#can you tell i didnt give af about coloring i just needed to see him rn

[uolivegb]

the chain user

(sketch lines below the cut)

[azover]

I'm gonna tell y'all a story

So I had to travel to my grandma's house yesterday, had problems and delays all day, had to reschedule my plane bc I was late and the one I got had to take a stop with 45min wait, touched down and went to the bus terminal to get the next bus to my hometown at around 18. Next bus was due to 2:10 am 🙂 so I have to wait for 7 hours with 2½ hours of sleep, trying to stay awake.

The time comes around and there's 3 busses going to the same place bc there's so many people needing to travel at that time, one at 2:00, another at 2:05 and one more at 2:10. Everyone's confused as to which bus they have to take, the drivers are being harassed, whatever. I get my answer, put my luggage in and head up to my seat: 20, hallway. I'm one of the 1st ppl to get seated n I'm just chilling.

In comes The Asshole Supreme (TAS for short), also knows as Hijo de la Re Mil Puta (hdlrmp, not in use)

So, TAS seems to be shortsighted AF, trying to look at the numbers on nearby seats. Let me give you a picture of this guy: he has a camo "tactical" backpack, cream colored fabric jacket, and a militar haircut. Eventually he comes up to me with the intention of sitting down, he signals for me to get out of my seat since I moved my backpack to let him through and he didnt accept, so I ASSUME he can't fit. I get up, and I see this motherfucker sit down on MY seat. To summarize the discussion:

He asked for hallway seat so he MUST have hallway seat

He had seat 19 (window) I had seat 20 (hallway)

I called him blind for clearly not seeing the sign

He tells me to call the driver if I have a problem

I tell him that he should go since I arrived first

He doesn't move

People are still coming in

The sign in question:

I go to the driver n say that a guy doesn't wanna get out of my seat.

TAS keeps saying that HE asked for a ticket for a hallway seat, driver checks the tickets, I tell this guy "I have hallway seat, I arrived first, you don't have more rights than me"

And this absolute piece of shit says:

"What do you mean I don't? You're a woman"

To what I respond:

"Go to shit! I'm not a woman!"

TAS and another guy look up at me wide eyed, and then he looks down at my crotch,,, n says "well still, I asked for hallway seat, why are you disrespecting me? You're telling me to go shit when I didnt say anything, driver she's being hysterical"

"You told me I didnt have rights because I'm a woman, you ARE disrespecting me"

The bitch of the driver then says to TAS ",,,, the ticket sellers fuck up sometimes, why don't you go sit somewhere else to prevent some shit going down" (or something along those lines, the word "señorita" being constantly trown around between the two).

Hijo de la Re Mil Puta then proceeds to get up, ask the guy on the seats opposite to the renowned Seat 20 if he can sit next to him, and gets the window seat anyway.

I don't know if TAS was a cop or military like dude, but he sure as hell acted like one, so I like to believe that I put a cop in his place, even tho I had to get a Real Man in an authority position to move him away. I also like to believe I made him shut the fuck up, he really didn't see the trans card being played.

I'm not gonna shut up and take what a guy with a military haircut wants. I'm not gonna meekly sit somewhere else and look to the ground. If I had a box cutter I would've cut him to pieces because I bet he's a violent coward that hits his poor wife, and if I had the guts and the energy I would've threatened to sue the bus driver for calling me a lady. By law he HAS to call me what I want, it's Sir to you and to everyone else.

It was never about the seat.

[sanchoyo]

danny phantom 8-13 thoughts! again, under the cut bc I blew through 6 episodes in one go...

-LOVE THE WAY THE GHOST ZONE LOOKS. but theres fucking ghost cops??? ghost jail??? that SUCKS imagine dying and going to jail in your AFTERLIFE. danny going to JAIL WAS NOT something I expected. but seeing all the enemies together and work with danny to bust out. SO ICONIC I love that actually. and the thing about real world stuff acting as ghosts in the ghost zone is very cool.

-'there are some things more important that hunting ghosts!' mrs fenton says, about her husband forgetting their anaversary (FOR THE 18TH YEAR IN A ROW?? CHRIST) and not about, idk, their son clearly freaked out. she didnt even notice he was gone into the ghost zone!!! he might be a bad husband BUT shes not the best mom. they suck and I don't care about their relationship problems I care about these kids. danny doing his best to clean the house to keep his mom from getting mad at his dad?? hes such a good boy I want to cry, this is not his place, his dad should be cleaning his own shit up!!!

-maddie's butch lesbian sister is living my best life in her lil cabin. also being a snarky bitch to jack. queen. and her getting a 10th anniversary of her divorce. LOVE IT.

-mr. lancer being a cheerleader in his younger years makes perfect sense to me. king shit.

-dr. spectra's cat ears/mullet hairstyle?? sooo cute. I also just love the concept of a ghost just. sucking out people's positivity and feeding on emotions. a great villain. she put danny in a fucking diaper what the FUCK. and keeping it cold so no one would suspect shes a ghost??? INCREDIBLE. and her gay little blob sidekick. wlw mlm evil solidarity.

-JAZZ FOCUSED EP. YEAAAH!!! her first thought when she saw the ghosts was like 'omg i gotta tell danny :)' and her going to the teacher and also councilor trying to get help for him...shes just 16 but shes trying so hard to help him out :( watching this when youre younger I can imagine ppl are like omg annoying!! but watching this when im older im just like :( jazz baby im SO sorry </3 SHE BODIED THAT GHOST THOUGH. and the fact she didnt tell danny she knew surprised me. like, shes patient and waiting on him to tell her when hes ready!! thats so so sweet.

-christ the parents talking about 'PEELING IT LIKE AN ONION. AND EXAMINING REMAINS' of ghosts RIGHT INFRONT OF DANNY.

-'why am i so depressed and angry all the time!!' DANNY YOURE 14. i mean it IS a ghost this time, but...

-579$ top?? VALERIE NO ITS NOT EVEN CUTE IT DOESNT EVEN GO WITH THAT OUTFIT AAAA. tho this ep is called shades of gray..VALERIE FOCUSED EP FINALLY????! *THUNDEROUS APPLAUSE* I already knew about red huntress from my redesigns, but I didn't exactly know what that entails or how/why, so, it's fun to see the Origins.

-ghost pubby! ghost pubby!!!!! why is the dog a ghost?? the implication that the company had guard dogs and got rid of them...what did they DO. is it just the unfinished business?? of not having that toy it was looking for?? god I hope so.

I feel SOOO bad for valerie tho, my god. her friends are shunning her for what, because her dad lost her job and she had to move??? horrible. (and the fact the dog wrecked the moving van too...) I also love how 'from wisconsin' on the package was an IMMEDIATE RED FLAG FOR ME. WISCONSIN=EVIL NOW. vlads so petty.

-it took valerie like 5 mins to get the hang of hunting ghosts and shes already a much bigger threat than his parents tbh. who've been trying and studying this for years. and a more valid reason <3 love her shes so cute and cool. new daughter alert.

-'i should do SOMETHING to help valerie' no shit danny???

-'who is that, awesome outfit!' -top gay sam moments. i was going to say. before it immediately cuts to sam kissing danny LMFAOOO. don't think I like that, it puts tucker in a weird third wheel position... the next ep involves them holding hands and blushing when danny's cold...URGH No. not a fan ngl. the trope of 'if theres a girl in a trio she has to end up with one of the two guys!!'

-right as I say that they take it to extremes!! and ember shoots him with a love ray gun that makes him OBSESSIVE OVER SAM. AND SHE TAKES HIS HANDS AND SAYS 'YOU DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT ME, I DONT FEEL THAT WAY ABOUT YOU' and her saying she doesnt want to be together like this. and tucker saying 'i always knew you two would get together!!' dont manifest it tucker please. the show pushing for it so hard makes me not want it KSHKJKJD I KNOW its probably canon. it sucks though. im a hater.

-vlad just LURKING AROUND THE SCHOOL GIVING VALERIE GIFTS ASJKDHKJ YOU WEIRD PETTY OLD MAN GO HOME!!!

-EMBERRRRR YOU WILL REMEMBERRRRRR . this is the one thing I kinda remember from when I was a kid EMBERRRRR ilu. top 10 cartoon bops. sams being a hater. popular things are popular for a reason. mr. lancer also being a hater. also everyone wearing her color scheme ..its a really good look, the purple, black, and minty color...

-penguins exist in the ghost zone. confirmed.

-EMBER JUST SHOWING UP AT A RANDOM HIGHSCHOOL TO PLAY?? UNANNOUNCED, MID DAY??? girl get a tour schedule. make some money or smth damn. I know shes probably doing it for the power boost but. lord. anyway if your show doesnt have a concert scene/ep, is it even valid.

-fellas is this gay. (she uses a GRAPPLING HOOK TO SHOOT OUT THE WINDOW AFTER SEEING AN EMBER VAN GO BY RIGHT AFTER THIS SHOT)

-hey, she had an undercut at some point!! my redesign!!! was accurate!! in..a way

-I feel like danny has a lot of pent up aggression ngl, him being heartbroken about sam and immediately going IM GONNA GO TAKE IT OUT ON EMBER. I mean she needs to be stopped I guess But. jazz has the right idea he needs therapy and a HEALTHY outlet.

-tucker singing > my singing

-girls cant be gamers -tucker and danny sexist moments. her being chaos in the game OWNED.

-TUCKERS HAT IS A BERET??? I THOUGHT IT WAS A BEANIE. SAM CALLED IT A BERET. WH.

-it was actually nice of lancer to let danny retake the test, and he go to play games again. smh. epic cringe gamer moments compilation. and driving him home!!! I actually like him as a character. anyway teachers like lancer are SO appreciated. I was failing middle school because of mental problems, and felt so dumb and got embarrassed by teachers who would just get onto me instead of bothering to ask what the real problem was, but when I was taking my ged classes I had a wonderful teacher who kept reassuring me that I was smart, and I got honors!! danny is SUCH a little shit to him (understandable, 14, but) but seeing them getting along better and danny putting in effort. SO CUTE. THATS MY SON, STUDYING HARD!!!! and being so PROUD OF HIMSELF!!! 91!!! BITCH!!! A- is STILL AN A!!!

-'why dont they ever realize thats me in a dress' mr lancer i am CRYING. i realized.

-technus being my ghost grandpa who cant game asking tucker for help. bless his heart. his out of date old ppl lingo circles back to being endearing <3 tucker not recognizing him despite the like, lack of any kind of serious disguise...I do love their lil in-game outfits....sam being the tank rules. I like technus' spider design also. more characters need to be giant freaky spiders, imo.

-finding your gf a new host because she cant maintain her ghost body outside the zone? amazing. using jazz as the host? ILL KILL YOU. jazz immediately accepting a ride home from a guy she just met and letting him know where she lives. letting him IN THE HOUSE??? nooo girl no lets use common sense </3

-sooo cringe the parents were like 'good job for spying on your sister' tho wtffff. doesnt matter if hes a bad guy, thats fucked. everytime these parents BREATHE im like. these are MY kids now <3

-BAD LUCK BEING A THEME OF THE 13TH EPISODE. thats super fun. johnny 13 being his name is so. iconic. your last name is a NUMBER? also goth tucker. I actually love the look. everyone looks good goth. 'the ladies love the eyeliner and onyx nail polish' sam you are sooo right every man needs to at least try those two things. im a lesbian and I agree. same, danny, your bff is gnc af

-LOVE kitty's design. and just, the concept of a ghost with a bike. couple goals, except yes stay away from jazz.

[typicalhippiegirl]

Let's talk about something.

First off, I'm not putting this messed up, peely, gross looking tattoo up for anyone to judge (I'm not happy with it either). I'm putting this out there to help others learn from my mistakes & hopefully prevent them from going thru what I've been dealing with.

There's a tattoo expo coming to town with featured artists from out of town. I find one thru IG whose work looks clean & I like her style so I DM her about setting an appt. Shes got time this weekend yay! no waiting for the expo. -Do you see the mistakes I made already? It's so obvious to me now😓

Saturday's here, I head to the shop (for the first time) for the appointment & the moment I walk in it's like Uh, wtf? Half the shop is taped off & in the middle of a remodel (no dust or active working, just shit all moved around). I brush it off, theyre getting things ready for an expo right? They need people tattooing there, not playing pool so ya, no wonder it's a bit messy.

