#can we have niki's birthday party 2

[flemlem]

thougts about the creation stream [21.02.24] because i finally have them in order. Im going to try to keep this as factual as possible, but there may be some bits that I cant Not Be - also, this is going to be pretty damn long, i have many things to say and Im putting them all here, I'll try put all the opinions / heavy speculation at the end :>. Also sorry if it feels disjointed in places, I got real busy 2/3 of the way through and had to leave it for a while, so im not sure if i got all the points hit that i wanted to. (there should be a read more cause when i say long i mean Really Fucking Long but idk)

so first off, all the aliases that creation uses for other people (that I can find or reasonably assume).

Sunny (loved shell) rank 1

Chayanne (duck shell) rank 2

Tallulah (trauma shell) - rank 3

Empanada (pancake shell) - rank 4

Richarlyson - Rank 7

Tubbo - Primary Protector, Creator, Boss (unsure but will explain)

? - Centre Control

Philza - Guardian

Cellbit - Guardian (unsure)

Bagi - (slow) keeper

Niki - Keeper

mostly facts [though there are some interpretations and such]

tubbo is Really Really old. This is backed up by Many things, most on the stream, though a couple not. When creation is talking to chayanne in the ruins he says that tubbo created him a 'long long time ago'. The sheer amount of time is Also backed up by the fact that creation says he 'miss when this place was not ruins', did you see the state of those ruins? there were a few stacks of blocks left over on the tips of mountains that have virtually nothing distinct about them, the only descriptor used for all the blocks is also that they are ancient, so like-. The place has Lava surrounding it. In general just the state of the place kinda shows just how old it is. Though some fun things about qTubbo's age is that he Knows how old he is, or at least that he had been around for a long time. Going back to Fits birthday party when he says he's been dead for a long time. He is aware that he's been around a long time, though he doesnt add that to his age. In the message to Sunny he says that he's 20, not like, 70903405803. Just 20. cc!tubbo also confirmed on his alt stream later that qTubbo was infact 20 years old. He did also say that 'how long he's been around is another question' and then told people they were digging too far when they then asked how long qtubbo had been around for. He did however also say that 'his [qtubbo's] age stagnated when he was frozen' so qtubbo had to of been 19 when he got frozen [cause the 20th birthday was celebrated when tubbo was on the server].

Something that I have no clue about is exactly the connotations that are around it telling Chayanne that tubbo 'made me for you'. Creation also says something similar to Sunny at some other point in the stream. This is?? really confusing to me??? because it's heavily implied that Creation was created Before Tubbo was frozen. This could imply that Tubbo has re-programmed Creation at some point since being defrosted. Though the main running thing throughout Creations involvement has been that Tubbo Cannot Know About Creation At Any Cost. Originally it was Creation would die if Tubbo [Creator, specifically] knew. Then after Tubbo died it changed to Tubbo [Primary Protector, specifically] would die if he knew about Creation. Though then we get to something else that challenges this thought. During the recording shown at both the start and end of the stream Tubbo says that the message can only be unlocked by 2 people and that he never wants sunny to have to meet them. Obviously one of these people is Creation, as Creation mentioned on phils [and others] streams later the day that tubbo died that Creation had a message that could only be shown to sunny if Tubbo died, so this leaves 2 options for how this worked[that I can think of]. Either there was a moment in time, it had to of been after sunny was in tubbos care, in which he knew about Creation and Neither of them died. Or one of the people that could access the message passed it onto creation and tubbo was never aware of Creation.

Creation mentions 'The Old Order' as well, specifically that Creation misses the old order. The main question is about, what is the actual title of it? is it 'The Old Order', the 'Old Order' or the old 'Order'. If the title is just 'Order' and old is a descriptor then we could reasonably assume that it was a historical part of the current Order, though does Creation know about the current Order? Im unsure. If its either of the other ones then it's just a Title. Simply what the group is called. Not much is mentioned about the old order, other than that tubbo was at least associated with it, or they, somehow, stole Creation from him. It is also implied that they were at least where the ruins were, maybe all over the island, mainly from Creation saying that it misses the old order around when it mentions when the building wasnt ruins. Going off the block descriptions, this ruin is a ruin because of a 'past calamity'. Nothing else really mentioned about the calamity, just that that is why its ruins now.

The Operation is only mentioned a few times. It's never stated exactly what 'the operation' is. We know that the operation is something akin to a mission because when Tubbo first mentions it, in the 'if I died, last resort' recording, he says thats he never would of signed up for 'this scheme, this... operation if you will'. If he didn't say scheme before than it could of been, well, anything really, but the word scheme has some specific connotations that at the very least rules out some possibilities. After this first mention it is only referred to as 'the operation' [as far as I can find]. Creation does talk about it several times though. Something that it says is that it was a last effort to 'hold on' before Tubbo joined the operation. This implies that creation was made Before tubbo joined the operation. In the same last resort recording Tubbo does specifically say 'I would not have signed up for something like this'. He Signed Up to take part in whatever operation they are referring to. There is the implication that he signed up for this specifically because he didnt have Anything to care about before he signed up for it. He had nothing to live for, no... Purpose one may say?[side eye emoji]

okay so, the data. This is... something. In the description of the item it says that it was made by tubbo, the main thing is, When? We can glean a few things about this data from the stream [and a couple other places]. Going further into the description of the item. It says that it tracks Tubbo's vitals, statistics and locations. Going slightly out of this stream, this could be heavily why tubbo is Wrong. It doesn't say that it has his feelings or personality. Another thing to do with that is that tubbo did at Some Point send a chat that said that the data was incomplete/something along those lines[dont ask me when, I dont remeber, im pretty sure theres a screenie floating around in one of the tubbo tags tho]. Something that I find kind of weird is when Creation tells sunny that Creation cant promise that Tubbo will come back the same. The way its phrased could mean 2 things in my opinion. The first one being that Creation simply Does Not Know what is contained in the data. Creation does not know how much of Tubbo is in there, when it was made, if it's been damaged, if its been Tampered With. Or something that I think is almost as plausible, Creation phrases it that way because Creation is talking to a Child. One of Creations main purposes seems to be protecting the Eggs, both physically and emtionally [see: Creation hugging Sunny after Tubbo died] so maybe Creation was trying to break it to Sunny as gently as possible. Not straight up say 'Your dad is going to be Different' but just, something small to prepare them for it, so that Sunny isn't blind sided by the change. The data was also in Central Control's possession. When they have to go grab the data creation specifically says that 'Central Control has delivered it'. So Some How, CC got the data. This also raises some questions about the password on the chest the data was in. Why was it Sunny's adoption day? Did Tubbo make the box and CC can just teleport things into it at will but not change the password?

What exactly Is Creations purpose? We are told that it has something to do with protecting the eggs, but also not Entierly revolving around them. We are told that tubbo created it for chayanne and sunny, we can reasonably asume that its not just for them but All the eggs. But creation shuts down after guiding the construction of the revival machine, saying that its purpose is finished. But that has nothing to do with the eggs? This doesnt fit with the rest of the pieces we have on the board to me because it was called the First Video Log. Why call it the first if there was never going to be a second? Surely if Creations only purpose was to resurrect tubbo then it would of known that it was going to die. And also just protecting the eggs cant be its only purpose because then it wouldnt of said that it could shut down because its purpose wouldnt of been complete? Its purpose Never would of been complete until all the eggs were dead? This confuses the fuck outta me. Though something about its purpose does seem to be that it is to learn. It comes off very naieve about the world at large, though it trusts sunny when they tell it that the boat will keep the water away. It seems in awe of most things around it, or surprised or dismissive. saying 'woah' when looking at the station . Saying 'oh my god' when the creeper explodes. it says 'I did this for you [boss]' after saying that it was learning fast. Learning seems to have a lot to do with it's purpose. Tubbo says, in the Alt stream later that 'It's [creation] just a little guy... mainly copying, trying to fit in to not like, fail it's purpose' We could take this as learning to fit in being its purpose, Or the more obvious one being that its purpose relies heavily on being able to fit in. Is that so that the eggs and parents trust it to care for the eggs? or does it have something to do with the old order?

Now we get more into theory and heavy interpretation area, so buckle up {a lot of this next bit is half baked thoughts that I cant connect to anything else, so, yeah}

Something about Tubbo's character specifically, kind of related to his age? though more so to do with What The Ever Loving Fuck his character IS. So. QTubbo has been around for A While, that we know, we Also know that hes been dead for a long time as well. We know that hes not a robot, curtesy of Creation's 'not like a robot, no'. Though, where does that then leave him. He can still be restored, he can be shut down and he's been dead for a long time. And yes, specifically dead. Why? because when talking about Creation tubbo says that it was never alive in the first place so 'not dead, no', whenever qTubbo is talked about, the word 'Dead' is Always used. Never anything else, so he Was alive At Some Point. Though then theres the question of How The EverLoving Fuck Can He Die If He Is Already Dead???? idfk

Okay so, next thing. I fully think that the calamity has something to do with how tubbo got frozen. Whether the calamity has something to do with Why creation was created in the first place, if said calamity has something to do with the reason why creation was a last attempt to hold on. it could also be something to do with the reason why tubbo was frozen. If its less so a punishment and more so something along the lines of recuperation, then maybe he got hurt. Or it could be something to do with 'The Operation', Im just kind of spit balling at this point. Maybe the calamity wasnt natural. maybe the operation was some kind of last ditch effort to go against some All Powerful being or group.

SO explaining the thing about putting 'Boss' in Tubbos list of alias'. This is Very Heavily how IM interpretating this. When they are collecting the blocks in the ruins, there are a couple times that Creation goes in F5 and starts talking, staring directly into the 'camera'. During this he says 'Boss I am learning fast, see how well I'm doing. I did this for you.' and 'Boss one day I hope you will remember me'. This is heavily off of that second one. 'I hope you will remember me one day'. Sure, 'boss' could be near anyone, Infact there is a high chance that 'boss' is Central control. But just. hear me out [which i hope youre doing if youve read this far down]. Who else could Creation reasonably label 'boss'? Who do we Know does not remember creation? Tubbo Created creation, and has subsequently forgotten about creation, whether thats of his own volition, for his safety or some other reason, I dunno, but I think its got legs.

[aro-throughyourchest]

Uninvited Guests

Word count: 1976 Jack-Manifold Centric/Bitter Duo Centric Summary: Hey, remember that one time I made a hypothetical where Jack threw a party and only Tommyinnit showed up? Well I hate myself!

He did everything right.

He really did.

There were decorations everywhere; the invitations had the location, time, coordinates; he even brought fucking balloons. They were childish as fuck, but he bought them 2 silver ingots for a box and 1 diamond for a pump. (Bit of a ripoff if you asked him for one fucking pump.)

The food was on the table, (Niki made cupcakes, you bastards,) the table was set, everything was there; all they had to do was show. Not even bring a present! Just show up.

So why was Jack Manifold standing there like the dumbest motherfucker in the world with his shitty balloon in hand staring at an empty room with no one but Niki?

“Jack, I-”

“Don’t.”

The words slipped out of his mouth before he had a chance to stop them, and he could see the resignation on Niki’s face. He didn’t mean to say it like that, but Prime, wasn’t this the saddest sight?

He could already see Niki starting to open her mouth, and he already had a hand up before she could say something.

“They’re not coming. I can already tell you.”

Niki waved her hands hesitantly, “Well, maybe if we just give it a little more time, they-”

“Just let it go.” Jack collapsed into his chair, covering his face with his hands. The balloon floated up to the wooden ceiling. “I want to let it go.”

Niki looked on with concern and soon, disappointment. Jack couldn’t stay mad at Niki but fuck. He knew in his fucked-up little heart that no one ever show, he knew this was going to happen- But admitting... That for five seconds- He felt optimistic? For five seconds, when he handed out the letters and he saw genuine intrigue in someone else’s eyes or consideration, he felt the lightest flutter of stupid hope- Of maybe a chance of them showing up? The shame- Of just having hope.

He needed a drink.

“Jack, no, you are not drinking on your birthday-” Niki responded and chased after him.

Jack reached through the cabinets, and Niki quickly took down his arm. They made eye contact, Jack finally seeing the fire in her eyes, and he dragged a hand over his glasses.

“I’ll be fine, I just- I fucking hate this, Niki.”

“I know...”

“You said they would show.”

“I know...”

“And no one’s fucking her-”

Jack stopped and turned to the door with Niki at the slightest creak, watching as it popped open. Jack’s jaw hung open while Niki’s eyes lit up.

A mess of blonde hair stuck its head through the opening, the owner bringing an invitation with it.

“This is Manifoldland, coordinates 24, 63, 89, innit?”

“NO! GET THE FUCK OUT!”

“Jack!” Niki snapped, slapping him lightly on the arm as Jack gestured very angrily to the ‘intruder.’

“Oh good, because I was worried this was Jack Manifold’s party, the party I was invited to, and not someone else’s.”

Tommy plucked a balloon from the stand Jack set up and strolled over, placed a present in Jack’s arms and strolled over to the table to take a seat.

Jack gestured to Niki wildly. “What the fuck am I supposed to do about him?”

She looked over to Tommy quickly before dragging Jack out into the hallway. “I know you hate him-”

“I don’t see why you stopped, frankly.”

“He showed up, Jack.”

Jack realized in that moment what she meant, but quickly replaced the idea with ambivalence.

“So?”

Niki smiled and took his hand in hers. “Can you give him a chance?” She asked.

Jack paused.

“He showed up, Jack. Doesn’t that mean something?”

She motioned to the present, now sitting on the counter.

“He brought you a gift too.”

A shudder sent up Jack’s spine.

Yeah. Gifts.

“But...“

“I’m not saying forgive, or even let go of your history-” She made a face. “I know how hard that is.”

Jack bit his lip.

“But you could try to tolerate each other.”

