#can I get all the piercings I want? technically yeah. practically chances are my parents would kill me if I did

[elegantartisanperson]

Happy birthday!! ^-^

omg thank you sooooooooo muuuchhh!!!!!! I've been an adult for like 4 days now and so far, it has been a bit scary

[wesimpforxiao]

Say My Name and I’ll Be There:  4.1

Author’s Note:  So I’m thinking of updating every other day or every two days? I tend to write compulsively and neglect my schoolwork lol.  Juggling this with work and school will be difficult if I post every day (I can’t help it though, I love updating every day!) So yeah.  Also if anyone has chapter filler ideas or prompts they want me to write out, message me or comment below! Back to the story!

..........................................

Xiao had just cleared a band of hilichurls when he came across the small stuffed bunny lying on the ground.  It was tattered and worn, but still held its original color.  He picked it up and dusted it off, glancing in the direction of the crying girl at the top of the hill. She had been crying over her stolen toy so Xiao took it upon himself to return it to her.  

He may or may not have destroyed a portion of the rice crop in doing so...but no matter! The girl was happy now.

"Thank you Mr. Adeptus!"  She gave him a toothy grin and hugged her bunny close.  "Thank you so much!"

"It was no trouble."  Xiao didn't return her smile and began to walk across the bridge that oversaw most of the rice crop.  What was it with mortal children and material possessions? Was it like him with his yaksha mask and spear?

"Mr. Adeptus sir, would you like something to eat?"

"Mortal food is not to my liking."  He continued to walk away despite hearing her disappointed 'oh.'  His eyes landed at the top of another hill, where the hall of Quince Village sat.  I should check on her Granny while I'm here.

"Welcome to my humble home!  How may I--" Granny's eyes widened significantly when she caught sight of Xiao.  "Oh my, it's been some time.  Is she alright? Has something happened?"

"Mm."  Xiao flicked his gaze around the building before he closed the distance.  "She's fine.  The Fatui will pose a significant problem.  They may come to you first."

"Oh," Granny rolled her eyes.  "Don't worry about me then, dear.  Just make sure she's safe.  I can handle the Fatui's interrogations just fine."

"There's no telling what tactics they may use or what they're after.  Make no mention of my interactions with you, nor how you found her.  It is for your own safety."

"Consider it done!  Now, would you like a cup of tea?"

...........................

"Wait, what?" You and the rest of the adventure team had returned to Quince Village on your request.  

Well...when you say 'the rest of the adventure team,' it was just you and Aether.  Diluc and Bennett had returned to Mondstat on your way here from Liyue Harbor.  After your little confrontation with Childe, he claimed there was unfinished business with the Fatui in the harbor and had to remain there.  You didn't believe it one bit.

"Yeah! Do you think he doesn't like me?" Lil Luo's shoulders drooped in sadness.  She held her tattered bunny tight against her chest.

"'An adeptus that doesn't smile," Aether met your eyes.  "That sounds like Xiao."

"W-well, when was he here?  When did this happen?"  You had to refrain from shaking her little shoulders for answers.

"U-um, maybe a week ago?  I saw him a couple more times after that, but he never smiled back at me..."

"Xiao," you whispered to yourself and scanned the fields for any sign of him.  "When was the last time you saw him?"

"Four days ago, I think."

"You want to look for him, don't you?"  Aether raised a smug brow.

"Can we?"  You pleaded.

"We're here on your request.  Might as well stay a bit, right?"

"Thank you so much!"

"You can just repay us with food," Paimon popped up and was practically drooling at her own imagination.  Aether nodded in agreement.

The three of you--correction, two of you-- climbed the hill to the village center while Paimon floated carefree alongside Aether.  The second you reached the top, you were greeted with a disturbing sight.

Fatui agents.

"W-what the hell?"  You instinctually grabbed the hilt of your sword, as did Aether.  "What are Fatui doing in Quince Village?"

"Paimon has no idea.  Let's get them!"

"Doesn't your Granny live here?" Aether sent you a worried look.

"Yes, she does."  You marched right up to the nearest agent and puffed out your chest.  "Excuse me, what's going on here? Why are you morons moving my Granny's stuff out of the house?"

"Who're you callin' morons?" The agent scoffed through his mask.  "Shouldn't you be in school or somethin'?  Scram.  Get out of here.  Damn kids."

"This is MY house," your blade pressed against his neck in a flash.  "Get off of my property."  Aether followed your lead and drew his weapon too.

"I'm afraid it isn't your home anymore," an all-too familiar deep voice flowed through the air. Zhongli shot the agent a look that caused him to leave the situation to the consultant.  "I sincerely apologize for not being in touch recently.  The funeral parlor has been quite backed-up lately thanks to Hu Tao's mismanagement."

"What are you doing here?" Paimon asked the question that was on all your minds.  "The funeral parlor is so far south of here."

"The Wangsheng Funeral Parlor serves all of Liyue," answered Zhongli.  His piercing eyes turned their attention to you and Aether.  "As you know, the parlor is partnered with the Fatui."

"And? That doesn't explain why you're here," you snarled.  Don't get anything mixed up; you were happy to see him.  But the Fatui at your house? Not as much.  

Zhongli released a short sigh and closed his eyes.  "We received a call from one of your neighbors.  It appears your grandmother died last night of a heart attack."

Something hard panged within your chest and it was suddenly difficult to breath.  "That's not...possible."

"Hey," Aether wrapped an arm around your shoulders as the world seemed to sway beneath your feet.  He slowly led you to the ground.

"That's horrible," Paimon muttered.  "Was it...painful?"

"Paimon!" Aether hushed.

"No.  It was rather quick.  She had not suffered long."  Zhongli knelt so that he was eye level with you.  "I had sent someone to meet up with you in Dihua Marsh, but it appears as though the messenger never met you.  My apologies for the oversight, dear friend."

"Then," you gulped, "why are the Fatui here?"

"Your grandmother had signed the house over to them a day or so before she passed."

"What? Why would she do that? She loves this house!"  Your tears dried before they had the chance to fall.  Your fists tightened as you struggled to determine who the enemy was.  Was it Zhongli?  He was technically Fatui if he worked with them.  Xiao could have been wrong about him.  "Who's in charge here?"

Zhongli almost appeared hesitant to answer.  Xiao managed to reach the grandmother in time, but it appears she still had to make some sort of arrangement to guarantee everyone's safety.  To think that Childe had somehow known to come here--

"Tch."  You stood up and brushed past Aether, heading directly toward the Fatui agent that had the audacity to tell a twenty year old to go back to school.  "Hey, dumbass!"  You gripped the collar of his coat and yanked him close.  "Tell me who's in charge here."

"Heh, want to fight your way out of a contract, eh?  Don't you worship the God of Contracts?  You're not gettin' your stupid house back."

"Tell me who sent you."

"A certain Harbinger," the agent taunted.

"Give me the name!"  You back-handed the masked agent hard enough to hurt him and split your knuckles wide open.  The blood splattered onto the wooden floor and soaked into his jacket.

"Hey, wait!"  Aether grabbed your shoulder.  Zhongli watched him do so.

"You're in luck, sweetheart.  You'd give quite the show badmouthing Childe."

"Wha--"  You stumbled backwards and knocked into Aether.  The two of you shared a look of shock, concern, and betrayal.  "This is all under Childe's jurisdiction?"

"Uh-huh," the agent lifted his mask slightly and wiped at his busted lip.  "He should be on his way back to Liyue Harbor by now, if you wanna try and take it up with him.  But I'm tellin' you he ain't gonna budge."

..........................

You stood alone in the rain.  Zhongli had arranged for a proper funeral and had refused to charge you for the provided services.  He had even managed to retrieve one of Granny's necklaces from the Fatui's grasp, and gave it to you.  He and Aether were alongside you, what...twenty minutes ago?  They decided to leave you alone in front of the new gravestone to grieve.  The funeral was simple, per your request to hold true to Granny's wishes.  The entire village had grieved with you.

"I'm sorry I came too late for a visit, Granny." The words came out robotic and emotionless.  The look on your face was blank.  You placed a small bouquet of glaze lilies on top of the stone; Zhongli had you sing to them before picking them.  "Things got busy, and Childe...well, I'm sure you met him, didn't you?"  You let out a dry bitter laugh that blended with the sound of raindrops.  "I love you.  Thank you for taking care of me even if I was a brat sometimes."

Could it be that you had been the cause of her death just like you had caused your parents'?  Just how much blood was on your hands?

You felt nothing yet everything at the same time.  Your eyes were dry.  After the initial shock, you hadn't shed a single tear.  Thus was your usual reaction to death; you were usually at peace with the idea of it.  If it was their time, it was their time.  But you were not convinced her death was caused by her heart.  

Childe.  Could he have resorted to such extremes to get the house? Or was it for something more?  Perhaps he was the true danger Xiao had warned you about.

Your chest ached, desperate to release the pent up storm of emotions whirling through you.  The wind picked up for a moment.  "Xiao?"  Your hoarse greeting was met with a grim-looking yaksha.  It was possible you were just imagining him in a time of need.  You hadn't seen him in a month now.

Xiao blinked and gave you a once-over as he stood beside you.  He had heard your sorrow like it was blaring in his ears.  His eyes fell to the gravestone, and his expression saddened further.  "She's dead." His question of disbelief sounded more like a tactless statement of fact.

"Yeah," you half-winced, half-scoffed at his remark.  "She's dead."  You knew all too well that he didn't mean any harm.  "Why're you standing in the rain?"

"I don't concern myself with the weather, but you should be inside.  Mortals are fragile."

"I don't particularly care at the moment." Your words cut through the rain like a blade of ice.  

She has lost all of her family now, Xiao realized.  He watched you with admiration at how strong you were acting even though it was clear you were trying not to break.

"I came back to visit and check in on her," you opened up after a few minutes of silence.  His glance towards you prompted you to continue.  "And then a little girl told me an adeptus had saved her toy bunny.  That was you, wasn't it?"

"Mm."

"Did you...see her?  My Granny?"

"I have spoken with her several times over the course of several years.  I did not think it would be the last time.  What happened?"

"Heart attack."  You swallowed.  "When I reached the house, the Fatui were clearing it out."  You caught the color draining from Xiao's face.  "What? Do you know something?"

"So my suspicions were correct," Xiao muttered distastefully.  He looked around the graveyard.  "You're sure they all left?"

"Yes.  Zhongli said that before she died she had signed a contract to hand the house over.  But she wouldn't do that so easily."

Satisfied with his scan of their surroundings, Xiao folded his arms across his chest.  "I told you I would inform you of our predicament when the time is right.  The time is now."

"After my Granny just died?"  Your undirected anger manifested at his words.  

"The Fatui are after the two of us."

"Why?"

"Our guess is they wish to create adepti soldiers or yakshas using the technique I used on you when you were a child."  Your eyes raised at 'our.'  Xiao's gaze flicked to you briefly.  "Zhongli."

"Wait, why would Zhongli be involved with this in the first place?"

"He is the former Lord of Geo, Rex Lapis--"

"Wait wait wait, he's what?!  But that's not possible, Rex Lapis is--"

"--Only a select few know his identity.  Do not go around telling."  You nodded, head spinning from all this new information.  "Childe was tasked with identifying and obtaining us.  If anyone gets their hands on an adeptus or your blood, it could spell the downfall of humankind."

"What exactly is my blood?  Why would they want me?"

"My blood runs through your veins."

"U-um...?"  You shifted uncomfortably at the thought.

"That is how I saved you," Xiao uncrossed his arms and faced you fully.  "It allows you to withstand more adeptal energy than the ordinary human, which is why I can be so close to you.  It also increases your body's healing capabilities.  It is the only reason you survived that day.  It is also the only reason you survived your lawachurl wound."

"...Why didn't you tell me this before?" You mumbled beneath your breath.  The rain hitting the earth nearly overtook the sound of your voice.  "We...We could have saved her."  Your anger leaked through your voice.  It wanted something to blame, something to lash out at.  You caught yourself before you could say or think something you didn't mean.  It was a heart attack.  Xiao is not to blame for this.  Childe is the enemy.

"Childe was listening in on our conversations.  I could not disclose this information to you so we would have the advantage to work in the dark against the him."  He stared down at the gravestone.  "I am...sorry.  I did not recognize the stress it would put her through. She was optimistic and happy when I last saw her."

You shook your head.  "I doubt it caused the heart attack.  I just want to know what they did to make her sell the house," your hands curled into fists.  "Childe will pay for this."

The two of you silently stood in the rain for some time before Xiao held his hand out to you.  "You will get sick if you stay out here longer.  Let us meet with the rest of the team."  You placed your injured hand in his, having forgot that it was aching the entire time.  Xiao's eyes narrowed at this, but he did not question you.  With your blood, it would heal by tomorrow morning.

[needtherapy]

The Necromancer’s Apprentice

Xue Yang has seen The Dark House and he’s heard the rumors that a zombie, a witch, and a necromancer live there. It’s stupid, obviously, but...well...maybe he’ll just sneak in one night and find out.

It’s better than doing nothing. It’s better than going back to the group home. It’s better than sleeping on the street.

Aka, three mildly feral twentysomethings are forcibly adopted by one (1) very feral thirteen-year-old Xue Yang.

Read on AO3

Many thanks to @coslyons for co-writing this with me (all the funniest parts belong to them) and @kevinkevinson for beta.

There is a Dark House in Ballard, and people say to avoid it.

It is probably not called the Dark House because evil lurks inside, although there is some debate about that. It is called the Dark House because it is black from threshold to cupola, from shutters to frames, and it looms on a block where whimsical shops of brick and steel are far more common. Unlike the thrift store and the record shop, the hiking outfitter and the vegan patissiere, no ivy reaches toward the roof of the Dark House. Unlike the local yarn store, no dogs sniff the Dark House’s gate, although at least two cats—also black, naturally—are always sitting on the porch.

It may not be fair to judge a house by its color, but the local legends are clear. If you step on the cracks in the sidewalk, the Dark House will steal your soul. The wrought iron gate of twining snakes comes alive under the light of the full moon to snap at unwary joggers. Children who walk alone after dark get eaten, and the yard is full of bones that wail songs of their murders.

Xue Yang sits on a bench, across the street, eating ice cream and admiring the house. He wonders about the sanity of people who mow the lawn and trim the roses, yet painted their pretty little house black, until it occurs to him that he could just go inside and find out.

He waits until dark, not to stay hidden, but because it’s a more terrible idea, and Xue Yang always gives himself permission to do more terrible things whenever he gets the chance. The high iron fence buzzes with a strange kind of energy that crackles in his palms, so Xue Yang wraps his hands tightly in his flannel shirt as he climbs over. His mother always said he was a practical boy, back when she was still around to say things.

Xue Yang lands in the backyard with a quiet thump onto thin and scraggly grass. The center of the yard is dark under the watery moonlight, with the dirt churned up and loose, and for the first time, a tiny twinge of warning pings in the back of his mind.

He ignores it.

With a flick of his wrist, he summons his knife, a long black switchblade that is seven kinds of illegal and which he loves more than anything else he has ever had, not that there is much competition. With nimble and practiced hands, he slides the knife between the door and the frame, twisting just right when he reaches the lock. With a grin of triumph, he turns the handle, shaped like a gaping mouth, and opens the door.

In the center of the room, there is a long sort of table that seems somehow to pull all the darkness of the room toward it. The shadows gather most thickly around a large, human-shaped lump laid out stiffly on top of it. Xue Yang reaches out to poke it and feels something unexpectedly warm give slightly under his finger.

The shadowy lump on the table sits upright with a sudden jerk.

The shadowy lump on the table sits upright with a sudden jerk.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Xue Yang shrieks.

“AHHHHHHHHHHHH!” the shadowy lump shrieks back.

“Why the fuck is everyone yelling?” a voice says, and the room is suddenly filled with light.

The shadowy lump rips off the sheet and turns into a guy in his early twenties with a scraggly little beard and wicked bedhead. The voice belongs to a grumpy-looking woman wearing a fluffy pink bathrobe. She squints at him in the oppressive brightness, glaring for a long moment before apparently deciding to deal with the man on the table first.  

“Wei Wuxian, I’ve told you a thousand times that the workshop is not a place for sleeping.”

“Technically—” the man begins, before being abruptly cut off by the woman.

“If the next words out of your mouth aren’t ‘yes, Wen Qing,’ then I don’t care. Go to bed.” She rounds on Xue Yang and he takes a tiny, involuntary step back. “You. What are you doing here?”

Before Xue Yang can answer, another guy—this one with long hair, killer tats, and a dedication to the goth look Xue Yang has to admire—runs in with a baseball bat held in his hands like a club.

“Jiejie! Is there something wrong?”

The woman—Wen Qing, she’d said—pinches the bridge of her nose and says, “It’s fine, A-Ning. I’m just trying to figure out what this little hooliganthinks he’s doing breaking into my house and tripping all of my wards while I’m trying to fucking sleep .”

Xue Yang is now convinced that what he’s broken into is some kind of madhouse, and he pastes a charming smile on his face, the one he uses when fists are clenched and the smell of alcohol burns in his nose. The smile whispers words like “anger issues” and “prone to destruction,” and it’s usually weapon enough, but he holds his knife a little tighter too, just in case.

The woman snaps around like she’s felt his fingers grip the handle of the blade and holds out her hand. “Give it to me.”

No. He will not. His chin tips dangerously, his smile grows icy spikes.

Her eyes narrow. “I could just take it.”

They face off for a minute, the tension almost palpable. Actually, Xue Yang thinks, it’s not tension after all. There’s something else in the air. It reminds him of the buzzing fence, and he doesn’t like the way it confuses him.

“Ah, Wen-jie, let him keep her. Can’t you tell? The kid is scared, they’re both scared, and it’s not like he can hurt us.”

Xue Yang is offended. He is not scared, but he’s relieved that Wei Wuxian spoke up all the same, because even though Wen Qing purses her lips and looks annoyed, she drops her hand.

“Fine.” She crosses her arms again. “Wei Wuxian, make sure our little guest leaves. I’m resetting the wards in five minutes and going back to sleep.”

“Yeah, sure.” Wei Wuxian grins and shoots finger guns at Wen Qing. “Sleep well and dream of me.”

Wen Qing rolls her eyes. “Yes, because I love having nightmares.”

“Oh shoo.” Wei Wuxian flicks his hand at the goth man and Wen Qing. “To bed with you both. I can handle it.”

Their footsteps creak on the wooden floors as they walk further into the house. Xue Yang and Wei Wuxian wait in silence until the footsteps quiet, and then Wei Wuxian turns to Xue Yang. The grin he’d been wearing drops off his face and he looks serious, his eyes shaded and dark.

“Look kid, you should know better than to piss off powerful witches. It tends to be bad for the health.” The side of his mouth just barely tilts upwards, more wry than mirthful, and he looks old now. Old and grey and tired. “So, we’ll just call this a learning experience, and you’ll never come here again, right?”

Xue Yang snorts. “Are you kidding? If you’ve got real magic why the fuck would I leave now?”

“Toddlers shouldn’t swear.”

“I’m almost fourteen, fuck you very much.”

“Ah yes, I am now so convinced you are an adult.” Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “It’s two in the morning. You want to go home and go to bed. There’s nothing here for you to be curious about at all.”

Something sibilant and musical weaves its way through the words, and Xue Yang has his hand on the door knob before he fights off the slithering compulsion.

Holy fuck that was cool.

“Nah, I think I’ll stay,” he says, sauntering back casually, pausing to look at a weird painting of a monster facing off with an axe-wielding guy in front of a lighthouse. He feels a very strong sense of camaraderie with it right now.

Wei Wuxian sighs. “Sure, maybe you’ve got a little gift. But you’re a kid. Don’t you have parents who are going to, you know, notice you’re missing?”

Xue Yang stares him in the eyes, willing himself not to flinch. Something tells him this is a chance he’s never going to have again, a chance that requires honesty.

“No.” Xue Yang lifts his chin stubbornly. “I don’t.”

Wei Wuxian stares back, and Xue Yang gets the feeling that he sees all the years and all the disappointments that fit into that no. He doesn’t care. No one gives you what you want unless you take it.

This standoff lasts forever, or maybe it’s only a few seconds.

“She’s going to kill me,” Wei Wuxian mutters, and a little louder, “You can sleep on the couch tonight, but I’m locking you in the room and if you touch anything, I will turn you into a mannequin.”

He turns to leave, but looks back with a frown. “Wen Qing builds beautiful, elegant wards that you’ll never feel, never even notice if she doesn’t want you to. Mine will hurt. Don’t. Touch. Anything.”

Xue Yang decides, in the principle of magnanimity, to agree. “Whatever.”

Wei Wuxian shakes his head and points a finger at Xue Yang. “Go to sleep, kiddo.”

The words hold Xue Yang’s hand and lead him to the couch, make him lay down, and within minutes, he is asleep.

He opens his eyes to piercing sunlight and a pale face inches from his.

“What the fuck!” he yelps, instinctively grabbing for his knife and snapping it open.

“Mr. Wei, he’s awake and noisy,” the face says, and Xue Yang focuses on its features.

It’s the goth guy. His arms have full-sleeve tattoos, matching patterns of stark black geometric lines and circles, but his neck has weird black veins tattooed on it. His eyes, which are still way too close to Xue Yang’s, are so dark they’re practically black.

“Where’s the witch?” Xue Yang asks, sufficiently recovered to be an asshole.

“Boiling children,” Wei Wuxian retorts. He’s leaning over the table and taking notes in a tattered book, poking something with a tiny screwdriver. “It’s the only reason we let you stay.”

“Really?” Xue Yang can’t decide if that’s cool or terrifying.

“He’s always like that in the morning,” Goth Guy says conspiratorially. “By ten, he’s pretty nice again.”

“I’m never nice,” Wei Wuxian grumbles. “A-Ning, can you take our miscreant home, please? The last thing I need is cops knocking on The House door asking if we’re kidnapping children. Again.” “Okay, Mr. Wei.”

Xue Yang panics. He can’t go back there. Not since they found him alone with the fire. He knows what they’ll do, and he can’t go back. He won’t . He ducks under Goth Guy’s arm and has his knife angled under Wei Wuxian’s chin before he’s even processed the motor function commands “get up” and “don’t let him send you away.”

“No! You have to…” He scrambles though thoughts, desperate ideas, each one crazier than the last before he hits on words that work themselves loose from his mouth. “You said I had a gift, you have to teach me to use it.”

Wei Wuxian frowns, but instead of being afraid or angry, he tips his head and whistles, two notes that almost sound like a name. To his great shock and horror, Xue Yang’s knife vibrates in his hand, and his fingers snap open like a broken trap, dropping the knife onto Wei Wuxian’s waiting palm. He carefully folds the blade back into the handle.

“Jiangzai,” he says, almost affectionately.

It doesn’t mean anything, but then it does , and it hits Xue Yang so hard he collapses to the ground. The knife has a name, and he knows it’s right as soon as Wei Wuxian says it. Xue Yang’s heart pounds, and he hates it. He hates this motherfucker who just took his knife away and he hates the Goth Guy who is helping him back to his feet. He doesn’t want to stay anymore, and he shakes off Goth Guy, wishing he could throw his kindness on the floor and stomp on it.

Wei Wuxian rolls his eyes. “Okay, maybe you have a little bit more than a little bit of a gift. But you still can’t stay, and I’m not teaching you anything.”

Xue Yang snatches his knife— his Jiangzai—out of Wei Wuxian’s hand and stomps to the door. “Fine. Fuck you.”

He gets as far as yanking the door open and slamming it against the wall before he realizes that there is a person in the way, and she doesn’t look inclined to move.

“Here you go, kiddo,” she says, handing him a bag. “I bought you some clean clothes and a toothbrush. A-Ning will show you where the bathroom is. Come back down for breakfast when you’ve changed.”

This is somehow more terrifying than when she was yelling at him. Yelling he understands. Now she’s just being...creepy. He stares at her belligerently, and she sighs.

“Listen, you little shit,” she says, bending over to look him dead in the eye. She doesn’t have to bend very far, he realizes. She’s actually tiny, even though she seems as big as the Fremont troll. “You will either go willingly with A-Ning, who is very nice, or you can test my patience and get buried in the yard with all the rest of the naughty children who break into my house. Your choice.”

Yeah, that’s more solid ground.

“Fine.” He grabs the bag from her and waves at the Goth Guy. “Lead the way, A-Ning .” He means it to be an insult, but Goth Guy just grins.

Xue Yang hears Wei Wuxian ask, “Wen Qing, what the fuck,” before Goth Guy herds him up the wide staircase, and he doesn’t hear any more of her answer than, “A-Xian, I can’t let him leave. You don’t understand, I did a location…”

This close to the Goth Guy, Xue Yang decides to acknowledge that the pale translucence of his skin is probably not makeup.

