#can't wait for myself to finally see it again!

[muntitled]

Blink Twice

Pairings: The Salesman x Fem!Reader

Summary: After pushing your body to the brink, it's finally giving out. You're rewarded for all your dazzling work ethic with a “nice” dinner. As ‘nice’ as ‘nice’ gets with him…

Warnings: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, Language, Coercion, Murder, Abuse, Male Manipulation, Implied Violence, Age gap, God Complex, Brainwashing, Psychopathy, Blood, Gore, Codependency, Yandere!Salesman, Stalking, Smut (+18) mdni, Handcuffs, Exhibitionism, Blood Kink, Sadomasocism, Dom!Salesman, Sub!Reader, Choking, Rough Sex, Oral Sex, Blood Play, fingering, Degradation Kink, Praise Kink, Sadism, Punishments, Dom/Sub Dynamics, Squirting, Fingering, Somnophilia, Period Sex, Bodily Fluids.

A/n: I'm not responsible for the media you consume

"H-How do you keep breaking into my apartment?" If it weren't for the fact that you were currently being fingered awake, you might have found it in yourself to sound more angry.

But you weren't awake, and he had taken advantage of your unconscious state just enough to bend down over your sleeping frame, and slip his hands between your legs.

You had promised yourself a quick power nap on the couch, anything that might lessen the pain that had been steadily blooming in your left arm. That nap had stolen you throughout most of the day until, here he hovers over you- the man who is undoubtedly the culprit for all this bodily pain you're in- with his fingers inside you.

“There you are, sleepy head,” His face is so close, you can see the smile wrinkling his face. His smile is bright and kind but his fingers aren't. They're stretching your cunt out, wrenching a moan from deep within you as you stare down at your hips moving off the couch.

“Fuck…” Your voice cracks as he scissors his index and middle finger inside you, still on a mission to split you apart. You drown in the scent of his cologne and his perfectly new suit- a black one today.

You throw your head back, feeling the pressure mount as you grind down against his fingers all while he watches with immense satisfaction.

“Can't- just-” you gasp when your wetness seeps out of you and onto the couch. “Can't-Do-This-” For all those moments you forget that you're nursing a sore arm. As you grind down against his ruthless fingers.

You forget that he might have seriously injured you this time.

“I couldn't help myself,” he whispers hoarsely, forcing an orgasm out of you before placing a kiss on your forehead. “You look breathtaking when you're unconscious.”

As the orgasm passes, you try to wake yourself up and become more aware of your surroundings.

Your body is shaking once he's done with you. Your cunt aches and reality sets back in. “Get out of my house.”

He straightens his tie before standing to his full height again, “You say that like I don't own the place,"

He's smiling stiffly as he stands before you, clutching that bloody briefcase, having come to collect you for another round of games...

Something inside your worn-out soul breaks at the sight of him so unfathomably fazed. You were experiencing another round of those 'realization moments'.

You have actually gone and sold yourself to a sadist.

Especially now that he's gone and done it again. After vehemently expressing that he 'please be a little more gentle with you', he insisted on pushing your body to the brink of its abilities. Toying with you and punishing you and releasing all the workings of those sick, sick, sick games on you, and for what?

It hits you more often than not these days.

A paid apartment? Paid university fees?

You try to keep your sleepy eyes unkind as you glare up at him but even you blanch at how much of a necessary force he's made himself in your life.

"And how often are you going to remind me that all my resources are tied to you?" You rise from lying supine, waiting for the world to stop spinning before you start stretching. None of your limbs protest as much as yours left shoulder that practically howls in pain. He watches you with robotic intrigue.

"I thought I should make good on that promise to take you out.”

"Take me out?" He notes the way your good shoulders tenses and smiles.

"I already said I've got no plans to kill you. You're the most fun I've had in years and years." He says "I want you to go to dinner with me."

"You wanna take your abuse victim out to dinner... looking like this?" you try to lift your arm but it protests, sending a sharp pain through your entire left side.

"I think you look rather beautiful."

"You would think this is what beauty looks like."

A tense silence falls.

"You're angry." He tilts his head, "And in pain."

You scoff venomously then, "Whomever might the culprit be?" You ask sarcastically before picking yourself up from the couch. You're cradling your arm, dragging your worn body across the floor to the adjoining kitchen.

"My fucking arm still hurts." You nearly cry as you squeeze the words out. Shooting a teary-eyed glare at your sadist from the kitchen.

"Tonight is your celebration dinner and it's way overdue." He busies himself by folding up the quilt that had been draped along your sleeping frame, "All my virtues rest on giving credit where credit is due, and you my dear..." the gaze he arrests you in is warm, and penetrative, like you were being reminded that he owns your body and soul, "-have done stellar work for me."

It's said in a wave of reverence you didn't really expect.

"Let me take you out,"

Sure he was sociopathic, and deranged, and everything you should most definitely be seeking refuge from, but the sentiment in his voice is genuine. As if, after 40 years on this earth, with the violent tendencies he had undoubtedly been born with, here is someone that's actually helping him. That's what you're doing, you're helping him. But it comes at a steep, steep price.

"You have virtues?" You ask sarcastically, causing the once intense moment to scatter and lighten.

"And your humor would be missed if I killed you. Where else would I find someone with such a stellar sense of humor and almost no sense of self preservation?" He asks aloud, as he walks towards the counter that separates you both. "You should've asked for help the first day you met me-"

"You offered to pay my shit if I played your games, who would walk away from that?”

"You should've." He smiles. "But I'm glad you didn't." His smile reaches those dead, almond eyes, "And tonight we have a celebration dinner."

"I can't go out," you say, turning your back on him to drink water.

His voice is dark when he says, "Can't or won't?"

"Can't." You slam your cup down against the sink, earning a thick wave of silence. You were never angry with him before. Never. "I think you broke something." You say, turning slowly, still cradling your arm like a baby.

There's a jarring amount of care in his voice as he rounds the counter to walk closer towards you. He examines your arm with deceptively soft eyes as he softly says, "I really did a number on you, didn't I?"

You look up at him with blank eyes, "Try not to get off thinking about it," you snip back. Sarcasm was your only weapon.

"I couldn't help myself," He rests his large hand on your arm, "you know that right?

"Y-Yes," your resolve falters and you're back to being his submissive. "I don't blame you."

"In fact." He nods along with you, conditioning you to accept his view of the events as he says, "Our session this past week had been nothing short of magical."

You're not quite sure if that was a reliable portrayal of the events but your weak mind is already fitting the memories to be so.

Somehow, you're thinking of the events with less anger: how he had snapped real, silver handcuffs on your wrists, resting them behind your back while you were being fucked from behind. It had been blissful until he pulled too hard on the left and you screamed and you blacked out.

Now here he stands before you, drenched in the afternoon sunlight, wearing a brand new black suit, smelling of fine cologne, telling you it was magical.

He came when you broke your arm.

"Alright, I'll come with you," he decides with finality, prompting you to snap out of your daze.

"No, I can go myself!" You move around him to gather your things.

"Unless you've magically obtained the ability to communicate in Korean then I suggest I come with you." He watches you race across your tiny apartment, gathering your things.

"There are English speaking doctors I'll be f-uck." As you were searching for your phone between the couch, you angered the arm, causing another wave of pain to blossom.

"I'm taking you." He stands by the doorway, "Let's go."

Your nostrils flare as the real reason for your discomfort rears its head. "B-but what if..."

You let the words die on your lips. Choosing instead to look at him, hoping your eyes relay the severity of the implications that might arise from a simple trip to the hospital. All those questions.

"Don't tell me you're worried about me." He says, still smiling.

"Worry?" You snort as you make your way to the front door where your sneakers sit, "If you go to jail who's gonna make me cum?"

He clutches at the space where a heart ought to be and says, "And here I was thinking you were falling in love with an old man like me."

"You can't love anything," you shoot back coldly.

"I can't," he confirms, "but you can."

You move away from the conversation like It's growing teeth.

"Let's just go," you mumble quietly, heading out the door, not looking back and knowing he'd follow.

𓂃

The hospital is bombarded by the smell of antiseptic and busy bodies in white coats whizzing all around you. It's dizzying actually being here as the severity if it all comes hammering down on you. You didn't like being around so many people at the best of times- even attending university everyday was met with its fair share of anxiety. Almost on instinct, you curl a little closer into his side, letting your right hand slither over his wrist. Surprisingly, he lets you.

"What should I say?" It only strikes you now that you probably should have rehearsed some script since 'I'd like to seek medical attention because I'm meeting with a homicidal sadist weekly who pays my bills and my body is finally giving out,' probably wouldn't be a good way to go.

The confidence in his stride leaves you brimming with nervousness. Your less than orthodox dynamic has already made a few passers by stare but here, inside the hospital, you feel like the only two humans to exist.

"I'll do the talking," he reassures and something inside you sighs. This is what made him such a necessary force for you. He handled way more than you ever could. He moved through the world, headstrong and in charge. He was everything you weren't.

"Good day-" he says to the nurse manning the front desk, "I'd like to get my wife treated for a possible fracture or broken bone-"

Wife.

It rings through your ears.

Meanwhile, kind eyes- genuine, human eyes- look at you from across the desk. You realize then how little contact you've had with anyone normal. Anyone real.

"Poor thing," the nurse murmurs and your heart tugs at the kindness drenched in her voice.

"Alright, Sir, it's just-" the nurse gestures towards the rest of the waiting room, "We're just busier than we usually are for a weekday so you might have to wait a while-"

"You have medical aid?" You enquire softly, letting your side bump against him. "Who the hell are you?"

He stares down the small woman as he reveals a glistening card from his wallet. She quickly looks at you before she tentatively takes the card and types away at her computer.

Somehow, up until this point you had fooled yourself into believing you were on the road to autonomy, that going to university and being a woman in her 20s away from home meant you were finally obtaining sweet sweet independence but in actuality... you were just a little girl, deluding herself into thinking the city might be kind to her. It's swallowing you whole. And you're being left to watch.

It made you aware of how completely vulnerable you had really been. You could barely afford rent, let alone something as luxurious as medical aid. For all your time in this city you tried not to get hurt because medical bills would eat you alive and here he was, whipping a card out.

"Right this way-" The little nurse moves from behind the counter, and almost immediately, you hear a distinct uproar in the waiting room behind you. "I think doctor Park will see you, but we'll first head over for X-Ray and-"

"Hey!" The sound startles you, causing your shoulders to tense as you grip on your Salesman's forearm, making sure he's still there, "We've been here for 4 hours," You meet the haggard glassy eyes of a middle aged man. He's scowling at you as if you've committed a grave murder right before him.

"I'm sorry, Sir." The nurse begins, her voice filled with concern, "This hospital is legally obligated to help out those with medical aid first-"

Shoes click against the cold floors. A shadow descends as your Salesman steps forward as if protecting you from the man's vehemence. Time stands still in the moments he makes his venomous proposition. A proposition so vile it nearly had you vomiting here all over the hospital floors.

