on his clay masterpiece. You still haven’t been told anything and as the minutes pass by you wonder if they found out about you getting drunk at Club Suran several weeks back. What if someone saw San there too? What if–
Suddenly the doors open and in walks JYP’s CEO, followed by several others and finally Chris. He looks as confused as you, but you quickly look away before he spots you. Last night was still fresh in your mind and you didn’t need anymore reminders or conversations with him.
“Dispatch has sent us several photos of you two together, spanning several years.” Your CEO announces, an Executive pulling the photos up on the screen behind her. “Including one from yesterday.”
“That was a coincidence, we broke up a long time ago.” You admit, she seems satisfied with your answer and nods, which makes you remember that damned dating ban you have.
“Usually, we’d shoot down these rumours immediately...but this could be quite beneficial to both Stray Kids and Y/N.” JYP’s CEO adds, “Stock prices have shown a rise for both of your albums, and real time searches are at an all time high.” 
“I have a girlfriend.” Chan states, arms folded. “So that’s out of the question if you’re implying we fake a relationship.”
“Look Bang Chan,” Begins one of the Advisors, “It’s all for show, we’ll plan every detail and your girlfriend will keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her. Frankly, our sales aren't what they used to be and you need this, if you want complete musical and artistic control.”
Chan takes a while to think, you know this is all he’s wanted. Control over everything he and the boys put out there, with no censorship or edits by anyone else. Your CEO assures you you’ll also benefit from the agreement, including your debt fully cleared and money in your bank account as soon as you sign on the dotted line.
“How long does this last?” You ask, pen in hand.
“Twelve months, then you’re free again.” 
Chan looks to you for conformation and you ignore him, signing it and standing up to leave. You only stop to sign more formalities and then you and San head back to your local coffee shop. 
“Well, you sure have a funny way of moving on.”
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piratewithvigor · 4 years ago
Text
My first thought in regard to every band that gets played on my radio station
ACDC: Every dad’s favourite band
Adams, Bryan: Every mom’s favourite singer until Michael Buble came along
Aerosmith: haha they thought Vince Neil was a lady
Alice Cooper: he’s a Game Of Thrones fanboy and I have proof
Alice In Chains: my sister doesn’t like them because she decided AC were Alice Cooper’s initials ONLY
Allman Brothers Band: good music for dropping acid to
Allman, Gregg: That’s too many Gs for one name
Animals: House Of The Rising Sun, or who even cares
Argent: Sometimes Hold Your Head Up is really catchy
Asia: Tuesdays
Autograph: one of the members went on to be a pharmacist
Bachman-Turner Overdrive: There are just so many pop culture jokes about Taking Care Of Business that whatever I say won’t be as funny
Bad Company: with their song; Bad Company, off their album; Bad Company
Benatar, Pat: Always getting her confused with Patti Smith
Black Crowes: I like them for Lickin, but it doesn’t seem to exist outside of one shoddy video on youtube and my old CD
Blackfoot: this band name feels kind of racy
Black Sabbath: Dio was not better or worse than Ozzy; just different
Blondie: I like Call Me, but Blondie confuses me stylistically
Blue Oyster Cult: MORE COWBELL
Bon Jovi: Hello, childhood trauma, I missed you
Boston: ONE GUY. ONE GUY DID IT ALL AND NO ONE KNOWS
Bowie, David: Don’t let your children watch The Man Who Fell To Earth, or David Bowie’s will end up being the third penis they see in life
Browne, Jackson: Another musician ruined by Supernatural
Buffalo Springfield: Jack Nicholson was at the riot they sing about
Burdon, Eric: no ideas, brain empty
Bush: ditto
Candlebox: ditto once more. Who are these people?
Cars: This band feels so gay and so straight at the same time, I can only assume they’re the poster children of bisexual panic
Cheap Trick: I played Dream Police on Guitar Hero so fucking much because it was the only song anyone who played with me could keep up with
Chicago: Chicago 30 exists, but they do not have 30 albums. Fucking riddle me that
Clapton, Eric: 6 discs in one Greatest Hits is too many. That’s called “re releasing your discography”
Cochrane, Tom: For some reason, everyone thinks Rascal Flats did it better
Cocker, Joe: Belushi did it right
Collective Soul: who?
Collins, Phil: If his biggest hits were done by MCR, they would be emo anthems, but because he’s 5′6″ and from the 80s, they’re not
Cream: *Vietnam flashbacks on the hippie side*
CCR: *Vietnam flashbacks on the war side*
CSNY: David Crosby; meh
Deep Purple: THEY’RE SO MUCH MORE THAN SMOKE ON THE WATER
Def Leppard: the only music for when you’re a heartbroken bitch but also a sexy one
Derek And The Dominos: Clapton and ‘Layla’ broke up
Derringer, Rick: Tom Petty if he was from the midwest
Dio: You thought it was an anime reference, but it was me, Dio
Dire Straits: You can tell how bigoted a radio station is based on how much of Money For Nothing they censor
Doobie Brothers: I have yet to smoke weed, but I listen to the Doobies, and I think that’s pretty close
Dylan, Bob: I take back everything I said about him in my youth
Eagles: Hotel California isn’t their best song, but the memes that come from it are second to none
Edgar Winter Group: @the--blackdahlia
Electric Light Orchestra: Actually an orchestra and sound a fuckton like George Harrison
ELO: I really hesitate to ask what happens with the 7 virgins and a mule
Essex, David: no prominent memories of him
Fabulous Thunderbirds: cannot spell
Faces: Who on earth thought that was a good album name?
Faith No More: I got nothing
Fixx: One Thing Leads To Another is a damn bop
Fleetwood Mac: I ain’t straight, but I’m simply not enough of a witch to enjoy them to full potential
Fogerty, John: He got sued cause he sounded like himself
Foghat: Slow Ride slowly becoming less coherent feels like a drug trip
Foo Fighters: He was just excited to buy a grill
Ford, Lita: deserved better
Foreigner: dramatically overplayed
Frampton, Peter: a masterful user of the talk box
Free: dramatically underplayed
Gabriel, Peter: leaving Genesis changed him a lot
Genesis: if someone likes Genesis, clarify the era, because yes, it does matter
Georgia Satellites: sing like you have a cactus in your ass
Golden Earring: Twilight Zone slaps, but it doesn’t slap as hard as this station thinks it does
Grand Funk Railroad: Funk
Grateful Dead: I like their aesthetic more than their music
Great White: there are so many fucking shark jokes
Greenbaum, Norman: makes me think of Subway for some reason
Green Day: the first of the emo revolution
Greg Kihn Band: RocKihnRoll is literally the most clever album name I’ve ever seen
Guns N Roses: They have more than three good songs, but radio stations never recognize that
Hagar, Sammy: I’m still trying to figure out where he lived to take 16 hours to get to LA driving 55 and how fucking fast was he driving beforehand?
Harrison, George: He went from religious to rock, and if he had continued rocking, he would have gotten too cool 
Head East: I respect people who use breakfast foods as album names
Heart: Magic Man and Barracuda are played at least once every goddamn day. They’re not even the best songs!
Hendrix, Jimi: I have both a cousin and a sibling named after Hendrix references
Henley, Don: Dirty Laundry gives me too much inspiration
Hollies: Somehow sound like they’re both from the 60s and the 80s at the same time
Idol, Billy: he’s doing well for himself
INXS: Terminator vibes
Iris, Donnie: knockoff Roy Orbison
James Gang: too many funks
Jane’s Addiction: if TMNT had a grunge band representative
Jefferson Airplane: *assorted cheers*
Jefferson Starship: *assorted boos*
Jethro Tull: The only band to make you feel not cool enough to play the flute
Jett, Joan: icon
J. Geils Band: I requested them on the radio once and it got played
Joel, Billy: he really did just air everybody’s business like that
John Cafferty And The Beaver Brown Band: literally wtf is that name
John, Elton: yarn Elton sits in my basement, unstaring. Please someone take him from me
Joplin, Janis: Queen
Journey: Stop overplaying Don’t Stop Believing. It takes away from the rest of the repetoire
Judas Priest: literally started the gay leather aesthetic
Kansas: another fucking band Supernatural stole
Kenny Wayne Shepherd: the man confuses me to the point where he isn’t in the right place alphabetically
Kiss: Mick Mars and I will simply have to disagree on the subject
Kravitz, Lenny: runaway vibes
Led Zeppelin: Fucking fight me if you don’t think they’re the most talented band (maybe not the most talented individually, but collectively, no one comes close)
Lennon, John: My least favourite Beatle for reasons
Live: I got nothin
Living Colour: slap a decent amount
Loverboy: do you not get TURNT the fuck up to the big Loverboy hits? Who hurt you??
Lynyrd Skynyrd: Sweet Home Alabama is a Neil Young diss track
Marshall Tucker Band: no opinion
Manfred Mann’s Earth Band: VERY STRONG OPINIONS THAT THEY AREN’T GOOD
McCartney, Paul/Wings: Power couple
Meatloaf: I have nothing but respect for a man who willingly named himself Meatloaf
Mellencamp, John: voted cutest lesbian of 1987
Metallica: I liked their appearance on Jimmy Fallon
Midnight Oil: I get them confused for Talking Heads a lot
Modern English: who?
Molly Hatchet: Hollies vibes, but also Georgia Satellites vibes
Money, Eddie: DAN AVIDAN, IF YOU SEE THIS, COVER TAKE ME HOME TONIGHT
Motley Crue: Stan Mick Mars and John Corabi. They’re the only ones who deserve it
Mott The Hoople: no one loves them except for David Bowie
Mountain: props for naming an album ‘Climbing’
Nazareth: I want to make a John Mulaney joke here, but I can never come up with one
Nicks, Stevie: witch queen
Night Ranger: I get them confused with Urge Overkill
Nirvana: Kurt Cobain was the ally grunge needed
Nova, Aldo: he’s Canadian, at least
Nugent, Ted: *serves a ghost as jerky*
Offspring: nothing here
Osbourne, Ozzy: this bitch crazy
Outfield: Your Love is kind of a sketchy song, but it slaps hard
Palmer, Robert: low quality Eddie Money
Pearl Jam: *grunts in Eddie Vedder*
Petty, Tom: I have so many feelings about Tom Petty and they are all good
Pink Floyd: which one is Pink?
Plant, Robert: solo career is a crapshoot, but his voice is unparalleled
Poison: I want them to write a song called ‘Alice Cooper’
Pretenders: I want to say good things, but I have nothing to say
Queen: A doctor of astrophysics, a screaming girl, a disco queen and a diva walk into a bar. It’s Queen; they’re there to play a gig
Queensryche: neutral opinion
Quiet Riot: they got big because of a song they hated. I love that
Rafferty, Gerry: the second-sexiest sax opening in all of music
Rainbow: Ritchie Blackmore created something very magnificent
Ram Jam: one good song and they didn’t even write it
Ratt: I’m sure they have more than Round And Round, but I don’t know it
RHCP: funky, but if you have paid money to hear them, you’re going to The Bad Place (I don’t make the rules)
Red Rider: basically Golden Earring
Reed, Lou: Walk On The Wild Side would be such a cool song if it wasn’t so dull
REM: American Tragically Hip
REO Speedwagon: Props for having a dad joke as an album title
Rolling Stones: Never in my life could I imagine the drummer being named anything but Charlie
Rush: How to make being uncool the coolest fucking shit
Santana: The world needs more Santana
Scandal: There’s something really funny about The Warrior being my brother’s “song” with his girlfriend
Scorpions: Was Wind Of Change written by the CIA? Only the spotify podcast I got an ad for once could say
Seger, Bob: A different variety of Eric Clapton (frankly a better variety, but that’s just me)
Simple Minds: we ALL forgot about you
Skid Row: Sebastian Bach is prettier than all of us
Soundgarden: music that makes you feel like you dunked your head underwater
Springsteen, Bruce: my arch-nemesis. Maybe someday, he’ll find out about it
Squeeze: according to my friends, the stupidest band name ever, but they’re theatre kids, so you know
Squier, Billy: If he can make it through 1984 alive, you can make it through whatever bad day you’re having
Stealers Wheel: Yet another band who I always mistake for George Harrison
Steely Dan: my house’s nickname for the Robber in Settlers Of Catan
Steppenwolf: Either makes me think of Jay & Silent Bob, Jack Nicholson, or that time I had to cut 6lbs of onions
Steve Miller Band: when you’re in the right mood, they slap hard
Stewart, Rod: my soundtrack to summer 2015
Stills, Stephen: Love The One You’re With Is Catchy, but the lyrics are questionable
Stone Temple Pilots: the only band to write a song about goo you smear on yourself
Stray Cats: an obscene amount of merch is available for them
Styx: Supernatural would have ruined them for me too if I hadn’t been into them previously. 
Supertramp: I hunted for Breakfast In America for two years and it was worth every hunt
Sweet: I will never understand my two-month obsession with Ballroom Blitz when I was 15, but it was legit all I listened to
Talking Heads: you may find yourself in a pizza hut. And you may find yourself in a taco bell. And you may find yourself at the combination pizza hut and taco bell. And you may ask yourself; ‘how did I get here?’
Temple Of The Dog: I keep confusing them for Nazareth
Ten Years After: somehow still relevant
Tesla: not the car or the dude
The Beatles: Evokes a lot of opinions from people. Mine is that I love them
The Clash: I showed my sister the ‘Lock The Taskbar’ vine ONCE and it still kills her
The Doors: evokes teenage terror from deep within my soul
The Guess Who: Canada’s answer to confusing question-themed band names
The Kinks: kinky
The Police: wrote the theme of 2020 and everyone somehow forgot it was about a teacher resisting becoming a pedophile
The Ramones: playing all of their songs in a row wouldn’t take more than 2 hours
The Romantics: you don’t think you know them, but if you’ve seen Shrek 2, you have
The Who: If someone can explain Tommy to me, I’d be glad to hear it
The Zombies: I think they happened because of the 60s
Thin Lizzy: Could the boys maybe leave town?
Thorogood, George: blues, but make it modern
Toto: the most memed song behind All Star
Townshend, Pete: just makes me think of the end of Mr. Deeds
T-Rex: Mark Bolan is an icon
Triumph: The no-name brand of Rush
Tubes: like the yogurt
Twisted Sister: they did a christmas album and my mom does NOT hate it
U2: U2 Movers; we move in mysterious ways
Van Halen: RIP Eddie
Van Morrison: honestly, who’s named Van?
Vaughn, Stevie Ray: Steamy Ray Vaughn
Walsh, Joe: The Smoker You Drink The Player You Get
War: Foghat, but even groovier
Whitesnake: the most successful band to be named after a penis
Wright, Gary: the 90s thanks him for writing the song every movie used for the “guy sees cute girl and it’s love at first sight” scene
Yes: To Be Continued
Young, Neil: The best part of CSNY
Zevon, Warren: the album cover of Excitable Boy makes me deeply uncomfortable for reasons I don’t understand
ZZ Top: has been the same three guys since 1969. Lineup unchanged. 
3 Doors Down: They feel a little modern to be on a classic rock station, but whatever
38 Special: Why 38?
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kaylor · 3 years ago
Note
what do you think are the worst worst lyrics in Lover and Rep? from mines is more on the just mediocre and BAD side in Gorgeous when she sings "cause look at your FACE!!!" i cringe every single time taylor sweetie this is not you. and from Lover...the entire song 'i forgot that you existed' i hate it i hate it so much cannot believe its the album opener
ohhhhhhh thank you for this opportunity to be a bitch <3
they're burning all the witches even if you aren't one (awkward, clunky)
all of gorgeous. sorry i know she's a fun drunk lesbian anthem but it's also bad.
i want to wear his initial on a chain round my neck chain round my neck not because he owns me but cause he really knows me which is more than they can say (AWFUL what are you? 12?)
walking with his head down i'm the one he's walking to (like....ok? it just sucks as a lyric)
all of the man (fucking abomination of a song, still bops tho)
all the king's horses, all the king's men couldn't put me together again (ok i understand what she was going for with the never grew up, disillusioned fairy tale theme but it's just a bit awk)
he got that boyish look that i like in a man
maathp (i don't Hate the lyrics i just think the general vibe and execution is Bad)
london boy (jail time)
yntcd (as above)
put you in jail for something you didn't do/it's so excruciating to see you low (most of afterglow is very clunky and ill fitting which sucks because i like the vibe and production actually)
it's morning now, it's brighter now, now! but it's golden!! golden!!!!!! you gotta step into the daylight and let it go (sorry i just hate it. the daylight lyrics are so.... fucking cringe. sorry!!!!)
you may have noticed i didn't put anything from iftye and me but uh. confession. i honestly think most of the lyrics in iftye are actually quite fun and clever and they flow really well but as a song it's just so bad, literally her worst album opener & i can't get away from how insincere/disingenuous it sounds considering what we know about this woman's inability to be indifferent towards literally anything. it sounds like she's trying really hard to write a song about her narrative and it just does not work at all. wow so meta.
and me also doesn't have any actually Bad lyrics, like within the framework of a bubblegum pop song every line is snappy and does what it's supposed to. love or hate the song, but the verses slap. arguably "baby that's the fun of me/you can't spell awesome without me" is horrific but in the context of the song anything deeper would just sound dumb lol. it's in the songs where she allows herself more freedom and tries to be deep that she tends to get a bit lost (cornelia street and daylight, even though CS doesn't have anything that stands out as bad it's mostly just very middling and rambly). folkmore has some moments like this too but far less than on lover, she really improved SO much lyrically in between these releases.