“I’m Wen Ning, by the way. I doubt Mr. Wei or jiejie introduced me,” Goth Guy—Wen Ning—says in a casual tone.

“So are you actually dead or what?” he asks Wen Ning, and Wen Ning grins.

“Or what,” he answers enigmatically, and gently shoves Xue Yang in a bathroom with pink tiles and a claw-foot tub.

Once he’s bathed and changed, Xue Yang heads back downstairs. Breakfast is bacon, eggs, and toast, and he doesn’t even pretend it isn’t the best food he’s eaten in a week. It is, in fact, the first food he hasn’t stolen in a week, and that alone is a novelty.

He’s halfway done with his food when Wei Wuxian, who hasn’t touched a bit of his and looks as sullen as an orange, says, “I have been informed that there is some arcane rule about teaching a gift you discover, and my...how did you put it, dear Wen Qing? My immortal soul and earthly being will be in danger if I don’t capitulate to the inevitable?”

He glares at Wen Qing, and she smiles sweetly at him.

“Whatever,” Xue Yang says around a mouthful of eggs. “Are you going to eat that?”

Wei Wuxian passes him the plate of food, and Xue Yang closes his eyes in bliss. Food is amazing.

“There are conditions—don’t look at me like that, Wen-jie. I agreed, okay? I get to set conditions. First of all, you do whatever I tell you. If I tell you to sell turnips on the street corner, you better sell some goddamn turnips. Second, you don’t touch anything unless I say it’s okay. A lot of this stuff,” he waves his hand around the white and yellow room, which looks surprisingly cheerful for a kitchen in a black house, “is priceless and dangerous, so…”

Wen Qing clears her throat and glares at Wei Wuxian.

“Uh...don’t touch anything.” Wei Wuxian finishes, snaking a piece of bacon from Xue Yang’s plate and shoving it into his mouth before disappearing back into his workroom.

Wen Qing rolls her eyes. “I promise he’ll actually teach you stuff once he pulls his head—” She visibly checks herself. “Once he stops being an idiot. More bacon?”

The rest is on AO3

[buckybeardreams]

Unwanted

Chapters: 10/11

Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)

Rating: Mature

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark

Characters: Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Sam Wilson (Marvel), Brock Rumlow, James "Bucky" Barnes, Clint Barton, Harley Keener

Additional Tags: Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/Omega, Alpha Steve Rogers, Omega Tony Stark, Service Top, Dominant Bottom, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Virgin Steve Rogers, Brock Rumlow is a Good Bro, Sam Wilson Is a Good Bro, Romantic Soulmates, First Meetings, Angst with a Happy Ending, Sappy, Romantic Fluff, Awkwardness, Drinking to Cope, Self-Worth Issues, Insecure Tony Stark, Insecure Steve Rogers, Age Difference, Harley Keener is Tony Stark's Biological Child, Bonding, Claiming Bites, Claiming, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg, Non-Explicit Sex, Light Dom/sub, Mutual Masturbation, Coming Untouched, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Wordcount: 10.000-30.000, Knotting

Series: Part 1 of Second Chances

Summary:

Steve is a soft Alpha and Tony is an in charge kind of Omega with no desire to find a mate. He doesn't want to find his soulmate and when he does meet Steve he's determined to stay away from him. 

That is until he realizes just how right they are for each other.

Ch 1 Ch 2 Ch 3 Ch 4 Ch 5 Ch 6 Ch 7 Ch 8 Ch 9 Ch 10 Ch 11

Can also be read here

Words: 1,583

Tony went to Brock's to tell him about winning the case against Obie and Pierce, and ended up making another less expected announcement. One that Brock followed up with good news of his own.

"Wait? You're pregnant?"

"Yeah, but don't tell anyone. We're not telling people yet," Brock told him.

"I'm sorry, what? If I hadn't just told you I was pregnant, would you not have told me?"

"Probably not."

"What the fuck, Brock? I'm your best friend!"

"Yeah, but you know I was an only child, Tony. Not from a lack of trying on my parents' part either. They went through three miscarriages before they finally used in vitro to have me. If this baby doesn't make it, I don't want to deal with a whole bunch of people pitying me while I'm grieving."

Tony reached over and pulled him in for a hug.

"Okay, I get it now, but can I at least tell Steve?"

"Honestly, it's inevitable. I went to the hair salon yesterday and my hairdresser told me that Jessica, some girl that lives in her apartment that I don't even know, was having an affair with her current lover's ex-lover, not to mention she's married with three kids. I spilled my guts the moment Sam got home. Keeping things from mates is practically impossible."

Tony bit his lip.

"I haven't told Steve."

"Of course you didn't. You just found out, Tony. You literally haven't even left the room and your phone is sitting on the coffee table. How would you have told him?"

Tony shook his head.

"No, not that. I mean that I'm pregnant."

Brock blinked at him for a minute before narrowing his eyes.

"Why?" He asked suspiciously.

Tony fidgeted nervously.

"I don't know how he's gonna take it," Tony admitted.

Brock rolled his eyes.

"Good God, you're pathetic," Brock groaned in exasperation. "Seriously? That boy lives to please you. He's gonna be thrilled that you're gonna need massages and foot rubs for the next nine months. Not to mention, now he's gonna have two people to order him around. He's gonna be so excited to spoil your little mini-me, Tony."

Tony glared at him halfheartedly.

"Yeah, I know, but I'm still anxious about it and I'm not entirely sure why. I know it's ridiculous and I know Steve's gonna be thrilled."

Brock eyed him for a moment.

"Yes, we've established that," Brock said, watching Tony carefully. "What about you? Are you excited about it?"

Tony bit his lip and looked over at Brock guiltily.

"I don't know. I know that I should be. I know that babies are like miracles and all that, but I never thought I'd have one. I never thought I'd have an Alpha and now I do, and now this. It's just a lot and I'm not sure if I'm ready. I'm not sure if I want a child."

Brock nodded.

"If you need someone to go with you to take care of it, Tony-"

"No, no, I'm gonna keep it. I already considered that, but I think I'll regret it if I do."

Brock frowned.

"There's nothing wrong-"

"No, I know, Brock. It's not that. It's just- I think I'm scared, because this wasn't part of the plan. Steve wasn't part of the plan and the plan has completely changed. It's a lot, but I was scared about Steve, too, and he's the best thing that's ever happened to me. Maybe this baby will be like that too."

Brock nodded.

"Okay, if it's really what you want then I'll support it and be happy for you. I'll support you no matter what choice you make, you know that right?"

"I do and I love you for that."

Brock rolled his eyes, but he smiled softly and pulled Tony in for a hug.

"Now let's talk nurseries," Brock said when he pulled back.

Tony grinned at him.

*****

"We're buying the bar," Tony said to the group. 

He had invited everyone over to Steve's place, since his place was bigger and neater and just overall better for hosting people. He chose to do this on a Sunday night, the only night that the bar wasn't open, so everyone could be there. Everyone was so excited about having won the case, but also scared about what that would mean for them. They had all figured when they first decided to take their boss to court that they would be left jobless regardless of the outcome. 

Clint raised his hand like he was still in elementary school and Tony rolled his eyes.

"Yes, Clint? Do you have something to say to the class?" Tony said sarcastically.

"Um... you're doing what?"

Tony sighed.

"We-" He said, gesturing between him and Steve, "Are buying the bar. This way we can all keep our jobs, have decent fucking pay checks, get the benefits we deserve, and just overall have a positive work environment. Sound good?"

There were murmurs and nods of agreement. Bucky stood up and grabbed the bottle of wine on the counter.

"Okay, well, I think we should all drink to that and to our new bosses."

"Yeah, um, we should clarify, that while I'm technically gonna be on the lease, it's really only because it looks good to have an Alpha on it," Steve said. "I'm an artist. Um, leadership? Yeah, that's not really my thing. Tony, though, he's gonna make a damn fine boss. So yeah, he's gonna run the place and work with you guys. I'm just gonna do the paperwork and manage schedules. That kind of behind the scenes stuff."

Tony giggled and kissed his cheek.

"Steve's gonna be a great co-owner and let me do whatever I want with the place, so I suggest you kiss up to me, if there's anything specific you want out of the renovations," Tony teased. "Steve will also be very busy raising our child and being a work-from-home dad while he paints and helps manage the bar.

Tony rested his hand on his flat belly and all the eyes in the room went wide and congratulations and cheers went off after a moment of shock. Steve was the most shocked though and it took him the longest to say something.

"Wait? Are you serious? Tony, if you're joking then tell me now before I get my hopes up."

"Nope, not joking," Tony told him with a grin, but a part of him was nervous that Steve would be unhappy about it.

"Oh my God. Oh my God! We're having a baby!" Steve practically shouted to the room in his excitement and scooped Tony up into his arms.

Tony laughed and wrapped his limbs around him, leaning down to kiss him.

"I can't believe it. This is amazing, baby! I'm gonna set up a nursery-"

"No, I'm setting up the nursery and Brock's gonna help me since he's also pregnant and we're gonna have matching nurseries."

"Right, right, then I'm gonna paint a mural on the walls."

"That's acceptable."

"Yeah and- Wait? Did you say Brock's pregnant?"

"Yeah, but you didn't hear it from me. They're not telling people yet," Tony told him with a wink.

Steve furrowed his brows.

"Who else would I have heard it from if they're not telling people?"

"I don't know. Sam?"

"But Sam would know that he didn't tell me," Steve pointed out.

Tony rolled his eyes.

"Not my problem."

Steve set Tony down when Bucky cleared his throat.

"Hate to ruin the moment, but I've got wine," Bucky said handing a glass to Steve before reaching for a glass on the counter, "and for you--"

"Oh, no, I can't--"

"It's grape juice, Tony," Bucky cut him off. "I wouldn't do anything to risk your baby."

Tony nodded his thanks and smiled at Bucky.

"Congratulations, by the way. On the mating and the pup."

The words seemed sincere enough, but Bucky's smile seemed off. Tony brushed it off though, letting everyone else come up and hug him and make him promise to invite them to the baby shower. It was a good day, everyone in high spirits, excited about the new baby and getting to keep their jobs. 

*****

That night at home Steve sat on the couch with Tony's feet in his lap, rubbing them.

"I'll do this for you everyday until the baby's born," Steve promised.

Tony smirked.

"Only until the baby's born," Tony teased, wiggling his toes.

Steve laughed.

"No, I'll do it every day until we die, because I love you more than anything in the world and I'd do anything for you, Tony, my beautiful Omega.”

Tony rolled his eyes, but smiled.

"Yeah, well, don't let the baby hear you say that. I'm pretty sure your world is going to expand the moment I pop this thing out."

"Yeah," Steve said dreamily. "I can't believe we're gonna be parents."

"Yeah, this kid's so fucked," Tony teased.

Steve grinned at him.

"We're gonna have the most spoiled, loved, and happiest baby ever. He's never gonna want for anything."

"He? What makes you think we're having a boy?"

"Or she," Steve amended. "I don't care either way. I just hope the baby's just like you."

"Well, jokes on you. This baby's gonna have blond hair and blue eyes."

Steve rolled his eyes.

"I didn't say the baby was gonna look like you, just be like you. You know, brilliant and stubborn."

Tony giggled and shook his head.

“Just focus on rubbing my feet, Alpha.”

“Yes, sir,” Steve teased.

[wherefancytakesme]

“Mistakes”

(BOYD gets to spend the afternoon with Gyro, then Mark Beaks shows up and brings on emotions that BOYD has never had to face before.)

The day so far had been one of harmless goings-on and quiet excitement. BOYD went to school with his adoptive brother Doofus Drake, for once not being as much the studious little database he always was in class—he was going to meet with Gyro Gearloose and Fenton Crackshell-Cabrera after school, and it filled him to the brim with joy.

Since the day he’d reunited with his creator, BOYD loved spending time with the scientist, always awaiting a time when he would call the Drakes over the phone and ask to pick their ‘younger’ son up and bring him to the underwater lab. Gyro always said he needed to perform regular checkups and maintenance on the little android, but BOYD was hoping secretly that it was also about spending time together; The doctor was becoming gentler now that everything in the past was behind them.

Regardless, BOYD’s feet were bouncing lightly under his desk with the anticipation of it all the way until the final school-bell rang—any excuse to see Gyro, someone he considered so close, gave his mechanical heart inexplicable delight.

Finally when class had let out for the day, BOYD took Doofus’ hand, smiling, and pulled him gently along.

“Come on, come on, big brother! Dr. Gearloose and Dr. Crackshell-Cabrera are waiting outside!”

Doofus grunted. His parents had strictly told him to be on his nicest behavior in front of Scrooge McDuck’s scientist, especially for his little brother’s sake—and to say nothing at all if he hadn’t anything nice to say—or else not expect any dessert for the next several weeks. He threw a fit, of course, but eventually resigned to not ruin anything for BOYD—or his chance at still being allowed to eat an ice cream float every night—and let BOYD have all the ice cream for himself.

Some part of Doofus’ subconscious didn’t mind the constant company of someone his own age. But all the unpleasantness that buried such feelings from his thoughts and actions that proved Louie Duck right kept the boy from understanding any of that, and so he simply allowed BOYD to pull him along—small as he was, the android could easily overtake his brother—and decided to be pouty but uncharacteristically quiet the rest of the day—though not altogether unhappy.

When the two boys reached the front gate, Gyro and Fenton were waiting at the entrance. The latter grinned and waved a friendly hand. The former smiled a bit more visibly than he’d have liked to when BOYD ran out to him.

“Dr. Gearloose!” BOYD called out, immediately throwing his arms around Gyro’s knees.

The gesture pushed Gyro to hide his previous smile by putting a fist to his mouth and clearing his throat. But his tone wasn’t harsh.

“It’s nice to see you, 2BO—er—BOYD.”

He had no idea how to greet Doofus Drake, however. He groaned with his mouth closed, awkwardly, and looked away, but Doofus had nothing to say either anyway.

“Are we going to the lab right away?” BOYD asked with bright eyes.

“Well I have an errand to run in town first, but it shouldn’t take long.”

Fenton chimed in;

“We could make a fun outing of it! Uh—nothing that would deviate from the plan, of course,” he said drawing back once Gyro side-eyed him, “Just something to do while Dr. Gearloose is busy.”

“Yeah, like find a local landmark to learn about!” BOYD did some drawing back of his own when he noticed his brother pout, but did so more graciously than nervously as compared to Gyro’s assistant. “Or maybe there will be a park nearby!” He smiled more when he noticed his brother’s frown fade a small amount.

“Whatever we do,” interjected Gyro, “Stay close to me. I do not want everyone running all over and taking up too much time.”

BOYD’s sunny smile remained as he put his hands behind his back, determined to be well-behaved.

“Yessir, Dr. Gearloose!”

About twenty minutes of walking had led the group of four to an obscure electronics store. Gyro needed a special kind of copper wire before going back to the lab and his odd specifications were hard to meet. While he spent his time inside, Fenton and the boys went to the adjacent shop to buy ice cream. Gyro had told them not to wander off, so once both kids had a cone of their own, they walked out to wait for the doctor.

It had taken several minutes longer than usual for the store owner to fetch what he needed, but by the time he had his purchase in hand, Gyro pondered over taking another minute or two to browse recreationally for spare parts. However, the thought was suddenly halted by the sound of a piercing shriek from outside.

“BUT I DON’T LIKE PISTACHIO!”

Gyro’s whole body jumped at the sound before he bolted out the door to see what the commotion was.

Oh.

Of course. Doofus Drake was throwing another tantrum, shaking his ice cream cone violently.

“Then why did you ask for it?” Fenton asked, confounded.

Gyro ground his teeth and rubbed his middle and index fingers against his temples. But the eyes he’d at first squinted shut opened back up when he heard the screaming stop at a kind voice.

“It’s okay, big brother. I’ll eat yours and we’ll trade!”

BOYD had a warm little grin on his face, holding out his hand.

“Fine!” snapped the spoiled drake, fuming as he thrust the treat into his brother’s hand. “You wanted to try a new flavor of ice cream anyway!”

This caught Gyro’s attention particularly. That little brat shouldn’t be forcing something on a robot who wasn’t built for consumption. He approached, and took on a less-than-pleasant tone that now commonly became him.

“Ice cream?” the chicken asked, twisting his face, “2B—er, BOYD, doesn’t eat.”

“I don’t need to,” answered BOYD, “I like to! My big brother told me about all the different kinds, and now every time I eat a new one, I add it to my memory. It’s fun!”

There were so many words in there that Gyro had to take a moment to think over. First and foremost, it was still mystifying why someone like BOYD and someone like Doofus Drake would consider eachother brothers—leaving aside that the former was much older than the latter. But he chuckled mentally a bit at the association between ‘memory’ and ‘fun’. The only other boy he knew who thought like that was Huey Duck, and it was nice that he and the android had found someone like the other. It felt nice too that such a thought could soften him back up again and make his migraine go away.

But Gyro wondered what eating must really be like for BOYD—he didn’t remember programming BOYD specifically to eat, but on a technical level, he supposed it was possible, given the way he’d built him.

“Can you taste it at all?” he said looking down at BOYD now, curious at the answer.

“Yeah! It was actually only recently I first had ice cream. I didn’t know I could taste anything until then, but it seemed to register, and I really liked it! So when I got home, I asked about it, and now I get to have it every day!”

Gyro didn’t realize how much he’d been missing out on the little boy’s life. Even the very first tests he’d run on him didn’t experiment with things like taste, or smell. Body temperature, vision, maybe—but those were comparable to how a computer would run. Gyro had made BOYD with sentient, behavioral programming, but he supposed he never put any of it into practice, in a real-world scenario. Part of that may have been Dr. Akita’s fault, but… Well, Gyro didn’t want to make excuses for what he did and didn’t do back then.

It was strange—and a little sad; BOYD went twenty whole years unaware of whether or not he lacked the sensation of taste, and Gyro wasn’t there when he finally tried. Gyro knew every single robotic modification BOYD had—from the USB drives in his fingertips, to the blasters throughout his body—he’d put every one of them to the test, but how often did he actually take the child outside the old laboratory? Did the small creature have any memory of Tokyolk before his core was overridden?

Quickly Gyro shook any dwelling thoughts from his mind. No matter. He was making up for it now.

At least he hoped so.

All of a sudden, Gyro felt someone bump against his side, sending him back into the conscious world with a jolt. He made a startled squeak, which embarrassed—and therefore slightly angered him.

“Can’t you watch where you’re—Oh.”

The scientist wrinkled his face with annoyance when he turned and saw a slightly younger man on a self-balancing scooter.

“It’s you.”

There was no mistaking it. Sleek cardigan, large overconfident eyebrows, phone in hand… It was Mark Beaks.

Mark Beaks blinked when addressed. He had no doubt everyone knew who he was, but the lanky chicken facing him seemed to be acting like he’d met him before.

“Oh heeeeey… Uh, do I know you? Probably, right? You see so many faces every day when you’re this famous, they kinda all just blend in, y’know?”

Gyro looked up at Beaks with half-lidded eyes.

“Dr. Gyro Gearloose? Scientist of Scrooge McDuck? You’ve stolen and modified my tech about four different times?”

Beaks looked up and narrowed his eyes, stumped.

Gyro sniffed. Mark Beaks had pointed him out in public several times; This was quite obviously being done to wind him up. “Perhaps he looks familiar to you?” he said, throwing a hand out to gesture at BOYD.

“Ohh yeah! You built that guy? No wonder he went all terminator on me!”

Again Gyro responded sarcastically, with more of a scoff this time.

“That is not my fault. Likely you reprogrammed his hard-drive and rewrote his memories so many times, one simple question overwhelmed him to the point that he couldn’t even tell a person from a flyswatter.”

“Ugh, whatever.” Beaks said, waving his hand, “If you make faulty robots and don’t wanna keep the improvements I put in there, that’s on you. Kid was pretty popular online though. I mean, come on!”

Mark Beaks pointed back and forth between himself and BOYD with both of his index fingers.

“He looks just like me!”

When Beaks acknowledged the android a few feet in front, suddenly two yellow eyes stared back. A little gasp emitted from the little black beak that was previously opened to eat ice cream. BOYD hadn’t seen his older doppelganger since the day he met Doofus Drake. His whole face suddenly beamed with cheeriness at a familiar face.

“Da—”

He bit off the word ‘Daddy’. That was a memory overwrite, he knew now. Still, he was happy.

“Mr. Beaks!”

BOYD instantly ran over to the addressee to jump up and hug him. Beaks just as instantly wheeled back with his scooter board, holding his palms up.

“Woah-ho-hooooh, don’t like touching, remember? What was the number one rule?”

Oh. Right. Remembering that made BOYD’s smile fade.

“No hugs?”

“Exactly, see? You’ve still got some of the good ol’ Beaks programming clunking around in there somewhere!”

Gyro rolled his eyes at a statement like that, but for BOYD it started to set a certain train of thought in motion; Mark Beaks had programmed him to be like his son. At the time, he had felt like it, not simply had it wired into his head, but… now that he thought about the standoffish way the young adult was acting, was that all he was to him? Like a son?

That couldn’t be true, could it?

“Um, Mr. Beaks?” BOYD said, voice starting to grow more shy, “I know things are different now—the two of us living separate lives and everything—but even so, would it be okay if I still spent time with you once in a while?”

Beaks sucked his teeth at BOYD.

“Ooh, no can do, sport. See, if we’re not family, there’s kinda no point anymore. Nobody looks at pics of me just hanging with some rando kid, y’know? Outside that, I’m like super busy all the time, sooo…”

“But… Didn’t you have fun with me?”

“Sure, I did all kinds of awesome stuff in a whole day! Took lots of great selfies!”

BOYD faced the ground at that response, trying to process it. All the words were simple, but slowly, they triggered the most complex of memories… ______________________________

The first memory he had after the incident in Tokyolk was the faint recognition of someone’s voice in the garbage dump he’d evidently wound up in. He didn’t know what was going on, and had no recollection of where he came from, how he worked, or hardly even who he was. All he could bring to mind was an assigned identification number—2BO—and a gut feeling that he was a definitely real boy.

But when the voice came closer, BOYD felt his OS booting up again—his processor bringing things back online. What life he may or may not have had before, he knew not. He only understood that there was reason to be up and running now—alive. These feelings hadn’t manifested into thoughts at first—and then he heard the moving figure above him make a noise. When BOYD parroted back the mimicry of lasers, it was purely instinctual—technological sounds, technological creature. But it made someone notice him. It made someone marvel at him. It made someone give him a real name. It made someone want to take him home. That someone was Mark Beaks.

Even if he had only programmed into him the title of ‘father’, the wealthy parrot was the first person he knew to give him somewhere to live. With or without his original memories, BOYD had never really had an actual home before. He’d never had anyone so willingly look after him like a normal kid—like their kid. In many ways, both literal and figurative, Mark Beaks was the first person to be a parent to BOYD. Even lacking the memory of Akita’s cruelty and Gyro’s hesitance, when BOYD was around Mark Beaks, he felt like someone’s son with no hint of abandonment for the first time in his life.

Yet some underlying doubt lie buried, deep down in one of the many corners of his mind that BOYD didn’t have access to—only this one wasn’t blocked by another person’s override. Anytime he called out ‘Daddy’, Beaks didn’t always turn around right away. He might look confusedly around the room, or take a second or two to respond. And even then, he didn’t seem to say things other than ‘Hey you’, or ‘Need something?’—they were happy, but one-sided. BOYD didn’t think about that then. He was just glad to have family, and to have anything a kid could ask for.

But that was another thing that suddenly made BOYD think. The two days he’d spent with his new father were the best of his whole life; He spent time at an office filled with apparatuses to play on, candy to eat, and places to nap everywhere—even if he didn’t need to nap. Then for the rest of the day, the two Greys went all over Duckburg having fun—eating, playing, exploring… And still, through everything, there didn’t seem to be a connection. When BOYD and Beaks spent time at a show, flew kites, or wore novelty hats, the latter was always taking pictures with the former in them, but seemingly never with him. BOYD was too distracted by the thrill of spending time with someone he considered family to notice before, but now that Beaks worded it the way he did, only mentioning the fun he himself had that day, the signs were becoming obvious. He never once touched him—never once looked at him when he took those selfies—BOYD might as well have been a part of the background.

Come to think of it, did Mark Beaks ever touch BOYD? His biggest aversion, which he’d made clear several times, was touching, after all; The hopes of the first hug BOYD thought he’d ever had at the time were straightaway brushed off. Maybe once or twice, when he needed to be kept from getting wet or from going haywire… But otherwise, the man hardly paid physical attention to him. He didn’t want to feed into the worry that was always secretly there, but the recollection of everything made it impossible now. It hurt BOYD so badly to consider that he was only there to serve a purpose—as he had been his whole life—after all. He couldn’t remember Beaks saying his name, he couldn’t remember Beaks saying something gentle to him… Sometimes if he didn’t act the part he was made to, Beaks would scold him. He tried to avoid calling to mind that once, Beaks struggled to even remember the familial title under which BOYD was programmed.

