#camera isnt even zoomed in like. i was that close to this

[charmac]

Glenn and Charlie taking their final shot at the Four Walls bar

[colbystoes]

Rumors

Part 2. Part 2 sams ver.

—

colby brock x fem!reader

summary: sam, colby, and you go to a haunted area. During the recording, colby isnt very affectionate towards you. when you all get scared, colby decides to comfort r/n not you. viewers suspect and make rumors about your relationship with colby.

disclaimer: this is just a made up place and im not going off one of their videos. (D/N) is your dogs name and R/N is a random girls name(idk)

…

“WHATS UP GUYS its sam and colby! and today we’re going to be exploring an haunted area with two special guests..”colby exclaimed.

“hi!” you and r/n wave at the camera when they point towards you guys.

you’ve never been fond about being out in the middle of the night in a haunted area. It never really caught your attention. You zone out while sam and colby explain what we’re going to be doing. you think to urself if it wasn’t for colby, you wouldn’t be here with two idiots in the middle of the night.

“..and here we go!..” sam shouted as he grabbed the camera from the cars hood.

You follow them closely behind and listen to everything near you. it spooks you on how calm sam and colby can be during this time. The crunch of the leaves calms you down. R/n tries making conversations with you but you respond very dryly. You enter the building by jumping over bricks, assuming its the window part of the wall, basically illegally. Watching your step, you grab onto sam when he helps you down, spitting out a quiet thank you. Lifting your head, taking a look at colby wondering why he didn’t help you. Your mind wonders off, forgetting about the video.

Walking over into a unsettling room, a loud bang echoed through the walls and you freeze in shock. R/N jumps over to Colby and grips his shoulder, Colby comforts her and doesn’t call you over or anything. Ignoring his actions, you walk over to where you think the sound was made as soon you did sam zooms in on you. You shout loudly when a piece of brick fell.

“OH FUCK NO. I’m leaving right now!” you screamed at them, running out the building towards the car. You can hear r/n shout at you to come back, but you ignore her and keep on running. Something about that place felt off, like something or someone was watching you. You shake in terror as you wait for them in the car.

Sam, Colby and r/n open the doors to the car placing the camera down, but obviously still recording they ask you why you left like that. You replied with a shrug and look out the window. The car ride back home was quiet. It was dead silence, and uncomfortable silence. Many thoughts run your mind like “why didn’t colby even comfort me” or “why isn’t he even paying attention to me”. You shake off the thoughts while you grab your stuff and head towards the door of the house. Unlocking the front door, you were greeted by your dog (D/N) you pet it and leave to your shared room with colby.

You walk in and see sam and colby already there. You roll your eyes and grab some clothes to shower. Stopping midway, you ask sam something.

“hey sam.. are you going to post that video?..” you questioned, furrowed your eyebrows.

“yea, what about it?” he replied “well… its nothing.” you answered back, ending the conversation.

2 HOURS LATER

“hey.. are you okay? i realized you didn’t sit with me to eat.” colby asked with concern lingering in his words.

“im fine. you dont need to ask, just be with r/n since you cared about her more and also im sleeping in the guest room.” you walked out with a pillow and blanket. Laying down and staring at the ceiling of room, you think to yourself. “i know colby isn’t gonna care for her since they barely know eachother.., but it hurts to not see him comfort you.” you start dazing off with those lingering thoughts.

NEXT DAY

You scroll through the comments of the video, laughing once in a while because of silly comments. You start noticing comments about colby and you. You frown and read the comments.

“colby looks so cold towards Y/N!!”

“did they break up? they look distant.”

“Why is colby giving her such cold stares.”

“why did colby comfort r/n and not y/n?..”

it goes on and on.

*****

The list of comments goes on and on. Tears trickled down your cheeks as you scroll and scroll through the comment section, tears blurring your vision. You got so fast the stool fell down and made a loud clanking noise that startled sam. Your footsteps banging against the hard wood floor, you slam the bedroom door and sob into your pillow.

Thinking about last night, you realized colby was distant. He was cold towards you the whole night. Sam walks into your room and just hugs you. He knows why you’re acting and feeling like this. He saw the comments.

******

so like.. this is my first post and like idk how to feel abt it. but pt 2 will come out in a few days, ive been so busy w practice so yea.

[fallinginaforrest]

SPOILER WARNING FOR WORKIN BOYS, I BREAK DOWN MY FAVOURITE SHOTS. SPOILERS WILL BE HERE. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.

Okay here's my opinion:

Curt being the DP for Workin' boys is the best thing that coulda happened to it. There are so many choices that were made during filming that just absolutely heighten the level of comedy. It's shot like a Mockumentary almost? The shakycam and the randomized movement? As someone who wrote a Mockumentary last year, I can only dream of pulling off a film like this.

A couple things I wanna point out:

-the minuscule push in on Hidgens when he realises he won the workshop competition feels very office-ey.

-the cut back to MK's amused face had me WHEEZING

-the pan over to Paul as be reminds Hidgens to remember the changes

-"apparently a musical about six men bonding on a football field isnt 'of the times..."'etc, this line right here felt like a talking head, I appreciated it.

-those time cards eg: "Rehearsal #2, 28 days until opening" lent itself so much to the documentarian feel of it.

-"wow, what an auteur", not a camerawork comment but I appreciate the joke for all of the film and theater theory studiers

-the "rehearsal montage" I love a good meta joke.

-even in this montage, the camera is never really onstage. At all. Like, it's always situated off to the side or in the audience, and then zoomed in, the documentarian is trying to capture all of the action on stage instead of trying to make us feel immersed in the rehearsal process. We're not really aligned with any of the characters, we're an audience, and we better stay that way. For our own sake.

-and then this dynamic totally changes, and shifts away from the mockumentary feel

-but I'll get to that in a second

-henry is almost always by himself in the shot. I think the one of the only other times that the entirety of another character's face is seen alongside Henry's (I mean, both faces are CLEAR and uncovered in the shot) is in the two shot of him and Paul's stage manager in the rehearsal montage. He is totally singular in his experiences with this show! He is not one of these girls, if anything he is opposed to them. And this becomes clearer later, but it's a nice seed to sow, establishing that he is not in a collaborative mindset at all. The only other time I can think of is him and Zoey behind the curtain, even then, the only time both of their faces are actually IN the shot is when they're behind all the workin' girls. There's probably more but ykwim.

-also the sheer number of times that Henry is off centre in the shot with just a bunch of space surrounding him.

-okay after "two week notice" or whatever tf that song is called (Kim sounds amazing as always) is when the style shifts. It feels less like a mockumentary and more like this sort of voyeuristic peek into Henry's psyche. I LOVE IT.

-the fact that he is never shown in the shot with the workin' boys! It makes you absolutely feel like he is just talking to the air around him (this is hatchetfield so who knows, either way its unsettling)

-we get aligned with ruth, for the first time, we see the audience from the perspective of a character, not just from a stage POV

-the camera roll!! We don't get a full rotation but we feel dizzy and unsettled when we look at ruth, which is exactly how she feels!

-camera roll close up on Zoey. Uncomfortable, unsettling! Rests in a canted angle before continuing to roll on Hidgens! Who is centered in a low angle shot! We don't see the axe until he brings it up to his face! He is not only in a position of power here, but revealing the axe only when Henry makes it clear he is gonna kill them makes it clear that he calls the shots! We've departed from the Mockumentary style completely, as if this was never a documentary to begin with, more like we're flies on the wall or spirits in the theater or omniscient eldritch beings... anyway-

-long shot of Henry dragging zoey's body, no footage of them being killed, aligns us with the audience

-our friend the camera is getting shakey again, the chaos is in the process of ensueing

-THE PULL OUT SHOT OF GRACE WITH THE GUN. I GASPED. I KNEW IT WAS GONNA HAPPEN AND I GASPED. Fun fact on my first watch I thought this was a dolly shot but I dont think y'all are fitting a dolly on the Hudson theater main stage steps, and also the distance is too short so it must have been a pull out. It was REALLY SMOOTH.

-notice, when grace quotes the bible, we are EVER SO SLIGHTLY looking up at her. It gets progressively more obvious the further she gets into the line, but she has the power now. Somehow she always ends up with the fuckin' power, maybe I should convert to christianity smh.

-shakeycam is back again baby!

The creative minds put so much love and care into Hatchetfield, and you can tell that every project is a passion project. People know starkid primarily as a theater company, and that's great and all, but in reality it's an Avenue for all kind of creatives to not only have the opportunity to create all kinds of amazing things, let alone theater, but also have a way to show people. It's moved past being a theater company, with things like Starkid returns and Workin' boys, it's more like a production collective, and it feels like the beginning of a new era. Not only in terms of broadening the way that they Express themselves and be creative, but also in terms of finding a new niche in the industry. Finding a new, wider audience. Because yeah, you're always gonna have people that dislike the new media you produce, for nostalgia's sake or whatever, but beyond that, there are going to be be people that absolutely love what you have to offer. There's no point in trying to revert back to the way it was before, or trying to cater specifically to an audience from an era gone by. How do you grow as an artist if you're always thinking in the past? Starkid is moving in a new direction. The next musical is likely not going to be hatchetfield, but I dont even mind because it's going to be new. New is always good, and Starkid has a bright future.

TL;DR @curtmega you're a literal genius, and starkid is TOTALLY AWESOME

[fellioticeman]

Imagine at dec 31st, 2059, you are outside either with friends and family, waiting for the fireworks to lit up. Around 12:50am you saw one of your parents friends or uncle grab a box full of fireworks. You look around to see children playing with sparkle tricks or pop-its. You are just sitting down with your partner or friends, both of you are talking about their family drama or any gossips, but after minutes of gossiping, you could hear your father friends yelling that the fireworks are about to begin.

You look at your watch and saw it's 12:58am, you and all your family and friends gather around, watching parents teaching their children to lit up the fireworks. As the fireworks lit and fire, you can see couple kissing, camera recording, or some even eating while watching. you felt happy, experiencing this again, but as you enjoy watching the fireworks, your friend got closer to you and whisper to you with a concerning tone, "what's that?" They said.

You were confused and asked them back with a confusing look "what do you mean?"

Your friend pull out his phone and start zooming at the sky, you observe carefully, not seeing anything, but sparks and smoke from the fireworks, "I can't see anything?" You said.

"Just look more closer." They replied.

You look closer and closer, but after focusing alot, you saw nothing, but as soon your about to tell your friend, you saw a small glimpse of a large wing, you got startled, and started looking at the sky, wondering what that was.

"You saw it, didn't you?" Your friend ask.

"How did you see it?" You asked your friend with curiosity.

"I saw a moving large shadow from the cloud, I thought it's a plane, but it dosent move or act as a plane."

"Maybe..maybe is just a bird." You said.

Your friend agreed, not taking any argument.

As both of you watched the fireworks, you still asking yourself wether is a bird or not, it has a wing of a bird, but the wing is larger than any ordinary bird.

Even tho its larger, not anyone has noticed it, they are focusing only at the fireworks.

You pull put your phone and start recording, many people will think your recording for the fireworks, but you are actually recording for the wings.

He observed carefully for 3 minutes, as he found nothing, he felt disappointed, but relieved.

He heard his uncle yelling to lit up the final and powerful fireworks, you started recording and wait for the last fireworks to fire.

As the fire shoot out and explode from the sky, all the people suddenly stop cheering, they all went in silent, like a empty room.

They all saw a a glimpse of a shadow of a creature, with wings size of the queen size bed, no one ever saw a wing size so large. After a minute of silent, you started to hear a crowd of people in the distance yelling, you couldn't hear any word they said.

You saw parents grabbing their children, a sudden explosion heard from the distance, you starting to scream your mother name, wondering where she was "mother! Brother!" You screamed them out, but couldn't see from the crowds, after screaming and running, and searching, you can hear children crying and explosion closely, as you run to your home, your body froze as you heard a dying sound of a bird from the distance.

You've live inside the town for a very long time since birth, you know, you very much know, birds isnt common here.

[thedevilliers]

this is less a tutorial and more a semi in-depth explanation on my process while taking screenies. my do’s and don’ts about lightning, angles, text/dialogue, close-ups and other!

as a disclaimer, anyone is free to take their screenies however they want and this is just my personal preference and opinions ♡ everything is under the cut! i did say its LONG so dont say i didnt warn u 😳

i use the nobluv2 and noglo mods by luumia! i recommend them 100000%

1. lightning

with its exceptions, this being i’m in a room with candles/chandelier/anything that doesnt naturally produce a white light OR ambiance reasons, my setting with screenies is with the ‘Neutral White’ color. this is for me, more visually appealing than just bathing your sim in yellow light.

EXAMPLES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

warmer white:

poor lit:

good <3:

i usually test my lightning before i actually take any screenies so my sim is well-lit but also preventing overexposure bc of the lighting. an example of overexposure is when for example the lighting is SO strong, your sim looks like its ‘shining’

you can see it here on her chest highlights, her arm and her cheeks. i exaggerated it here so its more obvious. fixing overexposure is HARDER than upping the brightness in a poor-lit screenshot. overexposure and makin sims look like they are SHINING is a crime. JAIL

the best light ever tbh. just dont get... to carried away

1.2 outdoor lightning

this is one a bit trickier depending on your location but USUALLY your screenies would look well dark. again, test lightning before actually shooting screenies! i generally look for a lamp posts that have good lightning and shrink them down so if im taking angled shots, it doesnt get in the way. change the color to neutral white and if its too much lightning, just lower the dimmer:

2. just no

just no to all this:

in general, you can ZOOM to the max, and with the scroll-wheel zoom out THREE TIMES. four times we on the edge but its still acceptable. five times and you are goin to JAIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

in general i also recommend having a semi-big room so you can move around without any problems. small rooms DO work but chances are while moving around you’re either going to go outside the room, run into a plant in the shot or into another decor item.

for example, this is a ‘small’ room. while taking photos i have run into the bookshelves for over the shoulder shots like 8000 times. still, doable, but why put myself thru the suffering>?????

2.2 fill the room

nothin sadder than, for example, doing a bedroom scene and there just being...a bed. the game comes with so much clutter and theres also a lot of clutter cc to make rooms seem more ‘lived in’. its also a lot more visually appealing than the room being empty.

3. angles for screenies

my controversial OPINION!!!! i dont care for FULL surroundings shots for more than for a singular panel. THERE I SAID IT!!! usually i show the surroundings/scene setting in ONE panel and then i move on to other angles. again, has exceptions. these being a banquet, party, ball, another sim joins the scene, montages, etc! ANYWHERE that has something happening with multiple people in general.

for example, i don’t see why repeat the same angle with different poses. i can do it for one panel, but for the next ones? there’s the option of over the shoulder shots,  detail shots, them looking at each other shots, cinammon tography shots........... more than likely your reader already has an idea of where your characters are so showing it in every single panel is not necessary.

always try and leave a lil breathin room for the heads on top so it isnt all CRAMPED! but this all depends on the pose, if theres a height difference included in said poses and the angle you are taking the screenshot from!

same thing about not just doing...full on surrounding shots for when something is HAPPENING. say, someone is fainting, collapsing...ANYTHIN!! theres so many shot options than just repeating the same angle over and over again. DONT BE SHY!!!! DO VARIETY !!!

we in photography class now. BUT yes keep these in mind ALSO while taking photos so it isnt just the same angle, same distance just different pose. your sim has a nice outfit? showing it once is enough! every panel? ummmm......... your sim is crying?  do a medium close up/medium shot and not a full body shot!