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riversofmars · 4 years ago
Note
Sometimes 13 just poses as a student and attends rivers lectures.
Hellooo! I’ve been saving this prompt for a long time cause I love it so much and now finally did something exciting with it! This is actually a little collaboration I did with @serawalkerwrites. She keeps getting asked to write for DW and never has, so we decided to do a little thing together! Basically, we took turns writing paragraphs! She's written the River bits and I wrote for 13. Really fun thing to do because our styles are quite different but it worked :D Apart from the fact that she made me write in present tense which I hate lmao! Also, if you like American Horror Story or Ratched, check out her stuff!
Rating: Teen
Word Count: 2300
Read on AO3 or below
Like The First Time
“I might be younger and far prettier than the other Professors at this University, but that doesn't mean I don't expect the same level of good behaviour from my students,“ Professor River Song barks up the rows of lecture hall seating, slapping her papers on the desk. She tosses her bouncing curls of hair and brings her hands to her hips, watching the chatting students in the back row and waiting for them to take notice. That blonde girl seems to whispering at some speed, with enthusiastic hand gestures to boot. “That means you in the back row!“ She raises her voice again, finally getting the young blondes attention.
The Doctor hadn’t been able to stop herself. When River had started talking about the Venusian tomb she’d visited not long ago, it had been a perfect opportunity to tell the other students about the time she’d been invited to a funeral service there. It’s an incredibly stupid thing to do, of course. She isn’t meant to interact with anyone - as strictly speaking - she isn’t meant to be here. For a start she isn’t actually a student at Luna University; for another, she could very well be causing some damage to the fabric of space and time. Visiting her wife earlier in her timeline is risky… but she hasn’t been able to stay away. Sometimes, when the Doctor misses her a lot, she sits in on her lectures, right at the back. She knows River won’t recognise her and she never speaks to her… there’s no harm no foul is there? However, a slip up is bound to happen eventually.
Now, as she looks at River, who is shooting her piercing glare from the front of the auditorium, the Doctor realises she’s messed up. The Doctor looks left and right to the other students, hoping it’s one of them River is scolding.
“Yes you, don't act like I cant see you -“ River lifts her eyebrows at the petulant student. “Forget it, I’m not shouting at you from down here, stay behind after class. Then we’ll talk, and believe me you won’t like what I have to say.“ River rolls her eyes away, a taut huff tumbling from her lips to find her inner calm once again, before continuing. “Now where were we…“
The Doctor shrinks back in her seat, her neighbouring students giving her sympathetic smiles. Others just snicker and smirk. River has a reputation for strictness, no-one messes with her…The Doctor’s made a big mistake. She glances to the exit; she can still escape this situation. But if she does, she’ll never be able to come back. Perhaps it’s time to face her wife at last. She gnaws her bottom lip anxiously and tries her best to sit still for the remainder of the lecture.
As a shrill bell rings out, signalling the end of class and an end to the Doctors torture, River watches the troublemaker while she packs her things. Students rise to their feet, stuff their bags with books and file out in an eager swarm, heading into the midday sunshine. But not this student. She’s bouncing down the steps to the front, an epic grey coat and too-short trousers have her piquing River’s interest before they start talking. “Ah, good. At least you decided to be smart this time and not run-off out the doors. I would have found you,“ River informs the girl, whose swinging her arms and looking guilty. If this were any other circumstance, then River might have bought her a drink. But as it is, she's her student, however adorable she is. “Care to tell me what is so pressing you had to take time out of my lecture to talk about it?“
“Ah well, you know, the whole thing about the Venusian tomb, just brought back some memories to when I was learning Venusian aikido. There was this one time when I was invited to a funeral at one, which - you know - is a big deal for any outsider and…“ The Doctor starts rambling, unable to stop herself. A grin spreads across her features, hoping to entertain River with her story, as she had done so many times in the past. River always liked to listen to recounts of her adventures.
“Venusian Aikido?“ River folds her arms, skeptical. “They don’t teach that to just anyone. I happen to be a black belt myself.“
“Oh I know.“ The Doctor grins.
“It’s not on my resumé,“ River parries, her eyebrows lifting into an arch. “So someone told you. Perhaps at this funeral, you supposedly attended?“ River laughs doubting the girls claims. “No-one just gets invited to a Venusian funeral, or a wedding, or any kind of ceremony unless you’re a honoured noble. Which you clearly cannot be, no offence Sweetie but -“ River pauses. She stares at the blonde and her mismatched clothing, then bunches her lips. “What did you say your name was?“
The Doctor doesn’t answer immediately. This is it, the moment of truth. She could just tell her… surely there’s no harm in it. This is River Song after losing her parents in Manhattan, and before Darillium; there is no real reason to keep her identity from her. Apart from the fact that she isn't sure how she will react. They didn’t see each other for so long in between Manhattan and Darillium, enough for River to come to doubt if the Doctor had ever truly loved her. Her words still echo through the back of the Doctor’s mind now. The Doctor doesn’t and has never loved me. - But you are the woman who loves the Doctor. - Yes I am. I never denied it. But whoever said he loved me back? Those words still haunt the Doctor, even after spending 24 years with her in which she’d done everything she could to convince her of just the opposite.
“Jane Smith.“ The Doctor answers at last with a thin smile.
River lets out a loud chortle. “Jane Smith? Of course it is,“ River replies not believing her for a second. Who has the most standard name of all names like that? River postures a little, shuffles her papers around into a neat pile already thinking of the lunch that’s waiting for her in the refectory, because she's not getting any truth from this girl. “I don't recall your name on my student register; so…how about you tell me the truth.“ River hooks her bag over her shoulder and takes a long stride forward, claiming the podium as her space, the lecturer to the student. River examines her, because if she’s not her student, then who is she? All beautiful round eyes and choppy blonde hair, River certainly doesn't recognise her. Should she, recognise her? “Or you can come to my office and explain yourself there.“
“I uhh…“ The Doctor swallows hard. Of course she doesn’t believe her, people rarely do initially; but usually she can use her psychic paper to back up her identity. She knows River would see right through that if she tried it, so that isn’t an option. “Well, I’ve actually got somewhere else to be. A really very important…thing. A thing that can’t wait, so…it was really nice talking to you, brilliant lecture. Slightly exaggerated in some parts but - you know - got to keep the students engaged…“ Her eyes flick to the door. She’s parked her TARDIS in a supply closet, so it’s not far away.
“Are you calling my stories embellished?“ River trails after this Jane Smith towards the door, flabbergasted. She’s a bone fide time traveller, she knows her subject matter better than anyone in the known universe, except  - “It’s not as though you can possible know better? How old are you anyway, twelve?“ She carries on trying to get under the girl’s skin, who is clearly hiding something.  “Where on earth are you going? You realise that’s the closet.“
“Why are you following me?“ The Doctor had hoped to simply shake her but River seems to have different ideas. She doesn’t dare open the supply closet door, River would see the TARDIS and she would be done for. But where else could she possibly go? She looks around anxiously for a way out.
“Mmm it seems you might be trapped…“ River drops her voice to a knowing whisper. She smirks, delighting in watching the girl fret.
“I just… forgot which way I… uhh…“ The Doctor struggles for a response suddenly aware of how close River is getting to her. And that smirk… She knows it all too well. Like a lioness stalking her prey. She can’t even think of a credible lie to get her out of her predicament.
“Which way you meant to go?“ River bobs her finger on her lip pretending to think hard about it. “My office is this way, if you didn't get the hint earlier.“ River ghosts her hands over the girls hips, rubbing into her hipbones with her thumbs and sucking her lips and humming. “Jane Smith. I appreciate the code name. You can slip me your paper later, I’ll be sure to mark it up a grade, well, depending on your performance of course.“ River winks coyly.
“I…“ The Doctor’s mouth suddenly feels really dry, she can’t speak. Flirting and reading innuendo isn’t exactly her forte but River can’t possibly be more obvious with her advances. Is this what River is like when she isn’t around? The Doctor isn’t sure whether to be flattered or hurt. They’re not exactly exclusive but she doesn’t like her nose rubbed in it like this. But at the same time, perhaps this is an opportunity… She could be with River without having to reveal her identity… but is that something she wanted to do under false pretences?
“Good talk, come along!“ River grins and leads the way across the lecture hall to the staff door, and unlocks it with a quick key-twizzle, then presses the door open wide to wave ‚Jane‘ through. River uses the opportunity to loop her arm around Jane’s waist and scoops her in the right direction down the hall towards her office.
The Doctor doesn’t know what to do. Things are moving fast, River doesn’t even give her a chance to protest. Her hearts seem to skip their beats when River pulls her along.
Once inside, River tosses the door shut and wastes no time in pushing Jane against it, roaming her hands up and down her sides and snapping the elastic braces. “These are retro, but I can go with the flow, off they coooome…“ River sings as she yanks them off Jane’s shoulders, then the coat, and where is the edge of this t-shirt? River is keen to feel her hands up Jane’s abdomen, and the flush of her skin. River knows her hands are rough - years of archeological digs will do that to a girl - but Jane is young and sweet enough to need a little roughing up.
“River…“ The Doctor tries to protest, this was moving too fast. Her breath catches when River untucks her t-shirt. The Doctor is still getting used to this new body and she suddenly feels very hot.
“First names already? My my…“ River tosses her mane of hair out the way as she leans in to kiss Jane on the neck, biting her and enjoying teasing her far too much. “Sweetie you do give yourself away, even in this body,“ River tickles her teeth along the Doctor’s collarbone searching for the next spot to bite. “I mean, I like it darling, but give me a heads next time -“ River explores the Doctor’s petite body with enthusiasm. “My apparatus is your apparatus and all that, got to get my head around it.“
“You knew?!“ The Doctor blurts out and pushes her off, holds her at arms length. “And you just played along?!“ She’s breathless from River’s kisses but her outrage overshadows her arousal.
River unbuttons her shirt confidently, tearing the sides apart and presenting her body to the Doctor once again, even if it’s all new for the Doctor, River is still River. “Well what did you think? I do this with all my students, Jane Smith?“ She smiles a broad, proud River smile and holds her hands out for the Doctor to take. “I’m married, remember?“ Mutually exclusive is…a bit of stretch, there might be other husbands here and there, but there is only one Doctor. “So, wife, how about a little ride on the merry-go-round with this new body?“
The Doctor just stares at her for a moment. It’s been a while since Darillium but she still recalls every moment, and River is just as beautiful as she remembers. And just as much of a temptress. She bites her lip, suddenly feeling very insecure. It would be her first time in this body…and it’s her first time being a woman as far as she can remember. That’s a lot to be anxious about.
Softening the come-on, River takes the Doctors hands and steps closer to her, squeezing her hands in reassurance. “I knew it would happen eventually, a wife and not a husband. It’s okay, you know.“ River takes a deep breath, and kisses her wife properly for the first time. Her lips are thinner softer and taste of cinnamon, but she kisses back just like her husband did. Her Doctor. “I love you. This adorable new body is just a bonus,“ she says gently, then kisses her nose for extra effect.
The Doctor can’t help but chuckle as she looks up to her. This was new. She is shorter than her! Though only due to River’s ridiculously high heels.
“I love you, too.“ She whispers nuzzling into her crook of her neck as she wraps her arms around her. River smells exactly the way she remembers, like sunshine on a spring day. “I’ve missed you so much.“ She confesses.
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ctl-yuejie · 2 years ago
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ep 13. kinnporsche - spoilers
I shouldn't laugh but it was pretty hilarious how he slapped that plate out of Vegas hand
also very much in favor of how messed up vegas pete are
Peter knight
slightly confused at how kinn seemingly is okay with his dad wanting to take more control again
i really enjoy kinn and porsche and the overall wholesomeness and also the delicious undercurrent of tension
Bible and Vegas continue to excel
I will defend himbo porsche with everything I have but tankhun was so right to set kinn straight
omg VegasPete are a lot but oh wow is this an excellent dynamic (Bible and Build are fucking eating this scene)
Hello, I love being right about vegaspete and what the show is going for. 10 points for me and 11 for Pete for being a badass mf
I both can and cannot believe thankuns choice in mourning robes
I have become used to the tone changes but this funeral really is sth
lovely that we are keeping porsche afraid of ghost
I didn't know I wanted it but that call back to porsche feeling abused. oh god, Pete is breaking heart
awwww, baby porché making me said. awwww, now Kim is also all in his emotions . why don't you stay continues to be a gorgeous song. barcode really nails the romantic earnestness...oh god these two brothers so desperately in need of feeling loved...ahhhh....
the vegas pete destruction is really hitting the best places.
I only agree with taking him to yok if she gets Pete a way to relax. cannot be mad at tankhun for making it about himself
OH YES!
OH NO!
I mean, yes to the mess but oh boy....porsche please don't.
this is a changed vegas, but not sure as to in what direction
PORSCHE AHHHH from what you know you should've never brought Pete here
Build looks fucking amazing
don't like porsche for this but also: hello to this scene.
for some reason this vegaspete scene is giving me the weirdest twist on romeo and julie vibe
(sidebar: why is Porsche still in the bodyguard outfit, someone explain, unless Kinn has a kink)
ah, it is this scene. love how tasteful they go about the nude scenes. the lowkey sad instrumental is sending me. Apo and Mile are so great at kissing it is a delight.
porsche leaving that cute smiley on the card, dork
Peter Knight! Here again to distract the youngsters from going against Korns plan
Vegas is such a snake but I live for his face when he watches porsche and his uncle having their row
trauma aside I love that vegas has to take care of porsche and gets confronted with the Kinn Pete duo just a good excursion all around.
we end on a classic soap opera twist, love this show
edit: cannot believe that I forgot - just like the show - that Big still didn't get a funeral
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unholyobsessions · 4 years ago
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Take a sick day (or a dozen)
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Pairing: Julie x Luke
Description: Five times Julie takes care of Luke and one time he returns the favor
Requested: Yes
A/N: For the first part technically, Luke should not have gotten the symptoms as quickly, it normally takes days, but let’s just pretend okay? let’s not worry about technicalities
Warnings: Sickness, light cursing
Word Count: 4.7k
Masterlist 
It’s the middle of July. Julie should be getting ready to go to college not taking care of her stupidly adorable little brother. Her dad is out of town photographing a wedding, so when Carlos comes down with Chicken Pox, she is stuck with nurse duty. 
Luke, her ever so caring boyfriend, offers to help her so that is why they are both running around the house, waiting on Carlos hand and foot. Julie keeps phoning the doctor every thirty minutes because Carlos still will not eat and Luke keeps replacing the cold towel on his forehead. 
What Luke forgot to mention when he offered to help was that he never got the Chicken pox as a child. After the third day Luke woke up, scratching at his arms and torso non stop, Julie starts getting worried. A few hours later she gets tired of seeing Luke not so subtly scratching again, so she grabs his arm and pulls up his sleeve. His arms are covered with blisters and Julie lets out a loud gasp. 
“You lied!” Julie exclaimed. 
Luke pulls his arms away from her grasp and raises them in defense. “Technically I didn’t lie. I did not know I never got chicken pox!.” He counters her accusation and Carlos, who is sitting between them, just glances back and forth between the two, highly amused by the interaction. 
“Go take a shower, I’ll go call the doctor and ask him what to do when an eighteen year old idiot gets chicken pox.” Julie huffed out, getting up from her crouched position beside the bed. 
Carlos and Luke stared after her and the former shook his head. “You’re lucky she loves you.” 
