#can't believe this fictional man is my literal boyfriend at this point

[taeyongdoyoung]

wicked game

summary: you try to seduce the unpopular virgin to win a bet with your stepbrother. your stepbrother wants to sleep with you and you want his car. but the virgin guy has more to offer... pairing: loser virgin!haechan x popular girl!reader genre: angst, romance, smut, high school setting warnings: the bet trope my beloved, manipulative stepbrother!jeno, ex-boyfriend!mark, innapropriate groping in school, one non-consensual cheek kiss, past man-eater y/n, lowkey corruption kink, lots of kissing, handjob, blowjob, eating out, attachment issues, protected sex (unbelievable), classmates to lovers, non-consensual photo-taking, breakfast in bed, break-up, no pain no gain author's note: this is loosely based on the movie Cruel Intentions minus the dying part; disclaimer: this is a work of fiction, i don't actually think Jeno is an A-hole, i just needed such a character for the sake of the plot word count: 3.7k

You're bored. Being the most popular, prettiest and richest girl in high school is not enough to satisfy your greed. Boys are literally throwing themselves at you in every corner. It's almost too easy. You want a challenge. Something to make the last year of school a memorable one. Something fun.

So, when your stepbrother Jeno presents you with an idea, you accept it eagerly.

"If you're so bored, why don't I propose a bet?"

"What kind of a bet?" you eye him curiously.

"See that guy Haechan? I heard he's a virgin and saving himself for his one ~true love~. How fucking pathetic is that?"

"So? What is it to me?" you scoff, though you already have a feeling where this is going.

"If you manage to seduce that fucking loser, I'll give you my Jaguar."

"Oh, that's very tempting," you smirk. "And if I don't?"

"Then, you'll sleep with me," Jeno whispers in your ear.

"Ew, as if. You're my brother," you make a gagging motion.

"Stepbrother," Jeno points out.

"Still, it's gross," you shake your head.

"Are you scared you'll lose?" Jeno sticks his tongue out.

"I haven't agreed to the bet yet," you answer.

But Jeno knows you too well. You are already thinking of ways to ruin that poor boy Haechan.

You approach him that same day, sitting on the empty seat on his desk. Asking him to do homework together...

"Why would I want to spend time with you?" Haechan spits out.

Ouch. Little one is too feisty for a regular loser. This might be more interesting than you initially thought.

"Why not? If you hang out with me, people will think you're cool," you try to attack where you believe it'll sting.

"So? Popularity isn't everything, you know?" Haechan rolls his eyes. "Besides, people who peak in high school spend the rest of their lives leading a mediocre, non-satisfying existence."

Damn. Pretty harsh. You didn't anticipate this would be so difficult. Oh well, all the more motivation to try harder.

"You admit it, then? That I'm at my peak right now," you smile flirtatiously, running a finger across his face.

"It doesn't matter to me where you think you are," Haechan glares at you, grabbing your finger and removing it from his skin. "As long as you get out of my face."

Gee, so aggressive.

"Did I ever do something to you?"

"No, but you messed with my best friend Mark's head. Leading him to believe you cared for him and then ditching him is so not cool. Now, piss off," Haechan grunts angrily.

You don't even remember half of the names of the guys you slept with. But you do remember Mark. He was really sweet. And if you could feel something at all, it would have been guilt. But back when you were with Mark, your mother had just announced she's getting re-married to Jeno's father. So, you were angry at everyone and everything. And you took it all out on Mark.

"Well, I can't change the past, so don't blame me without knowing the circumstances."

"It doesn't matter anyway. Mark found a girl much better than you who's treating him right."

"What about you? Got someone special taking care of you?" you touch him again, this time more forward and shameless, trying to elicit a reaction out of him. Sneaking your hand underneath the desk and caressing him fondly.

"It's n-none of your b-business," Haechan stammers but he doesn't remove your hand this time. Oh, he's so touch-starved this is going to be a lot of fun. For you.

"I could take care of you, you know? Turn all your wildest dreams into reality."

"I know what you are," Haechan shakes his head.

"A vampire!" you gasp in mock surprise.

"Ha-ha, very funny," Haechan fakes a smile. "You're a man-eater. You fuck around with guys and then you leave them to rot. I want nothing to do with you."

"Really? Then, why haven't you removed my hand yet?" you remind him, though perhaps you shouldn't have.

Haechan grabs your wrist, pushing you away firmly.

"You're wrong, you know," you try to convince him of your sincerity. "I'm just as eager to find someone who loves me. Someone worth staying for."

"And what, you expect me to believe that someone is me?" Haechan stares at you sceptically.

"Let's find out, shall we?" you give him a quick kiss on the cheek before he can escape.

And then, you let him be. Enough torture for day one.

You start interacting with Haechan every day. During the first month, you are consumed with thoughts of Jeno's bet. The abominable idea of sleeping with your stepbrother is enough to keep you going. Of course, you know he's not gonna force you into it. But you need the motivation to not lose the bet anyway. The gorgeous car is also pretty seductive.

During the second month, you are consumed with thoughts of Haechan. You begin to realize how lovely, clever and funny he is. And the fact he's even letting you spend time with him is enough to make you happy. You're no longer bored. Because everyday you have something fun to look forward to. You spend time at the school library, doing homework together, occasionally sending memes to each other. You go on little walks and picnics at the park. You even go to the cinema a couple of times, bonding over your shared love for horror movies.

During the third month, the miracle happens. Haechan decides he trusts you enough to invite you over to his place one evening. He even makes the point of notifying you that his parents aren't home. What does he mean by that? Is this an opportunity for you to finally seduce him?

Naturally, you don't get much homework done, before Haechan starts kissing you out of nowhere. You kiss him back eagerly.

"W-what are you doing?" you ask as you notice Haechan has started unbuttoning his jeans.

"I t-thought you wanted this. S-sorry," Haechan looks down, feeling ashamed all of a sudden. He's in a hurry to zip himself again. God, you feel so cruel.

"I d-do," you admit, no longer giving a shit about that stupid bet. "But I don't want to rush you into anything you're not ready for."

"So, you've heard about what I said at that fucking party?"

"What did you say?" you ask, even though you have an idea of what it involves.

"That I'm saving it for someone special," It being his virginity, you suppose. "Someone who loves me. To be honest, I was really drunk that night. I don't care all that much anymore."

"It's okay to have your principles, Haechan," you try to reassure him and stroke his soft hair gently. "I think it's pretty admirable, actually."

Haechan shakes his head, visibly disagreeing.

"Well, it's fine. I'm ready for this, I promise. Just...don't leave right after, okay?" he pouts.

"Oh, Haechan, of course I won't leave," you reply and surprise yourself in that you really mean it.

Kissing him deeper, you finish what he started and take off his jeans. You touch his cock softly, as if it's the most precious thing in the world. You've done this hundreds of time with guys you didn't give a fuck about and felt nothing, the actions methodical and quick. But this, right now, is more special than your limited vocabulary could ever describe. You realize you genuinely don't want to hurt him. You bow down and envelop your lips around his length. He gets hard easily, considering it's his first time. You suck on him a couple of times and he cums even faster than you anticipated. But for some reason, it's never tasted sweeter.

"S-sorry," Haechan mumbles shyly.

"It's okay, my sweet boy," you coo in his ear, after you're done swallowing his cum. You run your hands through his hair once again. God, it's so silky. You could never get enough of him.

"W-what do I d-do now?" he asks cutely.

"Whatever you want, mon ange," you kiss him once more.

"C-can I eat you out?" Haechan inquires.

Oh, so virgin boy is not so clueless, after all.

"Sure, I guess," you shrug. Not really a huge fan of that, the few times guys have offered, they quickly grow tired of it and could never make you cum as hard as you could by yourself. But it's okay. If Haechan wants to...

"Just...guide me, okay?" he pleads adorably and soon, you find out he needs no guidance at all.

What he lacks in experience, he definitely makes up for with enthusiasm. He seems so eager to please you, licking and biting and kissing your pussy that you cum faster than you have in...well, ever, actually. You grip his hair for support, panting and chanting his name like a prayer.

"Was that alright?" Haechan feigns a self-conscious smile, though judging by your reaction, his smile is already turning into a proud smirk. That bastard.

"Are you kidding? It was...out of this world," you say honestly. Funny thing about honesty is how something that used to be so difficult for you comes so easily to you when you're with Haechan.

"Glad to hear," he grins widely. You want to kiss him every second till the rest of your life. The thought terrifies you.

"I s-should go," you try to get up. You can't do this. You can't be the one to take his virginity. Considering how this all started. It'd be too cruel. He should be with someone special, someone loves him more than anything, someone who'd never hurt him.

"W-what, w-why?" Haechan asks, grabbing your wrist in a panic, not wanting to let go. "I thought you liked me."

"I do like you. I like you so much. That's the problem."

"It doesn't have to be," Haechan disagrees, pushing you back on the bed. "Please, let me."

And here you thought you'd be the one begging him to have sex with you.

"O-okay," you can no longer find it in yourself to deny him. To deny your growing feelings...

Haechan digs through his jeans and pulls out a condom. His hands are shaking and he's having a hard time putting it on so you help him and pull him out of his misery. You give him a soft, reassuring smile, paired with a quick squeeze of his hand. He smiles back just as fondly.

And then he slides inside you so easily. As if he belongs there. As if he's meant to be yours. You kiss him desperately to distract yourself from the truth. To hide the tears that are threatening to come out.

"You f-feel so g-good," Haechan grunts in your ear.

"So do you, baby," you admit sincerely.

This time around, he lasts longer, fucking you until your release comes for the second time. He cums right after, with his hands touching your cheeks, his lips on your neck and his heart on his sleeve.

"Wanna stay inside you forever," he whispers once it's over.

"That wouldn't be very practical," you chuckle. Though you would like nothing more.

But he gets up to get rid of the condom and then comes back, hugging you tightly.

"Can you be my girlfriend?" Haechan blurts out. "I know you probably don't like clingy guys but...considering you've been pursuing me for the past three months, I thought..."

"I'll be your girlfriend," you agree rightaway, not giving a shit about the consequences. "Of course, I will."

He laughs, the sound so precious and filled with joy it breaks your heart.

Maybe he never has to know how it all began. Maybe you could hide it from him forever. Maybe...you could allow yourself to be happy. Just this once.

Soon, Haechan falls asleep, feeling comfortable around you. You know what you have to do, but you feel like shit anyway. You secretly take a picture of his half-naked figure sleeping soundly. You sigh quietly and send the photo to your stepbrother Jeno.

Then, you put your phone down, trying to forget about the whole ordeal. You cuddle up next to Haechan and enjoy his warmth until you fall asleep.

The next morning, you wake up before Haechan and quickly run out to make him some breakfast. You have no idea when his parents will be home but you don't want this to be their first impression of you. So, you leave the breakfast on Haechan's nightstand with a little note.

See you at school, boyfriend! XOXO, Y/N.

Rushing back home, you are satisfied when Jeno gives you the car keys to his Jaguar without protesting. Your stepbrother may be kinda freaky, but at least he's a man of his word. What gives you the creeps is the slight smirk on his face as he hands you the keys. As if he didn't lose the bet. As if he's the winner.

You try not to think about it too much, as you get dressed for school, excited to see Haechan again. You still can't believe he asked you to be his girlfriend. That pretty, sweet boy makes you so unbelievably happy. You look forward to spending more moments in his sunny company.

Haechan wakes up to the smell of warm pancakes, covered with chocolate and strawberries and accompanied by coffee. It immediately brings a smile on his face, which only becomes wider as he sees the little note you left him. He giddily enjoys the breakfast and then rushes to get dressed for school. You're his girlfriend! He's never had a girlfriend and he's so pleased you're being so nice to him. Maybe you really are better than people say and all that past drama was just everyone being jealous of your beauty and popularity...This is going to be the best day of his life.

But when he gets to school, everything changes. He knows that he's considered one of the "losers" in the hierarchy but usually people just ignore him and don't pay attention to him. He's fine with that, really! But today, whenever he walks by, people are snickering and whispering something. It feels so weird and makes him uncomfortable. He can't quite hear what they're saying and this kind of unexpected treatment is killing him.

He goes to his friend Mark to ask him what's up.

"Bro...I don't know how to tell you this," Mark looks away, as if the thing is so bad he can't even say it.

Haechan impatiently begs him to just enlighten him as to why everyone is giving him weird looks all day.

Mark sighs and shows him a secreenshot. There, he sees a photo of himself, half-naked and sleeping soundly. Fuck, that's from last night. And what the messages between you and your stepbrother Jeno reveal...shocks Haechan out of his senses. No...no way it was just a bet. No way you spent three months courting him for a fucking car?! This can't be true. It's gotta be Photoshopped or something.

"Listen, buddy, I warned you that she likes messing with guys and then leaving them."

"No, she...she really seemed to care about me," Haechan is still in denial as his vision becomes blurred with tears.

He runs away, unable to believe what is happening. He needs to speak to you. Hear it from your own lips. To be sure this is real and not just a sick joke.

When he finally finds you, he grabs your wrist as he did just yesterday. But this time, he's not doing to get you to stay. But because he's furious.

"Is it true? Did you really make a bet with Jeno on whether you can fuck me? Did you seriously do all of that over a car?!"

Your facial expressions are enough of an answer. Guilt. Something you never thought you were capable of.

"H-haechan, I swear I can explain," you beg him to hear you out.

"Explain? How can you explain that?" Haechan shakes his head, letting go of your hand. You try to touch him again but he shoves you off furiously.

"It was just a bet at the very beginning. But somewhere along the way, I really started having feelings for you, I promise," you cry passionately. "I don't care about the car, I'll fucking thrash it, I just wanted to get Jeno off my back."

Haechan takes a step back, feeling so betrayed. So...used.

"Whatever you say, I don't think I can believe you anymore. Was it fun, at least? Was this all just a wicked game to you?"

"N-no, it wasn't, I swear it," you are bawling at this point, feeling so pitiful. You don't care if the whole school sees. You only care that Haechan understands. You never meant things to go this far... "I truly care about you, Haechan."

"Yeah?" he scoffs, annoyed. "You only care about yourself."

And with that he leaves. And you lose the one person you truly, genuinely loved.

This is the worst day of your life.

Throughout the rest of the school year you don't dare approach him again. You know you fucked up so badly. You can't even look at that stupid car, let alone consider driving it, so you sell it. Partly because you're angry at Jeno for spreading the screenshot around the whole school. Partly because you no longer want to have anything that will remind you of the biggest mistake you ever made.

With the money you get for the car and some of your own savings, you secretly sponsor Haechan, Mark and their other friends' singing club. You don't even want Haechan to find out. It just...feels right. They could use the extra help.

As the final year of school nears its end, you begin to imagine a future where you never get to see Haechan again. At least, during the past couple of months you had the privilege of looking at him from a distance. But the idea of a world with no Haechan is like a world with no sun.

So, you decide you have to do something as soon as possible. He doesn't have to forgive you or accept you as a girlfriend again. You just want to be in his life in some form.

As you approach the school's radio booth, you feel all the bad things of your past coming back to bite you in the ass. Maybe you deserve to be forever alone. But you need to give it a try. It's your last chance.

"Hi, Mark," you greet your ex-boyfriend.

"What do you want, Y/N?" he sighs, not at all happy to see you.

"Before I get to that, let me just say how sorry I am for the way I treated you in the past. I'm really happy you're finally with someone who appreciates you for how totally awesome you are."

"That's...unexpectedly nice of you to say," Mark eyes you suspiciously. "We were never right for each other anyway. So, what do you want?"

"I want to apologize to Haechan. Through a message broadcasted to the whole school..."

"Gee, and you couldn't do it the old-fashioned way, face to face?" Mark jokes.

"Haechan doesn't wanna see me," you say, fully convinced.

"How would you know without trying?" Mark asks. Has...Haechan told him something? No, you couldn't allow yourself to hope.

"I just know, okay? Please, let me do this. We're graduating in one week, this might be my last chance to talk to Haechan."

Mark nods, agreeing.

"Five minutes," he takes off his headphones and vacates the seat in the radio booth for you.

"Thank you! I mean it," you have never been more grateful for anything.

Mark shrugs as if it's not a big deal and leaves you to it.

"I want to dedicate this so someone I hurt," you speak into the microphone. "Someone who didn't deserve it. Someone very dear to me. Someone I still care deeply about. Haechan, I'm so incredibly sorry, please, give me another chance."

And you start singing.

The world was on fire and no one could save me but you It's strange what desire will make foolish people do I never dreamed that I'd meet somebody like you And I never dreamed that I'd lose somebody like you

Your voice is off-key a couple of times and halfway through the song you start crying inconsolably, all the guilt and pain consuming you. The whole school is probably laughing at you but you can no longer bring yourself to care. The only thing that matters is that Haechan hears this.

When you finish the song, you leave the radio booth and are surprised to find Haechan right outside the door, willing to talk to you.

"H-haechan," you stammer and barely resist the urge to give him a hug. You don't want him to feel pressured or anything.

"I'll give you a second chance on one condition. I want Jeno's Jaguar," Haechan jokes.

"Too bad, I already sold it and donated the money to your music club so you guys can get new instruments and stuff."

"YOU DID WHAT?!" Haechan exclaims. He doesn't sound angry, though, just...shocked.

"Sorry, sorry, I know it wasn't my place. But it was so unfair the football team and the cheerleading team get so much money but no one cares about the arts."

"Okay, okay, I guess this is better than that ugly car," Haechan chuckles. The car is not ugly. Not even a little bit. But you appreciate Haechan all the more for saying that.

"Can you really forgive me?" you ask desperately, eyes still watery.

"I can forgive you but I'll probably never forget," Haechan admits with a sigh. "If you break my trust again..."

"I won't, I swear!" you vow seriously. "I'll spend the rest of my life making it up to you and treating you the way you deserve. You're the best person I've ever met, Haechan. If you'll have me, I want to be around you forever."

"Forever is a long time" Haechan muses out loud. "Considering we're going to college...I don't even know where you're applying."

"I'll go wherever you go," you say hurriedly.

"You can't give up on your dreams just for me, though."

"I'm not. You're my dream, Haechan. You're my sun and I want to be in your orbit. If you'll allow me, that is," you can't take it any longer and hold his hand softly, asking, begging for that second chance not to slip away.

"I'll allow it," Haechan smiles sweetly. "Let's run towards our dreams together, from now on."

"I won't let you down," you promise from the depths of your heart.

And you finally, truly mean it.

The End

[aihoshiino]

Hey there! Love your analyses of Ai and ao3 fanfics! They're so good and you always bring interesting points to the table! I want to know your thoughts on something (it's possible that I sent this ask a while back but I have a feeling it never came through lol, my Tumblr/Internet be broken sometimes): In chapter 140 (not 100% canon, but I think the brought up subjects still resonate), page 5, Hikaru says that the student should come to the teacher, while Ai says don't just invite a man to your house. Do you think this has a link with their traumas? It also makes me wonder why exactly Ai would say something like that. Could it have a link with Ayumi's boyfriend (="man") that ogled her? I would like to know your thoughts on how this boyfriend would've affected Ai, her image on men or just relationships/sex in general. Would it even have a big impact on those factors? Thank you for your thoughts!

Thank you so much! 💜 Looking at my inbox I do think Tumblr just ate it the first time you sent this….. Functional webbed site……………..

Honestly it's so hard to know what to make of those HikaAi movie scenes in general but especially off the back of Hikaru being like "fake and gay lol" about it. The characterization feels additive and consistent with the real Ai and Hikaru but at least one of these scenes was written by an author who had literally never met them. And while they do communicate things to us about their respective baggage, it's complicated by the fact that this is in-universe fiction written by an in-universe author. So it's like - is this characterization Aka Akasaka is trying to communicate to us or characterization Yoriko Kichijouji is trying to communicate to the audience of 15 Year Lie? Both? It's a mess!

THAT SAID, Hikaru's "fake and gay lol" is explicitly challenged and undermined by the narrative and the whole point of the confrontation is slapping him with the fact that (among other things), he doesn't understand Ai half as well as he thinks he does. With that in mind and given that it doesn't directly contradict anything else we know about the real Ai, we can probably treat it as true enough for the purposes of using it as jumping off points for discussion.

I don't think Kamiki's line is super important on its own as its really just the setup for Ai's response - so the talk as a whole is really more about communicating things about Ai to us, through Hikaru's POV. And I think strictly in this context, Ai's line there is less to do with her mom and her experience growing up in Ayumi's house (I actually got the impression that the movie barely touched on that stuff? but I could be wrong) and more about her like… responding to other people's expectations without necessarily fully understanding them. I do think the specific way she phrases it is probably parroting something Ayumi may have said to her though - similarly to the way she calls her past self a 'nasty brat' in the Da Vinci interview which was just like… so pointed and unkind I can only assume it was something Ayumi called her in the past that just burrowed its way into her brain forever like that shit does.