He sighed, spying a quick glance at Tommy and immediately furrowing his brow. “I don’t want him here.”

Niki furrowed her own brow. “Well, he’s here now, Jack. You can kick him out or... Tolerate him for a couple minutes.”

She pulled him back into the main room, where Tommy seemed to be playing a joyous game of bap the balloon. Classy.

“What if I don’t want to do this?”

“It’s pretty hard to split a cake between two people, Jack,” Niki joked, but the intent was the same.

He sighed. “Fine. But if he starts acting stupid, I’m kicking him out.”

Niki nodded and still noticed the tension on Jack’s face, placing a hand on his back. She could not deny this was strange.

“So- What? What do I do?” “Well, what did you plan to do if someone came?”

Jack thought for a minute and ran to the back of the room, pulling something out of a closet.

“Why didn’t you just leave the games out?” Tommy interjected. Jack internally worried about how much he heard.

“Didn’t feel like it.”

Maybe he thought conversation would be a good ice breaker; it would not be a good ice breaker with Tommy Innit.

Jacks brought out a box of-... Fuck sakes.

“Did you seriously buy a game of fucking Jacks?”

“Did you seriously buy a game of fucking-” Jack mocked. “Fuck you, I know how to play! That’s all that matters! Don’t be a dickhead.”

He slammed the box on the ground and dumped the jacks and ball out, quickly realizing Jack was the only one who knew how to play jacks. Fuck you.

He took a singular jack in hand and gestured to it.

“Okay we know what this is, right?”

“A jack.” Tommy pointed out, Niki snickering beside him.

Jack falsely laughed. “You’re lucky I don’t lob this at your head.”

“I’m lucky Niki Nihachu’s right there.”

Tommy smugly pointed to an unimpressed Niki Nihachu.

Jack cleared his throat and nodded, “Right.”

He shot nervous eyes over to Niki and continued with the game.

“So... How you play is right-”

As he explained the rules, Tommy seemed determined to butt in and make Jack look silly, but once the game began- He looked more and more relaxed, almost rubbing off on Jack. It was almost fun. No, that couldn’t be right.

Tommy shot his arms in the air with a loud, “YEAHHHHH!!”

“I’m so good at this game!”

Jack groaned. He was so fucking bad at this game.

Even Niki had a good lead with her, getting all the way to ten jacks relatively quickly.

Jack...

Not so well.

“How am I dead last?”

“Get good, Manifold,” Tommy gloated and wrote a new score for himself on the board.

“It’s almost like you’ve played before!”

Something akin to dread filled Tommy’s face as Niki raised a hand. “I’ve never played before.”

“Yeah,” Tommy said. “Maybe you’re just bad at it.”

“Oh, shut up.”

Jack didn’t fail to notice the way his voice shook and the way Tommy almost immediately went back to character.

“Come on, Jack,” Tommy said, tossing Jack the ball. “At least catch up to Niki.”

“Hey!” Niki punched him in the arm. He didn’t flinch. Was that a good thing?

With a quick hand, Jack threw the ball and...

“Fuck yeah, six!”

He threw the ball again and grabbed the other four, and Tommy uncapped the marker.

“So Jack’s new score, with that six, is... 14.

“But you’re close and that’s good!”

Jack sighed, and Niki patted him on the shoulder.

“Alright, Niki’s go-”

Niki cheered. “10, oh my gosh, 10!”

She giddily looked over to Tommy who put down the whiteboard. “Well played, Niki Nihachu. Well played..."

She giggled, and even Jack couldn’t find it in himself to be mad. Why was he happy? He hated Tommy. And yet he was having fun. 

Niki pushed herself up from her place on the floor with a smile. “Alright, I’ll go grab the cake.”

That left Tommy and Jack.

Without Niki there to balance Jack out-

“So. Why’d you come?”

Not picking up or not caring about the hostility, Tommy answered.“A party sounded fun. Spend all my time stuck inside anyway, might as well.”

His mouth formed a taut line. He waved his hand, and it went away. “Plus you said Niki would be baking and that’s never not a bonus.” He plucked a cupcake from the table behind him to prove his point.

Niki brought out the cake before any more questions could be asked. “Thank you for coming, Tommy, otherwise, me and Jack would’ve had to eat all this by ourselves.”

It wasn’t as much a problem as she let on, but Tommy took the gratitude anyway. She struck a flame over the candles, and they began to sing.

It was clear Tommy, nor Jack, very well knew the words, but it helped that Niki coached them along.

She cut three slices of cake and passed it out to the two; Jack didn’t notice the tremor in Tommy’s hand as he lifted the fork and... “I’ll.” He set it down. “I’ll wait to eat.”

“Oh!” Niki smiled. “That’s okay- You’ve kinda been eating all our snacks anyway.”

They laughed, and Tommy leaned back in his chair. “I thought this party was gonna turn out shit, you guys aren’t bad hosts. Really.”

“Well, you aren’t a bad guest.”

Jack smiled. “Yeah-” What the fuck was he saying?

Tommy sighed and checked his communicator. “Oh. Tubbo said save him some cake. He’s bringing Michael over.”

That got Jack’s attention.

“He is?”

He didn’t mean to say that as loudly as he did.

The party went. Swimmingly after that.

There’s a better word, but Jack really couldn’t describe it. Turns out, bringing a child wasn’t as grating as Jack expected when he opened the door. They kept Tommy.

And party games were a lot better with more than just three people. Even considering Tubbo’s desire to turn them up to 11 and make them genuinely dangerous. And when all was said and done and the party winded to a close, Jack could confidently say...

“I actually didn’t mind having you over.”

Tommy blinked and rolled his eyes. “Oh thank you for the high honor, Jack. I’m so flattered.”

“Oh fuck off.”

Tommy sighed, grabbing his things. “And maybe I didn’t mind coming over.”

“Oh thank you for the high honor, Tom-” “Fuck you!” Tommy laughed.

“I mean, you got Tubbo to come, which was pretty cool.”

He sat up, watching Niki and Tubbo struggle to get a jacket on Michael.

“Niki enjoyed having you over too,” Jack continued.

“Thanks.”

Tubbo strolled over, jacket now fully on Michael as he fiddled with the zipper.

“We’re gonna head home, it’s getting dark,” he said. Michael responded with a quick, “Baba,” something Jack was pretty sure meant bye-bye, and Tubbo grabbed his things.

They waved goodbye and headed out the door.

Tommy got up and stretched. “I should get going too. Is it alright if I bring a couple of snacks to Shroud?”

Jack held up a hand, and Tommy ran over to the table to start bagging food.

“Thanks for coming,” Niki said, hanging him his coat.

“Really it’s nothing at all.”

That meant more than what he said.

“I know what it feels like when no one shows up, if I could spare that, that’s enough.” Tommy smiled, and before Jack could question, he was out the door.

“...Bye Tommy.”

Niki sat down next to him with a sigh. “Well you gave him a chance.” She leaned against him. “Did you hate it?”

“I guess I didn’t.”

Tommy pulled his coat tighter around him.

There were decorations everywhere; the invitations had the location, time, coordinates; he even brought fucking cake. The food was on the table, the table was set, everything was there; all they had to do was show. Just show up.

So why was Tommyinnit sitting at an empty table with only Dream?

[cquackity]

5am delirious tntduoisms

[irrealisms]

okay so my most recent web weave was not in fact Intended to be about the dsmp but. while we are all here and thinking about metafiction and the dsmp. let’s talk about c!wilbur in pogtopia because it’s something that makes me chew on the drywall. specifically let’s talk about this bit that i transcribed, from his oct 17 VOD, at 33:47:

My L'Manberg. My L'Manberg. Ohhh. (hits desk) As long-- Chat, Tommy and Big Q can't know this. As long as I know the button is here. As long as I know. Hold on-- as long as I know the button is here. As long-- I'm-- it's just-- not, not today. I just need to know that it's there, for a fallback. I need to know it's there. You're saying "do it", chat, but you're-- this isn't-- you aren't affected, you just want to see explosions, you guys aren't affected, I understand, I understand, I-- I've been hasty. But the fact that I know it's there, and I can just.. stroke my right mouse button. (deep breath) That's all I need. As long as I know it's there. I'll be back. (breaks open exit) I'll be back for this. (leaves, blocks up exit. takes a deep breath.) Where are they, they've just left, they've just left the VC, where have they gone, have they gone to-- (clicking) I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Not sorry to you, I'm sorry to chat, I'm apologizing to chat.

now there’s a lot of things you could say about this--in particular the “I just need to know it’s there, for a fallback” is something I could talk about for ages-- but the thing I want to focus on here is that he’s very aware of his audience and what his audience wants. he’s aware of his chat, he talks to them directly. more than that, he’s aware that they want him to destroy things-- but only because it’s entertaining for them and they won’t actually have to live with the consequences. yet he still wants to do what they want-- he’s sorry to them for not doing what they want him to do. he’s more openly sorry to his chat than he is to c!Tommy or c!Quackity, who he has just put in a life-or-death situation.

(we also see him, throughout his time on the dream smp--during unambiguously in-character moments--look directly at and address the camera; here’s a video compilation of that. he’s definitely aware of the fourth wall!)

i also want to talk about a couple other things from pogtopia. the first is his famous conversation with Tommy about Chekhov’s gun (also from his October 17th VOD, 30:14):

Wilbur: You know what they say. Have you heard of something called a Chekhov’s gun, Tommy? Tommy: No. I’ve heard of a real gun, but… Wilbur: A Chekhov’s gun is the-- is an idea in, in, in plot devices, where if you tease something for long enough, and you keep showing it off, you have to do it at some point.

And he clearly considers himself bound to this! On November 16th, when deciding to blow up L’Manberg, he leaves the main VC to deliver a soliloquy, and the first thing he says is “Chekhov’s gun.” (The second thing he says is “I’ll be honest with you, chat”, emphasizing that this is directed to his chat, rather than just to himself.) But it’s an idea in plot devices. Most people do not consider Chekhov’s gun to be something that constrains the real world. It’s a dramatic principle, for writing a good story. c!wilbur is--at all times but particularly in pogtopia--aware that he is in a story, that he’s performing for an audience. Twice, in the button room conversation on October 17th, he exclaims “I’m such a fucking showman”, having been derailed in his plans to blow everything up due to his desire for an audience (in this case, because he brought Tommy and Quackity to watch)--

[27:20] I should have just done it. I should-- I’m such a fucking showman. I’m such a sh-- I should have just done it.

[29:37] I should have just-- I’m such a fucking showman.

And then, at Niki’s birthday party, when he derails it to go to the button room, we get the famous comment to Quackity of “you’re going to watch”, but we also get this comment:

[2:56:24] Look, I was waiting for there to be a stream that lots of people were watching, uh, before I did this-- because I didn’t want to do this off-stream, you know?

now, can you take this as an OOC comment? sure. but... he’s going to the button room, he’s talking about how he wants to blow everything up, Quackity has to talk him down by proposing a timeline for a meeting with Schlatt. he’s shown, in character, repeatedly, that he wants an audience of the other dsmp members; and he’s shown, in character, repeatedly, an awareness of the fourth wall, of his chat, of the camera and the audience. I think it’s fair of me to argue that this was IC, that c!wilbur was waiting for a big stream because he wanted a large viewer count for his suicide.

I don’t really have a conclusion to this, just... man, is that fucked up or what? Even more so because he’s right, he is a character in a story. There are people watching him, people who don’t necessarily care about him--or, at least, not in the same way as they would care about a “real person”? Obviously I care about him as a character immensely or else I wouldn’t have written all of this, but, like, if he were a real person I cared about, I would not be writing meta about his suicide, and presumably his chat would have been wildly different. As it is, I want the story to be interesting; I want it to be satisfying; I want it to cohere. I am interested in catharsis, in setup and payoff. I am much more flexible wrt whether him or his friends and family are happy and alive. and in Pogtopia he shares these priorities-- in addition to, among other things, his desire for attention, to put on a show, to be remembered. there are definitely other things going on as well, but it’s... a very bad combination, for him. and he dies for it, for us, for a satisfying finale, for the 100,000 people watching and egging him on.

[rynzii-419]

c!Quackity canonically has a fat ass + why that fact actually has some narrative importance for his character

Yeah I’m making a whole post about the surprisingly controversial size of Quackity’s ass, just, stick with me here. also heads up im gonna stop sayin “c!” and just saying the names but just know im only talking abt characters lol

Anyway. First of all, let’s discuss the opposite belief: Quackity is a flatty patty. It was a running joke on the smp, and it was started by Schlatt the day after they won the election. The days before when they had planned their joint presidency, Schlatt had established that Quackity’s whole value and purpose in the cabinet was for him to be pretty and have a fat ass. Now, do we really trust Schlatt’s judgement? The man was a drunk and just plain abusive. I’m not entirely sure if the other members of the Manburg cabinet joined in, but I know that if they did it wasn’t nearly as often as Schlatt, so he was definitely the spearhead of the “flat ass q” truthers. But, even Schlatt contradicted himself from time to time. He said multiple times, including his death scene, that Quackity and his “fat ass” left him, even though he later said “flatty patty” as his last words. Basically, tldr, i think Schlatt’s opinion is irrelevant and he contradicts himself too much to be taken seriously.

Alternatively, there are multiple scenes of Wilbur being caught staring at Q’s ass, anywhere between the very beginning of the elections all the way to Niki’s birthday party. Once when building the White House, once during the stream “we must get voters”, once when Tommy and Q told him about Plan Ass, and honestly probably a few more times that i just don’t remember right now. I trust him a bit more because hes fruity because he had no reason to make Quackity, his rival, feel better about his body. Plus, they even thought his ass was a solid enough plan to actually try out.

Now for why it matters narratively.

