#can’t help but get overly dramatic when people are nice to me on tumblr i guess. my bad

[pacifistcowboy]

🤝

going insane over the characters™ all by yourself?

🤝

not anymore :) 💕

[chuckbass-love]

Johnny smut#4

Hello lovely anon. Thank you so much for this request, again, i’m sorry for the long wait but i didn’t want to write this when i didn’t have much motivation and then have it turn out any less than perfect. I hope it’s worth the wait for you and that you enjoy it.

Also a lil A/N for everyone: To everyone who has requested, i’m gonna get back on it and try and get at least 2 or 3 out per week if possible. I lost motivation for a hot minute but i’m back. I love you all so much. Also, part 7 to only love can hurt like this will be up sometime in the next week or so. I’m still working on it but i already can’t wait for you all to read.

Disclaimer: My work is not to be posted anywhere else other than MY Tumblr, Wattpad and Ao3 without my permission. However, reblogs are welcome.

Pairing: Johnny Storm x Fem!Reader

Prompt #4: “You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught”

Warning: Smut, explicit content, sexual intercourse, hair pulling, choking, mouth covering and swearing. 18+

Word Count: 5,160

GIF NOT MINE!!! Credit to @mcustarks go check them out❤️

Best Friends Brother

As your eyes glance around the beautiful garden filled with white chairs either side of the aisle with flower arrangements all the way to the alter. You can’t help but feel utterly enchanted by the scene, it’s stunning. However, you’re in the wrong place right now, Sue specifically asked you to meet her out back to help her get ready but as soon as you turnaround to head there, you bump into Johnny of all people.

To put it simply, Johnny isn’t exactly your favourite person and you’re not his either. Well, that’s a lie. When around others you don’t get along, you don’t hate each other you just don’t really have much to say since he’s always so cocky and you’re his older sisters best friend. But behind closed doors, the sexual chemistry is off the charts and you’ve spent too many nights tangled up in his sheets to count on two hands.

No one knows about your late night rendezvous though, especially Sue. And she can never find out. It would hurt her. You’re her best friend and Johnny is her little brother. So it’s a secret and it will always remain one.

“Wow” his lips curl up into a genuine smile as his eyes take in your figure in the floor length  dark purple bridesmaid dress you have on “you look, great” he says as he tugs on his bottom lip with his teeth, clearly unable to stop those dirty thoughts running wild in his head.

“Just great?” you ask, brow raising slightly before you chuckle and move to walk past him but he grabs your arm just in time to stop you from going anywhere “not just great, but gorgeous. In fact if this wasn’t my sisters wedding then i’d say you were the best looking one here” he turns his head in your direction, his dreamy blue eyes meeting yours, both filled with lust and need. But you can’t do this here. Today is Sue and Reed’s day.

“Johnny” you whisper lazily, the feel of his skin on yours makes you shiver with desire for him to fill you up, kiss you and make you cum around his cock multiple times but that will have to wait. You really need to snap out of this. So you do, you blink and look back up at him before slowly pulling away from “Sue needs me now, i have to go” and just like that he’s behind you, watching as you walk away. Mostly just to watch the way your ass moves in that dress. You can’t say you blame him though, your ass does look good.

The second you step foot indoors you hear Sue moaning about anything and everything to who sounds like Alicia.

“Your saviour is here” you announce and Sue turns around, beaming at you and you can’t help but stare at her. She looks absolutely breathtaking and her dress is the most beautiful you’ve ever seen. She looks just like a princess.  Alicia then leaves to go and check on Ben, leaving you two to it.

“Sue, you look amazing” tears brim in your eyes, drowning out your vision, she spots it immediately, rushing to hand you a tissue “don’t cry, don’t cry, don’t cry. You’ll ruin your makeup”

You take it from her, dabbing underneath your eyes before taking the eyeliner from her to re do what couldn’t be saved in time “i can’t believe you’re finally getting your big day” you finish zipping up her dress before helping her out with her veil.

“Well i’ve waited long enough” she laughs as you finish up and you turn her round so she can look at herself in the mirror.

“Now, i just need to finish my make-up. Help a girl out?”

You don’t even bother to respond, instead you start helping, picking up her bag of products. Her foundation is done so it’s just her eye makeup and lipstick that’s left to do. You go with a nice subtle smokey eye with a little silver glitter on top. Then to finish it off you apply some nude lip gloss to her lips before leaving her to do her own mascara, you would hate to mess it up after all.

“Oh i forgot to check with you, is Johnny outside?”

Even the mention of his name has an obvious effect on your body and it’s something you’ve never been able to control but instead of letting it show, you put your poker face on, clearing your throat and mumbling a quick “yes” and thank god she doesn’t catch on or say anything. You must have hid it well.

“Right, ladies the guests are arriving now and Reed is helping them all to their seats so are you ready?” Johnny pokes his head into the room and Sue nods, letting out a deep breath.

He glances at you before Sue walks over to him to make their way to the other room in which she’s going to be leaving out of to walk down the aisle, leaving you standing there sighing.

Guess it’s time for you to take your own place too. You follow closely behind them and then you and Alicia wait for your queue to go, she goes first, then you. Flowers in hand, smiling around at all of the guests, every one of them dressed up in bright colours, wedding hats galore. And as you take your place next to Alicia at the side of the alter, you watch your best friend walk down the aisle with pride. She means the world to you and if there’s one person who’s the most deserving of happiness, it’s her.

Reed wipes away tears as she stands next to him and you feel your heart melting, more tears forming. Johnny watches you from across the way, wiping your own tears of joy before his focus shifts to the vows.

Sometimes he gets urges to ask you out on a date but as quickly as those urges form, they fade. There’s not a chance in hell of you saying yes to him and he knows it. He’s just a hookup and he’s no stranger to half platonic relationships. He’s never particularly been one for commitment anyway but something about you changes his mind. Since you’ve been Sue’s best friend for god knows how long now, he’s watched many guys come and go in and out of your life. He’s watched and even listened to the many times Sue has held you whilst you cried and to tell the truth, he’s never been able to fathom why anyone would ever want to hurt you. Why anyone would ever cheat or leave you. He always had the biggest crush on you and it’s never left. 

Hence why one day he made a move, giving you his best cheesy pick up line at a party Sue threw one weekend. But you ignored him, it was only 2 hours into the party and you weren’t drunk enough to be taking him seriously. However, multiple drinks and shots later, he tried his luck again, and he hit the jackpot. You took him up on his offer. Whilst Sue was in the other room trying to clean up after her guests, you were in Johnny’s room, stripping off in-between heated open mouthed kisses.

It’s pretty obvious where that lead and the next day, you were so mad at yourself for letting it get that far. You cursed alcohol and your stupid brain as you quickly re dressed, repulsed at yourself and your actions. That’s when Johnny shot up, trying his best to make you stay, shutting the door as you tried to open it and standing in the way. You made eye contact with the player and he kissed you. You can’t recall anything else other than feeling captivated by him. His lips moved in sync with yours like they were always made to touch and you couldn’t control the way your body yearned for more.

And the rest is history. Since then you’ve been late night texting and meeting up whenever you could to hook up. Johnny eventually got his own apartment too which only lead to more often than not, the pair of you fucking like rabbits.

It hasn’t just been hookups though, as much as you’d love to lie and pretend that it doesn’t mean a thing, it does. You like Johnny, of course you do. He’s actually the only guy that’s ever been able to make you cum. The only guy who isn’t completely selfish in bed. He makes it all about you, every dam time and you feel torn when it comes to him. A huge part of you knows the two of you feel something deeper and more than just sex. You feel something more intimate. It’s definitely not love but it could be, one day.

Before you know it, you’re ripped from your Johnny themed thoughts as everyone starts cheering and clapping. You join in, watching Reed kiss Sue passionately before the two of them walk back up the aisle. You, Alicia, Johnny and Ben all follow behind with the guests joining in.

The reception is just inside and as soon as you all enter, the music begins. The real old school music. You’re The One That I Want from Grease. The DJ really has a way of luring everyone onto the dance floor right away. Usually at weddings, everyone sits down drinking and chilling before the buffet food comes out but not this wedding.

Sue grabs your hand and the two of you re enact the classic Sandy and Danny scene, overly dramatic though of course and unbeknownst to you, Johnny is watching your every move, unable to stop himself grinning like a cheshire cat. It’s very clear you’re having the time of your life and all he wants is to be able to dance with you.

Once the song is over, you walk around the room to look for the table that you’re going to be sitting at until you hear “over here” and you know that voice anywhere. You turn around to find Johnny sat down, a large glass of wine next to his beer. He ordered for you? Why?

“You’re next to me, hope that’s okay” he stands up, helping you into your chair and tucking it in for you before taking his seat again and sliding the glass of wine to you.

“White wine is still your favourite, right?” nerves fill his voice as he keeps his eyes locked on you “yes, it is. You remembered. Thank you” you waste no time in taking a big gulp of it, you can practically feel yourself getting aroused just by sitting next to the man and to think you’re going to have to deal with it the whole day is torture.

You press your thighs together, trying your hardest to stop whatever is happening in its tracks.

“You not going to dance some more?” he asks, sitting back in his chair, one arm draped round the back of yours “maybe in a minute, i’m still recovering from the first one” you giggle nervously, scared of being seen with him. Sure, you were put with him by Sue herself but what if your farce comes apart now, after all, he is being nice to you and the resting bitch face is missing instead a happy expression has taken its place.

Maybe no one will notice since it’s Sue’s big day, that could be the excuse you use if anyone says anything but then again, why should you care to make excuses? If you enjoy his company that shouldn’t be an issue. Maybe Sue won’t care. She’s always wanted Johnny to settle down with someone nice and you’re nice, right? She’s also wanted you to find someone too. But her best friend and brother getting together probably isn’t what she had in mind.

The song Crazy In Love by Beyonce comes on and Sue practically summons you to the dance floor, so you down the rest of your wine before you rush over to join her. Skipping the regular moves, you and Sue both start dancing like it’s just the two of you. No move off limits as you both grind your hips in circles, shaking your asses and laughing your heads off. She is the only person in this world that can make you laugh like that and you feel incredibly lucky to have her and to be here for her big day.

As your moves get more risqué you catch Johnny adjusting his cock in his dress trousers before drinking more of his beer.

The tension is building within you and you’ve never had to fight temptation so much in the whole year that you two have been doing this. You’re usually very good at waiting and making him wait for it but right now, it’s too hard. The next song that comes on is Check On It by Beyonce, again.

The more of the song that you dance to, you notice the lyrics surprisingly match your situation and a wave of confidence drenches you like rain.

If you got it flaunt it, boy I know you want it While I turn around you watch me check up on it Oh you watchin me shake it, I see it in ya face Ya can't take it, it's blazin’, you watch me in amazement

You continue to show off your best assets, making sure you tease and wind him up more before you make any kind of move which is what you usually do. Any time the two of you fool around, you make him wait and earn it, but it’s one of many reasons why he loves hooking up with you, you’re not easy, you know your worth and you’re 100% worth the wait.

The song finishes leaving yourself and Sue breathless almost. Reed stalks closer, handing his bride a drink and you head over to the bar to get another for yourself before sitting back down again. The buffet will be available soon and you’re desperate for something to eat. Peckish isn’t the word.

“Hello again” Johnny beams and you sip some more wine, a rather big sip yet again before you respond “hello. Are you gonna sit here the whole night?” you question with genuine curiosity, he only really danced a little when the Grease song was on but that’s about it and you aren’t oblivious to the other women checking him out.

“No i intend to dance i just need to be drunk enough for it first”

“I see, maybe then one of those lovely ladies will get a chance to dance with you” you say, observing one in particular who has been staring non stop.

“Please, i’d rather dance with you”

Your heart skips a beat and dare you say it, your vagina develops one. He’s such a sweet talker.

“You looked good out there, y’know” he motions towards the dance floor as if you didn’t already clock on to what he meant and you can’t deny the way your cheeks start to heat up as you thank him shyly.

That’s when he leans closer to your ear, his arm round the back of your chair again as he rasps “and that ass of yours in this dress, baby you got me so hard” his breath fans your neck as he returns to his normal sitting position but he doesn’t miss the way your breath hitches at the dirty comment. He knows all too well the effect he has on you and you know the effect you have on him.

In the past all it’s taken for him is for you to bite your lip and stare him down for him to get hard before. You’re his weakness.

Before you can even go to respond to him though, he clears his throat, tapping away on his phone as he stands up “anyway, if you’ll excuse me, nature calls” he slips his phone back into his pocket, walking away towards the toilets which just so happens to be right behind the DJ.

Your phone buzzes and you check to see a message from him ‘You coming?’ the text reads.

And that alone is enough for you to choke on your own saliva. You quickly sip your drink before standing up yourself and making your way over to the mens toilets. Thank God no one saw you.

“Johnny” you whisper yell until one of the cubicle doors opens, the bigger one at the end. He winks at you as he appears in the doorway and you strut over to him, allowing him to pull you in and lock the door. Your body is flush against his as he starts to kiss your collarbone first. If Johnny is anything it’s a man who loves to savour the moment. He hates quickies and loves to take his time with you.

You’re obviously not the first woman to fall victim to his touch but you’re the only one right now and you’re glad that he’s had experience, it’s clearly made him all the more sensational  in the bedroom.

“Oh” you throw your head back on a quiet moan, hoping not to be too loud despite music blasting outside making it impossible for anyone to hear you.

“Every time you dance, you drive me crazy. Shaking that perfect ass of yours in this dress, making me want you so bad” his lips hover over your sweet spot, his breath fanning it just like it did before.

You wrap your arms loosely round his neck as your back arches and his lips attack your neck like a man possessed, everything about this moment should feel wrong and yet it feels so right. The thought crosses your mind that everyone is out there dancing and most likely eating now all while Johnny is playing with your dress, lifting it up to reveal the new panties that you brought for today. Purple lace to match your dress.

“Oh baby” he groans, tugging on his bottom lip at the sight as his fingers wonder down and slip inside. His cold palm cups your sex making you shiver in surprise before he makes you forget all about it by spinning you around so that you’re pressed against the wall. Caged in by his muscular body as he towers over you.

He presses a chaste kiss to the back of your neck and heat starts to rise to your cheeks, you can’t contain the flustered feeling that fills you. He’s always had a way of being so dominant and stealing all control from you in an instant, since you’re so used to the roles being reversed in your life, he was more than into changing that. And to tell the truth, it’s one of the many reasons that you keep coming back. He pushes you out of your comfort zone in more ways than one.

His fingers play with the flimsy material of your new panties, grazing over your clit multiple times until you’re poking your ass out into his hand. “Someones keen, huh?” his low, raspy and taunting chuckle fills your ear sending shivers up and down your spine and causing goosebumps to form all over your hungry body.

“Please, Johnny” you beg pathetically, once again pushing back against his hand in hopes that he’ll get a move on and touch your properly. Which of course he does. You know he can never resist your charm. All the more reason why he’s slipping your panties to the side now so that his fingers can circle your arousal covered hole, almost dipping into your honey pot but holding back.

“Beg for it” he growls, taking your right earlobe between his teeth and biting down lightly “beg like the good girl i know you are” he continues and you gasp before breathing out a quick plea “p-please touch me Johnny, i need it” as your hands find purchase on the wall.

The feel of his knee spreading your legs apart gets you all the more excited for what’s the come and that’s when he gives you all that you’ve been craving, slipping two thick digits inside of you, coating them in your juices as they hit that spongy spot. He’s never had much trouble when it comes to finding your weak spots, he knows your body inside and out at this point and there’s not a time where you don’t cum when you’re with him.

“That good baby? My fingers getting that little cunt ready for my cock”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head in reaction to the pure filth leaving his not so innocent mouth and just as you go to let out a near enough pornographic style moan, throwing your head back too, the restroom door opens making you stop yourself. Footsteps make their way to one of the cubicles that just so happens to be next to the one your in.

Johnny then takes it upon himself to pull his drenched fingers out of you, reaching his hand in front of your face and shoving them into your mouth for you to suck on, using his free hand to undo his belt and now you know that you’re done for. You know exactly what he’s about to do. His cock rests at your entrance, staying there for a second before he slides in. Your walls welcome him in the best way, wrapping around his cock as he splits you open, stretching you beautifully yet again just like he does every time. The all too familiar feeling consumes you.

“You’d better be quiet if you don’t want to get caught” he mutters in hushed tones, switching it up so that his hand is fully covering your mouth, suffocating you as he drags his cock along your warm velvety walls deliciously. Obviously you don’t want to get caught but right now the anticipation of what could happen is enough to make you clamp down around him, earning a hiss.

A noise that obviously catches the attention of whomever is next door to your cubicle since the unsuspecting gentleman speaks up “are you okay in there, man?” shit. It’s Ben. You feel a wave of shame wash over you as Johnny picks his pace up slowly “yeah, everything's fine” he chirps, as if he has all the time in the world to converse when he’s buried balls deep inside of you.

“If you say so” Ben responds before flushing, washing his hands and then leaving the room. Now it’s just the two of you again. Johnny takes full advantage of the alone time by pushing you right up against the wall, your cheek squished against the tiles, his calloused hands splaying across your ass cheeks now and spreading them apart. Only so he can take a good look at the way he disappears into your tight chanel with ease.

“Doing so well baby, taking this cock like a fucking pro” he grunts, wrapping his hand around your neck and pulling your head back with the help of his other hand grabbing a fistful of your hair at the scalp but keeping your whole body pressed into the wall.

Sinful moans escape your mouth and at this point you’re way past the point of caring or trying to be quiet. Unless someone walks in then you’re going to let go and revel in the feel of him. The way his body traps you in makes your clit pulsate, you love being manhandled and you always have but only by him.

