#can you start using a signoff? just so i can tell you from the other anons hsgdhs

[op3n-arms]

FIIIIINE!

*Pet pet*

Adorable laugh, darling.

[He seems flustered but accepts the pets regardless, mumbling something ineligibly.]

[panvnsleake]

yapfest warning ⚠️⚠️

uh. note that the names ‘Sunny’ and ‘Kamaboko’ are just given names to those two alter egos/personalities. the little “-🌻” and the “-🍥” are like.... little indicators for which personality slash alter ego is showing currently (it kind of helps me and others know which is which. also what is the real term for those little ‘indicators’ i ned to know please) i actually have no idea where they came from to be honest. i do hide these kinds of things because again, I am very fearful that my irl friends will know everything and see too much before I get a chance to explain. i don't really like them stalking my blog. you guys wouldn't know how much things I would have to say about myself if it weren't for their presence, for they are practically fused to my blog like leeches. anyways. I'm going to start off with ‘Kamaboko’. so they represent the extroverted/more emotional side of myself. this side is only shown around my friends and people I am close with, so technically they are like the mask to the true personality, aka ‘Sunny’. Kamaboko is also the one who is displayed more online, because basically everyone I talk to on there are my friends. i feel very close to some of them, so most of the time i genuinely feel happy. so Sunny on the other hand, represents the more introverted, quiet side of myself. very shallow emotions. like this side only occurs to me when I'm not around anyone familiar and I'm just there. or, this side is hidden beneath Kamaboko’s side, sometimes becoming too much to where it’s just ‘Sunny.’ for example, like that fight me and my mother had on Thursday (?). tmi but after she punched my arm in the car, its like all the strong emotions faded into shallow ones, and I refused to speak to her. all I did was just nod, and let her yell at me. (plus all she was ranting about was just how much of a disappointment slash failure I am. yes, mother. i get it. i really do. this is regular so atp I just feel nothing.) this also was a similar thing that happened at the ‘catbox fight’ yeah I think you remember that. 

There are also other situations that Sunny and Kamaboko take part in, without me knowing. sometimes when I'm talking to my friend, they tell me that I'm acting ‘too much’, and then for the rest of the day, they are annoyed/angry at me, thus having half of myself feeling like shit and then the other half is just “meh.” or in other cases, like talking with my other friend, it feels quite the opposite, like they’re the one whos being too much, and then they think im mad at them after i address that fact. its also the tone/expressions i use when im speaking too. sometimes my parents get angry because they think im getting attitude by just simply having a slight frown on my face or just talking with a tone that lacks emotion, which i barely notice. other times, they also get angry because im being too hyper or i just ‘talk too loud or too much’ randomly. this also kind of messes up things between me and my boyfriend, which i dont wanna talk about. i havent talked to him in a while because im so so busy. its not like were in a fight i do live him, really. but the stuff i said and did around him is all kamaboko’s fault, and i never noticed.

anyways excuse the yapfest. im not going to be super duper sure that I am a system buuut yeah. lmk if you think otherwise. i personally think it feels right. can you also drop some terms and their meanings that relate to this? okayyy bye skedadles away (also ignore random inconerencies because i wrote this and overlooked it 3 times)

OKAY so. the indicators are often called "signoffs". for example, my signoff is🥤. juliens signoff is 📻.

headmates are the members of the system. a system, also called a collective, group, etc., is all the headmates as a whole. often systems will name themselves as a group. we are the Pastry system.

sometimes headmates are called alters, parts, ((outdated)) personalities, etc. its also common for headmates to have roles or things they excel in. i, bryce, am the protector, meaning i make sure the system and especially pancake stay stable.

the core is the headmate that is most connected to the "vessel" (this is our personal name for the physical body). in this system, pancake is the core. i believe some systems can lack a core though.

the host is similar to the core. this is the headmate that takes care of most tasks and/or fronts the most. personally, id consider myself the host.

fronting is when a headmate is present and interacts with the world. basically, they're in control. its kind of like all the head mates are in the backstage and one comes to the front, hence the name. for example, i, right now, am fronting. when multiple headmates come to the front, we call it co-fronting.

and, uh...my memory is kind of weak, so I'll just drop a website you can look in if you're interested. -🥤

[skeletwinsauaskbox]

No idea if this will still reach the right people, but worth a short

A note appears in front of Lento

Lento, mind sending this through the rift?

"To: Fang and Stuffie (if this is not received by them please attempt to send it to their universe)

Things have been. Happening over here, some other skeletwins variants, Lolli and Giggles, visited, they mentioned they planned on visiting your universe at some point, that happen yet?

Then there's this whole thing with Lento. He made a 'soul scanner' (neat stuff I think), but something went wrong when he used it on Presto. Now Presto's stuck in his soul (for the moment, but I think he'll be out soon.)

You should try and visit sometime, if you can. You guys are cool.

Hope you're doing well.

I think I'm supposed to put a signoff here, but I don't really have a name so here's a drawing of a cowboy hat instead."

*a crayon drawing of a cowboy hat is at the bottom of the page*

hello.

the cowboy is very cute. i'm sure my brother would love it.

anyway, thanks for catching us up on the events. in return, it's only fair that we share our experiences with you. so here goes.

since my brother and i started helping fang and stuffie, things have been stable. sure, they were a mess when we first arrived (mainly stuffie, but fang wasn't much better), but now they're doing well. they even had their first real clients. a group of teenagers who picked with the wrong guy. all we had to do was give them a place to hide and cool down. they were pretty hesitant at first (maybe even a bit aggressive, which set fang off), but they came around once they saw the mushblobs. they even said they'll come back tomorrow. so i'd say it was a success.

giggles and stuffie seem to be getting along really well. they're both comic sanses so it makes sense. it was kind of sad to see a comic sans refusing to laugh, though, at least at first. giggles tried to tickle him, but stuffie's reflexes are... let's just say they were sharp. i guess we will just have to wait to gain their trust a bit more before we can give them that level of affection. giggles has a bandaid on his nasal cavity now.

meanwhile, i put my energy into trying to befriend fang. he's remarkably friendly for a fell papyrus, trust issues notwithstanding. though i guess his trust was a little easier to gain. maybe it's because we share the same face. outside of the scars, of course. his scars are healing well from what i can tell.

anyway, that's it. i'll have giggles write to you soon.

smell ya later - lolli

[protectingtulpas]

Hi!

We have a few questions for you!

First, is it possible/normal for tuplas to start responding verbally almost immediately? My tuplas Jax & Jasmine were accidentally created when I was 12, and from what I can tell they started talking almost immediately, but were pretty undefined as people.

Second: Do you have any tips for learning to co-front and how we can learn to switch who's fronting? We have a final goal of functioning multiplicity with mutually beneficial fronting to help with daily life, but aren't sure how to start.

All three of us are interested or curious about learning to co-front/switch fronts & I, the host am mainly the one curious about our first question.

-💜🔗 (we'll probably be back so here's our signoff)

Yo! I'm gonna combine these two asks into a singular one since it's way easier. I'm gonna answer things bottom-up since the second one gives more context 👍

So there's a lotta crossover between paragenic systems and tulpas, which makes a lotta sense because it's really similar in the how you're starting with a non-autonomous concept of a person that then gains autonomy & awareness for themselves. Especially with unintentional tulpas, there's really a thin line between em. From what we know, most paragenic systems call their members paratives: "a member of a system that was originally a para. The development of a para into a parative is unique to neuronarrative plurals, immersive daydreaming plurals, or systems that have Maladaptive Daydreaming Disorder." Which means that it's kinda up to you what you feel like; if it seems like your system members used to be paras and then turned into full system members, then you might like paragenic more; but if ya feel like tulpamancy terms and concepts fit wirh you better, then go ahead and use that one! Labels are just things ya use to describe yourselves, is all.

And here's the secret part: you can still use tulpamancy techniques if you're of another origin! A lot of it is writtwn for previously-singlets that don't have any dissociation problems, so you gotta know yourself best when you go into looking into this stuff with a dissociative disorder, but it's still super useful for a lot of people. Fronting/switching/possession guides are the reason I'm able to front at all, plus maybe our non-tulpas too 👍 What helped me a ton when I was first starting was trying partial possession first- the first part of the body I ever controlled was the voice, actually!

For your last question, it's not super unusual for different tulpas to hit different points of development/awareness/personhood at different times. For some people the awareness comes first and then the emotions and then the mindvoice communication, but for others it can be in a buncha different arrangements. My guess with amateur-knowledge on MaDD is: the fact that you daydreamed with your proto-headmates primed them to be able to respond with their mindvoice way easier, while they were still developing a sense of self behind it.

Lots of fronting/possession guides to use:

- Possession Explained

- Possession via Dissociation

- DJFlix on Possession (this one is based in visualization and colors; good for ppl with vivid imaginations)

- Possession: By a Tulpa for Tulpas (hell yeah tulpa made resources)

- Parallel Processing and Switching

- Malfael's guide to switching (in-depth, awesome)

- So you wanna switch? Do you, really? Might be able to help with that. (Written by a DID system)

- Controlled switching (a few short intentional switching methods)

- Sophieinwonderland's ghost switching method (short)

[a-gilded-imprisonment]

((any tips for starting an rp blog?))

(Mod Minie's rp tips and tricks!

I have quite a few tips, but of course, they don't work the same for everyone. Feel free to use only what you think is necessary!

~ First of all, most definitely do make guidelines. Make the rules clear for people who will be doing rp with you, and respect their boundaries in return. It's most definitely okay to tell others you will not be discussing nsfw topics even if you are not a minor. I've just found that having rules is a nice way to set your boundaries and to avoid incidents easily. I have a rulelist in my intro post, and if you'd like to borrow it or interpret it into your own words or adapt it to fit your needs, then by all means!

~ If your rp blog is a sideblog, send your asks on anon, naturally. But no matter what kind of asks you send, it can be useful to tag your url as a signoff so that when the other person answers your ask, you get a notif from the tag.

~ One of the most "obvious" tips is to have different symbols or font styles for different parts of your rp. Every system is different, and none are expected to be alike. For example, many people use brackets ( ) for when they are speaking out of character, and quotation marks " " for when characters speak. I like to use italics and asterisks * * for my muses' actions, but there are many other ways to do so. Don't be afraid to be creative, as long as the difference is clear to identify.

~ Another tip is to slowly make yourself comfortable in the rp community you're in. Don't be afraid to talk to other moderators because most of them are really great people! This is also a skill that will come in handy later if you need to discuss the conditions for a rp thread or about doing rp for a certain ship together.

~ This is not necessary at all, but I highly recommend making tags. Whether it's to separate your asks from your reblogs, to sort interactions with certain other characters, or to identify your anons, tags are super useful for being able to organize your threads. As some people might not want to see the rp threads that get very long on their dash and instead want to see asks, that way other people can benefit from your tag system too by either following tags or blacklisting as they need. Also-- as a person who like showing some of my rp to other people, the tags are handy for me, too.

~ If possible, find a mod with a masterlist for your rp community. In my case, @/dr-ratio-official holds the HSR masterlist :) It can make it easier for people in your community to find you and to interact!

Mod Minie's rp advice!

These next ones are not tips, necessarily, but I find them incredibly important to know, especially if you're a beginner.

~ There is no rush. Rp doesn't have a time limit, and most other mods will be thankful they get a response from you at all and do not mind waiting from a few days to a month. Please do not let anybody pressure you into answering an ask or into replying to a thread when you do not have the energy. Rushed rp might not always be in character.

~ Don't worry about picking a character somebody else has roleplayed for! Picking a new character can be a handy choice to integrate into a community and to make yourself known, but you should only rp as muses you like! Don't worry if you share the same muse as other mods, just have fun!

~ Don't be afraid to have headcanons for your muse! You don't need to run around trying to prove it's true or get it approved officially. If your headcanons apply to your interpretation of your muse, so be it! If it bothers other people, that will be their choice to avoid interactions or not. In fact, I've often seen other mods agree with headcanons lsagdkagskf

~ Do not feel forced into discussing topics you do not want to discuss, whether in character or out. If you get an ask you'd feel uncomfortable answering, just delete it. It's easier and much less stressful.

