#can j just feel normal :(
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Do you ever think that if Dazai one day decided to do things the conventional way, or act the closest thing to what people call normal, how much that'd freak out the people familiar with him?
-> Dazai walking into the PM with no bandages on, wearing a casual outfit fit for his age, to which Chuuya does a double take at, gaping in horror.
At first, Chuuya'd take on their normal bickering, rub his eyes dramatically as if he's seeing things- "Who the fuck are you???" He'd exclaim. But then he'd bombard him with questions, ask if he'd run out of bandages, tell him he has extra rolls in his office-
"You're acting as if being wrapped up in gauze is normal, stupid slug."
"It is for you."
-> Dazai finishing his whole plate of curry, asking for seconds, and Oda would watch him with eyes widened a fraction, his own version of a shocked stare.
He wouldn't say anything, because he's afraid that drawing attention to the action would make Dazai stop doing it. He'd share that with Ango later, though, and Ango wouldn't even believe him.
ā (tw) Dazai not expressing his infatuatation about suicide for an entire week, disappearing for Kunikida to find him in his dorm instead of the usual river.
He's sit with him, ask if he's okay, fumble his words when he touches on the subject. Because how can you approach someone about your concern regarding their lack of suicidal tendencies, lately?
-> Dazai showing up early to the ada, taking his coat off, and immediately working.
The whole agency would hide behind the entrance, watch him with wide eyes as they share questioning looks.
"He- He didn't flop on the couch at all???"
"He didn't even look its way!"
"I mean, that's great, but something just doesn't sit right with me-"
"Is he sick?"
"Even I can't explain what's happening right now."
"Someone do something!"
And ppl often assume that Kunikida would be ecstatic about this, but no, I believe he'd be the most horrified one of all, trying to make sense of things but ending up empty handed. š
Fukuzawa would come up to find a swarm at the door, watching something inside that he'd assume to be a spider at first.
"What is going on here?"
"Dazai's working."
Fukuzawa'd rush to confirm, and sure enough.
He'd sigh in resignation, knowing this day would come.
"Get the exorcist."
~
It's endlessly amusing, how Dazai has his own version of conventional that if he were to deviate from, just slightly, panic would ensue through the people he's familiar with.
Even if it leads him to do healthier actions.
Something is wrong, and they need to figure out what, because this isn't the Dazai they know.
#sharing my vision#this can apply to every character btw#Chuuya being reserved around Dazai isn't his normal#Kunikida not following a schedule isn't his normal#Oda being more expressive isn't his normal#but I chose Dazai cuz I feel he has the most 'unconventional' quirks that define him#I bet he'd do that out of nowhere just to fuck with everyone lmao š#also also this isn't to imply that making healthier choices all of a sudden is inherently 'wrong' or 'weird'#or that his friends shouldn't be supportive of that#They will be once they get through the shock of how sudden it is#but I'm more talking about the fact that this might imply that something bigger is going on#because Dazai deviating from his norm overnight could equally stem from something negative#ya get me?#tw suicide#tw suicide mentions#tw ed implied#bsd#dazai osamu#bungou stray dogs#bsd dazai#bsd scenarios#j's post#J's writing āš½#bsd hc#bsd hcs#chuuya nakahara#kunikida doppo#oda sakunosuke#armed detective agency#fukuzawa yukichi
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I decided to start talking about Wick and Rocky's relationship because I like their dynamics too, I like seeing Wick scared of Rocky and Rocky being aggressive with him, which is unusual because Rocky is rarely aggressive with anyone, but of course Wick is an exception to rule
Also my mini opinion about their possible relationship, I think that if Rocky didn't have to fight for his place, then he and Wick could become friends, or at least tolerate each other a little, I also see some superficial similarities, their gentlemanly and romantic natures, and their common love for explosions (remembering the quarrymen chapter), but this is my assumption, I think that I don't understand the characters' personalities well, so I can be wrong in this assumption, something like that. So, what do you think about their relationship?
for starters, i cannot thank you enough for this ask! as iāve said previously, i have many thoughts on these two, so itās nice to finally be able to share some of them. although given the extent to which i think about them, i apologize in advance if this is sloppy and sort of everywhere ā¦ while iāll try to structure things the best i can, i cannot promise iāll succeed! but hopefully this is an enjoyable reply nonetheless.
