#can u see how big of a mess my music taste is
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I HIT 30 TAGS BC THIS WAS AN AMAZING CHAPTER AND HAS ME SO PUMPED FOR THE NEXT CHAPTER EGGY!! PLEASE THE CLIFFHANGER I CAN'T I CAN'T I CAN'T PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE (no pressure at all!! also omg I cannot tell you how much I missed maneater <3 like ig I just realized it but I just LIVE for how iwa and yn banter THIS IS LOWKEY MY FAVORITE SMAU YOU'VE WRITTEN EGGY EXCEPT I CAN'T SAY THAT BECAUSE EVERYTHING YOU WRITE IS MY FAVORITE THING EVER BUT THIS IS SO GOOD!! AND AS U CAN TELL I HAD MORE TO DAY BUT TUMBLR WOULDN'T LET ME BUT THIS WAS SO GOOD <33)
THE MANEATER CHAPTER SIX: phantom
masterlist
divider credits to roseraris
extras!
akaashi was in yn's room trying to lace up a leather corset for like twenty entire minutes
he said i am a better friend than oikawa and i am going to prove it
sometimes yn goes through these periods of getting worn out from her job (staying up all night on her feet and drinking and then going home to get just a couple hours of sleep before she gets back up again to work on her mixes)
for the most part she's able to maintain a routine that works well for her but occasionally it just catches up to her and brain stops working like normal
iwaizumi has another job at the velvet bar from @causenessus's smau tonics which you should absolutely read if u havent already
maneater goth night playlist
taglist: @wyrcan @thechaosoflonging @deluluforcarlos55 @localgaytrainwreck @cherrypieyourface @eclecticeggknightpsychic @httpakkeiji @does-directions @needtoloveoutloud @kawaii-angelanne @thatonecroc @v1oletfury @lonesomedrive @nnnyxie @guitarstringed-scars @nbcvs @garfieldissocool @iheartpinky @mollyrolls @yogurtkags @yuminako @michivrse @19calicos @sunnyskiezzzz @bailey-reeds @staileykout @kitskasoboring @loverlunaire @iluvaquaphor @lllaw @alpha-mommy69 @acowboykisser @karasyuu @aquariarose @torkorpse @wave2mia @southernfrogprincesd @mfcherry @adorerinn @soulfullystarry @jaynawayna
#MOLCHAT DOMA OMG#i love molchat doma your music taste NEVER ceases to amaze me eggy#ALSO MAYBE I'M GETTING THIS COMPLETELY WRONG BUT I LOVED THIS CHAPTER BC AT LEAST FOR ME#IK I HAVE BEEN VICTIM TO LIKE BEING TIRED AND THEN JUST PUTTING THAT INTO THE SMAU#it's like “i'm tired? well then yn is too.”#AND IT'S NOT FORCED OR ANYTHING LIKE THIS CHAPTER WAS SO GOOD#EGGY I AM BLOWING UP OVER THE CLIFFHANGWR#I AM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THIS GOES#and i love that iwa was so quick to respond and everything <3#I LOVE U BIG TIDDIE BLACK COMPRESSION T SHIRT LIVING NIKE AD REAL BOY MAN <3333#and yes the insults were CRAZY I LOVED THIS SM#also the akaashi parts in the beginning <33#“if you get through this shift we can watch movies tomorrow. yes i'll make you breakfast and coffee”#I NEED HIM#AFTER THIS SHIFT I JUST HAD??? I NEED HIM SO BAD BRO#my dinner (at 10:30 pm just now) felt like a peasant's dinner#akaashi would never treat me that way#he IS a better friend than oikawa A MILLION PERCENT <333 I WANT HIM SO BAD#AND THE WAY YOU WORDED THAT EXTRA WAS SO FUNNY TOO LMAOO#“he said i'm a better friend than oikawa and i'm going to prove it”#LITERALLY WRITING THAT DOWN I LOVE HOW YOU WORDED THAT#PLEASE DO SLEEP SOON EGGY!! AND TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF <33#maneater yn is me except i'm now remixing cool songs for a super cool bar i'm just writing silly smaus#AND AAA TONICS REF <3 I LOVE THEM SM#pov yn is tired and ends up going to the velvet bar where iwa is working just to bother him more while she's off the clock#but the velvet bar is much more chill so she actually has a very nice time#like drinks from a super hot man (suna rintarou) fire music (tonics) AND annoying iwa???? three birds with one stone#WAIT NO THREE STONES WITH ONE BIRD?#NO THAT'S DEF NOT RIGHT I'M SORRY 😭#i really though i messed up there and then i messed up more LMFAO
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sean diaz fluff alphabet (rq)
(A) attractive - what do they find attractive about u? how do they show this?
sean is attracted to anyone or anything that deviates the norm. dyed hair, unique background/perspective, and unconventional features. literally anything u think is unattractive and not up to the beauty standard about u, he probably rlly digs it. hell draw it in his journal always! but not in a way that comes across performative—he just draws u authentically. he doesnt feel the need to modify how u look in his art bc he thinks ure perfect as is (booo corny).
he shows his attraction through flesh-blazing, skull-burning staring. he analyzes his muses thoroughly after all... he knows where all ur freckles/moles are and can draw ur smile from sheer memory. in the months that he crushed on u, u couldn’t help but feel this pestering feeling of being watched in class constantly.
hes still a dorky teenage boy so if u share the same music taste as him or have the same hobbies hell geek out!! “no way she can skate AND listens to my favorite songs…” lyla will just roll his eyes at him in response. he acts like tom from 500 days of summer 😭
(B) baby - how do they act around kids?
sean definitely says he hates kids. hell talk about how annoying they are and use daniel as an example ALWAYS. that however does not hide the fact that he is REALLY good with kids. i wouldnt say its in a fatherly way but kids tend to look up to him as a cool older brother (even when he doesnt try to be one).
sean also secretly loves it when ur good with kids, despite him allegedly hating them. he cant help but grin ear-to-ear when he sees how happy u make daniel. once he becomes self-aware he tries to wipe his smile off asap. when u, sean, and daniel go out u guys are practically his parents. both of u know how to shut down daniels whining fast. albeit sean does more of the hushed, frustrated demands and u just try to defuse daniel.
(if u guys have ever seen the video of jake and tara with that baby thats how i imagine u guys with kids 😈 except ur both a mix of tara n jake)
(C) cuddle - how do they like to cuddle?
honestly the two of u can never decide who’s big spooning and who’s little spooning. to solve this issue the two of u just kind of… stack on top of each other.
esteban will do his routine dad check up on the two of u (preventing teen pregnancy) and walk into u guys jenga-ed on top of each other. ur legs are a tangled mess and u look like two corpses laid on top of each other. scrolling through ur phones while stacked is the go-to. ull be muffled chuckling into sean’s stomach at random videos for an hour…
while cuddling sean always traces little drawings/words on ur body. when u ask him whats hes drawing hell probably say its a dick LMFAO. so romantic 🙄
at the beginning of ur relationship, sean always felt the need to be the “man” and cradle u like some big infant. overtime he got more comfortable and whenever u guys watch movies on the couch hell be sprawled out on top of ur lap. one arm up supporting his head and a leg propped up like a princess xoxo
(D) dates - what are dates with them like? what do they like to do?
concerts, fairs!!! and MOVIES for sure
sean casually drops half his check on good seats for one of ur guys favorite band. the two of u have a tradition of replaying their music for weeks until the concerts about to start. it literally does not matter how many times uve gone to concerts with sean—u guys stay excited every single time. the after concert high is so good and u guys always kiss in the car afterwards. the two of u mess up each other’s hair and shuffle back in ur seats with swollen lips. sean backs out the parking lot while awkwardly clearing his throat 😭
SEAN IS SUCH A BIG FAIR GUY. he gives less than two shits if the pop-up fairs are shady and will probably collapse at the slightest gust of wind. he WILL take u on all the janky rides and tease u for being freaked out. he holds ur hand while giggling like a lil boy on the ferris wheel bc the creaking starts to freak the both of u out. he also tries to win fair prizes for u and say its a “bullshit scam” when he loses.
u beg him to go into the photobooth and take cute little couple-esque photos. he says “fineee” after some convincing with a smile and he avoids ur gaze after too. he definitely secretly wanted to the whole time though!! when they print out, they come out with those face-adjusting filters. u guys are WHEEZING laughing in front of the slot where they regurgitate out those abominations. sean puts it on the back of his phone case bc he thinks its so hilarious 😭
sean is a film nerd considering he had goodlands on his laptop. hes definitely up to date on any movie releases and will want to watch anything new with u. u guys always dissect the movie aggressively afterwards. the both of u will forever and always argue about which characters u liked and didnt over some takeout.
(E) equal - are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
sean on the regular is passive. he never was the “dominant” type to like… back u into corners. in fact he was really awkward when u first met him. hes lowkey scared of women 😭
it took him a while to get comfortable/assertive. by “comfortable” i mean gaining the ability to tease u back LMAO. when he first gave u a snarky remark ur jaw kind of hung open and u guys HAVENT STOPPED SINCE. overall, sean usually was the one to wait for u to initiate something. he never wanted to put u in a situation ud be uncomfortable with.
(F) fight - would they be easy to forgive their s/o? how are they fighting?
u guys fight like an old married couple. playful arguments always happen but once it becomes serious/personal things go south. one thing leads to another and the two of u just get agitated with each other
when u guys do seriously fight sean eventually lets u have ur way ALWAYS. he always prioritizes what u need/feel in the end and is really good at saying sorry. a part of him feels like big fights indicate ull leave him so hell always choke out things like “i just dont wanna lose you” after arguments. it sounds really dramatic but he has DEEP-rooted abandonment issues. hell hold u—whether it be an embrace or ur hand just to feel comforted afterwards.
(G) gentle - how gentle are they, both physically and emotionally?
GAWWWWWWWWWDAUH sean is so incredibly very gentle. sure, he teases u sometimes but in the end, again, he always makes sure ur comfortable! he asks u if ur okay when u look clearly overstimulated/out of it.
physically, sean doesnt mess around. he will constantly playfully shove u, mess with ur hair, etc. obviously its never to the point where it hurts but this is the only way he can get his daily dose of pda, so!
(H) hugs - do they like hugs? how often do they do it? what are their hugs like?
sean is crazy on back hugs. he will always surprise u with one and he WILL trap u in it. ull be walking around his house and chatting with his leech-self wrapped around u. he likes nuzzling his nose in and u can feel his lips curl into a smile on the nape of ur neck when u make a joke (😢)
sean takes the opportunity to embrace u at any moment of privacy hes given. when daniel or esteban catches him he immediately flings off u and starts stuttering LMAO. hes kind of lanky so if anything his clothes are what cushion u. BUT he is very warm and is a personal heater #tbh. who needs a coat when u have sean???
(I) i love you - how fast did they say the l-word?
i feel sean is VERY quick to fall in love but takes forever to actually utter the words out. he will have a love at first sight moment with u and only have the feelings grow bigger and bigger as time goes on. sean is overall a reserved person and wouldnt go out of his way to tell u, no matter how much lyla encouraged him.
he would only say it once it becomes overbearing for him. like, to the point where the extent he loves u has become pervasive and PERSISTENT. it will just explode out of him at some pivotal moment. u guys will be laughing hysterically at something only u guys would laugh at. then, boom, it slips out like its something he had to swallow back down a hundred times before. because its so sudden, it will definitely catch u off guard.
he would repeat it because he didnt think u heard it the first time like a dork. his stomach acid is doing fucking somersaults at this point. u will visibly see this guy’s face drop and his hands start to fiddle anxiously. his eyes will kind of dart all over ur shocked face in fear. he’ll choke a lil “sorry i have no clue why i even said that-“
u lean in and the rest is history 🤓
(J) jealousy - how jealous do they get? when do they get jealous?
sean is always a bit wary of specific guy friends or potential suitors u have in ur life. again, sean picks up on LOTS that most people brush over. he knows when people flirt with u and he always bites his tongue before he says anything.
whenever u talk about other people too much, he gets a little… sassy. ull be thanking some guy in ur class for giving u the answers and hell be grumbling “i wouldve gave them to u…” under his breath. u shoot a look at him and he just defensively puts his arms up LMAO. he never seems to stop either. the amount of times u caught him rolling his eyes… criminal.
(K) kisses - what are their kisses like? where do they like to kiss u? where do they like to be kissed?
sean is so shy when it comes to kisses. when u first began dating, sean never kissed u without a shy “can i?” before. he never knew when was appropriate or if u wanted to kiss him at all. his ears would flare up in red and his eyebrows would furrow in concentration each time.
overtime, as he got more comfortable, sean began finding the “right times” himself. whenever u leave his house he always gives u a quick peck. daniel never misses his opportunity to scream “EWW” as loud as he can. sean will be like “one more” and smooch ur cheek and then say “wait another one” and just KEEP GOING. if he wore lipstick u would look like u were dunked in a pig’s blood.
smiling into the kiss happens without fail—every single time. sean cant help himself, hes a lover boy!! he will always slowly open his eyes and pray u wont catch him sneaking a look. once he pulls away, he laughs while covering his mouth with his wrist. he gets butterflies still, no matter how many times u kiss 😭 im sick.
(L) love language - what is his love language?
sean’s family is big on quality time so he definitely prioritizes it. impromptu hangouts are his absolute favorite and if he could, hed spend every hour he could with u. sean never fails to randomly invite u over and hold u at gunpoint to do family time with him, daniel, and esteban.
also sean is a big gift giver! he will always give u doodles of ur favorite characters and little things that remind him of u. u guys have matching pins, keychains, bracelets, etc. not only does he go all out, but he also knows EXACTLY what u like. again, sean is the most attentive bf ever. hes the kind of man who would spend hours making coraline dolls of u two.
(M) mornings - how are mornings spent with him?
sean is not a morning person. he is almost always running late to first period, so oftentimes u cover for him. he will come to class with messy hair and will lizard-blink at literally anything u say. when u tell him that u gave the teacher an excuse, hell let out a croak-ey "thanks" and he will on a 99% chance knock out right after. he'll probably dazily open his eyes at u every so often and go back to sleep LMAO.
on weekends, sean will... barely be awake for mornings. ull be up and ready, watching hawt dawg man on the couch with daniel while eating cereal. sean shortly comes out of his mancave, stretching and yawning. hell come to lean on ur shoulder and stare blankly at the screen. its never particularly productive but sean couldnt care less honestly.
(N) nicknames -what does he call u?
sean has a disdain for nicknames. uttering any of them out loud just seemed so embarrassing to him… unless he’s making fun of them. he does however love “girlfriend.” its not exactly a nickname but he loves saying ur his girlfriend or “my girlfriends coming over” to people.
at a certain point he started using it in sentences that wouldn’t make sense. he’d go “hi girlfriend” every time he sees u. he’s so stew peed… 😢
(O) on cloud nine what is he like when he’s in love? is it obvious for others?
lyla never hears the end of u. shell be talking about something entirely unrelated and sean will be disassociating with his mouth open. when he finally snaps back into reality the first thing that comes out of his mouth is “do u think she would find it a turn off that u drive me everywhere?…“
“yeah obviously— were u even listening sean?”
“mm okay…” he just goes back to tuning her out again LMAO.
esteban will be asking for his tools from sean and he’d be totally zoned out just thinking about u. esteban will pull himself out from under the car and groan “augh… lover boy…” without sean even saying anything to him… so yes hes obvious.
(P) pda - is he upfront about your relationship? does he brag about you with others? or he rather shy to kiss, etc. when others are watching?
i already wrote on this but sean would rather keep intimate contact privately. that is, unless hes really in the heat of the moment. for example, at a concert hed just get so riled up. the lyrics of the song perfectly aligning with the way he feels about u MIGHTTT just make him collide lips with u, who knows! at special moments he won’t hesitate to kiss u but he’s just usually not a show-ey person.
too many times have the two of u attempted to sneak away to be romantic alone and gotten caught. whether it be lyla, esteban, daniel, or any of sean’s guy friends—they always tease u guys. lyla is so dramatic and she’d probably do the most, screaming and squawking when all she sees is sean hugging u 😭
(Q) quizzes - how much would they remember about you? do they remember every little detail you mention in passing or do they kind of forget everything?
just like i mentioned earlier, sean remembers every little thing. he knows which side of ur smile leans more toward, the distinctive mole on ur arm, etc etc etc. he loves u like how a husband with a camcorder loves his late wife <3
sean has pulled multiple joe goldbergs before u started dating. he will give u some small knick knack of ur favorite video game/show/band and ull thank him, visibly confused on when u mentioned it. hell notice and just go “i heard u talk about it like three months ago.” he only realizes HOURS LATER how creepy he sounded and his ass will start sliding down a wall dramatically in his room.
(R) rosy - what makes them blush?
sean is quick to blush. honestly, any time u guys are intimate in any sort of way his ears are probably burning up. he’ll try to hide that he’s nervous by giving u quick one-liners back but inside his heart is RACING.
(S) security - how protective are they? how would they protect you?
sean goes to great lengths to protect people he loves, like u. in relation to actual life is strange 2 lore, sean definitely does anything in his power to not involve u in the incident. if u try to contact him or find him, he’ll probably be EXTREMELY upset. at first, all he can think about is how much he wants u away from all this mess. he just wants u to live a normal life—and if that meant being far away from him he’d be okay with it. u would beg him to let u back in his life and eventually, with much hesitation, he’d oblige. keeping u alongside daniel on the road allowed u to see another side to sean. he had been hit and came back up so many times just for u. all he wants in his life is to keep u safe.
exempt from life is strange 2 lore, sean always does little things to keep u safe. there are many times where he treats u like daniel—aka a big baby LMAO. he’s big on acts of service as well so he’ll always make u walk on the inside of the sidewalk, hold ur hair away from ur face when it’s windy, help u jump off of places too high up, etc.
(T) try - how much effort would they put into dates, anniversaries, gifts, everyday tasks?
he’s so bf coded of course he puts maximum effort at all times! he gets crafty for you every anniversary—a collection of drawings of u and a curated playlist/burnt cd is the MINIMUM he’s capable of. he’s the kind of boyfriend that can actually pick up on subtleties. something u mentioned liking once? it’s now in his cart.
when sean feels like switching it up he’ll try to do things he’s not used to like pottery and completely fail 😭. he has some place in the back of his closet for all the clunky diy gifts he’s tried to make for u in the past. despite this, he’ll give u a perfect trinket dish and u’ll wonder how he’s so good at everything… well, one day in his room he’ll ask u to go get something from his closet. u go inside and see a cardboard box with 15 versions of that very same trinket dish he made.
(U) understanding - how well do they know their partner?
sean does his best at understanding you as a person. when u talk about complicated emotions and unique experiences he doesn’t quite share, he’ll have this really pensive expression. he nods along and tries to understand ur perspective to the best of his ability. because of this, its really easy to open up to sean.
sean has you down to a T. hes so so so perceptive and knows when u feel uncomfortable. a small falter in ur smile, the glossy glint in ur eyes, ur lip quivering, he sees it ALL. he will immediately try to get u out of whatever situation ure in.
(V) vanity - how concerned are they with looks?
he could give less than two farts tbh. he loves when u look like a mess, more drawing opportunities for him. he however will make a big deal about looking good in front of u. he will be styling his hair for an hour in front of the mirror before going on a date with u, hogging the bathroom. he also practices the way he approaches u and lays out his outfits to impress u LMAO.
(X) xtra headcanon
sean loves cats so much. if u have a cat, he will spend the whole time at ur house trying to befriend them. bro will be crawling all over ur house on all fours... it gets to the point where u guys can never pass by a petsmart without sean making an impromptu visit to see the cats. plus, u guys have matching cat profile pictures!!!
(Y) yearning - how will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
sean coops up and calls and texts u as much as u can. its to the extent where he will send u nonsensical texts just so he can open ur guys' chat. ur phone will be vibrating so much and out of curiosity ull open it to just see random symbols and letters strung together. he'll send u random photos throughout the day that remind him of u and make unplanned video calls. u guys do mundane tasks together in silence for HOURS. they never fail to end with him just falling asleep on call.
(Z) zzz - what are their sleep habits?
sean is NOT a morning person. because daniel’s usually the one that wakes him up, he will slam a pillow into ur face when ur just trying to wake him up. he will open his eyes to see u and mumble a “shit sorry…” and snake his hand around u back into bed. he will hold u PRISONER under those sheets. if u try to shuffle out he will snake another arm around u. u're essentially held hostage until sean decides he wants to set u free... cruel world.
unfortunately i feel like this is very lackluster and COULDVE BEEN BETTER idk. also not proofread so sorry if this was... inchuresting to read... it also sucked me dry so i think i may have to start writing ACTUAL fanfics instead of hcs😢😢😢 thank u if u did enjoy though...
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AAHHHHGHH YOURE WRITING IS SOO GOOD AND CUTE AND HASKSKDBSKSLANS!!!!!! Do you think you could write sub!abby?? love youuuu💋
TYSM MY SWEET NONNIE ♡💕🩷 I LUV U MORE !! ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱
₊˚⊹ cw : sub!abby , dom(?)!reader , face fucking (r!rec) , fingering (a!rec) , mommy kink , edging (a!rec) 🎀 i think that’s it ? hehe this is gross & i love it <333
“ohhhh, abs” you purr at your 5’10 girlfriend as she sits on her knees at your feet, looking up at you with pleading blue eyes. “you wanna fuck me so bad, don’t you bun? hmm?” you mock. abby whimpers when you grab a fist full of her hair, shoving her nose to your clothed pussy. abby inhales deeply, letting your sweet smell swim through her nostrils.
“please baby, please let me taste you.” abby whispers in a low pitched tone, her hands pinned behind her back.
you run your thumb across her pouted bottom lip, “please, i’ll make you feel so good, i promise.” she begs. abby lets out a long sigh, warm breath fogging over your wet panties. you smirk at her, “p-please, please let me show you how good i am.” abby’s voice cracks, her desperate pleads like music to your ears.
you give her a soft smile, granting her permission to begin nibbling at your clit.
abby moans as she sucks and slurps at your hole, “mm- y-you t-aste s’good mmommy ahh.” your hand gripping the back of abby’s neck, fucking her face. “shhh, use that tongue for licking, not talking angel.” you warn sweetly.
“fuck abs th-that feels sfucki- ahh!” you hiss when abby circles your pink pulsing nub, thick shiny cream coating her chin. “y-yeahuhhh right there!” you moan. the blonde keeps her lips glued to your clit, making you curse and gasp with every lick she gives you. abby’s hands still restricted behind her back, she uses her nose to take over for her tongue, the pink muscle now sucked into your tight hole. you continue to push her head deeper into your pussy. as you ride out your orgasm on her face, you can tell abby’s getting frustrated with the uncomfortable feeling brewing between her toned legs.
“what do you need, baby?” you coo at your girlfriend as she falls onto the bed.
you crawl on top of the buff blonde, pressing a kiss to her forehead. your hand travels down to the band of her boxers, slipping under. your fingers sticking to her folds as you kiss her neck. sighs of both relief and frustration come from her pink lips. your hand just resting on top of her clit, not moving a muscle.
abby’s hips are thrusting up into your hand, you still purposely ignoring her whines and whispers of, “please baby, i made you feel so good, please go faster.”
you begin rubbing slow, small circles on abby’s aching clit, occasionally letting a finger dip into her clenching hole, but only for a second. abby is groaning and flailing around on the bed, so fucking desperate. “more! p-please baby!”
“so pathetic abs, so weak and needy coming from such a big strong girl.” you tease. she lets out a sound of annoyance, huffing at your mean and condescending words. “oh? you don’t like that? you’re way meaner to me angel, remember last night? didn’t let me cum for over an hour.” abby’s eyes widen as she realizes what’s in store for her. “ohh poor baby.. you were making fun of me, remember?” you plunge your two fingers deep into abby’s distressed hole. “f-fuck!” abby cries out as your fingers hit her just right, she’s a whimpering mess.
you feel her gummy walls tighten around you, signaling she’s close. you’ve been in this position before, fucking abby blind with just the thrust of your fingers, her teetering on the edge, and right as she’s about to release all over your hand, you jolt your movements to a stop.
“aaa-ugghh! wh-“ abby’s eyes open to see you grinning down at her, her eyes dark and eyebrows furrowed. “fuck you.” she seethes. you giggle at her frustration, picking up your pace again. you slide down to her puffed up clit, kitten licking as your fingers slowly pump in and out of your deprived girlfriend.
abby’s getting close again with every swipe of your tongue drawing figure eights on her swollen clit. her moans are muffled and distraught. “p-please let me cum mommy!” your fingers and tongue working faster to relieve your pent up girlfriend, “go ahead abigail, fill my mouth up.” the second you allow abby to cum, her white creamy juice filling your mouth instantly.
you fall on top of abby, who is trying to catch her breath. “you did so good.” you whisper sweetly in her ear.
a/n : i was struggling with writers block these past few days so i’m sorry if this isn’t the best <3 luv u all 💕💗🩷
☁️ @whore4abby @hersweetheart @enbesbians @abbystoy & @d3arapril (for u my subby!abby luvr) ☁️
#🧸 bee writes ˚ ༘ ೀ⋆。˚#✧˚ ༘ ⋆。 ˚ ✉️ : reqs#abby anderson smut#abby anderson x reader#abby anderson fanfic#abby anderson tlou2#abby the last of us#abby anderson#abby x reader
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rodolfo parra x f!reader headcanons (sfw & nsfw)
SFW
he loves to cook!! esp for u, loves when u praise his cooking and tells him how the meal he made tastes, hes deff cocky about his cooking tho like he knows hes good but hearing u say it!!
honestly u giving him any type of compliment about anything about him not just his cooking skills is like music to his ears
he is a romantic because i said so and we know its true anyway
gives u flowers, not just on the first date
kisses ur forehead, wrist, palm, everywhere, every fucking inch of u
big on physical touch with u
actually listens to what u tell him!! and remembers!! remembers what u like, dislike, if u have been wanting something for a while he'll surprise u with it before u can get it urself
breakfast in bed providing typa guy, doesnt even have to be a special day
a perfect fucking gentlemen. boundaries? respected. hand? held. home? safely. (hotel trivago)
if a bad guy kidnaps/hurts u, he is seeing red and the bad guy is not walking outta there alive, might even torture him a lil if rudys got time?? no one hurts his girl
will absolutely teach u spanish if u dont know it, gets so happy once u start understanding whatever he says in spanish to/around u, when u respond in spanish hes beaming :)
if hes jealous of someone talking/flirting to u he'll silently watch, knowing u can handle it/trusting u, until he spots any discomfort coming from u then hes coming over, putting an arm around ur waist, making it known to this person that ur his and they have zero fucking chance with u
when he proposes, he gets Alejandro's help, makes it perfect, pulls together all your fav things, fav flowers, fav drinks, fav food - its a priv dinner, not at some fancy restaurant, because he wants it to be personal - fav ring, he either already knows what u wanted or he got Alejandro to pretend he needed ur opinions and outright asked u which one ur fav is before he reported that info back to rudy
NSFW
hes not vanilla because i said so
he'd deff be down to try whatever u wanna try, he'd make sure ur never in pain or discomfort tho
switch
soft dom, wouldnt want to see u in pain or degrade u, ur his whole fucking life, his heart, his sun and moon, he is cherishing u and worshipping the ground u walk on
"look at you, mi amor, taking me so well"
"have i told you how beautiful you look lately?" he asks, his hand on your cheek.
you giggle, smiling softly at him and leaning into his hand, "you tell me at least once a day, my love."
"hm, not nearly enough then, hermosa." he replies, leaning in to kiss you.
orgasm denial tho if ur bratty, asking "are you gonna be a good girl for me, amor?"
...or edging until ur a pathetic blubbering mess pleading with him that u will be good and to let u cum - rare tho because ur normally such a good girl for ur sweet rudy and he hates seeing u cry no matter the situation - afterwards he's taking care of u, kissing any tears off ur face, spooning u
unintentionally leaves bruises on ur hips from gripping u too tightly, he just gets carried away with how good it feels holding on and thrusting into u :(
kisses any bruises the next morning, mumbling apologies between each kiss
likes leaving hickeys on u tho and spotting them later peaking over ur shirt, or the fully obvious ones that everyone can see, loves knowing everyone knows ur taken, ur his
his fav positions are ones where he can see ur face, ur eyes, kiss ur lips, its not just fucking to him, its intimacy, its special, its love
likes cockwarming because it means he gets to be physically close with u, u cradled against him, ur arms wrapped around him - while he's working, he has a strong will so if u shift a lil on his cock he wont let it bother him, "stay still, amor, im not finished with this paperwork", but it will bother u and when u get impatient and needy and start begging in his ear he'll take a break from his work to make u cum
hes the wide eyed, pouty, pathetic, whimpering and begging type mess of a sub, he just wants u so badly :( wants to please u, wants to cum in u :(
if u haven't cum before him he'll beg u to let him help u
if hes tied up he will be pulling at those bonds trying to get free just to touch u
if u tell him "no touching" he'll try so hard to be good but then his will snaps at a particular noise u make or how u work urself on his cock and he WILL desperately beg u whining out a "por favor, i want to touch you, mi vida"
his fucking wide doe eyes looking up at u (i cant-), if ur strong enough to resist that look good 4 u
dom or sub his focus is on u and making u feel good
king of aftercare ofc, hes bringing u some water, cleaning u up, cuddling u, etc, whatever! u! need! after the first few times hes got u figured out and doesnt even need to ask anymore
#rudy parra x reader#rodolfo parra x reader#rodolfo parra headcanons#wrote w the idea of a gf in mind but like u can ignore the girl mentions idk#ive never wrote headcanons before is that obvious LOL#my writing
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omg hi Harper! <3
so i saw that the requests are open:
can you do some Sanemi and Giyu alphabets??
thx!!!
Giyuu and Sanemi SFW Alphabets:
Pairings:Giyu × Reader, Sanemi × Reader
WARNINGS:None :)
~~
♡
♡
♡
~~
Listen to these:
☆
~~
Friendly Reminder: This is a request :) Also, I'm really happy that they asked! @whateverbitchguys (I think they deleted their account)
▪︎▪︎▪︎
Another Friendly Reminder:
☆You look hot today
☆Your crush likes you back
☆You slay
~~
Enjoy! :)
Tomioka Giyu:
A- Affection (showing love):
At first it will be Awkward, but he is working on it, he will buy you gifts, and then slowly becomes touchy, like he will hug, kiss, and whatever.