"My wife needs a new heart-" he begins, gesturing to a woman- a ghost seated in the chairs behind him. Her skin is practically translucent as she stares off into space. "Who knows how much time we're wasting while we're being forced to wait here-"

"Are you up for a game of rock, paper, scissors by any chance?" Your salesman asks, causing your heart to sink. The man examines him as if he's grown a second head.

"If you win a single round against me, I will pay for your wife's medical treatment. New heart." At the peroration of his incredibly insensitive and evil proposition, your Salesman smiles.

"One round." He says, before his eyes snap to the woman pulling at her husband's arm.

"She doesn't look too well," The Salesman pouts and you walk up towards him, limbs shaking as you whisper-yell in his ear, feeling all your nerves being shot out of you.

"Jesus, you're fucking disgusting."

"Birds of a feather-" he whispers back, before refocusing his attention onto the man.

Meanwhile the nurse tries to pull you away but you're rooted to the floors. This whole ordeal makes you realize that you've never actually seen him interact with normal people. It makes you wonder where he goes when he's not with you. You'd almost believed that he's a fragment of your delusions, something your lonely brain cooked up to make you believe someone in this city cared about you. But he's real. And he has a life outside the two of you.

"Don't you wanna help your wife?" He continues to tempt the man, "Look at mine-" the Salesman said, gesturing to you. "She's a little battered and bruised but she's alive. You're not dying any time soon, right honey?"

You rip your eyes away from him just as your nurse returns. She places a warm arm on your forearm and in the midst of the game, she places a card in your hand. "Let's go for your x-rays,"

While they play their game, you look down at the piece of paper.

Blink twice if the man you're with is the one who assaulted you.

Call it female intuition.

You have no idea what could've led to the fact that he was the one but the nurse is watching you with a heavy gaze and bated breath. You almost drown in the concern she holds for you, a mere stranger.

In another life, you might've had a friend like her. She's relatively young, budding with youthfulness, actually. You imagine she has a boyfriend. An actual one. One who holds her bag while she's shopping. One who kisses her. These kinds of people develop empathy. The ‘fixed people’. You can tell she knows love.

“I-”

“Rock, paper, scissors-”

You blink once before looking away and the nurse sighs in relief.

"Better luck next time." You watch with bated breath as the man draws a rock to the Salesman's paper.

𓂃

An oblique fracture, they called it. The thing that's been plaguing your left arm for a week has finally been given its name. You're walking out of the doctor's office feeling light and remarkably relieved to leave this place and all its people. He walks confidently beside you, having sat through the whole ordeal. He had been there as they fashioned the pink cast over your arm and he walks beside you now, like your own personal well-dressed shadow.

On your way out, you pass by the receptionist's desk, she smiles over at you but glares at the Salesman. Just as you're about to make it out, you hear her voice.

“You said she's your wife,” the woman speaks up, causing you both to stop. “I don't see a ring.”

Cold, white, fear runs down your spine and your hand that was in his, squeezes as silence envelops you both.

“Good Day,” is all he says with an amicable smile before pulling you along.

Silence enveloped you on your taxi ride over to the Japanese restaurant comfortably situated in the Gangnam district. He had been remarkably quiet in the taxi driver over and he is remarkably quiet now as you're being led to a booth in the restaurant. It's adequately filled with its patrons. Families and couples like perhaps you two were. You wonder if he has these thoughts…

“She did make a good point,” you mumble as you take a seat in the booth, watching silently as he slips in beside you. “If you're going to be telling people I'm your wife and they don't see a ring…”

He sets his briefcase in the booth beside you both, sighing softly as he mumbles, “People don't usually marry their toys, do they?”

Before you're able to respond, a waiter walks up to your booth, having his pen and notepad at attention as he asks for your order. You watch your Salesman expertly lay down your order, everything from yakitori, to miso soup to onigiri. It's mesmerizing watching him order for you and you suspect it had the same effect on you. His hands on your thigh squeezes slightly, while you silently let him order. In a moment the waiter vanishes.

“You're so old,” you say suddenly, trying to make up for the silence and the nervousness raging through your heart. This is the first time you're out with him in a public setting and its setting you alight with worry. “I'm sure you remember when Korea was under Japanese occupation,”

“Keep making your little jokes,” he says, sipping on his complimentary water as he allows his back to rest against the seat, “And I might not be so forgiving…”

His hand rests his hand on your thigh, it's the only thing you're able to focus on. How his fingers cover so much space. The sheer size of it. The sheer size of him. You feel so completely small beside him, you almost don't realize that he's begun talking again.

“My father fought in the war when he was ‘round about your age,” that brings you clean out of your thoughts. Your eyes snap up to meet his but he's staring aimlessly ahead, as if reminiscing on something beautiful.

“Jesus I-” you swallow thickly, “That was a bloody war,”

He nods, momentarily removing his hand from your thigh to undo the buttons of his blazer.

“More than 3 million dead.” He says taking another sip.

“Right.” You nod, heart hammering when he places his hand back on your thigh. “2 million soldiers and 1 million civilians,” he places the glass back down on the table and he shakes his head slightly, twirling his index.

“Swap the numbers around.”

“Right…” you clear your throat, keeping your gaze locked on your lap, “That's... heartbreaking. I'm sorry.”

He turns his head, finally regarding you under the dimness of the hanging light fixtures. He tilts his head to the side in that way he does when he's particularly intrigued by you. “You are sorry, aren't you?”

You nod.

“But I have no idea why, you're not a Japanese fascist from the 40s.”

“No, but I have empathy.”

“Curious.” He replies back, before letting silence fall.

“Spread your legs,” he says so suddenly it gave you whiplash. Your head snaps up to him as you begin to plead.

He couldn't do this. There had to be some sort of refractory period in which he let your body recuperate.

“I’m in pain-” you grit out through your teeth, but his large hand is already seeping to the center of your closed legs, trying to pry them apart.

“Your legs work just fine.” He whispers, letting his mouth graze your ears, “Your cunt works just fine,”

You place a hand on his forearm. “The doctor said no strenuous activities.”

“Do you listen to the doctor or do you listen to me?” He asks, staring at you deep into your frightened eyes, forcing you into that liminal space of submission. Your eyes were brimming with not only fear but embarrassment.

“Spread your legs.” He whispers,

“I'm on my period,”

Another troubling moment of contemplation falls between you both and you're left to stare deep into each other's eyes as the restaurant's cultural music makes the ambience swell. It could be romantic, this energy that's festering between you two.

Even though you know it's anything but, you allow yourself to dip into those pools of delusion.

“You were fine this morning,” He says, and you note the grogginess that's begun to veneer his voice as he looks down at you.

Young, impressionable, darling you.

“I got it before we left, that's why I asked to use the bathroom again- point is,” you tug on his arm, “We can't.”

His eyes soften and for a split second, you think you see kindness there. Your gaze falls to his lips, anticipating the words they'd form.

“Spread your legs,” he says once more, before applying the necessary force to pry them apart yourself. “Let me in, Doll.”

A small whimper escapes you as you open your legs. You let him drift his hand under your skirt. His fingers are cold to the touch, leaving a trail of goosebumps in their wake as he inches them towards your cunt.

The second his fingers graze over your mound you gasp slightly before sitting forward with your head bowed. Your cast is behind the table as you hide your head in your hand. He watches you with heavy eyes, “It's rude to have your elbow on the table.”

“Shut up,” you mumble, trying to muffle yourself by the palm of your hand. You feel him swipe your underwear away. You feel his fingers dip into the pool of wetness at your entrance. Wetness you knew was not arousal.

“Don't look at me like that,” you mumble, staring down at the table as his fingers rub against your slick folds.

“Like what?” He asks.

In your periphery you can see him hunched over you slightly, his eyes on you and you alone. It was tiring having his attention. And so incredibly dangerous.

“Like you wanna eat me alive.”

He bends down, letting his fingers graze over your clit as he whispers, “I do. That's all I wanna do.”

The waitress returns with your food and you mumble a quiet ‘thank you,’ While your Salesman keeps his gaze locked on you.

“Grind down on my hand,” he urges and you shake your head,

“Do it.”

“Or what?” That was probably the worst thing to say to a sadist who looks like he's brimming for you to give him a reason to hurt him.

“Fuck my hand or I'll fuck you.”

You were feeling particularly stubborn today. The injury, the nurse, the hospital, the man and his wife… you're disgusted with this man beside. It dawns on you then that you have to get away from him.

“You can't do that-” you begin to whine but his voice is like steel when he reolies, “I thought we've established that there are many things I can do and very few I can't.”

All is quiet.

“Fuck my hand or I'll fuck you, I've been dying to play in your blood.”

You're still wrestling with either of your options, trying to outweigh the good against the bad was impossible when both choices just seemed bad. It puts you at an unfair disadvantage and you are drowning.

“W-Wait-”

“Times up.” He mumbles before removing his hand from your underwear. You're utterly horrified to find it stained in crimson.

He calls over the waiter, at least having the decency to hide his bloody hand behind your back as he politely says, “My wife is quite sick, could I be pointed to the bathroom, please?” He sounds so amicable, so deceptively kind, of course the waitress quietly urges the two of you to the bathrooms nestled at the back of the resturant.

“I'll do it-” you breath heavile as he urges you past tables, “I'll do just-”

“You picked too late," he whispers in your ear as he steers you into the female bathrooms. “Disqualified.” He says before pushing you into a sta. You could only thank your lucky stars that the stalls are empty but that is where you luck runs dry.

It's only you and your monster who's fervently unzipping his pants before locking you both in a cubicle.

“My arm hurts-” you begin but he turns you around, pushing your back against the door.

“Your cunt still works.” He repeats, “I didn't get to drive a knife into it the last time-” he whispers hoarsely as he plays drunken kisses all across your collarbone. You hate to admit how dizzying the effect of his kisses are. How they carry you off into a completely different mental state- where everything becomes morally grey. You felt like you could get off to almost anything in this state and so you don't bat an eye when he says, “I need to see your blood on my cock,”

In fact, you moan, trying to find your bearings as you slip so far into subspace. “You're not allowed to pass out on me-” he says, manically, breathing oh so heavily as he pulls his cock out over his slacks. “I'm not even using any of our favorite toys, you do not get to pass out.” He warns before slotting himself between your legs.

“W-wait- pull your pants all the way down, otherwise-” you hiccup, “I'll make a mess.”

A deep and low groan reverberates through his chest and you watch him lower his pants all the way down, revealing sculpted legs before he brings his cock to your cunt. It's wet enough to allow him to slide in smoothly, and he looks down between you, pressing down on your tummy as he watches your blood soak his cock.

“Here taste your blood,” He's prying your teeth open and you let him. Crimson floods your mouth and you moan around his fingers. There's a manic sort of edge to his laugh as he admits, “I’m not gonna last quick.” before he's kisses you deeply, grinding himself into you

“Fuck- you're filthy.” His eyes are absolutely insane as he drives his cock into you setting an unforgiving ppace. He snaps his hips against you, trying to drive his cock in further and further.

“Cum- I'm gonna cum-” He pulls back to urge, just as you hear someone walk into the bathroom. He's breathing heavily, surprisingly being mindful of your cast as he dips his hand down to your cunt. His fingers drag across the blood like it's the most fascinating thing on earth, and that has you cunt tightening around him.

