#can't stress enough that im in my 30s

[mistersusans]

.

[verysium]

PLEASE DO BLUE LOCK ICKS IM BEGGING🙏😭🌹

😏 coming right up anon. gonna channel my inner critic and not hold back on any of these.

RIN

brother complex. not much else to say except that he needs to get a life. not everything is about metaphorically crushing your older brother's dreams and brooding in the dark hate of retribution.

competitive but only because he is a desperate whore for external validation. ignores everyone but craves the attention of a sole person named sae itoshi. was defeated by isagi once and has never let go of it since. has a one-track mind that is impossible to derail. stubborn when he wants to be.

probably a virgin and will continue to be one until his late 30s.

has not known a single day of peace ever since sae ditched him for the popular girlies. as a result, he has developed a very concerning case of social awkwardness. his idea of a conversation involves a brick wall and thirty minutes of you staring at his resting bitch face. constantly looks like that one grumpy cat meme. judges you for your poor decisions but then gets aggressively defensive when you point out his own mistakes.

reeks of so much teen angst that even metallica can't save him. the problem is that he has nothing to back up his emo persona. his insults lack creativity and, unfortunately for him, phrases like "lukewarm" and "half-baked" and "hell" do not make his words carry more weight. uses the f-word but in the most embarrassing context that it makes you facepalm and internally cringe.

SAE

zero social awareness. this boy's head is empty. the lights are not on up there. there are no picture frames or furniture. the curtains are drawn, and there is not a sliver of clouds or sunshine. cannot read body language and does not know what a filter is.

the source of all of rin's stress. he is the original trauma projector, creator of generational cycles. not even subtle about it. "turns out i was wrong. i thought japan was incapable of ever giving birth to decent forwards." sir....with the way you worded that, you knew exactly what you were doing when you gave rin false hope.

swears but it's even worse than his brother. literally called his elders a "fatso and bob cut duo" and "insect turd." i mean....there is a line between what is considered a legitimate burn and what is a first grader making up insults in his coloring book.

has a horrible haircut and no fashion taste. i already talked about this previously, but it was so bad it deserved a second mention.

a freak but tries to justify it rationally. like what do you mean you can tell a person's athletic ability from their buttock size? just admit you have a kinky fetish already.

somewhat of a coward but i'm gonna give him some leniency due to his tragic child genius backstory. tbh he's just an eighteen-year-old boy who needs a goddamn break.

KAISER

alexa please play clown music. this man sets himself for failure and then wallows in self-pity when he actually fails. like what did you expect? you knew what was going to happen the moment you challenged isagi like that. it was most definitely your fault you got violently humbled.

has a borderline god complex (currently calls himself an emperor but has not evolved into a deity yet.) unfortunately, he does not stand on business. cue the dramatic meltdowns when he realizes there is an actual gap between his ability and his reputation. if you're going to lie, at least make it believable.

insecure and mentally unstable. he probably cuts and re-dyes his hair every single time shit happens. no wonder his locks get shorter every time.

lazy when it comes to anything that is not football and expects others to do it for him. demands princess treatment wherever he goes. unfortunately, not all of us have servants with no self-respect like ness.

"it is not enough that i should succeed, others should fail" type of person.

does not wear shoes and even if he does, it's sandals. put them grippers away.

NAGI

a literal sloth who has so much potential but uses none of it. has no intrinsic motivation of his own, so if he's going to do anything, it has to be you behind the wheel, making sure he gets put to work.

does not have a close relationship with his parents, and so he has no sense of community, holidays, or traditions. no fun at all if you want him to do things like christmas shopping or birthday celebrations.

rots in bed all day and then has to nerve to ask you to carry him around. your back better be strong because his 190 cm body is not going to be light.

not loyal (need i say more.)

REO

second male lead syndrome. also known as that one popular guy who's always picked last.

acts like a victim but then when you realistically tell him to how to change his situation he refuses to do so. you cannot ask for advice and then take none of it to heart. no wonder you're still not over your ex.

"i can fix him" mentality. no, you can't. you are a seventeen-year-old child, not a licensed therapist and nagi isn't even all that.

NESS

touch-starved to the point he will stay in a toxic and abusive relationship in order to gain some scrap of affection. just because you were the black sheep of your family does not mean you can lose all sense of personal dignity.

probably stalks all the people he hates. has a burn book like regina george from mean girls. cuts out and glues little pictures of kaiser all over his bedroom. doodles hearts all over it with glittery gel pen. isagi's face and name are scratched out of every team photo.

delusional and prone to mood swings. medicated but at this point, he is beyond saving.

ISAGI

a home wrecker. has ruined more relationships than he can count on ten fingers yet still manages to smile like he's some angelic saint.

solves jigsaw puzzles for a living (not very cool if you ask me.)

has some unresolved anger management issues. probably repressed all his negative feelings when he was younger, so it all comes out when he's on the field. unfortunately, his twilight-sparkle-friendship-is-magic agenda is not going to work if he keeps cussing out his teammates like that. but then again, he is the main character, so i guess his plot armor makes up for his pitfalls.

says that he's a good guy but then holds personal vendettas against rivals he doesn't like. boy was so ready to throw hands when #kaisagi was trending on the internet. but when you actually think about, he's similar to kaiser in more ways than he'd like to admit.

BAROU

has the worst case of high and mighty "holier-than-thou" attitude. isagi put his ego in check, but it still peeks out from time to time.

he was the ugliest baby when he was born. i am not going to hold back on the child barou slander because it is true. no, he was not a cute and lovable bundle of joy. he looked like a demonic gremlin.

he needs to take more risks in life and try cross-dressing. simply imagining him in a maid uniform will not suffice. it needs to be made into a reality.

with how nit-picky he is, i doubt people can realistically stay within a 1-meter radius around him. unless you are a clean freak yourself, his constant complaints will start to get annoying after a time. even if he does have good intentions, he needs to let people have a little breathing room sometimes. a messy room is not going to kill you.

BACHIRA

this boy's brain is smooth. no folds. no gray matter. no intelligence either. his pencil and eraser have been left untouched since day one. if he wasn't crazily good at football, he would be unemployed and homeless in the future. not even a mcdonald's wants him.

one of those people who will do the literal opposite of whatever you say. you want him to stop talking? well, now he's never going to shut up. you tell him not to step on a pile of dog shit? well, now he's going to walk right into it. you want him to quit running around and act normal? well, now it's his life's mission to make you as annoyed as possible. please pray for your hair follicles because at the end of the day, you're not going to have many left with how much he makes you want to tear your hair out.

has the cerebral capacity of a toddler. if he thinks monsters are real, he's going to think anything is real. super gullible when it comes to any form of scam, ploy, or trickery. the only way he would not be fooled is if he's also played the same prank before.

SHIDOU

a brazen pervert. says the most out-of-pocket things and refuses to apologize for them. sometimes it comes out a little too sleazy for your liking.

"to me a goal is fertilization! a shot is the seed and the goal is the egg!! and the birth of that joy i call an explosion!! my genes are gonna knock you up!" let us give ourselves a moment of silence to digest this quote. only shidou ryusei would come up with a sperm and egg metaphor to describe football. (i guess protection means nothing to him.)

has no empathy. if you dislike him or cannot keep up with him, you're a literal nobody in his books. no sportsmanship. no compassion. no self-awareness.

you cannot say "balls" to him in a serious tone without him misinterpreting it as something dirty. that alone should tell you enough. stay the hell away from him.

where do men get the audacity? right here. from this little bastard. he invented the term "shameless slut." boy was getting off during the u-20 arc and on live TV too. no wonder sae said he was disgusting.

and finally, he comes from a long line of cockroaches. he's even got the antennae to prove it.

i think this might have been a little excessive, but i have no regrets about it. you're welcome anon ♡

[rwrbficrecs]

Thanks for all the love on the recent Readers' Choice list ✨ The May faves are a little late but hope you all enjoy these recs 💕

you turned a moment (into forever) by viciouslyqueer (book-verse)

@suseagull04: Think of the fluffiest bedsharing fic you've ever read and combine it with a college roommates AU, and you have this fic! I can't stress enough just how soft this fic is, this is the perfect fic for if you need a quick pick-me-up!

running through my mind all day by allthelovesaved (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Henry rarely, if ever, jogs. It's not something that interests him. That is until he stumbles upon Alex's TikTok profile (thanks, Pez!!). Alex, a passionate runner, shares his knowledge in a captivating way. Coincidentally, he's also the brother of Henry's colleague June, who convinces him to join their "group running thing"... This sweet, sweet story is fluffy and funny, very soft and a little silly (says the author), and it just made me very, very happy.