“Yeah, I love this… What was it again? Uhh, uh, son!”

Oh no.

Mark Beaks never even said the words, ‘I love you’.

But no. No, it couldn’t be true that he didn’t at least care about BOYD, it just couldn’t. It was painful all the same, though, no matter how trusting and unassuming a child BOYD was.

He had to know. He wanted just a little word of assurance that he was wrong, that it was all in his head, that it was just worry that came with twenty years of feeling unloved. Even if Mark Beaks saw him as means for attention first, surely there was some sort of fatherly instinct left over from caring for someone made to be for all concerned his family.

BOYD was feeling some sort of physical discomfort he couldn’t pinpoint when he made his next inquiry, as if he was swallowing something down.

“Mr. Beaks,” he questioned, blue irises still fixed on the ground and fingers toying with one another, “Do you…”

He swallowed physically this time.

“Do you love me…?”

Mark Beaks’ face froze, and before answering made a noise somewhere between the word ‘I’, and an ‘Uh’.

“Kid, what kind of question is that? I don’t do the whole affection thing, okay? Much less with someone who’s not even in my entourage anymore.”

Oh, that hurt. That hurt far too much. Normally with Dr. Akita’s overriding, emotional triggers like this would have BOYD glitching. But that wasn’t there anymore. He was open to feel whatever a boy would feel any time he wanted now, without malfunctions and without something to block his true childlike wiring—too open, perhaps, because now instead of his mind going blank over spiritual pain, his mind would take in every single thought that set him off, and fester. What Beaks said to him now was festering. It made him feel vulnerable. Even if it didn’t hurt or scare him as much as when Gyro told him he was going to shut him down for good, or when Gyro constantly put him down, there was nothing to keep BOYD from blacking out afterward anymore. The feelings over Mark Beaks’ statement were flooding all throughout him.

“But…” BOYD persisted still, wanting some sort of kindness—at least for a fresh start. “Couldn’t we at least be on friendly terms? Isn’t there anything you like about me?”

“Aw come on, little man, it’s not like I was letting you get close to begin with. You’ve got other rich people and tech geeks to be with now. So you don’t need me and I don’t need you.” The man crossed his arms.

If any justice could be done, it might be stated here that the biggest reason Mark Beaks was beginning to act more and more bitter with the small child was out of a sour-grapes mentality. Visible weakness wasn’t characteristic of the young trend-chaser, but in a situation like this, where something he genuinely found impressive and thought he’d made his own had been lost to him, and had been left in the hands of someone else he barely knew—knowing that a technological wonder like BOYD was something he could no longer have—Beaks was annoyed, and he would never dare let it show through. Instead he increased his shallowness ten-fold.

Poor little BOYD’s eyes went wide, wanting so terribly not to believe what he was being told, wanting so desperately not to be outright rejected by someone he’d let himself previously grow so attached to. He looked into Beaks’ black eyes, searching for some kind of reassurance in spite of only hearing cruelty. He wanted so much to hear something that would make the building pain he’d never understood before shrink down.

“But,” he said, voice more quiet and in disbelief than he could ever remember expressing, “You gave me a name. You took me home with you. I was like your family.”

Mark Beaks rolled his eyes back, looking only more annoyed that the little creature almost forced him into guilt with such words.

“No way, kid. I just scooped you out of the trash because I thought I could make something out of you. But four-eyes over there took out all the mods I made to begin with—the new voice I gave you isn’t even there anymore. Hate to say it, but without any of that, you don’t mean anything to me.”

He shrugged his shoulders, talking for a minute more so to himself than anyone, but nonetheless just as aloud as before.

“Guess all the time I put into you was a waste. ‘Least with everything else, I got some money or permanent attention out of it.” Beaks blew air out through his nostrils almost like a laugh when he thought about it. “Jeez, kid, you were my worst investment.”

BOYD didn’t know what the feeling was, but those awful words broke something within him. His face tensed up. The tightness in his chest started to swell. All that desperation to disprove his first proper parent didn’t actually care about him, all that pain welling up inside him the more said person shot down attempt after attempt for requited affection… And now he’d dealt him a blow like that? Mark Beaks had thoroughly destroyed his spirit—he might as well have slapped him in the face. And incidentally, his face started to burn. BOYD had no idea what this meant, but the reaction was involuntary. It hurt so much, he couldn’t understand. The heat concentrated in his eyes. His nose and mouth trembled as he faced his former caretaker. A warm, salty liquid began slowly to fill his eyes and then roll down his cheeks.

BOYD was crying. ______________________________

All the time Beaks had been talking, Gyro and Fenton had been narrowing their eyes in anger and darting them back and forth between the two parrots facing one another, the taller one saying nastier and nastier things to the smaller one. Neither Fenton nor Gyro knew quite what to say or do, or how to intervene—for Fenton in particular because he also had to keep an eye on Doofus Drake, who any second could stop being content licking the inside of his ice cream cone and go ballistic again. It irritated him that he had to keep his mind on such a small matter when clearly there were bigger fish to fry at the moment—and also a little bit that BOYD’s adoptive brother didn’t seem to be noticing how much he was hurting.

Gyro wanted to speak up at some point, but couldn’t bring any words into his head.

And then out of the blue, when Mark Beaks had finally pushed innocent BOYD to a breaking point, the tiny thing cried. He cried.

Gyro’s heart stopped dead in its figurative tracks.

His eyes went wide and dropped their gaze to the ground. This was something he had no idea was physically possible. An invention of his had been, through instinct alone, pushed to actually cry. He didn’t understand. He didn’t specifically write that sort of thing into BOYD’s coding when he made him—certainly Akita didn’t put that in—so then what? BOYD was a definitely real boy, but, to this extent? Gyro wanted to react, to do something for the boy, to get angry at Beaks, but everything failed him. He was stock still, frozen with a horrible blend of shock and concern.

Meanwhile, BOYD continued to stare up at Beaks as tears stained his face, disbelief and utter heartache consuming everything from the waist up.

The first reaction was when Doofus Drake turned and took notice of what he had been sure was a robot his parents adopted, somehow leaking sadness out of his eyes. The Drake boy physically reeled back, socially perturbed.

“Agh, he’s broken!” he yelled, unable to understand, “Do something and fix it!”

Fenton reacted second, clenching his hands into fists, intent on indeed doing something to ‘fix it’, but not the way Doofus imagined. He held back solely on the basis that Gyro was going to say something.

But Beaks was the immediate one to react next.

“Yikes, buddy,” he said to BOYD, backing up uncomfortably. He didn’t mean to make anyone cry, but then again, he didn’t think BOYD could feel anything that real. “It’s not my fault a lack of Beaks tech makes you basically worthless.”

Where Gyro normally would have gotten angry, this time Fenton stood in—he saw that the doctor was too dumbstruck to do so for now. But Fenton was certain both of them were equally as angry.

“What on earth are you thinking saying that to his face,” he snapped, “He’s a kid!”

Mark Beaks shrugged, as if his next reply was a matter of fact.

“Well I mean yeah, but like, not a real one…”

Each adult’s face in present company sneered at Beaks. That was the final straw. With that, Gyro Gearloose was finally able to pull himself out of his stunned state and draw up the emotion to straighten his back and snatch BOYD’s hand, dragging him away. Whatever he was thinking or wasn’t able to think at the moment didn’t matter. This child wasn’t going to be tortured by being here any longer.

“Cabrera, you take Doofus Drake home and get rid of this…” He struggled to find the words; “this, while I take BOYD back to the lab.”

Fenton nodded, determined, as Gyro stormed off, leaving Beaks to be thoroughly dealt with. ______________________________

The walk back to the underwater lab wasn’t a long one, but when Gyro wasn’t seething mad, he would look down at BOYD and notice a look on the boy’s face not dissimilar to his own from earlier—it contained surprise, the fearful kind, as if he didn’t know he could shed tears either. He didn’t look up at his creator, even though he followed the aggressive tug of his arm compliantly, and he didn’t try to wipe at his face. He seemed, again, to be having the same sort of shock that tried to question what in the world was happening to him.

When the two finally did make it inside, Gyro relinquished his tight grip on BOYD’s hand, picked him up by the waist, and sat him down on his center loft work desk.

“BOYD,” he said directly, but not ungently, “Keep your face still for a moment, okay?”

Gyro cupped the little creature’s face in his hand, taking a moment to peer into the huge ovate orbs that were wet as ever. There was nothing physically wrong with them… Nothing functionally wrong with them… Lightly touching the substance that had wavered within them didn’t seem to prove this was some sort of fluid leak. As far as Gyro could tell, these were tears, plain as plain.

So then how was that possible? It wasn’t as if the scientist had actually sat down and built a mechanical version of every single organic function an ordinary person had when constructing BOYD—he and Akita wanted a defense drone—but he knew the little one had an approximation of a heart, and bones, and lungs, and other such things; He was an android, which meant he was deliberately supposed to resemble other people in addition to all the access ports and ribbon wire. Still. Things like tear ducts, taste buds, the need to sleep? Gyro didn’t physically install those things into him. Now a possibility occurred to him. He decided to address BOYD again.

“Can you tell me… Can you tell me everything you’ve been feeling since you talked to Mark Beaks? I know it might be hard, but I need you to try for me.”

BOYD felt Gyro place both hands on one of his. It was the first time the doctor had engaged him like that, and it brought on a warm confusion in spite of the pain he still felt at his core. BOYD’s teary eyes were trained on the floor when he started to analyze what kind of things that pain entailed.

“I’ve… been feeling…” he began, voice thin and shaky, “Sad… and overwhelmed… and afraid… and alone, and… and confused… Before, when I had programming issues, I would start to malfunction anytime something hurt me. But now instead of glitches coming on that I can’t control, it’s more like…”

BOYD’s whole body started to shiver. “It’s more like something my heart can’t control, I guess? Not literally, but, I…”

His vision grew blurry and his voice shakier than ever. “I don’t have anything holding me back from losing emotional control, and I don’t understand. What Mr. Beaks said really hurt, but… I’ve been told things that made me lonely and sad before. I don’t know why I’m only reacting this way now.”

BOYD shut his eyes, rubbing at them as he made a little whimper. “I’m sorry, Dr. Gearloose. I know that doesn’t help. The only other thing I know when I think about all this is that it scares me.”

Gyro felt choked up. He wanted to react beyond keeping his hands palmed over the one BOYD wasn’t wiping his own face with, but twenty years of distrust and cynicism had clouded his ability to be as kind as he used to. But that answer actually helped Gyro a lot. Before, he remembered BOYD saying something about eating—he didn’t need to, but he liked to—that he wondered whether or not he was able to taste, but it ‘seemed to register’. Gyro then supposed while he didn’t build BOYD to eat, it wasn’t impossible given the way he was made; He likely found some sort of place in his structure to double as a stomach, being that he was basically the same as any other boy.

This was what made it click in Gyro’s brain. He had programmed BOYD, for all intents and purposes, to be a living child. Even if the actual hardware wasn’t there, even if Gyro hadn’t thought of specifics when creating… Akita called it ‘real boy programming’—there were things within BOYD that could adapt, and apparently had adapted, themselves to become a part of his sentient reactions and behavior—there were things inside him that manifested because at the end of the day, BOYD was… well, BOYD was a boy.

BOYD wasn’t crying because he was built for it. He was crying because all boys were built for it.

Oh god. A realization like that sent a heavy weight into Gyro’s chest. This wasn’t just some invention that was child-like he’d made, as he initially thought two decades ago. He had brought a life into the world.

He was responsible for every bad thing that life would ever face, because he was the one responsible for ever having made something that could feel, could want, could hurt. Why hadn’t he once considered that when wiring sentience into a body? Gyro felt sick to his stomach.

Yet here was BOYD sitting on a desk, afraid because he wasn’t ever told what would happen if he was sad enough—as if crying was normal, but not for him.

“Dr. Gearloose…?” The timid squeaks in BOYD’s broken voice coupled with glumness on every part of his face made Gyro feel pain in every inch of his body. “Is there something wrong with me?”

Shocked as he was still, an automatic reaction came on that brought Gyro to dry the small creature’s eyes. This reaction, too, shocked him.

“No—no,” he answered nonetheless, just as reactionary.

“Really?”

The nervousness in that inquiry pushed Gyro on. What he was grappling with wasn’t important. There was a child in front of him, needing to be consoled. And while he normally was awkward with children—with people in general, really—Gyro knew about BOYD at least from a technical aspect. He wasn’t a medical doctor, but he did have a doctorate in mechanical engineering. He could work from there—he knew hardly anything about children from a biological standpoint, anyway. In a way, BOYD being an android worked to his advantage here. Gyro sobered up mentally and placed both hands on the little one’s shoulders.

“Yes,” he replied, surprised with himself that he was able to sound so matter-of-fact so quickly. He tried as hard as he could to sound gentle too. “Besides your internal structure, you are otherwise indistinguishable from organic life. You have thoughts and feelings, wants and needs. It’s inherent for you to be sad just as any normal boy would—because that’s what you are.”

BOYD looked back at the ground for a moment, then up at Gyro again, putting his tiny hand over the fold of the man’s thin elbow. There was something he wanted to know—there was still pain in his chest that was building up beyond his control.

“Then…” he asked with teary, pleading eyes, “Can I cry a little more?”

Gyro wished that he knew just what to say—his heart ached so much to hear such a little boy ask for permission to feel—but he simply gave a pitying, guilty, yet mostly obligatory, “Yes.”

That one word of acceptance sent BOYD over the edge. A little hiccup escaped him, and what had previously been only silent tears that fell on their own turned into a full-on fit. BOYD covered his face and wept.

Gyro tried and failed to swallow the lump in his throat when he saw BOYD truly cry for the first time. But in under a minute, his creation said something that brought him to accommodate without a single thought.

“Dr. Gearloose? I know you said back in Tokyolk that hugging was just for that day, but—”

BOYD was interrupted when Gyro immediately drew him in with a one-armed hug, bringing him close and holding him tight. BOYD in turn drew himself closer to his creator, no longer holding back.

BOYD’s little cries then were soft and whining, innocent and unhinged in the way that became any child. Any time he needed to sniff or dry his eyes, he buried his face into Gyro’s chest, and sunk his tiny fingers deep into his vest. The length in each wail that came on now and again reflected the fact that BOYD had never cried before, and that he was discovering in the moment just how much he needed to all this time.

Poor BOYD, Gyro thought, barely ever allowed to simply hug anyone before. He was the sweetest living creature Gyro had ever known—always smiling so jubilantly and talking politely to everyone and everything—and yet so many people met him only with malice? That was far too unfair.

Oh.

But then, that was exactly what he’d done, wasn’t it? He’d so readily assumed when Inspector Tezuka brought BOYD down that he’d created something evil—he’d thought the evidence was everywhere, quite literally. But couldn’t it have been just as easy to think that someone like Dr. Akita who’d turned out to be a known criminal could have been responsible? Couldn’t Gyro have at least considered for a second that it wasn’t BOYD’s fault and defended him more? But he hadn’t. Instead he’d let his young mind believe everything his former mentor drilled into his head; His inventions were weapons, plain and simple, and nothing would change the fact that that would be a part of him the rest of his life—that he would always know somewhere in the back of his mind that he was just a big screw-up. And Gyro had taken that out on BOYD. He’d turned his anger and fear over himself and projected it into anger and fear over his first real invention. He’d defended inventions like Lil’ Bulb to the last ditch—even when the evidence they were turning evil was just as seemingly apparent, if not more so. Even they weren’t referred to as failures. All that bitter sarcasm and unkindness that became a part of who he was had all been based on nothing. When they’d reunited, he lashed out at BOYD over and over again, scornful whenever he even looked at him, refusing to call him anything other than an ‘it’, saying he was dangerous to his very core, saying he didn’t have feelings—even when the sadness and frightened tentative motions in his expression and body were clear as day—he even said straight to BOYD’s face that he was going to ‘fix’ his malfunctions by essentially flat-out killing him.

Gyro was furious when Mark Beaks made BOYD cry. But the first person to ever treat him inhumanely, was Gyro himself. It made him feel so unbearably guilty he almost couldn’t breathe. No matter what his eyes would look like anytime Akita’s programming kicked in—those things weren’t even there anymore. Anytime Gyro thought back, those big eyes were always so full of light—light of happiness, of sadness, of kindness, of intelligence, of innocence. How could he have ever looked at eyes like that—eyes that were capable of producing tears—and thought BOYD was evil?

Even if the child wouldn’t say so, Gyro knew there must still exist an ache within him over being rejected by the person that gave him life. He owed it to him to make it known just how sorry he was for it—even if the words kept getting jammed in the middle of his throat.

“BOYD,” he faltered, though it was now becoming easier to call him by his real name, “I need to apologize for the way I treated you back then. I know Mark Beaks hurt you when he told you that you weren’t worth his time. But the awful things I’ve said to you… they’re no different.”

BOYD calmed himself down a little to be able to speak. He didn’t face Gyro when he answered, but it wasn’t out of unacceptance—his answer was simply an automatic one.

“It’s okay…”

Gyro let go of BOYD for a moment to stare at him gravely in the face.

“No. It’s not okay.”

Gyro couldn’t remember when he’d talked so seriously before. He’d talked sternly—talked angrily—shouted several times… But as far as he knew, nothing compelled him to speak so straightforward and strict and deadpan as this in his life. He wasn’t going to let anyone make excuses for him ever again—not BOYD, and most certainly not himself.

“I said I’ve spent my whole life trying to live down my first invention being evil. But you were never made evil. I made you out to be evil. And now I’m going to spend the rest of my life living down ever having damaged you like that.”

Gyro found himself astonished that he was able to say what he did next, but nonetheless let it be said; BOYD needed to hear exactly what he was deserving of.

“And I’m going to spend the rest of my life trying to do right by you. Because after everything that’s happened, I am so proud that a boy like you does right by me.”

In spite of BOYD’s constant shivering and whimpering, he was able to smile comfortingly just for a moment, nestling his head further into Gyro’s scrawny arms.

“I of all people know what it’s like to be new to Duckburg and down on your luck with nothing—with nobody. But I was fortunate. I met Scrooge McDuck and he gave me a place to work, and to make my way up the ladder. He was the only one to give me a second chance—to trust me.”

Gyro sighed.

“I’m sorry I didn’t do the same for you—as if I didn’t learn. How you stayed the same as I built you this whole time is beyond me. I’m nothing like you.”

“That’s… That’s not true,” BOYD sniffed, rubbing his eyes again, “If I make you as proud as you say, then some of that had to come from you—where else would I get it from? The only other person around me then was Dr. Akita, and then I spent twenty years asleep in Duckburg. I’m like this because you made me. And if I’m still like this, that part of you has to still be in you too—doesn’t it?”

Gyro couldn’t respond to something so kind. He couldn’t. Gyro didn’t deserve merit like that. Instead, he turned to another question that he’d been thinking of as BOYD stayed settled under his arm—something more technical, but still in reference to the android’s feelings and his sentience.

“When you shiver…” he asked with difficulty, “Is it because you’re cold? And if you overheat, do you feel feverish?”

“I do feel sort of sick when something overheats inside me… At home, it’s treated like I have a cold, which usually helps. But… when I’m cold, I operate at peak efficiency, so that’s never uncomfortable.”

BOYD’s voice was still full of quiet hiccups and characterized by the hurt within him.

“I guess I’m shivering because of how sad I feel. There are a lot of things I’m scared of—and things I’m so glad of, they hurt—but mostly, I just keep thinking back to what Mr. Beaks said. He brings up this little voice in my head that tells me people don’t want me. Like I’m making it hard for them.”

Gyro surprised himself again by stroking the back of BOYD’s head lightly. Nevertheless, he responded with defense and firmness in his tone.

“You should make it hard for people like that to want you. If you’re a waste of energy to someone like Mark Beaks, then good. The more you keep being yourself, the less they’ll stick around to hurt you.”

BOYD looked up at Gyro once more with his wet, shining eyes.

“But you won’t do that if I’m myself around you, right?”

That question pulled Gyro into a riptide of guilt so strong that it almost drove him to cry. But he squeezed his eyes shut, fighting down the urge for BOYD’s sake—this was about him. He made it clear to himself he’d never let his little creation down again when he hugged him in Tokyolk—and now he was going to make it clear to BOYD, say it out loud to his face so there was never any doubt again. Gyro rested the hand he had on BOYD’s head, held him just a tad closer with his arm, and said,

“I’m only saying this once; There is nothing you could do in front of me that wouldn’t make me want you. Ever. You can come to me for whatever you need. I’m not going anywhere.”

Gyro watched as that sentence prompted tear after tear to fall down BOYD’s heated face, nearly every part of his insides nagging uncontrollably at him when the little creature encircled his puny waist with his arms.

“I’m so glad!”

The sobs that BOYD let loose figuratively jabbed the scientist in the gut as he thought of the fact that were it not for his sheer irresponsibility, the poor little thing would never have had to be born into a world that presented such harsh treatment.

Still, BOYD wanted to cry. Didn’t the need to cry come from getting to let go—to feel better—to be alive?

Gyro thought as he instinctively continued to stroke the small head under him with his thumb. If he had brought a life into the world that was going to have bad moments, that meant that the same life was going to have happy moments too, didn’t it? Well—he already had! BOYD might as well have been built as a bluebird. Gyro should be glad BOYD was finally allowed to have this kind of release. It meant he could finally, truly, feel like the definitely real boy he was. The pain of fault and responsibility still wracked Gyro—he figured it always might—but at this point, he was relieved the poor thing he held close in the underwater lab wasn’t going to be mistreated any longer—not if he could stand to help it. ______________________________

BOYD sat in Gyro’s lap, beginning to feel better as he allowed himself to let everything out in the embrace of someone close to him. He could cry as much as he needed around Gyro. And he was going to take that allowance for all it was worth.

Part of his crying now came from the warmth he felt knowing that the old Gyro he thought he’d lost was still in there somewhere—that he hadn’t gone after all—and that even though he’d through no fault of his own gotten it lost, he had brought its return as well. That restored a lot more of BOYD’s self-worth than he fully realized.

BOYD was so grateful—so, so grateful to have that Gyro here again. He didn’t understand why at first it hurt so much to be called an ‘it’ by his creator—he didn’t remember Gyro was his creator at the time—but to think that someone was afraid of him and that someone hated him just for being himself stung so badly. He didn’t cry then—he didn’t know he could. But he cried now, over the cutting things Mark Beaks said, over Gyro’s hand at his back, over anything he could think of that needed crying over—mostly however over the knowledge by now that Gyro didn’t see him as nothing more than a destructive machine—as ‘evil down to his core’ any longer. He could tell that even if Gyro didn’t say it, he loved him; He risked his own life just to hold him in his arms, to save him and others from himself. Now BOYD really did have someone who loved him the way a father would a son. He could hug Gyro if he wanted—as many times as he felt like it—and never be brushed off. That thought brought such relief to him, his processor couldn’t take it all in.

But he didn’t tell Gyro any of this; He noticed all those looks on his face—they gave away just how terrible he felt over not being able to do as much as he wanted for him right away. So he kept any more words from leaving his mouth in order not to burden his guardian with any more guilt. BOYD simply let himself release all the emotions he could which he didn’t know he had before, as if he were wringing himself out—and as such, began soaking up all the comfort he was being given like a dry and thirsty sponge.

BOYD learned some wonderful things that day as he clung so strongly to Dr. Gearloose in that lab—much as it hurt to tremble violently, and bleed out feelings until one’s eyes burned, and let out enough raw noise fit to make one’s throat sore. He learned that being allowed to feel so sad was rewarding, and cleansing. He learned that tears were something he could produce no matter what he felt. And he learned that everyone in the world would make mistakes, no matter what or who they were, but that it was never too late to grow from them.

~ Holy shoot, wow, this is the first serious fic I’ve ever posted on here before.

I really wanted to share it, because it took so long to write—although I didn’t think it would turn out so long… 8k words! It’s the lengthiest thing I’ve ever written.

Anyway, this is a story that is very dear to my heart, not only because I put the most into it out of anything, but because studying Gyro Gearloose as a character and loving his dynamic with BOYD has been one of the most amazing things to think of through the hiatus that came after Astro BOYD.

I always loved BOYD, of course, but once I started seeing all the art and fanfics that others had started doing out of the emotions that came with his and Gyro’s backstory, I got swept up in it too, and wanted desperately to get out all those feelings into one story.

The idea came from the concept of whether or not BOYD can cry. We’ve never really seen him do it before, and it’d probably be hard because he’s normally so happy—but I kept wondering if he, as an android, even could. So it hit me; What if BOYD could cry, but Gyro wasn’t aware of it? What if even BOYD wasn’t aware of it? I kept playing with what would possibly make him cry, because even when Gyro was threatening to shut him down or was calling him ‘it’, BOYD only frowned a little. Suddenly I got the nasty idea of Mark Beaks showing up and telling him he never wants to see him again, and it built from there—I started also thinking that maybe what brings BOYD to cry is just a long enough buildup of pain, and maybe he couldn’t feel as much because Akita’s meddling with him had gotten in the way before.