Luke let out a small laugh and pushed himself up. “Yeah I am.” 
Fifteen minutes later Luke is out of the shower and now running a high fever. The doctor reassures her that he would be fine and that she should just use the same medication that she has been giving Carlos. 
With that out of the way, Julie realizes that Luke is a giant baby. He complains more than Carlos and whines about the slightest inconvenience. It should be in her best interest to send him home and have his parents take care of him but she knows they both have full time jobs and cannot afford to take a week off to take care of him. So she muscles through it, running back and forth between Carlos’s room and her own room, where Luke is staying. 
It’s after midnight, two days later, and Carlos has already succumbed to the exhaustion so she is sitting next to her bed, placing a cold towel on Luke’s forehead, who had just been complaining that the room is too hot. A moment later, after he had taken his medicine he turns to look at her, a loving smile on his lips. 
“I love you so much. Thank you for putting up with my bullshit.” He says it so softly that she has to lean forward to hear him properly, but there is so much emotion in that statement that it makes her cheeks flush. 
“I would do it one hundred times over Luke, you know that,” she whispers, reaching a hand toward his, curling their fingers together. 
“I know, but still thank you. I know you would much prefer to spend the weekend shopping with Flynn.” That gets a laugh out of her and Luke smiles triumphantly. 
“You would have found a way to tag along,” she retorts and Luke barks out a loud laugh, immediately followed by a yawn. “Go to sleep, I’m in my dad’s room if you need me.” She presses a kiss on the crown of his head and gets up to leave, turning the lights off on her way out. 
. . .
It’s their first semester at University and things are going great. But of course Luke had to go and ruin it all. Julie really does not know how someone could get sick as easily as Luke. It’s normally a common cold that goes away in twenty four hours but no. He had to go all out. 
It’s flu season and Julie is stuck in a dorm room with her very annoying, very sick, and very adorable roommate/boyfriend. 
Luke can barely move, his body feeling heavy. His head is pounding and the room feels both too hot and too cold at the same time. 
Julie walks back into the room after a quick trip to the local CVS store to get supplies. She really hopes this doesn’t last for more than a few days, because she can’t afford to miss too many classes. She makes the mistake of turning on the light, prompting Luke to grown loudly and yell in discontent as if he were being stabbed. Julie rolls her eyes and turns the light off, settling for the lamp on her desk. 
She pulls out the thermometer from the bag and proceeds to tear up the packaging with her teeth because in her state of stress, she didn’t think of just putting the bag down. Once she finally got it open she put it against his forehead and waited for the indicated beep. 
She hisses once she sees the temperature. “102.5. Damn I was really hoping you didn’t have a fever.” She takes out the packet of pills from the bag and a water bottle and hands him two pills and the open bottle. “Take these.” 
Luke obediently takes them and turns to look at her. “Aren’t you worried about catching it?” 
“Not really. I had my flu shot two weeks ago. I told you to get it but you’re afraid of needles.” Julie deadpans and sits on the edge of his bed. 
Luke shoots up with a sudden burst of energy. “I am not afraid of needles,” he exclaims. 
Julie rolls her eyes and pushes his shoulder lightly. “Yes you are you big baby. Now lay down or you’ll get dizzy.” 
Luke mumbles incoherently, no doubt complaining, but he obeys and lays down, squeezing his eyes shut because just as Julie said, he gets dizzy. Julie pulls the covers up to his shoulders and runs a hand through his hair. Luke hums, content with the feeling of his girlfriend playing with his hair. 
“Can you sing me a song?” He asks after a few minutes, startling Julie who thought he had fallen asleep. 
“Yeah, of course.” She nods her head even though he can’t see her. Luke grasps her arm and pulls her down to lay down next to him. She lets out a small giggle and cuddles up to him
“I’m in my bed
And you're not here”
Luke interrupts her, finally opening his eyes to look at her incredulously. 
“Could you have picked a sadder song?” Julie barks out a loud laugh, slapping a hand over her mouth in order to not be too loud. 
“I’m sorry! It was just the song I had in my head.” Luke shakes his head, whispering a soft “unbelievable,” under his breath.
“Pick something happier but still soft.” 
Julie looked down at him, fully prepared to ask him what the hell he meant by his request, but he has already nuzzled back into her side with his eyes closed. She let out a small sigh with a small smile on her face. 
“Any suggestions?” 
Luke stayed quiet for a second before piping up with a tired voice. “Truly, Madly, Deeply. The One Direction song you showed me other week.” 
She decides not to comment on his unusual choice, Luke never having been one to willingly listen to One Direction (he loves them, he just refuses to admit it.) Julie simply kisses the top of his head and with a deep breath, she begins the song.  
Julie missed three days of classes, and every second not spent doing the work she missed or getting Luke his medicine, was spent singing him to sleep. 
. . .
Luke should have known that eating those hotdogs was a bad idea. The food truck was sketchy and mostly without customers but Reggie and Alex dared him to do it and because he’s a prideful idiot, he did it. Now he is suffering the consequences as he retches the contents of his stomach into the toilet as Julie rubs his back soothingly. 
She’s singing something under her breath, Luke doesn’t recognize it at first so he focuses all his energy on listening to her voice. 
“Sana sana colita de rana si no sana hoy, sanará mañana,” and she repeats it again and again. Luke has stopped throwing up by now and is resting his head on the toilet seat, which is not the most hygienic  but he can barely keep his eyes open much less move. He mumbles something incoherently and Julie leans forward, “What did you say?” 
“What the heck are you singing?” 
Julie has to resist the urge to laugh as she answers. “It’s I guess a saying? I’m not sure how to describe it, it’s just something my mom used to say whenever I would get injured.” 
Luke wants to believe that he nods his head in affirmation but in reality, it doesn’t even look like he’s breathing with how still he is, slumped against the toilet. His lips starts moving but there is no sound escaping them and for a moment Julie thinks he fell asleep, but then his arms reach forward to grip the edge of the seat as he starts throwing up again. 
Julie grimaces and continues to rub his back, only stopping when her phone rings and she has to reach her arm up to the counter to grab it. She speaks in hushed words to the doctor on the other end, nodding her head along to what he’s saying. A few minutes later she hangs up and Luke squints at her, wanting to know what’s going on. 
“Well apparently all of your symptoms align with mild food poisoning. Nothing too serious and since you don’t have a fever, it should go away on its own by tomorrow. Only thing is we have to keep you hydrated so I texted Alex and Reggie to get you some electrolytes.” 
Luke didn’t even try to move this time, simply groaning audibly and clutching an arm around his abdomen, which feels like it’s on fire. After Luke goes a full five minutes without throwing up, Julie brings a hand up to flush the toilet. The sudden noise causing Luke to jump up and turn to Julie with a paranoid gaze. 
Julie, not wanting to make him feel bad, hides her smile by biting her lip. She runs a hand through his sweat matted hair and gently pulls his head onto her lap. She continues to softly speak the ‘sana sana’ because even though she knows now that it doesn’t work, her little seven-year-old self believed it could cure any injuries or sickness. 
She stays in the bathroom floor, back cramping and neck stiff, for about thirty minutes, simply enjoying seeing Luke breathing in and out calmly. She knows that as soon as he wakes up, he will be filled with pain and discomfort so if she has to suffer a few minutes of it, then so be it. 
He is woken up by the sound of a knock on the door, no doubt Reggie and Alex with the supplies she made them get. Luke immediately shoots up and starts gagging and Julie doesn’t know how he can still be throwing up after having done so about five times already. 
She gets up and brings a hand to her neck, yelling out an annoyed “coming!” as the knocking persists. She opens the the door, takes the bag out of their hands, and closes it again, the fact that they are the reason she is in this situation not escaping her. 
She makes Luke brush his teeth before bringing him to bed, knowing he will be much more comfortable. She hands him an opened bottle of the lemon flavored drink, but he pushes it away. Julie rolls her eyes and pushes the drink back toward him. He groans and turns away, refusing to even so much as look at what she is offering. 
“I swear to God Luke if you don’t take this right now, I will pour it down your throat myself.” And she knows she is being a bit harsh but this is the only thing he has to take in order to feel better and he is acting like a child over it. 
With fear in his eyes, Luke takes the bottle, bringing it to his lips and taking the tiniest of sips, his mood immediately brightening at the smile Julie sends him. 
(Julie was right and he did feel infinitely better the next day)
. . .
It was supposed to be romantic.  
Julie smiling widely at him as he twirled her and dipped her repeatedly. Their laughter both echoing louder than fireworks and being drowned out by the wind. The rain hitting them at a rapid pace, quickly soaking them from head to toe. But they didn’t care. They were just two teenager in love, enjoying the clicheness of dancing in the rain to the beat of their hearts, which pounded against their chests as one. 
Luke doesn’t remember when exactly he started to sing, a couple of meaningless lyrics he had had stuck in his head for the a few days. And he is not sure when Julie joined him, but by the time they stopped, they were out of breath, it was already dark, and the large raindrops had turned into a light drizzle. 
So in reality, it was extremely romantic. 
What isn’t romantic is Luke waking up the next day with a horrible cough, congested, and a low fever. He tries to hide it, not wanting to admit it is big deal, but of course, Julie sees right through it. 
“You literally have the immune system of a newborn,” she says with a shake of her head. “Go take a warm shower, I’ll go call the doctor.” 
Luke opens his mouth to protest, but one harsh look from Julie sent his way and he immediately heads to the bathroom. He lets the warm water run over him, closing his eyes and hoping the steam created will ease up his nose. 
By the time he gets out, Julie has placed a warm towel and his favorite pair of sweats on the counter. He smiles and quickly dries up and changes. He pulls on one of his old muscle tanks as he exits the bathroom. 
Julie turns at the sound of the door opening and smiles. “I changed your sheets so they will be more comfortable. And the doctor said to give you the same things as when you had the flu but just in smaller doses.” 
Luke simply stares at her because he can’t help but think how the hell he got so lucky. His head is pounding and his throat is sore but with her sitting there in front of him, looking so effortlessly beautiful, he feels on cloud nine. He scampers off to his bed, taking in the scent of the new sheets and closes his eyes. 
Julie appears next to him a few seconds later, holding a bottle of cough syrup, a water bottle, and a small bottle of pills. He lets out a loud groan that is immediately followed by a cough. 
“You know Luke when I said I would take care of you one hundred times over, I didn’t mean it literally,” she says, trying to feign annoyance, but the loving smile on her face gives her away. “Now take your medicine please.” 
Luke throws his head back but takes the items from her hands. “Only ‘cause you said please,” he pouts. 
Julie snorts and kisses the top of his head before turning around. Luke lets out a sound of protest making her turn around instantly. 
“Where are you going?” He asks, voice filled with concern and disbelief. 
“Uhh class?” She phrases it like a question and shrugs her shoulder, not knowing what else she’s supposed to say. 
“And you’re going to leave me alone?” Luke has the biggest pout gracing his lips and he feels his throat closing in a little. Julie never leaves him alone when he’s sick. 
“You’re going to sleep all day anyway.” Luke shakes his head so fast that he has to squeeze his eyes to stop the room from spinning after. Once he has regained control he looks up to find Julie eyeing him softly and he knows she’s caving, so he puts on his best puppy dog eyes. 
With a defeated sigh, Julie drops her backpack. Luke cheers triumphantly and pats the space next to him.
“Wait. Before you lay down, can you get me one of those wet rags for my forehead?” Luke practically begs, and who is Julie to deny him?
She marches up to their little kitchenette and soaks a rag in cold water before filling a bowl with ice. She places the rag in the bowl and makes her way back to the bed, where Luke is just about ready for cuddles. She places the rag on his forehead and Luke shivers involuntarily. 
It is only a few minutes after Julie lays down beside him, when Luke decides to ask for something else. It seems that since he got her to stay, now he will take full advantage of it. This time he asks for a hot peach tea to ease his throat. And after that it’s a cold water bottle. After that it’s a plate of her peanut butter banana toast. 
By the time Luke falls asleep, she has ran around the room about ten times in order to fulfill his requests.  She lays down in her own bed, absolutely exhausted and is about to fall asleep when a loud whine come from Luke’s bed. With a groan, Julie sits up and her heart melts at the sight. Luke looks at her through half lidded eyes and makes grabby hands at her, clearly not liking having her so far away. 
Julie’s sure that by the time he wakes up he will no longer feel any trace of sickness so she goes and lays next to him, enjoying the familiar weight of his arm around her after a long day. 
. . .
Luke has no idea what words are coming out of his mouth at the moment and he supposes that’s an effect of the drugs. Today is the day he got his wisdom teeth out and his parents were supposed to take care of him for the rest of the day. Unfortunately, they had a last minute business trip and who is left with the responsibility? No one other than Julie. 
So that is why she finds herself lugging a nineteen year old back to the car, as he slurs out sentence fragments that don’t make a lot of sense. She finally gets him into the backseat and she takes a moment to breath before making her way to the drivers side. 
“Vroom vroom.” Luke mimics the sound of the engine turning on as Julie turns the key. 
“Yes Luke vroom vroom,” she responds with a smile on her face. Julie has taken care of Luke a number times but she has a feeling that this will be much different. 
When she parks in front of their dorm Luke lets out a loud ‘whoop’ from his place in the backseat. Julie turns and smiles at him and he does his best to smile back with the amount of cotton in his mouth. 
“The first thing I do,” he pauses as Julie wraps an arm around his waist to lead him up the stairs of their building. “The first thing I will do when I die, is ask Jonbenét Ramsey who killed her.” 
Julie stops walking for a full minute but Luke doesn’t seem to notice as he keeps rambling theories on who he thinks killed her. She looks at him, at first thinking that he is spitting out nonsense and then realizing that what he is saying actually makes a lot of sense. She makes a noise of agreement and continues walking up the stairs, letting go of Luke to open their door. 
Once she gets Luke settled he pulls on her arm and grins up at her, a small amount of saliva dribbling down his chin. “Kiss?” 
Julie shakes her head. “Sorry bud, no kisses until you’re no longer on drugs.” She wipes the drool with the tip of her thumb smiling back at him. He pouts and hugs his stuffed koala closer to his body. 
“Kiss!” He says again with a slight bounce. Julie laughs and shakes her head again, telling him to get some rest. “Cuddle?” He asks, trying to compromise. Julie complies with this request and lays down next to him. 
“You know what?” He mumbles and Julie hums, prompting him to continue. “I love you, more than you could ever possibly imagine.” 
“Is that so?” Julie giggles. 
“Yes. You are,” he furrows his brows to try to find the perfect word to describe her. “You’re music Julie. Your voice is the lyrics of my heart and your laughter the melodies.” 
Julie’s heart stops, her breath hitching as she blinks away tears. “I love you too Luke.” 
When Luke wakes up, he asks Julie if he said anything weird and Julie tells him he didn’t. And maybe it’s a little selfish of her but she wants to keep that little love confession to herself. 
. . .
Julie does not get sick often, so it it quite surprising when Luke wakes up and finds Julie curled up in her bed, groaning in pain. He scampers to her side quickly, gently shaking her shoulder in order to get her attention. With a soft whisper of her name, Julie stirs and squints up at Luke. She releases a whine and pulls the covers over her head. 
Luke’s eyes widen and he freezes for a second because, what the hell is he supposed to do? This situation is normally the other way around. He spots Julie’s phone on her desk and he makes a dash for it, knowing that she has the doctor’s phone number saved. 
“Come on, come on,” he mutters under his breath as the phone rings in his ear. He almost yells in success when the doctor’s voice comes through the phone but he is immediately offended by what the man says. 
“Is your boyfriend sick again Miss Molina?” Luke scoffs and responds in an equally sassy voice, because if Luke Patterson is anything, it’s petty. 
“No, actually Miss Molina is the one sick this time,” He waits for the reply, expecting another dig at him but the doctor shows immediate concern and asks for her symptoms. In that moment Luke realizes he doesn’t know what Julie’s symptoms are and has a weird need to turn to his mom (who isn’t there) and have her answer the questions. “Hang on a second.” 
He goes back to Julie’s side and does his best to get her to say something to him. He tells her that if she tells him what hurts he’ll get her ice cream, not actually expecting it to work. Seconds later, Julie is telling him all of her symptoms which he promptly repeats to the doctor on the other end of the call.
He tells her that it is better to bring her in so he can test her for different sicknesses but the one that caught Luke’s ear, is strep. He got strep (unsurprisingly) when he was younger and although he doesn’t remember all the details, he remembers it sucks. 