Wit and Wisdom by @pridepages (book-verse)

@heysweetheart-writes: A window into the future of "Little Matters" my absolute favorite story. Im so in love with this family and happy to see the woman Cat has become and how much of Alex she carries with her. I cried and laughed and EJ left me wanting more of them as usual. If you haven't read Little Matters yet, what are you doing with your life?? Haha

hymns down your sides by @smc-27 (book-verse)

@na-dineee: One of my favourite authors delivers yet again! Henry, a refined boyband veteran in his mid-30s, meets wild, lately kind of self-destructive boyband star Alex. Henry can't probably save him, but maybe he can give him a push in the right direction? This story put me through the emotional wringer. So many feelings, so much hurt, and the chemistry - absolutely gripping!

the poem you make of me by @omgcmere (book-verse)

@suseagull04: The riches found within this fic know no bounds! It's a writer Henry AU that maintains a lot of the same themes as the book (which it coveys just as well), but it adds another layer of heart with the fact that in this verse, Henry is not just a writer, but a poet.

Savasana by @iboatedhere (book-verse)

@na-dineee: Lawyer Alex has hit a low point in his career. The situation is absolutely not pretty, and understandably, Alex is skeptical about whether yoga can fix it, as June suggests. Can yoga instructor Henry straighten things out for Alex? - Alex pulls one Alex after another - it gave me whiplash in the best possible way! The story is very touching and sweet, also absolutely hilarious at the same time !! So fun to read !!

Henry Fox, All-American Hero by @tintagel-or-cockleshells (book-verse)

@suseagull04: This is an AU of a book I loved in middle school, so not only did it give me so much nostalgia, but it has all the quirkiness of RWRB too! Alex in this is so mischievous and sweet, and I love it!

A Wretched Beginning by @royalasstronaut (book-verse)

@dot524: This was a fun romp — forbidden relationship, college/academic AU, tension and angst, and loads of longing. Henry is Alex’s TA and um… things happen. Oh, and they may also be connected in other mysterious ways.

Pleasant Melody by @clottedcreamfudge (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Love at first sight that feels magical in otherworldly way is one of my favourite kinds of love stories. And this fic is a spectacular example! Henry is a pirate, Alex is a very special siren, they shouldn't make sense but they do. The longing is excellent and I would gladly read ten more fics based on the same concept.

Meant to Be Yours by @affectionatelyrs & @happiness-of-the-pursuit (book-verse)

@zwiazdziarka: Definitely one of the most unhinged fics I've read in this fandom. (Warning: proceed with caution!) Alex loves Henry, Henry doesn't know Alex exists. Alex's dream is of course to meet Henry and his attempts to do so are... worrying. Second-hand embarrassment hits hard, highly recommend!

check out our past Monthly Faves here ❤️

[winryrockbellwannabe]

🍃 Trying to get out of a rut 🍃

new semester, new me, am i right?

last semester I realized i was getting super overworked and i wasn't getting enough rest to make up for it, even tho I was sleeping 8 hours everynight and doing the routine that usually works better for me. But i didn't work bc of the amount of stress I was in, and now that routine does not work for me at all. So, even tho i was scared to change a routine that i knew i liked, i decided to change everything. but EVERYTHING

set a decent sleep schedule. Even tho i was sleeping 8 hours everynight, those 8 hours could be from 2am to 10am or 10pm to 6am, it was a mess. So now, im trying to roughly wake up and go to bed at the same time everyday

I also changed my breakfast. Even tho it's my comfort food, it started to work too well, and now it makes me fall right back to bed with my comfort movie. So that had to change. And now my new breakfast takes a while to prepare, so i use that time to drink water and clean up around the kitchen while breakfast is getting ready.

Mandatory rest time. But like, intentional rest time. 30 min before going to sleep, i'll try to do something that makes me feel more rested. Hopefully no screens, but i can't be that strict with myself. Most days I'll just put on some soft music and prepare the next day's outfit etc, but on good days i also manage to read for a bit.

change my usual study places. Ideally change it as often as possible. Im too used to my old study places, so now I can't be as productive there.

new study playlists. i went throught too many playlists while in college. Sometimes I would study while listening to musicals, then asmr, then disney instrumentals, then brown noise. It's important for me to choose the "vibe" im going for asap, so i stay somewhat consistent until im bored of that especific playlist again.

did I already post multiple times similar things? Yes, i did. But i needed to write and post this all over again bc i tend to forget about my own routines

[fangisms]

due november

A/N: was feeling particularly soft and magical this september afternoon, so im here to feed the beasts (with love) gif creds: @osvaldrps-archived

Pairings: Husband!Neville Longbottom x Pregnant!Fem!Reader

Summary: Your family of nearly three share a moment in the living room. 0.8k words

Warnings: set when both are ~20s-30s, pregnancy, established relationship, dorky dad neville, fluff, smutty intentions but only jokes

It's all got Neville worried down to the bone. The weight of being a good husband was heavy enough without the impending uncertainty of fatherhood. Which is not to say he isn't a good husband or that he wouldn't be a good father, but the stress of it can be crippling for the nervous wreck that he is.

Though, his shakiness is ever soothed by the way you hold the back of his head when you kiss him, the way you clean his glasses of dirt smudges, the way you catch his eye in your sweetly flowing skirts, dresses, and blouses. Daintily, he'd say, very prettily.

"They're like house pets at this point," you remark, tip-toeing over the vines weaving between the slats of your hardwood flooring. Throughout the kitchen, greenery creeps in through open windows, finding home in doorframes and across the ceiling. They can't help it. The September chill is getting to everybody.

"I just can't bring myself to trim them!" he chirps, catching your waist when you trip into his side, belly protruding against your floral house dress. "On second thought—"

"No, no, Nev! I like it. I like them. It's free interior design."

"Damn weeds. It's a free death sentence."

"You're just a pessimist!" you tease.

As open to ogling as you always seem to be, he hates that you can still make him blush after all these years. Even with duckfoot ivy weaving its way through your shared home and baby names listed on the chalkboard by the door, he's still blushing when you so much as look at him.

And right now, you're looking at your horticulturist's dirt-smudged under shirt exposed beneath his striped button down. Which also happens to be smudged with dirt.

He clears his throat.

"Nervous, my dear?" you tease when he diverts his gaze from down your neckline.

"Hmm? Oh, no, not at all"—his voice falters, and he tries to focus back on the delicate clay pot in his hands—"Craving anything for lunch?"

"Nothing much," you sigh, "maybe a bite of my husband."

He blinks, eyes wide open but blank like the dial tone is just ringing through his skull. He places the empty pot gently in the sink basin, moving both damp hands to your waist with that doe-eyed look.

"You've already got one in there, lovebug, we can't go around trying for another now, can we," he says. You toss your head back with laughter, and he watches you in annoyed amazement. Since when were you impervious to his awkward charm. "Come on, lunch. Anything you want."

