#canNOT (repeat; canNOT) fight so you kinda just get to the point where it's like an old western stand-off until one of you leaves the room.

[hunnybeez]

I truly believe that McLaren are too committed to looking like one big happy family where there drivers are friends and everyone is treated as an equal to win this championship. They have clearly the fastest car out on track by quite some margin and yet they bottle it time and time again. Because they are too afraid to prioritise one driver over another. Strategically they are no where near as decisive as they should be and it shows. But in some respects I kinda have to feel for the strategists because when the directive from up top is “we want this drivers championship, but both drivers should be treated as equals and no one should be prioritised and if one driver is disadvantaged but something we do then we should give it back to them even if it hurts our chances of a championship” what the hell are you meant to do with that?!

They are so desperate to avoid a repeat of Hungary and the emotional blackmail bs that they put Lando through on the team radio and the damage that did to the team ‘brand’ if you will that they bottled it again today. Yes Oscar dive bombing Lando did kind of ruin Lando’s race because Charles got through, but that was always a possibility if both cars are told they can fight each other. So either you enforce team orders and tell them not to fight or you invert the cars later down the line when pitting them. But they just can’t do it! Like I know that is a horrible thing to do to Oscar as he earned his place but when you are fighting for a drivers championship these are the calls that have to be made. And you can’t tell me that Redbull and Mercedes haven’t made similar calls in a championship fight. Instead they became so focused on their internal race between their two drivers that they completely forgot about Ferrari. Today should have easily been a McLaren win (no disrespect to Charles who drove incredibly to make those tires last) but no now you have to settle for 2-3 and a pissed off Lando who has lost out twice because of team orders.

I should point out at the end of this I am no McLaren fan but their drivers deserve better and you cannot convince me this team is serious enough to win a drivers championship….. and don’t get me started on papaya rules..

[sleep-deprivedracoon]

JJK Manga leaks - Heavy spoilers ahead.

Please do not read below the cut if you do not wish to be spoiled.

These are for chapter 237.

I repeat do not read below the cut if you do not wish to be spoiled.

The pacing of this arc has got me so anxious tbh. It's gotten to a point where people cannot even predict where the plot would head towards and I like it to be honest. It's refreshing (traumatizing) that something isn't predictable even though it follows certain Shonen manga tropes. JJK is such an outlier Shonen. This is a long read, I apologize in advance.

After reading the leaks, I have some thoughts and I have listed them below -

1. Gojo’s death seems kinda pointless right now with Sukuna's reincarnation and reverting to his true form. He literally healed all the damage done by the Hollow Purple. Gojo probably is gone for good and I have slowly come to terms with that. But I need to know what Sukuna's reincarnation to his true form implies for Megumi. From how Twitter and Reddit is reacting, it seems like Megumi also is gone for good now. Everyone clowns on Gojo for being hated by Gege but I truly think Gege hates Megumi the most. Poor baby cannot seem to be catching a break.

2. The fact that we don't see Gojo's body anymore worries me. The fact that we still haven't seen any of our remaining characters react/process Gojo's death also worries me. Worries me because it is giving me copium again and I just have started to accept Gojo's death 🙃

3. We now know Kashimo is going to die when he runs out of CE because he yeeted his human form to fight Sukuna. So Kashimo is not making it out alive in Kashimo vs Sukuna. I atleast hope he damages Sukuna enough for the rest to jump on Sukuna but I doubt that will happen (explained more in detail towards the end)

4. We finally get crumbs of Sukuna's backstory. He was an unwanted child (if the fan translation is believed to be right. I am still going to wait for an official translation because last time the fan translation made us all hope about Gojo's revival way more than it was hinted.). Knowing Gege, I think this is the maximum we will get to know about Sukuna before he became the king of curses. Gege once mentioned in an interview that Sukuna was beyond help and was pure evil. I mean this dude has Uruame cook humans for him. So I don't think Gege is going to give us a tragic backstory for Sukuna.

5. Also Kashimo's line about Sukuna's strength reminds me of Geto and Gojo's KFC breakup line.

6. Hakari vs Uruame. Let's fucking gooooooooo! Beat their ass Hakari!!! I am betting on Hakari winning this. The good guys desperately need this win. Please Gege, just be merciful on us for once.

7. We still don't know what Kenjaku is up to (stay the fuck away from Gojo's body you slimy fiend).

I honestly still do find it weird that Gege chose this route of let's kill the strongest character because he is a roadblock by creating an almost omnipotent character that is absolutely insane and a master strategist. At this point someone will have to turn into Buddha themselves to take Sukuna down. I think the last win we had (if we do not consider Gojo unboxing as a win and the culling games win) was with Yuji and Todo. And Todo retired/left? (I don't blame him though. STAY SAFE MY BOY).

But to summarize the good guys roster right now - Nanami is dead, Nobara is MIA, Yaga is dead, Yuki is dead, Todo has retired, Megumi is likely a goner, Gojo is dead and since we don't know what happened in the 1 month (because we didn't get a training arc), Yuji only has black flash, stamina and super strength right now. The higher ups were probably kiiled/dismanted by Gojo. Zenin clan got KO'd by Maki. Yuta is the only special grade in Japan that is alive. Mei Mei will switch sides like it is nobody's business. Maki is one of the only people who's had an insane shonen level power creep since Shibuya arc. Shoko and Utahime are not fighters.

Whereas the bad guys roster - Uruame with their icy powers, Kenjaku with literally all the curses that Geto had plus several more that he acquired and Sukuna. The fact that Sukuna has a binding vow with Kenny and Sukuna is almost omnipotent rn.

Sukuna abilities :

1) Can make himself immortal by putting his soul into cursed objects(fingers)

2) Can take over others bodies by making them ingest his finger

3) Can use the taken over body's CT proficiently with minimal training

4) Has twice higher CE than the next highest person (Yuta)

5) Has the best RCT on par with Gojo

6) Has a way to revive himself without RCT (such a possibility was not even considered possible in the power system uptil now )

7) Has/Had the 2nd best cursed technique (ten shadows)

8) Has a cursed tool that can shoot lightning

9) Has a flame arrow than can insta kill a special grade curse

10) A way to transfer damage he sustains ,to the soul of the body he inhabits

11) A way to enlarge his body parts (when he tries to eat angel)

12) Has the best durability (sustained 2 purples (probably the technique with the highest damage in the series besides the space-time cleave) a blue infused black flash punch, and unlimited void)

13) An unexplained CT that hasn't been revealed yet.

14) Crazy learning rate able to reproduce anything by seeing it only once

15) Has 4 arms and multiple eyes

16) A barrier less domain - idk if his reincarnation can now do DE

17) Cleave and dismantle for which he can modify the cursed energy output however he wishes.

18) No moral compass or emotional attachments that can be exploited against him.

19) probably has 2nd highest IQ (after kenjaku ) and easily highest battle IQ. Mans not only planned for Gojo but also for after Gojo.

Realistically our protagonists (Right now only Yuji and Yuta) need a dues ex machina moment to take down just Sukuna. And after Sukuna is dealt with, they need to plan for Kenjaku.

The odds aren't looking too good :(

I miss the goofiness that this Manga had lol.

[fireemblems24]

Scarlet Blaze Ch 11

Sorry this is taking forever, but here's ch 11.

MAIN STORY

Oh, shit, do we have to fight Gilbert next? AND ANNETTE? This suuukkkkks. It especially sucks since you know they didn't have a choice but to risk their lives just defending themselves.

Annette is so precious. Fuck. I don't want to fight her.

Gilbert being a good daddy though 😭😭😭😭

At least CF was entertaining. SB is a giant snoozefest where I have to kill all my favorites.

Man, they all sound like psychopaths. They're all super excited to go kill people who are just defending themselves. Even Dorothea's only worried about marriage.

MAP/SIDE STUFF

Shez just said that everyone who gets killed in the war "is standing in our way." Imagine comparing self-defense to "getting in our way." Yikes for that characterization compared to how concerned GW!Shez is about Claude's aggressive decisions.

Lamo, Mercedes is like wtf am I doing here fighting the Kingdom and Annie? 

Aww, Marianne (and Dorothea) are like the only two who realize they're fighting other people and not just being all murder happy like the rest. 

Dimitri just got put on par with Holst and Caspars dad by Balthis, kind of, unofficially best Kingdom warrior? 

We're addressing the Ferdinand and Hubert subplot again. Which is good. It's by far the most interesting part of SB. Though, it's just a repeat of what we've seen from it before.

Ok, they're adding some different stuff which is interesting. Bringing up that even if Fredie's dad tried to retire and stay out of Edelgard's way, that he would still have to die because of what he symbolizes. Hubert and Ferdinand disagree on whether people like Mr. Aegir can get a second chance (as in, can you when you've become a symbol).

This is especially interesting to me in regards to what happens to Rhea, Dimitri, and Claude if they surrender to Edelgard and become her puppets. Basically, Hubert is saying that, no matter what, they'd have to die because anyone who would rebel would use (fill in here) as a symbol of their resistance. Claude may be the sole exception here because he can scoot off to Almyra, but it's very obvious that Rhea and Dimitri (and their staunch allies) are fighting for their lives, because even if we're generous and say Edelgard would spare them and give them life worth living (i.e. not locked up), Hubert would most certainly have them assassinated.

Which also brings up another point. People always talk about how it's wrong/bad for Dimitri to try and spare Edelgard at the end of AM because what kind of life would she live? But always praise Edelgard for trying to spare Rhea towards the end of CF but no one - not a single soul - asks what kind of life would Rhea live? I gotta make my own post about that.

SB is really gonna be - kill yo dad, the route. Ironic since I played this the day after Father's Day.

I have to fight Sylvain 😭

SHEZ & MANUELA A SUPPORT

Manuela is flirting with Shez lol. He said he liked her voice and she pushed him with like "is that all" until he talked about her looks lamo

Aww, Shez actually likes her hungover side. Saying he likes warrior her, singer her, healer her, and drunk her. That's kinda cute, actually

Shez said that he can't keep his eyes off her. Laying it on a bit thick. And said she's more attractive now than she was younger haha.

Yeah, Shez, I have no idea how she was supposed to see that in any other way lol.

HUBERT & LYSITHEA B SUPPORT

Hubert finds Lysithea studying at night and teases her about ghosts. She runs away.

The Imperial Army is a bunch of children who don't want to eat their veggies. This is 100% cannon. Hubert orders guards to sneak them into soups for the soldiers actually get their veggies. I cannot. (though, imagine the privilege, Faerghus could never)

Lysithea freaks out because she ate veggies.

