#can Ed just have emotions without them being one extreme or another

[zo1nkss]

I respect ppl thinking Ed is afraid of snakes for their own personal reasons(like self projection) but if it's abt the scene in the show, y'all are definitely reading way too much into it.

[hughgrants]

at this point it almost feels like joe alwyn was the one kept locked away for 6 years because the man couldn't fill up his car or get a haircut without getting stalked. the photos coming out now are at events where he has an opportunity to know it's coming, select his clothing and styling, wear a pin representing a cause that's important to him. he has control of his appearances now instead of gritting his teeth during pap walks for backgrid.

we know how ts feels when she feels the narrative is being pulled out of her control ("gaslit by an entire system"). a sense of control over one's own life seems essential for sanity and i don't think it's fair for people to gloss over the part where she agreed to the level of privacy he needed and publicly endorsed it during some of her media statements made during the relationship (which i applaud for being unusually restrained and mature at the time). extreme extroverts and extreme introverts can try to make it work but neither is wrong if it doesn't work (if the breakdown is specifically about that difference between them) and it's kinda crappy to couch it in terms of "being locked away" now. especially since some of the locking away was due to a global pandemic.

joe alwyn wasn't on my radar for most of the 6 years except 1) i felt her music entered a new era of relationship contentment and grown up sensuality that reflected late 20s/early 30s womanhood and then transitioned into a more literary set of albums (folkmore) that had a broader focus thematically and 2) i heard little about him and there was effectively zero romantic drama for 5 full years. what a break for her (and us!).

now i'm more impressed by him than ever. he's quiet in the wake of it all, focuses on his industry commitments and the work he's doing, and absolutely glows with newfound relaxed joy. i absolutely do not think women shouldn't be entitled to have strong, deep emotions and write about those experiences. her work is perhaps the strongest ever in terms of conveying a feminine quixotic, idealized romantic viewpoint and then the flipside of idealizing (it's giving BPD!!!) which is devaluation/disillusionment/disenchantment, resentment, feelings of being deceived or let down ("maybe this thing was a masterpiece 'til you tore it all up" being the early and best example).

the way joe has handled this, though, has made his status in my mind go from "just some guy" to an example of stability and fortitude that interests me. I personally believe that not publicly suffering is not necessarily a sign of callous lack of empathy - sometimes it means maturity and perspective. sw*fties harassing her exes want/ed to see a public mea culpa/punishment/expression of suffering that they feel equals their idols' - it's giving fatal attraction from those fans. maybe we don't need our past partners to suffer. maybe processing feelings involves personal reflection and doesn't require another party.

i'll leave off with this to support idealization/devaluation (the classic bpd trend):

Devils roll the dice, angels roll their eyes

'Cause I can't help it if you look like an angel

Say you're sorry, that face of an angel

And I damn sure would've never danced with the devil

Dear reader, when you aim at the devil

He looks up, grinning like a devil

[amuseoffyre]

I was reading the interview with Jes Tom about the trans allegory of Ed dropping his leathers overboard and my brain latched onto it and started gnawing :D

It got me thinking that this definitely vibes with feelings I had back in 1x10 with Izzy keeping this emotionally vulnerable version of Blackbeard safely hidden from public view ("you will not speak of what you see on pain of death"), Lucius encouraging Ed to express himself and the whole "this… whatever it is that you have become" scene.

Ed says it there himself "I am still Blackbeard" and Izzy flat-out tells him he's not unless he presents himself a specific way, dresses and acts a specific way ('this is Blackbeard'.) Simply being "Edward" and expressing himself and his emotions means that Ed faces hostility, derision, implicit threat and "I should have let the English kill you".

Ed pulls on his leathers again again because he's been threatened by someone close to him, but this time it's different - the intent is different. No more "I am still Blackbeard" because apparently his version of Blackbeard isn't enough (and this is already on the back of Stede saying "you can't be Blackbeard without your black beard"). Now it's "the kraken" or "the fucking devil".

More importantly, when he puts the clothes back on, he does it based on one of the propaganda pictures distributed by the English. This isn't his choice of presentation anymore. I find it fascinating that his look at the beginning of S2 is some kind of hybrid of the Mad Devile Pyrate Blackbeard and the image that Izzy shoved in his face in 1x10. (Also love the detail that Izzy's image has elements that appear in Black Pete's fantasy of Blackbeard, to confirm that this image isn't accurate either)

It's a defensive pushback, escalating to the 'viking vampire clown' aesthetic, because if he's being threatened by someone he trusted and he's had past experience of people being nice to him then turning on him ('it's a fickle crowd'), he'll have to go to another extreme to make sure no one will get close enough to hurt him or threaten him again.

The clothing is only a surface element. It's part of an armour to protect himself with his presentation. Stede's line in 1x03 explains it in a nutshell - "It's a power move - make people feel underdressed and suddenly, you're the one in charge". People don't know him/aren't afraid of him when they see him without it (the party ship - "do you know who I am?") and this carries over into S2 as well (the people at the fish shack).

It only hit me now that every scene where he expresses his emotions when he's in his leathers includes some kind of hiding - his hair loose around his face, hiding under a robe in Stede's bath tub, standing at the back of the ship where no one can see his face, closing himself away to cry in an empty room, hiding under a blanket at Mary and Anne's. He's been forced to hide his vulnerabilities when he's in his armour for decades.

Even when he's talking to Stede (and others), he doesn't express his real intentions. It's all skirting around what he actual wants and feels. The "run me through", the "next adventure" - Ed doesn't feel he can express what he wants directly, because he always has to keep his guard up.

The beginning of 2x07 is Ed wanting to shed the need for that surface armour, that visible shield for Edward. He drops them overboard and immediately goes and talks to Stede about his emotions and his feelings for the first time.

The fact that Izzy saw the leather-drop and this time says "maybe you should listen to it" instead of tearing him down shows how far they've come. Ed feels safe with Stede and wants to just be himself, but when faced with the idea of staying in the world where that armour - that presentation and the expectations that come with it - is necessary again, he panics and runs.

Then their entire world is burning and as far as he knows, Stede is injured or dead.

Once again, the leathers come back, but this time, Ed is the one who chooses to put them on. He's taking this piece of himself that he has hated for years and turns it back into the armour that has protected him for this long to get back to Stede. Him having that choice, making that choice, is key.

I think the biggest thing is him realising he can be Blackbeard and Ed and whoever he wants to be without cutting off pieces of himself. So much of the Blackbeard presentation has been code-switching and hiding his real self. This time, he doesn't hide. He finds a letter and has a cry over it and the instant he's back at Stede's side, he drops his weapon and, for the first time, kisses Stede out in the open in front of people and tells him he loves him.

Ed is no longer afraid to be seen and expressing himself. He's letting himself - all aspects of himself - be seen. The clothes aren't him. They just happen to be there while he is himself.

My expectation is that S3 will see him finally being able to leave that armour behind for good and I can't wait for it.

[bubblesxo]

Okay I just found out about your g!bruce meets the batfam AU and I LOVE IT SO MUCH - have only gone through the tumblr posts but I have the fic on my list to read. Wondering how you think of Jason's resurrection and Barbara's paralyzation working in a post-Gotham world? (Not specifically related to your AU sking you because you also seem really excited about these two worlds clashing!)

Because the way I see it, Hugo Strange was a well known factor and his resurrections don't appear to have any side effects. So why didn't Bruce try to get Jason resurrected, even if it meant working with an enemy?

Barbara's paralyzation pretty much happened exactly like Selina's did - so would Bruce not only be beating himself up, but also be able to approach Ivy for help? Or at least wouldn't Selina or Barbara Kean do it?

thank you so much!! i'm glad that you like the au even without all the material that goes around it! the au actually started out on tumblr in a few different textposts before i decided that i might as well just write it atp.

okay okay, jason's death and barbara's paralyzation.

jason first.

imo, if bruce ever comes face to face with hugo strange again, there won't even be words involved, that man is getting the beat down of his life. batman will MAKE IT so that that man stays in jail, if even only because he would be beat half to death again if he was let out.

hugo strange ordered the hit on bruce's parents, after all, and while bruce is opposed to murder, he is not, as we have seen, opposed to beating the stuffing out of someone repeatedly.

i also feel like that one girl who was introduced to the show really had more of an impact on bruce than is explored, because the show set them up almost like siblings. the girl, karen jennings i think? yeah, she was really close with thomas wayne before his death and he came to visit her often. he was involved in keeping her safe from the people at indian hollow (who moved there after pinewood was shut down).

karen suffered IMMENSELY under the hand of hugo strange, and during her short stay on the show, she and bruce got very close and developed what i personally see as an early sibling bond (and another example of bruce latching onto people and becoming emotionally involved way too quick, like, as a pattern).

anyway, hugo strange's mechanisms eventually end up getting karen brutally murdered right in front of bruce, so i feel like that could have a major effect on his mind, esp at that age and knowing what he does (or later did? my timeline there is fuzzy) about strange being involved in his parents' death.

because of his personal anger with him, deep-set mistrust of him (he likely heard about how he put a chip in ed's brain after penguin payed him to, essentially, revive him from the dead), and his respect for karen, he wouldn't ever get hugo involved, i believe.

as for barbara's paralyzation, i think that selina's side effects would play a huuuuge role here. in the show, when bruce gets the cure from ivy, she warns that it might have some side effects, and soon after, selina begins exhibiting animalistic and highly emotional traits, such as irrationality, extreme anger, low temper, excessive growling/hissing, etc.

it was during this time that bruce and selina's relationship was coming up on its time for both of them to decide what would happen next. after reunification, what would happen to both of them? would they still be a "they?"

even though both selina (deal with penguin) and bruce (helicopter, but also the interrupted dinner scene) want to leave gotham, either for good (selina) or for an extended period of time (bruce), neither of them are truly 100% involved in the discussion, which leads to communication issues, which is what eventually causes their breakup.

what i was more getting at bruce thinking here, however, i would say that bruce blames himself for getting her involved in the first place (as she literally did blame him, not that i can be mad at her), that she got shot because of him, and that he made the personal choice to force her to live on and feels responsible for taking the cure which gave her so many side effects (which she likes but he hates), bruce ultimately blames himself for their messy breakup and all of the pain that has caused.

which, of course, he hasn't processed at all, so instead he deflects it.

instead, he blames ivy and her weird eyeball-looking plant for taking away his best friend / girlfriend.

i definitely don't think that bruce would trust in ivy enough at this point in the timeline for her to be involved, but that i agree that (other than this) he (i fell asleep right here lol so im back now that it's morning) would totally do everything he possibly could to help barbara.

as for barbara kean---i'm going to be so real with you, i've been specifically not actually watching the series finale so i can stay on-track with bruce's line of thinking, so when i heard she got shot i honestly thought she died. i just checked last night and found out she got shot in the leg. so yeah, she's dead in this au. sorry guys 😭😭😭😭😭

i'm probably gonna go more in depth about this in the story, esp since i already thought she died LOL

so basically i'm giving babs extra childhood trauma (going the jim and bruce route with that), which honestly kinda fits because of the whole generational hero thing that jim and bruce kinda have going on (bruce's and jim's dads, jim passes it on to bruce, bruce passes it on to his kids, they both pass it on to babs).

more on that in the actual story LOL. i never really pictured barbara kean as working in the canon batfam universe anyway (just because penguin kinda has her niche). since in batfam canon it always seemed like she was at least primarily living with her dad, whereas barbara lee from gotham seems to be living primarily with her mom, and the only time i can see this changing is if something happened to her mom.

partially, i also think that babs herself had some sway in the whole not-going-to-ivy thing. barbara isn't a damsel in distress, and she likely wouldn't like bruce overstepping like that and just assuming that she wants to be cured just because selina did (not that she knew about selina being temporarily paralyzed, unless her dad told her). barbara doesn't see herself as any less of a person for her disabilty (which is good of course! though it took a little while for her to get used to everything and truly accept it) so she basically tells bruce to not get involved with any magic stuff for her.

the selina-barbara parallel is kinda crazy tho. i'm definitely gonna have to explore that in my fic (how bruce feels about it, selina, and babs of course).

bruce majorly spiraled after jason's death, so honestly i think that his mindset just wasn't in the best spot and that he wasn't doing okay mentally at all. honestly, he might have gone back to his old alcohol habits from his brucie phase (yes i know in gotham it's spelled brucey but i hate that) like some people headcanon.

basically, i don't really want to change any of the existing batfam canon as much as i can (like retconning barbara to have been cured, idk i just don't like that) and also i feel like bruce would never trust any of those people to be close to any of his loved ones haha.

thank you again so much for the ask!! hopefully this was intelligible, having been written on two different days. thank you so much for your support!! hopefully you like the story when you read it. feel free to send more asks anytime if you want!

