#can anyone tell I am really into sarcasm as a form of comedy? ANYWAYS

[themillsdaughter]

a privilege I deprive myself of

Synopsis: you would rather chew glass than see Melissa yearn for something and not have it delivered to her. the thing, however, is that your life is a shitshow, and what was meant to be an act of kindness upends any effort you've made throughout the years to keep your feelings hidden.

or slightly insecure! Melissa and traumatized! reader in a Valentine's Day au inspired by this prompt.

Words: 3.9k

Warnings: Talks of body image.

Also, my first time dabbling in this fandom and character, so... Hope you like it!

This isn’t ideal.

Valentine's Day has never been your favorite. Truthfully, you think it’s only yet another excuse for Capitalism to suck some extra cash out of millions of pockets.

You’ve thought this your entire life, regardless of being in a relationship or not. The thing, however, is that you live in a capitalist society and escaping the emotional reliance on the holiday is damn near impossible. So, throughout the years, you’ve come to terms with at least doing something for partners on the day.

Well, that is, until you’d walked in your apartment one day and found your girlfriend straddling a woman you’d never seen before.

This year, you’re single, so the whole thing had just slipped into the background, a red and pink festival more than anything else, really.

“You’re not doing anything?” Janine had asked a few days before in the teachers' lounge, brow furrowed, pity shining in her eyes. Dear God. “You know, Galentine’s Day is really popular now.”

“Honey, I barely want to celebrate the day when I have someone. Why would I make a fuss now that I have an out?” You’d gone back to grading, trying your damnest not to roll your eyes.

“Well, Tariq used to be like that, too. Even though we were together. Sometimes he would forget and go on trips, and those times were pretty lonely… You know, with all the hearts and chocolate and candles and couples around. Not that that’s the case this year, you know. I’m with Maurice, and he’s super attentive.” Her uncomfortable fidgeting had made her chair squeak. As sweet as she is, she should really learn how to stop projecting. “Anyways, I just worry about you. I don’t want you to feel lonely.”

“I don’t.”

“She doesn’t.” Melissa had said, at the same time as you. Looking up from the papers, you’d shared a grin with her. “She has enough wondering thoughts to keep her company.”

Finally, you’d given into your urge and rolled your eyes.

So this really isn’t ideal.

“I think this one is too tight, though.” The voice coming from your phone said. You turned the heat from the stove down, placed a half-lid over the pan, and picked up the device from the counter. On the screen, you saw something that made you pull out a stool from your island and thank God that the woman on the other side of the line was too busy looking at herself in the mirror, brows furiously furrowed, to notice.

Melissa had her hair up in a messy bun, her old pair of glasses hanging in the middle of her nose, and a dark red dress on that stole the breath from your lungs.

The material was soft, with satin-like finish, puffy long sleeves, a square neckline that showed her cleavage to perfection and a skirt that hit her a few inches above her knees.

Nervously, her hands tried to smooth over the creases formed on the dress by her belly.

“Maybe I could wear some spanks” she sighed. “It’s too tight, right?” She turned back to where the phone was, asking you directly.

For a few seconds, you struggled to think of something other than ‘uh’ to say. Melissa is stunning and, in those moments, you wished you’d been braver back when you’d had the chance. Maybe, she’d be asking Barbara this, getting ready as a surprise for you, not for somebody else. 

In a breath, you swallowed that feeling, locking it away with all the ones of its kind, somewhere deep, deep in your soul.

“Hun? It’s too tight, isn’t it? Who the fuck do I think I am trying on something like this.” She’d taken your silence as disapproval, and if she only knew you’d only want to see that off of her if you’d taken it out yourself…

“Shut up, will you?” You finally said. “It’s gorgeous, it looks awesome on you.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s the nicest one of the bunch.”

“I don’t know if I have spanks short enough for it, though. And I need something to get this under control.” She pushed her belly in again, and it enraged you.

“Anyone who doesn’t find that hot is not someone you should listen to.” You said, holding back the rant that always appeared on the tip of your tongue when she said shit like this.

Honestly, the struggle of straight men to like women is mind-boggling.

“You might just be too gay for this.” Melissa snorted, going into her drawer in search of the spanks.

“Well, fuck you very much.”

She barked out a laugh, and you let go of your phone to stir the food you were cooking, glad for a break from the glory of the woman you did not love like that.

Which is yet another reason why this isn’t ideal.

You don’t really care for Valentine's Day, but on the morning of the 14th, Melissa had seemed off. You tried touching on the subject while you two got coffee, as weak as Abbott’s brew always was, however, Gary walked in in all of his mustached glory and her attention immediately shifted to him.

He’s her boyfriend, it’s Valentine's Day, it was only logical.

She gave him hint after hint, pushed her shoulders a bit back, highlighting her breasts just slightly, cocked her hips some while leaning against the sink, licked her lips more than usual, everything to get an ounce of attention back. The absolute idiot fussed over the vending machine, mumbled a few words to her, eyes not even moving in her direction, before leaving with a “see ya later” tossed behind him.

The look that had taken over her face then had made your heart sink.

“He’s been like this all week.” She said during lunch break in your car. “Barbara thinks he might be planning something, says he’s not cheating, but I don’t know… I tried fooling myself with getting the perfect outfit, getting my hair and my nails done, but he hasn’t mentioned any plans, and he’s been so fucking distant, he doesn’t even seem like himself. And I really can’t handle another Joe situation.” Taking the last bite of the Shepard’s pie you’d brought her, she leaned her head against the rest.

To nearly everybody else here, she shows her angry, reactive, gray side. It’s easier for her, something that still makes her an outcast, but firmly protects her inner-self. But some magical, all-powerful, incredible being out there had made it so you were the one she chose to show her other side to, the one that is not always confident, not in her worth or her looks or her ability as a teacher.