Veggies are legitimately delicious though. I don't know what the Imperial Army's problem is.

EDELGARD & MONICA A SUPPORT

Guys, I'm so excited. A Monica support. I wonder what she'll talk about.

Monica counts how many times Edelgard worried about her and invited her to tea. I just . . . no.

This support was pure cringe.

I love how "Kingdom bad" because they're willing to die to defend their homes, family, friends, and everything and anything else they've loved from invaders, but Monica is to be admired because she's oh so loyal to Edelgard that even in when Edelgard leaves her for dead, it's a happy moment for Monica because it helps Edelgard's cause. Like . . . double standard much?

PETRA & CONSTANCE C SUPPORT

Constance is something else. She confronts Petra because Petra's dad invaded and it led to the demise of Constance's everything.

I enjoy supports that address conflict, but girl, that was not Petra's fault. Don't take it out on her.

Oh, good, she's not. She recognizes that Petra's people suffered, and that neither of them were involved, so there's no bad blood.

Then she hahahas and leaves. Lamo, this made me love Constance.

Petra doesn't get a chance to say she agrees and seeks out Constance, but finds her in the sunlight, and needlessly to say, is very confused.

MAIN BATTLE

Hubert and Edelgard just said submit or die.

Wow, Linhardt is like I wish the nobles would think about all the people who they're forcing to fight. The lack of self-awareness is astounding.

Ferdinand can join the "lack of self-awareness club" for acting like it's the Kingdom causing the violence.

Baron Dominic opened the gate, risking his defenses to rescue soldiers. Hubert judged him. But we're supposedly the good guys. I swear the writing goes out of it's way to make the Kingdom look good.

Fuck. I have to fight Gustave :( He dead :( Poor Annette.

FUCK. Now I have to fight Annette.

Fuck this route. Ingrid, Rodrigue, Gustave, and now Annette - all dead.

Even Baron Dominic's death is making me sad. None of the Empire generals get this kind of humanization when they die lol.

Edelgard and Hubert sound insane. Edelgard's acting like their deaths were inevitable because of their lineage (when they would've been just fine if not for her actions), and Hubert's like he's happy to die so it doesn't matter. What a bunch of looney tunes.

Edelgard just said whoever wins gets to decide what's right. I mean, victors do write the history but yikes at the implications.

So deep - "we're up against the world itself." Sounds like a teenage edge-lord wrote this lamo.

We got crusher. Joy. Did they pry it out of Annette's dead hands?

Oh, joy, more backtracking. Revolts in the Empire. I thought we were out of the backtracking era and into kill every Blue Lion era.

xxxx

[agnol117]

i haven't thought of myself as my deadname since i was fifteen.

this wasn't intentional, but i don't think it was unintentional, either. i'd adopted the name "Agnol" online by then, taking a word i'd learned in french and chopping off letters until i was left with a word that was just sounds, and wasn't necessarily masculine (it's worth noting that "Agnol" is also the name of a superboss in Pokémon Colosseum, and that may have inspired me, but i don't recall ever reaching that boss). this wasn't really for trans reasons, not at the time. if you'd asked fifteen year old me about it, i probably wouldn't have had anything positive to say about being trans, if I had anything to say at all. but even then, there was a sort of sense in my mind that "deadname" was my body, while "Agnol" was me, in a way that was separate from my body.

in addition to all of this, i'd been playing as the girl in any game that let me since Dragon Warrior III on the gameboy color. truthfully, this came in waves, especially in Pokémon games -- i'd make a girl character, get embarassed about it, restart as the boy, get frustrated that that didn't "feel" right, restart as a girl, and repeat the cycle. eventually i just took to getting both versions, one to play "publically" at school as the boy, one to play on my own as the girl. and while all this was going on, i played around with names. i won't go through them all, but suffice it to say that it took me a while to settle on "jill," a name that feels right in a way i'm not going to get into here, and by the time i did i was pretty willing to actually acknowledge that i was, in fact, trans. i was also, by this time, thirty-one. it had been a rough decade and a half, and even then, i'd spent quite a lot of that time actively avoiding thinking about gender stuff.

all of this now brings us to Earthbound. there's gonna be pretty heavy spoilers here, and while it is a thirty year old game and most of what I've got to say has been kinda brough into the pop culture knowledge of Earthbound, this is your chance to turn back.

i'd been using "jill" as my name for characters when i could for about a year and a half when i got to my first playthrough of Earthbound. i'm not out in real life, because for reasons involving my health and safety, i can't be. so i was jill in games, in the places i could be. but, well, as much as i wished it didn't, that always felt like a character i was playing. and really, that's to be expected. much as i might wish i was, i'm not a pokémon trainer. even things like OneShot, where you as player are ostensibly a character in the story, didn't really feel like i was really "there." it didn't really feel like me.

Earthbound changed that.

at a certain point in Earthbound, you're prompted to enter your name. notably, the game specifies that it's asking for your name. you, the player. it verifies this later, but after that, you still have like four more dungeons to go through and a bunch of story shit happens and honestly i forgot it happened.

and then you get to Giygas.

i have a lot of feelings about this fight, but really, most of them aren't relevant here. the important part is how the fight ends. you reach a point where your characters cannot damage Giygas anymore. that's actually underselling it -- the fight reachs a point where you can't even understand what Giygas is doing to your characters anymore. it's become a meme at this point, but "You cannot grasp the true form of Giygas's attack!" is legitimately terrifying. you're not even fighting a clearly defined opponent anymore. you're fighting the background.

and Paula prays.

the game kind of obliquely hints at this, but having played Mother (which is, in retrospect, a truly tragic name for the series) previously and knowing that when you fought Giygas in that, you beat him by singing a lullaby at him until he has a mental breakdown and leaves (it's that kind of series), i kind of expected this. Paula prays, and as she does, various other characters in the game sense it, and they pray for you and add their strength to yours. and then, after praying a bunch of times and getting help from so many of your friends, your prayers stop working. Paula's call is absorbed by the darkness. but she tries one more time, and someone answers.

you.

the player.

the name you put in.

this was...moving. this touched me in a way that i struggle to find words for. i said in a previous post about this that after beating Earthbound, i had to go take a nap, and i wasn't kidding. it has been a week since i finished the game, and i'm still trying to process this. because they called out to me, and they did so using the name i've picked for myself. they needed me, and the me they needed is the me i've been trying to be for so long. for so long that when i first felt that longing, that feeling that i wasn't who everyone was telling me i was, i didn't have the words for it. i didn't know it was a thing i could feel. and Ness and his friends needed me. the person i want to be. the person i really am.

and my god, that just meant the world to me.

[calypsosystem]

After listening to the tme covers by chonny jash i will now assign the mental illness girlies as card suites

Heart: the suit of hearts and chalices

the chalice can hold things from water to wine, but the person wielding the cup has to be careful or else it’ll spill (its a metaphor 😳!) to empathize is important too, for as emotional as heart is, he cannot see (literally) how mind feels, or doesn’t choose to empathize with him, instead of viewing mind as “just like him but dealing with the situation in a different way” he views mind as a machine.

Mind: the suit of spades and swords

Logical and commanding, he wants actions from the heart but he won’t listen to how heart feels. like a sword, it can be used to protect those you love but again, if you aren’t careful, you can deeply wound those you love. In the mind electric, mind at the end is saying that he is trying to find a way to fix themselves and that heart is holding them back, when in reality its their lack of understanding of each other thats causing so much distress. he criticizes heart, but fails to understand that heart is only reacting to mind’s actions, and that heart is deeply wounded (and probably wants a hug ngl)

Soul: suit of spades and wands

To wield a wand is to exert control over something and use it,even if its as simple as a wand. Ego and ambition, a wand is an extension of the person’s goals and body, soul is laid back and more grey, i dont know if this is true but i kinda got the vibe that soul didn’t want to pick a side with heart or mind and thats the point, he wants them to stop, and hes doing everything he can to get them to stop. “I won’t hesitate to kill my heart and mind.” I dont think hes exaggerating, maybe its still a threat but more like a last ditch effort to get them to stop. But the fighting is not the reason they are the way they are, (atleast in my interpretation). The fighting is because of the event, trauma or whatever, it caused them so much damage that it manifested internally but i dont think Soul believes it. Soul is not targeting the actual reason mind and heart are fighting, just the fact they are fighting. He assumes the role of the self, the “true self” even tho, they are all equally themselves, just incomplete. Soul is determined but misguided. He reads to me like a parent who sent their two arguing children to their rooms when they fight, it doesn’t address the reason they fought, so it builds resentment.

Whole: the suit of diamonds and pentacles:

I’m the least familiar with whole other than the “we’re going to win” cover, but they are whole to some extent. Albeit twistedly since they end up back where they started. The opportunities are open but just out of reach before old habits start to form, the groundedness of whole is taken once again and the cycle repeats. It’s possible to be whole, but unless HMS are truly at peace with themselves then the cycle will repeat. Day and night, they can’t be okay until they truly trust and relinquish the need to control the others.

Guide sheet:

suit of spades/swords (action, logical and rational)

suit of clubs/wands (power, ego, intuition and ambition)

suit of diamonds/coins/pentacles (opportunities, practicality and grounded)

suit of hearts/chalices (emotions, opinions and being born with abilities to see things others cant)

[supersonicsteaktacular]

Some thoughts on Miraculous Ladybug in general under the cut. Don't peek if you haven't caught up because i will be discussing season 5 including the finale.

Apologies if this is an incoherent read, i'm just writing as i think, this is just going to be a total mental vomit.

Ok so i had some complicated emotions when watching the finale. It was great in a lot of ways. We had some of the best fight scenes that miraculous has ever had and some undeniably cool moments, but i can't help but feel a little let down?

I think that's partly because of how long it's taken to get here. To call the pacing in miraculous glacial would be an understatement. Nothing much happened to shake up the status quo of Ladybug and Chat Noir fighting a villain of the week for like 4 seasons. Almost everything was world -building up until Gabriel got his hands on the miraculous.

So we had a story that was going slow suddenly going at a breakneck pace in season 5. Suddenly after 4 seasons of nothing happening, everything happens at once. Gabriel is coming out and fighting the heroes personally, Ladybug and Chat Noir are making plans that very nearly beat him and Gabriel gets wounded in a way that puts a timer on the plot. Things now HAVE to start moving faster.

In addition, the love square dynamics change for the first time in the show. It took 5 seasons to do what everyone wanted since season 1. Everything was exciting again!

