#can you imagine going to juillard at the same time as him and just seeing this cutie patootie awkward man walking around

[fantasticalleigh]

every time i eat rotisserie chicken i think of adam driver because of this

[moonlightobrien]

You're My Home - Stiles Stilinski AU Part Five.

Prompt: “How am I supposed to decide this? How can I possibly stay without mom and dad? How can I leave without Winston? Or Stiles? This is too much. I don’t even understand how it all works, why I’m here in the state that I’m in or how to get out of it if I wanted to. If I were to say, I want to wake up, would I wake up right now?”

Warnings: Angst!!

Relationship: Stiles Stilinski x Reader.

Word Count: 2741

Author’s Note: I FUCKING HATE TUMBLR!! Other than that, hey everybody, I love this series so much and I love writing it so much, I hope you all enjoy this chapter as much as I do. Disclaimer: had to re-uploaded it 3x!! Also I apologize for this chapter to be this long to be published, work is keeping me busy plus other things on my mind. Enjoy!

How can I chose this impossible decision that defines the rest of my life? How can I leave the people I love the most, but how can I stay knowing that the family I loved so deeply is gone and to never return ever again? I’ve never asked for this to happen to me, why does life have to turn so unexpectedly that you don’t even know why this happened to you, all of these confused emotions running through my head making my head pound with so much anxiety in my heart, I am so scared, terrified even knowing that if I do end up staying then my life will be different, Y/N won’t be able to smell the delicious coffee that her mother makes, she won’t be able to hear her father jamming out to his old band or Winston being his goofy, silly self with Dad. Y/N won’t get to experience it all - she won’t be able to be with Stiles hearing his amazing drum skills, she won’t have those perfect, romantic moments with him. But, if she ends up leaving, all Y/N can think about how her family will feel and how Stiles will feel and that one word is pain.

___

Being with Stiles was like learning to fly. It was exciting and scary, all at the same time. That spring was a magical time.Stiles's band was playing bigger clubs and festival in different cities. Once he graduated, they started getting booked even more. By the fall, record labels were taking notice. People were taking notice of me too. I was the first high school student ever invited to perform solo at the college's fall recital. And even though Stiles was away a lot, when he was in town, we spent all of our time together. “I can't believe I'm stuck at school for another year.”

“It’ll go by fast.” Y/N smiled at him, he was so cute. “You still thinking of applying to Lewis & Clark?” I ask with a smirk on my face, “Yeah, of course. I mean, they have a great music program.”

“I need someplace with financial aid.” Is he saying what I think he is saying. “Maybe we can live around the corner from each other.” Stiles gives a smile to her beautiful girlfriend. “Or we could shorten the commute and get a place together.” Y/N loved that idea, she couldn’t imagine a world without him, she truly loves him like she never loved anything else in the world. “That actually sounds kinda perfect.” Both of them smiled at each other, Stiles leaned in pressing his lips to hers.

__

“Sir, I told you, you can't go in there.” The nurse said, Stiles was getting more angry, he doesn’t understand why he can’t go in there, that’s his girlfriend so he should be able to go inside, What do you mean I can't go in there? This is bullshit.” He yelled at the nurse. “Sir,

you can't be in there. You need to calm down. ICU visitations are restricted to immediate family only. Are you family?” She questioned. “Alright, you got me. I’m not family.” his voice was getting edgy, this is so ridiculous! Just let him in! “Do I need to call security?”

“Adam.” Allie called, Stiles went up to her wrapping his arms around her crying into her shoulder, he wants Y/N to be alive, he wants to see her smile, he wants to hear her theories, he wants to hear her voice, she wants to see her.

__

“Dad, can I ask you a question?” Y/N ask. “Always.”

“Do you ever miss your band and being in your band?”

“What brings this up?” he asked wondering why Y/N is asking this particular question. “You always say that you left your band to become a better dad. But you were a great dad when you were in the band. You didn't have to give up something you loved so much just for us.”

“No, baby, l didn't give anything up. I played that adventure out, and then it was time for a new adventure with you guys. And sometimes you make choices in life, and sometimes choices make you. Does that make any sense?”

“Yeah. I mean, I think that the piano was a choice that made me.” Y/N realized that the piano was made for her specifically, it chose her. The piano was the reason why she was chose for Juillard, the piano was the reason for everything. “There you go,”

“Do you think the band would ever relocate?” she asked. “No, why?”

“I don't know. To see someplace new. Maybe New York. ”I can't imagine. Portland's where we're from, you know'?” Y/N’s father said, “Oh yeah.”

“I'm going to buy all of these albums,”

“Whoa. The whole three bucks? Slow down, big spender.”