B- Best (best moments with you):
The best moment he had with you was when you asked him out, he became a blushing mess, which is a rare sight, and when he said yes, the way you jumped into him>>>> And the time you first cooked for him was amazing, you almost became his full time cook- he might send his crow over to ask you for your cooking (he did).
C- Cuddles (cuddling positions that won his heart):
D- Dates (where he would take you for a first date):
He would take you near a pond, which makes sense since he is the Water Pillar. It calms him down, the sound of water is perfect, and the sight of you sitting on his lap feels like heaven. He might think it's a dream-
E- Emotions (emotions he will show around you):
He might seem emo and emotionless, but he would actually show deep emotions around you, from happiness to grief, to others. He will try not to show negative emotions, to keep the aura clear. :)
F- Fabulous (something extraordinary about him <3
He seems like a pretty normal person, but he is extremely patient, and you are the most annoying creature in this world.
G- Gentle (is he gentle physically and emotionally while interacting with you):
Yes. He will interact with you like you are a piece of glass, he will treat you gently, as if you were to break at any moment. He doesn't cuss at you or any thing :)
H- Hugs (does he likes hugs?)
Of course he does <3 He would hug you like this:
I- I love you (how much does he loves you?):
A solid 100%
J- Joking (jokes he would say. Is he funny?)
Don't expect something grand💀. He will most likely tell dad jokes, or knock knock jokes. He is more into the romantic field rather than being goofy.
K- Kiss (does he likes to kiss you?)
Yeahh, this is giving me "After Dark" vibes. YOUR LIPS WERE SOFT LIKE WINTER, IN YOUR PASSION, I WAS LOST.
L- Lmao (funny moments):
It's the time Giyu tried to act like Sanemi, so he found a stray dog and tried to touch it, it went wrong and the dog started chasing him. You never saw him running do fast.💀
M- Music (his musical taste):
N- No (things he won't do):
For whatever he has in mind, as long as its gonna hurt you, he'll leave it.
O- OK (things he likes to do):
He definitely likes to be with you <3 basically every thing that has to be done with you. ♡
P- Pranks (does he prank you? How often?):
No, he doesn't prank you. He knows how it feels like to be pranked.💀 #JusticeForGiyu
Q- Quiz (can he answer questions about you?)
Yeah he can, and without hesitation. He notices the small details. <33
R- Rude (is he rude?)
No, do I have to explain?💀
S- Sundays (what he does in his free time):
Yes probably sleep or talk to you <3
T- Talk (Is he talkative?):
No. Period.
U- Ugly (is he ugly?)
Kinda.
V- View (you from his perspectives):
He sees you as his. And you are normally goofing around. What can I say 🤷
W- Will (what he will do for you?):
Would you on your knees for me? Buy a BIG diamond ring for me?
X- idk what to write. Bruh, any way since you stopped by to read, drink wootah
Y- You ( what he likes about you):
Basically the whole package.
Z- Zaddy:
Jk bruh🙄🤚
┉ˏ͛ ༝̩̩̥͙ ⑅͚˚ ҉ ⑅͚˚ ͛༝̩̩̥͙ ˎ┉
Shinazugawa Nemi:
A- Affection (showing love):
My man here sucks at emotions, so um, expect insults <3 examples: Ugly🥰 Asshole😍 Weirdo❤
B- Best (best moments with you);
The best moment so far was when you planned a picnic at night, you had so much ohagi, so yeah. It's his best memory <3
C- Cuddles (cuddling positions that won his heart):
D- Dates (were he would take you for a first date?):
He'd prefer it if it was in his house, because he doesn't want any one to think he is "weak" for dating, but he'll show love once you both are alone <3 When he gets more comfortable, y'all are going to a nearby restaurant that sells ohagi.
E- Emotions (emotions he will show around you):
He'd definitely not show weakness if you both just got together, it needs time. But regularly, he'd show anger, and a little of affection if he is feeling cute today.🥰
F- Fabulous (something extraordinary about him):
He can shove his whole foot up your ass <3 Jk, but it's real. He is light tempered, please be worried if you are annoying, alots off y'all out there SHOULD be careful.
G- Gentle (is he gentle with you physically and emotionally?):
Physically yes. Emotionally no.
H- Hugs (does he likes hugs?)
Yeah, but not in front of many people <3 He'd hug you like this:
You be like: 👁👄👁
I- I love you (how much does he loves you)?:
He doesn't. Just kidding, a perfect 100% <3
J- Joking (jokes he would say. Is he funny?):
He doesn't say jokes, and no he is NOT funny. You recall the time you forced him into telling a joke he said:
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there? <3"
"Mr. Angry"
"Angry Who?"
"ANGRY AT YOU"
K- Kiss (does he likes to kiss you?):
Yeah he does, but it he would be aggressive at times, but at times he'd be gentle.
L- Lmao (funny moments):
You gave him ohagi one time, but he catch is that it was filled with water, you imagine his face and your grave <3
M- Music (his musical taste):
Bc I can:
N- No (things he won't do):
Y'all listen! He might be mean, but he never wanted to hurt you, even if you had a fight, he'd try to swallow his pride and apologise. <3
O- Ok (things he likes to do):
As I said before, he likes ohagi, and moonlight walks, he adores heart to heart talks. He likes to spend time with you, since his love language is Quality time and Physical touch.
P- Pranks (does he prank you? How often?):
Yeah he do prank you. He once faked a horrible wound, and when you saw it, you panicked. He jumped out of his chair and said: YOU JUST GOT #KRISSED ICHI GITCHI DADADA. OK, jk, he said: YOUR FACE WAS PRICELESS! TOO BAD I DON'T HAVE A MIRROR! *laughs and accidently snorts, and it got followed by a fart-*
Q- Quiz (can he answer questions about you?):
Yeahh
R- Rude (is he rude?):
Why you here? Ofc he is.
S- Sundays (what he does in his free time):
If he wasn't with you, he'd be at the park watching kids falling, and he'll laugh.
T- Talk (Is he talkative?):
Yeah, but only with you, because you got nothing to do with your life.
U- Ugly (Is he ugly?):
"Ew! He looks like a bug eye creep!"
-my friend
V- View (you from his perspective):
His personal equipment, the person he trust the most, the person who is annoying.
W- Will (what will he do for you?):
He'd definitely do anything to please you.
X- idk what to write here, but DID YOU SEE S2 KAZUTORA?! I WANNA BE SAVEEEED
Y- You (what he likes about you):
Every. Fucking. Inch.
Z- Zaddy:
Omg yeahhh.
Hi <3
I'm glad you reached this part <3 I want to thank alots of you guys ♡ lots of people started following me these days <3 ILY YALL. BIG THANKS TO @ask-muichiro-tokito thx bestie♡
Harper <3
Tags:
@ask-muichiro-tokito @sanemis-zubbue @sanemitiddies @sanemisgirl @sanemiangel @sanemi-the-teach @sanemis-eyelashes
Don't ask why I tagged y'all. I felt like it <3
#sanemi shinaguzawa#giyuu tomioka#demon slayer x reader#kny#kny headcanons#kny x reader#sanemi headcanons#sanemi shinazugawa#sanemi x reader#y/n#demon slayer#giyuu headcanons#ily#gyomei headcanons#headcanons#kazutora#demon slayer x y/n#demon slayer x you#dates#ask-muichiro-tokito#fan page
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*years later* thanks so much for the tag @lovelybeautifulpretty!! cant recall if i warned u before but i tend to go buckwild with these, sorry and your welcome :D
Here are top 10 fav films and surprise surprise, im just a hot mess of eclectic tastes 🤷♀️ in no particular order:
Robocop
This 80s masterpiece is a smart political satire/social commentary disguised as a comic book/action revenge movie that interweaves hilarious dark humor, ultraviolence and science fiction in a simple yet seamless plot. It will honestly SHOCK you just how much it has to say on American evolutions in capitalism, media influence, desensitization to violence, gentrification, and our perception of heroes, each in service of a greater conversation about identity and culture.
Atonement
I consider this film the pinnacle of an angsty/doomed romance executed perfectly on-screen: the performances, the cinematography, the music, EVERYTHING!! Funny story, me & the girlfriends went to see this in theaters expecting a typical period romance; left completely snot-dripping, bawling our eyes out. I shit you not, i felt the utter devastation from this film for WEEKS
Amelie
If there was a film to define the term "whimsy" then this is it!! Its so creatively rich, with such a fun and sweet art style in the characters, the way its filmed, the music, the romance- it'll make your heart ache for days.
Inglorious Basterds
I'm a big whore for Tarantino ever since Reservoir Dogs, but I consider film his ABSOLUTE masterpiece. The comedically distinct characters, the sharpness of dialogue, how he builds up the tension of scenes to the point of explosion with just a simple conversation- *CHEFS KISS*
Children of Men
This dystopian sci fi drama was made in 2005 but with all the social commentary woven into the background of the story, it is eerily topical in today's tumultuous political & social climate (which is very telling about us as a society I suppose). The director Alfonso Cuaron is a master at "show don't tell" filmmaking and it SHOWS. Also the tracking long shots in this film are something to witnessed, beheld even. Masterpiece.
Bridget Jones' Diary
My absolute FAV romantic comedy, i totally relate to this bumbling, epic disaster of a woman, even more so now that i'm 30+ like her. Fun fact, the plot is heavily inspired by Pride & Prejudice which is probably why i love it so much. Also Colin Firth 🥵 (which leads me to another fun fact- he was cast as Mark Darcy mainly due to the author's crush on him from his portrayal of Mr. Darcy in the 1996 BBC miniseries which put him on the map, and rightly so. I know the film adaption is super popular, but any P&P fan NEEDS to watch this version, so so good)
Chicago
This musical ruined all theater musicals for me forever- the film adaptation is THAT good!!! The spectacle, the numbers, the PERFORMANCES- Catherine Zeta Jones slayed as Velma Kelly (also my ovaries), i love it so much that i watched it 3 times back to back on a flight i honestly couldnt get enough lol
Kung Fu Hustle
This film is Stephen Chow's magnum opus- an action comedy that blends kung-fu and all sorts of historical chinese references and homages of the directors favorite films, you can tell the passion and the fun that went into making this film and it really REALLY shows. I consider this a perfect execution of what a live-action anime could be, this film is an absolute blast and classic
Annihilation
I've got a bit of a cosmic/existential horror kink (where a form of media makes you question the world/life as we know it or triggers an existential crisis) and this film gets it RIGHT. It's a philosophical sci-fi thriller but is so much more with its themes of pain and identity, exploration of humanity's disposition for self destruction but also its unsettling visuals and soundtrack. Funny story, the sound design is so alien/unsettling that it spooked my cat from her nap and got her staring at the screen with wide eyes and an arched back trying to figure out what the eff was going on (me as well).
Also love how its an all female cast but its never mentioned in-film; just a bunch of capable women going to take care of business (i didnt even notice until my 2nd watch)- im a fan of this approach as it in effect "normalizes" this scenario whereas calling it out as if its special just highlights how it's an exception...anyway, its a horrifically beautiful film.
Sicario
Denis Villeneuve can do no wrong in my eyes (nor cinematographer Roger Deakins), a beautifully shot thriller that serves as a social commentary on how laws are meant to be broken, lines are drawn and then erased when convenient, as long as it serves a so-called greater purpose, that keeping a moral code is a futile effort. Brilliant performed and written, nuanced characters, glorious cinematography and a killer soundtrack (RIP Johan Johansson), A+++++
alright sorry for the long rambling post, cant help myself! Tagging a bunch a folks that seem alive per my notifs, no pressure of course!!!
@writebecauseyoucannotbreathe @nuri148 @your-lavender-dreams @warbarbie @levi4mikasa @onigiri-dorkk @helena-thessaloniki @misplacedgamer @lovely-apparitions @ally147writes @stalactice @vero-icon @mylienated @hellhorsedotjpg @magicalanchordestiny
#thanks for the tag!!#tag game#robocop#atonement#amelie#inglorious basterds#children of men#bridget jones diary#chicago film#kung fu hustle#annihilation#sicario
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Bunny!Jungkook
Ugh goodness.. How can you get your tongue inside my pussy so deeply? U-huh, feels so good.. Ahaa.. Look at you baby.. Spreading her legs to get a better look at his messy eating but also letting his tongue reaching even deeper inside of her. Running a hand through his hair and she leans on her other hand. Wanting to watch him dig her cum from her body with his tongue. L-look at you.. All I can see is your big, beautiful eyes.. F-uck! Can you feel me clenching around your tongue?Just want to suck you in so you can always make me feel this way.. Oh, right there baby, right there! You’re gonna make mommy cum so deeply.. Ah, I wanna cum all over you. You wouldn’t mind that either would you? I know you wouldn’t.. You always want me all over you, don’t you baby.. No other woman could ever compare to me. No one. She takes her shirt off along with her bra before laying flat on her back and grabbing her breast. Placing her feet kneeling the bed, she spreads her legs even farther apart just enjoying the feeling of his tongue and nose rubbing up and down on her pussy. Keep going, fuck, keep going baby.- You’re such a good boy, making Noona cum whenever I want.. Suck my cli and fuck me with your fingers baby, please- I’m gonna cum! Doing as she says, she reaches down to grab the back of his head and pushes his mouth deeper on her clit as she cuts all over his fingers. Look at that.. You made your mommy cum so much, I made a mess.. If you be a good boy and clean me all up, I’ll let you fuck my pussy with no condom.. I know you wanna cum inside me baby..
As he Laps at your sweet nectar, Jungkook eagerly pushes two his fingers inside you, fucking you onto his finger while using his tongue to lick you spotless clean.
You taste so fucking sweet, and the way you just promised to let him fuck your raw, he’s going to make you cum twice before he can claim his reward.
You’re clenching and so wet, sucking him in like a greedy whore, you’re his favorite, his pretty noona.
He’d do anything for you.
“A-Ah fuck look at you taking my fingers in so well- fuck.” He says, pumping them in and out, before exploring deeper, you’re being so vocal it’s music to his ears.
He smirks when you gulp and your walls flutter, “gonna cum again! Aw it’s okay noona cum for me.” He presses a kiss on your thigh.
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hi! can i please req a matchup for AOT, One Piece, and MHA? thank u!!
pronouns: she/her
sexuality: straight
zodiac/MBTI: cancer and esfp
appearance: 2b curly brown hair, brown eyes, brown skin, 5'7 and not fat but not skinny
personality: i love to tell jokes, i like saying what comes to mind, i dont tend to think before i speak which people have told me is a bad habit, and i am very outgoing
likes and dislikes: i like music(kanii, drake, odetari, a$ap, etc) i loveee dogs, love chocolate, love sour food, dont really have any dislikes other than people who put their friends down for social status
hobbies: listening to music, working out, drawing, cooking and watching youtube
Hi Anon! Thank you for your request! I'm currently up to episode 296 (Enies Lobby) of One Piece so please keep that in mind while reading. Sorry it took so long. I hope you like your matchups!
In Attack on Titan, I match you with...
You and Connie are the comedy duo of the 104th, much to the chagrin of everyone else. You’re unstoppable, especially if Sasha decides to join in.
I think Connie has the same problem with speaking before he thinks things through, so if either of you think the other is about to say something out of line around the wrong person, you’re able to stop them before it goes too far. You are each other's filters.
In a modern au, Connie would love watching videos with you. He has spent so many hours watching every random YouTube video that pops up that his algorithm’s a mess. It just throws everything at him at this point.
I also see Connie as a dog person so he’d love going to animal shelters or pet shops with you to say hello to all the cute dogs, both young and old.
Loves eating anything you cook for him! He’s not great in the kitchen but is more than willing to help out with little things like cutting and stirring if you need a hand.
In One Piece, I match you with...
Much like Connie, Luffy also has a habit of speaking without thinking first. However, he has no problems with this and will most likely encourage you to speak you mind around him.
Will never put you down. He’s your biggest cheerleader so everything you do will be a big deal with him around. Whether it’s working out, cooking, or making a joke, Luffy thinks you’re amazing.
Speaking of cooking, if you manage to convince Sanji to lend you the kitchen, Luffy would be over the moon to try the food you make.
Sure, he loves Sanji’s cooking (and will eat anything given the chance), but eating something made by the person you care about most is a whole other level of amazing.
Luffy also loves working out with you. He’s an interesting opponent if you want to practise fighting since you never know what he’s going to do next but he’s also good to do other forms of training with.
In My Hero Academia, I match you with...
Rounding out the trio with another one who speaks his mind without considering the consequences. Denki knows saying the wrong thing at the wrong time is bad, but will that stop him? No.
Enjoys listening to music with you. He’s got a pretty wide taste so anything you play will be okay with him. As long as you’re able to dance to it and you’re both having fun, he’s down for anything.
Another one who is mildly addicted to watching videos. Much like Connie, Denki will watch anything and everything that shows up in his feed so he’s also happy to watch whatever you’re watching.
I don’t see Denki as someone who works out by himself but he doesn’t mind doing it if he’s got company. He’d enjoy working out with you since you provide each other with the motivation to keep going when it gets tough.
Thinks your drawings are awesome! He can only draw stick figures and sad looking trees so no matter how bad you think your drawing might be, he’s always there to hype you up.
#writing#fanfic#matchup#matchup request#request#attack on titan#shingeki no kyoujin#connie springer#one piece#monkey d. luffy#my hero academia#boku no hero academia#denki kaminari
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| music tag game |
a huge thank you to @trashkinglightwood and @andrewspipedream for tagging me!! ❤︎
rules: set your music to shuffle and list the first 10 songs, and then choose 10 people to tag
opposite of adults // chiddy bang
pacify me // soleima
moving on // bts
一萬小時 // cosmos people
lotto // exo
alene // arif
love somebody // frenship
names // andrew applepie
life itself // glass animals
after the disco // broken bells
i tag: @peanutdaze @soullessminyard @dustmotes-of-sonder @laliseok @f-xholecourt @alrightevains @f1kelove @aqrie @everheartings @askybison
#but if u don't wanna do this............ u don't have to#also if me tagging u in those things annoy you then let me know and ill stop lmao#tagged me#thank u both to pacla and sabrina ur both angels bye#joanna talks#can u see how big of a mess my music taste is
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17 going on 27
summary; one second, you’re sobbing at prom because the most popular guy in school dumps you due to your relationship being a little prank to break your heart. the next? you’re a creative editor at Ego, the hottest young adult fashion magazine. as you try to figure out what’s the deal with this sudden time skip into adulthood, you come across relationships and friendships that are made to be cherished and made to be broken. pairing; photographer!jungkook x editor!reader (f) genre/warnings; fluff, crack, future enemies to lovers, teenage and adulthood angst, time skips from high school!au to late twenties!au, 13 going on 30!au, all your romantic movie tropes come to life! a really big mess honestly, various movie and music references, mentions of sex, use of alcohol, everyone give jin and jimin a big ol hug, language, a surprise guest from the queen of england w/c; 22.6k a/n; it’s that time of the year baby! the time of the year where i binge watch the good ol’ early 2000s romcoms that make absolutely no sense! a huge thank u to @eerieedits for making this beautiful banner. vivi got the whole delia’s/claire’s vibe down to a t!
if you enjoy this fic pls consider giving it a like and a share✨✨✨
March 19th, 2011
Thirty, flirty, and thriving!
You finger the dog-eared magazine, last month’s issue of a shoddy fashion magazine that featured top actress Jennifer Garner on the front cover. Her caramel brown highlights practically glow on the page, blown out and beautiful. You suppress a sigh, you long to be the radiant young woman on the cover. The headline is glittery, sparkly and just begging for attention.
Swiping a hand through the pages, your eyes are crowded with over-stimulation. Colorful models dressed up in the latest designs, Chanel and Burberry suits you can only dream of, and happy women at the prime of their lives.
Twenty-seven and in Heaven! You smile wryly at the cheesy rhyme that headlines the following pages, but nevertheless the happy model on the spread does indeed look like they’re in heaven.
Sure, you’re no shrinking violet. Heck, you don’t even consider yourself painfully average. You may not be on the traditional spectrum of popularity in high school, but you get around and have a wonderful best friend and an even better boyfriend. However given the social classes that preside, you do get those moments where you second guess your life’s position. Good thing high school has an expiration date, and you’re close to the end.
“Baby Bun, what are you doing?” the magazine is snatched from your grasp, thrown on the table without a care in the world. Jennifer Garner’s hydro-whitened smile gleams tauntingly at you, “reading that junk is gonna mess with your head.”
Your boyfriend returns from his final suit fitting, his outfit for tonight all pressed and ready to go. He pouts at you, pulling you up by the hand to lead you out of the Men’s Warehouse. Jeon Jungkook. Captain of the lacrosse team, flying by high school with a sports scholarship already in the bag. Eats up attention like plants soak up the sun. Secretly loves taking photographs of his dog and watching Netflix animes at your house.
“Aren’t you excited for prom?”
“Excited to listen to LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem on repeat?” you guaff, “as if.”
He pinches your arm lightly, “You also forget that we’re gonna tear up the floor to Nicki Minaj’s Superbass.”
You shrug listlessly, crunching the white plastic closer to your body.
Before you can suck all the air out of the garment bag, Jungkook carefully extracts it from your grasp, easily holding it between his one arm so he can thread his other hand through yours. “I am excited! It’s just that… Jimin’s not gonna be there and we’re sitting with the Yearbook committee.”
Looking down at the floor you extract your hand from his, slipping into his parent’s Honda Civic. The yearbook committee, meaning you’d be sitting at a table with head editor Jennie and her group of friends. Friends that are popular and pretty, just like Jungkook.
Jimin is currently on a flight back from Korea due to a family funeral, therefore leaving a seat empty at your prom table. It was only seat that you cared about, other than Jungkook’s. It’s no one’s fault and Jimin of course is doubly upset to miss prom, but without your best friend you’re not sure if you can survive the night.
One of the few secrets you keep from Jungkook is the fact that Jennie and you aren’t exactly friendly to each other. You don’t know why, maybe it’s the fact that you don’t run the in same friend group or you always win the debate in Civics class, but Jennie clearly expresses her dislike for you as easily as she expresses her love for Jungkook.
Which makes you incredibly insecure, but Jennie and Jungkook have been friends for longer than you and him have been together, who are you to intervene?
Jungkook slips in the driver’s seat, but not before pressing a chaste kiss to your cheek.
Right. You’re Jungkook’s girlfriend, and that should matter more than his friendship with Jennie.
But the smell of his freshly cleaned lacrosse jersey, his duffle bag overflowing with protein powder and unfinished assignments remind you that you have your world and he has his. A conversation about your insecurities could wait until tomorrow.
“When’s Jimin’s flight?” Jungkook asks, one hand on the steering wheel and the other tapping on your thigh as he pulls out.
“He’ll be back two hours into the dance,” you report, albeit glumly as you rest your head against the cool window.
“That sucks,” Jungkook replies, a bit of sadness in his tone, “he has to miss out on his prom night.”
You shrug, “Prom isn’t everything, it’s about the people you spend it with.”
“Well then,” he squeezes your thigh, “I’m glad I get to spend it with you.”
You only have a few hours to get ready until you meet Jungkook at his house for pictures, so when you get dropped off, you tell him that he doesn’t have to get out of the car to escort you into your home. But Jungkook is insistent, putting the car in park and getting out your dress for you with such delicacy that you’re positively sure there’s no wrinkles in the fabric. Taking the dress from his grasp you wish him goodbye and a promise to meet each other later.
“Wait,” Jungkook is biting his lip, unable to let go of your hand even though you’re already up the stairs. You’re looking down at him, a rarity considering his tall frame.
“What’s wrong, Kook?”
“Uh, I was just thinking,” he’s scratching the back of his head, and you soften. The little quirk he has is a sign of insecurity, being the star player Jungkook is forced to exude confidence to a fault. “Maybe, we could skip the prom thing? You said so yourself that prom is about the people you spend it with.”
Your eyes widen, clutching your dress tighter. “What? Jungkook, that’s ridiculous. Between the both of us we’ve spent a lot of money on the clothes and the tickets.”
“Right,” he forces a laugh, and you put a hand on your hip to think it out but you can’t quite place what’s going on. “Sorry Bun, I just know how the finale of our favorite anime airs tonight.”
“You’re so silly,” you chastise, reaching down to pinch his cheek. Normally he hates it, but you can’t help but melt when he leans into your touch a little more. “C’mon, I know suits are stuffy and stuff, but let’s just do this high school rite of passage thing. Afterwards we can go to McDonalds or something and watch the recording.”
“You’re right,” his face is red, “what was I thinking? Can’t miss out on a night to see my beautiful girlfriend all dressed up.”
He squeezes your hand one last time, a little too tight for comfort. With a half smile he waves, going into his car and driving off.
You don’t have time to dwell on his weirdness (and trust when you say that Jungkook is plenty weird and it astounds you how the rest of your class has no idea) so you fly up to your room to get your hair and makeup ready. Your parents greet you excitedly along the way, telling you there’s a package left for you on your vanity.
It’s a plain cardboard box, already cut and unwrapped by your parents for convenience. The address shows it came from Korea, proudly displaying the name of your best friend on the return address. Inside is a beautiful compact, made of brushed gold and pink metal. The makeup inside is a loose glitter from a brand that you don’t recognize, but since it’s a gift from Jimin, you trust his taste.
I have to be at prom somehow, Jimin’s note on the box reads, don’t overthink and have fun!
You snort, reading the sticky note over and over in Jimin’s voice. Looking over the shade, you can’t help but grimace at the cliché name. Wishing Dust. The color is a little too white and silvery for your taste, but you’ll wear it in honor of Jimin.
The dress, the hair, the makeup all come together little by little. You like the ritual of getting ready, building yourself up to the highest order and feeling closer and closer to the beautiful women in magazines. Surprisingly, your favorite part of getting ready is applying the glitter that Jimin gifted you. The puff enclosed is cloud soft, and surprisingly the color doesn’t look too ashen on your skin. The glitter sinks into your skin like a soft butter, accentuating your collarbones and cheeks as if you are glowing from within.
You smile at yourself in the mirror. A little part of you wishes you could look like this everyday. You wish you could always look and feel this confident, and act mature and graceful.
A buzzing on your desk stops your wishful thinking, and you frown at the message that lights up your phone.
Jungkook: sorry bun, but the civic finally broke down and its on its way to car heaven. Could we meet at the party hall instead? We can take pictures there, jennie mentioned yearbook hired a photographer
Disheartened, you send a quick text back saying it’s fine. Any more explanation on your feelings would reveal your disappointment. You don’t know how you’re going to tell your parents that they won’t be taking pictures with your boyfriend anytime soon. So you suck it in and take solo pictures for your parents and some group selfies. This is just one bump in the night, the rest of it should be smooth sailing.
But when your parents drop you off at the venue your eyes first land on a beat up Honda Civic. You’re pretty sure car heaven isn’t at the prom.
The rest of your entrance is a blur as you go through every corner of the venue, searching for your boyfriend. You’re clutching his matching flower in your hand, a beautiful red rose with baby’s breath circling around it, all clutched together in a black silk ribbon. You wonder what kind of flower he bought you.
But it’s nearly impossible to find him. Not at the photobooth, the appetizer buffet, or in the lobby. It’s not until you’re sweating at the brow and nearing the corner of the venue that you do find him.
Lips locked, kissing Jennie.
The plastic encasing Jungkook’s boutonniere drops, clanging to the ground.
Whispers of you circle the air, meeting your ears and confirming all your insecurities.
“Oh my god, I knew Jungkook was cheating on her!”
“Wow, how pathetic. She ran all the way to prom alone to see this?”
“I thought his girlfriend was a smart girl. How did she not know that their relationship was a bet all along?”
Jungkook and Jennie are on the balcony, looking picture perfect in matching formal attire and flowers. The sun is setting, not taking its time as it sinks deeper and deeper into the horizon. The sky darkens and the air is chilly, much like your heart.
Jungkook's eyes are wide and in shock as he watches you from the balcony, but Jennie’s are sharp and satisfied. Satisfied, as if the whole thing had been orchestrated.
While you can’t hear him because he’s so far away, you can see the ghost of your name on his lips. Your ears are ringing, numb to the laughter of the students watching and the pity that others are throwing at you. You feel dumb. You feel like throwing up. In a bout of anger your heel digs into the plastic of the boutonniere, crushing the innocent rose in its clear coffin.
You don’t make it far out the door when one of your favorite teachers snatches you in concern.
“Honey, any further and you’ll be running on the highway," Mrs. Song jokes, pulling you away from the entrance.
You feel like a newborn deer in your heels and incredibly heavy in your dress as Mrs. Song drags you over to a staff bathroom. It's far, far away from the actual party. Mrs. Song doesn't say anything, and just gives you a sad smile as she let's you go into the single stall alone.
Sitting on the toilet and not giving a care that your dress is probably getting soiled, you bury your face in your hands and finally let the tears flow. Fat, frustrated tears roll down your cheeks without a care in the world.
"Mrs. Song please, I need to get in there."
"Now Jungkook, I think you've done enough for today. Go back to the party and don't worry about it."
You can imagine Jungkook now, he hated it when people told him not to worry. It only made him more annoyed, fists probably clenched under his perfectly tailored suit and his cute teeth uncharacteristically gritted. He cared to a fault, at least you thought he did. He ruined your night, he made you feel so dumb and silly.
But the longer you stayed in the dim bathroom, you could care less. Thank goodness for Mrs. Song guarding the door. Why would he bother to follow you? It turns out all your insecurities are not in vain, and that you’ve been ignoring a gut feeling you’ve mistaken for your lack of trust. You shouldn’t have trusted Jungkook. You shouldn’t have been so tolerable of Jennie.
Goodness, you feel so stupid. You hope that there are other bathrooms for staff to use, because you want to coop yourself in here until the last dance. Mascara drips on your sleeves, your hands swiping at your cheeks to stop any tears from staining your dress even further.
The more you hear Jungkook and Mrs. Song argue, the more you want to disappear. You bury yourself on the floor, uncaring of how dirty the tiles are. Glitter smears across your cheeks and sticks to your hands, and you no longer feel like the thriving young adult you once felt when you walked out the door this evening.