Next she shows me the stencil and its fuckin huge. Like I specifically said between 6-8 inches max bc it's going on my forearm & i'm not Stretch Armstrong. Shes like Oh I kept it between 8 & 10. Well ya didn't fuckin listen bc what woman has arms that long? So it's resized & idk what we were casually talking about but she def rolled her eyes at me. Look man, I'm a pretty easy going person and depending on the situation I may take a slight without saying shit. Also like low self confidence helps with that right? So anyway, at the point I should have been like Alright dude, we're not really clickin & I'm not feelin this anymore & walked TF out. I didnt. Like an idiot. I'm not gonna lie, part of it was losing put on the deposit the other part was just me telling myself it would be fine despite in my heart of hearts I knew it wasn't.

So we start. Yo, she's a Fuckin. Bitch. I wanted a theme right, this chick is supposed to be a Texas pinup, I wanted certain colors in her clothes. I asked "What colors are we thinking for her?" She actually scoffed and says "These ones" while motioning at her cups. Wow. Ok, well, fuck I don't want to ask her anything anymore so I shutup & go with it.

This shit HURTS. I'm not a pussy when it comes to pain. I have several tattoos, including fingers, toes and a whale that was particularly painful because it goes directly over my very bony shin. I've been cut, I've had a baby without drugs. Mags remind me of getting a razor cut and I find pleasure in the feeling. I can tolerate some pain and this shit sucked. Yo, at the end she switched down to a single needle and that was KILLER. I felt like I was being carved into (which, if you'd ever seen my back you'd know, I know the feeling).

Alright so finally we're finished & I roll into the next day. I'm a bit worried about the appearance and not just bc she looks like she broke her leg. It looks wet. I continue my aftercare as normal: antibac soap & aquaphor. Day 2 I'm researching infections bc it's super painful, red but mostly it's wet. I'm afraid of infection also bc this chick had the trash can right next to the station. I mean Right. Fuckin. Next to it. To the point that the trashcan lid fell onto the pad where my arm is. I want to ask her to move it but she's in such a bad mood I think it'll just make things worse & she'll be even rougher. By day 3 I've tried antibac goo & it seems to make my skin bubble where its been applied so I quickly quit using that. My arm hurts so badly at this point I cant put it down without getting shooting pains up my arm. I let it dry out so things are crusty but at least I don't find them medically disturbing. Regardless, I spend a lot of this day crying. Day 4 I'm still researching infection and come across overworked tattoos, scars & "hamburgering" My heart pretty much drops bc this is it, this is what's going on. What's even more fucked up is that I find this on forums for people learning to tattoo. Like apprentice's first few tattoos having this problem. Rookie shit, ya hear?😑

The pictures are from day 5. You can see splitting along the black lines, there's holes in the sun & near her belt. Oh and that's a thing. The hole is the sun is bc somehow a drop of green got in there so she went over it and over it and over it again with more red. Can you imagine my frustration at that point?

So look, I got this done Saturday, here it is Friday. My skin is very shiny and puckery where the peeling has come off. The scabs are thick af, I've only been moisturizing the places safe to so as of today almost everything but the cactus. Did I mention my arm still really hurts? I can't straighten it, there's pains that shoot out from the center, and why why why is my bicep sore?! I'm really worried about how the cactus is going to turn out. My skin looks bumpy between the cracks of scab. I think she used a crappy cheap green. I'm really left wondering about her experience as a tattoo artist. I'm just saying: My first tattoo was done by a scratcher in a dirty apartment bedroom. He did such a shitty job that I took the machine from him & finished it myself. Might I mention I was 16 and completely coked out of my mind? Also, I didn't hamburger myself and there was no scarring over that disaster of a tattoo (which thankfully no longer exists thanks to the aforementioned painful whale)

This whole thing has fuckin sucked. I don't want anybody else dealing with this. Let me outline some things I should have done differently so if you find yourself in the same situation you can make better decisions than I did.

1. If you're looking on IG for an artist make sure they also post healed pics not just fresh ones.

2. If you're not vibing with your artist it's ok so call it off. Look, a 60$ deposit aint shit to lose in the grand scheme of things, can you get a cover up for 60$? How about bad work or a bad experience lasered off? You can't get those deals, oh who knew? Sometimes losing money is saving it.

3. Don't get shit from travelling artists. Maybe they woke up a 3am & drove 8 hours & now they don't give a shit about anything but going home.

4. If the shop doesn't look great, walk out. Again, whats 60$ compared to your health and happiness?

This is a long post & it's not something I usually post about (lol who am I kidding? Personal tragedies are kinda my thing). It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed how she came out, I'm embarrassed I didn't speak up, I'm embarrassed I didn't just go to the person I knew could give me a good tattoo. It wasn't even about money, I didn't get a deal on this pinup mess. All I can do is move on. Thank goodness this wasn't my first piece or I may have been totally turned off from getting anymore ink. Now all I can do is continue my aftercare, hope for the best and when the time comes I'll go visit Vinny at American Tradition and get something else on the backside of my arm to distract from this mess.

Much love my inked up friends❤

Hey and if this speaks to you like you've been in this situation or are currently in it, feel free to DM me.

[hoodienot]

Time to take about weird dreams again SORRY ITS LONG

So in this dream, I was close buddies with an alien guy dude. He was kinda like a gray though his skin was more of a off white color and his limbs / hands were lacky af. And his eyes were of course big and black. I think he had or could have red accents on his body but I dont remember each detail.

Regardless; me, my boyfriend and the alien guy were going off to meet with my bfs brothers for some kinda huge science-y tech fair thingie. The Alien dude was cool with it but in the back of my mind I knew he couldnt stay out long as being exposed to "raw" earth air was dangerous to him. He said he was fine though because it was only for a bit and unlike humans it takes wayyy longer for him to suffocate (very reassuring buddy)

We go to the place and its kinda meh, kinda like a Ted talk in a way at least in set up it was mostly talk and not much seen beside concepts. However I do remember it going on for a while. I think it was getting dark and I remember Alien buddy "coughing" a lot.

So I yelled up to my Bfs brothers, tell them were leaving (this disturbed the tedtalk thing people got mad but honestly didnt care friend was fucking dying). I help buddy outside and were walking home (which is luckily not to far) but then he fucking collapses and just goes stiff.

Im obviously like WHAT THE FUCK but being friends with him for so long I kinda subconsciously knew this was apart of his reaction to basically suffocation. The aliens would lock their "muscles" up to stop air from reach them and they kinda go into a coma to slow down their need for proper air. Though obviously he can only say this way for so long so I fucking tell my Bf to keep an eye on him as I fucking boot my ass home to get his emergency suit.

And if you are like "why didnt he have that in the first place BEFORE going", trust me. How fucking complicated this suit is Id fucking understand why someone wouldnt put this on everytime they went outside. Its a hassle.

I get some of the more vital pieces and head back and OF COURSE I see people "trying" to help. Though they were going about it all wrong and I was like "HES NOT A HUMAN YOU CANT TREAT HIM LIKE HE IS. LEAVE HIM ALONE THIS ISNT THE FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED" (Again it was like I was friends with this guy forever so I knew all his quirks)

People back off for a bit and I put the suit on him ever so gently. It was kinda like a divers suit but in more pieces and with a full face visor. I get those on and I again go home to get the rest.

Im scrambling for the last pieces when I hear sirens and I rush out to see what the ambulance is doing because hell I dont even trust them to get it right.

AND FOR FRICK SAKE THEY ARENT. Everyone keeps trying to pick him up or move him and I knew in the state he was in that ANY wrong movement could literally break him. So I shoo all these idiots off and the Ambulance people just "supervise" as i get the last few pieces of the suit and click it on.

He just sitting there motionless still and everyone is like "WELL THAT DIDNT DO ANYTHING HES GONNA DIE" and they were fighting with me to take him but I kept trying to tell them he need to be man handled very careful or his fucking bones would snap and he was fine he just needed to loosen up and then they could take him to give him a check up. The suit was working (at least i think was. I remember his body getting warmer and softer which was like an indication it working)

But again people fought and I shit you not I think someone stepped one him fighting with me.

GOD I WAS SO FUCKING MAN though the dream ended after that so now Ill never know if he was okay or not. I miss my alien friend, I’ll have to draw him sometimes rip,,,

[svtbiasrekt]

NewParent!Vernon

oh mah gawd this is such a late request i am so sorry anon i hope you love it tho :’) Under keep reading since its long af

New parent!Vernon

Oh boy our boi Vernon’s gonna become a dad

You and your husband Vernon were pretty shook when you both found out you were expecting

But it wasn’t a bad shook oh no of course not

It was a super happy shook

Like vernon’s eyes widened but he had the biggest grin plastered on his handsome face

“OMG Y/N I’M GONNA BE A DAD!!!”

“Yes honey you will be a dad” you said as you playfully rolled your eyes lol

Vernon was super enthusiastic so as soon as he finished calling his family and seventeen to deliver the news he wanted to start on the nursery

You and Vernon agreed on painting the nursery a pastel baby yellow color since it was gender neutral since you didn’t know the baby’s gender yet plus it was a nice color

Soon you found out you’d be having a daughter!

And boy was hansol enthusiastic

“I’M GONNA HAVE A LITTLE GIRL!!”

You could tell he might end up spoiling her

Sigh

But aren’t dads supposed to spoil their little girls?

You’re due date was approaching very quickly

You were basically 8 ½ months long when Vernon FINALLY decided to start constructing the crib

And boy was he struggling

You were in the other room when you heard a hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUUUI5EvylY (skip to 3:40)

You chuckled and walked (waddled) to the nursery

And there you saw a collapsed crip with a defeated Hansol next to it

“Do you need help lol?” you asked.

“YES but no i don’t want you to wear yourself out” said Vernon

Aww he’s so sweet

“Don’t worry Y/n i’ll finish this soon”

15 minutes later you heard the same hushed “oh shit” followed by a crashing noise

Oh god Vernon

Eventually he ended up calling Seungkwan to help

Seungkwan was probably the most excited out of seventeen for your new bundle of joy

As soon as Vernon told him the news he literally SCREAMED

Like the other members almost went deaf

Seungkwan even teared up a little since he was sooo happy

So anyway Boo was now at your house and was super happy cause the one and only uncle boo will have credit for helping make the crib

He asked questions like if you and vernon were ready or not and stuff

“Hell no!” laughed Vernon

This boi was pretty nervous as your due date approached

But you assured him he’ll be a good father

He still doubted himself tho :\

After like two hours of more hushed “oh shits” and sassy outbursts at the “problematic crib” the crib was finally built

“Y/N THE CRIB IS DONE!” yelled Vernon

“Yeah after like two million years ughh” whined Seungkwan

You only chuckled tho at the two bffs

Once Seungkwan left hansol became all serious

You were like what’s up?

“I couldn’t even build a crib how will I be a good father!!” asked Vernon sadly

..what

Damn he was nervous

“Hansol just because you can’t build a crib doesn’t mean you’ll be a bad father! you‘ll be the most caring and loving dad i know it.”

“You really think so?” he asked

“Of course”

“Thanksss” he said as he rested his head on your shoulder and wrapped his arms around you

Aww

He was being a lil softie

Anyway your due date came along

Both of you were super nervous but excited too

And all that nervousness and excitement for nothing

You never went into labor!

“SHES LATE” you whined overdramatically

“MY GOD BABY GIRL YOU HAD US WAITING FOR NOTHIN” whined Vernon

“We might as well go to bed” you told your hubby

“Yeah i guess so” he said as he climbed into bed

As soon as you were about to get into bed you felt your water break

ARE YOU SERIOUS

RIGHT IN FRONT OF MY BED (SALAD)

“Oh mah gawd MY WATER BROKE!” you screamed

“AHHH” screamed Vernon

“Uhhh HOSPITAL?? NOW??” you yelled. You didnt mean to sound harsh tho but you were quite in labor and in need of a hospital so

Vernon scrambled to help you into the car and made sure to drive carefully to the hospital

As you were driving you remembered the hospital bad

“Hansol… you packed the hospital bag right?”