one of my favorite things about rocky and wickās relationship is absolutely how aggressive rocky is towards the aristocrat ; he is prone to glares and cruel jokes and borderline hissing whenever the man is within his line of sight, or can be brought to a wailing-fit over the mere mention of his name from miss mās mouth. there is a childishness to it, but a very prominent threat as well in spite of rockyās usual incompetence. so he goes out of his way to posture around wick, readily lying and adorning himself with the gangster drapes he so badly wants to wear, in the hopes that it intimidates ā¦ will even badmouth wickās family and make fun of his name and rock related obsession to mitzi, and so on so forth! yet all of this is very reminiscent of schoolyard bullying rather than anything too severe, though we as the audience understand rather quickly that rocky would bash wickās head in with a tire iron if he could. ( translation : if it wouldnāt earn the tears or hate of a certain beloved mitzi may ) and itās all very intense despite the absence of actual violence! and i understand why many fans see this as unusual for rocky and believe that itās only wick who makes him act so aggressively, but iād argue it isnāt really wick at all that prompts such scary reactions from him ā¦ and that rocky is a deeply angry character whoās a.) been boiling quietly for a long, long time and b.) has turned wick into a punching bag of sorts for this inner world of resentment and hurt. basically, when heās judging the well-to-do or poking fun, his eyes donāt look at wick and actually acknowledge him as sedgewick sable ; instead this is a being, something vague and metaphorical, who threatens to upseat rockyās permanence in the lackadaisy and steal away his savior, and heās had a hand in the violinistās misfortune for a long time.
obviously, rocky doesnāt think wick robbed him of his family twice over and made him homeless, but he is channeling the fear and anguish of those events into his loathing for wick, if that makes sense? itās easier that way -- to finally have an outlet for everything bleeding inside of you, to be able to bite and claw at something without feeling conflicted or having to take personal accountability for your own mistakes ā¦ which is something that i think rocky does struggle with to a degree. he is sort of a finger pointer! his pain has to be worth something, it has to be for someone else ; spending years homeless and losing his last bit of family was for freckle, and the scrambling of his literal brain was for mitzi, and that means he canāt ever be angry with them! well, except that he is, somewhat, but he buries it deep down instead of feeling it. with freckle there is a sense of strain between them -- an air of āyou owe meā from rocky to freckle as he uses freckle to appease miss m, and he constantly pokes fun at his cousin too. itās lighter than his jabs at wick, but thereās a constant pestering, a reminder of how good freckle has it : how heās got the mom and the house and the job and the girl most notably. i donāt think rocky is intending to come across as mean, and to his credit he hardly does! but itās rather clear to me that some part of him, some hidden and deeply hurt part, is rather indignant about taking the fall for freckle all those years ago. which he canāt understand, because how could he? he made that choice, he decided to take accountability for something he didnāt do because he loves freckle and knows itād be so easy to believe this family tragedy was roarkās fault ; the devilish child he was, all troublesome and too broken to properly fit anywhere. so there is a disconnect born here, where rocky canāt comprehend that heād be angry at freckle, so instead these not so great feelings are placed elsewhere and silently boil over time. and with mitzi ā¦ i donāt think heās angry at her per se, but there is a frustrated and desperate chorus of : why him and why not me, when iām the one out here dying for you? which is certainly unpleasant. of course, rather than allowing those feelings to be more aimed at miss m, whom he feels unloved by, he ( again! ) represses these emotions and allows them to fester into his greatest fears and fantastical complexes. i think there is a lot of other miscellaneous anger he could have towards others too ā¦ perhaps some part of him is sore upon seeing ivyās normal lifestyle, watching her go to university and knowing thatās been taken from him. or an ache felt when hearing stories from zib and the band and how they used to travel successfully, living as nomads, and rocky is all too reminded of his similar lifestyle and how he couldnāt make it work as effortlessly. people with immense trauma are more prone to irrational anger and jealousy, to viewing everything around them as unfair and believing itās even more unjust that so many people get to live comfortably while theyāve suffered. a situation that gets more messy when youāre someone like rocky, a man whoās willingly made choices that have harmed himself and wants to continue on with his smiling, bumbling fool of an act. he does not want to be angry, does not want to see it within himself, i think, which leads to an accidental increase of it.
all of this is to reiterate that wick is a scapegoat for rocky and nothing more. itās why heās rather hypocritical whenever it concerns the man. for example, it was stated by tracy that he looks down upon wick for his excessive presence at the bar, yet he appears to enjoy hanging out with zib -- who drinks just as often! he makes fun of how all wick ever talks about is rocks, when he himself is prone to poetry rambles that people find irritating or boring, and etc etc. this is also just a human nature thing, to critique someone you heavily dislike and even going as far as to belittle things you love or do in your own day to day because you just hate them that bad! but given rockyās willingness to befriend anyone, it more so reeks of a dehumanization element. wick is every obstacle in his way, every divine force that threatens to send him packing again, so he is equal parts unnerved by wickās presence and angry about it. it is mostly a fear response we are seeing, an emotion thatās morphed into long held resentment and anger. so his actions are extremely defensive, with him trying to push wick far away and keep him and mitzi separate, like some sort of animal attempting to ward off a threat thatās come too close to their home. despite the loaded animosity there, this hate has hardly reached its peak ā¦ but it shall only grow more intense as things continue onward iām afraid, since as it stands ( in the comic at least ) rocky is at an all time low ā¦ and is ten times more desperate. iād honestly say wick has become so warped in his mindās eye that he can only strive towards āwinningā over the other man, because thatās all he can see anymore. i think mitzi implying that wick willingly helped her out, the intense head injury, and rockyās fragile emotional state is exactly what pushes him towards premeditated murder in look-see. i donāt know how people perceive that arc, but to me itās very clear that rocky actively sought to see the deaths of wes and fish that night. going as far as to lament that heād be, āvery disappointed if ( he ) dreamed them,ā and purposefully luring the marigold duo away to have freckle pick them off. while you could argue that this was a smart move, in a gangster sort of sense, thereās still no denying that rocky is oddly chipper about the whole thing and is now seeking death out ; whereas before his methods of vengeance were just, well, ruining peopleās livelihood but ultimately leaving them alive. this isnāt to discredit the fact that rocky is going through something! he is in a very muddled and dark place, mentally and physically, but even tracy has said that the head injury hasnāt changed rockyās personality -- itās only brought things to the surface.
