#can't wait for 'could a depressed person make this? 2!!!'

[brujaluas]

What seems like a lie but will actually happen to you!

happy april fools day!!

Just kidding! I decided to use a deck that is extremely special to me. I'm going to show you some pictures of them. I'm in love with the way they look, they're beautiful!

I have a very personal and different connection with the beings that help me with the cards in this deck. I can't say much, because none of the beings who help me and are my companions when I need them, like... none of them like to reveal themselves. So, obviously, I respect that, but I feel such a different and good energy with these beings that help me, unlike anything I've ever connected with. If you follow my readings, you might even notice a certain difference in energy with this reading. I don't know. Let's see.

(I fell in love with the statue of the woman)

Pile 1

I think that out of all the piles, this one will fit the theme like a glove.

Wow! I see that some of you here might really like the concept of shifting or manifestations, subliminal audios, or are interested in knowing how it works and maybe want to apply it to your life. Am I right?

You're going to go through a metamorphosis, one that you've been waiting for a long time and really wanted it for yourself. I see physical changes for most of you, and they're positive changes. It could be a glow-up of any kind, but somehow it seemed really hard to achieve for you. Many of you daydream, shifting comes very strongly here for me, research about it if you don't know what it is! It may be interesting for you to find out. I see you aligning yourself with a thought, or organizing your mind, cleaning up what didn't interest you, like, many of us accumulate many thoughts, many opinions of other people, many "what ifs" being that this is not good for us, I see you cleaning this from your mind and only leaving what is necessary, it can be through meditation, a meditation before sleeping for at least 10 minutes could help you to start. I see you freeing yourself from a torment that you have been facing for a long time. For some of you here, it is as if you were very depressed about something or about life itself, but you are starting to get out of this gray area and moving towards your goals, having a personal or life glow, in any case, it is as if you have the power of nature with you.

Pile 2

Very interesting! This pile, the cards really talk to each other.

Most of those who choose this pile are women, and many have a desire for something big. The vast majority of you did not have stability in the past years or had a lot and want to continue that way. It is something that you value a lot: stability. You want to have a safe life, a good car in the garage, a comfortable wing, important and nourishing people in your life, a safe haven, an American dream hahaha, anyway, you really want to build a legacy, not only for yourself, but for future generations, many of you want to have children, or you want many friendships, many relationships, to be part of a community that works as a kind of life base, in short, you want something to nourish and be nourished, many want children here, seriously. And I see this coming true, you somehow achieving this, it even makes sense because I've been capturing the energies since I was shuffling the cards, and this pile always has many cards practically stuck together, while in the other pile everything came out clear and precise, here many cards came together, many of you really want a sense of community, one thing that comes to mind are the hippie communities of the 60s, many lived in somewhat isolated communities, just next to other hippies (it still exists today but less frequently), I'm not saying that you're a hippie (because there's no problem with that), just giving an example, many of you would like to live in a kind of community, be it of any kind, many children, many friends, many relatives, living in some isolated community, in any case, you will find a place to nourish and be nourished, to be something reciprocal, which is something you want most at the moment. reciprocity.

Pile 3

wow! oh I love this deck so much, I'll show it to you later, here too the cards talk to each other very well, a lot of cards were coming out and I asked for three to come and seconds later these three came that talk to each other very well.

you are in a time to reap the fruits of your work, of your commitment, of the love you gave to something or someone, of your effort, more than anything, it is a time of harvest! keep that in mind! you will reap many different fruits in your life, even from years past, you will blossom, seriously, it is as if you were a small seed at the moment, but this harvest will make you become like a beautiful tree full of fruits and flowers, I think many of you live in the countryside, or like to go there. You will cultivate good and new memories, new ways of achieving your goals, a new mentality, new thoughts, new experiences, it is time to reap good fruits from the past and use them in your future that also has everything to be prosperous, many of you are naive so be careful with that, you are not bad for not accepting everything that others want you to do, the beings of the universe like you very much, you have a very good heart, I loved your energy, keep it up and protect yourself from the world, they can be cruel and not know how to understand your nature and way of acting.

[captain-huggy-bear]

To Fight a Ten Year Old

Pairing: Quinn Hughes x Fem!Reader

Warnings: N/A

Summary: In which Quinn is prepared to time travel to whoop some ten year old butt because you tell him a story from your childhood and he takes it personally.

Notes: Alas, I did in fact experience this as a child, but I can laugh about it now :) Also writing soccer instead of football actually hurt me.

Very silly + short idea to be honest but hope it brings a smile to some faces!

Totally happy to take requests/ideas/prompts at the moment in my ask box :)

Writing Masterlist

It's a stupid little back and forth the two of you have going as you get ready for bed, silly little questions like 'tell me about your first broken bone' and 'why is your favourite animal your favourite?'. It's something Quinn and you have been doing since you first started dating. It started as a way to get to know each other better and ended up a habit, a ritual of sorts.

Each year the questions get harder to think of as your lives become more intertwined, most of your stories featuring the other, but it still raises interesting moments from your childhoods and silly little stories that explain a lot about you or him. Things you probably wouldn't find out about each other unless you asked these random questions or a family member brought it up at Thanksgiving or Christmas.

Today is no different. You're going through your night routine, taking off your make up and moisturising your skin, while Quinn brushes his teeth in the adjoining bathroom, door open so you can talk.

"Okay..." He's thinking hard, even as he talks around his toothbrush leaning his head out of the bathroom to watch you as you wipe away your eyeliner, "How about first heartbreak?" His voice is muffled around the toothbrush and almost sounds like he's underwater, despite this he never seems to want to wait until he's done.

"Like first heartbreak? Or first proper heartbreak?" You're running a cloth over the rest of your face as you ask, wiping away concealer and blush, an array of colours smearing the fabric. Your skin being revealed bit by bit.

"What's the difference?" He briefly disappears back into the bathroom to spit out his toothpaste and put his toothbrush away, but you know he's still listening as you explain.

"Well, first heartbreak is that time as a little kid that you thought you were in love and got hurt by it but it wasn't serious. You were probably over it by the next week, and first proper heartbreak is when you're older and it actually is heartbreak and you can't get over it for at least 3 months."

He hums as he comes back to lean against the doorframe, shoulders looking delicious without a shirt on, "First heartbreak, probably less depressing for a Monday night."

You take a moment, reaching for your moisturiser as you think back. There are many moments you could think of where you thought you were in love as a litte kid and had your heart broken as a result, but one stands out the most.

"Okay, um...When I was 10 years old I really liked like this boy in class called Cameron but Cameron really liked Emily, a girl 2 years older than us." You can still remember it now, the way he used to sit with her whenever he had the chance, how she clearly did not want a kid 2 years younger than her hanging around, how lovesick he was...how lovesick you were.

"Okay, so Cameron likes a cougar?" You glare over at him as you rub moisturiser into your skin, disapproving as he grins at you, straight teeth peeking out from behind his lips.

"2 years apart at the age of 10 and 12 does not make someone a cougar, Quinn!"

"I don't know, baby, seems pretty cougar-ish to me." You roll your eyes at him as he strolls closer to you, taking your comb in hand and tilting your head forward gently. He's careful as he starts to detangle your hair, careful not to pull too harshly on your scalp, much kinder than your mother used to be when you were a child. Quinn's always careful not to hurt you, apologetic if a tangle pulls too roughly.

"You're ridiculous. Anyway, where was I?" You reach for the detangler handing it back to him as he works, closing your eyes gently.

"You liked a spotty kid called Cameron." There's a hint of dislike riding his voice, even as his fingers are careful as they pull strands of your hair apart, teasing out knots.

Your eyes flash open and meet his in the vanity mirror, lips pursed at the way he insults a ten year old he's never met, "I liked a tall, cute kid called Cameron who was into soccer."

"Yeah, like I said, spotty." The dislike turns to a jealous sort of mumble, matched only by the sour look on his face that has you huffing out a laugh.

"Are you jealous of a ten year old?"

"He's not ten anymore..."

"Do I need to remind you this is a story of heartbreak?"

"Still, should've been me." His hands slide from your hair, comb having been put back on the side, and down to the base of your neck. Long fingers working at the tension there, you lean back into his fingers even as you call him out for his ridiculousness.

"We didn't even know each other! You're absurd, anyway, so I was certain Cameron was my future husband and I decided to be very brave one Valentine's day and get him a card and a gift." You lean a little to the right as Quinn hits a knot on the left side of your shoulder, you sway back into him.

"I'm proud of little you, that's gutsy." He can almost imagine it, little you bravely handing over a glittery red and pink monstrosity, little bows in your hair and chubby cheeks.

"I know, braver than I am now." You're not sure you'd have been brave enough to do something like that now, it had been Quinn after all who'd made the first move, Quinn who'd set the pace of your relationship at the start, "So I get him some chocolates, those stupid cheap heart shaped ones, and I make a stupid card covered in glitter and all sorts. I take my time and I write a heartfelt confession inside and then decided to give it to him in front of the entire class."

"No..." His voice drops, horror filling it as he looks at you through the mirror, mouth slightly open, eyes wide. You nod at him, confirming his worst fears, he knows how this is about to go down.

"Yeah, rookie move. I do it though, I hand it over and then he proceeds to not even read the card and um, rip it up in front of me and the entire class while telling me that he was going to marry Emily."

His fingers still in their massage. In fact, Quinn completely stills, his entire body rigid as he frowns at you through the mirror, there's a silence, long and heavy before he speaks.

"Where does Cameron live?"

"Quinn." You turn in your seat to look up at him, lips pursed together.

"I'm serious where does he live I'm going to go have some words with him," He crosses his arms and there's a brief moment where you're distracted by the strength and definition in his forearms before you really process that he's considering having words with a guy who broke your heart when you were ten.

"About his choices when he was ten?"

"Yeah! Who does that to someone, not only did he reject you, which is an insane decision by the way, he embarrasses my baby in front of the entire class!" Quinn reaches for your hands as he rants, pulling you to your feet, as his fingers twist and twine with yours. You'd think he's just joking but his tone is completely serious and it makes your heart warm, no matter how silly he's being. He's genuinely personally offended on your behalf about something that happened when you were a child, before you knew each other. It's sweet. Silly and absurd, but sweet.

"You can't fight a guy who broke my heart at the age of ten."

"Sure, I can or I can get Millsy to do it." He cracks a smile at that, even though he's serious about wanting words with this Cameron, he's also aware he's being absurd. He tugs you closer by the hands even as you glare up at him like a disappointed parent.

"You are not setting Miller on my childhood crush!"

"Why not?"

"Because it's ridiculous! It was over a decade ago!" Even as you protest you're smiling, arms reaching up to rest over his shoulders and around the back of his neck. Fingers twisting the strands of brunet hair that rest there.

"And, he broke your heart and that's not acceptable, baby, i'm sorry, I have to defend your honour." Quinn palms rest on each of your hips, pulling you in as his fingers curl into your pajama bottoms.

"But, it was a good thing."

"How is that a good thing?"

"Because if he hadn't done that, I might have married him and been stuck in a loveless marriage and then never met you or met you but not been able to be with you." You look at him with a little smirk like you've beat him at his own game, like you've outplayed him in a game of chess.

"So you're saying that I actually should be thanking that spotty kid for breaking your heart?"

"Yes."

There's a moment of silence as he draws you ever closer, leaning down to brush his nose against yours, all soft lidded eyes and warmth. Pliant like a docile house cat.

"I'm not thanking him, I will, however, not get Millsy to fight him." It's mumbled so close to your lips that they're brushing his, an almost kiss that speaks volumes about where his mind is now.

"Good, because I'm not breaking you or Miller out of prison."

"You don't love me enough?" He doesn't even have the decency to pretend to be offended or care as his eyes are heavy, focus on your lips, not your eyes and certainly not on the ten year old he was threatening to set Miller on 5 seconds ago.

"Oh, I love you enough, but I do not have that skill set, honey."

"I don't know, think you could probably charm the officers into letting me out, baby." Quinn brushes the tip of his nose purposefully with yours and you know he's seconds from breaking and just kissing you, he has his tells, his little gestures that have consistently given him away.

"You suggesting I seduce the police now?" You pull back just enough to get his attention, to force a pout from him at the distance, his fingers scrambling at your back to pull you back in.

"...Nawwh, only me."

"You're an idiot." He pulls in you in with enough force that your chests bump with a soft smack, rubbing his cheek against yours just because he knows the stratch of his beard will get a giggle from you as you shy away from the sensation.

"I'm your idiot though."

"Mmm, my idiot." You mumble it against his lips as he finally breaks, self control being ditched in favour of the way you sigh against his mouth. He tastes like spearmint toothpaste, minty and sweet as his lips part beneath yours with a hum.

Maybe heartbreak at ten sucked, but you can't help but be thankful for it when you ended up winning the jackpot when you scored Quinn. So much better than spotty ten year old Cameron.

[tealvenetianmask]

Stolas Makes Decisions Alone

I'm here to predict more problems ahead for Stolas. But don't worry- I do think he'll get through them because of character growth.

Stolas has a pattern of taking drastic actions that he believes are right and getting so caught up in his own point of view that he doesn't really listen to anyone else. I don't think he realizes this about himself. As much as he's now dealing with the consequences of his decisions at the end of Season 2, he hasn't yet learned that he can't go it alone. That he needs to communicate with the people his decisions impact- namely Blitz and Octavia, the people he cares for most. What I'm saying is, even though he's not the only one, our lovely owl man is a misunderstanding factory.

As for why he's like this, I have some ideas, but first, let's quickly go over the ways we've seen this behavior play out in HB.

It's treated as kind of light in Season 1 . . . despite being great with words, he's a lousy communicator because he gets carried away with his own ideas.

In Murder Family, Stolas has no idea that Blitz is panicking and . . . yes, I believe feeling pressured in this moment, even if he likes the deal later. In Loo Loo Land, he doesn't pay attention to Octavia's (not subtle) reactions enough to realize that no, she does not want to go to Loo Loo, and she absolutely doesn't want to bring the person Stolas cheated with along as a bodyguard. Also . . . as soon as Stolas listens to Octavia here, their communication improves, and Octavia is allowed to decide on the next father daughter activity.

The independent decision making tendency becomes more serious . . . tragic . . . in The Full Moon.

Stolas goes into the episode with a plan to do what he believes is right (freeing Blitz from himself), and he's so set on it that he blindsides the guy and shuts him out at the first hint of rejection, unable to pay enough attention to realize that it's . . . not actually rejection, just another wounded person reacting to a sudden change, since the entire decision making process already happened inside Stolas's mind.

Okay . . . Mastermind and Sinsmas.

I'm letting him off the hook for Mastermind, because he had only seconds to do something to save Blitz's life. I don't think he's wrong here. BUT symbolically, in the courtroom, Stolas rarely looks at Blitz. Someone who loves him is standing behind him, and there are moments of recognition between them, but Stolas still faces the decision, and his fate, alone.

In Sinsmas, we get the most blatant version of this kind of decision making. Yes, I know he's off his meds and going through a lot. He could have waited a few more minutes for Blitz to get back and talked through his decision to march up to his palace and demand to see his daughter. Blitz could have helped him calm down, and they could've had a conversation and decided on the best way to do it.

But that isn't how Stolas makes decisions. It isn't how he's EVER made decisions. Helping Stolas would put Blitz in danger, or Blitz might try to convince him to wait. So in Stolas's mind, if it's a choice between being kept from his daughter and dying alone by Andrealphus's hand, well . . .

There's so much that could be discussed here. Medication/depression. Suicidality. Autism . . . does this pattern stem in part from difficulty reading social cues?

These are all topics worth analyzing but . . . here's one thing that I think is at the core of Stolas's character regardless of the situation or other factors.

Stolas had all of his decisions made for him for his entire life. No one consulted him. Ever. Not about his career. Not about his marriage. Not about how he would choose to behave and conduct himself in the world.

Then when he was somewhere between 18 and 20, he had a child. And suddenly, his decisions mattered. Not in the big ways for himself. He still had to carry out all of his responsibilities. But he could decide how to raise this kid (Stella wasn't really interested in raising her after all). He could do everything in his power to make her childhood joyful, to make her feel loved, to teach her that she could be herself.

The problem is, making decisions for a kid doesn't make you a great collaborative decision maker. Being a parent means being an authority. He wasn't totalitarian like his own father, but there wasn't really anyone to honestly talk through his decisions and process his emotions with. So he's spent 35ish years never making a decision with someone else.

He's also rich and powerful, and that both keeps him isolated and gives him . . . a somewhat outsized view of his own importance and ability to control situations, in my opinion.

But now Octavia is 17, and making decisions that impact her without adequately communicating doesn't really work anymore.

And the other person he loves is Blitz. And yes, Mastermind is an exception, but Blitz usually doesn't need to be rescued or protected. He certainly doesn't need to be protected from Stolas (i.e. The Full Moon). He needs a partner. And Stolas needs one too.

So yeah, until Stolas learns to communicate (or at least learns that it's necessary) I worry about what he'll go off and do on his own.

Note: please don't take this as me blaming EVERYTHING on Stolas. Blitz and Octavia both have some responsibility for the miscommunications that go on. I just think this particular tendency of Stolas's is interesting and wanted to explore it.

