#i spent 3 hours trying to answer this ask and tumblr was a little bitch about it so i ended up doing it like this | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

ppersonna · 5 years ago

Text

tempestuous - kth | m

tem·pes·tu·ous - adjective - characterized by strong and turbulent or conflicting emotion

↳ summary- There’s no one who riles you up more than Kim Taehyung, your best friend’s brother. He knows exactly how to make you fly off the handle.

↳ rating- explicit / 18+

↳ word count- 6.8k

↳ pairing- taehyung x reader

↳ genre- smut, minor angst i guess in the form of fighting, this is one big pile of smut, there’s some fluff too

↳ warnings- yikes where to begin. angry sex, penetrative sex, unprotected sex (don’t be like dis), slapping, spanking, pain kink, dom/sub elements, facefucking, really rough sex, finger sucking, derogatory names, uhhh name calling, hate sex, tae is fuckin nasty yall im thriving

↳ a/n- I HAD TO REUPLOAD bc tumblr sucks lol well folks. here we are. i was given a prompt by @ladyartemesia so i blame her. as for tae, he really came for me this week and completely wrecked me, love that for me. i really popped off here and it’s only edited by me so i’m SORRY if there’s a lot of mistakes. fun fact i actually wrote almost 10k of another version of this but it frustrated me so badly i scrapped it lmao 🤡 HERE WE GO! Enjoy! feel free to send in your requests and i promise to try and get it done for you!

Kim Taehyung could only be described in a few words.

Infuriating, bothersome, vexing.

Gorgeous, breathtaking, suave.

Absolutely, inherently maddening.

And you hate how much you absolutely melt underneath his gaze, the way your heart leaps into your throat with a single word. Your body, the ultimate betrayer, opens up to him as your brain screams to abort, reverse, go back to start and do not pass go.

Kim Taehyung is not just the bane of your existence, no. He’s the little brother of your best friend, Kim Namjoon. Joonie had been in your life since you were in first grade and he in second. Taehyung was your age, but you hit it off with the older boy and haven’t separated since. Your mothers joked that you would get married one day and continue on the Kim line. Until they found out that Namjoon was 1) bisexual and 2) hopelessly in love with, ironically, a man named Kim Seokjin. He reasoned to his parents that they would at least carry on the Kim name.

Where Namjoon was sweet, caring, and deeply compassionate towards you, Taehyung was his alter. Taehyung was brash, cocky and relished in watching you squirm, whether it be out of fury or the god forsaken sexual tension. All growing up, he was the one to pull your pigtails, trip you into puddles of mud, and tease you in front of your friends. Namjoon, ever the faithful companion, was always there to pick up the pieces of what Taehyung broke.

It’s been that way with Taehyung ever since. A constant tug of war with each other, both unwilling to give a single inch to the opponent.

Your relationship with Namjoon remained steadfast as ever. Namjoon eventually moved in with his now-husband, Seokjin, who easily settled into your life as an additional partner in crime. You spent most of your days and nights settled into the couch, snuggled somehow in between or next to one of the two men you cherished most. You had the two best friends you could ask for and a happy life, blissfully Taehyung-free.

Until it wasn’t.

A loud knock wakes you from an unexpected nap on Namjoon’s couch. Your eyes crack open against the glare of the sunlight streaming through the windows. It takes a moment to gather your surroundings. You recognize that you’re in Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, and judging by the silence, you’re definitely alone there. As you reach for your phone, the screen lights up the time. 5:34 pm. Well, shit. You remember eating brunch and drinking mimosas at noon with your best friends and then lying on the couch to watch Netflix. How had you fallen asleep for five hours? How did you not wake? What the fuck did Jin put in his mimosas?

The knock is insistent again, louder this time.

“Joon! Jin! it’s me! Open up!”

The voice sounds familiar in your sleep-addled mind, but not quite enough to pinpoint it. You push your limp body off the couch and wince at the feeling of sore muscles. Couch sleeping isn’t all it’s cracked up to be once you’re past the age of 25.

“Sorry, Namjoon isn’t here-,” You open the door to explain to the guest and you’re cut off.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

You rub at your sleepy eyes and allow your vision to focus, only to feel your blood stand still in your veins.

Kim Taehyung. Of fucking course.

“What do you mean, why am I here? I’m always here,” you tut as you fold your arms to your chest. “What are you doing here?”

He rolls his eyes and holds up his hands, two suitcases clutched in each. Who the fuck carries 4 suitcases up three flights of stairs? Kim annoying ass Taehyung does, apparently.

“I’m moving in.” He pushes past you and into the living room.

Your mouth gapes open. Namjoon certainly didn’t tell you this. Taehyung looks back at chuckles at your reaction.

“I’m guessing your best friend didn’t tell you the happy news?”

You shut your mouth, quickly jumping back into composure. “No, he failed to mention that,” you sniff. “I thought you lived with your girlfriend in Gangnam? What was her name? Rose or whatever?”

Tae stiffens, just slightly for a moment, before he plasters back on the bravado. “Obviously not anymore. We broke up, she kept the apartment. Got tired of moping at my mom’s house and I told Namjoon I wanted to come back to the city.”

You feel a slight tug at your stomach, guilt, perhaps? You clear your throat. “Oh, I’m sorry.”

He laughs as he sits on the couch, instantly throwing his feet onto the coffee table, like a heathen. “No, you’re not.”

“What do you mean, no I’m not? God, sorry for being polite!”

This, you reason, is why you can’t sustain longer than 5 minutes of civilized conversation with your best friend’s younger brother. He’s impossible.

He just smirks, and you know he loves the rise he gets out of you.

“Because I know you, and I know you don’t give a fuck about my love life.”

Au contraire. If only he knew just how much you gave a fuck.

“That doesn’t mean I can’t be nice to you!” you nearly stamp your foot in frustration but hold yourself back. That would be too good of ammo for him to use against you.

“Okay, fine,” he acquiesces. “Whatever helps you feel you’re a good person.”

You’re seeing red and you know you want to continue screaming at him but you will not stoop to his level.

“Christ, I haven’t seen you in months and you’re still an asshole,” you say as you grab your keys and shoes. “And also, Jin will kill you if he sees your feet on his coffee table.”

You whip yourself around and open the door to leave and hear him call over your shoulder.

“Good to see you too, doll! Love the hairstyle, by the way.”

You close the door with a growl leaving your throat. The absolute audacity of that man.

You stomp towards the elevator to take yourself to the ground level, when you catch your reflection in the shiny metal. Your hair is in what you can only lovingly call a complete hornet’s nest. It’s ratted and sticking out in places and you feel your cheeks burn. Your first reintroduction with Taehyung is with a fight AND with you looking like a fool.

This would not do. No, sir.

“Kim Namjoon!” you shriek into your cell phone. You’re awkwardly pressing it against your ear with your shoulder as you walk out of the convenience store under your apartment building with 3 bottles of soju and a six-pack of beer. You needed to drown your shame and sorrow, and fast.

“Hello, love of my life and moon of my stars,” your best friend replies and you can hear Seokjin chuckle in the background.

“No!” You chide, already cracking a beer open as you storm into your apartment building. “Don’t you Khal Drogo me, mister! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me your fucking asshole brother was moving in with you?!”

Namjoon is silent and you can tell he’s wincing on the other end of the phone. “Oops?” He offers.

“Yeah, big oops! A heads up would have been nice! Like, ‘hey best friend, your worst enemy of all time is moving in today. Maybe you shouldn’t fall asleep on my couch and wake up looking like Frankenstein’s ugly wife. Oh, and also my handsome boyfriend and I will just happen to not be there when he arrives’.”

By this time, you can tell Namjoon has put you on speakerphone because you can hear their rich laughter loud and clear. Rude bitches.

You stab your key code into your door and lock yourself in, chugging as much of the beer as you could handle.

“At least, even in her rants she thinks I’m handsome,” Jin gloats.

“I’m sorry babe,” Namjoon sighs as he finally calms down. “I didn’t know he would be there today. I just found out about it last night.”

You nibbled at your bottom lip, the annoying pit in your stomach feeling simultaneously guilty that he went through a breakup, unbridled joy that something brought him down a peg, and just a dash of excitement that he’s single now.

You let out a breath. “It’s okay, Joon. It just surprised me to see him.”

Jin butts in, “And because you have a big, fat, unresolved crush on him.”

“Jin!” You admonish. The couple laughs again and you roll your eyes, asking yourself why you put up with the two. “I do not!”

They both hum a non-committal answer, implying they don’t believe you in the slightest.

“Whatever. What are you guys doing, anyway?”

“We just got home from shopping. God, Jin looked so good in these jeans he tried on. I was actually just about to suck his coc-,”

“Kim Namjoon, do not finish that sentence! I do not wish to hear it!” You try to remain firm, but dissolve into giggles with the pair.

You could never stay mad at Namjoon long, even if his brother was the devil incarnate.

“Darling,” Jin calls through the phone. “I still expect to see you at our place tonight for our sleepover.”

Christ, you had forgotten all about your scheduled sleepover night. It was tradition and one of your favorite parts of your friendship with the couple. Jin, a literal chef, prepared a five star meal along with dessert for you while you binge watched Netflix and talked incessantly.

But you also usually slept in their spare bedroom. The exact one that Taehyung would be occupying.

“Fuck, while he’s there?”

“Oh suck it up,” Jin chides, like he’s your mother. “He’s probably not even going to leave his room. You’re not getting out of this. I’m making strawberry cheesecake.”

Your mouth waters at the idea of Jin’s famous cheesecake.

“Fine, but I get to lick the bowl and not Namjoon. Those are my terms.”

Namjoon squawked in defiance as Jin laughed. “I agree to your terms. Be at our place by 8.”

As you hung up the phone, you checked the time. 6:40. God, he hadn’t left you with much time to get ready, did he?

And you definitely needed to get ready. There was no way you were entering a room where Kim Taehyung exists looking like booboo the fool, not again.

Your fingers press the 6 digit passcode to Namjoon and Seokjin’s apartment, arms heavy laden with your bag of toiletries and pajamas, and a bag full of wine.

“Honey, I’m home!” You announce as you toe off your shoes and slide into the combined kitchen and living room.

You receive no reply, but greeted with the amused face of none other than the object of your filthiest dreams, Taehyung.

“Pet names already? We’re moving pretty fast, wouldn’t you say?” He asks you as he lounges at the kitchen table. He watches you open the fridge to set the wine, as comfortable in their home as you are in yours.

“Fuck off,” you grumble. “Where’s your brother?”

Tae seemed absolutely tickled by your disgruntlement. “I think they mentioned something about taking a shower. That was 20 minutes ago, though.”

“Great,” you sigh. “Those fucking horn dogs act as if they’re still newlyweds. We’ll be waiting awhile.”

You tug off your sweater, leaving you to remain in a fitted tank top and yoga pants. You tried to maintain a comfortable look as you dressed for the evening, while keeping in mind which leggings hugged your ass and showed off your toned thighs, and a tank top that dipped low to your cleavage. Okay, so maybe you had ulterior motives. You wanted to make up for your dreadful appearance earlier and make him squirm, payback for the years of him doing it to you.

You watch him as he lets his eyes roam your body, eying you like he wants to ravage you completely. You feel victorious… and also turned on. Fuck, you played yourself.

You flop onto the couch in a huff and Tae snorts before joining you.

“What’s so funny?” You eye him suspiciously.

“Nothing,” his smile feigns innocence. “I’m not allowed to laugh?”

You sniff in annoyance, not eager to fall for his tricks. “You’re allowed to do whatever you want, your highness.” Sarcasm drips from your voice and Tae finds it even more humorous.

“I see you’re still a sassy bitch.”

You gasp, audibly startled by his language and rise from the couch, fists clenched.

“I see you’re still a conceited dick!”

He rises to meet you where you stand, eyes boring into your own with his stupid sexy grin on his face. “I see you’re still not one to back down from a fight.”

You step closer, close enough to feel his breath on your face. Idly, you note it smells like peppermint and you move closer on reflex.

“Yeah? I see you’re still not one to avoid starting a fight in the first place!” you huff.

“Oh, I started it?”

“Yeah, you started it! You called me a bitch!”

You can’t believe this is happening. You feel as if you’re 6 again and fighting with him over a toy.

“A sassy bitch, actually,” he corrects, taking another step forward, bodies touching.

“Fuck you!”

“Only if you say please,” he quips before he closes the distance and presses his lips to yours in a scorching hot kiss.

There’s not even a moment of hesitation on your end, immediately pulling him even closer and wrapping your arms around his neck and allowing his tongue entrance to your mouth. Your body reacts to his instantly, as if it’s wired to respond to him and him only. Your mind was blank of anything except Tae, only Tae please, and you acted purely on instinct alone. And instinct was pulling him closer and begging, more, anything he could give.

The sound of laughter coming from the hallway pulls you apart, neither of you wanting to get caught by Namjoon or Jin. You stare at him, his lips are cherry red and slightly swollen and the image burns into your retinas. He has such pretty lips after you’ve kissed him.

“Oh hey! What’s going on here?” Namjoon asks as he notices the intense eye-battle you’re engaged in with his younger brother.

It shakes you out of the spell, eye contact broken and hypnosis halted.

“Just, errrr,” you falter to find the right words to explain the situation.

“Just getting reacquainted.” Tae sounds completely unaffected, as if the passionate kiss you shared with him seconds ago was but a distant memory. Asshole.

“I’m surprised you two haven’t thrown anything at each other yet,” Jin laughs. “Or thrown yourselves at each other.”

Both you and Taehyung whip to look directly at Jin.

“Her!?” Tae is incredulous. “Gross.”

You’ll never admit out loud that his words wound you.

“You’re an asshole, Taehyung,” you punctuate your words by turning away from him and towards Namjoon, who appears amused as ever.

“Ah, I love when my best friend and my little brother are screaming at each other. Feels like old times. Can one of you cry now to complete the moment?”

Taehyung grumbles under his breath, something you can’t catch, and stalks off to his room. The slam of his door reverberates in the apartment and Jin jumps and turns to yell down the hall at his brother-in-law.

“Yah! Don’t break my apartment! I still owe money on this!”

Despite Taehyung’s appearance every so often in the kitchen or living room, the rest of the night goes on with no annoying disturbances.

Jin spoils you and his husband with expensive food, and the best cheesecake you’ve ever eaten in your life. Plus, you’re given the bowl to lick clean despite a desperately adorable pout from Namjoon you were sure would persuade Jin.

You’re settled on the couch, snuggling in the middle of the couple as an action movie flickers across the big screen tv. Truthfully, you haven’t paid attention to a single thing happening, your thoughts entirely too absorbed in Taehyung and that deliciously infuriating kiss.

Why did he do it? You couldn’t comprehend his reasoning. Perhaps he was doing it to piss you off. He’s never angered you with that level of intimacy before, but you didn’t put it past him.

You’re surprised when the credits of the movie start rolling and Jin and Namjoon fake loud yawns.

“Oh man, I’m beat,” Namjoon lies.

Jin is quick to join. “Me too, I think I’ll pass out the moment I hit the pillow.”

You roll your eyes at the men. “Will you two please go fuck already, I know that’s what you’re going to do.”

Namjoon blanches, but Jin laughs and kisses your cheek. “Ah, my smart, beautiful and chaotic child,” he coos. He leans in to your ear, voice low to keep his husband from listening. “I don’t think I’m the only one in this house who’s going to get pounded into a mattress.”

He pulls back and winks at you, deftly ignores Namjoon’s confusion and sadness of being left out, and drags him to their bedroom with a loud ‘goodnight’.

You’re left to stew in your own emotions, which is never a good thing. Was the tension that obvious? You always assumed it had been one-sided, but the kiss befuddled you more than you’d like to admit.

It finally snapped in your mind, all the dots connecting. That’s why he did it.

He kissed you so you’d stew and simmer and eventually erupt, like you’re doing now. Taehyung knows you too well for your comfort.

You grab your bag of clothes and storm towards the bathroom to change, promising yourself to forget about the kiss and not give Taehyung what he wants.

Except you’re not very good at promises, especially to yourself.

You can’t say you’re excited to sleep on the couch again. While it’s a nice couch, it’s definitely not a bed and your back will pay the price tomorrow. You supposed it was better than the floor, but not by much.

After dressing in your pajamas, a purposefully picked out combination of tiny shorts and a sports bra in case Taehyung happens upon you, you return to your bed for the night in the living room.

Namjoon graciously left blankets and a pillow out for you, and you’re complaining internally about Taehyung the whole time you make yourself a spot to sleep. If it wasn’t for stupid Taehyung and his stupid existence, you’d be sleeping like a baby on the guest bed that you loved. But no, they relegated you to the couch like an animal.

Sleep was not in the cards tonight, it seems. You toss and turn and try to press at the cushions to move a lump around and get comfortable, but it’s all for naught. You’re wide awake and very, very uncomfortable. You didn’t understand how you fell asleep on this very couch earlier in the day. Maybe the mimosas you had at brunch with the couple had been helpful.

A thought crosses your mind. Alcohol. Maybe a nice glass of wine would help tuck you into a peaceful, dreamless sleep. A nightcap. Of course. You were angry at yourself for not thinking of it hours ago.

You slipped out of your disagreeable bed and into the kitchen, trying not to make a sound. Jin’s beloved kitchen was also an echo chamber of noise, even the slightest sound bouncing off its walls and amplifying it through the whole house. You still remember the way you jumped five feet in the air when Jin accidentally broke a plate. It sounded like a bomb explosion.

You bite your lip as you carefully pry the cabinet of wine glasses open, careful to not even allow a squeak of a hinge. You silently beg to stay silent and not wake anyone in the house. You didn’t want to be caught drinking wine at 2 am in the dark, that’s difficult to explain without looking like an alcoholic.

With glass in hand, you tiptoe the fridge to pull out the bottle of merlot, thinking the heavy red wine would be the best to get you sleepy and quick.

You tug the cork from the bottle and pour a healthy amount into the stemware with a smile. Liquid sleep. And you had done it without making a single sound. Perfection. The smell of the alcohol permeates through your nose as you lift the glass, placing it to your lips to take a sip.

“Wine at this hour?” the unexpected voice of Taehyung echos through the kitchen, making you yelp and jolting you hard enough that you drop the hard-earned glass of wine to the tile floor, red wine splashing as the sound of glass shattering is reverberating off the walls.

“Fuck!” You screech at the intruder. Taehyung doubles over, laughing as if he’s seen nothing funnier than what just transpired. “You asshole!”

You listen past Taehyung’s incessant laughter to ensure the owners of the apartment hadn’t awoken during the ruckus. You definitely did not want to face a tired and agitated Jin to tell him you shattered one of his Tiffany crystal goblets.

Beyond Tae, the house is silent and you’re thanking whatever god is listening for keeping your best friends asleep.

The wine is everywhere, spilling into the cracks of the tile and splattered on the walls. The crystal stemware is too; it shattered with such force that you see flecks of the shrapnel in all four corners of the room.

Tae wipes a tear from his face and you square a tempestuous look at him.

