#can you tell idk how to draw remus’s outfit

[crowncoconut]

Hellooooo sasi tumblr 😼 Take this art if u even care. Based off of WTIT bc it’s my fav episode

(Pose from The Reluctant Bride (1866) by Auguste Toulmouche)

Click for better quality

[raven-the-claw]

A Complete Guide To Chaotic Academia

bc its my fav aesthetic and there is not enough content about it

Outfits

most people say that chaotic academia is just dark academia but a little bit more messy, and, well, chaotic. the truth is, chaotic academia is A LOT more messy than dark academia. you can still use dark academia as kind of a "base", but you are going to replace your blazers with flannels, your turtlenecks with tshirts. as for pants, you can go with litteraly anything: cigarette pants, tailored trousers, ripped-up jeans or normal black leggings. i personally really ike ripped up overalls bc they give that "i dont really give a damn, im so misunderstood, my parents didnt love me, im a crazy lonely introverted teenage child" vibe...idk. whatever you wear, make sure you feel comfortable in it! even tho in chaotic academia there are almost no rules at all, here are some things that might help you!

colours: any earthy tones are fine, brown, caramel, dark green, dark red, white, etc etc

fictional characters that might inspire you:

-remus lupin

- any dpc character

- jess mariano

- sydney novak

accesories: flannels (a personal fav + they make even the most boring fit look better), cardigans, converse (bonus points if you draw/write on them or if you have them laced in a weird way), bracelets or necklaces that mean something to you, harry potter back packs, tote bags...

hairstyles: whatever you want, just make sure your hair is ALWAYS messy, looking like you just fucking woke up

Activities and Traits

ok now we're getting to the actually important part bc (repeat after me): chaotic academia is not about how you look, its about how you live and how you act. so here r some thing that might help:

- annotating books with the most unhinged random thoughts

- learning poetry or speeches word for word but not remembering most of the things for school

- studying in the (school) library and being besties with the librarian (optional)

- leaving notes (on trees, mailboxes or library books) for strangers to find

- "studying while listening to classical music" and then instead of studying you end up agressivly mouthing your favorite song

- im sure yall already heard this one, but yes, swearing and slag while discussing deep academic topics is incredibly important

- speaking of important topics: posting something important on social media knowing no one will read it

- doodles on your hands 24/7 (NO SUSAN, I DONT GIVE A DAMN THAT ITS BAD FOR MY SKIN)

- sarcasm. a lot.

- random thoughts

- random quotes

- knowing a ton of conspiracy theories that you dont even beileve in by heart

- listening to all different types of podcasts

- one day reading the classics, the next ya fantasy and day after that ao3 smut

- multifandom, multishipper

- tea/coffee addiction

- adding b.c. to todays date when writing it in school

- random thoughts and the weirdest annotations in your school notebooks, especially the classes that you find boring

- "going to the bathroom" and then spending half of your math class drawing/reading/smoking/crying/thinking/whatever the fuck you wanna do there bc ur tired of everything

- stealing random stuff from stores (tho it is not encouraged blah blah blah)

- watching gilmore girls every fall

- telling people ur favorite colour is green even tho it isnt just to let them know that ur gay

- reading in class, on breaks, at home, parks, meetings, aethletic events, and generally all the fucking time

- doing (mostly) everything last minute

- bad at photography, but you enjoy it

- cold tea my beloved

- wearing one item every day: it can either be a necklace, a flannel, a bracelet, a badge, headphones, earrings etc etc

- extremely messy handwriting, always writing with black pen

- crying at least once a day, but only when ur alone, being super emotional but never showing it

- hobbies include reading, screaming in your pillow, learning unique languages that you will probably never use, rewatching dead poets society, harry potter, enola holmes, end of the fucking world and gilmore girls

- massive bookworm, reads all the time, always has a book with them

- skipping class, not that often tho

- 💫anger issues💫

- hyperactive and lazy at the same time

- uses big words but makes fun of other people when they do it

- writes (rebellious) book quotes everywhere, every single one of their notebooks had IF WE BURN, YOU BURN WITH US written in them lol

- random useless powerpoints

- analysing taylor swift's folklore and evermore instead of sheakspeare because its just better

- retired almost-emo, had a phase when they wore black and acted all mysterious but were never really emo i cant explain it

- likes mcr. this one speaks for itself.

- gay and sad. no explanation needed.

