#can you tell i dont know how to design knight helmets

[dovewingkinnie]

some ocs based on the last post i did

[nezumasa]

And on the flipside, 'sexy' or "less realistic' design isnt an auto fail

[tillman]

hi i ranked every single dark souls 1 character by who i think is the most kissable . its 79 characters all with a description of why theyre at the place theyre at with images for reference :-) its all under cut for u to enjoy.. thank u

this is all my opinion cus hehe im making the list but also im god so this is fact now . 

counting down because u know what ! buildup is fun and i have to start off with everyones most favorite:

GWYN - 79

im kidding. fuck gwyn and everything he stands for. he wouldnt even be a good kisser he doesnt have FUCKING LIPS

SEATH - 78

oh you really wanna kiss the incel dragon who kidnaps ladies for his weird experiements?? yeah?? who are you, big hat logan?

EINGYI - 77

heres one i wont get hate for: this fucking asshole . die bastard . he cant even kiss his face is all infected and gross!

KAATHE - 76

he sucks.

SMOUGH - 75

not only is he too big to kiss! hes a cannibal!! hed eat you!!!! thats no kiss i want!

MANUS - 74

listen i know yall love daddies and all that but hes manipulative and not a nice person so id watch out. i GUESS hes kissable as he was a human before but def not a good kiss

BED OF CHAOS - 73

its just some vines that sometimes set on fire!! If it were still the witch of izalith she would be probally in the 20s as shes a good person who tried very hard to help the world but in this state... u cant even kiss her!

FRAMPT - 72

better than kaathe but the whole no lips and being a manipulative snake monster really throws me off and shoves him down at the bottom

FINA (GODDESS OF LOVE/BEAUTY (?)) - 71

(mentioned character - no image sorry :-( )

Listen as much as im all for love, this is love u dont want ! just trust me dont be lautrec dont do it you dont want to kiss fina listen to me. please dont kiss fina.

VINCE AND NICO - 70

way of the white members are NOTABLY unkissable but these guys. are just so boring. theyll be your white bread boyfriend as neil would say... bad kissers and bad people!

LAUTREC - 69 

aw fuck wait can i make another character 69 he doesnt deserve it. anyways not only is he not over his ex (fina) hed probally gut you and steal your lunch money half way through the kiss anyways so whats the point . thats not how u treat a lover idiot

CENTIPEDE DEMON - 68

it eats your face and you die. next pleaaase

PETRUS - 67

another way of the white cleric. he at least starts off nice and he says fuck rich people but also he let that happen to rhea and i fucking hate his guts so no.

PALADIN LEEROY - 66 

out of all the way of the white idiots hes the best in that he wears armor and seems cool but its the way of the white man.  i cant get past that. sorry leeroy at least your armor is cool. he probably hasnt kissed someone in hundreds of years anyways 

MOONLIGHT BUTTERFLY - 65

delicate ... but beautiful! i dunno how to smooch it but i def would if i could ! i dont think it can kiss back but, o well! we all have flaws

IRON GOLEM - 64

it cant kiss back but its COOL and can throw me like a javelin so like . yeehaw id smooch its little face place 

UNDEAD MERCHANTS (BOTH) - 63

between moss and yulia i think they got enough on their plates! plus since theyre so hollowed, i dont think they have any lips to kiss back with! 

INGWARD - 62

hes not like . bad persay but also i dont trust him after he helped with new londo. cool design tho. i wanna kiss that bird beak mask

JEREMIAH - 61

was a bullfrog, and never took off his crown long enough to kiss another person...... i feel like if he did though! oh boy!!!

