#can't get that 'first time' and 'noob' feeling ever again

[wp100]

anyone else listen to the stranglethorn music and just feel like crying

nostalgia is one strong feeling... goddamn, man i miss being a child. not a care in the world... sighs.

[curtain-caller]

So I'm looking forward to seeing all the interpretations and headcanons people make for The Lucky Contestant (who I will also join in calling them "Lucky"), but I'm curious... Okay, raise of hands, who else here also pictures Lucky as a crafty, greedy, overconfident, sassy, morally bankrupt little shit (affectionate)? Or is that just me? Idk I just get those vibes from their choices in the game (elaboration below)

Like... the implications that they were combing through hundreds of boxes to get a tape to join the show??? That they were counting the boxes and keeping track??? The fact that the only way to escape at the start is to run PAST the giant fucking beast mauling another contestant instead of running AWAY from it??? Not to mention them leaving the other remaining contestants behind in doing so.

The fact they didn't hesitate when Deputy Duck pecked at them, fucking grabbing him by the neck and throwing him against the wall??? That screamed "I'm not fucking around, are you going to cooperate or not?" kind of energy. The way they barely move when they come across the Real Frankie in front of the monitors??? Like, I know you can't move during that segment probably so you don't just miss the cutscene, but in-universe, Lucky has ample opportunity to turn and fucking run, and we know damn well their fear response isn't freeze, it's flight.

Just. The entire noob noob section. I feel like they flinched one time during that and that was when they caught the first one, but only because the explosion caught them off guard. That slowed them down for 1 second, maximum. Hell, I've seen a few players laugh at that part, I feel like Lucky would too. The fact that there's no objectives to even try to escape Frankie's great value Parkour Civilization??? Like, in a game like this, I'd expect at one point for there to be an attempt to just escape the game entirely once shit hit the fan, only for the protagonist to realize the only way out is to begrudgingly play along and win. But nope. Lucky came here for the money, and they're getting that money. AND THE FACT THEY DO??? AND THEY'RE THE FIRST EVER ONE TO DO SO??? The way they just strut back into Frankie's office after their 57th near-death experience and look him right in the eye??? The whole ending segment where they go for another season??? It's not framed at all like they were forced to go again, because the Real Frankie just offered his hand out, and when we cut back, Lucky is casually looking at the ratings screen while standing on top of a pile of corpses. There are open gaps on the floor they can be standing on instead! But nope, just chilling on top of some dead bodies. Obviously we can't tell what their facial expressions are with the mask on, but they don't seem afraid or even all that tense about their situation either. To me, Lucky is the type of guy to go "I'm not gay, but 20 bucks is 20 bucks". Lucky is the type of guy to go "No, I'm taking the 5 million" only to sprint through that fucking door when Frankie whispers "Double or nothing". Lucky is the type of guy to walk past an old dead competitor and mutter "skill issue" under their breath. Lucky is the kind of guy to roll around in the glass money ball for enrichment like a hamster in a hamster ball. Lucky's the type of guy to keep going for season after season, for more and more money, until eventually they're not even doing it for the money anymore, relishing in the adrenaline rush and the glory instead. I just really love the idea that the reason why Lucky made it to the end so successfully was not only because of their skills and quick thinking, but because they also match Frankie's freak. Frankie was right: They need each other. They compliment each other. They enable each other in the worst ways possible. One wants to put the other through gradually more elaborate and deadly situations to increase ratings, and the other runs headfirst into those situations with the same energy as someone going cliff diving. It's like enrichment for them.

[platinumrosetail]

Yandere Seth x reader. Warning: I would like a sequel to the blind reader. She finds a place to take refuge, as time passes she sadly accepts the fact that she will never return to Seth, just as she finds it impossible to look at his face again. An unexpected day. Seth finally arrives with her. I would like you to describe the way he found her, his reaction to knowing the reason why the reader fled. At first she doesn't recognize him because she can't see him. but when she knows who he is, she breaks down and starts crying because she didn't want Seth to find out, she even tries to deny her disability and her loving feelings towards him once again. It would be great if Seth also knew who caused all of this. (I thank you very much for having me again)

Ok!

Warning: noob author, female reader, yandere romantic character, and others.

Character: Seth.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You had found a nice little village that had a unfamiliar name to it so you guessed it wasn’t discovered yet which was perfect for you.

It was about 5 months when you accepted that you weren’t going to find a cure so you decided to try and live out your mortal days in the village even if you couldn’t see your beloved Seth ever again, he probably already forgotten about you by now.

You began to train your other available senses to try and do day to day things and be able to work to help this undiscovered village as they all helped you in your time of need and you would like to repay that back even if they say that you don’t have to.

Seth hadn’t given up trying to find you in those five months and looked everywhere he could and while he was looking he found out why you left and who made you leave.

He was more angry than before at Osiris that he made sure to step up his game on finding you before Osiris does worse like kill you as a just in case so that he could have Seth which won’t happen as Seth absolutely hates him and will do anything to kill Osiris again.

Seth finally found you on the 7 month that you’ve been gone, he had found you as you were collecting edible herbs for both food and medicine. You didn’t know that Seth had found you and at first didn’t recognize his voice as it been so long but he managed to convince you that it’s him by the familiar smell he had that was amplified by your enhanced sense of smell and by how he traces his hands on your back as he hugs you.

You start to break down into sobs as you had wished he never found you and discovered your disability, you started denying that this was real, starting to yell that this was just a dream that you needed to wake up from, Seth decided that it was best to knock you out so you don’t go into a panic attack and as a way to easily get you back to your rightful place beside him. He’ll make sure that you can’t escape and that he gets revenge for you on Osiris and this time he’ll make sure that Osiris is dead forever.

(A/n: I hope you like it!! I don’t think I have anything else to say so hope y’all have a wonderful day/evening/night!!)

[cheedonanddragonhorse]

I don't get why people think that noobs will just put themselves out there. Just ask for help. When the only option is to put themselves out in a sea of better artists. All these people see what they want to become and what they believe is better. All they feel is the crushing fact that they are not on the same level.

Do people think really reaching out to ask these metaphorical gods for help is easy?

Here you are. With your halfway done art piece that you think looks like shit. And you're just supposed to put it out in front of all these people that make these magical pieces of art. And you're not supposed to feel pressured? You're not supposed to feel out of place?

You go out here and ask for some help. And guess what you get? A pat on your back telling you it looks fine, and that the colors would be whatever you think they should be. Offering basically zero advice and all just affirmations. And then all those people move on to the next project and you never get to talked to again.

I swear these big leagues don't get that we don't know what's the right colors by instinct. We don't know what the right layer effect to do is by instinct. It's not as easy as just throwing colors on a board and seeing what fits. Because we don't know what colors to throw on the board in the first place! We don't know all these tiny tricks that make life 10 times easier. You can't just tell us to adjust the color a little darker and not having us sweat in our boots does that means we're going out to draw the entire layer all over again or we don't know an easy way to adjust the fucking color darkness. Other than going into fucking color editor and repainting it over and over and over again.

That's what you get. There are some random times when you get lucky. But most of the time. It's shaking in fear to even get the post out there. And then receiving nothing but a pat on your back. Putting stuff out with the big leads doesn't give you advice or help. It's not an easy task. And it's not something you do over and over again hoping for better results. That's insanity.

I don't get why people think that having a place for noobs isn't a good idea. In that sort of place. Everyone looks about the same. There's no pressure. And if you're out there reaching for help. Guess what? People will offer the stupidest things. This cool effect that they saw over here, or this color that they think matches more. There's not this sense of "Just going with the flow", because no one has a flow. No one knows what the fuck they're doing. But that means we're all fucking learning together. We all know the pain of repeating the process over and over again despite their probably being a better way to do it.

In a place with big leagues everyone expects you to just do whatever fits with you. Whatever advice you give can be the most overwhelming task ever. Because we don't know the shortcuts. These complicated colors you tell us don't make sense because we've never called them that.

But in a place with people your own speed. No one's telling you to just go with whatever fits. Everyone's trying to get the end game because they don't want you to do all that pain all over again. Telling about our little shortcuts because we think they're fucking amazing. Colors are designated from where we see them on the color wheel instead of some name that we don't know.

You can't just tell us to go off to Google land and watch an hour-long tutorial. Nevertheless trying to remember all that. We don't know what words to search. No one's explaining why this color works better with that color. You get completely lost in the internet. And it's not like any of us are really looking out there for help. It's another fucking big leagues we're every step is a terrifying look into the void.

It's not as simple as posting our art and telling some AI program the fucking fix it. It's not like I can look at my art and say haha. Let me ask Google why this color that is this small doesn't work with this color despite both colors looking good. How am I supposed to type that into a search engine? How am I supposed to search up something when I don't even know what the problem is? Just that there's something wrong.

People get so set in this relaxed sort of art that they don't realize that half of us are panicking. They get comfy. And they just expect everyone to be as comfy as they are. All they think is that you need some reassurance. They fail to realize that half of there vocabulary isn't even a thought in our brain. They fail to realize that sometimes we just want you to fucking tell us what is wrong. They feel to realize that by the time their comfy with what they have. That they become terrifying obelisks to every fan they know. They just have friends at the same level so they don't notice.

