#can u guys tell i like goalies

[tangerisms]

recents

[crossbackpoke-check]

yOu'Re gOiNg fOr a LiTeR? | "Habs react to Quebec Maple facts", 10.22.24

[spilledcoffeeonthefloor]

Fans making a youtube video with the title:

"Neil josten when Andrew"

and it's like:

*reporter: Neil Josten! people say Andrew m-

Neil: nope, imma stop u right there. you bring Andrew up again and we're having a big problem here. I'm tired of your never ending self made drama about my teammates.

*reporter, Again: Neil Josten! there has been rumors about your current goalie Andr-

Neil: there has been rumors about your mother as well, actually! people say his son doesn't have a better job to do than making a shit amount of money out of people's private life.

*camera on Neil staring at Andrew in a middle of a warm up before a match.

*camera on Kevin talking to Neil, Neil literally zoning out, then turning his head around and looking for something. kevin sighs, then points toward Andrew in the corner. Neil's face lighting up

*camera on Neil looking at Andrew in the goal when he's standing out for the game and doing a "Andrew smile" soft and proud and literally heart eyes.

*camera on Neil punching a stricker for shoving Aaron.

*camera on Neil turning toward Andrew everytime he scores.

*more Neil staring at Andrew

*another stricker yells something at Andrew mid game,

Neil punching the guy in the guts, twice, walking toward the referrer, snatching a red card before the referrer could even offer it, and punching the stricker dude twice more

*reporter: Neil josten, your goalie Minyard did an excellent performance at this game, do-

Neil: OH MY GOD, RIGHT????? like, wow that was amazing. he is amazing. I've been obsessed with exy since i was a kid, and I've seen really, really great things in exy, but this? that defense? that was the greatest thing I've ever seen. he didn't let a single goal in. like-*endless yapping*

*reporter: Neil josten, how's playing with Minyard?

Neil: good, he keeps me on my knees.

Neil:....

Neil: TOES. HE KEEPS ME ON MY TOES.

*Camera on Neil laughing so hard at something Andrew said with complete deadpan

*a tweet that says "i wish Andrew Minyard would bench press me" and has a "liked by Neil josten" above it.

*Camera on Neil threatening a nurse at the hospital to let her see Andrew, who was hurt mid game.

then again, camera on Neil shouting "ok then I'm buying the fucking hospital"

*Camera on Wymack trying to prevent Neil from buying the hospital

*reporter: Neil josten you look fabulous tonight! can you tell us what brand you're wearing?

Neil: i have not a single idea, Andrew picked it up

reporter: you just wear whatever he picks up for you..?

Neil: yuP.

*Foxes on tv in a quiz show, camera on Neil taking Andrew's coffee mug, taking a sip, put two sugar cubes in it, blowing it a bit to cool down then handing it to Andrew and turning to the host: excuse me what were you saying?

[boytoykevinday]

Exyblr Dashboard Simulator based on what I personally see on sportsblr:

1/?

👑 girlbossriko follow

how many bro jobs do you think it took before riko moriyama and kevin day realized that uh.....maybe this wasn't just a bro thing

👢exyinaphonebooth follow

how many times do they have to come out and say they're like brothers before you freakos stop shipping them

👑 girlbossriko follow

????? do i know u

#it's a tumblr post about two exy players that you'lll never meet in your life it really isn't that deep

558 notes

💃fox-me-up follow

ngl that newest fox is kinda 👀

#psu lb #exy lb

8 notes

👨🏻‍❤️‍💋‍👨🏻 talk-exy-to-me

The NARRATIVE that kevin day and neil josten have........son of exy! scouting the rookie-est of rookies from fuck knows arizona........no listen you dont GET IT winning is EVERYTHING TO KEVIN and he would risk it on the foxes? And NEIL? who has only played exy for a year! NEIL Gets his attention!!!!! And hes good and he's getting better every game and he keeps bitching about kevin's ex on live tv BUT WAIT!???? NOT QUITE WHAT YOU EXPECT! Bc then neil shows up with a number on his cheek BECAUSE WELL it turns out they've known each other since they were KIDS! how is everyone not insane w me THEY'RE LITERALLY PERFECT

#where r my fellow njkd truthers #how r u all not here with me this isnt even the start #kevneil #210 #psu #njkd

102 notes

☀️ usctrojanny

every smiley blonde striker (jeremy knox) needs a brunette wet cat emotional support backliner (jean moreau)

#jerejean #usc trojans #i'm just saying 🤷‍♀️

58 notes

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

did he just......

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

guys please tell me i'm not insane

👸🏻 kevindazed follow

HE'S NEVER BEEN????? SKIIING???? KEVIN WHAT DOES THAT MEAN ?????? KEVIN PLEASE

#i i'm going insane i will literally die if someone doesn't explain this to me HE'S NEVER BEEN SKIING?!!!!

407 notes

🧚 goalie-stan

oh....i'm feeling so weak......it'd sure be nice to have a big strong goalie (renee walker) hold me up (renee if you're free on tuesday i am also free on tuesday.........on tuesday this tuesday, any tuesday?)

#literally passing out just thinking about her holding me don't call don't text i'm busy

84 notes

🌄 softkevinday follow

do u think if u offered kevin day essential oils to heal his hand he'd beat you to death

#it'd be hard for him bc he only has one hand but he could probably do it #legally this is a joke don't do this

284 notes

🗣️ jeremyknoxes follow

feeling normal

215 notes

📜 realexyblog

actually exy rpf is fine, i asked kayleigh day herself and she told me it was fine

112 notes

🐋 sexyexy

'exy is a stupid name for a sport' have you considered that a) i don't care and b) it's named that solely so i can make sex jokes about it

11 notes

🏳️‍🌈 gay4stickball follow

is he, ya know *mimes jerking off* an ncaa exy player

#i don't believe that straight exy players exist

56 notes

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

Andrew Minyard!!!!!!! 🥰🥰 short king!!!!🤏🤏😋😋 Awwwwwwww the scrunkly!!!!! 🤗🤗🤗 My boinky boy!!!!!🥺🥺 Crinkly doo,,,,shronkle scrimblo......🥺🥺🥺 rb if you'd scrunkle!!!!!!! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

📖 sapphic-exy follow

he literally killed someone

🙈 ittybittyminny follow

And? God forbid women do anything

#also no proof he did that #yeah there's proof his twin bro killed someone but that's not the same bc theyre different people #almost killing someone doesnt count

807 notes

🐦‍⬛ edgarallenexy

got told i'm problematic for liking the ravens? THAT'S LITERALLY MY SCHOOL OH MY GOD

2 notes

🌸 softexy

Kevin Day - A Study

#kevin day #psu foxes #palmetto foxes #exy #web weave #poetry #psu foxes #palmetto #edgar allen

378 notes

[huuuuughes]

Mine. - Jeremy Swayman

Summary: Jeremy comes over to beg for your forgiveness, and things quickly take a turn... but not for the worst.

Word count: 3.3k (its short ik im sorry)

WARNINGS: Daddy kink, dirty talk, unprotected sex, bad writing??? idk this is porn OKAY READ AT YOUR OWN RISK. pls dont read if you're under 18 thank u!!

Note: i wrote this awhile ago for goalie week and then a bunch of stuff happened and i kept forgetting to post it bc i started my first full time job a month ago and its kicking my BUTT. anyways thanks for reading :)

You could hear your phone going off from across the room. It was Friday night and the end of a very long work week. Your boss was driving you up the wall and your personal life didn’t seem to be going much better. Your friends were good, you just didn’t get to see them as often as you wanted due to just being adults and everyone having their own full time jobs. 

The one person who was supposed to make your life easier, better even, was the one currently blowing up your phone. You knew exactly who it was, but he deserved to sit there and stew for a while. But as you looked around your apartment while trying to decide what show to numb your mind with, you noticed things of his strewn everywhere. You didn’t live together, not yet anyway, but based on the amount of things you had at each others’ places, you may as well have. 

Your work involved working with many different clients, and making their dreams come true. You were a travel agent, and your boss didn't exactly adhere to the typical 9-5 schedule like a normal job. If you were awake, she expected you to be able to take care of the problem. 

You had already decided long ago that men didn’t always think with their brains. Jeremy was jealous, but of what you had no idea. Did you have a lot of clients who were men who wanted to surprise the lady in their lives? Yes. Did those scumbags also try and make a move on you sometimes? Also yes. But you were a professional, and always conducted yourself as such. As much as you wanted to, it wasn’t your job to fix someone else’s insecurities. You could tell Jeremy that he didn’t need to be jealous until you were blue in the face, but you didn’t know when he was going to get it. You weren’t broken up, but you’d told him you needed a minute for him to calm down. It had been a few days at that point, and you couldn’t deny you were also getting antsy. He may be a stupid guy sometimes, but he was yours.

After what had to be the millionth time of your phone going off with a DING of a text, you made yourself get up off the couch. The last message you had read:

Sway❤️: I know I’m stupid. I need you to know I’m sorry. Can I see you, please? 

After the stressful week you’d had, you wanted nothing more than to feel his familiar warmth around you. The moment he was near you it was like the noise around you calmed down to its lowest level. 

Y/N: I’m at home, you know where to find me. 

Sway❤️: I’m on my way, be there in 20. I love you. 

The next twenty minutes were going to kill you. Your apartment was already cleaned, because you liked to clean when you got anxious as mess only made you more anxious. Your doorman would recognize Jeremy and send him up when he arrived, so you didn’t need to even get up to let him in. He had his key, he knew exactly where to find you. 

