#cancer season 2022

[freshmoviequotes]

Sanctuary (2022)

[daportalpractitioner]

full moon in cancer • january 6, 2023

this full moon is for the GRLLLLSSSSS! i'm very excited for us. the full moon in cancer takes place on january 6, 2023 at 5:08 PM CST. with it even taking place at 16 degrees (a cancer degree), the cosmos are being drenched in cancer/moon energy. this full moon is also taking place on a friday, which is venus day! so when i say this moon is for the grls, i mean that it's for the grls. if you consider yourself a divine feminine, then this full moon was especially made for you to dive deep into your femininity.

apart from all that soft grl era sht that y'all be talking about, this is a time to really connect with your feminine aspect. femininity runs as deep as the ocean - it never ends. connect with your womb and consider healing your mother wounds that your womb still holds onto. how can you better nurture yourself? in what ways have you been robbing yourself of truly being in your feminine energy due to you constantly operating in your masculine? this full moon, we are reclaiming our divine power. what ariana grande say? God is a woman? oh okay. also, think about what needs to be nurtured before you give birth to it because if you were ready for it, you'd have it already. we have to tend to our dreams like they're our plant babies in order for us to ensure long-term results. a lot of people may experience career changes during this time as theres a pull to do more intentional work.

this is a good time to manifest balance between work and rest, more softness and ease, a healthy relationship with your mother and healing any parental wounds in general, more inner safety, a healthy family, and a deeper connection to your ancestors that protect you and support your highest visions. this life is not meant to be as hard as we make it on ourselves. invite more rest in. allow yourself to be receptive while being diligent in your work as well. may this full moon allow you innerstand that you don't have to do things that you don't want to do! amen.

how to alchemize with the full moon:

create a healthy balance between work and rest

focus on your vision for community

create more boundaries with social media and your real life

value your authentic expression

present your aesthetic without trying to fit in

answer the call to work from home (if this applies to you)

rest in necessary. you will not be punished

release unnecessary pressures

manifestation work!!

self-care night

journal

[howisjoostfanfictionforfree]

Twice as Many Shadows

Joost Klein x Vampire!reader

Real person fiction!

CW: 18+, MDNI, RPF, getting roofied, attempted sexual assault, body horror, reference to violence against animals, cannibalism, no smut yet sorry (that’s in part 3 heehee), obligatory club scenes, countless other cliches, please let me know if I’ve forgotten anything

Reader: vampire!reader, female!reader, not descriptive with reader’s appearance but I did give them a bit of personality and a backstory that I hope does not detract from the ability to self insert,,,, yeah I may have gone too hard on backstory

Other notes: Story takes place Fall of 2022,,,,Also big thanks to my irl bestie for his help identifying stray plot bunnies and big thanks to @joosthead for always encouraging me and giving me so much advice over time when it comes to writing! You’re amazing!!!

Word count: ~5,900

Real person fiction! Beware! 👻

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You’ve been so many places over the past few years but Amsterdam is a first.

The Netherlands club scene tickles you and Amsterdam is the center of it all. Bouncing from city to city and country to country has kept you sane but this place has you pausing for the first time in what feels like forever.

The energy of summer saturated the nightlife when you arrived and parties raged until the dawn. Festival season was loud and unignorable but even the mainstay clubs and bars were full to bursting for months on end. Anywhere a body could fit there was a party to accommodate.

Even now as long warm nights turn crisper and darker as summer turns to autumn, the Dutch party on and you find yourself carried away by the momentum they never seem to lose.

It’s easy to stay. Maybe it's just been long enough since you started all this that you feel like you can breathe normally. Maybe you're just far enough away.

Maybe it really is just something about Amsterdam.

You’re growing attached to this place. You dread the day you will have to leave.

He catches your eye at the club. You notice him first, of course. Can hear him from clear across the room despite the bone-rattling music and a hundred other people.

It’s a Friday night and you itch to be among the crowd. Close enough to feel like one of them and share in their moment. You wish it were yours. You will make it yours too, just like always. 

Something about the exact way he looks and the exact way he speaks to his group of friends is so striking you couldn't ignore him if you tried. He jokes with an open affection that just shouldn't be possible in words chosen so crass and shouted so loud. Never have you heard ‘cancer dick’ sound like an endearment. 

He is so yellow and pink and blue. Your three new favorite colors. Golden hair almost luminescent under the black lights. Cheeks as pink as his flashy jacket. Eyes bluer than the toxic looking drink in his hand.

You couldn't say whether or not he is conventionally handsome. The sight of him immediately fills a space in your brain you didn't know existed like a lock and key and bowls over your pre-existing notions of the word.

Every part of his face fits in perfect proportion to the rest in a way you have never seen and it has you floored.

There's nothing unusual about it, nothing you can put your finger on, just something absolutely entrancing. 

He isn't just beautiful either. That perfect face is radiating an attitude like no one else in the room. No one else looks as happy, as carefree, as genuinely joyous. You can hear it in his words, see it in how he dances like he doesn't care who is watching. You can tell he doesn't. 

How long has it been since you felt such strong attraction? It makes you stupidly nostalgic for how simple things like this might have been when you were human.

You could have flirted with him, danced with him, maybe even taken him home, gotten his number in the morning.

Now, he is everything you want, everything you want to be, and most definitely everything you can't have. 

Not like that at least. He wouldn't have you. 

He catches your gaze from across the floor. Yeah, you probably are staring aren’t you. But you don’t look away. One perk of your creature status is a much increased ability to not give a fuck. Even when you really really should. His eyes rove over you and his face breaks into what you would call a smirk. 

You want to see it fall as you bite a chunk out of him. 

Okay, time to leave. Better get out of here before you do something weird. Turning away, you weave through the crowd. You feel his eyes on you the whole way out.

Literally. Vampires can do that. 

The itch of his gaze evaporates as you step out the door and reach for a cigarette. Disgusting but necessary. Perfect for blotting out all the people-smells that you’re suddenly having a harder time than usual ignoring.

The first drag is fucking toxic but it’s immediately easier not to focus on the cocktail of male sex hormones the club atmosphere provided. You wonder which are his of the dozens dancing on your tongue. 

The overlap between sexual attraction and the urge to hold someone between your jaws still surprises you sometimes. Of course it isn’t always about sex. You could want to eat someone you hated just as bad. Most often it’s a complete stranger.

It’s like squares and rectangles. You might not think about fucking someone every time you need blood, but every time you do want to fuck, you also want to sink your teeth in. 

If you’re being honest though, this observation is based on fairly brief encounters with fairly drunk men. In reality, you haven’t gotten any in a while. Years in fact. Literal monster behavior seems to be a bit of a turn off for most men and sexy encounters always end the moment you get a good few gulps in and their struggling makes you start to feel guilty. 

You sigh. This is far from the first time you’ve wondered at this particular predicament. Why can’t a girl get some?

You flick the butt to the ground and grind it out with your heel. It’s about time to head home. You came out to have fun and you don’t actually need to feed right now. Even if you did, it would probably go poorly given the mood you’re in. 

You don’t have the archetypical problem of killing people when you feed, not that you’ve never killed anyone, but the trauma level for whichever poor person you choose on a given night can vary greatly depending on your state of mind and right now you’re feeling a little worked up. It might be more bloody than usual. 

Ideally, it’s always drunk people you feed on, as fucked up as that sounds, in the end they usually remember less. That or sleeping people.

God. So much noncon. 

But a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do. Blood banks actually ask a lot of questions and you’ve never felt like trying to intimidate a doctor into faking a condition for you, too afraid of catching their interest and becoming a science experiment.

There aren’t any vampires you've met yet that could point you in a helpful direction either. You never even got to know the vampire that turned you. 

The exact circumstances of your metamorphosis were actually a bit of a mystery. You had no memory of being bitten.

One night you came-to in the middle of the street, blocks away from where you should have been, shoulder bloody, and within the hour you were crawling out of your skin as you transformed. 

Outwardly, you looked no different, but that night your senses shifted and heightened and your bones and muscle tore apart and regrew stronger in far too short a time. 

It was a good thing you had been alone. You had been with your friends before. It was a girls night out catching the newest Spiderman in theaters.

Sitting there on the pavement, blood seeping into your shirt, you knew there was something off and you stumbled home without finding them. 

When you arrived you realized you were more than just in shock. It hurt. Everything hurt. You should have gone to the hospital. But how could you have known?

It came on fast.

By the time you knew there was something really wrong, you were too weak to make it anywhere in your agony. Too weak to even make it to your phone in your coat pocket hanging on the door. 

In the end, you are glad no one got to witness what happened. What you are sure would have been beyond explanation. The sight of your own flesh writhing under your skin is unforgettable. The tiles of the kitchen floor where you collapsed took days to clean. 

The only thing that kept you from totally freaking out in the moments afterward was the insane thought that maybe you had become Spiderman. As stupid as that sounds.

Not that you were a hero or anything.

That much was clear from the beginning when you stumbled outside to rip into the dog in the yard across the street after realizing you could hear your neighbors through the wall and it was making your mouth water. 

Dogs are disgusting. At least it didn’t die. 

You still watch Spiderman now and then on the days you're feeling a tad existential. Honestly, you wish you could be Spiderman. You don’t really know what you are.

Your heart still beats and you definitely don't sparkle, but your canines are extendable and people really do look delicious sometimes. You feel the need to feed on people but no one you've ever fed on has turned. You checked.

It would be nice if whoever bit you had stuck around to talk it out. In the end, vampire just seemed like the best word for it. 

Never mind the flesh eating part. 

What were you saying? Oh yeah, if you try and find someone drunk enough to not notice a little bite right now, you might accidentally decapitate them. A slight exaggeration, but still. 

The worn cobblestones glitter under the amber lamplights as you make your way down the street towards the tram stop, still thinking about that perfect face.

The breeze carries a real hint of chill now, letting go of the last traces of your favorite summer since you started all this.

The shadows on the water are deeper than you remember ever seeing them. They creep up over the edges of the canals to fill the street and swallow the alley you turn down. 

You make it only a few feet before a group of guys round the opposite corner and take up the entire width of the passage.

Even with the knowledge that they would ultimately move to the side, you don’t want to deal with the urges they might inspire in such a tight space. Not right now.

Somehow you’re only feeling more and more keyed up.

Making a quick decision, you turn around to head back the way you came. The thumping of the bass becomes detectable as you near the club again, rattling you physically to match your internal agitation. 

You round the corner to try going up the other street this time and collide harshly with the exact person you had been looking to get away from. 

What was even the point of being a vampire if you couldn’t avoid clumsy moments like these?

 You take a step back as you raise your hands up slightly in a placating gesture. 

“Het spijt me,” you say trying to dodge around him quickly as his scent absolutely floods your senses. 

Fuck, he smells good. 

The general mixed smells of horny male in the club had been enough when looking at him before, but here and now, you realize you are in real trouble. The way he smells itches something deep in you. You want to fuck him. You also want to bite him. Hard.

Go now. Leave.

He spins as if to follow you as you skirt around him. 

“No problem! Hey I saw you earlier, are you leaving already?” He says in perfect English. He must think you’re a tourist. Technically, you kind of are. 

“Is my accent that bad?” you say, pausing in step to look at him. 

What the fuck are you thinking. You need to go right now. 

He grins. ”Haha, yes a little.” 

You can’t help yourself. You can tell he’s teasing. He was charming before from all the way across the room and he’s just as charming right now. All blond fluff and cheekbones and effortless charisma. You turn to face him fully.

“Well, yeah, I think I’m done for the night,” you say carefully. 

He leans in a little, opens his mouth to say something else, but stops dead when he sees what must be your eyes turning pitch black. 

You feel the subtle tug as it happens. The proximity to something so fucking potent as he leans forward pushes you over an edge you didnt even know was there. You’re literally engaging night vision like you’re going to hunt him or something. Ridiculous. You haven't had this problem in years. 

“Fuck!” he stumbles back. “Your eyes! A-Are you…….What!?” 

You’re still just standing there and you can tell he doesn’t know what to say. For as much as pop culture loves the supernatural, no one is ever actually prepared to encounter it.

You can tell he isn’t drunk enough to forget what he’s seeing right now but once again you don’t care like you probably should.

You allow your gaze to flit from his shocked stare down to his lips and then, after a moment, to his throat. When you look up again, it’s obvious he’s blushing. His eyes have become so dark they could rival your own if it weren't for the sclera.

Less than a second later, the smell of his arousal hits you.

What the fuck?

It stirs you more intensely than you thought possible and you know it's now or never. Leave or absolutely traumatize this beautiful stranger. 

You summon all your willpower and turn tail and run.

You don’t even try to conceal your speed. It's dark enough and the risk has to be taken if you stand any chance of getting far enough away to save the situation by the time that willpower runs out. 

Besides, he’s already seen you. 