~ Do not feel guilty about having favourites or about being someone's favourite, if your muse (or someone else's) has several mods who rp as them. Of course, certain people will have bias towards certain interpretations of characters. Some mods like doing more multi-paragraph rp, and will tend to interact more with certain mods who rp a muse versus other mods who rp the same muses. It's the same thing for more silly, less serious rp! It all depends what style you like, and I'm sure you'll find wonderful people who you enjoy doing rp with :)

~ Make sure your rp community (whomever you choose to interact with) is a safe and fun space for you and others! Do not be afraid to speak up if something makes you uncomfortable, and do not feel badly for cutting off interactions with a specific mod or anon if they do not respect your rules or begin to harass either you specifically or somebody else.

~ Lastly, just have a blast. That's what rp is for, bringing joy to yourself and others, as well as growing closer to your muse(s)!

I'm so glad you asked me for advice ahaha it makes me feel more experienced than I am! I hope this helps :) ~ Mod Minie)

[dazzle-writes]

Hey! I saw you had match up open and I almost jumped for you seeing trigun on that list and I practically ran to your asks to send this.

So obvious I'd like a trigun match up (any type/timeline is fine) and possibly headcanons!

I am a adult male and I have albinism. I have purple/pink eyes, white really messy hair and pale skin. I am the holder of adhd and autism and love to collect random trinkets like rocks, feathers or just like a fistfull of moss and keep it. I'm a pretty lone liver and like to have my own quiet time but I seek out people who can respect my boundaries in when I do and don't want to be touched, be around noise or people. I am a gardening student and I love learning about different flora and plants and what good they do in gardens or forests or how they can be used as simple remedies like sore throaths or headaches. I like to travel and hike but at nights I like to just take a moment to breathe and adore the surrounding. Also I'm a big fan of cuddling even tho I'm not a fan of much touching, cuddling is for the level 10 friendship only. Idk what else to put here but sorry if there is writing mistakes, English is not my first language and I'm super excited

- Moon

(Don't worry I also saw the second ask!!)

omg I've been WAITING to see someone I could match up with my pookie tristamp Knives and its YOU!!!

~I think you'd both stare at each other for a few long seconds and he's internally going "Is that me? Is that my reflection?" because he has never seen a human with albinism before!!! Your relationship definitely starts out more clinical, he wants to observe you a lot because he lies to tells himself that since you're so different, you must be used in the doctor's experiments!!

~he takes one look at your eyes and goes "Nope, this one is Mine To Observe" and tells people its because you look so much like a Plant he wonders if you have any Plant heritage. Nobody believes him, but who's going to call Knives out? He wants to learn EVERYTHING about you, and also understands the need for quiet time. Sometimes he will just. Stand and leave. Because he needs a break.

~Loves learning about autism from you

~Quickly learns that he has autism from this very fact

~(I see you say "holder" and have a signoff so I'm assuming you're part of a system!! If that's not true then pardon my ignorance!!) You explain to him what D.I.D. is and what you hold and he goes "what" and immediately needs to leave and process. (If you tell me more about others alters I'll make a part two with how he interacts with them!! ;).) He comes back with a million questions which makes you need a break and just. Its a long game of phone tag with the Tism Social Timer.

~When you explain what flora is and that you are a gardening student, it's all over. He falls right then and there. Hard. And in denial.

~He does mess up a lot, so be patient with him!! He is navigating so many new territories with you and his own emotions.

~Always speaks softly to you, but his tone is always stern.

~Will occasionally just. Stare. He likes looking at you.

~Introduced you to his sisters and god they thought you were one of them. I hc that Plants make noises like birds or dolphins but smoother and softer and the just are like OwO?!?! Is he one of us?!?! And they chirp at you and freak you out a bit.

~Knives is very touch starved but also cannot stand touch if not with someone very close. He loves to lie with you in bed and hold pinkies.

~His face is always kinda neutral? Don't take it personally.

~He kinda starts slowing down on his violence once he meets you, and just steals plants and leaves instead of Murdering Everyone, but starts to collect little things for you because of your crow-habits.

~Once yall are close enough, he cuddles you in his blade snuggie. He loves leaning up against the bedframe with you on top so he can put his head on your head.

~Possesive of you when you aren't around. If someone mentions you he eithers threatens them with bodily harm for being close to you or begs commands them to tell him what they know about you.

~Is not unreasonable, if someone talks to you/touches you without knowing you are taken and you correct them he gets butterflies because omg you like him so much and you only wanna be his-

~If they disrespect your boundaries? Game over. They become the doctors newest subject.

nsfw!!!!

~This hoe is a big ass VIRGIN

~Eveyone is always like "omg hes so top and dom and sex god" Knives has never seen a human penis in his life and has no clue what to do.

~Very clinical and experimental at first!! Like slearning what works for you both

~It would please him greatly if this man can cockwarm pLEASE LET HIM-

~no noise except for gasps and asking questions

~Medium sex drive, but never initiates. Always teases that you humans are so "carnal" and only he can truly make you feel like this.

~Surprisingly talkative? He'll be telling you about his day and jerking you off at the same time. There's a pop quiz at the end. Once he gets more into sex and anything kinky he will punish you if you don't answer correctly.

~Gets more playful once he gets intimate like that. Occasionally grabs your ass and just??? Walks away???

~Starts to wear his blade snuggie more because his body is for YOU babes.

~Plant genetalia is weird because he has? Both? And it all glows?

~Definitely has glowing cum.

~Plant do have a mating cycle where they go through "Blooming" season. Gets really clingy and irritable from Plant hormones, so be gentle with him.

AHHHHHH I hope you enjoyed!!!!!!

[whysojiminimnida]

Free Jungkook from your homophobia, more like.

Homophobic hateful behavior. That’s what it is when a man is telling you out loud who he loves and you’d rather deflect, avoid, deny and invalidate. You’d rather scream at his employer, hate his lover, and call him a liar than listen to the man you say you love. You’re wrong. It’s wrong. No argument you have is valid at this point. You believe him or you choose to deny him on the basis of your prejudice against him. That’s it. When people choose to actively denigrate, invalidate and hate on an individual due to their perceived or obvious sexual orientation and/or choice of partner, those people are not fans. Those people are by definition haters, antis and bullies. You are perpetrating homophobic abusive bullshit on two men who have done nothing but love you, entertain you and work for you and you should be ashamed of yourselves.

Does Jungkook need to be freed from shippers? I mean, it wouldn’t hurt to free him from Taekook when he has explicitly said they’re not close like that. It wouldn’t hurt to free him from Jinkook hard shippers who don’t understand platonic love vs. sexual love. But really neither of those or any other ships really give Jungkook much lost sleep, I don’t think. He’s not worried about y’all because guess what? Toxic TKKers aside, y’all affect his personal life about zero percent of the time. Idol training prepares these men – all of them – for shipping, for fan interaction and fanservice, for the duality of image they are expected to present. That duality is a learned skill, kids. The level of camera intrusion into a successful idol’s life is insane and they are taught how to handle that and what to show the public with the assumption that everything will always be shown to the public. Are exceptions made? Of course. All the time. Editing does happen. Some stuff gets left on the floor. We freak out when things make it to the public without taking into consideration the number of people it takes to sign off on those decisions. That’s why moments like Rose Bowl and 2018 MAMA are so major – there wasn’t time to edit those things. They were caught live and available globally within moments of their capture. But Hickeygate and They Look Exceptionally Close Today and Neck Stroke Holiday Dynamite were crafted products deliberately shown to us by BigHit/Hybe, in packaged products. Hell they reclaimed Rose Bowl and stuck it in DVD format and you don’t think that was a calculated move? Read that again – they CHOSE TO SHOW US THIS. DELIBERATELY. WITH SIGNOFFS ON MULTIPLE LEVELS AND ARTIST/MANAGEMENT INPUT. ONE MORE TIME IN THE BACK THEY DID IT ON PURPOSE THEY ARE NOT HIDING THIS IS AS OUT AS WE ARE GONNA GET WITHOUT A SEX TAPE OR A WEDDING VIDEO.

BUT some fans are stupid and some of us – a distressing number -  are violently and virulently anti-LGBTQ+.  And before you start the “my brother is gay don’t” I CAN AND I AM BECAUSE YOU ARE. You may love your gay bro. Hell you might be gay yourself – internalized homophobia is real. But let’s face it – if your problem is that Jungkook is being shipped with Jimin then why is that a problem?  What makes you mad we gonna call out an actual admitted hickey from the giggling-ass involved adult parties? Why is making a hickey a romantic, sexual thing wrong? BECAUSE TWO DICKS ARE INVOLVED AND YOU ARE NOT. That’s why, kids. And not just any dicks. His dick and yep, his dick too and guess what, hard-ons happened and were likely dealt with as a result JUST LIKE IT GOES ON A REGULAR BASIS. A neck mark like that is clear evidence of sexual activity and that is what has your homophobia acting up. Because whether you admit it or not you know exactly what it means. And why you might be fine with it being with a girl JUST NOT WITH JIMIN. Denying it with “my brother does it to me” makes you look like a liar or an incest victim and I hope for your sake it’s the former. Making it a cover for a girl just makes you gross in your str8 agenda and I hope you choke on it. Does Jungkook even find women attractive? I haven’t seen evidence of that – I’ve seen more of that from Jimin, actually – but he might. Very well could. Bisexuality and pansexuality exist and as a member of the latter community it’s more common than you think. But Jungkook openly and clearly finds men – one man in particular – more attractive than anyone else. He is absolutely, most assuredly doing the sexy gay sex with one Park Jimin whether you like it or not. Is now, has been for at least four or five years, possibly longer. Stan a man who believes in true love and a long term relationship, it’s healthy for everyone. Good for you. Free Jungkook. Free Jungkook from dumbass homophobic bullshit. Free him from people who don’t love and support him and his orientation and his relationship. Free him from everybody except Park Jimin because they have a date to go to the moon, a deserted island, and their own damn bed without us. And after all this I hope they do.

[thedreadvampy]

I don't want to respond to this directly in a reblog bc it doesn't really have to do with the content of the rest of the post (which is great, by the way! I'm really happy that things are going well on an artistic side and your work is lovely!) but this aside has me feeling some kind of way.

I don't think it's a fair characterisation to say the mechanisms 'misinterpreted' the universe of Doctor Carmilla, because it isn't really the same universe. The continuity between Doctor Carmilla & The Mechanisms and The Mechanisms as a standalone band seems to me to really be legacy only, and to the degree that Carmilla is mentioned in-universe it's an acknowledgement of the band's origins, not an attempt to write a Carmilla story. Seems to me like it wouldn't be appropriate for the Mechanisms to write stories about Doctor Carmilla and the universe Maki developed in her absence, nor would it be fair to pretend Maki never existed or that Carmilla wasn't deeply involved in the foundations of the Mechanisms universe.

like if you approach the Mechanisms and Doctor Carmilla as one unified story led by Maki then sure, it comes across like the Mechanisms misinterpreted ideas and dropped threads. But that's...not what it is? They're two separate stories with a common root. Maki hasn't been involved in writing with the Mechanisms since 2011 and the band finished in 2020 - in almost a decade with different people writing, a good number of whom weren't even involved with the Doctor Carmilla era of the Mechanisms, yeah, it isn't the same entity and I don't think that the Mechs have ever acted like it's meant to be? Doctor Carmilla is Doctor Carmilla and the Mechanisms are the Mechanisms and they exist in separate universes with some crossover points - that seems to me to be the best approach?

Like, it would be valid to say that the Mechanisms misinterpreted Carmilla's universe and character if they had ever written stories about Carmilla or about the ideas Maki had for her story. but they.... haven't? ever really done that? They've written stories featuring Carmilla, which is really kind of an acknowledgement that the band started with Maki, but only really in apocrypha or performing songs developed with Maki as far as I can tell? and beyond that when they've introduced new characters or story elements they've avoided going back over ground that would mean reinvolving Carmilla without Maki's input. bc from what I've seen they're pretty careful about not writing stories About Other People's Characters without getting substantial input and signoff from those people.