“Fucking help me! You made me drop it!”

Through snorts, he replies. “I didn’t make you do anything. You did that on your own.” Although he is arguing with you, he’s gingerly stepping into the kitchen and kneeling to pick up shards of glass.

“I wouldn’t have dropped it if you had come into the room like a fucking normal person,” you grit.

He collects the glass, the delighted grin on his face now permanent. He’s relishing in your annoyance, you know he is, and it burns you from the inside out.

“It’s not my fault you didn’t hear me.”

“You could have turned on the light! Why were you in the dark like a freak?” You’re grasping at straws, anything to pin this all on him. It would quell the fire in your belly to push it all onto him, make you feel as if you’ve won.

Taehyung levels a look at you. “And you weren’t also in the dark? Pouring a gallon of wine for yourself?”

Your cheeks flare red. Fuck, he definitely caught you there. You’re playing verbal poker with him and the hand you’re dealt falls flat compared to his royal flush. He grins, knowing he has you.

“Fuck you,” you snark, you go to insult when you’re backed into a corner.

“Ah, doll,” he winks. “We talked about that. Be careful what you wish for.”

The fire inside you is roaring to an inferno now, flames licking to your core. It’s a complicated mixture of anger and sexual energy. It’s infuriating that he’s able to make you feel every single emotion to the extreme. You hate that arguing with him turns you on, like it’s some perverse foreplay.

You moisten your lips with your tongue as you process his words, and Tae’s eyes hungrily track the appendage as it glides over your lips.

“Fuck. You.” You emphasize perfunctorily.

All thoughts of wiping up the mess are forgotten as Tae drags both you and himself off the floor and steers you to the living room, lips feverish against your own. He pushes you into the couch and tugs his shirt off, before replacing his lips to yours.

“Fuck, you’re so fucking hot when you’re a bitch,” he groans as he snaps the strap of your sports bra. “Seeing you get all worked up makes me so hard.”

He’s not wrong. You can see through his mesh basketball shorts that he’s sporting an impressive package, rock hard in its clothed prison.

“Yeah?” You bite at his lip.

“Hell yeah.” His hands work to the elastic band under your bust and tugs the offending material off, tits springing free as he throws it to the floor.

“Holy shit,” Taehyung breathes as he gets a good look at your chest.

You shake them gently, grinning as he watches them jiggle. “You like what you see?”

He smirks and pinches a nipple, wiping the coy smile off your face and turning it into a moan. “I like when you’re mouthy, but don’t push it.”

He lowers his head to the nipple he’s still pinching in his fingers, licking at it and replacing his fingers with his mouth. He’s moaning around the nipple, and you’re gasping for more. His hot mouth sucks at you, teeth nibbling and pulling it until you’re whimpering in delicious pain.

“Fuck!” He cries as he pops away from your nipple. “You’re so fucking hot.”

Your body warms at his words, arousal pooling between your legs. You’re sure that your thighs are drenched in your essence.

He slurps your neglected breast into his mouth, ensuring your nipples are equally abused. His tongue is skilled but his mouth is messy, saliva dripping all around your tit and it’s the hottest fucking sight you’ve ever seen.

He’s pulling away again and pinching both nipples with his hands simultaneously. “And you’re so fucking annoying.”

You’re pleading for more or to stop, you’re not sure. He continues.

“Mm, I’m gonna fuck you until you’re a good little bitch for me. Listening to every fucking thing I say.”

He releases your nipples, and you finally find the ability to focus again, staring directly at him.

“Oh, you think you’re that good?” you sass as you attempt to catch your breath. “Put your money where your mouth is.”

Tae grips your chin roughly, face inches away from yours with a sadistic grin. “You’re going to regret those words, baby.”

Instantly, he’s standing up and tugging his shorts down to let his cock spring free. Your brain misfires as you visually measure his cock and your mouth goes dry. He’s thick and long. The bulbous head is dripping pre-cum, begging you to slurp it up.

“How about I put my money where your mouth is,” he suggests as he grabs a fistful of your hair.

He teasingly rubs his cock on your lips and cheeks, makes you whimper with need. Your tongue is sticking out, desperate for him to lay it on you.

“Already so fucking greedy,” he grunts and in one motion, directs his dick into your open mouth. “I’ll fuck your throat, yeah? Greedy bitches love getting face fucked.” He is still for a beat more, eyes searching yours for consent and you nod with his cock still in your mouth. He winks, then begins a rapid pace, his cock fucking into your mouth and throat.

You’re sure you look like a goddamn mess with saliva dripping from your mouth as Taehyung punishes your throat with his thrusts. You gag and moan around him, and he tightens his grip in your hair as you see stars.

It’s indescribable. Never have you felt such pleasure from sucking cock, but Tae commands your entire body, willing you to drip with anticipation.

“My little fuck toy, god you feel so fucking good,” he hisses. “You’re gonna swallow my cum, baby.”

His hips are stuttering, he’s close, and you’re sucking him harder, cheeks pulling in harder to vacuum him in. The pressure makes him groan out loud.

“So good, so fucking good. Get ready for your prize, baby,” his voice cuts off in a gasp, as his cock twitches violently. His legs shake and he doesn’t hold back the moans of his orgasm, gasping as he feels rope after rope spill down your hot throat.

Your big doll eyes are twinkling up at him, lips still wrapped around his cock. Taehyung is sure it’s the hottest thing he’ll ever see in his lifetime. You on your knees, subservient to him and thriving for it.

“Mmm, I like it when your mouth is full like this,” he slowly pulls out of your mouth, albeit reluctantly. “Can’t talk back to me when you’re sucking my cock like a whore.”

You smile and stick out your tongue, pleased to show him you happily accepted his cum.

“Good fucking girl,” he coos as he grips your chin again. “Did you like my cum?”

You nod, brain fried from the heat of the room.

“Use your words,” he grits and grips your jaw harder. It’s enough to shock you into compliance.

“Y-yes! Fuck, I love your cum, Tae.” Your words are breathy and raspy, throat raw from his barrage.

“I knew you would, filthy slut. Sit on the couch.” He orders and you’re quick to scurry and sit on the makeshift bed you made.

His hands are tugging down your shorts quickly. No teasing or seduction here, not now. You lift your hips, and he throws them aside. Your legs close on reflex, making him growl.

“Do not hide yourself from me.” His tone is dark and you can’t help but shiver as you open yourself up to him. You want to talk back, want to fight and bite at him, but you’re quickly losing the ability to even speak, and you’re aching for him.

“Where’s my mouthy little bitch? You’re awfully quiet. Did I finally break you?” He teases, pressing your legs upward, knees to your ears. It’s pornographic how on display you are for him, soaking wet cunt front and center.

“The great Taehyung thinks he can break me with his cock,” you mewl, mustering all the false confidence you can. You’re lying through your fucking teeth and you both know it, but you continue. “You’ll have to do more than that.”

Your pussy is quaking with need now, desperate for a single touch. His hands maintain purchase on the backs of your thighs, holding them up.

“There she is,” he bites at the flesh of your leg closest to him which makes you jerk in his hold. “Gonna fuck the brat right out of you.”

He removes a hand from your thigh and you’re quick to pick up the slack, holding the thigh in place to maintain his open show of your pussy.

“Try me,” you murmur, and you’re instantly regretting your words as a harsh slap descends and lands square on your cunt.

You nearly scream, pain flooding your wanton pussy, before turning into delicious pleasure that stings and tingles right at your clit. It sizzles, and warmth blooms where his hand was.

“That’s for not believing me.” His eyes are feral and you want to bottle this memory forever.

Another slap has your legs trembling, eyes rolling back as the burn turns to a low heat. You’re dripping your wetness down onto the couch and Jin will kill you, but you don’t care.

“That was for calling me a dick,” he smirks.

Smack.

Tears spring in your eyes as the slap brings more pleasure than pain, desperately close to your edge.

“Look at you, you could cum just from this, couldn’t you?”

“F-fuck! Yes, please, I need more, please!” Your cunt is clenching around nothing, desperate for friction and leaking out of you like a faucet. Taehyung marvels at you, legs spread so far, with a cunt weeping with arousal for more. He can’t wait to dive in there, but he’s not finished with you yet.

“More? I don’t know if you deserve more, baby, you’ve been awfully mean to me,” he tsks, breathing hot air on your clit, making you whine.

“P-please! I’m sorry!” You’re sure you will black out with how desperately you need him. You need him more than you need oxygen.

“Beg.”

You’re quick to submit. Thoughts of fighting back are long gone, you’re his wanton little slut now.

“Please, please! Pleaseeeee, make me cum! I’ll do anything.”

“Anything?” He asks with an arch of his eyebrow.

You’re nodding wildly, gazing at him with desperate, watery eyes.

“Anything, I need you so f-fucking bad it hurts!”

By the time the words leave your lips, he’s thrusting two fingers into your cunt viciously, fingering you ferociously. He arches them, rubbing against your spongy g-spot and making you scream. He knows you’re close, knows you only need one little push off the edge. He plays your body like a skilled practitioner.

“Cum on my fingers, baby. Let me see my greedy little bitch milk my fingers.”

Your body and mind react accordingly, deep down you know your body is owned completely by him, all his. Your orgasm explodes and you think you actually scream, your vision is black and your hearing goes silent for a moment as you cum harder than you have in your life. You’re squeezing his fingers with your pussy so tight and Taehyung is gently licking all the juices from his hand with his fingers still inside you.

It takes time to descend from the separate plane of existence Taehyung sent you too, but you come back and watch as he laps at the liquid of your cunt and on his hand like it’s a vital necessity. His fingers remain in your walls, and he refuses to break eye contact with you. You’re positive you could cum again from the sight.

“My little cockslut tastes so good, just how I like,” he tells you tenderly. “Like cherries, so sweet. My little cherry.”

Your cunt is aching and warming back to life as he pulls his fingers out of you. The loss is immense and you’re whimpering for more.

“Ah, ah,” he hushes you. “No whining. You’ll take what I give you. Suck my fingers clean. Taste yourself.”

He presses his fingers into your mouth, earning him a sigh, the taste of you filling your mouth. You swirl your tongue around his fingers and suckle each one to ensure your tongue laves the entire surface.

“Fuck,” he whispers and it’s his first crack in his steel reserve. “Needy.”

He pulls his fingers from your mouth and presses against you to kiss. It’s gentle, sweet, and nothing compared to the man assailing your pussy with slaps moments ago. It thrills you just the same and you return in kind, threading your hands in his wavy hair.

He pulls away and presses his forehead against yours, a moment of gentleness you actively welcome.

“This little cunt ready for me?” He whispers and you’re whimpering your reply.

“Please, fuck me. I need you to fuck me until I can’t walk.”

He grins and presses a kiss to your lips again, sweet and chaste, before he pulls away and slides down to attach those same sinful lips to your pussy.

It’s so unexpected you flinch and manage a cry as his tongue slurps up more of your delicious essence and his mouth moves to suckle on your clit. You’re not sure where the fuck he learned these tricks, but you know now you will never let him go.

“Taehyung!” You cry at the sensation. “Fuck!”

After receiving the reaction he was desperate for, he slips his tongue into your walls deep and gathers as much of you as he can, before he’s pulling back and swallowing you down.

“I couldn’t resist. Your cunt was made for me to devour.”

He doesn’t allow for a response as he throws your legs over his shoulders and lines himself up at your core.

“Condom?” He asks you, and you level a quick look at him.

“I don’t live here! I don’t have any!” You’re savage, terrified he’ll pull his cock away when all you want and can think about is the way he’ll feel pounding into you.

“Don’t be rude, baby,” he reminds you with a swat to your ass. “I’m clean, promise. You?”

You nod quickly, reveling in the spank’s tingle. “Same. I have an IUD too,” you sigh. Thank god for medical birth control implants.

“Good. You’re the only pussy I’m gonna fuck from now on,” he promises. You know you must talk about this later, when you’re thinking rationally and not with your aching pussy.

Your heart stutters and leaps into your throat but all is forgotten as he plunges into your tight heat.

“Ohhhhh shit, ahhh,” he gasps. “Baby, you’re so fucking tight and wet.” He’s on the verge of whining, becoming just as needy and greedy as you. He wastes no time in setting a pace.

His cock fills you completely, his angle allowing him to go as deep as he can, pressing the beginning of your cervix. This is surely what heaven feels like. It feels like the completeness you feel with Taehyung fully sheathed inside you.

It comes alive with flames and explosions as he fucks you, hips pistoning to plunge in and out of you with tenacity. He fucks you like he laces every single thrust with more, more than just sex. He fucks you with purpose.

You’re moaning like a pornstar now, high pitch wails and gasps and breathy moans are all you can manage. “Taehyung, yes! Feel so g-g-good!”

“That’s right baby, scream my fucking name. Make sure all the neighbors know who fucking ruined you,” he nearly spits, cock thrusting into your core at an impossible speed. “I want you to tell all of Korea who owns you. Who owns this tiny little cunt?”

The wind leaves you, and you’re gasping for air, gaping mouth open as you try to reply. It takes him fucking into you harder a few times before you feel it rush back into you.

“You, Taehyung! You! Fuck, I love your cock!”

His thumb rubs at your engorged clit, allowing it the friction it seeks. He bends forward and wraps his other hand around your throat, squeezing.

Losing air combined with the friction on your clit has you keening, so close to the edge. You try to babble his name but nothing comes out.

“Look at my pretty little slut taking my cock so well,” he praises. “You have the greediest pussy, don’t you? You need my cock daily, baby. Need to put my mouthy bitch in her place, remind her who’s in charge.”

He slows his pace but his thrusts are punishing, fucking into you as hard as he can. Your orgasm is climbing so impossibly high.

“F-fuck!” You gasp as he releases his grip on your neck. “Gonna cum! Please let me cum!”

“Yeah baby, cum for me. Cream your greedy pussy all over my cock.”

The world stops spinning as you hit the height of your climax and plunge down. Your vision goes black and your body is quivering and convulsing nearly as hard as your cunt is. Taehyung hisses at your walls sucking him in, as if you’re begging for his cum, begging for more.

“Fuck, good girl, baby, holy shit,” he’s breathless and so close.

You’re overstimulated, boneless, but he wrought two of the best orgasms you’ve ever felt in your life and you’ll be damned if you leave him high and dry. You bite your lip as you move with him, hips pounding against each other. His face is scrunched up and you know he’s close when he’s stuttering on his words. You take over for him.

“Please cum in me baby, please. Fill me up. I’m yours, baby, mark my little cunt as yours.” You don’t know where it’s coming from, but you keep it going. It feels as natural as fucking him does. “Please, Taehyung!”

At the sound of his name leaving you in a whine, he spirals down his own completion. He feels his cock pulse as he empties his load into you, your walls still reverently beckoning for him. He’s calling out your name, grasping at your tits as he finishes and you’re smiling from ear to ear. Your pussy is warm with his seed and you’re positive it’s the way you want to feel every single night.

“Holy fuck,” Taehyung rasps as he pulls his cock out of you. He thrills as he watches his cum follow, slipping out your folds and down your thigh. “I definitely marked you.”

You hum in reply, finally allowing yourself to soak in the haze of orgasmic bliss. Tae presses his head to yours again, kissing you sweetly.

“Come sleep in my bed?” He asks. He means more behind it. He wants to ask you to sleep in his bed every night, stay with him every day, be the one he grows old with. He knows there’s still more to talk about, wounds of the past to heal, but now you’re with him, and he knows he’ll work through anything.

You nod, and kiss him again, understanding his hidden meaning laced in his words.

A sly smile spreads across his face. “Last one to bed has to take the blame for the wineglass,” he teases. Your head spins as if you’ve got whiplash. He can switch from dominating to sensitive to the little shit he is so quick.

“Hey! No fucking fair! You fucked my ability to run out of me!”

“Shouldn’t have been such a sassy bitch,” he winks before he tears away towards his room.

“Taehyung, you’re an asshole!” You call as you limp your way behind him.

From behind Joon and Jin’s door, a critical voice bellows, “YAH! I’ll kill you if you got your jizz on my couch! And what is this I heard about my glass!!? HEY! Those are TIFFANY. CRYSTAL. THE DISRESPECT!”

You slip into Taehyung’s bed and wrap yourself around him, the two of you gasping with mischievous giggles.

Kim Taehyung will always be the one who knows how to drive you wild. He’ll always aggravate and infuriate you, send you reeling.

But now you didn’t think you minded it at all.

#bangtanarmynet #maknaesmutsociety #btswritersnet #btswriterscollective #kwritersworldnet #bts taehyung #bts kim taehyung #bts v #bts fic #bts smut #bts fanfic #kim taehyung #v

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immortalfornow · 4 years ago

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ask game!

I was tagged by @fandomfishbish, my very cool mutual (thanks, by the way! this was fun and your answers were interesting!). The rules are pretty simple: answer 30 questions, tag some people you’d like to get to know better (it’s supposed to be 20 but I am pretty new to tumblr so I probably won’t tag very many)

Name/Nickname: I go by Jordyn on the internet bc there are creeps and my real name is unique enough that putting it out there makes me nervous lol

Gender: hmm...good question. afab but going through a gender crisis lately so ???? I use she/her pronouns for now though

Star sign: scorpio :) I promise I’m not evil though haha

Height: 5′5 and I’m proud of it bc I am taller than my mom which means I am a GIANT

Time: I am in pacific standard time

Birthday: November 17!

Favorite bands: oh no I listen to so many bands I could not tell you my favorite to save my life. top 3 rn are probably mother mother, twenty one pilots, and idkhow but that will probably different by tommorow morning so don’t quote me on it

Favorite solo artist: erm probably the narcissist cookbook but there’s so many good artists idk

Song stuck in my head: all of them all the time lol

Last movie: the brainwashing of my dad. it’s a documentary on amazon prime about how the right hooks regular people and radicalizes them. it was really interesting!

Last show: atla, I think. I’m tryna watch it all so I can watch legend of korra

When did I create this blog: err sometime in late 2020 I think. I was on here earlier, but I deleted my old blog a couple years ago and 2020 just got too boring so I came back and started over and now I have this tiny lil blog

What do I post: mostly just random reblogs. a lot of stuff from podcasts, but it’s honestly just whatever I think is cool and that shifts around a lot

Last thing I googled: auskbdhieulrp my mom was convinced that there was a song called what’s up supercat so I spent half an hour trying to find that only to come to the unfortunate realization that it was actually a song called what’s new pussycat that is much less cool than she remembered and not very good at all

Do I get asks: not really bc I have very few followers but oh well

Why I chose my url: it’s my url on another site and I wanted something easy to remember lol

How many blogs do I follow: 77 bc I haven’t properly re-explored tumblr yet

How many followers I have: it’s a secret hehe

Average hours of sleep: swings wildly between 2 hours and 9

Lucky number: hmm idk but my favorite number is 9 bc it’s 3 cubed and that’s just neat

Instruments: I used to be able to play viola and clarinet but it’s been a while. I’m trying to teach myself piano right now though

What am I wearing: jeans and a black shirt bc today has been A Day

Dream job: I’d like to be a therapist and a photographer on the side. landscape photography is my little pipe dream I’ve had for ages, but I also really want to help people!