All you can do is cry and pray you can get through the night. And the next day, and the rest of senior year. You don’t want to see Jungkook or Jennie until graduation, when they walk out of the door and permanently out of your life. You wish you could skip the rest of the semester, and fastforward to the life you’ve carved for yourself in your dreams since freshman year. You wish you could be like the woman on the magazine, who has her whole life put together. To be a woman who holds all the confidence in the world and doesn’t have to worry about stupid men.
Just like the cover. Thirty, flirty and thriving. Just like the models in the magazines. Twenty-seven and in heaven.
Just once, do you want to taste the feeling of having life on your side.
March 20st, 2021
Your first thought is that you feel disgusting.
Of course, falling asleep in a random bathroom stall will make you feel those things. Your dress clinging uncomfortably to your sweating form, lulled to the sounds of Mrs. Song’s temperamental voice and Jungkook’s arguing.
But for some reason it’s a different kind of disgusting. The feeling is rotting in your throat, as if there’s a tang stuck to the roof of your mouth. You also feel impossibly dehydrated, as if you’ve run a marathon. And for some reason you’re sore? Especially in the crotch, and you don’t remember experiencing any cramps yesterday.
Your hands come to your body, and instead of feeling tulle and taffeta your hands are greeted with a silky black negligee that hangs across your waist. Panic stings in your bones like a stroke of lightning.
Eyes snapping open, your breath catches in your throat when you take in the room. You’re on a large plush creme couch, large enough to be a bed. The organza curtains are a shade of bottle green and are opened slightly to let the morning sun in. From your view it seems like this is the top floor of the complex, overlooking the city horizon.
You feel the covers shift slightly, and you realize there’s a naked man sleeping next to you. You scream.
The man screams back with an even higher pitch, falling off the couch and clutching the sheets like a lifeline. “What?” he panics, eyes darting back and forth across the room like he’s on a reality television show. “What the fuck? Is there something on my face! Why are you screaming so early!”
The fact that he’s an adult man and you’re seventeen is even more terrifying, and you feel absolutely naked despite the fact that you’re nearly clothed. But what confuses you more is that this man looks awfully familiar.
Familiar in the sense that you’ve seen him in one too many television sitcoms to count. This man in front of you looks like Kim Seokjin, the protagonist of your favorite television show: Sky City. He has the same plump lips and pretty face, only aged up. But last time you checked on Soompi, Seokjin is supposed to be twenty years old and filming the next season in New Zealand. Arguably he could be his older brother, but he never acted and you don’t think he’d be the spitting image.
“Seokjin?” you taste the name on your tongue, “Kim Seokjin?”
Seokjin relaxes considerably, and he finds it appropriate to return to the couch, placing a tentative hand on your thigh. “Right, were you really that drunk? You got my name right, but it seems that you’ve forgotten that the only name you called me last night was sex god…”
His plush lips meet the ends of your earlobe, and you squeal at the strange sensation.
You’ve had sex with this man and you can’t even remember it? Furthermore how can a peasant like you be in contact with a celebrity? What on earth happened last night? Shouldn’t you be calling the police or panicking more? Where’s the pepper spray and sharp knives where you need them? You can’t even find it in you to find a sharp weapon at your once cherished-idol, who’s apparently unfazed and drinking in your body like he has a taste of it every night.
“What’s the date?” you push him away, looking around for any signs of where you are and how you ended up here.
“It’s the first day of spring,” Seokjin says easily, stretching out on the couch. “I wonder when the cherry blossoms will bloom. Should we have a picnic with Bogum?”
“Where’s my phone, I can’t find my phone!”
Seokjin doesn’t bat an eye as he digs through the couch, pulling something from under him. He waves it in front of your face. “That’s not my phone,” you deadpan.
“Okay I guess you were actually that drunk,” Seokjin rolls his eyes, forcing the large piece of plastic and metal on your palm. “When you went to the bathroom last night you dropped your old phone in the toilet. We picked up a new one on the way to the next bar. Good thing the new Samsung dropped last month!”
Since when are phones this large? You carry the strange weight in your hands, confused as to why Seokjin thinks this is your phone. You own a beat up 2G that barely gets any reception in the school basement. But when you turn it on, the screen recognizes your face immediately and unlocks. Wow, since when do cell phones do face recognition?
A selfie of you and Seokjin appears on the homescreen, looking totally happy.
Is that you?
No longer do you have acne lining your brows, or uneven skin texture. Your smile is high and prominent. Your visage is clean and done with minimal makeup, highlighting your beauty.
The date flickers on the top of the screen. March 20th, 2021: 7:42AM.
You scream again. Seokjin screams again for the heck of it.
“How did this happen!” you shriek, dropping your phone to step up to the window. You bask in your reflection, mildly impressed and even more so afraid of what’s in front of you. Your body has filled out like an adult, and considering it’s ten years into the future, other things have filled out as well. Experimentally, your hands go out to your chest, squeezing. Yep, those knockers were not there the last time you checked.
“Well, you came back from work completely drained from a shoot and I just finished filming my Everyday Skincare Routine video with Vogue,” Seokjin comes up to you, blanket tied around his waist like a long towel. “We met at our usual bar and do what we usually do when we’re both stressed: bang it out.”
You watch as Seokjin’s hands snake around your slick silk, hugging you from behind like it’s second nature. “Is this a dream?” you ask yourself, because it’s not unlikely that you’ve had a sex dream with Seokjin and this is the aftermath dream.
“Nope,” you yelp when Seokjin pinches your butt, hard. It stings. “This is real life, baby.”
“Are we dating?”
You feel Seokjin’s grip tense, and he shoves your innocent question away with a coarse laugh. “You know both you and me don’t do serious relationships. It’s why we work so well together, you know that.”
“Right,” you reply softly. That doesn’t sound like you at all, and it scares you considerably.
“So, I gotta go,” you panic when he lets go and starts searching around for his clothes. Your face heats up at Seokjin’s perky ass staring back at you, and your eyes dart to a random spot in the corner. “I got a green meeting with Ellen, and lord knows I don’t wanna face her wrath if I’m late.”
In seconds he’s fully clothed in a plain shirt and jeans, pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Call me beep me, if you wanna reach me,” he sings, throwing a wave over his shoulder as he leaves you in the large apartment.
The door slams with a hard smack and that’s when you collapse on the couch that feels foreign and strange, breaking into tears.
The next time you wake up, it’s the next day. It’s a glaringly bright Sunday and for whatever reason you’re still in this aged-up body. Maybe time travel makes the body really tired. This isn’t a dream. You panic for the second time, walking back and forth around the loft that’s apparently yours. It seems like it’s yours, because the bills that linger on the coffee table have your name and the pictures in the one bedroom are of you and your family.
But the refrigerator in the nook is digital and has fancy ice settings, something you could never imagine owning. Your closet is filled with brand named suits, and with every designer label you pass you mentally rack up the total of just one section. It’s enough to pay for your college tuition if your first choice accepts you.
Wait. You’re apparently twenty-seven, college is long gone.
Lying in your bed feels better, surrounded by familiar pictures of your cousins and family. Your favorite snacks are tucked with care in your nightstand, and it makes you feel a tiny bit better knowing that your favorite chocolate and chips will never change.
What happened in the past ten years? Why don’t you remember anything and are you entirely sure this isn’t some strange fever dream?
Time ticks slowly as you spend the afternoon, glued to your phone. It’s a 25 Note+ and it’s filled with multiple doohickeys and settings that make you feel technologically inept. You never thought you were bad with technology, but clearly these phones have a learning curve attached to them.
You try to call your family, but according to the voicemail left they’re on a Disney cruise that you paid for. Your heart aches at the excited voice of your parents. Why are they on a vacation without you?
The next thing you aim for is finding Jimin’s contact. According to Google Maps, you’re not far from your hometown and you know that Jimin’s always wanted to move to the city so he must be nearby. To your chagrin, his name isn’t on your contact list. Strange, he’s always number two on speed dial.
Clicking on the internet browser, you go to the online Whitepages and search up Park Jimin. There may be a million ones, but maybe you could get a lead. When a picture and an address show up easily with one swipe, you scoff. The internet has no room for privacy ten years later, huh?
The most casual thing you own in your closet is a Free People dress, reaching mid-calf with flowing bell sleeves. Heck, you couldn’t even find a single pair of jeans. You don’t care however, as you swipe your keys from the counter (you gape, you own a Tesla?) and race down to the parking garage.
Jimin’s apartment is on the other side of the city. It’s strange, transitioning from high rises and shiny windows to quaint brick walls and lived-in patio spaces. You feel like it’s a race against time as you make it all the way to his room, knocking feverishly on the mahogany red door.
“What? Who is it?” it’s clear that his room is cheap, the walls thin as you hear his voice shuffle throughout the room. Why are you shaking? It’s just your best friend.
The door swings open and you and Jimin drink each other in. His baby fat has melted from his cheeks, revealing a handsome and charming jawline. His hair is no longer a natural black, but has been dyed to a sandy blond that suits his tan. His eyes, wide in surprise, are still a soft brown but not as bright as when he was seventeen.
“Jimin,” your third round of tears hits you like a truck at the sight of your best friend, and you immediately run into his arms.
But he doesn’t hug you back immediately. In fact, he doesn’t know what to do at all. Your name rolls off his lips like he’s seen a ghost.
You pull away, as if you are burned. You flinch at the way Jimin regards you. “Is something wrong?”
“I don’t know,” he looks at you, crossing his arms, “I don’t know what to feel when your old best friend suddenly shows up at your doorstep after ten years.”
What?
“Why would I do that?” you whisper, bracing your hand against the doorframe to steady yourself.
“Well, after graduation you chose a college at the last minute. Decided to go to a prestigious fashion university in Europe. Shacked it up with some British guys and well, forgot about your past but I guess I can’t blame you.”
“But I couldn’t have left you,” you know you’re not even talking to Jimin, but in fact scolding yourself for being so stupid these past ten years. “I was crying for you that night at prom. All I wanted was for you to be there and hold me!”
That strikes a cord. Jimin pops his head into the hallway, looking back and forth to see if anyone is watching. He sighs when your tears turn into sobs, shaking your form. “Come in,” he mutters, ushering you inside.
Jimin’s apartment feels more like home than your apartment does. Cosy and warm with the scent of jasmine brewing on the stove. The pour of tea soothes you slightly as you relax on the worn leather couch.
Jimin hands you a mug, sitting opposite you against the rickety living room table. “Are you okay?” he asks, showing genuine concern for the first time.
“I’m,” you roll the muddy liquid in your grasp, watching the tea leaves tumble. “I just came back from the hospital, actually. Hit my head drinking last night and I’m suffering from memory loss,” you clutch your head for good measure, feigning injury.
“Memory loss?” he gapes, unable to see through your lie.
“Yeah uh,” you wince, “almost ten years of memory loss.”
Jimin isn’t a man who thinks ahead, preferring to live in the moment. You figure he’s not going to question your excuse. Your former best friend nearly drops his tea in the process, hot drops burning his hand. He hisses, placing the plain mug on the table as he goes to his shelves, pulling out your class yearbook.
“Ten years,” he shakes his head, looking like he’s just stepped into a Korean drama. “Is that even possible?”
“Must be,” you sigh, not wanting to delve into the details of how you ended up in the future, “the first thing I did when I woke up was scream my head off. Then I woke up later and the first person I called were my parents who didn’t pick up, and then I wanted to call you but,” you squeeze the cup in your hands, “I couldn’t find your contact so I searched you up.”
“Should we call the hospital or something? Maybe you shouldn’t be walking around like this.”
“Don’t worry, they said the memory loss is only temporary,” you force a smile, knocking your head lightly with the heel of your palm, “I just gotta y’know, catch up a little bit. I thought you could help.”
Jimin is patient, albeit a little nervous, watching carefully as your eyes glaze emptily over the old yearbook. You’re unfazed at the familiar faces and events that are described to you in detail, unable to recall what happened during the events that followed graduation. There’s barely any pictures of you, so it doesn’t help when he tries to explain as much as he can.
You stop him at the sports section, pointing a finger at Jungkook being carried by his fellow teammates during the lacrosse championships. “What happened to Jungkook?”
Jimin shrugged, “Blew his sports scholarship,” your eyebrows float to the top of your forehead, appalled that your former love would do such a thing, “decided to pursue his passion and went to an art school for a degree in photography.”
So much has changed in the past ten years.
“Hey, can you please stop crying?”
“I’m sorry,” you warble, wiping at your sleeve as if the fabric didn’t cost hundreds of dollars, “I must be making you so uncomfortable by barging in. I’ll get out of your life—”
“No, not that. I just don’t like seeing you cry,” Jimin sighs, squeezing your knee, “of course I was upset when you suddenly upped and left town to study in another continent. But I was still happy for you. On the internet you seemed tons happier since highschool.”
“I can say that’s no longer the case,” you mutter sadly, taking a long drag of your tea. The burn flows down your throat, digging you to reality, “I guess I just woke up and wasn’t prepared to be the person I ended up being.”
“Well, what can your former best friend do to make it better?”
Your eyes widen at Jimin’s uneasy stare, as if he’s wondering whether he said the right thing or not.
“Um,” you bite your lip, “will you go shopping with me? I realized I don’t own any sweatpants or sneakers and I would really like to wear something comfortable right now,” you look despondently on your uncomfortable dress, swinging around the sleeves that seem to snag onto everything.
“Okay,” he nods easily, “will you also buy me new sweatpants and sneakers? And dinner? I really want a New York Strip.”
“What?” you furrow your brows, “can I afford that?”
He chuckles to himself, pulling you up and wiping the tears on your face with a tissue from his pocket. You don’t even care to ask whether the tissue is clean, only focusing on the tender gesture that you’ve missed so much.
“Honey, you’re one of the co-editors of Ego. I’m sure a couple pairs of sweatpants and steak will barely make a dent in your bank account.”
You’re flabbergasted. Ego? The fashion magazine that’s on billboards and commercials? That Ego?
After a couple checks through your bank account, and a triple check with a phone call and trip to the ATM, you’re sure the money is yours. It scares you, but also comforts you knowing that you’ve always been able to make it big.
You barely bat an eye as Jimin tugs you around the city with a familiarity that has you reeling. You struggle to remember the streets you pass and the signs that indicate what part of town you’re in, all whilst Jimin basks in the fruits of your labor. You don’t give a shit, obviously. It makes you happy seeing Jimin slowly melt and grow more comfortable throughout the day.
This is the kind of life you envisioned. One where comfort isn’t discarded for luxury, where the two cultures can marry. Jimin busts a gut when he sees you angrily shove your Free People dress deep in your shopping bags in favor of a black Adidas tracksuit that makes you feel like a soccer mom. Of course, he doesn’t know why you’re so aggressive with all your luxurious items, heck you even make him drive your Tesla, but nevertheless each passing hour brightens you up considerably.
When you two arrive at a fancy steakhouse with a dress code, the manager doesn’t hesitate to chide you and suggest the Applebee’s down the street.
You retort back that you’re an editor of Ego, and in seconds you’d have this restaurant swarmed with bad reviews. You know nothing about culinary review but you’re sure the manager doesn’t know that, and no arguments are placed after that.
The evening puts you in higher spirits, and you’re almost convinced that you’re a successful twenty-something catching up with your former best friend. You’ve always been mature for your age, high school can do that to a person, and it makes it vastly easier to keep up with the new decade.
“So,” you help Jimin get his bags up into his apartment. A little part of it feels like a bribe as you carry all the name brands on your arms, but you chalk it up to being compensation for the last ten years, “who are the people you hang out with now? Anyone I know?”
“Well, Taehyung sometimes drops by if he’s free. He’s traveling the world now, he actually works with you,” Jimin provides the information smoothly, “only he works in the international business column. But surprisingly, the person I hang out the most with is—”
“Jungkook.”
Standing face-to-face with your old high school sweetheart disarms you, and you’re sorely reminded that just you’re a seventeen-year-old in a twenty-seven-year-old’s body.
Jungkook looks tired, and he rubs his eyes a bit as if to make sure he isn’t dreaming. You in the flesh, looking purposeful and confident as you hold three bags on each arm, each piece probably costing more than his rent. He’s filled out, what once was lean muscle and minor definition has turned into full muscle mass hidden beneath a large t-shirt and sweatpants that are two sizes too big. His face is still sweet-looking and baby-like, but his hair is overgrown and waving in front of his eyes without a care in the world.
“Did I mention we’re neighbors?” you can practically hear the wince in Jimin’s voice, probably regretting that he hid that chunk of information from you.
Jungkook tastes his name on your lips, and it sounds foriegn and strange coming from the both of you. “Good to see you,” he says, voice low.
You barely formulate a response, replying with an equally nervous “right back at ya” and then you two resume staring at each other. While Jungkook hasn’t seen you in the last ten years, you saw him yesterday. Yesterday, where you started the day all peachy keen and it spiraled downhill shortly after. It’s jarring, knowing that your body doesn’t fit your conscience.
“Well I uh,” Jungkook lifts his indicator to leave, a large garbage bag, “bye.”
Jungkook shuffles out of the small hallway, and you get a whiff of his scent. It’s still the same, fabric softener mixed with his own musk.
“I,” you start off slow, “maybe I should go talk to him?”
“No,” he warns. “You and Jungkook are completely different people now, he’s just gonna think you’re pitying him if you go up and talk to him out of the blue.”
“But we’ve always been different people.”
“You really think that?” Jimin shakes his head, “I know what happened at prom was rough but, I really didn’t think much of your relationship with Jungkook before that. It seemed like you were pretty compatible—”
“Up until the point he was kissing Jennie in matching flowers on the balcony like some kind of romance film?” you scoff, crossing your arms, “right. Super compatible.”
Jimin sighs, as if he’s chastising a teenager. “Prom happened ten years ago, don’t act like it happened yesterday. People change.”
You frown, because in your mind it did happen yesterday.
Sleeping last night was hell. It’s one thing to be completely zonked out of your mind and unsure if you’re in a dream or weird coma, but knowing that you’re going to be stuck here for awhile is painful. Your loft is too big for your tiny body, your mattress cold and empty with just you in it. Without your parents to call and you feeling wholly insecure about your rekindling with Jimin, the only person you can really call is… Seokjin.
And you really don’t want a repeat of your first night.
So you suck it up, spend your waking hours in your office and quickly learning your tasks for work. You don’t even know what time you’re supposed to clock in, but from a sticky note attached to your MacBook it seems that you have a creative meeting at 10AM. You allow yourself two hours of sleep before you get moving.
The one exciting thing about your morning is that your outfit choices are virtually limitless. You feel like Cher in Clueless, all your outfits color-coordinated and organized by season. You pick out a springy Chanel number, a pale pink tweed skirt suit that has you feeling equally parts cute and an independent working woman. You even make time to buy yourself a coffee, because that’s what adults do right?
Your office is gorgeous. Also located in the upper part of the city, the glass desk and high windows fit right in. You have an ideas board filled with various designs, fabrics and models to choose from. There’s a little frilly notebook straight out of the 2000s, all filled with phone numbers and special contacts all at your disposal. You even have your own cold press coffee machine complete with a mini-fridge.
“You’re never this early, nervous for the meeting?”
You squeal, nearly dropping your coffee as you take a tour around your office. You fight the urge to gape and point accusingly at the woman standing at your door.
“Jennie?”
“In the flesh,” she gives you a cool smirk, holding her arms out for a hug. It really throws you for a loop, and you’re left stricken in your spot as Jennie closes the gap and squeezes the life out of you. Her grey pinstripe pantsuit crumples against your softer fabric. “You know you can’t get rid of me that easily.”
“Jennie and you are practically besties,” Jimin sounds a little jealous while saying that, forcing you to scroll through your Instagram page to see the countless selfies of you and your high school rival, “I mean, at least that’s what the internet says. Went to college in Europe together and everything.”
So it’s true. You awkwardly pat Jennie on the back, and she doesn’t seem to mind when she pulls away and tells you to meet upstairs. You mindlessly follow after her to the conference room, wishing a kind good morning to everyone that greets you.
Once you make it upstairs, you flinch at the loud screech of your voice. “My favorite editor!” someone in a plaid red suit runs up to you and throws an arm around your shoulders. The editor-in-chief Jung Hoseok smiles brightly at you, leading you to a seat at the head of the table right next to him. You’re cosy with the editor-in-chief? This is crazy!
“G-good morning Mr. Jung,” you stutter, trying to remain cool.
“Did something happen to you this weekend?” Hoseok jests, pinching your cheek like a long lost sister. “You always call me Hobi.”
“Oh,” you force a giggle, “you don’t even know how crazy this weekend was.”
Hoseok simply laughs and gets himself settled for the meeting.
“I’m so jealous,” Jennie sing-songs, a manicured finger trailing over the back of your chair, “only the best of the best can sit next to the big boss.”
The comment has you bristling. Are you really friends? Giving her a tight smile, she saunters to another corner of the meeting. On your section of the table is your itinerary and iPad, ready for note-taking.
“One thing that we do at Ego is consistency,” Hoseok pulls up a projection of this year’s editions, all carbon copies of the same cover. “And while that is admirable, I want to put my top editors to the test and come up with the theme for next month’s issue.”
Hoseok sends you yet another pearly white smile, and due to the sheer closeness you know that secret smile is only reserved for you. That makes you squirm in your seat, already feeling the pressure building in the pit of your stomach.
“Take two days off this week to plan. Work out the days you’ll be out of the office with HR, those days you’ll be working in the city, finding ideas and inspiration for the issue. Remember, think outside the box!” Hoseok does a little fist pump, cutting through the air like his life depends on it.
The whole lot of the group continues to stare at Hoseok, waiting for his next instructions. Then, the adults begin to panic, similar to a high school class that’s been told they have a pop quiz that’s worth half their grade. You sigh internally, you suppose high school never ends.
“C’mon,” Hoseok urges, flailing his arms around, “get out there! Make moves, make money!”
But the only moves you’ve made since 2PM are fleeting trips to the bathroom.
Obviously you don’t have any memory of your degree or experience, so instead of feeling like an editor you feel more like a teenager playing dress-up. You couldn’t even sneakily ask Jennie for help because she deadpanned: “I’m not sharing any secrets, doll.” It seems that being backhandedly mean is a theme in your relationship, so after that you rolled your eyes and locked your door. Thankfully you packed a pair of sweatpants so you can comfortably lie down on the floor while you spread out your workspace. Magazines littered the hardwood, all sultry and sexy looking models staring back at you with the same half-lidded stare and overdone makeup.
It makes you cringe, thinking back to the other day when you were jealous of these people. Now that you have this life, thriving and full of beauty, is that the only thing you want to show to your audience? How can they possibly relate to models who make triple their salary? What about the authenticity? The ingenuity?
And that’s when it hits you.
Scrambling to your computer, you search up a photographer that you know will be completely and utterly transparent.
My Time Studios: Capturing the raw moment.
You know exactly what you want for next month’s issue.
Jungkook does not expect to see you through the peephole of his apartment, fiddling with the threads of your clothes and eyes glued to the ground. He mutters a curse under his breath, jamming his fingers between the metal double lock to swing his head out. He doesn’t even bother to open up all the way, just enough to stick his face out.
“Jungkook, hi!” he still can’t believe you’re around. Jungkook winces at your tone, high and sounding like a teenager. He thought by now you’d be traveling the world, climbing to bigger and better things. Then again, the upper part of the city is certainly an upgrade. He just thought you’d want to be far, far away from him. “I b-brought you McDonalds.”
You hold up a greasy bag of fast food, and his nose immediately responds to the smell of fresh fries and a quarter pounder (with cheese, of course.) It annoys him that you still know his weakness, but he isn’t going to go that easily.
“Why are you here?” he asks a little too sharply, hands gripping the doorknob.
“I wanted to offer you a job,” you get straight to the point, as if you know your time at his doorstep is limited.
He scoffs, “You? Want to put my photos on Ego? You know my business extends to weddings and the occasional Bar Mitzvah. Why would you want me?”
You frown, crossing your arms. He looks down at your attire, a nicely fitted suit on top, but the skirt is replaced with grey sweatpants. Comical, really. “I’ve always loved your photos,” you admit to him, “you know that. And they’ve gotten so much better since then.”
The furrow between Jungkook’s brows softens a fraction, smoothed by the honesty in your voice. You’re right, you always made sure to tell Jungkook how much you loved his other talents. Namely, the photography, and sometimes his singing. He can still remember how easily you slept in his arms watching Sky City for hours, all at the melody of your favorite song. While his teachers and classmates loved to venerate his position on the team and his ability to garner attention, you encouraged him to work on the things that mattered to him the most, even in secret.
Nevertheless, that was ten years ago.
“I don’t need your charity,” he spits, “Jimin might be able to be bought by some designer clothes and an eighty dollar steak, but not me.”
The pain in your gaze is glaringly evident, and you don’t even try to hide that you’re upset as the paper bag falls against your lap. If there’s one thing Jungkook knows he’s good at, is hurting your feelings.
“You think this is charity?” you whisper, hurt delicately lacing your voice.
“Are you kidding? Last month you got Xu Minghao to photograph your spread for Ego. He’s photographed the damn Queen of England,” if you notice that he’s babbling about reading your magazine, you don’t show it in your face, “the point is, I don’t understand why you’re trying to come into my life again. I don’t want to get involved in your fancy dinner galas or anyone else from high school. So please, just go back to your picture perfect life.”
And without another qualm he slams the door in your face, effectively shutting you out. It doesn’t feel as good as he wants it to feel, clearly. He feels even shitter than before. His eyes glaze over to his rickety coffee table, cluttered with bills and credit card payments that should’ve been dealt with a long time ago.
He slugs himself over to his couch, throwing his body over the couch that’s way too short. His legs dangle in mid-air, but it doesn’t stop him from throwing an arm over his eyes to block out the sunset. The bills can wait a little longer. Seeing you was too draining.
The nap turns into a full-fledged night’s sleep, and by the time he wakes up the sky is dark and it’s the start of a new day. 12:08, the screen of his iPhone confirms. Feeling even crustier and worse than before, his stomach decides to harden the blow and go straight for the gut. He’s sorely reminded of the food you offered him hours ago.
Quickly pulling on a large denim jacket, he grabs his keys and heads for the 7-Eleven down the park. Nothing like a frozen pizza to fill the gut, fast and cheap. Despite the fact that it’s dark and late, there're still some stray people in the park. A few homeless, some high school stoners who are meeting in secret, and you are typing away on your MacBook.
Wait, what?
You’re sitting on a bench in the park, typing away without a care in the world. Shoving soggy fries that he earlier refused in your mouth, you let a couple stray potatoes hang from your lips as your eyes succumb to the screen. You look positively silly, still in a pink blazer and baggy sweatpants.
He must have been staring a little too long, because soon enough you turn your head, gasping at his figure. You quickly avert your eyes, but don’t make any move to leave the park. That interests him further.
Shamelessly, he calls your name. His legs get to you in an instant, towering over your tiny figure.
“What are you doing here?”
“Uh, I’m waiting for Jimin,” your eyes flicker to your open laptop, “and working.”
At least one of those reasons is a lie. Last time he checked, Jimin always sleeps over at Yoongi’s house on this day. He knows it’s a lie, and you know he knows it’s a lie, but neither of you make the effort to correct it.
“And what could you possibly be working on at 12AM?”
“Finding a photographer,” you hunch over your laptop, avoiding eye contact. “I don’t have much time and none of my usual contacts are good enough. This project is… personal.”
It makes him want to ask further, he can’t lie and say he isn’t intrigued in the kind of vision you’re going for in your next issue. “But why can’t you work at home?”
“Don’t wanna go,” you reply casually, “it makes me feel lonely.”
Lonely? You feel lonely? He runs a hand through his hair, frustrated at the display of nonchalance. Back in high school he always encouraged you to feel confident, but not like this. “Hey, it’s nice that you feel comfortable enough to chill in the park at 12AM, but it’s really dumb. You’re lucky you haven’t gotten mugged from all that money you’re carrying around!” he gestures to your fancy clothes and laptop, “and if you feel so lonely, call up one of your rich friends I’m sure they’ll—”
“Oh my god, Jungkook,” you slam your laptop shut, darkening the two of you. “I thought you wanted me to go back to my ‘picture perfect life’, so why do you care?” you get up in his face, standing on the bench so you’re nearly eye-to-eye, “why don’t you pester those kids over there? Tell them to drink their milk and go home,” you scoff, shoving your stuff in your bag. You don’t spare him another glance as you stalk off in the other direction.
He groans, unable to untangle himself from the mess, “Where are you going?”
“To a park where you’re not in!”
Despite the exchange for sweatpants, you’re still wearing shoes not fit for walking. They’re little white pumps, not too tall but not remarkably comfy either. However, that doesn’t deter you from getting the heck out of there, seemingly walking in any possible direction to get away from Jungkook.
“You’re being ridiculous,” he chastises once his hand clasps around your hand, pulling you around.
There’s a little resistance, as you try to hide your face to no avail. Jungkook fumbles a little, not thinking you’d be crying. But tiny, shy tears are pooling around your eyes, looking flustered at your display of emotion.
“God,” you mutter to yourself, “I feel like such a kid.”
That strikes a chord in the twenty-something man. The last time he saw you in the flesh was when you were both kids. Young, unbridled, and stupid. Well, only Jungkook was the stupid one.
“Do you want me to take you home?” Jungkook offers, feeling guilty about his roughness.
You shake your head. “No, I told you I don’t want to.”
“Can I at least call you a cab? Or a friend so you won’t get lonely?”
“Jungkook, if I had that option would you think I’d be here right now?” he’s trying, he really is. But you’re equally as miffed about this whole situation and at a loss. The two of you engage in a staring contest. It only takes a few seconds for you to crumble, and he frowns when you shiver in your thin blazer.
Instantly, he rips off his jacket, pulling it over your body. It’s huge on you, swallowing your body and hopefully containing some of his residual heat.
And finally, he relents. “If you want, I’ll come over and stay until you fall asleep.”
“Okay,” your eyes widen in instant agreement, pulling something out of your pocket. “Will you drive?”
His eyes widen at the shiny, minimalistic car key. Your sudden one-eighty has him second guessing his decision. “You drive a Tesla?” he gapes, taking your key like he’s holding the Hope Diamond.
