#can't vent about this on the discord since we're both in there and I don't want him to know just how upset I am about this

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for telling a guilt-tripper to knock it off?

I'm part of a Discord server for authors, both aspiring and published. We chat about life, discuss story ideas, share snippets, look for beta readers, give each other feedback on our query packages—the usual. We're from all over the world, so sometimes time zones don't match up, and inevitably there are members who are more active and, thus, get a bit more attention

There's this one user—let's call them Kat—who used to be fairly active and had decent interaction from other users. Around December, Kat shared a bit of their writing to a critique swap—basically a Google Drive where we could look over each other's stuff and provide feedback. They uploaded a bit late due to their schedule (GMT) and didn't get as much critique as they'd hoped, which made them a bit disheartened and they commented as much in the server. I can't blame them, since feeling ignored sucks, but I feel like complaining about it in the general channel (we have a dedicated vent channel) was a bit gauche.

Regardless, Kat continued to be active, albeit posting less frequently. Notably, most of their posting seems to be either responding to group prompts or talking about their own writing. Rarely do they respond to someone else's comments—or, hell, even replies to their own! I've seen people inquire more about stuff they've brought up, and then they just never respond. People do interact with them; they just don't interact back.

About a month ago, they messaged the server talking about recovering from illness and coming up with a story idea, asking for people to look over their first few pages. Two people responded with sympathy and interest; as far as I'm aware, Kat never got back to those people. Usually in interactions like this, someone asks for feedback, another person replies to tell them they're interested, the OP asks to DM, and the conversation goes there; Kat straight up left them hanging. After that, they only sent a few messages—a couple of replies to group prompts (those rarely have interaction from other users, though I've made an effort to react or reply to interesting responses, and I've seen a few others do the same), and another passive-aggressive comment about being ignored.

Tonight, Kat sent a message to the chat in the general channel (again, not #vent) that started with, "Whatever I've done or not done that's made me a social pariah in this group to people I thought were friends who now ignore my questions or posts, at least have a modicum of compassion and heart this message..." They then continued, talking about losing someone close to them. I do sincerely feel for them, but I can't bring myself to interact with that message in any way. Not even the heart they want. Worse, I'm entertaining the notion of telling them that while I am genuinely sorry for their loss, guilt-tripping people isn't an effective way to garner compression.

Why I WBTA: Literally they're grieving, that's such a shitty thing to do right now. Besides, they are right in that people haven't interacted with them as much ever since they asked for feedback on their work that one time. I doubt this will help anyone, let alone them.

Why I might be a JAH (I know for a fact there's no world where I'm NTA): Responses have dipped because they aren't posting as much, and moreover, since they rarely respond to people at all, it's likely that we've all learned that it's not worth it interacting with them. Besides, if I ignore them, they'll just keep guilt-tripping even more, which also isn't helpful to anyone. And again—we have a vent channel. Why they came into the place where we chitchat about our weekend plans vexes me somewhat.

I dunno. It's a very damned if I do, damned if I don't situation. WIBTA?

What are these acronyms?

[our-transgender-experiences]

Hi Alex. Is it ok to vent a little bit a lot? It's completely fine if you don't post any response, I completely understand. This is a HUGE experience prompt to respond to.

I was birthed with the male sex (he/him) so you can call me that.

Over the past year and two months, I've been feeling just a little off. I keep a journal, and have since before that moment, so I have my experience written down carefully. In short form, I don't know who I am. In a longer form, I'm a weird, cringey high schooler who doesn't know who they are, who wears a galaxy backpack to school, who is agnostic (Christian, but can't prove it right or wrong), aromantic, and asexual. My experience isn't special by any means, in fact, I think I fit literally every queer stereotype known to mankind? Here's the best part: I live in Oklahoma, the famous place of Nex Benedict's horrific death.