source : q&a with tracy .
which, yeah! makes sense! head trauma can cause a person to become a wreck emotionally ( think mood swings, irritability, etc ) but it doesnāt completely morph someone either. personality changes may occur, but itās not like youāre being rewritten entirely, you know? and given tracyās old statement, itās clear that āpersonality changesā arenāt a side effect heās suffering from. something that adds to my beginning statement, which is that rocky is a deeply angry and troubled person, more so than fans give him any credit for.
however, to touch upon your mini opinion about these two, i actually wholeheartedly agree that rocky and wick could become friends if circumstances were different. they do in fact have many superficial similarities, but one of the more prominent things they deeply share is never really belonging in the groups they frequent. this is more overt with rockyās character, yet wick faces it too in subtle ways. the well-to-do crowd, seen through the investors, find the gentleman to be lacking in about every place imaginable ; to them he is an obsessive freak who cares too deeply for meager rocks, something they constantly mock him for, while heās also being noticeably set apart from the rest of them ā¦ he seems younger than the investors, more excitable, passionate, and a little less experienced, and doesnāt seem to care for money or reputation as much as them either. there is a constant rubbing between him and them, where what he enjoys is seen as wrong, such as his love for the lackadaisy and his choice in paramor, a grieving widow with extremely dangerous ties. we also know that wick doesnāt have many friends at all, with the only two he has being lacy and church ( church is listed as such on his character profile, in a sort of tongue-in-cheek way ), both of whom work for or with him. they are obliged to hang around, and while they care in varying ways, they are prone to judging him just as much. honestly, itās not shocking that wick seeks refuge at his chosen speakeasy! but even there he is rather distant from everyone else. he doesnāt speak to zib ever in the comics, nor seems all too close with viktor, ivy, or horatio ā¦ it is merely mitzi he is close to, even if he knows of the other people who work there. and, once again, wick very obviously doesnāt fit in. he is not gangster material, could never be an atlas may replacement, much less someone who could get his paws dirty in such an active way. so he has his feet in two different worlds and doesnāt know how to fit into either of them, or which one he actually wants to fit into more. i think in many ways rocky could relate -- these are two very lonely people who wish to belong somewhere and be accepted by some group or another but go about it in all the wrong ways. wick, who is too hesitant to fully commit to what he wants and is worse off for it, and then rocky, who obsessively throws himself against what he wants until he breaks every bone in his body. they also have explosives to bond over, lol, and other miscellaneous things like their taste in women i suppose ā¦ but this potential bond adds to the tragedy of lackadaisy, where we see two people who on every level should get along but weāre burdened with the knowledge that itās an impossibility anyway, because thereās no removing the circumstance of which theyāre in.
though i like to believe that despite wickās fear of rocky, he maintains a kindness towards him regardless. i think his worries about rocky are rather surface level ā¦ he doesnāt know the boy at all, really, and thus canāt make heads or tails of him, hence him believing the lie in balderdash. so when iām feeling particularly self indulgent, i like imagining a world where theyāre forced together and sort of āstuckā together ; to which rocky finally breaks and exposes his wounds to wick, in every sense of the word, and wick finally gets him. the aggression, the possessiveness of mitzi ā¦ it is all fear and desperation and a profound sadness, things heād sympathize with. if rocky was able to explain that he loathes wick because if he saves the lackadaisy then mitzi wonāt need him anymore and that itās not fair that wick gets to so easily fix things when rocky would give his soul for his home, for her, and how wick could render every sacrifice heās already made for naught by smoothing things over with some greenbacks and he canāt lose this, he just canāt --! ā¦ which, well, wick is too kind of a man to be able to do anything except feel awful, even though itās not his fault at all. here we have two people who could coexist! and they should, since rocky logically canāt do every speakeasy job ( band member, rumrunner, mitziās shadow, also the guy who gets the money for the hooch ) by himself, just like how wick canāt save the lackadaisy with only his cash and limited booze stash. itād be a joint cooperation, a collaboration between them, both equally important in the grand scheme of crimeās every turning wheel ā¦ but rockyās rage and fear wonāt let him see that, and likely never will. still, in scenarios where everything ends up alright for the lackadaisy and the people involved in it ( which is not how canon will go, by the way ), i fancy wick and rocky getting better within their relationship. rocky will always be prickly and quick to upset around the other man sadly, but perhaps he could see wick in a softer kind of light. or at least understand vaguely enough that he isnāt out to get rocky, so to speak. and then maybe wick learns that pancakes soothe rockyās ire and poorly makes them anytime he wishes to talk to the man, and other fun things like that! but you should have more confidence in your character analysis skills, because you were spot on ( at least in my eyes ) about them potentially getting along if things were different. itās certainly a fun aspect to play around with, and is important to note when discussing their relationship so you can fully understand just how warped rockyās perspective on things are. and how unstable and traumatized he is too, of course </3 sidenote, but i also hope that throughout everything iāve said here, or anything iāve said before on my blog, that my love for rocky and my own sympathy for him comes across well enough. while heās deeply flawed and i have no qualms discussing said flaws in depth, i also donāt think of him as some insane freak whoās evil at his core or anything like that. honestly, i adore analyzing him so much as a character because of how far down his issues go! heās very well written, iāll say, as is wick and many of the other characters, but i digress.