Books, Movies and Music

Books:

- Harry Potter by you know who (WE DONT SUPPORT HER THO)

- The Secret History by Donna Tartt

- Night School by CJ Daugherty (is that how u spell it lol)

- The Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

- Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo

- Heartstopper by Alice Oseman

- Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen

- Emma by Jane Austen

- Hamlet by Do I Really Need To Say Who

- The Perks Of Being A Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky

- The Picture of Dorain Gray by Oscar Wilde

- Frankenstein by Marry Shelley

Movies/TV Shows

- end of the fucking world

- heartstopper

- harry potter

- enola holmes

- dead poets society

- gilmore girls

- httyd (no kidding lol)

im not really a film girlie so if yall have any recs please lmk

Music:

- Mother Mother

- Taylor Swift (obviously)

- Lana Del Slay

- Conan Gray

- Olivia Rodrigo

- My Chemical Romance

- Lovejoy

- Bowie

- Queen

- Radiohead

- Björk

- Those random Disney songs i know you scream to at 3am

also whoever sings the IMJUSTATEENAGEDIRTBAGBAABBYY song

here is my playlist if yall wanna listen to it

hope that helps lol

[thisaccisdead]

“Half Full” - Moceit Fic

Content/warnings: referenced past manipulation, alcohol, a lot of discussion of things the sides have done wrong, but none of them are intended as unsympathetic. they have done some b a d stuff but they’re learning and we love them all yknow?? (namely warnings for virgil being overprotective/lashing out, and me being on my bullshit anti-roceit agenda)

Notes: You all know I’m not a writer, but I had a thought about a?? Characterization for Janus?? Which as I reread this is kind of very OOC, but idk I just thought it was neat, and I do go crazy for moceit hurt/comfort.

Finding the moral side crying in the middle of the night was, all things considered, not too surprising. After all, Janus knew every time Patton lied about his happiness. However, he had suspected to find him with loud, messy sobs. With a tin of cookies almost finished. Not with a bottle of wine and a blank, tear-tracked face.

He didn’t even seem to notice Janus’ entrance until he cleared his throat.

“Oh,” Patton uttered, gaze flicking to the other side. His face didn’t gain any clarity of expression. He just started putting away the wine and finished off his glass, making moves to leave. “Sorry.”

Janus took a moment to hide his shock at the scene, and at Patton’s reaction to him. (What, had he thought the moral side would come running into his arms for comfort? He was being ridiculous.)

“Give that here, you imbecile,” Janus said, taking the bottle from Patton’s hands and pouring himself a glass. There was no bite behind his words, at least not in a meaningful way. He’d lost his edge. “So, you’re just up for fun, I assume?”

“Hm,” Patton failed to respond. “Are you going to stay up?”

“I’m sure I’ll be back to bed in a moment.”

“That sounds like a lie.”

“How out-of-character that would be for me,” Janus smiled.

Patton half-smiled back. “You wanna watch something?”

“What do you have in mind?”

“A documentary on Greek philosophers.”

Janus frowned at the dry film Patton pulled up. “You think you’ll enjoy this?”

“I think it’ll be boring as fuck,” he said, casually. Janus turned to him in mild shock, while he simply yawned. “But Logan wanted me to watch it. Maybe it’ll be more interesting with you.”

Janus nodded, careful to hide his smile behind his glass.

•••

The movie was, as Patton had so eloquently predicted, boring as fuck. Also, quite hazy by the end, due to all the wine. They had been quiet near the beginning, but by the end they were talking over everything in hushed whispers and even a laugh from Patton, every so often.

The next day, when Janus walked in on breakfast, he swore Patton’s smile changed. From a brittle, stiff form--forced in the tense atmosphere--to something more relaxed. Relieved.

“Oh, hiya, Janus! There’s a seat here if you wanna stay,” Patton patted the chair beside him.

Janus stayed.

•••

“...Janus is right.”

“Of course,” Virgil scoffed.

It was the first whole group discussion they’d had since the… wedding fiasco. And while Virgil didn’t seem surprised by Patton’s words, Janus most certainly was.

“Obviously, I am. I knew you would agree, Patton,” Janus lied.

Patton was too preoccupied to do anymore than hum at Janus’ statement, all concerned glances over at Roman. Ugh, Roman. Still all mopey after the last video, he was currently staring determinedly at the floor. Him and Patton should have let all of that go by now--the past was the past. Hadn’t they learnt about moving on?