Asylum Demon + Demon Firesage + Stray Demon - 60

more kissable than some bosses, but still not the greatest lips. good butts though on all of them.... so i guess thats fr u kinky people 

SNUGGLY THE CROW - 59

(no image shes a crow) 

please stop drawing her as an anime girl shes literally just a grow that likes warm things oh my god you freaks be nice to her

BIG HAT LOGAN - 58

hes hard to kiss around the hat! and on that note hes pretty much taken with his obsession with seath. good luck! hes nice though so better than most of this list so far

GAPING DRAGON - 57

ranked so high because past its giant underbelly of teeth and destruction is this very tiny head which i think is so funny i cant help but want to kiss its little snoot.... hehe baby

PRINCE RICARD - 56

oh now were actually getting into kissable range! ricard is a prince (maybe even of astora... kissability increase.) so his high ranking might get you some kissability points, but the hollowing is gonna lower that. 4/10 no kissable lips!

4 KINGS - 55

whats better than a prince..... a king... whats better than a king..................  4 KINGS! just watch out for their overly anime spiky armor and the fact their in a never ending void nightmare but they do have faces so thats points above the rest!

SALAMAN - 54

(mentioned character only! sorry!)

hmmmm we dont learn much about him other than he was close with quelana and he was ............ hot!  hes a pyromancer.  being of the great swamp pushes him down a bit because he prolly smells like his name sake but u know what ! maybe hes cute! we cant be sure! hes in the running at least!

TAURUS DEMON - 53

hmm... bad lover.... good kisser................................................... the things i do for big beefy demon love.

GOUGH - 52

While you cant kiss gough cus all the sap in his helmet i cant bare to put him lower than he is hes just so sweet. a kiss on his helmet because i love him so much

NITO - 51

while he cant kiss back, nito deserves a kiss or two! plus he has a lot of hands so u can hold his hands and be hugged at the same time and u know what that might be just as good as a nice kiss. good on you nito!

STONE DRAGON - 50

again a non kisser........ damn beaks! the stone dragon does need a kiss though. they havent seen another living soul in years down in ash lake! so im giving them points on that alone.

VAMOS - 49

like the last two.... no lips! vamos though makes up for it in his charm and wit, and his exceptional skill in smithing! so even without lips to kiss, you still should kiss vamos! hes a good friend

ARIAMIS - 48

(mentioned !)

wow... a painter! and a skilled one at that! this man created the painted world used to keep priscilla safe and that is so noble it gives him points right off the bat! i feel like though, as an artist, he might be a bit weird about it. so watch out and be safe, but in the end, get free art and some free smooches out of him!

ELIZABETH - 47

thats my mom ... of course she gets a good cheek smooch for all her hard work keeping dusk safe!

DOMHNALL - 46

i love domhnall hes a good guy whos trying his best but also his mask is so fucking goofy i dunno if i can do it .

RICKERT - 45

as much as i think rickert would be a good kiss (hes smart, cute, and skilled!) he is trapped behind some bars willingly and probably wont let you in. i can dream though!

CEASLESS DISCHARGE - 44

if theres any boss that NEEDS a kiss its him. poor dude lost all his family and was turned into this laughing stock of a creature. youd probably burn your lips but .... please just be nice to him :-(

SHIVAS BODYGUARD - 43

ooo a strong yet silent type.... hes even cute under his mask! good kiss, but i feel like he might just care more about his actual job than a kiss ! hes dedicated !

CIARAN - 42

putting aside me knowing shed be a good kisser, i just understand she probably doesnt want a kiss right now, shes grieving over the loss of her friend and i respect her comfort. maybe a good pat on the shoulder and a cup of nice tea with her would be nice though! 

PINWHEEL - 41

may seem like a weird choice to put a necromancer up so high on the list but.... honestly pinwheel needs some love. dude lost his whole family and in trying to revive them accidentally fused them to himself. while he might not be the best kisser, i honestly just wanna tell him everythings gonna be ok.

KIRK - 40

ok if you know me you KNOW how much it pains me to put kirk so low but. hes a busy guy! not only is he doing so much work to help out where he can with the fair lady, but you might just get pricked by his spiky armor while youre going in for the smooch! so, as much as he deserves a kiss for all his hard work, maybe pass until another time!