After an eternity, at least what felt like one, you heard the familiar sound of a key in the lock. He quietly took off his shoes by the door, and locked it behind him. 

“Babe?” He called out, already walking toward the living room where you sat. 

“I’m in here!” You called back. Relief washed over you when you saw him, but you didn’t get up and go to him. He had to earn you back the way you deserved. 

“Where should I start?” He asked, sitting down in a chair only a few feet away from you. 

“How about how you shouldn’t act jealous of my stupid clients? Or any man that I’m ever with that isn’t you? Do you really think I’m that crappy of a person that I would EVER cheat on you?”

“I know I shouldn’t, I’m sorry. I know you wouldn’t do that because you’re the best person I’ve ever known, but-“

“BUT WHAT JEREMY?” You screamed, and you know it came out louder and meaner than you wanted it to. He recoiled a little bit but didn’t lose his energy. 

“I’m stupid. I’m a stupid guy, who knows you are way out of my league. It sounds like a dumb excuse, but I’m so scared of losing you. I want you, I want to love you, I want to be with you for the rest of my life. But you’ve seen the league, you’ve seen what this life can do to relationships and what it turns people into. I don’t want anything bad to happen to us. I know this isn’t the life you signed on for. I think about you being at home alone and I hate it.” He looked defeated and like he meant every word he’d said. 

“You can’t lose something you already have.” You wanted to close the space between you so badly. 

“You still want to be with me?” You got up and walked to the kitchen as he asked, putting away the wine you’d gotten out so it wouldn’t spoil. He followed closely, less than a few steps away. One giant step and he’d be able to close that space. 

“I wouldn’t have told you to come if I didn’t. You just needed to listen, and you weren’t hearing me. You don’t have to be jealous of anyone, that isn’t who I am.”

“I hear you loud and clear now. And I’m not jealous, you’re just mine.” The tone in his voice shifted to another one you recognized. 

“I’m yours huh?” You said it like you were challenging him because it sounded like he thought he already won. He should be fighting for you and showing you what that means. 

“Do you need a reminder?” He closed the space, so his forehead rested against yours. You could feel his hot breath on your face, breathing in time with you. Without warning, you pressed your lips against his with a new hunger behind you. You’d missed this heat between you, the raw need to have each other right in that moment. 

His hands explored your body, finding their way to your ass and lifting you up onto the counter. It was cold against your legs, the shorts you had on weren’t very long and you felt every inch of cold countertop but you didn’t care. His lips left yours with a moan and began making their way down your neck. You could feel how wet you were already getting, responding to his touch so quickly. You reached for the hem of his shirt and motioned for him to take it off. He complied in earnest, his mouth immediately returning to you.

Lifting your shirt up and over your head, your breasts became exposed for him to devour. He licked around your nipple, biting it and chasing you to arch off the counter while letting out a scream. Your nails were digging into every spot on him that he could reach. Momentarily he kissed your mouth again, bringing his still covered cock against your center. You could feel it hard against you, the friction only giving you the slightest relief. 

“Please daddy, please I need-“ You tried not to beg but the torture was killing you. 

“Tell me you’re mine and I’ll give you exactly what you want. Tell daddy who you belong to princess.” He whispered in your ear, continuing to kiss around your neck in the spot he knew you liked. 

“YOURS. I’M YOURS!” You needed relief or you were going to go insane. 

“Now was that so hard baby?” He asked. You didn’t even have the time or energy to reply as he pulled off your shorts in one big motion. 

“No underwear? Even better.” You attempted to push his head toward your swollen clit, but he wouldn’t go faster than he wanted to. He kissed and bit your thighs, leaving marks where he knew no one could see. You’d have those marks there for weeks. Each kiss he got closer until you finally felt his tongue brush against your clit. You shivered as he began to devour you, your thighs clenching around his head not wanting him to escape.

He pulled back but only for a moment, instructing you to lick the fingers he was putting in front of your face. You did as he asked, and he resumed going after your pussy. In a new move, he inserted his fingers into you as he continued eating. His tongue was licking in time with his fingers as they pumped in and out of you. He was hitting a spot in you that you didn’t even know was there.

“Holy shit don’t stop, don’t stop PLEASE.” You were writhing on top of the counter as he struggled to hold you in place. He knew you were so close to your high, edging you just along that fine line. You’re burning up and he knows it. His other hand reaches up and pinches your nipple before grabbing onto your breasts like they were his lifeline. 

You cursed him silently for having hair you couldn’t grab onto, but you pressed his head as if it could go further into you. His tongue quickened its pace, matching his fingers. You could feel your orgasm building and it was right there, all you needed to do was let go. 

“Let go baby girl, cum on my face for me..” He whispered against your clit,  and what came out of yours was a series of expletives that you didn’t care to understand. He could taste everything you were giving him, not stopping as you started to come down. Every nerve ending was on overdrive and he held you down against the counter. The wave of your orgasm rolled over you, your heart pounding in your chest. He didn’t let a single drop of you miss his mouth, and you saw his smile looking up at you as you tried to catch your breath. 

He stood up without breaking eye contact, and undid his own pants. He made sure all remaining clothes of yours were off, nibbling on your ears and down your neck as he did so. In a move of complete trust, he picked you up off of the counter and carried you down to where he knew your room was. His lips found yours again and suddenly your lungs were struggling for air but you didn’t care. Your arms were hooked around his neck as he walked, kissing him like your life depended on it. 

Setting you down on the bed, he laid you down on your back, and stood back to marvel at the sight of you. 

“You look… “ his brain was struggling to find the right word, “fucking stunning.” 

“And you have too many clothes on… sir.” You put yourself up on your elbows, looking down at his boxers that for some reason, had remained on. You didn’t need to let him finish what he was going to say, you needed him to do something more than speak. 

“Sir?” He raised an eyebrow and stepped closer to you. 

“Did you like that?”  You knew he did but it was your way of teasing. His mouth was on yours before you could process his next movements, placing one hand to your side to balance himself and the other knotted in your hair, pulling your head back so you were looking up at him when he pulled apart. You didn’t even realize that his boxers were already off, as you felt his cock brush against your leg and pussy. 

His hand left your hair and explored your leg, getting closer to its destination. His face was so close you could feel his hot breath on your face and his fingers glided over your folds, but so lightly it sent a shiver up your spine. You could hardly catch your breath but you were dying for him to touch you, to fuck you until you couldn’t remember your own name. You wanted him to hear you. His hand remained on your pussy, his fingers becoming soaked.

“So fucking wet for me baby.. did you miss me?” He quickened his fingers and began pumping them inside you. The feeling of his fingers wasn’t enough, you needed more and a whine-like moan escaped you. You whispered a response to him, and it spurred him on. 

“Please Jeremy please, please I need you inside me..” 

“That’s not my fucking name, not in here. In here I own you, isn't that right princess? Do you want me to be gentle?” You nod no, but that isn’t enough for him.

“Use your words princess.”

“No.”

“No, what?”

“Don’t be gentle!” You tried pushing his head towards your core again, but he remained looking at you with his fingers teasing you. He added another, stretching you from the inside. You gasped and scratched your nails up his back. 

You gasp again, as you feel him part you with two fingers and put his tongue against you again. He wasn’t done tasting you yet.

“Please baby, I need your cock. Please!” Your mouth couldn’t move fast enough and you didn’t even care that he had reduced you to a begging mess beneath him. Your hips wanted to grind, needing more friction. You could feel your release building again as he sucks on your clit. It was right there, you could feel it as you clawed at your sheets trying to grab onto something but there was nothing. 

Your legs spasmed around his head as your release flooded over you and he ate you once again. 

“So fucking wet for me, you’re so stunning baby girl.” He kissed his way up your body and aligned himself with your entrance. He isn’t gentle as he slams into you as he kisses your mouth like you’re the only thing keeping him alive. 

You’re left begging for air as his head drops down, ducking your nipple into his mouth. 

“Oh god, oh fuck..” you cry out as he wasn’t holding back. He slammed into you over and over, bringing his hand up to find your clit. As he fucked you he was playing with your clit again, causing your wetness to pool onto the bed. Every single nerve you had was on fire, and only he could put it out. 

“Tell me you need it, tell me how bad you want you want my cum.” The hand not on your clit slowly moves up your body to the bottom of your throat and locking his hand around it. Not putting too much pressure, but enough to lightly choke you. Both of your hands gripped his arm as  you felt his cock filling you and his thighs slapping against yours. His speed was increasing and so was the hunger in his eyes. 

“Oh fuck, fuck daddy please I need your cum I need you so bad..!” 

“You are mine, your orgasms are mine, everything about you is mine.” Without warning he withdrew from you, earning a desperate moan. Quickly he flipped you over into your stomach, pulling your hips back so you were on your hands and knees facing away from him with your ass in the air waving him in like an invitation. 

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He whispers into your ear from behind you. He places kisses on the spot in your neck he knows drives you crazy, running his cock along your folds at the same time. He pushes into you again and holds back nothing. Jeremy grips both of your hips with his hands and brings your hips back to meet each one of his thrusts. The sound of his thighs hitting your ass echoes throughout the room, reaching spots inside you that you didn’t know he could. 

You couldn’t hold yourself up anymore, you collapsed into the bed as he fucked into you. 

