#can't think of what else right now
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The Ramones- Bumming Along (demo)
And, on a similar note.
It surprises me every time I do run across a Ramones song I have never heard at all by now, but it does occasionally still happen. They were at it for 20+ years, after all--since (slightly) before I was born. Apparently this one got included on some version of Subterranean Jungle, but I missed it. I am failing right now at finding when this was recorded.
#i don't wanna try but i do#ramones#the ramones#bumming along#pretty sure this wasn't the first one where they played on 'cry' and 'try'#can't think of what else right now#but it's a mood#listen to my heart#one example now that i think
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I've had a scenario in mind for a while now about what it would take for Sonic to finally own up to his feelings about Amy. And I think what it would take is...
Shadow.
Well, just plain jealousy and a fear of losing Amy before he even has her. But Shadow would be the best one to instigate it.
First, some headcanons about how they behave romantically:
Amy's maturing and spreading her wings. She's not moving on from Sonic, not really, but it's possible that she's starting to notice other guys. There's some hints in the Twitter takeovers that she may be developing some small interest in Shadow.
Sonic is clearly interested in Amy, and if you pay attention, he has been for a long time. What he's not interested in is marriage- at least, not yet. And Amy is clearly wifey material- she cooks, she takes care of people, she has a caring nature, she's protective, and she's extremely loyal. She's not someone you can use for a one-night stand, you take all of her or you risk shattering her into pieces. She's Sonic's friend, no matter what else he may feel about her, so he avoids any romantic interaction because he doesn't want to hurt his friend.
Meanwhile, Shadow is... not aro-ace, per se, I don't know what you'd call him. He can see that Amy is attractive, but so is Rouge, and Shadow has no interest in Rouge. He just isn't interested in the physical side of romance.
What I think it would take to get Shadow's attention is something deeper, an emotional or spiritual connection.
So here's the Sonamy/Shadamy love triangle scenario that I came up with:
As Amy ages, she feels her desire for male companionship growing stronger. Sonic takes little notice of it, but it doesn't escape Shadow's attention.
Somehow or other, Shadow and Amy end up alone together, probably on a mission or something. I haven't figured out the exact circumstances, but they're together for quite a while. Amy loves to talk to people and get to know them, and Shadow has a soft spot for her, so she's able to get him to talk to her about things that he's probably never told anyone before. And he knows she won't tell anyone about them, either, so he feels safe telling her.
At some point, Shadow realizes, she's done it. She's broken through his barriers, and at the same time, she's calmed the storm of emotions that he's had swirling inside him for 50-odd years. He hasn't felt such peace since... no, not even then. This is something else. He's never felt this way before, and he doesn't have the words to describe it, but he's fallen head over heels for her.
This is why he never lets his guard down, even around the people he trusts most. Because if he lets them in, even a little bit, he might let them in too far. ("Can you see all of me, walk into my mystery, step inside and hold on for dear life.")
He loses control of himself and kisses Amy.
And when he lets go, he instantly hates himself, he starts throwing his barriers back up, because... she's crying. She's crying because she liked it, and she wants more of it, but she's still so desperately in love with Sonic, and she's starting to think she'll never get it from him, so she'll accept affection from just about any man, and it's not like Shadow's unattractive, and, and, and...
So Shadow's raw and open and hurting, he knew before he said or did anything that he was going down a dangerous path, but talking to Amy felt so good he didn't want to stop. And he wants to erase what just happened like it never did. But now he has to be the one to comfort Amy, because this was his fault, Amy was just being the kind and compassionate person she always was and Shadow was an idiot for letting it get to him and making more of it than what it was and losing control. So he has to keep his barriers down for just a moment longer, just long enough to hold Amy and tell her it's not her fault, until her tears finally stop.
It leaves Shadow burning with rage, and as soon as he can, he forcefully confronts Sonic (I imagine Shadow slamming Sonic against a wall or a tree and shouting in his face 😝) and basically tells him, "Amy needs attention from a man, she wants that man to be you, but if you can't grow up and do what it takes, then I'll be more than glad to take your place."
