#can't believe I'm back in the writing groove again!
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sinning-23 · 8 months ago
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Bikinis On Top (OPLA Bikini Headcannons)
Seeing their bbygrl in a bikini opla headcannons
THis gets a lil RISQUE soooo 18+
Hey youguys i know its been a while lol I've been s swamped with work and Enjoy this in honor of hot girl summer approaching lmao I promise I'm getting back into eh groove of writing!
alos pls excuse spelling errors yall know me lmao
Luffy
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-It’s hot and his shirts are open 9 times out of 10 so
-He was a bit stunned to see you with one of Nami's bikini tops adorning your chest with a nice pair of jean shorts.
-Boobs boobs boobs boobs boobs
-He's really trying to act normal but you can always tell when those big brown eyes start shifting from your face to your chest. And he always has that goofy grin on his face
-Strongly believe he's the type to impulsively bite them. lmao like literally grab two handfuls and CHOMP.
-He always was more of a boobs guy.
Zoro
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-"Where's the rest of your shirt."
-He’s got his eyes skillfully flickering from your chest to your eyes then to you collar bone and again.
-“You don’t like me showing them off?” You question, slipping past him with a smile
-the funny thing is, you’re not talking about your boobs. You’re talking about the bites and hickeys he skillfully placed along them
-crazy how near the end of the day, the only thing the crew can seem to find as a trace of you is the discarded bikini top
Sanji
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-He helped you tie it this morning when the sun had first been shining to brightly into your room, heating both of you up.
-personally, Sanji likes it when you wear the full piece, the straps of your bottoms just barely peaking out from the low-rise jeans you've got on.
-He also is one to pull your strings when you're also so the top just falls down to reveal the girls
-Is the type to lift you up out of the pool and set you up to sit on the steps like the goddess you are and just admire.
Usopp
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-matching swimsuit set matching swimsuit set matching swimsuit set
-He always likes seeing you in a nice brown or sage green two-piece.
-won't say anything but wow when he sees you and smiles.
-Keep it polite but just know his hugs from behind will always end with him pulling at your bottom straps and letting them snap against your skin.
"USOPP!" You yelp, narrowing your brows at him while you massage the spot.
"Ok ok, i'm sorry mommas" He chuckles, pressing a kiss to the affected area, his large hands massaging the flesh of your thighs.
Nami
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-Strictly a bikini gf and wifebeater+swim trunks gf duo lmao
-This can go either way actually. If she feels like a bikini kinda day it's gonna be a bright orange or a pure white with a sunhat and a nice flowy cover-up
-A she can't and won't make it easy for you to keep your hands off her,
-If YOU are in the bikini and she's in the swim trunks she REFUSES to keep her hands off you. She knows her girl looks good asf.
-Expect to have your ass smacked.
Shanks
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-Is definitely keeping you on his lap while everyone else is splashing around. It was a pretty chill day and everyone decided hey why not go for a swim
"Can I please get in the water Shanks?" You sigh, pulling the strings of his swim trunks as he smiles and gives a quick "Nuh-uh"
-"Your ass looks too good. Just stay here a little longer hm?" he asks, squeezing your thighs, pressing kisses to your shoulder.
-He doesn't waste time taking you somewhere secluded to pull those bottoms to the side, somehow loving the way your ass looks in those bottoms every time he thrusts
Mihawk
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-He personally likes it when you wear one of that cute pinup like 50's monokinis? And some wedges with a bandana. UGH he's gonna be right there with you avoiding the sun under the umbrella (that pale ass skin lmao)
-Will 100% lather you in sunscreen and just paper your shoulder with kisses.
-He's not taking you to eh pool he's taking you to the beach and you're just sitting together, enjoying one another company
-"I'm fucking you within an inch of your life after this." H admits in monotone, skin already starting to darken in a tan
-"Yes splendid." You reply still resting, enjoying the faint heat of the sun.
Buggy
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-HAHAAAAAA this man will tear it off and then feel bad and get you another one...just to tear that off too
-is a sucker for the bikinis with anything on the boobs lmao he thinks they look like targets
-I like to think that ocean water is the only thing like that is an issue lmao so it is safe to say he's in the pool every summer, roughhousing with you and the rest of his crew
-I mean just a bunch of fucking kids lmao, macro polo, chicken fight, pretending to be a shark, you name it
-accidentally caused a nip slip tho and yelled for everyone to look away while shielding his girl.
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jude-duarte-wannabe · 4 months ago
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welcome to the bakery
currently playing; the bakery by melanie martinez "pack it, box it, flip it, top it... the bakery, i'm tryna make some more"
this was inspired by @bunnys-kisses so go check out their page, such incredible stuff <3
when you request, please make sure to let me know if it's from my smut prompts or my soft ones [soft request prompts are still in the works]
hey lovely, how can i help? may i take your order? what do you feel like today? personally i'm in need of some iced tea and all you have to do is pick a dessert, drink and server of your choosing please, please, please don't forget to indicate who you want me to write about!! also please keep in mind that i haven't written anything in a while so it might take a bit for me to back into the groove of it. <3
the bakeries i currently have open are: formula one, resident evil, bridgerton and criminal minds, just for now.[but i am open to any other fandoms you might have in mind! please do not hesitate to ask!!]
the servers i'm currently writing for include; charles leclerc, carlos sainz, lewis hamiltion, pierre gasly, lando norris, max verstappen, oscar piastri, leon kennedy, carlos oliveria, chris redfield, anthony bridgerton, benedict bridgerton, colin bridgerton, spencer reid, aaron hotchner and luke alvez.
i do also accept polyam relationships! [pairing + reader] but only three people just to make it manageable on my end!
all orders can be made to the inbox for @jude-duarte-wannabe and i'll get your order together when i can also let me know if you want your order to...
be extra hot; real smutty or have sweetener; extra fluffy
let me know if want to be added to my taglist by commenting <3 followed by the person.
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the bakery menu;
pound cake; "i can be rough and i don't want to hurt you"
churro's; "does my sweet boy need comforting"
cheese scone; "let your brother find out, i don't fucking care"
mille-feuille; "that's it, shit, such a good fucking girl"
cinnamon buns; "no promises"
gingerbread; "i mean i would totally make out with her/him but like platonically, you know"
baguette; "give me a minute, i really need to tickle the shit out of you"
pretzel; "i was never meant to fall for you"
cornbread; "you taste really good"
strawberry shortcake; "he's so cute, i really want to bite him"
soda bread; "wait a second... am i your lockscreen'
focaccia; "i could beat the shit out of you" "i know"
choux pastry; "i can't believe i ever loved you"
pumpkin muffin; "shut up... my girls asleep"
dinner roll; "holy shit, you still love him/her"
cakepop; "goodnight to my future wife, fuck the rest of you"
pull apart bread; "i love you"
souffle; "i'll be gentle"
powdered doughnuts; "marry me"
s'more; "the accent got to you, didn't it"
waffles; "you spill a single fucking drop and we're starting again"
shortbread biscuits; "if he pisses me off again, i'm fucking his girl"
red velvet cupcake; "does he know that i cum deep inside his little angel'
pancakes; "no, we can't, not here"
coffee cake; "i need to breed you"
french toast; "i don't think it'll fit"
crepes; "go back to sleep, you don't need to be awake for this sweetcheeks"
sweet pastry; "i'm trying to get you pregnant, now shut up and let me concentrate"
butter tart; "stop, don't fake it"
sugar pie; "stop wriggling"
zebra cake; "i'll make it fit"
carrot cake; "dirty girl"
date scone; "i'm going to make you a mama and your going to make me a daddy"
cookie; "do you feel that, how fucking deep i am"
brownie; "no fucking touching"
cheesecake; "don't yell at me"
pumpkin pie; "are you nibbling on me"
chocolate cake; "i'll use protection, i promise"
spice pie; "i wonder if your brother know that i cum inside you"
apple crumble; "i can't do this while you cat/dog is watching"
sausage roll; "i hate being your secret"
blueberry slice; "but what if somebody see's"
mushroom pie; "that looks like it hurt"
apple tart; "what do you mean you want me to choke you"
lemon slice; "i forget how small you are sometimes"
swiss roll; "your glasses are fogging up"
truffle; "send me an audio of you moaning"
oaty slice; "you smell like me"
cream puff; "this ends when your pregnant"
custard slice; "no hiding your face"
victoria sponge; "you wanna hold my hand"
english muffin; "i could die between these legs"
bagel; "where you going, this ain't over"
banana bread; "i can't believe you broke my bed"
hot cross buns; "i'll pay for the damages"
apple turnover; "can you keep it down"
fudge; "what do you mean noise complaint"
peach cake; "i've never done this"
tiramisu; "how could you be so stupid"
crumb cake; "nobody has to know"
custard tart; "you gonna let me cum inside"
date pudding; "your going to let me rawdog you, oh fuck"
mince pie; "so fucking dumb"
angel food cake; "did you just squirt, since when could you do that"
savory scroll; "stop stressing, i'm not going to post it"
chocolate chip cookie; "did you just call me pretty boy"
croissant; "don't you dare"
elcairs; "don't, leave them on"
chocolate mousse; "i'm sorry"
boston cream pie; "fuck it's dripping down your legs"
and to drink;
coffee; somnophilia kink
tea; semi public
juice; breeding kink
mocha; daddy kink
peppermint tea; mommy kink
vodka shot; rough sex
sparkling water; gentle sex
oat milk; one night stand
soy milk; friends with benefits
coconut milk; friends to lovers
almond milk; grumpy x sunshine
energy drink; doggy style
turmeric latte; fake dating
cold brew; possessive
espresso shot; dirty talking
chamomile tea; choking kink
glass of water; aftercare
herbal tea; soft but only for you
milkshake; size kink
pina colada; pregnancy
matcha latte; mixed with smau
cider; body worship
mai tai; loss of virginity
margarita; unprotected sex
chai; biting or hickeys [please let me know which]
earl grey; big cock
tonic water; age gap
soda; protected sex
root beer; caught in the act
americano; oral sex
whiskey; degrading language
vitamin water; dom/sub dynamics
irish coffee; drunk sex
lemon water; secret relationship
dark roast; sub character
hot chocolate; sub reader
iced tea; accentally leaking relationship
flat white; brothers best friend
iced latte; best friends brother
iced mocha latte; plus sized reader
smoothie; belly bulge
doppio coffee; wall sex
green tea; spiting kink
cortado; belly kisses
affogato; a bet
lemon ginger tea; single mom/dad
berry smoothie; accidental pregnancy
sunshine smoothies; fake dating
cappuccino; secret baby
rice milk; baby fever
cashew milk; somebody flirts with your bf/gf
iced chai; forehead kisses
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prollywolly · 6 months ago
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Meeting The Family [S. Gojo]
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summary: part of what lured you into satoru's arms was his wit and his charm. little do you know, he uses the same tricks on your family when he first meets them. and it works.
