#campaign season

[lichen-thr0pe]

Saddle up, we’re going Maying

[spandexspangles]

Y'all I had the most surreal unsolicited fundraising call today. No, sorry, it was two calls. I'll explain.

I was at work a little after it opened, off the clock, having just finished talking to an acquaintance about a potential partnership event. It is very chill, with just 7 other people near me. My phone rings, I step away for a moment to answer. As one does. Guy starts talking real chummy, sounds like a politico. And the thing is, my work hosts fundraisers for politicos sometimes (including this week!) and so I'm thinking it's someone calling about that for a second, and then he says "will you help us on our mission to make America great again?"

Screeeeeeeeeeech. Surely not.

Me: I'm sorry, who is this?

Dude: oh. [Annoyed pause, followed by cheerful yet menacing robot voice] This is Name, and I'm calling you because we want to thank you for your upcoming donation. I see in the past you've donated $500 to the cause of patriotism-

Me, briefly worried that maybe my bank had been hacked but then remembered I'm poor, so would have definitely noticed $500 leaving my account: Wait, what?

Douche, VERY snippily: Excuse me, I'm speaking.

Me: WHAT. [Laugh] Did you just chastise me for interrupting your pitch begging me for money, for the FUCKING Republican party??

*At this point, it's worth mentioning that I work in a queer bar. So seven heads whiplash in my direction upon hearing these words*

Broheim: It's incredibly rude to swear! 😠😠

Me, just barely not laughing: I don't give a good flying fuck what you think is rude, I hope you die. Go fuck yourself.

Butthurt: garbled noises that I didn't quite catch because I hung up on him.

So, funny enough, right? I walk back to everyone, but not 20 seconds later, my phone RINGS AGAIN. SAME! NUMBER! Everyone yells at me to answer it. I oblige.

Me, using my aggressively chipper/ditzy voice that I will use for the entirety of this convo: ✨️Hello? ✨️

Gross dude: So we maybe got disconnected before, I'm sure you just drove through a tunnel.

Me: Oh! Nope! I hung up on you. 🥰 [Puts phone on speaker, in accordance with the frantic handwaving of my coworkers]

Determined guy: Well you said some very rude things to me. And I do apologize for saying you should go put in a tampon. But in my defense you'd wished me dead, so that's fair.

*Everyone including me just drops their fucking jaw. Apparently, that's what the garbled noises were as I was hanging up on him. I don't think I've heard that used as an insult in real life since like, the 90s? Deep cut.*

Me, maliciously and immediately determined to fuck with him even more: Oh, I didn't mean YOU! 😇 ...I meant your entire political party. But I could see how you'd misunderstand. I'll be super duper glad when y'all just fade away. 💖

Fundraising oaf: so I'm calling today to encourage you, as a patriot, to keep Kamiiiila Harris out of the White House-

Me: oof, that's embarrassing. She's the Vice-President and you don't know how to pronounce her name? Come on, sugar pie, that's just silly.

Broseph: I know how to say her name! 😡

Me: Hey so I wanted to ask- is this like, an effective fundraising technique for you? Like you call someone, scold them, say shitty misogynistic things to them, get hung up on, call BACK, be rude some more, and then, what, they give you money? Like how many donations have you got doing that?

Slimeboi: We believe it's important to be our authentic selves! 🤡

Me: ...so none then.

Guy who is starting to regret his choices: ...This election is the most important one ever! The Democrats have done a terrible job with-

Me: Oh I agree!

Dumbfuck: Really?

Me: Absolutely! They need to do a way better job at not being spineless and actually get back to proper progressive valu-

Idiot: The criminal Democrats are going to destroy the country! 😤😤😤

Me, speaking over him: You're begging for money for a guy who tried to overthrow the government. And he's a convicted felon!

*I cannot emphasize enough that while I have been quoting more or less verbatim in this recap, the following line is EXACTLY WHAT HE SAID*

Simp: I'd rather vote for a felon with a heart of gold than a-

I desperately wish that I knew what he called Harris just then, but alas, that was the moment wherein I and the people surrounding me lost our collective minds and started howling with laughter.

Between gasping for air, I told him to have the day he deserved, and hung up on him. We waited to see if he would call a third time. Alas, no. I am so, SO glad this happened in front of people, because I would have assumed that I'd hallucinated it. My manager asked if I was going to call and report him. Absolutely no way. I want that guy doing all their fundraising calls.