Which scares Sonic good and proper. It's bad enough to think that he could lose Amy, anyway, but to lose her to that faker??? And it finally makes him go to Amy and (very, very awkwardly) ask her to be his girlfriend. And... I'll let y'all imagine the rest.
As for Shadow... he, quite understandably, becomes somewhat aloof towards both Sonic and Amy for a long time after that.
But Shadow's immortal, right? And there's other Amy's in the world. He doesn't have to be alone forever.
Oh, and as for why Shadow would confront Sonic instead of just taking Amy for himself: because he respects both Amy and, especially, himself far too much to do that. He knows good and well she will never be able to fully commit to anyone else as long as Sonic is still an option. If Shadow was to start dating her, she'd go along with it, but it would become a power play between him and Sonic to try to "win" Amy's affections. Shadow has no issues with fighting Sonic over just about anything, but when it comes to his own feelings, he won't stoop that low, and he's not about to hurt himself by playing such a game. I also don't think he would view Amy as "a prize to be won."
#my headcanon#romantic headcanons#sonamy#shadamy#sonic the hedgehog#amy rose#shadow the hedgehog#bittersweet#unhappy ending#sorry if y'all hate me for doing this to shadow#but it felt true to his character#people will probably disagree with just about everything and idc#if he ever fell in love it would be on a deep emotional level#and i think he would have difficulty controlling himself#sonic's completely out of touch with his feelings but shadow is not#shadow just can't pin down his emotions because so many of them are terrible and painful#at least this is what i think anyway#and to clarify: neither sonic nor amy would do this to shadow on purpose#it just kinda happened#in truth i don't think shadow ever would allow himself to open up like that in the first place#but i don't think he'll be alone forever#he just has to find the right person#someone who is selflessly caring and compassionate... but also unattached to anyone else#i may have projected some of my own personal fantasies into this as well XP#i never liked the idea of men fighting over me like a trophy#but the idea of someone respecting me enough to be willing to let go of me for my sake...#now THAT is a turn-on#and hopefully if i ever found someone like that...#i would be smart enough to hold onto him instead of running away
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I love how much Lucullus can't stand Pompey, and also this
Pompey the Great: A Political Biography, Robin Seager
with something from this thrown in for extra flavor
Crassus and Pompey, on the other hand, ridiculed Lucullus for giving himself up to pleasure and extravagance, as if a luxurious life were not even more unsuitable to men of his years than political and military activities.
Plutarch, Lucullus
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / tip jar!
#there were going to be more citations for fun and whimsy but the laptop im borrowing can't handle running any kind of applications#right now and ctrl+f searching in a browser/webpage is also taking quite literally forever so I'm DONE for tonight. i need#to lay face down on the floor and scream for a minute#whining aside. i was watching etiquette for mistresses because i thought it was going to be something else than what it ended up being#but the title slaps and im thinking. hmmmm. thoughts. sulla's nightmare collection of fucked up guys. as a kabitserye type thing#which i will be fully honest. kind of doing that anyway. but i mean REALLY lean into it. embrace it.#they would all be SO awful it would be SO good. 200 episode drama material#komiks tag#lucius licinius lucullus#marcus licinius crassus#gnaeus pompeius magnus#roman republic tag#drawing tag#tris homines#ACTUALLY ANOTHER UNRELATED THING. pompey's whole thing about trying to get the upperhand over crassus#but when milo kills clodius he throws out milo. which honestly. that's about other things. but still! symbolically! it's something!#i'll unravel that thought later
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I just explained this to someone and I thought I'd make a post for it on here too.
Shrouds in Percy Jackson are like this right?
But their siblings decorate and make them out of silks with decorative embellishments on them?
The empty ones are burned after a quest to symbolise that the person they were made for came back from a quest ALIVE.