Please dear God. Stop just telling noobs to just put their stuff out there, and that everything will be okay!

That isn't any sort of reassurance we need. We need you to actually sit down. Ask us to show off our stuff. And brutally tell us what's fucking wrong.

You can't just put someone on a mountain and tell them it's easy as pie and then climb ahead. We need you actually there. With us. Telling us what a handhold even is.

[shrekisshrimpthesimp]

A Thousand Years

Erwin X FReader

Word Count: 3,003

Warning: None really, angst maybe, but happy ending (This is my first fanfic ever so please bear with me im a noob haha)

PS. I was listening to A Thousand Years Part 2 and was inspired to write this hahaha

---

'No, please, you can't, please no..' 

A pair of cerulean eyes looking at you like you are the most precious thing he cannot lose. Yet they're full of pain and regret because at this very moment he is losing you.

'Don't die on me Y/N, I cannot lose you, no. Please Y/N. Look at me, please.'

The sound of his desperation is breaking your heart. Your heart clenches, it feels heavy, you do not like hurting him. But you can feel it, your pulse is getting weaker, life is slowly leaving you. With all that you have left you slowly raised your hand and caressed his tear stained cheeks. As you gently caressed him, you called his name.

'Er... Erwin..', you muttered softly.

'Hush, Y/N', he gently put his hands over yours, the one that so lovingly caressed his cheeks. 'Save your breath Y/N. I'm not gonna let you die on me. Not you, Y/N. Not you, I can't lose you'. His voice was breaking. The pain he was feeling was unbearable. He cannot lose the person that made this cruel world so beautiful. He cannot lose the person he loves the most.

'We won Y/N... We won the war. It's all over now... We.. We can now live the lives we've always dreamed of... You-..' he sobbed. 'You and me in our beautiful house on that hill.. where we can see the most breathtaking sunset.. and... and our little children running around so happily and.. an-'

'Erwin...' you gently caressed his lips. 'I love you, Erwin.' Your voice was getting weaker.

The pain in his eyes grows more evident by the second. 'I love you too Y/N. I love you so much. Please... please stay with me. I can't.. i can't...'

'Erwin, I-.... I'm sorry.' You whispered.

'No, Y/N, No. You promised me Y/N. You promised me. Do you remember that night Y/N? You promised me Y/N. Please, please don't leave me.' He was sobbing uncontrollably now. 

'I..I remember everything, my love. I will never forget.' You lovingly stared at his teary eyes as you coughed blood. It pains you to see him like this. It shatters your heart to see him hurt. You don't want to do this. But this is a cruel world you live in.

'I will come to you Erwin. In another life, in a gentler world, I will come to you, I will find you and love you with all my heart again. I..' You can hardly say any word by now. 'I promise you.'

'No, Y/N. You are not going anywhere. You will stay here with me. There's no need for another promise. You will stay here with me and fulfill the promise we made that night. You can't do this to me Y/N.' 

Tears ran down your eyes as your vision slowly turns to black. You have no more strength left. Your voice has left you. You can only smile weakly. You have to. You must let him know the happiness he has given you. In the cruelty of this world, he was the light in the dark. But now you're leaving him. It pains you that it has come to this. You never wanted to leave. You wanted to stay and be with him. As you promised. But life is cruel. You tried to open your eyes, gathering all the strength to look at him one last time. To him, the most beautiful thing in this world.

And with that, you slowly closed your eyes.

'Y/N no. No,no,no you can't do this to me. Don't do this Y/N. I love you please. Please come back to me...'

Those were the last words you heard after everything fades into nothingness.

---

The alarm on your bedside started ringing and you jumped out of the bed. All sweaty and as you touched your face you realized you were crying. Your heart feels so heavy. You can't help but cry again. You don't understand why. But it's that dream again. The dream that has been plaguing you for years. You can't remember when it started, you just felt like, it was a memory that has always been with you. But it makes no sense. Then your phone rang. It was Hange, your editor. And you hurriedly picked it up.

'Hey, Y/N. How's that book coming? Any updates?'. She enthusiastically said from the other side of the phone.

Oh my God. You thought. Because you literally forgot about the book. Your editor gave you a week to come up with a plot. But you weren't able to. It's just that lately, that dream has been bothering you so much that you can't think about anything else. And oh, you thought again. You do have an idea for a book. 

'Ah yes, hey Hange. I just woke up, I'm sorry haha. Anyway, yes I've got an idea for the book. It's abou--'.

'Ah-ah-ah', Hange interrupted you. 'Na-uh miss ma'am. You aren't going to tell me about your next big thing over the phone. We'll meet today at lunch time. I'll see you in Café Maria. Goodbye you, and go get yourself something to eat.' Then she hang up. You can only smile at what she said. Next big thing hmm, you thought. You just got lucky at that one book you wrote a year ago. It was highly acclaimed and it got you to where you are now, at the peak of your career as a writer. I just got lucky, was what you always thought. But you were also happy that people loved your work. You felt valid. And seen. But you've always felt like there was something missing. Maybe that's why, at times, you felt like you were ungrateful. Because there's just this hole, this void, that no amount of recognition or money can ever fill. Then the thought of those cerulean eyes that belonged to a man named Erwin came to your mind again. You placed your hand to your chest because for some reason, the memory of that dream always shatters your heart.

---

The streets of your town are always bustling and hustling as you walk your way to the cafe where you will meet your editor. As you opened the wooden entrance of the cafe, you saw Hange smiling so brightly while waving at you. You then proceeded to sit at the table where she was at.

'So, what's the next big thing all about, miss big shot?'. Hange said giddily.

'Well, umm...', Her bright brown eyes looking enthusiastically curious at you. 'I think, um this one's pretty cliché. I don't know. I'm not sure Hange. I think I've lost my touch.', You said while looking down at the table.

'Hey, hey, hey you!' Hange shouted while snapping her fingers in front of your face. 'You know what Y/N, you may think I am pressuring you, which I kinda am but not really', she laughed. 'Y/N, you do you Y/N. Just write what you feel like writing Y/N. That's the reason why they loved your first book, no? You just wrote it because you wanted to write it. So, this time, write what you want to write Y/N. There's no pressure.' She smiled with reassurance, then took it back. 'Just the deadline though.' And she bursts into laughter. 'So, tell me, what's it all about?'.

The truth is you really have no idea at what you're about to do. This whole plot that you were thinking was merely based on a dream. A dream that you don't even understand in the first place. But, you do you, you remembered Hange's words. And all those doubts subsided for a moment.

'Well, its the basic romantic cliche thingy you know. It's about two star-crossed lovers. It's about two people who found love in a cruel world. It's about two people who-'. You don't know why but tears started falling from your eyes. 'Wa-... Wait.. what is this? Tears? Oh my god why am I crying?'.

'Y/N, wha-.. what happened? Are you okay? Is everything good? Are you alright? Here, Y/N a tissue.' Hange said while handing you the box of tissue.

'Oh, God, I don't know, I'm sorry. I don't know what came to me.' You tried to explain poorly.

'That story must really be something huh, to even move the writer to tears. Well, I am really looking forward to it Y/N'. Hange smiled as she patted your shoulders.

----

Lying on your bed, you remembered how you embarrassed yourself earlier at the café. What the hell were those tears about? What has gotten into me? Do I need therapy or something? Should I start writing the book now or should I rather book an appointment with a therapist? All these thoughts came rushing into your head.

'Who are you Erwin?' You mumbled. And as you sighed heavily you got your laptop so you could start working. You slapped your cheeks and told yourself that you have to pull yourself together because there was no use glooming over a dream you couldn't understand. And if that dream is going to plague you in your lifetime, then you might as well capitalize from it and use it as a premise to the plot of your new book. 

'Ok, I got this. And now, let's start'. You said to yourself filled with motivation.

---

After eight months of grinding the juices out of your brain, your next book is about to be published the next day. This is not your first time but for some reason, you are feeling so nervous.

Breathe in. Breathe out.

Inhale. Exhale.

You were sweating like crazy and your heart was pounding like a drum. I need to calm down, you thought as you inhaled and exhaled again. Your phone vibrated in your pocket and when you took it out, it was none other than your favorite editor, Hange.

'Wassup big shot? How are you preparing for the big day tomorrow? How'd you like a pizza? I could have it delivered to your place. I know how you love it so much.' You can hear how Hange was smiling.

'No, Hange, it's fine. I'm fine. Oh my God no I'm not. I really appreciate the thought but I can hardly eat anything right now. I'm so nervous, I'm losing my shit.' You told her as you were nibbling on your fingernails.

'Woah there. Um, I don't know if telling you to calm down will actually calm you down. But calm down, Y/N. Everything will be fine, ok? How about you go to the bath right now and um, light some candles, the one with the scents that will help you calm your shit ok? And then take your time. Listen to some good music, I will send you a playlist of songs that I listen to when I'm nervous as hell. You're gonna love it, it's full of Enya.  And then um, use some bubble bath, so you can have fun. And, uh -', Hange was speaking so fast it made you laugh.