“So fucking tight princess, this pussy was made for me.” His nails scratch down your back eliciting a loud string of moans. His thrusts become more erratic and he brings his hand up, then down to smack your ass as hard as he could. The scream you made encouraged him more, and you could feel a third orgasm building.

“Fuck daddy, please I’m right there I need to cum daddy please..” You didn’t know how he had gotten that many out of you, but you could already tell he was determined for more. 

“That’s it baby, cum for me, cum all over my cock..” He brought his hand around as he leaned into you to tease your clit some more. You were right there, you pushed back to meet his thrusts to get yourself over the hill and the relief washed over you. You moaned out his name, begging for him to fuck you harder and faster. 

He loved seeing his length go in and out of you, taking all of him so well. Spreading your legs to give him a better angle, his cock continued hitting that spot inside you. He slaps your ass again, and again. You cry out, knowing his release was close behind. His hands wrap in your hair and pull you back, making you arch towards him. 

“Fuck yes baby, you like it when I fuck you like this? You ready for my cum?” He chases his release just as badly as you want it from him, feeling him trying to reach his high. You nodded in response to him, not being able to form any more words. The only sounds coming from you were moans of encouragement, it felt like you could be on cloud nine. 

“FUCK!” He screamed as he pulled almost all the way out, slamming back in and releasing his load into you. Jeremy almost collapsed onto you, but he brought you into his arms as he pulled out of you as his cum slowly leaked back out. You knew he thought it was the hottest thing ever. Both trying to catch your breath and come back down to earth, he pulled you in once you laid down so that you were on his chest. You could hear his heartbeat going a million miles a minute inside his chest, but it brought you a sense of calm. Your person was back where he belonged, he had finally heard you. 

“I love you.” He finally spoke but he still sounded out of breath.

“I love you too.”

“No, you don’t understand. I love you, I really love you. THIS is what I want. This body, your perfect fucking curves. Every minute of every hour of every day, I want you. Not just your body, I want all of you. I’m sorry I was so stupid. I can’t promise you that I won’t make stupid choices sometimes, but I can promise to be better for you every day.”

“Jer-“ You attempted to stop him, you knew he was it too. 

“Please let me finish. I want to make you feel good, I want to be the person you want to come home to every day, I want to be the person who pushes you to be the best version of yourself and make you feel like the queen of the world. You’re it for me, there is no one else. I’ve spent my whole life doubting myself and chasing this dream I couldn’t even describe. But I can see it so clearly now, and I know that dream is you. And I want to be able to have forever with you, if you’ll have me.” You took a moment to absorb his words. 

“You have to make me a promise okay?” His eyes gleamed at you, like you were holding up the moon just for him. 

“Anything, you name it.”

“Promise me forever. There is no past anymore, there is only us and the future we make together. I want us to help each other be better. Okay?”

“Okay. How about we start forever now?”

“I thought you’d never ask.”

[babygirlboeser]

https://www.tumblr.com/babygirlboeser/753303698313248768/in-a-bedsy-rempe-vange-arty-mood

okay what do you think each of their love languages would be

- luke anon

OOOOH this is fun. can u have multiple? i don’t really know a lot about the different love languages but i’m gonna try bcuz i love this question.

rempe is definitely physical touch. loves loves loves holding you. loves your morning cuddles. loves random nap cuddles. loves having you lay on his chest while u fall asleep. always has a hand on ur thigh in the car. just always needs to be close to u🥲🥲🥲 if he’s had a rough day the one thing that always makes him feel better is laying his head on your chest and listening to your heartbeat while you play with his hair and kiss his head, mumbling sweet nothings to him. he’s a big teddy bear and needs his cuddles and kisses :(

bedsy is a bit of everything? as for what he needs from you, i feel like words of affirmation is his main love language. random compliments and praise from you make him so happy. he gets all cute and blushy and gets butterflies when you compliment him or praise him (especially during sexy times. he can be SO blushy and shy) kind words, communication, approval and support from you are what make him feel appreciated and supported and cared for. it also makes him really happy when you come to his games, knowing that you’re there supporting him makes him feel loved. your relationship means the world to him, and his career is also so important to him and he really appreciates reassurance that you support him, and are sticking by him no matter what. as for how he shows his love, he’s an awkward lil guy and doesn’t always know how to express his feelings verbally so acts of service is a big thing for him. doing whatever random little things he can to help you out and show you he cares. he’s also big on physical touch, you both feel so safe and loved when you’re wrapped up in each others arms. every night you cuddle so close and give each other lots of sweet little kisses. it’s a way you can both show your love without having to say anything.

arty is quality time. he loves taking you on dates, trying new hobbies with you, learning new things together or teaching each other random stuff, just any way that he can spend time with you really. he’s generally a quiet guy but once you get closer and he gets more comfortable he’ll open up, and he loves how you two can just talk for hours on end, giving each other undivided attention. whether it’s deep conversations or just whatever random crap comes to mind, he loves that you actually want to listen to him ramble, spend time with him, and pay him attention. he loves the sound of your voice and would love learning new things about you. this man would just never get tired of your company and adores spending time with you. sometimes you don’t even have to interact, even just being together at home while you read or watch tv or cuddle or whatever makes him happy. he just wants to be near you. he’s a quiet shy lil guy, and just being together in comfortable silence can make him so happy. he just likes being close to his girl. i feel like he would also get you gifts all the time to show his love, if he ever saw some random little thing he thought you might like, he would buy it. it makes you so happy, just the fact that he looked at something and immediately thought of you and thought ‘she would like this’ warms your heart. also a touch of words of affirmation for him. after a loss everyone wants to blame the goalie, and he worries that you’ll be disappointed in him. you like to have him snuggle up to you or lay his head on your chest while you play with his hair and tell him you’ll always be proud of him as long as he’s trying his best, which you know he always is. you could never be disappointed in him and it hurts your heart that he even thinks like that.

vange is quality time. you would plan the cutest little dates together, go new places together, etc. he would just love spending time with you and trying new things. one of your fave things to do is cook together and try new recipes even if you fail, you guys would be laughing so hard and making such a mess and it would be so fun. he also loves when you travel with him on away games because he gets so excited to drag you around showing you his favourite places in every city.

(sorry this took a while to post i wrote half of it then accidentally forgot about it for like 4 hours)

[sergeifyodorov]

I’m curious because of how you rank Cale, who do you think are the top 10 players in the league? (We can exclude goalies because they’re such an entirely different skill set but would love to hear their separate ranking)

oooh ok this is. an inchresting question... under the cut bc dashclog Et Cetera.... the cody sergeifyodorov unoffishul players rankings at This Very Moment In Time. get mad at me if u want idk let's dance

number ten: sidney crosby. Old Man Still Has It, More At Ten

number nine: david pastrnak. arguably -- and i am going to argue it -- the best pure shooter in the league. the reason hes not like theee goalscorer of all time is bc he generally lacks puck carriers/space creators/isn't much of a puck carrier or a space creator of his own, but like. based off shot alone? hundredth percentile.

number eight: elias pettersson. two way centre... the usual vancouver oish% boost but also just a fantastic dual threat AND a legit lady byng candidate with a penalty differential big enough to severely boost his value just based off that. like imho there's nothing that petey is specifically Good At (like how pasta is a pure goalscorer) but he's basically got no weaknesses. and hes gay

number seven: cale makar IS very good. conn smythe norris etc but most importantly he did win a hockeyblr babygirl of the year award so theres that too. some crazy bobby orr pointgetter. real good defensive results too. like hes crazy good and they say hes crazy good for a reason

number six: ill concede. leon draisaitl

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number five: quinn hughes. i don't know what fuckass magic this sad little man has. decent finisher. great playmaker. best power play quarterback in the league. makes anyone who plays with him appear to be "oh shit, this guy's a great partner for hughes!" (i have seen this with at least 5 diff players, not one of whom anyone would consider Quite Good on their own.) L + ratio + oish% + makar has devon toews + youngest captain in the league + you bet that conn smythe and norris combo is his soon enough

number four: nathan mackinnon. best dual threat in the league (no one who's a better passer than him is a better goalscorer, and no one who's a better goalscorer is a better passer.)

number three: nikita kucherov. i want you to do something for me. i want you to go to espn dot com. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl. i want you to go to espn dot com slash nhl slash team stats tampa bay lightning. it should be sorted by points for you. there's dearly beloved creepy eyes keeta right there in first. 94 points as of me writing this. crazy number for right now. wolfboy of all time brayden point should be in second. take a look for me rn at the difference between those two in points. what the fuck

number two: auston matthews. is this leafs bias? sure. im a leafs guy. im just saying that he's a better goalscorer than ovi in his prime, and he's a centre and great defensively too. i could tell you that he is fifth all time in goals per game, and two of the four guys ahead of him were born in the 1800s. i could tell you that he has 48 goals in 52 games right now, and 0 empty netters. i could tell you that if you only counted goals he scored when the leafs were down one or tied, he'd be in the top ten in goals this year.