A toilet flush, just as a whimper seeps through your lips. Your eyes are squeezed shut as you take his brutal fucking, watching him stab your cunt with his cock like he's daring himself to break you.

You place a hand on your mouth, muffling your violent cries as you buck your hips against him. Your own period pains that were flooding your system is beng fucked away. Your thighs and his pelvis are absolutely stained in crimson and his eyes are rolled back. Thankfully, the door opens and closes and you are alone once again.

“I love playing in your blood-” his voice cracks. Meanwhile, he's using you like a ragdoll. Through it all, you manage to ask the question plaguing your mind.

“Did he…” You moan, squeezing your eyes shut as the tip of his cock grazes your cervix, “Did your dad make it back?”

He rears his teeth, smiling in that twisted way that was far different from the smiles he gave everyone else. Only you got to see him like this. “Yes, Doll, he did.”

“W-What happened to him-oh god-” he picks up his pace grabbing your hips and pulling your cunt down on his cock.

“I killed him.” His eyes roll back into his skull and your mouth falls open. His cum floods your system and in that same moment his pelvis grazes along your clit, triggering your orgasm. You cum with tears in your eyes and it fills you with unmistakable dread.

If this man was capable of ending someone in his own bloodline, who were you in his eyes? Nothing. Absolutely nothing.

“Don't look so scared.” He whispers, still grunting as he emptied himself inside you, “He was useless. You- you're not useless.”

He kisses your face. Everywhere he can.

“You look like you're about to have a panic attack. Compose yourself.”

You breathe in thickly.

In and out.

In and out.

[keep-wonwooing]

— Two Boyfriends

synopsis ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ ˗ˏˋ "I want two boyfriends so i can dress them up like twins!" ˎˊ˗

pairing ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ idol!seongcheol x chubby fem reader x idol!mingyu

warnings ᝰ.ᐟ

⤷ poly, fluff, & physical touch (can't think of anything)

"Kim Mingyu, get back here!" My yell echoed through the house. My boyfriend of one years and 3 months, Kim Mingyu, who’s also an idol, had taken my PC holder that featured an official photo of Joshua—my bias.

"No! This is supposed to be me, not Joshua hyung!" he whined, hiding behind the couch.

He always whines like this, but normally, he’s fine with it. I don’t know what got into him today.

"Come on, baba, give it back, please?" I pouted, already feeling tired from chasing him around the apartment.

Shaking his head, he bolted upstairs, disappearing from my sight. I sighed and flopped onto the couch.

"I’m home!" I heard the door open, revealing my other boyfriend, Seventeen’s leader, Choi Seungcheol.

"Baby… Mingyu took it again!" I whined, rolling dramatically on the couch.

"Hi there, love," he greeted me warmly, leaning down to kiss my forehead.

Amazing, right? I have both of them as my boyfriends. It all started when I met them at an offline fan meeting.

flashback

⤷ I’m currently on my way to Seventeen’s offline fan meeting, and I’m super excited because this is my first time attending and seeing them up close.

While waiting for the guards to let us in, I’m double-checking all the bags containing the gifts I prepared for the boys.

Finally, the doors opened, and the Carats and I began lining up to keep everything organized. I noticed most of the fans were with their friends, while I stood alone. I’m not great at making friends with strangers, so I stayed quiet.

As I was checking my bags again, I suddenly heard squeals, and then Seventeen started appearing one by one.

I couldn’t help but smile as I saw them waving at us. As a fan finally seeing them up close, I enthusiastically waved back. I caught Hoshi looking at me, and he waved directly at me—I’m sure he noticed the tiger-themed t-shirt I was wearing.

"Say the name!" Seungcheol began, his voice loud and confident.

"Seventeen! Hello, we are Seventeen!" the members chorused, bowing after their greeting.

A staff member handed Seungcheol a microphone so he could speak.

"Good afternoon, Carats! We really appreciate all the effort you made to attend this offline fan meeting, and we hope you’ll enjoy your time with us. Thank you!" he said, looking around the crowd while waving.

Oh my gosh, he’s so handsome in real life! I fanned myself, trying to calm down my blushing face. Who wouldn’t be flustered with these guys standing on stage, looking absolutely fine?

The members finally took their seats, and the staff began assisting some Carats onto the stage. While the first fan interacted with Seungkwan, the other members started engaging with the rest of us in the audience.

"How are you guys feeling today? Isn’t it a little cold?" Dino asked, earning mixed answers of “yes” and “no,” which made him chuckle.

"Yah! I saw a lot of Carats wearing tiger shirts today. Where did you guys buy those?" Hoshi asked, looking amazed.

"Shein!" I answered. I felt embarrassed when I realized I was the only one who replied, while the others just laughed, finding Hoshi adorable.

"Oh?! Really?! How much is it? I’m willing to buy it!" he excitedly said, making the other members laugh.

My number was 21, but they were still on number 4, so it was going to take a while for my turn. We were given five minutes to talk to each member, which I felt was enough time to enjoy the moment.

Am I being delusional, or is Mingyu really looking at me? I waved at him with a smile, not expecting anything, but when he waved back, my cheeks burned, and I quickly broke eye contact.

After an hour, it was finally my turn. I had just finished talking to Seungkwan, Dino, The8, and Jun.

"Thank you so much for this!" Jun said, pointing at the cat plushie with his name on the collar.

"You’re welcome! Bye-bye!" I giggled, waving at him before finally moving on to Hoshi, who had been eyeing my shirt.

"Hey there!" he greeted me, starting to sign my album.

"So earlier, you asked us Carats where we bought our clothes, and I was the one who said Shein," I began, hoping to make the conversation more personal.

"Yes, yes! I really wanted to know where to buy more shirts, especially with that kind of design!" he said with a surprised expression.

"You don’t have to buy anything, though, because I bought you two tiger-themed shirts. I was nervous you might not like them, but I still wanted to give them to you," I said quickly, handing him a bag decorated with a cute tiger cartoon.

"I will definitely keep this bag!" he exclaimed, examining the bag before opening it. The Carats behind us gasped softly, admiring the gesture.

"It’s pretty, Hoshi-yah!" a Carat called out, and he proudly stood up to show it off.

We laughed, and he sat back down, thanking me nonstop. "I guess you’ll want more? I’ll tell you the shop then," I teased, giggling.

The next person was Joshua—my ultimate bias since the first day I started stanning Seventeen. He had always caught my attention.

"Hello, you’re really pretty," Joshua said softly, smiling as he began signing my album.

"You’re even prettier!" I replied, making us both giggle. I handed him a bag with a cinnamon roll plushie and a simple necklace featuring their group picture.

"Woah~ So I really do look like Cinnamon Roll, huh?" he joked, making me laugh and nod.

"Really! You’re both so cute," I replied.

"Oh my gosh, how much is this? I really love it!" he said, admiring the necklace.

While Joshua and I were talking, I felt someone staring at me. I glanced over and saw Seungcheol, who had just finished speaking to another Carat, looking in my direction.

"Thank you so much, really!" Joshua said, before the staff guided me to the next member.

"Hi there," Seungcheol greeted me with a warm, handsome smile.

I was stunned and stuttered when I greeted him back. "H-hello!" I nervously replied, making him laugh.

"How’s it going? Are you having fun?" he asked while signing my album.

"I’m really enjoying it so far! This is also my first time attending an event like this," I said, smiling.

"Woah, really? I’m happy you were able to attend this one," he said sincerely, looking at me with kind eyes.

He slowly held my hand, and I blushed so hard. I had held hands with the other members too, but Seungcheol had this special effect on me. Maybe it’s because he’s one of my bias wreckers.

"Here’s my gift for you!" I said, handing him a cherry hairclip along with one for his dog, Kkuma. "This one’s for you, and this is for Kkuma. I hope she’ll like it."

"She will, I’m sure!" he replied, examining the clips with a warm smile. "Can you put it on for me?" he asked, pointing at his hair.

I nodded quickly, my hands trembling as I clipped it onto his hair. "You look even more handsome with it," I said, smiling shyly.

"Really? I’m glad then," he said, smiling back and gently holding my hands again.

"I hope you guys aren’t too tired with your schedules and are getting enough rest," I sighed and pouted. "I was really worried when I kept seeing articles about you guys being sick."

He patted my head warmly. "Thank you, but don’t worry too much, okay? We’re doing fine right now."

After my conversation with Seungcheol and the other members, Mingyu was the last one I met before stepping off the stage.

"Hi, pretty~" he greeted me with a charming smile, glancing at me briefly before signing my album.

"I have a gift for you," I said, handing him a bag. "It’s a shirt you can use for working out or just as daily wear."

"So, your name is Y/N?" he asked, and I nodded immediately.

"You have a pretty name—just like you," he said, making me blush.

"I... uh... thank you," I stammered.

"I’ll definitely wear this! You’ll see it on my Instagram or in a random Going Seventeen video," he chuckled, holding up the shirt.

"Are you going to the Follow tour concert?" he asked me.

"Yes, I hope so. I’m nervous I won’t be able to get a ticket," I pouted.

"Don’t worry—you’ll get one. And I’ll make sure to find you!" he exclaimed.

"Really? I was planning to get a VIP ticket so I could jump properly to Aju Nice," I joked, making him laugh.

"Time’s up!" the staff announced. I smiled at the staff before bidding goodbye to Mingyu.

---

A few months later, tickets for the Follow tour in Seoul went on sale. I was sweating in my room, juggling three devices, anxiously waiting for my turn. On my laptop, my queue number was 961. I almost cried—I had a real chance to attend!

---

The day of the Follow tour concert arrived, and it was time for the soundcheck. I was so lucky to have a spot near the barricade.

They were performing Don Quixote, and I saw Seungcheol walking toward our side. He stopped for a moment, then ran over to Mingyu, dragging him back to our section and pointing at us.

The Carats behind me cheered loudly as Mingyu smiled widely and waved at me.

---

A few hours later, the concert started with Super. Everyone was screaming their lungs out and singing along. The concert went smoothly, with a few interactions between me and the members—especially Mingyu, who kept coming to our side of the stage.

At one point, he even took my phone, ran around the stage, and recorded videos. I was shocked—who wouldn’t be? My bias had just taken my phone to snap a bunch of selcas with the other members!

During Aju Nice, the members ran freely across the stage. Mingyu handed my phone back to a security guard, pointing at me to make sure I got it.

I thanked both the guard and Mingyu as he walked away, my heart full of gratitude and excitement.

The concert had ended, and I was waiting to leave the venue when a staff member tapped my shoulder. “Excuse me, please follow me.”

I looked around nervously, hoping no one noticed. Luckily, most Carats were too busy chatting to see the guard opening the barricade for me.

I followed her, confused. “Why do you need me? Who are you?” I asked.

“I’m Seungcheol’s manager. He asked me to find you,” she replied, leading me to a door marked Seventeen.

The door opened, and I saw Dino. “Oh! You’re the one who gave me the otter plushie! I brought it today—want to see?” he said excitedly before running off to fetch it.

He remembers me? I thought, stunned.