About a month ago, I saw "Celeste" in a YouTube video about some of the hardest, but most enjoyable, games of all time. I looked it over, it's on sale for $5, and I'm fortunate enough to be able to afford that. So I got it and finished it within 3 days. I instantly recommended it to my brother, who also happens to be a little queer. He loved it too, but I STILL didn't know the backstory behind that game. Then, I saw the video. It was an amazing reading of Celeste, down to every minor detail of the game. One thing that stood out, was the fact that the both the creator, and the protagonist, were trans women. Even better: it was known for being a wonderful story of the trans experience, and I RELATED TO IT. EVEN BETTER: I had now recommended it to practically my entire friend group, including some incredibly religious people. So what was I gonna do about it? Not care, and continue onto the B-sides.

I want to say 5 days ago was when it really kicked in that "wait a minute, I related to Madeline in a very deep way, and she's a trans..." Now this is the climax, get ready. Because I had been journaling for so long, I had already written about my experience since those early days where I had that so-called dysphoria. And after I realized that could be because I'm trans, I immediately asked my parents what my girl names were before I was born. (doctors didn't know my sex until about two weeks before I was due) "Eden" is a pretty cool name, I guess I'll try it. I walk into my dad's office (works from home) that same day after school, and he immediately turns to me and asks: "So why did you need to know your girl names?" I immediately respond with "... idk?" Very convincing, well done. I text him after I flee to my room, "I'm experimenting, don't take that too seriously" He understands, and I'm at peace. Mom also takes it well, and we're good to actually begin the experiments I was "planning".

First up, change the online bios, like Discord. See how it actually looks on me. AAAAND my best friend sees it within a few hours. Not even prompted, we were talking, playing rocket league, and he just "hey why's your bio say you're experimenting with 'Eden' as your new name?" Explained, but he was in a weird spot. "I'm happy and will support you with whatever you **choose**." Key word there, I'm not choosing anything. I'm actually going with the flow so much more than he could imagine. But okay, we've got a pretty good ally on our side! Going great.

Except here comes "Part of Me" with the anxiety of what could happen, why I shouldn't do anything different around peers, and more importantly why I shouldn't experiment with myself. And to be honest, I believe that part of me. There's so many questions that I ask like "but what if it's all for attention?" or "but you always acted like a boy, why are you changing now? or "maybe the other Christians were right. you are a sinner after all, you're a bad person and you DO deserve to die." You know those.

And with those come the questioning part of it. Am I ACTUALLY just doing what I'm doing for attention? Like I said, I'm a high schooler. I'm a future aerospace engineer for SpaceX, I love computers, and I have top 1% test scores as a sophomore. I'm doing good with school, but that's exactly why I basically have one friend who is also up there with me. I'm not here to brag, I'm here to show that I don't get a lot of attention at school, it's basically all family members who care about me. So again, am I just trying this for attention? I don't think so, but that seems like what my brain would want me to say.

And to be honest, I needed this. I vent every day, but to nobody except Google advertisement algorithms out of Google Docs (my journal). I vent and cry into empty space, but maybe this is finally not just to my phone. This is to another human who I think has had a close experience to mine.

And of course I'm not going to ask you "who am I, who do I like, and what's my gender?" But I am going to ask you one thing: What's your take? I mean this is the trans experiences blog, but I'm not sure if I am a trans. I figured this was the best place to get a good use out of my time. Thank you so much for letting people like me do this, it seriously means a lot.

i'm glad that you feel that this is a space where you can comfortably talk about your experience, and question your gender. My advice, is to keep experimenting,and see where it takes you find out what you're comfortable with, it might take time, and it might change. It took me a while to get to where i am now, and even now i'm not 100% sure. i tried different labels that felt right at the time, but they changed later, and thats okay.

[eulangelo]

callout for @genderfluidlucifer

google docs

tw for transmisogyny + TERFs + emotional manipulation

Transmisogyny

Lucifer is a huge transmisogynist who will complain 24/7 about how TERFs hurt the ace community, but the moment @randomclustermissile , a trans girl (who is not an exclusionist at all) tries to point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles (in the most vague and general way possible, without pointing fingers nor calling anyone names) Lucifer will immediatly jump to block her and so they did with me (another inclusionist) and i have to suppose to everyone else who agreed with that post, even arriving to vagueing about us in private group chats to suggest that we were “sympathizing with exclusionists”. all because we dared point out transmisogyny in inclusionist circles. lucifer is TME but apparently they think they’re the authority on TERFs and their talking points but actual trans women are not, according to them, since this is the stuff that they would go and spew to other people. (screenshots from @enbyoctoling​)

here’s more examples of Lucifer (again, a transmasc person) going deep in detail about how according to them, TERFs/SWERFs hate aro/ace people and are an active threat to us