“I THINK”

Ok this boi seemed more nervous than you the hospital bag can wait

Anyways

You make it to the hospital and the pain has gotten wayyyy worse

But despite all your screaming

And death grip on vernon

He still stayed with you for 9 fucking hours of labor

As soon as you heard your baby girl cry you saw Vernon’s face relax

And you of course cried at the sound of your baby

Vernon’s eyes were filled with wonder though as he saw and heard her daughter take her first breathes

He then looked over at you overwhelmed

All he could do was mouth ‘thank you’

And then tears flooded out from his eyes as he broke out into a smile as the doctor came forward to hand you your daughter

My god was she perfect

She had your hair color and eyes

She had hansol’s nose, smile, and eyebrows

She was so cute omg

You stared at her for a while and remembered vernon probably wanted to meet his daughter too

So you carefully handed her over to him

The same guy who thought he’d be a bad father remembered to carefully hold up her head and cradled her ever so gently

You’d say he’s got this fatherhood thing all right so far.

And omg vernon was so cute with her

Like he started a whole fucking conversation with her omg

“Hi baby girl! I’m your daddy and that’s your mommy! We’re at this place called the hospital…” and so on

All while more tears streamed down his face

And when she gripped his finger with her tiny hand

It was so precious but kind of hilarious

He made this sob-like kind of noise? It was hard to describe tbh but you giggled

You two were still not quite sure what to name her

Vernon suggested that her middle name could be his mother’s name (cause you know how much he loves his mom it’s so precious)

Btw his mom’s name is Melody

And you agreed with that idea she was a nice lady and obviously Vernon loves her a lot and Melody is a nice name

“Since i picked out her middle name you can choose her first name” said Vernon with a sincere smile as he pat your little baby’s head

That was so sweet omg

You decided to name your daughter D/n because (insert reasoning)

Soon Vernon’s family arrived and were thrilled to meet D/n

His mom really liked her middle name too haha

Your family came as well

Then of course Seventeen came to visit as well!

Seungkwan in particular, however, came in BAWLING

“SHE’S SO PRECIOUS!” he whisper yelled

All of seventeen wished you both congratulations

They were so sweet and already loved D/n

The8, being the artsy photographer he is, offered to take a family photo for you two

And of course you two said yes

And my god that was such a sweet photo

The members who were already parents were like “welcome to the club bro” to vernon

He was officially part of the parent line!

Anyway you two finally got to take D/n home

You “Checked In” to the home together as a family for the first time

“I check innnnn, Chwe house” sang Vernon oh god

You just rolled your eyes playfully at him he was so goofy

It was late like past dinner time and you and Vernon already ate that hospital food which you were tired of

D/n on the other hand was wide awake

You were surprised tho you thought she would be asleep by then but nope

So you and hansol decided to give D/n a tour of the house

Vernon pretended to be the tour guide while you held D/n and followed him

“And over here is the toilet, which you’ll have to learn to use someday” said Vernon

“And finally this is your place D/n” he said motioning toward the yellow nursery

D/n was obviously too young to process all of this so she just kind of stared and squirmed

You noticed Vernon kept staring at his daughter in adoration

“Hansol?”

“Yeah” he didn’t take his eyes off her

“Wanna hold her?” you asked extending your arms toward him

“YES i mean yeah sure!”

He held her carefully and just couldn’t stop smiling omg

D/n let out a tiny yawn so you instructed Vernon to carefully place her in the crib he spent so much time working on

“But i don’t ever wanna let go of her!” whispered Hansol

I mean who could blame him

D/n was such a cute baby

But cute babies need sleep

After explaining that to him he reluctantly placed her in the crib and she fell fast asleep

You both proud parents awwed at your beautiful daughter

“C’mon Hansol lets go to bed”

You two went to sleep

Compared to other babies D/n wasn’t that bad

She only cried like twice during the night

And that was usually for feedings or diaper changes

And you and Hansol bolted out of bed to see what was wrong

You two decided that you would be in charge of feedings and Vernon would be on diaper duty

Within the first week D/n went through so many diapers and bottles omg

Also within that first week you and Hansol were so tired

It was hard raising a newborn and being first time parents

But you two worked really well with one another

When hansol had to go back to work he made sure to ask the ceo if he could leave a little earlier to check up on you and D/n

Ceo said yes thankfully!!

So when hansol would come home early you’d get an opportunity to shower and catch up on sleep while he watched D/n

“Y/n! I’m back!” he’d yell enthusiastically

You were on the couch feeding D/n who ate a lot

“Hi Hansol!” you smiled tiredly

“Lemme take over from here” he said as you passed D/n and her bottle to him

“Thank you so much honey” you smiled and kissed his cheek

“No problem!” he grinned and continued to feed D/n

You went to go shower quickly since its hard to shower when you have a newborn

Meanwhile Vernon decided to talk to his daughter

“So D/n, guess what happened at work today?”

D/n just stared at him with curious eyes

“Uncle Boo thought he could rap my super quick verse in our newest song, but he failed SO BADLY hahahaha”

He just kind of went on talking to her like she was any other person

Even tho she couldn’t understand what he was saying since she was just a week old

“Also D/n, if you have a favorite parent by now, i hope it’s your mom, because she does sooo much here for us”

By this time you had heard what he just said since you just finished showering

“She would be going to work too like me, but she’s staying home to take care of you cause she loves you so much! So don’t give her too much trouble, ok?”

You felt your heart melt omg

Because

AWW HANSOL WAS SO SWEET

And hormones too oh god

You cried a lil but you won’t admit it

So you went to bed in peace and made sure to thank your wonderful husband for his kind words

Man Hansol is such a sweet father and husband you were so thankful

[aharris00britney]

ASKS 04

wow I let this build up didn’t I.... updates on the ViVi inspired hair, Sim download info, some sweet people, some K-Pop, and other stuff below

@agentwashsims​ said: I️ knew you wouldn’t disappoint on the curly hairs!

Thank youu! lmao it is a pretty basic edit but I’m glad you like it ;-;

Anonymous said: Could you convert the solid colored EA Cruella DeVille style for girls or tots?

Actually it has already been converted HERE (warning: she uses an ad thing :( )

@pierce-the-rachel​ said: Okay hello I just love your cc so much!!! Like you're amazing I what you do. Much love<3   

Thank you so much omgg I am not nearly close to being amazing but I appreciate it <3

Anonymous said: Hi! Is there any chance your sim that modeled the Braxton hair will be up for download? Along with his cc?

Yes! In the next week he 100% will be. Taylor will be posted tomorrow :)

Anonymous said: What skin do you use on your male models? It looks the same as the female one but I can’t find it in CAS.

Check my resource page for my default. I don’t have the overlay labeled on there but in the next few days when I have my male model for download it will be listed there.

Anonymous said: I love your whistle skinny jeans alot, I was wondering if you were ever thinking about making one without the jacket around the waist? Sorry for wasting your time :P

That is sadly out of my ability :( but I am glad u like my whistle skinny jeans!! Not a waste of time to give someone a compliment

Anonymous said: Not exactly an ask but. I love your cc, you create beautiful content, and no matter what others say someone is gonna like it :)

Thank you soooo much omfg I really fucking appreciate stuff like this.

Anonymous said: Your creations are so awesome! I always love coming to your page and seeing all of your amazing creations!!

Thank you!!!!!! omg I feel bad that I never respond to these until I do these things, you guys that send these prob think I ignore them ;-; but for the people who read these and who send them: I really appreciate it like so much ;-; it has been a meh couple of weeks which is why CC has been slow but I love you all so much <3

@raivynmoon​ said: Omg why do you always get so much hate from anons? I’ll tell you why, because you’re doing things right and toxic people get jealous. Don’t mind the haters, you’re amazing! Happy new year ❤️ 

I actually don’t get that much hate! I never really pay them any mind bc I know as long as it is something I like that I will release it. People do def prob get jealous they can’t mesh stuff that well, not saying I am the god at it, but I do have some talent in that area from doing it for a while. Happy new year to you too!!! and thank you for the ask <3

Anonymous said: hey i just want to say that all of your cc is amazing, you put so much time and effort into it. of course everyone can give you feedback and opinions about what you make, but you are the creator so you can do whatever you want with it. that anon below was just rude, inconsiderate, and isn’t really helping anyone. that person obviously doesn’t make cc hair, because im sure then they would understand and not be a total jerk about it. maybe they should just stick to makeup, instead of hating.

<-- what she said (thank youuu)

Anonymous said: well I think that all of the hair you make is really great, even if not everyone likes it. You spend so much time making these amazing hairs and shout-out to the person below: why would you waste your time hating on somebody else’s hard work when you could be creating makeup cc? You don’t put your effort and time into creating this kind of stuff, of course I know you were also giving feedback.

Thank you <3

Anonymous said: THE HAIR IS CUTE AF

Anonymous said: Wcif the hair in your "In The Time Spent With You" post? Thank you!♡

Deleted :( I never got it to look how I wanted so I never finished it

Anonymous said: I'd just like to say that the hair looks pretty, honestly your hairs are always high quality and never fail to dissapoint, I'd just say that it could be a little puffier on the sides, and over all ignore the haters, they probably couldn't make anything close to what you're making! Luvs. 

Thank you!! I tried puffing the sides up some, here is a comparison pic:

(brown is now) (blonde is before)

@twirlyb​ said: I love the idea of the hair and I think it looks good so far but so you think that there's anyway to add for volume? I love the hair that it's based on and I really want to have it in game. I Completely understand if it's not an option but I though I would ask anyway. Btw I think your hairs are amazing. I went mostly cc free for a while (not anymore could handle not having cc but) and the only things I kept were my defaults and some of your hairs that I absolutely can not live without.

Refer above lmao

@cutesimmer23​ said: Hi , anonimus , I have a message for you. If you think Austin's cc is trashy , it's just your opinion. His ccs are one of my top favourites , and I support him in all that he does , even if that's not too good. He tries to do something and , even it's not perfect at the first time , he tries to perfect it. I really love his cc . And I have something more to say. If you are that good at cc give Austin a message (not anonimously) and then we will see who's the best. We love you, Austin!

Thank you <3 You're lovely for sending me this

Anonymous said: heyy love your blog and all of your creations. wcif ALL of your sims? do you ever upload them to the gallery?

Macie is already posted, link on my resource page. Taylor will be posted tomorrow, and my male model will be posted next week. The rest idk

Anonymous said: um can that damn anon piss off. your content is absolutely amazing and some things aren't for everyone but someone out there will love and appreciate it. also the hair in your profile picture looks gorgeous. is it released yet? and the wip you posted is cute af. ignore those haters <3

Thank you <3 Hair in my profile pic is my HyunA hair :)

Anonymous said: Hi, so sorry if anyone has already asked this, but I was wondering hat your origin ID was, since your sims are super cute!? Ps. I'm totally in love with your blog!!!

My origin is Spotharris but it does not have much on it right now, Ps. thank you

Anonymous said: Do you have any K-Pop albums? Which ones?

Oh my! I have a few! I have Red Velvet’s Perfect Velvet, and 6 LOONA albums (Kim Lip, Jinsoul, Choerry, Yves, Mix & Match, and Max & Match)

 Anonymous said: I miss you having Macie as your icon :(     

Me too jush she needs to make a comeback     

Anonymous said: Hey I was wondering if you could do a tutorial on how to make a middle parted hair side parted ?? please

I might do a livestream sometime in the future that is me remaking a hair like Joy or something where I did that. I am really bad at video stuff though so like... someone help?

Anonymous said: Can I just say how much I absolutely love all of your hairs? Like your so talented in making cc. Please keep up the great work!

Thank you!

Anonymous said: Can you convert the cupid eyes you posted for dogs/cats? It's fine if you can't, jw!

rip I can but I really don’t want to ;-;

Anonymous said: I just want to say I love you so much! All your creations are so beautiful and I use them ALL the time. Happy Holidays! ~ V

Happy late holidays!

Anonymous said: Do you have all of your own CC in your game?

Nooooo lmao

Anonymous said: does ur hyuna hair work with the ombres?

She does not :(

Anonymous said: make more diverse sims

gotcha

Anonymous said: yo i remember when you first started out and you were just starting.  now you've improved a HELL of a lot. like WOAH (i love your cc)

we don’t speak of those times in my life ok

Anonymous said: I don't know if you are open to cc requests, so if you are, would you ever consider separating them utility jacket from cats and dogs? I've seen so many people recolor it but I can't find it as an accessory, and I've looked everywhere.

A friend of mine tried it but it was really glitchy :( Maybe in the future I could give it a go?

Anonymous said: LIPS, HIPS LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) L-LIPS, HIPS (ahh, ahh) Hi-hi-hi-hi-hip (POP!)

yes i agree with everything

Anonymous said: I have the same b-day as you

only legends were born on that day. and December 2nd.