By the time you reach your street you’re panting. God, that was like four kilometers. Whatever fresh Twilight bullshit that says vampires never run out of stamina is just wrong. You may have done it in a nice neat ten minutes but still, that was rough.

The burning in your chest has you feeling decidedly less sexy and you walk the rest of the way home. 

Home was a small apartment you had found on the edge of the city where you could afford to not have a roommate and the landlady let you pay month by month instead of signing on for a whole year. It was always hard finding places like that.

In the few months you had been there not one of your neighbors was especially loud or smelly or nosey and you counted it a lucky find. It was a perfect spot really, and you were glad it was within your budget.

You had been working remote for the duration of your worldly travels. Even if things got tight sometimes, it was a good enough paying job and you wouldn't trade it for anything since it allowed you to move around when you wanted.

After your great murderous fuck-up, you had found it was very soothing to be out of country, even if you were sure no one was onto you. 

It would be pretty hard to pin anything on you with no body.

As far as you know, the poor guy is still considered missing. Well, you say ‘poor guy,’ but the guy was kind of an asshole. You had never been drugged before, but you could tell for him it was a practiced routine.

The horror of the night started at the bar at the local theater. Not a place you had thought to be on your guard. You were there with a few friends in full costume to catch this month's performance of Rocky Horror.

It was intermission and you were all milling about refilling drinks and stretching your legs and fighting to fit as many people at once into the lone photo booth in the corner. The bar was small and you did not expect to stop there for longer than it took to get a new beer. 

He came up next to you, too close from the get-go considering there was no one else standing there, and made conversation while he had you captive waiting for your drink.

He wasn’t from around there, was visiting he said, and wanted to know what people do for fun. You could tell he really meant he wanted to know what fun he could have with you.

As forward as he was, it wasn't unusually pushy and you were ultimately unbothered when you broke away to find your friends. You never even saw how he managed to dose you. 

You never found your friends.

You don’t even remember how you made it to his car. 

One minute you were walking back to your seat and the next, you were outside. It was cold. Someone was carrying you bridal style.

You were pretty out of it for a good minute. Not sure how long exactly, but long enough that when you started processing things again, you were pulling up by the side of the road near a cow pasture.

He clearly thought you were still out of it because he removed his hand from your thigh, cut the engine, and got out to go around to open your door without a word. 

God knows what he had in mind for you that night, but you never found out because as it happens, he was right, you were still kind of out of it. Not like he had intended, your metabolism already working through a dose surely meant to incapacitate, but you were still loopy enough that logic was miles away and a cold and creeping dread began to fill you as you realized your situation.

The inability to think clearly, though it was getting better with each second, was only more agitating. 

It didn't even occur to you at the time that he stood no chance, that this was all ridiculous. You had been different for too short a time back then.

He was a threat, and one way or another you were about to respond. 

He opened your door. 

You had never felt the kind of fear-panic-rage before that you did in that moment. 

You were up in a flash as soon as he opened it wide enough and dragged him with you into the field.

Your strength was unexpected and his last words were no more than a surprised shout before you ripped his throat out and drank.

Each time he thrashed, the panic fought to overwhelm you and you drank faster to quiet him. He couldn't hurt you if you made him stop moving. 

When he ran dry, the panic-rage still burned and it seemed only natural to take a bite. A real bite. You had to make sure he stopped. 

So you did. 

And then another bite. 

And another and another and before you knew it, he had no head. 

Then, he had no arm and then soon, he only had a leg. 

The only thing you didn’t eat was his clothes. 

When light started to creep over the horizon, you finally came out of your state. You felt both calm and horrified. The threat was gone, but you also didn’t know you could do that. Where did it all go? Forget the size of your stomach, your entire body couldn’t have fit his inside of it. 

It was a little startling at the time. 

You burned his clothes and drove his car to the bottom of a lake. It might have been enough, probably was, but after that you didn’t stick around long to find out.

All this was to say that you enjoyed where you were now. It had been a good couple of years and you were now only vaguely disturbed about your latent abilities. You had even gotten back to the point where you were going back to bars and clubs again!

There was a time when you stayed away after that. You had been slow to return to enjoying nightlife, but Berlin had done wonders in that department and Amsterdam only solidified it. There was something about the Dutch brand of party that made you feel alive.

Tonight put a slight damper on that feeling of progress though. You’re not sure what you would have done to that guy if you hadn't left that very second.

Even if the situation was entirely different, it was the first time since that disastrous night that you have felt so out of control.

You can’t say you felt particularly murderous but you did want to hurt him in ways that make you blush a little now as you trudge up the steps to your door and wrestle with your keys. 

Ugh. You can never repeat that night. 

You will have self control. 

You do have self control. 

Mostly. 

You should just calm down already. As you bolt the door and slip off your shoes, you resolve to make tea and forget about it. Besides, you didn’t really do anything and no one will ever believe him. 

The next day finds you completely normal and you spend your time working. You had a good night's sleep all things considered.

It’s such a good thing that vampires can sleep. Sure, maybe you would get more done if you didn’t, but honestly you think you would go crazy. You love your comfy little nest and you love turning your brain off. It needed to be turned off after that encounter. 

By next week, the entire thing is forgotten (filthy lie) and you feel like it is high time for another visit to the club. Boredom is killer and you can't resist anyways. Last time was surely a one-off.

You do yourself up and make your way downtown. 

The street lamps reflect off the water and the countless neon signs of bars and restaurants give the streets an ethereal glow despite the shadows, deep as ever.

They scatter in in every direction, multiplying in protest of the city lights and gathering themselves to obscure every corner.

The pounding bass spills out the door of every club you pass and the carefree Friday night energy of every person wandering the streets is tangible. 

Amsterdam is so awesome. 

You purposefully choose a new spot you found on Instagram, hoping to avoid running into him again.

You’ve never been big on social media, but ever since your life took you on the road it became critical to your navigation of the world. It took some getting used to, especially with no one in your life to ask more than superficial questions, but you figured it out. 

It still startles you occasionally just how non tech-savvy you can be. It’s not usually an issue but when you forget how to convert file types or struggle to navigate online forums you can't deny you’re a little behind the curve. Honestly, you might as well be a vampire from the 17th century not the 21st. One hidden away in a decaying manor far from modern technology. 

An exaggeration, but it really feels that way sometimes. 

You often pat yourself on the back for learning how to use the software necessary to do your job. Your career hadn’t required it of you before and it was only due to the fuckass pandemic that it had become an option. Now that you had the tech down it was very convenient to be able to do your job virtually.

That had been one of your biggest concerns in the beginning. How were you gonna fund your life on the run if you had to constantly search for new employment? 

When you get to the club it is delightfully similar to the photos and you spend your evening rotating between dancing your ass off and people-watching from the side when the smells and jostling get a little too exciting.

Yes, the club is exciting. The right amount this time around. You feel like a real young adult. You give yourself another pat on the back for your foray into normalcy.

It’s a smaller club on Lange Leidsedwarsstraat. By no means tucked away, but far enough from Leidseplein main square that there are far fewer tourists.

The ice is starting to melt in your drink. You can’t be bothered with it when there is so much to look at.

There can't be more than fifty people crammed in this tiny renovated warehouse but they manage to sport a variety of fashion and dance styles. Inevitably, you spot hakken amongst them. The tangle of decks and mixers on the small raised stage is huge and the lone DJ operating it all glows in alternating colors as lights strobe from behind to scatter over the crowd.

You work your way out of the corner and back onto the dance floor again. The upbeat song playing now hits just the right vibe for how you’re feeling. 

Doe de Fryslân bop

Wist je niet dat ik van Fryslân kom?

Dude, doe de Fryslân bop

Blaas het op als een fietsbandpomp

You bop along for a minute as the song demands and notice a group of several people shouting along much louder than everyone else. They seem to know every word.

One of them facing away from you turns in place as he dances and suddenly you’re locking eyes with the exact same guy. 

Jesus Christ, what are the odds. 

Well, maybe not terrible odds if you consider he’s probably a local. 

But still. Goddammit. 

His face instantly lights up and it would be kind of cute if you weren’t panicking. Those baby blues pack a punch. What happened to not giving a fuck?

Before you can move a single muscle to make your retreat, he is surging towards you through the crowd and  o h   s h i t   you did not expect that.

You thought he’d be running too. Even if he had been surprisingly horny in the face of inhuman eyes, you figured the freakish speed there at the end would have been enough to spook him.

Shocked, you fail to stop him from grabbing your wrist like he can tell you’re gonna make a break for it again. Vampire reflexes who? You open your mouth to protest but before you can say anything he leans in and bites your shoulder.  

What.

WHAT?

You realize you’re shouting it as he pulls away laughing. 

“Fancy seeing you here!” He is way too happy.

“You bit me!”

“Are you gonna bite me back?” 

“What!?”

“C’mon, I know you want to.” The way he waggles his eyebrows should not be attractive. It is.

“Excuse me?!”

“I’ve watched enough tv to know a bloodsucker when I see one.” He looks stupidly smug.

“Yeah, tv. You should probably stop watching so much.”

“Your eyes were beautiful y’know.” You feel your own heart stutter.

“I think you had too much to drink.”

“Please, that was not drunk at all, you should have seen how we ended the night!”

“Yeah, you definitely were. But you’re joking, right? You should know most girls aren’t into roleplay right off the bat.” Maybe you can embarrass him into leaving you be. 

He scoffs and brings his other hand to the back of your head so he can pull you in as he leans down to whisper in your ear. 

“Why did you run?”

You can tell he’s deliberately holding your face close to his throat and god damn him, you know what he is trying to achieve and it works. This close to the source, the other smells of the club can’t run interference.

His presence is just as overwhelming as the first time and the smell of his skin and the thump of his heart is so close now you can’t help your reaction once again.

You feel the familiar tug behind your eyes and the shadows of the room start to melt away. The little silver chain sitting against his clavicles snaps into perfect definition.

He pulls away to gauge your reaction, the sly motherfucker, but his grin melts into stupefied wonder when he sees exactly what he had hoped for. 

“There it is.” He whispers. His heart is beating harder than ever and his scent rushes forward to envelop you even though you are no longer pressed to his neck. He smells like adrenaline. He smells like arousal.

You pout as he drinks you in. He pulled a fast one on you. 

Realizing he’s still holding your wrist, you flex in warning. He grips tighter like he’s afraid to let you go.

“C’mon, I’m not gonna go around gathering a mob with torches and pitchforks, what’s the big deal?”

You hold his gaze. You remember very well what the big deal is. What you are capable of when emotions are this high. He has you feeling something, alright.

But, you have to admit, even though everything about his presence is sending you into the stratosphere, it is nothing like that night. This feeling, albeit intense, is a good one. 

When was the last time someone talked to you like this? After seeing what you were? Never. Maybe you overreacted before. Maybe you can control yourself. As much as you want to rip into his shoulder you're not doing it. You‘re enjoying looking at him too much.

He really is beautiful.

Right now it doesn't feel like you're in danger of a big deal 2.0. Just maybe something equally stupid.

“You know I’ll have to kill you if you out me right?” You look over at the rest of his group where they are still dancing. 

His eyes widen at your indirect confirmation- you are a vampire. His grip becomes stiff and you finally get a whiff of fear. Good. Even if you’re lying, he should know who he’s dealing with. 

He stutters a bit, “I-I told some of my friends I saw something crazy, but they don’t believe me I swear! They just think I was drunk! Like you said!” 

God, he’s outing himself already. He’s so lucky you’re not actually evil. You just laugh and begin swaying to the beat again. You break his hold on your wrist effortlessly now, just a hint of real strength, so you can grab his hand instead. 

“Don’t worry, I’m just teasing. Dance with me?”

Even in the low lighting of the club, you can tell with your shifted vision how hard he’s blushing. In spite of his fear, he smells like he’s ready to fuck you pregnant. 

God, he’s a freak. 

You love it.

He acquiesces after a stunned moment and begins to bounce along with you. After a minute, you see him start mouthing the lyrics and it strikes you again how well he seems to know them. 

“A favorite of yours?” you say. 

”I wrote it!” he exclaims, leaning in. “You like?” 

“Did you really?” You are genuinely skeptical.

He scoffs. “I did! I am huge Netherlands artiest, don’t you know Joost Klein? Also, I know the DJ so he plays my stuff.” You hear humor in his voice but you don’t know what part is a joke.

Joost Klein. Huh. You have never heard that name in your life.

“Wow, I feel so lucky to meet a celebrity.” You bat your eyes at him.

He clocks your bullshit immediately.

“Really! I can show you my stuff! Come to my studio and I’ll show you what I’m working on!” 

You smirk. You are really dancing quite closely now. 

“Wow I dunno, I never usually let boys show me their stuff on the first date.”

He chokes out a laugh “So this is a date huh?” his hands are on your waist now.