“Hey, you’re Y/N, right? The one who gave me the necklace with our group picture inside?” Joshua approached me, holding a water bottle.

“Yes, that’s me,” I said, smiling shyly.

He smiled back warmly and gestured for me to enter. Inside, a few staff members were tidying up while the members relaxed.

“Here it is!” Dino returned, proudly showing off the otter plushie.

“And it’s wearing the Dino shirt!” I exclaimed, giggling.

“Ah, you’re here!” Mingyu appeared beside me, flashing his signature grin.

“Well, yes. But why am I here? Shouldn’t you guys be resting?” I asked, puzzled.

He nodded. “We are, but…” Before finishing, he gently took my arm and guided me to the side where Seungcheol was seated, watching us.

“Are you our noona?” Mingyu asked suddenly.

“I’m a ’96 liner, and I share the same birthday as Jun,” I replied with a laugh.

“Really?!” Jun chimed in from across the room, making everyone laugh.

Seungcheol spoke up. “The members and I really appreciated all the gifts you gave us. Some of us are using them, and others are keeping them safe.”

“I’m just glad you liked them,” I replied, still feeling a bit nervous being this close to them.

“Here,” Mingyu handed me a blanket to cover my legs since I was wearing a short skirt.

“Thank you,” I said softly.

Seungcheol continued, “So, we were thinking of inviting you to dinner—if you’re okay with it. No pressure!” He raised his hands reassuringly.

“Oh? I’m fine with it. But is it really okay? I mean, it’s a group dinner, and—”

“Noona, please?” Dino interrupted, giving me puppy eyes.

“It’ll be fun!” Jeonghan added, wiggling his eyebrows playfully.

I laughed. “Well, if it’s okay with you guys, then sure. I’ll go.”

The room erupted in cheers, and the members quickly changed so we could leave for dinner early.

---

Dinner

We ended up at a restaurant enjoying pork belly. While the others drank lightly, I stuck to soda since I wasn’t great with alcohol.

I sat between Dino and Jeonghan, playing the famous hongsam game.

“Wow, I’ve only ever watched this in videos, but playing it with you guys is so much fun!” I said, laughing until my stomach hurt.

“Noona got it wrong!” Dino yelled triumphantly.

“Eh? I did?” I asked, confused.

He eagerly explained why, and everyone laughed, telling me to drink my soda as a penalty. I agreed, and we continued playing.

After dinner, Seungcheol paid the bill.

“Seungcheol must be rich!” I teased, making him roll his eyes.

“Aye, don’t be humble!” I added, and the others burst out laughing.

When they offered to drop me off, I initially refused but eventually gave in. I ended up on their bus, heading home.

“Thank you for today,” I said sincerely.

“You’re welcome. The boys really wanted to be friends with you, especially after the fan meeting—Dino in particular,” Jeonghan teased.

“Can we have your number, noona?” Mingyu asked, blushing as the others teased him.

I laughed. “Is it okay?” I asked Seungcheol, who nodded.

“Of course, don’t worry,” he said with a warm smile.

When we reached my stop, I thanked them again and waved goodbye. It wasn’t until I was inside that it hit me: I was now friends with Seventeen, and Mingyu had my number.

---

A Few Months Later

⤷I had grown closer to the boys and often stayed at Seungcheol’s house, where they all lived. Each member had their own room—it was basically a mansion!

“Noona! Seungkwan keeps saying I’m bad at badminton!” Dino whined, sitting beside me.

“Because you are! Right, noona? You saw how I beat him in TTT,” Seungkwan smirked.

“I did, but don’t tease Dino so much!” I laughed.

Suddenly, I remembered something. “Wait! Oh no, my ramen!” I ran to the kitchen and found Mingyu standing there.

“Is this yours, noona?” he asked, pointing at the pot.

I nodded sheepishly. “I forgot because I was watching a K-drama with the guys.”

“Your ramen’s ready. I’ll grab a bowl for you,” he said, opening the cabinet.

“Y/N?” Seungcheol’s voice interrupted us.

I turned to him. “Oppa, why?”

“Can you both come upstairs to the balcony?”

I glanced at Mingyu, who gave me a small smile. “Let’s go,” he said.

As we followed Seungcheol, I yelled back to the others, “Don’t eat my ramen!”

Their smirks told me they probably would.

When we reached the balcony, Seungcheol was already waiting. “What’s wrong? I’m nervous!” I joked, standing between him and Mingyu.

Seungcheol nudged Mingyu. “You should go first.”

Mingyu took a deep breath and looked at me. “Just tell her,” Seungcheol encouraged.

"Why me?" Mingyu whined. "Fine, I'll tell her," Seungcheol sighed.

"I know this might end up awkward, but... me and Mingyu want to confess something to you..." Seungcheol began. "The day we saw you at the fan meeting, we were immediately attracted to your beauty, and we couldn’t wait to have a conversation with you. We were so happy to have the chance to talk to such a beautiful fan. After that, me and the guys couldn’t stop talking about you, especially Mingyu. I told them that we should invite you to dinner if we got the chance, and we immediately took that opportunity after the concert. As time passed, Mingyu and I started to develop a small crush on you. We’ve been hanging out a lot, and now we just wanted to share our feelings with you, hoping it won’t make things awkward if you like one of us."

I couldn’t quite process what he said.

"H-hey, no pressure. If you’re not ready—"

"No," I interrupted, "I mean, uh... how do I explain this? I do like you both too, but I... I don’t know. I don’t want to pick between you two," I nervously said while playing with my fingers.

"I also like you both personally—not just because you two are my biases, but for who you really are. We’ve all become so close, and I was confused about who I liked, but I realized that maybe I just like you both equally..." I confessed.

"Really? Maybe we can make it work?" Mingyu said.

"I don’t understand," Seungcheol said, looking at Mingyu in confusion.

"Well, I’m gonna admit that I find Cheol-hyung attractive—"

I stopped myself from giggling, and Mingyu noticed. He shyly hid his face against my shoulder.

"Aye~ don’t be shy!" I teased.

"Stop it, noona!" He whined.

"Continue, Gyu," we heard Seungcheol say. Even though he was nervous, Mingyu continued.

"Well... yeah, I do find you, hyung, attractive, and might have small feelings for you and noona. So I’m suggesting that we should work it out and try to be in a relationship?" Mingyu continued.

"Ooh! It’s like a poly relationship?" I asked, and Mingyu nodded as an answer.

"I like reading that kind of genre, though, so I guess it’s a good idea. What’s your thought on that?" I said, looking at Seungcheol, who was quietly observing us.

"Well, me and Mingyu already talked about this kind of setup. We were just thinking that you wouldn’t agree and might find it weird," Seungcheol explained, leaning against the railing.

"I don’t find it weird," I replied with a smile. "But what about the boys? I’m scared that their perspective will change towards me when they find out about this," I said, sighing.

"About that, we’ve already talked to them, and they were fine with it. They were actually supportive," Seungcheol reassured me.

I took a deep breath, absorbing everything they just told me. The idea of being in a relationship with both Seungcheol and Mingyu felt like walking into uncharted territory—but it also felt exciting and genuine.

"So... you’re saying the boys are supportive?" I asked cautiously, my fingers fidgeting with the edge of Mingyu’s blanket.

Mingyu nodded, his expression soft and reassuring. "We talked about it because we wanted their blessing before confessing. They even teased us about how nervous we were."

Seungcheol chuckled, the sound easing some of my nerves. "Yeah, Jeonghan especially had a field day with it. He said he ‘saw this coming from a mile away.’"

I couldn’t help but laugh. "That does sound like Jeonghan."

For a moment, we all stood in comfortable silence, the city lights twinkling behind us. Then Mingyu reached out and gently took my hand in his. "Noona, we just want to make you happy. If this setup doesn’t feel right for you, we’ll understand."

Seungcheol nodded in agreement, his gaze steady and sincere. "We care about you too much to push you into something you’re not ready for."

Their honesty and thoughtfulness made my chest tighten with emotion. I realized that what I felt for them wasn’t just a fleeting crush or admiration. It was something deeper, built on trust and genuine connection.

"I..." I hesitated for a moment before meeting their eyes. "I want to try. I don’t know what the future holds, but I know I want to explore it with both of you."

Their faces lit up, Mingyu’s smile bright and Cheol’s soft and comforting. Mingyu pulled me into a playful hug, his excitement contagious. "Noona, you won’t regret this! We’ll make sure of it!"

Seungcheol’s arms wrapped around both of us, his warmth grounding. "Let’s take this one step at a time, together."

And in that moment, surrounded by their laughter and warmth, I knew I had made the right choice.

"So they finally had the guts to tell you?" Jeonghan teased as the three of us headed back downstairs.

"Shut up, hyung!" Mingyu said, making Jeonghan laugh.

- end of flashback -

back to present

⤷"What did he take?" Cheol asked, helping me stand up from the couch.

"My photocard!" I replied.

"Mingyu!" He called, and we saw him poke his head out from the door upstairs. I gave him a smirk after Cheol motioned for him to come down.

"Give it back," Cheol ordered.

"But love!" Mingyu whined before handing it back to me. I hugged him and leaned my head against his chest since he's taller.

"We both know you also have one, right? And it's always in my bag wherever I go," I said, making him nod sheepishly while smiling.

Cheol just laughed at us before dragging us to the kitchen, showing us the food he bought for us.

"Woah!" Mingyu and I exclaimed as we saw the spread.

"Thank you, baby!" I said, pecking his cheek.

"You're welcome, bab," he smiled, caressing my hair.

"Let's eat!" Mingyu cheered, taking the food out of the plastic.

I may or may not do a part 2 of this 😁 please tell me your thoughts about this at the comment section!

[just-a-carrot]

I'm not really in the mood to make a festive Happy New Year's post. So instead I'll just say... we made it. I made it. You made it. The year is over and we're still here. And that is enough.

It's no real secret by this point but 2024 has been one of the worst years of my life. From constant anxiety and panic attacks over job stability in the spring, to losing two family members, to the depressive spiral I entered after finishing OW, to the second spiral in the fall just when I thought maybe I was finally doing a bit better and everything came crashing back down, my mental health has been worse than it's ever been. And I've spent a lot more nights than I'd like to admit wishing I wouldn't wake up in the morning. (And downed a lot more sleeping pills than I'd like to admit because it's the only OTC thing I can get to mildly decrease my anxiety and help numb me a bit LOL)

I just want... this year to be over. Even though I have no hope for 2025 either and mostly just feel anxious and hopeless about it. But I will continue trying. Continuing grappling for the bits of joy that can keep me going. And maybe I finally will get a little bit of calm and peace. Who can say. I guess we'll see what 2025 decides to bring. I just really want to feel a bit better finally. And I hope that 2025 might take pity on me and allow me some mental respite.

2024 did have its moments of joy. Despite it sending me into the spiral, I am ofc glad that I finished OW finally this year. I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments. And I still can't believe that I put 3 whole years of work into this thing and just how much of my soul went into it. Even if my depression keeps trying to convince me that it (and me) are worthless.