[heartinateapot]

Spending my work hours at the spa working from my phone feels like such a life upgrade

[mentagenesis]

High Anxiety Relief.

by Daniel Wolfert. In 1977 the movie High Anxiety was released. It’s a comedic parody of psychoanalysis and Alfred Hitchcock films. It was produced and directed by Mel Brooks, who also plays the Protagonist in the story. His character, Dr. Richard Thorndyke, is the newly appointed Administrator of the Psycho-Neurotic Institute for the Very, Very Nervous in Los Angeles, California. He’s replacing���

[bacchuschucklefuck]

summer of junior year 06/11

[creativelycomplex]

The fight between Louis and Armand was one of the best scenes of this entire show. The way they both knew where to hit each other exactly where it hurt. But Armand really clocked Louis with the “my daughter was my sister was my throw pillow when he wouldn’t look at me kindly.” The guilt of what happened with Claudia will forever haunt Louis, the look of utter despair on his face after was insane. Also the way Armand yelled “THE NAME”, I was floored. Their entire dynamic is sickening. They acted their asses off, Assad Zaman is slowly becoming one of my favourite actors of the current generation.

[demigoddessqueens]

Love my girls!!!

[ohnohelpitsagain]

so idk if we’re getting a bard’s lament this season, but regardless of if we are or not i NEED to talk about my most favorite dynamic ever so i can get this convo back out into the universe before a bard’s lament happens because it makes me unwell.

vex and scanlan are, in many ways, the same. they’re deeply insecure, sad people that put on masks to hide it. they’re good liars. so that’s what they do. they stand in front of each other and they lie. and it’s not hard for them to know the other is lying. i mean vex LITERALLY SEES THROUGH HIS DISGUISE EVENTUALLY LIKE ARE YOU KIDDING?

and like, vex is snippy and she can be a bit of a shit and she says scanlan is just some guy without his magic. but he’s also the person she looks up to. she literally travels across the whole continent by herself to make sure his daughter can get to him and she sends kaylie back to him even though she’s distraught and terrified and alone. she’s the one person who actually gets through to him during a bard’s lament and she gets through to him by telling him to stop viewing his daughter as a sacred object. to fix his relationship with her. AND HE LISTENS. like again she is the ONLY person in that room who gets through to him and it’s because she implores him to fix his relationship with his daughter after he cruelly remarks that they went to the fey realm to “fix her daddy issues.”

and scanlan! he teases her and he deflects his seriousness around her with humor as much as he does to anyone. but he teaches vex how to use the broom and he gives her the hat to wear. and he ensures her success when he turns her into a dragon and directly tells a god that she’s mean and greedy and the most perfect one of all of them.

scanlan is a father with a fractured relationship with his daughter and vex is a daughter desperate for her father’s approval.

scanlan is not vex’s father. but when scanlan comes back she does everything she can to try and make sure he won’t leave again despite the way he hurt her.

vex is not scanlan’s daughter. but he walks her down the aisle and makes sure she can see her brother at her wedding and he’s happy to be like her father for a day.

scanlan is NOT vex’s father and vex is NOT scanlan’s daughter but really, aren’t they made of the same stuff?

[gros-chat-fait]

Fire Keepers --- Since this is the third one I've made for this cross-campaign theme, I guess it's officially a series. Commence the links! Blue Healers | Wind Walkers

[mama-of-demons]

So spouse and I are sitting on the couch while the kids are napping. I’m reading FanFiction and he’s playing a video games (because we’re nerds). All of a sudden I hear “hello?” Coming from our back door. It’s a nice day so we had the back door open and just the screen door shut.

Who on earth could be at the back door? Luckily I had on real clothes and a bra because I get to the door and it’s the goddamn governor. Like the literal governor of my entire state was standing on my back steps. I get that it is a campaign year but I 100% was not expecting that.

[reportwire]

The Great Senate Stalemate

The Great Senate Stalemate

The map of competitive Senate elections is shrinking—and not just for November. Though Republicans began the year expecting sweeping Senate gains, the party’s top-grade opportunities to capture seats now held by Democrats have dwindled to just two—Nevada and Georgia—and both are, at best, toss-ups for the GOP. And while Democrats, somewhat astoundingly, have emerged from the primaries with at…

[puddle-wants-to-live]

the ep three vibe

[hotcupofdragons]

I've been watching you longer than you know. Recklessly drawn to your destiny, like a flame. My beautiful Champion. There is much to fear. But not death. For it gives meaning to life.

[otterlyart]

As Kevdak's body slumps... it shrinks back down to its average size, and you crumple to the ground, smiling.

[littlebitofdnd]

Sandra-Lynn and Sklonda are having a "What Do We Do About Kristen" phone call as we speak

[shadowgasp]

my tlovm s2 theater viewing in a nutshell