The one that loves so intensely it scares her, and the one that has so many scars she spends half her time trying to heal them, or, at the very least, stop them from bleeding all over the place and being visible to the outside world.

“What do you think?” She said, bringing you back to the inside of your 2010s Honda. “You’ve always been better at these things.”

“Do I think he’s cheating on you?”

She nodded.

“Well, first of all, if he is, he is an absolute deepshit who doesn’t know how to count his blessing for you even giving him the time of day.”

You looked into her eyes while you said it, and she turned her head after, staring at the Tupperware in her hands. You thought you saw a blush creeping up on her cheeks.

“But I don’t think he is. Hey, maybe he’s just seen Valentine’s Day for what it is!” You nudged her arm with the back of your hand. “Maybe you’re the one who has to get on board.”

She relented a smile then, but it didn’t last.

“Mel, I think you’ll just have to ride this one out. Wait until the end of the day, so then you can actually have a conversation with him. If he really forgot or if there’s really something wrong, you’ll find out, but, honestly, me? I think he might just have some goofy-ass surprise planned.”

Melissa nodded while keeping her gaze out the window.

There’s a beat, then another, and you thought perhaps you’d convinced her, and she was only taking some time to absorb it.

“You know, you may not feel lonely with this kind of stuff, but…” She paused, voice tired, heart bearing all those tender scars, “I think I’m more like Janine than I’d thought.”

So, hm, this isn’t ideal.

You’d be damned if you let a man who didn’t realize the one in a million he had found ruin Melissa’s day.

Even if Valentine’s Day was traumatic for you, even if it was silly and forced and the world would be better off without it, Melissa was Melissa, and she deserved everything she wanted out of life. You’d thought Gary would see it, but if he didn’t, it’s up to you, even with all your emotional limitations.

So you wrote a little card. Nothing much, just made out of a fancier piece of purple paper you’d had lying around the classroom, with a heart-sticker you’d found at the bottom of your purse decorating the front page. Inside, the note wasn’t all that special, just enough for her to know she would never be alone. That you loved her. That she’d always have you, even if one day she didn’t have anyone else. That she’s your favorite, and if she wanted to, you’d take her out for dinner yourself.

As a friend, of course. Truly.

The fact she made your chest inflate and your pressure drop and a flock of butterflies run a full marathon in your stomach were not things that were included.

After sending the students home, saying goodbye to everyone else (Gregory and his Legos, Janine and her designer bag she knew nothing about, Ava and her many flings and Jacob and his slam poetry), you’d walked to the lounge, where you’d seen Barb and Mel walking towards only a few minutes earlier.

On the way there, you’d seen a bouquet of gerberas discarded on the hallway floor. You’d wondered if a poor kid had gotten broken up with on that day of all days, or if the bouquet held any card of its own. You’d picked it up, deciding to bring it to the compost pile later.

You hadn’t realized how it looked until it had been too late.

“Hey, Mel, I have something for…” You’d started, rounding the corner to enter the room.

“I love you too.” She’d said, looking into Gary’s eyes. In a split second, you’d registered there was something off about her voice, something lacking.

And now here you are, in this less than ideal situation.

All three look at you, standing in the doorway with a card and flowers, calling after another person’s girlfriend. Shit.

“What do you have for her?” Gary’s hand tightens on her waist just so.

So, yeah. Not fucking ideal.

“Hey, look at that. I uh…actually forgot the… ah… The book I was lending you.” You mumble. Spinning on your heels, you walk as fast as humanly possible without breaking into a sprint.

Stupid-ass, invented, asinine holiday.

******

You’re more than half-way through a bottle of Merlot when your doorbell rings.

“Fucking finally!” You shout, jumping from your couch, your belly clenching painfully. Opening up your front door, though, your shoulders drop. “You’re not Postmates.”

“No, I am not. You know what else I also am not? Enjoying this beautiful night with my husband.” Barbara floods you with words, walking past you into the living room.

“Why is that, exactly?” And maybe you’re starting to get drunk, because she seems furious with you, and you can’t remember the last time that ever happened.

“Because I cannot possibly enjoy what was supposed to be a romantic moment with Gerald when I get a desperate phone call from my best friend’s partner asking me if I know where she is.”

It’s too many words too fast, so you sit back down and blink hard, trying to focus.

“What are you talking about?”

“Gary called me. He doesn’t know where Melissa is.”

Melissa. Suddenly, the reason you’d started drinking comes back to you. Shit. Shit shit shit.

“Have you seen her?” Barbara seems to take pity on you, be it for your drunkenness or the way your face scrunches up at the name.

“Not since this afternoon, no. What happened?”

“Gary says she went after you, came back in a different mood. Then they got into an argument in the middle of dinner, because she didn’t seem to be enjoying it, which is strange considering she spent the day worrying he wouldn’t do anything special, as we both know.” She sits down on the futon in front of you. “He says she broke up with him right then and there, and left.”

What?

“What?”

“I don’t understand it either. What did you say to her in the hallway?”

“Nothing, I didn’t talk to her in the hallway, or at all.”

Barbara looks away, shaking her head with an incredulous smile on her lips.

“You two are… God forgive me, but infuriating.” She turns back, sighing. “Did she text you? I’ve called and called, but she hasn’t picked up. She’s not at her house, either.”

“I don’t know.” You pull your phone from the middle of the cushions. “It’s been on focus mode the whole night, I only got notifications for my food.”

“Can you try her? Maybe she’ll pick up if it’s you.”

“You’re starting to freak me out.”

“Yes, well, at least we’ll be on the same page.”

The line rings three times before going to voicemail. Then, there’s someone pressing your doorbell again. Your stomach aches.

Again, not Postmates.

“You’re an asshole!” It’s the first thing out of Melissa’s mouth. As the second person today pushes her way into your home, Barbara jumps up from her seat.