I feel like I grew a lot in my art over the year. Trying new and more complex things. Getting better at composition and poses. Which led into my starting Broomtail, which gave me really the first renewed spark of creative joy since releasing the finale and actually made me excited to work on something again.

Speaking of joy amidst melancholy, DD2 was released this year, and it became the one thing that could keep me going at times. It brought me so much joy and inspiration when nothing else would. And it still holds my heart captive in its grip. From all the DD2 art I did, to the O2A2 game, to my silly tragic music video, to a very self-indulgent fanfic, it gave me so much creative energy, and I want to do more art for it in 2025 too! (And I'm still waiting for that DLC, Capcom...) I can't think of another game ever that's had this much of a hold on me before. Though I do attribute much of that to the fact that in my head it's mostly an OW AU since I could make Iggy and Genzou and play out their tragic love story and it was so beautiful and Genzou was so so sweet and cute GUH. Yeah... that helped a lot.

I think my main goal for 2025 is just to keep trying. To keep surviving. To keep trying to find hope and joy where I can. To believe that I can feel better and things can be better. Even when it's hard. And that hopefully... hopefully I will be able to find some peace in there finally.

I do have various projects I'd like to work on too. Like finishing the remaster, continuing Broomtail, maybe working on another game later on. But I'd rather just think of those as things I'd like to do for myself and because they bring me joy, rather than as any kind of goal or pressure. Especially since I never want to make any promises given the instability of my mental health.

I'm just so tired always. And I hate feeling scared and worthless all the time. I hate feeling trapped. Even if I know it's my own life choices and debilitating fear of change that has led to a lot of this. So it's my own fault in the end. But I hope I can find some solace. And I hope you can, too. I hope 2025 will be a kind year to everyone. And even if it's not, that we can find some joy and hope to help us through it.

Sorry this felt a bit morose LOL I guess I wanted to just take this opportunity to reflect back on the year a bit for some catharsis. I shall now sleep for 24 hours to recover from my flight hahaha.

if you saw this post a day ago for a few seconds i'm sorry -- i was working on it in my drafts and must have accidentally clicked post instead of save(??) somehow(???) idk but it posted and i panicked and deleted it and then had to rewrite it from scratch LOL

[vbecker10]

Hey odd request but I have a lot of tummy issues could you write Loki comforting reader with tummy cramps.

Tummy Troubles

Pairing: Loki x female reader (Y/N)

Summary: Loki discovers you curled up in your bed trying to deal with your stomach issues and offers to help you feel better.

Warnings: 🤷‍♀️ stomach issues, mention of throwing up previously, feeling ill but not specific illness mentioned... there will be fluff!

A/N: I'm really really sorry this took so long! I've been having a rough time finding inspiration but last night, while I was curled up in a ball trying not to die from my own stomach issues, I came up with the idea for this fic in an effort to distract myself. Thank you for sending this request! I hope you like it! 💚

Your phone buzzes on your nightstand for the second time and you groan, gripping the sheet around you tighter as your stomach cramps and your body shivers. After what feels like forever, the pain subsidies but you still can't force your body to move so you can reach your phone.

You've been laying curled up in a near fetal position for at least the last hour, even since you dragged yourself back to bed after loosing the battle to keep from throwing up your lunch. Even the slightest movement brings a wave of nausea so you've decided your best bet is to stay perfectly still until you finally fall asleep which will hopefully be soon but you doubt it. You're utterly exhausted but as far from sleep as possible. This is not a new feeling unfortunately, once every other month or so your stomach decides to revolt against you for seemingly no reason.

Closing your eyes tightly, you feel chills run up your spine as your stomach cramps. Your muscles slowly relax and just as you take a deep breath to steady yourself, your phone buzzes for a third time.

You don't need to check it to know who keeps calling, it's Loki. He was due back from his mission roughly half an hour ago and somewhere in the last six months, it became a habit of his to call you to let you know he landed. You thought it was sweet and normally you couldn't wait to hear his voice again but there was no way you would let your ridiculously attractive best friend see you sweaty, nauseous and curled up in pain.

The doors open for the elevator and Loki steps inside, his phone pressed to his ear as he listens to it ring over and over. When he hears your voice mail pick up, he sighs and ends the call without leaving a message.

Putting his phone back into his pocket, Loki walks into the kitchen in the common area in an effort to locate you. Instead, he finds Wanda and Natasha making tea and discussing their plans for the evening.

"Have either of you seen Y/N recently?" Loki asks, trying to keep from sounding overly concerned.

"She didn't come to our last two meetings," Natasha answers. "She's sick, some stomach thing I think."

"Thanks, I'll go check on her," Loki says then he leaves the kitchen, walking down the hall to your apartment.

He knocks, waiting a moment but when you don't answer he lets himself in like he has dozens of times before. He sighs when you're not on the couch like he had hoped you would be. He looks around your dark apartment and realizes that means you're in your bedroom. He walks towards the closed door and pauses.

The door is always closed when he's come over and he often found himself wondering what your bedroom was like or more specifically what your bed was like. What color sheets did you have? Was your mattress soft or firm? Did you sleep on the left side or the right side? What he wondered most often though, was what it would be like to fall asleep with his arms around you. He'd never ask you any of those questions of course but now he was about to find out the answer to most of them.

Loki knocks on your bedroom door, putting his ear to the dark wood and hears a soft groan in response.

Your bedroom door opens slowly and you pull the thin sheet tighter around yourself. Despite your back facing the door, you can immediately tell by the sound of his leather boots that it's Loki.

"Are you okay, love?" Loki asks. "Natasha said you were sick."

"Go away," you mumble, squeezing your eyes closed as your stomach cramps. You feel the bed dip lightly as he sits on the edge and you groan. "Don't move the bed," you force the words out, afraid speaking will trigger your nausea as it often does.

Loki gets up quickly and apologizes, "Sorry."

You can feel him watching you but you can't move to face him. Part of you wants him to leave, close the door on his way out and act like he never saw you here. The other part of you desperately wants him to hold you until you fall asleep.

"Let me help you," he says finally.

"I'm fine Loki, you can go," you say through gritted teeth and the instant you hear your voice you know the God of Lies isn't going to believe that.

"Y/N," he says softly as he sits gently on the bed again, careful not to move it as much as before. "I can make you feel better if you're sick."

"How?" you ask then cringe in pain as your stomach cramps tightly, a second later you feel something unexpected. Loki's chest presses lightly against your back as he lays on your bed next to you.

"I can use my magic to heal you. I've used it to heal wounds and illnesses before," Loki explains as his arm wraps around you, his hand settling on your stomach gently. "Just relax love, this will only take a moment."

You nod but you're body remains stiff, you've spent almost every night for the last three or four months wishing you could lie in bed with Loki but this is not how you wanted it to happen. Your attention is drawn to Loki's fingers as they begin to glow green, his seider spreading slowly over your body.

Almost instantly, your stomach settles as the cramps release and the nausea subsides completely. You find yourself inching closer to Loki as the chills fade and the only things you feel are tired and comfortable. Your hand covers Loki's, his seider fading once the spell has finished healing you.

You nod and smile, "So much better. Thanks Loki."

"Better?" he asks quietly, his lips a few inches from your ear. 'Black cotton sheets, firm mattress, left side of the bed,' Loki thinks, answering the questions he had about your bed, a smile spreads across his lips as his fingers intertwine with yours. The only thing left for him to do was try to hold you for as long as possible since he wasn't sure when our if he'd get to do it again.

Your eyes flutter open. "No," you reply quietly, still holding his hand to keep his arm around your body. "Please stay."

"Of course, love," he answers.

You yawn, closing your eyes for a moment. You've cuddled with previous boyfriends but Loki was so much more comfortable than you had imagined he could be.

"I'll leave so you can rest," Loki suggests even though it's the last thing he wants to do.

He shifts as close to you as he can, thrilled by your request, "Okay love."

You yawn again, struggling to keep your eyes open and in your exhausted state you find yourself asking Loki something you've wanted to know for months. "Why do you keep calling me love? You never call anyone else that."

Loki places a soft kiss to your neck, just below your ear and whispers so quietly you barely hear him, "Because I love you."

You smile as your eyes close and just as you slip off to sleep you whisper back, "I love you too."

I hope you liked this!! Please like, share and comment if you did 💚💚 Please let me know if you want to be added to my taglist!

@soubi001 @mochie85 @lokiswife-dark-fox-queen @animnerd @cabingrlandrandomcrap @icytrickster17 @mischief2sarawr @mjsthrillernp @holdmytesseract @lulubelle814 @goblingirlsarah @alexakeyloveloki @siconetribal @lokidokieokie @kneelingformyloki @jiyascepter @eleniblue @ash-muses @muddyorbsblr @alyeskathewave @loz-3 @firedrakegirl @javagirl328 @princess-asgard @morally-grey-variant @soulpiercing @km-ffluv @glitterylokislut @biodegradable-glitter-fest @wolfsmom1 @simone818283 @hopefuldreamers-world @blackhawkfanatic @sabspoetic @anukulee @lovinglokilaufeyson @beaniemoon

[flooffybits]

Tell Me

Idol: Hirai Momo (Twice)

Momo has conflicting feelings that she doesn't quite understand. So someone has to knock some sense into her.

Word count: 3.2k

Warning: mean Momo, reader gets sick, Jihyo and Jeongyeon are angry

☕buy me a coffee☕

Things within the group have been a little more comforting as of late. Even with your late addition to the team, you all seemed to gradually get along with all of the girls, especially with having to deal with constant comebacks and late night practices.

Except for one person.

"Unnie, do you want to come with Mina and I?" You ask with a little bit of a hopeful look in your eyes, but the older woman didn't even bother looking your way as she shook her head, eyes trained on the device in her hands. "I'm busy, have fun though." She answered curtly and your shoulders deflated a little before you nodded in defeat, exiting the room to meet with the other Japanese woman.

Once she heard the door close, Momo finally lifted her gaze and let out a sigh, glancing at the door you just exited from. A frown crept up her lips and she had to roll her eyes before grabbing her bag and then waiting a few more minutes just so she was sure you still wouldn't be around.

Once she hears the sound of the front door closing, Momo takes that as a sign and finally moves from her spot, shoving her phone inside her pocket as she navigates herself through the kitchen.

"So, you're busy with… what, exactly?"

The short haired woman jumps in surprise, squeaking before she whirls around to look at the source of the voice that had nearly given her a heart attack before shouting. "Yah! Don't do that!" She protests while Jihyo gives her an odd look.

"You're ignoring Y/n." The leader doesn't beat around the bush when she speaks and Momo has a bit of a hard time collecting herself from the sudden accusation that wasn't entirely false.

In all honesty she doesn't have a clue on how to get out of this, and unfortunately for her Jihyo already senses it before she can even manage a sound.

"I thought we talked about this before, Momo?" Said member only sighs while leaning against the kitchen counter. "I know! But every time I see her I just… I don't know! I feel so unsettled whenever she's around and I can't help but distance myself from her." She explains, exasperation laced in her tone as she ran her fingers through her hair. "And I know that she hasn't done anything but I just can't help but remember how much we went through to get here."