[GAP OF PRETTY SIGNIFICANT SIZE]

number one: connor mcdavid. he has almost as many assists as the second-best in his draft class (mitchell) has points. he has 930 points in 620 games. he is the only player in the salary cap era to have a 150-point season. idk there's just fuckin . no one like him. like generally an untrained eye can't really see how much better or faster any given player is than the rest but like. you can with him. he just Looks a step ahead of the pack. top five all time, and he's in his prime rn!!!! lets go connie all my homies love connie

[neonfretra]

nhl teasm...

my team loyalties immediately dissolve in favor of the funniest possible outcome. florida i will willingly curse you for a game seven sharks interview, vgk you mean nothing to me if it means the yotes sweep you, kraken you mean nothing to me if it means a sharks shutout, the san jose sharks will never be usurped in the chain of preference because they are gods personal sacrificial lamb and every joy they experience is like blood in the water and my heart hungers like a mouthless stomach.

for sake of readability i refer to teams by name here, sorry if this shows up on your favsies team tags </3

every single team WILL be discussed in terms of the sharks . be warned .

nhl teams tier list below the cut because i yap too much for a cute graphic. our conversations arent long but you know what is. its this. dont talk to me at all, actually.

MY teams!!!

San Jose Sharks

san jose sharks u are the only thing that has ever mattered 2 me. pickles cup on the HORIZON and RAPIDLY APPROACHING.

MY GIRLS......!!!!! if you want to love a team make a primer about them. i think of everything hockey relative to the sharks. i can name most of their players.! (it takes me genuine conscious thought to tell apart cmd, drai, lars because of their similar facial hair for reference. luke kunin and justin bailey though NO PROBLEM ^_^)

fighting team through and through! who CARE if we down two and got twenty seconds remaining, players WILL be gunning down the ice...! its always a bit of a shock to watch other teams just kinda. wander about?

people who like winning will tell you that the important part of the sport is winning. wrong! it is HONOR and WHIMSY. and sometimes IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF NIHILISM . i think its good for you to root for a basement team. really gets you out of that winning is everything mentality cause if i got my feelings too wound up about how the sharks performed i would not have a blood pressure measurable by conventional means anymore

also, nothing on this team is permanent. i look at old rosters and can name like. five of them. we made the MOST moves at the trade deadline. every single captain has had trade rumors going around about them. somehow, we are still living on the high of that game seven. you know the one.

there are four people in the lb tag on a good day. if you are joining the sharks fandom hi! ^_^ sorry for takin your favorite guy!

BEST DRESSED TEAM IN THE LEAGUE!!! our logo? CUNT. our teal? CUNT. our cute little teal helmets to go with visiting uniforms? CUNT. our black alternate jerseys? CURSED AS ALL HELL. also, CUNT. over 5% of our wins this season happened in the califin jersey which is to say ONE GAME. and we looked GOOD AS HELL doing it. year one of the team, sharks sold the MOST merch in the league because our logo before the current logo? CUNT.

i think the sharks makes me a worse person.

Seattle Kraken

my first team! ^_^ really awesome and active community on tumblr, i really like the community wide decision to be whimsical through thick and thin, if you want to get into hockey id definitely suggest them !!! sports are a social interest to me <3

also, one of the best dressed teams IMO! LOVE the red accents (& how they use black in their visiting jerseys), and especially a fan of how their goalies gear picks up on it!

also, the pride runs deep team, the put a tentacle on a pride flag dont even need to mention its for hockey team

also, i love their fish toss. the past tense of yeet is NOT yaught.

i recognize a quite a few of their players! unfortunately, quite a few of their players are prone to injury. hope they resign QUITE A FEW OF THEIR PLAYERS. ^_^

Vegas Golden Knights

HEEL TEAM!!! hate them or love them you NEED them for your narratives. and GOLLY do people hate them! this has made me root for them more. haters be strong, but by god i stay stronger xoxo

a team you DEFINITELY need a sense of humor to love publicly tho. this blog SUPPORTS taking weeks if not months long sick leave <- literally a sharks fan, if u arent feeling 100% get your rest AND get your paycheck im so serious

i think they need to DOUBLE DOWN on being the most las vegas thing to ever be outside of las vegas! they got glittery gold jerseys! pyrotechnics on every home goal! the big tacky slot machine! gold helmets! the whole opening segment! vgk become the disney villain team u were always meant to be!

also, tomas hertl is on this team. tomas hertl i miss u. everyone may be mad gm mike grier traded him to a franchise rival but hes a wizard TO ME for getting ltir resident hertl to a team he wanted to be on!!! please win a cup for tommy vgk

sharks exwifes teams

Tampa Bay Lightning

anthony duclair you are just as beautiful as you were the day i lost you ...

also, i am LEGITIMATELY infatuated by their storm jerseys (image from the unofficial nhl uniforms database)

girl i want you so bad

would you believe this jersey personally shot up my opinion of them

Dallas Stars

joe pavelski makes me feel hit song "its over isnt it" from show steven universe emotions. hes THE shark exwife. hes been gone for 5 years (goinf on six!) and every time we play against the stars they keep having long lingering shots on pavs and randomly bringing up how hes SUCH a great player ohhhhh pavs youre the greatest thing we have ever lost... they do this after someone else has scored a goal btw LMAO. i genuinely get surprised when i watch a cast with the stars that ISNT lingering on pavs. have a good retirement pavs <3

the second player i recognized the face of on the stars was mason marchment because he has piercing blue eyes and strikingly dark eyebrows. hes orbs.

i think their plaioffs thing was funny as hell. i dont even read it like. ai as in artificial intelligence, ive been reading pl-eye-offs. theyre funny for that + getting dragged for it, apparently? i hope they do it again (& get dragged again)

im sorry dallas stars for personally cursing you to lose round 2.

im also sorry dallas stars for writing almost entirely about joe pavelski here . he haunts the sharks so bad. i actually did start rooting for the stars because of him though LMAO

HI ID ALSO LIKE TO ADD THAT WE GOT TY DELLANDREAS FROM THIS TEAM! i love snatching everyones beloved players this cant keep happening

my friends teams (that i have imprinted on like a duckling) ^_^ hey speakin of ducks

Los Angeles Kings

BEST PENALTY KILL IN THE LEAGUE! <- dont fact check me

i like making up silly ways of referring to game terminologies and the kings are an endless supply of on theme jokes <3

.i was made fond through word of big save dave and i personally love watching everyone shadow box with the ghost of la kings

i regularly followed them in the regular season ^_^ and then the post season happened .i think i may have cursed them terribly

PLEASE LET YUOR YOUNGER PLAYERS IN . PLEEASDE.

Anaheim Ducks

team i am fond of but never watch the games of because they overlap with every other team i watch LMAO

i was um. also made fond of them through their goalies. i may be predicable. THEE if a goalie makes more than 50 saves in a game and still lose then they have the right to chase they team around with a machete team

but maybe the REAL way to my heart is a team that is healthy (do you remember healthy centers and veteran presence) and law abiding (one of the most penalized teams) that loves doing things like completing passes (um. <3) . which you will

also, witnessed the funniest exchange on one of my posts of like. two or three people? realizin that the ducks new logo is a duck foot

also, i think the seattle series has been one of the most bizarre series of events ive watched by far

Minnesota Wild

you are like an in law to me

TO BE COMPLETELY HONEST. wild is like up there as one of tumblrs popular teams to me! alongside the kraken and. the pens? idk i stay to ONE corner of the internet (the sharks) i think the community is very sweet :)

also, i think the 7-10 game with the canucks was hysterical, that was the only time ive watched back a game and it was worth it 100%

also, i have drawn one of your players with cat ears its OVER for nyall

Edmonton Oilers

i know nothing about your players. darnell nurse 5 own goals i wambt you

ANOTHER TEAM YOU NEED A SENSE OF HUMOR TO LOVE PUBLICLY .! godspeed oilers mutuals yall are like a beautiful ant raft to me. hold on tight together! ^_^

also, we beat the oilers this year and are noted career low for a guy named cmd if you know him . IDK hes a lil underground . so like. >:3

sharks exwives teams the sequel

Calgary Flames

nikita okhotiuk you are the worlds funniest girl to me. gets traded on the trade deadline, plays 9 games total, BREAKS IIHF RESTRICTION TO PLAY FOR CSKA MOSCOW. WORD ON THE STREET THEY STILL WANT HIM BACK. i dont know nothing about the flames otherwise LMAO guys . guys i miss okhie . my turnover princess.... .

i feel like everyone i know has beef with them. um. my beef is that they scored 13 against the sharks that one time in 1993.?

please god stop playin scary

Pittsburgh Penguins

exwife exhead coach/cheerleader david quinn i miss you and your web of connections and networkin like no other...! seriously he knows like. everyone. gets along with everyone and has a strange and unusual beef with sweet cousin kevin labanc. .and hes connectionsing and networkining out there with the pens! ^_^ comin full circle if you even CARE!!!

i root for these teams for absurd reasons

Ottawa Senators

i root for them when idc about who they against because theyre my brother in basement

Nashville Predators

roman josi

i have pavlovs dogged myself into getting hype as hell over him from this image. no i dont want to talk about it

i could not pick him out of a lineup BTW this is the only photo of him i look at

i think they could afford to be even more yellow in uniform

if you asked me to tell you one thing about this team id genuinely run empty

its all goalies and sharks associations . i have nothing to defend myself with here

Carolina Hurricanes: i know like... 3? of your players who are deeply endearing to me and nothing else. yeah one of them is a goalie can you look the other way please (pyotr kochetkov, seth jarvis, brent burns)

Detroit Red Wings: alex lyon is on this team! i miss radim simek . hes not dead we just snatched him off the cuda captaincy and sent him to detroit.

Philadelphia Flyers: they have gritty on this team and also sam ersson!

