#canadian bags brands

[lori11hen2ry]

Canadian Bags Brands

Renowned for their craftsmanship, the Canadian Bag Company produces robust and stylish bags, perfect for both daily commutes and adventurous travels.

[sylviacox]

Tea - The Best Lemon Iced Tea This is the best lemon iced tea ever. It comes very close to the Good Host brand Canadians are used to.

[gliderofgold]

Drinks - The Best Lemon Iced Tea This is the best lemon iced tea ever. It comes very close to the Good Host brand Canadians are used to.

[revolverfilm]

The Best Lemon Iced Tea The best lemon iced tea I've ever had is this. It remarkably resembles the Good Host brand that Canadians are accustomed to.

[sammaggs]

1x02 Diefenbaker’s Day Off // 2x08 One Good Man // 2x13 White Men Can’t Jump to Conclusions // 3x01 Burning Down the House | Normalized

due South does a main character re-casting better than any other show on TV, and they do it by playing with television's own accepted meta-narrative.

Recasting a character has a long tradition in television, creating a viewership that knows and understands the storytelling short form at play. As viewers, we realize that sometimes actors aren't available to reprise a role (or simply aren't interested in it anymore); but, for the sake of the story, sometimes the show needs that character to come back. So we lean hard into suspended disbelief and just go with it. After all, the characters in the show accept the parareality of it—why shouldn't we?

Of course, the most famous example of a character recast would be the Dick/Darren disaster on 1960s sitcom Bewitched, when Dick York was unceremoniously replaced by Dick Sargent in the role of Darrin Stephens. ("The Dick Wars" would have gone absolutely insane).

it was... not successful

But they weren't the only ones to do it. Aunt Viv from Fresh Prince, Becky from Roseanne, Daario Naharis from Game of Thrones, Greg Serrano from Crazy Ex-Girlfriend (pain, agony)—recasting characters but maintaining the fiction is a storied tradition in TV. New actor, same character; totally normalized.

And shows continue to do it, even today, with a—uh—similar dedication to fucking it up doing it poorly.

why must we be punished like this

due South even engages in this trope itself in season 2, when hard-hitting investigative journalist Mackenzie King is recast and they don't even try to find an actress who looks similar. In 1x02 Diefenbaker's Day Off, she's played by brunette Madolyn Smith-Osborne; in 2x08 One Good Man, she's been replaced by blonde Maria Bello, and nobody talks about it.

yeah i'm absolutely the same person, obviously

Everyone diegetically (within the world of the show) is just like, oh yeah, that's hard-hitting investigative journalist Mackenzie King. Totally. Only non-diegetically (outside of the world of the show) does the viewer go "No, that's not the same person." Internally, the fiction proceeds as usual.

So what would happen if, say, Samantha Stephens turned to Dick Sargent and said "You're not Darrin," when everyone else in the show continued to treat him as though he was? Or if Jaskier told Geralt that he knows he's not actually Geralt, and everyone treated him like he was delusional?

Or if Fraser, even, had recognized Mackenzie King as someone entirely different, and everyone treated him like he had a hole in his bag of marbles because of it? Of course that's Mackenzie King; even her boss knows it. No, she's never been a brunette. What are you talking about?

And that's exactly what happens in Burning Down the House.

the rays vecchio

Diagetically, everyone else treats Callum Keith Rennie's character as though he is Ray Vecchio. "Oh, good, you found him," says Det. Huey. Elaine, Franchesca, literally everyone else both at the station and outside of it treat Callum Keith Rennie Ray Vecchio as though he is David Marciano Ray Vecchio. They're acting exactly as any other TV character would in the face of a recasting: as though absolutely nothing had happened.

Except for Fraser.

Fraser's specific brand of parareal Canadian plot magic means that he's immune to the recasting blindness; he's acting as an agent of the viewer, voicing our non-diegetic concerns. Fraser is (as he so often is) a character with one foot outside of the narrative. He's just always been like this and he doesn't know why.

oh this man is infuriating and hot, fuck. shit.

And for a character who already thinks he is likely insane (he sees the ghost of his dead father! He communicates with his deaf half-wolf! He is instantly committed to a mental institution upon voicing the actual true story of his life!), this is very extremely distressing. Fraser thinks he's actually lost it this time, because everyone else in due South is acting like a TV character, and Benton Fraser is acting like a viewer.

This is so brilliant on so many levels. They just fully lampshade the damn thing. It allows our protagonist to speak for disgruntled or confused viewers. It engages at a postmodern level with television as a medium with a storied history (and due South is incredibly postmodern; nearly every episode is or contains a reference to another piece of media). It's written from the perspective of someone who loves and is knowledgeable about TV tropes.

And it gives us an entirely new Ray while still maintaining respect and loyalty to the original, something no other straight (lol) recast could ever do.

Genuinely one of the most clever, witty, well-crafted hours of television ever made. I could write essays about so many different parts of it. And I guess I will!!!!!!

It’s Burning Down the House week in our dS Stacked Rewatch!

[dahfloofysmol]

HELLO. This is the official post for YouTube kids’ surprise party on the 27th of March. Any and all gimmick blogs welcomed!

Some roles we need are:

-DJ [real-pollo-campero]

-great DJ (as per requested 🤨) [spotify-kids-real]

-video jockey [buildabearfr]

-Someone to make the cake [forever21-official]

-Puncher server [big-mayo-official]

-Decorator [barns-and-noble-official]

-Party crasher(s) [officialtinder and youtubefr and actually-kroger]

-Corner Person [Pinterest, yahooo-official, reallytimhortons]

-Person who’s dealing with a crazy sugar high [firewaysubs and zotap]

-Emotional support [walmart and def-bjs-guys]

-Mom [Krista the art program and Canadian tire] AND dad friend

-Birthday person IS taken (obviously lol)

-Someone to bring snacks [incognito-mode-official]

-Ring Leader (person in charge of the games) [totally-official-yahoo]

-person who performs a special but confusing (and overly translated) version of happy birthday [google translate ]

-piñata [firehouse-subs-fr]

-setting off fireworks [google-news-official]

-here for the food and bringing tWO DOGS!!! OMG DOGS!!!!! [swearification-and-cursing]

-person currently trying tO EAT THE CAKE!! STOP THAT!!! [shakespeare-official-account]

- stopping the Cake Eater [wow-google-maps]

- putting spiders (?????) under the cake [true-blue-straya]

- the person that is every bisexuals awakening [it’s-target-official]

-pops in for the last 5 minutes with a card + a store bought cake [the-real-google]

- gay wine uncle [the-McDonald’s]

- creepy uncle (???) [rick-e-chedder-official]

-single rich aunt who disappears every night at specifically 8:00 pm [totally-not-kraft-mac-and-cheese]