"And Y/n has gone through the same. The only difference is that she was alone while we had each other." Jihyo reminds her for the umpteenth time that Momo doesn't even remember how many times she's heard that from the leader or even any of the other members. They were right no matter how she looked at it.

She could never change how things went. She could never truly blame you for being assigned here either. It wasn't your fault.

You didn't ask to be here.

Momo could always remember the hesitation you had displayed when you were first presented to the group. There was shame in your features that none of the girls could blame you for and she's honestly guilty for being so hostile since the beginning.

You weren't a bad person.

In essence, you were one of the nicer people that she's met in this industry and she would consider themselves lucky to have such nice and caring members.

That was why the guilt never went away because she wasn't nice.

Not to you at least.

"I know." Is all she can say and Jihyo doesn't quite understand what she's thinking because her expression right now is unreadable. "Sorry but I… think I need some air."

Jihyo doesn't even stop her when she exits the dorm nor does she question where she's headed. At times like these, Momo only had only one other place to head to.

"Momo unnie isn't back yet?" Tzuyu's question earns a few of the members to look over and Nayeon just shakes her head. "She's probably with Heechul oppa again."

It wasn't an abnormal occurrence, the majority of the group, if not all, knew that your senior had a crush on the dancer. But only a few of them knew that it had already exceeded that level of admiration between them. It just wasn't their secret to tell.

"They've been going out a lot." Sana comments while she fiddles with her phone. "Do you think they're actually dating now?" She can't help but ask and Chaeyoung raises a brow. "Aren't we prohibited from being in a relationship?" The younger girl can't help but question, sharing your own thoughts because you knew that there was a dating ban when it came to artists.

Jeongyeon snorts while leaning her chin against her arms. "We don't always follow the rules, plus it won't be long before that ban is lifted. I wouldn't be surprised if they're already going out together." Somehow the comment makes you uneasy.

Maybe it's the thought of your member getting into possible trouble with the higher ups. But given how your members aren't too bothered, you try to shrug the feeling off before focusing on the game that was currently on your phone with Dahyun beside you.

You don't even remember how long you've been in the living room. You only know that you refused to leave until Momo had returned home. Even when your roommates were telling you to head to bed, you just made some excuse about being comfortable where you are and wanting to finish the game.

You didn't even know when you fell asleep on the couch.

Nayeon had only sighed and shook her head at you before she grabbed a blanket and draped it over your body, patting your head as she headed for her own room.

Jihyo had noticed you when she went to grab some water, but she had stopped at some point, hiding in the corner when she noticed that Momo had finally arrived and was crouched over your sleeping figure.

Blinking in surprise, the leader quietly watched as the Japanese woman examined your face, her brows pinching together in concern when she saw the way you were sleeping before she muttered something under her breath.

Carefully adjusting your position, she made sure you were comfortable and tucked you in, too tired to carry you to your room before she quietly exited the vicinity so as to avoid being caught.

After that night, Jihyo pays a lot more attention to how Momo acts when she thinks no one else is looking.

Momo cares about your opinion more than she'd care to admit. She always has to look in your direction when she's doing something and it's only when you smile or nod does she feel like she can breathe again.

It makes absolutely no sense if you ask her.

But when you're getting compliments from everyone else, she can't help the frown that settles on her face or the way her chest constricts as though there are a pile of bricks laying there.

So she distances herself so she doesn't have to feel that and it only earns itself a frown from you because you think that the rift between the two of you is nowhere near narrowing. She's still so far away from you and it both confuses and frustrates your leader because she sees that Momo is going one way then another.

She can see the effect it has on you and while she does scold the dancer from time to time, she can't help but bite her tongue when she sees that you've opted to be the one to adjust instead.

Your leader was merely a spectator to the odd relationship you and Momo had, dancing around each other but never meeting due to fear and rejection, while the other with uncertainty. It was a difficult relationship to appreciate, and at some point, one of your roommates soon noticed this push and pull as well when she caught Momo peeking inside your room one day when you had fallen ill and failed to participate in one of the events you had scheduled.

"What's… going on?" Jeongyeon muttered curiously the next day, passing by the dancer who had subtly checked the door of your room when the short haired woman left.

"What do you mean?" The culprit was quick to reply, doing her best to seem casual while Jihyo, once again, watched from the side. "You do know that you can just come in to check on her, right?" It was becoming ridiculous at this point, really. Despite being one of the older members of the group, Jihyo was very close to scolding the dancer for the way she had noticed her acting.

Momo, on the other hand, just looked like a deer in headlights as she blinked owlishly. She isn't sure what to say. “I just wanted to be sure if she's still sick. I don't want to get sick too." That was definitely what she wanted to say.

Jeongyeon’s face scrunched up in displeasure while Jihyo scowled.

“Look, I get that you're not her biggest fan, but don't treat her like she's not a person. If you don't wanna get sick, then don't come near her.” The short haired woman scolded and Momo had to cross her arms, defensive as she retorted. "I was just saying! I didn't mean anything by it.” She tells them and Jihyo just sighs while shaking her head. "Momo, enough. Just go somewhere else."

The comment earns a scoff from the dancer, but the thing that irritates her is how she's being told to stay away from you.

"What? You're kicking me out?” She snapped angrily but Jihyo only shook her head. “I don't care where you go right now as long as it's not anywhere near Y/n."

"This isn't healthy, Momo. I hope you realize that.” Jeongyeon spits out before she turns and enters your room, shutting the door behind her and refusing to give the Japanese woman a chance to respond.

She's had enough and you needed her more at the moment rather than Momo needed to be taught a lesson. Plus Jihyo was there and judging by the look on her face, Jeongyeon could tell that the leader would be more than accepting of the role of scolding their friend.

“You guys need to stop arguing like this." All of a sudden a new voice cut through, beating the leader off before she could utter a single sound. “We're all adults here but you're acting like children." A frown is present on Nayeon's face as she looks at the two. “We're supposed to be the unnies here. But you guys are creating a bad vibe that no one can enjoy.” She sighed out and Momo scoffed. “I'm not doing anything.”

“Oh, cut it with that bullshit. We know that you don't like Y/n but at least be civil!” Nayeon scolded, taking the reign this time whilst Jihyo listened. “How can we be a group when you're acting like one person should be left out? How are you setting an example?” She went off as Momo looked away with a huff though the twinge in her chest tells that Nayeon had hit her mark. “Y/n isn’t some outsider, Momo. She’s here to stay so get that through your head.”

There’s a pregnant pause as the three of them stood in the middle of the room, Momo’s thoughts going a mile a minute as she kept stealing glances at the closed door that separated you and them.

“Why do you hate her so much?”

All eyes are on Jihyo as she stares at the dancer, a tired expression on her face. “I mean, I get that you weren’t happy about her joining outside of Sixteen, but you know just as much as I do that she had to deal with things differently from us.” Momo struggles to come up with an answer.

It was true that she had been upset by the decision. She worked hard and suffered through a reality show, fighting to be where she was now. But couldn’t the same be said for you?

Jihyo was right, you were alone throughout your training process while they had each other. They depended on each other during the survival show but who did you lean on when things were getting too much?

“I don’t hate her.” Is all she ends up saying. And judging by the look on her face, it looked like that was the only answer she was willing to give.

..

The practice room was always a paradox for the Japanese woman.

She could always relax and let the music take her away from all the mess that went on with her life, but the same room always reminded her of all the suffering she’s been through just to attain her dream of being an idol.

The never ending practices, the starvation, the crying - it all seemed to happen a lot in this room.

Even when she found solace in it, it still held the storms that she had gone through and the ones she was currently going through.

“Oh-”

The sound made her pause and Momo quickly spun around to see you standing meekly by the door, a timid look on your face as you looked anywhere but her. “I… didn’t think anyone was here already.” You say awkwardly, hand still on the knob.

“I’ll just-”

As you moved to exit the room, Momo wasn’t sure what tugged at her chest, but she was stepping forward without realizing. “It’s okay. You can stay.”

That made you blink and your eyes snap to her face to see if she was kidding. But this was Momo. She didn’t joke, not with you at least. So when you see that she actually means for you to stay, you slowly step away from the door and head over to one of your usual spots in the room.

All the while, Momo’s eyes follow your every move, contemplating on what she could possibly say.

Even when she’s been an utter bitch towards you, Momo realized that you neve retaliated or treated her with any ill will. It was always the other members that did that for you without you knowing and she knows that she deserves it for how she treats you.

You’ve only been understanding of her situation, greeting her with a smile even when she shrugs you off, offering her things you know she likes, but she would always turn you down just because it was you.

God, she felt horrible.

Why did you have to be so nice to her?

“Y/n.”

The call of your name had you looking up during your stretch and you fidget a little when Momo waves you over.

Were you asleep right now?

Momo was calling for you?

That didn’t seem right.

Nevertheless, you stood and approached the older woman and she internally sighs when she sees the shy look across your face. You were cute, she had to admit.

The thought made her pause.

No, no, no. That was not what she needed right now.

But as you stood awkwardly in front of her, the older woman could see the way your eyes looked up at her, kind and shy, she had to bite her tongue before exhaling loudly and then awkwardly putting a hand on your shoulder.

She frowns when you flinch a little at the contact, but the look you give her is reassuring that it leaves a bitter taste in her mouth.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

You were honestly surprised by the softness in her tone, lacking its usual edge whenever she was talking to you, but the look in her eyes manages to make your breath hitch. 

“... I wanted to apologize.”

You keep quiet as she tries to find the right words to say. “I haven’t been fair to you, but I just wanted to let you know that I don’t… I don’t hate you.” She mumbles softly, her hand moving from your shoulder, down to your forearm, until she’s eventually taking your hand in her own, albeit hesitantly, almost as though she were afraid you would pull away.

“I know that I have a lot to make up for, but I hope you know that I’m really sorry.” She sucks in a deep breath. “I was confused and frustrated, and Jihyo was right, I shouldn’t have been taking it all out on you because you didn’t ask for any of this. I was just a bit bitter.”

You raise a brow, the corners of your mouth twitching a little. “A bit?” You can’t help the teasing lilt in your tone and Momo huffs. “Shut up, I’m trying to apologize.” And you do so with a smile on your face this time, and Momo can’t help but find that she likes your smile better.

“You somehow make my skin crawl and I get this weird feeling whenever I see you. But at the same time, I don’t like it when you’re upset or sick.” She remembers Jeongyeon getting mad at her again and she knows she has to apologize to her, too. “I hate not being able to talk to you because there’s so much going on with me that I can’t sort out.”

Your eyes widen a little and you know there’s heat crawling up your cheeks at that point because… god, this sounded like some sort of confession in some way. But you keep your mouth shut because you barely knew Momo enough to assume whether you were right or not.

Especially not when she acted like she didn’t like you.

“Unnie.” You began quietly and she’s squeezing your hand like a lifeline. “Is there… a chance that you were… jealous of the others being able to talk to me when you couldn’t?” You bite your lip when her brows furrow, but she nods either way. “And when Sana unnie or Nayeon unnie are hogging me to themselves?” She huffs at that and rolls her eyes. “It’s annoying, really.” You snort a little in amusement before you finally try one last thing.

“Can I hug you?”