Arizona Coyotes/Utah Somethings: i thought their yotes logo was the cutest thing :( they matched with the roadies! honestly massively bummed we dont get the yotes on account of WILD as hell management decisions utah somethings is NOT a snub btw, ive seen the sharks cast refer to them as that and i think its really funny. the blue in the uniforms is cute though ^_^

St. Louis Blues: we series swept them! sorry stl anything for tommy

Boston Bruins

Buffalo Sabres

New York Islanders

Vancouver Canucks

Montreal Canadiens

Chicago: i know two different people that said they played better hockey wearing a chicago jersey . their opinions of this differ WILDLY. if you play hockey, consider it. for science.

i regularly forget/confuse these teams

Winnipeg Jets+Columbus Blue Jackets

i forget the cbj exist regularly igm so sorry. i confuse them with the winnipeg jets because i keep thinkin theyre both planes. who i also gorget with astonishing regularity . i dont know nothing about either them beyond that

Florida Panthers

i genuinely have a really hard time telling them and the preds apart????? NOT EVEN THE SAME COLORS BUT OKAY!

darling of the playoffs RN i think! i like the playoffs, everyone gets so mean LMAO

keep fans in your thoughts at this time because BOY HOWDY. THEY NEED IT.

Toronto Maple Leafs

I FIRGOT THEY EXISTED TOO. I WAS SCROLLING NHL DOT COM SLASH TEAMS TO MAKE SURE I GOT THEM ALL AND . THEY ARE AT THE BOTTOM BECAUSE I GORGOT THEM. IM SORRY TORONTO MAPLE LEAFS. also, mario ferraros childhood team ^_^

i dont hate them BUT...

New Jersey Devils

but also one half of an employee mackblack said they had him play before he was totally ready to come back on an injury ONSE TIME!! and ive not trusted them since

also one half of an employee kaapo kahkonen is on this team! he played 6 games, lost 4, got injured in 2, and the only game hes won was his season first shutout.

they have VERY pretty promotional graphics and also eyebrows

a lot of sharks go to the devs and vice versa which is always really funny ^_^ we got at LEAST four devs-to-sharks guys off the top of my head (we traded okhie and got vitek vanecek, maintaining the delicate balance of it all) and the devs got timo mimo. who also got very pretty eyebrows. timo mimo...

New York Rangers

but hey what are they doing to exwife barclay goodrow over therr . when i said i wanted him to win a third cup i didnt mean i needed him to do it in the era of the pickles comeback . his um??? his contract terms???

nyr yuo are nothing to mme and i wish five thousand years of famine upone you . san jose sharks i do NOT think we shoulda been able to do this. its just a workers rights thing hello

Washington Capitals

but CAP FRIENDLY. GIVE IT BACK. actually seething with rage at this new development. you must understand . if you want to love a team make a primer about them. if you want to love accessible databases write a primer.

also WAIT WAIT BEAUTIFUL FAILHORSE PIERRE LUC DUBOIS IS ON THIS TEAM NOW? please make sure you give him a sparkly star sticker if he does well a game and also peel his tangerines for him and also

[joanofexys]

Hi! Sorry for randomly dropping anon into ur inbox, but I’m kind of in love with ur oc’s and I was wondering if you could tell me more abt Ilya? Ik u said they’re just some guy from Penn state and for some reason that really intrigues me lol.

Never apologize I love anons and I'm so flattered you like my little guys. Also sorry this is gonna take a minute and there will be many typos cause I'm typing one handed on my laptop while eating an icecream/my cat tries to steal my icecream bar, not that you needed that info

ANYWAY litte recap on Ilya:

22 years old

5'5

he/they, transman

youngest of 4, has all sisters

Played for Penn State

Now plays for Olympic Court

Goalie

Number 7

I haven't decided on what he majored in yet

Yeah he really is just some guy. He's the only athlete really in his family. One of his older sisters ran track in high school, but otherwise their family is full of musician. Dad is a middle school orchestra teacher, mom is a music professor, his sisters all went into the arts. He can play a, quite frankly, ridiculous amount of instruments and he enjoys them all but he's not particularly passionate about it.

His parents signed him up for little league exy because he saw exy on the tv once and wouldn't shut up about it/was begging them to play. His parents just wanted all of their kids to be happy so they caved very quickly and Ilya developed an intense passion for the sport that obviously never went away.

Ilya's oldest sister (Liliya) is 7 years older than him, the other one 4 years older (Kateryna or just Kat), and the sister after (Tanya) that only a year and a half older. They're all incredibly close despite any age gaps while also very much having a dynamic of lovingly bullying each other

Ilya kind of always knew he was trans and they were always in a safe space to express it. His parents used to joke that they had "3 girls and an Ilya" and they didn't even bat an eye when as a kid he went straight for the "boys clothes" and asked to be called a prince instead of a princess and only responded to being called a boy. At school it was different, in elementary school other kids didn't care but the teachers could be weird about it, and then as a teen other kids started getting mean about it. But his parents and their sisters were always accepting and they filled their house with enough love that Ilya never thought about being closeted or pretending to be someone he wasn't.

He gets recruited to Penn State's team as their starting goalkeeper as an openly trans athlete. His team's respectful for the most part. There are some people who just don't seem to get it, but they're never outright rude or transphobic to him. There are sometimes snide remarks and something Not Cool said on accident and Ilya is always quick to correct it and most of his teammates are decent enough to apologize and try to do better

And he talks A Lot about being a trans and generally queer athlete. He's happy to be one of those people out and proud for everyone who can't be. Ilya has always, unapologetically, taken up space. Not even focused on his queerness, just in the way he exists as a person. If he's in a room you're going to know he's there and you're probably going to know their every thought as well.

They care a lot and they take everything to heart. They're very much a "don't cry cause you'll make me cry" type of person. He's much more willing to take on people's pain and share their burdens than he probably should be.

And he has zero filter. While he's absolutely paving the way as a queer athlete and he has a lot to say to the press about that his press time also has to be limited because he will just say shit. He has insulted other teams, insulted specific players, shared information that he definitely shouldn't have, said "fuck" on camera too often to keep count, and a lot more. He is keeping the Penn State vs Edgar Allan Ravens twitter discourse alive and well with all the shit that comes out of his mouth

He makes his best friend his junior year. She's a sophomore named Alice and she's a defensive dealer. Her sophomore year she comes as trans, MTF, and Ilya is the first person she tells becuase he's one of the only queer people she knows. After that they're pretty much attached at the hip and Ilya would kill and die for her. Her family isn't super accepting so he takes her home with him for the holidays. His family becomes hers and they're more than happy to add one more girl to the family.

Ilya makes court right after he graduates and it's with Jude, Em, Mara, Florian. you know the drill at this point. They're the ones I never shut up about. And I think I'll largely be repeating myself and I don't want to be annoying with that so we'll stop there

Some other fun things about Ilya though:

he never learned how to ride a bike. he will never ride a bike. fuck no (he fell over and scraped his knee once and despite all the balls to the head playing exy that was his breaking point for some reason and he never got on a bike again)

he's a cat person

he teaches Florian ASL and it's the main they talk to each other cause Florian likes to go nonverbal

they were such a huge fan of Jude it took everything in them to not be starstruck when the two first met

the two instruments they stuck with were the violin and the piano

they have an addiction to strawberries

is almost always playing jazz music on a vinyl when they're home/have people over

he has a shitty autograph and Flor has begged him to "get better handwriting" since he signs so much stuff but he's fine with it being an unreadable disaster (Florian's autograph in comparison is gorgeous)

he is an unapologetic foxes stan after they win finals

[dmercer91]

ebug's sister, dm91

part one / part two /part three / part four / part five / part six /

blakefriarr_

liked by dawson1417, lhughes_06, and 6,213 others

blakefriarr_: my brothers an ebug, episode five!

i think ni saw me in the stands before the game started, cause he didn’t ONCE look in my direction and i had to scavenge the broadcast after the game to find an image of him under duress. it’s cute that you thought i wouldn’t find a way, though, worlds sluttiest captain™️

i added a photo of jack to this one since i flat out refused to add him to mine and quinnys groupchat, so we settled on this. for those of you this may negatively affect, i promise it’s a one time thing <3

the next two are both of dawson, since 1. he got a goal!! but second and most importantly, he’s got such a pretty smile and i think it needed to be broadcasted to all of you lovely people seeing this

then we have a goalie hug! i would like to point out that in the five games i’ve seen this season, they’ve won every time i was there. i’m the good luck charm. not even maybe. i am telling you it’s me

last, cause i want to rub it in jj’s face that i have a sweet, attentive guy that he doesn’t know the name of, is a message from my boy!! (he still hasn’t asked me to be his girl, so he’s not TECHNICALLY my boy, but shhhh we’ll ignore it)

view 607 comments..

jj.friar31: does this guy of yours know about your strange love for dawson mercer

→ blakefriarr_: i would say he's aware

lhughes_06: I RANK HIGHER THAN JACK!?!?!?

→ blakefriarr_: unfortunately you are very adoptable

→ lhughes_06: you're like eight months older than me

→ blakefriarr_: ok?

_quinnhughes: hey guy who won't be named where jj can see, if you're reading this, please ask her out before i go crazy

→ blakefriarr_: you said i could talk to you anytime :(

→ _quinnhughes: of course you can, sweetheart. that doesn't mean i wont go nuts

→ blakefriarr_: awh huggy you're willing to go nuts for me?

→ _quinnhughes: unfortunately i'm not immune to whatever it is you have going on in that head of yours

jesperbratt: i can't believe you just called nico a slut

→ blakefriarr_: believe it, bratter.

nicohischier: ... sluttiest?

