#can we pretend i still have playdates every other day with my best friends and we make cupcakes and accidentally burn popcorn?

[the-woild-is-y-erster]

i think i need someone (my mom) to tuck me in like i'm a little kid again

[shemarmooresfedora]

Rebuilding Family

Summary: Y/N and Spencer were college sweethearts at Cal-Tech but once Spencer got accepted to the FBI Academy, he ended things deciding it was not fair to make Y/N wait for him. When they meet again years later, he discovers something unexpected.

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Fem! Reader

A/N: this may be my favorite chapter yet. i originally was going to delay this chapter a day but the wonderful comments gave me motivation to write. i beg of you to play the song when i write it starts playing...enjoy!

Masterlist

Chapter 12

“Yes, yes, yes!” Spencer excitedly left the hospital, immediately calling you.

“Y/N Y/L/N” you answered, having not checked the caller ID first.

“Guess what?” Spencer smiled.

“Hi Spence. What?” your tone instantly became lighter across the phone.

“The doctor cleared me. I don’t need crutches anymore!” Spencer exclaimed.

“Oh my god, that’s great! I know how much you hated them,” you responded.

“Yes, I did not like not being able to help you with Jo as much. But do you know what this also means…” he prompted.

“What?” you asked.

“I will actually be able to walk around and

take you on a real date ,” he beamed.

“Looking forward to it,” you grinned.

“How about tonight?” he asked excitedly.

“What about Jo?”

“JJ’s,” he replied quickly.

Clearly, he had already thought this through completely.

“Okay. I’d ask you what time you’re picking me up but we are both living in the same place right now so I’ll see you at home,” you giggled.

“See you at home,” he repeated with a massive smile plastered on his face.

-

“Mommy, why can’t I come?” Jo pouted, clinging on to your neck as you brought her out to the car.

“Me and Daddy are going to do BORING adult things,” you pretended to snore, “You don’t want to come, Baby J. You get to go have a fun playdate with Henry. I’m so jealous.”

You buckled her in and closed the car door, feeling arms wrap around your waist.

“Boring?” Spencer asked, feigning hurt.

“So boring,” you teased, giving him a kiss.

“You look beautiful by the way,” Spencer earnestly looked into your eyes.

You opened your mouth to respond but there was a faint knock on the car window.

“The princess is getting impatient,” he chuckled, climbing into the driver’s seat.

-

“Hi!” JJ greeted the three of you at the door as you set Jo down who immediately ran inside in search of her best friend.

“Thank you for watching her,” you said.

“Oh, of course. Don’t worry about it! Now, go! Don’t waste any more of your night off talking to me,” she ushered you away.

“Bye! I’ll text you when we’re on our way back to get her,” Spencer waved.

Spencer then grabbed your hand, interlocking your fingers and pulling you back towards the car as your head fell back in delightful laughter.

-

“You know it’s funny,” JJ said to Will as they were watching you two out the window, “Before I even knew that they had a history together, I was considering setting them up together.”

“What made you think that?” Will questioned, “I mean they’re both very nice people but I wouldn’t have thought about that.”

“I don’t know. I just felt like there could be something between them...turns out there already was,” she smiled.

-

Spencer pulled the car up to a beautiful patio dining area overlooking a lake. It was dusk and the sun was setting so stringed lights were hung up all around the tables.

“Spence, I heard it takes like a year to get a reservation here,” you looked at him incredulously.

“I have my ways,” he kissed your hand, “Come on.”

You walked up to the hostess with your hands interlocked.

“Dr. Spencer Reid for two,” he politely said to her.

“Right this way,” she guided you to your table with menus in her hand.

Spencer, ever the gentleman, pulled out your chair for you. You thanked the hostess but your eyes never left Spencer.

Once Spencer was seated, a silence fell over the two of you.

“This is kind of an awkward first date because we already know everything about each other,” you admitted.

“Yes, we are doing things a little backwards but at least I know I already love every single thing about you,” Spencer smiled.

You blushed, “Ditto.”

“Hey there,” the waitress approached your table, “What can I get started for you both?”

“I’ll have a glass of red wine please,” you said.

“I’ll just have water, thanks. Also, can we get spring rolls as an appetizer,” Spencer asked.

“Sure thing, I’ll be right back with those,” she wrote your order down in her notepad and left the table.

“Why am I surprised you remembered my affinity for spring rolls?” you laughed.

“I know it’s technically impossible for me to forget anything but even if I didn’t have an eidetic memory, I still wouldn’t forget a single thing about you,” he spoke.

You felt your cheeks heat up yet again.

“You have always had a way with words, Dr. Reid,” you took a sip from the wine glass that the waitress placed in front of you to hide your bashful grin.

-

You were headed back to JJ’s after a wonderful dinner. You were on a backroad and it was starting to drizzle. The radio was playing softly as you played with Spencer’s fingers in your hand.

Signed, Signed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder began to play through the radio. Spencer excitedly turned to look at you.

“This is our song, remember?” he beamed.

“Yeah, I remember,” you giggled.

Before you know what was happening, Spencer had pulled the car over and turned the radio up loudly.

He let go of your hand and exited the car.

“Spence, it’s raining!” you laughed.

“Good thing we have a dryer at home. Come on!” he walked around to your side, opening your car door and offering his hand.

You accepted and he pulled you out of the car, twirling you around. You danced around hand in hand, splashing in puddles without a care in the world.

You and Spencer were both singing at the top of your lungs, occasionally breaking from the lyrics to let out a joyous laugh. As the song faded out, he dipped you down, smiling widely. You slicked his wet hair back as he pulled you in for a kiss.

You didn’t know how long the kiss lasted but you finally pulled apart when there was a loud honk in front of you. A car was stopped in the road, waiting for you to finish your makeout session in the middle of the street.

“Sorry!” Spencer called out to the driver as you both giddily ran back to your car.

You kissed him once more once you were back inside the safety of the car.

-

You were grinning like fools when Will opened the door.

“Do I want to know?” Will chuckled, gesturing at your soaked clothes.

“I think it’s better if we keep it to ourselves,” you smiled.

JJ came around the corner with a sleepy Jo in her arms.

“Well it looks like you two had fun,” she said as she handed Jo to Spencer.

“Thank you again. If you guys ever want to go out, we can watch Henry,” you offered.

“It’s really not a problem but we may take you up on that some time. Have a good night, guys,” JJ smiled.

“Daddy, why are you wet?” Jo asked curiously.

“Mommy and Daddy had to walk in the rain back to their car after the long meeting,” Spencer pretended to sound unamused as to not let the child know about your fun night without her.

“Me and Henry had mac and cheese for dinner and then we played dinosaurs and then we watched Finding Nemo,” Jo informed you both on the drive home.

“Well it sounds like you had an exciting night,” you smiled.

Once you got home, Spencer offered to tuck Jo into bed while you changed out of your damp clothes.

You peeked into the room just as Spencer was giving her a kiss on the forehead and getting up from the bed.

“I should go,” Spencer spoke softly.

“Or...you could stay,” you offered quietly.

Spencer smiled, “The latter sounds much better.”

“Now go change into sweats from my closet before you catch a cold,” you ushered him into your room.

You went downstairs to give Spencer some privacy, turning the kettle on to heat up and taking out two mugs.

You slowly made your way back upstairs with two warm mugs of chamomile tea. You tapped slightly at the door before entering.

“Thank you,” Spencer accepted the mug into his hands, giving you a quick kiss.

“I’m going to put our clothes in the dryer and then I’ll be right back,” he said, taking a sip of the tea before setting it down on the nightstand.

Spencer returned a few minutes later, getting in under the comforters and wrapping one arm around you. You both sipped your tea in a comfortable silence as the rain continued to pour down outside.

“Chamomile tea’s health benefits include protecting against diarrhea, nausea, stomach ulcers, and gas,” Spencer stated.

“Ever the romantic, Dr. Reid,” you giggled, resting your head on his shoulder.

[sokkas-therapist]

I can’t tell it this is the best au I’ve ever thought of, of the worst…. Either way,

Au where Izumi is Sokka’s adoptive daughter!

It takes place when she’s around 6 years old, and as cute and sweet as can be! She was adopted when she was a baby, so she doesn’t really have any recollection of her birth parents. And you know what? What the heck, since we’re headed into that time of year, this all takes place during the holiday season!! Somehow Izumi wanders off while her and Sokka are supposed to be shopping, and bumps (like literally *bumps*, she was running…) into Zuko in the middle of the holiday isle at the grocery store. There’s the

Izumi: 😀

Zuko: 😀

Izumi: 🤩

Zuko: 😨

Moment, so obviously she runs back to Sokka like “OHMYGOSHPAPAYOULLNEVERGUESSWHATJUSTHAPPENEDCOMESEECOMESEEEEE” And she practically drags him over to see a mortified Zuko, and a similar reaction ensues, but instead it’s “oh my gosh you look like my daughter-” “yeah, we kind of established that”

Obviously, they can’t just have this interaction and then pretend like nothing happened, so Sokka invites Zuko over to their house so they can continue this conversation in a place that’s not the middle of a grocery store. After a long talk they come to the conclusion that yes, he’s almost positive Izumi is his birth daughter. Something to do with Mai telling him she was pregnant soon after they broke up (they broke up because they were both too gay for this, not because they hated each other or anything like that) and she moved away so he never got to meet Izumi. But, he had heard, because they’re still best friends and talk all the time, that she decided she wasn’t ready to be a mother and gave Izumi up for adoption.

It’s also concluded, in Sokka’s head, that this man is very very pretty and smart and wonderful and he can’t ever say any of these things out loud. It’s also concluded, in Zuko’s head, that Sokka is amazing and beautiful and handsome and he loves his laugh and he can never say any of these things out loud.

After hours of talking, and Sokka telling Zuko everything about Izumi and showing him a million pictures of her (he’s proud of his daughter, ok??) they exchange phone numbers… for Izumi’s sake of course!!

After Zuko leaves, Sokka talks to Izumi to see how she feels about it, because this whole situation is crazy, and they don’t even know if Izumi would be interested in seeing Zuko again. She 100% is, and now wants to see him all the time, and asks if he can live with them, and if she can see him tomorrow- All the things little kids say when they have no idea how the real world works. Obviously, Sokka declines her request for this complete stranger to move in with them… but he wouldn’t be against seeing Zuko again <3

They make it a habit to see each other once a month, so that Izumi gets to see him of course! No other reason. Then once a week… only because Izumi begs them too! Then they start meeting up while Izumi’s at school, or a sleepover, or a playdate, and eventually admit their feelings for each other.

In the end, Izumi does get what she she wished for. with Zuko living with them, and joining their little family, and she gets to see both her dads every day. ❤️

[ronnie-azumane]

Flower Rings

Hello everyone! I'm here with another Anisylum collab! This is the first time writing for my OG anime husband, so please go easy on me. But yeah! I hope y'all enjoy and check out the other works from the other creators participating!

CW: Abuse/beating, fluffy hurt/comfort, ATTACK ON TITAN MANGA SPOILERS, mentions of trauma, suicide, and death.

Life in the ghetto wasn’t a walk in the park. Sure, life could be worse, (Y/N) could be going hungry at night, slowly turning into skin and bones. (Y/N) could be shivering the night away in a flimsy tent with a single blanket to keep warm.

Although it’s a little hard to be grateful for what you have when it feels like the oppressor is always watching your every move.

It doesn’t take a genius to see the lack of justice in these ghettos provided by the Marleyan regime, however, young (Y/N) didn’t pay attention to her oppressors as much, they’re only a child after all. Why would they even want to be concerned about politics when the neighbors are playing a game of kickball?

Almost like clockwork, every week at precisely 5pm, the children born in the ghetto would gather in a courtyard and play kickball, with the ball being an old ball accidentally thrown over the fence years ago and the bases marked by old linens.

Kids of all ages gathered as usual at the court yard to divide out the teams and begin their game of ball. (Y/N) wasn’t the youngest there, but at seven years old, they were still young and scrawny, so it was no surprise that (Y/N) was one of the last ones picked.

(Y/N) sighed in relief, however, when they saw that Reiner was on their team. Reiner was three years older than (Y/N), and pretty much tied to their hip. Since both their mothers were friends growing up, they always had playdates together, playing with various figures and creating these elaborate plots to go along with them.

“We’re on the same team? Yes!” Reiner celebrates, jumping around excitedly as any ten year old would.

“You’re only celebrating because you’re too chicken to face me,” (Y/N) teased, sticking their tongue out.

A succession of ‘am not’s and ‘am to’s was promptly stopped when one of the older kids shouted that the game was about to start. Team Black would be kicking first while Team White would pitch.

(Y/N)’s favorite part of the game was kicking, so finding out that the Black Team was kicking first was music to their ears. They ran to the line, getting as close to the front as they could. Reiner held back, as he preferred catching the ball and running fast to get someone out.

(Y/N) was finally up to kick. Team Black had an out and kids on second and third base. If they scored, their team would get their first point.

The ball bounced a slight bit as it made its way toward (Y/N). (Y/N) wound back their leg and hit the ball back, aiming in between the second and third base. The ball flew and (Y/N) sprinted to first base.

What (Y/N) failed to realize was that Jameson, the eight year old boy that had a personal goal of making every day miserable for (Y/N), was waiting by first base.

As they ran toward the base, Jameson positioned himself to where his foot would ‘accidently’ get in the way of (Y/N)’s footing. Sure enough, (Y/N) stepped on his foot, causing them to lose their balance and fall to the ground before hitting the base.

“What the hell, (Y/N), you stepped on my foot!” Jameson shouted, landing a kick in (Y/N)’s side. (Y/N) yelped in pain as they curled into themself.

“You put your foot there on purpose,” (Y/N) sniffled as pain-filled tears leaked from their eyes.

“So what if I did? You still should have avoided it,” Jameson landed another kick to their side.

Reiner, who was zoned out looking at a bee buzzing around, snapped back to reality when he heard (Y/N) yelp in pain in the distance. Before he could think, he found himself running over to the two and punching Jameson square in the face.

Before Jameson could retaliate, Reiner picked up (Y/N) from the ground and ran away from the game, carrying them on his back. Deciding it was not worth the effort, Jameson let them run off as he got back to his game, but not before the team captain of the day switched him to outfield as punishment.

With (Y/N) on his back, Reiner ran to their self proclaimed happy place, if you could call anywhere in the ghetto happy. Near the entrance gate, there was a patch of grass where wildflowers grow, giving them a taste of the natural world that was unknown to them within the walls of the ghetto. He set them down and plopped next to their shuttering frame.

“How are you feeling, (Y/N), are you hurt? Do we need to go to the doctor?” Reiner asked.

“I’m hurt, but I don’t want to go to the doctor.”

“Are you still afraid that the doctor is going to give you a shot?” Reiner teased.

“Shut up! Needles are scary!” (Y/N) whined, causing Reiner to giggle.

Soon enough, the pain in (Y/N)’s side began to fade, and they focused themselves on making a flower crown while Reiner watched the Marleyan soldiers outside the gate train.

“My mama wants me to be a warrior, but I’m not too sure that's what I want to do,” Reiner sighed, lying all the way back on his back.

“How come? Isn’t becoming a warrior one of the best things an Eldian can do for Marley?” (Y/N) asked.

“Yeah, but that would mean I would have to work really hard, while buttheads like Jameson would get to play and make fun of you. It wouldn’t be fair!”

“Why are boys like Jameson so mean anyway? My mommy told me that it just meant that he liked me, but why would someone be mean to someone they liked?” (Y/N) asked.

“Is that a thing?” Reiner asks.

“That’s what mommy says,” (Y/N) finished their flower crown and unceremoniously flopped it onto Reiner’s head, earning a giggle from him. “I wouldn’t want to marry a guy like Jameson, I would want to marry a guy like you, Reiner, who’s nice to me.”

“Then how about we make a promise?” Reiner asked.

“A promise?”

“Yeah, like, we promise to marry each other now, and once we get big we actually do it?” Reiner’s cheeks were now bright red.

“Yeah! I like that! I promise to marry you, Reiner,” (Y/N) extended a pinky out.

Reiner crudely plucked a flower from the ground and tied the stem around (Y/N)’s finger. Reiner’s fingers were chubby and unskilled, so the flower ring didn’t turn out as pretty as the crown, yet (Y/N) still stared at it.

“And I promise to marry you, (Y/N).”

XXX

Reiner ended up joining the Warriors a few years later, to the dismay of (Y/N). The flower ring had since shriveled up beyond repair, but (Y/N) refused to let go of their promise, thinking that if the flower stayed in their possession, it would guarantee Reiner’s safe return home.

However, the mission that was estimated to take the four warriors a year or two to complete turned into a major failure with rumors stating that only one of them was making it home. However, (Y/N) didn’t have the time to mourn her lost friend, Marley was still causing conflict in both the battle front and the home front.

It wouldn’t be until after the Rumbling ended when (Y/N) would meet up with Reiner again. He was in the area negotiating peace with some other nations, and decided a late lunch and catch-up session with his childhood friend was in order.

“So, how was going through puberty like on an island without modern medicine?” (Y/N) asked shamelessly.

“What happened to hello?” Reiner asked, causing (Y/N) to erupt in laughter.

“I’m just sad I didn’t get to witness voice-crack Reiner,” (Y/N) wiped a tear from their eye, causing Reiner to groan.

They then began to catch up, retelling all their experiences from the past thirteen years. Reiner went into detail as to what it was like training with the man who almost killed all of humanity, his trauma, and even his suicide attempt while (Y/N) retold moments of agony in the ghetto, their dad getting drafted for one of the countless wars, and even confessed that they and Jameson dated at one point.

“You! And him!” Reiner stuttered.

“Apparently my mom was right, Jameson pretended he hated me because he couldn’t decipher his own feelings. Dumped his ass a while ago though, he started spending all his money on alcohol.”

“So I’m assuming you’re not seeing anyone?” Reiner asked.

“Not at the moment, why do you ask?”

“Well, (Y/N), I may have had ulterior motives to this lunch,” Reiner pulled out a small box from his pocket and set it on the table, inviting (Y/N) to open it up. Inside was a ring, with the centerpiece shaped as the flower that he tied onto (Y/N)’s finger all those years ago.

“What is this?” (Y/N) stuttered.

“You probably don’t remember, but one day, I gave you a flower ring with a promise. I’m sure it’s long gone by now.”

“Yeah, lost it in the rumbling. Are you really proposing to me right now?”

“No no no! This is just a reminder of that promise we made that afternoon. That promise helped me push through all the hardships I faced,” Reiner flailed his arms a bit, getting slightly flustered.

“So, a promise ring?”

“I promised I’d marry you, didn’t I?” Reiner asked as he pulled out his pinky. Smiling, (Y/N) slipped on the ring and interlocked their pinky with his.

“You did, Reiner, you did.”

[all-my-love-for-harry]

I should’ve kissed you.

Summary: Perhaps is never too late to chase after the love of your life.

Word count: 5.8k

a/n: i don't have anything against camille, i don't know her and couldn't care less about her but she was the last person harry dated so to make it accurate i used her for the timeline.

you can find the rest of my masterlist here.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

Friends that could've been more if only destiny wasn't against them. More often than not, we find ourselves thinking about the 'what if's in life, trapped in a living fantasy of what our lives could be if only we'd play of cards right.

For some, the universe isn't entirely against them. Like it's the case of Harry, someone who was able to achieve things he'd never thought he would. Someone who, at plain sight, had everything a person could've ever asked for.

Money, fame, status. You name it, he has it. What nobody told him, was how lonely it could get once you've reached the top. You have millions of hearts beating just for you, but the only want you really desire.

Y/N and Harry met when they were six years old. Harry pushed her by accident in the playground, what resulted in her falling facedown to the floor. The then little boy felt so bad when he saw her knee bleeding even though she had told him it was fine. Ever since that day, Harry never left Y/N's side, following her like a shadow.

Harry wasn't by any means a shy child, however he didn't have a lot of friends besides Y/N, claiming he didn't need anyone else as long as he had her.

From playing in the playground every day, to playdates in each other's houses, to dates in the park. They spent their childhoods together at all moments.

When their children's phases were over and they no longer played hide and seek in Anne's living room or spent hours in Y/N's mum's backyard running around, the two of them stayed closer than ever.

Anne and Y/M/N didn't want to be the type of mums who tried to pair their children up just because they spent time together, but it was hard not to when you saw the way Harry looked at Y/N, like she hung the moon and the stars. They'd say the pair of friends would end up together sooner or later, but as years went by, Harry and Y/N remained as what they already were, best friends.

Their feelings for each other remained unknown, always thinking their bond was purely platonic to the other and their feelings were one sided.

When Harry turned sixteen, his mum made him audition for the x factor. Y/N went every single day before the audition to assure Harry how talented he was, making him sing her songs all the time. And he'd gladly do so, always loving the way her eyes lit up every time he sang to her.

The day of his audition, she was there holding Gemma's hand while wearing those matching t-shirts to support Harry. She was the first one he wrapped around his arms once we returned backstage, squeezing her oh-so-tight until she told him she couldn't breathe.

Y/N was there every step of the way, never missing anything and always being there when Harry needed her, as a friend.