'It's alright Hange. I got it. Thank you so much. That'll help. Thank you. Really. For everything.' You gratefully told her.

'Aw, c'mon let's not get emotional now Y/N. You have a big day tomorrow. You should relax ok?'.

'Yep, I will.'

'Ok, I'm gonna hang up now, I'll send you the playlist in a moment.'

'Got it. Thank you, Hange.'

After receiving the notification that Hange sent you the link for the playlist, you went to the bathroom to do as she said. It's amazing how she knows what's good for you even if you haven't really known her for a long time. For some reason, it feels like Hange has known you all your life.

---

The day has finally come. Today is the day your second book gets published. You were nervous, still, but excited nonetheless. Then there it was again. The memory of the dream. Cerulean eyes staring lovingly at you. Your heart was pounding like crazy. It was beating so fast. But this time, you don't feel like crying. This time, you were feeling eager. It feels like you are looking forward to something. I am looking forward to something today because today is the day my book gets published of course, you thought. You had to assure yourself that this stranger's eyes were not the reason you are feeling excited. Because if it was, then you should really get some help. You laughed at your own suggestion.

The venue of the place where your book gets published is the same old bookshop where you also held the publication event of your first book. This was the place where your love for books and writing was born. As a child, you always found yourself running away from home into this bookshop. This place was your escape, it was your solace. It was the place that took you to many places and took you to where you are now. Standing in front of many people, eager to hear the premise of your new masterpiece. Public speaking has always got you tongue-tied. But this time, you were excited. Then you saw it. A pair of cerulean eyes. The very same eyes you saw in your dreams. He was there. Sitting amongst the crowd. Am I dreaming? This can't be real right? He was looking at you and you can't help but stare back at him. You haven't noticed but you've gone silent for a while now. 

'Eh, ehem.' Hange cleared his throat. 'Uh,Y/N', she whispered loudly.

Then you were snapped back to reality. You looked down at your speech and when you looked up again, he wasn't there anymore. God, I must really be dreaming. I was just imagining too much, you kept thinking to yourself. And now that you were sure that that moment was just a figment of your imagination, you took a deep breath, calmed yourself down and started your speech.

The audience were listening to you very keenly. All their attention was on you and you can't help but feel grateful to these people. Writing that book wasn't just something you did to earn money, well, it was, in a way. But that book was a piece of your heart. And you can't help but feel happy that these people appreciate a part of you, appreciate you. You couldn't be happier.

'I will come to you. In another life, in a gentler world, I will come to you, I will find you and love you with all my heart again. I promise you.'

You read that line from the book to show the audience a glimpse of the tragic fate of the two star-crossed lovers in your book. That line both earned a sob and a clap from your audience. Your speech then ended with a standing ovation from your crowd. And that got you teary eyed, you just felt so grateful to these people.

'Thank you, thank you everyone. Thank you so much.' You smiled tearily as you exited from the stage.

'Y/N!' Hange shouted as she came running to you to give you a warm big hug. 'That was a success Y/N, congrats! I'm so happy and proud of you.' Hange said as she hugged you tighter. 

'Thank you for believing in me, Hange.' You responded while reciprocating her hug.

'That's it! That calls for a celebration! My treat.' Hange excitedly told you and the team behind your success.

'Go ahead you guys. I'm just gonna go get my stuff.' You told her while pointing to the other side of the stage.

'Ok Y/N, we'll wait for you at the exit.' Hange replied.

You then went to get your things. As you gathered all your things, you felt someone behind your back. You turned around and you saw him. The pair of cerulean eyes from your dreams. Those eyes from the memory of your dreams. Except this wasn't a dream.

'You found me Y/N.' He said.

You were startled, you were shocked. What is happening? What does he mean? Oh- Oh my God.

Then suddenly, out of nowhere, he kissed your forehead. It was warm, it was sweet. It felt like... coming home.

Then all the memories came crashing in, all the memories of pain, grief, regret, of yearning, of longing and of love, the memories of your past life flashed through your eyes.

Oh my God.

You can't help but feel overwhelmed. Tears came running down through your eyes but he was there. He was there to wipe it off.

'Erwin,' you called his name. You gently caressed his cheeks like your last memory of him. But this time, not because you're leaving, not because you broke your promise but because you were able to fulfill one and you found him.

He reciprocated your touch by kissing the back of your hands. His cerulean eyes were as beautiful as ever, they were with tears but not of sadness.   He gently grabbed your waist and pulled you in for a hug. It was warm. You felt safe. It was home. 

Erwin then lovingly looked at you in the eyes. You found him. He found the love of his life once more. And this time there were no more wars, no more battles to be fought. This time the world was gentler. And this time, he knew, that fate will be kinder to both of you. 

Then his lips met yours. It was a kiss full of longing and yearning. It was a kiss that sealed your reunion. The reunion of what was once star-crossed lovers. Because this time, the universe will conspire to keep you both together in each other's embrace.

Because a love that transcend different lifetimes is a love like no other. You both deserve to be with each other. You both deserve to be happy. The world is cruel but it's beautiful. Like the love you share between the two of you.

(just imagine this is erwin mueheheh 👉👈)

[bakurapika]

cannot recommend highly enough as a grown-up to learn new little hobbies and come back to things you could do as a kid

i'm learning how to play go (yes, because of manga) - i had tried as a kid, and I remember the desperate searching through local stores to find anything related - back when even buying something on eBay was still sketchy enough for a credit-card-owning parent to be hesitant. i'm bad! but the absolute rush from beating the AI on the easiest setting - the glee when watching beginner guides and realizing that i already knew that term - i was able to solve that problem

when i was 11, i got a clarinet - i went for one year to a fancy school (expensive tuition but discounted because my mom worked for them) where you were required to buy and play an instrument for music class. I liked the saxophone, but clarinets were much cheaper and money was tight.

I'd had to take music lessons of various types through my childhood, and now as an adult i realize that the reason i struggled so much was that grown-up instruments are made for grown-up hands! playing chords on the piano or guitar made my fingers hurt, and I was told I would get over it if I practiced enough - but I didn't mean "callouses," I meant "my fingers can't stretch that far without pain and discomfort." (as an adult, if I play guitar, I play my 7/8th size cordoba, and even that isn't as easy as it could be.)

all that to say, i grew to dislike any musical instrument that played chords. reeds are a whole other beast, and i don't know what I learned as a kid (embouchure??), but I've always been able to pull that clarinet out and at the very least make some musical sounds come out of it. which i got the urge to do recently. I'm still not living alone but I've been sneaking time to play. and i bought new reeds for the first time since 2005.

i was squeaky as hell of course! even with the new reeds, still embarrassingly so! but i've been playing just for the fun of it when I feel like it. and I realized yesterday when I squeaked that it was the first time I'd done it that day after a half hour or so of fiddling around, where even 2 weeks ago, i was squeaking every minute at least. And I can comfortably reach lower notes because I'm adjusting my breath the right way to do so, without having been intentionally practicing.

I know this is getting long. my point is just

a reminder to myself as much as anything else. going back to being bad at something seems embarrassing. you don't need to be able to perform it (while being allowed to show off if you want to, in a space that you think will get positivity)

and somehow that being-bad allows for some really cool surges of excitement and surprise when you are already so much better!

when i briefly was actually in the habit of exercising and found i was much stronger than i had been, had more muscles than before, even though I was barely working a sweat, my friend told me those are called "noob gains" by the bodybuilding community. i'm stealing that. i want noob gains in everything. to put in that little bit of effort to learn the ropes and get better!

it doesn't matter if i don't ever play go again in my life, if I get bored with it tomorrow. I still had fun, genuine pride, feeling like I learned something new. and we never leave these things behind, not really. my mouth still knows how to put noise into clarinet. if in 20 years i want to join an orchestra, i can start intensive training then. and i'll be able to do that because for a week or two, every once in a long while, I picked it up and had fun with it

[solaeter]

hate that I love you - Naoya Zenin [18+]

I haven’t actually written smut in like two years..well finished smutty content. I can barely start it and finish it, shame on me but I am pathetic °(ಗдಗ。)°. I am so nervous and shy, so pls no pitchforks and tomatoes _(:3」∠)_ this is a repost cause doubt hit me for a hot minute, but we gon be brave (*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ 

Word Count: 2311

Request Status: OPEN

Warning[s]: Adult content, minors dni!! idk proper warnings cause my brain is fried atm, but there’s oral [f receiving], penetration which is given, slight manipulation? Naoya cause he’s a warning all on its own, noob attempt at dirty talk [I died k]. reader chan tries to hate naoya but can’t. It’s just porn without plot unless you squint.

Just when you thought you were safe, reality had another thing in mind. Strong hands pulled your hips up with a force that had your face hugging the pillow before you could register how you even allowed yourself to end up like this.