He coerces Julie to take a warm shower, insuring her that she will feel much better when she does. With a disgruntled noise and a lot of protest, Luke gets her to the bathroom. As she showers he changes her sheets and gets her favorite hoodie of his from his dresser. He places them on the counter for her and then sits by the door, leg bouncing up and down with anxiety. 
A few minutes later he is driving a sleeping Julie to the doctor’s office where they confirm that she does in fact have strep throat. Julie whines about getting her ice cream to ease her sore throat and he makes her promise that she will eat the chicken soup the doctor recommended first. He get’s to CVS and gets all of the medication the doctor prescribed as well as a pint of Julie’s favorite cookie dough ice cream and a few cans of chicken noodle soup. He can’t cook okay?
He tucks Julie into bed, giving her all the extra pillows so she can sit up as Luke heats up the soup. Julie grumbles about it being from a can and Luke does his best to assure her that it’s good, which includes him having to eat his own bowl of it. She falls asleep immediately after finishing the soup and Luke stays next to her, running fingers through her curly, still slightly damp hair. 
He is scrolling through his phone when Julie starts to stir, a noise of pain exiting her lips followed by a whine. 
“Hurts,” She whispers, cuddling closer to Luke. His heart aches for her and he pulls her even closer, kissing the top of her head. 
“I’m sorry Jules. Anything I can do?” He feels her nod and he looks down at her surprised. “Really? What do you need?” 
“Ice cream,” She mumbles into his chest and Luke’s shoulders start shaking with silent laughter. When he tries to get up, Julie clings to him and he has to remind her that she has to let go in order for him to get her the ice cream. She reluctantly allows him to leave and smiles the brightest she has all day when he comes back with Ben and Jerry’s cookie dough and a big spoon. She quietly enjoys her ice cream as Luke starts up a movie on his laptop. 
Luke spends the rest of the day emailing both his and Julie’s professors which takes much longer than he expects since he only has the use of one arm, Julie clinging to the other one tightly. The response from their professors are about the same, telling them to make sure to do their readings and whatnot. Eventually, when it is already late and dark outside, Luke shuts his laptop and goes to sleep. 
The next day, when Julie is a bit more lucid she pushes Luke off the bed in a haste. He yells out a string of profanities as he hits the floor and Julie looks at him incredulously. 
“Why are you in my bed? I’m going to get you sick!” Luke rolls his eyes as her hand goes to her neck, immediately regretting raising her voice. 
“Really Jules? You literally have taken care of me dozens of times. If you think that I’m not doing the same for you, then you’re insane. I love you and I’ll do anything for you. So lay back down while I heat you up some soup.” Luke gets back up and pushes her back into a laying position. 
Julie complains about it but agrees to his conditions quickly, not really having much energy to argue. She is much less clingy, now fully aware that she could let Luke sick if they’re not careful. 
Luke finds that taking care of Julie isn’t as bad as he thought it would be. He teases Julie about her always complaining after he gets sick and she reminds him that she is much less of a nuisance than he is, which Luke supposes is true. After a week of Luke fighting Julie to take her medicine, long whines, five pints of ice cream, and a whole lot of naps, Julie is feeling much better. Luke says it’s all thanks to him, and Julie agrees with him for the sole reason of seeing him smile after she does so.
The most surprising part though, Luke doesn’t get sick and to them, that is a win within itself. 
(He does end up with a twenty-four hour virus going around campus about three weeks later but that’s a story for another time.)
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pillow-anime-talk · 4 years ago
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greetings!! so uhm i just finished watching HXH and i cannot believe i have a crush on two idiots in a row so can i request for “Ging + 45” & “Hisoka + 50”? if not, i'm so sorry for bothering you ;_;
# tags: scenario; current relationship; romance; comedy; jealousy; drama; angst; suggestive?
includes: gender neutral reader ft. ging freecss & hisoka morow {hxh}
author’s note: hi and thank you! btw, cenario with hisoka reminds me one of one direction song – ‘perfect’, lmao.
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— GING
45. A kiss full of jealousy for the other person. This kind of kiss to show everyone that you belong to each other.
“... Oh! Y/N-chan! You look really beautiful today! Where are you going?” You turned and your gaze met Pariston’s. The man smiled at you and then came closer, resting his hand on his own hip.
“Hi, Pariston. Thank you and vice versa. I’m going to Ging, I have a breakfast for him, because as usual he forgot about it... Recently, all the Zodiacs have so much on their heads... It must be hard for you.” You answered with concern in your voice, and the blond-haired shrugged.
“If our work can help sweet people like you, then it’s worth to doing it.” He assured, and you thanked him shyly. “Maybe I’ll escort you to Ging? We’ll talk for a while more.”
“Sure, thank you.”
You talked until you and he showed up in one of the many rooms where the dark-haired was resting his legs on the long table and probably sleeping soundly. So you turned to Hill, thanked him once again and he replied that you should come here more often, because you are great talking to and you’re getting sweeter every day. This sentence brought Ging to the ground, then made him stand up from his wooden chair and walk towards you two. You didn’t even notice him until you felt a touch on your wrist and a kiss on your lips, which surprised not only you, but also the standing hunter.
“Woah, woah. Okay, Ging. I understand.” Pariston laughed, then turned away so as not to disturb you, though mentally he really wanted to tease him even more. “Anyway, the offer is always up, so come back sometimes. See ya, Y/N-chan!” He added and then left the room, slamming the door. 
However, after a few more seconds, you moved away from the man and looked at him with a frown.
“What?” He asked casually, and you slapped him lightly on the shoulder, laughing under your breath. “He was hitting on you.”
“You don’t have to act like this. You know you’re the one I come here for, you fool. And take your breakfast because you forgot about it again.” You gave him a bag with food prepared by you, and he smiled lazily in your direction.
“... I’ll continue to do so anyway.”
“Ging, you idiot. Stop destroying my reputation.”
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— HISOKA
50. A breathtaking ‘goodbye’ kiss.
Hisoka loved to run away, and that was nothing new in your relationship. He appeared and then disappeared for several hours, days or even weeks without even giving a single sign that he was still alive and that he would come back to you sometime. You got used to it because after all you had been dating for four years and during that time you learned everything about each other.
That’s why you always kissed him as if it were a goodbye kiss; no matter if it was night and you just finished having sex, no matter if it was nine in the morning and you were going to the store for fresh bread, no matter if you watched a movie or the news and talked about what you would eat for dinner tomorrow. Your every kiss was long, warm, sometimes even hungry and always full of feelings.
Hisoka knew he wasn’t the perfect partner for you – after all, who leaves someone they love to go to a totally random place and challenge people to a fight, putting all of themselves at risk? Certainly no one normal. But has Hisoka ever told you that he’s a good and sane person? He was unique, but at the same time extremely irresponsible; you even liked that in him, no gonna lie.
However, on the other hand, you were never sure how long your next meeting would last and how long your next separation would last.
That was the reason why you were standing in the middle of the living room now, hugging him tightly with your eyes closed. You wanted to enjoy his presence, smell, voice and appearance because you knew perfectly well that in the next short moments or long days you might miss it.
As soon as you calmed down your thoughts a bit, you stood on your tiptoes and then reached over to his mouth to taste them one more time. They were hot as always, a little chapped and chewed, but definitely worth to touching and remembering for the future.
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noirlevity · 3 years ago
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Scent chapter 15
Pairing: TadaAi
Fandom: Sk8 the Infinity
Synopsis: Ainosuke once loved Tadashi, but ever since he broke his heart, he decided to never have anything to do with him. But what happens if he meets him again after so many years and finds out a secret that will change both of their lives forever?
Chapter summary: Ainosuke is not giving up. Tadashi insists on breaking their bond.
Tags: Omegaverse, forced bonding, forced marriage, sorta angst, slow burn, sorta reversible but I am for top!Tadashi so maybe no explicit smut with bottom Tada in the future
A/N:  This chapter should be read while listening to Can't help falling in love with you. Preferrably Haley Reinhart's cover. I suggest rereading the previous chapter and then this for full effect maybe. Haha. Enjoy.
Read: AO3 || 1 2 3 4 4.5 4.6 4.7 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14
If you're just stuck in what we had before then it's better for us not to try.
The words were like a slap in the face. It reduces into nothing the turmoil and anxiety that Ainosuke accumulated thus far in mulling over whether or not he should confess. Instead of paying attention to the crushing sensation in his throat, he stares outside of the window to distract himself.
Dust seems to get caught in his eye making him tear up. There is a numb sensation that spreads over his chest. While tears did not fall down his face, he feels empty as though he has shed every tear he is capable of. This sensation is unlike what he experienced before. It’s something that comes after knowing you already did what needs to be done and yet it still wasn’t enough. 
If truth be told, there was no expectation that Tadashi will reciprocate his feelings, and yet something in him still hoped that he could. That he would. Somewhere in his heart, he believed that Tadashi would give him a chance. 
Tadashi's love wasn't the love he wanted, but perhaps it can be something that they both need.
Ainosuke swallowed the pain Tadashi's words caused him. Now, anger washes over him. It makes his mind clear. He asks the question why? Why can’t Tadashi like him just as he likes him? Why does he allow him to do things only lovers would just to say to him that they cannot be with each other? What prevents him from doing so? Ainosuke didn’t know what to think anymore. It was also his fault for assuming things; for believing in Takahisa’s words. Maybe he is just used to getting people to fall for him that he forgot Tadashi is immune to his charms. 
It's fine. This was to be expected. I just wanted to tell him I love him.
And yet, no matter how many times he consoled himself, it was no use. The rejection was painful. Ainosuke has never been rejected before. When it comes to romance, he is always the one who's chased; the one who calls the shots. Pondering for a while, he realized that he didn't think that confession through. 
When they arrived home, instead of going straight to Tadashi's room, he rushed to his office. He took the liquor that he keeps there and started drinking his heart out. The silence worsened his mood so he turned on the radio. He closed his eyes and listened to the song that was playing. 
Wise men say, only fools rush in…… but I…. can't …..help falling in love with you.
At those lyrics, the tears just started coming. 
It was unfair. 
He put down his glass and covered his mouth to choke back sobs. He loved Tadashi with a love that his heart is allowed to hold. But sometimes he feels that the space in his heart cannot contain all the love that he has for him. It fills his heart to the brim threatening to spill. In times like this when he thinks of him, about the way he smiles, the way his gentle hands would touch him, Ainosuke believes that maybe he needs two hearts to cope with how much he loved Tadashi. 
It was not helping that the music forced him to remember that first time he met Tadashi. He was trying to run away from his maids to play in the garden. At that time he heard that there was a child that would often visit the mansion. Ainosuke got curious and wanted to meet him. 
They say that it takes 7 seconds to fall in love. Staring into Tadashi’s eyes, young Ainosuke knew that he wanted to be with Tadashi for the rest of his life. His feelings haven’t changed. When they met again after years of separation, Ainosuke felt like a fool wanting to run to him to embrace him. 
Indeed fools rush in. 
Would it be a sin
If I can't help falling in love with you?
One drink after another. Ainosuke was trying to numb the pain in his chest. He tried falling out of love but he can’t. It’s as if he wasn’t capable of doing so. He is trapped in a cycle that ends with him realizing he is in love with Tadashi. There is no way out. Every time he thinks about how much he loves him, there is only desperation, frustration, and anger. 
Take my hand,
Take my whole life too
For I can’t help falling in love with you. 
Ainosuke could not help think about how cursed he was. But the cruelest thing is, he still wants to hope. It is unwarranted. It is foolish. But he loves him so much to give up. He can’t help falling in love. The song in itself feels like a validation of his feelings.   
As the songs come after one another, everything fades out as Ainosuke falls asleep on his desk. 
----
It was close to 10 pm when Ainosuke still hadn't come to their room. Tadashi just finished reading the articles about bonds and how to break them. He turned his computer off and went to fetch Ainosuke.
When he knocked on the door, there was no reply. After trying again, he opened the door and realized that the door was locked. Worried, he went to get the key. He entered the office and saw Ainosuke hunched over his desk with an empty bottle of heavy liquor beside him. Tadashi rushed to his side. Ainosuke passed out. He tried waking him but he would not wake. Giving up, Tadashi took his arm and put it around his shoulder. He lifted Ainosuke to help him stand. An office desk was not a place to sleep. 
Tadashi dragged Ainosuke to the door to transfer him to his room. It was nearer. As they walked, Ainosuke woke up a bit. 
"Tadashi," Ainosuke slurs.
He stares and caresses the side of Tadashi's face.
"I love you."
Ainosuke plants a kiss on Tadashi's cheek and slumps against him.
Tadashi adjusts his hold on him. When they arrived in the room, Tadashi laid Ainosuke down on his bed. He takes off his shoes and undid his buttons.
"Tadashi…" Ainosuke moans.
"If I wasn't who I was would you date me?"
Tadashi didn't respond. He continued taking off Ainosuke’s clothes. 
"If rather than a politician's son, I was like Take, would you have loved me differently?"
Hands stop. Tadashi only responded with a sad face.
----
Tadashi is tired. He has been reading investigations on the attacks. The source of the drug was unknown but Tadashi managed to get information on which place it usually comes from. It was hard for him to get a hold of such information. He had to infiltrate the police's security system to get it.
The lack of information was very hard. He is at his wit's end. If he could infiltrate himself, he'd do it, but he was wary about drugs. He didn't want to have anything to do with it. 
Apart from that, he is researching how to break his bond with Ainosuke. Since forming bonds are rare in the current society, there was little to no research on the mechanism of how bonds form and the process of how it can be broken. He has contacted his doctor to ask about how to break his bond, but the information from him was something that wasn't new to him already. It was either one of them die or Tadashi would disappear for at least 5 years. The latter didn't work so he has to find some other way to break their bond. He has been mailing various institutions and academics for this purpose. He has even posted in some forums but still nothing.
Tadashi sighs. He massaged his temples and thought about Ainosuke's confession. He was happy that Ainosuke told him that he loved him. He loved him too. The truth is, he also wanted to at least try going out with him, but the consequences of that would be far too great. People have told him that he was competent and rather than a beta or an omega he's always mistaken as an alpha. That did not matter. He knows that even for someone who is always seen as competent, going out with Ainosuke would make his master a laughing stock. Ainosuke isn't aware of how many eyes are always looking at him. Some of the families on the list that he was given were hopeful that one of them will be chosen. They already know that their daughter is a candidate. Tadashi sighs again and remembers Yuki. 
Yuki, Ainosuke's ex was supposedly from a rich family but why didn't the madams include his name there? Are they were still adamant about Ainosuke marrying an omega woman? The Shindo household, particularly its members follow strict rules, but every time he is reminded of this, Tadashi just feels anger bubble in his chest.
A white paper that stuck out from the middle of the book pile on his desk catches his attention. He took it. Upon reading the heading, Tadashi thought that he shouldn't forget his bill and call the management about mistakenly sending it to his workplace. 
There were a lot of things to do. He should sleep. Tadashi lays down on the bed and ends up remembering Ainosuke's kisses and his I love yous. Love is a fragile thing, while he believed his isn't, he was sure Ainosuke will be able to move on just fine. It's a bit painful but this was what he chose to do.
Tadashi tries to sleep but he can't. He remembers the charm that Ainosuke gave him and takes it. The charm was newly bought. He didn’t even remember when and how Ainosuke bought it without him knowing. The thought of Ainosuke choosing something like that made him smile. It fills Tadashi’s heart with a certain softness only reserved for Ainosuke. 
The charm’s purpose is to mark the person carrying it that he is already with an alpha. This way, other alphas won’t approach. Those charms are usually given by alphas to their omega partners. To Ainosuke's knowledge, Tadashi was a beta. Is there a possibility that he wasn’t entirely convinced Tadashi is a beta? Tadashi couldn’t help but wonder. He was close to disclosing his gender. Would it be better? Tadashi had no idea. Take and his doctor advised him to tell Ainosuke the truth. Not being able to predict how Ainosuke would react made it difficult for Tadashi to get the courage to tell him the truth. He has lived as a beta all this time. He was sure it would make no difference to others, but since he and Ainosuke are pairs, it was getting harder and harder for him to endure his heats. The only thing that has helped him manage it is medication. 
Tadashi puts the charm on his pillow. He closes his eyes and smells Ainosuke’s scent. This little charm can replace Ainosuke for now. 
----
"Tadashi?"
"It's me bocchan. It's Takahisa."
"Where is Tadashi?"
"He's in his room. Here drink some water. Does your head hurt? I just came by to check on you."
"You don't need to, it's 3 am."