When Y/N had her first broken heart, Harry was there to pick up the pieces. When she got accepted in her dream school he was the first one she called.

They had this unspoken rule about approving each other's partners, always making sure the other one liked them before becoming serious with that person.

For most of the time, it worked. Sometimes Harry would be a little stubborn and wouldn't listen to Y/N at first, and the majority of the time he'd come back to her with a broken heart for her to fix.

Y/N was more someone of serious relationships, not entirely comfortable with doing the whole sleep around deal. When she was twenty she met a guy a couple of years older than her, started dating him soon after they met and after three years they were still together.

For Harry, things were a little different. He dated occasionally but never anything serious since he was always busy when he was in the bad, but when the band went on hiatus he started looking for someone he could go home to.

That's when he met Camille. Harry had a tendency to catch feelings way too easily and when he fell for someone, he fell hard. This wasn't always convenient, but at the end that's who he was. The first time Harry told Y/N about her was during a phone call. He sounded so excited, going on and on about how great she was, and Y/N wasn't one to question Harry's judgment (most of the time), so she believed him.

Y/N was in Los Angeles when she met Camille for the first time. The three of them went out for dinner, Harry's request. Y/N wasn't expecting much of her, honestly. She didn't put high expectations on what Camille would be like, and after they met at dinner, she was glad she didn't.

Camille wasn't entire horrible. To Y/N, she'd come off as a little bit... rude. And superficial. Her sense of humor wasn't exactly Y/N's cup of tea, and she could see it wasn't Harry's either as he'd try his best to force a laugh every time Camille'd say something that was supposed to be funny but would come out as rude or inappropriate.

Y/N met her again a couple times but her opinion didn't change much. Being completely honest, Y/N thought they wouldn't last. Harry was on tour and Camille had her own life and based on what her best friend would tell her, they didn't get to see each other as much. But Harry was pretty convinced their relationship could work.

That same year but a couple of months later, Y/N went through a rough patch in her life. Her boyfriend of almost four years dumped her for someone his age, saying she wasn't what he wanted anymore.

That was the first time Harry wasn't there to heal her broken heart.

She tried to call him, she really did. One time she called him during a concert and the other time Camille answered the phone to say Harry was sleeping.

So Y/N had no choice but to suck it up.

Harry had a short break from tour and decided to go home for a bit, having missed his family a lot. When he arrived, he wasn't surprised Anne had family and friends over to welcome him.

Looking around the room, Harry looked for the one person in specific. "She's outside." Anne said, knowing exactly who he was looking for. Harry flashed her a smile and walked through the back door that went to the backyard. He found her sitting on one of the swings they used to play with, looking at the ground.

"Hey, stranger." Harry said, taking a seat on the other swing next to hers. Y/N looked up, offering him a half smile. "How have you been?"

"Been better." She simply said.

"Why didn't you call me?" He furrowed. Harry didn't much about her breakup since he never answered her calls, instead he found out through Gemma.

"I tried, you never answered." She wasn't looking at him and he hated how depressed she seemed but hated even more not knowing the full story behind her broken heart.

"You called one time, Y/N." He insisted.

"No. I called multiple times. Camille answered the phone once and said she'd tell you to call me back, but apparently she didn't tell you"

Harry was confused. He remembers checking his history call and Y/N's number being there only once. "Are you sure? Because she'd have told me if you called"

"Are you sure about that?" She questioned, finally looking up.

"What does that supposed to mean?"

"Forget it." She said, trying to get up from the swing but Harry took her forearm, stopping her.

"No, I’d like to talk about this now. You never told me you opinion about Camille, Y/N."

"Is because i don't have one." She sat back, shrugging off her forearm from his embrace.

"You don't like her." He stated, looking hurt.

Y/N sighed. She was too emotionally unstable right now to deal with this, so instead of lying, she told the truth. "No, I don't."

"Why?"

"Do we have to do this?" Harry looked at her, sternly. "She's rude, Harry. And inappropriate. I don't feel comfortable being around her, that's why I’ve cancelled every time you want the three of us to go out." Y/N looked at him in the eye.

Harry didn't know what to say. When it came to Y/N, he'd have expected a simple 'i like her as long as you do' as that had been the answer she'd always give him.

But this, this was different. She truly did not like Camille and was voicing her opinion to him, not even trying to pretend to like her for his sake. He didn't know how to react, completely unaware of the damage is next words would bring.

"Perhaps if you took the time to get to know her, you wouldn't be so judgmental." He furrowed, feeling attacked. "Seriously, Y/N, you're the only one who come across as rude by canceling every time i say she'd come too."

"You asked for my opinion, Harry. I gave it to you so can we please be done with this?" She felt a massive headache coming and the last thing she wanted was start a fight deep down she knew she'd lose.

"How can i be done with it now that i found out you hate my girlfriend?" He sighed, angrily. "You know what i think? I think you're acting like a proper bitch just because Seth dumped you and you can't stand seeing anyone else around you happy!" he shouted. "Why can't you feel happy for me? Not everyone is a complete asshole like Seth turned out to be, so I’d appreciate if you stopped badmouthing my girlfriend."

Y/N froze in her place. The words that came out of Harry's mouth had the solid purpose to get under her skin. But instead of making her angry like he'd have expected, he saw the exact moment her eyes filled with tears, her upper lip started trembling and that's when he knew he went too far.

She nodded, processing his words before standing up from the swing. She walked hurriedly inside of the house and despite hearing people call after her, Y/N went straight to the front door and slammed it behind her as she went out. Never once looking back.

Even Harry heard the noise she made when she left, so he stood up from his seat and almost ran inside. When he didn't see her, he panicked. Harry never thought she would actually leave the house before they could talk through the issue, she was never one to run out of her problems, but then again she was hurting and wasn't in a good place emotionally after Seth broke her.

Not that Harry would know any of that. And now he understood that. He was so quick to go for her throat that he never noticed how sad she actually was. He was too focused on talk about himself and his relationship that he never asked her how she really was.

"Mum, i fucked up." Harry came to Anne, tears staring to form in his eyes. "Y/N left." He added.

"What did you do, Harry?" She did see her storm out of the house and immediately knew the two best friends had a fight. Although she wasn't sure she wanted to know what made Y/N so upset. "Wait, don't tell me. Whatever it is i'm sure you'll fix it."

"I need to talk to her tomorrow." Harry started tugging on his hair.

"Why tomorrow?"

"I don't think right now she would appreciate my presence, mum. I'll let her cool down and I’ll go find her tomorrow"

Except Y/N did want Harry's presence in that moment. She felt like she was about to drown in her own sorrows and although what Harry said also hurt her, there was nothing else she wanted more than one of his healing hugs. She sat down in her car for twenty minutes, thinking Harry would go after her, but he never did.

Driving all the way from Holmes Chapel to London in the middle of the night didn't sound like the smartest plan ever, but Y/N needed to clear her mind and in all honesty, she just wanted to go home. She knew she would need to call her mother and give her an explanation for her sudden absence but she'll deal with that in the morning.

Right now she wanted to take a bath and get drunk on a bottle of wine. And that's exactly what she did as soon as she crossed the door to her home. She dragged herself upstairs and towards her bathroom, not without making a quick trip to the kitchen to find the alcoholic drink before she did so.

It was only after she was settled in the tub, loads of bubbles surrounding her when she allowed herself to fully cry.

Of course she wanted Harry happy, she'd give up on her own happiness in a heartbeat if that meant he'd be happy. Y/N couldn't help but feel protective over him, his heart has been broken too many times and to be honest she was growing tired of just being there to pick up the mess.

She has given up so much for him, and although she didn't always receive the same from him, she understood and still loved him unconditionally.

But perhaps picking him over herself wasn't something she was willing to do anymore. She had her own broken heart to deal with and wasn't sure if she could heal Harry's once his relationship was over.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

First thing Harry did when he woke up, was try to call Y/N. One, two, three, four times and none of those she'd pick up.

He walked the short distance between his mother's house and Y/N's mum's house, hoping to find her there. Much to his surprise, her mom opened the door, giving him a sympathetic smile.

"Hello, Harry."

"Is she awake yet? I need to talk to her." Harry said with a shaky voice.

"Y/N's not here, love. She left last night."

Harry furrowed. "In the middle of the night? Has she called you?"

"I wasn't thrilled either but she has, honey. And she told me she made it safely."

Harry nodded. In his head, he was already packing his bags to drive back to London, the only thing on his mind being Y/N. He thanked Y/M/N and rushed back to Anne's house. When he entered, there was someone else waiting for him. Harry was confused as to why his girlfriend was standing in the middle of Anne's living room with a suitcase next to her.

"Camille?" He asked, approaching the woman.

"Hi, baby." She went for a kiss but Harry was too confused to return it. "Aren't you happy to see me?"

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, don't be rude. I came to surprise you. Now, get my suitcase upstairs, please"

He wanted to tell her he had to leave, fix things with his best friend, but somehow words didn't come out when he opened his mouth. Maybe it was because Camille would start to ask questions, and it wouldn't be the first time she'd accuse Harry to pick Y/N over her, so he kept quiet.

Anne was throwing him looks, silently asking why he hasn't talk to Y/N like he promised he would. Now, don't get her wrong, she was her son's biggest supporter and although she shared with Y/N almost the same opinion about Camille, Anne chose to not say anything and try to make an effort to like the girl.

Harry stayed the whole week in his hometown with his girlfriend, pushing the thought of Y/N at the very back of his head. He tried sending her messages but she never answered them, he tried calling but it always went straight to voicemail. If Harry wouldn't stop by her childhood home to ask her mother about her during his morning runs, he wouldn't have any idea of how she was.

By the end of the week, Harry was finally packing his bags, ready to go. What he wasn't counting on was Camille telling him they'd go back to Los Angeles.

"It's one dinner, Camille." He told her.

"But i really want to go. I've already told everyone we'd be there." She insisted. Harry didn't want to fly all the way to LA just for one stupid dinner with a bunch of people he didn't like. "Do you have anything more important to do or what?"

"I..." He paused. "I have to talk to Y/N."

"Then call her like you always do." She rolled her eyes, growing annoyed.

"It's kind of an important conversation, actually. I can't do that over the phone."

"Who's your girlfriend, uh? Because you're always ready to drop anything to go after her like a lost puppy!"

"That is not true. She's my best friend, Camille. I've known her since we were six."

"Well, i don't like her." She crossed her arms, staring at Harry. He shifted uncomfortably on his place, not knowing what to say. "Do you love her?"

"Of course i do." He said immediately. Camille raised her eyebrows, making him quickly add. "But not in the way you're thinking. We're just... close. Always been."

"Perhaps a little too close."

"What do you supposing?" Harry furrowed his eyebrows.

"If you want this to work then you need to spend less time with her, Harry. I won't compete with her, do you understand?" She stated.

Harry didn't know what to say. She was giving him an ultimatum he wasn't sure he could do. Stay away from Y/N was never something that crossed out of his mind, ever. He didn't want to stop seeing his best friend but he didn't want to break up with Camille either.

Sighing while putting his suitcase down, Harry nodded. Camille smiled, pleased with his decision. "I do this for us, babe. This weird codependency you two have needs to stop. We're only going to grow closer, you'll see."

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: 

It was like that, how a few days turned into a few weeks that then turned into months of no communication between Harry and Y/N.

Gemma had heard the entire argument that day, and she still was surprised and shocked with her brother's choice. She had called Y/N to tell her, hoping she would make Harry understand how wrong he was, but all she received was silence from the other end of the line, followed by a quiet 'thank you for telling me' before Y/N hung up.

To her, Camille made him choose. And he chose his girlfriend over her. She wanted to be mad, she wanted to cry and throw things, but she couldn't. Instead she respected Harry's decision, like she always does. She wasn't sure how she'd erase over fifteen years of friendship, but she'd try her best if that meant Harry would be happy, even if that didn't include her in his life anymore.

To Harry, things only went worse. Every day he woke up feeling emptier and emptier. He was angry all the time, never wanted to go out or do anything besides giving his concerts then going straight to his bedroom to go back being miserable. He couldn't recognize himself in the mirror, him and everyone else around him.

Every time Camille wanted to visit him, he'd throw a random excuse and say things were too busy. Of course she knew something was up and she knew exactly the reason why he was acting like he was. As he looked sadder and sadder in his concerts, fans started to wonder what had happened to him. Some assumed they broke up, and deep down Harry wanted those rumors to be true. But if Camille disappeared from his life, then he'd be completely alone. He no longer had the one person that has always been there aside from his mum and sister. He no longer had that one person that was the exactly reflection of who he was. He no longer had Y/N, and he wasn't ready to admit out loud he was the only one to blame for that.

During those darks, lonely months he realized something. Every relationship he's ever had in the past, never worked because Y/N was always in his mind. Y/N wouldn't say this, Y/N wouldn't do this, Y/N wouldn't be like this. His past partners never made the cut because he'd always compare them to the best person in his life. He didn't see it back then, but now he did.

He was in love. Truly, madly, deeply and foolishly in love with his best friend.

A couple of shows before tour ended, Camille decided to surprise Harry and fly all the way from LA to whatever city he was in. When he opened the door of his hotel bedroom, he was confused to see her standing there. "Surprise!" She exclaimed, throwing herself at him.

"Camille, what are you doing?"

"Uh, surprising you?" She said in an obvious tone. "Jesus Christ, at least pretend you're happy to see me."

"I'm sorry. How was your flight?"

Harry welcomed her into his room, wheeling her suitcase by the end of the bed. His room was kind of a mess because yesterday he drank too much and became a complete train wreck. Camille looked around, scanning the mess they were standing in but didn't say anything.

He had a concert to do that night, and they had to be at the arena so Harry could get ready. There wasn't much Camille could do besides sitting in his dressing room and wait for him. During all the night, he seemed slightly off, distracted thinking about Camille. Seeing her kind of triggered all the memories from Y/N and that night at his mother's house that he was yet to apologize for.

In his mind, he blamed her for everything. However deep down he knew he was responsible for that. There were so many other way he could've handled the situation, but back then he didn't think straight, he thought what he had with Camille was worth losing Y/N. Bad thing he learned too late nothing was worth losing her.

"I want to go out tonight." She had told him after his concert ended. "We can go to a club or something."

"I'm not really in the mood for clubbing."

"Then let's go have dinner."

"Not hungry either." He said as he opened the door of the hotel room.

"Then what do you want?"

"I'd like to take a shower and sleep." Harry started unbuttoning his shirt, dropping it off on the floor when he was done.

"Don't be boring. I didn't come here to sit around and do nothing fun."

"I didn't ask you to come." He blurted in a harsh tone. "I'm not in the mood, Camille."

"Is this because you're not friends with Y/N anymore?" She asked, crossing her arms across her chest. "I thought you'd get over it, Harry."

"Well, I won't!"

"I can't believe after all this time, i'm still competing with her for your fucking attention!"

"What else do you want from me, Camille?!I turned my back on her for you! What else do you want me to do?!"

"I want you to understand your life does not revolve around her! I'm your bloody girlfriend, dammit!" She shouted angrily. "Your obsession over her is not healthy. I did everything i could to make you see that. She doesn't understand it either. God, i even went as far as deleting your history call because i knew... i knew at the first opportunity you'd jump on a plane to her fucking rescue."

"You did... what?" He barked angrily. Suddenly it all made sense. Y/N was mad at him because she thought Harry was ignoring her when in reality Harry never saw her missing calls. Camille's eyes widened, she knew she said too much. "Why the hell would you do something like that?! You didn't have any right to go through my phone like that."

"I did it for-"

"Cut the crap! You didn't do it for me. I can't believe you're this psychotic kind of person. Do you have any idea how much your stupid actions coasted me?!" She stayed silent. "Answer me!" Harry shouted, completely furious.

Several knocks were heard by the other side of the door, followed by Jeff's voice telling Harry to let him in. "What is happening in here? I can hear your screams from my room." He said once the curly haired man let him in.

"Please book a room for Camille and a flight for tomorrow morning for her."

"Harry..." Camille tried to touch his arm.

"No. I'm done with this, with you, with everything.

Harry stormed out of the room, in desperate need of fresh air. He had way too many things on his plate right now, but somehow he felt more relieved now that he wasn’t with Camille anymore. It took him too long to realize he didn’t love her, and the only person he’s ever loved has been always right in front of him.

When he came back to his room, Camille’s things were gone and the room was once again clean. He figured Jeff sent someone to clean it up or something, either way he was grateful. His mind started going places he hasn’t allowed it to go in a long time, old memories with Y/N started rushing through his mind, then he started thinking on how things would be if he never made that stupid choice of giving up on her.

He wanted her back, he just didn’t know how. He wouldn’t blame her if he didn’t want to know anything about him as he felt like the most undeserving person of her love.

He started counting down the days that were left before he could go back to London and do everything in his power to get her back, silently promising her that this time, he will not fuck it up.

*:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･: *:･ﾟ✧ ✧ﾟ･:

First thing Harry did after he gave his last concert, was book the first flight back to London. He asked Gemma to go pick him up from the airport and take him to Y/N’s house. At first, she thought he was crazy but then she heard how desperate he was and she accepted.

“I love you, little brother but you absolutely fucked it up.” She told him as she was driving. “How could you let her manipulate you into stopping talking with Y/N?”

“I don’t know, Gem.” He sighed. “I made a mistake, okay?”

“Do you love her?” Gemma asked the same question months back Camille asked. However, instead of using a harsh tone like his now ex-girlfriend did, Gemma’s tone was soft. Almost as she was afraid to ask the question. The difference was, Harry wasn’t afraid of the answer anymore.

“I do.”

He looked through the window, lost in thought. Gemma nodded to herself, satisfied with his answer. It was about goddamn time, she thought. She crossed her fingers Y/N would at least listen to what Harry had to say as she’d hate if all those years of knowing each other were suddenly trashed away.

Gemma barely parked the car before Harry jumped out of it. “Do you want me to wait?”

Harry shook his head, flashing her a little smile. “It might take a while. At least she’s home.” He pointed at her car, parked in the driveway. “Thank you, Gem.”

“Good luck, lovebird.” She smiled before driving away. Harry let out a big sigh before walking towards her front door. He knocked a couple of times and he could hear her dogs bark from the other side of the door.

Y/N opened the door but froze in her place as soon as she saw him. He opened his mouth but before he could say something, Y/N was already trying to close the door.

He put his foot to prevent it from closing. “Wait!”

“No. What are you doing here, Harry?” She tried to close the door again. “Please, leave.”

“Y/N please, I made a mistake.” He begged.

“Did you now?”

“Please, let me in. I can explain everything, just… please.” He said in a sad tone. Y/N looked at him. He hasn’t shaved his face and his hair was all over the place, his emerald eyes weren’t bright anymore. He just looked… sad.

A big part of her wanted to open the door for him to enter, but another part of her didn’t want to. For the past months, Y/N has really worked on making sure she knew her worth at all times. That no Seths and No Harrys were worth of her tears. She had to live with the fact that she lost both at the same time, making the whole in her heart even bigger.

In any other circumstances, she wouldn’t hesitate on letting him in. But that was the old Y/N. The one who put him above everything else, including herself. That Y/N wasn’t her anymore.  

“Harry…” She started saying. “I’m not ready.”

He looked up at her, his eyes were red from containing the tears, and although he wanted to say more, he respected her decision. “Would you let me know when you are?” All he wanted was a sight that there still was hope for them, and she could see it in his eyes, so she nodded.

“We’ll talk about it… soon. Just not now.”

A few weeks passed since that day and Harry lived every day hopping his phone would ring. He’d send little texts here and there for her, a way of letting her know he still cared and that he wasn’t giving up.

Dragging himself out of the house for the first time in weeks, Harry decided to go to the little coffee shop he used to frequent with Y/N in the past. They served the best coffee according to her, not like all the other overpriced cafés in London.

He smiled at the memory as he entered the place, going straight to make his order. His mind was too focused on other things that he didn’t realize he also ordered Y/N’s usual.

Now he had two coffees and a chocolate muffin, but it was just him there. He looked down at the order again, it made him feel like the old times where he’d stop by the shop before going to Y/N’s to hang out.

Without thinking about it twice, he hopped in his car again and drove in autopilot to her house. He hopped these past weeks had been enough for her to feel ready to talk.

“Hello, Harry.” She said, more relaxed this time as she opened the door.

“May I come in?” He asked. “I… I brought your favorite.”

She gave him a half smile, opening the door enough for him to come inside. He was immediately greeted by her two dogs and the very familiar sight of her home where he’s spent more times than he could ever remember.

“I was hoping we could talk.” He started. “I know there’s a big… big stain in our friendship now and believe when I say I would spend the rest of my life trying to erase it.”

“Why didn’t you go after me that night at your mum’s house?” She finally said after being silent.

“I thought you didn’t want to see me. I went to your mother’s house the next morning and found out you were gone.”

“I waited for you in my car. I thought we could talk it through but then… then Gemma called me and told me Camille gave you an ultimatum. I backed off because I didn’t want to ruin your relationship, Harry.”

“You didn’t ruin anything, Y/N. I did. I should’ve listened to you instead of screaming at you. I said horrible things to you and I’m so sorry. I should’ve play more attention on how were you feeling. I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you needed me.”