Overall, it's part of a much broader pattern of behaviour on Ai's part of, as I've described it to friends, performing normalcy to the point of abnormality. She imitates the end of the "normal behaviour" process tree without understanding or following any of the steps that get there. I can't believe I'm reaching for this reference lol but I was rewatching a bunch of CJ the X vids last week and in their essay about Cat Valentine from the show Victorious, they describe some of the (certainly accidental) neurodivergent coding in Cat's character in a way that really pinged me as also speaking to the way Ai is also (much more intentionally) coded:

"[…] There's a big difference between following social procedure naturally and Attempting To Behave As One Might Act. […] She mimics convention, while fundamentally misinterpreting what part of convention is important in the first place."

That's really the cornerstone to a lot of Ai's behaviour - the combo of her social isolation and her neurodivergence means that she does not have the same frame of reference that most other people absorb from their peers and families as they grow up. So instead she just sort of… looks at the people around her, figures out what successful social interactions look like from the outside, and tries to replicate that to varying degrees of success.

Her argument with Nino is probably my favourite example of this - Nino is all but screaming at her to have a normal fucking human being conversation with her and Ai just sits there like ^_^ Nooooo don't be insecure your so sexy aha. no wonder nino wanted to kill her with a brick HGSJSSKS. And like - from an outsider perspective, you can see exactly why this happens! This is basically Ai short-circuiting because none of her usual scripted responses are resolving this situation. She defaults to the fawning response because she doesn't know what else to do, even though it should be clear it's making the issue worse.

It would be sooooo easy to just make this a one sided instance of Nino being cruel to her but it's really just the inevitable and unavoidable conclusion of Ai's instincts towards avoidance and fear of vulnerability. And it's not Ai's FAULT she's like that. it's learned behaviour. she is the way she is because allowing herself to be sincere and vulnerable only ever gets her hurt, but it still hurts her and the people around her as a result (like with Kamiki).

oh my god i'm like 5k words in and i haven't even touched the question you directly asked LSKDJKSSK. I MEAN, I ASSUME AT THIS POINT PEOPLE SEND ME ASKS LIKE THIS KNOWING THE RISKS OF GETTING AN ESSAY IN RETURN…

ANYWAY, I definitely think Ai's experiences growing up in Ayumi's house (incl. ayumi's pedo boyfriend lmao) were a huge part of why she ends up with such an utterly fucked concept of love and relationships. When I see people talking about this aspect of her character, I feel like it gets downplayed because the series itself is more about her life as an idol but her childhood is the literal foundation of everything that follows - Ai becomes an idol because she wants to know how to love people and be loved in return and the reason she's never experienced that is because of how Ayumi raised her and how she failed to protect Ai from and properly respond to Ai's narrow brush with that type of victimization.

It's hard to really say exactly how this specific incident impacted her with how little we know about how all that went down, but I definitely think it was part of a pretty consistent pattern in her childhood of having failed/toxic relationships modeled for her - there was All That with Ayumi's boyfriend but we also know that Ai's biodad was not in a relationship with Ayumi at the time Ai was growing up and that she saw him pretty infrequently. It's not hard for me to imagine that Ai's kind of wishywashy confusion as to wtf marriage even is expressed in 45510 is the result of seeing dogshit relationship after dogshit relationship fall apart in her formative years. And I definitely think The Incident (& Ayumi's reaction to it - she herself admits her behavior escalated as a result) probably planted the seed in Ai's brain of her being like… more aware of sex than she should have been at the age she was?

In fact, ironically, Hikaru's line about 'giving your body to body to receive love' was actually how I've always interpreted Ai - pretty much the entire time I've been brainrotted about her, my interpretation has always been that Hikaru was not her first boyfriend or sexual partner and that she had probably run through a couple of extremely fast burning short term relationships before they met.that escalated to physical intimacy very quick and burned out just as fast.

I don't necessarily have a ton of capital-E Evidence for this other than a line or two in the series and also just Vibes. Not only can abuse and neglect in childhood lead to premature sexual behaviour in teens (as a sort of attention/intimacy seeking mechanism) but Akane specifically pegs Ai as having obvious emotional imbalances typical of a person who engages in this kind of early sexual behaviour, but then notes that it settled down after she turned 15 and notes 'did she meet someone nice?', implicitly tying her improvement in behaviour to Kamiki - but then of course, that means her destructive behaviour can't have been the result of sleeping with him. In addition, the TL that was available for the manga when I was getting back into the series had Ai refer to Kamiki as an ex during their phonecall, implying she had more than one.

This is one of those things where like… if you are normal about this character it probably doesn't really matter but unfortunately for everyone else i'm insane ;SKFLSNMSLSMKA So stuff like this is really interesting for me to dig into. One of the things I find really fascinating about Ai that mostly exists in subtext and idk how intentional it even was on Akasaka's part is this sense of internalized shame and even disgust she has directed at her own body and sexuality. She calls herself 'dirty' and 'impure', and her final words to Ryosuke are her more or less apologizing to him for that - and idk, I think that aspect of her character (and OnK's ongoing refutations that Ai being 'dirty' in this way is in any way something she should have been rebuked or punished for) is that much more interesting if all that is the case vs the more straightforward and "pure" (for lack of a better word) version of events where she met Hikaru and they fell in love and had sex… if that makes sense.

Honestly Ai's relationship with like, sex and intimacy and sex in the context of a loving relationship being healing and reclaiming for her is one of those things I have so much fun writing in the context of RP and stuff but if I continued rambling about it here I would go on all day lol and this post is already so long. IN ANOTHER ASK, PERHAPS……..

[vampkitty66]

Manga Review: Wolf Girl And Black Prince

MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS!!!

These are my opinions

Wolf Girl And Black Prince is a manga series with 16 volumes and even ended up getting its own anime. It is labeled as a shojo romance and has become one of those "classic shojo must reads" and thats exactly why I read it.

The actual plot is nothing special, it follows Erika (the wolf girl) and Kyouya (the black prince) and they strike up an interesting deal with one another. It all started with Erika lying to her friends about having a boyfriend, when in actuality, she didn't. They ask to see a photo of him one day and thats when they start to doubt her, so in order for her to keep her lie, she snaps a photo of a random guy which happens to be Kyouya. Turns out Kyouya and Erika attend the same school and she eventually asks him to be her fake boyfriend. Kyouya agrees but has one condition, that Erika be his "wolf girl" pretty much saying he wants her as his pet dog.

I really wanted to like this, and at a few points I did. Kyouya is the shittiest red flag I've seen in a shojo so far. I like some red flags but this was one I could not get behind. Due to this, i thought his development would be great, I've even been told that his development is good and he gets less icky. Ive been lied to, there was a point in the story where I actually thought he was almost redeeming himself, but then he went back to being a shitty manipulator/gaslighter again. Erika literally put up with emotional abuse and it made me frustrated. Whenever he was a huge dick she'd forgive him and run straight in his arms EVERY SINGLE TIME. There are so many scenes I could bring up that made me infuriated, like when they went on a date and Erika wanted to look at the cherry blossoms. Kyouya was being such an ass to her, it always seemed like he would never put in much of an effort to do want she wanted to do. Also when Erika worked at the cafe to help out Takeru and Kyouya got so mad but then proceeded to work there and do the exact same thing she was doing.... 😐FUCKING HYPOCRITE

The thing that irked me the most though, was when she had decided what she wanted to do after they graduate. The plan was to attend school near Kyouya, if im not mistaken, but that was until she found something she was passionate about, a future career. Kyouya being Kyouya made her feel guilty and awful for wanting to leave, saying things like he was going to break up with her if she did, forcing her to stay. It had to take Erikas friend to slap some sense into Kyouya and tell him he's a piece of shit for saying that to Erika, for him to actually go and apologize and tell her to go follow her dreams.

I still enjoyed reading some parts, but imo this is just too problematic for me to enjoy fully. I just can't stand Kyouya most of the time. I will definitely not be watching the anime either. I'm not sure if i'd ever suggest this to someone, I mean unless they like really toxic stories 🤷‍♀️

It just blows my mind that people actually like him or fan girl over him (no offensive if you're one of those people, you like who you like i guess) but I don't think its okay for any man to treat a women so poorly like that. I know this is fiction, but I know when I was younger, i would look at men like this and truly believe that i needed a man like that or thats how relationships are. I think reading this as adult is fine because we know better. I much prefer healthy relationships though and will most likely stick to that after reading this.

Final rating 6/10

[thisisevenharderthannamingablog]

Liveblogging notes for ep. 12. I can't believe there's only two left.

Oh no, Chay, I know you're young but don't be like that.

Porsche is still in house uniform, so I guess he's still part of the security team, just not bodyguarding Kinn?

As I said last time, this eavesdropping thing never ends well. I keep forgetting that this is Porsche's first-ever relationship, which might explain some of his paranoia. Kinn's lots of things and lots of them aren't nice, but he's not gonna cheat on you. (Even if the boys miss him, or at least his wallet.) And it turns out that Kinn has gone off alone to meet with a guy about actual mob business. Kinn arranged for Porsche's uncle to lose all his money to pressure Porsche to take the job way back in episode 1 so they wouldn't lose the house?

This is not particularly surprising to me, but it surprises the hell out of Porsche.

Talking about blood types with your torturer, not on my bingo card sorry. Pete you're gonna get tazed some more aren't you. (There's no way hedgehog is even in the book. Literally no one has a pet hedgehog.)

Porsche is pissed. Why was Korn so intent on hiring Porsche as to go to all this trouble? Kinn still doesn't know, was just following dad's orders. Wants to help so much. They're both upset.

Korn is back to doing pottery, so we're doing all kinds of early-season callbacks now. He already knows what Porsche wants to ask - but first he offers to answer a question he didn't even have, about the car crash? The driver of the other car was a friend of Korn's.

Korn claims to have covered up the crash to help his friend. To have forgotten the matter until Porsche turned up that night Kinn was attacked, then made the connection and tried to make up for what he had done by giving Porsche the job, that he didn't tell the truth because Porsche would not have accepted help.

This is complete nonsense, obviously, and it feels like a diversion. Why did Korn even bring the accident into it?

I think this is the first direct criticism Kinn has ever offered Korn. "Went too far" is putting it mildly, but you have to start somewhere.

Korn was right about one thing; Porsche does not, in fact, accept his help.

Vegas' hedgehog is sick. He leaves the key. Escape attempt #2? Nope, turns out that Pete can't leave the soggiest of wet cats sitting alone on the lawn to ugly cry about his dead pet. This is officially the weirdest pair I have encountered in my journeys through fiction.

Funeral for a hedgehog.

Pete looks like he doesn't know what to do with this information. Same, my guy, same. Gun, why would you have a child take care of hedgehogs? They are not even domesticated. Was the point just to get him used to everything he cares for dying? Because that is VERY messed up, I'm kinda impressed actually.

I don't know how the writers are doing this, what alchemy is going on here. I can't say I ship it, but this is compelling af.

HOLY SHIT PETE just fucking GOING for it?! Gonna fall for a monster, don't mess around I guess. Again with the dizzy camera movement, too. Remember when Pete was shy and kinda goofy?! Cause um... whew. No wonder he didn't want to kiss Porsche, boy's way too vanilla for him.

In a neck-snapping change of tone, the Kittisawats are back at home--and Kinn went with them. Good job, stand by your man. Learn to do laundry, god knows you gave the main house staff enough work. We've come a long way since episode 5, but Porsche is worried his rich boyfriend won't adjust well?

Porsche, remember that Kinn was miserable until you came along? That he would literally rather have stayed lost in the forest with you than go home? You can only get through so many days by means of functional alcoholism and rented sex; he'll be fine. And you were right, he is cute when he smiles.

Teh and Time came to visit? Oh my word, suddenly I am Concerned. Domestic shenanigans are ruined by Korn's arrival, with a picture of the other driver from the accident -- and the guy's address. Innnteresting play, Korn, very interesting. You are down to very few pieces now; what's the idea?

So they go to the address, and Porsche has a gun, and Kinn is offering to go with him because your first murder is a very emotional time for anybody I guess and he's willing to step up. (How many times has Kinn been given a photo and an address and a totally unspoken expectation by his father?). However, the guy's granddaughter is right there so... nah, not doing that.

Super-interesting use of mirrors in this bit? Like it's almost stepping the camera back from the sheer intimacy of it while Porsche breaks down crying.

Back to the bar, where it all started, for a fresh start. Porsche is smiling again, so that worked, and their song is playing. I'm a little worried about all the red light in that scene though.

Kim finally shows up at school and finds out that Chay ditched the whole thing, and is perturbed. Yeah, your actions have consequences, idiot. Chay meanwhile has read the manual: He is dying his hair blue and going out with friends to a bar he's too young for. (At least those friends know that Porsche will kill them if he finds out, although they might not realize that should be taken literally.)

Chay you are gonna get SO sick. Kid's already drunk for the first time, now you want to give him drugs? Not to worry, Kim materializes out of nowhere to slap the guy down. You two already broke up, how are you having a breakup fight now?

More food. That's right Kinn, tell him he's pretty. He is.

Deadbeat Uncle shows up out of nowhere? What the hell? Wants to send his regards to Korn and tell Porsche not to trust any of them, give Porsche a photo of his family that HAS KORN IN IT and ask for money?

[muertawrites]

eddie munson and food

this man lives on cup noodles and cereal. he doesn't know what a vegetable is and thinks black pepper is a fancy spice. the most complicated things he knows how to make are grilled cheese and kraft dinner (she says like she's not american), and those are rare. if you can cook or like to cook, though, he'll eat whatever you serve him - he's really not as picky as he seems.

grocery shopping with him is always an adventure. it's almost like shopping with a kid; if he had his way, your weekly meals would consist of doritos and pizza rolls. you're constantly having to tell him to put things back, keeping an eye on the cart to make sure he doesn't sneak in as much junk food as he can. he's also super chaotic in a grocery store - hanging off the end of the cart while you push it, drumming his knuckles on everything he passes, kicking random boxes off the shelves to see if he can catch them before they hit the floor.

"can you be chill for like five seconds?" you plead as a fifth box of instant mashed potatoes smacks down at his feet.

"no. absolutely not."

asking him to get things for you to keep him occupied is also a disaster.

"baby, we need lettuce."

"... yeah?"

"you brought me spinach."

"it's green and leafy. it's lettuce."

he thinks the fact that you can make things from scratch, no matter what it is or how simple the process, is magic. he'll lean over the counter and just watch you cook, never absorbing anything but always amazed by your ability. even if you can only make something as elaborate as spaghetti with canned sauce, it's like a gourmet meal to him.

if there are any comfort or ethnic foods you make often, he wants to hear all about them; they're also his favorites, purely because they're yours and he loves listening to you talk about them.

for the hispanic babes: he's mesmerized by tortillas. will hover in the kitchen just to watch you make them.

"so that's how you're so friggin strong. rolling those things out and making them your bitch."

"you flip those things with your hands? babe, that's so fuckin metal!"

(i love making tortillas from scratch store bought tortillas ain't shit)

he's a habitual stealer of your food - anything you have, he'll sneak a bite or a sip of it, no matter what he has to eat. once he finishes his fries, he'll take a couple of yours. he regularly leans over your shoulder to drink from your straw. if he comes home and you're already eating dinner, he'll grab a fork or a spoon and poke it into your dish instead of getting his own; chinese and indian food are common in your house because of this.

was surprised to find out there was more than one kind of cheese.

his favorite thing to cook for you is butter noodles. if you're feeling lazy or are a little short on cash, he'll pop open two packs of instant ramen and slather the plain noodles in butter and black pepper. bone apple teeth.

you help him make baked goods for his side business. he loves everything you bake (if you bake), and whether you like to partake in the ganja or not, he appreciates you taking the extra time to add it to his favorite recipes.

(this is just me projecting) it actually started because you don't smoke. you're sensitive to pot and get really bad paranoia and anxiety, even from a contact high. eddie, being the loving and protective man he is, refuses to smoke in the house / apartment / trailer / whatever because of this. you felt bad in winter when he had to suffer the cold, so you did a little research and figured out how to baste some of his stash in butter to add to cookies and brownies. he proposed to you after taking the first bite (and was actually kind of serious about it).

he started sharing your special baked goods with some of his more well-liked clients just because he was so proud of you and wanted to show off your skill, but they became super popular. now you make batches just for him to sell from time to time; they're regularly gone within a day.

hates fish; it makes him nauseous. big fan of red licorice.

likes to feed you. instead of offering you things to try, he'll hold his hand or fork / spoon up to your lips for you to bite from. gets a little turned on when his fingers "accidentally" slip into your mouth. loves it when you lick things off his fingers.

will sometimes belch in your face just to gross you out and annoy you. he thinks the way you scrunch your face up when he does it is cute. always kisses your nose immediately after. he's a little shit.

[cishetamine]

the worst person in the world (2021) letterboxd review (already crossposted this to twt but reposting here for………'research'[you'll see)]

funny how i originally thought this movie was adapted from a novel even BEFORE a major character contracted a terminal illness (aka like one of the most common things that can happen to a character in a Realistic Fiction Novel, right after infidelity). it just has that MFA vibe!

this movie feels like a deceptive advertisement for living in norway. isn't it mostly cold there ? (update: i have looked up the average winter monthly temperatures in oslo & theyre actually pretty much the same as where i live. whooops!!)

the music in this is good when it’s good & rly annoying when it’s not

hilarious and insane that norway’s indie comics scene is (or is at least depicted as being) exactly the same as in the US—i.e., dominated by edgy cishet dudes all too willing to use mere shock factor as an excuse for originality

like…he has characters whose names are translated as “Dick Wolf Dick” & “Pedo the Parrot” which, come ON but also that literally is what these guys are like……like. So true besty

& yet ! i also can't help but sympathize w/ the comic boyfriend re: the Great Endless Cancel Culture Debate bc ppl have also told me stuff like, “i hate all the people in your comics”

which like! Fair, i don't intend for my characters to be Nice People (well ok some of them are well-intentioned but also kinda hopeless/lost causes)

but also the bf (well, ex-bf—in more ways than 1!!) is exactly right—comics are where i put all the horrible thoughts in my brain that i can’t exorcize by any other means!

love that she shares my hobby of “lying to strangers at parties”……she’s so cool

this movie has a lot of fun little moments that feel pointily realistic: (e.g.: getting interrupted repeatedly while fooling around w/ someone at a party bc you’ve decided to canoodle one another in the Designated Bed Where Everyone Puts Their {Admittedly Extremely Soft + Sensual} Coats, and now everyone is coming to get their jackets & keeps walking in on u while you're trying to snog)

^ another such moment: when her dad says that the link to the libfem girlpower-vibes sex article she wrote doesn’t work, & it’s up to us to decide if there’s actually an issue with his phone or he was just being squeamish abt sex

i wouldn’t call these "wow just like irl lmao" moments exactly the same as the ones in a coen bros movie, but they’re similar imo ? like, those are always my favorite things abt their films (the violence is fine but usually kind of boring to me at this point. like, okay, he has a gun, great. can we bring back the wood chipper? no, too expensive? well how about the cattle stunner thingy, do you still have that thingamajig laying around?)

nah i'm talking like, the way they make the pauses in an ordinary conversation as awkwardly real as possible. ofc when they do it it's often bc there's some sort of double entendre[not necessarily sexual] going on, like w/ the confusion re: the kidnapping in fargo or the student trying to cheat in a serious man. but lebowski has a lot of fun realistic conversationy stuff that's just plain weird, which i guess i'm comparing this more to?

wait. Holy shit. is it at all true that “most women don’t like giving blowjobs”!?!?!?!? Like What the FUCK. is this a straight vs gay thing??? i don’t get it……what could turn u on more than being good at making yr partner cum??? (ok well i can think of several things actually but literally why are u having sex w/ someone unless it’s mutually enjoyable i——???? honestly this was maybe the least believable part of the movie 4 me :// can straight women PLEASE weigh in on thisPLEAAAASEEEEE!!!!!!)

re: “they’ve housebroken bobcat” I HAVE TO KNOW whether the bit abt removing the cartoon cat’s butthole was in response to CATS (2019).

this movie feels like propaganda from the norwegian board of tourism. case in point: basically all of the action happens in summer. also, that scene where she runs outside and the world is frozen in time feels kinda like an ad. sorry if my brain has been broken by america superb owl commercial culture :(

it’s fascinating to see a film that’s so contemporary & relatable but also not quite my own life??? kinda like the gaggle of cishet-presenting girls i saw on the train recently—bc i was aware of most of the celebrity gossip & news stuff they were talking abt, but i still came away feeling like i inhabit a very different—albeit parallel—world from them. for more context, here is my best try at a transcript of their convo: www.tumblr.com/cishetamine/701574180800479232/lily-rose-depp-they-were-calling-her-a-nepo

(p.s. please don't get mad at me for snooping on strangers, i'm just one of many credulous clods who once heard that u can get better at writing by transcribing how ppl really talk. & from there i got obsessed w/ doing this whenever someone is having an interesting convo near me. also most importantly, i didn't write down any personally identifying info & also these ppl are totally anonymous anyway. so plz enjoy @ yr leisure!)

love how this dude reminisces abt being a Record Store / Video Store / Comic Store guy !!! i.e., he’s an alt bro!!! love that for him. it's so cute that norway has hipsters too<3 squee!

also luv how "i just took a dna test turns out / i'm 3.1% sami" is the norwegian equivalent of “my great grandmother was a cherokee princess” cosplaying indigeneity

^ overall tho, the extinction rebellion-core gf feels kinda way too flat & one-note……but also i literally know ppl who are like that!! like i've had friends who were into radical veganism + environmentalism & it did seem kind of culty……which is not to say that ppl shouldn't be vegan or environmentalist, of course! but i have absolutely seen it turn into Unhealthy Polycule Drama & we've just seen where that leads, cough FTX / EAs, cough

no but it’s fascinating how this depiction of norwegian ~radical~ environmentalism compares to the scene in the US. for instance i feel like i’ve never heard an american state that they chose not to fly across the ocean bc it would increase their carbon footpri——wait no actually yes i have heard this, but specifically in the context of academic conferences, never like, regarding travel for fun. Interesting difference here!