"No worries I went out to drink a glass of water and decided to come here.
"What happened?"
"He said we can't go out.
"He said it'll only ruin my reputation. What will others say? Tadashi said that maybe I'm just stuck in the past."
"Well, you just love him, don't you? Maybe it's not you that is stuck in the past, maybe it's him."
"What do you mean?"
"Everyone changes bocchan. Sweet dreams."
Takahisa went out of the room without clarifying what he meant. Ainosuke was baffled. 
As he pondered about what Takahisa said, Ainosuke noticed that his clothes were changed. He couldn't help but think it was Tadashi who helped him. He knows it would be awkward to meet from now on. However, he will not allow such a thing to stop him. Even though Tadashi rejected him, it didn't mean that he didn't care for him. Maybe if he worked a little harder it would work out. Maybe if he could figure out what Tadashi really thinks about him if his aunts and station in life are not counted, he could start from there. If he loves him too, then he would do everything to make their relationship work. 
Ainosuke remembered that Tadashi had a previous relationship. He wants to know if there was a possibility he was stuck on that person. Maybe he could help him finally let go somehow. 
He fixes his bed and makes his way to Tadashi's room. Usually, Tadashi locks his door when he sleeps alone, but today he must have forgotten it. Ainosuke entered the room. It was lit by the yellow lamplight on Tadashi’s desk. He walked to the desk to turn it off. When was about to turn the switch off, he saw a letter. Curious, he read the address on it, It seems like it was from the management of a condominium. When he read further, it wasn't from Tadashi’s place. So Tadashi has another apartment? That was a shock. He didn’t know Tadashi had such a property. He doesn’t look like someone who’s into that business. Ainosuke took note of the address. 
When he made his way to the bed, he couldn't help but feel a knot in his chest when he saw that Tadashi was holding the charm that he gave him.
----
Morning came. Tadashi was surprised he had a good night's sleep. He smelled the sweet scent of roses and found Ainosuke sleeping beside him. At the sight of Ainosuke’s sleeping face, Tadashi's heart couldn’t help but skip a beat. He didn't think that after his confession Ainosuke would come to him like this. Tadashi rolls in bed and stares at Ainosuke for a few seconds.
Time was up, he sighs, gets up, and goes on about his usual routine. 
That day he had to go check on the venue of Ainosuke's party. He informed Ainosuke about this. Ainosuke only acknowledged it. When Tadashi turned on his heels to go, Ainosuke followed him.
"Let me go with you."
He wanted to say Ainosuke didn't need to but stopped himself. Ainosuke seemed to be looking forward to seeing the place. As long as his master was in a good mood then all is good. After the rejection, he expected him to act cold and even a little bit mean towards him, but Ainosuke behaved just fine as if the rejection didn’t happen. It made Tadashi feel somewhat worried. 
The venue of Ainosuke’s party was a hall that featured a european interior. It fits well with Ainosuke’s love for european aesthetics. Tadashi stole a glance at Ainosuke and saw how impressed he was. Ainosuke loved the classic ambient of the venue and was smiling the whole time. They also checked other parts of the place. The rooms were lovely. His family will be staying at the venue overnight. Tadashi was booked a room but with how things were going, he was sure he will be sleeping in Ainosuke’s room when the time comes. Ainosuke didn’t say anything that was why he was wondering if he should tell Ainosuke that they should sleep separately this time around. Everyone in the mansion except the madams know about their sleeping arrangement. If they thought it was weird, there was no way to tell. No bad rumors spread when usually scandalous things will be whispered in the halls of the mansion. Everyone found it perfectly acceptable that Ainosuke sleeps in Tadashi’s room. Maybe the fact that they were childhood friends and necessarily got along helped in covering the true state of their relationship: more than friends but less than lovers. 
"It's beautiful. My Aunts are really going all out with this." Ainosuke comments enthusiastically. 
"They are. Everyone is excited for this party Ainosuke-sama."
"Are you excited too?"
Ainosuke moves close.
"Yes."
"I wouldn't be able to dance with you at the party." Ainosuke pauses and then adds, "Dance with me?"
He takes Tadashi's hand and kisses it. 
“Well?”
Tadashi smiles a faint smile. Ainossuke puts his hand on Tadashi’s waist and they glide across the room.
"Wow in fairness you're good at this."
"I just know the steps. This is my first time doing this."
When Tadashi said that, he accidentally stepped on Ainosuke's foot.
"Ouch!"
"Sorry!"
Ainosuke took Tadashi's hand and he wrapped his arms around him for a slow dance.
"It's okay.”
Tadashi burrows his head against Ainosuke’s shoulder. They both danced in each other’s arms. A blush was painted over Tadashi’s sensitive ears. The smell of roses fills their lungs. 
"I love you," Ainosuke whispers into Tadashi’s ear. 
“I’ll tell you over and over again until you love me back.”
"Ainosuke-sama… at least meet with them, the people on that list."
"If I feel like it."
"When will that be?"
"If you tell me the person you're involved with before."
Tadashi fell silent.
"I’m curious to know who’s this person who managed to win your heart."
Tadashi was hesitant to say anything but he needs to clarify it wasn't a loving relationship.
"Our relationship is not what you think it is Ainosuke-sama. If possible I don't want to talk about it anymore."
Ainosuke remembered what had happened before and connected the dots.
"I see… I'm sorry."
"Oh please don't apologize! It's my fault for not clarifying earlier."
Both didn’t want their time together to end, but it was time to go back. 
When they were about to enter the car, someone was running towards them at full speed. The person crashed into Tadashi. The force wasn’t strong enough to make Tadashi fall. Instead, the woman tripped. Fortunately, Tadashi caught her in time. Ainosuke who was beside him was shocked. A strong scent filled his nose, making him wrinkle his brows. The woman was emitting strong pheromones. It was just the same as the usual scent he could smell from omegas. He didn't particularly like this scent because when omegas are in heat, their scent is particularly strong. It is always heavy on the lungs, sort of like when you inhale smoke.
"Help." The woman seems delirious. She was panting and sweating hard and mumbling things. 
"Where is your suppressant?"
The woman didn’t respond. Tadashi tried searching for it, but he couldn’t. When it seems that the woman finally collected herself, she responded, 
"It fell. I was running runaway. Someone was chasing me and then my heat started."
They were able to get her brother’s number. He was contacted. Tadashi sat the girl down on a bench a few meters away from the venue. Ainosuke waited in the car while Tadashi tended to the woman.
Pitying the girl who was suffering, Tadashi took out his suppressant and injected it into the girl.
"Do you feel better now?"
As the heat recedes, the woman feels a little bit better. 
"You're an omega?"
Tadashi nodded.
“My boss contacted your brother already. What happened?”
“I don’t know. It’s broad daylight but I felt someone was following me so I run away.” 
Tadashi saw red spots on the woman’s hand. When the woman noticed that Tadashi was staring at her hand, she covered it. 
"Thank you very much. Sorry for the trouble.”
“Your drinking too many heat suppressants. Are you perhaps…”
“Heats are hard for paired omegas whose partners have abandoned them. Unfortunately, I am one of them. My partner has successfully cut off her bond with me, but unfortunately, on my end, I’m still bound to her. Cruel isn’t it? Not only that, but I think she also sent that person who’s following me.
“My family told me not to pair up, but I loved her so much that I agreed. I didn’t think it would end this way.
“You have faint ones too. Are you the same as me? Before long, we will be left with nothing but a barren womb and a failing heart. So much for choosing love right?”
It was the first time Tadashi felt he could relate to someone. Living as a beta did not allow him to have encounters like this. This is the first time he told his gender to another human being apart from his family and Take.  
From the car, Ainosuke called for Tadashi. Tadashi’s conversation with the woman got interrupted. Ainosuke asked him to buy some drinks and snacks for the three of them while they wait for the brother to arrive. When Tadashi went, Ainosuke went to speak to the woman.
She was bashful. 
"Thank you very much, sir!"
"I saw him inject you with something…"
"Ah that, he gave his suppressant. I’m grateful."
Suppressant? Ainosuke found it odd. How did Tadashi get a hold of an omega’s suppressant? Curious, Ainosuke pressed on, “What did he say to you?”
The woman stared at Ainosuke. 
“Are the two of you,” The woman continued, paused, and then smiled.
When he was going to ask again, Tadashi came running back.
After a short while, the girl's brother arrived. They thanked Ainosuke and Tadashi profusely.
While Tadashi finished his tasks for the day, Ainosuke couldn't help but think about what the girl said. Tadashi shouldn't have suppressants. Sure, it was not Ainosuke's because an alpha suppressant has different components from that of an omegas. Things were getting more and more suspicious.
That day Ainosuke finally decides to the reports he has been postponing on reading. He wasn't expecting the things he will soon find out. 
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darkdevasofdestruction · 4 years ago
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A Zhang Of Redness ~ Yin Zhen x Reader
Warning: The first part has some angst to fluff, yet, if you’re brave enough to read the “Sad Ending”, then I warn you, I cried at least 6 times reading it, and 5 times at night, thinking about how to write it properly, all while listening to sad flute and zither ancient Chinese songs. I may need help.
Also, I forgot to explain, in case people don’t know:
Meimei - Term for younger sister. Jiejie - Term for older sister. Niangniang - Term for someone above in title, like an Empress or a Noble Consort. Changzai -  First-Class Female Attendant, called ‘Present’, and was the 2nd lowest title in the harem. Daying -  Second-Class Female Attendant, called ‘Promise’, lowest title in the harem. Hua Fei - It can vary as a title, but it refers to an Imperial Noble Consort. A Zhang of Redness - One of the 5 punishments from Qing Dynasty : Beating someone over the back, butt or the back of their legs with a some sort of bamboo or wooden bat/cane/rod until the tendons/muscles/bones were crushed, there was lots of blood, and the person either died or became paralysed from waist down.
Also, I got inspiration from watching the Chinese Period Drama ‘Empresses in the Palace/Legend of Zhen Huan’ that focuses on the Harem during the reign of Emperor Yongzheng, aka Yin Zhen, the 4th Prince, and Duke Guo is the 17th Prince, his brother, very young, and very close to him
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“Now, Y/N, you and your sisters are of age, so you must go serve the Emperor. It will bring our family the greatest honour should you be selected as a concubine for the Emperor and bring a Prince into this world.” the father put his hands on Y/N’s shoulders, making her look at him with a blank expression, masking her disdain and disgust with excellence. “We are honoured to serve and serve our family and His Majesty, the Emperor.” she bowed gracefully, speaking with an adult maturity that many would envy. “Very well. Take care of your sisters. The Palace is a cruel place, but you, above all, must prevail and bring your sisters up with you.” were the last words her father spoke before sending off his three daughters into the carriage, ready to go with the ‘reaping’, as the eldest would call it.
Unlike her younger siblings, she prayed not to be accepted, since it would be the worst thing that could happen to her and she’d rather die than have to live in eternal imprisonment, having an old man touch her body and impregnate her, despite him being the Emperor himself.
When the three of them arrived at the Palace, and she saw the swarm of girls dressed the same, with the same accessories and hairstyles, she almost felt like puking, although she couldn’t blame them, since that’s how this lame fashion dictates.
She was the only one standing out, much like a sore thumb, completely different, both in appearance and clothing, which made her anxious and nervous, knowing very well how she will be the target of bullying, and in turn, deflect it to her unfortunate sisters as well.
Y/N was the only woman with vibrant red hair and green eyes like the evergreen forest, for her father is an Imperial merchant, and her mother was a foreigner, the most beautiful being alive, that could even compare to the Gods, and yet, the very same Gods she worshipped were cruel to her, as when she gave birth to the twins, she perished, leaving her husband heartbroken and alone to take care of his three daughters.
She didn’t wear any headpiece, nor had any intricate hairstyles, preferring to keep the upper part of her hair in a beautiful rose bun, while the lower part was let loose to cascade past her shoulders, down to her waist, like a fire waterfall. She didn’t use heavy make up, only choosing to highlight her eyes and bring out the shrewdness and brilliance in them. She didn’t wear any jewellery, save for some beautiful pink flowers carefully placed in her hair. She didn’t wear heels, for she was taller than most petite girls, and didn’t want to stand out more than she already did, and of course, she didn’t need them to highlight her grace and dignity. And, most of all, she didn’t wear the traditional clothes that every girl did, instead, worse a long, flowy dress, green, with flowers of a darker, more vibrant green - A dress that suit her like she was the embodiment of Spring, and her slender silhouette was shown off beautifully - Because, after all, this was the dress her mother sew specifically for her in the period while she was pregnant.
When the time finally came for her to present herself in front of the Emperor and the Empress Dowager, the six women walked in a straight line, in front of the Imperials...Only to see a little surprise.
Seven of his sons were there to attend, for one of them were to one day become Emperor, and they must know how things must be done.
“You...You are Y/N, I see. When your father mentioned you were beautiful, just like your mother, I couldn’t believe there could be someone even greater than Diaochan or Yang Guifei.” the Emperor chuckled, looking down at her. “Your Majesty, pardon my rudeness, yet truly, you must jest. My face does not put flowers to shame, nor does it embarrass Mother Moon herself. Likewise, I would say I that...That there are other women in history that would fit me better, should you truly wish to compare me.” she could feel the intrigued, burning gazes of everyone, and it took everything she had not to visibly gulp or show any kind of emotion. “Raise, child, and look at me. Who would you think I should compare you to?” the Emperor so gracefully talked, with the same dignity that any Imperial must have, yet now, it seemed to be warmer. “Tan Yunxian.” she spoke bluntly, her green eyes not wavering as she held eye contact with the Emperor. “Tan Yunxian...You are a bold one to speak like that. You are a sharp woman, intelligence is obviously sparkling in your eyes, you know what you want from life, and you choose to be branded a witch by practicing the medical arts that only men do and risk death, instead of aiming for a peaceful and resourceful life as a wealthy concubine and bring honour to your father. Why is that?” he asked once again, which made her bow, but not look away from him. “Most people tell the gender of a rabbit by its movement: The male runs quickly, while the female often keeps her eyes shut. But when the two rabbits run side by side, Can you really discern whether I am a he or a she? That is my reply to your question, and I would beg you to forgive my rudeness by speaking so directly, but this was never the life that fit me. The only arts that suit me are the exact ones - Healing, Calculus, Atrology, Physics, Alchemy...My sisters are much better at the arts of the heart, but I prefer to make a difference on this world. Too many women preferred to let themselves die because of scrutiny - A woman should rather starve to death than lose her chastity - they said, yet, for me, life is a sacred gift and should be treasured above all. There are no female physicians in the palace, Your Majesty, and males cannot fully comprehend the pains of a woman, nor can they properly treat one. With your grace, should you choose not to kill me, I would very much like to serve the Emperor with the way fate dictated my strengths.” she spoke without any hint of fear in her heart, already waiting for her death penalty to be told, and yet, the Emperor chuckled and looked to his right, sharing a look with one of his sons, the one dressed in vibrant gold, the one whose eyes resembled his the most. “My son, I see you are interested in this one as well. Tell me, what would you do, should you meet someone as peculiar as this one?” the Emperor asked, letting him have the final say in it. “She quotes the Ballad of Mulan so boldly, as if she herself is Mulan. Do you remember, Father, that in some stories, when Mulan was forced to join the Harem, she chose to commit suicide? I see this one none the wiser. With the proper training, she could prove to save more lives than most of those useless physicians could, I would say. She has enough fire and ambition...But What if she wavers in front of dangers?” the 4th Prince asked, almost rhetorically, only for his older brother, the 3rd Prince, to chime in. “Let’s see, then.” he shrugged, motioning for an eunuch to step forward. “Should you be able to keep looking into my eyes for the whole trial, your position as a physician will be locked.” the 4th Prince mused, his dark eyes peering into her jade like ones, and it seemed almost as if they were in a trance, and nothing around them existed anymore.
The little eunuch threw water at her feet, yet she nonchalantly stepped over it with no second thought. They made loud noises behind her, or close to her ear, yet her only interest was the beautiful dark shade of the Prince’s eyes. The test continued on, until the Prince walked forward and drew his sword, putting the tip under her chin, raising it. The silence created tension for everyone, causing her sisters to gasp and hold tightly onto each other from fear, while some labourers were confused and panicked at the sight before them, while the two only got deeper and deeper enchanted by the other. It wasn’t until one of the Gugu matrons stepped forwards with a cat held in her arms and threw it at the ground violently that the girl slapped the blade away and let herself fall to her knees to catch the poor feline, then rose back again, gently petting and calming the animal, while throwing a harsh glare at the elder woman, before turning back again to the Prince.