She pressed her lips in a thin line, swallowing her tears. “I’m sorry I didn’t support you on your relationship.”

“It’s okay. It’s over.” He said. “I found out she deleted your calls from my phone so I wouldn’t come here to be with you.”

“She told you that?” Y/N was surprised. She had thought about it, but never imagined Camille would admit it.

“She did. I let her manipulate me, but I know it was my fault too. I shouldn’t have let her come between us.”

“She was your girlfriend, Harry. Maybe she was right…” She mumbled, making him frown.

“What do you mean?”

“Harry, all your girlfriends have told you they didn’t like me or the relationship we had. Have you ever thought that’s exactly why your relationships wouldn’t work? You can’t keep choosing me over your partners.”

“Yes, I can.” He insisted.

“No. Perhaps we should’ve keep our paths separated.”

“What? No!” He stood up from the couch and so did Y/N. “Y/N, you can’t ask me to forget about you.”

“Maybe it’s for the best.”

“Says who? I won’t walk away from you, not again. I should’ve done a lot of things since that night, I should’ve known you were right, I should’ve been there for you.” He looked at her with tearful eyes. “I shouldn’t have let you walk away from me. I should’ve… I should’ve…”

His breath hitched, becoming aware of how close they were from each other now. Their noses almost touched as they looked into each other’s eyes, eyes that were full of emotion such as anger, sadness… love.

“I should’ve done this a long time ago.” He whispered before finally closing the distance between them. Y/N gasped before kissing him back with force. She wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing him closer to her and deepening the kiss.

Kissing her felt so foreign yet so right. It was like all the pieces of the puzzle were coming together and he finally knew it was her all along. The only person that’s always been on his mind and the only one who held his entire heart, it was her.

It was only when they were running out of breath when they finally broke the kiss, but didn’t dare to broke the nonexistent distance between them. Y/N smiled for the first time he walked inside of the house, her eyes were notably brighter and she couldn’t help but let out a little giggle, feeling like a school girl again.

“I love you, Y/N. I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it, but I swear I’ll remind you every day of your life how much I do.”

[tinythiefalex]

Playdate

My first posted g/t story! This follows Human Patton and his Borrower son Virgil having a play date with Human Janus’ twin sons Roman and Remus (who are also human)

@arc852

(For context: in this universe borrowers are known and seen as equals)

Words: about 1350

Tw: none I think. Let me know if you find any.

Anyway, on with the story!

————————————————-

Oh no.

Oh no oh no oh no oh no-

Virgils thoughts raced as Patton continued to explain his and his friend Janus’ conversation from earlier that day.

Virgil got the gist of it; Janus wanted to bring over his twin sons, Roman and Remus, for a play date with Virgil. Nothing out of the ordinary, but there was one problem.

Virgil was a borrower.

It wasn’t uncommon to hear about Borrowers and humans living together as roommates, but a human like Patton adopting a borrower child? Completely unheard of. There were just too many problems to name, but Patton was determined to overcome any obstacle for his little son, even if current obstacle was something as simple as a play date.

Don’t get them wrong, the twins weren’t bad kids, but both Virgil and Patton had seen the way they play with other humans.

Loud. Rough. Hard-hitting games of tag and wrestling each other to the ground.

Sure, when playing with other humans this was alright, but Virgil was just too small for that. Too easily hurt.

Patton had tried to explain this to Janus, but he didn’t seem worried, so, eventually, Patton said yes.

“And you said yes?!” Virgil exclaimed, worried.

“Janus said it would be ok, kiddo. And I trust him. Let’s try it out, just this once?”

“B-but…” Virgil trailed off. His head filled with images of how wrong this could go, no matter what Janus claimed about his boys.

“Kiddo…” Patton persisted,”I’m just as worried as you are, believe me, but the twins have been wanting to meet you for so long. We can’t deny them a chance just because of what they are.”

Virgil was quiet for a moment, thinking.

“O...okay. I’ll give them a chance”

A grin spread across Pattons face.

“Wonderful! I’ll call Janus and let him know.”

*time skip cuz I can’t write transitions*

Patton and Virgil were passing the time watching tv when a knock came from the door.

“That must be them!” Patton got up and heading towards the door, leaving Virgil to stew in his worries on the coffee table.

Barely a minute later, Patton and Janus walked into the living room, followed closely by the twins. Both Roman and Remus were carrying huge (to Virgil) duffle bags, presumably filled with toys.

As soon as they spotted Virgil, the 2 kids rushed over and knelt down to greet him.

“Hello Virgil! Nice to meet you!” Roman said with a huge smile.

Virgil stumbled back a few steps when they approached, startled.

Patton, who was sitting on the couch next to Janus, gently placed his hand on the table next to Virgil, trying to reassure him.

“It’s ok Virge, say hi.”

“H..Hi….” the borrower said nervously.

Remus leaned in slightly, his eyes sparkling with excitement. “Do you wanna play?” He asked, careful to keep his volume down for the benefit of tiny ears.

“S-sure. Play what?”

Roman but in, “we could play a board game, or draw, or...uh…whatever you want!”

“Oh umm…” Virgil thought for a moment, trying to come up with a game that hopefully won’t be too much.

“How about….pretend?” Virgil responded, pleasantly surprised they were asking him what to do.

The twins smiled.

“Ooooo yeah! We could...we could play fairytales!” Roman said excitedly. “I could be the knight!” He puffed out his chest.

“And I could be the monster! Grrrr.” Remus growled.

Virgil chuckled, feeling slightly more comfortable around the bigger kids.

“And you could be the Prince, Virgil!” Roman said, suddenly reaching his hand towards the borrower.

Both Patton and Virgil flinched at this, Virgil quickly hiding behind Patton’s hand, his fears returning.

The twins softened at this, disheartened.

“Oh no… I didn’t mean to. It’s ok, Virgil” Roman said gently. Virgil took another look at his hand. It hand had stopped a couple of inches away from where Virgil had been sitting, palm facing up in a clear offering.

“It’s ok.” Roman repeated. “I won’t grab you, I promise. C’mon, don’t you want to start the game?”

Virgil gave Patton a brief glance, before hesitantly stepping towards the hand, climbing on.

Roman smiled softly.

“There you go.” He carefully lifted his hand and carried Virgil to the tv stand, setting him down.

Remus stood up.

Ok! Let’s get started!” He exclaimed, dumping out his and Romans bags. They were filled with costumes, dolls, and more toys than Virgil could name. Roman searched through the pile and found a foam sword, holding it at the ready. Remus found a dragon hood and put it on, growling again, before stopping.

“Wait hold on!” He said, searching through the pile again. He pulled out a little king doll, taking the crown off, and handing it to Virgil, “Here you go Virge!”

Virgil placed the crown on his head. The doll was a fair bit bigger than he was, so he had to hold it up to keep it from falling. Remus gave him a huge, toothy grin, and Virgil gave a more hesitant one back.

Finally ready, the twins leapt into action, hitting each other with their toy weapons.

It should have been frightening, but the twins were surprisingly quiet, doing their best to not startle Virgil with their playing.

Roman landed a final hit on Remus, and the darker twin let out a dramatic “Oh No! I’ve been bested!” falling to the ground in “defeat”.

Roman laughed victoriously, striking a hero pose before going over to Virgil. He hovered his hand near him in a silent question. After a moment, Virgil nodded and Roman scooped him up, exclaiming, “Yes! I have rescued you fair prince! Now we will live happily ever after!” Patton and Janus softly cheered. Remus got up.

“Let’s do that again! But this time, I get to win!” He said.

“No, the monster can’t win! How will we get a happy ending then? How will I save Virgil?”

“It’ll be more interesting, and Virgil will just be stuck with the dragon forever!”

“I’ll come back and beat you then!”

“You can’t just ‘come back’ that’s cheating!”

The twins argued back and forth as Virgil thought.

They kept arguing until they heard a quiet, “Well….”

They turned to Virgil, the borrower having gotten their attention. Virgil nervously continued.

“How about… well… um… I was wondering….could I maybe...be the knight?”

The twins were quiet for a moment, before their eyes lit up wide.

“Of course you can!” “Oh yes! That would be fun!” Roman and Remus answered, Roman quickly but carefully setting Virgil on the ground before going through their pile again.

“It should be right….aha!” He exclaimed, pulling out a tiny, plastic sword from another doll. He handed it to Virgil.

“There! Every knight must have a great weapon!”

Virgil laughed, turning to point the sword at Remus.

“Have at thee beast! I will save Prince Roman!” he shouted. Remus got right into character.

“Not if I have anything to say about it. ROAR!” He pretended to blast fire at Virgil, who quickly dove out of the way of the imaginary attack.

“Not so quick beast!” He ran towards Remus’ knee, hitting it with the sword.

“Ah no!” Remus cried. He pinched the back of Virgil's jacket, lifting him up and placing him about a foot away again.

Patton flinched when this happened, about to say something when Janus placed a hand on his shoulder, shaking his head and gesturing to Virgil, who was still laughing and dodging pretend fireballs.

Patton sighed, sitting back, still worried.

Eventually, Virgil landed one last hit on Remus’ hand, causing him to shout in imaginary pain.

“Nooo! I can’t believe you defeated me! There’s no way! The prince is yours!” He said, sinking down before playing dead.

A big smile spread across Virgil's face as he turned to Roman, who cheered.

“You saved me, great knight! Three Cheers for Sir Vee the Brave!”

Janus clapped his hands and cheered along with the boys, and Patton grinned as they quickly set up the game again.

Maybe this playdate wouldn’t be so bad after all.

And there you have it! This is my very first writing so please let me know if there’s anything I could’ve done better. Constructive criticism is greatly appreciated. Thank you and I hoped you enjoyed reading!

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 2

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: none

Words: 2.0k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: have a treat for getting through another week of 2021 :)

Part 1 <- Part 2 -> Part 3

Series | Masterlist

A couple weeks had passed since [y/n] saw Zuko. When her parents asked how their reunion went, she said it went well. What she didn’t say was that all her excitement plunged down the drain the moment Mai and Azula showed up.

Her mom quickly found out about Zuko and Mai’s relationship. It wasn’t surprising. All the girls in the city dreamed of dating Zuko. Such a rumor would spread like wildfire. When it was brought up, [y/n] pretended to be happy for them. She didn’t want her parents to know that she was heartbroken. She didn’t need them to know her secret.

As the days went on, [y/n] pushed her feelings away and did her best to move on. Once again, work kept her mind distracted. And soon things went back to normal...until a messenger hawk landed on the window sill.

“[Y/n]!” Her mom called from the kitchen, “you have a message from Zuko!”

[Y/n]’s heart began to race. Despite her sorrow, she still got excited to hear from him. It was a nostalgic, like when she was a child waiting for that invitation to have a playdate. She left her bedroom to retrieve the note from her mother.

Dear [y/n], I’m sorry I couldn’t take you up on your offer to spend the day together. I’ve had a lot going on now that I’m back. Today, my father told my sister and me to take a vacation. We’re going to Ember Island, and Mai and Ty Lee are coming too. You should join us! Please let me know if you can come. Your friend, Zuko

[Y/n] had mixed feelings about Zuko’s invitation. She could count on one hand how many times she went on a vacation. The thought of taking a break and getting away from the city seemed nice. Zuko would be there too. Although he didn’t like her back, they were still best friends. It could be fun. However, his sister and his girlfriend would be there as well. That could ruin the trip.

[Y/n] shook her head. She was overthinking it. Zuko dating Mai wasn't the end of the world, and he wanted her to be there, so she should go. It would make him happy, and she truly valued his happiness. Surely [y/n] was capable of repressing her crush and not letting Azula get to her. She would be fine.

That was probably an overstatement.

The trip was...okay. Zuko was glad that [y/n] accepted the invite. However, his sister wasn’t too thrilled (though that was to be expected). Also, as expected, Mai was practically attached to Zuko. [Y/n] watched them from afar at the beach. She had to admit that she was at least a little jealous...maybe a lot.

“Here, this is for you,” Zuko said to Mai, handing her a seashell. Mai glanced at it and gave Zuko a snooty look.

“Why would I want that?”

“I saw it, and I thought it was pretty. Don’t girls like stuff like this?”

Yes, of course, [y/n] thought. She would’ve been over the moon if Zuko gave her a seashell.

Mai scoffed. “Maybe stupid girls.”

[Y/n] frowned. Was she a stupid girl? She sure felt stupid for coming here.

“Hey, beach bums! We’re playing next!” Azula shouted to Zuko and Mai, pointing to the people playing kuai ball. “Ty Lee, get over here!”

[Y/n] and the others gathered around Azula.

“Uh-uh,” Azula put her hand out to stop [y/n]. “You’re not playing. Teams of four only, and, besides, you’ll hold us back.”

“Hey!” Zuko barked at his sister.

“It’s fine, Zuko," [y/n] said, putting her hands up to diffuse the situation. "I don’t know how to play, so she’s probably right...” She shrugged her shoulders.

“See? I’m right. Let’s go.” Azula said pompously. She turned on her heel and headed toward the kuai ball court. Everyone else followed.

Watching Zuko and the girls play from the sidelines was normal for [y/n]. As a child, Azula usually let everyone but [y/n] play games with her, then Zuko would get mad, and [y/n] would just deal with it. She didn't dare cause trouble with the princess. But she deeply appreciated Zuko for standing up for her.

As the team of four destroyed their opponents (almost literally), [y/n]'s mind wandered. If I was nobility, I bet I would be playing too...but would Zuko have chosen me instead? Or would he be with Mai anyway?

After spending most of the day at the beach, the group went to a house party. Initially, the party hosts, Chan and Ruon-Jian, invited only Mai and Ty Lee. But, Azula, cunning and determined as always, managed to persuade the hosts to include everyone…even [y/n] to her surprise.

[Y/n] had never been to a house party before. The place was loud and packed with strangers. It was overwhelming to say the least. If it weren't for Mai, [y/n] would've stuck to Zuko's side. But, alas, she watched the love birds sit together, his arm around her shoulder. They were probably having a good time just like everyone else in the room. No one was standing awkwardly alone like [y/n].

Although she could’ve tried to mingle and make friends, she was far too anxious. So [y/n] sought refuge at the snack table. Nibbling on food kept her looking busy, while she prayed to the spirits for the night to go by quickly.

And perhaps the spirits heard her cries for help. Out of the corner of her eye, [y/n] noticed Zuko heading in her direction. Such a simple thing instantly brought her joy.

“Hey!” [Y/n] grinned.

“Hey.” Zuko replied sternly. He barely looked at her. Strange.

“So, um, how are you enjoying the party?”

He sighed dramatically, as he picked out some food. “Oh, it’s great,” he said sarcastically, rolling his eyes.

Something was wrong. Before [y/n] could open her mouth, Zuko turned and walked away. Then, someone bumped into him and all the food fell to the floor.

“Hey, watch it! That food was for my cranky girlfriend!” Zuko snapped. [Y/n] kneeled down to clean up the food (it must have been her housemaid instincts). When she stood up, she saw Zuko run over to Ruon-Jian, who was talking to Mai, and push him. The poor boy almost crashed into [y/n].

“Hey! What are you doing?” Asked a very stunned Ruon-Jian.

“Stop talking to my girlfriend!” Zuko demanded, pointing an accusatory finger to the host. His other hand was tightly balled into a fist. [Y/n] could practically see the smoke coming out of his hands.

“Relax, it’s just a party—”

Zuko forcefully shoved Ruon-Jian back into a tall vase, which shattered to pieces. Suddenly the room fell silent. People all around them stopped talking to stare.

Mai began yelling at Zuko, and Zuko yelled back. They fought and bickered until Mai finally said it, “it’s over, Zuko. We’re done.”

[Y/n] gawked at the commotion. It all happened so quickly and it seemed so out of the blue. As kids, there were times when Zuko had lost his temper, but this was different. She had never seen Zuko rage to the point of becoming physical before.

“Who broke my nana’s vase?!” Chan cried, running into the scene. Ruon-Jian simply pointed to Zuko. Chan turned to him and aggressively gestured to the door. “That’s it! You’re out of here!”

“I was just leaving,” Zuko growled. He stormed out the front door and slammed it.

I better talk to him, [y/n] thought. She quietly slipped through the crowd of partygoers and left the house. Zuko was angrily walking along the path away from the place, hands still in fists and shoulders tensely raised.

“Zuko!” She called to him. He ignored her.

“Zuko, wait!” [Y/n] jogged to catch up to him. Still, Zuko kept walking. “What happened?” She panted.

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

"But--"

"You heard what I said!" He was still fuming and needed to cool down first.

“Okay, okay…" [Y/n] paused before quietly asking, "can I walk with you?”

Zuko hesitated for a moment before sighing heavily. “Yeah, sure.”

Together they walked down the path to the beach. Neither of them said a word. They just silently strolled along the shore side by side. Waves lapped at their feet, providing a nice, calming ambiance. Several minutes passed, then Zuko turned and started up another path. It led up a hill to a large beach house. The house appeared to be abandoned as the garden outside was severely overgrown.

“What is this? Where are we?” [Y/n] wondered.

“My family’s beach house,” Zuko responded in a much more collected tone.

The two walked up the front steps. Zuko tried to open the door, but it was locked. He stepped back and forcefully kicked it open. [Y/n] reluctantly followed him inside.

“We haven’t been here in a long time,” Zuko explained, “we used to come every summer...when we were actually happy.”

A long time indeed. It was obvious that the house had been vacant for many years. Floorboards creaked with every step, a layer of dust coated every surface, and cobwebs hung every corner. A peculiar, stale smell made [y/n]’s nose crinkle.

Zuko extended his hand out and generated a flame. With the dim light, he walked up the large set of stairs in the foyer. [Y/n] followed.

On second floor was a large painting: a family portrait from a different time. Firelord Ozai and his (former) wife, Lady Ursa sat next to each other in chairs. Beneath them sat two children: Zuko and Azula. They looked to be very young, around the age when [y/n] had met them. Everyone was smiling.

Zuko gazed nostalgically. So much had changed in his life since this portrait was painted. It was no wonder his family no longer came here. If one were to pinpoint when it all went downhill, it would be Ursa’s disappearance.

[Y/n] placed a hand on his shoulder. “You miss her, don’t you?”

“Every day,” Zuko mumbled.

“I'm so sorry, Zuko…” she whispered.

“Yeah…” Zuko paused before speaking again. “I'm sorry for snapping at you earlier. And I'm sorry you saw me get so angry at Mai and those other guys.”

[Y/n] nodded, accepting his apology.

“When I was exiled, all I felt was bitter anger and frustration. I thought restoring my honor and coming home would be the only way I could be happy again. Well, I’m home now and I have my honor back, so I should be happy, right? But I’m not, and I don’t know why. Now, I’m just confused.”

“I’m sorry, Zuko” [y/n] said. “I don’t know what I can do to help you.”

“It's okay. I don’t even know how to help myself.”

[Y/n] thought for moment. She had to say something to make him feel better.

“It's not very helpful, but I can tell you this. Everything will be okay. Maybe not now or tomorrow, or even the day after...but if you give yourself time, you’ll figure it out, and then, everything will be okay.”

Zuko turned to [y/n]. He stared at her for just a moment before hugging her. [Y/n] wrapped her arms around him, returning the embrace.

“Thank you, [y/n]. Even after all these years, you’re still here for me."

“Of course...I care about you.” She did, in more ways than Zuko would know.

Zuko pulled away, but kept his hands on her shoulders. He was so close to [y/n], she could almost feel his warm breath tickle her nose. It made her cheeks flush. [Y/n] watched his amber eyes wander all over her face. Everything felt so still and quiet all of a sudden. Even [y/n]’s mind went blank. His lips parted slightly, and she could’ve sworn she saw Zuko lean in a little...

“There you are. I thought I’d find you here—”

Zuko immediately let go of [y/n] and whipped his head around. Behind him at the top of the stairs stood Azula. She cocked her head and crossed her arms.

“Did I interrupt something?” She asked articulately.

“No.” Zuko answered quickly.

“Alright then…come down to the beach. This place is depressing.”

While the three of them returned to the shore, [y/n]’s mind rambled relentlessly.

What was that? Did he just...? No, no, I must be crazy. It didn’t happen. It was nothing. It was dark, my mind must've been playing tricks on me. I was just imagining things. Yeah...imagining it all. He wouldn’t...kiss me…would he?

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12

[unmaskedagain]

Marinette: Crazy Rich

           So in this fic,. If you’ve seen Crazy Rich Asians, you’ll know why as the fic goes on. Also, I totally ripped a few lines from Girl Meets World; fans of the show will recognize them instantly!!!

 They met when they were young; younger than either of them remember. The first time, Marinette and Ali had both in babes in their cribs when their grandmothers’ introduced them. The second time, they just learn to walk and or run, and seemed love making a mess of everything; again not something they could remember but had plenty of pictures of.

The third time, and the one they both remembered, Marinette had been just six-years-old. Ali had been seven. They each were the apple of their grandmother’s eyes. Their grandmothers were best friends having known each other since they were little girls.

It had been a playdate at one of the Young family homes. Ali had worn a dapper grey suit that would look ridiculously expensive on an adult man, let alone a child that just barely learned to tie his shoes. Marinette had worn a darling silvery purple dress that was closer to a ball gown than any dress any other four-year-old girl would wear to a playdate.