once more, thank you for the ask! iāll end this here because i fear if i donāt iāll start going in circles, since their relationship is so vast and very important for rocky in a character sense. hopefully i shed some more light on it though! i love these two to bits and pieces and i wouldnāt be half as invested in lackadaisy if their dynamic wasnāt so monumental -- at least to me.
#my asks.#lackadaisy analysis.#lackadaisy#rocky rickaby#sedgewick sable#tracy j butler#i also think rockyās sudden taste for marigold blood is him making marigold his other scapegoat#he isnāt dealing with anything in a healthy manner and is so traumatized itās starting to spill out of him ā¦ which is. uh. not good!!#but it sure is whatās currently happening regardless#cannot stress enough that rock is a very ill and traumatized individual who hasnāt had a single break in his life#he is constantly in stressful situations that are dangerous ā¦ and like.#when youāre constantly put in those situations you become numb. and angry. and it becomes hard to heal#or to truly connect to others ā¦ etc#i could talk in depth about rockyās traumas and why theyāve caused this anger issue and this inner disharmony inside#because frankly thereās a lot there! and i hate to say it but people who are hurt normally show their hurt in ugly ways#especially if mentally ill ā¦ which rocky is imo#itās just the reality of things! this isnāt me demonizing mental illness or the effects of trauma. iām just being realistic here#someone as deeply troubled as rocky ( someone with NO outlet and whom hides his feelings from others and himself )#is bound to be. well. troubled!! his smiling facade is merely another mask he wears to cope and to be good for the people he loves#it is not ā¦ really rocky rickaby ā¦ rocky rickaby is that and the wrath and the self destruction and more#AHEM but i digress. how rocky treats wick and all that has really done wonders for understanding his character#and i truly love the wick / rocky / mitzi trio so bad. their relationships with each other is what drew me into this world#like. i am shaking them so much. the overlap!! the complexities inherit in their bonds and what that says about the individual characters!#itās amazing truly lol like ā¦ i have had such fun thinking about them twenty four seven for the past three-ish months#anyway. anyway! i love analyzing these bitches. they can fit so much into them#and iām rooting for wickmitzi endgame and for wick to desperately try to bond with rocky ā¦ while his bloodshot eye is twitching as we speak#lots of fun!!! lots of pain and agony too ā¦ rocky is nothing but a painful character alas. that is his nature. but that is also his appeal#and ooops iāll shut up in the tags now i just. have a lot to say. and a lotta love to give to these two!! but uh. yeah <3 loved writing thi
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just a gentle reminder that THIS is how big the spines around blamore's neck are whenever he doesn't shrink them... so, it's pretty much a surefire way for it to keep other people away from him, NGL ā ļø (unless you are trying to get poked in the eye JSJSJ / j i'm kidding, i'm kidding (,: but blamore really does have several natural defenses against any 'aggressors,' i guess you could say, and it's spines REALLY add to it's uncannyness whenever they're at full - length ).
#IT WAS PROBABLY NOTHING BUT IT FELT LIKE THE WORLD: musings.#yeah... i have yet to talk about the spines around blamore's neck so i thought ' why not do that today? ' BUT -#i just wanted to let you all know that unless i specify otherwise in an rp then blamore has shrunk the size of them BC although he cannot-#make them go away it can at least make them a littleee more manageable to walk around with (': because i can imagine that they'd -#probably get caught on a lot of thing's if they were at full length all the time LOL but as i was saying here if blamore stretches them to-#their normal size then you should DEFINITELY assume that blamore sees you as a threat because they both serve a psychologically -#defensive purpose as well as a physically defensive one because i mean. I can probably imagine that some people might back down-#if they see them springing out of his neck all of a sudden like THAT but for those who still want to fight him? well then they could kind o#serve as a guard to his neck / head from being injured or cut off though there is a vulnerable spot between the bones of it but SHHH#i didn't tell y'all that / j LMAO i'm just joking again but yesss. they are VERY pointy and feel strong if you were granted permission to-#touch them by blamore + it is a little more lenient of letting people touching it's spines around his neck compared to his spine#so perhaps that could happen to y'all oc. who knows... š#tw: bones.#MAN IS BOUND TO LIE ABOUT HIMSELF: headcanons.
