#can’t keep their designs consistent but in my defense their first ones suck

[acrobattack]

oc dump

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - No Time Like the Past

While I wouldn’t call this the worst episode of the series, there are several others I dislike more, I would call this the most ill conceived story in the show. 

All the other bad episodes have potential but are let down by poor presentation, boring predictability, or sloppy planning. This one however, is fundamentally flawed in it’s very basic premise and so ranks in the bottom of most fans lists. Even people who are far more forgiving of season three and than I am, and are hardcore New Dream stans, still dislike this episode. That’s how bad it is. 

Summary: Rapunzel discovers Old Lady Crowley tossing out Cassandra's things. She is upset and demands that they be left alone. She then has Lance and Eugene help her save all of Cassandra's mementos and personal belongings, but she becomes saddened when Eugene reminds her that Cassandra turned her back on "her". Rapunzel takes a box of her things along with, unknowingly, a mysterious hourglass. As she examines it, she accidentally drops and smashes it and she and Pascal find themselves sent back into the past. They run into a teenage Eugene and Lance who keep calling Rapunzel "Sideburns". Rapunzel realizes that she and Pascal have inhabited the bodies of the Stabbington Brothers and decide to recruit the young thieves in getting the hourglass from the castle back.

Fun Fact! That Dummy is Rapunzel’s Doing 

Minor nitpick here, but Cass had nothing to do with putting Eugene’s face on her sparring dummy. Rapunzel voluntarily did that back in Under Raps. Cas never requested it nor even expressed any joy over receiving said ‘gift’. 

Basically the show is attributing one of Rapunzel’s mistakes/flaws to Cassandra in order to introduce a very nonsensical plot point later. So I need ya’ll to keep that in mind as we go along.  

Lets Talk About the Episode’s Ordering 

We don't have production codes for season three like we did for the previous two seasons. So we can’t know for sure what order everything was originally planned in, but I would argue that this episode should have came before Return of the King. 

For starters this is a “bottle” episode; it takes place mostly in the past and the only present day characters who show up are Eugene, Raps, Lance, and Crowely. As such you could potentially slot this episode in anywhere before Cassandra’s Revenge. You can’t really do that with most of the other episodes so it could have been easily moved around when airing. 

Therefore, I would argue that it should have been the first episode after Rapunzel’s Return for three key reasons. 

It would have given Edmund time to travel to Corona and give Raps time to start up big building projects like fixing Old Corona. In fact she’s already approving building plans for the capitol city at the start of the episode. Which could even explain why she took so long getting to the castle repairs if she was taking care of the stuff that the Saporians messed up else where.  

Rapunzel’s stance over wanting to keep Cassandra’s things makes more sense early on, both in universe and in a meta context. Raps would still have hope if Cass has only been gone for a month or two instead what would now be four or five months down the line. It also makes sense that Crowely wouldn’t wait around for that long. And from a meta standpoint, the audience would still be oblivious to what the heck Cass was up to and could theoretically side with Raps better; or at least empathize with her view point more, even while disagreeing with her. 

Events in this episode better explains Eugene’s decisions in Return of the King and gives the audience more context for certain stuff.  

So Why Is There a Random Magical Time Traveling Hourglass in the Storage Vault?

Slowly but surely the series has abandoned all pretense that there’s any logical world building in the show. Magical things just appear randomly now without any explanation whatsoever. Worse than that, things like the hourglass and map to the cursed tomb are treated as if they were always there, unlike the magical beings that they happened to run into in past seasons. 

The problem with this is a lack of consistency. You can’t have sceptics like Eugene and Varian if magic is so common and wide spread that anyone can run into it at anytime. Not to mention it diminishes the specialness and importance of the sundrop and moonstone if powerful magical items can be so easily found and stirred, undermining important plot points and the tension surrounding them. 

But most frustrating of all, is that this could have been easily fixed by just stating on screen at some point that magic attracts other magic. Meaning it’s only Rapunzel herself who routinely runs into these things and not just everybody and anybody. 

None of This Stuff Holds Any Meaning

Show don’t tell!

At several points through out season three, both Raps and Cass morn over Cassandra’s left behind things. They tell us constantly that these objects hold significant meaning to them, but I, the viewer, have no damn clue as to why. 

We were never shown on screen what was so special about these things other than the fact that it was junk Cass collected. There’s no story attacked to these assortment of objects nor any previous indication that Cassandra valued them beyond their usefulness. As such, any scenes involving her stuff fall emotionally flat. 

Eugene is the One in the Right Here. 

Eugene’s right. 

Any well adjust and mature adult will tell you he’s right. 

If someone doesn’t want a relationship with you, than that’s it. There is nothing you can do but to move on. It sucks, but its life. To ignore that is to ignore someone else’s boundaries and personal autonomy; while also devaluing yourself and you’re own needs. 

In a competent show this would be a set up for Rapunzel to learn something about letting go and taking care of oneself emotionally. 

But this isn’t a competent show. 

But Lobster is for Poor Folk

Food history time!

Lobster, and shellfish in general, have been considered low class food for centuries. Especially around costal areas like Corona. It’s easy to attain, cheap, and not regulated like hunting was in much of Europe. In America, specifically, lobster was fed to prisoners and there’s historical accounts of riots being started over it.  

Heck, less than forty years ago, no one lived on the coast but poor people. That’s why there’s historical communities of black people living on the southeastern islands in the US and why my father grew up in the swamps of Alabama during the 50s and 60s. 

The gentrification of coastal property and seafood, like lobster, is a very recent phenomenon in human history, starting in the late 70s early 80s with the booming tourism industry and increasing globalization.   

So while I understand that the joke here is meant to be reflective of our current understanding of lobster being a status symbol, in universe, it’s the equivalent of Eugene getting excited for chicken nuggets instead of his usual bowl of cereal because the story takes place before the 20th century.  

This means that these kids are so poor that fucking mcdonald’s fast food would be considered a rare treat compared to the slop they usually eat. Yet again what is meant to be a lighthearted joke turns suddenly dark when you stop to think about it for all of two seconds all because the writers are so flippant about their world and characters. 

This Wasn’t Planned Out, So the Timeline Doesn’t Add Up Anymore and Resources are Wasted

Remember the flashback in The Return of Strongbow?

Now I need you to remember that season three is two years later from season one and the movie. Eight years ago then, would be ten years ago now. 

The Eugene and Lance in the bottom picture is suppose to be roughly the same age as the Eugene and Lance in the top picture; give or take a few months. 

I know teenage boys can grow fast, but not that fast. 

Eugene at 16 looks the same as he does at 26. All because the writers were too lazy to preplan things out ahead of time. 

We should have seen the teen models with recasted voices back during that first flashback if they were going to tell this story later. Or the previous plot point should have been less than eight years ago. 

In fact the first flashback no longer makes any sense being so many years ago given Eugene’s engagement and recent breakup with Stalyan, and the later reveal that he was working for the Baron during the original movie. 

Sloppy planning like this not only makes for a confusing timeline but it also wastes limited resources. I like the new models, I like the actors cast for these younger roles, and I do like the concept of seeing more of Eugene’s past. But going through all of that trouble and money for what amounts to one throw away episode is mismanagement of the budget and work schedule.  

Baby Varian Is the Episode’s Only Saving Grace 

I know people are divided on the deign here. Some love it and some hate it, but that’s a personal taste thing. The actual scene itself is golden either way, because it’s such a funny eater egg. Fans on both sides made memes out of this for days. It’s legendary. 

Personally I’m more in the ‘love it’ camp, though I can see the issues people have with the design. My main defense of it is more the fact that we got kid designs for the other OCs in the show and it’s only fair Varian got one as well. The fact that he’s in smaller versions of the S1 clothes doesn’t bother me anymore than when Lance ran around for two seasons in the same outfit, including when he was a kid. 

So if I like it, then why am I talking about it a salt review? 

Cause the most memorable part of an episode shouldn’t be a throw away gag! 

People bring up baby Varian way more than they do about anything else in the episode, and no it’s not just because the character popular. It’s because most would like to forget what comes after this scene. 

Where is Quirin, by the Way?

Why is your six year old son running around the big city unsupervised?

This wouldn’t get talk about as much it wasn’t for the fact that Quirin being neglectful in season one was a motivating factor in his conflict with Varian. A conflict that was suppose to be resolved back in Rapunzel’s Return but we the audience have yet to visually see any difference in behavior since then.  

Quirin’s absence here in the past highlights his absence in the present day and reminds the audience aware that we’ve not been given a satisfying conclusion to one of the most important arcs in the series.  

Lets Talk About Wasted Potential 

Like I said, I like the idea of exploring Eugene’s past. But we should have gotten that back in season two when it was more relevant. Part of why this episode fails is because Eugene has reached the end of his original character development. He’s now on an identity crisis arc which has nothing to do with this episode.  

But you know who still hasn’t finished developing? Rapunzel. 

Rapunzel has lots to still learn and viewing her past through outside eyes could have turned this story into something really special. Especially with the ‘inhabiting another body’ plot point. 

You have no end of options here, 

Have Raps inhabit Cassandra’s body for a day and gain insight into what motivates her. It could have been either before or after they met, both offers up possibilities. 

Have Raps inhabit Eugene’s body and experience what he had to deal with growing up and come to see his point of view. (This could have also worked with the Sabbingtons set up had the writers not been stupid.) 

And my personal favorite, send her back to right after Queen for a Day and have her stuck in either Varian’s or Ruddiger’s bodies. Force her to see what she did to him and have her acknowledge she was wrong. 

And those are just the most obvious choices, there’s other more out of left field things you can do that would still work with good writing. Like exploring Lady Caine’s past, inhabiting Arianna’s body and learning how to be a real queen, get dumped into actual young Gothel and lay out clues to the future Zhan Tiri plot, or possess one of the Brotherhood and experience the final days of the Dark Kingdom; the list just goes on and on and on. 

But I Thought You Didn’t Put Kids in Jail Frederic?

Remember that Raps and Pascal are possessing the Stabbingtons who are still teenagers here. They can’t be much older than Varian. 

This means that Varian isn’t some special case. Teens have received harsh and deadly punishments in the past for non-violent crimes like theft. 

Also teens are called kids still by the majority of the cast. They’re aren’t considered adults with the same rights as someone in say their twenties, yet they can be punished the same as an adult would. Which is horrendous in any time period. 

So in conclusion, Frederic is a fucking liar! 

Tangled the Series can’t decide if it’s in the far past or a reflection of the modern day. As such it winds up supporting the worst of both worlds. Barbaric practices like hanging for minor crimes and prison slave labor are treated as the norm and never called out for the horrific things that they are; treated as a joke even, but we’re suppose to accept that this world also somehow views adolescence through the lens of late 20th century sensibilities even as it forces minors to go through such atrocities. 

Like what are you trying to say show? What is your message on the transition of adolescence to adulthood regarding rights and responsibilities? And don’t tell me ‘it’s not that deep’ because this is suppose to be a coming of age show! That’s the entire premise of the series! 

So How Old Are Stan and Pete Again?

I was always under the impression that Pete was a newbie guard, closer to Cass and Eugene’s age than say Cap or Frederic. That’s why he screws up so much because he’s inexperienced, why he seemed to be the closest thing to a equal colleague Cass had in the guard when she was also just starting out, and why I assumed those braided girls from the movie were his sisters. 

I mean there was nothing on screen previously that would necessarily contradict this reveal, it just doesn’t feel right, that’s all. I guess he could be like 20 here and be 30 in the show. That would make him only a few years older than Eugene, but still doesn’t explain why he’s so useless a decade later. 

I’m fine with Stan being here though. I always thought of him being the older of the two. In fact I headcannon Willow as his mysterious wife that he talked about back in Monty’s episode during season one. (She’s Stan and Pete’s beard, and they’re totally in a open poly relationship. That’s why they’re allowed to stay in the royal guard despite being so incompetent cause they’re technically Ferderic’s in-laws and Rapunzel’s uncles. Just no one ever talks about it cause it’s a minor sandal for a princess to marry lower class and Willow’s hardly ever there.) 

And Why Does Xavier Have All Those Plot McGuffins? 

I know we’ll never get an answer, but at this point Xavier’s exposition fairy powers border upon ridiculousness. It’s just lazy and a waste of character. 

So How Does Time Travel Work In This?

There are three types of time travel stories in fiction. 

First is the ‘Changeable Past, Changeable Future’. You see this in Back to the Future. What you do in the past will change the future, i.e. your present. You may or may not remember that you did it, but be warned you could change things too much and break stuff. Like erasing yourself from existence, or ruining your love life ect. The only way to fix it is to go back in time again and change stuff again. But beware of paradoxes or you may destroy the universe altogether.  

The second is the ‘Alternate Timeline’, where changing things creates new realties and it’s a matter of finding the right reality again. The tv show Sliders is a great example of this. Each new timeline is a different dimension. What you do in one won’t effect your original point of origin, only that particular world. The challenge if often getting home again because the probable diverging timelines are infinite and the changes of getting back are a zillion to one. 

Third is the ‘Closed Time Loop’. No matter what you do nothing will change. The future is inevitable and whatever you do in the past was always meant to happen anyways. Gargoyles handles this really well. You can also have ‘fix points’ where certain important things are set in stone but small things can be changed like in several Doctor Who episodes. Braking a fix point breaks the universe once again, while paradoxes are often the solution rather than the threat. 

So which type of time travel is Tangled dealing with here? 

Scenes like the conversation regarding Pete’s and Stan’s mustache or the ones involving Eugene working on his smolder suggest a closed time loop. Yet the ending to this episode reveals a changed future. Further still the grandfather paradox revolving around the hourglass would make you think an alternate timeline yet, we’ve no indication that anything else changed other then Eugene’s opinions on Cass, and Raps shows no concern about getting back to her original point in time indicating that it actually isn’t another dimension.... so what is it then? 

You don’t have to have a tightly plotted time travel story to have an entertaining piece of media. Endgame is riddled with plot holes and contradicts itself constantly, but what it lacks in coherent plot it makes for with fun characters, emotional story beats, and good pacing that manages to balance the action with the drama while hiding the cracks just enough that you don’t lose immersion. 

Tangled however fails at even this because it gets the character beats so fundamentally wrong.  Like you may dislike where the characters ended up in Endgame, but can’t say that those developments didn’t match the characters’ previous storylines and logical trajectory. Tony finally becomes the selfless hero by committing the ultimate sacrifice, Steve learns self care as a mirror to Tony’s arc as they were always parallels to each other, Bruce learns to accept himself, Thor processes his grief and lets go of the role he was assigned at birth but never truly fit into, and Nat becomes the leader she was destined to be rather than the sidekick.  

What happens to the characters in this episode however makes no sense. 

This is Another Missed Opportunity to Explore Eugene’s Past

The other problem behind the episode is that we don’t actually learn anything new. If you’re going to promise a story focusing on Eugene’s past then I expect to actually glean some new insights. 

We still don’t know why he’s working with Baron or how he fell in/fell out with him, what his relationship with Stalyan is like, how he became so cynical; not just the general basics, like the orphanage, but that point in his life where decided that survival meant giving up his morals and ethics; where did he first learn his better ethics that he originally suppressed (cause it sure as heck wasn’t Rapunzel), and when did he and Lance become separated? 

This are questions that series decides to raise by making allusions to them and building conflicts off of them but never wants to explain the details of where they originated from. It’s super frustrating and wholly unnecessary.  If you didn’t think the story of Eugene’s past worth telling then why did up repeatedly bring it up Chris? 

Why Are You Surprised by This Rapunzel?

Rapunzel you know Eugene’s past. You know what he used to be like. You were literally there in the movie and saw him being an ass before this. You didn’t start to like him until he dropped his guard down in the flooded cave back when you both where about to die. 

You fell in love with him when he showed you his real self and he fell in love with you when you proved that you were accepting of that. You earned each others’ trust. This here; angrily yelling at him and judging him, when you’re already hiding who you really are from him both literally and figuratively, is a breaking of that trust. 

Who the fuck are you any more, Rapunzel? 

Cause you’re not the same character from the movie. You’re not even the same character from season one. But whoever hell you are now, it’s not an improvement I can tell ya that. 

So How Did The Hourglass Go From the Treasury to the Basement Storage, and How Would Raps Know It Was There At This Point and Time?

I’m guessing the implication here is that Crowley put Cass’s stuff in the vault, but like why the fuck would she do that? We’re not talking about a family attic here, but the royal safe. The most heavily guarded room in the castle with the kingdom’s most priceless treasures and antiques. Nothing Cass owned was that valuable.  

Rapunzel Is Full of Shit

Oh let me count the numerous ways in which this whole lecture is stupid. 

Rapunzel left Varian behind. Rapunzel left Varian behind multiple times, including that time he was thrown in jail. She was not a good friend, and no, this is not a case of her learning from her past because not once has she ever admitted that she was wrong to do that. So this scene just makes Raps look like a hypocrite. 

Eugene does not need to relrean a lesson on being a better a person. He did that during the movie and has progressed beyond that point. This ‘lesson’ is a waste of time and a misuse of the characters.

This reframes Rapunzel as being in the right during her argument with older Eugene at the beginning of the episode, even though she’s not. In fact this is such a counterintuitive plot point that it boggles the mind. Who structures a narrative this way? Why so blatantly point out how the main character is wrong if not to have her learn something? Why frame the story to make the person who’s personal conflict isn’t even the episode’s focus, into the one who needs to learn something? Especially if that something is already a lesson that they’ve learned on screen beforehand.

And why, oh good heavens why, would you teach children such a toxic message? Like on the surface it sounds like something you’d hear in a children's show, but the context of it is justifying harmful behavior where you selfishly ignore other people’s wishes and boundaries just to satisfy you’re own personal desires.  

And finally, Eugene and Lance do not work as a parallel to Raps and Cass. Cassandra is an adult who left of own free will. Lance is a teenager who was arrested due to Rapunzel’s own actions. Eugene isn’t the one who is responsible here, its Rapunzel. Who also left them both behind in her carelessness. Secondly, Eugene’s decisions are spurned by years of trauma and a healthy fear of dying, while Rapunzel’s is wrapped up in her own need to always be right and to keep her immature and fanciful outlook of the world intact. As harsh as it seems, what Eugene did was based off a predetermine agreement and presumably Lance would have acted the same way or been pressured to act the same way by Eugene. In short, Eugene’s cynical world view as a teen is not the source of his disagreement with Rapunzel but an adult perspective back by common sense and a respect of others choices. It makes no sense for present day Eugene to ‘learn’ anything from this misadventure that he didn’t already know and for Rapunzel to not learn anything that would actually tie the parallel together. 

Locking Another Teen Inside a Jail Cell With Another Adult as a Joke, Does Not Erase the Inappropriateness of Varian’s Story

The episode tries to add another joke about Shorty sneaking into the prison without the guard knowing, but that still doesn’t excuse the fact someone had to have tossed Lance in there with him on purpose. Otherwise Lance wouldn’t have assumed Shorty was a fellow prisoner if he or the guard that locked him up saw Shorty sneak in before then. 

Furthermore Lance’s nonchalant response suggests this is not an out of the ordinary occurrence. Nor do any of the other guard comment upon the irregularly of teens being jailed with an adult. Now add in the fact that the show fails to clarify that previous ‘cellmate’ line from Rapunzel’s Return and now gives us more confirmation that Varian was underfed and malnourished for a year with that gruel joke and you have a horrifying picture. 

Shorty might be non-threating, but that doesn’t mean Andrew, a known attempted murderer and manipulator, is too. Nor any other adult who previously was housed with a teen before then. This is still very much not okay and no amount of ‘jokes’ will suddenly make it right.  

Raps, Who is an Adult, Just Physically Threatened Two Teenaged Boys and It’s Played as a Joke.... 

How many times do I have to say it? Humor does not fix bad writing. I’m not laughing when a heroine at age 20, threatens a couple of kids for merely annoying her. Especially when said heroine has a history of abusing children; because let me repeat once again, neglect is abuse!

This is a Lie

No you wont. 

Rapunzel never tells Eugene what happens on screen. I suspect that if she ever did, they would no longer be together, because what she wound up doing here was a violation of trust and boundaries in the worst possible way.  

And This is Now a Time Paradox 

A Grandfather Paradox to be specific. How can Rapunzel be here in the past to break the hourglass if the hourglass that sent her here is broken? 

In a competent series this would be the point of a future conflict and not the actual resolution. It’s not a closed time loop because of the paradox and the changes we’ll see in the future. 

So either she’s in an alternate timeline/dimension and just doesn’t gives a shit; leaving the real Eugene, Lance, Cass, ect. to go on without her; or she’s just broke the universe and everything is slowly unraveling around her; galaxies are dying as she whines about being dumped, people in the future are being eased from existence, and God is cursing her name for ruining his creation, all the while she carries on oblivious to the destruction in her wake, as usual. 

That’s it. Those are you’re only two options now. Is everyone from here on a fake copy or is Rapunzel the damned destroyer of worlds? You decide. 

So This Confirms That the Stabbingtons are Indeed “Family”

Another reason why I place this before Return of the King; it explains why Eugene considers the Stabbingtons ‘family’. Though if it was Rapunzel he actually bonded with and not the real Sideburns, then how much of his feelings are real and how much of them were fabricated by her? How much agency did this episode steal from him?

So What Exactly Did We All Change?

Well the dummy no longer has Eugene’s face, but Cass’s painting of the three of them still has him ripped out of the photo, soo... Keeping in mind that Raps painted the dummy anyways and considering that Moonandra tries to kill him later on; I’m going to guess that Cass’s feelings weren’t actually altered. If anything their relationship might actually be worse now, cause Cassandra keeps acting like she’s never had friends and Eugene has taken up Rapunzel’s blind devotion. 