1. link

[Image ID: Three screenshots of a post by Genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot is of a paragraph that reads, "Hey. So I can actually answer this. Anon your commentary about how you thought terfs would approve of sex repulsed aces is sort of it. Except...not. Basically terfs hate ace people for not wanting sex in the approved by terfs way. Terfs are actually extremely interested in [forcing] amatonormativity onto everyone. Because for as sex negative as terfs are...they don't want to actually acknowledge or change the fact that amatonormativity is at the root cause of rape culture and misogyny."

The second screenshot is a zoomed in section of the post that reads, "So yeah no I have NO idea where exclus allies are getting this idea from that terfs would even remotely care about the sexual rights of ace people. Terfs generally hate any sexualities in the LGBTQ+ acronym that aren't LGB because they can't force a gender binary onto those sexualities. At least, not as easily. That's why it's actually a massive sign of someone who doesn't call themselves a terf being a crypto terf if they use the term LGB in a positive manner. Along with the term SGA, as it is deliberately exclusive of nonbinary and not inherently SGA centric queer-aligned sexualities. /END ID]

link to the full post, these are just excerpts but the whole thing is just a very long rant about how TERFs hate ace people and so on (i think it’s worth noticing that although the actual post is kinda long, trans women are never once brought op in a conversation about TERFs issues and the only time transmisogyny is mentioned is not relevant to the conversation)

2. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is nothorses. It reads, "Because apparently I have to say it: Testosterone is not a 'violent' hormone. It doesn't make you 'more aggressive' or a worse person, it doesn't make you 'dangerous,' or 'toxic.' Transmascs do not need to be 'warned of the dangers of T.' We do not need to spend our transitions terrified that we're going to become a danger to those around us - that HRT is going to turn us into a monster.

Everyone experiences mood swings during hormonal shifts (pregnancy, menstruation, menopause, estrogen HRT, etc.) and while you might have grumpy moments or feel anger/frustration that you need to learn to handle differently, that doesn't make you a bad person.

Testosterone can change the way you access/process emotions somewhat, but if you're already thoughtful about how you handle your feelings and treat others, you're going to be fine. It's normal to lash out on occasion, by accident, then apologize and work to do better. It doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone on HRT is prone to this, and everyone experiencing hormonal changes is prone to this.

Getting HRT should be positive and affirming; you should not have to spend your entire transition terrified of becoming a monster."

The post then has a reblog by captainlordauditor that reads, "The big danger of T is that needle ouchy." /END ID]

here’s them reblogging from known transmisogynist user @nothorses (once again, the irony that a post about how testosterone is seen as the "aggressive hormone" does not mention transfem at all which are literally the main victims of this rethoric in the first place)

3. link (1), link (2)

[Image ID: Two screenshots of posts by genderfluidlucifer. The first screenshot reads, "Queer exclus: We're not repackaging terf rhetoric! Saying that is transmisogynistic! Also queer exclus: Remove the plus from LGBT!" and has tags that say, "I will pay these people to grow some god damn self awareness. Imagine being this dense. Queer discourse." The post has 15 notes.

The second screenshot reads, "Honestly it is so stupid and frustrating to see ace exclus continue to deny that the ace discourse was started by terfs. Proof was given countless times. And a big name terf like galesofnovember even admitted to starting it. Those of you who demand proof but ignore all of this never wanted proof to begin with." and is tagged with, "ace discourse. The post has 38 notes. /END ID]

heres another two post of theirs conflating TERFs with ace exclusionism

4. link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblogged post by furbearingbrick. The original poster is boxlizard, Lucifer's old account. The original post reads, "By the way for people still in denial about it, here's galesofnovember, a terf, admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement. She's taking credit for it. Normally if the victims of this behavior weren't ace/aro or other queer identities y'all be ready to rightfully lynch her. But since it's us, y'all just still wanna stamp your feet and go, 'Nuh uh!' instead of acknowledging facts." The part that says, "admitting that she intended to start the ace exclus movement" is a link to a galesofnovember post.