           Both kids shyly hid their faces behind their grandmother’s skirts and had to be coaxed softly to greet each other.

Prince Ali bowed regally as he had been taught, “Pleasure to meet you, Miss Young.”  He was a handsome boy with dark-skin, olive-green eyes, and black hair. Ali always wore a charming smile on his face as expected of him. He was a Prince, and while it wasn’t easy, he did what of expected of him.

“It is an honor, Prince Ali,” Marinette curtseyed gracefully. She was a beautiful girl with long black hair and bluebell eyes. She was the essence of a perfect little lady. “We have a wonderful playroom that I would like to show you if you able?”

Prince Ali looked to his grandmother for an answered. She nodded silently, an amused smile on his face. The young prince grinned, “Yes, please.” He held his arm out for Marinette. She took it, a pink blush on her face, and they walked side by side out of the foyer, their perspective bodyguards trailing after them, while their grandmothers’ cooed in the background before departing to have tea.

           The playroom was larger than three apartments combined; it had specific areas dedicated to art, sports, video games, tea parties, a jungle gym built to look like a castle, and even an area just for snacks. In order to get around, there were trampoline paths.

           Prince Ali blinked in awe.

“You get used to it,” Marinette giggled. “Come on!” She grabbed his hand and ran across the trampoline path to the jungle gym. They jumped the entire way, their bodyguard watching from the distance ready to act if something went wrong.

“Call me Marinette,” Marinette said when they made it to the top. She pulled out two foams swords and handed him one. “Or Mari.

“Ali,” He said as he took the sword.

“I’m Pirate Captain Sparkle,” She yelled and pointed her sword. “And you my dreaded rival have come to steal my treasure… Captain.”

“Tiger Eye,” Ali nodded seriously. “Captain Tiger Eye. Engarde!”

           The two pirate captains dueled all over the jungle gym before teaming up to defeat the evil space monsters that came to steal all the ice cream and candy in the world.

           Ali laughed as he jumped into the foam ball pit after a giggling Marinette. They both laid there for a moment trying to catch their breaths as they stared at the ceiling painted to look like the night, each constellation connected.

“You’re not how I imagined,” Ali said.

           Marinette hummed, “Spoiled rotten, uptight, crazy rich brat who only like tea parties and princess things; who’d cry the second I don’t get what I want?”

“Well… yes.”

           She shrugged, “I get that a lot. I don’t know why. If I so much as considered for a moment of throwing a tantrum in public, my grandmother would have me shipped boarding school in Sweden. No matter what my parents said.”

           Ali nodded, “Same. Though, mine would be in Scotland. My mother has a strong fascination with Harry Potter.”

“You’re not what I imagined either.”

“Stuffy prince, that always had his nose in the air,” Prince Ali started, “So he can look down on everyone; that expects everyone to bow and cater to his every whim?”

“That about covers it.”

           He snorted, “My grandmother would have me scrubbing bedpans at one her hospitals the moment I ever said was better than anyone.”

           Both laughed.

“Do you ever get tired of it?” Ali suddenly asked. “Always been told to do this, or that you can’t do that. Always being on your best behavior because of what people would think. I never get to do anything I want.”

Ali was the first grandchild and took after his grandmother Queen Aishwarya with his kind, fun-loving nature, as well as his ability to recognize authenticity in people. Like Aishwarya, Ali would later become a philanthropist who dedicated his time to volunteering at and donating money to child hospitals and leading the go-green initiative in his country. He wasn’t allowed to behave like most kids; never allow himself to be as free as them.

“Shoulders back and stand up straight,” Marinette recited. “Mind your manners, smile for the cameras. Always be clean and orderly. It’s like I’m a trophy. Don’t make a mess. Watch what you say but never let anyone think you can’t say it. Sometimes it sucks. But what I can I do. Can I really cry about it? I’m a rich, only child that gets everything I want… as long as I behave. There are expectations of me, and if I stay, I get shut down.” Hard.

           Marinette spent her childhood split between France and Singapore.  In Paris, she was able to relax as Marinette Dupain-Cheng the daughter of a pair of rather well-known bakers. In Singapore, she was Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Sung-Young or just Marinette Young for short; the granddaughter of Eleanor and Phillip Young, an heir of the wealthiest family in all of Singapore and most of the world. And people, her family mostly, and the paparazzi had expectations of Marinette Young.

           Marinette Young was a Singaporean child socialite. The media referred to her as “The Princess” for her beauty and the impeccable fashion sense she distributed from a young age. She followed her older cousin Astrid to all the fashions, taking her cues from her.

“Yeah…”

           Marinette lift her head to look at Ali, “What do you like to do?”

“I like to help people,” Ali murmured. “I like helping my grandmother at the hospitals and making sick kids feel better. Maybe be a doctor!”

“I like fashion, my cousin Astrid likes it too,” Marinette said. “So let’s make a deal. You help kids. I’ll work in fashion. That’s what we want to do so we’re going to do it. Okay?”

“Deal,” Ali nodded firmly and then looked thoughtful. “Are we friends?”

           Marinette smiled, “Best friends.”

           And so there were. Over the next few years, the two would meet up for playdates frequently. Eventually, Prince Ali would come to know Marinette Dupain-Cheng well too.

           When the playdate ended, Marinette waved goodbye sadly as her new friend left.

           That night, while her grandmother brushed her hair before bed, she asked. “Did you like Prince Ali?”

           Marinette nodded, “Yes. He was very polite and played pretend really well.” She left off the part where he was a dreaded pirate captain because of details.

“Aishwarya and I thought you would like each other,” Eleanor nodded. “I’m glad to see you get along well. Hopefully, you will grow closer as you get older.”

“Why?” Marinette asked curiously. Her grandmother had never cared about whether she would still be friends with her playdates in the future. Normally, the playdates were a way to have a business meeting with it being obvious to the outside world that it was, in fact, a business meeting.

           Eleanor smiled softly down at Marinette, looking less like the elegant scary Dragon-lady the media claimed she was, and more like any loving grandmother.

Eleanor knew she always favored Marinette, her first grandchild; even if she had severely frowned on her oldest daughter Sabine marrying a baker. Though she had frowned less once their bakery became a successful international chain, akin to Gordon Ramsey restaurants. Their headquarters in Singapore. In Eleanor’s defense, they came from a rather wealthy family and with roots of nobility. Who wouldn’t be a little upset if their heir and beloved daughter running off to marry a baker she met in France? Sabine had even gotten Nick and Astrid to help with her elopement.

It would be years before Eleanor manages to quell the snickers and rumors that persisted after Sabine’s departure, and just as long until she was willing to speak with her oldest child again. However, that was mostly because she learned Sabine was pregnant.

Eleanor was in France for the duration of the pregnancy and had loved Marinette instantly the second she was born. Her beautiful granddaughter with hair so black it looks blue in the right light, and bright blue eyes bluer than anyone could even imagine. It’s a wonder, Eleanor, ever let go of her. (But apparently, Tom had the right to hold his child too, or some nonsense like that.)

           Because of her grandmother, Marinette’s childhood was… odder than most. While her parents preferred a more modest lifestyle despite their wealth, her mother’s side of the family… did not.

“Do you know how your grandfather and I met?” The older woman asked. Marinette shook her head no. “We met when we were really young, about you and Prince Ali’s age. Our parents were business partners who believed marriage was the best solidify the partnership, and bring up both of our families statuses. So we were betrothed.”

           Marinette blinked, slowly understanding hit her. “It means engaged right?”

“In a way,” Eleanor nodded. “It meant we were promised to each other and that one day we would marry; uniting our families as one. Do you know why I’m telling you this?”

“The playdate,” Marinette said. “It was a test to see if Ali and could get along. We are to be promised to each other.”

           Eleanor put the hairbrush down. “No. You are promised to each other. We finalized the arrangement today. The official betrothal will be announced after your thirteenth birthday. One day, you will marry Prince Ali. Prince Ali is the oldest child of Queen Aishwarya’s oldest son. Do you know what that means when you marry him?”

           Marinette nodded, not fully understand what being married meant. Or what being betrothed meant but knew it was important. She thought of Snow White and Cinderella, and what marry a prince meant for them. “If I marry Ali, it means one day, I’ll be Queen.”

“You’ll be a princess,” Eleanor correct gently. “Queen Aishwarya’s steps down, which will not be for quite some time, her son and heir will take her place, and then one day Prince Ali will take his father’s place. Then you will be Queen.”

           Marinette grew up dealing with the fact that she would one day be Queen the best way she could; she put it of mind. It wasn’t like her life changed all that much; she just attended more lessons than usual.  Heck, her life changed more when she became Ladybug. So she was engaged to be engaged, so what? All that meant was that she couldn’t date anyone seriously. She could date though, which was what counted.

           She and Prince Ali were still best friends and what girl didn’t want to marry her best friend?

           When Marinette was thirteen, Prince Ali had a surprise visit to Paris under the guise of visiting the local children’s hospital. It was the first time he came to visit without his grandmother with him. And it was the first time Marinette met him without her grandmother there.

           They met at a secluded rooftop restaurant. Prince Ali wore a dark suit. Marinette wore a stylish, elegant red dress, that coincidently matched Prince Ali’s tie. Her hair was pulled back into a messy bun. When they sat down for dinner and a violin started to play, it took Marinette all but five seconds to realize what was going down.

“This is quite romantic. You could’ve had just asked me on a date, you know?” Marinette raised an eyebrow. “I might’ve said yes.”

           Ali gave her a devilish smirk, “As if there was ever a chance you’d say no.”

           His bodyguard huffed a laugh, “He was too chicken to ask.”

“Really, Kalil! Really!” Prince Ali face-palmed in the face of Marinette’s giggles. “It’s not funny,” He told her.

“Yes, it is.”

           Ali sighed but gave a low chuckle, “It’s a little funny.”

           It went silent as each tried to think of what to say.

“I just wanted to-” Ali started.

“I know that this-” Marinette said at the same time.

           They both gave small laughs. Marinette nodded, “Please, go ahead.”

“We’re older now,” Ali swallowed hard. “You’re thirteen now. And I just wanted to… I wanted to know if it was still alright. If you were still open to marrying me?  If not, we should be mature about it. We should let our grandparents know before the announcement. Then we’ll go our separate ways and never talk or see each other again if you want.”

“Save yourselves and our families the embarrassment,” She nodded. Marinette fought now to glance down; to not show weakness, as her grandmother taught her, as her mother taught her like Astrid taught her. She was a Young. Youngs’ were not weak. “Do you want to marry me?”

“I asked you first!” Ali whined, making his bodyguard snort.

“How old are you? Six?”

           He stuck his tongue out, “Six and a half for your information.” Ali shook his head. “When we were little we made a deal. You’d go into fashion, and I’d help sick kids, help people all over the world because it’s what we wanted to do; not what anyone wants us to do. You’re a fashion designer. I’m a philanthropist. Pretty brave of us considering if Nick ever decides to run for the hills, you’d be shipped off to Harvard business school before you managed to make a protest. And if something, gods forbid, ever happen to my father; my grandmother would have me sworn in as the next king before I even buried him. Medical school or not. So let’s be brave again. Let’s only marry each other if that’s what we want. Deal.”

“Deal!” Marinette nodded. “So do you want to marry me?”

“Mari!” Ali groaned. “I asked first!”

“What point being?” Marinette said innocently. “Fine, let’s start with an easier question. Do you like me… like that?”

“Do you like me?”

           Marinette’s bodyguard, Torivana, snickered in the background. Marinette glared. “I… like you, Ali.” Other than Ali, she had only ever had a crush on two other guys; both crushes were short-lived. Adrien, who was regulated to being the brother she always wanted after she learned he was Chat Noir and her parents all but adopted him. And Luka, she realized quickly, with his dyed hair, rock band, and future tattoos was the type of guy her grandmother would have assassinated before she’d let Marinette seen in a romantic relationship with. Plus, it didn’t help that Luka asked her if Adrien was single.

Ali was different though. Marinette had set out in the very beginning to not like Ali romantically, figuring she could break off the promise between the families if it was seen that there was no romantic feeling between the two. However, the more she fought not to like-like her best friend, the more she did.

“It’s you I like, Ali,” Marinette admitted, her heart beating wildly.

           Ali looked at her for a moment, just really staring at her. “I like you too.” And he did. He fell for the blue-eyed badass that was his best friend. He’d known he liked her for the longest of times but was too afraid to tell her. “And I’d never want you to not be a part of my life. If you don’t know if you want to marry me, that’s fine. We can wait. I can wait. If you want to play the long game and see what happens. Okay. I’ll play the long game. Live your life, I'll live my life, I know you're out there... and I'm out there, too.

“That's your deal?”

“That's my deal.”

“Someday?”

“Someday.”

           Marinette leaned forward, “I have a counteroffer.”

“You are definitely Eleanor Young’s granddaughter.”

“That’s a compliment,” Marinette shrugged. She took a deep breath and said, “I want to marry you; not just because of our families but because of our friendship. I think we’d be good together. We are good together. Maybe, I’m not in love with you now but maybe after some dates, whenever you buck up and ask me on a real one, and being girlfriend and boyfriend for a while, maybe I will be. If sometime in the future, when we get older, we change our minds, we’ll figure it out then. You fight my grandma, I’ll take on yours.”

“I want to marry you too,” Ali admitted, a small smile on his face. “You know you can ask me out too, right?”

“I could,” She stressed the second word.

           They laughed and just looked at each other, olive-green eyes getting lost in blue and vice versa.

           It was the sound of a throat clearing that made them jump out of it. Each blushed red as the waiter looked at them expectantly with a raised eyebrow and a smirk on her face.

“We should order,” Marinette said, opening up her menu quickly.

“Totally!”

           They ignored their bodyguards chuckling in the background.

           Outside of the Marinette Young universe, Marinette Dupain-Cheng found it a lot harder to be nice and amicable all the time. For starters, Lila had come back to school. She didn’t mind most of the lies she told. They were annoying, however, after years of dealing with faux-faced people, she could ignore most of them. She could even ignore that al her so-called friends believed them.

           However, Marinette hated, absolutely hated when Lila lied about Prince Ali. The lies were utterly ridiculous but Marinette was overprotective and had half a mind to use every resource to have the Italian Embassy look into all of Lila’s travel claims. But she was better than that. She would not stoop to Lila’s level.

           …

           It took three months for Marinette to lose all her friends in class. They had simpered after Lila and her lies and believed Marinette to be a bully. They stopped hanging out with her, stopped inviting her places, and sent mean texts to her phone causing her to change her number. They openly declared they weren’t her friends anymore.

           Again, this wasn’t something Marinette batted a lie at.  She didn’t care what they did. Or said. As they long as they didn’t go too far, Marinette was fine with ignoring their existence. Should they step the line, Marinette would use everything in her power to destroy them.

           It was a good thing after all. Her mother, Grandmother, Nick, Astrid, and everyone else in her family always taught her to be wary of fame-seekers and gold diggers.

           It was clear that the class wasn’t really interested in what Lila did but the promises of what she could do for them. And if they had to toss aside a childhood friend to get into her good graces then so be it.

           The class was getting ready to depart for winter break.

“Prince Ali and I are going to winter in Switzerland, you know.” Lila lied, causing Marinette’s eyes to narrow. “Every year since we were children. It snows all the time in Zurich. And he just loves it.”

           First of all, Ali hated the cold. It was why Marinette insisted one of their playdates be in the Alps after he broke her favorite china doll; spite, pure spite. Second of all, it didn’t snow all the time in Zurich; barely at all.

           Anyone could fact check the second one. But no one bothers. Not even the journalist of the class, Alya.

“We go with the Young family,” Lila continued. “One of the richest families in the world. I am friends with Lady Eleanor’s granddaughter.”    

           Marinette nearly fell down laughing right then and there.

           At the end of class, her ex-best friend and the class’s new class president, stood up, “Don’t forget everyone, class party at my house,” Alya cast a quick glare at Marinette and Chloe who sat in the back. “At least for those of you invited.” Their other classmates snickered and threw vicious smiles at the girls.

“As if we’d want to go,” Chloe said. “We have plans for Winter break that doesn’t involve going to a last-minute, obviously poor planed party. That never happened in the last class president’s watch.”

           Marinette smirked. “She’s right. We have plans. Chloe’s coming with me to visit my grandmother in Singapore. My family can’t wait to meet my best friend. Luka and Adrien will be attending as well.

           Alya huffed at not getting the reaction she wanted. Also because she never got invited to go to Singapore with Marinette before, and they had been best friends for the longest time. Shows what kind of friend Marinette was! Lila would never do that to her.

           Chloe, Adrien, Luka, Kagami, Ondine, Aurore, Claude, Mirielle, Nathanial, and Marc would all join Marinette for Winter Break. They were surprised when Marinette had offered to pay. Even more so when it was on a private plane.

           Trust Chloe to be the first to say something.

“So you’re rich,” The blond asked.

           Marinette hummed as she reads her magazine, “We’re comfortable.”

“That is exactly what a super-rich person would say,” Claude laughed.

           When they got to Marinette’s home, that was less of a home and more of a palace, they realized just how right they were. Particularly when they saw the dolphins.

“So you’re crazy rich,” Claude correct.

           During Winter break, once they got to Singapore, Marinette officially introduced her best friend, Prince Ali, to her other friends. They got along well, though he was a bit wary of Chloe at first.

At the Young Family New Years’ Eve celebration; which was closer to a giant festival, it was announced that Prince Ali and Marinette Dupain-Cheng-Sung-Young, the only grandchild of Phillip and Eleanor Young, would marry after Marinette’s 21st birthday. The new article was released shortly after; it was filled with pictures of them as children growing up together, depicting their friendship, each family’s wealth, and it told the agreed-upon lie that Prince Ali asked for her hand, as traditional in his country. The media went wild.

Marinette knew the moment it was announced and her picture was released that things would change. She wouldn’t just be Marinette Dupain-Cheng, daughter of bakers. At least she couldn’t pretend anymore. Marinette would be a princess; people talking about her, Ali, and the future royal wedding for years to come.

Once the celebrations had died down, her friends ganged up on her.

“A prince!” Chloe shrieked. “You’re marrying Prince Ali. How could you not tell me! I get to be the maid of honor to a Princess!”

           Adrien glared, “Why are you the maid of honor. I’m practically her brother.”

“Exactly!” Chloe hissed. “Maid of Honor!”

“Oh, this is not over!”

           That night Marinette, with her grandmother’s blessing, gave Aurore the exclusive scoop on the engagement via an interview and an article. Overnight, her blog became internally famous. Magazines and newspapers citing her as a source.

           Returning to Paris had been wild. The moment they stepped off the plane, they were met with the flashes of cameras from the paparazzi; each one screaming her name.

“Marinette! How does it feel to be marrying Prince Ali?”

“DO you think you’re too young?”

“Are you ready to be a princess?”

           Marinette ignored them all as she got into the limousine with her friends. “So that was pleasant.”

“That was insane!” Aurore laughed. “Is it always this bad?”

“No, Singaporean paparazzi are a bit tamer.”

           The limo didn’t head to the bakery. Marinette nor her parents would be living there from then on. Instead, they bought the empty mansion across the street from Adrien’s home. They purchased it when her grandmother let them know the announcement would happen soon; giving them plenty of time to decorate. The gates were heavily lined with security.

“Oh we are so having our next sleepover here,” Mirielle said brightly when they got into the house.

“Are you going to miss living at the bakery?”

“Yes,” Both Marinette and Adrien said, causing Marinette to glare at her friend, “We talked about this; just because I had a bunk bed, did not make it your room too!”

           Adrien huffed but clearly looked like he disagreed.

           Luka chuckled and wrapped an arm around his boyfriend’s shoulder, “Aww, babe. Did the mean girl hurt your feelings?”

“You were my friend first,” Marinette pinched her nose. “Where’s the loyalty?”

           When school started back up again,  Marinette’s limo literally went straight across the street to pick up Adrien.

           Gabriel opened the door before Marinette even had the chance to knock. “Miss Dupain-Cheng-Sung-Young, an honor.”

           Marinette eyed the man. He, while always polite, seemed nicer than she’d ever seen him before. Normally Marinette would fill the urge to fix her casual outfit. But today Marinette didn’t do casual. She wore a tan Cashmere sweater dress, stockings, with black Burberry heals, and a look of boredom on her face. Gone were the pigtails, instead Marinette’s hair flowed down her back. “Is Adrien ready for school, Mr. Agreste?”

“He will be down in one moment,” Gabriel answered. “Congratulations on your engagement. You and Prince Ali make a lovely couple.”

“Thank you.”

“I was unaware there was a Young in Paris,” Gabriel chimed. “I would have loved to arrange a few playdates between you and Adrien.”

           Marinette smiled coldly, “Adrien is one of my dearest friends now. And while an official date hasn’t been set, I do hope I can count your attendance at my wedding. Despite recent… difficulties.”

           Gabriel stiffened, “Difficulties? With Adrien?”

“With Lila Rossi,” Marinette corrected. “A model of yours. She has made several outlandish claims both towards the Young family, Prince Ali, as well as several celebrities. I fear the actions that would need to be taken to… rectify this. I sincerely hope the Agreste brand isn’t hurt in the process.”