Schlatt changed Quackity and I think we all know that. He belittled Quackity all the time and I believe a lot of the way he thinks is built off of that now. I think he has been put down by people like Schlatt (and even Techno just by not treating him as a real threat) so much that he now has this concept that everyone looks at him that way, like hes worthless and can’t do anything right because all he’s good for is his looks.

I feel like a very important part of this is that he actually does look the way Schlatt initially said he did, but Schlatt then made him think that was what he should put all his worth into and used that information to hurt Q and emphasize that Schlatt was the leader and Quackity was nothing. And obviously, Schlatt calling Quackity stuff like flatty patty did hurt him a lot, because what if it was true? What if Schlatt was right and he was worthless now? It really pissed him off to hear it (and still does it seems) and in that first stream he immediately got to work on a workout thing that would make him have a fatter ass and kept calling Schlatt over to see if he approved or if he was proud. It was fucked up honestly.

Now he’s trying to work past that. He’s trying to be the big powerful guy who can do whatever he wants. We can see that a lot in how he always tries to prove that he could defeat Techno (someone he has a serious grudge against) and can crush Dream’s spirit. Mf has always been obsessed with power, the only difference is that now he has better weapons, armor, and a country of his own. Maybe that’s why he sounded so smug sending Wilbur away. He really thought “thats right, im better than Wilbur, this is my country and its stronger and better and it doesn’t need you.” Plus now he’s seeing that Wilbur respects him as an opponent, so he’s just as addicted to this rivalry as Wilbur is.

Long story short:

1. A few months ago I was drawing Quackity and thought “wait do i give him a fat ass or no” and ever since, I’ve cared about the answer to that question way too much.

2. I’m incapable of writing analysis without ending it with a small touch of tntduo

[sabinanotfound]

45 Prompts for Hand-Holding

I stumbled across this post and I had to do it. Enjoy... (also it’s the best experience when you switch to the goth rave mode)

45 prompts (actually 42 since I skipped the 12th and the 13th one because I wasn’t comfortable and the 26th one, because I had 0 ideas) and all are SFW.

Includes; Wilbur Soot, cc!Technoblade, GeorgeNotFound, Nihachu, Karl Jacobs, platonic!Ranboo, Dream, SapNap, Quackity (separately)

Warnings: specified before each prompt <3 credit to @creativepromptsforwriting for the amazing prompts

REQUESTS OPEN

1. Tiny hands in big hands (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

Wilbur was absentmindedly fiddling with your hand as the bus made its way through the traffic. “Your hands are so tiny,” he said, making you chuckle. You interlocked your fingers with his, leaning your head onto his shoulder.

2. Calloused hands in soft hands (cc!Technoblade x gn!reader) TW || anxiety

“It’s okay, you’re with me now,” you said softly, trying to calm Techno down. You took his calloused hands in yours, letting him relax and fall asleep in your embrace.

3. Cold hands in warm hands (GeorgeNotFound x gn!reader)

“Oh, and we should definitely see this place!” George exclaimed. For the past few hours he was excitedly showing you around London, but there was only one problem; the cold. When you didn’t respond, George turned to you and immediately noticed you shivering. He laughed softly before taking your cold hands in his warm ones. Let’s say, this method of warming up was your favorite.

4. Hands for the perfect ratio to each other for hand-holding (Nihachu x gn!reader)

You and Niki held hands as you sat on the couch watching a movie. You suddenly thought of how nice your hand fit in hers. “Niki, look it’s like our hands were made for each other!” you said and she laughed, pulling you into a sweet kiss.

5. Platonic hand-holding (platonic!Karl Jacobs x gn!reader)

You walked around the city with your best friend, absentmindedly holding each other’s hand and swinging them back and forth just because. Nothing mattered but your friendship and the beautiful views in front of you.

6. Running their thumb over the other’s hand (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader) TW || anxiety

As you entered the party, you regretted coming. There were way too many people for your liking. But this was your best friend’s birthday party and you couldn’t just ditch her like that. Wilbur turned to you and noticed your uncomfortable face. He took your hand in his tracing small circles on it with his thumb, letting you calm down.

7. Dancing with their hands holding onto each other (Dream x gn!reader)

“May I dance with you, my love?” Dream said as he held out his hand to you, smiling. A smile made its way onto your face as you swayed to the slow music, your hand in his.

8. Squeezing hand for comfort and encouragement (platonic!Ranboo x gn!reader)

You looked at Ranboo before making your way to the stage. He gave you a reassuring smile before squeezing your hand one last time and mouthing the words: “You can do this.”

9. Holding hands across the table (SapNap x gn!reader)

A fancy table set up at home due to the virus quickly spreading, candles light up and you two. The perfect date. You took a deep breath before putting a hand on Sapnap’s which was resting on the table. “Sap, I love you so so much. Will you marry me?” he looked at you with nothing but love and happiness in his eyes. “Yes, yes yes,” he said, stretching over the table to give you a kiss.

10. Happily doing everything with one hand even if it means they don’t have to let go (Quackity x gn!reader)

Alex stirred the pot as you chopped onions. Both doing your tasks with one hand. Ask why? Because why let go of your lover's hand when can *almost* do everything with one?

11. Not wanting to lose each other in a big crowd (Nihachu x gn!reader)

The crowd was huge. You knew there were many people who liked the same band as you, but this many people were unexpected. You held onto Niki's hand not to lose her in the huge crowd. "Niki, now I have an excuse to hold your hand at all time." you both laughed, making your way closer to the stage.

14. Grabbing hand to show them something (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

The Louvre was a really pretty museum, and you wanted to see everything. "Look, Wil, there's that famous painting I've been wanting to see!" you tugged on his arm as he chucked at your enthusiasm, following you to the painting.

15. Loosely holding onto each other’s hands, laying in one’s lap (GeorgeNotFound x gn!reader)

George laid in your lap as one of your hands loosely held his, and the other played with his hair. This must be what people call peace.

16. Only linking the pinkies together, not ready to let go completely (cc!Technoblade x gn!reader) TW || death, blood, angst

They had found you. Techno was too late and now there you were, laying on the floor and covered in blood. He let out a sob and the only sign of you being alive was your pinkie you had linked with his. And then your chest stopped. You were gone.

17. Holding hands while skating (Dream x gn!reader)

"I'm going to fall!" you shrieked, as Dream just smirked and held your hand tightly. "No, you're not. Look, you're already getting a hang of this!" he encouraged as you straightened your back, a little less afraid.

18. Excitedly grabbing each other’s hands during a concert, jumping up and down together (Karl Jacobs x gn!reader)

"I love this song!" you screamed over the song, as Karl nodded, continuing to bop his head to the music. You jumped up and down as the melody got faster. Your hands were linked and you were sure this was the best concert ever.

19. Playing with each other’s fingers (SapNap x gn!reader)

You sat next to him at his desk, watching as he edited yet another video. One of his hands was in yours while you fiddled with his fingers. He turned to you and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "I love you, baby."

20. Pressing the other’s hand against their cheek (Quackity x gn!reader) TW || sick reader

“How are you feeling mi amor?” Alex asked as he entered your room with a bowl of soup. “I’m feeling better, thanks to you.” you smiled at him as he sat on the bed, checking your fever. You took his hand in yours, pressing it against your cheek. “Thank you for taking care of me, I love you.”

21. Holding hands while one is balancing on a small wall (Nihachu x gn!reader)

You held Niki’s hand as she balanced on the small wall, laughing. Suddenly she slipped on a rock and landed into your arms as the both of you giggled.

22. Grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back from something (Dream x gn!reader)

“BE CAREFUL!” You felt your hand being pulled, just in time as a car flew by. Dream pulled you into his chest, hugging you as your breaths got steadier.

23. Holding hands under the table (Quackity x gn!reader) TW || someone talking shit abt Quackity

“And how’s it going with your uh...career?” Alex’s friend said sarcastically, obviously making fun of him. Alex’s muscles tensed, and you held his hand under the table, giving it a subtle squeeze. He smiled. “Better than yours.” As you two stood up and left.

24. Only realizing it when they have to let go (SapNap x gn!reader)

“Sap, it’s okay, I’m fine now. You don’t have to hold my hand. Thank you so much for the support.” SapNap looked at you, his gaze shy. “What if I don’t want to let go?” it was almost inaudible, but you heard it. You smiled, interlocking your fingers together. That’s a way to confess your feelings.

25. Standing in front of each other, holding both their hands (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

“y/n, I’ve been meaning to tell you something,” Wilbur said, holding both of your hands. You looked at him curiously, your brows slightly furrowing. “Will you marry me?” you gasped, immediately smiling. “YES, YES AND YES!” you screamed as Wilbur slid a pretty ring on your finger.

27. Passionate hand-holding (Karl Jacobs x gn!reader)

“Hii.” you said before plopping onto the couch next to Karl. You intertwined your fingers, wanting to never let go as soon as his hand touched yours.

28. Grabbing the other’s hand so they don’t fall (GeorgeNotFound x gn!reader)

“y/n, be careful, there’s a bump there,” George said as he pointed to the part of the road just ahead of you. Seems like he’d said it too late, because the next thing you knew, you were falling down. But thanks to George’s reflexes he held your hand just in time, preventing you from hitting the ground. “Thank you,” you breathed out, pressing a kiss on his cheek.

29. Holding hands while running through the rain (cc!Technoblade x gn!reader)

“I told you this'd be fun!” you said as the both of you ran around in the rain, laughing and holding hands.

30. Brushing against each other, linking fingers together for a second (Dream x gn!reader)

Your breath hitched as Dream’s hand brushed yours lightly, and as your pinkies linked for a second, you started to question if your feelings towards him were really platonic.

31. Grabbing their hand to grab their attention (Quackity x gn!reader)

“Babyyyyy.” you whined as you came into Alex’s room. “You’ve been editing for so long already, you need to get some rest, and also give me cuddles.” Alex chuckled as he turned to you in his chair. “Ten more minutes mi amor.” he said, also missing you a lot. But today you weren’t having it, so you grabbed his hand and tugged on it. He rolled his eyes and chuckled, following you to the couch in the living room.

32. Not really paying attention, both doing something else, but still holding hands (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

“Baby?” Wilbur asked and you hummed in response, not tearing your eyes off of your book. Your hand was in Wilbur’s who was scrolling through his phone. “I love you.” you turned to him, smiling. “I love you too, Wil.”

33. Bandaging the other’s hand and not quite letting go (SapNap x gn!reader) TW || a small injury

“You should’ve been more careful.” your best friend complained as he bandaged your hand. You had accidentally broken a cup and a piece of glass had cut your hand. When Sap finished his hand lingered on yours a little longer, making your cheeks lightly heat up.

34. Holding hands while driving (Karl Jacobs x gn!reader)

Karl’s left hand was on the steering wheel and the other one was interlocked with yours. A song was playing as you sang along and enjoyed the little moment.

35. Grabbing the other’s hand to pull them back to them (Nihachu x gn!reader)

The alarm clock beeped loudly, waking the both of you up. “A few more minutes...” you whined, but Niki was already starting to stand up. You caught her hand and lightly pulled her towards you. “Nooo a few more minutes but only with you,” you said as she laughed.

36. Unconsciously searching out each other’s hand while sleeping (GeorgeNotFound x gn!reader)

Your hand unconsciously searched for George’s, as you laid half asleep. Once you did, you interlocked your fingers and drifted off to a peaceful sleep.

37. Not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

You sat on the couch in your friend’s house as the party became louder and louder every minute. Wilbur was next to you and you mindlessly interlocked your fingers. “I didn’t know you two were together.” one of your friends said, passing by. Your cheeks heated up as you slightly let go of his hand, but not completely.

38. Swinging hands back and forth, skipping like children (Quackity x gn!reader)

You and Alex swung your interlocked hands as you skipped around. In the daylight, when the streets were crowded this was not enjoyable; but at night, hanging out in a park while no one was there to throw you weird glances, it was perfect.

39. Holding hands in a museum to pull them to the next exhibition (Dream x gn!reader)

“Oh look! There’s that famous exhibition!” Dream exclaimed as he tugged on your hand. You followed him, curious about what you were going to see.

40. Letting go when there is an obstacle in their way and immediately grabbing each other’s hand again when they pass it (cc!Technoblade x gn!reader)

“Be careful, there’s a tree.” you let go of his hand for a second and as soon as you passed the tree, you softly took his hand in yours, continuing your walk in the forest.

41. Loosely holding onto each other’s hand (Nihachu x gn!reader)

You and Niki walked around the city, while she excitedly pointed out some important locations. You were loosely holding her hand, fascinated by everything around you.

42. Dragging the other with them, holding their hand (Karl Jacobs x gn!reader)

“Come on baby, you have to go to sleep, you’re overworking yourself.” Karl tried to convince you. You weakly asked for a few more minutes, but Karl took you by the hand and dragged you to bed. You were thankful because if not for him you’d be asleep on your desk in a few minutes.

43. Raising the other’s hand to their lips to kiss it softly (Wilbur Soot x gn!reader)

Your first date had been awesome. Wilbur was a true gentleman. As he opened the door for you to get out of the car, your eyes met. “Thank you for today Wilbur. I loved our date.” You smiled at him and he did so too, gently lifting your hand and pressing a quick kiss on it. “So... maybe you’re up for a second date sometime?” You nodded, not missing his rose-tinted cheeks.

44. Holding hands while jumping down from somewhere together (Dream x gn!reader) TW || cliff diving

"Ready?" Dream asked, giving your hand a subtle squeeze, and after you nodded, you jumped down into the beautiful blue waters, not letting go of Dream's hand.

45. Comparing hand sizes, then linking fingers together (SapNap x gn!reader)

Sapnap hoped that you wouldn't take this as an excuse to hold your hand, but he had to give it a shot. "y/n, let's compare hand sizes." you pressed your palms together, and before you knew it, Sap had linked your fingers together. Not that you minded, though.

-

taglist: @yasaiiissleeping

masterlist

[loudlyunladylike]

you got any c!niki songs?