“Are you sure, Patton?” Thomas asked. “I’ve always gone to this event before. And, I’ve always made it through--”

Patton shook his head. “You know there will be family members there who don’t respect you. And who choose not to learn. I know I’ve always been the one to say they deserve your love anyway, but… I don’t know if they do.”

All of the sides stood in shock for a moment. Janus schooled away a proud look. 

Logan was the first to speak, slowly nodding. “...Yes, well, Patton does bring up an interesting point. Thomas, you tend to give people the ‘benefit-of-the-doubt’, which can be a good thing, and has led to you improving relationships in the past. However, if the other people are actively refusing to learn, no progress can ever be made. And so the effort would be for naught.”

In no time flat, Thomas was coming to his big realization about not owing certain people certain things, yada yada yada, doing the outro, yada yada yada. Janus was about to sink out, with that new, odd, and decidedly wonderful vindication that he was right, when--

“Deceit, wait.”

Janus sighed, audibly, and made sure to put on his most sardonic smile. “Yes, Virgil?”

“What exactly do you think you’re doing?”

“You’ll have to be a little more specific, dear.”

“Don’t--” Virgil grit his teeth and huffed out a breath. “With Patton, I mean.”

“Hm. Really, Virgil, I wish I knew what you were referring to, but--”

“Oh, cut the bullshit!” He finally snapped. “I don’t know what you’ve been playing at with him, if you think you really like him, but you’re just gonna do to him what you did to Roman.” 

Janus cringed at that, though he tried not to. Virgil knew just how to get to him. “Well. Thank you for this conversation, Virgil. I’ll be considering it deeply,” he said sarcastically, before sinking out. Though, it wasn’t as much of a lie as he would have liked.

•••

“Janus? What are you doing?”

Patton had found him pacing around the living room. And he hadn’t even had enough time to mask his aggravated expression when the moral side entered.

“Dishes,” he replied sourly.

“Right,” Patton said. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.”

“I’ve used that one enough to see through it.” He joked, smiling bittersweetly. It was such a sincere look he was giving, so ready to comfort. Janus wasn’t used to it. Whether the ‘it’ was sincerity or comfort he couldn’t say.

“It’s just--I don’t see why I should have to apologize to him,” Janus spat out.

Patton came over to the couch, motioning for Janus to join him. He did.

“Virgil?” Patton asked. Janus looked away. “...Ah. Roman.”

“He shouldn't have laughed at my name!”

“Yes,” Patton nodded slowly. “We've all done things we shouldn’t’ve.”

“...Are you implying something?”

Patton raised a brow. “Calling two sides evil for the price of one?”

“Oh, please,” Janus scoffed. “You’ve always thought Remus was evil.”

“...Yes. And I’m learning why that’s wrong,” he admitted.

That gave Janus a pause, but he quickly disregarded his surprise. “Well, I already reminded you, Roman started it.”

“No, he didn’t.” Patton looked away. He took a deep breath in, silent for a beat too long. “...I did. A long time ago.”

Janus narrowed his eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I told him he was dishonorable to side with you. That treating you as more than a villain was evil.” Each word sounded like it pained him. Each a confession, although Janus had been witness to all of it. “It’s all always been my fault.” Tears silently began to fall down his cheeks. He blinked, as if to somehow subtly dispel them, but they only fell harder. 

And, oh.

Oh no.

Janus really didn’t want to do this next part.

It would be so easy to let Patton believe that. He could even comfort the side, tell him he was forgiven, help him through--all without revealing anything. 

Save himself. It was what he was built for.

“Patton… it wasn’t all your fault, per say.” Patton glanced up at him, confused, and it was his turn to look away. “I quite blatantly flattered Roman. I manipulated him, used him--whatever you want to call it. All because I wanted his favor in... that case.”

“Well, I already knew--”

“Except, it wasn’t just that case,” Janus rushed out before he could lose his nerve. “It started when I first revealed myself to Thomas, remember? Really, I just wanted to test the waters, at first. See what I could get away with, and who I could get away with it with.”

Patton had a blank look as he sorted through his memory. “ ‘Love the outfit, Roman,’” he finally quoted.

“...Indeed,” Janus sighed. “It became clear that Roman would be the easiest to get to. Which makes sense from his need-of-praise mixed with lack-of-praise. And he is the romantic side. And I just knew, one day it would be useful if he was…somewhat biased, so if…”

“If you and him were a little… friendly?” Patton finished, sadly. Disappointedly. 