I don't really know the precise circumstances in which Doctor Carmilla and the Mechanisms became two separate entities - that's a wee bit before my time - but my impression was that nobody pushed anybody out or was cut out, that it was all pretty amicable, and that the Mechanisms wanted to perform more and Maki was going in more of a solo direction so they went on performing separately. I have no idea if that's a correct impression (and I'm happy to be corrected if not) but either way it's not abandoning a character to carry on without them when the person who played them is no longer involved, and it's not misinterpreting or abandoning an idea to build your own thing on the foundation it's set. I like both the universe Maki's made for Doctor Carmilla and the universe the Mechanisms made for their stories, they don't need to be in competition and there doesn't need to be One True Correct Canon, especially since Maki has continued making really great work on Doctor Carmilla's story without the Mechanisms. They can and should just be separate entities, that's allowed.

(and this isn't a go at you, btw, this is just like I've heard this take a few times and it seems like a pretty uncharitable interpretation of how creativity works. The Mechanisms are allowed creative ownership over their own universe - they were working with Doctor Carmilla for under a year and they've been developing stories together for the better part of a decade and it seems like a pretty unfair approach to all involved to cast that as a shadow of Doctor Carmilla's universe as if the only way you're allowed to keep using the same band name is if you follow exactly the preordained narrative of someone who hasn't been part of the band for years. Doctor Carmilla as a story and a character has certainly changed and developed over time, musically and narratively, and that's good! That's as it should be! so I don't know why the Mechanisms' narrative universe not being the same as it was when they were ...And The Mechanisms is sometimes framed as a bastardisation of Maki's work rather than like. an evolution and development of their own creative voice and stories)

Like. Assuming that we agree that it's good that the Mechanisms existed post separating from Carmilla and went on to make new music and write new stories, how would that do this in a way that wasn't a 'misinterpretation' and/or 'abandonment' of Carmilla's story? Either you have to try and tell Carmilla's story, which would be inevitably a 'misinterpretation' because. They're different people. And it would be pretty inappropriate to try and tell the same story as Maki wanted to tell without her and potentially have two versions of the same story competing. Or you do what the Mechs did in practise, and largely leave Carmilla's story and the surrounding universe for its creator to play with and go ahead and make your own thing with its own universe and rules that won't impact on the story they obviously want to build for their own character and world. You can characterise that as 'abandonment' but I'm not sure what the better option is then, other than just Nobody Who Has Ever Made Anything Involving Doctor Carmilla Can Ever Do Anything With The Characters They Made For That. like. It seems like the only alternative to keep creating with those characters (which, again, people developed as onstage personas for themselves) that couldn't be called a misinterpretation or an abandonment of Maki's original vision is like, to only ever do anything with Maki in charge, which is a pretty big limitation to put on a band, especially if I'm right in my understanding that they parted ways because Maki wanted to take a different approach to her work that didn't heavily involve the Mechanisms, so would she even have had the time, capacity or interest to lead on a whole other project alongside her own work back in 2011? When people have this take that the Mechanisms were somehow disrespectful of Maki's story by not just telling Maki's story and instead making their own thing, I just have to ask like what exactly is the alternative version where the Mechanisms make their own creative work with their own creative voice in a way that isn't either reinterpreting or moving away from the Doctor Carmilla story?????

[clumsyclifford]

i guess i should start keeping an eye out for those sentences although i think the point is that i will be naturally drawn to them so who knows what will happen lol i did take a break from making the jane bordeaux playlist to make the middle school emo playlist of my dreams because i didnt listen to that music in middle school but currently there is something calling me toward mcr and i must follow it but i will get back to it soon (1/?)

and in the meantime i will search for more hebrew artists most of the ones i know are either older or for children because my hebrew prof would play us music but it was hebrew 2 and none of us understood anything so we would have to listen to children's music but some of it really did slap!!! (2/?)

i will also admit something about kar kar and it is that you are right it might just be me but her voice is so high like they sound good together but i dont like hers as much by itself its still gorgeous though wow ha'ahava hazot shelanu...a true work of album art!!! the pillow thing is nice i did it with slow niall horan songs one time and felt very soothed it is one of those things where you sorta have to believe in it a little bit and like play into it ya know but i still like it (3/?)

let the snakes have bread!!! a. tashlich is more important and b. those snakes are already poisonous might as well make them a lil gluten-y too im still pretty sure that it was you but youre right the tumblr search is horrible and i think it works only 2.7% of the time which is not enough for my jewish 5sos needs (4/?)

okay i am gonna come off of anon for jewish geography because we are very close to doxxing ourselves but i still wanna solve the mystery however i also wanted to do this one more time so i can keep using my signoff because ive never had one before and i think its cute:))) (5/5) - שירים

oh my god you’re starting on mcr NOW??? that is super bold i never listened to mcr and i still don’t i don’t want to i feel absolutely no attraction to that music it is Not My Thing like some of it is individually fun but it’s really not for me altogether so more power to ya however i can tell you that madam helen @calumcest and miss ainslee @ashesonthefloor are both big mcr fans and i know ainslee at least would LOVE to discuss mcr with you i don’t know if that means anything to you but there you go. my mcr fan connections

im putting the rest of this under a cut bc of yeah its long <3

that is fair enough i should also go in search of more hebrew artists we will have to keep each other updated. yes sometimes.......songs........Don’t need features. no offense to the lady her voice is very nice it’s just Wrong

omg....slow niall songs.......god falling asleep to like flicker or san francisco or still or dear patience please thats actually SO lovely i love that for you that sounds so pleasant

poison the snakes challenge

hey man even after you’re off anon you can slide in here as shirim anon as many times as you want i think it’s super cute i love having an anon with a hebrew sign off so very much so yeah you’re always welcome

[icarusthelunarguard]

This Week’s Horrible-Scopes

Sorry I’ve been a little Hit-or-Miss recently. Things have been... difficult at home. BUT.. here you go, finally!

Aries 

“Consultation” is a big, fancy word for, “checking with people to see what they think about a topic”. In other words, “Asking For Help”. It worked for Captain Picard, it can work for you - so shave your head and go ask people for help.

Taurus 

You woke up this morning thinking you had to do something meaningful, something grandiose, something epic…. That was just the dream talking to you. Next time try to control the dream and you can live out your fantasy of being The Greatest American Hero; just… not cancelled.  

Gemini 

Life is not a destination; it’s a journey with twists and turns and tunnels and road runners all over the place. Did you drive into that road runner painted tunnel and go all acordeon-y? You’ve now discovered that your life is at the mercy of Termite Terrace; meaning every bad thing that’s ever happened to you was because someone thought it was funny. 

Cancer 

People who tell you, “nobody can hold you down but yourself” have obviously never been on a fourth date with you. Until you get to that point, keep all your purchases from “Bill and Debbie Majors” out of sight.

Leo 

Two words for you Leo: ROAD TRIP! Blow out the dust on your CD-Drive, get out your copy of Encarta, and pick a destination to drive to. You can start with the studios where Beakman’s World was filmed! Sadly you’ll have to deal with another two words that plagued Lester The Rat all the time: Air Pressure. Your tires are all flat from not having used the car in so long. Guess it’s 70’s game show reruns and microwave popcorn this week…. again.   

Virgo 

When you find yourself in times of trouble, Mother Mary will come to you in a dream, speaking words of wisdom, like… “Khül - ee - gee - rei”? She was Mongolian, we don’t know what she said either.

Libra 

You’ve been two-timing us for job placement, haven’t you, Libra? Going to work at the Arecibo Radio Observatory, aka The Movie Set For The 1995 James Bond Movie ‘Golden Eye’ is one thing. But being so upset when the fan-made N64 Golden Eye game got cancelled that you trashed the place…. That was a little overkill. You might want to take the week off.

Scorpio 

Antihistamine drugs are supposed to help people with allergic reactions - they calm down the body’s immune response, usually making people drowsy in the process. But there is a small number of people who instead get wired like they’re on cocaine. 

Sagittarius 

Let’s face facts, Sagittarius; that Sanyo 8 Transistor Allwave Radio is not going to impress anyone. The fact that you know the wavelength for the Shortwave and Medium Wave bands it picks up will only get you one response from people. “NERD!!!” At least the 9-Volt Battery in it still works. Go ahead, taste the terminals.  

Capricorn 

We warned you last week not to be a lazy liar, and you came through for us all. Good job! Some of us were worried you’d just fall back on your old standard lies, but you got creative, so we’ll give credit where credit is due. (Hey, guys? I don’t think they’re buyin’ it. Who do I owe money on this bet?)

Aquarius 

(Don’t worry, we’ll just put the money in the kitty for the end-of year staff pizza party.) We know pizza is a sacred commodity to you. You would never sully it with things like ‘pineapple’! Just remind people that Fruit Doesn’t Belong On Pizza and you’ll have people so confused they’ll HAVE to agree with you!

Pisces 

Sorry to screw with you like this, but it’ll make sense as the week goes on: Hi-5 was a pre-school kid’s show from Australia, whose logo was a cartoon hand. High C’s are best heard from Maynard Furguson’s Trumpet, not from inside a boat, and definitely should NOT be drunk from a box. And last, all those image files you have hidden on your work computer under “C - Documents And Faxes - Documents - 2018 Reports - Financial Signoffs - McMillan Building Fiduciary - Excel Sheets”? Yeah, I.T. knows about those. The only way you’re getting back into a new job will be to move to Australia, pinch pennies by drinking Hi-C fruit boxes, and learning to play the trumpet in a band, ‘cause your finance job days are over.

[lethalneuroses]

femslash february day 8

@nexstrik requested Symmbra, and here are some vaguely Symmbra-ish words!

The first messages are not unusual. She does not like to draw attention to herself, but Vishkar likes to flaunt their talent, and she is nothing if not talented. She appears at conferences and gives demonstrations and, of course, works on the ground. Vishkar’s networks utilize state-of-the-art security, but those smart and determined enough will always find a way.

Disturbing and lustful, most of the messages are. She forwards all of them to the appropriate channels to be blocked or dealt with and then deletes them from her own devices, but she can’t forget them. No matter how many there are, each one privately horrifies her. She does not understand how people can think and say such things to others, even with the comfortable medium of faceless communication over networks and distance. What has she done to warrant this?

During the company’s operations in Brazil, death threats become common, almost as common as the other kind. Anonymous people call her a monster, though of course they never use such a delicate word as that. She reads them all and feels like something inside herself is twisting and dying. She does not tell Sanjay how it makes her feel, because the response is obviously to just feel less. To harden herself. To become like the hard light she manipulates with such ease.

So when she receives the quick succession of messages, she thinks little of them.

dyk what Vishkar’s really up to?

s korpal has skeletons in his closet

keep it up and you will too.

xoxo साया

She forwards them to Security, and she deletes them, and she forgets them. They are tame compared to the others, and that is the only thing that sets them aside.

But they don’t stop coming, no matter how many times she forwards them to Security and Security assures her the problem is resolved. The messages reach her account again and again, always signed the same. They are never threatening, never outwardly aggressive in the way the others are. That almost makes them more concerning. Someone wants very badly to reach her, and for what? They echo the rhetoric she heard in Brazil and from critics around the world. They don’t understand what she or Vishkar is doing.

But it has been almost a year now, and she is very very curious, and she wants an answer. So she ventures to a café where the internet’s traffic is not scrutinized by her employers, and she drafts a response to the latest disposable email account.

You do not understand me or my work. Your allegations are unfounded and unwanted. I know what I am doing, and I know that it is helping the world.

S. Vaswani.

It is not even an hour later that she receives a response.

damn, you really are a true believer, aren’t you

you’re smart. you deserve better

start asking questions

xoxo साया

She needs to wait a few days before she can respond again; going off-campus is unlike her, and she does not want to attract attention. She is not obeying protocol. She should not be talking to this person, whoever they are and whatever they want.

Who are you? Why do you keep trying to contact me?

…

not asking me questions, vaswani

It morphs. Slowly, but it happens. She knows it is her own fault, knows that she is simply happy to have found someone to talk to. Someone outside Vishkar. Even if that someone is an amorphous and disconnected presence conveyed only by bits and electricity, about whom Satya knows sparingly little.

But she collects pearls of information and holds them close. She knows that they could be lies, knows that everything the mysterious Shadow tells her could, and perhaps is, utter fantasy. Yet she thinks it isn’t. She thinks it is sincere.

More accurately, she knows, she needs to believe it is sincere. Perhaps she is still simply too gullible. Trusting, like Sanjay says.

You need to start asking questions.