The lack of cemetery at chb shows that when they burn Silena, Charlie, Luke, Lee, Castor, everyone's shrouds, they have their bodies in them. They're being cremated.
#which is horrible to think cus while you're on a quest your sibs are preparing for your possible death. which ig is a coping mechanism?#`i know your worring about your sibs possible death why dont you make them a burial shroud! if they come back alive we burn it with them!`#`what if they don't come back alive?`#`....ummm well still burn it`#castor and pollux#lee fletcher#michael yew#charlie beckendorf#silena beauregard#luke castellan#percy jackson#annabeth chase#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo#pjo hoo toa#now some might get taken home idk rick never says. it is a kids book he can't out right say it ig#rick riordan#now i dokt think decorating burial shrouds is a an mythology thing or greek thing i think its a 'shit we have to destract these kids from#thinking about the possibility of their siblings death! uhhhhh...... decorate a cloth with us? two birds one stone?'#thing. which is depressing but fair it gives them something else to work on instead of worrying#camp half blood#chb#dont quote me on ancient burial rights but cus idk#the last olympian#the lightning thief#the sea of monsters#the titans curse#the battle of the labyrinth
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I love how ConcernedApe was like "no, you may not have children with your adorable monster roommate" and instead of making me less feral, that just encouraged me to marry villagers, divorce them, take full custody, then introduce our children to their new monster daddy.
You made me worse, ConcernedApe.
#stardew valley#that's what I do literally every time now#which also means that I no longer marry people I actually like lmao#I already married all the women in various playthroughs in the past#these days I always just marry a man who's irritating me#steal his sperm apparently#then divorce him and introduce his children to their new stepdad#I think I'll probably never do it to harvey or shane#harvey because he doesn't deserve it#shane because I can't stand him so much that I won't let him in my house even to betray#but everyone else is fair game#...I also did this to Penny once lmao rip#she was the last woman that I married and I guess the first one I robbed of her children whoops#I think I was just trying to get the full house achievement and I was like 'eh let's get Penny she wants kids right'#and then when I was done it was like........ okay cool now I'm marrying my actual true love#I have also done it to elliott and sebastian but I like... planned it those times...#sorry I just want to have a happy family with my true love who also happens to be a shadow monster#is that so wrong
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i have just ONE more big thing to do today and then i can fuck around in peace but oh my god it's so annoying .
#i have to answer five questions lmao#it's for the uhh unemployement thing#it's almost like a check-up ig#but the questions are so stupid#“how can we help” there is . nothing you can do?????#“what are your future plans” bro there are just about TWO places you can look at job offers i don't know what else could i do#if employers don't even check the cv's they get then there's really nothing i can do abt it now can i#i know a lot of other ppl are struggling with finding a job too#ppl with degrees btw#and they can't get a job at like a grocery store#bc people have gone mad#and then they bitch and moan about the fact that they don't have workers#right...............................#i hate the idea of taking jobs that are just for a few days#but i think i'm going to have to start taking them just bc#money#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#ngl i am scared abt getting a job overall too#bc it's been so long now#i know the big change is going to fuck me up so badly it's so stupid#i hate it here#mayor of loserville
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Girl help my brain won't brain AGAIN
#i'm trying to figure out some publishing related stuff#but i'm worried that i don't understand it and am not getting it right#and i just. can't think right now#and i know this is weird but i SWEAR it's partially because of the news about maggie smith passing away#obviously i never met her or anything but i still feel weirdly intensely sad about it#i don't know. i just kinda feel like crying kinda wanna hide under a blanket all day#kinda wish i had the capacity to be a functional adult#that sort of thing#probably going on a little walk or something will fix me#but also i just don't want to do anything and at the same time i NEED to do something#because also anxiety my old friend and sitting still does not really help with that#okay venting done#time to do...something else. idk what
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I was thinking to myself recently how wild it would be if this fandom was big enough to do a kinktober. Alas...