Janus nodded. Then, quickly, he rushed to add, “I mean, nothing that bad! I didn’t kiss him. We were never dating. I just may have implied--”

Patton’s face changed from disappointed, then. To something else. Something worse.“Right. No. Of course,” Patton said. “Not that bad at all.”

That lie from Patton’s tongue ached in Janus’s chest for the rest of the day.

***

Remus wasn’t in their side of the mindscape when Janus returned to it. Which he didn’t make too much of, sulking around and rewatching Good Place episodes, until Remus skipped in covered in… blood? No. Much more unusual--red paint.

“What have you been up to then, hm?” Janus asked, as polite as he was disinterested.

“Painting with Pat! Drawing with Daddy! Look!” He shoved a messy, still drying canvas in Janus’s arms. It was a finger painting of mutilated arm, rather tame for him, but perhaps that was because he made it with--

“Patton?”

“That’s what I said! Geez, who stole your ears? Oh, wait, was it me? That sounds like me. But, of course, it doesn’t sound like anything to you!” He cackled.

“I still have my ears, you gremlin,” he hissed. “But you’re right, there’s nothing for me to be surprised about, since you and Patton are on such great terms.”

“Exactly!” Remus confirmed. “Wow, you heard about it quick, JJ! It was just this afternoon, he came up with those pouty puppy eyes, gushing apologies, asking me to be his wittle fwiend~” he batted his eyelashes mockingly. Heat rose in Janus’s chest at that, and he almost lept to defend Patton, embarrassingly, but luckily Remus continued before he could. 

“Which, was kinda stupid; guy made it sound like he had committed war crimes against me or some shit. Like, yeah, dude was a dick to me; I was a dick to him. That was meant to be our whole dynamic! Now whenever I scare him--what?--I’ll feel guilty, who wants that?! I liked being enemies. But maybe I’ll like being friends more.” He shrugged. “Time will tell, right? That’s a great idea, actually. I’m gonna go make some clocks that just scream every hour. Oo, or every minute! Yeah, that. Seeya, Janny Fanny!”

Janus gaped, left uncomprehending, while Remus sped off.

He tried to imagine it--Remus. With Patton. Chatting, smiling, joking. Remus would, of course, be able to bring much more reckless fun to the father figure than he might otherwise go for. Patton might enjoy some of Remus’s more childish humor. In an odd, backwards way they made a sort of sense.

The image made Janus’s blood boil. He should have been pleased for them. He knew that, but it didn’t help. And--what? Had Janus thought he was special? Fancied himself the singular, blessed demon chosen by an angel? Patton’s new bestest buddy?

No. He should’ve known that was never on the table. As it turned out, Patton was simply being polite to everyone now. That didn’t mean Janus had changed in his mind. It didn’t mean Janus had changed at all.

He was a villain. He had been going about this all wrong, trying to be more than he was made for. He needed to remember that.

***

“How the tables table, huh?”

“That is how the phrase goes,” Janus remarked dryly as Patton took a seat by him. Janus offered him the wine bottle, but he put a hand up and shook his head. 

“Well, at least I’m not crying,” Janus sneered. 

“No, wouldn’t want to ruin your dignity like me, right?” Patton half-joked. Half-joke, half-smile, half-truth. Nothing Patton did went full way. “Wanna talk about it?”

Janus scoffed, and went back to nursing his drink.

“Right,” Patton frowned. “Listen--Janus, I wanted to apologize. ...Again,” he added, with a half-laugh. Half-laugh, half-hurt. Whatever. “I shouldn’t have gotten so judgmental earlier. Morality and judgement tend to go hand in hand, even when they shouldn’t. And I got defensive on Roman’s behalf too,” he admitted. Janus grit his teeth, glaring at the wooden counter. Defensive over Roman. Friends with Remus. “Look--I’ve done bad stuff too. I had no place to judge you now, when it’s clear you have now learned.”

Janus laughed, suddenly, bitterly, at that. “Oh, have I, now?” 

Patton blinked, tilting his head. “...Yes?”

Janus rolled his eyes, and downed the end of his glass. “Listen, Morality, I’m not like you. I don’t need to go on some learning spree, down the path of beautiful ethics and self-improvement. I’m not meant to be a little, lovely side. Maybe learning my name made you forget; I’m Deceit.You heard Thomas yourself--I’m a flaw. So, I don’t do guilt. I don’t plan on too much learning. And I definitely won’t be spewing out apologies, like some sides I know,” he bit out each word. He wanted to make Patton leave. Maybe cry. Make him realize what Janus really was. But he just sat there with that stupid, sincere, concerned gaze.