“I don’t know yet” You say. “Dance with me some more.” 

Because you are insane, you turn around and lean up against him. The music is a little slower and heavier now than the alt-pop rap playing before. Joost gets the message immediately and soon you’re grinding to the beat. Already, you can feel his bulge against your ass.

You let yourself get lost in the rhythm of the music and the feeling of him against you. It's easy to lose time when his scent and his touch surround you like this. You could almost forget the itch in your canines. 

His head bows and his lips skim your shoulder where he bit you. What a strange sensation. A role reversal. You still can't believe he did that. For a minute, you feel strikingly human.

You arch up into him and let your head fall back against his chest. His lips move up to your ear and he asks, “Can I have your number?” You twist yourself back around to face him. 

It’s getting harder not to just kiss him. 

You maintain eye contact for a minute, his gaze searching yours.

Without breaking the stare-down, you reach into his pocket oh-so-slowly and pull out his phone, offering it to him.

He is starting to look a little crazed but he breaks the eye contact to look down and open it for you. You punch in your number when he turns it to you and slide it back into his pocket, just as slowly. 

Hooking a finger into his belt loop, you look up at him under your lashes. Joost looks like he doesn’t know whether to fuck you now or fuck you later. If he can wait to get you home.

You don’t let him deliberate. 

Leaning up, you ghost your lips over his. “See you soon.” 

And with all the stupid supernatural guile you can muster, you sink backwards into the crowd and disappear. The last glimpse you catch of his face is one of outrage. 

You laugh all the way down the street. 

A side street without lamps lends the shadows you need for cover as you give it just a bit of a speed boost in case he gets the idea to go looking for you again. Lord knows you’ve bumped into him enough times now that he might think to try it. 

You aren’t even to the end of the street before you get a text.

        +31 06 5337496:  y r u so mean to me ( ｰ̀εｰ́ )

          +31 06 5337496:  when will you come to my studio?

          +31 06 5337496: ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡

You're still not sure what he really means by studio. Maybe it was a joke for his apartment. A studio apartment? Or maybe he really does make music. That would be fun. Not that you know much about Dutch music. Or Dutch. You sigh. It’s a process. 

Saving his number you write back.

        cap

          I am not mean

          had to get out of there before you turned full blood-                 

          sucker on me biting my shoulder like that

          Tuesday? 

The dot-dot-dot pops up and goes away no less than seven times before he finally replies.

          Joost:  (/>w<)/ yayyyy can’t wait!!

           Joost:  meet me at 16 Schimmelstraat at 14:00 :333

You can't help but snort at the way he texts. Definitely a funny guy. You have such good taste. 

It took him quite a while to respond compared to the speed at which he first texted you. You might be technologically illiterate, but even you know that means Joost had to think about something a little harder.

He does seem to get flustered by everything vampiric. Oh this was going to be so much fun.

On the other hand, Joost might just be a slow texter. 

You know where you would place your bet. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Thank you so much for reading!! Sorry for the atrocious amount of backstory. I didn't realize what I’d done until it was too late (and I didn’t want to rewrite). I promise the next one will be more Joost-centric interaction and less boring exposition. Btw this series will include smut! Yay!!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

Some thoughts about the KP video and Kate’s statement today. (I initially put these as comments to another post.) These thoughts may be controversial and may be unpopular, but it is what I think and there may be others who feel this way too or who have similar thoughts and are looking for a place to discuss.

So first, this video is not unprecedented. It follows similar videos made for their 10th anniversary and the coronation (I believe there may be an Earthshot video as well), which suggests that KP’s media strategy commemorates significant personal occasions with film like this. What is unprecedented is Kate narrating - I believe this is the first “televised speech” she has ever given. She has given speeches before but I don’t think those were “broadcast” like this one was.

There’s been some commentary about how PR-ish and slick the video feels, to which I also agree. In my comments on an earlier post, I said that the video is responding to criticism and concerns that KP staff likely heard all summer, meant to reassure people of Kate’s status. It sucks that they had to do this because Kate made it clear from the beginning that her health is private. I think they chose a highly-stylized and edited video like this (instead of personal home videos) to help with their privacy. By having someone else film them, they can still protect their kids’ personal selves while opening the window into what “our own home” actually looks and feels like.

In my opinion - and I realize this could be fighting words - it feels like the emotions people may or be feeling about this video comes from how unexpected it was. I’ll give them that point - it was unexpected and very touching to hear Kate’s own words in her own voice narrating clips of her family in their ordinary private lives that she and William have been very protective over.

But it was not unexpected that there was an update on her status. It’s consistent with KP’s pattern of providing quarterly (or seasonal, depending on how you look at it) updates on Kate’s status. After the first announcement in January, we received updates in March (beginning of Spring) and in June (beginning of summer). Now we’ve had an update at the beginning of fall/autumn.

We’ll probably get another one in December for the beginning of winter, which will probably coincide with her Christmas carol service. Given Kate’s message today, I have a feeling that this year’s carol service may be themed around cancer charities, supporters, and patients and their families. (2021 and 2022 were also themed; I don’t remember if the 2023 service was themed.) And if the winter update isn’t for the Christmas carol service, it will definitely be for the holidays with perhaps a “new beginnings for a new year” kind of message.

I liked the video. I like that KP has updated their social media profiles and account pictures with new photos from the video. I don’t find it as emotional as others are, but that’s not a knock on anyone who is emotional about it. I do see it as a PR tool to counter criticisms and concerns that have been discussed all summer long, but I also see it as a genuine “thank you” from Kate for giving her the space, time, and privacy to focus on herself and her family. It was an extraordinary request that most people honored and so she thanked everyone in the most extraordinary of ways; a peek at what her family is like on their own time and in their own homes.

(Also, I’m warning all y’all now: there’s a very good chance the Christmas photo will come from one of these video filming sessions. I don’t want to hear anyone complaining about how upset they are we didn’t get any new exclusive content. We just got a 4 minute video!)

[brawlingdiscontent]

CW: Mentions of death and suicide, spoilers for all of Interview with the Vampire season 2 

In season 2, episode 5, “Don’t be afraid, just start the tape,” a number of key questions circle around Daniel and Louis: Why did Louis pick Daniel to go home with him? Why did he ultimately save Daniel from Armand? This post unpacks these through a close reading of the episode and explores how they shed light on 2022 Louis’ character arc. (AKA, I decided to be a huge dork about this episode!)

Near the top of the episode, Daniel raises his “outstanding questions” about 1973 with Louis: “...like why you talked to me in the first place?” He doesn’t buy Louis’ unsatisfactory and avoidant answers, but Louis succeeds in dodging his questions with another – “What’s the next thing you remember?” 

In the flashback, we see Louis reject Daniel’s sexual proposition because, as 2022 Louis tells Daniel, “you offered something off the menu.” But what, exactly, is that?

Louis’ problem is his inability to examine or work through the massive amount of pain he carries, relying instead on various strategies of avoidance (which, for example, form the spine of his Paris life). The result is Louis’ dissociation and separation from himself. In 1973, the resulting internal pressure has culminated in a self-destructive spiral (128 boys) from which Louis desperately needs an outlet—which leads to what present-day Daniel describes as a “floundering” Louis, “eager to spill” “tape after tape of emotional upchuck”—burning with the need to vent the pain held inside and repressed for so long.

Later Louis tells Armand, “the ten hours I spent with that boy were more exciting, more fascinating than decades spent with you!” which Armand mishears as Louis saying that DANIEL is fascinating (and obsesses over this—more on Armand later). But what Louis actually says is the hours spent together were exciting and fascinating, in other words, the experience Daniel afforded, the interview. So what was this experience?

While the interview is valuable, not just any interview or interviewer would do the trick. Daniel is more than ”an eager black hole” absorbing others’ stories, and the experience is more to Louis than just having a listening ear.

The key, surprisingly, lies at the point where Louis snaps. Deep in reflection and depression, Louis tells Daniel that after Claudia set off on her planned Europe trip he thought about killing himself, staying in the park until the sun came up. And instead of empathizing Daniel gets mad: 

Daniel: “Are you kidding me? What, you were just gonna end it!? I mean, what about life? Like, joyrides and night swimming, and marriage, and cancer, and all of that till the death rattle? I mean we gotta carry all this shit and you had a ticket out and you were just gonna throw it away?..... you were given the gift, and I’ve been hearing you bitch the night about it.”

Upon Louis’ answering outrage, Daniel adds: “I mean, you don’t understand the meaning of your own story.”

While, to be clear, Daniel also doesn’t know the meaning of Louis’ story and his take on it is pretty bad (the meaning is ‘make Daniel a vampire??’) The provocation within these words and his call to life are very valuable. When Louis examines his existence he only finds meaning in pain, which makes him afraid to look closer and makes death seem the only viable escape. Daniel, even with all his struggles, affirms life through its challenges and prompts Louis to interrogate his own narratives about his story, which fixates on the burdens of vampiric existence. 

Meanwhile, in Louis’ immediate environment, the only thing Armand knows how to affirm is death, which we soon watch him try to coax Daniel into. (Not taking sides on Armand, here. I think both Armand lovers and haters can agree that whatever else he may be he is a Sad Little Muffin). Throughout season two Armand repeatedly discourages Louis from engaging with his pain. For one brief example, in 2.1 when Louis cries when discussing Claudia with Daniel, Armand calls for a break and tells Louis he's ‘lost control of the interview’. I think we can read multiple motivations into Armand’s actions: that he’s intervening both for Louis’ sake as he’s afraid that confronting the pain will kill him (as it almost did that night in 1973) AND that he doesn’t want his lies exposed— he’s a complex creature.

Figuratively, for Louis’ arc, Armand represents fiction and illusion. That’s what the theatre’s about, and his big-boss persona hiding a fragile gremlin, and even his ‘Rashid’ disguise. He generally prefers pleasing fantasies and fictionalized narratives—including wilfully ignoring the reason that Louis is with him in 2022 (the name, unspoken in their home for 23 years)—to painful truth. In this respect and others, he is the exact counter to Daniel (which makes them such a fascinating pair).

Where Armand is death, Daniel is life. Where Armand is illusion, Daniel is truth. By offering the opposite of Louis’ current environment, life and truth, and giving him permission/encouragement to address his pain, Daniel becomes a source of fascination that Armand can’t pin down. (And how could he figure out that it’s Daniel’s joy for life and zest for truth that’s the source of Louis’ fascination, when Armand, himself, has little of his own.)

However, Louis doesn’t understand the gift that Daniel offers him in the moment. Instead, injured by the provocation, he lashes out and attacks Daniel. It’s what happens later, in the fight with Armand, that cracks things open for him.

Louis and Armand’s fight is the emotional equivalent of them digging their fingers in each other’s open wounds. One of the last things that Armand says to Louis before the latter runs onto the roof is: “...[Claudia] didn’t love you, not like he did. Not like I have.” Louis says, “I know. I know! Yes. I know. Thank you for saying it. It’s all creeping back…” And then after some more raving and a, “She’s calling me”, now high off his mind from Daniel’s drug-laced blood, Louis runs onto the roof. 

Louis running out into the daylight is not so much a deliberate suicide attempt as it is an externalization of his pain, triggered by the memories. His burnt and charred body actualizes the pain that he always carries inside, like a festering wound, but is only now facing. 

While in this painful moment of (literal) exposure, Louis is living out the show’s tagline “memory is a monster” an alternate tagline could also be drawn from it – “the truth, even if painful, will set you free’—which Louis comes to recognize. His pained “thank you for saying it” to Armand after the latter's devastating remarks about Claudia is about Louis’ need to confront the pain. I’m not at all saying that Claudia didn’t love Louis (even Armand’s wording modifies this “not like he did. Not like I have”), but rather that Armand’s words, combined with Daniel’s assertion that Louis doesn’t know the meaning of his own story, draw attention to the fact that the narrative he’s been crafting for himself is one that both preserves his pain, and avoids engaging with or working through it. (Which will eventually lead to bigger discoveries like “I didn’t realize it was a gift”.)

Despite the horrific experience of being burned, as he lies in bed recovering Louis finds that the remembering is worth it, making him realize the value of Daniel’s questioning—and feel the need to return the gift by saving Daniel’s life, where only a few days before he would have drained him had Armand not intervened.

Daniel doesn’t need to live as a testament to Louis and Armand’s relationship—that’s just the bullshit Louis tells Armand to get him to go along with it. Daniel’s high off his mind, but his instincts have helped Louis to see that Louis’ own is one of the “stories that need telling,” and handed him the key he needs to move through his grief. My favourite little detail about this scene is the light hanging above Daniel’s head as Louis offers his pep talk. Daniel sheds light for Louis, so Louis, in exchange, offers him a different kind of metaphorical light: words for when things get tough. They offer each other mutual support (best bros!!)—in a way that Louis’ two hubbies have so far been unable to do. 