[theskullkid]

On Supporting the Art, not the Artist

There’s a lot going around about the prospect of supporting the art, not the artist. It means that you still listen to what an artist makes despite the fact that the artist is a grade-A douchebag. I’m very much against it, but there’s a point that I’m going to attempt to get across here about it. There is a lot of grey area that happens to be involved in that argument.

It seems pretty straight forward and simple: If an artist you like, whether the art is music, or novels, or physical art (though in most cases, and one I’m going to be referring to the most, is music), royally fucks up in the most unforgivable way, then you stop listening to them. You have to. What they’ve done is strictly unforgivable and you can’t condone or support it. Drop the artist right then and there, and forget they exist. However, though, it’s NOT that simple. Sometimes, the art that the artist makes is much more than art to the listener.

A song IS more than art. A song is something that can grip your soul in a chokehold and smother it in such strong emotions and feelings that it can make you sob or laugh. Music can help someone feel safe. Music may not be able to offer you as much as therapy or family’s support when you’re in the toughest mental scrap you’ve ever been in, but it can help ease the pain. Music is so very powerful. Listeners, especially listeners who need the comfort, will latch onto music that addresses the things that they’ve gone through- or, rather, are GOING through- and use it like a lifeline, crying to it and singing to it and listening to it whenever they get the chance. Those songs connect to them emotionally.

For my lil’ argument here, I’m going to use Melanie Martinez and her music as an example. Melanie has written songs about ED’s, abusive home situations, kidnappings, SA, sexism.. The list goes on. There are people who listen to her that are victims of the same things that Melanie writes songs about. They listen to those songs as a form of coping, and as a form of comfort; it can give them a sense of support, that they aren’t alone, and it can give them something to relate to. And, like I said, there are people who are struggling with that kind of stuff RIGHT NOW, in the moment, who use those songs as a lifeline. Those songs could be the one thing keeping them alive right now.

Right now, Melanie is being faced with allegations of r-pe and SA. Allegations that seem extremely true.

Are you going to tell those listeners, who use her music to help themselves cope, to take their mind off of what they’re going through right now, that they shouldn’t listen to her anymore? Are you going to hate on them until they do stop? Are you going to send them death threats, or send them hateful messages, or tell them to k-ll themselves, just because they have an artist that they listen to for comfort in their time of struggle?

I’m not saying I support Melanie, or other artists like her. In fact, I’ll be the first to spit on her grave. I stopped listening to her. But just because I could, doesn’t mean that someone else who is EMOTIONALLY attached to her music, can, too. 

I’m not saying to support artists who do fucked up shit. I’m saying to ease up on the listeners who use their music as a way to comfort themselves. You don’t know what they’re going through, and with that in mind, you don’t know what they do to help them cope and process it. There are also times when the listener is just uneducated and doesn’t know what the artist did— to which i say to please educate them on the matter.

Now, with this in mind, I will say this. If you ARE a listener to uses a fucked artist’s music as a comfort mechanism, then I ask that you please find a way to listen to that music without directly supporting the artist. Listen to their songs through one of those lyric channels on YouTube, or find another way to listen to them without directly supporting them. Because, in the end, the artist still proved themselves to be a monster. And even if you are listening to their songs to cope, that still means that you’re supporting that monster. If their songs are the only things helping you, then yes, listen to them. But I hope and pray that you can one day break away from them. 

[retaurd]

So sorry if this is an annoying or repetitive question, but I’m in a similar family situation and I was curious if you experience maternal feelings toward your brother? Or if the knowledge that he is your brother and not your son is enough to stave this off? I’ve read accounts from surrogates where they develop a maternal attachment during pregnancy that makes the handoff of the baby really difficult. Was it easier since you’re not really being separated from your brother after birth? Again I’m sorry if this is something you’re tired of explaining, one of your posts about it floated across my dash and scrolling your blog for a while I haven’t seen any posts about it that could answer my questions without directly asking. Have a good one

hi! happy to answer, especially if it helps you in some way

to clarify, just in case: what i did isnt considered a surrogacy, but a gestational carry, because my own eggs were not used in any way. surrogacy, from my understanding now (because i had no idea there was a difference or that surrogacy entailed horrors when i started this ~1.5yr ago) is when a woman gives her own genetic material in the creation of the child, carries it, then the child is removed from her and raised by someone else. what i did was have a lil test tube guy, a week old fetus basically, implanted into me, a fetus that belongs(ed? he ain't a fetus no more) to my parents. all i did was help my mom out with gestating him. basically.

anyway to answer you: i've had a heavy hand in raising all of my siblings since i was about 12 years old so i think i have a weird relationship with maternalist feelings but i'll do my best to answer as clearly as i can because for me those waters are a bit muddied. for me the most clearly maternal i felt was immediately post-birth and i will explain. the entire time i was pregnant i was fine, i had a wonderful peaceful easy pregnancy (im pretty sure comparably, aside from a couple gallbladder attacks) without much stress or anxiety mostly, but the minute i saw him, and specifically saw other people, medical professionals, touching him, i got extremely emotional like rapturously overjoyed and then also extremely anxious. they had to take him a few times for a few tests, some examinations, a bath, et c., and i remember getting overwhelmingly anxious and upset that he was apart from me and that they could possibly hurt him because a lot of them are dumb as fuck but that's a separate grievance for another time

im lucky in that i have him half of the time, im with him during the night and early day and my mom is very very freely giving with him and i am as much involved as she and my dad are, just like with my other siblings. the first night i was home he was with my mom and i couldn't sleep just weepy and wondering what he was doing. literally. wondering what a newborn was doing lol. but after a few days for me this wore off as my hormones settled and my anxiety and worry relaxed about him getting hurt, that was a constant fear for the first like 4 or 5 days for me. sleeping helped my body and mind return to normalcy, i had a c-section so i am still recovering from that and my physical inability at the time also had something to do with my fears i think, i had this sense of inadequacy that i would fail him and being physically vulnerable didn't help

overall now, im fine i think. ask me again in a couple months though, who knows about then. i definitely get all the time with him i want or need. my mom from the beginning has been discussing the possible difficulty with me and i think ive organized things mentally well enough. i never thought of him as anything but my brother so i think that helped as well, i think if i wouldve basically poisoned myself into considering him to be my child it would've made things a million times harder as well as that being biologically untrue.

my parents trusted me to do this extremely important thing for them because i volunteered several times over the course of years and have worked to prove my responsibility to them. so it really felt like an act of love for me, i love them, i love my other siblings, i love the baby, i love everyone. all i wanted was to give more. and from the beginning my parents told me this isn't just their baby, it's 'our' baby, as in my whole family. thinking about it that way helped me too.

i hope this helped. i was very scared at some points and very nervous or fearful but nothing was ever as bad as i thought and i was never presented with anything i couldnt handle. please if you need or want to, come off anon and talk to me. im here for you if you need it, even if it is still anonymous but we are able to talk privately and i can do whatever i can to help, i'd be more than happy to. thank you for coming to me, i hope with all my heart that you're okay and your family too

[el3ctraaa]

Ok kind of a venty post with a happier ending?? Ummm tw for ed and sh??

Just met up w/ one of my friends for coffee today. Me and this friend go waayyyy back, we were mutuals back in my pro-ana Tumblr era in middle school, and coincidentally started working at the same fast food location 3 years later, it was kind like we were fated to be friends. But the thing about originally meeting someone when you're both extremely mentally unwell is that you only really know each other in the context of being extremely mentally unwell, and while you can escape the context sometimes you just don't?? We were kinda always in sync when I came to the ebs and flows of our life, October is always our worst month and June is always our best. We'd coincidentally relapse in the same week w/o telling each other etc etc. so I get to Starbucks and I think FINALLY I'm going to be around someone who isn't actually great all the fucking time (like literally every1 I go to school with). But we sit down and talk and I realize that wow her life is actually going really really well right now. And obviously I feel like shit because yet again I'm the shittiest person alive and then I feel like shit for feeling like shit because it's really great that her life is going so great. And then I realize that wow I'm actually alone now, like 1000% alone, I can't get over the eating disorder I've had on and off since I was 11, in fact it's worse now. I'm usually only like a once or twice a day purger and now I've turned to a five times a dayer. It feels like I'm just the only one in the world who's miserable all the fucking time. I can't get through a fucking math assignment without cutting, I can't go to class if I don't carry around a my fucking emotional support razor blade because it's the only thing that actually helps my anxiety. I feel like I'm being watched 24/7 and there's def someone following me b/c I see them every shift I work and on campus every day and when I'm crossing the street, but what if this is just another Madi is fucking psycho case instead of like someone actually stalking me??? So I don't like leaving my room w/o meeting up with someone else because what if something awful happens to me? But I can't tell anyone because what if I'm just being paranoid?? And everyone hates me to so who the fuck would I even tell. I'm falling behind in all my classes, I'm falling behind in extracurriculars, I'm falling behind in just the whole fucking living thing, and I just hate falling behind all the fucking time in everything I do. So then I thought hey why is this month so bad, because I know October is bad b/c it's always bad. But this October really isn't as bad as past Octobers right? I got my period which I usually don't for the entirety of fall, my hair isn't falling out, I've only called the suicide hotline once this month compared to my three times per October average. And then I thought hey the average person actually calls the suicide hotline 0 times per October and doesn't lose their period for a quarter of the year every year. And so yeah now I'm actually going to get professional help b/c it's so fucking stupid that I'm still the same way that I was when I was 11 when everyone else around me gets to actually grow up and move on with their lives 👍👍 and I'm posting this here so that I actually hold myself accountable b/c I told my Internet friends I would do it so now I have to do it.

[skyborneveggie]

20 Questions for Fic Writers

(I was not tagged, but I saw @rose-of-pollux post this form a few weeks ago & it looked fun)

How many works do you have on AO3?

I have 38 works under my username on ao3. I also have 17 anon-ed fics from a fandom I no longer wish to associate with, and a handful of fics on ff.net that I didn't like enough to transfer to ao3.

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 29,645 words

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Right now only feeling inspired to write for The Man from UNCLE TV show. Though I did post a Good Omens fic this year, & I could probably persuade myself to write another oneshot or two for that.

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Idyllism (2016) [Rory & 11th Doctor; Gen but pairings if you like]

The Falliable Pillar (2016) [Onesided Kyouya Ootori/Tamaki Suoh]

1991 (2019) [Illya Kuryakin/Napoleon Solo]

Child's Play (2018) [FrostIron; unfinished & probably will remain so]

Me Paenitet (2011) [Onesided Draco Malfoy/Luna Lovegood, Onesided Astoria Greengras/Draco Malfoy]

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

I do always try to thank the person for reading. I usually only forget if it's a comment on a very old fic.

6. What’s the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

This is extremely hard for me to answer. Out of the 50+ fics I've written, probably only 5 of them are not angst. My Good Omens fic Aeternum has the most gutting descriptions, but I have always felt that the absolute sucker punch at the end of Provocation (X/1999) hurt the most to write, & to reread.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Oh undoubtedly my MFU contemporary High School AU, The Puzzle.

8. Do you get hate on fics?

I have never gotten hate, but I have gotten backhanded compliments that I personally find hilarious. I made a post about it before here.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind?

I... have attempted to write smut, but I don't think I necessarily succeeded. I have written several sex scenes with undetailed descriptions, and the one time I did attempt to be explicit the comments and I both agree that it came out sounding rather clinical. So I dunno if either of those situations really count.

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I have written several crossovers, but I wouldn't consider any of them crazy.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

I don't think so, I don't think any of my fics have ever gotten popular enough for anyone to want to steal haha.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

I used to translate my own fics into Spanish wayyy back when I first started writing, but I haven't done that in ages.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

No but it sounds like fun! Would love to give it a shot some day.