This ask is hella old so my apologies, but hi hi hello!!! ee!! So ok I'm actually in the process of making a lil playlist rn (very small at the moment because I can't remember all of them oops so I'm taking suggestions 👉👈) so I thought I would just go through my thoughts on each of those at the mo!

1. "Burning House" by Cam

I made a post featuring this one! Gives me Pogtopia Niki and Will vibes, they are both stuck in these separate places filled with pain and hurt but Wilbur can't get Niki out of Manberg because it wouldn't be safe and Niki can't get Wilbur out of Pogtopia as his mental health keeps getting worse and worse ("I had a dream about a burning house, you were stuck inside I couldn't get you out") but alas throughout the whole time they still cared about eachother, they still tried, Wilbur shows up at her birthday party and saves her at the festival, Niki stands alone against the rest of Manberg to stand up for not just herself but also Wilbur and Tommy ("I'll stay here with you until this dream is gone") . To me this song also feels like looking back in hindsight maybe more from the perspective of her alone in her secret city, as her own mental health declines and she locks herself away due to her night terrors ("I've been sleepwalking too close to the fire but it's the only place that I can hold you tight") especially with all the parallels that can be drawn between Niki and Wilbur's declining mental health at that point ("I lay beside you and pulled you close and the two of us went up in smoke")

2. "Pretty Little Things" by The Crane Wives

Ok so I first heard this song in this Niki animatic so I can direct you right over there because god it is good I actually get chills watching it. So I think they demonstrate it quite well in that but to give you a vague idea, it gives me the vibes of Niki around doomsday era; she's still sad about missing Wilbur ("Past loves linger like phantom limbs") but she's also angry and she is done. There's also a depiction of the green festival where Niki's anger at Will starts projecting on to Tommy and she feels like she simply can't trust him and stay at his side ("But trust is now something I make people earn, so I'm not inclined to just give it away to a pair of blue eyes with some nice things to say"). I am also a massive fan of my Niki and hope symbolism so it makes it all just incredibly heartbreaking; she had so much hope and love in L'manberg and Will but alas it seems to have wilted away ("I don't believe the pretty little things that you say, I've heard a lot of little pretty things. Don't buy me flowers it pains me to watch pretty little things wilt away, pretty little things wilt away")

3. "A Burning Hill" by Mitski

See I thought of this as Niki song anyways but someone also made this cool animatic that Niki even commented on so check that out if you like! But yeah this is like that sad atmosphere after doomsday I think, like again we've got that incredibly sad loss of hope from such a hope-filled character ("I think I'm finally worn") along with her reminiscences of Wilbur ("For you have a way of promising things") which could honestly sound angry in another context but here just sounds sad. And then of course where would we be without the fire imagery ("I am the fire and I am the forest and I am the witness watching it") relating to both her repeated actual scenes in relation to fire but also her growing inner fire because it's always been there whether it be hopeful bright sparks or an angry forest fire, the more destruction and "fire" she sees around her the more her inner fire grows. Perfect examples of this being the parallels between the burning of the flag and the burning of the L'mantree; both instances of destruction being all around, the first time she watches her pillar of hope go up in flames, the second time she is the fire itself lighting it but both times she wishes Wilbur was there ("I stand in a valley watching it and you are not there at all"). The song also ends off on a bit of a hopeful but also sad note ("And I'll love the littler things, I'll love some littler things") doomsday is over, L'manberg is gone and she has cut off connections to most of her friends, maybe this a a chance to start anew and love some new things but there is still a sense that maybe she should just love some littler things, maybe she hoped to big last time, loved to big last time and that's heartbreaking.

4. "Graceland Too" by Phoebe Bridgers

This was a recommendation from the lovely @/foxesdontscareme and it is a truly beautiful song, and great for a healing arc Niki! Niki gives up on the nuke Tommy plot and takes Techno up on his syndicate offer ("No longer a danger to herself or others, she made up her mind and laced up her shoes") and thus she begins the process of trying to pull herself out of her own downward spiral before it's too late. She changes her secret city once again, replacing the lava and mismatched bricks with quartz walls and gardens and a bakery that she invites her friends to ("Yelled down the hall but nobody answered so she walked outside without an excuse"). She is still lost without L'manberg and it's community ("Doesn't know what she wants or what she's gonna do, a rebel without a clue") but it is now being approached with a more hopeful tone, she doesn't fully know exactly what she's going to do but she's hopeful about it this time. Recently Niki's mental health hasn't been the best but honestly the goal in my mind is that she one day reaches a more peaceful, healthier point and this will all be the perfect vibe ("Said she knows she lived through it to get to this moment") <33 pls

5. "Learning To Hate You As A Self Defense Mechanism" by Flatsound

Ok sadness again. This is the Niki song that cc!Niki herself tied to c!Niki when she found out Wilbur was alive, I also made a post about this one pfft! But this song is exactly what it says it is so in this case an exploration into Niki's unhealthy mechanisms on "coping" with Wilbur's return. After the nuke plot failed Niki realised that none of what she was blaming Tommy for was really his fault; underneath all the projection she was still upset and annoyed at Wilbur. But Niki and Wilbur were best friends, she obviously loved and cared for him and she still does but in an attempt to preserve her new safe space and the distance she has tried to put between herself and L'manberg she tries to remind herself or simply just tell herself that he hurt her and that she must hate him for that ("So I'll hold on to this feeling, I'll hold on to this hate, for as long as I need for it to help me"). Niki tells herself that Wilbur must have never cared about her or anyone, that she must have just been stupid for believing him ("Was it my fault because I easily confused you for someone who would hold my hand") because it's easier to cut yourself off from someone if you believe nothing was really there in the first place, if the diamonds meant nothing and if she lies to herself that he never checked up or visited her in Manberg ("you would leave when I got sick"). However, underneath it all, no matter how much she lies to herself she cares, and she wishes she could see him and talk to him ("You never called me on my birthday, I want to call you on your birthday")

[lucemferto]

Niki Nihachu & Barbara Kean

Gonna drop something controversial real quick.

Niki Nihachu is the most tragic character on the Dream SMP – and I don’t mean in the sense of her having a tragic story (though she is up there), but in the sense that she is tragically mishandled.

I want to start out by saying that this essay is by no means an attack on the content creator Niki Nihachu or her abilities as a performer. She is frequently one of the strongest actors on the SMP and I have no idea how much of her character writing was within her power. How much of it was improv, how much pre-planned, how much something she genuinely wanted to do and how much stuff she just stumbled into or – in the worst-case scenario – was forced upon her. I don’t know.

The Dream SMP is not very transparent when it comes to their creative process. As such I can only judge it as a discerning viewer and English major dropout, who retained some half-remembered stuff about narratology.

So, a few weeks ago, I tumbled on here that Niki’s character journey reminded me a lot of the character Barbara Kean from the hit TV-show Gotham. Then I got an ask asking me to elaborate. This is the elaboration.

Barbara Kean

So, a quick crash course for people who haven’t seen Gotham (the greatest comic book show on Television, seriously, what are you doing with your life?!): Barbara Kean was a major female character throughout all five seasons of Gotham – and not once during those five seasons did the writers ever figure out what they wanted to do with her.

Every 10-12 episodes or so, Barbara’s role shifted completely. She started out as cop-protagonist Jim Gordon’s girlfriend at home and moral compass, then became part of a bisexual love triangle, then a hard-drinking jealous party girl with a backstory as repressed, lonely rich kid, before being kidnapped by a serial killer and ultimately making her perfect metamorphosis into the psychotic ex-girlfriend trope.

And that was Season 1.

Since then, she became the pseudo-Harley Quinn to the pseudo-Joker, a whip-wielding dominatrix, the obligatory female member in a supervillain squad, some sort of information broker, a mafia kingpin, the leader of a girl-power posse and – my favourite – the reincarnated wife of an ancient immortal who also controls all of Gotham and transferred that control over to her before that plot-point was dropped harder than a half-dead Oswald Cobblepot of the Gotham piers.

Also, she’s Batgirl’s mom.

In short, it’s a mess – but that’s what makes Gotham kinda fun.

Character Cohesion

Now, obviously, Niki’s character journey has not been quite as extreme. But it falls into the same traps, I find. Namely, that there’s just a distinct lack of character cohesion or character continuity.

Now, character cohesion or character continuity doesn’t mean that the arcs these characters undertake can’t be explained in a logical way. Barbara’s character journey is logical in the sense that you can explain it all with in-universe logic – but it’s not logical from a narratological sense now, is it?

Character Cohesion basically means that a character’s journey is reflected in their personal conflict – their Want vs. Need. Their arc is the natural continuation of what was set-up in previous sequences. Everything falls into a whole with Set-up, Confrontation, Resolution – we set up the character’s Want, their Want and Need are conflicting, the Want vs. Need is resolved. Ideally this coincides with the plot beats of the large conflict surrounding the cast.

When you look at Barbara in Season 1 of Gotham, you’re not thinking “This one right here – she’s the reincarnated wife of Ra’s Al Ghul”. Because why would you? There was no set-up; it’s not part of what her character was about in this moment – or any moment before that concept was introduced. It’s not needed for her character conflict (or any thematic conflicts for that matter).

It’s quite transparently just something that is affixed to her so that she has something until the writers come up with the next at which that first thing will dropped, underdeveloped.

Niki in Season 1

Niki follows the same route, unfortunately. She’s set-up as the resistance in L’Manburg, allies herself with Eret and HBomb until – oops – it doesn’t end mattering, because that entire side of the “plot” is completely underdeveloped. Just be a damsel until Wilbur can swoop in and save you, Niki.

Okay, but now she has a big moment with Tommy and Tubbo just after the pit-scene. “We’ll figure something out”, she says. “We need L’Manburg back”. This is all before the backdrop of Wilbur completely giving in to his role as a villain and Techno’s apparent “betrayal”.

So, now, surely, Niki is gonna affect change in Pogtopia and will have some influence on either Tommy or Wilbur, the two people she’s closest to. What’s this? Her biggest contribution is holding a birthday party where Quackity convinces Wilbur to hold off on his TNT-plan? And after that … she’s just gonna be part of the Pogtopia-masses?

Now, I like Wilbur’s writing and Season 1 generally, but when it comes to Niki (and Eret) something went terribly wrong. Both of them provided many a set-up – none of which were taken advantage of, unfortunately.

And, just to be clear, I’m not putting the blame on Niki here (or at least not most of it). Season 1 was pretty firmly in Wilbur’s hand … and Season 2 was a train wreck.

Niki in Season 2

Niki is – for the most part of Season 2 – a nothing character. She has no real conflict, no character beats, no arc. This is because through some unfortunate writing decisions, Season 2 is pretty squarely focused on a specific set of characters – and even fewer of those characters are granted a fully explored, completed character arc.

It all culminates in her Doomsday villain arc – a moment that can be logically explained from both an in-character perspective and a meta-perspective, but unfortunately, it’s not justified from a technical writing point of view.

Niki burning down the L’Mantree is her “Ra’s Al Ghul’s reincarnated wife”-moment. It’s a big statement that put her character on the map for a large part of the audience again. It was a striking visual. It could not be ignored.

Most of that was because it was a stark departure from her characterization in Season 1. Now, such a departure doesn’t necessarily have to be bad. The problem comes in when

a.) The full potential of the character in their previous narrative role had not yet been fully or even partly exhausted

b.) It cuts into an on-going character arc and drastically changes its course

c.) It’s not foreshadowed or developed properly.

And most of those are true for Niki’s character. She was not necessarily underdeveloped but underexplored in Season 1 and had no consistent storyline going on in Season 2. She was a witness to Tommy’s trial, but that was never worked into an on-going storyline for her. No matter how much we retroactively pretend like this turn to villainy, this breakdown, was brewing deep inside of her – there was no foreshadowing.

The reason, why I said it’s understandable from a meta-perspective, is that the content creator Niki Nihachu had a self-admittedly hard time getting her foot in in Season 2 – because Season 2, for as much love as I will heap upon Tommy’s and Dream’s storyline, was a pretty messy.

So, the villain arc was not well foreshadowed and Niki’s turn was developed, but what happened after she was in it?

Niki in Season 3

Well, unfortunately that problem of an inconsistent storyline never really went away for her. In the beginning of Season 3, she hatched her wagons with Jack Manifold, which was a pretty big tonal shift – from darkly tragic to cartoonish villainy.

But as Jack kept developing his character in that lane and following up on big plot development with corresponding character moments, Niki again just … vanished. She then changed gears again, joining the Syndicate – a great idea if only the Syndicate actually streamed together and developed a storyline and group cohesion.

As it stands right now, Niki’s character exists in the negative space of the fandom imaginations. We are given some scraps and good character moments – her sleeping in a jail cell, “I started baking again”, her secret city – but those moments never coalesce into a full-fledged storyline.

Her character’s journey is still as fragmented and underexplored as it ever was. I really hope that – with Wilbur’s revival and the new character conflict that seems to arise from that for her – she manages to finally get the foot in and get the storyline and dynamic arc she deserves.

[miaclemeverett]

sorry for discourse(tm) you can ignore this if you want but like- people genuinely seem to think " i havent even told you yet " ( paraphrased ) = " i will never tell you ever i am going to hack your account and do your lore for you " but like. if the lore is going to happen then phil will...have to know and confirm that hes okay with it ( and mumza probably ). plus the cat is notoriously bad at messaging people /lh he probably just forgot to mention the lore ideas lmao -💜

I think it's important to note the few times we have heard about Wilbur 'hiding' information from others involved in the lore. Let me explain:

1) The most notable moment was Wilbur not telling Tommy about the results of the election. This was a crucial moment and he wanted Tommy's reaction to be genuine to the audience. But note that he DID tell Schlatt and Tubbo because of how important their roles would be, and Wilbur knows Tommy is more than capable of improvising

2) Niki's birthday party was pretty much entirely improvised. Wilbur chose to try and blow up Manburg at the end of the party to involve Karl in the lore like Karl had wanted (Karl was too busy to attend stuff like the Manburg Festival where he was supposed to have a larger role) and also to have enough people hear him tell Quackity about the next step: trying to convince Schlatt to cede over power. This was to move the plot along after a few weeks of stagnancy and to give Quackity a goal by the end of the week.