-shapeshifts between wine aunt and vodka uncle, and the comic relief [the-one-and-only-duckduckgo]

- bringing lights so we aren’t all dancing in the dark [real-vivaldi-browser]

- summoning Satan under the table with a bottle of whiskey and pancakes (??????????) [definitely-canada]

-person asking weirdly specific and absurd questions [actual-aspec-military]

-the COOLEST cousin [support-speaks]

-cousin who hangs out in the corner and looks like they know something you dont [the-official-publix]

-person who hits on everyone at the party even though they’re already dating 2 ppl [fr-winn-dixie]

-contributes Ziploc® bags [totally-scjohnson]

-bringing burritos [the-real-chipotle]

-YouTube's kids southern aunt who blesses everyone's hearts bc they think theyre dumb most of the time [i-bless-your-heart]

-middle school cousin who argues with anyone and everyone to look cool [wallyworld-the-unofficial]

-gives oil (?????????????) and branded pens as party favors [truly-jcjenson]

-the strange neighbor kid who talks to no one but sings the loudest and brings a weird yet tasteful gift [the-real-aperture-science]

-bringing Walmart sugar cookies [not-really-discord]

-guy bringing the Knives [wheatley-labs-official]

-joining in on the games [totally-official-yahoo]

-the disco ball [jollibee-real]

-that one uncle with lore of untold numbers of deaths involved, and that includes guns [partycityistotallyofficailguy]

And any other role I haven’t stated!! I’ll accept pretty much anything

In case what you pick is already chosen, tag your second option ;p

—>The biggest part of the surprise party is wishing YouTube kids a happy birthday, but in the most creative way possible. In the “ask me” works, but literally anywhere; on your blog or on a post from anywhere (that you know they’d be okay with a little shenanigans) works wonderfully.

->Also, saying happy birthday is awesome, but spicing it up would be more fun!!! Day Of Birth, One of Awakening, Oh Child of the 27th, and any other batshit way to say “happy birthday” would both be awesome and absolutely hilarious.

Again, invite any and all gimmick blogs, and feel free to let me know what you’d want to do! We attack on the 27th >:DD

ADDITIONAL NOTE: sometimes there will be more than one person in each role! I do actively encourage for people to come up with silly and niche roles if you think of one ;D

ON THE 24th I WILL NO LONGER TAKE ROLLS!!!! Spread the word please!

@barnes-and-noble-official @basically-bumble @totallyofficialtacobell @totally-official-yahoo @totally-bing @officialtinder @officially-google-translate @officially-ikea @official-fedex @incognito-mode-official @forever21-offical @officialkfc @kfc-official @k-f-c-official @life360-i-swear @xgames-blog @cars-official @big-mayo-official @bingle-official @the-real-google @the-real-firefox @nasa @wow-google-maps @wallyworld-the-unofficial @walmart-the-official @realgoogleslides @realgoogledocs @yahooo-official @unfortunate-wattpad @firewaysubs @firefox-official @pinterest-real @spotify-kids-real @duothelingo @definitely-wikipedia @firehouse-subs-fr @google-2point0 @gimmick-thief

[scrollonso]

Sharing

A Strollonso AU where the daughter of a Canadian billionare and her friend are hired by Renault to bring attention to the teams 2nd driver. What'll happen when the girls gain the attention of more than just the media? (4k words, whore fernando, emotional lance) [@roostersrocket] {this was supposed to be a oneshot but... pt2 soon}

Lance sat in the back of the car her father sent, Esteban digging through her bag to find her concealer as their chauffeur drove at a steady pace.

"Putain, where is it?" Esteban muttered, running a hand through her hair as the other dug through the sky blue bag on the floor of the backseat

"What's wrong, Estie?" Lance asked, glancing at her friend as she curled her eyelashes

"Do you have concealer? I think I left mine at the hotel"

"Yeah" She hummed, Lance handing the girl her own makeup bag "It should be your colour"

"Thank you, Lance, I'd be dead without you" Esteban said, taking out what she needed before putting the bag back next to Lance's pale thigh

After what felt like ages they arrived at the Imola Circuit, Lance stepping out to fix her clothes, knowing the odd material was messed up after the long car ride.

She had on a white tube top with the teams logo plastered right over her tits, a halter-top like jacket on over it. She propped one leg up on the side of the car as she unrolled her shorts, tucking the back of them back under the belt with a Renault branded buckle on it

"Lance, does my ass look okay?" Esteban called from the other side of the car, the Canadian looking up from her legs to see Esteban turned around at the other side of the vehicle, the yellow "2" on the left pocket of her shorts making it impossible to notice if her ass looked bad.

"Your ass always looks great" Lance confirmed, putting her leg down and closing the car door as she stepped forward to thank the driver before her and Esteban made their way onto the paddock.

They quickly found their way to the Renault garage, not able to ignore the cameras on them as soon as they got there, the duo only worried about how their faces would look in these pictures

"What if I have a double chin?" Lance asked, hand smoothing the skin under her jaw as she spoke

"Lance, the only double you have are double D's, calm down" Esteban scoffed, smiling at her comment

"Stop, I can't kiss you in front of all these people" Lance smiled back, nudging the girls shoulder as they made their way to the Italian side of the garage.

The two mainly sat around, speaking politely to all the slightly offputting men that would walk up and hit on them, the friends having no interest in anything besides the expierence from the job so far.

They'd probably spoken to half the engineers working for Renault before a driver approached them, realizing who it was as soon as he spoke

"You two must be Esteban and Lance, It is a pleasure to have you both here" Giancarlo spoke, extending a hand to Lance then moving to shake Estebans next

"Thank you, We absolutely love it so far." Lance smiled politely, legs crossing as she gazed up at the Italian

"There won't be much going on today but it will get more exciting as the week progresses, I look forward to having you two cheering me on" He smiled back, nodding at the girls before returning to his engineers side, back to work

"God, he's hot" Esteban gushed instantly, whispering in the Canadians ear

"Shut up" Lance laughed, hitting the girls shoulder as she shook her head, disapproving of the comment

"Oh, come on!" Esteban whined "Tell me he isn't. You like older guys, he's like 15 years older than you."

"And so not my type."

"You're such a liar, but fine, more for me then" Esteban hummed, rolling her eyes at the younger girl

Lance and Esteban began to wander around the paddock once the Renault drivers started speaking to the media, being told that it would cause more people to begin speaking about the driver with the number 6 plastered on his car

"My legs hurt" Lance complained, wrapping her arms around the taller girl's waist, pulling her closer as she stumbled on her heels

"Merde" She cursed under her breath, having been startled by the sudden weight on her "Take off your heels then, it'll probably look better if we're shorter than Giancarlo anyway"

Lance nodded, looking at the concrete her heels were resting on before unclasping them and sliding her feet out, glad the pavement wasnt overheated by the sun yet

"God, I should've worn flats" She mumbled, balancing on one foot as she rubbed the sole of her foot

"Stop complaining, it's only been two hours" Esteban laughed at the now shorter girl, picking up her shoes and pulling her along, not noticing the Spaniard who's eyes were stuck on the Canadian with long, bleched blonde hair.