warnings: just gojo being a charmer.
word count: 1k words
a/n: hihi everyone! so sorry about the inactivity. i've been pretty busy with work, but i'm just now finding my groove of writing again. i've put my miguel o'hara story on hold until i can get my notes together and assemble the first actual chapter. for now, enjoy this jjk brainrot that came to me at work today:) thank you for understanding!
✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:
meeting your family was the next step in yours and satoru's relationship. your family was important to you and he understood that meeting them meant that you trusted him enough to bring your relationship to this level.
the second you rang the doorbell, satoru turned to look down at you. he didn't seem like he was nervous at all, but you knew that internally he was a bit skeptical of what your family would think of him. "oh my goodness! i'm so happy to see you!" your mom welcomed you with open arms, smiling brightly as she embraced you.
"you must be y/n's older sister," satoru smirked, outstretching his hand for her to shake.
your mom's eyes widened and her cheeks flushed with a pink tint. she ran a hand through her hair and giggled at satoru's comment.
oh god, here we go.
"her sister? you're too kind! i'm her mother, it's nice to meet youuu..."
gojo smiled brightly and looked shocked. you stifled your laughter to the best of your ability as you watched your mother fawn over your boyfriend.
"satoru, so nice to finally meet you! i can't believe you're her mother,"
as your mom let the both of you inside, you were met with the rest of your extended family. as your mom introduced satoru to each family member, all of them couldn't help but marvel at the energy he emitted.
not to mention he was twice everyone's height.
as the evening went on, gojo had managed to earn favoritism amongst all of your family members. any playful banter that turned into slight bickering?
how could you talk to him like that, y/n?
he stood up to serve himself the dinner that your mom and grandmother worked so hard on?
how dare you not get up and serve your boyfriend!
satoru was no help at all to the onslaught of criticism you got.
"yeah, y/n. why are you being so mean to me?"
he looked up at you with puppy dog eyes, his bottom lip jutted out into a pout as you rolled your eyes and flicked his forehead.
all of these small comments may sound annoying, but to you? you were elated to see how much your family already liked him. tonight was the greenest of flags for approval and this is all that it meant to you.
✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:
everyone was sat out in the backyard watching gojo fool around with your nieces and nephew. as you sipped on your water, your aunt broke the silence that sat between all of the women at the table.
"he's perfect for you, honey."
"if i was about thirty years younger, i'd definitely steal him from you,"
"grandma!" you exclaimed, all of the women at the table laughing heartily at her outburst.
you turned to look back at your boyfriend, smiling fondly as your two nieces clung to his legs. the smile that rested on his face as he stomped around with the two girls on his legs, desperately trying to chase after your nephew was something out of a movie.
he turned to you. just for a second. and you swore that you fell in love all over again. he tossed a quick wink your way before turning back to the kids, falling softly onto the grass as they all jumped on top of him.
"mina! get off that poor boy!" your aunt shouted at her daughter. "you're gonna hurt him!"
gojo waved off the worry in your aunt with a flick of his hand.
"oh, she's just playing! right, mina?"
the small girl nodded her head with the cutest pout you'd ever seen. gojo scrunched up his nose and laughed as the other two children grabbed his sunglasses and played with his hair.
"you seem like you're so happy with him," it was the most sincere your mom had been all night. "and he's good to you?"
you looked over at satoru and couldn't help the way your heart swelled at how gentle he was being with the kids.
"he gives me the world and more..."
✧・゚: ✧・゚:✧・゚: ✧・゚:
"well it was nice to meet you, satoru! you're welcome back any time!"
gojo's eyes brightened and he gave your mother a charming smile. as your mother opened her arms to hug him goodbye, he stooped down to her height and gave her a small squeeze.
"i'll definitely be back for some more of that banana pudding you made tonight!~"
as your family waved goodbye from behind the door, satoru led you over to his car and opened the passenger side door for you.
your drive back home wasn't too long, but you could tell that he was just waiting to hear about what your family thought of him.
"they loved you 'toru," you chuckled, rubbing his hand with your thumb.
he squeezed your intertwined hand tightly and smacked the steering wheel with his other hand.
"i think they like me more than you, baby."
he took his bottom lip under his teeth and wiggled his eyebrows at you. with a light smack to his bicep he laughed off your slight annoyance.
"i'm never bringing you back ever again," you shook your head and stared out the windshield, watching the headlights of the car bounce back off the garage door of your house.
"that's too bad. i'll just text your mom and ask her when i need to show up!"
his phone illuminated with your mom's phone number, the contact name being 'mother in-law' as some sort of sick joke towards you.
"when did you get my mom's number?!"
gojo smirked and peered over his sunglasses to meet your eyes.
"right after i got your aunt's."
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psychedelic-ink · 7 months ago
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an update
I think this was a post long coming, and I just want to say right off the bat that it's nothing bad, just some life updates I wanted to share with y'all 💕
These past weeks have been tiring, we had overnights for inventory for about two weeks which left me pretty tired and exhausted to do anything else, I also had regular shifts in between which drained the remaining energy I had left.
I still don't have my license (I do have my permit tho!) because I have to buy additional classes but I'm planing on buying them this week so I can get my license as soon as possible.
I have an official-ish move date! thank you to everyone who donated to my kofi and helped me out. I'll be moving in July 9th with a friend from work which is exciting and at the same time slightly nerve wrecking???? I don't know what I'm feeling to be honest, I think I've just been feeling kinda homesick and lost. Even though I always preferred living on my own, I still had the chance to visit my family whenever and I don't really have that chance here-- I mean sure if there's an emergency I can fly over but I can't really just get on a bus and visit them which makes me even more anxious.
BUT I have been happy and will be happier as soon as I move out and get my freedom again (my aunts have placed cameras in the house which I'm hoping they'll remove soon and they only had them because of the trip they went to but it's been four days and the cameras are still there....)
I'm hoping to get back into writing again, I have commissions I'm working on so most free time I have goes to that but believe me when I say I miss writing for myself and you guys SO MUCH. I miss spending time on other hobbies as well and it's been hard getting my groove back but I am trying.