(^ also, those were basically only professors on twitter who were saying that, not ppl i know in real life. so another level of remove from me)

[meanwhile i would chop off one of my less-important fingers in exchange for being able to fly across the ocean, environment be damned] [anyway tbh i figure it wouldn’t be thaaaaaat evil so long as i was able to stay in that other country for at least several months, as opposed to business travelers who frequently fly back & forth. but i would want to stay bc i would be desperate to learn the language!

which language, you ask? why, my answer is—Yes!]

anyway enough feeling sorry for myself for not being rich. time to feel sorry for imaginary movie ppl instead!

“i don’t want to be the sensible choice while she’s the sexy one” damn that makes a lot of sense! i definitely feel that re: pressure to be Exciting & Spontaneous & Ever-Flexible so that ppl will find u attractive / alluring instead of setting boundaries (given the choice between setting a boundary vs having sex with someone hot, i will almost always choose the latte——ah, but you see, posting this in a public forum where people i've had sex with can read it is itself an act of performati——

So about the main character. We don’t get much interiority of her, like aside from the stuff at the beginning abt her various major + career changes, we don't get to hear directly the thoughts she is thinking—not just bc we don't hear much in the way of interior monologue, but also bc she doesn't explain herself to the ppl around her.

like, she didn't tell her then-bf that there was in fact another guy—which like, honestly, if i were in her situation, i might also take the coward's route! especially if she feared jealous retribution from her current bf. but we don't know if she fears that, bc we never see her talk to her FRIENDS, bc for all we know, she doesn't have any!!!!

which feels very……hard for me to believe? bc i have never met a woman who did not have Friends. (& supposedly guys tend to have fewer pals, but even they usually seem to at least have like, Gamer Buds, idk! i know i always did back when i was a Gamer in high school, even if i was kinda withdrawn irl.)

so i'm left wondering—are we supposed to see her as genuinely friendless? & if so, what does that say abt her?

or are we just supposed to assume that the movie doesn't want to show her friends? if that's the case, why would it make that decision??

if we as viewers are supposed to actually believe that she doesn't have friends that she can confide in whom she is not romantically involved with……it rly paints a very specific (& melancholy!) picture of her as a person. bc that's a stereotype i mostly associate w/ Isolated Guys, but yet she is not that! (i would like to be her friend & talk abt photography..)

still not sure how i feel abt the freeze-time gimmick. Like on the 1 hand—it’s giving crazy ex girlfriend tv show. But also………idk it looks kinda cool regardless!

between this & tár, i feel sooo…………something abt watching 2 movies in a short timespan that contain Bitingly Contemporary Cancellation Scenes, & also cell phones………i………hmm.

thinking abt gretchen from twitter, a noble woman fighting for a just cause (telling adult YA fans to get a life), yet whose ratioing ultimately feels sorta pyrrhic to me, such that i have to wonder if it's worth the stress it presumably causes her.

but also, i am much more of a wimp than many people! for instance, a lot of ppl are strong tough athletes who put themselves thru a lot of pain because they find it enjoyable overall! whereas personally i only do exercise when i can convince myself that it's fun (e.g., biking places, swimming in water that isn't freezing cold)

so what i'm saying is perhaps gretchen sees being a Culture Warrior as a noble pursuit &/or lives for the thrill of the takedown, whereas i'm probably conflict-averse to a fault. (also, on a materialist level, she gets plenty of publicity for fighting the good fight—& as an author, building an audience is pretty crucial to keeping the lights on!)

anyway, right—the reason i'm thinking abt her at all in the context of this film is bc of the Cancel Culture Scene. bc i'm sympathetic to both the comics artist himself as well as his critics—bc like gretchen & her supporters always say, i believe artists have the right to be messy & sexual & graphic & painful & problematic & difficult to untangle……both bc i prefer to consume art (like this movie!) that fits that description, & bc that's ultimately the kind of work i would like to create.

but what's weird abt the tv interview in the gym in this movie is that we don't really even get to see exactly what the feminists debating the comics boyfriend are actually mad at him about. it's all vague—probably bc the point isn't the debate itself so much as its effect on his ex-gf! (& we know this bc the camera spends hella time tracking her facial reactions throughout this scene, as opposed to focusing primarily on the ex-boyfriend being interviewed.)

(btw for the record, i've read some of gretchen's writing but not a huge amount, & i think she's quite talented at describing compelling visual scenes, but i do worry that some of her political commentary is just so on-the-nose that it isn't as funny as it wants to be?

like, sure, i hate raytheon tenderqueers as much as any Good Leftoid! obviously imperialist militaries are evil & should be systematically dismantled, & it's sickening seeing the cynical liberal war machine attempt to suck us gays into its awful whirling gears.

but—as we saw with countless lib comedians attempting to parody trump—just bc you're making fun of something genuinely bad, doesn't mean your jokes are automagically hilarious!)

oh right, i was building toward something—namely: it feels like there's 3 sides in the big Cancel Culture Debate these days:

(mostly but not solely) christian right-wingers who hate the gays

young people who ummm [takes a full minute to check something on my phone] believe barnes & noble should sort books by tone indicator & who think fujoshis will trigger the third impact

cool edgy trans ppl caught in the middle of these 2 groups, martyred like that one saint mishima used to jack off to & permitted to do any crime so long as it is judged as being sufficiently badass by the Council of Trans Elders

anyway i was just gonna say: you know how sun tzu art of war has that thing abt how u should make your enemies fight each other instead of u fighting on 2 sides at once?

yeah, i think we should come up with a new discourse designed to do exactly that. or maybe get the evangelicals & catholics to fight again over whether asexual priests are valid or if they have to be volcel to really count. hopefully they'll wear themselves out, & our[if i may be so bold as to number myself among the Edgy Trans] troops of keyboard warriors will be able to reenter the fray refreshed to fight another day!

[whyyoudothistomecavill]

Don't - Chapter 1

Hello everyone! This is my first time writing fanfiction. Chapter one is an introduction to the kind of relationship the characters have and, in future chapters I will fill in the gaps left in this part.

But first, let's see how this one goes.

Feedback is greatly appreciated.

I took the name from a song written by Jewel. Go and listen to it. Trust me, after the first verse, THAT person will pop in your head. Never fails.

Before we jump in, there's a few people I need to thank:

@littlefreya for helping me with the editing since I don't have a beta yet, for encouraging me knowing what a big deal this is for me, and for all the things you already know. I'll always be in your debt.

@mary-ann84 for making me feel welcome since day one and putting up with me and my annoying questions at any time of day. Girl, you deserve an award for patience.

@radaofrivia for taking the time to read my ramblings and giving me the reassurance I needed. For showing up out of nowhere when I was almost defeated by my lack of tumblr comprehension and explained everything to me with the patience of a kindergarten teacher. Greek god Henry sent you my way, I have no doubt.

There aren't words enough to express how big of an inspiration all of you are to me. To be able to call you my friends, fills my heart with extreme joy and gratitude. So again THANK YOU.

I took the liberty to tag some people, to some I asked for their permission, to others I didn't, so if this bothers you in any way, just message me and I'll fix it, there's absolutely no obligation and I won't be offended.

With that being said, let's get to the point.

Title: Don't

Pairing: Henry x female reader.

Word count: 1682

Warnings: Angst, fluff, and if you squint your eyes you might find a bit of smut.

Summary: Henry and reader are a couple living together for 1 year. Reader have struggled with self esteem issues and insecurities her whole life and when she met Henry, she thought she had left all that in the past, but certain events made her realize that her soul is far from being healed.

Disclaimer: This is an original work of fiction written by me. Please don't post it anywhere else without my permission. Reblogs here are welcomed of course. Thank you.

"Are you ok, darling?"

"Yes, honey"

"Are you sure? You don't seem ok"

"I'm ok, Hen," you smiled, "I'm just tired. I wanna get home, have a shower and then go to bed"

He didn't seem convinced but he didn't ask again. The rest of the ride home was silent, you looked out the window and prayed for the strength to act like everything was normal, while he concentrated on the road and hummed along to the radio.

But you knew better. You knew that this man, the most gorgeous man on earth, the man you called your boyfriend, the man every woman (and a lot of men too), thirsted for, was also the smartest, the most affectionate and that he paid attention to every single thing, especially you. He could notice the smallest change in your demeanor, he could tell when something was wrong and this time was no difference. He was just giving you time to process whatever it was upsetting you before you could talk to him, but in no way was he buying the "just tired" bs. And you knew it.

You entered the house and discarded your shoes and purse. Henry was taking Kal out of the car and into the house when you said "I'm gonna take a shower," and quickly rushed upstairs without waiting for an answer, you needed to be alone so desperately.

You got into the bathroom and took your clothes off without even glancing in the mirror, you didn't want to see anybody, much less yourself.

The hot water was bliss to your sore muscles, too bad it didn't make a difference to the pain in your heart. You rested your forehead into the tiled wall and felt the water gently massaging your back and legs. You were so immersed in your thoughts that you didn't hear the bathroom door being open. Henry was already behind you, his strong hands caressing your back as light as a feather and his mouth on your ear, "may I join you?"

You turned around and looked at him, at those eyes bluer than the sky itself, at those curls that did things to you just by looking at them, and that smile, the most perfect and genuine smile you had ever seen, it was literally impossible not to smile back at him, it was contagious.

He didn't wait for an answer, he lowered himself to put his arms around your waist as you put yours around his neck and kissed you deeply and tenderly. You knew he did that so you wouldn't have to be on your tiptoes to kiss him, he was so damn considerate and perfect it infuriated you sometimes.

So you closed your eyes and kissed him like there was no tomorrow, he sensed the heat in your kiss and grabbing your behind, lifted you up still kissing you, putting your back against the wall. You instinctively wrapped your legs around him and he broke the kiss to look at you, his hair was tousled all over from the water and your hands. His lips were swollen from the kissing and his eyes were dark with lust but also full of love. Oh,so much love.

"What do you want?" He said, "Tell me. What do you need? I'm here, I'm yours".

Something inside of you broke, it was too much. "I want you, Henry. I need you. Now. Inside of me. Please".

He didn't wait for you to ask again, maneuvering you as if you weighed nothing, he made you descend on his length without breaking eye contact, until you were completely full of him. He started to move, slowly and leisurely making you moan and clung to him for dear life.

He didn't know about the battle that was going on inside you. You wanted him to crawl within you and fill the emptiness eating your soul, you wanted to hold him and never let go, you wanted to stop time. Or maybe go back in time, or just disappear. But for the time being you were just grateful for the water running over both of you, not letting Henry notice that your tears were running as well.

Even if you were shattered inside, your body would always succumb to him, there was no point in resisting, and as he kept moving in and out of you, whispering sweet nonsenses in your ear, the orgasm hit you like a thunder lightning crying out his name, his release following moments later triggered by your loud moans.

He held you still between him and the wall while you both recovered your breath, filling your neck with open mouthed kisses.

He lowered you and you held him tightly, putting your head on his chest, listening to his heart beat. It always soothed you. You both stayed that way under the shower in silence, until you started to feel the boiling inside you rising again. "I'm gonna get the towels" you said, "I got it" said he and with a swift move of his long arms, he reached for the towels and started drying you, hair first, then your body, slowly, caressing every inch of it and leaving light kisses everywhere his hands would pass.

He was kneeling in front of you, drying your legs and slowly going up, your eyes were fixated on him and his movements, not saying a word. He looked up, saw you staring, and reaching up, caressed your face so softly it made you lean your head in his hand, closing your eyes. It was like time stopped and you were there alone just savoring that moment, keeping it in your memory forever and you couldn't help the single tear rolling down your cheek into his hand...

When you opened your eyes, you saw the look of concern on his face, "What is it baby? What's wrong?"

You needed to make a choice, so you chose the truth. At least the one truth that wouldn't hurt him: "I love you so much".

"And that makes you cry?"

You chuckled a little, "No, I sometimes get overwhelmed by all these feelings, I'm sorry for being so sensitive" you said, wiping your eyes and smiling through tears.

He stood up and crashed your lips with his, taking you by surprise and lifting you up, carrying you like a bride to your bed.

He got in too, cuddling you from behind and you intended to get up to find one of his t-shirts, your go-to pajamas since day one with him, but he stopped you with his arm around your waist and pulled you against him, your back on his chest, your naked bodies molding perfectly together under the sheets.

You clutched his hand in yours, closed your eyes and tried to ease your racing heart.

His voice took you back to reality:

"Look at me, love"

You turned around in his arms just enough to look him in the eyes, and it surprised you to see, his were a little watery too.

"I love you" he whispered. "I love you like I never thought it was possible to love someone. You have brought to my life the hope that my tired heart believed was lost. I want to spend every minute of every day with you and when my work keeps us apart, I can't wait to share with you every detail of my day. You know sometimes..." he paused, smiling and looking away, "sometimes I have to tell myself *get it together Cavill! You're a grown man acting like a teenager*, but that's what you do to me" he said looking at you again and caressing your lips with his thumb, "You're my fuel, my reason, you're my last thought when I go to sleep and my first one when I wake up, and I'm so grateful to have you that sometimes I'm scared to think that I don't express it enough for you to actually get a glimpse of how happy you make me. That's why I might seem a little clingy around you... I love you and I want you to know that you can talk to me about anything, that I'm always here for you, it doesn't matter if I'm working or doing anything else, you are my priority, ok?"

You were a crying mess by now and watching his red eyes trying so hard not to cry, wasn't helping.

"Ok?" he said again, clearly demanding an answer from you.

But your words wouldn't come out. How? How could you tell him? How on earth was he supposed to imagine that he had chosen the worst possible moment to tell you this?

So again you settled for the truth, the only indisputable truth you could give him, and nodding you took his face in your hands and kissed him, pulling him on top of you.

He engulfed you in his arms and broke the kiss to breathe, you covered his face with light kisses tasting the salt of his tears which only added more sorrow to your battered soul.

"Make love to me," you said against his lips. He looked at you through hooded eyes and went for the spot on your neck he knew drove you crazy.

This was the truth. The fact that when you were together you couldn't tell where each of you ended and the other began. The absolute certainty of loving him with every fiber of your being, knowing you could never love anyone else this much, not even in a thousand lives. You never hid it. It was impossible to...

A few hours later, you were watching him peacefully asleep, his features even more beautiful in the dim morning light. You carefully kissed him and placed your head on his chest, he held you tighter against him and said something that sounded like "I love you". "I love you too" you said, granting him again the truth you couldn't deny.

The unspoken truth however, the one he was about to learn, was that in fact, the one you didn't love... was yourself.

Tag list:

@mary-ann84 @littlefreya @radaofrivia @demivampirew @dancingwendigo @seb-owns-these-tatas​ @viking-raider​ @cruelfvkingsummer​ @cherry-acid​ @achaoticaugust​ @promptandpros​ @ladyreapermc​ @honeychicanawrites​ @yespolkadotkitty​ @chamomilebottom​ @deathonyourtongue​

[lonelysupernova]

my favorite, fluff to the MAX

dreams made of sand and golden waves

Eddie Munson x Reader

Summary: It's time for the yearly trip to your grandparent's beach house; this year you are hellbent on not going alone, and Eddie is just about the only person who can pass as your boyfriend. It's just one weekend, so keeping real feelings at bay should be easy, right?

A/N: aka a very cliche fake dating au with lots of domestic fluff that I indulged myself in writing. I wrote this as nothing serious and just because I really like this trope (but boy did it take me fucking long to write it wtf). Also very important to say that I don't live in the USA, so if anything about the locations in here is wrong, blame it on Google. That being said, let's take Eddie to the beach <3.

Word count: 12,6k

Masterlist

"Eddie, pleeease!" You groaned, following him around inside his trailer.

He picked up a beer from the fridge and walked back to his room, turning his head to give you a quick glance with a smirk. A Black Sabbath album resonated through the trailer from his player beside his bed. The cheap yellow lighting made his eyes glint, the brown orbs you adored now causing annoyance to surge inside you.

Eddie plopped himself on top of his worn yet incredibly soft bed, crossing his legs and taking a sip of his beer. "Sorry sweetheart, can't do it."

You heaved an exasperated sigh, resting your hands on your hips and avoiding his eyes, to look around his bedroom. His guitar hanging in front of the mirror felt like it might as well have been laughing at you, given the hole you dug for yourself. Right beside it, haphazardly taped to the mirror, was a Polaroid of both of you; Eddie's arm around your shoulders, your smile almost as big as his, the two of you on the Ferris wheel, with the light from the fireworks illuminating your faces. Eddie always loved to capture moments like these. That way they'll last forever, he'd said.

The picture brought good memories, but you forced your eyes away. You'd spent countless hours hanging out with Eddie in this same bedroom, listening to music and smoking the occasional weed to loosen up weekly nerves. You were no stranger to the posters, the VHS tapes, and the mess, yet now your anxiety made the room feel a little suffocating.

"Please Eddie, it's just one weekend." Your voice leveled out in a steady tone.

The half-full beer bottle was discarded to the floor. Eddie looked up at the ceiling with his lips parting in a sigh, before he let himself fall back on his bed, his head hitting the mattress. Deep down he knew he'd never be able to deny you anything.

The mattress dipped as your knees came to rest on top of it, you slowly crawled your way to him. Laying down beside him with one hand under your head, you fixed your eyes on his profile. You followed the line of his nose to the curve of his lips, gripping the bedsheets so you wouldn't reach out.

Eddie turned his head to look at you. "Your family is not gonna like me, y'know. Why does it have to be me?"

"Because," you pursed your lips, "everyone is going to be there, all my cousins and aunts. With their plus ones. And I can't be the only sad loser who's still very much single and alone." You picked at the sheets, avoiding his eyes. "I can't stand another year hearing the 'when are you gonna find someone, Y/N?' questions with that pitiful look on their faces."

"You're not alone." Eddie reasoned.

Ever the charmer, you thought to yourself. His words made you chuckle lightly. "Sorry, I know I have you. And…" Biting the inside of your cheek, you said in a lower tone; "no one here knows me better than you do Eddie, you know that. If anyone is gonna make it believable when pretending to be my boyfriend, it's gonna be you."

Eddie could feel his mouth drying up just by hearing the words, his heart picking up a quicker pace. Pretending. That word would be haunting him forever.

How was he supposed to hold your hand, kiss your cheek and keep you close without it meaning anything?

How was he supposed to go back to being your friend — best friend, most important person in the world, as you liked to call it, yet friend nonetheless — after living through the one thing he wanted the most?

He'd be driving a knife right into his chest. And yet, for you, he'd do it smiling.

One thing he knew though. He wouldn't have to pretend to be head over heels for you.

"Okay."

You pushed yourself up on your elbows, wide eyes glued to him in excitement. "Really?"

Eddie sighed loudly, running his hands over his face. He peeked at you through his fingers. "Yeah really, whatever. You'll owe me big time."