           Despite the subtly of her words, the threat was loud and clear. Fix Lila, ditch Lila, or we’ll destroy you.

           Adrien came down the stairs in a rush, not noticing his father’s pale face. He and Marinette, and Gorilla left the older man still standing stunned.

           Gabriel called for Nathalie, “Fire Miss Rossi immediately. Sever all connections, now!”

           After Adrien, they picked up Kagami, whose mother was an old friend of Sabine’s as they had grown up together. Kagami had always known that Marinette was actually Marinette Young.

           The next stop was Chloe who seemed more at home in Marinette’s limo that Marinette did.

           When the got to school the paparazzi were still waiting. The bodyguards Gorilla and Torivana held guarded the children as they entered the school. Damocles was waiting at the door, a simpering smile on his face, and a greedy look in his eyes at the potential donations he could get from Marinette and her family.

           Marinette cut him off before he could even open his mouth, “You expelled me without a proper investigation. Or going through the proper channel because of an ambassador’s daughter threw a hissy fit. You’ll be hearing my lawyers.”

           The man paled so white Marinette thought he had died right then and there. Until she saw him shaking.

           The bodyguards escorted the kids through the halls, where students stopped to watch the future princess pass.

           When they got to class, they saw most of the students waiting.

           The four ignored them and joined Nathaniel in back where they had been sentenced for not believing Lila.

“Girl!” Alya yelled with a grin on her face. “I can’t believe you’re marrying a prince! You should’ve invited me to your family’s party. I’d have loved to come.”

           The others in class nodded. Though Rose did look a bit teary-eyed. That was when Marinette remembered her ex-friends crush on Ali.

“That party was dope, dudette!” Nino added. “How’d you get Beyonce to perform?”

           Marinette smiled, “Shouldn’t you be hanging of Lila’s coattails somewhere. Where is Miss Rossi anyway?”

           Alya shrugged, “She’s a liar, you were right. Best friends with the Young Heir, yeah right. You should’ve just told me you and Prince Ali were a thing, and I’d have believed you.”

“You should’ve fact-checked,” Chloe glared. “It was obvious she was a liar.”

“No one’s talking to you,” Alya glared from where she sat in her seat. “I’m talking to my bestie.”

“Again, Lila isn’t here,” Marinette said. “And last I checked we are not friends.”

           Alya rolled over what Marinette said, “How could you give Aurore the inside scoop? I totally needed that. Ladybug had been ignoring me for months.”

“Aurore’s my friend,” Marinette said easily. “Which is more than I can say for most of you. How was the class party by the way?”

           A few of the students had the grace to blush and look away. Alya wasn’t one of them, “I’m sorry, okay. I shouldn’t have believed Lila.” Alya shrugged. “You don’t have to sit back there anymore. Me and Nino can make room.”

Marinette blinked. How could she not be getting this? “I wouldn’t sit with you if that seat was only one in school not on fire.”

It was at that moment Bustier and Lila walked into class. Bustier seemed oblivious to the tension that seemed the classroom; though she did know all about Marinette being engaged to a prince.

To Lila’s credit, she didn’t blink at the few glares she received. Her eyes on Marinette, half full of greed, half full of jealously. She knew all about the Young family; insanely rich socialites who were the It family in all of Asia. She cursed herself for not researching into Marinette more before declaring the girl her enemy and doing her best to maker her life hell. And now Marinette was marrying a prince.

Lila frowned. No wonder the bluenette always glared at me, She thought, she knew first hand that I was lying.

“Marinette,” Lila said sweetly. “I was so happy and that you and Ali finally revealed your betrothal. I wish you would’ve told me.”

           Most of the class looked at the girl like she was crazy.

“I don’ t like you,” Marinette stated easily. “You do not know Ali. You were not childhood friends. You do not know the Young family. Astrid did not ever come to you for fashion advice. She does not know you exist. As Eleanor’s only grandchild, I can happily say that we are not friends. Leave alone.” She cast a cold look to the rest of the room. “That goes for the rest of you. You happily declared we weren’t friends anymore. Well, we’re not friends anymore.”

           Her declaration rang through the classroom.

           No one said anything to her for the rest of the morning, apart from her friends in class.

           When lunch came, just before the bell rang, there was a knock on the door. Prince Ali stood there, looking as regal and as handsome as ever. “It seemed, I am a bit too early.” He said with a polite smile, though he had been long aware of the inhabitants bullying way.

           The bell rang.

           Marinette smiled, “Just in time actually.” She got up and walked to the front of the class, most of the students too stunned to move.

           Lila jumped at her chance to actually meet the prince, “Oh Prince Ali; it’s wonderful to see you again. My mother spent some time in your country. She worked was an ambassador.”

“And you are?” Ali asked, causing Lila to flush red as another of her lies were exposed.          

           She knew she could’ve easily spun to the class that Marinette was just jealous of her. They’d believe anything. It was a lot harder with the prince there to deny everything.

           Neither him nor Marinette waited for a response.

           They long since vowed to only ever wait for each other.

[ethospathoslogan]

an aftermath (maybe so, maybe not) ; a deceit-centric sanders sides one-shot

A/N: god it’s been a hot minute since i’ve written sanders sides

disclaimer: this is neither sympathetic nor unsympathetic! this is just my personal take on the aftermath of the last video! i am not pushing an anti-light sides agenda, nor am i pushing a pro-dark sides agenda! i’m just vibing!

summary: “If you’re so sure you’re not one of them-” And Remus took one final step closer, backing Janus up against the wall “-Why do you care that they don’t like you?”

(Remus pays Janus a visit on April 13th)

WC: 2,102

content: some talking, some arguing, open-ended (neither fluff nor angst)

read on ao3 (every other fic here has a solidified completely-happy ending!!)

-------------------------------------------------

“Well that was harsh, Janus!”

Janus rolled his eyes, not even bothering to turn around. He didn’t have to look to see the stupid grin, anyway.

“Shove off, Remus.”

“I’m just saying -” And, listening to the way he sauntered about, Janus could just imagine him slinking about his room and toying with his belongings before they vanished and appeared somewhere else “-You could at least pretend that I have the potential for some do-gooding.”

Janus adjusted his gloves and, with a sigh, spun around to finally face Remus. He had been right; Remus was twirling around one of Deceit’s hats on his finger and then they both watched as it burst into black smoke and reappeared on the shelf across the room. 

“You’re not good,” Janus pointed out, “And neither am I.”

Remus flashed him a smirk. “We’re just drawn that way.”

Janus scoffed and folded his arms. “What are you even doing here, Remus?”

“Oh-” Remus threw a mock-offended hand to his heart (if he even had one) “-Janus! You know how terrible my room is! Ever since Thomas separated his favorite twins, it’s been awful! Separated from my own brother by a barrier that I can see through yet can’t cross! Oh, the horror!”

“Don’t try to get me to pity you.”

“Oh, no?” Remus questioned with a raised eyebrow, taking one step closer. “Does that mean you have a preference? For the good twin, that is?”

Janus chuckled (bitterly, some might say) and, swallowing the remaining hurt, shook his head. “How funny. You think even one of you is good.”

Maybe some hurt still remained.

Remus laughed (cackled, some might say) and shimmied his shoulders. “Oh! I seem to have struck a nerve!”

“Absolutely not.”

“Alright, Lord of the Lies,” Remus crooned, taking one step closer. “You keep up your cute little schtick, and I’ll keep up mine!”

He raised an eyebrow, taking in Remus’s gaudy attire and his wild eyes. For just a second, Janus swore he saw green spirals circling closer and closer to his thin pupils.

“Are you even smart enough to have a schtick?” Janus bit, jutting his chin up. From this angle, it even felt like he had the leg up.

“Oh!” Remus exclaimed. “How sharp for a snake without teeth!”

Janus narrowed his eyes, and the scales on his face itched. “What is that supposed to mean?”

“How’s that light looking, Janus? Not too bright, right?” Remus took another step forward and flicked his nose. “Wouldn’t want that precious face of yours getting burned!”

Janus growled and shoved him back, though Remus just laughed and stepped forward again. 

This time, Janus took a step back. His shoulders were tight with tension under his cape and he sucked a sharp breath in through his teeth, as if the air clawing into his lungs would do enough. “As if I could ever be one of them!” he hissed.

Remus, ever the lover of entertainment, watched with sadistic amusement.

“Mourning your place with us, Deceit?” With an exaggerated pout on his face, he cocked his head. “Wishing you were dealt better cards?”

“You’re hysterical, Remus.”

“Jealous of Virgil?” Remus prodded. “Up there with all his friends?”

Remus took another step forward. Janus took another step back.

“As if I would ever want to be one of them!”

“Look at you, thinking you can lie to me,” Remus teased. “Look at you, thinking you know enough about morality when even poor little Morality doesn’t!”

Janus rolled his eyes. “You know what, Remus? Surprise me! Prove that you actually know something about good and evil.”

“Oh, Janus, you’re so cute!” Remus condescended, tugging on his cape. “Pretending like you don’t already know the answer-” He then leaned in closer, grinning like the devil “-As if you don’t know that I already do. As if I don’t know what you’re trying to do.” He yanked Janus’s hat over his eyes and Janus shoved him back again, though he barely stumbled.

“It’s not worth it, babe!” Remus laughed, dusting off his jacket. “It’s all nonsense! Would hate to lose my best friend to a lost cause!”

“I’m not going anywhere!” Janus snapped and readjusted his hat. “You can bitch and moan about how much you want me gone, but I’m staying here!”

The manic grin slipped off Remus’s face, and even he had to admit that the sudden calm was unsettling. “Are you, now? Was all of that just a little playdate? A fun game night?”

“They’re all idiots, every single one of them.” Janus whipped his head away, focusing instead on the stack of papers that decided to reappear on his desk. “They don’t want to listen? Fine by me. It’s their funeral.”

“Oh?” Remus took a step closer. Janus took a step back. “But you were listened to. By the one and only! The Big T! Not to mention his morals are snuggling up to you! How’d you manage that?”

He scoffed. 

“Or was their approval not enough for you?” Remus continued. “Is it something… more you want?”

“Please, Remus, I’m not pathetic enough to beg on my knees for their approval. Not all of us are so… anxious about that.”

“Perhaps not.” Remus shrugged. “I, for one, know that my dear brother won’t ever come around!” A smirk then flashed across his face. “Speaking of Roman-”

“Remus-”

“He seemed to strike a nerve.”

“Being insufferable idiots runs in the family, apparently.”

Remus narrowed his eyes, studying Janus with a closeness that made his skin crawl. “You’re so delightful, Janus.”

“You flatter me,” he said flatly.

“If you’re so sure you’re not one of them-” And Remus took one final step closer, backing Janus up against the wall “-Why do you care that they don’t like you?”

Janus smirked. “I don’t need anyone to like me.”

Remus, grinning, blinked. “Was that what I said?”

His smirk dropped into a sneer.

“You might need them like a hole in the head-” Remus poked at his forehead “-But you keep going up there!”

Janus slapped his hand away. “It’s a crashing plane up there,” he snapped, “And they think that I’m the wrong one!”

“Oh, so it’s a pissing contest!” Remus laughed, clapping his hands together. “How fun!”

Janus scoffed and shoved him. Remus, this time, allowed himself to stumble back.

“I don’t know why I expected you to care,” he huffed. “I don’t think you’ve ever cared for anything.”

Remus kept laughing, and shrugged. “Oh I care!” And he kept laughing. “And they care, too! We all care so much!” And he swept his hand around Janus’s room. “It’s what keeps us here!” He raised his hand up, his gaze following, and, for a moment, it was like Roman was in the room. “It’s what keeps them there!” His head then whipped back to Janus and, grinning, he cocked his head. “Care is what keeps this fun game going!”

Janus stared.

“You keep slithering your way up there,” Remus continued, waving his hands with a flourish, “To thrust your agenda right up there!” Janus grimaced. “Along with everyone else’s! All your agendas smacking against each other, hard and rough, until one finally-”

“Remus, I swear to-”

“Gives in,” Remus finished with a smirk and an eyebrow raise. “Me, though?”

Janus, too, raised an eyebrow. “You, though?”

“Nothing!”

A lie. A covered one. His head ached. 

“So Roman got all the ambition?”

“Of course he did!” Remus laughed. “He got the ambition and the favor- well!” He shrugged. “Maybe! Maybe Rome has finally fallen!”

Janus rolled his eyes. “I still don’t know what you’re doing here, Remus,” he said.

Remus tsked. “And I thought you were smart!”

Janus bristled.

“What was it that I said so long ago?” Remus mused. “Good and bad is all made up nonsense?”

“Sounds like something you would say.”

“And seems like I’m the only one who believes it! You will all keep fighting up there,” Remus said, swaying back and forth. “Pushing morals and agendas all just so that one of you can be the favorite. And just wait! One day you will all realize that all these efforts have gone right down the toilet with everything else! There is no good and bad side here! There’s just who pushes the hardest.”

Janus stared.

“And then all of this-” he gestured about “-Will come crashing down!”

“And then what?” Janus asked quietly.

Remus smirked. “The real fun begins.”

Janus was silent for a moment.

And then he smirked.

“And so the agenda reveals itself.”

Remus, the grin slipping off his face, stared.

“It’s very bold of you to try to lie to me,” Janus said, leaning back against his wall. “You can try to pretend like you won’t miss me. Like you truly hate Roman. Like you don’t wish for that barrier to come down!”

And Janus, pushing himself off the wall, started walking forward.

Remus started walking back.

“I see through it all,” he continued. “You know that. You come in here with your jests and your questions because you think you can talk around the truth.” He smirked. “I’ll admit, you had me there for a moment. But you want to be listened to just as much as the rest of us. You want the control.”

“And you don’t?” Remus bit.

His back hit the wall and Janus stopped in front of him.

“Maybe so. Maybe some,” he said with a shrug. “But I, believe it or not, care for Thomas.” He cocked his head. “And you? You want the power, sure. But that doesn’t change the fact that you want to be up there just as badly. And you just think that means control.”

Remus stayed silent. Red-handed.

“And you want an answer, don’t you?” Janus asked.

Remus raised an eyebrow.

“Perhaps I don’t need anyone to like me,” Janus repeated. “But care? Well, I’m finding that it’s rather nice to be listened to. Given a seat at the metaphorical table.”

“They won’t accept you,” Remus growled.

Janus shrugged. “Maybe not. I’ve made quite a few enemies.” He smirked. “But at least I have a seat.”

“And yet you’re still going to end up back here.”

“Maybe so, but at least I get the choice.”

Remus scoffed.

“And I think you’re wrong,” Janus continued. “It’s not a pissing contest. You think I—what did you say?—push my agenda to be liked? To be the favorite?”

“Is that not what you’re all fighting for?”

“Maybe. But I think there’s something more to all of this.” He gestured upward. “Me, though? I’d rather… balance.”

Remus raised an eyebrow. “Balance?”

Janus smirked. “So it doesn’t all come crashing down.”

Remus laughed, though, this time, the bitterness seeped through. “Rome fell in a day, you know.”

“I think we’ll manage.”

“He would pay to see your fall!”

“Then-” And Janus took a step back “-I’ll just have to prove him otherwise.”

Remus bristled, seethed. “You don’t even like him!” he snapped. “Just before, you said that neither of us were good! That you weren’t either!”

“Oh, sure, we’ve both made some enemies. But if what I said is true—and it always is—” He winked and Remus scoffed, “Maybe neither of us are good. Or maybe it’s more complicated than that. After all, we’re here in the first place. But… maybe these agendas that we’re all pushing will do some good in the end. For Thomas.” Janus shrugged. “But Remus… have I-” And he placed a hand to his heart “-Struck a nerve?”

Remus rolled his eyes and pushed himself off Janus’s wall.

“And I’ll have you know,” Janus said as Remus started to make his exit. “Good and bad might be complicated. Right and wrong, too. But I wouldn’t write them off.”

Remus sneered. “Did Patton teach you that?”

“Don’t do me such a disservice.” Janus smirked. “I can be a very good teacher.”

Remus grimaced—no, frowned, and something pained poked out of it—and shook his head. “Such a liar, Janus. I thought you didn’t want to be one of them!”

“I don’t,” Janus confirmed. “I just want to be me. I don’t see a reason to change.” 

“Too bad.” Remus turned away. “You already have.”

And he vanished.

Janus, for a moment longer, stared at the place where he once stood.

Remus wishes he could go, too, good or bad.

He just doesn’t know how to. Not without letting it crumble first.

“Maybe so,” he finally said, turning back to his mirror. He smiled at his reflection, his yellow eye glinting, and began to take off his gloves. “Maybe not.”

[winterisakillerwrites]

Becoming -Part Two

Title: Becoming

One Shot: 2/6

Character: Tom Hiddleston

Genre: Realistic(?) fluff; Angst

Rating: T

Summary: Learning about his son was only just the start of the story. As Tom Hiddleston struggles to adapt to this sudden change in his life, he comes to learn that becoming a father might be the biggest role he’d ever taken on. *Sequel/Continuation of Lovers’ Eyes*

Authors Notes/Warnings: This story came about because I knew there was still so much about Tom and his son that I wanted to explore. I fully intended this to be a quick flash forward into their lives, a snapshot if you will….They had other ideas and so here we are. This is technically all one story but has been broken down into parts to make the reading easier.

Thanks so much first and foremost to @ciaodarknessmyheart who has dealt with me throwing all of these ideas at her and has helped shape them into something coherent and wonderful.

Thanks as well to @tinchentitri who also helped provide wonderful insight.

Hope you all enjoy!

Tag List: @tinchentitri @messy-insomniac-bookgirl @noplacelikehome77 @blacksuitofdoom @nonsensicalobsessions @theheartofpenelope @ms-cellanies @nuggsmum @inkededucatednnerdy @redfoxwritesstuff  @just-the-hiddles​ @wolfsmom1​ @theoneanna​ @hiddlescastle​ @sabine-leo​ @alexakeyloveloki​  @echantedbytwh @finchbaggins

PREVIOUS

Things seemed…If not easier, then certainly less dire after that evening. Tom still found himself questioning just what he was doing but the contact with Jaime, seeing his son smile and laugh made the distance easier to bear. They’d settled into a routine, speaking twice daily, once in the morning as Jaime started his day and once in the evening as he settled to bed. Even with several thousand miles between them and the relationship between them still new and fragile for it, Tom allowed himself a cautious hope that maybe, just maybe this could work. Or at least not fail completely.

 When filming wrapped four weeks later, it had taken everything in Tom to keep from running from set, to his hotel, and then straight to the nearest airport. The last thing he had any desire to do was hang about at the wrap party, but as one of the film’s stars his presence wasn’t negotiable in the eyes of his agent and majority of the crew. In the end he’d stayed long enough to make what his agent called “a respectable appearance”. He’d smiled and shared a drink but it was clear his mind was every much elsewhere.

 The flight home, only two planes and a five hour lay-over this time, was nerve-wrecking. He’d called Jaime during the layover, grateful to hear his son’s laughing voice, even if the boy was thoroughly distracted by whatever was currently on the television screen. Tom smiled as he recognized the theme playing and sighed.

 “Uncle Tom? You’ll be home soon right? You can come over and then we can play!”

 Tom swallowed thickly, trying to not let the hope in the boy’s voice overwhelm him. “I’ll see you maybe tomorrow, I’ll have to talk to your Nan to make sure.”

 Seeming satisfied with that, Jaime continued to babble on until Tom had needed to end the call when his flight was announced as boarding overhead. He’d been reluctant to end the call, not wanting to part from Jaime. It scared him, honestly, how much the little boy had come to mean to him and in such a short span of time. At times it still felt surreal, the idea he was someone’s father. That he was Jaime’s father.

 But was he even that really? Yes, he was biologically Jaime’s father; he had the paperwork and lab results to prove it, but as far as the boy was concerned he was ‘Uncle Tom’, his mummy’s silly friend who played pretend.

 And the knowledge of it burned far more than he had ever thought it would. It shouldn’t. He should have been grateful to even have a place in the boy’s life at all. It shouldn’t matter what Jaime called him. It was clear he adored Tom, clear he seemed to think the world of him. But it did. He was the boy’s father and Jaime didn’t know. And he wasn’t sure how long he would be able to honestly live with that. Tom scrubbed his face with his hands before shoving his mobile back into his pocket and running off towards the gate.

 He’d made the call to Keira in the late morning after he’d arrived home and had settled as well as he could manage. It felt strange, having to ask permission to see his own child but he knew it was her right as Keira was Jaime’s legal guardian. He could press the issue, take the matter up in the courts and take full, legal custody of the boy but at what cost? Keira was the only stable thing in Jaime’s life and as much as Tom wanted to be, he knew he couldn’t be that for the boy. Not now, not when his life was so unsteady. It wouldn’t be fair to anyone involved.

 Keira had agreed with minimal fuss; Jaime had apparently talked of nothing else from the time he’d finished speaking to Tom, throughout his bedtime routine, and well into breakfast after he’d awoken the following morning. “I figured as much,” she answered with a soft laugh, “Jaime is very much looking forward to seeing you.”