Anyone that takes even so much as a look at Johnny, they think ‘player’ and they’d be right but they’d also think he’d never be the type of man to be as filthy as he is in reality. Not only has he got a foul mouth on him but he’s kinky not to mention skilful in more areas than one. Dick and tongue game on point as well as those magical digits of his and the way they dance across your sex both delicately and brutally all at the same time.

You’re certainly not complaining though. 

“Fuck, Johnny” your back arches even more so than it was before as you shakily cry out his name with the kind of want that only he can spur on “what is it baby?”

“Don’t stop, i’m so close” you whimper desperately.

His pace is now rendering on animalistic as he fucks you into the wall with such vigor, wanting nothing more than to feel you come undone all over his cock, something he’ll never grow tired of.

“Come on then baby, give it to me” he eggs you on, keeping one hand wrapped around your neck still, tightening as the seconds tick by whilst his other hand smacks down on your exposed ass cheek, making it wobble a little which earns him a satisfied hum.

The two of you go crazy with you pushing back to meet his thrusts and him spanking your ass, both of you hungry for that release.

All of a sudden though the blaring music coming from outside stops. Making you panic. Johnny on the other hand is so close to reaching his peak and he knows you are too, so he doesn’t bother to stop.

But you hear the faint laughs of the wedding guests before what sounds like the DJ addressing everyone. Fuck. This better not be the speeches. You had one planned and so did Johnny.

He continues to fuck into you, grunting, growling and panting in your ear, driving you closer and closer to that edge. You can feel the coil twisting and turning in your stomach, on the verge of snapping at any second and you don’t think you’ll be able to hold back the noises when it happens.

“Gonna make you cream all over this cock baby and best believe i’ll be filling this sweet cunt up with my cum”

You rest your hand over his around your neck as your whole body starts to shake. You clench around his cock some more and just as you can taste the orgasm, the addition of his fingers pressing down on your clit push you off the edge and your head drops back onto his shoulder. The music starts up again, allowing you to really enjoy this. Your mouth hangs open whilst you scrunch your eyes closed, seeing stars as you fall into a pit of ecstasy. You can feel your legs shaking and threatening to give way but luckily for you Johnny moves his hands to your waist, wrapping around you so he can hold you up whilst he comes close to reaching his own end.

“Fuckkkkk, squeezing me so good baby”

You do it again for good measure and sure enough, he twitches inside of you, his hot cum painting your walls just like he said and a fucked out spent smile forms on your face making him laugh when he sees.

He rides the two of you through your highs before his thrusts come to a halt and he slowly pulls out. He then grabs some tissues, dropping to his knees and pressing yet another chaste kiss to your clit this time before cleaning you up. He can see that you’re struggling to stand so the second he’s done he rises to his feet, pulling you flush against him and then proceeding to push you up against the wall.

The two of you stare deep into each others eyes for a couple seconds, both of your chests rising and falling as you try to normalise your breathing. That was certainly an adventurous, dangerous and thrilling experience, one that you won’t be rushing to partake in again anytime soon. But it was amazing to say the least. The way he’s looking at you right now makes you want to throw caution to the wind and kiss him. So you do. You crash your lips to his, wrapping your arms loosely around his neck and as expected, he kisses back. His grip tightens on your hips, pulling you even closer if that’s even possible.

“What was that for?” he asks as you come up for air and you shrug, not even sure of what it was yourself. But all you know is you like him and this isn’t just some fling to you, some form of messing around until the two of you get bored. There is a genuine connection there, one that you can’t wait to explore some more.

“I don’t even know” you giggle, pecking his lips again.

Silence falls upon the two of you before he finally blurts out “go out with me” as if he’s telling you rather than asking.

“What?” you furrow your brows in confusion.

“Go out with me, on a date”

“I thought Johnny Storm didn’t do dates” you quip back, raising your brows with a smirk to match “i don’t but i’d like to try if it’s with you” and that alone warms your heart. The same heart that’s been crushed and broken so many times before and it’s almost like he’s mending it. Not that you’re complaining.

You take no longer than a second to think before you’re agreeing and kissing him some more. That’s when the music stops and you both look at each other.

He quickly zips up his pants, doing his belt up again and shrugging his jacket back on before turning back to you. With you both now looking decent again, you get him to check your makeup, he wipes the stray bits of mascara that smudged before kissing your forehead.

He lets you leave first whilst he waits an appropriate 2 minutes before he heads out too. No one suspected a thing and now it’s time for the speeches.

This is definitely going to be a wedding to remember...

---------------------

Me and all my hoe personalities after writing this one: 

General Tags: @deadlymistress24 @coffeebooksandfandom @chris-butt @holtzkinnon @mychemicalimagines @llamadelreyx @haus-of-bitch-talk @buckstaybucky @thewinchestergirl1208 @chrissquares @patzammit @dummiesshort @cevans-fics @americasass91 @toni9 @aaliferous @bradfordmyworld @thereisa8ella @kaminorogers @yassspose @randomsevans 

Just Chris & His Characters Tags: @onetwo3000 @persephonequeenofthedead @whiskeytangofoxtrot555 @rynabarnesrogers @princess-evans-addict @stxvercgersslut @chris-evanslover @bval-1 @thejemersoninferno @denisemarieangelina @janeyboo @evansphnx12 @whxre4cevans

LMK if you wanna be added to my tag list...

[jinxedpanda4life]

Criminal Investigator AU HC

I would first like to start off by saying thank you to everyone. 

I honestly did not expect the response I got to my Damirae Hospital AU HC list. 

When I first woke up and checked tumblr ~13 hours after posting I had a holy shit moment. 

I felt powerful, should I? Probably not. 

But! Since I am noticing a lack of AUs in the fandom, whether on Tumblr, AO3 or FanFiction.net, whatever AU comes to my mind I shall jot down some hcs for! 

Thank you all once again!

(Also trying format changes for easy reading)

(Also Also, I am thinking the story is less fluid but more episodic)

Let’s get started:

- So I’m thinking this is some FBI, SVU, and FBI BAU mixture or whatever. Basically all the great shows we know in love shoved together. From Bones to Criminal Minds and everything in between.

- Special Agent (Dr.) Raven Roth is a lead interrogator and is the resident psych consult. 

She’s been educated in interrogation, behavioral science, psychology, forensic pathology, and criminology. 

She has combat training (hand to hand), she carries (for her job) a gun and at all times has a knife/dagger on her person (people have stopped trying to figure out where she keeps them). 

Her father was/is crime boss T. Trigon who is currently imprisoned. 

Was born in the states but fled with her mother to Romania when she was a newborn.

When Trigon found them he killed Arella and took Raven, she was abut 9 - 10 years old.

She took her mother’s last name when she turned 18. 

Knows two languages besides English; French, Romanian, Romani (various dialects but knows multiple), Greek and Latin

On more than one occasion some goon of her father’s tries to recruit her, every time she kicks their ass. (Damian was there for the most recent (he was still green though))

Lives by herself in a decent sized apartment, has a gun safe (gun safety is important!), a cat (Nevermore), and is a regular at a 24/7 bookstore &/ cafe

Can usually be found wearing some kind of jacket, sweater, cardigan

She once helped save some kids (Melvin, Tommy & Teether) and is now their surrogate aunt, she has photos of them at her desk @ work. (Damian assumes/ed that they were her kids)

She also, when she can, hangs out and babysits them on occasion.

Raven is part of a team consisting of Dick Grayson (unit leader), Kori Anders, Garfield Logan, Jaime Reyes, and very recently Damian Wayne 

- Special Agent Damian Wayne is a lead investigator (he is still a bit fresh to the unit), translator, sniper and combat coordinator

He’s been educated in martial arts, explosives, hand to hand combat, close range combat, and combat (basically he knows how to kill you 9 ways to Sunday), also, behavioral science, computer science, criminology, linguistics and language. 

He can easily translate (into English): Arabic, Mandarin Chinese, Russian, Hindi, Bengali, French, Polish, German, Spanish, Portuguese, he can also learn any language you put in front of him and know the basics within a day

(Having lived in many places around the world he needed to be able to speak and understand in order to survive) (wow dramatic much?)

His father is currently the director (or deputy director, whatever floats ya boat) of the FBI.

His mother was essentially a secret agent who worked for various agencies around the globe. (deceased)

His grandfather was the leader of a, um, well to be honest, terrorist agency. (deceased)

Was sent to live with his father when he was 15 (when his mother died) and has been in the states ever since

Lives alone, he has an upscale apartment that he truthfully spends little time in, has multiple locations in the home where various weapons are stored, his place has a very cold atmosphere

Is either in proper work attire or in work out clothing, there is no in between

Tries and fails not to take work home with him

He sees a therapist (who says he should probably try investing in relationships with the people at his job)

His only “friend” (he hates calling him that, more like close acquaintance) is Jonathan Kent who was in his class at the FBI Academy, Jon works in a white collar crime department in Metropolis

The only person he actually kind of sort of doesn’t dislike is in fact Raven Roth, she’s a no bull shit person, he likes that

He may know Grayson because of how he’s Bruce’s kind of son but it does not mean he likes him

He finds Logan annoying as all hell, even if he is somewhat useful

He picked a fight with Reyes first day and regretted it (he will never admit that), he respects him

Anders is overly friendly in his opinion, kind of acts like a secretary with all that positivity and grates his nerves, he tolerates her

(Unlike last time I am not going in detail about the rest of the team, this will be brief)

- Supervisory Special Agent Dick Grayson (Unit Chief) is basically Dick Grayson with a big fancy title but all the same skills

He is also obsessed with Slade Wilson and Red X (who is Jason in this)

- Supervisory Special Agent Kori Anders is a lead investigator and is also a go to for undercover work

- Special Agent Garfield Logan is a lead interrogator, is head of the unit’s K-9 unit and kind of has a thing for Roth (which she does not reciprocate) 

- Special Agent Jaime Reyes is a tactical analyst, tech analyst and is head of the unit’s SWAT team, he does not do well with talking with people, or change

The Scarab is a computing program that Jaime created himself

STORY START:

- When Damian first joins the team there is another member, Special Agent Terra Markov, she is revealed as a sleeper agent but she aligns herself with the team and sadly is shot and killed in a fire fight

- A couple weeks after Agent Markov’s death everyone is talking about what they are doing for an upcoming holiday, Damian says probably nothing, Raven invites him to spend it with her and her “niece” and “nephews,” he declines

- About a day after the holiday Damian is home looking through case files when someone knocks on his door

-- It is Raven. He asks how she knew where he lived, she says she asked Dick, she also says that she knows how it feels to be alone and that he may be insufferable but it doesn’t mean he can’t have a friend

-- His response is saying he isn’t the kind to make friends with co workers

-- “I’m not asking to be your friend Damian, I am asking you to be his,” She reveals a small black great dane puppy “I know that other people aren’t really your thing, but having someone in your corner and waiting for you is always nice, even if it isn’t human.”

-- Damian invites her in, names the dog Titus and thanks her

-- “Just make sure no one tries to kidnap and kill you, we don’t need you to go full blown John Wick.” Damian has no idea who that is. Raven tells him it is an action movie series that he should watch. She leaves. He does watch them that night with Titus on his lap. (after having gone to the local pet supply store to get everything he needs) The action is inaccurate but he enjoyed the movies none the less, and decides that he probably would go into John Wick mode if someone hurt Titus.

- SA Roth and SA Wayne are sent to a high security federal prison to interrogate a prisoner, who refuses to speak

-- When they get into the interview room the prisoner does start to speak, but not in English and not in a language Damian is fluent in

-- Raven on the other hand immediately responds to the prisoner (shocking the prisoner and Damian) “He is speaking Romani though not the dialect of those overseas, he learned it here.” 

-- Damian is fascinated by it and they are essentially switching roles the entire time

-- They leave having successfully interviewing the prisoner, and Raven leaves behind a written list of common words in Romani so that they can possibly communicate with the prisoner better

-- As soon as they are on the plane back Damian asks her a myriad of questions from “How many languages do you know?” to “When did you learn that?” and even “Are you a spy? Sleeper agent? Part of a terrorist cell?”

-- “Not as many as you, when I was a child, if I was part of any of that you wouldn’t be asking.” The rest of the trip is spent with her teaching him Romani and even some Romanian

- Dick & Kori eventually get together and after a while they break up. Kori takes some vacation time. At the same Dick has been temporarily reassigned to another unit.

-- Chaos ensues

-- Garfield thinks he should be the interim unit chief, Jaime thinks the same, as does, you guessed it, Damian (Raven doesn’t want to she is comfortable with her role on the team)

-- In the end they are assigned an interim unit chief, SSA Jason Todd, who usually works overseas on covert op missions (not gonna lie this could easily flow into a Jayrae thing)

-- Everyone kind of falls into line, except Damian, Damian doesn’t like him for two reasons

1) He doesn’t act serious about the job 24/7

2) He has been flirting and hitting on Raven the moment he stepped into their sector 

-- Damian hates the names he gives her; “Little Bird,” “Sunshine,” “Princess,” “Rae,” (no one calls her Rae, not even Garfield, at least not after the incident) etc.

-- (Little does Damian know, Jason and Raven have worked together before and are actually friends)

-- This all comes to a head when Damian and Jason are the only ones still in the office after a tiring case.

          “You shouldn’t do that you know.”

           “Do what? All I am doing right now is contemplating where Grayson                    keeps the liquor.”

           “Call Raven all those names, she doesn’t like it.”

           “Really? Because if you haven’t noticed she hasn’t exactly asked me to                stop.”

           “She gets uncomfortable, maybe not to the extent of asking you to stop,              but she tenses up and her body language becomes slightly more                        agitated.”

          “You seem to pay a lot of attention in how she reacts to thinks baby brat.             Seems to me that you like her.”

           “Of course I like her, she is a good friend and reliable teammate.”

           “No, you like like her.”

           “That presumption is juvenile.”

           “But you don’t deny it.”

           “Tch.”

-- If anything after that conversation Jason seems to doubled his advances. Which confuses both Damian and Raven. Damian because it is inappropriate and HR will be hearing about this. Raven because she was under the assumption that she and Jason were just friends. (Jason actually does have genuine intentions but is like 60% just egging Damian on)

-- Eventually (far too long for Damian’s tastes), both Dick and Kori return. At first it is sooooooo awkward. Like mom and dad divorced have shared custody but don’t hate each other but also cannot look each other in the eye. ((Was that a mouthful? Good)) No one can really look at each other the same? Though they do have a meeting to sort it out, get everything out in the open.

- Raven’s annual kidnapping/attempt to convert her/torture comes almost exactly one year after Damian joined the team (this is his 2nd time dealing with this)

-- This time Damian is prepared. By prepared I mean Raven doesn’t even leave her apartment before she is taken to safety. 

    “Damian what is going on?”

    “Christmas came early this year that’s what.”

    “Christmas? What in gods name are you talking about.”

    “God has no dealings in this matter.”

    “You do realize you are sounding like a bad action movie? It is not even 6 am and I am in your car going somewhere, I have had little to no sleep and I am barely dressed. What is going on?” Damian hadn’t payed attention to what clothing Raven was wearing. His mind was on one goal. Find Raven, keep Raven safe. His eyes glanced off the road enough to realize she was indeed not properly dressed. Her body was merely adorned with an oversized tee-shirt, tiny barely there shorts and a pair of fluffy socks.

    “I apologize, it appears in my haste I did not leave you time to properly clothe yourself. As to why you are here, it seems your father and his people have shortened their waiting time this year from one year to a little more than ten months.” Ravens hands fisted her shirt. “This time I was prepared,” last time he was still new to everything, last time he made mistakes, this time there will be no mistakes. “Since our last encounter with your demon, so to speak, I have been setting in place precautions and safety measures to ensure Nevermore and yours’ safety. I have also been tracking the movements of his big players. If any came close I would mark it down. Multiple are entering the city at this moment. Seeing as you we taken last time I have made plans to ensure that will not happen again.” The car made a snap turn down an unfamiliar street pulling Raven from her clouded gaze.

    “So I am going to be okay this time?” Her voice was faint and restraining against hope.

    “You’re going to be okay.” His hand lightly held hers. Only to stop the shaking, they told themselves, only to make everything better. “Nevermore is with Titus at my place being watched by a friend of mine. I have already walked Grayson through everything we will not be expected at work this week, but we can work remotely.”

     “We?”

     “I’m not going to leave you. Ever.”

-- ((Sorry for the blocks of text))

-- As Raven finds out they are at one of Damian’s safe houses. The one least likely to be tied to her. It is fully stocked with food, has security cameras and if needed weapons. The only problem is that the only clothes there are Damians.

    “Thought of everything huh?”

     “I was following their pattern, I expected to have more time to acquire clothing for you.” (he was looking away and blushing, you cannot tell me he wasn’t)

-- Raven just resigns herself to wearing Damian’s clothes, yes his brain does stop working for a hot second when he sees her in only his clothes.

-- All attempts to try and retrieve codename: Gem of Scath are foiled (like some good math)

-- So many bonding moments happen. Cuddling (pure accident *rolls eyes*), eating together, inside jokes, etc. At one point Damian answers her phone (he disabled and disconnected the tracer) to one of the mob guys after them.

    “Hello?”

     “You can hide the gem but we will find her.”

     “I’m sorry, is there a jewel you are looking for? I don’t think I have and any jewels that I am coveting.”

     “We know you are with her! It is but a matter of time until we collect her.”

     “I hope you do eventually find whatever you are looking for sir, but I haven’t the slightest idea the gem you speak of. If you could give me a physical description? Is it a ruby, diamond, onyx? Is it round or more of a pear shape?”