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If I got a DnDads tattoo would that be peak cringe or-
#listen. alright. hey listen listen listen#I have like. 3/4 tattoo ideas currently.#I want a bear skull with flowers for my shoulder. a garfield on my shoulderblade.#and then a bigtop burger tatto and now recently. a dndads tattoo. havent sketched out ideas for either but im thinking!!!!#i was like ā oh maybe i can like. commission?????? handwriting??? from the cast??ā bc thats normal#but also in the unfortunate circumstance of Public Figure being exposed for Bad Thing i would fucking personally skin myself .#Bigtop Burger one would either be Penny based or something with the J family from Wire......#OK I DID SKETCH OUT A FOREARM TATTOO. OF THE J FAMILY SLIDING DOWN A WIRE TOGETHER but idk if i want something that obvious yknow#Other dndad tatto ideas: Darryl Wilson's fucked up hand. Like a Dndads ācrestā. A D20 with different character items as numbers?#Also was thinking a doodler tattoo bc that covers S1 and 2#And if i got cast handwriting. it would either be just Matt or All of Them. and just having Matt feels wrong??????#like ā sorry.... only he gets his handwriting on my bodyā thats just Weird.#dndads#dungeons and daddies#tagging this because fuck it we ball#maybe one of Darryl's brew? like the bottle. i do like bottles#it would be a forearm tattoo ideally
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Normally meh about soulmate aus but I think a Jonsasha au where they arenāt originally each otherās soulmates until they both start becoming the Archivist. They make themselves the otherās soulmate without even meaning to. There is no one else who could understand them. Soulmates because they are two halves of one monster. The Archivist is only complete when they work together. When they become one mind in two bodies. By the time the world ends their soulmate marks have already been warped beyond anything that could be understood as a soulmate mark by most.
#although honestly you donāt even need a soulmate au for most of this#just the marks I think#watching your mark change and knowing that whatās happening to you isnāt the machinations of fate#or a predestined occurrence#but a CHOICE#if you were meant for each other then maybe becoming a monster was just what was meant for you#but thatās not what happened. the marks changed. you chose to become this and you chose each other#normally Iām not super big on soulmate aus?#like Iāll read them if I like the ship or the premise catches my eye#but I donāt often think about them or seek them out unless I can find something to chew on#and I like the idea of jonsasha as eldritch soulmates#warping each otherās fates with the weight of their choices#Iām not even hyper fixated that much on tma anymore but I still love this ship so much#so much potential I love to chew on Them#jonsasha#since thisāll probably show up in the tma tag:#please no j//mart or martin#I donāt like the ship and I donāt like him#Iām not sure how many people will read this far into the tags#but I always feel like Iām throwing a fit over nothing putting my āno martinā request in the actual post itself#tma enjoyed unfamiliar with my martinhate I am going to trust you to either read the tags or to not see any reason to bring martin into#*enjoyers#my nice wholesome eldritch soul-warping jonsasha au#do not let me down#jonshipping#<- tag for putting jon into relationships so that I can rotate him like the pretzel#also also not mentioned in this post but jonsasha are t4t#ok thatās all thank you#goodnight tristate area
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To me personally malistaire is the funniest and most pathetic villain wizard101 has ever had AND I MEAN THAT SINCERELY!!! Between doomed children who have been manipulated, groomed, and isolated into becoming products of their environments, someone scorned who has been punished unfairly by having your biological heart torn out your chest and turning your children and all of reality against you to satiate their own ego, a nonhuman entity so powerful and so clueless they unintentionally threaten the lives of everyone around them, Malistaire FELL DOWN BRO. Like yeah you're bitchless now. You and me both. Get in line. Everyone in this room is bitchless. We are ALL living that āØļæ½ļæ½ļæ½ļ潚¾ššŗ Single Lifeā¢. You are a middle-aged man. Cope