On a sidenote, Mark Beaks was pretty hard to write at first; I had to make sure his confidence was switched on all the time or he’d come off a little out of character. But much as this is about Gyro & BOYD, Beaks being awful is so deliciously fun to write. I think it’s because he makes you love whoever he’s being mean to even more.

Anyway, after I’d written that part out, I spent a lot more time than I initially thought I would focusing on how all this would make Gyro feel—that is, how much guilt his responsibility would bring on. I’m really desperate to see for myself how they interact in canon from now on, but I always imagine that Gyro’s feelings which are most associated with being a father are of guilt; They make him protective of BOYD, they make him sensitive to BOYD, and they might drive him to treat BOYD—again, be more like a father. Pretty much all Gyro’s niceness comes from wanting a do-over.

I never post my serious writing publicly—mostly because I’m really tentative and shy about showing my literary ‘skills’ and the kinds of raw emotion I spill out in words sometimes—but this fic slowly became something I wanted really badly to share with the DT fandom, as a thing that could both be a way to show my own interpretation and thoughts of Gyro and BOYD, and could maybe even be liked by people as much as it is by me.

I know a good few episodes have aired since Astro BOYD did, and that it’s been a long while since the episode has been talked about, but I’ve only now been brave enough to decide to put this story out there for all to see.

I really hope you enjoyed it.

(Incidentally, I wanted to be sure to post it before Let’s Get Dangerous! airs, because I know this fic would get swallowed up by all the emotions to be had from that episode… ^^; )

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #279

“she could kill you with a wink of her eye.”

Have you ever met a guy for coffee? No, I don’t like coffee. Do you feed your leftovers to your dogs? I don’t currently have any dogs, but when I did, it was very rare and (almost) only if he wasn’t begging for it. The only exception was chicken nuggets; Teddy loved him some chicken nuggets, holy shit. That and peanut butter he would always get so excited about. What tricks does your pet do? Neither my cat nor obviously my snake know any tricks. Do you believe in psychics? No. When you hear the name “Ginger” what do you think of? Jason’s fatass beagle. I wonder how she is a lot, she was a darling. What is the worst damage that your car has seen? N/A What was the last thing that annoyed you? Probably my chronic boredom. :’) How would your parents react if you got pregnant (or got someone pregnant)? Both would be extremely confused seeing as I’m not with a guy and absolutely do not want kids. Have you ever had a fight with your boyfriend/girlfriend’s mom or dad? Nope. Are you afraid of frogs? No, they’re Good. How would you react if a complete stranger complimented you? It depends on the compliment and how it’s delivered. If you sound genuine and it’s not creepy, it’s honestly really flattering and sweet, though I get really shy. Who was the last person to make you cry? Myself, technically, thinking too much about he who I shouldn’t, y’know. Do you have Facebook? I do. How would you react if you found out your crush had a terminal disease? God, I don’t want to think about this. I’d be absolutely crushed. Do you eat applesauce? I don’t go out of my way to get some, but sure, I like applesauce. What was the last pill you took for? It was one of my mood stabilizers. Are you in the hospital a lot? No, thankfully. What is your dentist’s first name, if you know it? I have no clue. Have you ever walked on the beach at night? Yes. Does your mother have any sisters? One. Do you read poetry/make it? I don’t really read it anymore, but once in five blue moons I’ll write one if I’m really inspired. Have you ever had braces? Yes, for way too long because we couldn’t afford to take them off. I think it’s why one of my bottom front teeth is angled back a bit. Your parents split; would you want to live with your mom or dad? My parents are divorced and I live(d) with my mom. Ever told your parents you were going somewhere but went somewhere else? To Mom, yes. My sisters and I were going to visit Dad and it was just easier back then to make something else up. Are you afraid of lifts? Elevators? Yes. Not terribly, but I’m not a fan. Who did you last talk to in person? Is that person attractive? My “other mom” Tobey; she brought me some groceries while Mom’s away. She’s Mom’s age though so no, I’m not attracted to her. She’s like family. Have you ever had a deep, personal conversation with a stranger? I mean, isn’t that therapy at first? lmao Let’s talk about the person you had your first kiss with. Do you still talk to that person? If so, do you still like them? Would you kiss them again? No; no, I like his memory; I fucking hope not. How many times have you cried over the person you love/like? A couple times. When was the last time you wanted to cry, but didn’t, because you didn’t want to show that you were upset? Why? I’m really not sure. What are three things that are guaranteed to make you smile, or put you in a good mood? Going on a car ride with me in shotgun to blare my music; seeing Mark laugh oh my FUCKING god; and seeing meerkats being cute. What is something in your life that you feel hopeful about right now? Nothing. What was the last thing you worried about that turned out better than expected? My first teletherapy appointment. What is a meal you eat extremely often? Or do your meals & food choices vary a lot? Chicken of some sort is very, very common. What was the last thing you changed your mind about? Ummm… good question. I know I have done this recently, I just can’t remember it… Who tends to show up in your dreams? Do you ever wonder if you appear in anyone else’s dreams? Jason is practically a staple. Mom is there a lot. And sure, doesn’t everyone? Instead of flat earth, what do you think of the simulated earth theory, that we’re basically all just a giant computer program or virtual reality? I think it’s possible, there really is some convincing evidence, but I lean more towards not believing it. What worries you most about your future? What the fuck I’m doing with my life. What is something you do to feel better when you’re scared? Deep breathing. Who do you feel you can count on the most in life? Is there anyone you wish you could count on more? Mom, and sure. When was the last time you shared a secret with someone, and how did they react? I’m not sure. Are you more likely to give advice or to ask for it? Give. What is the strangest book you have ever read? How did you find out about it? OH MY GOD, SUDDEN MEMORY. There was this book we read in elementary school about this kid who made everything he touched turn to chocolate and it was fuckin wild. Do you prefer to watch movies or tv alone or with other people? Is there anything you refuse to watch alone? Oh, absolutely with someone. Y’all know I don’t enjoy TV that much anyway. What was the subject of the last video you watched? I’m watching the VOD on-and-off of a WoW streamer I like. Who taught you the most valuable lesson in life and what was that lesson? Jason. Don’t let anyone but yourself become your main source of happiness and worth. Have you got perfect vision? Hell no. I’ve got glasses for a good reason. What colour is the door to your house? White. Would you prefer a pet rat, mouse, snake, lizard or spider? Snake. <3 Are you a good liar (tell the truth this time)? Yes. Do you like the smell of a barbecue or bonfire? Yeah, even though I hate barbecue itself. Do you think rainbows are pretty or overrated? Who the fuck thinks they’re “overrated”??? Rainbows are gorgeous. I think we can all agree on that. Are you more skeptical or gullible? Skeptical. How often do you drink sodas or fizzy drinks? LOLOL I DO NOT WANT TO ANSWER THIS QUESTION. Has anyone ever called you apathetic or unemotional? Considering I’m the polar opposite, no. Prefer being in control in a team environment, helping out, or taking orders? Help out. Do you like carrot cake? GIRL yes. Do you view animals as being just as important as people? Why or why not? Yes, because we have no greater right than them to be here. Hell, they’re probably more deserving with humanity’s selfishness. I’m aware as a meat eater there’s some hypocrisy here, buuut still in my heart I see them as just as valuable. What made you stop talking to the last person you cut out of your life? She made an absolutely infuriating, false assumption of my mother. Is there a situation or person you haven’t been able to get over/forgive? I’ve forgiven him. Forgetting’s a different story. What are you like during arguments? Regardless of the topic or severity, I will absolutely be fumbling over my words, stuttering, and find eye contact difficult. It’s definitely not rare that I’ll be crying. Where do you like to be kissed? WELL this depends on the mood y’know. What is more difficult for you, looking into someone’s eyes when you are telling someone how you feel, or looking into someone’s eyes when they are telling you how they feel? I dunno, both can be very hard. Think of the last time you were REALLY angry. WHY were you angry? Do you still feel the same way? It’s petty and I’d rather not give it the time of day. But I still am kind of angry, though I shouldn’t be. There is a fire in the back of the plane. You have enough time to make ONE phone call. Who do you call? What do you tell them? Why is this so oddly specific lol. But anyway, Mom, and that I love her. Would you rather be hurt by the one you trust the most or the one you love the most? The one I trust the most. Think of the last person who you know that died. You have the chance to give them one hour of life back, but you have to give up one year of yours. Do you do it? Why or why not? No, because she was miserable. When was the last time you told someone HONESTLY how you felt regardless of how difficult it was for you to say? Who was it? What did you have to tell the person? I don’t know. What do you think would be the hardest thing for you to give up? Why would it be hard to lose? Sara. Her friendship means a fucking lot to me. Excluding romantic love, when was the last time you told someone you loved them. Who were they to you? Yesterday to my mom. Are you old fashioned? HA, definitely not. Have you ever gone up to a car thinking it was yours and tried to get in it? Oh my god yes. What’s your most irrational fear? There are plenty of them that I have. Whale sharks lmao. Musicals: yay or nay? I can’t help it, they’re always cheesy to me. Do you play the games on MySpace/Facebook? No. When was the last time you were sunburnt? A few years ago when I went to the beach with Colleen and her fam. It was actually to the point of being sun poisoning. No words for how painful that shit was. How many times have you re-pierced a piercing yourself? Never have, never would. I’m trusting a professional with that. What’s your favorite band? Ozzy Osbourne, of course. :’) How often do you pray? Never. Have you ever hugged someone for over a minute? Yeah. Would you ever get a tattoo on your collarbone? I already have one but am getting it covered with something else eventually. It just doesn’t really apply to me. Do you wake up cranky? Not usually; I’m usually in my best mood in the morning. Are you an official couple with the last person you kissed? No. Who was the last person to hold your hand? I don’t recall. What do you miss most about your ex? Define which ex. Are you attracted to the last person that kissed you? Yeah. Do you and your last ex hate each other? We’re best friends lmao. Have you ever regretted kissing someone? Yes. Are you faster at text messaging or typing on the computer? Absolutely typing on the computer. I make typos while texting too much. Has anybody ever told somebody one of your secrets? Probably. Have you ever kissed anybody who had a mustache? Yes If you were famous do you think you could handle the popularity? Nooooo no no. Have your parents ever told you about their love lives, and any previous relationships they had before they met? I’ve heard small stories about past relationships. Do you know anyone that’s gotten an abortion before? Yes. Have you ever been arrested? No. Who’s the last person that gave you roses? Tyler. Who’s the last guy you texted? My dad. What about the last girl? Sara. When was your first real relationship? From age 15 to 19-ish. Have you ever cried over an ex? I have PTSD stemming from one of them so guess lmao. Do you ever think about your ex and cry? ^ Have you ever cussed someone out? I remember one occasion at my sister’s stupid fucking ex. What’s the most trouble you’ve ever gotten in with your parents? Hm, not sure. Is there something really bad that you’ve done, that only YOU know about? No. Do you have a lot of secrets? Not really. Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend? No. Have you ever told someone’s deep, dark secret? No. “Your secret it safe with me” is something I’m hardcore about. Have you ever pushed someone into a pool? I don’t think so, no. Do you have a super-secret hiding place and what’s in it? No. Have you ever you shop lifted? No. What state (or country) do you live in? North Carolina. Are you listening to music right now? Yes; 3TEETH's cover of "Pumped Up Kicks." I have fallen in LOVE with them. What is your newest favorite website? I don’t think I’ve really had a “new” favorite website in like eons. Do you have embarrassing memories of stupid things you've done? You have no fucking idea. I still remember things that embarrassed me in pre-k. What was the last thing you cooked on the stove? Scrambled eggs, I’m sure. What color Christmas tree do you want when you have a house someday? BLACK. BLACK WITH FAUX SNOW. How fucking gorgeous would that be??? Have you ever had to use an epi pen? No. Do you know the names of 3 of your neighbors? No. I only know the name of one. What was the last thing you cooked that you burnt or cooked for too long? I’m unsure. If you could have a car in any color, which color would you choose? ANY color? Pink. What was the last grocery store you shopped at? Walmart. What was the last type of milk you drank? 2%. Do you plan to vote in the next election? Yes. I believe silence speaks for the evil in situations like this, and I’m done doing that. Thooouuugh I gotta educate myself on the candidates… What was the last act of creativity you displayed? Writing. What is the last thing you charged? My laptop. Who was the last person to upload a picture with you in it? I don’t know, been a long time. Do you like peas? NOOOOOOOOO. It’s funny, according to Mom, I loooved peas as a baby, but now I’m just like… can’t relate. Do you ever wear sleep masks when you sleep or shower caps when you shower? No. Which friend are you most similar to? Sara and I are very similar. Your ex calls wanting to hang out. What do you say? Well Sara is many states away so like,,,, we can’t unless I wanna buy a plane ticket lmao. If it was Jason, I pretty much know I’d say yes like a fucking idiot. If it was Girt, it’d be a yeah, we haven’t hung out in forever. Do you have alcohol in your house? No. Have you or anyone you know been to rehab? I’m sure someone has. Have you ever swung on a tire swing? I think I have at least once. What’s a discontinued product you wish they still made? Damn, I know there are some, but they’re not coming to me. Have you ever been involved in Facebook drama? Yes. Actually told a motherfucker off a few days back that claimed there was “something wrong” with Breonna Taylor and her death was justifiable. I. Went. The fuck. Off. Then everyone joined in. :D Do you have anything against women who choose to be stay-at-home-mothers? No?????? The fuck?????????? Have you ever kissed someone with a beard? Not a lengthy one. What gaming consoles do you own? PS2, Wii, GameBoy Advance, Nintendo DS Lite, my laptop, and uhhh I think that’s it. Have you ever been so sick you had to be taken to the hospital? Well, mentally sick. Do you know any lesbian couples? Yes. Did your parents monitor your internet usage when you were a teen? Yes. Well, Mom did. Is there anything in the USB key slots in your computer/laptop? Yes, the thing that communicates with my wireless mouse. What advertisements are on your screen at the moment? None. Was there ever a time when you felt absolutely terrified? If so, why? I can’t describe how terrified I was the night of the breakup. It felt so unreal, and I was so certain my life was over. Then there was an occasion where my dad picked my sister and me up from school and he was in an AWFUL mood; he was speeding like a motherfucker and running red lights. I absolutely thought a we were going to get in a wreck or die. Then I have anxiety and have experienced panic attacks, so… guess lmao. Who’s one person who changed how you viewed something? One of the most profound in my life is actually Rhett and Link as well as Hannah Hart. When I started watching GMM, I was actually still homophobic, but gradually I started to ship the fuck out of those angel boys despite it. I started questioning my viewpoint, and finally, on their podcast where Hannah was the guest, telling her personal LGBT story, it just clicked how disgustingly wrong I was. When was the last time you went to a bar? I’ve never been to one. Why did you last see the doctor? I’m going to assume you mean a doctor for physical reasons, in which case I went in to talk about if I qualified for a sleep study regarding my nightmares, only to be told that because my actual doctor was absent, she could do nothing. Sooo Mom and I walked in pretty much just to pay someone to say “wait.” How do you spend the majority of your free time? Something on the computer, I’m sure. Lately, what I’ve been doing most is playing WoW while watching/listening to something. List the cards in your wallet. I don’t care enough to look. Not a lot. What was the last thing to inspire you? Ummm idk. How has COVID affected you? It really hasn’t, other than giving me anxiety regarding my mom as she is in the “of most concern” demographic, if you will. We don’t know if her cancer is gone yet due to the whole emergency trip to NY. But yeah, I personally leave the house like… never, so my daily life hasn’t really had any deviations. What is a comfort show of yours? Hm. I share enough that I’m not a TV person, so I don’t really seek out a show when I need comfort. But I guess if I was sitting there with the remote and I was really down, I’d be happy to find That ‘70s Show. Do you think we were put on this earth for a reason? As I believe *some* sort of greater intelligence is responsible for the universe, I like to think so. But if not, make your own reason. What is something you have done this year you’re proud of? I’ve been home alone for over a month now and am somehow doing okay, taking care of the house and myself. Animal Crossing , yay or nay? I’ve never played it. Not of my interest in games. Do you think breaks are toxic in a relationship? “Breaks” are bullshit. You’re either together or you’re not.

[kamino-ink]

Brawl | Lee Minho [Disney!au]

✧ Genre: Disney!au, fluff, cheesy as fuck Minho, suggestive bc its Minho how can I nOt-

✧ Summary: You’re not exactly the most interesting of people, at least not your eyes; but one of the biggest delinquents in town, the son of Ursula, insists on defending your honor no matter what.

✧ Word Count: 2.6k

✧ Want to read other parts of this series? Check out my masterlist!

                                         ✧

you weren’t the child of some important fairytale character, rather you were simply a normal citizen growing up as normally as anyone else

sure life was interesting enough watching the children of important figures in the land of fairytales and stories, but you preferred to mind your own business in the solitude of your home by the beach

you’d moved out from the main hub of town about a year ago, deciding that you didn't need to rely on the financial support of your parents after graduating

and even if you didn't say it, a lot of people who knew you personally were well aware that you were content with living in the town of magical or powerful beings; while others craved to leave the land in favor of exploring the rest of the world, it was essentially impossible

some of the founders of the land arranged a sort of plan to keep the coming generations safe from harm - if they were all trapped in one place, they couldn't harm innocent people outside of their realm or vice versa

so basically all of you were stuck on a single island, meant to inhabit it for generations to come

but none of you were allowed to ever leave the island, as doing so would alert normal humans of your existence; one could never trust their intentions

so while you were technically a child of a couple in the universe of Peter Pan, you didn't really care about your status

on the other hand, those who resided in the central part of town consisted mostly of the children of characters who played big roles in their stories; from Mulan to Merida, almost every character written down in the books had been cast into the real world so they could live in peace

so here you were, fresh out of the comfort of your parent’s home, sat sipping on some herbal tea to clear your sinuses by the beach

miniscule grains of sand snuck between your toes, but you didn't quite mind, choosing instead to let your body relax into the sand

you had come out here for a reason; to be free of the binds in town and live your own peaceful life of utter solitude

“Jisung you moron, I cannot believe that you got us kicked out again!”

“Listen Seungmin, its not my fault that they couldn't handle my bare-chested sexiness-”

“I am this close to hexing you, asshole. Just because your dad never wore a shirt in his goddamn life doesn't mean you need to be the same.”

it was mostly a life of solitude, not counting the occasional intruders who would freely walk down the shore of the beach just in front of your cozy hut

you recognized the pair arguing just feet away from yourself; they were the sons of Tarzan and Maleficent, respectively

oh my god if they're here, I bet that dickhead is here too-

“Morning, gorgeous. I was wondering when we’d pass by your... hut.” Lee Minho himself hummed with an amused smirk, his piercing gaze darting down to your more than exasperated expression

ah, Lee Minho was a peculiar case indeed. He was the only son of Ursula, having been born merely a month before the island founders transported everyone here

while most parents, good or evil, tried to make sure all of their children would get along with one another, it was as if Ursula had thrown that idea out the door and encouraged her son to do the things he did

he was enticing, owning a voice of gold that would make anyone’s heart to backflips if he spoke to them

he was also known to be one of the most cunning, strongest people on the island

Minho frequently picked fights on people of all shapes, sizes, and ancestry - he didn't give a flying fuck if you were the love-child of a famous prince and princess, he could and would initiate a brawl if he wanted to

while a good portion of the community looked at the man in distaste and fear, you knew he was a good man deep down

he only ever picked fights with people who really deserved it

for example, when a group of kids in high school had been making fun of Changbin’s parents since his dad was bisexual [in this day and age? wild] Minho was the first one to throw a punch, helping his friend beat the shit out of them

yeah they were suspended and nearly expelled, but from that day on you couldn't help but admire him in a sense

you’d grown up side by side, but since you weren’t too important, you weren’t really involved with anything the other big-leagues did

while Minho was captain of both the swim team and the dance team, you were usually found in the background, simply minding your own business

of course you felt an odd connection with the man, as well as other kids older than yourself and those born in the same year as you

all of you had been born before the transportation to the real world, and while the youngest included the likes of you and Minho both, just born months ahead of time - each of you wondered what life was like in the world of fairytales and fictional stories

but something inside your head convinced you to approach him all those years ago back in high school

you’d been watching him and the son of Cinderella since the start of their swim practice, admiring how easily he moved in the water

which was because he was practically made for it, considering his ancestry

“hey, Minho,” you’d called out to him, still leaning against one of the walls when he glanced over to you in surprise, “come here for a second.”

and he’d done just that, walking over to you in all his glory, water dripping down his bare chest and arms, his black hair wet but still somehow looking neat and presentable

“uh, hi?”

“could you - could you teach me how to fight?” you’d stuttered out to him in sheer panic, his own eyes twinkling in curiosity at your request

“I um - you see, well, I have to walk home alone after work most nights and it isn’t exactly... safe, I guess.” which isn't a lie, in all honesty

in the late hours of the night, you worked at a measly grocery store to get some easy cash, but having to walk home alone was incredibly scary

even though all of you had been, for the most part, raised in the human world, there were still low-life's and downright villainous people residing on the island

knowing that you could possibly run into someone like that alone with no way of defending yourself was a daunting thought

“yea, sure, why not.” Minho had agreed almost immediately, much to your surprise

ever since then, after school, the boy would drive you to the gym and train with you

whenever you got off of work he was right outside the front door where you would walk out, waiting so he could walk you home each night

you were a bit confused, since you had been training with him so you wouldn't feel defenseless by yourself - but he insisted on making sure you got home safely no matter what

over the years the two of you grew to be quite close, so much so that you'd been nominated prom king and queen

you still had the picture of you two dancing in celebration, red solo cups in hand as he had been in the middle of twirling you on the heels of your feet when the candid photograph had been taken

“What? Too distracted by my dashing good looks to talk?” He pressed on smugly, snapping his fingers just inches in front of your face to snap you out of your daydream

“In your dreams, Minho,” you retort with a roll of your eyes, accepting his hand lent out to help you stand from the sand you’d been sitting in, “I was just... thinking.”

“Ouch, that must hurt.”

“Shut it, octopus.” You hiss, flicking his forehead while Jisung and Seungmin made their way towards the two of you.

“Anywho, Chan is throwing some huge party tonight and invited you to come.” He informed you with a bit of bitterness to his tone, much to your amusement

it was painfully obvious how Minho had a... thing, for you, to say the least. while you didn’t know if it was a short-lived infatuation or genuine feelings, it was hilarious to witness him become jealous over the smallest things

like one time where Felix, the son of Belle, had been helping you with schoolwork in the library

his head was close to yours, bent down so he could quietly explain how to work out the difficult problems [what? he is a genius, so you didn't mind the younger boy helping you out at all]

then Minho had sauntered in, almost immediately spotting two of his closest friends so close together with the smart Felix whispering something to you

despite your protests, Minho had insisted that he help you instead, sending Felix away by reminding him that they had a dance competition in just a few days - the freckled boy had gasped and rushed out quickly to the studio just for some extra practice, trusting the older boy to help

needless to say, you had failed that assignment horribly

“aww, is little Minho jealous?” You asked him in a teasing tone, wiping off the remnants of sand from your sundress, making Jisung and Seungmin snicker behind you

the black haired man glared at you playfully, though his lips were curled into a pout

“Y/N, I am not jealous - oh, forget it, I was wondering if you wanted to come to town with us while we picked up some food and shit for the party.”

you shrugged, knowing full well that you didn't have anything else to do for the rest of the afternoon besides sitting in the sand or wading in the water

“Sure, just let me put on some shoes- Minho!” You squeaked in surprise when he doesn't even give you the chance to finish, as he’s easily picked you up and thrown you onto his back

you huffed and puffed at him, gently smacking his head as he lead your small group off the beach and up the path towards the main part of town, ignoring your squeals of protest the entire time

about an hour had passed and you were still stuck on Minho’s back, even after all that shopping and going through shops to find food

Jisung and Seungmin were walking just a few feet ahead of you two, carrying the light bags of food for the party in their hands while Minho lagged a bit behind them, his hands supporting your legs still wrapped around his waist

“Goddamn, look at that ass!”