“You’re alive, you’re whole?” She turns Melissa over, taking advantage of the woman’s confusion at seeing her here. “Are you stupidly drunk?”

“Uh… No. Why…”

“Are you going to make any decisions that might land you in jail?”

“No.”

“Thank you, Jesus!” Barbara shouts, letting go of the redhead, lifting her hands in praise, and walking to the door. “Please, resolve your issues and let me have my steak in peace. I’ll call your boy-“ She looks Melissa over. “I’ll call Gary, let him know you’re okay. Goodbye. Also, you’re both on probation until further notice.”

She closes the door behind her with a bang, and the two of you are left alone, staring at each other.

Her make-up is smudged, as if she’d been crying, and that beautiful, beautiful red dress shines under the light. The vision worries you at the same time it sets the butterflies off.

Once more, with feeling: this is not ideal.

It feels like forever goes by, just like this, with neither of you moving or speaking or looking away.

Until she unclenches her fist, and you see your card, the one you’d lost on your rush to leave.

“You couldn’t have picked a better moment?” Melissa asks, placing the piece of paper on your entrance table. Her anger, so explosive moments ago, is low and dangerous now, simmering with the hurt in her eyes.

“Listen, I know how it looked-“

“Any other moment.” She keeps going, incapable of stopping now that she’s started. “Maybe one of the endless times when we sat on that fucking couch watching those boring movies you like. Or… Or maybe one of the nights when we spent hours pouring over project ideas or education strategies. Or really any other time before I made the decision to move on.”

Her heart is there, right in front of you, in the tears that drown the gorgeous green of her irises. Somehow, you feel like this is the cataclysm of thoughts and words and feelings you had both held back for years. 

“What?” You mumble for the second time tonight.

“I found every excuse in the book to avoid this, to avoid looking for someone else. And some of it was true, really. Joe did a number on me, which you know – which is why that just hurt worse.” She points to the card, bent in half and slightly crumbled. “But most of it was crap, and I knew it was crap, but I convinced myself it wasn’t because you weren’t ready, but you are amazing, and maybe it was better to wait just a little longer to see if you ever got your shit together, if you ever got over what that ex of yours did. But you never, ever did.”

“Melissa, the flowers…”

“Yeah, gerberas, my favorites, I know. That was a nice touch. You probably knew he wouldn’t remember that detail.”

“No, Mel, I didn’t buy them.” You step forward, past the table, close enough to reach out and touch her arm, if you were brave enough. You never are.

“What, are you gonna tell me you grew them too?” She snorts, humorlessly. “You know, the worst part is that you encouraged me. You told me to go after him, to let him woo me. Even this morning! You told me to wait for him, just to pull this crap.”

She raises her hand, wipes her eyes, and Christ, what the hell have you done?

She breathes in, and it would be wondrous if it weren’t terrifying, how she puts her heart away, takes the part reserved just for you to see and hides it from view.

“I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know, and this whole time you’ve been leading me on, never really letting me go, no, but still pushing me away.”

In love you with you. In love you with you.

I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know.

It reverberates inside your brain as if an echo in a museum. In love with you.

The person who lights up your days without a fail, the woman who’s made every single potential partner pale in comparison, a staple in your life so important that the mere thought of risking something that could make you lose her had forced you to bury all warm and fuzzy feelings. That woman. This woman. Melissa. Your Melissa. In love with you.

You feel your past is too broken to believe her, but still the thought of her being this hurt is unacceptable.

“Mel, I didn’t write the card to steal you away.”

You risk it now, because you feel her slipping through your fingers, and not seeing her heart when she looks into your eyes makes you feel the loneliest you ever have. You risk reaching over, placing one hand on each of her upper arms. The fabric there is so soft it surprises you.

She flinches, but allows it.

“Just to keep me from giving up, right?”

“You know me better than that.” You try, throat tight. You damn sure hope she does. “I wrote it because you seemed really hurt, and just in case Gary messed up, I wanted you to know you at least had me. You’ll always have me.”

She shakes her head, eyes welling up again.

“What a great pal you are.” Melissa whispers.

“I found the fucking flowers on the floor, I was gonna take them to the trash.” You lose your patience for a split second, because maybe you were tactless, but this is a bit too far, even for such a stubborn woman.

She raises a brow.

“I’m not trying to cover my ass.”

“’You’re the person I think about the most’” She quotes the card. “Did you mean that?”

“Of course.” You say without a thought.

“As a friend?” She challenges.

No. Yes. Maybe. It’s on the tip of your tongue.

If you risk this next step, will you lose her eventually? Like you have every other woman you have loved like this? Will you lose yet another person, yet another soul you feel you can rest beside?

You let your hands travel down slightly.

“Mostly.” She breaks eye contact, frowning. “I cherish our friendship so much, Melissa. But part of me wanted to say more. To say things that weren’t purely platonic. I didn’t mean to steer you around.” You sigh. This is… a lot. “I want to see you happy, Mel. More than anything in the world, you deserve that. And I just felt like allowing myself to feel all those things for you would jeopardize that. You’re an explosive, hot-headed, weird, outlaw Italian with a great mind and a huge, huge heart, and you’re definitely too good for me.”

She shakes her head again, but looking at those amazing, gorgeous, breathtaking green orbs, you find a glimpse of that other side of hers, even if the tears are still there, hiding underneath the surface.

“Today, I only wanted to make sure you would be okay. And I’m sorry about the misunderstanding. I truly didn’t want to ruin that moment for you.” Finally, you reach her hands, and she holds yours back. You fit. “And I have only ever encouraged you to go out there because I really believe you deserve to have the fullest life you can possibly have, and that’s probably with someone… less damaged. Someone good and kind. Someone like Gary.”

Melissa mumbles to herself in Italian.

Forse sarebbe più facile.