Dream trip: I have no idea!!!! I haven’t really been able to travel much so going literally anywhere would make me happy, I think

Last book I read: A horrible romance novel that my sister is really into lol

Favorite food: hmm there’s too many options

Nationality: American, unfortunately

Favorite song: hmm right now probably that bitch by bea miller bc it’s just very good and I love angry women haha

Top three fictional universes: again, my likes shift rapidly so don’t quote me on this later lol. but probably star trek would be one just bc there’s just so much possible and I think that’s really cool (though I haven’t watched a ton of it), the dndads universe bc it brings me comfort, and (assuming I can pick a game, which I have decided I can) the subnautica universe bc there’s so much to explore and its lore is so interesting. minecraft almost beat subnautica just bc I know so much random stuff about it (especially considering that I don’t really play it), but subnautica is so pretty that I had to put it on the list

What is something you like about yourself? I like how curious and open minded I am about the world. I think it enriches my life and the life of people around me, and it’s a good trait to have.

hmmm I have absolutely no idea who to tag bc I don’t know a lot of people on here. definitely @soresorelungs, bc idk much about you but you seem cool (no pressure though! you don’t have to do it if you don’t want to!). other than that, anyone who sees this and wants to do it can say I tagged them :)

#actually though @fandomfishbish thanks so much for the tag #this was great!!!#also #if anyone ever has random questions they wanna ask me I'm 100% down #just send me an ask or a dm :)#sorry so many of the answers are noncommittal but so am I lol

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lettersxnotes · 5 years ago

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INSTRUCTIONS: TAG 10 PEOPLE YOU’D LIKE TO KNOW BETTER!

and [thor voice] ANOTHER! a much longer one, too. tagged once again by the loveliest of lovelies @kidmannicole <3

name: sheryl starsign: aquarius sun, gemini moon, gemini rising hogwarts house: i’m finally a ravenclaw height: 5′3″ i think sexuality: queer favorite animal: doggos, pandas, elephants average time of sleep: 5-6 hours but i wish it was more current time: 10.34pm dogs or cats: doggies blankets you sleep with: one big one i like to wrap around myself so i’m a human burrito when you made your blog: this blog? maybe 3 years ago? but i’ve been on this site since 2009 omfg followers: about 150 why you made your blog: surprisingly, tumblr now seems like the least harmful social media platform for me since i can curate this space as much as i want reason for your url: bong joon-ho is a boss

RULES: ANSWER 21 QUESTIONS AND TAG 21 PEOPLE YOU WOULD LIKE TO GET TO KNOW BETTER

real name? sheryl nickname? sher zodiac? aquarius favorite musicians or groups? janelle monáe, julien baker, pvris, my chemical romance, fall out boy, taylor swift, lady gaga, blackpink favorite sports teams? i am Clueless here other blogs? not anymore do i get asks? only sometimes how many blogs do i follow? about 100 and like maybe 10 of those are probably chris evans fan accounts tumblr crushes? ari you’re one of them!! also @whatelsecanwedonow whose blog is EPIC lucky numbers? 2, 7, 11 what am i wearing? black shorts, meg & dia t-shirt dream vacation? i want to visit all of scotland and ireland dream car? ya girl can’t drive and doesn’t really plan to LOL favorite food? carbs. <- SAME drink of choice? black tea or black coffee, no sugar instruments? piano and guitar languages? english and a little mandarin celebrity crushes? many many many people. i get crushes on talented performers all the time. and idk if you knew this but if you just spent a teeny bit of time on my blog... the answer is chris evans random facts? i cannot ride a bicycle

THIS OR THAT

20 RANDOM FACTS ABOUT YOURSELF THAT MAY SURPRISE PEOPLE.

1. do you make your bed? NO 2. what’s your favourite number? 11 3. what’s your job? i write 4. if you could, would you go back to school? fuck nooooooooo 5. can you parallel park? the bitch can’t drive. 6. a job you had which would surprise people? eh i’ve always worked within my field 7. do you think aliens are real? yep. 8. can you drive a manual car? is this quiz just trying to make me feel inadequate for not knowing how to drive!!! 9. what’s your guilty pleasure? nothing anymore 10. tattoos? sadly, none 11. favourite colour? lilac, powder blue, obsidian 12. things people do that drive you crazy? people who willfully miscommunicate drive me bonkerssss 13. any phobias? butterflies and moths 14. favourite childhood sport? netball 15. do you talk to yourself? all the time. 16. what movie do you adore? the lord of the rings <- DITTO 17. do you like doing puzzles? i haven’t done any since i was a kid so i don’t know! 18. favourite kind of music? anything with narrative, introspective lyrics 19. tea or coffee? truly both 20. the first thing you remember you wanted to be when you grew up? buzz lightyear space ranger. seriously.

honestly if you got to the end, you’re such a champ!!! ily. tagging you reading this specifically.

#about me #text post #tag games

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softforcal · 5 years ago

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Writing Tips

I get a lot of asks about tips on writing so i figured i’d just make a huge ass post for ya’ll :)

this shit covers: character, plot, motivation, past vs present tense, 3rd vs 1st verson, oneshots vs multi chapter fics, moodboards for character building, dialogue, oc’s vs reader inserts, face claims, the grocery store test, the meme test

Character

okay i want to start by saying: i used to write imagines so writing in character was like MY THING for like 6 years so i have a LOT OF PRACTICE with watching something and picking up on characters and i’ve spent THOUSANDS of hours watching shows. so like, i’ve spent a lot of time on this you know? so don’t feel bad if you have a life and havent had as much practice :)

so at the moment, i’ve been doing character mood boards to help figure out a character? but the thing about that is im picky about face claims and it can be hard so this is an easily skippable option and i’m not even sure if i enjoy it yet you know?

so first: i think of a story. i think of the type of OC that’s involved, i think about what they’re like, (i sometimes find a face claim), i give them a name

for me, as soon as they have a name and sort of a face in my brain, they take on a life of their own. a character knows when you’ve found the right name and face for it and it comes alive when you do. like for me, Birdie was originally ‘Cherry’ but she was like ‘bitch no’ and wouldn’t let me write her until i found her name.

to be honest. i don’t plan things. like. when i write, the character just takes over. i have no control. they do what they want. fucking Valentina and Harry in Trouvaille, i had a whole angst scene for them and these assholes decided to go on the terrace and tell each other they like each other instead and then the story just ended. like. i had a pLAN and they RUINED IT.

you can’t be afraid if letting your characters do what they want to do. when you plot, a loose outline is good but i just throw my characters into a situation and see where they go.

like for my final gang au chapter, did i want Michael to leave town? no. but he needed to take Dove and get the fuck out of there you know?

i don’t make playlists really, sometimes certain songs stick to people, like one of my characters, his song right now is Girlfriend by Anderson East and that song was sort of inspiration.

I don’t know where my inspiration comes from. obviously i write a FUCK ton so let me see if i can explain a few past stories and where they came from.

Gang AU was born from a post by @hereforlukescruff about the song ‘Or Nah.’

Cromulent was based off a tumblr post about enemies fake dating

Wild one was legit just me figuring out how to work all of @glitterprincelus fav things into one fic

Floral was based off of looking at my favourite tattoo artists floral tattoos

Trouvaille was originally pompous New York! Calum but as i developed it, it was Harry and i couldn’t stop him from pushing Cal out of the way and being like ‘this is my apartment you wanker get the fuck out of here and let me smoke and paint in peace.’

Noise was originally based off an idea by @palliddark that i was blessed enough to receive, she also had influence in Cromulent because months ago she requested a post about the boys recording having sex for a song.

So i think what we’re realizing here is a lot of it comes through interacting with other creators. one of my new pieces is based off of 2 5sos songs and one is based off of a person in Love Island. so inspo can hit from anywhere

the fic im working on now came from me talking to @harryforvogue about the new Gucci ads Harry did.

i started a Greaser Cal that i dropped cuz im a whore, but it was inspired by @calsangel and hopefully it gets completed sometime soon

like. talking to other creative people is just a breeding pool for ideas. people you trust and love, people who you can bounce off of. listen for stories in music, study people and characters and who knows where it might lead you :)

i hope this helps. but yeah. my number one piece of advice: talk about writing, talk about stories, talk about the guys you want to write about and inspo WILL hit.

also to all the people i have tagged i hope you know how much you guys mean to me. like. i really appreciate all you guys do and how much support you’ve given me and continue to give me. i hope i can offer the same support in return and i love you all with my whole heart.

****** Moodboard and Character (final thoughts)

So basically since i wrote that OG advice, i’ve begun to realize: moodboards are a good tool because if you can easily come up with 9 pics for a character they’re pretty well thought out.

for example, my easiest moodboard to make was for Birdie in my gang au

Birdie: likes scrunchies, reading, classic stories, ice cream, bubblegum, lollipops, acrylic nails, having her hair in a bun

my worst moodboard was for a character named Annabelle from Noise

i started and was like... who is Annabelle: she’s blonde... she uhhhh is doing psychology?

and that’s all i could get because Annabelle was a mostly dialogue driven character with no actual mentioned likes or dislikes, in my eyes, Annabelle was not a well thought out character.

so moodboards can help because they show you how well you’ve got your characters figured out.

******

Plot

so plot is tough. i tend to gravitate more to character driven plot because characters are my #thing. i’m going to start by going through some of my plotlines and going over the good and bad and hopefully have an answer at the end of it after picking apart my writing. should be FUN.

long fic plots

Noise plot: Annabelle gets a new neighbour and he keeps fucking girls and waking her up and they have banter, he’s a hothead and invites her to psychoanalyze him and it leads to some tension but he is soft for her right away and they a little awkward with each other but finally give love a try.

Floral plot: would renowned tattoo artist Calum chooses a new apprentice, socially awkward and anxious Lily, they’re attracted to each other but the confines of a boss and pupil relationship are tight and evident, creating tensions. Calum struggles with being professional while falling for the cute apprentice, especially when pressure is put on them by their friends, after slow burn and anxiousness they finally get together.

Cromulent plot: Calum has a new PR relationship with Chlo and he hates her, he thinks she’s fake and does everything he can to piss her off, finally deciding to fuck with her emotions by being a GREAT boyfriend which ends up hurting her and he realizes maybe she’s not so bad after all, things are a little confusing but they finally sit down and talk it out and address some of Calum’s insecurities about her past relationships and PR stunts, they agree to give love a try.

so, from these 3 long fic outlines we can see i usually go for character based turmoil which works well for fics between 10-15k (or longer, Trouvaille fits this format and it was 19k) I just think, relationships take time and people struggle to figure themselves out enough to enter a relationship. if you have some fiery characters and banter (Cromulent and Noise) or perhaps awkward anxiety and tip toeing (Floral and Trouvaille) shit works out you know?

for smaller oneshot fics plots can be easier and more situational i think.

Movie Snack plot : Cal goes to Luke and his GF’s place for movies and Luke gets bored and eats the reader out in front of Cal which leads to sex.

Road Trip plot : Luke and reader are dating and on a road trip they’re horny but end up having to share a room with Cal who has always had a thing for the reader, smut ensues.

Stay Still plot : Tattooist!Cal is the readers fuck buddy and she goes to get her tits pierced, ending up with Luke as her piercer, but Calum shows up and angst leads to smut.

so yeah, for smaller 1-5k little smut pieces it can be more relaxed, smut is just smut, not love, and sex is a hell of a lot easier than love you know?

yeah, so that’s all my plot advice

*********

3rd person, 1st person, what the fuck person

when it comes to HOW you write your fic (what person, what tense, etc...) that’s up to you. it’s honestly whatever you feel best in. i’ve dabbled with a bit of everything. you just have to find what feels the most natural to you :) that’s the only advice i can give on this because no one thing is better than the other, it’s up to you.

one tip for 3rd person i have is to generally focus on one character. i’m a fan of doing the thing where for example, in Cromulent, we focus on Calum and why he doesn’t like Chlo. if we switched to Chlo a lot it would take away from the unreliable narration and bias Calum has. the good thing is to stay with Calum and be angry at Chlo and realize with Cal that she’s not so bad.

but that’s just me.

you can do switching when characters are together or on a phone call, like if you’re with Calum but he’s calling (for example) Chlo and then you want to see her reaction you can do

Calum groaned, staring at the ceiling, “bla bla cal saying shit”

“bla bla Chlo answering” she held the phone tighter etc...

and just like that you’re now with Chlo not Calum.

*********** OC’s vs Reader Insert

i’ll be real here: for some reason, i feel like reader inserts are more read on tumblr and i started out doing reader inserts to build a following.

personally, i prefer writing OC’s because you can go more in depth with EVERYTHING.

it’s honestly up to you what you want to do. i’ve decided to do my short smuts at reader insert and longer fics as OC but it’s whatever works for you at the end of the day.

***********

Dialogue

I’m a fan of dialogue driving story, Noise was so much fucking dialogue it’s insane. finding your characters voice is important and sticking with that makes a huge difference. if you’re character can kind of be seen based JUST on what they’re saying, thats a good sign.

i hate to say it but imma say it: when doing 5sos it’s important to know they’re Australian. some countries have different mannerisms and such, for example, i’m Canadian but i can’t have Calum out here saying “it’s a nice day eh?” you know? so, i would advise to try to get a handle on accents and word choice specifically to make them more believable. as is said in the iconic movie Tropic Thunder

***********

Motivation

so this is probably one of the biggest issues writers are facing and i’m about to get REAL AS FUCK.

on tumblr, it can feel like once you gain a following you CONSTANTLY need to be pumping shit out for them.

back in the day, i was posting a HC a day and a lot of it was for hogwarts!5sos. it felt like a job, which wasn’t anyone elses doing per se, i just think a lot of fic writers get caught up in this pressure whether it’s imposed by anons or not (im lucky that i’ve never had anon pressure and i’m very grateful for my amazing followers tbh)

Tumblr is not a job. if you’re writing, write for you. you are blessing tumblr with you’re writing. please don’t feel pressure to put stuff out or write a new chapter or anything.

if you ever feel like you’re under a lot of pressure, take a few days away, find the root of your writing joy. always do what you want to do. if you have to turn off asks to feel sane, do it. if you gotta block mean anons pressuring you, do it. you don’t owe anyone anything.

your writing is a gift graciously bestowed on this hellsite and this site shouldn’t make you feel pressured to write and give content FOR FREE. it shouldn’t make you lose your passion and make writing feel like a chore or job.

motivation can be hard. i’m a fucking psycho so don’t use me as a base for what you should be doing. i put out a fic a week which i really shouldn’t be doing, it’s not practical. but i can type fast as fuck and writing 1 or 2k in 10 minutes is normal for me so don’t use me as an example you know.

go at your own pace. write what you love. write au’s or for the characters you love and hopefully the rest will come.

******** Multi Chapter vs oneshots

ok more realness, pros and cons of each

oneshots:

pros:

-its one and done, no need to worry about putting out more

-they can be fun

-it’s all in one place which a lot of readers like

Cons:

-can be long af

-take longer to write since a oneshot is probably like 10+k depending on who you are as opposed to perhaps 5k chapters of a multi chapter fic

Multi Chapter

pros:

-people are excited for more

-cliffhangers are fun

-people interact with you more about chapters to come

cons:

-more pressure to put out new chapters

-with each new chapter you’re probably losing likes because people get bored or forget about it because people sometimes don’t have the attention span or whatever to continue reading whenever you update

-usually tend to be longer than a oneshot (5k chapters means that in 2 chapters you have probably surpasses a oneshot length of 10ishk)

So i will be real. i prefer oneshots. i adore my gang au which was long as fuck and super multi chaptered but it’s tough to see the likes go down and down. plus, i wrote all of Penumbra (the main multi chaptered part) before i started putting it out so i had no pressure to write more cuz that shit was done before i started posting.

which does help. if you want to write the whole thing before you start posting it takes off the first con but you’re still left with the other 2.

**********

Face Claims

i feel like for some characters they’re born without a face claim but i totally get it if you want to use a face claim before you even start. finding face claims can be hard so you have to get ready to go creep on insta and look at models and figure out who you like. a lot of insta models follow each other so once you find a model you like, look through their following list or recent likes to see other models.

another thing you can do is go for brands or photographers who link their models. Fashion Nova for example, if you’re scrolling through and like a girl the link is there. and the same goes for some photographers. there’s a lot of accounts that are just for hot girls with links to their instas so (even if it feel weird) you should go check those out :)

******

The Grocery Store Test

next, for making characters, i think for me name is a big part of it. once a character finds their name that character comes alive in my mind. i was thinking about this yesterday and i said to myself, ‘you know you have a good grasp on your character when you can imagine them in a grocery store and know what they’d do.’

for example:

Birdie (from Gang AU) would go look at nail polish and candy, Luke would legit have to put her in the cart to get her out of there and if there’s a book section? good luck man

Valentina (trouvaille) is just gorgeous. she and Harry would go and he’d push the cart and she’d have a nicely written notepad of things to get and she’d look so pretty, head bowed, crossing things off, and Harry would be such a melt for her. he would crash into things cuz he’s so busy paying attention to her. she’d be a fan of picking up boxes and reading out nutritional values just to point out to Harry that eggos are not good for him.

so, Valentina and Birdie are probably my best OC’s if i’m being honest and because of that, these were easy.

now, take a character i didn’t work on as much and suddenly it’s different

Annabelle (noise) never really talked about anything but school and shitting on Calum so, i mean, i guess i can think of what she’d do in a store but.. like, i’d have to think about it you know?

so to me, we can see the difference between a fully fledged OC and one that needs to be worked on.

but, Noise still got a lot of likes so i dunno, i’m just self critical i guess.

i think, when it comes to characters, everyone has flaws. Annabelle is too critical of Calum and has a stigma about wealth, Valentina… she’s flawless not gonna lie but she’s a little too afraid of stepping on other people’s toes and she should probably be less anxious, Birdie is way too sentimental and cries over everything, plus she’s way too trusting and naive at times.

it’s balance. but once a character is born in your brain, you just gotta give them love and hopefully others will as well :)

*****

The Meme Test

my most recent advice is: if you can meme a character or dynamic between characters, you know you’re gucci. imma leave a meme here for a fic i’m working on and ya’ll will have no clue what it means but whatever it’s a point

*****

so hopefully this has answered any questions you have. this is all just my opinion and if you disagree with what i’ve said thats chill. at the end of the day this is what works for me and i urge you to find what works for you. there’s no one clear way to write.

good luck writer bubs :)

#writing advice #writing tips #tips #advice

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youknowmymethods · 6 years ago

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Content Creator Interview #2

In this week’s interview, fandom friends @lilsherlockian1975 and @mrsmcrieff talk about whether they found Sherlock hot or not at first sight, how publicly sharing their work changed their writing, and the hardest thing about writing smutfic (pun fully intended).