3.1 close ups

your close ups and ALL screenies in general, don’t have to be FRONTAL only. they can be right/left side, a lil angled...

waist/chest level is a good level for a close-up sim wise since if you ZOOM in too much WELL

4. text/dialogue

i’d recommend any SANS-SERIF fonts. serif fonts are so hard to read even if nice looking. usually a font-size of over 40px+ works and you can add outside stroke and even drop shadow!

i personally use calibri (bold italic) for my screenies, but other subtitle fonts like arial, myriad pro, helvetica...really any sans-serif ones work.

my stroke settings:

i also wouldn’t recommend putting 4000 word paragraphs in ONE screenie because it’s just visually exhausting. the MAXIMUM i’d do and thats if ABSOLUTELY necessary is FOUR!!!! lines of text. id keep it to three ONLY and thats if your text is the same size as mine. if bigger then two 😳

yes <3:

another no-no for readability is INSIDE stroke or adding bevel/emboss to the text. pick bright, contrasting colors to the background or even clothes your characters are wearing so it’s not hard to read.

something a lil extra i also recommend is if your dialogue has different sentences and one ends and another one starts in the same line, continue it on another line. DOES THIS MAKE SENSE ok lets see:

the “Yes, maybe I went on [...]” continues on the first line, but to make it a bit easier to read just press enter and move it to the second line so it’s on it’s own line.

same thing for the "Be nice or [...]” line! it gets cut off to the third line anyways, so just put it in a singular line. final result:

for me, this is easier to read, less I GUESS ‘immersion breaking’  and easier on the eyes too.

and just other quick things to keep in mind:

will the post be horizontal or vertical? if its vertical, you have to angle and move the camera around keeping in mind you’re going to crop it later. yes, the scenary might be nice if its horizontal, but a lil vertical photo is cute!

best times for OUTDOOR lightning photos are 2pm-4pm. morning light is a bit too dark, 12 pm is the slightest too bright, but 2pm-4pm is just ENOUGH!!!

and thats all : ) i THINK i talked about most things screenies wise??? if you have questions, my askbox is always open : ) and remember these are just my opinions : )

[markitchi]

pile of headcanons

bunch of raihan/leon headcanon nonsense from my twit*r

theres alot under the cut, warning : its cheesy, also, i headcanon raihan calling leon "bubu"

Raihan is really good at baking and leon is great at cooking savory & spicy food, raihan likes spicy food and leon likes baked goods, they complete each other

Leon so thick and firm he'd be so good to hug and raihan took advantage of that, holding his bubu until leon complains or whine, yknow when ur pet looks so cute and u hug them, like that

leon contacts name on raihans phone is like "♥💖my bubu♥💕", but raihans contact name on leons phone is "Raihan" with capital R

raihan complained about it, showed leons contact name on his phone, leon is surprised bc he thought his contact name on raihans phone is just "Leon" or "Lee"

then leon changes rai's contact name too "🥰raihoney💖

leon doesnt look like the guy who'd be extra on hair and skin treatment, the reason his hair and skin (especially his hair) is unbearably soft and shiny is bc raihan kept reminding him to do so (and buying it)

sometimes leon act spoiled so raihan will do an entire haircare for him

yes raihan do it bc he loves leon unconditionally and he thinks leon deserves it

raihan has a dirty mouth and uses every swear word but for some reasons, around leon all he can say is "jerk" "ugly" and "dumb"

raihan does that bc all he remember when hes with leon is pet names and how-to-coo-and-woo-your-boyfriend

raihan being leons moral compass feels fitting, not bc leon is dumb but bc leon himself is swallowed by his own title and got the hero complex, making him selfless and have a hard time to say no

raihan is there to "what the fuck are you thinking, dont do that baby, you'll die"

but leon seems stubborn yes? he wont listen if people just say "no", he'd ask the reason why, and if the said person doesnt give a clear answer, he leaves but raihan always tries to explain him in full description, short & long lasting damage, consequence etc

so obviously leon listens, and as time goes by, raihan is.. his moral compass, in a way

raihan playfully growls while squeezing leons body parts but its definitely not so playful in leons mind

raihan always ask leon to wear his freshly-washed-hoodie at sunday so when he go to work at monday, his hoodie will smell like leon

raihans laugh is like "aha haha haha *low volume wheeze* phew heehee" and leon got a laugh that can trigger an earthquake

Raihan sneeze like a kitten while leon sneeze like a buldozer

Leon muffles his laugh by hugging raihan so it wont surprise anyone around them

leon demanding affection from raihan by giving him stupid empty threats

leon : Kiss me or ill

raihan : u will what

leon : i-i will shrink your hoodie and make it mine

raihan : no, now come here bubu

In reality, leon doesnt need to do "things" to get raihans attention, raihan told him he can just ask or "just sit on my lap or tug my shirt and ill cuddle and kiss you till the next day", but leons ego is too high for that so he does stupid shit instead

raihan is very loved by leons family bc surprisingly hes able to stop leon and hop from fighting

if u ask how, raihan simply pick up leon up and walk away

aihan is the only guy who leon will listen too and got called as the "champion tamer"

but all raihan do is just

raihan : bubu, no

leon : no..?

raihan : leon. no

leon : no...

then nag him softly while explaining the consequences, sometimes short and long term effect it depends on the situation

leon is stubborn, so it took sometime to convince him that his plan or an action he almost took to partake is very impulsive or doesnt give a good result

the thing is leon is not stupid, infact hes quite brilliant, therefore its hard to convince him if a person who tries to stop him doesnt have a similiar mind like he is, but thankfully theres raihan

for some reasons raihan is able to found leon in any occasion so the league staff ALWAYS calls him whenever leons gone

league staff : mr rai-

raihan : is it leon

league staff : yes

raihan : im on my way

leon likes to ask raihan for hairbands bc he kept losing them

raihan : bubu, isnt this your third time asking for them this week

leon : ....yes..?

raihan spoiling leon bc he feels he wants to make up for him, bc he wasnt available near leon when fought eternatus

leon follows raihan everywhere in the winter and kept pressing himself to him, whenever raihan question whats wrong leon just looked him in the eye and "im warming you up"

leon is small by raihans perspective but he hugs leon tight anyway

raihan is possessive of leon hes THAT hot, charismatic yet very adorable, leon is the one who keeps his chin up and soothe his fears, and hes the champion, everyone wants the champion, u think he'll let go that easily? no, never

and leon is probably possessive too, raihan is a hot nerd, affectionate and gentle, hes the one who push him to his best, the one who also stops him for doing too much, hes his source of comfort and he wont let go and wont let anyone take his raihan away from him for sure

10 years of friendship and healthy rivalry means 10 years of being on each others live, being one of the biggest contributor and supporter for the other, who pushes to the limit yet stopping when one is too close to the edge of the cliff

no matter if its platonic or romantic, they wont let anyone take their rival, friend and lover away that easy, you wont let anyone try to take away one of the important and huge part of your life

raihan big, so hes the big spoon, he loves cooing right at leons ears and kissing the back of his neck, shoulders and sometimes reaches forward to press a sloppy wet kiss to leons cheek

leon crying to raihan when he founds out raihan smokes when hes stressed out, and begging the other to stop and talk to him instead or cope with healthier way

raihan doesnt need an alarm clock to wake him up, leons just need to grin and say "good morning!" its so bright it WILL wake him up

raihan and leon lives together and since then the outfit leon has on his wardrobe is a collection of formal tailored outfits and his battle tower outift, some booty shorts and work out clothing, and obviously underwear and socks.the rest he just stole from raihan

especially t-shirts, hoodies, and jacket, raihan seeing him walking and opening his wardrobe after shower is such a common occurence that he doesnt even need to ask anymore

raihan looks like the type who carries lipbalm and hand cream in his hoodie pocket, he carries 2, 1 cocoa lipbalm for him and honey lipbalm for leon. whenever he met leon, he applies the lip balm on him, it becomes habit that leon even raise his chin up for raihan

leon can sleep alone fine, but when he woke up he felt groggy,but if he slept on top of raihan he'd woke up like he had a perfect 8 hours sleep even tho he slept for only 5 hours

raihan is a heavy sleeper but waking up with leon glued to his chest/back make his whole day better,especially when he woke up to leon peppering his face with kisses to wake him up

raihan being lowkey flustered and overwhelmed by leons beauty/cuteness/sexiness/everything while leon is being clingy and acting spoiled around him

leon cant be serious around raihan, when he saw the gym leader,he automatically let his guard down infront of him, changing from champion leon to leon from postwick, all giddy and happy

leon unzips his champion outfit and once raihan heard the zipping sound he zooms to leon to plant his face between leons chest

if leon wants attention from raihan he will do various things from holding his arm and press his head to raihans shoulders,sitting on his lap and loop his arm around raihans neck,hugging him from the front and put on a cute face

but if raihan wants attention he just, hug leon from behind,put his head on leons shoulder and doesnt let go until leon does SOMETHING

leon has been taking care of others for so long,so when raihan takes care of him ,its a new,yet quite familiar feeling.

its hard to accept since he felt bad about receiving the attention,but raihan kept doing it until leon tend to act spoiled around him

raihan always kiss leons forehead before he sleeps,when raihan is away, he has the urge to videocall raihan so he can coo him to sleep,but hes too embarrassed to do it

he thought abt that and raihan suddenly videocalling him,its noon on the region he visited, and hes like "heeeey, i just want to say good night to my beloved!! good night leon,sweet dreams,sorry bc i cant kiss your forehead but ill kiss u 10x more when im back"

leon was shocked and stared to his camera "lee? fuck,is the connection that bad-" and leon stuttered "n-no! i was surprised...thank you darling, have fun and stay safe okay?"

"of course! dont stay up thinking abt me for too long,i love you so much bubu,good night!

"..good afternoon raihoney,i love you too" leon stayed up for the next 20 minutes rolling around the bed screaming

raihan actually helps leon on taking care of his dragons, which made leons dragonmons actingspoiled around raihan,and sometimes leon thinks that his dragons loves raihan more than him

raihan plays with his dragonmon as if hes playing with a yamper,calling them "cute little babywubby" and playing with their hands,kissing their foreheads and lays with them on the floor,and of course leon joins in by laying on top or next to raihan

even leon have seen raihan carrying his dragapult like a baby with a baby axew hugging his legs, raihan is legit a dragon pokemon magnet

raihan has a habit of cooing or complimenting at leon even when hes doing the simplest thing ever and leon feels giddy like a 5 y.o everytime raihan does it

can u imagine how many pictures of leon raihan have on his phone,its probably more than 1000, he takes picture of leon as if hes a baby pokemon

leon comes to raihans place at 2 am without any warning,i mean raihan DID gave him a spare key so, raihans flat is HIS flat too,and there he goes,going to the bedroom and slip himself under the duvet,crawling to sleep closer to raihan

at first raihan is SO surprised that he jumped from the bed,but now he doesnt care anymore and just kiss leons head,mumbles "goo'nite bubh" and sleep again

leon does it so often that if hes gone from his apartment,people call raihan instead of him

raihan hugging leon from the back while leon is doing stuff in the kitchen while singing,and raihan is there like,peppering smooches and compliments while leon is STILL singing,and giggling bc raihan is smooching him

raihan is BAD at it but he sings along with leon in a joking manner and leon cant even sing anymore bc hes just wheezing while raihan is just "cmOn bAbeEEe SING AgAiiiNNnn"

[akaashisbabygirl]

Okay but imagine this so your giving kuroo head right and hes on facetime with bokuto and he doesnt know and your literally just on your knees nonchalant and kuroo is keeping his composure because this isnt the first time you've giving him head while he was on call he just never got caught but this time he slipped up and accidently let's out a moan after you deep throated him and bokutos like "bro you good" and kuroo froze at first but then he smirked and straights up says "yeah my kittens just sucking daddy off just right" and you keep going cause your fuckin horny and kuroo had said in the beginning yall started that "if your a good girl you'll get a reward" so your going at it and bokutos like a blushing mess and stuttering that he should end the call but kuroo's says "no dont leave my baby loves an audience right kitten?" And you hum around him and the vibrations make him groan again so he flips his camera so bokuto can see and you can hear bokuto breath hitch and hes just stunned and cant move cause hes flustered and then you can here like a belt unbuckle and then you hear groaning coming from the phone and its bokuto and kuroo starts talking "isnt she pretty bokuto? Sucking my cock off like an obedient little slut fuck, you like bokuto watching you dont you fucking slut" and then he starts throat fucking you and hes getting close to his point so hes fucking your throat even harder and it's getting sore but you dont give a shit and then he tells you to take all his cum and bokutos moans are getting louder too meaning hes close to his point and then kuroo cums straight down your throat and you hear bokuto let out a strangled moan , you swallow and your all breathing hard and then kuroo speaks and says "bokuto you dont live that far from where we are you wanna help me reward my kitten" and bokuto yells out a yes and hangs up and you already know that bitch is zooming down that street and kuroo tells you to lay down with your legs spread open with only your panties on and your panties are already soaked so kuroo just smirks when he looks down at them and he hears knocking at the door and goes downstairs to open it and you can hear people coming up the stairs and the door opens to kuroo and bokuto looking at you like your their prey and then kuroo says "let's play" and they walk up to the bed like fucking predators and then YOU CAN USE YOUR IMAGINATION 😁👌

seeing bokuto now on top of you was more embarrassing than seeing him over the phone. he’d already watched you suck kuroo off, until his cum was dripping from your lips and down your cheek. “come on, what are you watching for? she’s so needy for us bokuto. i think it’s about time we both get started.”