 “I am too.”

 Things fell back into their familiar new routine after that. Tom found himself spending whatever time he could at Keira’s with Jaime, ignoring the tearing at his heart whenever the boy called him ‘Uncle Tom’. It didn’t matter, he told himself. He was part of the boy’s life the hows shouldn’t matter. He wouldn’t let it matter. What mattered was he was a part of Jaime’s life.

 And that worked for a while.

 Tom did his best to balance the time he spent with Jaime with the demands his life placed on him; he did as much of the prep work for pre-production of his next project at home, only flying out at the last possible moment. He made sure to only be a phone or video call away from his son. It wasn’t ideal but it worked well enough. Tom found the work this time around grueling; when in the past he could let himself escape into the role he was playing, Tom couldn’t let himself now. Not when there was someone who needed him to be as present as possible.

 One afternoon months later, during one of Tom’s brief but desperately needed sojourns home, while they were both settled in the living room playing with Lego Jaime asked the question Tom had both longed for and dreaded with equal measure.

 “Uncle Tom, why don’t I have a daddy?”

 It was as if a pin had dropped. Tom found himself staring at the boy sitting beside him, confusion painted across his features. “What…Jaime, what’s brought this on?”

 Jaime shrugged, fidgeting with the Lego sitting before him. “Charlie’s dad takes him to the park and they play. I play with Nana Keira and you…But not my daddy. Mummy said he was away and couldn’t stay with us. But why?”

 Tom blinked at him, unsure of what to say. Jaime’s hazel eyes were large and full of question. God, how was he supposed to explain any of this to a five year-old?

 “I’d like to play in the park with my daddy like Charlie does,” Jaime continued, oblivious to the older man’s distress. “I like the swings and the slide. They’re fun and I can go high in the air. I like going high in the air. Mummy didn’t like going in the air but she always pushed me higher when I asked. Do you think my daddy likes going high in the air?”

 Again Tom felt his throat tighten as the enormity of Jaime’s questions overwhelmed him. “Maybe,” was all he could manage to whisper, though he knew it would do little to ease the questions he could still see burning in the boy’s eyes.

 “Jaime, my boy, come and get washed up for tea.” Keira’s voice echoed from the hall pulling Tom from his thoughts and sending his heart very nearly into his throat. Jaime pouted, clearly not ready for his playdate to be over.

 Tom smiled warmly at him, hoping it reached his eyes. The absolute last thing he wanted was to hurt or confuse the boy more than he already was. All he had done, after all, was ask questions that must have been rattling inside his head for a while.

 “Go listen to your Nan,” he urged, grabbing bits of Lego and dumping in back into the bin. “Go on, don’t you make her ask you a second time.”

 Jaime sighed, reluctantly got to his feet and dashed out of the living room.

 Footsteps in the hall pulled Tom’s attention from the mess around him. He dropped the pieces of Lego from his hand into the bin by his side and looked up to see Keira standing quietly in the doorway, an unreadable expression on her face. “I take it you overheard.”

 Keira nodded. “He’s been…Quite curious as of late. It was honestly only a matter of time, really.”

 Tom pushed himself to his feet. “I didn’t say anyth…I didn’t know what to say to him.”

 “I know you didn’t, but maybe it’s time you should.” Tom blinked at her in confusion. “He already adores you, Tom, and I know you feel the same. You aren’t good at sticking around, at being there for people, but I can see you trying. For Jaime. For yourself. And I can respect that.” She laughed softly, shaking her head. “I may never like you, Tom, but I am starting to respect you. Just keep trying, you never know what may come of it.”

 She smiled once more and walked from the room, calling out. “James William, those hands better be cleaned with soap and water.”

 Gods above, he still didn’t know what to make of that woman.

 Starting at his hands, Tom resolved to not bring up the subject with Jaime again unless, or until, the boy brought it up himself. As much as he wanted to her the boy call him ‘daddy’, and gods above he did, Tom knew he couldn’t just come out and say it. The words sat on the tip of his tongue but he couldn’t force himself to say them aloud. It was fear, pure and simple. He was afraid of disappointing the boy. Afraid he wouldn’t be enough, wouldn’t be the kind of father Jaime deserved.

 “Uncle Tom! Are you staying for tea?” Jaime’s voice proceeded him as the little boy darted back into the living room, eyes bright and shining.

 “I…If it’s alright with your Nan.”

 Jaime reached out and grabbed Tom’s hand, dragging the tall man behind him as he raced back towards the dining room and his waiting grandmother. The question comes out in a flurry of excited words and Keira had to ask Jaime twice to slow down and repeat himself before she understood. She smiled warmly at the boy before turning her attention towards Tom. “Of course. Hope you’re alright with tomato soup and cheese toasties.”

 Tom smiled brightly. “Tomato soup and cheese toasties sounds divine.”

 Places set, the three sat around the scarred wooden dining table with bowls of steaming soup and warm toasted sandwiches sat before them. Jaime dug into the meal with the kind of abandon Tom himself tucked into pudding. “Pace yourself, Jaime. This isn’t a race,” Keira scolded.

 Jaime looked up completely unabashed, pausing to take a deep drink of his glass of milk. Tom laughed heartily at the sight. His told him many a time over the last thirty odd years that he had been a cheeky little lad growing up and that if there was any justice in the world and he had children one day they would be just like him. Gods above, he thought, Mum was right.  

 “What’s funny?” Jaime asked, his mouth full of cheese toasty.

 “Something my mum told me.”

 “Oh?” Jaime’s eyes were wide with expectation. “What?”

 Tom wiped his mouth with a napkin and folded his hands together, resting them on the table. “She told me many a time that I was a mischievous little imp, always looking for trouble, always trying something new.”

 “Mummy used to call me her silly little imp.” Jaime’s smile faltered slightly at his own admission. “I miss Mummy.”

 Instinctively, Tom reached out, resting his hand on the boy’s shoulder, squeezing it gently. “I know you do. I miss her too. She was a very good woman, your mummy.” He smiled softy at Jaime. “And I know she loved you very much.”

 Jaime blinked up at him. “You do?”

 “You were her silly little imp, Jaime. Of course she loved you so very much. She told me, just the once, how you were her whole world and I know she meant it.” Tom sighed, letting his hand ruffle through Jaime’s sandy hair. “You are a very lucky young man, Jaime lad, to have a mummy like yours.”

 “Is your mummy gone too?”

 Tom blinked at Jaime’s quiet question, caught completely off guard by it. He coughed once before speaking. “No, my mummy is still here. She lives in Suffolk though and I don’t see her as much as I should.”

 Jaime nodded, looking at Tom curiously. “Does she live with your daddy?”

 Tom shook his head. “No, Jaime,” he answered as truthfully as he could. “My mummy doesn’t live with my daddy. My daddy lives far away, all the way up in Scotland.”

 “Oh.” There was slump to the boy’s shoulders that tore at Tom’s heart. “Do you think my daddy is there too? Mummy said he lived far away too.”

 Tears burned in Tom’s eyes. “Oh Jaime…He doesn’t live in Scotland, but…But he did live far away for a time.” He didn’t know why he was saying it, didn’t know just what he was saying. But he knew he had to say something.

 “You know my daddy?” Jaime’s voice was laced with such naked hope that Tom felt his heart clench. Out of the corner of his eye he could see Keira tense. They both knew this was coming, that it had to come, but so soon?

 “Jaime…I…” He fumbled over his words. Why was this so difficult?

 “He does, Jaime,” Keira cut in, ending Tom’s nervous rambling. She shot him a knowing look, as if to say, now or never.

 Jaime’s eyes widened as he stared up at Tom with unbridled hope. “You know my daddy?”

NEXT

[weaselsmuses-aa]

hey human hcs again because fuck it its revamp time

Ft: My muses && Some others that i just happen to have hcs for.

My muses + oc’s in collab w friends.

Topaz!!

Age: 16

Grade: Sophomore

Born in South Korea

Became something of a musical sensation back home, and is famous for her music mixing.

Became independent at 15, moved to the states a year later with the desire to see what America was like, hollywood in particular.

Lives in an apartment with Saphir, her senior classmate and good friend.

Pastel vibes

Sassy vibes (Much more sassy than gem topaz :o)

MomTM friend. She mediates and keeps the peace. Also will give great life advice.

Judges silently, but says nothing if she has nothing nice to say. (But she’ll think it.)

Currently has a job as a DJ at a local skating rink where her friends hang out. Gets them free food and games..

Hoping to make it big in the US so she can stay after she graduates.

Parents living overseas and helping pay for her life and schooling in the states.

She spends summers in Korea where she visits her family and tours, records music.

Part of the art club and spends a lot of time in the music rooms. She isn’t in Choir, Band or Orchestra, but is in music theory and guitar. Has a LOT of friends in all those programs.

Swiss (birth name: Sage)

Age: 16-17

Grade: Sophomore.

Swiss was born in Switzerland, but has also lived in South Korea for 5 years (where she met Topaz), London for 2, and now the US where she started high school.

Lives with her Father who is from Switzerland, her mom who was born in the UK, and her baby sister Kyanite

Class goofball and classic slacker but somehow still passes and knows the material.

‘ Whoops, I forgot my homework again’ type

Dye’d her hair blue at 14, pierced both her nose, lips, and several places in her ear. 

Depressed and tired. Brings rockstar energy’s to class a lot.

Punk Rock vibes, but wears her uniform rather well. Her messenger bag is tricked out with a lot of music festival patches and pins though.

Her and Topaz both are those kids that have earbuds and beats headphones on all the time. She gets in trouble for listening to rock in class. Or talking.

Has a band, and is the main drummer and back up vocalist.  The band was her idea, but she gives her friends a lot of freedom. Since drumming is her passion she doesn’t mind not being the lead vocalist.

Crushing on / Dating the richest girl in the school (Aquamarine ‘Marie’)

Doesn’t have a job, but thinking about getting a part time one at the record shop near her house.

Oversleeps A LOT. IS late to class a lot. Usually her detentions are from tardiness (or saying some smart ass comment to be funny and getting in trouble for it)

Very protective of her little sister, and gets along well with her in private, despite pretending that she irritates her.

No after school activities for her thanks. That stuffs lame. (Though she does wander in and hang out with the game club sometimes)

Kyanite (Ky)

Age: 14-15

Grade: 8th

One of the pretty MeanTM girls in middle school. Rather high on the social pecking order due to being an upperclassmen and being a cutie with an attitude.

Fashion sense a mix between soft grunge, a touch of punk and more flowing feminine outfits, or neat and prim /professional outfits. Whatever she decides, she likes to look good.

Very talented at doing her make up and nails, tends to have a lot of requests from other girls her age for help in that dept.

Looks up to her sister a lot more than she lets on. Lowkey wants to be involved in a lot of what she does after school. (She even begged her parents to let her dye her hair blue as well right after Swiss did (She was 12 at the time))

Love’s shopping and collecting outfits and cute little butterfly themed things for her room.

While she’s in the ‘popular’ circle of girls in her grade, shes not particularly stuck up when it comes to other kids. She can be mean, but its usually to just as entitled kids. She’s rather tame and even friendly with less popular kids in her grade. She’s very comfortable around them and enjoys not being put on a pedestal all the time

Romance obsessed. (Duh)

Wishes she could get a piercing and a tattoo like her sissy, but her parents only let her pierce her ears. 

A’s in most of her classes, but struggles in History. It’s a snoozefest to her.

Currently in band and debate team. (She plays flute)

Takes FOR-E-VER to get ready to leave the house. (Hey, its not ALWAYS swiss’s fault shes’ late.)

Best friends in school are Livie and Bebe.

Spends a lot of time after school for Band practice, Debate team activities, or supporting her bestie Bebe in her cheer practice.

Really likes sneaking in the upperclassmen building. No one’s cute in her grade :/ (according to her)

Likes to fake being sick so she can go home early. way too often.

Bonus’es! 

ft some of my other... (albiet co-op) oc’s / and aquamarine cus i can

Bebe

Age: 14-15

Grade: 8th

Met Kyanite in 6th grade and they instantly hit it off well.

Bubble gum pink hair, and really likes fashion. Always obsessed with wearing the cutest combo of clothes she can come up with.

Really sweet and bubbly on the surface, but she isn’t called a bubblegum bitch for nothing. She knows shes popular and will often trick the vulnerable into believing they have social status only to humiliate them when she sees fit.

A little bit bitchier than Ky. Not that she wants to be mean actively, she just kind of ......is how we say.....spoiled brat.

As long as her best friend cares about someone she does too.

When she actually does accept you, shes a very sweet and almost loyal to the point of irritation.

Crushing on Kyanite, kissed her at a party and has kind of never got over it.

Serial dater. Literally she has a new sweetie every week. its tiring.

Junior Varsity Cheer Team and Drama club are her life.

When she’s not doing those things, she’s spending her time in her Juniors bowling team. They go to tourney during summer.

Parents aren’t filthy rich but they are not hurting for money in any shape or form. Shes always got whatever she wanted.

Loves getting gifts, and will almost try and bug people into sending her stuff to homeroom during holidays. Either because she wants STUFF or for her own popularity.

Might be kind of bitchy but really does feel bad and get upset if people point that out about her. I wouldn’t say she /wants/ to be a bad person. her parents never told her no and nor how to not be self centered.

Very talkative and upbeat. Wants to inspire her friends and lift them up.

On the other end, is a big gossip and bad about spreading rumors and stirring up drama with people she isn’t a fan of.

Show her a cute animal and she’ll sob. I mean the whole 9 yards.

 Marie  . (Aquamarine.)

Age: 17-18

Grade: 12th

Born and raised in London for the majority of her life.  She’s also lived in France for 3 years during an abroad program her parents sent her to where she met one of her closest friends (Astrid)

Her parents are filthy stinkin rich and own a foreign luxurious fashion company and a luxury car company.

Livie is her baby sister and she often tries to pretend like thats not the case. (She loves her guys i swear)

Stuck up, bratty, and just an overall bitch. She RELISHES in it. Marie KNOWS shes mean, popular and has power and she’s proud.

“you can’t sit with me, you can’t talk to me, you aren’t good enough to even know me.”

Her desire for power has her gunning for valedictorian (cue her and satoshit fighting to the death), and she’s currently the president of student government. Thats right. She’s deciding school functions and your future you little peasant fucks.

Will shove her riches and status down your THROAT oh my goooodddd

Throws HUGE parties when her parents are out of town, uses it as a tool to make the popular kids/upperclassmen love her even more and show the ‘losers’ where their place is.

Always has to look THE best in the school, and will probably murder anyone who threatens to take her places as prom queen (i kid i kid.........maybe)

Hangs out with Astrid and Mae when they’re in town.

Has a type that does not fall in line with her image (coughcough Swiss cough) and will do a LOT to keep in a secret. But....listen....she also can’t hide it well. Like...not even a little. She gay.

She’s always seen with her posse of popular girls and her two primary school friends the topazes. They’re just the schools huge UNITS of lesbian quarterbacks, their fists as big as your face, they wont squash you, promise. (look at marie wrong once bitch.)

Will die of embarrassment of her sister livie. Unfortunately is responsible for her in a lot of ways. Driving her back and forth from school, taking her to school functions and much more. (She loves her....double pinky swear) But she claims they aren’t related. (no one believes this hoe) That don’t mean she wont DESPERATELY try to pawn her off for the day. Babysitter? Butler? Anyone? SOMEONE?

Will absolutely use Livie as a means to hang out with Swiss via playdates. Oh yeah, she knows their baby sisters are besties. It’s free real estate.

Has expressed to Swiss that she wishes they could trade sisters. ( I swear marie loves livie deep down in this essay I will----)

In a wealth measuring contest with Satoshit 24/7

Is CONSTANTLY going on overseas trips. She will never stop bragging about it.

Consumed mostly by Student Government and Theatre.

[trashfireinc]

apparently teenagers don’t know a lot about life. I mean, its a fair argument. if I’m lucky I’ve still got a good 62 years left on this space rock. but just for shits and giggles, lets take a look at what i’ve learned so far.

when i was four, i learned that everyone does not, in fact, see blurry colors and shapes. i also learned that the level of fucked up my eyesight is can be measured in numbers. wicked.

when i was five, i went to kindergarten. in that first year of school, i learned that books are a way better way to spend my time than playdates.

when i was seven, i noticed that teachers really, really like me. and i really, really liked them too. turns out, elementary school teachers and i have a common love for whiteboard markers and “good job” stamps.

when i was eight, i learned that parents don’t always sleep in the same bed. I learned that sometimes dad’s voice gets really fucking loud and mom learned how to run when she was a kid too. i noticed that mom didn’t really get out of bed much anymore. she didn’t really do much of anything anymore. but she still let me sleep in her bed, so i didn’t really think about it anymore.

when i was nine, i learned that dogs have babies just like humans. i learned that puppies need more attention than even i did. i learned to love my puppies more than anyone else i was yet to meet. the runt of the litter died. by this, i was taught that the weak don’t make it far.

when i was nine, i learned that adults roughhouse too. but most of the time they aren’t joking. I learned that acrylic nails against a stubbly jaw ends with red and blue flashing lights and mom spending the night somewhere i couldn’t go.

when i was ten, i had to move from the only house i could remember. had to say goodbye to the room i painted into a blue sky. had to say goodbye to the pool in the backyard, where the first friend i made, had ever had learned my name.

when i was eleven, i met my first best friend. she was darker than me, but she held so much light. i remember talking on the swings and chasing boys through the multi-colored playground. i remember planning times to go to the bathroom so we could see each other between classes.

when i was twelve, my first best friend changed. she still had that light, but she used it to manipulate her way to the top of the popularity list. she wore too-tight shirts and white american eagle jeans. she made it clear that she wasn’t bringing a plus one to the top with her. she still came to my house, and when no one from school was around i could pretend that she hadn’t changed at all. that’s when i learned how to ignore the bad parts of people, even when they hurt you over and over again.

when i was twelve, i also learned that sometimes, people hate you for no good reason. after my first best friend, i met a girl. a-line blonde bob, jeans and tees just like me. she blended in, and i didn’t know who she really was until it was too late. i lost my phone in gym. my mom pinged the location and i heard it coming from a class down the hall. i opened the door, and there she was. my phone in her hand, her trying to turn it off. me biting my lip, running out to the bathroom to hide from my mom and her. she cut 6 inches of my hair off after we caught her. my mom got her expelled, and i learned one more thing that year. revenge isn’t sweet. it’s tasteless.

when i was thirteen, i learned that new situations are worse than the one you were trying to escape in the first place. I learned that the only time i felt safe was in the bathroom stall with my legs on the toilet seat. wanted so badly to be invisible. i learned that the only way to have a few minutes without anxiety, was to bleed. I learned to call the sting and the velvety warmth home, and since then i am uncomfortable without that burn.

when i was fourteen, i learned that writing is a better way to spend the time than much of anything else. with no direction i wrote short stories, bad poems, and journaled til i had a callus on my thumb. i smeared the pages with blood and never got more than halfway through a journal before getting bored of the cover. i learned to write and write and write until everything i had inside of me boiled down to hundreds of thousands of words.

when i was fifteen, i learned that no and maybe are synonyms to the wrong type of boy. i realized that even i wasn’t immune to the desperate persuasion that comes a guy who wants to get off. i started cussing a lot more. our movie dates ended with me crying myself to sleep, wondering why i didn’t say pull away when his hand found mine, why i let him use me like that, why i didn’t just walk out of the theater, why i didn’t fucking end it right there. i found the strength to later, and the revenge i got as tears streamed down his face was the same: tasteless.

when i was sixteen i learned that you can love so many people at once, all in different ways. a boy who led the group, kind when it matters and a great listener. a boy who made everyone laugh, with beautiful curls and honest hands. a girl who went to school in the town over, a voice that gets the birds harmonizing and me head over heels. a girl who supplies the music, mostly oldies she somehow got me to listen to and love. and this is how a romantic slowly meets their biggest weakness.

when I was seventeen I learned for the third time that you should walk away from experimental girls, girls who have a history of only being halfway interested, girls who say all the right things and give up when they win your heart. walk away from those girl friends that flirt when it’s fun. just because you give them everything they want doesn’t mean they will choose you when the dust settles.

I’m eighteen now. i’m learning that growth is something you have to work on every day, confrontation isn’t positive or negative, and not everyone is the enemy. i’m learning to love all over again (for the sixth time). it’s only been two months and i’ve already gained so much. here’s to the next ten.