Next thing he knew you were throwing yourself on top of him, momentarily knocking the air out of his lungs. He held you back with a huff, already smiling at the affection you gifted him with. His arms encircled your waist, while yours closed around his neck between his soft hair and the bedsheets.

"Thank you, Eddie. I'll make it up to you, I promise." You breathed out against his skin. Relieved out of your mind that you wouldn't be alone in that beach house. "You have no idea how much this means to me."

Eddie's lips parted as he stared at the stained ceiling, feeling a distant sting in his eyes. He gripped the fabric of your shirt, focusing on the comforting weight of your body atop his; instead of the fact that he'd be condemning his poor heart in just a few days.

_____

It was a yearly family trip, you could go as far as to say it was a tradition. Everyone coming together in your grandparent's beach house in Porter, for at least one weekend. The place was beautiful, and you had countless unforgettable memories there from when you were younger; however now, the trip was starting to become a day you didn't exactly look forward to — especially after moving to Hawkins, going back to your hometown usually only made you miss it more once you had to leave again. And you loved your family, but naturally, they could be a little too much sometimes, especially your aunt Kathy, who was your typical matchmaker.

Having Eddie with you would be a relief, not only because you wouldn't have to hear the incessant nagging about when you'd find someone, but also because he would quite literally be your source of comfort.

After loading up everything you'd need for the weekend, you drove up to Eddie's trailer. Parking your car beside his beat-up van, you got out and walked up the stairs to the front door, not bothering to knock before getting in, he knew you were coming.

Wayne looked up from his place sitting on the couch when you walked in, a beer can in his hand. "Hey Y/N."

"Hi Wayne, how are you?" You smiled.

"Good," he nodded, and a smirk appeared on his face, he tilted his head towards Eddie's bedroom, "so you're finally making it official then?"

"Ha ha." You humorlessly faked a laugh, feeling your face heat up. "Don't start, it's just a stupid family gathering that I don't wanna go alone to."

"You kids always finding excuses." Wayne raised an eyebrow at you with a teasing look, that you chose to ignore, making your way to Eddie's bedroom.

Eddie was rummaging through his wardrobe, a deep frown on his eyebrows. He threw a black shirt on his bed and you noticed that he already had a small backpack with clothes there.

"How's my other half?" You teased, sitting down on his bed. You picked up the shirt he just tossed there and folded it neatly.

Huffing out a sigh, Eddie turned to you, now with a pair of grey sweatpants in his hands. His hair, you just noticed, was tied in a low bun; you always loved this look on him.

"Trying to find beach clothes… that I don't have."

"Spring has just started Eds, we're not gonna swim, don't worry." You grabbed his backpack, curiously peering inside to see what he was taking.

Eddie sat down beside you, clutching the sweatpants to his chest. "You think that's enough?"

You chuckled, leaning towards him and snatching the pants from his hands to fold them and tuck them in his bag. "I think you're worse than me when it comes to packing."

His unamused look made you smirk. You closed the zipper on his backpack and raised a hand to his face, flicking away a loose strand of hair that had fallen on his eyes. "It's perfectly enough, and we should be leaving already."

You got up from the bed pulling a strap of his bag over your shoulder, not seeing the way his cheeks reddened with your touch.

Eddie followed suit, stuffing his hands in his pockets and giving his bedroom one last glance over to make sure he wasn't forgetting anything.

"My parents already left yesterday to get there earlier. We're going with my car," you turned to him, walking backward and to the living room, "you're driving." You threw the car keys to him, which he scrambled to catch mid-air.

After saying goodbye to Wayne and tossing Eddie's backpack in the back of your car with your own bags, you were finally on the road to Porter Beach. The drive was a little long so you stopped by a gas station to grab a few snacks.

About one hour of driving, and you were munching on a cereal bar, feet resting up on the dash. Most of the way there was through a beautiful countryside, green fields surrounding the highway as you avoided going through any city's traffic. You were looking out the window, enjoying the low tune of a Bon Jovi tape you insisted on playing.

Lazily turning your head to the side, your gaze settled on Eddie. He had one hand resting on the wheel while the other held a can of soda, his eyes focused on the road ahead. You felt your lips curling up in a smile. He looked handsome, it felt right to be doing this, casually going out of town with him to meet your family. For a moment you forgot it was play pretend.

"So um- what are the ground rules?" Eddie's voice brought you back down to earth, making you frown.

"Ground rules?"

"Yeah, I mean, what we can and can't do. What are the boundaries of this relationship?" He shot you a suggestive glance with a toothy grin.

You rolled your eyes, stretching your arms above your head before throwing away the empty wrap of your cereal bar. "Well, we just have to pretend while we're with them so… holding hands, the occasional cuddle, those things. It's pretty straightforward, just like any other relationship you've had I guess."

Eddie promptly fixed his eyes back on the road, biting the inside of his cheek and gripping tightly onto the steering wheel. "But I don't… Just- just give me some pointers alright? What are you comfortable with?"

"There's not much to say, Eddie. You just kind of roll with it, and I'm sure whatever you're used to will be fine by me too, I trust you." You lean your head on the back of your seat, looking at him and taking notice of his tense shoulders. Whole body, really. "I mean, you've been in a relationship before, right?"

Eddie clenches his jaw, eyes looking anywhere but you as he grumbles; "you know I didn't." He didn't know why it bothered him, it's not like you'd judge him. But a little embarrassment still twirled in his stomach. And Eddie wasn't an idiot, he knew how couples behaved, but not having any experience in the matter still made him worried about crossing your boundaries; worried enough to step out of his comfort zone and ask.

"I know you didn't in the two years I've known you, but… before that?" You inquired tentatively.

Eddie's face twisted in a mixture of a smile and grimace. "Not many people are interested in dating the town's freak, I'm afraid."

His voice dripped with sarcasm but you could see the hint of hurt underneath, the loneliness. It baffled you though, how no one had had the privilege of knowing him like this. No one but you. The thought sent a shiver down your spine and you suppressed it just as fast as it came.

"It's alright, I know you'll make a great boyfriend." You smiled, poking his arm to bring a smile to him as well. "Just do what your heart tells you."

With your words, Eddie's heartbeat sped up. He cleared his throat and tried to sound casual with his next question; "what about kissing?"

That had you chuckling. You finally looked away from him and watched the road in front of you. "I guess we'll have to? At least some pecks here and there, otherwise they'll see right through it. If you're okay with it. I mean, what couple doesn't kiss, right?"

Eddie pursed his lips, gulping down the feelings clawing at his throat. "Right."

As you reached town, Eddie started following your instructions to get to the house. The town was pretty, and in some ways, reminded Eddie of Hawkins.

He ended up driving to a secluded neighborhood, and as he sped forward, fewer and fewer houses started to appear; until he reached the end of the road, and there, facing Lake Michigan, stood a big, white wooded house. It had two floors and a run-down stone path that lead to its entrance, surrounded by a few patches of grass, and a few coastal trees, but mostly light-colored sand that blended with the house nicely. And as Eddie parked the car beside the house, he noticed that some of the white paint was wearing off, certainly a teller of how long the house had existed. Yet despite its age, the house still looked well taken care of, fancy. It stood on a slight hill, giving them a perfect view of the beach ahead.

Eddie was quiet as he took in his surroundings, slowly pulling the key from the ignition when your car was settled beside the other two already parked there. Sometimes, he forgot how different your world was from his. Rich parents, fun childhood, big family. In moments like these, he was reminded of it.

"Here we are," you said quietly, eyes fixated on the house you practically grew up in. "I swear this place never changes." You opened your door with a soft click and the coastal wind filled your nostrils, making your hair fly. You turned to Eddie before stepping out.

He spoke before you could, hands still gripping the steering wheel. "You know, sometimes I forget that you're-"

"Don't say it." You cut him off.

"Rich?" With a raised brow, Eddie finally peeled his eyes away from the house and the waves washing to shore, and looked at you.

"Stop it, Eddie," you huffed, "for the last time, all of this," you gestured to the white house, fresh sand and seagulls that flew by in the distance, "belongs to my grandparents, not me."

Eddie squinted his eyes at you, pushing his door open as well. "It does belong to you, at least a little."

Rolling your eyes at his stubbornness, you climbed out of the car and pushed the door closed. The golden glow of the setting sun was warm against your skin, you took a moment to watch the way it blended in with the crashing waves, taking in a deep breath of the air that still tasted as fresh as you remembered it.

Eddie leaned his elbows on the roof of the car, about to ask if he should already take the bags but biting his words back when he saw you. The sunlight highlighted your profile with an orange glow and made your hair shine. Eddie could feel the air leaving his lungs and not coming back. This would be a long weekend.

You opened the trunk of your car and you and Eddie picked up all your bags. When you closed it again, you noticed the dark blue BMW parked beside you. You groaned, "shit, aunt Kathy is already here." With one hand you held onto the strap of your backpack whilst hooking your other arm with Eddie's, pulling him with you towards the front door. "Last time we were here she tried to pair me up with one of the surfers her son is friends with. He wasn't bad looking but… such a douche."

Beside you, Eddie hummed, subconsciously pulling your body closer to his. He took a quick glance down at his black jacket and ripped jeans. "More and more I'm kinda feeling like I won't be exactly the guy who fits in with your family, sweetheart."

You looked up at him with the ghost of a smile, watching the way his brown curls flew in front of his eyes and he tried to blow them away. "You fit in with me, that's good enough right?" The words slipped from your tongue before you had the chance to weigh them. Eddie turned his head to you, and you didn't let yourself think if the pink on his cheeks was from the sunlight or something else. "And you know, my parents adore you. They were thrilled when I told them about us." You finished quickly.

Eddie halted on his feet and pulled you along with him, his eyes comically wide. "You told your parents we're- we're…"

You chuckled and avoided his eyes, adjusting your backpack over your shoulder. "Of course I did, I had to, they're here too."

"But, what happens when we go back to Hawkins?"

You hadn't thought that far yet, but you pursed your lips with a smile and urged Eddie to continue walking. "I don't know but we'll think of something until then, say it didn't work out or whatever, and we're back as just friends."

Sand got inside Eddie's sneakers as he dragged his feet toward heartbreak. The thought of you and him not working out stung.

You stopped in front of the wooden door, reaching for the handle but hesitating. "You ready… boyfriend?" You chanced, smile teasing but tone anxious.

Eddie gulped, his lips parted as he looked at you with the most gentle eyes. "Nah man."

You nodded. "Me neither, let's go."

The front door opened with a quiet creak, allowing you the full view of inside the house, which hasn't changed much either since last year. The walls inside were cream colored, with a very open floor plan downstairs — joined kitchen and living room, that had a colorful couch and bamboo chairs for the dining table — and huge glass doors that lead to the porch facing the beach and the wooden stairs that made the path down to the sand.

In the living room sat both your parents, your aunt Kathy and her husband, uncle Arthur; and your grandmother, Louise, who got up as soon as she caught sight of you and Eddie.

"Y/N darling, you're finally here."

You gave her a big smile, letting your backpack fall to the floor and letting go of Eddie — who, you noticed, took half a step behind you — so you could hug your grandma. "Yeah, it was a bit of a drive, but we're here."

She let go of the embrace only to cup your face, squishing your cheeks as she always did. "Oh it's been so long, you've grown so much. How are you?"

Your parents, Kathy and her husband were now standing behind Louise with smiles of their own, waiting to greet you.

You chuckled. "I'm okay grandma, really, and it's good to be back." Gently prying her hands away from you, you blindly reached a hand behind you and grabbed the sleeve of Eddie's jacket, pulling him to stand beside you. "I want you all to meet my boyfriend, Edward."

Eddie, feeling a bit self-conscious under all the eyes fixed on him, managed a tight-lipped smile and a quick wave. "Hey, you- you can call me Eddie. It's a pleasure to meet you all."

"No need for introductions darling." Kathy squeezed her way through the rest of your family and towards you. "Your mother has been telling us all about you two the whole afternoon."

"Aw shit." You mumbled under your breath, biting back a chuckle when your aunt pulled Eddie in for an unexpected hug.

She came to you next, keeping and arm around your shoulders as she said; "I'm so happy you found someone."

"Yep," you forced out a laugh, mindlessly intertwining your fingers with Eddie's, "I did."

After exchanging greetings with the rest of your family — including your grandpa; and your cousin Sean who came back from the beach dragging sand everywhere and earning a scolding from his father, Arthur — you found yourself alone with Eddie on the porch facing the beach, or, as alone as one could be through glass doors and a full living room.

"Aunt Jane will be arriving tomorrow morning, I think she couldn't get off early from her job today." Sitting on the wooden railing, you swing your legs back and forth. "She's a bit more easygoing than aunt Kathy." You extended a hand for Eddie to take, and when he did you pulled him closer and between your legs, letting your arms rest on his shoulders.

Eddie tensed with your touch, his brown eyes searching your face as his hands hovered just above your waist. He read your look quite quickly; 'play along'. Carefully, Eddie allowed himself to embrace your waist, praying you wouldn't hear the thundering of his heart. He kept his gaze over your shoulder and in the darkening sky above the shoreline.

You sneaked your hands up his neck and through his hair, mindlessly messing with his curls. Eddie closed his eyes momentarily, hearing the muffled voices from inside the house, the clattering of plates as they set the table for dinner, the crashing of waves, and the leaves rustling with the cold wind. He knew already, that going back from this, from having you, would be difficult.

"They like you, you know." You gently pushed away strands of hair that were in front of his eyes, watching the way his gaze lazily met yours. "I knew they would."

It was true, you heard your mother earlier, whispering quite loudly to your aunt; "always attached to the hip those two, no wonder they're together, took too long if you ask me."

And to which your aunt answered; "he's not what I expected for her, but I have to admit, they are adorable. And what a kind young man, so respectful."

"They're just being nice," Eddie mumbled, his fingers fidgeting with the hem of your hoodie.

You furrowed your brows at that. "No, they're not. I know my family, they wouldn't have a problem in letting it show if they don't like someone, in one way or another, especially aunt Kathy."

Maybe you were right, maybe Eddie could belong here. But he looked away and made the bold move of resting his chin on your shoulder, almost flushing your chest to his, with his hands holding your back so you wouldn't fall; because getting attached to a fake reality would be too hard of a blow in the long run.

And you didn't say anything else, feeling your skin prickle with goosebumps where he touched you. Closing your arms around Eddie's shoulders, you realized you'd never noticed how good it felt to hold him this close. Stop it. You told yourself. He's just playing his part like you're playing yours. It doesn't change anything.

The glass doors opened with a quick motion, making you and Eddie snap your heads towards the sound. Your father peeked his head through, sporting his 'kiss the cook' apron and with a spatula in hand. "Dinner's ready, you two. Come on in."

Everyone sat together at the table, talking loudly and passing bowls of food between each other. Eddie felt overwhelmed, but in a weirdly good way, with your family talking with him as if they'd known him for years.

"Edward, tell me a little about you. How'd you meet my niece?" Kathy asked excitedly from her end of the table.

Eddie gulped down half of the orange juice in his cup, his knee going up and down as he looked up at her. "We um- we met at school, right after she moved to Hawkins." He shifted his gaze from your aunt and to you who sat beside him, lips parted with uncertainty.

When you were about to step in and say something, you noticed his eyes softening. He focused on you and let the other people around fade out. With a soft breath, Eddie continued; "she stood out from day one, I- I couldn't understand how someone as amazing as her had ended up in Hawkins, of all places. I just knew I had to meet her."

Your hands became sweaty, and you couldn't hold his gaze. His words were too genuine for a made-up scenario, so you followed his lead shamelessly; "he was my first friend there, part of me knew we'd end up together, I think. He's been an easy one to love… from day one." The words grew quieter, you tilted your head and glanced at Eddie with a soft smile.

She doesn't really mean it. Eddie kept repeating inside his head, for the sake of his heart. But as you looked at him with a love that felt so true, his mantra started to become blurry.

All Eddie managed before going back to his food was a shy smile back.

Dinner went on as if nothing happened, the only one to mention how pure the young love was, was your mother.

Being tired from the long trip, everyone went to bed early tonight. You and Eddie ended up settled in your old bedroom in the house, now being generically furnished with a small bookshelf, a wardrobe, a desk, and a double bed in the middle.

You closed the bedroom door and leaned your back against it, huffing out a sigh.

Eddie, who was holding all of your bags, stood in the middle of the room. "Where should I…"

"Just leave them in the corner there." You pointed to the space beside the wardrobe. It wasn't worth unpacking everything only for the two nights you'd be staying.

You pushed yourself away from the door, grazing your fingers over the dusted books on the shelf. Some of them you knew, some had been your favorites growing up. You could feel Eddie's eyes watching you. "it wasn't too bad, right? Them and… us?"

Shifting in his stance, Eddie took off his jacket, leaving him in only a dark red Metallica shirt. He attempted to run a hand through his hair, his fingers getting caught up in loose tangles. "Not too bad, I think we'll manage to pull off our roles just fine." Despite the sour taste the words left in his mouth, Eddie shot you a teasing grin; "I do like to have a pretty girl to call mine for a change."

The warmth on your cheeks was instant, you chuckled, "don't get ahead of yourself, Munson." You pointed a finger at him and walked to your backpack, starting to search for pajamas to keep your hands busy.

"Uh, I'm gonna take a shower, you can go after, okay?" You glanced up at Eddie through your lashes.

"Yeah, sure."

Eddie busied himself with snooping around the room until you come back. Eventually, on the bookshelf, beside the old books, he found two portraits. Eddie picked them up with care, running a thumb over the images. In one of them, you and your whole family stood on the beach, with the big white house in the background, you were younger, maybe not older than seven and the smiles on all your faces were genuine. The other portrait was a picture of only you, maybe two or three years older than on the other picture, you held a plastic shovel and had a huge smile that missed one tooth, the beach water reaching up to your waist as you played in it. Eddie found himself smiling, they looked like happy memories.

"Oh no, you've found the relics." You walked back into the room, still drying your hair with your towel.

"I was hoping I'd find some ugly baby photos of you here." Eddie raised a brow, putting down one of the framed pictures. "These aren't so bad though. You really did grow up here huh?"

"For the most part, yeah. The house was big enough, and when I was around six my parents decided it was more worth splitting the bills, back then at least. And it's nice for a kid to grow up by the beach. Their words, not mine." You draped your towel over the desk chair, ruffling your damp hair with your hands. "And it was. Nice."

"Hmm, yeah." Eddie glanced down at the picture of the younger you in his hands, momentarily wondering what it would be like to grow up in a place where happiness and love surrounded him. He then held the picture up with a teasing grin; "where did all this cuteness go though?"

Your lips parted in a 'how dare you' way and you narrowed your eyes. "Fuck you." You giggled, walking up to him and snatching the portrait from his hands, pushing him to the door. "Go take a shower, you stink."

"I do not." Eddie joined in with a chuckle of his own, smiling big with the familiar teasing.

"Two doors to your left, pretty boy. Go on." You threw a clean towel on his arms and raised a hand to mess up his hair, just the way you knew always made him pout.

Eddie walked out and into the hallway with a permanent smile attached to his lips. The easiness with which you showered him with affection made his heart skip a few beats.

Closing the bathroom door, Eddie pulled his hair in a high bun to avoid getting it wet; it was a nightmare to sleep while his hair was still damp and even he wasn't able to tame it in the morning when it happened. He had to admit, the house was a pleasant place to be in, it had a natural homey feeling to it, and your family wasn't as bad as he was picturing them to be, he'd never felt so welcomed so fast. Part of him was already dreading the feeling though, all the more reason for it to hurt in the end.

The warm water of the shower was a relief against his skin and soothed his tense muscles. But he had been working almost on autopilot since you both arrived, and now, with the water hitting the tiles being the only sound, his mind had time to catch up. It was so easy for you to take his hand and pull him to you, to flush your bodies together as if it was nothing.

"Jesus, man." Eddie breathed out, splashing water on his face and keeping his hands over his eyes for a second. He doesn't think it could ever be nothing.

When he exited the bathroom all the lights in the house had already been turned off, he kept his hand clued to the wall to guide himself as he walked.

Eddie opened the door to your room slowly, cursing under his breath when the wood creaked quite loudly. He threw his clothes from earlier into a pile on top of his bag and just… stood there; in the dark room, with the only light being from the moonlight coming in through the window.

You were already laying down, covers pulled up to your chin. Eddie swallowed. You'd never discussed sleeping arrangements. He picked at his fingers, worrying his lower lip with his teeth; should he just lay down beside you?

After a beat, you answered for him, apparently feeling his worry all the way from under the covers. "Just get in here, Eds."