Unfortunately, when Armand wipes Louis’ memories of this encounter, the guiding light Daniel offered is gone, too—instead going on to become a central part of Louis' season two character arc once the memories are recovered. 

The question then emerges—if Daniel’s speech was so valuable and healing, why the memory wipes? 

There’s two options: Louis may have recognized the value of what Daniel offered but have still been unprepared to examine his pain, and so asked Armand to erase the memories. The other option is that, Armand, worried about another suicide attempt and Louis leaving him, took away that choice for him by erasing the memory. (What really strikes me here are the parallels between Armand and Lestat. Lestat kidnaps Claudia and threatens to kill her to prevent Louis from leaving him but also out of a desire to save Louis’ life, given his despair at Claudia’s absence. Armand arguably operates in the same way. Both do messed up things for somewhat pure as well as selfish reasons).

I think what actually happened could be somewhere in the middle of these two options—Armand manipulating/convincing Louis into erasing the memory, and a pained, still-healing Louis agreeing. And then of course, in typical Armand fashion, when the topic comes up, he dodges accountability with a, ��But it was your idea, babe.’)

And yet, we see the effectiveness of Daniel’s intervention through the progress they make in the new interview session and once Louis recovers these memories in 2022—for example, we see Louis go from torturing Daniel for probing too far into Claudia, to facing deeply painful memories of her and acceding to Lestat’s version of the story of Claudia’s turning.

As a form of summary, we actually see this whole dynamic I’ve detailed play out in the beginning of the episode in Dubai (and that’s what’s so perfect about the writing!!)—when Daniel says ‘grab that’ and Louis asks about what he’s grabbing:

Louis (recorded): “Funny thing, trying to remember what occupied one’s time, when one was ignorant of the plotting around him.” Daniel: It’s a thing with syntax, I see it a lot. The impersonal pronoun ‘one’—one’s time, one didn’t—becomes the third person ‘him’. Stops being ‘I’ or ‘me’. Louis: And that indicates what? Daniel: You’re circling something, you’re getting close to something you want distance from. Language as a chicken exit on a roller coaster. Armand: Or it’s daytime and a vampire of Louis’ age is fighting the narcoleptic pull of the sun.

It’s the same ditty - Louis dissociates, Daniel identifies the pain point, and Armand tries to change the subject. 

What’s lovely, then, is how this little exchange is prologue to the past playing out yet again the present. And so it comes to pass a few episodes later that Daniel uses his skills as a “bright young reporter with a point of view” to once again shine a light for Louis, getting him to see past the pain, and exposing the truth (Daniel voice: He didn’t save you, Lestat did!)

In conclusion: Best bros 4 eva!!

Thanks for reading! Medal for you, if you got this far!

[inevitably-johnlocked]

Hi! I'm craving some cozy autumn vibes johnlock fics to read in the cold season. Do you have some recs? Lots of love <3

Hi Lovely!!

Oh what a fun list idea!! I can't believe I've never thought of doing one given that Autumn is my fave season! I know more fics than what I picked here for you take place in the Fall, but I've only included ones with the season in the tag. If anyone has more fics, PLEASE add them and give me a hand :)

Hope you enjoy these fics!!

AUTUMN / FALL FICS

See also:

Hot and Cold Fics (June 2022)

Halloween and Ghosts (updated Oct 31/21)

Halloween Fics 2023 (MFLs)

BOOKMARKS

And as the seasons change, I love you more by Teatrolley (NR, 3,219 w., 1 Ch. || Fluff and Angst, Est. Rel., Marriage / Proposal) – A year in the lives of John and Sherlock, essentially.

In the Bleak Midwinter (A Canticle for Advent) by CaitlinFairchild (M, 3,476 w., 1 Ch. || Angst, Injury, Missing Scenes, HLV Timeline) – In the autumn of 2014, Mary Watson shot Sherlock Holmes. This is what happened after.

Let me be the wallpaper that papers up your room by Teatrolley (NR, 3,966 w., 1 Ch. || Est. Rel., Two Idiots in Love, Fluff, Domestics) – Four seasons in the life of Sherlock and John, really.

Pater Noster by SilentAuror (E, 34,256 w., 2 Ch. || Case Fic, HLV/S3 Fix It Fic, Family Trauma, Sherlock POV, Villain Mary) – During the autumn that John is staying at Baker Street again after Sherlock was shot, he ruminates over the similarity between Sherlock's shot and the one that killed his father when he was fifteen. Cold case meets series 3 fix-it. Part I takes place entirely within His Last Vow, Part II takes place starting at the end of HLV and continues after.

Act IV by SilentAuror (E, 39,707 w., 1 Ch. || HLV Fix-It, First Person POV Sherlock, Infidelity, Angst, Drama) – After Sherlock is shot, John moves back into Baker Street. They spend the autumn together as John tries to make sense of his life and make some important decisions about both Mary and Sherlock. Canon-compliant, excerpts from His Last Vow.

MARKED FOR LATER

Into the Gloaming by Vulpesmellifera (M, 8,385 w., 4 Ch. || Heavy Angst, Child Death, Grief / Mourning, Mentions of Cancer, Corvids, Fever Dreams, Hopeful Ending) – She lays the sage bundle down in one of his seashells, avoiding the label. How he loved cataloging natural items. That sharp mind of his so naturally tended to the sciences, and she’d taken great joy in encouraging him all his life. All the first thirteen years of it. The last year has been entirely different. His hand lies just outside the white comforter. When she touches it, the chill of his skin sends a shiver down her spine. His lips move, his voice as soft as dead, dry leaves. “What’s that, love?” she says. “In the trees,” he says, his eyes still closed. “Is it John there in the trees? I think he’s waiting for me.” Viola turns her gaze out the window and to the closest tree, a resplendent cherry in the throes of autumn. In the branches there, for just a second, she thinks she sees it: a black bird, feathers gleaming in the sun.

A Thousand Kisses Deep by Susan (E, 12,689 w., 1 Ch. || PODFIC AVAILABLE || Time Travel, Longing, Angst, Post S1, Time Travel Fix It) – “Come here,” Sherlock said and when he did, he put his arm across John’s shoulder, and pulled him close. John let him, and after a moment, rested his head against Sherlock’s chest. Sherlock felt the familiar ache, a longing for what might have been. If only he’d been braver, more sure of John’s feelings. He dropped his arms and stepped back. It was too late. Things were as they were meant to be. But it was autumn in Sussex, and everything was changing. If you were given a chance to go back to the beginning and make things right, would you take it?

Hot Water Bottle by khorazir (T, 18,436 w., 1 Ch. || Post TLD / TFP Doesn’t Exist, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Misunderstandings, Communication, Demisexual Sherlock, Bisexual John, Autumn, Bed Sharing, Developing Relationship, First Kiss) – A case in one of the remotest corners of the Lake District, a storm, an inn, a broken boiler, a room with two beds but only one hot water bottle, and two men who have a lot to sort out between them – all of this makes for a night to remember.

Johnloctober by prettysailorsoldier (E, 169,945 w., 31 Ch. || Assorted AU’s || Alternate First Meetings, Blow Jobs, Hand Jobs, 30 Day OTP Challenge, Prompts, Halloween / Autumn, Assorted Tags) – 31 days of autumnal Johnlock with prompts from all of you! There will be a bit of everything, but you can check the tags for more specifics.For a summary of every chapter, as well as individual tags, click here.

Enigma by khorazir (M, 289,667 w., 23 Ch. || Codebreaker / WWII / Imitation Game-Inspired AU || Case Fic, Espionage, Period-Typical Homophobia / Sexism, Pining Sherlock, Inexperienced / VirginSherlock, Implied / Referenced Drug Use, Non-Graphic Violence) – It’s the autumn of 1941, war is raging in Europe, German U-boats are raiding Allied convoys in the Atlantic, the Luftwaffe is bombing English cities, and the cryptographers at Bletchley Park are working feverishly to decode their enemies' encrypted communications. One should consider this challenge and distraction enough for capricious codebreaker Sherlock Holmes. But the true enigmas are yet waiting to be deciphered: an unbreakable code, a strange murder, and the arrival of Surgeon Captain John H. Watson of the Royal Navy.

[bcofl0ve]

new austin butler fan? start here!

hey there girl/pal/buddy/friend! welcome to the crazy train the endearing mad house that is the austin butler fandom. i joined the party after seeing elvis 2022 with my dad on a whim opened my third eye and have adored austin ever since. if you have any questions please please send an anon or send me a message, but i hope this post is useful as well!

media

congrats, i have a hyperfixation on being an update blog which means i have a masterpost of where to stream everything he's ever been in since he's started acting!

my personal favorite thus far is shocking no one, elvis 2022, but i'm really excited for everything coming out in 2024!

interviews

if you want to get to know austin the person outside of being an actor, i highly recommend checking out his episode of the marc maron podcast. content warning for talk about losing a parent- austin's mom who passed when he was 23 from cancer, and some allusions to domestic violence re: a step father. but that to say it's imo the most personal interview austin has ever given (and it makes me cry when i listen to it). i linked to apple podcasts but it's also on spotify!

austin's first ever interview from when he was 16 years old (article)

long- and personal, interview/profile via esquire from 2024 (article)

ruthie’s table interview - 2021 podcast with his good friend, chef ruthie rogers. some very sweet childhood talk in here.

austin butler drives greg williams back home (austin going back to his home town and visting his childhood home and elementary school)

austin butler plays with puppies - what the title says

in conversation: baz luhrmann and austin butler (article) - a very funny joint interview where baz and austin talk about filming elvis

austin butler @ the oscar nominees luncheon - the interviewer is jason kennedy, a long time buddy of austin's who also knew his mom. this was my favorite interview of awards season.

austin giving his publcist kate an honorary oscar - also from the oscar nominees lucheon press junket, so sweet! we love his ginger publicist around here (:

austin and lisa marie presley joint interview - lisa adored austin, and he mentioned in a different interview during awards season that when he was at graceland she took him upstairs for *3 hours*. if you're unfamiliar with the presleys, that is point blank unheard of for someone that isn't a blood relative. lisa passed away in january 2023 just two days after watching austin win his golden globe, and is very very missed. (lisa and austin at the globes)

another little lisa and austin interview, my personal favorite because of the hug!

so who's the girl?

austin is currently dating kaia gerber and has been since december of 2021! i'm working on a masterpost timeline of their relationship which will likely take...a while. but in the meantime the basics are that they like to make out in public while also being quite the private couple.

here is a very cute little video of the two of them after the elvis premiere at cannes and my favorite deuxmoi sunday spotting of all time- someone saying they were making out *in face masks* in line at erewhon.

like i said, they are veryyy private but that means the little tidbits we get are a treat! austin 'gushed' about seeing her walk in a celine show here, and here's a little clip of his smiley little self in the front row.

the two share a dog milo, who is the shining baby boy light of ausitn's life and came up no short of two billion times when austin was doing press for his ysl campaign this past summer. we love milo!

(and i also love that austin wears his gf's clothes sometimes, king!)

misc fun stuff

austin is close friends with ashley tisdale, and has been since the two of them met filming the movie aliens in the attic in new zealand in 2008. he's 'uncle austin' to her little girl jupiter, and they're also distant cousins!

speaking of aliens in the attic, 300 years ago in 2008 austin ran a little blog for his fans throughout filming which is just the darn sweetest most endearing thing to me. you can read the entries that i pulled from the wayback machine here and here.

some other austin-isms that i love

his habit of wearing shirts inside out

how everyone that works with him gushes about how kind he is

this little video of him when he was four years old

his dear sweet publicist kate having to hand hold his golden retriever self on track

the 27 he has tattooed on his wrist bc it was his late mom’s god number

and so many other things that would take me too long to list

if you have any questions that this post doesn't answer pls slide me an anon or a direct message! happy to have you here! <3

[dix0nvix3n]

➳જ⁀➴ 𝕯𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊𝖗'𝖘 𝖇𝖑𝖔𝖌 ⟡ [𝔏𝔞𝔰𝔱 𝔘𝔭𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢𝔡: 7/25/24]

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝔊𝔢𝔫𝔢𝔯𝔞𝔩 ℑ𝔫𝔣𝔬:

𓆩⚝𓆪 I'd rather not reveal my real name here so please call me Dagger.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I'm genderfluid and my pronouns are they/he/she.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I'm 22.

𓆩⚝𓆪 Even though I'm genderfluid anything I write the reader will always use she/her pronouns but potentially I may be able to write for a gender-neutral reader.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I'm a big time rambler/yapper so please dm me any time you wanna talk! (Please know that I'll often forget to respond or go through periods of time I can't talk though.)

𓆩⚝𓆪 I'm autistic and have an ADHD riddled mess of a brain which is the core factor of why I write so slow along with me being new to writing and not grasping it easily so please be patient with me. Trust that I have several wips at all times that I can never finish.