“You think her boyfriend will get pissed if we snap a pic?”

you gawked in disbelief at what you were hearing, turning your head to see two younger boys cheekily winking at you

you had completely forgotten you were still wearing a sundress, and while your backside was protected by shorts, it still left little to the imagination

you felt Minho pause abruptly in his tracks just so he could slowly turn around and face your disgusting catcallers

“Say another word about my girl and I swear to god I’ll snap your limbs like twigs.” He threatens the mischievous boys lowly, his voice dead serious and intimidating

as if they were wanting a death wish, the pair of boys rolled their eyes and sent not-so-discreate winks to you, completely ignoring the boiling man carrying you

“Hey lady, if this weirdo isn’t giving you what you need, we can solve that problem for you.”

with a deep breath Minho gently slid you off of his back, pushing you behind him while Jisung and Seungmin made their way back to you two, clearly wondering what had happened to make their friend so eerily pissed

“You two shitheads need to learn some fucking respect,” the tall man growled in a growing fury, his fists clenching and unclenching at his sides, “or would you like me to knock some common fucking sense into those empty brains of yours?”

“Alright alright, we’ll back off man.” One of them gave in with a roll of his eyes, holding his hands up in surrender as he started to lead his partner past you and the two boys still staring in curiosity

then, as they made their way past you, one of them reached out and squeezed your ass invasively, smirking at your gasp of shock and disgust

he didn't have time to even blink before Minho had swung at him so hard that he’d been knocked out

his friend looked back quickly, his eyes wide in fear at what just happened

if he decided to fight back, you were sure that Minho would turn the confrontation into an all out brawl

“Take him away before I decide to make the bastard bleed.” Minho growled, now standing in front of you protectively while the boy nodded comically fast, picking his friend up with one arm and waddling away

that night you decided not to go to the party - the confrontation from the shopping trip still had you a bit zoned out, and you knew that if you had gone you would've been too anxious with so many drunk, hormonal people crowded into one space

“Minho, you didn't have to stay with me.” You sigh to the man, glancing over to him and watching as he clenches his jaw, still clearly upset at the event earlier that day

you could tell that he blamed himself for whatever reason; he probably thought he could’ve prevented the sick guy from touching you, but none of you could’ve predicted that he would have acted so rashly anyway

“Too bad, princess, you're stuck with me.” He huffed back, not sparing you one look in fear that he might lose it and freak out about the incident again

you let out a deep, resounding sigh before you scoot closer to him on the stairs of your porch, resting your head on his shoulders comfortingly

you could feel one of his hands trailing up your bare thigh, his fingertips lazily tracing your skin as you both watched the ocean waves lap at the sandy shore of the beach

“Let me... let me be the only man who can touch you, Y/N.” Minho blurts out suddenly, though his voice is oddly serious and quiet

your cheeks heat up quickly at his blunt statement, though you can’t seem to comprehend exactly what he’s suggesting

“When that sicko touched you today, I was so close to ripping his head off. You didn't give him permission so that’s why -” he breaks off with a gulp, his fingers now squeezing your thigh, as if he was testing his boundaries, “that’s why I’m asking for your permission. Please, princess, let me touch you.”

you find yourself letting out a soft, nearly inaudible ‘okay,’ and within milliseconds the man has tilted your chin up with the pads of his fingers and thumb, his serious gaze boring into yours

“Are you sure?”

“I - yes, I’m sure, Minho. You were my hero today, and shouldn't heroes get a proper reward?”

you watch with red cheeks as his tongue darts out to wet his lips, now parted as he leans in closer and closer, until your noses are touching and his pink lips are grazing yours

“Princess, you are going to regret those words when I’m done with you tonight.”

                                         ✧

[askmyboys]

Noxis

Trigger Warnings: Mentions of Abuse, used for fighting, etc- Noxis was not treating too nicely

also whoops, i projected some shit onto him myself kldsdjfkslf lmao

sometimes angers, sadnesses, and traumas are projected o n t o the ocs

| Name: Maddox used to be his name but it was changed to Noxis

| Nickname: Nox

| Gender: Trans FTM (but he also uses It/Its pronouns too, those sound cool to him)

| Age: Definitely mid 20s somewhere (I’d say like 25 or 26 p much)

| Height: 6’3”

| Species/Race Anthropomorphic Dog (he’s pretty much a mutt)

| Fur Color/Body Type: His fur color is dark brown and he’s pretty skinny tbh

| Hair Color: His hairstyle is a mullet first n foremost and he’s dyed his hair a Emerald Green color

| Eye Color: Left eye is Prussian Blue and the right eye is a Dark Green color

| Appearance: He wears a black t-shirt first of all, some black ripped up and distressed looking skinny jeans with chains hanging down them, he also wears combat boots as well with dark green laces. He also wears a black spiked collar with a ring in the middle amongst all the spikes, he wears spiked bracelets on his wrists, his left ear is folded and his right ear is kinda half-pointing, he has some piercings in his ears, a piercing on his tongue, and an eyebrow piercing, likewise he’s got black claws (he used some nail polish and painted some claws dark green), his toe beans are an Emerald Green color as well with his middle ‘fingers’ essentially being that Prussian Blue coloring (wow going bold for the colors here ooo), his nose is also a dark green color as are the insides of his ears and his tongue as well, he’s also got razor sharp bear trap like teeth.

He’s got a few scars here and there, most can be VERY easily seen, others are pretty much not easily seen unless you get close to him, the most PROMINENT scarring are around his mouth, his face/head, nose, and a few more prominent looking scars are on his arms, legs, body, etc- he’s… Been through a LOT…  (also top surgery scars too don’t forget those- he’s also got a long bushy tail (he cut a hole in the back of his jeans for his tail to fit and move around a little bit)

| Personality: Oh b o y… This boy is VERY angry, aggressive, and practically almost feral at this point, he can still talk technically speaking but still, he’s very snippy/snarky, sarcastic as all hell, e d g y edgelord on our hands but eh there’s a reason for that even if it is not an excuse for him treating all humans like he does, speaking of those fuckin shitheads- he HATES humans absolutely DESPISES them, he won’t attack them or anyone unless they attack first, despite all the bark, he really is no bite… He doesn’t even LIKE fighting.

He doesn’t wanna hurt anyone really! ...He just wants to push people and others like him away because secretly? He’s fucking TERRIFIED of EVERYONE… He’s been hurt and betrayed by strangers before but what’s REALLY hurt him? He’s been betrayed and hurt and p much damaged SEVERELY by his own family! Those people were supposed to love him unconditionally! Those people were supposed to support him and take care of him! Not fucking abuse him, not fucking lie to him and tell him ‘everything’s going to be okay’ that ‘I’ve got your back’ and then turn around and hurt him so badly! Parents are supposed to care for you and love you unconditionally! He just wanted them to love him! He just wanted them to care, to be there for him!

(oops I put my own traumas, anger, etc onto my oc and I OOP-) anyways- He h a t e s his parents for how they’ve treated him, for how much they’ve betrayed him, for e v e r y t h i n g they’ve said and done to him, while they never PHYSICALLY abused him there was a lotta mental and verbal shit that happened, so now he tries to push everyone away so he doesn’t get hurt anymore, he wants to keep others away with anger, aggression, snarky and sarcastic remarks, he makes others think he’s just a straight up asshole but it’s to protect himself really, it’s all a defense mechanism in a way, deep down he just wants to stop the hurting, he wants to stop all the anger, the sadness, everything- He just wants to feel safe and happy, hell just OKAY in general! But, eh, he has a feeling its too late for all that now- might as well just keep up the act.

He’s also got a LOT of anxieties, depressive episodes, etc- Overall he’s just been through a LOT and I mean a LOT of shit-

| Side Facts: He usually stays in his home and keeps to himself, sometimes he’ll go out in order to get necessary items n shit like food/drinks, etc- But usually he’s at home, writing, playing video games, listening to music, or just- Watching random shit online, music, games, writing, videos- it takes his mind off a lot and can ease his stress immensely.

He owns a collection of various knives (is this just me in furry form? Lmao-) not for anything in particular but just because knives are fuckin cool- he is trying to learn witchcraft tbh because he finds that super cool, also wants to learn Irish Mythology and Greek Mythology a HELLA lot, he LOVES a good book from time to time, especially horror- like y e s please, he loves to watch horror movies too (...i sw e ar, im not projecting haaa)

Also, aside from putting my own traumas and feelings onto this boy, he IS his own character and he’s been through a LOT more than just parents- let me explain! So despite being a mutt/mixed breed/etc Noxis or Maddox more formerly known as was considered a VERY rare species, his colorings were unnatural compared to p much everyone in his area, they all had typical normal colorings, so of course people treated him weirdly as did others of his species, they essentially treated him like an outcast almost while others…

Well, people would pay a HIGH price for something like him… But I’m getting ahead of myself here, Noxis eventually ran away from home and that’s caused him to get into pretty bad situations, he’s been kidnapped a few times and sold as nothing more than a pet really or just something to look fancy in a home, basically a trophy/show-off item for the people in question, or in others cases he’s p much been captured and used for fighting because he looked like a tough breed who could hold his own, evidently this is where most of his scarring came from was from being put and used for fighting.

After all the fighting he eventually managed to escape from there and he honestly, while he does have a new home now VERY VERY far away from where all the bad shit, all the traumas, and of course he lives far away so his parents won’t ever find him, where nobody knows who he is or what, but he still doesn’t trust these people and shit either way- Like I said, he’s been through a L O T of shit, and it’s some pretty heavy stuff, likewise- Noxis fucking H A T E S being touched, anytime someone gets close to him you’ll definitely notice a flinch but he’s gonna hide it behind anger and aggression and just tell you to fuck off or something like that, now if someone raises a hand… That causes much more than just a flinch, his whole body language changes (the owners who d i d have him for a prize and the fighter dog owners ESPECIALLY weren’t kind or nice to him in the slightest soo yeah) say its a species like his own, another dog- if they bare their teeth that p much just brings back those flashbacks- while he usually runs away if they start charging him well he’s going to have to fight, despite hating confrontation and fighting he WON'T let himself be killed.

Noxis honestly definitely needs help, he needs someone to show him not EVERYONE is out to get him, that the world isn’t an ENTIRELY shitty place, he just needs someone to show him love, compassion, and understanding ...And a therapist, y-yeah- definitely needs a therapist, on the bright side at least he got his top surgery and bottom surgery! Hooray for trans doggo!! That’s a positive plus and a big fuck you to his parents and a lotta others, so there has been t h a t good around for him ...even though he didn’t trust humans and still doesn’t, I mean… He took a chance essentially, for all he knows they coulda dissected him ….eh- it’d be better than being owned as a prize or fighting mutt he supposed- either way, he’s pretty content with his body now so that’s a definite plus, i just didn’t want to end on a sour note!

[thewritenerd]

Victor and Adam: NaNoWriMo Day 12

‘Oh. Okay.’

Victor

The drive to his parents was a long one so Victor had booked a hotel somewhere halfway along the journey. That way they could leave a day early and stay the night before finishing the journey the next day, instead of having to leave at three in the morning so as to not arrive in the evening. They would then spend the night there before driving back home the next day. It had been a while since Victor had driven himself anywhere other than into town himself but he soon got the hang of things. Adam sat in the back the passenger seat in front of him pushed forward as far as it would go. He’d packed that green book and another poetry book he’d found in the library which he was now reading. He’d also brought his phone which he was using to listen to music. Victor could swear he could just make out a Patsy Cline song. The journey was a silent one and Victor had all but forgotten he wasn’t alone until Adam suddenly spoke and pointed out it was nearly half past two and they still hadn’t eaten. After a quick stop at a restaurant, there was no way he was going near a service station, and a trip to the mini supermarket across the road from Adam they set off again. Adam who had bought a couple of science magazines and some chocolate mints busied himself with more reading while Victor decided he might as well turn on the radio. At some point Adam spoke again. ‘I got two bottles of water in case you wanted some.’ He said holding out one of the bottles. ‘I’m fine.’ Victor dismissed him with a wave of his hand. ‘Okay. Well I’ll leave it here so you can help yourself when you need it.’ He said as he put the bottle into one of the cup holders between the driver and passenger seat. For a moment Victor wasn’t sure if he should say anything. But by the time he’d thought of something to say Adam had already slipped his headphones back on.

***

They got to the hotel a little later than planned. After checking into their rooms, Victor had decided to pay for Adam to have his own room as he didn’t feel like sharing his, Victor told Adam to order whatever he wanted from room service he was going to bed. Adam just said goodnight and disappeared into his room. It was only when he set it down did Victor realise he was holding the bottle of water Adam had given him.

***

After a quick breakfast of tea and buttered toast for Victor and a not quite so quick breakfast of honey and cinnamon pancakes and orange juice for Adam they paid their bill and left to finish their journey. Victor had made sure to have Igor pack some of Adam’s best informal clothes, though he didn’t have many options. He was wearing a light weight sky blue jumper and light grey jeans his trainers did sort of ruin the look but his only other pair of shoes were his school shoes which Igor was adamantly against the idea of him wearing them on a picnic. Victor had also insisted he get his hair cut before they left. Adam was reluctant to go to a salon but fortunately his friend Chelsea’s older sister was a hairdresser and was perfectly happy to come up to the castle and do it there. So now Adam’s hair which had grown just past his shoulders was now cut so you could see the back of his neck. His fringe also no longer resembled that of an old English sheepdog. Victor himself was dressed as he usually did when visiting his parents a grey shirt with brown chinos and a brown pair of shoes. When they arrived at the Frankenstein estate he saw that most guests had already arrived. ‘Victor you made it!’ he saw someone rushing to great him. ‘Hello Justine.’ He greeted his little sister with a wave. Justine was one of the Frankenstein’s two adopted daughters and certainly the more spirited of the two. Her eyes widened as she saw Adam climb out of the car. ‘Oh is this…’ she didn’t seem sure how to finish the sentence. ‘I’m Adam.’ Adam introduced himself holding out his hand. Wearily Justine took it. ‘Nice to meet you.’ She said looking him up and down. It wasn’t something you could do subtly as you had to tilt your head to get a look at his face but Adam seemed unfazed. ‘I like your hair.’ This brought a smile to Justine’s face. She had dyed the ends of her white blonde hair bright pink and was very proud of it. ‘My friend wants to dye ver hair like that but ver foster mum won’t let ver.’ ‘Oh that’s a pity. Still they won’t be living there forever.’ She then turned back to Victor. ‘Come on everyone’s ready so start eating, I was sent to see if you had arrived yet.’ Victor locked up the car before making his way down the side of the house with Adam close behind carrying his bag. ‘Victor darling. How lovely to see you.’ His mother cried rushing over and giving him a kiss on the cheek. ‘Hello mother.’ He said giving her a couple of pats on the back. He was very aware of everyone staring in his direction. No doubt at Adam. Adam was looking at his feet and clutching his bag so tightly his knuckles were white. ‘Adam aren’t you going to say hi?’ Victor asked. He didn’t want his parents thinking he hadn’t taught Adam any manners. ‘Hello. Adam said holding out his hand.’ ‘Hello.’ Victor’s mother said. Though she didn’t take his hand.’ Eventually Adam let his hand drop seeming unsure what to do with himself. ‘Where’s father?’ Victor asked. ‘I want to give him his present before everyone starts eating.’ ‘He’s over by the buffet table.’ His mother replied gesturing to a long table that had been set up the other end of the picnic blankets and chairs which had been spread out. ‘Oh and let me take that for you.’ She added taking the bowl of salad Igor had made for them to bring. Victor thanked her before heading in the direction she had gestured. He found his father sat in one of the chairs that usually sat in the conservatory. He was talking to Victor’s youngest sibling William who kept pointing at Adam. ‘Yes I know but you mustn’t point.’ He heard his father scold. William was eight, a late and unplanned addition to the family, and had a habit of asking a seemingly never-ending stream of questions. Though while many parents would be annoyed by his curious nature the Frankenstein’s encouraged it at every chance they got. ‘Hello father. Happy birthday.’ Victor said as he handed him his present. His father opened it and seemed delighted by the book and whiskey. ‘Well that’s my weekend sorted,’ he laughed. He looked up at Adam. ‘Oh but where are my manners? You must be Adam.’ Adam nodded. ‘Uhh Happy Birthday. I’ve got something for you too.’ He reached into his bag and pulled out what looked to Victor liked a mass of wrapping paper and Sellotape. ‘I tried to wrap it myself. I’m not very good at it.’ ‘Oh not to worry.’ Victor’s father laughed. ‘Practice makes perfect.’ He pulled of the wrapping to reveal what from the back looked like a picture frame. ‘Oh this is good? Where did you find this?’ ‘I drew it.’ Adam replied looking very pleased with himself. ‘You drew it? Well it’s very good. And you’ve labelled everything as well.’ Curious now Victor leaned forward to get a good look. In the frame was a drawing of a Plymouth Fury from the side that had been cut down the middle. There was also a cross section drawing from the front and of the engine. Each mechanical part was carefully labelled. He turned to look at Adam. ‘Is this why you haven’t been leaving your room?’ he asked. ‘One of them. The research took a long time. Most of the information I could find was on this old movie.’ ‘Well thank you very much.’ Victors father said. ‘Oh Lizzie dear could you take these and put them with the rest of my presents? Thank you.’ He handed the presents to Victors other adopted sister. ‘Now why don’t you sit down. There quickly before Justine nicks the only other chair.’ Victor sat in one of the remaining chairs. ‘Oh and please sit down Adam. Though I’m afraid if you want a chair yourself you’ll have to see if there are any more spare. This one’s reserved for my wife.’ Adam assured him that would be fine and sat himself down on the corner of the picnic blanket. William was staring at him wide eyed and for once speechless. ‘William dear, you can go and get your food now.’ Their mother said walking over to them Justine close behind. ‘I’m letting the children grab their food first then having everyone go up one blanket at a time.’ She explained. ‘We’ll be next.’ ‘Wait so does Adam count as a child?’ Justine asked. ‘I mean he’s… Wait how old are you?’ ‘Physically I’m sixteen. But I’ve only been alive for two years.’ ‘Yeah so if we’re counting anyone up to eighteen as a child Adam should go up with the rest.’ Adam shook his head. ‘I can wait.’ ‘Really? Well I’m eighteen so I’m technically still a child.’ With that she left. ‘She wasn’t a child yesterday when she got that piercing behind my back.’ Their mother grumbled. Once everyone had their food they settled down and began eating. Victors mother kept wearily eyeing Adam and insisted William sit beside her. Adam sat between Justine and Victor and seemed to hunch up more and more as time went on under her gaze. He picked his food apart before even starting to eat any of it, something Victor had noticed was a nervous habit.

[decembercamiecherries]

Chapter 3 title: You make the darkness less dark

Chapter 3 word count: 2941

Summary:

They’re together, but not alone, and that’s all that really matters.

I'm sorry that this chapter is a little late, I just moved into my new dorm room for the school year and the semester already started off with a bang if you know what I mean. The next chapter will be out on time, though! Can’t Pretend is my song rec for chapter 3 ^-^ 

Bless @softkillua for beta-ing this and everything else I write. He truly is amazing ^^ Thank you again also for the support for this fic! I hope you all enjoy this chapter~

Zeus’ Cabin is bigger than Poseidon's, but just as empty. Just as cold.

Gon and Killua shove and push two of the beds together in the center room, right underneath the multi-colored ceiling of kaleidoscope mosaics. They watch the tiled clouds and sunbeams above their heads give way to splashes of stars and slivers of moonlight, and Gon feels like he’s floating in space with only Killua’s quiet breathing to keep him company.

“I’m not the son of Hades.” Killua’s voice shakes as he speaks. He sounds too small and too quiet, so different than the snappish boy Gon met in that first capture-the-flag game. “I’m not, Gon. I swear.”

Gon squeezes his friend’s trembling fist on top of cool, creamy sheets. “I know.”

“I’m not cursed, either. That- all that stuff, with the lightning and the monsters and the snake...none of it was my fault, Gon. I was trying to stop the monsters from breaking through the barrier that day, and those guys were teasing the snake on purpose. Of course it striked back. And that first day at camp was an accident. I never meant to- to hurt anyone. I never wanted that.”

“I know,” Gon repeated, sure and firm.

A scoff. “How?! How can you possibly know that? You’ve barely been here two months, you can’t just-”

“Because I know you, Killua,” Gon says simply. He turns his head sideways to meet Killua’s wide, blue gaze. “And you wouldn’t lie about that sort of thing.”

Killua visibly swallows. “You're naive.”

“Maybe. But not when it comes to stuff like this. You’re my friend, Killua, so I trust you.”

Killua buries his face into the pillow, right next to Gon’s ear, and Gon feels more than hears his shuddered inhale-exhale. Gon rubs his thumb over one of Killua’s bony knuckles, waits for Killua’s breathing to slow. Somewhere off in another room, lightning flashes and thunder echoes.

“Zeus is my heritage,” Killua whispers a few dozen heartbeats later. “But he’s not my father.”

Gon’s brow puckers at that. “What do you mean?”

Killua raises his head and starlight bangs fall into piercing azure eyes. “I’m adopted. I have a mother, a father, siblings...even a grandfather. And maybe a great-grandmother, but I’m still not sure if she’s a lie my older brother made up or not.”

Surprise washes over Gon like a wave. He’s never heard of any other Camp-Half Blood resident with two parents, before. Let alone an entire family! He only had Aunt Mito and one grandmother, but they had always meant everything to him.

“Where are they?” he asks, because he knows why he left his family but not why Killua left his.

Killua drops his gaze to the pillow. He murmurs while tracing shadows into the cotton with his free hand, “They’re still alive, if that’s what you mean.”

It wasn’t, but that answer is more telling than anything else Killua could have said.

“My parents are demigods, like you and me,” Killua explains. “They...collect other demigods who’ve been abandoned by their biological family. Or, that’s what they claim at least. I’m not sure I believe them anymore.”

“So,” Gon says as his mind tosses and turns. He doesn’t understand what Killua is trying to tell him so he keeps talking, hopes Killua will guide him through it like he does with ancient greek poetry and history and math. “You’re not related to your mother and father? Or any of your siblings?”

Killua shakes his head. “No. Well, I mean, my dad and grandpa are both sons of Zeus so I’m technically related to them. Distantly. But my brothers all have different godly parents. Illumi’s the son of  Hypnos, Kalluto’s the son of Hermes...Mom and Dad try to get a range when it comes to adopting kids. The more different we are from each other, the more powerful our family becomes.”

“They use you,” Gon realizes as ice sizes his heart.

Killua nods. “The Zoldycks adopt demigods to raise as their own, to increase their influence. They don’t take us in because they love us or want to help us. They’re only interested in our raw godly abilities, and how they can sculpt it to benefit themselves.”

Killua glances up at the changing ceiling, face blank and stony and empty, and something deep in Gon’s chest aches at the sight.

“The Zoldycks are bad people, Gon,” Killua says. “So I left before they had the chance to use my abilities for themselves. And I’m never, ever going back.”

“Can I ask you something?”

Killua laughs under his breath, like Gon’s just told a funny joke, and tightens the straps at Gon’s shoulders until it fits snugly against his shirt. “Why’re you asking me that for? You always do, anyway.”

Gon thinks that’s a bit unfair. “That’s only because I know you don’t mind answering them.”

“Oh, and you know that because you know me soooo well, huh?”

“I do!”

Killua raises a bemused eyebrow. “We’ve known each other for two months, Gon. That’s not enough time to know someone-”

“It definitely is!” Gon argues. “Time doesn’t determine a relationship, Ki-llu-a.”

Killua folds his arms over his chest- gracefully, because everything Killua does is smooth and fluid and dance-like, and Gon can never tell if it’s on purpose or if that’s just Killua- and says, “Okay. I’ll take the bait. What determines a’ relationship’ in your oh-so-wise opinion, son of Poseidon?”

Gon doesn’t pause to think before he’s blurting out, “Connection.”

Killua blinks, clearly not expecting Gon’s words. “Connection?”

Gon bobs his head. “Yeah. Connection. You can meet someone and be friends in minutes, as long as the connection’s there. But you can also know someone else for years, and if you have nothing that connects you, you won’t care about each other at all!”

Killua nods slowly. Gon can see his friend’s thoughts clicking together like puzzle pieces behind beautiful, transparent blue eyes as he says, “I...guess I can get that.”

“See! It makes sense!”

“In a mixed up way, yeah, it does. And you’re trying to say that- that you and me, we have that? A connection?”

Killua’s cheeks are dusted pink and Gon’s heart does a strange little flip. His skin tingles as he hums happily, “Mhm! Definitely! We became friends right away, didn’t we?”

Killua ducks his head, blocking his red face from Gon’s view. “I-I guess. A-Anyway-” Killua is suddenly shoving Gon’s arms up and out of the way so he can adjust the buckles along his ribs, “-what was it you were going to ask me? You had something you wanted to say but then you got sidetracked.”

“Hey!” Gon protests with a pout. “You were the one who me distracted, Killua!”

There’s a smile tucked away in the lilt of Killua’s voice as he says, “You keep telling yourself that.”

“Killua-”

“Your question, Gon.”

Oh. Right.

“Well, I was just wondering,” Gon starts and Killua looks up at him through moonbeam lashes. “What did your family do to you that made you want to leave? You said the other night that they used you.”