"Right, right," Eddie mumbled and scrambled his way to the bed. He made sure to keep a good distance between you two. His hands twitched to reach out for you, but he settled on watching the outline of your back until sleep overtook him.

_____

Saturday dawned with the sun shining right on your face, you nuzzled into your pillow to hide from its light; the pillow that felt weirdly warm under you. And you hugged the covers closer to yourself, except they definitely didn't feel like covers.

With your eyes still closed you scrunched your eyebrows, and when you felt your body being squeezed, you finally peered them open. Somehow during the night, you and Eddie apparently bundled together in the middle of the bed. Your body was almost fully on top of his, with your head resting on his chest and arms loosely around his waist. And Eddie had his nose pressed to the top of your head, snoring softly, his arms snuggly around you.

For this early in the morning, your heart definitely shouldn't be beating this fast. Yet his body was so goddamn warm and soft under you that you wondered if it was too selfish to allow yourself at least five minutes of this bliss. Waking up cuddled together without knowing where your limbs started and his ended could be excused for the sake of fake dating, right?

It was dangerous, you knew that, you felt it in the way Eddie mumbled something in his sleep and subconsciously tightened his arms around you; it was the one thing you tried to suppress the hell off when his warm brown eyes made your stomach fill with an annoying flutter of butterflies. But in the seclusion of the bedroom, under the first lights of sunrise, the worry felt insignificant.

Until you heard the clatter of plates and the muffled voices from downstairs; seagulls singing on the beach announcing the start of the day.

You gently ran a hand over the faded Dio print on Eddie's shirt, before trying to push yourself up and away from him. Try being the keyword, because his grip on you didn't budge in the slightest.

"Shit." You mumbled under your breath as you were squeezed back against his chest. You were hoping to separate your body from his before he woke up and noticed what happened. Apparently not.

You cleared your throat, turned your head up to look at him, and called quietly; "Eddie."

Nothing.

"Eddie, come on." A little louder.

Nothing.

"Ugh, dude." You grumbled. "Eddie! Wake up!"

His eyes shot open with a start and landed on you instantly, his hands gripped onto you before he let go completely as if you'd burned him. "Shit, shit, shit." He was all stiff limbs and warm cheeks because he'd just woken up with you in his arms, and it wasn't fair how pretty you were this up close.

"I- I'm sorry, I didn't mean to- christ, I'm sorry."

Eddie's rasp morning voice sent a shudder down your back. You finally moved away from him and to your own pillow. "It's alright, don't worry, it was my fault too," your mouth hovered open, you shifted your gaze, "I just needed to get up and… Yeah."

The tip of Eddie's fingers — his whole body, really — was still prickling from having you so close. He missed the contact immediately. "Sorry." He said one more time for good measure.

You waved off his worry as if it was nothing, getting up from the bed and making your way to the bathroom to freshen up. Except it definitely wasn't nothing.

When you walked back to the bedroom, Eddie was already dressed up in dark grey sweatpants and a red flannel shirt. He turned to you when he heard the door open, and you had to stifle a laugh because his hair was all over the place. The sunlight coming from the window made the wild strands shine and look golden.

"Jesus Eddie, you're not going downstairs like this, sit." You told him with a smile, pointing at the bed.

He chuckled, one hand automatically going up to his hair. "What, you don't like it?"

"You know I do, but," you mindlessly reached for his hand and sat him down on the mattress as you stood in front of him, "just let me tidy it up a bit."

"And ruin my metal look?" Eddie clasped a hand over his chest.

"Drama, drama," you mumbled, running your fingers over his fringe and then the soft strands that framed his face.

Eddie closed his eyes, his shoulders relaxing. Slowly, his forehead dropped to rest against your abdomen as you worked your hands through the curls on his head.

It went unsaid just how much Eddie loved when you'd mess with his hair, it was a secret you kept close to your heart. And if you kept massaging his scalp for a minute longer after you were done, no one needed to know.

You walked down the stairs with Eddie behind you, your family was in the kitchen, starting to prepare breakfast, and you got down just in time to see your aunt Jane arriving. Stripes of sunlight were coming in through the windows and glass doors, bathing the wood in golden as a soft breeze came from the shoreline.

"Aunt Jane!" You called with a smile, skipping down the last steps of the stairs and pulling the older woman into a hug.

"Y/N, it's so nice to see you again." Jane pulled away, her hands still gripping your arms as she looked you up and down with a fond smile.

"Auntie, I want you to meet my boyfriend, Eddie." You said excitedly, turning to Eddie, who stood by the stairs, and making grabby hands at him.

"Boyfriend huh?" A new voice mocked.

Samantha, Jane's daughter, walked through the front door. Glossed lips pulled in a devilish smile and manicured hands held onto her purse and her boyfriend's fingers, who stepped in behind her. Much different from her mother, she wasn't the most pleasant person to have around — the tension between you and her was innocent, for the most part, coming from years ago ever since she used to steal your toys and go cry to her mother when you snatched them back.

You tugged Eddie to your side, intertwining your fingers with his with a proud tilt to your head. "Yeah, all mine." You raised a brow and felt the way Eddie's eyes snapped to you. "Hi Samantha, made a lot of children cry on the way here?"

"And I thought you wanted to be the lonely cat lady of the family." Samantha chuckled, earning a stern gaze from her mother.

Suddenly, your own mother materialized beside you and pinched your side, mumbling a "behave" to you through the gritted teeth of her overly sweet smile. She always advocated for peace in family gatherings. You couldn't blame her.

"It's uh- a pleasure to meet you." Eddie cut through the light tension, not knowing what else to say. But apparently, it was the right thing, because you and Samantha shared only one last glare before you were pulling him towards the kitchen.

"What was that about?" Eddie asked — close to your ear in a whisper that made the hairs on your neck stand up — when you stood side by side in front of the kitchen table.

You took in a breath, picking up four slices of bread to make sandwiches for you and Eddie. It was muscle memory to make them; butter, ham, and cheese for you, and only ham and cheese for Eddie. "We don't exactly get along. She's a stuck-up princess who likes to pick on me." You shot him a quick grin. "That's family for ya. Could you get us some coffee?"

Eddie chuckled, softly shaking his head. "Sure." He mumbled and leaned down to give your forehead a kiss before making his way to the counter near the sink, where the coffee machine was.

He poured two cups, one black and the other… Eddie looked around him, searching for the milk. Kathy stood only a little far from him, leaning on the isle and drinking from her own mug, talking to Louise about something regarding a paint job for the house.

Eddie raised a hand to the back of his neck, feeling self-conscious about talking to your family on his own. But before he could make a fool of himself, someone appeared beside him.

"Here you go, son." Your grandfather, Christopher, Eddie believed his name was, handed him the milk with a kind smile. "I gather that's what you're looking for."

With a sheepish smile, Eddie took the milk and thanked the man profusely, feeling his chest blowing up with warmth for the kindness.

He poured the exact amount you always did for your coffee and walked back to the table, taking his seat beside yours.

You turned to Eddie and gave his hand a quick squeeze as a thank you, setting his sandwich on a plate in front of him.

"Look who decided to show up." Arthur walked in through the porch doors, flip-flops covered in sand in his hands. He gave Jane a side hug with a smile.

She raised a hand in mock surrender. "I know, I know, should've been here yesterday. But I couldn't get off work and Sam was at a birthday party." She explained, throwing all her bags on the couch except for one. "But," out of the plastic bag in her hands, she carefully pulled out a tray, "I come bearing gifts."

Your face lit up with a smile upon seeing the neatly made cake, the recipe was Jane's specialty and your favorite.

"You are totally forgiven." Your father, who had been making himself waffles, ditched the food and made a beeline for Jane's baked sweets, already trying to take a piece and earning himself a soft tap on the shoulder from your grandmother as she looked at him disapprovingly.

Eddie chuckled beside you, and you turned to him with a smile of your own. "I absolutely love this cake she makes, you'll have to try it."

"If you say it's good, then I trust ya." Eddie took a bite of his sandwich, bread crumbs sticking to his adorable smile.

Breakfast went as it always did in the beach house, everyone sitting at the table and talking loudly about three things at once, passing food and drinks between each other, and making plans for the day.

One detail diverged, however. Samantha seemed to take an interest in Eddie's life, asking questions about what he did and what he liked, looking at him with a certain hunger that made you clench your fork to the point the metal was almost piercing your skin.

Fake or not, for this weekend Eddie was yours. And the jealousy that blossomed in your chest when Samantha reached out to tap his forearm almost made you haul yourself over the table to squeeze her throat.

After breakfast you decided to finally head to the beach, the air outside was chilly, but the sun was out as well, making the day perfect for a walk on the warm sand. You talked Eddie into borrowing your father's flip-flops and walked hand in hand with him down the wooden stairway. The steps creaked under your weight, they lead you all the way from the porch, down the slight hill, and finally to the beach. Near the house there were a few grass patches amidst the sand, along with a thin wooden fence, that had already crumbled in a few spots, leading you near the water.

The beach was mostly empty at this time of year, save for a few passersby and ambitious surfers.

Your fingers were loosely hooked with Eddie's, he was swinging your joined hands back and forth, his eyes stealing glances down at the way his feet buried in the thin sand as you walked.

You, on the other hand, were stealing glances at him. At the way he sometimes stumbled on the uneven ground, at the way his hair flew wildly with the coastal wind, at how the sun kissed his skin the same way you caught yourself wishing to, and at how he looked like he belonged here; with you and with the glistening water framing his profile.

You two ended up making your way to a local bar, the only one near the house. It wasn't big, but it made up for its size in the way it was built. The place had no walls, allowing everyone a full view of the crashing waves just ahead. A few tables were scattered underneath the roof and in the back stood the little booth that served the drinks and a few snacks, everything smartly decorated with the coastal theme.

"You want something to drink?" Eddie asked as you leaned against one of the pillars. His cheeks and nose were starting to take on a red blush because of the sun.

"Yeah I think so, we can drink while walking back." You smiled, absentmindedly running your thumb over his knuckles.

Chatter coming from one of the tables caught both yours and Eddie's attention, you turned around to see Sean, your cousin, talking loudly to some of his friends.

Eddie turned back to you and somehow his cheeks had gotten even redder, he mumbled an "okay", before leaning in and planting a tender kiss on your forehead. He made his way to the bar, fidgeting with the wallet in his hands, not bothering to ask about your favorite drinks; he knew it by memory.

You realized then that you weren't wrong, Eddie made for a great boyfriend.

"Y/N? Is that you?" An excited voice called for your attention.

You turned around and were met with the sight of Duncan, one of Sean's friends who just so happened to also be the boy your aunt tried to set you up with. He trudged his way towards you, sporting a long sleeve white shirt and shorts; and save for the shirt, he was soaked, causing the sand to cling to his skin and his blond hair to stick to his forehead and neck. You wondered if he was immune to the chilly wind.

"Hey, yeah it's- it's me." You raised your hand in an awkward wave, sparing him a tiny smile as he stopped a bit too close for comfort.

"I was hoping I'd catch you around, been a while since you've come here." He leaned a hand against the pillar behind you, causing you to take half a step to the side.

You stuffed your hands in the pockets of your pants, shrugging your shoulders. "Yeah, I usually don't come here more than once a year. Just for the family trip and all."

"Well I must say then, you've only gotten prettier since last year." Duncan smirked, leaning in towards you so he could speak in a lower tone; "you should definitely drop by more often."

You looked aside to take a breath, already growing annoyed. "I don't think that's likely, it's a long trip and I can't afford to leave work much often."

Duncan nodded slowly, "I could keep you busy here too if you'd like. What do you say we try again? Wanna go out tonight?" He was about to raise a hand to touch your cheek but halted in his movements.

"Got you your favorite, sweetheart." Eddie's voice washed over you like a fluffy blanket on a cold day. He was quick to swing an arm around your shoulders, squeezing gently and pulling your body flush to his.

The warmth was welcoming, undeniably comfortable and you were baffled by how safe he made you feel. You leaned into him, sneaking your own arm around his waist until you reached the pocket of his sweatpants by his hip.

"Thank you, Eds." You said quietly, not necessarily for the drink but reaching out for it anyway. Standing on your toes, you planted a kiss on his jaw.

"Hey dude," Eddie raised his chin towards Duncan, "I'm Eddie, her boyfriend." He made sure to accentuate the words, causing you to suppress a chuckle.

Shuffling on his feet, Duncan backed away from you. "Right, nice to meet you, man." He nodded awkwardly and turned to you, "I'll head back to Sean, see you around Y/N."

You waved him goodbye with a tight-lipped smile. When the blond was out of earshot, you let out a relieved sigh, leaning your head back into Eddie's arm. "Thank you for the save, really."

Eddie chuckled, taking a sip of his beer and pulling you along towards the shore and away from the bar; his arm steady around your shoulders. "No one's allowed to make the moves on my girl, even if she's fake."

You bumped your hip into him, laughing along, both your feet kicking the warm sand. "Told you you'd make a good boyfriend."

The walk back to the house was pleasant, you drank and talked with Eddie with the same easiness he always made you feel. Once the cans were empty and discarded, you and Eddie spotted a crab — who hid in its hole as soon as you approached — and then began the match of who could spot more crabs. Both of you ended up with the ends of your pants soaked, only thinking of rolling them up when the damage was already done.

But you couldn't care, because the sun was shining and the waves were crashing to shore. And you were both running like little kids, burying your feet in the sand and splashing water into each other. And you thought of Eddie's saying about pictures and moments, because you wanted today to last forever.

When your family's house came into sight, you were walking with your flip-flops in hand, lazily moving your feet under the water when the waves reached you.

Eddie followed beside you, avoiding most of the waves. There was a soft tilt to his lips, a permanent smile because he was happy. You made him so unbelievably happy, and as you looked at him then, meeting his eyes that were already on you; with the sun shining behind you and glistening onto the water, making you look heaven-sent — just like that, hair all over the place, skin flushed and clothes in a mess of sand and water — Eddie was not surprised to feel as if he was in a daze, in the most addicting high.

You extended a hand to him, fingers stretching to reach him. He did the same, his fingertips grazing yours, feet just out of reach from the waves; knowing he'd never risk his feelings getting in the way of this.

Five more minutes of walking and you were in front of your house, you stopped, feeling the waves crash to your ankles and bury your toes with wet sand. Eddie stood in front of you, with one hand trying to block the sun shining on his face and the other in his pants pocket. The tip of his nose and the outline of his lips were red from the sun. You wanted to kiss him.

Your gaze shifted from him and up to the porch of the house, you saw the outline of two people whispering in each other's ears, no doubt Samantha and her boyfriend talking shit about you. You knew she was doubting your relationship, or, you felt like she was; and the way her gaze kept searching for Eddie earlier really made your blood boil. So maybe it was a little bit possessive of you, but two birds one stone, you thought, and took the bold move.

You walked up to Eddie, not giving him much time to process what was happening before burying one hand in his hair and pulling his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle, testing the waters. Until you felt Eddie tentatively place his hands on your waist, bringing your bodies together as he angled his head to deepen the kiss. His nose bumped yours, his lips much softer than you imagined.

Pulling back slowly, you breathed air back into your lungs. Eddie was looking at you with those chocolate eyes of his, his lips parted and so inviting, his hands warm on your waist but still making you shiver. He was suddenly too close, the air too hot.

You separated your bodies, instantly mumbling an apology and; "we kind of had an audience." You pointedly shifted your gaze to the porch and the two people watching.

Eddie could only nod, the air still stuck in a lump on his throat because holy shit; you kissed him.

You squeezed his hand as you walked past him and towards the house. And Eddie stood there for a minute, his lips tingling with the remains of your taste, tears prickling the back of his eyes because for a second, for a fleeting moment where the world faded and all he could feel was you; it felt real.

Something shifted between you and Eddie after the kiss. Each touch felt heavier, each stare lasted longer. You wondered if there was a way back from the lines you were crossing in your friendship. You wondered if you wanted a way back. If you were still pretending at all.

Eddie stayed back at the house when you, Jane, and your mother left to go to the market — you kissed him goodbye before leaving, just a touch of lips that barely lasted a second, but already made your knees go weak — they wanted to grab a movie to watch tonight and you convinced them into picking The Shining, wanting to choose something Eddie would like.

As dusk settled over the beach, popcorn was made and a spare mattress was laid in front of the TV so the living room could accommodate everyone. You, Eddie, and your grandparents took the bigger couch, your parents and Jane took the smaller one, and Kathy, her husband, and your cousins were sitting on the mattress. All the lights on the house were off with only the TV on and you were starting to regret your choice of movie.

Eddie handed you the popcorn bowl, the scenes on the TV casting light over his eyes and making them shine. "Was it your mom who chose the movie?" He asked quietly, only for you to hear.

You squirmed beside him, tucking your knees closer to your chest, feeling a pit of anxiety in your stomach as the movie went on. "It was me." You mumbled back.

"You?" Eddie raised an amused eyebrow. "You hate these movies."

"Yeah…"

"Why would you-"

"I wanted to pick something you'd like, okay? Sue me." You interrupted him, avoiding his eyes and handing the popcorn bowl to your cousin Sean.

Eddie kept his gaze on you, the movie turning into background noise. You were making it really hard for him to not love you more than he should. His lips quirked up, watching the way your nose and cheekbones were highlighted by the TV. Eddie wanted to kiss you again so bad.

"You're something else, sweetheart." He said more to himself than to you, and brought an arm around your shoulders, squeezing your body against his.

You briefly closed your eyes when you felt Eddie maneuvering your body to his. You tucked yourself comfortably beside him, nuzzling your head on his shoulder.

When the movie finally came to an end, you were basically dozing off on top of Eddie. Your head on the crook of his neck and an arm sprawled across his lap, while he lazily played with your fingers.

When Kathy turned off the TV, Eddie looked down to see Sean drooling on the mattress and Samantha trying to wake up her boyfriend; Eddie stifled a laugh at that. Your grandparents had already excused themselves to bed, and Jane and your mother were in the kitchen tucking away the dishes from earlier. The house was silent and dark, save for the clattering of plates and the single light near the sink. Not even two days had gone by and he already felt like part of the family.

Eddie's lips grazed your hairline as he tried to look at you. Your breathing was starting to even out and your eyes were closed, most of your weight now laying on Eddie.

He was about to wake you up when the voice of your mother called out to him; "Eddie dear, can you come to help me out for a moment?"

"On my way." He glanced over the back of the couch and answered quietly enough to not wake you. With overly careful movements, Eddie separated his body from yours, managing to lay you down on the couch gently.

"Just put these up there for me would you?" Your mother instructed as he reached her, handing him the stack of porcelain plates and pointing to one of the higher cabinets above the sink.

Eddie did so with a smile, earning him a squeeze on the forearm from your mother and a warm smile of her own as she made her way upstairs.

"It's Edward, right?" Jane leaned back on one of the counters, dish rag in hand.

Eddie turned to her, fidgeting with his rings. "You can call me Eddie."

"Eddie, I just wanted to say, I'm happy for you two." She told him genuinely, and when Eddie frowned, she clarified; "you and Y/N."

"Oh," he felt his face warm up, "uh- thank you."

The older woman chuckled, she had fondness on her eyes as she stared out the window, listening to the waves crashing to shore. "What I mean is, she looks happy with you."

The words made Eddie's heartbeat skyrocket, hearing it from someone else made it feel real. And to hear he made you happy brought goosebumps to his skin.

"The last two years, ever since they moved away, she hasn't been the same. She was quiet, withdrawn, you know. Moving to a new town, and even more so far away from the place you were born, sometimes is hard." Jane explained with a faraway look in her eyes. "This year is the first time that I feel like she is really here, back with us. She looks happy. And I feel like a lot of it has to do with you. I'm glad she found you."

Eddie's words were stuck to his throat, he tugged at the ends of his shirt, taking in everything she said. He'd never been a part of someone's happiness. It felt good. It made his eyes glisten and vision blur. "I- all I want is to see her happy." The words tumbled out before he could think them through.

Jane pushed away from the counter, smiling at him. She landed a hand on his shoulder and squeezed before going upstairs as well.

For a few minutes, Eddie was glued to that same spot in the kitchen. He raked a hand through his hair, pushing back his fringe and making some strands stick up.

After gathering some semblance of composure, he walked back to the couch and crouched down to be at eye level with you.

Your cheek was pressed to the couch and one of your arms hung loosely from the edge, your fingertips grazing the wooden floor. Eddie deeply wanted to have his camera with him.

Raising a hand to poke your cheek, Eddie woke you up.

"Hmm no." You grumbled, opening your eyes to peer at him with a disapproving look before burying your head on the couch with a grunt.