“But I don’t love Gary.” She says simply, in English, relaxing into your touch, sending your blood pressure through the roof.

I’ve been in love with you for longer than I know.

“I know.” You say.

You had seen it in her eyes when she’d returned his declaration earlier, the emptiness, the masking, the guilt for lying. She wanted to love him so badly.

She’d looked at you back then and, for a split second, before the confusion and embarrassment that had followed, she’d seemed relieved, as if saying there’s the one who sees me. And something more.

Now, the something more is clearer.

“I know you’re scared.” She whispers again. “And you always, always try to protect me from these things. Never when I get myself mixed up with family business or get into fights…”

“Well, I trust your right hook for that.” You can’t help yourself. She snorts very, very softly, and maybe there’s hope yet.

“But you always try to keep me safe from this, even from you.” Melissa lets go of one your hands, placing a palm against your cheek. Oh, so that’s what it means to have a heart attack. “But I have never, ever, been afraid of your baggage, you jackass.” The spark of defiance that flashes through her expression pulls a smile from you.

If someone had asked you yesterday if this happening was something you thought possible, you’d have laugh them out of the room.

“I just wish you’d given me that god-damn card before I’d wasted this dress on somebody else and had broken a man’s heart for nothing.”

“Poor Gary,” you whisper.

“Yeah… Poor Gary.”

So, perhaps it’s not ideal, with the tears and heartache and being on Barb’s bad side, but she leans up on her tip toes, squeezing your hand, palm migrating down to hold your neck, and despite not being ideal, it does feel oddly right.

“I don’t give a fuck if you hate Valentine’s Day and you think this is corny. You better kiss me before I lose my nerve, or I swear to…”

For the first time in your adult life, you forgo your mind, trying something with risks that may far outweigh the good. With a tug, you pull her in, leaning down, breath catching in your throat when your lips connect, and you find you don’t give two shits about the risks.

Heaven.

Of course, your doorbell rings not five seconds later. Fucking Postmates.

[aimforthedogstar]

A Stag Spectacle

@captofthesswolfstar this one is for you. Based on this post...

It was something none of them had anticipated. But now thinking back on it, they figured they should have. Their physical attributes in their human form carried over to their animal forms in the same way how some personality of their animal form bled into their human personas.

It all started on the night when they had finally completed their transformations. Stood in an abandoned room, far away from prying eyes, the three boys bar Remus had finally perfected their transformations. When James first achieved it, he had held onto the form only for a few minutes. Within those few minutes, when he did so, his vision had been blurry, but it was immediately pushed to the back of his mind, excitement and giddiness of their success taking the driver’s seat when Sirius had laughed and pounced on him shouting “We did it, Jamesie, we did it!” Over and over again.

And soon it was time for them to bask in their achievement and plan a big reveal for Remus.

“Okay, okay, okay,” James said detaching himself from Sirius and standing tall.

Looking at his companions in the eye, “Guys, we did it!” He said in wonder like he himself could not believe they had achieved such a feat. A big smile broke out over his face and soon the same smile indicative of pure happiness bloomed out over Peter’s and Sirius’ faces as well.

“So when and where do you think we should show Remus, the dorm?” Asked Peter who was now bouncing in the place he stood, an unknown glint shimmering in his eyes.

A cocky grin taking over James’ face, he boasted, “The dorm? I hope you’re joking Pete. Have you seen my size? I’m not gonna fit in our dorm!”

“Oh please, Potter. I’m just as huge as you are,” bragged Sirius who was now lounging back on the wall behind him.

“Have you seen my fucking antlers, you dick? I am simply majestic,” crowed James with a haughty look on his face.

Turning to Peter, Sirius complained, “we’re never gonna hear the end of this, will we?”

“Not likely,” Peter replied simply and continued, “so, James, our oh so majestic stag, you’re right, we need to find a place for you to fit that big head of yours, if not anything else.”

Sirius let out a snort while James just glared.

“How about the Shack? We can sneak out tonight, I’ll lure Moony while you two go set it up.”

“Set what up?” Asked Peter dumbly.

“The grand gesture, Pete,” said Sirius exasperated. “The grand gesture.” He emphasized once more.

“Cool,” agreed James while Peter nodded alongside him.

And with that they parted ways.

*************************

It wasn’t easy luring Remus out that night. The boy had a million and one questions and he was smart enough not to trust any of Sirius’ answers.

“Sirius, I don’t want to go. I want to sleep.” Whined Remus as he dragged his feet towards their dorm room, “Look at my bed, it’s such a nice sight. Better than you I might even say and I’m not gonna abandon it tonight.”

Sirius rolled his eyes and pleaded, “Moony, I promise it’ll be worth your while.”

Turning around, Remus countered with doubt etched in his tone, “I’ve known you for five years now, that spells nothing but trouble.”

“Moony,” Sirius just whined.

“All you remind me of right now is a dog that’s begging for a treat. Anyway, where are James and Peter? They disappeared after dinner. Go do your thing with them”

“You need to trust me and follow after to get the answer to that. Please, just trust me okay. Please.” beseeched Sirius with eyes that actually resembled a hungry puppy.

Letting out a breath, “Fine! But tell me where they are?”

“The Shack.”

“Why?”

“You’ll know soon,” said Sirius with a secretive smile, taking the invisibility cloak out of James’ trunk. “Now come.”

************************

Grumbling all the way, Sirius and Remus made their way out the castle under the safety of the cloak and soon found themselves in the largest room on the first floor within the Shack. James and Peter lounging around on the bed with a set of playing cards between them. A crate was placed in the corner and the place looked to bear signs of attempted cleaning.

“We’re here,” sang Sirius as he threw the cloak off to the side, “Moony, come.”

He dragged Remus to the now empty bed, as James and Peter with wide grins plastered across their faces, cards abandoned in a pile, made their way to stand in front of him.

