#can you tell xenk just breaks me

[thegreencarousel]

A witch older than even himself, told him that the weight of his virtues will drown him one day. Xenk had merely tipped his head at her courteously, heeding her cryptid words but not taking it to heart. He was not afraid of death. Not when fear of death was what had taken away his family and tore his soul apart. However as ominous as her words sounded, the witch did not mean his death. She had seen a boy who had lost too much and was given nothing. He thought himself living on the the periphery of others’ existence, a spectator in their joys and sorrow. In thinking that his life was spared and extended for something greater, he forgot that it too was like leaves in the wind. Fleeting, but never alone unless he walked it so.

[honeybubblegumpink]

Dungeons and dragons honor among thieves

◦•●◉✿ 𝕩𝕖𝕟𝕜 𝕪𝕖𝕟𝕕𝕒𝕣 𝕩 𝕣𝕖𝕒𝕕𝕖𝕣 ✿◉●•◦ [𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟚]

𝙽𝚘𝚝𝚎: 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜! 𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚜𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚐𝚛𝚊𝚖𝚖𝚊𝚛 𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎. 𝙴𝚗𝚐𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚑 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚒𝚛𝚜𝚝 𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚞𝚊𝚐𝚎 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚘𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍.

"Let's begin shall we? " I smiled to myself I started to sing my song and walk toward the bridge. I see that everyone is following behind me as is sing louder and louder.

I need to hurry because I don't know how that wild wolf can hold xenk yendar for long . And I know that beast won't last long. Because I can see him running back here. He most have know that I was the one who trapped that child and something wasn't right .

I turn around and see that all the people of the village are on the bridge because of my spell. The bridge won't last long as it's made of wood . The wood isn't that strong since it beginning to rot at the bottom .

The river is deep so that one more advantage for me. I stopped singing .

" you're late deary ~ " I said and turns to xenk yendar .

" let them go. " xenk said drawing his sword.

" no can do sir xenk " I said. Xenk take a step forward and I make the villager take a step back. Xenk stop in his tracks knowing if he take another step the villager would back away and into the middle of the bridge where it will be unable to hold for that many people.

" it seems I was right about you " he said

" you knew? And you didn't do anything to stop me?" I said taunting him trying to get him mad because. They say that xenk yendar never get irritated or mad.

" that's quite unheroic of you sir xenk " I said resting my hand on my hips

" I was just giving you a chance to see if you change . Because everyone deserve to have chance to be good-" I cut him off at his sentence because it irritated me .

" oh please I'm getting bored just by listening to you. Will you stop talking. This is supposed to be fun exciting-"

" it anything but fun or exciting, quite the opposite really. Your putting the villager in danger. They treated you kindly when you step foot in this village." I roll my eye at xenk and cross my arms.

" yea, yea they where fools to- " I stop talking and dodge blade he trew at me that was millimeter away from my face. I look back where xenk was standing but he wasn't there then I felt his hand on my head. I turned and kick his hand away but as the paladin he is he dodged the attack easily.

" I don't understand you could have killed me but you just use your cleansing touch? " I said avoiding his hands, I grabbed a dagger that I hid under my belt to defend myself. I'm not a fool, I knew he's way to strong for me and much faster.

If only I could have my full power back I would have get away with a scratch .

" you most be weak or is your strength taken by someone ? Because ive never fought with a siren this weak. They always attack in a group. I'm guessing you where banished or outclassed from where you came from ? " Xenk said , I stop and felt annoyed by looking at him

" I pity you. Y/n " that was the last straw I had enough of xenk insulting me.

" then don't ! " I came from behind him and try to stab him at the back but he caught my wrist and pulled me close

" tell me what you are after miss y/n " his breath fan my face, we are so close that we could almost kiss. I tried to break free from his grip by using the other hand but he caught it too

" tell me- " xenk was cut of from his sentence as we heard something breaking we both turned and saw the bridge falling . I took the opportunity to pull my hand back and back away. I chuckled at him as his face was full of worry for the people on that bridge.