He cups his hands together around your lower back, letting out a soft breath when you push his hair out of his face and thumb the dirt from his brow.

"Let's see... couple of ice lollies? Sounds good, dunnit?"

"Well-rounded, definitely," he says, patting your bum with a chuckle. "I'll make some sandwiches. And I've got time for a walk after."

"You'll spoil me rotten, Mr Longbottom!"

"Watch it, or you're getting triplets."

"Oh, you're nasty, Mr Longbottom," you tease, holding his chin and leaning in for a kiss. He spins you round and pats you towards the living area.

You hurdle a couple of roots and make it halfway to the hand-me-down chaise lounge in the corner when you feel a sharp twitch.

"Christ," you yelp, grabbing the arm of the chair with a hiss, slightly bent at the waist and taking a deep breath.

"Baby? What's going on?"

"She's kicking again!" Your palm is splayed across your rounded belly as you practice deep, circular breathing. There's a harsh clammer from the kitchen. Then silence.

Then he appears in the opening, hair flopping down over his forehead, brows furrowed, towel flung over his shoulder, so still you'd think he saw his old, cranky professor.

"...She?" he huffs, pushing a hand through his hair.

"Oh. Oh, Nev, I—" You cup your palm over your mouth with a sharp breath in. "You wanted it to be a surprise. I'm so sorry."

But a smile makes its way across his lips, pulling and tugging at the soft pink as he shuffles closer. Two strong hands meet yours on the curve of your belly, welcoming another jolt. One reaches for the back of your neck, and he leans in to kiss your worried forehead.

"We're having a baby girl?"

You nod, tears welling in your eyes when he tilts your chin up to peck your wobbly bottom lip. You feel the stubbly skin of his cheek with the pad of your thumb and let him kiss you once more.

"I was so restless, I had to know," you huff, "I'm such a spoilsport! You were so excited, Nev!"

"I know. And you're not a spoilsport. I'm still excited, know why?"

"Why?" you say, wiping your nose and pouting at him. He grins.

"Because she's ours."

masterlist

[doumadono]

EMERGENCY REQUEST

So I love your stuff and ofc take your time. Im really sorry to inconvenience you with this request but I'm just very stressed.

I recently moved into a new house with my family and we have been slowly moving things in for months. Apparently the landlord left the door unlocked after he came in to make some final repairs and someone broke in and stole some stuff. Nothing huge, some tools, a toaster oven, drill bits. We didn't think they stole anything else and my family didn't see a reason to make a report till I started looking for one of my boxes I moved previously and it was gone. It had all my cross country stuff in it and I know it's not important to anyone else but CC is my LIFE. I've been running for almost 5 years So all my medals, plaques, times, banners, numbers, memorabilia from courses are gone. And I don't know what anyone would want with any of it. None of it was worth any kind of money but all of it means so much to me emotionally. I SUCKED my first year and it took so much effort to EARN everything. I'm scared they are gonna start melting down my metals or try to pawn them. I know it sounds vain and maybe it is but I was so proud of everything I've accomplished in cross country. I had a mental break down for about 30 mins to an hour and idk what to do. CC helped motivate me to recover from my Annorexia and one of those metals I won right after I got out of the hospital. Im 4'10 (I am a senior in highschool) Im already at a disadvantage considering my legs are half the size of everyone else's. I had to work so hard to be where I am now and all my reward for my work it's just gone because someone was bored? Wanted to make some extra cash?

Do you think If/when you have time you could write MHA comforting someone who's going through this? Maybe Shoji or Amajiki? Or whoever you want and think would fit. Im sorry again I know it's vain to want all of it back but it just meant so much to me.

Shoji & Amajiki with a friend who lost their CC stuff

EMERGENCY REQS MASTERLIST

Shoji

Shoji, noticing your distress, approaches quietly, acknowledging the pain without pressing for words.

With his calm demeanor, he approaches the friend, his extra limbs extending to offer a gentle, reassuring touch.

He speaks gently, "I heard what happened. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you. Take your time, but if you want to talk, I'm here."

Shoji respects your initial silence, patiently waiting for you to open up when you're ready.

He remarks, "Your achievements in cross country are a part of who you are. Losing them is like losing a piece of yourself, I bet but you still have the memories."

Shoji invites the friend to a quiet spot in the school, away from prying eyes, where they can share their feelings without judgment. "Sometimes, finding solace in silence can be more comforting than words."

Shoji suggests, "Let's work on a plan together. We'll search for your items and, if needed, involve our friends for more support. Even if the physical items are gone, your achievements and the strength you gained through cross country remain."

Amajiki

Amajiki cautiously approaches, "I heard about what happened. It's okay if you don't want to talk, but I'm here for you."

Amajiki silently sits with you, understanding that words may not be enough to express the depth of your pain.

He softly says, "Your achievements are not just medals. They're a reflection of your strength and resilience. No one can take that away."

Amajiki's gentle demeanor encourages the distressed friend to open up slowly, sharing the pain and memories associated with the lost stuff.

Amajiki softly suggests involving the authorities, realizing the emotional value of the stolen items. "I think it's important to let the authorities know. They might be able to help recover your belongings, and it's okay to ask for help."

Amajiki spends quiet moments with the distressed friend, acknowledging that sometimes, silent companionship speaks louder than words.

[literaila]

a virus 

tasm!peter x fem!reader 

summary: 

“did you try turning it off and then back on?” 

“three times.” 

warnings: peter is an asshole, reader is an asshole (a great paring i assure you)

a/n: this was a work in progress. and now it is out on the internet. because i need storage and you need some of my sarcastic comments 

*

in all fairness, you were a little bit stressed. 

and by a little bit stressed—depending on a paper for 30% of your grade without any internet. 

or a computer that worked. 

and of course, the lack of any manners. 

"did you try turning it off and then back on?" 

if you were going to try anything it would be banging your head against your desk until you properly erased any record of your existence.

"three times." 

the man--who by the way, left you on hold for five minutes--hums. "what'd you say you were doing?" 

"trying to write a research paper." 

"on sketchy websites?" 

you take a deep breath. you try and avoid yelling at this man through the microphone. “from a bunch of google approved websites,” you say, voice tight. “what can i do to get it working?” 

“it sounds like you have a virus.” 

“great," you drawl because this conclusion had not occurred to you. "what do i do?” 

the man is silent for about thirty seconds, and then: 

“i can get you an appointment to bring your computer in sometime in the next week.” 

“what can i do to get it working tonight?” 

there’s a quick huff of air. “do you know how to code?” 

“are you serious?” 

“that was rhetorical.” 

if this man didn’t sound completely nonchalant, about the age of a fifty-year-old—meaning your age—and had any more attitude than he does, you would hang up. 

if your paper wasn’t due tomorrow, you would hang up. 

“i need my computer tonight.” 

“you could try walmart.”

“aren’t you supposed to be helpful?” 

the man laughs like this is funny. “sorry, i’m a bit out of practice. most people don't click on the link a random ‘banker’ sends them.” 

“i didn’t click on anything.” 

“you have a virus.”

“i’m really bad with computers. i’m pretty sure i’m incapable of clicking anything.” 

“apparently not.” 

“can't you do anything? you’re smart.” 

“you assume that because i got this job that i’m smart?” 

“okay. you’re supposed to know what to do.” 

“i could fix it,” this man says, “if i was there.” 

he also hates you.

“okay, great. just tell me what to do.” 

“i already asked if you knew how to code…” 

you groan and fall over in your seat. 

he laughs again. “you could ask for an extension.” 

“an extension,” you repeat because you obviously haven't thought of that. 

you obviously don’t know what the hell you’re talking about. 

“for whatever you’re working on.” 

“because that’s how life works. are you going to ask for an extension to fix my computer?” 

“im just saying.” 

“no. i already got the extension.” 