SIEGLINDE - 39

were getting there! she is just so strong... and so brave........ she may not even be undead! sieglinde is so strong and wonderful doing all that just to deliver a message to her unruly father, she deserves so many kisses! Shes got a lot on her plate though so please respect her......

BERENIKE - 38

(just mentioned!)

implied to be a huge strong knight who made it to even sens fortress! yes please ! 

BELL GARGOYLES - 37

hmmmmm,.......... if u can get past the whole lighting your face on fire, these are two loyal gargoyles! that seems pretty good to me!

BEATRICE - 36

a wonderful helpful witch friend! she is so nice to help you defeat flying bosses with her magic!! i love her so much! shes even cute to boot! 

GIANT BLACKSMITH - 35

HE HELP ANYTIME................... I HAVE TO GIVE HIM A KISS FOR ALL HIS HARD WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LEGALLY I HAVE TO !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RHEA - 34

putting aside my hatred of the way of white.... rhea really is just a babey.... shes adorable and kind and just wants everyone to be ok so im won over. maybe a little forehead smooch for being such a good person!

OSCAR - 33

oh oscar. a noble, heroic, and cute knight but in the end. would he be a good kisser........ i feel yes, but maybe not so much so! hes busy focusing on being a hero you know! hes a good friend and i cant help but fall in love with nice guys

THE FAIR LADY - 32

she deserves the entire world and all i can give her is my humanity and a kiss........... sobs. i wish i could do more to ease her pain but she is so strong and wonderful! please give her a nice smooch! 

QUELANA - 31

i didnt wanna separate them ........ her wonderful sister! who even taught humans pyromancies! shes smart and nice, and honestly probably needs a kiss. 

MILDRED - 30

uh my notes from last night are just

so yeah! thats mildred!

CRESTFALLEN MERCHANT - 29

hes sad as fuck but also... kinda handsome! he was a knight of berenike and made it almost all of the way through sens fortress showing how skilled he is! a strong man like this (inspired by maybe the best kisser in demons souls, boirr) has to be a good kiss!

SIEGMEYER - 28

hes going through a lot right now but... how could u not think siegmeyer is kissable. thats on you man. thats your own character flaw.

OSWALD - 27

ok this might be slightly controversial but i feel like oswald would be a good kisser. if you got past his slightly weird love for velka who well get to (thats just carimites (carimians? carimfolk???)) hes nice and kind and maybe the funkiest character in dark souls

KALAMEET - 26

another cant kiss you but.... kalameet is just so cool ! very shadow the hedgehog and u know what that is NOT a bad thing. you might have a rough time trying to get there, but..... aww whos a good dragon.....

DARKMOON KNIGHTESS - 25

alright the final stretch! the darkmoon knightess is the anor londo firekeeper, and a friend of gwyndolin! shes supposed to be “ugly and shit” (real quote. i would never lie to you) but her model is so cute! defiantly kissable as fuck!

 SANCTUARY GUARDIAN - 24

GOFH ITS JUST A WIDDLE KITTEY CAT........... I GIVE IT A WIDDLE KISSEY ON ITS FOREHEAD AHOWHWWAWWW BABEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ALVINA - 23

AWHAHWAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW SHES H(FADOESAGVFOSDHFSO CUET EIFEDKC LKOFIE JS I LOVE YOU FJEADFIDASHCODEUFCUSFKSDHFKSUHFC

DUSK - 22

oh yes!! the princess of a lost land...... will you be her knight in shining armor.......... oh i just love her so much. shes sweet and nice and cute and deserves a kiss or two!! please be nice to my daughter!

SHIVA - 21

hottie with cool armor and a cooler sword. since they cut his whole sidequest i can with all certianty say YES he is super kissable and is probably a great kisser 

QUELAAG - 20

IGNORIGN HER GIANT SPIDER LOWERBODY........... SHES JUST DOING THIS FOR HER SISTER SHE JUST WANTS TO HELP HER POOR SISTER WHOS IN PAIN HOW COULD YOU NOT LOVE HER SO MUCH!! PLEASE KISS QUELAAG! 