    “...”

    “Well, I will look for it here, but I do not believe I possess what you speak of. Will you give me your number so I can call you back?” (The line cuts dead, and Raven can be seen laughing in the background, the phone was on speaker)

-- Once the team tracks down, arrests and interrogates all of the parties working for Trigon; Raven and Nevermore can go home. Though both are reluctant in their own way. Nevermore has grown attached to Titus, and Raven well Raven has feelings. Sadly, as Raven knows, feelings are dangerous to have in their line of work. 

-- Look at Dick and Kori they were together and then they fell apart and the team almost imploded.

-- What about Trigon if he finds out about Damian and how she feels towards him? What kind of danger will he be in then?

-- Like all of her feelings Raven puts them in a box and locks the box away. Not just figuratively, in her safe there is a box with: post its, torn papers, journals, etc. That box has a lock on it. Whenever she has a new feeling that she cannot ignore, like her feelings towards Special Agent Wayne, she takes out the box and writes her feelings down. They can range from a single sentence to pages worth. (Her feelings towards Damian fill a small notebook she has on hand). Once she has written all of her feelings out she places them in the box, locks said box and then places the locked box in her safe, which she then locks.

-- Is this a healthy way to cope with her feelings? Maybe not. But, it is way better than how Damian deals with his. Violence. Also art but violence comes first.

- At this point both Damian and Raven have caught the feelings (highly contagious I hear), which makes this a little awkward and a little not awkward. For one everyone but Raven knows how Damian feels towards her. He does things for her and with her that no one else gets the privilege to.

-- To list a few:

--- He brings her tea whenever he gets himself coffee or tea

--- He talks to her about what he does outside of work, even about his kind of friend definitely not enemy, Jon.

--- They socialize outside of work. Watching bad movies (some of them are not that bad), going to the park with Titus (they once got Nevermore in a leash and walked her), meeting each other before and after work to get breakfast or dinner.

--- He doesn’t glare at her

--- He allows physical contact between the two

--- He worries about her (hello he created an entire plan so that she wouldn’t get kidnapped, with contingencies and everything, garfield would be lucky to get a plan)

--- His eyes light up when she talks, or enters a room, or you know exists in his vicinity

--- He actually smiles around her (Dick caught him smiling once at Raven and he though Damian was having a stroke)

-- Even though everyone knows Damian likes Raven, very few know that Raven likes Damian back. (this only includes; Kori, Dick, Jason, Titus, Nevermore, and Melvin) She does do certain things that give herself away just like Damian.

--The list:

--- When Damian gets frustrated or angry she puts a hand on his arm, or holds his hand

--- She laughs at things he does (light chuckles, or little giggles)

--- She will talk to him about his interests and actively tries to have conversations with him about things unrelated to work.

--- She blushes when he does something unexpected (like a compliment)((Mostly she tries to hide it until he isn’t looking at her))(((Kori has caught the blush before)))

-- Luckily for them it does not take some cliche ‘One suddenly becomes in danger and the other one saves them only to be close to death and then they admit their love for one another and promise to go on a date when the other is healed’ situation. 

-- Damian actually asks Raven out after being tipped of by Jason and Dick that she may like him back. Damian finds out when they have days off at the same time and asks her while leaving work.

   “Raven, you have this weekend off correct?”

   “Yeah I do. I wasn’t planning on doing anything though. Did you have something in mind?”

    “Um, yeah, heh, I was wondering if you would do me the pleasure of going to dinner with me tomorrow.” *Awkwardly rubs back of neck*

    “Like a date or two friends going to dinner?” *Thinks she sounds harsh* “I am honestly fine with either since we are friends.” *nervous smile*

     “Like a date if that is okay with you of course.”

     “Yeah, yeah totally that is totally okay with me.” *Starts sounding like a teenage girl who only knows about 10 words, because she’s nervous*

      “Good, I’ll be by your place around 1830, if that is okay?” *nerve central, the central nervous system could never*

       “Yup that is totally fine with me.”

       “Great.”

       “Good.” The elevator opens in the knick of time.

       “See you tomorrow evening Agent Roth. Have a good night.”

        “You too, Agent Wayne, you too.”

-- When Damian does pick her up he feels like his brain is going to explode. She looks absolutely breathtaking. This is just like all the other times they’ve gone to dinner, except this restaurant is slightly fancier and they are on a date.

-- Raven feels as though all her emotions are leaking out at once, she has no idea what she is doing.

-- In the end they have a good time and decide to do it again. Damian does bring up that all of the breakfasts and dinners they regularly do could now be considered dates. Raven does not oppose that switch at all.

- Fast forward a handful of years (like 3?), Damian and Raven are moved in together (Nevermore and Titus are happy about this, they even allow the humans to adopt another pet, a cat named Alfred). Damian is now Supervisory Special Agent Wayne and is in charge of their unit. Raven has retired from field work and now works at the FBI academy and at Virginia State University. In about 6 months Damian is going to propose and Raven will say yes. Their wedding will be small but happy and full of life.

Once again I would like to thank everyone and all the support the previous post got.

Like last time if anything is disjointed, out of place or seems wrong, please go ahead and tell me. I have been working on this since the last one, but have finally had the time to finish it.

I hope the new year will bring us all some good. Possibly more head canons to come.

[lavenderek]

Why were you disappointed by the Howl's Moving Castle movie? I think I read the book years ago, but I don't remember much about it

i'm gonna critique the gibbly movie and it's my understanding that it's a special movie for a lot of people so if that's you feel free to skip this one

so i was delighted and enchanted by the book, which has only twice to date not made the movie a devastating letdown, so my dear friend sending me this book was pretty much signing a contract in her own blood accepting that i would be cranky about the movie. i'm not really a ghibli person either, like i can appreciate the artistry and value in them, and i'll watch it if the people i'm with really need to watch princess mononoke or whatever, but i just don't go out of my way to watch them. (i like reading meta about spirited away, though.)

i did go out of my way to watch this one because i loved the book so much.

it's important to remember the culture in which the movie was made as opposed to the culture in which the book was made. howl is welsh, if that says anything to you. (his name is howell, and he adopted the name howl to run from himself and seem more magical. i love him and movie howl had none of those elements except for when he told us he was a coward and i was like. ok lol, i'll jot that down because i didn't see it in the text)

so i'm not necessarily surprised by the creative changes they made, but i am confused, because those changes drastically affect the characterization, the character motivations, and the pacing of the story.

(i also was only able to get my hands on the dub and i loathe and detest christian bale as howl lmfao but that's subjective)

so first of all, does movie sophie, like, want anything? she's flawless as a character. even though she has a completely different personality as an old lady than she does as a young lady, there's nothing wrong with her. everybody is fond of her, she's shy, she's gentle, she's beautiful, and she's kind, and her only motivation in the whole movie is this vague desire to cure the curse, but even then she doesn't work on it much at all. her life before howl is about being buffeted around like a leaf in the wind, and her life after howl is about being buffeted around like a cow in a twister. sophie in the movie is a blank slate. she is insecure about her looks (seriously, they couldn't even give her like a crooked nose or something, only doll-faced, thin, pale women over here), and her confessing this and crying about it for about four seconds was the first truly deep emotional response i had seen of her. i cried when she cried, who doesn't grapple with feelings of inadequacy? then the kid came out and she was like, okay, i'm done being upset now :)

second of all, howl is a little eccentric, but mostly he's just a glorious gentleman who has a messy room and one (1) overly dramatic depressive episode. it was disturbing to me as a viewer because it was violent and came out of nowhere, and it never comes back again lmao. it was so bizarre, he's introduced as this suave, debonair man in a cape, and he stays that way the entire movie, except for a weird moment in the middle where he screams at sophie naked and then lists the character flaws that we the viewers have never witnessed. why does he like sophie? why does sophie like him?

why did they turn michael into a child? i just don't see what that added to the story lmao. i get them taking out the complexity of secrets involving sophie's decidedly interchangeable sisters and their mystery beaus, it's a lot to fit into a little movie; but like, why did they turn him into a child though lmao

there's a lot of fatphobia in the movie too.

the change that upset me the most, though, was that the element of sophie having the ability to influence things without her knowledge was totally abandoned. like i said, things just sort of happen to her. in the book, her hats are the most lovely because she's inadvertently cast spells on them to make whoever wears them seem alluring or mysterious to people. the witch curses her because she recognizes these little spells and believes sophie's trying and failing to trick her (and also because sophie snaps at her lmao, why is movie sophie only an asshole when she's old? leave my daughter alone).

book sophie unknowingly protects howl by worrying over his cape (which she previously shredded because she got mad at him, i love her), she unknowingly enchants the scarecrow by helping it stand and complimenting it. she does that the entire book. she also starts the book already feeling sort of dull and trapped, and spends the story trying desperately to solve mysteries and protect loved ones. movie sophie doesn't like, sit around and knit demurely, don't get me wrong; but all the major plot points are things that howl makes happen to her lol.

i think the scarecrow is an excellent representation of book sophie's inner struggles. it's something she inadvertently enchanted, and she doesn't understand it, so she runs from it. she's terrified of the thing. in that way it kind of stands in for her own agency: only when she was forcibly in disguise did she feel free to find out what she wants her life to look like, and that kind of power is foreign and frightening to her. i loved that for her.

and very late in the book, howl reveals that he knew all along she was under a spell, that he tried to get rid of it out of curiosity (book howl doesn't seem to notice that he's just as imperious and nosy as sophie is), but she resisted it. he couldn't get the spell off. so he assumed she wanted to stay that way and let her be about it. so basically it's very huck finn on the raft, she realizes that in running to get away, she was already away. she had that agency all along.

all of that was missing from movie sophie. the idea of her inadvertently hanging on to the curse is still there, we see that she sort of fades back to her young self while she's asleep (not the case in the book, we know this because howl doesn't know what she looks like until she turns back in the end); but she doesn't seem to gain any knowledge about herself because of this. the only time she seems to have any personal drive, it's to learn about and help howl. her inner struggles are about howl. and i hated movie howl lmao, i hated his design and i hated his voice and i hated how like, patronizing he was to everyone around him. book howl was a condescending dick at times and just weird and distant at others, but he never came across like he was absolutely positive he was seducing sophie at any given moment. it was clear that he was the star of the movie and sophie was just the audience stand in to be like 🤩🥸🧐

the scarecrow who is a prince was the most hilariously egregious moment in the entire movie. in the book, the missing prince is introduced as a plot in the beginning and is referenced repeatedly throughout. and he's a major player in the climax. in the movie, it's the last like five minutes of the film and the scarecrow turns into a dapper boy with bread for hair and is like, "you've cured me! i'm a prince who went missing from a nearby kingdom and i was cursed but now i'm free." and i was like NICE, so we just found out there's a nearby kingdom that has a prince who's been missing. love that for us

the book had a lot of themes that i don't often encounter in fantasy novels - themes of female agency, of disguise, and of chaos. the chaos is my favorite part, every chapter is equally chaotic at various levels. you'll have michael fretting over some spell, sophie fretting over her own spell, howl trying to get someone in disguise to fall in love with him, THAT someone pining over michael, and all the while sophie and howl are bickering because she is cleaning (it seems like she cleans to clean up her mind) and he doesnt want her to (he is afraid of change and of reality), and he needs a huge favor of her, and she needs to wheedle out of it, and she promised calcifer she would free him, and calcifer is repeatedly promising to die of not being appreciated enough, and everybody is having three arguments at once. it's like that in every chapter, culminating in the moment howl and sophie realize they're in love, and they stand clasping hands and sort of smiling at each other in the middle of a room full of panicking and perplexed people just yelling over each other lmfao. surrounded by chaos and no longer thrown by it, rooted there in the middle of it, stabilizing each other in a way. i loved that. i actually flipped back a few pages so i could read that moment again.

and it seemed to me that the movie tried to imply that with visual chaos, but everything else was really quite linear and simple. everything was very airy. and since the conflama and the general atmosphere and character dynamics of the book is what made me fall in love with it, the movie didn't work for me.

tumblr user door pointed out that the book and the movie are extremely different and she appreciates them both as separate entities, and she's wise and correct; i knew this and i tried so hard to engage with the movie on its own terms. but i couldn't divorce them in my mind. i felt the same way about ella enchanted and practical magic. i cant stop thinking like, i wish they hadn't gotten rid of x, i wish they hadn't added this weird element of y.

also it was boring. i checked to see how much more was left three times. sorry. i can't express enough how little i cared about the plot with the witch and somebody's secretly evil boss and time traveling to yell at howl or something, because i didn't connect with the characters. and the feathers growing out of howl triggered my weird phobia about things being embedded in skin. i'm skeeved just remembering it.

anyway, yeah. the movie was beautifully animated and whatever atmosphere they were going for was pretty consistent throughout. oh and i LOVED calcifer. he was my favorite in both the book and the movie. in fact, he was the only character in the movie who they didn't really change, he was petty and bitchy in both versions. i loved him. he's like, "SHE FED ME SOMETHING YUCKY" my perfect, horrible boy.

oh and. book sophie was a redhead. that's all.

after i finished the book i tried to draw how imagined them:

couldn't finish it though, i wasn't super jazzed about how it was coming out.

she's sitting in like, a window well altering a coat of his without permission. and he's like, i guess i'll have to wear this one instead, and she's like, i guess you will

[hotspringfairy]

December 29, 2020

I followed a prompt to think about why I want to lose weight and how I think that will make me feel. The idea is that we want to lose weight because we think it'll make us feel a certain way. Then you were suppose to narrow those feelings down to a word or two.

I came up with two phrases: I want to feel light and free; I want to feel strong and capable.

I really want to go on adventures and be able to enjoy life into my winter years. But I'm starting to get really frustrated with everyone making weightloss about how I look. I have no problem with having aesthetic goals- that's toats cool. But I feel like so much of weightloss is overly-centered on looks. Everyone I know on Tumblr has been great! So not you guys lol. I only have a couple people I talk to irl about my weightloss; I've explained my motivations multiple times and they've brought that up occasionally, but every comment, compliment, question, etc. seems centered around my looks.

Also, if you weren't willing to say something about my larger body when I was in it, you can freaking keep that to yourself now. I loved myself at 250 pounds and frankly it disgusts me to hear my friends' real opinions about how I looked then. Like people just assume I hate my fat body as much as they apparently do- sorry but I just don't. I might be being a little dramatic here, but it's hurtful and gets under my skin, and I have to be nice about it because they're always trying to be nice.

Well it's been bothering me more and more that weightloss has to be about looks. I can't change that, so I'm going to try to relate to it differently- embrace it. I do like that other people think I look better and treat me better. But aren't I also excited to feel like I look better? I have been loving how much better my clothes fit me and the more weight I lose the more clothing options I have. But what about my actual body?

I learned to love my fat body, to feel sexy in it, to appreciate it. Will I feel that way about my new body after I lose the weight? I'm starting to see a lot of loose skin and my bat wings do not make me happy. I'll probably prefer having potentially a lot of loose skin and hanging bits to being obese, but my fat is the devil I know. Of course I think I'll learn to love myself just the same, but will I feel more beautiful? Do I aesthetically want to be skinny?

Yes, yes I do. I want to feel skinny. It's hard to explain what the means to me exactly but I can't deny it. For most of my life I've wanted to be skinny. Only in the past 3 years or so has my focus turned to my health this much. For me, separating my weight from my looks was a part of what helped guide me to better weightloss and health information and it just makes sense to me. But at the end of the day, I believe that I will like how I look better if I lose more weight. Me- I will personally like it better.

So I'm going to try to embrace the comments about my looks and let them motivate and empower me instead of bringing me down. I want to feel light and free, strong and capable. I also want to feel skinny. I'm adding it to the list.

[emeraldbiscuit]

Bunnies

Bnha Spring Time Event 

Word Count: 1.8k

for at @quintessential-kaminari​ -  🌸 

Note: I’m so sorry for this being late, tumblr has never deleted one of my fics before so that was a surprise. I really enjoyed talking to you and stuff, I hope we can be friends :), anywayyyy, I hope you enjoy ^-^

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

I was awoken by the warm spring hues that beamed through the gap of my curtains. I groaned at the disruption of my tranquil sleeping state. I rolled over on my soft bed away from the window to avoid the blinding lights, while I reached over and grabbed the nearest stuffed animal - which so happened to be my favourite, my grey and white bunny squishmallow with an adorable pink button nose named Princess Sparkle - and promptly placed it over my face to prevent the light from disturbing me more.

My new-found peace didn't last long though. The offensive beeping from my alarm quickly brought me to the realm on the awake and living. I lazily reached over to my nightstand and picked up my phone to dismiss the alarm and check the time, 08:32. I grumbled knowing I had to get up or I would be late. 

You see, I had my first date with my forever long crush, Denki Kaminari, but I am regretting agreeing to a date for so early in the day. Who in their right mind agrees to go on a date at 9 in the morning, who?? I sluggishly removed my blanket off of my frame before I sat up and swung my legs over the edge of my bed, hissing slightly as my feet made contact with the chilly flooring. 

I tried my best to ignore the aching cold attacking my feet while I walked over to my window and dramatically opened my curtains. My eyes forcefully went into a squint due to the overly colourful skylights that reached my window.

I should probably stop spending so much time inside, then maybe I could adjust to the sun easier, I thought to myself as I made way to my closet to find a cute outfit to wear. I look through my closet for a good few minutes before making a choice. I ended up deciding on a black skater skirt along with a light pink off the shoulder top, as well as a pair of super fluffy baby pink socks with lilac hightops converse.