“I’m not built for it!” Janus continued, growing more frantic at the lack of reaction. “...I can’t.”

Janus shoved his hand to his mouth in an attempt to cover the first sob, but it was too late. Soon his shoulders were shaking, his head in his hands, breaths unsteady. There were warm arms around his back, pulling him against a cardigan-clad chest, soothing whispers in his ears. He realized his hat had been taken off as he felt fingers run through his hair. 

“Janus,” Patton began softly, moving back slightly so that Janus could meet his eyes. “That sounded like a lot of lies to me.”

Janus shook his head firmly, fumbling to pull his gloves off and put his hands up. “Patton, I swear, that is the truth!”

Patton looked at him for a long moment. Then, he reached his hands out, and slowly took Janus’s. Janus let him. “You can lie to yourself, you know,” he said softly.

Janus’s eyes burned, and he had to force himself not to spill over the edge again. He was hyper-aware of their contact, now. The warmth of Patton’s skin against his was intoxicating.

Patton looked down at their hands too. He squeezed them lightly, a 3 beat pattern. “They’re so cold,” he frowned.

“Are they, now?” Janus aimed for sarcastic, but it came out unsteady. 

“Mhm.”

They were quiet for a long time. Unmoving. As if a word, a breath, could break them apart. 

“I’ll apologize,” Janus said finally.

“To Roman?”

“...Yes,” Janus agreed. “And to you.”

“What for?”

Janus looked down at their intertwined hands, waited for Patton to follow his gaze. “The things I want.”

“Oh,” Patton breathed. He rubbed his thumb along the back of Janus’s hand. “I… don’t think the things we want are so different anymore.”

“Hm.” Janus let go of Patton’s grip, just for a moment, in order to pull the other closer. Patton melted in his grip immediately, head laying on his shoulder. Janus returned the embrace. “Maybe not.”

[futurewriter2000]

Three Words - pt. 1

A/N: I love this so much and idk why but it hits differently.

XX

Healing. You were healing as you kept stroking the long trunk of the elephant. You caressed its dry skin as he kept nuzzling it closer to you, tapping you gently on the cheeks and causing your hat to fall off. 

You laughed as you tapped his trunk and picked the hat, coming closer to him brushing your hand against his large leg. “You and me had quite the adventures, didn’t we?” you told the elephant as he let out a small sound. You hugged him with your arms that were too small to hug him whole and laid your head on it. 

“You can’t take him with you.” you heard her laugh but you only hugged him tighter. 

“Of course, I can. I’m a witch.” you continued to lay your head on him.

“And where will you put him? Backyard?” she came to his trunk as well and started to pet him. 

“Newt Scamander had his beasts in a suitcase.” you pulled away as she furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Newt who?”

“Nevermind.” you brushed your hand and walked to her, letting your arm wrap around her waist and your head lean on her shoulder. “You think he’ll be okay without us?” 

“Who? Roman?” she tapped his trunk and smiled. “He’ll be fine. It’s you I think that I think won’t be okay without him.” 

“I dealt with Remus and his act a long time ago. All I want is to stay here forever.” 

She moved from your hold and turned around, letting her hand be wrapped around your waist for now, leading you away from the elephant and walking towards home where you had plenty of unpacked bags to finish. 

“We can come back but we were away from home too long. We need to go back to our lives.” 

“Correction. You want to go back to your life. I think this is my life.”

“Taking care of animals?” she asked. “For the rest of your life?”

“They’re the only beings that make the world so innocent-” you said but she cut you off, taking you by the shoulders and looking deep into your eyes. 

“Then stay.” 

“What? I though-”

“I know what I said but if this is what you want, then stay. You’re clearly made for it.”

“I don’t know. I need to go home and figure everything out. I want to be sure that this wasn’t just a getaway- or I don’t know.” you sighed, lowering your head as she wrapped her arms around you and squeezed you. She then let go of you, leaving without a word, only a comforting look in her eyes. 

You were left alone to stand at the chilly road, looking around- looking at the tall green grass, something you could never see back home. The sight of animals that could only survive here, in the nature and not in the industrial city.

It felt like you could breathe here. Genuenly breathe and think clearly. You could think about Remus- his eyes. His dark green eyes, just like the jungle in front of you. You could remember all the gestures, the memories you had with him. Everything. Since the moment you first saw him, to the moment you first talked to him, had a long conversation, first kiss, first time, his proposal, his... his cowardly act- 

You sighed, plopping back down on the grass, your feet digging into the sand in front of you, as well as your bare hands, taking a few marbles, a few larger rocks inbetween your fingers. 