I miss tumblr and you guys and I am so so sorry if it looks like I've been ignoring tags or messages. It's just I'm mentally drained and most of the time wait for a moment I'm not to answer which sometimes take a while.
I love you guys all so so much !
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childotkw · 3 months ago
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I cannot believe it's been a year since the last chapter, time flies so faast!! (You did say update before christmas, you never said which christmas =]]) I can't believe it's been literal years since I've first read the story, it is literally insane. All this just to be dramatic and say I'm rereading it cuz it's too good, your writing style evolved so beautifully over time from gorgeous to drop dead lethal.
I like to imagine the final scene with the boys and Dumbledore, Tom being all ready to monologue his hurts away in front of an audience and having him at his mercy while Hadrian just sees him, sees red and goes "listen here you little bitch, the fuck was your problem" and just straight up goes for the kill, eod. It kills me with amusement, cant wait to see your version.
If you don't mind me asking, you said in an ask at some point, maybe my mind is making it up, that it will take years for Hadrian to use Tom instead of Riddle (more than he's already done it the very few times), would you be able to elaborate as to why? He did have a time, I think, when it looked like it would go there, was all that progress undone by...everything? How does Yom view this? XD thank you, easy writing and easy life!!! <3
I know - I’ve been slacking 😂 it’s just been a big year in terms of my personal life, and now that I have a social life I haven’t had as much energy to write. I should have stayed single 🤣
But also omg thank you so much for your kind words??? CS has such a special place in my heart because, like you said, it’s the clearest evolution of my writing I could ever have. Sometimes I go back and reread certain scenes for context, and I’m still blown away by how much my style has changed over time!
I do love the idea of Riddle being all puffed up ready to talk about his feelings and then Hadrian just comes in like:
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As for the whole “calling Tom by his name” thing - the largest reason it takes years for Hadrian to get into the habit is because during the time skip between Consuming Shadows and Fractured Hearts, Hadrian and Riddle don’t really see each other. The ending of CS will leave them both in…vulnerable places, emotionally and physically, and they will need time to recover as individuals before they come together again.
Unfortunately, that distance will have an impact on their relationship, so even when they meet up again, it will take some time for them to find their groove.
Riddle, for all that he hates his birth name, actually desperately longs to hear Hadrian call him by it. He’s the only person Riddle would allow to do it, and once Hadrian does start using his name regularly, a warm little glow builds in his chest.
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luvvvivii · 1 year ago
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"i love you" — l.fl
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pairing - idol!felix x gn!reader
genre - fluff, imagine
wc - 705
warnings - not proofread (surprise surprise), a bunch of pet names used (my love, angel, dear), lmk if more
a/n - I'm back suckas!!! 😋 enjoy this small felix post whilst I start to get back into the groove of writing (also abt the writing, times next to the date is in readers time zone)
synopsis - in which your idol boyfriend sends you voice notes whilst he's away
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02.16.23 — 1:05 am
"good morning dear. actually, I think it's night for you right now? you better be asleep, alright? haha, it feels odd not being able to speak to each other how we usually would, doesn't it? but I guess this is what idol life is like? *chuckle* anyways, how was your day? did you do anything fun today? I hope you're eating good as well…I might head out for a bit with chan, so I'll talk with you later? sweet dreams angel. I love you!"
02.17.23 — 6:37 pm
"hey yn, you're asleep right? this is usually when you have your evening naps. don't be taking an all nighter again after this, though. I know you really like that show but sleep is important too you know? *chuckle*...today is day one of our concert in melbourne. I'm back in australia after so long, and I'm super excited! it's a shame I can't be here with you right now, but at least I can still update you and stuff. I can't wait to meet even more stays—oh, that's minho calling. sorry yn, got to go. I'll update you all about it after! enjoy the rest of your night, I love you."
02.18.23 — 12:53 pm
"hey dear, have you eaten yet? sorry I couldn't send any voice notes this morning, I woke up late and had to rush. day two of our concert was amazing! oh gosh, I wish you were here. hey, I don't think I told you about the dream I had last night, did I? well, we were just about to head to sydney for our tour there, and then suddenly you gave us a surprise visit! that's pretty much it, I woke up after that. haha, it seemed so real I even looked around for you whilst I was still half awake! *sigh* well, I think I'm going to go to sleep now, sorry for such a boring voice note today. have a good day, I love you angel."
02.20.23 — 3:31 pm
"yn, I'm so tired. but I can't go to sleep. *laugh* I was on my phone and got completely carried away, and now it's two am!...I think I might just start yapping about something with you, like how we always do when neither of us can sleep. that's what always helps me get tired…not that I'm saying you're boring! *chuckle* what I'm trying to say is…I just feel so at ease when I know that you're listening to me talk…let's not get depressed now, haha. how is your day going dear? doing anything fun today? make sure to send pictures, I haven't been able to see your pretty face in a while. you know, I think I might head off now, starting to feel a bit drowsy. we've got day one in sydney tomorrow, so I'll probably talk to you about it all later. goodnight my love, I love you to the moon and back."
02.21.23 — 2:01 am
"yn! it's finally day one in sydney! ah, I really wish you were here right now. you'll be cheering me on from back at home, right? I know you'll be looking for videos after the concert haha. make sure to have fun today angel! and I'll make sure to pour my heart and soul into the performances for you, like I always do. sorry for this voice note being so short, but I've got to go. I love you!"
02.22.23 — 3:19am
"sydney day 2! ah, you really don't understand how overwhelming this experience is, yn. this is absolutely crazy, but I've probably already said this a ton, right? *laugh*...you know, I hope one day we can travel to australia together, and I could show you all my favourite places to go and things to do from when I was a kid. but that's saved for the future! just wait a bit longer, my love, I'll be back home faster than you can believe. and cheer me on today as well, alright! I'll do the same for you dear. I've got to go now, an exciting concert ahead. I love you."
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©@luvvvivii all rights reserved | do not repost or translate
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vitanithepure · 1 year ago
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I'm getting back into the groove with my writing after a short period of totally forgetting how to form coherent words, and my mind instantly went to my BG3 comfort pairing. That being Gale/Astarion, or bloodweave if you prefer, if anyone reading this is new to my tiny space on tumblr.
And I remember seeing people wonder why choose this ship when it's obviously "not gonna work". Usually in unposted anons I got, and usually in a very much more passive-aggressive tone, but whatever. It just got me wondering why do I like them together so much? Because I just saw them and went "yeah, that's it, they fit" without considering why.
Because yeah, I agree, that at first glance it's a weird pair to ship. They have those surface level differences:
streetsmarts vs booksmarts
improviser vs planner
flirty vs seeking connection
indifferent vs caring
(wanted to say extrovert vs introvert but that was just Astarion fooling me, yet again, into believing he really is as outgoing as he leads on. Sneaky vampire.)
But the beauty of BG3 characters lies in their complexity, and in that one doesn't need to dig that deep to find similarities that amazingly make each of them…shippable with each other. The themes they got going on in their personal stories just reflect each other so well done.
So we have those two men, both servants to beings indefinitely more powerful than them. One unwilling, the other quite the opposite, but both deeply mistreated. Both carry their shares of scars, both physical and not.
They both seek power because of this, and no other origin companions share this trait with them. They want it to gain freedom and regain agency in their lives. And this is what I love the most about this pairing - that quest for power can lead to so many different outcomes and I am inspired by all of them. I can't name my favorite, because there is beauty to be found in each. Even if it's fleeting, giving way to tragedy down the line. I enjoy a good dose of that angst as well, not gonna lie.
They can both forgo their quest for power completely, find what they are looking for in each other. Astarion will always be safe with Gale, and Gale will find that lifetime commitment he craves so much with Astarion. And imagine how hard Gale will look for a way for his lover to enjoy the sun again? To what lengths he would go to for this alone? And how Astarion would be not letting his beloved wizard to hurt himself in the process? But at the same time, being right next to him, believing in him? In them?
Or they could go batshit crazy with power and it's fine, too. They become powerful together. True, it requires a bit of headcanoning here, but since when did this stop ships from happening? It also is true that one becomes a monster, the other indifferent with time, but the years they spend together? The wild devotion they will have for each other? The burning passion that you never know if it will consume them or just explode and burn out?
And there are a few dynamics in between! What if Astarion ascends, but Gale doesn't? What if it's the other way around? What if one regrets their decision? And I love exploring this, and I'll always root for the dorky wizard who has so much love to give to this stray vampire spawn that has enough holes in his soul to let it sip in, slowly but steadily.