"Come on, sleepy head. Let's get you to bed." Eddie was having none of your poutings, he easily put his hands under your arms and lifted you up to a sitting position.

You unenthusiastically slapped his hands away, trying to run your fingers through your mess of hair. "Ugh, you're mean, y'know." Eventually, you got up and started to walk up the stairs to sleep properly on the bed.

"Shut it," Eddie argued back with a smirk, walking closely behind you in case you'd stumble, "you love me."

You sighed, reaching for the doorknob of your room. "You know me too well." You thanked the heavens that you'd both showered earlier because you'd definitely be sleeping without it if you hadn't.

Unceremoniously, you threw yourself on the bed. Eddie followed soon after turning the lights off.

Shuffling under the covers, your hand found grip around Eddie's shirt. "Come here." You mumbled. And you would be blaming all of it on your sleepy brain in the morning, but right now you were tired, and Eddie was warm and comfortable.

"Hm?"

"Just come here, Eds."

"O-okay okay, coming." Praying for you to not feel his thundering heart under your hand, Eddie hugged you close, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder again.

Eddie's lips parted with shaky breaths. The hand he had around your waist grazed a patch of skin, courtesy of your pushed-up shirt. He shivered. This felt way too intimate.

But you were relaxed, one arm draped over his abdomen as if you'd done this countless times.

Eddie closed his eyes and allowed himself to feel it too, nuzzling his nose into your hair and tracing random patterns over your stretched arm.

"You know, they can be a bit much sometimes but… but I like your family." He said quietly, not above a whisper in case you were already sleeping.

"They like you." You told him, voice wobbly, slipping in and out of consciousness.

Several beats passed, and your breathing evened again. Moonlight bathed the room, and Eddie's eyes had already adjusted to the darkness.

"Maybe we could try this for real sometime." He whispered, quieter than before. A plea thrown in the open for no one to hear anymore.

Tomorrow would be your last day here. Tomorrow you'd be going back to Hawkins.

_____

Sunday was a quiet day in the beach house. You woke up the same way as the day before, with you and Eddie in a mess of tangled limbs.

You knew Eddie had woken up before you, being able to feel his fingers absentmindedly messing with strands of your hair as your eyes opened for the first time in the morning. You didn't say anything as you snuggled up closer to him, and he didn't say anything as his arms tightened around you.

Part of you knew you'd have to talk about it, eventually. Because you'd be going home later today. And an even bigger part of you was dreading the talk; the one that would end whatever it was that happened in the last days.

Sunday was a day for relaxing, always has been. Everyone knew it was the last day in the house, everyone already woke up with the bitter taste of goodbye on their tongues.

But you enjoyed the day until the last minute;

Before breakfast, when Kathy and her husband asked if you'd like to accompany them to the nearby market. You enjoyed walking the familiar streets with Eddie's fingers loosely intertwined with yours, telling him a few stories of when you were growing up here.

During breakfast, with everyone sitting together at the table, already making plans for next year's gathering.

And when, as it also could be considered tradition, the whole family went for a walk on the beach. Feet burying in the sand and splashing the water of the waves.

You basked in the utopian feeling of sitting together on the porch, watching as the sun started to descend over the water ahead, painting the sky orange and pink, turning the waves golden. And Eddie was always there, with you, and it felt so right for him to be there.

Your parents had already left about an hour ago, having work early tomorrow morning and with the drive not being a fast one, they didn't want to arrive in Hawkins too late.

Seagulls were flying by, their singing mixing with the crashing of waves on the shore. And the sun was only getting lower.

You sat on the railings of the porch with Eddie in your arms, standing between your knees. It reminded you of your first night here, just two days ago, and yet it felt like so much had changed. Eddie was talking with Sean, one of his hands was around your waist and the other moved around enthusiastically as he said something about DnD.

There was no telling how things would be once you were back in Hawkins, once the whole couple facade was broken. Anxiety was hot in the pit of your stomach, all because of the grave you dug for yourself. How naive, to think you'd be okay after having a taste of what it would be like to call Eddie yours and then having to let him go.

Twirling a curl of his hair on your fingers, you took a last glance over the beach. You only noticed the bouncing of your knee when Eddie laid a hand on top of it, calming down the movement.

Sean was long gone, and from the look on Eddie's eyes, he has been watching your profile for a while. "You okay?" He frowned.

You pursed your lips. Suddenly, you felt like crying. "Yeah, fine." You swallowed once, then took in a breath. "We… we have to go, Eddie. Or we'll get home too late."

Eddie's lips parted, he had words on the tip of his tongue that he bit back, instead settling for; "yeah, you're right."

He helped you down, his hand gently holding onto yours, and with that, you intertwined your fingers with his one last time.

Ever since you moved to Hawkins, today just might be the day where it hurt the most to throw your bags in the trunk of the car to leave the beach house, you weren't expecting to have enjoyed the trip so much.

You bid your family goodbye with a tight hug to each of them, laughing as your grandmother squished Eddie's cheeks and told him how much of a good boy he was. And just like that, you were on the road again.

The car's engine rumbled to life, Eddie turned it around in the driveway and towards the street. You kept your eyes on the rearview mirror, watching as the white wooded house got smaller and smaller in front of the setting sun, the hands of your grandparents happily waving goodbye.

Rolling down your window, you allowed the coastal air to fill your nostrils, extending an arm out the window to feel the wind. You tipped your head back against the seat, closing your eyes.

Unbeknownst to you, Eddie switched his gaze between you and the road ahead. His eyes followed the line of your eyebrows and the curve of your lips, with the passing shoreline as background. Part of him wanted to ask what happens now? But the moment felt too delicate to be broken. He turned on the radio instead.

Around the halfway point of driving back, you and Eddie decided to stop at a gas station to pick up some snacks and fill the gas tank. It was dark already, insects were gathering under the artificial lights of the gas station. Only two other cars were there, from people with rather tired looks on their faces, — Eddie noticed, as he walked side by side with you to the convenience store — travelers too, no doubt.

There was a stray dog there, caramel in its color, who came to both of you with its tail wagging. You kneeled to pet him and Eddie followed suit; it was all casualty and routine, none of you mentioning the huge elephant in the room.

Inside, you went rummaging through the bags of chips whilst Eddie scanned the freezers for the drinks.

When he had both soda cans in hand, Eddie made his way to you. Without so much of a warning, he slung an arm around your shoulders, pressing the ghost of a kiss to your hairline in a moment of heart overtaking brain, before saying; "found that one you were telling me to try out, let's see if it's any good." He wiggled the can in his hand.

The bag of chips on your hands nearly popped open with the way you squeezed it, a shiver running down your spine with Eddie's affection. Your words tumbled out of your mouth before you could stop them. "Uh we're not at the house anymore, Eddie, there's no need to pretend here." You forced out a chuckle, if anything, to try and cut through the tension looming around you.

Eddie had never pulled himself away from you so quickly. He gulped, his eyes looking anywhere but you as he shifted his stance. "Shit, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I- I forgot." He grimaced, shaking his head.

"It's alright. No biggie." You mumbled back, hating yourself for making it weird. It was never supposed to be like that, Eddie has always been affectionate, even before this whole ordeal, why did it suddenly feel like… everything had more meaning?

You made a beeline for the bored cashier, desperate to have something take your mind off of the situation.

The cold from the soda cans on Eddie's hands was starting to pierce his skin and make it sting. He watched your quick steps away from him, watched how you took a piece of his heart with you and made the remaining one inside his chest bleed.

You and Eddie walked back to the car in silence, each one holding a bag. Only as you were about to open the passenger's door, that Eddie extended a hand to graze the skin on your wrist, it was enough to hold you in place and get you to reluctantly turn to him.

Eddie licked his lips, fumbling with his rings in anticipation. "Look, I'm- I'm sorry if I ever made you uncomfortable these last days. It was never my intention, I promise, I wouldn't-"

"Eddie no, you-" you stopped him, because the way his chocolate eyes were glistening under the street lights made your throat feel tight. Boundaries be damned, you thought to yourself, it's not like we haven't gone way past them already. You took his hands on yours, brushing his knuckles softly. "You could never make me uncomfortable, okay? Never. I'm just… a bit bummed that we're leaving, that's all."

In a haste, you brought one of his hands to your lips, planting a tender kiss on his fingers and mumbling; "don't worry." You managed a reassuring smile before getting into the car. A smile that Eddie saw right through.

It was already late at night when you arrived at Forest Hills Trailer Park. Eddie parked your car a little far from his trailer, you didn't comment on it.

The night sky was gloomy, several clouds hiding the stars. There seemed to be some kind of gathering happening on one of the other trailers, you could hear excited voices and music flowing through the air.

Gravel crushed under your feet as you exited the car, ready to help Eddie take his bags inside; but he didn't let you, he jogged his way around the front of the car and to you.

"Y/N, can we… talk?" He half extended a hand towards you, giving you the chance to let him in or push him away.

Seconds felt like hours as you stared at his outstretched hand, until you finally took it, fingers lazily hooking together, the folds on your skin fitting with his. Eddie pushed himself up on the hood of your car, sitting there and pulling you between his legs, close enough that you had to lay your hands on his waist. A smile tugged at your lips at the familiarity.

You avoided his eyes though, keeping your gaze on the belt loops of his pants you were playing with.

With a gentleness most people wouldn't believe he was capable of if you told them, Eddie traced the outline of your jaw, urging you to meet his eyes. "What's wrong, sweetheart? You've been quiet ever since we left the beach house."

You bit onto the inside of your cheek until you tasted iron, the beginning of tears pooling on the bottom lid of your eyes. "I'm sorry, Eddie. I- I never should've asked you to do it." You choked out.

He frowned at your words, the hand he had on your waist pulled you closer in an attempt of comfort.

"Going there, with me…" You elaborated. "I feel like… it might have been a mistake."

Eddie gulped, his lips pulling thin to stop their trembling. "A mistake?"

"Last thing I wanted was for this whole fake dating thing to get in the way of our friendship." You brushed the sleeve of your hoodie under your nose, sniffing to hold back your tears.

Chances were; you were feeling awkward about being around Eddie now, or — and he took a leap of faith in even allowing his brain to conjure up the thought — he might just be lucky enough that you feel the same way he does.

Holding tight to every last bit of courage inside him, Eddie took a deep breath, pushing strands of hair behind your ear; "were we… ever faking it?" His voice came out much quieter than he intended. "Or- or did I just imagine what we had? Because it felt real sometimes."

The last of his words came out in a breath, big brown eyes tearing up under the cheap lighting of the trailer park the same way yours was, looking at you with blown pupils; and at that moment, you realized there would never be a reality in which you wouldn't fall for him.

Your silence made Eddie's hands fidget with your hoodie. He squirmed in his seat, heart in his throat. "Because, I think I'd like it to be real."

The air in your lungs left you in a breath that didn't come back, and you were glad Eddie was holding you because your legs just about turned to jelly. "You serious?"

Eddie chuckled, a fond smile on his lips. "To be totally real with you, I wasn't faking any of it."

You tugged at the collar of his jacket, moving closer and leaning your forehead to his. You smiled when Eddie nuzzled your nose with his. "Neither was I."

Eddie's cheeks hurt with how big his smile got, his eyes crinkling on the sides. "Then, I'm guessing we won't have to tell your parents we're breaking up?"

Pulling away with a smile of your own, you lifted a brow. "That's what you're focusing on?" A stray tear dropped from your eye, now more in happiness than anything else.

Eddie brushed it away with his thumb in a gentle touch, pulling you in to lay a kiss on your forehead. He was buzzing with happiness, his heart light with joy and affection. He closed his eyes for only a second, lips still grazing your skin, to take in the feeling of finally, truly having you.

He pulled away but kept his hold on you, a boyish grin on his face. "Oh and, you know, the fact that maybe I can call you my girl for real from now on? No biggie."

You gripped his thighs and tilted your head with a grin, leaning your body closer to his. "You may."

Eddie didn't waste a second in pulling you in for a kiss, he was all passion and neediness, with a tight grip on you as if you'd go away if he let go.

The metal of your car was cold against you as you leaned a hand on it, the other going up to Eddie's head and burying itself in his curls. His lips were soft, tender, and perfect. It tasted different, kissing him for real.

A kiss that was soon broken by shared giggles, by the way Eddie hugged your body to his and gently swayed you both from side to side.

You wouldn't have to fake break up with him after all; and who knows, maybe next year, when you both drive down to the beach house as a real couple, this can be a funny story to tell over dinner.

⋆* ☾ ⋆*･ﾟ:⋆*･ﾟ

Thank you for reading this story. This one also took me weeks of writing, rewriting, and editing, so feedback and reblogs are very much appreciated so I can keep bringing you these stories. <3

Eddie’s taglist: @milkiane @bookfrog242 @alicefallsintotherabbithole @boooil @science--hoes @cherrypieyourface @tssf-imagines @daph-505 @astream-ofconsciousness @fentyreligion @fantasylovestoryme @justabeautiful-letdown @crazyrapunzel @yessica41 @dancing-hillary @bakugouswh0r3 @hehehehannahthings @jakebasement @zervopoulouu

@forverdaydreamer-blog @fromthedt @oeuryale @mcueveryday @palah @witchbinchstories @call-me-magpie @loveshineslikethesky @luvmybbies @tvserie-s-world @agirlsguidetolove @hallothankmas @ribyourtoplip @sweetpeapod @harringt8ns @forsaken-letters @hazydespair @fangirling-4-ever @electric-cabaret @ollyoxenfrees @linkpk88 @twinkofmydreams @paola-carter @masterlistmanic @xceafh

[ketsuyuki-hibana-typed]

Requested by @sherillda (maybe the user change the name, can't tag)

By the way, it's almost impossible for a Shinazugawa Sanemi to be in trouble at pinch situation (except final arc)

It's canon that he could hold sword's handle with his toe, he could stop the bleeding with his muscle (it's his ability), he could trigger Genya's gun RIGHT at his ear without disturbing his movements, he still moved fast even though the wounds were all over his body, not to mention he's PARTIALLY COLOR BLIND but didn't bothered by that.

Like, wow. Stan this man.

But again, I thought, "This is fiction, Hibana." Ah right, everything could happen.

Shinazugawa Sanemi x Pillar!Reader

Warning: Heavy Injury Description

"THAT THICK SKULL OF YOURS IS HARDER TO DEAL WITH!!"

"HAAH?!! WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST SAY?!"

It was a morning couple quarrel before Pillars meeting.

You wanted him to be more softer towards his students. You couldn't take their painful stories about the training and promised them to talk with Sanemi.

But it's getting worst.

"It's my students, and I could do whatever I fucking want!!"

"Yes! Yes, I know! But it's inhumane!!"

Thus, the squabble between you and him were continued until Oyakata-sama presented himself in front of the Pillars

In the middle of meeting, Oyakata suggested to make a pair mission for you two, because the request from a certain region was actually difficult.

But, Sanemi insisted to go alone and told Oyakata to assign you to other region.

"I'm afraid that she will get in my way."

It tickled you off. How dare you, how dare you Sanemi? I'm literally equal to you!! But you just stay on your folded feet, and tried to press your anger.

Oyakata-sama smiled and said, "She's not weak, Sanemi. You knew it too, she willl not be here if she's not strong. But, if you persisted."

It really pissed you off to see his hidden grinning on Oyakata's back.

The quarrels continued, now instead of talking about his students, you scolded him for being rude and implied that you're weak.

Himejima had to step up ande mediate between both of you. He pulled Sanemi off while Mitsuri calmed you down.

After that, you neither talk to him nor had lunch with him.

"COME!! ATTACK ME WITH ALL OF YOUR MIGHT! WHY, BECAUSE IM MAD RIGHT NOW!! HAHA, I'M WEAK?! LET'S PROOF IT THEN!"

That's nonsense!! Your students shivered in fear because you never being like this before, but they had no choice and attacked you.

They were like sand-bag for you today.

Sanemi's side wasn't getting better. Their train getting more excruciating than ever.

He still went to the assigned mission that night, without you of course. You went to assigned region.

No secret kissing, hugging and promise to stay alive together like always, you avoided him and he avoided you.

Because it's obvious. If both of you met again, you and him will just throw profanity each other again.

Sanemi's head was in cloud. He did everything to excite his anger on his way. Punching the trees, kicking stones, stomping the ground, cursing, anything.

"Dumb like her only thought about happy things and will be killed as soon as she stepped on this place."

He's too busy with his mind, and didn't realize there's demon who eyed on him from behind.

Meanwhile, you finished your part on your regions. Not in the blink of an eye, it's pretty difficult fight. There were wounds on your chest, but you still able to restrain the pains.

"I wonder how is Sanemi- WELL I DON'T CARE, WHATEVS, HE'S STRONG RIGHT?, HE DOESN'T NEED ME!"

After receiving some gratitude from the lower Demon Slayer Ranks because you helped them too, you planned to head back to headquarters.

And suddenly a loud blast was heard from the wood east.

You looked at the direction, it's Sanemi assigned region.

"Huh, why am I thinking about him. My job is done. I don't care."

But, you stopped your walk. What if the situation getting dangerous, what if the demon he met didn't intoxicate with his Marechi blood, what if-

'I had a bad feeling about this.' You clenched your fist. "Evacuate all of the villagers around here. For the rest of Demon Slayers, help Kakushis brought injured slayers back to the headquarters." You ordered the rest of Kakushis.

"Yes, (y/n)-sama!"

"Are you planning to go to that area? You got injuries too. Please let me treat you first." asked one of them.

"No worries, I could handle this alone. There's no time. I count on you."

"Understood."

That being said, you started to sway your bad feelings and run to his direction.

On the other hand, Sanemi's fight with the demon was started long ago.

He let out heavy gasp, getting battered from the annoying demon. He started to move recklessly, attacking with his breath techniques but none of it were able to take the monster down.

"Tch!"

Sansmi could feel the blood dripped on his abdomen, no, it's flowing now. "Fuck." He muttered under his breath, trying to surpress his wound with his muscle ability. He's tired, he know, but of course he couldn't run away from here. He knew there is village nearby and he couldn't let this giant demon murdered the villagers.

He jumped again to avoid random attack from the demon. His breathe was heavier than it should be.

A mere demon supposed to be intoxicated by his blood but now, his deep wound on his left and no sign of the demon to moving slower are the real proof that this isn't just a mere demon. A new type? Poison? Probably.

His back was sagged behind the tree, trying to catch a breath but failed. The demon didn't give him rest. It lifted its claws on the air, ready to torn him apart.

"Heh, you even won't let me breath?'

'At least, let me say sorry to her.'

"Couldn't believe that Great Shinazugawa will be in hopeless state like this."

Then, he saw a familiar yet beautiful breathing technique unleashed upon him.

"Third form!!" You gracefully stepped up in front of him, targeting its neck and pushing force thorough your blade.

"What, it's thick!" You jumped back, positioning yourself in stance, pointing your blade towards the demon and protecting Sanemi.

He stared your back with surprised expression. Aren't you going to your region? Why are you here?

"If you could stand, then help me out."

He stood up, joining you at your side. "Don't be a shitty brat, you're injured too."

"Whatever you call."

You tried once more again, with different form of breathing. He went to the other direction. Both of you tried to swing your blades on this demon, but it fend Sanemi's attack and pulled your back with his claw.

You cut its hand off, and quickly jumped backwards, using a tree to let you caught breathe for a moment before used the trunk to support your jump again.

"Fourth style!!"

This time, you and him succeeded to slashed your blade to its neck.

You saw it degraded into ash,nwiping your sweat from your temple. You looked at Sanemi laid down on the ground while panting hard.

"Are you okay?" You knelt in front of him, trying to not look so unsympathetic, even though all you wanna do now is hugged him, and told him, "I'm so relieved you're still alive."

"I don't need you."

"There you go again." You sighed. He sat down. "Let's treat your wo- huh?"

Your vision suddenly blurred. Your hands felt cold. Shivering, you started to lose control of your own body.

And fell into the ground.

Sanemi looked at you in shock. He moved forward and brought you into his embrace.

"Hey, what- goddammit." His palm felt sticky when he touched your back. He looked at his hands.

It made his heart sunk into his stomach. He swear he could make a small pool of your blood with his palm only.

It's not just a scratch, the demon tore your back apart, some of your muscle meat were about to fell off. He suspected it was from earlier when both of you was being attacked back.

"HANG ON!!" He screamed.

"Sa... Ne... Mi... What-"

"DON'T TALK AGAIN!" He quickly suturing the necessary skins to prevent your blood flowing more. He wrapped you in his haori, and soon your blood absorbed into the fabric. "I know you could bear this!! Hang in there!!"

He desperately tried to keep you awake by yelled and called your name while carrying you on his back.