And then they kinda blew their load on the first jerk??

Gabriel quickly went back to his villain of the week plans, the changes to the love square came and went within the first half of the season and ended up settling on the end of the love square with the least exciting dynamic?

It's pretty telling that the Love square is the most popular hetero ship on Ao3 in terms of number of fics. It has something like 10'000 more fics than the next most popular hetero ship. The love square is exciting in a way that no other ship is and there are people more eloquent than me on here that will wax philosophic as to why that is.

So it's a tradegy that nothing really changed with the love square until 5 seasons in, and then those changes were over in a flash. Flipped Ladynoir was gone in a few episodes, Marichat fucking burned twice as bright but a half as long and poor Ladrien never got a chance. Now i do like Adrinette but it's just a typical high school romance once you take away all the rest of the love square stuff. It's cute, but guess what? So are all of the other ships that i like. They took away what made the love square exciting enough to write 35'000 fics about.

So just about the only things left by the halfway point of the season to look forward to is defeating Gabriel once and for all and an identity reveal.

And NEITHER HAPPEN.

Gabriel actually ends up winning in the end. He gets to make a wish. In the final scene i was literally saying to my screen "WHERE'S THE CATCH??" but apparently there isn't one? Turns out all that pontificating about how a wish cannot be made without a huge sacrifice was for nothing. Maybe there will be a catch but we'll have to wait and see, and who knows how long we'll have to wait to see that plot point come to fruition.

And of course there was no identity reveal. In fact Chat Noir just flat out doesn't participate in the season finale. Let me repeat that. THE AGRESTE DOESN'T PARTICIPATE IN THE FINALE OF THE AGRESTE SAGA. You deserved so much better than being locked in your schrodinger box Adrien. You absolutely should've been there to deck your father in the face.

Sorry if this has come across as a whole bunch of complaining and salt. I just needed somewhere to reconcile my own thoughts. At the end of the day i really do love Miraculous. There's a reason i've been invested since season 1, there's a reason why i've always looked forward to new episodes releasing and why i've spent the last year desperately trying to avoid spoilers. It's clearly has something special even if i can't quite put my finger on it.

[alpaca-clouds]

Why Lore needs to be Important to the DnD Franchise

Okay, I have been talking a lot on how DnD does not really make Wizards of the Coast any money, what they are doing wrong, and how the lore is not accessible. Like at all.

Today let me talk a bit quicker on why WotC really, really needs to do more with the lore. Because I have the feeling that a lot of people actually do not know that little fact about the way those things work: Chances are, that WotC cannot actually license the game mechanics of DnD.

Let me explain:

What you can license or copyright is a bit different from country to country. But in general simple game mechanics cannot be licensed. You know, stuff like the attributes, abilities and stuff like that. The concept of Strength or Charisma cannot be licensed. Nor can the concept of magic per se or the concept of stuff like persuasion.

The general idea of half of most of the classes are also too generic. You cannot license the idea of fighters, barbarians, wizards or bards. Sure, certain parts of the build of the classes can be licensed, but not the general idea. Same goes for elves, orcs, halflings and so on.

While the make up of the character sheet can be licensed and specific rules can be as well - or some of the spells. The general game mechanic cannot. Which is why there are several games that are quite similar to DnD in mechanics and general concepts.

When they put up the entire bullshit with the OGL, several lawyers were swift to argue that: "Well, actually, they will have a hard time enforcing that, and might in fact lose big, if they go after someone and the someone fights back." Some lawyers have even speculated that this kind of backlash did more to persuade them from not going through with it, rather than the boycot.

Like, don't get me wrong. If they had gone through with it and someone would have fought back, it would have been a year long expensive legal battle. But there was a good chance that especially if they went after some of the people who just made mechanics additions and that kinda homebrew content (aka stuff that build on mechanics, rather than DnD Lore)... It would have totally bitten them in the ass.

And this get's me to the point: The DnD Lore meanwhile, they can license and use to make money.

Faerûn and Toril as a setting are licensable. As are the original species of course. And the characters. You cannot license the idea of an elven ranger, but you can license Drizzt as a character. You can license the Faerûnian pantheon. You can license the story of the Second Sundering. That is stuff that you can trademark and that nobody else can work with. You can go: "Yeah, this is ours."

Which is exactly why WotC needs to do more to actually work with the lore. Because that is something that nobody can take from them. That is the stuff they actually can make money off. So, yeah, by not using it, by not getting people hooked on that lore... They actually just don't capture the market they need to capture.

As I said in the blog last week: This is why instead of alienating those big Actual Plays like Critical Role, they should work together with them. This is also, why they should work with Larian to use the attachment people have formed to the BG3 characters to implement them more into the DnD Lore, to get people hooked on that lore. Because that is, where they actually can make money.

Again, I will just repeat what I said before: I honestly do not get what WotC and Hasbro are doing there. Like, as someone who has an economics degree, I cannot wrap my head around it. Because economically it is just plain stupid.

[majorbaby]

Hawk/BJ, BJ/Trapper, and Nine/Jack/Rose for ship bingo

Hawkeye/BJ... ok, i need to explain.

This ship is real get well soon is @ me!!! Hawkeye/BJ is the bad ending of MASH and the thing that interests me the most about postwar BJ is imagining the many ways he could go to pieces. I would say the way he is frequently idealized, his flaws glossed over by the majority of his fanbase pushed me from being kinda neutral about beejhawk to leaning hard in the opposite direction. Maybe that's reactionary of me lol, but i cannot get on board with the conventional wisdom about this ship and i needed to invent a way to enjoy it so trainwreck is where ive landed.

It's cute but it's missing that something special. It's not really cute at all but it is missing something special: even more horror.

Fandom is ruining it: grain of salt - fandom ruins nothing for me i am a rock, i am an island. I wish more people wrote fucked up beejhawk that draws on BJ's in-universe flaws rather than chalking everything up to his being a repressed gay man. I love repressed gay BJ but i think the repression IS the flaw, rather than a symptom of some other flaw or societal pressure... and his problems are BJ problems, not repressed gay problems.

Dig the vibes not the ship - when BJ and Hawkeye fight they are at their most enjoyable to me. They really are 2 guys who cannot fulfill one another's needs but have to try because the alternative (isolation) is worse - i think hawkeye knows that and BJ doesnt. You can so easily make this about fucking the pain away.

BJ/Trapper 😈

I cant really use the term "OTP" seriously but ive called hawkeye/trapper my OTP but i think beejtrap is way more interesting and the reason i havent finished a fic for them is because i want to get the dynamic juuust right.

This is a real ship get well soon @ me again because it's so cracky that at one point i couldnt tell if i was being funny or sincere about them. Im sincere. You have to be sincere to think about it as much as i do...

It started out as mostly aesthetic, it is possible i just cant say no to trapper/anyone lol.

nine/jack/rose... the ship that introduced me to polyshipping. It.. kinda was canon right?

Dig the vibes not the ship, i feel this way about most dw ships since few can be endgame.

I am on the whole more interested in what they did for the story than the ship itself.

I think nine was sort of... healed by rose and jack's love for him and maybe he even needed more than one person to love him for him to get better. Like, jack repeated rose's experiment and got the same results: doctor youve done some bad things and youve lost your way but there is still good in you. It means something that before he regenerates he acknowleges the good in himself, because that's a big questionmark around the entity of the doctor. He'd clearly been mulling it over ("i'd make a bad god" and the slitheen who notes that he's a killer, just like them) and he ultimately decides that actually no, he's good (fantastic!!) and there's no ambiguity as to what he means because he feels about himself the same way he feels about rose <3

Jack kissing nine and rose in quick succession in 2009... bless.

[s0lar-ch3ri]

(spoilers for ep 33-37 of riptide, slight spoilers for the black rose pirates oneshot and maybe humble beginnings, also spoilers for after 37 up to a bit of 41, the currentone im on) more thoughts on chip and shit but all jumbled into respective categories

im just thinking about how much an impact la almas friendship with chip has on him. like when chip first met him (both in the ring and in the allyway) he had no respect for anyone else or their boundaries, seeing how he pulled off the luchador mask without thought and even drew mustashes on the posters. yet at the end, as theyre leaving, he seems to have changed, gained a better idea of how respect works (even if that idea is just in my mind I FEEL LIKE HE HAS OK). i mean, he doesn't object much with the magic compass being destroyed and takes blame for things finally (hearing him be kinda emo hurts my soul tho, blaming himself for marshal john). however, chip kinda impacted la alma, showing him even a bastard can change and how people aren't all their first impressions give them (again probs only in my mind but atfu its CANON TO ME). hes seemed to actually care about this drunk guy he met who was looking for his kid. i love the duo okay

I LOVE CHIP CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT AHHHHHHHH!!!! bizly is so good at voicing this lil bastard, he knows how to show chip so well! the whole compass thing i find really shows this, where chip is only slightly resistant to breaking the compass. in the past, he would have tried much harder to hold on to the compass, but now he gives it up with no fight, understanding that its too dangerous. granted he was quite tired and stuff, but still hes def changed for the better! now only is he owning up to problems, but hes even opening up, when before he was quite closed up and secretive (which feels atvl more healthy). hes more caring and i just love how hes improving.

speaking how hes improving, i love how bizly showed a bit of a darker side to seeing youraelf in someone, where you think too much tthat theyre you. chip sees how hes probably made his own adoptive son feel and apologizes like a responsible adult. i could ramble on and on but id be repeating the same shit over and over so i wont.

i got chip hcs cause yes: probs a trans fem but in heavy denial ("i kinda want to be a girl, but every guy gets that, right jay?" staring at him slowly nodding and confused "no chip, not every guy wants to be trans...") (also if not trans hes bigendrr, theres no way hes cis); he has a secret small rivalry with pretzel but at this point its more joking (could be fish and chips indused lol); he only doesnt have pimples now cause jay noticed he was picking at them one morning

chip cannot be straight and cis, like he has so much homo erotic tension between characters and his whole vibe is anyhring but straight

[giuilily]

"But I'm not gonna complain if it gives us the possibility of getting her back in Part 3 lol" <- agree haha I was totally ready to accept her death (tbh i did not even consider that she wouldn't die this time until people were speculating about it before rebirth's release loll) but I am happy that we may get her back and also intrigued to see how they try to tie all of this together...

I think my overall feelings on Rebirth in general will depend a lot on how game 3 ends up going. Remake I feel can stand on its own a bit better since it is so contained. But truly why did we literally fight destiny at the end of Remake if things are just going to end up the same lol what was the point of all this! It also feels quite a downer to be like well you actually cannot change fate sorry lmao nice try though.