#me rambling#or like at least one of those week things for a ship or a specific show#maybe that's more attainable#also i say any of this as if i am a known smut writer when i definitely am not 😂#i would like to be i'm just not confident#but there could be gen options too#it's just funny to me because the source material here is so out there it kinda lends itself to kinks right?#i mean there is canonical mpreg in tyo#eddie is sticking a whole sofa up richie's arse in one of the bottom lives#alan b'stard is a canonical sadist in bed#and out of it too#there's other examples i can't think of now#i also just constantly think about fandom events i'm afraid#idk why my brain is like this i just constantly wanna set up creative events but unfortunately for the nichest things 😂#the rik and ade fest is great but only runs once a year#sometimes we do scumbag secret sanata#but those things both depend on collaboration to a certain extent in that one person is creating for another#which is great!#but what i'm proposing here is free reign to just take a vague prompt and make something for it#fic art edits literally whatever#to be posted here or ao3 or instagram or wherever else#because it could be fun and we could all hype each other up#and sometimes creativity needs a nudge#or just the chance to break from a bigger project for something short#i am waffling a lot i'm sure i'm gonna run out of tags soon but let me know if this appeals to you#even by an anon if you're shy!#this is very vague i'm not even sure what the specific event would be centred around#like should it be for a single show or everything#maybe i will open a discussion? probably not but maybe 😂#rik mayall
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I once read a book where a character who had just one of everything - one fork, one plate, etc. - because he considered more than that just pointless stuff he'd eventually have to move told another that she made him want to have two plates, and that might be the most Dick and Donna vibes I've ever gotten out of anything not actually about Dick and Donna.
Well now I'm thinking about Dick buying two mugs and keeping one for himself and giving the other to Donna as a gift, but Dick's mug eventually burns along with the rest of Dick's apartment during the Blockbuster fiasco, so then after Donna dies and there's a funeral reception at her apartment, Dick finds the twin mug in Donna's kitchen, and he takes it up to the roof with him and cries.
Teen Titans/Outsiders Secret Files
#god that scene is so strong bc everything diana is saying clearly reflects dick's own thoughts and feelings#he feels responsible. he should've protected her. she was his sister. she was his soulmate.#and it KILLS me like nothing else that the other titans are inside talking to each other and remembering donna#but dick is ALONE and he chooses to be alone#and that isolation is so good in the sense that it reflects dick's belief that he shouldn't be on a team. he shouldn't be with family.#he should be alone because if he's alone then he can't be responsible for anyone else dying#and it's like...#after lilith and donna died--tim asked dick what they should do now#and dick swung away from tim and said ''i don't know. but whatever it is--i think we better do it alone.''#and fuuuuck. dc doesn't do a lot of things right but they sure as hell did This right#dick's darker/colder demeanor. his self-isolation. and all of it pointing toward lilith and donna's deaths#they made sure we knew that he was like this because of that one terrible day and it makes me insaneee#Dick Grayson#Donna Troy#the bestiiiies#anon
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google search history:
how do you tell if it's fibromyalgia again, can you die of muscle pain, ms, als, heart attack in women, trapezius pain, why can't I lift my arms, how long does a fibro flare last, how do I stop hurting everywhere, things that aren't drugs that clear your brain fog, what to do when your hands hurt, joint pain that isn't arthritis, ginger health benefits, ginger inflammation, what to do when painkillers don't work, how to sue god