[genericpuff]

Life update! This is frankly one I've been trying to avoid but at this point it's kiiinda super necessary ┬┴┬┴┤(･_├┬┴┬┴

DISCLAIMER: VERY LONG POST AHEAD. A LOT OF IT IS ME TALKING ABOUT LIFE SHIT OBV. I RAMBLE A LOT AS I TEND TO DO. I'VE BOLDED THE IMPORTANT SHIT SO THAT HOPEFULLY IT'LL MAKE IT EASIER TO PARSE THRU. PLS FORGIVE ME ;-;

------------------------

First things first, I quit my job! Or rather, I put in my resignation letter with my current shop, with two weeks notice. Not something I had to do, I just felt it was the least I could do to go out on decent terms (and it means I can honor the appointments I still have booked and use the time to notify all my clients).

There were several reasons for leaving but ultimately it was a personal decision that will - hopefully - allow me to build a better environment for myself within the larger tattooing industry. I've learned through too much trial and error with all the shops (of which there have been 3) I've worked in that I don't particularly enjoy working in one single shop under one single shop owner. It's often counter-intuitive with my ADHD and anxiety, and it's kind of hard to address my mental health problems when I'm still in an environment that exacerbates them.

Of course, this wasn't an "all or nothing" decision because I frankly wasn't giving up a whole lot by leaving. The tattooing industry has been going through some hard times, between The Great Depression 2: Electric Boogaloo and the oversaturation of shops that exist everywhere now (seriously, everyone and their mom nowadays is a tattoo artist). Not only is the industry changing and being forced to adapt, I too have to change and adapt, not just to maintain my place in this industry, but to align it more with what I need within it, rather than trying to force myself to align with what other people often project (and believe me, some of the people in this industry do a LOOOT of projecting, tattoo artists ruined the tattoo industry fr LOL)

So it's scary, but it's necessary. I'm still gonna be tattooing, but I'm doing it on my own terms now. Instead of locking myself down to a single shop environment waiting for the work to come to me, I'm going where the work is, through guest-spotting and expos and whatever other collaborative opportunities I can find, something that I was a lot more restricted in doing with single shop environments.

Also I'm just like, tired of being broke from not getting more consistent work and the shop splits cutting all my generated income in half LOL There's a reason so many artists - even established folks who have been tattooing for decades - are going private nowadays or opting instead for booth rent shops over the 50/50 splits. I could go on for ages about this but I'd rather spare you all the details because they frankly don't matter here and I don't want to dwell.

Buuut making this decision is, ultimately, to address both my exacerbated anxiety from working in a shop environment, and my financial issues from said environment not benefiting me. Especially now that-

-------------------------

-my roommate is moving out in April! I'm very excited but also very terrified. This will be the first time my husband and I have ever been able to live alone since we started living together some 6-7 years ago. Yeah. As much as I'm a social person, at home I'm a hermit and introvert, and I'm frankly just sick of people who I'm not romantically committed to constantly being around. Even when they're sweet people (which my roommate mostly is) it's still like living around a sinkhole. Sure, it's pretty simple to just walk around the sinkhole and place all your furniture around it and mind where it is at all times, but it sure would be nice if the sinkhole just wasn't there to begin with, y'know?

There are so many things I've been wanting to do and simply can't on account of living with a roommate, projects that I want to pursue, spaces that I want to create for both myself and others. Knowing that she's leaving in April has almost made me even more anxious and impatient, because now I'm actually thinking about all the things that will improve and become available to me just with one less person in the house and I'm DYING for it to finally be reality. I can finally have an actual dedicated workspace area that isn't just a corner of a small den, we can separate our leisure space from our work space, we can decorate the whole place how we want it, we don't have to worry about being intruded upon during our conversations, we'll have so much more counter space in the bathroom and kitchen, we don't have to pray that she's not in the bathroom every time we need to use it because that inevitably means we either have to wait an hour or go piss in the corner toilet shoved next to the washing machines, we can put the doors that originally separated the living room from the kitchen and hallway back up because she had removed them to make space for her 15437281 bookshelves. Much of what I'm describing isn't anything that was her 'fault', it was just the circumstances of living with a roommate which I'm just so excited for my husband and I to get away from.

But of course, her leaving means we now gotta make up for what she would normally cover in bills each month (the biggest of which is obviously rent). And with how dire the tattooing scene has become, leaving my shop to pursue other ventures - even if it costs me more time and money and energy on the forefront to do so - felt like a necessary change, because staying there certainly wasn't gonna accomplish anything, either. The shop kind of felt like a sinkhole in and of itself as well, a bottomless pit of unrewarded effort and stress, weighing down on my subconscious every day. While many of these feelings were largely personal, they weren't helped by the nature of that environment being what it was.

Part of my ongoing treatment for my ADHD is accepting and reminding myself that it is a disorder and that I need to allow myself to walk the path of least resistance, rather than force myself to conform to what I think I "should" be able to do out of the instilled belief that if I can't, I'm "failing". Rather, I need to actually build an environment for myself that doesn't work against me. It's not that I'm failing completely on my own, it's a failure of the systems and environments that I've forced myself to exist in for years. What I'm trying to do is going "against the norm", sure, but for someone with ADHD, going against the norm is necessary because the norm isn't built for me.

Going solo with my tattooing and freelance work might end up not panning out, but I won't know until I try, and for now, it sure beats the path of resistance that I've been drudging through with what's now amounted to very little. Going solo means my time is my time again, as is my work and rewards. As scary as it was to hand in that letter of resignation, I've removed myself from the path that was hindering me and set myself on another that promises, at the very least, change. Whether or not it ends up being beneficial or productive change, well, that's something I'll be finding out as I walk it. At least now I can walk it with my head held high and my hopes renewed.

---------------------

It goes without saying that this year has been a rough one so far, and we're only at the end of March. I'm sure most people can tell that I'm not really as "present" as I used to be, especially when it comes to the constant delays in Rekindled updates and lack of posting outside of that. I've been in a state of limbo, where everything and nothing is happening at the same time, waiting for the moment when I could finally make progress (and as I described above, much of that has been tied to my roommate finally leaving). With the move-out date right around the corner, and my resignation handed in, it feels like I can finally start removing things from my plate to make it more manageable, and rearranging everything to include the things I want rather than the tasteless, unfulfilling garbage I've been choking down.

But that leads me to one of the things that will be getting removed from that metaphorical plate.

------------------------

Anyone with ADHD and RSD knows that it's hard to be selfish, even when the situation calls for it. But sometimes you have to be, for the sake of establishing and respecting your own boundaries and care.

So, in a little act of selfishness for the sake of self-care: Episode 70 will be going up as soon as it's available, I'm hoping by next weekend at the latest. After that, Episode 71 will also be going out as soon as it's available, hopefully within 2-3 weeks time as has been needed over the past few months. This will hopefully line up with my resignation from my shop.

Following Episode 71, Rekindled will be taking a mid-season hiatus.

I know this kind of sucks considering all the delays we've already endured, but it's precisely because of those frequent delays as of late that a hiatus is sorely needed. It not only gives me time to rebuild a buffer of some kind, but largely to focus on cleaning up that aforementioned plate of bullshit that Gorgon Ramses himself would throw at a wall.

I'm aiming for the hiatus to last between 2-3 months. During this time, I'm hoping that I'll find enough stability in my real life to dedicate time and care to it again. The reality is that a free-time hobbyist project like this does require free time. And that free time is hard to justify when it's all the time on account of lack of consistent paid work. To put it simply, if I don't have a roof over my head, I can't keep doing what I do here. Rest assured, it's not that dire yet, but it would be if I stayed on the same path. Projects like these are at their best when they can just be done in one's free time, for fun, without the stress of mounting bills and other responsibilities piled on top. That pile's been getting pretty high for me lately and now even Rekindled hasn't been safe from it - while the art and story has continued to elevate itself with each new episode, the turnaround time has lengthened and the stress of Real Life™️ outside of it has affected my own enjoyment in making it.

I love making Rekindled. But if I want to keep loving it, I have to put it aside for a bit so I can cultivate a better environment in which to create it in. Ultimately the suffering and spite isn't what makes Rekindled great, it's joy and care. And neither of those things can be committed to it when everything else around me feels like it's been burned down.

I do still have my own doubts with this decision. Going on long-term hiatuses has always been difficult for me, largely when it comes to getting out of them (fans of my original work are all too familiar with this). But I know the circumstances here aren't the same, and that they won't repeat themselves if I don't allow them to. I have far better tools to combat burnout now than I did even just a year or two ago, but one of those tools is drawing boundaries and knowing when to step away.

-----------------

This was obviously a VERY long post and I realize with the Rekindled hiatus announcement near the ass end, a lot of people will surely be wondering where tf Episode 70 is LMAO but I'm sure I'll get asks in my inbox about it anyways that I can respond to, and when we actually go on mid-season hiatus, it'll be mentioned properly in the episode itself with a link to this post.

With my roommate moving out soon and my shop resignation now turned in, I feel like now I at least have the mental room to start breathing again, rather than gasping for air. And that will, in the long run, also allow me to create even more cool shit for both myself and all of you :> I do have plans, both for Rekindled after its hiatus and other projects (wink wink), that I now feel like I can start really getting off the ground with the shackles of my living situation and work environment finally loosening. And I do hope that, whenever those plans start to materialize, y'all enjoy what I have in store! It'll take some patience, and a lot of work, but it's work that I'm hoping will pay off in all the best ways ┬┴┬┴┤･ω･)ﾉ

Thank you all for your patience, kindness, and support. I know I've been saying this a lot lately with each episode delay, but I am really grateful to get to create what I do for you all. And I wanna keep doing it. I just can't do it without filling in that pesky sinkhole first (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و

[im-not-a-ghost]

Pick a main character & I'll give you 13 facts about your secret admirer [part 1]

Images found on Pinterest. Deck used : golden thread tarot.

Group 1

7 of swords, 5 of pentacles, King of cups, Empress

You have no idea who this person is because they've lied to you about their real intentions. You'd never suspect this person to admire you in secret.

This is someone that tends to get lonely and remains guarded around people. You never know what they think, who they truly are, what they want from you. They may be refered to as a "cold", "heartless" person.

You are not in contact with this person at the moment.

Despite how people may perceive them and their harsh exterior, this person is incredibly loving and caring. They are the safest person to be with and they wouldn't hurt a single soul.

They are either a heavily Scorpio or Taurus influenced person.

This person misses you dearly and wishes they could be closer to you.

Most people get scared of them because of their depth and intensity. They get wrongly accused of being a bad person or someone dangerous. Most people never see beyond the surface and keep them at arms length.

Despite their very bold demeanor and independent attitude, this person is very feminine in nature. They could give everything they have to the people they trust.

Once you gain this person respect, it is very hard to lose it. You must be the biggest piece of sh*t if you ever cross this person. Because the last thing they want to do is to hate on people and be in conflict with them.

This is someone that feels extremely lonely because most people don't understand them.

They are incredibly smart and witty but most people don't get to see that from them. People tend to underestimate them.

They are very protective of their loved ones and their private space. If you touch anyone they love, you're a d**d man.

They give the best hugs and can be very reassuring, comforting, nurturing. They also cook the best meals and enjoy baking. They are also very good in bed so whoever manages to win their heart will be very lucky.

Group 2

ace of wands, 5 of cups, king of wands, 10 of swords

They cannot stay in place. They always feel the need to wreack havoc, stir some trouble, put some spice in the pot. That includes bed time activities.

They got their heart broken more times than they can count. They tend to be deceived in love because they grant their trust too easily.

They have a bad temper and they can be pretty stubborn. But they're also extremely brave and communicative, they are not afraid to state their mind and say what needs to be said.

They have a very combattive, competitive spirit. They can't stand losing to someone else, whether it's in games or in life, especially when it comes to relationships.

They are jealous af. But also kinky af. It is hard to get them to stop once you've set them ablaze.

This person has gone through hell. It's a miracle they're still breathing. They're a force to be reckoned with and whoever messes with them is going to face retribution one way or another.

They are sooooo petty. They could wait for years to see a project come to fruition, even if it is painful and difficult, only to be able to prove everybody wrong.

They've struggled with depression and may still be going through it at the moment.

They are amazingly creative. This person is a wonder and they make people question their sanity sometimes. They can create anything out of nothing and often times get incredible ideas that make people go "where the heck do you get all these thoughts?!".

Speaking of thoughts, they got many of them. Too many for their own good. And most of them are R-rated. But they would never admit it.

This person enjoys sports of all kinds. But I'm specifically picking up on running and working out at the gym.

They're a huge flirt. They're "too sexy for their shirt". And one of the reasons why they often get in trouble is because they can't keep their eyes and their tongue in check. Basically, they have an "act first think later" type of mentality that isn't always beneficial to them.

They may have a lot of mood swings and have a hard time dealing with their emotions. One day they're super cheerful and friendly, the other they're gloomy and sarcastic. Or maybe they're just a Gemini. You never know which side of the coin you'll get.

Group 3

4 of cups, High Priestess, ace of pentacles, 10 of pentacles

This person is incredibly shy and reserved, so much so that not even their own family knows them. They are so secretive. Even psychics wouldn't be able to see their core.

Speaking of psychics, this person could be one. If not, they have the ability to but may not be aware of it.

They enjoy their own company and are not afraid to be alone. They are not used to mingling with people. The reason why they admire you remains a mystery to them.

They are very generous with their time, money, advice, care. They never look down on people and never take for granted what they have.

They are highly educated and/or come from a wealthy family. If not, they are well established and have built a life they can be proud of through constant effort, hard work and patience.

They are incredibly resilient and loyal to a fault. They're also very stubborn, opinionated and unwavering. Once they have an idea in mind it is hard to stop them.

This person has a very magnetic presence and they can be quite intimidating. But the curiousity always gets the best out of people. No matter who you are, you just simply can't ignore this person's aura.

Ironically, people would never expect this person to be as wealthy and well established as they are, as strong and determined as they are. This person is often times underestimated or overlooked. It's like they just can't accept that someone like them can be succesful. That may be because of their roots.

This person puts tradition and family above anything else. They give a lot of importance to rules and moral codes. They value dedication, authenticity and honesty.

They could be religious. Or at least they are spiritual. They make offerings and kindly give out anything they may own if that can be of help to others.

This person enjoys community work, sharing of knowledge and experience. They like to garden, cook and enjoy the simple pleasures of life.

They fear rejection but they'd rather d** than admit it.

They have strong boundaries and won't settle for less than what they deem worthy of their attention. They're not afraid to step up and stand their ground, even if it may draw attention or make them look arrogant.

[violetjedisylveon]

Shadowpeach Angst AU, where the Jade Emperor decides to punish Sun Wukong in 2 ways... One is sealing him under the mountain... And the other is taking away his best friend's free will (Macaque)...

Macaque is now a constantly smiling, mindless servant to the Emperor (similar to how White Pearl was to White Diamond)...

Wukong becomes a disciple for Tang Sanzang to both atone for his past sins + hoping that redeeming himself would convince the Emperor to bring Macaque back to him...

But after the west journey, the Emperor REFUSED to give Macaque back his mind, because the Emperor believes that keeping Macaque is the only way to prevent Wukong from attacking the Celestial Realm again...

Wukong is heartbroken and depressed, until he eventually meets MK...

When Azure Lion destroys the Emperor, it frees Macaque...

Wukong tearfully gives Macaque a big hug! :')

Anon my friend, thank you for the delicious angst (also sorry for the wait in response, I've been cooking)

Prepare yourself to get yapped at cause I have thoughts!

Macaque would have either been captured soon after Wukong was defeated trying to shadow him away before anything worse happened, or he would've been caught after the celestial realm burnt Flower Fruit Mountain to the ground.

Regardless, Macaque ends up in the hands of the Jade Emperor.

Everyone knows the six eared monkey is someone very important to Wukong, and Wukong's extreme reaction to him being caught is very telling.

He finally shows some humility and begs for his mate to be spared, Macaque was just following his lead, he never wanted to rebel, all the punishment should go to him.

Execution would be the typical punishment for treason, Macaque isn't as immortal as Wukong is, he could be killed, but that's too easy, especially with the knowledge that the pair are mates.

The Jade Emperor says he'll spare Macaque, but he will serve the celestial realm. Macaque refuses, there's only one ruler he'll serve.

It's not a choice Macaque gets to make.

The Jade Emperor places him under a spell that can only be broken by his power, turning the once feared warrior into the perfectly well behaved servant who follows his commands to the letter.

Wukong is forced to watch the process while he's helpless to do anything to stop it. The last thing he sees before being sealed under the five phases mountain is the haunting grin on his mate's face.

Some in the celestial host(Nezha, Erlang, others with morals) think the punishment is a little extreme, but they can't argue with the Jade Emperor.

So, Wukong has five hundred years of stewing in grief and guilt because his mate is effectively dead, the only way to get him back is for the Jade Emperor to give him back, and he will never do that.

It's worse than if he actually had died, because Macaque is still alive, but he's not himself anymore, he's a grinning shell of who he used to be, he might not even remember him. Fun times for the monkey man!