“you already got the extension?”

this man thinks you’re an idiot. 

he’s also got a very nice voice. 

“there were some… personal problems. my professor was nice enough to make an exception.” 

“but not nice enough to do it twice?” 

“it feels wrong to ask.” 

“did it feel wrong to put it off until tonight?” 

you pause. looking for an argument that isn’t there. “you need to work on your customer service.” 

he laughs. “so i’ve been told.” 

and you stop. 

you think about all of the possible solutions to this problem. 

and the man who you have subjected to your irresponsibility. 

“i’m sorry,” you whisper, knowing that he can hear. “i’m being rude. i’m just stressed.” 

“it’s okay. you’d be surprised how many people yell at me each night.”

“i don’t think i would." 

he laughs. his voice is smooth and warm. a bed to fall into and sleep until eternity. “what’re you working on, again?“

“a research paper.” 

“is it done? are you just editing? because there are libraries open all night.” 

“no. i thought it was, but there’s a… it doesn’t matter. and it's cold.” 

“you have more research to do?” 

“yeah.”

“is it a lot?” 

“no,” you say. “not really.” 

there’s a brief pause. 

he might’ve hung up already. 

but then the man whispers, “okay.”

you wait. 

“what should i look up?”

*

"wikipedia." 

"just click on it." 

"this is how you got the virus." 

you sigh again, fingers tapping restlessly on your desk. 

you've been sitting here for the past twenty minutes, waiting for this boy to listen to you. 

he hasn't, of course. it turns out that you both share the lack of social ability. because you can't seem to be nice to him, and in return, he understands none of this. 

but he's pleasent enough. he laughs at your absurdity instead of mocking it. 

and you've already thanked him more than once. 

"i wouldn't have a virus if someone was better at his job--" 

"--that's a strange thing to say to someone helping you--" 

"now, will you just read me the quote?" 

"you're stressed about a research paper in which you're using wikipedia as one of your sources?" 

"i'm stressed about failing out of college." 

"that's not really how it works," the boy says because he's infuriating. 

but also nice. because he's been sitting here arguing with you and still hasn't hung up. 

even when you threatened to steal his computer. 

nonetheless. 

"i know how it works. what does it say?" 

"it says 'find another source.'" 

you are silent. you type a million curse words into the text on your phone. swear to whatever god is laughing at you right now that you will get them back. 

swear that you're going to go to bed right now and face the actual consequences of procrastination. 

or you'll fake your death. either way. 

"i'm not going to help you bomb an essay," the boy scoffs. "i'm gonna go look at the websites linked." 

"or you could just do what i say." 

"who's the one with the computer here?" 

"...what does it say?" 

*

"i disagree." 

"you disagree on the undeniable brilliance of footloose?" 

you spin around in your chair, smile slightly unnerving. "i disagree that you have good opinions." 

"says she who has broken her computer." 

this boy has a warm voice. he has a slightly teasing tone, even when he's attempting to be serious. and in the short time that you've known him, you've already picked up on the sardonic voice. different from his sarcasm. 

"the internet broke my computer." 

"the internet is a very noble place. it would never. now, scammers on the other hand..." 

"i understood about three percent of what you just said." 

he laughs, microphone muffled as something moves in the background. "okay, so you hate good movies. noted. what do you think about good tv shows?" 

"like what?" 

"um," he pauses. "friends." 

"i really hope you didn't just say that to me." 

"there's a reason that it's popular." 

"that reason would be conventional attractiveness combined with stupidity." 

"or that it's really good." 

"you know, i know a really good doctor. he can help you." 

any research paper that you may or may not have almost finished is forgotten. 

instead, you've been talking to this boy--the boy who refused to help you fix your computer and instead has monopolized this conversation completely--for the last hour. 

about movies and school and winter break. leaving and never coming back. 

anything, really. 

he is surprisingly easy to talk to. easy to laugh at. 

and, of course, you're completely delirious because it's four am and you have a paper due in the morning. but, at this current moment, it doesn't seem to matter. 

you want coffee. 

"maybe you should give him a call," this boy says. "not for me. just... to chat." 

"i am very mentally stable," you say, thank you very much. 

"you threatened me earlier." 

"an un-rare occasion, i'm sure." 

the boy laughs because there's something funny about that. "i'm very likable." he mocks your tone. 

"again with the opinions..." 

"i can't just not share them." 

"you can actually. you really can." 

and you, apparently, can't hang up. 

*

"no." 

"wow. and i thought we were getting close." 

"as usual, you're wrong." 

he laughs. "this is ironic, coming from you." 

"i'm hanging up." 

"you still need to finish your research." 

you scoff, throwing another piece of paper at the wall. 

it's not a waste, merely art. 

"i just have to finish the citation. easy." 

"that is definitively the hardest part." 

"maybe for you, tech guy."

he laughs again, softer this time. 

you've both gotten quieter. laughter is a mere whistle in the wind. 

and your throat is a bit sore. 

you've been talking to this man for four hours.

"how long are you supposed to be on the line?" 

"it's available until two in the morning." 

"it's almost six." 

"yeah." 

"you've just been sitting here talking to me?" 

"well, it's not really worth it to go to bed anymore." 

"yeah." 

something lingers. 

"i'm peter, by the way." 

peter, you think. you wonder nothing about him. you think nothing of the name. 

you think about walking around campus until you accidentally run into someone. 

"y/n," you say. 

he echoes your name back to you. 

*

part two

my masterlist here.

tags:   @moonlarking-blog @v1ci0us @preciousbabypeter @alexxavicry @directioner5life @inthegetawaycarwithtaylah @localrockstargf  @thestudiouswanderer @take-my-hand-time-boy @thoughtsofagodlovingsunflower @nyomjoon   @raindropstearsandtea @rqmanoff​

[oscpaistry]

Misunderstood.

You and Kylian have been in a relationship for 4 years now. But you feel unheard and misunderstood by him. The media is causing you two stress and argument. At one moment Kylian had enough and he thought it would be the best if you two broke up. But all you wanted from him is to be heard and understood. You went out off the house and told the whole media that your taking a long break and why. About your mental health and much more.

Kylian and you were finally back home from the red carpet. Kylian was scrolling through his phone while you were changing out off your dress.

"Are you actually fucking serious?" You hear Kylian telling himself.

"Whats wrong Kylian?" You ask him while coming into the room he was in.

"Tell me the truth Y/n. Im sick and tired of the lies." He says with a stern voice.

"What do you mean Kylian? What have i done this time?" You say with a sigh in your breath.

"I saw on Instagram that your mental health is at risk again!" He says with a sarcastic tone in his voice.

You sigh. "It is Kylian. Im so stressed and mentally drained. I dont have any motivation to do anything at this point. And i-" you tried to say but he spoke through your sentence.

"Pff Y/n. Don't be so dramatic. You have it simple. You only have to sit at home, do the groceries, model, get clothes, get your nails done and much more." He says while laughing at you.

You look down and feel something in your throat. It feels like you can't swallow.

"Mhm" you say and go back to the bathroom.

"Okay if you wanna act like that and act as if you have so many problems go ahead. Be my guest. But not in my house Y/n. Go somewhere else and cry about it. I dont have time for it. And besides. I dont see your stress and see that your sad or some shit." He says while throwing and bag at you.

Your eyes started to swell up and you pick up the bag. You pack some stuff and went downstairs. You took a glas of water and drank it before you left. You two didnt speak in those 30 minutes of packing. You grabbed your car keys and went outside to go in your car.

You went to a hotel somewhere in Paris. You asked for a room for one. The front desk lady gave you the room card 267. You went up with the lift and went onto your phone. You left the lift and went to your room.

At the end of the hall you see room 267. You entered and as soon you saw the bed you just feel into it and cried.

Your eyes were already swollen and red from crying.