I moved to stand in front of my mirror. "I look cute as hell" I muttered to myself as I grabbed my brush to brush out my bedhead then put on my favourite stary hair clip to help keep my hair out of my face.

Satisfied with how I looked, I grabbed my phone, keys and a small black purse to hold my items before leaving. I quickly checked the time 08:56 as I left my house. He said he'd pick me up so I guess I'll just wait. I wonder what he has planned since he refused to tell me cause "It's a surprise but wear something cute yet comfortable"

I was pulled out of my thoughts when I caught a glance of warm blonde hair out of the corner of my eye. I smiled brightly knowing who it was, I quickly waved to Denki and walked over to him. He was wearing a pair of denim jeans along with a plain white t-shirt with a light blue dress shirt on top left unbutton along with blue converse. He also had a black bag on his back.

"Hiya Denki!" I said with a cheerful tone, honestly, I was super excited for today and what he had planned - but also super nervous. Eek.

“Hey y/n!!” He said with a large amount of excitement dripping from his voice, my smile only brightened at his excitement. Denki leaned in for a hug which I happily accepted, the scent of his cologne engulfing my airways.

"So, what do you have planned for today?" I asked after I felt his slightly chapped but moistened lips press softly against my cheek before he pulled away from the warm embrace we shared.

He brought a finger to my lips and pressed against them gently as a way to shush me "You will know all in good time, my little buttercup" He held out his arm and gestured for me to hold it.

I rolled my eyes at the nickname as I felt the blood rush to my cheeks "Alright, my prince charming" I intertwined my arm with his as I allowed him to lead the way.

"I know I should have said this earlier but you look really pretty today" He stopped walking and started frantically shaking his arms like a mad man "N-not that you don't look pretty every day but today you just look extra pretty!!" He added but didn't seem to stop his weird actions. "Ahh!! I'm not tryna say you look less pretty on other days" He took a deep breath to help calm himself down "You just look ultra nice today" He paused before continuing "I mean every day, you also look nice every day"

I giggled at his dramatic acts "Thanks, Denki. You look good too"

For the rest of our walk to an undisclosed location, we shared a small conversation full of laughs and giggles and some very awkward unprotected handholding.

We eventually reached a huge gate, decorated with gorgeous flowers and dense greenery. I looked over at Denki confused on what he had plans, all I knew about this place was that it was a botanical garden. I think I was having a conversation about them with someone one day, is that where he got the idea from? Who knows

He linked his arm with him and lead us through the beautiful gate, the garden itself was stunning. Full to the brim with all sorts of artistic flowers with such vibrant but soft colours contrasting with all the earthy greens of the stems. It was honestly a sight to behold, it was beautiful in every single way, there was not one single fault in the place.

"It's so beautiful," I thought aloud, my eyes sparkled with enthusiasm to see the rest of the captivating blooms.

"Nowhere near as beautiful as you, sweetcheeks," Denki said without a hint of hesitation. "Now, may I have this walk M'lady"

I nodded "You may," I said with a small giggle. Truth be told, he could have brought to hang out at the back of a dumpster and I would still be happy as long as I got to spend time with him. He seriously does just brighten up a room.

We walked around the garden, admiring all the scenery. There was quite a lot of people, some couples, some just families with their children. Some of the parents were being careless and letting their kids jump all over the flowers ruining the lovely flowers, kinda heartbreaking to see the growth of the flowers just scattered on the ground in the form of petals.

I was brought back into the world when I heard Denki's voice but I didn't quite hear what he said. But whatever it was, it certainly made him flustered.

"Denki? Are you alright?" I looked up at him with concern filling my eyes. His face was bright red and he was consciously avoiding eye contact.

"Y-yeah, I'm fine. Just, um...you wanna eat? I brought picnic food" He asked while looking at the ground.

“Sure,” I said with a smile.

He nodded and looked up to look for somewhere to sit. He spotted a bench and wasted no time leading me to it. We sat down on the bench with our knees touching slightly.

Denki opened his bag and brought out a collection of sandwiches and snacks. “I had to ask Mina what you liked,” He said with a chuckle.

I smiled knowing he cared enough to ask what I liked. Maybe this could actually go somewhere. 

We dug into the food he brought and started talking about the most random of things. I really do enjoy spending time with him, he’s so much fun and he brought my favourite foods with him. Like how sweet is that?

I was listening to him talking about a new game he got but I lowkey zoned out cause his voice was just so calming to listen to. Though the peace didn’t last since I heard a large scream come from Denki. I looked around for could have possibly scared him - to which there didn’t appear to be anything.

I looked over at him confused, as he is now sitting on the top of the bench shaking and staring at the ground. I looked down to see a small ball fluff, also known as a bunny-rabbit. 

“Denki, are you scared of a bunny?” I asked, trying to hold back a laugh. How could someone be scared of something so cute?

“Yes, they’re evil carrot munchers!” He shouted while pointing at the bunny.

I rolled my eyes and reached down to pick up the bunny (don’t pick up wild animals) and started to pet the creature. “Denki, they’re not going to hurt you, they’re just fluff balls and they can’t actually eat carrots. They’re bad for them” I said while cradling the fluff ball “Aren’t you just the cutest, yes you are, oh yes you are”

Denki didn't appear to become any less frightened from the bunny. I looked at him sympathetically before putting the bunny down and letting it hop away into some bushed. I joined Denki sitting on the back of the bench and wrapped an arm around him, pulling him in close.

"I'm sorry, you must probably think I'm pathetic now..." He said while looking down, he was still shaking with fear.

I placed a soft kiss against his cheek before whispering in his ear "That's the last thing I think, Denki, everyone has their own fears. I'm sorry, is there any way I can make it up to you?"

"I suppose there might be a way" He sniffled and wiped away some tears I didn't notice existed.

I held his hand and rubbed circles on the back of his hand in a comforting manner as I waited for him to continue talking. I didn't realise someone could be so scared of a bunny but the more you know.

"I think a kiss would help," He said while looking up at me with hopeful eyes.

I looked at him shocked for a second, I guess his flirtatiousness doesn't stop even when he's scared. I giggled before leaning in, giving him a quick peck on the lips. "Is that better?"  

He pouted "No, I wasn't ready," He said with a whiney tone.

"You should have been paying attention then," I said before standing up and holding out my hand "Wanna continue? I'll protect you from any evil fluffy creatures"

Denki took hold of my hand and we continued our date. We finished the walk around the garden and he walked me home.

I leaned against my front door and looked at Denki. I nervously fiddled with my fingers as I struggled to keep eye contact "I really enjoyed today and I wouldn't mind doing it again sometime" 

Denki looked shocked "Really!? Oh hell yeah, I'd love to"

I smiled softly at him "Cool. I'll, uh, text you at some point"

[moviestorian]

Im glad the asks helped! I have anxiety and depression and can understand what youre going through. My ask today is what are your thoughts on Bo Rhap as a movie?

Thanks! :) I’m above all extremely happy to see people on this site being so kind and supportive in time of need, it’s a human quality that will never get enough praise! I’m also really sorry to hear about your problems. :( I send you lots of love, I can imagine how difficult it must be for you, but I’m sure you're strong and coping❤️

As for your actual question - that’s some truly excellent and interesting timing, considering that I rewatched BoRhap (with @incblackbird) literally three days ago. :P It was already my third rewatch, and while I enjoyed the movie overall, I liked it quite significantly less than upon the last time I saw it. Of course, there’s been gazillion discourses about BoRhap, whether it’s genius, extremely evil, etc., but since it’s such a broad topic (and I think some of my opinions could potentially outrage certain parts of the fandom), this time I’m going to stick to purely cinematic terms.

Needless to say, the soundtrack is excellent - with music such as Queen’s you don’t really have to do much, but they made a good choice of songs, alternating between their best known hits (We Will Rock You, Somebody to Love, Bohemian Rhapsody) and songs to fit the narrative (Doing All Right, Now I’m Here, Who Wants to Live Forever, Love of my Life). It’s practically impossible to leave the screening of BoRhap without at least one Queen song stuck in your head.

The cast was overall very good, too. My personal favourites in terms of acting were Gwilym Lee (who I liked even more than Rami), Rami Malek, Lucy Boynton and Allen Leech - I think they did a great job with their roles as they were written (whether their characters were well written or not is a subject for a whole another discussion). All the side characters were well acted, too (Mike Myers, Meneka Das and Aaron McCusker, for instance, I found particularly memorable), but I must admit I wasn’t a big fan of Joe Mazzello and Ben Hardy, but even they weren’t bad. So, acting is definitely one of the strongest points of the film.

Moving on, I also think they did a great job when it comes to costumes (Brian lending some of his old clothing definitely helped) and make-up (except for Roger’s wigs, perhaps); the choreography and stage movement for the characters were super well done, too - and it definitely wasn’t an easy task!

Now, let’s discuss cinematography. I will talk about editing in a separate paragraph, so for now I’m gonna stick to other aspects. The composition of shots struck me as rather mediocre, nothing particularly exceptional in either good or bad way, it was pretty basic but rather correct. Of course, there were some shots I really liked, but if I were to start adding screenshots the post would become way too long. XD The colours I really liked, especially in the musical scenes - they were vivid and lovely, and they used a combination of colours that I tend to appreciate in cinema, like various shades of blue and red. Finally, the camerawork - for dialogue scenes it was correct; again, rather average with some use of handheld camera which served no particular dramatic purpose, but it wasn’t nowhere near very bad, also it’s quite a common thing in modern biopics I would say. Handheld camerawork isn’t bad in default, but my comment largely comes from my personal preferences: in most cases I don’t really like it, especially when it’s particularly shaky. Then, there are scenes in BoRhap which display excellent camerawork, namely Live Aid and We Will Rock You scenes. If most scenes were filmed like that, I would give the movie a higher rating.

Before I move to the worst (imo) cinematic aspects of the movie, let’s have a look at writing. It is probably the most divisive thing in the fandom - people seem to either adore or absolutely loathe it; my stance lies somewhere inbetween. The first time I saw the film (I’m gonna remind you that I’ve seen it four times), I had certain objections, but the script didn’t bother me all that much; I was mostly simply having fun in the cinema. With every next watching, the experience was getting gradually worse, but even now I don’t hate the movie. Yes, some of the dialogue is cheesy, trite and makes me cringe a bit - certain parts of the script definitely end on an “overly sentimental” territory, I can’t deny that. Knowing quite a lot about Freddie, Queen and their stories, I generally think they deserve a better script; some characterisation was a bit offputting and chronology was all over the place. Having said that, I understand where some of those narrative choices come from, as scripts for mainstream movies require oversimplification of events, archetypes, and patterns. And quite frankly, I don’t think BoRhap differs any drastically from most modern biopics; it’s not a masterpiece, but - in my opinion - it’s also not bad overall. Regardless the flaws of the script, the movie still managed to emotionally affect a huge, if not major, portion of viewers, entertain and move them, and honestly? I think that was pretty much the point. Btw, there were some lines that I really loved, like “Puritans in public, perverts in private”, and I still think that their decision to cut from Live Aid performance to Ray Foster’s grim face during We Are the Champions was the funniest shit ever. XD Would BoRhap’s script benefit from sticking to historical accuracy? I’m gonna say yes, I think so - the scenes that were the closest to actual events are definitely the strongest - but this approach would require tons of changes, including narrowing down the narrative scope and probably the characters, too. Also, a lot of people keep forgetting that this is not an arthouse, niche film and therefore resorts to narrative and cinematic choice that compromise between satisfying the fans and the newbies; it’s meant to tell a (simple) story and entertain, not educate and provoke existential and philosophical debates. Still, I think the script could have been done a bit better, because some scenes  (the tour “Now I’m Here” montage) feel a bit...random?

Finally, the infamous editing. I totally agree that it was one of the most undeserving Academy Awards that year, because some scenes were simply atrocious, with their unmotivated and overly fast cuts and unreasonably ridiculous face that doesn’t fit the dialogue scenes, and those are honestly the worst when it comes to pacing and editing. I think the editing is the worst aspect of BoRhap; but even here, I could point at some examples of pretty amazing editing (Oscar-worthy? Not necessarily, but definitely very good); again, I’m gonna bring up Live Aid and “We Will Rock You” scenes, especially the latter, because less people talk about it. I already mentioned that it has some really nice camerawork AND colours, but also the editing is actually really cool, because it’s cut to the music! Which makes me think: “what a shame!”, because if they went with different editing choices, the movie would be affected in a positive way. The way we have it, it’s either a hit or miss (sadly, mostly miss), and the badly edited scenes are pretty striking, so the ones that are done nicely are unfortunately a wasted potential.

Okay, this is already waaay too long, so I’m just gonna finish with a few general remarks. Well, despite BoRhap’s flaws, I still like and enjoy it. With every screening slightly less, but enjoy it anyway. I don’t think any amount of discourse will ever take away my positive experiences and memories from seeing it twice in cinema. It sparked my previously dormant love for Queen and united me with some people in the fandom and in real life; making this movie made Brian and Roger happy; as a result, I like this movie. It brings back a lot of positive recollections, which sometimes is more important than critical discussions. And boy, do I adore those - I’m often critical and I adore analysing stuff academically; but I think that not all daily interactions require those and depending on who’s asking and what about, I’m capable of switching between the two options. If somebody asks me in 25 years whether I remember the times of BoRhap’s release, I’ll be far less likely to say “yeah, the editing sucked and writing was cringy, I remember the discourse on tumblr and instagram” than “Yes, I remember that chilly evening in December when I had a really fun time and ended up with 10 Queen songs stuck in my head”, because the latter is the experience I want to remember.

Thank you for this ask! Hope it wasn’t overly exhausting to read, I didn’t proofread this, sorry! xx

[theladylovingcrow]

New Places, Friendly Faces Part 3 (Sanny)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

Author (As known on Various sites): Lady Lover- Rockfic, Luluthechoosingcrow - AO3, theladylovingcrow - Deviantart and Wattpad, @sammy_bluebells - Instagram, @imacrowcawcaw - main Tumblr, @theladylovingcrow - writing/art Tumblr, @insannywestan - Sanny shipping Tumblr

Fandom: Greta Van Fleet

Pairing: Sam Kiszka/Danny Wagner (Sanny), lil bit of Danny/Ronnie but he's quickly swept away with Sam

Length: about 2.3k

Warnings/Tags: Alternate Universe, Diner AU, No band AU, fluff, some angst, awkwardness, first dates, you know the ones where person A's date is failing and person B comes and sits with them, sorry i forgot what its called but that, hand holding, flirting, Sanny

Summary: Danny was nervous; he had been building up the courage for *weeks* to arrange a date, and now.... He wasn't quite sure what to think of the situation he found himself in. The night certainly wasn't going as he had expected it to - and his emotions had never ridden a roller coaster this fast. Hell, the beautiful angel holding his hand wasn't even the one he had arranged to meet 2 hours ago.

Author's Notes: Yep! I've officially adopted an every Monday post schedule for this, so that's cool! Just an fyi about the ending of this chapter, I'm so sorry to disappoint of you're hoping for a magical portal but that's not it (that wpuld have been cool but this is a mundane story)

https://theladylovingcrow.tumblr.com/post/189298208331/new-places-friendly-faces-part-2-sanny

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"Right... well, I'm officially off duty once I ring you up, so why don't you two get out of here and have some fun."

Danny fished into his pocket one handed, finding his wallet. He tried to open it and get a ten out while still holding on to Sam, but it was pretty difficult so he was forced to let go in order to pay. He thought it was a little overly dramatic of his heart, but it literally stopped beating out of disappointment for a second. God. He was already completely whipped.

Sam stood up and grabbed the keys, going back to his other table to put on his coat while Danny got his change back from Ronnie. She, now sitting at the table with her other brothers, waved them goodbye as they exited the cozy diner, stepping out into the frigid snow.

Sam immediately grabbed Danny's hand back, putting both of them in his pocket as he started to walk around the back of the building to the employee's section of the parking lot.

Sam suddenly stopped, turning to look at Danny. "Shit, wait, how did you come here? Do you have a car?"

"Uhh, my mom dropped me off."

Sam nodded and kept walking. Danny, for some reason, didn't want to leave it at that - Sam didn't seem overly judgemental, but he wanted to show that he wasn't a completely helpless dork.

"Usually I get her car on the weekends," he continued, "but she had some thing to attend over in North Star and she couldn't get a ride. She brought me here and gave me money for the bus to take home."

"Hey, well, now you don't have to take the bus!"

Sam grinned at him, unlocking the door to his sister's car and opening it for Danny. He smiled to himself and ducked his head, getting in. Fuck whatever societal expectations - not like they really applied to gay couples anyways - he loved to be treated sweetly, too.

Starting the ignition and carefully backing out of the parking space, Sam laughed, loud and happy. Danny looked at him curiously.

"Oh my god, I just picked up a total hottie and we're going on a rendezvous in my sister's car! This is crazy!"

Danny laughed, too, amazed at the situation. Like, holy shit, he was in this guy's (sister's) car that he had met less than an hour ago and they were on their way to who knew where. And he didn't even care! Never in his life had Danny been less concerned about the future; his music, his golfing, school, the world at large, none of it mattered when Sam was sitting next to him, singing along to Jimi Hendrix and looking absolutely stunning in the passing lamplight.

They drove for a time, speeding past cozy houses and dense acres of trees that outlined the starlit sky. Sam didn't seem to have a destination in mind any time soon, and Danny didn't really care if the car never stopped driving. The radio started to fuzz out as the got further into the woods, and nothing but an old talk show was coming in, so Sam had Danny put in his Clapton CD he'd left in Ronnie's car.

"I was looking for that! Figured I'd left it in here, but I don't get the car as often now that she's working more."