Fernando stopped in his tracks as he saw the two girls not far ahead of him, they were facing away but as the blonde girl spoke her head turned just enough for the World Champion to catch a glimpse of her face, he felt like he'd been punched in the gut he was so in awe with her.

The way her lip jutted out slightly as she complained to the older girl in front of her, the way her clothes fit her perfectly no matter how she positioned her slim yet curvaceous body, the way her hair curled at the ends as it draped over her bare shoulders, everything about her had Fernando completely beguiled.

As Giancarlo finished with his interviews the girls were quick to rush to his side, striking up a conversation while still close enough to the journalists for them to notice the closeness between the trio

"Hello, girls, figured you had returned home already" The older man commented, arms snaking around the young girls' waists as they walked back to the yellow and blue garage

"We couldn't leave without getting to know you more" Esteban hummed, having to look down slightly in order to meet the mans eyes

"Only if I can get to know you as well" He responded, accent thick as he winked at the French woman, Lance rolling her eyes as she third wheeled

As the trio walked into the Italian side of the garage, Lance couldn't help but notice the eyes from the Spanish side. She looked up for a second, lips curving up as she saw the older man look away quickly as if he was caught doing something he wasn't supposed to

"So, what is it you ladies want to learn?" Giancarlo spoke, taking a seat at a small table in the corner as Esteban did the same, Lance just wandering the one side, now curious of the other.

"What are you willing to show me?" Esteban hummed, cocking her head to the side as she gazed at the Italian, completely oblivious to her friend slipping away, putting her shoes back on as she walked.

Lance peeked over to Fernandos side, noticing it was significantly emptier than Giancarlos, hesitating to actually step foot on the other side.

She almost fell over when she heard a voice close to her, grabbing tightly on to the closest thing to her for stability

"Woah" A thick accent spoke, hands grabbing harshly onto her waist "Are you okay?"

Her eyes widened, a startled look on her face as she gazed down at the Spaniard, realizing she'd tripped and fell into the arms of Giancarlos teammate

"Yeah, I'm sorry" She laughed, stepping back and fixing her top, unable to forget how his fingers lingered on her skin as she pulled back

"Don't be sorry, princesa." He responded, a part of him liking having to look up to see the girl "You're welcome on the better side of the garage any time"

"Are you trying to hit on me, Alonso?" Lance smiled, cocking her head to the side as she saw the Spaniards face flush

"Quiza, is it working?" The Spaniard laughed quietly, leaning against the wall beside him as he gazed at the Canadian, hoping he wasn't making the girl uncomfortable

"You'll have to try a little harder, Alonso" She shook her head, looking away from the Spaniard to scan his side of the garage

"Fernando"

"Hm?" She hummed, eyes falling back on the man in blue

"Call me Fernando. Alonso's too formal, no?"

"Okay, Fernando" She nodded, unable to stop herself from smiling "I'm Lance. It's nice to meet you"

"The pleasure is all mine"

Lance spent the rest of the evening on the Spaniards side, he was funny. She was glad to get along with someone besides the man Esteban was clearly into.

"You have to choose one card, now" He smiled, holding a deck of Spanish cards in his hands, fingers decorated with silver rings.

"Okay" She laughed, eyebrows raising as he quickly flipped through the deck

"Oiii, you are too slow" He teased, shrugging as his eyes stayed glued to the woman

"Oh, come on!" Lance groaned, hitting his arm lightly "Go again, slower."

"Yes ma'am" He nodded, flipping through the deck again as he waited for Lance to tell him to stop

"There" She said, and he stopped, moving the deck so she would see her card.

"You know it?"

"Yeah" Lance smiled, leaning forward on the table as she watched the older man link the cards together, showing that he wasn't taking anything out

"Okay, we have the cards," He hummed, laying the deck down now that it was stuck together "You know which one you choose?"

"Mhm"

"Then, we take this off." Fernando glanced at the girl before unlinking the chain and grabbing the cards, setting them in seperate pile one by one "When you see your card you tell me stop."

He got through half the deck and Lance had yet to say anything so he spoke again

"You have to tell me stop, if you no tell me stop-" He said, almost scolding the girl

"I will! I haven't seen it yet" She defended, jutting out her bottom lip as she moved her head closer to the cards

"We cannot play if you no tell me stop."

"I think it might've disappeared! Where's it gone?" Lance questioned, laughing as he reached the end of the deck

"I dunno! You were in charge." He shook his head, lifting up the unlinked chain to show the girl

"Where have you put it?" Her eyebrows furrowed, smiling slightly as she glanced at Fernando, smile widening as he began to laugh.

"I dunno!" He spoke through laughs, beginning to pat himself down

"I don't trust you" Lance's eyes narrowed, taking over and patting the Spaniard down, from his neck to his waist trying to figure out where the small piece of paper had went

They were close, Fernando could feel the girls breath on him, he'd never admit it but it made him quite nervous. She looked even prettier up close.

"C'mon, Fer!" She whined, hitting his chest "Tell me your secrets

"Look in my hat, princesa." Fernando looked up, eyeing the blue material on his head.

She was quick to take it off, shocked to see her card laying in his hat

"How did you-"

"Ah, ah, ah." He shook his finger, "Is a secret."

"Lance" Esteban called from Giancarlos side of the garage, the Canadian girl getting up fron her seat straight away

"Lancito" Fernando said, reaching out and grabbing the girls arm, worried she'd walk away if he didn't "Can I have your number?"

"Of course, Fer" She nodded, quickly typing her number into the mans phone before disappearing back to the side she was supposed to be on.

As soon as they got in the car Lance started gushing about the man she'd spoke to, overanalyzing everything that'd happened.

"No, you don't understand. He called me princess. TWICE. And admitted that he was flirting with me." She tried to explain, Esteban sitting with a skeptical look on her face

"He's a world champion, you're gonna get played." Esteban tried to explain, Giancarlo having briefly mentioned his teammates and how bad he treated the girls he brought around.

"I don't care, he's sexy." Lance whined, grabbing her friends shoulders and shaking her "I can fix him!"

Lance put on the same outfit as yesterday but with a skirt instead, not wanting to look the exact same.

The Spanish man had yet to text her and it made her heart ache for whatever reason, she craved his attention.