Your phone was going off none stop. You check it and see texts from Neymar, Achraf, Messi and Ramos. They were asking why you were acting like this and were shaming you. You sighed at the messages. Those people were the ones you trusted with your heart. And then in one snap they turn their back at you. It broke you into million pieces. You decided to post on Instagram that you were taking a break bcs off your mental health. This is what it said in your post.

"Hey guys, there is something i want to clear up and say. So the media is spreading rumors around of me. Those are completely not true and are lies. Kylian saw those posts. And because of those posts Kylian and i are having alot of arguments. Im not at Kylian's right now. That doesnt really matter right now. But those posts have me giving stress. But ive been already suffering with bipolar disorder. Ive been so mentally drained fir he past few months it isnt really okay anymore. I havent got any motivation to do anything anymore. Im physically so exhausted. Ill be taking a break from social media for now. I dont know for how long. I hope you guys understand. I love you guys. Im sorry."

You read it again and again. You took a deep breath and posted it. You put your phone in the drawer and went to unpack and to take a shower.

After the shower you went to change. You heard the vibrations from your phone. You went to grab your phone and saw texts off Kylian, Neymar and Messi.

"Sorry Y/n. I didnt know you were struggling with all that."

That is what Neymar, Kylian and Messi texted you. You sigh and leave them on read...

[peppertaemint]

https://www.tiktok.com/@dancingkites/video/7372987651462335751?_t=8mp8vrkKHWX&_r=1

Fell into a Shinee rabbit hole and i can’t get out

Even when i didn’t know them much i really felt bad with Onew being sick and when i saw their concerts while scrolling TikTok i legit yell cause he looks so so healthy, and im so happy he was allowed to take time and get better. Im so happy he is back.

Also looking at shinee now whilr knowing what theyy went trough Danm they are strong. And im happy they are still enjoying what the my do in spite of everything.

And that video is sent show how big they are and how well like they are. And im so happy look all those people enjoying and getting genuinely excited to see them perfom ish for them.

Hi @5813 ! Glad to hear you fell down the best rabbit hole possible. Welcome to SHINee World.

I can't stress enough how incredibly popular and respected they are in Asia, especially Korea and Japan. I was lucky enough to attend SHINee World VI in Tokyo in November 2023, and went back for Taemin's Metamorph in March 2024. I went to SK both times too. Without trying, I saw more to do with SHINee and SM artists while out and about than uh, that other group that shall not be named. Key, especially, is a top talent in Korea. He's partnered with such huge sponsors his face is all over the place. There are giant laundry billboards of him right now. In Tokyo, he had an entire pop-up store for his face products. Even in Incheon, they had his special Valentine's Day Longtake perfume sets. SHINee is loved, lol. And their fandom is worldwide. I don't think people realize they were touring the US way before others and were name-checked by Obama, lol. They did SHINee World in Dallas, of all places.

In terms of public reputation in Korea, my understanding is they are still viewed as the Princes of Kpop, even in their 30s. And Taemin is the "national maknae"; even on the news they refer to him as Taeminie. 💀 And because of what they went through, and how they handled it and have honoured Jjong's memory, plus the fact that they're one of the few kpop groups whose skills are world class (they can actually sing live and sound like their records), they are treated so well, as you can see on Jayseok's show in that clip.

In 2018, they did an hour long, very difficult interview but it was an honest one with a lot of self-reflection. And they had a beautiful comeback with The Story of Light, that incorporated songs and choreographies that explored their grief instead of hiding or running from it. And Onew taking time off when sick to prioritise himself shows this. He set such a good example for all of us.

Basically, what I'm saying is that they're people who take the hard road and don't stop. I think it's admirable.

[nickolox]

((( long ramble post)))

trying to figure wtf is going on with your own mental health without the help of a professional + having a mental illness that already fucks with the way you perceive things (ocd) is genuine hell

like, I HAVE a psychiatrist, but he's fucking. awful and always puts medications first over like, figuring out what the fuck is going on

and everything about this whole procedure just feels like, off???

tldr: local man questions if he has The Dissociative Disorder™ whilst being simultaneously given red herrings and blatantly obvious eye opening signals at the same time, and has the same realizations 30 times over because i am in a constant cycle of denial, forgetting and then rediscovering this bullshit

so to put it in a nutshell most of my psychiatrist discussions about the big disorderly things go like this:

psych: so what are you experiencing me: i keep like, having these massive gaps in my memory, where i have no idea what happened or what i did or anythign for hours and hours at a time, and i looked up what that means and its apparently called dissociating? what does that mean? psych: right, that's a stress response. me: yeah, That makes sense. But I've also been unable to remember major events like my sister's wedding or my graduation... psych: well... obviously you were just anxious lol me: *remembers the photos i have as the only proof i have that those events happened, and im smiling in all of them* maybe?? i mean, it didn't seem like that was the case. psych: (completely ignores that) hmmm. okay. anyways- me: also I've been hearing voices??? psych: where? externally or internally? me: internally psych: (visible relief) oh thank god i was concerned it was schizophrenia for a moment, having an internal dialogue is normal :) me: i can't control the voices though, and they don't sound like my own voice in my mind. they're distinct, and it's not like my OCD either. psych: that's normal, sometimes people just imagine things ^_^

so, it was "anxiety" the first time, came back. told him this shit is still happening, and then he blamed it on my medications, and now i'm on a new set, which i suppose needed to happen anyways?

But like, he told me that brain fog and memory loss are a thing with prozac (what i was taking before) and i was like "huh no one told me that" to which he said "well no one says the full list of side effects because no one would want to take the meds otherwise"

i get home, i look up the fucking manual that comes with prozac when you go on it for the first time, and no where. NOWHERE. is this shit on that list of side effects. i look up a list of the side effects, dozens of sites, NOTHING!!!!

I speak with my bestie and he reminds me that,

I dealt with these problems prior to going on medication (something i didnt even remember, lol)

it has literally nothing to do with anxiety bc he himself has crippling anxiety and deals with none of the shit i do

i'm going to shit bricks dude what the fuck is wrong with my stupid brain, it feels like such a wild challenge compared to when i found out about my OCD, like, dude at least with that bitch it was consistent, it was 24/7. as shit as that was at least I knew it was always there, always there to be a bitch, but undeniable none the less.

This current mystery disorder is like, oooOOOooo i'm going to be here SOME OF THE TIME!!! to make you DOUBT it exists!!! and im sitting here like, is this a symptom or is this my ocd fucking with me bro

i feel like i might have some kind of dissociative disorder, but the problem I'm having is that it's not CONSISTENT??? like, some days I'll be like yeah this is the dream and then other days I cannot physically do anything, remember jack shit, feel like my soul is leaving my fucking body all god damn day?

why do people always talk about alters too, it's like, the one thing I don't experience, or at least, the one thing that's rare enough to not hinder me like the actual dissociation problems.

I feel like I can't be certain, and that sets my OCD off, because my brain goes "what if we're faking- what if you're overreacting" which in turn makes me go. insane. I am going insane.

there is sooo much more i could say, but i just realized it;s half past midnight. I should um. probably go to bed.

Goodnight.