Anonymous said: Your birthday is the day before mine and the day after my sister's            

So close to being legends.... sad

Anonymous said: I thought, you're female😅😅🔫

rip ur mind after i blew it up by being a male

Anonymous said: damn didnt know u were homophobic lol

oh

Anonymous said: fmk: danny devito, shrek, and jim carrey's the grinch

fuck danny bc idk who it is and i know a hot danny. marry the grinch bc he i like mayor of whoville after the movie. kill shrek and take the donkey.

Anonymous said: ahHHHhhHh idk why but i love you so much(not in a weird way u pervery xddd)

thanks babessss

Anonymous said: You should start a gameplay

I dont have the computer or the time for that I am sorry to say

[ask-svt-hearteu]

bestfriend! Joshua

Anon requested: “could you do a joshua best friend au?”

Genre: friendship 

Word Count: 1504

you’ve known Joshua Hong for most of your life

went to the same school all the way into highschool

elementary, not much happened

probably just say hi and stuff like, “Can i use that glue stick when you're done” 

middle school came along and the two of you were officially in the 7th grade

you weren’t really the type of person to have a lot of close friends, maybe only a little over a handful

but you did have a lot of friends, your classmates and friends of friends 

because you never really had a problem having a fun and nice conversation with someone

Joshua was one of those friends, just the nice boy in your math and history class who actually knew all the states and their capital 

until your history teacher decided your class wasn’t allowed to choose their own partners anymore and chose them herself

“Y/n and Joshua, you guys have ‘Causes of The Civil War’ ” 

so as you gave up your seat for someone else, you scooted into the now empty desk next to Joshua

“Hey Joshuaa, so what do you want to do first”

“Hmm we can look at the text book first” 

the whole project had some class time available to work on it but was expected to be worked on at home

“Do you want to do a powerpoint then?” he asks 

“Yeah! What’s your number so I can send you the links and stuff” 

so you guys finished your project a day early and got an A of course

and the conversations should've died there or something 

except when you had to sit next to each other for presentations he leaned over and looked at the paper on your desk 

“You like Naruto?” 

you look down at you rough doodle of Naruto’s face and grinned

“Yeah do you??” 

so that’s how the two of you became close because later that night, you texted him ranting about the latest episode  

and the conversation went on to other animes

then somehow led to whether you finished your essay

then to which flavor of ice cream was best

the two of you, probably the most unlikely friends ever

the nice, quiet boy who hung out with his group of guy friends 

and the social butterfly who pretty much talked to everyone,

and now him

highschool came around and you watched as he taught himself guitar

and joined choir 

“What the freak Josh why am I just finding out you have such a nice voice, it’s not fair” 

“Oh,” he laughs as you poke his shoulder over and over again at lunch, “Sorry my bad”

even though you and Joshua had many different classes and were involved in different groups, the two of you never failed to hang out

one of the these times being towards the end of highschool, where you went to this annual Korean festival together

“Look I wanna go there! There’s fried fishcake” you saying tilting your head towards the stand and proceeding to tug on his arm

“Hold on please!” 

the both of you pause and turn to around to face a foreign voice

your eyes meet a Korean man, who’s facing Joshua

“Do you know what kpop is?” 

he continues to explain how he’s a manager for Pledis Entertainment and scouting for trainees, then asked Joshua if he wanted to join

“Ah can I please think about it?” he says, while you just look at them back and forth

the guy hands him is contact information and gives him a couple days to decide

“JOSH!” you squeal, even though you didn’t really understand the situation much, but you understood something, “You could go be a singer!”

“I know I know, but can I do it? Live in another country? How do I even know..” he trails off nervously

you grab his shoulders and look him in the eye,

“Joshua Hong. I know you kay, you finna spend the rest of your life regretting it, and I know how much you want this okay. What do I always say?” you stare at him pointedly

“If life gives you ramen you take it and eat every last bit,” he says, a smiling forming on his face

“Right!” you say laughing

so for the next two or so years, you guys always stayed in touch

without fail, you guys would at least text every other day

and when he debuted, he sent you tickets to his showcase with the backstage tickets 

so what other thing is there to do besides go

and be extra af 

so of course you went disguised as a fan 

with a baseball hat with seventeen written across 

and a giant neon poster with 'JOSHUA HONG' written across 

and a bright orange t-shirt with the derpiest Joshua face you could find from Seventeen TV 

and let's not forget the gift you prepared him 

you almost lose your voice from all the screaming you did but whatever it's worth it 

and when it's over, you go backstage

 and basically tackle Joshua, proudly 

"JOSH YOU MOTHER FREAKING DEBUTED" you scream loudly 

"Y/N WHAT ARE YOU WEARING?" he exclaims holding his laugh in poorly 

Svt crowds around you dying of laughter from your outfit 

the two of you catch up on everything and you end up pretty much being the last friend or family backstage 

with the other members screaming excitedly around you guys, you talk to them a bit 

"Guess WHAT I gotchu a gift" you say wiggling your eyebrows at Joshua 

he laughs, still on a happy high, "What what, I have expectations" 

"Oh TRUST me, this will be the best gift you've ever gotten" 

you hand him a gift bag 

as he pulls the tissue paper out, looking inside the bag, and immediately bursts out laughing

pulling the item out, the others are laughing and seal clapping 

"thanks for the matching shirt”

"Anytime, now there's more!!" you say winking 

he grabs the last thing from the bag and laughs, extremely amused

dropping the bag in surprise he holds the item to his face 

a water bottle with 'DRINK WATER NOT ALCOHOL' printed on in big, bold, black letters 

"You're gonna be dancing a lot so you need to stay hydrated!" you grin, winking excessively 

"Ah you're the best, seriously" he grins and pulls you into a hug 

fast forward 2 years or so later

your have your life together as best as you can for a college student, and find the time to attend his concert

like last time, nothing will ever compare to seeing Joshua and his group live

as you walk backstage, the more mature ish side of you doesn’t play jokes and engulfs him a tight hug

“You’ve made it so far” you say looking at him with tears in your eyes, ruffling his hair

“Qhat is this you’ve turned soft?” he jokes ruffling your hair also

“College does that to a person I guess” you joke

the two of your haven’t seen each other in over two years after all

and with this limited amount of time you guys made the most of it

right before you have to leave, he tells you to wait 

so you settle down at the edge of the stage, where the two of you were, legs hanging off the sides

he comes jogging back over, a box in hand

“What is this? you already gave me a set of merch” you say laughing, accepting the box as he hands it to you

“A gift” he says, flashing his eye smile

you make a surprised sound,”hmm? what did i do, you already give me a bunch of free stuff” 

“Aye we’re best friends, besides it’s nothing burdensome, promise” he claps his hands together and grins

you pretend to glare at his seriously, “Imma hold you to that Hong” 

opening the box, that was clearly wrapped by a staff member or possibly Mingyu

you know your best friend after all

picking up the object, the first thing you register is it’s a really nice looking water bottle

well as nice as they get

you're a pretty quick person so 0.1 seconds later you register the giant bolded words in your favorite color

‘WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU RAMEN YOU TAKE IT AND EAT EVERY LAST BIT’

you stare at the bottle then turn at Joshua who’s looking at you excitedly

“Wow i'm a freakin philosopher” 

“Yah!” 

“Just kidding~ i love it i’m going take it with me everywhere” you smile, wrapping an arm around his shoulder

“Good and drink water-” 

“And alcohol because yes i'm definitely gonna fill it with vodka or something” you tease

“No no no you better not!” he says pretending you scold you

“Ssshhh we’ll see” you smirk

“Y/n L/n” 

“That’s me, your bff dude” 

he doesn’t bother to try to further the conversation, knowing he’ll lose

and so the too of you sit there 

basking in the stadium lights and sipping on water not alcohol ;) 

MASTERLIST

[gelato-hearts]

So…

I just finished my complete play through of Dragon Age: Origins (actually played it 3 times before playing Inquisition) and Dragon Age Inquisition, but not Dragon Age II because it’s not freakin’ backwards compatible. So please allow me this little rant and p.s it may be long so I apologize ahead if time. [Also may contain spoilers if you have never played before]

During my play throughs of DA:O I played as a human/mage, human/rouge, and elf/rouge. Everything was fine so far! The more you play the annoying bits like going into the Fade and travelling the Deep Roads, the faster you get at beating them and the less they annoy you. But let me tell you what never stopped being annoying, the freaking Revenant. First of all,

HOW DARE YOU!!!

We’re not friends and you’re not my mom! How dare you yolk me up like a misbehaving child! I felt so disrespected, and to make it worse he would seek me out in the crowd, extending his hand to drag me though hordes of enemies and my friends just to smack me down.

Now to the ending of Origins. In all my world states, I romanced Alistair because it’s Alistair and he’s a total gem. So, by the end I knew I couldn’t romance him with my mage and I knew that if i didn’t harden him he would be a Warden and not be upset about. In my human rouge playthough I decided I wanted to be queen and took the necessary steps to do so. Then, I wanted to see what it was like to try and go for the mistress ending with my elf and I messed up.

“I will never hurt you.” She stated as she took Alistair’s hand gently.

“Nor I you.” Alistair whispers sweetly as he brings the Wardens hand to his lips, gently placing a kiss on her knuckles.

Well that was all thrown out the window when I didn’t put in the right dialogue and he dumped me. You could have gone back you are probably thinking, but alas it wasn’t meant to be. I was so upset that when I went to load the previous save, I accidentally saved the game instead.

“Lies!” You cry out in the distance

No, this isn’t the first time I have been distracted and accidentally saved the game when i meant to load a previous save. So too late in the game to romance someone else, I just plowed through the rest of the end game, missing the chance to save my warden, thus killing her in the end. And to me that felt like a fitting end for my elf warden.

Now let’s jump to DA: I. I had only vaguely heard about this game and I wanted to keep it that way, no spoilers or anything. I have only had one playthough so far and I brought my warden mage world state over and decided to make a human mage. Let me give you the run down of what went on.

Didn’t know how to pick up items for about an hour, remembered Cullen and immediately went to romance him, accidentally hardened Leliana within the first 5mins and didn’t realize it, looked at Solas and Blackwall and thought “man these boys are sketchy af”, Bottles on the Wall, flirted with Cassandra the entire game because why not, Cassandra becoming the Divine even though I was trying to make Leliana the Divine, never letting Vivienne out if the house because she needs to get her attitude in check, Dragon Hunting with Iron Bull, color coding each classes outfits, but making sure the warriors had Dawnstone because Iron Bull liked pink, Wicked Grace, dancing with Cullen, loving all the dialogue between the companions, trying to climb everything, Mythal, that flower crown though, Cole the sweet lamb, and much more.

Now for the bad things. By golly miss Molly these spiders are huge, a giant has thrown me half way across the map and I don’t know how to get back, are these really the only options, Wardens are you really that stupid, the Revenant is back and he is alittle too handsy, falling/jumping off every cliff because I’m clumsy, hey where is my fancy dress, so we’re just gonna let Corypheus pull an archdemon out of his butt, Morrigan why do you have to be like this, that giant spider came out of no where literally, pride demons evil laugh, bears are upon us and you guys don’t care, behind the wall they will stay because path finding didnt know about the wall, and etc.

Now for the ending of my long tale. Because I kept Alistair as a Warden in my 1st Origin game he was there and I was happy. He talked about my Warden with such love i almost cried. So imagine how I felt when I was stuck in the Fade with Hawke and Alistair and only one could leave. Obviously I picked Hawke because I never met her and she was ultimately me and I would risk my life for Alistair’s anyway, but Varric was sad and that made me upset.

Now as I had listed above about them sketchy boys, my speculation were correct. I knew something was off but Blackwall’s identity theft and Solas playing The Sound of Silence and Its Tough to be a God at the same time made me question my friendship with them, but I still trusted them both to have my back and they were my favorite companions so I looked past their faults and mistakes.

WELL….boy was I wrong about trusting Solas. I outfitted all my companions with the best I could find because I didn’t known how this fight would go down, even giving Solas my favorite and only witch staff. He was with me in the final battle against Red Lyrium in robes but then he disappeared with all the stuff I gave him INCLUDING my witch staff! Between him and the Revenant, I have never felt so disrespected.