→ blakefriarr_: what other word can be used to describe what it is when you flip your hair around with a bloody mouth and call people fucking pussies

→ nicohischier: i was hoping those clips would stay off your radar

→ blakefriarr_: that's impossible i see everything

adamfantilli: wasn't expecting him to be such a softy

→ lhughes_06: now what is this supposed to mean

→ blakefriarr_: rookie how did you manage it's been literally three days

→ lhughes_06: IS HE IN THE GROUPCHAT?????? BLAKE??

→ blakefriarr_: don't be so dramatic moose

→ lhughes_06: quinn?? what do you have to say for yourself?

→ _quinnhughes: she asked very nicely idk what you wanted me to do

→ blakefriarr_: 'i'm adding adam fuckface' 'cool lmao' there was no resistance and by definition i don't think i was being nice

→ _quinnhughes: why do i put up with this

→ adamfantilli: i feel so honoured you didn't even ask properly

→ blakefriarr_: whatever. love u, rookie

→ adamfantilli: love u, coach

→ lhughes_06: i'm killing you both and not in your sleep you deserve to know it was me

→ blakefriarr_: well now you can do it in our sleeps cause you just.. told us? that it would be you?

dougieham: i would like to formally apologize for my comment on your most recent post. i was out of line and i should not have spilled very highly classified of information about the groupchat. i hope my apology finds you well.

→ blakefriarr_: you're forgiven, but you're on probation

→ dougieham: quinn is that good enough

→ _quinnhughes: probably idk

dawson1417: i have a pretty smile? blushing

→ blakefriarr_: you're welcome, loser <3

→ dawson1417: that guy of yours ask you out yet?

→ blakefriarr_: he has.

→ dawson1417: yeah?

→ blakefriarr_: only to an event, though. hoping he'll man up n kiss me

→ dawson1417: best of luck, then <3

jackhughes: least favourite?? what did i do to deserve this

→ blakefriarr_: you are just incredibly underwhelming i'm sorry. be glad you got your picture in the post that is ALL i agreed to.

→ jackhughes: and quinn isn't??

→ blakefriarr_: do not diss quinn i will take your head of and put it over my fireplace

jj.friar31: ok so from what i'm compiling here i think it's either quinn or.. adam fantilli????? somehow?? when did that even happen how do you keep pulling this off

→ blakefriarr_: ok first of all if you think i would ever allow someone i'm romantically involved with to call me coach you need a lobotomy

→ blakefriarr_: second of all you are so dumb it's actually become fascinating. NEITHER OF THOSE PEOPLE LIVE IN JERSEY?? you think quinn hughes found the time in his nhl player schedule to fly down here and bring me home from work?

→ jj.friar31: oh right

→ jj.friar31: ignore me i've compiled nothing.

view more comments..

[felidlycanthr0pe]

i have hockey brainrot rn bc my home team is on an inexplicable win streak so here’s my hcs abt who plays what:

- Izuku: absolutely a power forward, specifically a winger. he’s got the speed to be a playmaker and the brawn to board the fuck out of anyone who crosses a line. has absolutely lost a tooth at some point and didn’t start playing until high school. started out as a center but switched out quickly once he figured out a bit more abt position responsibilities and general dynamics w his teammates. prodigy who quickly gains momentum and is signed to an immediate multi year entry level contract.

-Katsuki: been playing since he could walk. grew up on the rink and is a dynamic offensive player. a grinder who picks fights more often than normal but varies between center and winger (bc u know him and deku are the ultimate enforcers). always down to drop his gloves and a playmaker who always makes sure he deserves the C on his jersey.

- Todoroki: legacy player who was raised in method clinics and skills labs. his strength lies in his speed so breakaways are his bread and butter. consistent center despite a bit of a confrontational streak during certain rivalry games. rarely throws gloves but when he does…whatever idiot picked a fight is absolutely skating off spitting chiclets.

- Kiri: easiest answer on the board is absolutely a goalie and no one can tell me otherwise. his save percentage is immaculate bc shots against never goes into the double digits but that doesn’t mean he’s afraid to rock someone’s shit. you know the “touch my goalie and i’ll smash ur face in” rule? yeah not with kiri. mans fights his own battles and wins.

- Denki: I’m really tempted to call him a center but I think he’d prefer to leave face offs out of his repertoire. Consistent with assists bc he’s basically telepathic when it comes to structured plays. chirpy as all fuck and no one can tell me otherwise.

-Sero: general forward, like denki is consistent w assists but unafraid to make plays if he’s in the position to do so. not a fighter, prefers to outplay his opponents w long range slapshots and calculated blue line shots

-Iida: defenseman for sure. he’s got the speed for sure but you wrap that speed up with a bow made of precise hits and snipe assists? fuckin MINT.

-Shouji: another goalie who consistently saves the most absurd shots. I’m talking like a full net kind of guy, sure but also comes out as a bruiser when it’s needed

-Shinsou: winger and a reliable go between. absolutely vicious w his chirps and a bit of a bruiser as well.

I have thoughts on the pros as well but i’m tired as shit so this is all i’ve got for now. :|

[rleonard9]

Ryan being insecure that he can't give older!gf everything a guy her own age can and her reassuring him.

-goalie anon

“I just feel like i cant give you everything you want because i’m 2 years younger. I’m busy with hockey and you are busy with school and i feel such a bad boyfriend because it’s hard to make time together and i wanna give you the perfect life that you want and not fuck all this up.” Ryan tells you

“Hey listen to me,” You put your hands on his face, “You are the most perfect boyfriend ever ok. I don’t care if you are younger then me, you are way better then any man. Yes we are busy but you always come over when i ask you too to spend time together and that’s all i want. No fancy dates, No going out, just you and me and i love that ok.” You bring his lips to yours, “You are giving me the perfect life and it makes me happy just to be with u. So don’t let yourself down because nothing is your fault.”

“Ok,” He exhales wrapping his arms around you.

[swaggypsyduck]

Yall I’m new to stanning football. I came here straight from the world cup and I’m not gonna lie this shit is beating my ass. Is it always in the mud like this? I chose psg because that seems like the best option because they got messi, neymar, and mbappe who are literally the three players that caught my attention during the tournament! Yall I really thought this was going to be fun. 😭 What’s going on? Why does everything feel so confused and chaotic (not in a good energetic way, more like headless chicken running kind of way) but also weirdly sluggish and slow? Yall I don’t understandddddddd. It’s like the team has four different personalities all at once? It’s so… unpleasing to watch yall it was not like this during the world cup. 😭

I hope they get better. But I’ve been reading the psg girlies on tumble and … it seems like nobody has hope it’s going to get better? I mean surely it will? Right? I feel like everybody has given up on the season and I’m scared. 😭 I hope Kylian feels better soon. I was thinking maybe we can do trades with other teams but apparently business hours is already closed and will next open in the summer? The fuck? But we dont got anyone? And almost everyone is dropping like flies? What happens if the big guy on the fishnet gets a flue or just gets sick in general? We just dont get anyone?

Also the coach looks like he should be in a martin scorsese film with robert de niro and joe pesci. The fuck is he doing on the pitch tho?

We need to bounce back QUICK! We need positive vibes! Energy! We need God to be honest but I feel like I’ve spent all my credit with him praying for Messi to win the world cup. My account with God is all maxed out. Yall. I cant sleep until I figure this shit out. Somebody do something!

Do we have a secret weapon? Like what is the plan here? What is plan b? Oh my goddddd. This parasocial relationship is with these players really do beating my ass. I’m out here worried for them!

hi anon! wow this is a doozy. ill try to break down my response but idk if it'll do ur rant justice LOL

1) Welcome newcomer! as u may have seen in the world cup, if there's one thing someone should tell u before u enter the football world is that ABSOLUTELY NOTHING is guaranteed. you could have the strongest defense, the best goalie, gamemaster midfielders, and strikers w amazing finishes and you'll still lose to an underdog team who has better teamwork and chemistry. or just one player decides "uk what? imma earn my paycheck today" and demolishes the other team.

2) psg is a joke. ill tell u right now. lose any and all expectations. we clown on them bc even if they played shit before but at least they were winning. now they're playing shit and LOSING! and thats the problem we have. the 4 personalities at once thing is absolutely correct. you have 3 well seasoned forwards who are used to being the "it" strikers of their team. on top of that we have NO MIDFIELD AND A SHIT MANAGER WHO CANT GET A TACTIC OUT OF HIS ASS EVEN IF I SHOVED IT IN THERE MYSELF!!!... sorry i lost it a bit there lol.

3) as yes transfer window closing. see that's also Galtier and that fuckin toad incharge of players who DIDN'T MAKE A TRANSFER UNTIL LAST MINUTE AND LET CHELSEA FUCK THEM OVER. and sorry to burst ur bubble but there's a chance key players might leave/retire by that summer so lets hope they promise them to bring in an actual proper midfield by then.

4) So another thing to consider if one of the reasons u chose psg was for messi... i wouldnt. This isn't his club. this is his retirement club. ramos too actually. they've finished their careers. they actually have absolutely nothing to lose LOL. messi's heart will always be in barcelona. as in he literally knows nothing else except barça

5) injuries suck. but they are a part of the game. if u play any contact sport u know the feeling. even non-contcact sports there r still big injuries. everyone is hoping kylian gets better soon. he needs all the rest he can get 🤲🏼.