You got your license in February. One month ago, and only because the instructor felt pity on you since it was your second time retaking it. The fancy car terrifies you, and you’re sure Jungkook has much more experience driving (over ten years worth.)
You shrug, “Not very good at driving. Haven’t had much practice.”
“Um, the car drives itself?”
“It does?” you tilt your head, dazed, “wow, technology is amazing.”
He shakes his head, putting a hand on your back so you can lead the way. You must be tired, because it seems like your head isn’t entirely there anymore. He takes charge, buckles you in and takes a couple minutes to fumble with the car settings. Nevertheless the drive home is smooth (and it takes all of Jungkook’s willpower to not squeal in excitement when the Tesla does in fact, drive itself.)
You lead him inside your loft like a tiny zombie, throwing your shoes to one corner and throwing your jacket on the kitchen table.
“Must be hungry,” you can’t even form complete sentences, “there’s food in the fridge, Kook. Sorry if it’s not to your taste.”
Shuffling away to your room, Jungkook is left to gawk at your apartment. The baseboards of your walls are crusted in pretty pearl designs, swirling around the whole expanse. There’s a television that stretches the wall of the little living room, with a sound and video game system he’s only seen in movies. Your tables are meters and meters of granite, and he wonders how the floor of your apartment can hold all this weight.
But he supposes it’s because there’s nothing much to hold. No pictures line the walls, only vague looking art to fill up blank space. There’s no touch of warmth despite the heating system under the floor that relaxes his toes. For such a big home, he can only imagine how small you must feel in it.
Your fridge is just as empty, decorated with a couple of sad-looking salads and some protein shakes. He sighs, grabbing two chicken salads and a banana shake and bringing it to your coffee table. It’s a little two quiet for his liking, so he turns on the television real low just to make the room feel a bit fuller.
Halfway through one salad he realizes he probably should’ve made you eat as well. Even though these salads aren’t remotely filling, they’re much healthier than some soggy fries. A piece of limp lettuce hangs from Jungkook’s mouth, suddenly feeling guilty for soaking up all of your amenities without inviting you. After all, it is your house. Wiping some sauce from his lips he dusts off his pants, stuffing his hands in his pockets as he makes his way to your room.
Calling your name, the only reply is the whir of the heater. He only cracks the door a tad, but he sees you slumped against the edge of the bed, bare feet hanging from the end. You barely made it, your clothes strewn across the floor, an oversized t-shirt ruched across your barely covered thighs. Without a thought he quickly scrambles to move you closer to your pillows, and then wraps your body in your plush duvet. You’re out like a light.
You’re sleeping, so Jungkook should go home. That’s what you two agreed to. He goes back to his late dinner (early breakfast?) mindlessly listening to an infomercial on rare dollar coins. He’ll leave after he eats.
He didn’t leave.
Jungkook awakes to a scream, your shrill voice echoing all the way down the hallway into your living room. It takes a second for him to register the empty white walls and the fact that he’s not in his apartment, but eventually it goes back to the point that you’re in distress. He jolts, scrambling off the couch to run to your bedroom.
“What is it?” he exhales into your doorframe, socks sliding.
Your hair is in a disarray, shirt rumpled and face scrunched in pain. You shove your phone in his face. “Since when did Iron Man die!” you cry, genuinely horrified at whatever entertainment article you’re reading.
He slumps against the wall, running a hand over his dry face. “Since Endgame, obviously. That was literally two years ago. Is that why you woke me up?”
“I-I’m sorry! I didn’t know!”
“Have you been living under a rock or something?”
“Or something,” you frown, throwing your phone across your bed, “I guess I should go get ready for work.”
Jungkook watches as you shamelessly hop off your bed, uncaring that your shirt has ridden up, revealing the full expanse of your thighs and then some. You pull out a pair of sweats from a shopping bag, nicking off the tag to put them on your legs.
“Do you have work?” you ask casually.
“Uh, no,” Jungkook coughs, crossing his arms. It’s been awhile since he’s had a solid gig. Two whole weeks have been spent doing more personal work which was fine, but at the same time his bank account could beg to differ. “I’m off today.”
“Oh, alright,” you shrug, “do you know where I can buy a good camera?”
“Why?”
“Gonna go take pictures,” you snatch your wallet and keys from your bedside, stuffing it in a fanny pack. He watches you curiously as you zip your bag shut, muttering something about how you can’t believe that fanny packs are back in style. Swinging the strap over your back, you brush past him. “You can stay if you want,” you add pointedly, before you slip into the bathroom.
Jungkook doesn’t understand as to why he’s slipping into sensory overload. The house is a shell of itself and the antithesis of a rainbow. Maybe it’s the fact that he woke up ten minutes ago or how you look completely peaceful and want to leave as soon as you wake up. Or how shocked you were that Iron Man has passed and you’ve completely missed Phase 3. Or that you’re not even thinking about breakfast or not wishing him a farewell, practically throwing him into your apartment like a second home.
He wobbles back to the couch, trying to look as nonchalant as possible as he drapes the fuzzy blankets over his body. He flips through the channels, before finally settling on an old episode of Sky City.
When you walk out into the living room, you scrunch your face in pain when you make eye contact with Kim Seokjin’s on screen appearance. Oh, how things change. Jungkook knew how much you loved watching Sky City, indulging in the protagonist's attractiveness.
“Y’know,” Jungkook says over his shoulder, “if you leave me here, I could steal whatever I want.”
“Go ahead,” you reply flippantly, already slipping on your sneakers. “There’s nothing of value here.”
What is wrong with you?
“Wait!” Jungkook throws all his pride at the window, unable to conceal his worry for you. Half your body is out the doorway, and you’re looking at him like he’s grown a second head. His voice takes up the entirety of the room, startling you. “I need to come with you,” he finally settles on, looking serious. “You’re going to buy the wrong camera.”
“Okay,” you concede immediately, throwing the keys on the couch, “you drive.”
Jungkook must know something’s wrong with you.
You don’t know how to act around him. Your heart is hurt and your body is a decade older than it was a week ago and everything in your life and mind is a complete wreck. It still aches to look at him, despite the fact that you want him around, all the time. You wish you could know a little more about your adult life, you feel like a proverbial Bambi sitting in a car worth more than your childhood home. It’s a wobbly, shaky road to adulthood, and you’re not having it.
Jungkook sleeping over is the last thing you thought would happen last night. You didn’t even think he’d relent to coming to your house, since he was pretty hellbent on not being your photographer.
But now he’s driving your Tesla again, after you instructed him to park the car where you parked it last time. That way, you can go back to the playground you were in the night before. You have a vision for the issue and it starts there. Fiddling around with the expensive camera Jungkook picked out, you feel his gaze burning into your shoulder.
“Am I doing something wrong?” you ask archly, “I read the manual and everything. Or are you just being a perfectionist again?”
“What’s wrong with being a perfectionist?” Jungkook shoots back, putting the car in park. As soon as the car stills in the parking lot, he grabs the camera from your grasp like a petulant child. “I’m just trying to make sure you don’t break it. Face it, you’re terrible at technology.”
“Excuse me! I have a Samsung 25+ and a Tesla!”
“Yeah? So why did I catch you struggling to use your pay feature on your phone when we grabbed coffee?”
“It’s new,” you mutter under your breath. Everything is new to you.
With a growl you snatch back the camera, and Jungkook for once doesn’t act like a baby with a sharing complex and relents. Of course, Jungkook manages to calibrate the camera and figure out the color balance before you could. This only annoys you further, wondering why Jungkook is still sticking around after all this time.
“Alright,” you step out of the car, slinging the camera around your neck. “Thanks for driving me around, your apartment’s just down the street, right?” You dart your hand out, and Jungkook reluctantly hands over your key beeper. Maybe it’s because he seems to love the car so much, that he has a hard time giving it back. “I’ll see you around.”
“Wait,” is that his word of the day? Wait wait wait.
“What is it now, Jungkook?”
He’s never seen you so full of negative emotions. You’ve been waiting for him to tire of you all day, from your clipped replies and unease ever since you two stepped out of your apartment.
“Um,” he looks embarrassed, scratching the back of his head, “are you really going to take pictures? You always took really blurry pictures in high school.”
The mention of high school has you icy, gripping the matte black digital camera to hold your feelings at bay. “Yes, I’m going to go take pictures because the photographer I wanted so rudely rejected me,” you revel in the way he shrinks, probably regretful already. “So if you’ll excuse me, I have a deadline.”
He continues to follow you, all the way to the park. You make your way to a little garden, and start to take some test photos next to the little daisies that decorate the patch of dirt. You practically feel Jungkook breathing down your neck, feeling antsy everytime you click the shutter. Ignoring him is difficult, especially when he makes little noises of discomfort when you presumably do something wrong.
“Jungkook, are you going to say something?” you seethe, not caring that the heavy camera strains your neck when it falls against your chest, “or are you just going to make me wait.”
Jungkook’s face is scrunched up, and finally he blurts, “I’m sorry.”
“Sorry for what?”
“For saying your life is picture perfect,” he sputters quickly, looking very sweaty. Jungkook always got sweaty when he did things a little too hard. Playing sports, thinking, campaigning on video games. “I—I didn’t mean it. I don’t know. I guess I was just upset at myself and I took it out on you.”
“Well why are you upset at yourself?”
“I’m upset because I—I don’t know, it’s complicated,” he plops down on the nearest bench, and while you follow him, you don’t let yourself sit next to him. If you do, you know your subconscious will want to wrap your arms around him and comfort him. That would probably be the worst possible action to perform. “I don’t really do the whole photoshoot thing. Like I said, I’m just doing some weddings and parties here and there. I shouldn’t have said those things about Jimin and how you’re only talking to us out of charity. It’s my fault for not considering how complicated your life could be too,” he looks down at the ground, shameful, “so if you still want me, I would really like to photograph for Ego. And I would also really like that camera back.”
Unable to resist, you reach over to give him a pat on the shoulder. “I forgive you,” you reply numbly, thinking he was going to apologize for something else. You suppose he’s forgotten about that fateful prom night, just like everyone else. “It’s actually not for Ego, at least not yet. My boss is pitting us against each other, the best idea wins the cover theme.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll win,” his face eventually breaks into a grin when you remove the camera from your body. “Come to daddy, baby,” he cooes, holding the shiny new camera in his hands like a newborn.
“Gross,” you twitch, although you’re feeling all the more relieved knowing Jungkook will now be taking the visual reins. “You haven’t had a chance to look at the contract made up, but being paid five-hundred okay?”
“Five-hundred a week?”
“No, per day,” you correct, “why wouldn’t I pay you just like I pay the others?”
Jungkook’s dark brows fly to his forehead. He practically chokes on his spit at the way you put Jungkook in high regard. A blush overtakes his visage, proud and pink as he rushes to get away from you.
“You don’t even know my concept,” you called after him, chasing the midday sun.
Jungkook is already in position, fitting the lens between two buildings. The afternoon sun looks like an egg yolk, melting between the clouds. “Well then is it?” he asks, bending down on one knee to get the perfect angle.
“Well, yesterday when I thought of the idea I just wanted to be reminded of how easy being a kid was,” you don’t even know if Jungkook’s listening properly, given the rapid click click clicks of the shutter and Jungkook constantly moving around to get as many shots as possible. “I realized that not everyone can relate to the models or the clothes we advertise on Ego. Why would I want to see people I actually admire? Like, my friend’s older brother. Or Jimin, president of the drama club. Or even Jungkook, captain of the lacrosse team.”
“So, nostalgia. The 2000s are back in style, I like it,” he replies simply, tilting the camera towards you, “pose for me.”
“What? Jungkook,” you frown, holding a hand over your face. He doesn’t relent, continuing to snap you in different angles.
“Oh! That was a nice one,” he turns the camera to reveal the screen of your furrowed brows, hand over your face, “looks super grunge. Totally a throwback look.”
“Jungkook, I don’t model. I’m just the one who throws the ideas.”
“Yeah, but. Wouldn’t it be cool if the readers of Ego could see the genius behind the paper and ink?” he gestures vaguely to your outfit, “and you’re wearing Fila. So that’s like, kind of designer?”
“I don’t know,” you hug yourself, “I’ll think about it, okay? Let’s focus.”
“Fine,” Jungkook stops buzzing around you, putting the camera down and following you as you walk back to your car. You don’t think you really need anymore park photos, and Jungkook seems to telepathically agree as well.
“We need to plan some outfits and some backgrounds. I’ve already arranged a meet up tomorrow in front of our old high school with a couple of models. The school is on a grade-wide trip, so we’ll even have access to the track and field. I was also thinking disposable film? We could scan those.”
“Alright, who are your models?”
“Oh, you know. Just friends from school. I wanted it to be as authentic as possible. Taehyung flew back from Hamburg last night, so he said he’ll come. Jimin, obviously.”
“Well you only had like, two friends in highschool.”
“And you,” you clip on with a frown, “so don’t dress like a potato sack tomorrow, okay?”
“I’m not modeling.”
“Well, I’m still looking for a celebrity model to tack onto so. Don’t look like a chump.” you stick out your hand, while Jungkook pouts at your outstretched limb. If he feels sore that you called him a chump, he doesn’t comment on it when he clasps his larger hand in yours. “Partners?”
“Partners.”
“Why didn’t you tell me your celebrity model was him?”
“I specifically told you not to dress like a paper bag. Why did you continue to do so!”
“You didn’t specify that your model was Kim Seokjin!”
The current conversation is hushed, hissed between large reflective light panels and a parked car that held all your rented equipment. Currently, Taehyung, Seokjin and Jimin are huddled on the bleachers of your old stomping grounds, laughing at whatever funny video Seokjin has pulled up. They’re all dressed in variants of the same sweatsuit, a combination of Taehyung’s choosing since he’s one of the many color coordinators at Ego.
But you haven’t started yet, and you would like to get some morning shots in before it gets any warmer. Jungkook is still petulant, pretending to buy time by balancing his tripod. He’s wearing his Birkenstocks, so old they’re definitely the same pair from highschool, and yet another black sweatsuit.
“Seokjin’s like a big, fat cheeseball,” you assure Jungkook, who’s actually shaking from being in the presence of a celebrity. “No reason to be nervous.”
“That man has literally been part of our Sitcom Sundays for three years,” he gripes, “of course I’m nervous!”
“Just go to the car. If you want to change I’m sure Taehyung’s brought something that fits you.”
“Well if they see me change they’re gonna see I’m trying too hard,” Jungkook pouts, he actually pouts.
“I can’t,” you turn around, your Miss Frizzle-esque solar system dress whirling around your waist. The stars twinkle, glittering into Jungkook’s eyes. “Jungkook, do whatever you want. But we need to start in ten! No, five! I’m not paying you to try on Balenciaga and Off-Brand!”
If Jungkook is shocked by your sudden snippiness or need to get things wrapped up, he doesn’t say anything to it. For once, he’s quiet about his needs and you’re thankful for it. Once he’s gone, you have a chance to breathe. It’s all wholly overwhelming to dive right into the job. Your brain is still in 2011 unfortunately.
“Babe, everything alright?”
Seokjin appears behind you, having ditched Jimin and Taehyung after he saw you and Jungkook argue. He smooths his hands over your biceps. You’re still unsure over the exact nature of your adult-self’s relationship, but it seems that sans sex you two are relatively close with each other.
“M’fine,” you mumble tiredly, trying not to stiffen under his hold. You suppose Jimin isn’t going to be the friend you confide into this lifetime. “I’m just nervous. We’re doing all this work and it can potentially go down the drain after this week. What if my idea’s stupid and we’re wasting time? Jennie texted me that her concept is going to be killer and now I’m scared this concept is too aesthetically soft and people don’t care about nostalgia anymore and I feel like simultaneously throwing up and crying—”
“Whoa whoa, who’s replaced my confident editor and where did she go?” Seokjin decidedly goes with the notion that you’re definitely not fine. He swings his neck back and forth, peering behind the bleachers and over the football field. “My confident editor would never talk bad of herself like this! She commanded a whole crew of fifty within seconds when she did the Kim Taeyeon shoot in Milan! She never cowers under a challenge, the challenge cowers to her!” and in his gallancy you no longer try to shy away, in fact you even giggle at his silly way of comforting you. “And most importantly, she’d never compare herself to a wench like Jennie.”
Seokjin doesn’t hesitate to swipe the moisture right under your waterline, making sure any traces of your crying are undetectable. “W-wait,” you sputter, “you mean, me and Jennie aren’t actually friends?”
He chuckles, pulling you into a hug. “Even now, you’re such a good actress.”
You let Seokjin continue to hold you as the pieces in your empty mind come together. If Jennie is truly not your friend and you two have been faking it all this time, how serious is it? And if so, are you the competitive type? You know for sure Jennie is, and will she stop at nothing to make sure she gets the spread?
This fear is combined with an equal amount of sadness. You were a little excited to have a lasting friend from college, but your mother always told you to never believe anything on the internet. You suppose those selfies of you and Jennie on your Instagram are nothing but a facade.
But at the very least Seokjin’s care for you isn’t fake, and you’re thankful that you have at least one friend in this life. If you didn’t do this time skip, would Seokjin remain your only friend? You try not to think too hard about it, “Thanks, Seokjin. I really appreciate you.”
“Will you appreciate me tonight then?” Seokjin makes a move to kiss your neck, and the moment is promptly ruined.
Shoving him away you say firmly, “Touch me like that again and I’ll rip your dick off in front of this whole crew.”
“I love it when you get feisty,” Seokjin melts, but salutes you like a drill sergeant as he runs back to the men on the bleachers.
It’s then you feel a presence looming over your shoulder. Tall, dark, and emanating. He’s changed, in favor of some fitted jeans and a plain white shirt, paired with black boots. Jungkook is behind you, glaring over your shoulder at Seokjin. So much for showing off your professionalism. Crap, how much of that did he hear?
“Jungkook, I–”
“Let’s start,” he mutters gruffly, stepping past you to get to the equipment.
You slap a hand over your face. It’s going to be a long day.
However, the hours following are probably one of the brightest hours of your life since you’ve appeared in your future-self’s body. At first Jimin was anxious at your invitation, despite being in the high school plays and being okay at public speaking, he didn’t know he’d have the potential to be a model. A couple test shots and some coaching from Taehyung, Jimin is a natural, his photogenic energy strong enough to compete toe-to-toe with Seokjin.
You also have to hand it to Taehyung, who has been running back and forth between modeling and choosing outfits for the boys. Jimin and you didn’t run in the same group as Taehyung back in high school, but time changes things and if given the opportunity, you would’ve loved to be friends with him back then.
By the time you are done for the day and you feel like all the possible shots have all ready been taken, you circle around the school. You previously went inside empty classrooms, posed in the cafeteria, even pretended to reenact your school rendition of RENT in the auditorium.
Everything is mostly packed up and put into the car by the time the sun is setting, and you just wanted to perfect this one shot.
The gymnasium looks a lot smaller than it did as a child. As a teenager, you constantly feared getting hit in the face by a stray wiffleball, or throwing up during the pacer test after the 100th lap. But now, it just looks like an old gym.
“It smells like sweaty balls in there,” Taehyung curses, adjusting the patterned button down by smoothing down his chest. He jabs a finger in the boys locker room, where Jimin comes out with another new outfit.
“I think the sandwich I left in senior year is still there,” Jimin adds, pulling the collar around his burgundy knitted sweater.
The back of the gym is decorated in balloons. Overnight you managed to build a balloon ring off of Pinterest, one of your proudest moments as you made Jungkook haul the rainbow colored arc and shove it into the trunk. Seokjin is sitting directly under the arc, decorating a letter corkboard. It’s one of those cork boards all the teachers display in class, often decorated with some witty quote or a basic “Welcome to Mr/Mrs/Miss _____’s Class!”
Jungkook is setting up the camera on a tripod, wanting to do it the old fashioned way. Aside from the freakout he had in the beginning when he realized he was photographing Kim Seokjin, he’s been quiet and strictly professional throughout the whole ordeal. It’s amazing to see this side of him, as he seamlessly transitions from shoot to shoot knowing exactly what he has in mind for each photograph. His direction is soft but impactful, and the boys have no problems following directions.
“Okay boys, everyone under the arc!”
Working like this is a rush you can’t even imagine. In high school the path you were in the process of choosing wasn’t clear cut up until this point, but now you know exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life.
Seokjin holds the finished corkboard in the middle, a proud Class of Ego in white block letters.
Jungkook only gets a few shots in before Seokjin bemoans, letting the corkboard fall in his lap.
“Guys, this picture’s gonna stink.”
Jungkook’s appalled, “Excuse me—”
“Because you two aren’t in it!” Taehyung agrees easily, “c’mon, JK. Put your camera on timer mode and let’s have all of us in it!”
A blush melts on Jungkook’s neck, all the way to the tips of his ears. “What? No, that’s silly Tae. I really don’t—agh!”
The three men are in a controlled frenzy, aiming to get their mission done. Seokjin rounds the camera and makes quick work of enabling a timer and a burst shot. Jimin pulls you by the waist, tugging you ungracefully to the center of the arc. Taehyung is doing a pretty good job of hauling your muscle hunk of a photographer, pressing his shoulders across yours.
And finally, Seokjin hands you the corkboard. “You should be holding it. After all, you’re the brains behind it!”
At first it feels awkward, squished between new friends and old friends. First loves and last loves. Despite his warm bicep pressing against you, Jungkook is akin to a sheet of cardboard, arm-to-arm and stiff as a board.
“Alright people, let’s move it!” Seokjin yells unnecessarily loud, the noise echoing throughout the high walls. “Last couple shots here, and we’re not re-doing it because I’m tired as hell! So look alive and pretend to like each other!”
The first click of the camera stuns all of you, akin to many terrible school photos where the flash disarms you and your face twists. But that click suddenly gets Jungkook into gear, and you feel him slide a hand over your shoulder, squeezing you toward him so you’re pressed against the side of his chest. He still smells like floral fabric softener, and that makes you smile.
And suddenly you feel like you’re seventeen again, surrounded with the people you care for the most.
“So, the tabloids are true huh?” Jimin smirks, waving a flimsy fry in your face.
“T-tabloids?” you sputter, dabbing the ketchup off your cheek. The greasy burger slips off your grip and onto your plate. Your expression says it all, it’s painfully innocent and genuinely confused as you attempt to swallow the cheese and lettuce as fast as possible.
The crew sans Seokjin is eating a very late dinner with you at the restaurant of their choice. They put it to a vote, while you desperately wanted some McDonalds everyone else voted for a more high end restaurant. After all, you’re paying.
“Ah, don’t try playing coy with us,” Taehyung jests, “the office talks.”
“Well, whatever you’ve heard isn’t true,” you huff, crossing your arms. “At least, not anymore.”
“What?” Taehyung bugs out, “I thought you loved your no strings attached relationship with Jinnie.”
“I guess I did,” you frown, deflating against the plush booth, “I don’t know. I don’t know what I liked back then.”
You resume eating your burger, trying to ignore the worried look Jimin sends you. He reaches over the table to press his thumb to the little 11s in your forehead, a product of stress. “Does your head still hurt?” he asks.
Jungkook’s chewing slows considerably. He’s been strangely quiet this evening, opting to order a handful of appetizers and gorging on every single edible thing on the table like a glutton. But at Jimin’s question he turns his head to look at you, “Why would your head still hurt?”
“She hit her head when she went out drinking with Seokjin last week,” Jimin supplies, “messed with her memory.”
“Chim,” you frown, gently shoving him off you, “I’m fine now. Pretty much caught up. Just reevaluating my life choices, okay?”
“How could Seokjin let that happen?” Jungkook asks, putting his fork down.
“He wasn’t even there,” you shake your head, trying to clear Seokjin’s name as fast as possible. After all, this lie is completely fabricated, a blanket to cover the magical properties your true nature being here has. “I’m fine, Jungkook. Don’t worry about me.”
He huffs, resuming his meal. “Wasn’t worried,” he disarms, reaching over the table to snatch a mozzarella stick.
You cover up your disgusted expression by wiping your chin with a soft blue napkin. Jungkook is really out here inhaling the whole table and being a bit of a jerk.
“Well,” Taehyung claps his hands together, regarding all of you with a closed-lipped smile stretched so wide you’re worried he’ll break. “This is nice. I can’t imagine a time where I’d be reunited with you three. It’s weird. But a good weird.”
“Ditto,” Jimin echoes, lifting his glass to clink with Taehyung’s. Throwing an arm over your shoulder he remarks, “could’ve never imagined my ‘ol best friend would’ve wanted to pursue fashion.”
“What?” you glower, pinching his thigh, “I love fashion! I spent months planning my Clueless Halloween costume and our summers cosplaying!”
“Right, Cher,” teased Jimin, “that yellow plaid suit that made you look like a bottle of mustard?”
“You little–”
Taehyung begins to laugh when you start to tickle Jimin in the sweet spots, causing Jimin to curl his leg around your ankle and pull you onto his lap for a hair pull. It’s all in fun and nothing hurts, but you’re so caught up in it you’re sure people are worried about your well-being. Even Jungkook is laughing, egging Jimin on while Taehyung weakly attempts to pull you away.
If you could rewrite the last ten years of your life, this moment would define the remake.
“Why are we here?”
“For research purposes.”
“Are you sure the actual purpose is because you don’t feel like working in the office?”
“Jungkook,” you groan, tired of his infinite amount of negativity. “This was our senior trip! Of course I want to get a couple shots in before my big presentation.”
“You’re risking my baby’s life,” Jungkook cradles the digital camera closer to his chest, swaddling it between its felt case. Ever since you purchased the camera, Jungkook has been unable to let it go. This adoption is both equal parts cute and strange, and you’re a little too scared to ask for it back.
“I promise, no big rides,” you roll your eyes, “your baby will be fine.”
The local amusement park is a fan-favorite amongst the city-goers, a reprieve from the hustle and a chance for you to spend your copious amounts of money on overpriced sugar and popcorn. The last time you went here was two weeks ago—in your mind. In Jungkook’s mind it was over ten years ago and he probably doesn’t even remember the time spent roaming the artificial floor and the infinite amount of bubbles that seem to eject from the air to add to the whimsical charm.
Jungkook isn’t even paying attention, citing it as an artist block because he’s going through sensory overload with the amount of stimuli in the crowd. Screaming teenagers wailing under him from a nearby rollercoaster, the smell of sticky caramel apples pumping through the diffuser stands, and the amount of gaudy color that decorates every single logo of the park.
He plops himself down on a nearby bench while you wait in line to get some food. It’s early in the morning and a weekday, so you figure this is the best time to get some photographs in without any passerbys. You figure Jungkook will get the hang of it once he has some food in his stomach.
“A funnel cake?” Jungkook is bewildered when you return with the confection in hand, “it’s ten A.M.”
You raise a brow, knowing how much Jungkook loves sweet foods. The funnel cake especially, he ate at least three when you went to your senior trip, one for every meal. But you’re an adult, or at least posing as one, and you shrug loftily, plucking a hot piece of fried dough from your plate. “Alright then,” you reply, “I’ll just eat the whole thing.”
Once the cake touches your tongue, you can’t help but make an exaggerated moan in pleasure. You can feel Jungkook squirming like an earthworm next to you, either from the scrumptious smell of funnel cake or the way you’re so enthusiastically eating it.
“W-wait,” Jungkook’s stomach growls at the perfect moment, “I want some. But I don’t want to get the camera dirty, pass me a napkin.”
“I can just feed it to you!” you quip innocently, immediately ripping off a piece and shoving it between Jungkook’s pink lips. You feel a little slick in the finger, saliva briefly coating your digits before you pull away. You swallow, feeling a familiar tingle in your tummy and a sickening heat low in your belly.
You fight back a sigh, wondering if your libido also did a massive growth spurt in your twenty-seven years of age.
Jungkook is placated at the touch of food, and you take turns feeding yourself and feeding him while more customers trickle in the park. Confectioners sugar dusts Jungkook’s long-sleeved tee, the white color staining the dark fabric. You reach to pat his chest, ignoring the toneness that still remains from high school.
“Alright, let’s ride,” you declare, pulling Jungkook up once you’re done eating.
“Do we have to?”
“What happened to the adrenaline junkie I once knew?”
“He realized being an adrenaline junkie doesn’t make money and he should stay on the ground.”
“Alright, Negative Nancy,” your reply has no bite to it, and suddenly you wished you invited Jimin or Seokjin before Jungkook. Jungkook may have the talent, but he certainly doesn’t have the attitude. You don’t even get why he’s still defensive, after all you thought he apologized in the beginning. It’s not like you’re the problem.
“Gimmie your hand,” your thoughts cut out when Jungkook offers his large hand in front of yours, palm up.
“Why?”
“C’mon,” he whines, settling for snatching your hand instead. His palms feel larger, rougher as they enclose your smaller hand. “Now hurry up and walk in front of me. I’m gonna take a picture.”
You already have a feeling as to what this picture is going to look like, so you scrunch your nose. “That is so cheesy.”
“It’s for the nostalgia factor, now hurry up and pretend we’re on a date.”
You roll your eyes but relent, jogging a few steps ahead so you can get into character. This pose used to be a popular one, where the sweet boyfriend would be dragged around by the girlfriend’s hand, tugging him to wherever she wanted to go. It’s super cliche but if Jungkook figures it’ll fit your theme, you’ll do it. Eventually you forget that you’re holding his hand, and point ahead to some rides you want to try out.
“Oh, Jungkook! Remember that one?” you point to a teacup ride, with guests spinning vigorously through their own seat. “Jimin got so sick he fell asleep in the car for an hour!”
Jungkook doesn’t reply, so you turn around and face him. Click. Jungkook smirks at his little trick, which makes you rip your hand from his and walk further.
“Hey, hey,” he chuckles, the first smile of the day. Food really does make him peaceful. “The shot looks good, you look good.”
“Could’ve just asked me to turn around and pose,” you huff.
“Then it would ruin the fun,” he replies, “now c’mon, let’s ride the teacups. For old time’s sake.”
Ten minutes later and the both of you are soon regretting that decision. You’re once again slumped on the bench, this time unable to keep your head up so you rest it on Jungkook’s shoulder while he leans on your head.
“Haven’t rode that since I was a teenager,” Jungkook moans, holding his stomach. “Remind me not to eat so fast before getting on that kind of ride.”