You couldn't feel anything.

It's cold.

It's numb.

You remembered you didn't have chance to say sorry to him.

That one last thought and you dropped your body fully on to his back, unconscious.

You often heard somebody's voice in your sleep, calling your name but you can't move your finger, let alone your body. You couldn't do anything, just hearing that desperate voices saying, "I'm sorry. Please wake up."

It's a pity voice, you thought. I wanted to tell this person that I'm fine, that he didn't have to apologize.

And one day, you snapped your eyes open and white ceilings is the first thing you saw.

You gasped, processing the last fight that rolled again on your brain.

"Oh my God, he's right, I'm weak."

"You're awake and the first thing you say is that you're weak?" Shinobu entered your ward. You let out an awkward laugh. "How is your feeling?" She asked cheerfully.

"Better! I felt great!" You sat down with her help.

"That's good to hear, because I was threatened by your boyfriend if I didn't make you open your eyes in one week, he will kill me. Well, I doubt he could do that."

"Wait, I was sleeping for almost 1 week? I'm really sorry, Shinobu-chan."

"It's okay. I'm actually surprised too because it's a miracle that with this fatal injuries, you're still alive."

"...how bad is it?"

"Scratches on your back."

"Just scra-"

"Big and deep scratch, I could saw your spinal bone thorough your wounded back."

"That's- that's bad."

"Now you know. I will check on you later again. Please rest."

"Will do, thank you! Do you know where Sanemi is?"

"I don't know."

With one last waving, you put your back on the pillow. You looked at the table beside you, a vase with white lily in it and two untouched Ohagi.

"Must be him." you thought. You didn't expect him to visit you because you know he prefers training but looks like he really did stay here for awhile.

You stepped down from your bed slowly. Your back was still hurt but you really wanted to go outside and felt the sun.

It's really quiet here.

"Huh, my back must be so ugly now."

When you walked around, the triplets found and greet you, saying "I'm glad you're fine!"

You talked with them while sitting on engawa and that's when you saw Sanemi from afar. He also noticed you.

You stood up from your seat and waved at him.

"Sane- wha-"

He dropped everything on his hands and went towards you with furious steps.

And pinched your cheek.

"Wawawawa!!!"

"FINALLY, YOU FUCKING WAKE UP."

"Ah, Shinazugawa-san! (y/n) is still injured!"

"SHUT UP."

The girls were running away in fright, but not forgetting to wave at you.

You puffed your cheek and pressed your palm on both of it.

"It hur-"

He suddenly hugged you, almost made your back collided with the floor. He quickly held your back, preventing you to hit the wooden floor.

"Sa- Sanemi?"

He made you sat, still hugging you and planted his forehead on your crook.

"You're alive."

"Yeah? Looks like I am? You're being weird. I'm scared, a little."

"Shut up. It's my fault, I'm sorry."

"What-" He tighten up his embrace. You saw a vague red on his ear tip.

Oho.

"I won't repeat it twice."

"I get it, I get it. I didn't really think about it anymore." You caressed his hair and rubbed his cheek. "You're alive too, that's the matter."

"If I didn't being so stubborn and being more stronger, you probably didn't have to encounter this." He muttered on your skin. He really relieved when he saw you sat there, he really thought he will never see you again. When the thought of he never saw your smile again, he became crazy, and blamed himself. He couldn't help but think that it's his fault.

But now, you're breathing, he felt yiur warm skin, he felt your soothing voice again.

"Well, I'm sorry too, because you proofed my point, I'm the one who weaklings here."

"If you're weak, you di- nevermind, I don't want to think about it."

This dumb quarrel should've ended earlier.

"Yeah, me too." He pulled a warm smile and kissed your lips quickly. You blushed from the unexpected action.

He just realize what he has done and he wanted to hid his face right now.

Sanemi released his hug, changed his position. He put his head on your thighs, facing your stomach, and hugging your hips.

Not wanting to show his burning face.

"I wanted to sleep, I'm tired of taking care and guard the princess for almost one week. She gave me hard time. Wake me up at noon." You giggled.

"Sure." You stroked his white hair slowly. He shifted for a moment to find comfortable position. His stiff shoulder was relaxed and finally sunk into your tender body.

Your fellow Pillars were coming and heading on your way. You put your index finger on your lips while looking at them. All of the Pillars were stopped for a moment when he saw that feral man slept peacefully on your thighs.

Except one man, Uzui Tengen.

"Look, it's the guy who begging for his girlfriend to come back to life but being tsundere and now casually being intimate in the estate."

Sanemi snapped his eyes open, sat up and turned around. You jolted. Even though you couldn't saw it, you could feel Sanemi's malicious eyes pierced thorough that flamboyant man.

"I'LL KILL YOU, UZUI. I'LL KILL YOU."

[marvelxfandoms]

RAMON—H.W

Summary-You and Harry are having a very sentimental talk that eventually leads to more, but Cisco has to ruin it-Takes place during S4

Btw-Sorry if this sucks, its my first ever Harrison Wells fan fiction

(This is also on my Wattpad)

Warnings-Some cursing, partial smut

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Word Count: 2,183

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Y/N's POV

Harry's been working in his workshop for way too long now. It's really starting to bother me, he's not even spending anytime with me ever since Devoe has gotten into our lives. So I decided to talk to Cisco for this.

I walk into his workshop "Cisco!" "Yeah hold up, I'll be right there!" He yelled back. After a few minutes he finally met up with me "Yeah what's happening" "Harry's not spending time with me, but he's always working in his workshop. It's bullshit!" I said. "Y/N I know that Harry can be an asshole, but he has to solve who this Devoe guy is" Cisco says. "It's like he has time to fuck his work and has no time to fuck me" I say in a strong voice. "Well I didn't need to know that, and I'm gonna pretend I never heard that" "Well the more you know" Cisco and I chuckle.

"Tell me how you feel, but without any sexual tensions. Cause I don't want to be ruined again, I've already seen his 'lower regions." Cisco says as he's staring off in the distance with disgust on his face. "When did you ever see his d— oh wait, never mind" I say as I remember the Council of Wells.

"Okay carry on with your rant about Harry not spending time with you" "Harry's always in his workshop, day and night, so even at night I can't be with him so I'm always in bed alone and I'm not used to that. When I try and help him he always saves me off like he's entranced to his work and can't have and bothers." "Mmhmm" "Every Time he's on break he doesn't even bother to say 'hi' or 'hello' to me, and that's what truly bothers me. He never gets any time to spend with me." I say as tears start to form in my eyes. "No don't cry. He will always be like that, he's a stubborn man who will not stop working at any case just to figure out the solution to a problem. If I can do anything to help you I can try and talk to him" Cisco says. "That would be great if he would listen to you" "Ohhhh, believe me he will" Cisco says with a smirk as I chuckle. "Thank you so much Cisco. What can I do to repay you?" "You can tell Harry to stop being a dick to me?" "Ohhh, believe me, it's gonna be hard to persuade him" I say and we both laugh. "So when are you going to talk to him?" "I'm gonna march into his workshop right now and tell him" "Okay, but just be careful he might lash at you" "Don't worry once I bring up your name he'll shut up" "Hahaha, okay, what ever you say. Thank you again Cisco" "Don't worry, I would do anything for my sister from another mother" He says as we hug.

Cisco's POV

As I walk into Harry's workshop I smell a bunch of coffee and a little bit of alcohol in here. "Harry!!! Come out, come out wherever you are!" "Jesus Ramon, warn me when you barge into my workshop!" Harry yells as he throws his coffee on the floor. "Hey, what the hell Harry! Your cleaning up your mess after you do what I tell you to do" "And why would I listen to you Ramon?" "Because it's about  Y/N" As I brought up Y/N's name Harry became instantly worried. "Why? Did something happen to her? Is she hurt? What did you do?!" "She's hurt emotionally, and not because of me, it's because of you."

Harry got up and started marching towards me and I almost pissed myself when I saw his face. He looked totally pissed "Harry I swear I didn't do anything. She's hurt because of y—." I was cut off my Harry choking me against the wall. "Don't you dare blame anything on me, I'll only believe it if it's coming from my Y/N!"

"Harry stop choking Cisco cause he's telling the truth" Y/N's voice came out of no where, but thank god.

Harry finally let go of me "Ramon get out"

"What wh-." "Just get out so we can talk"

"Cisco, listen to him" with that I walk out, but before I left I whispered to Y/N "Just know that he does love you and he will do anything for you" Y/N nodded and then hugged me. After the hugging was done I left, and as I was leaving I could feel Harry's deadly eyes on me.

Your POV

"Oh no, no honey I'm just working too hard on finding who this Devoe bitch is" Harry said. "I know that, but you always ignore me when I try and get near" "I do that so I can get things done quicker and spend time with you when I'm done" Harry said, and at this point I was crying. " I just want to spend time with you" "I know but I have to work so we can find our DeVoe" Harry says. "Harry is DeVoe your husband or something?" "No, bu-" "No buts Harry! I feel like we're drifting apart and I can' take it anymore!" "Love I-" "Harry let me speak!" With that he instantly shut up. "Harry all I want is you and I just want to spend time with my boyfriend during these rough times. I want to spend time with you since your always stressed and angry, and I just want to help you get less stressed and help the team not get affected by your rage fits.  Your the best thing that has ever happened in my life and I want to help you in anyway, and I would do anything to help you." At this point I could see that Harry was sorry and filled with guilt. "Harry I know that all of this isn't your fau-" I was cut off by Harry walking up to me and giving me a warm embrace. "No, no love, it is my fault. I haven't been spending any time with you during these rough times. I should've been thinking more about you and how you were feeling instead of working." He kisses my temple. "I'm so sorry. Is there any way I can make it up to you?" I look up at him and wrap my arms around his neck. "I think there might be one thing you could do to get my forgiveness."

As I say this he smirks at me and starts backing me up into the wall. "Oh love, you know just how to work me up" Every time he spoke he kissed me, and every time he got lower. "I'm" kiss on my lips, "going" kiss on my cheek, "to" kiss on my temple, "show you" kiss on my neck, "how much" kiss on my collarbone, "I love you" and when he kissed my sweet spot I couldn't hold my sounds back. He trailed right back up to my lips and we started to kiss aggressively to see who would win dominance, but we both knew that he would win. "Jump" Harry said in a lust filled voice, and goddamnit he knows how much I love it when he uses that voice. I jump and wrap my legs around his waist and he leads us to his desk in the room. He sweeps off all of his work on his desk like it was all useless and not important. "Harry, your work!" "I don't give one fuck about the work right now cause all I'm focused on right now is you and you only." As he says this he places me on the desk like I'm the most fragile and important thing in the world for him. "I'm gonna make you feel like a fucking queen right now." With this statement he whips my shirt right off of me and almost starts to take off my pants, but I stop him. "Harry stop" He looks at me like a deer in headlights "Why, what happened, what did I do?" He asks me in his nice, nervous, and cute voice that I also love. "It's what you didn't do" I say as I smirk. "What did I not do?" At this, I tugged on his iconic black sweater, and then he finally got the idea. "Ohhh, I see. Well your wish is my command Miss L/N" With this he strips off his sweater and undershirt, and he reveals his god like body. "You like what you see?" He says with an eyebrow raised, since he saw me gawking at his body. "You know I like what I see" I say as he snaps me out of my entrancement. "Good cause I like, wait no, I love what I see." After staring at each other in awe, Harry and I start moving closer to each other's lips, and then I make the move to attack his lips with mine. He then starts to fight back by gaining back his dominance.

I guess we were so lost in each other's embrace and make out session that we didn't hear the footsteps leading to the lab. "Hey Y/N, Harry how are you guys? I hope you guys aren't still mad at each other since I couldn't hear any— OMG MY EYES!" That's all we heard from Cisco. "Oh goddamnit-Ramon what did I tell you about barging into my room without warning me first!"Harry yells as he tries to cover me up from Cisco's view. "I'm sorry I thought you guys were fighting and I wanted to check up on you two so you wouldn't kill each other!" Cisco yells back. "I didn't think that you guys were gonna end up having make up sex!" "Well, you don't know us that well then" I say, and Harry chuckles. Cisco rolls his eyes at us both, "Y/N I expected more out of you and Harry I-" Cisco stops for a little bit. "Harry I just don't know what to expect from you now, and Harry you have your own ROOM and BED to do the nasty in..." "Ramon" Harry tries to cut him off. "....you don't have to fuck on a desk..." "Ramon" "...just to let you know its a lot more comfier to have sex in a bed..." "Ramon!" "What!" Cisco finally stops rambling. "Get out." Harry says in the calmest way possible. "Ok fine, but can you guys not do it in the lab, people walk in here and sometimes work in here" "Cisco, let me tell you something." "Yes?" "We're doing it in the lab cause there's more fun involved" I say to Cisco as I wink at Harry, and I could tell that Harry really wanted Cisco out of the room now. "Y'all are disgusting, why would you tell me thi-" "Ramon. Get. Out." "Well I can see that someone's anx-" "RAMON! OUT!" "Ok, ok. Calm down I'm going, and by the way, you guys better clean up after-" "Cisco get out" I say. "Ohhhh, I see Harry isn't the only horny on-" "Get Out!" Harry and I say in sync. With that Cisco literally fled the room, and yelled down the hall "Y'all better use protection!" Me and Harry chuckle. Harry walked to the door and locked it completely, and then he walked right back to me with lust blown eyes. "So where were we?" Harry said right as he got to me. "Hmmmm, let me think." I said with my hand resting upon my chin, looking like I was thinking. "If I remember you were about to take me on your desk. Am I right?" "That's just what I was thinking" Harry said as he started to kiss me.

With that, all I can say is that we stayed in the lab all day, and we never left that room until the morning.

The End

Welp, here's the first chapter of this Tom Cavanagh/Harrison Wells' x reader fanfic book. It's not that good, but its the best I could do. It would mean a lot to me if u could give me some feedback on this and maybe give me some advice for my future chapters. Btw requests are open for now. Hope u guys enjoyed this chapter, and hope u guys have a great night/day!

[blackheart-skz]

Ateez as Yanderes.

TW: Mentions of abusive behaviour, toxic relationships, violence, self-harm and other topics that might be triggering.

Note: I am, in no way, trying to romanticize or portray the persons involved as heroes. The behaviour of the characters is not healthy and extremely harmful. If you or someone you know sees such characteristics in someone, do not overlook it. Furthermore, this is a work of fiction. I am not trying to represent the idols through my writing.

Ahhh I'm actually not very good at doing reactions. I feel that for some of the members I did a sort of a mini scenario but then for others it's like a description oof. Hope it's not super bad.

Kim Hongjoong = Over-proctective

- Hongjoong's caring and protective personality was what made you like him and now the same personality makes you despise him

- Hongjoong does not trust you at all

- He thinks you're incapable of doing things without him

- He treats you like a porcelain doll that could easily break

- He has put a lot of restrictions on where you can go or what you can do

- He will not let you go anywhere without his permission or go somewhere without him

- He doesn't trust you with anyone

- People are evil and they could hurt his precious one

- He is very afraid of something bad happening to you

- If you even get a minor cut, he will freak out and will not even let you move

- You do not have the freedom to do anything

- If you ever say that you want to leave him, he will lock you up

- He thinks that you're not mentally strong enough to know what's good for you

- And that's what drives him become your guardian and imprison you in your own house

Park Seonghwa = Dominant/Narcissistic

- Seonghwa has a huge ego

- Rejection is one thing he never accepts

- He expects everyone to worship him and you're no exception

- You wouldn't have been forcibly taken away and chained in his basement had you not uttered the word "no" to his face

- If you do anything that he even feels was disrespectful or if you try to leave him, he will severely punish you

- He sees inflicting pain and other severe punishment methods a way to mold you into his perfect slave

- You have to be really careful to not displease him cuz his anger is unpredictable

- He will reward you if you're obedient at all times

- He also makes sure he is the only person you invest your time and effort in

- He is your master and your life should revolve around him and him only

Jeong Yunho = Jealous/Overly-sensitive

- Yunho started off as the best man ever but then as time passed, the good in him started fading away.

- He started getting jealous a bit too often

- And now it's a daily occurence

- He does not trust you one bit

- He downloaded a tracking app on your phone so that he can keep track of where you go

- You talking to any guy or girl makes him go absolutely nuts

- he threatens people behind your back

- He also twists your words a lot which is rooted from his lack of trust as well

- He thinks that everything you say has a hidden implication behind it

- Like seonghwa, he wants your life to be about him

- He doesn't like you giving attention to anyone else be it a person or a hobby

- So if you want to talk to your mom or write a bunch of poems as a hobby, too bad.

Kang Yeosang = Sadistic/Cruel

- Yeosang was very good at hiding his sadistic side when he first met you.

- He used his charming looks and soothing voice to make you fall in love with him

- Once that happened and you entered into a relationship with him, his true colours started showing

- He slowly started getting both physically and emotionally abusive

- His initial reason was to keep you with him but eventually he started enjoying it

- As much as he loves you, seeing you helpless and at his mercy pleasures him to no end

- He prefers using physical punishments over emotional anytime you disobey him

- He loves seeing you break piece by piece

- But he also likes peppering you with kisses and telling you how gorgeous you are

- which makes him even more scarier

- Trying to leave him is not a smart idea at all

- You try to run away and he breaks your legs

- He will never hesitate to use excruciatingly painful methods to keep you from leaving

Choi San = Manipulative

- Just like Yunho, at first, he treated you like a king/queen

- But then slowly he started becoming a bit too obsessive and wanted to be with you 24/7 and know everything that you did

- He wants to know every single detail of your life

- If you ever try to reject him, he starts guilt tripping you

- He says that you're ungrateful for all the things that he does for you

- Afterall, he did treat you like no one else in the beginning

- Your family and friends slowly start cutting ties from you

- You don't know why but San knows very well

- If you find him being too burdensome and call out his behaviour, he blames it on you instead

- He targets your weaknesses to justify his behaviour and make you feel guilty

- No matter what, he never admits that he's wrong

- If you try to blame him, he starts playing victim

- He makes himself seem so pitiful that you can't help but feel guilty

- If you ever try to leave him, he would threaten to kill himself

- He will make you feel like you're the bad one in the relationship

- And you'll not have anyone to go to either so it's a win for him

Song Mingi = The clingy/stalker type

- Mingi was absolutely mesmerized by your beauty when he saw you for the first time

- He wanted to talk to you but he didn't have the courage to so he just start following you around and keeping track of every move you made

- He found out everything about you from what school you went to to what your pet peeve was before he made a move

- It took him a year worth of courage to eventually talk to you and of course considering how much he knew about you, he also knew what he had to do in order to make you fall for him

- And it worked

- Once that happened, Mingi stuck to you like gum

- Now, he does not leave your side for even a minute

- He wants to be with you 24/7 and sends you over a 100 texts everyday

- If you try to leave him for even a second he'll throw a tantrum and cling on to you to you like a koala

- Has become too dependent on you and you would actually believe him if he says that he would die without you

- coming back to him biting his nails to the point that his fingers were bloody and him literally jumping on you when after you left him alone for not even 3 hours is enough proof for you to believe him

- He has never and never will hurt you but he wont hesitate to hurt others

- He hasn't yet but he surely will if you don't take his threats seriously

Jung Wooyoung = Delusional

- A very dangerous yandere

- but more than that a pitiful yandere

- He isn't able interpret your words or read your emotions

- He mistook your gesture of kindness as an invitation for love

- After helping him once, you started seeing him around a bit too often

- He started talking to you as if you guys were close friends

- You ignored him but he never stopped

- After a while, he started treating you like his girlfriend/boyfriend though you barely knew him

- At that point you realized that this wasn't normal and you needed to do something

- You told you friends and were planning to contact the police

- Wooyoung started noticing how people looked at him weirdly and he thougjt its cuz they were jealous of your "relationship" and want you guys to break up

- You had come to the final decision to report him but before you could, he kidnaped you and locked you up in his house claiming that he's trying to "protect" your relationship

- The more you try to push him away, the closer got

- Be it physically or emotionally

- None of your attempts to snap him out of his imaginary work

- His imagination is too far gone for him to come back

Choi Jongho = The selfish/violent type

- A bit of what you would call a spoiled brat

- A lot actually

- What he wants, he gets

- Even if that means hurting others in the process

- He's a selfish man and he isn't scared to acknowledge that

- Kinda like Seonghwa but not quite

-Unlike him, Jongho is aware of what he's doing

- Seonghwa's ego leads him but Jongho leads his ego

- Jongho doesnt hesitate to get violent either

- You disobey him, he punishes you

- But the fact that he remains calm both before the punishment and after shows that he isn't actually bothered by your behaviour

- He just likes the power he has over you

- To him it doesn't matter if you love him or not, you're something that he admires therefore he has to have you

- No matter what you do, his heart will never go soft and even if it does, it will only be to an extent where he let's you breathe freely

[baekhvuns]

That El Clasico.... I didn't watch it and I'm glad. Benzema saved our asses again, sigh...