Shadow is a woman. She apparently possesses prodigious skill with computer systems, specifically infiltrating and manipulating those systems. Soon enough she creates an email for Satya to use and tells her that it can be used on Vishkar’s network without being compromised.

Quite possibly a lie. Perhaps this is an internal HR operation to test her own loyalty. Satya wonders if she’ll be fired, and suddenly her life seems like a blank void without the one thing to which she has devoted her entire life.

Mostly she collects details of little consequence. Shadow likes sweet rolls, or sweet anythings. She’s an avid listener of Lúcio Correia dos Santos and seems to find Satya’s personal dislike of the musician very amusing. She doesn’t have a job, or at least not one she will talk much about. She doesn’t know Hindi, despite the signoff name she uses.

She grew up without parents.

And she’s not a good person. She tells Satya that frequently enough that she should listen. Frequently enough, perhaps, that she should take it to heart.

But she doesn’t.

“Okay,” the voice rasps over her headphones. “Satisfied?”

It is not a computerized tone. It is not an omnic’s voice. It is warm and pleasant and very real against her eardrums.

You know what I look like, Satya said. You won’t even tell me your name. Please?

After some time, she’d gotten a response. Shadow wouldn’t send a picture, and she wouldn’t share her name. But she would talk to Satya, talk to her properly, and Satya could type instead of talking back if it made her more comfortable, which it very much did.

So now she types, I thought you might be an omnic.

Shadow laughs, and even if she is the butt of the joke, Satya finds the sound entrancing. It is a warm laugh to match the warmth of her voice. She thinks she could listen to that sound for a long time.

“Why? Because I’m good with computers? Nah, this is all acquired talent. Like you and building cities.”

Satya tries to place her accent, but it is difficult when she is focused on taking in each word, hearing each caress her ears.

I’m glad you’re not, she types.

“Why?”

She hesitates. It is a foolish thing to think, and more foolish still to admit. But she types out the words, and then she sends them, and they are out of her reach.

I like your voice.

She gets to hear Shadow’s little intake of breath, and then another laugh, quieter, different.

Shadow does not respond at once, and in the intervening time Satya knows it was a mistake to say it. It was a mistake to begin this correspondence at all. She should have blocked her and moved on. She should have told someone. But now it is too late, and she is in too deep, and she will never forget the voice on the other end of the line.

“I’m sure I’d like yours too, Satya,” Shadow says quietly, and somehow that response, the presence of her words again filling Satya’s ears, makes her panic recede.

It is still a mistake. This will still end badly.

But in the moment, just that moment, it doesn’t feel as if it will.

[forestwater87]

Secret Santa 2018 - Chapter 2

Continuing my @campcamp-secretsanta gift for @pikablob! You can find Part 1 here.

CW: Something vaguely gore-adjacent. Lots of angst, because all Dadvids have angst, and I’m kinda doing All the Dadvids.

(One evening Gwen returns to the cabin to find Harrison sleeping on Nurf’s shoulder while the older boy plays on his phone. He gives her a challenging look -- not quite angry, but a fierce “what of it?” that chases the smile from her face until she’s safely out of view.

Later that evening he gives Harrison a wedgie and David worries that they’re not getting along.

She tells him they’re getting along as well as any brothers can be expected to.)

CHAPTER TWO: HARRISON

Harrison appears in the middle of dinner. Literally.

One moment Gwen’s debating Nurf about the finer details of the true-crime documentary they’ve been watching on her parents’ stolen Netflix account --

poof

“Holy Jesus farts!”

“Oh my gosh, oh my god what is that --”

whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

-- the next the room is filled with screaming, knocking-over-chairs-to-get-away-from-the-table pandemonium.

Quartermaster, somehow, is the one who recovers first. He’s not even in the room; the door to the Mess Hall bangs open -- a rush of icy air, screams starting anew at the sudden noise and the terrifying silhouette of a hooked figure in the doorway -- and he stumps his way in. He bysteps David, who fell backward at some point in the last twenty seconds and has just managed to get to his knees -- Nurf, holding his plate up like a shield, ignoring the sauce dripping down it onto the clump of spaghetti that covers his shoes -- and finally Gwen, who’s somehow still at her seat, sitting and staring at the middle of the table and the apparition that appeared on it -- and scoops Harrison up by his collar, holding him with his toes brushing the floor and the back of his shirt impaled on QM’s hook.

Quartermaster grunts. “Child’s here.”

She manages to find her voice somewhere in the airtight tangle of her vocal chords. “Yeah. Huh.”

“‘S’not the usual one.” He jabs his hook, Harrison dangling from it like a large Christmas ornament, in Nurf’s direction.

“No, it isn’t. That’s . . . Harrison. He was here last summer.” Despite everything, Gwen feels strangely calm. “You can put him down now, QM. Thanks.”

He grunts once more, inclining his head slightly toward her, and dumps Harrison onto the floor. He shuffles out without another word -- though no one really notices, not when their attention is so thoroughly arrested on the former camper, who pulls his knees up to his chest and buries his wet face in them. Startled silent by the Quartermaster (who has that effect on people), Harrison begins crying again, huge barking sobs that were drowned out by their screaming at first but are thunderously loud now that the room has gone silent.

Gwen realizes one hand is holding a wand. The other is holding an arm.

David steps closer to Harrison, kneeling down after a moment and touching the boy’s shoulder with one shaky hand. “Um, h-hey, buddy --”

Harrison jolts from the contact like it’s a cattle prod, curling in tighter around himself with a damp gasp and shaking his head violently.

“I didn’t mean to -- I just wanted -- he was --”

Nurf moves until he’s standing next to Gwen. “He’s in shock,” he says, with the unflappable confidence of a kid. Lowering his voice so only she can hear, he mutters, “You’re supposed to slap someone when they’re in shock.”

“Don’t even think about it,” she whispers back, putting one hand between his meaty shoulder blades. It grounds her, makes everything seem a little less surreal. “Go get a blanket from the supply room.”

Nurf shrugs but looks thoughtful. “Guess that works, too.” As he heads off toward the back of the building, he adds quietly, “Probably not as well though.”

“It’s okay,” David’s murmuring. He tugs gently on Harrison’s shoulder, pulling him into an awkward half-hug and petting his hair. “It’s okay, shh, it’s okay . . .”

“I just wanted to bring him back for Christmas,” Harrison manages. The words sound like they’re choking him.

Unsure what else to do, Gwen starts cleaning up what’s left of dinner.

It takes a while to coax Harrison into a state calm enough to talk. He stops crying after they get him wrapped up in one of David’s knitted blankets, tucked in so thoroughly that only his head sticks out of the lumpy wool, but he’s pale and silent. He fought hard when they tried to take the arm, so it’s sitting on his knees like a sword.

(David pulls Gwen aside, vibrating with barely-controlled panic, and whispers that it’s not a mannequin arm, it’s bloodless and cold but it’s skin real skin and oh golly Gwen he felt hair on it -- )

(She tells him to go get another blanket, because she doesn’t know what to do with anyone and it’s either blankets or slapping and she wants to set a good example for the kids.)

The kids.

Her kids, temporarily.

Her weird, violent, dismembered-arm-holding kids.

This is without a doubt the strangest year of her life.

She turns on the TV, partly to distract Nurf -- who’s been staring at Harrison with unabashed curiosity since everyone stopped screaming -- and partly just to have something to cut through the silence. When David returns laden with so many blankets that half of them are trailing on the ground, cold and soggy from their snowy trip from the Mess Hall, she tells him to hang the wet ones up to dry and goes into their bedroom.

There, sitting on her bed with David’s handwritten address book balanced on one knee and Woody, his dumb stuffed log, in her lap, Gwen dials the number for the Willis household -- one she rarely has to reach out to, because as much trouble as Harrison causes it’s rarely something a fire extinguisher and a stern talking-to (David’s words) can’t fix.

He’s a good kid.

Dangerous -- perhaps she didn’t realize how dangerous until he Apparated onto their dining room table with a severed limb -- but a good kid nonetheless.

His mother sounds tired and a bit harried when she answers, but not frantic. “He’s where?” she asks, when Gwen explains the situation (minus the arm and hysterical crying parts). “He said he was . . . when he practices his -- gifts we usually . . .” Her voice pulls away from the phone. “Claude, can you check on Harrison? He’s out back.”

He isn’t, Gwen thinks, but she keeps her mouth shut. She’s always on eggshells with Harrison’s parents; they both seem so fragile, and it feels like any wrong word could cause a meltdown.

She waits through a few minutes of quiet, then a quick, muffled conversation. Finally Mrs. Willis (Carol, reads David’s jagged handwriting in the address book) returns to the phone. “You say he’s there? Is he safe?”

“Uh . . . yeah. Sure.” Physically speaking.

“Can I talk to him?”

She glances at the closed bedroom door, gnawing on her lip. “Maybe not right now?” she says awkwardly. “He’s really tired from the, you know, journey.”

“I see.” There’s something heavy in her voice, a kind of knowing that sits like a weight on Gwen’s chest. “But he’s really all right?”

She decides she’s going to double down on the lying, though she’s not sure who she’s protecting. “Oh, definitely. Fit as a fiddle, or . . . something.”

“And you’ll have him call me as soon as he’s feeling better?” The earnestness in her tone is oddly touching.

“Totally.”

She mentally prepares herself for signoff -- and for dealing with whatever’s waiting for her in the other room -- when Carol speaks again, almost too quietly for Gwen to catch. “Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Huh? What was that?”

“He seems so happy there. Like he can be himself without . . .” She sighs, and there’s a world of misery in it, a story Gwen can barely begin to guess at. “Maybe things would be better if he . . . Never mind. Please have him call.”

Gwen hangs up the phone, wondering if she just witnessed something profound, something that looking back will seem like a turning point.

“Don’t be stupid,” she mutters, climbing out of bed. At the last minute she grabs Woody and brings it into the living room with her.

David somehow managed to get both Nurf and himself into blankets, and the three of them sit facing the TV in a neat row on the couch. The light from the screen washes out their faces, making them look like ghosts wrapped up like burritos -- or in straitjackets. She sets Woody on David’s lap and takes a seat in an adjacent chair. David’s arms are bound too tight to pick up the log, but he beams at Gwen and then smiles down at it, wiggling slightly to get it more securely settled in his lap.

Nurf’s eyes dart from the TV to Gwen, an obvious question in them. She shakes her head slightly; Harrison hasn’t looked away from the television -- though she suspects he’s not actually watching it -- but his posture went stiff and still once she entered the room.

She clears her throat uncomfortably. “So, uh. I talked to your mom.”

Harrison flinches, his eyes dropping from the direction of the TV to his feet.

“She wants you to call when you’re up to it.”

He nods at the floor, his shoulders drooping.

“There’s no rush,” she adds, surprising herself -- because if there’s one thing they don’t need and she certainly doesn’t want, it’s another kid to deal with in her off-season. But Harrison looks like he’s wilting under the pressure of something she can’t fathom, and apparently David’s softened her, because she can’t help but think the Willises could all use a break. She leans forward and reaches out toward the arm, drawing back before Harrison can worry she’s taking it away from him (or she has to touch that apparently-real skin). “But we should also probably talk about that.”

His gaze flicks up to hers suddenly, anguish she’s scared she could drown in. “It was gonna be a Christmas present,” he whispers, his voice barely cutting through the soft fuzz of the TV. “I thought Mom and Dad . . . and after everything I’ve learned here, I thought . . .” He looks down at the arm and his voice wavers. “I just wanted to bring him back.”

Tears drop on the pale, dead limb.

“This was all I got.”

“You should think of it as good news,” David says the next afternoon. They’re in the food court of Sleepy Peak Mall, hunched over lukewarm Chinese. As holiday shoppers stream past, parting around their small island of a bolted-down table and the small pile of shopping bags at their feet, he and Harrison could be in their own little world. “Your powers are getting so much better!”

He doesn’t add that he’s sure Harrison will be able to summon the rest of his little brother in no time. Even he isn’t quite optimistic enough to try and encourage something so dangerous.