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ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian · 8 months ago
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I've just re-read my biggest fanfic achievement in English, my DS9 fan novel, and.... it was so fucking good. I thought it was boring and I've gotten much better since then, but it's still gold. It could use a new polish, because in many ways I have gotten better, but it's gold. And it deserves the sequel I've been promising.
I can't believe I wrote this. It's like the story was already alive somewhere and it just used me to be told through. And there's so much more that needs to be said... too bad there's only maybe a dozen people who care xD.
But reading it again (even just a third, the part after the comment I've recently received after a long time of silence) reminded me of the most important reason why I write: I wanna be the one in awe, having fun reading my own stuff some time later. With luck I'll be old one day and I'll have all these memories to go over again. It's like a time machine for your mind.
The Casualty will need an overhaul, and I'm thinking I'll start with that to get back into the DS9 groove... and then I might have enough motivation to start the sequel again. And I think that this time I won't care about anyone saying it's boring. I can't please everyone. I will aim to please myself... and whoever happens to like what I write will be an added bonus.
There will be more Garak this time around - even Garashir, eventually, in hints - but gawd, let me do it my way. Being force-fed Garashir in every fucking DS9 group was exhausting. So I'll stay away from fans for as long as I'm writing. There's waaayyy too much Garashir without me adding to it, so if it's not up to the fan's standards, whatever - I'm writing this for Damar. He's the reason this huge feat of a novel exists in the first place - and he deserves the spotlight, especially since he doesn't have many fans.
Oh well. It makes sense that very few people are burdened with such impeccable taste 😈
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zhiroaesthetics · 6 months ago
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Mid-Summer Writing Updates
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Was told that giving updates about non-major works is also valid to prove that this page is alive so...teehee!
Mental Check
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To say that I've been slacking this year is a grave understatement. It frustrates me because posting in December 2023 (Kaveh) then January 2024 (Haruaki) truly made me believe that I had found my groove, then I saw my stats and gave up, yay! It's just hard writing when I already don't have the healthiest approach towards writing (it's really bad, like I cried so much writing both of those drafts), and that level of effort goes unnoticed by both the audience and myself. But I've slowly been accepting the fact that I can't gain the audience I want if I don't prove that I exist. After all, posting since 2021(?) but not even having ten entries is silly. With that being said, I have been writing consistently over the summer, but have been slowed down because I've been active, like this is the first week that I've been in my room this entire month.
Goals for Pre-Fall 2024
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I'm definitely going to have at least three posts before the end of the year. I always try to have more than the year prior, and considering how little I have to my name, it's been pretty doable.
I've been going back and forth between Bowman (Granblue Fantasy) and Kyo (King of Fighters) for the past two months, and I know for the latter that his second draft is going to be posted before fall, though I'm not sure about the former. My writer's block on his draft isn't the worst despite the fact that I have to rewrite the first half of what I currently have, but I struggle trying to prioritize that draft over Kyo's given that I don't know how well a NSFW Bowman entry would be perceived. Regardless, if I post twice before Late August, expect for it to be these two bums.
Goals for Fall 2024
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This is tricky, as it HIGHLY DEPENDS on what I end up fixating on, but definitely expect Tai Gong Wang (Fate/Grand Order). I've been wanting to write him since the beginning of time, but lack of knowledge on his character thanks to me exclusively playing FGO on the global server and things implied under mental check made it hard for me to prioritize writing the idea that was practically given to me. But what was initially supposed to be a collector's item ended up being NP3 and LVL 100, so I'm taking it as a sign to - at some point - lock in, and I think doing so right after clearing out my current drafts would be perfect timing.
Do, however, look out for these people:
Blade (Honkai: Star Rail)
Diluc (Genshin Impact)
Charlemagne (Fate)
Goals for Winter 2024/5
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Yae Miko. Despite her being a December 2024 goal, she's one of my more ambitious projects due to research and it not being a one chapter entry. Even as I'm currently working on Kyo and Bowman, I'm immersing myself within The Pillow Book, as Sei's story is what most of Yae Miko's story will be in reference to. Also Haruaki, again, hopefully January 1st.
Do, however, look out for these people:
Kaveh (Genshin Impact)
Saichi Sugimoto (Golden Kamuy)
Miscellaneous
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Girl if you saw how far I made it into my Senji draft, when I started, and when I stopped, you'd be wondering why my #1 isn't in any of my defined goals. And I'd say shit happens! Senji's draft had a very extensive outline, and I lost that very extensive outline, so I lost my motivation yay! Nevertheless, I still want to get it out there because I think it's a really funny one chapter entry.
Also Toji. Very much an outlier, but I've been putting him on the backburner because his draft is also one of my more ambitious projects, but one that challenges my writing skills in a duller way because of the amount of mundane scenes present. Also not a one chapter entry.
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Anyways uh, thanks for peeping the yap session, meow!
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sugarwyns · 1 year ago
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Just a fun idea
   If Nova was a romanceable npc in mtas then what dialogues would she have ( like one for each relationship level (Acquaintance, Buddy, Good Friend, romance), you can skip levels or add more lines if you want )
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Introduction:
Hiya! I haven't seen you around yet, so I'm assuming you're new - I'm Nova, one of your fellow builders! Come find me if you need a buddy to go ruin diving with.
Birthday:
My birthday's on Summer 15. When I lived in Seesai, I spent every single birthday at the beach. I can't really do that anymore here, so my new thing is just sitting by the oasis.
Acquaintance:
If you ever need to get ahold of me, ask Kor or Daphne where I am, they'll probably know! Oh, wait, but...what if you don't know where they are...hmm. I'll get back to you on that!
Kor told me you're from Highwind! That's cool, I've always wanted to visit. You think I'd be...blown away?...Sorry, that was bad. Ignore that!
Uh oh! I forgot my pass to the salvage yard expires today...you think Rocky will let me extend it for, like, a discount...?
Buddy:
Moving to Sandrock gave me a bit of culture shock. I do miss Seesai a lot, but I really think I'm better off here than I was there.
There you are! Daphne stopped by earlier to give me a few melons from the Moisture Farm...care to share some with me?
I love collecting minerals and whatnot from the desert, but I am so intimidated by the Boxing Jacks there. Every time I see them coming from the corner of my eye, I can't help but yell!
Good Friend:
My brother lives in Walnut Groove. He's a real successful Builder there. To be honest, I don't care for building that much, but...it's a stable job, at least. Don't know if I'll live up to the expectations he's set, though.
I used to be the apprentice of a well-known Builder in Seesai. She was really kind to me, even when I made mistakes all day. I was so sad when my apprenticeship ended! In fact, she made me my bandana and pickhammer as a parting gift. I try to write to her every few weeks.
I have a really small collection of Old World stories and movies. It gets boring watching and reading the same things over and over again, though, so I hope I'll find more stuff in Sandrock to mix up the collection!
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Romance
Confession Accepted:
Oh? I can't believe it, you beat me to it! Of course I accept.
Confession Rejected:
I'm...really flattered, I promise, but...I'm so sorry, I just don't think we're at that level with each other...
General Lines:
I made you this bracelet the other day. You don't have to wear it, if it's not your style! Buuut...I do have a matching one, sooo...
I've wanted to visit Seesai for a while, but I was always too nervous to go through with it. I think if you're by my side, though, I'll be able to manage.
Hey! What are you doing today? You wanna go eat at the saloon? I'll pay, don't worry!
Honey?...mmm, no. Sweetie? Hmm...Oh! Sorry! Just trying out nicknames for you...baby?
When I first got here, I felt like I had something to prove. I don't even know who I was trying to prove something to! But now that you're here, I feel like the last of that pressure came off of my shoulders.
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Festivals
Day of the Bright Sun:
• I put in a few accessories I made over the last couple of weeks. I hope whichever person ends up with them likes them!
Showdown at High Noon:
Wow, the atmosphere is amazing! Everyone is so amped up for this. I didn't participate in anything like this back in Seesai, so I can't wait to see who comes out on top!
Day of Memories:
This festival has different ways of being celebrated in other cities, but they all have one thing in common - they're all so beautiful.
Tour de Rock:
I'm so bad at sandrunning. Maybe I'll just...watch and cheer everyone on!
Running of the Yakmel:
Can I tell you a little secret? I'm kind of scared of Yakmel! They're cute, but they're huge! I try to avoid the ones around the outskirts of town when I can.