6) Our secret weapon? BHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! prayers i guess. nah im kidding. but there really isn't any secret weapon unless u count galtier deciding to pick up a tactic book? or leaving and getting replaced by pep or zidane. to use ur weapon analogy we have a dented shield that still works (defense) and a bunch of bullets (forwards) but no gun (midfield) to load them.

7) ik u were joking about that last part but the parasocial relationship?? do ur absolute best to minimize it. like as someone who's been watching the beautiful game since i was a kid its okay and fun to joke about it and worry/send love to ur faves but u have to remember: those are grown ass men getting payed hundreds of millions to kick a ball around while those in their cities that pay to watch them are in heating/housing crisis. so when we eat the rich ill be cutting them up w tears uk?

hope this helped LOL.

[xcxglosss]

so um. storytelling. first of all rip adult natalie :(((((((((((((((((((( also misty. i fucking hate u now. you idiot. nat trying to protect lisa until the end.....biggest heart of all time. walter you are so fucking annoying i think misty should get to kill him next season. javi telling nat to not be afraid :(((((((((((((((((((( teen nat saying that this was always where they were going to end up :((((((((((((((( van....tunnel vision to the absolute max. she’s a goalie. you stop the ball any way you can, and then you’re glad it didn’t go in. I really REALLY did not have Nat as the antler queen soooo uh the writers finally pulled off something interesting. WHERE did misty get that phenobarbital shot. and WHY was she just carrying it around!!!!!!!! also. misty wanted to be the antler queen sooooooooo badly did you guys see her face. so ben has just. fucked off now huh. like quite honestly yeah i can see where he was coming from but also. now i hope he rots in that cave. Shaunaaaaaa what were you going to write!!!!!! Van telling that fairytale oh I do hope we get to hear the rest of it. Hi guys wake up new Yellowjackets ship just dropped (VanNat). ok I’m gonna have to make a whole other post about the new group dynamics post 2x09. please follow if you want more of this

[spatio-rift]

mar... can u catch me up on inazuma lore because i dont know very much about endou *smiling brightly*

hi lab yes of course im no expert on endou tbh but i will try my best!!

as far as inazuma characters go endou doesnt have too much going on but i think its a good thing for him. hes THE protagonist, raimons captain who sets the whole thing into motion. hes also the grandson of a very famous, legendary soccer player and coach who was the goalkeeper for the national team at some point and after retiring coached another legendary-to-be team which the series is named after (though these guys were middle schoolers)(and also never won any competitions... it was kageyamas fault he made them have a bus accident and stuff (he was also a middle schooler)). but his grandpa passed away before he was born (kageyama again, around ambiguously the same age..."ambiguously" because i can never tell if it was from the bus accident or some other incident. but shits crazy) so he never really knew him, and thats kind of why he picks up soccer: its the one connection he has to his dead grandpa. (though his mom is really against it at first because she thinks its what killed her dad)

now of course he doesnt play only to feel close to him he genuinely develops an intense passion &love for the game (while staying hilariously oblivious about everything going on in the soccer world. he doesnt know any famous players or anything). the first part of ina11 is about how he wants to bring his ragtag soccer team to the top by winning this one famous middle school soccer competition its pretty simple. i feel like its kind of refreshing in a way that his motivations are fully about his passion of the game despite the crazy plot with kageyama, while still feeling like a part of the whole thing since kageyama "murdered" his grandpa (hes not actually dead but we dont know this until much later) and bc of his intense grudge against him he wants to crush endou and raimon specifically so fucking bad. but it never really becomes about stopping kageyama for endou which is nice to me. he just really loves ball

endous not the brightest guy around, but his pure, free love of the game and very genuine & trusting disposition inspire everyone to rally behind him and root for him. i think the way he trusts and believes in people is definitely one of his strong points and being given that sort of support or a second chance like this really helped/saved a handful of characters in the series. hes just a guy you can help but yearn to be friends with or play ball genuinely with :) (but while his tendency to give people a second chance or trust suspicious people as long as they love soccer might make him look like an airhead its important to note that he still has limits and there are still things he considers unforgivable. i think that makes him feel more real and also seeing him get angry about certain things makes his trust in and ability to forgive other characters hit that much harder instead of being mere words)

now coming back to his grandpa. a huge part of his character imo is following in his grandpas footsteps, kind of inheriting his legacy by learning all the moves his grandpa came up with, training the way he did, etc... and quickly after the first game/season were asked the question of whether its good for him to continue just imitating his grandpa. what is..........interesting though, is that the 2nd and 3rd game kind of both deal with it... but in completely different ways?

ie2 proposes pretty early on that being a goalie isnt the only path open to endou. that just because his grandfather was a goalkeeper doesnt mean that endou has to be as well. and then later we meet tachimukai, a cute little first year whos a big fan of endou and even switched from midfielder to goalkeeper to imitate him. the thing is, as we are soon explicitly told, tachimukai has a LOT more natural talent as a goalkeeper than endou does, and he masters his grandpas ultimate move like its nothing. he was born to play this position basically, which eventually leads to tachimukai being asked to play gk for raimon instead of endou. and endou has very mixed feelings about this, because while hes genuinely happy for tachimukai, he cant say that hes delighted about leaving the position that connected him to his grandpa (and he also practiced that ultimate move on his own in secret at night, even though tachimukai already had it so the team had no use for a second player to master it). but at the same time, hes grown close enough to his team and as a player that he doesnt need to play the same position as his grandpa to feel connected to him like hes still got their shared love of soccer. ok this is getting long but basically i love this because endou ends up growing a lot and setting off on his own unique path and it also leaves a significant role for tachimukai to play (who otherwise never gets to do anything since there cant be two goalies in one match, and endou is the protag).

and it couldve continued to be explored in the next game since instead of going back to a school vs school type thing, where endou and tachimukai wouldve faced each other as goalkeepers on opposite sides, its a world tournament so just like ie2, players from all over japan coming together as one team representing the country. but.... ie3 completely abandons that idea and instead benches tachimukai forever, because endou is back as a goalie and the way to deal with that issue of only following in his grandpas footsteps instead gets turned into a "endou needs to come up with his own special move" thing. and i mean the way its written isnt bad or anything but i certainly like it a lot less than what ie2 had going on that involved tachimukai!!!!

errmm i might have gone a little off topic there and also its getting really long and i dont really have much more to say. my memory of s3/ie3 is pretty fuzzy atp cuz its been a while so i cant say much about what kind of character development he gets cuz i didnt really pay attention (its the kidou disease). but he does meet his grandpa again. erm ok thats enough i hope this was informative enough !!! hes a sweet lad

[gamergirl929]

A Single Mother’s Defender (Kelley O’Hara x Reader)

@francessoto20 Request: How a Kelley one where reader is a single mom?

Kelley grins when she sees you, jogging towards the stands.

You’d been Kelley’s best friend, off the USWNT, for years, the woman immediately becoming an aunt to your daughter, Bayley, the little girl seeing her as family.  

“Auntie Kelley!” The little girl holds her arms out and Kelley immediately scoops her up, spinning her around with a laugh, your daughter giggling excitedly.

“You kicked butt Auntie Kelley!” She squeaks and the defender grins.

“You think your mom would care if I kidnapped you?” She asks and Bayley shakes her head.  

“Nope!”  

You watch with a grin as Kelley takes your daughter towards her team, the women immediately fawning over her.  

You cross your arms across your chest, shaking your head.  

Kelley turns back to you, pointing your way and her teammates grin.  

“MEET ME AT THE TUNNEL!” She yells and you nod, slipping out of your seats and moving across the bleachers until you reach the small opening blocked by a security guard.  

Kelley taps his shoulder and he turns around, a brow arched.  

“She’s with me, this is her kid.” She holds Bayley up, the 5-year-old giggling.  

“Mommy!” She grins and the man steps aside allowing you to take your daughter into your arms and follow behind Kelley.  

“Did you get to meet the team?” You ask and she nods.  

“They’re all so nice! They want to meet you too! They were teasing Auntie Kelley!” She grins, Kelley’s brown orbs widening as her cheeks flush.  

“Teasing her?” You ask, confused, blind to the fact that Kelley is walking behind you, holding a finger to her lips, Bayley’s eyes narrow.  

“I don’t know.” She shrugs and Kelley grins, giving her a thumbs up.  

The second the little girl looks away Kelley swipes at her forehead with the back of her hand, her hand over her racing heart.  

She’d dodged a bullet there, but of course, it wouldn’t be as easy with the rest of the team, the group of women knowing all about the defender’s crush on her best friend.  

The second Kelley shoves the door to the locker room open everyone turns to her, reach and every one of them grinning.  

The first of them to advance on you is Alex Morgan, the woman’s grin nearly as bright as her shining blue eyes.  

“It’s so nice to finally meet you! Kel talks about you all the time.” The forward grins and you smile.  

“Mommy talks about Aunite Kelley all the time too.” Bayley says and your cheeks flush.

You clear your throat.  

“She talks about you guys all the time too, especially you.” You smile and Alex winks.  

“Kelley and I go WAYYYY back, but probably not as far back as you.”  

You laugh when Bayley wiggles out of your hold, the little girl’s feet hitting the ground for less than a second before she’s running to Kelley, the defender of course welcoming her with open arms.  

Alex places a hand on your shoulder, your attention back on the forward, Y/E/C orbs locking with her sparkling blues.  

“Kelley really cares about you, and it’s nice to meet someone she cares about so much.”  

You turn to look at Kelley, smiling softly when you see the defender tickling your daughter’s sides.  