[reineyday]

geraskier zoom conference hc's based on that 'and they were video conferencing' post

(this has turned into a fic in point-form oops; also it's more pre-slash 'cuz this quarantine is ongoing and i don't have any specific ideas about how a relationship discussion would go or be handled over zoom haha)

it starts as a group conference call between yennefer and triss and jaskier and geralt probably because yen and triss and geralt run some sort of small business and they need jaskier for something artistic probably (he's a freelancer)

let's say they have some sort of start-up to do with children's education somehow, inspired by ciri, and they want to start a small educational web series and they want music in each episode and so hire jaskier as a composer

geralt is in charge of episode content because this web series is gonna be about mythology and he has a masters in it and has done a fair amount of traveling for it (and lowkey has been learning about different kinds of myrhs and legends and heroes and monsters all his life alongside swordfighting thanks vesemir)

ANYWAYS at first they just talk about work: geralt knows which myths he wants to talk about and how, but can't quite come up with a good narrative because he has a bad tendency to ramble on about very precise specific details that get boring, and he also doesnt know how to set the tone for children despite having one himself

jaskier suggests they make the show centre around a hero that is a witcher who goes off on adventures meeting all these creatures, and jaskier already has some fun ideas for songs

jaskier thinks geralt isnt very forthcoming but he's clearly interested in the project and there's excitement in his eyes when he says ciri will like something they write together

geralt also gets kind of moody about inaccuracies (like a nerd 'cuz he is one lol), and jaskier thinks it's funny and likes to pull his leg by saying they should just change this detail or that detail and that he's allowed bc he's the composer and he's taking creative liberties

about three zoom meetings in, they decide the witcher should have a horse and jaskier says they should give it a name and geralt says "roach" and jaskier laughs and asks about cockroaches and geralt looks... petulant??? and says there are fish called roach too and he meant the fish, and jaskier feels fond and relents and says yes fine the horse's name is "roach"

the next video call they have, they start talking again about work and jaskier's trying not to focus too much on the fact that geralt has shown up with his hair braided but goodness it makes him look softer with the way it pulls back and some strands of hair escape to frame his face

geralt eventually notices and hmms his questioning hmm (and when did jaskier start distinguishing the difference?) and when jask asks about the braid, geralt's face goes EVEN SOFTER and says ciri can't practice braiding on her friends' hair at school anymore so she practices with him and jaskier's like "well fuck that's it this is it ive never even seen him in person but here we are this is a crush oh shit"

the first time geralt laughs is because in one of their meetings, jaskier decided he was gonna be chill and wear a work shirt but just his boxers with stupid cartoon pizzas on them, amd he feels so comfortsble he forgets he's just wesring his underwrar 'till he gets up to grab his acoustic guitar and geralt sounds like he was startled into laughter and yeah, that's right, he's wearing stupid boxers and he flushes but geralt looks pretty amused and jaskier did that so he's not too embarrassed

halfway through the session after that, where jaskier has given up on slightly professional looking clothes but has committed to wearing something over his boxers at all times, he hears some barking and he sees a german shepherd's nose enter the bottom of the frame by geralt's arm

jaskier is obviously like YOU HAVE A DOG and geralt explains ciri usually plays with him during their meetings but they decided to go earlier that day and when jaskier asks what the dog's name is, geralt pauses and looks a cross between irritated and embarassed and then says "roach"

jaskier laughs and laughs and geralt just looks on stoically and it's not on his mouth but jaskier can see the pout in his eyes, but after he's done laughing, all he says is, "like the fish" and geralt smiles a tiny smile and shakes his head and jaskier's a goner, truly

one day, jaskier is caught on trying to find the perfect wording and chord progression for one of the episodes, and focuses on his guitar and keyboard for a while as he toys with this key and that rhyme, and when he looks up, geralt is in a kitchen putting on tea and mixing something in a pot and it's an hour past when they usually hang up

"you could have stopped me, you know?" jaskier asks, but geralt looks at him and hmms and jaskier feels all warm goddammit

he tells jaskier to go take a break and jaskier obliges and brings his laptop to his kitchen and they kind of just have tea together for twenty minutes before something dings and geralt has to go 'cuz it's dinner time for him and ciri

the next meeting, geralt shows up and his daughter's there in the background and she has hair like geralt's and a sunshine personality the complete opposite of geralt (though they both give off disintguished kinds of vibes)

jaskier is charmed; she's a great cheerleader and a wonderful person to run ideas by especially considering she's the target age group for their show, and when she makes a comment about how she wishes she could play the ukulele she got as a gift two years ago, jaskier brightens up and says he can teach her

now jaskier zoom calls a little earlier so ciri can have a short ukulele lesson before his work meeting with geralt, and it's so nice whenever he hears ciri practicing off to the side or roach barking from out of the frame and jaskier wonders what it would be like to truly be in the house with them

the next meeting after, they go a bit too long again bc they were arguing (well, jaslier was actually pulling geralt's leg some more, to be honest, but he can't help it if that's how he flirts), and ciri shows up and says it's time for food and when jaskier says he'll leave them to it, ciri suggests he just stay on amd they can eat together

geralt doesn't immediately say no and actually seems to be waiting for jaskier's answer so jaskier says yeah okay, and he grabs some food and they all have dinner together and they get to talking and jakier and ciri bond over disney movies and ciri says she wants to watch them together the three of them and yennefer and triss

the watch party happens and over zoom yennefer seems deeply amused the entire time and triss keeps giggling and geralt seems extra annoyed for some reason but jaskier enjoys himself and sings along to the movie and he tries not to imagine sitting right next to geralt on his couch on the side not occupied by his daughter

jaskier wakes up with a headache very close to their meeting time one day, and kind of just opens his laptop while he's lying in bed and opens the window to wait for geralt to start the meeting while he reaches over to get his ukulele 'cuz it's the closest instrument to his bed and the easiest on his brain when it's pounding like this

when he settles back against his headbkard and pillows once more, geralt is looking at him with a frown and asks if he's feeling okay, to which jaskier replies he's fine it's not covid he just gets headaches every now and then and it sucks but he can still compose (and he shakes his lil uke at the camera)

geralt says no he should sleep and when jaskier pouts he says he's going to sit here and wait for jaskier to put down the damn ukulele and drink some water and eat a granola bar and then tuck himself back into bed and he looks all fierce about it while he says it and how can jaskier not lug his laptop around while he does these things and fall a little more in love

eventually it becomes totally normal for jaskier to just hang out for long stretches of time, whether or not they talk about their witcher web series, and they cook together and hang out in their pajamas and jaskier and ciri have their music lessons and their disney nights and geralt even starts getting him to work out during some of their work breaks by doing 8 minuts abs

(jaskier was pretty adamant about not exercising but said he's do it just the one time but after 8 minutes of pain, geralt was flushed and kind of sweaty and said he needed to chamge his shirt anf then just took it off right there on the camera before he walked out frame to grab a new one and jaskier had to rush to pick his jaw off the floor before going to change out of his own sweaty clothes and yeah so he does 8 minute abs with geralt sometimes now)

once, geralt sends him a zoom link for a meeting at 2am on a night when jaskier can't fall asleep (his sleeping schedule's been so fucked since quarantine started) and when jaskier joins him, he looks like hell and he apologizes but when jaskier says he probably won't sleep for another three hours anyways, geralt looks the tiniest bit grateful and asks if they can work so they do, and if jaskier writes a song that's a little more like a lullabye dyring their meeting, and feels like his heart is about to burst when geralt, who'd moved from his desk to his couch, nods off while jaskier softly sings to him, well... jaskier doesn't know what to do with himself after he makes sure geralt is properly sleeping and then leaves the zoom meeting

they work and work and really get to know each other and then, all of a sudden, there are no more songs to be written for their witcher series and jaskier says "that's the last song, i think" and geralt hmms but neither of them hangs up

jaskier bites his lip and says, "i'll see you at the team meeting we'll have with yennefer and triss to wrap up my contract, i guess?"

and geralt says, "you should add me on facebook; we should keep in touch for future projects"

jaskier tries not to feel too bummed out because this is still a connection point and also yay more creative projects with the hot man he is probably definitely in love with and also potentially more money! but he's still a little bummed and then he decides if he's going to feel bummed he should at least do something about it and he says, "i will! you know facebook has video chat too"

and geralt hmms again but there's definitely a smile, and it's even an actual smile! "im aware," he says, and then before he hangs up the zoom call he looks stern and adds, "dont forget about ciri's ukulele lessons" and honestly jaskier wasn't expecting to continue with them but he's relieved they can still keep doing those

he shoots geralt that friend request and sates the need to scroll down his wall by going through geralt's past previous profile photos instead (they're usually of him and ciri and they're adorable)

and then, delight of delights, the next day around when they usually have their meeting, there's a video chat request from one geralt of rivia coming through facebook, and even more delightful: geralt's clearly on his phone and he only waits on the screen long enough to make sure jaskier's there and to give him a quirked eyebrow and a trademark hmm before he turns the camera around and jaskier is treated to an outside view and a walk with geralt and roach via mobile

and thus geralt becomes a fixture of his every day life

[basket-of-loquats]

12 and 15 for the mdzs asks?

12. Saddest Moment

Oh boy. Uh, the first moment that I can remember really really getting to me was the scene where Wei Wuxian and Jiang Cheng were running away from Lotus Pier, and after their whole fight and stuff, Jiang Cheng just collapses in the grass and starts just weeping and asking for his mom and then he just like, collapses in the grass, and Wei Wuxian collapses too, and we just get this shot of the camera zooming out on the field with jiang cheng and wei wuxian curled up in their grief and literally too exhausted to go on and it just. fucking got me man. 

Becuase this is the untamed i cant just give ONE sad moment, so here’s a couple more that i won’t get into but made me lose my ever loving shit: jiang cheng cradling his sister’s dead body while the fight rages around him and he doesn’t even seem to see it, wei wuxian’s crazed laughter devolving into wild sobs and eventually just screams of pain, “wei ying. come back. WEI YING!”, song lan reaching and reaching and reaching and coming JUST short of touching xingchen, xingchen screaming out a literal howl of agony as he covers his hears and doubles over himself while xue yang just wont shut the fuck up, song lan walking out of yi city and down the road alone with shanghua on his back, ok actually every moment of yi city, post guanyin temple when lan xichen is just sitting on the steps, too shocked and worn out to even make a facial expression, but too shocked and worn out to stop the tears just pouring down his face, and also that time when wei wuxian was like “let’s go lan zhan” but then he turns around and lan zhan isnt coming with him and wei wuxian’s smile just fades as he realizes. yeah that entire last scene from there to the closing shot, i was sobbing my heart out. it was quite dramatic and quite unnecessary of me but like. come on. you’re going to go through fifty episodes of YEARNING and then LEAVE EACH OTHER?

15. Any Ship You Like Besides WangXian

look if you’ve spent even one minute on my blog... you’ll know...

but besides songxiao, i like xuanli! depending on the mood im in, i like 3zun too. and /sometimes/ if it’s done right, i like sangcheng. oh, and baoyi!!! We have virtually no content for baoshan sanren/lan yi but im living for the fucking lesbians baby!!!

[gaillol-13]

ITTHIGSS AU

Cartoon encounter.

Part 3 of this (part 2) Swear warning!

*sigh* "it just doesn't make any sense!"

I've been trying to figure out who that guy is for a while now, ever since I got home from the interview today. It just seemed like something out of a horror film, I don't understand. And they sounded so much like...no. I sat down for a moment to look at the pictures I took, and tried to recall what happened in the room with the tv (and the closet).

"Ok, so blood was coming out of the Tv," I spoke "I heard the killer walking towards me, with their arms out to grab me. They're voice sounded static-like, they were humming the Captoon's theme song. And then one of the police officers went in the room, the humming stopped, I looked in the closet but they were gone...they..."

I sighed.

"They sounded so much like Benjamin, like, identical, the only difference is the static. But, he's been dead for almost a year now, it just doesn't make any sense..."

"Beb-beeep, beb-beeeeep!!! Movement detected!!!"

What?! Theres someone trying to get in the house? I immediately check the security cameras but find no one there. The only evidence is the broken steel doors and a note, I zoomed in on it to get a closer look at what it said, I turned pale.

"Bonjournie~ Mr.Melvin :)"

That's what the note said, and the paper had the same static texture as the hammer piece I had.

The same person who killed those criminals is here, and I'm next.

"MOTHER FUCKER!!!" I screamed, "Why? Why me?! Why is this guy targeting me?! Of course, its because I know too much, I should have just kept quiet, I should have just said they committed suicide, that would have made more sense than a cannibalistic cartoon-loving prick by slaughtering them with nooses and a fucking rubber hammer!!! But noooo! I have to open my big mouth and now this fucker's gonna kill me!!! GOD DAMN IT!!!!"

I tried my best to calm down, it's not easy to think if I'm going into my dinosaur brain. Okay, everything is going to be fine, he must have a weakness, everybody has one. I have lots of inventions that could be good in the situation I'm in, I just gotta think of a plan. Think Melvin think, if I were a cannibal who loves captoon, what would be my weakness?

Hmm... I looked around my room, I spotted one a bottle of paint thinner, huh. I saw this in a game once, thinner can dissolve paint, which is what cartoon characters are made out of. I thought for a moment.

He likes the Captoon cartoon, and George and Harold made that cartoon. So if I'm gonna get this guy, (I cant believe I'm about to say this) I gotta think like George and harold.

Aww hell with it!

I grabbed the thinner bottle and loaded it in a spray gun, its ridiculous, but it's my best shot. And who knows, maybe some of the robot guards took care of him already.

*THUD!!*

"OW! @%#$!!!!"

What was that?! I mean, it was obviously a cry out in pain coming from downstairs (the living room to be exact), but AFTER it sounded like a beeping sound butchered by radio static. But that didn't matter now, the fact is that this guy is in my house, I have a plan (sort of), and I'm ready for whatever is down there.

I grabbed my flashlight and slowly made my way downstairs, he could be anywhere. I turned the lights in the hallway on, no one was there though. I looked in the kitchen, as expected, the fridge was open and most of the food in there was gone, and all of the leftover guac had vanished (THAT really caused a shiver to go down my spine). When I got close to the living room, I heard a noise, or more specifically, music.

I went in the living room to find the TV playing the Captoon theme song, huh. Guess I was right about him liking that, I grabbed the remote and turned the TV off.

T h e m u s i c d i d n ' t s t o p .

Almost paralyzed with fear, I pressed the off button again, still playing, pressed it again, still going. No matter how many times I pressed it, the music kept playing. It only took me one second to realize the music was coming from behind me...along with that same feeling I had back at the abandoned school...

Oh no...

Before I could turn around, I felt something wrap around me, I looked down, I saw an arm.

Yeah, that's right, an arm was wrapping around my torso. How did I know it was an arm, at the end of it there was a gloved hand, gloved...it sorta gave me rubberhose cartoon vibes. Come to think of it, the arm was fully white like a rubberhose, I would have thought about it more I wasn't in peril.

"AAA-MMF!!!" I tried to scream, but the hand covered my mouth in an instant. The arm was fully wrapped around me now, only leaving my head uncovered.

I kicked and squirmed around trying to escape, no dice. The arm slowly turned me around, I soon realized that the arm was waaayyy longer than I previously thought. It stretched all the way to the far side of the hallway where there was nothing but darkness, nothing except...two...eyes...staring at me.

These weren't normal dot eyes, hohooohh nooo! These had the pupils and the sclera!!! And they were huge!! Who was this guy? No, scratch that. WHAT was this guy?! Forgive me for being Captain Obvious here, but there no fucking way this...thing is human!!

He was walking towards me, I squeezed my eyes shut, shit, I'm fucked. I'm going to be food, I could already see the headlines. "Class S Melvin sneedly (aka the smartest and sexiest man alive) becomes human Foie Gras to rubberhose monster". This is my end!!!

Then he (or it, I don't even know anymore) spoke.

"Shhhh, calm down."

What? Calm down?! I opened my eyes, he was still walking towards me, his eyes still the only things I could see. They looked...guilty.

"I know your scared right now." He continued

"Mmff mfm mff!!" I muffled sarcastically, it roughly translated to "NO SHIT SHERLOCK!!!", and he knew it. As he became more and more visible, I froze.

The clothes...

The body figure...

The toupee...

He was a spitting image of Benjamin, except the eyes I mentioned earlier (which now revealed that he had pie-slice pupils). And there was no color, only shades of white (his skin), grey, and black...I was filled with shock...which then shifted to seething anger.

What right does this asshole have to impersonate MY boss?! NONE!! WHAT THE FUCK!!! I kicked at him furiously while delivering muffled screeching. Who the hell does he think he is?!

"Melvin please calm down-OW!"

I bit his gloved hand, he's NOT gonna tell me what to do.