Winter Solstice:
I've been looking forward to eating some skewers all day! What better way to kick off the start of a new year?
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laurfilijames · 4 months ago
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Finally replying back to your reblog😂😂I’ve literally reread it any chance I get!!! I can’t believe you had to use another device🙉 and here I was thinking there wasnt much to it���
Imma skip to the old hag comment: girl when I tell you it took everything in me to keep it classy and only mention them once💀 my petty side was ready to come out and be like “for the people in the back…this is their way of communicating” Everytime they had that silent conversation 😗 And you know I will always get it!!!😌💅🏾
I’m so glad you love my little intro to the podcast🤧 I haven’t decided if I’m gonna change it to fit the fall vibes bc I like the look of the champagne glasses🥹
You did a phenomenal job with keeping it from feeling spiteful!!! You can tell that he’s very confident in our relationship, in us, and himself to the point where it’s like what’s there to be jealous of. He knows that we’ll always come home to him, that our heart belongs to him and vice versa so there’s no need for the green eyed monster to make an appearance🙂‍↔️ And if someone didn’t get that *cough* *cough* you reiterate that thought which I loved a lot😍
Omggg I’ll frame the gold star and hang it on my wall🤩 I was gonna say i put your fic under a microscope but honestly it just comes naturally😂
You did a wonderful job getting the emphasis across!!
Give us all the cheesiness pleaseeeee😩 I appreciate the non-verbal communication so much!!! You can tell that there are times where they feel so much that it’s hard to describe it in words so being able to translate that into other forms of communication is important to them🥹
You including your best friends in your stories is so cuteeee🙉 it was either Bess or Jenny and Jenny sounds a lot nicer😌💗 omg I love that🤣
Again gimme all the cliche☺️ nothing is unrealistic as long as you’re with a person who is interested in keeping the romance alive😌 yesss because no one can tell you how to write your story😤
When I tell you I have not stopped thinking about the dip scene🙉🙉 I joke with my best friend about needing us to go back to Nashville so I can get my line dance on and bump into the love of my life😩 hopefully I can find a man that’s got moves like Will😍
Fucking Will outside was all I could think about 😂 plus he would just look so pretty with his chest heaving, skin flushed in a soft pink hue and a fucked out expression on his face🤭🥵
Now that I’ve found my groove I’m gonna go back to the first four chapters and re-reblog them at some point🤭 honestly you don’t have to thank me!!! You sharing your reactions to my comments is more than enough🥹💗✨ I love you too Laurie☺️🙂‍↔️🌸
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You reread it any chance you get???? 😭😭😭😭 Rayyyyyy I can't even believe this!! And yeah, your prolific comments almost always require me to use a second device to easily keep track of all your notes while I'm replying!! I love it so much and can't thank you enough!!
🤣 I appreciate you being in my corner with all of that nonsense with the anon. There's times I still go over it in my head but it's done and hopefully they have a better understanding to how and why I'm writing this relationship how I am.
I'm a huge Prosecco fan so I'm happy to keep on with the glasses but also happy to change it to a warm cup of something if you'd prefer! 🥂☕️ I'm just so giddy that you treat these comments and discussions like a podcast 🥹💗
Thank you for loving the cheesiness/romantic side of things now that the angst is through! I know people love drama so I've been fretting that they won't enjoy it as much now but I can't keep doing that to them or myself 🤣 WILL NEEDS TO BE HAPPY!!!!
I am obsessed with you going to Nashville and bumping into a strong, kind cowboy while line dancing yessssssssss!!! I'm manifesting this to happen so hard!!! 🤠 (and may he look like Riley Green 🙏🥵)
Anddddd now my mind is buzzing over your description of Will post-fuck outside 🫠🫠🫠 I really need to sneak this in and will try my best to!
You're going to go back and re-reblog the first chapters?!?!? Ray!!! You do not need to do that but I love you so dearly for being this invested in my story that you want to continue to share it 🥹😭💗 I'm seriously going to run out of ways to thank you!
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strawberista · 7 months ago
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{I want to be active this sinday but I cannot believe how insanely busy I've been since Sibling and Spouse have gotten home. I barely have a second to even look at my phone much less post anything. I'm so sorry, y'all. Seems like every time I start working up a groove again I get immediately buried.}
{I partially feel guilty because I don't want to make y'all wait, but more than that I just really want to write and can't without upsetting a bunch of people. Feels bad man. I'll come back when I can. Please feel free to continue to send me stuff even though I can't answer.}
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fantastickkay · 10 months ago
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Album Review of the Week: Nobody's Angel (2000) ☆☆☆☆☆
In 1999, four girls made friends with each other as they continued to run into each other at auditions and decided to band together! This, I have learned from my current magazine journey. I have so enjoyed watching small articles about them pop up from time to time and I cannot wait to get into the year 2000 and see them even more!
In preparation for a review, I usually listen to the album once while doing the write-up. However, I was so looking forward to this one that I listened to it twice yesterday and now again today! Once I get a taste, I cannot stop with this album!
Nobody's Angel is the quintessential y2k bubblegum pop group. If you love the early 2000s you must listen to this album at least once! It is everything that y2k bubblegum should be. Nothing but fun, sparkle and energy. Not to mention the inflatable sofa on the front and back covers! Love the sandals as well.
Buckle up, baby, 'cuz here we go! We start with If You Wanna Dance, their lead and I believe most popular single. It is packed with so much energy that you cannot help to move and bop along. The chorus moves at lightning speed while the verses bring in a more mellow melody leaning almost into an R&B style - just in the vocals of course. The instrumentation remains extremely poppy in the best way.
I Can't Help Myself slows down the tempo but we still have the hard hitting beats behind the gentle guitar and vocals. This song shows off their gorgeous harmonizing.
Boom Boom is a funky track with a chorus with extreme sing-along-ability. I've been singing it the last 2 days! The melody and speed of the lyrics is so much fun to recreate and makes it quite the earworm.
Next Stop Heaven really brings in the groove with an energetic bassline, more harmonizing and another fantastic chorus! Their energy is just infectious.
Keep Me Away is another ballad and as much as I usually dislike ballads, those on this album got me bopping as much as the other tracks! This is one to sing while looking out the window on a rainy day. It is high drama with the heavy strings and pleading vocals.
With Right There Waiting, the instrumentation is a tad trite, but the melody is still really great with that energetic chorus. This is the type of song that would play in a rom-com when the couple are in their honeymoon stage. I can see the woman walk-dancing through the streets to this song!
Ooh La La has the classic answering machine interlude that you will find in many early 2000s pop albums (even Britney's Oops!...I Did It Again!) I know I'm saying the word 'energy' way too much, but every song has it! This song also has a really cool bridge that gives it an edge that some of the other songs don't have. There is also a little chatter part that I love where one of them just shouts 'do the washing machine! and an acappella outro to spice things up a bit.
Things get a bit sexier with Wishing On You. We have sultry vocals and darker instrumentation to illustrate this small pivot.
Absolutely Maybe put me in an absolute tailspin as an 8 year old. The lyrics are totally contradictory! How can you say absolutely maybe, I am sure I really think so although I deserve a week? Jokes aside, the melody is less "energetic" than the preceding tracks but not by much! Rest assured, we have yet another great song on our hands - especially with such clever lyrics.
Sugar Daddy has a funky 70s vibe that will get your head bobbing! Now, get your mind out of the gutter. He is sweet like candy!!!
Nobody is the best midtempo on the album. The solo vocals are pretty weird sounding but the harmonies are fantastic with an infectious melody. This one is sexy without trying too hard like Wishing On You is.
Despite being 12 tracks in, the album is still exciting with Cherry Crush. We're back to the quick as lightning vocal deliveries. This song is the most R&B-like of the bunch, very pop still but has elements of R&B of the time.
This masterpiece of an album closes with a cover of the disco hit, We Are Family, which begins with an interlude of someone flipping through radio stations - very fun and 2000s. The verses are different than the original, spicing it up with a rap-like delivery to bring the song into the modern times. Injecting new energy, some might say!
Obviously, I absolutely love this album and it is one of the essentials of the early 2000s.