And for those who don’t know, today is Lillian’s Birthday, so m’dear, Many Happy Returns!!!!

Hey, so Lilsherlockian1975 and myself, MrsMCrieff, have decided to interview each other for Aine’s challenge. We’re going to try to answer each other’s questions but there is always the danger of us going massively off piste. Our conversations in the past have been eclectic and very wide-ranging not to mention M rated.

Anyway, I thought we could start by saying how we came into the fandom and more than that writing in the fandom. Lil, do you want to start?

Lil: All right, my sister on another continent, here’s how it went: As I’ve explained about finding The Full House on Pinterest, let’s explore what came before that moment, then just after... I was working third shift at a hotel (I had to as Mr Lil and I didn’t really have any childcare options at the time, so we just worked opposite shifts). The hotel was in a very small town - we were never busy, some nights we sold maybe 2 rooms - I usually spent my time watching Netflix. After making my way through Doctor Who, Star Trek Next Gen, Voyager then (God help me) DS9, Farscape and Firefly, I’d finally run out of anything to watch. You’d be surprised how quickly you can burn through a series binge watching for 8 hours at a time (and getting paid for it!).

Then… then I found Sherlock. Well, that changed things… a bit.

“Good Lord, who is the Cumberstud chap and why won’t he have all the sex with me!?” was my first thought, my second was, “Maybe I have a chance with the dishy DI?” and third? “Oh… what fresh hell is this ‘Mycroft’? Yummy!” Then finally, “Ahh, did the casting director somehow read my diary? Creepy but… all right.” To my defense, it was late and I usually worked on very little sleep. Also, I’m a kinky bitch.

I’d never been involved in a ‘fandom proper’, I suppose. That’s not to say that I wasn’t a fangirl. I am and always have been. I was hugely into the Kevin Smith movies, going as far as visiting the Quick Stop and RST Video in Lenardo, NJ, respectively, as well as The Secret Stash, in Red Bank. I was a comic book geek in my youth, Marvel mostly, but some DC as well.

After reading The Full House, I desperately needed MORE Sherlock and luckily enough, there was more to be found.

At first I was just reading, then I wrote and posted a couple of (horrible) fics and met this fellow writer named MrsMCrieff (I might have had a little ‘writing crush’ on you, Mrs!). We chatted on FF.net and struck up a friendship.

So, for me, writing came before fandom. Mrs was doing some betaing for me, but I didn’t ask for help often; I hated bothering her all the time for the multitude of stories I was turning out. At some point around here, I got an elusive invite to AO3 from sherlockian87, bless her soul, because I kept trying to join and couldn’t get a blessed invitation. Also around this time, I had written a prompt and got a PM from MizJoely asking if she could fix some of my mistakes (she was very sweet about it, even though I totally flipped - half fangirling, half losing my shit because ‘Crap, I screwed up so bad, here was The MizJoely asking if she could edit out my mistakes!’) but she wasn’t being critical at all, of course, just helpful as I soon found out. Shortly after, now having formed a friendship with MIz, she suggested that I start a Tumblr blog. And that’s how it all started.

Yes, sorry… I, um, tend to be a tad loquacious. Writing out my answers doesn’t help one little bit.

Okay, Mrs, right back atcha!

Mrs: OK, shall I try to be more concise? I’ll probably fail as I’m terrible as writing short fics they always seem to end up spread over multiple chapters.

I’m another one who had always been a fangirl, Doctor Who, Buffy, Twilight, vampire Diaries (yeah, I love my vampires) but I’d also been a Sherlock Holmes fan. I’d read all the books in my teens, watched the Basil Rathbone and Jeremy Brett adaptations and even stayed at the Sherlock Holmes hotel on Baker St so when a new series was advertised it was an easy sale.

I was late to the cumberobsession though. I have to admit watching the first two series as they came out and I remember thinking I like them but it’s a shame Sherlock isn’t that hot. I know, I know, I’m embarrassed even as I write that.

It all changed after watching season 3 and I blame the Sherlolly kiss 100%. I watched the series, DELETED the records!! And then realised I was spending a lot of time thinking about Sherlock and Benedict...that turned into looking him up online and from there it was a short step to reading Sherlolly fics on fanfic (I was already reading fics for other shipping obsessions). Anyway, it didn’t take long before Sherlolly took over all my other ships and Benedict was my number one hottie.

As for writing, I hadn’t written anything fiction based since school and school was a long time ago...almost thirty years. But one day I was looking for a specific fic, I wanted to read about Sherlock and Molly having to share body heat and I just couldn’t find anything that satisfied me. I’m not sure why but in that moment I decided to write it myself and in half an hour I’d written Frozen...my first ever fic. It took another couple of hours to pluck up the courage to post it and I clearly remember feeling a bit sick and my hand shaking as I pressed the final button to post.

Thankfully, I almost immediately started to receive positive reviews and feedback and it wasn’t long before I started to write more...the rest as they say is history. Lil got in touch soon after and it was fun chatting to another writer just starting out. We soon found we were not dissimilar in age and both had two sons and the friendship started there.

We’ve been through quite a lot over the last few years Lil and written some fab stories. Wouldn’t you agree?

(I should let on that we are now faffing about trying to find the original list of questions...we are trying to be professional).

Ok Lil, so I’ve looked at Aine’s questions and they look really hard. Any preferences on which ones you want to answer :).

Lil: I think a great follow up to that first one is this: How did posting your first story change your process of writing? So I’m shooting it back to you, Mrs, and you can send me that one or select a new one for me. Tag, you’re it!

Mrs: I can tell you quite simply how it changed my process of writing...given that it was my first piece of writing in 30 years I was starting from scratch when it came to any process. One thing that I started with that’s held true for me ever since is that my stories are fully mapped out and written before I even start posting the first chapter. I will edit and make refinements but the bones of the story are there.

I know lots of people post a chapter and then write the next chapter but that would put me under too much pressure. The downside is that if someone gives me a prompt they could be waiting months before they see it posted. The upside is if I’ve started posting a fic you will get the end of it as it’s already been written.

There have only been two exceptions to this method: Sherlock Holmes, Vampire which I worked on over a year or so posting four chapters every so often as I wrote them...it was stressful. And the other is Never Have I Ever which was/is more of a collection of one shots woven together into a fic.

How about you Lil? How did it change for you?

Lil: So, I’d been writing little stories and whatnot for years and years but, having no idea that there was such a thing as ff.net or AO3, I had no place to put them. Writing was always a very, very distant dream of mine. I have loads of notebooks filled with stories, story ideas and my own personal ramblings (unfortunately, my Tumblr followers now have to read the ‘ramblings business’). I stopped for many years after my roommate/best friend since childhood found some of my writing in college that I’d carefully hidden under my bed. I came home to find her in my room, sat on the floor, on the phone with our Art History professor (whom she was sleeping with), as she read him my story and laughed hysterically at its awfulness.

I was devastated and vowed never to write again.

But that changed, of course. Those first maybe ten stories were just me letting my mind go and getting out what I wanted to say (aided by liberal amounts of wine). Since then, however, my ‘process’ has changed drastically. I don’t always write an outline (never for one shots, which I write often) but I generally do for long fics. If not, it’s easy for me to get lost and miss critical points. My writing has become more about ‘layering’ for lack of a better word.

I found after those first few posted fics, that in going back and re-reading them I wanted to make changes. I didn’t re-edit them (because I’m lazy), but it made me realize that my writing required more time and proofing before posting; that first draft is just the start for me - a thin layer of primer paint on a canvas, if you will. I then read over it and add more details and more and more until I get the desired effect. Again, much like oil painting, I have to build things up, layer by layer. This works for me; I have no idea if it’s a proper method of writing. So, posting my first fic(s) helped me learn that I shouldn’t be so trigger happy about posting if the story wasn’t ready.

Okay, Mrs, this one is geared specifically towards you. I don’t think anyone would argue with me about your supernatural ability to write ‘case fics’, so let me ask: Which do you prefer writing, case fics or fluffy smut-filled romps? And why?

Mrs: Oh God, ask me something easy why don’t you. Both, I like writing both. I love the depth of a case fic, the idea, the research, plotting it out and working out the characters and detail but it’s so time consuming and I often write a bit, leave it, come back to it etc. etc. so a detailed case fic can take six months.

Fluff on the other hand is less satisfying but quicker (my minds already in the gutter with an analogy).

Woohoo I kept is fairly short for once. So, here’s one that’s good for you. I’m endlessly envious of how easily you make friends and how you know so many people in the fandom whereas I’m the introverted hermit. Which other authors are you friends with, and how have they help you become a better writer?

Lil: Goodness! You make me sound like a social butterfly (Mr Lil calls me that all the time!). I like people, plain and simple. Other than you, I am close to MizJoely and Darnedchild, that’s no secret, so I’ll talk about them first (you included, because you’ve made me a better writer, I’m sure of it - have actual proof!)

I cannot count the ways Miz has helped me improve my writing. She figuratively took me by the ear and said “okay, you don’t suck but do you even know what a comma is used for?” No, not those actual words, she was much kinder about it, but I got the hidden meaning and I needed it, trust me. She also challenges me and is not afraid to be honest with me when I’ve written something that isn’t good or perhaps doesn’t fit. I know I’ve improved since she started betaing for me, like a 1000%. And Child… When I volunteered to beta for the Big Bang Challenge, I had no idea what I was getting into, but man… she’d written and enormous fic. Good, amazing really, but it was longer than anything I’d ever worked on before. It scared the shit out of me but I really think it was exactly what I needed. Betaing someone else’s work can really make you see your own mistakes from a new perspective. I feel like I jumped ahead after working on the BBC with Child. As for you, MrsMCrieff, just the other day I had The Best compliment… someone actually thought I was British! Yes, that happened. I can only attribute that little feat to you, my friend. You’ve taught me when to add a ‘u’, when not to zed and about many different terms like pavement, taps, hob, loo, trousers (we really don’t say that here!). Not to mention the fact that most European men aren’t circumcised. Who knew?! It’s pretty common in the US.

But that’s just a few. I cannot count the number of fandom friends who have helped me and all the ways that they’ve done so. That doesn’t mean I won’t try…

There’s likingthistoomuch who always listens to my ideas and encouraged me to post my first Harry Potter fic. OhAine has been a true friend from the very beginning, always insightful and supportive. Mellovesall who is just too sweet for words and always helps with edits, no matter what’s going on in her life. Kendrapendragon who let me bounce ideas for my Mirror Has Two Faces AU off of her for like a whole day! the-sapphiresky who has helped me with this historical AU that may or may not ever see the light of day. Allthebellsinvenice who answered about a dozen questions (over two years!) for Dig Down Deep when I’d panic about some D/s situation I’d written myself into. o0katiekins0o who backs me up when I’m in the middle of a sensitive subject. I can always depend on her to help me when I’m afraid I’m crossing a line. Broomclosetkink, Lord help me! She’s pinch hit for me when I’ve written a fic for Miz or if I just need a good laugh. She’s the best. Sweets… it’s very hard to talk about sweet-sweet-escape. I still cannot even bring myself read her stories or the ones I wrote for her without breaking down, but no one was more supportive or kind to me than Sweets. I miss her so much.

Then there’s all the love and support I received from everyone during The Fic That Shall Not Be Named debacle. That’s when I knew how much this fandom (well, this ship, really) had my back! I will never forget how much love and support I received. Bless you all!

I’m forgetting people and I hate that. But I really do love all my fandom friends as if I see them and hang out with them every day. I mean that.

Okay, Mrs, here’s one for you (I’m going back to the list for this one because I like it and I think it’s interesting): What’s the most difficult thing about writing characters of the opposite sex?

Mrs: See, see I said you knew loads of people!

As for your question that’s easy to answer...knowing what it feels like when they get aroused and orgasm. I’m more than happy being female but it would be kind of interesting just to be a guy for one day. It would improve my writing no end.

On a wider note when it comes to writing characters I don’t think any of us made it easy on ourselves when we decided to try to write being a high functioning sociopathic genius. I think I can speak for most of us when I say he’s not the easiest person to try to write authentically. I just wish I had half his knowledge then I wouldn’t feel like such an idiot when I’m writing him.

I gave my youngest son the option of any number between 1 and 40. He chose 7 so does writing energise or exhaust you?

Lil: It absolutely energises me! I do get frustrated trying to find time to write, but actually writing does amazing things for my mental and physical self. I find that I’m much more productive around the house when I’m in the middle of a writing jag. I’ll sit and write for a while, then get up and pound out some chores (usually more quickly as to get back to my computer). Somehow, this works for me. Frankly, it’s probably got to do with my ADHD. I’m the kind of person who needs to do multiple things at once. I’m the same at work; I cannot just stand behind the registrar for 8 hours. I practically beg my managers for extra work, which they’re happy to give me.

I have an original question for you, love: How does a bad review affect you?

Mrs: I’ll be honest I don’t react well to a bad review but it does depend on whether I think it’s valid or not. You probably know each and every time I’ve had one because I will probably have sent you a screen shot and asked your opinion. Thankfully they have been few and far between, occasionally they have made me think...especially if I’m being accused of using a tired old trope and I’ve made the effort to up my game in future fics but often they are just being nasty for the sake of it.

Writing is such a personal thing though, we give a piece of ourselves in each and every fic so it’s hard to not take criticism very personally.

Same question to you Lil.

Lil: Oh, I’m a giant baby about a bad review and have been known to take it very personally. At first I brood… like really hard, thinking on the entire thing much longer than necessary. I suppose it depends on the nature and tone, for the most part though. If it’s attacking and spiteful, I’ll attack right back but if it’s coming from a ‘goodish’ place, I do try to look at my writing a bit more objectively (I don’t always succeed). Anonymous bad reviews get to me the most. The fact that I cannot reply drives me up the wall!

Okay, we’re wrapping this up (else we could go on forever!) Thanks so much and a big thanks to Aine for organizing this as well!

Mrs & Lil

Next Week:

Posting on Friday 01 March it’s @ohaine ‘s turn (eek!) to interview @ashockinglackofsatin

#content creator interviews #lilsherlockian1975 #mrsmcrieff #sherlolly #sherlock #mentions of lemony goodness

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shestillhasherquill · 6 years ago

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At the Heart of Darkness (5/11)

I am so grateful for the whole team at @captainswanbigbang for keeping this event going. Man, are they organised!!

S/O to @sambethe for the amazing banner and her artwork for one of the chapters. Next week you're going to see one of my most favorite pieces that she has created, and I'm so excited to share it with you all. @downeystarkjr has made something too, for the next chapter, so it's gonna be a double whammy. The first video was just a teaser to what an amazing talent she is!! I don't think I have enough words to express how much I love them, and how lovely they are to work with.

Mags, aka @accio-ambition, has to put up with a lot from me. Thanks for checking up on me, baeeb.

I am so incredibly thankful to all those who like and reblog this fic. Thank you thank you thank you.

Summary: Killian Jones lives in the Land without Magic, with no memories of his family. Until Emma Swan comes into his life like a whirlwind, reminding about everything he had lost. He embarks on an adventure to destroy the Darkness, only to discover that Emma might not be telling him the whole story.

Rating: M

Content Warning: Mentions of Miscarriage, Angst, Gothel

Prologue: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 1: tumblr ao3 ff.net | Chapter 2: tumblr ao3 ff.net Chapter 3: tumblr ao3 ff.net

Current Chapter: ao3 ff.net

Chapter 4: That’s how the story goes

Killian sat at Emma’s bedside, flipping aimlessly through a magazine. She had drifted off a couple of hours ago. She had tried to fight it for the longest time as she spent the time teaching Killian card games that pirates in her - their? - land apparently played. He felt uneasy, hearing her talk about his other life, and yet he had no memories of it. When he’d asked Emma about getting them back, she had been quite vague, mumbling about how complex memory potions could be. He had let her be, not willing to push her when she was in the hospital. Besides, his lack of memories seemed to be a sore subject for her, and he did not wish to make her feel worse. He had a feeling that if she had a solution, Emma would have told him by now. He felt like he could trust her, and he was going to listen to his gut.

The only thing that threw him off was her admission that he - or his other self - did not have a daughter. He had been so certain that Alice was been real. Maybe the woman from his dreams wasn’t Emma either, maybe he just thought it was her. But it did not make any sense. It had been a very long day, and he needed to rest as well.

Emma seemed quite determined to leave the hospital and go back to this Enchanted Forest place as soon as she was well. Which meant that he had to make arrangements for postponing his book tour with Will. Luckily, he had only a couple of cities left on the roster and he was certain Will would accommodate. He would very likely bitch about it and demand an explanation, but he would make it happen.

He saw Emma shift in his periphery, drawing his attention back to her. He saw the soft smile that adorned her face, her brow smooth of worry lines. Her hand was curled near her cheek, her eyelashes leaving long shadows. She looked incredibly beautiful like this; he couldn’t believe that there was a version of him who actually got to be with her. Emma never told him outright, but no matter how much he was still the same person, just with different memories, she did not see him in that way. He could tell it from the way she looked at him - as if she was waiting for him to turn into the man she remembered and was left disappointed. These thoughts did not seem to help his mood, his heart feeling a sharp sting of rejection, no matter how irrational it was.

For he only had the memories of his version of Killian Jones - not a pirate or a whatever he was to Emma Swan. This Killian had never had anyone love him, never had someone risking their life for him. Was it insane to be jealous of himself? He shook his head to clear the thoughts, pulling out his phone from his pocket and walking out of Emma’s room.

It took a couple of rings, but Will eventually picked up, his voice groggy. “Jones, do you have any idea how late it is?” the man grumbled. Killian could hear him shuffling and a whisper before Will spoke again. “You better have a good reason for calling so late. My girlfriend is not happy.”

Killian winced. He knew that Allison, Will’s girlfriend, worked late shifts at the hospital. Maybe he should have waited until morning. Nevertheless, he had Will on the phone now. Might as well get to it. “My apologies, mate. I wouldn’t have called it wasn’t urgent.”

“What’s wrong?” Will sounded more alert now. “Is everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah,” Killian started dismissively, but rethought his tactic. “Alright, maybe not everything. You remember Emma, from earlier today?”

Will took such a long time to answer him, Killian worried that the call was disconnected. “Yeah, what about her?” Will asked, his tone slow. He could practically hear Will’s skepticism and he hadn’t even told him anything.

“Alright. So, she - she had some information about my past. About stuff I didn’t know.” Killian took in a deep breath. He had the perfect story figured out, and he just had to execute it. It wasn’t as easy as he had thought it would be to lie to his best friend, however. “She had some information about my parents,” he rushed out, continuing before Will had a chance to interrupt him. “Look, mate. I need to take off - I can’t finish the book tour. I have just two more cities left, and I promise I will reschedule them. But right now, I need to go.”

Killian could hear Will’s sharp release of breath. “Why?”

“What do you mean, ‘why’?” Killian was confused. He had expected Will to be angry or shout at him. But he sounded almost calm.