14. What’s your all-time favourite ship?

Napoleon Solo/Illya Kuryakin. I am like Smeagol; I'm "interested in roots and beginnings." And how much closer to the root of contemporary fandom can you get, than with these two silly beans?

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

I would love to finish my 2019 Good Omens fic Temporalia because I think there are some good ideas & beautiful passages in there. The problem is that my interpretation of the characters has changed, & is no longer consistent with some of the details I wrote back then. I'd also like to complete my 2018 FrostIron fic someday, just for the sake of finishing it. It was entirely plotted when I quit on it, and I still have all my notes.

16. What are your writing strengths?

I think I am good at writing turmoil, inner confusion, and despair. I try to wring every ounce of angst out of descriptions, letting the character's distress color their perception of their environment, and I think I'm pretty decent at it. I also think I'm pretty good at expressing complex emotions without being too direct, though sometimes I worry that I'm too indirect & that I'll leave readers confused.

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

PLOT, I am extremely impatient when writing scenes where things actually happen. Also dialogue, I always feel that my dialogue either just does not sound realistic, or does not sound like the characters.

Another huge writing weakness is that I am incapable of writing anything longer than short story length, & have abandoned every attempt at a longfic after the 2nd chapter.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic?

I have done this in the past for characters who canonically do this. I know it is standard practice to italicize all foreign language words when writing, but I personally find this VERY jarring. I generally leave foreign dialogue unitalicized & formatted indistinguishably from the primary language dialogue. But I think I may be the only one with this pet peeve, because I have received a few complaints about my lack of italicization from readers.

I could go way more in depth as to why the italics on foreign words annoy me, but I don't think anyone would be interested in hearing that rant 😂

19. First fandom you wrote for?

The Suite Life of Zack and Cody. It was 2008. That fic has been scrubbed from the internet lol.

20. Favourite fic you’ve ever written?

Provocation (X/1999). It was the one and only time I'd ever written something and then thought "Ah. Yes. This is an absolutely perfect execution of my vision."

Tagging @theniftycat, @tenok, & @lunetta-suzie-jewel if you like, or anyone else who wants to do this. (@andorianimpostor I'm not sure if you write fic or not, but I thought I'd tag you in case you do)

[theylovewamiii]

Reflective Essay

By Jhamel John T. Reyes

Any individual wishes for a whole and happy family. Having dinner at night together, praying and serving God together, connection within and outside the house, and most importantly, spreading love to all family members. Whatever the cause of the family problem, it can be overcome by sticking together, supporting and helping one another. That's what I saw in Leron F. Aarons's film Prayers for Bobby. This is not your typical movie about prayers; it is also about LGBT acceptance. Bobby Griffith, a young man who lived in a small town in the United States in the early 1980s, is the subject of the film Prayers for Bobby. It's the beginning of the AIDS epidemic, and the presumption in homosexuality is growing. In this story, I just wanted to express how grateful I am for his story, as tragic and sad as it is. The entire world is wanting to share and going to support it. And he appears to be a genuine, sympathetic guy, and after watching the movie, I feel so much sadness for other Bobbys out there Bobbys who have religious, ignorant parents and don't prioritize love. It revolved around the Griffiths, a family of six members led by Robert Griffith, the father and husband, and Mary Griffith, the mother of four children and Robert's wife. Ed Griffith is the oldest of the four, followed by Bobby Griffith, Joy Griffith, and Nancy Griffith. Bobby does not want to tell his mother about his homosexuality, but his brother did. Then came the emotional journey that led Bobby to take his own life.

         Prayers for Bobby is based on a true story about a man who is fighting to not be a homosexual because of our judgmental society. This is a concerning situation in our community because other people and religious groups cannot accept the fact that there are gays and lesbians who are attempting to express themselves through who they are, how they dress, and how they see themselves in the future with the same sex partner. Since the 1970s, much of the world has become more accepting of homosexual acts and relationships. Since that year, homosexuals have been free to express themselves, but there are some families, specifically a religious family, who do not accept their children to be that type of person.That is precisely what happens in the movie Prayers for Bobby they try to prevent Bobby from becoming homosexual because it is a sin, her mother wants them to be together in the afterlife that is what her mother is thinking, not their current life. Mary begins to doubt her faith after her son's suicide because Bobby killed himself and she wonders what will happen to his soul. After much soul searching, Mary came to the harsh realization that there was nothing wrong with Bobby in God's eyes. Reality hits Mary when she loses her son as a result of what she sees on the surface of the Bible without delving deeper into what the true message of the Bible is.

         To be sincere, I found this film interesting because it is very realistic and relatable to human life; even though I am not a homosexual, it is relatable because of faith and family love. I was both happy and sad. I'm happy because their family did everything they could to keep one of their family members, Bobby, from becoming a homosexual, which the Bible says is a sin. And what her mother thinks. I am extremely disappointed with the outcome that Bobby ended his life as a result of those problems; they did not support Bobby in his happiness; they support Bobby in being cured and not being a homosexual, which is very disappointing to hear from his own family.Mary loves her son so deeply that she did every thing she could to save him from homosexuality, which she believes is a sin. That is what a mother's love can do for her son,  she is already planning her family's afterlife while living in the present. This is a meaningful film, a very meaningful film with many moral lessons. Unlike other films with similar plots and limited thrills, this one is unique. Every setting in the story was amazing to me, as were the actors, the story, and the sound and light effects. The story's flow is simply amazing to watch. A family will not survive any problem, no matter how it appears if love is not visible and felt within the family. A family that lacks love is an indication that the family is unhealthy. For me, the love within the family helps them survive and overcome the loss of one of their family members; they see Bobby's worth when he is already dead, which is sad to think about, but it is relevant today. Obviously, I like this movie a lot. I like everything about it because of the true-to-life story that drew me in. And the moral lessons that I've learned here are very prevalent. You can't live without adversity, so keep fighting.

5 STAGES OF GRIEF

         As I reflect on the five stages of grief, I will begin with DENIAL. I could indeed pertain to the definition of this stage. Because I'm always naughty to my parents in my condition. I let myself set aside and lock myself in my room if they were going to argue with me. I don't want to hear all of their yelling. Then, in the film, Bobby and his/her mother argue, and Bobby decides to declare that he is gay. But his/her mother refuses to accept Bobby's confession. The following stage is ANGER. I'm somewhat related to the stage of anger because I'm always frustrated, upset, and I have anger issues that I can cure by playing Basketball at the court. Moving on to the topic, in the film, her mother argued with each other, and they stopped talking, implying that both of them are angry. The third stage is BARGAINING. It's almost like reaching an agreement at this point. Bobby is now challenging himself to her problems in the film, but he can't handle them one at a time. To be honest, I can't relate to the mentioned stage because I'm happy and free these days. I have no objections. The second to last stage is DEPRESSION, which many teenagers experience. Bobby is now depressed in the film. He can no longer deal with his problems and decides to commit suicide. That is not the mindset I want in my current situation. Because we're only children. We don't yet have jobs, nor do we have academic titles. So Why? Be cautious about the goals we set for ourselves. Finally, the final stage is ACCEPTANCE, because in the story, Bobby's mother accepts her gay son and decides to join an LGBT program to support LGBT people. In my situation, my Mom and I accept each other, which is a good thing because I'm fortunate to have a mother who accepts who I am. She accepts me despite the fact that I am not a typical boy.

[jelenina]

Hey, since im technically an aunt/uncle now, i thought id share this (this is from my personal experience).

Cutlery theory, regardless of nt/nd: everyone has an amount of spoons, and everyone has bad days. Sometimes, you can get through a day without any negative effects. Sometimes, getting out of bed and showering takes so many spoons that you dissociate or breakdown. If you have a child, make sure to check in, see whats worrying them, or just ask and see if its a bad day or not. On bad days, even a single fork can be too much - just one thing too many that pushes you into a breakdown. Sometimes, its lots of little forks, and what you need to do is help out where possible to get rid of said forks. Taking a knife out means being prepared for blood - this applies to many things, but mostly trauma and anxiety over pretty much anything. Solving a problem may have some side effects. Pay attention to them.

Emotional availability and acceptance: i cannot state this enough. You have a kid now. They are alive, and they need to have someone to confide in when this shitty world wears them out. It does not matter whether there lgbtq+, or don't follow your religion, they are entitled to their own experience. They didn't ask to be here.

Time, for creations and for experiences: in most cases, you decided to have this kid. That means you decided you have the time for them. If they make something, engage them about it. Spend time with them. Make sure you are available to them as much as possible. If you have a spouse or someone who is helping raise the child, this is on them too. Make sure you child knows who you are. Make sure your child knows they have parents.

Physical abuse: there is NEVER an excuse for hitting a child. Ever. The only thing you teach them is fear of you. Explain that what they did was wrong, reward them for good behaviour, but NEVER hurt them.

Emotional and verbal abuse, guilt tripping, positive affirmation: children take everything you do into account. Telling them their emotions are invalid, or that they're lazy, will make them distrust you, or ingrain self deprecation into them. Tell them what they do is good, praise them for creativity and work.

Diagnosis: if they say they think they have depression, which, in this economy, is extremely likely, fucking listen. If you can, try get a diagnosis. If it doesn't come out with anything, then still listen to them - what they say is not without reason. Help them - you may be able to ease at least something.

Degrading/ downgrading: it matters if what you went through was worse. It probably was. But that is NOT an excuse to downgrade your child for suffering. What they are going through still hurts them. Pay attention. Help them where possible. If you can't, speak to a professional, or someone who you trust, then go from there. Keep your child in the loop - they are the one experiencing it.

New experiences and reactions: a child will not know what a broken arm feels like until it happens, so they will be scared and hurt. But this goes for everything: a skinned knee, which may not seem that bad to you, may feel like the worst ever experience to them - because it might be. Let them react, then comfort them and help them goddamnit. They are a child. They cannot do it themselves.

Sex ed: especially if they are afab, but regardless honestly. Tell them how periods work, tell them how UTI's work, tell them about condoms and birth control and abortion. They will need to know. We do not need another generation of people that don't know what a fucking period is.

Hard skills: tell them how to work a computer. Teach them how to cook, to sew, to garden, to write, to iron a shirt, to clean a bathroom, to unblock a sink, to take care of themselves. Don't make them do it for you, that is your job. But make sure they know how.

Responsibility - oldest/middle/youngest/only differences: the whole 'joke' of parents favouring the youngest child, the middle child being forgotten, the eldest doing all the work? Do not. Yes, you are a new parent. Yes, your experience will only grow. Do not let your children bear the burden of it. They are your responsibility, not your trophy or slave.

Truth and fairness, morality, objectiveness, echo chambers: teach your child to fact check, to know good from bad where possible, and the ability to use logic where needed. So few people nowadays do, and thats how you get social media echo chambers.

Internalised isms, stereotypes: you will have some internalised shit. Full stop. Make sure you talk to people, make sure you try to find out what they are, before you pass them on. Racism, sexism, ableism, homophobia, antisemitism, the list goes on. You may not think you do, and you might not! But fucking check. Before you ingrain it in your child.

Generational trauma: this kinda ties in with a few things here. You will think some things are acceptable, just because thats how you were raised. You may not realise it - i sure didn't, until i talked about it with close friends and i realised i had internalised a lot of shit that, if i had a kid, i would have unwittingly passed it on to.

Respect, boundaries for both sides: you will need some alone time every now and then. So will they. Privacy is always important, but especially then. Knock on their door, ask if they are alright talking, and they will do it back. This teaches respect and politeness too - respect is built and earned, not an automatic feature. Respect them. They will respect you.

This is not an exhaustive list. This is mostly what my experiences taught me. I am so, so tired. Please stop fucking up your children. Please add to this list.

[deardragonbook]

Ways parents can fail children without even realizing it

TW: Mentions of mild child neglect, EDs, physical and mental health.

Sorry for not posting in a while but I just got back from a family holiday. The fact this is the first post I write probably isn’t a good sign but I think this is an interesting topic. 

First, what do I mean by failing a child? Well, I mean that pain is inflicted, either emotional or physical. But in this case without realizing it, I’m not talking obvious physical or verbal abuse. Most of what I’m going to talk about is more ignorance than anything else. But it’s a great way to make characters more distant with their parents without having to make the parents bad people. 