" looks like the bridge is about to collapse. If I where you I wouldnt waste my time on a little weak siren. So What will you do sir xenk? Continue to take me out and let all the 200 people drown ? Or let me go and save all 200 people in danger? " I said snapping my fingers and let the people snap out of my spell

They all gained they're senses and realize they where all on the bridge . They panic by running and screaming because the bridge can't support all of them at once and there are at least 200 people on tht bridge. The began to get off the bridge but it was to late the bridge collapse and all the people on the bridge began to fall into the river.

Xenk let's go of me and run toward the river. He began to take off his coat before diving to the water. As he is busy with saving people I begin to doing my mission.

I smiled and head of to xenk house to see what he has for me of use. I kicked the door open and when to every corner of the room I checked everywhere and there's nothing. I check the closest drawers and bed but nothing. The next thing I check was the floors and walls , I knocked on the wooden panels until I heard a click from one of the wooden floors.

I pulled the lid to reveal a basement , I light a candle and head down. I was amazed of how many books there where. I quickly go through then then I came a cross of a book about the red sorcorer . I quickly put it in my bag and some other scrolls before heading out. I stole some potions and other valuables but the most important was the heart of the sea that is what I came for .

I picked up slash hammer and head towards the water fountain. I begin destroying the fountain until a medal box was revealed.

" found it. " I said. The story of the heart of sea is a long one it provides this village water. Long long time ago this part of the land was just a desert. Until a man front he village saved a siren by giving his water for her to drink. The siren thanked him by giving him the heart of the sea. she told him how the heart of the sea works . The man brought it back home and show it to the villagers. And that faithfull day they had water since. the heart of the ocean made a river's for them so they can have water and fish. Many tried to steal the heart of the sea but failed because its protected by siren spell. only the man and the siren from the royal blood can take it

I pulled the the heart of the sea out of the box

" finally I can go home now " I said looking at the blue stone

I quickly pack my things and exist the building. I can see from afar that xenk is pulling people out of the water , some of them that could swim help. I felt a slight guilt but ignored it and pulled my hood to cover my face. I grabed a sword and head towards the stables to get a hoars. I saddle up and put my things on the hoars .

" okay pall let's go "I climb up the hoars and got ready to head out until I felt a sharp pain behind my neck. I fall off the hoars and got ready to hit the ground but felt someone catching me

" Im sorry but I can't let you leave with that stone miss y/n "

" fucking Asshole ." I said

" sorry but I don't quite understand you by that. Do you want to get-"

" it's a fucking metaphor you old-" that's the was my last sentence before passing out because of his cleansing touch.

»»————> <————««

𝚃𝚑𝚊𝚗𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝙸 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝚒𝚝'𝚜 𝚜𝚑𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚑𝚎𝚢 𝙸'𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚏𝚏𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚖𝚘𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚠𝚛𝚒𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚜 𝚋𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚔. (இдஇ; )

𝚂𝚎𝚎 𝚐𝚞𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝚙𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝟹 ☆(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*

[writeious-hand]

Holding Out for a Hero: Part 2

Okay, so it seems people want more of this... I have ideas, but to be clear I am VERY BAD at updating and keeping up with a project. But I'll do my best. I have a job that is very demanding during the weekdays, so if there are updates they will be on the weekends.

No Beta, we die like men.

Xenk x Cleric!OC - angst, and mentions of a break-up/ghosting?

Alariel had almost forgotten what he looked like.

To any other, it would seem like he was unaffected by the passage of time. But she could see the barest touch of lines on his face, the slightest fade to the color of his hair. The age showed most in his eyes. He looked... tired.

Not like she should care.

Not like she didn't still care.

But she felt like all the progress she had made since he left went back down the drain as soon as their eyes met. Instead of being the mature eleth she had become, she was back to being the lovesick young girl who didn't know better. Who believed in the happily ever after once the knight and the princess go riding off into the sunset.

She allowed herself a moment. Just one before the walls she had been working on for so long came back up.

"Why are you here?" Her voice was as cold as steel.