As Lance and Esteban reached the paddock they were greeted by the Renault boys straight away. Giancarlo coming to wrap his arms around the girls as Fernando walked with another woman by his side, the polar opposite of Lance.

She had dark brown hair, green eyes, tan skin, she was in flats and jeans and a simple tank top. Is that what Fernando likes? Lance could be that.

He made sure not to stare, instead getting closer to the Italian man at her side as Esteban struck up a conversation, she always knew what to say.

They'd just gotten done with qualifying, Giancarlo p11 and Fernando p5 but the two girls still managed to congratulate the older of the two as if he'd gotten pole.

Lance didn't spare Fernando a glance, no matter how much she wanted to, she wasn't easy.

"You did good out there!" Esteban praised, body pressed against Giancarlo as his hand rested on Lance's hip

"I'm starting to think you girls don't understand how this sport works" He laughed, thumb brushing over the exposed skin on the Canadian's side

"Well, You're right." Lance laughed, trying to pretend she wanted the mans touch how she wanted his teammates "But, at least you aren't last!"

Lance decided she'd head to the car first, not interested in how her friend was eyefucking the man they worked for. She slipped her phone into her pocket, ignoring how it buzzed. She just wanted to take off her makeup and fall asleep in the back seat

"Lancito" A familiar voice called. Great. She'd ignored him all day and now he wanted to talk?

She turned back, unsurprisingly losing every ounce of anger in her body as she saw the look on his face

"My side of the garage missed you today." He hummed, stopping once they were just centimeters apart. The look on his face was different than it had been the day before, no longer soft and playful. He looked bothered.

"Oh, really? Didn't think you'd notice my absence."

"How could I not?" He laughed, hand finding its way to her hip, the same spot Giancarlo had touched earlier. "Hard to not notice someone like you."

"Mm" She just hummed, licking her lips as she looked at Fernando, unable to stop her gaze from falling on the mans own lips.

Without saying a word he pulled her closer, lips connecting roughly, grip on her hip tightening as he pressed their bodies together.

A shakey breath left Lance's lips, her fingers tangling themselves in the shorter mans hair as she kept him close. If he was the last man she was to ever kiss, she wouldn't complain.

His leg came up slightly, pressing against her core as he pressed her back to the wall behind them. Lance was never the doing-stuff-in-public type but if it was from Fernando she'd take whatever she could get.

Her mind clouded as she began to thoughtlessly rut against the mans leg, feeling the smirk forming on his face as her skirt hiked up. She should be embarrassed, really, she met this man, who is almost a decade older than her, yesterday and now she was whimpering into his mouth in a hidden area of the paddock. Maybe she was easy but she's also just a teenage girl, teenage girls have needs too and if this is how she'll meet them she doesn't see anything wrong with that.

Not long after they started it stopped, Fernando hearing his teammate calling his name. He pulled away from the girl, not bothering to even spare her a glance before he disappeared again. Leaving her feeling hot, heavy, and alone.

Lance thought about Fernando all night, thought about the kiss, his touch, the girl from earlier.

She hardly spoke on the ride back to the hotel, Esteban brushing it off as her being tired but even the next morning she was quiet

"What happened, Lance?" She finally asked, sick of her friends silence, it was race day they should be excited.

"He kissed me" Lance muttered, looking over to Esteban as they were both getting dressed

"Who?"

"Fernando"

"FERNANDO ALONSO KISSED YOU AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME?" She said loudly, dropping her shirt and going over to Lance, forcing her to sit down "Now you have to tell me everything"

"Well, I left early"

"I remember" She nodded, eyes glued to Lance

"He followed me, called me Lancito and said his side of the garage missed me. He literally had a girl by him all day hes such a fucking prick." She complained, covering her face with her hands

"But then you kissed?"

"He just got so close to me and I looked at his lips and suddenly he kissed me and pushed me against a wall and did that thing guys do with their knee-"

"OH?" Estebans eyes widened, standing up from Lance's bed "Lance, he wants you so bad."

"Yeah, wants my body so bad."

"Oh, come on. I gave Giancarlo a blowjob yesterday, that's all it is. That's all they want." Esteban shrugged, she'd never cared about the romantic part of things, always just what she could gain from the rich men she encountered. Lance had prayed to wake up like her, not caring, it never worked.

She tried harder today, trying to make herself look like the girl from yesterday. She wore low rise jeans with a soft design on the pockets, lighter makeup, and then a cropped renault shirt with Giancarlos name stitched on the back.

She didn't want to be just a body to the Spaniard, she wanted to be so much more. She wasn't just a body. She was a girl. A woman. She was so full of love and so desperate to recieve the same love she gave and she wanted that from Fernando. For whatever reason.

Lance got out of the car, walking and talking with Esteban as they made their way to the garage, now used to the sounds of clicking cameras and the flash of their pictures being taken.

Esteban was greeted by Giancarlo first, Lance's eyes meeting Fernandos as he walked next to a different girl. Tall, slim, blue eyes, ginger. What did he want. Why did none of his girls look the same. Why were none of them her.

Lance was in a funk practically the whole day, following Esteban around like a lost dog while Fernando and Giancarlo raced.

"I can't believe him." Esteban said randomly, Lance looking at her confused. "He kissed you yesterday and now he's with another girl?"

"I guess world champions just do that" Lance shrugged, trying not to think about it even though Fernando was all the commentators were talking about.

"Not all world champions, he's just a whore."

"I could fix him" She added, laughing it off as a joke but really, she hoped she could.

Giancarlo finished 8th, getting a point for the team. Fernando got 2nd so by the time the second driver returned most of them were at the podium waiting for Fernando to celebrate.

"You did good, Carlo" Esteban hummed, sitting on a counter on the wall of the garage as the Italian took off his helmet and balaclava

"Yeah, you're great." Lance added, nodding as she wished to be celebrating with Fernando.

The podium celebration came to an end, the Spaniard coming back to the garage and going straight to Lance, whispering in her ear before disappearing to shower.

Come to my hotel with me.

Who does he think he is?

Does he think he can just have any girl he wants?

What a dick.

Lance was definitely going.

She told Esteban she'd be staying behind to get to know people and her friend didn't prod, just smiling and nodding before taking herself back to their hotel while her friend snuck off to a drivers.

She found herself in the passenger seat of Fernandos car, his hand tracing shapes on the denim covering her thigh as he drove. She was nervous, not because she knew she wasn't the only girl he'd planned on fucking recently but because she hadn't fucked anyone recently.

The last time she'd gotten any action was with Max Verstappen before an f2 race in a cramped drivers roon where he kept her mouth covered the whole time. He wasn't good.

Surprisingly, her door was opened for her. Fernando holding his hand out to lead the girl in the lobby, into the elevator, and to his room.