1.- The assumptions that children exaggerate their pain. I’ve seen this so often it’s painful. When a child complains they’re in pain, when they cry and scream for help, parents often treat this as a tantrum and don’t stop to consider perhaps they are actually in a lot of pain. 

As well as illness another thing to consider is, how many of you have had your parents laugh after you fall down and start crying before stopping to check if you’re okay? This can also be emotionally damaging when a child is actually hurt. 

This kind of ignorance can also cause food intolerances to be ignored and be forced to continue eating foods that cause us harm because they’re healthy. 

2.- Failure to recognize your children are different to you. This can be both physical and metal. I think the fastest way to explain this is through two examples: 

1.- Physical. My mother has straight hair, mine is curly. If you don’t know, curly hair requires a very different treatment to straight hair. As a child I recall my mother putting huge emphasis on brushing my hair every morning, I did as I was told and every morning my hair looked worse than before brushing it. It’d be all fizzy and just not nice to touch. My mother saw this as either me not brushing it, or when she saw me brushing it, that I was somehow doing something wrong. When I realized my hair was much better when I didn’t brush it and just combed it in the shower, she was having none of it. It wasn’t until I moved out I was allowed to do what I wanted with my hair and it looks much better now. 

That bad hair care not only affected my mental image of myself, I suffered bullying at school and constant criticism from my mother. When I never got the tools to properly care for my hair. 

2.- Mental. This one is far more obvious. If you have anxiety or any other mental issue that your parents don’t have, convincing them those feelings are real is extremely difficult, sometimes, near impossible. 

But even more simple than that, I study best with music on, if there’s no music I will listen to conversations on the street and not be able to study. My parents studied best in quiet. They forced me to study in a way that didn’t work for me just because it had worked for them. 

3.- Teaching children to save but not to spend. This one is a bit weird but stick with me. As a child I was given very little in material goods, which is fine, if ever I wanted something the answer was you can get with your own money. Okay, teaches children to spend money responsibly! Except the issue was, at the age of fourteen, I needed a computer for school and stuff. Computers are expensive. My pocket money was 5 euros a week. To earn that pocket money I literally ran the house (my father was ill, I ran the house because I was the oldest, my siblings were only like ten and five or something), to save up for a computer I needed to not spend any money during my childhood. I didn’t have new toys or actual hobbies. I also never went out with friends to eat or have drinks or go to the pool. 

Like I’ve said, my parents didn’t mean to take away my childhood. My father wasn’t at fault for being ill. The issue for me was the fact my parents were well-off. My sister at this same age (and I’m happy for her) gets sixty-five euros. The computer ended up being a family computer. I used it to manage the entire house’s administrative work. I let my sibling use it for school later on. It went to my father for work when I left home and bought a laptop. 

And as an adult who lives alone, the amount of anxiety I feel when spending money is... well, I lived off five euros a week during my first few years. I wasn’t eating enough or healthy. I’ve improved, but even now I’m still the person who finds the cheapest thing on the menu and always has that. 

And that’s a trauma they taught me. 

Had spending money been an option during my childhood, I perhaps would have learnt to spend as well as save. But I was taught to save to an extreme point and still do today. 

This is very specific. But there are many ways parents end up teaching traumas while trying to teach healthy habits. A lot of EDs come from home for example. It’s very difficult to stop and think about the long-term consequences of certain actions. 

4.- Body image. I knew what dieting was at the age of three because my mother struggle with her image. I knew I was chubby at the age of four. My mother still talks about my fat phase when I was pre-teen. I don’t even know if it was real at this point though, because at sixteen I was told by my doctor was I worrying under-weight, and my mother told me I was fat. I believed my mother over my doctor until she told me to not be surprised if my summer clothing didn’t fit because I’d put on weight. When every single item I tried on was baggy, I stopped listening to her. She probably still thinks it stretched out while in storage. But I know I stopped fainting when I started eating. 

To this day, my mother reminds me how I musn’t eat desserts and how much better I’d look if I just lost a bit of weight. 

I know from how she talks about herself that it’s more a reflection of her mental health than mine. But the inability to separate our issues from our children’s issues is dangerous. 

Trauma shouldn’t be hereditary. And for that, we need to take a step back and evaluate our beliefs. 

Anyway... that’s enough of my trauma turned into writing advice for one day! 

I’m sorry if this was a bit heavy, I promise to write something lighter soon! 

It’s been a really weird summer for me. I’m sorry I haven’t been active but just seeing the notification from tumblr and other social medias has given me a lot of comfort these months. 

So, thank you for being here! Remember, everything changes, and if things aren’t going great today, that doesn’t mean two years down the line things can’t be better. Sometimes all we can do is wait things out. Hoping you find something to smile about today. 

And, as usual if you want to check out my book, an activity book I have, my free stories or other social medias, all of that and more can be found here.

[knowlesian]

sorry for spamming your inbox, but your posts are giving me a lot of feelings

when we get a reconciliation in season two, I absolutely want to see Stede apologize to Ed for making him feel abandoned and alone because he knew Ed was waiting for him and he made a choice to leave him without any word

but I also want to see Ed's reaction to hearing why Stede didn't show up that night. because Stede was abducted at gunpoint by someone who wanted to kill him. up until Chauncey shot himself, Stede was in very real danger and rightly feared for his life. that alone is traumatizing, and then you pile on Chauncey throwing every one of his insecurities and perceived failures in his face (tough enough to hear at a regular time, let alone in a state of heightened anxiety and fear) and then Chauncey blew his brains out in front of Stede, who almost immediately convinced himself that this death was his fault, too.

I wanna see Ed's reaction to that, because you know Stede would try to downplay what happened, or blame himself for it, and I think Stede really needs someone to tell him that Chauncey was wrong and his death was not Stede's fault

DO NOT APOLOGIZE i’m gonna take this moment to have feelings back in casual form while i eat dinner

because like, that’s the thing i love about this show: a lot of media has like, the steady character and the troubled character and it’s the steady one’s job to be so fucking healthy they NEVER need help and play emotional support staff. 

instead, everybody here supports each other, in turn. it’s why i cry AND scream when jim returns to olu when he most needs it and least expects them to roll back up. that's how the ideal peak of being in a relationship works, in the ideal world where somehow the “i’m having a good week” and the “i’m having a bad week” hats swap off in turn.

that’s the heartbreaking thing (lol “the”, it’s all a gut punch) about what happens with ed and stede. in a perfect world, stede would have been able to see past how much he’s internally terrified he is not worth love and known that the best answer here was: go talk to ed. explain this fear, and then they both go back so stede can makes amends to mary and the kids. 

but he’s scared, it’s the middle of the fucking night and he just saw his worst nightmare play itself out AGAIN after yelling all the gross, middle of the night things he’s terrified of in his fucking face and confirming he’s right to think any of it. (shades of izzy and ed!!!! ohhhh, this show.)

because in another perfect world, ed would have seen past izzy’s own protective shield to the mountains of fear beneath and kindly but firmly told him no, izzy. we do talent shows now. you don’t like it? the door’s thattaway, but i wish you would unclench for half a second and give enjoying literally anything without making it weird or violent a try.

we do not live in a perfect world!!! these are both imperfect men, who have been damaged by the world around them; they aren’t always going to make the optimal choices when under extreme emotional stress, much like... everyone ever. in the history of the world. ever.

and even beyond that: they are playing the roles the world told them they should play, in these moments. (it’s all an act, the LITERAL SHOW SAID.)

which is part of why i’m so excited to see them eventually find a way back to each other again, because even if stede is gonna have to do some heavy lifting here to push past ed’s instinct to protect himself from being hurt again, they fucking love each other. when ed hurts, stede hurts; when stede hurts, ed hurts. (and, i would bet, a lot of ed’s anger comes from the motivations he can’t help but read into being left. getting left just sucks no matter how you slice it, but look what happened with mary when stede was finally honest with her. i think this show is ready to see ed and stede validate each other in a very similar way.)

[cononeillbreastingboobily]

If Lucius is the heart, Izzy is the brain

There's been multiple takes about how Lucius is the heart of the crew of the Revenge. Now, I started thinking, what other organs different characters could be, symbolically. This post focuses on Lucius and Izzy, and how they compliment each other, both as people, and as parts of the story.

Things could change drastically when the next seasons of the show arrive.

Lucius: the heart

Let's get the easiest one out of the way: Lucius is the heart of the Revenge, and of the story as well in some regard. He mostly deals with feelings, relationships (I'm fantastic at breakups) and art (Have you ever been sketched?). His main function on the ship for most of season 1 is recording what the crew gets up to in a journal that managed to save Stede's skin in episode 9. Recording memories, whether it's by writing diaries, taking photos, scrapbooking etc. has an air of sentimentality to it, so that further proves that he's definitely the heart of the story.

He's also extremely well-versed in the matters of emotions - he's able to read someone with stunning accuracy, learning what makes them tick. And he doesn't necessarily resort to manipulation to get what he wants! Okay, sometimes he does (Has anyone ever told you you have stunning cheekbones?) but when it comes down to it, he's genuinely nice, kind and protective of those he holds dear. He's trustworthy, and he uses that trust for good: helping others when they're in need. He's quite hedonistic and self-serving at times, avoiding hard work like the plague, but he always has other people in mind - he's the one who retrieved Jim's dagger, called out Ed for not appreciating Stede (that bizarre little man likes you very much) and finally, he's the one who whipped out the journal Stede had him write at just the right moment, and read just the right passage from it, which, combined with an intervention from Oluwande, culminated in Stede being pronounced a real pirate captain, and avoiding being executed by the firing squad.

Izzy: the brain

I'm not sure if you'd agree with me or not, but this made more and more sense to me the more I thought about it. He's juxtaposed with Lucius many times over, and that alone can really make you think, can't it? He can be cold, manipulative, calculating. He's task-oriented (Edward, focus) and seems to be disconnected from his emotions a lot of the time. When Ed can't bring himself to kill Stede, he immediately offers to do it for him. We know that back in the day, Izzy would do the killing back when Blackbeard was active, as Ed says the only person he's ever killed was his father (whether that's true is debatable in my opinion, buuut). So, for anyone else killing another person would be something horrible to do, the absolutely last resort that would leave them traumatized, right? For Izzy it's just another Friday.

He's incredibly driven and doesn't do well with obstacles in his way. Stede, and the entire crew of the Revenge, is one big obstacle for him - it's keeping Blackbeard from re-emerging, so they could go back to what he considers the "good old days" of maiming, looting and killing, back when he was at the side of his fearsome, legendary captain.

I think that putting these two together, while also opposite each other, works incredibly well for one big reason: just like the heart and the brain in the human body, the story needs both of them to truly work and be in balance. I mean, listen - the moment Lucius was off the ship, Ed went back to his Blackbeard persona, even though it doesn't really fit him anymore. It wasn't when Ed came back without Stede. It was when he threw Lucius overboard that things truly went to shit. And before Blackbeard and his three companions came onto the Revenge? The story was a silly comedy about a guy who tries and fails very hard to be a proper pirate captain. And while that definitely has its charm, there's no doubt that with Izzy around we got some real piracy on our hands.

Though they seem like two very opposing forces, I think there's actually sooo much more at play, that could happen in the future iterations of the story. I think if we got to know more about Izzy, we would learn things that could prove, that he and Lucius are a lot more similar than he would like.

All of that is to say, I think that if we want Ed and Stede to get back together, it won't happen unless Lucius comes back. I think that even if Ed and Stede do meet at some point in season 2, they will have trouble seeing eye to eye until Lucius is there, whether to actually intervene or just to be around, really. Only then will the story regain balance. It needs both Izzy and Lucius. Too much of just one won't do them any good. They need to work together, and whether they will realise that is an entirely different thing.

[assassins-and-hidden-blades]

Trust Me -- Part 2

02/06/2021: Wow, uh, wow. This one got me. Almost started crying at the cheesy ending. I will cringe at it in precisely two months from now. Thank you guys SO much for all the positive feedback of PART 1, it really helped me finish this part. Without you guys, this would have been still sitting in my drafts. There's lowkey a bit of pressure in this actually being GOOD, so I'm sitting here with a bit of Imposter SyndromeTM and crossing everything I can cross that you guys like it. I can't tell whether I went overboard or not, though... I guess that's for you guys to tell me lmao.

Also, these commas can be pried from my very cold, extremely dead, fingers.