[haosvteen]

i said i was going to post my slept on kpop playlist, so here it is!! this is just my favorite boy groups because that’s like...who i listen to lol :) i hope you like it!!

if anyone wants to read my rambling thoughts and favorite lyrics from each song, they’re under the ‘keep reading’ cut :) it took me like two hours to do, so if you wanna take a quick peek at me talking about “vibes” of songs and coming up with dumb little scenarios for the songs, please do :)

p.s. feel free to take a look around my spotify, i have a bunch of dumb playlists lolol

7 Days - NCT Dream: i just love the vibe of this song, it’s one of my faves to just chill and dance in my room to || ‘7 days a week, i’ll always / hover by your side / so just tell me comfortably / whenever you call me, / i can just run to you’

Break Your Rules - The Boyz: idk why but this song reminds me of a montage in a show of a boy falling in love with a girl...basically i just wanna fall in love || ‘my dreams are filled with you all night / now is a chance to make them come true’

Let me hear you say - Seventeen: you know i had to put this in like it’s probably my favorite song from an ode. just the pre-chorus, the chorus, the whole thing...*chef’s kiss*. minghao really shines in this song too (proud of my bby) || ‘i only wish for you yeah / you’re the only one sailing in my heart’

Not Alone - NCT 127: nct is typically known for “noise music”, but i don’t think people really take the time to look into songs like this that are just so pretty and beautiful || ‘even if the black night gets longer / i`m not afraid / embrace my dream more’

Drift Away - Seventeen: this song!! it’s just the sweetest sounding song, like it really is just like honey to me. that’s weird, i know, but it just makes me so happy and reminds me of like walking through a park in spring with flowers on the trees and blowing through the wind || ‘you who’d lean on me during hard times / walking slowly and heavily / and then you became a part of my memories’

Best Friend - NCT Dream: just another cute lil song that’s fun and makes me happy hehe, leave it to the dreamies || ‘you came out a bit late / but I’m used to it / because of you it’s okay yeah’

Playdate - EXO-CBX: omg can someone please just come sweep me off my feet for a casual, fun date in the city...that’s what this song reminds me of ugh i want it so bad!!! || ‘are you ready to be loved? / i'll catch a shooting star / and place it in your hand’

Hello - Seventeen: jun, seokmin, mingyu unit let’s get it!!! i love this song so much, it’s just a great song about having a lil crush and it makes my heart happy..also makes me want someone to have a crush on me like so badly. side note, but can we please talk about mingyu’s part in the bridge?? || ‘You, more than my heart / i’m curious about your heart / you, from now on / i want our days to be each other’s days’

Get Cool - Stray Kids: just a super fun, chill song to listen to maybe while by the pool or on the beach. this song it suuuch a personality song like it’s so fun || ‘let's not worry so much / just for today’

1 to 10 - Day6: this viiiiibes of this song holy sh*t. and like i don’t know anything about music or anything, but the way the notes sound at the end of the chorus?? are so?? perfect?? like they just sound so great to my ears. is this a normal thing? someone lmk || ‘i know you / no one knows you / nobody loves you / more than me baby’

I Do Love U - Monsta X: yet again just another fun song that makes my heart happy, like i love listening to this song on drives with the windows down. another song about a crush, further proving that i want someone to have a crush on me || ‘i like you, i like you / even explaining it with words, it’s lacking / i love you, love you / expressing these words / i do love you’

Love Me Now - NCT 127: nowowowow yeah, i love this song. it’s a super chill song to listen to and very easy to sing along to, so great for drives. i really love haechan’s voice in this song, he has an add-in during the second chorus, i think, that i really like || ‘when I walk the path, your scent is passing by / so I subconsciously looking for you again / the rain is pouring and it takes me back to that time / on that street where I kissed you’

WITH U - Ateez: so basically this song makes me want to have someone who is in love with me and wants to spend time with me. it is just such a romantic song and i can’t want to be with someone who i’m completely in love with and who is completely in love with me and we slow dance in the living room to this song || ‘do you remember? / the promise I made to you that I would never stop / i'm still walking / no matter what difficulties may interrupt me’

Sun&Moon - NCT 127: this was actually one of the first nct songs i heard!! i really love the pre-chorus of this song, like okay get into it!! very romantic song and imo also pretty sexy vibes || ‘even if you’re in a place / where I can’t touch you / i can feel you’

Love Again - Baekhyun: alright this song...does things to me. like...the lyrics i- maybe it’s because baekhyun is my exo bias, but like...boy can get it...immediately. (also if joshua hong is bored and wants to cover this song...that would be appreciated) || ‘say that you love me again / don't leave me alone baby / just stay for the night baby, yeah’

I Wish - Seventeen: okay so i’ve barely seen anyone talking about this song and uh??? what’s up w that??? this is actually probably my third favorite from heng:garae after l&r and mymy. it really just reminds me of walking down a snowy street at night, hand in hand with the love of your life || ‘sometimes I think of you / i cry and I laugh / i'm trying to erase you / with a broken heart’

Trauma - EXO: bruh the very beginning of this song, i think someone is right in my ear. this song gets me hyped, no lie, like i dance to this in my room like at least five times a week and pretend i’m in a club or something. it’s so fun imo (if nct dream is bored, do they wanna cover?) || ‘the wounds come back to life / i try to avoid them but get hurt every time / i know, it can’t just be me’

Save You - GOT7: hm, i can see this playing when y/n rolls up to jackson wang’s pool party. this is just a super chill, fun song i really like!! also can we talk about that pre-chorus || ‘i'll find you / you don't have to call me / always be with you oh’

Fronting - Seventeen: THIS SONG, i listen to jihoon’s bridge every day and i’m not even kidding. this song is such a bop. this is one of the top kpop songs that gets stuck in my head. honestly, please just look up all of the lyrics to this song because it’s actually very iconic imo || ‘i woke up, even in dreams, baby / i still dream of chasing you, what should i do? / there is no other girl like you / seventeen can’t control these feelings’

Betcha - Baekhyun: this was probably my song of the summer in 2019, i listened to it first thing every single time i got into the car to go anywhere. i can’t even describe like?? why i like it so much?? it just makes me feel special, like if you think about the lyrics while listening...perhaps i feel like the only girl in the world...perhaps || ‘it's just the two of us / what you waiting for? / you're my soul / we're gonna be perfect for each other / i believe it, no doubt’

Network Love - Seventeen: int’l line, let’s get it. this is just a super fun song that (once again) i love just jamming out to in my room. also minghao is super impressive in this song imo :,) || ‘before i meet you / i don’t know where / the world is so big’

See You Again - Monsta X: lowkey, don’t clown me but i’ll listen to this song in the car and pretend my “boyfriend” & i just broke up and i’m driving away from his place. why am i so dramatic, guys i am actually the most dramatic individual on earth. nonetheless, this song is fire (wish hyungwon had more lines but you know...life isn’t fair so) || ‘when I finally open my black eyes now / i end up feeling this void / i beg you to grab my hand / so that I can feel happy again’

#Summervibes - GOT7: they did not lie when they called the song summer vibes, but it really is. this song makes me feel like i’m on a romantic vacation with my “boyfriend” (jinyoung wya) and we’re just having fun in love and OOO possibly we’re dancing with each other late at night at a beach club or something and we’re both a lil tipsy and i’m going to stop before i write a whole scenario (psst i know this is japanese, but still it’s a bop so i included it) || ‘the dazzling prism of a diamond ring is shining on you / the waves ripple disorderly / shooting a cinematic scene so it doesn’t disappear / i wanna let it remain in my heart’

Swimming Fool - Seventeen: y’all knew it was going to be on here like it’s me we’re talking about here. do i even need to explain?? like this song made me a better person and change my life, it is so fun and i want to see it live one day however i know that it’ll never happen, but i can dream. this song is one of the best of seventeen’s entire discography and i just love it so much everyone listen to swimming fool and give it love because maybe if we show it enough love, then perf unit will perform it live again pls pls pls. and also let’s take a moment to discuss the lyrics because this song isn’t simply about some buys having a fun time swimming. no, it’s all a ~metaphor~ because like you’re the pool/water and they’re a swimming fool because they are just so entranced by you and in love with you. and i think that’s beautiful. in this essay i will... || ‘because i’ve fallen for you / i’m drowning in you / my movement becomes slower / and i start to lose my breath / i’m a swimming fool’

[annaklover]

Quarantine day, I LOST fucking track.

Here's the issue. It can take up to 14 days if infected to show symptoms. And if you're a carrier, you're not going to know until they run titters after this is over. In the mean time, say you were exposed 10 days ago, went to the bar crawl, out to the mall a couple times, over to a few house parties, and visited family after church. You've exposed hundreds. The excuses of I'm bored, and I miss my __ insert whomever here is selfish. We had a lady in the town next to is test positive, knew she was under the weather, but still went out and about for a week with symptoms. That's one person. She is reflective now. Sees she was a selfish person, but she wanted to live her best life. Because she's entitled to, right? It's a wake up call when one of the people who died got it via community spread in her area. She is always now going to wider if she killed that vet. Because she couldn't be bothered with staying 6 feet from others for 2 weeks, and now she's forever separated by 6 feet of dirt. Her coughing may have given someone else, a coffin. What a weight she now carries.

Every time we are going out and hanging out, we are resetting the clock on this thing.

I applaud those front line workers, man. They are the MVPs in this. To those who made the hard choice to close and wait it out. We see you. We appreciate you. And when you reopen, we will be there for you. For the eateries still opened, crib side delivery in gloves, we see you now. And appreciate not only your commitment to your food, but to creating a slice of normal for us.

There is a literal, mum and pop coffee shop in town. In a basically dead mall, but they don't care. They also roast their own beans. We've made weekly trips there to purchase pounds worth of beans. They have Starbucks prices. $1 an ounce for beans. BUT they are opened, and local, so we are making the trip to support them. They actually messaged me during a snowstorm today to tell me they were closing early, on the off chance we were coming today for beans. Customer. Service.

I was at Walmart the other night and saw a family of 4 kids from the school I teach at. It was the first time I ran into any of my kids, and it hurt so much I couldn't let them hug me. I missed the school parade where the staff stood safe distances apart and the families drove past. But one of my work besties got called my name more times than she could count.

Schooling. I'm don't for the entire year. I lost over 40 jobs, probably more. The only support we for was a link to the unemployment office, with no guarantee of compensation. BUT we will be expected to come back and work after this is all over. Our next paychecks won't be until October. But, let's pretend you didn't just stiff us, and leave us in the cold. They already had a shortage. Ekk, for next term is all I'm going to say.

Teachers are trying. If your student had the teachers that wanted to raise thinkers, you got stuff for your kid to keep mentally stimulated. If you had a teacher that was all about just getting through the days, they either piggybacked off the ones that work(and low key took all the credit to the admins), or sent bare minimum. Parents at home are getting a ride wake up to how little school really does to teach kids, and how much it does to just reprogram them to whatever society is fadding at the moment. I was told by friends that they have maybe 120 minutes of lessons/work for their kids, daily. That's with 30 for music and gym. 15 minutes blocks, tops. And parents are losing their ever loving shit. These are the same parents throwing parties and playdates as well.

We have been lucky, as LoKi is far less stressed, and most prepared with the idea of this than probably any of his peers. He was truly an introvert, that put it all out when he was on stage. Now he can get his work done in 30 minutes and then take a break, eat all the goldfish one can humanly consume and go to his music room and play for 3 hours and call it homework for 2 classes(choirs & concert band) He's doing a Google classroom for taekwondo as well, teaching pattern work, and doing things the Master comes up with for conditioning. That counts as all his gym. Plus he loves going for walks with his dad, so that's bonus Phys Ed. Computers is basically chatting about the rest of your classes on a Discord channel, Bio is watching science crap and taking open tests, councilor is checking in or replying to an email or Google doc, English is read this thing, take a open quiz. The rest of the day he's moving Discord, and playing games with his mates around the world. They check in and talk about how they are all doing. He's highly connected. After his dad goes to bed, he and I go watch some comedy shows. He is mentally & emotionally doing far better than his peers, and many adults we know.

We started this 3 Mondays ago. We are guessing this goes through mod May, with normalcy/complacency back by end of July. Just in time for us to get our dog. It will not be a puppy, but a 7yo bitch. Another Universe given dog. She will live out the rest of her years as just a dog. Who hopefully becomes BFF to the doggo directly down the hill. More on her later.

Take care all y'all. Please do the 14 days asked of us. Yes, for many it's been longer, but we are paying for those who aren't now. Wash your hands. Physical distance. And don't even get me started on Tiger King jokes, because we actually knew him from when they used to come to the rural mall by us, back in the day!

[punkscowardschampions]

Ava & James

Ava: I've told all my family James: oh Ava: Maybe don't oh that hard Ava: thinking you've changed your mind and that's going to be very difficult to do a 180 on tbh James: I'm actually thinking about Bella's dad's reaction Ava: As far as I'm aware, my dad doesn't have a shotgun Ava: or an excellent moustache Ava: definitely not James: Mine does, on both counts, but the mentality simply isn't there James: war of words is as far as things have so far escalated Ava: That's a good visual Ava: what about your mum? James: she's very busy lining up every single woman she's aware of between the ages of 20 to 30 within a mile radius or so Ava: Very Mr Darcy Ava: I'll gatecrash James: I look forward to the dramatic dance scene during which we only touch palms & exchange looks Ava: I bet Lizzie Bennet didn't 😳 Ava: shame my sister isn't around to push over so your parents are forced to take us in whilst she languishes James: 😂 James: I'll happily push my sister over or let her fall through an iced over pond to further our romantic narrative Ava: 💘 Ava: I know it's less about me but I can swoon nonetheless James: if you're 😳 then you'll have my full attention regardless Ava: Promise? James: yes Ava: even if the single ladies have really good period costumes? James: well, I hadn't considered that Ava: 😏 Ava: rude James: before I decide, what are you going to be wearing when you gatecrash? Ava: Obviously something unexpectedly knockout Ava: am the protagonist, need I remind you James: okay, what I'm hearing is anything you already own or could pick out from anywhere given a few moments Ava: You're adorable Ava: how did it go really then? James: does that mean I'll get to see you before there's a seasons changing montage? because I really want to Ava: Providing you don't need to exile yourself, of course James: I'm sure there's now several people in both our lives who would like me to, but I won't Ava: They were as receptive as I expected but I've made it clear I won't be stopping seeing you, hopefully put to bed the concerns I can James: in my case, the only concern is outward appearances so there's very little I can do even if I particularly cared to James: & Teddy isn't concerned so much as shocked & appalled Ava: Of course Ava: at least I'm an addendum re. the main issue of the whole divorce, in that case? Ava: yeah, do you think I should make a point of talking to him or give him space? James: will you? as far as he's concerned I haven't made a good decision within his living memory, but you two are friends, or were Ava: I'll try, definitely Ava: if I can make him see it's as much my decision as yours, it might help, in the end Ava: and I can handle another person having their say James: thank you James: I meant what I said, I'm more than willing to discuss this with your parents, at any point James: I can handle that Ava: Thank you Ava: I think it might help Ava: but I also think I'm gonna give them a cool-off period or it won't be at all helpful and that won't be at all your fault James: understood James: I'm currently having to employ a similar situation with Jay's playdates because her friend's mothers cannot possibly keep their nose out of my business or their mouths shut about where hers is and every other single detail they believe to be fact Ava: Oh lord Ava: I wouldn't have envied you having to socialize by-proxy with the self-professed yummy mummies before but now Ava: I can only imagine Ava: Poor Jay Ava: I can't offer a human child for playdates but Frank is always down Ava: and my lips are, naturally, sealed James: I was hoping to take them away for a few days but it's as though my dad has decided that in lieu of my failings in other areas I need to suddenly become the hardest worker in the history of this company Ava: Of course Ava: Hmm James: because obviously what my children require most in their mother's absence is to also see me less Ava: Well, yeah, that's not potentially traumatizing Ava: thank God for School being right 'round the corner Ava: and Matty still being portable James: I've been bringing them both to the office & the bulging vein in his temple is honestly such a strong contender for the book cover Ava: 😏 That's how you do it Ava: risk his health and wellbeing so you get the time off for yours James: King's didn't teach me everything I know, I've got a few tricks Ava: When are you giving me that tour? James: When can I see you? Ava: When is your dad not working you to death? Ava: I can make it work James: [A pause while he figures that out] James: he's out of the office all day on [a date in the foreseeable to make this office hookup a thing] Ava: No offense but if your brother shows up again you need to send him on a really long coffee run James: as you said, school is right around the corner, meaning my parents priorities have shifted back to making sure he'll go Ava: In that case Ava: 😈 James: 😇 for saying yes Ava: I have ulterior motives, I promise you James: oh really? Ava: really Ava: it's very unfair I've yet to see you in your work clothes James: [sends her a pic because nobody can stop him] Ava: um hello 😍 Ava: you're really going to be away from me looking so good Ava: unfair James: I'm sorry James: I really, really am Ava: Me too Ava: I've not seen you enough to warrant how badly I want to right now James: [a casual essay about how much he misses her and wants her and everything he wishes they could do, in a saucy way but also just in cute ways like] Ava: James James: Ava Ava: I really love you, you know James: I love you too James: what I most wish is that we could go away for a while Ava: That would be Ava: so good Ava: maybe we could in like the Christmas hols, when everything has calmed down Ava: hopefully James: it would be indescribable Ava: I have no doubt you would do your best Ava: and it'd be impressive James: the subject matter lends itself to nothing but my best Ava: I'm honoured🙇 James: so am I, especially by that visual Ava: Gutted I'm out rn and can't immediately fulfill that wish for a visual like you did Ava: when I get back though James: [sends her an even better visual] James: until then, there you are Ava: oh, well, you aren't distracting at all 😖 Ava: definitely gonna get you back when you're so hard at work James: 😈 James: I so badly hope you do Ava: I intend to Ava: every day of the week Ava: but especially when I get to come see you James: you know, the things I intend to do to you on this desk drastically shifts the audience we're going to be able to pitch this book to Ava: You'll have to restrain your imagination in the write-up so the audience can use theirs to fill in the blanks Ava: because there's no way we're leaving your office 'til we've done everything you've thought of James: finally some overtime I'm not upset about Ava: It's all about balance, right? 😇 James: & I'm aware that you've got very good balance Ava: Will that help me be the best good luck charm on your best I can be? 🤔 Ava: intriguing 😋 James: absolutely, but if you need any more help, I'll help you Ava: You're very helpful, baby James: I try to be Ava: I've never met anyone like you James: I don't think I'll ever meet anyone else that comes close to you either James: I certainly haven't before Ava: Good Ava: I don't need to think about competiting so soon James: you don't need to think about it, full stop Ava: not 'til the dance, anyway James: even then, I'll only have eyes for you, that's the cliche Ava: Of course Ava: doesn't mean I'm not gonna do everything within my power to ensure it's worth your 👀s while James: I don't want to dance with anyone else, Ava James: I don't want to do any of this with anyone else Ava: I know Ava: you know I feel the same too James: you know I couldn't have done this without you though Ava: You did it all though, all the hard conversations and hard decisions James: a lot of those decisions were made for me, so there's limited credit due, & a lack of conversation with her just cements that Ava: Yeah but the ball is in her court on that one Ava: you're if not ready at least willing whenever she is James: of course, because that's not a decision, to not act, not any more Ava: yeah, and that's going to be a good thing Ava: even if it is not good all the time James: I'll be interested to see if she gets in contact before school starts because that's unlikely to be a good thing Ava: Yes, I wonder if this is just a summer holiday or Ava: makes you wonder what she's even doing that could keep her so 'busy' James: whoever cleans the pool, probably, not that she'd ever admit to such a cliche Ava: 😬 Ava: definitely not getting paid enough James: 😂 Ava: I'm just glad that right now you don't have to deal with her on the day to day, even if it's only a momentary reprieve, it'll never be that bad again James: me too, I can't & won't pretend that I didn't know how bad it had become but actually getting a break from it makes me wonder how either of us dealt with that for as long as we have Ava: I bet Ava: she must've been as sick of it, even though she was the one not letting go and doing the fucked up shit, that has to be exhausting to live like that Ava: full level hell beast all the time, like 😈 Ava: sorry, I'm not fully sure where the line is re. her Ava: but I've been hearing great things from Nancy and Buster today so, that's in my head James: it's okay, you're not wrong James: & neither are they Ava: Okay Ava: if it's ever weird or like, not up for discussion though, just say the word Ava: or several, as you're especially loquacious James: there's a fantastic word Ava: as far as safewords go Ava: I can think of a few situations where it might be hard to get out but isn't that half the fun James: I'll make a note of it, because yes, that's definitely a large percentage of the thrill Ava: I wish you were here Ava: I only am to get away from my parents for a bit James: where are you? Ava: My friend's house Ava: Her sister is called Stasia, think she was your year-ish? James: I remember her, whether she would me, favourably or otherwise, I can't possibly comment James: I'll take you home when you want to go Ava: Really? Ava: well, I'll go at whatever time means I get some extra with you James: okay, I'll take that as my cue to leave now, not only because any reason to get out of here is welcomed though Ava: Please do Ava: talking about you so much has only made my need to be with you even greater James: I can absolutely relate & admit to having had the same urge all day Ava: Oh good Ava: we're on the same page James: that said, a necessary note in the margin would be that in actual fact I've felt that way much longer, because whatever I'm talking about, I'm thinking about you Ava: Sometimes I think I think about you too much Ava: but then I remember I'm the protagonist in this romance so it's not just acceptable but necessary James: you can do whatever you like, darling, it's your story Ava: In that case Ava: read on James: voraciously Ava: 🤤🤤 James James: I'm just making sure we're still on the same page Ava: You're gonna have trouble keeping me on the page Ava: and making me go home James: & the driver's eyes on the road, we may need more than the Twilight soundtrack on this occasion Ava: Pride & Prejudice 2005? Ava: gotcha, honey James: 😂 James: yes, exactly Ava: 😊 Ava: I love you so much James: I miss you so much James: if I could take you home with me, I very happily would Ava: I know Ava: one day James: after the move to the other side of the river, because we both know there is a line Ava: It's pretty exciting, isn't it? James: I'm glad to hear you think so because I was going to ask you if you'd like to come house hunting with me Ava: I'd love to! James: [a possible date soonish] ? Ava: That should be good for me Ava: I'll let you know if otherwise Ava: it'll be nice to look at some actual decent places, let's face it, I doubt my student digs will be all that inspiring, like 😏 James: barely room for whatever hazing pranks they have in store, I'm sure Ava: I'm still not convinced that particular visual doesn't just come from a certain type of movie, babe James: you'll have to let me know 😏 Ava: I'll make it good for you James: my faith in you remains unwavering Ava: 🙇 James: have you reconsidered your stance on spoilers? Ava: That does depend James: oh? Ava: have you dumped fake girl? James: she was very slow to accept her fate, but yes Ava: I can't blame her Ava: I wouldn't wanna lose you either Ava: [picture, assumedly in her friend's room or somewhere not just in front of them like oh hey] James: Ava Ava: Make traffic move faster please James: I'll do the quickest rewrite possible & see you at your friend's door Ava: I'll be waiting so patiently James: & I'll be waiting impatiently James: 😇 & 😈 Ava: I think you deserve to be 😈 right now Ava: been a long day, yeah? James: yes, though it feels longer now, stretching out with the queued traffic Ava: 🥺 Ava: we'll just have to see it as motivation to not waste a single second James: it's a promise, in or out of traffic Ava: I'm so lucky James: if you think you are, then I need a better word to describe my own fortune right now Ava: I'm just really happy Ava: in spite of anything else, everything else, right now James: good, me too Ava: 🥰 Ava: you deserve that even more James: you deserve more than I can possibly give you, however patiently you wait Ava: nuuh James: yes you do Ava: 😣 Ava: no Ava: and I want you James: I want you, I'm well aware that it doesn't mean I deserve to have you Ava: How could you possibly not James: because James: the reasons I lack words to describe you aren't even close to the reasons I lack them to describe myself Ava: but I can't describe you either Ava: not just because I'm no writer James: but you do, all the time, in both words & actions I can vividly see myself the way you think of me Ava: I'm glad Ava: keep looking, okay Ava: we'll work on the believing bit James: okay James: if you'd like to get in the car, we can start immediately

[the-amazing-spider-bi]

the college au nobody asked for I leta lestrange/newt scamander I 4k I ao3

The roommate AU in which otters hold paws while they sleep, Leta didn’t think she would ever fall in love with someone who can’t even handle his coffee without milk, Credence collects crushes on all of his male teachers like they’re Pokemons, and Dumbledore finds endless amusement in his students’ antics.