He waited for the door to be closed before he kissed Lance again, picking her up and wrapping her legs around his waist with ease.

He moved towards the bed as if he didn't have over 100 pounds of extra wait on him, as if Lance was light as a feather.

It made her smile, hands on either side of Fernandos face as she deepened their kiss, bottom lip jutting out in disappointment once he pulled back, laughing under his breath.

"Come on, have to take these off" He spoke quietly, kneeling on the ground in front of Lance who was sprawled out on the bed, taking off the heels she'd been wearing all day.

Lance sat up, watching as Fernando unbuckled one and slid it off, placing it next to him before doing the same to the other. She was eager for him to get up but he stayed put, peppering her ankles and calves with kisses as he slowly made his way back up, Lance giggling at the feeling of his stubble against her skin.

Eventually, Fernandos lips were back on Lance's, one hand on the nape of her neck while the other worked at undoing her belt, eager to have her fully exposed under him.

One thing Fernando did differently off track was he took his time. Lance hated it. She needed him.

She decided she'd have to do it herself if she wanted anything to happen before she stopped feeling it.

Lance pulled away from him, quick to take off her own belt and pants until all she had was the shirt with Giancarlo's number and name all over it.

"I do not like sharing, Lancito" He muttered, finger brushing over the embroidered "2" on her chest

"I'm all yours." She responded, even though she knew he wasn't all hers.

Fernando scoffed, not believing just how easy the girl was. He undid the first few buttons before sliding off her shirt, adoring the sight of her in nothing but her underwear. A matching black set. As if she knew what was going to happen.

"Qué guapa eres" How pretty. Lance wasn't fluent in Spanish but she'd been hit on by enough Spanish men to know what he was saying.

It was embarrassing, how flustered she got from the most basic compliment.

She could barely remember what happened after that, waking up sore and with dried cum practically covering her skin. Disgusting. Seems like no aftercare had taken place. She wasn't surprised.

Even if she didn't expect aftercare she expected to at least wake up with him still in the room. Obviously, her expectations were too high because she woke up alone. All he left her was a text. Three fucking letters.

"gtg"

Dick.

[jflemings]

jessie blurb? headcanon? that when you guys move to portland she makes it her mission to find stuff like assorted snacks that you’d get from back home so you don’t feel homesick :)

— snack isle

jessie fleming x reader

blurb

no specific snacks are mentioned

the move hard been hard but exciting. from the moment jessie took the offer to her very first time on the pitch for the portland thorns, emotions had been high.

she had trouble with her work visa, you had two suitcases arrive later than the others, a leg on your brand new couch broke when the both of you sat on it for the first time, and jessie had woken up with a killer migraine the day before her first game.

on top of all of that, you were feeling incredibly homesick.

you had been so excited to start this new chapter with jess but one bad thing happening after another had begun to weigh you down tremendously.

jessie felt horribly guilty about it, too. you had moved for her career and whilst she missed london at times, she had seen her family way more than she had before, and she had janine and sinc ready to welcome her to the club. you only had her.

so, here she was, in the snack isle of a small grocery store that sold international food. she looks over the array of packaged food with a misson. she needed to find your all time favourites, and she wasn’t going home empty handed.

she takes a bit of everything. chips, sweets, an extra sugary soda that she can’t stand, and a pack of biscuits that you’d have with your tea almost every night before bed. satisfied, the canadian pays for the food and then makes her way back to her car with a newfound determination.

she walks into the apartment and hurriedly throws her keys onto the kitchen bench before getting all her purchases out of the bag. she arranges them neatly on the bench, nodding and giving herself a satisfied hum of approval just as she hears you walk through the door.

“jess?” you call out.

“kitchen!”

you walk further into your still plain apartment, sighing tiredly.

“did you get ahold of the guy that’s meant to mount our tv? i only had a short break today and couldn’t call”

you stop when you see the pile of snacks in your kitchen, your girlfriend standing beside them like she’s presenting you with a prize.

“i didn’t talk to the tv guy but i did get all your favourite snacks” she says with a smile, putting her hands behind her back “i know you haven’t really been settling very well so i thought this was the least i could do”

you frown and pull her into a warm embrace “thank you”

she leans her head on your shoulder “it’s what i’m here for”

[pigeon-behavior]

Pro tip: if your pigeon(s) refuses to eat particular seeds in your feed mix, that doesn't necessarily mean they hate those seeds. Sometimes, for whatever reason (I don't know why), certain sources just are NOT popular.

But offer the same species of seed from another source and they may gobble it right up.

I found this out after switching off of Versele-Laga. I've noticed pigeons tend to dislike the peas in VL. Not other peas! Although I have bought a third-party bag of Canadian Peas that my pigeons absolutely refused.

Obviously this is a little frustrating, but it means that you can keep making passes at filling any nutritional gaps in your pigeons' diet. Maybe this brand isn't working out for you, maybe that will work for you.

But there's at least 4 good brands on the market in the US. Some just haven't been put to the test by anyone I know yet.

A link if anyone would like to brush up on their pigeon diet info!

If you enjoy my posts, please consider tipping me on ko-fi!

[arrowofcarnations]

Fic-O-Ween 2023 Day 1: First Frost

Happy fest, y’all! Here’s some Harvard-era FinnLo pining to ring in day one. Huge thank-yous to @lumosinlove for the Sweater Weather characters and universe and to @noots-fic-fests for organizing the fest!

Title: Love at First Fright Pairing: Finn O'Hara/Logan Tremblay Rating: G

“Trick or treat!”

Finn smiled at the ghost-witch-robot trio looking up at him and dropped three handfuls of candy into the plastic pumpkin pails they held up expectantly.

“Hey, nice costumes! Happy Halloween!”

The kids barely stood still long enough to say it back before they were taking off in the opposite direction of the frat house, eager to get back to their parents and hit up more treat stops around campus before dark. It was a good day for it; classic autumn in New England, from the crispness in the air to the red, brown and yellow leaves drifting down off the trees to cover the manicured grass in a vibrant seasonal blanket. Even the deep red of Harvard’s brick buildings seemed more beautiful in October, like they were meant to exist in a state of perpetual fall.

Throngs of local kids—and some of their parents—were all decked out in their Halloween best, while Finn and the rest of the OKN guys wore school-branded clothes while taking turns manning the candy-laden folding table outside the house between classes. (Finn wasn’t sure any of them owned a costume they could wear outside in broad daylight.) 

He laughed as Percy walked over, refill bag in hand, wearing the exact same gray sweatshirt with a crimson HARVARD across the chest as he was, the same black joggers—almost the same sneakers. “Fashion.”

Percy grinned back at him. “You know it, baby.” He turned the bag upside down, dumping the candy into any bowls that weren’t full and spilling some across the table as he went.