As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! For the first time in almost ever, I'm a bit very nervous to post this -- I hope you enjoy it!!

Tagging: @marshmallow--3 // @yourlocalfrenchie // @rahdaleigh // @sofiewithat /// @iceboundstar // @mythandmagik // @itseivwhore // @pink-polarfox // @missbenzayb // @ct-5445 // @timbreavery // @dacian-assassin // @thepalaceofmelanie // @asilverraven // @huntheimpossible // @eclectic--assassin // @thehistorynut19 // @ta-ka-shi-ma // @roki3chocoa // @fandomsfanman // @le-nottibianche // @bandit-brunsmeier // @starmoji1 // @spocktheestallion // @salty-thembo // @missingfrye // @xdeimos // If you want to be tagged, let me know!!

Warnings: Lots of swearing, a bit of graphic violence, implicit mention of sexual assault (I hope it's not a spoiler to say that this does not actually happen, but the idea is used as manipulation. It's not done well, but I'm blaming that on the character being a horrible liar, instead of me sucking at write arseholes), implied character death.

Pairing: Edward Kenway x F!Reader

Assassin's Creed Mobile Masterlist

Red Dead Redemption 2 Mobile Masterlist

The neighbouring ship was chaotic. The opponents were drunk on victory, so slipping through unnoticed was easy. The hard part was going to be staying undercover until you could free Edward and the rest of the crew without anyone falling casualty. “Strip them of their weapons and take them to the brig!” You heard the Quartermaster yell. Thinking quickly, you moved to Edward; if you knew where his weapons were, escaping could be much easier. People were already pulling out his pistols and cutlasses, fortunately dumping them in your arms. Looking around, you pulled away to hide them in an inconspicuous barrel for later.

You weren’t planning on staying long.

Quickly rejoining the group, you took hold of one of your crew members -- you recognised him as one named Jonah -- at the back of the crowd, keeping your face covered lest they accidentally reveal your identity. You kept your eye on Edward’s tense shoulders the entire time, heading below deck and to the rows of cells at the end of the ship.

As you gently pushed Jonah into the cell, someone slammed the door shut, chucking the ring of keys your way. “Lock ‘em up.” Swallowing, you nodded, feeling uncomfortable under their gaze while turning the key in the lock. Taking them out of your hands, a mop and bucket was shoved in its place. “You’re on cleaning duty, starting upstairs; let’s go.” With one last glance, your eyes scoured for Edward before they all disappeared from view.

----------

Edward

There was this crushing anxiety he just couldn’t shake. It rendered him almost motionless, crouched in the corner of the cell, picking at his sleeves. There was a commotion heading towards them; he was in for company he was not in the mood for.

Heavy footsteps gave away the visitor. “We searched your boat.” His crew parted to clear a view as Charles Marlowe relaxed against the cell bars. “We found your woman.”

Edward’s eyes snapped to Marlowe’s as he clenched his jaw, almost daring him to say more.

With a chuckle and a disgusting grin, he brought out a small knife to clean. “Don’t you want to know where she is?”

“I expect you’d would tell me regardless.”

“I would advise against winding me up, Kenway. I could always take my anger out on her instead.”

It took a second for Edward’s arms to fly through the bars, constricting around Marlowe’s throat. “What have you done with her?”

Although cold metal pressed against his jaw, he didn’t ease up.

“She’s waiting for me very nicely... in my cabin.”

Edward didn’t have to think very hard to infer his meaning.

“I’ll kill you if you touch her. I’ll kill you.” Growling, he held impossibly tighter, for if he was here, he wasn’t there.

“With your actions come consequences, Kenway. And you might not be the one paying for them.”

A dilemma came to mind: delay him to keep him away from you, or risk the consequences of his revenge?

Somewhat luckily, he didn’t need to choose.

Before Edward could comprehend that he loosened his grip, Marlowe slipped out of his grasp. The distraught Captain pressed himself against the bars, anger drenching his expression as he heaved out breaths. His captor laughed. “You’re very good at empty threats, Kenway.”

“It’s not a threat. It’s a promise.” His cold tone streaked through the crew, setting hairs on end. They had never heard their Captain like this before; so angry, so dangerous.

It terrified them.

“That remains to be seen. In the meantime…” With a mocking whistling tune, Marlowe spun on his heels and began to walk away.

“Come back here, bilge rat!” He pulled harshly against the cell door. “Don’t you dare touch her!”

“Then you better stay in line.”

As he disappeared from view, Edward’s emotions overwhelmed him, frustrated tears coming to his eyes. He turned to a solid wall, slamming the side of his fist against it and yelled.

Fear, anger, guilt, and grief echoed around the brig.

Collapsing against the wood, he hid his face in his hands, aiming to either calm himself or hide his inevitable breakdown.

----------

Y/N

“Finish up downstairs.” Nodding affirmatively, you picked up the mop bucket and eagerly headed beneath deck, having to consciously slow down to avoid suspicion. You were glad you were disguised in the uniform of Marlowe’s crew instead of the rags of the common sailors aboard; it would’ve made the job much harder than it had to be.

Keeping a level head, you walked past the cell holding your family and placed the mop bucket against the wall, scanning the deck.

Empty.

Sighing in relief, you realised that you were alone with your crew at last. As you pulled the covering off of your face, you shushed frantically, the cell almost erupting into cheers. You gestured for them to part, eyeing Edward, almost balled up in the corner of the cell. “Hey, Ed,” you whispered, watching as his head snapped up to you, eyes widening.

Scrambling up, he strode to the bars in a second, reaching through the gaps to hold you. “Thank Christ…” he exhaled in relief, bringing your forehead to his lips between the bars. You pulled away after a few moments, sharing relieved glances. “Are you hurt? Did they do anything to you?” he asked, eyes scanning you for any sign of injuries.

“No, no, I’m okay. Are you alright? Did we lose anyone?”

“I’m... fine; I haven’t done a head count yet.”

You didn’t reply, watching as Jonah came up to tap Edward on the shoulder. “Capt’n?”

He turned around, withdrawing his hands as Ryan came into view. “I can’t find my da’.” His voice was barely stable, cheeks stained with tear tracks. For a second, you both exchanged sorrowful glances.

Edward crouched down, ruffling his hair. “He’ll be around, lad. We just have to find him. Maybe he’s escaped and is planning his own rescue mission for us.”

Ryan nodded, wanting to believe him. Meanwhile, Edward stood and brought Jonah close, leaning to whisper in his ear. He withdrew, a willing but uncertain look on his face. Both retreated back into the small crowd.

“What did you tell him?” you asked.

“...That he has to look after Ryan now.”

You squeezed your eyes shut to stave off tears. “Shit.”

His fingers gently grazed your cheek. “Are you sure you’re alright? Does Marlowe know you’re here?”

Frowning, you shook your head. “I wouldn’t have thought so; if he did, I’d be stuck in there with you.”

His expression was nearly unreadable, but you could sense his anxiety. “I saw him come from here a few moments ago. What was he saying?”

“He…” Pausing for a moment, Edward swallowed. “Just Templar bullshit.”

You scoffed at the notion. “Of course he did. Look, I know how to get out of this.”

“I’ll take anything at this point.” Although his tone was sarcastic, you could tell that for the first time, he didn’t know what to do.

“He needs to die.”

Edward froze, brows narrowing, realising your intention. “No, Y/N, no.”

“‘No’ was an option in Nassau, but we don’t have that choice--”

“No, there must be another way -- “

“There is no other way! This is our only chance--”

“Are you hearing me?! He--”

“Do you understand the situation we’re in?!”

“No, Y/N, please--”

“All it takes is--”

“Just LISTEN to me!” He hissed through gritted teeth, grasping your arm to give it a sharp shake to stop you talking over him. The shock threw you into silence. Lowering his voice, he continued. “If you make so much as one mistake, he won’t just kill you; he’ll make you wish you were dead. Please, please, don’t do this.”

You were stunned. You’ve never seen him so adamant about staying your blade. The desperation in his tone threw you off; you’ve never heard him this serious -- this frantic -- before.

Edward grabbed one of your hands in both of his, bringing your knuckles to rest against his lips. “I love you… with everything I have; I can’t lose you. Not if I can help it,” he murmured, closing his eyes. Your heart broke as you watched a tear escape, trailing down his skin.

“Okay, okay.” You rarely saw Edward cry, and when you did, it was usually due to either drinking or laughing. He took a small, shuddering breath, trying to compose himself.

“We wait for Adé. Then we’ll think about Marlowe.”

“Alright, okay. Hey...” you caressed his jaw. “I’m okay. We’ll be okay. Trust me.”

You heard ruckus above the deck. “Someone’s coming.” Both of you broke away like shrapnel, Edward sitting himself on the floor while you mopped, facing the wall.

And that was how things were.

----------

A couple of weeks had passed since the crew was abducted from the Jackdaw. Everyone had been forced to labour on the deck, doing various jobs, from scrubbing floors to adjusting sails to everything in between. Adé was nowhere to be seen; whether he was hidden on deck and still strategising, or God forbid, something worse, you didn’t know.

A few didn’t make it.

Keeping your identity hidden was becoming increasingly difficult as time went on, of both being a woman and lover of the imprisoned Captain. You had, however, been able to gather intel of Marlowe from the crew that despised him. Each day further validated your belief that this man would be much better off dead; the crew have no loyalty except out of fear, and you could work with that.

You understood Edward’s fear, but it would be selfish of you to stand back and not do anything, watching as almost everyone on the ship suffered; if you did nothing, you would regret it for the rest of your days.

One particular morning was extremely hot, extremely dry, and extremely labour intensive. You were almost halfway through your journey, and you knew you were running out of time. Something had to happen, and soon, or you would never make it to the end of the year.

----------

Edward

After the first week, the crew joined the common sailors around the ship, performing average labour over hours. There was barely time to rest, eat, or drink; he could tell that this was wearing him down more than any form of torture.

The sun’s rays beat down on the nape of his neck as midday approached. Orders were to scrub the floor. He had a brush in his hand the size of a polishing brush, sharing a bucket with four other members of his crew. Each time he made eye contact with one of them, he’d give them a reassuring look; they’d all get out of this, he just needed a plan.

Doors were haphazardly flung open, Marlowe revealing himself from his cabin, followed by an entourage of his closest crew. They clumsily made their way across the ship, bumping into those scrubbing the deck, only to send them a look as if it was their fault in the first place.

One of them knocked over a bucket of water, spilling the liquid across the wood. Edward looked up to observe the situation. It belonged to his crew, including Jonah and Ryan. Marlowe stopped, his stare set on the ones kneeling, completely ignoring the real culprit. “You.” He crooked his finger towards Ryan. “Get up.”

With a petrified look on his face, Ryan stumbled to his feet, shaking like a leaf. “It wasn’t--”

Marlowe put his hand up, a warning to shut up. “It was your bucket, was it not?”

“Y-Yes, but--”

“So it was your responsibility, correct?”

“W-Well--”

“It’s a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question, boy.”

“... Yes, sir.”

Marlowe turned to call to his second in command. “Get the cat.”

Edward’s heart stopped. By now, the ship had dropped to complete silence. They wouldn’t… he was only a boy. Marlowe was sadistic, but he wouldn’t be that evil, would he?

Before he could stop himself, Edward found himself standing protectively in front of Ryan. The child gripped onto his sleeve as he was pushed behind his Captain by the arm. “Why don’t you give a punishment to someone who deserves it?”

Marlowe held a neutral expression. “You’re right…” With a wave of his hand, arms snaked themselves around Edward’s, pulling him away from the others, restraining his movements.

Edward’s eyes flitted to Ryan for a split second; he was pulled to sit beside Jonah before he gained any more unwanted attention. Marlowe came to stand in front of him, unpinning his cape from around his shoulders. It fell into someone’s arms, who carried it away. Although his limbs were pulled harshly behind him, he held his head high, a hard expression in his eyes.

Undoing his cuffs, Marlowe smirked. “I believe you deserve twenty, in place of that boy…” Without warning, a fist came into contact with Edward’s sternum. If it weren’t for the arms holding him upright, the force would have sent his knees buckling. As he regained his breath, he glared at Marlowe. “Another twenty is in order for disobedience…” Another strike winded him again, this one seemingly worse than before. Keeled over, hair blocking his vision, he almost didn’t notice Marlowe leaning into his ear. “Then, about as many as I deem fit…”

Standing up straight, he shook out his hand. “Get him ready.”