Why did it have to be now? You really thought you managed to get away. "Why are you doing this?" You turn your head, teeth latching to your bottom lip when two fingers glide along your clothed slit. 

"You don't seem to mind." Naoya remarked, his voice laced with disinterest and boredom while his eyes roamed your body. Three months..that's how long he's been without you. His favorite toy. "You're already so wet for me, miss my cock that much?" He questioned with a sneer, sliding your pretty little panties to the side. The sudden chill made you squirm and his words bit at your budding arousal.

"Couldn't you have found someone else to toy with?" You avoided his question, voice hitching when he slid a finger up your dripping slit, stopping at your clit and circling the bud ever so slowly. It wasn't fair how he could work your body so effortlessly. Your mouth parts as your eyes squeeze shut. 

Naoya smirks, his eyes never leaving your cute little cunt while you try to look as displeased as possible. You should have known getting away from him was quite literally impossible. He owned you. 

"Why should I find someone else when I only need you?" The sentence itself sounded sweet, but you knew it was far from what it suggested. Ever since you met Naoya, he's had you by the palm of his hand. He used you for his own needs, taking and taking before tossing you to the side. Yet, you lingered and remained loyal until you tried to end things. Naoya let you live in a false sense of newfound freedom, giving you just enough space before making your world tumble back down, right where he wanted you. 

Now, there was no denying that you looked absolutely stunning before him. Your body was meant for him, made for him to fuck over and over. You were his missing puzzle piece. When you don't answer Naoya, he clicks his tongue and brings his fingers down to your entrance, the tips teasing your hole before plunging knuckle deep, your walls clamping around him beautifully while you cry out.

The sudden intrusion made your thoughts muddle together and everything seemed to spin. Naoya could make you so stupid so easily and he laughs, so humorously. "Why would I find someone else when you're so..fucking worthless without me. I haven't even done anything and you're already stupid."

You glance back over your shoulder, cheeks burning when your eyes meet his cold ones. He never showed you an ounce of love, only half an inch of interest and a load of selfish, one sided desires. "I hate you." You spat while gripping the sheets when another finger eased its way inside you, stretching you further. Naoya curled his fingers roughly, swiping over the one spot that had stars in your eyes. He knew your body better than you knew it. Or so he claimed with a sense of pride. 

No matter how long you've been apart, Naoya would be sure to remind you that no one else will make you feel the way he does. Even if you're spouting words of hate, he just knows you won't stay away for too long. "Heh, sure you do." 

You wanted to be angry, call him out for being a vile piece of shit but nothing came out of your mouth besides helpless moans. 

"Look at you, so pretty and fucking useless. Baby can't even argue with me." Naoya talked down at you, thrusting his fingers in and out of your pretty cunt until you're clenching around him with a strangled, frustrated cry as pleasure washed over your body. "Damn, you couldn't even hold it in. I'm disappointed." Naoya removes his fingers and your hole clenches around nothing, searching for more.

Oh his little whore. To ruin you is his greatest desire. To have you so wrapped around him, that nothing else in this world can compare to what he does. It makes his blood boil in such a way he can't describe and it shoots straight down to his cock. But he can't have you just yet. 

Naoya has to break you more, see you crumble. So he flips you over and the gasp that leaves your pouty lips is nothing short of stupidly adorable. Even more so is how you look at him with wide, teary eyes. As if that would make his heart soften.

"Finally have something to say or are you just gonna stare at me like a fucked out fool?" Naoya spread your legs, bending to hike your skirt around your waist before fully removing your soaked panties. You were compliant, unmoving while he did as he pleased. To be honest, words failed you more when you needed them most. 

"I– please forgive me for leaving.." 

Naoya perked up when the words left your mouth, his own lips twisting into that of a sinister smile. "So you decided on being a good little bitch." He murmurs, placing a hot kiss on the side of your thigh. You always looked so good sprawled out before him, at his mercy. It had his mind spinning in circles, all the possibilities running rampant. "Where's your fight?" He asked casually, inching closer to your puffy cunt and you look down at him only to snap your head back onto the pillow. 

"I have none, I should have listened the first time." 

That sentence you knew by heart considering you've had to confess your wrong doings on multiple occasions. Naoya hums, content as his nose brushes against your sensitive bundle of nerves. Your body reacts on its own, knees bending and toes curling into the satin sheets. You tried to resist him, tried your damndest but it never worked. It frustrates you, so much that you groan and nearly close your legs around Naoya's stupidly pretty head. 

Firm hands catch your legs and dark eyes land on you. "Oh [Name], tell me what you're feeling. I'm dying to know." He didn't care. You let out a half laugh and sit up on your elbows. 

"I hate you. With my entire being but I can't get away. It's not fair. You're– ahh not f-fair." Your words falter when Naoya's tongue slides up your cunt, lapping up your essence before going back down to your entrance.

"Mhmm.." He listens half heartedly, instead enjoying the sweet taste of you that graces his lips. You became putty in his hands, just like that. So simple, one movement. One hand threaded through his short locks, fingers grasping onto what it could once his tongue dipped inside your awaiting hole. 

"Fuu–" You toss your head back, involuntarily pushing Naoya closer which causes him to chuckle and the rumbling of his body only has you sinking further into his palm. He watched you, how your chest would rise and fall as you panted, moaned and clung to him helplessly. Your reactions had his cock throbbing in his pants and he wasn't going to be able hold out much longer. 

Adjusting one of his arms, Naoya's fingers soon met your clit and circled it quickly, building you higher and higher. Your body jerks and he keeps a hold of you, halting your hips to keep you still. 

You tasted divine, like a special wine made just for Naoya. Your pretty moans were like music to his ears and when he pulls back, the whine that leaves your lips sounded almost sinful. "N-Naoya.." You look at him, eyes blown wide and vulnerable, so close to paradise. He smirks and continues his assault on your clit.

"What? You seem to be getting off just fine with my fingers. Now be a good little slut and cum for me." Naoya coos and just like that, your body listens to his every command. The coil snaps and your body trembles, legs spasming and threatening to close around his head but his unoccupied hand keeps them open while you cry out, incoherent words leaving your lips. 

Naoya can't deny the sight and he groans, the desire to fuck you clouding his thoughts. ""Ah– fuck – what a good girl." He praised, an odd thing coming from him but it has you smiling so stupidly. You watch Naoya through half lidded eyes as he eases you from your high, rubbing small, slow circles around your sensitive clit. Your hips still move with him, your body wanting more.

"Naoya..I need you inside me." You barely manage and if it wasn't for the fact Naoya was so turned on, he would have bitched at you. Instead he uses his free hand to undo his pants and free his aching cock from its hellish confines. 

Your eyes lock onto the throbbing member that now rests in his hand as he pumps it languidly. "Do you really deserve my cock? Last I checked," Naoya hovers above you, situating the tip right at your entrance. "You've been a bad girl." He teases you, pushing the tip just barely inside you before pulling back out. You whine, loudly with a pathetic pout forming on your lips. 

"Please, I need you. So bad, I'll never leave again!" You cry, beg and lift your hips in search of what you wanted so bad. All fight, resistance and negative feelings vanished when all your mind and body wanted was him to consume you..

“Is that so?” Naoya hummed, bottoming out inside of you before you could continue your pleas. Your eyes roll back and he has to suppress the groan that dares escape his own mouth. He never grew tired of how you felt; how your walls fluttered around his cock, how you took him so willingly. So easily. You were truly meant for him. 

The pace is set with languid thrusts, Naoya driving himself deep into your velvety walls. He watches your face contort and twist with pleasure and pain due to his size, it had him surging with a sense of animalistic pride. “Remember who you belong to.” He says lowly in your ear and all you can muster is a quick nod of your head as whimpers and cries leave your delicate lips. Your arms snake around his shoulders, keeping Naoya close while your legs lock around his waist.

“Look at you,” Naoya groans, shifting so that you now sat on his lap, his cock hitting places that made your head spin, “Taking me so well- goddamn - be a little louder. Let everyone hear what a slut you are.” He demands, his voice low and strained. You helplessly comply, bouncing up and down on his lap like a good girl. Your head was warped, just like he wanted. Every moan, cry and wail sounded like a symphony that was only meant for him. Naoya held your hips tightly, guiding your frantic movements, hitting every spot inside you that made you grasp onto him like some type of savior.

Ah yes, Naoya definitely is your savior in his sick twisted head. Though he hisses when your nails scratch his neck, leaving noticeable marks that surely would be questioned later. He didn’t mind, not in the slightest. If anything, it made him fuck you harder, his cock ramming your drenched hole as if it were his last day on this earth. The lewd sounds of your juices squelching every time he fills you had him going crazy and he ignored how you drenched his lap, uncaring of the mess since he so graciously caused it. 

“So close, Naoya please,” Your voice is weak and broken, body trembling as it reaches the peak of nirvana. Naoya wasn’t far off from his own release and instead of being a total asshole like he wanted to be, he held you close.