𓆩⚝𓆪 Another part of being neurodivergent makes it so that I have a harder time interacting with people here. I often don't reblog and sometimes I won't even like a post because I feel like I'm bothering the person who made the post somehow. My brain isn't very nice to me. I'm trying to get past this but it's hard.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I currently only write for Daryl Dixon from The Walking Dead and Scud Frohmeyer from Blade 2 but I hope to write for other characters Norman has played some day.

𓆩⚝𓆪 My fics will always come with a warning description of some kind and if l ever miss something you think should be in the warning, please let me know!

𓆩⚝𓆪 I post edits @ daryldixonvixen on tiktok, if you're also an editor please tell me and I'll follow you!

*ੈ✩‧₊˚ 𝔉𝔲𝔫 𝔉𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔰:

𓆩⚝𓆪 My favorite TWDverse ship isn’t even from TWD, it’s actually John and June from Fear The Walking Dead and my favorite Non Canon TWD ship is RosiTara. I don’t ship Daryl with anyone probably cause of how attatched I am to him so don't expect to see any ship posts. (Your ship opinions are valid though so don't come bringing ship discourse to my page. I hate Bethyl though and if I see you supporting the ship it's an instant block from me.)

𓆩⚝𓆪 I have 10 piercings. Septum, right eyebrow, a daith, a conch, a bridge, four helixes, and a left nostril.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I first watched The Walking Dead at a themed birthday party for it when I was in 7th grade when I was 13, we watched the whole first season and I wanted to continue watching once I got home but I couldn't find any way to watch it so I didn't end up watching again until December of 2022 when I was 20. The only things I could remember from when I first started watching were Glenn and the horse dying lmao. The show forever changed me and has become a major source of comfort for me and became my special interest, I'm just so mad it took me so long to watch more of the show.

𓆩⚝𓆪 I don't understand zodiacs too much but I'm a Cancer Sun, Scorpio Moon, and a Capricorn Rising.

𓆩⚝𓆪 My current hair style was inspired by Scud since I loved his hair so much!

𓆩⚝𓆪 How Daryl would help you on your period

𓆩⚝𓆪 Trimming Daryl's hair blurb

𓆩⚝𓆪 Convincing Daryl to wear reading glasses to help with his squinting

𓆩⚝𓆪 Music Daryl Dixon would listen to but it's accurate spotify playlist

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl running from the cops from a house party blurb/ inspired by Killing In The Name by Rage Against The Machine

𓆩⚝𓆪 Murphy Macmanus speaking multiple languages when dirty talking to you

𓆩⚝𓆪 Piercings that Scud would look good with ramble

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl with a reader who has multiple piercings

𓆩⚝𓆪 My Travis chai bot

𓆩⚝𓆪 The Summer of 1992 and What Came Before and After (Will be putting a link to a new masterlist for the series here instead at some point.)

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl and Norman Lightroom edits 1

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl and Norman Lightroom edits 2

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl, Sandman edit

𓆩⚝𓆪 Daryl, Blue Monday edit

𓆩⚝𓆪 Murphy, Carnival edit

𓆩⚝𓆪 Scud, Can't Get You out of My Head edit

𓆩⚝𓆪 Multiple Norman characters, Hotel Motel edit

𓆩⚝𓆪 To see any of my various shitposts go into my search under the tag ;daggershitposts📣

𓆩⚝𓆪 And here's a Daryl and me face reveal moodboard. This is probably the only place here on my account where I'll show my face. This really shows why I wrote the reader from The Summer Of 1992 and What Came Before and After as alternative cause I myself am alternative!

[covid-safer-hotties]

COVID still rages, and the Biden administration isn’t helping - Published Jan 6, 2024

Readers who bristled at my assertion roughly a year ago — when the term “post-pandemic” was used a lot more cautiously than it is now — that we should still be masking really won’t like this: We should still be wearing masks indoors, because the COVID-19 pandemic still rages. And, as a physician writing on The Times’ op-ed page makes clear, the Biden administration isn’t helping.

The numbers of new infections and hospital admissions are sobering: Wastewater data indicate that the JN.1 variant of COVID-19 is infecting about 2 million Americans every day, making this surge second in prevalence only to the Omicron wave that hit in 2021 and 2022. Thanks to vaccines, the Omicron peak was less deadly than the wave that hit in late 2020 and early 2021, when mask mandates and social distancing were still our primary weapons against COVID-19 and inoculation was only beginning.

Even though the Omicron wave for most people marks the beginning of the “living with this disease” phase of COVID — where we forgo mitigation and accept the risks of infection by a survivable virus — large groups of people fared worse than ever. You know who did really poorly? Cancer patients, who died at a higher rate than during any previous surge. With compromised immune systems, they benefit more from mitigation measures such as masking than vaccination, but by the time Omicron rolled around many of us had grown tired of covering our faces and keeping our distance.

For most people, the price of an Omicron infection was mild illness and possibly long COVID; for cancer patients, it was a higher likelihood of dying.

As for long COVID — when crippling symptoms persist for months or even years after infection — it’s hard to quantify the price to society from millions of people walking around with brain fog and fatigue for interminable periods, not to mention the increased risk of heart disease and stroke long after infection. Deciding to live with COVID doesn’t mean any of this goes away, if by “living with COVID” you mean refusing to wear a high-quality mask.

Writing on our op-ed page, Dr. Eric J. Topol — whose work communicating the risks of unfettered virus circulation I consider indispensable — reminds us of the damage this JN.1 surge does to people without fully functioning immune systems, and the need of the government to continue developing vaccines that deliver better protection from COVID variants. He ends his piece, appropriately, by criticizing the Biden administration’s complacency:

“It’s crickets from the White House on COVID now, with no messaging on getting the updated booster or masking. The Biden administration has done far too little to accelerate research on effective treatments for long COVID.

“This passivity reinforces the illusion that the pandemic is behind us when it’s actually raging. And this season will be followed by a more quiescent period, which will, once again, lull us into thinking the pandemic is over. But there is no getting over it until we recognize reality and double down on the research that will allow us to block infections and virus spread, and achieve lasting, variant-proof immunity.”

As we head towards this year's election, remember just how much pain and suffering Biden's inaction on covid has caused and continues to cause. There are several candidates running whose covid policy is light years away from Biden's. Vote for what you believe in, not out of fear. Do everything you can to make a better future instead of stifling better for maybe perhaps kinda not as bad (for you personally based on vibes).

[puckpocketed]

“First couple of practices he put Tiger Balm in my jock. Then he took my gear outside and threw it on the roof. And then he began to belittle me in front of my teammates, the coaches, whoever would listen to him. He’d make fun of my clothes, the way I spoke. He was two years older than me and a rising star, and he wielded his power over me like I was nothing — like I was subhuman.

If you’ve heard of me, you’ve heard of the hazing incident that took place that season. Thanks to this guy, that was the way I was introduced to the entire hockey world. I was the kid who wouldn’t go along with it. The kid who didn’t “get” the culture.

I dreamed of my parents reading in the paper back home about their son scoring a hat trick in his first game, or leading his team to the playoffs. Instead they had to hear about my refusal to strip naked and get in a bathroom in the back of the team bus with three other rookies. And, somehow, the whole issue was treated like some sort of discussion. I read headlines like, WAS WHAT HAPPENED TO AKIM ALIU WRONG?”

— Hockey Is Not For Everyone (2020), by Akim Aliu. READ HERE

“When Akim Aliu first told his story in 2020, my reaction was that he was soft and needed to toughen up. In my mind, he was a terrible team player and he sounded like an egotistical, cancerous presence. We all participated in the same initiations, we were all treated terribly by veteran players, and racism was just something that we normalized. I thought he was the issue; it was our job to conform to the norms of the hockey world. Varying from those norms, especially as a player of colour, was highly frowned upon. What’s said in the room stays in the room, and it appeared to me that Akim was breaking the hockey code wherever he went […]

In his letter, he remembered being told that he didn’t get the “culture” of hockey. I now realize that we never understood the word culture. We used the word as an excuse, or an alibi, to carry out these hideous acts on minors that had been a tradition for decades. The difference for me was that I looked the same as everyone else. I soon realized that I was the issue, not Akim. Throughout my career, I was complicit in this behaviour, and I never stood up to stop it. I was ignorant.”

- Conflicted Scars: An Average Player’s Journey To the NHL (2022), by Justin Davis.

[gumjrop]

The Weather

This week we see a sharp increase of COVID in all regions, likely due to increased travel around the recent holiday long weekend and dropping temperatures that bring a lot of gatherings indoors. As the holiday season continues, we remind our readers to use layers of protection — such as ventilation, air purification, masking with a KN95/N95 or better, and testing via PCR or NAAT or testing serially with rapid antigen tests — to protect themselves and their loved ones both during travel and at your holiday gatherings.  Repeat COVID infection has serious implications for everyone, not just the elderly or those with preexisting conditions. Even if you experience a mild case, COVID is a vascular disease that causes multiple organ damage, autoimmune conditions, inflammation and immune system dysregulation that you might not necessarily experience at the time of your infection. It’s important to note that if you or your loved ones have experienced previous COVID infections, you may have entered a high risk group for severe effects and hospitalization without realizing it.  Some people may feel worn down by the current state of the virus, by fatigue of lack of resources, or from the energy spent protecting one’s self from an infection; with increasing wastewater levels and the onset of a new dominant variant this week, now is really the crunch time to stay strong and endure. For those who have stopped precautions, we invite you to return to masking and other levels to minimize transmission. This is the most important time to return to masking to protect yourself and others.

The Current Wastewater Viral Activity Map shows viral activity by state. As of 12/02/23, many states are reporting “very high” to “high” COVID levels with 5 states reporting low levels. Seven states reported no data. The CDC currently rates our nationally reported COVID wastewater viral activity levels as “high”.

Levels are at an incline in all regions, but the Midwest takes a strong lead with a viral activity level of 10.94. This is a wastewater value that surpasses all readings for the Midwest in the past 2 years, and is the third highest of any reading since the onset of the Omicron variant in January of 2022 where we saw the highest levels of spread we have experienced in the entirety of the pandemic. Current Midwestern wastewater levels were surpassed only by a viral activity level of 13.02 in the South on 12/31/2022 and of 11.79 in the West on 07/02/2023. As with Biobot data, the most recent two weeks (indicated by gray shading on the graph) are subject to change due to reporting delays. As we enter the cold and flu season when many in-person gatherings are held, we encourage you to continue monitoring local reports for a more accurate measure of levels. Also, please continue to use and support others in using layers of protection. And as we continue to report on advocacy successes, remember that our actions and voices can enact change — this level of unchecked spread is unacceptable and we must demand better resources and protections from our policy makers!

Deaths

Percentage of total deaths in the US caused by COVID has risen 25% in the past week. Remember that these numbers are an undercount related to reporting delays in place since the Biden Administration ended the Public Health Emergency. Alarmingly, the current increase in deaths is large enough to show despite these changes.

COVID remains the third leading cause of death according to the CDC in the US. COVID is the highest single cause of death, only second to Heart Disease and Cancer which are both umbrella headings for more specific diseases. We mourn all those who have died due to COVID, and in that mourning, call you to take measures to prevent death and disablement for yourself, your loved ones, and your communities.

Ventilation and Air Filtration

Moving activities outdoors or ensuring your indoor setting has consistent fresh airflow is key to ensuring high quality ventilation. We recommend monitoring carbon dioxide levels and making adjustments as needed. Air filtration is important as well. If you’re looking for a HEPA air purifier or Corsi-Rosenthal Box for your family, it is important to get a filtration device that is powerful enough to change out the air for your particular room size. Clean Air Stars has created a free tool to calculate which filter could be right for you depending on the size of the rooms that you wish to clean and how many people will be attending your gathering.

Testing

Whether you are making the trip home or staying in one place this holiday season, with the current level of spread it is important to know your COVID status before engaging in social activity. Rapid antigen tests are designed to be “the most rapid” at telling those who are symptomatic whether the symptoms they are experiencing are or are not caused by COVID. If you are asymptomatic, presymptomatic, or less than 5 days out from your COVID exposure, using one single rapid test is not an effective way of determining whether or not a person is currently infected with and contagious with COVID. Persons using rapid antigen tests should take at least 2 rapid antigen tests 48 hours apart from one another and isolate in between, in order to avoid spreading their unconfirmed case as well as avoid exposure to COVID during this waiting period, which could produce a false test negative result. Persons who are experiencing COVID symptoms but test negative on an initial rapid antigen test also need to isolate themselves from others, assume they have COVID, and test again in 48 hours. Persons who are asymptomatic or pre-symptomatic who experience 2 negative serial tests must mask or isolate and wait a final 48 hours to test a third time in order to confirm a negative COVID case. For this reason, rapid antigen tests are only ideal to use in preparation for events where the user has a week prior available to test multiple times and isolate. FDA approved home Nucleic Acid Amplification Tests or NAATs are a more sensitive home test option, some brands of which have been found to, with only one test, verify both positive and negative results at 92.9% and 98.7% respective accuracy. NAATs can be a more sensitive, quicker option to use in preparation for events. Another more recent clinical trial found that performing a combined throat and nose sample increased sensitivity for healthcare worker and self-collected specimens. When testing at home with a rapid antigen test, it is worth it to take a combination sample like this one. To ensure the most sensitive results for both symptomatic and asymptomatic cases, get a PCR test. No-cost PCR testing sites that are available via the federal ICATT program can be found via this search tool. Remember to also check for regional offerings such as NYC’s COVID express test centers that test for COVID, RSV, FLU A and FLU B free of cost with results typically returned by end of day, that could be a more convenient option for you. PCR testing is the gold standard if you are making plans to be in a social setting.  If you do not have fast free PCR testing in your area, demand that it be made publicly available by the government at all levels!