__

Y/N was playing the piano getting ready for her audition, she was a nervous wreck - her heart was pounding in her chest so crazy that she thought she wasn’t even breathing. “Whoo!!”

“Mom, Seriously, that just makes me more nervous.” My nerves were in shock, my heart was in my stomach, it felt like there wasn’t any oxygen in my lungs on how nervous I am right now. “Sorry. Just ignore me. Yeah. Just pretend we're not here.”

“Dad, honestly, how was that one?” Y/N answered so nervously. “I thought it was fantastic, Y/N.”

“You say that about everything.” Y/N said annoyed, does her parents understand that this is the biggest opportunity of a lifetime and if she screws it up, they will never give her another one ever again, so this is a BIG DEAL. “Because you're awesome. They have to give you an audition.”

“Yeah, but you don't understand.This is Julliard. This isn't just some punk album where you can throw music at a wall and hope it sounds alright.” Y/N took a second and realized what she just said to her father, she obviously didn’t mean what she just said, it’s just all the pressure on her, she is just overwhelmed by everything that is going to happen to right now in this moment. “I'm sorry. I really didn't mean that This is pointless. I'm not good enough.” Y/N put her head down removing her fingers from the keys not saying anything until her brother Winston comes up to her, “I thought the last one was amazing.” he said, “Really? I think I can do better,”

“Then let’s do it.” Y/N nods at her brother and looked at her father, “Yeah, let’s do it.” Y/N nodded her head putting her fingers back on the keys starting to play.

THE NEXT DAY

“I miss you every time you go.”

“It'll just be a few days. Maybe more.” It still hurt Y/N that Stiles had to leave, but she understands why. “Well, I know you guys are gonna kill it at City Limits.”

“Are you sure you can't come? I'm pretty sure I can fit you in Adam’s guitar case.” Y/N chuckled at the thought, “I would, but I got school.” Like that, the school bell rings for the students to go to class, “Wow. Never thought I'd hear that again.” He chuckles. “Come on, man, we gotta hit the road. Okay.” One of his bandmates said. “I'll be back before you know it. Okay.” Y/N nods. Stiles smiles at her, giving her a quick kiss before he leaves. “Come on. We gotta go.” Stiles pulls away entering the van shutting the door behind him. Y/N goes up to the window, “Bye, I love you.”

“Have fun, love you too,” with that the van started to drive off, Y/N started walking to the school entrance already missing Stiles.

Later on that same night, Allie and Y/N was at the coffee shop drinking their usual drinks as always, “So what's the what's what from Austin? Hear from Adam?” Allie said taking a sip of her coffee. “No. I called him, I haven’t heard anything since.” Y/N started to be worried about him, usually Stiles answers his calls, “It's fine. I mean, he's slammed. Life on the road.”

“Don’t give me that face,” Y/N is happy for Stiles with his band skying high with his music, but at the same time, she is so scared of losing him to some other rocker chick. “Mmm! Speaking of the devil.”

“Hello?” On the other line, Y/N can hear people screaming, having a good time, laughing, sounding like a party, “Hey, babe.”

“So, you all rich and famous now?” she questioned. “Not yet. But Merge Records made an offer to sign us. It’s been crazy.” Y/N was shocked, a record label signed his band, “Shut up. That's amazing, Stiles.” She can’t believe that his band got a record label, that’s huge!! “Yeah, they're throwing us a party right now.”

“Well, I miss you.”

“Dude! You got champagne all over my phone!” and then the connection ended, “Hello?”

The Following Night.

“Y/N, wait.” Stiles stopped playing his drums for a second to see Y/N, he missed her so much, it was insane. He couldn’t wait to see her face again, “Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”

“No worries. Just bringing food for you guys.” Y/N has been waiting to tell Stiles that she got a audition for Julliard, she just couldn’t. “Oh, cool - Thanks. We're just getting ready for tomorrow night. It's gonna be a total homecoming. It's our first gig in town since we got signed.”

“Stiles?” this is it. This is the moment where she needs to tell him, “Yeah?”

“I applied to Julliard.” she smiled, she was so excited for this to happen in her life, she never thought that in her wildest dreams that she will applying to this amazing school. “What?”

“Yeah, it’s a amazing school and this can be a chance of a lifetime..” her heart was building with so much excitement yet so much nerves how Stiles will react. “Isn’t it in New York?”

“Yeah,” she said. “Why didn’t you tell me?” he ask, “Well, I tried but I figured, why tell you until it was real?”

“Okay. So why you telling me now?”

“Well, I got an audition. In San Francisco.” his eyes went wide by the surprising news, “Wow.”