[peppersteakss]

so... you wanna know the dream smp lore as of dec 19th, 2020

you have come to the correct place

the dream smp in a nutshell (somewhat)

ok so despite the server itself starting in april, the lore doesn’t start until wilbur joined in like june. the basics are that wilbur tommy and tubbo started a drug business and that didn’t sit well with dream sapnap or george bc it was their server, so tommy tubbo and wilbur (and eret came in at some point) decided to separate their land on the server and call it l’manberg. they built a wall, they had their own national anthem. this again upset the dream team. eret then gets revealed as a traitor and causes everyone in l’manberg to lose their first lives. (there’s a 3 live rule for almost every character in the smp, the only exception being philza - he only has 1) eret did this in order to become kind of the server. then dream bombed l’manberg after wilbur tried to negotiate with him. at that point, independence for l’manberg was no longer looking like an options

then came an agreement between tommy and dream, they’d duel for l’manbergs independence, but if dream won he’d take one of tommy’s music discs (why the discs are so important? i literally could not tell you). dream won, taking tommy’s second life. and somewhere in there fundy enters the server as part of l’manberg, and starts all the weird family dynamic stuff

here’s a little tangent on family dynamics in the smp:

philza is the father of techno and wilbur (twins), and it’s confirmed their mother is a samsung smart fridge. he also fathers tommy, who’s mother is unknown, and tubbo, who’s adopted - his bio parents unknown, but there’s a really popular theory going around that schlatt is his bio dad

wilbur is the father of fundy, and fundys mother is apparently a fish - sally the salmon. it’s complicated, at some point the idea of sally being a shapeshifter was brought up but never confirmed

back to the lore, tommy came back on his last life and then negotiated with dream for the independence of l’manberg and in exchange he would give dream both of his discs (again, i have no clue why they’re so important to him but they play a huge part in his character) so with that, the war between l’manberg and the dream team was over. l’manberg wrote a decree of independence, officially exiled eret, then started a government - tommy was assigned treasury of the state and later the vice president, tubbo was the secretary of state, and fundy was just wilbur little champion. wilbur took the title as president

jack manifold then joined the server and l’manberg, dream begged him to join the dream team but he stayed with l’manberg. then tommy, jack, and tubbo decided to cause chaos and get revenge against dream for the destruction of l’manberg and for tommy to get his discs

there were a few minor events in between the war and the election that i don’t really deem that important, the most notable thing is that quackity joined the server. but if you’d like to read about the events - they’re on the wiki! i’d also recommend keeping up with the wiki because the plot moves very fast, and the wiki is a good source that always keeps track of everything that happens and just the members individually! there’s also a channel on youtube that uploads the vods of every member but only their smp streams, it’s just called dream smp members vods (if you’re at all interested in watching this rather than reading it)

we now get into the election. a lot of people weren’t really happy with wilbur as president and they weren’t taking him seriously, so wilbur tried to fix this by holding an election that originally he thought only he could win. quackity then formed his own party to run against wilbur, thus leading to SWAG2020 (quackity and george) vs POG2020 (wilbur and tommy). later joining the election would be Coconut2020 (fundy and niki nihachu) as well as Schlatt2020 (it was just schlatt). this was a real poll left up to the viewers, and Schlatt2020 ended up winning as for some reason his results were supposed to be combined with SWAG2020s results - together they had 46%, just 1% above POG2020 - so Schlatt was now president of l’manberg. (despite only joining the server once the campaigns had started and almost ended). schlatts first decree was to exile wilbur and tommy from l’manberg - he then kept tubbo as secretary of state and demanded he hunt tommy and wilbur. it’s also worth noting that he ordered the walls of l’manberg to be destroyed. this ends the l’manberg independence arc as a whole (yes all of that was one single arc) as l’manberg was renamed manberg by schlatt. (one last thing worth noting is that wilbur lost a life during the election, so he only has 1 life left)

this then starts the manberg rebellion arc. this is actually the longest arc at the moment as it lasted for almost 2 months(sep 22nd-nov 16th), but the next arc is still ongoing so that could change. also it’s now important to note that important events always happened on the 16th, so if you plan on ever watching streams live, you should always try to catch any that happen on the 16th.

wilbur and tommy created yet another independent part of the smp called pogtopia. other members of pogtopia were technoblade (who had just joined the server) acting as a mercenary, and tubbo, the pogtopia spy. this then caused another split of the server, and dream became part of pogtopia but only in secret. there were also third parties, that being manifold land and the badlands.

a festival in manberg was announced, and tubbo was supposed to give a speech and organize the event. this then caused wilbur to question his morality, and this sparked the idea that wilbur should blow up manberg for good, tommy didn’t agree with this, and dream sided with wilbur simply because he wanted schlatt gone. tommy and tubbo then decided they could only trust each other (THATS IMPORTANT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT)

the festival happened on oct 16th, where tubbo was outed as the l’manberg spy, techno was then ordered to kill tubbo (which he did, causing tubbo to lose a life and bring him down to one life) but he then basically caused a massacre in manberg. niki then joined pogtopia in hopes to save manberg with tommy and tubbo while wilbur and techno planned to destroy it. wilbur originally had plans to blow up manberg at the festival, but was unsuccessful as he lost the button he was supposed to use in order to do so

quackity was removed from his spot as vice president, then joining pogtopia. then an ultimatum was established within pogtopia - deal with schlatt, or wilbur blows everything up. that did not stop wilbur from attempting to blow up manberg yet again at nikis birthday party but was stopped by quackity, karl jacobs, and niki. the ultimatum was then given a deadline, november 6th.

quackity tried to meet with schlatt, who had tried to blow manberg up yet again only for schlatt to reveal that he moved the tnt wilbur put in manberg to pogtopia. fundy then revealed he’d been spying for pogtopia in secret - and wilbur began to realize that under schlatts leadership, NO ONE was on manbergs side. except dream who then revealed he actually was going to protect manberg for some reason idk dreams motivation and just dream in general is really confusing, but regardless he negotiated war with pogtopia, and the decided date was nov 16th

schlatt ended up dying of a heart attack in front of everyone in pogtopia, leaving the presidency to tommy, who then handed it to wilbur, who then handed it to tubbo. wilbur took this as his chance to blow up l’manberg, as in his eyes it would never be the same. philza then joined the server and tried to stop him, but he was unsuccessful. wilbur then convinced phil - his own father in canon - to kill him, and he did, causing him to die in all actuality this time as that was his last life.

techno then caused another massacre right after wilbur literally blew up l’manberg because he was angry that l’manberg was just replacing one dictator with another, and set two withers. he swore that he would destroy any government that rose in the dream smp. (i actually recommend watching wilburs video on this event, it’s his most recent dream smp video and probably his final as his character is dead now. techno also tells the story of theseus and he explains it much better than i can, and the role of theseus does play in later in the lore)(it’s also just a fucking cinematic masterpiece but maybe that’s just me)

that ends the manberg rebellion arc, and so starts the l’manberg retribution arc (which is still ongoing) and although the last arc currently stands as the longest arc, there’s much more lore in this arc at the moment. like i’ve said, the lore just moves very fast

the remaining citizens of l’manberg start to rebuild with the help of ghostbur, which is just as he sounds - the ghost of wilbur. he only remembers happy memories from his life and generally just likes to follow people around a lot, he’s not on anyone’s specific side. also somewhere during all of this, eret decided to adopt fundy, so eret is now in this complicated family dynamic mix

quackity was angry with technos actions and started ‘the butcher army’ so he could take techno down, despite tubbos wishes to not start any more wars and to keep l’manberg peaceful, and also the factor of technoblade now having nothing.

dream along with captain puffy started defacing and destroying the sever as a whole and placed all of the blame on tommy. most notably he targeted skeppy and badboyhalo in the badlands (who for some reason have one of tommy’s discs). dream left a fake note about the disc, which is what let to the belief that tommy actually did commit these crimes.

on nov 19th, a funeral was held for schlatt, to which the crowd who attended made fun of him and celebrated his death, and trying to cause trouble (basically quackity made a piss portrait of schlatt and ate his heart) the rest also took pieces of schlatts body. he was put to rest in the side of a mountain outside of l’manberg

badboyhalo actually encountered the grieving of him and skeppys houses done bg dream, promising to burn tommy’s discs. everyone else was finding out about “tommy” greeting bad, meanwhile quackity was replacing schlatts remains with fucking glass, trying to resurrect him - he then gave this task to awesamedude, but whether or not he’s going to do it is still up in the air

ranboo then joined the server and became close with tommy, and they both george’s george’s house. this caused dream to build and obsidian wall around l’manberg, and then everyone found out tommy grief led george (which is not a good look for the vice president (tommy is the vice president btw)) and this is when the idea of exiling tommy came up. tommy was then brought to court simply because dreamed wished to see tommy get exiled for things that he didn’t even do

a lot of stuff happened but i’m really trying my best to keep this brief, again you can read the wiki if you’d like more detail! it’s a great source of information! but in the end the decision to exile tommy was left to a twitter poll, it was close but the winning option was to exile tommy

before tommy got exiled, there was the introduction of mexican l’manberg also known as el rapids. in el rapids, a lot of conflict happened with dream, and at this point it really seems that no one is really on dramas side (which like rightfully so dsmp!dream is fucking horrible)

still before he was exiled, tommy brought up the idea of waging war on dream because it seemed that really everyone in l’manberg was against him. there was even the idea of getting people outside of l’manberg involved (like techno, sapnap, bad, etc). tubbo then had dream escort tommy out of l’manberg to his exile. he’d just betrayed his best friend, the person who he agreed was the only one he could trust, which confused a lot of people because it was almost a last moment decision - but apparently it was the only logical thing to do (bs imo) but then tubbo agreed to work with quackity in killing technoblade

dream stayed with tommy often while in exile, and they stayed together for about 11 days with occasional visits from ghostbur. dream was very violent towards tommy during all of this, threatening to kill him if he didn’t do as he said, blowing up an old house tommy and tubbo built, and saying that he could /never/ go back to l’manberg. tommy actually began hiding important items from dream so that he wouldn’t destroy them, as that was a common thing as well - he’d make tommy drop all of his items to dispose of them for good. there was one item he’d never drop, though, and that was a gift from ghostbur - it was a compass that pointed to the whitehouse in l’manberg called ‘your tubbo.’ similarly, tubbo also has a compass called ‘your tommy’ that pointed to logstedshire (the place where exiled tommy and dream would stay)(‘your tommy’ was destroyed, most likely by dream, and even though tubbo got a second one - tommy doesn’t stay in logstedshire for long)

dream unfortunately found out about this as well, and the. disposing of all of his hidden items. and after 11 days of experiencing all of this with dream, tommy left to find somewhere much safer, ultimately deciding to make a burrow under technoblade and philzas house, as no one in the smp except them had known its location.

he thought he could stay hidden but techno found him literally the next day after being hunted by the butcher army that quackity had built, and being ordered for execution in l’manberg only to be saved by a totem of undying and escaping l’manberg through the sewers with the help of dream. (it’s worth noting that philza was also captured, is now on house arrest, AND was almost forced to watch another one of his sons die right in front of him) and guess when all of that happened???? DEC 16th. also everyone in l’manberg now thinks tommy is dead and they’re planning a funeral for him because they saw some sort of explosion debris that somehow links to tommy(i think it was blown up logstedshire)

techno and tommy then formed an alliance in order to get back technos stolen items (the butchers from l’manberg took everything) as well as rescue phil, and to get tommy’s disc back. i’m doing this, techno revealed a secret room that no one but himself knew about prior, revealing to tommy a room full of wither skulls and a full set of netherite armor, uttering the fucking ICONIC line ‘welcome home, theseus’ and therefore referencing the last big event, showing that tommy has made progress since then (at least in the eyes of technoblade)

so tommy stays with techno with more visits from ghostbur, and visits from dream - although tommy has hidden during both of his visits with invis potions. techno is set on protecting tommy now, and tommy is still struggling with trying to separate himself from dream. the first time dream visits it’s with techno, and techno convinces him that tommy isn’t at his house. dream also points out that techno owes him a favor bc he saved him in l’manberg. the second visit is when ghostbur was there, and ghostbur slips up quite a lot when interacting with dream. dream reveals he knows tommy isn’t dead and that he’s with techno somehow, and i think that’s just about it

one last thing worth noting is that this story is almost always looking at the fans for inspiration and has included a lot of fan theories into the canon (techno and wilbur being twins, and most notably the ‘welcome home, theseus’ line) so i’d highly recommend in participating in fan stuff as much as you can! there’s also just a lot of creative people in the fandom if you stay out of the weird side lol. but with that, i think that’s about all of the lore as of now

(i wrote all of this from midnight to 3 am so i am so sorry if i forgot things and i’m sorry about spelling mistakes)

[stuck-in1]

These drunk confessions - Part 1

Pairing: Park Jongseong (Jay) x OC (Im Haeyoon) Genre: Fluff | A little angst | College AU | Friends to enemies to lovers TW: cursing | mentions of alcohol and getting wasted | *please let me know if there are any I should add*

These drunk confessions | Part 2

⊱ ━━━━━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊰

Part 1: OC’s (Haeyoon) POV

“So there’s this party…” my best friend of almost two decades started as we were having lunch at the university cafeteria.

“No, Rin. I’ll be busy.” I deadpanned as I finished my chocolate pudding, no wanting to listen to what she has to say.