Something that concerns me with the defying fate/destiny thing is 1. Biggs dies anyway despite being saved 2. Zack ends up facing a firing squad no matter what (when he goes looking for hojo or when he goes after Biggs, although ofc in that case he chooses to throw himself into the void instead which i suppose could be seen as a change lol) so it's like... their fate is repeating itself in these different worlds, can it be changed? (I'm still confused as to the big rainbow flash on the Biggs path when Zack chooses to go to Hojo, does that mean theres a universe where Biggs goes to the reactor and Zack doesn't follow him so Biggs.. lives in that one?)

"I'm gonna hold the devs to that since no one asked them to add in new themes to an almost 30 yo game lol." <- lmfao for real. One of my biggest concerns about this whole thing was that they were going to waaay over complicate it (looking at you kingdom hearts) and I am reserving full judgement until things are complete but I def have not had my worries assuaged yet lol

Oh yes! I forgot we saw a chihuahua/spitz plush during the date. So the terrier-verse is still around but im pretty sure Zack is no longer alive in it lol unless he got sent back there again since it is the most relevant other universe. I wonder if Aerith and Cloud will ever wake up there... (maybe Saved Aerith will wake up there? if that did not create a New stamp-verse).

I agree with you on Rebirth. I did enjoy it gameplay-wise (except the moogles they can go to hell lol) and the battle system should definitely become a staple in future numbered FFs, but narrative-wise, because it's the middle part of game, there were a lot of new set-ups along with the OG story beats that we're still waiting for the pay offs in part 3, and I think they need to make it good, otherwise, if they did all of that in Rebirth and it's just gonna be the same as OG, then they just dangled Aerith's fate for suspense and marketing and nothing else. That would be pretty disrespecftul for both the character and the fans tbh.

Hmmm... I think Biggs's situation is kinda tricky in both Pug and Terrier verse because he sorta put himself in a situation where he's tempting fate. I'm kind of leaning on him dying in Terrier too since he's already at the Mako reactor already, but maybe Zack not being there to distract him puts him less at risk of getting caught by Shinra?

Biggs' death and Zack getting pulled in situations that mirror his OG death kinda reminded me of Final Destination, but I hope Nojima wasn't watching those movies while writing the Re Trilogy lol.

I think as long as they keep on putting themselves in those situations, serving their OG purpose in the narrative and facing exactly what got them killed the first time, they're basically tempting fate to finish its job. Idk how this will all play out or how they can avoid it if they need to take action.

And I'm sure Aerith will wake up in Terrier, but I'm worried about Sephiroth hunting her down in every world she's in. Cloud might find himself waking up there as well after he falls into a coma in the main world, and probably will have dreams of the place like in Rebirth, but I'm unsure if they'll wake up at the same time or not. Ngl, I would LOVE it if we form a party with him, Aerith and Zack. The potential awkward conversations would be SO funny lol.

Honestly the new worlds are so fascinating to me because the writers aren't constrained to OG in those parts. I know they'll all eventually merge, but I can't wait to see how they'll handle them and how the game will conclude!

[augory]

and here’s the mid/late act 2 update. As a warning, much discussion of actual plot stuff. Also long lol.

Lucanis’ fade quest was so bad. I’m such a sucker for “entering the mind of a person” type of fantasy plots because they typically are filled with nuclear-level cathartic revelations. But this was so clumsy and had no emotion. Just a nothing burger of an otherwise good idea.

It bears repeating but the combat is fun and clearly so well balanced. The number of times I’ve been like “shit this is harder than I thought. I gotta focus.” or, in the last big moments of a boss fight, genuinely thought I wasn’t going to make it, only to rewardingly eek through. Clearly by design and well done.

The number of 3 minute davrin “quests” are killing me. I wouldn’t mind if everyone had an equal number of low-key quests, but it seems like davrin is always hitting me up to feed apples to his horse for 5 minutes on our veilguard lunch break

The romances…. Where to begin. This game is chaste beyond belief. I’m not asking, or even want (given BioWare’s history of kinda jank romance animation) anything elaborate. But this feels bizarrely sanitized compared to contemporary titles or even its franchise predecessors.

I romanced Emmrich as a mourn watcher and have found it overall narratively fun. I can’t get enough the haunted mansion “spooky fun” shit, I admit. I will say, it’s not very… dragon age… in tone. But I am having fun so who cares.

The emmrich plotline is good. I need to sleep on it, but overall I think it’s the best in the game because the end decision is hard and has impact. I still don’t know if I made the right choice, and it’s killing me. I think that’s the hallmark of a good, tough BioWare decision.

Lich emmrich is sooooo dos2 Fane. Absolutely no way BioWare didn’t have fane’s picture pinned to their vision board. Anyway, as a fane fan, I’m not complaining.

I will say, I don’t think making emmrich a lich is the best for the romance arc. I’m doing it, but I think it’s not going to be super narratively fulfilling. I guess we’ll see but.. yeah.

The reason the emmrich arc is good because it’s probably the best “grey morality” decision BioWare has done in a bit. Putting manfred aside, the lich path is basically a cop out for emmrich and his fear of death, even if he does technically “die” in the ritual. But then again… he does die, and is much better for it. I think the game does a good job making this a toughie.

Also lmao emmrich lich does look sick as hell.

I love neve, but her plotline villain is so unmemorable. they all deserve a Johanna-level villain counterpart. Illario is also kind of boring I’m sorry

Bellara… more than ever I feel you are Merrill reboot. I like you so much, but I cannot disentangle my bitterness that Merrill is not in the game as a cameo. (It’s because Merrill would unfuck so many plot points…. )

I like all the titan and Harding plotlines. Good and interesting, no notes

I have a lot of opinions on taash, which are basically impossible to articulate. Their identity, and relationship with their mother hits very close to home. I don’t like hearing people say their dialogue/arc is hamfisted, because I’ve lived those conversations word for word. I think it’s really great that my exact lived experienced now exists, immortalized in a fantasy video game. But it’s also really weird to watch and not… fun. For me personally.

I’m not really sure if maybe this is a first playthrough thing, but it seems like companion bond is really uneven. Like I barely take Harding anywhere because her bond is always so high comparatively, but it feels like I’m always dragging taash everywhere for approval

here’s a big long read more of all my veilguard thoughts that I’m just going to update periodically. spoilers ahead 🫡

20 hours:

It’s a good game! I’m having tons of fun with the combat especially and love I can respec for free. I’m seeing so much negativity on here and I’m not sure I get it. Obviously not everything is perfect, but overall a perfectly good time

It’s extremely funny they made solas have way more chemistry with rook than lavellan. sometimes things that are a little antagonistic are hotter!

Locking me out of side quests on the Treviso/minrathous decision without warning pissed me off soooo bad. I was racing to get all the companions and was going to go back and do companion quests and now I missed out. Biggest complaint so far

Some of the abilities are just loud and bright and don’t have the dramatic weight of some spells in prior games. So far nothing feels as good as like conjuring a blizzard or fist of the maker, etc

Taash I was unfamiliar with your game…. Unexpectedly one of my fave companions

I feel like I spend 80% of my time obsessively breaking crates and I wish I wasnt… but it’s objectively not a waste of time technically so I can’t stop. I wish they hadn’t implemented this loot mechanic tbh

I don’t think the dialogue is bad but I get why people aren’t enjoying it. It’s very very polished and can sometimes feel a little inorganic. This is why I really like taash I think

Laughed out loud when I realized the gift giving cutscenes were literally just the companion saying “thanks” and then done

I can’t believe I can’t dye armor in this game. Crazy oversight

I like bellara but like. We have Merrill at home… (this was not my first impression but as time went on there are so many eerie narrative similarities she feels like a soft reboot of my girl)

Mae looked so good, and Dorian was fine. Isabela….. no comment

The heavy incorporation of your background into so many interactions is powerful! Really good stuff there

25 hours

The characterization on assan and davrin is so funny. Like, they really gave the grey warden a narrative you’d find in a horse girl movie lmao

I feel like these maps are more confusing and overwhelming than any open world map could ever hope to be

That said, I am enjoying doing the side quests and whatnot more than expected. Usually just the right size and length to be fun without overstaying their welcome

I also think the exploration puzzles are generally well done. Not hard enough to be frustrating (usually) but enough to make you feel a small sense of accomplishment for completing them. They are fairly repetitive though

I really like that you can increase your bond with companions just by taking them on missions. That feels very natural to me

Am I supposed to care about any of these recurring faction NPCs lol

I got my specialization and those spells seem to have more of the “heft” I was looking for in terms of feeling cool/powerful to cast

[booksandothersecrets]

Hi hello good afternoon I am supplying you with wlw book recs because we all deserve them. Please reblog with your own recs because I’ve only been reading sapphic books for a few months so haven’t covered loads of amazing ones, and hopefully this can become a massive rec list of wlw books :)

Also please please please check the TWs for all of these so that you can stay happy, healthy and safe 💗.

Fantasy:

- The Priory of the Orange Tree: [“We may be small, and we may be young, but we will shake the world for our beliefs”] Look I know you’ve all heard of it. Now read it. Swords. Queer women. Queer women with swords. Dragons. Castles. Battles. Many many many pages of beautiful words. There is nothing missing from this book.

- Cinderella is Dead: [“I don't want to be saved by some knight in shining armour. I'd like to be the one in the armour, and I'd like to be the one doing the saving.”] Fuck the patriarchy. Dystpian. Gay. Fantasy. Cinderella is dead (wow). Badass main character. Fighting for rights and fighting for eachother. 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

- Girls of Paper and Fire: [“Instead of disappearing, she makes me feel reappeared. Reimagined. Her touch shapes me, draws out the boldness that had been hiding in my core.”] We said learning to heal! We said finding safety in eachothers arms! We said fighting the oppressive government! We said fuck the patriarchy! We said fantasy women with swords! We said (kinda) enemies to lovers! We said please check the trigger warnings for this book!

- A Dark and Hollow Star: [“The number one law of the universe is choice, after all — bad things happen to the people who take that option away from you.”] Fantasy that actually uses the words bisexual and lesbian and gay and genderfluid!!! Urban fantasy. Four main characters: two mlm, two wlw. Swords and monsters and fae and powers and tension and fate. Read for the pretty cover, stay for the characters.

- Gideon the Ninth: [“I cannot conceive of a universe without you in it”] This book is dark and horror-y and gory and weird as fuck. This book has skeletons and necromancy and a huge weird haunted house and everyone dying under mysterious circumstances. This book has enemies to i-dont-even-know-what. You will not know what is happening in this book but you will love it. Trust me.