[sugar-omi]

omgggg yes good luck w college!

i'm starting college in the spring bc i was too busy being immensely stressed due to ~life~ and actively avoiding registering for classes bc i didn't want to pile more stress on my plate. of course that resulted in me completely avoiding all college related things to the point i didn't even realize when classes had started and went to register just for like all of them to be full 😭😭😭 i don't mind starting in the spring bc i could honestly use more time to just... not deal with college just yet, but thinking about it still stresses me outttt i feel like im doing college wrong and i didn't even start yet 😭😭😭

thank you!! good luck to you too!!!!

honestly i feel like im always missing something n that if i am missing something, or dont do it fast enough, i'll just get a phone call calling me stupid n then the phone blows up like 😭😭😭

IT'S SO STRESSFUL MAKING SURE YOU HAVE EVERYTHING DONE.... N STAYING ON TOP OF IT BC THEY ALWAYS SUDDENLY NEED SHIT...

but the spring should be fun! i think the spring semesters are pretty short, idk. so it'll be an easy introduction. and if you're taking less classes, it'll be better!

like i'm taking 3, i was gonna take 2 but yknow 3 works fine. my psychology class doesn't start until 9/30 thank god :,)

honestly, just stay on top of your student email and your FAFSA n all that fancy stuff, your personal email etc. and you'll be okay. if they don't say you're missing anything, you're chill! and if you've registered for classes already then just check occasionally to see if the teachers send anything...

honestly just check your email at least once a week it might calm the college demons

dont be like me who didnt check it before i went on vacay n came back to them wanting some verification about my taxes and now you have to wait until you get home (again) because your mom got locked out of her parent account n can't e-sign the fucking document they want :,)

if they ask me for anything else im just going to become a hippie in the woods istg

[bonesandthebees]

I am so mad rn I fell asleep at like 7 pm I didn't mean to I just woke up and was hoping it was at least like idk 3 am but NO it's 11:30 pm and im not tired enough to go back to sleep so now I have to choose to either stay awake and be on my phone or lay in the dark and hope that's enough to lull me to sleep and I'm pissed bc I have a full day ahead tomorrow and I'm not asleep right now so I'm going to be miserable in the morning but I'm not staying at my house rn so my body is doing the weird thing it does when you stay at a friends house and it's weird about sleeping and I kind of wanna hurl myself off of a cliff rn and my phone is lagging as I write this out and it's pidssing me off even more

But yes I enjoyed the one shot I don't remember its name right now but the qsmp one it was very good and I loved the ichor children concept that's so cool :)

Oh anon I’m so sorry as someone who has dealt with anxiety-induced insomnia to the point where I had to get therapy for it I know the frustration with not being able to fall asleep. Currently my go to solution whenever I’m not tired and can’t sleep is the anxiety meds I got prescribed for that exact issue lol, but obviously you can’t do that so here are my tips

If possible, find some melatonin or at least see if you have chamomile tea. If you don’t have either of those, what usually works for me is to turn on a long YouTube video on my phone and just watch until I get sleepy. Old vods are always a good option if you want something to be interested in, but it’s probably better to watch them from a calmer cc (Niki had a super long let’s play series where she played a story game called beyond two souls and I used to listen to that whenever I had trouble sleeping).

My current go to for sleepy videos are either ASMR videos (but I know those aren’t everyone’s tastes), or two specific channels: Baumgartner Restoration or NileRed. Baumgartner is the channel of an art conservator who makes long and very detailed videos showing his conservation and restoration process for paintings clients send him. It’s so fascinating to watch, and his voice is really calming at the same time. I literally turn on a video of his every night before I sleep and rarely get more than 5 minutes into it before I’m passing out. NileRed is a slightly more…energized channel of a guy who does a lot of weird and cool chemistry! His voice is also really even-toned and calming to listen to, but the main reason his stuff helps me sleep is the minute he starts explaining ochem concepts I knock tf out. I did a full years worth of ochem in college it’s like an instinctual reaction to want to pass out hearing it again 😭

Anyway. Find some videos like the ones I suggested—preferably at least 45 min or longer. Just watch it and try to focus on the content rather than the fact that you can’t sleep. If you start getting sleepy, great! If you’re unsure but you’re kind of tired, try closing your eyes and just listening to the video. I’ve fallen asleep like that so many times before it’s my last resort method

Hope that helps!

(oh and last note: if you can't fall asleep again, try to remind yourself that's okay. the more you stress about not being able to sleep, the worse it'll get. even just laying in your bed with your eyes shut will help you feel more rested.)

[italic-doing-random-shit]

im too lazy to read all those questions so all of them

well fuck here we go

~

this took me three days-

1: Whats your biggest insecurity?

I've got three; my body(I feel too feminine), peoples true feelings in me, and my work ethic and effort

2: Biggest physical insecurity?

My chest/torso area

3: Do you like the person your becoming?

Yeah, I like the life I'm working towards is good and i can't wait to live in it

4: Whats the one thing that you thar everyone but you can do?

Actually get peoples attention irl, my voice isn't very loud

5: Do you suffer from anxiety/depression/ptsd/etc?

Yes, I used to, and I think so.

6: Where were you born?

Southern Texas, much more humid

7: What do you think people say behind your back

No good stuff, but that might be the anxiety

8: Do you look up to anyone?

Not really, most of my idols were shitty

9: What makes you feel guilty?

Do not get me started, I can start feeling guilty for someone's tone towards me

10: Boring hobby you enjoy?

Watching gaming videos

11: Do you like who you are around people

No, not really. I'm often forgotten and not included because I'm to anxious to start a conversation

12: Future plans?

Go to art school, start a comfy, domestic life

13: Tell a secret

I hate celery

14: Whats an embarrassing event your still really petty about?

I once got in trouble for involuntarily screamed during sex ed because there were pictures

15: Do you get wonderlust?

YES. EVERYWHERE ALL THE TIME

16: Romantic prefernce

I prefer women/femenine people, but I am not closed to anything

17: How many parents do you have?

Four, two step and two bio

18: Do they get along?

No, not really. My dad and mom can never communicate and cause me to mediate since I was little. Plus, my step mom and dad often scream at eachother

19: Do you swear?

Fuck yeah

20: How many siblings? Relationship with them?

Four step siblings, two sisters, both older, two brothers, on older and one younger. I'm very close with my younger brother, Bold. I'm not very close with my older siblings, as they are on my dads side.

21: Ever hurt someone emotionally?

I really try not to unless they have hurt me badly enough, but I have had to turn people down.

22: Has someone hurt you emotionally?

Constantly

23: Do you believe in the afterlife?

Yeah! There's gotta be something after this!

24: What lies do you believe anyways

That my friend is straight, he sent a group chat that I was in a bunch of thirst traps

25: Do you consider yourself to be poor, average, or wealthy?

I'd consider my family to be better then average but not wealthy

26: tattoo meanings?

Id like a flower tattoo of something meaningfull, I'm not sure yet however

27: How many friend groups do you have? How do they vary?

I don't really have friend groups, but my irl friends vary so much

28: Do you work?

Not quite, I have a practicum do school however

29: do you want a partner for life?

Yes

30: Who have you never forgiven?

Nobody

31: What are you looking forward to now?

Long term: Meeting all of you and giving you all cupcakes

Short term: I'm going out of town soon

32: If there's anything you could've changed about your past, what would it be?

I wish I didn't show as much academic potential then what I truly have when I was younger. Less stress and maybe I could've been diagnosed sooner

33: favorite color

RED LOVE RED

34: Unpopular opinion

I don't like pizza, unless its hiiwain

35: Last good book you read

To kill a mocking bird, as boring as it was to read for school, it was still good

36: Favorite book

Wishtree

37: Favorite poem?

Don't have one

38: Favorite movie?

Luca

39: Favorite song?

This rotates very often, but currently, Partners in crime by Set it off

40: Favorite kind of food?

Sweet and chewy

41: What kind of food trigger your gag reflex?

No foods. But when I bone breaks and you can see the break, ill need a moment

42: What are you missing in your life

As fucking cheesy as it sounds, you guys. I don't like the majorit of people here and i need to hug you all

43:if you could chose your name—

I did, it’s Parker

44/45/46: earliest/recent/beautiful Dream you remember having?

I don’t dream

47: do you have a car?

nope! I’m not able to legally allowed to drive and I have hamaxophobia

48: are you scared of death?

nope, it happens to all of us. I just don’t want to speed up the process

50: Dream job?