Yep it kinda makes sense for older players to go the easier way, lots of money, not so many wins ajhdhsishusshusgeshw cause let's face it, what are they going to achieve in non-European clubs 😬Lmao when Kaka the church boy divorced?!

I don't have my football cards anymore, unless they're at my grandparents house 👀

Wow, Argentina really went full in, huh? Masterminds, Cristiano destroyed. Zidane is only 50 and already a granddaddy, it's so weird 😭

Harry is clearly traumatised which I understand, however there's no need to trauma dump on the whole world and reveal TMI??? Perhaps you're right, maybe the Diana x Sausage Fingers marriage wouldn't go downhill (at least not in that way) if they had a daughter

Okay SuJu members need to attend the Wrestlemania, I hope that LSM is going to be a contestant as well 🔫 yes EXO makes the most sense. It's tricky since they're in their military era, but hopefully once Baek comes back they'll get some more schedules together, because the group deserves better :/ I was afraid SM would ditch Shinee or do things in a half-assed way, but so far I'm pretty content with the pro-military content (they suck at promos, but it's not just Shinee)

The webtoon is gonna kill me, who knew a little high school romance is going to be the death of me?! I'm still team black hair Eunhyuk, but Dohwa is fun, if he was the lead in a different work I'd be 100% into him! But alas...... it's unclear whether he has any romantic intentions, but it's highly likely. Spoiler: they both took photobooth photos with the FL (individually) and last chapter ended with both of them staring at the photos fondly, while FL pinned both on her wall 😭

Alright but THIS man too 😍

So the kid is Sonnaught's 💀 but Tasir was crowned as the Royal Consort 👑 so I'd say he's winning, got the title, got no child to look after <3

Yep, obviously Draco's spoilt ass deserved some whooping, cause kid was delulu, however the pressure his father and Voldy put on him?! And the scene when Harry uses the torture spell on him, I cried in the cinema 💀 Narcissa was an icon!

A CHAT NOIR HWA FIC 😳 do not tease me!!!

Jude is a great actor, I can't believe he played Dumbledore AND the Pope too 😭 him in The Holiday <3 but also in Talented Mr Ripley he looked like a European actor from the 70s-80s

Atinys can't decide whether Ateez members have positions or not, it's so annoying

Park Seonghwa literally serving a whole ass photoshoot at the fan sign, at this point maybe fansites should hire him for a shoot 😭 the masked photos 😳

I wanted the cool patterns to be visible, so I didn't get the 🐍 coloured. The work is so detailed, spend quite a lot of time on them, plus the red ink hurt a bit more, but it was worth it. Okay you dislike snakes, but serpent Seonghwa...

Okay if it was a small spider then it's fine, especially since they deserved it!

Ponytail Mingiiiiiiiiiii that was an experience for sure. Please why is Hwa so endearing, everything he does is so cute especially when he's being clueless 🥰 Absolutely, Seonghwa needs to write, songs, poems, fiction, an instruction manual idc

Oh Pique thinks he did something... clown worthy behaviour. A whole ass witch mannequin, what kind of timeline is this 😭😭😭😭 Pique's a mama's boy in the worst possible way, yikes, they both can fuck off

Guess some people notice the serial fan callers, but they don't care cause they provide cute videos 🙃 Awww so much SeongSang moment.

If he worked at my cafe I'd be on caffeine and sugar rush 24/7

I'm sure Mark has a lot of girlfriends and boyfriends he just doesn't know 😭

😌 he - DV 💖

hello!!

That El Clasico.... I didn't watch it and I'm glad. Benzema saved our asses again, sigh... //// Yep it kinda makes sense for older players to go the easier way, lots of money, not so many wins ajhdhsishusshusgeshw cause let's face it, what are they going to achieve in non-European clubs 😬Lmao when Kaka the church boy divorced?!

everyone maybe afraid of rm, but rm’s afraid of barca 🤚🏻HUMILIATING I TELL U idk what went wrong with the team, they had beasts yet it felt bland,, barca’s youngest were playing like THAT in front of modric???? benzema??? kroos??? VINI??? bro wasn’t even ALIVE,, waiting for a psg v alnassr friendly that’s about to be anything but friendly and i have no hope for the teams bc they all did wack <3 DID U SEE THE ALNASSR RIVAL CLUB OFFERING 350$ MILLION TO MESSI???? WHAT TYPE OF WEALTH IS HAPPENING THERE??? the ultimate religious church boy’s divorce <3 i thought he was against it bfdbbddb

I don't have my football cards anymore, unless they're at my grandparents house 👀 /// Wow, Argentina really went full in, huh? Masterminds, Cristiano destroyed. Zidane is only 50 and already a granddaddy, it's so weird 😭

on my way actually, gimme all the iconic ones <3 argentina used ronaldo’s weakness and it worked! ITS SO WEIRD IT IS !!!! and the way it’s a girlie in a house of 6 boys??? better be rotten spoiled 🔫 imagine having the privilege of saying zidane’s my grandfather 😭😭😭

Harry is clearly traumatised which I understand, however there's no need to trauma dump on the whole world and reveal TMI??? Perhaps you're right, maybe the Diana x Sausage Fingers marriage wouldn't go downhill (at least not in that way) if they had a daughter

yeah! it’s the dismissal of not agreeing you’re traumatized and then monetizing on the very thing that seemingly made you traumatized and then saying you’ve got another book ready 😭😭😭 the diana tmi was too much for me,, did not want to picture her in that way,,, SAUSAGE FINGERS BRKQHDKWHDKSHDLWJCLWUDOWNCMSKH UR RIGHT 😭😭😭😭

Okay SuJu members need to attend the Wrestlemania, I hope that LSM is going to be a contestant as well 🔫 yes EXO makes the most sense. It's tricky since they're in their military era, but hopefully once Baek comes back they'll get some more schedules together, because the group deserves better :/ I was afraid SM would ditch Shinee or do things in a half-assed way, but so far I'm pretty content with the pro-military content (they suck at promos, but it's not just Shinee)

lsm fighting a suju member, waiting for this <3 it’s confirmed they are making a cb after baek comes back! it’s said to be around spring! BAEK IS BACK IN A MONTH, ANON WE ARE OUT OF THE DROUGHT ITS HAPPENING !!!!! BAEK COMIMG AND NEXT IS TAEMIN !!!!!! lots of solo stuff too! exo idoling would bring back kpop i tell u, but if it’s that noise music id cry,,,, shinee world tour also!!! i think onew and key confirmed AND KEY REPACKAGE ALBUM !!!!! sm really sucks at promos, if they promoted their group OUTSIDE of asia rightly we would’ve seen a kpop break thru quite quickly!

The webtoon is gonna kill me, who knew a little high school romance is going to be the death of me?! I'm still team black hair Eunhyuk, but Dohwa is fun, if he was the lead in a different work I'd be 100% into him! But alas...... it's unclear whether he has any romantic intentions, but it's highly likely. Spoiler: they both took photobooth photos with the FL (individually) and last chapter ended with both of them staring at the photos fondly, while FL pinned both on her wall 😭 //// Alright but THIS man too 😍

THE BREAKDOWN U HAVE EVERY TIME I SEE U TALK ABOUT THAT WEBTOON IS HILARIOUS DBWNDBSN the way u turn into a detective wondering about his intentions 😭😭😭😭 ON THE WALL???? HE DID THE WALL??? BFQMDBMWFBKWJCKCJCK WEAK ON THE KNEES !!!!!! FELL IN MY WALMART !!!! im gonna start reading this webtoon 🔫 THAT IS SEONGHWA FROM UR FRIENDS DREAM THAT IS HIM

So the kid is Sonnaught's 💀 but Tasir was crowned as the Royal Consort 👑 so I'd say he's winning, got the title, got no child to look after <3 //// Yep, obviously Draco's spoilt ass deserved some whooping, cause kid was delulu, however the pressure his father and Voldy put on him?! And the scene when Harry uses the torture spell on him, I cried in the cinema 💀 Narcissa was an icon!

did sonnaught’s red hair gene kick in- TASIR HAD IT EASY

STOP WHEN HARRY WALKED IN SAYING “I KNOW WHAT U DID” WHILE DRACO WAS AT HIS PEAK ANGST HAVING A BREAKDOWN, THE CRY I CREWED 😭😭😭😭 half blood prince, i wanted to physically jump in the movie and protect him,,,,,, the way he acted 🤌🏻😮‍💨 SHE REALLY WAS !!!!! so nice too 😭 the only one who was actually nice to draco

A CHAT NOIR HWA FIC 😳 do not tease me!!! /// Jude is a great actor, I can't believe he played Dumbledore AND the Pope too 😭 him in The Holiday <3 but also in Talented Mr Ripley he looked like a European actor from the 70s-80s

superhero hwa fic, on the way 🫡 the diversity of this man is so good, his projects that he chooses too!!! in mr riply, that man omg, he was like if alain delon went young again 🤚🏻

Atinys can't decide whether Ateez members have positions or not, it's so annoying //// Park Seonghwa literally serving a whole ass photoshoot at the fan sign, at this point maybe fansites should hire him for a shoot 😭 the masked photos 😳

atiny’s can’t decide anything, esp the twt ones 😭😭😭😭 they should be the last ones to decide anything bc it will always be unhinged,,, WAIT UR ONTO SOMETHING FANSITES ASKING HIM FOR A SHOOT 👀👀👀 need a pshbar so they can professionally shoot photos for him 🤚🏻 need him in a white button up, sleeves rolled up, buttons unbuttoned (first 4), in a italian summer, on a boat, with raybans one??? a must. need gucci to hire him. or me. i will make it happen.

I wanted the cool patterns to be visible, so I didn't get the 🐍 coloured. The work is so detailed, spend quite a lot of time on them, plus the red ink hurt a bit more, but it was worth it. Okay you dislike snakes, but serpent Seonghwa... /// Okay if it was a small spider then it's fine, especially since they deserved it!

AHHHHH omg but anon ur so cool for that !!!! 🫡 but did not know red ink hurted differently! i wouldn’t say i dislike them but i just get body chills whenever i see their skin, it’s so leathery and slimey and mAKES ME CRINGE but serpent hwa 😯😯

Ponytail Mingiiiiiiiiiii that was an experience for sure. Please why is Hwa so endearing, everything he does is so cute especially when he's being clueless 🥰 Absolutely, Seonghwa needs to write, songs, poems, fiction, an instruction manual idc

ponytail mingi was out of hand and if he pulls that at concerts again, i am officially resigning from life <33 seonghwa, everytime, how can someone be so endearing 24/7 😭😭😭 he can right hello and id buy it ONLY IF THE SHIPPING ISNT OVER 100$

Oh Pique thinks he did something... clown worthy behaviour. A whole ass witch mannequin, what kind of timeline is this 😭😭😭😭 Pique's a mama's boy in the worst possible way, yikes, they both can fuck off /// Guess some people notice the serial fan callers, but they don't care cause they provide cute videos 🙃 Awww so much SeongSang moment.

HE KEEPS TAKING AN L AND ITS SO EMBARRASSING BC HE ACTUALLY THINKS HES DONE SOMETHING RIGHT 😭😭😭 omf ur right, pique’s the ultimate mama’s boy in the most sickly but shakira a whole detective, found out he was cheating thru a jam??? ur right, if that many ppl do it, imagine the amount of ppl we have no idea about 😭😭

If he worked at my cafe I'd be on caffeine and sugar rush 24/7 //// I'm sure Mark has a lot of girlfriends and boyfriends he just doesn't know 😭 //// 😌 he - DV 💖

FBWMFBWMJCKCJ SUDDENLY WILL BECOME A COFFEE LIKER 😭😭😭 see anon he knows u haven’t read model hwa again, or given him the chance, he’s back at it again b-but what about him it’s me, im mark’s gf actually 🥰🥰

AND THIS 😭😭😭

it should be illegal to have gifs this clear

i also want to ask since i recently stumbled upon a few podcasts and stories about this, when u mentioned u went to varanasi, did u perhaps see or sense the immense spiritual ness about that place? bc i believe there’s an insane amount of people there who worship the death, did u perhaps have any experience seeing something like that? like something strange or a shift in vibes bc there’s just so much religious stuff there?

[codename-bewareofthefangirl]

Any headcanons how would horror movie marathon go with MatsuHanaIwaOi? :3c Who pretends not to be scared, who freaks out all the time, who is bored, who leaves in the scariest moments bc he 'has to pee' or 'can't watch movies without popcorn and they just run out of it' and absolutely not bc he's scared (bc he's not. Not that others believe him)? And what's next? How do they sleep (if they sleep at all), who sees things in the dark? Etc. :3c

Hi dear! How’s going? I hope you’re holidays are going well. 

I’ve received a hard blow and lately I don’t feel really good in general, just…very stressed and sad under the surface? But I’m fighting it and writing is one of my ways! So I answered this ask because I LOVE MATSUHANAIWAOI and writing about them make me smile. (sorry for the selfishness) These dorks. I hope you’ll like it too.

 MatsuHanaIwaOi, Horror Movie Nights Headcanons

 -Let’ start with the kind of horror-watcher they are:

Iwaizumi usually prefers the ones leaning more toward the thriller side and doesn’t like the supernatural ones; however, he watches everything his boyfriends ask. He is sort of impossible to scare off, the worst they have seen him do was clenching his fists; it’s just that, in his mind, they are fictional, so there’s no reason to be afraid and consequently he’s not.

Matsukawa is the horror lover! He enjoys every type, even the most shitty and splatter ones. He freaks out at the right moments during the movies, but he loves the thrill and the adrenaline. He also likes to comment under his breath and talks with the characters.

Oikawa is the “I fake I’m not afraid because I’m too proud but I’m actually freaking out” type. He refuses to admit he’s scared, every time. Even if he knows they know he’s lying, he insists he can take it. And then he spends the movie trying to flee during the scary scenes with different excuses until the others reach their limit and block him down.

Hanamaki is terrified and has admitted it from the start. He hates horror movies. He protests and tries everything, from the puppy-eyes to the steamy kisses, to persuade them to choose something else; he gets scared easily and screams loudly, holding onto them or hiding under the blankets. He’s not embarrassed about that, he’s a man who can admit his weaknesses, not like somebody else…

-Every movie night, in a rotation, one of them chooses the movie. 99% Matsukawa chooses a horror movie. Iwa agrees easily, Oikawa pales and stifles a smile, Makki glares. Then, the latter two tries in a (not really) subtle way to make him change his mind. They bribe or threaten him, propose other movies or activities and, when nothing works, they make up excuses to go to their room and do something else.

-The problem is that Matsukawa and Iwaizumi love when they freak out and get all clingy, so they punctually force them to watch it. They literally drag them on the coach.

-“I’m not scared, Iwa-chan. I have homework to do!”

“You have already finished them for the entire week, you can’t take a break.”

“Well, unlike liar-Tooru here, I simply hate them and, yes, I’m scared so- ISSEI PUT ME DOWN!”

“Sorry babe, I watched your tooth-rotting rom-com last Friday and even went to buy a muffin to comfort you after the heartbreaking end. You can endure this for me, don’t you?”

“Sly devil…”

“I’M NOT SCARED!”

“Then you don’t have problems watching one, right Tooru?”

“…right. Don’t bother me when you’ll have nightmares!”

-The positions are: Iwaizumi on the left, near the light, switches ‘cause he’s the only one enough brave to stand up and switch them on after the end; Oikawa beside him, hugging a pillow and fidgeting nervously; Makki between Oikawa and Matsukawa, wrapped in blankets, and using Matsukawa’s arm as a shield.

-Oikawa waits exactly five minutes before saying they need popcorn to enjoy the movie properly, and it takes him like ten minutes, instead of three, to make them. Then, he has to go to the bathroom. Check his e-mails because maybe the professors needed something! Or he needs to walk a little because is legs have fallen asleep…at this point, Iwaizumi traps him by his side and prohibits him to move until the end.

-Actually, Mattsun and Iwa are not all that cruel and, when they think a scary or bloody scene is going to happen, they promptly cover their boyfriends’ eyes.

-Iwaizumi has the habit to make pragmatic (or cynic) remarks about surreal or absurd aspects of the movie, especially if it’s a supernatural one.

“A normal girl would have called for help instead of opening the door, is she retarded?”

“She had heard screaming!”

“Exactly.”

-Oikawa, since he thinks he has a pride to protect, doesn’t scream or tremble. He just tenses and pales, clenching his teeth hard to not let a sound escape. He also uses the excuse of Makki being scared to wrap himself around him and when he thinks nobody is looking, he hides his face in Makki’s neck.

-At this point, Mattsun and Iwa usually join the pile and hug protectively the two scaredy-cats.

-Makki empathizes easily with the characters and this ends with him mumbling or screaming at them.

“Wait! Don’t go! Oh shit she’s gonna die, isn’t she?”

“Hiro, please, she-”

“I KNEW IT! YOU IDIOT! Why are you this stupid?”

“Well, she was playing around with guys instead of studying so-”

“Really, Iwa-chan?”

-Oikawa and Hanamaki aren’t allowed to keep the popcorn because both, in different occasions, had thrown them in the air due to a jump scare. Iwaizumi isn’t allowed either since he finishes them in less than ten minutes. Matsukawa is too lazy for that, so they put the bowl on the small table in front of the couch.

-No really, Iwa loves popcorn. They have to slap his hands away before he ends up with a stomach ache.

-Movie nights require being in pajamas for three reasons: 1) PJs are cute and comfy 2) afterward, they don’t want to spend time alone to change 3) sometimes they fell asleep directly on the couch.

-In bed, they sleep with Matsukawa hugging Oikawa who snuggles Hanamaki who’s being hugged by Iwaizumi, but in the morning they end up huddled on each other in a hot mess of limbs.

-Hanamaki has the horrible habit of asking if that shadow is really a shadow or if they had heard that noise? during the night. And it’s incredibly creepy. Half of the times, Oikawa breaks down and kicks Iwaizumi off the bed to go and check everything is fine.

This happens more than once. Some nights they don’t fall asleep until the morning. (Dorks.)

-Mattsun usually starts wondering aloud if is it possible in real life to break into an apartment like that or if a demon infested their house what would happen? in a completely serious voice. And this is creepier than Hanamaki, so Iwaizumi has to shut him up before things escalate (Or Oikawa kisses him because he really can’t take it anymore)

-Hanamaki sometimes has very vivid nightmares, who makes him scream or waking up in the middle of the night covered in cold sweats. Luckily, his boyfriends are there for him to whisper fond and reassuring things in his ears as they lull him back to sleep. Oikawa is especially good with his words, while Iwaizumi’s arm around the waist screams safety. Matsukawa usually hums soft lullabies or songs, and he has an incredible calming voice.

-The first times, Mattsun hadn’t understood how scared Oikawa was, even if he hid it, and used to play pranks on him. Until one night, after a movie about demons, Mattsun jumped out from the closet while the boy changed, wearing a monster mask, and scared him so much he started crying. It broke Matsukawa’s heart and he swore he would never do it again (and he also cuddled him a lot to make up for it).

Hanamaki scolded him either way.

Next day, Oikawa had his revenge by putting salt instead of sugar n Matsukawa’s coffee and everything went back to normal.

-Sometimes, Makki stress-eats sugary treats to chase away the fear and it’s one of the funniest scenes: Wrapped in blankets like a burrito, eyes red and pale skin, cheeks full of ice-cream, box and big spoon pulled to his chest as if they were an anchor.

Oikawa whines to have some too and Makki spoon-feeds him just to have him shut up.

-One time, Iwaizumi literally growled “Alright, you two stop whining. Always fawning over my arms and now you don’t believe I can protect you from a puny assassin? Shut up and sleep. I’m here.” To calm Oikawa and Makki.

His three boyfriends fell in love all over again. The next morning, they teased him mercilessly and he was deeply embarrassed by his cheesiness.

-Halloween Horror Movie Night is Oikawa and Makki’s worst nightmare. However, Matsukawa gets so excited about it they can’t find the heart to crush his plan. He’s a dork.

-Iwaizumi and Matsukawa don’t like when their boyfriends watch horror movies with someone else. That clingy cuteness should be only theirs. They always go grumpy and pouty if they do.

-The most absurd thing is that Oikawa is not scared of alien movies, no matter how bloody and scary they are. His boyfriends still don’t understand how it is possible.