As for Macaque, he is very unaware of what's going on around him. He doesn't think, he does what he's told. He's the Jade Emperor's personal servant so he's got a lot to do anyway, there isn't time to think, he doesn't need to think, he has a purpose, and that is to serve, not waste time with things he's not meant for.

Sometimes he gets flashes of things he's certain couldn't have happened, he'd be able to hear them if they were. Fun times for the monkey man!

When Wukong is freed, he eagerly joins the pilgrimage in the hope that his reformation approved by Buddha will be enough to get his moon back, the pain crown is a precautionary measure because he gets very aggressive at the mention of Macaque and Tripitaka is a squishy mortal.

Wukong understands why, Tripitaka doesn't abuse it. Zhu Bajie is not able to get him to use it on Wukong during the boen spirit arc because he trusts Wukong’s desperation to save his mate.

But, as you said, once the journey is over and Wukong is a Buddha certified redeemed monkey, the Jade Emperor refuses to give him back, it's the best way to keep the monkey king in line.

As a "reward" for the redemption, the Jade Emperor does allow Wukong to see Macaque once.

Wukong is absolutely devastated to see what Macaque has been reduced to, the now strained smile on his face never fading, his bright vibrant ears are shadows of their former selves, his mate is a shadow of his former self.

And he doesn't even remember him. He knows of him, and he gets irritated at him because of the giant mess his little rebellion left that he had to clean up.

Wukong is crushed that he wasn't able to save Macaque from the situation he dragged him into, and once all the pilgrims are dead, he becomes extremely depressed for 1000+ years.

Now that her monkey is super depressed, Nuwa decides to fix it.

She, being a goddess and relative of the Jade Emperor, is able to get access to Macaque, and she so she gets some times with the six eared monkey and instructs him to make a little clay monkey. Mac doesn't question it and makes a little four eared monkey, why's it got four ears? He doesn't know, it just felt right.

Nuwa dismisses him and takes Macaque’s monkey to the mortal realm before granting the creation life, it's a monkey, hooray.

Then she drops the baby in front of Wukong and is like “hi son, I got you a baby to cure your depression hope this helps.” Then leaves.

Wukong knows he's not in the state for raising a baby and sends the cub to the mainland where he gets picked up by Pigsy and Tang. Wukong is ignoring the fact that the cub Nuwa gave him is clearly Macaque’s, his fragile state of mind can't handle that.(I must make MK Shadowpeach’s kid, I just have too)

Then the same kid comes busting down his door two decades later with his staff, and he's both happy to see him and ashamed he couldn't be a better parent for him.

His depression gets better with people in his life again.

The plot of seasons 1-3 happens, MK does bump into Macaque during the celestial heist to deal with Spider Queen, literally, he literally bumps into him then runs. Macaque was very confused then moved on.

As for Macaque being freed when the Jade Emperor dies.

No.

The spell on him just passes to the next Jade Emperor, Azure. Now Azure has to be the one to free him.

Here's the thing, the Camel Ridge trio think that Wukong threw his lot in with the celestial realm because they had heard about Macaque being the emperor's most valued servant, and those two follow each other everywhere and they came to the conclusion that Macaque convinced Wukong to abandon their cause and betray them.

So they really don't like Macaque, but he is the first to bow to Azure as the new Jade Emperor.

Azure is confused and thinks it's just Macaque being a schemer and trying to get in with him like he did with the old regime.

Yellow Tusk notices something is off and decides to ask the other servants about Macaque, and gets told that he was put under a spell by the Jade Emperor that only he could undo, and it seems to have passed to Azure with his ascension. Yellow Tusk brings the issue to Azure, since they're trying to be better than the previous regime, they can start by freeing the person who's been a prisoner in his own mind for the last 1700+ years.

Azure considers it, but he knows how deeply Wukong cares about his shadow, and this tactic has been successful in preventing Wukong from attacking the heavens, why not use it a little longer until the Monkey King is subdued?

Extra angst.

Macaque gets brought down to be used as a bargaining tool, and that understandably makes Wukong very upset and he and Azure fight. MK joins in because that's an asshole move.

Macaque does get freed when Nezha seals the Jade Emperor's powers, therefore making him the one in charge of them, and he frees Macaque immediately.

Mac is extremely confused when he's back, and he is immediately tackled with hugs and kisses by Wukong; he does not let go of him for a solid week afterwards. It's been a rough seventeen hundred years, he's allowed to be a little clingy.

Macaque is very much not okay after being freed, he suffered a lot of abuse that the spell on him would not allow his mind to acknowledge, so now he's being hit with all of shit that happened to him. Wukong wants to kill everyone who ever hurt or was mean to his mate. He can't but he really wants to(Erlang gets a crushing monkey hug because he was nice to Macaque.)

Thanks for this idea, it's been very fun to play with!

I hope you enjoy the angst anon!

Got a Masterpost now

[senseichaos]

Hey, same anon asking about yandere stuff. I'm so glad to hear!! Of course if you want to, may I please request yandere Vox with the reader? Like how they try to run from him? Perfectly fine with it being a female reader as I am one. And I don't mind how you write it. Do whatever you please! I love seeing others' interpretation of the characters 🖤 No rush!

YOU CAN'T RUN. HELL, YOU CAN'T HIDE EITHER.

thank you lovely anon! I love the concept of Yandere Vox! Hope this is good :) let me know your thoughts in another ask if you'd like! Lots of love!

Summary: Vox doesn't often fall in love often, no. Well that was until you came around- and you wanted a job with Valentino of all people? No. That would never fly with him. He'd make you work with him instead, like an intern or something? Hell, anything to make you stay near him. Anything to get him as close to you as possible.

Genres: Angst with a small amount of sexuality

NOT PROOF READ (yet)

Warnings/Tags: Yandere Vox, Insecurity, Reader is naive, manipulation, mind control, exploitation, creepy behavior, masking, contractual agreements, reader lacks hell experience, Vox is violent, Vox lacks empathy, angst, swearing, overall kinda depressing (LET ME KNOW IF MISSING ANY)

Pt 2

_______

You can't believe your eyes when you step into that tower, the pink glass adorning the outsides making your eyes shimmer. You have a job interview with Valentino today, after waiting for (probably too long) to get a job somewhere.

You see, hell worked slightly differently to earth. Where things in earth worked in a more of a 'work and make work' sort of way, Hell is more 'work, make work, and fight'

You'd managed for the past months to live in a small apartment that happened to be owned by someone who got killed in an extermination. It wasn't your plan to impersonate a sinner and squat in their home, but you have to get by somehow, right?

Well- it also wasn't your plan to be a porn star. But no where else seemed to want to take you. You're small, too weak to be taken by anyone else. People on the street told you that you were made for the screen, that your body was perfect. Some even tried to pay you copious amounts of cash just for you to suck them off. And you hate it.

At least the elevator of the building is cozy.

Vox on the other hand was having the best day of his life: or in his definition, a day where Valentino doesn't have a stupid breakdown that Vox doesn't have to solve.

He loves to watch his people as they indulge in his technology, he loves to watch everyone become obsessed with him and his media, he loves to be in control of all of these people. He'll watch every screen around him with focus, taking in their reactions as he bottle feeds them content.

Could he be with his boyfriend, Val? Yes. Does he want to? Hell no. He doesn't love Val. Plain and simple in his eyes. He has Valentino to get his business along. To make him more powerful. He'll do what he has to to be the most powerful he can be. Even if it means toying with people around him.

Val doesn't think he's capable of falling in love with anyone in this horrible underworld he inhabits. Everyone here is fucked. he is fucked. Plus, he doesn't know anyone here who he'd connect with anyway.

Or well that's what he did think until right now. There is a girl in the central elevator that looks awfully out of place, causing Vox to turn the entirety of his attention onto her. She looks like a regular old sinner, yes- but still she stands it like a sore thumb against the few people also in the central elevator. Where everyone's boring physique was her own enticing one stands. Where everyone else's two tone personalities stand her own colorful and bright one shimmer in his 2-D irises.

And then comes that odd feeling in his chest, this weird bubbling feeling of emotions that causes his eyes to tear up ever so slightly. This feeling, it's addicting. He wants to grind her up into a smoothie and drink her up, making the feeling sit there forever.

Something is wrong with him: he thinks.

With bated breath vox looked at the floor the elevator was approaching, figuring out where the girl is exactly going. There are only few reasons a sinner shows up at V tower anyway: to get a job with Valentino, or to turn yourself in if you'd wronged them. The elevator number reads '10'. She's going up to the business floor where Valentino currently is.

A sudden twist finds its way into his stomach, a horrible twist that makes his head burn with anger. Who does Val think he is? Having a girl such as her working for him. He. Couldn't let this happen, no no no no no no no. Why would he even want to exploit such a girl? She's supposed to be loves and cherished for everything she is.

The only reason she'd want to work with Val is because she has no other thing to do. He needs to offer her a job- or something to keep her from giving herself away to Valentino. Something to keep her as close to him as possible- like an intern or an assistant or anything.

Anything: Vox thinks.

Not often is Vox so reckless, not often at all. He likes to think he's decorum and well-adjusted. Likes to think he's a figure of this time. Of his time.

But right now, all he wants is this beautiful fucking girl to look at him in his eyes. Is it selfish? To want something so bad you feel like you could to horrible things to get it? Probably. But this is hell. And as an overlord of hell he can take what he wants. For once he doesn't care.

--- 666 ---

You take a step from the elevator, looking around the rather nauseating long and rounded hallway with squinted eyes. You can barely remember where you're supposed to be going anymore. You're supposed to meet Val inside one of these many, many studios. But soon enough as you start to venture through the halls on light, unsure steps you find yourself unable to read the words and numbers on each door.

Something is wrong, and you're unable to focus. There's this buzzing sound in your ears, a very faint but obvious buzzing that's causing your brain to go fuzzy. You can't feel your body anymore, it's just walking down the hallway in painful circles.

Suddenly that tether in your brain snaps with a loud crack, and your face to face with a television. You're still standing, in this long hallway, but now you're looking into the dark eyes of a TV screen. Wait- Eyes?

"Oh, Hello there sinner, are you looking for Valentino?" He asks, voice weirdly distant yet close all at the same time. His smile is large, almost devilish looking as he stares down at you.

You feel on edge, and your head still has a very faint buzzing lining itself.

"Oh, erm, Yeah.. I can't seem to recall what room-" You flinch as he hooks an arm around your neck walking you down the hallway once again with a smirk. There's a weird edge to him that you can't pin down, this whole interaction almost seems.. forced? Oh, there you go again, putting labels on things. Stop overthinking!

"Don't worry your pretty head about it! I'll take you to him," he says, unhooking his arm from your shoulder; only for him to rather sensually drag his hand across your shoulder blades until it's claws barely rest against your shoulder.

"But you know," Vox begins, swinging himself around so he stands in front of you, hands resting on either of your shoulders. You have to stop yourself from bumping into his chest. "You don't have to work for him." He says, his voice turning slightly more TV like and distant as he speaks.

"What do you mean..?" You ask, pushing his hand off of your shoulder with a painful twist of butterflies. A type of butterflies that you can't understand.

"Well, you seem like the type of gal to enjoy.." he looks you up and down, moving his hands from your shoulders as he grins. "Taking orders," you tilt your head at his words, confused. He shakes his head to himself, looking away for a moment with a slight frown before staring back, smiling brightly.

"No, I mean that you could be my assistant! You can.." He thinks for a moment, tapping the bottom of his screen as if it were his chin. He shrugs, smiling awkwardly with furrowed brows. "Bring me drinks and such! C'mon.."

He leans down to your level again, looking into your eyes. You suddenly feel that wave of disorientation go through you again, the only thing seeming to make sense to you being.. Vox.

"You don't want to be exploited by him, do you?" He says, and you feel his screen radiating heat on your skin. The buzzing becomes more loud as he goes on, all you seem to be able to hear being his words as they drip from his vile tongue. "C'mon dear, He'll break you."

"And you don't want to be broken, Right?"

He is right. You don't want to be broken by Valentino. You don't want to be exploited. But you don't have any other choice-

Until now, that is. You have an opportunity.

You should take it, right?

The headache and buzzing dissipate, taking a chunk of your psyche along with it. You feel your feet begin to give out beneath you from the exertion, lacking balance as you wobble softly. Not wanting to faceplant into the carpet, you reach out to something, anything to hold you. It just so happens to be Vox's chest, grasping onto the fabric of his coat as you begin to slip down to the floor.

"Hey, Hey, it's okay, What's got you out of sorts?" He asks, grasping you by your waist as he lifts you back to your feet. You blink, looking around for a moment with a nervous breath. Those butterflies, again. You hate them.

"I- uh.. I dunno.." You say stutter, pushing yourself away and scratching that back of your neck.

"You're feeling better?" Vox says, dipping his lids as he tilts his head rather attractively.

You nod, looking down at the ground with a nervousness inside of you.

"Good, good.." he turns away, looking at the ground and pacing for a short amount of time "good.." he says softly to himself, turning back around and clasping his hands together as he grins.

"Now how about you follow me and we can get you set up, yeah?" He says, pressing his hand against the space between your shoulder blades as he turns back to the elevator. You look up at him, and for a moment he seems to be in his own world. At least he is until you speak.

"So what's your name, Mister?" You ask, fiddling your fingers against each other nervously. He grins, lids upturning with the smile as well. He leans down again, poking a blue claw on your cheek as buzzing blurs your brain.

"It's Vox, my dear," He says, and your brain goes soft and mushy with an emotion you cannot describe. It feels as though he's making you melt.

"Keep that in your head for me, will you princess?" He asks softly, pulling his claw up the side of your face with a manic grin.

With a sudden movement he pulls away, shrugging his hands.

"Now darling, let's get back to it, shall we?"

Something is off, and part of you wants more of it.

--- 666 ---

Mister Vox's office is large in size, walls lined with screens displaying different things across the entirety of the pride ring. You wonder what Vox may do here all day, seeing the singular seat between it all that doesn't even seem that cozy.

You assume he watches, broadcasts, does meeting, and.. does what he's doing right now, perhaps?

"What do you do all day, Mister Vox?" You ask, looking wide-eyed at the television lined walls of the area. He flinches, grinning awkwardly before bringing back his confident demeanor.

"Me? Oh, you know.. this and that- I go to meetings.. I sign paperwork, I go to meetings.." He laughs to himself, shaking his hand dismissively as he sits in his seat, spreading his legs in a man spread. You turn away from the screens, looking over at Vox as he scans the monitors with narrowed eyes. You wonder if he was doing something important before he found you.

"Uh, Mister Vox, what do I do now..?" You ask, taking a small step towards him. He tilts his head towards you, smiling as he swings his chair to face you completely.

"oh, you? You can just sit there and look pretty.." Vox looks you up and down with narrowed eyes, face blank for a long moment before bringing a small smirk onto his face. He leans back in his chair, clicking his fingers as a bundle of clothing finds it's way into your hands.

"Perhaps prettier, change into that for me will you dearest?" He says, leaning his head on his fist as his voice becomes slightly more distant. You look at him, confused as you clutch the blue and red clothing to your chest.

"Okay.. Where do I change, Mister Vox?" You say, fiddling with the collar of your shirt as your body feels hot. Vox rolls his eyes playfully, pointing a clawed finger to the floor as he shifts his chair back to the screen. "Just change here my dear, no one will see you," He says, looking at you with a side glance. It's almost condescending, in a way.

"right here? But-"

"Here is fine, dear. Hell, here is more safe to change than anywhere else in this building," He laughs. You get this off feeling like you should trust him. I mean, he's one of the people owning this building anyway, right? He would be the one knowing a lot about it rather than anyone else. you should trust him.

"Okay Mister Vox."

You can't see his grin.

Every piece of clothing you peek off feels like this weird symbolism for losing yourself. Off comes your shirt: a piece is lost. Off comes your shorts: a piece of you is lost. And then more clothes come onto you, building something new. On comes a skirt: a piece of you is molded. On comes a blouse: a piece of you is molded.

And then there's this watch, a mobile one with 'Vox Tech' plastered across the side. With a shrug you put it on, struggling with getting it to tightness but ultimately managing to win the battle with the finicky strap.

"Good, good, how great you look!" He says, outstretching his hands with a grin.

You feel yourself blush, one half of you from his compliment and the other half from the fact he's looking completely in your direction. Does that mean he was watching you the whole time?

"Actually my dear, do you think you can grab me a coffee?" He asks, clicking his hands as a streak of blue energy shoots inside of the watch; this causes a mao to appear on the screen, showing where you are currently. "That map should tell you where to go, the assistant there should give you the coffee the way I like it,"

You shouldn't ask it, but you feel your bones ache too.

"How do you like it?"

He grins, tilting his head.

"Sweet with a strong flavour," He states, waving you off.

--- 666 ---

The first week as Vox's Assistant goes by smoothly, or as smoothly as it could working with an Overlord of hell. A rather odd seeming one at that.

Everything feels on edge with Vox, you feel like at any moment he could do something drastic. You've no idea what said drastic thing could be either, which makes it a whole lot more anxiety inducing. Hell, Vox is attractive. That's probably why you're on edge. That's what you keep telling yourself anyway. You're probably in love with him or something.