"DONT "MELVIN" ME!!" I screamed "YOU CANT JUST WALTZ IN HERE THINKING I'LL LISTEN TO YOU, ESPECIALLY AFTER WHAT HAPPENED TO THE CRIMINALS YOU VILE POMPOUS CANNIBALISTIC PRICK!!! WHO ARE YOU?! WHY ARE YOU IN MY HOUSE?! WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO EVEN BE?! WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE BENJAMIN?! AND WHATS YOU LAST MEAL REQUEST CUZ OOOOOHHH DEAR SWEET DAV PILKEY AM I GONNA REPORT YOUR ASS!!!"

He gave gave me a look that was a combination of surprise, pity, scared, and impressed.

"Gosh," I heard him mutter under his static breath "that last bit kinda rhymed..".

How is this happening, when did I become prisoner of a cartoon monstrosity. Why, how. This doesn't-...then it clicked.

"This is a dream."

"Wha?"

It's the only reasonable explanation.

"This isnt real, of course. What was I thinking."

I breathe the sigh of relief, phew.

"Why else would you look like Benjamin, it's obvious my subconscious is missing him, and the reason why your a cartoon is because I've been watching captoon too much. And why are you after me? Because it's just my subconscious being guilty of Benjamin's death, like I felt responsible, like I was supposed to be there with him when it happened. It all makes sense!!"

The behemoth rolled his eyes, but that didn't matter. What matters is that this isnt real, it's just a horrible nightmare. I dont know when I fell asleep (probably when I passed out stress-eating all those croissants at the interview), but either way I'm glad that it will be over---

"OW!!!"

I felt something sharp jab me in the arm, I looked to see his gloved hand, only a little different. The pointer finger was longer and the tip was pointy, sorta like and overgrown fingernail. Either way, it hurt, and he was still there, this wasn't a dream, it was real life.

"Real enough for ya?" All I could do was nod as I watched the finger retract and return to its proper form and shape, then I heard him sigh.

"Look, they're going to search the abandoned school so I need a place to stay-" I cut him off. "Give me ONE good reason why I shouldn't call the authorities."

"Cuz they would never believe you."

I opened my mouth to protest, but then i thought for a moment. He was right, they wouldn't. There was a saying in the book Our Lord Dav, where he quoted "people can be too smart for their own good" which ment if someone was too smart, they would become insane. The police might think just that if I tell them theres a living cartoon in my house.

"Please," I looked back up at him. Seeing his sad, pleading face. "I just need to hide hear for a bit, just a lil bit. I know I'm the last guy you wanna trust right now, especially after last night. But...*sigh*... I REALLY need your help...just let me stay."

I was speechless, I was starting to doubt that this was the same person that killed those criminals. His expression seemed so...bonafide. Pupils dilated to a sorrow filled manner, lips trembling, it felt like the equivalent of looking at a sad puppy. But...how do I know I should trust him.

"Your not gonna kill me?"

"Of course not!!!" He protested, by now the arm he had wrapped around me was retracted back to him, but I really wasn't paying attention. "I'm not a monster!!!"

Not a monster? My eyes narrowed.

He then rubbed the back of his head, chuckling nervously, "I guess I am if you define a monster as a creature that defies the laws of physics and nature, heh. But I'm talking about one that's heartless, ruthless, and selfish."

His eyes then darted away and his face suddenly became sour. His tone changed completely.

"Like the @*#%$, Theodore..."

Theres only one person I know who could sound and act like that when the subject was Ted murdsly...

I threw myself at him in an embrace, eyes filled with tears...

"You are Benjamin..."

I was both in shock and joy. I couldn't believe my boss was alive...I started sobbing.

"I miss you so much..."

I felt him hug me back.

"Heh, miss ya too Mel. It's been very lonely, even with him around, it's nice to see an old friend again..."

I started crying into his shoulder, I was so relieved. For one, I now know that I'm not gonna be dinner. Two, the others will be thrilled to hear that their favorite grumpy boss is back (especially her. If you catch my drift). But I thought for a moment...

"What do you mean by "even with him around"?"

He then lead me to a chair, "sit down, and let me tell you how I'm alive."

So he told me...and dear dav is it a doozy.

So after Benjamin died, George and harold were starting the Captoon cartoons, they had the help of dressy. But in the making of the first tape reel of season 1, dressy sprinkled some dust on it, making Captoon sentient. Then the boys took it to Benjamin's gravestone, and placed it there. Then lightning struck the tape and it started to melt, along with the world in it.

In major pain, Captoon got out of the tape and into Benjamin's corpse, sort of merging with it. Another lightning struck the same spot again. And since dead people come back to life when they get zapped with electricity in cartoons, thats exactly what happened to Benjamin.

He wakes up, they meet, he tells him how he died (turns out it wasn't an accident), and Captoon gets an idea. Since he needs a physical body to stay in (cuz otherwise he would melt and die), and Benjamin needs Captoon's cartoon physiques to stay alive, they become one. Becoming Krupptoon.

It finally made sense now.

"So now you know." Krupptoon said, then grabbed a nearby glass and drunk from it. Then he noticed my mind-blown expression.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, it's just...alot to take in. Does that mean your dead body is still in you?"

"Uh-huh, wanna see?"

Intrigued, I nodded, after what I saw last night, this wont really effect me. Then his head began to shift, the white static-like skin seemed to dissolve. Revealing a pale, bloody, and very very dead head.

The left side (his left side) of the head had the skull smashed open showing that parts of the brain were missing, and pretty much almost all of the left side (again, his left) of the head looked like it was demolished from impact.

His eye (on his right) looked lifeless, yet it had a distinct green glow, don't know why. Oh yeah, and it smelled, it smelled repulsive.

I felt the urge to puke which he immediately took notice of and grabbed a nearby bucket, then he gave it to me.

5 minutes and 43 seconds of vomiting later... I looked at him for a closer inspection.

"Hmm, it seems only the left side is affected."

He then reached into his pocket, pulled out a magnifying glass and handed it to me. I then used it.

"Your frontal lobe is severely injured, that would explain why you only move in rubberhose, your Broca's Area seems fine. Same with the Sensory area and Parietal lobe. Your Temporal lobe looks pretty damaged..."

I went quiet...

"Whats wrong?" He said that with his decayed mouth barely moving.

It took me a while to try to get the words out.

"T-thats the lobe that contains memories. Benjamin...do you remember anything?"

His face fell, "Oh,". He then put his hand on his chin, "Well, I remember you, and George and harold. Ted (though I wish I didn't), my identity, how I died...". He then plopped down on the ground, his face returning to its cartoony appearance. Trying to recall, then his eyes lit up. "I...remember Edith..."

And boy what happened next was quite a site. His hand dropped to the side, a shade of gray crept up his face, hearts started floating around him, and I swear I could hear a romantic saxophone playing. I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing.

"What?" He turned his attention to me, I simply pointed upwards at the hearts floating around. His eyes went wide and he made a noise that can only be defined as a startled dog and immediately started shooing them away with his arms, his face now flashing dark grey and white in embarrassment.

"I-ITS NOT LIKE THAT!!" He yelped in a panicked tone, but I knew otherwise.

"Oh suuuuure~!" I said playfully, "Its not like you visit her in the lunchroom every day,or that you give her extra credit, or that you try to make her food everyday!"

With every example I said, he got grayer and grayer. So I kept going.

"Or that you hide a bunch of gifts around her office, or that you're always happy when she's around 24/7, or that you secretly write about how much you want to be with her forever in your journal!"

"HOW DID YOU GET MY JOURNAL?!?!" He started shrieking and becoming a charcoal grey, sweating, and flustered mess. And it was hilarious! And it lasted a good 5 minutes.

"Joking aside, you REALLY don't remember anything else, like your job?"

"I have a job?" He cocked his head and gave me a confused look.

"Nevermind." I decided it was nothing to worry about now, so I quickly dismissed that subject. Then I heard him sigh again.

"The main reason I came here is for your help, your help to kill crime."

I was confused, "why would you need my help, you have the ability to do it on your own."

He gave me a classic Captoon smile, "Because it's like I said in the cartoons" he stood up and did the pose, "it's more fun to bring justice with friends!". He then pulled me up off the chair and put his gloved hands on my shoulders.

"You, me, George and harold, and the others can stop evil in its tracks! Sure, I could do it alone. But what the heck is living if you don't do it with your chums! Buds! Home slices! Homies! Pals! Bros! ETC!!!"

Honestly, I was very moved. I usually dont get touched, but...I haven't felt like I had friends, at all (I always felt so alone). And the fact that my boss (who's also Captoon himself) considers me as a good friend is enough to make me emotional.

"So Melvin Sneedly!!! Are you gonna join this crazy but exciting ride of adventure and mystery with me?!"

"Y-YES!!!" My voice cracked a bit, but that didn't matter now.

"ALRIGHTY!!! THEN WE'LL START TOMORROW!!! BECAUSE IM TIRED!!"

Man, he said that Captoon only moved their body, but THAT moment had to disagree. I sas honestly thrilled to start working with a superhero...but then the moment took a different direction when he gave me a smug look.

"Now what did you mean by you watching that Captoon cartoon too much?"

"Now wait just a minute-"

He then laughed and patted me on the back "ight, see ya tomorrow."

I headed towards upstairs to my room "goodnight."

I didn't know what I was getting into, but whatever it was, for once I'm ready for anything!!!

End of fic

Whooooo! That took a while, but it was worth it. Now with the introductions out of the way, I can finally make some memes!

[captainillogical]

Devil’s Ballroom ch.2

A year after the events from the earth’s final attack, Little Homeworld is finally complete, and there’s a new jazz bar where gems and humans mingle and drink. - As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now.

Spinel/Reader

collab with wife @firstofficertightpants

The place actually happened to be like, right on the edge of Little Homeworld. Outside had full glass windows, tall, that reached the ceiling. Inside the lighting was dim, and a bit smokey. You figured it looked alright enough to head in, and gave the bouncer your ID. He nodded and you walked in. It smelt of cigars, and of cinnamon, and it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. A pretty woman in a low-cut red dress was playing the piano on the stage, and it was some contemporary jazz piece. The low murmur of people talking filled the air in between the swells of music, and the place actually seemed busy with people and even gems enjoying themselves. You liked the vibe. It was.. comfortable. At ease. You looked over at the bar, rather than any of the tables, and saw a spot near the end. Perfect. Right by the bathroom. You headed over and plopped down on the stool. There were three empty at the end, so you took the one in the middle, which had the best view of the stage from back here.

While waiting for the bartender to come back down this side, you took the chance to look  at the people around you. A couple familiar faces.. small town you know? And some new ones. New gems too. You can see Mr. Fryman sitting at a table with Kofi and Nanefua, and they look like they’re playing poker. You try not to snicker since Kofi looks absolutely blasted, and Mr. Fryman is cursing up a storm because Nanefua is clearly winning. You see her wink at Mr. Fryman. You suspect a rigged game.

Your phone chimes a couple times. You pull it out of your bag, and check to see who’s bothering you. Ah. The group chat.

    Alex: ughhh you guys my gmas killing me

    Alex: no seriously mexico fucking blows rn 

    Alex: i cant step outside without feeling like my balls are melting off my body

    Alex: and my brother won’t stop listening to the book of mormon soundtrack

    Alex: im going insane

Your friends are so melodramatic. You type out a couple of replies.

    Y/N: You should be used to mexican summers by now, you go every year.

    Y/N: And for the record, your brother is valid. Book of Mormon slaps.

    Alex: what the fuck youre supposed to be on my side u ass

    Alex: i thought our special thing was wicked. OUR SPECIAL THING, Y/N

    Y/N: I’m allowed to like multiple things. Including musicals. 

    Alex: never. fuck you. also what are you even doing rn come play minecraft with me

    Y/N: Yeah as much as I’d like to, I can’t.

“Y/N! So you finally came to see what this place is all about! What can I get ya?” you hear a familiar voice ask. Turning around to face the voice, you see Bismuth wearing her usual overalls and a rather nice looking bow tie. 

“Hey Bis, how’s it going? I like what you’ve done with the place. It’s nice. And uh, I’ll just take a hard cider for now.” You smile at her and set your phone down for a minute.

“Thank you! After we finished Little Homeworld, I had to find something else to focus on in my down time.” She explains while grabbing your drink from the fridge under her side of the bar, and opens it. “So tell me,” She sits the drink in front of you and leans on the counter. “What brings you out here today?”

You take a rather long sip from your drink before meeting the large gems eyes. On the stage, a tall, beardy man replaces the woman that just finished her piece. He immediately starts this jaunty, irish tune. He’s singing loudly, and it’s not bad. A couple of people are clapping to the tune.

“I just really needed to get out.” You replied, taking another sip from your drink. “I was kinda hoping I’d meet someone new, maybe get another friend to hang out with, since my friends wanted to ditch me this summer.” As you’re saying this, more people join the clapping. It’s getting a bit rowdy. “Or maybe at least get drunk enough to forget how lonely I feel.” You add, shrugging. 

“Well, I can supply the drinks, and at least a bit of company.” Bismuth winks, and turns to the patron 6 seats up waving her over. 

You check your phone again, and there’s more from Alex. AND Harper? She must still have phone service wherever she’s at.     Alex: what are u fuckin doin that so important that u cant play minecraft with ur best friend

    Harper: yeah, Y/N. the heck. Also alex, get lost, she’s MY best friend bitch

    Alex: u had ur chances but u left us so we’re a duo now. u can go

    Harper: excuse me!? I WILL end you.

    Y/N: Oh my god, chill. I’m just out right now, so I can’t okay? 

    Y/N: And nice of you to join us, Harper.

    Harper: fuck you I miss you okay. And I miss constant wifi :(

    Alex: OUT!? What do you mean OUT. its night. u play games with ME during this time

    Alex: for real what the fuck are you doing

    Harper: yeah, you don’t go out without us. Wtf are you doing?

    Y/N: I’m at a bar!!     Alex: WHAT

    Alex: dont tell me its the one place that just opened

    Alex: Y/N do NOT betray me you TOLD ME you were gonna go with me!!

    Y/N: I was. But I was also bored and you’re both gone, soooo. 

    Alex: wow

    Alex: i cant believe youve done this to me

    Harper: hmmm. ;)

    Harper: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm ;)

    Y/N: What.

    Harper: you tryin to find girls again? 

    Harper: like that one time you went to empire city just to peruse the mall?

    Alex: LMAOOOOO

    Y/N: No.

    Alex: LMAOOOO Y/N GOOD LUCK TRYING TO FIND A GF LOLL

    Y/N: I’m not trying to find a girlfriend you fucks. Christ.

    Y/N: Also Alex, you’re one to talk. You can’t KEEP a girlfriend.

    Alex: ur just mad i have a passionate and intimate relationship w/ my hand

    Y/N: And it will probably stay that way. 

    Y/N: Besides, so far, no one cute here. So it’s a bust.

    Harper: a bust. Lmfao u just outed yourself :)

    Y/N: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

You put your phone down before seeing whatever Alex attempts to reply back with. It sounds like the current boisterous song is coming to a close, and really, most of the people here are clapping along with this guy. It’s fun. And despite the playful ribbing from your shit-talking friends, you’re starting to have a nice time. You finish your drink, and nod over to Bismuth who catches your eye and nods back. You look over onto the stage, the man having cleared the piano, and see Lapis wiping down the piano and seat. Guess he spilled his drink while playing. Lapis, unlike Bismuth, actually dressed up a bit for the job. Her hair was pulled in a cute, small bun, and she was wearing what looks like a tailored tux with no jacket. The vest fit her quite well. She seemed.. happy. Good for her.