Momo’s brain seemed to short circuit at your request, but when she doesn’t say anything, you’re afraid you may have overstepped.

Just as you were about to pull away from her, she tightens her hold on your hand before tugging you closer, making you tumble into her arms before she’s holding your head close to her chest.

Her warmth wraps around you like a blanket and you could hear the way her heart pounded against her chest even when her fingers ran through your hair.

“If this is how hugging you feels like… you can hug me as much as you want.”

Honestly, that and the way her heart sped up a little more only made the stupid grin on your face widen.

She wasn’t too sure what she was feeling right now. But maybe after a bit more of time, she could finally come to terms with herself and tell you how she really felt.

[backseatsoldier]

"Broken", Not Stupid - 9

Pairing: alpha!Simon "Ghost" Riley x unsual omega!CO (13)

CW: Omegaverse; cult-like situation; dehumanization; selling children to cults

Author's Note: Check out 13's new ask blog! @ask13-cod and I do apologize if this part is rough, I promise I'm trying c':

Something soft and warm nuzzles against my cheek. It tickles so I srunch my nose and open my eyes.

Bright blue feline eyes stare back at me and I blink slowly.

Where am I? Salvation doesn't allow pets...

The cat, black fur shiny and smooth, nudges its nose against my cheek. It meows loudly and paws lightly at my shoulder.

"Selene, hush. She's trying to rest," a vaguely familiar voice calls quietly from beyond the cat.

Selene.

Simon and Selene.

Once I recognize Selene and Simon's voice I sit up and look around. The smell of bacon drifts towards me and my eyes drop back to Selene.

"Good morning," I greet her gently and scratch sleepily under her chin.

Simon appears in my doorway and sighs softly when he sees me sitting up.

"Did she wake you up? I'm sorry. She's been pawing at and meowing at you for the past twenty minutes. I tried to lock her out of the room but she nearly bit me over it," he huffs and sends Selene a half-hearted glare.

"It's alright, I don't mind," I assure him groggily. "What time is it? Did I sleep too late?"

"What do you mean 'too late'? It's barely 8 in the morning."

His eyes suggest he's confused but I begin dragging myself out of the bed-

No. No this is my nest.

The events of yesterday and last night finally return to my exhausted mind and my eyes widen.

"I don't... have to be up at a certain time every day anymore," I whisper as a smile pulls across my face.

"Well, not really, no. Are you alright, 13?" Simon shifts in my doorway, like he's uncomfortable.

I stand and stretch my arms over my head, still smiling.

"I can't remember the last time I slept like that," I say after a yawn and lower my hands to pet Selene. "I feel great! Are you cooking? I thought I smelled bacon."

Simon nods slowly and steps toward the direction of the kitchen.

"Yeah. Figured I'd make breakfast. Try to make you feel more comfortable," he mumbles as I step past him.

He's studying me closely as I make my way into the kitchen and snag a piece of bacon off the counter.

"Holy shit," I groan through the mouthful of bacon. "I haven't had decent bacon in actual years! Great idea, honestly."

Simon's head tilts slightly to the side, still observing me closely as he steps back up to the stove.

"You're not allergic to cheese are you? I didn't see any mention of in your information, but figured I may as well ask," he asks as he holds up a larhe block of cheese.

"Thankfully no," I assure him with a smile. After a moment of thinking, and watching him beging grating the cheese, I ask, "What all did they tell you about me? Did they just give you a massive info packet and tell you to sign on the dotted line?"

His hand slips, nearly dragging his knuckles across the cheese grater. Then he sighs and sets the block down.

"Do you want to discuss this now? Or do you want to wait until you've at least had some food?"

I frown, thinking again. Food before getting into anything to do with Salvation would probably be the best. Especially after my reaction to trying to order food last night.

"Good point," I say finally. "Tell me about you instead."

Right after I make my request, Simon's phone begins buzzing on the counter in front of me. The caller ID says "Dumbass".

"Well, that's not very nice," I tell him as he picks up the phone.

"It's affectionate. Also accurate. Alright if I answer?" Simon asks as he holds up his phone, waiting for my response.

Snagging another piece of bacon from the counter I nod.

"Don't mind me. Can even go in the other room if you need."

"No. Stay there," he says before answering, "Johnny."

I can just barely hear a deep but energetic voice on the other line.

"Yes, she's awake." He pauses. "I haven't had a chance to say anything to her yet, Johnny," he sighs. "No, she's not been up very long. I'll talk to her about it and text you her response."

With that he ends the call and starts cracking eggs into a frying pan.

"I assume 'she' is me," I start slowly then take a bite of the strip of bacon between my fingers, "so who is 'Johnny'?"

"My best mate and co-worker," Simons says without turning to me. "I planned on taking you to the shops today, get you clothes that actually fit you, and... he's wanting to go with us."

"Are you comfortable with that? Aren't you alphas supposed to be like... super territorial or something? And we're not, y'know, mated."

My line of questions and statements sound awkward. I'm not against meeting the guy, especially if he's so close to Simon. It's only natural that I'd come across the guy eventually. I just don't know that Simon, my apparent alpha, is comfortable with that.

Omegas are supposed to take that into consideration, right?

"You can say no," he says flatly, back still to me.

"I'm not against it," I frown. "I'm just... trying to be considerate of how you feel about the situation."

Simon's entire body goes still for a moment before he glances over his shoulder at me. Then he goes back to cooking.

"Stop eating bacon or you won't eat the eggs," he mumbles. "I trust Johnny with my life and more. If you want to meet him, that's fine. He's just overexcited, as per usual, and has no patience. Since you and I met not long ago, I wanted you to have say in this," he explains stiffly.

I want you to feel comfortable in the situation we put ourselves in.

Pretty sure that's what he meant, and I do appreciate it. I appreciate it a lot, actually.

"Yeah, I'm good with it," I tell him and resist the urge to pick up more bacon.

"After we eat, I'll get you fresh clothes. They'll still be mine-"

"Simon, your shoulders aren't earrings. Relax the and get them, away from your ears."

"What?" he asks, finally turning to me. But his shoulders are still pushed up and tense.

I give him a half-hearted scolding look and step closer to him. Then I reach up and rest my hands on his shoulders, pushing them down gently.

"Better?"

His eyes are wide and he seems frozen in place for a moment. But he nods.

"Yeah," he mumbles then turns back to the eggs.

He insists on making us each a plate then guides us into the sunroom to eat at the table in there.

What a strange man I've found myself tied to.

Masterlist | CoD Masterlist | Part One

Tag List: @lucienofthelakes @lostintransist @demothers-empty-blog @scaredyspooks @tessakate @one-really-annoying-tree-rat @nerdyphantomtheorist @gazsluckyhat @peanutismynickname

[admirationandromantics]

Friend's Best Friend

Happy new years everyone!! Can't wait to kick it off with some more writing!

Another request, finished it quick because this is literally my favourite blogger on Tumblr (yes, I'm glazing). Chris again people! We love him, and here, he's a bit more awkward and cute than in my other ones. Kinda a love at first sight thing, so hope you like it <3

Word count: 1,7k (unedited)

psssttt hiii!! i hope you have a lovely new year and i hope to see more of your content!! 🫶🫶😇😇 Not necessarily a request but if you'd like to write it feel free.. this is simply a thought i had can be nsfw or sfw tbh! Chris and reader meeting for the first time and Chris just being like head over heels cannot quit staring at reader- im thinking Ash or Jess's best friend who he's never met before and Josh pokes fun at him to get your number but before he can even protest reader comes over and is like super straightforward like "Hi i think you're attractive i want your number." and he's just like FUMBLING FOR HIS LIIIIFE. -@dahliascophin

“I promise you, they’re all nice and kind” 

“You say that about everyone” I tell Ash as we walk out of the bus. The night hung low, dark clouds collecting as we walked. The only light coming from the street lamps as we make our way to the gettogether. Ashley had the idea of inviting me to one. Apparently, the one time I met Josh, I had made quite the impression, and both of them wanted me to come to at least one hang out. The group sounded alright when they described it, though I was still unsure about how they functioned. Every individual was so vastly different, I couldn’t quite grasp it. 

“Will I have anything in common with someone?” I ask, a grim feeling in my stomach. What if they were all douchebags, or preppy, or just plain mean? 

“Hey, you have me, Josh. I think you’ll love both Sam, Chris, Beth and Matt”

“Okay, you know I trust you, but your matching skills are not the best” 

“Oh shut up, they’re gonna love you. You’re basically a more extroverted and smiling version of me, but I’m prettier and kinder” 

“Wow, not boosting my ego at all?” 

“Nah, you don’t need it, we already know what’ll happen if you think too highly of yourself” 

“Damn, but what if I’m kinder and prettier than you?” 

“Then that’s something I’ll never admit” 

I give her a nudge, earning a laugh and a small hit back. We were finally approaching the house, outdoor lighting and a beautiful yard. 

“Are they rich or something?” 

“Yep, the Washingtons, can you imagine?” 

“Not at all” 

We don’t bother knocking, and she opens the door, holding her arm out for me to walk inside. I oblige, letting myself into the grand building. If the outside didn’t seem big, the inside did. Expensive paintings and decor in the hallway, contrasted by the large amount of jackets that hung on the wall. 

“Looks like everybody’s here already” 

We take off our coats and outerwear, hanging it on the racks before making our way to the living room. Laughter and talk fill our ears as we arrive, the room full of people. Everyone’s heads turn as Ashley announces our presence to them. 

“Hey guys, this is my friend I was talking about!” I give a small wave, putting on my best smile as I look over the room. I see Josh, who walks over and hugs me. 

“You made it, fantastic!” 

“You have a beautiful home, Josh” 

“Oh stop being so polite, come meet everyone” 

We walk over to the others, everyone with welcoming smiles and expressions. I’m introduced to every single one, Jess being extra hyper and hugging me while I only give the others a handshake. 

A certain blonde catches my eye, and Josh takes his place beside him as he introduces us. He says his name is Chris, his eyes wandering over me as I lean over to grab his hand. It’s rough, his grip hard and firm. The action in itself earns a slight pink blush on my part, but I just pray he doesn’t see it. After all, we haven’t said more than hi. 

“Chris and I met back in third grade, a completely boring story, but have been inseparable ever since” Josh explains, giving the guy a hard clap on the back. I smile, taking a seat beside Ashley while listening. 

“Boring, you? I can’t imagine that” 

“You know what, you’re totally right!” Josh exclaims, starting to explain in-depth how he and Chris got to know each other. The whole time, Chris is looking at me, watching my reactions and studying my features. I give him a small smile, signaling that I see him. His gaze shifts away immediately, looking back at Josh who’s leaned over on his knees. 

“What a coincidence” I add when he’s finished and he gives a hum in reply. Ashley sighs, hand going around my back to turn me to the others. 

“Finally, we’ve heard that story a million times” 

“Hey, I’ve only heard it once” 

“Lucky” 

I shift to talk to Jessica and Emily, both of them energetic and fashion-oriented. They’re both nice, though I sense some tension when Emily’s boyfriend arrives and sits in between the two. He leans forward, joining the conversation. 