There is then a reblogged addition from furbearing brick that reads, "archived versions of the receipts" and has two links to the webarchive. The tags read, "Bringing this back since it's apparently still relevant. Terfism mention. Aphobia mention. Queerphobia mention. Blocklist." and has 1,455 notes. /END ID]

this is their post that ive already talked about but basically they found a 52 notes post made by a TERF in 2012 and this one person said "i dont know why i dont get to be the princess of the anti-ace-brigade" and apparently they are convinced that this means TERFs started the ace exclusionism movement and that this is one of their goals. which is insane when TERFs in real life only care about making life miserable for transfem people first and foremost.

5.link

[Image ID: A screenshot of a reblog by genderfluidlucifer. The original poster is yu-gay-fudo. It reads, “Just in case you happen to be unaware, some of the “radfem lite” they post to warm you up to their rhetoric, just off the top of my head:

- Ace/aro exclusionism

- Bi exclusionism or claims that bi people are “less queer” bc of “straight passive privilege”

- Saying you have to be dysphoric to identify as transInvalidating nonbinary people

- Calling queer a slur regardless of context, saying people can’t identify as queer, and saying that it can’t be reclaimed

- “Mogai hell”, “kweer”, or otherwise mocking less common labels and claiming they are “just cishets who want to feel special”

- Excluding sex workers from feminist discussions or claiming that sex work is inherently evil

- Basically anyone who thinks they can determine what other people identify as”. The tags read, "queerphobia tw. twerfs tw. no id." and has 70,727 notes. It was reblogged on March 22nd, 2021 /END ID]

another example of conflating radfems to things that, while wrong, have little to nothing to do with them because being a radfem, again, is something very specific that has all to do with transfem oppression.

Emotional manipulation

Lucifer has done nothing but block, break boundaries, spread lies and vague about people, some of which were even mutuals with them knowing they would see the posts. when confronted about it Lucifer's only answer was "just say you hate me and block me" but they actually ended up blocking everyone first, making it impossible for anyone to set some boundaries with them or even just to calmly confront them about anything.

[proof: Io(popncourse) and Lucifer had a disagreement in a shared discord server, which prompted Lucifer to vague Io in a vent post. Io confronted them, as being vagued is one of buns triggers, to which Lucifer initially agreed to delete the vent post, but then proceeded to victimize themself and immediatly blocked Io. later on, Jude(malewifedeckard) was confronted by Lucifer, then after Jude told them “I’m worried that you’ll vague me just like you did with Io” they proceeded to block Jude and vagued about him too. when Io made a post (which was not a callout, it was just bun setting buns boundaries) explaining what Lucifer did, Lucifer immediatly jumped to victimize themself, acting like they were being called out and straight-up lying, even going so far as to say that no one tried to hear them out, which is a blatant lie if you consider the aforementioned Io and Jude’s attempts at doing so, with Lucifer immediatly blocking and cutting ties with the both of them. ] 

(screenshots taken by @popncourse and @malewifedeckard)

as seen in the proof above Lucifer’s behaviour is not ok because they don’t accept any kind of confrontation and immediatly jump to blocking, and after blocking, they'd immediatly go and vague about the people who confronted them pacificly, spreading more lies and painting themself as the victim and even arriving to say “no one hears me out at all” which is simply not something you can say when you block people who are trying to hear you out in the first place.

this is by no means an invitation to go and harass them, send them hate or anything like that. i absolutely don’t want anything even remotely hateful or negative to be sent their way after this post. 

this post was only made because:

1. as an ace person who fully supports the inclusion of aspec identities in the lgbt+ community i don’t want to support an enviroment that costantly downplays transmisogynistic oppression in order to be taken seriously. there are hundreds of ways to make aspec activism without acting like we(as in TME aspecs)are the victims of a system that seeks for the annihilation of transfemenine people in real life everyday. i especially don’t want to support TME individuals who act transfem-friendly but then block any transfem who tries to speak on transmisogyny without a second thought.

2. Lucifer’s behaviour has hurt two friends of mine and i don’t want to associate with someone who actively breaks people’s boundaries without taking accountability when messing up.