“You lost the trial.” he said, yet mischief was glittering in his beautiful eyes. “Life over all. ALL life over all.” she pointed out, stepping closer to the Prince, and as soon as she knew she was completely hidden by his much larger form, she smirked at him, challengingly, which made him scoff in amusement right back at her. “You lost the trial, but won the position with your virtuous, unwavering heart. Father, with your approval, I will be responsible of her, and she will be my personal physician, and the physician of all the women in the palace. Her thinking is mature, righteous and ahead of her times.” the Prince bowed in front of his father, vouching for the girl next to him, who could only look in shock at the Imperial Son who seemed to trust her so. “I dare not deserve such baseless praise. Wait until I have achieved anything of significance.” she bowed next to the Prince, letting the cat go back to its owner. “Very well, I approve of your request. From now on, Lady Y/N shall be promoted to Lady Shuyu, the Wise and Virtuous Lady, she will be taught by the imperial physicians and will report directly to you, 4th Prince. Likewise, she will be staying at the Palace closest to the Imperial Library, yet, I believe I should change its name, since it needs renovation. Do you have any preferences?” the Emperor asked, as the girl was bashfully looking at the ground, not believing that her dreams were finally becoming reality. “Father, if I may, I would suggest - Palace of the Blue Lotus - for it is the symbol of victory, intelligence, wisdom and knowledge, something that My Lady seems to be the embodiment of. I heard it once being called - The Perfection of Wisdom - and I believe it fits her very well. Look at her, with her outfit and hair, she almost looks like a Lotus flower herself, wouldn’t you say?” the 3rd Prince commented, making the Emperor nod in approval. “Very well, I agree with you, 3rd Prince. Then, Lady Y/N, until your Palace is completely renovated, you will be staying at 4th Prince’s Palace and have him look after you.” the Emperor’s order made her eyes widen and cheeks redden from embarrassment, yet she gracefully bowed in thanks for the Emperor. “Your Majesty is benevolent and kind above all, I thank you for giving me a chance.” she spoke in a much softer voice. “Look at this one, she can be anything she wants. A Hua Mulan, a Diaochan...Yet, above all, I believe she could even be the next Wu Zetian, wouldn’t you say, my Son?” the Empress Dowager spoke with a gentle smile, which made the girl gasp and bow to the ground, flustered. “Your Highness, I am undeserving of such praise! I am but a mere woman who wishes the best for her peers, but I will never be able to get close to Wu Zetian’s greatness!” she spoke rapidly, not daring raise her face to them, only to receive chuckles and laughs from the audience. “She may not be the next Wu Zetian, but she may as well be the first Y/N L/N.” the 4th Prince teased the girl as he offered his hand to help her to her feet, before pinching her reddening cheek. “Indeed, indeed! But what should I make of your sisters? You say they are talented in arts, correct? Then, I will accept them, and wait for the time they can heal my soul with their magic and grace.” the Emperor’s eyes held amusement, as all three sisters bowed in unison. “Your Majesty is great and kind above all.” 
And so, for the first time in their life, the sisters were separated from each other. While the twins enjoyed a palace to themselves and another high ranked concubine, Y/N was comfortably staying in 4th Prince’s Palace, having just one trusty maid, for more would be a hindrance, and dressing in whatever comfortable clothes she wished to wear, sown by her and her maid.
She wasn’t a fan of sewing, but she practiced it regularly because she believed having dexterous fingers meant you would be a great physician, so she continued her work, using the softest cotton bolts brought from Western countries, and she made a beautiful light pink nightgown along with a pair of shorts and embroidered small purple flowers, and since then, her sleep has been the best she’s ever had... Although the silks from her bed must have added to the comfort as well.
As thanks for the Prince, the girl decided to sew a blue pyjama from the cotton, Western bolts for the Prince with whom she was residing, and used Chinese threads of gold and violet to embroider dragons on it, wanting to make a little play on the Western symbols of royalty.
Days passed way too quickly in the Palace, as the 4th Prince was excellent company and would humour her often with a cup of tea and a lost game of chess since truly, he wasn’t the best at it yet, but the quick exchanges of wit were worth the time spent there.
When she wasn’t by his side, she would go to the swing in the Garden of Peaches all by herself and swing herself high, almost as if she was trying to reach the sky, and when returning, she would let herself lean down, to watch the clouds, all while laughing in complete freedom, just like the tale of the Crane Wife.
Every time she would stop swinging, she would take out her jade flute and, unbeknownst to her, the Prince would hide just to hear her play with such skill and emotion that it truly moved him, and he had to admit, the saddest song she played, Autumn Moon over Han Palace, the one that truly depicts the cruelty with which the young and innocent souls of young women get crushed in the palace, only to be rewarded with misfortunes and sorrow, and he knew then that there was no way he would let anyone harm her.
The Emperor made him look after her, and so, he will.
“4th Prince, now that I shall not be living in your Palace anymore, I should thank you for your hospitability and kindness for the time I bothered you and invaded your privacy. Please accept my humble gifts for you, as a thank you for all the goodness you’ve showed me.” she personally handed him the boxes of gifts, since it was too personal to let her maid handle this matter. “I thank you for the gifts, yet you need not thank me for something so trivial. Congratulations in moving in your own Palace, little Lotus, but don’t forget that this has been your home too, and you are always welcomed here. I have also sent you gifts at your new residence, I wish you will use them with a smile on your face.” the prince spoke, putting the boxes on the table and petting her hair gently. “Without all the snark and witty comments, I almost don’t recognise you, Yin Zhen. Could you perhaps be ill?” she scoffed in amusement, making the man flick her forehead. “Going by how red your cheeks are, I’d say you’re the one who caught a fever.” he spoke with an obvious undertone. “How rude of you, Prince! Don’t you know it’s unfair to tease a lady?” she pointed out with a flustered scowl on her face. “Sister, weren’t you the one who once that that if a man teases a woman, he must be in love with her?” a soft, yet playful voice came from behind Y/N, which made her yelp in surprise and turn around in shock. “You’re horrible sisters, you know that, don’t you? I only said that so you’d feel good about your little, young selves, when the general’s son came over to visit father!” she sighed, looking away. “He doesn’t matter anymore! Now, look at you, the most favoured woman in the Palace by the Emperor, the Empress, the Dowager AND the Princes! We couldn’t compete with that, even now that we both served the Emperor and we were barely given the title of “Changzai”, and that’s mostly thanks to your influence and the fact that you helped the Lady of Morality give birth to the Princess.” Liyan spoke out, tugging on one of the arms of the elder sister. “It’s a bit weird if you think about it. Y/N Jiejie is over here, falling for the Emperor’s son, while we are pillow mates with the Emperor. He’s older than father!” Xiyan spoke so shamelessly, tugging on the other arm, that it made the poor elder sister blush deeply, and putting her hands on the back of their heads, she hit their heads together. “Liyan Meimei and Xiyan Meimei should learn how to be less vulgar and have some shame! Now, if you would excuse me, I must go do a regular check up on the Noble Consort’s pregnancy, I have no time for your foolish nonsense. I bid you all farewell.” she gave a sarcastic bow to the three before rushing out of that place. “I haven’t seen Jiejie so flustered before. Remember when that young poet came over and started playing the zither and singing for her, and she still turned him down?” Xiyan giggled, intertwining her fingers with her twin. “Yes, I remember! And it was the famous JiKang, the best zither player in the country! It’s a pity, really, I remember Jiejie saying how much she’d have liked to be free and travel the world, but she has to honour her duty to her family, otherwise she will be a disgrace and get killed.” Liyan sighed, looking away. “If your sister heard you gossiping like that about her, she’d get very upset at you. Now run along, you two.” Yin Zhen commented with a hint of playfulness, ushering the two sisters to scatter.
Days and nights went by fast, and Y/N was quickly climbing the ranks of a physician due to her hard working and witty disposition, and yet, when winter came and snow started falling hard, and the Consort was now 5 months pregnant, and need to have her regular check up.  As Y/N gave her the medicine to drink, the consort started screaming in pain and collapsed on the bed, her nether regions bleeding. She was having a miscarriage. With the help of a few maids and physicians, she managed to stop the bleeding and keep her stable, but she knew very well it would be hell once everyone finds out about the loss of the Imperial offspring...
And the consort was a truly vengeful one.
“How could you...?! How could you?! You insolent wretch, you made me lose my child!” the consort was livid, thrown things at the girl who was trying to calm her down. “Hua Fei Niangniang, what have you been eating and drinking recently? Perhaps there may have been something put in your food or tea? Or perhaps the fragrances or incenses?” she tried to ask, but it was to no avail. The consort was so upset that the Emperor himself, along with the Empress, the Dowager, the Harem and the Princes had to come and console her. “Emperor! Emperor! This stupid bitch is jealous that you favour me and made sure I have a miscarriage! It happened just as I drank the medicine from her!” the consort threw herself in the Emperor’s arms, sobbing loudly. “Medicine takes at least half a day to act, and you barely took a sip from it. I’m asking again, has your food and drink intake been properly taken care of?” Y/N asked once again, in a gentle voice, hoping to have an answer...But none came, only screeches. “You vile devil! You came here to have all women of the Harem miscarry! You want favour all to yourself! That’s why you walk around the Princes like a fox, drawing them in! You’re a lust demon! Get the guards and take her! Make her punishment be fitting to her hair! A Zhang of Redness!” she shrieked, making all the women gasp in shock. “Your Highness, I have nothing to do with Niangniang’s miscarriage. You can have any physician look over the tea I prepared and all the prescriptions I gave her, and none of them hold any abortifacient plants. I rest my case, and I will investigate the causes of the miscarriage, and should it have been my mistake, I will accept such a punishment. If not, then I beg for Your Majesty’s mercy.” Y/N bowed deeply to the ground in front of the Emperor, who seemed to nod in understanding. “Very well. I won’t offer you much time, but until then, you have all resources at hand. Everyone is dismissed.” and thus, they all left...Except for the 4th Prince who crouched and helped the girl up, his expression unreadable. “You truly know how to get yourself in trouble, don’t you?” he spoke with obvious concern. “Though I withdraw my sword to cut the water, it still runs. I toast to dispel worry, and create more worry…The water still flows, though we cut it with our swords, And sorrow returns, though we drown it with wine…” she muttered, looking ahead of her, in the void of emptiness that became her heart. “You once said you were not talented in arts, yet here you are, quoting Li Bai. You will always be a surprise, won’t you?” Yin Zhen cast her a half smile, which she returned. “It only fits. Now go. The Emperor will have my head should I let a man rummage through a woman’s belongings.” she sighed, turning around to investigate the place, while hearing the taunts of the consort...Until she found a cup that oddly smelled like green papaya, and a mortar and pestle that still had some cinnamon and pomegranate seeds powder in it. Afraid that the consort would realise she found the incriminatory objects, she took out a bag and threw it on the table, feigning that she putting all her medical belongings back in the bag, only to have the cup and mortar taken as well, and with a bow, she hurried to her Palace to study them.
She didn’t know much about such plants since they weren’t exactly used in medicine, and yet, she had to study them, while hiding the bag with incriminatory objects very well.
It was a cold, yet beautiful snowy night, and Y/N felt so crushed by fear from the recent events, that without realising, stepped outside, her feet dragging her to Yin Zhen’s Palace, and she had no idea until his Eunuch spoke to her, welcoming her inside and scolding her for not wearing something warmer, before having the maids prepare tea and telling the Prince about her arrival.
Silence took over them as they played chess and drinking tea, yet her mind was somewhere else completely, making her lose for the first time...But he wasn’t surprised in the least.
“What did you find out?” he asked bluntly. “Do you hate me, Yin Zhen?” she asked, using one of her silver ring claws to stir the tea in her cup. “Why would you ask something like that...? Do you suspect me of framing you, or what?” he asked, shock obvious in his voice, until he realised the tears that were falling down her face. “Then...Why...? I...I thought you...Of all people...Wouldn’t...” Y/N was unable of cursive, coherent words as she raised her finger to eye level, showing that the silver claw became back. “I did NOT poison your tea! Shu Pei Gong, who prepared this tea? I want them brought here and held responsible right now!” the rage the Prince felt was immense, but he knew now to let feelings overtake his ration. “What did I do to deserve such hatred...? I’m not part of the harem, I never hurt anyone, I’ve always been respectful and helped everyone, I never wished for promotions, titles, ranks or favours...So why...Why...?! Why is this happening to me?!” she cried out, her heart suffering greatly, enough so that before he could say anything, she ran out again, taking a shortcut through the Plum garden, where she let herself fall to the ground, the freezing cold unbothering to her, as she felt as cold as ice from the constant heartache she suffered.
She hated the colour red, it was everywhere, yet people didn’t understand why she’d despise such a beautiful colour. It was the colour of her hair, the colour of Maple leaves, the colour of Plum blossoms, and of course, the colour of blood.
Blood, for that’s all she was seeing - Laying there, on the pure white snow, crystals falling from the sky, covering her in a soft blanket, the shade of her skin, contrasting her hair, her flowers and...The blood from her injury.
But as the dark abyss of death started taking over her senses, she saw two little jades that appeared and disappeared just like shy will’o’wisp spirit orbs.
What was in her head, running away like that, in the dead of such a freezing night, and why the Plum Garden that is like a crimson maze that could have served as her resting place.
Who would have known she would be so sensitive, Yin Zhen thought, and yet, he is her confidante, and she thought he poisoned her, which would be a shock for everyone, especially after everything going on in her life.
She looked so petite in his large bed, in his own pyjamas, as her own clothes were soaked from the snow and she’s already shivering, the last thing he’d want is for her to get deadly ill.