All that development in season one is just, poof, gone. Also it’s quite possible that the first movie as well has now it has been erased from existence as Eugene got his needed character development eight years too early. How the hell that’s suppose to work, I don’t know. 

Outside of the that we get no confirmation how anybody else was effected, even though a more brainwashed Eugene running around would undoubtedly have caused a butterfly effect. Don’t expect that to be explored anytime soon. 

Though, it would explain why he’s suddenly such a doormat in season three, if this was the second episode as theorized. 

No! This is the Wrong Lesson!!!

Let me explain narrative promises. 

Everyone, on some basic fundamental level, understands how stories work. We hear them recounted to us over and over again from the day we're born to the day we die. It’s integral to how we communicate as human beings. Everyone knows innately how to tell a story even if that person couldn’t tell you how stories or structured or what certain literary terms mean, but they do it every day just through speaking. And while most audiences can’t always pin point what upsets them about a story they can for sure notice when things are off and not satisfying to experience. 

Now that doesn’t mean that everyone can write an awarding winning novel, that study of a craft isn’t important, nor that every amateurish critique thrown at any given media is valid. But it does mean that people have come to expect certain storytelling practices and can pick up on narrative cues. We’ve familiarized ourselves with the language of film, novels, comics, ect, into order to comprehend what’s going on. 

Rules of writing are just following that established language so that the audience can keep up. You can break these rules, sure, but unless you know what you’re doing and have a good narrative reason to do so, then you can easily lose you’re audience. And if you’re making money off said audience that’s something you want to avoid. 

A narrative promise is a cue; a set up that lets the audience know that ‘hey this is important, pay attention to this cause it’ll come back into play later’. Now that the audience has been alerted to the plot point they expect fulfillment of the promise. If you break that promise, either through poor set up, lack of follow through, or by breaking an established convention of writing for no other reason then because you just wanted to, your audience is going to walk away unsatisfied. 

The argument at the beginning of the episode was a narrative promise. It was a cue that set up the interpersonal conflict of the main character. For add context, I know that this is a coming of age story. Convention would dictate that the protagonist would resolve this conflict by learning they were wrong. 

That’s not what happened here. 

Convention was subverted. It wasn’t the protagonist who grew and change, it was the person they were in conflict with who did. And it wasn’t subverted because of any greater narrative reason, or future pay off, or even as effort to be shallowly ‘clever’; it was subverted because the author just didn’t want to hold the main character accountable for anything. Because said character has now become his avatar for his wish fulfillment fantasy and having the main character admit fault would be to admit fault in ones own self. Rapunzel doesn’t feel like Rapunzel this season because she’s just Chris in a wig. 

The episode broke a narrative promise to the audience; both within the episode and in the greater premise of the story, because of ego. 

I don’t claim this episode is bad just because of personal taste nor because I find it morally repulsive (even though both those things are true), I call it bad because it exhibits bad writing. Plain and simple. 

Way To Undermine The Entire Point of the Original Movie, Show

Speaking of breaking narrative promises.... 

TTS is suppose to be a squeal to the original movie. It’s even in the title of the show; both of them. In one fell swoop, the series has managed to sabotage it’s very reason for existing, as it erases Eugene’s motivation and the inciting incident that kick started the film. 

 Way to fucking go. 

To further twist the knife, it diminishes the duel protagonist of said film in order to prop up a series original character, who isn't even present in the episode itself. 

I don’t mind Cassandra’s existence. I don’t even mind her being the new deuteragonist and one of the main villains; even though she wouldn’t have been my first pick to fulfill those roles given her lack of set up. But I do fucking mind it if she upstages other characters and/or derails their character arcs in the process. 

This is the Death of New Dream 

I was still in denial when this episode first aired. I honestly believed that this and The Return of the King was build up to a third “betrayal” where Eugene finally became fed up with Rapunzel’s bullshit and joined forces with Zhan Tiri. I thought the end of the series would have Rapunzel apologize to everyone she did wrong, Varian, Cass, and Eugene, in order to break ZT’s hold on them, and that true love’s kiss would reunite the sundrop and the moonstone and that would just tie everything together into a neat little bow and give us a truly daring character study of a Disney hero. 

Oh dear merciful heavens, was I ever wrong.  

How did we go from season one’s challenging and mature storyline, complete with Disney’s first real anti-villian, to this?! 

What the hell happened!? 

Rapunzel not only disrespects Eugene’s opinions, violates his privacy and trust as she manipulates him as a teen, and then brainwashes him to think like her (even if accidentally), but doesn’t even have good grace to tell him. She instead has the audacity to look all happy and self congratulatory because she got want she wanted. She, and the show at large, doesn’t care what evil thing she does to get the desired outcome Rapunzel wants. 

Rapunzel in this show is a spoiled brat. And the image of her and her now lobotomized boyfriend staring dead eyed at a picture of the creator’s previous waifu OC with plastic smiles on their faces, sums up this series perfectly. 

Conclusion 

This isn’t even the worst episode of the series guys. I don’t know if it would even make it onto a bottom five list. That’s how much crap I have to wade through when it comes to this show. This is however the most damaging episode to the franchise as a whole. 

Not even the most hardcore of New Dream fans want to acknowledge the existence of that final scene, and Rapunzel stans won’t defend her beyond, ’well she didn’t mean too, it’s the writing that’s bad.’ Yeah, the writing is bad, that’s why the character can’t and shouldn’t be defended, not here and not in other badly written episodes where she also does bad things and never makes up for it. 

Anyways I’m finally caught up to where I left off, before the move, though sadly I don't think I’ll get this series done by the end of the month like I had originally hoped. But if you would like to help out I have a ko-fi you can drop a tip into if ya want. 

https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

[windblooms]

same anon 🤚🏻 I am v interested in your thoughts and opinions on Zhongli’s kits/gameplay

hi hi!  whew i might be typing a lot so i’ll post my thoughts under the cut.

warning: very long my fingers feel like they’re going to fall off

first and foremost: polearm characters have some of the lowest atk multipliers in the game.  

this is because of their high attack speed and reach: its a trade off, so their individual hits/attacks deal less damage than, say, a sword user. similarly to how a claymore user hits slow but hard.

automatically, you’re looking at poor normal/charged attack damage output from zhongli (ignoring his elemental skills for now, they’ll come up next) because of his weapon type.  i recommend comparing his multipliers over on honey impact if you need actual numbers.

okay, so what about 4 star characters like xiangling and fischl?  xiangling, a polearm user, and fischl, an archer, also have lower base normal/charged attack multipliers compared to sword and claymore characters.  what makes them so good?

this is where elemental skills come into play.

xiangling can summon gouba and fischl can summon oz.  both deal continuous/consistent damage over time and can be moved across the field at least by some distance.  fischl’s oz summons are more flexible than xiangling, and this makes her flexible in combat.

consider zhongli: he can summon a stele that also deals consistent damage over pulses.  that’s the same as xiangling and fischl, right?

no.

once more referencing honey impact: at its lowest rank (rank 1), the stele’s pulses deal 32% atk damage towards enemies in the stele’s range.  at talent level 7 (i choose 7 because it’s the most attainable towards most players at this time), its pulse damage multiplier is 48%.

at rank 1, gouba has a 112% atk multiplier per breath.  at rank 7, that multiplier becomes 166.92%.

at rank 1, oz has an 88% multiplier per attack.  at rank 7, it becomes 133%. 

not only does zhongli have lower normal attack multipliers than xiangling, but his other source of dps, his stele, doesn’t even match gouba’s.  yikes king. 

geo is an element that's made to be independent form the others.  it serves a niche role.

this one’s a bit obvious: you can have involved reactions with electro, hydro, pyro, etc, but geo was designed to be solitary.  geo’s only utility is to make or break shields.  it’s a defensive elemental reaction, compared to super-conduct, overload, etc, that deal extra damage. 

shields also don’t have numbers right now.  

super-conduct and overload display numbers when they deal numbers.  with shields, a regular player doesn’t know how much damage they’re being shielded from.  not on the health bar, or on the side of the screen.  

only within characters who can cast shields do these numbers show, and you have to go into their talents to view the numbers. 

what i’m saying: no one knows how good a shield is.  and this is only for characters who can cast shields.  if you pick up an elemental shard that grants a shield, you have no way of knowing how much damage it will absorb.

the community doesn’t place value in numbers they can’t access.  in genshin so far, the goal is to deal as much damage as possible or abandon domain.  inherently, shields are defensive.  but if we can’t compare their value to damage, then we don’t know how effective they are, and can’t determine how worth they are to invest in.

zhongli’s jade shield is advertised as op.  aight, cool.  but in a community that doesn’t know the value of shields, what purpose does it serve?  players immediately look towards his more engaging, aggressive capabilities, which are his normal, charged attacks, and stele resonance pulses, which we’ve already determined are lackluster.

it gets sooooo much better from here.

the issue with zhongli’s elemental burst and how he compares to other 5 star supports. 

the most flashy part of a character’s kit: their elemental burst.

damage go brrrrr.

lowest energy cost in the game, sitting at a flat 40, whereas fischl and xiangling’s energy costs sit at 60 and 80 respectively. 

looking at the numbers, the damage seems pretty solid (referencing the links above).  petrification also does wonders for the rest of your team so you can take your time to deal hits with normal attacks and your sweet stele – 

wait. 

oh, yeah, that’s right.  zhongli’s other damage sucks.

we’ve established that his normal/charged attacks and elemental skill (stele resonance damage) are not offensively reliable.

just now we’ve come to the oh-so pressing dilemma: once zhongli uses his elemental burst, what does he do?

nothing.

you switch him out to a more capable damage dealer before petrification wears off. 

zhongli’s kit steers him into the supportive role.  that’s fine.  5 star supports like venti and qiqi shine in their roles.  you can argue that venti’s usage is similar to how i’m describing zhongli’s: poor normal/charged attack damage, but his elemental burst does wonders.  

so what makes venti “good” or “s tier” whereas zhongli’s being pummeled into the dirt?

utility.

look at their character demos/teasers: venti’s elemental burst is narrated to “deal additional elemental damage.”  damage.  pulling enemies together.  

what about zhongli’s?  keeps them in place.  his elemental burst makes things easier for his team, but is outclassed by venti’s.  take another look at the numbers: the duration that enemies are stuck in venti’s storm is 8 seconds at all ranks.  zhongli’s petrification lasts 4 seconds at max rank.

venti’s utility lasts twice as long as zhongli’s.  TWICE.  the fact that it’s 8 seconds at rank 1 is, honestly, absurd to me.  that much power at rank 1?  god, wow, that’s busted. 

meanwhile, geo god at max rank twiddles his thumbs in the corner.

final thoughts.

anon my fingers hurt from typing i was trying to chug this out as fast as i can orz

quick recap: zhongli, a 5 star character, has lower normal/charged attack and elemental skill damage multipliers than 4 star characters.  his elemental usage is currently unquantifiable in a community that cannot readily measure the value of shields in the meta.  his elemental burst, his most obvious skill, is outclassed by a support that arguably serves the same purpose and deals the same damage as him.

i don’t think zhongli is a bad character.  i was being sarcastic throughout this entire post to relieve the tension in my fingers oh god oh fu

yeah so please ahsdljadsf im not hating on zhongli, just stating my reasoning and community observations.

anyways,

im not talking about constellations because, frankly, that would make this an entire separate post.  what i am comparing is zhongli’s base value when put against other characters who serve the same purpose as him, or fall into the same damage category.

he underperforms.  by all means, if you love his aesthetic, and love him as a character, continue to enjoy playing him.  this isn’t me saying that he’s trash all around.  this is me saying that, in a meta so fine-tuned, his gameplay lacks severely. 

there are probably some builds that can make you tune him however you'd like.  smack two-piece bloodstained chivalry and two-piece gladiator on him and you’ll deal more damage with normal/charged attacks and his stele for sure.  but is that the easiest thing to do for a unit with the lowest multipliers in the game?  no.  it’s much more practical, given his kit, to build him support.

im so tired but feel free to ask more questions orz or if i need to clarify anything

[screamingatanemptyroom]

Please Fix the Story pt 2 - Zombie Apocalypse

Hey everyone, here is a continuation to the the fix it fic Reverse harem short story I posted a few days ago! 

Part one linked here. 

(FYI although it is a different world, the main character as well as Liam are the same people. As stated at the end of the first part, Liam cannot bring along any memories from prior worlds) 

Enjoy!

__________________________

GRRRR!

I looked around at my surroundings as I arrived in the new world, trying to catch my bearings.

Broken down buildings, abandoned cars, no people around and zombies about to attack… yep, definitely a post-apocalyptic setting.

I was in the middle of a city road, surrounded on all sides by tall, buildings with shattered windows, exposed beams and hanging wires. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up as I felt the unsettling atmosphere slowly settle over me. There was a strange silence to the world, the absence of people talking, cars honking, electronics beeping. There was just the wind, my breathing and silence…

GRRR.

…and the growls of the twenty or so zombies slowly approaching me.

I climbed up on an abandoned car, trying to catch my bearings. The movement tore at the four or five wounds that were scattered over my body, forcing out a groan of pain.

Multiple bruises, possible broken ribs, several cuts to arms and legs that still have broken bits of glass in them… it’s like I’ve been in a bar brawl.

It was always frustrating before I could accept the memories of my character and the world setting. I had no idea where I was, how I had gotten here, and more importantly what my mission was.

First things first, I need something to defend myself with.To my pleasant surprise, a quick survey of the area revealed a backpack that looked full and a sword resting on the ground nearby.

I jumped down, biting my lip to hold back a cry of pain at the motion, and quickly pulled the backpack on, unsheathing the sword and looking at it. It looked like something out of a museum, with an ornate gold plated hilt and a long, slightly curved blade. The weight and length were just at the limit of what this current body could bear, and I gave the sword a few practice swings with a grin.

Wonder how my character got a hold of a sword… this body doesn’t seem like one that practices fencing.

Putting my questions out of my mind, I held up my sword, centering my thoughts and bringing my heart into focus, just as I had trained in the past.

Fortunately, one of the previous story worlds I had lived through since the day I woke up without memories had been an assassin novel. The mission had been difficult; protecting the assassin’s guild from destruction after the hero left them behind to chase the heroine on an adventure. The author had regretted destroying his beloved family and guild members, and abandoned the novel. So I was tasked with spending years training weapons skills in the group, finally fighting against the rogue gang that attacked and defending the hero’s family in his place. Completing that mission had taken seven years in total, but  on the bright side I had gained a good amount of fighting experience.

I closed my hand over the familiar weight of a sword in my palm. Time to start a new world.At the thought I felt a pang of loneliness and couldn’t help but close my eyes and smile bitterly. How is it that I’ve spent years and years in some of these worlds, and they still didn’t manage to move my heart as much as four weeks spent in a silly high school romance novel world?

“Liam.” I whispered quietly, opening my eyes with a sigh. He had so easily bypassed my defenses, making me care about him to the point that I had hesitated about moving on to the next world.

I have to keep moving forward, it’s my only hope of recovering my memories and going home.

Grrrr.

Thinking about the world and people I had left behind had depressed my mood, but thankfully, an outlet for my emotions had just presented itself on a silver platter.

“Time for some emotional therapy… by killing zombies.” With a  smile I put away all stray thoughts and feelings, suppressed any sensation of pain or fear. There was only me, my sword, and the targets to destroy.

I was ready.

Silent, I sprang forward, my sword raised.

My first slash cut off the nearest zombies arm, the sword slicing through the rotten meat and brittle bones with ease.

Thud.

The arm hit the ground with a dull sound. The zombie’s wide, lidless eyes stared down at the detached limb for a few moments, as if confused, before turning back towards me with renewed energy.

GRRR.

Right, undead. Cutting off limbs won’t do much. So let’s try decapitation.

Ducking under the zombie’s remaining arm, I straightened up behind the monster and aimed this time for the neck.

This time both head and body fell to the ground, and became still.

Success!

The rotten blood and flesh dripped onto my hand from the stained blade. Disgusted, I swung the sword back and forth, which only served to scatter the remnants in the air, releasing a horrific smell. I gagged, forcing myself to breathe through my mouth and leaping at the nearest zombie with a snarl.

“This is so gross!”

SLICE! Two zombies fell to the ground on either side of me.

“I hate this world so much!”

Swish! Slice! THUD!

“WHAT IF THERE’S NO RUNNING WATER AND I CAN’T SHOWER?!!!”

A zombie’s growl cut off suddenly as the head flew out into the distance.

“I don’t even know what the mission is, but it already SUCKS!”

Letting out my frustration, I took out the remaining zombies, standing in place in a puddle of goo, my breaths coming in an out with a harsh gasping sound as my out of shape body tried to catch up with the practiced movements I had just put it through. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, breathing caused sharp pains as my broken ribs protested and made their presence known.

I was injured, I was tired, and I was covered in zombie guts.

I want to go home.

But I didn’t know where home was.

Feeling sorry for myself, I sat down on the ground, pulling out my phone and checking the mission.

“This better be a quick one.”

As I pulled up the familiar screen the first thing I noticed was a notification.

**** CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE LEVELED UP!****

“… Pardon?”

As you continue to complete world missions in an efficient and satisfactory manner, you will gain experience and level up the mission system, allowing you additional benefits and assistance.

A small experience bar glowed at the bottom of the notification, with only a sliver of the space filled in and a large number “2” next to it.

“It took TWELVE worlds for me to get to level 2?!” I fought the desire to throw my phone with rage, and continued to read.

With your new level, you have unlocked key character descriptions and world map in the mission app! As well as… other benefits!

“…” I stared at the screen silently. Why do I feel like this thing is just messing with me now?I’m just going to ignore this. It’s too rage inducing.

I clicked through the message and moved on to the mission description.

**** NEW WORLD: WAR OF THE UNDEAD ****

This post-apocalyptic zombie infested story follows Eric, a young man with a military background and the will to fight as he survives the end of the world. By his side is the love of his life Hannah, who holds his hand through the uneasy tides of crumbling social structures, horrifying monsters and evil villains.

Complaints about the story were rampant as the heroine of the novel was deemed “useless” with no discernable skills, often getting kidnapped and wreaking havoc for Eric to clean up after. Unable to balance the two main leads, the author finally gave up and never finished the story, leading to the world’s instability and eventual destruction.

                                                                               The Author’s wish, and your mission, consists of two parts: First, help the heroine develop into a well-rounded character, able to stand on her own two feet instead of a two dimensional plot device designed to give the hero problems to solve. Second, help humanity establish a good foundation for a new society, leaving the story on a high note with hope for defending against the zombies.

**** DO YOU ACCEPT THIS MISSION?****

I glared at my screen, desperately wishing for a “decline” option.

HELP HUMANITY ESTABLISH A FOUNDATION?!!! HOW LONG IS THAT GOING TO TAKE??

I let out a sad moan, leaning against the broken car and staring up at the dull grey sky with a hopeless gaze.

How long do I have to live in this world and go without a hot shower?

I clicked Accept, my finger stabbing the screen angrily, accomplishing nothing other than a sore fingertip. The memories of my character rushed in, the splitting pain and confusion passing quickly as I accepted them with ease.

“… Well, I guess it could be worse.”

I was a small side character in this story, the spoiled princess of the hero’s group that caused trouble. Upon joining up with their team, she would constantly complain, wishing for luxury and pampering in a world where survival was the only priority. She was tolerated as she had brought with her a large bag of supplies from her family’s mansion, as well as an antique sword that she had taken off the wall as she left, but the goodwill of the hero and his friends quickly ran dry in the face of her spoiled personality and increasingly ridiculous demands.

Finally after several years and multiple fights, her character was kidnapped along with Hannah, the heroine. The hero was forced to choose one to save, and selected his loved one without hesitation. Even at the end her character believed she was too important to be killed, threatening her captors right up until they threw her into a pit of zombies.

It seemed as if I had started this world right after my character had abandoned her first team. They had gotten into a fight with a roaming bandit group, (which explained my current injuries) during which my character had escaped, leaving her teammates behind.

As the story moved on she would then meet up with the hero and his camp, joining and staying alongside them until her untimely demise.

Unfortunately it looks like one of the hero’s companions was a friend of this character, which will make it difficult to explain the large difference in the personality… Rubbing my headthoughtfully as I considered the problem, I finally gave up and sighed. Oh well, the apocalypse changes people, they’ll just have to accept it.

The phone in my hand vibrated once more, with surprise I glanced down at the new alert.

With your level up, you are able to change your character’s name to one of your choosing. All characters’ memories will be adjusted accordingly.

**** Select a character name? ****

I struggled internally with a sudden childish desire to name my character “ass-licker” or something equally stupid, just for the chance to hear everyone have to say it seriously.

But if I was going to spend a few years in this world… that would get old fast.

I slowly typed out a name, a small smile tugging at the corner of my lips.

“Blaire.”

My favorite world so far.A memory I wanted to keep with me.

I wonder what happened to Liam after I left? Before I could consider that thought too closely, a panicked scream broke the silence of the city.

“HELP!”

Following the distressed sounds, I entered a nearby building. In a large open area filled with broken concrete and other debris, a single young man was cornered by three zombies. He held a metal bar in his hands, which he was swinging wildly, barely keeping the monsters at bay. They were slowly crowding him into a corner, but seemed unable to reach any closer. The man continued swinging, all the while a constant stream of half-intelligible cursing and complaints escaping from his mouth.

“Damned traitor…. Make him regret… snap his neck… no that’s too good for him! … boiling… oil… funnel…!”

For all that this is a life threatening situation, why do I get the feeling he seems… like he’s having fun?

Shaking off the wayward thought, I rushed in, sword drawn, striking the zombies down with a few swings. As their heads tumbled to the ground, I kneeled down, using their shredded clothes to carefully clean the blade. As I looked up, I saw the startled face of the man I saved, and felt a moment of panic.

“Liam?”