Until you could hear the footsteps that came towards you. At first you thought it was someone you knew here but when you looked up, you couldn’t recognise anybody looking like that.

It was familiar. The walk, the lean posture, the figure and it crossed your mind once or twice but why would he be here- he wouldn’t, would he?

“(y/n)?” he said as he continued to approach you, narrowing his eyes through the darkness. 

“Sirius?!” you exclaimed in shock, trying to get your thoughts in order as you stood up.

“I knew the hat was decieving me- it really is you!” He beamed, opening his arms and wrapping them around you. 

Surprised by his appereance you didn’t know what to do but wrap your arms around him as well. You haven’t seen him in a year and now he just appears out of the blue, at the same place as you. From all the places in the world, he finds you here. 

“What are you doing here?” you asked as you pulled away.

“Look at you!” he put his hands on your cheeks as his eyes scanned your whole body. “You’ve got sunburns everywhere!” He laughed, than looked closely at your nose. “It’s actually cute- it’s like a long strip over your nose- oh and your chin as well.”

“Har- har.” you laughed, punching him away slightly. “Sirius, what are you doing here?” you asked again.

“Following a lead.” he replied. “Just an Aurors job- James is usually with me but he’s taking care of Harry and all.”

“Harry?” you said perplexed, your eyebrows drawing together.

“His son.” he wiggled his eyebrows. “Parental leave and all.” 

“He’s got a son’?!” you exclaimed again, feeling your hand slap your mouth. “Oh my God! I’m so happy for him.”

“Yeah- since the whole wedding thing it was like you fell from the Earth.” he looked around, grinning. “Looks like you sort of did.” 

“Yeah. I needed to get away- get distracted.” you sat back down as he joined you.

“Are you alright?”

“Now? I’m better than I was in a year. I’m finally starting to feel like myself again, you know?” you looked at him as he continued to watch. 

“I’m glad to hear that.” was all that he said, wanting to say more which you realized immediately because Sirius Black could never be quiet for long, nor reply in such short sentances. 

“And Remus?” you asked. “How’s he doing?” 

“You really want to know?”

“You were always the one I could count on to tell me the truth. So just rip the bandage off. He has found someone, probably lives with her-”

“Umm...no.” he forced a smile and looked away. “He lives by himself, struggling to find a job and just regretting what he did.” he continued, looking back at you. “I don’t think he can live without you.” 

Shocked by his words, you turned your head away completely speechless. 

“He tried calling you, going to your place, your parents but nobody told him where you were. They said you didn’t want anybody to know.” he took a hold of your hand and brought it to himself. 

You looked at him with tears in your eyes, unaware of how it still hurt. “He left me, Sirius.” your voice shivered. “He just left me with no explenation.” 

“I know.” he brought you close to him, letting you lay on his chest as his arms wrapped around you. “I did beat the crap out of him. Went all kung fu, you know?” he started to joke and you laughed, making him smile as he heard your laugh. “I don’t know what he was thinking leaving you- you looked gorgeous in that dress.” 

You looked up into his eyes, swallowing the tears that tried to come out and smiling at him. “Well, you did help me pick it.” 

He continued to stare into your eyes so lovingly, almsot letting you know that his thoughts were a bit more dangerous right now because Merlin had he missed you. You were his best friend beside the other three and he had such fond memories of you- always. The boys were amazing all the time with him but it was you that just gave this incredible woman’s touch and perspective to his life that really mattered. 

He shook his head, chuckling and trying to get rid of any further thoughts. “I know. My taste is impeccible.” 

“It really is.” you followed his gaze into the forest. “So how did you find me?”

“I was just passing by, looking at the elephant herd at the distance when I saw a girl hugging one of them. She looked vaguely familiar with her walk and body movement.” he looked at you, his eyes traveling down your outfit. “She reminded me of you so much and I wanted to walk away because the chance of you being here was 1 to million but it was like an insitinct inside of me telling that I should be sure. So I followed you and found you- the hat is horrible by the way.” he pointed out in the end.

“Leave my hat out of this. “ you chortled and shoved his shoulder. 

“I like your hair- I never saw you with short hair.”

“It’s really hot here and just dealing with hair every day and sweating- I just wanted to chop it.” 

“So are you ever coming back?” he asked, changing the subject.