“I haven’t even said anything yet! Sunghoon will be there though.” She added hopefully. Ah, the ex-love of my life as everyone knows, who happened to reject me but is still nice about it. That was laughable really, I’m over it.

“I’m over him, love. You know that,” I gave her a disapproving look. It didn’t hurt my pride as  much though, because it was a cover up, and probably because he didn’t gloat about it, we’re still good friends. After that drunk confession which was supposedly for another person (his best friend?), he rejected me and said he never saw me that way, which I’m thankful for as it would get pretty complicated if he didn’t. “And besides, if Sunghoon is this there, so is his best friend, Park Jongseong.”

“God! I wasn't implying anything!” she added defensively. “Why are you so irked with his presence anyway? It’s not like you have a past with Park Jongseong…” Oh God, we DID have a past, it’s just that nobody knew!

“Don’t act like I’m not aware of things, I know the party will be this Friday to celebrate Jake’s birthday, Jake and I are not even close. I don’t just crash anyone’s party, you know.”

“Whose party are we crashing?” Heeseung interrupted the discussion, sitting beside Aerin, as she became flustered while attempting to hide a smile.

“You’re close by association, he’s close with Sunghoon and Heeseung!” she interjected, like it was the brightest idea there.

“Close with whom, babe?” Heeseung shot Aerin a confused glance.

“You’re going too, right Hee? Jake’s party this weekend.”

“Oh stop it with your flirting. You two are so pathetic!” I rolled my eye at them, trying so hard to change the topic but ended up failing.

 “Come on Yoon, we won’t even let you drive, you can drink all you want.” She insisted, with Heeseung backing her up.

“And Jake wants you there, he likes you, you know.” Heeseung said, which made my best friend giggle like crazy. “You were always at the parties we hosted, what happened?.”

Nah, Jake doesn’t like me like that, I don't think so. He is nice, and can even be considered as hot, but he’s a fuck boy. He has girls left and right, and I don’t want to be one of those girls who’s at his beck and call, nope that isn’t me.

“I’ll think about it.” I finally said after a minute of silence God, just drop the subject please! It’s not like I don’t want to, but I don’t feel like seeing Park Jongseong on a setting other than our campus.

I stood up and excused myself from the two, and made my way to a nearby study space so I can finish my work in peace, but who am I kidding? My mind wandered off to Jongseong, again. The almighty Park Jongseong—Jay for most people. Our friend group is well known within our uni and other campuses as well, because of these guys; Heeseung, Sunghoon, Jake, Sunoo, Jungwon, Niki and of course, Jay—who’s also a fuckboy just like Jake. I don’t want to associate myself with him again, not in this lifetime!

Jongseong and I were friends with benefits, and nobody knew about this, not even Aerin. He was the one I lost my virginity to, and vice versa—well that’s what he told me.

All that started summer after high school, when he was introduced by a classmate, which ended at the start of junior year in college, just a few months back. We had a deal that if one of us start to like someone else, we’d tell the other. The relationship was supposedly exclusive, we can date but we can’t fuck other people, if we did, we had to stop whatever the set up was.

Ironic enough, we also became a part of the same friend group, freshman year. We were aloof in front of our friends but totally it’s different story when we’re alone, it is also unbelievable how we kept the act for more than two years.

At the parties the guys have hosted, it was the same story. Our younger friends would be there, but they’re not allowed to drink, it was either me or Jongseong that picked them up, then Sunghoon being the slightly responsible one will drive them home before their curfew, then will only start drinking once the kids are home. Jongseong and I will then disappear when everyone’s drunk or busy and will spend the night either on his or my place. And there were also weekdays, when he spent most nights at my place, without our friends knowing.

Until the dreadful thing happened, I fell in love with him—sophomore year, second semester. It was also one of the unwritten rules, to not fall for the other. Of course, I didn’t have the guts to tell him nor to end the relationship, I was just there for him, nothing changed. Besides, he did not show me any kind of affection when we were outside of our confines, I just knew it was one sided.

Then came Jake, who was a transfer student at the first semester of junior year and he hit it off with our clique, so naturally the guys found another reason to host a party, to welcome him that is. It was the same old routine, except Jungwon, Niki and Sunoo did not need to go home that night, they will be crashing at Heeseung’s, who hosted the party.

Jongseong on the other hand told me that he wouldn’t be able to go home with me that night, which was a first, he said he needed to do something important. I didn’t mind, and who am I to demand to know what he was up to, we were not in a relationship.

That’s when I saw him with another girl in the balcony, while I was seated on one of the pool chaise, a little tipsy but had a good view of them while I was hidden from their sight. He allowed her to lunge forward and kiss him, he did not even resist. Realization did hit me that time that I was nothing to Jongseong, I made an excuse to my friends that I will be going home early as I’m not feeling well, I did not even bother saying good bye to him.

The succeeding days, I talked to him less. I didn’t make myself as available so I made up excuses to not see him, I was scared that he’d tell me that he would end things, I though that it'd feel better if it was the other way around, so I planned to end it with him. I also avoided our friends that same week and was absent to the classes I shared with each one of one of them. They kept messaging me too, especially Aerin and Jongseong, asking my whereabouts, and made an excuse that I’ve been spending time with mom.

A few days after, that's when I dropped the bomb--I messaged him and said that we should stop whatever’s between us as there’s already someone I like. He did not stop calling until I had to switch off my phone, I then went home to my parents and made myself MIA. Mom thought it was pressure from school, so she let me off the hook.

After two weeks of hiding, I finally went back. I talked to my professors and they gave me extra work for credits. Another excuse to not see them, I did tell Aerin that something was up but did not tell her in detail, I was thankful that she did not pry and she understood me. Jongseong stopped bothering me altogether, I was somewhat relieved but I did miss him, so much if I may add.

That weekend, I made an appearance on the party hosted by Sunghoon when I realised how selfish I was and apologised to them for being MIA. It wasn’t a surprise that Jay had his arms around someone, I didn’t even look at him, I could feel his ireful stares which I tried so hard to ignore.

I did not leave Sunghoon’s side that night, thankfully he did not mind, not one bit, and when everyone mellowed down, that’s when Jongseong picked a fight with me that progressed into an argument that’s loud enough for our friends and bystanders to hear. He accused me of liking Sunghoon, and that did it for me. I deliberately told him that I indeed liked Sunghoon because he doesn’t sleep around. It was too late when what I've said sinked in, the others broke the fight and Sunghoon drove me home, and was nice enough to comfort me and stay with me until the morning—this was when he rejected me. I didn't bother explaining to him what really happened, it was left at that.

That was the last time I’ve ever spoken to Park Jongseong, or at least the last civilized one. He did, however, drunk text me a few times, saying that Sunghoon doesn’t like me and things with similar context, he was fucking petty and I ignored him, and ended up blocking his number.

“Hey, you’re too deep in thought.” Sunoo nudged me, I did not realise that he’s here with Jungwon, Sunghoon and the manwhore himself, Park Jongseong.

“I’m just tired. Exams are coming up.”

The guys have joined me at the then empty table, Jongseong was hesitant but still sat with the others.

“So I hear you’re coming this Friday.” Sunghoon asked, after the incident, it took about three months before I started hanging out with the guys.

“If Aerin and Heeseung told you, then they’re lying. I told them I’d think about it. That's different.”

“Come one, you don’t have to worry about driving, I’ll pick you up and even drive you home.” Sunghoon insisted.

“Yess! Please, please!” Sunoo begged, “you haven’t joined us in a long time.”

“Eight months is not a long time, love. Plus I have been busy.” I told them, Jungwon frowned, and I know he doesn’t believe me.

“Yeah, busy with what? Dating after Sunghoon rejected you?” Jongseong smirked and I am so tempted to wipe that fucking smirk off of his face.

“Am I even talking to you, Jay?” I said with a with a straight face. “Mind your own business, why not continue fucking everyone else in this school instead of putting your nose into someone else’s life? It got too boring for you?”

“At least they’re all lined up for me, unlike for some people I know.” He continued to pester me, “it’s not my fault that no one wants to fuck you.”

“Are you sure about that?” I was fuming but I didn’t want to lose my composure, “maybe you can ask Jake.” Sunghoon held me by my elbow, trying to prevent me from saying anything more.

“Yeah, Jake would fuck you alright, but that’s it. As if he’d come looking for you again after one night, don’t think so highly of yourself.”

“Jay, stop-“ Jungwon tried to control him, too late though, my anger got the best of me and I slapped Jongseong, hard.

“Okay, we gotta go!” Sunoo forced me out of the building, Sunghoon followed carrying my stuff which he shoved in my backpack.

“That fucking asshole!”

“Im Haeyoon! What the fuck is wrong with you?” Sunoo hit the back of my head lightly as soon as we were out away from the building entrance.

“Didn’t you hear what he just said? He insulted me, Sun!!” I almost yelled, “that fucking manwhore insulted me!”

“Why do guys walk so fast?” Sunghoon suddenly appeared while catching his breath, “what was that about Im Haeyoon?”

“Stop calling me with my legal name assholes!” they took me to the nearby park, and I sat on one of the benches, “he’s getting on my nerves, I don’t even know what his problem is.”

“Bad break up, perhaps?” Sunoo joked, Sunghoon guffawed, my eyes widen, “You’re too guilty!”

“We know, Yoon. Jay told us some bits, when he was drunk, we’ve been meaning to ask you as well.”

“What do you know? Who else knows about this?”

“Well, since Jay is a bad drunk,” Sunghoon admitted, “so he may or may have not told everyone, including Aerin, you know because of Heeseung.”

“Right.” When the information sinks, I buried my face on my hands, “OH.MY.GOD! Park fucking Jongseong!”

“Chill, I somewhat knew.” Sunoo rubbed my back, “the way he looks at you says it all, he’s so inlove with you Yoon.”

“Wait, what?” Did I just hear it correctly?

“You know he didn’t talk to me for a month, right?” Sunghoon said exasperatedly, “he thought that you and I dated.”

“It’s true, I was the first one he drunk confessed to,” Sunoo snickered at the thought, “he said you broke up with him for another guy, that you liked one of his best friends and he can’t do anything about it. It was the week you were at your parents.’"

“Wait, I’m confused. He was never my boyfriend guys. We never dated. Yes, we fucked but that was that.” I tried to explain even if it doesn’t make sense to me, “we were friends with benefits, I didn’t want to tell you guys since things would be awkward.”

Sunghoon sat on the ground, facing me and Sunoo “I only noticed it when he changed. He was always drunk at parties, and flirted with different girls on a daily basis, but he never took anyone home as far as I know.”

“Hard to believe, Hoon. I mean, he plays tonsil hockey with one of the girls in one of our classes, then he flirts with a different one on another. I’m not surprised if he’s contracted STD or something.”

"He never had sex with anyone, Haeyoon. Believe me."

“Didn’t you like him at least? I know you did.” Sunoo urged, waiting for me to answer.

“I did.” I paused, it felt good to have everything off my chest for once, “I really did, but when I saw him kissing that girl at Heeseung’s party, I knew it had to stop, he didn’t see me that way, I totally made a fool out of myself.”

“What? What girl? Did you know about this Sunghoon? Was this the party for Jake?”

“Ah! The girl he was with, I remember. Jay dumped her that same night, then he came looking for you, but you already went home. He wanted to go to you, but we warned him not to drive, he’s already had too much to drink. I think he also tried to call, but you were not picking up.”

“That’s when I started avoiding him, I knew I had to break it off with him. I told him I liked someone else, that’s why I said I liked you, sorry Hoon, I never formally apologised to all of you, I was being selfish that time."

“It’s okay, we all had fun irking Jay. He was so reactive, Jake did have a crush on you, but when he found out your past with Jay, he riled him up for fun, pretending he doesn’t know anything. He’s so jealous of Jake, I think that’s why he reacted that way earlier.” Sunghoon also confessed, while Sunoo's nodding excitedly.

“Hoon is telling the truth, I’ve witnessed it. He walks out if he gets too pissed but will say sorry the next day, saying he doesn’t know what’s gotten into him or that he’s stressed.” Sunoo laughed so hard while saying this, “We were doing this with the hopes that he’d finally confess to you, but he’s too much of a coward, that’s for sure.”

“It’s okay, loves. I’m sure we’ve both moved on, it has been almost a year.”

Or perhaps I thought I did, but with this new found information sparked some unwanted emotions. This could not be happening! Why is it always one step forward, two steps back?

⊱ ━━━━━━━━━━━━.⋅ εïз ⋅.━━━━━━━━━━━━ ⊰

These drunk confessions | Part 2

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[foryouthegays]

The Favor [Dream SMP]

Highlights, timestamps, summary, and transcripts. Feel free to request a transcript or timestamp for this stream! There was a bit of lore but most of it was just the syndicate having fun together, really good stream for chill technocontent!

Summary w/ timestamps

Techno starts the stream in his Antarctic house. He’s in the enchanting room, and he stalls for a while to let viewers join the stream.

At 3:30, he joins a discord call with Phil, Niki, and Ranboo, and walks outside. They’re all standing outside his house and set off fireworks, wishing him a happy birthday. They joke for a while, and then show Techno his birthday cake. This is completely unrelated, probably, but there are different flowers on the table, a cornflower, an allium, and a white tulip. They fire more fireworks, and Techno eventually gets stabbed by Niki and looses some hunger, so he can eat cake. He calls Ranboo a potential professional clown.

9:30 the syndicate sits down and starts filling Techno in on what’s happened while he was gone. He explains his absence as going into the wild to train, not hibernating. They explain that Tommy died, and Techno seems a little sad, but quickly moved to confusion when Phil says that Dream brought him back.

Ranboo reminds Phil that Wil was also brought back, and both Techno and Niki are, understandably, confused. Angry, Niki demands an explanation, and Techno mostly accepts it. Phil mentions that Wilbur is living in his house, and explains that Wilburs changed to Niki.