“Let it go, baby.” He urged before biting down on your neck, sucking the tender spot to leave a claim on your body. You whine and unravel, pleasure overwhelming your body, legs trembling and shaking, you were thankful to be on his lap or you would have gone down. Naoya continues to fuck you, chasing his own release and groaning loudly when hot ropes of cum paint your delicate walls. He fills you completely, uncaring if you ended up bearing one of his kids. Hell the thought only made him feel more possessive. It would give him a greater claim over you, keep you with him.

Before Naoya allowed himself to get aroused once more, he removed you off his lap and got off the dirtied bed to fix his clothing. You watch in your fucked out daze, the grips of confusion and longing playing tug of war in your heart. 

“W-Where are you going?” Your voice sounded so soft, so submissive. Naoya glances back and he admires his handiwork. You were an absolute mess. “You can’t..just leave me like this.” 

How desperate. Naoya bit back a laugh, bending to pick up your discarded panties and toss them onto your stomach. 

“If you want me so bad, you know where to find me.”

With that, Naoya bids his farewells and leaves you like you did to him three months ago. But he knew that you’d come crawling to him before the night ended.

On the other hand, you stared at the ceiling until your heart calmed down and were able to get off the bed. Would you run back to him? Even though you wanted to say no, your body said otherwise with the longing for his touch.

The only thing you knew for certain was that you hated that you loved him. 

[tsuki-sennin]

Mooooomotaro-san, Momotaro-san!

Peaches and cream! It's Taro Tuesday! ...we have... a truly excessive amount of peaches now. It's symbolic of how Momoi Tarou has completely taken over my life and how I need him to live.

Anyways, here's Episode 21~! Spoilers, I guess...

-Oh, a period piece! I love the look.

-Noooooo, don't gooooo Tetsu-san :(

-Oh hi Shinichi.

-Doggo! Kitty!

-Hell yeah, SaruBrother!

-OH GOD HE'S GETTIN GRABBED

-Oh yeah, the Dragonfires.

-Oh my god, they fucked up.

-Oh, the Aloha shirt guy to the rescue!

-They...

-They tied him up with noodles.

-Where's Ran Hanamichi when you freakin' need her, eh?

-:O

-Former SaruBrother...

-We saw Marina-san a long ass time ago... and now we see a predecessor!

-Ohhhh, he wasn't part of the team...

-Oh my god Don Kaito.

-Yeah, I guess he got permabanned somehow.

-Must've been before he got

-F

-FIVE THOUSAND!?

-"Not bad, my companions!"

-Oh, Seyama's here.

-HOLY SHIT HE TURNED HIM INTO AN ANONI

-Ohhhh, Murasame-kun! Hey buddy, what's up!

-Oh great Momotani Jirou's back again.

-Ohhhhhhh, the lad became Abare Killer! Wow~!

-Does that perhaps mean that Jiro and his

-Oh shit, Kiba Ranger too.

-...I wonder, does Jirou's mental state affect which Sixth he picks?

-"Why is that boy sad? I fucking hate that so much."

-Sonoza appears!

-Kitou Haruka!

-Oh fuck, he straight up got her

-He's describing these meetings as bonds I'm :sob:

-Soy ramen! He's a soy boy!

-.

-Oh

-Oh my god

-Right Suzuki is feeling himself convulse in agony somewhere, and he is unsure why.

-I see, so Shirai's been selfish, and thus unfit for the system...

-Sanest First Love Hero Stan.

-Haruka, are we gonna have to talk about what happened with Tsubasa months ago again?

-Ah fuck it, she never listens. Well, go on homegirl! Fulfill your desires!

-Become the genius mangaka you were meant to be!

-Matsui Family Ramen...

-Ehhhhh, I'm more of a Hanamichi kinda guy, personally. Ever been to Oishi-na Town?

-Boss Matsui does not like the monkey man.

-This man is litrerally the exact opposite of Shinichi, holy crap.

-Tetsu! The legendary autograph man.

-Is that an urn?

-Oh, sauce.

-I... thought it was the ashes of a loved one, my bad.

-Rashi.

-Dude

-What the hell man.

-Nurture your imagination.

-The sun is already too hot, it's summer.

-"Imaaaaaaaaaaagination!"

-Holy shit, he's burning them alive.

-Oh shit, he's back

-Wow Haruka, you've been out of practice for so long that even a noob can tell.

-Holy shit Shinichi, how did you do that

-Yeah, you are pretty insane, Saruhara.

-Aaaaaaand we're a Hitotsu-ki! Of course!

-I mean, if Tsuyoshi can be one while on active duty, obviously we'd get a retiree to be one too.

-Her deadline approaches and she's gotta do Hitotsuki hunting!

-Oh hey Tarou. Tsuyoshi, Tsubasa too!

-What even is he now? He's got a katana, and is up against a very Japanese-themed character... does that perhaps make him a Samurai-ki? Shirai Shiba?

-Oh shit, combining already!

-Donbrothers has absolutely no chill, and I'm here for it.

-Hooray, Shirai Ramen!

-Oi, Saruhara-san! You can't have late night imaginary ramen without an imaginary beer!

-What the fuck, bun?

-Oooooh, Haruka manga focus~! Yay~!

[sevensins-stuff]

Player x Player | Leviathan x F!MC

⚠️Warnings⚠️: nsfw, fluff/smut, fem mc, tail biting and tail sucking!

Mc: Yo Levi! Let me in! I picked up something that I think would be fun for us to play

Levi: If it's another card game I think we should wait for everyone else

Mc: It's even better! Can I come to your room?

Levi: Yeah, sure

It were only mere seconds before frantic knocking happened at his door. Leviathan was quick to open it to reveal an overly excited human. She practically shook in her place before he let her inside. She dropped the large bag from her shoulder carefully to the floor next to her and clapped excitedly as she turned to face the other.

"What you got there?"

"So, Lucifer and I headed up to the human realm for something important but it was such a crazy coincidence that we happened to be near my house! I was so excited to pick this up cause I thought you might want to play with me."

She reached down to open the velcro flaps of the bag and pulled out an old game system and some cords.

"Can you hook this up for me please?"

He was a bit sceptical of the system she handed to him but he took it nonetheless and found a way to connect it to his triple monitors. As he set up the system, she took out two dance mats and set them next to each other in front of the monitors. One look at the setup and he almost figured what he was getting himself into.

"What did you say the game was again?"

She had never mentioned it before but she was too excited to even care.

"It's DDR! Dance dance revolution is the full name. Oh, I haven't played this game in months!"

"We kinda have something like this, but it's only for the arcades. How did you manage to get a home setup?"

"So the funny thing is that my sister got it but she ended up giving it to me since she couldn't find the time to play anymore. But now that I have it back I can't wait to play it again!"

When he successfully hooked up the system, she plugged the mats into the station and turned it on. That nostalgic sound the game system made on its boot up made her giggle as she skipped back to the center of the dance mat. She navigated her way to the game and the familiar sound of the game’s intro made her dance in her place. The childish way in which she expressed her love for the game made the other break into a small laughter. She smiled as she turned her attention to him, standing with an attitude and her arms crossed.

“What’s so funny?”

“It nothing, I swear.”

She huffed with that same playful smile still on her face.

“We’ll see who’s still laughing in the end. So watch yourself!”

She stepped on the start button on the mat and chose Game Mode. The screen changed and asked for her to ‘select a style’. She chose versus. The screen changed once more and for variety she chose the mode where all the songs would be available to them. All 72 songs. Before the songs appeared, a little card flashed on the screen to give them a quick lesson on freeze arrows. All common knowledge to her. 

“You know, if you aren’t very comfortable with the game just yet, might I suggest that you start on beginner?”

Her comment was informative yet snarky. That got him fired up.

“I’m not a complete noob you know!”

The card left the screen and the large wheel of songs rolled onto the screen, the teaser of the very first song blaring through the speakers in his room. So much adrenaline flowed through her veins that she couldn’t help but to bounce in place even as she explained the rest of the game to him.

“So all of the songs are organized from easiest to hardest, yellow songs being the easiest and red songs being the hardest. Use the left and right arrow to choose the song and the up and down arrows to select your difficulty, got it?”

Levi nodded his head.

“Since I wanted to play with you, I’ll let you choose the first song.”

Wanting to get a feel for the game, he decided that the first song would be the best place to start. It wasn’t a bad song to start off with either.

“What difficulty are you choosing?” He asked her.

“I’ll start off with basic, but I need to go through the options first,” she said before stepping and holding down on the down arrow. 

She selected the options and only turned her scroll to reverse and her arrows to rainbow before landing on ‘O.K.’ at the bottom of the screen. He moved down with her without changing anything and they selected the button together. both moved their difficulty to basic and she gave Levi the honor of pressing the ‘X’ button on his mat. Their very first game together.

Their very first game and she flexed on him harder than he thought she ever could. By the end of the song, their results showed up and he didn’t do too bad. He just barely made an ‘A’ rank, but her? ‘AA’ with a full combo. Man, she was too good. He took the game much more seriously as she picked the next song and the results were almost the same. At least he ended with more perfects than the first time.