“Yo, you’re getting jolly ranchers all over the ground.”

“You’re a fuckin’ jolly rancher.”

“You’re a fuckin’ kit-kat.”

“You’re a—”

“Shut up, there’s kids,” Will warned, then passed some treats to a tiny ballerina with a kind smile and a compliment for her costume.

“Oh shit, my bad,” Percy said, and Finn snorted as Will cuffed him on the side of the head.

Finn unwrapped a watermelon jolly rancher and popped it into his mouth as he watched students and families pass by. Percy nudged him with an elbow, getting his attention. “Where’s Tremz? Thought you were surgically fused at this point.”

“Fu—” he cut off as Will leveled the captain stare at him. “Heck off. He’s in his medieval history class, he’ll be back soon.”

“Speak of the French-Canadian devil,” Percy shouted as Logan walked up the path to the house, backpack on his shoulders and snapback on his head—backwards, per usual. He looked good in the crimson Harvard Hockey hoodie he was wearing; Finn’s eyes caught the fraying at the cuffs and his stomach swooped as he realized it was his, that Logan must’ve swiped it this morning before heading out. 

“Bonjour,” Logan said, oblivious to the state of Finn’s internal organs.

“Bone-joor,” Percy replied before Finn could say it. “Very French of you. And shorts in October. Very Canadian of you.”

“We haven’t even had first frost yet.” Logan looked from Percy to Finn. “How much candy did you let him eat?”

“Too much,” Will answered for him. “Don’t you have class next, Marshy?”

After a complicated handshake with Finn that neared 15 seconds long, Percy grabbed his bag and took off at a slow jog. Finn wasn’t happy that he left, exactly, but he was happy that Logan walked around the table to take his spot right beside him.

“How’s that black plague treatin’ ya?” he asked as Logan slid his backpack off and under the table.

Logan’s eyes crinkled as he laughed. “Better than it’s treating medieval Europeans. But the reading is a little…”

He looked away—embarrassed, maybe, or frustrated. Finn knew he hated that English still tripped him up sometimes, though the amount he’d improved in just a few semesters was damn impressive. Finn kicked his shin lightly. “I got you. Would’ve flunked out last spring if it weren’t for you, so. Bring on the plagues.”

Logan kicked him back and sent him a grateful smile. And just because he couldn’t help it, Finn plucked at the sleeve of his hoodie. “Nice sweatshirt.”

“You left it on my chair,” Logan said, but Finn saw a little bit of color in his cheeks that he was pretty sure the afternoon chill didn’t put there.

It was a shoddy excuse, but so was Finn teasing him about it being “a little tight in the shoulders, Tremz, you gym beast” just so he could put a hand on one of those broad shoulders and squeeze. Logan was warm and so solid even through the layers; his hand lingered just a second too long before he let it fall away.

The next half hour passed quickly as trick-or-treaters came and went. The sun had just started to sink lower in the sky when a girl who couldn’t have been older than five or six walked up to the table, her guardian hanging back a ways. She had a hockey jersey on and was carrying her helmet, probably tired of wearing it around. 

She was closing in on Logan, who’d ended up on the opposite end of the long folding table as Finn at some point, when the big animatronic ghoul in front of the porch lurched and let out its tinny scream. The girl jumped, looking terrified, and tears filled her wide brown eyes.

“Oh,” Finn heard Logan say softly; his brow was knitted with concern as he walked quickly out from behind the table and crouched down in front of her. “I’m sorry. We didn’t mean to scare you.”

The girl didn’t say anything, just turned to look at her adult and then back at Logan. It seemed like she was trying not to run away.

Logan nodded at her jersey. “You play hockey?”

She nodded.

“Me too. All these guys are on my team. What’s your favorite position to play?”

That drew her out of her shell. “Goalie,” she said with a quiet confidence as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

“I see. You know what I know about goalies?” The girl shook her head, but clearly looked interested at whatever Logan was about to say. He leaned in like he was telling a secret, then said, “They’re the bravest ones. Also the craziest.”

Finn’s chest warmed at the way she laughed, at how Logan had gotten her from near-tears to happy and chatting in no time at all. He never got to see Logan with little kids; all their siblings were older. It was nice. It was sweet. It was doing things to Finn’s heart that he’d rather not think about.

In the end, the little girl—Harper, she told Logan as he filled her candy pail until it was overflowing, then filled her helmet, too—skipped away in a great mood. Logan was still smiling a little after they’d gone as Finn walked over to him.

“She was cute.”

Logan nodded. “Ouais.”

“You, too.” It was out of his mouth before he could shove it back in. Logan raised an eyebrow at him. “You were cute with her,” he explained—not that that really made it better.

But Logan looked pleased that he’d said so, even as he shrugged. “It’s not hard when they’re adorable. She said she’s a goalie.”

“Oh, so the skeleton thing should’ve been afraid of her.”

Logan laughed. “That’s kind of what I told her.”

Finn wanted to say so much. You’re cute all the time. You should only wear my hoodies. You’ll make a great dad someday. I want to share that someday with you.

Instead, he took Logan’s hat off and ruffled his hair. “Dinner?” he asked. “Burgers? Hog’s Head?”

Logan took his hat back and put it back on, but he wasn’t even pretending to be annoyed. “Ouais, let’s go now before they make us clean up.”

As they snuck off behind the house toward the pub, Finn took a handful of cherry jolly ranchers out of his pocket and put them in Logan’s. Logan laughed, then did the same for Finn with the watermelon ones. 

“Happy Halloween, Tremz.”

“Happy Halloween, Harzy.”

[leaveharmony]

So as will periodically happen, Patti gave me a necklace today. Found it on a buying trip, always intended to disassemble it because it's too clunky for her taste but has some beautiful parts...but she couldn't find it within herself to do violence to it, and doesn't really deal in pre-owned stuff, so what she had was a big cumbersome piece of jewellery she had no idea what to do with because she would not wear it, repurpose it or sell it.

Now.

Now, when George was alive, he used to do this as well - but George dealt in true, plastic rhinestone, junk metal costume jewellery and what he'd do was hand me a fistful of the stuff that arrived broken or damaged enough that he couldn't be arsed to try to fix it to sell on.

This is...this is not that. It should have occurred to me because all those big stones? Those are fucking labradorite. The flat ones are I believe some kind of cultivated pearl. In spite of knowing this I was so high on the Nick figure getting here (we picked him up before we went to visit Patti because we had used paper shopping bags to hand back to her) that it didn't even enter my mind that nobody in their right mind would mount this much semiprecious stone on junk metal.

St John, says the toggle clasp. There is also a funny little jeweller's mark (brand mark, as it turns out) with what looks like a funny little G on it (it is not a funny little G). I did not flip it over to see the 925.