You mirror his expression, feeling green. “Is this what late-adult life feels like?”
“Yep,” Jungkook replies, unbeknownst of how shocked you are at how weak your body has become. “You wake up with back pain, pre-arthritis from all the typing you’ve done over the last decade, and a lot of stress. Definitely not the fantasy you’d imagine from your 20s.”
“You think you’d be less stressed if you kept your lacrosse scholarship?”
“Nah, I think I saved myself,” Jungkook shakes his head, “before I could be any more awful than I already was.”
You refuse that notion, sending him a bitter smile. “Well, look at me. I became awful right after high school.”
“I didn’t mean you—”
“I know,” you hold up a hand to stop him. The two of you follow a red path up the hill, leading to a simple cable car ride. It’s a slow travel ride, made to get from one side of the park to the other with a beautiful view over the lake. “But you see those tabloid articles. They must be true.”
“I—I didn’t think they were all true,” Jungkook’s lying through his teeth to make you feel better, but you don’t care. “Why do you sound unsure?”
You shrug, “Probably wasn’t sober for most of my bad decisions,” considering your friendship with Seokjin and his boisterous drinking attitude, you wouldn’t be surprised, “If they weren’t true, I believe Jimin and I would’ve stayed friends. I can’t imagine why I left my home like that. But I guess it doesn’t matter too much because I came back. And I mean, we’re here together doing work,” you gesture between the small space between each other, “I think that counts for something.”
The two of you walk in silence for a bit, contemplating. The line to the cable car isn’t long but it’s slow, considering the cable only moves a couple meters a second. The take-off area is a risen slab of concrete, and the cars are continuously moving so you have to hop on one car as soon as another guest exits.
There’s a little bit of space between it, a centimeter gap that could be nerve wracking if there’s no staff around. You think nothing of it as you fiddle on your phone, waiting for the staff member to let you and Jungkook in on the next car.
Jungkook enters first, taking great care to cradle the camera in one hand so it doesn’t sway against the car. The car swings a little as well, and Jungkook holds out a hand for you to grab.
Instead you focus on how the once bright glassy pink is sun-ravished, faded and rusting on the metal door flaps. The color is almost pearlescent, vastly different than the vivid color you saw two weeks ago. You almost want to reach out and touch it, wondering where that quality went.
“Bun, be careful!”
The tip of your heel nicks on the stepping stone, slipping like butter as you topple forward. Jungkook doesn’t hesitate to scoop you up, hauling you into the car just as the metal door locks into place. The hard plastic of the camera digs into your chest uncomfortably as you plop on top of Jungkook, between his legs as half his thighs rest against the uncomfortable seat.
“Were you not watching where you were going?” Jungkook huffs, blowing his bangs over his forehead.
Instead of an artful answer you blurt, “You, you called me Bun.”
His eyes widen at your response, and his grip loosens around your body. His eyes dart anywhere but your face, his cheeks ruddied and stained coral as he moves to remove you from his body. “It was a slip of the tongue,” he coughs, turning on his camera and getting shots of the lake.
You huff in response, sticking to your side of the carriage. “I missed it,” you murmur to the wind, although you make yourself loud enough for him to hear.
You try to bury your sour expression in your sleeves, just to hide how absolutely childish you feel. You don’t even care that Jungkook is trying to take pictures of you looking out the view, only trying to eradicate the feelings that are still down deep in your blood. Even the twenty-seven year old Jungkook is charming, albeit in a completely different way.
The grown, mature Jungkook toots to his own horn. He isn’t concerned about a team or an image, and gave it all up to pursue an art he loves. The lacrosse jerseys exchanged for bulky long sleeves, the sport for a camera, and a mask for his true image.
“Let’s go,” Jungkook takes your hand again when the ride stops, not letting go until you’re on steady ground. You figure he must think you walk like a toddler barely on her first mile.
Would Jungkook like you even as an adult? With all this money, this power and this confidence you envisioned as a seventeen-year-old, it still doesn’t feel enough for him. In fact, you feel like a sore thumb sticking out, decorated in silly rumors and expensive clothes that separate you far from your roots.
“Hey,” Jungkook touches your arm, pointing to a basketball carnival game, “remember this one?”
“Yeah,” forcing a smile, you follow him to the small crowd that starts to form around the basketball game. The baskets are a short distance from the player, but so high up that it’s hard to tell the shape of the hoop. “I tried to tell you that it was completely rigged. From an angle you can see it’s still oval-shaped.”
“And I told you it didn’t matter if the hoop was an octagon, I’d get you that prize,” he jerks a thumb to the prize booth, where a blue Piplup plush sits proudly with all the other starter Pokemon. “And I did.”
“It’s still in my room,” you reply proudly, even though Jungkook is acting almost immaturely smug. “I, I mean it’s still in my room in my parent’s house. It’s probably lonely because my parents have been on a cruise for almost two weeks.”
He raises a brow, eyes drifting to the booth. “Should I win another one to keep your bed in the city warm?”
“That sounded oddly sexual.”
“You know what I mean,” and Jungkook’s rolling up his sleeves, handing you the camera.
“Jungkook,” you whine when he pulls out a roll of bills from his pocket, as if he prepared for this moment, “Jungkook c’mon—I don’t need any stuffed animals. Ugh.”
You swear that the majority of your day is spent watching Jungkook blow cash on a low-quality stuffed animal with packaging pellets for the inside. Turns out carnival technology has also enhanced over the years, and it takes both your whining and the clerk’s whining to stop Jungkook from blowing his entire wallet to get one basket in. Eventually the staff relents and lets Jungkook take a Piplup keychain instead, glumly handing it over to you.
“I like this better,” you chirp, clipping the ring onto your car keys, “now I can bring Piplup everywhere.”
A small, barely there smile appears on Jungkook’s face.
The rest of the day melts away like that, and before you know it the sun is slipping into the horizon and you’re being dropped off at your apartment. Jungkook even insists to walk you to your door, because your prizes are heavy. (Yes, he went back for the oversized Piplup.)
It’s all too familiar, the way the walk upstairs is achingly slow, as if the moment is stretching itself down the hallway. How Jungkook looks so prideful holding the fruits of his labor, following you with a tug of your hand because the prize is too big for Jungkook to see straight.
At the same time it’s different. The way you wobble around the hallway because you’re a little tipsy from wine flights is noticeable, even cute. How easy it is to not feel nervous when you clutch at his hand. How you two look like a seasoned couple, coming home from an all-day date.
It ends at the front door, and you crack it open so you can slip your prizes through the crack.
“Thanks, Jungkook,” you hold up the SD card that held all the precious memories of this week.
This is where you part ways. You’ll spend the rest of the night editing your presentation, while Jungkook promised to go to a bar with his friends. A little part of you hoped you’d be invited, but you knew that would be impractical considering you have work in the morning.
“Break a leg,” he says, leaning on the balls of his feet with his hands in his pockets, “you’ll do great. You’ve always been meant to do great things.”
The investment he lays on you is insurmountable, and you feel yourself flush with simultaneous excitement and anxiety. Unknowing how to calm your nerves, you give him a small “thank you” and put your hand on the knob to slip away.
“Wait—”
You blink, a deer in the headlights as Jungkook swoops down and kisses you.
You’ve received kisses—kisses reserved for a twenty-seven year old, before. Seokjin is an eager lover, and you felt it that fateful morning and even during your photoshoot when he tried to be sneaky and pull you away. Fleeting bites, kisses to the neck that are wet and hot.
Jungkook’s kiss does not feel like that. It feels like home. It feels like coming home after a long day of work, wrapping yourself in an old afghan and a hot cup of tea. The feeling of hot laundry, fresh front the dryer and smelling of floral softener. It tastes like ten years lost in a void, returning to your senses and lighting you up.
He holds you as if you’ll disappear right in front of him. Large hands cup your face, like a precious thing he never wants to let go. Your hands can do nothing but grapple after his, nails digging into his skin.
“Good night, Jungkook,” you send him a lovestruck smile, a puppy love face.
“Good bye, Bun,” he replies simply, jogging down the hallway.
Being twenty-seven starts to feel a little more like heaven.
Jennie used to annoy you in high school, but now she just down right scares you.
Her presentation is one straight out of a thriller, with red shadow lights and neon green splattered in the dark room. Her models are intense, her designs are beautiful but overwhelmingly chaotic, and the whole affair is rather grotesque. The headline Fashion Suicide glares at you in a morbid scarlet font.
Hoseok sends her a tight-lipped smile, and presses a button on his desk. “I need my antacids, Krystal,” Hoseok deadpans.
Nothing betrays Jennie’s wicked expression, in fact her smirk widens at Hoseok’s fear.
You on the other hand, are cool as a cucumber when you walk up to the front of the conference room. In fact, you barely have to say anything as the presentation presents itself. Jungkook took the liberty of making a video compilation for you, one that they could use in YouTube and Instagram promotions.
“This, is preserving our youth,” you declare proudly, letting the video play. The music that accompanies it is very coming-of-age, like a yearbook slideshow of all the pictures you took. Taehyung, Jimin and Seokjin hold their arms around each other in matching attire, looking like friends for life. There’s even some videos of you and Jungkook at the park, playfully arguing at each other. “I’m tired of seeing people who could care less about my life, who I can’t relate to.”
“This issue is for the unsung heroes—my best friend’s older sibling, the captain of the football team, and the black sheep with a dream.”
The video cuts to Jungkook, looking ultra cool at the camera while he’s dictating Seokjin’s moves. It was taken on your phone, and you’re zooming in on Jungkook’s serious face before it breaks into a laugh, eyes crinkling and bunny teeth showing at whatever stupid thing Seokjin said.
And finally, the video fades into a mock cover. The five of you are beaming at the camera, cheek-to-cheek as you hold up the placard: Ego: Class of Youth.
Needless to say, the issue is yours.
You ignore Jennie’s icy stare as you leave the room to negotiate with the creative teams on a set schedule. However, it seems that you can’t get a bit of rest when Jennie waits for you in your office.
“Jennie, get off of my desk,” you frown, watching a coffin-tipped nail flicking against a photograph of you holding hands with Jungkook in the amusement park. It hangs on a corkboard, standing up with all the other ideas that you and Jungkook have spent the last week meticulously planning.The black enamel scratches at your smiling face. You are not having this, not after all your hard work and all the meetings that have just been planned.
Her feet dangle in the air, kicking back and forth as she sings your name. “You’re still such a child,” she sighs dramatically. “In fact, I think your cute little-wittle idea would suit something more like Highlights or Disney Monthly.”
“You’re just upset I did better than you,” you cross your arms.
Jennie’s nail slices your visage in half.
“You’re right,” Jennie turns a 180 and gives you a bright, candy-coated smile. “Your idea is so good, it doesn’t suit Ego. In fact, I’m sure the editors at Mono will pay a pretty penny.”
“Excuse me?”
“Ugh, you are such a fake.” Jennie giggles, “now, did you send this idea to Namjoon yet? Their publishing date is two weeks before ours, so I’m sure they’re getting to work on this whole Throwback Thursday spread.”
You can’t believe the words coming from Jennie’s mouth. Before all of this, just how awful of a person were you? How could you sabotage your company on the regular, just to get paid a little extra dough for a rival company? It makes you think about what could’ve possibly changed. Had leaving your friends without a care in the world made you into this lost adult, grappling at the seams for attention? In college, did Jennie coerce you into being manipulative and backstabbing, and because without Jimin and needing confidence in a friend, you reluctantly agreed?
The coffee from this morning starts to back up in your throat, but you immediately tamp it down. No, you can’t be pushed around like this. You can’t keep pushing people around. You don’t want a life like this, and if you ever return to your old life, you’ll damn make sure you’ll create a future without Jennie in the picture.
“I’m not going to send anything to Mono, and I’ve already fessed up to Hoseok,” you lift your nose in the air, voice impeccably clear for someone who’s absolutely bluffing. But Jennie’s face hits the ground, immediately buying your lie. You suppose you did become a good actress after ten years. Maybe Seokjin taught you a few pointers. “So if I were you, I’d swallow your tongue before words get around. I worked it out but don’t be surprised if a pink slip comes your way.”
Turns out that no matter what, high school never ends. There will always be backstabbers and freaks and geeks. A mean girl that you subconsciously try so hard to appease, a grade that defines your life, and drama up to the neck.
“He doesn’t like you, y’know,” Jennie whispers, but the words are loud and clear and you know exactly who she’s talking about. “Never had, and never will.”
“You’re wrong,” you hold your hands, clasping them together to keep them from trembling, “he likes me.”
So you leave the office, determined to prove yourself. That kiss last night was nothing short of magical, and it took a lot of strength for you to not drive up to Jungkook’s apartment in the morning in the hopes for another one. You pick up a pizza near his place, filling it up with your favorite toppings on one half and his favorites on his. A bottle of peach champagne is nestled between your arms. In the bathroom while waiting for your pizza, you’ve wriggled out of your tight suit and into a blue hoodie and bicycle shorts. Tonight, you’re celebrating.
You’re vibrating as you’re knocking eagerly on his front door, excited to tell him the news. You hear a rustle from the couch, and some blankets shifting about. He must’ve passed out after going to the bar, how cute.
But when the door opens, the vision in front of you is far from cute.
A woman, with cat eyes and a slim figure, tilts her head at you. She’s dressed in a large white shirt, transparent enough to show her lacy black bra and panties. Bruises decorate her neck and thighs, like red and purple gems. Her long black hair swishes, slightly frizzy at the bottom.
“Can I help you?” her voice is sultry and velvety. “Are you looking for JK?”
It’s obvious as to what transpired. Jungkook dipped after kissing you and fucked another woman. A woman who’s the complete opposite of you. Someone flirty and sexy and willing to give Jungkook what he wants. You don’t know who you should be mad at.
“Who’s at the door?” Jungkook calls from the inside, and you nearly drop your bottle at the sound of the rasp. They must’ve had a fuckfest if they’re just waking up now.
Your cheeks are burning. Your heart is aching. And the vile that bubbled up from Jennie’s tirade is now resurfacing. From the way your eyes are watering, you must look like a crybaby.
“Say, JK,” the woman closes the frame tighter around her small head, preventing you from seeing inside and for Jungkook to peer, “do you have any pathetic ex-girlfriends?”
“No,” comes the muffled reply, “come back to bed, it’s getting cold without you,” the pizza starts to burn uncomfortably against your grip, “why the random question?”
“Dunno, seems like you’ve had at least one.”
At that moment, your savior appears in grey jeans and a beige hoodie. Jimin walks up to the floor, clutching a bag of groceries. It’s not hard to put two and two together as he spots you looking incredibly small in front of the strange woman, trying so hard not to break down.
Your tears finally fall when Jimin reaches you. “Wrong room,” you mutter under your breath, quickly following your old best friend when he shoves you in his apartment.
No words need to be explained when Jimin leaves the groceries on the coffee table and he’s pulling you onto his lap. You clutch him like a koala, rubbing mascara and blush all over his clothes as you sob. He pats your back and soothes your hiccups by offering you a glass of water. The stages of your meltdowns are pretty cut and dry, even after ten years. He still encourages you to finish the whole glass. He makes sure you have something to eat. He cuts your pizza into little bite sized pieces and feeds you. He doesn’t pressure you to talk until you’re ready, although he has a hunch as to what’s going on.
And when you talk, he doesn’t expect a firm, “Take me home,” from you.
“O-okay,” Jimin agrees immediately, pulling you into a sitting position. “Uptown, right? We can call an Uber or something and order from a restaurant.”
“No,” you reply firmly, “Home-home. I want to go back to my parent’s house.”
“That’s fine too,” he squeezes your shoulder, accepting the fob you hold out to him, “it’ll take about an hour, but I think the drive will be nice.”
So you two sneak off into the sunset, clutching twin slices of pizza as you roll away into your Tesla. Jimin is right, ten minutes into the drive and you’re soothed by his smooth driving and the scent of fried cheese and dough. Your friend has been calm all this time, so you figure this is the right time for him to pop off. Again, this is also part of your breakdown routine.
“Say, does this thing do calls?” Jimin asks, fiddling with the settings on your steering wheel, “Tesla, call Jeon Jungkook.”
“Jimin,” you say weakly, although the little malicious side of you wants to goad him on. You don’t bother to fight the best friend territorialism, you just watch as his hands clutch at the steering wheel as the speakers ring.
Jungkook picks up on the second ring, “Hey!” he says brightly, and it makes your chest pang to know how oblivious he is, “how did the presentation go?”
“Fuck you, Jungkook!” you cover your free hand on your ear at Jimin’s shrill yell, louder than the speakers that carry Jungkook’s voice. “Fuck you for breaking my best friend’s heart twice!”
The silence is deafening. It’s scary, like you could slash a butter knife right through the tension.
Jimin continues, “I can understand high school because you were a real doofus, but this! You fucking lead my best friend on, only to fuck another girl right under her nose! She came all the way to your apartment from a long-ass day at work to celebrate and you ruin that day! I thought you’ve grown for the better but turns out nothing has changed since prom night. You’re still the stupid, confused little boy that doesn’t want to admit how they really feel,” you gasp at the blow, watching Jimin’s gritted teeth as he zooms down the freeway on a mission. “Good fucking riddance, Jeon!”
Jimin punches the “hang up” button. A couple seconds of heavy breathing, and he turns to you with a gentle smile.
“So, you want to listen to Taylor Swift’s new album?”
Your room is lost in time. The Hunger Games novels are stacked on your shelf, looking old and worn. A Glee poster hangs over your four-poster bed, the yellow and red faded and the corners hanging by a thread from the old tape. The sheets are a pale pink, ruffly and definitely not in style anymore. When you sit on it, it creaks uncomfortably.
You hug yourself, tucking your knees in as Jimin marvels at the room with an equal amount of awe.
“If you could, would you go back to high school?” Jimin asks, sitting at the edge of your bed.
With a lazy shrug, you smile at your collection of polaroids that are hanging above your vanity. You’re still hurt, but the pain is no longer rolling in waves. “Maybe,” you reply, “probably would’ve taken you to Europe with me.”
He chuckles, “Is that the only thing you would change?”
“If I knew what I knew now?” you tilt your head, “I don’t know.”
Jimin gets off your bed, pressing a kiss into your forehead. “I’m gonna raid the kitchen and see if we can make something for dinner, yeah? Since your parents are on vacation and your fridge is probably empty, don’t judge me if there’s only Totino’s pizza rolls and nuggets in the freezer.”
When Jimin leaves your room, you quietly close the door and lock it. You lean against the cracked wooden door, falling onto the carpet and letting the tears fall. Is this what the rest of your life is going to be like? Evading pain and working too hard and trying everyday to stay afloat? Is adult life always going to be this difficult?
These past two weeks have been nothing short of a rollercoaster. Major highs and major lows, and after today you thought you reached the end of the ride. However, it’s looking like the ride has no destination in mind, rolling in waves and finding a new hill or loop to catch you off-guard.
“Are you kidding—how did you know we were here?” Another corkscrew.
“You’re a turtle on the road, Jimin. Now move out of the way.”
Jungkook’s voice startles you, and you tense when you see the gold door knob jiggle. Of course as strong as Jimin is, he’s no match for Jungkook. You hear Jimin grumble to curse Jungkook out, and the sound of him stomping down the stairs.
“Hey, open up. Please,” Jungkook’s voice is weak and strained, and you only hug yourself tighter as the knocks continue. “Or, don’t. It seems like you can listen to me perfectly from here. I can hear your breathing.”
You don’t say a peep, preferring to let everything fizzle out. Hopefully Jungkook will give up, say a pathetic sorry and be on his merry way. You don’t know why he’s followed you all the way over here, why would he bother coming when the damage is already done.
There’s a slide of fabric across wood, and you can feel the door shake against your back as Jungkook leans on his side out in the hallway.
“Back in high school, Jennie proposed that I date you to get back at you for stealing Jennie’s sewing sample and getting the higher grade,” you close your eyes, letting the story unravel. “She wanted to build you up before breaking you down, and back then I was vulnerable and thrived on attention, so I thought nothing of it.”
You hear a breathy exhale from his side, as if it pains him to continue, “But obviously, it wasn’t true and I only realized it until I was way too deep. I liked you, so much. Heck, I think I might’ve loved you. We were so wrapped up in this relationship I even convinced myself it was real, until Jennie said she’d crush you at prom night.
“I should’ve tried harder to convince us not to go. I should’ve told Jennie to fuck off. I should’ve come clean. I should’ve done something,” his fist bangs against your door, the vibrations of the impact thrumming in your back, “seeing you so beautiful in that dress all heartbroken because I didn’t act sooner. I’m so fucking sorry.”
Hearing him pour his heart out is like watching your memories in his shoes. The pieces find homes and paint a picture left unfinished.
“And then when you showed up at my doorstep, I was so angry. I knew you felt it. But I wasn’t upset at you, I was upset at myself. I felt so fucking guilty. I hated how easy it was for you to let me back into your life. I hated how easy it was to fall for you all over again. I knew how much I didn’t deserve your forgiveness, but you gave it to me and I was too selfish to refuse. I had so much fun, the most fun I’ve had in awhile.
“I’m sorry I kissed you. I didn’t intend for it to I just, I couldn’t help myself. And then I was so scared that I turned away and made the second biggest regret to date.
“But it proves that we’re not meant to be together. I don’t deserve you,” the last part is hushed, a nail in the coffin, “we can’t turn back the time, but if I could I would change it all. I would be by your side and make your world even better than it is right now. I’m sorry it’s too late.”
You clutch your mouth, suppressing the cries that muffle through the door. You hear Jungkook get up from your old carpet, turn the other way and head downstairs.
Your first love just closed the chapter for you. His words show how much he cared for you, but didn’t know how to express it. How immature he was, how he realized everything too late. And now, he wants to set you free. Even if it is a good thing, it still tears you to shreds.
Moving to your vanity, you pull out the chair and lean your head on the table, eyes poking through your hair. You look awful. The skin under your waterline is puffy and your eyes are red and bloodshot. Your forearms feel greasy, and you lift them up to reveal glitter painting the entirety of your skin. Your eyes dart to the open glitter, the package that Jimin gifted to you that fateful prom night. The compact is broken in half and left on the table, probably a product of your younger cousins fiddling through your old room.
Ignoring the sticky feeling, you let yourself continue to cry. You feel like you’re stuck in the bathroom of the prom venue, waiting for an opportunity to sneak out and go.
But you want nothing more than to go back to that moment. As amazing as your twenty-seven year old life is, you’re not ready for it. You don’t want a life without Jungkook, or a life having to constantly catch up and mend your relationship with Jimin. You don’t want to be the backstabbing bitch that tips off other magazines, or the two-faced woman who messes around with others for the sake of pleasure.
You long to go back. You long to live and grow. To be seventeen and have time to grow in-between.
When you lift your head from your vanity, you’re ten years younger.
You scream.
Your parents dash to your room with a kitchen knife and a confused face. With a wary smile and a teary gaze you say that it’s only a pimple. Your mother giggles and drops the knife, hugging you and helping you conceal the invisible mark. The hug is so warm and so missed that you nearly sigh in content. You’ve missed them.
It’s a little strange to think well beyond your years, your brain still reeling from the trip you’ve just had. Your hands smooth over your body, the previous curves and maturity hidden away in your skin. That’s okay, you don’t mind waiting anymore. There’s much more important things at hand.
If Jungkook isn’t going to realize his mistakes until it’s too late, you have to speed up the process.
Stealing your parent’s keys and hopping in your Accord, you drive off to Jungkook’s. Hair and makeup not done, and still in your plain shirt and jeans. An hour from now, Jungkook will text you saying his car is down and he’ll meet you at the venue.
It’s still rush hour, so he doesn’t notice when you park a few houses down. He’s sitting on his front porch, looking out the road. There’s really nothing in front of him, he’s just staring aimlessly, probably nervous about what’s about to go down tonight. You suppress a sigh, engraving the vision to memory. He looks great in his fitted black suit and tie, a little silver pocket square on the breast to match your dress.
He gets up quickly when he sees you, as if caught in the act. Staring at your plain clothes he asks, “Bun, why aren’t you dressed? Prom’s soon—”
“Jungkook, I want to break up.”
You see it in his eyes. Vulnerability. No longer do you feel insecure, the future told you that Jungkook genuinely did care for you back then. Or in this case, right now. His usual cheery expression crumples at your feet, and his hands fall at his sides. It feels a little unfair, knowing that you have experience under your belt, and Jungkook’s experiencing these feelings for the first time, unprepared.
“What?” he wilts, “why?”
“I know about Jennie’s plan,” you say instantly, unfazed. You give him a tight-lipped smile when realization hits his face. “So I know this whole relationship is orchestrated. The sewing sample fiasco is wrong, obviously. But I’m not going to get mad at you, I know she played you as much as she played me,” you clasp the straps of your purse, stopping you from fidgeting, “we graduate in a few months anyway. We don’t have to see or talk about this ever again. You should go enjoy your prom night with your other friends.”
The present-day Jungkook is still young and confused. He’s at a loss, looking like he’s on sensory overload as he absorbs all the information. You see his eyes flicker to where your Accord is parked, your prom dress hanging on one of the arm pulls. You never even pulled it out of the bag.
“Here,” you pull his corsage from your purse, placing the white rose atop the porch. If you try to put it on him, you fear you may never leave. With a determined huff, you turn around in the direction of your car.
“Where are you going?” he asks, clutching the railing of his porch, “what about prom?”
“I have other plans,” you shrug over your shoulder, “have a good night.”
You don’t look back, although you feel Jungkook’s stare burning in your head. You take great care in going into drive and punching in a new destination in your clunky GPS. This time you have to do things one at a time, once you get your Tesla ten years from now, you’re sure this process will be much easier.
Jimin’s family comes out of the airport, looking impeccable as always. Ten years younger, with puffy cherub cheeks and bright eyes. To your surprise (but also all things considered, it’s Jimin), your best friend comes out in a three-piece suit. It’s burgundy, and suits his dark hair well. He places his luggage into your car, hugs his family good-bye and waits for them to depart in their cab.
“You are all dressed up, and for what,” you chuckle, driving out of the airport.
“Well, when you sent that voicemail that you’d be waiting for me, I changed in the bathroom,” Jimin quips, already fiddling with your radio to play some poppy overplayed music, “but why aren’t you dressed? I thought we were going to be fashionably late to prom. Spill.”
“Hm, let’s talk about it in the morning. I wanna enjoy my prom night,” and you reach over to ruffle Jimin’s soft black strands, “y’know, you’d look really sexy as a blond.”
He pulls down your mirror, positioning it over his face. Pursing his plush lips, he tilts his head. “Yeah, maybe when I’m older,” he grins at his reflection, “so if we’re not going to prom, let’s go get pizza.”
So the two of you get pizza. But not before you take your prom pictures. Your parents meet you at the park with their old digital camera, ready for your impromptu photoshoot. Jimin uses an old tarp to cover the car up while you change in the car, shimmying in your sparkly silver tulle dress. Your hair is held up and away from your face, looking clean enough to be presentable as you pose for the camera. The two of you pick yellow dandelions from the grass, matching flowers as last minute dates. Your parents coo and are happy for you, knowing that even if you don’t attend the actual dance, the pictures will last forever and you’ll smile at them for years.
Eventually you tell Jimin about Jungkook and the whole fiasco (sans the ten year mental time jump.) The reaction is expected, Jimin says he wants to fuck Jungkook up. Surprisingly for him, he doesn’t have to do much to console you. In fact, you sip coolly from your smoothie and say Jungkook will probably let Jimin get a punch in even though Jungkook can bench press his tiny body in half. But you tell him you’re okay, and all you want to do is go home and binge watch.
Jimin carries the pie in his lap while you pull up your driveway. The smell of toasty cheese and fresh dough fill your car.
“I want to watch Sky City,” Jimin sing-songs, “Kim Seokjin is God’s gift!”
You crinkle your nose, “He’s alright.”
“What! You thought he was so hot like, last week.”
“Things change.”
Jimin makes it to your room first, saying he’ll take care of setting things up. He’ll probably steal all the available cushions and make a fort for himself while he puts a picnic blanket on the floor in front of your television. You can imagine him hogging all your stuffed animals, placing it on his side of the carpet while he rifles through your drawers so he can change out of his suit.
Your parents tell you to take out the trash before you have fun tonight. Careful not to get your dress dirty, you hold it away from your body as you waddle out the front door. You make it two steps into the driveway before the soggy trash bag is whisked from your hands.
“I got it,” Jungkook says quietly, and it takes little to no effort for him to haul the large bag into the waiting trash can. His shoulders are slumped under his white button-up, his suit jacket probably stuffed somewhere in the back of the car.
“Jungkook,” you reply, dumbfounded, “it’s only eight, prom isn’t even over yet.”
“I know… but then I realized you weren’t gonna get your money’s worth if you didn’t go. I asked the waitress if she could get me a doggie bag for my date and,” he holds up a stapled bag, presumably the dinner that was supposed to be served, “it’s your favorite.”
“Thank you,” you give him a small, grateful smile as you accept the bag. “But that doesn’t explain why you’re here.”
He bites his lip, stuffing his hands in his dress pockets. “A-and you told me before you left that I should go spend prom night with my friends,” he ruffles his hair, blown out of the pomade and falling into his eyes, “and then I realized that you were right. Jennie and all those people out there aren’t really my friends. They like my rep and they like my attention, but they don’t like me.”
You shake your head, “Jungkook, you’re very likable. Jennie and her group are just one bad bunch.”
“But I don’t wanna be liked by my rep. I wanna be liked for the things I love,” he steps a hesitant step towards you, and he relaxes when he sees that you don’t recoil, “I haven’t told anyone this. But I want to drop that sports scholarship. I applied to an art school, and I got in.”
Suppressing a grin with a bite of your lips, you cheer silently in your head. Things are changing. “I’m so happy for you, Jungkook. Congrats.”
“And I’m sorry for all the fucked up things I did. Jennie may have manipulated me but I definitely was a big part of it,” Jungkook pulls the words out of the sky, finally having enough time to formulate an apology, “but please don’t doubt for a second that my feelings are fake. I really like you, and I wish we got to know each other under better circumstances.”
“I wish we could’ve,” you echo sadly. “But our futures—”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“I liked you, so much. Heck, I think I might’ve loved you.”