“Sit,” Sirius commanded all but pushing Remus onto the bed.

Growing suspicious at the very weird and ‘unlike-them’ behavior of his friends, Remus questioned, “What is going on?”

“Moony we did it,” exclaimed Peter with awe and pride coating his voice.

“Um, considering this is you three, those words could mean anything from having completed an assignment to having committed a triple homicide, I’m gonna need more information,” commented Remus.

“You really need to put a lid on all that sarcasm, Moony,” advised Sirius before his attention refocused to the other boys.

Sharing a look amongst themselves, Peter nodded first.

And just like that once where the pudgy boy stood, a plump rat now stood with brownish blonde fur and a tail that kinda resembled a worm.

Witnessing the change, Remus sat there with his mouth open as the rat ran up his leg to perch on his lap, squeaking a happy tune as it did so.

“Pretty cool, huh,” Sirius noted drawing Remus’ attention away from the rat now perched in his palms. Once Remus’ attention was on the raven-haired boy, Sirius shifted only to be replaced by a black, fluffy-haired dog which more closely resembled a bear. Wagging his tail, the mammoth dog made it’s way to Remus and soon stood on two paws places on the bed next to him to lick a stripe up his cheeks.

That was when Remus realized he had tears running down his face. And he couldn’t quite help the laugh that broke through as he ran one hand over the muzzle of the dog currently slobbering over Remus’ shoulder and another supporting the rat.

Unable to believe his own eyes, he looked up at James, “You did it!” He whispered.

James silently nodded.

The rat got off his lap onto the bed and soon Peter was sat next to Remus. Sirius followed stride and sat on the other side.

“What about you, James?” Asked Remus.

Stepping forward in a rather important manner, James simpered, “Well, I wanted to show you my form once you got over your shock so you can bask in my glory completely.”

Remus snorted while the other two boys just huffed a breath. James was ever the showman that thrived on any and all attention.

“Go on then,” encouraged Remus.

Stepping to the middle of the room, James soon shifted and changed shape into his stag form.

The stag, wearing a rather snooty expression that Remus figures only James Potter could pull off as a deer, began to prance around the room, swishing his head a bit to draw attention to his antlers.

What a conceited git, thought Remus fondly.

But what the stag pompously strutting around didn’t notice was the loose floorboard they all knew better to avoid. And soon there was a loud crunch, like wood splitting into two, and the stag fell forward on its jaw as one hoof was now stuck in the hole on the floor.

Remus winced at the sound but Sirius and Peter were on the floor laughing.

“Oh, we are basking in your glory alright!” Cackled Sirius which set off another round of giggles from Peter.

Realising James was stuck, Remus got up to help the poor stag out. So much for showing off his grace.

“You okay there?” Remus asked as he got closer to which James bleated, bleated in response.

Now even Remus couldn’t stop his own laughter at the funny sound and soon all three boys were laughing aloud while James just huffed in frustration.

Shaking his head a little, James nudged Remus with his antler. Getting the message, Remus complained, “Ow, you prat, that hurt. I’ll get you out.”

Remus then slowly maneuvered the foreleg and hoof out of the hole onto the floor and James gingerly got up.

Attempting to move in reverse, James hit the end of the piano rather hard and Remus again winced in sympathy thinking of the bruise that was sure to form later. Soon panic set in and James kinda moved sideways to get away from the furniture and his antler, a rather sharp edge, broke through the loose cabinet door and apparently got stuck there if the frenzied movements of the stag were any indication.

Also having Sirius and Peter just sat on the bed laughing uncontrollably at the events before them didn’t help anyone in any way. Even Remus had to admit it looked like a parody of an old school Muggle comedy what now with the stag stuck on a door and no matter how hard James shook his head, he couldn’t detach himself from it.

One couldn’t exactly call James graceful but he wasn’t a klutz either. Given that he was an excellent chaser for their house team, Remus knew he had better reflexes than that. And that was when it hit him. James couldn’t see well.

“You have shit vision,” Remus realized, “you can’t see well, can you?” He blurted to the room at large.

“What?” asked Sirius unintelligently, his laughter dying down. And then a look like Christmas had come early blossomed across his face as he too came to the same conclusion as Remus had and began to guffaw aloud clutching at his sides, “you mean to say that James’ animagus is bat shit blind! Oh, this is just perfect.”

Meanwhile, the stag had managed to free itself and had transformed back to James.

“How is this possible? I’m wearing my glasses, why can’t I see well?” James pouted from his position of the floor.

To be honest Remus had no idea. And it seemed neither did Peter or Sirius.

“Maybe,” Peter ventured, “your eyesight is even worse off as a deer and your glasses just don’t work.”

Sulking on the floor, James wailed, “that’s not fair!”

“I don’t think so,” continued Sirius, “maybe it’s more like it blends into the form but is just ineffective. It’s not like your glasses fuse with your eyes to better your eyesight.”

“Yeah,” added Remus, “like your clothes and your wand, your form won’t change based on what you are wearing, it just blends together.”

Seeing the utter despair on James’ face, Sirius took mercy on him letting his mirth die down. “So what do we do? A blind stag is pretty much useless,” commented Sirius.

“Hey!” cried James taking offense, “I’m not useless.”

“I guess we give the stag a pair of glasses.” ventured Remus with some hesitation in his tone.

“Oh that’s just awesome,” mocked Peter from his place.

“Hush Pete. Let’s try shall we?” proclaimed Remus as he plucked James glasses off his face. He took out his wand and replicated it creating a copy of the pair, while Sirius tore off a piece of the threadbare bed sheet and transfigured it into a piece of black ribbon.

He then took the copy from Remus and tied the ribbon onto the hinges of the glasses.

“Okay, let’s see if this works.” Sirius announced moving to stand before James, “Come on, Jamesie, let’s have a look at our patient.