#this post is lighthearted btw JELAJWODJTU i aint actually mad#but like...... malistaire as a villain is kinda mid though im sorry. IM SORRY ill take the L opinion if i have to#its one thing if he lost his wife to unfair systematic negligence or thru someone else's doings or smth but. no she just got sick bro š#HWMSNFLEKSDIDOA EVERY ONCE IN A WHILE I WILL GIVW A BAD OPINION AND THIS IS ONE OF THEM. i cant be right ALL the time /j#like if i dont focus on malistaire's motives and just his ACTIONS he seems super metal#but then he does ALLLLL of that heinous shit because his wife died. like thats absolutely very sad but damn get a grip#(fandom starts breaking in my windows and drags me out into the street) IM SORRY IM SORRY LOOK ITS JUST NOT MY CUP OF TEA#ive never been invested in those Mr. Freeze types of villains where a person they love dies due to normal circumstances-#and they go fucking BERSERK. they LOSE IT. they go like āwell okay fuck the entire world i guess nothing mattersā and then kill people#LIKE IF IT'S DONE IN A CERTAIN WAY I CAN BE INVESTED but more often than not to me? its just kind of funny#like āokay damn there was only ONE person keeping you from being a national criminal? okayā#and you know what? thats a mood actually. thats a mood#without my cat i probanly would have become the president by now#for some reason its a little diff for me if its like a child you lost and idk why#like if malistaire lost a kid instead of his wife id probably be more inclined to feel bad and thats terribly fucked up JSLSJSJSJ#you know what its also bias because in some shape or form i relate to all the other villains. morganthe and duncan especially#whereas in malitsaire's case i have never been married. which i mean doesnt stop me from tryna be more synpathetic i guess but im just not#ONCE AGAIN FEEL VERY BAD FOR HIM AND SULVIA. like losing someone to sickness or any reason really is a serious thing#but in terms of a fictional setting with fictional characters where one of them decides to commit genocide over it? š§ like okay boo u do u#i will gladly give up my mantle for the āmost reasonable opinionsā guy in the fandom foe this one. i deserve it#wizard101#w101#wiz101#text posts#malistaire drake
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Handing you .. fanart of your Juniper mask >:] I promised to myself I'd draw this ever since you dropped the design it's SO COOL!!! i hope you dont mind!
I'M GOING TO CRY YOU'RE TOO KIND OH MY GOD,,,,,,i NEVER mind ppl drawing my designs Im honoured you liked it so much to DRAW IT???????? I'm grinning like a bastard this has made my day, thank you so so so much
#screaming crying sobbing /pos#you're so kind im losing my mind over this#im never living this down you're so talented and you drew MY SILLY DESIGN??? overwhelming /pos#im so im so !!!!!!!!! AUUUUU#tysm like fr this means so much im so full of thank yous I've been rendered speechless#asks#[Agent: genebeanz]#[fanart]#<- AAAAAAAAA#ieytd#john juniper#im so. auu im gonna be riding this high all day#sobbinf........#im just staring at it man AUUAUAUA so kind im so im so i cant explain the emotion but i can feel it in my whole body#pure joy methinks#im a simple man.....one juniper drawing and all of a sudden im buzzing and then square that feeling because it's YOU????????#genuinely your comments on my art is such a huge inspiration to me for keeping at it man#this whole fandom has that effect in me tbh like it's so kind and close knit#auuu#okay im gonna stop rambling because I'll be here all day but one last time thank you oh my god#i react normally to things š/j
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Me> [struggling to unravel a very annoying UI bug]
My brain, entirely unprompted> H E Y. IF JAHEIRA HAD USED SOME MORE MINOR VERSION OF THAT RITE OF THE TIMELESS BODY ON RASAAD TO EXTEND HIS LIFESPAN, IT WOULD RESOLVE THE MORE FINICKY TIMELINE ISSUES ABOUT RION BEING THEIR KID.
Me> ...ok? I didn't ask right now but thank you for working that out I guess.
#bjk talks#i need some sort of ship name tag for them so people can ignore my ramblings about it XD#i loved astreamofstars's headcanon that rion actually is jaheira's biological kid and named for gorion#which in my worldstate headcanon would definitely make her also rasaad's#but given Rasaad is human and definitely seems at least in his thirties in bg2#and rion is a half elf but is definitely still a young adult which feels like she's 50 at most#the timeline gets funky bc rasaad would have been like 80 :P#which is like physiologically possible but unlikely in the normal run of things#i had been speculating that J originally researched the rite in the first place at least partly to extend their time together#and her dialogue implies she never figured it out completely (and also had more altruistic intentions for its use at full power)#but no reason that there couldn't have been some lower-level version involved#bc it's magic XD#and i can do what i want#anyway ty for coming to my self-indulgent ted talk#i need to start working on the next chapter of Open Your Eyes#ETA: zenjestrr just pointed out to me that as a monk Rasaad would have Timeless Body feature which simplifies things physiologically XD#yay DND#it's more complicated than just that of course and now i'm resisting writing a whole essay about jaheira's thought processes#XD
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U mean U and the others (unholy trinity of Tsaritsa simps) did drag me down a wormhole of oc-ing an existing character with lore and yet still making it adapt to your fic.