Dystopian:

- We Set the Dark on Fire: [“Maybe this was trust ... Giving someone the power to ruin you, betting your life on the belief that they wouldn't.”] once again, repeat after me: fuck the patriarchy. Rebellion. Enemies to lovers. Dystopian world where every man gets two wives. Guess what happens 👀

Contemporary:

- The Henna Wars: [“I've never really thought about having a type. I guess my type is....beautiful girl. Which is a lot of them. Most of them? Pretty much all girls”]. Girl dealing with the aftermath of coming out to her parents has a crush on a girl who is competing against her in a school competition. Main character is muslim, bangladeshi and lesbian and love interest is black, brazilian and bisexual. Just read it. Don’t do it for me. Do it for yourself. You deserve to smile.

- Her Royal Highness: [“PERRY I’VE FOUND AN AMERICAN!”] Look this book may be cliche and predictable and a little ridiculous at times but it made me unfathomably happy so I don’t care. Scottish boarding school+royalty+an american. Enemies to lovers but not im-gonna-stab-you enemies to lovers (which ive read my fair share of truet me), more like why-are-you-so-unbearably-irritating enemies to lovers you know?

- Written in the Stars: [“I’ll break into your apartment and move everything three inches to the left and fuck with your flow, okay?”] Good, solid contemporary new adult romance. Enemies to lovers. Grump x sunshine. Actually has a sex scene (this might not be everyones thing i just noticed wlw books often skirt around them so thought id point it out). Ugh its just so cute.

- You Should See Me In a Crown: [“When I open my mouth, everything happens so fast—the way I can feel her everywhere, the way my hands steady instead of shake where they tangle in her hair because I’ve maybe never felt so grounded before, so rooted in a moment”] What happens when a Black queer girl tries for prom queen in a weird, cliquey prom-obsessed school? What happens when one of the other competitors is the unabashedly gay cute new girl? This is what happens. Guys. Guys. Guys. Read this one oh my god. I say this about every book but seriously READ THIS ONE. So so so so so good. Everything you could ever want in a queer coming of age book.

- The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo: [“You do not know how fast you have been running, how hard you have been working, how truly exhausted you are, until someone stands behind you and says, “It’s OK, you can fall down now. I’ll catch you.”] I know you’ve all heard this but you’re about to hear it again. Queer women in the 50s? Sign me up! Sign yourself up! Buy this book and then read this book! Freak out about this book! Cry about this book! Tell everyone you’ve ever met to read this book! Cry some more about this book! Make this book your whole personality!

Thriller(?):

- The Girls I’ve Been: [“There is no normal. There is just a bunch of people pretending there is. There's just different levels of pain. Different stages of safe. The biggest con of all is that there's a normal.”] Thriller. Guns. Menstrual cups. Con artists. That awkward moment when you’re stuck in a bank robbery with two murderous men, a child, your ex boyfriend and your current girlfriend. Not romance but has romantic themes (established relationship). Coming to terms with childhood trauma and abuse. This book is short but deceptively heavy with the themes it deals with so, again, please check the TWs.

Ones on my TBR:

- Last Night at the Telegraph Club

- The Miseducation of Cameron Post

- A Memory Called Empire

- This Is How You Lose the Time War

- Girl, Serpent, Thorn

- This Poison Heart

- One Last Stop

- She Who Became The Sun (omg i want to read this so so so badly)

- The Weight of the Stars

- These Feathered Flames

- Honey Girl

- The Chosen and the Beautiful

- She Drives Me Crazy

[teklarn]

I NEED A PART TWO FOR BAUKGOU’S AWKWARD CONFESSION!!

𝓫𝓻𝓾𝓽𝓪𝓵 - 𝓴. 𝓫𝓪𝓴𝓾𝓰𝓸𝓾 𝓹𝓽. 2

character(s): katsuki bakugou x fem!reader

a/n: k the first one kinda blew up and i've been on tumblr for like a week and it made me rly happy receiving the requests ty <33 thank u for all the reblogs too !! this is a bit later than i hoped it would come out b/c half of the original fic was deleted by accident, but i’m on summer break until sept 5 so hopefully i’ll still update frequently. 

𝕣𝕖𝕓𝕝𝕠𝕘𝕤 𝕒𝕣𝕖 𝕘𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕥𝕝𝕪 𝕒𝕡𝕡𝕣𝕖𝕔𝕚𝕒𝕥𝕖𝕕!

summary: bakugou finds he’s rejecting his feelings for you in fear of becoming weak, however he just can’t seem to ignore you. 

genre: lil angsty, fluffy at the end

warnings: cursing, one-sided pining, gave reader a quirk, the fighting scene is bs i cannot write action scenes at all im so sorry lol,  second hand embarrassment for our dearest dynamight :(

word count: 2507

pls don't mind any typos! i try to edit to the best of my ability but i tend to type fast and i might miss a few or a lot of things. 

- - -

read part one here my loves !!

you found yourself bored, cheeks puffing out as you swirled around the drink in your glass cup, sitting across from midoriya. he was muttering again, which you’d always found cute, however you weren’t listening this time at all. 

part of the reason you’d rejected bakugou was due to the fact midoriya had requested your attention first, and not as friends. if you’d told bakugou that, it would just wound his delicate ego on top of the fact that you truly had no interest in him whatsoever. 

at the moment, though, he was the only thing on your mind. there was no sudden spark of attraction you’d felt when he’d confessed. of course, anyone would find it flattering that the katsuki bakugou found you attractive. his standards were higher than the clouds. 

at the moment, it felt like something was blocking your chest from feeling something for him, however you couldn’t pinpoint what it was. 

“—it was amazing, right, y/n? y/n?” 

your eyes flickered up to meet the emerald, wide-eyed eyes of your friend. you contemplated lying, but it was no use. shaking your head softly and pursing your lips, you set your drink down. “i’m sorry, midoriya. i’m just kind of...out of it, i guess you could say?” 

he cocked his head to the side. “’out of it’?” he repeated. 

“yeah,” you sighed, head pounding. 

“is everything alright? maybe today isn’t the best time for this.” 

“yeah,” you agreed. “maybe.” 

“do you want to go back to the dorms?” 

you nodded, massaging your temples. “yeah, yeah let’s go home.” 

midoriya let out a soft chuckle through his nose, smiling. “alright.” he offered his hand, and you gladly let him heave you up. 

“i’m sorry about this. honestly, midoriya, i enjoy your company, i really do. but i never assumed you’d catch feelings for me too—” 

“too?” he blinked. the two of you continued on your way back to Heights Alliance. 

you gulped. “yeah, there’s—” 

“are you saying you caught feelings for me, as well?”

your eyes fell blank, lips parting in question. “no, uh. you know what? never mind.” you giggled gently in hopes the two of you would laugh it off without another thought. perhaps you should keep you and bakugou’s quiet interaction to yourself. midoriya and bakugou were already rivals enough. 

- 

the following week was agonizing in many ways. sitting beside bakugou guaranteed that you would get strange, judgmental looks. it never guaranteed his stolen glances. when you’d catch him staring, his cheeks would flare up, and you swore he had smoke puffing out his ears. 

each time, he looked as if he would explode. what can you expect from a guy like him? 

it was easy to assume you’d just pissed him off, though. you weren’t the type of person to tell everyone you’d been asked out, but you needed to speak to someone about it. the thought had been nagging you, stuck at the back of your mind but just on the tip of your tongue. 

you even found that you were distancing yourself from midoriya, who, after asking you out, had insisted you begin calling him izuku. over everyone else, you’d choose him to speak to about the matter, but ever since you’d discovered he had feelings all along, it was strange being around him. 

you viewed him differently. he shot you glimmering smiles and blushed softly when you said his first name. 

“y/n?” 

you twisted around to see mina rocking on her heels behind you. “yes?” 

“are you okay? you seem...how do i put this.” she tapped a pink finger against her lips. “off. you seem off. is everything alright?” 

your brows raised. “oh, yeah. i’m good. thanks for checking in.” 

“is there anything you want to talk about?” she adjusted her hero costume. you and the rest of the girls were currently changing for another training exercise. 

yaoyorozu fixed her hero costume. “i don’t mean to impose on anything, but i have to agree with mina, y/n. of course, there’s no pressure to tell us anything. you’re under no obligation to unless you need and want to talk to someone, but we’re here if you need us, okay?” 

you nodded, smiling softly. “thanks you guys.” 

- 

it was the same training as before, however you were able to select a partner of your own. being that there were 21 students in the class, there was always ought to be a group of three, or one person left out. you’d come into yuuei out of pure luck, as some like to put it. 

you’d found it offensive they’d assumed it was that and not your own pure skill. it’d taken a while to re-convince yourself that you were worthy of being in the class, even if you were usually the odd one out. 

most students had already bonded by the time you arrived here, so finding a partner wasn’t always easy. once you and midoriya had gotten close, you two did most things together, however at the moment, you weren’t quite feeling it. 

surprisingly, your eyes caught bakugou standing alone, eyes scanning the room for a partner. kirishima must have partnered up with another friend, then. it was always them together. 

unfortunately, you weren’t quick enough to avoid either of them. bakugou was already trotting up to you, eyes locked on your figure just as midoriya began jogging to your side. 

in perfect unison, they asked, “be my partner?” (in two very different tones, of course.) 

you blinked between them, about to answer when aizawa came up behind you three. 

“are you guys in the group of three?” your teacher deadpanned. 

your shoulders slumped. “yeah, i guess so.” 

“get to work. you’ve already wasted five minutes standing around.” 

you nodded politely. “yes, sensei.” 

you swallowed. bakugou’s crimson gaze was pinning you in your spot, and midoriya’s lips thinned with a lack of enthusiasm when bakugou looked back at him. 

“get to work, you three,” aizawa repeated, walking away. 

“i can take on both of you.” bakugou cracked his knuckles. 

you clenched your fists. “we already know you’re at the top of the class, bakugou. there’s no need to rub it in our faces.” 

he averted his eyes, cheeks flushing red. it was like a sad, silly way of letting you know you won this fight. 

“i’ll go against you two,” you said, adjusting your hero costume. 

midoriya’s eyes widened. “what? y/n, but—” 

“but i’m not strong enough?” you finished for him. you knew where they ranked in strength, and while yours was just as powerful, if you let one thing slip, your arrows would disappear and you’d be dust. “that’s exactly my point, you two are practically at the top of the class with your quirks.” 