No one had taken up the stage again yet, but the place was still lively with chatter. You see someone out of the corner of your eye move towards the stage, but Bismuth comes over again so you tear your gaze away. 

“Another cider? Or do you want something else this time, Y/N? She asks, cleaning a glass with a rag, and moves on to the next one. 

“Ehh, yeah, give me another cider.” You say as you pull out your phone again. Bismuth sets down the drink in front of you.

    Harper: what a goddamn disaster. she got that from me i think

    Alex: no, youre both disasters separately

    Y/N: Fuck you guys. Give me a break.

You hear the piano start to play again, and someone pulling the mic forward. You look up to see pink hair.. And someone kind of familiar. She’s wearing black slacks, a white collared shirt, and suspenders. The shirt is partially open, and you see part of a pink gem showing through on her chest. It looks like she’s got mascara running down her face. 

And then.. she starts to sing. 

It’s lovely. It’s slow and a bit sad, but she seems to be enjoying herself. She’s definitely done this before. Quite a few of the people around quiet down some, so you can hear her pretty clearly. You drink some, and text your friends.

    Y/N: Guys, I lied. There’s a cute gem here who can sing.

    Alex: holy fuk

    Alex: what

    Y/N: She looks kind of familiar though? I can’t quite place it though.

    Harper: dude theres like near 100 gems now in little homeworld lol

    Harper: you’ve probs seen most in passing? :P

    Alex: are you serious Y/N? cant flirt with human women so u turn to aliens? lmfao

    Y/N: Ohhhhh my god. Die.

The gem on stage sings the chorus with gusto - man she’s really getting into this. You’re kind of taken a bit with her performance. It just pulls you. But also.. She really seems familiar now and it’s bothering you.

    Y/N: No I’m serious she seems really familiar and not in that In Passing kind of way.

    Harper: what does she look like?

    Alex: yeah a description would be nice 

    Harper: TAKE A PIC

    Alex: holy shit YES 

    Y/N: I can’t take a pic. She’s too far away, it’ll be blurry.

    Alex: literally just zoom in lord almighty

    Y/N: Okay. Hold on a sec.

You turn on your camera app, and face the stage. Looks like the gem is actually finishing up her song. Perfect, you’ll snap a pic once she stands up. She finishes, and most of the people are clapping for her. You zoom in, and it’s grainy, but decent enough to make out most of her. You snap the pic.

The flash was on.

A couple people turn to look at you, and you try turning away quickly, horrified, and see the gem looking in your direction before walking off into the crowd of people. You cannot imagine a worse scenario. 

    Y/N: FUCK FUCCCCKKKKKK.

    Y/N: (image sent)

    Y/N: I GOT YOUR FUCKING PIC BUT THE FLASH IS ON.

    Y/N: I’M PRETTY SURE SHE SAW THAT IT WAS ME THAT TOOK THE PIC.

With shaking hands, you take another sip of your drink and wait for a reply. Why is life like this.

    Harper: uh.

    Harper: ummm.

    Alex: wait

    Alex: one fucking second

    Y/N: WHY ARE NONE OF YOU CARING ABOUT MY PLIGHT. 

    Y/N: I’M TRYING NOT TO COMBUST ON THE SPOT HERE.

    Alex: shut up for one second

    Alex: harper isnt that

    Harper: uhh. yeah i think so.

    Y/N: WHAT!? WHO IS IT. WHY DOES THAT MATTER AT THIS POINT.

    Alex: lmao i cant believe i have to tell u this

    Alex: bitch do u remember that shit that happened last summer

    Alex: where half the town almost died from that gem shit

    Alex: that’s her     Alex: that’s the bitch who almost killed like, the entire planet

    Harper: you know that night your dad almost died??

As you’re typing back a reply, someone pulls the stool out next to you and takes a seat. You see a sliver of pink out of the corner of your eye as you try not to actually Look. Oh god. It’s her. God can’t help us now. 

[foxerice]

hey @hello-hipster-bullshit answering this regularly just wouldn’t work (sorry) anyway here’s some ideas from the gc!!

(person shooter game POV!!! I DONT WANT TO SHOOT THE FOXES)

(this was the chat the entire time just so u know) (not added or else this would be EVEN longer fsndfks)

(consider: a shaky zoom in on neils face and as the camera stills you get an up close shot of his expression as it goes cold) (you see him turn into nathaniel) (the style of his screen up until this point changes completely)

important!!! almost all of my headcanons came from ctc lmao

it’s a beautiful comic by velinxi on tumblr and it’s got those options and monologues written in like a game. it’s really so good

it’s got some great stuff i seriously recommend it :)))

they indeed have the tinted panels and everything 

(me (very eloquently): andrew gives him the key to the house and a notif comes up like new inventory: key to home?)

(if you want to know why crazy frog)

that was a lot and if u read the whole thing u are a trooper thank u chdjskfh

good luck w your video game assignment!! pls let us know how it goes even if it isnt tfc related!! i hope this helped at least like. a little bit lmao

(and i hope that if anyone else is planning on making a fucking tfc game that they contact me IMMEDIATELY so that i can give you all my money please and thank you)

[nureyevapologist]

Hiyaaa, if you want an aftg prom still, pls consider: Neil coming home to his and andrew's apartment with one of his newest recruits, and they boy is beaten and battered and neil's first instict was to take care of him because no one ever took care of neil, and andrew's reaction to this! ❤

thanks for this!! i might have veered from the specifics a little and this is like, 70% a character study of neil and 30% Andreil Content but i hope this is okay!!

Neil Josten felt that he owed a lot to the idea of coincidences.

Coincidence was Neil taking an uncalculated risk on the Millport Dingoes the very same year that Riko Moriyama finally snapped and took the bones in Kevin Day’s hand with him. Coincidence was falling into the same orbit as the man who had watched Neil’s father slice a man like lunchmeat and coincidence was him being so single-mindedly focused on Exy that he didn’t notice Neil’s terrible dye job or the white ring around his contact lenses. Coincidence was Andrew Minyard being the single-most observant person Neil has ever met, and coincidence was Neil being forced into his field of vision.

Coincidence was also Neil here and now, stopping off at a convenience store to grab a packet of cigarettes and accidentally witnessing his potential new recruit fall victim to a heavy, parental hand. 

It had only taken one video on a grainy, digital camera to show Neil that this kid had the raw potential to be one of the greatest backliners Palmetto State would ever see. Not fifteen minutes into the footage had Neil shoved aside his other folders and said to Wymack, one thumb jutted at the screen, we have to have him. Wymack had shrugged, assented with a nonchalant you’re the captain, captain and the very next week saw the two of them riding out to Georgia in Neil’s shiny new Lexus.

(“Having a Pro Athlete for a boyfriend sure does have its perks, huh kiddo?” had almost gotten Wymack elbowed bodily out of a moving vehicle.

“Above your paygrade” in a smooth, Andrew-esque tone had Coach laughing for the next ten minutes of the drive, safe and unmoving in the passenger seat.)

So they had approached the boy, Josh, after hanging back in the shadows to watch his high school team completely demolish their opponents. Wymack had loitered, no doubt trying to catch the name of the opposition’s only saving grace, a furious offensive dealer, and Neil had attempted to look cool and friendly as opposed to cold and menacing.

Naturally, the kid told Neil to fuck off four times before Neil backed him into a corner and told him to stop squandering his future by being unnecessarily abrasive. There was something in the complicated ice of this boy’s eyes that Neil connected with, an innate fear that ducked for cover behind aggression and hunched shoulders. One minute he stood every inch his five feet and ten inches and the next, body folded in on itself like he was willing it to disappear, he looked to stand no taller than Neil himself.

“I don’t know what your deal is,” Neil had said, arms tucked across his chest with all of his patchwork scars on show, “but I come from Palmetto State. I’m not here to judge, or pry, or fix. I don’t give a shit about your tragic backstory, I give a shit about the way you single-handedly held up your team’s defense line and I give a shit about putting you on an NCAA Class I Exy team. If you can get over yourself for five minutes, I suggest you sign first and cry later”

Every fibre in this kid’s body twitched like he wanted to run and Neil was hit, not for the first time, with jarring memory of himself in this position, shadows of a dark locker room curling in around his ankles, Wymack promising a future he’d never stayed still long enough to know he wanted. Sentiment was lost on Neil, most of the time. Still, if his family of Foxes had taught him anything, it was that sometimes you had to save people despite them not wanting to be saved. At this point, that may as well be the Palmetto State Motto. Neil had given the kid a few hours to think on it. Go home, talk to whoever you need to talk to, think about it. Just remember that we did not drive out here for a no.

Wymack had, of course, grumbled about having to spend a few hours sweating my damn ass off in the pleasure of your company but had mellowed somewhat when Neil had taken him for a suitably greasy dinner and showed him how to use his new phone to FaceTime Dan. He had allowed himself a few moments to enjoy the scene; Wymack, his face far too close to the screen, cursing Dan out for not texting him all week because saying I miss you is too overrated. Dan, a pixelated blur of joy and exuberance, showing her father every single corner of her new apartment and zooming in on one Matt Boyd, tangled helplessly in the middle of an Ikea side table.

With Wymack occupied, Neil had called Andrew, who answered on the very last ring because he was a certified asshole at the best of times. “Am I to assume you will be elsewhere when I get to the dorms?”

Andrew always makes him feel so known. “I managed to pick another stubborn one”

“Yes,” Andrew says, his voice a slow rumble over the familiar, quiet growl of the Maserati, “because you were so quick to acquiesce”

“I might have been running to grab a pen,” Neil replies. Andrew doesn’t laugh, but there’s a puff of air that Neil recognises as amusement, and his own mouth curls. “I think I sold him, though. A few hours and I might finally have secured a backliner”

“You should hope so,” and then there’s a beat of silence and the tell-tale flick of a lighter, “because I refuse to listen to you whine about it all weekend”

“So you admit that you do listen, when I talk?”

“Absolutely not” and when the silence stretches for a beat too long, Neil lifts the phone from his ear and realises Andrew has disconnected the call. Typical Andrew, but now Neil’s fingers twitch to hold a cigarette and he distinctly remembers leaving them behind at the behest of Wymack’s disapproving frown. Beneath his thighs the sticky vinyl booth creaks in protest when he shifts his weight and he waves a round-about hand at Wymack before ducking out of the diner, knowing that Wymack will see him cross the road toward the convenience store and put two and two together.

It says a lot for how far he has allowed himself to sink into safety and familiarity and family that he doesn’t immediately notice the shouting. He’s caught up in realising his ID is somewhere in the glove compartment of his car and wondering if his sharp scars and sharper expression will dissuade the cashier from asking questions. Behind the front counter is a door, all peeling red paint and a half-hearted Staff Only sign, and the slight space between the door and the frame is the source of the noise. Neil has no interest in interfering. Neil has no interest in even listening to some inane disagreement between cashier and colleague, and is considering returning to the diner empty handed when he hears a sharp crack, followed by a sharper, you are never leaving me, Joshua, not ever and the unmistakeable sound of hands pummelling flesh. Something in Neil twitches to intervene but he isn’t stupid enough to walk into a small room with flying fists so, in a bid of panic, he thumps the bell by the cash drawer once, twice, three times.

A man appears from the back, face flushed the red of barely-swallowed anger, eyes a little wild and searching. Neil smiles something icy and the man is stupid enough to misread it. “Sorry ‘bout that, had’ta catch up on some paperwork in the back. What can I do ya for?”

There’s a moment where everything slows down and Neil files away details like his life depends on it. Blood, smeared across the knuckles of one large, meaty hand. A row of scratches, three raised and red, sit tucked against his chunky neck in an indication that someone had raised a hand to defend themselves. A gold ring, thick and faded, shaped to spell out DAD. Neil doesn’t know what makes him say it, but he opens his mouth to ask for a packet of Camel Blue and what comes out is “someone round the back is casing the place, you might want to check that out”

A self-righteous rage takes over the man’s expression, clouding his eyes and the twist of his mouth and he claps Neil on the shoulder as he passes on his way to the door. Men like him, Neil thinks, are far too predictable for their own good. Something like a memory tugs at his subconscious; Neil at age sixteen, dropping a similar line, waiting for the all clear to stuff his pockets full of food and hightail it out of there before anyone noticed. That, Neil thinks, was a far more sensible plan than whatever this was. He rounds the corner of the cashier desk, nudges the back door open with the flat of his hand and comes face to face with the cowering, crumpled body of his newest recruit.

The kid, Josh, is folded in on himself in the far corner of this office, schoolbag tossed a few paces away, face hidden in his hands. At Neil’s entrance he starts so hard Neil almost feels it like a physical thing and then his face does something complicated when he realises it isn’t his father; relief warring with shame warring with anger warring with hope. One of his eyes is beginning to blacken and there’s blood pouring from a cut in his eyebrow – the ring, the fucking ring – and from one side of a crooked nose. His wrist doesn’t look particularly healthy and the way he holds himself tells Neil that this is not a one off occurrence.

“What do you want?” asks Josh, and Neil has no fucking idea. There are scars on his skin from the hands of his father and the hands of his mother and there were long years of his life where he was so accustomed to being beaten within an inch of his life that he never stopped to think that maybe, he didn’t deserve it and maybe, it wasn’t normal and maybe, someone should have helped him. How many teachers saw his black eyes, his split lips, his bruised arms, and how many of them said nothing. How many strangers saw his mother grip his wrist so tightly that it popped, pulling him into a car or a hotel or an alley, how many men saw his father pummel him like a punch bag?

Without thinking about it too much, Neil holds out a hand. “I want to help you. I want you to come with me”

Josh scoffs, gesturing loosely to his face. “This is nothing compared to what he’ll do if he comes in here and I’m gone”

Neil frowns. “Look at me,” and he points to his own scarred face with equally scarred hands, “look at my face and tell me you don’t think I’ve survived worse than your piece of shit father. Come with me, now, and don’t ever come back. Let us help you”

And there it is again, the flurry of anger-fear-shame-hope. “Why?”

“You’re a damn good backliner,” Neil tells him simply, “and if you let that pathetic excuse of a man beat you any harder you won’t be, anymore”

Hesitation twists his features into something ugly. Neil knows that he has minutes, maybe seconds until the man outside realises he’s been set up. If Neil has to pick saving himself over saving this kid, he’ll probably save himself, but Josh drags himself to his feet and looks Neil squarely in the face. “If I do this…he will come looking for me”

“And he will find an entire team of angry, troubled Exy players who know their way around a racquet” Neil replies. “I can protect you, but we have to leave. Right now”

His jaw goes tight but he nods, once. Neil nods back and together they make their way toward the front of the store, Neil pushing ahead, body strung-tight with focus. Outside he nudges Josh ahead of him, watches him adjust his gait around a lopsided limp, reels in his anger for another day.

They reach the Lexus across the street and a voice from behind calls “Joshua, get back here this goddamn instant.”

Three things happen.

Josh, in a bout of incredible bravery, flips his father the middle finger and falls over himself to clamber into the back seat of Neil’s car. The father, in a bout of incredible anger, starts for Neil like he means to snap his head from his body. Wymack, in a bout of incredible exhaustion at the familiarity of a situation such as this, appears at Neil’s right shoulder and swings a right hook up and under the man’s jaw.

It sends the man on his ass and in a split-second shared glance, Neil and Wymack make the mutual decision to get the fuck out of there.