Danny nodded, enjoying hearing these little bits about Sam's siblings. It always interested him - learning small facts about people and getting glimpses into their lives, even more so when he was very interested in that person themselves, too.

"So, Ronnie is older than you, right?"

"Yeah, yeah she's a year older than me, she just started taking some classes at the adult school in Saginaw. She's been working at Gerald's for awhile, but she gets adult hours, now, which is good because we like to stay out late and go see her," Sam laughed.

"Oh, that's cool. What about your brothers, the twins? Are they your only other siblings?"

"Yes, fortunately. I don't know how Mom and Dad handled us, we're all within three years of each other. What about you, are you an only child?"

Danny had been right, they were all close in age. Four kids, two of them twins! He still couldn't wrap his head around how that could possibly work out for the parents, but they all seemed to be nice people and clearly got along well. It was pretty nice, actually, having a (potential) boyfriend with a good relationship with his family - Danny knew that it might of been a slightly unfair dating requirement, but he wanted someone who loved their family as much as he did.

"I have a younger sister, she's a freshman at Frankenmuth High. I'm a senior, by the way."

"Wait, what? Me too! I wonder why I've never seen you if we go to the same school. How have I never noticed you before?" Sam exclaimed, making a sharp turn and pulling off of the paved road onto a dirt track.

Danny contemplated that, too. How one Earth had he never seen Sam if they went to the same fucking school? Sam was, like, *magnetic* or something, it didn't make any sense.

Sam interrupted him, not meaning to, as he was about to speak. "Alright, we're here. Sorry, continue," he grinned at Danny, looking sheepish at cutting him off. Danny smiled in return, telling him it was alright.

They got out of the car, shutting the doors gently so as not to disturb the peaceful nighttime forest, and also not to dent Ronnie's car.

Danny resumed what he was saying as Sam led him around to the trunk and started rooting around. "About not seeing me at school, well, you didn't have a reason to until now. I mean, it's not like a lot of people know me, I don't have many friends and I kinda tend to stay to the side."

"I can't imagine how you don't have tons of people hanging off of you," Sam said, looking up at Danny with his foxy eyes glinting in the moonlight. (That was cheesy, Danny knew - but his eyes were beautiful) "Like, the only explanation I can come up with as to why you don't have half of the school constantly begging you to notice *them* is because everyone is crazy."

He blushed and grinned, enjoying the feeling of being the one flirted with for once. It was beyond comprehensible for Danny as to why Sam seemed so taken by *him*, but it wasn't something he wanted to give up anytime soon if he could help it, confusion or not.

"Wow, you are a smooth talker, aren't you?"

Sam snorted. "Hardly. I'm telling you what I honestly think, and it's this: I've known you for maybe two hours, and you are the kindest, sweetest, smartest, most beautiful person I've ever met. Past maybe my mother, but that's different. You deserve all the friends in the world, and you could have any boy or girl you choose, I'm sure."

"Well, I'm choosing you," Danny said, blushing and grabbing Sam's hand. He didn't know what it was, but he was being particularly mushy today. Luckily, Sam seemed to really like it.

Sam led him away from the car after locking it up, one arm carrying a briefcase looking container, and the other's hand holding Danny's. They walked through the light snowfall and under heavy bows of trees, going along a path Danny couldn't see but that, apparently, Sam knew well.

Danny had the quick thought that Sam was going to murder him, and maybe he shouldn't ignore his survival instincts, but he decided that Sam would *never* kill him. He also asked, though, just to be sure.

"Are you planning on killing me out here?"

Sam laughed his donkey bray, swinging their hands and taking another slight turn around a large tree. "No, I don't think I'd be able to physically overpower you, you're probably way stronger than I am."

"Oh, yeah? But what about a gun? What's in the box, Sammy?"

Danny was grinning inside, though externally he blocked it so that his facade wouldn't slip. Sam stopped and stood in front of him.

"I'll show you what's in the box!" Sam said, holding it up in front of his crotch like that SNL sketch.

"Ooh, my favorite!" Danny wiggled his brows, staring at the box where, right behind it, was Sam's dick. They both laughed, faces rosy and eyes crinkled.

Danny was glad that he had chosen Sam over Ronnie, not only for the fact that Sam actually liked him back, but that he got along so well with him. Even if the romance was a bust, he could tell that they would be very good friends, the connection was that immediate. And, he liked the idea of being best friends with a guy and then also getting to fuck his brains out at the end of the day.

'I'm getting ahead of myself, he said he has standards.'

'*No*, he said that he won't fuck you in his sister's car, but he wants to.'

"Sam, dude, where are we going? What are we doing out here, like, really?" He choked out, dying to know and also hoping that the plans included at least a kiss.

Danny hadn't been this desperate to kiss someone in- possibly forever, really. He didn't know why he was so intent on getting Sam's lips on him (though, he supposed he did: like, *look* at Sam's mouth). It wasn't like himself to be this out of control - albeit on his own head - but Sam had this effect on him.

Logically, Danny knew that if Sam wanted to go slower he would totally respect that choice and not even be put out about it, he liked just being with Sam that much. But, a kiss.... He wanted just a taste, in case this was the only date he got to have with Sam.

"We're almost there, and then I'll show you," Sam said quietly.

They continued walking, going up a gentle slope and then around a giant boulder. When they came around the other side, Danny saw that the rock had been obscuring a pristinely white, snow covered clearing. All around them, flakes fell softly from the sky, some decorating the trees, and others landing on their heads.

Sam turned to look at him, grinning. "Isn't it pretty? I feel like, whenever I come here, I've entered another dimension or something."

Danny nodded, his breath nearly taken away by the delicate magic of the moment. Well, it wasn't completely perfect - his nose was running, his gloveless hands were both freezing and clammy in Sam's, and he had no fucking clue where he was - but Sam was so, so beautiful in this place he had brought them to.

They stood and stared at the scene, taking in everything, from the stars peaking out from in between the clouds to the feel of their thumbs rubbing back and forth over each other's knuckles.

After a few minutes of silence, Sam broke it, speaking softly, "This is one of my favorite places on Earth to be. We come here during all seasons, but there's just something more.... *special*, I guess, when everything is pure and damp and quiet."

"It's really nice, I can see why you like to bring people here."

"Actually," Sam paused, looking shyly at Danny, "I've never taken anyone else. As far as I can tell, my family are the only people who know about it."

"Really? I- thank you so much for bringing me to such a special spot for you," he gasped, grinning back at Sam's little smile.

Danny was floored, absolutely amazed with this moment in his life. Sam had, for reasons he couldn't understand but figured he'd better stop worrying about, taken him to a place that no one else had been to. It was an intimate, deeply trusting gesture that he'd made, and Danny received it full-heartedly. The scenery felt sacred, now, in a way that he couldn't quite describe but that filled him with content.

"This really does mean a lot, that you're letting me view your spot. I don't know how to say thank you enough for trusting me with this- can I, maybe, take you somewhere special to me next time?"

He was shooting his shot, and praying to whatever deity felt nearest in this winter forest that it would hit it's mark. Sam had decided to take him here right after meeting him, so it *would* work, right? Danny really fucking hoped that it did, and that he hadn't ruined the relationship they were building. It was newly born and a little confusing, but in a good way; they were already fused together somehow, a connection running through them to make it seem like they'd known each other for years instead if hours.

"I'll go anywhere you wanna take me," Sam answered. He looked aware of how cliche what hed said was, but he also didnt seem to care. Damny was internally screaming with joy. "I wasn't sure where I was driving, at first, but I ended up on the path here, and it felt right. You being here feels nice and right."

Danny was smiling openly, happiness on display. He swung their hands and looked up at the sky, where the snow clouds where starting to clear, the last of the flakes finishing their journey to the ground. Sam leaned into him slightly, a pleasurable warmth permeating into Danny's body through the many layers of their clothing.

"This is perfect! I was hoping the clouds would clear up, cause this wouldnt really be much fun without it. Now, c'mon, let me show you the inside."

Danny was completely confused, again. "The inside?"

-----------

@satans-helper @okietrish @karrotkate @lazingonsunday @lantern-inthenight @ryetheruler @oblvions @bigthighsandstupidguys @mountainofthesunn

[willowthewispp]

Fictional character death: Why do we care?

I’d be willing to bet a very large sum that you have watched a movie or TV show or read a book in which one of the characters met an untimely end. I would also wager that at least one of those deaths caused a significant emotional reaction. (cougheddiekaspbrackcoughstanleyuriscough) Did you cry? Did you leave the theatre with that hollow, sinking feeling in your chest? Did you immediately go on Tumblr and wail about your loss? These reactions are of course common, BUT! Have you ever wondered why? They are just fictional characters; someone made them up and decided their fate for an audience to experience, and yet their deaths feel deeply upsetting and real. IN THIS ESSAY I would like to explore what causes this emotional response, how different circumstances can result in different reactions, and what this says about human nature!

In order to fully understand why a fictional death affects us, one must understand why ACTUAL death scares us so much. I have considered this many times and tried to explain it to myself, here are some of my thoughts:

- We fear permanence and the unknown. (Cause like, beyond personal and religious beliefs, nobody actually knows what happens after we die. It’s not like you can just ASK a dead person). This is the most basic reason I guess- if someone dies they will never “be” in your presence again, which is obviously very upsetting. And we fear our own death because of course your earthly existence is over and you can’t experience life anymore, but also because it’s very hard to conceptualize or understand the lack of life and what that would mean for you when all you’ve ever known is living (obviously). And that’s scary!

- But isn’t it kinda weird that, say, when someone moves away, while we might be sad, but never have the same depth of pain as when somebody dies. I mean obviously that’s normal and reasonable, but when you really strip it down to a purely logical sense, it’s a little contradictory or at least fascinating that someone moving away could have exactly the same net end result from your bubble of existence as someone dying, yet we don’t get (or at least are less likely to get) that horrible sinking feeling or wake up and cry or whatever. This is more noticeable and a little less sociopathic sounding if you consider a scenario where don’t really know the person as well (for example if somebody in your school you didn’t know moved away you probably wouldn’t care, but if somebody in your school DIED you would most likely be upset or at least just feel weird or uneasy about it- although in that case I think it might come down more to a point of empathy and feeling bad not for yourself, but for the people who know the gone person. Again proving that humans have empathy. Hot damn. (I find it kind of sad that we need a thought experiment to prove that though)

Getting back to the fictional character thing, on the most surface level, logical sense, a reason to be sad when a character dies is that if they are dead, they can no longer have an active role in the story. You will no longer hear their “voice” in the story, they can no longer interact with the other characters, and all that jazz that made you fall in love with them in the first place.

So why is it that when characters die at the end of a narrative, we still have just as much of an emotional response? You aren’t technically missing out on anything, as the story is over, done, nothing else has been written about any of the characters- so why is it that we only mourn the ones that died in the story?

I guess people really do be having empathy!!! Sorry lord of the flies author, we aren’t all horrible savages that will turn our backs on each other the moment we’re taken away from society (probably). If I can be emotionally destroyed by a chunk of words on a page, alone in my room, with nobody watching or expecting anything of me, then certainly I, and a whole heck load of other people, can be ACTUALLY EMPATHETIC towards- and want what’s best for- other actual humans with real consciousness!

There are way too many things to talk about in this discussion and uhhhh I definitely can’t get to all of them. The point of fiction??? The fine line that differentiates logic and emotion, and why we end up using one or the other???????Human nature!!?!???? Someone help me. I don’t have time for this.

I’ve come to realize that writing this essay may be a coping mechanism for myself to try to objectively pick apart the emotions that fictional world cause me. But really, while I can try to rationalize it all to try to take away some of the pain (and no, I refuse to believe I’m being overly dramatic about a fictional universe), what really is the point of my ramblings? I don’t know! GOD. CAN I NOT JUST LET MYSELF EXPERIENCE THINGS?

It is nice to understand stuff though. I keep ending up with the question of what is the point, which is mildly distressing, but I mean what can you do. I guess I won’t stop asking myself questions any time soon. (I just hope I end up with more answers than questions as I progress through life!)

[oopstheregoesthatlifeofmine]

100 FOLLOWER CELEBRATION!!!

I can’t believe I am actually doing this!!! I was about to go to sleep but checked Tumblr first and realised I reached 100 followers!! So... probably no sleep for me tonight. But anyway, thank you so much for everyone who follows me! I appreciate every single one of you. Just quickly I want to mention a few mutuals of mine who I love and want to thank heaps for everything. (I know I’m probably being overly dramatic but this whole thing means so much to me)

@thislifeispointless Thank you so much for being my friend and getting Tumblr with me, and just screaming and FKJDFGHJKVCDERTYUKJH together until two in the morning. I am so glad that you are my friend.

@superalteza666 Thank you for talking to me and checking up on me whenever I needed it. You are so amazing (and you dog is adorable say hi from me)

@shippinggayandallthatjazz Thank you so much for being my first friend on this site, supporting me, helping me with my writing (I’ve improved so much thanks to you), talking to me and for being my friend. I am forever grateful for that. 

@weirdpersonalert I love watching Supernatural together, screaming about Stranger Things, crying over Marvel. You inspired me to post my first fanfiction on this site and made me smile when I was feeling down.

@energytheoldfashionedway I am so glad that I got to speak with you, and I loved talking about the differences in culture (you Americans are so weird). You are so funny and I am so happy I get to talk with you.

I could go on forever naming people so... just thank you to everyone!!!

Now onto the stuff people actually care about. (Sorry about boring you with my thank-you’s, I’m just feeling emotional right now. It’s nearly midnight have pity)

Okay, so send me an ask with one or more of these emojis. I might take a while to get through all of them (if I actually end up getting any) but I promise that I’ll answer them all.

🦄 - one weird fact about myself

💫 + a ship or character - I’ll try writing an extremely short drabble about them

🌈 - ask any question you want and I will have to answer truthfully

☕️ + a character or ship - I will tell you my opinion on them

🥀 - tell me your honest opinion of me / my blog

🖊 + a line of text - I will write whatever you send, in my handwriting

🐶 - I will show a picture of my dog (he is adorable)

🇦🇺 - ask me a question about my country (it’s the Australian flag)

💐 - whatever you want

You can ask on anon or not, it doesn’t really matter, I’m fine with either.

Rules:

You have to be following me (I mean not really but it would be nice)

Please reblog this post 

And yeah, that’s it!

If you don’t want to see these, just block out the tag chloe’s 100 follower celebration. Thank you again so much everyone!!! I can’t believe I’m already at 100!!! YAY!!!

[trashpandaorigins]

How to Save a Life Part One

Bucky takes a bullet for Rocket. Not long after, Rocket returns the favor.

This is just my excuse to write melodramatically about Bucky and Rocket's friendship. I didn't flush out why they got shot/who shot them and the context around it....I just wanted to cut to the chase. The idea came to my mind and I had to write it out. I’m a glutton for platonic friends who are usually rough and closed off bonding and spilling their hearts out under life or die circumstances.

Thanks to @captaintoomanybattles​ or the editorial oversight and support, go visit their blog on Tumblr!

Go read their amazing Stucky/Avengers work at Skarabrae_stone on A03!

Part of the GRSB: Scenes From a Life series

“What the hell was that Barnes?!” Rocket scrambled to the man’s side. Bucky grimaced, fingers fumbling for where the bullet had lodged itself. “Well it’s not exactly a ‘thanks for saving my life’ but I’ll take it.” Bucky growled, he located the bullet with relative ease slick blood seeping through his clothes. He took deep breaths, willing himself to be calm. It was something he knew all too well, that taste of adrenaline, that panic. He swallowed it down, peering through the dark blood and suit. “I’ve had worse,” he added pressing his good hand down on the wound despite its throbbing. “Somehow that’s not reassuring,” Rocket growled. Bucky bit his tongue and pressed against the wound harder in an attempt to staunch the blood. “It’s just my shoulder,” he breathed. Rocket examined the wound moving Bucky’s hand away, whiskers twitching. “Yeah well what if it wasn’t?” He demanded roughly. “What if it was your neck? Or your thick skull?!” Bucky tossed his hair from his eyes and attempted to stand. Rocket reached out grabbing his arm and steadying him. A wave of nausea washed over him and he sank back down, leaning against the rough wall of the building. “What would I tell Steve?!” Rocket continued, pressing down on Bucky’s wound himself. “That you threw your life away for a damn vermin?! I ain’t worth that!” The words were barely out of his mouth before Bucky grabbed him by the front of his jumpsuit, eyes feverish and voice low. “You don’t get to tell me what’s worth dying for,” he snarled. He let go, and Rocket stumbled backward as if he’d been struck. Bucky seemed to snap out of it hefting his shoulder. “And I’m not gonna die,” he added. “Help me up,” Bucky hunched forward standing shakily at first. They made their way slowly back to the apartment, Bucky taking each step careful and precise, every so often withdrawing his hand. Still bloody but less so. “You shouldn’t have done that,” Rocket commented trying to help Bucky up the narrow steps to the door though the height difference did little to aid them. Bucky glanced down at him, “Of course I should have. I’ve kept Steve alive more or less...you get used to saving small impulsive people who start fights they really shouldn’t start.” Rocket only raised a brow, but opened the door for Bucky.

“How’s your shoulder?” Rocket shuffled into Bucky and Steve’s room the next morning. Bucky looked over the rifle he was repairing and tossed a glance over his shoulder.

“Oh the pain,” he moaned jokingly. “I can’t stand it, the light….I see a light! Tell Steve I love him! Oh...oh ouch! Goodbye cruel world!”

“Quit the crap Barnes,” Rocket mumbled.

“What? You asked how my shoulder was!” He teased.