“Yeah, uh-huh. She found your parents? Bullshit. Why are you lying to me, Killian?” Will demanded, his voice raising. “You told me you didn’t know your parents, that the only family you had was a brother who died. What, do you so desperately want to get out of promoting your own book?”

“It’s not like that,” Killian sighed, sliding down a wall once he realised the corridor was empty. “But you’re right. I’m lying, and for that I’m sorry.”

“What’s the real reason then?”

“You wouldn’t believe me, Will.” Killian rubbed his hand tiredly against his forehead. “I just need you to trust me. I’ve always cooperated with your ideas for the book, for the PR. I let you take the reins every time because I trust you. These books, these stories - they are important to me, Will.”

“Why do you sound like you’re planning on throwing it all away?” Will whispered. “What is going on, Killian?”

“Will, please-”

“What did she tell you that was so bad?”

“It’s not bad, Will. She really did tell me about my past. I just need some time to process it, and I need to go with her.”

“Alright, alright. Fine - let’s say I believe you. Where the hell are you going?” When Killian remained silent, Will scoffed loudly. “Unbelievable. I’m coming over right now. Something is not right.”

“I’m not at home. I’m at St. Joseph’s,” Killian replied, almost reluctantly. He did not want Will coming here, but that seemed like the only way Killian would be able to convince his friend.

Killian heard some rustling and the sound of Will’s keys. “I’ll be there in 10. You stay put, Jones.”

-/-

Enchanted Forest: 21 years ago

Alice coughed loudly, her little, cherub face scrunched up at the phlegm she spat into the bucket Killian had placed at her bedside. “Oh, Starfish,” Killian murmured, rubbing her back to comfort her. Alice whimpered, her forehead beaded with fever sweat and her body weak as she fell back on bed.

“Here, I fetched some more cold water,” Emma said, rushing into the room with a pail and several washcloths hung on the side. “Has her fever subsided at all?” she whispered, sitting on the side opposite Killian’s taking Alice’s hand in hers. The child was still extremely hot to touch, making Emma’s concern heighten.

“No,” Killian replied, his voice hoarse. He was struggling not to cry, knowing that would help no one. He was just so helpless, not knowing what he could possibly do to relieve his child’s distress.

Alice had been fine a few days ago, apart from complaining of being tired. And then she started coughing, the frequency increasing rapidly. Two days ago, she had come down with a fever overnight. Killian had woken in the middle of the night and just happened to check up on Alice, only to find her trembling in her sleep, mumbling unintelligibly. He had panicked when he realised that she was burning up. Both he and Emma have been trying everything from a cold compress to herbal remedies to help Alice get better, but nothing seemed to work.

Emma’s magic had help at first, and they had both thought that that would be it - but since then, Alice had only become worse. The little girl could barely remain conscious, and her coughing fits were getting much too violent for her small body to handle.

“I don’t know what else to do!” Killian cried, brushing Alice’s damp curls away from her face. “What can I do?” he asked. He wasn’t certain to whom, but at this point, anyone who was willing to answer him.

“Killian, I think you need to fetch a healer,” Emma suggested. Alice rolled into Emma’s side, her small hand clutching at Emma’s tunic with all her might. Emma pulled Alice closer, hoping to provide Alice with some warmth.

“I can’t leave her,” he snapped, drenching a cloth in the water Emma had brought and squeezing out the excess water before placing on his daughter’s forehead. “That is not up for discussion,” he growled out, refusing to lift his gaze from Alice. He did not want Emma to see his tears, to think him weak. He needed to be strong.

He softly kept brushing Alice’s hair, but his actions were stopped by Emma’s touch on his arm. “Killian, we are out of options here. I would go, in a heartbeat. But in case she gets worse, she will need my magic,” Emma reasoned.

No matter how much he had grown to trust Emma, this was something he could not do. He couldn’t leave Alice now. She needed him.

“Alice needs me,” he argued, but even he could see that there had to be a greater reason for him to make Emma go.

“Killian, right now, she needs you to help her in a way only you can. You know the area better, you know where to find the healer. I know you don’t want to leave Alice, but trust me to keep her safe. I’ll do everything I can to make sure her condition doesn’t worsen.” Emma looked at him imploringly, her eyes refusing to leave his. He could see Emma meant every word: she really would do anything for Alice. He needed to do the right thing, no matter how much he did not want to leave Alice’s side.

“Alright, I’ll be back by nightfall. Promise me you would do everything in your power - and I mean everything - to keep my girl safe.”

Emma squeezed his arm in reassurance. “I will. Now go, and hurry back.”

Killian nodded, brushing a quick kiss to Alice’s forehead, and leaving her reluctantly. He was certain that Emma would take good care of Alice. He had left his child in her company enough times in the past months to know her, to trust her. But he was a father, and he had never felt so helpless before.

With one last look at Alice’s now prone form, he started scaling down the tower.

-/-

Present day: Land without Magic

Killian paced up and down the hospital corridor, keeping a close eye on Emma. She seemed to still be sleeping; however, he did not want to leave her alone for too long. She was in this position because of him. He could hardly believe that she had done something like that - taken out her own heart - just to get him to believe her. He wasn’t certain he could go down the same route with Will.

He was brought out of his thoughts by Will calling out his name, walking toward him with purpose. Killian prepared himself for the conversation he was about to have. He had still not made up his mind about how honest he was going to be with Will, about Emma and the things she had told him.

“Hey, mate.”

Will nodded in greeting, his eyes shifting to Emma’s room before turning to Killian. “How is she doing?” he asked grimly.

“She seems fine now, but the doctors want to run some tests.”

“What even happened?” Will asked, taking a seat on the chairs that lined the corridor.

Killian took the one next to Will, shaking his head. “I’ve no clue, mate. She seemed fine one minute, and then she was finding it hard to breathe and asked me to bring her here. Apparently she’d had heart surgery not too long ago.” Will nodded, but Killian could tell he wanted say something more. “Mate, just come out and say whatever it is that you want to say.”

“I just want an explanation, Killian. You cannot expect me to just be alright with you picking up your life and following this strange woman to...wherever,” Will sputtered, clearly frustrated.

“Will, it’s not like that. She’s - it’s complicated with Emma.”

“Killian, you just met the woman!” Will cried out. Killian could see his friend’s exasperation, and was at a loss for how he could explain all of this to Will.

“I know, I did just meet her. But there’s more to this than you think. I just don’t know if you will believe me. You’re going to think I’m crazy.”

“I already do, mate. You might as well just lay it on me,” Will half-joked. But he seemed willing to listen, and Killian had to take the chance.

“Alright. In a way, you’re right. I don’t know Emma. But I know her - or a part of me does anyway. Do you remember how you found me twenty years ago? Drunk and alone and passed out, with no memory of how I got there?”

“Yeah - what does that have to do with Emma?”

“Well, according to Emma, it was twenty years ago that I came here from another realm, called the Enchanted Forest. She claimed that I was a pirate captain in another life, and that when I came to this land - she calls it the land without magic - I did not have all my memories. And the ones that I did have, they were modified to fit this world.” Killian paused, waiting with bated breath for Will to react.

Will looked understandably concerned, his eyebrows pulled together into a deep frown. “Killian, that is absurd. You write about pirate captains, that doesn’t make you one.”

“Will, what if the adventures I have written about were simply my own forgotten memories?” Killian pressed. “I know this is hard for you to believe. It was for me too. But I am not lying to you.”

“So, what? You suddenly have your memories back and you’re leaving to this Enchanted Forest?” Will exploded, jumping up from his seat. He started to pace back and forth in front of Killian. “Look, you can tell me if you’ve fallen off the wagon, alright? I can get you the help you need. But this? Lying? Coming up with these - these stories?! That is insane, Killian!”

Killian rose as well, angered by Will’s accusations. “Watch yourself, Sanders. You do not need to believe me, but you have no right to throw around such allegations,” he growled.

“You’re not drinking again?” Will asked, his tone much softer, almost confused.

“No. I would never, you know that. You know me better than that.” Killian still felt on edge, his hand fisted at his side. He let out a deep breath, forcing his muscles to relax. “Will, you’ve known me for years now. You must have wondered too, why I look the same, even after all these years. I should be well into my 50s, and I don’t look a day over 35, mate. What Emma said, it makes sense. My world had felt off-kilter for years, and from the moment I met her, it feels like it’s almost back in the right place. It’s more than a feeling, Will. It’s instinct, like a part of me that has been hidden for all this time is being brought forth.”

Will sighed, almost resigned. He remained silent for so long, Killian was certain that Will thought him insane. “I always thought you just dyed your hair,” he mumbled finally.

Killian looked at him in confusion, but it dawned on him a moment later. He chuckled, “Turns out, I’m an all powerful immortal being.”

“Huh.”

“What?”

“Nothing. I just need a moment to wrap my head around all this.”

“But you believe me?” Killian asked hopefully.

“It’s a lot that you’re expecting me to believe….but, I - I think I do,” Will confessed. “Like I said, I might need a moment. But if this is what you believe, and if pushing the tour back and going on adventures is what you need - I can make that happen.”

Killian felt a swell of gratitude for his friend, and couldn’t help but hug him tight. “Thank you, mate.”

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

It took Killian precious time to reach the stables. At first, he had stabled his horse at the base of the tower, but it made far too much trouble, just to feed and water it. He had finally decided to get Maximus housed at a proper stable, with stable boys around to tend to him. Back then, a short trek to the stables had not been an issue for him, but in his hurry to get to the healer and back to Alice, every second of delay was excruciating. He would have foregone the horse if he didn’t have to bring the healer back with him.

Killian let out a sigh of relief when he finally reached the stables, quickly preparing Maximus for the ride. Unfortunately, Maximus seemed quite agitated having been woken in a flurry. “Here, boy-o. Here,” he soothed his steed, feeding him an apple. “We need to hurry for little Alice. You remember her? I’ve told you so many tales, huh?” he whispered. When Maximus had calmed down sufficiently, Killian hopped over the horse’s back and guided him from the stables.

Killian kicked his heel lightly against Maximus’ flank, sending him into a swift gallop. They practically flew through the forest, both man and beast well equipped in navigating in the dark. There was not a single moment where Killian stopped worrying about Alice; how could he when his little girl was suffering? These kind of illnesses, ones that creeped up on people…those acted quickly, and they acted smart. He should have gotten a healer to Alice at the first instance of her falling ill. He had falsely assumed it to be a minor issue, not unlike the other times she had been sick.

How could he have been such a fool? His own mother, his daughter’s namesake, had perished from a similar illness. He’d be damned if something were to happen to his Alice; he had lived more than his fair share of lifetimes, but it was for Alice that he had given everything up. Hell, Alice was his everything. He refuses to lose her.

He pushed Maximus to go faster, his own heart racing in fear for his child. I’ll pay any price, just let her live, he prayed, riding forth, even as tears pricked his eyes.

-/-

Emma felt Alice’s forehead again, her shoulders sagging in disappointment when she found that the girl was still burning up. Alice was asleep now, but it was not a peaceful sleep. Emma watched helplessly as Alice whimpered and called out to her ‘Papa’, a few tears leaking out the corners of her closed eyes. Emma had not let go of Alice’s hand for even a single moment since Killian left. It was mostly for comfort, but she had been constantly sending pulses of her magic through Alice, in hopes that it would help keep her stable, if not improve her condition. Emma had seen something like this once, when Regina’s father had become sick. Ser Henry did not survive the week, and Emma could not let that happen to this little girl.

Regina’s father had been a much older man, and Alice was a healthy girl. She had read a book on physiology that spoke of how children had better chances of surviving illness due to something called an immune system. In moments of crisis, where her magic did not seem to work, Emma had turned quite often to the other sciences, understanding their logic and usefulness. She only hoped that the combination of her light magic, and whatever medicines they had given Alice so far worked, at least until the healer arrived.

Unfortunately, Emma was not certain she would be able to hold on much longer. She could already sense how weak she had become over the past hour, her magic draining steadily from her with no break. But until she absolutely could not, Emma would not stop. Helpless to do anything else, Emma gazed softly at Alice, her heart swelling with affection and concern for the little girl.

Emma had tried very hard not to grow attached to Alice and Killian, but from the time Killian had told her that she was a part of this family, she found it impossible not to. Especially when she had heard the truth about Alice’s mother. What kind of a person would abandon their own child like that? she thought, in disgust. Emma made a silent promise to never allow that woman near Alice.

-/-

Present Day: Land without magic

“What’s the verdict doc? How is she doing?” Killian asked, unable to sit still from the moment Dr. Altman walked in to the room. Emma couldn’t resist rolling her eyes; they had poked, prodded, and hooked her up to machines all morning. In all her years, she had never hated getting treated for an illness before. And while Killian’s concern was charming, it was grating on her nerves quite a bit.

She knew that they will not find anything medically wrong with her. Her heart was giving out because she had used too much of her magic in the Land without Magic. She pushed her body to heal faster with an unstable element. The only way for her to fully heal was to get back to the Enchanted Forest. She had been hasty to reunite with Killian, and she was paying the consequences.

“Everything seems fine,” Dr. Atlman declared, her tone laced with confusion, as if she could not believe what she was saying herself.

“I told you.” Emma could not help shooting her doctor a smug grin. Pfft, she thought. These healers wouldn’t know magical ailments if it hit them in the face.

“Are you certain?” Killian asked, ignoring Emma. “She’s alright? Nothing medically wrong?”

“Not that I can see, Mr. Jones. In fact, I ran the tests twice. No anomalies.”

Killian’s shoulders sagged in relief, turning to Emma with a giant grin. Emma was touched: this may not be her Killian Jones, but underneath his false memories, he was still the man that she fell in love with. It was unfair of her to keep his memories from him.But she had to. That was the only way she could make him focus on their mission. Her and Alice had worked too hard, and sacrificed too much to let anything hold them back from saving Killian.

The moment they returned to the Enchanted Forest, his magic would be activated. So would his darker impulses. If he found out that Emma had lied to him about Alice, and kept her disappearance from him….She could not fathom what he would do.

Emma shook herself from the dark direction of her thoughts, instead focusing on what Killian was saying.

“-will get your discharge paperwork, Emma. Don’t worry.” He smiled, oblivious to her lack of attention. When he moved to leave, Emma stopped him with a hand on his shoulder.

“Killian, we need to leave this realm and go back home, as soon as possible.”

“I know, Swan,” he assured. A shiver ran up her spine when he said that. It had been years - decades really - since he’d had called her that. Emma bit her lip, watching as he walked out of the room. It took everything in her not to kiss him, to wake him up and bring her Killian back, consequences be damned.

But she just had to be patient. Once the Darkness was taken care of, she would make sure he knew everything. And they would save Alice from Gothel’s clutches. Emma could not let that evil bitch get her hands on the Dark One’s dagger, not when she intended to erase all of human race with it.

They never should have believed her in the first place.

-/-

21 years ago: Enchanted Forest

It took a lot of convincing from Killian, in addition to a hefty bag of silver doubloons, before the healer agreed to come with him back to the tower. Madam Adeline insisted on riding on her own horse, reassuring Killian that despite her age, she would be able to keep pace with him and Maximus on her own steed.

They sped to the tower, Killian’s nerves frazzled from both worry and lack of sleep. He barely noticed the rising sun on the horizon, pushing Maximus to go faster. When he had the time, after Alice was all better, he was going to ensure his steed got a proper treat, perhaps even a groomer.

“We’re here,” he exclaimed, dismounting and landing on his feet. He helped Madam Adeline off her own horse, hoisting her bag of medicinal supplies over his shoulder, ready to being his climb up the tower.

“How am I to get up there, boy?” Madam Adeline demanded, her hands on her hips and head tilted up to look at the tower.

That stopped him short. He had no way of getting the old woman up, nor a way to bring Alice down. If only he had a magical staircase….

“Magic,” he murmured, an idea forming in his head. “Emma!” he called out, his voice bellowing in the silent woods.

“Killian?” Emma popped her head out of the large window, her hair a curtain around her face. “You’re back!”

“Aye! Could you use your magic and transport Madam Adeline and me up the tower?” Killian was certain she would not refuse, and he was right. Emma replied in affirmative almost immediately. A white cloud enveloped them moments later, like a warm embrace; both he and Madam Adeline were standing at Alice’s bedside before they could blink.

Madam Adeline did not appear fazed at the display of magic, and instead took a seat next to Alice, checking her pulse and murmuring softly to herself. Killian watched as Emma moved to the corner.

“How is she doing?” Killian asked, dropping Madam Adeline’s bag and kneeling at Alice’s side, taking her hand in his own.

“She seems to be a bit better now, stable at least,” Emma whispered, watching from the corner as Madam Adeline assessed Alice’s condition. “Is Alice going to be alright, ma’am?” she directed to the healer.

“I’ll do my best, dear,” the older woman promised. “She seems to have had a little extra help, no?” she asked, shooting Emma a conspicuous look.

Killian’s brows pulled together, bemused at Madam Adeline’s comment. He turned to Emma inquisitively, but she simply shook her head. He would ask her about it later, once Alice was deemed fine by Madam Adeline.

Every moment of the hour it took Madam Adeline to diagnose Alice was agonising. Killian watched with rapt attention, never leaving Alice’s side, as the healer mixed herbs and potions, with Emma assisting her when Madam requested it. She applied a poultice to his girl’s forehead; Killian could not find a word to describe the relief he felt when he noticed Alice’s expression changing from agitation to something resembling serene.

“Prop the child up, lad,” she instructed, and Killian was quick to follow. He gently lifted Alice, propping her against his chest. His heartstrings pulled when she remained limp in his arms, so tiny and fragile, her skin still pale and clammy to touch. Madam Adeline delicately worked Alice’s mouth open, pouring a measure of a potion into her mouth.

Killian waited with bated breath for something to change, and while it was not instantaneous, Alice’s sweating ceased soon after. Both he and Emma let out a sigh of relief at the chance of allowing Alice to have a proper night’s sleep.

“Your child has a rare case of a fever that usually is from a lack of exposure to the sun,” Madam Adeline explained softly. “It’s often hard to diagnose, but quite easy to treat. Unfortunately, most people pass it off as a fever. It can have drastic consequences. You did right by coming to fetch me, lad.” She handed a large vial of the potion she had fed Alice, and a container of the paste the poultice was made out of to Killian, giving him the instructions for their use. “But the best medicine would be to get the girl more sun. She is as pale as the moon, that one!”

Killian’s jaw clenched, both in helplessness and in anger. Yet another reason I need to break the bloody spell, he thought. Almost as if she sensed his darkening mood, Emma reached for his hand, lacing her fingers through his and squeezing gently, as if to remind him that he was no longer alone in his pursuit to free Alice. He turned to her with a smile, but his expression soon soured as he got a good look at Emma.

She looked white as a sheet, her eyes sunken and gaze weak, as if she could not focus her sight properly. Her grip, light as it was, slackened and her brows furrowed. She blinked a time or two, worrying Killian. “Swan?” he asked, waving his hook in front of her when she did not respond.

“Dear, is everything alright with you?” Madam Adeline asked, all the while reaching for Emma’s wrist to check her pulse.