I would love to create something like TADC, lackidasiy, or something like that. I’d love to create the story and work on the animation

51: are you religious?

Kinda, I grew up with a Christian belief, but I don’t affiliate with any specific religion. I believe there’s something out there, but not anything specifically.

52: how do you calm yourself?

distraction, if I get my mind off of what’s bothering me, then I’ll be fine

53: most annoying thing that happens daily

my bones popping and hurting

54: urban, suburban, or rural

Urban

55: one talent you wish you had?

I wanna play piano

56: do well or struggle in school?

depends on the class

57: speech impediment?

I have a bit of a stutter when I speak because I’m thinking to fast

58: most terrifying thing that ever happened to you?

getting outed without my consent

59: Happiest day of your life?

Meeting all of you, especially Zain

60: early, on time, or late?

yes

61: quirks?

None that I can think of, most that are visible is just me stimming

62: do you wish you could start tomorrow with a clean slate?

I mean, don’t I already do that every morning. In a sense of course

63: do you ever get paranoid?

yes quite often

64: do you believe in human souls?

kinda??? I mean, I think people are born with certain personality characteristics, but also I think it can be altered by environment

65: what’s a mistake you’ll never make again

making a chocolate pie and trusting certain people

66: what fandoms do you belong to?

utmv mainly, but I enjoy anything that you guys and gals bring me

67: Old urls

Used to be CallMeAdam, i was rotating through names I'd like to call myself, but I much prefer Parker and Italic now

68: How often do you lie?

A lot. Compulsively. Only to teachers and parents.

69: do you like the attention you get?

mostly, there’s some that I don’t like but that’s mostly irl attention

70: are you dating someone? What’s your favorite thing about them?

I am indeed! I love her confidence, but I adore everything about her

71: are you concerned about the environment?

yes

72: what stresses you out most?

Drama that gets blown out of proportion, school, going to my dads

73: credit, debit, EBT, or cash

cash. It’s much harder to track back to me

74: favorite historical figure?

I don’t know his name, but the dude who consumed his entire supply of pervirtin or however you spell it

75: what’s a movie you know is bad but enjoy anyways

Big, it’s awful but so funny

77: what’s your kink?

got a few; praise, dominance, and a few others I will only mention in private

78: what’s the on thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around friends?

there’s a lot of things, but talking is a big one

79: most prized possession?

heart necklace

80: are ever proud of yourself?

sometimes

81: do you ever tear yourself down?

yep

82: do you ever tell people how you feel?

maybe, depends

83: do you like it when people guess how you feel?

depends. If you’re wrong, im punching you(unless we’re joking around). If your right, then it make both of our lives so much easier

84: are you worried about someone close to you?

constantly, we’re all mentally I’ll and I’m way too empathetic for my own good

85: How many interview questions do you answer to yourself?

I don't exactly understand what this is asking, but I have done interviews before so just standard questions about my art work and life

86: if you could meet anyone living or dead, who would it be?

you already know who I’m going to say

87: if I had a clone of myself, and there’s not enough resources, would you get along?

most likely, im am very self sacrificing when it come to my mental and physical health

88: what kind of things confuse you

it can be anything if you try an describe it to me verbally

89: are to hot or too cold?

yes

90: What time period, other then the current one, would you like to be in

Well, probably somewhere in the 1500's,

91: what’s your sign? Does it match you?

Aquarius, and kinda

92: do you believe in astronomy?

no, but I still find it to be really interesting

93: do you like extreme activities?

some, im not very. Brave.

94: are you waiting for someone to save you?

not really, I want to save myself and bring others with me

95: can you remember the last time you had a deep connection with someone?

yeah, with panda on Sunday. It felt like talking to my future self/pos

96: do you like where you grew up?

nope! Terrible for my asthma, never felt accepted by people irl, plus a terrible problem with cis men being asshole and weird

97: favorite word

moonstruck; the incapability to be normal from being deeply enamored or in love with something or someone

98: do you think your interesting?

yeah!

99: what people do you wish knew me better?

my parents, all four of them. Maybe I’d be happier if they understood

100: are you okay?

not really, but I’m working towards being better

101: what’s been going on in your mind lately?

lotsa ideas for animations

[dreadofthegrave]

augh. whinging about life events

this is something that would be in a circle in twitter dot corn but i don't have circles here so i will simply put it under a readmore and assume that anyone who doesnt care will simply scroll by as i gen hope they will <3

anyways. last week was vacation and coming back from vacation i got thrown in the metaphorical frying pan. person who was supposed to be watching the house fucked off w/o telling us thursday afternoon (we came back sat night) leaving our cats and her cats (inc. a 5 month old kitten in a separate room) alone. which the other cats would have been fine alone for a few days but the litterboxes were full which makes me suspect she did not clean up before she left. kitten was left with no water and no food (she gave him food but he scarfed it down immediately. because he's A Kitten) and she had the audacity to try to lie to us!! about when she left when we straight up had proof from the security system logs that she was gone for longer than she said she was <3333

did i mention this girl is supposed to be living with us for a few more weeks lol lmao

we spent an hour and a half cleaning the house from the misc toilet and vomit stains around after having already driven a collective 7 hours home from our vacation spot.

we grilled her pretty hard after she came back sunday nite at like 9:30 pm and she kinda gave a half hearted apology and i emphasized that. i agreed to the kitten staying over (which she had thrown on me like. night before we leave) (she adopted the kitten the weekend we left for vacation) with the agreement that she would be taking 100% care of him which she was Not.

and then she fucked off again for all of monday. i think she stayed monday night but she was gone the next morning. she also sprang on me monday nite that "oh do you mind if i stay at my friends house the days i have work because it's closer to my workplace" (by a magnitude of like. hours) and i said yeah because it was LATE and i was WORKING the next day so i didnt have the energy to have a long conversation. i shouldn't have said yes.

she was gone all tues and wed. she didn't have work today so she should have come back to my house but she didn't because she was with her mom. didn't tell us that btw.

now it is thurs night she's probably going to arrive back way too late for me to have a conversation with her because i go to bed early. because i wake up early for work. my sister called her and had a long convo and i sent her a text message saying the kitten has to be gone by the end of this weekend because my sister and i have been taking care of HER KITTEN this entire week basically. when i already gave her a warning for being negligent with the kitten.

tired of hearing the kitten yowling the whole day because my sister and i are both busy and we can't play with him. me because i have my desk job my sister because she's prepping for her job starting next week. regardless ITS THIS GIRLS KITTEN NOT OURS THAT WE DIDN'T AGREE TO TAKE CARE OF

i haven't even broached the topic of payment because i expected to charge her rent for the couple of weeks she was living with us but since she's only been here like. a grand total of 8 hours (when she wasn't watching the house the week we were gone) should i just charge her for using our house as a boarding house for her cats. lol. lmao. im getting some payment out of this even if i have to bug her for it

all that aside. getting grilled at work for things partially my fault and partially not my fault and feeling indignant about it. got told i wasn't communicating well enough when i have been responding to every single silly little email that was sent to me so idk. maybe check your inbox then? anyways i have to finish a report tomorrow i've been putting off for. a disgustingly long time so this is a situation i put myself in but im still mad and stressed about it

good thing i talk to my therapist tmmrw because im just gonna be like hi :) the shit hit the fan my dude

oh as an aside my brain has been bad enough this week that i decided to take a break from twitter since i figured spending my limited free time endlessly scrolling through a collapsing social media site wasn't helping my brain trying to self-cannibalize. tumblr is. Okay. for now. debating filling my queue and leaving for x amount of time but for now i need some outlet

what else. had an onslaught of flies in the house this week. killed about 20 or 30 tuesday and wednesday. thankfully there seemed to be a lot less today so i'm hoping it was just a freak accident and not a serious problem. clothes dryer has been broken (still turns, but no heat) for three weeks now. repairman has stopped by three times with a fourth time coming. i'm about ready to pull the plug after the next time he comes and just buy a new dryer even if that's going to be $$$$ because... it's an old dryer. maybe its time is just up

didn't mean for this post to be so long LMAO if you made it this far you get a picture of harley (my mom's cat). i just gotta make it through this week [pained smile]