Wins

Grassroots organizing group and “Mask Blocs” continue to take to social media encouraging Pro-Palestine protesters to continue to wear masks in their organizing spaces and during protests highlighting historic use of unrestricted and eugenic viral spread as a weapon of occupation and colonization. The National Institutes of Health’s Home Test to Treat program has upgraded its free test offerings and now instead of rapid antigen tests, will provide LUCIRA by Pfizer home NAAT tests can that effectively detect asymptomatic and pre-symptomatic COVID infections as well as Flu A and Flu B. Those who are uninsured or underinsured can sign up for this program to access free NAAT testing, telehealth services, and treatment medications for COVID and the Flu. If your household has not placed a new order for more rapid tests from the federal government through covidtests.gov, you can still place an order for 4 free rapid antigen tests here.    

Take Action

If you are out protesting this weekend or planning your trip home to visit family for the holidays, connect with your local COVID advocacy group to pick up high quality masks for yourself and to pass on to those around you. This Tuesday, December 12th, the director of the CDC and the American Medical Association are hosting a virtual fireside chat to discuss Fall & Winter Respiratory Virus Season (prior registration required). We encourage you to attend. You might ask the CDC why they aren’t ensuring precautions in healthcare settings? Or you could ask why they’re relying on a reactive, vaccine-only approach instead of layers of protection to proactively prevent COVID?

[she-karev]

Pregnancy Reveal (Andrew DeLuca x Alex Karev’s Sister)

Age Rating: 12+

Chapters: One of One

Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy

Ship: Andrew DeLuca x Amber Karev (Alex Karev’s Sister)

Canon Episode: Season 18 episode 19

AN: Hey guys I know I’ve been posting less and that’s because I started Fall classes so I’m super busy. I’ll try to post one shots for holidays and major events so here you go. Like and reblog below and let me know what you think.

Summary: Andrew and Amber get through the day they are supposed to donate blood as the residency program is reviewed. Before she donates Amber realizes she’s late and takes a pregnancy test.

Words: 3772

March 7th, 2022

Amber drives the car into the parking spot with her husband Andrew DeLuca in the passenger side yawning. She shares his exhaustion as they were both up late last night trying to get pregnant. At first the dates were fun and playful but then they both settled for plain quickies as their schedules have gotten crazier with the accreditation council review of the residency program pending. Having your job possibly taken away from you by a bunch of suits makes Amber want good news as soon as possible.

Andrew rubs his eyes, “Are you nervous?”

Amber blows a raspberry at that, “Well I might get fired from the job I have worked my whole life to get fair and square, there’s a nationwide physician shortage not to mention a blood shortage. On a scale of one to ten I’d say I’m at a 12 on the stress scale.”

Andrew holds her hand kissing her knuckles to comfort her, “There are other programs in Seattle or maybe we can look for some out of town. I’m an attending I can get any job I want, it’s the one perk to a physician shortage. Maybe NYU has some openings, it is your alma mater and your Cousin Jen lives there.”

Amber gags in disgust, “I hate New York. It’s stuffy, it’s filthy, the coffee is always burned, and we’ll be lucky to get a 2 bedroom that’s as large as our walk-in closet. It’s not a great place to raise a family. Trust me my cousin would agree with me.”

“Boston?” Andrew offers again, “Avery is running the foundation, and he loves you as much as Alex maybe he can call in a favor for both of us.”

“Right now, I just want to donate blood and not think about what happens if I lose my job. Also, I want to hang out with my good friends I haven’t seen in over a year, that’ll be a plus. It’s not a plus that he’s visiting because his mother’s cancer is back but I’m trying to find silver linings.”

“Better late than never.” Andrew jokes with a grin, “Well hey maybe after we donate blood, we can scurry off to the on-call room and try to get pregnant again.”

“If I have enough energy once I eat my cookie and orange juice, I’ll think about it. Maybe some coffee before will make me eager to try again. We should head inside before we’re late or Bailey is gonna kill us.”

“Yeah I’ll see you inside.”

Andrew and Amber exit the car and go their separate ways to their respective lounges with both tired due to not drinking coffee so they can donate blood. Link sees Andrew and walks by his side pushing his son Scout forward in his stroller.

“Morning.”

“Morning.” Andrew says tiredly.

“Wow you look wrecked, I guess you skipped coffee to donate too.” Andrew nods confirming, “Do you want to go to Vivace after and have expresso for brunch?”

“Oh, that sounds amazing.” Andrew says longing his caffeine, “I’m gonna need at least four shots, minimum and so is Amber.”

“Bad night of sleep for you guys?”

“No, we’re just still trying to get pregnant, it is exhausting.”

“Oh.” Link says sarcastically, “Well poor you having constant sex with your gorgeous wife. You should take a day off, take a break.”

Andrew chuckles lightly, “Okay fair enough but it turns out the fun of trying to have a baby diminishes with every attempt. I mean don’t get me wrong the sex is adequate it’s just the romance dies and all you want to do is just show up and get it over with.”

“So basically, you guys are already turning into parents?”

“Basically.” Andrew confirms before they go through the entrance.

Later

Amber walks down the hall to head to the resident’s lounge until a familiar voice calls out to her.

“Amber!” She turns to find the happy greeting coming from April Kepner who smiles at her before approaching her.

“Hey, wow look at you.” Amber is referring to April’s slight bump over her blouse showing off that she’s three months pregnant with her and Jackson’s third baby, “Is it cliché if I say your glowing?”

“I’ve only heard it about five times since I landed in the airstrip but if you have any other compliments I will take it.”

“Uh your well rounded with child.” April chuckles with her before they hug and pull apart after a moment, “Where’s the rest of the Avery Clan?”

“Jackson is with his mom and so is Harriet. Catherine wants to hear his eulogy for her funeral even though she is still kicking.”

“It sounds fun.” Amber says with a grin, “How’s the baby?”

April rubs her small bump, “He’s good, ultrasound is great, he’s extremely healthy on all the tests which to me is a god given miracle. If only I’d have another miracle and not experience the morning sickness and the tiredness and the crankiness that came with my last pregnancies.”

“Oof.” Amber exhales in sympathy, “I cannot imagine how I am gonna be for those nine months. I’d probably be an inspiration for the next horror film and Andrew would need a riot shield.”

“Any luck?”

“No not yet, we’re still in the conception phase.”

April grins mischievously, “Well it is the most romantic and fun phase.”

“Yeah not really.” Amber admits bluntly, “I mean don’t get me wrong he’s great and he takes care of me after it’s just that after a while the romance dies and I can’t stand to be around my husband.”

April snickers, “Your out of the honeymoon phase and you’re like every married couple I know. I gotta say it was about damn time because you two in eternal bliss was getting annoying especially to me.”

“I am gonna chalk that up to the hormones.” Amber checks the clock, “I’m sorry I really gotta get going, we’ll catch up later?”

“Yeah of course, maybe we can double date tonight, triple if Alex and Jo are in.”

“I’ll check with them and get back to you, bye.” Amber walks away from Jo and heads to the residency lounge to get ready for the day to donate blood before she hears about the fate of her career.

Later

Amber and Dahlia Qadri are standing in the corner of the pit filling out forms to donate blood. Both residents are stressed about the accreditation council visiting them and feel the task of donating might lessen it.

“You know a few months ago I would find donating blood a little bit scary.” Dahlia confesses as she writes down, “I mean it’s not the blood that scares me it’s the needle in my arm I’m afraid will pierce a nerve or an artery. I read this story 2 years ago about this woman who couldn’t feel her arm after donating blood. Apparently, the phlebotomist hit a major vein instead of the artery and now a 19-year-old can’t use one of her arms.”

“So what changed your mind?” Amber asks, busy filling out her form.

“Blood shortage from covid, and physician shortage not to mention the outdated guidelines that can easily be overruled allowing more people to donate but they can’t, so I have to step in. Plus, I might not need an arm to pick up a scalpel if the council shuts us down.”

Amber chuckles, “Wow and I thought I was dark. On the bright side if your vein is stabbed you might get more cookies and juice.”

“How are you so calm? I mean out of the two of us you would be the one to get strung out about losing their job. I’m not insulting it’s just from years of knowing you.”

“Yeah, and I would go over every scenario in my head of what the outcome of today will be but I’ve learned from years of therapy not to let my anxieties overcome me. Plus, I’m pretty busy in my personal life to focus on my professional. It turns out trying to have a baby is a great distraction from the turmoil of your life.”

Dahlia chuckles at that with Amber raising an eyebrow, “I’m sorry I am still trying to process the fact that you eagerly want to have kids. I mean intern year you could barely hold a baby without making it cry and you always referred to those tiny humans as Chestbursters like you were in some alien horror flick. But now your every kid’s favorite aunt, you declared peds a specialty and to top it off you actually want to get pregnant by choice. I mean you know what happens right?”

Amber rolls her eyes as her friend continues, “Theres the swollen ankles, no more six pack abs or beer, pickle cravings and you know what happens to your vagina at the nine-month mark right?”

Amber smiles at that, “Okay one I can get my six pack back, two I love pickles and three yes I know what happens during childbirth my friend and I will be there for it every step of the way. I have a strong pain threshold so I think I can handle birthing a child.”

“I’ll tell the residents to steer clear of your room, or as it will be called, the house of horrors.”

Amber chuckles before walking away with the clipboard to go to her husband who is leaning with his back at the wall out in the hallway. She sees him yawning as he writes down his information on the clipboard to donate.

She grins at him leaning back next to him against the wall, “Wow and I thought I was in rough shape.”

“Yeah, this is the longest I’ve ever gone without my coffee. I am eager for the needle in my arm because it’s less painful than how I feel right now.”

Amber pouts rubbing Andrew’s arm, “Well just think about your private reward in the on-call room right after, I have been told by many guys I am the best remedy.”

“What guys? How many are we talking?”

Amber chuckles at Andrew’s jealous tone, “Relax I just wanted to get your heartrate up so you don’t faint on me. How about I write down your information? I can read it a lot faster than you.”

Andrew knows this to be true due to Amber developing speed reading from her years hanging out at the public library. It’s a skill he wishes he had but for now is grateful that she does as he eagerly hands her his clipboard.

“Baby you are a godsend.”

“I know.” Amber smiles flattered taking the paper, she reads it and something catches her off guard, “Wait that’s the date? I thought it was the 2nd.”

“Nope it’s the 7th, you were working in the hospital for three days straight and went into a mini coma three days after.” He sees her eyes widen at that clicking her pen that he knows is her nervous tic, “Hey, what is it? What’s wrong?”

“…I’m late.”

“Late for what?” Amber glares at him making a quizzical you-know-what look that makes his eyes widen as he realizes she is talking about her period, “…Oh.”

Andrew is surprised at this sudden development standing there in the hallway looking at his wife whose glare turns to staring. Amber gulps at this news standing there with her husband who looks shocked as well, neither of them not knowing what to do at this very moment.

Later

“Okay I got a test and don’t worry nobody saw me.” Andrew tells Amber who is in the resident’s lounge sitting on the bench drinking her water bottle. He pulls the box out of his coat, “I figured you wanted this to be private until we get confirmation or not. It’s better to know before donating blood and harming the baby without knowing it.”

Amber nods and sips her water bottle with a stern face that Andrew knows too well, “What is it? What’s wrong?”

Amber chuckles darkly, “Uh let’s see there’s a blood shortage, a physician shortage, we’re hardly home because the backlogs insane, not to mention I might be out of a job. And that’s just off the top of my head of what is wrong.”

Andrew understands her argument but knows he needs to mend it, “We both agreed there’s never gonna be a good time to have a baby especially now but we decided to get pregnant anyway because we wanted a family.”

“I know.” Amber stands up and sighs, “I know we decided to have a baby and I do want one with you it’s just that the timing and everything. Curse the timing!”