Vox had even given you housing as close to the building as possible, insisting he pay the rent. Not that you complain, no; less walking for you it seems. The Vox Tech watch he gave you tells you pretty much everything that you need to do. When you wake up in the morning it goes off, alerting you like an alarm, it has a to do list that blares when you're in the office, it maps out the whole space, it even acts as Vox's messaging system towards you.

You do wonder how he controls it, even in the comfort of your own home. Well, he is an overlord, right? He's capable of things even outside of your grasp. You cannot even fathom what he could do with that power.

And that's just the way Vox likes it.

Actually, you haven't seen Valentino around the building the whole week either. Even in a meeting you accompanied Vox to. You'd expect to see him more often with all the prowling in and out of the building you do.

It's as if he's vanished.

"Princess, grab me a coffee will you? Maybe even grab one for yourself while you're at it, on the house," Vox asks, swiveling on his chair to face your own, which sits just off to the side of his own with a small desk in front of it. You'd been doing some paperwork for him for the past hour, mostly reading through stuff, asking him questions, and singing them for him.

"Yeah, sure.. um, I was just wondering.." You utter softly, causing Vox to raise a brow as he leans back on his chair with a confident grin. He tilts his head in question, saying: "What's on your mind, (N/N)?"

"I haven't seen Valentino around the building, I was just wondering if something's up with him?" You ask, looking down at the ground as you begin to regret yourself even questioning. Vox laughs, flapping his hand in dismissal.

"Oh, just that? Don't worry about it! He's just.." Vox pauses for a moment, shrugging his shoulders. "Doing his own thing," He finishes, smiling rather oddly as he begins moving his chair back to face his computers. You intercept.

"His own thing..?"

Vox turns back to you, grinning widely with a manic look in his 2-D eyes. Once again, the buzzing fills your brain. And you fall to your knees against the ground with a painful 'thump'. Vox harshly grips your chin, pulling you closer to him until all you can see is that blaring red eye of his as he speaks.

"As i said,"

You feel yourself wanting to let go.

"Don't worry about it."

He lets you go of your trance, leaving you teary eyed as he smiles softly, brows furrowing in a sort of mocking empathetic way. His eyes drip with affection you find.

"Now, grab that coffee, okay?" He finishes, placing a cold kiss against your forehead before letting go of your chin, leaving yourself to gather your bearings.

It's not often you feel the want to defy someone. But as you stand from the floor, dusting off your skirt and walking to the elevator; you feel that need to be defiant. You'd figure out where Valentino is. He has to be somewhere in the building, right? You just have to find.. him..

In these hundreds and hundreds of doors. You would have to find him. And you can't take so long, otherwise Vox may suspect something.

You'd find someone to tell you where he is, you'd find him, and you'd stop worrying if Vox is going to do something drastic because he hasn't lied to you. Simple as that, simple as that. Right?

As it just so happens, as you begin walking through the studio halls you find yourself bumping into a spider individual, of whom you remember being a popular porn star.

So with an anxious breath you asked him. He explained that Valentino was in studio B-40, but he doesn't recommend finding him. And once again you go against someone's wishes. Plus, you were just going to stick your head in the door. It's nothing to worry about.

So what are you so anxious when you find yourself getting closer to the door? Why does your throat feel so tight? Why do you want to run in the other direction? Why does every step feel so heavy?

Taking another small step to the door, you wonder if you should listen to your conscious. It's supposed to do you good , right?

No, that's baby talk.

You aren't weak. You aren't letting the people in hell get you down! You are going to open the door!

You push yourhand towards the door handle and-

"Ouch! Fuck-" You yelp, an electric shock going through your body, causing you to fall backwards onto the hard floor below. Your whole body is on fire, you can't feel your tongue. You can't feel your brain.

A hum accompanies Vox's words.

"You're not going in there." He says, leaning over you as you push yourself to your knees, pressing yourself to the wall. Your head is throbbing.

"I'll beat him to a pulp if he sees you, you know?" Vox laughs, that sickening pseudo-empathetic look covering his flat features. You feel your stomach twist, this time in an awful way, it's like he's draining you of your soul. You want to disappear.

"I don't want to be aggressive," Vox begins as he grips your face harshly, causing tears to well into your eyes. "But your fucking mine, you got that?"

"And I won't let that sleazy prick get his greedy eyes anywhere near you!"

"W-what?" You whimper, pushing his hands from his face and backing away meekly. Vox laughs to himself, red dripping from his two dimensional mouth. He humors you with that gaze of his, eating alive any part of your confidence that may still linger.

"Oh, don't you get it, my dear? You sighed the paperwork," Vox leans down so his eyes can bore into your own, his gums showing in that prideful smile of his. "You belong to me now."

You choke on air, standing to your wobbly feet.

"W-what? I don't un-"

The paperwork. The paperwork you signed to get the job. You didn't read it! You idiot. You fucking idiot! You've ruined your own life. You belong to him..

To Vox.

"You- Shit-!" You turn around on your heels, almost slipping as you speed off into the hallway. You hear his voice echo in your ears.

"You can't run. Hell, you can't hide either!"

This was a mistake, this whole thing was a mistake. You want to die. You want to disappear. You want to get as far away from him as possible. You don't even take the elevator down, you run down every single flight of stairs jumping down a couple to save time.

The slip beneath your feet almost makes you topple over as you clutch onto the railing, swinging yourself onto the next flight of stairs. You have to be close to the bottom, right. Right? Yeah. This is fine.

And you were, right, surprisingly. You can almost see the entrance outside. You just have to make it out of this lobby. You just have to make it out of this huge fucking stupid ass lobby! You have to.

All of the sinner's eyes bore at you as you run at top speed to the door. You can't be here. You need to leave immediately. He can't find you If you're far away, right? Just go somewhere without a camera.. it'll be fine.. everything will be fine.

You're so close! Just a few more steps, a few more heavy, headache inducing steps.

You can make it. You just have to believe in yourself, and it'll all work out. Everything will be fine. It just has to be. Hell can't be this cruel, can it?

You're so close to the door you can smell the outside world, hear the cars as they pass, hear the charter hear the-

You choke and fall.onto the ground, a heaviness around your neck and wrists. It buzzes against your skin, making you go light headed. You can barely see it, but it's there. There are handcuffs around your wrists. And a collar around your neck. All of which glowing and buzzing with that electric blue of Vox.

He is right.

You can't run, you can't hide, you can't do anything.

He owns you, he has you. You can't do anything.

You made a mistake.

Maybe hell really is this cruel.

Keeping you forever tethered to this man.

Who knew one mistake would ruin the rest of your eternity.

Serves you right for being so naive.

"Alright now, are we done with our tantrum?" Vox asks.

"Yes mister Vox." You say.

[muffinrecord]

Magia Exedra negativity I guess?

Something I was thinking about is that getting a new character is kind of disappointing in this game compared to Magia Record.

Let's say I finally actually got Kaede. In MagiReco I could spend AP and start working on her episode levels, go to labs and spend AP to level her up, get her materials. I could farm old bosses to get mats. Every time you leveled up her episode level you also unlocked quotes. You can put her on the homescreen and see all her little animations, what different outfits she has (if she has any).

In Magia Exedra you can use her in a fight. If you have heartsand saved, you can level her heartphial but if you don't then... that's kinda it, isn't it? And even if you have sand, it's not like you can read all of her story right away. You can't even look at half of her quotes right away like you can in magireco. You just kind of get her and the only difference is if you can use her in a fight or not.

And if you're an idiot who has defeated all the nightmare fights in the game then... well what do you do? I guess you can redo them if you want?

There really isn't any endgame at the moment. You log in and complete your dailies and then... well, that's kind of it. You can argue that maybe Magia Record was like that too, but you still had stuff to do. Like, there were so many characters you could work on and farm materials for, you could work on episode level, you could work towards doppels. If all else failed then you could farm SP to get memoria lol. Rainbow orbs were a bottleneck sure, but you could farm labs for the rare chance at getting them (seeing a rainbow orb as a drop in a lab always got me so fucking happy haha, it was like an instant boost of serotonin, even when they became really easy to acquire).

Man and what I'm gonna say is controversial but the SKIP function is both a blessing and a curse. I kind of feel like I shouldn't even complain about it, because I know I'm in the minority here. Cause AUTO in magireco isn't exactly good gameplay either? But it's kind of depressing to just skip all the farming. IDK. Maybe I'm just old.

I log on to my account and want to do stuff and there's just not really a whole lot to do.

I used to play mirrors endlessly when I was bored by refreshing BP and using strange weird teams and just having fun, but that doesn't work for Magia Exedra because you have to spend fucking magica stones to do so. And it's auto. And you really can't get away with using silly fun teams because that'll drop your ranking and your pvp rank is tied to tangible rewards?

...

Yeah I just kind of miss having things to do.

The JP account is fun atm because I'm playing through it more slowly but I dread the day I hit endgame because like. then what.

And another thing-- I will say that Magireco had some issues with how easy it became towards the end. I remember when NA first launched and we were all strugglin' with the waiting horse boss' poison. But at the same time, I really appreciate that you could use almost any character you wanted. Like uhhh I dunno. Two-stars and three-stars who weren't uncapped yet. You could still use them. Not in the hardest Scene 0 fights, but like. You could use them. But here...? Who the fuck is gonna use 3* Kako? Why doesn't Kako have a 4* version? She doesn't even get a personal portrait.

And that's another thing. 2* and 3* weren't better than 4* (most of the time) but it didn't feel like a waste to put work into them, even as a whale, you know? Because they can get uncapped. But like. Who is gonna invest in 3* Kako? Why would I work on 3* Masara if 4* Masara exists? What if I put a lot of effort into 4* Masara and then she gets a 5* version years down the line?

I guess you could argue that it's the same for when variants come out, but like... at least variants might look different from one another, you know? But this is just Masara. And at least with variants I can make a fun mirrors team of 5 Mamis and not feel penalized for it.

I like Magia Exedra but I miss Magia Record. I would trade Magia Exedra for Magia Record in a heartbeat. Even with all the Oriko content that I have devoured.

Edit: oh and I liked the small amount of customization we got too. Even as small as something like picking what card art to use on a character. I liked Tsuruno's 3* card art best. I liked choosing if the battle screen would show their chibis on the attacks or their card art. ...yeah that's a really small thing. I dunno.

Oh and picking backgrounds... and music...

maybe the game will start to implement more changes, maybe it won't, idk.

[help-itrappedmyself]

Tim Drake Vacation 2

Masterpost

Keeping himself from running into danger is easier when the supers have everything under control. Now though… Tim, is resigning himself to the fact that civilian--him may have to do something soon. 

     He and the entire contents of the coffee shop he was in have been taken hostage by someone-who-is-totally-not-Lex-Luthor. They were taken to a warehouse to be held as bait as totally-not-Lex waited in a new robot suit for Superman to show up. And, sure, Tim can't see inside the robot or anything. The voice is disguised, the figure is completely concealed. But that’s totally Lex Luthor. He has experience in this, that he absolutely cannot tell anyone about.

     Lex, as a bad guy, really isn’t so bad during phases 1 and 2 of his evil plans. Lex tends to want Metropolis to like him, and he doesn't have anything against civilians, so he doesn’t go around shooting people, just making threats until everyone complies. However, once phase 3 starts, Lex does not care about the hostages. They have served their purpose, and if they die after the Super(s) arrive, it is the Super(s) fault for all the collateral damage. Honestly, the Super(s) should be better at saving the hostages if they truly are here to help people. So, when Superman breaks into the warehouse, which Tim can only assume is lined with lead so he can’t see inside, it is up to the civilians to not get hit by the rubble.

     As the fight started, Superman went straight for Lex. Kon came only a second later to start assisting the hostages. Tim was helping some people dodge the plethora of debris being caused by the main fight. He was helping a few injured people make it to the exits. He was helping where he could while trying not to be noticed by absolutely anyone. 

     Luthor, of course, brought out some kryptonite. And instead of using it against Superman, he wanted to make sure Kon couldn’t leave while Superman had him distracted. Luthor went after the only Super helping civilians, bringing out the kryptonite while Kon was flying past him. Kon went down hard and Luthor just put the kryptonite on his chest and left him there to get back to his fight with Superman. 

     Now Kon is pinned by kryptonite, and Lex is attempting to do the same to Superman. The other hostages managed to escape as soon as Lex became preoccupied with Superman again. And Tim has realized he is the only one left in the building who can get that kryptonite off of Kon. Superman can’t do it without being incapacitated himself, can’t use his powers to do it without risking hurting Kon. Lex simply will not, for reasons. And that just leaves Tim. 

     Tim, who makes eye contact with Kon as he is figuring out what to do. Kon has just realized that there is still a civilian in the building, and he gestures at Tim to go, trying not to draw too much attention. But Tim can’t. Tim can not risk Kon dying again. 

     Tim remembers each time he has lost someone. Tim remembers trying to clone Kon again just to get one of them back. That horrible realization that even if he manages to create a clone. It wouldn’t be Kon. Nothing could make the real Kon come back just like nothing could make anyone else come back. That switch between bargaining and depression. He remembered that depression. He doesn’t think he could live through it again. Especially given the state of his supposed ‘support system’. Not that they’d been much support last time. 

     Tim can’t leave, so he runs over instead, grabbing the kryptonite off of Kon's chest. He could throw it, but he is only human and even having it in the vicinity could be bad for Kon and Superman. He doesn’t know how the fight will move, or if Lex will be able to use it again. He has to take it with him. Personally make sure it gets far away from the fight. He gives Kon a quick smile as he starts running to the exit.

[bonesxbows]

Once Upon A Dream - Chapter 2 (Lucifer X Reader)

My Masterlist

In a sleeping beauty-inspired AU, a curse is placed over you when you strike up a deal with Heaven to protect baby Charlie, causing you to lose your memory. You remember nothing once the curse takes over; not your marriage with Lucifer, not the family you had with the two of them, nothing. So when a strange smiling demon offers you a place to stay when you can't remember where 'home' is, you take him up on his offer. 

(WARNINGS)

Gendered terms used (mom, good girl, wife) but otherwise gender neutral pronouns used

Heavy depressing themes

Loss of a parent (temporary)

(CHAPTER WARNINGS)

None

Chapter 1, Chapter 2 (You are here), Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8, Chapter 9, Chapter 10, Chapter 11, Chapter 12, Chapter 13

Comments and likes are much appreciated!

Banners by @strangergraphics

You sat in a lounge chair next to baby Charlie’s bassinet, your head resting against the edge of her cradle and your hand dangling down inside as you tickled her face and tummy, making her coo and giggle. She was a precious child, hardly ever fussy. Lucifer would do just fine with her by himself, you were certain. 

Sleep had been pulling at your eyes ever since you had got home, Heaven apparently impatient to enact their revenge. You had done your best to ignore it, but it was getting increasingly difficult with every passing hour. There was a soft knock at the door and you turned your gaze, watching as Lucifer poked his head in, his eyes immediately landing on you. A smile always found its way onto his face whenever he looked at you, showing off his sharp teeth and displaying his rosy blush, no matter how much time passed that he spent with you. The door jostled open as he walked in juggling a tray of assorted foods and a teapot, a stack of books, a bundle of Charlie’s favorite duckie toys, and a couple of fuzzy blankets in his arms. You couldn’t help but giggle at the scene, his small frame overcome with so many items in his grasp. 

“What’s all this for, darling?” You asked as he walked closer to you, gently kicking the door closed behind him. He set his gaggle of goodies down onto a nearby table, all except one of the blankets which he brought over with him and placed around your shoulders. 

“I planned for us a little date, so to speak, since we don’t- since you-” his thoughts were a mess, they had been since arriving home after the meeting, but you remained patient with him and waited for him to continue. He sighed and cleared his throat, trying again. “I wanted to spend some time together, all of us, before we don’t have a chance to anymore.” his smile from earlier had fallen, his lips now curved into a sad lopsided smile that threatened to turn into a frown at any second. He was holding back tears. 

You had to stay strong. You had to, or he was already done for. You flashed him the sweetest smile you knew, batting your eyelashes at him. “How could I say no to you?” That turned his mood right around, the room practically lighting up with an angelic glow as his spine straightened and his grin returned. 

He turned back around to his assortment of goodies and you stood up to follow him, locking your arms around his waist and placing your head onto his shoulder as he began to explain all of what he had brought. “Charlie’s favorite toys, of course, and your favorite books. Though I grabbed a few I thought you might like as well, in case you wanted something different. Our favorite snacks, and I wasn’t sure which type of tea you were in the mood for so I brought a few different kinds. I personally don’t mind so the choice is yours.” 

You listened to him ramble, the excitement in his words sending an ache straight to your heart. You were going to miss moments like this the most. 

You had lost track of time spending the day with Lucifer, the sun setting beyond the windows of the palace and the red sky turning a dusky maroon. He was reading you a paragraph from a book about arguments on the morals of sin, something he had picked up from one of the many human world oddity shops around town for you. Before you had come into his life he had loathed conversations of the sort, he had hated talking about his past or how Hell had been created and the dilemmas that had caused on Earth, but now he didn’t seem to mind your fascination with the topic. Watching your eyes glimmer as the two of you worked your way into deep philosophical discussions late into the night was one of the many things that made his heart ring with joy and fulfillment. But now you were barely paying attention, your eyes beginning to water as you held back the fifth yawn within a minute. 