GRIGGS - 19

im putting griggs so high cus hes kissable in a factor unseen before...... baby factor. hes soft and nice and is just trying to find his dad! just tuck him into bed and kiss him goodnight! its what he deserves! 

ARTORIAS - 18

everyone already KNOWS why artorias is a good kisser. hes nice, strong, brave, and most importantly. cool as FUCKING HELL ! HE DOES SICK ANIME FLIPS!! if you can look past the abyss slowly taking him over, youll find a good good boy who deserves a good kiss.

ANASTACIA - 17

the good firekeeper who we spend most of our time with in 1! YES of COURSE Shes kissable. she deserves SO MANY kisses for all of her hard work in keeping the firekeep shrine lit! good job anastacia im sorry lautrec is like that

VELKA GODDESS OF SIN - 16

(just mentioned!)

if her title alone doesnt bring you in, youll be pleased to know shes implied to help watch over priscilla (who well get to hold your horses) and keep the poor girl safe! a strong sense of justice and a love of crows, shes probably an amazing kiss if you can find her! 

ANDRE - 15

were closing in on #1 and i just have to throw andre in here. hes so nice and strong! just . please kiss andre! he deserves some he does so much work! 

PRISCILLA - 14

poor priscilla. called a monstrous crossbreed and has to hide in a painted world to stay safe from those who would hurt her. including the internet! leave her alone you freaks shes not your fetish fuel!!! she deserves a good kiss on the cheek and a hug for all she has to put up with

 CRESTFALLEN WARRIOR - 13

its my list i get to put the crestfallen warrior where i want. and u know what? he would honestly be a good kiss. hes kind and helpful and never once wishes you harm, he just needs to be held tightly and kissed passionately and u know what. dont we all. 

GWYNEVERE - 12

she is beautiful but .... 1 shes married and 2 shes not even real! whatever. her husband the flame god flann is at least.......... hot! haahgdaefshdfcdhswfe im so fucking funny

BLACK IRON TARKUS - 11

listen i see a big beefy dude i go “hey thats hot please kiss me” so of course tarkus is this high up hes the beefiest dude around.... right?? anyways all knights of berenike are kissable hes just the MOST kissable of the 3 named ones!

ORNSTEIN - 10

this dude kisses the son of gwyn you KNOW hes a good kiss. the golden lion armor just helps so much. we love you ornstein .....

HAVEL THE ROCK - 9

HERE HE IS ... THE BEEFIEST GUY AROUND ... this bitch uses a DRAGONS TOOTH as a huge club to bash people with if that isnt big dick energy i dont know what is. armor made of stone. heart made of gold. havel the rock please god kiss me passionately under the moonlight .

SIF - 8

oghfoghfohg puppey..................................... SMOOCHIE THE PUPPY>...........

NAMELESS KING (!?) - 7

(hes just mentioned in ds1!!) 

I KNOW HES A DS3 BOSS BUT LISTEN TO ME THEY TALK ABOUT HIM SO MUCH IM ALLOWING THIS.  he defected from his awful dads team to go help the DRAGONS!! thats so cool hes so kissable. would be more kissable if he wasnt kissing ornstein but thats ok . i respect them both.

MARVELOUS CHESTER - 6

this MAY just because i have a huge crush on him but also here are some good kissable things about him: his fasion, his voice that sounds like a purr, his laugh, his malice, his funny mask, him. thank you for your time.

GWYNDOLIN - 5

FINAL FIVE! heres gwyndolin. the most kissable of all of gwyns children for the sheer fact of how much work they put in to making sure people stay safe and happy. they are so kind and wonderful they deserve SO MANY kisses! good on you gwyndolin....