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sugarplanet · 2 years ago
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Off the Rails Again: What Happens When You Lose Motivation Over and Over (and What To Do)
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This spring hasn't been the most stable time of year for me. Aside from dealing with my insufferable allergies going into hyperdrive from all the pollen and freshly cut grass outside, I've been working through one depressive streak per month on average. I'll be getting into the groove, all nice and motivated, and then *CRASH.* Suddenly I'm too worn out to move, much less draw comics or update my blog. We all go through burn out or art block (I've even written about art block on this blog before) so I won't give you boring diatribe about staying motivated or how to get back up. Instead, I wanted to talk about the truth of frequent burn out and how you're supposed to carry on when that inevitable crash comes and takes you off road over and over.
For those of us living with ADHD of any severity, you might be pretty familiar with the terms and feelings I've described here already. I'm also sure you know how it feels when you just can't reach that state where you're so absorbed into whatever you're doing, you feel more productive than you've ever been in your life (I'm feeling that right now working on this entry); it's so gratifying when you set out to work and you're really getting into it… it's also really discouraging where you just can't bring yourself to do the same with any other project that may be really important to your job or living situation or worst of all; yourself.  There's a lot I've been meaning to do since the start of this year, on the top of my list was "start winning people over with my amazing portfolio and website." Even if I've made a lot progress in the past year or so, I know it isn't enough because there are so many people out there who've already done just as much and then some. It's very frustrating knowing there's so much untapped potential and that you can ride on the tracks only to fall off. It's disheartening. It's draining. It sucks. And it's not the end of the world. I've learned, many times over, that if you can appreciate the progress you have made, it's a lot easier to make the same or more progress next time when you recover. There's not going to be any "work/life balance!" or "hustle and grind!" or "self-help; be your own guru!" guide out there that's going to work for everyone because many of us (I live in the US for the record) lack the support or room for caring for just ourselves significantly enough where those solutions actually work. Believe me, if exercise and affirmations fixed everything, I'd be making that "work from home and retire early offline" money by now. But I've made it far enough down the line to acknowledge it at least.
For all the progress I haven't made, I've learned to track it, along with tangible and realistic goals and expectations for myself in whatever form that helps to solidify it. I choose note taking apps and organized folders of canvases and pictures to sort my machinations. I do recommend writing things down or organizing it in a way that works for you (scrap booking? Song writing?)  Consider what you want to accomplish and how you're going to do it; have a game plan for when you're working on personal projects, strengthening your portfolio, networking with peers and business partners, or at work and when you're going to be devoting time and energy to each thing.  I know it isn't the case for everyone, but journaling my thoughts or sketching out thumbnails to organize into planned projects on a written schedule helps me stay on the track while I'm working and keeps the track in place should I find myself dipping off to the side. Intention for your work and providing yourself that security for that inevitable fall in the future will help your self-esteem and then with your productivity after. And now, if I can prove that I have practiced some of the stuff I wrote about… Since March, I've managed some thumbnails for several projects where I'm developing artwork for a theoretical RPG about a girl and her parent/guardian (who is a talking magic rabbit) who go on adventures to save the environment, defeat evil monsters and capitalists, and rescue pretty boys from the clutches of darkness.
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The idea is to develop the concept with evolving designs and artwork as an exercise in building an idea from the ground up. I've also got a children's book style set of illustrations narrating a silly story about my dog, based on his webcomic series.
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I'm lucky enough to be able to fill a portfolio with things that can not only prove my talent but that I actually really care about and find engaging to produce. I'm really looking forward to seeing where these projects take me and I'm living off that anticipation for what it'll look like when it's all finished… As artists, there's a lot at stake when we're producing out of passion while doing it for money simultaneously; namely the will to keep doing it. That will is going to wear out eventually no matter what because you can't exist and just not get tired. But if you there's anything to take from this article, it's that you should be okay with falling off, even if you have to reset your cart. Apologies for the faulty analogy throughline.  
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ivarlover · 2 years ago
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UNEXPECTED
Part 3.5
(Flashback #2, last flashback)
Part 3 (sequel #3 to UNLEASHED and UNDENIABLE)
Alex + Modern Ivar
Modern Ivar + Katia
Mentions of Female Reader + Hvitserk
If you're new here and want to catch up, just scroll down my page, and the first chapter to UNLEASHED is at the bottom, then UNDENIABLE, and now, UNEXPECTED...
NSFW 18+ ONLY
This was supposed to be just a one-shot, but the story has come alive, and the need to write more can't be ignored. At this point, I have no idea how many chapters this will end up consiating of. Hope you enjoy reading it as much as I've enjoyed writing it! 🔥
Summary: During a hot weekend with your classmate, Alex, and his best friend, Ivar, the two of them had their own fun together. And now, it had turned into an entire relationship between the two of them that neither of them had seen coming. Now, that reality had set in, they navigate the relationship and all that comes along with it, the good, the bad, and the unexpected. Now that they were just getting into the swing of things and finding their groove, Ivar's ex fiance comes back into the picture, and it seems she is sure to shake things up.
Warnings, The sequel in general: Totally NSFW, Unprotected anal sex (male receiving), oral, male to male contact and more, a bad case of the feels, and smut, with me, there is ALWAYS smut. 🤣 Each chapter will have its own warnings.
This chapter: This chapter is a flashback to better explain the current situation. Heartbreak, major case of the feels, not a good Katia, a pissed off Hvitserk, and Ivar beside himself
Please leave a comment and let me know what you think!
Words: I don't know; there are many, many words 🤣
Let me know if you want on or off the tag list!
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When they returned, they shared their news with everyone, and Aslaug threw them a surprise engagement party at Ivar and Alex's club, with Alex's help, of course. All had gone well, and it seemed everyone was happy for them. Well, everyone except maybe Hvitserk.
"What do you mean, Hvitserk doesn't like you? He's always seemed to really like that I've finally settled down with a good woman," Ivar asked Katia, completely taken back by her assumption.
"Well, it's just something he said to me in passing. It was probably nothing. Don't worry," she replied, dropping her head.
Placing his hand under her chin, Ivar pulled her head up for her eyes to reach his. "What did he say, Katia?"
"It's nothing, really, Ivar. I shouldn't have said anything. Forget about it." She pulled away from and turned around.
"It's obviously not nothing. Now, for the last time, what did my fucking brother say to you?" Ivar was beginning to get annoyed. Why would Hvitserk have said something to her?
"Well, umm, he just said something about how he knew women that would do anything he asked and that I'd better not hurt you and umm, I'd better hope I wasn't with you just for the money or he'd," her voice cracked and Ivar turned her around to face him again. She was looking at her feet nervously.
"Or he'd what, Katia? I'm going to kick his ass! What the fuck! Did he threaten you?"
"Umm, I don't want to cause problems, Ivar. Just forget it," she pouted, glimpsing up at him when he didn't see.
He pulled her close and made her look at him, "Now. Or he'd what?"
"Umm, he said I better hope I wasn't with you just for the money or he'd call one of the girls he knows for a favor, and they'd be sure I regretted it."
"What the fuck!" Ivar saw red. "I swear, he is mine. What a dick! I can't believe he said that to you! You don't worry. I'll take care of him." He was raging inside as he hugged her. She smiled slyly but he didn't see.
"No, Ivar. Promise me you won't say or do anything. I don't want to be the reason you have any problems with your brother. Please, let's just forget it," she hugged him tighter. "Please, Ivar."
"Katia, I've nearly killed men for less. How dare he suggest such bullshit! I know your intentions with me. Why is it so hard for him to believe you could just simply love me? He needs a good ass whooping!"
Katia felt bad. She really didn't want to cause problems with them, but she also worried about Hvitserk getting into Ivar's head. She didn't need Ivar to doubt her. Wasn't it best not to be too close to him for a bit until she gained his trust, too? She was divided. "Ivar, please. I don't need him to hate me even more or not trust me at all. Can't we just take some space and time from him and let him see for himself how much I love you? I understand where he's coming from. He's just trying to protect and look out for his little brother, Ivar, " she pleaded, hoping he'd listen. She hugged him tighter and rested her head on his shoulder.
"Damn it, Katia. Fine. We'll just stay away for a while. I can do that. And you're right. He's always been protective of me. Maybe if he can see us out and see for himself, but Katia, I will say something to him about not talking to you like that again. Ever. If he has a problem with you, he can address it with me! Anyway, we're going to be too busy planning the wedding, oh, and having sex. That's definitely going to keep us busy," he grinned, pulling her toward the bedroom.
"Making love, Ivar.'
"Oh. Right. Sorry. We're going to be busy making love," he licked his lips as he pulled her into the bedroom and closed the door.