“Sweetheart? Are you okay?” he asked, worry eating at the edges of his brow. Your silence was starting to concern him. 

“Yeah! Yeah, I’m fine, honey. Please, continue.” you smiled and gestured to the book, hoping he wouldn’t see through the plastered fake lies you were setting up. 

He hesitated, but continued, and this time you tried to focus on your surroundings instead of the sleep trying to pull your body in. The way Lucifer would read a couple of sentences and then interject with his own thoughts, Charlie’s tiny snores coming from the other side of the room, the screams coming from the streets below as the citizens of Hell were no doubt getting into another street fight. You breathed. You could do this. At least a few more hours. 

But then you heard it. Ringing. Sharp, clear, distinct ringing. Your eyes widened. No. It was too soon. Far too soon! But it didn’t stop. 

“Fuck…” you wheezed, standing up, clutching the blanket Lucifer had put around you closer to your body. “I…I have to go, Luci.” 

“Go? Go where? What’s wrong?” but by the time he stood up you had already fled out the door, racing down the hallway. “Wait! Love, come back!” he called after you, but you didn’t stop, the ringing becoming unbearably loud in your ears. You feared they were bleeding with how loud the piercing noise was, your hands coming up to cover them, but it did little to stop the noise coming from inside your head. You collapsed onto the tiled floor, screaming, begging for the pain to stop. Lucifer was able to catch up to you then, pulling you into his arms and trying to ask you what was happening, but you couldn’t hear him. You were practically deaf with the angelic sound reverberating throughout your skull. He called out your name, pleading with you to talk to him, but it was useless. You were a babbling, sobbing, screaming mess in his arms. Until you finally went silent for good. 

Your body went limp, your muscles turning into dead weight in his grasp as you went quiet, your eyes fluttering closed as deafening silence fell over the palace. He began to shake you, dumbfounded that you had just stopped so suddenly. But you were gone. The curse had come for you and you were gone. He hugged you tightly to his chest, cradling your body against his as tears began to silently fall from his turned-red-and-yellow eyes. But the silence didn’t last forever and soon he was sobbing uncontrollably, holding on to you as if he let go they might take your body away from him too. 

Days had gone by and despite every ember of hope Lucifer had you still showed no signs of life besides the slow rise and fall of your chest, the only indication Heaven hadn’t just outright killed you that day. He had resorted to keeping your body in your shared bed and sleeping in a guest room for the time being, too grief-stricken to stay in a room the two of you once shared. He kept his mind busy with his ducks and with Charlie, though it seemed with every passing day your spirit didn’t roam the halls of his palace his mood sunk lower and lower. Of course he checked on you every night, sitting by the edge of the bed and talking to you, retelling you the events of the day as he held your hand. He hated how cold your fingers felt in his, vowing to add more blankets to your space next time he visited. Soft fluffy ones, just like your favorites had been before all of this had happened. 

Charlie began to grow older, toddling around the palace, bringing back some of that lost light that had been stolen the day you fell. Lucifer was grateful, his heart swooning at the way her tiny feet pitter-pattered around the halls, chasing after the cyclopsed black cat you had insisted on bringing home one day oh so long ago. 

But she wasn’t a replacement for you, no matter how high-pitched her giggling got or how many stick-figure family doodles she drew for him. He just couldn’t snap out of it. His daughter needed him, but yet there was a suffocating smog smothering his heart that wouldn’t go away no matter how hard he tried to will it away with fake smiles. The guilt was eating him alive. 

She caught him one day when he was exiting your room, despite the fact that he was sure she was fast asleep when he had tucked her into bed minutes before. The door clicked softly closed behind him as an awkward silence fell over them, her big yellow eyes staring up at him. 

“Daddy? Where’s Mommy? Are they in there?” Her tiny fingers grabbed at her nightgown anxiously as she swayed on the balls of her feet. 

Lucifer sighed, the weight on his shoulders increasing tenfold. He hadn't told Charlie what had happened to you, he wasn’t sure what he was waiting for. Maybe he thought she wasn’t ready to understand, or maybe it was just too painful for him to talk about. “They…um…” he was stuttering, not even sure where to begin. This wasn’t how he had planned this conversation. 

“Can I see them?” 

“No!” He shouted, his grip on the door handle tightening unconsciously. He immediately flinched when he realized what he had done, Charlie backing up from him and tears welling in her widening eyes after he had raised his voice. He never yelled at her, ever, not even when she got in trouble, so why was he doing it now? He mentally kicked himself for scaring her, he’d make it up to her later, but for now… ”Mommy’s…sleeping right now. They don’t feel well so they need to rest. Do you understand, princess?” he knelt down to her height as he talked to her, keeping his voice soft enough to not scare her again but also not enough to baby her. She was smart, too smart for her own good. If he treated her like a child and tried to lie to her she’d see right through him within a week. 

“But…but I want to see them.” she wasn’t crying, not yet, but the tears in her eyes threatened to spill at any minute. He hated seeing her cry, it hurt his heart almost as much as seeing you on the floor that fateful day, but yet he just couldn’t bring himself to tell her the truth. His mouth couldn’t form the words. 

“You will one day, sweet pea, I promise. Just…not today.” his voice cracked on his last words, his guilt gnawing more and more on his fragile heart as he built a promise he didn’t know if he could keep. She rushed forward, plowing into his chest with her little head, knocking the wind out of him. She began clutching at his clothes, trying to find purchase as she tried to hold back sobs, her body shaking from the effort. He wrapped his arms around her, cocooning her in the safety of his embrace as he just held her, letting her feel her emotions as he ran a clawed hand through her soft blonde locks soothingly. 

Days turned into weeks and weeks began to turn into years. Still, you showed no sign of change. Lucifer began to give up hope that this curse ever had an end. Why would it? Heaven wanted to punish him, and they were doing a damn good job of it so far. 

Lucifer hid away every chance he got, stealing away in his workshop or sitting by your side for hours on end, only tending to Charlie when absolutely necessary. He created a barrier between himself and her, not wanting his overwhelming sadness to ruin her childhood. It was better for her this way, he told himself. It was for her own good, no matter how much it hurt. 

But as time went by it seemed he had walked into your room one day when she was still a little girl, playing dress up and begging him to have tea parties with her, but by the time he had walked out again she was fully grown, taller than him by at least a foot and telling him she was leaving to be on her own. 

“You’re…you’re what?!” the news was still reeling in his head. 

“I’m leaving, Dad. I can’t stay cooped up here anymore. Tell mom goodbye for me, please.” she hugged him one last time, quickly, and that was that. She had walked out the door, a luggage bag in hand, not even giving him time to reply. The rift between them had yawned open to a gaping chasm, and now his little girl was gone. 

He was alone. In a Hell of his own making.

To be continued in Chapter 3...

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE PURPOSE? WHAT ARE YOU MEANT TO DO? WHAT ARE YOU HERE FOR?

From Left (Pile 1, 3) Right (Pile 2, 4) Middle (Pile 5)

PILE 1 - 'HEALERS OF THE NILE, PROTECTORS OF THE EVE'

Psychic Tarot - Heartache & Loss + Sacrifice + Self-Master

Heart Oracle - Balance + Joy & Stability + Choose Your Battles + Sadness & Isolation

A lot of this pain you have transmutes itself into laughter, joy, and appreciation for life itself. A lot of people adore you and enjoy being around you because you heal them with just being who you are. You guys may of had a childhood that separated you from others. You could of been bullied, or felt like an outcast in some way. Some of you could have also dealt with depression or some sort of heartbreak that made you who you are today. You are a beacon of joy to others and without you a lot of people wouldn't have been able to see the light. When you feel like you're hiding there is always something that forces you back into the spotlight. You are like the sun and you've been brought here to show people what its like to live in your power, your truth and exploring the gifts God gave you. A lot of people who are depressed themselves, carrying pain and trauma will see your light and we'll see that there truly is hope in this world. You remind people that giving up is not an option, and you yourself get up everyday trying to make the world a better place to exist. So if no one ever told you thanks for all you've done, all you've been for them. I'll say it for you. You're efforts have not been unnoticed, and in due time you will see that the healing work you've put in will be another persons story that gets them out of bed. I'm not joking.

You're made for so much more, and you know it. Allow your vibe, your presence to be the journey. You don't have to do anything more. Just being yourself in this world is enough.

God bless you.

PILE 2 - 'GIVERS OF SUCCESS. MORPHING INTO YOUR TRUE REALITY.'

Psychic Oracle - Truth (Sideways) + Firm Foundation.

Heart Oracle - Seek the Truth + Win or Lose + Master + Victory & Success + Daydreams & Decisions (Sideways).

You guys are a big deal in the astral realms. You guys have an infinite connection to the spirit realm but through out life you guys weren't sure how to build that relationship with the divine. Some of you are a bit stubborn, hard headed, and even a bit arrogant. But it takes time to surrender to the divine. It takes patience, practice and diligence to agree with your life's purpose. With that being said, a lot your gifts are calling you to be an influencer in some way. Yes, I said it. You're called into the spotlight, but in a way that benefits the community and society as a whole. You guys are starlight with this alien consciousness that deserves to be noticed by the masses. People can't get their grip on you, and that's okay. Your purpose is equipped for bigger things, big magic I call it. Your called to be at the top love, do what you will with that. You came here already knowing what's within, I apologize if anyone or anything convinced you otherwise. You'll have that on your road to success. They'll never get why it was them who had to wait for the success they looked for, craved even. But you, never showed despair or an angst for not getting what you wanted. It was simply just not your time. Divine purpose is in letting the brain connect to the physical realm and find things to create during that time. You have big dreams kid, so let your voice, your mind, and your presence be the movement. Everyone will open their hands in order to help you guide the way to the Kingdom of Heaven. Influential Order. Dynamics Changing. Opening Doors To New Paths. There Is One Way, And It's Yours.

Take this time to learn yourself, you have more gifts and abilities than you know.

God Bless.

PILE 3 - THE SIREN. THE EMPRESS. THE KING. THE WITCH. THE POWERFUL MATRIX ASCENDER.

PsychIc Oracle - Accelerated Motion + Movement, Choices, Decisions + Passion Ignited

Heart Oracle - Dreams Coming True + New Vitality + Crown Chakra

There's power in your name. Your voice holds energy that can't be mistaken as weak. You have abundance written all over you, yet you still don't see your purpose. What makes you love your life and what is meant for you. A beautiful life. A world meant to be enjoyed and embarked on with full autonomy and free of the judgement of others. There are times where you wonder what roads to take, but there are none. It's just you, living, breathing, succeeding and just being in love. You have 'no purpose' to fulfill. Your purpose is to just be in enjoyment of the world and to view the stars as a magical infinity where all your dreams can come true. You have to learn that not everything is about you in this lifetime, that your world isn't like others. So don't make it out to be. You're blessed in areas that others work hard to get. Please remember that you're a goddess, a god, a king or queen or whatever you choose to label yourself as. You don't have to work hard in this life, let me remind you, you came here to succeed NATURALLY.. That is a gift. You're honored in past lives and this one you're honored in this one. You just have to make way for yourself to receive. Be open to the divine and what its promised you. Just take time being seen for all that you are, and watch how things come for you with ease and grace. No distress. Just practice gratitude in this life, thats literally you're calling. Special Presence. Love & Life. Appreciation Of The Stars. The Most High Watches Over You. Joy In Your Flesh. Being Present For The Moment. Enjoying Wonders Beneath The Soil. A Garden Awaiting To Bloom.

God Bless.

PILE 4 - LOVE & BALANCE. SPIRITUAL HEALING. MORPHING INTO ONE.

Heart Oracle - Spiritual Union + Balance + Master

Bonus Reading: New Vitality

A love from the Gods. Creators of the Promise Land. The adams and the eve. The Apple & The Tree. The Great Awakening. A spiritual love that surpasses time. A love worth dreaming and waiting for. Your higher-selves needed this. So you could show the world what is true. There is a billion stars in the horizon, but yet you two showed the world that the universe lives in you.Theres so many realities one could take, yet this is the one for you. You've been called, chosen for this. Your calling is connected to your romantic lover. Its graced with protection, love, grace, connection, authenticity and a reality that no one knew was possible.

The energy is felt across thousands, and this love is worth a million times more than that. You'll be protected in spaces that are deserving to see you and come in contact with you guys grace. Always remember to keep quiet about your union as some people's evil eye can try to infect itself into you guys love. Not all has to be private, but again, not many souls can view this perfect union. You are God's Angels on Earth.

You are connected to a higher love, a union that meets pass social standards and beliefs. God Bless.

PILE 5 - PERFORMING FOR THE UNIVERSE. STARS. CALLING AWAITS YOU ON THE LARGEST STAGE OF GOD.

Psychic Oracle - Firm Foundation + Memories Of Love + Stand Your Ground

Heart Oracle - Shine + Hope + Heal

A God Or Goddess that's been called to be on stage in some sort. Artistic abilities are strongest when you show them to people. You might be a leo or have leo placements. You might have 5th house placements. You might have neither. Either way, you have a destiny that makes you shine like one, thats for sure. You have been given the grace to keep these efforts flowing. Sure the humble beginnings made you feel like this was going no where, and there could of been weight you were holding that kept you beneath waters. You have to give yourself time to see yourself in that light again, thats ok. Feelings of being ungrounded might of been common in the past, but now you are more aware of your talents than ever before. And that counts for something. You've been given the green light to be a star since birth. You didn't know at the time, but at some point it became apparent. Give yourself time to grow in your talents and gifts. The stage is awaiting your gracious gifts. We really get a kick out of it. Also the number 17 in tarot is significant. 17 came up twice for you and its a simple of hope and making a wish come true. You can have the world if you asked, don't forget it. Always be you in a world that tells you otherwise. If you ever felt scared of your own gifts, now is the time to cast out that vibration. You're meant to be seen in all your glory. Remember it.

Unique talents will be what gives you the greatest joy & its what keeps you feeling alive.

Ase! God Bless.

[ifistayitwillbedouble]

HIII i saw your post so these are my doubts

1. why didn’t they make it more explicit that mike is gay

2. why did mike accidentally say he loved el in the cabin

3. why did they wait till the end of the show for byler

(i’m a raging byler btw, these just trip me up)

HI thanks so much for sending this in! seriously it's so much fun to respond to ppl :))

i love the points you sent over bc they're all things i've thought abt before, especially 2. that one used to trip me up a bit so i'm gonna save that one for last:

1. and 3. okay, i wanted to put these two together just because i think they have some overlap. if they made mike more explicitly gay before s5, with will being confirmed gay and in love with him, it would make byler so obvious. that then leads into the question, "well, why wait till the end for byler then? why not make it obvious?" i personally have a few reasons for this:

-with it being the last season, there's no risk of the show being cancelled. unfortunately, netflix doesn't have the best track record for keeping queer shows around (*cough cough* i am not okay with this). i'm not sure how big of an issue this would be for stranger things given that it practically made the company what it is today, but it's one of those factors that limits a lot of queer stories in the mainstream, so it's something to consider.

-they'd also have less to worry about if there's homophobic backlash or lost viewers. since having a queer storyline, especially among main characters, is bound to be controversial, stranger things could've lost support and view counts going into s5 if they had made byler canon. this would be a sucky reason for them to hold off on byler if it was the only reason, but it can also be understandable. if netflix got pissy about losing money, they might have been more prone to meddling in the last season. it would also definitely hurt the creatives behind the show to have people stop caring about the art they've put years into. i've seen posts of people saying they'll "boycott" ST if byler went canon and by waiting till the final season, they essentailly render that threat useless. you watch the final season to boycott what? rewatching? it could be a smart decision on their part for that reason and i think it is also worth it to note that by waiting till s5 for byler, they're making it much more likely that these homophobic viewers will watch a queer storyline until the end, which can only be a net positive instead of risking them abandoning it halfway. it might change their minds, who knows

-my favorite reason: the themes/character arcs weren't ready for it. truth-telling is a big part of stranger things with "friends don't lie" and all that. s4 is the season that doesn't go well for the characters or for this theme. all of the characters end up lying/hiding something. el lies to mike for months about her life in cali, mike acts different than who he is in cali and tries to lie to el about saying ily to her face ("i say it" "you can't even write it, mike"), will lies to mike about the painting. this isn't even just unique to the cali plot as all of the vecna victims in hawkins are hiding something. chrissy, max, patrick, fred-they all hid what they were going through and that ultimately made them victims ("conformity is what's killing the kids"). i mean, this makes sense given that vecna's curse is an allegory for depression and suicidal ideation, so not speaking their truths makes the depression/vecna's curse worse and is therefore not a good thing for our characters to do.

okay paragraph break. s4's ending is explicitly a loss for our characters (mike saying to will that, "[el's] never lost before" in the cabin). hawkins is in ruins. max is in a coma. things are not great. s4 is the setup of the low point in the story so that s5 can come in and resolve it to conclude the show. i don't think it's a coincidence that s4 is lie-ridden and is also the season where everything goes wrong i wonder if mike's confession giving el the power of love failing has anything to do with this theme of lying bringing about bad consequences hmm. what it sets up is a thematically consistent s5 where our characters develop by learning to tell the truth and eventually save the day because of it. now, what does this have to do with byler? well you can probably see where this is going...