"I have sworn to aid these people in getting rid of the threat of the Wizards of Thay. I didn't realize..." Xenk had started strong, but quickly lost his stoic confidence in seeing the moment of heartbreak lingering in her eyes. They continued staring, no words passing between them and the entire group felt tense.

Edgin started to speak but was almost immediately interrupted.

"Then I apologize, but I must be leaving. I am sure if you have him, you would not need help from a lowly knowledge cleric like myself." Alariel refused to speak his name again. It would be accepting that he was here, that he had returned to her and any memories she had of him were already working to the surface of her thoughts.

"But we need your help!" Edgin moved around to block her path away from them. "We need to kill these guys for good, and according to Xenk-" She practically flinched when Edgin said his name, "you are the only one that can do that type of magic."

"You need my help?" She responded to Edgin but was talking to Xenk.

"That's what he said." Hogla got elbowed by Kira.

"I just learned that there is some bad blood between you, but whatever this gentleman did I am sure was entirely a miscommunication. -"

"Oh yes, I'm sure breaking off our engagement and ending our courtship was just a miscommunication." Edgin took a step back from where he had almost reached out to grab her arm, realizing he had fucked up. "That leaving me behind with just a letter and his ring was just an honest mistake and telling me his love wasn't enough to make him stay was just an accident."

Even Doric hissed in pain at that one. Her words struck the paladin like crossbow bolts.

"No. While I understand the dangers the red wizards possess and wish you luck in your endeavors to put them to rest for good, I cannot... I will not put myself through the pain. I'm sorry, but I think it is high time I leave Loudwater. My mission here ended weeks ago. I will send a letter to my home temple in Cormyr, and ask them to grant you safety there, but I will promise nothing more."

Edgin let Alariel walk away after that.

She gathered her supplies and packed up her many journals and quills, the travel desk folding up along with her many quills and pens. Alariel was moving like she had been enchanted, it wasn't until she was shoving the fur blankets from her bedroll into her bag of holding that she realized she was even crying.

He had been distant the week before he left, at the same time closer than he normally allowed himself. Brushing the hair from her face, lingering hands after helping her onto her horse. But then she woke to a cold fire pit, and an empty chamber. Not that they had even shared a bed, the paladin took his vows much too seriously for that. But the other bed in the room didn't even look slept in.

She had found his ring on the dresser, and the letter tucked into her journal, in his pages.

Alariel,

By the time you are reading this, I will be far from you. That is assuming you sleep in to your normal hours. If you awake earlier, I ask you not to come after me.

It brings me no joy to write this letter, but I have realized something vital. This relationship is harmful to both of us and while I have enjoyed your company, I know my fate. So I leave you this ring, in hopes you will find someone who deserves it more than I do.

While I do not renounce my love for you, I do not wish to prolong your pain any further. It would be cruel of me. This was inevitable.

You have your mission and I have mine. We are pulled in opposite directions and it is my sincere wish that our paths will never cross again.

Xenk Yendar

And she had gone 100 years hearing nothing of her ex-fiance but rumors on the wind. She had heard he was around the Sword Coast but that had been decades ago and assumed he had moved on. She had tried to move on, but few respected her path and lifestyle, her journey of collecting the stories of the common folk and heroes alike. Those who did understand, their lives were fleeting compared to her own. It was inevitable heartbreak.

She wiped her tears. Now was not the time to fall apart. Alariel could be on the road by the evening, but she would at least take a day to say goodbye to the friends she would be leaving behind in Loudwater, like Zedroar and the children she taught the legends to. With any luck, she would never see Xenk Yendar again.

[omgkalyppso]

Hi i've been insomnia scrolling thru étoile's tag reading as much as i can about them & i LOVE paladin characters, and the devotion => oathbreaker pipeline in particular is sooooo tasty (my first tav had that trajectory), so i was wondering if you could share more about that aspect of their character (sorry if you have somewhere else and i just haven't found it yet)

You're so very kind, thank you! (:

I have a post about what I allowed to cause their Oathbreaking in-game.