After a conversation with his parents, it is quietly agreed that it would be for the best if Harrison spends the rest of the school year at the camp. David watches the panic grow in Gwen’s eyes at the thought of their little family growing, and throws himself into preparations, reassuring them both that this will be easy and fun. He doesn’t even let her take the day off work, shooing her out the door like any other morning. He knows she’ll be more comfortable somewhere familiar and grown-up, and he has the day off, so he’ll be just fine! (Nurf isn’t thrilled about suddenly having to share the other counselors’ bedroom, but he surprisingly doesn’t complain -- just shoves all of his things to one side of the room and reminds David that they’re keeping the spare cots in the supply shed, and to check for bugs and mice before bringing it in. David has to blink and look away to keep from tearing up with pride.)

A quick shopping trip for clothes and supplies, and David’s feeling like he has quite the handle on things.

(If his heart rate has been a little high all morning and he can’t stop his leg from bouncing, that’s just the excitement. Certainly he has nothing to be anxious about!)

It’s only been a few hours but he’s already reworking his Nurf Plans, altering them for Harrison and developing new ones that more closely fit the boy’s personality. Harrison is much more talkative than Nurf, even now, and David finds that a few well-placed questions and words of praise perk him up whenever he starts looking gloomy. He’s a very open person in a way that Nurf isn’t -- eager to please and even more so to talk about magic (illusions, right. He has to remember they’re called illusions). Even when there’s tension crackling at the edges of the conversation, landmines that David does his darn best to step widely around, there’s still conversation and that’s a world of difference from the first weeks, let alone days, with his other year-round camper.

Now, though, with shopping done and nothing but a few minutes’ worth of orange chicken in front of them, he can’t stop Harrison from worrying at the thought that’s been stuck at the front of his mind all day. “He doesn’t have an arm anymore,” he mumbles, prodding at his food with the wrong end of a chopstick. “Wherever Dyl is, he’s missing an arm and it’s my fault. Nurf says people can die from losing an arm.”

David sighs. He’ll have to have a stern talking-to with Nurf about when thoughts should be kept on the inside instead of spoken out loud. “Oh, I’m sure he’s all right!” he replies, looking down at his chicken. Queasiness lurches his stomach and he quickly returns his gaze to Harrison’s downcast face. “That’s usually from . . . well, from blood loss, and there wasn’t any! I’ll bet Dylan is right as rain.”

Harrison just shrugs and takes a reluctant bite, and they finish their food in silence.

It isn’t until they’re driving back home that it occurs to him that he overlooked something important. “Hey, Harrison?” he says, glancing away from the road to put an uncertain hand on the boy’s shoulder. “It’s not your fault, bud. Whatever happens.”

He doesn’t say anything back, but the quiet between them feels a little bit lighter.

They can’t depend on Campbell for any more shrink money -- the Millers already think he’s seeing a counselor, and it’d be hard to explain why he’d need two -- but Harrison’s parents are surprisingly generous. “We had him speak to someone after Dy -- after his brother . . . after that incident,” his mother says over the phone, “but he always seems so confident, when he said he didn’t need to go anymore we believed him.”

Harrison is confident, especially that he doesn’t need therapy. Once the check comes in the mail, Gwen sets up an appointment, and he spends the entire week before arguing that there’s nothing wrong with him except that he needs to control his illusions, and if they really wanted to help him they would sign him up for some real magic classes.

Gwen snaps back that it’s not like there’s a fucking Hogwarts to send him to and they’re doing the best they can, and he backs off immediately -- not apologizing, but going quiet and shrinking like a bad dog. After that they don’t bring up the subject again, and he goes with Nurf to counseling without an argument.

Does it help? It must.

Or maybe time just works its own form of magic.

Because by the time the grass begins to peek through the gray-dirty snow, Harrison is like he was at camp: arrogant, a showoff, unshakably confident in his own excellence yet also needy for attention and validation. He surprises both counselors (and delights David) by being snuggly; he’s self-conscious like any other preteen boy, especially when Nurf is around to make fun of him, but he sits too close on the couch and instinctively hugs them goodnight.

(One evening Gwen returns to the cabin to find Harrison sleeping on Nurf’s shoulder while the older boy plays on his phone. He gives her a challenging look -- not quite angry, but a fierce “what of it?” that chases the smile from her face until she’s safely out of view.

Later that evening he gives Harrison a wedgie and David worries that they’re not getting along.

She tells him they’re getting along as well as any brothers can be expected to.)

The money continues arriving, more or less on a monthly basis. Each check is bundled with a letter, usually from Harrison’s father -- “He expresses his feelings better in writing,” Carol Willis explains to Gwen and David, in phone calls that begin daily, then gradually become less frequent until by the time Harrison is in high school he only speaks to his mother once or twice a year.

But in all that time the checks keep coming like clockwork, and so do the letters.

Neither of them know what the letters say; Harrison’s usual chattiness dries up when it comes to his family, and they’ve made it a point to respect their campers’ privacy. Although once when David is rummaging around the boys’ room for their most recent report cards -- he’s making a gold-star system for the new quarter, and he wants to set reasonable-but-optimistic expectations for each of them -- he finds the last page of a letter. He doesn’t deliberately read any of it but his eyes snag on the last line like a fishhook:

“I want you to remember it’s okay, Harrison. It’s not your fault.”

He sets it aside and resumes his search, finding another letter at the bottom of a pile of drawings (costume designs for Harrison the Magnificent). And at the bottom, the same final words.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

A bookmark in one of his comic books:

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault.”

Fallen behind his dresser. Under his bed. Crammed into his backpack.

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“It’s not your fault.”

By the time he finds the report card he can barely read it, the letters swimming and blurring together. He wipes his eyes with his sleeve and quickly abandons the room, holding the slightly-crumpled paper to his chest.

He wonders how many times a child can be told something’s not their fault before they become convinced it must be.

As Harrison’s collection of letters grows, so does his comfort with the new situation. Gwen notices her book collection being slightly rearranged -- things keep disappearing, and when she finds them again she swears they’re never in the place she left them -- but it isn’t until Quartermaster knocks on her door one evening, Harrison dangling by the collar from his hook, that she realizes just how bored the kid is. He and Nurf can use Gwen’s laptop for homework when the ancient camp computer breaks down, but otherwise that creaking old machine is his only non-school connection to the outside world; and he doesn’t take to the camp like Nurf does, listlessly exploring the empty stations and the surrounding woods but never able to entertain himself with it for more than an hour. He helps David out with repairs when asked, but he also tries to speed things up with magic (with results ranging from “kinda cool” to devastating).

Then QM interrupts -- well, it doesn’t matter what he interrupts but suffice it to say, David is incredibly embarrassed and Gwen is not in the mood for any bullshit -- to deliver Harrison back into their care. It takes a few minutes (that she’s still very much not in the mood for) to wheedle out of him that he’d been “looking for supplies” in the Quartermaster’s Store, and a few more to get him to admit that he’d just been curious, and bored, and looking for something to read.

The next morning she borrows the campmobile to get their strange little family a library card, and comes home with the backseat full of magic-related books, children’s fiction, and anything else that seemed like it might appeal to a ten-year-old boy with a tendency to accidentally blow things up.

To her surprise, all three of her housemates divvy up the books with enthusiasm. She’s also surprised when Nurf and Harrison nearly come to blows/firefight over the biography of Richard Potter, and even more so when it abruptly ends because The Hobbit catches Nurf’s attention. (She is not even remotely shocked when David uses the kids’ argument to snatch up a couple sappy-looking children’s novels. Or when he spends the next several minutes deliberately avoiding eye contact once he realizes she noticed.)

There are a lot of almost-fights as the boys get used to sharing a living space. Gwen would never in a million years have put Harrison and Nurf in the same tent -- if she could, she’d put them in separate campgrounds -- but now that they’re stuck sharing a room, she and David are always on-call to referee, break up fights, and patch up physical and emotional injuries. The first few weeks are a constant backdrop of yelling children.

Gwen looks into the cost of getting her tubes tied more than once. (She can’t afford it.)

Then one evening Harrison’s moping dramatically in their small living room, draped across the back of Gwen’s chair as he wonders aloud (again) why Nerris doesn’t seem to like him. Without looking away from The Fellowship of the Ring, Nurf says, “She feels threatened that you can do tangible magic, and the way you’re always showing it off makes things worse.”

Harrison lifts his head, scrambling to keep his hat in place. “Really? Did she say that?”

Nurf does glance up then, fixing Harrison with an incredulous glare (which David will later insist he picked up from Gwen). “No, fart-face. I have keen observational skills, which you should seriously consider developing.”

“Be nice!” David calls over from the other side of the room, looking up from the beaker he’s whittling to frown at them. Nurf scowls and returns to reading, his finger slowly moving across the page to keep his place.

After a few minutes of silence, Harrison sidles over to the couch, perching next to Nurf’s feet like he’s worried about being kicked (which isn’t an irrational fear). “So,” he mumbles, shooting him a sideways glance before exaggeratedly inspecting his fingernails, “you can just . . . tell things about people? By looking at them?”

Nurf doesn’t respond, though his finger stops moving and his scowl deepens.

“Can you teach me?”

“You’re kind of self-absorbed, Harrison. It probably won’t work.” He sighs heavily. “But my therapist says it’s good to be helpful instead of always resorting to violence, so . . . yeah. Fine.”

Suddenly his leg shoots out, kicking Harrison in the thigh and knocking him from the couch with a yelp.

“Be nice!”

“What was that for?” Harrison demanded, climbing to his feet and rubbing his leg.

Nurf shrugged, returning to his book. “You can’t expect me to improve all in one day. I’m just a kid.”

Summer rolls around again. David, after a few conversations Gwen’s surprised to find Nurf takes seriously, takes it upon himself to sign Nurf up for two camps: Football and Carpentry, one of the handful of new activities they’re trying out. Harrison remains in Magic Camp, which he never really needed an official “camp” for anyway; he so far outstrips Gwen and David in terms of talent that they can’t look up anything online or in a book that he couldn’t, so they leave him, like last summer and like the rest of the year, to continue to teach himself. He can now summon water as well as fire, which makes both counselors much less worried about leaving him to practice alone, and is very excited about something called “transmutation.” (He’s tried to explain it to both of them several times, but they still don’t really understand what it means.)

He hasn’t mentioned anything about trying to summon his brother again. They haven’t asked.

Most of the campers, to their surprise, return. Neil returns complaining about Science Camp (though he begrudgingly admits that the conditions are somewhat less dangerous than last year). Ered returns despite what the Millers assure David and Gwen are “very serious misgivings,” and with the understanding that the camp will be under very close federal inspection. Nikki returns and immediately tries to pee on the flagpole to “mark her place” again, and Space Kid, just like last year, immediately fell trying to climb off the bus and gets his helmet coated in mud.

Max returns, too. David has been fluttering with nervous anxiety ever since they received his camp application form, but his most challenging camper greets him like no time has passed, responding to his “Welcome back to Camp Campbell!” with rolled eyes and a tired “suck a dick, David” before immediately seeking out Nikki and Neil.

(David tries not to get emotional when Nikki sweeps the other two up in enthusiastic hugs. He fails, and quickly turns his attention to helping Nerris untangle her cape from the bushes to recover himself before Max can notice.)

Summer happens.

It feels just as endless as it always does, and just like always, it ends far too soon.

[atmilliways]

Stuck on the Outside Failing to Look In (Just Like in Real Life)

This @mtl-trick-or-treat​ fic is for @tanyonlee​, who asked for either a treat of “Very cute Skwistok!!” or a trick of “Skwisgaar and his gmiltf girlfriend XDDD.”

It’s your lucky Halloween dude, because I wrote BOTH. In five parts. I hope you like 8300+ word fics. 💩 

Here’s part one! (1412 words)

~

Excerpt from Skwisgaar Is Ams Dick by T. Wartooth, chapter four (“Skwisgaar Is Ams Slut”), pages 132-133:

Everyones knows that Skwisgaar will does just abouts anybodies. That ain’ts the halfs of it! Every times ol’ Toki starts talkings to a beautiesful girl, Skwisgaar rolls right ups and starts the whisperings horny nothings to her ear what’s like I’m not theres. Fucking rudes! Then he goes and screws thems. Sometimes they don’t even bothers to leaves the room! And it’s not evens like whats the ladies are really sluts. Some ofs them ams real nice, whats have hopes and dreams and real goods teeth and everything. Some even haves the boobs thats am all naturals, just like mothers makes ‘em, though nots veries often ‘cause most groupies gets them sized ups whats to catch our attention betters.