“Yes. I - I feel fine.” Emma waved their concern away; however, her words and actions seemed to contradict each other, when she swayed in her spot. Killian was quick to steady her with an arm around her waist.

“Like bloody hell you are,” he growled, his worry escalating.

“Her pulse is very weak,” Madam Adeline added. “She must have over-exerted herself.”

Killian was about to ask what the woman was harking about when Emma leaned heavily on him. “Swan?” He turned his neck to look at her, alarmed at her closed eyes and slack expression.

“Hmm?”

“Love, look at me. Hey, Swan?” Her eyes fluttered open, as if waking from sleep. “What’s wrong?” he asked, not able to hide the panic from his voice.

Whatever Emma had to say, she did not get to; her eyes fell shut and her knees seemed to buckle right underneath her. If Killian had not caught her, she would have crumpled to the ground.

“Emma!” he exclaimed, carrying her to her bed and laying her down. “Swan?” He patted her cheek, trying in vain to wake her. “What is wrong with her?” he demanded, his tone sharp and cutting.

Madam did not seem rattled by his harshness, quietly examining Emma. “She’s just worn out, lad.” Her voice was warm, almost soothing. “She seemed to be quite the magical one, doesn’t she?”

“What does that have to do with anything?” he snapped.

“She must have channeled all her magic through your child. Alice would not have survived the night without it.” Madam Adeline pressed her palm to Emma’s forehead, murmuring, “Poor child. She must have exhausted herself. It could be very bad for the lass.”

Killian’s eyes widened at the healer’s implication. He felt the guilt build up in his chest. He knew Emma cared for Alice, but for her to go so far… It was unfathomable. She loved Alice, like she was Emma’s own blood. She had been ready to deplete her own magic to save his child; how could he ever repay her kindness?

“Is she going to be fine?” he asked in a whisper, eyes never straying from Emma’s prone form.

“Aye. She will be fine, eventually. Just ensure she never does something like that again,” Madam Adeline warned. “Light magic is unlike others. It’s a part of her, just like her flesh, blood, and bones. Overusing it would hurt her, physically. It could weaken her heart or her mind. It could leave her powerless for a while. Any number of problems. Her magic, it’s not limitless, and pushing the limits might be fatal.”

Killian’s breath hitched when he heard that, his heart feeling tight in his chest. In such a short time, Emma had ingrained herself in his and Alice’s life - she was truly a part of his family. Something like that happening to her was inconceivable. He hesitated, before he pressed a feather light kiss to Emma’s forehead. He could have sworn he saw her fingers move then, but she made no other movement, and he convinced himself that he imagined it.

-/-

Present day: Land without magic

“You ready to leave?” Killian asked, popping his head through the door.

Emma looked away from the conversation she had been having with Will, smiling at Killian. “Yes, quite. I’ve come to dislike hospitals,” she complained. Both men chuckled, before they left the room, allowing her to get ready.

Emma had been surprised when she found out that Killian had told his friend the truth, but she understood where he came from. She should have expected it, of course. She knew that he had to have had an actual life these past twenty years. She had been dreading finding out that he had found a love in this realm, tortured herself with the thought. But it was at moments like this where she would feel his loneliness the most, echoing her own heartache. As much as it wreaked havoc on her heart, it was a welcome pain - it was reminder that her love was waiting for her, and for Alice. It was a reminder of what she had to fight for. She had spent all her sleepless nights replaying her memories with him. Unfortunately, while linking her life to his froze her body from aging, it did not freeze her memories.

She could remember those nights when she felt his strongest emotions, but not remember what his voice sounded like. It was awful; she lived her life in halves - half a heart, half her memories. Alice was her solace; in her efforts to keep Killian alive for the girl, she forced herself to remember him. To never allow his child wonder about how much Killian loved her. It was only on her worst days that she hated her memories, and hated him for not having his.

But once he got his memories back, he would remember two lives. Two truths, two paths. Two different and yet very similar people. For that, she did not envy him. For now, she was simply glad that he was not truly alone. That he had Will by his side, even if it was not constantly. He had someone to worry about him, who could do something about it.

Emma sniffled loudly, wiping at the few tears that managed to slip down her face. She needed to stop with these bouts of self-pity, misery, and longing. That did not a healthy combination make. There was a bigger picture for her to bear in mind: destroy the darkest force in all the realms, stop an evil bitch from ruining said destruction, and rescue a sweet little girl from the clutches of the aforementioned bitch.

Emma sighed, checking her reflection. There was not much she could do to make it appear as though she had not spent the night in the hospital. She did look a tad pale, however. That was quite worrisome. She had assumed they had more time until she became ill; but fortunately, Killian seemed willing to leave with her. They simply had to hurry. She just needed to add that to the ever-growing list of concerns.

“Emma? You about done in there, love?” Killian called out, breaking Emma away from her spiraling thoughts.

Emma huffed, pinching her cheeks to bring some colour to them before opening the door. She groaned when she spied the wheelchair Killian had brought with him. “I have two perfectly capable legs that can walk me out, Killian. There is no need for this contraption.”

“Yes, that may be so. But I would feel better, so come on, Swan. Hop on.” There it was again. He called her ‘Swan’.

When she had chosen a last name for herself in this realm, she had not wanted to be presumptuous and go with Jones. She opted for something that had been close to her heart, though. Her Killian loved calling her that - a name for her that was all his, he used to say.

She had never been able to resist him when he used it then, and she wasn’t now. “Alright,” she indulged, rolling her eyes. “Where’s Will?” she asked, when she noticed the absence of the other man.

“He had to get back home. Unlike me, he actually has a job that requires him to go everyday to the office.”

Emma nodded, half listening as he spoke of Will’s girlfriend. She had to tell him about her magic, if she wanted to get him to leave for their journey back immediately. Luckily, once they got back to the Enchanted Forest, reaching Merlin’s abode would take only a day or two’s journey by foot. She just had to retrieve the Dark One’s dagger from where she had hidden it.

“Emma? Where did you go off to?” Killian asked. She really must learn not to get too lost in her thoughts around him.

“Nowhere. I’m right here.” Perhaps it was the words she had said, or even the way she had said it, but Killian’s expression softened into something that was heartwarming, a swell of attraction brewing at her gut for this man. This version of Killian Jones, a little lost, a little broken, but ultimately a good-hearted man who believed her and willing to follow her into inconceivable danger.

“Yeah. Yeah, you are.” He looked like he wanted to say more, but he just bit his lip and helped her into the vehicle that had been waiting for her. “Let’s go home.”

“Home,” she intoned. She turned her face to the window, pretending to look at the building, hoping it served enough to hide her tears.

-/-

Gothel had been in the Land without Magic for the past three years, waiting patiently for Emma Swan to arrive. That wretched blonde might think she knew everything, but even she would not be able to predict Mother Gothel’s next move. She had all the opportunity to approach Killian in the years she had been in the Land without Magic. She had even led Emma to believe that she was after him when she had attacked her in the alley. She simply needed Emma to lead her straight to the dagger; then she could finally reunite with her Coven. They would harness the power of the Darkness, control it, and lay waste to all those who wronged them. The Dark One would be the least of their worries then.

Gothel smiled, tracing the flowers etched into the glass coffin her dear daughter was slumbering in. Soon, she would be the master of the darkest force in all the realms; not even the most powerful light magic could stop her then.

“I will wake you up soon, my dear,” she whispered, her breath fogging up the glass. “You will help me attain my destiny, Alice. You will see soon enough for yourself how weak humans are.”

#cs ff #csbb #knightrook #cs angst

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stopforamoment · 6 years ago

Text

Part Three: Admit (Series 20, Part 3 of 5)

Series Twenty: Cracked (Five Parts) Part Three: Admit (Series 20, Part 3 of 5) My masterlist is at the end of my bio.

Book: The Royal Romance (After Book Three) Pairing: Bastien Lykel x OC Rinda Parks Word Count: 1,208 Rating: M for Language

Author’s Note: Obligatory disclaimer that Pixelberry Studios owns the TRR characters and my pocketbook with those darn diamond scenes. OFC with all of her quirks is all mine. My apologies if Tumblr or I do something stupid when I try to post this. The keep reading link shows up on my laptop but not my phone. Ugh. Thank you @asherella-is-a-dork-3 and @bobasheebaby for always being my sounding board! Thank you @cora-nova @silviasutton1989 @riseandshinelittleblossom for being my thirsty Bastien friends and for still being a part of the journey! Series Summary: This is a little transition to give some more background on Rinda’s unhealthy methods of coping with relationship cracks. It’s also meant to help give Rinda a push in the right direction with her healing process (remember, she lies and says she’s fine, but she holds onto things), and the next few series will go more in-depth with that.

Chapter Summary: Nadia calls Rinda out on her manipulative testing people bullshit.

Part Three: Admit

“Nadia, how was the rest of the conference?”

Nadia chuckled. “Can you imagine that shit? Having us come in for three hours of the guest note speaker’s droning, boring panel presentation options, and feedback focus groups that could easily be done with an online survey. Ridiculous. When I got up I decided I wanted a Bloody Mary more than I wanted to spend another moment in that fucking conference room. So I had a little chat with Siri about the best Bloody Marys in town, and here we are. But why aren’t you there?” She grinned at Bastien. “I knew Rinda would blow it off to sleep in, but I thought you’d be there for sure. I bet you were the child who was too afraid to skip school or get into trouble.” She leaned closer, a devilish gleam in her eyes. “Or were you the child who was too clever to get caught?” Bastien grinned but said nothing. . . . . .

“Rinda, I have to make a confession. I don’t know what you and Bastien were fighting about, but I have to say that I’m probably Team Bastien.” Rinda shook her head. “Way to lead in with that one. And now that we’re discussing it, what the hell? You’ve known me for over 10 years but you’ve only known Bastien a couple days?” “Exactly. I know you. Which means that I know how hard it must have been to let someone into your life after Jameson died. I know how you always used your wedding ring as a way to protect yourself, but you aren’t wearing a ring right now. Bastien told me that you don’t want to be wearing a ring for the second anniversary, which means you’re trying to be independent and Bastien is supportive of that. But it also means it was a really big fucking deal when you took off Jameson’s ring, and you didn’t take it off until you met Bastien. I don’t need to know him that well because I know you. And I trust your judgement.” Nadia kept her voice low, knowing Rinda would shut down if she raised it. “But I also know that you’re an absolute bitch when you’re pissed, and I don’t want you to fuck up what you have with him.” Bastien looked at Nadia in shock. He wasn’t expecting her to take his side like that. “Nadia, thank you. But I really did fuck up yesterday. I did something cruel that hurt Rinda and she forgave me, but there is so much I need to do to win her trust again. And she deserves all the time she needs.” He turned to Rinda. “And I understand if you are never able to fully get over it, and if things are never the same.” Rinda shook her head. “I don’t want that. I don’t ever want that—where something is so bad that it hangs over us.” Nadia held Rinda’s hands. “But you do it anyways. You don’t want your parents’ disaster of a marriage, yet you fall back to that behavior when you can’t handle a situation.” Rinda’s body was trembling, knowing Nadia was right, but she was also shaking her head. “When you say something. Do something. Even when it’s an accident. It can’t be taken back. It causes a crack in the relationship, and that crack just gets bigger until the whole thing shatters.” “Tria, that’s how the light gets in.” Rinda’s face paled and Nadia stopped mid-drink, staring at Bastien. “What did you just say?” Bastien blushed. “I’m sorry. It’s part of a song by Leonard Cohen:

Ring the bells that still can ring forget your perfect offering there is a crack in everything that's how the light gets in.”

Nadia leaned back and shook her head. “You live a charmed life that’s full of bullshit, Rinda. I can’t believe there is a god who panders to your serendipity miracle delusions as much as yours does.” Bastien was thoroughly confused, so he said nothing. Nadia turned to him. “Rinda’s tests. She has these stupid tests, as if the fate of a relationship or anything meaningful in life can be based on the answer to a test. If the cute police officer opens the door for me at the post office, he’s the one. If he calls me while I’m doing the walk of shame the next morning, he’s the one.” Nadia sighed. “And of course, Jameson passed every fucking one of those little tests. I know those tests tie in with qualities you’re looking for in a person, but no one can pass every stupid test like that. I’m sorry, Rinda. My Flying Spaghetti Monster was never that obvious with me and Kathleen. You can’t use these tests as signs from god or to make major decisions. What was your test for Bastien? Did he pass?” Rinda winced. “He needed to show me that he was willing to cherish and respect me again. I needed him to ask if he could cuddle with me, and he did ask.” Rinda was turning scarlet, realizing how stupid that sounded when she said it out loud. She didn’t even need to see Nadia’s look of utter disbelief to her or Nadia’s apologetic head shake to Bastien. She looked back at Rinda and twirled her finger next to her temple to signal that she thought Rinda was cuckoo crazy.

“And if he wouldn’t have asked?” Rinda shrugged. “I don’t know. I would have felt sad that he didn’t know what I needed from him to make it better.” “Because he’s not a mind reader? And if he failed the test would mean you needed to punish one of the most important people in your life? Or walk away from him? Rinda, would you ever do that to Henry?” “No, never” Rinda hissed. “Then don’t do it to the man who loves the two of you more than anything else in this world. And don’t do it to yourself.” She lowered her voice, but Bastien could still hear her. “Don’t punish yourself for falling in love again. I’m sure you were waiting for some sign from Jameson before you were able to take off your wedding ring. It must have happened. And Bastien fucking adores you. You’re getting a second chance at love, Rinda. Don’t fuck this up.” Now she looked at Bastien. “I expect you to call me if she pulls this bullshit again. Whatever you did to hurt her, she has no right making you pass those stupid tests she creates in her head.” Nadia shook her head and laughed. “You’re really fucking unbelievable, Parks. You almost make me believe in god.” She nodded toward Bastien. “I assume Bastien had no clue you like that quotation just because you’re obsessed with Louise Penny novels?” She recited the next verse. We asked for signs The signs were sent The birth betrayed The marriage spent Yeah the widowhood Of every government Signs for all to see

“Did you get the signs you needed, Rinda? Or do you still want more?” Rinda had been thoroughly scolded and she hung her head in shame, shaking her head. She didn’t need more. She was a very contrite Tria.

#long post #choices trr #rinda parks ofc #series twenty cracked #bastien lykel

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lesbianbruabba · 6 years ago

Note

Answer all the qs! Unless theres any you don’t want to do

Mobile so these are ugly sowwy

1:Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now?

Well I just spent my night watching exurb1a that p much explains it

2:Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone?

Sometimes?

3:If your significant other smoked pot, would you care?

I’m pro legalization but if it’s an addiction obviously I’d try and prevent further damage. If it’s well controlled i don’t mind.

4:Do you find it easy to trust others?

I trust too easily so yeah

5:What were you doing at 11PM last night?

Watching exurb1a, or wanking, or looking at takeouts on Deliveroo

6:You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you?

Probably my brother or one of my best friends

7:What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

Cry

8:Are you close with your dad?

Fairly close imo. But we have a lot of opposing views and I have to try and overlook those.

9:I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

No?

10:What are you listening to?

Magic by Coldplay @samrull can suck my dick

11:You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it?

Cum fanta lemon

12:Do you like hickeys?

YES unless they’re on my boobs then NO bc I used to have like massive ones and I couldn’t sleep on my back

13:What time do you go to bed?

Hahahhahahahaaha you must be new here

14:Is there someone who continuously lets you down?

My mother

15:Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

Yea

16:Do you always answer your texts?

Most of the time unless I’m tired

17:Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for?

18:When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends?

Like a few minutes ago with Iza bc I pester her a lot

19:Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them?

My little brother and all my best friends

20:What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?

I went to bed yesterday morning but my last thought was ‘I love Tom Holland’

21:Is anyone else in the room with you?

No. I don’t think so

22:Do you believe what goes around comes around?

23:Were you happier four months ago than you are now?

Yes. On the 30th December I was probably hanging out with my brother.

24:Is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

A few. Some are beyond repair, others are just lost chances.

25:In the past week, have you cried?

Lmao. Yeah. A lot.

26:What colour is the shirt you are wearing?

White with pink and blue argyle patterns

27:Do people ever call you by your last name?

No. I would hate that

28:Is anyone ignoring you right now?

Probably? Idk

29:Do you have a best friend?

I have 7 bitch

30:Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

31:Who was your last call/text message from?

Iza

32:Are you mad at anyone?

Yeah. Pro lifers.

33:Have you ever kissed someone older than you?

Yes

34:How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

23? Idk I don’t remember

35:How many more days until your birthday?

Like 3 months minus a bit.

36:Do you have any summer plans yet?

Yeah! I’m going to Poland with my mum. Then I’m going home and going to suffer in the HK heat.

37:Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

Yes. Two, one is my brother.

38:Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now?

No. I’m an open book lol

39:Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone?

I don’t think so??

40:Have you ever regretted kissing someone?

41:Do you think age matters in relationships?

Depends on the age gap and the ages of the parties involved

42:Are you available?

Yes

43:How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

1 or 2

44:If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get?

Nose ring but not septum. On the side of my nose

45:Do you believe exes can be friends?

Yes if they put effort into it

46:Do you regret anything?

A lot.

47:Honestly, what’s on your mind right now?

Turbulent is such a good song also I want thanos to raw me

48:Did you ever lose a best friend?

I’ve ghosted a best friend if that counts bc she’s toxic as fuck

49:Was your last kiss a mistake?

50:Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like?

Bc they don’t like me back lmao and also ‘pursuing’ sounds kind of predatory??

51:Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry?

52:Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed?

Not really

53:What was the last thing you ate?

A weird cake that was sweet but I couldn’t pinpoint the flavor

54:Did you get any compliments today?

Yes

55:Where are you going on your next vacation?

June to Poland

56:Do you own anything from other countries?

Yeah I have dolls from Belgium and Poland and Japan and also some trinkets from other places

57:Are most of your friend guys or girls?

The majority are girls

58:Where have you lived most of your life?

Tseung kwan o

59:When was the last time you took a long drive?

I don’t drive :D

60:Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?

61:Have you ever TPd someone’s house?

No! I’m a good girl uwu

62:Who do you text the most?

Probably Iza

63:What was the last movie you saw?

Endgame but it’s a bad stream of it

64:What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

Don’t have one

65:How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?

66:Is the last person you kissed younger than you?

No. You asked this question earlier

67:Do you curse around your parents?

Hell nah they’d ground me even though I’m nineteen

68:Are you happy with where you live?

Not really but it’s okay

69:Picture of yourself?

70:Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?

Personally I’m monogamous

71:Have you ever been dumped?

72:What do you most like about making out?

It’s hot

73:Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?

Yes

74:When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?

Both?

75:What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?

Face

76:Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?

Iza or my brother’s gf

77:Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

78:Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?

79:What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

Dogs

80:Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?

NOPE

81:Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

No lol have you seen what I look like

82:Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

Depends on who the crush is and who I tell. Usually I tell my brother and maaaaaybe some of my more sensible friends

83:Do you miss your last sweetie?

???????????

84:Last time you slow danced with someone?