Edward stumbled as he was half-dragged across the deck to the main mast. His chest and face collided with the post, the wood almost burning his skin. His arms were pulled taut above his head, rope quickly entwining itself around his wrists. He gave them an experimental tug, his heart skipping a beat when he found not even an inch of give.

Oh, fuck.

Hands gripped the back of his shirt, swiftly tearing it open. His muscles tensed as the sunlight hit his skin. Closing his eyes, he steeled himself with a breath.

The first strike licked his skin, the force shoving him against the post, ripping open stripes of flesh. Pain shot across his back. Biting a back a groan, Edward clenched his jaw. Sweat trailed down his temples, arms straining against the ropes.

Resting his forehead against the post, he prepared for the next lash.

But the strike never came.

----------

Y/N

Ooh, boy.

You were shocked at yourself for a moment, your hand firmly wrapped around Marlowe’s extended wrist, the cat of nine tails trickling Edward’s blood onto the back of your hand.

“I demand satisfaction.”

Gasps and muttering littered the crowd, and you kept to yourself the true realisation of what you’ve done.

You’ve challenged Marlowe to a duel.

“Don’t…” Edward looked over his shoulder, voice loud enough for only you to hear.

You spared him a side glance, urging him to quiet down.

Instead of the expected anger, Marlowe chuckled. “Alright; who demands it?”

You pulled off your face covering and hat, the sun hitting the skin on your face fully for the first time in two weeks. “Naturally, me.”

He hummed darkly, eyes narrowing with recognition. “Naturally.” He began to unsheathe his sword.

“I thought you were a man of tradition; are pistols not your forte?” You raised an eyebrow, challenging him.

After a prolonged glance, metal clicked back into its leather hold. “You really don’t know what you’re getting into, my dear.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“... Let’s get this over with.”

Your heart pounded. This was such a stupid move.

But it was also your only move.

Hiding your own fear, you held eye contact with Marlowe. With trembling fingers, you drew your own pistol, gifted to you by Edward from your last birthday. It was very much your lucky charm, and you hoped it wouldn’t fail you now.

“Ten paces, on my count.” You had no idea who the voice belonged to, nor did you have the current emotional capacity to care. Pulling the hammer down on your pistol, you turned your back to Marlowe. A blank was fired, the echoing shot a signal to start moving.

1…

2…

3...

It was almost deadly quiet.

4…

5…

6…

This was stupid, this was a bad idea. You won’t make it.

7…

8--

An unexpected shot rang out. You dropped to the floor, a pain beginning to blossom in your side.

“NO!”

Marlowe had cheated. Internally, you scoffed. Of course he did.

Although it stung, you were surprised at how bearable the pain was, given you just got shot.

Or did you?

You lay still, partly in shock and partly to plan what to do next.

“What are you all looking at? Get back to work!”

“Y/N? Y/N/N!” You heard Edward’s voice crack. “You cheating bastard!”

“Now, now, Kenway. Don’t forget the position you’re in.”

Floorboards creaked as someone approached. Pistol miraculously still in hand, you waited for as long as possible. Just a little longer....

A shadow shaded your face from the sun. Without thinking, you turned, aimed, and shot.

Marlowe stared back, glassy eyed, blood trickling down his nose.

A moment later, he collapsed.

No one dared to move, choosing to stare at the body in front of them, not quite believing that he was dead.

The monster of a man was dead.

After the adrenaline ebbed away, you sighed heavily. “Glad that’s over.” A hand came into view, offering assistance to stand up. You locked eyes with someone who should have made himself known a long time ago. “Adé!” Accepting the help, you smirked. “Great timing.”

You quickly moved to Edward to begin untying the knots around his wrists. “What the fuck were you thinking?!” he exclaimed, exertion clear in his eyes.

“I’m sorry for worrying you--”

“Worrying me?” One wrist freed, he deftly moved to the other. “When I saw you lying there, I felt as if I had died!”

You sighed. “I needed to do something, lest you became more bone than back.”

“That was the most stupid plan I’ve ever seen in my life.” His hands free, he paid no heed to his own wounds and immediately tried to inspect yours. “You were so irresponsible--”

Bringing his face to yours, you stopped him talking with a kiss.

He diffused immediately, finally processing that you were in front of him, alive, and Marlowe was the one dead on the floor. Melting into you, the tension in his muscles dissipated, replaced only with relief. He broke apart from you, burying his face in your neck, his arms wrapped around you tightly.

“If the plan worked, it couldn’t have been that stupid,” you remarked.

“I’m so sorry.” His words were mumbled into your shoulder.

“You were looking out for me; I would have done the same if the roles were reversed.” You hugged him back, recoiling when he suddenly flinched in pain. “Oh, God, I’m sorry.”

“Shall we just accept each other’s apologies and call it a day?”

You laughed. “That would be good.”

Turning to the hands on deck, you raised your pistol in the air. “It’s over, lads! We can go home!”

You held your side, the pain greatly subsided under the amount of other emotions you were feeling; joy, relief, but also grief. Not for Marlowe, but for the ones that didn’t see this day.

You made a vow there and then; a vow to live your life the way they would have lived.

With joyful, carefree fun.

With the ability to live in the moment.

With gratitude for what you still have that they lost: For some, love, and for others, life.

[miraculous-trinity-leo]

Whacky Gotham, Goofy New York, and Chaotic Paris.

(Part 1) (Part 2) (Part 3) (Part 4) (Part 5) (Part 6) (Part 7)

Chapter 5: Then Let The Games Begin

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Soooo, the Batfam is panicking, Gotham's confused as to why Iron Man is flying over Gotham like a madman, and Maria is with two of Gotham's Sirens (but only Ivy and Harley know this) having a wonderful time playing with Bud and Lou.

Let's start with the Sirens.

Harley is watching over Maria and Tikki as they sleep with Bud and Lou, Ivy walkes over to sit next to Harley, handing her a cup of tea.

"So, what's the diagnosis?" - Ivy

"She has some sort of trauma, has class issues... and handles more than she should, but still does everythin', on top of bein' a hero. She's been through some sh-t Pam." Yeah Harley may have found out Maria's a hero (if the tiny god and magic were anything to go by).

"Is she alone?" - Ivy

"No, thankfully, she has supportive parents, and friends that aren't little sh-ts. I think they're also heroes, she also has a lot, and I a mean A LOT of pent up emotions, she doesn't show anythin' negative, only positive things. She seems to shrink in on herself if she thinks she does somethin' wrong. Pam, we both know there's a limit to how much crap a person can take before they snap, and she's such a sweet kid. There has to be somethin' we can do to help her Ives." Ok she found out alot, but in Marias' defense, they have trustworthy souls, and they were the only other people (besides her friends) that she talked to about it, yes she had her Maman and Uncle to talk about hero stuff, but for the stuff her class does, she only ever vented (without being negative) to her friends.

"Her class is visiting the Botanical Gardens in three days, and it's a 2 part tour, so we can see just what's going on. If it's bad then we scare them a bit, if it's bad bad... they can handle a few slightly poisonous plants right?" - Ivy

"God I love the way ya think Ives, do ya think she can stay with us? I mean look at how cute she is with Bud and Lou... Oh my god, she's cuddlin' dem, and ya gave her a flower crown, how'd I miss that?! Where's the camera?"

Harley took a picture to remind her of this wonderful moment. As Ivy and Harley looked at the picture, they both promised to keep Maria safe, and maybe become sorta kinda-ish parents to her while she's in Gotham.

•—–·Now back to the Bat-Chaos Bat-Cave·–—•

Tim took over the chair and was now searching the possible locations with Jarvis, Damian was sitting on a different chair, trying to act cool, but he wouldn't stop looking over at Tim, to see his progress. Bruce was talking over the comms with Tony. Dick and Jason, weren't helping (they kept feeding each other worse and worse ideas of what could have happened to Maria). Then they heard Jarvis speak.

"I have found the most likely area Ms. Dupain-Cheng would be in. Her phone died about 56 blocks away from her hotel, if we don't count kidnapping, or murder, she would have thought about asking for directions, but may have decided not to considering the city she is in. So that leaves us with a possible 15-25 mile radius from her last known location. I think it best to divide into groups of two, have Oracle stay and update you if anything on security, and or traffic cameras happens. Bruce will be with Tony, Dick will go with Tim, and Jason will go with Damain to search within the area. Stephanie and Cassandra will search around a 5 mile radius near Wayne hotel." as Jarvis continued to explain the other details, the Batfam began to suit up, Batman met up with Iron Man, and they took the North area, Nightwing and Red Robin took the East area, while Red Hood and Robin searched the South. Steph and Cass were on foot in civilian clothes, searching the West area they were assigned.

They searched for the whole day, and came up with nothing. Until Oracle saw a video from a traffic cam around 9pm, 15 blocks away from where her phone died. She called it in and everyone went back to the cave. Once everyone was at the Bat-Computer, Oracle pressed play, the cameras didn't have sound, and it wasn't close enough to see if she was ok.

They watched as she went to an overgrown parking lot and sat down. She was looking down at the ground, and that's when they spotted two figures round the corner and spot her. They watched as the two figures approach Maria, and saw the startled reaction she had. They realized it was Harley Quinn and Poison Ivy that were talking to her, then they saw Maria collapse. They watched as Harley made sure she was ok, looking over to Ivy before looking back to Maria and picking her up. The last thing they saw, was Maria being carried away by two of Gothams' most dangerous rouges, but now they knew where to look next.

•—–· Back to Ivy and Harley ·–—•

Harley continued to take adorable pictures of the children.

"God, they're so f-ckin' cute!" - Harley for the 20th time

As Ivy continued to watch while caring for her plants, Catwoman walked in.

"Hey girls, got the stuff for movie night, so what are we- Holy mother of cats! He adopted another f-cking child didn't he! Where the hell does he keep finding them?! 7 was ment to be the god DAMN LIMIT!!!" - Catwoman

Maria jumped at the sudden shouting and may have accidentally summoned a yo-yo (one made useing creation magic and protection magic) before saying.

"Tikki where's the akuma?! How long was I out?! Forget it Tikki spot-" she then realized she wasn't in Paris, and seeing a new face, she also realized she just spilled her secret to another person within the same day... kinda

"Fffffffffffudge sunday that fell on the pavement!" - Maria shouted in baker profanities

"That's not how ya curse sweetheart. It should go more like-" Harley was cut off by a vine Ivy had summoned.

"Harley, cursing makes the plants sad, you know this." - Ivy said removing the vine

Harley just walked over to Maria and whipsered it in her ear.

"You're supposed to say it more like this, ' ..... .... ... .. ....... .. ... .....' ok?" - Harley ended with a big smile

"... I will never see this world in the same frickin' light ever again." - Maria

"ehh close enough." - Harley

"Can someone please tell me, WTH is going on here, on our special girls day off?!" - Catwoman

"She is a new member of the Sirens as of today, and as a member, she's unda our protection, so effective immediately." - Harley

"Cool." - Maria

"Harley." - Ivy

"Wut... first things first, if she is going to join, she needs to be very flexible, know how to fight, and be incredibly intelligent." - Catwoman

"She beat Ed's @ss with a gun pointed at her, and solved every riddle with ease, so I'm positive she'll be an amazin' addition to the team." - Harley

'God she sounds like a new mother now' "But we don't know how good her flexibility is." - Catwoman

"I know, hey Maria, ya wanna do some tricks with me, of course we need to stretch first, but do ya wanna give it a go?" - Harley

"Sure." - Maria

Ivy and Catwoman sat down on a couch a few feet away from where Maria and Harley stood in the empty part of the building. They started out with stretches, and to Catwoman's surprise (and Harley's delight) Maria copied Harleys streches perfectly.

"Ok, now that that's done, we'll start with some cartwheels, then move on to flips, then handsprings and so on." - Harley

Maria gave Harley a nod... and they were off... literally, Harley did a cartwheel into a handspring, and a few backflips, Maria executed it flawlessly. Harley did some more complicated gymnastics tricks, and Maria did it, Harley did triple backflips going into a cartwheel, into a summersault, and Maria did that perfectly as well. This went on until both Harley and Maria were slightly out of breath, both having massive smiles on their faces.