NINJA EDIT BECAUSE AS I WAS TYPING THIS UP THERE WAS A NEW KITTEN DEVELOPMENT. after i texted her she got upset enough to decide to drive to our house and pick up the kitten and leave which i mean. lol. lmao. i gave you a warning and you decided to still fuck off so that's not my fault at this point. she's still an hour away so i will probably be going to bed when she comes home. don't have it in me to have another 10pm serious conversation lol lmao lol

[wlwhq]

hey all!! under the cut are some wanted plots for each of my muses, shoot me an im or like this if any of these are calling your name and id be happy to plot something out with ya! <3

(ps everyone's a sapphic below so give me all your sapphics plz)

soleil. late 20s. baker. jasm.in savoy brown fc. switch.

fwb where your muse is getting attached and soleil is being distantly distant as per usual

someone else in the baking/cooking/restaurant industry where they could work together??

mikayla. mid/late 20s. interior designer. saman.tha logan fc. top.

little sister's best friend ship for the angst of a secret relationship

rich well off milf for mick to work for in designing a new mansion

nora. mid 50s/early 60s. lawyer. julia lou.is dreyfus fc. top.

law student/maybe a law professor if we lean into the collegiate territory (insert crazy eyes here)

anywhere where she can be a sug.ar mommy please !!

mariana. late 30s. er doctor. americ.a ferrera fc. switch.

FELLOW DOCTORS/INTERNS/NURSES/PLZ.........

someone to help her lighten tf up

samantha. late 30s. defense attorney. sara.h snook fc. switch.

fellow older woman who can take her on a sexual Journey of discovery

another lawyer at her firm, so there can be Late Nights Working...

maggie. early 30s. dancer. ari.ana deb.ose fc. bottom.

i have a spider-woman verse pls dont let it go to waste...give me your super villains and your drastically angsty anti-heroes she will love them

also a verse with her as a backup dancer for a famous performer, touring together....it could get ga.y

rowan. early 30s. paramedic. er fi.ghtmaster fc. top.

older sibling's wife. imagine the side eyes emoji here

old ex from college that can't resist the Energy!! & hooking up

darcy. late 30s. restaurant owner. katie mc.grath fc. switch.

regular at her restaurant that's always trying to be flirty and darcy finally giving in

food blogger/food critic that's always hanging around or stopping by bc can't get enough of the food or of darce

violet. early/mid 30s. speech language pathologist. tat.iana mas.lany fc. switch.

bc vi works with a lot of kids, maybe give me your single moms??? please???

older friend of her dads who she thinks is hot pfft

georgia. late 30s. executive chef. nata.sia demetriou fc. switch.

another chef at her restaurant who she has a love/hate relationship with and refuses to give the time of day

former therapist who worked georgia through all of her shit a decade ago and now they're friends/casual??

destiny. early 30s. therapist. quin.ta bruns.on fc. bottom.

give her someone to simp over my god she's probably the softest out of my muses

grad school bestie that maybe they would occasionally hook up? and don't talk about it so they don't ruin the friendship?

syd. mid 20s. tattoo artist. kehla.ni fc. top.

tattoo clients/fwb!! she'll accept payment in head

someone they used to cam for regularly

cole. early 20s. barista. liv hewson fc. switch.

someone they look up to (professor, coworker, counselor) that understands the they/them experience

current girlfriend who goes on a cross-country road trip with them in a bid to get out of their small town and start Living

evie. mid 30s. florist. taylo.r swif.t fc. bottom.

acquantaince of her mom that she's seeing on the low low

someone who doesn't give a shit that she comes from money and doesn't care who she is (that would make her so !!!)

aurora. early 50s. tech ceo. hann.ah wadd.ingham fc. top.

i cannot stress enough how much of a sugar mom.my she is. please.

fellow mil.fs to form a mil.f alliance with

nadja. 500+. vampire badass. nat.asia deme.triou fc. switch. canon character from wwdits

LESBIAN VAMPIRE POLYCULE PLEASE!!!

also if any of y'all write as the guide i will cry

disclaimer that nadja is just a test muse of mine and i might be bad at her so PLZ

[whatudowhennooneseesyou]

hi ruby!! i've been catching up on your blog and all the drama that is apparently going on with some of these anons.... and i just have to say..... if all this is stemming from your post trying to start a conversation about what a person might do in a relationship where one person wants to be childless and the other doesn't..... this is truly ridiculous

i think it's great that you started this conversation. i'm about to turn 30 and have been in my relationship for almost a decade, which may reveal my identity here a bit to readers who know me, but given how angry people get about this topic i'd like to stay anon.

essentially i've known from a young age that i never want children. it's one of the first things i talked about with my partner early on in our relationship and i made it clear that if he was going to want children we shouldn't waste time being in a long term relationship to have this be an impasse later on. interestingly he wasn't sure back then, but he was honest and told me he was more of an 80% no / 20% maybe, and at the time that was good enough for me. i totally understand that people don't always know when they're 20 what they're going to want when they're 30+, so i just made sure to tell him openly where i was at and to tell me if his mind changed.

over the past 10 years he's decided he doesn't want kids either, so it worked out, but if he ever said he did either back then or now.... that would be it. genuinely there's no working it out over that, one person is making a very large life concession and it should be okay to talk about that. for me, i was never going to allow myself to change a fundamental belief just because my current partner wanted it, and no matter how much i love him.... how would compromising myself and bringing children into that space make our relationship any better? it just wouldn't.

honestly the other thing too is that most of the time when i say that i am childless by choice and don't want children, the response i get from most people is shock and sometimes disgust. in a professional setting people treat me like a kid because of it, and my opinions are often invalidated by women around me who do have children or want children. it's frankly exhausting, and i'm not going to apologize for myself or my beliefs any further. i'm just glad i have a partner who is with me on this, because that part is a lot easier and less stressful.

anyways this turned into a bit of a tangent, but just wanted to say i'm glad you started a conversation about this, it's a good one to have. i think the anons calling you passive aggressive or rude or whatever have likely never been on the receiving end of some of these comments that are frankly rude and infantalizing.

Hello my fellow anon!

Yes, that is exactly where the hate comments are stemming from.

Because I asked about what would happen if one partner wants to be childless and the other doesn't.

Babe, I'm more than happy for you to stay private and anon on here but if you want to have a more 'intimate' conversation, don't be afraid to DM me, our conversation will stay secret.

Please, im going to be having more conversations like this in the future, don't be afraid to send in more anon asks and talk with me more.

I completely agree and understand about it being a huge life concession and one that you can't return from.

I believe it can also come from the old mindset that children can 'save' a relationship or prevent one from crumbling and it just doesn't- it simply doesn't.

I don't think it's selfish for you to end a relationship because you want children.

I don't think it's selfish for you to end a relationship because you don't want children.

They are both great points for why 'sometimes love just isn't enough'.

And then it's hateful anon comments that fuel the anxiety of women who want to be child-free because you're right, majority of the criticism we get by choosing not to have children, is from other women.

When I receive comments like 'oh you'll change your mind' and 'why don't you want to have kids? You should because you're a woman'

Its like we are unworthy of our own femininity and we can't be 'nurturing' if we don't have children.

Which is complete nonsense because the fics we write??

That's us being nurturing.

The smut, comfort, the safe space (as much as we can make it safe) we have on here.

That is us using our 'feminine' selves and being 'nurturing'.

So; thank you for your support!!

That was a great point you made!