Over the course of their drive back to Palmetto, Neil explains the situation with their new backliner, Wymack assures Josh that he will be resolutely protected, and Josh leaks blood all in the fancy seats of Neil’s car. When it doesn’t seem like it will stop, Neil shucks off his hoodie and throws it at the kid, telling him to hold it fast to the wound – after a brief, whispered argument, Neil pulls over and hands Wymack the keys and throws himself into the backseat to try and assess the damage. The ring hadn’t cut his eyebrow so much as it had gouged out a chunk of skin and his nose and lip are bust but mostly dried up. There’s a patch of blood at his side, seeping through his white t-shirt, and he waves that away as split stitches. From what, Neil doesn’t ask. He tries to staunch the bleeding but succeeds only in covering his own fingers in the blood, and in the end Wymack has to drive them straight to Abby’s house.

“Abby is our team nurse,” Neil explains, while Wymack tries to parallel park a Lexus under a blanket of colourful curses, “she patches up sprained ankles but she also patched up every wound visible on my skin, so you can trust her. I can stay, if you want, or I can leave you in her capable hands while I go back to campus and make preparations for you. There’s a spare bed in one of the freshman dorm rooms, or you can stay with Abby, or you can sleep on my sofa. Whatever you need”

Josh tucks his arms around himself, bravado stripped for the day. Neil assumes it will come back, that things will be difficult, that the kid’s attitude will fling itself all over the place, but for now he’s looking at Neil like Neil just saved his life and Neil thinks he just might have.

“You can go,” Josh says, “I have more shit under here I don’t wanna flash to anyone but a nurse, right now. Uh, I don’t…maybe I can stay on your sofa? For a bit. I don’t…”

“Hey,” Neil interrupts, “you don’t have to explain. Sofa it is. Though, I should tell you, my…my boyfriend is visiting right now, and he isn’t the friendliest person you’ll ever meet-”

“Understatement,” Wymack interrupts, “fucking understatement”

“-but,” and Neil flips off Wymack, “as long as you don’t give him any reason to distrust you, you’ll be safe”

He watches the kid for a minute, waiting for something. Protest, anger, homophobia, acceptance. Instead he shrugs, tired, overwhelmed, and climbs out of the car. Wymack follows him out, with a parting jab about Neil’s use of the term boyfriend, and then Neil is left to drive back to campus alone.

Maybe it should be embarrassing that the sight of the Maserati fills Neil with a fuzzy sort of warmth but this past half-a-year has begrudgingly taught him that distance makes the heart grow fonder, or whatever, and that he should allow himself to recognise that he misses Andrew and likes it when he comes home.

Or maybe Bee had taught him that, but he wasn’t about to admit it to Andrew.

The man in question is leaning up against the hood of his car, sleek and sharp in his black jeans and leather jacket, one booted-foot propped against the license plate, a cigarette between his lips. He’s gotten broader, since Neil last saw him, bulkier in the arms and shoulders and if Andrew is feeling up to it, Neil wants to relearn the shape of him with his fingers, maybe even his mouth.

Andrew doesn’t look up when the Lexus pulls in, feigning a nonchalance the set of his jaw doesn’t quite convey, but he does look up when Neil steps out of the car and his face transitions from smooth to thunder so fast it gives Neil whiplash.

“What happened?”

Neil blinks and Andrew’s hands are on him, fingers tilting his jaw this way and that, skimming down the sides of his body, eyes roaming for injury. Neil belatedly realises that he has Josh’s blood on his hands, a little on his shirt and he curves his own fingers around Andrew’s wrists, meets his eye with a calm stare. “It isn’t mine”

“That,” Andrew says, shoulders settling away from tension, “is not as reassuring as you seem to think it is”

Neil rolls his eyes. “Had some trouble with the new recruit. He’ll be staying with us”

Andrew arches a pale eyebrow, studying the blood on Neil’s fingers with a calculated disinterest. Neil huffs. “His father was beating the shit out of him”

“Where is he now?”

“Abby’s”

Andrew studies him for a long moment. Then, “I thought taking in strays was my thing”

“Well,” and Neil smooths his thumbs down over the fine bones of Andrew’s wrists, “someone had to pick up the slack. I couldn’t leave him there. So many people must have seen my mother backhand me and no one ever stepped in. How could I-”

“Stop it,” Andrew says, and Neil stops. “You cannot take responsibility for every single person in the world. It will never make your mother un-hit you”

Neil flinches, but he knows Andrew is right. Still, “I can help him. I can help this one. I want to”

“Alright”

“Yeah?”

Andrew gives him a look. “What, were you asking my permission? Are we adopting this child together?”

Neil laughs, a new thing, tipping his head back, teeth slipping past his lips. “You don’t think we’d make good parents?”

Andrew steps close enough that one of his boots rests between Neil’s two sneakers, their hands still clasped between them becoming squashed between their chests. “I would be a textbook parent. You would be a nightmare”

“I resent that,” Neil tells him “We’re never having kids”

“Obviously”

“Cats, maybe”

Andrew blinks. “Cats? You’ve thought about cats?”

Neil shrugs, once, but can’t fight the smile spilling back onto his face. “We’re getting cats. You said yourself that you like taking in strays”

“No,” Andrew says, firm. “I do not like it. The last one I took in continues to test my patience, so I will not have another”

“I’ve been testing your patience for four years and you’ve yet to get rid of me” Neil reminds him, “I think you’re getting soft”

“I think I am getting back in my car and leaving you here” Andrew replies, allowing it when Neil’s hands wiggle up between their bodies to frame his face.

“I think you’re going to help me make use of my empty dorm room before a freshman backliner moves in onto my sofa”

Andrew doesn’t respond to this either way but he allows it when Neil stretches to press a small kiss to the corner of his mouth and he allows it when Neil takes him by the fingers and leads him into Fox Tower, and he certainly allows it when Neil peels him out of his leather jacket before the door is even closed behind them.

(Later, when Josh announces his presence with a tentative knock at the door, Andrew answers it. Neil watches them size one another up and then Andrew reaches up into his armband for a knife. “Use this on anyone other than your father,” he says, “and I will use it to remove your hands”

If the expression on his face is anything to go by, Josh has no idea what he’s agreeing to in taking that knife, but he does it anyway. Neil has to hide his smile in the collar of his newly-acquired leather jacket.)

[writeouttaluck]

A story about Racing, Police ignorance, and Love Ft. This Corny Ass Title.

((Wrote this over two days. little editing, lots of writing.))

The camera in my hand could hardly hold steady and I had a grin ear to ear on my face like a village idiot. From the passenger seat, I could see the excitement on Jessie’s face as she brought the car to a slow. It was 1:00 AM and she had somehow gone undefeated, back to back, in a series of drag races on the street. Five races, five wins, and a whole lot of promised money would probably make anybody grin ear to ear.

I turned the camera to her and without missing a beat, she turned and stuck her tongue out at me.

“Tell me, Jessie, How does it feel to win three grand without lifting a finger for work?” I asked in my best fake news anchor voice.

“Feels fucking good!” She shouted, slapping the steering wheel in joy.

I was caught on a laugh and it almost felt like that teeth chattering cold feeling running up my spine. Pure electricity. We were both having the time of our lives and I felt closer than ever to her.

“Woah, what the hell?” She murmured under her breath.

I must have held the camera on her longer than i thought because when i turned to look out the windshield, the crowd was dispersing fast. All the people that were once watching were now either running to cars, their friends with cars, or just plain running. They scattered like ants before us. I zoomed my camera in and followed two people as they ran and hopped a fence into someones backyard.

Thats when we both noticed the bright red and blue flashing lights up ahead. Fuck.

A portly man jogged through the crowd and towards our car, reaching to his hip. He stopped in our headlights and yelled something. To our suprise, he drew his gun and aimed at us through the windshield.

“STOP RIGHT THERE. STOP RIGHT THERE” He shouted at us.

I looked to Jessie who seemed to be weighing her options. She stared at the cop infront of us and chewed her lip, a nervous tic i've noticed over the years. Illuminated by the flashing lights, she grew a small smile.

“Put on your seatbelt” she said quietly.

“Its already on” I replied.

“Good”

She shifted the car into reverse and stuck her hand out of the window, raising her middle finger.

“FUCK YOU, PIG!”

I didnt even have time to laugh at her tenacity before I was thrown forward in my seat. She had hit the gas so hard that we spun the tires going backwards. She turned around in her seat to look out the back window and I raised the camera out the windsheild. The cop knew that pointing his gun was useless since he had no real reason to use it. He wasnt about to kill us over a drag race.

He started talking into his radio and I laughed. I laughed hard. One hand on the steering wheel and one on the top of my seat, Jessie watched the road behind her as she drove backwards at high speeds. I watched her through my camcorder. Her eyes said determination but her lips said fun. I looked at her skinny form admirably. Her dyed hair fluttered in the wind and her silver lip piercing caught the dashboard light just right. Watching her in her element like this was stunning. She did it all with such a natural grace. Her motions sharp and accurate like a blade under flesh.

She dropped back into the drivers seat and wrapped her hand around the e-brake. With one hand grabbing the ‘oh shit’ handle above me and another on my camera, I braced myself.

She yanked the handle back and spun the steering wheel, throwing our momentum to the left. As the car spun, She grabbed the shifter and threw it into first. She dropped her foot into the gas pedal and the car caught traction. I sank back into my seat as we took off again. The engine roared in a fury, drowning out all noise around us. A light flashed on the dash and she hit the clutch, shifting again. The car lurched and went faster.

She was grinning wide as the blue lights became distant behind us. She shifted again and gained more speed. The houses, trees, sidewalks, all became a blur as we blasted through the neighborhood.

All of a sudden a police car with the blues on pulled out infront of us and stopped, blocking the intersection ahead. Jessie laid the gas into the floor and shifted again. I looked over at her like she was crazy. She smiled and concentrated on the car ahead. We must have been going at least 80 at this point.

The car was getting closer when all of a sudden i felt our momentum swing again. Jessie had pulled the e-brake again and hit the gas, sending us swinging around to face where we came. I could smell the burning rubber around us. The smell got worse as Jessie put the car in first again and slammed the gas, taking off in the opposite direction of the cop car.

I looked behind us to watch as the cop car turned to follow. Of course, considering how Jessie was driving, I wasnt sure If it would be able to keep up. The car lurched as Jessie shifted. The mustang revved hard and kept pace, sending us down the street.

Two more cop cars showed up in the distance. I could see their blues before i could see their headlights. They were headed straight for us, side by side. No way around them.

I watched Jessie analyze it all. She was quick like this. She knew the curb was too high to climb without popping any tires. She also knew that these dumb ass cops werent backing down.

One cop car behind us, two infront of us.

She took her chances with the one behind us.

She slammed on the brakes, coming to a skidding stop in the middle of the street. The cop behind us, who had been picking up too much speed, had no choice but to either crash into us or swerve around us.

The cop car swung itself around our vehical and came a stop in the center of the intersection. This also blocked off the two cop cars ahead. Jessie threw the car in reverse once more and hit the gas, sending us backwards. She looked behind her for an opening and as soon as she found herself in a spot with no cars parked on the side of the road, she swung the mustang around again and put it in first, launching off for the final time tonight.

We peeled out and we were gone.

…

The street lights strobed through the windshield as the mustang flew down the street. Tunes poured from the radio and filled the car with good vibes. Every so often the car would lurch as Jessie shifted, but otherwise it was smooth sailing. Cops were long gone, probably trying to pull the fingers out of their ass so they could keep harassing people like us.

“Fuck the po” Jessie stated, turning down the radio a bit.

“They really are fucking worthless around here” I replied in earnest.

“You think theyre still stuck in that intersection trying to figure out how to get around one another?”

I laughed a bit at that.

“Probably” I said.

It was quiet for a bit with no other sounds save for the engine and the semi quiet radio. I stole glances at her from the passenger seat and I could tell she was thinking kinda hard about something. It made me wonder what the next step in the night would be.

“Tonight has been fun” she started, “but it kinda sucks that im gonna have to have my car painted again”

“Why is that again?” I asked

“Well, I cant exactly drive around freely in this thing when the police are on the look out for a red Ford Mustang. Kinda beats the point of running from the police”

“I get that...Still, you made a good chunk of change tonight. I imagine it wont run you too much to paint it, will it?”

“Nah” She replied, “but I dont know… I liked the red. I thought it looked nice…”

“Well I think you look better when youre not behind bars…” I said softly, almost wishing she didnt hear me at all.

“Yeah, its not exactly something I wanna see in the mirror every morning”

We sat in silence for another moment before i could scrape up the words to keep the conversation going.

“What color?” I asked.

“Hmm?”

“What color are you gonna paint it this time?”

The corner of her mouth twisted in contemplation.

“Well it was black, then that color got too hot...I liked red but this just isnt gonna do anymore…”

“How about pink?”

“Ew, no” she grimaced, “Talk about a big red flag saying ‘Im a female and i think its important above all that everyone should know that””

“I think thats a bit of a stereotype”

“Yeah? Well stereotypes exist for a reason.”

“Ok, ok, what about something fancy?”

“Like…?”

“Well, ive seen a few cars do a sort of sunburst color. Im not sure how expensive it would be to get that, but i think it could look nice. Besides, you could still use the red on your car for either the top or bottom depending how you do it.”

“Hmm...ya know, thats not a bad idea….”

“I also think it would be cool if you made the center black. Like a zero sun or something”

“Im gonna have to have someone sketch something but… I think i dig the idea of it…”

Jessie pulled the car to a slow and turned into her driveway. Hitting the button she had strapped to the visor, the garage door slowly rose open. She drove the car inside and hit the button again, closing it behind her.

With that, she turned the car off and opened the door, getting out. I followed suit.

As I stood from the car, the first thing Jessie did was pop the hood and walk over to the mini fridge in her garage. She leaned over and opened the door, grabbing two beers from the rack before shutting it. She brought one over and put it in my hands before cracking her own and taking a sip.

She sighed deep and walked over to her tool box, grabbing her socket wrench and bits, before standing over the engine bay.

“Timing is always a bit off with this thing…” she muttered as she went under the hood.

I cracked the top of my own beer before sitting down in the office chair she had lying around. I took a hearty drink from the bottle as I was quite parched. Moving fast and dodging cops really worked up a thirst, even though i was only filming it.

I watched Jessie tinker with the motor again. I don't think she will ever be satisfied with it even though it does the job just fine. Thats one part of her that really gets me. She loves her car a lot, Almost too much. She loves it to the point where I sometimes wonder if she really can really love another person beyond a one night stand. I can almost understand such a fondness for something inanimate, I mean, I love my camera to death and I use it almost as much as Jessie drives her car, but it almost makes me feel... Jealous. And even thinking that makes me cringe a bit. The idea that I would be jealous over the way someone treats an inaminate object over me is just silly. But god damn it if sometimes i dont get frustrated.

Ive had a crush on Jessie for nearly 2 years. She means the world to me and im not sure if she even knows that. I spend most of my free time with her. Ive loaned her cash many times either to put into her car or on tools. I mean she always pays me back and thats fine, but i just wish that I could say the thing that I wanna say without coming off as some weirdo. I dont even think she sees me in that way and it hurts.

It hurts really fucking bad.

I take another long drink from the bottle until its empty. I place the empty bottle on her work bench and grab another from the fridge, quickly popping the cap off.