But anyways, the ladies ain’ts the sluts, Skwisgaar ams. The ladies only wants to sleeps with likes four, maybies five guys, because we ams super mega famous. Skwisgaar ams the ones who doesn’ts cares whos he puts the you-know-whats sausage into sides of as longs as he gets to does it! You barlies ever see his ass with the sames lady twice!! He ams physicallies uns-capable of even gettings that close to settling downs and I can proves it. Ins this chapter I wills...

~

“... In other news, Toki Wartooth seems to be on the Toki Warpath! He’s been arrested seventeen times in the last two months alone, and at last night’s Dethklok concert in Washington DC actually lept from the stage and started it all-out brawl. The incident ended up outing several ultra-conservative Senators and House Representatives as closet Dethklok fans, despite having made so much effort to distance themselves from the group in the past. Thanks to the staff at prominent DC hospitals that leaked copies of the intake forms to the press, they’ve got quite a bit of explaining to do to their constituents.

“And that’s the Dethklok Minute!”

~

Groupie Debriefing Transcript

ID: 174849464438

               [ x] Returning                [ x] Approved for return

On file:

    [ x] Pain waiver     [ x] STI screen upon arrival     [ x] STI screen prior to debriefing     [   ] Paternity waiver     [ x] Medical record of infertility due to                [   ] Hysterectomy                [   ] Tubal ligation                [ x] Menopause                [   ] Other: ________

Name: Beulah Rosenberg

Rating: GMILF

Debriefing Agent: 7982

7982: Please state for the record which members of Dethklok you interacted with on this visit.

ROSENBERG: Just Skwisgaar.

7982: Skwigelf?

ROSENBERG: Is there more than one Skwisgaar floating around here, dear?

7982: Just being thorough, ma’am.

ROSENBERG: Oh good. I don’t think he would like that, he’s a very sensitive boy you know. Being unique is very important to him.

7982: I’m aware, ma’am. And what was the purpose of your visit?

ROSENBERG: I don’t kiss and tell, dear.

7982: Um, okay. And you were with him from approximately 3:15pm yesterday to 8:45am this morning, is that correct?

ROSENBERG: That sounds about right. And we spent most of that time talking, for your information.

7982: Talking? With Lord Skwigelf? Instead of, uh... I mean, isn’t that a bit unusual? In your experience? Which... you’ve been on file here for several years now.

ROSENBERG: Eight years, nine next September. It is a bit of a change, but not necessarily a recent one. He’s been more introspective ever since... I’d say a little bit before his little band mate got kidnapped, but definitely more so after that.

7982: And I see from our records that he’s been requesting your presence more often since roughly that time. Was all that, uh, mostly taking as well?

ROSENBERG: Well... mostly.

7982: Grandma!

ROSENBERG: Oh for god’s sake, don’t be such a prude, Denis.

~

Therapy session transcript 5-625148-TW, excerpt:

TWINKLETITS: So what’s been on your mind lately, Toki? What’s going on in that noggin?

WARTOOTH: Nothings.

TWINKLETITS: Toki, Toki. You’ve got to be honest in this room, okay buddy? It’s been a big year. Lots of things going on. Lots of things that sooner or later you’re gonna have to face head-on one way or another, and wouldn’t it be nice to do that in a safe, supportive environment?

WARTOOTH: Not reallies.

TWINKLETITS: I know what’s been going on. You’ve been picking fights, breaking windows... you’re scaring people, Toki. All your friends are worried half to death about you.

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

TWINKLETITS: That’s a big load of bull pats. Why would they go through all that trouble to get you back if they didn’t care?

WARTOOTH: The bands—

TWINKLETITS: They found you. Do you think that was easy?

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

TWINKLETITS: Toki, have they talked to you at all about what it was like getting to you?

TWINKLETITS: Toki?

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible]

WARTOOTH: Noes.

TWINKLETITS: Well they told me. They didn’t have any idea what they were doing, but they went anyway, and followed any crazy idea they could pull out of their asses to do it. Pickles guessed they should look in the place where you played your very first gig as a member of Dethklok—

WARTOOTH: The Depths of Humanities? That shitshole?

TWINKLETITS: Exactly! And Skwisgaar—

WARTOOTH: I don’ts wants to talk about that asshole! Fucking bastards don’t gots no time for anything but sluts—

TWINKLETITS: Toki, no!

WARTOOTH: [unintelligible yelling, smashing furniture]

~

From: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk

To: s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk

CC: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Consider this a band meeting

Skwisgaar, I don’t know why Dr. Twinkletits is still calling me, but can you think of any reason Toki might be angry with you?

Kind regards,

Charles F. Ofdenson

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Consider this a band meeting

uSUal reason right? not giving hm sodas? back ne up her gays

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

SOLOS!

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

No. He’s just still fucked up from being kidnapped.

Hey Charles, you ever going to fucking visit us man? Thought you were hamburger time again. Answer your phone when I text you. Dick.

~

From: w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

Hey fuckfaces,

You’re all wrong!!! Take it from me, a real lady’s man. He’s upset over some chick who went and broke his stupid heart!!! I’ll take some booze over to his room later, we’ll talk it out, problem solved. Nailed it. ;)

—WM

ps, What’s with the “kind regards” signoff, Charles? Pretty gay.

~

From: p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk

To: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk, n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

ahahahahha mface thinks charlies pretty

cuz hes gay mface is gay THATS THE JOOKE

8=====D doodily doodily dooo

~

From: c.f.ofdenson@mordhaus.metal.dk

To: n.explosion@brutal.metal.dk, p.the.drummer@fuckoff.metal.dk, s.skwigelf@guitargod.metal.dk, w.murderface@planetpiss.metal.dk

Subj: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Consider this a band meeting

OK, thank you for all your responses.

Pickles — That’s a good idea, it could be the lack of solos. I appreciate your input.

Nathan — Recent trauma is also a strong possible explanation as to why Toki has been acting out lately. Also, I am sending you a text right now. Please text back whenever convenient, and perhaps we can schedule an actual call.

William — I’m not sure alcohol is necessary in this situation, but otherwise I agree, Toki would probably benefit from having a friend to talk to right now.

If anyone could advise me as to why Skwisgaar is not replying to emails, that would be appreciated. Good afternoon, gentlemen.

Kind regards,

Charles F. Ofdenson

[sh00t]

I was tagged by @baeringandwells​ 💕 you're awesome, Mel. :D

I tag @playfullywitty-signoff​ @scullysass​ @thedorkone​ @tinygrumpshaw​ @code-newyork​ @a-mi-zivi​ @shawroots​ @runawaynicominoru​

1. last drink: hot chocolate 2. last phone call: Nemo :) 3. last text message: my roommate telling her when I'm coming back 4. last song you listened to: Mr. Brightside 5. last time you cried: I can't actually remember 6. dated someone twice? no 7. kissed someone and regretted it? no 8. been cheated on? no 9. lost someone special? my grandpa and a few residents at work I was really attached to 💔 10. been depressed? yes 11. gotten drunk and thrown up? 13 times bc of hockey socials. they go hard on dumb freshers (me)

fave colors: 12. yellow 13. red 14. purple in the last year have you… 15. made new friends? yes 16. fallen out of love? no 17. laughed until you cried? yeah! 18. found out someone was talking about you? yes, the tour sec was really confused and trying to figure out who I am. she was asking everyone, bc my official first name and what everyone calls me is different 😂 19. met someone who changed you? ofc, I'm constantly changing and learning something new from everyone I meet 20. found out who your friends are? err, no? what? 21. kissed someone on your facebook friends list? no general 22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl? all of them 23. do you have any pets? I wish 😭 24. do you want to change your name? no but only bc it's too much effort 25. what did you do for your last birthday? celebrated with family in London. Went to comic con and then a sushi restaurant and then a comedy show. Had cake. :D 26. what time did you wake up today? I woke up briefly at 10am but went back to sleep and got up at 12pm 27. what were you doing at midnight last night? rapping/singing in a karaoke room with 10 friends eating Chinese food and predrinking for the club 28. what is something you can’t wait for? Finding meeting Nemo ❤️ 30. what are you listening to right now? What If The Storm Ends by Snow Patrol 31. have you ever talked to a person named tom? yes 32. something thats getting on your nerves? My family not communicating with each other and using me as a middle man. I have my own shit to do, why can't they just talk to each other directly instead 😩 33. most visited website: Google 34. hair color: dyed brown (from black) 35. long or short hair: either 36. do you have a crush on someone: my gf 37. what do you like about yourself: I'm open to new experiences 38. want any piercings? no 39. blood type: A+ 40. nicknames: my roommate regrettably calls me Bunny Bun 😂 41. relationship status: Nemo accepted my very delayed gf application form so :D 42. zodiac: Gemini 43. pronouns: she/her 44. fave tv shows: Person of Interest, Warehouse 13, Steven Universe 45. tattoos: fuck yeah. (I mean I don't have any yet but other people having them is 👀 💯 👌) 46. right or left handed: right 47. ever had surgery: no 48. piercings: ears 49. sport: field hockey! other things I try to do (key word being try) are football, karate, netball and rugby. 50. vacation: Germany, Greece and Australia!! People I love are there. 51. trainers: yes. (What's the question here?) more general 52. eating: sweets 53. drinking: nothing 54. I’m about to watch: One Day at a Time 55. waiting for: March 17 56. want: to remain healthy mentally and physically 57. get married: yeah. I mean no rush but working in a care home made me realise. It really sucks not having life partners when you're older. Doesn't even have to be a spouse. Even just committed friends or family etc. who would visit and be there for you no matter what. Keep you company. The commitment to love each other and be there for each other? Worth it. Having someone who cares to share small life details with is nice. When you get older and health starts acting up and people move on in different directions and are busy with their own lives and troubles... having a Person is good. I'm glad my parents have and love each other. 58. career: haha a what now which is better 59. hugs or kisses: hugs 60. lips or eyes: eyes 61. shorter or taller: either 62. older or younger: I'll say older bc I'm 18 and wouldn't date anyone under 18 63. nice arms or stomach: arms 64. hookup or relationship: relationship 65. troublemaker or hesitant: hesitant have you… 66. kissed a stranger: no 67. drank hard liquor: shots shots shots shots shots 68. lost glasses: only temporarily 😂 69. turned someone down: yes 70. sex on first date: no 71. broken someone’s heart: no 72. had your heart broken: I've broken my own heart lmao 73. been arrested: no 74. cried when someone died: yes 75. fallen for a friend: do you believe in 76. yourself: yes 77. miracles: no 78. love at first sight: IMO love is a choice you have to make over and over again so. I mean. Sure. You can approach anyone new you meet with the intent to love them. Is that love at first sight? 79. santa claus: no 80. kiss on a first date: yes 81. angels: no other 82. best friends name: Caitlin 83. eye color: dark brown 84. fave movie: Atomic Blonde 85. fave actor: Amy Acker. Easy 😂

[clarencenicholsonata]

5 Ways to Make Sure Your Facebook Advertising Shines During the Coronavirus

As just about every recent email signoff says, these are some “strange and uncertain times.” But one thing is certain: more people at home means more people online.

According to The New York Times, daily Facebook traffic rocketed up by 27% since the start of the coronavirus crisis in the United States. Many brands are creating a strategy to take advantage of this increased traffic while remaining tactful and empathetic to consumers.

It’s a fine line to walk. You want to spread the good word about your business, but you also want to keep a clean conscience and maintain a positive brand image.

Striking that balance is possible if you take the right approach.

Why focus on Facebook?

Statistics from Hootsuite show that Facebook has 2.5 billion monthly users. Advertisers can reach 1.95 billion of those users. That’s nearly a third of the global population! And because Facebook is on the rise during COVID-19, you can’t afford to not focus on Facebook right now.

However, yours isn’t the only company taking advantage of increased traffic. There will be a lot of competition in the coming months. That’s why your Facebook ads must stand out from the crowd.

Start with these 5 ways to make sure your Facebook advertising shines during coronavirus.

1.Create Ads that increase Lead Generation

A recent Wall Street Journal article revealed that the cost of advertising on Facebook is dropping. Sounds great, right? But there’s a catch.

Conversion rates are also dropping. This means that even if you increase your ad spend to take advantage of the lower CPM, your conversion rates likely won’t increase.