“It’s nice to meet someone who cares about her too.”  

Alex chuckles and you turn back to her, a brow arched.  

“What?” You ask, confused and she smiles.  

“She doesn’t care about me the same way she cares for you.”  

Before you can question her further, she simply winks and walks towards her teammates, leaving you to wonder exactly what she could’ve meant.  

Of course, that leads your mind to a place you’d been trying to steer clear from, a place where you and Kelley were more than just friends.  

You shake your head, following behind her, the other teammates more than happy to greet you just like Alex had.

“Kelley talks about you so much; it feels like we already know you.” Christen grins, sending a stealthy wink Kelley’s way, the defender’s cheeks flushing.  

“Yeah she talks about you constantly.” Tobin adds, the defender grumbling under her breath.  

A sudden tug on your pants leg makes you smile, your eyes locking with your daughter’s Y/E/C orbs.  

“Mommy, Sonny said we could eat pizza with them at the hotel!” She grins and you smile, glancing at the blonde who grins, shrugging.  

“I mean, I thought it would be a good idea?” She grins apologetically and you smile, turning to Kelley.  

“Would you be okay with two more tonight?” You ask, but before she can say anything Megan practically leaps at you, as does Ashlyn.  

“Yeah!” Ashlyn grins and you chuckle.  

“We were going to have movie night! You can come too!” The goalie beams, everyone glancing at Kelley whose cheeks are blood red.  

“You okay with that?” You ask nervously and Bayley grins.  

“Yeah Auntie Kelley, can we come!?” She asks excitedly and she grins.  

“Of course you can.”  

                                                          ***

Kelley couldn’t help but glare at her teammates the entire way to the hotel, the women teasing her incessantly about her obvious crush on you and how you’d be attending movie night.  

“Wait, you realize we have to pick kid friendly movies right? I mean Bayley’s coming.”  

Rose practically leaps from her seat.  

“That can be arranged, see I have a number of Disney movies in my watch list...” 

The other are deep in conversation, leaving Kelley to her own thoughts, thoughts of not only you, but Bayley as well.  

A tap on her shoulder makes her jump, her head turning back and forth before her eyes settle on Alex, the woman wearing a massive grin.  

“Nervous?” She teases and Kelley shrugs, the defender’s cheeks red.  

“I want to tell her how I feel, but what if she rejects me...” Kelley shuffle nervously and Alex smiles.  

“She cares about you too.” Alex grins and the defender shrugs.  

“I know, but what if it’s not in THAT way?” She asks worriedly and Alex’s blue orbs soften.  

“Then she’ll be missing out on one hell of a person.”  

Kelley smirks.  

“Thanks Jan.”  

“Anytime Worm.”  

                                                          ***

“Mommy, are you ever going to tell Aunt Kelley you like her?” Bayley asks innocently and you gasp, turning to the little girl with wide eyes.  

“What do you mean?” You ask swallowing hard and Bayley scoffs.  

“You like her, and she likes you!” She says indignantly from the backseat and you shake your head.  

“Oh, and you know this for sure?” You tease and she huffs.  

“I do, you always smile at Auntie Kelley when she isn’t looking.” She sticks her tongue out and your eyes narrow.  

“You know too much.” You whisper teasingly and Bayley giggles.  

“I know EVERYTHING.”  

You roll your eyes playfully turning your attention back to the road, your cheeks pink.  

You didn’t realize until now just how many times you stared at the defender when she wasn’t looking, your heart skipping a beat in your chest.  

In the backseat, Bayley whispers under her breath.  

“Auntie Kelley looks at you the same way when you aren’t looking.”  

                                                          ***

“Hey, there you are.” Kelley smiles, opening the door to her hotel room where the others were gathering.  

“There she is!” Ashlyn opens her arms and Bayley runs in, wrapping her arms around her neck.  

“She the team’s new mascot?” You snort and Kelley grins.  

“Seems like it.”  

You place a hand on Kelley’s forearm and the defender stills, brown orbs wide.  

“Thanks, for letting us come here tonight, Bayley’s so happy and...” You pause. “And so am I.”  

Kelley’s lips split into a grin.  

“I’m happy you’re both here too.”  

Kelley turns around, her eyes narrowing when she sees that her spot has been taken by the team’s children, who were originally on the hotel room’s couch.  

“Move your feet, lose your seat.”  

Kelley growls, quickly realizing what her teammates had done when she realizes the hotel’s couch is empty.  

“Hey you can sit there.” Christen nods to the couch, nonchalantly, sending Kelley another stealthy wink like she had earlier.  

You immediately walk over and flop down on the couch, kicking off your shoes and stretching out.  

“Sorry Kel, the floor looks comfortable though.” You wink, the defender rolling her eyes as she flops down on top of you.  

“Ugh, god what have you been eating...?” You grumble, eventually getting out from under Kelley, the defender snickering.  

“We’ll be eating PIZZA soooonnn!” Sonnett grins and you chuckle, leaning towards Kelley.

“You can’t have any.” You stick your tongue out and Kelley rolls her eyes.

“Bite me.”

                                                          ***

“She’s so spoiled.” You lean towards Kelley with a whisper and the defender grins.  

Bayley was currently cuddled among the USWNT players, Frozen playing on the hotel’s television screen.  

Kelley lets out a lengthy yawn and you smile.  

“Tired?” You ask, giving her a playful nudge and she nods, yawning again.  

“Long day.”  

Brown orbs disappear behind her closing eyelids and you smile, the defender’s head resting on your shoulder.  

You hum glancing at the woman a few times with flushed cheeks.  

“Kel.” You whisper the woman sitting up with a gasp.  

“Wh-What?” She asks, head darting back and forth. “Is the movie over?” She asks and you shake your head.  

“No Auntie Kelley it just started.” Bayley giggles from the bed and you grin.  

You surprise not only the defender, but yourself, as you kick your shoes off and slip your feet up on the couch, Kelley now sitting between your legs.  

“Lay down.” You pat your chest, cheeks pink and Kelley blushes bright red.  

“I... U-Uh, are-are you sure?” She asks and you smile.  

“Of course, I am.”  

Kelley wiggles around for a moment, glancing at Alex who sends her a wink, the brunette’s cheeks flushing bright as she rests on your chest, shifting until she’s in a comfortable position, on her side, her ear resting over your beating heart.  

“Comfortable?” You ask and the defender nods.  

“Very.”  

Your attention leaves the TV entirely in favor of staring down at the woman on your chest, the woman who turns, nuzzling into your chest, making you cheeks flush even darker.  

It’s not long after that you find your fingers in Kelley’s hair, nails digging into her scalp, the woman purring as she leans into your touch.  

Eventually, she falls fast asleep, the feel of the woman on your chest making your own eyelids flutter.  

Soon, you too are fast asleep, Kelley’s teammates watching you with a grin.  

Bayley slaps a tiny palm to her forehead, everyone turning towards the little girl. 

“Finally.”  

                                                          ***

Your jostled awake sometime later, your eyelids cracking open to reveal your tired Y/E/C orbs.  

“Wh- Huh?” You yawn, realizing Kelley is still fast asleep on your chest.  

The hotel room is sparser than it had been before, in fact the only woman left is Alex, Bayley fast asleep on the bed behind her.  

“Get in bed you two.” She whispers and you grumble, looking down on your chest where Kelley is fast asleep.  

“No.” She growls, snuggling closer and you smirk.  

“Come on Kel, the bed is comfier.” You yawn, knowing full well that you were spending the night with the defender considering it was so late there was no way you could make it back home without falling asleep.  

Kelley grumbles, moving off of you and shuffling towards the bed, flopping down on it beside Bayley who rolls over, wrapping her arms around the defender who can't help but grin.  

“Thanks Alex.” You stretch, the forward grinning.  

“No problem, I’m gonna go stay with Christen and Tobin, it’s a free day tomorrow and I’m 100% sure Kelley will be sleeping in.”  

You snicker, glancing at the bed where Kelley is already snoring.  

“You don’t have to go... I mean...” You motion to the other bed, but Alex shakes her head.  

“See you tomorrow Y/N.” She smirks, turning and leaving the room without another word.  

You make your way towards the bed where your daughter and best friend lie fast asleep, your daughter snuggled into her chest.  

You shake your head, slipping the covers out from under them and drape them over the sleeping girls.  

You slip beneath the covers and almost immediately Kelley shuffles closer, the woman’s arms wrapping around both you and Bayley.  

Tired Y/E/C orbs dart between the two of them and you grin, your heart swelling in your chest.  

“I love you guys, so much...” You gently brush a strand of hair out of Kelley’s face with a loving smile. “I just wish I could tell you how much.” You whisper, your breath hitching when Kelley’s brown orbs flutter open, the woman slowly sitting up.  

“K-Kel... I-I...” You swallow hard when the defender cups your cheeks, leaning in, a distance you a quick to close between the two of you, your lips meeting Kelley’s in a tender kiss.  

The two of you pull apart, grins wide as you stare into one another’s eyes.  

“I think we have a lot to talk about, but right now I just want to hold you guys and sleep.” Kelley grins and you nod.  

“That we can agree on.”  

You shuffle around until you’re comfortable, your arms around not just Bayley but Kelley as well, the woman’s fingers intertwined with yours.  

Bayley grins, wiggling in your hold, the little girl happy that you and Kelley had finally revealed your true feelings to one another.  

“I love you guys.” Bayley whispers, your and Kelley’s smiles splitting into grins.  

“We love you too.”