“tch, don’t hold back,” bakugou said, readying himself. 

“don’t go easy on me,” you mocked. 

“y/n, do you really think this is a good idea—” before izuku could finish, you and bakugou launched yourselves at one another. 

you charged forwards. an arrow flew from your hand, twisting its way right through the smoke of an explosion. when it cleared, bakugou was nowhere to be seen. 

a gasp fell from your lips as you turned around just a little too late. your ears rang terribly as your back collided with the ground. 

izuku cried out. green lightning flashed, and he was at your side in a moment. “kacchan!”

you groaned, sitting up. bakugou cut through the smoke with an arm. “fight me, damned nerd. there aren’t any pauses in a real fight.” 

you wriggled yourself away from midoriya. “midoriya, you’re my enemy in this.” 

“bu—” 

“no buts. fight me. and don’t hold back.” 

midoriya noted the determination in your eyes and stood, giving you a sure nod. you were back on your feet in a second. bakugou flew in the air and came crashing down just as fast as he conjured a blast in his right hand. 

attacking wasn’t your best option right now. you were smart enough to know that. an arrow appeared flat at your back and pulled you from where bakugou was targeting. 

cement flew into the air. 

that blast could have wounded you badly. possibly killed you, if he’d hit the right spots. 

in the air, you examined their zealous features. midoriya’s brows were furrowed in that determined smolder. 

bakugou, as always, looked angry. as expected, he charged first, shooting himself into the air. his foot nearly collided with your face, missing my barely an inch. you took your shot, revealing the arrow you’d hidden behind your back. the tip collided with his chest. 

you left the arrow to complete its command and stick your blonde opponent to the wall and trap him there while you went after midoriya. 

while he bested you in strength, you did the same to him when it came to speed. you dodged his punches like they were weak attempts at hitting a ball in a park. 

you grinned. in a battle of strength and speed, whoever landed the first hit would win. there was no question. 

twisting in the air, you allowed the ball of your foot to shove midoriya to the ground. he cried out as his face was crushed into the cement. 

it was perfect timing, as bakugou ripped free of your hold, the arrow keeping him in one spot dissolving into air as soon as its purpose was lost. 

your head whipped around to see him charging for you. 

your fingers curled. the headache pounding at your temples was beginning to get hard to ignore. 

bakugou launched himself at you, spinning in the air like a missile. he really wasn’t going to howitzer you...right? 

when he didn’t slow down, you threw your body to the right, the attack just barely missing your leg. it scorched a bit of your thigh. a groan fell from your lips as you cupped the area around the burn, shuddering with pain. 

bakugou’s chest was puffed proudly as he marched up to you, hands cracking with excited explosions. 

he pulled back his right arm, ready to spark up another fight as midoriya recollected himself. you bit your lip to hide the fact you were quivering. 

it was sudden, but bakugou paused when he saw your hand fly up. 

“give me a minute...” you gasped out, skin still sizzling. 

“y/n! are you alright?” 

you didn’t respond. midoriya smacked his friend’s arm. “kacchan! what’re you thinking?”

“midoriya, i’m fine. don’t stress over it.” you limped to your feet, rejecting the extended hand from your green-haired friend. “i’ll just go see recovery girl.” 

“do you need—” 

you smacked midoriya’s hand away, a little bit more rude than you intended it to be. “i’ll be...fine.” you offered a weak smile to hopefully make up for your tiny outburst. 

although you could see in his eyes he wanted to help, midoriya nodded and stood by, hand falling back to his side. you clutched around the patch of burned skin. the sting had faded a bit, however there was a soreness to the wound that felt like a constant stabbing to your leg. 

you swallowed the pain down, marching towards the exit with determination and a bit of a limp.

you looked back to see midoriya had gone off to tell mr. aizawa what was going on. your teacher nodded, understandingly. 

there were a few worried glances and offers for help in the hall, but you’d neglected them all and found yourself relieved to see recovery girl in her office, typing away. 

she turned as the door opened. “please knock beforehand next time—oh, dear. y/n? are you alright?” 

you gave a tense nod. “mhm. just got a bit banged up in training today.” 

the old woman pursed her lips, smile lines becoming evident. “i see.” she led you to the small cot reserved for patients such as yourself and directed you to sit down. 

she examined the bruise. “it’s fairly bad. what happened?” 

you made a gesture to the door. “i was brawling with bakugou and things got...intense.” 

“that boy has quite an extreme side to him, as i’ve come to notice.” 

“mhm,” you agreed. 

“unfortunately, y/n, i have no ointments to be able to treat this properly.” 

you nodded sheepishly before the old woman smooched your cheek. a soft green glow radiated around you. 

when she pulled back, she said, “now, your body will be trying to catch up on the healing process. that’s what my quirk does. speed up recoveries. since it’s sped up, you’ll require some rest, preferably sleep. i’ll make sure your teachers know you’re excused for the rest of the day, sound good?” 

“yes, thank you recovery girl.” 

she pushed herself out of her rolling chair and left the room, smiling at you.

your eyes fluttered shut not long after that. 

- 

the sun was gone when you woke up, the hallway light flickering off. 

“good, you’re awake.” 

you looked to the left. you cried out, gathering the white sheets around yourself despite being completely clothed. “bakugou! what the hell? you stalker! you creep!” 

bakugou took the slap you gave him on his arm. it was light, and didn’t do much damage. 

“what...what do you want?” 

even in the dark, you could tell bakugou’s cheeks were burning red. “about...about the other day. i wanted to talk to you about it.” 

your chest fluttered in unwanted hope. “there’s nothing to talk about.” 

“dammit, y/n, i wish there wasn’t anything to talk about. you’re insufferable and annoying and i can’t stand being around you because no matter what’s going on, you make my chest feel all funny. it’s stupid, and i can’t take my eyes off of you.” 

heat rushed to your cheeks. “i’m flattered, really. but i-” 

“i’m not asking you to reciprocate my shitty feelings. if anything, it’s better if you don’t.” 

“bakugou, i wasn’t...” you paused. 

“you what?” he snapped, voice soft despite his tone. 

“i was going to say that ever since you...ever since you asked me out, i’ve been conflicted about my own feelings.” 

“the hell is that supposed to mean?” 

“i’m not sure if i like you back or not, bakugou. but hearing you say all this...makes me want to give it a shot. sort of. also, why the hell are you watching me sleep?” 

bakugou swept hair from his eyes. “don’t go and try to change the subject on me, dumbass.” 

you gulped. 

“so what’re you saying?” 

“i’m saying,” you started, “i’m saying that maybe i want to go out on that date with you.” 

“say it again.” 

“what?” you looked up, his eyes boring into yours. 

“i said i want you to say it again. tell me you want to go out on a date with me.” 

it startled you how sure he was when he knew what you wanted, too. this was unlike the last attempt to ask you out. 

“katsuki bakugou, i want to go on a date with you.” 

he grinned. “where to?”

[marshmallowprotection]

Hi! I really love your work and this is kinda my first request on like... anything, so I'm sorry if it's going to be akward/weird. But I was wondering if you could write a scenario where MC would be very close to crying, but they try to hold back, because they were taught not to. Yk like parents used to say because it's "weak" or "bad" or anything along those lines. I just wanted to know how Suit saeran would react to that, because he has kind of a similar mentality to not show weakness but a lot more of it.

Suit Saeran is the kind of person that would use your weaknesses against you the minute that he finds them out. It's not the best part about his personality but it's something that you have to acknowledge about him in the long run especially before he's able to manifest an apology. 

His issue is that he's been taught and made to believe that the only way that you can survive in this world as if you make sure that everybody is afraid of you and understands that they cannot strike first. He believes that he’s got to do this for the sake of his existence. He is unstable. He is unruly. He only knows how to go forward 

If he is able to make everybody so afraid of him before they can ever think of being menacing to him, it means that not only will he be protected, but it means that Ray will be protected too. His goal is to protect them but the means in which he does it isn't correct. There is a problem with this sentiment. A lot of what he is saying is projection of words that he knows were said to him. 

He is repeating those words without completely realizing that they're meant for him and not for you. It's a mess in reality. It’s not going to help him make sense of things. It’s not going to take away the fear that he’s felt and that he’s trying so hard to hide. It’s just going to burn him up inside. He can’t escape that pain he feels. 

It's just not something that he has the ability to recognize in the midst of being trapped in this culture. He doesn't realize the extent. Just in the sense that he's looking for a reaction, it doesn't really matter if you cry or don't respond. Nothing is going to make him happy or feel better at the end of the day. He needs to be able to fight it properly. Because it doesn't know what he wants and he doesn't know what he needs. He just knows that he's angry and he has to protect them.

So, say that you’re in tears because you can’t handle the things he’s saying. If he gets you to choke out why it upsets you so much, it’s going to leave him in a state of confusion. He doesn’t think that you know what suffering he is. He does think that you’ve lived a good life because you’re a nice person. He’s got this idea in his head that people who are hurt become cruel and twisted, and that’s everything to do with upbringing. 

If you’ve been hurt and you turned out good... what the hell does that make him? It shatters everything that he’s used to survive this long in the pain, and now he has nothing to show for his suffering. Was there really no point for him to do what he did? Was he wrong? Was the Savior wrong? It dismantles the fabric of his reality without failure. He thought that he was capable and strong because he did this, but now he’s not so sure. 

His reaction is to leave you. He can’t even bring himself to scream at you at that moment. He would see a vision of a young Saeran, screaming and crying for his mother to stop hurting him when he looked at you, and that’s all that he can take from this. He leaves you and it likely takes the chain of events that leads to him fighting Mint Eye. 

[katerinaaqu]

Oh my gosh girl ✨️✨️✨️✨️🫶✨️✨️✨️✨️ why do you always shoot me in the feels?! ❤️🫂

Yeah I thought it would be impactful since the deaths and sadness he was directly or indirectly involved somehow matched some of the most important people of his life and man that would surely hurt tons!