in my defense her lore is extremely vague descriptions by other people (who may be biased. staring directly at childe. staring very hard at childe.) and like. the gem description im just working with what i got. also i don't trust hoyo to write my wife correctly so as far im concerned anything they write abt her isn't canon until i approve it /j
#asks#the-white-void#img block#my tsaritsa is a vague vision in my head i cannot properly articulate and no amount of words can properly explain how much i think abt her#the goddess of love who feels no love for her people just as they feel no love for her.#there is an inherit tragedy in her refusal of the aspect she originally represented because she knows she must#teyvat is simply a tragedy and she is playing her part.#there is simply smth so chefs kiss abt the imagery of a woman so gentle and full of love being so cold#she is gentle at her core but shes had to bury it so deep ppl have already forgotten what that was like. all they remember is the cold#its like. outwardly she looks elegent and gentle. a fitting vessel for a goddess of love#but her eyes are devoid of love. devoid of sympathy. devoid of anything but a cold glare just like the element she embodies.#i need that dead eyed look like childe. absolutely blank.#absolutely deadpan voice. monotone and lifeless just like her nation#I COULD TLAK SM ABT TSARITSA IMAGERY AND THE CONTRAST BETWEEN GODDESS OF LOVE VS CRYO ARCHON IT DRIVES ME NUTS#I'm so normal abt hrr i need 2 be put down ill shut up now#never give me the opportunity to speak abt her i wont stop talking#I'm hitting bones over the head w a rock ITS HER FAULT IF SHE DIDNT WRITE TSARITSA THAT ONE TIME ID BE NORMAL???? /j /lh#i could also talk abt childe + tsaritsa bc they make me feral but this is goingon to long i need 2 be put doen
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#shutup sensitive#like i feel the need to feel physical but i cant leave my bed and im not#i cant do any of that rn except something light like itingbay myself but ??? idk what THAT is i should just obliterate my brain with thc? y#yes yes#im so#weak hahaha how do j be more destructive wo killing myself or hurting my loved ones#how do i hurt me without hurting me toooo much yknow#ding ding ding! take away your emotions with the grass#putting down the keyboard and picking up the lighter#delete later#ive been so good for so long#i can keep being good#so i will bc everyone knows its normal for me to be high but im gonna smoke soooo much#im gonna forget i was sad
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Sorry guys I live for three things and that's D&D, Bears, and my Ocs and I've been trying to draw my little guys more bc they make my brain BLEED
Fun little chart thing so I can just. Be free . And now you gotta look. I'm still drawing DnDads stuff too DON'T SWEAT!!!!! like here look
Glenn Wip.
#dndads#ocs#wips#dndads spoilers#idk how to draw Glenn so bear with me. i will figure it out. im at the trial arc again and its hitting the feelings#also my ocs!!!!! you dont fucking care but sit down let me talk /j#from right to left! Dulcie. Jamison. Caspian. Eli. Lorraine. Barren. and Anthony.#I've thought about drawing Dulcie and Eli with the Daddies before just for funsiessssss#you cant tell but Eli is a massive naga and Dulcie is an ice cream slime girl so you can figure out why i havent yet.#Caspian is also a half giant and hes like if Darryl and Henry had a well adjusted son ( normal person )#Anthony is half vampire and no relation to the Burch kind#Barren is a ghost. weirdo. Lorraine is just a human but shesss cool and has an adiptive daughter
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you know if you guys voted for stretch armstrong i probably would have shut up a lot sooner tonight
#so really this is all your fault /lh /j#i love thinking about h2o tho so im happy#VERY FUCKING TIRED THO WISH I COULD SLEEP#i think my brain is kicking into overdrive after being filled with cotton the past 3 days which. hey im glad ur back bud#CAN YOU SHUT UP NOW I NEED REST#i was just thinking because im probably not posting that essay i will summarize here (i saw#that privating it made it lose like 4 recently edited paragraphs and i don't want to type all that out again my memory isn't good enough)#it just boiled down to the pods basically making a self fulfilling prophecy by orphaning their sons and making them increasingly#desperate for connections to other people like them which is why i think erik behaves the way he does esp when ondina is around#like i am not excusing his actions in the slightest dont get me wrong here he really fucked up BUT#his last conversation with ondina before he goes to the chamber kind of sold that idea to me#how he scoffs at her saying rita says it's dangerous because she's 'old school' and of COURSE old school mermaids think all mermen are evil#and then starts adding on how he wants to do this for HER and get her home back for her by controlling it#like a bit of an add-on at the end to try and convince her#i think what he really wants is to be hailed as a hero. you know. validation and acceptance from the ppl who originally abandoned him#the OGs who made him feel like an outsider. the ppl who ripped everything away from him just bc of the way he was born (which is prob why#when he's trying to convince zac to help him he keeps bringing up their ancestors bc that's what unifies them)#i don't think he's an evil dude per se i think he thought stealing the trident stone from rita's grotto would be small peanuts in the past#once he finally got the pod to come home bc he genuinely (mistakenly) believed he COULD control the power of the chamber#i also think that's why the camera keeps focusing on his face when he's watching the others panic over#zac's sacrifice and i think he is feeling jealousy bc they are paying attention to him and not Erik#like that's not the face of someone who deeply regrets what they just did. my guy is just sitting there like 'that should be me rn'#i think that is why he also sounds so desperate to make things right with ondina afterwards. iirc he's just like 'wait no we can start ove#RIGHT?' and she's like 'uhhhh... no??????' (valid). my dude is lonely as fuck and he finally found a group of ppl like him and he messed up#big time just trying to get their attention and affection bc he couldn't just be normal abt it he had to go big or go home#like i kind of feel bad for him in a way#but i feel bad for everyone#i felt bad for denman the other day! that's how bad this is getting!!#i mean come on imagine making the scientific discovery of a LIFETIME only for all that shit to happen in a row#especially after you get your comeback. they just go right back to fucking you over again
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I should sleep
#instead Iām thinkinb#holidays are scary because you donāt get that confirmation that your friends still like you#because they donāt talk to you daily#which is normal but my brain seems to have decided that they all hate me#AND I KNOW IT ISNT TRUE#but still#the little voice#I shared tiramisu with my uncle today#it was nice#and the cousins played monopoly and they all gave me their money when they stopped#(Iām the favourite hehehehe /j)#nah Iām just the oldest which looks the same from the outside#also multiple far family members didnāt reconize me#not sure how to feel about that#and I watched spiderverse with my little brother#and read#lots#if I can read 52 books next year#my mom will buy me a book!!!#sorry for rambling#in the tags#itās just too much fun#good night
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onesided radiostatic this, radiosilence that, hear me out.