#fuck you up disease (fibromyalgia)#I think the worst part about fibro is that there's very little non-clinical info#readily available#not many people talk about it and if they do it's with like a suicide disclaimer#so what we have is this really bare bones medical nonsense we get from google#that makes it sound like fibro is just feeling a little tired and achy sometimes#and on the other end of the spectrum the hellscapes of personal anecdotes#from people who have 10 000 chronic diseases and pain so bad they take morphine#and you're there like. which one is it. clearly what we have is not fibro since#it's neither nothing (I can't get out of bed) nor unbearable kill me perpetually hospitalised levels of suffering#like. do I want morphine? yes#do I absolutely need morphine right now? probably not honestly.#I'm not suicidal I just want to not be afraid of making food#in case getting up and moving will have us in so much pain again that we get in our head about it#like no we're not dying. people don't just randomly get stage 4 cancer after going out in cold weather.#that's not how terminal illness works#but with the brain fog we have no inner comms and with no inner comms we have no memory#and with severe amnesia life is only what life is now and nothing else exists#there is only this moment and this moment#this moment lads#it hurts so fucking bad#shoutout to all the comments recently who've been like wow you write Caracalla's POV so believably#friend it's because chronic pain is chronic pain and when your brain does not fucking work the world gets weird#but weirdly it's like. that makes this almost feel like there's a point to hurting like this.#like I may be going through the school of suffering day in and day out right now but#just as a reminder - it makes it easier to understand others who do.#being the punching bag of the sad and infernal gods keeps us humble in this house#and allows us to write VERY WEIRD FICTION
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i saw other steven universe aus for mob psycho and felt inspired to make my own
#mob psycho 100#mp100#tome kurata#kurata tome#arataka reigen#reigen arataka#kageyama shigeo#shigeo kageyama#tagged bc they ARE there in a way technically#kageyama ritsu#ritsu kageyama#he is technically now sodalite tho#pietersite#mp100 su au#id in alt text#doodles#yall listen pietersite is basically what started this au#like the idea of him being a fusion between 2 gems who refuse to unfuse for separate reasons (not romantic) bc theyre using the other to be#someone else that theyre not. to be more than just a common gem or to keep themselves in control bc they think of themself as a bad gem#who can't be trusted unless theres someone else. NEITHER of them wants to be themself on their own and i just OUGH#pietersite is just a combo of two ppl/gems w issues that they refuse to address bc being someone else is easier than working on yourself#also tome is here bc an au where most of the cast end up being aliens doesnt feel right w/o our resident weirdgirl whos obsessed w aliens#i plan to draw more for this feel free to send asks!!#btw DO NOT TAG AS R*IMOB PLS
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what are all the characters that you’re simping for ?
thank you for asking anon.... have a moodboard of the characters that have been rotating in the microwave of my brain recently. feel free to judge as you see fit. ignore the topknot guy he lives here
#can't think of anyone else so just add aki a bunch of times 😭😭😭#he is the MAIN brain worm after all#I'm super into baldurs gate / sakamoto days / arcane right now..... huuuu....#ever since I heard arcane was coming back I'm thinking so much of my lol oc again#and playing a lot of league#don't. do that btw#save urself while you still can#don't fall into the devils temptation#also sakamoto days is really good right now everyone should read it#it'll get an anime soon guys I swear#I can't tell if I have a type or not this assortment seems so random LMAO#but thank you for asking '!!!!#for some reason I'm shy to share what other characters I'm into when it isn't aki.... ha........#I want to talk about more characters too#ask mags
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i really gotta get better about listening to my own brain and needs when i'm making things. i've been working on a video and i'm almost finished (yippee!!), but drawing this One Specific Frame was giving me trouble. i could have just brute-forced my way through it and finalized the initial sketch, since it was relatively good enough. but instead i left it and took a day off from working on the project, let myself recharge, and came back to the sketch with fresh eyes today. and what do you know, my redrawn sketch today is WAY better! now, i can finalize that frame and be genuinely proud of it, instead of just powering through on something i was less than happy with.
i hadn't done any other art stuff that day when i couldn't get my sketches to look right, so letting myself stop and have a break from the project felt sort of "unearned" i guess. but it's just. what i needed! and the break did what i needed it to do; i was able to come back later and make something i could be proud of.