But I'm happy to elaborate! (Me @ me: That's not necessary—)

I also have a few scattered posts about the following details that I'm happy to compile in one place.

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The [temporary camp character] I'm referring to in that linked Oathbreaking post is Arabella, and she asked if we'd found her parents. And I was like, okay let me not have this conversation covered in blood— But there was no way to back out of that conversation "neutrally," I guess, the best option being "I haven't found them yet. (lie)" And the Oathbreaker Spirit saying "Something in you has broken" for that was so annoying, but someone told me that it completely explained why the stereotype of classic d&d Paladins was Like That and why Xenk's characterization in D&D Honor Among Thieves was the way that it was.

For Xenk specifically, his inability to make exceptions to upholding goodness paired with his way of speaking ("Just because that sentence is symmetrical doesn't make it not nonsense.") is entirely constructed to avoid Oathbreaking = losing his god's favour, losing his abilities, and breaking his code of honour. Perhaps if Étoile had been able to tell Arabella, "That which can be found must first be lost." Then they would have avoided lying / Oathbreaking; or maybe they should have just been honest and ignored the blood.

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Their mother, Wylla, being a Paladin in Tamriel (Skyrim, ESO) meant she had entirely different constraints on her morality (none). I think this means that her Oath in the Forgotten Realms was almost so vague as to be meaningless. Let me come up with an Oath to satisfy myself and move on from this point:

Oath of Kinship

Allegiance Above All. Defend those who would call you ally. Never turn against your kin.

Mercy. Offer patience and forgiveness to enemies that change their hearts.

Rivalry. Challenge peers and adversaries with pride and prowess. Flaunt wisdom and ability.

Honor Your Community. Strive to support your friends and respect the boundaries of your neighbours.

Easy enough for Wylla to reason out that anyone who looks on her with fear as they die hasn't truly changed their heart, and all who seek to injure her family isn't kin.

.

But her Oath is important because it would have been her achievements that initially inspired and motivated Étoile to continue down this path. Her training could have changed to just protecting their home if Étoile had instead pursued something more like being a priest of Auril, or to just protecting themself if Étoile had wanted to leave the mountain for any other life. It was an Oath she kept from her outset as a Paladin, which would have been around 27 years of age, until her death at 66. 39 years.

I think of Zevlor too, and how he might've been a Paladin from a young man. I'll say 23, to his Oathbreaking (whether after leaving his order when Elturel returned from Avernus or after Act 2, depending on your perspective) — I held a poll and found most people think he's 45 years old, I like 64 for Zevlor; that's either 22 years or 41 years in his Oath.

Étoile expected to live in their Oath for centuries. They were setting up a way of life for themself. They only managed from the ages of 100 to 166, but that's 66 years, and longer than either of these other two Paladins, and probably many more besides.

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Auril, Étoile's forgotten realms deity, has had a surprising number of Chosen in my opinion, and at least two, possibly three, that seem to be concurrent. I would have assumed a god could only have one Chosen at a time!

One of her Chosen was the Neutral Good Bard Artus Cimber, a famous adventurer who held titles such as, Master Historian, Grumog's Bane, and God Slayer.

I think that such a devout and revered member of Auril's faithful was able to maintain both her favour and their alignment had also instilled a hope (or even an expectation) that Étoile would be able to get through their own trials without Oathbreaking / changing too much.

They do love people and strive to protect them, though for others that has meant death. They wouldn't have thought siding with the living of two choices (He Who Was vs Madeline) would have been perceived as the evil action, especially with how they personally felt about Madeline's actions.

They had already been allied with beings that most Paladins would have not tolerated due to stricter definitions of evil, and somehow these actions had been forgivable, but not this.

It made them a little crueller, more willing to express hatred and impatience, to side with evil beings and choices, no longer required to uphold their Oath, only their dignity.

With this in mind:

They were able to support Shadowheart through the loss of her faith and way of life, and eventually to support her in spitting in Shar's eye for the sake of reuniting her with family.