Read on ao3 or under the cut!

“Hi,” Leta says. “I heard your group was still missing a member for the Sociology of Fashion project, so I was wondering if I could join you?”

The gaggle of girls in front of her startles, but when Leta smiles, they smile back. She tries to be as friendly as she can - which is difficult since she is more used to projecting a bitch resting face than acting innocent - until they end up exchanging numbers and agreeing to meet at the library on Monday to write their outline.

They go their separate ways when the other girls, who are obviously a group of friends, go see a movie, and Leta pretexts a previous engagement so they don’t have to invite her out of pity. They still wave goodbye, and Leta smiles one last time before she turns around. She tightens her grey and green scarf around her neck and walks away in a flurry of fallen leaves. She is going to get coffee, by herself, and then barricade herself in the coffee shop until she finishes her Power and Privilege essay - for a seminar, it sure involved an enormous amount of work.

Leta isn’t the type of girl people like. According to her classmates, she is posh and weird and standoffish, all of which are true. She doesn’t talk or smile or try enough to please people. She knows she could, really - she just doesn’t care to. It is alright with her, though. She would rather be alone most of the time than go back to the endless string of dinners and playdates her parents used to make her attend back when she was a girl.

So she is surprised when her phone lights up with a notification, thinking these girls are really fast to text.

Newt Dorkmander: did you know otters hold paws when they sleep?

Newt Dorkmander: actually it is to avoid drifting off of course but still

Newt Dorkmander: the thought is lovely

She tries not to smile at her phone as she types, you do know just because it’s a text doesn’t mean this won’t be deduced from your daily animal facts quota, don’t you? - she has to take off her gloves to type, and then when she comes into the shop the sting from the cold metal handle surprises her.

Newt Dorkmander: i do my best to lighten a cold november day and this is how you thank me

Newt Dorkmander: i cannot believe it

“Well someone is uncharacteristically perky today.”

She pockets her phone and does her best impression of her grandmother’s dignified stare. In front of her, Credence the coffeehouse guy is grinning in his green apron, already preparing her cup. Credence the coffeehouse guy is exactly Leta’s type of man, by which she means he is quiet, doesn’t bother her any more than he has to, and brings her coffee.

“I’m not perky,” Leta states. “Take it back.”

“Nah, it’s too late, your reputation is ruined forever,” Nagini, who is almost always to be found wherever Credence is, says from that seat in front of the counter she claimed as hers at the beginning of the year.

Leta rolls her eyes at them. “You freshmen are growing more annoying every year.”

“You’re barely one year older than us,” Nagini points out.

“College years are like dog years,” Leta informs them. “As such, I am fifteen years wiser than you.”

Credence the coffeehouse guy smiles and says, “Americano?”

“Americano,” Leta confirms, and if she refrains from making a terrible The Fault in our Starsjoke, then she will carry this secret to the grave. But still. A genuine John Green reference. She spends way too much time with Newt.

Of course, this isn’t like it’s a recent development - they have known each other since they were thirteen and Newt quite literally stumbled in her life with freckled cheeks and messy hair, then through their teens when he tiptoed around awkwardly with a lanky, ridiculously tall figure and she rushed through everything with the dedicated anger of a rebellious posh girl.

Then Newt had been expelled, and everything in her life went bonkers, but this is the part she tries not to think about.

Credence hands her her coffee and doesn’t make any more comments about who she was texting or how happy she looked, because he doesn’t make it a habit to comment on people - or talk to them - and he really is one of her favorite persons on campus.  

She spends the rest of the afternoon hunched over getting five thousands more words done, and when she leaves, Credence the coffeehouse guy has been replaced by Rita the coffeehouse girl, who she likes a lot less. She takes care to avoid eye contact and pulls out her phone, scrolling through social media feed without really reading anything until a headline catches her eye. She reopens her conversation with Newt, whose last message was an apocalyptic string of texts about being out of tea.

Leta Lestrange: you know netflix just uploaded the new planet earth season

“I know,” he says.

She looks up, startled. “What are you doing here?”

Newt is standing up in his usual blue overcoat and a faded yellow Hufflepuff scarf she gave him for Christmas when they were sixteen. (They had a price limit that time, so she had to knit him the scarf and ended up buying one anyway after a few unsuccessful hours. It’s not like he noticed anyway.) He is so outrageously tall she has to tilt her head to see his face, just so that he can avoid her gaze.

He shrugs and smiles at the ground. “I was on my way from the library, and it’s nicer to go home together.”

She frowns. “And how did you know I was there? Mister Scamander, are you stalking me? Should I check for hidden cameras? Do you keep pictures of me under your pillows?”

“Don’t be silly,” Newt says placidly. “I sleep in the next room. I can just come over to watch you sleep the normal way.”

She laughs. “Always good to know you have a lot of opinions on the best way to stalk me.”

“Well, one can never be too prepared, can they? I could always end up as a handsome brooding vampire if my zoologist plan doesn’t work out. I think I have the smoulder.”

“You certainly dress like you’re from 1910,” she says.

“You’re just jealous you can’t pull off the trench coat detective aesthetic as well as I do.”

She opens her mouth to tell him he has never pulled off anything, ever, in his life, but feels a shiver crawling up the back of her spine and changes her mind. “Just a second,” she says as she whips around to glare at Rita the coffeehouse girl who watching them raptly from behind the class. She scrambles to pretend she is not.

“Being noisy is an understandable flaw, but there is nothing worse than being noisy and bad at it,” she says conversationally.

“If you’ve sufficiently scarred her, can we go now?” Newt asks. “I’m freezing.”

“Bossy,” she complains under her breath.

They walk home together.

Around them, the atmosphere is wet and chilly, and not quite snowy either, which is the worst type of weather, according to her. It feels like the cold slips into her clothes in between the threads to stick to her skin in a damp layer that feels like sweat, only much worse. She doesn’t think twice about leaning close to Newt to protect herself from it, and he doesn’t think twice about wrapping his scarf around her shoulders, still talking about the cool things he learned in Introduction to Zoology module. For the entirety of the trip home she drifts in and out of focus, sometimes picking a specific topic he brought up and asking for more details or an explanation, sometimes daydreaming when he explains some technical part of Neurology he doesn’t quite understand yet himself. By the time they get to their flat, he has moved on to complaining about his Introduction to Physiology, Pharmacology and Neuroscience course, by which he is clearly bored to tears and that he still wants to attend anyway. She doesn’t press him about it but she is pretty sure his scholarship involves perfect attendance.

They walk up three sets of stairs - the place is right outside campus in this tiny brick building, rent as cheap as any flat with three rooms can be, which means no elevators, to Leta’s great despair. Without having to ask she gets in front of him to open the door herself, because Newt always loses his keys inside the holes in his ancient coat pockets, so it is just faster this way.

Immediately as she opens the door a dash of brown fur bounces into the hallway, climbs the sleeve of Newt’s coat, settles his shoulder where its nibbles at his ears.

“Hello you,” she hears Newt coo at Pickett. She rolls her eyes good-naturedly as she goes to take off her coat inside. There is a hot shower she has been dreaming of ever since she woke up this morning waiting for her, and then undercooked pasta in front of an animal documentary.

Whoever said college students weren’t living the dream?

When she wakes up the next morning, Newt is hunched over on their couch, copper hair messed up beyond repair, eyes half closed. She takes in the sight of his plaid pajamas and the squirrel burrowed in his hair, because he keeps spoiling Pickett then being surprised when he doesn’t want to join his siblings in the great wild outdoors, the moron. He looks utterly miserable.

He started up the coffee maker, though, so she can work with this.

“We’re buying tea this afternoon,” she says, before adding, more gently: “Hey, do you want me to do that hot chocolatey coffee you like to survive your morning classes?”

“Yes, please,” Newt says in a tiny voice.

She presses her hand against his shoulder as she goes behind the counter to make him a mocha and make herself an entire Thermos of black coffee. He gets dressed while she pours them their drinks, by which she means puts on the first wool sweater he found and jeans. She does the same while he sips his cup and checks on all his rescued animals of the moment - Niffler the magpie with the broken wing who keeps escaping his hen coop to steal their shiny cutlery or her silver earrings, Pickett who resolutely doesn’t want to leave, and an enormous Maine coon Newt insists on calling Zouwu despite how ridiculous it sounds. When she leaves in a hurry of perfume and long trench coat with her Thermos in hand, Newt looks considerably perkier.

A few hours later, she is considering the pros and cons of the infamous Veggie Salad versus Caesarean Salad case. Since Newt’s class finishes in one hour when her afternoon ones begin, and, well, she doesn’t really have any other friend nor a lunch break long enough to go home, she is planning to get some food from the cafeteria before she goes to her classroom and eats in front of her book. It sounds sad, but it’s actually a very good book, Jane Austen’s Emma, which she had somehow never read before, her high school curriculum consisting only of Pride and Prejudice again and again and again. She is usually more of a gothic, Byronic hero kind of gal, with a bit of sci-fi thrown in when Newt recommends one of his nerdy books to her, but well, it’s Jane Austen.

She looks forward to that lunch alone watching Emma and Mr. Knightly fall in love. The universe doesn’t care about that.

“Fancy seeing you here,” Nagini says behind her.

She turns around slowly. The younger girl isn’t quite smiling, as she rarely ever does, but she looks as friendly as she can be with eyes surrounded by eyeliner and black lipstick, black clothes, black boots, black eye, black everything.

“Freshmen have lunch breaks now? Back in my time-” Leta starts teasing.

“You ate on the floor some gruel right out of the bowl before your Latin class started?” Nagini guesses.

Leta chuckles. “Close enough.”

“Wanna sit with us, or will it ruin your street cred?” Nagini asks, eyes shining with curiosity, or maybe just hunger.

Leta shrugs and pays for her salad at the counter. “If you promise never to use the words street cred ever again, sure.”

At Nagini’s left, Credence smiles shyly. She has never seen him out of his coffee shop uniform, and he is definitely not what she imagined, with a tiny silver cross hanging from a chain on his neck, a rainbow lapel pin on his jean jacket and an undercut.  They move from the cafeteria’s blinding artificial lights to the tables outside - they are already in winter and it is cold out, but Leta is used to avoiding loud, busy rooms, what with Newt’s condition, so it doesn’t bother her all that much. As for the two kids, tables are almost empty by this time of the year, so it doesn’t take a genius to get what their appeal can represent.

Nagini kicks up her feet on the table and leans sideways on Credence’s side while Leta has a wooden bench all to herself.

“So, about your ruined reputation,” Nagini starts. “What was up with you yesterday?”

“Did you see Professor Grindelwald falling down in the street?” Credence asks and takes a tiny bite of his apple.

“I wish,” Leta says, because if there is one thing that unites Nagini and her it is their mutual hatred for Grindelwald. He still teaches one of her classes today and she had him twice last year, once in her Introduction to Political Science class and another time in an Advanced Rhetorics option she picked up and gave up on soon afterward. The university is divided into two camps, really. There are those who think Grindelwald is like a white-haired, mole-rat-looking reincarnation of Jesus Christ or Martin Luther King or whoever teens idolize these days. Then there are people with common sense who see him for what he is, like Leta.

“The other day he took Credence’s phone in class and when he gave it back he changed his lock screen to a picture of him,” Nagini recalls. “Not even a funny picture, just this close up on his face, staring at the camera, Big Brother style. Credence still hasn’t changed it either.”

“What do you want?” Credence says with a self-aware smile. “I have terrible taste in men and daddy issues.”

“Gross,” Nagini whines.

“That’s not the problem,” Leta says. “The problem is out of all the silver fox material in this college - we have Dumbledore and Graves teaching - you went ahead and got a crush on him.”

“Bold of you to assume I don’t also have a crush on Dumbledore and Graves,” Credence says.

They laugh about it. Before an awkward pause can settle, Leta says, picking at her plate with suspicion, “Anyway, no, my roommate just sent me something funny.”

“What was it?”

Leta knows about retelling past jokes and that only waste, you just really had to be there, you know? and fake laughs this way come, so she says, allusively, “Just a fun fact about otters. He’s really into animals. He’s a bit of a dork about it, eats vegan, picks up every stray cat that crosses his path, the whole deal. Zoology students and all that.”

“Oh, that’s cool,” Nagini says. “This school has one of the best programmes in the country, don’t they?”

“Yes, that’s why we chose to come here,” Leta shrugs off, scrunching her nose at her salad, poking it around. It even smells weird. “This is way more disgusting than I remember it to be, isn’t it?”

There’s a silence. When she looks up, the two freaky twins are both raising their eyebrows the exact same way. It’s uncanny.

“That’s nice,” Credence drawls out.

“That my salad tastes like rotten grass?” Leta asks, raising an eyebrow as she grins at him.

“No, though it always tastes like cold garbage, so you only have yourself to blame,” Credence says. “You chose your college depending on your friend?”

Leta is uncomfortable. “He was - is my best friend. We met in boarding school when we were kids, with all the rich posh kids running around. It was hell, so, that makes friendship very intense.” They still look at her weirdly, and she is good with words, but even she doesn’t know how to convey the harshness of boarding schools when you are a bit different, a bit weird , so she adds: “Anyway, he was expelled in the middle of high school, and it was even worse without him here, so we decided we would stick together through college at least.”

She doesn’t talk about being the only black girl in her year, or Newt being diagnosed at thirteen, or how cruel children can be. Sometimes when she thought about it too long she felt so angry, almost as angry as she used to be in these years where she would talk back to the other kids when they mocked her and end up in detentions more weekends than not. She is quieter now, almost free of all of that teenage angst, better, but sometimes she feels like she is only pretending to be tamed, to be something she is not, like Pickett the domesticated squirrel.

“That’s actually very cool,” Credence says. “I can’t imagine living with my old middle school friends. Well, I didn’t have friends in middle school, probably because they were scared by my raw coolness, but even if I did, I guess I just changed a lot since then.”

“I don’t know. I never really thought about that,” Leta surprises herself by saying.

In the end, they move on from the subject to discuss Credence’s thing for every forty-something male teacher he meets, the revelations about a Moscow Trump tower, and salad that tastes like cardboard. When she gets to class, though, she keeps thinking over and over about growing up. She has always prided herself on being more perceptive than others - not even considering that Newt might be a different person as an adult than as a freckled thirteen-year-old is blindsiding her in a way she doesn’t care for.

She tries to forget about it and focuses on getting her degree.

But the thought planted by Credence sticks in the back of her mind, feeling so very foreign to her. It is relentless and invading and points its ugly, alien head at the most inappropriate moments throughout the week, and she can’t help but wonder.

She is the one who picks her roommate up at the end of his classes on Fridays, waiting with a coffee in hand for her and a chai for him. It is part of their routine. She watches the first wave of bouncing, impatient Bio students leave the building, then a second one, even bigger and noisier somehow, until Newt emerges from the lot and walks towards her. For the first time since they were fifteen, she appraises him. He looks like, well, Newt. So ridiculously tall he has to hunch over a little to pass doorsteps, shy smile, hands in his pockets. Then her gaze stays on him just a second too long, and he has the same wiry, messy-haired, freckled figure than when he was a kid, but maybe it looks less lanky now, somewhat. He doesn’t stare at the ground quite as much when he is out, his eyes darting from one point to the other in wonder, and suddenly she wishes she could know about the patterns he sees when he stares at the world like that.  

She still smiles in the same way she always does when she offers him his cup and his fingers brush against her gloved hand.

“Thank you so much,” he says, smiling. “Not to be dramatic, but I think if I have to listen to one more Neurology class, I might gouge out my own brain.”

“Lovely,” she comments. “You talk to Professor Dumbledore with that mouth?”

“Indeed, Mister Scamander,” an older man butts in with an amused expression and sparkling eyes behind half-moon glasses. “If you feel that strongly about my classes, I am always pleased to hear my students’ feedback during office hours.”

He trips over his own feet and stammers his excuses as Albus Dumbledore laughs at him in polite silences, and Leta tries not to be too amused by his misfortunes. If warmth oozes in her stomach, it must be either laughter or the hot coffee she is gulping down. It burns her tongue and her throat and keeps her hands busy not fixing Newt’s half-bent collar.

Newt is still talking with his hands to Dumbledore about his Zoology project when they leave campus. She has never had him in class, and never will, but even if she had never met him before, she would like him for the encouraging way he smiles as Newt talks to him about slugs’ brains or whatever he is explaining right now. Despite teaching one of Newt’s least liked courses - too many human examples, not enough slugs - he is still by far his favourite professor. It is enough for her.

Dumbledore goes home on a scooter, of all things, a Vespa, and Newt doesn’t get how funny it is when she tries to explain.

“I’m sure it’s very practical,” he tells her as they climb up the stairs.

“This is clearly not my point,” Leta says. “You’re just willfully blind because you have a crush on him.”

“What? I-I do not. He’s my teacher .”

Leta raises her eyebrows. Oh, really now. “And?”

“This is- wrong, and ridiculous, is what it is, and I will not talk to you about it any further.”

She stays silent as she opens the door. He gets even more flustered. His entire face is blushing all over, his skin like a sunset from his neck to the tip of his ears, and he fidgets with his sleeves, and it is sort of adorable, really.

“I don’t have a crush on Dumbledore!” he says, too loudly.

Then they go in and Niffler has gotten loose somehow and all of their spoons are in his cage, so he has reasons to get busy, but as soon as they’re sitting on their old couch again with a cup of hot cocoa, she raises her eyebrows again and he almost throws his cup at her. She breaks out laughing.

When she opens her eyes again, he is looking pointedly at his computer screen. This is when it happens. She can only witness in horror Newt’s profile rearrange itself in her head, move away from chubby cheeks and bitten lips, and this is when, as if she has never seen him before, she realizes he is handsome.

In some abstract way, she knew this before. She had noticed defined cheekbones, jawline, eyes with ever-changing colors, pushed him towards a girl or a boy or anyone and told him to just try his luck. It was only theoretical, though. It is like - she knows gravity exists, knows Earth rotates around the sun drawn by its sheer weight, but she also doesn’t know it, doesn’t understand it or feel the push of the sun’s attraction. This is like being in the reach of a supernova.

“Why are you still looking at me,” Newt complains, frowning at his screen.

Shit.

“No reason,” she says, not averting her eyes.

“Alright, so maybe I have a tiny crush on him. Just a smidge. It’s just- I- he’s so nice,” Newt says, turning around to look at her with wide, earnest eyes that look green today. “And a role model. Sort of.”

This is not the crush she is worried about.