“Everything is gonna be fine.” Andrew says soothing holding Amber by her shoulders as she keeps a frown, “The program is still being reviewed, as long as everything goes well your job is safe.”

“That is not reassuring me at all.” Amber retorts due to the hospitals bad luck, “Do you have any idea how expensive kids are? The diapers, the toys, the furniture, they practically come with their own economy crisis. If I lose my job we lose money for that and my kid will be just as nurtured as I was and that should freak you out!”

“Okay babe I need to remind you that this kid is not a daughter of a neglectful schizophrenic and abusive addict. She is ours, and regardless of what is happening we will be fine. We have savings and if you need to you will find a new job. The one upside to a physician shortage is that everyone is hiring doctors. No matter what happens if we are pregnant, we will give this baby a better childhood than the one you got. I promise okay?”

Amber inhales slowly feeling better after this speech knowing that its true. Even if the residency program shuts down her baby will still be better off than Amber ever was. She looks at the box in Andrew’s hands before taking it.

“Do you always have to be so perfect?”

Andrew chuckles lightly at that, “You call it perfect; I call it being a husband. So pee on the stick so we can get an answer once and for all.” Amber chugs her water before going to the bathroom to do as suggested.

The next five minutes pass by slowly for the couple who are still in the lounge waiting for the results. Amber is pacing the room back and forth tapping her phone nervously while Andrew is sitting at the bench looking at her in worry as a dark question blooms in his head that he blurts out.

“Are you having second thoughts?”

Amber pauses and faces her husband with a conflicted look, “I’ve convinced myself for years that I wasn’t or ever will be mom material. I mean you met my family so you saw how that environment made me scared I would repeat their mistakes…but you convinced me that we are not our parents. And if history serves you’ve been right on most occasions and hopefully on this one too.”

Andrew nods feeling better before Amber says something else, “But I am still terrified of what happens if that stick is positive.”

Andrew nods at that, “I share the same feeling trust me. I mean my father didn’t exactly give me any pointers on how to raise a family either.”

“Okay I’ll give you that one.” Amber inhales and exhales before shifting into peacemaker mode so Andrew can feel better, “But we’ll figure it out.”

“We will figure it out.” Andrew repeats just as the timer beeps in Amber’s hands. The couple look at each other nervous knowing what that means, “Results are in.”

Amber goes to the bathroom where she left the pregnancy test on the counter. She closes her eyes and takes a deep inhale before opening them. The two sticks on the test catch her off guard as she is aware of what this means. She picks up the stick and numbly walks over to Andrew who is sitting on the bench anxious looking up at her holding the stick up.

“I’m pregnant.”

Her husband looks frozen in shock for a moment before standing up and grabbing the stick to confirm it in front of his eyes. He looks at her with wide eyes that she shares as the news is still daunting to her.

A grin starts to form on his face as the shock dies and joy enters, “We’re having a baby?”

Amber begins to grin as well. A part of her was worried she would feel regret once she was positive but instead she feels happy to finally have a family with the man she loves. She is finally overcoming her fear and being the mother she never had.

“We’re having a baby.” Amber confirms with a smile that Andrew shares before hugging her tightly laughing in joy. Amber laughs at his reaction hugging him back, “Okay as adorable as this is I don’t have to tell you squeezing me isn’t good for my current state.”

“Right sorry.” He immediately pulls back still holding her by her hips, “I’m just…overjoyed. I mean to do this with you, it’s everything I never knew I wanted.”

Amber grins tenderly at him gripping his shoulder, “Me too.”

That Night

“Kids are playing, I promised them if they behaved, they would each get two scoops of ice cream so I hope your packing.” April tells the gang in Alex and Jo’s kitchen where they are eating from a charcuterie board and drinking wine.

Alex and Jo are sitting at the table across from Amber and Andrew with the young resident reeling from the news that the residency program was shut down effective immediately. Maya Bishop and her wife Carina DeLuca are also in the room sitting on the barstools by the counter after Andrew invites them over to celebrate once news of Carina’s citizenship came through.

Alex answers April, “We got enough ice cream to feed a party so I think we’re good. As long as your husband got us some of his expensive whiskey.”

“It’s scotch actually.”

Jackson is by the counter untying himself feeling suffocated in the suit before pouring himself a glass of whiskey he brought from Boston feeling like they would have a reason to drink. He upcaps the bottle sniffing the rich aroma from the cap.

“Ah notes of baked apple, oak and despair. Perfect.” He pours himself a glass before pouring two glasses and hands them to the Bishop-DeLuca’s who gladly take them.

“Congrats on the green card, news like that deserves good scotch so this is my gift to you.”

Maya chuckles looking at the drink skeptical, “There’s good scotch?”

“With Avery there is because unlike the rest of us mortals he can afford it.” Amber answers with a mocking grin.

“I missed you too buddy.” Jackson responds back to his good friend before sipping his drink, “And sorry that I couldn’t save the program. I would have gotten you a whole case of expensive whiskey of your choice but even I have a budget.”

Amber sighs, “You know what it’s fine, I’m healthy, I’m alive and the world didn’t blow up. Despite what happened I would call that a win.”

April looks at her friend sympathetic, “Well don’t worry Jackson is gonna help with restarting the program, same with Meredith and Bailey when she gets back from sabbatical.”

“And I’ll help too.” Alex states, “This program deserves better than to be shut down by someone who spent only one day observing it.”

“Amen.” Jackson agrees as he feels fond of his residential years, “So what are you gonna do with yourself until then? Maybe I can pull strings and get you into Seattle Pres.”

“Or you can join me and Carina in OB.” Jo offers as well with a grin, “I know it’s not ideal, but it might just bring you some joy like it brought me joy too.”

Amber grins at them trying to cheer her up, “Um I don’t know I’m still debating whether I should volunteer at the stations clinic tomorrow or go to one of those places where you pay to smash stuff with a hammer.”

“I tried that it doesn’t work.” April states causing the Karev’s to look at her startled that a sweet person like her would go to a rage room, “What? You’re not the only ones who feel unbridled fury at the world and it’s broken systems.”

“Remind me not to piss you off again.” Alex jokes before turning to Maya and Carina, “Congratulations on being an official citizen of this messed up country. At least one good thing happened today.”

“Thank you.” Maya says sipping her drink with Carina, “It would be better if the pregnancy test was positive but at least my wife can stay in this country long enough for us to try again.”

Andrew and Amber hold hands at this news knowing how much Maya and Carina want a baby. They also cherish the little life that is now growing inside Amber hoping that being aunts will fill the void of longing parenthood for the couple somehow.

“That’s right.” Carina sips her drink as well taken back by the rich liquor, “Wow that is good.”

“Yep.” Jackson pours another glass and holds it out to Amber who is sitting at the booth next to Andrew, “Here it’s the perfect drink for celebrating becoming legal citizens and dwelling on unemployment come on.”

Amber immediately shakes her head, “Nope I can’t.”

“Come on it’s your favorite, if there’s one thing, I’m good for it’s expensive alcohol I think we both agree to that.”

“I can’t drink because I am pregnant.” Amber confesses with a smile while Andrew grins behind her at the shocked faces of the others. Soon they are met with smiles and joyful laughs especially from Maya and Carina who congratulate them along with Alex and Jo. April hugs Amber congratulating her sharing the feeling as she is also pregnant with Jackson’s child.

Jackson chuckles delighted by this news shaking Andrew’s hand and kissing Amber’s cheek happy that his best friend is pregnant like she wanted. He turns back to April kissing her and caressing her 3 month pregnant belly that she welcomes holding his hand while he does.

Amber and Andrew are sitting at the table flattered by the attention as they hold hands and enjoy this moment excited to start this next chapter in their lives.

[floatingcatacombs]

Bandai Taketh Away

12 Days of Aniblogging 2023, Day 1

Last year I wrote a post extolling the virtues of Birdie Wing, 2022’s breakthrough “how the fuck did this get made” mafia golf campfest. It’s the little show that could, animated on a shoestring budget to an audience of maybe two dozen extremely online yuri fans who tried their hardest to get literally anyone else to watch it.

It was almost certainly a financial failure for Bandai Namco, whose hopes for kicking off a VR-focused franchise fizzled in real time during season 1. But the resulting anime was a blast, a shoujo sports melodrama where literally anything could happen.

Birdie Wing took a few seasons off between its cours, during which Bandai Namco’s second lesbian anime of the year began airing: Mobile Suit Gundam: The Witch from Mercury. My jaw dropped as I watched the first episode recreate Utena’s setup beat for beat, including the female main character taking another girl as her fiancé. It’s a gutsy move which set my expectations high. G-Witch was my introduction to Gundam, and the highs of the first season were amazing. Even if I had some occasional complaints with the pacing, the cliffhanger ending and narrative ambition left me very excited for more.  

Season 2 of Birdie Wing was set to fill the gap between cours of G-Witch, but ~something~ happened behind the scenes. It ended up being delayed to Spring 2023, where the two shows would air together. Great! That means double the lesbians. Or…zero?

Fair warning: From here on out I will be both a hater, and a spoiler.

Both seasons start without a hitch. G-Witch finally pops the safety bubble of its setting, with a terrorist attack on the academy followed up by an episode from the viewpoint of Dawn of Fold soldiers trying to survive a retaliatory crackdown from the Spacians. It pulled no punches with its violence and war orphans and trauma, a good sign for the struggles that awaited the main cast. Meanwhile, Birdie Wing continued to pay tribute to old-school Class S after its boarding school arc by involving its cast in a nightmare incest soap opera concerning Eve and Aoi’s parentage and the sins of the previous generation. Both are great developments for their respective shows, suggesting plenty of good stuff ahead.

Unfortunately, this is when both of these shows begin to fall apart. Eve and Aoi manage to beat the incest allegations, but afterwards their relationship just…stops. Their chemistry all but dissipates, the homoerotic rivalry giving way to their personal relationships with golf instead of with each other. The plot keeps the two of them apart as much as possible, devoid of the angsty longing from season 1, as the girls each succumb to a different form of golf cancer (even without the gay-baiting, at least Birdie Wing is still insane).

For G-Witch, a much more ambitious anime, this decline manifests as a creeping realization that they’re simply going to drop most of the open plot threads. The show takes its sweet time, even as it becomes clear that it’s barreling towards a finale at 24 episodes. The long-awaited plot twists are handled fine, I guess. But any sense that the show is aiming for greatness fades away, as it simply tries to drag itself to the finish line, buckling under its own weight. What we see on screen is what we get, and you’ll have to fill in the blanks yourself to really be happy. The Earthian-Spacian conflict ends up as mere set-dressing, and characters who clearly had intertwined backstories never even get the chance to interact. The obvious examples are the man who killed Suletta’s dad in the prologue resurfacing and that never really coming up, and everything to do with Chuchu and Nika’s backstories. I’m not here to nitpick, but it’s a shame that everyone’s characterization is left so thin. G-Witch really feels like it was meant to be a full 50-episode series, and I’m led to believe that this trimming down happened during production, as there’s just no other reason to set so much up without resolving it.

At last we reach each show's conclusion. Birdie Wing is saddled with a final arc full of professional tournaments, which is always going to be weaker than the dirty mafia golf on a conceptual level. The timeline begins to rapidly accelerate and suddenly we’re skipping ahead months, and then entire years. We don’t get to see most of Eve and Aoi’s final game, or even the period of time where they reconcile. An enduring friendship and rivalry is implied at the end, but it’s nowhere near the mutual obsession that the prior season depicted. Not an ounce of queerbait remains, even for the terminally yurigoggled such as myself.

Meanwhile, G-Witch dedicates some of its precious final minutes to a fight with Lauda (Jesus Christ is the Schwartzette is wasted on him), and just like Birdie Wing the two girls at the heart of the show barely get any time together as the end draws near. They ultimately opt for a Macross-Symphogear ending in which Suletta pilots a Gundam that shoots gay rainbow lasers and defeats her mom with the power of love and friendship. That’s fine! But that’s the ending for a show that didn’t happen! In its last act G-Witch retreats into its shell, unable to commit to the moral weight of the world it had built up. Laughably, the epilogue time-skips to a neoliberal utopia where Miorine solves the earth-space conflict through her sheer girlboss acumen. Suletta and Miorine’s gay wedding is implied at best, and an after-credits message states that this is the conclusion of The Witch from Mercury as a story, prematurely killing any potential follow-up.

The rest is history. Kadokawa redacts an interview to remove references to Suletta and Miorine being married, Bandai releases a statement that their status at the end of the show should be left up to interpretation, and everyone is mad forever.