You shake your head, frowning at his kicked puppy expression. “I’m considering a fashion school in Europe,” you reach for Jungkook’s hand, squeezing it. Letting him know that everything’s going to be okay. “You and Jimin can visit me during the breaks, Europe has some great spots to photograph.”
Something in Jungkook’s gaze tells you that it’s not enough for him. He wants to be selfish and hold onto you tighter, but you know that’s not good for the both of you right now. “That’d be nice,” he says vaguely, giving you a pained smile.
Jungkook rubs his thumb over your hand, relishing in the softness of your skin. “You look really pretty,” he says, looking forlornly over the dress. He can only imagine how ethereal you’d look under the fairy lights that decorated the venue, “I wish we could’ve had one dance.”
You shrug, “The night’s still young,” you gesture to the space in the driveway, and the lights that overhead the garage.
The slow Taylor Swift music that plays from his pocket is muffled, but it doesn’t deter either of you as he places his hands on your waist and you wrap his around his neck. You’re wearing your bunny house slippers and Jungkook’s neck is moist from his nervous sweats, but you know that this memory will be engraved in your brain for years to come.
It feels good to know that from now on, you don’t have to be so concerned about the future now that you’ve had a taste of it. All you want now is to take it one day at a time. At this moment the, the only thing you want to do is focus on how you’re going to hold onto Jungkook for the last time. At least for now, who knows what will happen in the future.
“I really want to kiss you, Bun,” he leans in, foreheads touching, “but I don’t deserve it.”
“You’re right,” you tease, “you don’t.”
He frowns playfully, “Ouch. But fair.”
Yet you figure you’ve made enough headway these past few weeks, and you deserve to be a little selfish. One last kiss, you think to yourself. Your fingers flatten against the pressed material of his collar, meeting in the middle to clutch Jungkook’s slim black tie. Jungkook bites his lip, looking down at you for permission. With the tiniest of nods, you get on your tippy toe toes you lean forward and you can smell the apple cider lingering on his lips—
“Ohmygod—are you broken up or not!” both of you whip your heads up to see Jimin hanging over your open window, looking absolutely bored. His arms dangle over your sill, wearing a frayed high school jumper. “Either tell him to get lost or invite him over to watch television because I’m hungry!”
You pull away from him fully, squeezing his biceps. “Want pizza?”
He shakes his head, “I think it’s a trap. Jimin’s waiting for me to come up so he can rip my head off,” he gives a tentative wave to the second floor, but Jimin just scoffs and goes back inside, “but I’ll see you Monday.”
“Okay. Good night, Kook.”
“Good night, Bun.”
Your heart pinches a little as you watch him drive away. Before, you knew what the end game was between you two. It didn’t end pretty. Now, you’re not so sure. At the very least, it isn’t ending on a sour note.
Some time later.
“Your majesty,” you give her a practiced smile, taking careful measures not to brush the lady’s shoulders too hard in the fear she’ll whittle away, “emerald is an impeccable color on you.”
The Queen of England (the McDuckin' Queen of England!) just laughs at you and waves you off. You can’t believe you’re photographing a real queen. This is like the childhood equivalent of meeting Malibu Barbie. You thank every single choice and mistake you’ve made in your entire life that has brought you up to this impeccable moment. She’s a vision, you could cry. In fact, you’ll cry later in the comfort of your hotel room. “Do you think the photographer will take long?” she asks, frowning, “I have drinks with my friends in an hour.”
You smirk, pleased to know she’s still kicking it in her golden years. “Yeah, just so long as my husband doesn’t get distracted. Fifteen minutes, tops.”
“I’m not distracted,” Jungkook huffs, pulling away from his tripod. He gives up on trying to stabilize the camera, instead preferring to go freehand for this one. He gives you an incredulous look, hands on his hips, “I have two queens in my viewfinder and I only got room for one. Get out of the shot, Bun.”
With a playful roll of your eyes, you step away from the lady of the hour to let Jungkook do his thing. He’s right in his element, blurting choreographed poses and telling the lighting people to move at his beck and call to get the perfect angle. You stand a distance behind him, letting him take control.
“I’m so hungry,” your whisper is low enough to blend between the jazz music, but loud enough for Jungkook’s ears to listen in, “please tell me you’re almost done.”
“Oui, oui.”
“Wrong language, Kook. Please don’t offend anyone,” and discreetly, you take one step closer in your Tory Burch flats, “did you get any candids of me and the Queen?”
“Duh, Bun,” you can’t see his face but you know he’s grinning, “Jimin will faint.”
"Oh, yes! Thank you, I love you," you gush, reaching over to discreetly pinch his butt.
He shakes his head, looking over his shoulder to give you a brief smirk, "Show me how thankful you are tonight."
So silly, you think. It's amazing how well you work together as two separate entities of a photoshoot yet share a brain cell in the presence of each other. In another world, Jungkook said if given the chance, he'd be by your side and make your world a better place.
Ten years later, it's exactly that and more.
#jungkook x reader#btswritingcafe#btsghostie#kwritersworldnet#jungkook fic#bts fic#bts fluff#bts angst
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PLEASE OH PLEASE OH PLEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEE DO A COMPLETE A-Z NSFW ALPHABET OF ARMIN!!!!!!!!!!!! EVERYONE ALWAYS JUST DOES SOME LETTERS!!!!!! WE NEEEEEEEEEEEED ALLLLLLLL OF IT!!!!!!! PLEASE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
🤝deal
warnings: smut / nsfw 18 + ( somnophilia, breeding, dubcon / dumbification / overstimulation
a // aftercare ( what they're like after sex )
he gets very very clingy, very affectionate. really likes to show how much he loves you afterwards. clean up is a more mutual thing, you both help each other wipe off spit, cum, lube, etc afterwards. you both also like to take a nice warm bath after
b // body part ( their favorite body part, on them and you )
his: his arms. mainly because he can hold you in them and likes to squeeze you real tight. he may not be the strongest but he's very proud of how strong he is
yours: tits. armin is a tits guy sorry. big or small he loves your tits so much, loves the way they look in his hands or covered in hickies. just loves 'em.
c // cum ( anything to do with cum )
his favorite place to cum is on your face. yes. it sounds a little lewd for him but he looooves to see your pretty face all red and painted in his cum hehe
armin cums a lot. like a lot. i don't make the rules. his dick is just so sensitive he can't help it. when he cums in your mouth it's always a full swallow or two.
d // dirty secret
y'all already know this. armin is a closet perv and no one can change my mind. he's a fucking pervert. panty snatcher, watches you shower, gets off to you sleeping. everything.
e // experience
armins not experienced but he's very smart so he knows what's up. and he's a quick learner. it's very easy for him to get you off once he knows what you like.
f // favorite position
missionary is always a classic, he loves seeing your face as he's making you feel good. it boosts his ego a little
but doggy WHEW armin goes fucking insane for doggy. he loves hitting it from behind to see the way your ass ripples as his hips meet yours.
g // goofy ( are they more serious or humorous in the moment )
if something funny happens he laughs, but he doesn't just mess around the whole time. sex is an intimate thing for him and he likes to keep it more serious... but it's always light hearted
h // hair ( how well groomed are they )
clean but not bald cuz he thinks it makes his dick look weird LMFAO
i // intimacy ( how intimate are they in the moment )
he's an intimate guy, he loves loving you. he loves being close to you, he loves pleasing you. when it's about you it's about you all the way though. he wants to make you feel happy and content.
j // jerk off
he's a closet perv so of course he jerks off... what can you expect? obviously he always prefers it was you but if you're not there and he needs to get off, he needs to get off.
k // kink ( one or more of their kinks )
whew this is a list isn't it.
overstimulation: whether he's receiving or giving he loves it. he loves when he can barely control his body from twitching because it feels so good. but he also loves watching you shake and come undone over and over and over
thigh riding: he's so amazed on how you can get off on only his thigh. it makes his dick throb so fucking hard for you. even if you don't touch him he could still cum from watching you.
dumbification: he may not be the strongest guy but he has stamina and will use it. he loves to see you all fucked out and trembling, even if it means overstimulating himself in the process.
somnophilia: consensual of course.. armin loves to finger you while you're asleep... listening to your shaky moans as you begin to stir. he also loves waking up with your lips wrapped around his cock
breeding: this ones little. he just loves the idea of having a family with you, it makes him so happy
l // location ( where they like to do it the most )
bed, specifically yours. it's a territorial thing for him. you're his and his only and he's gonna let you know.
he also like it up against a wall, your hands just grabbing onto him for dear life as he plows you up it
m // motivation ( what turns them on )
literally anything turns him on. and when i mean anything i mean anything and everything. you're just talking? he's hard. you're reading a book? bam. he's hard. you're sleeping? hard.
n // no ( their turn offs )
anything that involves hurting you ( slapping, pinching, biting etc ) he could never bring himself to do it ( but he does like receiving it )
o // oral
LOVES eating you out, could do it for houuurs just because he loves the taste. loves feeling your squirm and clench around his tongue and fingers... it literally has him grinding against the side of the bed
he likes receiving too but not as much. gets absolutely weak in the knees seeing your pretty lips wrapped around his dick
p // pace ( fast ? / slow ? / rough ? / sensual ? )
armin likes it slow but rough... languid but deep strokes that reach only the deepest parts inside you. likes being close and pressed up against you while he fucks you nice and good.
q // quickie
he prefers not to do quickies but if it's needed it's needed and he'll be more then willing to get it on with you in a bathroom or closet
r // risk ( are they up for experimentation ? )
he loves trying new things !! anything that involves learning something new he will be so down for. you want to peg him? absolutely!! you want him to choke you? yes!! he loves finding new things you guys can like together.
s // stamina ( how long and for how many rounds )
like i said... armin isn't strong but he has stamina. if life was normal for them i would bet on my momma that he would run cross country. so he can go and go and go for rounds without getting too tired. he just wants to make you feel so good and loves seeing you all fucked out. yes he may be overstimulating himself in the process but it's so worth it.
t // toys ( do they own toys, use toys ? )
not really. toys aren't really something either of you need in the relationship. but as i said, armin is up to experiment and if that means bringing in a vibrator then he's all for it.
u // unfair ( how much they like to tease )
he doesn't hate teasing persay... he just likes getting to the point. he gets very impatient and needy and really has no self control when it comes to teasing.
v // volume ( how loud are they ? )
armin as pretty moans. a little on the feminine side but my god are they music to your ears. cute little whines and whimpers falling from his lips as he struggles to keep his orgasm at bay. whew.
w // wild card ( random headcanon )
likes when u finger his ass... what can i say
x // x ray ( what's going on under the clothes )
he's not huge. maybe 6-6.5/7 inches. but he knows how to use it. it's not the size of the ship... it's about the motion of the ocean. ( pun intended )
y // yearning ( how high is their sex drive )
if you let him, armin could fuck you all day every day. his sex drive is through the fucking roof. he just loves you so goddamn much and wants to be near you all the time.
z // zzz's ( how quick are they to fall asleep ? )
he cleans up, snuggles up to you and is passed the fuck out. he may have stamina but once all the energy he exerted catches up to him he's out like a light. but you don't mind cuz so are you.
#tw: breeding#tw: dumbification#tw: somnophilia#armin arlert x reader#armin arlert x reader smut#armin arlert smut#armin x reader smut#armin x reader#armin smut#aot smut
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𝐂𝐀𝐔𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍.
eijirou kirishima | f!reader, DARK CONTENT, drugging, noncon, but also the reader isn't not into it bc like...i have my limits okay, talk of vomit for a sec (no actual vomit), degradation, bondage, size kink, hair pulling, ripping clothes, slut-calling once or twice. minors dni!
— 3k words
"'S this what you need, Sweetheart? Y'need me to use you to get off while you just lie there and take it?"
"See somethin' you like, Sweetheart?"
"U-Um," you flush a deeper red than the stranger's hair and pray he can't see it under neon red lights. Either way, you've been caught red-handed, and recoil. "Sorry."
The stranger's crimson eyes soften before relaxing into a kind smile, and he lifts a dismissive hand. "I was just messing with you! That's on me."
He lifts a hand to scratch the back of his head and the smile grows wider, displaying the rows of predatory sharp teeth that shouldn't look as gentle as they do. You relax in the seat to his right, immediately turning to the bartender to order a funny named a drink. The redhead raises an eyebrow, leaning his arm on the counter.
"A Stranger Danger?" He nearly deadpans.
"Club Special," you shrug. You've never been particularly great at holding your alcohol, but this drink provides just enough punch for a buzz, aka what you need to get through the night. The bartender slides over a tall, rose-dyed wine glass without another word.
"Eijirou Kirishima," the stranger says with his sharp teeth, offering a large hand to shake. He looks comical next to you, all hunched over the neon bar while you sit up straight for your head to reach his shoulder, and as you take the handshake, can't help but notice how his palm eats yours like it's nothing.
"Y/N," you smile. His hand lingers before it pulls away, and he tells the bartender he'll have what you're having.
"So," Eijirou starts once his order has been placed. "You come here often?" You snort at the cheesy line, and the way Eijirou smirks implies he knows just how cliché it is.
"Sometimes," you shrug vaguely. The club's fairly new, so it's not as if you can say you've been going here for years. You lift the drink to your lips, the sugar-crusted rim tickling the corners of your mouth. "You?"
He shrugs, "When I want to get out."
You nod at that and offer him your glass with a raised eyebrow. Eijirou shakes his head, lifting a glass of his own. Your nose scrunches.
"Beer?"
He takes a sip before answering, lips white from the foam before his tongue licks them over, "Stella Artois. Want some?"
Your eyes shift between your dainty glass and his not-so-dainty one before you snort, "I'll pass."
Eijirou shrugs, reclining back in his seat and beer in hand, "Suit yourself."
You pat your back pocket for your phone, but when you realize there's a loss of weight on one side, you pat your right buttcheek to realize you left your wallet in the car. Fuck.
"Uh, hey," you say, knocking the redhead on the shoulder. You figure he's trustworthy enough, and the bartender always keeps an eye out for you anyway. "I'll be right back—left my wallet in the car."
Eijirou nods at that as you push away from the counter practically shaking your head at how distracted you can be sometimes. Seriously, your wallet?
At least the bartender didn't ask for your ID. Yikes.
You slam the car door shut with a huff, wallet finally in hand as you trudge back to the bar. When you return, Eijirou's got the beer lifted to his lips and greets you with a small wave as you sit down.
"Long time no see."
You giggle while grabbing your glass by the neck. As the club starts to fill out, you begin to shrink into your shell—throwing the entire drink down the hatch fixes you right up, though.
"Oh wow okay, looks like we're just going for the whole thing, then," Eijirou chuckles as he takes a much more civilized sip of his. You smack your lips with a satisfied aah.
"Gotta get the buzz going somehow," you wink, before getting comfortable in your seat. Alcohol warms your veins already, prompting your body to start pulse in time with the bass of the music. Eijirou smiles, watching you.
"You like this song?" he asks softly, before adjusting so you're both sat the same way—elbows and backs against the counter, facing the club and all its chaos. You shrug.
"I guess. I've never heard it 'till now."
He tosses his head back onto his muscled shoulders in a chuckle, and you watch the entire act in slow motion. The glint of his teeth in the neon lights, how his chest balloons and quivers under the weight of a bellow. You find yourself staring much harder than you intend to, but he doesn't seem to notice, eyes locked on the dance floor.
"Touché, touché," he says upon recovery. The alcohol in your veins turns to syrup and time starts to blur more than you're used to it being, body so light and weightless you have to pat the chair to make sure you aren't floating. That usually doesn't happen.
"You okay?" Eijirou frowns when you falter. You pull a smile and nod.
"Mhm," you say, though silently panicking when you feel like you're falling out of your seat. You grip the countertop just in case. "Mhm, yeah."
He raises an eyebrow, "You sure?"
"Yeah," you nod, before clearing your throat. Your body flashes hot then cold, and you wonder if you shouldn't have taken that drink down like you did. "I'm um—I'm going to go to the bathroom, one sec."
You're unsure if Eijirou says something as you leave because you pour all your energy into stumbling across the obnoxiously loud club, filled with too much bass and pandemonium for your liking. You're suddenly overwhelmed by everything and your esophagus goes numb at the thought of vomiting, but you make it to the singles bathroom just in time to shut the door and control your goddamn stomach.
With a sigh, you rest your head against the cool sink. The incessant buzz of the overhead lights is much, much better.
You take a deep breath and flick on the sink. Ensuring it's as freezing as it can possibly go, you launch some into your face. You don't even consider ruining the amount of work that went into your outfit today, because ultimately you aren't sober enough to give a shit, blinking back at your reflection to find it fairly blurry. You nearly stumble and fall, but your vice grip on the counter keeps you alive.
"You okay?"
The second you step back into the noisy club, Eijirou's there—with his sweet sharp-toothed smile, he's posted next to the bathroom door and you find yourself grappling his jacket for stability.
"Whoa—Careful now," He chuckles at your sloppiness with a lifted eyebrow. You blink once, twice—the spots floating in your line of vision don't disappear. His hands snake around your waist to keep you from falling and eating shit, and you dig your forehead into his muscled chest.
"Gotta—I gotta go home."
"Okay," Eijirou soothes softly upon realizing how utterly shit-faced you are. "How'd you get here?"
"Walked," you groan and nearly cry, looking up at him with a pout. Eijirou coos.
"Well, no offense but I don't think you're good to walk on your own, Sweetheart."
His voice is heady with something you can't quite recognize, but it's comfortable, and you melt into his chest with a weak nod.
"Mhm."
"Can I help you home?" He offers with a kind smile. You nod, fists gripping his shirt in tufts.
"Yes please."
"Oop—careful."
"I am al—hic—always so fu—fucking careful," you slur. Your body has gone so numb that Eijirou gave up and resorted to carrying you bridal style the rest of the way instead. But he has to set you down so you can stuff your keys in the door, but you can't even do that right.
"Need me to do it?"
"No!" You puff your cheeks, trying twice more before you successfully get it in the keyhole. "'Mma strong independent woman who don' nee' no mahn."
Eijirou chuckles, and using his big shoulder, opens the door to chauffeur you inside. Neither of you get very far, maybe halfway to your room, before your legs give out and the only thing that saves you is the hand on your waist.
"Down this hall?" He asks, raising an eyebrow. You nod so profusely it gives you a temporary headache.
You blink and you're in your bedroom, your front hitting the sheets with a soft thump. Huh. Maybe he carried you the rest of the way. With a face full of pillows, you groan at the new and improved position as you feel the bed dip behind you, and Eijirou grab both of your wrists.
"You're so cute, you know that?"
Something soft and silk ties your fists behind your back. You recognize the material as the belt from your robe, tossed carelessly on your bed during the chaos that ensues every time you get ready for the club. It's not until you try to pull your hands apart that you realize they're tied tight.
"Pulling is only going to make it tighter," Eijirou says with an absentminded sigh, like he's done this before, and trepidation spikes in your chest once he raises your hipbone and slides a pillow underneath to angle them, the only way you could break free—especially with the new grip on your hips.
"Ei—" you try to squirm, legs kicking blindly into the space behind you, but once he seizes your thighs he's sitting on your calves to keep you in place. There's the undeniable sound of cloth ripping and your behind is suddenly met with cool air, prompting a shiver or two.
"Eijirou, what are yo—"
You're interrupted by a stinging slap to your ass and a growl. "Don't tell me I gotta gag your pretty mouth too, Sweetheart."
His voice is low and sharp with a threat, his grip tightening around your thighs.
"You're soaked already? Fuck...and I bet you taste so sweet too..." he bites back a groan in thought, sliding a finger down your slit.
He clicks his tongue but it's damn near mocking. You gasp as he fills you with two large fingers instead of one, body tensing as the alcohol-induced numbness fades in favor of amplified arousal. Eijirou chuckles at your reaction.
"Taking it so well already," he purrs, hand caressing the crest of your ass. In your defense, there isn't much you can do but take it. Ah-ah, Sweetheart—Speak up for me."
"O-Ow," you hiss when your head is wrenched. upwards via your hair to expose your broken moan. Eijirou's grip only tightens after you complain, and you can feel his hot breath ghost the base of your neck. His thumb finds your clit and doesn't move, it just sits there as heavy weight—and it's just as frustrating as it is teasing.
"Ei," you rasp into the pillow, voice hoarse and thick. "I nee—fuck, more—"
"More?" He chuckles derisively, shaking his head with a tut. "Two fingers and you want more? Fuckin' slut."
Each word is loaded with something pitifully mocking and if you were in any other position you would've curled a lip and spat back. But that's a little hard with your face in the pillow and Eijirou's weight above you, isn't it? You shake your head against his fist until he lets go in favor of crackling a solid hand against your ass.
"Oh, you like that, don't you Sweetheart?" He grunts and his fingers increase in speed, the lewd squelch bounces off the walls of the bedroom and echoes in your head in the most insulting way. "My fingers fill you up that good?"
"Y-Yeah, I—" you choke around drool that gathers in the corners of your mouth and shake under his palm. "Fuck me Ei, I nee—"
The quick spank cracked against your ass shakes you from your thought process. "Dirty fucking girl—you really so desperate to let a guy you just met fuck you like this? So goddamn easy."
But he's removing his fingers regardless, stuffing them between your swollen lips as he assumes the space behind you. You hear the quiet fumble of his belt and the run of his zipper, before you feel his hot cock pressing against your soaked entrance.
Eijirou pushes in with a groan, his free hand finding your hips to keep them in place. Your legs thrash as he fills you up with a pleasurable burn, and by the time he bottoms out, you're positive he's filling you up all the way to your lungs.
"Fucking hell," he heaves above you, and the fingers in your mouth disappear to grasp the sheets. You shake along with him, back straightening in a poor attempt to alleviate the burn—and he barely gives you a second to breathe before he's pulling out and slamming back in.
"Fuck!"
You jump each time the head of his cock rams against your cervix, feet scrambling in a poor attempt to escape. Eijirou growls and puts all of his weight in his hips to ensure you'll stay still, a big hand smushing your face into the sheets.
"Sing for me, Sweetheart—I wanna hear ya."
Your voice cracks as Eijirou speeds up, simply using you for his own pleasure—but maybe that's what excites you the most.
"Ei—"
"'S this what you need, Sweetheart?" He spits, and you can feel the sweat dripping from his shoulders onto your exposed back. "Y'need me to use you to get off while you just lie there and take it?"
You whimper uselessly and nod, but Eijirou growls, yanking your head up for a proper answer.
"I said, don't you?"
"Fuck I—" he hikes your hips even higher for a better angle and gets one, the head of his cock forcing a scream out of your lungs as you yelp, "I do!"
"'Course you do," he chuckles, and drops your head back onto the pillow, "'Course you fuckin' do—"
"Ei-Eiji—" you gasp like you've been underwater forever. "I can't, I nee—"
"Dumb little baby can't even speak," he coos, before his hand finds the sides of your neck and squeezes. "What? Whadd'ya need, Sweetheart?"
And honestly, you're not completely sure what you need, you just know you're chasing after *something—*and Eijirou's got you sprinting after it while you melt into the sheets into a hot, gooey mess. You think the split ends of EIjirou's hair ticking the back of your arms, but you aren't sure. The only thing you are sure of is the burn between your legs and the feeling of being very, very close.
"'Mma cum!" You squeal, the vein in the side of your neck bulging. Eijirou grunts and slides a calloused hand under your stomach to play with your clit, hissing as you squeeze around him.
"Awe, the little slut's gonna cream all over my cock?" He coos, and you're positive his hips speed up just a bit. The grip on your neck slides to the hands tied behind your back for leverage. "Yeah she fuckin' is—I can see your eyes rolling back already."
And he's right, because the weight of your orgasm knocks the wind out of your lungs and your lips round to form and 'o'. You couldn't say if you screamed or not, as the ringing in your ears peaks with your orgasm. The only reason you know Eijirou finishes is because his hips stutter to a stop while you lay face down in the pillow, heart thrumming against your ribcage.
"Hey, you okay?" Eijirou nearly scrambles to get your back on your chest. You know this type of thing gets him nervous, but he does it oh so well, and there isn't much you can do but smile at the ceiling lazily.
"You just railed me into the sheets and you're asking if I'm fine?" You snort at your boyfriend's frazzled appearance—and the afterglow doesn't help, his chili red hair sticking in every other direction except the one it's supposed to.
"Yeah," Eijirou doesn't even hesitate and then gives you a quick peck on the lips. His voice edges on a petulant whine as he says, "I was rough, Sweetheart."
"Because I asked you to be," you quirk an eyebrow and finally, the redhead stumbles to your joint bathroom butt naked. "And don't forget to wet the towel this time!
A little shuffling in the bathroom, and then:
"That was one time!"
"And my vag will never recover!" You holler back. Eijirou just snorts before the white noise of a running sink takes possession of the conversation, and you scoot to the section of your shared bed that isn't soiled with a sigh.
You roll onto your side and come face to face with a framed selfie of you and Eijirou on your first date. Next to that one is first anniversary, second anniversary, third...
Now you're edging on the fifth, comfortable enough where he's walking around with his soft dick out and you've given up in swatting at his hands every time they grab for your tits. You two are comfortable—this is comfortable.
Eyeing the bathroom door, you still hear running water. Sneakily, you reach for the drawer where Eijirou keeps the the ring he doesn't know you know he hides. But frankly, you're the only one who cleans this goddamn house, so it wasn't like you weren't going to find it. You open the red velvet box to blink down at a diamond ring, thumb caressing gem. It glimmers even when the lights are low, and you can't help but be jealous of it—which is silly. You know it'll be yours anyway. The ring is always smoother than you expect it to be, but that thought doesn't last long, because you quickly toss it back into Eijirou's drawer and assume a less suspicious position upon hearing the sink turn off.
"What?" he asks with a small grin as he walks in with a wet towel in hand. "You're giving me that weird look again."
You snort, rolling your eyes before adjusting so you face the ceiling again. Spreading your legs, you demand, "'S nothing. Now clean me up, big boy."
Eijirou huffs at that but he assumes the space between your legs with a light blush. You smile.
He'll do it. When he grows the balls.
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lights down low pt. 2
pt. 1
anon. lights down low was so good can u do a continuation of it maybe like y/n invites some of them to her house and boom gangbang
includes. kuroo tetsurou, bokuto koutarou, oikawa tooru, ushijima wakatoshi
cw. fem reader, fivesome, a yagami yato reference (little cutie), oral (receiving and giving), fingering, vaginal penetration, creampie, Bokuto’s kind of a sub ig??, handjob, face sitting, squirting, double penetration, anal
a/n. Kinda don’t wanna leave an a/n because I’m still mad at the fact that the first time I wrote this it got DELETED, still spicy about that but what can I do? I was already planning on making a sequel to Lights down low since it did so good, I just couldn’t figure out how and who. Anyways, hope your guys enjoy it.
It had been a few month since the wonderful videocall that left them all hot and needy. It wasn’t the only time that happened, in fact, ever since then it was repeated at least twice a week. Which obviously led to some awkward moments in the hallways.
The one time Tendou groped your ass in the hallway, or the one time Kuroo pinned you against the wall, got really close to your ear and whispered ‘are you wearing that underwear we love so much for tonight?’. Which for the record, you were, but now it was wet.
Currently you were in your house. You eyed yourself in the mirror one last time before you heard the doorbell ring. You rush to answer it, knowing full well who was waiting for you on the other side of the door.
The door was locked behind you when you let the four boys, Kuroo, Bokuto, Oikawa and Ushijima. For a moment you just stood there, wondering what to do now. Well, you had invited them home because your parents weren’t going to be home for the next few days, so I guess it was their move now. You walk to the kitchen and they follow you, almost like lost puppies.
“So...would you guys like something to drink? Or something to drink?”
“That sweet pussy” your cheeks flushed at his words, embarrassed by the fact that they had barely arrived and they already had you dripping through you panties. Out of nowhere Ushijima picked you up, throwing you over his shoulder and holding the back of your thighs to keep you safe. They walked up the stairs and down the hall to your room and Ushi placed you on the bed carefully.
You sat up quickly, taking off your shirt and slipping off your shorts as the boys quickly take their clothe off. The bed shifted when Oikawa climbed on. “No bra? Is this all for us baby?” You nod your head, a silent beg. Trying to communicate how much you needed him.
You feel the bed shift again when Ushijima slips in behind you, you end up between his legs, his rock hard dick pushing against your lower back. The boy in front of you slips a hand in the waistline of your cute underwear, doing nothing to hide the wet spot in between your legs, and he pulls them off. He leaves your wet cunt on display for the rest of the men in the room and throws your panties to an unknown corner of the room.
“This here...its so wet. Have you been thinking of us? Little cutie?” you nod as you guide both of Ushijima’s hands to touch your breasts, using his calloused fingers to tease your nipples and he catches on quickly to how you want him to treat you. Oikawa leans in and licks a long stripe through your folds, his warm tongue making you feel all kinds of ways. “You like that?”
He goes all in, diving between you legs to work his magic, sucking your clit occasionally, which drove you insane. You raised your hips, grinding them against his mouth for more friction. You finally got a piece of what you needed when he slipped a finger into your hole, he watched as your face transformed completely with every twist and turn he gave with his finger, and even more when he slipped in another one.
“Tooru please... f-fuck me”
“Be patient love, we wont leave you unsatisfied. Now let go, I wanna hear your sweet music” he curls his fingers at the right spot making your hips shoot up in pleasure and he starts leaving marks on the inside of your thighs. One of his hands is knuckles deep inside you and the other one is holding your leg over his shoulder, you’re loving every second of it. “Are you close? I wanna hear you scream my name darling”
“T-Tooru!” you shout s you clench around his fingers, your slick coating them and your body was squirming. Shaky words mixed with his name and other profanities would spill out of your mouth in your moment of ecstasy, driving all of them crazy. Ushi’s cock twitching behind you and you felt a small drop of liquid trickle down to your arse, his precum.
When you finally came down from your high Tooru quickly flipped you over so that now you finally see Ushijima’s big cock. It wasn’t anything to laugh at, standing tall and bumping against his abdomen, his pretty pink tip dripping precum.
“Don’t be shy darling, take it in your mouth” Oikawa suggested, although his tone indicated it was and order.