LAURENTIUS - 4

now heres a fun one! laurentius is one of the nicest guys u will EVER meet in any souls game. he genuinely cares about you, he loves and respects u even if u dont respect him or his skills, hes nice cute and above all: i love him . please kiss laurentius he is a nice guy who just wants the best for u..... dont be mean to him.....................

CAPRA DEMON - 3

the highest one that cant kiss back and thats for the capra demons SHEER HORNY ENERGIES. this is a demon you can fuck! thats it i have nothing else to say i just think the capra demon is funny

SOLAIRE - 2

do i seriously have to explain why solaire is so high up. not only is he nice and cares about you, hes handsome, passionate, and just a good fucking person. he is hands down one of the most kissable characters in any souls game ever! fuck yeah! go off you funky little lover boy! 

and finally.

its patches.

[archer3-13]

Fire Emblem Heroes Book III,Initial Trailer First Impression: Spooky Scary Skeletons are 4 edgy 8 me

the long and short of it is that im pensively optimistic about what’s in store, especially from a story angle, but that theme song can go suck a donkey’s tit.

anyways, book III and it seems were gonna be doing the tango with spooky scary Victorian skeleton warriors and a scary lady with a big ass scythe. Fuck Yeah!

so ignoring the theme song since it’s just... fuckin awful or at the very least unfitting, lets get into this by first talking about

THE TRAILER

So I gotta admit, i enjoyed this one a lot more then book II right off the bat.

opening on some flowers, we immediately know that shits gonna get fucked but my story telling instincts are telling me that this might possibly, probably, definitely, be a metaphor for this characters happy childhood in her kingdom when it was not fucked however

shit got fucked, unsurprisingly. instead of the villain looming ominously overhead like fucking doctor claw or no-heart however, we get a shot of our new hero twirling into the villains strangely comforting embrace by accident which does get me curios since it might imply, heaven forefend, that she willingly sold out her kingdom or home or whatever to the devil here and now has to fight to get it back and correct her own mistake in some sort of possible and interesting character arc here? just my take on it anyways.

moving on, we get these idiots in the woods as the fuglyness of them gives me whiplash from the actually pretty rad looking duo earlier. I kid but seriously if lokis a 0-2, alfonse a 3-5, then the hero and villain of book 3 are at an 8-10 each. my point being, there is quite the contrast in my opinion. anyways, alfonse is looking sad lost and afraid and loki’s pouting since she probably gonna be barely relevant yet fucking intrusive again.

also sharenas there in a similar state to her brother.

also veronicas just kind of there, and im getting a bit worried since we just got lokis douche smirk a few seconds ago and veronica just seems to kinda be there again.

the promotional shot, so shits about to get real again!

we get a nice shot of these two new lovely faces, doing the naruto run for a bit when the leading runner decides to pull out his fancy sword with an intense close up, definitely indicating that hes probably gonna be a blood knight of some sort. anyways he and alfonse begin to fight with blood knight pushing alfonse back and red energizer lady decides to fight

alfonse as well. man it is not alfonses day here is it? anyways, psychidelic drugs kickin at this point and the floor dissapears under alfonse as he starts to sink into sticky black goo well reaching out to sharena as-

oh?

oh! well, sharenas dead now and alfonse just can’t take the death of such a... memorable sister... and so he crys well the black goo decides to try and eat him if hes not gonna sink himself. this transitions us nicely to

our new hero looking into her dagger to see sad alfonse, and then she begins crying on a battlefield of weapons, with the heroes trios main weapons clearly in the fucking foreground implying they all died horrible deaths. quick, happy flashbacks to imply she, or you, or someone is thinking of all the good times!

there we go.

i did not kill her it’s not true, it’s bullshit, i did noooot

oh hi mark

we get this nice panning shot of a battlefield littered with weapons, implying corpses, as the hero and villain of book III stare each other down with the villain being a smug fuckin asshole and the hero clearly ready to cut a skeleton bitch.

our hero does a slight turn of the knife, and looks determinedly ahead as the trailer cuts out.

so, aside from the theme song being kinda out of place in my opinion (like, i guess it works for being unsettling but it really does feel like some marketing exec being 8 edgy 16 me cause he thought the kiddies would like it) i rather enjoyed the trailer. it set up a lot more and teases a lot more interesting story elements and ideas then book II did, its grim oppressive atmosphere is nicely out of place in comparison to feh’s other stories, it’s just better shot and paced as a trailer, and the characters look like they have an interesting history going on. speaking of looks...