After the all the problems and sadness, I really enjoyed these games. I wish I could play DA: II but oh well. Now onward to the DLCs! Oh and if you read the whole thing, that is some dedication and I applaud you, thank you, and ask that you stay for drinks! And if you didn’t read the entire thing then that’s okay you can stay for drinks too!

[Once again sorry for the insanely long post.]

[danceingiceprincess]

My ocs for BNHA

I have like so many fucking ocs with so many different quirks its hard to keep track some times i may talk a lot about them. I wanna share them xD ive got

Usagi who has an ice quirk (she was my first one for BNHA) so her quirk is black ice with purple speckles (based of obsidian in minecraft) in it and its pretty more durable than normal ice. But if she uses it too much, her wrists, ankles and neckstart to frost. She tends to use her ice with her martial arts she learned. Cuz when she was younger she thought martial arts was very beautiful and wanted to learn it.

Kára whos got a medical creation quirk, she is obessed with Izuku and has known him sincechildhood and has said shes gonna marry him from like age 5. She comes off as obessive towards Izu. But like she just wants him happy. Even if its with someone else. She always going between sizes as her quirk works like Momos,but she can only create medical related stuff. Like one day she could be a size 18 (this is UK sizing btw) then after doing hero training shell end up a size 14-16. She eats a lot of food. I like to make her intern with fatgum cuz of this. Shes also got a very good memory. So she doesnt need a book with her like momo. Plus since her creation is limited she can decide what to make. She makes a lot of scalpels and uses then like throwing knifes. And cuz her mums side of the family is from norway. Her name is a of a valkyrie,shes decided her hero name is gonna be Valkyrie. Cuz why the fuck not.

Lisette whos got a strengh based quirk, she helps Aizawa teach 1A and her hero name is Helsing. She has such a huge sex drive tho. And has broken her bed more times then shed like to admit. Shes also English and Japanese. Her dad was British and her mums Japanese. Shes also got a cute pastel calico three legged kitty named Tripod. Aizawa may or may not be seen napping with tripod inbetween classes

Ive got two that have brain washing quirk, one happens to be shinsous twin called Hitomi and has the same limits as shinsou. And is in general studies. She wants to be a hero like Shinsou because everyone saying their quirk is suited for villians. She just wants to prove them wrong because pissed her off. But she doesnt look as dead as shinsou.

The other one is named Rosalina she needs eye contact and a vocal reply but shes a trained as a paediatric doctor after she found out she was infertile and started a new life in japan cuz her boyfriend dumped when it was found out she cant have kids. She ends up working with eri a lot

Athena who has dragon summoning (one of her dragons is totally in love with toshi. Its funny af. The drsgon whos called Rosie will let out a happy screech and go to toshi for fussing and cuddles and just wrap her self around his neck and whine if she has to leave) Shes greek and uses her name as her hero name. She actually keeps crime down pretty well in greece as noone wants to fuck with someone who is named after the goddess of wisdom and war. Which is a family thing as all first born children end up with a mark from a god or goddess and they have to have that as her name. She got Athenas owl and olive branch on her arm. I pair her with toshi and they end up with a little girl that has the mark of a really really low level god thats name is Nana. Class 1A love little Nana. Nana gives everyone nicknames if they have a hard name to say, Bakugo is Boom boy, iida is zoom zoom. Denki is called pika. Mina is called Pinky. Ochaco is called kitty. Cuz nana thinks her hands are cat paws. Nana adores bakugo tho. And tries to make him have nap time with her. So some classes hes sat there with Nana asleep on him cuz she starts crying if shes moved. Nana will cry if monama from 1B gets too close. Rest of class 1B is fine. She likes the mushroom girl and tetsu.

Ive made one whos hawks little sister called Evie, her feathers are a lot stronger than Hawks but she is so much slower than him. Like Iida is faster than her(she has the biggest crush on endeavour tho and has searched online for a replica of his dick. Tho weve given Hawks the name of Jacob because he reminds us a little of Jacob frye from assassins creed syndicate. Itll change of course when Hori gives us his name) if. Im rping with my friend shes in 1A. And because of. Peoples head canons with hawks. She has bird habits. Like sometimes she sees a rodent shell go for it and someone has to go to her and make her drop it. I based her wing colors off a red kite. (where i live we have a lot of them. Ive seen seven to ten at one time flying in an area near the windmill we have in the village. We also know where one couple of red kites nest is.) shes also good friends with tokoyami and she tried to tell "for fuck sake do not intern with hawks. Hes only doing it because you and him would make a full bird" he didnt believe her

Reiko whos a kitsune whos my friends ocs and endeavour secert love child, shes got all the physical attributes of a kitsune (expect every ten years she gains a new tail instead of the every 100 years. So she only got one single tail atm) but a mix of kitsune fire and endeavours hell fire. And for now if she uses up too much "energy" she turns back into a tiny fox and will whine so much until someone from her family picks her up. Shes bitten her fellow classmates before when theyve tried to pick her up. She only really trusts shoto, izuku, tenya and kirishima when shes in her fox cub form. And she stays like that for a day or two

Hotaru who has an eletric quirk and shes hard of hearing, shes a UA teacher for general studies mainly shell help out with hero courses if they need the help, she tends to give denki advice with his quirk. She also has a cockatoo she brings with her to UA. It likes to head bang with present mic she has a support item thats a tail she can direct all electrical discharge from. She uses it as a tazer mainly. But if she needs to tazer more than one person she discharged from it all over and ends up with a lot of muscle twitching. Shes mainly does undercover hero work with the police.

Then there is Oka who pretty much has a quirk thats similar to Mirajanes magic from Fairy tail. She can change into demons. Any kind. But not fully. Just parts of her body. It depends on her stamina a full transform takes so much out of her she can hold it for like 2 to 3 minutes. Shes in 1B. But she looks like such a dude and wears the boys uniform so everyone thought she was a guy till she went to the female changing room. Noone really believed her so she just dropped her trousers and underwear. Going "I HAVE A FUCKING VAGINA. NOW FUCK OFF AND LET ME CHANGE IN THE GIRLS ROOM" tho she can technically give her self a demon dick. But she cant be bothered. Also some demon forms of her can give her tits. But after trying it she decided she didnt like how much weight it put on her chest and was basically "Thank fuck im flat chested"

Ill be posting love nikki photos of them when i do them!!

[amascomet]

Cars 3 thoughts

So I decided to watch Cars 3 at like 2 am, so here’s all my thoughts while watching. Warning: It’s long but it’s like fragments of sentences.

[1:43:52 AM] kool aid: livechatting cars 3 starting now [1:44:04 AM] kool aid: the opening is a reference to the first film [1:44:32 AM] kool aid: he's imagining doc husdon and remembering his words [1:44:44 AM] kool aid: "this ones for you doc" [1:45:07 AM] kool aid: sally still calls him stickers [1:46:23 AM] kool aid: I think hes still young rn [1:46:54 AM] kool aid: oh shit he lost his after the first race it showed [1:48:11 AM] kool aid: he lost [1:48:20 AM] kool aid: Jackson storm just got introduced [1:48:37 AM] kool aid: "just like when young McQueen made his mark" [1:49:11 AM] kool aid: "you've been my rolemodel for years" [1:49:19 AM] kool aid: that's from jackson [1:49:30 AM] kool aid: IT CHICKS [1:49:34 AM] kool aid: THE OLD GUY [1:49:44 AM] kool aid: THE OLD VILLIAN BRO [1:51:01 AM] kool aid: new generation rookies are now in the race [1:51:15 AM] kool aid: "so glad I get to race you in your final season" [1:51:38 AM] kool aid: hes starting to loose now [1:52:46 AM] kool aid: all the other veteran cars are retiring because of the next gen [1:54:09 AM] kool aid: some are being replaced [1:54:14 AM] kool aid: this is kinda fucked [1:54:21 AM] kool aid: "whered all your friends go" [1:55:42 AM] kool aid: HES TRYING [1:55:50 AM] kool aid: THERE IT IS [1:56:08 AM] kool aid: HOLY SHOT [1:56:14 AM] kool aid: FUCKING BRUTAL [1:56:34 AM] kool aid: THERES SIRENS AND IT JUST FADES TO BLACK [1:57:19 AM] kool aid: 4 months later [1:57:30 AM] kool aid: hes fixed but non colored [1:57:37 AM] kool aid: hes watching old footage of doc [1:57:48 AM] kool aid: HE WATCHING DOC'S CRASH [1:58:42 AM] kool aid: YO THIS IS DEPRESSING [1:58:53 AM] kool aid: NOT LIKE CRY DEPRESSIG JUST LIKE [1:58:55 AM] kool aid: BUMMER [1:59:24 AM] kool aid: "i don't want what happened to doc happen to me" [2:00:23 AM] kool aid: sally talked him back into training [2:01:40 AM] kool aid: "its futile to resist change" [2:04:08 AM] kool aid: sally and lightning exchanged real casual love yous went he went back on the road [2:04:13 AM] kool aid: idk but that felt [2:04:21 AM] kool aid: normal and nice to year [2:04:47 AM] kool aid: just pleasantly casual [2:05:15 AM] kool aid: hes being mobbed by cars that are asking [2:05:24 AM] kool aid: if hes ready to retire [2:06:04 AM] kool aid: his sponsers had to sold rusteeze in order to give him the new training [2:06:35 AM] kool aid: hes kinda like :/ about it [2:06:46 AM] kool aid: hes upset but like fake [2:07:11 AM] kool aid: hes saying goodbye to his old sponsers [2:07:46 AM] kool aid: the new center is like a museum about him [2:08:24 AM] kool aid: they saved the dirt from doc's original races [2:09:03 AM] kool aid: hes got a new paint job/suit [2:09:17 AM] kool aid: it monitors his speed and his vitals or however u spell that im [2:09:56 AM] kool aid: ITS THE NEW LADY CAR [2:10:10 AM] kool aid: the trainer [2:10:43 AM] kool aid: she had the highest speed we've seen so far [2:12:02 AM] kool aid: "i grew up watching you on tv" [2:12:13 AM] kool aid: ITS ZUMBA FOR CARS [2:14:21 AM] kool aid: CRUZ IIS MAKING HIM NAME HIS TIRES [2:14:32 AM] kool aid: HES UPSET CAUSE HE WANTS TO USE THE SIMULATOR [2:14:54 AM] kool aid: "I need u to launch this thing" [2:15:07 AM] kool aid: he doesn't know how to use it im [2:16:15 AM] kool aid: HES CRASHING INTO OTHER CARS INTO THE SIMULATOR [2:16:26 AM] kool aid: his sponser is getting upset [2:16:37 AM] kool aid: HE CRASHED INTO THE MULTIMILLION DOLLAR SIMULATOR [2:16:43 AM] kool aid: A113 [2:17:47 AM] kool aid: he's trying to brand his name [2:18:05 AM] kool aid: HIS SPONSER THINKS HES DONE [2:18:42 AM] kool aid: "your speed and performance aren't where they need to be I'm sorry" [2:18:52 AM] kool aid: "everytime you lose you damage yourself" [2:19:06 AM] kool aid: HES GETTING PISSED [2:19:19 AM] kool aid: LIGHTNING I MEAN [2:21:05 AM] kool aid: he made a deal to win the florida race or he'll retire [2:21:10 AM] kool aid: HE MADE A BITCH JOKE [2:21:28 AM] kool aid: "WELL LIFES A BEACH AND THEN YOU DRIVE" [2:23:51 AM] kool aid: cruz is having trouble racing on the beach [2:26:57 AM] kool aid: he went to go practice on an old track [2:27:24 AM] kool aid: but its like a Michael bay film out there [2:27:33 AM] kool aid: "last car standing" [2:28:13 AM] kool aid: "no cursing its family night" [2:29:15 AM] kool aid: okay but the millennial undertone stuff is strong af when I stop looking at whats actually good [2:29:46 AM] kool aid: cruz is a trainer but she can only actually race inside and isn't use to the outside without tech [2:29:57 AM] kool aid: IM GONNA MAKE A PREDICTION RN [2:30:07 AM] kool aid: BECAUSE SHE HAD A REALLY HIGH SPEED EARLIER [2:30:38 AM] kool aid: LIGHTNING WILL RETIRE BUT HE TRAINS CRUZ TO BE A RACER BECAUSE HE KNOWS SHE HAS THE ABILITY [2:33:04 AM] kool aid: lightning is getting pissed at her [2:33:07 AM] kool aid: I feel bad [2:34:09 AM] kool aid: "ask me if I dreamed of being a trainer" [2:34:12 AM] kool aid: SHES GOING OFF [2:34:22 AM] kool aid: THE VA IS REALLY GOOD HOLY SHIT [2:34:44 AM] kool aid: "ASK ME IF I DIDNT SAVE EVERY PENNY TRYING TO BUY A TICKET TO THE RACES" [2:35:29 AM] kool aid: "i didn't belong. the other racers didn't look like me" [2:35:39 AM] kool aid: FUCK MAN [2:35:40 AM] kool aid: IM [2:36:24 AM] kool aid: THIS MOVIE IS SO NEGATIVE [2:36:30 AM] kool aid: I LIKE THAT KIND OF SHIT [2:37:41 AM] kool aid: the media is talking shit about him [2:38:04 AM] kool aid: 1.2% chance of winning [2:38:24 AM] kool aid: "I predict his racing career would be over within a week" [2:39:05 AM] kool aid: he called mater for support [2:39:44 AM] kool aid: "i can't do this forever" [2:42:12 AM] kool aid: "I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry that I yelled" he says while Zumba car dancing in apology to cruz [2:42:18 AM] kool aid: hes looking for doc's trainer [2:42:27 AM] kool aid: "do you even know if hes alive" [2:43:23 AM] kool aid: he stopped to drive on doc's old track [2:44:34 AM] kool aid: HES ALIVE [2:46:41 AM] kool aid: "the fellas didn't like the ideas of a female racer" [2:46:50 AM] kool aid: cars 3 is woke af [2:47:24 AM] kool aid: FLASH BACK TO DOC'S HAYDAY [2:48:21 AM] kool aid: "i wish I coulda seen him like that" [2:48:25 AM] kool aid: "like what" [2:48:30 AM] kool aid: "so happy" [2:49:48 AM] kool aid: he's scared of being unhappy because he thought that doc was never the same after his crash [2:50:03 AM] kool aid: he sent letters back all about lightning [2:50:17 AM] kool aid: "racing wasn't the best part of hud's life. you were" [2:50:39 AM] kool aid: theres an emotional flashback montage [2:51:09 AM] kool aid: "he saw something in you that you don't even see in yourself" [2:53:46 AM] kool aid: cruz is training with him as a stand in [2:54:18 AM] kool aid: I'm 100% sure about my perdiction [2:54:57 AM] kool aid: shes learning too [2:56:37 AM] kool aid: THE NEW SUIT THING TORE OFF WHILE HE WAS RACING [2:57:26 AM] kool aid: HES HAVING PTSD FROM HIS CRASH [2:58:12 AM] kool aid: he keeps looking at the ground [2:58:29 AM] kool aid: its time for the florida race [2:59:38 AM] kool aid: he looks depressed as fuck [3:00:28 AM] kool aid: THERES THE KID SCREAM [3:00:45 AM] kool aid: HE SOUNDS SO UNCERTAIN [3:00:51 AM] kool aid: HERE WE GO [3:01:41 AM] kool aid: HES DOING OK [3:02:07 AM] kool aid: they are telling cruz she needs to leave [3:02:17 AM] kool aid: "take off those tires you look ridiculous" [3:02:25 AM] kool aid: "youre a trainer not a racer" [3:02:35 AM] kool aid: theres a montage of her being fast af [3:03:06 AM] kool aid: theres been a crash [3:03:15 AM] kool aid: couple of cars are out [3:03:24 AM] kool aid: hes calling for cruz to get back [3:03:52 AM] kool aid: HES TELLING THEM TO SET CRUZ UP TO RACE [3:04:11 AM] kool aid: "I STARTED THIS RACE YOURE GONNA FINISH IT" [3:04:53 AM] kool aid: "my last chance is your first chance I want you to take it" [3:05:01 AM] kool aid: I WAS RIGHT [3:05:30 AM] kool aid: "what the girl in the costume??" [3:06:51 AM] kool aid: HES ON THE MIC FOR HER I WAS RIGHT [3:06:56 AM] kool aid: IM A FUCKING TSA AGENT [3:07:04 AM] kool aid: IM A PRO [3:08:17 AM] kool aid: HE SOUNDS SO HAPPY NOW TALKING TO HER [3:09:28 AM] kool aid: Jackson pulled back to speak to her during the race [3:10:12 AM] kool aid: "its important to look the part. you can play dress up all you want but you'll never be one of us" [3:11:26 AM] kool aid: HES SLAMMING HER AGAINS TH E WALL [3:11:31 AM] kool aid: SHE DID DOC'S MOVE [3:11:38 AM] kool aid: SHE FLIPPED OVER HIM [3:11:43 AM] kool aid: SHE WON [3:11:44 AM] kool aid: SHE WON [3:12:25 AM] kool aid: SHES GETTING PRAISE FROM ALL THE OTHER RACERS [3:13:26 AM] kool aid: the sponsor dude who talked shit is trying to be nice now [3:13:30 AM] kool aid: she quit [3:14:14 AM] kool aid: HE ISNT RETIRED THEY CONSIDERED IT A WIN FOR HIM BECAUSE HE STARTED IT [3:14:49 AM] kool aid: he decided to keep racing [3:15:33 AM] kool aid: dinoco from the first movie has made cruz their car [3:16:15 AM] kool aid: THEY GAVE DOCS NUMBER TO CRUZ AND LIGHTNING HAS A NEW PAINTJOB BASED ON DOC'S COLORS HE BLUE NOW [3:16:28 AM] kool aid: AND HONESTLY ITS SO DISTRACTING TO SEE HIM NOT RED [3:16:32 AM] kool aid: THATS IT [3:16:35 AM] kool aid: THATS THE ND [3:16:48 AM] kool aid: FUCK