Uhh never. I wish I did though that sounds cool

85:Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?

Nope

86:How can I win your heart?

Make me a playlist and be honest with me. Also be funny

87:What is your astrological sign?

Leo but I’m more of a cancer

88:What were you doing last night at 12 AM?

Eating my takeout and watching exurb1a

89:Do you cook?

I make a good risotto and also potato dauphinois. But otherwise no

90:Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?

Don’t got one

91:If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

Hells yeah @wlw hit me up

92:Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

The latter

93:What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

A nice face. I like older blondes when it comes to women and less muscley men. Generally for everyone, the more feminine the better.

94:Name four things that you wish you had!

Bigger eyes, a boney figure, fluency in all languages, more brain cells

95:Are you a player?

I play the ukulele

96:Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?

97:Are you a tease?

I plead the fifth

98:Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?

Yeah a few and they were all v sweet gals

99:Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

I don’t know

100:Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?

Yeah

101:Hugs or Kisses?

Hugs!!!!

102:Are you too shy to ask someone out?

I don’t think so

103:The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?

Eyes

104:Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

Yes!! And I call everyone that except my brother he’s dickhead

105:If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?

No!!

106:Do you flirt a lot?

Depends on who you are and how well you know me

107:Your last kiss?

Last year

108:Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?

109:Have you kissed anyone in the past month?

Lmao no

110:If you could kiss anyone who would it be?

One of the people I’m crushing on probably. Or Zach Grace

111:Do you know who you’ll kiss next?

No, that’s an interesting question though.

112:Does someone like you currently?

Probably not. Again, refer to picture of me

113:Do you currently have feelings for anyone?

Yeah I always fuckin do

114:Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?

Serious relationships

115:Ever made out with just a friend?

Yes

116:Are you happier single or in a relationship?

Well I’ve only experienced the former so

Thanks for the questions sorry they’re ugly im also ugly but I’m sure u arent

#answered #anon

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dr-gloom · 6 years ago

Text

Fall Apart

Ch 2

Pairing: platonic Analogical, mentions of past Prinxiety

Fandom: Thomas Sanders, Sanders Sides

Tags: Human AU, Asexual Virgil, mentions of a breakup, mentions of depression, very brief mention of self-harm

Words: 3,512

A/N: It’s based off of my personal experience with my most recent breakup. Convos are nearly word-for-word, Logan is my friend, my ex is Roman, and I’m Virgil. Please Enjoy! :) Fic is under the cut to save space on your dash. <3

Read it on AO3

fic masterlist

like what I do? buy me a coffee or GoFundMe

Virgil sat on his bed, staring at the screen of his laptop with a soft numbness that had settled in his bones hours ago when he’d first realized what happened. It was 11 PM and he’d been sitting in his room, in the dark, since he’d woken up to the messages on his computer.

It was summer break - well, as much of a break as you get between summer semester and fall semester, which was 3 weeks - and he’d barely heard from his boyfriend the past couple weeks. He knew that Roman had gone out of state to visit an old friend for a week, so he’d been expecting the week-long disappearance. What he hadn’t been expecting, what hurt, was that once Roman came home he ghosted Virgil for nearly two weeks. Virgil sent him messages occasionally, telling himself that Roman was just busy, or maybe he really hadn’t come home yet. Only small messages, like ‘hey, hope your day’s going well’ and ‘message me when you have the time. i love you’. He’d scarcely get a response, maybe a ‘sorry, been busy, school’s starting soon’ and that was fine. He understood. He could wait.

At least, that’s what he tried to tell himself. In the late hours of the night his anxiety whispered to him, telling him ‘he’s cheating on you’ ‘he doesn’t love you anymore’ ‘he never loved you’ . He’d chase these thoughts away with Disney movies (something they both loved) and the Dear Evan Hansen soundtrack blasting through his earbuds. When the rest of the house was dark and his mother asleep, the anxiety would chew at his stomach and make his head fuzzy. ‘He finally realized that you’re not worth it. That you’re never going to put out. You knew sex was important to him and you let him lie to you because you loved him too much. It’s only a matter of time before he tells you the truth.’ He’d make the voice shut up by scrolling through their messages and reading over the countless times Roman told him that he didn’t mind that Virgil was ace, that he loved him for him, not for his body, and he didn’t mind being best friends with his left hand (something Roman’s theater friends teased him with relentlessly, but it was all in good fun; they liked Virgil and were happy for Roman).

'You’re clingy. Annoying. You try too hard. Or do you not try enough? Maybe both.’ He’d turn off the lights, close his laptop, and cry himself to sleep because they wouldn’t stop until he finally fell unconscious.

Almost two weeks of silence, and then, a message sent 4 hours before he woke up.

after all the thought. i can't string you along into my bullshit anymore. i just can't. i realized it's just always going to end up like this. and yeah it sounds shitty, and yeah this really fucking sucks. but honestly, i'd rather be the bad guy rather than constantly stringing you along and hurting you in the process. it's not fair to you, it's not fair to anyone. no matter how much i like you, it just can't be, unfortunately. and by all means hate me, vilify me, anything you want. i'm just not going to do this anymore. just no more of this. i'm not running away, far from that. i'm facing this rather than hoping that maybe something will change, anything, so that i can continue like nothing is wrong. i can't do it. you don't deserve this. i'm ending it before it gets too far and you get even more hurt than you are now. so this is it. this is the last time. i'm not doing this again. and you won't have to either.

Virgil had felt groggy when he opened the messenger app on his phone, but not even 20 words in, he was wide awake. He stared at the message for what felt like hours before frantically typing, his heart racing and one thought in his mind; ‘ no no no no no not this please anything but this’ .

What are you talking about? Are you breaking up with me because you're gonna be busy??? Cause that’s not a problem, I get that people get busy, I’m willing to wait. Whatever this is we can work through it, can’t we? You haven’t even talked with me about it.

He felt like his world was caving in. He sat up in bed and grabbed his laptop, shakily pulling it into his lap and opening it up. The first thing that he sees once his screen lights up is Roman’s message on his Facebook tab, and he immediately opens Tumblr to distract himself. He ignores the few tears that slip, and the trembling in his hands. He tries to ignore the thoughts in his head, his doubts, how his mind screams at him ‘you knew this would happen, you knew and you did nothing.’

It takes a couple hours of Tumblr and putting on Pocahontas to make him clam down, but he isn’t at peace. He’s numb. He watches three more movies, sitting with his laptop in front of him, and lets his mind wander.

The call had come out of nowhere. Virgil had been distracted on Tumblr, occasionally switching tabs to answer Roman on Facebook. It was a pretty normal chat, just talking about their day. Roman had spent all day with his theater friends at dress rehearsal and unwinding at one of their houses and Virgil had gone to his summer classes. He hated that he had to take them and waste his chance of a summer with Roman, but if he wanted to get his Associates next spring it had to be done.

Roman said something about calling, and Virgil had agreed, not really paying attention as he went back to tumblr. Then, his phone vibrated beside him and he picked it up, answering immediately when he noticed it was Roman.

“Hey.” He went back to scrolling as Roman replied. “Hey, Virge. I wanted to talk about something pretty serious.” Virgil hummed, sharing a post.

“Well, you know that you’re ace, and... I’m not.” Virgil blinked and paused. ”...Yeah?”

There was a pause, and Virgil could imagine Roman nodding to himself on the other end. “I just wanted to... Talk about boundaries.”

Virgil clicked the down arrow on his keyboard, sharing some picture drawn by an art blog he loved. “Oh. Yeah, sure.” He didn’t understand why it was an issue. They'd been dating for six months, Roman knew Virgil was sex-repulsed, knew he wasn’t going to put out or reciprocate or even want to be... touched like that. Hell, Virgil used to vent to Roman when someone would get into that debate with him, or when a guy would break up with him over it.

“I just want to make sure that I don’t... Do something wrong. So... What’s okay to do?”

Virgil sat back on his bed for a moment, chewing his lip. “Well... You know sex is out of the question...” There was a hum on Roman’s end. “And... I don’t want anyone to touch my downstairs mix-up. Just, no. I’ll never touch anyone’s... stuff either. Uh..... make-outs and cuddling are okay...”

“Okay. I just... Didn’t want us to be... y’know, and then suddenly you’re like ‘whoa, where’s that hand now?’... I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”

This was kind of weird for Virgil. He’d never heard Roman so hesitant and serious. Well, he’s heard the other being serious, when it really mattered, but the way he was talking, it seemed like he was afraid to offend Virgil. “It’s fine, really. If you ever did anything I’d tell you. You know that.”

He sits up and goes back to Tumblr while Roman talks. “I guess I just ....” The rest faded out as Virgil got distracted by his laptop, not paying much attention. In the back of his mind, he felt bad. He’d never tuned out the other when they talked before; he loved hearing Roman talk. He shook his head and tried to focus on what his boyfriend was saying.

”-and I just don’t want things to get bad, or weird.” Virgil hummed and thought of what he could say. He didn’t want Roman to know he wasn’t listening... “Well... I mean, you’re seriously one of the most considerate people I know, and you know what my whole ‘deal’ is, so.. I guess I just don’t see why this is so important?” He was honestly kind of lost as to why this was a Serious Talk, capital S T, when it was old hat for them.

“I get why it’s not super important to you, ‘cause this is all old news to you, but... It’s important to me. I want to do right by you.”

The next few minutes are a blur to Virgil. He can’t remember what was said now, and he doubts he even knew what was said in the moment. He’d been such an ass, tuning out Roman like that when he was obviously stressing.

“Well... Given what we’ve talked about and everything.... I think I’m going to need time to think. I’m sorry, I’m going to have to cancel our movie date tomorrow, and I’ll be going to visit a friend out of state next week, so I can’t make that date either.” They’d had a weekly movie date since they’d gotten together, and they were rarely cancelled, since the two spent a lot of time apart, going to different colleges and all.

Virgil feels his heart sink, but he keeps his tone casual to not let Roman know. “Yeah, okay. Let me know when you’re free.” And then they hung up. Neither had said goodbye, or ‘I love you’, which they always, always did. At the time, Virgil hadn’t thought much of it.

Virgil scrolls through their Messenger chat silently, reading over the messages, trying to think of where he went wrong, what he missed. He scoffs at an unanswered message he sent a few days before their talk.

fucking-

I’m literally in tears rn because my mom yelled at me

I was trying to talk to her but she was blasting the tv 'cause apparently she’s partially deaf when she sits in front of the tv or whatever

And I asked her to turn it down so she yelled

And I’m crying like a little bitch

Roman hadn’t answered until the next day, saying sorry for missing the message and sorry that Virgil had to go through that.

It was the first panic attack he’d had alone since they’d gotten together, but it wasn’t the last.

Virgil continued scrolling up, up, up. For days all he saw was him complaining. He’d been having a really bad month, and Roman had been busy with the coming play, so they almost never saw each other in person, and Virgil’s stress was making his depression and anxiety skyrocket.

‘Stupid, you’re so stupid. All you ever do is complain. No wonder he’s gotten sick of you. You’re a fucking depressing mess.' Virgil wipes his eyes and keeps going.

At the beginning of the month:

Virgil: Hey

Roman: yo, whats up?

Virgil: Watching Night at the Museum

Virgil: You?

Roman: on the phone with friends

Virgil: Oh should I let you do that then? No worries

Roman: ????

Roman: did you want something?

Virgil: I mean no, not really. Just wanted to chat

Virgil: But if you’re busy idm

Roman: i’ll call you up when i’m done

He never had.

Virgil felt like an idiot that night. He’d cursed at himself for bothering Roman so much, for being clingy when the other was a busy, happy, normal human being with more than three friends who liked to talk to him on a normal basis because he wasn’t fucked up like Virgil was. And yet....

And yet, that had been the first time Roman hadn’t immediately dropped what he was doing to talk to Virgil. ‘Karma’s a bitch’ he thinks as he keeps scrolling.

Virgil: I miss you too. ♥

Virgil: Definitely having movie night tomorrow

Roman: yeeeeee

Roman: honestly are you free rn?

Roman: can i just waste your time for a bit?

Roman: or nah

Roman: that's fine if nah because i'm chill

Roman: chiller than ice

Virgil: I’m free, totally

Roman: nice

He smiles slightly. Roman could be such a dork.

Virgil: I just got sad because I realized one day I’ll finish the Family Guy game

Roman: ....

Roman: i’m not judging

Roman: but honestly that’s so cute and silly

Virgil: omg

Roman: i shan’t tell a lie

Virgil: Lies.

Roman: pfffff

Roman: sure

Virgil: Mwahahaha

Roman: wow you’re in a silly mood

Roman: i love ur silly moods

Virgil: Yeah idk why honestly

Roman: lol rip

Roman: i want to experience this

Virgil: Rip

Virgil: Let’s see, what’d I do today?

Virgil: I drew a picture of an anemone

Virgil: Then I did math

Virgil: Then I got mad at shitty drivers

Virgil: Then I ate popcorn

Virgil: Then my mom got moody

Virgil: Then I ate dinner

Virgil: And a frosty

Virgil: Maybe that’s it

Roman: i blame the frosty

Virgil: lolol

Virgil: Guess what I just learned to play?

Roman: the thong song

Roman: gay bar

Virgil: lmao no

Roman: those are my only good guesses my dude

Virgil: Riptide

Roman: i was gonna guess that too but thought against it

Roman was the only person who never looked at him weird when he was actually happy. He'd been with Virgil as a friend when his depression was worse than it was now, talking him through tough nights. He was the only person who never got mad at Virgil for self-harming; Roman just told him that he was sad Virgil was hurting enough that he was doing this to himself. He'd been the first to tell Virgil that he loved all the things the other hated about himself. The first to make Virgil think maybe I'm not that fucked up after all. Virgil had finally seen himself through someone else's eyes and actually started to like himself, if only a little. Virgil wipes the tears that’d started to fall and looks at the time. It’s well past dinner, and Virgil hasn’t eaten, but he doesn’t really want to. At some point he’d noticed that Roman had come back online, but he never responded to Virgil’s messages. He feels a small flame of anger in his chest before it’s quickly doused, and his mind starts running a mile a minute.

‘He doesn’t love you, he never did. He’s so sick of you he won’t even respond. He didn’t give you a choice because he’s done with your shit, all the complaining, the depression, the anxiety attacks over nothing . You’re too clingy for him, and yet you’re too distant to be anything more than some ex-classmate he’d see in the hall. Who would want to be stuck with that the rest of their lives? Especially when he’s getting nothing out of it? Seriously, sex is such a huge basis of any romantic relationship, and you won’t even give him a handjob. You have nothing to offer him. It’s surprising he hasn’t left sooner.’

Virgil is crying openly now, breaths shuddering past his bitten lips like a breeze through an old shutter. Without thinking, he scrolls back to the most recent messages and rereads Roman’s message before writing frantically.

Is it because I’m ace? Because of that talk we had a few weeks ago? Or is it because I’m not a theater person? Or because I’m depressed? My anxiety? Was I too clingy? did I try too hard? Or not hard enough? What was it???

He hits send, but a window pops up on Facebook, telling him ‘this person isn’t available right now’. Virgil blinks as more tears fall, his chest tight. He hits send three more times, getting the same message. He’s confused; even if Roman’s offline he’s always been able to send a message. He notices his friend Logan online and opens a chat window. He’s smart, he’ll know what’s up.

Virgil: Have you ever tried to message someone on Facebook and it tells you “this person isn’t available right now”?

The reply is almost instant. Logan never leaves him hanging.

Logan: Yes. I believe it means the person has blocked you, though I cannot say with 100% certainty.

Virgil feels the world fall away, the only thing left being the bed under his legs and the laptop in front of him as he responds.

Virgil: Oh

Virgil: Okay

Logan: They could be on Do Not Disturb.

Virgil: That’s Skype, not Facebook

Logan: Then again, Facebook was once extremely “buggy”.

Logan: It would give me such notifications on my laptop, but not on mobile.

Logan: So don’t be too certain.

While Logan had been typing, Virgil had opened another tab and searched “what’s it mean when facebook tells you ‘this person isn’t available right now’?”. As expected, multiple sources state that the chat has been deleted and/or the person has blocked you. Virgil gripped his shirt with one hand, chest hurting, and went back to the Facebook tab to reply to Logan.

Logan: Who is it?

Virgil: Roman

Virgil: I guess we’re exes now?

Virgil: Though he didn’t give me a say in that

Virgil takes a deep, shaking breath.

Virgil: I just looked it up, he blocked me

Logan: ...

Logan: Wow, that was fast.

Logan: May I ask what happened?

Virgil: I have no fucking idea

Virgil: He messaged me while I was asleep

Logan: Oh. Well... I don’t know what to say.

Virgil: Hold on...

Virgil copy-pasted Roman’s last message to him into the chat with Logan and sent it. For a brief second he hoped it’d say “this person isn’t available right now” so that he’d know it was a glitch. The message sent, and Logan replied.

Logan: Oh. Shit.

Logan never swore. Ever. He was succinct, precise, only said what needed to be said in as few words as it took. He saw swear words as unnecessary. Virgil let out a choked sob before replying.

Virgil: That’s what I fucking woke up to

Logan: I am confused. Is this because you do not spend much time together?

Virgil: You know, I thought that wasn’t a problem

Virgil: The last conversation we had that was longer than a couple of minutes was about how he’s sexual and I’m not

Virgil: And he wanted to know my boundaries so he doesn’t accidentally pressure me

Virgil: So yeah

Virgil: Pretty sure it’s just another fucking person who can’t stand me being ace

A memory flashes behind his eyelids. Sitting on the opposite end of the couch from Roman, moments away from an anxiety attack because he was so nervous that this would ruin everything. His eyes shut tight, ready to be rejected, and flying open when he heard Roman’s soft laugh. Roman taking his hand and telling him, “I love you for the person you are. Not the body you’re in. So I have a libido and you don’t, it doesn’t matter. I’m perfectly fine being best friends with my left hand for the rest of my life.” Virgil had turned red, and Roman had laughed and kissed his forehead before they turned back to watch Mulan.

Virgil: He always said he had no problem with it, that his left hand would be his best friend, and me being comfortable was more important than anything

Virgil: I guess he changed his mind

Virgil: I’m just done

Virgil: I’m sick of people thinking they can handle this and breaking my fucking heart when they realize they can’t

Virgil: I’m done with relationships

He knew this was a lot. He knew it wasn’t fair to dump this on Logan, the one person he knew who didn’t really do emotions, but he was the person who was here, and Virgil needed to get this out before he exploded. Or did something worse. The little box in the drawer of his bedside table sang to him, and he was acutely aware of where it was in proximity to his body, as if it was all that existed outside of his immediate bubble.

Logan: Wait, was this specifically about sexuality?

Logan: Sometimes people think they can handle dating asexual people, and they realize what it entails.

Logan: I'm sorry, but I have to sleep soon. I'm heading to Bakersfield tomorrow. Stay safe and don't do anything irrational please.

Logan: Text me tomorrow.