“I was too busy being angry at yah I guess I forgot to thank you.” Bucky inspected the gun, flicked the safety back on and set it down next to the others, reaching for his knives next. “Your welcome Rock.” “You really shouldn’t have done that though,” Rocket flexed his paws, eyes fixed on the weapons. “What if you died?” “I didn’t,” Bucky commented, twirling the sharpener in his hand before taking it to the blade. “You could’ve!” Rocket growled stepping closer. “You didn’t consider that before you went all dramatic and flung yourself between me and that gun? Did it cross your fucking mind?” “Of course it did!” Bucky snapped, slapping down his knife with a whack against the workbench. “It would’ve been worth it even if I did.” His eyes shimmered with that haunted glaze that was all too familiar. “Hell I thought taking a bullet for you would prove that but I guess not.” Rocket looked away, ears lowering. Bucky went back to his knife, taking a breath. When he spoke next it was softer. “I couldn’t save you from that lab, I’ll never forgive myself for that.” “You know that doesn’t matter Barnes, I don’t blame yah,” Bucky waved the raccoonoid’s words away dismissively.  His swallowed back the memories. “Steve going rogue and sacrificing everything he had with the Avengers just to save me? I didn’t think I was worth that.” Bucky’s knuckles whitened as he sharpened his blade. “His friendship with Natasha, Sam and the others? Going against the Avengers...against his principles...just to save a brain damaged assassin that got himself killed and captured years ago? I didn’t think I was worth that.” Bucky’s eyes look far away. He held his breath, heart hammering in his chest each thrumming beat courtesy of Steve Rogers. The weight of it was heavy..but a welcome burden. “I still don’t...” his words caught.

In the warm late afternoon light shining through the window Bucky looked down at his remaining arm, the flesh scarred but not overly so. A bruise nearly healed, the nick of a razor. He stared at a section of flesh below his elbow. A piece of his skin not yet marred. If he looked at it long enough he could almost pretend none of it happened. He shook ran his metal hand through his hair sweeping it back out of his face and cleared his throat returning to the present.

“Took me long enough but I finally realized it,” he continued.

“Realized what?” Rocket prodded softer than Bucky had ever heard him speak. He looked at the raccoonoid, truth be told he forgot the creature was there.

“That it didn’t matter what I thought about my life or my worth anything like that. It mattered what Steve thought.” He smiled “Steve believed I deserved a second chance, that I deserved a second shot. He believed it so strongly he was willing to give his life for me to have that chance,” his smile grew, heart elated. “And if I deserve a second shot, hell a third or a fourth or a fifth one, then so do you.” Rocket bit his tongue and stared at the ground even as Bucky looked at him.

“Course you do,” he sighed exasperated. “You….you mean a lot to Steve, to a lot of people. Your an Avenger and shit...you saved the world.”

“You saved the galaxy,” Bucky countered. The raccoonoid huffed. “I know you don’t believe it, like I said I still don’t but one day you will. One day you’ll realize you’re loved. That you also matter to a lot of people.” Rocket opened his mouth but Bucky held up his hand. “You matter to me Rocket. And to Groot of course  and Quill, Thor, Gamora, Drax and Steve. Lots of people.” Bucky looked at him and smiled wider, something akin to Groot’s spores, full of light and joy only this time it was a feeling budding in his cybernetic chest. “Besides,” Bucky leaned back against his chair and folded his arms, carefully concealing the twinge in his shoulder; he stretched and sighed happily. “I got my rabies vaccine, you know-just in case- if you went and died on me I would’ve got all those shots for nothing and they hurt a lot worse then this bullet, believe me.”

“For the last time Barnes I don’t got rabies!” Rocket bared his teeth, but there was no true anger behind it, Bucky knew that very well by now.

“Of course not. Now come here.” The raccoonoid crossed his arms,

“Why?”

“So I can give my favorite raccoon a nice ole’ pet on the head.”

“I ain’t a…forget it.” Rocket shook his head, muttered a few curses but approached allowing Bucky to run a hand over his ears. “It’s only cuz you saved my life. Don’t get used to it.”

“Whatever you say Ranger Rick.”

“But...really,” Rocket looked up at the man after a few minutes of comfortable silence. “Thank you.” Bucky met his look and responded with a genuine smile, surprised at the thick emotion to his own voice,

“Your welcome,” the raccoonoid didn’t respond but he leaned in to the comforting hand and that was all Bucky needed.

[sapphicscholar]

A/N: I haven’t been posting the letters here, since I’ve been traveling, so if you’re only following on Tumblr, make sure you go catch up first! 

Letter 64

March 9, 2012, 5:03pm

Dear Alex,

I know I don't have to, but I enjoy writing to you. And you're not bad at it, trust me. I think...I don't know, the beginning of any relationship is a little awkward, and with both of us being new to the long distance side of it, that makes it so much harder. But I still love getting your emails. And responding is a nice chance to sit down after a long day while pretty much everyone else is spending time with their families.

I'm sure you and the head librarian normally get along perfectly, so I doubt one snort will jeopardize that relationship. But if it does, she can take up any and all complaints with me. Also, it's sort of adorable that you thought they deserved play time. Probably for the best that you found them all, though.

Practical loopholes are the best! And no, I don't imagine I'll ever get that confession. It'll always be pinned on Kara, right?

Really...you're gonna tease me for Snoopy when you want to make your dog the laughing stock of the dog park? Gertrude is the name of, like, the single old lady who lives next door and has tissue lint-covered butterscotch candies in her purse. And you're gonna be out there with some big-ass German shepherd barreling toward you as you yell, "C'mere, Gertrude!"

Anyway, I think it's awesome that you and some of the other volunteers have been learning a bit of ASL. We didn't offer it beyond the beginner level at my school (you had to go take classes at another university, but financial aid wouldn't cover them—anyway, it's a long story and basically boils down to: bureaucracy sucks), but one day I'd also like to learn. I've often wondered whether it might not be a better "universal" language for communicating with the majority of off-worlders who've landed in the States, many of whom don't have many of the same sounds as English does. Then again, I'm sure there are plenty of morphology-related issues that could make signing equally difficult. Perhaps if we made both…who knows! I'm rambling at this point.

And of course you'd be into da Vinci's lab. Well, if you ever end up in Italy, you could go visit plenty of da Vinci museums. Personally, though, I prefer the testing site for his flying machines up in Fiesole, one of the hill towns outside of Florence. I went running up there while I was in Florence, and it's absolutely beautiful. Also, the woods in the area have all sorts of signs warning about attack pigs (okay wild boars, which I know are much more threatening, but I enjoy the thought of attack pigs more because then I can focus on being amused instead of frightened). I'd definitely recommend it as a less tourist-y spot!

I…I'm refraining from making a whole lot of inappropriate comments about the phrasing of your request for my help in making food. I would like some credit for my will power here. Please and thank you. Now that I've gotten it out there, yeah, I'm happy to help. I don't know how much help I'll be from afar when our video feed often freezes every few minutes, but dammit, I'm down to try. Also, you think my recipes are bad? You should see the ones passed down through the generations. "Boil the potatoes until done. Mash potatoes and add egg yolks…etc." Literally nothing is specific and everything is to taste. But once you've got a sense of how things should taste in a general sense, you can start figuring out how you most want them to taste, and that's a pretty cool thing.

You've got me so intrigued about this news! Good luck with whatever it is!

Last but not least, your questions!

1. What TV series to do you keep coming back to and re-watching? -Okay…honestly, I've rewatched The L Word more than I should. It's awful and overly dramatic and everything, yes, but it's also representation. And we don't die (RIP Tara). Okay, lies! One very important character dies (okay also another one, but she’s still in every fucking episode, and that was a betrayal of the deepest sort), and I'm still bitter, but in case you haven't seen it (I assume not…) and want to one day (that's up in the air), I won't spoil it. It's nice to have a show that, for as bad as it was, normalized women dating/loving/fucking (should I do the whole theme song?? No, it's okay, you probably won't get that joke) other women. And, even though I totally bashed on it a sentence or two ago, I do love a good Buffy rerun. I'm especially partial to the dark Willow episodes when I'm annoyed with the world.

2. What are some things everyone should try once? -Oooh, so many things! I think everyone (who can afford to) should try to live alone and/or travel alone at least once. I get the joy in being surrounded by others, but I think being alone for a somewhat extended period of time breeds a level of self-sufficiency and self-awareness that can be really healthy and helpful. You can't lean on everyone around you, and so you learn what your strengths are and where you struggle, but you also learn how best to deal with your weaknesses, and I think it makes you stronger, even if it's hard at the time. And there's also something a little freeing about being on your own--you get to do the things you want to do on the timescale that you've set for yourself. Want to spend an entire day in one room of an art museum? Fucking do it! There's no one telling you about the "right" way to do things or live.

3. What would a perfect morning be like? -Great question!! I'd love a morning with no alarm. I probably couldn't sleep in too late, but being able to wake up naturally is a wonderful feeling. And then I'd love to have a free day in front of me. And then, okay, two possibilities! Option 1: Sunny, warm day. I'd get up and go for a short run to one of those outdoor yoga classes. I'd come back, shower, and then go out for breakfast at someplace that serves really amazing coffee and has a patio so I could eat outside. I'd love to do the breakfast (and really the rest would be cool too) with someone. Could be a friend or a date—either way—someone to enjoy the day with. We could go to a farmer's market or walk around for fun without any real goals in mind. I'm also partial to people watching, so maybe get more coffee or tea and sit outside and watch the people go by.

Option 2: Cold, rainy/snowy day. Sleep in a little bit later. Waking up with someone I like there could be pretty great too. I'd love to have big windows to watch the rain or snow coming down. And if it were snow, a fireplace would be amazing! And then we could make breakfast together, and since it could be a sleepy morning, maybe we could do hot cocoa instead of coffee (or mix them together for a homemade mocha type thing). We could eat by the fire and do the crossword together. Maybe even be bold and use pen! Later, we could put on a movie. For some reason, when it snows, I always want to watch Harry Potter, especially the first one. It feels right. Maybe afterward there's a hot bubble bath involved or something nice and warm.

Hmm questions from me…this is tricky, ya know? There are lots of things I want to know about you, but sometimes it feels like…like maybe I know them too early? Or I'm missing something important. Like…if we went out on our first date in person, would we have done the whole back-and-forth about which one of us should pay? Would we have split a dessert, or are you someone that doesn't like sharing food? Would we have held hands? Or would it have been that awkward moment where it doesn't matter that, say, you already drunkenly groped each other in a bar bathroom, because now you've still got first date jitters and don't know if a hug is even appropriate. Not talking from personal experience at all. Would never… But you know what I mean? Would we have gone off script? Would the date have gone on for hours with neither one of us wanting it to end? Would we have kissed at the end of it? Would it have been great or totally awkward and something that we'd laugh about later? I get that it's part of the territory of doing anything long distance, but it comes with a unique set of frustrations (not with you! with, you know, the situation). Sorry, I don't mean to hate on what we're doing or anything like that. And I know the questions were my idea, so I'm certainly not saying we should stop or anything! I don't know what I'm saying.

But okay, questions. Umm…let's think. If you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be? Slightly different: what do you think your superpower would be (as opposed to the one you'd choose)? What's your worst habit? And, hmm…any embarrassing high school moments?

Can't wait to talk to you on Sunday morning (for me)! Maggie

[hornsbeforehalos]

Anytime, Sweetheart: Part 5

Pairing: JDM x OFC (RPF)

Features: Ackles & Padalecki Families, R2, Misha Collins & Vicky Vantoch, Norman Reedus, Andrew Lincoln, Kim Rhodes, Briana Buckmaster, Ruth Connell, Corey Taylor and other cast members & OFCs* *THIS IS AN RPF FIC**

Series Masterlist Summary: (I’m horrible at summaries, but let me try): Kylin Ackles runs to her brother’s house after leaving her abusive boyfriend of 3 years, where she meets Jeffrey. Events unfold that bring them together, as well as push them apart.  Warnings: Emotional abuse, Physical Violence, mentions of rape, cursing, drinking, recreational drug use (weed), Strip Club, RPF, NSFW**, GIFs, implied smut, Age Difference, Slow burn, Emotional rollercoaster, poorly written smutt, etc… 18+ please

(A/N: This is strictly a work of fiction that I came up with off the top of my head. For fictional purposes his S/O & Son are not mentioned. I love him and his little family, though, so no hate intended. This is the first time posting anything on Tumblr, but I couldn’t get it out of my head since my ao3 fic is currently on hiatus because writers block. Feedback is appreciated. unbetaed, all mistakes are mine.)

TAGS: @jml509 @jesbakescookies @daddy-kink-confirmed @wayward-mirage

​   “Ho-Lee Shit, baby doll!” Jeffrey bellowed as I walked out of the bathroom from getting ready. 

   My red dress was floor length, but not overly formal. It was flowy with slits on the sides to show off my legs when walking, and had a scooping neckline that gathered around my belly, exposing some cleavage but not anything that would send me on the expressway to Hell. My black strappy heels lengthened my legs and showed off my calves. I had opted for loose curls in my hair and dramatic black eyes shadow and lashes but only gloss on my lips. There was even a nail salon below Jeffrey’s apartment complex so I had splurged on sharp black claws and a pedicure after lunch. I beamed at his praise again as I took in his ever-sexual form myself. He was in a button up shirt that had almost the exact same hue as my dress, which he assured me was a total coincidence, as well as nice dress slacks and the black blazer I had recently given back to him. He looked like a sex god on a stick. He quickly pulled me to his chest and ran his hands down my sides as he bent over to nuzzle his beard across the sensitive flesh that was my neck. 

“You look divine​, Ms. Ackles​.” He growled as he rocked us side to side.

“Why thank you, Mr. J” I smiled as I wrapped my arms around his neck.    "Anytime, Sweetheart.“ There they were again, those two words. I couldn’t help the hum that rang through my chest. 

   He pulled away to look me up and down again, shaking is head as his eyes roamed with his tongue between his teeth. He kissed me on the forehead before turning and grabbing a box from his coffee table that I hadn’t noticed. It was wrapped in red sparkling wrapping paper and had a black bow. He held it out to me. "What’s this?” I questioned as I took the box from ​hi​s hand.    "I missed Christmas. And flowers aren’t the best birthday gift.“ he grinned and brushed his beard down.    I smiled back at him and begun unwrapping the paper. I pulled it all off to reveal a black suede jewelry case. I looked up to Jeffrey and he had crossed an arm across his ster​n​um to hold up his other arm at the elbow that was rubbing his chin. I opened the box to reveal the most beautiful chocolate diamond and rose gold owl pendant. I gasped as I touched it, words not forming in my brain.

  "This is too much, Jeffrey. How much did this cost you?” tears formed in my eyes against my will. ​​   “Just a couple hundred thousand, nothing serious” he deadpanned as my eyes went wide, “I’m kidding, sweet heart. But don​'​t worry about it. You deserve it.”        He reached for the box in my hand and removed the necklace. He walked behind me as I held my hair to the side so he could place the necklace on me and fasten the clasp. He let his cool fingertips run down my neck and onto my shoulders, eliciting shivers down my spine. He bent down to nuzzle his beard into my hair again, causing my breath to catch in my throat once more. ​    "Perfect,“ He breathed, dangerously close to my sensitive skin. He took advantage and ​let his lips drag themselves across the flesh of my exposed neck, "Always so perfect.”    I looked down to gather myself from the haze that was provided by his words before returning my stare to him though my lashes. I smiled lightly as he moved in front of me again and put his hands on my shoulders. “You’re too good to me, Jeff.”    "No one is ever too good for you. Always never good enough.“ He cupped my face into his hand and leaned in to kiss my forehead before extending his arm out for me, "Shall we?” “We shall” I laughed. 

      He had made special reservations at a very nice restaurant that neither of us could pronounce the name of. We sat in a back booth of the dimly lit area, sipping wine and laughing a little too loud about absolutely everything.       “And then Dani just screeched at me as loud as she could ‘Get these fucking things outta me!’ while almost breaking my fucking hand! I swear to God if I ever have children then I want to be loaded up with the best drugs on the market. All that other bullshit is insane. I feel so bad for Gen right now.” I laughed, taking a sip from my glass.       “Who in the hell would do that to themselves? Twins especially? And Genevieve should know any kid of Jared’s is already bound to be a fucking bowling ball.” He barked before taking a bite of his steak      "That’s what I said!“ I huffed as I stabbed a piece of my own strip as well.       "So,” I spoke, trying to swallow my bite as I brought my napkin to my mouth, “Where are we watching the fire works?”    He narrowed his eyes at me and chuckled before looking down to his plate, “You can’t let anything be a surprise, can you?” My response was me rolling my eyes. “The roof.” he pointed upwards with a mouth full of potato.

    We were standing on the roof of the building, surrounded by a bout a hundred other people, but the only person in my line of vision was Jeffrey. I looked up at him, arms around his neck, feeling his hands at my hips as he swayed us to the rhythm of the music being played. 