...byler happening would involve some deep truths from both mike and will. it's way easier to lie to yourself and those around you about being straight in the 80s than it is to come out as gay. especially if they are going for an internalized homophobia arc with mike as many bylers like myself believe, lying and pretending to be straight would perfectly fit the bill of a lie that mike has to grow out of in s5. so it's because byler is the truth that we have to wait until s5 to see it be canon. having it happen any earlier would have resulted in a tonal mismatch and some thematic weirdness and just overall worse writing. now, i also think byler is specifically something that absolutely had to wait until s5 because it's going to be important in the upcoming plot. the painting has to come back up again a la chekhov's gun and it being the first time will has ever lied to mike (also them taking way longer to film the van scene in comparison to other scenes and it being so exhausting for the actors, that i think just shows how important this plot point will be). we also know from interviews that the duffers plan to have will's emotional arc be the thing that ties together the end of the whole show. that excites me so much because they focused on will's feelings for mike and his queerness all of s4, so that emotional arc 100% will have to deal with that. we also know mike is going to get a big focus next season along with his emotional arc. with these characters being on a show that loves honesty and has a villain that literally preys on the things that people are too afraid to talk about, there has to be a reveal of some truth for these characters and it has to affect how they will eventually defeat vecna and save the day. milkvan wouldn't be a reveal of any truths, it'd be a continuation of the status quo, and so i just don't see how that reveal could be anything but byler after watching s4 (i mean, they literally set up a cyrano trope with will's painting and one of the core plot beats of that trope is that the truth about who truly loves the love interest has to be revealed. s4's cali plot was also so focused on the willelmike love triangle that it would be bizarre for that not to be a setup for s5).

i also think they made the hints towards mike being gay more evident in his actions (kissing el with eyes open, not being able to balance el and will in his life, not hugging will, etc) as opposed to hinting at it through external means like with will (him getting called homophobic slurs, characters pointing out he's not interested in girls, etc at least until s4). i honestly think these hints towards mike being gay end up being more subtle, especially for the ga, because we're not used to queer characters existing in shows that aren't centered around being queer (think heartstopper or anything marketed as a queer story). when queer characters are almost never depicted within a genre as anything other than minor side characters, villains, or just stereotypes, the audience has been taught to only recognize those characters in those roles. so while i do think some of mike's queercoding is closer to being explicit than people give it credit for (why so many byler shippers talk about all the stuff he does being gay as opposed to will, earlier byler fanfictions being focused on mike being gay and potentially being rejected by a straight will), i think it tends to go over most people's heads especially if they're not queer themselves.

you can skip this next part btw, a side note/rant on the history of queer characters in film: if you want to learn more about how the depictions of queer characters in media has evolved over time and why they even started being depicted that way in the first place i'd highly recommend looking up the hays code. the hays code was a set of censorship rules hollywood applied to itself to try and avoid being policed by the us government. in those rules, there were things like gay characters not being allowed to be depicted unless they were villains or "punished" for being gay by the end (which usually resulted in death). that's where the "bury your gays" trope and the "ever-suffering queer" trope and the "gay villain" trope have their roots because that was the only way queer characters were allowed to exist. a lot of queercoding was also developed during this time to try and get around the censors. and even though this code was lifted during the late 60s, it still has profound effects on how we tell stories through film. the filmmakers that grew up under the hays code saw and used those films as inspiration when they grew up to make their own work, incorporating the elements of the hays code into their films without even realizing. and then the next generation of flimmakers did the same thing with those works and so on and so forth. that's how the tropes that i was talking about earlier have survived so long. that's why the disney villains like scar or ursula or jafar are queercoded in similar ways to the villains of the 50s or 60s. that's why it was so remarkable to get movies like "but i'm a cheerleader" closer to the 2000s because they actually gave queer people a happy ending, despite the code mandating tragic endings being gone for decades. that stuff sticks around. cinema was also relatively new at the time so the film conventions brought about during the hays code times really shaped the way people understood film language since there wasn't much else to compare it to. and i just want to make it clear that i'm bringing this up because the code didn't just shape how filmmakers made their movies and characters, but also how the audience understands them. it shaped people's expectations and how they learned to recognize certain character types and tropes. unfortunately, there isn't much of a precedent for complex queer characters and stories, so a lot of people don't have experience recognizing that or even looking for it in mainstream media. that's a big part of what i think is happening with mike. they don't expect him to be complex so they overlook his queercoding and let the most surface-level information inform all that they see in his character, which is him dating el. a complex queer story about someone experiencing internalized homophobia or comphet just isn't something they know how to see so it has to be told to them that that is exactly what's happening. if you've ever wondered why queer people have always identified so often with villains in media or why some people don't seem to think "real queer stories" can be anything besides tragic, this little history crash course is your answer. ALSO BONUS, just bc it's fun imo: the "foot pop" trope also came from the hays code. if you've ever seen a couple kiss on screen and one of them lifted ("popped") their foot up into the air, that's a relic of the hays code. it originally started as a way for directors to make fun of the rule that was meant prevent sex in film by saying that a couple that was embracing needed to have at least one foot on the ground at all times (so they can't be in bed with both feet off the ground to have sex). it was just weirdly worded like a lot of the code was, so some older filmmakers had fun with it. it's also another example of how long the things developed from the code have stuck around to be things people still recognize today! idk, i think it's kinda cool

finally on to 2. this one used to get me because it seemed like such a clear-cut romance trope. like oh, "character blurts out a love confession in the heat of the moment because they're not thinking clearly enough to hold themselves back," i feel like i've seen that a million times before. but i think what's interesting here is the scene where it gets brought up again.

it happens in the final scene between el and mike in s3. el asks him about what he said and mike starts being avoidant and saying things like "it was all heat of the moment stuff" and "i don't really remember, what did i say exactly?" like he's trying to downplay it. it reminds me of the scene where steve is trying to talk to nancy about something she said and she's dismissive with him too, saying, "i was drunk, steve" and "i don't remember any of that". later on in the scene, steve asks her to tell him she loves him and she can't, which sounds quite familiar.

but back to mike and el. when mike isn't able to say it, el comes up to him and tell him that she loves him and kisses him. keep in mind that mike has been trying to get el back all season after she "dumped his ass". but you know what mike does in this scene? does he kiss her back? no. does he tell her he loves her too? no. he keeps his eyes open the entire kiss (which if that doesn't ring alarm bells for their relationship, i don't know what would) and then just looks confused as she walks away. what straight man in love with his girlfriend would keep his eyes open as she kisses him after telling him "i love you" for the first time? what straight man wouldn't even have a hint of a smile or any positive facial expressions after that? WHAT STRAIGHT MAN-

anyways, that whole scene makes no sense if mike's feelings for el are completely romantic. if mike's truth is that he loves el, then he wouldn't have looked so confused after the kiss. he could've just kissed her back. but he just didn't. what this suggests to me is that mike's confused about his feelings for el when if he was a straight man, he would have no reason to be. and this confusion carries on to s4 with him still being unable to tell her that he loves her back. so that's why that cabin scene doesn't read like milkvan proof to me, just something that has yet to be explained explicitly about mike's character. and despite the cabin scene seemingly being a cliche romance trope, i think it ended up being a subversion of it because of how they continued to develop milkvan's relationship problems afterwards. it wasn't a heat of the moment honest love confession because mike is still struggling with the idea of loving el romantically after.

my own personal interpretation of what was going on in mike's head in the scene where he blurts out that he loves her is that he meant it. he was scared of losing her again after s1 which clearly traumatized him. and he meant it when he said he loved el, but it was a platonic love. however, all of the people around him when he said that of course thought he meant it in a romantic way given that they were a boy and a girl (80s heteronormativity) and that they had been dating. i think it makes it clear to mike that people expect him to have these romantic feelings for el which puts pressure on him to live up to that. it could've also confused him further by making it harder to differentiate between platonic love and the romantic love he was "supposed" to feel for el. i think this confusion and pressure mike is going through in his relationship to el comes through in that final scene i was talking about. like i said, he looks confused as el walks away after the kiss. i think it's also interesting that in the original script for that scene, mike thinks to himself something along the lines of "what is wrong with me?" (i dont remember the line exactly off the top of my head) which encapsulates that confusion and a clear desire to feel what he's "supposed" to feel for el perfectly. but he just doesn't feel that way and he's starting to realize it. we'll see if my interpretation still makes sense after s5.

------------------

that is the end of the post, whew. hopefully you enjoyed that and hopefully it helped address some of your byler doubt (ngl it is a bit long so i totally understand if you just skimmed it). this was a lot of fun to write and think about, so if it ended up not being convincing or if you or anyone has any questions/comments/concerns don't be afraid to let me know. i'd love to answer some more so i won't mind at all.

[axcel-lucci]

I've been coughing and feeling sick, I don't feel like getting up. This one is a request where female reader gets sick, has a flu, and its set in modern au. How would Law react when he hears that female reader has a flu for about two weeks, while being taken care of by Luffy, Ace, and Sabo? See female reader didn't want to disturb Law from work, so the ASL trio took care of her. Sabo is more responsible than his brothers. Plus Luffy would bring Marco to check on reader.😊🤧😷🤒

Tell me next time, dumbass.

Trafalgar Law x reader (fluff)

A/N: hi! Sorry I took a bit long because I was kinda down myself (can't get out of bed for reasons unknown) and can barely open my phone. So I hope this is alright! (Also unedited)

My masterlist

Coming up with a fever wasn't really (y/n)'s perfect idea of winter. What she imagined was snowball fights, snowman making, snow angels. Maybe that's the reason she's sick.

She could've told her boyfriend, Trafalgar Law, that is also a doctor, about it so he could take care of her, but she didn't.

She would always listen to him rant about how hectic it is to work in hospital owned by "grandline" whatever whatever it's name was. And she didn't want to bother him by a simple fever.

But that's alright, she has his best friends to help.

The "strawhats" (what Luffy likes to call his gang of friends) would visit from time to time. Especially chopper. Robin's support dog, specialising in anxiety and depression.

Even though the golden retriever is working, he couldn't help but stay beside (y/n) whenever Robin is around to visit.

Nami would usually just lay beside her staring at the ceiling. Mostly because she herself was bored.

While the others would drop by but not as often because they're quite busy.

Luffy on the other hand, would visit with his brother's almost every day.

Ace and Sabo apparently has doctor friends as well. One is named Marco and the other is named... Hongo? Was it?

"In theory, Marco said some warm soup or porridge would help you." Ace said

"In YOUR theory or in this... Marco person's theory?" (Y/n) asked. She knew it would help but hearing Ace say such a thing concerns her

"Wat?"

"What...?"

The two just stared at each other with confusion before sighing.

"You're making me hurt my brain, Ace. Get out of here" she groaned with a frown making him laugh.

"When are you planning to tell your boyfriend that you're sick? I'm sure he's worried because you're not calling him all the time like you used to." Sabi hums softly as he hands (y/n) a bowl of warm porridge as she starts to eat

"You know I don't want to worry him..." She muttered as she ate

"Eh? What do you mean?" Luffy tilts his head, "he asks about you all the time whenever he sees me."

"Wait, really?"

"Yeah! When I said Marco was also helping, he kinda got up and left. I don't know why though..." Luffy muttered to himself with a pout.

"Luffy..." The three sighed with a bit of disappointment in their face

"What? What?"

"Let me take that..." Sabo said as he took the empty bowl from (y/n), "how do you feel...?"

"I'm feeling fine... I suppose..." She muttered slightly.

"Alright..." Ace sighed, "look. You should tell him, even if you're bothering him... I'm sure if I was your boyfr- I mean him, I'd also want to know my girlfriend's state."

She laughed a bit, "I know... I'll tell him eventually..."

"We need to go... I have night shift at work today and some agendas for the next... 2 weeks..." Sabo frowned slightly

"And Garp's coming over... As well as the family reunion in London..." Ace huffed, "will you be alright alone?"

"I'll be fine, don't you worry"

Oh the last words of someone burning up, phasing in and out of consciousness.

(Y/n) reached out to grab her phone, trembling hands scroll through her contacts list, her eyes blurry but eventually clicking one profile and calling it.

Putting it on speaker, and placing it beside her head.

Once she heard the familiar sound of someone on the other end picking up, she coughed slightly.

"Can you... Come over...? I don't feel so good..." She managed to mutter before passing out entirely. All she heard last was a panicked voice of her name being called and soon hanging up.

...

Law's pov

I was sitting at the on-call room, basically glaring at my phone screen, waiting for (y/n) to message me.

"If you stared any harder, that phone would crack" Marco chuckled beside me.

I just groaned a little, "tsk. You wouldn't know the worry I have for my girlfriend because you never had one." I snapped at him with a glare

"Ouch" he rolled his eyes.

My eyes snapped back at my phone once I heard it ring and seeing who was calling, my whole body seemed to relax to realize it was (y/n). After almost three days of silence from her, she finally called.

"Hello?" I answered.

I heard her cough, which wasn't a good sign already, her heavy breathing as well. "Can you... Come over...? I don't feel so good..." she muttered so weakly, I don't think I've ever heard her so weak before hearing her just huff out a heavy breath, I don't know why, but I had a feeling she had passed out.

"(Y/n)...? (Y/n)!" I called but had no more answer than her breathing heavily.

I stood up immediately and grabbed my stuff, changing out of my scrubs as well as I panicked.

"Woah there loverboy, you can't just leave in the middle of your shift" Hongo sighed, "but you know what? I'll take your shift, don't worry. Take care of your girlfriend"

I just gave him a swift nod before leaving and hopping into my car, wasting no time to power it up and drive off to her apartment.

I left my things inside the car, but took my wallet, phone, and the spare keys I had of her apartment with me as I rushed to go and unlock her apartment door.

At first glance, it was relatively quiet. Which wasn't entirely unusual considering at this time of day, she's either drawing or just laying in bed.

After locking the door, I threw my things on the kitchen counter and rushed to her bedroom to see her curled on her bed, her phone beside her head, and her face flush with what seemed to be a high rising fever.

I didn't waste any time and rushed to check her temperature. She was already so hot to the touch, but she started shivering a little.

"Don't worry, I'm here. I'll take care of you" I whispered to her before getting up and doing what is necessary to make her fever go down.

Eventually, her fever had subsided just enough so that her temperature was 39°.

Which was still a bit too high as a human's normal body temperature was 37° but at least a bit lower and manageable than before

"Silly girl..." I frowned as I kissed her forehead.

I continued to take care of her for the next 2 days. Hongo-ya and Marco-ya volunteering to cover my shift.

I'll need to find a way to repay them somehow, but for now, my focus is on (y/n) and her slow recovery.

(Y/n)'s pov

(Y/n) slowly woke up to the smell of what seems to be an aromatic scent of... Soup? Porridge? Whatever it is, it smells delicious.

But oddly enough, she doesn't have an appetite.

The door to her bedroom eventually opened and closed quietly as she then saw, through her thick eyelashes that were blurred with some tears, that Law was now in her apartment.

She could see relief in his actions when he placed down whatever he was doing and sat beside her on the bed, placing a hand on her cheek and wiping away the tears that managed to escape while she slept.

"You're finally awake..." His warm voice calls softly and kissed her forehead, "why didn't you tell me you were sick? I could've been here for you..."

"I... It's just that... You're really busy and... I don't want to..." She muttered before being silenced with a soft hush.

"Enough of that, didn't I tell you already that if you need me, just call...?" He frowned a bit before shaking his head, "we can talk about it once you're better. For now, sit up. I'm helping you eat."

With his help, she was able to sit up with her back against the headboard.

"Ahh" Law said after blowing the steam off a spoonful of soup, "I need you to eat even just a few bites so that you can drink some medicine. Okay...?"

She sighed as she forced herself to eat, she can't taste anything but her gut told her it was delicious.

"Blackleg-ya insisted for me to make you this soup... I hope it's alright" he says as he fed her a couple more times before she refused any more.

"Alright... Wait here and I'll grab some medicine."

She nods weakly as he left, but came back almost immediately with a glass of water and medicine in hand.

"Here..." He says as she drank the medicine and water, "that's my girl..." He smiled softly before kissing her cheek.

"Law..."

"Yes, love?"

"Thank you... For taking care of me all this time..." She smiled softly at him as well.

"Nonsense... This is the bare minimum. I promise, I'll take good care of you in the future. Just call me up and I'll be here. No matter how busy I am." He placed a hand over hers, "I want to kiss you on the lips but I'm afraid I might get infected. But I will kiss you once you're all better."

"I'm looking forward to that..." She said weakly with a tender smile.

"Now, get well soon alright? I'll be here." He smiled, "oh, and one thing... You should've told me, dumbass... I don't care how busy I am or whatever time is. I'll defy all odds just to be here for you."

"That's my boy..." She smiled as he chuckled.