What happened? Both of these shows fell apart at the same time, and both in a manner that defused their implicit queerness. Birdie Wing was always a bit of a trainwreck even at its best, so in a vacuum I would have just concluded that the production ran out of steam, unable to live up to its earlier writing. But the timing of Season 2’s delay, combined with the corporate meddling that affected G-Witch, makes me downright conspiratorial. Something went down at Bandai Namco, and it led to them ordering their productions be revised halfway through to scrub out all the gay shit and play things safe. I wouldn’t be surprised if this occurred at the same time as G-Witch was trimmed down from its initial 50 to 24 episodes with no chance of a continuation. It’s also not too much of a stretch to imagine Birdie Wing receiving a “stick to sports" mandate and Yosuke Kuroda subsequently phoning it in. I don't know how else to say it: there's no reason to do an incest fakeout if you're not even going to follow up on it afterwards once you've gone through the difficult work of exonerating them.

Witch from Mercury was a commercial success (it sold a shitton of gunpla, at least!) so it seems like a surprise that Bandai Namco would clamp down creatively in such a destructive way. Or maybe not. This may be the first female-led Gundam, but in a lot of other ways it’s fairly restrained as far as Gundams go. Perhaps BN decided that G-Witch had to be a balancing act to please everyone, preventing the creative staff from truly swinging for the fences in the end. Of course, that backfired horribly and they ended up pissing off himejoshis and regular mecha fans alike. I know it’s something of a fool’s errand to expect undeniable LGBT representation from anime, but when you begin with an explicit Utena homage, I expect better.

This has all been a bit of a downer, so I wanted to end things by sharing the anime I watched this year that actually gave me what I wanted out of those two shows.

Watching through the original Mobile Suit Gundam made me realize just how conservative G-Witch is in a lot of its storytelling. 0079 is a deeply radical show for its time, and still would be if you made it today. The unhesitating depiction of war and death through the aesthetics of a 70’s children’s show is particularly bold, and even the parts of the anime notorious for being overlong successfully reinforce the overall mood of the work. Amuro’s transformation from innocent child to unrelenting psychic soldier is as inevitable and upsetting as it should be, and even with all the “filler” the script feels much tighter than the G-Witch, which ambles around with side stories that don’t resolve and characters that don’t go anywhere. Imminently watchable. I love that the mommy issues in Gundam go all the way back, and I'm also starting to understand why you fuckers have been arguing about Char Aznable for 40 years.

you.

I also watched Kakegurui this year, which served as a great alternative to Birdie Wing. It doubles down on the best parts of that show – mostly-female cast, high stakes gambling, dubious lesbian rep – with an all-consuming sleaze to it. Grab some friends who aren't easily scandalized and try not to worry too hard about gaze or the intended audience, and it will be a hoot. The production values are great, even if most of it inevitably goes to girls making upsetting faces. The first opening in particular is an animation highlight. Of course, this is a MAPPA production, so they’re far too busy flaying their workers alive in the pits of hell to ever get around to another season. May their company unionize or perish.

[squirrellypoo]

The coffin dent - fight or fuck?

Near the start of episode 7 (just after the encyclopedia salesman/blood cancer deaths), there's an overhead shot of the coffin room where Louis' coffin is very clearly dented. There is no explanation for this given in season 1, though considering the amount of practical effort that went into creating a second prop, there must be a reason for this.

But let's back-track to when we last saw the coffin with an undented lid, in episode 5, just after Claudia leaves home.

It's hard to see here as the lid is open, but as it closes you can see it's pristine.

The next time we see it is post-reunion in episode 6, just after the scene with Antoinette's finger.

I've brightened up my screencap here to better see the dent.

So this means that whatever caused the dent occurred in the latter half of episode 5, or the first half of episode 6. Which doesn't really nail down the time period at all, considering this covered most of the 1920s and 1930s.

Let's zoom in on the dent and see what we can determine...

It looks to me to be two forearms crossed and pressed into the coffin lid, with other contact happening behind the arms. This could result from either someone being grabbed from behind, or grabbed from behind, if you know what I mean… 😏

Most people seem to think it's related to whatever the hell happened off-screen in the coffin room during the fight in episode 5, but the indentation also matches the pose from levitating sex in episode 1…

We know the show creators have said that the events of episode 5 will be revisited in season 2, so with a bit of luck we may find out the cause afterall. What do you think?

[occasionalincorrectquotes]

Cells at work manga masterlist

(Fun Fact did you know: Cells at Work has a 2nd season, and although there will be no more new episodes, spinoffs are constantly releasing, so you can still enjoy fresh new cell content even now!)

✓: Completed

*: ongoing

X: not officially translated as of November 2022

Cells at Work (the original) ✓

Cells at Work: Code Black ✓

Platelets at Work ✓

Cells at Work and Friends ✓

Cells at work Baby ✓

Bacteria at Work ✓

Cells Not at Work ✓

Cells at Work Lady ✓ X

White Blood Cells at Work / Cells at Work White Brigade ✓

Cells at Work Illegal * X

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't know what to read/start with? Recommendations and trigger warnings under the cut!

Cells at Work (The original manga): A nice series that teaches you the basics of cells, mostly immune cells but they do include some gut immunity in the 2nd season, filled with a nice balance of angst and fluff, includes a prominent ship although it isn't the main point of the series and they don't actually say out loud if they like each other romantically or anything.

TWs: Includes a lot of blood, slicing of knives/violence in general, cancer (anthropomorphized, but they do say the word a lot of course), violently biting things until they gush out blood/whatever they're made from

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells at Work: Code Black: An angsty series, a lot of sadness in general, although it looks like a gender swap of the original, the contents are also very opposite to the original. This series takes place in a different host body. Not fluffy, bad work environments, cells suffering in general. If you love seeing little fictional people suffering or want a reason to take better care of your body, this is the series for you!

TWs: Blood, violence, actual bazookas/guns, nsfw topics like unsafe sex and others, major and minor character deaths, drug mention both beneficial and unbeneficial, attempted suicide, ACTUAL suicide, depression, cancer

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Platelets at Work: A very nice and fluffy series about the children of Cells at Work, takes place in the body of the original CaW manga, features the platelet team we all love and their master Megakaryocyte. It's a very nice slice of life series that talks about the platelets doing their best and being children, very cute 10/10.

TWs: Tbh, I'm not sure, maybe i can reread it and see, but i don't think there's anything worth a warning.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells at Work and Friends: My personal favorite, features a Killer T cell with social anxiety as it's protagonist. A great slice of life that doesn't have much about education of biology. A lot of misunderstandings, a lot of funny and relatable moments, I'm sure all of us can relate to at least 1 of the chapters.

TWs: Blood, slicing and dicing and violence, eating and dead bacteria/viruses that would usually be very gorey are censored, depression and suicide mention (from one specific character, you can avoid him if you like and still enjoy the series), sewing needles on specific chapters, mention of nsfw

Reply if you'd want me to reference which chapters have the trigger so you can avoid it while still enjoying most of it

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells at Work Baby: Much like the original, featuring 2 red blood cells as the main character instead of a white blood cell, just as educational as the original and all the characters are in a cute chibi style.

TWs: Blood, slicing, a little violence but it isn't as bad as the original, character death

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Bacteria At Work: I have yet to read this fully, but i have read the first chapter, full of pretty men and talks about gut bacteria and dietary stuff.

TWs: Unknown (to me)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells NOT At Work: More of a slice of life compared to the original, it is quite educational on the development of red blood cells. Real LGBT rep, a wide range of characters and dynamics, made me very emotional, though i haven't read the last volume.

TWs: Mention of death/character death, and maybe slicing and killing in the last volume

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells At Work Lady: Because this manga has yet to be translated officially, i have yet to read it, but it talks about the anatomy of women, from periods to pregnancy, there is quite a lot. They also include pretty men!

TWs: NSFW mention, slicing and dicing of various things, potentially more that i am unaware of.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cells At Work Illegal: Lastest CaW manga spinoff to be released as of writing, the name speaks for itself. Usage of drugs, smoking, drinking, and potentially many more. It is untranslated, so I cannot truly understand what it is about, but thats the gist of it. Also the main characters might be potentially a little gay

TWs: Drug usage, a lot of slicing and dicing and blood, NSFW (not just mention I'm pretty sure)

[katseye-daily]

Meet KATSEYE*

The HybexGeffen global girl group Katseye (cat’s-eye) will debut in 2024 with a Netflix documentary releasing that summer! Learn more about the members here <3 Who’s your bias?

~

Name: Sophia

Country: Philippines

Age: 20

MBTI: ENFP

Zodiac: Capricorn

About: She can speak English and Tagalog.

– She is Christian.

– Her nicknames are Sophie, Fifi, and Sopheezy.

– Sophia has a chow dog named Charlie.

– Her mother is Carla Guevara Laforteza; a singer and actress.

– She graduated from high school in 2021.

– Sophia is a fan of BTS and her bias and role model is V. (Elle Korea)

– BTS are the reason she applied to the audition in the first place.

– Sophia is also a fan of ENHYPEN and Jungwon.

– Her role model is LE SSERAFIM‘s Huh Yunjin. (Weverse, IG)

– She appeared in a 2022 episode of Family Feud Phillipines.

– 3 words that describe Sophia: Hysterical, caring, and diligent.

– She is the chef of the group

Name: Lara

Country: USA

Age: 18

MBTI: ESTP-A

Zodiac: Scorpio

About: Lara is from Los Angeles, USA.

– She can speak English and Tamil.

– Lara is ethnically Indian.

– Her nickname is Laru.

– She produces music.

– Lara enjoys fashion alot.

– She was featured in the video for Michelle Obama’s Global Girls Alliance campaign.

– Her role models are NI-KI of ENHYPEN and Jimin of BTS. She has stated that their dancing and elegance gives her the most inspiration. (Weverse Interview)

– Lara would like to collaborate with Rihanna, Britney Spears, Timbaland, BTS’s Jimin, Pharrell Williams, and M.I.A.

– 3 words that describe Lara: Passionate, confident, and real.

Name: Yoonchae

Country: South Korea

Age: 15

MBTI: ESTP

Zodiac: Sagittarius

About: Her nicknames are 브루니 (Bruni), 마시멜로우 (Marshmallow), and 정육면체 (Cube).

– Yoonchae speaks Korean and basic English.

– She passed the auditions for CJ E&M in 2020.

– Her role models are Jennie of BLACKPINK and BTS.

– Yoonchae has mentioned that BTS are the reason she got into K-Pop and got inspired to pursue K-Pop.

– 3 words that describe Yoonchae: Sexy, cute, and innocent.

Name: Daniela

Country: USA

Age: 19

MBTI: ENFJ-A

Zodiac: Cancer

About: Daniela is from Atlanta, Georgia, and Los Angeles, California, USA.

– She can speak English and Spanish.

– Her nickname is Dani.

– Daniela is ethnically Venezuelan and Cuban.

– She is a ballroom dancer.

– She is a model and actress for many commercials.

– Daniela is a huge fan of Carti and Lil Uzi Vert. (TikTok)

– Daniela earned 10th place in the 13th season of So You Think You Can Dance?.

– She auditioned for the eighth season of America’s Got Talent with a dance act but was eliminated during the Vegas Rounds.

– Daniela placed 2nd in the international competition show Super Kids Europe.

– She appeared in Matty B‘s music video for his song “Dramatic“.

– She made an appearance on the Queen Latifah Show as part of an America’s Most Talented kids segment.

– 3 words that describe Daniela: Affectionate, charismatic, and determined.

– Daniela can do these type of dances: Afro-Cuban, Afro-style dance, cha-cha-cha, and salsa.

– She would love to collaborate with Beyoncé, Shakira, Rosalía, Rihanna, TXT, BTS, Doja Cat, and Playboi Carti.

Name: Megan

Country: USA

Age: 17

MBTI: ISTP

Zodiac: Aquarius

About: Megan is from Honolulu, Hawaii.

– She is ethnically Chinese, Singaporean, and White.

– Megan speaks English, basic Cantonese and basic French.

– Her middle name, Meiyok (美 玉), is also her nickname and Chinese name.

– Her role models are BLACKPINK‘s Jennie and Jimin of BTS. (Weverse)

– She is a runway and fashion model and has participated in Paris and LA’s fashion week for high fashion couture.

– 3 words that describe Megan: Intriguing, fun, and caring.

– She would like to collaborate with Beyoncé, Lana Del Rey, Danja, Billie Eilish, BLACKPINK, Olivia Rodrigo, and Drake.

Name: Manon

Country: Switzerland

Age: 21

MBTI: ENFJ

Zodiac: Cancer

About: She was born in Zürich, Switzerland.

– Her mom is Swiss-Italian and her dad is from Ghana.

– Manon can speak Swiss-German (first language), German, English and a little bit of French.

– She is a photography model.

– Her nickname is Manz.

– She is a fan of Billie Eilish.

– Her role model is Beyoncé. (Dream Academy TikTok)

– She enjoys travelling.

– 3 words that describe Manon: Cool, kind, and non-judgmental.

– She has been a songwriter since she was 5 years old.

*Member information from Kprofiles