After staring silently a few moments, I shook my head sadly

It wasn’t him.

He was older, taller, with a slimmer build. His hair, though a similar dark shade, was longer and roughly cut. His face was not the one in my memories, with a slimmer nose and a more pointed chin, but his eyes… they were the exact same shade of dark blue as Liam in the previous world. It was the eyes that had initially caused me to call out, the amused light in them so familiar it was as if he were still right in front of me.

But he wasn’t. I had left that world, and therefore Liam, behind.

“I’m sorry, I mistook you for someone else.”

The man shook his head, his face still pale with shock. “Don’t be sorry! You saved my life!”  He walked forward, holding out a trembling hand to shake. “I’m so glad you showed up when you did!”

I took his hand, trying to smile comfortingly. “Happy to help. Are you going to be okay? How’d you end up here all alone?”

“I got separated from my… friends.” He looked at me closely. “You’re such a strong person, I would have died without you!  I know I’m weaker than you, and might be a burden but… would you… be willing to let me tag along until we get to camp?”

Poor guy, he still looks terrified.I patted him on the shoulder. “Of course.”

He sighed with relief. “Thank you. You’re my hero!”

I laughed at that. “Just call me Blaire.”

“I’m William! But you can call me Liam.”

“Liam?” I paused, unable to hold back from asking.  “I’m sorry… but… have we met before?”

“Hmm… Unfortunately no, I would have definitely remembered you. But perhaps we were fated to meet?” His eyes were clear as he spoke, without any recognition. I frowned.

It can’t be the same person… but he’s just as weird as Liam from the other world, that’s for sure. Unable to shake the sense of familiarity, I sheathed my sword and gestured for him to follow.

“Let’s go.”

“Of course, savior of my life! I’ll follow you to the ends of the earth!”

“… Just to the camp is fine.”

As we stepped out into the street we were immediately confronted by the sight of a large group of tough-looking, scarred men, each carrying multiple weapons. As I tensed up, my hand on my sword hilt, the closest man in the group spotted us, his eyes lighting up with excitement.

“BOSS! You’re still alive!”

I glanced back at Liam, who looked mildly annoyed.

“Boss! We killed the traitor and brought back the weapons he stole from you!”

Tossing out a duffel bag, the zipper was open enough to spot multiple guns, grenades and other deadly weapons.

“…”

“…”

We all stared at the bag in silence for a few moments.

“Boss?” I finally asked.

He gave an awkward grin. “It’s just a friendly nickname.”

“So I’m guessing you won’t need my protection on the way to the nearest camp.” Feeling mildly disappointed, I stepped away, preparing to leave. Only to pause at Liam’s panicked shout.

“Wait, no!” He stepped closer, waving his arms frantically. “I definitely need your protection! These guys are just joking! I’m actually quite a weakling, and desperately need someone strong like you to look after me.”

“What are you saying boss?” One of the goons interrupted. “You’re probably the most deadly man alive…”

THUD

A stone flew through the air, striking the man between the eyes, and knocking him to the ground.

“Shut. Up.” Liam hissed,

“OUCH! That hurt!”

“Now you tell this beautiful woman who saved my life and has promised to protect me how weak and helpless I am!”

The large muscular men all turned towards me, terror in their eyes.

“Boss is the weakest!”

“Definitely weak!”

“He needs protection!”

“He’d die without you!”

“…” I gave Liam a look. Do you really think I’d buy this?

His response was a shameless smile. “Don’t worry, I won’t drag you down! I’ll cook for you!”

“…”

“Run errands!”

“…”

“Do housework!”

I finally spoke up. “Really? You’d do all that?”

“Yes, I…”

“You can’t expect the Boss to act like a servant!!” One of the men burst out angrily, only to fly back as another stone struck him in the face. Another burly, scarred thug took his place.

“Ahem. What my friend meant to say is, Boss is highly skilled in all of these tasks. He’s great husband material!”

Liam gave the man a thumbs up. “Shark, you’re a smart fellow. You’ve just been promoted to my new right hand man!”

“Thanks Boss!”

“Now take care of things while my life savior and hopefully future wife escorts me back!” He grabbed the duffel bag, offering the contents to me before choosing a small handgun and a grenade for himself and handing the rest to Shark.

The man took the remaining weapons with a terrifying smile. “Definitely!” With a sharp whistle, he and the other men quickly turned around and ran away, dragging the injured man who had protested Liam taking on cleaning duties behind them.

“…” I watched this all with confusion. How did the title of future wife get added on to a simple request to escort him to camp?I almost told him to go away, but hesitated. Faced with his almost puppy-like look of anticipation I swallowed the words I was about to say, helplessly turning back in the direction of the hero’s camp. “Let’s go.”

__________________________

We traveled together for a few days, and I found Liam to be an entertaining companion. At each stop he would light a fire, cook a meal, and arrange the camp. Any offers to help were met with stiff resistance.

“You’re the one doing me the favor.” He answered once with a smile. “I’m just trying to support you!”

“…”

“You know…” He added nervously. “If you think that I’m useful… I’d be happy to work for you full time in exchange for your protection.”

“…”

“For example, if we got married it would be super convenient to bring me along as your support husband.”

I sighed quietly, rubbing my head. “You know we’ve only known each other three days right?”

“The great thing about that concern is that it becomes less relevant the longer we’re together!” He grinned briefly, before putting on a serious expression.

“You asked me once if we met before… and even though I know we haven’t I can’t shake the feeling that I know you. As if there’s a voice shouting from the depths of my soul, telling me that if I lose you I’ll regret it forever, but if I can stay by your side I’ll be the happiest man alive.”

I couldn’t help but shake my head. He reminds me so much of Liam spouting his minion nonsense. But if he’s the same person… how did he follow me here?

“By the way… if you thought that sounded poetic, I would like to add ‘well-spoken’ and ‘artistic’ to the lists of attractive traits that I bring to the table as a potential husband or even just a good lackey.”

“…” Let’s just ignore him and get to camp as soon as possible.

__________________________

We arrived at the camp. Fortunately our path had been fairly clear, we met very few zombies on our way. As we walked up to the camp entrance, and attractive man and woman met us, their expressions somewhat guarded.

“Who are you and why are you here?” The man called out.

I paused a good distance away to avoid seeming to threatening, and studied him closely. He looked to be in his mid twenties, with close-cropped hair and classically handsome features. He had a gun at his hip, and a knife close to his hand, obviously ready to respond to any danger.

Smells like a male lead.

I held up my hands, showing that they were empty of weapons and tried to appear friendly.

“I’m Blaire. I’ve recently split from another roaming group and was hoping to join your camp here.” I carefully put my backpack of supplies on the ground and opened it, showing off the contents. “I’ll share some of my supplies. I’m also decent with a sword, and can add to your fighting force.”

The man looked both me and the bag over carefully. “I’m Eric.” He finally spoke up, his expression slightly more relaxed. He pointed at Liam who still stood next to me. “Who’s your friend?”

“I’m Liam, her lackey!” He announced before I could say something. “Also hopeful suitor.”

“Are you joining as well?”

“Of course!”

I glanced over at him. “What about your gang?”

“What gang?”

“…”

“… Those punks you met earlier? They’ll be fine.”

I sighed and turned back towards the hero of the story. “So what’s your answer?”

He watched us both, obviously thinking carefully. “On a trial basis.” He turned around, carefully protecting the delicate young woman next to him. She was petite, barely coming up to Eric’s shoulder, and had a fair complexion already turning red in the sun. Her eyes were large with an innocent light in them, as she stared at me with a nervous look.

This must be Hannah, our heroine. She definitely seems… easy to kidnap. So helping her become a well-rounded character is mission number one, huh? I followed behind them, my mind racing with plans to help turn her into a force to be reckoned with in this post-apocalyptic wasteland.

This is going to be fun!I rubbed my hands together, a villainous laugh escaping me.

Liam poked my arm, whispering. “Blaire, although I personally think your evil laugh is wonderful, and I could listen to it all day… I feel like I should warn you that you’re scaring the young girl over there.”

I paused, catching Hannah’s terrified expression, and tried to give her a reassuring smile. In response her face turned even more pale under her sunburn, and she hugged Eric tightly as if wanting to escape.

“Was my smile that terrifying?” I leaned over towards Liam and asked quietly.

“I’m the wrong person to ask. I find your strength and ability to intimidate the masses vastly reassuring.”

“Thanks… I guess.”

I followed the lead characters into the camp silently, Liam following close behind me.

It was time to save the story.

And… hopefully find a way to shower.

[fallout-lou-begas]

Questions for OC Creators

Shamelessly stole this from @tarberrymentats​‘ post because I’m always a sucker for behind-the-scenes character inspiration and meaning stuff, so if you steal this in turn, feel free to tag me!

(I’m also stealing Halk’s usage of lovely art by @yesjejunus​ for this one 🖤)

Agnes Sands, Courier Six of the Mojave Express

A) Why are you excited about this character?

Agnes was an opportunity to create what felt like a very unorthodox OC, and it’s an opportunity that has certainly paid off. She’s not young, and she’s not a particularly pleasant or easygoing person to be around, but she’s also not the endearingly tragic loner type or a badass army-of-one. She’s not “spunky” or “fun” and isn’t the kind of Fallout character who’s necessarily motivated to do every quest, meet every companion, accomplish every thing. She’s not an important person; being an important person is anathema to her, and the looming, overarching themes of It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’ are these ideas of the hard limits on unlikely heroism, and how you really can’t fly that far on circumstance and luck. I’m very excited for everyone to see how it goes when the going gets tough.

Furthermore, the design and writing process for Agnes was very informed by finding justifications, reasons, and origins for all of her personality traits, skills, and various hang-ups. The result is a character that feels, to me, so deeply real and well-rounded and alive, that Agnes is a person who has lived every one of her 34 years of age, and that in each of those years were key developments that molded her into the person she is. When I write her, I feel like I know her because of how intimately I’ve researched and come to understand the life she’s led. I don’t want to say it comes effortlessly, but there’s a very genuine, sculpted depth to her character that I’m proud of, and it forms the bedrock of It Keeps Right On a-Hurtin’.

It is also very important to me that Agnes is a trans woman, and is a trans woman who looks the way she does with a strong jaw and a big nose and long face and a wide body and hairy arms and so many other “masculine” features, because I wanted to create a character with a very real, visceral, visible transness to them, and for this transness to be a meaningful part of her character that informs her relationship to other people and the scarce world of the Mojave Wasteland instead of just an auxiliary character trait. She is no less of a woman for existing the way she does, but I simply wasn’t interested in creating a character or interpreting the Mojave Wasteland in a way that wouldn’t meaningfully grapple with what it really feels like, to me, to be a trans woman.

B) What inspired you to create them?

Many of Agnes’ character traits actually come from mechanical and specialization decisions that I play in game. I often joke that Agnes “just plain sucks,” but it’s true that in my Fallout: New Vegas game, I have encumbrance set to a measly 25 lbs without backpacks (necessitating her shoulder-slung duffel bag), use a directional flashlight instead of the Pip-Boy light (necessitating the shoulder-mounted flashlight), play with dramatically decreased total S.P.E.C.I.A.L. and skill points per level (which is why she’s so bad-to-average at most things except key specialties), and so on. This was the most obvious level of inspiration, and much of Agnes’ personality and backstory is reverse-engineered to justify the aspects of her character suggested and represented by her mechanical stats.

C) Did you have trouble figuring out where they fit in their own story?

Epiphanies have come over time, but ultimately I more or less hammered out Agnes’ whole “story” upfront. I have a detailed character bible saved away that covers not only her entire life pre-courier, but the story beats of her experience as the courier thrown into the center of the events of Fallout: New Vegas and the seismic geopolitical power plays leading up to the second battle of Hoover Dam. So, uh, stay tuned for each new issue of IKROAH!

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

I wouldn’t say that I’ve meant to meaningfully change her appearance over time, but as I’ve been working on the comic, I’ve simply gotten better at drawing and the result has been an Agnes that more consistently looks like how I want her to look. One deliberate change to her appearance has been that her hair is a lot fluffier and voluminous than it used to be, just because a few other peoples’ fanart of her would be like that and I really liked how it looked.

E) Are they someone you would get along with? Would they get along with you?

Hard to say. Agnes has such a defensive, prickly, and particular personality and is so shy and anxious that she’s someone very hard to get along with in general, regardless of who you are. Cass could only ply her through a combination of drunken genuineness and total embarrassment that razor-cut right to her trauma. I don’t think I’d have the...audacious wherewithal to be that blunt with her if we’d just met. The best case scenario is that she imprints on me as a younger trans woman and feels compelled to look out for me because if there’s one soft spot she has, it’s that.

F) What do you feel when you think of your OC (pride, excitement, frustration, etc)?

Pride at the amount of work I’ve put into developing her and crafting her story so far, pride at how it’s been such a rewarding and enjoyable vehicle for getting so much better at art and writing since this summer, and occasionally sadness just because, man, I really let her fucking have it sometimes, huh.

G) What trait of theirs bothers you the most?

Her solitary lifestyle made it necessary to find a way to write Cass into the story, just so that there would be some more dialogue while she traveled. She has a lot of interpersonal flaws, her habit of going from totally reclusive and private to hollering mad with no steps in between would certainly be off-putting to me especially. She gets a bad, sad, crying kind of angry, and she doesn’t get there quick but she goes get there suddenly.

H) What trait do you admire most?

She has a dedication to her and a commitment to what she’s good at. She understands the value of stability, good work and a good job. Sometimes this value is so much to her that it keeps her stagnant, and she’s very much a person who’s stuck in their ways in so many regards, but there’s a resilience to her that may not be obvious at first, but that she simply wouldn’t have gotten this far or survived without.

I) Do you prefer to keep them in their canon universe?

Agnes’ story is so tailored to the source material of Fallout: New Vegas that I thought that transplanting her into other AUs would be difficult, but it’s actually been pretty seamless inserting her into the a modern AU with a few friends called Courier House, where instead of being a courier, she kept up her medical training and works as an EMT. That also spun off into a modern zombie AU, which is just fun and tragic in a lot of juicy ways.

I also have a lot of thoughts on an AU in which she makes it to the Commonwealth, in which she’d become Nick’s partner at the eventually-renamed Valentine and Sands Detective Agency, helping to solve cases of burglary and theft, B&E, and advises on various security concerns. She’d also get extremely invested in tracking down missing children. There are a lot of parallels and dramatic development potential between Agnes Sands and Nick Valentine that I’d kill for more time to explore one day.

J) Did you have to manipulate or exclude canon factors to allow them to create their character?

I didn’t have to, no, but I chose to and at least filled in some holes. My theory on transitional health care in the wasteland is all my own (the Followers are the primary manufacturer and distributor of hormones, which can be inefficiently synthesized from Auto-Docs so they’re not impossible to find but are considerably rare) and I’ve taken some liberties in the IKROAH canon so far for convenience, such as Primm never getting taken over by convicts and the Cassidy Caravans buyout offer being a letter at the Mojave Express instead of something she’d have had to get personally from Alice McLafferty later on. Expect a lot more little twists like this in the future.

[legitlaur]

Brick by Brick // Peter Parker

Peter Parker x Reader

Word Count: 1.8k

Warnings: None

Summary: Tony wants Peter to train with you so he can understand his powers better, but also not rely on them all the time. You’re very distant and stoic but Peter is determined to break down your walls, brick by brick

next>>>>>

Tony knew Peter didn’t understand his power, the brute strength he had. He was worried that if Peter didn’t learn how to utilize and control all of his powers soon, he could hurt someone or even worse hurt himself. Before Tony would let that happen, he found you. You were the key to helping Peter.

“Let’s get you training.” Mr. Stark clapped his hand onto Peters back, guiding him down a set of stairs, “I’ve got someone for you to meet. I think she can really help you understand your power.”

“S-she?” Peter's voice cracked. He wasn’t great at interacting with anyone, but the opposite sex was a completely different ballgame. And Peter didn’t even play sports. 

Tony laughed, “There’s nothing to worry about, kid. She’ll be nice.” He mumbled more or less to himself, “Hopefully.” 

“Mr. Stark?”

Tony could see the worry in those soft brown eyes, “I’m kidding.” He tried to comfort his protégée.

Whenever Tony sensed Peter was more nervous than usual he tried to call him down by talking with him about normal things. Chemistry and tech, subjects that didn’t impact superheroes. He used that technique now while traversing through his complex compound.

“I don’t understand, why am I training?” Peter shrugged, “My skills don’t really require training.” he finally brought up the subject again.

Tony’s face landed in his palm, “If you think you’ve got what it takes to be a hero just wait until you’re done with your trainer. She’s going to kick your ass.”

“I dunno Mr. Stark, I think I could handle anything at this point.” He looked down and spoke under his breath, “Anything but girls.”

“Here we are.” Tony’s hand dropped from Peters back and gestured to the glass doors in front of them, “Through those doors, you’ll meet y/n, she’ll be living here so you can have access to her 24/7.” His playful tone quickly shifted into seriousness, “Be nice, it was different to get her here.” He pushed Peter towards the glass doors.

“Yo-you’re not going to introduce us? Or umm, ya know, walk me in?” Peter tried to fight off Tony’s pushing.

“You got it, kid.” Leaving Peter with a pat on the back, Tony walked back up the stairs.

Taking a deep breath Peter reminded himself that this was just training, he could do it. He gripped the handle, opened the door and slid into the gym. Except it wasn’t really a gym.

There were computers, cement blocks, web-shooters, screens, and designs. Even what he assumed to be a small medical area.

Peter's eyes stopped once he saw you. Your face was tight, jaw clenched. You’re hair in a slicked-back ponytail, he could tell by the way you walked you had confidence. Not a regular teenage girl has confidence, you looked like you could kill someone just by staring at them. He could tell because that’s the way he felt when you saw him walk in. Peter felt as though your stare was peering into his very soul. 

“Peter Parker, you look different than your file photo.” Your voice was loud and powerful, quite a contrast from your small stature.

Peter tried to reciprocate a dominant voice, but cracked his voice mid-sentence, “Y-you have my file?”

You sat down on a small black couch, Peter missed it in his initial glance over the gym, “Have a seat,” your petite hand patted the sofa. “We need to go through your abilities.”

Peter cantered to the leather couch, sitting down a decent distance from where your hand was. He exhaled for the first time since walking into the gym.

You pressed a button and all of Peter's information popped up in front of them. “So you’ve got superhuman strength, we’ll need to test how strong you really are.” You began typing in the air. Peter watched the list come to life, “Also your endurance, it doesn’t matter how strong you are, if you can’t keep it up for very long.”

“Yeah, ok. When do we start?” His legs were bouncing up and down.

“You’re very anxious Mr. Parker.” You mused.

Peter's face flushed with redness, “You don’t um.” Rubbing the back of his neck he looked into your eyes, “How old are you?”

“17, same as you.” You spoke matter of factly. 

His hands were getting clammy now, Mr. Stark never said his trainer was going to be a teenage girl, “Well, if you’re, ya know. If you’re a teenager you don’t have to call me Mr. Parker-”

“What would you prefer me to call you?” She interrupted.

His voice was rushed, “Peter, Peter is fine. What about you? What should I call you?” He wiped away the sweat onto his denim jeans. 

Without hesitation, your toneless voice echoed throughout the room, “My name is y/n, but you can call me whatever you please. Now let's get to work.”

You walked with grace and poise, while Peter stumbled through the unfamiliar area. He followed you into the medical corner. 

“What's all this?” Peter's stomach twisted.

You began tying on a computer, proceeded to look Peter up and down, and continue looking at the screen.

Peter used his hands to cover his body, “What are you doing?”

You pulled a sphygmomanometer from a drawer, “I’ll need your blood pressure and we’ll need to wire you up so I can see your stats while you’re training.”

“Oh.” Peter pushed his sleeve up for the sphygmomanometer.

Day one of training consisted of you picking Peter's brain about his powers, seeing what he knew he was capable of. Peter tried to answer the questions well, but he was so stressed with the circumstances of this girl knowing every detail about his life. 

You sat him down again after a few tests and wrote out a timeline. Mondays and Wednesdays were for power control. Tuesdays and Thursdays were hand to hand combat. Friday and Saturday were rest days, except you refuse to stop working so you’d be working on suits and web-shooters, any tech that would improve SpiderMan. 

Peter dropped onto his bed, he ripped his sweaty shirt off and laid there. Just contemplating what the next few weeks were going to be like.

You were so stoic and cold, he wished you were more warm and welcoming. It was hard enough that you were a girl who is the same age as him, but being so put off-ish wasn’t going to help the situation. He needed to become comfortable with you quick.

After trying to come up with some solutions Peter gave up and decided it best to call May. 

“You’ve gotta hang out with her outside of training Peter. Maybe introduce her to some of your friends, let her see you as Peter Parker, not Spider-man.” May's voice was calm and sweet.

Running his fingers through his curly knots Peter mumbled into the phone, “She’s intimidating, I don’t really want to hang out with her unless I have too.”

His jaw clenched when he heard May laughing, “Every teenage girl is intimidating. You’ve gotta be yourself, show her all of you’re great attributes when you spend quality time together.”

“I’ll try.” Peter huffed.

“Keep me posted. Love you.”

Peter rolled his eyes, “Love you too, May.” 

The next morning, Peter tried to get you to talk about yourself. He asked you question after question. You only answered a handful of them, your answers were concise and distant. It was clear that you thought you were better than him. Peter would have to earn your respect.

He planned to. 

During his short lunch break, he devised a plan to show you he wasn’t just some random kid that got bit by a spider giving him powers. He was going to prove that he didn’t need powers or the suit to be a good superhero. 

“You ready for hand to hand?” The excitement in your voice shocked Peter.

“You like hand to hand, huh?” He tried to continue the conversation. 