“Its so big, I don’t think I can” you give it a try anyway, licking a stripe from the base to the tip, repeating the movement over and over until you took it in your mouth. Tears gathered in the corners of your eyes and threatened to slip out. And they did, when Oikawa entered you with no warning, he took your distraction with Ushijima’s cock to his advantage and sheathed himself inside of you all at once. You let out a loud moan, which only sent vibrations through the cock in your mouth and made the man throw his head back at the feeling.
Oikawa started moving, steady thrusts while he held your hips with his calloused hands, sure to leave marks. Ushi moved too, thrusting his hips into your mouth, hitting the back of your throat every time and holding your hair to steady himself.
“Fuck- You feel so tight” you shift your gaze to your left and watch Kuroo jacking off with a piece of fabric around his length. Not just any piece of fabric, your previously discarded panties, the sight alone makes you clench on Tooru, and he notices. “Awwe, clenching when you see his fucking himself with your panties? Such a slut, having two of her holes stuffed. How does it feel? Oh wait, you shouldn’t speak with your mouth full”
Then you saw him, Bokuto, sitting in a chair and watching you with pleading eyes. His length just begging to be touched. You motioned him to come here with your hand and he did as told, desperate to be touched. When he got close enough to the bed you grabbed his cock and stroked it, rubbing the tip with your thumb and basically fucking him with your hand.
“(Y/n)! Can I cum inside? Please let me come inside”
“Of course you can Ushi” Oikawa answered for you, he was still going at it, with every thrust he went faster and harder, his eyes fixated on the way your ass bounced and jiggled every time he shot his hips against yours. The sight was so arousing, he couldn’t hold back any longer and he leaned over you so his chest was right behind your back. He left kisses and bite marks on your neck and on the back of your neck.
Ushijima spurted thick ropes of cum into your mouth, holding your head close to him and forcing you to swallow it all. Not that you would complain. You felt Bokuto’s dick in your hand twitch, a signal that he was close. You took Ushijima’s cock out of your mouth, a little bit of his seed dripping down your chin, you filled you mouth with Bokuto’s cock. You hollow your cheeks in hope of making him spill it all inside and he did, painting your cheeks white with his cum and throwing his head back at the amazing feeling.
Just as you felt the white haired male nearing his end you reached your own climax, your eyes rolling to the back of your head and your walls spasming around Tooru’s cock.
“You feel so good- hah! I’m gonna cum!” he shot his load inside your hole, leaving a warm feeling behind when it was over and he pulled out. Your fucked out figure was flipped again, laying on your back while Oikawa cleaned your chin with his shirt. “You did so good for us doll, now its their turn” he motions towards Kuroo, who had your panties in his hand, except now they were coated in his white substance.
He laid on the bed next to you and you sat up supporting yourself with your elbow.
“Sit on my face” your eyes shoot open in shock.
“Wh-what?”
“Don’t make me repeat myself doll, come sit on my face” you hesitantly move your way up to be situated on top of his face, holding onto the headboard of the bed for dear life. “Come on dear, I don’t have all day”
He grabs your hips with a bruising grip and shoves you down on his mouth and he sucks on your clit. Slurping, sucking and other lewd noises could be heard from his spot in between your legs. He brought your body up to let himself be heard.
“I want you to fuck yourself with my tongue”
“N-no I can-tt ah! Kuroo-!” he lowered you on his tongue and you began grinding on his face, his nose occasionally grazing against your clit. Minutes later you feel yourself close to orgasm, though this one feels different, it feels stronger.
“K-Kuroo no! I’ll make a m-mess-! Please let me g-get off Kuroo!” he pretended he didn’t hear you, he wanted you to make a mess. So you did, squirting all over his face, your juices dripping on his cheeks and he licked his lips to taste you.
“You taste so good doll, now I wanna see you do that again. Bo, come over here” and the male followed the orders, his cock was painfully hard again. Kuroo moved from the bed, taking you with him in his arms as you held onto him like a koala. Bokuto laid down on the bed on Kuroo’s previous place and Kuroo placed you above Bokuto’s rock hard cock.
“K-Kuroo no! Its so big! I-I can’t take it” you whined when he put you down on his friends cock. He reached deeper than you could’ve ever reached with one of your toys, though they all seemed insignificant right now, you could never go back to using them now that you found something bigger and better to satisfy yourself with. Your train of thought was interrupted when Kuroo entered a finger in your ass, the sudden stretch in your unused hole making tears fall again.
“N-no! Kuroo that’s s-so dirty”
“Nonsense baby, nothing about you is dirty. Nothing you could ever have...” he moved the finger inside of you, trying to get you used to the new sensation while you bounced on Bokuto’s cock. “Nothing you could ever do...” he slips in another finger and your pain turned into pleasure the harder he went with his fingers. “Nothing you could ever say... would make me think that you’re dirty”
He removed all three fingers from your hole and you felt relieved. You shouldn’t feel relieved though, you should know by now, Kuroo doesn’t do anything without a reason. He only pulled his fingers out of your asshole because something bigger was coming. He went inside.
You scream out his name in pleasure, the feeling of being stuffed by two cocks was even more fulfilling than one. You kept bouncing on Bokuto, who was just taking in the view of the contortions of your face, how your eyes would shut every time he hit your cervix and how your whines only became louder.
You put your hands on Bokuto’s chest so you could keep balance.
“Oh! What do we have here?” curious Oikawa had found your small vibrator on your drawer and smirked at you playfully.
“N-no-! Ple-ease, no more! No m-more” but it was too late Tooru had put the vibrating bullet against your clit and had your body shaking and squirming in pleasure.
“You feel so good (Y/n)-! If you clench on me like that-... I’m gonna cum” Bokuto whined. You just nodded your head, too absorbed in your own pleasure to mind him while he blew his load, coating your cute cunt in his cum. Kuroo left open mouthed kissed on your shoulder and that was the last piece of pleasure you needed to explode. You pulled yourself off his cock and make the mess, leaving his thighs soaking with your slick.
The sight made Kuroo finish, pulling out of your ass and spurting cum on your back. When he finished his orgasm he stood back and admired the masterpiece he had created. After that you collapsed on top of Bokuto, and the rest of your memories were foggy. You remember the warmth of the bath they gave you as after care and you remember Ushi tucking you in.
And you remember thinking as you went to sleep, ‘what a well spent afternoon’.
©️ kaijime | all content belongs to kaijime, do not modify or repost
#kuroo#kuroo tetsurō#kuroo smut#kuroo x reader#kuroo x reader smut#kuroo tetsurou#haikyuu!!#haikyuu smut#haikyuu x reader#haikyuu x reader smut#haikyuu#bokuto koutarou#bokuto smut#bokuto x reader#bokuto x reader smut#oikawa#oikawa tooru#oikawa smut#oikawa x reader#oikawa x reader smut#oikawa torū#ushijima wakatoshi#ushijima smut#ushijima x reader#ushijima x reader smut#ushijima fic#smut#h. pic
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Brightest Blue (series)
PART ONE
Pairing: Josh & female!Reader Warnings: None yet. Summary: Things are changing. New state. New school. New roommate. You just pray things are going to click into place. Notes: Here we are everyone. This fic has been a long time in the making, but I’m pretty dang happy with it so far! I made Josh extra lovable and squishy for you all. I hope you enjoy! This fic is edited by the amazing and gorgeous, @lantern-inthenight. And big thanks as always to @myownparadise96. I literally could not have found the motivation to do this fic without you.
MASTERPOST
taglist: @myownparadise96 @n1-party-anthem @valleyd0ll @bigblack-catattack @guitarfingers @thebohemianpenguin @oblvions @hansonobsessed @satingrass-maidensfair
The scenery in Michigan was vastly different than back home. You were used to and comfortable with the nearly unforgiving heat of the American South West, but the farther away you got from home, the more foreign everything seemed. The scrubland slowly started being replaced by emerald green grass and dense forests of towering pines. Once you hit Illinois, little farmsteads were scattered along every road you took, boasting fields thick with corn and beans.
It was a bit over a full day’s worth of driving. You had originally thought you could just drive right through - after all, you were young and you had plenty of caffeine at the ready. In reality, you wound up digesting the trip over two days.
You were a fortunate enough person that you had a reliable car, which made up for the fact that it wasn’t very pretty to look at. It didn’t exactly sip gas, but that had never even been a concern before this - it wasn’t very often that you left home, let alone make a trip across the country. But you were able to breathe a sigh of relief when you started seeing the exit signs for Ann Arbor.
Your parents had been a bit judgemental about you picking a school so far away - they were even worse homebodies than you, and they knew that you being across the country meant they wouldn’t be seeing you until the school year was over - but there was no way you could turn down an opportunity like this one. You had worked your ass off to qualify for a scholarship, knowing full well that there was no way you could afford higher education otherwise. MU hadn’t been your very first choice but with one of the better programs in the country for your desired field, you just couldn’t turn it down.
You had to pull over into a McDonald’s parking lot to pull up the address you were looking for and program it into your phone’s GPS before continuing further into the city. Your mother had been particularly wary about your living situation. See, she was a woman that adamantly liked to have a plan and then stick to it - she didn’t see any value in just letting things happen. “Go with the flow” wasn’t in her vocabulary, but you’d always romanticised the idea. Which was why, when you pulled up to the apartment that you were going to be living in for the next year, it was the first time you’d ever seen it.
You had found the listing on the Facebook marketplace for the area, looked at a couple of pictures, and signed the lease agreement online - all without knowing what you were really in for. You’d been informed that you’d have a roommate when you’d contacted the landlord, but she hadn’t mentioned a thing about the person other than that. All she really said was “no pets, no smoking, and one month’s rent for the security deposit. You had told yourself that it didn’t really matter what the situation was as long as the other person wasn’t outwardly malicious and the place wasn’t infested with pests or anything, even though you knew it mattered a little.
An audible sigh of relief left your lips when you pulled into the apartment parking lot and found that your new home looked well kept. The building had old, slide-up windows, but the brick siding was clean, and the shrubs that lined the property were trimmed and neat. You and your back seat stuffed to max capacity with house plants had made it - and with only a bit of sleep deprivation and caffeine jitters for damages.
After you got out of the car, you grabbed your very favorite potted cactus and found your way into the building, meandering down the dim hall until you came upon the door marked 6. You hadn’t been given a key yet, so you knocked with your free hand and waited until you heard someone shuffling around inside.
You would be lying if you said you weren’t nervous - obviously, you were - but more than anything you were excited. Anxious, maybe? That seemed like the right word.
The door opened to reveal a boy, around your age, hair a mess of curls on the top and shorn tighter to the sides of his head. You were immediately taken aback by the depth in his eyes, chocolatey and warm.
“What’s up?” he asked casually, leaning against the door frame, a pair of old-school headphones dangling from his hand.
You frowned at him slightly, suddenly terrified you’d gotten the wrong apartment number. You weren’t sure how you’d live with that embarrassment, especially if you had to live next door to him - you’d just be that stupid girl that didn’t even know where she lived. “Oh, I think I’m your new roommate? This is number six, right?” You peered around the other side of the open door, just to confirm.
A beaming grin spread over his soft face, showing you his blindingly white teeth and the deepest pair of dimples you’d ever seen. “Oh, cool, yeah. Come on in.”
He stepped aside, giving a dramatically flourished bow as a gesture for you to enter. You obliged, and even though this was your new house too, you paused and waited as he shut the door behind you.
“Sorry, I was expecting you yesterday, so.” He trailed off with a sheepish smile and then extended his free hand to you. “Anyway, I’m Josh.”
You shifted your cactus to one arm so you could shake his hand. “Y/N. Yeah, sorry, it took me longer than I expected to get here. Which is why my stuff apparently showed up before I did.”
You eyed around the apartment, spotting boxes of your things in piles. The original plan your parents had come up with was to have you rent a U-Haul, but since you’d never driven anything bigger than your Camry, you had quickly shot that idea down. After some expert negotiating, they had agreed to hire a moving company. You hadn’t had the balls to ask what a service like that had set them back - decided instead that it was better if you didn’t know.
“Oh yeah,” he replied, rubbing at the back of his neck. “It all showed up yesterday at like noon. One of the boxes was open a little, and I saw records so I looked through them to make sure you weren’t some kind of freak.”
It was more of a statement than a warning, and the smile he gave you showed not even a shred of an apology so you just smiled back. “Find anything you like?”
He turned on his heel and headed into the kitchen - connected to the living room by a huge square archway. “Your music taste is,” He paused, opening a cupboard and pulling down two mismatched glasses. “Eclectic.”
You laughed at him, bending to gently set your plant down on a side table. “That’s true.”
“But I found plenty I could listen to, so I guess you’re okay. You want some juice?” he asked as he held up a paper carton of store brand orange juice
.
“That would be lovely,” you agreed, standing stick straight the way you did when in the presence of new company. “My dad used to take me to a lot of thrift stores and we’d go home with a minimum of two records per trip.”
“I love thrifting,” he said simply, giving you an alarmingly serious look. “There are three here, I think. Every once in a while you can find something really worth keeping. I have kind of a ‘catch and release’ policy where if I don’t instantly know what I’m going to do with an item, I leave it there, but I think - like - a third of my wardrobe is from thrift stores.”
You listened, feeling oddly entranced by the way he was handing you thoughts as they came to him. There was something truly honest about it - a quality people back home didn’t seem to have. It was charming.
He brought your glass of juice to you and then motioned to the rest of the apartment. “You want the grand tour of Casa De Joshua-” He gave you a pointed look and a cheesy grin. “And Y/N?”
You breathed a laugh at him, nodding as you sipped. “Please.”
“Okay, try not to get lost - this is obviously the living room. I do most of my living here as the name would suggest. I found this couch on the side of the road - actually almost all of my furniture is adopted.” As he explained, he was gesturing to items like Vanna White.
The couch looked. Well-loved. You could tell just at a glance that it was probably past it’s prime when Josh had stumbled upon it, but it did look comfortable, and it wasn’t like you had a couch to offer, so you were happy with it.
“I have this TV but it’s really only for movies and stuff because I’m twenty-two and I’d rather die than pay for cable. But there are literally hundreds of DVDs in the TV stand that you are welcome to peruse at your leisure,” he informed, his hands gesturing almost arbitrarily as he talked.
You followed as he moved on through the archway. “This is the kitchen. All of the food lives here. There’s lots of stuff, but I try to just make two bigger meals per day. I don’t have a real ice tray so I’ve been using a chocolate mold- Well anyway, our ice will be in the shape of wiener dogs.”
You were shocked at the laugh that escaped you, genuine and uncontrolled. He grinned over at you, clearly also surprised - but pleased with himself for getting the reaction he was aiming for.
“I think I can live with that.”
“Good,” he agreed simply, giving you a new kind of smile - something sweeter. After a beat, he motioned down the hall with his eyes, letting you lead. “The bathroom is this way. The water takes like three or four minutes to get hot. I realized that I have a lot of products for some reason, but I condensed them all into this one area in the corner just in case my new roommate was a girl, and you are so that’s great. I’ll probably get a shelf.”
There was a proud quality to his voice like he felt gentlemanly for letting you have all the space you needed. For some reason, that made you feel warm and fuzzy.
“And what if your new roommate had been a boy?” you inquired with a smirk.
He put a finger on his chin, taking on a contemplative look for you. “Hmm. Then I guess I slowly would have moved my stuff back to the cabinet - probably just one thing per day so he wouldn’t notice. Unless he had a lot of makeup or something, then I’d just let him have it.”
He grinned as you teasingly shook your head.
“This way is the sleeping quarters. My room is there on the right and yours to the left.”
You stepped into your new room and let a sigh of relief. Two huge windows took up a lot of the far wall, framed underneath by large sills. The space was bright and roomier than you’d pictured. Your bed was set up in the very middle of the room, but you already knew exactly where you wanted it to go. For some reason, you had been concerned that you wouldn’t like the space, but it was kind of perfect.
“This is great,” you breathed, turning to him and giving him a sly grin. “Wanna give me a hand moving my furniture around?”
He pretended to consider for a moment until you spoke again.
“My mom sent money for pizza while I get stuff unpacked,” you said coyly. “If you needed any convincing.”
He laughed, showing you his teeth. “You drive a hard bargain. Okay, I’ll help as long as I get to look through your stuff while we move it.”
You gave him a questioning look, earning a one-shouldered shrug in return. He looked benign enough standing there, propped against the door frame with a goofy upturn to his lips, so you relented.
“Deal,” you agreed.
You were positive you would not have been able to move stuff without his help. For being a slender boy, he seemed to easily be able to get things where they needed to be. He dutifully helped you shove your furniture into place - your bed against the window wall, your desk and vanity on the wall with your closet door. Then, bless his little heart, he helped you move it all again when you decided you didn’t like the arrangement (but not without some light griping).
One by one, you brought in your boxes from the living room and you allowed him to poke through them, perched on your bed. He flipped through your books, thumbing pages of ones that piqued his interest - you could only imagine that he was already planning on borrowing some of them. He reacted similarly to your framed photos, as he unwrapped them from their packing paper.
When you got your record player set up, he put on a vinyl and started to hang your art prints on the wall where you instructed him to. The look of concentration on his face was rather endearing as he held a few nails between his teeth and hammered them into the wall, one by one. There was a time or two you were convinced that he was going to mutilate his thumb, but he didn’t, and when the last picture was hung, you breathed a sigh of relief.
You called in a pizza, adorned with his requested toppings as you hung your clothes into your closet, your phone tucked against your ear and shoulder for maximum efficiency.
Plants collected on your bed until there was no more room for them - after that, he started setting them on the floor as he brought them in from your car. He didn’t seem to be judging the sheer amount of them, even though he had every right to.
“It’s going to look like a jungle in here,” he stated finally as he took a bite out of a slice of pizza that he was holding like a taco, his eyes raking over all of the foliage scattered around your room. Rather than sounding like he was teasing, his tone seemed excited.
You grinned at him, starting to arrange them on the window sill and your bookshelf that had only ever served you as a plant shelf since you’d bought it. “Plants are my passion. Botany major,” you explained as you fluffed up your Monstera’s huge leaves.
“Ooh.” He raised his eyebrows at you, pulling one of his legs up underneath him on your bed - now fitted with sheets. “I think that’s going to be nice. Give it some life in here.”
You grabbed another slice from the pizza box on your nightstand and tried to think of the right tone of voice to use to ask the next question. “How long have you lived here by yourself?”
He hummed, eyes flicking around distantly as he thought. “Well, I’ve lived here just over a year, and my first roommate dropped out and moved back home about...six months ago?”
“Have you been lonely? You seem like a social guy.” You gave him an empathetic look but he just shrugged at you. You hadn’t known him long enough to know for sure, but you suspected he was more affected than he was letting on.
“I mean, a little lonely. But I got used to it for the most part.” He paused for a good couple of seconds before a smile spread across his lips. “And Penny’s kept me company.”
“Oh, does your girlfriend stay here too?” you prompted, trying to remember if you’d seen any feminine looking items lying around that weren’t yours.
“What? No,” he said under a chuckle and stood, gesturing for you to follow him across the hall.
The second you walked through the doorway, you were met with the smell of incense sticks and linen. His room was dimmer than yours and kind of cramped with all of his mismatching furniture, but he had a huge bed - you thought it could easily fit three people in it. There were some clothes strewn about around a laundry hamper by the door and you tried to not be jealous that his closet seemed to be about twice the size of yours.
He crossed the room to crouch in front of a coffee table that he seemed to be using as a catch-all. The varnish was worn off the top of it in rings because sitting on the coffee table was a globe of water and a calico colored goldfish swimming around aimlessly inside of it.
“Ah, so this is Penny,” you giggled as you bent over next to him. When the fish spotted him, it rose to the surface of the water, opening its mouth in demand for food.
He grinned down at it. “Light of my life. We’re not allowed to have pets but I figured that a fish didn’t count.”
You hummed, admittedly a bit charmed by the whole situation. “But don’t goldfish require a lot of space?”
The smile fell from his face, adopting a level of concern you hadn’t yet seen from him as he peered over at you. “Do they?”
Immediately, you felt guilty for putting that look on his features. Your brain kick-started - trying to think of a way to make it right again. “I think so? Maybe we can find her a small tank? Put a few little plants in there for her?”
Josh nodded at you, stroking his fingers over the glass with a frown. “I’m a bad dad.”
“No, no!” you assured, putting your hand on his head but then removing it instantly when you realized that you didn’t really know him, he’d just already made you feel like you did. Either way, you figured it would be inappropriate to touch him. “You’re great. She looks really happy.”
“She’s great at begging for food, so don’t get tricked,” Josh instructed after a moment, seemingly able to put his concerns aside to jest you.
You nodded in agreement. “I’ll be ever vigilant,” you promised, making him smile again.
He stood back up, so you did as well.
“Well, I’ll give you some time to get comfortable in your room,” Josh said, sitting back on his bed. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”
“I promise I will,” you assured, tapping your hand on the doorframe on your way out.
By the time the sun was set, your room was shockingly well put together. The emotional rollercoaster that was the album Rumors helped you keep on task, losing yourself in the music so it didn’t feel like work at all. You hadn’t been expecting it to come along so quickly, but you guessed that was because you hadn’t anticipated such a friendly roommate. The nesting had always been your favorite part, so you took your time to enjoy placing out all your knick-knacks and photos.
You took a break to shower when you decided you were done for the day, reveling in the feeling of the water after such a long time in your car - He was absolutely right about how long it took to warm up from ice cold. When you got out and changed into your pajamas, Josh was sitting in the living room with a laptop across his legs.
“You wanna chill?” he asked when he heard you padding down the hall, shutting the lid of it and setting it on a side table. “Or if you’re too tired, that’s okay too.”
“No, no. I’d love to talk.” You sat next to him, leaving a comfortable amount of room between you as you pulled your knees up to your chin. “Tell me more about yourself,” you requested, tugging a blanket from a beat-up wicker basket on the floor and wrapping it around your body.
“Hmm, okay,” he started. You wondered how long it had been since he had to introduce himself to someone new. “I’m from a tiny little town here in Michigan. I’m the oldest of four - two brothers and a sister. My brother, Jake, also attends MU and lives just off campus.”
You frowned at him. “Wait, why wouldn’t he live with you?” you asked through a disbelieving laugh.
“He lived with me long enough,” Josh explained in a humored tone. “There are only so many people where I’m from and well - we wanted to meet new people, you know?”
“I guess I should be grateful for that.”
“Yeah, probably,” he teased and then paused to think. “I’m in performing arts - I’m actually putting on a production around Christmas with some elementary school kids.”
You suppressed the aww that was threatening to pass your lips. “You like kids?”
He beamed you a smile, shaking his head. “Love them. I want to have like ten of them someday.”
The thought of him surrounded by kids made you soften. You were genuinely shocked about how easy he was to talk to - how easy he was to like. You had never thought in a million years you’d get along with your roommate so well, let alone the first day meeting them.
“I hope you get to,” you said as genuinely as you could muster, prompting him to give you a grateful smile.
A yawn escaped you before you could hide it, and you quickly breathed an apology, but he just waved you off.
“You must be exhausted from that drive,” he said, his voice soft. “You should get some sleep.”
You nodded in agreement and gave him a thankful smile. “Is it okay if I sleep out here?”
The look on his face was quizzical, forcing a laugh from you. “Why would you do that?”
“I have this tradition where whenever I’m in a new place, I always sleep in the living room on the first night. It’s good luck.”
“Whatever you say.” His lips pulled back into an unconvinced smirk. “Well, yeah, you live here now too, so you can sleep wherever you’d like.”
He disappeared into his room for only a moment before popping his head back out, fingers wrapped around the door frame.
“Do you mind if I join you?”
You tried not to look too taken aback by the question, but you could feel your cheeks flushing warm. You raked your eyes along the couch, entirely positive that there wasn’t enough space for the two of you to lay out on it together fully - at least, not without being pressed flush against one another. However, his face looked innocent and soft - not a single tint of mischief colored across his features.
“Yeah, that-. I guess that’s okay,” you agreed sheepishly with a shrug. “But I’m not sure we’ll both fit if I’m being honest.”
He frowned questioningly at you, his brows lacing together until he realized what you thought he meant. His face instantly turned a light shade of pink to match yours. “No, no,” he quickly assured in between a breathy laugh. “I’m not going to sleep with you - I’ll take the recliner.”
“Oh, right.” You gave a nervous laugh of your own, cursing yourself out in your head for being so dull.
You were still well embarrassed as you made a nest of blankets on the couch and he brought out a pillow for you when you realized yours were still tucked deep in your bag of bedding. When each of you was situated on your respective pieces of furniture, he flicked the light off with a comfortable sigh.
It was silent for a moment before he spoke again, his voice taking on a tone that was far too smug for your liking. “You were awfully quick to agree to sleep next to me. You don’t have a crush on me, do you?”
You knew he was teasing, but your heart rate still managed to pick up under the pressure. You had never been particularly good with awkward social situations; you rolled your eyes in the dark, thankful he couldn’t see how red you were. “No, Josh. I do not have a crush on you.”
“Okay,” he said through a melodic laugh, and you got the feeling that he’d gotten the reaction he was aiming for from you. “Should we be best friends though?”
You snorted a laugh of your own, wanting to be annoyed at how likable he was, but falling short. “You are the most peculiar person I’ve ever met, I think.” You curled up, clutching your blanket tight to your body. “But yes. We can be friends.”
“Okay, cool - I’ll order matching t-shirts for us.” You could hear the pleased grin he was wearing, making you feel warm and cozy. You pulled the worn blanket up to your chin.
“See to it that you do.”
Author’s Note: okay, I hope you guys like it! please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list or removed from it. I’m using the same taglist from my Jake!fic, so no hard feelings if you don’t want to be tagged!
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hi, do you think you could do another blurb for ethan? maybe something nsfw? like, a party hookup? im thinkin about fratboy!ethan 👁👄👁
(wc: 5.5k) pls im always thinking about fratboy ethan :,) but yes i can do this 100 % ! this ask prompted something deep in me and i ended up making a playlist to go with it as well 🤧here’s the link to that if ur interested https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4yXuVtAKBHexm5ifE9NQ2B ! A L S O i’m sorry this took forever to get to ,,,, life has been a lot recently lol . reblogs are always appreciated ! <3
AYO LOOK AT THESE ! : smut (obvious but still) , sex while under the influence (with explicit consent given) , softdom! ethan , marajuana use , alcohol use , unprotected sex (wrap it b4 u tap it , plz) , swearing , college au , an unus annus reference if u look close enough , and i believe thats it . enjoy ! xoxoxoxo , starlight .
a little party never killed nobody
it was the exact same as every other college party you’d ever been to. shitty music, shittier alcohol, shittiest people- except for him.
when ethan nestor had invited you to a frat party, you’d laughed in his face. you knew that he was a member of data data data, but he wasn’t the type that made it his whole personality. as far as you’d observed, he wasn’t the partying type, either, but there he was, texting you the house address.
“so you’ll come tonight? it’s going to be a pretty big thing- a lot of people coming. you should be able to walk right in, but if anyone gives you shit just tell them you’re with me,” he said, a slight smirk playing on his lips. you and ethan hadn’t been talking for long; technically, you hadn’t even known that he’d existed two weeks ago.
when ethan had first sauntered up to you in physical sciences, that same smirk painting his face, you’d picked up on the underlying chemistry right away. he was a flirt by nature, but he seemed to play it up even more around you- the brunette boy had asked for your number the first day you met, and you’d been talking almost constantly since. he was funny and sweet and extremely charismatic, and he made your heart flip in your chest with the smallest glance. the two of you hadn’t hung out alone yet, so this party felt like a big deal.
or, at least, that's what you’d thought.
when you showed up at the front door of the frat house loud, bass-filled music was already shaking the window panes in their frames, and you could hear what sounded like a hundred different voices all talking over each other. ethan hadn’t been kidding when he said that it was a big party; at least half of your year was here, plus the older and younger students interspersed throughout the throngs of people as well. as you made your way to the kitchen, ethan was nowhere to be found. you felt as if all eyes were on you as you started to pour a drink, and dimly, you wondered if people could tell that you didn’t belong.
however, most of your anxious thoughts had been subdued after the first solo cup of vodka lemonade, and you were now well through your second. the music pounding throughout the house felt as if it had infiltrated your veins, filling them with a warm, buzzing sensation that loosened your limbs. at some point, a guy had come up to chat with you. then another. you weren't sure how many times you’d given out your snapchat tonight, but it had been a lot, and you were about to do it again.
the guy you were currently talking to introduced himself as danny. he was some sort of business major, much like every other guy that you’d spoken with tonight, and was very clearly trying to hit on you. even through the alcohol-induced haze, you remembered who you came here for and you weren't leaving without him. you put a hand on danny’s shoulder, effectively cutting him off in the middle of his sentence.
“hey, do you know where ethan is? ethan nestor, i mean? he’s the one who invited me here.”
danny looked disappointed, but seemed to shift and slot puzzle pieces together in his head, snapping his fingers. “you're the girl he invited? that makes so much sense, actually. yeah, he’s out back- toking up, probably,” he explained, gesturing towards a door you would’ve never noticed. “out there and down the stairs. need an escort?”
you almost denied his advances but spotted an old fling loitering by the hidden door. giving danny a tight smile, you drained the rest of your drink and held up a finger. “one sec! stay here.”
butterflies flooded every inch of your being as you stumbled over to the makeshift bar, pouting a variety of liquors into your cup. you were going to see ethan outside of class. on his turf. something about it shook you to your core, but you couldn’t quite figure out why.
sure, ethan was hot- that was obvious. but he’d been flirty, too. were the two of you a thing? if you weren’t, why had he been talking to danny about 'the girl he was inviting’? clearly, ethan had been talking about you, you just weren't sure of the context. you tried to swallow all these fears as you topped off your cup with lemonade, taking a small sip. trying not to spit it out, you added more juice; you’d made the strongest mixture you could think of, and it tasted like some sort of poison. that didn’t stop you from taking another small sip, then a bigger one. you needed the buzz.
“okay! let's go.”
danny led you out the door and down the stairs with no issue, and you quickly realized how tipsy you were - the stairs seemed to bob and warp under your feet, and you grabbed onto the handrail with a death grip. he noticed this easily, laughing a bit. “are you good?”
“great. it's the heels and alcohol- they don't mix well.” you laughed at yourself, regretting the chunky, heeled boots you’d thrown on.