“Your Majesty, a blow to the back of her head with a blunt object cause her collapse and fainting, but the coldness worsened her health. She will need to rest and take medicine regularly. And...As much as possible, she must not stress, mentally, emotionally or physically.” the physician bowed to the Prince as he sat on the edge of the bed, gingerly brushing away the hair from her face. “Easier said than done when you’re dealing with such a stubborn hard-head...You may go now. I will look after her.” the Prince dismissed the physician who kowtow-ed and left the place that got quiet...So quiet...Save for her unconscious shivering. “What will I do with you, Y/N? How can I save you when you run away from me?” he muttered, placing a soft kiss on her forehead. “You should have left me there.” a soft whisper was her, as the girl opened her glistering eyes. “Don’t speak such nonsense.” he scolded her, yet his eyes were gentle. “What is death if not a blessing in disguise? For unfortunate people like me, only followed by misfortune...What is there to live for? Instead of investigating her case, I should have let her punish me. It would have been less painful than my discovery.” her voice was devoid of any life, yet the tears that delicately made their ways down her cheeks were enough proof of sorrow and heart break. “What are you talking about, Y/N? What did you discover?” he asked, his attention not wavering from her. “Wu Zetian? Diaochan? Hua Mulan? Tan Yunxian? Yang Guifei? What the hell was in my head? The only thing I could share with them is a broken heart. Why did I even dare to think that I, as a woman, would have any chance to achieve happiness and freedom? I can’t even try to be Lin Siniang, for I have no martial arts, and I can’t go and die in battle for someone. I’m completely and utterly useless.” the girl sighed, turning her back to the Prince, letting her hair drape over her face to avoid being seen. “Y/N, I am your confidante, tell me what happened. When you feel like you can’t trust anyone, not even your family, or the world, I will be here to listen and be honest with you, no matter what. I promise.” he wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a tight embrace, stroking her hair to calm her down, yet in only generated in her sobbing. “When I was struck and fell, I feigned being dead. I kept my eyes half-open, and I didn’t blink. I stopped breathing and looked up at the sky. And despite my blurring vision, I saw a pair of green orbs. And then, I heard a giggle, and a word. Just one word. You know what it was? They said - Finally - and then left. Do you understand what I mean, Yin Zhen?” she asked, letting go of him and looking him straight in the eyes. “You don’t mean...?” his eyes widened with surprise, not having expected something like that. “When I investigated the consort’s room, I found a cup that smelled of papaya and a mortar with cinnamon and pomegranate seeds. When she wasn’t looking, I stole them and went home to read more about these. My sisters visited me that night and we discussed about those items...And it was then that I found out that those plants cause natural, spontaneous abortions. They said they were worried about me...And then...They snitched on me to the consort. My maid warned me there were suspicious people lurking around so I secretly left my Palace and came to yours after taking the longest and darkest route. Somehow, they managed to make me paranoid enough by poisoning my tea in your own house...And I got scared and ran away. I was going to seek refuge at the Dowager, until the consort’s eunuch found me and yanked me over the head. That’s when I saw my sister’s eyes...The very same eyes that I hold...And most likely, they stole the items from my Palace and disposed of them...So what is there to live for, anyway?” she sighed, resting her head on his shoulder, weeping silently. “You have me and I will help you out. I won’t let anyone punish you, I promise you that.” he cupped her face, making her look at him with her sad, doe-like eyes. “Even if I escape punishment, who can mend my shattered heart? My father never supported my passions, so I did everything in secret...And my own sisters plotted and went against me, for some reason that I’m completely unaware of, considering I always took care of them, sent them any riches I had and got them out of trouble...And there’s no way I will ever escape the hell from the harem wrath, even if I’m not part of it. I am lost with no place to call home and nobody to love me. I should just go end myself with some wine, out in the Plum Garden. It would be a very fitting end with no pain. Very beautiful...Maybe some music would have made it perfect - “ she kept talking in self-deprecation, not realising how it upset the man in front of her, until he stopped her by kissing her with enough fire to begin the melting process over the frozen pieces of her heart, “Stop speaking like that, you are upsetting me. How can I marry you and spend the rest of my life with you by my side, if you let the world get to you and kill you?” he was scolding her in a gentle manner, his hand on top of her head, putting his forehead to hers. “How can I not, when my own sisters, that I raised and took care of since mother died, plotted my death and were happy to see me fall? My own family, Yin Zhen! How can I bare with that?!” her voice was full of emotions of all kinds, desperate to have someone to cling on. “Those who wish ill on you are not your family, even though you are bound by blood. You have me, Y/N. I vow to you, I would never leave you alone. I will always be there for you, no matter what, and I will never let anyone hurt you again.” the man said, making the girl sigh and shake her head. “What are you trying to say, Yin Zhen? There’s only so long until you’ll become the Emperor. Even if you want to, you won’t have the time to even remember I exist. And you will be busy with all your concubines every night. Don’t vow what cannot happen, or you will anger the Gods. Be realistic. You know how I am. I refuse to bare children, I refuse to deal with the harem. I will get jealous, and in the end, you will end up hurting me more than my own family did.” she hung her head, wiping away the stray tears. “When I become Emperor, I will be able to do anything I want to. It’s true, I will need heirs, but that’s what the harem is about, but that doesn’t mean I won’t hold you in my arms every night. You will be Empress, and you will help me with matters of the Palace. If the Consort can deal with the harem now, she can do so when I reign as well. Not to mention, the current Empress favours you, she will be kind with you once she becomes Dowager.” he explained reassuringly, which made her look up at him slowly. “Do you vow you always love me the most and have me and only me as your priority? And you will listen to me when I talk. And we will still hang out at midnight in the Cherry Garden, we will still go swimming, or swinging in the Peach Garden, we will still play the Zither and Flute together and you will still compliment me over the littlest things, no matter what?” Y/N spoke a bit more harshly, to get her point across, which only made the man chuckle. “I vow that I will still be your Confidante, and you will be mine, and things between us won’t change even when I become Emperor. Who else could sew me such comfortable pyjamas and then wear them much better than I do?” he pinched her cheek before kissing her forehead tenderly. “That’s because I have style. Now...Tell me, what should I do?” and her reply came in the form of a scoff of amusement as the Prince pulled her to his chest, making her sit on his lap. “Sometimes I wish you were more ruthless, little fox. But it’s fine, I will be ruthless enough for the both of us. Just trust me, and tomorrow, we’ll go together and prove your innocence once and for all.” he declared in a voice fit for an Emperor, before putting one hand on the back of her neck, while the other was on her waist, and pulling her flush against his chest, he kissed her, gently at first, to make sure she wouldn’t shatter in front of him like a precious china doll, only to gradually become more and more passionate.
And once again, just like when they first met, they locked tender gazes and got lost in their own paradise - You are mine and you can only be mine - He’d think, just for a split second, as he continued kissing and touching her skin, softer than any cloud.
The next day marked the beginning of his vow, as she woke up with his arms draped around her small form and him stroking her hair gently, before they got dressed properly and went to her palace, the Blue Lotus, only to find her maid freaking out and checking her for any injuries.
When they explained to her what happened, Shi Lian grinned and ran to fetch a bag that she buried in a secret place under the snow, revealing the incriminatory objects that she risked so much for. The maid then pointed out that some eunuchs came over and tried to search the place, with the help of one of her sisters, only to find nothing and return fearfully to the noble consort, their mission failed.
Wait until they see she isn’t dead, really.
And so, Yin Zhen baited the sisters into going to the consort’s house, and told the Emperor to wait outside of the door and listen, only interfering if and when he sees fit.
“4th Prince, what ever could be the reason for summoning us like that?” the consort asked with a feign-innocent smirk o her face. “I believe it’s high time to finish investigating a crime, correct, consort? The mystery behind your miscarriage?” Yin Zhen’s eyes were sharp, yet victorious. “Ahh, yes, but wasn’t it confirmed to be that woman physician’s negligence?” she preferred to fake admiring her hand jewellery, instead of looking at the prince. “That is quite the narrative you painted, isn’t it? Painted with her blood, and the blood of my father’s offspring. Clearly, there is no shameful level of low-ness that you wouldn’t stoop to, just to gain my father’s attention and favour, isn’t it? Even going as far as to frame the only physician who would properly be able to heal you and the women of the Palace. She fought hard to convince my Imperial Father, the Emperor, to allow her to be a medicine practitioner, with you in her mind, not her own well-being. You must truly be cruel and desperate to want to get the Emperor’s favour that badly, again. You must know you’re getting old and ugly, and you won’t be my Father’s favourite anymore...And his favourites will be the newer concubines...Like Y/N’s sisters, who have unique, green eyes, unlike all the other women here.” the Prince hit the nail spot on, making the consort look at him with fear and indignation. “U-Uhm, Prince, I know you favoured Y/N Jiejie, but why are you dragging us into this?” Liyan asked cautiously. “Because the consort came to you with an alliance - If you get rid of Y/N, you won’t bully the sisters for being young and favoured. However, the sisters were jealous of Y/N of having favour from everyone without having to conform to the norms every woman has to, for she is not a concubine, therefore, she had nothing to fight for except your lives. To think that her own sisters that she took care of would plot her own demise without a single speck of regret. You caught her when she was most vulnerable, alone, in the Plum Garden, then had some eunuch strike her over the head with a wooden bat. Truly horrific to think family would behave like this.” the Prince played the detective part, explaining the story he heard from the girl herself. “What gives you the right to accuse us of such treacheries?! We would never hurt Jiejie!” Xiyan growled at the man, only for a surprise to happen, as the woman in cause entered the scene dramatically. “Wouldn’t you?” Y/N asked in a low voice, earning gasps of shock from the 3 other women. “J-Jiejie! You’re alright! You’re alive!” Xiyan’s lips quivered, as her eyes were darting between her sister and the consort. “Why wouldn’t I be alive, Xiyan Meimei? Was something supposed to happen that would guarantee my imminent death?” Y/N tilted her head slightly to the side, staring deep into her sister’s eyes, searching for the truth. “N-No, of course not! Why ever would you claim something so cruel?” Xiyan chuckled nervously, walking a few feet backwards. “All my life I thought myself the family disappointment since I never was the perfect woman that father wanted me to be, to bring honour to the family...But I know for sure that I never raised a liar or a traitor. You are a disappointment. To think you’d partner up with the consort to kill me, and then, when I talked to you about the evidence I found in her palace, you’d try to kill me and steal the objects. My maid is my family more than you ever were.” Y/N shook her head in disappointment, taking out the bag, which made the three women widen their eyes in horror, knowing very well what was going to happen. “Look at them, they are already pissing themselves with fear. They know what is in them.” Yin Zhen scoffed at them. “This is the consort’s cup, from which she drank Green Papaya juice...And this is a mortar in which cinnamon and pomegranate seeds were crushed into a powder. All of these are known to naturally induce abortions, so it’s no wonder she had a miscarriage when I gave her the medicine. You wanted the attention and to kill me, so what better way to do so than to frame me, punish me yourself, and have the Emperor hate me and potentially kill me? A Zhang of Redness, you said. How cruel of you, Consort.” Y/N taunted her once again, showing the evidence, putting them on the table. “You’re insane! This is a conspiracy! You have 4th Prince’s and you got him to conspire against me! You’re the worst!” the Consort shrieked at the girl, almost getting physically aggressive, until the Emperor himself stepped in the room. “That’s enough! How shameless can you be? I understand being jealous of the women of the harem, but of someone who is here only to save your lives? Impertinent!” the Emperor’s booming voice resounded throughout the room, drowning out the consort’s whinings for a little while. “Y/N, you have been the wronged one here, I will let their punishment be of your choosing, no matter how harsh. I will take my leave now, I cannot stand to look at these wretches anymore.” and so, he left the place, letting the consort grovel on the ground, helplessly, shrieking in the worst high-pitched voice. “All’s well when it ends well, I’d say.” Y/N muttered, looking at her two little sisters. “What do you two have to say in your defense?” “We are sorry, Y/N Jiejie, we were wrong! Please, forgive us!” the twins jumped on her, hugging her tightly, stunning the poor girl. “How cruel. You know she’s soft hearted so you try to play her again. You are shameless leeches.” Yin Zhen spoke out, seeing the conflict in his lover’s eyes...Only for her to gasp suddenly and widen her eyes in shock. “Finally...Huh? You’re truly the worst...Yin Zhen told me to be more ruthless...Perhaps I should begin now.” with a pained expression on her face, she pushed the sisters away from her, revealing the bleeding stab wound from her abdomen. “How many more times are you going to try to kill me? As many times needed until you finally succeed...But you think a tiny blade like this will do the trick? If poison, a bat to the head and the freezing cold didn’t kill me, this is nothing more than a mosquito’s bite for me.” Y/N looked at Liyan with disgust as she snatches away the dagger by the blade, throwing it away.  “Y/N...!” Yin Zhen looked in horror at the wound that kept bleeding and bleeding, staining the green material of her beautiful dress. “This all began when you wanted to punish me with A Zhang of Redness. My hair is red. The Plum blossoms are red. My spilled blood was red as well. Now, it’s your turn. All three of you, I punish you with a Zhang of Redness, and should you live, I will take away all your titles and riches. Hopefully, you will see what I felt when I realised that death would be a blessing, rather than living. Enjoy your lives as paralysed traitors, you three.” despite the single tear straying down her face, Y/N’s eyes were cold and merciless, at least just for then, as hearing her little sisters scream, sob and plea for her to have mercy on them and forgive them was something that unavoidably crushed her, but there was nothing she could do about it anymore. “Every day with you is like watching a dramatic tragedy at the opera.” the prince sighed, picking her up carefully and bringing her to his palace, so the physicians would tend to her wound. “Isn’t my life a tragedy enough as it is, without you having to remind me?” she scoffed, turning away from him. “It won’t be anymore, my dear. I promise you.” and with that, Yin Zhen embraced Y/N once again, taking away all her sorrows, at least for the night, and many more other nights.
~~~ I also have a Sad Ending, read at your own risk. If I were you, I wouldn’t read it, but we all know how some need angst to live ~~~
But years passed faster than the blink of an eye, and as the norm asked for, problems still surrounded everyone in the Palace, since it wouldn’t be the Imperial Court otherwise.
It was needless to say was still mourning not having her sisters around anymore, as one of them died, while the other remained paralysed in the Cold Palace, and as soon as her father came by to sell his Western products and found out the fate of his children, he blamed Y/N for being heartless and bringing dishonor to their family by being the complete opposite of what a woman should be.
And so...They weren’t so young anymore, but double the age from when they met, and Yin Zhen now became Emperor Yongzheng, and Y/N was his Empress, just as promised.
At first, he was loyal to his vow - No matter who he’d be forced to visit for the night, he’d still return to her and hold her in his arms until the light of morning creeped through the windows, waking them up, but time is a feeble enemy, and words are easily forgotten.
Daily, became Weekly, just like Weekly, became Monthly.
He would barely come by to visit, let alone spend the night with her, and meals together were as scarce as trustworthy people in the palace.
Every day, she was forced to wake up and get ready to welcome all the concubines who had to pay their respects to her, only to be mocked for not being the Emperor’s favourite anymore.
It wasn’t like she couldn’t complain too much to the Dowager, as she already tried to remind her Son multiple times not to forget and neglect his own Empress, his own wife and beloved for so many ages, and yet, it only worked for a little time, and so, realising how she was being problematic to everyone by complaining about her loneliness, only to get shut down and reminded that that is the fate of any woman...
A woman, more alone now than ever before.
She would often go out to the special places she shared with Yin Zhen, often lost in thought, as memories kept flooding her mind and damaging her heart, only to realise that no matter how much she’d try to keep herself busy, her mind would still fly over to him.
She would try to practice the flute and zither from dusk till dawn, and even to the latest hours in the night, only for him not to even remember she could play, and asking the younger, pretties concubines to play, at all banquets held.
She would practice all kinds of intricate dances, wearing the flowiest of dresses that looked like the river, only to hear that she should settle for clothing fit for her age, and see him dancing with other women in the light of the moon.
She would sew random brocades and threads in whatever piece of garment she could think of, only to then throw it in the fire in frustration, knowing he hasn’t worn anything she’s made for him lately.
She would practice calligraphy until the candles were almost burnt and her eyes were burning from the sleep depravation and straining, only to rip the books apart, noticing the tears, smudges and shakiness on the pages.
For a while, she refused to leave her palace completely, only to realise her thoughts were much darker when alone, so she would walk through the secluded gardens and weep on the now deserted swing from the Peach Garden.
No matter how much she tried, her poor maid, Shi Lian, could never make her happy again, for the only one who can mend a broken heart is the one who threw it to the ground in the first place, but he was too busy with others, and Shi Lian was so angry at the Emperor, pitying the poor woman, especially since she, herself, was married and with children.
But she was happy, and Y/N was at least happy for her good fortune. At least she, her only friend, deserves to be happy.
On one winter day, the Emperor held a banquet, declaring that a famous Zither player would entertain them, and as customs said, the Empress must, too, attend, but big was her shock when she recognised that beautiful and otherwise stoic man with silver hair, whose emotions coloured the worlds while playing the instrument, and she couldn’t help but cry when she heard ‘Autumn Moon over the Han Palace’ and ‘Plum-Blossoms in Three Movements’ , songs which reminded her of her younger self, and the time he started courting her, before she chose duty over happiness and entered the Palace.
What a foolish decision. Instead of living for herself, she always lived for others, which only caused her sorrow and misfortune. Maybe she deserves it, and this is her karma for being such an idiot.
After the banquet was ready, she went to talk to the musician alone, who clearly recognised her as soon as he first laid his eyes upon her still beautiful face.
“Not even time can destroy such beauty. My heart is happy seeing you again, Y/N. And I see you became the Empress.” JiKang spoke, his voice warmer now than with anyone else. “Time is cruel, for it destroys words and promises. I am an Empress over nothing but the ashes of my own heart and the disrespect I receive from everyone. You, however, seem to be thriving as usual. I can only guess how many places you’ve visited thus far, and how much you’ve learned over the years. I truly envy you.” she spoke with sorrow and helplessness. “Women are forced to choose duty over themselves. If you, however, wish to defy all laws, my offer still stands.” he spoke, taking her hands in his, rubbing them comfortingly. “If I could turn back time, I would give up everything, just to be with you. To be free. To have someone who wouldn’t lie to me for decades and then forget I exist. I only wished to learn, love, and be happy...But I suppose I was too greedy to even dare wish for good fortune on myself. Which is why, I cannot leave without first talking to the Emperor. If I leave without another word, he would hunt me down, and kill you, above all else, and that is not something that I would ever wish for. I will tell him to fake my death and get another Empress. If he accepts, I will come with you. If not...Then...” she trailed on, sighing, without having the strength to utter those dreaded words. “Then, I will return to you another time and play songs, to mend your heart.” the Zither player promised, only for a brief silence to take over, as her green eyes, once full of life, like the evergreen forest, were as dead as the ashes of a pine tree. “...There will be no next time.” her sentence was coded, but him, as an emotional person, was the one who understood her the best. “Then I shall create a score and play the ‘Requiem for God’s Caged Bird’ and ‘The Lovely Fox Spirit and The Wavering Dragon’ in your honour, wherever I go.” was his last promise to her, as he watched her small form become no more in front of his very eyes.