[arcadia-of-pluto]

"Ghost of You" .1. || Caleb

Paring; LADS Caleb x reader

Word count; 4,561

Themes; angst (depression, anxiety, slight PTSD, nightmares, suicide ideation "it should've been me")

Warnings; cursing! That's all I got tbh

Notes; Hey guys! The more "mature stuff" is in part 2, but I'm warning yall...it's not even really mature 😭 this is just honestly an angst-y, lighthearted one-shot to celebrate the return of Caleb and how i can't wait for the update with him in the game. When he shows up, he's heavily out of character and it's honestly because it wouldn't feel right to have him being a dick to the reader whenever she's like this 😞

Also, this is lightly edited, but I probably won't be italicizing anything—

☆ Part 2 ☆

Sleep has evaded you for almost a year now. Every time you close your eyes, you’re brought back to that same place, that same time. Moments before the accident. You lose all sense of control, you’re helpless to your dreams as your body forces you to sleep from exhaustion…

You’re brought back to that time. That fateful moment eleven months ago. The day your life changed for the worst.

Your childhood home in the Bloomshore District looks exactly as you remembered. The metal gutters just barely hanging off, the chipped paint near the front window, the pristine black door that you and Caleb had to repaint constantly…

Your feet led you to the front door, following behind a familiar person - someone who you longed to see once more. Not wanting this to be your last memory of him.

“We’ve been outside for too long, Gran’s going to be worried.”

You feel a sharp pain in your chest at the sound of his voice. But you let out a small laugh and wave your hand, stilling your steps just a few inches away from the front door. “You’re doing it again. Just go inside by yourself. I’m not your sidekick.”

“Fine, but hide the blood on your sleeve before heading inside, okay?” Caleb says as he makes it to the front door, but he pauses to turn back and look at you as he opens the door, “Since you’re a grown-up now, I won’t cover up for you this time.” Then, he steps inside and the door shuts behind him. Once you hear the click of the door closing, you lift your arm up to examine the blood on your sleeve and let out a small sigh.

…No…

Not again…

Your vision is filled with a bright yellow and orange light, your skin feels faintly hot as you’re suddenly overwhelmed with a loud noise and your body flying a few feet back. The sound was so loud like an…explosion? You felt something warm dripping down your neck as you heard a faint ringing.

Through your blurry vision, you could make out flames licking up the debris in front of you and the thick haze of grey smoke. You could just barely hear fire crackling, the scent of something burning, the fumes causing your eyes to water. Your soot covered hands in front of you, finger tips visibly trembling.

Were you on the pavement?

How far did the blast take you?

You felt something warm and viscous dripping from your forehead, wincing as the vision in your right eye turned red from it. You shakily brought your hand up to your face.

Blood?

You let out a grunt as you try to push yourself up with your weakening arms as you were running on pure adrenaline. You force your pounding head to look around, your neck aching. Eyes widening in shock at the rubble and fire in front of you. The scorching flames radiated an intense warmth on your skin, so close and yet so far away. Noises of shock and pain slip from your lips at the sight of your childhood home going up in a smoldering blaze and falling apart with every passing second.

You’re unable to feel at the moment, trapped in this moment. In this nightmare. Unable to leave it as a sense of panic builds up in your throat until…You notice something gleaming just within the light of the fire.

Caleb’s…necklace?

Your breath comes out in painful gasps as you drag your body with your arms, sweat dripping down your body as you finally make it to the tiny flame. Without a moment's hesitation, you shove your hand into the fire. A hiss lips from your lips as you yank your hand back with the necklace in tow. A stinging, burning heat spreads throughout your right hand, but you refuse to let go of the metal dog-tag. Instead, squeezing your hand around it as your eyes filled up with tears.

He was wearing this…He was wearing this. How did it —

Your vision grows darker, blurry from your tears and you fight to stay awake, until your head hits the concrete below you...

You wake up in a flurry of bed covers as you fall off the edge of the bed and hit your head against the floor.

You click your tongue with a tsk as you rub your head. The small scar on your forehead throbs in pain at the reminder of what happened. “Fuck…What’s the time?” You grumble, sitting up on your knees to reach for your phone. The light from it momentarily blinding you.

“10 am, huh?” A small scoff slips from your lips. At least you woke up earlier than usual. Maybe you’d be able to get some work done today.

You notice a few messages from your friends, but choose to ignore them. Not really feeling like responding to them right now. You pull yourself off the floor and walk toward your closet with an uneven gait in your step, your leg sustaining a long term injury from the accident — but nothing that hindered your work as a hunter.

You get dressed in your uniform, your gaze lingering on the shiny, discoloured marking on your right palm that was in the shape of a dog-tag for a moment before you put your fingerless gloves on. Your hand reaches up to nervously wrap around the cool, metal necklace around your neck. The silver metal tinted with black from being in the fire.

A sigh slips from your lips as you quickly shake your head.

Stop.

You grab your laces and tightly tie your boots, grabbing an oversized hoodie as you walk out the door of your apartment.

You can faintly hear someone behind you, but you don’t care enough to turn around until you feel a touch on your shoulder and that’s when you finally look at the person. “Oh, Xavier.” You murmur, feeling partially concerned that you couldn’t make out his voice, but he was speaking near your right ear so it makes sense now.

“I asked are you working today?” He questions, concern fills his sky blue eyes and you have to look away from him. “I was thinking about it. I’m not sure now though. I don’t really feel like it.” You murmur, half under your breath, because it really is frustrating to want to do something, but then your mind decides it doesn’t want to.

“Then, how about we go out somewhere?” He asks, his voice taking on a soft tone as if afraid speaking any louder would break you.

“Do you…think we could get everyone else too?” You seem a bit more interested as you ask this, fully turning your body to look at Xavier as your thumb picks at your nails.

Since the incident, you’ve become a lot more drawn in and had a severe dislike for going outside, especially alone, so it might do you some good to be around everyone else, but you were worried that most of your friends would be too busy or you’d come off as a bother to them.

“I think that — I mean, I think Rafayel wouldn’t mind. He’s never too busy for you.” Xavier takes out his phone to look, his fingers tapping against the screen for a moment. “Zayne says work is pretty slow right now, so he can as well. Oh, Tara too. She’s free.” He glances back at you with a small smile, “But you’ll have to ask Sylus since I don’t have his number.”

“Obviously you wouldn’t have my number. But maybe for times like this, I should hand it over.” You hear a deep voice coming from behind you and turn to the left to see who it is.

“Sylus?” You question, brows furrowing as you wondered why he was just wandering through your apartment building.

“I own this building, sweetie. It would be a little odd if I wasn’t checking up on it every now and again.” He chuckles, tapping his finger underneath his right eye. “Rough night? Your eyebags look like they’ve doubled in size since the last time I saw you.”

You bring a hand up to your face, avoiding his gaze. “It’s the same as always, nothing to worry about.” You clear your throat and turn toward Xavier, “We meeting at Meow’s Cafe?”

“Zayne says he found a good cafe nearby. It’s relatively new, but he’s tried it a few times.” The ash blonde smiles down at you before gently touching your elbow. “Come on, it shouldn’t take that long to walk there.” Sylus raises a brow at this interaction and brushes Xavier’s hand away from you. “How about you walk in-between us, sweetie? If my hand touched light boy’s over there, I fear I might have to cut it off.”

“His hand or yours?” You ask, turning your head to look at Sylus, but all he does is chuckle with a small shrug.

The air outside was relatively warm, but there was still a bite of chill in the breeze. Your cheeks feel warm as the wind whipped against them. You shove your hands in your jacket pockets as your eyes jump from person to person walking past, walking across the road. The people in their cars, the people standing near the large store windows. You catch the faintest glimpse of a tall man with brown hair before your eyes are covered with a hand.

“You’re okay, Y/n. Everyone around is just on their way to work or to hang out with friends like you are.” You can hear Xavier say softly as he falls behind in walking to speak more on your left side.

“I know that.” You grab his hand, yanking it away from your eyes as you search for the familiar figure you just saw. Your brows furrow and a small sigh slips from your lips as you realize you lost them.

Again.

“We’re here.” Sylus holds an arm out in front of you to keep you from mindlessly walking and you look up at the name.

‘Sugar Spoon’.

Hmm…Doesn’t really seem like somewhere Zayne would go, but all right.

As you step inside, you’re greeted with the scent of freshly baked goods and coffee beans. You gaze skirts around the room in an almost paranoia manner until your eyes finally land on your three friends sitting in the corner. A sigh of relief slips from your lips, and you’re honestly not even sure why. You’re just glad they all decided to show up. You feel a slight touch to your back as Sylus guides you to the table with Xavier following in tow.

“Y/n, how are you feeling today? You look worse than before.” Zayne is the first to say anything and you groan, running a hand through your hair, “Geez, thanks, Zayne. You sure know how to make a woman feel beautiful.”

“That’s not what I — ”

“You look better than usual today, angel!” Tara cuts Zayne off as she gently grabs your hand and guides you to sit next to her, your back to the walls so you can keep an eye on your surroundings. “Don’t steal my thunder,” you can faintly hear Rafayel grumble under his breath before he slides a napkin toward you. A sketch of a fish jumping out of its bowl greets you once you look down at it.

“Should I pass this down as a priceless family heirloom?” You pick up the flimsy paper as you gently fold it up, so it can go in your pocket.

“You can sell it for millions at an auction in the future.” Rafayel states, almost proudly as he puffs his chest out, “I can guarantee it.”

A smile tugs at your lips and you can finally allow yourself to relax in your seat. Maybe today would be one of those good days you heard so much about. Almost every single day since then was awful, it was such a drag to do anything, but today feels a bit more positive.

An hour passes and you’re still doing pretty good, all things considered.

Zayne ordered you something sweet, having remembered that they can cheer you up, and thankfully it works. Tara makes sure you get your caffeine for the day. Rafayel keeps passing you drawings that he keeps making comically worse and worse. Sylus keeps you engaged by teasing you every so often, and Xavier keeps you looking forward to the future by making promises — specifically with a pinky swear, because you can never bring yourself to break promises.

But then, the group starts slowly breaking up.

Zayne has to leave, because a few emergency surgeries came up, but he makes a promise to take you out to eat later on today. Then, Sylus has to leave because he has an arms meeting in the N109 Zone — of course, he gives a different excuse to the others, but tells you the truth. He offers to let you drive his motorcycle the next time he stops by. Rafayel leaves next and he’s the most dramatic about it.

Complaining that his precious time with you is being cut short and makes you promise to come to his studio tomorrow so he can give you more drawings, to which you agree with a laugh since he’s bordering on crocodile tears. It’s down to you, Tara, and Xavier, but soon Xavier leaves as well as Metaflux fluctuation causes all three of your watches to chime.

Xavier places a hand on your shoulder and shakes his head. “I can take care of it myself. Relax, even if it’s just for today.” He ruffles your hair with a smile as he leaves.

“Tara — “

“I’m not leaving any time soon, even if Jenna calls. I refuse to leave!” She crosses her arms over her chest as her lengthy bob sways.

“Thank you,” You say softly, before your head jerks toward movement outside the large cafe window. Your bitten nails dig into the leather of your gloves as your eyes widen.

The facial structure, the brown hair, those purple-pink hued eyes…

You quickly stand up, the wooden chair scratching against the ground before Tara grabs your arm. “Y/n, hey, breathe!”

“Caleb…?” You murmur under your breath, trying to tug your arm away from your friend - wanting nothing more than to be able to run outside after the person you just saw.

He was right there. You saw him.

You turn toward Tara and stumble over your words, “You…You saw him too, right?” Your eyes were full of uncertainty and fear, worried that this was just another one of your delusions. You’ve seen him so many times while out with all of your friends, but every single time…They didn’t see him.

“I…” Tara sighs, letting go of your arm to pat your hand, “Sit back down and tell me what you saw.”

Tara was always the first person to hear you out in these situations.

“Walking past the window…I…” You sit back down, running a hand through your hair as Tara takes your hand in her own, gently rubbing her thumb across your knuckles. “I did see someone walk past the window. I can’t say for sure I saw him, but…The amount of times you say you’ve seen him, I think there’s a chance.” She nods her head and you can see in her eyes that she believes what she’s saying, “Genuinely. There’s a chance, right? You signed the certificate, but you only saw one body bag.”

Your brows twitch at the mention of the bag, but you thickly swallow and nod your head, “You’re right…” You take a deep breath and Tara taps between your brows with a finger, “Why don’t you tell me more about him, hmm? Like, for example, the necklace you’re wearing.” She’s picked up on how talking about Caleb is one of the easiest ways to calm you down.

“You’ve heard it before, though. Are you…fine with hearing it again?” You tentatively ask, knowing you’re excited to talk about it.

“Of course. You know my memory isn’t too great, so you can always repeat your stories and I won’t mind!” Tara squeezes your hand and that finally allows you to lose yourself in your past once more.

…You recall how upset and worried you were at the time. You looked down at the rolling suitcases at your feet and squeezed your hand around the handles of one of them, almost as if you could stop Caleb from leaving if you wouldn’t let go of his bags.

“Why the long face, pipsqueak? I’m just going to Aerospace Academy, shouldn’t you be happy?” At the sound of his voice, you looked up at your childhood friend with a pout on your lips, “But it’s aaalll the way in Skyhaven. What if I suddenly…I dunno…Crave your braised chicken wings?”

Grandma laughed next to you, coughing into her fist as she sat on the bench, waiting for Caleb’s bus with you both. “Don’t be too sad. He’ll be back for the holidays and when he is, I’ll make him cook for you every day.” She smiled up at you, gently prying your hand off of Caleb’s suitcase and tapped her hand against the box in your pocket.

A soft blush crept up your cheeks, anxiety building in your chest as you lightly swatted her hand away and brought a finger up to your lips.

“That means I should get a reward for being your free personal chef, right? What is it, hmm? Didja get me a send off gift?” He took his hands out of his pocket and tilted his head to the side, a small chuckle slipped from his lips as you scoffed and shook your head, “Who says I got you one, huh? Me being here should be enough for your send-off gift.”

“Did you think I hadn’t noticed you being all sneaky these past few days. I know what you’ve been doin’.” Caleb lifted his hand up in the air, using his evol to swipe the navy blue box from your jacket pocket. “Caleb, that’s cheating!” You grabbed hold of the box, but he shifted his hand up and it opened. “You can’t just use your evol to take it!” You whined as the jewelry hovered underneath his palm and you tried to quickly reach forward to take it back, but he lifted his hand up higher.

“I knew it would be in a style you really like. Won’t you put it on for me?” He held the necklace out toward you in his palm and you scoffed, “No way. Don’t you have hands?”

“Nooo, I don’t. Hurry, the train is about to leave.” He suddenly leaned closer to you and bent his knees so you could reach his neck. You breath hitched in your chest at the close proximity and you grumbled under your breath, “Hmph…Fine, but if I see it’s not with you next time, you’ll be sorry.” You took the dog-tag necklace from him and turned your head to the side as you clipped it around his neck.

“Perfect. Thank you, pipsqueak.” Caleb chuckled, ruffling your hair to mess it up and laughing at you groaned, trying to hit him in retaliation. “See you soon, Y/n.” He grabbed his bags, dragging them behind him as he waved, before boarding the bus…

“Y/n,” Tara questions as she waves a hand in front of your face and you blink a few times, clearing the fog from your brain as you focus on her. “Yeah, sorry…” You wince, rubbing the bridge of your nose. “I know I’ve told you this before, but…Do you think you might’ve liked Caleb? Like more than a — “

The bell on the cafe door chimes as Xavier re-enters the cafe an hour after he left. “Did I miss anything?” He asks as he stands next to the table and you quickly shake your head, “Nah, I was just getting ready to leave.”

“Y/n — “

“Tara, I love you, but…There’s no use thinking like that.” You shoot her a forced smile, feeling your heart pang as you shove down your feelings, because if he’s gone, it doesn’t really matter how you feel. There’s no use thinking about it, because it’ll only hurt more to realize it after he’s already gone. “I’ll see you tomorrow, maybe? If I don’t show up, try to convince Jenna not to fire me.” You lean down to give Tara a hug before you and Xavier head back to the apartments.

The sky already turning a beautiful shade of pinky orange as you entered the building and went up the elevator.

In front of your door, Xavier pauses, hesitating for a moment before he speaks, “Want to have a sleepover?” You raise a brow before a smile ghosts across your lips. It was rather endearing to see just how much he worries about you, and you nod your head, “Of course, do you even have to ask?”

You unlock the door with your thumb and step inside with him. Your orange tabby runs up, rubbing his body against your leg as he lets out a raspy meow.

“Leo…” You let out a sigh as you crouch down to pick him up, hand petting across his soft fur. Leonardo da Meowci must’ve noticed you were starting to feel a bit down…

“He’s already gotten so big,” Xavier comments, scratching the tom cat under his chin. “Isn’t he the one Rafayel took you to get?” “Yeah, he’s the kitty we saw back on Hat Island. I can’t believe someone just abandoned him there,” You murmur, resting your cheek against his fur, “Poor baby must’ve been so scared…”

You set Leo back onto the floor and head into the kitchen. Your stomach growls and you really wanted some braised chicken wings, but…You’d never be able to make them the way you wanted them.