James, still pouting obliged and transformed. But unlike before he stood still.

Sirius approached him and held the glasses to the stag’s face. Realizing the deer’s eyes weren’t aligned the same way as a human’s, Sirius just had to laugh at their situation. The stag huffed in frustration again, while Remus and Peter respectfully covered their own mirth behind their palms.

They were trying to fit glasses onto a deer.

Sirius then took out his wand, muttered a spell to elongate the bridge of the frame and bend it a little. Satisfied with his work, he placed his wand back into his pocket and placed the spectacles onto the deer’s face and fastened it with the ribbon at the back of its ears, beneath the antlers.

Stepping back Sirius asked, “Well?”

The stag turned its head around the room slowly, looking at its surroundings, then it grunted and shook its head in a way that implied the answer to be positive.

“Brilliant,” clapped Sirius enthusiastically.

James then transformed back and his stag glasses fell off his face. Bending down to pick it up, James’ cheeks pinked a bit as he professed, “Thank you.”

Remus stepped forward to envelop an arm around both the boys' shoulders and it was then it hit him completely like a battering ram that he would no longer be transforming alone.

It seems Sirius’ thoughts followed a similar line because he grasped Remus’ palm dangling off his shoulder as he announced, “Well Moony, it looks like you won’t be transforming alone anymore. You have a pack made off a regal canine, a rat with a worm for a tail and a blind stag whose antlers we should all steer clear from. What do you say?” He asked softly.

Smiling a gentle smile, Remus suggested, “Time to rip out a new brand of adventure here at Hogwarts.”

“We need nicknames for our alter egos,” observed Peter deep in thought and the other boys agreed quite eagerly.

And for the first time since Remus remembered, he was actually looking forward to the next full moon.

(FUN FACTS: I learned some facts while reading up on stags and deers while writing this fic and I want to share it with you wonderful lot:

1. When stags wish to get the attention of their mates, they tend to pick fights which they fight with their antlers. Basically, they try and bring attention to their antlers. Why is this interesting you ask, well, it kinda gives reason to James screwing with his hair constantly around Lily for one.

2. In some aspects like color range and depth perception, deers have shit vision as their eyeballs are farther apart. But this also gives them various advantages like having a 310′ vision unlike ours which is 180′.

This is the most heartbreaking one of all, so buckle up and grab the tissues, 

3. James is the stag, Lily is very clearly the doe which makes Harry the fawn. In nature, fawns only spend up to a year in the care of its parents and then it lives on its own. How long did Harry get to spend time with his parents again?

[budapestalloveragain]

surpriseeeee i haven’t done 2 more tags!! dia @heartsalmighty tagged me in a 21 (? i mean it’s called 20 questions but there are 21 lol) question tag and marlon @lovelybenny tagged me in a 39 question tag so i guess this is like ...a 59 (60??) question tag kinda... thank you so much dia and marlon for tagging me !! sorry i took so long xD

name: april

nickname: what can you even do with my name lol 

zodiac: libra babyyyy

height: 5′2″ rip i’m so short xD

orientation: 100% no clue, i was thinking maybe bi or pan but now i’m like just...confused 

nationality: american, but i was born in china 

favorite fruit: bananas !!! i feel like no one likes bananas but i love them haha (strawberries and peaches are a close second though)

favorite season: fall probably, but i kinda like spring into summer (i like summer bc no school lol)

favorite book: nineteen minutes by jodi picoult

favorite flower: i don’t really have one? daisies are cute though ^-^

favorite scent: like... the scent of food tbh

favorite color: rEDDDD

favorite animal: pandas 

coffee, tea, or hot chocolate: neither really, i don’t like hot drinks

average hours of sleep: not enough lol

favorite fictional characters: so many... claire temple is my #1 forever and ever though <3

number of blankets you sleep with: 1

dream trip: south korea :P what a surprise (more places in asia in general though, like indonesia, philippines, singapore...)

blog created: december 2014, it’s been 2 years already wow!

number of followers: 591 (why ?? couldn’t tell you)

are you named after someone? april from the comic “for better or for worse” bc in case you didn’t know i was born in october soooo

when was the last time you cried? when i went to see lion bc oh my god idk if it’s just bc it’s like personally kinda relatable to me or something else but i couldn’t stop it was so bad

do you like your handwriting? some days haha

what is your favourite lunch meat? chipotle chicken ^-^

do you have kids? nopeeee i want some later though!

if you were another person, would you be friends with you? probably not lol i think i’m really annoying xD depends on who i was though

do you use sarcasm? what do you think :P

do you still have your tonsils? yep!

would you bungee jump? no omg i’d probably throw up or pass out mid air oh my lord

what is your favourite kind of cereal? cherrios !!! i also like crispix and grape nuts though

do you untie your shoes when you take them off? nope lol i just slip them off

do you think you’re a strong person? physically no, i can literally lift nothing, but like emotionally ...potentially ? i’m doing alright in life so far

what is your favourite ice cream? BANANAAAA but only from my local ice cream store haha also coffee as a more general thing (but the one from my local ice cream store is the best imo)

what is the first thing you notice about people? hair probably

what is the least favourite physical thing you like about yourself? so many things to choose from lol

what colour pants and shoes are you wearing now? navy gym shorts w/ lavender accents & light grey socks w/ pink accents

what are you listening to right now? my kpop playlist, what else xD (specifically rhythm ta by iKON, what a fucking song)

if you were a crayon, what colour would you be? oh gosh idk maybe like some wacky lime green color haha

favourite smell? oh whoops i already answered this one ummm yeah still food lol

who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? my mom

favourite sport to watch? wait actually i really like watching sports xD especially in the olympics !! my favs are soccer (like at all times tbh, i used to play soccer so i actually understand it lol and fun fact i’ve decided my fav team is fc barcelona but i can’t tell you anything about them), swimming, synchronized diving (and normal diving but specifically synchro), gymnastics (rhythmic & artistic + acro omg yes acro is so cool)