Oh my for real and I believe in his sadness his brain set aside ONE person he was supposed to curse upon; himself. The whole Trojan war business kinda happened because of his idea! Man I love it how the entire Odysseus saga involves Odysseus shooting himself in the foot whenever he has an idea! Which is the same concept I followed here. Because the Trojan war became an all-greek fight bevause of Odysseus. Basically when he was a suitor to Helen he realized he probably didn't have as many hopes as the other kinds plus his eye caught a lovely and modest maiden by the name of Penelope. In order to get her father (or stepfather if her father was Zeus) Tyndareous say a good word about him to his cousin and father to Penelope Icarius, he suggested a solution to Tyndareus's dilemma in regards to whether the other kings would get offended if Helen chose one of them so Odysseus suggested an oath with which all kings would swear to come to assist the husband of Helen (thus making her equal to the protection of her honor). Of course she chose Menelaus but then when she left with Paris Menelaus used the oath to gather them all up. So if you think about it the only reason Odysseus was there in the first place was...Odysseus himself! And boy he surely doesn't want to think about it! AWW Girl you are always so cute! 🫶

It is a little all of the above I think. Leaving Odysseus alone with his thoughts is dangerous, leaving depressed Odysseus alone with his thoughts is lethal, leaving a drunk depressed Odysseus alone with his thoughts might as well be a ticking atomic bomb! Hehe but yeah initially I think Polites knew if he weren't there to be a bit the voice of his consciousness then Odysseus would get wasted (which kinda happened) and put some embarrassment to himself considering the negative connotations with drunkenness. Plus sure maybe he thought if something came up Odysseus wouldn't be in a state yo stand up to himself etc. Oh man for sure Odysseus was probably pretty much drunk and crying and being messy for sure not a sight to make you feel assured. Yeah I figured he would say something like that since people keep saying how wise he is and all and right now Odysseus just doesn't feel it characterizes him at all...

Oh yeah for sure. Odysseus no longer cares for proprietors and all. He wants something to drown himself into.

Awww thanks! Technically this story takes place immediately after the taking of Troy so he had spent almost an entire night in the horse and another night plundering and the day of clearing tye mess up and all but man I am sure indeed he keeps seeing the battle before him on constant repeat even in his wide awake state! Yet alone sleep! Gosh girl! 😭😭😭

It wouldn't be the first time. Technically the whole Odyssey is how all his men got punished for a hubris he committed! Imagine now! He definitely is frightened that nemesis would fall upon them! For real though. I took inspiration by another amazing blogger here who basically said "Odysseus doesn't fight to win. He fights to leave". Basically his goal was the damn war finally to be over so that he could return home! Gosh...😢

Oh yeah like eveey person would want to congratulate the man who inspired a successful plan but yeah boy oh boy couldn't they have been more wrong! Oh man you are so right he is so self-hating at that point! And yeah imagine if he actually WENT home and Telemachus like age 10-11 asked him about it... (which again is the reason I imagine Odysseus cried when listening to the songs of war in Pheakes Island. Not only because of his nostalgia but because the war was never pleasant to begin with!)

Yeah they cannot understand where his problem is but man poor guy...

Yeah I doubt anyone could face his intense stare at that moment! And yeah technically both were punished. Agamemnon was killed by his own wife and Odysseus suffered for 10 long years after losing everything so in a way this was a wink to mythology. And yeah undoubtedly war has so many losses! It is never truly about winning and losing!

Oh yeah absolutely. Agamemnon simply doesn't want to think about it! While Odysseus overthinks and internalizes everything Agamemnon doesn't want to contemplate it so deeply even if he knows Odysseus is right.

Yeah in the Odyssey he speaks with the warmest words of him and in Iliad he said he is irreplaceable more or less so I kept the same feeling and he is more sympathetic here and can see his struggles. Yeah he probably was A LOT sarcastic poor man and yeah he probably looked really really bad!

For real that was exactly what I was aiming for! He doesn't deny his part of his spoil (I thought it would be unrealistic and it would turn him way too goodie goodie guy and it ain't him) but he still doesn't want to choose and relish himself indeed! For real! Dark humor not really working now!

Awww 😍 I am glad you liked it! That was what I aimed for: that Odysseus would have at least some ray of sunshine after all this to put his heart a bit at ease. For real sometimes one word is enough! 🥺✨️

Gosh that was indeed the hardest part for me to write because man he has 10 more years before he can embrace them after that point! Like for real poor man!

Awww thanks! Somehow I thought it would fit to open with Odysseus and Polites and close with Odysseus and Polites on a different manner! Aww for sure finally he can rest a bit!

Awww 😍 🫶❤️💋💕🥰✨️

Hahahahahaha seeing our favorite boys as one somehow makes us a bit prejudiced doesn't it?! Hahaha but for sure it doesn't work for me hahaha Neoptolemus suits better

Hahahaha either way it is a bit gruesome! Like Hecuba yells in Eurypedes tragedy "her being a slave to a dead man!" Like it surely sounds a bit creepy hahahaha 😆 but yeah no matter how pragmatic and logical it sounded initially to Odysseus's mind to kill them when he comes before the actual thing I would imagine he would have his initial determination bend a bit.

Yeah for Greeks drinking pure wine was more something foreigners did. There was this detail about some common breakfast in ancient Greece that was basically bread dipped in wine.

Awwww thanks dear ✨️🙏

Hahanahahaha yeah that was definitely a moment from 8 to 80 in Iliad hahahaha 😆 😂 😆

"Grabbed Odysseus by the balls" is now my officially favorite comment about that moment and man why do I even visualize it and not just seeing it as a metaphor?! Hahahaha because it is just too good to ignore hahaha (or the thought in the back of my head Odysseus turning into Scar mode and grab Palamedes only to push him under again! Like "my son won't save you now!" Hahahaha sorry!)

Yeah Andromache basically found someone to blame and in a way she wasn't entirely wrong given that even the concept of the war happened bevause of Odysseus in the first place! 🤯 but still!

For real I thought that a baby that can talk a bit might strike much deeper! 😭😭😭

For real that scene was so powerful so I immediately got inspired for this! 💔

Yeah as I mentioned above I somehow thought this would fit!

Awww girl as always you give me so awesome reviews! I am so glad you enjoyed it!

Continuing from Part 2

Guilt (P3 + Footnotes)

"Odysseus" Meriones approached him, "Are you alright?"

Odysseus winced in pain. He hadn't realized he had clenched his fist so hard that it hurt him. He unclenched it.

"Yes..." he whispered, "Yes, I'm fine..."

Odysseus moaned. That baby...the look at that infant's face...Astyanax was gone...he had given his place to Telemachus. Priam's slain face was Laërtes...mourning Andromache was his wife... He grasped his head with both hands.

"Damn you Neoptolemus! Damn you Helen for starting it! Damn you Menelaus for dragging me into this... Damn you Palamedes! Damn you all! Why should I have taken this blood upon me?! Why did it have to be me?!"

He sighed.

"Polites...I want to be alone for a little while..."

"Do you think that is wise...?" Polites asked with hidden meaning.

"Wise!" Odysseus voiced like an echo, "No, perhaps not but I got tired of being wise for now..."

Polites sighed.

"At least add some water to your wine...please Odysseus"

Odysseus dismissed him with a move of his hand. He wasn't much in the mood for anything at that moment. He knew war wouldn't be pleasant but these events of just one night were taking the cake. He was exhausted; sleepless for two nights and a full day and right now the Sacker of Cities, the Man of Many Ways was terrified. He collapsed again and his tears overflowed from his eyes, wetting the table below. He grasped his wet hair with his fingers as if he was ready to uproot them.

"Gods! Please Athena, please, I beg of you...if you love me...p-protect my son! Let the miasma fall on me! Not him! I-I...I just wanted to g-go home! I just wanted to see them again...my Penelope...my Telemachus...! I-I never meant for this to happen! P-Please...! I beg of you if you love me...p-protect my son! Don't let the gods' wrath fall upon their heads! P-Please...! F-Forgive me! I...I just...I just wanted to go home!"

He couldn't decide what to pray for first... Words cascaded out of his mouth without any coherent way or syntax. He only prayed desperately, wetting with his tears the table. Sun was already setting and Troy was taken...but at what cost...

*

Menelaus and Agamemnon entered Odysseus's hut one after the other.

"I gotta give it to you, Odysseus!" Agamemnon said, "You WERE telling the truth when you said you could take Troy in one night!"

Odysseus was collapsed upon his chair, looking at them with an unreadable expression to his face. The jug was resting empty somewhere after the feet of his seat.

"Hm..." he hummed, "That's me. I am the trickster, remember? I lie, I scheme and I trick. That is what I do"

Agamemnon raised a brow.

"Are you drunk?!" He asked in disbelief

"One more shame to add to the events of this night..." Odysseus replied bitterly.

"Shame? I do not understand. We finally sacked the city. You can finally go home."

"Home..." Odysseus whispered, "I wonder...what shall I say to Penelope when she asks? Or Telemachus? If he asks 'father what did you do and you were away?', 'I was at war, my son', 'did you fight honorably and sack many cities?'... What shall I say for what we've done...?"

"I do not understand you Odysseus. It was your idea"

"Yeah somehow I do not doubt it..." Odysseus mumbled bitterly, "I was wrong, Agamemnon. This was not what I imagined...what I planned..."

He sighed shifting his position a bit to his chair.

"Priam is dead, you know that..."

"Yeah, like we expected to-..."

"On the altar. On the freaking altar, Agamemnon..."

"Yeah I heard..."

"Imagine that happening to any of us...in our homelands. If one cannot respect the holy laws then what?"

He played a bit with his empty cup.

"Priam murdered on the altar...Cassandra raped mercilessly and now Ajax looks for shelter to the very same altar he dragged her out of, to avoid being stoned to death..." the king of Ithaca rubbed the bridge of his nose, "...death...death and fire everywhere..."

"Odysseus..." spoke Menelaus, "I understand that you are grieving, it was not easy or pleasant but..."

"The boy...he was the same age as my son! Thrown off the wall..."

"Odysseus" Agamemnon spoke again, "I honestly don't understand you. Others would fly from joy with your glory. You had a good plan and it worked. Thanks to you we can all go home."

Odysseus's eyes became bottomless. Even Agamemnon had to lower his gaze against it.

"The blasphemy put us under the anger of gods, Agamemnon. Remember that. Listen..."

Agamemnon seemed like indeed trying to listen something.

"The Trojans are not the only ones mourning. We lost many good men too. We lost Achilles. Or have you forgotten?"

Agamemnon sighed deeply.

"His loss...was tragic indeed" he finally said, "we had our differences but his loss was a great price..."

"Quite so..." Odysseus whispered, "was it really worth it? The price we had to pay to sack Troy?"

He shifted his weight to his chair lethargically. He rubbed his forehead with his free hand for a second. The dizziness bad settled for real in his brain. He leaned his head back again, earning a small cracking sound from his neck.

"And since we are at it, I have a question for you, Agamemnon, son of Atreus, the first among the Greeks... What did the Trojans REALLY do to us to deserve such an end?"