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The last six months flew by. There was only a week left before the wedding. Tomorrow night was going to be their Bachelor and Bachelorette parties. As they lay in bed, his head on her chest, they discussed some of the final touches for everything. Ivar squeezed Katia and said, "I can't believe this is really happening. The woman I love is going to finally take my name in a week, and you're going to give me so many babies!" He turned and kissed her chest.
"Umm, Ivar?"
His heart stopped, "You do want babies, don't you, Katia?"
"Oh yes, of course, I do," she answered, "It's just that I don't know, I don't really know anything about my heritage, Ivar. I've been here longer than I was ever in Russia. Well, at least more than I can remember from there."
"Well, I told you, we can visit there as much as you'd like. I understand you want to know where you came from," he looked up at her as worry stretched across his face.
"Well, I kind of feel like I need to live there or something, Ivar. When we have kids, I want to be able to tell them about my traditions and customs and culture, too, and not only yours. Ya know, those are things you can't truly understand from just the internet."
"What? What, umm," Ivar panicked, "What are you saying, exactly, Katia? You've always said how thankful you were to have my family because you don't have family back there. So what? You want us to move to Russia now?" He was really confused and wondered why this was the first time she'd ever even mentioned anything about caring about anything to do with Russia.
"No, it's just a thought, Ivar. Don't worry. I shouldn't have said anything. I can always go visit just like you said." She kissed his forehead. "Lose that worried look. It's ok. I basically just want to be sure our children have a representation of my culture as well as yours, that's all. I know how strong your mom can be with her beliefs," Ivar gave her a questioning look. She quickly added, "And I admire that about her and want to be the same way, but you know, I have to know them myself first."
"So? What does this mean, then, Katia?"
"It just means you better not give me a hard time when I want to go on a trip to Russia," she smiled.
"You're sure that's all?" Ivar couldn't ignore the knot he now had in his stomach.
"Yes, I promise. I'm sorry I made you worry. I love you."
She leaned up and gave Ivar a quick kiss, trying to reassure him. He let it go but he knew that entire conversation was going to be in the back of his head for a fat minute. How could he make sure she got what she wanted but was still happy with him?
He laid his head back down on her chest and tried to push everything out of his head so he could finally get some much needed sleep. Planning a wedding, as he'd just learned, was a job. Still feeling worried, he finally dozed off to sleep, tossing and turning most of the night.
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"Ok. I'll see you back here, what? 3-4 am?" Ivar said to Katia as he headed to the door to meet his brothers and friends for his Bachelor Party.
"Umm, yeah, well, umm, do you think you'll actually be home that early Ivar?" Katia smiled and winked at him.
"Of course I will. I know you'll be here for me. I already miss you." He kissed her as he wrapped his arms tightly around her. As he pulled away, he said, "Ok, ok. I need to stop or I'm not ever actually going to leave. Just call or text me if you'll be later so I don't worry, ok?"
"Ok," she answered.
As he got to the door, he turned back to gaze at her. "I love you, Ivar," she blew him a kiss, and he left.
A while later, Ivar was on the dance floor dancing his night away when Ubbe came to him. "Ivar, hey, we need to talk. Come to the back so you can hear me." He pulled Ivar through the group of strippers someone had called for the night and that he'd been dancing in the middle of.
Ivar arrived at the venue for his party, where he was given beer before he was even completely inside. He couldn't get quite comfortable, though. Katia's last words to him, even though she'd said she loved him, made him a little uneasy. He wasn't sure why. He pushed it to the back of his mind and tried having a good time.
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"What is it that you must ruin my fun, Ubbe? You don't have to worry. I wasn't going to do anything stupid," Ivar said to his older brother, annoyance thickly in his voice.
Waiting for them in the back of the club was Hvitserk, who had the look of murder on his face. Ivar instantly felt worried. "Ivar, it's Katia," Ubbe told him.
Ivar's heart stopped, "What? Katia? What the fuck happened? Is she ok?"
Ubbe began, "Well, I don't exactly know. Torvi just called me. She said Katia never showed up for her Bachelorette party. She was hoping she was here with you."
"Wha, what the fuck? And she's just now calling you? Did she call Katia?"
"Ivar, she said she just thought Katia was coming late because she'd started the evening with you. When she finally called her, it went straight to voice-mail so she called me."
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Ivar quickly pulled his phone out of his pocket and dialed Katia's number. His face went pale as he looked up at Ubbe and Hvitserk. "She, umm, her fucking number is disconnected." He swallowed thickly and ran his hand through his hair.
"Check her social media accounts. Quickly," Hvitserk instructed him.
Ivar held his phone up to show his brothers. "Page Not Found," displayed across one page and, "Instagram User," on the other. The more accounts he checked, the more deactivated or deleted accounts he found, even including her email.
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"Holy shit! What the fuck, man! What do I do? What the hell happened?" Ivar's voice began to quiver as sweat began to form on his forehead. "Did she fucking leave me? Oh fuck!" He fell backwards, luckily into a chair.
Ubbe quickly came to his side. "Ok, do you want to go back to your place, man? Maybe she's there. I can drive you."
"Umm, I, uh. I-I don't know," Ivar answered, in shock, all the alcohol he'd been drinking, not helping. "Umm, Ubbe? Uh, wha, what should I do?"
Hvitserk answered Ivar, "Hey, man, let Ubbe drive you home. You guys check there. See if she left a note if she's not home. I'll go back to Ubbe's place and get my computer to see what I can possibly track down, and I'll meet you guys at your place. Don't worry yet, man. We don't know anything yet."
Ivar dropped his head to his hands, still stunned and not fully wrapping his mind around everything. What had he missed? Where had she gone? Why was this happening? What had he done wrong? He had so many questions and no answers. It was maddening.
"Ivar? Hey? You ok? Did you hear Hvitserk?" Ubbe asked, trying not to show just how concerned he was.
"What?" Ivar looked up at Ubbe in a daze. "Oh, umm, yeah, I heard him. I, umm, I don't know. Yeah, umm, I guess, let's go? What about the party?" Ivar stood up.
"I'll talk to Alex and see if he can end the party for us. I'll help him if he needs me to. You two go on to your place and I'll meet you guys there shortly," Hvitserk answered, rushing them towards the door.
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Ubbe unlocked Ivar's house door and waited for him to go inside first. "Katia? Hey, Katia, are you here?" Ivar called out, hopefully. There was no answer. He looked back at Ubbe, trying his best to hide his emotions that were all over the place at the moment. "She's gone. It's over, Ubbe," he stumbled to the sofa and practically fell onto it.
"Wait here, and I'll check the other rooms for you, Ivar."
Ivar sat there in a daze. He had no idea what he'd done wrong. He only wanted to give her the world.
Ubbe came back through, "Ivar, umm, her clothes are gone from the closet. All her belongings are gone from any room that had anything of hers. There's no trace, whatsoever, that a female ever even lived here at all. Man, I'm so sorry." He looked at Ivar, who was rolling something around in his hands. "What you got there?"
Not looking up at Ubbe, he gave him a cell phone and a piece of paper. "That's her fucking phone. She smashed it," Ivar's voice cracked, still not looking up at his brother.
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Ubbe opened the paper. It was a note from Katia.
"Dearest Ivar,
I'm so sorry. I know you deserve way better than this. I need you to know that I do love you. I've never lied about that. But I can't marry you, not now, not like this. I can't just always have everything your mother's way. If we ever had kids, I need to raise them as my own woman and I can't do that this way. I need to find me, who I really am. I hope you can understand. I am truly sorry. I know you'll be ok, though. I love you, Ivar.
Always, Katia"
"What the fuck! Are you serious? She ended your relationship in a fucking note? Ivar. Damn. I'm so sorry." Ivar still never looked at him. Ubbe stepped closer to him, still sitting on the sofa, now with his head in his hands. "Look, man, you're going to be ok. I promise."
Ivar held his hand out to Ubbe and, to Ubbe's surprise, gave him a ring. Ubbe instantly recognized it as Katia's engagement ring. "Aww, hell." Placing his arm around Ivar's shoulders, he sat down beside him.
At that very moment, Hvitserk busted through the door. "Man, cancel your cards, Ivar. Immediately."
Ivar finally looked up, wiping away the single tear that rolled down his cheek. "What? Why?"
"Man, I'm sorry but this bitch wiped your credit card clean. She got a cash advance of the max amount possible and not just that, she took money from your damn bank account, too! Not all of it but a damn huge chunk! Let's just say, she's lucky as hell that she isn't a dude! I'd kick her ass myself!"