St John. Not as in, made in St John, but as in, St John Knits, luxury knitwear brand. We're talking, thousand dollar cardigans, luxury. I did some digging, increasingly alarmed...by the time I found an exact match (ebay, took me a hot minute because the seller could not identify labradorite on sight)I found an exact match. This exact thing is going for $248USD. USD!!! And probably originally cost at least that much. This is now in fact the most expensive piece of jewellery I own, and by a WIDE margin. I have no idea what she paid for it, but like...holy fuck lol. Said she found it at a flea market. I was carrying around like $400 canadian worth of sterling silver and stone in my Grover tote bag next to a damaged-packaging some-assembly-required Nick figure. Which the guy also just outright gave me.

It's been a weird day, man.

[ingek73]

1. Morocco

Wanting to emulate the long and graceful silhouette of the Moroccan Djellaba, this look features a long scarf over the shoulder to complete an all red look with a hint of green, akin to that of the Moroccan flag.

2. Jamaica

This look takes direct inspiration from the design of the Jamaican flag as well as the colors.

3. USA

The classic red white and blue, with classic denim. The look itself is “Made in America” as it features American icons such as Ralph Lauren, and nephew Greg Lauren, as well as one of the most iconic American brands, Coach. The look also contains accessories from Chrome Hearts as well as a hint of the Brooklyn Based streetwear brand Kidsuper.

4. Mexico

This look takes inspiration from the traditional charro suit, which is a type of suit originally worn by the horsemen of the Charrería, and often associated with the Mariachi. The look also features two rings in the shape of a skull, refrencing the Mexian skull, the Calavera, which represents death and rebirth and is a symbol of Mexican holiday “el Día de los Muertos” , the Day of the Dead.

5. France

This look Features French Fashion giants Balmain, Louis Vuitton, and Hermès, the latter responsible for arguably the most popular designer bag of all time, the Birkin. This look Features the iconic Haut à Courroies 50 in Crocodile, one of the most coveted and financially consuming bags from the legendary french house.

6. Italy

Inspired by classic Italian menswear, this look features Italian fashion giants, Giorgio Armani, Brunello Cucinelli, Salvatore Ferragamo, and Ermenegildo Zegna whilst incorporating the colors of the Italian flag.

7. Palestine

Initially the idea was to create a look drawing inspiration from a traditional Palestinian garment called a Thawb, a long ankle length garment, which is typically long sleeved. Upon my research I discovered hundreds of Palestinian athletes had been killed recently amongst the atrocities ongoing in Gaza. Understanding the strength and courage it would take to perform at a world stage given a genocide in ones own country, I wanted to make a look that feels like a human embodiment of the flag itself but most importantly, I wanted something that felt beautiful and free.

8. Canada

Consisting of popular Canadian brands Dquared2 and Canada goose, this look takes direct inspiration of the Canadian flag design, down to the squared brooch in the center of the vest. Stylistically, something you’d want to wear during a Canadian winter.

[stardustandash]

OK Americans, with my last few visits south over the border, it has come to my attention that y'all don't have some staple junk foods/candies available to you.

Smarties - Like an M&M, but a flatter disc shape and with more candy coating. Colours tend to be less vibrant than M&Ms. The crunch is much more satisfying and the ratio of candy to chocolate makes them far superior to M&Ms for me!!

Mars Bars - creamy nougat and caramel coated in chocolate. If you're thinking wow! that just sounds like a Milky Way, you'd be correct. AND WRONG! The whole reason I'm doing this list is because I just ate a Milky Way and was supremely disappointed when Mars bars are one of my fave chocolate bars

Ketchup Chips - A Canadian classic. Found at every barbecue and potluck ever. Not my favourite but some people love them! Similar to salt and vinegar but with more tomato-y flavour

Coffee Crisp - As a sweet coffee-obsessed country I was shocked when I learned they didn't exist in the states, and now I have become a coffee crisp mule for friends. A not so sweet chocolate bar that tastes like a chocolate frappiccino with a shot of espresso in it. Absolutely delicious. Also very crunchy if you like a crunchy candy bar.

Wine Gums - Another surprising one for me. Don't be fooled by the name, they are not wine flavoured. Wine Gums are an extra chewy gummy candy with a variety shapes and fruit flavours in a bag. Not as sweet as most gummies, and definitely delicious!

All Dressed Chips - I have also become a mule for these. They land somewhere between barbecue and salt and vinegar flavoured chips. Always part of a chip selection. These are one of my favourite flavours of chips, and any Canadian knows that the Ruffles branded ones hit different.

Aero Bars - Now I believe these are more available than the others in the states, but I include them because you don't get the strange flavour varieties. And because they're not widely known. The basic bar is milk chocolate with air bubbles inside. It makes for a very satisfying feeling when you let them melt on your tongue.

Hickory Sticks - literally just a stick version of a plain potato chip. But there's something about them. They have a subtle smoky flavour. Hickory, if you will. And it drives you to finish a bag in under 10 minutes. Once you start eating them you cannot stop. They will be stuck to your greasy fingers and you will look feral.

Swedish Berries - Again, I am flabbergasted that on some research y'all are apparently being deprived of the Maynard's gummies??? I picked this one off the lists because it's the most ubiquitous, although my least favourite of their gummies. They are red-berry flavour in the same way that blue raspberry is blue-berry flavour. Shaped like little raspberries but they do not taste like raspberries. Similar flavour to bigfoot gummies. Excellent for decorating cupcakes to look like nipples.

Kinder Surprise - You've all heard of it. You've probably tried other Kinder products. However, nothing hits like a Kinder Egg. The chocolate with the layer of milk and white, the fun of figuring out the toy and how to put it together. Sorry these got banned and not, well, everything else...

*Some of these are not made/created in Canada, but are so readily available they are found at all grocery and convenience stores here.

Reblog for a wider reach!! And if I left out your favourite Canadian treat that you can't get in the states put it in the tags!

[fox-fic-and-ink]

*slaps table excitedly*

Surprise! It's an interest check!

For a long time now, I've been thinking about this fan project and this year is THE year to make it a reality. I'm making a...

Yup, yup, yup! One of the things about Destiny that still grabs me is the beauty and warmth of the in-universe winter celebration, The Dawning. As a lore nerd, some of my favorite Destiny tidbits come from Dawning lore (Eva, your cookie recipes are unhinged and only you can so effortlessly bully Ikora into celebrating holidays. I love you.) I also find myself wanting to write fluffy Dawning fic every year.

So I thought, "Why not combine my loves of heartwarming lore, fanfic writing, and adorably thematic gifts by making an ADVENT CALENDAR?!"

And here I am. But most anything worth doing is more fun with friends so I wanted to open the experience to the net! I did my research and my cost analysis and I would like to present two options for consideration.