Your stoic face softened into a small grin, “It’s my favorite, you get to see how much a person relies on their tech and powers when they are fighting raw.” 

Peter took off his jacket revealing perfectly toned biceps. Your cheeks shifted from snow white into a baby pink. “Ok then let’s do this. I have to warn you though, I really don’t have much experience with this.”

You laughed, a real happy laugh. He could see the sparkle in your eyes. For once you looked gentle and beautiful. He quickly shoved that thought out of his head. “On the mats, Parker.”

The two of you were in your stances. You say go and Peter lunges at you. Being light on your feet you dodge his body completely. Peter managed to safe the fall and spin around. You were already across the ring, watching his fighting style if you can even call it fighting you knew he was offensive. Maneuvering around his lean body was easy, whenever the kid was around you he was a train wreck.

To put Peter out of his misery you finally switched from defense to offense and punched him in the abdomen. Expect he seemed to hardly be affected by it, normally you could knock the air out of someone with that punch. He just stood there, looking confused as ever.

“Get up, your form sucks.” You grabbed his arm and pulled the kid up. “Want a towel, you’re sweating like a pig.”

Peter jumped off the mat and grabbed two towels, “Here.” 

Wiping the sweat from your neck, you stretched, “God, it’s so hot. I can’t do this, Tony needs to work on AC down here.” Before Peter could look away you pulled your shirt off. Revealing your slim figure, the tight blue sports bra makes your eyes pop.

“Okay.” Peter did his best to not look you up and down, but how could he not? You were stunning.

You pushed Peter, he wobbled but didn’t fall. “See, stance.”

“Pushing me isn’t going to help, ya know.” He couldn’t even make eye contact with you.

“Keep tension here,” you placed your hand on his abdomen. He looked into your eyes, you could see the curiosity and hunger in them, “Your feet are too far apart, get them shoulder-width apart.” Backing away you faced the boy, “Throw a punch.”

“What?”

You rolled your eyes, “Throw a punch Parker, I need to see it.”

“But, but I could hurt you?” His voice cracked in frustration.

You fisted your hand and threw your hand towards Peter. You looked up and your jaw dropped, he caught your punch. Seconds later you were flipped over and your back was on the floor.

“As I said, I can hurt you. I know I don’t look like I can lift 10 tons, but I can.” He left you on the mats to grab his water.

You stood up and watched him throw his shirt over his head, and scrunch his sweaty hair. You couldn’t help but stare at his perfectly sculpted body. “Damn,” you breathed.

“I’m done for today.” He barked as he pushed the glass doors open and walked out.

You fell back onto the mat and looked into the fluorescent lights. Somehow you were falling for Peter Parker.

Part 2??

taglist: @laurrenhawker

next>>>>

[marsqrd-blog]

          hey guys, i’m oliver. this is mario aka mar. i’m from buffalo, ny so when i learned there was a buffalo, mn, i knew absolutely had to do it ‘em.

❛  ｡ ‹  xavier serrano. he/him. male.  ›  “  MARIO MARINO at dean levinson’s office please.  “  it’s that TWENTY-ONE year old JUNIOR from BUFFALO, MN, right ? can’t imagine what they’re in for this time, after all they are LAIDBACK & LOYAL. then again, their PRIVATE & UNFORTHCOMING tendencies could land them in the dean’s office any time of the day. from what i’ve heard they’ve joined THE MEN'S ICE HOCKEY TEAM and majoring in ARCHITECTURE, but their trademark style consists of SNOWFLAKES CLINGING TO HIS HOODIE AND HAIR, A SMILE LIKE A WARNING BEFORE EVERY HIT, GRUESOME SCARS YOU'VE LEARNED TO LOVE.  ˚ ◝ oliver. 21. they/them. est.

THE STORY ( honestly ngl this part reads like a wikipedia page so skip down to MISC for somewhat more relevant things )

-- minnesota : land of 1000 lakes, the state of hockey, of cold, long winters you learn to love or leave to forget ---- that was where he was born, on the coldest day of the year. maybe there’s something to that because he doesn’t get cold very often. ( yes, the cold never bothered him anyway...).

-- he had a pretty simple childhood, the only son of a single mother ( #doubleshifting ), growing up just a short walk from the lake --- wakeboarding in the summer and playing pond hockey in the winter. 

-- they weren’t a wealthy family, though not struggling mightily either. hockey was an expensive sport, though, and he played through his early days and partially through high school with second and third hand gear when possible.

-- early on, he learned being flexible, adaptable, and always having a good attitude was highly important ; his upbringing definitely had a large effect on that. once he turned 16, he picked up a gig as a waiter to earn some cash for himself. besides being able to scrape enough together to buy a nice new stick, it was certainly a character building experience.

-- architecture was something that felt natural to pursue. hockey wasn’t the end all, be all, though he hoped he would remain connected to the sport ( beyond beer league ) after his prime playing days ended. he had a certain knack for sketching and accurately capturing perspectives -- uncharacteristic maybe, but there all the same. he turned to architecture in the hopes of someday being able to design an nhl arena in the future.

-- cornell felt like a huge longshot : prestigious, ivy league, and terrifyingly expensive. it was his reach school ( st. cloud state was his fallback ), but seemed worth the risk. as luck would have it, cornell had it’s eye on someone on a rival team his high school team played in the state tournament at the end of his junior year, but in the particular game they visited, he caught their eye as well. that conversation afterward was a shock to him, the first time he considered possibly being good enough to make hockey more than just a fun pastime. from there, it seemed too good to be true : acceptance into cornell, a nice athletic scholarship, hockey on a d1 team. 

-- that summer, it was one of his days off from the restaurant and he was at a friend’s lakehouse watching the nhl draft with some friends. he was aware it was a very slim possibility ( and well, everyone who plays always hopes just a little right? ). so they had day two of the draft on in the background, while they were eating some freshly grilled burgers and drinking some not completely legally obtained beer and making plans to go out on the lake later. mar was on the couch cracking some joke when he saw his name on the tv : the fourth round, 95th overall to the vancouver canucks. he kinda stared at it not comprehending, and once he did, he stood up and told his friends they were going to the lake.

-- he’s tried not to let himself think to hard about the fact. the fourth round is a very long shot at best --- but it’s not impossible. he’s dutifully gone to development camp every summer since, but his focus has remained to his school and on his work.

-- he knows he has a choice to make at the end of this season : stay another year to finish college or take that next step forward. architecture is what he likes but hockey is what he loves, and maybe he didn’t really realize he might actually get a chance to live out his true nhl dream. he’s been trying not to focus on it. what he does know, is that this year or after he graduates he plans on signing with vancouver if they’ll still have him -- no matter what anyone tells him. they’re the ones that believed enough in him to draft him three years ago, and he feels a sense of loyalty to them for that.

MISC

-- he almost exclusively goes by ‘mar’. no one knows if it’s taken from his first or last name : it’s a left twix/right twix kinda debate. his teammates probably call him marsy or some shit like that.

-- 6′3″, 193 lbs

-- his wardrobe is pretty much all adidas pants, cornell hockey hoodies, t-shirts from various hockey tournaments, running races, and other misc things you get free t-shirts from. he also has a pretty big chunk of canucks related things from the three development camps he’s been to, but he doesn’t wear it too much because it feels a little like a brag to him sometimes.

-- he’s not that superstitious. he does have a routine before every game, but if things get messed up or done in the wrong order, it doesn’t phase him at all.

-- when he was accepted into cornell, he took some of his long-stashed savings to buy brand new bauer skates. it was the first time he’d ever had brand-new skates. they fittingly ended up having red accents. all his pads are still secondhand, though.

-- he has a small sketchbook. he’s constantly sketching buildings, usually in pen. when it’s nice out, you can find him on the quad drawing some campus building or another. he’s likely redesigned lynah rink like a hundred times already.

-- he prefers to be in the shadows rather than the limelight, and his style of play dictates that. he’s not a goal-scorer, not an offensive defenseman, and isn’t all the flashy. very much has a  “if no one notices me, then i’m doing my job”-type mentality, because he assumes if someone does it’s probably because he didn’t do enough to prevent a goal.

-- his reaction to being drafted is very On Brand : constantly brushing off things that are pretty momentous. it comes from a bit of a place of feeling like he’s not really worthy of praise. not that he doesn’t like praise, it’s just... it’s complicated ?.

-- very much a steadying force. knows when to laugh, when to be serious, how to just be a rock on the blue line and in the locker room. he tries not to let too much phase him or get to him either. sometimes people joke he would’ve made a good goalie because of it. ( he laughs because while he loves his goalies, they’re really a complete different breed ).

PERSONALITY

+ laidback, loyal - private, unforthcoming

mar is the kind of guy you want to be friends with. he laughs easily and has a certain friendliness about him. that being said, he has a way to make you feel like you know him but you really don’t. he’s a deeply private person and doesn’t freely disclose much of his close personal life : everything from his emotions, to the fact his wrist is bothering him, to any doubts he has. the frivolous things are given freely : weekend plans, parties, opinions. there’s no true reason for his private state, just that he feels it’s important to keep some things very close to your chest.

on the ice he’s far more imposing, unafraid to throw big hits or get in a scrum if he needs to. he’ll protect his goalie as well as his fellow teammates if the occasion arises.

THE AESTHETICS

SNOWFLAKES CLINGING TO HIS HOODIE AND HAIR...      not the type to wear a winter jacket even if the weather maybe calls for it. he loves when it snows and enjoys walking to class when it does so.

A SMILE LIKE A WARNING BEFORE EVERY HIT...      “ MARINO smiles before every hit in this thing so the other guy knows what’s coming. ” it’s no secret that mar is a physical presence on the ice ; not dirty, just physical. and he enjoys it.

( tw. kinda graphic injury?? ) GRUESOME SCARS YOU'VE LEARNED TO LOVE...           well... mar almost died when he was sixteen, in the middle of playing a tournament. someone crashed the net, he went down trying to defend it, and a skate slashed his neck. it’s a miracle it was a shallow cut --- a few millimeters more and his main artery would’ve been slashed. his souvenir from the incident is a three inch scar on his neck that starts near his adam’s apple and extends at a diagonal toward his right ear. it’s healed to look a bit like a rash or hickey.

ACCOLADES

RUNNER UP, ECAC DEFENSIVE DEFENSEMAN OF THE YEAR ( 2018-19 ) : given to the best defensive defenseman in the conference as voted by the coaches of each ECAC team.

NCAA (ECAC) ALL-ROOKIE TEAM ( 2017-18 )

95th OVERALL, 2017 NHL DRAFT ( vancouver canucks )

SCOUTING REPORT

MARINO provides a strong, physical and highly reliable defensive presence on the blue line. he is unafraid to block shots and sacrifice his body to do so. his skating ability, while not elite, is more than proficient and he can get significant speed when necessary. his is more likely to stand up to hits rather than evade them. MARINO exhibits exceptional passing ability; however, he could do well to improve his overall offensive capabilities and on-ice agility. regardless, his value on the penalty kill and ability to diffuse high danger situations from the opposing team must not be overlooked.

WANTED CONNECTIONS

-- i can see him being friends with whoever the student photographer is that captures the team. creative processes fascinate him.

-- close friend on the team: preferably another dman or goalie. why is this here. i should just send it into the main for the wc list huh.

i suck at coming up with these honestly, so i’m just going to go read intros and hopefully be inspired along the way.

[seoulscenarios]

Go on your own path, this is my lane

member: Lee Felix

word count: 3185

genre/warnings: action, fluff, a lil bit of angst

request: YES

summary: you and felix had never been the best of friends, in fact you were actually rivals in the local street racing business created by your father. but when an old threat comes back to haunt, how will the two of you react?

a/n: this is a PSA... i know literally nothing about street racing so any terms that are wrong or any inaccuracies are entirely my own!! nonetheless i hope you enjoy it :)

- “Y/N CROSSES THE LINE IN FIRST POSITION, THEIR 9TH CONSECUTIVE WIN IN THIS SEASON PLEASE JOIN US AGAIN NEXT WEEK FOR THE FINAL RACE, IT WILL BE A GOOD ONE”

- You hear the roar of the announcer on the megaphone as your tires screech up to the holding area

- You see the thing is, whilst most kids you went to kindergarten with are now in decent education, you were sucked into an almost fantastical, glamorous and oft times dangerous new life

- Your father built up a street racing empire in your district, building it from the bottom up to the sleazy, shady but big business it was today

- At first, you were reluctant to get involved but every day you spent in the garage, was a day you learnt new things and quite honestly, it was exhilarating being thrown around a modified car around a dusty abandoned race track

- Ever since your first ride with your father, you knew street racing was for you

- And since then, you began to start hanging round in the garages learning how to fix and modify cars and your older brother began to learn the business aspect of it all

- The day you won your first race when you were 15 was a day you would never forget, running into your fathers arms and feeling the bubble of pride he had for you

- It didn’t last long

- Not even a year after you began racing, your father passed away in an infamous car accident which still shook the community to this day

- It took you over a year to get behind the wheel again, and when you finally did, you were filled with a newfound fire that intimidated all your competitors

- You got better and better after each race, winning the majority of them and losing when you knew you had to (some betting or business related crap that your brother tried to explain to you but you never really got, business had never been your strong point)

- Whilst still a relatively secret thing, the racing community expanded into other districts and before long there were new faces cropping up at racing events

- Which to your surprise, a few kids your age popped up and began to challenge you

- One of which, is Felix

- The first time you met Felix was after a race in which he nearly beat you and he got really cocky that he nearly beat the famed Y/N

- You were very quick to knock him down and told him to beat you next time then he can get cocky

- After that, the two of you began this weird friendly rivalry that most outsiders (and your brother) think is flirting, even after you both vehemently deny it 

- You weren’t about to admit that you were flirting with the boy,,, heck you weren’t even friends

- You were eNeMiEs

- Not that you don’t find each other attractive,, the underlying rivalry is still more important and will always come first

- Felix is your number one fan when the two of you aren’t racing

- Sometimes he’s there with his crew who all look a bit put out that their star racer is only there to cheer on the “enemy”

- You find it endearing, and the rare time you weren’t racing but he was you always made sure to give him a secret smile before the race or wish him good luck

- Felix, though, has the most hideous racing car you’ve ever seen

- It was painted an awful shade of bright orange, with green and orange stripes on the doors and you were pretty sure there were pokemon stickers on (courtesy of his crew)

- What made it worse was the fact Felix had called the car “”Baby”

- Like, if someone bumped into it

- He would get very defensive and ask them to apologise to Baby

- You rolled your eyes every time you heard him talking to his car and most of the time Felix just shot you a massive grin

- ANYWAY

- The current “season” is about to peak in its most dangerous race yet

- Which you happen to be the forerunner to win

- It’s been designed by your brothers’ girlfriend who is notorious for keeping the track as difficult and kinda secretive during the actual design process

- Which meant only the most experienced drivers could go on to race as the details were kept so secretive that they were only going to be shown to the drivers on the day

- As this race is the most important race for prestige, many racers from different districts are coming to show off their prowess

- And one of them,,,, just happens to be your biggest competitor and one of the most notorious drivers out there

- No one knows him, only the fact he goes by XDJ and is rumoured to be part of a secret underground mafia group

- Which makes them DEADLY as you can’t trace them, you only know just how brutal he can be whilst racing

- Whilst no one can confirm, there have been numerous rumours that his group have cause a number of fatalities

- Nasty car crashes, tampering of vehicles, sometimes even drugs were involved

- No one could point it at them,,, but the rumours still stand

- This guy, he was dangerous and you could be in serious trouble

- Especially with how infamous you are as a driver and how interlinked your brother is with underground business deals

- Felix,,, is worried for you

- He wasn’t going to be racing, you had point blank refused to let him race after he asked

- Felix wasn’t happy about it and what’s even worse, he knew that you wouldn’t back out of the challenge especially after XDJ was announced to take part

- Rumour has it that it was his connections with the mafia that caused the car crash resulting in your fathers’ death

- So to say there was some tension in the air was an understatement

- However, you knew you were ready to take them on and if needs be,, take them out if the opportunity arises

- Sure you were hot headed and impatient sometimes but you knew how to keep cool and calm under pressure, even if you were about to go up against the guy who might’ve killed your father

- Despite you and Felix not being the best of friends, the week leading up to the final race Felix turned up to your garage and started to hang around with you

- Which confused you as well, this garage was a private garage and you’d never revealed the location to anyone outside of your immediate business (consisting of your brother, his girlfriend and his PA

- Felix just shrugged his shoulders when you asked him how he knew where it was and just handed you a coffee, which happened to be your favourite order

- You pieced it together, knowing your brother must’ve told him about it

- For what reason, you had yet to figure out but still it was nice to have company in your otherwise lonely garage

- As the week passes by, you and Felix fall into a routine and it’s kind of weird

- You’ve never really gelled with people due to your line of work and the fact you fell so easily into Felix’s companionship was a bit odd

- Not that you were complaining as Felix was so much fun to be around and pulled you out of your bad moods and never failed to brighten your day whenever he smiled or laughed

- Over the course of the week you began to notice how much he integrated himself into your life and just how much he did for you

- There was no more scrambling around to find tools or struggle to do a two-man job by yourself

- And you began to notice the other things he did, the way his nose scrunched up when he laughed and his eyes turned into crescent moons, or the way he couldn’t help but dance when a particularly good song came on the radio

- A week isn’t long enough to fall in love, but it’s long enough to know that these feelings aren’t entirely just friendship and you want to be the cause of his laughs or see if your hand fits in perfectly with his

- However, you try and shake these thoughts out of your head

- It’s not the right time for you to develop feelings for someone, the race is more important and if you’re not in the right mindset

- Then, you might be toast

- The way he integrated himself so easily into your life never occurred until the day right before the race and Felix was nowhere to be seen

- You’re a bit distracted and it made you realise that maybe you enjoyed his company more than you let yourself believe

- It’s not until evening breaks and you spot an obnoxious orange gleam poke its way into your garage

- You can’t help but roll your eyes because of course he’d bring “Baby” with him

- “So, you wanna drive aimlessly into the night and sing karaoke?”

- You’re not going to say no to that because quite frankly you needed the distraction

- Honestly the drive was just what you needed, Felix drove around the quiet streets and out into the deserted roads that lay just outside the district

- The windows were cranked down and you couldn’t help but laugh as Felix shoved his head out of the window to belt along with the music

- It was pure perfection for a few hours (even if you nearly got into a police chase because of Felix’s race car)

- Felix drops you off back at your apartment and walks you to the front door

- “This was...”

- “Thank you Felix, I didn’t realise how much I needed it”

- Whatever moment that could have happened was promptly ruined when the front door opened to reveal your older brother smirking at the two of you

- Felix promptly scurries off, but not before giving your hand a squeeze and telling you he would see you tomorrow

- You try and get to your room but not without your brother sending you various winks

- You just roll your eyes and slam your door before he can interrogate you further

- You flop into a bed, a small grin gracing your face

- (Definitely not thinking about how cute Felix’s freckles seemed to dance in the moonlight or his voice blending perfectly with the playlist he had made)

- Before you even realised, you were stood next to your car surrounded by swarms of people all wishing you good luck and telling you what bets have been made 

- It’s all white noise to you

- Nothing is going in and you’re trying not to freak out, especially when XDJ and his hoards of people turn up and flash you dirty looks

- You don’t even notice Felix turning up, a few of his friends in tow

- It’s not until you feel the warmth of a hand slipping into yours and squeezing it that you realise Felix even turned up despite his reassurances throughout the entire week

- You’re pretty sure he can hear your heartbeat and you’re not entirely sure whether it’s from nerves or Felix so casually holding your hand like he was always doing it but either way, it’s kind of soothing

- The announcer screams over the megaphone and before you could even say something to your brother or Felix, you’ve slipped behind the wheel and pulled up to the start line, a map provided by your brothers’ girlfriend in plain sight

- Out of the corner of your eye you can see your fiercest opponent pull up next to you and your demeanour changed

- You knew you had to win this race or else it would be the end of you and your brother’s business

- For the majority of the race, you remain calm and following the mysterious car

- You just want to keep an eye on the car, watching for suspicious movements and besides, you practically grew up in this kind of environment

- You knew what to do and for the most part, you’re relaxed and know the best course of action

- However, the trickiest part of the race is yet to come up that even you knew you had to focus on

- What you didn’t account for was the car you had been tailing to slip behind you and before you could even rectify your mistake, there’s a slam on the back of your car and you panic

- Sure, you had been in car crashes before but you knew the aftermath of the crashes that were cause by XDJ and you fly into a panic, trying to rectify the steering so you don’t fall into the side of the road or flip the car

- However, there’s only so much you can do and you feel another nudge on the back end and your car begins to tip and you realise it’s probably the end for you

- You lose complete control and the last thing you remember is the sound of tires squealing past and not one person stopping to help

- ....

- You slowly blink your eyes open, the bright white lights almost blinding you

- You thought that would be more pain, but maybe you’re just dosed up with painkillers you don’t notice the 

- Out of the corner of your eye you can see a glimpse of fabric, so turning your head slightly you try and figure out who it 

- You quickly figure out it’s not your brother and the only person you know with obnoxious orange hair is that it’s the owner of a certain obnoxious orange race car

- Felix

- Curled up on an uncomfortable hospital chair

- You giggle quietly to yourself because he looks quite cute, hair all fluffy

- But apparently not quietly enough and he’s suddenly leapt up onto the bed, holding your hand (which you realise your other hand is wrapped up in a cast?!)