[viralhottopics]

‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

For this weeks TBT, were going to take a look into the lives of the most influential baby friend group of the ’90s. Im talking, of course, about the Rugrats and, most importantly, how betchy or not betchy each Rugrat is. Is it polite to rank toddlers who have not yet learned to speak based on arbitrary social categories? Probs not. Is it fun? Fucking duh.

1. Cynthia

Heres what we know about Cynthia: 1) Shes a really cool dancer, 2) Shes got cool moves (as long as you move her arms and legs), 3) Shes movin out on the floor, 4) Shes ready to break some eggs (make an omelette Cynthia!) How do we know all this? We know it from her workout tape, which I am shocked has not been sampled by Avicii or Kanye or someone yet (dont listen unless you want this song stuck in your head all day).

Cynthias resting bitch face is on point, and she manages to look great in her belted orange dress despite the fact that she is missing of her hair. Cynthia didnt say or do shit for all 9 seasons of, yet she is still one of the shows most memorable characters, and it is her ability to do no work and remain popular that has earned her the number one slot.

2. Susie Carmichael

Susie Carmichael is cool AF. Did Susie need to appear in every episode? No. Susie had other shit to do. Shell check in every once in awhile to see what the babies are up to, teach them about Kwanzaa and generally let them know whats good, before going back next door to hang with her real friends. Whenever she does come over, the babies flip out because theyre like, obsessed with her (everyone is). Shes also the only person who has absolutely no time for Angelicas bullshit, probably because Susie has better hair, a better outfit, and wears a cool red bangle, which is more than Angelica could ever hope to have. Susie is three, which makes her older and wiser than most of the babies and probably accounts for the sheer lack of fucks she has to give. Did Susie get her ass lost in the woods when Dil was born? Fuck no, she was chilling in Paris getting turnt up with her older sister! Did Susie almost die with the Rugrats in EuroReptarland? No bitch, I just told you shes already been to Paris! Susie Carmichael always comes correct, and thats what earned her the number two spot.

3. Tommy Pickles

Tommy Pickles is the star of the show, which virtually guarantees him betchiness. Tommy also has the whole dressing like a slut thing down and spends all nine seasons of wearing nothing but a crop top and booty shorts. His outfit never stops him from leading his friend group on adventures, and you know once he can talk and operate a phone hed be the person managing the group chat, suggesting what clubs and parties to go to, making sure everyone is getting the free shots they deserve, and seeing you into your Uber at the end of the night. The thing holding Tommy back from the top spot is that hes too fucking nice. Hell let any baby with shit in their diaper come hang with him (cough CHUCKIE cough), and that means his friend group is riddled with duds (HI CHUCKIE). Be a little more discerning about your friend group, Thomas, and maybe well see you up at the top with Cynthia.

4. Angelica Pickles

We cant talk about Cynthia without getting to her BFF and designated Rugrat BSCB, Angelica Pickles. Angelica spent most of torturing the dumb babies (who were really only like a year younger than her) and making them miserable, yet still somehow being invited to all the group hangs, play dates, and brunches. Angelica spends a lot of time telling everyoneincluding the adultshow beautiful she is and is absolutely desperate for attention, probably because her rich AF parents never pay attention to her. Shes your friend who cries and starts shit at the club anytime she feels like shes not the hottest girl there (and she frequently is notthanks Cynthia!) Also girl, lay off the cookies.

5. Charlotte Pickles

Charlotte Pickles is Angelicas mom who is literally always on her phone. Like, always. Even in a time before cellphones could fit in your pocket, Charlotte is always on the phone with her assistant Jonathan (Cheban? We dont know) and ignores basically every member of her family to do so. When phones dont work, Charlotte straight up makes her husbands brother carry a fax machine around so she doesnt miss any important texts. Charlotte alternates between a power suit and workout gear, always accompanied by an Ariana Grande level high ponytail. In , Charlotte displays clear signs of some seriously botched cosmetic surgery, which is what has dropped her down to slot #5. Never try to cut corners on botox, Charlotte! Itll always go wrong. Honestly, Jonathan should have told you that.

6. Grandpa Lou

Grandpa Lou is another character who gives absolutely zero fucks and is down to hang. Much like Corinne, Lou loves naps and often falls asleep halfway through finishing his stories. Despite his old age, Lou is still a fuckboy, and is often seen hitting on women and generally trying to find ways to get laid. If had taken place in 2017, Lou would have definitely had a Tinder and that Tinder definitely would have had a picture of him from 20+ years earlier. Lou is eventually successful in finding a new wife, Lulu, who he moves in with pretty fast after they start hooking up (risky choice, Lou!) Outside of his strangely active love life, Lou also has many frenemies, including his own cousin Miriam; his bowling rival, Billy Strike Maxwell; and some other wrestling guy named Conan McNulty. This proves that when push comes to shove, Lou is just not very popular and kind of an old perv. Sixth place for you, Lou.

7. Phil And Lil Deville

Okay Im sorry, but Phil and Lil are fucking gross. Their diet is a mess, always eating fucking worms and mud and shit. Do you know how many calories are in a ball of worms, kids? Do you? Seriously. There is a episode where Phil and Lil drink straight-up toilet water. What the fuck is that? Is that something babies do? Phil and Lil also have no creativity when it comes to fashion, and instead just dress alike every damn day in greena color that is flattering on exactly 0 people. Their mom is a hardcore feminist, which is cool, but maybe the twins have been empowered to do a little bit too much. Like sure, Lil can do whatever she wants with her life, but maybe eating a giant pile of shit should not be one of those things? Idk. Seventh place.

8. Stu Pickles

Good Lord is Stu Pickles a sad man. Seriously. You have a beautiful house, two healthy babies, a cool Jewish wife who has managed to maintain her pre-baby body, and youre still fucking complaining! Look around, asshole! You have all this shit despite the fact that your dumb ass hasnt invented one successful toy. In fact, you havent even invented one toy that didnt explode and almost kill your entire family. You are literally #blessed but youre too blind to see it! The only thing keeping you from the bottom slot is this meme which, in the current political climate, is legit all of our lives right now:

9. Chuckie Finster

No. Just no. Im sorry, but again, its gonna be a hard pass on Chuckie. Here are all the things Chuckie would have to improve if he ever even wanted to hope to be betchy. 1) His voice, which is terrible. Do you have a cold, Chuckie? Go to the damn doctor. Its the ’90s. Hillary Clinton has passed the State Childrens Health Insurance Plan. You can go to the doctor. Go. 2) Grow. A. Pair. Dude. You know when Chuckie gets older hes gonna be your friend who calls the cops on his own party for getting out of hand. Hes gonna be that guy who side eyes you for doing molly at Coachella, making weird comments under his breath about how you never know whats in that stuff and generally bringing bad vibes despite the fact that Beyonc is literally pregnant and dancing in front of you. 3) The hair is a problem. Comb it. Dye it. Do something. Its a problem. 4) Tie your fucking shoes, dude. 9th place.