Its not even her fault. Its not her fault at all. Its my fault for always being such a chickenshit anytime the moment arises. She even teases me about getting a girlfriend so she can steal her. (She is bi, but i dont think she would actually do that to me. Jessie is a good friend and if anything, she would probably act as my wingman. Shes cool like that.) It really blows that she pretty much sees me as a brother...or a lamp.

I dont wanna be a fucking lamp.

I watch as she cranks away at some form of machinery under the hood. Youd think after all this time spent around her, talking about cars and racing, that i would learn a few things. And i cant tell you that youd be wrong. I. Am. A. Dumbass. When it comes to cars.

Ask me about film or editing or what-have-you and i can pull answers out of my ass all day long. But anything beyond a standard oil change? No idea.

I watched as she went to take a sip from her own beer only to find it empty.

“Hey nerd boy, wanna grab me another beer?”

And like the whipped dog i am, I got right up and grabbed her another bottle.

I set it down on the car just a tad harder then i intended and winced when she took notice. It did not damage the car or anything, but there was a notable change in mood.

Fuck.

She set a hand on my shoulder before i could go sit back in my pity corner.

“Is something wrong, dude?” The way she looked at me pierced me. I was stuck. And if i didnt say something soon i was gonna look like a weirdo.

I sorta shook my shoulder, the one her hand was on, a bit to see if she would remove it. She didnt.

“Its nothing, really. Im just thinking about something shitty that youtube did, thats all.” I spoke quietly before looking away.

Her hand stayed on my shoulder, firmy clamped. Not enough to feel pain, but enough to know she was squeezing it in consolement.

My lonely ass practically shivered at the touch. Ive been starved of human contact for far too long.

“Yeah, im not buying that. Look at me” she said firmly.

When i didnt move my head from the side, she set the tool in her hand down on the car and grabbed my jawline, moving my head to face her.

She stared at me in something mixed with concern and...i guess something like motherly instinct?

“Why dont you tell me whats really going on? I know you too well to know that something small would bug you this much.”

I decided that I could probably get away with a half lie. Probably.

“I uh… Ive been having trouble with this girl…” I started sounding more unsure than id hoped. Motherfucker…

Her eyes lit up for a second. Shock? Suprise? Yeah I wouldnt believe me either.

“You actually found a girlfriend?” She asked quickly, somewhere between suprise and excitement.

“Well, I uh...No… Its more like I have a...crush…on this girl.” I spoke slowly trying to keep my tone even.

She then let go of me and speed walked over to grab both of the wheelie chairs and set them so they faced each other. All in one motion, she made sure we both had bottles in our hands and we were sitting down facing each other.

“So…” She started, “Tell me about this girl…”

I sat and thought about the most vauge things I could bring up so that I could wiggle out of this.

“Well, uh, shes got shorter hair. Not quite short, but about shoulder length. She has these beautiful eyes. Amazing, stunning, eyes…. Shes uh, a bit on the shorter side but i think thats adorable, really…”

“She sounds cute!” Jessie started, bouncing her legs in place excitedly. “Whats she like?”

“What do you mean?”

I knew what she mean.

“Ya know… like her personality or whatever…”

“Oh, yeah” i said rubbing the back of my neck nervously, “She uh...Shes real tom boyish, likes to play rough and have fun on the wild side of things...She also isnt afraid of anyone or anything and could probably take down people twice her size anyday of the week...She also has a really cool music taste...Shes one in a million, really”

I saw something flash real quick in her eyes before switching back. Oh fuck. She knows…

“Well she sounds like someone special” She said taking a sip of beer, “Have you thought of how youre gonna tell her?”

My heart started pounding. It was pounding harder than it was when the police were on our ass less than an hour ago.

“See now, thats the frustrating part. Im always trying to figure out how im gonna tell her...but im afraid she will be put off by me…”

“And whys that?” Jessie asked me.

“Because...uh...because…” I stammered trying to think of something to say.

Her eyes shined brightly and bored into my own. She concentrated on me like I was the only thing visible to man. I could feel my palms start to sweat.

“Because….me and her...got really close over the past two years...and i dont think she shares the same feelings...thats why its frustrating.”

Jessie leaned back in her office chair and drank down the rest of her beer before continuing.

“I see…” she started, “And would this girl happen to own a red ford mustang that she enjoys racing with and using to run from the police when the occasion arises?”

I looked down at my feet and nodded my head yes.

I heard the glass of her bottle clinking against the concrete floor before she rolled her chair closer to mine. I felt her hand around my jaw line again. This time it was more of a caress than a grab. She slowly lifted my chin up to meet her and my first expectation was to get laughed at for my burning red cheeks.

Once we were both staring at each other, I saw her move in closer to my face.

Her eyes drifted shut and before i knew it, her lips were against mine. It was a light kiss with hardly any movement. Timid and testing, like a deer investigating something new in the wild. I felt her head tilt more to the side and i did the same in the opposite direction.

I….I didnt really know how to feel. I was overwhelmed, trying too hard to read the situation at hand. My brain was going so fast i felt like my head was gonna explode.

And before i realized how amazing this moment truly was, she broke away from the kiss.

To my suprise, her breath was actually a bit laboured. And she stared at me with a big smile on her face.

“Ive been waiting....two long years for that, nerd boy.” she whispered so softly.

This time, I grabbed her chair and pulled her too me as I met her with my lips again. Our faces came together and this time it was all a lot messier. She moved her lips against mine, roughly, hungrilly even. I tried to mirror what she did but to be honest, my experience with kissing was minimal. Then I felt something poke between my lips and at my teeth.

I opened my mouth a bit more to accept her tongue. I could feel her reach behind my head and grab on, shoving us closer together. I ran my hands up her back, watching not to cross any boundies.

It was like a dance, really. She lead and i followed. And what a dance it was.

We broke apart for air and stared at each other. My hands had rested at her hips and she had a hand on each shoulder. We were both just about hanging off the edge of our chairs.

Out of breath she spoke quietly.

“Backseat?”

I nodded frantically, like my life depended on it.

“Backseat”

[cannibalisticshadows]

Nightcall (2/2)

[ao3 Link] .    [Part One]

Megamind drops out of the media. Though the media doesn’t drop him.

The spike in his frequent fights with Metro Man has done a complete 360, much to the relief of the locals and to the disappointment of tourists. The news and media alike have leaped onto his sudden change like scavengers to fresh offal. Talk of his recent rendezvous, or lack thereof, are on everyone’s mind.

“He’s a maniac,” some talk-show host said into the speaker, hunched over a desk looking quite aggressive. The screen of the television baths the blue alien in a dull electronic glow illuminated his reflective eyes. He frowns at the person but having no good point to disagree. He’s just offended someone would be so bold to jump into the obvious.

“He’s a maniac, and Metro Man has been taking his sweet-ass time in trying to bring this alien-fuck down. Sure, sure, all-righteous and no-killing and what not. I’m sorry but he’s just pious.” Not just ballsy, but controversial. “My only guess as to why Megamind has abruptly vanished like a phantom is because our city’s hero finally grew a pair and kicked his skinny blue ass into the next life. And by God will none of us miss him. Look at what a shit-show he’s turned this city into—“

Megamind turns the TV off by throwing the remote so hard that it shatters the screen.

Sighing, he crawls out of his little nest of blankets and decides it’s time. He’s been procrastinating enough; he’s done nothing for the past two weeks and it’s getting to his head.

His plan to tell Roxanne started out sounding like the only resort to fixing him and his dumb extraterrestrial make-up, but he’s been pushing it off since he got home the last time he broke out of prison. Who knew he could really raise some hell by simply doing nothing.

Roxanne has made few appearances on television since her last kidnapping. Sadly enough, due to his absence, she had little to do (at least, to the public eye). She was the main reporter, focusing on Metro City’s star inhabitancies. Metro Man had nothing much to do besides helping little old ladies or getting cats from trees—not worthy of making an emergency announcement on the news.

And since he hasn’t seen her, he’s going into such a stump he’s made several near attempts to just show up at her place with no spray. How would she respond?

Well, he’d find out tonight.

He filled the invisible car up with his home-made energy source, making sure it wouldn’t run on empty. Tonight he was going out, far enough to reach the boonies.

And he wouldn’t be alone.

Megamind, unsure of how she’d react but knowing this would be practically life or death for him, grabbed a few essentials. The de-gun. Knock-out spray. Rope. You know. The usual. This had to go as smooth as possible for him to get serious with her, to assure her he’d never bother her again as long as he got this off his chest so he could wallow in misery with a peace of mind.

So, making sure she’s home with the affirmation from one of his spy-bots, Megamind packs up his things in the car and zooms out of the Lair before Minion can so much as ask “Where are you going, Sir?”

When he gets to her building, he uses a brainbot to fly him up to her balcony. She never locks it (Oh, Roxanne, I do question your sanity sometimes), so when he pushes the glass doors open, he enters a relatively quiet domain.

The lights over her tiny kitchen are on, illuminating her one-person apartment. Sniffing, and catching the remnants of her perfume, he follows it until—

“Mega—“ Before he gives her time to even finish saying his self-given name, he whips around and gives her a reasonably large dose of spray. She gasps, eyes roll up, and her body drops in a dead weight. Flinging out an arm he catches her, unable to keep his hungry eyes from the expanse of her pale, bare neck. Megamind splays his fingers across her bare, marveling at seeing her for the first time in weeks. It’s been too long.

Tonight she’s wearing civvies. A pair of dark wash skinny jeans and a white peasant blouse with little red and blue flowers along the neck and sleeves. She’s missed a barber appointment, he thinks, as her hair is exactly two centimeters longer than usual. Her hair’s also a bit damp, curling ever so slightly at the very ends. She not wearing makeup, either, letting him see all of her little brown freckles dusting her cheeks, like little stars in a milky white setting. He licks his lips.

Megamind ties her wrists and covers her mouth with a cheap duck tape. He’s never taped her mouth shut before, but for once he doesn’t want her screaming or complaining. And despite every Hollywood movie where the bad guy tapes the victim’s mouth shut, it’s very possible to remove it without the use of hands.

He carries her out bridal style, whistling for the brainbot to bring him back to the car. Once on the ground, he tucks her into the passenger seat and pulls the belt on, all before getting in himself.

And then he drives. He drives for a long time, content for the moment to sit in silence beside the soft rumble of the car’s engine.

Swerving through Metro City’s night traffic, the city lights gleaming in this never sleeping place, he keeps his head low as he goes, so stressed he finds himself clutching the wheel so hard it threatens to snap. The leather of his gloves scrunches.

They (he; she’s still knocked out) drive out of the midnight city into the rolling countryside, past the lake and past the forests. Lush green hillsides and vast farm lands. He can hear the road scratch under the car tires as asphalt turns into gravel and dirt.

After about forty minutes of driving, he can tell Roxanne is beginning to stir. Quickly, he pulls up beside a huge oak tree in the middle of no where, and void of another living soul for miles.

Well. There is a cow outside but it’s like, ten feet away minding its own business.

As the car comes to a stop, he turns the key and all is instantly quiet.

With a soft grunt, Roxanne squirms in her seat and consciousness slowly comes to. He doesn’t watch her, choosing to star at his bony knees and twiddle his thumbs. All he can hear is her movements, and his own rapidly beating heart.

“M…Mmm?” Her eyes slowly open, blinking in the dim atmosphere. Her eyes then open wider, and she looks around for the usual sights of a kidnapping. Seeing as they’re only in the car, and her mouth is taped, she abruptly begins to struggle.

“Wait!” He says frantically, trying to calm her like one would do for a wild horse. “It’s okay! This isn’t a kidnapping! Well, technically it is but it’s just us—“

“MMM!?” She starts to work her mouth through the tape in earnest, tongue visibly trying to lick at the stickiness.

“Please, wait! This is—I just want to tell you something. Something… important. I promise on my ancestors that you have full permission and more to beat me outside but… please. Just listen to me. Please, Miss Ritchi.”

Her struggling stops, and she turns to him with a suspicious glare. He bows his head, flushing in shame. She hates me.

Though she’s trapped him under an intense stare, snaring him more than he had with her, Roxanne goes still as if awaiting for whatever stupid thing he’s got to say to her.

“I… want to apologize, for my behavior two weeks ago. It was unforgivable.”

“Mm.”

“But—I… I…”

She glares harder. Ashamed of himself, he turns his stare to the dashboard.

“I love you.”

He doesn’t look up to catch her reaction, but she doesn’t respond verbally.

“I love you, I love you, I love you.” He bangs his forehead against the steering wheel with each confession, feeling all the pint up emotions in him pouring out like water from a broken dam. It burns his insides with glorious relief and bittersweet shame all at once. Yet it keeps flowing. “And I’m so, so sorry. It’s—not my choice, Miss Ritchi. I can’t help it. My b-body…Ah—s—“ he stutters, so anxious it’s close to making him piss himself. He can feel it claw at this throat, threatening tears. “My species… we d-don’t have crooches, like a human. We… fall in love. Hard. And once. Only once. Once and only with one person. And that’s it. We mate for life, like doves. Or beavers. Wolves. I-It doesn’t matter. But once the relationship is formed that’s it. Cheating or finding a second love if the other leaves or dies is purely an earthly concept. My own p-parents, they—they only had eyes for each other. Sex or romance wasn’t even a concept I understood before I met y—…. I didn’t chose you, Miss Ritchi. I didn’t want this to happen. You don’t deserve this. I’ve already turned your life into a living hell, and for that I cannot apologize enough, even onto my grave. My transgressions are unforgivable. Yet, even being here on Earth I cannot…. There is no place for me. My planet, it’s… I’m all that’s left. And Minion. I didn’t think I could possibly imprint on anyone, much less a human, in this way. Yet… I am so sorry. It’s all my fault. I should have known…”

She’s fidgeting ever so softly beside him, he hears the crinkle of the tape.

He doesn’t realize he’s crying until he takes in a staggering breath, wet tears rolling down his sharp face and trickling on his lips. Salty like the sea.

He can’t bring himself to speak again in fear of weeping like a damn baby, but he feels as vulnerable as one in the moment. Weak. Childish. Pathetic.

The car falls into a silence, with his shaky breaths and a light breeze rolling against the windows. Other than that, it’s as quiet as a void. He glances at her from the corner of his eye, and sees her staring outside at the cow as if it had done something personal to disrespect her.

They sit in silence for a long time.

“I’m done,” he suddenly says.

He hears her move around again.

“I’m… I’m done. With this business,” he gestures to himself in general, to the car, to his gun. “I mean, there are things you don’t know about. Things I’ve done behind cameras. In the underworld. I’ve committed enough sins to last multiple lifetimes over. There’s blood on my hands. Miss Ritchi. Like you wouldn’t believe. And… I’m going to give it up. I can’t keep doing this…

“This such a archaic concept for me. Aah, uh, did you know… Of course you wouldn’t… The males, sometimes even the females, of my kind have to… catch the other sometimes. To express that they feel the same way. Avoids miscommunication or misplaced feelings. My own father… had to sneak into my mother’s household as teenagers to propose to her. It’s—I didn’t even realize it until recently I was courting you! Unconsciously! I’m—God I’m so sorry, Miss Ritchi. I just need to go away. “

She lets out a muffled sound again.

“I’m moving from this place,” he looks around at the vast farmland, the dot of the city in the distance, reflected by his rear-view mirror. “Romania sounds nice. I do a lot of business over there. Lots of forests and hillsides where there’s no one for miles. I can’t bother you or anyone out th—”

Roxanne suddenly spits.