This doesn’t mean you should give up on effective ads. It just means you should pivot your strategy to focus less on conversion and more on gathering emails from leads.

Change your Facebook promotion category from “Get More Website Visitors” to “Get More Leads.” When consumers see your ads, the ads will prompt them to enter their contact info instead of converting on your website.

Prompting users to fill in their info instead of pressuring them to convert is a better tactic to use now that all conversion rates are down. It also makes you seem less pushy.

I know it may be difficult to pull away from conversion-based strategies for a while, but it’s the best way to take advantage of the current situation.

Don't forget to downloadThe Absolute Corona Virus Facebook & Instagram Ad Guide for Brands .

2. Use Passion and Purpose to Connect with People

This is not a normal time. If you try to go on with business as usual, potential customers could see your brand as tone-deaf.

This is the last thing you want. Instead of trying to keep up a front of normalcy, don’t be afraid to show a little vulnerability.

Some companies shared pictures of their employees working from home or released a heartfelt message from one of their executives. Others converted some of their facilities to create protective gear for healthcare workers. Many companies ran fundraising campaigns to support the cause.

An ad (or even just a post) about an effort like this can make it easier for consumers to relate to and trust your brand.

Additionally, see this as a time when your brand can step up. People are struggling because of this pandemic. There may be something you can do to help.

An article from McKinsey & Company phrases it this way: “Is this the moment when purposeful companies demonstrate how to use profits for good or that shows how everything a company does can be for good?”

Personally, I think how companies behave during this time is very telling. Their true nature comes out when they’re under pressure.

So, what is your company’s true nature? How can your company use profits for good? What can your company do to show that it cares?

As an example, take a look at this ad from eco-friendly shoe manufacturer Allbirds:

This ad does 3 things very well: 1. Clearly states exactly how the company helped people in need. 2. Explains that the company will continue to help. 3. Invites consumers to join in by purchasing or donating.

While your company may not be able to distribute half a million dollars’ worth of shoes, you can definitely find a way to help, show how you want to continue helping, and invite people to join you in your mission.

Ready to start your own Facebook ad campaign?

Book a free call to learn how our team of marketing experts can help you create high converting Facebook ads today.

3. Be Informed & Lean Into the Moment

You may think constant references to COVID-19 annoy people, but the data says otherwise. This graph from ViralSpace.ai shows the increased performance of coronavirus-related posts:

This doesn’t mean that the posts have to be virus-focused or dreary. A negative tone – not the subject itself – may be what consumers are really tired of.

Again, this tactic is about striking a balance. Lean in, but don’t come off as an opportunist.

Check out some of these recent apparel ads to see what I mean:

437 Swimwear subtly references stay-at-home orders by asking, “Who needs the beach?”

Everlane highlights the kind of comfy loungewear that people working from home have been living in 24/7.

Nike more directly addresses the issue by stating that “Now more than ever, we are one team.” They also offer workout videos on their app that are perfect for when you’re stuck at home.

None of these Facebook ads even use the words “coronavirus” or “COVID-19.” Yet, they all speak to a population of consumers who are staying at home and in need of an outlet.

Even though this is a scary time, consumers want you to see them and recognize what they’re going through. You can’t ignore it. Leaning into the moment is the better option. Brainstorm ways that your business can be relatable without necessarily mentioning the pandemic. The content could outperform your other ads and posts.

If you’re skeptical, use Facebook’s A/B testing feature to directly compare a coronavirus-related ad to a regular ad. Then let the data be your guide.

Finally, make sure to use landing page software to pair your awesome ads with COVID-friendly messaging.

For more help check our 12 Savvy Corona Virus Marketing Examples You Can Steal

4. Use Humor to Increase Engagement

As you can tell from the growing number of coronavirus memes, people are using humor to cope with this situation. As long as you’re tactful about it, your business can use some humor, too.

Light sarcasm, puns, or subtle pop culture references can connect with your audience in a unique way. If this fits your brand’s voice, it could be even more effective.

Reformation and Bonobos struck the right chord with the humor in their Facebook ads:

While you’re also looking forward to “the blessed day you get to leave the house,” try adding this kind of humor to your company’s Facebook advertising strategy. A little sarcasm could even help humanize your brand.

Be careful not to go overboard, though. A bad joke can lead to some terrible publicity.

To avoid that kind of mistake, have some of your coworkers, friends, or family give your ad copy a “sensitivity read.” They’ll tell you if the humor doesn’t land right.

5. Use Lookalike Audiences That Optimize for Ltv.

Because conversion rates are low right now, you need to be precise and optimize for average order value by picking off high LTV customers. Using LTV creates Facebook’s most effective version of lookalike audiences.

When you use LTV, you target potential customers that look like your most valuable customers.

Look at it this way. Say you have two customers: one who spent $50, and one who spent $500. LTV helps you target people who look more like the $500 customer than the $50 one.

Especially now, when conversion rates are low, you need to focus on capturing a high-value audience. This guide on Growth Marketing Pro can teach you how to implement LTV for better-performing lookalike audiences on Facebook.

Once you start targeting an audience that’s similar to your highest-value customers, your leads will be more qualified. Your email list will fill up with more valuable potential customers, and your future conversion rates could prove it.

Conclusion

Coronavirus slowed down the real world, but the online world shows no signs of stopping. In fact, it’s obvious that life online is speeding up.

These tactics will help you take this unprecedented time and turn it into an unprecedented change in your Facebook advertising strategies.

Take advantage of low CPM with lead focused ads. Do something positive for those struggling. Lean in and show that you know how things have changed. Use a little humor. And don’t forget to use lookalike audiences that optimize for LTV, so you only attract the most valuable potential customers.

Want to go beyond Facebook ads to step up your digital marketing game during coronavirus?

This is the perfect time to try other channels. Perhaps SEO will work for your business. An affordable software like GrowthBar can help you find out.

About the Author

Mark Spera is a marketing guy, a pizza enthusiast and San Francisco resident. Also, he started the Growth Marketing Pro and built it into a 6-figure passive income business in 18 months.

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300+ TOP BUSINESS ANALYST Interview Questions and Answers

BUSINESS ANALYST Interview Questions for freshers experienced :-

1. What Is Business Analysis? Business analysis can be described as the sequence of activities which are implemented in order to assess the business requirement needs and to fit the required solution so as to bring around the success of the organization and business. So, this sequence of task is normally performed by a “Business Analyst” or BA. 2. What Are The Industry And Professional Standards Followed By Business Analyst? Industry standards that have been set for the BAs to follow are OOAD principles and Unified Modeling Language (UML). This is a common language used by business analysts all around the world to draft the functional requirements. 3. Who Uses The Output Produced By Business Analyst? The output will be used by the Both IT and Non-IT People, as IT people use this document as key for the building of the application and Non-IT people use those document where they can see prototype of their application. 4. Why Excellent Communication Skill Is Essential For A Business Analyst? A BA is one who sits with the client understands it and then tells the IT people what needs to be done hence BA needs to have excellent communication skills. 5. What Is The Difference Between Data Model And An Entity Relationship Diagram? A data model is a model which shows how data is stored and used for e.g. a normal database. It has 3 main parts: Structural part:- how data is structured. Integrity part:- Rules governing structure. Manipulation part:- operators used to select,update,querry that data,eg select, update, delete commands in sql. ENTERPRISE DATA MODEL(ENTERPRISE RELATIONSHIP MODELING) :- This can be called as an conceptual model or semantic model. The sub parts of an ERM are: Entity:- It is an object, eg employees, computer. Relationship:- It captures how two or more entities are related to each other. Attributes:- Every entity has its own sets of attributes (e.g. PAN no in India for each employee or SSN in US). 6. What Is The Educational Qualification Required For A Business Analyst? There is no specific qualification for a business analyst. Well, if you are a management graduate it is an added advantage since they have better communication skills. One important thing a BA needs to have is domain knowledge or business knowledge. Unless he/she understands the client's business process thoroughly they cannot draft the requirements properly. 7. Mention The Components Of Uml? UML uses many concepts from many sources. For Structure: Actor, Attribute, Class, Component, Interface, Object, Package. For Behavior: Activity, Event, Message, Method, Operation, State, use case. For Relationships: Aggregation, Association, Composition, Depends, Generalization (or Inheritance). Other Concepts: Stereotype. It qualifies the symbol it is attached to. 8. Mention Some Of The Important Points A Business Analyst Must Take Care While Preparing Business Plan? While Creating Business Document, Make sure you start from small problems. Don’t jump to big problems right way. Keep the Business sponsors and IT folks in the loop. Make sure your document clearly state Exceptions, Assumptions and Limitations. Sometime you need to keep in mind the legal issues. Business document should be well written for usability and for future projects. 9. Why Is Business Analyst Position Vital In An Organization? The position is important because a BA is a people’s person when it comes to the users and an IT person when it comes to the developers. He can communicate with the users in jargon that they are comfortable with and is able to understand them in order to collect solid business requirements. Simultaneously he can effectively communicate these requirements and support them with documentation for a developers benefit. 10. What Are The Quality Procedures Followed Normally By A Business Analyst? For quality there is no specific mark of course Six sigma and ITIL (Information technology infrastructural library United kingdom) are certain quality standard establishing organizations and methods. But As a normal the following should be followed: The quality of communication while gathering requirement should be excellent and outstanding. Sometimes users are just looking for functionality in system and they are not even able to say that what exactly will be their dream functionality which will be most convenient to them. In that case BA should explore them and figure out the exactly demanded requirements.