"Ives, please let her join, she's like a mini me." - Harley then hugged Maria and they somehow both tripled in cuteness as they both did puppy (or Puss In Boots style) eyes at Catwoman and Ivy.

"Sure Harley." - Ivy said walking over to give Harley a small kiss on the cheek.

"Okay... but she doesn't have a costume yet, and she still has to think of a name for herself." - Catwoman

"Is a mouse good, like a mouse themed costume, that or a Turtle themed one. What do you think Harley?" - Maria

"Mmmm, I like that with the mouse you can always toy with Cat, ya know, cat an' mouse stuff, turtle seems... weird even fawh Gotham, so personally I would pick mouse, just because of the cheesy jokes you could do." - Harley

"Very funny, ok then, give me a moment."  Maria then reached out her hand, her eyes then started to glow an icy blue, and a small portal opened in front of her, she reached in and pulled out a small pendant necklace. After she put it on a small mouce appeared and greated itself, Marias' eyes going back to normal after closing the portal.

"Hello I'm Mullo, nice to meet you all."

"Omg omg omg, It's soooo f-ckin' CUTE!" - Harley

"Best to assume all of them are extremely cute Harls." - Ivy

"What the Hell did I miss in the week I was gone?!" - Catwoman

"Ehh, not much, oh but Iron Man did fly aroun' Gotham a few times earlier this mornin' like a madman." - Harley

"Oh sh-t." - Maria

"Maria are ya ok? That was ya first official proper curse in my presence." Harley said looking over to the girl.

"He's gonna kill me." - Maria

"Wait, what do you mean Marigold?" - Ivy

"... He's my Uncle, and I never got to text him I was ok, since my phone died before I met you." - Maria

"Hey, I'm sure he'll understand, now what are we watchin'?" - Harley

"I think we have more important matters other than movies at the moment!" - Catwoman

"Ok, Me Myself and Irene it is." - Harley

"No! You basically kidnapped Iron Mans' NIECE!!!" - Catwoman

"Technically, she fainted and us bein' the good Gothamites we are, decided to take her with us, to make sure she was a-okay." - Harley

"I'm ganna need more than just a six pack of soda to get me through this... Just put the movie on already." - Catwoman

Catwoman sat at the far left end of the couch, next to her sat Ivy, then Maria, and then Harley, Bud and Lou by their feet. All of them sharing one big blanket (Becuase if Iron Man did show up, or any of the birds, then Maria was in a protective burrito and they may not see her right away) and they started the movie.

•—–·–—•

"Oh god, the poor cow." - Maria

.........

"Hahahaha, he stuck a whole f-ckin' chicken head in that guys @ss" - Harley

"The poor chicken." - Maria

"Maria you don't want to see this part." - Ivy then lightly covered her eyes for the ehem, chicken extraction.

.........

"Anyone up for another movie?" - Harley

"That depends." - Ivy

"Any suggestions Cat?" - Harley looked across to the other end of the couch to see Catwoman already sleeping.

"She took her cat-nap already? Seriously?" - Harley

"... What about Pirates of The Caribbean?" - Maria

"I'm good with that." - Ivy

And they started the next movie, Maria was happy, it felt like when her maman and papa would sleep with her when she made a pillow fort. It was a loving atmosphere, it felt safe, and nothing could ruin it. Marias' eyes became heavy, and she leaned her head on Harleys' shoulder, falling asleep after a few minutes.

Ivy paused the move looking over to see both Harley and Maria sleeping, soon Ivy also fell asleep in the comfortable silence.

…………………………

Around an hour later Maria woke up in a panic, she had a nightmare, and kept looking around frantically for someone with tears running down her face.

"What's the matter hun?" - Harley said looking around to see if someone had gotten in. When she looked back at Maria she saw that she was crying.

"What happened?" Harley asked in a kind voice that was filled with motherly love.

"I, just *hic* had a bad dream that's *hic* all, I'm fine." - Maira said trying to wipe the tears away.

"You're ok, I promise nothin's goin' to happen to ya as long as Ivy and I are here, ok hun?" - Harley hugged Maria, and she could feel the girl let out a few more sobs, and quick breathes.

"Thanks Maman." Maria didn't even realize what she had said, it just felt natural for her to say it.

"You're welcome hun." 'Omg I'm gonna cry, she called me maman!' Harley rubbed small circles over Marias' back, and began humming until she fell asleep, she continued to hug Maria until she also fell asleep.

•—–· Back to the Chaos Bat-Cave ·–—•

"What do you mean she's with two of Gotham City's Sirens?!" - Tony

"Tony, calm down, I'll call Selina, she can talk to them and get this all sorted out." - Bruce

"Your fiancee is a Gotham Siren too?! Why didn't you tell me?!" - Tony

"Why isn't she picking up? And unlike some people, this family doesn't like outing our secret identities... on live TV." - Bruce

"Oh well excuse me for not keeping my secret identity a SECRET!" - Tony

"I'll try calling her one more time." - Bruce

"Bruce, it's 3am. Who in their right mind ever stays up this late.... aside from this family." - Tim with a giant coffee mug in hand.

"... I'll just call her one more time." Bruce then connected it to the Bat-Computer so everyone could hear.

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Catwoman's phone is ringing like crazy, waking everyone up, including a tired, annoyed, and confused Selina.

"Wth does he want at 3 in the morning?!" - Selina

"Just answer it so we can keep sleepin'." - Harley still hugging Maria

"I'm putting it on speaker, so you lot can testify against his @ss in court, for disturbing the peace."

•—–· Over to Batsy ·–—•

"Selina I need to ask-"

"WHAT THE F-CKING HELL DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND ABOUT A GOOD NIGHTS REST!" - Selina

"Oooooh, she sounds pissed Bruce." - Jason

"I'm sorry to call you at this hour, but we need to find a girl that looks just like every single one of my other kids." - Bruce

"Bruce... I thought we agreed that 7 kids was. the. f-cking. limit." - Selina

•—–· Back to the Sirens ·–—•

Selina looked over to Maria before muting the speaker.

"Do you want them to know you're here Kitten?" - Selina

"... I'm tired, I haven't had coffee, I have no filter, so f-ck it, act like you never saw me today, and let them drown in chaos. " - Maria

"I think I like filter less Maria." - Harley

"Okay." Selina shrugged her shoulders and then un-muted her phone, putting it back on speaker mode.

"Where was she last seen?" - Selina

"She was last seen with Harley and Poison Ivy, I want you to see if she's still with them." - Bruce

Selina looked over to Maria and Harley, both of them shook their heads with mischievous grins.

"I've been with them all day, and I haven't once seen a girl that looks like your kids. Now can I go back to sleep, and forget this ever happened?" - Selina

"WHERE IS MY NIECE!!!" - Tony

"Oh, hey Tony, didn't know you were there, don't know who, or where your niece is, but good luck trying to find her. Oh and Bruce, I'm shutting my phone off so you don't keep calling till the butt crack of dawn. And congrats it's now 4am. you owe me a lunch date, uh-ba-bye." Selina then hung up her phone and turned it off.

"That went pretty well if you ask me, now I'm going back to sleep." - Selina

•—–· Back to Batsy ·–—•

The room was silent for a few minutes before Jason spoke up.

"Does that mean that Pixiepop ran away and is even more lost now?!" - Jason

"Oh god, what do we do, what if she got hurt?!" - Dick

"What if she got kidnapped?!" - Jason

"What if she's with a big time Gotham Villain?!" - Dick

"... What if she got more coffee?" - Tim

"Oh Hell No" - Jason/Dick

"... Lets all go to sleep, and when we wake up, we'll head over to their base and double check. She could've just said that because I called her at 3am." - Bruce

"But my niece is still out there!" - Tony

"You're going to sleep Tony." - Pepper then dragged Tony to his room.

•—–· Back to Maria ·–—•

Selina went to a different part of the building, where Maria assumed the bedrooms were. Ivy had gone to the greenhouse to be with the plants, and now it was just her and Harley left on the couch, and she couldn't sleep.

"... Harley?" - Maria

"Yeah hun?" - Harley

"I can't sleep." - Maria

"Well, watcha wanna do till ya get tired?" Harley asked sitting up a little straighter to get a better look at Maria.

Maria gave a sly smile, and looked Harley in the eyes "Want to go free-running on the rooftops?"

"... Alright, but lets get some coffee, and a snack in us first." - Harley gave her a side hug, before getting up to go make the coffee, and grab some snacks.

After they had their coffee, they climbed to the roof of the base. Harley was in her outfit, bat in hand and ready to do some bonding.

"So, how does ya outfit work?" - Harley

"Like so, ready Mullo?" - Maria

"Yes Maria" - Mullo

"Ok, Mullo, Get Squeaky!" A bright light flashes, and when Harley could see again, Maria was in a dark gray suit, wearing black knee high boots, with a strip of pink at the knee, and black elbow length gloves with the same pink strip at her elbow. Her mask was a slightly lighter gray on the top part, and pink on the bottom. Her hair was pulled into two buns with pink ribbons that faded to gray, and to black at the very tip. Her jump rope around her waist forming a tail going just below the back of her knees.

"Just when I think ya can't get any more adorable. So what should I call ya?" - Harley

"You can call me Multimouse." - Maria

Soon they were racing and doing tricks off different roofs, they were really enjoying themselves. From one of the roofs they heard a commotion in one of the alleys, when they looked down they saw a man holding a woman at gunpoint.

"Not good, seems like he's got issues, probably lost his lover, most likely has additions to drugs and alcohol, and seems to be a little tipsy." - Harley

"I've got a plan." - Multimouse

…………

Multimouse droped a little way behind the guy, grabbing his attention while Harley got the lady to safety.

"You know there's a help center two blocks from here that would be more than willing to help you." - Multimouse

The crook just raised his gun to her trying to keep it steady as he spoke.

"Give me all your money little girl, or else I'll hurt you."

"1. That's not how you hold a gun. 2. That is no way to treat any girl. and 3. Instead of money, I'll give you my jump rope." - Multimouse

"Why the hell would I want your jump rope, that thing looks worthless." the crook lowered his guard enough as Multimouse pretended to hand over her jump rope, only to use it in a quick motion to dismarm the man, as Harley promptly knocked him out with one swing.

"Lets neva have ya at gunpoint again, okay hun? I'm afraid my heart can't take it." - Harley said while tying the crook to a lamppost.

"Sorry, but it was the best idea I could come up with at the moment, besides, any guy with a gun would feel like they have the upper hand if they're facing a random little girl with a jump rope, rather than Gothams' Harley Quinn with a bat." - Multimouse

"Sadly I'm just too popular with the kiddos on the street." - Harley

…………

They continued to stop a few more muggers on the way back to the base, and when they got back they peaked around the corner to see the whole Batfam plus Iron Man talking with Ivy and Selina.

"How much you want to bet we can get back out before they see us?" - Whispering Multimouse

"... Lets try hidin' in the kitchen." - Whispering Harley

As they tried to sneak by (still in their costumes) Selina just walks over and draggs them to the group.

"Here, now let me sleep!" - Selina

"Dang it Selina we wanted tah see just how long we could hide out in the kitchen!" - Harley

Selina did a double take now realizing they both went out.

"... You didn't." - Selina

"We wanted tah go free-runnin'! So what?" - Harley

"She could've gotten hurt Harls." - Ivy

"My suits magic, I am invulnerable to bullets, normal magic, swords, knifes, anything staby staby, and I can withstand any temperature in it." Multimouse said with a slight pout.

"Hold up, is she a magical girl?" - Red Hood in the background

When Selina let go both Harley and Multimouse went behind Ivy for protection.

"We can still make a run for it." - Harley whispered to Multimouse

"... Ok, I'll meet you on the roof." - Whispering Multimouse

Harley gave a nod as she slowly inched her wasy closer to the door that lead to the roof, as she saw Iron Man approach Multimouse.

"Please get out of your suit, we need to talk about why you're here-" - Iron Man

"Multitute!" - Multimouse

Harley then saw Multimouse shrink into dozens of tiny little versions of herself as her clones spread out in all directions, one of which was heading right for her.

"Wth, you never told us she could use magic!" - Red Robin

Harley picked her up, and slipped through the door without anyone noticing.