Killua hands freeze on Gon’s armor. He doesn’t say anything for several seconds and worry twists Gon’s stomach into knots.

“Killua?” Gon starts, hesitant. “Are you-”

“Gon,” Killua interrupts and his voice is strained. “I...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

He doesn’t understand. “Why not?”

“My childhood wasn’t exactly pretty, Gon. It wasn’t like yours with the sun and the sand and the waves. Mine was much...darker. Lonelier. Are you sure you want to hear all of that?”

There’s no hesitance in his answer: “Yes.”

Gon wants to know everything about Killua. All of his good parts and bad...everything that makes Killua Killua. He wants to know it all.

He wants to prove to Killua that he can see every part of his best friend, and still be at his side at the end of it all.

Killua finally straightens. There’s a look of resignation in the downward curve of his lips when he says, “You’re not going to let this go until I tell you, huh?”

“Nope!” Gon says and makes a popping sound with the last syllable.  

Killua lets out a long breath, pushes his hand through silver bangs. “Okay. I’ll tell you, then. After we finish this practice match and take a shower.”

Gon’s mouth falls open. “Wha- Killua! That’s not-”

“Yes, Gon, it is fair. This is the last thing we have to do before the weekend, right? Once we’re done, I can tell you everything without being interrupted.”

Ah, Gon thinks and his heart flutters again. There it was: their connection. Killua knew Gon well enough to know he wouldn’t stop asking Killua questions once they got started. He was making Gon wait now, so he wouldn’t have to later.

“I’ll make sure to defeat you quickly, then,” Gon says and Killua’s eyes flash dangerously.

“I wouldn’t be so sure if I were you, Freecss.” Killua steps back and slides his metal sword out of his holder. He swishes it through the air expertly-gracefully- and Gon’s chest swells.

“After all,” Killua continues smoothly. “You’ve yet to beat me in combat once this entire summer.”

Gon smiles. “Maybe. But-” and here he smiles, a dare in the curve of his grin and Killua’s eyes are so bright and so incredibly blue, they draw Gon closer like the moon pulls the sea-

“-I’m a quick study. And I never back down from a challenge.”

Gon beats Killua, but it takes an hour and a half and costs him several bruises, three broken fingers and a black eye.

Killua’s a bit better off, but not by much. They’d gone all out and Mister Wing only gives them the magically-healing Ambrosia after making them swear not to fight again without a proper chaperone.

Gon’s Ambrosia tastes like orange juice and Aunt Mito’s cooking and his grandmother’s cookies. It’s also strangely sweet, like syrup or chocolate. He doesn’t understand why it tastes like that, exactly- Ambrosia is supposed to taste like your favorite food but Gon’s never been a fan of anything overly sweet before-

But Killua is fulfilling his promise, talking about a cold home with butlers and monstrous dogs and a family legacy he left behind, so Gon quietly listens and pushes the strange flavor to the back of his mind.

The first thing he learns is this: that Killua was right, his childhood was nothing like Gon’s.

Killua’s childhood is scattered with various tests and experiments to reveal which of Zues’ powers were reflected in him. His ivory skin is dotted with scars from whips and burns from electricity. His body is only as flexible as it is now from years upon years of stretching and pulling and pushing his muscles until he was too weak to even walk.

Killua is no stranger to pain, but learned to isolate himself from it, how work around it, and keep going even when his body was broken and bruised. He stopped crying from pain so long ago he can’t remember the last time he shed tears and they were real.

He was three when his parents named him heir to a family name he would grow to hate.

He was six when he successfully completed the mission to steal Zeus’ lightning bolt from under the God’s nose.

He was eight when he finally decided he’d had enough, and had just turned ten by the time he packed his bags, fought his mother and brother to escape his home, and never looked back.

He was eleven when the nightmares started.

“Killua!” Gon pins down pale, thin wrists as Killua thrashes in his bed. He keeps trying to twist his way out of Gon’s grip but Gon holds on tight and won’t let go. If he does, Killua will keep tossing and turning; he will end up hurting himself somehow, Gon just knows it. “Killua! Killua, wake up, please, please, Killua-!”

“NO!!!” Killua jolts into consciousness with a heaving gasp. His eyes are hazy, unfocused. They flicker back and forth- across the ceiling, from wall to wall. He’s seeing things Gon can’t see. There are demons in his mind Gon can’t touch, and it makes his heart fracture like glass.

“Killua,” he whispers, voice cracking on the single word. Some of the light filters back into Killua’s gaze at the sound and Gon nearly cries when he finally focusses on Gon’s face.

Killua slumps back into cool sheets with a shuddering breath. “Gon,” he sighs, more air than sound.

Gon’s eyes prickle and burn. “Killua,” he says, just as soft, just as quiet.

For a long minute, they just stare at each other. Gon is crouched over Killua, his hands pressing Killua’s arms to the mattress on either side of his silver locks. Killua looks up at him with dark circles under his eyes and skin so white he looks like a porcelain doll.  

“Are you okay?” Gon forces himself to ask even though his throat is tight and his heart quivers.

Killua squeezes his eyes shut. “No.”

“Was it...did you have nightmares, again?”

Killua nods, starlight curls shifting around his head into some sort of uneven halo, and Gon feels a sharp pang straight through his chest.

The nightmares were a natural part of Killua’s life, Killua had told him. They started nearly a year after he escaped to Camp-Half Blood; at least once a month he would wake up in cold sweat, shivers cascading down his spine and a blinding headache just above his eyes.

He still suffered from them for years later. But they’re even worse now, in both intensity and occurrence. They’d gotten so bad in recent weeks that Killua almost avoided sleeping altogether. He’d actually fallen asleep on Gon while they were standing guard during the last capture-the-flag game and that was when Gon decided:

Killua would stay with him, from now on. In Poseidon’s Cabin. There he could calm Killua down when he woke up screaming in the middle of the night; he could help convince him that his dreams were just dreams, that they weren’t real.

But he never imagined they would be this bad.

Gon swallows thickly. There’s a lump in his throat and worry gnaws at him from the inside out. He feels like bugs are crawling across his skin, a prickling sensation at the back of his neck like someone is watching him.

But there’s no one here. It’s just him and Killua on Gon’s too-big bed with the low rumbling of waves drifting in through the open windows. They’re together, but not alone, and that’s all that really matters.

“Killua,” Gon whispers again, to distract himself. Midnight blue eyes flutter open and lock on Gon’s brown-gold. He looks exhausted and worn out. Gon’s never seen Killua this pale before and it makes his chest tighten until he can barely breathe.

Killua’s fingers uncurl from their fists. He murmurs, “I’m sorry, Gon.”

Gon blinks. “What for?”

Killua turns his head to the side, towards the window. “For...this. For keeping you up. For bothering you.”

“Killua.” Gon slides his hands up and into Killua’s. He interlocks their fingers- alabaster white standing out in stark contrast to bronze tan- and squeezes once. “You don’t have to apologize for something like that. I want to help you; you’re not bothering me at all.”

Killua stiffens at Gon’s unexpected touch. He swallows thickly, and it’s only because Gon is watching him so closely that he notices the faint blush dusting his friend’s cheeks.

“But-” Killua starts.

“No buts!” Gon says firmly and Killua’s mouth shuts with a click. “You’re my friend, Killua! My best friend! You could never be a burden. If I was the one suffering from nightmares, wouldn’t you do the same thing for me?”

“...yes. Of course I would.”

Gon beams. “See? It’s okay, Killua. I’m gonna be here for you no matter what. That’s what best friends do!”

Killua finally looks up at Gon again. There’s a raw, shining emotion in his blue gaze when he croaks out, “Is that what we are? Best friends?”

“Of course we are,” Gon responds immediately. “You’re- Killua, you make me happy! Really, really, really happy! I love spending time with you. Don’t you like spending time with me?”

Warmth blossoms in Gon’s heart as Killua’s fingers curl around his. “Y-Yeah. I do.”

“Then that’s all that matters! How could we not be best friends?”

Killua’s lips quiver. There’s a sharp tug at his hands and Gon suddenly finds himself crushed to Killua’s chest. Gon automatically wraps his arms around Killua’s waist, a happy sigh escaping from his lips and nuzzles against Killua’s shoulder.

Killua’s hands are cool and smooth on Gon’s shoulder blades, but Gon is warm in his best friend’s embrace. Killua smells like strawberries and chocolate, like the salty breeze rolling off the waves just beyond Poseidon's Cabin. He smells and feels like home, and Gon wishes he could stay in Killua’s arms forever.

“Thank you,” Killua whispers into Gon’s hair. It’s quiet but heartfelt and Gon smiles into the curve of Killua’s neck.

“Anything for you, Killua.”

Weeks pass before Killua tells Gon what he dreams of, what exactly it is that terrifies him.

In his dreams he’s chained and drowning in an inky pool, a swirling black hole of darkness without light or stars. He dreams of needles and an empty voice and flat eyes and oily-black strings of hair-

He dreams of lightning exploding from his chest, spreading through his veins and cracking across his skin-

Shattering his body and soul in a single spark.

[5hfanfiction]

Galaxies- Chapter 4 (Stars)

The chilly spring breeze pierced through Lauren’s thin coat, as she dragged her feet down the streets of Paris fashioning a small backpack. It was a few hours since she had gotten off the train station and was walking endlessly admiring the beautiful place she had once dreamt of going to. It was indeed the city of romance, with most people she had passed by were tourist couples walking hand in hand.

She was walking for hours, yet again, with no destination in mind, lost in an unfamiliar city. She had enjoyed the calming sound of the river, children’s laughter in parks, the old lady spending her Friday afternoon feeding pigeons, and the narrow streets that had reminded her of Tribeca — sure it wasn’t a home to her, but there’s something about the streets of New York that she undoubtedly missed, maybe it was her morning runs, or the coffee shop she had frequented in 8 in the morning, and if there is something that really differentiated her from her old self is her religious routines.

It was the first time in that she would skip her Friday night routine with her best friend; it would’ve been another night of endless talking about their tiring week at their respective jobs. Normani would usually boast about the progress their team had made on the unsolved murder cases, and Lauren would always complain about the men at her work. But despite of it being just the two of them, she had loved Friday’s, to her Normani was home; and being alone on a Friday night in an unfamiliar city, without her best friend by her side caused her situation to be more frustrating.

It was two days since Lauren’s little outburst in London, two days since she had not interacted with Camila. After walking out from the university theatre, Lauren managed to pack just enough clothes for two days before Camila had gotten back to their shared hotel room, she had checked in a different hotel and informed Lisa that she was staying with a friend in the city, but the truth was she just can’t face the girl who had broken her heart.

Lauren had done another talk the next day and was relieved she had done it alone as it was a talk with law student at one of the universities in London; it was more of a technical talk and the students were more aggressive on asking questions, but it was better because none of them asked personal questions and despite of all the questions being about international law, criminal law and charter laws — she was able to answer them effortlessly. The following day, they were bound to venture to the city of love, Paris, leaving the great City of London.

Lauren was designated to share a ride with Camila on a private transportation, but she had managed to pull up another excuse to stay a few hours longer than the group and opting to commute alone. She had arrived in France in a separate train, but her luggage was already brought to their shared hotel room. She knew she couldn’t really avoid Camila, but she needed every possible chance she could get to avoid her.

Lauren had found herself sitting outside a coffee shop in one on the many narrow alleys of the romantic city. The smell of fresh coffee and Croissant did in fact lured her into taking a small break from her endless straddle, leaving her enjoying a mouth-watering baked delicacy, as the subtle luminescence of the moon had overtaken the bright warm light of the sun.

Space is defined as many things, it can be limited as the area or distance between two objects, or it can be the limitless black area you see when you look up at night hoping to find answers in the countless stars, alone in the city love, France. The dark space had loomed in to Lauren’s consciousness, bringing yet again memories from the past.

“Babe…” Lauren whispered as she lied on her back with her girlfriend’s head comfortably nestled on her heaving chest as both of them admired the beautiful night sky filled with countless of stars. It was their routine, even before they started dating; star gazing in the oak tree house Lauren and her dad had built when Lauren was 8 years old. Lauren was her daddy’s little princess, and princesses needs castles. So her dad had set up the perfect little castle for her, with a bed and a little TV, and a perfect little window on the roof of the tree house overlooking the wonderful sky.

“Yeah, babe?” Lauren’s heart was beating fast, and was indeed skipping beats by beats as she was not yet used to the fact, that the girl of her dreams was now hers, calling her pet names. Lauren was sure that Camila can feel her erratic heartbeats, and she swear she wouldn’t get used to it, because every day she would still feel lucky to have the girl she loved perfectly wrapped in her arms.

“Uhmm..” Lauren mumbled, cautious about the next words that would come out of her mouth, as she was indeed hesitant and scared about the answer to the question she was about to ask “Do you think we could tell your parent’s someday?” Lauren’s voice suddenly felt vulnerable, as she was scared of the answer that would come out from her girlfriend’s mouth.

It was 6 months since the day Camila asked her to be hers, and they were still hiding from the younger girl’s parents. Camila’s parents were very religious and conservative and would probably kill Camila if they knew she was dating a girl, let alone a girl that had slept on under their roof countless of times.

Camila felt Lauren’s vulnerability, she felt the hurt on her girlfriends voice leading her to slowly prop herself up releasing herself from her girlfriend’s hold, she then slowly hovered above Lauren, looking intently at her eyes, making sure the words that she was about to say would somehow reassure the older girl. “We talked about this baby,” she said brushing Lauren’s cheeks with her thumb “One day, after college, we’ll tell them,” Kissing Lauren’s nose “and probably get married by then, and then they can’t do anything about it.” Camila added chuckling.

Lauren smiled on her girlfriends answer, it was not something she wanted to hear, but she had understood her girlfriend’s sentiment. She had thought about it too, and it’s best to keep it a secret because they both knew what will happen when Camila’s parents would find out; they might send her away or even forbid them from seeing each other. They still had one year of high school left and they both wanted to spend it together, who knows what would happen after graduation, they might end up in different states.

“I love you, so much that I can’t imagine not having been able to spend days like this with you.” Lauren said looking at her girlfriend like she was the only girl in the world. “Do you think we could go to Paris one day?” she added causing Camila to chuckle again.

“You are so random sometimes, Lo,” she smiled and let her head rest on Lauren’s chest again. Lauren immediately wrapped her arms around Camila, causing the younger girl to move closely to her. “Of course, we could also travel to South America, maybe go to Cuba and visit my uncle.”

“That would be great; travelling the the world with you would be the dream”, Lauren felt countless of emotions just thinking about spending her future with the girl in her arms. The countless adventures they would probably end up having, because both of them were really down for anything that was indeed one of the thousand things they had in common.

“And oh, we can go to Asia too, I’ve always wanted to go to Japan! And Thailand, and maybe the Philippines too, I heard they have 7,000 islands there and I know how much you love to swim even though you could burn under the sun with that pale complexion of yours.” The younger girl joked, earning a playful slap from Lauren.

“You asshole,” Lauren scoffed, feigning offense “I was being sweet here, that would earn you 2 days without kisses.” She added, trying to remove her hold her hold from her girlfriend.

“I was just kidding babe! Common,” Camila said sweetly, holding on the Lauren tighter, and her head was more secured under the older girl’s underarm.

“Uhggg, fine you should be thankful you have those plump lips!” Lauren sighed in defeat and was caught off guard when a pair of that lips she had just complemented crashed on her own. Yes it was just a peck, as the younger girl managed to pull back as fast as she had leaned in, but Lauren indeed felt the different approach her girlfriend gave, she felt as she was a slice of pizza waiting to be devoured by a pact of hungry teenage boys.

Lauren was just too startled as that sudden kiss blew her mind away, she failed to notice that her girlfriend was on top of her positioned in between her legs, she had felt her whole body melt as she looked at her girlfriend’s eyes, it confirmed her hunch, she indeed saw hunger in those once innocent brown eyes that gave her reassuring warmth and comfort, it was lust and in fact sent a throbbing ache in between her thighs.

“Lo, I think I’m ready,” Camila said with her voice deeper and huskier sending shivers all throughout Lauren’s body; she had to admit she had never seen her girlfriend that sexy, and it made her crave more from her girlfriend.

“Ready for what?”, she said with a crack in her voice, as she tried with all her might to act innocent and flustered, but the blush on her cheeks gave it all away. She damn well knew what her girlfriend was talking about; it was something they hadn’t done yet. They had plenty of time for the past 6 months to have done it, because Lauren was always left alone in their huge mansion. Having both her parents as head surgeons at Miami’s top hospital; her parent’s practically lived at the hospital. But despite everything, they had never missed important events in their children’s lives, they were great parents. Well of course her brother, Adam, was there too. But the boy was always at his own little world, playing tons of video games, and yes they had two Maids but Lauren was indeed thankful because they had always minded their own business, making Camila and Lauren’s time together on the Jauregui’s property unsupervised.

“To make you show me how much you love me,” and there it was the confirmation that Lauren was longing for, it made her body ache for affection and touch as the lustful eyes of her girlfriend possessed, she longed to be touched in places her girlfriend never bothered to explore, and she was also in fact craving to explore every inch of her girlfriend’s beautifully tanned body “but only if you’re ready to let me show you how much I love you too.��

And in that instant Lauren’s girlfriend’s plump lips had met her own, the initial contact was overwhelming, as both of them seethed passion, it was hard and intense yet passionate and full of love. They had undoubtedly kissed possibly a thousand times since the first one they had shared, but that time was different, the fervent and lustful moulding of their lips. Both their chests where heaving, as Lauren had sat up on the bed with Camila straddling her lap. Lauren pulled back gently from the kiss, both of them gasping for air as their foreheads where still touching. Lauren’s body couldn’t take the longing anymore, all the love she had felt for the girl who’s eyes where boring into hers, and that night she knew it would be memorable. As two words that came out from her mouth,

“Show me.”

Lauren was awakened from another trip to memory lane by a heavy hand carefully tapping her shoulder, the sudden gesture caused Lauren to turn her head resulting in her green eyes to find the culprit’s blue one’s, she had immediately recognized it belonging to the kind French waiter who had been nice to her checking on her from time to time.

His brown ruffled hair poking on his face and his gleaming eyes and sweet smile that showed off his crooked, yet it was perfect enough to sweep any girl off her feet; but Lauren wasn’t any other normal girl that in fact she was sure she doesn’t swing for his team.

She had noticed the young man was careful around her, as he laid her bill on her table and with his words was almost hard to decode with his French accent, but Lauren knew the blue eyed waiter was telling her that they were already closing.

She politely smiled at the man she was sure was intently staring with lustful eyes when she reached for wallet on her backpack. She also had managed to get a hold of her phone and was startled when she saw it was already past eleven P.M. Looking at her surroundings, she had noticed that she and the charming waiter was the only one remaining at the small café, and it led her to scramble paying the check and leaving a huge tip. She wasn’t in a hurry, at all, but she was afraid that she had overstayed her welcome.

She gathered her things after asking the blue eyed waiter for directions towards the hotel she was dreading to go to, of course he had offered to walk her there, but she politely declined and thanked him leaving the poor young man to be heartbroken.

Paris did, in fact meet its high expectations, aside from it being the city of romance; it was indeed the city of lights. If it was beautiful in the day light, it was in fact astonishing at night. The street lamps had made brought up the magnificent architecture of the cobblestones and the old asphalt houses. The fact that it was almost midnight and Lauren had still passed by laughing strangers, and music and the streets was still alive, she didn’t know if it was just because it was a Friday night, or it nights was always fun in Paris. But nonetheless, it made her less anxious, almost forgetting the dreaded meeting.

Her mindless strolling had unfortunately come to a halt when she found herself staring at the entrance of the hotel, awestricken. The building was old yet sophisticated, even in the dark of the night she could see flowers and grass dangling on the walls of the building. But despite the fact it was indeed aesthetically pleasing, she felt sick at the thought of it being a romantic hotel where couples would go on honeymoons, and she cringed at the thought that she was sharing it with her ex.

She sighed and groaned in defeat as she entered the building, the interior was a true haven, it brought up a sense of home and indeed she felt a wonderful sense of place, it was elegant and contemporary. The walls were filled with antique paintings that she had admired but then again it reminded her of one of the conversations she had with Camila.

She had remembered exchanging pictures of hotel’s and places to from all over the world, places that they wanted to travel to together, and they both even created their own little scrap book with the places they had travelled to and places they would travel to in the future.

Thinking about it made Lauren’s heart feel heavy; she had hated how the girl can still manage to infiltrate her thoughts, the girl that was possibly long over her. Lauren just wanted the crash of memories and the emotions to stop. It was already seven years, she had seven years to move on, but why does it feel like time never healed her broken heart?

She found herself on an old elevator after checking in on the hotel desk, she hesitantly pushed the lit up number 6 button causing the elevator to slowly travel up, as soon as it opened, Lauren’s heart begun to pound stronger and faster on her chest, like in any moment it would just jump off her body and leave her dead on the floor. But she thought about it, and she thought dying from a hear attach was better than seeing her. She slowly dragged her feet, still killing every amount of time; she just hoped that the younger girl was asleep.

She again, released a deep breath, before slowly turning the door knob and pushing the door open, as soon as she entered the confines of the dreaded room, she heard mumbling, she can’t really make out the words, but she knew immediately it was Camila.

She tried her best to be quiet, as her movements were still and calculated, she had closed the door gently, without making a single noise, not even bothering to remove her shoes, and she tiptoed towards the room and eyed a small room just a few steps from her, it was probably a shared bathroom. An Idea had popped in her head, she planned on taking a long shower first just to kill time, and probably when she’s done, the younger girl would be fast asleep.

But as soon as she sauntered further into the room, she had now distinguished the mumbling to words, and her heart immediately pounded ferociously on her chest as she heard Camila’s deep and husky voice, she knew that tone, after knowing the girl for 14 years, she knew it was hurt and anger. Camila was vulnerable, and she seemed to be on the phone with someone.

Lauren couldn’t move, as she was too afraid of making any noise, she stood there unintentionally hearing the conversation.

“I want to talk to Laurelai…….Please, just put her on the phone,” she heard pleading on Camila’s voice, yes Lauren hated her, but hearing her ex-lover hurt, she just couldn’t stop herself from feeling sorry for her, she wanted to hold her again. Hold her and tell her everything would be alright. There’s just something about Camila, she was her kryptonite.

“No… you can’t do that!…No.. Martin, please!… Hello? Martin?! Martin!…. Fuck!! Fuck! Fuck!!”

Lauren heard a loud tump, and she immediately felt her heart tighten. She did not mean to eavesdrop, but after hearing how upset Camila was, she just froze. It was just her protective side, she did not move an inch, and her body just couldn’t as she was too afraid of making any sound.

Her senses did not help her out as everything happened too fast, she heard loud stomps heading towards her direction until she was now met with a fuming Camila with her hand on her chest.

“Jesus, Lauren!” Camila husked startled at the Lauren’s presence. “How long have you been standing there?”

“uhhhh, I just got here.” she said, trying so hard to hide her flustered state, she was indeed embarrassed, because she was not the type of person to listen to other’s conversation.

“How much have you heard?” Camila said with firmness in her voice, based on the conversation Lauren just heard, Camila was in no mood to play nice, and she knew how Camila when she was upset and if her assumptions were still correct, she wouldn’t want to be the receiving end of Camila’s rage.

“Excuse me?” Lauren said trying to keep her demeanour intact, she too was in no mood to play nice, she had was exhausted, and her emotions were all over the place.

“I know you’ve heard something Lauren, how much have you heard?” Camila said, now racing her voice. Lauren felt the younger girl growing impatient as the girl’s arms was now crossed on her chest. She still hadn’t changed, Lauren thought.

“I don’t know where you are going with this, Camila.” She said with her eyes trying to convey sincerity “But I really just got here.” She said calmly, she didn’t want to add to Camila’s frustration, she wasn’t a bad person and even though she wanted to bicker with her, she didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.

“Whatever.” Camila scoffed, uncrossing her arms as she walk towards Lauren’s direction rolling her eyes. “Excuse me.” She exclaimed, as she bumped Lauren’s shoulder with her own, causing Lauren to take a step back. She was physically fit, but the sudden hard contact caught Lauren off guard. Lauren was done playing nice.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” she shouted, yanking Camila’s arm, causing the younger girl to face her again.

“You are my problem! Clearly you enjoy listening to other people’s conversations and you don’t even have the guts to admit it!” Camila spat, her eyes brimming with anger, she wasn’t really mad at Lauren, Lauren was just her mere object of displacement.

“What?! So you’re accusing me of lying?! Is that it?!”Lauren shouted with all the mixed emotions, her chest was heaving, her knuckles turned white, her nose was fuming — the hurt, the confusion, the overwhelming memories now turned into anger. Lauren had noticed the change in Camila’s eyes, it screamed pain and fright, but Lauren didn’t care. Her own warm green loving eyes had turned into grey ice, cold as now her steel heart. Camila never saw her like that, in all the years they had been together, even in their fights as a couple, Lauren’s eyes were still warm and loving, but that moment proved that Lauren did in fact, change.