They go back to joking and non-lore things (thankfully), and return to lore at 15:35. Techno finds a forest in front of his house, Phil tells him that it just sprouted up one day, but tells him not to worry. Ranboo mentions that Phil said ‘it might have been her,’ but they quickly move on. Phil explains more about the revival book, saying that Dream has it and brought back Wil and Tommy. Niki reminds them that he could bring back Schlatt, and that they do not want that. They start talking about government takeovers, and Techno mentions wanting to train Niki and Ranboo to be at least self sufficient, but while hes talking, he spots Quackity on a mountain near his house. He leaves the conversation to go confront Quackity.

He joins the call at 21:30. Quackity thanks Techno for allying with him at the Banquet, and quickly moves topics to Dream and the prison. Quackity tells Techno that Dream wanted him to visit, and finally call out the favor. They joke about scheduling, Techno threatens Quackity a bit, and they leave the call. Techno contemplates if he should trust Quackity, and joins the Syndicate call again at 32:10. They joke, eat more desserts, and fire more fireworks. Phil takes the group to the training room, and they explore for a while. Techno cryptically explains why he left during the party, Niki says that they sound like someone who gives empty promises, and asks if it was Wilbur.

43:00 the group rings the membership bell for a long time. It is very loud.

Highlight timestamps/ me talking:

Starting the streammmm

Ive missed him. I fell asleep to his n phils mcm last night which was nice

1:30 ‘did someone rob me? i feel like there used to be more stuff in here. Or maybe im paranoid!’ Wasnt stuff in that chest like actually robbed? That sucks

2:00 ‘i am a brand new youtuber, i just started out,’ mhm sure techno

2:30 FLOOF!!!

2:58 Techno repeating himself but in a weirder voice my beloved

3:30 he AAAAAAA

3:38 ‘oh my god, oh my god im so canonically surprised’ aldhs,dmhf

4:08 ‘we were scared you might do a flight or fight situation and just start stabbing’ techno canonically chooses fight over flight? I mean makes sense but. Good info to have

7:00 ALDKDFH niki just casually stabs techno, as u do

8:20 ah yes, mr cake man, ranboo, saving the day once more

8:40 ‘you could be a professional clown, ranboo!’ OH MY GOSDILJSHDF

9:30 techno is canonically Very Tall

10:15 techno sad that tommy died? Technosad?

I love how quickly techno goes from acting to laughing at minecraft. He just. He does not care and i support him. Makes it much easier to watch when u know hes gonna point out smthin dumb in the middle of Stress

13:34 ‘life survival tips: do not punch a polar bear in the nose. Just, generally ill advised’ yeah i mean. Ur not wrong

16:13 ‘so ur saying,,,,its like death note,,,in reverse’ ive missed techno

18:35 ‘if you think about it, no one canonically died, so were not even murderers’ i mean hes not wrong is he

21:35 ALDKTH ‘THE QUACKSTER’

Also techno doesnt know his age pog? Hes just That old? Aldkdhf

31:10 ‘bro he said have an awesome birthday and i almost said you too. I almost said you too, chat.’

31:50 were in a boat just two friends in a boat du du duu

32:40 techno called nikis baking delicious!! Aldkdhf! But apparently he likes pumpkin pie and i will no longer be supporting him

34:19 blOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!! BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD BEARRR!

35:40 ‘people have tricks up their sleeves, i have whole cakes’ ok ranboo

45:35 blood for the blood god

[purplesurveys]

693

Does your family have any Christmas traditions? We go to mass on Christmas Eve evening and open presents at midnight. We also go to a certain relative’s house to have monito-monita and occasionally family who have moved abroad will come back to visit; and in the last few years we’ve also been going to my mom’s brother’s place because they also throw a Christmas party. Have you been to Mount Rushmore? No. How many of the United States have you been to? Zero. Where's your ideal vacation spot? Somewhere not too flashy or tourist-y and with a lot of culture and cuisine and things to learn, like Morocco. What meal can you absolutely not stand? Sinigang.

Would you rather live in Idaho, Siberia, or the Australian outback? Siberia. I think I’d find the scenery and the cold weather soothing. The remoteness of the outback would make me go insane in a few days, and I don’t know much about Idaho to want to live there. What's the weather outside like? It’s midnight so it’s a bit colder than how blistering the heat is during the day. It’s not January levels of cold anymore, but I’m still content. Do you (over)use emoticons? Nah I’m a little frugal with them these days. I’ve observed that people will find you too nice and thus find it easier to step all over you if you use too many emojis or emoticons, so over the years I’ve really cut down on them lol. Easier to establish myself as ~alpha that way. Do you get paranoid that someone's looking at your through your window? Yeah absolutely, even if my room is on the second floor. That’s why I like having my blinds pulled all the way down. Do you sleep with the door open, kinda open, or completely closed? Completely closed. What color would you dye your hair if you HAD to? Dark green. What phrase/word do you tend to use a lot? “Yeah dude” when with friends. Right now I’m also using ‘sis’ or ‘ma’am’ a lot when referring to anyone, lol. What grade did you get on your last major test? We were able to take a few exams but we never got the results back because the quarantine threw our academic schedule way off. What color was your Gameboy Color? I didn’t have my own because I never played video games myself, but my cousin had a purple Gameboy Advance and I just used to watch him play all the time. How many piercings do you have? Two. Surprisingly they’ve never closed up considering I haven’t hung earrings in them in more than a decade. Mountains, oceans, or forests? Right now, oceans. Both the schools I’ve attended are technically forests, and my city is already mountainous. A break from both and a trip to the beach would be perfect right now. Have you colored in a coloring book since age 10? I’ve enjoyed coloring books since I was 5, I think. If that’s what you mean. How many times have you moved/changed houses? Three. My parents lived in an apartment for some time, then they moved to my dad’s family in Tondo so that my paternal grandma can take care of me, then when I was 2 we transferred to our current city but this time to move in with my mom’s family, so my maternal grandma could take care of me, then a decade later we moved to our present house, just a village away. When was the last time you "de-haired" your hairbrush? I use a comb, which doesn’t have to be ~dehaired. Blistering cold or boiling hot weather? COLD. Fuckkkkkk the heat. I hate sweating, I hate feeling sticky, and I hate how bright the sun is and how uncomfortable it makes me. Earbuds or headphones? Earbuds. I did have my headphones phase as a teenager though. What was the last movie you saw in theatres? Knives Out. Hated every minute of it, but I did it for Gab.

Do you have any friends that are from out of country? There were people I was friends with before they migrated, with promises of keeping touch yadda yadda – but the distance has ultimately made the friendships dissipate. This was me with people like Raegan, Chrissy, Aubrey, Andi, Angel, etc. who all moved to either the US or Canada. No one’s fault, shit really just be like that sometimes. Do you want Obama to serve a second term in 2012? I think he did, right? What's your lucky number? Does it ever grant any luck? I don’t believe in luck but my go-to number is 4, just because. Not really. Do you take showers so hot, your skin turns pink? Mmmm no not really. I can handle hot showers/baths but nothing that changes my skin color. How old were you when you got chicken pox? I...‘ve never had it yet :( I think of this at least once a week, lmao. Are you afraid that you'll get swine flu? 2009 passed and I didn’t so. Are any of your great grandparents still alive? I think so? We don’t talk about famlly a lot but I think I’ve heard my dad talk about his grandma. Alex Trebek or Bob Barker? Alex Trebek for sure. Wii, Playstation 3, or XBOX 360? These are all virtually vintage now but I’ll always have a connection with the Wii. What's your sexual orientation? No clue most days, but I say demisexual when I’m asked so that I don’t get the confused looks if I do say that I don’t identify as anything. How tall are you? A little over five feet. Who/what are you obsessed with currently? Videos from BuzzFeed Tasty. But I only watch the stuff with Andrew, Andrew and Steven (for Worth It), Rie, Niki, and Alvin. The others haven’t really won me over just yet. Have you had any snow days this year? We don’t have those at all. Do you need to clip your nails? Not right now, no. Could you go for a dip in the jacuzzi right now? I’ll pass. What's your favorite TV show? Friends for the laughs, Breaking Bad for more serious content. How much do you weigh? I haven’t checked but I’m consistently in the 90-99 lbs range. Have you ever consumed alcohol? Do you still/are you going to? I mean yeah. My first sip was almost four years ago. I definitely still am drinking to this day lol. What color are your eyes? Dark brown. Do you have full or thinner lips? They’re a bit full when closed but when I smile, my upper lip thins up. Which of the Pirates of the Carribean's was your favorite? I was never into the series. Is Johnny Depp really the hottest man alive? No. Do you have Windows 7? No I don’t. Brownies or cake? Right now I could go for brownies. My mom looooooooves cakes so we always have a box in the fridge, so I’m a little tired of them by now. What did you get for your last birthday? My mom treated me to lunch at a Japanese place and in the evening Angela took me out for Yabu and a date in Timezone. Where's your significant other? She’s at home reading, but she’s also on the line with me right now. Do you press the delete key or the backspace key to get rid of a mistake? Well the backspace key is called delete in Mac keyboards so I dunno how to answer this. How much blankets do you sleep under? Just one. You don’t need more than that in this weather.

[tobi-smp]

again, I'm not arguing that niki Doesn't get talked over or downplayed in the fandom, but going for tommy isn't really the answer to that? especially when his relationship to l'manberg and wilbur is important.

wilbur is literally central to tommy's character and tommy is Central to wilbur's character, especially right now. it's not fans unfairly focusing in on their relationship, it's the narrative itself, it's the characters. they're given more screen time together, they're given more direct interactions. ghostbur told tommy that wilbur tried to give tommy the presidency because he wanted to destroy Tommy's l'manberg. that's important, that's Significant. tommy was wilbur's right hand before niki was on the server.

that doesn't make niki's relationship with wilbur Lesser, that doesn't make wilbur's impact on her character Lesser, but to claim that people trying to express wilbur's relationship with tommy are having tommy take Her place rather than representing canon is just, odd? niki's villain arc centered around killing tommy because tommy and wilbur were close enough to each other in her mind that she Could place the blame of wilbur's actions on tommy's shoulders without access to wilbur to hold him accountable.

and tommy's relationship with l'manberg is just, canonically like that. giving two of his lives for it in the same day And his prized possessions, insisting over and over and over again that they Shouldn't destroy l'manberg that no one has to get hurt, keeping hope even in the middle of its destruction, turning down the presidency (and the vice presidency) because he doesn't Want to make his personal fight l'manberg's problem, trying to blackmail dream during the trial Because Dream Was Threatening L'manberg, his fixation on the discs during his exile being based on the fact that dream said they're what gave him power over people on the server and tommy thinking that he can use them to go home, tommy's One stipulation at the start of his partnership with techno being that they can't hurt tubbo Or destroy l'manberg, tommy Never cleanly agreeing to destroy l'manberg with techno (saying he will after techno promises friendship but Immediately following it up with the fact that l'manberg is still his and tubbo's home and that it isn't ready to go yet), tommy standing up with everyone to square off for l'manberg despite the fact that he was abandoned for in world months and the fact that there were people there who actively and Openly didn't like or trust him, the fact that he said that l'manberg wasn't Gone yet when doomsday was over (that they still had their community as long as they believed in it).

again, I'm not saying this compare niki to tommy, I'm saying this because it's Weird to minimized extremely important aspects of tommy's character. I mean, by that some token we could argue that fundy and eret are stealing niki's traits because their relationships with wilbur and l'manberg are central parts of their characters.

wilbur is niki's friend And tommy's brother And fundy's father And eret's friend And tubbo's friend (jack manifold is here too)

l'manberg was Intensely important to everyone who lived there because it was Made to be, it was made For Them. it was their community, their friends, their safety.

they don't and Shouldn't Have To compete. and I Get the frustration of having parts of niki erased but the answer to that Isn't to say that tommy can't have relationships that mirror hers, especially when they were friends in the first place.

1/2: I didn't actually know that detail about her birthday party ! or I forgot jfkadls. but that's kinda it isn't it? wilbur's skin didn't change to reflect her having his coat, and her team rocket skin Still only has his hood. it very visibly does not have the full jacket. the explanation here is that either wilbur had more than one jacket (justifying why multiple people could have it in a different way) Or she took the hood in the first place

moreover, the vod with that evidence got deleted, with people thinking it was outright noncanon for a while. it's Really Understandable why people wouldn't have known that detail, especially since niki wouldn't change her skin to reflect it until after the exile arc. (which I know you recognized the fact that it's understandable, but I think it's important to emphasize here because I really Don't think this detail influenced the headcanon at the start of tommy's exile arc)

there is no reason, with the information that we have in canon, for us to assume that that they Couldn't both have visual pieces of wilbur in their designs. especially when they're both deeply thematically significant to their characters and not just like, For Fun (or even if it was for fun? I've seen fics with philza having wilbur's coat because that's his son and he loves him)

3: I didn't say she didn't Or that that scene didn't matter or have impact, I've tried to be completely transparent about the fact that you're Right about niki. my point was that the design for l'manberg's flag already existed and that niki joined the server later. it's not at all uncommon for details like this to be lost over time, just the other day I saw people Explicitly say that tommy didn't try to defend tubbo during the red festival despite the whole Everything about it. the other cc's don't know what happened to other people's characters the majority of the time.

my point in mentioning this is the fact that it's not even Close to being an issue unique to niki's character, people blatantly having false perceptions or gaps in information about characters to the point of it reshaping the entirety of who they are is almost more common than people having a full grasp of those characters. it's just undeniably a Bigger issue for niki and other small creators because there's less content made about and less people Talking about the actual details of their characters.

my point in these responses in general is that I'm not speaking up because I don't think this post should exist or that you shouldn't be annoyed, it's that it's Weird to downplay important aspects of tommy's character and Why people interact with those aspects the way that they do in service of an issue that tommy Also Faces.

the solution to this issue is spreading the information, not saying that people are wrong for emphasizing tommy's relationship with wilbur or l'manberg

I wanted to ask you since you write dmsp fanfics but does the headcanon “Tommy made the L’Manberg flag” ever bother you? Not the ones that say that he made it with Niki, but just give him the honor of that alone and neglect any mention of Niki’s role in L’Manberg’s history besides being invited by Wilbur to join it.