They signed Raphael's pact instantly.

Their greatest fear has always been a loss of autonomy and the Emperor's actions and presence was a direct risk to that, if not an outright flaunting of that power: Étoile remembers their body twisting on its own to find that first illithid parasite. They never used their ~Abilities~, though it can be noted that they did debate the temptations a lot in Act 2, never deciding it was worth the risk. And then knowing the Emperor had witnessed their every intimate moment, and possibly their every private thought, for the past few tendays, was unforgivable.

They liked Lae'zel more than the Emperor. Raphael had been the first entity to uphold part of a promise by giving them the privacy of their own mind for five minutes, and what did Étoile care if the war in the hells shifted in his favour. Getting the Crown of Karsus off the Material Plane sounded like a wonderful fucking idea. Mystra had made no promises to Gale about removing his or the others' illithid parasites and based on Gale's experience with her, Étoile didn't think she would! Karlach wanted to steal the contract, but Étoile thought Raphael would make a better ally than Mystra than he would make an enemy.

Étoile was like half-way through their signature when Raphael added that he wouldn't even use the Crown to dominate people on the Material Plane or whatever the fuck and like ? oh, that's nice.

They would have allowed Astarion to kill his siblings if he'd thought that was best, but they couldn't let him kill the spawn, that was too many. People he didn't know, with just as much capacity for growth as he'd had. Étoile had lived on the outskirts of a village of 400 — not even in the village! — the scope of 7000 was just so many.

While Étoile would never, under any circumstances, risk their mother's life, their relationship to her was far different than Wyll's relationship to his father. They convinced him to get out of his pact; in Étoile's opinion if Ulder truly cared for Wyll then he wouldn't want him to stay indebted to Mizora, and if he didn't then fuck him Wyll deserved better.

Their only real regret that was part of their "base canon" was not offering to go with Karlach to Avernus. I kept hoping Wyll would offer after they added that possibility, but it never happened in Étoile's primary save file. I'd like to play them again sometime, and hopefully then the end of Wyll's quest won't be bugged for them and we can finish the stuff with Ansur. Étoile was afraid, and selfish, and had things they wanted to do / people and causes they were devoted to on the Material Plane, so they didn't offer.

And I say "base canon" because keep the headcanon that a piece of the Mourning Frost / the upgraded Dead of Winter in their personal quest, is able to magically cool Karlach's raging heart and allow her to remain on the Material Plane.

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Also sharing this post about post-canon Étoile written before the epilogue came out.

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I think their Devotion never truly leaves them, but they can never return to their Order (which is part of why I never bothered naming it) and can never rise in the ranks. They would also feel they don't deserve the respect of a Paladin, especially ones living in their Oaths, and I feel many others would also feel this way about them. But they killed people before their Oath, during, and after. It's only their conduct that's changed, and not so much that they're unrecognizable from Neutral Good to Neutral Evil, but enough that they feel it, and enough that it terrifies those who relied on their goodness — even Astarion balks at the idea of the pact with Raphael.

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From my Bad At Biting fic; Étoile x Astarion:

“A single night would suffice [for a vampire to turn someone into a vampire spawn],” Astarion confirmed, whilst Étoile took a deep breath between their teeth. “Death is the requirement.” He winced through his smile, waiting a moment while his gaze danced between their person and their visage. “You let me lead you very close last night.” Despite their recent understanding of their circumstances, Étoile still managed to smile in response. The answer was easy. There was a fellowship in surviving starvation in the north, and a camaraderie in those who ran from the same enemies, who sought comparable freedoms. Étoile’s mother had eaten people, and their own hands were hardly clean — not like their conscience. Denying a vampire a mouthful of blood hardly felt in-line with their upbringing. They knew their Oath, and they knew their code, the path where they met was always going to be difficult, and hard for others to understand. Even vampires, it seemed. “I trusted you would stop,” Étoile said generously, more believable in past-tense than it might have been in the moment.