- With his spare hand, he cups your face and looks deep into your eyes

- You can see a wave of emotions cross his face but the overbearing one seems to be relief

- A sudden feeling of apology washes over you and you try to get the words out but before you could Felix interrupts you

- “Don’t ever do that to me again, I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you”

- You’re not quite sure how to respond so naturally you just apologise

- “I’m sorry”

- “No, it’s my fault, I should’ve tried to persuaded you to be safe and maybe ever-“

- You’re the one interrupting now, knowing it’s not his fault that you’re currently in a hospital ward

- “it’s not your fault Felix, I wanted to race and I knew the consequences. Even if I didn’t want to end the night in hospital”

- “I couldn’t lose you, and im not sure your brother would want to lose you like how you lost.... your father”

- The mention of your father brings a painful lump to your throat and tears threaten to spill, but you quickly shake it off and squeeze Felix’s hand tighter

- “Well... i’m still alive and I don’t plan on leaving either of you yet”

- The two of you sit in silence for a few moments before your doctor makes herself know

- She rattle off a list of injuries, none of which you take in but you gathered the main points and the fact that actually, you were in a lot of pain

- You don’t remember the exact details but you end up being discharged and bundled up into a sleek black car that suspiciously looked like your brothers but you don’t say anything as Felix drives the familiar route back to your home

- The whole trip is a bit hazy, probably due to the amount of painkillers in your system but you’re suddenly enveloped by the warm and familiar arms of your brother and you can’t help but let the tears fall

- He pulls back, wiping your tears gently and directing you to the sofa in your lounge

- Felix is already there and his hand slips back into yours as your brother details the exact aftermath of your crash

- Bits of it goes in but most of it passes over your head and your brother realises, and he drops a kiss to the top of you head and tells you he’s got business to attend but Felix is more than welcome to stay

- You don’t see it but your brother sends a wink to Felix who blushes up from his neck to the roots of his hair

- The two of you sit in comfortable silence, hands still interlinked

- You don’t know whether to bring up what he said at the hospital or just leave it when his voice cuts across the silence

- “So, the this is- you know how we weren’t even friends? But then, you know, we were? Are? So... what if I don’t want to be friends anymore? Not that I want to go back to hating you, more like... I want to start... dating you?”

- Of all the things for Felix to say to you, you sure as hell weren’t expecting a full on confession after such a traumatic event

- Quite frankly, you’re sat there looking like a guppy fish all wide eyes and slack jawed and you can’t even formulate a response before Felix cuts in again

- “if I kissed you right now, would you punch me. Because I really want to kiss you, just not if you’re gonna punch me”

- “Felix, I have a broken wrist, I physically cant” you respond snarky, waving your casted fist at him but squeezing your hand that’s interlocked with his

- “But, you’re other wrist is free I don’t see why you can’t punch me with tha-“

- You just roll your eyes, something that seems to be a constant mood with this boy, and plant a kiss square on his lips

- He takes a moment to respond, but when he does you know that this is what you wanted

- His lips are soft and fit perfectly against yours and you can feel the overwhelming smile he has dancing about his lips and you have to break apart because his smile is just so beautiful and distracting you just want to look at him

- Felix pulls you closer to him and your head rests on his shoulder, giggling

- “So, are we officially dating?”

- “yeah”

- “cool”

- “cool”

sorry for such a lame ending but like i said i know NOTHING about street racing lmao aksjdf

as always i hope you are happy, healthy and hydrated and another friendly reminder: REQUESTS ARE OPEN so feel free to send in whatever requests you have !!! 

love, admin Leigh <3

(p.s. gold stars for anyone who can figure out who XDJ is!!)

[21stcenturymen]

Women Do Not Want to Be Raped

RATING: Mature

I want to be clear about this week’s rating. The content I’m going to reference is the worst kind of hateful misinformation, and it’s not healthy for… really, anyone to be exposed to. That said, the post itself is only mildly “mature” in content. I want men in particular to read all the way to the end, but for anyone who’s been victimized by men who spew hateful, misogynist rhetoric, this post may not be for you.

I’m going to begin by discussing the man who essentially started the “Red Pill” movement. It would be easy to call folks like Robert Fisher “garbage” or “toxic” or any of those epithets for people we wish we could block from taking up space in our minds. But there’s so much more to this than the quality of person he is. Robert Fisher is a symptom, not a cause. His belief - that women want to be raped or that there’s some magic potion (e.g. the red pill) that would make everyone see that subservience to cis-men is the right and just state of being for humanity - didn’t begin with him. It began ages ago, and for who knows what reason.

Perhaps somewhere in prehistory a dude realized that men couldn’t give birth and insisted on holding women accountable for all of humanity’s flaws to make up for it. It’s likely this jealousy is part of why Abrahamic religions latch onto the Eve story: women suffer childbirth because Eve was foolish and took the apple from the serpent. But let’s be real, here. That’s bullshit. That story was passed down through oral tradition as an allegory for having faith in the design of a creator, and inked into permanence as Eve’s sin (as opposed to Adam’s) to ensure we blame women specifically instead of just the poor schmuck who happened to be tempted first. If it’s an allegory for lacking faith, it shouldn’t matter who sinned. But as it’s clearly a tool for creating subservience, the choice of Eve as the sinner is no mistake.*

Fast forward a few millennia, and we have Return of Kings, The Spearhead (thankfully, now defunct), A Voice For Men (‘cause we’re lacking, apparently), The Red Pill, and a host of other cellar-dwelling sites that cater to our basest fears of inadequacy. If we can’t succeed with women, it’s clearly their fault, and these sites will not only tell us why, but arm us with all the tools we need to win** every internet debate about gender rights. I’m going to tell you right now, they’re wrong.

Shocking, right? Yeah, this isn’t one of those “I see where they’re coming from, but…” types of situations. These guys are wrong. Their hypotheses are flawed, their arguments contradictory, and their evidence not only lacking, but completely fabricated. It requires an advanced course in cognitive dissonance to even comprehend how these guys hold the competing thoughts they do. While I wish to encourage debate, free thought, and compassionate discourse, I will hold no quarter for out-and-out lies, distortions, and self pitying slander of half the human race. The men who run these sites are sad, pathetic men. And here’s what they do.

Men like Paul Elam take their own failings, fears, and inadequacies, align them with those of other men, and package and sell a solution - of sorts. Elam coined his ex’s dislike of him “misandry” and packaged it as an explanation for any time a woman doesn’t do whatever the hell he wants. And that’s easy, right? We take our own failings and blame them on other people as a quick way to feel better about ourselves. But it’s not a permanent one.

As a metaphor: When you want to build a house on an already-developed plot, you don’t just start building on the ruins of the previous structure, do you? Of course not. That’d be a surefire way to collapse your new structure. Elam, Fisher, and the soon-to-be-discussed Roy Den Hollander would tell you otherwise, though. You just blame your neighbors for not care-taking land they didn’t own, build on top of the ruins, and keep piling on junk until there’s the appearance of something stable. This is true both of their paper-thin arguments and their personal lives.

Admitting you’re wrong and seeking to change is the moment when you clear off the junk and fix the foundation. It sucks. Personal growth is hard and sad and disappointing at times, but the long-term result is much more structurally sound. These men sell ideas and prop up their personal lives with garbage, and it shows.

Roy Den Hollander has filed federal lawsuits over such things as NYC “Ladies Nights” and forcing women to register for the draft. He continually has his suits thrown out due to a complete lack of legal footing, and the fact the courts consistently determine he’s basing the suits on his own personal preferences. Elam started A Voice For Men as a way to pile vitriol on top of his own failings, and Fisher started the Red Pill as a way to push his completely fictional agenda for subjugating women.

They preach hate as a salve for self doubt, and for a painfully vocal number of men, it’s quite appealing. This hate is rooted in fear. The fear of being bad, of being “less than,” of not meeting the desires of others. We turn fear around as loathing of those who might reject us. This is a self defense mechanism, and a very poor one, because we just keep heaping that shit on top of an already dysfunctional foundation.

And there's a difference between playing on fears and discussing subject matter that makes people afraid. For example, when CNN, NPR, or Al Jazeera talk about the U.S. President threatening nuclear holocaust on North Korea, that's not "playing on people's fears." Though there are certainly sensationalistic ways to present it, the information itself isn't playing on pre-existing fears. There's a narcissistic, ignorant man with access to the nuclear football. As a human who enjoys existing on this planet, you should be afraid of that.

When I say "playing on fears" in reference to sites like Return of Kings and the others, I'm talking about creating news and sensation out of things you were already afraid of. Everyone is afraid of losing their job. Everyone is afraid of being emasculated and made to be subservient when we haven't given consent to do so. Everyone is afraid of feeling "less than." So, in come these hate sites, knowing you're afraid of those things, and whether your fear is legitimate or not, they already know who to blame. Convenient, isn't it?

Women taking over society isn't real, and it couldn't be even if they wanted to. And here, for the first and only time, are you allowed to compare feminists to Nazis, because if actual fucking Nazis couldn't take over the world, do you really think women or people of color who want the right to vote without being intimidated are going to accomplish what the Third Reich couldn't? And with far fewer firearms? Because, let’s face it, white men own more firearms than anyone else. Supposedly to protect themselves from… something? Trust me. Feminists, LGBTQIA folks, and people of color are not attempting to take over anything except their own peace of mind and personal safety.

Where these sites want you to take stock of all your faults, all your frailties, and all your fears, and lay the blame at women as if it's common sense to do so, I want you to use actual common sense and say, "Yeah, that's ridiculous. A forced takeover of half the planet's population is super unlikely, so I should get back to managing my own damn life."

PURPOSE: Take responsibility for your fears and failings. If you think someone’s going to ‘take something away’ from you, odds are you just fear that and the threat isn’t real. Don’t lash out in search of conflict where there isn’t any. Keep your own house in order. In fact, knock it down and fix the foundation and remember that’s your task to undertake. No one else’s.

Learn to spot bullshit. When you see news, or websites, or resources that identify a specific cause of an issue (a corporation that pollutes a reservoir or a jerk who defrauds investors and takes advantage of sick people) and they have legitimate sources to cover their asses? You can probably trust them, but always keep a watchful eye. When you see links and content that blame entire groups of people (Like FOX news blaming Muslims in general for violence or any of the sites above blaming women for… really anything) don’t just turn it down. Turn it off. Familiarize yourself with bullshit enough to spot it and refuse to give it your time or attention.

Women do not want to be raped, and if you have a friend who starts quoting Robert Fisher, Roy Den Hollander, Paul Elam, or any of their hateful acolytes saying women do want to be raped, call them out. Tell them they’re quoting hate mongers. Tell them they’re seeking to avoid blame for their own feelings of inadequacy. Tell them they’re on a dangerous slope toward true emotional annihilation and alienation. Tell them you smell their bullshit and you won’t stand for it.

Next Up: Misdirected Rage

*I’m aware most established religions and denominations of Christianity in general try to shy away from blaming Eve specifically. If your church is referring to this story as gender neutral, awesome! I understand not all believers are cut from the same cloth. This is about the many denominations and sects of the Abrahamic religions who do choose to subjugate women and use Eve as one of the many reasons why. Also, it’s just an example. Try not to get too hung up on literality.

**Does anyone ever really “win” an internet debate?

[moneyscrapbook]

How To Save Money And Not Spend It (10 Simple Tips)

Do you struggle to save money and not spend it?

You’re not alone.

I spent years tapping into savings and stealing from my own financial future. In fact, at times, the only reason I would put money into savings, was to build up enough cash to make my next big purchase. So, in other words, I can relate.

But if you want to build wealth–and escape the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle–you need to break the habit of dipping into your savings. The good news is, if I can do it, anybody can.

All it takes is a little bit of discipline (provided by you), and a few helpful tips (provided by me).

Let’s get to it.

Do A Budgeting Checkup

I’m a strong believer that getting on a budget is the first step to financial freedom. Additionally, going forward, it should be the starting point for every financial decision you make.

But, if you constantly find yourself running low on funds and dipping into savings, it is likely just a symptom of an inaccurate, or mis-aligned budget.

So, in an effort to protect your savings, let’s do a quick 3-step budgeting check-up.

#1 – Assess Your Expenses

If you’re constantly pulling money from savings, one of two things is happening. Either you are spending too much money, or you aren’t budgeting enough for expenses in the first place.

So, lay out every one of your expenses for the last month, and be honest about which ones are necessary, and which ones are frivolous. If there aren’t many frivolous expenses, you may just need to adjust your budget. If there are, you probably need to address your spending habits.

#2 – Repair The Leaks

Every budget is bound to spring a few leaks now and again. But even small leaks can lead to disaster. So, it’s time to repair them.

What is a budgeting leak? A budgeting leak is any monthly expense that is small enough to be overlooked, but consistent enough to cause you to spend beyond your budget. Most commonly, budgeting leaks manifest in the form of food spending, subscriptions, or retail shopping.

For instance, almost every time I start to spend beyond my budget, I can relate it back to a series of $7 Chipotle burritos. Individually, they don’t seem like a problem, but over the course of a month, they can drain my budget. (I’m sad even writing that)

So, what’s your leak?

Are there any small, consistent expenses you can reduce or eliminate that will keep you from going over-budget and dipping into savings? Comment below and let us know.

#3 – Be Realistic

If a married couple with five children told you they set their grocery budget at $100 per month, you would probably laugh at them. But if you constantly find yourself pulling money out of savings, you might be doing the same thing; just on a less obvious scale.

There’s no use putting $100 into savings each month if you’re just going to have to pull it out to pay for the same reason you do every single month.

The reality is that you might just need to add $100 to that category of your budget.

Segment Your Savings

There are many different reasons to save money, yet most people only have one savings account. The problem with this, is that any expense, over and above your normal monthly budget has to come out of one big pile of money, which doesn’t feel good.

Just like every other expense in your budget, every dollar you put into savings should have a purpose. Are you saving for car maintenance? Are you saving for Christmas? Are you saving for a vacation? Then, separate your savings into different accounts that each exist to serve a defined purpose.

These accounts can be broken down into two categories: your emergency fund, and sinking funds.

Emergency Fund

If you don’t have an emergency fund, building one should be your number one savings priority. Like the name suggests, this fund should sit around, waiting to protect your financial life from emergencies. But let’s clear something up, a flash sale at your favorite retail store, is not an emergency.

We’re talking about true emergencies like: unexpected medical expenses, sudden job loss, or buying a new furnace in the dead of winter when your current one stops working.

So how big should your emergency fund be? You should have a minimum of 3-6 months worth of living expenses in your emergency fund. That means that if your monthly cost of living is $2,500, your emergency fund should hold between $7,500 and $15,000.

Sinking Funds

Sinking funds are essentially savings funds for predictable or inevitable expenses in life.

For example, you should have an automotive sinking fund. Why? Because car expenses, while inconsistent, are inevitable. Every car needs repairing at some point, so you should be setting money aside each month to prepare for them.

Another great example is a Christmas sinking fund. Every December you can count on the fact that you will need to buy a bunch of gifts for the people in your life. So, you should prepare your finances by putting a little money into a Christmas fund each month.

The added benefit of sinking funds, is that as long as you use the money in a sinking fund for its designated purpose, you don’t have to feel bad about dipping into it. Just don’t go buy a pair of shoes with money from your family’s vacation sinking fund. That’s not cool. (Actually come to think of it, you could set up a sinking fund for shoes, and use that money.) Sinking funds are cool!

Isolate Your Emergency Fund

In order to protect your emergency fund, you should isolate it as soon as possible. In other words, move your emergency fund to a completely different bank.

It’s important that this money remains out of sight, so that you aren’t tempted to tap into it every time you log in to your bank account.

It’s also a good idea to move your money into an account with restricted access, or penalties for withdrawing money. Let me put it this way, it’s better to be penalized $30 for withdrawing money in a real emergency than to consistently dip into savings each month, penalty free.

Stop Over-Saving

If you don’t have a spending problem, yet still find yourself dipping into savings, you might actually be trying to over-save. What? Is that even possible?

Yes.

Often times, we get so focused on our financial goals, that we abandon the reality of our income. Simply put, saving beyond your ability doesn’t work.

In other words, if you make $5,000 per month, and your living expenses are $3,000, you can’t put $2,500 into savings each month. Math is math. There’s no getting around it.

If you struggle to save money and not spend it, take a deeper look and make sure you aren’t trying to over-save.

Simplify Your Spending

One of the easiest ways to complicate your financial situation, is to spend money from multiple accounts. So, instead, we recommend using your debit card for every single purchase.

When you only have to log into one account to track your spending, everything becomes much simpler. Fewer dollars slip through the cracks, and in turn, you won’t have to dip into savings to make ends meet.

I know this idea goes against the grain of society these days, but I can honestly tell you that this has been a game changer for my wife and I. Now, either one of us can log into our bank account at any one time and update our budget without missing a single cent.

I’m telling you, it works, and it will protect your savings.

What’s the purpose for your savings?

Why?

Because, without any inspiring financial goals that you’re working hard to achieve, you are much more likely to dip into your savings. In other words, you need a more compelling reason to leave your savings alone, than your reason to spend your savings.

So, if you don’t have any financial goals, set some. And if you have lost sight of your goals, recommit to them. Otherwise, your savings account is in danger, and your financial future is at risk.

Set Up Financial Guardrails

One of the best things you can do if you want to save money and not spend it, is to build some guardrails into your financial life.

But what are financial guardrails? Financial guardrails are protective measures you put in place to stop yourself from making a bad financial decision in the future. For instance, if you want to avoid debt, cutting up your credit cards could act as your guardrail. Or, if you want to save money and not spend it, you could move your savings account to a different bank.

The purpose of a financial guardrail is to add resistance or difficulty to a bad financial decision, long before you make it.

Implement Some Accountability

If you’ve ever had a good workout partner, you’ve experienced the power of accountability. Whether they helped you get your butt out of bed and into the gym every morning, or encouraged you to push through those few extra reps, a little bit of accountability can carry a lot of influence.

Yet, when it comes to personal finance, we tend to keep everything very private. And therefore, we don’t have anyone to hold us accountable.

Thus, if you want to save money and not spend it, find yourself a financial accountability partner.

Just to be clear, I’m not saying you should announce your financial situation to the world through social media, or even tell your 5 closest friends. No, I’m saying you should find one extremely trustworthy friend or family member to become your financial fitness partner.

Together, you can hold each other accountable, encourage one another, and whip your finances into shape.

Change Your Mindset

One of the most difficult things about budgeting, and personal finance as a whole, is feeling like you’re always playing financial defense. Whether you’re cutting your budget, spending less, or trying to save money and not spend it, the defensive mindset can become a burden. And honestly, it sucks.

The good news is that a simple shift in your mindset can change everything! It’s time to start playing offense.

For instance, every time you feel like pulling money from savings, instead, force yourself to go earn the extra money you need.

Instead of ‘cutting your spending’, think of it as ‘fueling your financial goals’.

And, in place of, “I need to spend less money,” say “I’m going to save more money this month than I ever have.”

Stop playing defense, and shift your mindset. Attack your finances, and show your money who’s boss.

“Never give up! Never surrender!” –Jason Nesmith

Consider The Repercussions

Everything you do in your financial life has long term consequences, and pulling money from savings or investments is no exception. What seems like a small, insignificant decision now, will carry lasting repercussions.

For example, did you know that if you put $100 into a mutual fund–that earns an average of 10% per year–and let it sit for 40 years, it will grow to over $5,000?

So, essentially, every time you pull $100 from savings, you could be costing yourself $5,000 in retirement. The worst part is, 40 years from now you probably won’t even remember why you pulled that money out of savings.

Translation: stop dipping into your savings and spending it. You are draining more money than you know from your ultimate financial dreams.

Final Thoughts

If you struggle to save money and not spend it, you might just need a new strategy. Whether you need to adjust your budget, find an accountability partner, or start playing financial offense, the tips in this article can help you protect your savings.

[morningmoon]

Overall thoughts of Arc V

posted on NAC, figured i might as well share it here too. It’s a long one.