Oh boy. I didn't even know that there were people saying that, but erasure of Niki from the history of L'manberg my abhorred.

I respect headcanons. I have plenty of my own. If someone really wants Tommy to have made the flag that's ultimately none of my business. But I'm not really a fan of the kind of headcanons that erase the impact of other characters, especially ones that are so often sidelined already, y’know?

Stuff like that is why I get so mad seeing people say Niki's character lacks depth or established backstory - I wrote a whole ass essay (/hj) once in response to someone who called her dull.

Niki was the first lady of L'manberg - both literally and in pseudo-title - she took the country in as her own when Wilbur presented it to her and to take that way from her is just... do y'all not remember her horror when Fundy burned the flag? The symbolism of it? Idk >.>

[somesmallfics]

Paul’s 16th

Rating: Teen

Fandom: The Beatles

Finished: No

Summary: At Paul’s 16th Birthday party, Niki wants to give the birthday boy his present, a kiss. His friend, however, has something to say about that. 

After spending the evening with John’s arm around my shoulders, as though it were a chain around my neck, I thought it best to break free and see the birthday boy, without the loom of my sudden admirer commenting that I was far too old to be handing around ‘Young McCartney.’ You see- and he should too- Paul is only a year younger than me, perhaps a few months more, but it is hardly an age gap. Now, I could understand, had John been criticising me for hanging around with George, because he was certainly 2 years (and more) younger than me.

In any case, I hadn’t a crush of any kind on any of the boys. I was friends with them, friends from school. John just wanted to tease me, because I insisted that my birthday gift to Paul would be a kiss. It had been a running joke between us for ages, long before either Paul, George or I ever met the strange teddy boy, the one that hung around Strawberry Fields like a total creep. No, John didn’t know the origins of my gift- to be fair, I had long forgotten by that time too- and I believe he was just jealous.

Though I heard him calling my name as I sauntered through the crowd of Paul’s friends, I ignored it. I ignored his grasping hand as I spun out of his hold and I ignored the sour look changing his face when he saw that I wasn’t coming back. I thought he might follow me, but he was too deep in conversation with someone to just leave. I was actually surprised by that. Usually, he didn’t care if he was being rude. If he lost interest or had something better to do, he wouldn’t hesitate to leave you hanging mid-sentence, thought or idea.

Still, this time he stayed put and I walked up to Paul. The young boy, dressed handsomely in one of his best suits, roughed up a bit in a gorgeously casual way, was sitting by his wall, talking to George with a cup of some fizzy drink in his hands. George, the scrawny thing standing over him, was, as he usually would, miming playing the guitar, doing some strange chord changes with one hand, while the other strummed against his stomach. When I approached, both boys fell silent.

“Mr McCartney, I believe I owe you a birthday kiss.” I said, pulling him up to stand beside me.

“Lost your attachment then?” Paul laughed, noting the absence of John.

I nodded, almost proudly, “He’s gone for now. Probably isn’t too happy about it, but I knew we’d ever kiss if he was around.”

Paul nodded too, “Are we gonna do this then?” He said, void of all signs of nervousness. Perhaps it was only me who was feeling a little pressure. After all, Paul may have been only 16 on that day, but I was sure he’d kissed twice the number of girls than I had kissed boys. I mean, even the skill at which he advanced towards me told me that he’s had a lot of practice. He gazed into my eyes with charm emitted from his hazel irises and tangled our hands together without once having to check what he was doing. I practically fell, toppled into a snog with my amateur lips, feeling a little stupid, because it seemed more of a gift to me, rather than one I was giving to him. He knew what he was doing, he knew that it would make me swoon, that the slight flick of his tongue against my top lip would cause a shiver to run down my spine. All I could do was hope the feeble kiss I managed back was enough to keep him interested.

When we parted, I slowly brought my fingers up to my mouth to hide it. I was feeling immensely embarrassed.

“Thank you, Luv.” He said, his left hand still wrapped around my right. He squeezed my fingers fondly, “That was the best gift I’ve got all night.”

I could feel my cheeks fill with colour, “Best gift I’ll ever get, I think.” I muttered.

Paul sat back down, taking the cup of drink back off the windowsill. My eyes weren’t on him, though. They were cast nervously at the floor as I wiped the small layer of saliva off the corner of my mouth. I couldn’t quite believe how quickly that had happened, and how much I wanted it to happen again. I managed to meet his gaze again a second later, which is when I felt a soft punch in my arm.

“So, do I get a kiss for my 16th?” George asked, his dark eyes sparkling in the low light. I was about to answer, my lips were stretched in a wide smile as I thought of some funny quip, when Paul piped up first.

“I don’t know, I think John might have something to say about it.”

My brow knotted, “What would John have to say about it?” I looked directly down at Paul. However, I realised that he wasn’t looking at me. He was looking beside me. I turned my head to peer behind my shoulder, George did too, and there, storming through the crowd, was John, fuming. I turned fully and held out a hand that I was going to thread through the space between John’s arm and torso. Instead, he grabbed it, pulled me towards him and wrapped one of his own around my waist.

“Can I steal her away, boys?” He asked with a smile on his face. I watched Paul stand up, but he knew he couldn’t say no. Certainly not. Especially when I just shook my head at him. It was better that I go. I didn’t mind.

I let John drag me out. He took me out of the living room- where the main party was- and we headed through the kitchen to the main corridor by the front doors, were the stairs were to the bedrooms. He paused on the first step, making me stand one step higher.

“Do you not realise that you’re mine?” He hissed, guiding me to stand against the wall. I pressed my head against it to inhibit my shaking. It wasn’t that I was scared of John, it was because I was full of adrenaline. The minor shock of seeing him storm towards me, the high of kissing Paul, I was being pumped full of adrenaline and I couldn’t stop my breathing from coming out loud and heavy.

“I’m not yours. I’m not owned by anybody.” I whispered back.

John slowly snaked up to the next step, being level with me. Well, I say level, he was a bit taller than me, so I expect he did it to tower over my small stature. His hands found their place either side of me, flat against the wall. “But you want to be.” He replied.

It took a minute for me to consider this. Yes, I had wanted to be John’s. Specifically, yes, I had once said that I’d love to be owned by someone. The problem here was that John and I were not in a relationship. We’d joked about it before. Of course, we had, we were close friends. There was also no denying that I fancied him. I just never thought he was into me enough to be exclusive to me, to actually want to own me, and only me. I stared into his sharp, brown eyes, wondering if that’s what he now wanted. Because I realised then, that it was what I wanted too.

“Yes.” I breathed. John’s pupils dilated.

“Then don’t you dare kiss anyone else except for me.” He commanded. He backed off a little.

But I wasn’t satisfied with that. If he was going to start with the rules, I had to be sure that I was his, only his.

“Wait, so are you my…” He cut me off.

“Owner, Master, Sir. Call me what you want.” Now he was back to the John I knew. He was joking around. He stopped leaning on me, instead choosing to prop himself up on the banister opposite. He looked so cool, leather jacket draped off his shoulders, white shirt open two buttons too revealing, his perfect Elvis hair undamaged by his outburst. He must’ve used more product in it than I did.

“How about boyfriend?” I suggested, then stepped towards him, realigning our bodies again, close enough to touch. I stood on my tippy toes to reach my lips next to his ear, and I whispered, “I’ll keep ‘Sir’ for the bedroom, alright?”

As I moved back onto my heels, I could see John’s eyes reopen, after he must’ve closed them when I spoke. It made me giggle.

“Well, then, before we head back, I think it’s best you sample the only lips you’ll be kissing for a while.” He chipperly proposed. Shrugging my shoulders, I agreed.

His kiss was not much like Paul’s. Not in the slightest. For a start, his approach was a lot more sloppy and heated. Skilled, of course, but it was less rehearsed, as though he were just following what his body demanded he do. Then he didn’t taste as sweet as little Paulie. He’d probably spiked his own drinks with alcohol and I tasted it on his lips and tongue. It didn’t put me off, however. I was too distracted by his technique. It was intense, passionate. He closed his lips around mine, before opening them and allowing just a short feeling of his tongue inside my mouth. When I tried to reciprocate, trying to get our tongues dancing, he’d shut his mouth. Every time he reopened it, he’d allow a little more, a little more, until he was pushing me up against the wall again, trying to taste the back of my throat. It was… strangely hot.

After, I realised he was drunk. I mean, it was obvious. I wasn’t sure whether he’d remember much in the morning. Least of all, would he remember promising to be exclusive to me. He’d probably block it out of his mind.

Yet, I was happy, as I walked back into the party, his arm once again around my shoulders, if I’d only ever get that one kiss from him.

“Everything alright?” Paul asked as we strode up to him. I noticed that George was gone. He was probably the person changing the music, because the Elvis song crooning in the background had suddenly been changed to Little Richard.

“Everything’s fine.” I replied, beaming so wide that Paul couldn’t help reciprocating. No doubt he took my smiles to mean nothing bad had happened. And the sudden smile on John’s face, like that of an excitable puppy, calmed Paul’s worries too.

The young boy punched John gently, “What’s up with you?” He laughed.

While also smiling, John was swaying a little, his hands playing with the neckline of my dress. “I’m drunk… oh yeah, and you know what helps a man who is drunk?”

In unison, Paul and I chorused, “No, what?”

To which John heartily declared, “More drink, my lovelies!” As he started to head for the table with cups laid out on them. It took barely a small tug to stop him. He came swaying back, feet toppling over one another.

“Maybe you shouldn’t, Luv.” I warned. He made puppy dog eyes at me, yet I still said no. “You still need to get home, you know.”

“Well, you both could stay here…” Paul offered. John took that to mean he could drink much more, but I made sure he didn’t

[pbandjesse]

I should have taken a picture of my outfit earlier in the day because i looked super cute. And I got rained on and was all damp. It’s okay. Today was a bit all over the place. It’s Jess’s birthday! Happy birthday Jess. We texted most of the day since we couldn’t be together. I had much to do. Work and plans for pride and I was looking forward to the day. I got up had some toast and water melon. Showered and dressed. I cut my leg shaving and that was annoying. I loved my dress today. The weather is weird right now. Cool and breezy and sometimes just hot for a few minutes. So i could wear a long sleeve dress and sandals and not feel weird at all. I biked to the art rageous studio. I was like 10 minutes early so i felt good. I was training today so I worked with a woman who’s name I think was stephani. I’m not 100 percent on that one. But she was sweet. Showed me all the forms and such. On Saturdays the studio is drop in. Where people can bring their kids for a few hours and we do projects. I misunderstood and thought they only did on project but we actually have them do all of them offered for the day. Today the projects were pride and MN themed. We made colorful ties and magnets and frames and skyscapes. It was a lot of fun. We had like 8 children over the 2 hours I was there. Amanda came and showed me in a little more detail all the stuff I needed to know. It was all interesting and good. I got my paycheck for the last couple weeks. So that rocked. I’ll hit up the atm tomorrow and put all my paychecks I got in. Its not a lot of money. But it’s something. While i was there Niky texted me that she wasn’t having a good day. And that she couldn’t go with me to pride anymore. Bummer. I was looking forward to hanging out. That was okay. I texted Ashlyn since we had talked about getting together. But she was at a birthday party for her boyfriends kid. But she was going to Pride later and would text me. Alright. I was hungry though and wanted to go to pride then. I would get lunch, walk around the fair, go home take a nap, and meet up with her. And mostly that’s what happened. Mostly. I was to the nicolette diner but they were doing a limited menu so I couldn’t get a sandwich. I got fries and eggs and that was good enough. But I was feeling a little bummed and lonely and just a little hard on myself. But eating helped me feel a bit better. I biked over to the park. Eventually found a place to lock up my bike and walked the park a few times. I had fun. I pet a lot of dogs. Got some stickers. It was really packed and a bit hard to see everything so I might go back tomorrow. I had fun though. The weather started turning and the wind picked up. I kept looking around though. I was in the religious section when a guy holding a baby came up to me. I was like ??? And he said his named was Joey and had sat across from me at the diner. And that he was to nervous to say anything to me but promised himself if he saw me again he would ask me out. And so he did. While holding a sleeping baby. It was actually really sweet. The baby belonged to his friend. So I said yes. Were getting ice cream on Monday. He was so nervous but I found it endearing. And like I had a bi pride sticker on so I guess that clued him in that asking me out at pride was okay. Hilarious though. And then I tried to text Jess telling her but i texted him instead. Oops. At least I only said good things! Not long after that the sky got really dark and it started spitting. I kept walking, but made my way towards where my bike was. It started raining in earnest and I just wanted to go home. I got pretty soaked but I made it back in one piece. I changed into my new sweater because I was freezing. And i got in bed. I tried to watch some tv but i quickly fell asleep. I woke up at 5 but no texts from Ashlyn So I guess she bailed on me. Its fine. Its not really but I just don’t care. I’m sick of putting in more effort on people who don’t give me the same. I still love her, and niky, but I just have to always assume our plans won’t work out. And that sucks. But I was still tired and miserable. I slept another hour and felt better when I got up. I put frozen Mac and cheese in the oven and watched some tv. I’m just chilling with Sweetp now. He keeps pushing on my legs and I’m assuming he wants to play. So I’m going to do that. Tomorrow I’m going to clean in here. Go get groceries. Walk through the fair again and go to the sculpture garden to spend more time with the work. I hope the weather’s nice. Goodnight everyone.