You looked at the distance again, taking some breath in as you remembered how much you could have missed in one year. James had a baby, Sirius grew a beard and Remus- well, he’s going through some troubles but until you talk to him and resolve what you’ve been avoiding for so long, you won’t be able to move on.

“Yes.” was all that you said, making Sirius smile. “I need to talk to Remus. One talk to find some closure and finally end that chapter of my life.” you finished with a stern look in your eyes as Sirius smile faded.

“So, no second chances?” he asked and you shot his head to him, disbelieving the question he just asked you.

“No. He left me at the altar, saying he’s sorry- like all those years didn’t mean anything to him. I took a year to move on from him. Hell, I’ve gone through more shitty nights crying into my pillow and asking myself what the hell is wrong with me for him to leave. I thought the worst of myself, thinking was I not enough? Talking down on myself, trying to find any reason of why he wouldn’t want to marry me up until I finally realized my worth and see that I was never the guilty one. He was and believe it or not, I am sad that he didn’t move on but at the same time I’m so happy that he knows what he had lost.” you stood up and pattend the dust of your clothes. “It was nice seeing you, Sirius but I need to pack. I’ll see you back home- I guess.” 

[hey-kids-want-some-avengers]

1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26,27,28,29,30,31,32,33,34,35,36,37,38,39,40,41,42,43,44,45,46,47,48,49,50,51,52,53,54,55,56,57,58,59,60,61,62,63,64,65,66,67,68,69,70,71,72,73,74,75,76,77,78,79,80,81,82,83,84,85,86,87,88,89,90,91,92,93,94,95,96,97,98,99,100 (lol, I'm sorry)

Holy mother of- alright, I did this to myself. Answers are below the cut!

1: when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? More cereal! I’m hella lactose intolerant so I rarely even have milk.

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? Sometimes, it depends if I was already too cold or not.

3: what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? Usually I use drawings or a bit of cardboard.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea? I take my tea with a little honey and my coffee with lots of flavored creamer.

5: are you self-conscious of your smile? VERY MUCH YES

6: do you keep plants? Cacti mostly:)

7: do you name your plants? YEP

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? Pencil or acrylic, though I’m digging clay now.

9: do you like singing/humming to yourself? I spend almost every hour of every day singing, it’s one of my absolute favorite things!

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? back or side depending on how my jaw is doing.

11: what's an inner joke you have with your friends? OH GoD, so many...

12: what's your favorite planet? Mars >3

13: what's something that made you smile today? I got to spend all day with my pupper AND I got called for an interview tomorrow.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? Brick walls, lots of floor space for art, ect. a window seat, high ceilings and a cozy atmosphere please and thank you.

15: go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! 99% of our solar systems mass is the sun. :3

16: what's your favorite pasta dish? Baked Penne!

17: what color do you really want to dye your hair? It’s already blue but I wanna do it red, orange and yellow at some point for a crazy fire look.

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. The time I jumped off the lid to my friends hot tub and hit my head, knocking myself unconscious and almost dying.

19: do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? Kinda, it’s mostly art and random facts??

20: what's your favorite eye color? Blue

21: talk about your favorite bag, the one that's been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. My art bag that looks like a freaking paint towel at this point.

22: are you a morning person? Ye!

23: what's your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? Write, draw, take a bath and bake.

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? Yes, my bestfren Chloe -w-

25: what's the weirdest place you've ever broken into? An abandoned house down the block while chasing a cat. There was some guy sleeping in there.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit? My red Converse!

27: what's your favorite bubblegum flavor? Wintergreen

28: sunrise or sunset? Sunset, for sure.

29: what's something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? She blushes in her ears and gets really shy around guys.

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared? Umm, yes. When my mom had emergency surgery.

31: what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. OKAY, I LIKE SOCKS, I WEAR EM ALL THE TIME AND THEY NEVER MATCH. BOOM.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. I went to down my iced tea and found out too late that it was my dads whiskey and I got drunk off my ass.

33: what's your fave pastry? oooh, I love pastries with all my heart, probably lemon bars.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? It’s in my room somewhere, a little weasel puppet named “wonder weasel” and I made him a mask.

35: do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? Yes, I keep at least one on me at all times.

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now? Panic!

37: do you like keeping your room messy or clean? I reaaaaally like it clean but it never happens. I’m a pig.

38: tell us about your pet peeves! I hate when people never show up on time, ignore me when I’m talking to check their phones and I hate when people pretend to like me.