anyway i guess this is me saying that, if you're like me and have this weird morality-complex about letting yourself rest, it's ok to take breaks, even if you feel like you haven't "earned" one yet :)
#rye.txt#growing up i got very accustomed to ignoring my own needs and just 'powering through' when i wanted/needed to get something done#which worked out relatively ok for me in school (banging my head against a wall until my brain absorbed information leading to exhaustion)#but now that im doing work that is ostensibly for my own enjoyment#i have a hard time divorcing myself from that mindset#i feel guilty if im not constantly working#which is. not great! so im trying to unlearn that#trying to let myself think 'ok my brain isn't brain-ing right now. so i should stop and rest/do something else'#my actual job is Very Emotionally Draining so sometimes i just. can't find the energy to work on my art#which sucks!! cause i love making art!! and then i think to myself 'maybe making art will make you feel better'#but then when i try it's like scraping the bottom of a dry well. trying to find water#when what i need to do is rest and let the water well up from the ground itself#but resting is HARD when you tie your self-worth to how much you can work#ough ok this got a little vent-y sorry guys#I don't want to let myself fall into the 'content creation' mindset. cause I don't think i make 'content' i make ART#and art isn't something you can just pump out mindlessly#good art. art that i can be PROUD of. that takes time and intent and energy. and I can't make that if im just scraping the bottom of a well#vent in tags#this whole post is just 'riley vs the concept that taking breaks is a moral failing'
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.
#strongly considering taking a gap year off school.#I discovered during orientation that my program is waaaay more intense than they let on during the application process#for instance unpaid fieldwork during the final semester or two that literally does not allow you to work even part time#I cannot afford this. I am trying to move out while making minimum wage and paying for school.#so taking a step back from courses to reevaluate and work and save seems like the correct move#but I haven't quite hit send on that email yet so prayers appreciated#I've been thinking about this all week and praying. don't want to rush into a bad decision but I really don't see what else to do#also please pray for a good living situation#I am possibly looking at a room in a house later this week#really need to move out ASAP and so I can't afford to be picky at all#but again I don't want to rush into a bad situation#so yeah lots of prayers appreciated!#feeling very low about all these circumstances at the moment but also trying to remember that this might end up being better than the plan#I had originally#maybe it'll be exciting to move out before I feel ready! but right now it's just scary.#college chronicles#diary
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i am forced to give my guitar to my cousin ONCE & he 1. loses my fav plectrum (it's in the guitar hole 🤬🤬🤬) 2. jams my plectrum holder and 3. snaps a cord located inside the guitar hole ???? it's just dangling outside idk im gonna bash his face in the next time he comes over
#he was literally begging me all day to let him play my guitar and he can't even play it right !!!! like just stick to the melodica my dude#and he lied to me about losing my pick he was like “oh I put it in the pick holder i SWEAR” but when I called his dad (my uncle) he texted#me like “no wait i think it could have sLiPpEd oUt 🥺🥺🥺” like YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE IS GONNA SLIP OUT.#MY CHAPPAL.#and then he sort of confesses that it MIGHT'VE fallen into the guitar hole. like. I'M NEVER GONNA GET IT BACK BROTHER#and then !!!!! my plectrum holder just. stopped working. like it jammed. i can't take any of my picks outta there#i just KNOW he fiddled w/ it but he's lying every step of the way so im too pissed @ him to have a civil convo w/ him abt it#and now !!!!! once my mom came home she reached into the guitar hole & stared at smth for 5 mins & went.#“what's this” & when i looked up it was !!! a goddamn snapped wire/cord !!!!!#WHAT WAS HE DOING W/ MY BELOVED GUITAR !!!!! THE LOVE OF MY LIFE !!!!!!!!!!#i hate him i hate him so much !!!!!!!! he took advantage of me leaving for my tuition to fucking demolish my guitar#the next time he comes over in june i swear if im not on the news for fratricide .#i should rly start a tag called hashtag mrinalphobic 2025 because guess what this year's already been like 😃#মৃণাল#mrinalphobic 2025
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In my imagination of red and leaf being twins and both autistic I think the only reason leaf doesn't have the same totally blank 😐 face as red is because she did the age old classic of practicing facial expressions in the mirror every day until she learned the basic ones. She also made her default expression a smile 🙂 to seem more approachable.