“you can ditch them, if you want. we’re going out onto a deck, so you won't be in grass or anything,” danny explained, pointing to a pile of shoes by the door you were about to exit. you weren't going to argue with that, thankful that you’d chosen cute socks as you wrestled the footwear off and tossed it onto the pile. your stomach flipped as danny opened the door, cool night air biting into your warm skin, waking you up a bit. the sourish-sweet scent of marijuana flooded the small stairwell, and danny chuckled. “told you he was smoking.”
nothing could’ve prepared you for the way you felt watching ethan take a long drag off of some sort of pen, letting the vapor pour from his lips in pale blue plumes. something about the easy way the smoke seemed to float from his mouth went straight to your center, and you dug your nails into your palms, trying to get yourself under control. ethan finally realized that more people had joined the small crowd on the bench, and his heavy-lidded eyes seemed to light up as they roamed all over you lazily. this only furthered the sensation between your legs, the coils starting to tighten in your lower stomach.
what the hell?
“y/n, you made it,” ethan said, a smile taking over his face. he quickly hopped down from where he’d been sitting on the guardrail and made his way over, wrapping an arm dangerously low around your waist. he hugged you tightly, making your heartbeat stutter as you squeezed him back.
you mumbled a ‘hello’ into his neck as ethan let his touch linger, your body held tightly to his. someone cleared their throat, conversation starting back up, and ethan reluctantly pulled away, dropping his eyes to yours. he kept a hand on the small of your back, sending electricity running up and down your spine. “having fun?”
you could barely talk as you forced yourself to respond. “yeah, lots. you’re a hard person to find.”
ethan grinned again, letting his head fall back as he laughed. “my bad. i thought you would text me when you got here. found someone to take care of you , though?” he asked, cocking an eyebrow. the facial expression did absolutely nothing for the situation building up under your skirt- only worsening your want for the tall boy in front of you.
“who?”
ethan smirked, dropping his lips to your ear. “that's what i like to hear. you look pretty, y/n.”
the way he said your name practically undid you, ripping your self-control apart at the already weakened seams. you let a hand wander up and down one of ethan’s sculpted arms, outlining the planes of muscle through his hoodie as you crossed your legs; sure, it was the ladylike thing to do, but you were desperately looking for some sort of friction, anything to lessen the need for him.
“thank you.”
ethan nodded, the hand that had been perched on your back sliding over your hip before finding your hand. he laced his fingers into yours, and you were shocked at how forward he was being. the two of you had flirted heavily- and okay, maybe you’d sent some suggestive pictures back and forth- but ethan seemed to be claiming you as he led you over to the round table where all his friends were sat. again, you carved half-moons into your palms with your nails as you added up all the chairs- there wasn’t enough. you began to let go of ethan’s hand, ready to boost yourself onto the railing, but he gave your fingers a gentle squeeze. you watched as ethan settled into the overstuffed outdoor chair, gesturing at his lap.
fuck.
you took a brief moment to admire the mess you’d gotten yourself into before you gingerly sat on ethan’s lap, trying to make yourself as small and weightless as humanly possible. that didn’t last long, though. ethan circled an arm over your hips, pulling you onto his lap firmly. you couldn’t breathe as you settled into him, crossing your legs tightly. your lower body was tucked away, hidden under the table, but still. you tucked a small portion of fabric between your thighs, ensuring nothing would slip.
you didn’t say much as ethan continued to conversate with his friends, passing the silvery, skinny device around the table.
soon, the talk turned from school and classes to typical, stuttering stoner laughing; everyone besides ethan and danny seemed to be a complete lightweight, gone after one hit of the cartridge. however, both the boys were on at least their fourth hit and still seemed relatively composed. they’d started to talk about some sort of economic study, and you’d quickly grown bored and confused. after sitting through 10 more minutes of the terminology you didn't understand, you began to wiggle around on ethan’s lap, loosening his grip on you.
at the same moment, you and ethan both shifted in just the right way, causing one of his legs to end up between both of yours just as your hips rolled forward. delicious friction flooded your system, and you bit down hard on your lower lip, trying to stifle a moan. you fought with everything in you not to rock your body again, sensation overwhelming your impulse control. before you could do anything, one of ethan’s large hands found your hips, squeezing just enough to leave fingerprint-shaped marks on your skin. ethan knew what he’d done- you could hear the satisfaction threaded through his voice.
“you okay? what d’you need?”
you tried to steady your voice, painfully conscious of the people around you. while most of ethan’s friends were high enough that they wouldn’t notice, you knew that danny would pick up on any changes in your demeanor. you swallowed hard before answering him.
“i'm gonna go get another drink.” another gentle squeeze practically lit your skin on fire, and ethan held the pen up to you.
“wanna try this instead?”
you weren’t going to lie- you’d been a bit jealous of the boys, not even thinking of passing the device to you. with shaky hands, you reached to accept the cartridge, but ethan had different plans. a sinful look found its way into his slitted eyes as ethan held the pen up to your lips. “go ahead.”
you could’ve passed out from the command, the look, the way that he’d started to bounce his leg. it was as if he was trying to break you- like he wanted you to give him some sort of sign that you wanted him. you did, more than anything. desire seemed to curl its way into every inch, every cell of your body, its spurs digging into your skin.
you met ethan’s eyes deliberately as you accepted the cold metal into your mouth, inhaling deeply. you took immense pleasure in the look that crossed ethans face as you pulled away with lungs full of the hazy drug. you held your breath for as long as possible before letting the vapor drift from your lips, just as ethan and done earlier. you watched his adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard, his eyes snapping off of yours and over to danny.
“i’m gonna take y/n to get a drink. watch them, will you?” he asked, gesturing to the rest of his friends. danny just nodded, mumbling a low ‘have fun’ as ethan practically lifted you off of his lap. adrenaline coursed through each and every one of your veins and ethan laced his fingers through yours, leading you inside.
ethan barely let the door shut before his hands were on your hips, pinning you to the wall of the small stairwell. his lips met yours roughly, and you couldn’t hold back the whimper that had been building in your throat for the past hour. you felt ethan smirk at the soft noise before he bit at your lower lip, dragging the soft flesh between his teeth. again, you let out a whine full of pleasure- he just felt so good. you let your arms circle ethans neck, one of your hands knotting in his dark hair. you pulled at the roots gently as ethan’s tongue rolled against yours, your body entirely succumbing to him.
he forced himself to pull off of your body, and you let out a small whine; you’d been waiting on this. ethan smirked, his laugh coming out dark and much raspier than usual. “don’t worry doll, i'm not done with you yet. just can't have you here.”
the words went right through you, only adding to the ache between your thighs. ethan took your hand with a profound gentleness, and dropped a soft kiss on your forehead. “before this even starts, are you sure?”
you nodded eagerly, getting up on your tiptoes to recapture his lips, but ethan pulled back. you furrowed your eyebrows at the tall boy, confused- until he brought a hand up to your face, holding your jaw. ethan tilted your head up, forcing you to meet his eyes. “i need words, baby. are you positive? i can-”
“so sure. i promise.” you nodded at him, your eyes never leaving his. “i want you.”
ethan swore under his breath and kissed you hard before leading you up the stairs. you started to feel the effects of the drug as ethan took you from kitchen to living room, up some stairs… you lost track of all the places you’d been, allowing the weed to cloud everything in a gauzy veil. you felt good; light and somehow heavy at the same time, and you enjoyed the way that everything seemed to slow down. finally, ethan opened a door and pulled you in behind him. you realised where you were- his room. it smelled like ethan, like citrus and musk and something you could only describe as boy.
you let out a small giggle as ethan reached for a remote, colored lights dousing the room in a sultry red glow. “setting the mood?”
quickly, you were shut up in the best possible way. ethan kissed your roughly, all teeth and tongue and hands everywhere as he backed you against one of his walls. you let yourself get lost in him, basking in the warmth of your hunger for him. one of ethan’s cold hands made its way under your shirt, the other holding your jaw in place as he bit into your bottom lip once again, making you whine.
“feel good?” ethan asked, breathlessly. you could hear the smirk in his voice, but you couldn’t help the way your back arched at the simple question. your nails dug into his shoulder as ethan slid his thumb under the band of your bra, and he let out a rough moan, managing to undo the clasp with one hand. ethan pulled away from you long enough to rid you of your shirt, discarding your bra on the floor as well while you practically ripped his hoodie off, desperate to feel his skin against your own. he clearly wanted the same, judging by the way he wrapped an arm around your back, pulling you flesh against his chest.
ethan managed to capture both of your wrists in one of his hands, pinning them above your head. you were unfamiliar with the feeling of being restrained, but the sensation seemed to send your heart thrumming even faster. he kissed you until your lips were sore and your knees were weak before finally dropping his forehead to yours. ethan took his chance, letting his eyes roam all over you and you watched his pupils grow larger until his eyes were practically black. “jesus fuck, y/n. you’re beautiful.”
your voice came out high and breathy as you responded. “ ‘could say the same about you.” you were practically panting, your body no longer responding to your mind as your back arched. ethan let out a hard breath.
“do you know what you do to me?”
your eyes fluttered shut as ethan’s lips met the sensitive skin of your neck, his tongue exploring the delicate flesh. he quickly found your weak spot and focused his attention there; he let his teeth gently sink into your skin, making you gasp before using his soft tongue to soothe the spot. he repeated this process all over your neck, sucking on your flesh when he found a sweet spot. you knew that you’d be covered in purple-blue bruises, but you’d wear them proudly- that was ethan’s motivation for marking you up.
ethan trailed soft, wet kisses all the way down your neck to your collarbones, groaning at the way you pushed your chest toward him. he hesitated, but started kissing back up your neck, your jaw, back up to your lips. he released his grip on your wrist and you quickly cupped his face in your hands, kissing him with everything in you. you wanted the boy to feel the way you wanted him, and you knew he could as his lips seemed to slow, the kisses getting deeper and deeper. you lost yourself completely in ethan, unsure of where he started and you ended. you could feel his heartbeat against your own, the two thumping rapidly, almost erratic.
the two of you stayed pressed up against each other, your back firmly against the wall for a while, until ethan finally pressed a soft kiss to your cheek. “bed?”
you nodded eagerly, wanting the boy all over you. the two of you stumbled, half kissing over to the mattress, falling together. ethan quickly situated himself on top of your body, caging you in between his arms. he began kissing down your body at a torturously slow pace, tracing the dark marks he’d already left with his soft tongue, driving you insane. ethan took his time working down to your breasts, finally taking one of your sensitive nubs into his mouth. you let out an almost guttural moan at the sensation, pleasure overwhelming your senses. ethan hummed at your reaction, only intensifying the feeling. you tangled a hand in his hair, the other digging into his back, leaving long, red scratches on his pale skin.
ethan swirled his tongue around your bud, taking extreme pride in the way you let your head fall back against the mattress, moans of his name spilling from your lips. he tucked an arm under the arch of your back, pulling your body even closer to him- he didn’t want any space dividing the two of you. ethan pulled off of your puffy nipple with a soft moan, wasting no time in kissing over your chest, pulling the other into his mouth. he covered your chest in dark, deep bruises, admiring his work under the sensual glow of the red lights. “so pretty..”
you couldn’t form full sentences to respond with, just broken moans and pleads and tugs on his hair. ethan found it endearing, the way you wanted him so badly. he couldn’t help but give you what you needed.
he kisses hastily down your body leaving small lovebites here and there on your ribs, your stomach. ethan hooked his thumbs in the waistband of your skirt and pressed a kiss to the exposed skin right above the fabric. “this okay?”
“yes, i- please,” you pleaded, lifting your hips to make it easier. ethan got rid of the piece of clothing, discarding it on his bedroom floor, quickly followed by your panties. he let out a throaty moan, his eyes working over you lazily, like he had all the time in the world. he admired your body until you wriggled underneath him, needing some sort of stimulation.
“what do you want, baby?”
“you,” you whined, desperation weaving through your voice. ethan pressed gentle, warm kisses on your hip bones, fighting a laugh.
“i know that. what specifically?”
“fuck, ethan. anything, just touch me. please.”
“okay, okay. and you're positive this is alright?”
“yes. i’m so sure. i swe-” your words died in the back of your throat as ethan pressed his thumb to your clit, rubbing small, soft circles. “holy fuck.”
“already so worked up,” ethan mumbled, pressing kisses to your inner thighs. “this because of me?”
you were taken aback by the way your high seemed to multiply the pleasure by tens of thousands- ethan was barely touching you and you could feel your high approaching quickly. you couldn’t find the words to answer him as ethan shifted between your legs, giving himself a better view of your sex. “does that feel okay?”
a stream of swears left your lips as ethan quickened his pace, hooking one of your legs over his shoulder. “so fucking good, just like that.” the knots in your stomach continued to tighten as you balled the sheets in your fist, tugging at his hair with the other hand.
ethan pressed a kiss dangerously low on your hip, looking up at you. “can i?”
your hips bucked at the tone of his voice, and you nodded vigorously. ethan kept his eyes on yours as he ran his tongue through your folds, lapping your arousal up. he couldn’t help but groan at the taste of you, the way you pulled at his hair, putting his mouth where you wanted it before letting your head fall back onto his bed. ethan started to suck at your sensitive bud, rolling his tongue over the bundle of nerves and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer.
“i- fuck- i’m close.”
he hummed, the vibrations sending you over the edge. your eyes rolled back into your head while you tugged at his hair, your orgasm completely undoing you- the high only added to the sensation, making it that much better. your hips bucked under the skillful work of his soft tongue as ethan let you ride out your high on his face.
ethan dropped a gentle kiss on your clit before peppering your entire body with them, giggling at the way you squealed. he finally attached his lips to your neck, your jaw, back to your lips. you kissed him hard, tasting yourself off of him. finally, when your exhaustion won out you pulled away, running your hands through ethan’s fluffy hair.
“how was that?”
you propped yourself up on your elbows, pecking ethan’s lips. “so, so good,” you mewled between heavy breaths. ethan bit down on his lower lip and smiled, pride filling his system.
“god, you look good moaning my name. you're beautiful, you know,” he said, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. ethan looked at you with a tenderness in his eyes, placing another kiss on your lips. “think you can go again?”
ethan started trailing down your body again, not waiting for an answer. he was laser focused on pleasuring you, making you whine and whimper for him- only for him. before he could get far, though, you were grabbing at his arm and shaking your head. he flushed, peeling away from you while starting to profusely apologize, but you pressed a finger to his lips.
“want you. inside of me,” you explained between pants, still exhausted from the first round of stimulation. ethan threw his head back, swearing.
“jesus christ, y/n. need me that bad, baby?”
his choice of words drowned you in desire, and you were all his. “yes. please, ethan?”
he wanted to fuck you until all you could do was moan his name just like that, over and over again. before you could process what was happening ethan had his hands all over you, roaming your body as he practically drooled at the sight before him: your already fucked out body, the sweet look painting your face, begging for him. ethan could barely control himself, his words coming out as rough murmurs.
“protection? i mean, i have it.”
you bit at your lip, hard. you were on birth control, and you wanted him- all of him.
shaking your head, you explained. “birth control. we’ll be fine, if you’re comfortable.”
you jumped as ethan moved a finger to your entrance, dipping into your sex. he groaned at the way you clenched around the appendage, his cock jumping in his boxers. “want my cum inside you?”
“yes- fuck, ethan, please,” you begged, reduced to nothing. all you wanted; all you needed was him inside you, ruining your body until you couldn’t take anymore pleasure.
“so tight,” he mumbled, lining another finger up. you bucked your hips, the sensitivity almost too much as he stretched you out, watching the way your face contorted under his influence. ethan placed a large hand low on your abdomen, applying light pressure. “if you can’t take this, you won’t be able to take me.”
you nodded, pace almost desperate for him to continue. “feels good baby. so good.”
you took note of the pleased expression that stretched over ethan’s face as you praised the boy- you were just telling the truth, but clearly he liked to hear what a good job he was doing. ethan brought his thumb up to your clit, rubbing tight circles on the bundle of nerves and you grabbed at his wrist, nails digging into skin.
“gonna make me cum again,” you warned, but ethan only smiled at you, nodding almost condescendingly.
“wanna finish on my fingers, pretty girl?”
you wanted to say no, wait to come undone around him, but his movements felt too good. you dug your nails into his arm even harder, your other hand clawing into ethan’s soft sheets as the knots in your stomach came undone, your walls contracting around his fingers tight enough to make him moan.
ethan let his pace slow, extending your orgasm as you practically rode his hand, crying out in absolute euphoria as he increased pressure on your clit. unable to form words, you released your grasp on the boy’s arm, bringing your hand up to his face instead. you pulled ethan’s lips down to meet yours, whining at the feeling of his clothed cock grinding against your center.
ethan couldn’t take it anymore, quickly ridding himself of the soft sweatpants. you watched as his manhood sprung up, hitting his abdomen; the sight in and of itself enough to make you let out another bliss-filled noise. ethan let his eyes fall to yours as he stroked himself, shuddering at the heavenly friction. again, his voice came out low as he lined himself up with you.
“sure?”
far beyond words, you nodded and laced your fingers through his.
ethan returned your grasp with a sweet squeeze, gliding the tip of his cock through your folds- coating himself in your arousal. the two of you moaned in sync; a sweet, satisfied sort of harmony. finally, ethan pushed into you slowly, gasping at the feeling. you couldn’t help the way your eyes rolled back into your head, the feeling of him inside you almost too much.
“you okay?”
“so good,” you breathed, trying not to yelp at the feeling spreading through your lower body. ethan was well endowed- the biggest you’d ever taken- and it was an addictive sort of pain. he moved slowly, stopping a few times; allowing you to adjust around his length. when he’d bottomed out, ethan let his head fall back, groans escaping his throat.
“so fucking tiny,” he gasped, a groan cutting his statement off. “feel so good around me, gorgeous.”
you nodded at him, trying your best to meet ethan’s eyes as you praised the boy. “so fucking big- you feel so good,” you whined, your hips bucking. “want you so bad.”
a breathless laugh escaped ethan’s lungs as he maneuvered a hand behind one of your thighs, lifting your leg to hook over his shoulder. he pushed even deeper into you and black spots began to crowd the sides of your vision, the pleasure overwhelming. slowly, ethan started to pull out of you, eliciting filthy words and moans from you before he slid his length back in.
“fucking hell, y/n. so tight,” he said, voice tipping up into a whimper at the end. he quickened his pace, the noise of sleeping skin filling the room. you could barely contain yourself, no longer fighting the stream of murmurs and swears leaving your lips as ethan continued to pump in and out of you. your next orgasm was already building, the coils tightening rapidly in your lower belly.
ethan let his hand wander down to your sensitive bud, almost coming undone at the sight of your eyes fluttering shut. you traced up his forearm, scraping at his sweet skin before knotting your fingers in his hair, tugging at the roots.
“eyes open, baby. look at me.”
you could’ve cum then and there, the instructions only turning you on further. you forced your eyes open, meeting his as ethan sped up again. an almost animalistic noise left your throat as ethan thrusted into you roughly- you weren’t going to be able to hang on much longer. ethan felt the way your walls were clenching around him, fluttering and tightening as he increased his speed on your clit.
“close?” he asked, unable to say much more than that. your grip around him was euphoric- he was closer than he’d like to be. it hadn’t been more than 20 minutes, but with the way you were pulling at his head, almost crying in completely bliss, ethan wanted to fill you to the brim with his cum then fuck it into your sensitive pussy, overstimulating the sweet flesh.
you nodded, humming a small “mhm,” as you looked at him with wide eyes. ethan paused for a moment, shifting your leg up even higher onto his shoulder before plunging back into you. you felt the head of his cock hit a new, even more delicious spot and you became almost delirious. looking at him with furrowed eyebrows, you felt a tear crawl down your cheek.
“gonna cum, ethan-”
“fuck- me too. let go, baby.”
your entire body seemed to shake and shudder under the force of your orgasm- it hit you like a fucking train. you felt ethan’s thrusts get sloppier as he buried himself inside you, his head dropping to the crook of your neck. he whimpered as he shot his cum deep into your pussy, the sensation all consuming. the two of you stayed like that for a while- riding out your highs with each other, rough moans turned to honey-sweet mewls.
as your heart rate started to come down, you peppered the boy's face with soft, careless kisses: ones that he gladly returned. ethan finally found your lips, pressing tender, long kisses to the swollen skin.
“you’re a fucking god,” you murmured, stressing the word as ethan’s face flushed even hotter than it already had been.
“that,” he huffed, breathing still hard and uneven, “would be you.”
you giggled at the statement, your voice hitching as ethan slowly pulled out of you. you could feel a mixture of him and you spill out, the substance flowing over your things as ethan kissed down your body, taking in the sight between your legs.
“so pretty, baby,” he whispered, sinking a long finger into your pussy. your whole body spasmed at the feeling, completely overstimulated. ethan pulled out of you softly, watching the way his cum seemed to spill out of you endlessly. he placed small, delicate kisses to the marks he’d left covering your thighs, admiring his work. “can i keep you here for the night?” he asked, eyes turning affectionate.
you nodded at the boy as he came back up to meet your lips, then your forehead. as you settled onto his chest, drawing lazy patterns on his skin, ethan's voice seemed to return to normal.
“such a good girl.”
#ethan nestor#crankgameplays#crank gameplays#smut#ns/fw#ask#anon#request#writing#blurb#fic#college au#ethan#nestor#starlight-writes-stuff#aight thats it#love u drink water
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「𝐚-𝐳 𝐚𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬」
— john suh
a; aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
johnny's aftercare is different depending on his mood. if he's feeling more tired then he prefers to just cuddle with you, caress your body and shower you in kisses. also always asks you if you're ok and if you need anything. but if he's feeling more touchy and loving then he goes all out. picks you up, carries you to the bathroom, takes a bubble bath with you and tucks you in bed with him. he just has to make sure you're alright and taken care of
b; body part (their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
i feel like he is really proud of his arms, specially his biceps. he worked hard on them and likes to show them off. it's really hard for him to pick just one thing that he loves most about you but if he really really had to choose, i think he would say your eyes. he absolutely loves getting lost in them
c; cum (anything to do with cum basically)
even tho he really likes cuming inside you, he just loooves seeing his cum over your body so he has a special love for cuming over your tummy, specially if you collect some with your finger and then lick it off of it. he can get hard all over again just from seeing you do that. i also feel like he cums quite a bit which is more prone to make a mess and i don't really think he minds
d; dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
not that is a secret or that he's ashamed of it, because let's be honest, johnny is super open and will never get awkward when it comes to sex but he has a huge thing for seeing you touching yourself, specially if you weren't expecting him to see it. he loves peeking through the door, seeing your body squirming on the bed, your little fingers playing with your clit or sliding inside you, so desperate because you can't pleasure yourself like he can. and if you moan his name… he might just cum in his pants. he always asks you to touch yourself whenever he's away too. if you're doing a video call and he's horny, he always ends up asking you to touch yourself for him, which you always shyly do, because he can be sooooo persuasive
e; experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
i think most people might think that johnny has had many partners but to be honest, i feel like he only has sex, or at least he prefers to have sex when he's in a relationship. so he probably hasn't had more than 5 or 6 partners. but he is experienced and he definitely knows what he's doing. he takes time to learn what his partners want and need and he makes sure to fulfill their fantasies the best that he can
f; favourite position (goes without saying)
johnny loves missionary for the simple fact that he gets to look into your eyes, kiss you and feel you close to him while he's fucking you. but he also loves any other position where he's able to demonstrate his strength, so fucking you against the wall or thrusting into you while you ride him, any position where he can basically pick you up or be the one in control
g; goofy (are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
he's definitely the type to joke around or give you a few playful smiles and smirks during sex. johnny doesn't take himself too seriously and doesn't mind some playfulness during the act, it's actually a big part of his charm. he likes teasing you by making playful remarks if he sees that you're getting too desperate and needy and loves seeing how blushy you get from it. it also adds to his cockiness during sex
h; hair (how well groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
i feel like he takes good care of himself but doesn't go overboard. likes trimming it nicely and keep everything neat but i feel like he hates the way it looks all shaved up, so he never does that
i; intimacy (how are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
like i've mentioned, johnny needs to be in a relationship most of the time to have sex, so he likes being intimate with his partners. it's so much more meaningful and important to him if he's in love too. johnny likes to switch it up when it comes to sex and he likes slow and romantic sex just as much as rough sex. he loves setting the mood, specially if it's a special day, and having soft music playing, wine or champagne, silk sheets, dimmed lights, the whole thing. he's not afraid to show his more sensitive side and be gentle and loving for the night. when he's feeling like this, expect to have his lips on you the whole time, and not just on your lips, literally everywhere on your body and his hands too. i also feel like in nights like these, he would spend sooo much time eating you out, that's just something i feel in my guts
j; jack off (masturbation headcanon)
he either does it late at night, when hyuck is already deep asleep or he does in the morning, probably while he takes a shower. he's the type to want to take his time and to edge himself as much as he can so that the orgasm is explosive and makes up for the whole day. he strokes himself slowly and rubs the palm of his hand over his tip until he's sensitive and when he's close to release he likes to stroke fast but stops before he gets the chance to actually cum. i feel like he softly groans and curses while he masturbates because he doesn't wanna be too loud but the sounds that he makes are soooo sexy, i'm telling you
k; kink (one or more of their kinks)
i feel like some of his main kinks are size kink, strength kink, voyeurism, daddy/sir kink, overstimulation [giving], edging [giving and receiving], oral [giving and receiving], spanking [giving], praise [giving and receiving], body worship [giving and receiving], light choking [giving], light face fucking [giving], finger sucking [receiving] and corruption kink [giving]
l; location (favourite places to do it)
i could try to come up with an interesting place but honestly, i don't think there's any other place where johnny likes to fuck more than his bed. not even your bed, no, his bed. he loves to have those memories there and he finds it more intimate and comfortable. not saying that he hasn't fucked you on hyuck's bed because that definitely has happened before, multiple times. i also feel like his second favorite place is his car, whether that is having you ride him on the driver's seat or fucking you in the backseat. honestly he just loves fucking you anywhere that he owns basically
m; motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
there's nothing that gets him more than your shyness. he finds it so cute the way you look away when he makes eye contact with you and the way your cheeks turn into this pretty pink color. or when you start squirming and nervously giggling when he starts kissing down your neck. he gets so turned on by that!
n; no (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
i'm not sure if this is something that he would absolutely not do, since he's very open to experiment anything that you want, but i really don't think he would be into hardcore bdsm. he doesn't mind diving into certain parts of it if it makes you happy but there's other stuff that he's very inclined to say no to
o; oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
he honestly has no preference. he loves giving and receiving oral so much that he really can't pick just one. whether it's having your lips around him, sucking him off as you look up at him with doe eyes or tasting you in his mouth and running his tongue over your folds, he gets off to both of them
p; pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
like i've mentioned before, johnny is the definition of duality when it comes to sex. he loves both rough and passionate sex, depending on his mood, but he would give you both types on the regular. when he's rough he likes to fuck you hard, manhandle you a bit more, change up positions quite a lot, maybe even degrade you a little but when he's feeling soft and romantic he likes to hold you close to his body and will fuck you mainly in missionary position, maybe even with your legs pushed back to your chest, kisses you a lot and is slow and gentle, lots of praising
q; quickie (their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
johnny doesn't really like quickies and they don't happen that often with him. he likes taking his sweet time with you and being able to give you everything you need and he doesn't seem to like how rushed and one sided quickies are
r; risk (are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
he's opened to experiment a lot. as long as it makes you happy, he's willing to try it out. when it comes to risk, the far he's willing to go is fuck you in a semi-public place, but he only does it for the thrill and because he loves to see you trying to contain your moans in and failing. he always ends up having to put his hand in front of your mouth to prevent other people from hearing you
s; stamina (how many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
he's willing to go for as many rounds as you want. he's also really good at keeping it together and it's very rare the time when he cums before you. he aims to please and will make sure you're satisfied before he is. he can go for many rounds if he wants to, it's honestly unbelievable the amount of stamina he has
t; toy (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
i see johnny as the type to own cute vibrators that he can use on you and that you can use on yourself when he's away. sometimes he asks you to send him videos of yourself using them when he's away and this goes hand in hand with that fantasy he has of loving to watch you touch yourself. he loves using them on you specially when he's punishing you. he teasingly thrusts them into you and asks you if it feels as good as his cock does, to which the answer is always no, and he knows that very well
u; unfair (how much they like to tease)
a lot. sometimes he even does it without noticing because it comes so naturally to him. he's a flirty man and, like i've mentioned, likes to see you blush and get shy because of him. his favorite way to tease you is to slowly kiss down your neck and to touch you gently under your clothes until you're a squirming mess and you're begging him for more
v; volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make)
johnny doesn't shy away or tries to hold his moans in. he's not super loud but if he feels like moaning or groaning then he will do it. definitely more of heavy breather and groaner, likes to particularly moan next to your ear because he knows that drives you crazy
w; wild card (get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
you let your body be swallowed by the comfortable sheets of hyuck's bed, johnny's lips trailing wet kisses down your neck as your arms wrap around his neck. "johnny, your bed is right there." you gasped as he sucked the skin of your neck between his lips. "but we're already here." he answered back, moving further south on your body, his hands lifting up your dress so his fingers could slide your panties off, throwing them over hyuck's pillow. you whimpered as you felt his tongue brush against your folds and his eyes looked up at you. "and are you gonna tell me you don't love when haechan finds your dirty panties in his bed? he thinks i don't know but i can hear him jerk off to them at night." he chuckled and the vibrations ran through your body, a desperate whine leaving your lips as he sucked on your clit. "i know he imagines himself licking you up like this." his tongue swirled around your clit and your fingers grabbed onto his hair, your hips bucking up into his mouth. "but this pussy is mine. all mine."
x; x-ray (let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
over average for sure and definitely a little on the thicker side but not too much. he's also circumcised for sure and with a beautiful pink colour at the tip
y; yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
it really depends on how he's feeling but i would say he has a sex drive a little bit over average. likes to have sex about 5-6 times a week and gets specially turned on if you're really needy for him too
z; zzz (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
i've mentioned it in the beginning but he definitely likes to make sure you're taken care of before he zones out. loves to have your head laid on his chest and plays with your hair until you fall asleep. that's when he feels relaxed enough to fall asleep himself
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