“No. I’m ju—”

“Listen, Camila. I don’t even give a shit about you to fucking listen to your conversations.” She spat, interjecting Camila. “What gives you the right to shout at me?! Haven’t you done enough?! After seven fucking years, Camila! You left me without even leaving a fucking note! You just left, left and I had nothing, you left me with nothing and I had moved on, after you ruined everything I had moved on, and you show up here and shout at me like I have done something so wrong to deserve your attitude.” she shouted every word, she didn’t know what came into her to bring up the past so sudden, but something within her broke, she just couldn’t keep it anymore. She needed to tell her how she felt, she haven’t even noticed that the younger girl was already shedding tears “and if anyone who deserves to be shouted at, it’s you Camila!”

“Laur—“

“No!” Lauren spat again, as she saw tears continued to run down Camila’s face, but Lauren didn’t care. She just wanted to hurt the younger girl with her words; she wanted to make her feel how she had felt. “You can’t justify what you’ve done, Camila! You had seven years to reach out, seven years you just threw away years of friendship! I was your best friend before anything Camila.” the last words she had uttered left a bitter taste on her lips, instead of shouting it out, her anger had turn into complete hurt and she had tried to stop her own tears to fall down, she tried to swallow the hurt that was building in her throat.

“I can’t do this now.” Camila finally said, with hurt in her voice turning her back on Lauren and walked towards the door to exit the room.

“Yeah, that’s what you are good at walking out on people.” Lauren mumbled causing Camila to stop in her tracks. “You never did change, I’m so glad you had left me that day, or else I would’ve been married to a fucking coward.”

“I’m really sorry, Lauren.” Camila said sincerely with her back stilled turned away from Lauren, she continued walking finally reaching the door.

“I’m not, if you want to get out, just go.” Lauren said, before hearing the door shot. Camila had walked out again, and this time Lauren wished she would never come back.

A/N

Hi guys, sorry it took me two weeks to update, I got busy with work and training. Lol I hope this chapter doesn’t suck, I still can’t proof read and probably ask a friend to do it in the future. 

I really appreciate constructive criticisms! :))) Wattpad link here

Thank you!!

-N

[venteamocha]

Obligatory question post

This is gonna be long as hell, sorry in advance. orz

(I haven’t finished the game yet, just fyi, on the Hunting the Archon quest right now)

The basics! Whats their full name, gender, and sexuality? Describe their general appearance and/or include a picture. Is there anything you canon beyond what the game allows? 

Althea “Thea” Marie Ryder. Cisgender Female. Bisexual. Picture at the top of the post.

Beyond the game - She has a small amount of chub that she can’t get rid of no matter how in shape she gets and has begrudgingly learned to accept it.

Can’t always wear Initiative whites and blues, Whats their dress style like? Do they prefer casual wear, or being in armor? Is it the same as it was in the Milky Way? How, if applicable, has it changed since arriving in Helius?

She loves cool and dark colors, like navy and deep purple and black and dark gray and forest green. She prefers casual wear, and lives in jeans and hoodies. Occasionally skirts and drapey shirts. Heck, she went to meet the Angara while in her favorite hoodie (she wore it for luck). Yeah, it’s the same as in the Milky Way.

Do they have piercings, tattoos, or notable scars? Do they dye their hair, or is it a gene mod?

She has a belly piercing and a celtic knot between her shoulder blades towards her midback. She dyes her hair in random colors depending on her mood, and decided to make it white before she went into cryo, as a sort of clean slate type thing. She’s lazy about it and lets it grow out an inch or so before she redyes because her hair grows very fast. And is very thick and bushy. Which is also why she generally keeps it short.

Beyond the game - I’d change her hair color every so often if I could, since she’d redye it for various events and also just because.

What’s their personality like? How do they feel about being Pathfinder? How do they change, if at all, over the course of the story?

She’s a bit flippant and sarcastic, but mostly she’s a sweetheart. Sometimes inept, occasionally says something idiotic and offensive, but rarely on purpose. Seriously, she cares a lot. Doesn’t matter if she knows you or not, if you like her or not, if you need help and there’s a way she can help you, she’ll do it.

However, her biggest problem is that while she is more than willing to share her happiness, she very nearly absolutely refuses to share her problems, and will distance herself and block everyone out while she deals with it on her own.

It’s very noticeable because she’s usually very cheerful and bubbly, but when she’s in a bad mood or going through something, she’ll go very, very quiet.

Being Pathfinder just made her more stubborn and determined to do this, since she feels that she needs to be an example, and needs to show everyone what they need to see rather than... the flawed human she is. It also made her even more determined to take on everyone and anyone’s problems and fix them the best way she can.

She’s changed somewhat over the course of the story though, through getting to know her crew. Liam and Jaal especially are helping her to learn to open herself up and express herself in a healthier way.

She’s also an incredible nerd. Loves exploring and finding new things. Loves learning as much as she can about almost everything.

What’s their preferred profile, or class? Were they naturally inclined towards combat or technical skills? Were they a developed biotic, or did they first experience it with SAM?

Biotic. All the way. She wasn’t naturally inclined towards using her biotics for combat, oddly enough, preferring instead to use them to screw around and fling shit around the room. She gained her biotics through the exposure to eezo that her mother received.

Canon says they served in the Alliance before joining the Initiative, do you keep this canon, or have you made some changes? Explain their backstory either way.  

She did serve in the alliance, almost more as a punishment than anything else. She was... a bit wild and got herself into some rather serious trouble, so it was her parents way of getting her shit together while also helping out the alliance.

Beyond the game - AFAIK Ryder canonically grew up on the Citadel. Not my Ryder. She spent most of her life on Earth, growing up in the southern US. She only moved to the Citadel in her late teens. She was only there about six years or so before they left the Milky Way altogether.

She’s got a slight southern drawl that gets stronger when she gets mad or upset. She uses southern slang without thinking about it sometimes, but sometimes she does it deliberately because it confuses others and she’s a little shit.

Everyone’s got one… List their (or your) favorite powers, weapons, and armor sets. Any special reason for these choices?

Weapon - N7 Eagle pistol. She modified it to shoot energy blasts and she freaking loves that thing.

Power - Lance. Love how it just splats directly into their face.

Armor set - Not particularly. 

Its all in the family. Explain their relationship with Alec, Ellen, and their sibling. If you changed anyone’s names or added a different sibling in your canon, explain why.

Alec - He was very distant, always busy, so she doesn’t actually feel that close to him. There is still a bond, and she still has this urge to make him proud, but that’s... about all.

Ellen - She loved her mother very much, they were very close. It was her mother that helped instill in her the love of exploration and of learning that she has.

Scott - Her and her brother have a sort of love/hate relationship. They give each other a hard time, insult each other at the drop of a hat (usually they don’t mean it though) but they have each other’s backs no matter what. They were the sort that made up their own secret language and hand gestures to get into or out of trouble.

What’s their favorite memory they have of their sibling? Of their parents? How have they dealt with the aftermath of Habitat 7? How deeply does this effect them?

Her and Scott are both biotics, and since they were little shits they’d often try to think of games and stupid things they could do with them. Like the time they tried to play volleyball by hitting the ball with biotic blasts. It didn’t work. They ended up putting a hole in one of the walls. The parents were Not Amused.

Honestly, Habitat 7 hit so hard and so quickly that she was in shock for a while afterwards. She didn’t really deal with it, she just kind of packed it away.

As they unlock the memories, how does this change, if at all, their view of their parents?

As she started unlocking Alec’s memories however, she started to actually come to terms with his loss. It made her feel a little empty, since she didn’t feel like she’d actually had a lot of him there to lose.

Explain the way they feel about their squadmates, both initially and over the course of the story.

Liam - Initially she saw him as just another squadmate. Didn’t think about him, he was just kinda there. “Eh, seems an ok guy. Hope he doesn’t die or anything. That’d be a shame. Oh, shit, I forgot to get a drink before we left. Dammit.” After she got to know him though? Shit, he’s her new bestie. “There are so many movies we gotta marathon. Also, I have to make you some of my marshmallow popcorn. I swear you’ll love it.” There was a brief bit of flirting, but she ultimately decided they’d be better off as friends, and they’re both perfectly happy with that.

Cora - Initially she was kind of put off. I mean, she basically just talked about Alec and Asari and... yeah. But as she got to know her, they got to understand each other more and are now comfortable with each other. Sees her as a sort of surrogate big sister.

Vetra - Initially.... “Wow, what a badass. *hearteyes*” Now? “Wow, what a badass. And she’s my friend! What the fuck! This is amazing!” Secretly admires her cereal hoard. Secretly wants to steal Sid to be her own sister.

Peebee - Initially? Peebs jumped on her and she just kind of stared back in shock and somewhere deep within her brain she was like “I... have GOT to bang her before I die.” It was nearly instant crush. “She’s so cute! And smart! And sassy! I’m so gay!! How did I not know I’m so gay?!” Now? Well, she did bang her so that’s done (but it was no strings so..). The instant crush has mellowed out, and she cares for her a great deal. She doesn’t know how it’ll go yet.

Drack - Initially... holy shit, she actually squeaked out “Daddy!” when he first showed up, thank god he didn’t hear her. Liam did and snort-laughed so hard he nearly choked. She totally meant it in the family way though, not the “daddy” way, I swear. He’s practically adopted her by the time of his loyalty mission though so it worked out for her. He swears that she’s got a little krogan in her, and she just laughs that she must get it from him. Would have totally headbutted a krogan on Elaaden had the chance presented itself. He would have been so proud.

Jaal - Initially she didn’t really see him as an individual as much as she did just a representative of the Angara. She had a lot of scientific curiosity, and was bound and determined to make sure that he’d be taken care of and such, since he went with them in good faith and it’d be pretty shitty to send him back with a missing limb or something like that, but that was kind of it. She was kind because she’s a kind person and genuinely wanted to help his people, but she didn’t really care for him specifically in any real way. Then Liam started talking about how he wanted to get to know Jaal as a person and such, and she started seeing how the crew helping him effected him, how he kept commenting on how kind she was, and it really started sinking in. She started actually trying to get to know him too and spend time with him, talk to him about things that weren’t just her picking his brains over his culture and people (although she did that too). And whoops, she cares about him now a whole lot more than she ever expected to. She’s shying away from putting a label on those feelings as of yet, but whatever they are, they’re strong.

Explain the way they feel about the rest of the Tempest crew?

She finds Suvi to be an adorable little nerd even if her cooking is terrifying, she likes and respects Kallo quite a bit, and she likes Gil a lot even if she also sort of thinks he’s a petty little shit at times. Her pyjack, Jackjack (creative, isn’t it) and her hamster, Boo (yeah, I did that) are beyond reproach, even if she lives in fear of Jackjack pissing on her bed. 

Beyond the game - She doesn’t keep Boo in that tiny little glass trap. What kind of cage is that? What the fuck? She put a nice hamster setup in her room and occasionally lets Boo run wild in a little hamster ball (only under supervision).

How about Nexus leadership and the people on the Nexus in general? What were their reactions to the Angara and the Exiles? How did learning there was a whole new species in Helius affect them? How did news of the rebellion affect them?

On the whole she likes the Nexus’s people. Mostly she’s neutral. Director Tann and Addison both annoy the hell out of her but Kesh and the turian (wtf was his name?!) are a-okay in her books. 

She was actually scared shitless when she first met the Angara because she was certain they were gonna blow her ass out of space. Then she was just nervous because, while they hadn’t shot her, they still weren’t very happy to see her. And she was the first human they’d ever met. She can’t fuck this up!! She can’t!! Holy shit!!! Then Jaal got in her face. Overall it was very nerve-wracking and she tried to be as chill as she could but ended up telling a stupid joke anyway (but it all worked out in the end).

The rebellion and the Exiles both make her sad, and feel like the Nexus really really dropped the ball and let them down. Mostly she wants to help the ones who want help, and let the ones who don’t want it do their thing and be left in peace.

What about their interactions with the Kett?

She wanted for that first meeting to go well, she really did. When she found out how they were treating the Angara though and what they were doing, she felt less bad and is more or less out for their heads.

Did Ryder fall in love? If so, with whom? What drew them to that person? Would their sibling approve?

Things are complicated for her right now on the romance front. She is definitely crushing on Peebee, but she may or may not be falling in love with Jaal. She’s also kind of in denial about all of it, because, like Peebs, she’s skittish about matters of the heart. What drew her to them? Peebs is not only a fellow nerd, she’s a lot of fun, and a genuinely sweet person. Jaal is such an open and great guy that she seriously feels like she’s becoming a better person just by being around and close to him.

Would Scott approve? Possibly. Mostly he’d just be shocked that his weird little sister was actually in such a position in the first place. And that she’d already banged one of them. Jesus, Thea, wtf were you up to while I was out of it?

What does Ryder do in their spare time? What are their hobbies and interests? Do they share these with their friends, or are they more private?

Listens to music. Reads up on all the new info on stuff in Andromeda. Paces around the ship. Randomly pesters everyone else about whatever they’re up to and their thoughts on various things going on. 

She’s more private about her reading, but occasionally shares her music with the others. Tried to set up a karaoke night but it was shot down. She did end up singing in the bar on Kadara once, though. It was pretty fun.

How do they feel being in command of the Tempest? Whats their favorite part of the ship? Least favorite?

She loves the Tempest. It’s gorgeous. It’s got space. It’s fast as hell.

Favorite part - Her room.

Least favorite part - Doesn’t have one tbh.

How about driving the Nomad? Are they a good or terrible driver?

She absolutely loves driving the Nomad. She’s a shitty driver in that she will drive up every mountain and over every cliff she sees like she is trying to kill her squadmates. She does it for the thrill though. And efficiency. 

How do they feel about their connection with SAM? What’s their views on AI in general? Knowing Milky Way history and the attack on Eden Prime and the Citadel a recent memory, did the Geth influence this view? Does their view on SAM change?

SAM is a blessing and a curse. He is learning to be more human, but he can still be cold at times, and... also very, very repetitive. Honestly, all the stuff that happened with the Geth just made her more set in her opinion that AI should be treated with dignity and respect like any other sentient life.

Favorite world they landed on? How do they feel getting to be the first human to step in many of these places?

Her favorite world is actually Kadara. She freaking loves the sand and all the pools of hot water (well, after they got fixed so they wouldn’t melt you). She can’t wait for it to stabilize to the point that it becomes a spa planet. Then she’ll probably live there. The political climate is much more stable, and all she really wants is a tiny hole in the wall. The people are all liars, but the planet itself is a+. And there’s a great bar!

She doesn’t think so much about how she’s the first human, she just gets caught up in how amazing it is to see everything for the first time.

How do they feel about the Remnant? Are they worried? Curious? Simply accepting of what they can do with it?

She’s a little worried about the rem-tech. The more they use it, the more it feels too good to be true. She still uses it though, since it does so much good.

Do they ever wish they could just return to the Milky Way? Do they miss anything in particular about their old home? Did they bring anything special with them?

Honestly, she misses people more than places, and there’s no going back to them. 

What she brought - Tons of music and picture files of particularly scenic places.

How do they feel about what they’ve accomplished in Helius? Are they proud? Worried? Do they feel positive about the chances for a cluster-wide unity? If they could change anything that had happened since everyone arrived in the cluster, what would it be and why?

Overall she feels like she’s doing a pretty good job. She’s proud of herself and the Initiative as a whole (even if they’ve stumbled more than she’d like). She does kind of wish they’d gotten there sooner, maybe they could have helped the Angara out more, prevented some things from happening, but there’s no way to know that for sure so she doesn’t think about it much.

[purplesurveys]

1054 - Just bolding surveys, both taken the long way.

survey by lilprincess

Names

Your given name begins with a C. False. That’s what my surname begins with, though.

Your middle name begins with a vowel. True. Both my second and legal middle names, actually.

Your last name ends with a consonant. Yeah, the aforementioned C.

Your first name is of Latin origin. I don’t think so. If I remember correctly, it’s French and German. There's a silent letter in your surname. Filipino words or names rarely have silent letters.

People tend to have issues pronouncing your surname. It’s a common surname and is very straightforward and easy to pronounce. Your father was the one who picked out your birth name. He came up with Robyn, and I’ve since felt bad about hating my given name so much as a kid because doing so definitely must have made him sad :( My mom came up with my second name, Isabelle. You think your first name is pretty. That’s what I think so now. I love how unique and unisex Robyn is. You have names picked out for your future kids. I have a list of favorites, but nothing final. Your first name rhymes with multiple words. Sure. ‘Robin’ itself is a word, so I’m fairly certain it has a lot of rhymes. You're named after a Catholic holy figure. I’m not but that is very much the case in Filipino cuture, actually. A lot of kids are named after the saint that they share a feast date with.

Age

Many people mistake you for being younger than your actual age. Yep. Just last Saturday I got stopped at the mall entrance because the guard thought I was a minor. To confirm my age he asked for my driver’s license in such a condescending way, as if he didn’t expect me to be able to pull out one; and that soured my mood for the entire morning. Like Jesus, just take my fucking temperature and be courteous at your job. Why do you have to be such an asshole?

You're old enough to legally drink, drive and vote. Yeah the legal age for all of those things here is 18, so I’ve been able to do all three for four years now.

You have a youthful physical appearance and attitude. I’d say I look very young (see above incident with Asshole Guard), but ~youthfulness might not be the first thing one sees from my attitude or actions. I think I look stressed and tired all the time.

Education and Job Background

You are a post-high school graduate. Yes, went straight to college after high school as is normal practice here. I seldom hear of people taking a gap year, and that’s usually reserved for really really rich kids who already have their futures planned out by their parents and technically never really have to take up schooling.

You've attended some college but never completed it. Batch 2020, baby.

You've attended 2 different middle schools. I went to the same school from kinder to high school, and only moved when I started university.

At school you had very few close friends, but many acquaintances. This was applicable in both schools. Either way, I’ve been fortunate to be able to form lasting relationships and make friends.

Math was your least favorite subject. Some math classes, like trig and calculus, sucked. But I enjoyed statistics, algebra, and parts of geometry. My most-hated class has to be chemistry though.

You've participated in extracurricular academic activities. I don’t think so. I liked participating in extracurricular activities like being in clubs and orgs, but being in extracurricular academic activities just sounds exhausting. Why bring my studies outside of my studies?

You've won a spelling bee in elementary school. We didn’t have spelling bees per se but we had a lot of spelling quizzes in class and I remember scoring the highest for most, if not all, of them. I also won first place in a quiz bee in fifth grade but it had various categories, spelling included.

Home economics and wood shop were required courses in your middle school. Home economics was. We did a lot of things that I absolutely hated when I was that age but I see the appeal of now, like tye-dyeing, baking rainbow cakes, apple pies, and macarons, cross-stitching, crocheting, etc. I have no idea what wood shop is. 

You attended your high school prom alone. My high school is very controlling, and bringing a prom date was actually mandatory and would’ve led to repercussions if you weren’t able to find one. Given that I wasn’t interested in boys at the time, I just brought my cousin to get the evening over with.

Physical Appearance

You're a dark-haired brunette. I have black hair. Which makes me dark-haired, but not a brunette.

You have green eyes. I don’t, but I find this eye color the prettiest.

You've been wearing glasses for a long time. Since I was 11. I needed them a little earlier than that, but my mom had always thought I was fooling around when I was 9 and first started letting her know that my vision was getting blurry.

You are near sighted. Very much. If I took my glasses off right now, even if my laptop is very close to me, I would be unable or at least have a very difficult time finishing the rest of this survey.

You have a button nose. Erm, I don’t know what this is and I don’t feel like checking.

You are 5'4". A little shorter than that. I got the shortest end of the stick when it comes to the height in my family.

Your smallest pants & skirt size was a 2. We don’t measure this way, so I dunno what the Filipino equivalent for size 2 is. I know I usually go for XS and XXS clothes, though.

You take morning showers. Eh, sometimes. I don’t schedule my showers as often anymore. I did take a shower this morning, though.

You polish your own nails. I never do anything with my nails, except trim them or bite them myself.

Your favorite color to wear is black. Used to be. Now I like having color in my outfits.

You've had your hair completely dyed before. Never done this.

You've worn spray-on tattoos before. I don’t think so, but as a kid I was obsessed with sticker tattoos hehe. Filling up my wrist and arms with them is one of my favorite childhood memories.

You have multiple piercings. Just the two in my ears.

You find it nearly impossible to walk in high heels. It can be a little uncomfortable by the 3rd hour of walking around with them, but I honestly love high heels.

You currently have bangs. I want to get rid of them but people have to see me with bangs first lol, so they’re staying until a little after the pandemic subsides, whenever that is.

You barely wear makeup. I don’t see the appeal and I don’t feel like learning how to apply it any time soon.

You have tiny feet. Size 6 or 7.

You're dominantly right handed. Yep. I can barely achieve anything with just my left hand.

Love, Sex & Romance

You're not a virgin. Yeah, well. This is self-explanatory.

You're considering using the birth control pill. I didn’t really need to given the nature of my past relationship. I’m also not seeing anyone at the moment so again, no reason to be on it.

You're currently involved in a long-distance relationship. I’m not, and I’m not sure if I can handle that. My mom and dad have been long-distance for their entire marriage and seeing their experience is enough for me to not want the same thing for myself.

Your significant other's native language is different from yours. You have no idea how much I hate having to cross this out.

You believe there's much more to a romantic relationship than just sex. I barely think of sex when I think about relationships. Honestly speaking, I don’t consider it a big priority. I can see myself lasting with someone and yet never having sex.

You've been in love with someone else while in a relationship. Hell no.

You are straight but support same-sex marriage. Just the latter part is true.

--

survey by xflirtykaosx

Have You Ever...?

Lied to your friends about who you saw? I feel like this lacks a bit of context, unless it’s slang that I don’t understand. Saw when? Doing what? Hahahaha.

Cheated on a test? Yeah, once. It was a statistics exam and I knew I already had a 99 in the bag but there was one item I was stuck on. Midway through the exam the school speakers played a certain prayer that was played daily; and since we had to let go of our test papers for a bit to pray, I got a glimpse of my classmate’s paper. I didn’t know if she was right but I just copied her answer on the item I was stuck on just to get it over with. Ended up getting a 100 on that test but I never felt like celebrating, and I never cheated after that. It’s just not worth it.

Cheated on a partner? I’ve never done this, and I would never do this.

Dated a friend’s ex soon after they broke up? I don’t plan on doing this and I’ve never been put in this situation before.

Dated your ex's friend soon after you broke up? No, I’m not interested in any of her friends.

Eaten caviar? I’ve had it in some high-end buffets, but I’m sure it was the inexpensive kind. I haven’t tried rich-people high-society caviar yet.

Smoked a cigar? Haven’t, but willing to try.

Had more than 15 cigarettes in one day? That sounds disgusting. My personal record is probably like 4 or 5 in one night, which is nasty enough.

Smoked weed? I also have not. But I know someone who has access, and I’m just waiting for the right time to try weed for the first time.

Smoked weed on a regular basis or in a large amount? See above.

Eaten at a famous Chef’s restaurant? Never tried it mostly because there are none here lol, but it’s definitely in my bucket list. I’d love to try out Gordon Ramsay’s restaurants the most.

Read someone else’s diary or bank info without permission? Never. I know my ex has a collection of journals from her angsty years that she never let me read, and I always respected that. There were a lot of times I was alone in her room and I had every chance to be an asshole and go through her private diaries, but I never felt the need to. I respected her and her privacy way too much.

Bought someone a membership to a club or society? No. I’m not even a part of one myself.

Kissed a poster of a celeb or person you find attractive? Hahahaha probably. I haven’t done so since I was a young teenager, though.

Eaten a chip sandwich? No but I looked it up and ngl it looks kinda delicious? I wanna try.

Eaten a mustard and ham sandwich? Eugh, no. I winced immediately at mustard; just not my condiment of choice.

Got caught doing something bad on tape? I dunno...maybe? There are CCTVs everywhere now so it’s definitely possible, but if I did do anything ‘bad’ it was probably just a small petty thing, like taking a lost and found ballpen. I’ve always been afraid of breaking the rules.

Drunk a drink that you thought was something else? The reason I hate soda as much as I do was because I had been very thirsty during a family lunch when I was 3, and a glass of what I thought was water, which I fervently drank until I felt the burn in my throat, turned out to be Sprite.

Had extra strong chewing gum? JM brought a pack to school everyday, and I would occasionally ask for one if I felt like chewing on something.

Bit your gum or lower lip and it bled? For sure. Many times.

Broken a vase or plant pot and blamed it on the cat? No but similar. I always blamed my younger siblings whenever I accidentally sent something crashing to the floor as a kid.