BUSINESS ANALYST Interview Questions 11. How Is Requirement Analysis Done By Business Analyst? Requirement session is usually done through JAD session. Business Folks and Major sponsors are always there along with some technical folks. Business analyst then goes through each requirement and asks for the feedback. If Business Sponsors and Technical Folks think that all the requirements are according to the business and won’t be a barrier to existing system. They get the official signoff on Business Requirement document. IT manager and Business manager both do the sign off on that business requirement document. 12. Does The Business Analyst Interact With Clients Directly? If So State The Reason For The Same? It depends on the project to project it is not always the same that we do interact with the clients directly, some time there will be a team whom might be interacting with the client and gives you the requirement and if have questions either we do talk with that team or our manager. 13. Mention The Difference Between Business Process Improvement And Business Process Reengineering? Business process improvement implies changing a step sub step or any part of the process i.e. process is not completely changed In BPR we actually study the business and find out what is the best way I can carry out the process and change the whole way the process runs(business process redesign). 14. What Is Uml? The Unified Modeling Language (UML) is a standard language for specifying, visualizing, constructing, and documenting the artifacts of software systems, as well as for business modeling and other non-software systems. The UML represents a collection of best engineering practices that have proven successful in the modeling of large and complex systems. 15. How Is Business Plan Evaluated? A business plan is evaluated by checking the contents of the plan such as if the plan have based on the resource planning and envisioning phase of the project. 16. What Are The Problems Business Analyst Could Face During Gathering Business Requirements? The availability of the people (e.g. managers, supervisors and the end users) the BA wants to talk with for gathering business requirements. These people have regular daily works to do and their time to spend in the gathering sometimes hard to schedule and for this reason gathering business requirements is delay. 17. What Can A Business Analyst Do Differently Than Project Or Program Manager (design Architect) With Respect To Successfully Getting The Project Implementation Done? Business Analyst role is not entirely different than Project manager role but Project Manager is bigger role than business Analyst. Project manager is responsible for all the deliverables like schedules/ timelines resources management risk management Daily/weekly status report to project stack holders etc. where as business analyst sometimes report to project manager or may report to business manager. Business Analyst deals with business users to gather requirements prepare RD, FD and coordinate with development team for development and then do the testing involve with users in testing get the sign off and move component to live. 18. Where Would You Document Functional And Non Functional Requirements (i.e. Deliverable)? Functional Requirements are documented in the SRS document / Use Case Document. Non Functional requirements are listed in the SRS document. 19. How Do You Identify The Basic Flow? What Would You Do If Someone Was Struggling To Determine The Basic Flow For A Use Case? Basic flow for use case can be identified from Business Requirement Documents or Functional Requirement Documents as these use cases are prepared on the basis of these requirement. 20. What Is The Relationship Between Use Case And Test Case? A use case is written from a "user" perspective describing the interaction of a piece of software between the user and the software. These are written in common language typically from the business or user point of view and in enough detail for the developer to create a piece of software. Typically written in a MS Word type tool. Use cases capture the functional requirements of the system. It describes the expected interaction the user will experience, in detail. The audience is the business, for signoff, and technology for development. 21. What Would You Do If The Client Says That You And The Other Analysts Cannot Directly Talk To The Users? If this happens then explain the purpose of your talk (e.g. capture requirements) and why it’s important to talk to users directly (e.g. the quality of requirements will be better if they comes directly from the users mouth). Explain them that it will be a high risk to the project if analyst can't talk to the users directly. Client can give access to indirect (surrogate) users but explain that the quality of requirements will be not good. Hopefully your client will agree by now otherwise flag it as a higher risk in Business Requirement Document and highlight during your meeting with your PM and Project Sponsors. Now, it’s your PM or project sponsors duty to provide you access to those direct users. If they can't than you are safe anyways. 22. We Are Going To A Client On Monday To Help Them With Their Requirements. We Have Just Received A Business Case From The Client, And They Have No Tools In Place. What Would We Do The First Week? First week in this case is always advisable to do a due diligence of the amount of work, expectations, existing process, time lines with the constraints surrounding. One of major constraints in this case would include lack of tools. Depending on the project timelines, complexity and volume of the project present your recommendations for tools to be used and the estimated budget allocation required. Document the comparison of productivity and flexibility with and without tools used. This should help the project sponsors to take a call on going for tools. 23. Version Control And Configuration Management Are Terms Used Widely In The Business Industry, Write Short Notes About The Terms? By definition, version control is essentially a subset of configuration management. It is usually concerned with the handling changes arising in previous documents as opposed to configuration management which essentially handles the individual components. 24. Good Documentation Management Systems Are Highly Recommended In System Development; Briefly Describe The Factors That Contribute To A Good Documentation Management System? For a documentation system to be considered good, the following factors should be prevalent in it: It should be made in such a way that it can accommodate future changes, including version changes, bearing system security features such as providing access only to the allowed users, i.e. have good authentication features. In general, one should take in data as well as information security measures in place, putting in mind that the documentation should also be able to bend to the changing needs of its users as well as the market conditions. 25. State The Different Software Methodologies? The term software methodology, software development methodology and software process mean almost the same thing in computer software or system development, i.e. the activities carried out by computer system engineers or computer software engineers in an attempt to procure particular computer software that servers a certain function or purpose. This includes the framework adopted, structure, plan as well as the control of the resources engaged in the software or system development process. 26. Describe The Abbreviation Ooad As Used In Object Oriented Programming? The term OOAD is an abbreviation of the phrase Object Oriented Analysis and Design. Contrary to the traditional programming, also called procedural programming whereby the entire code of a given program is written line by line, from scratch. There is a new more powerful approach to software development or simply programming referred to as the Object Technology where predefined objects pertaining to particular situations are pre-designed by experienced software engineers and then the programmers just call them into their code in order to implement a given function in their code. 27. Describe The Meaning Of The Term Data Mapping? By definition, the term data mapping is the process by which a system developer creates data element mappings that relates two models of data (databases) in order to assist in data integration. This usually assists in the following manner: Data mediation or transformation between the source and the destination of data. Assisting in data lineage analysis by identifying the data relationships. Assists in data masking by discovering sensitive data. Assists in data de-identification process. Assists in consolidating multiple databases into one thus identification of redundant columns and advising the developers for consideration or even elimination. 28. Describe The Term Black Box Testing? Black box testing is the type of testing whereby the entire unit is tested as a whole without considering the contents or even how the inner components of the unit under test work, the tester’s only consideration is to enter a known input signal and check whether the output behavior is the one expected out of that unit given his input signal. 29. Give The Importance Of Using A Flowchart? It is easier to interpret as it is graphical in nature and thus all persons involved in the project development can understand it with ease. 30. Briefly Explain The Use Case Model? This is a model used by software engineers to describe the business environment of a given project. It encompasses of a series of workflow that are pertained to a particular actor. 31. What Do You Understand By The Term Uml? The term UML is an abbreviation of the term Unified Modeling Language which is the standard language used in construction of as well as visualization and documentation of varied system components. It has a collection of graphical notation techniques used in the development of abstract models for certain specific systems. 32. Describe The Importance Of An Activity Diagram? This is the diagram used in a business system to show the workflow involved, activities happening as well as the completed actions. In a company comprising of several departments e.g. the medical department, accounting department, and even the human resource department, usually each department has its own peculiar privileges to the system, for instance the medical department can only be allowed to access the screens related to their activities such as medical records while the human resource department will be allowed to view only the screens which are relevant to them too, thus these activity diagrams assist in showing the relationship between particular activities with their relevant and related departments so that during coding, the coders may refer to them to implement the discrepancies accordingly. Designers too can be guided by these activity diagrams. 33. How Many Types Of Diagrams Do You Know And What Do You Know About Them? Am aware of two types of diagrams namely the use case diagram and the collaboration diagram, the use case diagram has been discussed above and as a result I will only talk about the collaboration diagram here, these are diagrams put into being by modeling the objects of a given systems and then representing the prevalent associations between the objects in questions with the use of links. 34. What Is The Main Quality Of A Good Requirement? The requirement should be good, clear, understandable, and consistent and should be easily verifiable. 35. What Do You Understand By Uml? UML is basically Unified Modeling Language. This is the standard language used in the system to understand, document, construct different components in the system. 36. What Are Different Diagrams To Be Known By A Ba? Entity relationship diagram, data flow diagram, use case diagram, class diagram, activity diagram, state chart diagram, sequence diagram, collaboration diagram, component diagrams, deployment diagrams etc.. Use case diagram: basically explains the business environment. Series of all related actions performed by actor. Activity diagram: Used in the early stage of analysis and designing level. It describes each individual component. Sequence diagram: It tells the objects interactions with each other’s arranged in time sequence. 37. Where Did You Use Rational Rose & Requisite Pro? When we created different modules of requirements for different functions, and finally collected all together and made a single requirement document, we used requisite pro to do this. And we used rational rose to create the business model as a visual representation. 38. What Do Understand By Version Control & Configuration Management? Basically version control is a part of configuration management. Mainly it handles when the previous document changes. Where as configuration management handles the individual component. 39. What Are Different Software Methodologies? SDLC, RUP, SEI-CMM, Six sigma, SWOT, Cost benefit analysis, Risk analysis, Gap analysis. 40. What Is Ooad? Object oriented analysis and designing. Used in coding od object oriented languages like c++, Java, and SAP Basis etc. 41. What Is Uat? User acceptance testing. If the UAT fails, BA did not understand the requirements properly. 42. What Do You Mean By Data Mapping? It is the mapping of data from source system to a destination system. 43. What Is Black Box Testing? It is completely a functional testing. i.e the tester need not know how it works technically. He only bothers what input he is giving and what output he is getting. 44. What Do You Mean By White Box Testing? It requires slight programming knowledge to examine the outputs. 45. What Is Bug? Mainly used to see the performance issues and system hangs. 46. How Do You Measure The Quality Of A Product? We do it by seeing min bugs in the product according to standards maintained by company. 47. What Is Rad? It is called as rapid application development. It is a development process that is used to build applications in smaller periods like 50-70 days i.e with some compromises. 48. What Is Etl ? Extraction Transformation and loading. Used mainly in data warehousing. 49. How Do You Resolve Issues? I would rather focus on issues and the facts related. Origin of issue, severity of the issue, implications and possible solutions to solve the issue. Try not to focus on the person who brought up the issue. Another important part is how to avoid similar issues in future. 50. We Have Met Several Business Analysts. Why Are You The One We Should Hire? Give definite examples of your skills and accomplishments. Be positive, and emphasize how your background matches the job description. Mention any software packages and spreadsheet software you are familiar with. Also let them know if you have advanced knowledge of any of the software. 51. What Are The Qualities You Have That Makes You Suitable For The Position Of Business Analyst? As a Business Analyst, one always have the top notch communication skills. A perfect mix of technical knowledge and business market knowledge is highly essential. I consider myself a very quick learner and with a good ability to communicate with the development teams and the customers, I think I can certainly make a good difference to the organization on the whole. Ability to deal with conformance tests and identify the prominent parts of the use cases and track them through time will make me more than efficient in the overall work that is involved. 52. How Do You See Your Future As A Business Analyst? I have always liked the career of Business Analyst not just because of the management perspective but also because of the responsibilities that would be held in order to make the entire project successful one.. Growing with the organizations success as a more prominent and effective analyst has always been in my mind right through. I would also like to take up the BA certifications like the PRINCE 2 in the near future. This would help me grow in a field that I like most, in a more professional way. 53. What Do You Think Is An Important Characteristic That A Business Analyst Should Have To Tide Over Tough Times Of Project? The first and foremost character that a Business Analyst has to show is confidence. Without that aspect, the interactions with customers and clients can never be positive. Especially during the rough times of project when there are development related issues that are being handled, the customer has to be given the right positive picture from the business/development perspective. This has to be done and handled by the Business Analyst. Not just self-confidence but the confidence that he places on the other teammates come into prominence. 54. How Would You Make Most Sense Out Of The Business Requirements To The Developers? The following steps will detail out the procedural way of professionally dealing with this: Identify the scope of the project. Take out the key features expected by the client. Reason out the most critical aspects of the system that has to be built. Depict the business use oriented UML diagram and derive it further to the specificity of what is needed from the technology side of development. Detail out the use cases that will make the input from client clear to the developers. Refinement should always be done with peer discussions. Activity, work-flow and data-flow diagrams are of immense importance in detailing out the requirement. Identifying the best modeling technique and representation of the deciphered Client input will finally go through to the Development team across series of meetings. 55. What Are The Most Important Software Tools That Ba Should Be Accessing To Coordinate The Team Through The Project? The most important tools are meant for diagrammatically representing the project through its various phases. In this sense, the most important software tools are: MS-Word: Requirement gathering and discussions will customers will mostly be through Word documents, be it the marketing or business document. MS-Visio: This will be one of the most important tool that every BA has to have knowledge about. This will help you coordinate the project at every level of development. IBM-Rational Suite: This is a good tool to get good representations of requirements gathering and other functional diagrams. Other Testing Tools: Most of the time it is better to get involved in the QA tests as a Business Analyst. So a good knowledge about the QTP, Load Runner etc will be of use. Other than these, MS SharePoint, SQL databases will also find good use in the career of the Business Analyst. 56. How Does A Business Analyst Play An Important Role In The Initial Stages Of The Project? To do it right the first time, has always been the motto for projects that are running under a tight schedule. To find out the right requirement thus is important. Translating the requirements from client to the developers is essential for the project to kick off on the right note. If this stage goes off-track, then you can be jeopardising the future of the entire project. 57. What Are The Different Documents That Can Come Across To The Business Analyst? The documents that are responsible to be completed as a Business Analyst may include: Study of Feasibility. Scope & Prospect of Project. Business Requirements Document. Functional Requirements document including UML, Activity and dataflow diagrams. Fact sheet for constraints from technical side (as prescribed from client). Testing phase documents including QA Test requirements, plan and types of tests that have to be considered before delivery. 58. What Are The Things That Have To Be Considered While Writing A Business Document? Never should we bring out the small glitches on the top. We have to see through the eyes of the business persons and should always try to instill confidence in them, as much as we have on ourselves. As what they expect is the outer level of details, we should bring out the expectation, assumptions and other such criteria into picture clearly. 59. How Can A Ba Be Of Assistance To The Marketing Team? The BA has a good share of both business knowledge and technical knowledge pertaining to a specific domain. So when it comes to marketing a product or procuring a project, he can give his views and prospect oriented perspective in a more acceptable manner to the customers. This makes him a good advantageous role in marketing department of an organization. 60. Ba Is The Bridge Between The It And Non-it Persons When It Comes A Software System. Does It Mean That Decision Making Responsibility Can Be Rested His Hand Entirely? No, that is not the advisable case. Every BA has to take the decision regarding business/technical aspects of a project only after discussions and meetings with the appropriate members of the team. In this way meetings and team discussion come off as the most important aspects of BA’s decision making capabilities. 61. What Is A Flowchart And Why It Is Important? Flowchart shows complete flow of system through symbols and diagrams. It is important, because it makes the system easy to understand for developers and all concerned people. 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