Their first round ended with three songs and his final grade was an ‘A’ while her final grade was a perfect ‘AA’. For someone who doesn’t play games like this very often, he did pretty good, but pretty good wasn’t enough. He wanted to be better than her. He wanted to be perfect. Their second round started and they managed to play through all of the yellow songs, sometimes sharing a laugh after playing songs they agreed weren’t as good as the last. What he wasn’t prepared for were the songs she was more confident in. She went up one on difficulty and he tried his hardest not to stare at her side of the screen. But from the corner of his eye he saw almost double the amount of arrows he had, sometimes triple the amount of freeze arrows but she caught them all with ease, still dancing casually on her mat while he still stepped a bit stiffly to catch all his basic arrows. After the first round, he learned that it was better to not return to the center after stepping on an arrow, so he managed to keep his full combos the more they played.

She wasn’t perfect for the two hours they played. Their scores alternated and rightfully so, but playing difficult on some songs still gave her an edge on her score. Nearly three hours into playing the game they were two green songs away from hitting the hardest songs and they were almost tied in their scores. When they reached their final stage, it was her turn to choose the song. But before she did, she proposed a challenge.

“You wanna do something fun?”

He turned his attention to her with a spark of excitement in his eyes and nodded.

“For the red songs I would usually recommend that we do it on beginner, because when I say that these are the hardest songs!” She sighed heavily before returning to her original statement. “But to make things a lot more exciting, let’s do them on difficult and see how long we last. If we manage to finish the song, whoever gets the highest score wins this round.”

“What if we make anything less than an ‘A’? wouldn’t that affect our whole score?”

“At this point, you shouldn’t even have to worry about the last two songs. This is a red song we’re talking about. If you can survive it then you’re already a winner! So, are you down?”

He thought for a moment before turning to face the monitors ahead of him.

“Then, what are we waiting for?”

She moved her difficulty back up to difficult and moved to choose one of the hardest songs from the last five on the list. She chose the fourth song with a devious smile on her lips and stood on the center of the mat with her knees bent and her attention square on her side of the screen. He took one last glance at her and realized that this challenge was going to be an intense one. He didn’t even notice when he had switched into his demon form.

One’s timing was a crucial part of the game and this song took advantage of that fact. The speed ups, slow downs, and pauses that happened on almost every other beat threw their footing off immensely and it surely didn’t help that all of the arrows were so close together. Although she seemed like a pro in the beginning of the game, she struggled so much now. But she was still in this battle. That was the last thing he wanted. He used his tail to sneakily move her foot away from the left arrow on the mat and it threw her pattern off, making it hard to catch up with the next set of arrows.

“Use your tail on me again and I swear I’ll bite it,” she said, her words shaking as she jumped.

The song was almost done and she was just barely catching back up with him. knowing that he needed to win this round, he ignored her warning and tripped her up again, this time completely ruining her streak. She got a game over on her side while he struggled with the last few arrows on his. It didn’t matter though. He still survived one of the hardest songs on the list. He still won. Her legs gave out from under her and with a heavy breath, she collapsed onto the mat. He stood proudly though with heavy breaths as their scores appeared on the screen and everything went quiet. A grey ‘E’ grade for her but a red ‘D’ grade for him. It didn’t matter. He still won.

“You cheated!”

“You never said I couldn’t,” he replied with a playful smile.

She huffed and extended her hand, making a grabbing motion towards him. He tilted his head slightly.

“What is it? Need help getting up?”

“Tail, now.”

“...what?”

“I told you that I would bite your tail if you used it on me again. So, hand it over.”

He was a bit hesitant at first since he didn’t really expect her to make good on her word but he still gave it to her. She took the end of his tail and brought it close to her mouth, opting to bite the side of it. But not too hard! Just enough to let him know that she was able to keep her promises. She opened her mouth to bite it but what he didn’t expect was the small shiver that went up his spine when her warm breath hit his tail. What he wasn’t expecting was the small groan that left his throat when her teeth caused him more shock than pain. She wasn’t expecting it either, but it made her heart leap. She tested him by biting into his tail just a little harder and he shuddered, groaning again.

“M-mc...”

She took his tail out of her mouth but she still had a hold on him. Her mind began to race with thoughts of what she could do to his tail.

“Hey Levi-” He turned to look at her, revealing his cheeks that exposed a vibrant red in the dim room. “Did you...like that?”

Hearing the question was more than embarrassing, but he couldn’t deny that it was a feeling that he did kind of like. He nodded shyly and she blinked slowly in thought before speaking again.

“Do you want me to do it again?”

She didn’t feel like the words came out of her mouth but those were the exact thoughts that ran through her head. What she expected even less was his wordless answer. He nodded slowly and kept his gaze on her as she opened her mouth and took the side of his tail between her teeth again, but she simply held it there as she watched him gasp in anticipation. She wanted to do more to him. She opened her mouth a little wider as she moved his tail to take the tip of it into her mouth. Her eyelids fluttered as she took more of his tail into her mouth, the drag of her tongue on him caused him to shudder and groan again.

It was a new feeling to have his tail sucked by someone. A good feeling. He felt a strain grow in his joggers and he panted softly as his erection grew harder with every passing moment. Her lewd motions did not spare her heart as it beat faster. A low flame licked at the pit of her stomach and she could tell that her arousal started to flare as well. She drew his tail out slowly and in the dimly room it still sparkled with her saliva. She swallowed what threatened to dribble from her lips and looked up at him again. She had regained most of the feeling in her legs and made her motions to stand up. Without a moment to spare, he dove for her lips and trapped it in a feverish kiss. Hints of desperation lead the sloppy connection and he wanted more of what she could give him.

In their kiss, they stepped off of the dance mats and stumbled towards the aquarium wall. He moved, pushing her up against the glass. She gasped softly from the impact and he took the opportunity to snake his tongue into her mouth. His tongue felt strange against hers. It was a bit smoother and much longer than her own, not to mention the small fork that parted the tip of it. He explored every inch of her that she made available to him. The divots of her molars, the smoothness of her cheeks, and her tongue that just as eagerly swirled around his.

They eventually broke the kiss with heavy breaths and they took a moment of silence to just look at each other. There was only the silence that surrounded them, their eyes that shared anticipation and the teasing of the tip of his tail on the band of her shorts. After that long moment Levi finally broke the silence.

“Are you sure you want to do this? With me?”

She nodded before speaking.

“I would’ve stopped you sooner if I wasn’t so sure.”

[one-smuts]

.......ok!

What I can't Have.

Summary: Shinsou falls in love with Denki just in time for Denki to fall out of love with him.

Ships: Denki/Jiro- fluff, Denki/Shinsou- Angst.