Setting Maiami City is great. The first we see of it is a modern and post-contemporary design to the city, there's a lot of commercialism on display taking iconic imagery of YGO and plastering it as billboards. You Show and Yuya's house are shown to be pretty unique in their architecture, but still very grounded in reality. It's a world that's probably not more than ten years ahead of us; it's a mayor city but with a very nice housing region. As the first season goes on, we see more of it, we see how important and varied the schools are, we see the not-so-pretty parts of the city. There's just enough depth to Maiami to feel more alive than even Neo Domino did. Then we leave it. The City is up next, and it's just a more surface level approach to Neo Domino. There's the shit part of the city and floating shit that's fancy. Before we can really dig into the latter, we're stuck in the former, then a prison and the rest of the season is the same hotel, racetrack stadium and a bit of the Duel Lanes before going back to the same shit parts. Oh and the trash mines. While 5D's included early on how the trash stuff works and how it's an insane way to fight your way to the nice part of the city, AV's just has this stark contrast that doesn't feel truly connected. If you walk long enough in a direction, you'll reach a nice part of town apparently. The mines and the prison exist, but you can't really pin their location or anything. They're stark contrasts that do not feel connected beyond lore. Heartland... is just some bits of ZX's heartland, but in ruins. There isn't much to the setting at all. Fusion has that sorta venice place we see for a couple of eps and then we go to Academia, which is just a series of corridors with 4 rooms. It doesn't feel real, there's a courtyard but I have no idea how you reach it beyond "go to a corridor and eventually it'll connect" Yuya going Odd Eyes Raeg happens in a room that I cannot fathom where it is compared to Leo's place because it's so hightech it should either be right next to it or buried underground, but the show just has it nebulously inside of academia.It's disappointing. We start with a strong location, a strong setting, and then we ditch it for the next and the next and the next and each is shallower than the last one. Duels You know me. Y'all know my shallow ass don't really care for the yugiohs. Hand me a Yuma vs Gauche once or twice a cour and i'm good. I'll meme that YGO was better when it was about zombire and paint mazes. Arc V promised me something that made me want to care even in my shallow level: Dynamic Duels. The premise of 5D's bought me over when I saw the first riding duel moving all over the streets into an abandoned factory and maneuvering crazy locations a bike shouldn't be able to do. Arc-V then promised me that mobility would be even more important because it's not rigid bikes, it's fluid monsters, able to chance the monster you're riding on the fly and interact with them. All for a goal that is a buff during the duel. You bet your ass I got hype when Yuya got on a pink hippo in that first PV. ACTION FIELD MAGIC CROSS OVER. FUCK. Dynamic places became less common during the first season, but they were still a thing! There were at least entirely different fields in every duel. Then came in Riding Duels and my god. MY GOD. Yugo suddenly makes me nostalgia hard for 5D's, he goes so many places, the scenery changes so much, the time of day the state of the city, it's so beautiful. Cross Over. Duel on the stadium. crossover accel. cross over cross over cross over. fuck. The duels lose intensity as it goes on, they often become duels of two duelists standing in places as if it was DMGXZX and every now and then Yuya will jump and run to get a card. Cross Over Accel usually involves picking up a card from the floor and every other duel will have a sick bike stunt. But yeah, for the most part, the concept's just burnt and interesting navigation is pretty much gone. Yuya is so tied to this. The ultimate thing of the show, is that entertainment is the greatest power, but Yuya can't muster the confidence to use it. Therefore, his duels are directly tied to his state of mind. Is he egaoing? then maybe there'll be some dynamic movements or, if we're lucky and it's a blue moon, Yuya will setup a big set piece act where the game straight up changes to let a big fun and dynamic moment happen. But if Egao is what solves everything, then your main character can't be holding that power, ergo, Yuya's duels have to be gimped most of the time, so stand over there like it's Gx, Yuya, but with less varied fields.It was just so promising, that duels would be a spectacle. But gameplay wise that deteriorated rather fast, with spectacle it got nearly dropped after year 1 and it's ultimately tied to Yuya believing in himself, which is the thing he struggles with the most. Themes and Message I love egao. The idea that smiles make the world better is great. If you are positive and you can pass that positiveness to others then you are improving the world. To look at all the issues around you and decide you can tackle them while also keeping a smile is a noble thing, I love heroes that can stay positive through adversity. A lot of people take issue with Yuya "forcing this down people's throats", but to me the problem is that Yuya needs it fored down his own throat. He's got some doubts here and there in Standard, then in Synchro it is offered that, much like Kattobing with Yuma early on, Yuya doesn't actually know what it means to bring smiles to people: he's parroting his dad and acting as he did. This breaks Yuya hard and he goes back and forth during the rest of the season until he gets a rematch with Jack and shows his answer... is that he believes in his dad, but will also throw in the dimension dragons. uh. Before that point there's stuff like Kachidoki shaking his resolve, and after that there's stuff like Yuto taking over so he cannot use smiles. There's stuff like getting so pissed he can't even think of using it against BB until JACK points it out. There's the fight against the mind control bugs and facing Yuri. And then the final act is him trusting himself all over again. Yuya Sakaki is smiles. If he is not believing at 100% then that's that. There are only, like, four other characters that implement that mentality into their duels. It sucks because it is explicitly shown time and time again to be the answer to the show's conflicts. A whole city is turned, Kachidoki gets happy and stops punching dicks, Yuya becomes more capable, Heartland is brave and starts dueling again. But it's so strong, Yuya cannot be allowed to use it or else show ends too soon. Other characters can't use it or the show ends too soon. To duel for smiles is to have a golden gun. It becomes more and more insane an OP until it reaches a climax: You Cannot Use Smiles On Zarc Because That Would End The Show Too Early. The dragon king is defeated, but not really because the blatant message wasn't used on him. Individualism beat him, but egao will Really beat him. Egao OP pls nerf so it can be a presence in the show. Then there's individuals vs groups. I also dig this a lot, and we see it far more consistently. Yuya gets laughed at by society itself bc daddy. His first foe is an opinion leader. His dad is looked upon fondly not for being a pro duelist, but for being a pioneer.  A big, strong corporation is trying to take over You Show, the smaller school run by a single guy. Yuzu realizes her dad, a teacher, is not enough for her to learn what she needs so she seeks out a tutor who is shown to be a bit of a rebel. Yuya duels wacky schools. After Yuto becomes egao.wav, Yuya's first foe is a guy who got messed up by the institution he's at. Obelisk Force are goons running the same deck, trained to be little more than soldiers with their individuality stripped away. Yuya's pushed forward to continue being a pioneer even when pendulums become normalized. Synchro Year is all about big capitalistic society fucking over the poor. Prison, the defense force and the government are all evil and abuse their powers. Roger is shown to have power but overestimates his own intelligence. Serena, in this time, gets pointed out that her dueling is too by the books and Yugo's unique style can trample her so she needs to adapt and be herself. Reira gets a donut by Shinji, so she doesn't want to blast him, she's starting to not become a child soldier. Jack's entire thing is that he himself crawled out of his hell life. Academia is up next, and, yeah, more of what you'd expect: school's evil, society supports it, individuals have to escape it and form their own place to survive. BB, much like Kachidoki, is ruined by his own school. Doktor creates parasites that strip people from their free will. And finally, we are told via ham-hands that Zarc was made who he was because Society demanded more violence. oh my god. Oh and Ed and the others also escape the school's mentality. It's a neat message, the bit with Zarc is just. It's thematic, it doesn't substitute showing the character and explaining the escalation. But then in Synchro Year there's that bit where Yuya gets the egao gun and destroys the societal norms of Neo Domino 2 in one blast and now everything's better. Kachidoki is back and saved, but like, what does that mean? did he bail out of the physical abuse school his parents put him in?? The conflict is rich and interesting, and yet the payoff is so sudden, escalated beyond belief and never explored. Another bit is what the show actually tells us "take a step forward with courage" or something. Pioneering goes with that, Yusho and Yuya start something new and it can't end there, those two have to keep evolving and lead the way. That message then ties into the war conflict in a cool way, to keep moving forward and not wallow in the past. Academia may have destroyed Heartland, but Shun and Yuto are objectively in the wrong for trying to use violence to get revenge. Leo is later on shown to be bad, not because he committed war crimes (those are retroactively forgiven) but because he is doing all of this to get his daughter back, when that will only tarnish her efforts and legacy, thus bringing Zarc back. Yugo & Shun Vs The Molesting Bugs From Out Of Gx has Yugo staying in the past and only remembering the Rin he loved while Shun remembered Ruri but then pushed forward and claimed how he's changed since. Yuya keeping with his dad's style and not fighting with his own is also a way of this. Every member of the resistance is shown with this problem, every left-party member of Synchro is also basically mourning themselves instead of trying to push forward if you're viewing the show in right-wing eyes I guess. Yuya being sad for pasts mistakes is shown 100% to be bad and he should continue moving forward to solve the issues. It sometimes feels gross because the groups are evil, but only Roger gets comeuppance. Leo caused war crimes, but he's a tragic hero, Zarc is a demon but he's a tragic figure. Meanwhile Shun and the resistance lost it all, Shinji lives in an unfair world and they are presented much more palpably as in the wrong because they are fighting with violence. The makers of war are never punished.The messages are all very, very interesting... but they tie kinda badly to the plot. It basically turns smiles from a philosophy that empowers Yuya and saves people from spiraling into drones of society or revenge hunters, to a golden gun that kills society and sedates the lust for revenge. Villains Now here's Real Problems. The show mismanages its villain cast. You have Himika, basically leader of LDS and actively running a child soldier program and... eventually she's very sad for Reira and turns into a motherly figure. You have Kachidoki, who is the first to awaken the second level of Zarc in Yuya and... he leaves the story for almost two years, only to get a quick defeat so Yuya can have a win. LDS Trio, rival our main trio and have some deep personal beef with Shun, a new comrade to said trio... they never show up again. Shinji argues with Yuya for a bit and is gone forever. Roger is let to sit far and above everyone else, he gets his butt kicked by Reiji and is gone forever. Barret fleshes out Academia, could possibly be an anti-hero fighting for Serena and then he is gone forever before we knew him. Anyone else from Synchro just doesn't show up for the last third. We are introduced to Grace, Gloria, Ed and Kite and they all turn to Yuya's side at the same time in the one-cour half-arc. We finally reach Academia... there is BB, a one-and-done villain for five eps straight. There's bugs that have a loose thematic connection and are gone forever. There is Doktor who only did that bug shit before being banished. There's Yuri with the better killstreak and then there is Leo who is shown to have only been acting out of love, and has enough honor to remove Doktor's facehole. There are all these villains.. and their role is minimum or they are so far from the heroes they don't get to actually Do much before their upcoming defeats present them as weak-willed all along. Then we have fucking Zarc. Hitotsu Ni and all them memes. Basically He's a dragon dick. All along everything was his plan bwahaha except he couldn't see the individuality theme hitting so hard via Reira and Yuya teaming up with Ray. But who is Zarc? ... anyway, Zarc's duel is the biggest in the show (wait, is it? did it have more eps than BB?) but ho boy ho boy. His duel is shite. He just sits three 2v1s in a row without taking any form of damage, then slowly loses enough composure for an admittedly cool finisher, but, just. Eh. He encompasses the show's themes of individuality vs group via the group forcing him down a path of evil. He wallows in his past and his attempt to move forward via the creation of Pendulum and manipulation of his parts puts him in the same  shoes that society had back when he turned evil. Then he saw the value of true smiles while inside of a baby. The problem here is... we never saw the individual crumble. Zarc's biggest failure as a villain is, well, the duel actually, it's just terrible, but his other failure is that we don't see enough of him. He's a thematic concept, but a linchpin of it is him as an individual losing himself for the sake of entertainment. We never see who he was, which worked when he was in a rampage so we'd see him as a monster, but once Yuya is crying at hsi backstory, well, it just feels trite and lame. We cannot feel bad for Zarc, we never knew him, he might've been a huge asshole and that's why things escalated.A big problem with the show is its use of villains. There's just two types, the ones that get disposed of ridiculously quick and the ones that are master planners so far above the cast that they hardly actually interact (or even act) in the story, and whose defeats just end up as underwhelming. There's outliers here and there, but they're not interesting either and ultimately any payoff from the conflict they bring is either too small or not interesting enough. Zarc, the final villain, suffers from all those issues. Characters Reira is god-tier. She begins shy and meek, we instantly assume she is a Mokuba. She gets a few duels here and there but we don't see them, so she's a dueling Mokuba that's strong bc her bro's the strongest. There's something offputting of her, but we just don't see her enough. Then we enter Synchro and she's away from Reiji, she is panicking, stressed and quiet. Shinji gives her a donut and that seems okay, kids like sweets. Then comes Yuya thinking of defending her and the big stuff drops: a) she's not afraid of dueling, she's afraid of having to harm others with duels and thus doesn't want to decimate Shinji and put him in the apple factory. b) legit child soldier shit. JACK offers her advice because he sees his own sadness from when he was a child, Yuya also saw that in her, but ultimately Reiji is right: it's not pity what she needs, it's a drive to make her own choices. It's why not wanting to fight Shinji is so big. The show keeps going, and next she goes further and acts to Defend Serena, she helps her friends now via dueling, fighting her PTSD and it culminates in the last bit to her wanting to save everyone that she's willing to sacrifice herself to get Ray involved, even when her brother tells her that would not work. And she does, and at that point we get her maximum Individuality moment: she defied Reiji by bringing Ray, and she defies us by defining herself as a woman. "Fuck all of you, even the viewers, this is who I am" and she stands tall, she gives one last sacrifice because not even Ray is good enough and she seals Zarc away herself. Fucking badass. And her reward is just being a baby. It's interesting in that it means she will not have the traumatic past anymore, but it also seemingly means that Zarc will always be with her now and that the Reira we knew simply ceases to exist forever. For the character that I rooted on the most, that sucks, i want the characters I like to be happy and exist! Still, her journey is easily the best in the show. JACK ATLAS fits this show like a glove. "It doesn't matter how bad Arc V or 5D's get, JACK ATLAS will always be a good character." Him as King puts an interesting pressure, he pushes characters in interesting ways and is ultimately just an entertaining and good addition. Hiragi Yuzu, well, she was really good that first year! Her arc was great, how she knew more of Academia leading into her interactions with Serena, which ultimately motivate Serena, are pretty great. Her time with Yugo's fun, her role in the tournament is great. It is gross that she was a flagpole for Yuya to reach and kept being yanked away over and over again. After that beautiful motorcycle parry, she just feels wasted, and before that her interactions with the cast were direly limited. Serena was interesting, she only really existed for One season, but her role and relationship with the Lancers was fun while it lasted. I really wish they'd explored her dueling more. Ruri and Rin were waifus. Welp. Rest of the cast, just likeable, not used well enough, Gongenzaka hilariously has an ED where he is one of 3 characters on screen and during that ED's run he shows up less than ten times to interact with Yuya. Sawatari is my man, but yup, not much for him. Shun has an alright arc, not much feeling for him. His end is bonkers. Kite, Ed and Asuka just feel tacked on. They don't offer stuff that only they could, in fact you can fancast many other characters to fit their roles better, I personally would go with Shark, Misawa and Tyranno (maybe Asuka over Tyranno). Ed's duel with Yuya was pretty amazing, tho and I love it, but again, just feeling like you coulda slapped other characters in to better fit the roles they play out in AV. Yuri, he's a fun villain. I went on about the use of villains and why his Pro MLG Killstreak is kinda bad, but he was fun during it. The structure deck stuff was great. His finality is... "we don't have time, or ideas, to make him turn to good. Uhh, shonen shonen shonen, thematic thematic and shonen tropes." He just happened. Yugo, one of my boys. Love his fun attitude, love his blatant crush, his gags are great, he's just overall fun but it didn't feel like they went deep enough for him, specially with how the bug stuff ended. Yuto. That kid is a mess. There's a fairly easy to follow line for his attitude, but he switches as hard as Yuya does from egao, but whenever he is Actually Showing Up, he instantly does a switch in alignment. He doesn't feel consistent. He's messed up and actively ignores all his relationships except the one time he told Shun to trust Yuya. I feel there's an interesting, cowardly, character in there that we just don't get to see because he's more of a crutch to guide Yuya's hips over how his alignment shoul be in the current part of the story. Sakaki Yuya. Wiat, no, there's others i can talk about. Leo's a dummy. I don't mind him too much, but he is a super dummy. I love seeing Reiji get owned. Uh uhhh. fuck. Okay, so, Yuya. Not a great hero. I tolerate heroes that doubt themselves, I do, but jfc the kid changes minds far too often. And like I said, when he egaos right, it feels like he holds a magic gun. He's OP in dueling, therefore he gets nerfed via self-confidence because that's directly tied to his magic gun. That means he needs the help of others to regain confidence, these others include: Yusho, Yoko, Yuzu, Reiji, Jack Atlas and Reira. All yelling at him into his ear that he should believe in himself. Two of these are basically rivals, who should be sources of conflict, but instead they are major supporters of Yuya. The harshest conflict Yuya gets is himself. That's not that interesting when it's hardly himself who overcomes it, it's his massive support network getting through his thick skull. Over and over again. I like Yuya when he is confident. I don't like him when he's not. I hate him when he is becoming confident all over again since that means it's someone else pushing him.Cast is great. Reira is my favorite for very good storytelling happening with her. A lot feel wasted. The Core Conflict Badly paced, basically. Synchro Year feels wasted in retrospect, 50 eps to tell what 2 cours could, and Yuya isn't allowed to keep his development at all times for it. Leo is built up too much, and Zarc too little. It just feels like not enough build up, too much buildup and the villains getting shafted in both ways. There's a lot of exciting series of fights when years end, but it just doesn't pay off nearly as good as it promises. The Finale Confusing. But not intentionally so. We're not left to wonder what the world is, we are told by Leo what happened and we simply don't get to see it. It's not clear what happened to Zarc besides he smiled. Sad. But not intentionally so. Reira smiled, that means everything's good for her while the audience is sad that she's stuck as a baby. The Yugirls and Yubois are gone forever, but Shun accepted that and anyone that might miss Serena and Rin just aren't there, the people who see them are just shocked but never knew them. Shun is happy. Us, the audience, being sad isn't something being played with here. If Barret looked at an empty dorm room, then this would be a bittersweet ending. If the orphans started reading books Rin had marked, that'd be bittersweet. If Shun Showed Any Emotion That He Should Have Then That'd Be A Sad Ending. But it's not. Everyone accepts what happened with an egao. Us being sad isn't intentional, it is the show misinterpreting how we would react to 6 people fucking dying. Duel was alright kinda. Gates are bad. I love Yuya comboing into summon methods, but the gates don't do that, they just activate, use a monster in the grave and extra deck and summon a hybrid. That's not XYZ, that's not Synchro, that's kinda Fusion I guess. That's just not a combo into summon method,t hat's a cheap way to get any monster out. The final action duel race is a very neat concept. The duelists don't interact for the most part, feels like a waste. The pacing in it is also not great, stops too much. Catapult monsters fireworks is fun, I like that it's a final ATK manipulation because BUT YOU'LL STILL TAKE THE DAMAGE. Already talked about the worlds combining and NAC killing Serena in cold blood. Reiji is a terrible final opponent. Yugi vs Atem: Atem is the best duelist ever and is testing Yugi in a test of skills as those two have never fought and we still don't fully know Yugi's skills. Judai vs Yugi/Atem: Judai still needs to get his fun back, he loves fighting strong people and Yugi is The Strongest. Yusei vs Jack: those two have a lonstanding rivalry and the fight has futures at stake Yuma vs Astral: those two have never fought and relied on each other the whole time. Astral puts everyone's future on the line. These are all great back-and-forths, the opponent has an edge, the characters have chemistry and only Yusei vs Jack features rivals that have faced each other. Yuya vs Reiji... is Reiji sitting on his opening hand and denying Yuya's combos until he gets a big enough one. There's no real back and forth, Reiji is basically a rock. Those two have fought a bit, we return to their first fight place... like how the start of the arc also reused duel fields. Feels lazier than it does bookendy. Atem's goal is to see if Yugi is strong enough, and he's ready to stay with his friend if not. Yugi's goal is to beat down Judai's asshole and have fun. Jack's goal is to shatter Yusei's asshole so everyone can follow their dreams. Astral's goal is to have the greatest fight with Yuma ever. Reiji's goal is for Yuya to make his sister smile. Reiji blatantly and explicitly set this whole thing up for Yuya to win. He's loved Yuya's antics since forever, he supports him and he knows only Yuya can save everyone. While everyone else is like a karate master goign "lets talk with our fists!!", Reiji is more like a dad playing baseball with his kid and hoping loudly that the kid will bat the ball he's about to throw. And in doing so, the kid gets to the major leagues immediately.The duel's just not that interesting in setup, the plays are not well executed, the animation doesn't make the final action duel setpiece any justice, the resolution of conflict is confusing and relies on telling rather than showing and hoping the audience loves the themes enough and the fate of the yugirls and yubois is a grossly miss-communicated message. The Pro Test feels like an early concept since the pun is so good. I legit feel that Reiji's laugh suits Sawatari better. Imagine if his almost-mayor dad actually went "That Yuya duel was amazing!", Sawatari then laughing would be such a good way to end his character arc by accepting all that Yuya is. All in all? Disappointed. I like a lot of things, but the execution is ass. There's good bits, but as a whole the show falls apart. BB and Yuri, and Sergei and Yugo and Yuzu and Masumi and duel schools and fight club class and splatoon. So many good bits, but they do not flow well. They don't link to each other. They do not build up. The show fails to use its 3 year runtime. Disappointed.

[the-unprofessional-mtgplaye-blog]

Breaking Heliod: 5 Apects to Combo

I love playing combo decks. I love building Combo decks. I really suck at both as well.  But over the years trying to make cards synergize, I’ve learned six qualities for successful combo: speed, consistency, efficiency, power, and resilience. Every good Combo deck utilizes three of these qualities. The great combo decks (ones that often times get banned), utilize four or more. Deck builders need to know which aspects they’re utilizing the most, then how and why.  Deck pilots need to know how to maximize the most important elements for their particular match-up, hands, and game state.  For those who don’t know these 5 aspects, let’s discuss them.

Speed.  Speed in Magic: The Gathering strictly refers to the turn in which a deck can win on average. For combo, speed should be the highest priority of the deck. The faster the deck can put together its combo, the less likely it is to be disrupted, and the less it has to interact with the opponent’s game plan. Having to interact to keep from losing prevents the combo deck from being proactive both in game play and in card slots.  Without many slots for interaction, combo decks need to race their opponents and win before needing to interact. (Splinter Twin as combo control was an extreme exception).

Consistency measures how often the deck works, not wins, but works in the way in which it was designed. Consistency is the second most important aspect of a combo deck, and thankfully it can be measured. Play a large number of games and record the coinciding data. Slap a statistic on it. If it doesn’t consistently work, remember this: Non-combo card slots in the deck should be devoted to consistency.  There should be plenty of slots available for consistency, which brings up our next quality.

Efficiency describes two things: 1) the number of cards required for the combo, and 2) the number of turns the combo takes to set-up on the battlefield. The smaller number of cards the combo demands, the easier it is to assemble.  The less turns needed for set-up makes it more difficult to interact with. An uber successful combo deck is efficient in both areas.  It has ways to find it’s combo quickly, requires only a few cards to assemble, and can combo out the turn the cards hit the battlefield. 

Resilience refers to how well the deck plays through hate. Eventually a combo deck will be hated out. It may be hated out through sideboard options, while interactive decks will run main-board disruption. If a deck folds to a single card, it will be difficult to win side-boarded games, which are 2 out of every 3 games played in a given match. To be resilient, combo decks need either a plan B, redundancy in the deck, disruption of their own to protect the combo, or sideboard cards to bring in to interact with opponent’s hate. All of these make a more resilient deck.  Resiliency is necessary for post side-board games.