THE LOOK

cause i was not expecting to be digging the look as much as I do. well the fiber glass looking stuff, that i feel was intended to be spoopy etheral light, on the villians looks a bit cheap and silly and hides the skeleton bones a bit much requiring a second closer viewing to catch that they are spoopy skeletons, the overall look im really liking. 

the sword general especially has a get up that reminds me of a reanimated suit of armour and if they had leaned into that by giving him a helmet i think it would have been even better, but for what it is he looks pretty good and threatening. the other major complaint i have aside from them not leaning into him being a reanimated suit of armour by giving him a helmet is that his face looks to much like alfonse’s which annoys me. mind you, it could be leading into some sort of plot twist later on so if it is, all i can say is i hope it’s a good one.

the lady general looks the weakest of the three in terms of visual design, but thats not as bad as it could be since she still looks a hell of a lot better then anything book II produced. still, the red stuff hiding her skeleton bits looks the most like plexi glass. Although thats about the only thing i outright dislike on her, aside from not leaning into spoopy skeleton territory more, it really does hold her design back in my opinion. i mean, fucks sake make it look more like ethereal light, add some armour here and there if need be, and boom it would be another winner of a design.

hel here, the big bad, has no such problems however. I love every bit of this lady, and i dont even care that if the glowy bits of her were actual skin she would have a design that’d comfortably fit in with kill la kill. she’s a lady villain, which isnt a requirement but something im damn well happy with especially if she ends up being well written, and she has many things i love in villains and characters in general. grim reaper theme, Victorian goth aesthetic, a black, white, and purple colour scheme, tattered flowing cloths, long wavy hair, a threatening appearance and most importantly shes a spooky scarcy skeleton. a purple spooky, scary, skeleton. I will cherish you forever, and i am crossing my fingers and praying to you that your well written and entertaining. plz be good, plz be good, plz be good...

oh right, and the mandatory good guy/gal of the book. well that bit sounds dismissive, i honestly gotta say that im digging her a lot as well. shes not a spooky scary skeleton sadly, but the victorian gothic elements of her design work really well, and shes nicely distinct from the heroes trio this time unlike fjorm who was basically sharena 2.0. im gonna hope shes well written as well, so that i can seriously grow attached to the new hero this time cause from her design alone.

so yeah, looks wise im digging this a lot more and though the artist for this is clearly Yusuke Kozaki, an artist ive vocally disliked in relation to fire emblem for a while now, i feel ike his style works to much better effect here with the ridiculous bdsm Victorian gothic style and the darker colours.

GAMEPLAY STUFF

nothing particularly interesting to note, mythic heroes definitely sounds like a dumb cash grab and i dont feel the aether arena quite has the pull in terms of gameplay to justify hinging a new summoning type gimmick on.

on a much more important note though...

beast units, huzzah!!  and tibarn and nailiah seem to be some of the first ones up which is even better! not sure what the gameplay video is implying on how their gonna play though, since it seems a bit gimmicky and raises the question of how that gimmick might effect manateke units, but they are here so thats cool. bird pirate king is ready to roll!!!

OVERALL

all in all, from the look and what the trailer hints at alone, i am optimistic, but the caution comes with what sounds like very lukewarm gameplay deals which might not keep people hooked for very long. idk, im looking foreward to it but im not gonna be heartbroken if its third verse same as the first.