3. i cannot associate with someone who spreads lies about me accusing me of sympathizing with exclusionists all while having me blocked so that i can’t see it nor defend me. they complain about people not hearing them out but they’re the very first person who does not try to hear people out, and instead jumps to spread baseless rumors. this is not someone i can nor want to associate with. 

(image descriptions provided by @malewifedeckard)

[maningrey0204]

hiatus.

hey, PurpleProse/Grey (on Discord) here. if you're reading this, it's because I've linked this post and you're wondering what's going on, along with why I'd suddenly go and cut off access to my own social media. well, I'm more than happy to explain. I'm going to be giving a lengthy explanation + vent the cut. if you just want the summary, it'll be before that. TL;DR: I have Issues, and was spending too much time on social media to procrastinate + cope with said issues. this has led me to fail a lot in Important Life Things, making my family members stressed out over me. it has culminated-yesterday-in me putting off completing something important. my mom found out about the procrastination and got very mad at me over it, along with my usage of social media in general. she now wants to kick me out of the house in a month. my dad's more lenient, but wants me to cut off all my social media in general, which is what I want too. partly in the hopes that I'm not kicked out but also because I know that it would be beneficial for me to get my Internet usage under control. idk when I'll be back. I'll still be posting fanfiction over on AO3 (my username there's the same as my Tumblr and Twitter), and if we're close mutuals, you can always PM me to hash out an alternative means of communication that isn't social media. in the meantime, I hope you all have a happy & fulfilling 2022. I don't think it'll be too different from 2021, but the world needs more kindness & more people who are willing to fight for that-in terms of their own wellbeing and others'. so if you can, please be more kind. also CW/TW for discussion of mental health issues in general, yelling and emotional distress. this is going to be heavy.

I've had mental health issues ever since I was a kid. I'd much rather not go into a diatribe about them, so I'll just list off some (key word being some-I'm not comfortable talking about all of them) symptoms that I know are affecting me now: lack of focus + motivation, memory recall problems, and excessive anxiety/worrying (especially in particularly stressful situations). haven't gotten professional treatment, but I'll look into that when I know I can afford it. for a long time, I've been using social media & the Internet in general to cope with said problems, especially through procrastinating. this in turn has made me avoid tackling things like driving on my own and being studious in university classes. my grades were terrible before the pandemic and continued to stay that way when it started. that's why I'm taking a hiatus until Fall 2022, actually-my GPA wasn't enough for me to stay in enrollment, and I can't go back to classes until then. my parents are Not Happy about this. especially my mom. they both mean well and have given a lot to help my sibling and I. her way of conveying that isn't great, though? sometimes I'll hear about how keeping us both adds to the finances, for instance, and...there's no doubt that it's true, but it also makes me feel weird. I'm not sure if I'm being overly sensitive when it comes to that. and ofc there's the yelling she did that I'll get to. anyways, yesterday (the 29th) I joined a livestreamer's PowerPoint night (think your usual presentations but of a topic of your choice, so they're infinitely more fun), and I believe it was after my presentation that I had to do Something Important that was basically an obligation for irl-related stuff. to be clear: I don't blame the livestreamer at all for what happened. it was my choice to make slides & present them. the only regrets I have are a) I didn't do the bulk of my work until the last minute, thus spending too many hours yesterday on it, b) my presentation was too long and had to be sped up for time, c) I stuck around for the rest of the stream afterwards, not touching that important task at all... ...and d) that I ended up feeling tired afterwards because of a) and c). my Something Important task had something I figured I'd ask my mom about, despite it by then being late in the evening, she offered to help me on it, even eating some food (to help keep her awake while helping me, I think). I asked if that could be postponed to tomorrow because I was so tired. she ended up getting mad because I'd dedicated too much time on that extraneous activity instead of tackling that Something Important task. completely understandable, especially given my past experience with not doing things. but then at some point she started raising her voice and yelling at me. I think this was when I was struggling to respond to one of her questions, but I'm not sure. whenever I'm put in a situation like that, I tend to block out the semantics of her...rambling? angry tirade? it went on for some time, too, late into the night. granted, I did stay up afterwards anyway, partly because I was trying to process what she'd did, but still. she also told me to come up with a plan before today, but I don't remember what it was for, and it didn't matter, because then she called my dad. they both mainly hashed out what had already been said by my mom last night, but more calmly this time. my mom had told me last night that she wanted me to get out of the house in a month. today, I found out that my dad either wanted me to stop using social media or go along with my mom's plan. idk what's going to happen-it'll be hashed out tomorrow, hence why I'm typing this. I figured there's a bit of leeway for me to explain things and make a goodbye message, so I might as well take this chance. I'm hoping I won't be kicked out of the house in a month, because I don't have a lot of income. things would be tougher for my physical and mental well-being if that happened, even with a month to prepare. my mom thinks that it'll help me see the real world but ik all it'll make me to