Power describes the strength of the combo, and it needs to be as broken as possible. By that, I mean when the combo is in effect, it must lead to winning the game, a.k.a inevitability. The combo could be to make infinite mana, card draw, life gain, mill, damage, or creature creation. But no matter what it is, the combo must lead to winning the game once on board.  If it doesn’t, or it doesn’t have inevitability, it isn’t powerful enough to build a deck around.  Now with all this discussed, let’s get to how identifying these 5 aspects helped me break the card Heliod, Sun-Crowned. First, here is my initial 75:

Creatures:

4 Helio, Sun-Crowned, 4 Walking Ballista, 4 Ranger, Captain of Eos,         4 Birds of Paradise

Instants:

4 Brought Back, 4 Once Upon a Time, 3 Eldarami’s Call, 3 Swift Justice

Arifacts:

4 Mishra’s Bauble

Enchantments:

4 Leyline of Vitality, 2 Force of Virture

Lands:

4 Windswept Heath, 4 Flooded Strand, 4 Temple Gardens, 2 Canopy Vista, 2 Plains, 2 Forests, 2 Cavern of Souls

Breakdown: The deck pairs Heliod with Walking Ballista for infinite damage between the card interactions.  Everything else in the deck either speeds it up, makes it resilient, efficient, or consistent.  Once Upon a Time, Eladamri’s Call, Mishra’s Bauble, and Ranger, Captain of Eos let me either dig or tutor for the cards I need.  Birds of Paradise and Brought Back ramps mana.  Ranger Captain and Cavern of Souls protect the combo pieces the turn I cast them to go off while Brought Back can bring them back if they are destroyed after casting them. Leyline of Vitality, Force of Virture, and Swift Justice speed up the deck, with Leyline acting as an engine card.  Leyline ensures I can cast Ballista for free and it doesn’t die because it comes in as an 0/1.  I can gain a life from a creature entering the battlefield, which triggers Heliod putting a counter onto a target creature, which is Ballista.  Then if i have mana open to activate Heliod’s lifelink ability, or a Swift Justice in hand, Walking Ballista goes infinite.  Force of Virtue is in the deck to act as another 2 copies of Leyline.  It doesn’t grant all the abilities of Leyline, but it is a free cast and grants a point of power and defense, as well as 2 white devotion to make Heliod a creature in case i need to go with Plan B of creature beat downs. Leyline gaining life for each creature entering the battlefield also buys an extra turn against aggro and burn decks in case I need until turn five for my combo.

The deck consistently goldfishes turn 4, and occasionally turn three, but this is only with Leyline on board from the opening hand.  Don’t underestimate the power of Brought Back and Leyline in this deck.  The deck can’t win on turn 3 without one of those two cards. Leyline can guarantee a turn three combo with a turn 2 Heliod and turn three Ballista coming down for free. Brought Back can ramp and dig through the deck quickly by returning fetch lands or Mishra’s Bauble to thin out the deck as well as return a combo piece, blocker, or sacked Ranger from the graveyard.

The sideboard consists of 4 Force of Vigor. 3 Leyline of Sanctity  2 Phyrexian Revoker, 2 Beast Within, 2 Engineered Explosives, 2 Path to Exile

Leyline and Force of Vigor protects my combo by either protecting my hand or my life total against direct damage and discard, or by killing artifacts and enchantments that shut my combo down.  Beast Within, EE, and Path take out anything I could need to take out, and Revoker can be tutored to shut down opponent combo pieces.  I was tempted to include 4 Silence in the sideboard as a control card, and I might still, but I haven’t played enough games to know if it’s worth it or not. 

I didn’t want to jam Heliod into another shell like most people are attempting.  I wanted a shell based around the combo, and this one seems to be the best.  It’s important cards are hard to interact with such as Heliod and due to Cavern and Ranger, and many of the cards are simply free to play: Once Upon a Time, Leylines, Force of Virtue, Ballista, Bauble.  Please feel free to try this list with the understanding of the 5 aspects of combo, and that this list attempts to maximize all 5 aspects: speed, power, consistency, resilience, and efficiency to make every game winnable. If anyone has any other feedback or suggestions, please feel free to comment.

[racingtoaredlight]

Degenerate’s guide to week 4 college football 2018 TV watch ‘em ups

The season is starting get some equilibrium to it. Alabama with a legitimately good QB and Coach Kool might just be unkillable but dumb shit always happens.

Here it is, technically the first fall Saturday. It’s still not an unmissable slate of games but the warmup games are mostly done with. East coast times, don’t care about the sites, nothing good will come of all this. Here you go:

Saturday, September 22

Matchup                                                                 Time (ET)      TV/Mobile

Akron at Iowa State                                               12:00pm            FSN

The MAC and the Big XII are close enough to being doppelgangers that if the Big XII committed a heinous crime 35 years ago the Big XII’s legal counsel could probably create doubt by claiming that it was actually the MAC who did it.

Boston College at Purdue                                      12:00pm        ESPN2

BC kind of plays like what the B1G pretends its teams play like and Purdue is running a Big XII kind of team. Worlds are colliding! Boston College has two RTARLsman candidates but I’ve limited myself to only talking about one per week because I still kind of hate Boston College.

Buffalo at Rutgers                                                   12:00pm            BTN

Tyree Jackson is the kind of player I would lose my job over as an NFL scout. I look at him and think, “this guy is like a good version of Josh Allen!” Watch him go undrafted.

Georgia at Missouri                                                  12:00pm         ESPN

Drew Lock has a three-game stretch starting today that will make or break his prospect status among the general public. NFL evaluators? Who knows. He could look ridiculously awful but show off TRAITS!!! and still go #1 over Ed Oliver and Lil’ Bosa.

Kent State at Mississippi                                          12:00pm         SECN

There are apparently seats at this game available for $2. The Landsharks have some really talented players so if you’re in the area, here’s a 4-hour highlight reel in the making.

Minnesota at Maryland                                              12:00pm           BTN

Brian Kelly got away with murder but DJ Durkin might not. I’d like to think that’s a step in the right direction for society but Durkin is a pretty bad coach on top of being a murderer so it’s probably not indicative of anything larger.

Navy at SMU                                                        12:00pm    ESPNU/ESPNews

Game of the week! I could be wrong but my early impression is that SMU is pretty bad this year.

Nebraska at Michigan                                                   12:00pm          FS1

Scott Frost is trying to get out ahead of things by saying things will get worse before they get better but as it stands Nebraska is gonna be underdogs in every game for the rest of the year so this should probably be as bad as it gets. As long as you understand it’s going to stay exactly this bad at least for a couple more months.

Nevada at Toledo                                                           12:00pm     CBSSN

This is at least as good of a game as the one right above it. So that’s a moral victory.

Notre Dame at Wake Forest                                         12:00pm       ABC

RTARL is officially rooting for Wake Forest this week.

Ohio at Cincinnati                                            12:00pm      ESPNU/ESPNews

The dregs of Ohio football can really give Michigan and Louisiana a run for their money (where monetary value is increased by the decreased quality of football within a given state.)

Pitt at North Carolina                                               12:20pm    Raycom Sports

I wouldn’t have thought two years ago that things could take such a dramatic turn in Chapel Hill but this might be Coach Hat’s last stand. If UNC loses to Pitt they are in very real danger of going 0-12. Stupidly enough, this is a conference game but Ohio-Cincinnati is not.

Louisville at Virginia                                                     12:30pm            RSN

Here is a game desperately in need of Lamar Jackson.

Western Michigan at Georgia State                             2:00pm           ESPN+

There will never be a week where I can remember off the top of my head which one is Georgia State and which one is Georgia Southern. Western Michigan had an NFL prospect last year (I think he went in the 4th round eventually) but this is not last year. As the saying goes.

Illinois State at Colorado State                                      3:00pm            ATTSN

I guess let us know what your interest is here if you have one.

Maine at Central Michigan                                             3:00pm             ESPN+

Wait, is Central Michigan the one that had the big OL last year? Who cares.

Miami (Ohio) at Bowling Green                                      3:00pm             ESPN+

Jesus fuck this is a wasteland.

WKU at Ball State                                                           3:00pm             ESPN3

I can’t speak for the talent levels but this is an interesting watch if you’re really into offensive schemes.

Charlotte at UMass                                                        3:30pm   ES/NESNplus

This is not a heavily advisable watch ‘em up. Only look if you have money on it.

Clemson at Georgia Tech                                               3:30pm            ABC

Interested to see what those crazy refs have in store for this one. I don’t actually know much about Clemson’s LBs but you need to have really good ones against the option. Unless you can just line up 4-3 every play and have your DL in the backfield constantly. We’ll see.

FIU at Miami (FL)                                                             3:30pm      ESPN/2/U

Canes twitter has been obsessing over Andre Ware slighting team captain Jaquan Johnson last week by saying he was faking an injury to stop the clock near the end of the first half. Well, Johnson is out this week so that’s a great acting job by the kid. I don’t really care about this controversy but it’s really odd that Butch Davis is coaching a team against The U and getting basically no notice for it.

Gardner-Webb at Appalachian State                            3:30pm         ESPN+

Oh, hell yeah.

Kansas at Baylor                                                            3:30pm          FS1

Not to discourage our collective Kansas fandom but I really like that we’re back to a point where this game is just a matchup of godawful teams.

Kansas State at West Virginia                                     3:30pm     ABC/ESPN/2

If Will Grier is actually good WFV should win by 30.

NC Central at Duke                                                     3:30pm       ACCNExtra

I’ve got all my favorite NC Central gear laid out for this one.

NIU at Florida State                                                     3:30pm         ESPN/2/U

It’s cool that FSU is still sitting here with like 20 future NFL guys on their roster and they still might plausibly lose to NIU at home.

Texas A&M at Alabama                                               3:30pm              CBS

aTm has good receivers. Stop me if this sounds familiar.

Tulane at Ohio State                                                   3:30pm              BTN

Really looking forward to the redemption angle the announcers use for Urban Meyer in this one.

Virginia Tech at Old Dominion                                   3:30pm           CBSSN

Look the games aren’t good, OK? Just better than the last two weeks.

Arizona at Oregon State                                           4:00pm            Pac-12N

He isn’t going to be a Heisman candidate this way but Khalil Tate’s passing stats are actually pretty good.

South Carolina at Vanderbilt                                    4:00pm               SECN

Can Coach Boom go from redeemed to fired in the span of 10 weeks? Yes, he can. Vandy is not bad this year. Or Notre Dame is bad. Hopefully the second one.

UConn at Syracuse                                                   4:00pm          ESPNews

Classic matchup of Big East rivals.

TCU at Texas                                                              4:30pm                 FOX

TCU doesn’t have enough talent or coaching to get past Ohio State this year but you know who they can still beat by 30? Texas.

McNeese at BYU                                                       6:00pm               BYUtv

I didn’t watch last week. Did BYU show off their turnover chain or did they just hastily design it after they could have given Paul Chryst a stroke?

North Texas at Liberty                                            6:00pm               ESPN3

UNT had by far the funniest upset of the week last week so it’s nice that they get to beat up Liberty this week as a reward.

Arkansas at Auburn                                               7:30pm                 SECN

Maybe Arkansas was just looking ahead last week and they aren’t going to lose by 75 to Auburn this week?

Army at Oklahoma                                 7:00pm  FSOK PPV / SoonerSports.tv

Kyler Murray is really good and Lincoln Riley is really good and neither of those things takes away from how really really good Baker Mayfield is.

Coastal Carolina at Louisiana                               7:00pm                 ESPN+

Thank god this one is in prime time for most of the country.

Florida at Tennessee                                              7:00pm                 ESPN

20 years ago this was the most consistently entertaining annual rivalry in college football. Now it’s sort of the opposite of that. But it’s still a brand name, on the main ESPN channel sort of thing somehow to this day.

LA Tech at LSU                                                      7:00pm                 ESPNU

LSU is liable to still go out and win this game by 7 points or less, just so you know.

Mississippi State at Kentucky                              7:00pm              ESPN/2/U

Kentucky might really be top 5 in the SEC this year. Understand that for what it’s worth.

NC State at Marshall                                             7:00pm               CBSSN

A huge battle of unbeatens with national championship implications! I assume there will be some sort of strength of schedule ramifications from this game, I mean.

Rice at Southern Miss                                            7:00pm               ESPN+

There is nothing I could tell you about this game that would make me interested in what I was saying.

Texas State at UTSA                                              7:00pm                ESPN+

No Davenport and no Coker makes interest go something something.

Texas Tech at Oklahoma State                              7:00pm                 FS1

Without checking I’ll just say bet the over.

Troy at ULM                                                             7:00pm               ESPN+

Still traveling through a wasteland here.

UNLV at Arkansas State                                         7:00pm              ESPN3

We’re still 2 years from Armani Rogers getting dark horse NFL draft hype but it’s never too early to say he sucks without ever watching him play.

Michigan State at Indiana                                      7:30pm                BTN

I really believed in Sparty (and Wisconsin) this year. That was a mistake.

New Mexico State at UTEP                                    7:30pm             ESPN3

Now we’re getting into real gambling hours. The line is trending towards NMSU and the over keeps falling. Not sure what to make of either of those things but look for UTEP to spring the big upset in a 5 OT thriller.

East Carolina at USF                                              8:00pm             ESPNews

I feel like the TV info is a mistake. This game has to be on CBS SN, doesn’t it? This pure AAA goodness. Both teams have looked better than expected so far but that doesn’t mean ECU is good. I’d still take them +21.5 if I were betting.

South Alabama at Memphis                                8:00pm      WMC-TV/ESPN3

I’m not asking for a lot from Darrell Henderson. Just get over 300 yards rushing on less than 20 carries and we’re good.

Stanford at Oregon                                                8:00pm                  ABC

This is a top 25 matchup which seems funny. Justin Herbert is the odds-on favorite to be the #1 QB in next year’s draft right now. Oregon still doesn’t defend the run. This could be real entertainment.

Texas Southern at Houston                                   8:00pm               ESPN3

Ed Oliver is really trending towards the Khalil Mack zone where nothing he personally does is going to be enough to make his team’s defense actually good. This is a reference to Mack’s college days but I guess it applies to his time in Oakland, too.

Wisconsin at Iowa                                                  8:30pm                  FOX

Wisconsin really shook things up by shitting all down their own pants against BYU last week. Nice going, Chryst. Turnover chain your ass, indeed.

Air Force at Utah State                                         10:15pm              ESPN2

Let’s get weird!

Arizona State at Washington                                10:30pm              ESPN

How’s the Herm Edwards bandwagon holding up? Per the gambling numbers, UDub should win 34.25 to 16.75 but I’d be very surprised if that’s actually the final score.

Eastern Michigan at San Diego State                  10:30pm           CBSSN

This is the good stuff. SDSU by 100.

Duquesne at Hawaii                                11:59pm     Spectrum / ATTSN PGH

I don’t know if I get this channel, Attention Pittsburgh but you can believe I’ll watch this game if I do. Could be a true Jack Pardee special here.

[365footballorg-blog]

Armchair Analyst: Battle of East titans, Darwin's debut & more from Week 7

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April 15, 201810:21PM EDT

“To find out what one is fitted to do, and to secure an opportunity to do it, is the key to happiness.” – John Dewey

As I wrote last week, we’re not quite at “You are what your record says you are” territory just yet. The schedule’s been too imbalanced, the sample size is too small and there are too many other variables – including a still-open transfer window, a still-ongoing continental Cup competition, and a cadre of still-integrating offseason acquisitions.

But while we’re not yet at that truly measurable phase, we have just about hit the point where we’re figuring out if teams are figuring it out. The results are predictably mixed, but at the very least we have an idea of who’s on the road to improvement and who’s on the road to nowhere.

We are just under 20 percent of the way through the 2018 MLS season. There are three exceptional teams (you could argue a fourth depending upon how you feel about the Red Bulls) so far. It pays, at this stage, to be ruthlessly pragmatic about a team’s relative strengths and weaknesses. That way lies happiness.

This Must Be the Place

One of those exceptional teams will be playing in the Concacaf Champions League final on Tuesday night. The other two played in front of 45,000 screaming fans in Atlanta on Sunday night.

Atlanta United’s 2-2 draw against visiting NYCFC was riveting in just about every conceivable fashion. David Villa returned from injury (he’d played tune-up minutes Wednesday in a 4-0 destruction of RSL) and returned to the scoreboard. Ezequiel Barco finally got on the field. Alex Ring scored a golazo. Miguel Almiron was everywhere. The setting and the quality of play were both off the charts, and while the LA vs. LAFC game will linger longer in the minds of MLS fandom, I think this game was the best I’ve seen all year.

There are tons of reasons why, including the above. But the big ones for me were how 1) Patrick Vieira’s gameplan to eliminate central midfield caused the Five Stripes to have to make a major adjustment, and then 2) how they were able to make that adjustment on the fly in order to start pulling the Pigeons apart. 

Through the first 23 minutes the game was something close to one-way traffic, with NYCFC dominating the ball and where either team could use it. That was the point where Almiron, Greg Garza and Leandro Gonzalez Pirez engaged in some on-field problem-solving:

Almiron having to drift toward the flank to get on the ball. Look at Garza pointing where to pass to.

Three minutes later, a similar sequence led to the first Atlanta United goal. Good problem solving with NYCFC taking away central midfield. #ATLvNYCpic.twitter.com/mRacgdcnEA

— Matthew Doyle (@MattDoyle76) April 15, 2018

Almiron was nominally a forward on the day, but NYCFC had so walled-off the midfield that he’d been starved for service and zero percent influential in the first quarter of the game. So then instead of having him drop back into central midfield in order to get on the ball, Almiron started flaring wide while Garza – a wingback – began pinching inside in order to create overloads and suck opposing defenders to him.

You can even see Garza pointing toward Almiron in that clip, telling Gonzalez Pirez where to pass to. A couple minutes later a similar sequence led to the game’s first goal.

NYCFC’s adjustment to Atlanta’s adjustment was twofold. First, right back Anton Tinnerholm stopped going forward, instead acting as more of a distributing hub rather than an overlapping threat. Second, Villa mostly pressed up higher instead of dropping back to get on the ball as they decided “You know, we’re probably good enough to get one if we just play through him, and it’ll give us a little bit more solidity.”

And that’s how you got to the final score of an exceptionally intricate, well-played game. I think these are the second and third-best teams in the league, and I’m pretty sure they just showed us all why. 

Houses in Motion

I’m going to break my own rule and write about a single team in consecutive weeks here (I try to spread the love, but sometimes a story just persists and I feel compelled to keep picking it apart).

In this case, it’s FC Dallas. And FC Dallas are interesting first because they are one of the handful of teams in MLS that, I think, could reach the above level. It’s where they were at 12 months ago, and it’s where they were at for most of the two years prior to that. I’m not sure where they’ve been since mid-July of last year, but “First team in MLS history with back-to-back 60-point seasons” is still in there somewhere.

Secondly, they looked like they figured something out this weekend in a 1-0 win over a pretty feisty New England team. Dallas, as they often do on the road, came out in a low-block 4-4-2 designed for the counterattack. They generated some great chances that way, and Cristian Colman – stop me if you’ve heard this one before – left the bulk of those on the table. (I���d still like to see him get a run of six or seven straight games to see if he can’t find a finishing rhythm, and it’s perhaps telling that when Oscar Pareja had to make a sub to get out of the 4-4-2 and into a front-foot 4-3-3, it was Colman and not Maxi Urruti who stayed on the field).

But yeah, I just gave it away: Pareja changed the game when he changed the formation. Too often folks use “formation” as a stand-in for “tactics,” and it’s important to know that’s bad and wrong. Those are different things with different meanings.

At the same time, they’re often related and on Saturday they definitely were. The goal of going to the 4-3-3 was to push their own midfielders up higher, to close down any easy distribution from New England’s defenders, and to give Wilfried Zahibo one too many runners to keep track of in the final third.

And so…

That’s Jacori Hayes’s first career goal, and he deserved it. He was the best player on the field.

The larger point is that Dallas showed a level of flexibility and intentionality in their approach to this game that’s largely been absent since last summer. They were far from perfect – the Revs had their chances, just like los Toros Tejanos did – and they’ll have to perform better in the coming weeks, and they’ll have to do the above with Mauro Diaz on the field. It’s not going to be easy.

And yet they’ve managed not to lose so far in 2018, which is a big step given how ugly 2017 was. Plus they’ve now collected road points, and they’ve done so in an unexpected but utterly rational way. It was fun and good.

Does this mean Dallas are back, or even that I expect Dallas to get back to where they were before the Big Gloom of the past nine months? I sitll have my doubts. But after that win I’ve got fewer than I did a week ago. FCD seem to know a little bit more about who they’re supposed to be, and few things bode as well as that in the long run.

A few more things to ponder…

10. As I mentioned in the first segment, RSL got killed midweek in a game that was neither as close nor as competitive as the very lopsided scoreline indicates. The Claret-and-Cobalt were completely undone by NYCFC’s decision to use Jesus Medina as a false 9, a tactical shift that highlighted the disconnect between the RSL central defense and central midfield. 

It was more than just tactics, though. RSL didn’t track runners, didn’t close down passing lanes, and didn’t ever seem to work in tandem to clear danger. This is a team that still looks like they’re in preseason.

9. Philly don’t look like they’re still in preseason. They just look like they have no idea how to finish their chances, and that continued to be the case in a soul-crushing 2-0 home loss to Orlando City. Let’s let Montreal Impact and Canada legend Patrice Bernier diagnose part of the issue for the Union:

Forward and Midfield line to distant and spread out. Sapong often gets ball back to goal with no quick options/outlets around box. Could lead to shots from outside box and quick combination play and final pass to wingers also.

— Patrice Bernier (@pbernier10) April 14, 2018

Yup.