Pov: Shinsou

~~~~~~~~~~~~

I was happy for him at first. Honestly I was.

It was getting sad for awhile, the way he followed me around like a lost puppy. The lost lovestruck look in his eyes when he looked at me. I felt like a monster, but at the time, I didn't feel that way for Kaminari.

He was my friend, my best friend even. But my lover? I just couldn't phantom it. I remember sitting him down to tell him. He seemed somehow shocked I knew how he felt. The thing about Kaminari is, he wears his emotions on his sleeve. For better or worse.

"So...you know how I feel?" He said, a spark of hope in his voice.

"I do."

"Aaand?..." Christ. He was gonna make me say it.

"I-I'm sorry Kaminari. I just dont feel the same. You're a great guy and all, I just don't feel that way for you. I hope we can stay friends though."

I think I watched his soul shatter that day.

I didn't see Denki for a few weeks after that. Im pretty sure he was avoiding me. Not like I could blame him though. It's hard to get rid of feelings when you see that person everyday. I missed him though. I missed him so much. Looking back, that probably should have been my frist hint.

When he started texting me again, it was a relief. I had my best friend back! And we xkuld actually talk and hang out now. No more lovey eyed guilt trips he didn't even know he was taking me on. Apprently, he'd gotten really into music to process his emotions, and it really helped him heal.

We have Jiro to thank for that.

I don't hate Kyouka. I think she's actually a wonderful girl, and I nothing but thankful for her, for being there for Kaminari when I couldn't be.

That said, the moment he introduced us j saw it. He had that same love struck look in his eyes. It didn't surprise me. Kaminari had the heart of a hopeless romantic, it was made of elastic.

The difference was, she had the same eyes for him. It shocked no one when they started dating. And look, I was happy for them! Denki deserved someone who could love on his level and Jiro fit the bill. She was kind and caring, and they both loved music. I couldn't believe it, but she tought his tone deaf ass to play guitar! They have a small band together now. They make amazing music.

And they really are adorable together. I started inviting Jiro to our hangouts, so she knew she was welcome. At first, I thought I was annoyed at being a third wheel. Watching them curl into eachother on the couch, while I sat on the floor on movie night. How they would get into these feedback loops of just gushing over one another. And don't even get me started on the playlisys.

But, slowly I realized it was more. It was in the way he held her close at all times. They way he talk about her, as if she was some divine gift. It was in the way he looked at her, with those love struck puppy eyes.

Fuck, I missed those eyes being on me.

Leave it to me to only realize I want someone once I couldn't have them. My stomach would turn into knots when's I saw him. My head would feel light, and on the rare occasion it was just us, I'd get damn near giddy. I was a love struck fool.

And, maybe it really was just so I could heal and move on. Maybe it's because I'm selfish. Maybe it was because some tiny part of me hoped he'd leave her for me. But, I told him exactly how I felt.

It started out normal, we were playing Mortal Kombat, but, I guess he noticed my game was off.

"Alright, what's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

"You lost."

"I lose all the time."

"Yea, but not with noob!" His laughed was always so adorable. "Noobs your main! So what's going on?"

I got cold feet at the question. I was I was sure I wanted to tell him, but now...

"Im fine, I promise."

"Hitoshi, you know you can tell me anything, right?"

"Yea?"

"So why are you keeping secrets now?" He asked. He was right. It didn't ruin things when I rejected him, why wouldn't work out the same way in reverse? And his smiled was so warm, and inviting.

"I-..I think I love you."

"Aww, I love you too bro!"

"No, Kaminari, I mean I love you."

His smile dropped.

"What?"

"Look, I know that I said I didn't feel the same, and at the time I didn't, but I love you! Seeing you with Jiro made me realize, I-"

"Hitoshi, that's not fair." Denki said, uncharacteristically cold. I could see the tears form in his eyes. But, it wasn't the same as last time I saw them. These weren't tears of heart break.

"I waited a whole year for you. I wanted you, for so long, and you told me you didn't want me. Not the other way around. And now thG I'm happy and everything is good, and, for the first time in forever, I feel like I'm not carrying bricks on my chest, you wanna do this? Hitoshi, do you like seeing me hurt?"

"No! Kaminari, I would never do anything to hurt you!"

"Then why tell me?! What did you expect?! For me to just leave Jiro and come running into your arms? I love Jiro. And I'm pretty sure she loves me. She loves me enough not to try and crash everything I worked so hard to build." He was crying now. I wondered how over me he really was. I wondered if that was selfish to think.

"No, I don't want to break anything you built-up. I just had to get it off my own chest. I don't want you to leave Jiro, I just...I dont know."

"I-..I dont know either man. I'm sorry but, I really don't feel the same anymore. I don't know why I'm so mad about it." He confessed. He refused to make eye contact. "I guess I'm just mad that I spent months miserable over the fact that you'd never love me. And, I guess it all feels like it could have been avoided now."

"Im sorry."

"But, I don't know if I want to have avoided it." He wiped his eyes with his sleeve. He wasn't crying anymore, but his eyes still had had a sharpness.

"If I avoided it, I wouldn't have gotten so close to Jiro...but...I just.." He cut his own thoughts off with a groan, hiding his face in his hands.

"Im sorry."

"I know you are." He mumbled. He looked over at him. "I loved you Hitoshi. I really truly did."

"Its not too late, I-" that was the wrong thing to say. A scowl came across his face.

"Yes it is. I loved you. Ed. Past tense. My emotions and how I feel don't get pushed to the side because you finally came you your sense and realized how you felt. My relationship isn't going to just end because you want it to."

He grabbed his backpack and stood up. I wanted to reach out for him and make him stay. But, I knew that would be wrong.

"I-I'm sorry Hitoshi. I just dont feel the same. You're a great guy and all, I just don't feel that way for you anymore. I hope we can stay friends though." He mumbled as he walked to the door. He looked back at me.

"I'll see you later man."

"See you later."

And thats where we are now. I've been laying on my bed going over this entire situation in my head for hours. I definitely could have gone about that last interaction diffrent, but, it doesn't matter. I missed my shot.

Stupid late stage crushes.

I can't help but think about how he must have felt just like this all that time ago. And I feel almost worse knowing I put him through it.

But, I know I can't lose him. He's my best friend, I'd be devastated to lose him completely.

So, I guess I gotta just get over it.

_________________________________________

A/N: hope ya like it @firelove151! I haven't ever really written anything like this before so, as always constructive feedback is welcome!

[icharchivist]

whats your fave dai party banter? mine is with cole and dorian, when dorian is kinda like "be careful where youre going with these daggers i was casting fire spells at the enemies" and cole is just like "it can't hurt me, it's friendly fire" and then dorian (and me) kinda goes "that's- that's not really what you think it means" (i always disable friendly fire bc im a noob and i can't stand to involuntarily hurt my allies but cole, sweetheart, please don't get in harm's way)

Heyaa!!

Omg nonny :’D First, I’m completely with you on this one - this is such an adorable banter omg. It has everything, Dorian being concerned, Cole being adorable - this is beautiful. (and i feel you on the friendly fire stuff, just.. let’s limite damage ahah)

I don’t have a fave banter, mostly because i’m still discovering some banters i didn’t have before, and a  l o t of them are gold. 

Then, I generally love Cole’s banters. He’s always sweet and adorable and always with the most amazing replies, it makes me so happy. 

then man there’s so much banters i love. I love Varric/Dorian always betting about stuff, Varric/Vivienne was an extreme amount of fun.Bull has a lot of dialogue I really like (especially with Sera and Vivienne, I love how strategic he gets with them to different extreme, and well, always soft spot for his dialogues with Dorian) but I really, really love his dynamic with Cole (he calls him “my squirrelly kid” i’m gonna cry). There’s something in Cole/Cassandra dynamic that i find really sweet too bc it starts very badly but they end up pretty close? it’s adorable.

…. so ye I’d say Cole’s banters are always a win.

edit: i ended up making a list of some of my fav and I actually love too much banters to just narrow them down i love those dorks

As for my favorite favorite, this is so hard to pinpoint one banter, they are all so cool? I can’t narrow down one orz

huuuh maybe a few randoms i really like: (which ended up being a long list so under the cut ;O take care!)

Varric: Okay, try it again, you’ll get it.Cole: Knock, knock.Varric: Who’s there?Cole: Me.Varric: (Sighs.) Me who?Cole: Me, and I’m telling a knock knock joke.Varric: Uh… that was… closer. Keep trying.

Cole: I like your horns, The Iron Bull.Cole: But they’re dragon horns, not bull horns. You could have named yourself The Iron Dragon.Iron Bull: Oh, shit. That would have been better.

Cole: You got to pick your name, The Iron Bull.Iron Bull: Sure did. Thanks for sticking the “the” on there, too. Most people forget.Iron Bull: It kinda makes it sound like I’m not really a person. Like I’m this dangerous thing, you know?Cole: You made it a joke on yourself, making a mockery, so you would never be that.Iron Bull: It kills the joke if you explain it, kid.

Dorian: Ah, Solas. You startled me. You’re always so… nondescript.Solas: Please speak up! I cannot hear you over your outfit!

Blackwall: Sera and I were just talking about you. We need you to settle a question for us.Solas: (Sighs.) Sera’s involved? So this question will be offensive.Blackwall: Yes, probably. Sorry.Blackwall: You make friends with spirits in the Fade. So… um, are there any that are more than just friends?Blackwall: If you know what I mean.Solas: Oh, for… really?!Blackwall: Look, it’s a natural thing to be curious about!Solas: For a twelve-year-old!Blackwall: It’s a simple yes or no question!Solas: Nothing about the Fade or spirits is simple, especially not that.Blackwall: Aha! So you do have experience in these matters!Solas: I did not say that.Blackwall: Don’t panic. It’ll be our little secret.Solas: Ass.Blackwall: Now who’s twelve?