   "You’re so fucking beautiful.“ He breathed, leaning down to touch his for head to mine. I closed my eyes and smiled as the 10 second countdown began. I raised my eyes back to him as the seconds ticked by, and found myself lost in his irises. He rubbed his hands up my body and pushed them into my hair in the final seconds,

    "3…2…1” he whispered, although at this point i was completely oblivious to anything else around me as he inched his face closer to mine. He tightened his grip on my hair as he closed the gap between our mouths, a long awaited moment finally erupting as fireworks took off in the background at the ball’s decent. My eyes squeezed shut tightly and a moan erupted from my lungs as I held onto his shirt under his blazer for dear life, praying I wasn’t dreaming. He eagerly parted my lips with his own and pushed his tongue past my teeth as I pushed my own tongue back against his in a violently dance for dominance. His hands left my hair so one could hold my neck lovingly and the other could drag itself down my body to the small of my back, then slightly lower, pulling me flush with his body. His fingertips kneaded into the waistband under my dress and he hummed into my mouth when he felt my breath hitch at his touch. When the shouts and celebratory screams had died down was when he finally pulled away from me and we both gasped in a breath of air before opening our eyes.      And when I finally did let my eyes flutter open to be met with his intensity, I couldn’t stop the smile that spread over my face. He smiled back nervously, brought his hands up to my face again and searched my eyes. I threw my self forward and kissed him again, and he smiled into me while dipping me backwards, pulling me as close as possible to him.    When we completely pulled apart again I wasn’t lost anymore. I wasn’t broken. I was just falling.

     The Uber ride home was a blur. Neither of us could keep our hands away from each other, making the poor driver extremely uncomfortable. It was a haze of teeth and lips and limbs, and it wasn’t until we were back in his apartment that either one of us even attempted to compose ourselves.    "Wanna drink?“ He asked as his lips were still pressed against mine as he pulled off his blazer. "Yes,��� I replied, only pulling away to shrug off my own coat.      He drug me over to the couch and sat me down, leaning over again to plant kiss on my forehead before smiling into my eyes. He pulled his hand out of my hair with a lingering touch that made my stomach warm and my heart flutter.      He sauntered over to the bar cabinet with a new little swagger that I hadn’t noticed before. He grinned at me as he pulled out the bottle of whiskey and two glasses. His eyes only left me briefly as he looked down to pour our drinks.      Once back over at the couch, he handed me my glass while sitting at the other end of the sofa. He pulled my feet into his lap with his free hand and rubbed my ankles.      "So little, how do you walk in these things?“ He chuckled as he wrapped his whole hand around my left ankle and gave it a squeeze. I hummed a small laugh in response.      He removed my shoes from my feet with one swift movement of his hand as he brought his glass to his lips. He began to massage my soles as his eyes danced up my legs and over my frame and back to my face. A smirk appeared as he leaned forward to place his glass on the coffee table.       I eyed him suspiciously as I raised my own glass for a drink, almost finishing it in one gulp as the look in his eyes altered, causing my anxiety to rise from the pit. He leaned over side ways on the couch, rubbing both of his calloused hands up my legs to my thighs. I swallowed again as he lowered his mouth to the the tattooed flesh of my right leg below the hemline of my dress. His eyes never left mine as he leaned up slightly to push one of my legs forward to then pull it behind his back and lean forward again, now settling between my legs. My shaking hands brought the glass to my lips for the final sip before I sat it down to join Jeffrey’s on the table.       One hand instinctively moved to my chest to finger the pendant resting against my cleavage as the other roamed through Jeffrey’s hair, feeling the softness. My breathing caught again as he pushed himself up by my hips, pulling himself up to place his hands on the couch above my shoulders, encasing me with his body. My thighs automatically wrapped themselves around the back of his legs to allow him more room as he rolled his hips forward and kissed me on the mouth again.    "Mmmm, baby, you feel so good,” He groaned after a moment of shifting his body against mine. My mind was so hazy with lust and alcohol that all I could do was whimper and dig my nails into his shoulders. His lips moved from my mouth to my jaw, then down further to my neck, gently nipping at the sensitive flesh with his lips and teeth. My breathing was heavy as my chest heaved against him as he moved his mouth down to the valley between my breasts. He shifted his weight to hold himself up on one arm as the other roamed down to push the neckline of my dress away from my bra so he could have better access. He licked over the flesh pushing against the constricting lace, his scruff rubbing against the sensitive areas and leaving red marks that brought another moan from my lips and made my body shiver. I closed my eyes before they could roll to the back of my head and arched up into him, both hands tugging at his waves as the heat between us pooled and pooled. A low growl reverberated within him as he crashed his lips back to mine and bucked his hips forward again, seizing another whimper from me. 

   "So beautiful…“ he whispered into my neck as my own hips pushed upwards to grind against him.    "Jeff,” I breathed, my anxiety and arousal mixing together to further dampen my ability to speak as we continued to move against each other. He let another deep groan ripple through him and it went straight to my soul as his hand on my side moved lower to grip behind my knee and lift my leg up further onto his hip. He ground down harder, sending another shot of ecstasy through my groin as his hardness pressed and rubbed against me. I couldn’t stop my erratic breathing or shaking hands, even as I pulled him back to my lips by his hair, digging my sharp nails into his scalp.     He pulled away from me and leaned up to kneel between my legs, still letting his hands roam across my hips and thighs. My legs were parted and my dress had only risen up slightly, but he still brought his hands to the hemline to pull it back down further. He exhaled deeply, eyes hungrily taking in my disheveled appearance below him.     “We’ve gotta stop or you’re gonna make me nut my pants.” He chuckled, fingers glancing over my thighs and knees. My hands met his strong thighs and he let me run my palms up them before stopping me when I shakily reached his belt buckle.      "Not tonight, sweetheart.“ He breathed, closing his eyes and removing my hands. He leaned forward to wrap an arm around my waist before rolling back sideways to reposition us to where I was sitting in his lap, straddling him. I leaned forward to capture his lips with mine as my hair fell in our faces. He brought his hand that still held my wrists up to his chest before leaving them there to tangle his fingers back into my wrecked curls.       "You’re so fucking beautiful,” He repeated before a heavy gasp against my open mouth. I licked his upper lip as he drew my bottom one into his teeth and nibbled gently, causing me to grind down on him and moan lightly.       “Fuckkk.” He groaned, raising his hips to meet mine one last time before pulling away and holding my head still in front of his face as his eyes darted back and forth into mine, “How do you do this to me?”        I smiled innocently while searching his irises myself and reaching up to cup his chin, letting my finger tips run through the coarse silver hair. I bit my lip gently before I whispered, “I don’t know.”       He swallowed and licked his lips before speaking again, in a raspy almost-whisper, “I’m not gonna rush this thing with you. I know you’ve been hurt before, and I don’t want to be someone who does it to you again. I don’t know what this is, or what you want it to be. But I know I enjoy spending time with you, enjoy being around you, enjoy touching you,” he squeezed my hips and dug his fingers into the top of my ass, enticing a gasping laugh from me and another deep smile from him before he continued with a husky drawl, “I want you to know that you’re safe with me. That I’m not going to hurt you. That I don’t expect anything from you.” He moved his hand to push a fallen strand of hair behind my ear.       “Thank you, Jeff.” I whispered, trying to fight the emotion that the alcohol and mood threatened to push over my tear ducts.   “Anytime, Sweetheart.” He grinned, and I instantly melted back into his kiss. 

     "I don’t want to go home tomorrow.“ I whined as we lay in his bed the next morning. We weren’t touching, but we were in mirrored positions on our backs, one hand above our heads and the other on our stomachs. "Then don’t go.” He hummed, turning his head to look at me.    "I have to be at work by 8, silly, I got bills.“ I giggled, turning my own head to face him.    He rolled his eyes, "I’ll pay your bills and I’m sure John knows how to order a case of booze and some beer.”    I glared back at him sarcastically, ignoring the first half of his comment, “Yeah, because that’s the only thing I do.” I rolled my eyes, “I swear that man would burn that place to the fucking ground if I weren’t following him around with a fire extinguisher.” I looked back to the ceiling, “Plus, apparently I’m due for a promotion.”    "Oh yeah?“ He rolled over onto his side and propped his head up with his knuckles.    "Yeah, one of the vice managers managers moved to corporate so John’s unfortunately getting to take over his spot as dance manager. I’ll be getting his spot, apparently.”    "Big boss lady in a suit, huh?“ He grinned, poking me in the sides. I giggled and smacked his hand away lightly. "Yeah, I guess so. I never expected it, honestly. Figured I’d be doomed to sling drinks for tips for the rest of my days, but apparently Cliff insisted.” I rolled over towards him as he moved his hand to my hip.    "I’m sure Tom will miss staring at your tits all night.“ He smirked and I slapped his chest, "What? You tease that man too much.”    "Please, he’ll prolly be up my ass more when he sees my tits in a vest.“ I shook my head at the thought and couldn’t contain my laughter.    "I probably will be too.” He wagged his eyebrows up and down as he tightened his grip on my hip.     I scooted over to him to give him a brief kiss before rolling out of the bed to stand up. I started towards the bathroom as I felt his hand come down with a soft 'smack’ on my cotton-short-clad ass. I gasped and spun back around to him looking away innocently. “What?” he grinned, returning his eyes to me, “I couldn’t help myself.”

    We spent the morning lounging around his apartment drinking coffee and watching TV. I busted out in a fit of laughter when I was flipping through channels while he was in the bathroom and came across the  tail end of the second season premiere of Supernatural. When he came back into the room I had tears rolling down my face and was clutching my sides. “What’s so funny, little girl?” He grinned, confused.     I turned the volume on the television up and spoke John Winchester’s line at the same time as the TV, feigning the emotion that he had in the scene, “I just want you to know that I’m proud of you.” I looked up at him with watery eyes and reached for his hand. He instantly erupted in his own laughter as he plopped himself on the sofa beside me and stole the remote. “Enough of that, now.” He shook his head and flipped the channel.    "You’re no fun.“ I pouted, crossing my arms over my chest as he tried to pull me into his side.    "Pffft, I’m a riot.” he retorted, throwing his arm over my shoulder as I snuggled into his ribs.    "Whatever, old man. Whatever you say.“ I poked his ribs and he jerked away from me.    "Yeah, whatever I say goes.” He growled, bring his hand around my shoulder down to lightly smack me on the ass again. “Yes sir” I rolled my eyes sarcastically. He growled as he narrowed his eyes, “Don’t start that, Missy.” “Start what, Mr. J?” I smiled coyly, earning me another low grumble from him. “Lunchtime?” He asked as he heard the unmistakable rumble of my belly. “Always.”

   Lunch was prepared by Chef Jeffrey Dean Morgan himself, and consisted of grilled chicken, garlic pasta, and mixed vegetables. My eyes rolled into the back of my head at the first bite.    "Stick with me girl, we’ll get you thick in no time.“ He chuckled beside me at the table, poking at my stomach.    "Please, I’ve attempted the whole 'gains’ thing with Jared, didn’t work. I gotta fucked up thyroid.” I shoveled more food in my mouth as he continued to giggle.       Once I scarfed down the rest of my food I was back on the couch shifting through channels. Jeffrey was rinsing off the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang, “Can you get that for me, sweet-pea?” he shouted to me.      Anxiety instantly trembled through me, remembering the last time I’d answered the door to a home that wasn’t mine,  "I’d rather not…“      Jeff appeared in the doorway of the kitchen, dishrag in his hand,  and gave me a sympathetic look, repeating his previous words again, "You’re safe here, honey,” before heading towards the front door. “Who is it?” He hollered, wiping his hands with the towel while looking through the peep hole. 

     "Little pig, little pig! Let. Me. In!“ came from the other side of the door before the door bell rang again in short sporadic increments. 

   Jeffrey barked out a loud laugh as he pulled the door open and in marched Norman, two bottles of what I could only assume was liquor in his hands.      "Who’s up for some fucking day drinking?- Oh hey, Ms. Ackles, I didn’t know you’d be here.” Norman lifted on of the bottles in salutation to me.      "Hey, Norman" I said, feeling my nervousness shift away. ’No one can get me here.’ “How’re you doin’, girl?” He said as I stood up to give him a hug.      "Good, you?“ I responded as I watched him pull the bottles out of their paper bags.      "Better now! Came to get day drunk with my buddy and he’s got a hot girl here too? Winner Winner.” He laughed.      "She’s been here all weekend, douche bag, you’ve known this.“ Jeffrey joined us at the table with three glasses, shaking his head.     "Yeah, but I figured I’d give y'all a little alone time, if you know what I mean” Norman wiggled his eyebrows at the both of us as he popped open the bottle of Crown, “M’ Lady?” He held the bottle up to me as a question. “It’s 12:30 in the afternoon, Norman.” I giggled and shook my head.      "A double she says!“ he barked out in an Irish accent as he poured a healthy glass before sliding it towards me. I shook my head again as I picked up the tumbler.      "Happy fucking New Year!” Norman shouted as he pushed a drink into Jeff’s hand and raised his own in the air, a little bit splashing on the table.      "Watch the mahogany, dick.“ Jeff jabbed before tossing his glass back and finishing it in two huge gulps.      I lifted my own glass and took a sip, and Norman and Jeff both stared at me like I had an arrow sticking from my head. "What?” I asked, confused as hell. “I thought you were a professional drinker?” Norman teased.      "Norman…“ a halfhearted growl came from Jeff, I just quirked my eyebrow.      "Okay, then.” I shook my head once more as I tilted my head back and downed all the amber liquid in my glass in one gulp, not even cringing at the burn. Both the men’s eyes went wide. “Professional drinker” I pointed out as I exhaled the taste.      "I like 'er, Jeff. Let’s keep her around.“ Norman beamed as he threw his arms over both mine and Jeff’s shoulders, pulling us in towards him.      "Y'all have no idea what ya’ll’re getting yourselves into” I chuckled back, alcohol already bringing the twang out in my voice.      "You know what they say 'bout them Texas girls, boy…wooo-weee" Norman poured us all another double.     “That’ we’re all emotionally unstable, bat shit crazy bitches with drinking problems?” I asked, barking out my own laugh as I raised the second glass to my mouth. Norman and Jeff both looked at me with shocked expressions, “What? It’s the fucking truth?” I took a deep swallow of the liquid. “I think I can handle it” Jeff grinned, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me near him as he downed his whiskey.

By 5 o'clock we had finished the first bottle and were all pretty intoxicated.      "You comin’ to the next convention with us, honey?“ Norman asked as he wedged his way between Jeff and I on the sofa.      "There’s a perfectly good chair right there man” Jeffrey grumbled, motioning to the arm chair with his glass.      "This spot is better. Anyways, darlin’, so, you gonna come see us?“ He asked again. "I have this thing called a job…” I laughed, taking a sip from the glass of whiskey I had cut with a coke I found in the fridge. “And?” Norman deadpanned. “And I need to work. What is with ya’ll?” I shook my head.      "You know Jeff here will make sure your bills get paid,“ Norman stated, nodding his head towards the other man who just gave me a 'well, I would’ face. I rolled my eyes, "I’m not a sugar baby.” “Never said you were.” It was Jeff who replied.      I narrowed my eyes at both of them before getting off the couch to pour me a stiffer drink. 

    The night wore on, and by the 10 o'clock  the second bottle was halfway done, I was laying on the couch drifting in and out of sleep as Norman and Jeffrey talked in the dining room.      "Man, she’s something else,“ Norman chuckled lowly, eyeing my tiny frame snoring softly on the sofa.      "I think this is the first time I’ve actually outdrank her.” Jeff rasped jokingly as he brought his glass to his lips to take a sip. “Everything going alright?” Norman asked with a sideways glance.      "Yeah, brother, everything is great so far. I feel like a 14 year old kid, though.“ Jeffrey sighed as he placed his glass on the table, "I don’t wanna do anything to trigger her, ya know?” “I get it man, but you’re not like that anyway.”      "Obviously, but I’ve seen how that shit can affect someone. The first time I tried to touch her after that piece of shit got to her at Jensens’, damn, man…she was so broken" He trailed off, blinking away the emotions of the memory. “Well that’s why she needs you to help fix her, dude. duh” “I just don’t wanna push the poor girl into feeling like she says she did with that asshole.” “Then don’t.” Norman said like it was the most obvious thing in the world. Jeffrey simply nodded his head and turned to stare at me.

     The next morning I was at the airport, sporting my baggy sweat pants, a tank top with my unzipped Heartagram hoodie, and one of Jeffrey’s beanies I’d stolen. My hangover was in full affect, and I felt like I was going to die from a headache at any moment.      "Whyyyyyy?“ I whined, stomping my foot as I leaned my head into Jeffrey’s sternum, waiting on my bags to be checked.       "It’ll be alright, sweetpea, just have a drink on the plane and get some sleep.” He curled his long arms around my shoulders and kissed the top of my beanie-clad head. “Just what I need, more booze” I grumbled as my stomach turned.      Once my bag was checked and the plane was ready for boarding, Jeffrey engulfed me into his arms and leaned down to smother me in a passionate kiss. His tounge danced around with mine, exploring my mouth with urgency as he tangled a hand in my hair. I couldnt stop the tears from springing to my eyes as his other hand gripped my hip and pulled me as close as I could be to him.      "Shh, baby doll, its okay. Dont cry.“ He whispered as he wiped the few stray tears away from my cheeks. "I can’t help it, I’m such a fucking pussy.” I laughed, shaking my head against his chest. “Then what the hell am I?” He looked down at me, his own watery eyes about to spill over. “A bigger pussy,” I sniffled before giving him the last kiss I could before god knows how long.

part six:  https://hornsbeforehalos.tumblr.com/post/163863683399/anytime-sweetheart-part-6

[evenstevensranked]

#26: Season 3, Episode 13 - “Boy On A Rock”

Louis is under the impression that Twitty's ex-girlfriend Allison is hitting on him judging by the looks they've been exchanging. A plot filled with wonderful miscommunication ensues! Meanwhile, Steve volunteers at LJH and Ren competes against Tom for a spot to march in the annual Rose Parade. 

This one opens with Steve driving Louis, Twitty and Ren to school. Steve takes the opportunity to tell them that he’s signed up to be a parent volunteer at their school, to Louis and Ren’s absolute dismay. It’s pretty great when Louis asks if he’s going to embarrass them and Steve says “Well, that’s probably unavoidable.” Well, at least he knows. But, since he knows he’s embarrassing.. why can’t he make a conscious decision to dial it down?! 