Broken anything else and blamed it on a pet? I don’t think so. I love Kimi too much to blame him. And whenever something does break at home it usually is Cooper’s fault, so.

Eaten roule cheese? I don’t think so. It certainly doesn’t sound familiar.

Watched a foreign film without the subtitles on? Well yeah, American films are foreign to me. I’ve watched a bunch without subtitles but I’ve always preferred to have them on, because some accents can be thick. And I hate when actors mumble their lines or speak too fast.

Kissed a frog to see if a prince would come? No.

Coloured a black and white photograph in? I mean I’ve finished pages in coloring books, if that counts.

Pronounced your name in a foreign accent? I can say it in thick American and Filipino accents, but that’s it.

Saw an eclipse with your own eyes? Super blue blood moon, 2018. Eclipses are usually not visible here, so when the news spread that that particular eclipse will be very much present in the Philippines I didn’t hesitate to be outdoors and stare at it for a few minutes.

Sat an exam after 4pm? Yup, I once took an exam at 6 PM.

Covered your face with so much makeup it looked hideous? I have a few childhood photos where I was made to wear too much makeup and I ended up looking like a ghost.

Gone on a school camping trip? Never happened to my class. That would’ve sounded like a blast, though.

Stolen something off your parents? I don’t think so. I wouldn’t be able to stomach the guilt.

Watched TV for 5 hours solid? Yeah, well the TV was the main source of entertainment before phones and quicker internet exploded, so we definitely sat around in front of the TV as kids way longer than five hours. Our elders weren’t too strict with our TV usage, and the general idea was that if an electronic device can keep a handful of kids behaved, then it won’t be an issue.

Cried while on a fairground ride? Not cried, but I’ve felt light-headed, weak, and close to fainting. My body is just not built for fair/amusement park rides.

Had to go to the doctor’s due to a bad flu? Yep. Turned out to be a UTI.

Got a CAT or other form of brain scan? Never happened before. I hope I never see myself in a situation serious enough for these procedures to be deemed necessary.

Spilt spaghetti all over your light coloured top? Never, but this is definitely a Robyn thing that can happen.

Got wine or coke on your parents’ furniture? No. I’ve lived 22 whole years with my mom; I know better than doing that, even if accidentally.

Faked sadness to get out of trouble? I don’t think so. I’ve definitely used it as an excuse, but it was always real to a certain extent. I’m always upset when I know I’m in trouble.

Opened up a packet of chips or crisps upside down? Sure, when opening from the right side up doesn’t work.

Called your friend Mum or Dad by accident? Never. That’s a bit of an odd mistake to make ngl, but I suppose it’s happened to others.

Eaten a boiled egg on its own? Of course. I’d be more surprised if someone hasn’t.

Eaten raw onions as a snack? That doesn’t sound appealing. Pass. 

Watched someone commit a crime and didn't report it? I don’t think so. If this happened I’m pretty sure 1) I would report it immediately, and 2) I would also get extremely anxious and probably feel troubled by it for a few days.

Slipped a disc whilst carrying something heavy? I never heard of this term before, so I’m guessing this hasn’t happened to me before.

Swore at a teacher whilst at school? There’s a chance I’ve sworn while a professor was within earshot, but I’ve never sworn at one.

Would You Ever...?

Dress up as the opposite sex? No. I don’t feel the need to, and there are never any circumstances where I’ve had to do so.

Eat a whole pizza to yourself? That’s definitely a big goal of mine haha. I wanna be able to accomplish it at least once.

Sing in front of 2000 or more people? I’ve kinda done this, in school plays; I was always part of a big group though. I’ve never done it solo and have no desire to do so at any point in my life.

Swim with dolphins? I’d love the chance to see dolphins in their natural habitat, but if I do get to encounter them I’d rather stay in the boat and watch them do their thing; that would be enough for me. As friendly as they can be, I don’t want to disrupt their routine and even spook them in the process.

Audition for a reality show? You lost me at ‘audition.’

Lick your partner’s toes? I mean if doing it would solve global warming or give me a million dollars or end world hunger, then it’s a really small price to pay.

Not shower for 2 weeks? Again if there’s a big prize waiting for me in the end, it suddenly doesn’t sound like such a difficult task.

Look after someone else’s child permanently? There has to be a very good, personal reason behind it.

Fly an aeroplane? I’d love to take lessons. My dad’s dream for me was to be a pilot, so it’d be a fun surprise to show him I could actually operate a plane.

Ask a stranger for directions? This isn’t too difficult a task. I’d make sure I’m somewhere crowded and look for someone who looks approachable and helpful, though. Some places do look sketchy.

Catch a 5am train? If it was my only choice, I guess? My family has had to leave the house even earlier for certain trips.

Buy condoms at a pharmacy? I’ve had a friend ask me to do this when she felt too shy to do it herself. But in general, people really shouldn’t be embarrassed when buying things like this. If the cashier judges you, that’s their problem.

Hold a stranger’s hand if they were scared? In an extreme situation, yeah.

Illegally sell drugs for a lot of money? That’s a nope. I’d like to keep my hands off drugs.

Jump into a swimming pool off the highest board? This reminds me of that episode of Mr. Bean where he found himself on the highest diving board at the public pool hahahaha. Anyway, I’d do this if money was on the line, but never just for my own leisure.

Lick a stamp? Sure, whatever.

Make fun of your partner’s family in front of them? ...Why would I even do that?

Murder someone who murdered or raped a child? I would definitely react to a crime like that, but I could never carry out murder myself.

Name your child Adele? It’s a pleasant name; it fits as a second name. It’s not in my top choices by any means, but it’s still pretty.

Name your pet Toby? You pretty much hit the jackpot. Our bunny was named Tobi.

Touch a naked flame with one finger? God no. I know it’s a fairly easy trick and nearly everyone I know knows how to do it, but I’d never try it.

Play strip poker? I don’t even know how to play poker.

Pay for sex? I don’t see myself doing this.

Pet a dog you didn't know? I’d ask permission from the owner first, because the dog might be a biter. If it’s a stray dog, I’d motion for it to come over but keep a distance so as not to scare them.

Pee behind a bush or in a field if you thought nobody could see? I mean, if it’s an extreme emergency and it was the only possible place...

Queue up for a concert ticket for 5 hours or longer? For my favorites, yes. If it was for someone like Beyoncé I’d probably even camp out the night before.

Ride a camel in the desert? I’d still have to check if this is an ethical practice involving the camels. It sounds appealing, though.

Risk your life for 1000 strangers? Depends on what’s at stake.

Show your privates in public to raise a million for charity? If the act of doing so is tasteful and makes sense.

Wear a turban for a year? I don’t think I’m in the place to wear one, culturally speaking.

Can You...

Ride a bike? Cannot, have not been able to in the last 22 years. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to learn, as much as I want to.

Swim? I mean I can definitely stay in the water, tread, and do several strokes, but I’m no professional swimmer if that’s what you mean. I don’t even know how to do a proper dive.

Skate? I used to love ice skating. Ice skating rinks used to be a common feature in malls when I was a kid, and my mom usually dropped me off there while she did groceries and did errands, so that I was kept occupied. I’m very certain that I’m rusty now though, because I haven’t put ice skates on in more than a decade.

Cook? Not a chance. My cooking skills only extend to instant noodles, scrambled eggs, frozen hotdogs, and basic sandwiches.

Ski? I’ve never even seen snow before, much less put skis on.

Speak fluent in another language? Yep, I speak Filipino all the time.

Remember all your families names? What does this mean? Like if I recognize all my relatives? I wouldn’t be able to name all of them if you lined them up, to be honest with you. Filipino families are notorious for being huge and there are lots of people on both my mom’s and dad’s sides whose names I could never remember.

Ride a horse? Nah, I can only do so if a professional is riding with me or maneuvering the horse themselves.

Play Tennis? I’ve never actually tried playing tennis before; I’ve never had the chance.

Play Golf? No, and no desire to. I find golf a little boring and underwhelming.

Play Football or Soccer? We had to play futsal as part of high school PE, which is just essentially football but indoors. That’s where I realized I could’ve been good in football since I turned out to be naturally decent in kicking and blocking the ball...I just never got around to polishing my skills and getting better because I didn’t know if I could maintain training anyway.

Control your temper? Sure, for the most part.

Show your emotions? I can also do this, whenever necessary. I’m able to strike a balance.

Help others? Erm, sure? I try do whenever I can.

Stay neutral? Yeah, if it’s the most mature thing to do. I definitely always stay in the middle when it’s two of my friends who are arguing and I can’t remember a single time I actively took a side.

Eat spicy foods? Kinda comes with being Asian, at least for the most part. Spicy food is the best in Korean and Indian cuisines.

Work as a team?

Work on your own?

Used a compass? Just in geometry class, but I never understood what it was for so I abandoned it quickly.

Do simple Math?

Spell reasonably well? I have to thank Akeelah and the Bee for this. After that movie I’d just read the dictionary for days as well as look up the winning words from the Scripps National Spelling Bee.

Understand basic Science? I actually take a liking to science, so I enjoyed our classes as a kid.

Reach a 175 or more in bowling? Haha, does Wii Sports count?

Touch your nose with your tongue? Never could do it.

[cult-camp-counselor-inactive]

Opportunities

Richie was in the back parking lot of the dive bar he’s frequented most during his stay in this town. Quiet, used for staff and for the bands playing, but he “negotiated” in place whenever staff came out to say things like “You have to reserve that spot.” Dumb stuff. 

Speaking of quiet, the only thing he could hear was the occasional passing car, and the muffled music coming from inside. Not even muffled, he could only make out the drumming. He took it as an opportunity to practice his bass, so he’d been spending that time adding his own melody by ear. It was nice. It was quiet. 

At least, until people started yelling. The back door of the bar slammed open. Richie tried to keep his melodies going, but it was somehow harder to hear the music with the door open. He closed his eyes to focus his ears better. No luck. “hHhhhhh fuck it,” he said, and started riffing his own melody based on whatever he felt like playing. The people outside were kicking someone out of their band. 

“You’ve cost us another gig, I can’t believe you!” Said a girl’s voice. Loud, rightfully pissed. It was almost funny. The boy they were all angry at pleaded for another chance. But damn, Richie didn’t even have to open his eyes to know the guy was clearly high. Guess that was band business. Can’t play under the influence, or at least under too much of it. Richie sent out a small, non-religious-specific prayer for the guy, who needed rehab. Looks like someone’s driving him home. It got quiet again, and Richie could hear the muffled drumming again. 

That, and someone walking closer to him. He kept playing, eyes shut. The steps stopped a few feet away from him.

“Can I help you?” 

“Woww,” the voice of the previously angry girl revealed itself in a much sweeter tone, and Richie opened his eyes. “You play with your eyes closed often?”

“Sometimes,” he smirked. The girl was very pretty. Her most discernible features were probably her eyes. Even in the moonlight, they were a deep brown that glistened. Her hair was in box braids, save for her hairline, which was styled in a wave-shaped pattern. She had several piercings on her ears, and one on her eyebrow. Richie gasped. “Holy shit!” He’s seen this girl before! He felt like hitting himself with the world’s biggest “Duh”. That’s why that bar was so familiar, he’d seen it in his dreams before!

The girl was taken aback. “Uhh..”

“Oh, sorry,” he said. “I’ve just seen you perform before.”

“Oh,” she smirked. “I didn’t know we had fans.”

“Don’t let it get to your head, I never said you were good,” he joked, looking back down at his guitar. She gave an exaggerated pout. She lowered herself to his eye level. 

“You seem pretty good, though. Pretty big coincidence too.”

He looked at her, curious. She smiled. “I’m guessing you were listening to our conversation just now?”

“It was hard not to,” Richie replied, smirking. She shrugged. 

“That was our bass. Long story short, he’s cost us one too many gigs due to circumstances, and refuses to get proper help.”

“Damn, that sucks.”

“Yeah. Good thing his parents live in this area. They’ve been waiting for an excuse to force him into rehab. Saved up money for a few months, too. Of course, we’re paying them back for trouble with our sales-”

“Hold it, you don’t have to dump everything on me. I’m glad you’re getting your friend some much needed help,” he said, unenthusiastically. “And I’m guessing the point of all this is that now your bass spot is open?”

“That’s right!” 

“Pass.” 

“Aww, come on, please? We’ll do icebreakers and everything. You’ll be paid, too! And you’ve got skills!”

“Let me do a little bit of dumping myself. Due to my own circumstances, I don’t mix well with the public eye. It’d be bad business.” Richie looked over as two more people walked over, clearly hearing the conversation. There had to have been a foot difference between them. The taller one was a frail looking guy with a turquoise mohawk, and covered in tattoos. The smaller one was a plain looking girl, but the neckline on her shirt was low enough to reveal the tip of a large tattoo going near her chest and shoulder. 

“Running from the law, or someone dangerous?” The tall guy asked.

“Technically, both,” Richie smiled.

“Psssh, lame,” the man mocked. “I’m banned from two states. What’s your excuse?” Richie sighed. This was getting annoying. He stood up.

“As much as I’d love to hear your stories, I’m insisting that you reconsider your offer.”

“I’m sure we can run from the cops if you’re so worried.”

“Oh, it’s not the cops I’m worried about,” he gave a menacing grin. He pointed at his bright red tattoo. “If I told you everything this is associated with, you’d be going to the cops yourself.” Oh, they looked nervous now. The girl in front of him took a step back, and the tall one looked like he was about to start swinging. “Now that you know, I’m going to say goodnight, and wish you good luck in finding another bassist.“ They just stared at him. “... What?”

“I mean... It doesn’t look like any supremacist symbol I know,” started the tall one.

“Oh please, they come up with new symbols all the time. It’s tough to keep track.”

“It’s not a supremacist symbol!” Richie said, a bit offended. 

“Oh... Then there shouldn’t be a problem!” The tall one smiled. That set him off.

“Oh for Xemug’s sake --I don’t want to join your fucking band!” Richie yelled. He put a fist to his mouth and muffled an angry scream, kicking himself for saying the X word, as the people in front of him started laughing. 

“Xemug? What, you part of a cult or something?”

“Yes! .. Well, no.. I’m in hiding, but if it makes you leave, then yes!” Before he could get inside to his rv, the tall guy swing an arm around him, and dragged him off towards the big, black bus sitting in the lot. The others followed. Shit. He wasn’t wearing the guitar strap, so he couldn’t even let go to get his hands free and hypnotize the fucker! “Where are you taking me!?”

“Uhh, to hang out? We wanna hear your sound!” 

“This can’t be legal, this is kidnapping! How the hell is your grip so strong? You look like you weigh 90 pounds!” He just laughed. The two girls walking behind them giggled. “Are neither of you going to help?” 

“Nope!”

“We’re accomplices,” said the short girl. 

“Ugh,” Richie said, giving up. This must be why Daniel looked so negative all the time. Forced interactions. 

---

“So, I’ll go first,” said the braids girl. “I’m Shailah. I’m kind of the lead singer, but I also play guitar, keys, and the trumpet when it’s not my turn.”

“Don’t care,” Richie said. He was seated across from the three of them. He didn’t even have it in him to hypnotize them and leave. He just felt like being negative.

“I’m Kyle,” said the tall one. “I’m mainly on guitar, but I’ve also done a few solo songs.”

“... So, you both sing?”

“We all get our own solos sometimes,” said the short one. “I’m Jae-hwa. I do keys, violin, and the launchpad.”

“I don’t know what that is.”

“Special kind of key board.”

“We got two guys missing, Duc, our drummer, and Mack. He mostly handles odd instruments, like triangles, harmonicas, banjos, and harps as a few examples.” Richie raised an eyebrow. That was a little impressive. “He doesn’t know how to play bass though, so we need you!”

“And I’m telling you, it’s better off you go find someone else!”

“Oh come on,” Kyle pleaded. “Please? Can you sing? I bet you can sing. You project pretty well, did you do theater? Or choir?”

“Wh- how did you- ...” He sighed. “Both. But it doesn’t matter. I can’t save your lost gig tonight.” Also, as these people couldn’t seem to grasp, Richie wasn’t supposed to be near people anymore. Just because he said he wanted friends doesn’t mean he deserved to have friends that could get in danger!

“Yeah, we know that. But you seem like an interesting guy at least, so we want you on board!”

“How can you tell I’m interesting?”

“Well, for starters, you have your RV parked in a reserved-only spot, and we didn’t see you in the line of performers. And I”d like to know how you did that.”

“Hypnosis,” Richie said, casually. They looked dumbfounded. 

“No way,” Jae-hwa said quietly. “Did you hypnotize us?”

“No, but I could if I wanted to.”

“OOOoh, do it on me!” said Kyle enthusiastically. Richie shrugged. 

“Okay, don’t blame me if you suffer side effects.” He leaned over the table before Kyle could protest, waved his hand, and snapped. Kyle went slack-jawed, and his eyes went dull. It was a little bit fun. 

“You’re listening to my voice only, and you’ll listen to my commands only. The first time I snap my fingers, you’re going to think I’m... Lady Gaga. When I snap my fingers a second time, you’ll act like a chicken. When I say “Apricot”, you will leave the trance. Ready? 3, 2, 1,” He snapped. 

Kyle took a minute to blink, and focused his eyes back on Richie. His eyes went starry. He teared up. “Oh my god,” he whispered, choking. “I can’t believe it.” Kyle cupped his mouth with his hands. Jae-hwa and Shailah looked at him in astonishment. “Do you guys see this?” Richie grinned in the most smug way he could. 

“Want a Bad Romance?” Richie said, toying with Kyle. Kyle blushed, hesitated, and nodded. “3, 2, 1,” Richie snapped. Kyle was brought to attention. It took him a few seconds to adjust and get some sounds out, but sure enough, he squawked like a chicken. 

“Holy shit,” Shailah said. Richie giggled. “There’s no way this is real, he’s just going along with it!”

“Oh really? Apricot.” 

Kyle stopped. And then almost collapsed. He clutched his head. “Ohhh, why am I dizzy? What just happened?”

“Boom,” Richie mouthed. “Hypnotism, did you have fun?”

“Uuhh... I don’t... know? It was relaxing... Oh, but now my head hurts. Was Lady Gaga in here?”

“What else have you used this for?” Shailah said, nervous.

Richie thought to himself. “Things I... can’t say I regret. Nothing too serious, just murder.”

“Oh, well that’s good. I was worried there for a second,” she said sarcastically. 

“But you don’t... do that anymore, do you?”

“... No. No, I’m trying to get away from that,” he said, twiddling his thumbs. He sighed. “And because I’m trying to get away, they are trying to track me down.” Richie thought about his options. He was kind of bored. He was kind of lonely. Maybe the back up and some gained fame might give him a chance to visit the camp without trouble starting? “Do you still want me in your band?” 

“I thought you didn’t want to be in the band,” Kyle said, smirking.

“Yeah, well, you’re fun to hypnotize. But I do have conditions. There are a select number of states I can’t be near, and I’m going to leave without notice if I have to. I can’t guarantee your safety from cultist whack jobs, so you better not cry if they find me.”

“Deal!” Kyle said. “Well, on my end. What about you two?”

Shailah shrugged. “I took self defense classes.”

“I have a pocket knife,” Jae-hwa admitted. 

“Very cool, and the other two will... Have to deal with it!”

“No, we should tell them,” Shailah protested. “You know Duc gets anxious. They both should know this stuff.”

“Be my guest, tell them everything,” Richie shrugged. “But if they aren’t back by tomorrow afternoon, I’m leaving the state.”

The three looked at each other. They seemed unsure they wanted Richie in the band now. Well, not Kyle. He still seemed cool with it. It almost made Richie happy. The three nodded. 

“Okay then! Salut, good night,” said Richie, leaving with his bass to-

“Oh wait! What’s your name!” Kyle asked.

“Richie, now bye!” And finally, he left. That was tiring. But kind of fun. 

[justyouraverage21yrold-blog]

Questions Answered by my 21 year old Self.

Would love to revisit these in years to come to see how I’ve changed/ not changed. 

3 Fears: 1. Not being able to have a family as thats all I really would love to do. 2.  3 things I love: 1. The sounds of my children at work when they giggle. 2. Going on walks or to cute brunch places with my family or friends. 3. Travelling  2 turns on: A boy with strong morals, doesn’t saccumb to peer pressure. Someone who doesn’t think they have to do so many things to ‘impress’ me. I like you before you do all of those things, so don’t try so hard. They just are themselves and trust that they are good enough. Humble with self-esteem I guess. 2 turns off: The opposites of the turn ons: succumbing to peer pressure. Eg. Drinking culture, no work ethic, lazy. Someone who tries too hard to impress you.  My best friend: I don’t have a best friend. I have many and I’m fortunate for them all. There’s the best listener friend, the best comedian friend, the best advice giver friend, party friend, chilled friend, crazy friend. I love them all dearly and am grateful for them. Sexual orientation: Straight!  How tall am I: 165cm What do I miss right now: Being in Europe. I would love to be in Ireland right about now. Favourite color: Hmm don’t have one. White probably, even though it technically isn’t a colour. Do I have a crush: actually yes. Recent, but yes.  Favourite place: My grandparents house, my house or anywhere in Hawaii What am I listening to right now: Chateau - Angus and Julia Stone Eye color: Dark brown Hair color: Who knows? Blonde. Though Chlorine makes it yellow.  Meaning behind my URL: I guess its a journal for me to track my year being 21. The URL is a reminder for myself. A lot of the peaks and the pits of what I go through others are too. A typical 21 year old. I just want to embrace being young, silly, dumb, smart and everything 21 offers.  Favourite song: What a wonderful world - Louis Armstrong  Favourite band: Mumford and Sons or Hillsong United  How I feel right now: Feeling good :) Someone I love: My family. My current relationship status: this Pringle is single  My relationship with my parents: The best Favourite season: Summer baby Tattoos and piercing I have: Just my ears.  Tattoos and piercing I want: zip zero nada  How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? Too long! Have you shaved your legs in the past three days? Yes! Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? In front for sure :)  Do I believe in luck? I believe in fate.  What was the last book I’ve read? Memoirs of a Geisha by Arthur Golden  Do I have any nicknames? - Ez, Ezzie or Miss E Can I touch my nose with a tounge? No  Favourite animal? Anything that lives in the Ocean  What is my favorite word? Perhaps  Do I have any relatives in jail? No  What is my current desktop picture? Genetic mountains. Probably should change it actually ha! Been in airplane? yes Learned another language? not completley  Wore make up? Yes Dyed my hair? Yes Had a surgery? Yes Met someone famous? Yes Been fishing? Yes Do I like my handwriting? Yeah  Where do I want to live when older? So many places:  What I’m really bad at: taking a back seat. I’m a Leo! I wanna lead! What my greatest achievments are: the day I became a professional actress. Web series came out. When I got a story published  The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me: That based on my size they don’t believe that I eat well.  What I’d do if I won in a lottery: Not tell anyone and be as discreetly and as graciously generous as I could be. Invest it to benefit myself and my family in the best way possible.  Are you outgoing or shy? Both What kind of people are you attracted to? Tanned, self-cared, christian boys  Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? Hmmm idk. I don’t plan to Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? No What are your 5 favorite songs right now? 1. Peace be Still - The Belonging Co ft. Lauren Diagle 2. What About Us - P!nk 3. Behold - Hillsong Worship 4. Green Light- Lorde 5. Chateau - Angus and Julia Stone  Do you like it when people play with your hair? NOOO Do you like bubble baths? NOOO Do you like your neighbors? yes  Where would you like to travel? EVERYWHERE!  Favorite part of your daily routine? Swimming :) or Reading or when I have time to film study and practice acting/ create youtube videos  What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Thighs, stomach, and ARMS What do you do when you wake up? Do my snapchat streaks because I’m so lame. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Darker  Do you ever want to get married? YES!  If your hair long enough for a pony tail? yes Would you rather live without TV or music? OH CRAP!  Have you ever liked someone and never told them? Yes What are your favorite stores to shop in? Decjuba  Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? Yes Do you smile at strangers? Yes!  Ever wished you were someone else? I have to an extend. I admire certain traits some people possess but am so grateful.  Favourite makeup brand? Too many! NARS, Hourglass, Stilar  Ever won a competition? For what? YES! Colouring in Comp! Won a Barbie doll. Best day ever.  Ever been in love? I’m not sure  Facebook or Twitter? HMM! Tough! Twitter, though I use Facebook more.  Are you watching tv right now? No What colour are your towels? Different colours for different towels.  First person you talked to today? Momma  Have any pets? No. Well as fish, called Akiba.  Do you type fast? Yes Sir Do you regret anything from your past? Done things I’m not proud of but don’t regret  Ever broken someone’s heart? Unfortunately, I think so.  Is cheating ever okay? No Do you believe in true love? YES What your zodiac sign? LEO Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? SIR TOBY: I mean to go, sir, to enter - Twelfth Night - William Shakespeare.