hair colour? super super dark brown

eye colour? dark brown too lol

do you wear contacts? nopeee i’m too scared to touch my eye haha (i have glasses though, i can’t see for shit)

favourite food to eat? chicken in any form but also potato chips and ice cream (and bananas lol at all times)

scary movies or comedy? comedy bc i love to laugh & also i’m so easily scared xD

last movie you watched? ummm i tried rewatching the hannah montana movie but i couldn’t do it lol i never realized how unrealistic everything was ??? like she definitely should have been able to get into her own concert lol and people dEFINITELY would have figured out who she was ?? the security was so bad ?? anyways lol i think before that it was probably i am not your negro which was really good

what colour shirt are you wearing? a white shirt that’s like a lil pink bc i wore it for holi last week and most of the color came out but not all of it

summer or winter? summer bc no school lol

hugs or kisses? hugs <3 

what book are you currently reading? we just finished gatsby for english (what a wild ride omg) and i’m supposed to be starting small great things (by jodi) for my english final

who do you miss right now? my friends from 3rd grade, they’re from japan and they came here for like 9 months but then they had to move back :( i haven’t actually seen them in person since march of 2009 which is really crazy but i’ve emailed them this whole time and tbh idk why we don’t like text or anything lol there have been so many technological advancements i should get on that xD

what is on your mouse pad? i don’t use one with my laptop but i have one for my desktop with a happy kitty playing in a field ^-^

what is the last tv program you watched? that episode of the office where dwight sets the fire xD

what is the best sound? i like the sound of like typing keys but not the new or old apple keyboards, like the microsoft ones ? the sound effect they use in commercials when someone’s typing

rolling stones or the beatles? the beatles forever and ever, they’re like almost as big a part of my childhood as the sound of music was

what is the furthest you have ever traveled? china haha

do you have a special talent? not really lol i can move my pinky toe super far from the rest of my toes with both feet though xD

where were you born? xiangyin, hunan, china

that took me way too long lol but okay ummm i’m gonna tag ejay @thriftmom, hanna @copyplier & amy @foureyedvisual (no worries if you don’t wanna!) + anyone who wants to !!

[lillelullaby]

39 things about me...

@shir0gane tagged me! :)

Rules: Complete the survey & say who tagged you in the beginning. When you’re finished, tag people to do this survey. Have fun and enjoy!

1. Are you named after someone? My middle name is that of my grandma on my mother’s side. Never knew her, though.

2. When was the last time you cried? This morning ^^; Watched an episode of NCIS where a little boy got to see his mother for Christmas... It’s ridiculous, I know -.-;

3. Do you like your handwriting? Sometimes... usually I think it’s too messy.

4. What is your favorite lunch meat?  Eeerrrrrr... I really don’t know.

5. Do you have kids? No, but I do have a niece :)

6. If you were another person, would you be friends with you? If I were another person, I’d probably be different than I am now, so how would I know?

7. Do you use sarcasm? I do ^^; Sometimes I even catch myself using it around children, which is never good since they don’t get it when they’re still so young.

8. Do you still have your tonsils? Yes.

9. Would you bungee jump? I’d actually love to. I do have issues with trust, though, so I guess it’s unlikely to happen :)

10. What is your favorite kind of cereal? Goodness, I don’t know! Food questions are always tricky, since I like nearly everything I ever tried. Something with chocolate, probably.

11. Do you untie your shoes when you take them off? I do. I’m kind of ridiculously tidy with shoes most of the time.

12. Do you think you’re a strong person? No. Quite weak, actually, in every way.

13. What is your favorite ice cream? Again with the food questions... I don’t know. I like chocolate and raspberry, but I also like almost every other flavor I ever tried, except the really artificial tasting ones.

14. What is the first thing you notice about people? Depends on where and when I meet them, actually. Strangers on the bus? How they treat whomever the are with, voices and body language. People I’m introduced to? Hands and eyes and voices, I guess.

15. What is the least favorite physical thing you like about yourself? Ha, those are quite a few... at the moment probably my weight. And how weak I’ve gotten. I hate both.

16. What color pants and shoes are you wearing now? Haha ^^; dark grey tights and green plush slippers, with the tips bent upwards, kind of like fairies would wear them ^^;

17. What are you listening to right now? The water running in the other room and doors closing... no specific soundtrack right now.

18. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? A weak blue? Something pastel.

19. Favorite smell? My nose doesn’t really work, so It’d be more like favorite taste of air for me... hmm... snow, I guess. I love that.

20. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone? My best friend :)

21. Favorite sport to watch? I don’t really like watching sports. If I had to, I’d probably pick something like archery.

22. Hair color? Light brown, really boring, streaked with grey for a few years now.

23. Eye color? Some kind of light blue with grey.

24. Do you wear contacts? No, I’ve never even tried. Though I’d like to try colored contacts for a cosplay some time, that would be fun.

25. Favorite food to eat? The food question, again. I can tell you my least favorite foods instead? Those I actually know. (They’re ketchup, Nutella, Cola, Squid and everything alcoholic, if anyone was interested)

26. Scary movies or comedy? Neither really. Depends on the movie, I guess, but most comedies have far too many cringy embarrassing moments in them, and I usually fall so far into the characters scary movies can be hard to manage. It really depends, though. Does Sweeny Todd count as scary...?

27. Last movie you watched? Do all those horrible I-need-something-to-take-my-mind-off-things-tries count? I didn’t finish any of those for good reason. Other than that, Jurassic Park 1.