39: what color do you wear the most? Black

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you? It’s a bumble bee necklace my sister got me and I love it.

41: what's the last book you remember really, really loving? The book thief.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! It’s a local place here and they make really pretty pastries and coffee, it’s very modern inside but it’s cozy and everyone’s super nice. It smells like autumn leaves and spices.

43: who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? myself???

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? Last week in a bath tbh

45: do you trust your instincts a lot? Yes and no? It kinda depends but I usually second guess myself.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of. I changed my ipods name to titanic. It’s syncing now. (I hate myself)

47: what food do you think should be banned from the universe? LETTUCE

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? Burning alive, and it kinda is kinda isn’t still.

49: do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? I like to but I never have money, the last one was a panic! at the disco cd.

50: what's an odd thing you collect? Fish????? I have five tanks in my room ok????

51: think of a person. what song do you associate with them? Can’t help falling in love with you and phantom of the opera (my gf) IM CHEESEY

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far? THEY ALL SUCK

53: have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? I’ve seen all but pulp fiction and I adore them all, beetlejuice is one of my favorite movies.

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? Besides myself idk

55: what's the most dramatic thing you've ever done to prove a point? I don’t even know honestly.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people? Their sense of humor, laugh and comfortableness.

57: go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? Doesn’t it always?!

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? My friend hates wine but is totally the wine mom, sooo that makes me the vodka aunt bc I only have one friend.

59: what's your favorite myth? Icarus

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? YES! I love the raven, tyger and the tell tale heart??

61: what's the stupidest gift you've ever given? the stupidest one you've ever received? Socks for received I guess? Probably the dumbest thing I’ve given was a dirty shirt to my friend????

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? Almost always, grape or orange usually. 

63: are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? I’m really particular about them and I don’t let anyone touch em.

64: what color is the sky where you are right now? Ink black.

65: is there anyone you haven't seen in a long time who you'd love to hang out with? My gf..; ;

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like? Seashells, blue flowers and tiny pink ones, probably a lil glitter.

67: how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? They feel relaxing to me.

68: what's winter like where you live? ITS LIKE A NEVER ENDING HELLL

69: what are your favorite board games? Fury of Dracula, d&d, ect.

70: have you ever used a ouija board? Yep! I own one.

71: what's your favorite kind of tea? cranberry??

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it? YES. My ADHD is scary bad ok.

73: what are some of your worst habits? Not eating healthily/not drinking enough, secluding myself.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. Humorous, kind and caring and wonderful and supporting. The most fantastic person to live.

75: tell us about your pets! OK!!!!!! I have three cats, a tabby (ponyo), a massive grey one(rory) and a smol floofy white and black one(lydia). I have four betta fish, Lafayette, Remus, Pietro, and Marvel. I have 12 guppy/platty and I could list their names but I wontttt, and my sweet pupper girl, Matilda

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't? Writing requests..............

77: pink or yellow lemonade? Pink.

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? HATE

79: what's one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? My girlfriend sent me chocolates and my fren bought me a bee pillow, they’re pretty great.

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? Light purple and I didn’t choose them, my mom painted that room before she got sick so I kept it.

81: describe one of your friend's eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. Deep sand washing over dark beaches and charcoal mixed in a vat of dark clay.

82: are/were you good in school? No, not really. I listened tho

83: what's some of your favorite album art? Pretty odd, believers never die, infinity on high

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? I have two right now and I have MANY more planned.

85: do you read comics? what are your faves? OF COURSE, CAPTAIN AMERICA AND DEADPOOL, SANDMAN EVEN THO THAT DON’T REALLY COUNT.

86: do you like concept albums? which ones? um? Nirvana? Am I doing this right?

87: what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? Perks of being a wall flower, three idiots.

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? All of them??

89: are you close to your parents? I like to think so

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities. Ohhh um, I dunno, probably Denver?? I’m really isolated.

91: where do you plan on traveling this year? I’m going to Denver for a concert and a huge road trip to California this summer to see my family.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? It GoN DRoWN SOn

93: what's the hairstyle you wear the most? Down. It’s too short for anything.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday? My grandpa

95: what are your plans for this weekend? Hanging with my fren and watching shameless.

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? Sadly, I put them off until it does it automatically. I regret it every time.

97: myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? Advocate, Taurus, hufflepuff! 

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? Yesterday and I loved it.

99: list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. Hamilton tbh, think of me, riptide and I found.

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? Five years into the past because I’m not fucking ready to grow up.