After scuffling along through most of March, Jason Kreis has mostly pulled the right levers over the past two weeks. In this case it was giving starts to Stefano Pinho and Chris Mueller, two of the heroes of Week 6’s epic comeback win over Portland. For the Purple Lions it seems like it’s about guys winning jobs, not just losing them – an important and valuable distinction.

8. Friday night’s other encounter was up in Vancouver, where LAFC broke their two-game losing streak and hung a 2-0 loss on the punchless Whitecaps.

Vancouver didn’t have any ideas as to how to consistently advance the ball into the attacking third without Kei Kamara’s knockdowns. So they tried to possess more, and when they did that they opened themselves up to some danger via LAFC’s counter in the other direction.

Ultimately, though, it wasn’t the counter. It was Carlos Vela and Diego Rossi, the two LAFC DPs, doing what they’re paid to do.

By the way, as LAFC have taken nine points from the first five games of their franchise-opening six-game road trip, I’m willing to call said road trip a success no matter what happens in Montreal this coming weekend.

7. The other team in that group of three elites I mentioned are, of course, Toronto FC. They went to Colorado on Saturday, played most of the bottom half of their roster and lost 2-0 to the Rapids.

#COLvTOR summed up in one meme. pic.twitter.com/ybuifwmEw8

— Colorado Rapids (@ColoradoRapids) April 15, 2018

This was a pass/fail proposition for Colorado, with nothing more to be taken out of it than that. They passed. Onto the next one.

6. Three appearances, one start, two game-winning goals for Zlatan Ibrahimovic. There was nothing at all pretty to be taken from the Galaxy’s 1-0 win at Chicago on Saturday as it was played in the driving wind and rain that that gave the Second City its, um, other nickname. 

That said, the Fire’s Dax McCarty is worried.

“That’s what we are,” he said after the game. “We’re below average right now. The results speak to that.”

Chicago are 10th in the East with four points from five games. They’ve won just one out of four at home, which is not great news for a team that traditionally struggles outside of Bridgeview.

5. D.C. United traditionally struggle outside of Washington, D.C., but they did manage to get a win in Annapolis on Saturday, beating the visiting Crew 1-0 at the Naval Academy. It’s D.C.’s last home game for three months, at which point Audi Field will open and they’ll have a big old hole to dig themselves out of in the second half of the season.

Columbus are skidding. They’ve lost three straight and been shut out in three straight on the road. The chances are there, but they’re just pounding the woodwork right now.

While I think they’ll be ok in the long run, it’s probably fair to start asking questions of DP winger Pedro Santos. His movement and vision are fantastic, but he’s managed just 1g/3a in 1688 MLS minutes (regular season and playoffs) which is simply not good enough for a player with his role. Columbus need goals from their wingers or they’ll drop down to the playoff line – and perhaps below it.

4. Yeah so my general take is that the Red Bulls are going to be fine. Tuesday night’s loss to Chivas was among the most disappointing in MLS history for literally any club, but they followed it up by thoroughly outclassing Montreal by 3-1 in Harrison on Saturday. Here, let’s argue about Kaku!

I understand Bobby’s point and, by extension, Jesse Marsch’s. But I’ll stand by my take: In big moments, you need players who have a little bit extra something special, and you need to play your best players in their best spots. To me, starting Kaku vs. Chivas would’ve given the Red Bulls a better shot at both of those.

3. Darwin Quintero’s debut was good stuff for Minnesota United. He got on the ball a ton, scored one goal and basically created the second, was willing and able to combine around the box, should’ve had an assist on a nifty chip to the back post that I still can’t believe Christian Ramirez wasn’t able to rise up for, and was often the best player on the pitch.

But the Loons lost 3-2 at the Timbers. Quintero isn’t going to solve the fundamental question this team’s been trying to answer since their first-ever MLS game (which also happened to be in Portland): Can they defend? So far the answer is a resounding “no.”

Same, by the way, for the Timbers. Portland’s actually conceded more goals than MNUFC this year – 14, which is tied with RSL for league worst. They seemed totally determined to let Minnesota back into a game they should’ve killed off multiple times, the continuation of a trend for Portland in 2018.

2. Our Face of the Week, courtesy of Q:

If your team talk doesn’t include the mascot, is it really a team talk? pic.twitter.com/WZji8psWoj

— Major League Soccer (@MLS) April 15, 2018

San Jose both blew a lead and came back in a 2-2 home draw against visiting Houston. This was a weird, game-state-y game that I felt like the Quakes were controlling for a ton of the time. Jackson Yueill started in central midfield and gave them the ability to spread the field around as they went away from the 4-4-2 and into a 4-3-3, and upon first viewing I thought it worked.

Then I watched it again and… honestly, Houston should’ve won. They generated way more chances – many of them very good – were committed in their movements in the final third, and once again seemed to have clarity with regard to their plan. The Dynamo didn’t seem as interested in “game flow” and “rhythm” as they were in potential decisive moments, and honest to god they won most of those outright.

They just didn’t finish as well as they should’ve. They let San Jose off the hook.

I think the next step for the Quakes is going to be moving Florian Jungwirth back to central defense.

1. And finally, our Pass of the Week courtesy of the other Roldan:

There are few things in this world I love more than a curling, properly weighted outside-of-the-boot pass into space. That was a lovely ball and a lovely goal.

Seattle got off the schneid with their 2-2 draw at SKC, who continue to look more fragile defensively than anyone had a right to think they would. They’re still fine – 14 points from seven games has them top of the West on both points and points per game – but I don’t see a team all that much closer to solving the defensive issues that plagued them throughout the bulk of March.

That might not be fatal in the West playoff race, but it’s something they’ve got to solve in the coming months if they want to have more than their annual token postseason appearance.

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Armchair Analyst: Battle of East titans, Darwin's debut & more from Week 7 was originally published on 365 Football

[powerranks]

Power Ranks: Week 4

So in any fantasy season, I think that the first four weeks are largely irrelevant in terms of evaluating your players. Obviously, you want your team to do good but it’s the first four weeks in a season in which new NFL rules lowered practice times before the season started, making the first four weeks of this particular season EVEN MORE irrelevant. Offensive lines have yet to gel, receivers and QB’s may not be on the same page yet, and defenses seem to be the only thing thriving relatively consistently at this point. 

On the other hand, record in terms of fantasy matters quite a bit, and that’s a really big thing for the 1-3 squads, you’re one game out of like the four seed! Other than Anthony, nobody’s really already pretty much guaranteed themselves a playoff spot. It’s not panic time yet, but I like that the perception of panic time has caused trade discussions to ramp up. 

Scott Genitalia update: 9-3 (this is the wildest thing considering me and Scott’s teams are honestly terrible)

Reminder: the number I give you doesn’t matter as much as the tier I put you in, I don’t see a big difference between teams in a tier other than small details.

The “Lego Movie soundtrack song ‘Everything is Awesome’” tier 

1. Scott’s Balls 12-4-16 (Anthony “you’re still a bitch though” Mendola) (4-0) (LW: 1)

In the 2015 NBA Playoffs, the Cavaliers and Bulls were playing a game. LeBron spun baseline and dunked all over Joakim Noah’s shit, effectively ending his career since he hasn’t played a meaningful minute since that series. Noah, never one to back down or accept shit, put up the best post-getting dunked on response of all time, he said “you’re still a bitch tho”.  Honestly hall of fame level response, because anytime anyone does literally ANYTHING and you come back with “you’re still a bitch tho” then that person is very much still a bitch. So, Anthony, you’re doing great. 4-0 with a team that’s performing about as well as it possibly can, almost unsustainably so. Cam and Le’veon might’ve turned it around last week, Kareem Hunt has more second half rushing yards than the next person in the rushing yardage leaders (Gurley) has on the season, Hogan and Gronk are catching every single Brady TD, and your flex and WR2 seem to just always get like 9. Everything is going right, Golden boy bullshit has a raging boner right now. You’re dunking on the league. You’re still a bitch tho. 

The some sort of a flaw was exposed this weekend tier

2. Fournette About It (Jack “the most expansive Rick and Morty reaction gif collection I’ve ever seen” Cleek) (3-1) (LW: 2)

Honestly everything was going so well! You had three of the best like 6 RB’s to have and now it’s diminished by Cook going down. It’s a real bummer, you never wanna see players go down like that, especially so early in their careers. Luckily, your depth has more than enough players to cover you. However, I can’t have you in the highest tier anymore because the value of having that third RB is so high. Hopkins is as good a replacement as anyone, but he’s not gonna be as consistent as Cook. The same can be said for Duke, Davante, and Golden Tate. I also think that Diggs and Clay are slightly unsustainable but ride the hot hand baby. 

The rearranged pile of above average garbage tier

3. Mixon It Up (Alec “bad at predicting WR’s” Bernstein) (2-2) (LW: 7)

After a truly horrendous, almost unprecedentedly bad start to the fantasy season, that’s two straight weeks of 105+ for you. Wilson will have up and down weeks but he’s on a two good game streak, Miller had his once or twice yearly blowup game, and Green/Beckham will never get less than 20 combined going forward. Graham continues to be a solid tight end. You’re gonna have to fix RB2 (mixon looks awful) and your flex (Sanders is the best option and I don’t think that’s a good thing long term, maybe Kamara breaks out) but well done my man, you’ve turned this season on it’s head the past two weeks.

4. Hammer (Tony “ok maybe he isn’t back” Mendola) (1-3) (LW: 3)

Brady+Freeman+Gostkowski is about as good a trio as you’re gonna get, but your receivers are maddeningly inconsistent. Hilton will become far better when he gets back but until then you really don’t have a single good option at the moment. Fitzgerald is your best receiver so far and he fell off a cliff in the second half last year. Landry is unfortunately bound to Cutler. Unless you can identify some guy on the wire to break out or your guys turn it around, You’re gonna depend on 2-3 guys to really carry you all season.

5. Scott’s Jizz (Scott “Hi Scott, here’s your rank” Felgenhauer) (3-1) (LW:10)

Nobody thought this was possible considering what happened to David Johnson and the names on your roster but this is an incredibly random 3-1 team that I think is better than I or anyone originally gave it credit for. Dak may not look that great in games, but he’s an incredible fantasy QB. Powell will at least be the lead back for one more week. Dez+Thomas may be the second best WR duo in the league behind Alec’s guys, and Kelce is just as good as Gronkowski. Everything else on the team that’s garbage really may not matter. If you can somehow survive and go like 4-4 or 3-5 when David Johnson comes back, you can make the playoffs.

6. i’m bad at this (Dylan “bad against scott” Jessop) (1-3) (LW:6)

Idk it just really feels like it shouldn’t be this bad, right? On paper this team is still super scary. Stafford could nut at any time. Murray could nut at any time. Nelson always nuts. Cooks/Gillislee nut inconsistently. CJ Anderson nutes. It just never happens at the same time, which is the problem. You’ve left a TON of points on your bench almost every week and I think you’re the 1-3 team in the best shape by far because the production is there it’s just completely wild as to when and who will do it.

7. Scott’s Penis (David “It’s just that GZ” Chinchilla) (2-2) (LW: 8)

I finally broke 100, but honestly it was the flukiest 100 because Greg Zuerlein had the third best fantasy day for a kicker in the history of fantasy football. That’s wild. The silver lining is that my consistent guys continue to be consistent I guess? McCoy at some point will score, Ajayi at some point will not suck, and I’m confident in Keenan Allen and Devante Parker. I need Luck and Reed back real bad guys. But, I’m playing the patriots this week (Anthony) and who do you call when you need to beat the patriots? ELI BABY

The “I’m just making another tier because these teams have just slightly performed worse” tier

8. Smallerwood (Chris “maybe changing your picture helps too” Gatzow) (1-3) (LW: 5)

Brees will continue to be one of the more consistent Qb’s in football, and I think a combination of Howard/Coleman/Smallwood is enough to keep the Rb’s afloat, but your receivers and flex look VERY rough. Cooper was dead without Carr, it may only be worse now. Julio had the yards, but not the TD’s, and now the Matt Ryan regression year is officially on only to fuck you. This week looks especially rough, with Coleman/Brees/Julio out, Mariota possibly not playing, and Baldwin/Smallwood/Cooper having injury designations. Long term, I think you’ll be okay because there’s no way your receivers continue to suck so much, but it may be too little too late if you continue to lose. 

9. Aegon Targaryen M’FVCKA (Alex “trade nut was busted” Ahn) (1-3) (LW: 4)

It’s been three straight weeks under 90 points, and two straight under 75. Ryan looks like 2015 Ryan, I rostered that Ryan and it’s really not a fun ride. Carson died. Jeffery and Tyreek both look like boom or bust guys, Tyreek especially. Bennett is used awfully in Green Bay, and I want zero part of the Baltimore backfield. Marshawn looks like a huge dissapointment, and J Stew is behind McCaffrey in terms of usage on that team. You’re gonna need some waiver guys to really come through, because I don’t know if it’ll get THAT much better.

10. Beshoy and Some Backups (Beshoy “Bench went Wild” Halim) (1-3) (LW: 9)

Considering that your bench went crazy and had you not just over thought some of your decisions and made the logical play, you would’ve had a way higher score last week. I don’t think you’re as bad as the ranking makes you out to be. I don’t see that much of a difference between say, your team and me and Dylan’s teams if we’re being honest. The reason you’re down here is because although last week gave some hope that there’s producers on the team, that’s four straight weeks not breaking 90. It’s cool and all that some guys are performing, but you gotta score some points at some point. That being said, I think you got the worst case scenario out of Gordon last week, and outside of that you just played the wrong guys. Pryor hadn’t done anything, maybe this past week was just what he needed. Blount looks like a good fantasy guy, he didn’t even score and got 15. Abdullah had been up and down, but like Pryor maybe this was the week he turned it around. I know it wouldn’t have mattered this past week since Anthony went wild, but I have to put you down here based on past performance. 

PICKS

Scott’s Balls 12-11-16 (Anthony) over Scott’s Penis (David)

Beshoy and Some Backups (Beshoy) over Mixon it Up (Alec)

Aegon Targaryen M’FVCKA (Alex) over Scott’s Jizz (Scott)

Fournette About It (Jack) over Hammer (Tony)

I’m bad at this (Dyl) over Smallerwood (Chris)

Last Week: 1-4

Season 8-12

[auburnfamilynews]

Well that sucked. Auburn’s first play was a sack. Auburn’s last 3 plays were sacks. Let’s try and find out what happened.

DISCLAIMER: I’m not a coach. I’ve never played football outside of practice in middle school. I don’t have the All-22 film. All conclusions here are my best guesses based on watching football my entire life and being a play-design nerd. Those conclusions should be interpreted as such.

The Video

The Plays

Sack 1

1Q, 1st and 10 AU 25, 15:00 Auburn opens up in 10 personnel with 2 WRs to either side. Since I don’t have the All-22 feed, I’m not sure what the route combination is to the bottom. At the top is a smash-concept. Stidham gets man coverage, so the call is usually to hit the corner route to (I think) Ryan Davis. It seems to be well covered. His checkdown, Pettway, is also well covered.

I think he panics too early. Stidham has a good pocket, and Wanagho has walled off his man behind Stidham. He should be able to step up and either wait for someone to break open or get rid of the ball. Instead he flushes right and CU’s linebackers are all over him.

Fault: Stidham

Sack 2

1Q, 2nd and 7 CU 43, 1:47 Intentional grounding counts as a sack for record keeping. This is the trick play. Stidham threw the ball away, and I’m assuming he didn’t know that once anyone else touches the ball, you can’t safely throw the ball away. In his defense, I didn’t know that either. On the other hand, one of the 6 offensive-minded coaches or however many analysts should have known that and directed him as such. If he throws this at Pettway’s feet he’s fine. It was a nice 2nd down call though.

Fault: Play design, coaching

Sack 3

2Q, 3rd and 5 CU 6, 15:00 Auburn is again in 10 personnel, but this time there are trips to Stidham’s left. Clemson only rushes 4. Lawrence rips past Braden Smith and forces Stidham to step up right as he finished his drop. He steps up right into the arms of Wilkins. This one is all on the line. If Stidham has more time, I think he could have hit Pettway right at the sticks.

Fault: O-Line, Braden Smith

Sack 4

2Q, 2nd and 1 AU 30, 0:34 With time running out in the half, Auburn sends everybody out on 2nd and 1. Stidham breaks the pocket and rolls right, but apparently he doesn’t have anything and goes out of bounds with a loss of 1. This goes down as a sack, but it really isn’t any different than a throwaway.

Fault: Unknown, possibly coverage

Sack 5

3Q, 2nd and 5 AU 35, 10:27 10 personnel, 2 WRs to either side. Ferrell times the snap and Wanagho can’t wall him off enough. I think Auburn was running a fake screen to the right, since Ryan Davis is near the backfield when Stidham is blind-sided. I understand maybe taking a shot here, but where is the checkdown. I also don’t recall a hard-count later in the game to attempt to catch Clemson offside. Auburn is lucky to recover the fumble here. It was a 50/50 ball that Wanagho got to first.

Fault: not varying the snap count (though credit Ferrell here)

Sack 6

3Q, 3rd and 14 AU 26, 9:41 The very next play. Same personnel, but trips left. Clemson rushes 5, but showed 6. Stidham steps up and right into the pocket, but apparently he has nothing. God forbid ESPN show an endzone replay. In fairness, this is 3rd and 14, so I’m sure he wanted all of it. Fans hate when you run 3rd down routes short of the line to gain, but it has it’s place. Let your guys try to make plays.

Fault: coverage + no underneath option (just a guess)

Sack 7

Q3, 4th and 3 CU 37, After a nice 3rd down play where Stidham hit Davis on a crossing route (see? we did run them) to set up 4th and 3, Auburn sugar-huddles with unbalanced 21 personnel. TE Jalen Harris is the weak-side tackle, and Braden Smith is the “TE”. It’s a flood to the right. Cox, the FB, runs shallow, then I’m guessing the receivers run a high-low combo.

For reasons I don’t know, the line shifts left. Clemson’s Lamar waits for a hole to open up, and Pettway is left blocking two defenders while the other 6 protectors block 3. Stidham doesn’t really have a chance here, but with it being 4th down, you might as well throw it.

Fault: play design, O-Line

Sack 8

4Q, 3rd and 7 AU 15, 14:23 10 personnel again with 2 WRs to either side. Clemson blitzes, and while the pickup is pretty good, Wanagho gets beaten by Ferrell. Stidham actually does a really nice job to roll right and try to find someone. On replay, I think he should probably get this one away to whomever was the outside receiver to the right. Though I can’t tell if they come back to Stidham like they should.

Fault: Wanagho, Stidham, possibly an unnamed WR

Sack 9

Q4, 1st and 10 CU 45, 5:21 A Stove sweep and Stidham scramble have Auburn inside Clemson territory on what would be their final possession. Auburn goes with 10 personnel, 2 WRs to either side and a stack to Stidham’s right. This is a screen to Kam Martin, but Clemson red it the whole way. When Wanagho leaves Ferrell, he stays with Martin. Since Wanagho goes downfield and attempts a block, Stidham can’t throw to anyone else. This has to go at Martin’s feet.

Fault: Stidham, but credit 99 for not being fooled here.

Sack 10

4Q, 2nd and 13 CU 48, 4:48 Martin is replaced by Pettway, otherwise the same personnel. Hastings motions right to even the formation and determine coverage. Clemson moves their safeties, so it’s probably zone. Clemson rushes 6, but they rush both linebackers into the same gap. The second linebacker waits for Pettway to pick up #34, then runs right behind him as a free rusher. This is known as a “green dog”. If the play takes too long, and if the line doesn’t react, then Clemson has a free hit on Stidham. Davis is pretty open as he breaks his post to a square-in since the safety stays high, but Stidham either can’t see him or was too focused on Hastings running the rail route.

Fault: a little on Stidham for not reading the blitz and/or not stepping into the throw, a little on the line for not reacting (at the end, there are 4 linemen blocking two players), a little credit to Venables, who didn’t blitz much until Auburn got desperate.

Sack 11

4Q, 3rd and 20 AU 45, 4:03 Auburn brings in Cox to help with protection and sacrifices a WR. It doesn’t matter, because Clemson only rushes 4. Stidham has time, but apparently no one is open. He steps up, then flushes right, but there’s only one receiver to that side. He waits too long to try to throw the ball away, and his knee hits the ground before he puts one right between Kodi Burns’s imaginary numbers. Imaginary because he’s out of eligibility and is the wide receivers coach, not a wide receiver.

Notice I said Stidham flushes right. Stidham rolled to his arm side every time he was under pressure. Even if the left was open. Even if the left was the wide side of the field. Even if there are more receivers to the left. He has to be coached to flush to space, not just to his arm strength. If he rolls left here, he’ll have enough time to set his feet and throw. I’m not sure if he’s been coached into doing it, or if he hasn’t been coached out of doing it.

Conclusions

Some of these are situational. I’ve never been much for throwing the ball away on third down, because you’re just saving a few yards for the punt. 5 of the sacks were on 3rd or 4th down. The real problem is the other 6. Sure, one was an obscure rule, but what about the other 5? They consistently kept Auburn in bad situations where Clemson could ignore the run threat and pass rush at will. Great offenses struggle in those scenarios, and this does not appear to be a great offense. What it can be is good. Good offense with this defense is probably enough to win 10 games (give or take the bowl). Jarrett Stidham has all the arm talent he needs, but he has to get the ball to his receivers. Those receivers have to work to get open. The line has to gel and give him time.

This Saturday is going to be a “get-right” game. It’s a chance for Auburn to clean up its passing concepts and give its players the confidence they need before hitting the road in the SEC. All is not lost, but if changes aren’t made, there are only a few games left on the schedule that can be counted as surefire wins.

from College and Magnolia http://bit.ly/2xsuYKv