10. Chas Finster

There was no character on television from 1991-2004 that was less betchy than Chas Finster. He has all of Chuckies problems, but he is a fucking adult which means he has literally no excuse for being such a narc. Chas seems to be suffering from whatever health problems are affecting his son, and despite being a bureaucrat, apparently has no ability to get his ass to a doctor either. Like many sad old nerds, Chas must travel to a foreign country to find a wife, eventually convincing a way-too-hot-for-him Japanese woman to fly to America and be his Melania. Chas also has a double-Hitler mustache, which is 100% unacceptable, no matter what decade you live in. Sorry, Chas. Last place.

Read more: http://ift.tt/2mavumx

from ‘Rugrats’ Characters Ranked By Betchiness

[samanthasroberts]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

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Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

[adambstingus]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/161120493767

[allofbeercom]

Southern Charm Recap: Flamingo-ing Crazy

Evening, party people. Smiling faces, beautiful places, welcome back to another week of . Lets see what bat shit craziness this week has in store.

Cameran solidifies her role as the unofficial protagonist of the show, narrating the opening sequence (and even saying the word bitch. Well, I do declare!) My familys about to make fun of me for debasing myself by watching this show for yet another week. Suck it, dad, this shits entertaining and makes me feel like a very accomplished adult in comparison to these 35-year-old train wrecks. On a side note, Im kind of getting into this theme song. As an extra side note, my TV is broken and everything is green tinted, which is fitting, I feel.

We open with Thomas on the phone with JD, the former bitching about Kathryn (what else is new?). He rolls up to JDs house and cant even say yes to a cup of coffee without breaking out the French. Ugh, I thought that was a one-episode thing. Thomas apparently told Kathryn he wasnt cosigning her lease (after the whole polo fiasco, if you’ll recall) and she went so nuts that she ended up IN THE HOSPITAL AND MAY HAVE GONE INTO LABOR PREMATURELY. Jesus fucking Christ. So now, what does Thomas do? He agrees to cosign.

JD is like, wait, so you call Kathryn and tell her youre not cosigning, she gets upset, and now youre cosigning anyway because you feel bad for her

JD: I upset my wife plenty of times when she was pregnant but she didnt end up in the hospital over it.

Thomas is like, Wow, everybody was righthomegirl really does know how to manipulate.

Apparently Jennifer is the ultimate shadester, she used to date Thomas and screenshotted everything and sent it to Kathryn just to stir shit up. Taking it a bit far, don’t you think?

Thomas: If I can handle prison for six months, I can handle this bullshit for two more months.

Hold up, like actual prison or just being with Kathryn? Maybe that random Facebook commenter was right and I do need to go back and watch the show from season 1.

Cameran is one of those white people who answers the phone with, Yello! and we promptly learn she was up all night with diarrhea. Gross. Shep goes to watch Craig turn in his application for the bar exam because hes so full of shit that nobody believes him unless they see it with their own eyes. Thats gotta hurt, Craig.

Shep rolls up to good ol Gentry HQ and asks Craig how business is doing. Craig starts talking about some BS I zoned out pretty quick listening to, something about a bourbon side and a hotel side of something.Damn, and youre not gonna let Landon get in on this bourbon business? Thats cold, Craig.

Craig has one more step to nail before he can take the bar, and if he doesnt complete it in time he wont be able to take the test. I feel a setup coming on

These guys are literally arguing over which type of adhesive Craig should use to affix his passport photos to his application.

Cameran meets up with Danni, the roast thief from the earlier episode, and another friend for lunch. One of their friends orders a sweet tea instead of wine and they all jump on her immediately to ask if shes pregnant. Like…a girl can’t order a damn sweet tea in the middle of the day without everyone assuming she’s got a bun in the oven? Cameron is SO OBVIOUSLY not ready to be a mother and these bitches wont leave her the fuck alone about it. Newsflash: This is 2016! Women can aspire to more nowadays than just being a mother. Leave Cameran alone!

Cameran has anxiety too, she reveals, and this show is becoming one giant therapy advertisement. Just goes to show you, money cant solve all your problems. Spinoff idea: What if they all go to the same therapist? Also, Cam’s friend is like, because thats totally a cure for a legitimate mental illness. WTF is wrong with you. What decade do these people live in.

Only 15 minutes in and my fingers are already tired from all this ranting. Gonna be a long episode. Also, wtf happened to Whitney? Is he still alive?

Its finally (almost) time for the flamingo party. Yay! Patricia will be photographing this party for her entertainment book whcih, Im sorry, Im definitely buying. They’re going to have a ros tower and idk what that is, but I know I want one. Patricia is explaining those champagne tower things where you pour the champagne in the top of the pyramid and it spills into all the ones at the bottom and is like, No its not. Its basically 3D beer pong without the balls. Just chill.

Wait ok the Gentry is a hotel?? I feel like an idiot but if they wouldve just explained this shit at the beginning we wouldnt be here. Anyway, Landon and Craig are prepping for the party and going to a spa.

Landon: Part of being a Southern belle is being well-kept, which makes you a good person.

Yeah, maybe on the outside. Im not convinced any of you except Cameran are good people on the inside. And maybeee Craig. He seems pretty earnest.

Craig is aiming for Gatsby-ish pink in terms of outfit color and Landon is like, Im sorry, bitch what? Don’t be over there acting like your Southern asses did not fucking invent salmon pink shorts as a menswear item. Yeah, you THOUGHT you could insult us Yankees.

Jennifer called Craig to let him know Kathryn literally made herself sick and is in the hospital, and he of course feels super bad for her. Meanwhile, Landon does not give one shit!

Landon: Ugh here we go with the drama. People go to the hospital every day. Calm the fuck down.

Okay, people also die everyday, does that make dying any less shitty?

Landon: Did she really almost die? Doubt it. TTYL, DGAF, going to the spa.

Jennifer tells Craig that Thomas didn’t visit Kathryn in the hospital. This detail is important later, so keep it in mind.

Landon: Im tired of Kathryn controlling and manipulating everyone with this child, Im not gonna be manipulated by this psychopath.

Landon literally thinks Kathryn got a slight headache and rushed to the ER. Not sure if this is warranted or not but I’m semi impressed by the fact that she can’t even pretend to be mildly concerned.

We see Kathryn and she explains she basically gave herself such high blood pressure that it affected the baby. IDK how you can personally know what your own blood pressure feels like unless youre constantly taking it, but ok.

Kathryn: All this baby and I need is a stable place to live in a not-stressful environment and if Thomas wont help me get a huge-ass house he doesnt deserve to be in my babys life as far as Im concerned.

Bonus round: Kathryn manipulates Thomas into helping her move, too.

Kathryn: Cosigning on this house is the least he could do for me at this point. YOU MEAN ASIDE FROM THE LIKE $2500 YOU GET A MONTH? YEAH, I REMEMBER THAT FROM LAST EPISODE, IM NOT A FUCKING IDIOT.

Back at Patricias house where shes still setting up for the flamingo party. God damn, they are milking it.

Patricia: I grew up in the 50s. Mothers wore dresses and high heels and had their hair and makeup done. Ive always maintained you have to put on the dog and try to ge as glamorous as you can.

IDK what putting on the dog means but thats gonna be my next getting ready Instagram caption.

Sligthly disappointed there are no real flamingos at this flamingo party. I was definitely holding out for some exotic birds to be present.

Thomas saying yeah, pop that is the most uncomfortable Ive been all evening, even if they are referring to a bottle of wine.

Thomas is setting Landon up with some dude with a ponytail who I feel like is probably her kryptonite since he seem like the type of dude whod call himself an artist, too. Landon also greets everyone with bonsoir. Can we fucking stop pretending we’re European?

Patricia has a fortune teller at her party. What a rager. I am very sad I did not get an invite. Patricia, if youre reading this, I can clean up really well and I wont get belligerent drunk, which is more than I can say of at least half your guests. Hook a girl up.

This is the first/most weve seen of Whitney in like, two weeks. Some girl said hi to Shep and called him babe and I can see the smoke coming out of Landons ears. OMG JUST HIT ON HIM ALREADY, THIS IS SO PATHETIC TO WATCH.

Craig got Patricia this gaudy flamingo-decorated martini glass and Patricia just HAS to drop that she has 18th-century porcelain. Calm down, Patricia, nobody doubts that you have class. You don’t need to be so ostentatious.

Whitney: Trying to watch Thomas flirt with girls is like trying to watch your horny drunk uncle.

YES. SPOT ON. Somebody give Whitney more screen time!

Cameran shows up poss wasted and with a huge flamingo hat. Cameran is me in college, committing to the theme so hard she doesn’t care if she looks ridiculous.

Five seconds into the party, and Shep is already naked and in the pool. Don’t you know this is a classy affair??

Craig confronts Thomas about Kathryns hospital visit and asks if he saw her. Thomas is likeand Craig is like *sips wine*

Shit-starting Jen may or may not be lying about Thomas not going to visit Kathryn. It’s about to get real.

Craig: One of the reasons Thomas hates Jen so much is because she was supposed to be the fun mistress and wasnt supposed to stick around and meddle in his affairs.

THE PLOT THICKENS. Who can we trust? Nobody, really. Everybodys conniving af. Except Cameran. Im really liking her. Can you tell?

Some girl Bailey asked Landon if she and Shep have ever fucked, or even kissed.

Landon: I’m not gonna lie, theres sometimes I wonder if Shep and I could be in a relationship but I dont wanna risk getting hurt.

Landon. OMG. You are more transparent than every Kardashian PR stunt ever. You clearly wonder ALL THE TIME if you and Shep could be in a relationship, why youre not, when hes going to wake up and realize youre the one for him

Shep gets his fortune told and the fortune teller is like and Sheps like and everyones like Shep is just making a bunch of thats what she said jokes like the mature gentleman he is. Landon, you picked a real winner.

The gay dude who visited Kathryn earlier in the first episode (idk his name, go cross-reference my other recap if you really care that much) pulls Patricia aside to be like

Patricia: I think its very unattractive that hes friends with Kathryn Dennis. Its very low-rent to me. (Yes, she actually used the words “low-rent.”)

Dude whose name I 100% forgot: Its very clear what Patricia sees in Kathryn that she doesnt like: she sees herself.

Patricia calls this dude a knockoff Truman Capote. I gotta say, the South has got their shit-talking on point.

Jen shows up and we already know its going to be good. Thomas is not pleased and calls her a piece of trash. HERE WE GO.

Thomas: Tell this chick Im going to throw her in the pool. JD: You dont need another assault charge, homie.

One things for sure: some type of confrontation is about to go down.

JD is talking about doing another polo match. Jen is likeaka,

Thomas is watching Jen talk to Elizabeth and JD and hes just seething over there. FWIW, Elizabeth seems like a very nice woman. Jen does not, really. Thomas pulls Jen aside.

Thomas: Craig told me you told him I didn’t see Kathryn in the hospital Jen: I meant you didnt stay overnight

Cut to: Jen definitely in plain English saying that Thomas wasnt there at all.

Then Jen criticizes Thomas for only being there for two hours. Like, splitting hairs much? Youre just looking for a reason to shit on him.

Jen: If Thomas is criticizing me for putting Kathryns health at risk, he needs to take a long hard look in the mirror and then go play in traffic.

Thomas: A blind person could see through these lies.

They have a lie vs. misunderstanding argument for like 30 seconds before Thomas tells Jennifer to fuck off.

Jennifer: Im the only friend Kathryn trusts. It would be nice if the father of her kids was the other one.

Thomas thinks its Jens mission in life to wreck his life and make him out to be the enemy.

Jen: Im torn between completely cussing him out and telling him how I really feel, or just feeling sorry for him because hes truly delusional.

AKA how I feel watching this show.

Jens like, and Thomas is like And I’m like:

Patricia is not going to like this argument. Very not luxe.

Just when you think punches are about to fly, they both walk away from the argument. Phew, dodged a bullet. Or like, an assault charge.

JD: Thomas and Kathryn have enough problems, Jennifer doesnt need to add to them. This dams gonna break.

Exciting news tidbit: Thomas pronounces water like wooder.

Whats the first thing Jennifer does after being accused of starting drama? She fucking calls Kathryn from the porch of Patricias house! Whitney is like because his mom has to fight his battles. Everybodys gathered to watch while acting like theyre too classy to watch. Jennifer leaves on her own accord, fuck this show for being anticlimactic AF. I wanted an eviction!