onesided (queer)platonic radiohusk from husk's side in overlord!era.
#and then al betraying their somewhat-friendship by literally owning his soul#you wanted me? well lucky you now you stuck with me forever#hear me out once more#it turning into onesided platonic attraction from AL's side after he started owning Husk#coz he feels secure enough to let the mere interest in another flow into the desire for sth more#husk losing his absolute shit in betrayal coz he trusted al in the friendship they formed#but now seeing that this whole show was just to get him into the contract in a more sneaky/manipulative way#mb him trying to connect with al once more but dropping attempts as al only sees him as a pet#husk understanding that w the stupid power dynamic they can never form anything normal and healthy#yet still holding some sort of twisted care for al even after he owns his soul j for the sake of old times#it's just much less genuine this time#oof the angst ouch the pain and two people who can't use their mouth to talk feelings out coz they both suck in it immensely#platonic radiohusk#i mean technically it can be romantic as well if u wish but j my thought
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I always tell myself 'ohhh you should post more on Tumblr so you can make more friends to talk about Yugioh with' and then I never do it šŖ Rambling into twitter private profiles is my eternal prison.
#random ramble#HAAAAA I have 4 friends I can duel with but its always so irregular... its a shame i just want to talk about yugioh all day every day#things that are too much to ask š#personal#up for deletion idk if im ready to share myself with tumblr yet#i feel so... exposed#my little lock prison on twt is so nice i can say what j want (i dont say anything ever i just rt a bunch of ygo post)#and sometimes go 'DRAGONS'. cause i need to affirm my dragon autism on the daily#I OVE DRAGONS BTW CAN DRAGON LOVERD BE MY FRIENDS#it can be not about yugioh but i will talk about yugioh dragons i hope thats okay pretty pretty please.#I just. GRRRRRRRUURTGHHHGH#(normal sounds made by normal people)#definitely getting deleted.
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btw controversial but fuckk ptsd dude yohre telling me judt bc my parents shouldnt ever have been parents now i have to be fucked up for the rest of my life .
#i know like..coping mechanisms and ris8ng above and learning to live with it but like its fucking stupid and unfair bc im never gonna stop#having ptsd yk. my episodes might get less frequent i might build happier memories but jm always gonna have these memory blocks and trigger#s and nightmares like. forever. im never gonna get to have had a normal childhood thats the most fuckedbup thing ever#like ik this is whiny but like. why. why me what did i do to deserve that childhood. not that any kid deserves abusive childhoods obviously#it sounds like im like ermmm there r wayyy worse kids who shouldve been the ones to go to the zoo š but like ykwim. why does#thus have to happen to so many ppl i hate it i hate it. i wish i could just Actually forget everything instead of just like. not rly#remembering it but Knowing it..yk. i know everything that happened to me even if its all blocked out#and i still feel like. the effects of it even the stuff thats jncredibly hazy to me. and jm never not gojng to feel that. my personality hs#literally been fucking shaped by the childhood i have and like. yes you can 'change' your personality a bit and your choices blah blah blah#but like. even with that. im still always gonna be like. my first impulse will always be distrust and doubt and fear. even if i train#myself not to Act on those emotions i still will always feel them. im always going to expect people to leave even if they dont even if i#dont let myself push them away its something im always going to be terrified of in the back of my mind. im never gojng to have#proper social skills bc i fully missed out on that stage of development im never going to be like. at the same level as my peers bc i#missed out on those skills. sigh. ik ik ik feeljng inhuman and feeljng different from everybody else is a jniversal thing but i truly think#im like. im missing something that everybody else seems to have and i dont even know what it is but i know i dont have it and everyone#can tell j dont have it and it fucking. sucks . basically
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