is have me more susceptible to less than ideal situations. I don't want to fall into poverty and/or be inclined to be more self-destructive. still, in the event that it happens I have to leave the house, I'll still keep fighting to maintain a sense of well being, even if it's hard to come by. I've been struggling a lot for a while, at times even giving up on myself, but I'm still here anyway. and I think that counts for a lot. and regardless, I need to atone for what I've done, at least. my mom's reactions don't wholly feel acceptable to me, but that's no excuse for me to put off my responsibilities-to not give myself the life I need. I've messed up a lot during my struggles, which has to stop-and that can only be done by me taking accountability. my family & myself deserve that peace of mind, at least. plus, it'll be nice to figure out more about myself, work on writing fics & my other hobbies, that sort of thing. if you have read through this, thank you. again, I don't know when I'll be back, but I'll be posting on AO3 for as much as I can with fresh fic content. I'd also like to thank the friends I've met over the past few years on the Internet, specifically on Twitter, Tumblr & Discord. I've always loved talking with you all, sharing my interests with you + vice versa, and overall being able to be myself in a safe space. it means a lot more than you know.

[primergon]

I'm not sure if you're still doing these and it's fine if you don't since you have your own life and can be busy but if it's alright, may I request a tfp match up?

I'm 5'3, asexual and chubby and go by she/her.

I'm calm and withdrawn at first, I'm usually very silent when I'm surrounded by people I am not comfortable with. I have suspicions that my selective mutism that I had when I was younger may still be around because there are some situations that require to speak, I get uncomfortable and find it hard to say anything. I don't know, it's just a thought, not sure if I still kind of have it. I just kinda hate being forced to talk when I don't want to. I don't go out much, I prefer indoors, I only go out if I have to.

But yeah, when I'm surrounded by people I'm comfortable with, I'm more talkative and more expressive of my emotions. I don't have many friends in real life but I do have a few online ones.

I usually prefer texting than verbally talking to be honest. Its just easier for me to express. Not like I could physically see my two best friends since I had to move last year but luckily we have discord 💀🤚 otherwise my dumbass can't even go out to try and make friends nor even want to.

I like games, though, I'm also a procrastinator and a lazy person. I tend to procrastinate on my school work and other things like watching a certain anime, tv show, movie and even with playing games. I have a game block 😔👊.

I don't know, but I can be insecure about myself but I try to be positive about some qualities I have. Anyone could compliment me, I mean, there's nothing to compliment anyways, I would just say that they blind or something or wrong. I get insecure when I show people my music taste only because they just seem uninterested when I play it 😔👊. My friends reckon I'm smart but I just don't apply myself to my assignments... Idk, I believe I'm just stupid. Somehow, I don't get stressed out easily, even when a due date is coming up and I haven't done much in my assignment. But that probably depends on the subject and how important it is for it to be done, otherwise I will start getting a little stressed. I don't believe that my problems should matter ever, because I've had a good childhood, a loving family, though occasionally, I have some problems with my dad otherwise we're usually fine. I mean, my friends and many other people have it worse than me so that's why I don't think my problems are relevant.

I can get childish and get distracted easily. Like, I could be doing an assignment or homework and after 30 seconds, I'm on my phone or doing something else 💀. Sometimes, I need things dumbed down for me because I'm just like, "what??"