We see that Twitty is talking quietly on the phone to someone before he hangs up and reveals it was Allison and that they just broke up. I love this bit because it comes across as refreshingly grown-up. Another thing that feels more High School than Middle School to me. It’s also a very nice moment for Louis and Twitty’s friendship. Louis is super comforting and soft spoken here all “Dude, I’m sorry...” Awww. I love it. 

At school, the flag core is rehearsing their routine for the annual Rose Parade. Coach Tugnut tells them, “Hey! Don’t get too cocky. One miss-twirl and, well..... We all know what happened to Shamski.” This is so funny. Whatever “unfortunate incident” happened to this Shamski guy has opened up a spot on the team. Literally no one else wants the spot other than Ren, so Tugnut is about to give it to her by default -- until good’ol Tom Gribalski comes jogging into the picture, late due to Opera Club running overtime, hoping to try out. Tugnut tells them both to practice and they’ll hold official tryouts after school. 

Louis is in class about to take a quiz when Allison walks by the door and starts cheekily smiling at him. I swear to god this is so freaking funny. Louis does a double take because... why would she randomly stop and stare at him like that?! There’s this sultry, instrumental Spanish flamenco music playing and it kills me. 

The girl is literally biting her lip... what de heck. 

Of course, this is all it takes for Louis to start thinking he’s God’s gift to earth and that every woman ever must be after him. He goes to talk to Tawny about it and says Allison gave him “The Eye” which is great. Tawny thinks he’s being ridiculous so Louis is all “Sounds like you’re jealous that ~the ladies~ are checkin’ me out.” Oh my god. Tawny says “We had our little thing, and now we’re just friends. I’m fine if the ~ladies~ are checking you out” -- which we know is a lie but okay. Again, this all feels very high school to me and I love it tbh. 

Later in the cafeteria line, Allison gives Louis another look. THE MUSIC KICKS IN AGAIN AND IT’S MY FAVORITE THING. This melody gets stuck in my head constantly. I just hum it and laugh to myself because it’s so dramatic and overly romantic sounding for this situation. Louis is now totally convinced that he’s not crazy and she’s definitely into him. Tawny’s had enough already and flat out asks Allison if she’s been checking him out and she says “I have. I like his look.” WELL, DANG. It’s amazing because as soon as she says that, one single chord from the flamenco guitar plays as she walks away and I die every time. This counts as music humor to me. 

Louis gets lost in his thoughts and it zooms into his brain to show us these two elderly men chillin at a Deli discussing the current drama of Louis’ life. WHAT?! 

This show is so freaking random. I don’t even know where they come up with this stuff. I used to think these guys were stupid and pointless, which they kinda are. Especially since we’ve never seen them before and they’re only featured in this one episode. But, the more I thought about it.. the more I started to find it hilarious. One of them thinks Louis should go for it and date Allison, the other thinks it’s wrong because she’s his best friend’s ex. Um, I agree with the latter. Twitty and Allison broke up THAT MORNING and Louis is already considering going in for the kill. I cannot. He’s insane. But that’s already been established many times and these Deli men are just the icing on the cake. 

Just then, Steve busts out of the kitchen shouting “HOWDY, KIDS! STEP RIGHT UP TO BIG STEVE’S TEXAS BARBECUE!” Are you kidding me right now? Yeah, ya know how I said if Steve knows he’s embarrassing he should just do his best to dial it down? It’s like he purposely turned it up to 11: 

I love how Shia does the shirt-over-the-head thing to hide from the embarrassment, lol.

Cut to the flag core tryouts. Ren tries her best, but of course, Tom blows her away. Some stock music that reminds me of “76 Trombones” from The Music Man plays while he does his routine, lol. Steve is now on trash duty and comes over to Ren and asks how it went. She says she’ll probably be watching the parade from home again and Steve is clearly a little mad. You can tell he’s gonna do something about it which... come on, man. Let the better person win. Coach Tugnut goes on to say one of my favorite lines when Tom asks which one of them made the team: “Well, I could tell you that right now... But it would be better for your character if I were to prolong the agony for a couple more hours.” So good. Tugnut says quite a few gems throughout the series, tbh. 

Tawny is me once again and confronts Louis about him seriously considering getting together with Allison. She, too, agrees that it’s way too soon. It cuts to the Deli guys and one of them just says “What does she know?! Ehh, this corned beef is too fatty!” which just makes me laugh. Louis suddenly agrees about it being too soon and says he’ll put a stop to whatever’s brewing between him and Allison IMMEDIATELY. Just then, Allison approaches him and it takes all of 0.5 seconds for Louis to completely cave. 

The flamenco music is playing again here, btw. 

Honestly, y’all gotta hear what this music sounds like for yourself so it can be hilariously stuck in your head too:

Louis goes to the bathroom to talk to himself (and the guys in his head) out loud, as you do when you’re in crisis. Speaking of the bathroom, ya know how I’ve mentioned a few times that Louis moved up to 8th grade in Season 3? Well, this scene is one of the few that definitely confirm it!! The door clearly tells us that he’s in the 8th grade bathroom. Ayyyy!

Still not sure why the bathrooms are segregated like that tho??? Is that a thing?

Tom is in one of the stalls practicing his flag routine and Louis is shocked. He’s all “TOM! What were you doing in there?!” but Tom turns the tables “The better question is, who are you talking to out here?” Gotta love how Louis owns his craziness and explains “OH! Well, there’s these two old guys who hang out at a Deli in my head and help me out with lifes little problems.” Fantastic. Louis asks Tom where Templeton Park is and we get one of the best moments ever. (Tumblr won’t let me embed more than one thing, so click that link to see what I’m talking about. Tom is the GREATEST.) So, yeah. Louis finds out that people call it “Temptation Park” because it’s a popular makeout spot. Seriously, these kids are in high school ok. I refuse to believe otherwise. 

Basically, to shorten and simplify this subplot: Steve bribes Tugnut with donuts so that Ren will get the spot on the flag core... which she does. Ren finds out and gets mad because she a very fair-and-square person. So, she in turn bribes Tugnut with a cheese calzone to ensure Tom gets the spot instead... which he does. THE END!

Ren handing her flag over to Tom -- whose life has just been made. 

Louis is a nervous wreck around Twitty because he obviously knows that he should not be messing around with Allison in any way shape or form. So when Twitty asks if he wants to hang out later, Louis makes up some bogus excuse about needing to go sock shopping with his dad. Wow. As usual, Twitty knows that something’s up. 

CUT TO ~TEMPTATION PARK~! The miscommunication culminates here and I love it so much. Louis meets Allison at the park and she lays out a blanket for them and everything. They get comfortable and she asks “Soo, you wanna try something fun?” and Louis’ voice cracks so bad when he answers “.......su..re....” Oh my freaking god. He’s totally thinking they’re about to makeout or something and it’s too much. It only gets worse when she asks him to slip into a bathing suit she brought with her. I’m dyin right now. The guys in his head are all “No good can come of this!!” - Ain’t that the truth. This is where Louis draws the line. He tells her that Twitty is his best friend and what they’re doing is VERY VERY WRONG. Allison is confused out of her mind like “....what are we doing?” Then we get one of my favorite Louis quotes: 

I cannot get over how CONFIDENT Louis is?! He thought he could easily make a 36 year old woman fall in love with him. Now he assumes Allison can’t resist his gorgeousness as if he’s 1997 Leonardo DiCaprio. Chill, Louis. 

It’s here that we finally learn the real reason why Allison has been checking him out and invited him to the park. She explains “I don’t want to date you, I want to paint you!” Louis is crumbling, oh man... And it only gets worse. She says she wants to recreate her favorite painting “Boy On A Rock” and she was staring at Louis so much because said boy on the rock is literally Louis:

I swear, if Shia had to actually sit for that painting... that is iconic and yet another poster that should exist if Even Stevens ever becomes as big as Seinfeld. Which it won’t. But still. I’d buy it. It’s actually a real painting by Dan Haberkorn, who was the art director for the show. He has it up on his website in high quality! It’s amazing. I so wish he’d sell prints/posters of it! Gah. 

Allison just keeps going on about the similarities between Louis and the painting: “See? Not really handsome, kinda of quirky, a little off...” “OK I GET IT!” Louis interrupts, lol. That must’ve been a wakeup call. Since Louis stopped their non-existent relationship because of Twitty, Allison tells him he’s a very good friend. I like that. They’re cool after that and Louis poses for the painting. (cover photo) I love the quote here: 

Allison: “Louis, you look perfect. Except you’re missing one thing...” 

Louis: “My dignity?”

Twitty happens to be passing through the park and sees Allison running her hands through Louis' hair to make it look more like the original painting. Twitty gets pissed at Louis for lying which leads to the most ridiculous chase sequence. The way Shia runs is so funny, omg. There’s also some stock song that’s sung in gibberish or something that plays here and it always gets stuck in my head, too. Which sucks because there are no actual lyrics, lol. Louis falls into some mud while running which irks me every time. That poor bathing suit! 

He ends up wandering into the middle of some girl scout meeting. They call him a mud monster, accidentally toss a cake on his head, and start chasing him as well, lol. These chases are also amazing because Louis is screaming the entire time, and we all know how great his scream is. Twitty eventually catches up to him and I love this dialogue so much:

Twitty: "So, why're you running?"

Louis: "CAUSE YOU'RE CHASIN' ME, TWITTY!"

My mom and I quote this at least once a week. This is a nice scene, though. The two of them have a heart to heart. Louis basically says it was stupid to let a girl come between them, so they agree that “from now on it’s friends first” -- Disney’s way of saying “bros b4 hoes” which is definitely what two 14 year old middle school boys would say instead. 

Then the girl scouts catch up to him again and the episode fades out on Louis running from them: 

Some say he’s still running today...

And that’s it! This is one of my personal favorites, guys. I LOVE the Louis plot here, haha. I’ve said before, I’m a sucker for teen drama and seeing Louis spiral into insanity over girls will never not be entertaining and endearing. I think this episode is funny, solid, fast-paced, and quotable! AND again, it’s a personal fave. This one has a lot going for it imo. It kinda kills me to place this one at 26, juuuust shy of the Top 25 (which, can you believe we’re about to hit the Top 25?! I can’t!) but yeah. I like this Ren plot too because it involves Tom and he is the best. 

In case you missed the last entry you can read it here. 

Thanks for reading! 

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[kingsofeverything]

Do you get why people fight for things, right? We all know real life isn't like tumblr, we go outside, we are attacked outside, that's why we get overly protective here, because this is supposed to be a safe space, we have the opportunity to express ourselves in ways we can't in real life and the fact you don't understand that and are reblogging that kind of stuff, not only that but with those types of tags, makes me incredibly sad because I thought you were better than that

hey, so, i’m sorry if i’ve upset you, but i’ll try to explain things from my point of view. first of all, i’m not sure if you’re talking about something specific or not. 

i was just talking this morning about tumblr and how there are a lot of aspects about it that i don’t understand. and i’m going to try to hop back and forth to those tags and see if i make any sense at all. also i’m going to try to respond to what you’ve said in your message. 

the ‘i thought you were better than that’ at the end is kind of condescending. the rest of your message isn’t as bad though. 

i totally get why people fight for things. i fight for things. i’ll 100% admit that being a white woman married to a dude makes things easier. still, it doesn’t stop people from coming up in my yard and stealing the rainbow flag off of my house. it doesn’t stop people from hating me as soon as they find out i’m an atheist. it doesn’t make it easier to be out as bisexual, which i’m not, really. when i went to march in dc in january, i was scared, but i went anyway. 20 years ago being accosted at a car wash by some woman yelling at me because the bumper sticker on my car meant that i didn’t believe in god, and calming explaining my views to her? that’s real life. 

and that is what i was thinking about reblogging that post. if you’re bothered by something, DO take it outside. Do donate if you can. DO vote. DO go and protest and write letters and call politicians and volunteer and HELP PEOPLE. THAT IS PART OF WHAT THAT POST MEANS TO ME. staying on tumblr and bitching about other people’s opinions and indirecting people doesn’t DO ANYTHING. 

and maybe you’re one of the people who DOES SOMETHING but a lot of people on this website are all talk and no action. so many people on this website are here for condemning other people’s opinions while sitting on their asses and not doing anything to change things irl.

tumblr is not a safe space and i don’t see why anyone would see it that way. not when anyone you follow can reblog anything they want and it can pop up on your dash. just as an example, the number of reblogs of gifs of liam’s video when it has flashing in it? when i’ve seen more than one post asking people to tag it? and that’s just about someone having an uncontrollable physical reaction. that’s not touching on the emotional reactions people can have to things. that i’ve had to things that i’ve read or seen. 

and!!! here’s the thing. you could be messaging me about the whole kiwi thing, or about people being mad about louis’ pr and situation. you could be referring to a post i reblogged recently about the word queer, it could be ANYTHING. and that, i think, is kind of the point.

i hate indirects. i hate reading things and only seeing half of whatever bullshit is happening. i hate fucking name calling. it’s disgusting behavior. one of the first things i saw today when i opened my laptop was a post that was “joking” saying that jeff leaked liam’s video. and idek where the whole blame jeff thing started, AND I DON’T WANT TO KNOW, all i know is that it is apparently one person’s opinion that he orchestrated something. and what happened? people apparently jumped all over that person. and are still making snide, indirecting posts about it days later. it’s mean. 

while i’m sitting here typing this out, i have gotten like 4 more anons that i just peeked at and apparently this post is about kiwi. lord. okay.

what i said, word for word this morning in my group chat was this… i copied and pasted:

i just want to say about the kiwi thing. that i can see how if someone was abused and also knew what hard candy could mean in certain situations, that they would be hurt or bothered by that. and with the dramatics of this fandom, of course they’ll take it to another level. BUT then there are some people who are using things like that as a reason to hate harry and it’s just crossing a line. BUT ALSO the reaction to that? has been over the top. the name calling is ridiculous.

and this is part of what that post was about to me. i wasn’t thinking about kiwi. i wasn’t thinking about anything specifically when i reblogged it. other than the random bullshit drama that i see every single day on this website. 

the one tag on that post that says “you can’t have an opinion without immediately being attacked for it” is literally being demonstrated in my inbox right now. and i didn’t’ even express an opinion! 

so, to elaborate on my copy/paste up there: i think that, if someone was sexually abused and knew of the term hard candy in reference to that, then of course they’d be hurt and offended! and they have every right to be. and i support their right to feel the way they want to feel. everyone has the right to feel the way they feel. explaining their thoughts, feelings, and opinions? totally cool and i appreciate that because otherwise i wouldn’t understand what they’re talking about. where i draw the line is when i see posts that start name calling or accusing other people of making excuses for the line or for harry or accusing people of not caring about abuse victims simply because the words hard candy don’t mean the same to them. 

idek where i’m going here. but what i’m saying is that when i reblogged that post i’d just seen a post that was indirecting someone for having an opinion. i’d just had a conversation in my gc about the whole tumblr thing about pushing opinions on people. i was just thinking about one of my mutuals who posted some about being hurt by kiwi and i was thinking about how i really hoped that some of the bullshit i’d seen yesterday wasn’t pointed toward them because they’re nice and sweet and they voice opinions on their own blog, but they don’t go around indirecting and name calling. 

also, i tried to avoid tumblr yesterday. first thing this morning i said the same thing. because i didn’t know what was going on and i didn’t want to spend hours reading up and researching. so whatever kiwi discussion anons are referring to to me, i wasn’t here for it.

god, this has gotten long. and i haven’t had enough coffee. so i’m going to wrap this up here and say that, if the anons in my inbox who are now

1) name calling

2) making assumptions about the thoughts i had when i reblogged a post

3) and are anonymously nasty

read this, i hope you rethink the way you react to things.

[ohgaston]

Facts of Life

And I was tagged by lovely @weinsanedreamer55 because she’s awesome. Rules: Tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better Really, personally? I want to know about all of you, so feel free to play, I’m tagging you all <3 But, I won’t actually tag, because I feel like I’m bothering. How old are you? 26. What are some of your talents? I guess I’m good at writing? Yes, I’m good at writing. Also I can play piano. Help, I can’t think about anything else. What is a big goal you’re working towards? Now I’m working on improving my writing and get more things published. Also trying to improve my english, and learn german. What is your aesthetic? Ohh, this is interesting.  A Phantom Of The Opera style mask. “IT’S ALIVE” on capital letters. Probably “Mad, Bad, and Dangerous to Know”, and a person lying dramatically over a piano with a rose between their lips. What’s one topic you always talk about? Gosh, recently I’m talking to no one. Only small talk. Here on Tumblr, I’m pretty much obsessed over Beauty and the Beast, I think everyone noticed already. What are some of your biggest pet peeves? I have to quote @weinsanedreamer55 here: “When people are unnecessarily rude to me. I’m a generally nice person but if you piss me off I tend to get angry easily.(...) Another thing that I hate is drama on Tumblr when people get overly defensive and angry for no reason.” And @buscaosotroarbol “People who are mean, honestly, Idk if that sounds lame, but the older I get the less tolerance I have for mean people.” What’s some good advice you’d like to give? Hm, I’m not good at giving advice, but I guess people should do whatever they want, as long as they don’t hurt another being (including themselves). So, be yourself, do what you want, and don’t feel guilty over this. Put yourself on the first place, you deserve it. Three songs I recommend? Für Elise - Beethoven Who’s Laughing Now? - Jessie J Brain Damage/Eclipse - Pink Floyd (Be eclectic, people).