Option #1

12 days of individually wrapped gifts themed around the Dawning/Destiny. Three holiday ornaments, a wearable pin, small toy/game, hilariously on-brand six sided dice, three piece Vanguard scents in atomizers (y'all remember when I was a fancy department store big shot? I spent a lot of that time curating character scents from expensive perfumes/colognes. I know what the Vanguard smells like and you can too. XD), stationary and stickers, keychain, and more.

$35, US shipping included. (International shipping would require an additional fee. I'm so sorry things are like this, Canadian friends!)

Option #2

21 days (about the standard length of the Dawning) of individual gifts. All the above from option 1 plus four more ornaments, a pair of 'Cayde's cotton socks', two more small toys/games, another pin, and lots more surprises.

$50, US shipping included. International negotiable.

Packages containing all gifts (in individual, stylish, numbered paper bags), string and clips for hanging advent calendar on a vertical surface (think Command Strips) would ship out second week of December (or sooner).

And just to stress, this is a FAN PROJECT. You won't receive a bunch of official Destiny branded merch that I bought at the Dollar Tree or something. These are insider jokes and throwback/experiences Destiny fans will remember (along with some new cheeky fan lore for each piece). Some of the curated items are manufactured and some are handmade by yours truly. All of them are dorky or charming with serious Destiny vibes.

What do you think? Would you want one for yourself or a friend? Let's circulate this interest check until Monday Nov 13 and then plot a course from there!

[chichiscloset]

What are some sites or stores you shop at to find clothes/ accessories/shoes etc?

Hi love!

I shop mostly at Saksfithavenue, Amazon, Skims, Lululemon & Shein. I wear a lot of dresses and I find these stores to have exactly what I need.

*All prices listed are in (CAD) Canadian dollars*

Saksfithavenue

Saks is a bit on the pricier side, but you can get a lot of cute authentic luxury pieces from different fashion houses for less. I normally get my dinner/ date night dresses from here.

Most items cost anywhere from CAD 400$ upwards. Some items I’m thinking about getting

Amazon

Amazon has a lot of affordable items which I love. And a lot of great dupes of pricer items. For example I bought a skims dupe dress and cartier love ring just to compare it to the one I already had. To my surprise they were almost identical!

Amazon is a great way to shop for clothes, and accessories if your on a budget. I paid about CAD 35$ for each dress & 9.99$ for the ring *Please note I also had Amazon prime.*

Skims

I had my doubts about skims until A few months ago. My friend put me on, and I recommended I buy the infamous skins dress, and some Shapewear. Ever since then I’ve never looked back.

If you’re looking for lounge& shapewear, skims should be your go to there’s so many amazing pieces on there that suits every skin tone and everybody type!

Skims is a little bit on the priced sider side items starting around CAD 50$ upwards. But definitely worth the hype.

Lululemon

You can’t go wrong with having a pair of align leggings some Air Force once’s and the bbl align jacket. Although pricey it’s worth the price.You cannot compete with the quality.

Not much to say about the brand the quality speaks for itself. Leggings start at CAD 98$ and the align jacket CAD 128$

Shein

Every girl shops here. Not much to be said. A tip for finding good clothes always go the back page and work your way to the front I’ve been able o get some god quality shoes bags and dresses that way

The items listed below cost CAD 38$ & CAD 50$

[haila-wetyios]

I come from a third world country. Which makes it easy for peeps from the first world to have several misconceptions about living conditions or even where I am (my favourite is the one where they think Nicaragua is located in Africa, or me being Russian).

That said, my husband (who I now believe is the saint of patience in disguise) has done his best in the 10 years we've been together to try and at least explain to his family that no, I don't live in a hut, unaware of all commodities and twiddling my thumbs, trying to marry him to get a visa and dump him right away. Or that yes, there's several towns at my country with rich agriculture but all are modern enough that you won't feel like you're in the end of the world or in some random mountain in your tent (unless of course, you really wanted to go camping to all our green areas).

We got a half assed functioning capital city, we only have Summer all year round, and greens and dairy products are so rampant that there's tons of cheeses that I can't smuggle out to my friends because they come with zero preservatives and maybe some extra seasoning from the farmer hand that handled them that had no time to wash it before we got it.

We lack a few of the fancier things in current modern society yes (as in, old models of several things), but it reflects mostly in the lack of manners and survival of the fittest practice that we have to deal with on a daily basis against each other. And of course, the government insisting on getting the country to crumble from the inside and the oppression of those against it, but that's a topic for a different writing.

This of course, has not gotten through my dear mother in law's head, and now that I'm staying for a brief period of time with them to get the hang of Canada, everyday is a very wild day of hot takes from her strange assumptions about me, or the way she handles things in general. Here are some of them:

"That's a train! Have you ever seen/been on a train before?"

"Oh I just got organic milk! It's good for your body. Have you ever had organic milk?"

Asking which Canadian brand I have never heard off I would like for certain groceries.

Going through roads I've only seen once since first arriving and asking if they're familiar to me.

"OH I HAVE TO TEACH YOU HOW TO USE THE TV" *proceeds to press the ON button and tell me to choose Netflix on the menu*

Suggesting that since they got a bag full of toothpaste, lotions, deodorants and so on, that I could grab those and make small packets to bring back to gift to my friends and co-workers at home.

Being very confused as to why I would take a walk around the neighbourhood without my husband, who is chilling playing games and letting me do my own thing.

Asking my husband why I didn't cook him breakfast instead of us sharing duties on breakfast prepping.

Asking if I've ever had cheese from Portugal often (it's always a new different brand).

"Y'KNOWWHATIMEAN?" x8 times (minimum) to me during the day.

Trying to get me to agree that the current weather is blazing hot while I'm wearing at least 2 jackets.

Being very confused when I mentioned my parents went out on a fishing trip, asking why if our house 'is right next to the sea' (we live in the city).

Insisting that I accept several cloth donations.

Insisting that my family take several cloth donations.

Asking in different words if I've ever had boiled eggs???

Losing her mind when I mentioned we don't have sweet potatoes at home.

Being shocked that we grow our own herbs in the backyard (parsley, thyme, etc etc).

Now just in case, this doesn't upset me as much as it amuses me at this point. We deal with too much shit at home for misconceptions to get to me. But those are only the tip of the iceberg of everything I've seen and heard in roughly a week of being around. And I do have to admit, I'm both wondering while also being terrified of whatever misconception comes next. I've had several moments of giving the benefit of the doubt and my dear mother in law grabs those, and throws them into a home run far, far away.

She loves me and changing the way she thinks is definitely impossible. So just gotta take the list of things and roll with them I guess. In her eyes, I either popped out of thin air, or have been living in Canada for a long while, there's no in between image of me