From my Magic In The Air fic; Étoile x Gan (evil path) (headcanons about the limits of Auril's magic):

“Three years ago,” Étoile explained, “Auril was defeated by a group of adventurers. It’s what put a stop to her Everlasting Rime. When she died, I lost use of Ray of Frost until she was reborn on the following winter solstice.” They closed their hand, tighter than they needed to to dispel the magic. “So there are limits to the distribution of magic,” Étoile concluded. “Even innate.” Gan’s poise and patience should have felt distancing, they were ever sharp and unabashed in their valuations of their enemies and allies both, but Étoile couldn’t help feeling mollified by her attention. Étoile hoped that Gan would recognize this extension of their trust in baring this vulnerability. “Between our … victory over the grove,” Étoile said, dropping their hand to their side, squaring their posture, “and the following night, I could not use magic that was powered by my oath as a Paladin, not until that was restored by the Oathbreaker Knight, but even then, despite losing my capacity to be her Paladin, I was still Auril’s faithful, and … this spell wasn’t lost to me, as maybe I felt it should have been.” “You’re stricter with yourself than your goddess?” Gan asked, amusement in their tone and an sympathetic tilt in their brow. Étoile scoffed through a smile. “It had just been some time since— Well. I’d been living in Baldur’s Gate and among … people. If I had only been trying to live and learn, maybe I would’ve been different, but with those I grew close to, I was trying to advocate for my own manner of people — and to do that, included bending to laws and morality that are not the providence of my god. It is a relief to know that she would still have me, regardless.”

[sparrowsarus]

Please tell me about Abhorsen!Ed. I want to know all the things. I maybe recently spent hours looking through my DnD books for the best way to build an Abhorsen type character, and I *need* this, even if it's just you and me talking about how cool it would be.

we will convince everyone!! Also please share your findings.

Abhorsen!Ed is somewhat strewn all over the place, without narrative or cohesion. I think it would be a horribly messy cross-class of sorcerers (linked to a bloodline), wizards (you still gotta learn!) and the patronage of Kelemvor, who's gig is death and who is offended by the undead, as a rule. I have a sloppy potential bullet list here. But I have decided that Xenk is actually affected, but less so? He can break the control the bells have on him via the power of prayer or something, but they make his molars itch.

Also it isn't till after the movie that Ed gets the sword and bells, I've decided. He can walk in Death briefly, but it is stupid and a last resort, and he's only done it once.

The river and precinct remains from the Old Kingdom, because it is very important to me and is linked to a touching scene wherein Zia (returned to life for just long enough to wield Astarael to help defeat Szass Tam; thinking that she was trapped in Death by the Red Wizards instead of killed outright, but Ed had no way of knowing.) asks Ed to walk her home? and he walks her to the ninth precinct and watches her go. I tell you this cause it's the only real scene I've got. What happens beyond the Ninth is knowledge forbidden to Abhorsens and laypeople alike, so Ed has to let her go, again.

And the bells! who wields them at the binding? So far we have

Kira: Ranna is the Sleeper, the smallest bell, with a sweet and low sound, which brings sleep to those who hear it.

Simon: Mosrael is the Waker, a harsh and rowdy bell, which brings dead bodies to life as the wielder falls into Death in a see-saw effect.

Holga: Kibeth is the Walker, a difficult and contrary bell of several sounds, which can make others go where you wish.

Doric: Belgaer is the Thinker, a tricksome bell that seeks to ring of its own accord, which allows independent thought for the Dead, or erases memories.

Ed: Dyrim is the Speaker, a musical bell with a clear and pretty tone, which allows speech or makes things mute, and can silence someone if their tongue moves too freely.

Xenk: Saraneth is the Binder, the deepest, lowest bell, which forces the listener to obey the wielder's will.

Zia: Astarael is the Weeper, the largest bell, which throws all who hear it, including the wielder, deep into Death. (hundred hundred heartbeats)

Stay tuned for more unhinged Abhorsen!Ed posting! Give me your opinions!