28. What color of shirt are you wearing? Black longsleeve :)

29. Summer or winter? My favorite season is Fall, but none would work without the others, so. They’re all cool in their way :)

30. Hugs or kisses? Never really been kissed since I was a kid, and I hated it then, but I’m weird with touches anyway. Hugs, so long as I have control over them. It all depends on the other person. From the right people, I LOVE hugs :)

31. What book are you currently reading? Peter Pan by J.M.Barrie. Again.

32. Who do you miss right now? Mostly my William. Rest in piece, buddy, I’ll never forget you. Best pet bunny ever.

33. What is on your mouse pad? The steelseries logo and a pattern of that logo. I like it ‘cause it always reminds me of Shiro :)

34. What is the last TV program you watched? "Dein Song”, though I mostly listened. Was working on something.

35. What is the best sound? That is actually difficult. I like a lot of sounds. Wind, in any form really, piano, violin, running footsteps on asphalt in a summer night, music boxes, waves, the muted sound of snow, my nieces laughter, my name in the voices of my two best friends. Tommy purring really loudly, Kiki’s tiny “mew”. A lot of things.

36. Rolling stones or The Beatles? Beatles at the moment, they wrote “Here comes the sun” and “I want to hold your hand”(actually, now I’m listening to that, so the soundtrack for today is “I want to hold your hand”)

37. What is the furthest you have ever traveled? I don’t actually know, Mallorca? Something boring like that.

38. Do you have a special talent? Lots of things I love to do, though nothing I’m especially talented at. Uhm... I’m good with kids usually?

39. Where were you born? A small town near where my parents live :)

I’m not actually active at all on tumblr, so I don’t know whom to tag, other than @soma-and-the-wild

... I hope I actually did this right ^^;

[pronetopronoia]

Heartache. Not, Like, Heart Attack. Those Are Sometimes Survivable. #DRAMA

*Disclaimer: Any inference taken to suicide in this post is sarcasm. Romeo & Juliet was a dark comedy. When everyone is the worst (which we all are at different points in time) life becomes a constant comedy surrounding you so you enjoy sticking around to experience it. It still hurts when a boy or man hurts your feelings though. Oh, and women? I try *JUSTSOHARD* not to be a woman-hating-woman but I just cannot not hate them (just to reiterate, not a big fan of women, you’re all bullies, especially when it comes to YOUR man, lol) for making my life just so difficult. Like goddamn it! Men make our lives difficult as it is (at least they are hilarious, obvious, adorable, and literally let us openly mock them, it’s the fucking best) and then you fucking bitches gotta come up in here and kick me when I’m down?! Hello you stupid skanks, I’m literally only here on this planet to make thier lives a little more difficult and then laugh about it. I know it’s dangerous but it’s really funny and fun and you ladies don’t need to be SO mean to me. I FULLY admit I *might* be down due to something I possibly shouldn’t have done, however I do apologize, please stop kicking. And I mean I just don’t even know what to freaking tell you at this point. This is why I prefer hanging around dudes because they are funny and at least they can admit when they are being stupid or make a mistake. Newsflash! Everyone is stupid and makes mistakes, even women! I am pretty sure, statistically, men make, like, 92% of the mistakes, but still, everyone makes them and that’s ok!

Anyway, Spock is not being sarcastic in the picture above, he’s actually really feeling sad.

I feel you Spock, I feel you.

Man. So I am a girl who is writing all these crazy blogs, if anyone is happening to be tuning in at any point and wasn’t aware. A girl. Because I haven’t yet figured out how to navigate life properly with NO GUIDANCE WHATSOEVER (to be clear guidance doesn’t come in the form of intimidating yells) without getting a few injuries along the way because I do operate a bit out of fear in that I love it (fear and life) because it keeps me on me toes but then also if it’s TOO much all I can do is figure out the quickest and most efficient way to get the fuck away from it ASAP. My method of escape is vaporize. Vaporize myself. Like Houdini-vanish. Stranger. Danger.

“Are you just one of those people who is hell bent on getting out of responsibilities that you don’t want to deal with? Like, if you’re not happy with it/it’s too uncomfortable/you actually get hurt you’re bailing?”

Um, kinda to question one and not necessarily to question two. Although actual injury, well that’s just fucking stupid, obviously not interested in that so step BACK. Here’s the deal. I’m also an adult, because I have an extremely low tolerance at this point for people who treat me poorly when it comes to choosing a romantic partner. Also, I’m shallow, sorry. I fully admit it. I’m no Jesus. That probably seems mean to a lot of people, and I’m definitely not hot enough to even be as shallow as I am, but I am, and I’m sorry. I’m just saying I prefer hot guys and personality factors into that equation but it can’t be, like, ALL of what is making you hot, dude. Everyone deserves true love and to be treated with respect, and if I encounter a terrible guy, my respect I give even to him is getting the fuck away from him however is the most efficient and/or best way for me, personally. I mean I’m having feelings for you and then you’re going to be a dickhead to me, uh, no. I mean you’re still cool but I’m not going to fuck you (literally. Or again if we did).

“Oh thank god, you’re like fucking a cold fish.”

Well I’ve absolutely had better so sorry I wasn’t that into it, my bad...

Also, I like being happy. Being miserable seems stupid to me. It is going to inevitably happen at times, but to get into a situation in which you’re miserable (FOR REAL) for an extended period of time and not just JOKING just doesn’t make sense to me.

I do comedy and it seems like most comedians have the thing where they hate thier life and spouse but then at least they have source material. Ugh, fucking miserable! Look how many stupid, mean, and garbagy people surround us. Why would you also want to bring that into your home and life as your partner too? Like the whole thing about hating your spouse? Ew. Just look around you at the stupid assholes who live that life for you, make fun of them. They are the ones living the same tired old jokes our parents all made, why can’t our generation do something different and make some new and different mistakes to laugh at. Or, actually live in peace, harmony, and happiness with each other and rip on the dummies who aren’t able to figure it out.

“Oh you are gonna get it...”

*Threat to self detected. Run!