"That was great, but how do ya get back tuh normal size?" - Harley

"Simple, I just merge back with my clones." As she said this, all her clones came back, and she merged with herself, becoming normal sized again.

"Where to?" - Multimouse

………… So now The Batfam is trying to find many long gone Mini-Multimouses, and Harley seems to have disappeared with her. Harley and Multimouse are now running over the roofs, heading for Wayne Manor.

"So why are we going to Wayne Manor?" - Multimouse

"Because, Batsy will neva think of lookin' for us at his own home, at least not fawh a little while." - Harley

When they arrived at the Manor, Multimouse de-transformed as Harley knocked on the door.

"Ms. Quinn, Ms. Maria, pleasure to see you here, please come in." - Alfred

"Are any of the bat-birds here?" - Harley

"Ms. Barbara, Ms. Stephanie, and Ms. Cassandra are the only ones here at the moment." - Alfred

"Do ya think you can keep us bein' here a secret from Batsy?" - Harley

"Harley? What are you doing here with Maria?" - Barbara

"It seems that Ms. Harley and Ms. Maria are now playing hide and seek with the rest of the family." - Alfred

"Did someone say hide and seek?" - Steph

"Yes, so could we maybe try and keep this a secret from everyone else, please?" - Maria

"Sure, it was starting to get boring around here. We can all hide in the living room no one ever use. Barbara you show them the way, I'll get the food/drinks and boardgames." - Steph

"Is this alright with you Alfred?" Maria

"It's all right Ms. Maria, you can hide out in the old living room." - Alfred

"Thanks Alfie, ya the best." - Harley

"Thank you Alfred." - Maria

"Ok then, follow me." - Barbara

…………

In the old living room, Harley, Maria, Barbara, Steph, and Cass began to formulate a plan.

"Ok, so the best way for them to never find you is to have your phone off, stay away from any and all cameras, and show your face to no one." - Steph

"So, do you have anything in mind that you might want to do?" - Barbara

"Can we put them on a wild goose chase?" - Maria

Cass nodded to Marias' suggestion approvingly.

"I can hack a few traffic cams to help with that." - Barbara

"We can also throw in some useless hints, to throw dem even further off our scent." - Harley

"Good idea Harley." - Barbara

"Thanks, but how long do ya think we should make it last?" - Harley

"As long as Maria wants it to." - Barbara

"Then let the games begin." - Maria.

•—–—–·†·–—–—•

Chapter 5 complete. Hope everyone is stayin' safe, Rockin' those Positive Vibes, and havin' an absolutely wonderful day. BUG-OUT 🐞💮🐞

〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜Tag List〜(꒪꒳꒪)〜

1st Place★: @animegirlweeb ☕ , 2nd Place★: @jumpingjoy82, 3rd Place★: @zalladane, 4th Place★: @jayjayspixiepop, 5th Place★: @arty-shadow-morningstar, 6th Place★: @smol-book-nerd, 7th Place★: @irontimetravelflower, 8th Place★: @fandom-trapped-03, 9th Place★: @meme991001, 10th Place★: @buginetye, 11th Place★: @blackroserelina, 12th Place★: @jessigurl-design, 13th Place★: @adrestar, 14th Place★: @moon5608, 15th Place★: @little-bluestar, 17th Place★: @myazael, 18th Place★: @our-preciousss, 19th Place★: @wolf2118, 20th Place★: @nyx-in-line, 21st Place★: @kking13, 22nd Place★: @lunerlover2024, 23rd Place★: @moonlightstar64, 24th Place★: @corporeal-terrestrial, 25th Place★: @kashlyn, 26th Place★: @tbehartoo, 27th Place★: @heart-charming, 28th Place★: @solangelo252, 29th Place★: @t1dwarrior-of-earth, 30th Place★: @lady-phoenix-of-tardis, @lupagrimm

[edwardelricsrightarm]

"A lesson without pain is meaningless. For you cannot gain anything without sacrificing something else in return, but once you have overcome it and made it your own...you will gain an irreplaceable fullmetal heart." - Edward Elric

In honor of disability month and the FMA 20 year anniversary I wanted to address some Thoughts™️ about the series.

It's not often you see a disabled protagonist in media where their disability is integral to the story without taking up their entire character, even more so with anime. Yet, Fullmetal Alchemist has not just one disabled Protagonist, but two. The Elric Brothers are an exemplary representation of disability in media that I find myself reflecting on often as a disabled person myself. If you haven't completed the manga or Brotherhood, skip this as it will be brimming with spoilers.

(Mangahood will be my point of reference because while 03 is good on its own merits it's not as fresh within my immediate memory, and I am far less familiar with it. Keep this in mind, I've watched FMAB 10 and a half times whereas I've finished 03 only once years ago.)

The story highlights their disabilities immediately, Edward being a double amputee and Alphonse being without his ENTIRE body, only having the senses of proprioception, sight, and hearing left. Yet, despite this being key to the story and an integral part of their characterization, it is only one facet of their motivations and doesn't take center in the narrative, which is refreshing. It's not inherently negative to make a narrative centered on the characters' disabilities, but often this model of a story goes very wrong very fast and starts to feel hollow (no pun intended). FMA avoids this by making their disabilities a clear part of the plot and their motivations without allowing it to consume the entire story, so the Elric Brothers don't suffer the "my disability is all of my character" problem that many disabled characters are relegated to in a vast portion of media, all while being strong and competent.

Recap:

The brothers wished to revive their mother, but their good intentions cannot change the atrocity of their mistake, Truth makes this abundantly clear from the start. Edward loses his leg first, a punishment for "stepping" into God's shoes and transgressing the place of humans in their world. Alphonse loses his entire body, unable to feel any warmth or simple comforts like food and rest, when all he wanted was to feel the warmth and comfort of his mother's embrace again. At first, Alphonse's entire being is consumed by the gate, but Edward acts immediately, refusing to lose his little brother and refusing to allow his arrogance in this plan to cause his brother's death for only following his lead. Edward gives his right arm to have the gate give back Alphonse's soul, and stated clearly in his panic that he'd give his entire self to save Alphonse if that's what it would take, but Truth took his dominant arm only, showing something akin to mercy, although the character of Truth is capriciously strict and hard to describe as "merciful".

Through giving up his right arm, Edward regains his Right Hand Man, his little brother and best friend. His only remaining family, who he feels responsible for protecting in the absence of their parents. He felt immediately that he'd made a grave mistake, instantly full of regret as he realized the gate had taken his brother. In that moment he was willing to give anything to take it back and undo the suffering his arrogance caused his brother, yet Alphonse was still to suffer more to come. Ed tied Alphonse's disembodied soul to one of Hohenheim's collected suits of armor, managing to at least keep his brother alive in some way. One could say that Alphonse's punishment functioned as a secondary punishment for Edward, showing him how easily his hubris could have cost him what he has left in his obsession with regaining what they'd lost, their mother. A very clear symbolic reminder of the weight of his actions and how he'd misled his brother in his own naive ignorance. Even in giving another limb away to drag his brother's soul back out of the gate, he couldn't offer enough to bring him back intact. Thus is the law of equivalent exchange.

Now that we've reviewed some of that basic symbolism and the motifs the story draws upon with limbs and body parts in relation to characters, let's move on to each individual brother and break it down, shall we?

Edward Elric is a very realistic protagonist, this is one thing a majority of us familiar with this series can agree upon. He feels like a believable teen boy, with layers of complexity to his character while also showing arrogance and immaturity that is unsurprising at his age. He expresses unwillingness to kill and avoidance of unjust violence from the beginning, and has a strong moral code after the ordeal of committing the taboo.

In some characters his cocky personality would typically become grating, yet the story explains in itself why he is this way, then builds upon this to develop him into an incredibly mature character who is willing to admit when he's absolutely wrong and adapts to new information and context for the crisis unfolding around him as it comes, even if he remains crass. This arrogance is shown from the start to be a manifestation of insecurity, self loathing, and repressed guilt. Edward is a logic driven person, he has a very unique thought process, which is where my interpretation of him as autistic comes in. Edward's awkward social demeanor, somewhat abrasive and cold approach to some, and his trouble coping with nonsensical societal structures all stand out in this way. Furthermore he clearly shows hyperfixation, hyperactivity, special interest, and infodumping behaviors that are all too familiar. He's picky with food (*cough* the milk thing), has very little filter and speaks his mind bluntly even if this can warrant conflicting responses, yet at the same time struggles with vulnerable emotions, and he is frustrated when his own routine or itinerary are interrupted by forces beyond his control. All of these things Scream autism with comorbid ADHD. Many traits are shared between the brothers, and I'm quite certain they're both on the autism spectrum based on behavioral patterns. Neurodivergence aside, Edward's physical disabilities are undeniable.

Despite his bratty persona, Edward is fundamentally kind and uncharacteristically gentle and soft around the edges for a shonen protagonist in many ways. He cries openly on many occasions even if he struggles talking about his trauma and burdens in words at times, he feels pain, grief, and compassion so intensely it throws him into action on a regular basis in the narrative. In this way he's also a fantastic example of non-toxic masculinity (though in other ways he has displayed more toxic traits, he's just a kid). He acts on his heart, even if he's led by his mind and logic in most things. His humanity, value for life, and care for others will always win over his logic, and he shows a sense of personal responsibility for doing the right thing even if it harms him in the process. Ed is clearly shown having ghost pains in his lost limbs which is honestly an interesting detail to include, I don't think I've ever seen that aspect of amputation shown in media aside from FMA. It's also shown that when Ed's automail arm breaks this is a HUGE problem for him, but he's also shown to be very good at working around this in difficult circumstances. He doesn't become completely helpless, even if majorly weakened.

Alphonse is an extremely lovable and compassionate boy, brimming with altruism and care for others. Even in his noncorporeal state he pursues a better future and he's not helpless by any stretch. Edward clearly states Alphonse is the superior fighter for example, and it's not just because of his armor body being so large. He's *talented*, that's a fact. Al is every bit as clever and capable as Ed, moreso in some ways, and I love that about his character *because* he's so clearly disabled. He has no sense of pain, he is completely incapable of sleeping, he can't eat, can't relax or find comfort, he can only exist and think. This causes him to overthink in all his time alone, this is debilitating. He clearly is absolutely sick of the loneliness this causes, and he often feels helpless though he's not. He has doubts and fears that consume him in relation to his armor body, he questions his own personhood, even. Yet, Edward is stubborn and staunch in affirming that no matter what he's dealing with, he is fundamentally still a human being that is loved and irreplaceable. Alphonse is powerful and his body gives him some advantages, but it also sets him back, and the brothers know this even when others claim Alphonse's state is somehow a good thing. I have hEDS, a disability that comes with advantages as well as the major downsides, so I can understand and relate to Alphonse here. I too am told my disability is a boon because of flexibility and because I'm less likely to fracture bones, but I'm twice as likely to injure my ligaments and joints, which people ignore.

The brothers are both disabled, both flawed, both show weaknesses, but they are competent, determined, and strong in their own right. They are rounded characters that exist for more than to be pitied or condescended to by able bodied characters around them. They put their entire being in everything that they do no matter what that is, and they don't know the meaning of giving up. These traits that they're made of truly make them a shining example of disability in protagonists for others to look to for reference when writing their own disabled characters.

Even though by the end Edward has regained one limb and Al has regained his body, this also doesn't just deus ex machina reverse their disability or make it go away. It's clear that Alphonse's body is weak and has to be rehabilitated upon recovery, and Edward is still missing his leg and bears the scars and pieces of the port from his automail arm. They weren't suddenly made able bodied upon recovering these things, they reclaimed what was lost through struggle and grit, but the narrative didn't give the impression that their disability in itself was something to be fixed, which is important. They wanted to recover their bodies, but this doesn't erase the effects of their disability.

It was about Edward atoning for leading Alphonse into their mistake and saving his brother from suffering further, it was about them proving they can keep moving forward no matter what, not about getting rid of their disability in itself or putting themselves down because of the disabilities. This, to me, as a mentally and physically disabled viewer, is so important. They achieve their goal, but this doesn't in any way erase or undo the effects of their initial losses, they find ways to adapt and move on but they're still affected and still disabled. They always will be. That can be so important to see in comfort characters, and as a disabled individual who's had both brothers as comfort characters since I was a child, their impact on my own journey is surprisingly tangible for fiction.