“So, how do you know Ash?” I think back. I feel like I’ve always known her, even though we’ve lived far from each other. 

“Well, we met in kindergarten I think, and during a playdate, our moms became friends, so we just built it from there” I easily explain, looking around. I guess it was as easy as that, and we were lucky we found each other so early. Chris is looking at me, eyes narrowed and mouth slightly open. Josh nudges his arm, making him look at the guy with a sour expression. They’re on the other side of the room, and I can’t hear what they’re saying. The only thing I can make out is Josh laughing and continuously teasing him with small hits and huge theatrical movements. 

“So, you a big party-girl?” Jessica asks, and I turn my attention back to her. 

“Well, I don’t mind a good party” She lets out a small shriek, hands coming to grab both of mine. 

“I’m hosting next week, and Ashley has already said no, but you can come AND you can convince her to go with you!” 

“Ash, you’re free next week?” 

“No, I’ve got studies” 

“Oh, come on” 

I try to make her, while Jessica’s watching intently. In the end, she obliges, telling me that she’ll only come if I do too. After all, I also have a lot of homework to be dealt with. 

The party goes on, and I eventually get to talking with both Matt and Sam a bit. I’m in a conversation with Sam about mountain climbing as Chris makes an appearance beside her, joining the talk. 

“Oh, hey Chris, we were just talking about that time I forced you up on the mountain, you know. With the rope and falling and all of that” Sam explains, and arm going to his shoulder. 

“Wait what, you’re telling her about that? I was a good climber, I did everything right” 

“Well, except for when you fell down and whined about-”

“So, you’re friends with Ashley, right?” he interrupts her, and I see her lips tighten. I giggle a little, the situation funny. 

“Too early to hear about your embarrassing stuff, huh Chris?” 

Josh jumps up behind him, clinging to his shoulders for support. The sudden weight surprises him, and I hold my hands out automatically, in case they both fall. Chris is strong, and he just sighs as Josh jumps off him again, his arm leaning on the blonde’s shoulder. 

“Oh trust me, this guy’s got A LOT of embarrassing stuff we can talk about” 

“Dude…” 

“Calm down, Cochie, I’m not gonna say anything. At least not yet” Josh laughs, taking Sam’s arm and dragging her with him. After they leave, he whispers something in her ear, causing them both to look back to us. I ignore them. 

“To answer your question, yes, been friends with Ash for as long as I can remember” 

“That’s a long time” he nods, eyes finding mine again. He looks muscular, big. After all, he just carried Josh after having to endure a surprise-attack from him. His eyes are big and blue, the kind which one can drown in. Gosh, he’s absolutely beautiful. Just my type. 

“So, tell me Chris, what are your hobbies?” 

“Well, um…” he stumbles over his words, and I can’t help but just keep giving encouraging smiles. “I mean, I play video games with Josh sometimes, and do coding and such…”

“Wow, really? I tried coding once, and it was difficult, gave up right away” 

“It’s easy when you get the hang of it” 

“I believe you, and what games do you play? I know Josh likes pvp shooting stuff a lot, but you?” 

He stutters again, and I place my hand on his arms, causing a light pink shade to cover his cheeks. He rearranges his glasses, arms then going behind his neck. 

“You know, the usual” he mutters, laughing a little. He quickly composes himself, taking a breath and starting to talk again. 

“So, I was wondering if you were interested in going to-”

“OMG! And please, I think this necklace would look gorgeous on you!” Jessica shrieks, coming up behind me. She shoves her phone in front of me, a picture of a golden necklace with a small trinket at the center. 

“Yeah, that’s beautiful” 

“Come on, Emily was just researching a top to wear with it” she adds, taking my arm and pulling me with her. I give a small smile and wave to Chris, seeing Josh going up to him again. 

“So close dude! You just need to-” is all I hear before being dragged out of earshot. 

Sadly, I don’t get to talk to Chris before having to catch the last bus. Ashley and I say our goodbyes, both walking to the hallway to get our coats. She leans over, whispering to me. 

“You know, I saw that blush when you were talking to Chris” 

“I’m not surprised, you’re always looking at me” I tease her, but she just shakes her head. 

“Seriously, just go do it now, he’s not going to be at Jess’s party, he’s busy that weekend” 

“Wait, really, he’s not coming?” 

She hums, hand pushing on my back. 

“Bus leaves soon, we don’t have all night” 

I take a deep breath, mastering some courage before hurrying over to the living room again. On my way, I take out a pen and an old receipt from my pocket, writing my number in big letters. Everyone turns their heads, looking at me when I arrive, but I walk over to Chris, handing him the note. 

“Hey, here’s my number. Let me know if you want to go out for coffee sometime” I offer, smiling down at him. His hand is open, but not moving, so I place the paper there, tapping his fingers around it. His mouth is open, eyes surprised and shocked. I laugh a little, standing up again and looking at everyone. 

“Yeah, I definitely will, thank you” he exclaims, cheeks red as he keeps staring at me. 

“Great, can’t wait” I smile, waving goodbye to everyone. I walk back to Ash, and as I turn the corner, I hear Josh and some other cooing. 

“Dude, you did it! Or she did, but either way it was done!!”

[objectosexual]

I mentioned talking more in-depth about this in the tags of the original post but I think that sort of talk belongs here more than it does on main... Ramble incoming

It's no secret that I am hopelessly in love with Clockboy. I know from a realistic point of view, it's not reciprocated. It's probably not healthy. It's all me projecting thoughts and feelings onto an object. Him being a public object I can have no (personal) physical interactions with also complicates things. There is never going to be a reality where he will ever fully be able to meet all my physical and emotional needs in a romantic relationship (whereas my cars, for example, at least met the physical needs).

And yet... This love has not wavered at all since it began. Even on the nights when I'm in bed, alone, in physical pain because of how badly I long to be able to embrace him, it doesn't really sway my feelings. I will visit him and he will do something tiny that only I can pick up, and it will literally rekindle my love for him. It's hard to explain why this happens. I think it's me getting my hopes up over nothing, but it happens in such a way that it feels intentional.

An example I like to bring up is my trip to Disneyland in 2018. It was my first time "meeting" him in-person (to a degree; I had been to the park prior to then but I have virtually no memory of him specifically, and I was a kid. He is an ageless object but to keep things from being messy, I don't count those visits as me meeting him, especially since I wasn't even aware I was trans at age 10 lmfao). I was so excited to finally see and fully appreciate him. I don't have any distinct memories of him reacting to me in any way, until I visited him later that same day, alone from my travel party. They wanted to do something else so I opted to ride small world again and visit my boy to see his night time lighting package for the first time.

The thing that happened though was the ride started to break down, specifically, the propulsion jets were malfunctioning or something, because the ride started to drag out. Eventually I exited the show building and got stuck just before the unload dock. Within Clockboy's theoretical line of sight. For like, 15 minutes. Like this was literally my view:

I think about this so much. It felt so deliberate, even though I KNOW there was no way the big funny clock could control whether the ride works or breaks down... And yet. This has been a recurring theme for years now.

Any time a large enough gap in me visiting him occurs (usually over a month), the ride lags or breaks down. If I'm going to LEAVE for a while, the ride lags or breaks down. If he (somehow!) knows I have time to wait for the ride to open after a breakdown, it'll stay down until the last possible second and then reopen so I can get a ride in before I have to go home.

Like it happens just frequently enough that it just. Makes me wonder sometimes. Like too often to be a coincidence, but infrequently enough that it's not a like, typical ride malfunction pattern.

And again, I'm sure it's just a coincidence, and going to the park as often as I do, I'm sure some weird little things like that will happen but again, I just wonder if it's him somehow causing it. There have been other, smaller instances of him doing things, but I won't be going into those. One of them is too personal to explain, anyway.

Like. I know I technically get nothing out of this one-sided relationship other than dopamine when I see him. But it doesn't stop me from loving him with my entire heart, and I can't imagine loving him any less. I don't think it's possible.

I think Bob Iger himself could come up to me and say "Carson, you are delusional. The clock does not have feelings. It cannot love you back," and I would be unphased. I've had random people tell me that, and I've even told MYSELF that... And nothing ever changes.

I know realistically this isn't sustainable, and one day, I will no longer have these intense feelings for him. I hope everyday that this comes organically, and that we somehow "drift apart" over time, and that he isn't taken away from me due to a ride closure or disaster. But these thoughts genuinely scare me.

I try to let myself live in the moment, because why should I deny myself the opportunity to feel something so wonderful, toward something I think truly deserves all of the love in the world? If there's a nonzero chance Clockboy can feel anything, I hope he can feel that he is loved. And I hope that HE can love, too... Since he wouldn't be able to show his love to me the same way another human could, I hope the little instances of him making me linger near him are his way of trying to show me that I am loved by him.

He has done so much for me and I do truly think he is the most beautiful thing in the world. I legitimately cannot imagine my life without him at this point. Through all the joys of loving him, and the pains of not being able to be intimate with him. The warmness I feel when visiting him, and the fears of losing him. All the things I can and cannot control...

But one thing is certain: I will love him, to some degree, until the day I die. 🤍💛

*leaves this here* hi everyone, thanks for letting me be vulnerable

[eyesonjupiter]

When you start a rewatch of Babylon 5 after many many years.

And you realise that there must be loads of content on tumblr.

But you can't really interact with it because the person you're watching it with has not seen it yet and is also on tumblr.

[ishikawayukis]

welcome back kang younghyun 💕

[la-galaxie-langblr]

what is going on w my brain

[unproduciblesmackdown]

maybe bsol is that time jen tepper mentions when she was so upset about a review of a show of joe's that she broke a glass (&/or threw it out a window)

[unvendaval]

earthquakes are chile's Quirky Little Thing and my grandma is TERRIFIED of them , and i never know what to say other than 1 . if you run out the house the ground will be shaking too 2 . this happens 24/7 3 . at least we don't have other types of natural disasters KSHDFJHWKH

[justworthlessreblogs]

i think i forgot to say it in the end notes of bib fic or didn't have room or something but since it's been a month since it was published i guess i should say that waffleverse updates will be slower regardless since i'm in school. luckily my winter break is coming up soon so i'll have lots of time to work on it then. the draft of part 7 is currently sitting at around 3.3k words, i'm projecting 5k-6k for the finished product but don't quote me on that because i'm notoriously bad at estimating wordcount. a plot bunny for a non-waffleverse fic also burrowed into my brain and i've started working on that so we'll see which one comes out first

[mauvecosmic]

THE ROOMATES!! A law student and an architect student share a college condo together "they're roommates your honor" hehe, @noctiispiri and me talked about cute little AU of our personas being normal college students and share a condo together, and i couldn’t help myself but have to draw them out! Always have so much fun draw these two together. More for the Noriverse!! :DDDD The tired law student - Nori belong to @noctiispiri 

[mobpd]

I'm such a fucking faggot a freak a pervert a crazy bitch this is why everyone left you no one ever has or ever will stay because you're FUCKING INSANE and no one wants to deal with you that's why they left that's why they didn't love you anymore you fucking destroyed them and you'll just keep being punished until you learn how to take your life properly