“You want me to try and make something?” Xavier follows behind you like a stray dog, looking excited as he can finally show off what he’s been learning.

“Go ahead, but please, don’t burn down my kitchen.” You pat his shoulder and walk toward the living room. “I’m gonna watch some tv. If I fall asleep, wake me up.” You sit down on your couch, resting your sock-clad feet on the coffee table in front of you as you pick up the tv remote to click the tv on. Your eyes felt a bit heavy after a few minutes, but you fought against sleeping. You really couldn’t deal with another nightmare…

…“We’ve been outside for too long, Gran’s going to be worried.”

You hear his voice for the nth time.

You had to try and change something. Anything. You couldn’t let this dream play out like the previous times.

“Hey, Caleb…” You wrap your arms around your waist, stilling your steps just a few inches away from the door. “Can you use your evol to grab Grandma from outside?” Your heart was pounding in your chest, anxiety scratching at your throat.

“Huh, pipsqueak, what’re you talking about?” Caleb turns toward you with a raised brow as he opens the front door. He goes to enter and you quickly grab his arm. “Please, try? I’ll even resonate with you.”

Even though you know nothing with change no matter how hard you try, you want to, at least, have a happy dream tonight. No more nightmares.

“I…Alright, I guess I can try. Don’t get mad if it doesn’t work though.” He reaches a hand inside and you can hear Grandma let out a noise of surprise, before her laughter as Caleb brings her to the door. “Oh, my dear, what’re you doing outside? Come on, I reheated dinner.”

You pause for a moment, taking in the wrinkles on her face, how her eyes turn into crescent moons when she smiles…You haven’t seen her in your dreams in so long.

Should you just…go inside? Allow yourself to die in this dream, so you can at least be with them one last time…

No.

Avoiding their death completely is what you want to do.

You take a deep breath and grab onto Caleb’s hand, focusing on one thing. Forcing a resonance.

“Woah, pipsqueak, what’re you doing?” He turns toward you, worry evident in his pinky purple eyes as he tries to tug his hand away, when finally it clicks. A faint blue glow appears from your hands and you use this opportunity to force the two of them further outside. Using Caleb’s evol as if it were your own — that’s essentially what resonance really is. You power up their evols, but you can also use their evol as well.

“Y/n?”

At the sound of your name, you meet Caleb’s fearful gaze and you lift your hand up. The two of them are pushed further away, far enough to where the blast won’t hurt them…and you take a step back into your childhood home. A content smile spreads across your lips as you keep your eyes on Caleb and Grandma as you close the door.

You take a deep breath at the sound of it clicking closed and you lift your arm up to examine the blood on your sleeve. You close your eyes. A flickering, dancing pattern of bright orange and yellow can be seen behind your closed eyes. The following explosion takes you off your feet and you can feel the pain spread throughout your body along with the searing heat of the flames licking at your skin.

You can vaguely hear Caleb yelling your name and the tearful shout of your name coming from Grandma.

Through ringing ears, you can hear the home falling apart, wooden planks falling to the floor, rubble tumbling about, the fire crackling against your skin. You felt something warm dripping down your forehead, something wet dripping all across your body. Your left arm was trapped under debris.

Was this how Caleb and Grandma felt at the time? If so, you’d gladly take the pain for them.

Even though this was just a dream.

You often wondered if it would’ve been better if it were just you who died, and not them. You haven’t done anything worthwhile since the accident. You’ve occasionally worked yourself to the bone, you made a risky move getting into the N109 Zone because you wanted to fail. You wanted to die, but somehow everything went perfectly. It was like something out there didn’t want you to die, but — it genuinely felt like whatever it was wanted you to suffer.

With blurry, blood tinged vision, you can see rubble and debris being cleared away with a faint blue light, until the sunlight shines into your eyes. You squint, a pained grunt slipping through your lips as you tasted something metallic on your tongue. Then, you notice a blurred figure.

You can’t hear what they’re saying over the ringing in your ears, but you can finally make out that it’s Caleb and you can’t help, but smile up at him. He’s got a terrified look in his eyes as he flings debris around with his evol until he can finally lift you up in his arms.

Ah…So if Caleb was the one outside, he would’ve saved you and Grandma…Well, isn’t that just a low blow? You really were useless until the end…

[ilovesjamesbb]

Please Don't Leave Me (Pt. 2)

Bucky Barnes x Reader

(Part 1) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5)

Warnings: Mature themes, depression, sadness, angst, fluff

Bucky woke up facing the wall. He didn't even have to open his eyes to know that if he turned around you wouldn't be there. He couldn't smell your perfume or hear your soft breath. He internally grimaced. So it would be like old times. They would pretend like nothing happened. 

He rolled over staring at the ceiling, images flashing of last nights events. Please don't leave me. Over and over in his brain. He bunched his fists and rubbed his face. 

Over in y/n's room she was doing the same thing. Staring at the ceiling wondering why she was so pathetic. She had totally freaked him out. What am I doing?

She sat up and pulled at her hair.

"Fuck" Today was going to be awkward. After her realization last night she wanted to die. 

"What am I even doing?" She threw the covers off and stood up when she heard a knock. She froze. I can't do this right now.

Someone knocked again. 

“Y/n, are you coming to train? I thought I was supposed to meet you down there.” Steve said. Oh thank god. 

“Yes. I’m sorry I overslept, give me five minutes, I’ll meet you down there.” You winced. 

“Sounds like a plan.” He laughed. 

You threw her clothes on and looked at yourself in the mirror. You looked rough. Eyes were a little swollen and blotchy, lines from the crinkled sheets were left on your forehead and cheek. 

“Just go train and come back. You won’t see him. He definitely doesn’t wanna see you-” Another knock sounded on the door. It had only been two minutes. Steve needed to chill.

“Doll.” Again, you froze. You held your breath and hoped the person on the other side wouldn't know you were there. 

“I know you’re in there. We need to talk.” Bucky said, he seemed exhausted. You closed your eyes and said nothing. 

“Don’t make me break down this door. Tony is gonna bitch at me if he has to fix another one” His joke was laced with a serious tone. You contemplated it and before you knew what you were doing you whipped open the door. He looked shocked. He opened his mouth to speak but you beat him to it. 

“Stop. I don’t need your help. I’m sorry if I inconvenienced you last night but I promise it won’t happen again. Let’s pretend this never happened and we can go our separate ways.” You said cold and detached. 

“Y/n I can’t do tha-”

“I can’t do this.” 

“Do what?” You knew what he meant. He was asking if this meant talk or us. You both just stared at each other.

“Steve’s waiting for me.” You brushed past him and walked down the hall. As soon as you made it past him your facade broke. 

You sparred with Steve and he certainly didn’t go easy on you. Bruises littered your body from head to toe. A cut sliced through your eyebrow. You needed it though. You needed to feel strong. Taking on the super soldier was therapeutic. You knew you couldn’t beat him but you could hold your own. You headed to the kitchen grabbing the pitcher of orange juice and sat on the counter. Minding your own you just drank and swished it around your mouth. No thoughts plaguing your mind. Then Bucky walked in. He didn’t even look your way. He walked straight past, opening the fridge. You watched him waiting for him to pester you but it never came. 

He went to walk out of the kitchen and you thought you were in the clear until he stopped at the edge of the island. For some reason you wanted him to speak, you wanted him to tell you that it was okay. That you were going to be okay and whisper the sweet nothings you couldn't stop thinking about. You needed to feel his breath on your hair and the hum of his chest. 

You knew he was about to walk away. 

“Don’t.” you said and he turned his head the slightest bit just so you could make out the outline of his lips.  He waited for you to say more. 

“Don’t what?” Still not turning around. You sucked in the remaining air in the room and put down the pitcher. 

“Don’t leave me.” you whispered. You knew he could hear it when he turned around completely. 

“Please. Please don’t leave me.” Your eyes started to glaze over. Your voice cracking. He made long strides over to you and gathered you in his arms, standing between your legs. 

“Doll, I would never. I couldn’t even if I wanted to.” He mumbled into your hair as he leld the back of your head. 

“I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean what I said. Please, forgive me. I know you’re only trying to help me. I was awf-”

“Y/n stop. You didn’t do anything wrong.” He pulled apart placing his hands on your shoulders. Your went to argue and he stopped you.

“I mean it. I’ll never leave you. Nothing you could do or say would make me leave you.” He put his metal fingers through his hair, raking it back. 

“God, y/n, don’t you see what you do to me. I physically can’t leave you. Every part of me belongs to you. My body is your body. Your mind is my mind. You are seared into my soul. If you leave me I think everything I have, everything I am would break.” His breath was ragged now. His chest falling and rising quickly. He stood only a few feet from you. 

“James.” 

“I’m sorry I had to tell you. Actually I’m not sorry-”

“Kiss me.” He froze. 

“James, kiss me.” He didn’t waste another second. He grabbed your face and crashed his lips on to your own. You wrapped your arms around him and hooked your legs around his waist. His hands found your neck and the other grabbed under your thigh pulling you closer. You grabbed the hair on the back of his neck and rested your forehead against his. Tears pricked in your eyes. 

“Tell me this is forever. Tell me you feel the same way. Tell me you need me like I need you.” He spoke softly. 

“I don’t” You looked him in the eyes. His face crumbled. You grabbed his chin.

“I need you so much more. I need you so much that I can’t breathe. I need you so much that when we are apart my heart physically hurts. I can’t think. I can’t eat.  I need you more than I need water. I need you so much that…” You trail off. It’s his turn to grab your hands on his face. 

“So much that what?” He urges you to go on.

“So much that I break down” You let a tear slip down your cheek. A look of anguish crosses his face. 

“You will never have to feel like that again. Doll, you scared me last night. I hated seeing you like that. In that moment I knew I would hurt anyone who dared hurt you. I would fight every monster in your dreams. I would kill for you” You knew that he wasn't lying. 

“So I beg you y/n. Please, god, please. Please don't leave me” 

Let me know what you think! This is my first time writing. Should I turn this into a series and add everything that led up to this?

[mikerickson]

I worked as a poll worker for the first time yesterday

After the primaries in the summer, our County recognized that they had a poll worker shortage leading into the election this year and started putting out advertisements to bring new people in. I realized that I didn't know literally a single person in my life that had been a poll worker before and that it was something I had always taken for granted. With this looming shortage however, I decided to step up and do my civic duty because why not? After a three hour in-person training session and a two hour online training session, I was ready to go.

More under the cut because honestly some of these interactions with voters are kinda depressing:

I had only signed up to do a half-day shift from 5:15 AM to 1:00 PM because I figured I'd be wiped out and exhausted if I did a whole day. Well turns out that my replacement who was supposed to take up the evening shift never showed up, so I ended up staying. I got to the polling location (a local high school) at 5:00 AM and left at 9:30 PM, effectively working a 16.5 hour day with only a 1 hour lunch break. I'll get a $300 check in two weeks, which, hey, beats jury duty!

By law our polling center was supposed to open to the public at 6:00 AM sharp, but we were scrambling and not ready yet when the vote-before-work crowd started banging on the door. Very stressful start to the morning and we immediately had a big line that didn't dwindle down until about 7:30 AM. I unironically wish I had gotten there even earlier.

Our polling location had four districts, and each district had four workers (two to man the check-in table, one to operate the voting booths and ballot scanners, and one to float/rotate out every so often). I was paired with a man and a woman both in their seventies and a woman maybe in her mid forties, but they were all clearly uncomfortable with technology. Two of the other districts were also staffed by old people who just gave up at the first sign of a problem with a touch screen or a printer jam. I'm talking just a complete lack of problem-solving capabilities. I ended up running triple duty checking people in, making sure voters were set up in their booths properly, and doing on-the-fly tech support and troubleshooting. It felt rewarding multitasking and hearing, "get Mike over here, he'll fix it" over and over, but I kinda wish I didn't have to?

We only had two voters make a scene over the course of the entire day. During the morning rush right after opening a woman raised her voice asking why there was a line and stressing out that she had to leave to go to work soon (she stuck it out in line and then bolted out of there). Later around lunch time a guy at one of the other districts' tables shouted something like, "oh, so my dad can vote here but I can't?" He stormed out in a pissy mood shortly after, but I never got the full story of what was going on there.

I had one man who had recently moved and hadn't updated his registration with the board of elections, so his address didn't match what was on file. I explained that he could still vote if he did a provisional ballot, which is basically like a mail-in ballot that you put in a special envelope and leave at the polling station instead of taking it to a drop-off box. Apparently that was a step too far and he just said, "forget it..." and left. Seemed odd to me that he 1) physically drove to a voting location to vote and 2) waited in line to sign in, but that filling out a single sheet of paper was no longer worth it.

Once we were fully set up and getting into the flow of things most of the delays and reasons for lines were the voters taking too long inside the booths. It was basically a giant touchscreen monitor to select your choices, then you review everything one last time before printing a physical ballot. I had multiple people enter the booth and then wait about five minutes before calling for help saying they didn't know what to do. Also the second page/backside of the ballot was for the local Board of Education candidates, and this was really tripping up a lot of people. Also a staggering amount of people just did not see the giant "NEXT" arrow at the bottom right hand side of the screen. Poll workers are not allowed to enter the booth with them, so I had to do a lot of blind troubleshooting from the other side of the curtain.

Lots of men coming in with their wives and girlfriends and just waiting by the wall while the women voted but they didn't.

There was a smattering of young people, but not many. I did have to turn one girl away who recently turned 18 because New Jersey is not a same-day voter registration state. She was visibly bummed out and I felt bad about that.

Our oldest voter of the day was this ancient Polish woman who didn't speak a lick of English. Her daughter, who must've been in her eighties herself, had to sign a special permission slip to enter the booth with her mother to help. They were in there for a good 15 minutes, but luckily this was during a calm period of the day.

In terms of voter attire, we only had two Harris shirts and one Harris/Walz hat we had to ask people to cover up because that's not allowed within 100 feet of the polling station. Lots of Puerto Rico flags, and one guy had this obnoxious shirt of a coquí painted like the flag that I loved. Also had one man come in wearing a very sharp suit with the loudest red tie I've ever seen in my life who proudly shouted, "Let's make voting great again!" as he left after he finished.

One older Hispanic lady (I think she was Puerto Rican) had very broken English and had to do a provisional ballot for some reason. She was so worried she was going to do it wrong, but I walked her through it with my very broken Spanish and after about 20 minutes she was good to go. She was extremely thankful and gave me a hug.

I had one woman, maybe in her mid-forties, call me over to help when she was inside the booth. She asked, "why are there so many names?" I asked what she meant, and she started listing the down-ballot candidates in the other rows below President and Vice President. She said, "what is 'Senate'? What does that mean?" I explained to her that there were other contests to vote for, and after a telling pause she responded, "...okay..." Not entirely sure I got through to her.

One woman took her very young daughter into the booth with her and a few minutes later called me over. Her screen displayed a "USB device disconnected" error. I looked down and saw that the printer had been turned off. I asked how that happened and the little girl started laughing. Her mother was mortified, but I got them sorted out.

We had one teenager who we had to help insert her ballot into the scanner because her hands were shaking so violently. It was her first time voting and she was extremely nervous. I hope she's doing okay today.

Towards the end of the night this contractor with filthy hands comes in and he's clearly exhausted but wanted to vote anyway. We were shooting the breeze while he signed his voting authority and I said, "I bet I got you beat though, I woke up at 4:30 this morning." He looks up at me and deadpans, "I've been up since 3:30." I yielded and he laughed with me.

Our second-to-last voter of the day was some early-twenties guy who moseyed on in at 7:55 PM (polls legally close at 8:00 PM sharp) and said, "I heard this was going on today." Somehow he was registered and was able to get in and out in no time, but that was just such a casual remark to make that it floored me.

Our absolute last voter of the day was a woman who was on her cellphone the entire time trying to coax her husband - who was in his own car about two blocks away from the sounds of it - to hurry on over before we closed. I could hear him hemming and hawing over it, making some excuse. He didn't make it.

Closing the polls was equally as confusing and stressful as opening them was because there are a lot of very detailed ballot reports to print and specific zip ties with specific barcodes and serial numbers to close up the machines. We were missing a certain lock for the ballot bag that we was preventing all sixteen of us from leaving (no one can leave until all districts at the polling location are ready). Eventually I (because of course it was me) found it in a trash can; someone had thrown it out for some reason but no one owned up to doing it.

As we were leaving and all saying goodbye, some of the other poll workers joked, "see you guys in four years!" I pointed out that there are elections every year, and that in fact New Jersey has a gubernatorial election next year, and some of them basically said, "I didn't know that."

Overall a stressful but memorable day. Today I was talking to some co-workers that voted at different locations within my County (so using the same equipment I was trained on), and they were telling me stories of waiting between 45 minutes to two and a half hours at most. My location never got a line that bad, which maybe had to do with the location I got assigned, but it's also just as possible that me and one other guy around my age (shout out to Giovanni working District 27!) held our shit down and prevented that from happening.

It was a very long day that wiped me out. In a vacuum I don't know that I would want to do it again, but after seeing the incompetence of the standard ilk of poll workers and learning what was happening at other locations, I really feel like I need to. I'd rather these things be run by people like me than not.