Unfortunately since the expressions don't come naturally to her and she had to learn them, the can come off as exaggerated/overly dramatic. Which is fine for some people but others find it equally as off-putting as reds poker face. It makes her a little sad when people dislike her because of it bc shes doing her best to fit in but can't seem to get it right.
She puts a lot of effort into masking at least when she's a kid-teenager but once she's older and has made more solid friendships she can let herself relax and not need to stress about it so much, although in social situations she may still slip back into old habits.
Red does not mask and never really has. I choose 2 believe his mom was really supportive and accommodating so he wasn't forced to hide his autistic traits unlike leaf. This is because in my au they are twins but their parents split and leaf had to stay with their dad. Who is not as understanding as their mom.
Idk if he'd be actually horrible to her but he was not as patient or understanding as their mom + leaf also just craved more friends and wanted to be able to socialize more so she eventually learned how. Red is content with the 4 people he knows (mom, oak, daisy, green) and prefered to mostly be alone so he didn't have that motivating factor to do it.
He was very content with having one friend, green, but he was def lonley during their "rival" phase when green stopped hanging out with him and was focused on trying to prove himself in some way only he understood or worried about. Along with that is green also being the master of masking for the most part. I don't see oak as being particularly accommodating and patient with him so while Daisy probably was, she's also not a parent so she couldn't be responsible for caring for green the way oak should've been.
As they got older green also craved to be seen as cool and popular amongst his peers so he started masking heavily and also distanced himself from red. Unfortunately he realizes that being accepted for a fake version of himself by mainly strangers is actually very lonley and he misses their friendship 😢 but atp he probably figures red wouldn't wanna be friends again bc of how green ignored him for so long so I think they don't become close again until After the gym challenge "rivalry"/red dissapearing/reuniting years later. So they were both missing each other a lot but both felt unable to reach out bc of the distance that grew between them when green pulled away. Anyways tldr green pro masker leaf trying very hard to mask but struggling a bit and red rawdogging his autism never masked a day in his life.
#green is better at masking in the sense that he doesnt struggle with facial expressions and can mimick others social behaviours pretty well#he really learned via watching others and practicing fake conversations in his head until he could navigate most conversations well#he does still have times where he did not account for certain factors or new situations so he has to observe and learn some more lol#leaf struggles with socializing even when she watches and tries to copy bc unlike green who is naturally a bit dramatic and animated#she instead leans heavily into having flat affect like red. she also struggles really hard with picking up on other ppls intent/feelings#the type of person who isnt sure what the emotion were feeling right now is bc she also struggles to identify her own feelings sometimes#red does that too. part of why hes very avoidant and internalizes everything is that he often can't identify exactly what hes feeling#and if he can he doesn't know how to make it feel better/would rather ignore it and try to focus on something else#green tries to internalize his negative emotions but i think hed struggle with it so he js def the type to bottle things up for awhile#but he quickly gets overwhelemed and ends up having a bit of a meltdown when he can't hold it in any more#hes very reactive. part of why his and oaks relationship is difficult to mend is bc green gets very easily triggered by any small jabs oak#makes at him even jf theyre unintentional especially if he compares him/his strength as a trainer to red#when red dissapears it would get worse bc he is constantly weighed down by guilt and can end up lashing out a bit#especially with his bpd making him prone to mood swings/very strong emotions he struggles to process#he gets better at it as he gets older but it's really overwhelming and difficult as a kid/teen bc oak is 0 help and daisy#does what she can to hell him when she can but shes his sister not his mom. im not making her take on a parental role she is also a kid#anyways. thjs js ungodly long#trainer red#trainer leaf#green oak#blue oak#pokemon headcanons
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