Blackwall: Do you have any advice for fighting demons, Solas?Solas: Survive the first thirty heartbeats, and you’ll have already won.Blackwall: So I should try not to die? Helpful.Solas: I mean that demons are rarely intelligent enough to change their tactics. If you focus on defending yourself, you will see the full range of their abilities within the first thirty heartbeats. By then, you should be able to find a weakness and exploit it.Blackwall: Ahh, that is helpful! I will try to remember that.Solas: Also, try not to die.

Vivienne: Varric, darling, what manner of villain am I in your novel?Varric: You’re the scheming duchess, coldly maneuvering her political rivals into a trap.Vivienne: Yes, but what am I wearing? You are not going to describe me in anything less than the latest fashions, are you?Varric: I’m… going to spend the next few weeks researching Orlesian gowns, aren’t I?Vivienne: Yes, my dear. And my mask should be inlaid with opals.

Varric: I can’t wait for Chuckles to say something about the VeilSolas: I don’t always mention the Veil.Cassandra: You do. Always.Dorian: You do. You really do.Iron Bull: Yeah, you do.Vivienne: Of course you do, darling.Inquisitor/Blackwall: Yes, you do.Cole: You do think about it a lot.Varric: See? Told you.

Dorian: Come on, just answer the question, Varric.Varric: My mother didn’t raise any morons, Sparkler. I won’t touch that one.Dorian: You must have an opinion. And you’re a dwarf! Completely unbiased!Varric: There’s no way I’m answering “which inquisition mage is the best-dressed.” Not for all the gold in Orzammar.Vivienne: Also, the answer is obvious.

Varric: So, Sparkler, what do you think of the Inquisition so far?Dorian: It’s interesting, I’ll give you that. An archdemon attacking me is a first.Varric: Five royals says you see something weirder before the day ends.Dorian: I don’t think I should take that bet.

Varric: What do you think, Sparkler? Ten royals says the next thing we run into farts fire.Dorian: I’ll take that bet. I win either way.

Dorian: You owe me twenty royals, Varric. I’d like them paid in candied dates.Varric: I haven’t lost that wager yet.Dorian: You said we’d be ass-deep in trouble. This is more like knee-high.Varric: I didn’t specify whose ass, did I?Dorian: Leave it to a dwarf, always lowering the bar.

Varric: I got to ask, does any of this shit make sense to you?Dorian: To me? Are you referring to the giant hole in the sky? Or the creature out of Chantry cautionary tale who wants to be a god?Varric: Either. I’m feeling generous.Dorian: What’s the problem? Someone shows up, tears the place apart, declares himself king? That’s half of history.Varric: Corypheus is that terrifying drunk nobody’ll ask to leave?Dorian: Even after he puts a hole in the ceiling. Terribly common.

Blackwall: Corypheus. One of yours, isn’t he?Dorian: One of mine? Like a pet? Like a giant darkspawn hamster with aspirations of godhood?Dorian: ‘Dorian, why can’t you look after your little friends? Corypheus peed on the carpet again!’Dorian: In this analogy, the carpet is Haven.Blackwall: Is he or is he not a Tevinter Magister?Dorian: Meaning 'the source of everything bad and evil in the world’? They are the same, yes?Blackwall: Certainly feels that way at times.

Varric: I can’t believe you picked the absolute worst of my books to read. Why not Hard in Hightown?Cassandra: I have enough mysteries and investigations of my own.Varric: What? You don’t want to solve more in your spare time?Cassandra: Then you killed my favorite character in Chapter 3, so I threw the book across the room.Varric: Ah, a critic. Say no more.

Iron Bull: “Blackwall.” “Iron Bull.” We could fight crime!Blackwall: Isn’t that exactly what we’re doing? Right this minute? More or less?Iron Bull: Oh yeah.

Iron Bull: You could’ve been one of the Chargers, Blackwall. You’ve got the stature, the attitude…Blackwall: And you’d be my boss.Iron Bull: Hey, I’m a great boss. I’m a firm believer in No-Pants Fridays.Blackwall: I’d rather fight for a cause.Iron Bull: Hey, No-Pants Fridays is a cause.

Sera: So do all Gray Wardens have beards?Blackwall: Just me. I stole all the beards, and all the power held within. There can be only one.

Solas: Have you ever had any interest in learning magic, Sera? While it has not manifested naturally, there are ways to determine whether arcane gifts lie dormant within you.Sera: What? Don’t make me think about that. I have to sleep at night!Solas: Sleeping would give you the chance to explore the Fade. I could introduce you to spirits.Sera: Right, you’re messing with me on purpose!Solas: Why would I do that? It is not as though I know who filled my bedroll with lizards.Sera: Heh. Fair point! That was pretty good.

Sera: I sent a box of rabbit raisins to some Lord What’s-his-tits in your name.Vivienne: That explains the letter of gratitude. They were, by all accounts, delicious.Sera: Ewww! Ew, ewww!Vivienne: You underestimate both the fragility of his holdings, and the severity of tribute demanded of him in the past.Vivienne: Perhaps he was grateful it was not a stew made of some lesser cousin.Sera: That’s lies, right? Must be lies.

And one that i just find beautiful:

Solas: You truly are content to sit in the sun, never wondering what you could’ve been, never fighting back.Varric: Ha, you’ve got it all wrong, Chuckles. This is fighting back.Solas: How does passively accepting your fate constitute a fight?Varric: In that story of yours—-the fisherman watching the stars, dying alone. You thought he gave up, right?Solas: Yes.Varric: But he went on living. He lost everyone, but he still got up every morning. He made a life, even if it was alone.Varric: That’s the world. Everything you build, it tears down. Everything you’ve got, it takes. And it’s gone forever.Varric: The only choices you get are to lie down and die or keep going. He kept going. That’s as close to beating the world as anyone gets.Solas: Well said. Perhaps I was mistaken.

And i’m stopping there bc i already copied and pasted a lot of the wiki and i’m not even done with half of my favorite quotes, so i guess those should count

hope you like it nonny ;O

Take care ;O

[strawberries-n-sugar]

Just why not, about to go to bed and it's something to do. Noone asked me and I don't think anyone cares but no harm in doing it for fun

A. Yes

B. Boyfriend in the living room because I saw the trailer for Loki and had to tell him to suck it because I said Loki was still alive and have besn saying that and he kept telling me he wasn't and before that a good night call from momma. Before anyone says that is weird, yes it is out of the ordinary and yes she does call a bit much sometimes but she is 63 and Im her only child and even though I am 23 and on my own I cant abandon her even though I have been told I should (for reasons) I feel like a goodnight call each night is a small thing, especially with recent events and we lost daddy last year so now she is on her own and I live in a differnt place and cant go see her often

C. When I went to the kitchen a little while ago for food and swung by to visit my boyfriend, basically husband, and I got a kiss then

D. Im bi but I guess speaking honestly I prefer guys more, I could never be in a relationship with a girl again I don't think and as far as being with one Im not sure, Ive only ever "been with" my boyfriend but as to why I dont think I could be with a girl there is a list of reasons I won't dwelve into. But, a girl has told me I am a amzing kisser and she was in love because my lips were so soft; truth or dare got weird, started with me bluffing and putting on fruit lemonade lip balm then she got tired of me getting nervous so she manhandled my face and then that happened 😂

E. 1 in each, I got them pierced when I was about 5 or 6 but Ive never wear earrings despite owning a few pairs because I can't wear anything cheap or fake as soon as I put it in my ears they become red and itchy and hurt and swell. I have to get nikol free and real medals

F. I cant really do this without someone giving me options lol

G. My furrbaby

H. Furrbaby and bf

I. I'm the first to admit when and if Im jealous with no shame, always been that way becuase it is a natural human emotion. The most recent time I remember is when he was gaming with the boys, they all treat me kinda like Im one of them and accept me but I'm still a noob ameture gamer on thier consoles and a few days back one of thier girlfriends started playing and his/our friend was showing off her art and the other wanted to drink with her saying she was nice and they were all playing with her so I felt left out if Im honest because I have a few online friends but in person they are the closet thing I have, he knows them in person but I dont but since they grew up together. I struggle making and keeping friends and always fuck up no matter how hard I try, all I have really are him and my baby boy (my dog) and two or three people I talk to online so as far as hanging out theyre what I have

J. Oh god we will be here forever with that list, lets not 😂

K. Jessica Irene H. I dont feel comfortable putting my whole name

L. Yes, Im the youngest of 6 wouldve been 7

M. Sometimes, depends on the who, the what, and the why

N. Not sure what to say here, I try to be the best I can

O. I'm out of school

P. Almost everything

Q. 😂 um a few years ago and I was only there because they needed a babysitter, I happened to be there, and my bf was there...probably never

R. Choosing 10 is hard considering I'm always asking obvious questions

S. When I walk in the house and Lolli is all happy and pitter pattering around excitced I say HEY BABY on repeat, I bite my nails

T. Lolli, my bf, my momma and daddy, my furrbabies (cats, long story dont want to talk about it), animals (except snakes, I dont hate them I just am literally tereified of them touching me and its not because they bite or theyre slimy it is because of a reoccuring nightmare and it is a phobia, I have stories)

U. Actual texts, not too many

V. To be happy, healthy, safe and have a normal life

W. My aunt ruffie

X. Oh yeah, a ton

Y. Current town, Ive only ever lived in worse before so its not bad although my first time going downtown before we moved here I was scared looking over and seeing a playground where noone was fighting or vomiting and I was like "what the fuck is this Gilmore Girls bullshit?"

Z. Go on ahead

BRUTAL HONESTY HOUR

A - If I’m in love.

B - Who the last person I talked to on the phone was.

C - How long it’s been since I’ve kissed.

D - If I have a preference for boys or girls.

E - How many holes I have in my ears.

F - Give me any options, like ‘hot or cold?’

G - The last person I said 'I love you’ to.

H - The last person I hugged.

I - The last time I felt jealous, and why.

J - Are you insecure. What about?

K - What my full name is.

L - If I have siblings.

M - If I forgive betrayal.

N - If you want to know how I treat my friends.

O - If I like my school.

P - What kind of music I like.

Q - What the last party I went to was, and when the next will be.

R - For me to tell 10 of my curiosities.

S - 2 habits.

T - 5 things I love unconditionally.

U - How many texts I send daily.

V - 3 big dreams.

W - An idol.

X - If I’ve done something I regret very much.

Y - If I like my town and why.

Z - Ask any question you want.