“Julliard. Y/N, that's... Way to go. That's cool.” he gives a smile to her, at the same time, he was angry at her for not telling him, “Yeah, well, I won't get in. But it's kind of a big deal that I even got an audition. Most people don't.” she shows a smile, she is so excited that she can burst. “Well, Yo Mama better watch his back. Right?” Y/N giggles at his response.

The homecoming concert was different than any show the band had played. They were tighter, better, more confident than ever before. And Stiles seemed, well, like he was becoming a full-blown star.

The band finished up their song, Stiles stepped down from the stage going towards me, “You guys were insanely good up there.”

“Well, I’m glad that you could make it.” A bunch of fans came to him trying to get his autographs and pictures which I didn’t mind, “Can I get your autograph?” a blonde chick said. “Yeah, sure.” she pulls her hair away from her boobs, “Oh wow, okay.” Stiles ended up signing it which made Y/N leave, she couldn’t believe what he just did, it is feeling like he is turning into the person I fell in love with.

“If you're so bored you have to read, maybe you should've just stayed home.” Stiles said angry at her, “I'm just trying to get some homework done. And researching what phrase I'm gonna have tattooed over my left boob. What's all this?”

“We got booked last-minute to do a string of shows in Seattle. We gotta leave tonight, so…” he continued packing his instruments in the trunk, “For how long?”

“I don’t know...a week? maybe ten days? Hard to say..”

“Yeah, but we had plans. Remember? For my birthday dinner?” how could he forget? Is this fame changing him so much that he doesn’t care or anything. “Oh, shit. Sorry.”

“Well it's fine. I just wish you would've told me.” Y/N was getting more than annoyed, why is he acting this way? “What, like you told me about Juilliard? And for the record, I didn't even hear about the tour until tonight right before the show, so…” Is he being serious? It wasn’t easy for me to tell you Stiles. “So that's what "Glad you could make it" was all about? That's why you're so pissed at me?”

“Why would I be pissed about you going to a school 3,000 miles away'?” Y/N was getting heated. Does he not understand that this is my chance to live out my dream. “I'm not going there, Stiles. It's just an audition.”

“Which you didn't even tell me about, Y/N! And besides, this isn't about Julliard. This is about you ditching on our plans. You're a liar.” ARE YOU KIDDING ME! “Whoa! Screw you, Stiles! I haven't ditched out on anything.” Y/N yelled. “Am I crazy, or did you say that us getting a place together would be perfect? Huh?”

“It’s…” tears started to swell up in my eyes, I can’t believe that he is acting this way, “No, you know what? It's fine. Whatever.”

“What? You get to follow your dreams, but I can't follow mine unless I have your permission? And I just have to sit here and wait around, hoping that you'll come home every few weeks? How is that fair?” Y/N wiped the tears away from her eyelids, her heart breaking every second. “You lied to me, Y/N! We had plans. One minute, it's one thing. The next minute, it's the other. I grew up with that shit, okay?I don't need it.”

“Even if I do go to Juilliard, we can figure it out. Baby, we can text and we can Skype…”

“Skype? Skype? Jesus, Y/N! Have you ever even had a long-distance relationship? It's bullshit. Okay? It's like dating a ghost. But Skype, it solves everything right? You know, you're so naive, man. You don't know shit about the world.” Tears went down my cheeks like a river, this isn’t him or maybe it is - whatever it may be, this shouldn’t be happening. “I can't believe you just said that to me.”

“What? You want me to write it down.” they stared at each other for a moment of hurt in their chests, his bandmates were calling his name to get in the van, Stiles started to walk away from her. “No! No. You cannot leave me like that!” Tears kept rolling down her eyes, she was so hurt by him, but she didn’t want to lose him either. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because I am terrified of losing you!” They stared at each other with a look of anger, and hurt. Stiles looked down, “You know what? You do your thing. I'm gonna do mine.” Is he being serious??

Her heart was shattering piece by piece, it felt like she couldn’t even breathe, “Fine, but for the record, you're the one who's getting in the van.”

“Yeah, whatever.” he shuts the door behind him, then they drove off. Y/N beings to cry, she couldn’t believe that happened now the question is, what are Stiles and her now?

__

“Mr. and Mrs. Hall?” the nurse called, everyone was on their feet waiting for Y/N’s conditions. “Yes?”

“So, Y/N’s still unconscious. The respiratory therapists are going to run some tests to see when they can wean her off the ventilator.”

“So, that's good news.” Grands asked, “If she can breathe on her own. With comatose patients, the first 24 hours are critical. If she shows any signs of awareness…” Stiles couldn’t hear anymore of this, his heart breaking with so much pain inside of him - he started tearing up. “Stiles..”

“I’m sorry, I gotta go.”

I love you Stiles, but I don’t know how long I can go with staying or going, but just know that I love you so much and I never stop loving you.