And it was true, he never saw her, for the discussion between the Emperor and the Empress went as bad as it could get, even going as far as to strike her face, which reminded her of yet another promise that he broke. It should be all of them, by now, she thought, as she looked at him with an exhausted expression.
“You promised me so many things, and in the end, you broke all of them. Thank you, my darling Yin Zhen, for reminding me that I’ve been nothing more than your caged song bird that you forgot and threw in another room, in cold and darkness, to slowly starve and die in agony. The least you could have done was to fake my death and let me be happy, for the few years that I had left on this world. But, of course, nobody from your collection can escape, can they? Next time, I would suggest Zhen Huan, she is a lovely girl, and you love her the most, and in turn, she truly loves you. Just...Make sure not to treat her the same way you did with me...Goodbye, my beloved Yin Zhen. I truly loved you...And I still do.” she spoke...And then she left, not giving him the chance to say another word.
But that all happened during day light, as the next night, the true banquet would take place, to celebrate New Year’s Day, and JiKang would play once again.  And she wasn’t there, just as he’d expected. And he played more beautifully, more emotionally, than he ever did in his entire life, showing how much he cherished her, and how angry and frustrated he is with the Emperor took her away from him, mistreated her, constantly lying and breaking her heart.
“Shi Lian, my dear, why are you still here? You should be with your family, not with some old, pitiful woman like myself.” Y/N spoke from her writing table as she finished a note, putting her seal over it, and folding it so its contents won’t be seen. “Your Majesty, don’t be silly! I am your maid, I will always be here for you!” she chuckled brightly, which made the Empress give her a sad smile, her heart hurting as if impaled, once again. “Well...I won’t be going to the Banquet tonight, that much is clear. I can hear the beautiful music from over here. Here, take this. Give it to the Emperor’s Head eunuch as fast as possible, and tell him to give it to the Emperor when he wakes up in the morning, otherwise, nobody is allowed to read it, okay?” she said, wiping a few tears. “Yes, Your Majesty, I will hurry there right now!” the maid said, but before she left, the Empress rose to her feet, pulling her into an embrace. “Thank you, Shi Lian. You have been my only friend all this time. Thank you for everything. Now, please, after you’re done with this task, go stay with your family. I will have an early night...I am extremely tired.” she stroked her hair, almost in a motherly way, which confused the maid, but nonetheless, smiled at her master. “No, Master, thank you for being the amazing woman that you are. It’s an honour being by your side!” she bowed slightly, before rushing to the door. “Sweet dreams, Y/N Niangniang!” Shi Lian grinned cheerfully before taking off to the palace. “...I’m sure I will.” Y/N sighed, taking a bag and going to the Plum Garden, wearing nothing but her pyjamas.
She sat down on the soft grass, ignoring the cold that was paralysing her senses, and she took out the bottle of red wine, pouring herself a cup, before letting it spill on the ground. Then, she took a sachet, pouring its powdery contents into the bottle, and started rapidly gulping it down, letting the burning sensation in her throat be the only warm part in her body.  When the bottle was finally empty, she put it back in the bag, taking out a beautifully engraved vertical jade flute, that Yin Zhen gifted her after winning the competition where he played the zither, against the Princess of Western Liang, and so, she let all her emotions flow and be scattered all over China, through the wind, propelled by the sound of the instrument, all while the snowflakes were beautifully dancing around her, creating different accessories embellished with ice, that would set down on her, making her look like a Snow Empress.
If it weren’t for the tragic truth, she would look almost ethereal - With her white face, and white nightgown, the white decor, the green eyes and flute...The red hair, the red wine, the red plum blossoms...And the red blood.
She played and wept until she couldn’t feel her fingers anymore, not her frozen lips, as the flute fell from her hands and she let herself sit back on the bed of snow, looking up at the sky, just as she did, over 20 years ago.
Her death was tragically beautiful, just as she said back then.
“I should just go end myself with some wine, out in the Plum Garden. It would be a very fitting end with no pain. Very beautiful...Maybe some music would have made it perfect.” that’s what she said, long ago, and remembering her own words, she let darkness take over her, greeting it with a smile on her face - A smile, after decades of weeping.
A true smile.
The next morning, the Emperor woke up, with the beautiful Zhen Huan by his side, and his Head Eunuch waiting for him for any command. 
“Your Majesty, the Empress’ maid came by yesterday, saying that Her Majesty instructed her that you should be reading this now, in the morning, as you’ve waken up. She said she doesn’t know what it contains, as Her Majesty was secretive, but she said Her Majesty was behaving a bit...Odd.” the Eunuch explained the situation, as the Emperor, nodded with a grunt of approval, taking and unfolding the scroll that was neatly written in her beautiful calligraphy.
My Darling Yin Zhen,
To think that this is what time had in store for us...It’s almost pitiful to think that we would grow apart like this, considering how close we used to be at the beginning, when you were still a Prince, and we didn’t have any real worries on our shoulders.
Now, here we are, the same way we promised we would never become - Enstranged.
I missed you so much, every day and every night - I would always look at you, and see you, yet you never spared a glance my way anymore.
Saying that I used to be jealous is an understatement, I warned you of that before I even accepted to be with you, yet I never imagined that this would become beyond that, and that I would die of a broken heart, for my missing beloved.
Every day, I would count the promises and vows you made for me, and every day, I would cross them, one by one, and crush a flower in my hands, for every broken one, until there was nothing left.
You promised you would love me, and only me, but as soon as the Palace became flooded with gorgeous concubines, all yours to take, your heart forgot me, and it split all its love to all the women that you shared your bed with, and so, I crushed a Lotus flower.
Your promised you would always hold me in your arms at night, no matter of the woman you’d have to do your Imperial Duty with, and yet, it didn’t take long for you to remember that my bed was made for the both of us, and so, I crushed a Cherry blossom.
You promised you will always tease me, flick my forehead and pinch my cheeks, then kiss them, only for you to cast cold eyes at me whenever I spoke or did something silly, letting the Consort or Dowager deal with me, while you would play and to the same things you used to do with me, with other women, and so, I crushed a Plum blossom.
You used to compliment me on all my small achievements, no matter how silly or insignificant they were, but now, you gave away all the clothes I sew you, all the snacks, cakes and tea I would make you, and all the accessories I would spend days and night to make, and so, I crushed a Begonia flower.
You used to point out how my eyes were sparkling with life and joy whenever I was around you, and how all colours looked amazing on me, you said I was the Empress of Flowers, and yet, ever since you became Emperor, only dark eyes sparkle with happiness around you, and you said I should wear clothes for my age and stop fooling around, and so, I crushed a Peony.
You used to always accompany me whenever I played music, we even beat the Princess of Western Liang together, I with the flute, that you later gifted me, and you with the zither, and after that, you even gifted me that amazing Liang hair ornament...Only for you to forget that I can play musical instruments too, and only let the younger girls perform for you, and so, I crushed a Chrysanthemum.
You used to kiss me with so much love and passion, warming up and mending by broken, frozen heart, as you promised nothing in this life would ever hurt me again, and I would never be alone, and yet, you are the one who completely crushed me, forgetting about me, as if I was some ugly, ragged old doll, thrown away and forgotten by time and life, and so, I crushed a Camellia.
You used to be my confidante, my best and only friend, we trusted each other with all our secrets and gossips, and only each other, and yet, you completely stopped talking to me, making other confidantes now, and here I am, having no one but my maid to talk with, as my last living sister hates me eternally, and rightfully so, and so, I crushed a Narcissus.
You used to take me out at midnight and dance under the veil of stars, under the healing, guarding, loving light of Mother Moon, and we would confess our undying love for each other, and yet, nothing is eternal, and your love for me extinguished like the fire from a candle, and reignited on many other candles, and so, I crushed an Azalea.
But most importantly...
You promised that, no matter what, our hearts will always belong to each other, and nobody else - I kept my end of the promise, but you broke it as soon as you took the throne, and I watched you run further and further away from me, while I was wilting away, exhausted, starving, alone...And so...I crushed a thorny Rose...And let the blood spill on the pure snow...The same pure snow that was my life and innocence which you tainted with your negligence and lies.
The least you could have done was to let me live, at least for now, but it is as you once said - ‘Don’t look at other men, don’t leave me. You are mine, and you can only be mine’ - such an innocent phrase, that only applied to you, not to me, as I had to share you with countless women, yet you didn’t even let me tug on the last string of hope that coincidentally found itself in front of me. 
It was a mirage, just like the happiness you promised me, and no matter how much I tried to run, the image became further and further distant, until my legs gave up, and I began crawling...And crawling...Until it disappeared completely, and I lay grieving on the deserted snow, warmer than your own ice-cold heart.
I should have chosen happiness over duty - I should have eloped with JiKang back then, before I chose to honour everyone and come into the Palace, but that was my biggest mistake, and my greatest downfall - I met you, and as soon as I looked into your eyes, I was trapped.
I was truly nothing more than your caged songbird, and once you got tired of my song, you threw away the key, and my cage in some forgotten chamber, scary, away from any form of life, darker and colder than anything, even Hell.
But it’s fine.
In the end, if it wasn’t true for you, it was true for me, and on my last seconds alive, as I lay on the blanket of snow, just as I told you back then, listening to my own Requiem being played at the Banquet, I count the falling snowflakes, and with each of them, I would think of a beautiful moment that we shared together, and my heart, despite being shattered, smiled, after ages of forgetting how to.
I am happy, at least now, as I lay dying, knowing that I will finally see my beloved Yin Zhen again, as you took him away from me - You, Emperor Yongzheng, destroyed the love between me, Y/N, a simple physician, and Yin Zhen, the 4th Prince, who truly loved me with all of his heart, and I, in turn, loved him with every fiber of my very being.
I blame you, Emperor Yongzheng, for taking my beloved away from me, and taking my youth and heart and locking them in a cell, but at least now, I know that I can be happy, with him, my beautiful, sweet, lovely Yin Zhen, my husband, best friend and confidante.
The only person who was ever by my side all this time has been my maid, Shi Lian - And as a thank you, I want to promote her to Lady Yongqing, and all my riches go to her - I wish you only the best, and I hope, my dear Shi Lian, that you will be happy for me as well.
In the end, I was never Wu Zetian, or Hua Mulan, nor Diaochan or Yang Gufei - I was just Y/N, a pitiful Physician, a pitiful Empress, and, above all, a sad woman, trapped in a hopeless world of sorrow.
Goodbye.
Y/N, the Female Imperial Physician.
Reading that, the Emperor didn’t realise that tears were escaping from his eyes, as he rushed out of the room, making his way to the Plum Garden, only to find the woman he loved with all his being dead, covered by snow, her skin paler than ice itself, and a red stain where her head was - Wine, replicating the incident many years ago.  Next to her, lay the flute he gifted her long ago, and he realised that she was playing her sorrows until the very end. He discovered the wine bottle and poison sachet in the bag, the very bag that she used to steal the incriminatory objects from the consort long ago, and on the snow, he saw a phrase written, one so ironic, yet painful beyond belief.
“A Zhang of Redness”
In the end, she was right - It all began and ended with A Zhang of Redness.
He was, once again, Yin Zhen, the man hopelessly in love, and hopelessly crushed, as he held her in his arms and wept, the salty droplets of water falling down her face in rivers, and in that moment, he couldn’t help but have flashbacks from his youth, all of them, with her by his side.
He truly was the worst, being capable of neglecting the one person he held in higher esteem than Buddha himself, and yet, he let this happen.
How could he let this happen? Why did he do something like this? Did the title of Emperor really get to his head like that? Did he truly forget who he was all this time? Was he, maybe, the one trapped in a false world, away from any exits or escapes?
He didn’t know, and yet, one thing was sure - Y/N was dead, and there was no bringing her back.
At her funeral, he invited JiKang to play, and the Emperor could feel the musician’s own heart throbbing in sorrow, as he looked at her with empty eyes, and yet, the pity and anger he felt was obvious from the way he played.
As night came, and they all lit lanterns to float into the skies, and put candles on lotus flowers, to light up her way to a better, more beautiful world, the two men remained alone, only sadness linking them.
“What were the songs that you played?” the Emperor asked in a low voice. “Songs that I promised I would play in her honour, the last time we talked. I knew what she was going to do, and yet, knowing that she killed herself when I played for her - And more - that she, herself, played, makes my heart ache even more.  ‘Requiem for God’s Caged Bird’ and ‘The Lovely Fox Spirit and The Wavering Dragon’  were the name of the songs.” the musician replied with a certain harsh coldness that resembled a blizzard. “I see...Very fitting indeed.” he grunted in approval hearing his statement. “You are the cruelest man alive. Instead of taking care of her, you let her die. You didn’t even give her a second chance of living. You were desperate to possess everything and everyone. To have everything under your control. So much that you don’t even notice, nor care, that the most beautiful flower wilted in your very own hands. You should be ashamed of yourself, to even call yourself an Emperor. You never deserved her, that much, is clear to me.” JiKang glared at the Emperor, not caring for any kind of repercussion. “You are correct. I never deserved her. I loved her more than anything in this world, and yet, I destroyed everything for her, and now, she is no more. She shares the same fate as all the Four Beauties of China - A most tragic end, for all of them. And the worst is that she needed to die in order for me to wake up, and now, I can’t even make it up to her. Honouring her after death means nothing, if I didn’t while she was alive. It changes nothing.” the Emperor sighed deeply, looking at the stars, the ones she loved so much, and would count together from the top of the flowery hill. “That star right there - It used to be our star. Whenever we’d go to the hill together, we’d search for it. It was our guardian star. It was the brightest, and most beautiful. And now, it seems to be be even brighter...Just like that tale of the Rabbit Moon Goddess.” “...At least bother remembering her after death, if you couldn’t do it while she was alive.” the musician left the Emperor to his own thoughts. “I am sorry, my darling Y/N. I love you. Forever. Endlessly. Only you.” the Emperor muttered, staring at the star, allowing himself to mourn properly now, away from anyone’s eyes.
The Palace of Blue Lotus became her shrine, filled with flowers and beautifully written poems, and guarding it, a statue of her, and a statue of a nine tailed fox, a Huli jing, were standing there, letting offerings of flower crowns, jewelleries, jades and trinkets be placed around and all over them, to honour her kind, beautiful heart, as it should have happened while she was alive.
As promised, the Emperor promoted Shi Lian, but to the title of Lady Shuyu, just like Y/N once was, and offered her a huge allowance, almost the size of an Empress, hoping that it would make Y/N happy beyond life...Yet seeing the maid grieving, her face pink and puffy, no longer cheerful, hurt him beyond belief, as he was reminded of the sins he committed.
And so, once again, he had to pink new concubines for his unfortunate Harem, along with his new Empress, Zhen Huan, just as Y/N said...And there she was, a beautiful young woman, full of life and hope, obviously not wanting to become a slave to him, so he interrogated him, just as he did with Y/N, long ago. This time, his brother, Duke Guo, a free soul seeking his soulmate, was by his side.
The Emperor ordered for a zither to be brought forth for the woman to play, and as soon as she did, his brother joined in, accompanying her in perfect sync, and just as it happened to him long ago, their eyes were trapping each other in a beautiful enchantment of love and bashfulness.
Please, Gods, let them be what I and Y/N couldn’t be, Yin Zhen begged in his heart, watching those two shyly exchanging looks.
“I know you never wanted to serve me as a concubine. You very much resemble my wife, the late Empress Y/N. If you were to join the harem, your heart will be destroyed. That is why...If you would want to, I will allow you to marry any man you fall in love with, even if it is my own brother, Duke Guo. He always preached about wanting to find the his soulmate, and you two look at each other the same way I and Y/N would, long ago. Don’t waste this love on stupid things, like I did. Cherish it, and keep your promises to each other. You never know when life snatches away your happiness, leaving only emptiness and sorrow behind.” Yin Zhen looked at them, his heart conflicted, feeling both happiness and sadness, as the man and woman in front of him appeared to be just another version of himself and Y/N.
He couldn’t see the girl, nor his brother.
He could only see a beautiful red haired woman with green eyes, flowers in her long, cascading hair, and her gorgeous green gown, looking like a Fox Spirit, or a Lotus...And a man, gazing at her lovingly, wearing vibrant gold, his expression soft, despite the deep, dark eyes, that now held love, warmth and tenderness in them.
It wasn’t some random girl and some random boy.
It was Y/N and Yin Zhen.
And then he wept once again for their lost love.
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