Jennifer: I know what Kathryns going through because now I’m the one nobody likes.

Thomas: I can take a lot. Imprisonment, false political allegations, but do not mess with my family. It’s only okay when I treat Kathryn like shit.

Jennifer leaves yelling and once again this show is so fucking anticlimactic! You built up this party for three fucking episodes and what did we get? A heated argument from which both adults walk away on their own accord, and not even one person gets thrown out? Give me some damn drama, give me a fucking cliffhanger! Come on, Bravo! Do better.

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from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/05/27/southern-charm-recap-flamingo-ing-crazy/

[nbafunnymeme]

'Are You The One?' Recap: Hi My Name Is Tyranny And Im An Alcoholic

Hello everyone. I would like to thank my loyal followers for questioning my whereabouts on Twitter. I was actually on vacation, because Im not poor. Sorry, but watching these morons was just not a fucking option. I was zen AF and I dont need Carolinas crocodile tears ruining it, k thx.

ANYWAYS, so onto the episode. It was kind of eh, Im going to be honest. If youre looking for another reason to be annoyed by Giannas existence though, then it def delivered.

AFTER THE MATCH CEREMONY

They are all pumped about getting four beams. In fact, if you took a shot for every time someone said four fucking beams youd need to get stomach pumped four fucking times.

Tyranny is like Ossssssssssssssssvaldo is my match. Honestly can we just cut the accent though? Hes from Chicago for gods sake, not Italy.

Oswaldo is not so sure. Hes like she could be my match! Or she isnt! Yeah, thats pretty much how life works, actually.

Also, can we acknowledge the giant-ass drink Tee has the whole time? That cup is actually my favorite cast member this season.

Carolina and Hayden start having a pillow fight because FOUR FUCKING BEAMS, AMIRIGHT?

Now Carolina is very suddenly into Hayden. Carolinas emotions give me whiplash. Betsy DeVos nomination was more certain than this bitch.

Gianna is like “OH NO. NOT TODAY. I DID NOT LEAVE THE SOUTHSIDE FOR THIS.” Shes like I’M GOING TO CONTINUE TO PURSUE THIS MAN WHO TREATS ME SO WELL. Even though they are a confirmed no match. Makes total sense.

So you unfriend-zoned him to cock block him? Seems v fair. So when you go to sleep, do you leave Haydens balls under your pillow or on your nightstand? Let me know.

*Starts Twitter Poll* Is Gianna hot? Yes or No?

Tyler apologizes to Taylor and is like “I have no excuse for being the ‘big bad wolf’ in this.” So youre eating peoples grandmas now? Very Hannibal Lecter-chic. Not sure Tyler understands that hes referencing a fairytale, but hes pretty so well overlook it.

Hes like these girls are all over me wah, life is hard.

TAYLOR: Im mad *looks at Tylers beautiful face* but Im not like, thatttt mad

Hes like Im not that guy, you know that! Shes like,

TYLER: I want to dump Shannon and date you

EVERYONE AT HOME:

Gianna goes to have a talk with Hayden, which she announces for everyone to know. Shes from the Midwest, okay? Shes not used to this whole having brains thing, cut her some slack!

GIANNA: HEY CAMERA GUY IM GOING TO HAVE A TALK WITH HAYDEN ALSO GIANNA: were very low-key shhhh

Little Mike is like this is bullshit, they are not a match, they need to stop and its like SAY IT LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK.

GIANNA: I dont want to stop you from doing something but stop fucking doing it. (Im not even making that up, thats an exact quote) HAYDEN: But I need to play the game GIANNA: Did I fucking stutter

So Hayden has relocated from friendzone island to being a little bitch island. Need a house warming gift, Hayden? Ill get you crowbar so you can pull your head out of your ass. Youre welcome.

Gianna and Hayden have sex, giving life to the newest Trump supporter Im sure. Carolina sees all of this and is like wtffffff. Shes like, totally in love with Hayden! Like, they spoke for a whole 10 minutes. Didnt that mean anything to him?

Andre is like “IF THEY FUCK THIS UP IM GOING TO BE PISSED” and Im like do it. Get mad. You wont. No balls.

Honestly, Gianna could probs take Andre in a fight. That girl should be a fuckin prison warden.

THE CHALLENGE

The challenge this week is for the dudes. The guys have to spin themselves and then go through an obstacle course. Then they have to shoot a basketball into the hoop of the girl they want to date. The person who shoots the third basketball in the hoop wins the date.

challenges sound like the hazing the gay frats do. Its all v weak.

The guys start the game and are falling all over the place. *plays Ed Sheeran*

Hayden is like, fuck it. Fuck this game. Idfc anymore, Im here for Gianna.

HAYDEN:I love Gianna

ME:

He decides to help Oswaldo win a date with Tee. See heres the thingI like Hayden, but I also think hes being very dumb. Its a hard spot for me rn. Really struggling.

Tee being proud of Oswaldo for winning is like Trump being proud of winning president. We all know he couldnt have won without Hayden/Russia.

Derrick and Joey are trying to win Rush Boobss date. Derrick wants to win because fuck Joey. Theyre shooting for legit five minutes. Seriously, Ive seen better shots from . When is the last time you played basketball? Third grade? Derricks like I played division I basketball! which sounds like an alternative fact to me.

Joey wins. So its Osvaldo/Tee and Joey/Rush Boobs.

Ryan tells them they are going to trapeze and Tee is like Im black, I shouldnt be in the air. How did you get to the Dominican Republic? Drive? Horseback? I didnt know your skin color made you less aerodynamic. I just saw and honestly, Im a fucking scientist now.

BACK AT THE HOUSE

Lets all agree that Tee is low-key alcoholic. Shes constantly sipping from that big-ass cup and it seems like they have a good connection. Could that be her match?

Eddie is talking to Alicia about how he is poor and shes like “LOL not me, cant relate to you peasant.” Eddie, you need to get your ass over to Kam where you fucking belong. Know your fucking place. Do not fuck this up for me, Eddie.

Tyler is trying to break up with Shannon and it is a train fucking wreck. Hes like I need to do the right thing and leave you. He actually stole the whole speech from Gabriella in .

REAL PICTURE OF TYLER:

Shannon is like “I feel dumb.” And she should, because she just got played. I feel bad for Shannon. Her voice makes me want to take a waltz off a bridge, but I do feel things, kind of.

Tylers like I didnt realize girls have feelings and get mad when you treat them poorly. Thats like saying I didnt know when you light shit on fire, it gets hot.

Meanwhile, Tee is very much trying to date rape Osvaldo. Its creepy tbh. If a guy was doing that to a girl on this show I would be dialing 911 by now. Tee, knock it off, it’s super gross.

They go to the boom boom room and literally boom boom because they break something. Oswaldo, way to not hold your ground.

Kam is oiling Eddie up and being goofy. I needed this.

Shes like I know Alicia and Eddy have a good friendship, Im not getting territorial, because this is a game show. I LOVE YOU KAM, I AM STARTING YOUR FAN CLUB. Shes so rational. Everyone be like her please.

THE DATE

Oswaldo is like this date will take our relationship to the next level, even though it already has gone to the next level. *wink, wink* I remember when I lost my virginity. We get it, you had sex.

They go to the trapeze place and Oswaldo is like Hopefully I dont break my neck. Thats a pretty reasonable goal.

They all are like surprisingly good at this. Even Tee, whose blackness surprisingly does not hinder her capabilities. Its a miracle.

Oswaldo and Tee are like being lovey-dovey because they fucked that one time. Hes like shes not trying to rape me and I like this side of her. I too am a big fan of the people who dont try and sexually assault me. Weird.

THE TRUTH BOOTH

Ryan comes in hot and asks about the no matches, aka Gianna and Hayden, still hooking up.

Giannas like HOW IS THIS OUR FAULT??? Uh, youre a confirmed no match and youre hooking up. I feel like Im taking crazy pills. Leave the dumb shit to Rush Boobs, please god.

The house is like, “ugh we hate you, lets just get this shit over with.” Thats how I felt with pledges in my sorority.

Tyranny and Oswaldo go to the truth booth because duh.

OSWALDO: Im excited to learn if were a match and really connect on a deeper level. TEE: Im tryna fuck.

Im stressed because Tee will def die of alcohol poisoning tonight if this doesnt work out. And what do you know, NO MATCH.

Tee was like I was falling in love with him. Shes crying. Hes crying. This is depressing. Did I accidentally sit on the remote and turn on ?

Oswaldo starts boxing while Andre is talking him down and all the guys hug him. Wow, I love the bromance. What I love more is that eventually one of them will try and fight another. #Drama

After everything, Tyler and Shannon are still hanging out. Whats Tylers favorite thing about Shannon? She isnt Taylor. Hes got high standards, ya know? #FourFuckingBeams

Taylor is like youre fucked up. And hes like why, because Im having a conversation?

Ugh Taylor, this paaaaains me to say, because I usually automatically side with the hot girl, but hes low-key right. You need to chill out and move on. Hes not worth it, dude. Hes just not.

Andre asks Taylor wtf shes doing with Tyler and Im like YAS KEEP THIS UP.

Andre is like actually, we like each other, Taylor. And shes like wait, yeah we do. WTF is this Jedi mind control shit Andre has.

ANDRE: *swinging coin back and forth* you are getting very sleepy.. and youre going to fuck me TAYLOR: *eyes glazed* yes, master

He says that she should be a Victorias Secret Model and honestly she should marry him just for that. Like thats compliment of the goddam century.

THE MATCHUP CEREMONY

Its the boys pick tonight. Please note that last time they blacked out harder than Tee does on any given weeknight.

Little Mike gets the ball rollin the wrong way and picks Kam.

Mikes like following our heart doesnt work. Hes like we should venture off, and though thats noble, maaaaaaybe not at the match ceremony. Thats like Michael Phelps being like LOOK FREESTYLE JUST DOESNT WORK right before the 4×100 relay.

Ozzy picks Hannah.

Oswaldo is up next and hes like “I GOTTA DO ME.” He picks Taylor.

Ryan asks Taylor how she feels about Tyler and shes like whos Tyler? Andre and her give each other looks and Im like OKAY YES IM HERE FOR THIS SHIT.

Ryans like Andre, do you wish you were with her and hes like Im practicing my patience. Whatever the fuck that means.

Oswaldo is like standing next to her like, lol just fuck me, right?

Andre picks Casandra.

Eddy picks Alicia and is like this is my homie.

KAM: I AM NOT WORRIED. ARE YOU WORRIED, BECAUSE I AM NOT WORRIED!!! *twitches*

Joey picks Rush boobs.

Derrick picks Gianna. Weird.

Tylers up and fucking moseys up to the front. Goddam hes like a walking Shakespeare playtragically beautiful.

Hes like Ryan, let me speak and Ryans like I didnt even say anything, but ok.

Tyler goes off about how he was painted as the villain and how he is innocent and how all this Taylor shit is fake news and the failing lamestream media is spreading false rumors!!! Sad!

Ryan asks Tyler who he likes more, Shannon or Taylor and Tyler picks Shannon.

RYAN: Do you think Tyler is your match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is Taylor his match? SHANNON: IDK RYAN: Is the world round? SHANNON: IDK

Tylers talking about his breakup with Taylor and is like it sucks because you cant delete people in the real world. This is the first thing that I agree with him on. Dont worry Tyler, Ive watched . Well get to that point someday.

Michael picks KARI. Is it Carrie or KAAAAAARI? I have been saying KAAAAARI. Please DM some confirmation.

Hayden is next. Hayden tells the group that him and Gianna are affecting the game and they are going to stop screwing everyone over.

Gianna is like “WTF. WHO TOLD HIM HE COULD SPEAK? WHO LET HIM OUT OF HIS CAGE?” He picks Carolina. Hehe.

Jaylen and Tee are last. Tee is really bummed about Oswaldo and Ryan is like, “bitch its week four.”

These couples are random AF but idk Im drunk and just here to shit talk. Dont give that much of a fuck.

No blackout, so thats good. They get four beams again. Cant wait to hear them talk about it incessantly.

Read more: http://www.betches.com/are-you-the-one-season-5-episode-4-recap

http://nbafunnymeme.com/nba-news-and-higlights/are-you-the-one-recap-hi-my-name-is-tyranny-and-im-an-alcoholic