Ivar's mouth dropped. He wasn't even able to say anything to Hvitserk about calling her such a name. He normally would never stand for that. "Wha, she did what? Are you sure? How? The banks are closed."
"Man, you know Betty at the bank. Katia called her and she met her there. I'm guessing you introduced them and gave Betty the ok to do such things. Betty was scared shitless when I told her you didn't know."
"Fuck!" Ivar dropped his head as Hvitserk continued. He should have listened to Hvitserk's warnings, but no, he'd pushed him away. How could he have been so blind?
Ubbe just sat in silence, completely stunned, as Hvitserk told them, "And I know where she's going. She is about to board a plane to Russia. I don't know what the fuck for. Didn't she always say she didn't know anyone there? But if you guys hurry, we can probably get there before the plane leaves."
Ubbe asked, "How the hell do you know all that so quickly if she didn't use cards but only cash?"
"Man, wrong time to doubt my skills. Hurry. Let's go," Hvitserk responded, closing his laptop and walking toward Ivar.
"What for? She doesn't want me," Ivar mumbled into his hands.
Annoyed, Hvitserk answered, "Not to chase her down for you, Ivar. To get your damn money back! I knew something like this was going to happen! And it's not right."
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Ivar stood up. "Umm, I umm, I need some fresh air. Give me, umm, a few minutes outside alone, ok?" He went to the door, stopping beside Hvitserk on his way out. "I'm so sorry that I pushed you away, Hvitserk. I should have listened to you. I hope, on day, you can, forgive me," and he went out, slamming the door shut behind him.
"You think maybe you could have broken that to him a little softer, Hvitserk? That was a lot to take in all at once. I'm even shocked, and I don't even love her."
"No way. It's best to do all the breaking at once. Rip that damn bandaid off all at one time. And anyway," Hvitserk began throwing his hands up, "She needs a long walk off a short cliff!"
"HVITSERK LOTHBROK!" Ubbe yelled at him.
Hvitserk just shrugged his shoulders, "What? You know you were thinking the same thing!"
"That's beside the point."
"Well, let's go before this bitch gets away," Hvitserk rushed him out the door to get Ivar.
"Wait! Where is he? Ivar?" Ubbe turned all around, looking for Ivar in the dark night.
They both searched for Ivar, but he was nowhere to be found. "What the fuck! Call him!" Hvitserk panicked to Ubbe.
Ubbe's face was pale. "Man, he turned his damn phone off. Can you trace him?"
They went back inside, and Hvitserk went to work. His hacking skills had become very useful today. "Shit! The last signal I have is here on the street, and that was over thirty minutes ago. He could have gone anywhere."
"I'll call Alex and a few of the guys and see if they've heard anything from him," Ubbe said.
"I'll see if I can locate him any other way."
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"Yes, of course. If I hear anything, I'll call one of you immediately. And please do the same," Alex hung up the phone with Ubbe. He was really heartbroken for his best friend. How had Ivar went from celebrating what was the happiest time of his life to suddenly being dumped on his ass and now missing? He tried calling him, but the phone went to his voice-mail.
As Alex went to sit down in the living room, his doorbell rang. Could he be that lucky?
When he opened the door, there stood Ivar, soaking wet in the rain, holding a half drunken bottle of tequila. He couldn't tell, for sure, if that was tears or rain rolling down Ivar's face, but he had a pretty good idea. "Oh, Ivar! Thank God you're ok! Get in here out of the rain."
"She left me, man. It's over. I fucked up somewhere. She's gone," Ivar stood frozen in his spot. "It's over."
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Alex urged him to come inside and have a seat. "Damn, man, did you drink all of that tequila by yourself?"
"Uh, umm," he looked down at his hand as he stumbled through the door, "Yeah, and I finished the other bottle already." He dropped onto Alex's sofa.
Alex called Ubbe back and let them know Ivar was there safely and had apparently called his driver, Mike, from his place to town and walked to Alex's in the rain from town, which was a long walk.
"I, ju..umm, I needed some air and some room to think. I didn't want my brothers to see my like this. I'm, umm, I'm sorry, Alex, I'm in a bad way. I'm a fucking mess," Ivar slurred his words.
As Alex sat down beside him and began to try to comfort him, Ivar turned around to him and just dropped his head to Alex's shoulders and began to softly cry. Alex's eyes widened. He was uncertain of what to do. However, as he looked down at Ivar, he knew exactly what he needed and he wrapped his arms around him tightly and hugged him.
"Shhh, shhh. It's ok. Let it out, Ivar. You're safe here. Let it out."
"What, umm," Ivar said between sniffles, "What am I going to do?"
"Well, for starters, you need to get out of these wet clothes. I have some in my room you can wear. And umm, can't Hvitserk find where she went or where she's headed?"
Ivar sat with Alex, trying to calm himself, appreciating the support from his best friend. He finally answered, "Hvitserk already knows where she's going. She's going to Russia. She hates me so damn much, she's leaving the entire country, man."
"Well, are you not going there, too? So you can at least talk to her?" Alex was surprised. They'd seemed so happy.
"No. Hvitserk wanted," Ivar's voice was shaky and his words were still slurred, "To cut her off at the airport but why am I going to chase someone who went to such great links to leave me? I don't fucking care. And she can keep the damn money. Will you tell Hvitserk that for me? I don't fucking care about the money."
Alex was taken back. Katia took Ivar's money? Wow, seemed like they'd all been played a fool by her. He rubbed Ivar's back as he continued to sob into his shoulder. At least Ivar knew he could count on Alex, but that didn't make Alex feel any better.
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Once Ivar finally calmed down and puked a few times because of drinking so much tequila, Alex brought him clothes to change into, and a blanket, and Ivar fell asleep on the sofa.
This night had not ended as Alex had thought.
@istorkyou @chapada010101010 @vero-maris-zamo @lostasalice-thisway @ivarhoegh @lonewolf471 @covidinducedsocialreject @tessakate
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thewardenofwinter · 1 year ago
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Hi Morana!
How are you doing? How is the writing going, what are you up to?
Greetings Sam, thank you so much for this ask! I've been meaning to do a little update for a while and this gives me a perfect excuse lol
On life (tw for mentions of illness):
It's still very hectic at the moment which hasn't really allowed me time to pursue any creative avenues. I've been fighting off various illnesses since my younger brother started school because my immune system isn't used to all the germs he's around, including covid and strep, and on top of that there was a West Nile Virus outbreak in my state which my mom ended up catching and had to be hospitalized for a few days but she's doing a lot better now. We still have not found a place to live yet, but we managed to finagle two more months from our landlords to find a place since moving during the summer is damn near impossible when they rack up the prices and everything is being taken. There's also a lot going on in my more personal life that's left me quite stressed and lethargic. A little bright side though is that we also found two itty bitty stray kittens under a house and I had to take care of them for almost 2 weeks, but they ended up getting adopted which is great! They were both very cute gray tabbies like their mom, and they were technically my other cat Ivan's half-siblings. I've also got a queens of the stone age and hozier concert coming up soon which i am SO hyped for, my entire life has been In Times New Roman and Unreal Unearth for the past weeks.
On writing:
In the past few days, I've finally found some peace to write and draw some. I've been mainly focusing on The Resurrectioners and trying to get at least 50k words by the end of October. I've also been outlining The Stray Girls and trying to work on a cover in Photoshop (which i got recently totally legally, but i usually just use Clip Studio). I've sort of put What We Undertake on the backburner for now, it's not that i don't want to work on it or am burnt out, it's just that I'm not nearly as passionate about furthering the plot like I am with The Resurrectioners. I've sort of fallen into a hole of mythology and folktales about necromancy trying to learn more about the history behind its representation.
I've also gotten back into drawing now that I've actually had time to do so lol. Here’s some drawings I’ve gotten done recently!
(in order from left to right: Nazriya from The Resurrectioners, Circe from Give No Quarter, A quick sketch of Zekiah from The Resurrectioners, and a face study of Charlie Hunnam)
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I've also put off studying Russian for a month or so and am trying to get back into my one-hour-a-day studying routine I had previously which is taking a toll on me to be honest lol. I bought the Curse of the Pharaohs DLC for AC Origins and I've also started to play Assassins Creed: Liberation for the first time and so far I'm loving both. I can't believe some people say it's the worst installment. I'm working on Aveline fanart as we speak.
But yeah! There's a little update, I'm going to be posting some of my writing soon/doing a few tag games to get back into the groove of things so watch out for those. Thanks again Sam for checking up on me and sending the ask!
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