I love comedy and laughing, it's just fun. I like memes and sending cursed memes to my friends or anyone else that happens to be on the same server I am. To be honest, I'm active 24/7 on discord and mostly active on one server because I socially suck to talk on any other. I'm not a fan of horror because obviously it's scary yet I like watching people play horror games 🤔.

I'm not a fan of physical affection, but it depends on who the person is and how comfortable I get with them like my family for example. My love language would be quality time I think but only a bit of physical affection if I'm comfortable enough ig 😕.

I've never been in a relationship before because I fear cheating, arguments, having a significant other bored of me and all the other problems. And because I'm not that interest in romance that much at the moment in my life

In regards to people having problems in their life and they vent to me, I find it hard to comfort them. I try to do my best but I suck at it. I usually don't know what to say and I wish I knew. It's not that I don't care, I do, I'm just more of a listener than a talker but I try to find some words to say in attempt to help. It's a little easier for me to comfort someone online than in person, I'd probably be silent.

I'm good at keeping secrets, I would take them to the grave, though sometimes I can forget depending on the secret. I can be a forgetful person, not only with some secrets but other stuff I'm suppose to remember 😭.

I love music, I can't tell what genre I like, I like many songs. I'm also an animal lover and currently doing animal studies, which mostly revolves around dogs at the moment but I'm looking forward for the cat part, I love cats, I have two of them.

I'm sorry for all this information, now that I look at it, that's alot. I'm sorry 😭🤚

A/N : Hi Anon! Thanks for sending this ask, I hope you're doing well (｡𓎆 𓎺 𓎆) Don't worry about the long descriptions, I don't mind! I think I'll pair you up with tfp Smokescreen !

TFP SMOKESCREEN

01 | Smokescreen has a way of making you feel at home. In the beginning, you were reluctant to open up, yet once you've gotten to know the playful mech, you find it easy to talk to Smokescreen. You enjoy listening to him ramble on and on and on and find no trouble comforting him when he needs to hear it. In return, Smokescreen is more than happy to speak on your behalf whenever you don't feel like talking. He may be enthusiastic by nature but he isn't pushy. He never forces you to do something you're not okay with and makes you feel safe. This is why eventually you opened up to him and both of you became fast friends.

02 | Texting with Smokescreen is never boring. He's always ready with a handful of reaction pictures and a dozen of emojis when chatting with you. The young mech is naturally expressive and curious, which is why he's always up to date with the latest memes and trends. ( The way Smokescreen text may frustrate Ultra Magnus at times but it never fails to make you laugh.)

03 | Two of you share a lot of common interests which is why you get along so well. Ever since Jack taught him how to play video games, he's been asking you to indulge him. Smokescreen can also sometimes feel worn out and choose to watch movies with you indoors instead, following the plot of your favorite anime and always quoting them on the battlefield. He's not picky and is almost up for anything as long as you get to spend some quality time.

04 | With his positive, upbeat attitude, Smokescreen rarely seems upset or dissatisfied on the outside. But his inner idealism can leave the mech with a nagging feeling that some major areas of their life just aren’t good enough – which would sometimes make him feel insecure. The two of you seem to understand and relate to each other's experiences, making you comfort buddies that lift each other's spirits whenever you both feel down. He reminds you constantly that your problems matter and he's more than happy to listen to you vent, while you assure him that he is good enough because he's trying his best.

05 | He knows you're afraid of starting a relationship, and while he can be a bit impatient and bold, Smokescreen is more than happy to take it slow with you. While he himself is disorganized, Smokescreen tries his best to remind you to catch up on schoolwork. ( Smokescreen tells himself he's turning into Ultra Magnus whenever he finds himself nagging you.) He doesn't take it against you when you don't get what others are saying and is more than willing to rephrase it for better understanding.

06 | Smokescreen thinks you're special. He loves how you're so good with animals and how you seem to have all the right songs to show him. Smokescreen can watch you play with your cats for hours and has a copy of your playlist for him to listen to whenever he feels down. He finds it adorable how you can be forgetful at times and admires how loyal you are in keeping secrets. ( Like that one time you covered for him and saved him from being yelled at by Ratchet.) He doesn't see any flaw in you and even if he does, he accepts that as a part of you : his favorite human.

I hope you enjoy this Anon ! xx