Looking over to her in surprise, he sees she has vanquished the duck tape and has rolled it up in her mouth to spit it onto the dashboard. Turning on one hip, she faces him with such a glower it chills him to the very bone.

“Don’t. You. Dare,” she hisses.

He shrinks in his seat.

“Don’t you dare drop this on me and say you’re just gonna leave!” She yells, pulling against her taped wrists. He opens his mouth to let out a string of never ending apologies, but—she’s starting to cry, he sees, much to his absolute horror. Has he truly upset her this bad? He really was a monster.

“How—you stupid, stupid man,” she cries out, and suddenly—he sees her raise her arms, still taped by the wrist, and he honestly thinks he’s about to be hit when—

She loops her arms around his big blue head and latches onto his neck, yanking him closer and making him clumsily fall onto the stick shift as—

Her mouth is on his. So hard do their mouths come together that their teeth clack, faces clashing together he barely has time to process what’s happening. Gasping, hands wild and unsure in the air as she seemingly tries to suck his soul out, but—he knows what’s happening, mildly, but a bigger part of him is convinced he’s dreaming or hit his head.

The feeling of her lips touching his, though, is electrifying. Every nerve in his body begins to sing and scream all at once, overwhelming him with a sensation override. She moans and presses closer, both of them awkward and clumsy as they clutch at the other from opposite seats. Clutched… he feels his hand involuntarily grab her waist, holding his close but terrified he’s mixing the signals. It feels so so so good, though, and—

She pulls away before he can even realize he was responding back, albeit unsurely. Arms locked around his neck, he mentally curses himself for tying her up. But. It felt like the thing to do at the time.

“You listen to me you son of a bitch,” she viciously spats. “You come to my place, ten’o’freakin’clock at night, and tell me you love me only then to say you’re leaving? What the actual hell!?”

He attempts to pull back, hide in his shell, run away from her furious reprimand, but his neck is still trapped by her arms. Shit. Really a bad decision to tie her up. The alien’s prepared to say something, anything, to show how much of a lowly creature he is in her light, but all that comes out of his throat are choked warbles and whimpers. “I—“

She sniffles.

He meets her eyes in surprise to see two glassy blue orbs meeting his. Frantically, he try to console the weepy female by nervously patting her back. “Ah—M-Miss Ritchi—“

“You were such an A-hole,” she says, sobbing. “Megamind, for once you were actually cruel. It scared me.”

“Oh, oh my dear—No, no, my sweet, no! I wasn’t—“ he swallows. “I wasn’t trying to be cruel. I was just frustrated. With myself. With my instincts. I—if I behaved any less I would have made a fool of myself.”

“Well, you already did that by yelling at me, you cabbage.”

“I-I’m sorry.”

“You made me feel like a whore the last kidnapping.”

He remembers that dress she wore. Wine red, rimmed in black. His... comment to it. Megamind bows his head and clenches his whole body. “I am sorry.”

“And you made me worry about you. I haven’t seen you in weeks.”

Confused, he looks up at her. Roxanne then pulls at her arms and lets him go from between them. Gesturing with her wrists, he catches her drift and pulls out his trusted butterfly knife and whips it out, glad to have something to do with a tool he’s familiar with. Nothing else felt familiar; alien and strange.

As the plastic finally rips away, her skin safe from his sharp little friend, she wraps her hands around his neck and yanks him to her again. Eyes wide, he numbly feels her kiss him a few quick, consecutive times before—

She slaps him in the chest.

He’s nearly got a concussion from how bad the whiplash is.

“Is it true?” Roxanne demands. He’s unable to speak. “Is it true? Do you love m—“

“Yes. Yes, I love you. A million times over.”

This little woman shakes her head, eyes glistening with something he can’t begin to understand. He feels like he’s drowning, with a weight tied to his feet to prevent him to swimming to the surface. He can't breath. She then grabs onto his shoulders. Shaking her head again, she says, “Then don’t go to Romania. Don’t leave Metro City. This place is our-your home.”

“Miss Ritchi, I can’t… stay around you anymore,” his voice breaks. “I can’t without—“

Her lips are on his again.

Shocked, but rapidly trying to learn this new skill she’s apparently trying to teach him, he responds as best he can. Periwinkle blue to unpainted pink, their lips press against each other, seining the warmth and the wet of the other’s mouth. He once saw this activity between lovers an unsanitary and strange thing, but now he understands its meaning. His lips are quite sensitive, and this kissing sets his body to flame, scrambling towards something he can’t seem to catch.

When she pulls away, he follows her, not wanting this connection to end. A tiny bead of saliva snaps between them as their lips depart.

“For such a genius, you can be unbelievably dense.” She cups his face. “I love you Megamind."

What.

"God, I love you. And your behavior, this month—I thought you’d finally lost it. Or just got tired of me.”

His first instinct is to respond yes, yes he has lost it, completely and utterly, but—

“You—you what—“

Roxanne shakes her head again, this time smiling so wide that it nearly reaches her ears, all pearly whites on display for him. She lets him go, finally, letting him think straight. Which is bad because his brain runs in about five hundred directions. Blinking rapidly to disperse the tears in her wet lashes, she continues with, “I’m glad you told me this. Because—I was considering on moving as well.”

He jolts in his seat.

“I sometimes get job offers in other places. This time… I had an offer in Liverpool.”

“Leeverpul!? What’s can you find in Leeverpul?”

“I like the British accent. And it’s far, far away from here.”

Hapless, he stares at his knees.

“Hey,” she pulls him out of his stupor. “Look at me. That’s better. Now. That stuff you said about… imprinting on me? Is that true, too?”

“All of it,” he breaths.

Roxanne nods her head and leans back against the leather seats. “Then listen to me. I love you with all of my heart. I have for a long time, Megamind. So it hurt me, so, so much with how much of a dick you were suddenly turning into. You may as well have stabbed me in the heart.” He winces. “And then you just up and vanished. Gone. Everyone is talking about you!”

He can’t believe what she’s saying. It’s nothing like he ever imagined happening in any probable outcome of this. She… actually… returned his feelings? What??? What witchcraft is this!? He really must’ve bumped his head hard!

“I... know. I see the news. I see my lack of an appearance in the public eye has given you less work… Ah, are you sleeping better?”

She looks at him in confusion.

“You were always falling asleep.”

Roxanne lets out a loud sigh. “I know… I know…”

“Why.” It isn’t a question.

“I always thought you were just a bit ol’sweetheart that grew up on the wrong side of the law. I fall in love with you a little harder every time you goof around like that. I hate that you’re always destroying something or trying to start a fight, but it was a little endearing.” She lets out another loud exhale. “And then you started acting like I was shit under your shoe.”

“N—!“

She raises a hand, and he immediately goes silent.

"So I started drinking. Tried to drink the pain away. But that doesn't work," her voice breaks a bit.

He wants to bang his head against the wall.

“And I hate that you dragged me out here,” she motions toward the countryside. “You don’t have to ship yourself off to God knows where, but stopping the kidnapping would be nice. Even if it’s apart of your… culture.”

“Whatever-Whatever you desire," he swears reverently.

“What I desire,” she says, placing a hand on his knee, “is for you to take me home.”

He nods, expecting that answer.

“And I want you to come up with me. We’re gonna have a talk.”

“O-kay...?”

Suddenly she leans over again and presses his lips to his cheek. With his breath hitching, because its still a lovely, foreign feel to him, she adds, “And then I’m going to show you how much I love you, too.”

“W—“

“I know you, Megamind. I can see it in your face. Now. Take us home, sweetheart.” She kisses his lips again.

This time he knows what to do, and copies her actions better than before. It feels like fireworks.

He’s glad he told her.

[maneaterwithtail]

One of my first submissions

however..Korrasami ship war stuff.

Not a fan myself but….I want to encourage more submissions and at the least this is showing lots of effort and points of reference to wide fandom discussion and their feelings.

—–

korrasami was aforced ship there was no actual build up for it korrasami shippers like to use the car scene or blush ( when korra blushes at compliments she blushed at bolins compliment ) and there was actual evidence and chemistry for makorra in contrast to korrasami. in b3 and b4 there was actual chemistry  and we got to see mako talk about korra the person while asami talked about korra the avatar. or how we actually got  the camera zoom in and music swell at mako and korras hugh to highlight importance kXa shippers bring up asami bbeing with korra at b3 ending claiming that we would see it if asami was a man but in reality no we wouldnt. (not to mention while she smiled with her dad , the air babies and bolin suggestion of pen pals she didnt smile at them) heck the break up scene in b2 finale even hinted at them still having feelings and getting back together with the I will always love you line. not to mention that both korra and mako over came the flaws which led to their breakup  which wasnt due to a lack of compatabiltiy but due to certain flaws like  korra expecting an echo chamber from mako basically mako being so afraid of conflict that he disappoints everyone his tendency to avoid conflict  and I am sickened by the demonization of mako claiming that it was just that he ends single for he made a couple mistakes in the relationship department in book 1 and they claim he was a creators pet or gary stu. which is bs makorra was handled well (people like to claim it was only a couple wekks when it was months there was a noticeable change of seasons

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/146055648351

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/122071981927/i-take-comfort-in-the-fact-that-although-korra

http://zoetic-aerography.tumblr.com/post/138417305243/korra-was-undecided-about-what-to-do-about-mako

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/150196235205/you-love-battle-couples-that-means-you-love

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/150197542245/reyshepkorra-replied-to-your-post-you-love

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/151521486788/lucisfenrir-noctis-is-very-weird-when-it-comes-to#notes

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/124974796098/structural-shortcomings-of-the-shipping-variety

http://makobend.tumblr.com/post/116620716280/i-hate-mako-because-he-does-remind-me-of-an-ex

http://redheadjcb.tumblr.com/post/134574174309/reasons-why-asami-isnt-my-favorite-character-and

“

TV creators’ job isn’t to just do whatever their audience wants, though.

What the fans want isn’t always what’s best for the show. Remember this train wreck:

Korrasami was an extremely popular pairing during the show’s first season. They took advantage of this and made it canon with no real build up and just pasted it onto the very end of the show.

“

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/105947039308/bryankonietzko-korrasami-is-canon-you-can

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/119960030921/robert-submitted-korrasami-devolpment-imeline#notes

http://ikkinthekitsune.tumblr.com/post/119960030921/robert-submitted-korrasami-devolpment-imeline#notes

https://magiesheartlove.tumblr.com/post/113897307625/why-makorra-and-not-korrasami?is_related_post=1#notes

http://archer-bro.tumblr.com/post/160877420151/reblogingblog-archer-bro

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMLk77yoyvg

“. All the “subtext” they said they saw clearly existed only in their delusions, as proven by the aforementioned facts. And like Appabend said, the subtext was so subtle it might have well not just existed. The “evidence” all just seemed like what platonic friends would have done. There was not even a single concrete moment that you could find that crossed over the romantic line and tied all the other moments together, an aspect all well-written subtle romances have. The circumstances show that the fans simply wanted to ship them because they were two girls, and it didn’t have anything to do with their characters. I dislike the idea of pandering/giving the satisfaction and vindication to these fans who ship for such superficial/shallow reasons. They had no basis for their reasoning other than “but muh lesbian pairing” and just got lucky in the end because MD and BK were the type of people who liked to pander to their audience and virtue-signal about how progressive they were, emphasized by how much they milked it afterwards in that tumblr post and everything else they’ve done about it since. In the end, my friend changed her mind and completely disowned the ship and fandom because she realized that it was all just pandering (which surprised me because I didn’t ask her to do that). I also hate how pretentious and over-the-top it was at the end with all of the background visuals and making it the very last thing you remember of the series even though it was focused on mostly other things. PS Sorry for the long comment, I type a lot:)    …. In this case, the slash shippers would be using a straw man because we don’t have a problem with the same-sex relationship itself. It was how it was executed in terms of writing quality and context within the story. They’re not asking for same treatment, they’re asking for special treatment and we know that because the creators admitted their intent on doing it because it was a same-sex relationship to please their fans, are clearly glorifying it, shoving it into our faces, and virtue-signaling about how progressive they are. It’s 100% being politicized. They wouldn’t do any of those things if it was just a straight relationship. Heck, Korra ended up with Mako after S1 and you can see the clear difference between that and KA on how that was treated by creators and fans alike. In terms of hints, I stated that the hints themselves were too subtle to prove they were intentional, and one of the ways people can tell if it’s going romance is that there is usually at least be a early single moment in which it clearly goes over the romantic line to tie it all together, like smiling and blushing while looking away or getting embarrassed by being pointed out how close you are to that person, etc. And if they were bi, they would have shown it in general, not just with each other. “ http://wuuthradical.tumblr.com/post/163111623958/autistic-2-d-wuuthradical-buffallura

https://g00doldboy.tumblr.com/post/163111027317/is-this-it

http://wuuthradical.tumblr.com/post/162964426138/what-really-gets-me-about-korrasami-is-how-it

http://celticpyro.tumblr.com/post/164869535184/firelordderpy-aggravatedvincevaughn

http://snowembrace.tumblr.com/post/166247501865/so-anon-meant-korrasami-option-i-remember-the

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/148337966795/the-authors-are-dead-drikei-i-just-fucking-hate

I am personally annoyed at how bryke try to act like korra and asami were friends since b1 when

their friendship started at b3. which is something that they brought up in b3 commentary ( and check out other fantastic-nonsense posts because they made alot ofposts criticizing korrasami and support of makorra

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/tagged/makorra

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/post/169571636785/about-mako-going-with-korra-to-finish-her-recovery

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/tagged/anti%20korrasami

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/tagged/korrasami

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/tagged/lok-fanwank

http://fantastic-nonsense.tumblr.com/tagged/makorra-defense-squad

——–

Now personally I think Korrasami is one of those mixed blessings.  Yeah kids show went there but its as sudden and shallow as existing hetero relationships.  I DO think the build up was there but its unsatisfying because, like any anime, its not there much post confession and its more teases.

This is especially, for me, because I REALLY didn’t like the character of Asami or get everyone’s deal with her. She seemed to exist to be Best Girl and… that it. My biggest disappointment was the closing of her arc with the death of her father and then, surprise, another love plot.  

Overall though I can’t devote much dislike for the relationship as a whole so much as a connected but not causative (Gabrielle and Janet did have some decent chemistry and there were possibilities) phenomenon of “the men suck so GO Muh Lesbians” which so underlies my experience with the idea I can understand OTHERS attributing the change as “pandering” 

However, ultimately, I’m just over it.  For some its meaningful even if not all that.  And considering into Fangbone AND Sailor Moon when I know there is more challenging or at least advanced if not better fare?  I should just accept it.

I am not anti- Korrasami so much as against anti-Mako (and Makorra) and really its a simpler but more nested problem as I think people latched onto Asami as one of the characters who… lets say retained her potential untainted for many fans.  But for me she was more of a waste than Mako ended up for me by the time he became a cop and not just Edward Cullen if he was from a K-drama.  S2 fixed him so much for me but thats also when the hatchet was put into play and then S3 started and…it hurt how I could see they were handling the ex-boyfriend (and way WAY WAY buttering up this Suddenly Sisterhood of Korra and Asami

“ as a whole she’s missing something. She isn’t ‘moe’ but she reminds me of the sketching and depth of such a style of character. A collection of traits to interest [the audience] as to full person even as she is interesting but feels thin. “

-me