"You're drunk! You don't know what you're talking about!"

Odysseus snorted humorlessly.

"Oh, I am drunk, alright. But I know exactly what I am talking about. And you do too. They took Helen, sure, or at least one of them did. But their real crime against us was that they protected their lands...from us. That's what we would have done as well..."

Agamemnon was ready to speak again but Menelaus stopped him.

"Brother, that's enough"

He then turned ti Odysseus sympathetically.

"Look, Odysseus, I understand that it hurts and I am sorry too that I put you through that indirectly, but please do not melt away. No matter what the actions of others was not your choice."

Odysseus said nothing. He only sighed.

"Will you join us at the games later? You are the hero of the day. Your presence is asked for."

Odysseus scoffed.

"Oh I will be there, alright. I never miss a good party!"

Menelaus smiled sadly.

"Thank you, Odysseus...for everything. I really mean it... I will see you later, when you sober up a little..."

He looked at his friend and added;

"And...we shall mention none...of this" he pointed at him indicating his condition.

Odysseus soullessly nodded as if wanting to attempt some humor.

"Thanks...I appreciate it"

Agamemnon was ready to say something but apparently he decided against it. He only sighed and turned to leave before finally asking;

"Will you come to take a pick from the spoils? You deserve it given it was thanks to you we got in"

The tired king made a dismissive move with his hand.

"No. I'm fine with whatever. Just include me to the next lottery" he replied indifferently

"Are you sure? You deserve a better share"

Odysseus smiled humorlessly.

"Last time I chose and defended my choice, we lost Aias the Telamonian. I think we lost enough for one decade, don't you think?"

It was a failure of attempt for humor and he knew it but Agamemnon only sighed.

"Suit yourself" he said defeated, heading for the exit

Menelaus was about to do the same but apparently something made him stop and turn around.

"Odysseus?"

"Hm?"

"Thank you...truly... You gave me back my honor

Odysseus snorted again.

"With the cost of mine..." he whispered bitterly, "Not that anyone ever thought I had any..."

The king of Sparta, though, shook his head negatively.

"To me you will always be the greatest of all Greeks"

The man who endured all torments looked up and for the first tike a small smile rose to his dry lips. That word of kindness was what he needed for his tormented heart to feel some sort of hope. At least there was finally one who neither blamed him nor glorified him. Menelaus saw his torment and responded. That was enough.

"Thank you..." he whispered

Menelaus nodded his head in return.

"Now rest, my friend. We have a long way before us...we are going home..."

Home...the tormented king of Ithaca thought. Yes, finally they could go home. After 10 endless years they could finally embrace their families. Just few more months of journey and Odysseus could finally go home... All he had to do was to learn to live with what he did... He watched both the kings through his cloudy vision, getting out of his tent and Polites coming back in.

"I am sorry, Odysseus! I couldn't stop them!"

Odysseus dismissed him with a hand gesture once more.

"Don't sweat it, Polites. Stopping a king seems impossible. Gods help us with two!"

Polites smiled softly. At least he would gain some of his humor back, he thought.

"Help me get to my bed, Polites..." sighed Odysseus hoarsely, "I need to rest... I am very tired..."

~~~~

Oh gosh what have I done?! Hehehehe well not sorry...not really! 😆 I hope you enjoyed this ride.

As you see I tried incorporating some of the Epic Cycle to the situation but I did tamper around with the timeliness. The Epic Cycle is a lovely mess anyways and holds many contradictions with the homeric poems but it includes many things.

Now the fragmentary poem Iliou Persis is sven mentioned how Odysseus throws Astyanax off the walls but most sources have Neoptolemus donit and I do agree with those more. Now in Trojan Women by Eurypedes the messenger Talthybius tells Andromache that Odysseus schemed so that her son would be thrown off the walls and that he persuaded the Greeks they couldn't raise the baby. Odysseus doesn't strike much as a baby killer in Odyssey or even the Iliad although he is known for being cruel in his punishments (see the excecution of the 50 conspiring slave girls) but nowhere jn Odyssey does Odysseus refer to that fact even if he does speak of his regrets for other actions of his and if he HAD thrown Astyanax off the walls himself I doubt he wouldn't have made any reference to it so I believe that Iliou Persis should he treated like Telegony when it comes to the homeric poems; a bit contradictory to the homeric epics (unless there is some lost fragment that tells us how Odysseus went on a rampage he could not remember lol 😆 ) so I made a mixture of all the above to show how Odysseus "killed" Astyanax or subconsciously persuaded the Greeks to do it and I added the role of Talthybius here too.

Iliou Persis seems to also be the most violent form when it comes to the Greek side such as that they offer Priam's daughter Polyxene to Achilles's tomb as a sacrifice, thus causing the rage of Athena (I swear the thing was written by a Trojan lol 😆) Eurypedes mentions how Polyxene was offered as slave to Achilles symbolically so she should serve his tomb. I also added the detail of Odysseus trying to persuade Neoptolemus to choose her as his price to speak Andromache but his attempts are a failure.

Drunkenness was severely discouraged in ancient geeece thus the concern in Polites's words when Odysseus uses it as a coping mechanism for the traumatic events of the night. Moreover the Greeks always mixed their wine with water (thus having the modern name for wine in Greek κρασί which comes from the verb in ancient greek which means "to mix") the wine that was not watered was called άκρατον and it was qlmost never consumed unless dipped in bread. The analogy between wine and water depended.

In this story I depict Neoptolemus as somehow a nemesis to Odysseus. Similar to what Agamemnon or Hector were for Achilles. I have no idea why but the idea stuck with me especially since the two are the two candidates for the murder of Astyanax. Somehow I imagined them again as the polar opposites thus the two of them having tension.

Odysseus mentions Thersites who was beaten really badly by him in the Iliad. In other sources it is mentioned that Odysseus has him stoned to death after Theraites attempts treason. In this story Thersites was already dead.

I know that for Palamedes the most famous version of his end comes from Hygenius who writes how Odysseus frames him for treason. However Pausanias mentions from the Epic Cycle that Palamedes drowned at a fishing expedition and that "he believes the murderers were Odysseus and Diomedes". 🤔 somehow I wanted to use a lesser known version plus give a bit room to doubt for instance did Palamedes really fell by accident and Odysseus is guilty for not helping? Or perhaps Odysseus pushed him? Maybe he held him under? Dunno. Leave it to your imagination. I know is not so spicy as the framing story but bare with me hehehe

Talthybius here simply hears "it was Odysseus who planned it" thus sending that information yo Andromache without the rest of the details..

Astyanax uttering a word was totally random. If he were an infant a few months old or almost a year old in Iliad that means he would be around 1 to 1.5 years old when Troy fell so I thought it would be more impactful if the poor baby uttered a word before his end.

The interaction with Andromache was placed there for the dramatics and the impact. When Andromache screams "MY BOY!" I was inspired by the series "The Tudors" when Anne Boleyn laments her final miscarriage (by the way I think Natalie Dormer would make an amazing Andromache!)

The story with Palamedes was also added to make the connection between two mothers and their impact to Odysseus. Plus I thought it would make more sense if Odysseus was furious not only for being embarrassed or that he has to go to war but because Palamedes put his son in danger. (Of course Penelope would be part of that scheme!)

Odysseus refusing to participate at the choice of spoils was just a random detail but as a general rule from Eurypedes it seems that he eats the old Ekavi (Hecuba) as his slave (probably she would be to serve Penelope( so I imagined Odysseus wouldn't want to choose but getting whatever would be lucky for him to further implicate that he wouldn't want anything further to do with the war. He also mentions the incident when Telamonian Aias (aka the great Ajax) went mad when Odysseus won Achilles's armor from him and then he killed himself in shame.

I also wanted to portray the friendship between Menelaus and Odysseus which seems to be really strong since Menelaus always talks with the warmest words for Odysseus.

For further questions and analysis please ask me to the comment section or reblog etc!

I wanna also tag some of my best friends commenters rebloggers etc! Thank you guys! Sorry if I forget anyone!

@loco-bird @aaronofithaca05 @tunguszka20 @doob-or-something @jarondont @prompted-wordsmith @simugeuge @fangirlofallthefanthings

[stewyhosseini-bf]

you know I kept thinking about Too Much Birthday and after trying to nail down my thoughts on this for a while, I finally kinda have a theory about the ep, which is that the main focus was to highlight each of the Roy children's individual trauma responses and specifically each of them trying (and failing) to work against their usual patterns.

Kendall, for example, wanted to have his siblings at his party despite being hurt by them a LOT this season and started out incredibly happy and jovial, joked around with them, even with Shiv, even about the letter which we know genuinely hurt him, hugged them, etc. but then he found out about shiv and roman only coming to the party to make a deal, and had that conversation with Rava, and couldn't find his children's gift, the one thing he actually cared about and ended up crying, getting angry and throwing the gifts, fighting with roman and going home early to wrap himself in a blanket, pointedly standing on the edge of his balcony and staring down, like we last saw him do in season one.

Connor comes to the party, yes, and he even has a moment where he gets mad and slightly confrontational for once about the fake headline - but then because of that understandably walks away, won't take off his coat the entire time, like it's a shield for him to hide behind, won't talk to any of them for more than a few seconds and walks away/retreats more and more and it gets to the point where Willa fends off Comfry for him because he just won't and cannot be confrontational.

Shiv tries to have some fun, goes in there determined and headstrong and even allows herself some vulnerability when she initiates the hug with Kendall, and allows herself to do something out of her comfort zone, like the dancing, but then after the roman and Ken fight COMPLETELY retreats again, to the point where in the car home, she doesn't say a single word in response to Tom, and can't even look at him.

and Roman, for one, at the start of the episode actually tries to, for once, oppose one of his dad's ideas ("shouldn't we at least talk to the nobodies?") but ends up doing exactly what he knows will make his dad happy and by the end, seeks out even the tiniest morsel of approval from him when he calls him to tell him he's the best child and the only one he should care about, etc.. and then in regards to the sexual comments he tends to make, he, at the start, even questions himself about it (when he walks in and out of the tunnel and then he's like.. why am I even making this joke?) and by the end, goes so overboard with it that even Shiv, who at this point must be very used to it, since we've seen him make those jokes in front of her repeatedly, questions his behavior and point-blank asks him why he always does that.

Like, it feels like all of them were trying to move away from who they were trying not to be, but the show underlining that they can't just decided to do that, because it's not a 'character flaw' or a choice that they can reject, but their individual responses to the repeated trauma they've experienced through Logan and/or their mother and probably other people as well.