Virgil: Ok

Virgil shut his laptop, staring up at the ceiling. He felt numb. He felt like he was being washed away by the ocean, like he was drowning. He felt like he was being torn apart and burned alive and so many other things he couldn’t describe.

He grabbed the box.

‘Don’t do anything irrational’.

Loving someone as perfect as Roman was irrational.

He let out a shaky sigh as the small glass shard split his skin.

He falls apart.

#prinxiety #platonic analogical #analogical #sanders sides #sanders sides fanfiction #depression #mentions of self-harm #breakups #sanders sides fanfic

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dobseventeen · 7 years ago

Text

A New Beginning (Part 6)

A/N: I’m not sure why, but I really love this chapter? No specific reason, I just really enjoy it. Shoutout to the various anon’s who encouraged me to get this done tonight, you da real MVP’s. ALSO HUGE SHOUTOUT TO @veronicarapp because she is literally the inspiration for the reader’s friend “Sammy” that is introduced in this chapter. Like she is 100% Sammy. She’s also my tumblr bff, so it just makes sense, right? LOVE YOU BITCH. Anyways, I hope you guys like this chapter and are overall liking the direction I’m taking the story. Feedback is always appreciated!

Word Count: 5,246

Warnings: None really? (Cussing, kissing, fluff)

Summary: Y/N finally tells someone about her time spent with Dylan before they spend yet another evening together in LA.

Previous Chapter: Part 5

Next Chapter: Part 7

You awoke to the sound of your phone ringing. You groggily lifted your head and looked around the room, trying to get your bearings. How long was I asleep? You were relieved when you saw that the sun was still shinning brightly through your hotel window. Your phone kept blaring its obnoxious ringtone, demanding that you answer it. You reached over to grab it from the bedside table, hoping you’d see Dylan’s name on the screen.

Incoming call from: Sammy 👯

You smiled at the phone when you saw your best friend’s name. You and Sammy met your freshman year of college, randomly, while walking to the same party. To make a long story short, by the end of the night you were both shoving shots down each others throats and claiming that you’d be in one another’s weddings, even though you had only known one another for four hours at that point. You couldn’t have been more right though. Sammy had been there for you through everything; the little fights you had with your ex, the nights you took down way too much tequila, your break up, and your decision to finally move out west. She was your rock through and through, and you were certain you wouldn’t be where you were today without her spunky-ass.

“Sammy! Hi!” you exclaimed into the phone.

“What’s up, bitch? You wanna tell me why I haven’t heard from you since you landed in Cali?!” she playfully barked at you.

Before you could give her an explanation, she continued, “Let me guess, you met some dreamy, LA guy who has been taking up all your time during the day, and then ramming you into his headboard at night?”

You couldn’t help but let your mouth fall agape at her almost perfect assumption. Leave it to her to be able to know what you were doing without sharing one word with her.

“Y/N/N? You there?” she asked.

“Yeah sorry, I, uhhh, I’m-” you stuttered.

“OH MY FUCKING GOSH YOU MET A GUY.” she practically yelled into the phone.

Your face grew red instantly, making you thankful that she was on the other side of the country and couldn’t call you out on it.

“Okay, yeah, I may have met a guy the first night I got here...” you spoke coolly, trying to play it off the best you could.

“And you didn’t think to tell me?! What the fuck?!” she was now more excited than anything, and you felt bad for your downstairs apartment neighbors back home who were inevitably hearing everything she was screaming into the phone.

“I’m sorry, Sam! I didn’t keep it quiet intentionally, I’ve just been with him... well, a lot.” you said hesitantly, knowing you were about to get the third degree.

“Oh my fuck, okay, okay. Before I start prying all of that out of you, how did your interview go? Did you bomb it so you can stay here on the East coast with me?” she joked.

You chuckled, “Nope, I landed it! I got the fucking job!” you were now the one screaming into the phone.

“That is so awesome, Y/N!!! I’m so happy for you, even though that means you’re leaving me.” she fake pouted.

“You know you’ll be able to come visit whenever you want, and I’ll be home all the time to see everyone.” you reassured her.

“I know, I know. Now, on to more important things; who the fuck have you been spending all your time with?!” she playfully shot at you.

“Okay, Sam, I’m going to need you to stay calm and not freak out, okay? Because if you freak out, then I’ll freak out, and I can’t afford to do that when I’m about to hangout with him again in a few hours.” you said in an authoritative tone.

“Oh my god, is it a celebrity? HAVE YOU BEEN WINED AND DINED BY A CELEBRITY? Holy fuck!” she exclaimed.

“SAM! Chill out, okay? I’m not going to tell you until you’re calm.” you laughed at her.

You heard her take a deep, audible breath, “Okay, okay, I’m calm.”

You were now the one taking in a huge breath, since you hadn’t told anyone about your time with Dylan yet. This was about to make it real.

“Sammy... It’s Dylan O’Brien.” you said blankly, trying to fight the smile that made its way onto your face at the mention of his name aloud.

The line was quiet.

“Sammy, are you ther-” you were interrupted.

“OH. MY. GOD. Are you fucking serious right now? You can’t be serious? Dylan fucking O’Brien? The Maze Runner? The American Assassin? STILES STILINSKI?” she yelled into the phone, her voice laced with shock.

“Yes, I am so serious. He’s fucking amazing, Sam. I’m not sure how I got so damn lucky, but I’ve been with him everyday since I got here.” you explained, failing to hide the giddiness in your voice.

“TELL ME EVERYTHING.” she deadpanned back to you.

At the same time, you heard a ding on the line, signalling a new text message. You removed the phone from your ear to look at the screen and saw Dylan’s name.

“Y/N? Don’t you dare leave me hanging like this.” she warned.

“Sorry, I got a text, Sam, look ca-” you were interrupted again.

“IS IT FROM HIM?” she shouted.

“Yes, it’s from Dylan. Look, Sammy, I promise to fill you in on all of the details later, but I have to start getting ready for tonight.” you said clearly, hoping she’d understand.

“Okay, okay, Y/N/N. I get it. You go be with an incredibly sexy movie star, while I sit here in our apartment watching Friends for the millionth time. But, Y/N, promise me you’ll be careful? The last thing you need is another prick to come in your life and mess it all up, I don’t care if he’s some big celebrity.” she said with an assertive tone.

“I promise, Sam. I’ll talk to you later, okay? Love ya bitch.” you said in a sweet voice.

“Love you too, homie!” she fired back.

Before you could take time to reflect on how much you appreciated your best friend for looking out for your well being, your phone dinged again with another text.

Dylan O’Brien: “Hi Y/N! 😘 Finally done with my meetings for the day.”

Dylan O’Brien: “Hope you’re prepared for the most basic date of your life tonight. I really pulled out all the stops for this one!!!”

You chucked at your phone. You weren’t sure what he meant, but you were excited to find out. He could literally take you on a walk through Burbank and you’d be in heaven. You felt a strong surge of confidence as you typed your reply.

Y/N: “Hey, Dyl. I can’t wait to see what you’ve got up your sleeves for tonight, you never fail to surprise me! How did your meetings go, babe?”

You instantly threw your phone onto the bed, cursing yourself for calling him “babe”. What the fuck is wrong with you? Before your anxiety could consume you, you phone dinged from under the comforter. You breathed a sigh of relief when you read his response, a warm feeling replacing the icy cold anxiousness that was previously coursing through you.

Dylan O’Brien: “You’ll like what I have planned. Well, at least I think you will. I’ve been paying close attention to you over the last few days, babe. My meetings actually went great for once, making me that much more excited to come pick your cute ass up 😉”

You were still slightly in disbelief that you were already at this level with someone you had met only three days prior, regardless if it was Dylan O’Brien. Pet names never really became a thing until at least a week after knowing the guy. Sex definitely didn’t come along until at least the third date. You knew Dylan wasn’t a bad guy, hell he seemed like a great guy so far, and all you wanted to do was stay in this state of bliss with him forever, but you knew you needed to be smart about this. You didn’t regret any of the things that had happened thus far, but you needed to remind yourself to not get too caught up in it all. The last thing you needed to deal with was another broken heart, especially in a city that you couldn’t even officially call home yet.

Y/N: “Well, what are you waiting for, O’Brien? Me and my cute ass are waiting on ya 😉”

Dylan O’Brien: “How about I come by around 6 to pick you up?”

Y/N: “Sounds good, Dyl. See you soon 😘”

You hadn’t even checked the time since you woke up from your nap. You figured it was still early afternoon, 3 pm at the latest. Wrong. You did a triple take when you looked down at your watch.

“5:11 PM?! WHAT THE FUCK!!” you said aloud.

You immediately went to the shower, completely pissed that you let yourself sleep that late. What the fuck Y/N? Now you’re going to look like shit for your date. Smooth. He’s never going to take you out again because you chose to sleep your life away! You continued ranting to yourself as you quickly showered and pulled yourself together. By the time the clock read 5:45 PM, you had already dried and styled your hair into a cute, low ponytail, lathered lotion across basically your whole body, and finished a majority of your makeup. All that was left was to pick your outfit and apply some lipstick. You were eternally grateful that he told you to dress comfy casual, because you were running out of going-out outfits that you packed for your week-long trip. You settled on a pair of denim shorts, clad with fashionable holes, a simple black tank top whose straps criss-crossed in the back, and your go-to pair of grey low-top converse. As you were applying a thin layer of pink lip gloss, you heard a knock at your door. A smile instantly spread across your face when you saw Dylan standing on the other side.

“Hey, Dyl.” you said bashfully, still getting used to his captivating presence.

“Hey, gorgeous. You ready to go?” he said with a wink as he extended his hand out to you.

“Yepp, let’s see what you have in store for me tonight, O’Brien.” you teased as you gave his hand a small squeeze, him leading you down the hallway.

You were driving down one of the main strips through LA, all the windows down in Dylan’s Range Rover, hand in hand with him, as you were both all but screaming the lyrics to “I Like Me Better” by Lauv. The sun was just beginning to set in the sky, casting a beautiful orange hue over the city. You began thinking to yourself about how sincerely happy you were in the moment. Not a care in the world, just you and Dylan, hand in hand under the sunset, singing so obnoxiously you could’ve laughed about it for hours. This must be what it feels like to be purely and genuinely happy.

You leaned up to turn down the radio, Dylan instantly jerking his head in your direction.

“What do you think you’re doing?! The best part was coming up!” he playfully barked at you.

“Sorry, Dyl! I promise we can listen to it again. But I need a hint as to where we are going, the excitement is killing me, dude!” you exclaimed, leaning your head sideways towards him, your Ray-Bans covering your curious eyes.

“Trust me, where we’re going isn’t that exciting at all, but I know you’ll like it. So, sit back and sing with me until we get there!” he said as he leaned forward and turned the radio back up. He flashed you a huge smile before he began his next Grammy-worthy performance for you. You threw your head back and laughed at his goofy personality, knowing you would’ve sat in his passenger seat forever just hearing him sing to you.

“Oh my god, are you serious?!” you shouted as he flicked on his right turn signal, preparing to pull into the drive-thru of the one and only, In-N-Out.

Dylan laughed before diving into his explanation, “Last night you said that you’d be more than happy if an In-N-Out was on top of that cliff and that you didn’t need a five course meal, so I’m taking you up on that.”

You picked up his hand that was interconnected with yours and brought it to your lips, giving it a delicate kiss.

“You’re something else, you know that?” you said, your gaze darting between his caramel eyes and his alluring lips. The second the SUV came to a stop, you leaned up and enveloped his lips into a quick but passionate kiss. You both smiled into the kiss as it broke, and looked deeply into one another’s eyes.

“I know it’s not a typical place to go for a second date, but I promise I have more planned than just fast food hamburgers.” he said sheepishly.

“Dylan, it’s perfect. I love it because you actually listen to me and what I have to say. Like, you actually pay attention to me.” you said in a reassuring tone.

No one had ever listened to you or paid attention to you to the extent that Dylan had. First, he noticed the thing you had for looking at views and landscapes the day he drove you home from lunch, which led to your first real date. You always had an earnest appreciation and curiosity for your surroundings, whether it was a beautiful sunset, or some side street in the middle of LA. Now, he had listened to something you had casually uttered while you were busy taking in the view of the LA skyline from that cliff for the first time.

“I don’t understand how anyone could not listen to absolutely everything that leaves your mouth.” he said simply, flashing you a small smile. He seemed that he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. You were both then interrupted by the waitress taking your order.

Dylan ordered your food and pulled up the drive-thru window. The waitress let out a small scream because she instantly noticed Dylan. Without hesitation, he reached over and reconnected his hand with yours that was resting on the center console, silently claiming you as his. The action made your heart flutter, even if it was only directed towards this random In-N-Out employee.

“OH MY GOD YOU’RE DYLAN O’BRIEN!!!” she shouted as he traced his thumb over your hand.

“Yeah, that’s me. It’s nice to meet you!” he spoke with such pure generosity. It warmed your heart to know that he genuinely cared about his fans.

“I seriously love you SO much! Could we please take a selfie really quick?” she asked in a gawking tone.

Dylan let out a small chuckle, “Of course we can!”

The waitress angled her phone in a way that caught the two of them in the picture, with Dylan slightly leaning out of his window, an adorable smirk plastered across his face. You leaned back in your seat, not wanting to ruin the picture for the young girl.

“Thank you so so so much, Dylan! I’ll have your food out in one sec!” she spoke nervously, obviously not expecting to meet a movie star at work today.

“Well aren’t you just so sweet to your fans?” you cooed, having a new admiration for the man next to you.

He let out a small laugh, “I owe everything to my fans, the least I can do is be nice and take a quick picture. I wish I could do more honestly.” he admitted.

Before you had a chance to reply, he spoke again, “She didn’t get you in the picture did she?”

A small pit in your stomach formed. Did he not want to be seen with me?

“Uhm, I don’t think so. I leaned back and tried to get out of the way.” you said lowly, averting your gaze from his face to the control panel of the Rover.

“Okay. I don’t want you to think I’m trying to keep you a secret or whatever, I just don’t want the paparazzi to get a hold of it and drag you into something you aren’t ready for.” he explained reassuringly, noticing your personality shift.

“I get what you’re saying. Make sense.” was all you could murmur. You weren’t sure how you felt about that aspect of this new “relationship” or fling or whatever you wanted to call it. You totally understood where he was coming from and you appreciated that he wanted to look out for you, but a part of the whole ordeal stung, and you weren’t exactly sure why. Your thoughts moved away from topic once the waitress handed Dylan your food and he began driving away.

“Now where?” you said, trying to break the awkwardness of the previous conversation.

“Haven’t you learned by now that I’m just never going to tell you? Everything is a surprise with me, gorgeous.” he said, turning to flash you a toothy smile.

“Ughhh, you kill me, babe.” you said before realizing the words that had left your mouth. Your eyes instantly got wide and your cheeks turned red. You were completely embarrassed at your lack of filter as you stared straight through the windshield, looking at the passing streetlights.

Dylan noticed your bashful reaction and placed his hand on the exposed skin of your thigh, “You’re so cute... babe.” ending it with a charming wink.

You exhaled a breath you didn’t realize you were holding, thankful that he wasn’t weirded out by your new nickname being said aloud for the first time. Your sense of relief was accompanied by the Rover turning into a small gravel driveway, located about ten minutes from the main road you were just cruising down. You couldn’t tell where the path was leading, which instantly reminded you of the woods from the night before.

“You sure you’re still not planning to kill me in the middle of the woods, O’Brien?” you said jokingly.

“I wouldn’t dream of it. At least not until I know the PIN to your bank account.” he said as he turned the SUV sharply.

“HAHAHA you’re so funny!” you said obnoxiously, finally taking notice of where you were headed.

About one hundred yards in front of you stood a ticket booth with a huge silver screen located some feet behind it. A drive-in movie, how much more romantic could this guy fucking get?

“You really are one of a kind, aren’t you?” you said, a delighted grin resting on your face.

“You make it easy, Y/N. You’re always so excited anytime I do something to surprise you, it makes me want to do cute shit like this for you everyday.” he said sweetly with an honest tone.

You turned to face him as you rested your head against the head rest, “I’m not worthy of you.” you spoke softly. You were only half serious. Maybe.

“You’re crazy if you really believe that.” he said, leaning over and giving your forehead a gentle kiss. You brought your hand up to cup his cheek, and as he began to pull away, you leaned up and connected your lips to his. He mirrored your actions and brought both hands up to hold your face as he fell deeper into the kiss, swiping his tongue over your bottom lip, seeking an entrance. You turned your head to the side, allowing his tongue to move rhythmically with yours. He tenderly bit on your lower lip, eliciting a breathy moan from you, that was lost in the depths of the kiss. As you both broke apart, you looked deeply into his whiskey eyes that were now gleaming from the moon and stars that covered the sky above you both. You silently thanked the guy who invented the sunroof.

“Let’s go get our tickets, babe.” he said, winking at you as he stepped out of the car.

You both walked hand in hand to the ticket booth, arms swinging like you were school children going to recess. You could get used to the feeling of his hand interconnected to yours, giving you a sense of comfort you hadn’t felt in ages.

“So what are we seeing, Dyl?” you asked, knowing damn well you’d sit through any movie as long as you were by his side.

“Well, there are two really good drive-in’s around here, each playing a different movie. The other one is uhm... well, it’s playing The Death Cure. And I didn’t want to spend our second date watching me.” he let out with a chuckle.

You giggled at his shyness, “I totally would’ve been okay watching you on the big screen, but I get why you didn’t want to. I’m seriously happy watching whatever.”

“I’m glad you understand, some people don’t get it. Not only is it kinda weird to watch my own movie on the second date, but it’s also still kinda... hard for me to watch.” he admitted, lowering his head.

“What do you mean?” you questioned, having no clue what he meant by that.

“You don’t know what happened?” he was genuinely shocked and relieved that you weren’t aware of his accident.

“Nope, I have no clue what you’re referring to... but I’ll understand if you don’t want to talk about.” you spoke lightly, not wanting to seem like you were prying.

“No, no, it’s okay, It honestly nice to know that you didn’t already know about it.” he admitted.

He continued, “Well, the reason it took The Death Cure three years to come out after The Scorch Trials is because I got banged up pretty bad while filming it.”

“How bad is pretty bad?” you said, looking at him with wide eyes and raised eyebrows.

He pointed to the scar on the right side of his nose, “You see this right here? Long story short, I was doing a stunt on a moving vehicle and it all went wrong. I had to have facial reconstructive surgery. It was a huge mess and it’s taken me a long time to come to terms with it.” he seemed more solemn and withdrawn than you had ever seen him, and the sight broke your heart.

“Oh, Dylan, I’m so sorry. I had no idea. I can’t even imagine what it must have been like... You’re such a strong person, not only for being able to overcome that and continue on with the movie, but in general just being able to have a recovered and have such a good grip on it.” you said openly, hoping he’d understand just how serious you were in the moment. He gave your hand a gentle squeeze as you both continued towards the ticketing booth.

“Thanks, Y/N/N. I really appreciate that. It was tough, but I made it through and I’d like to think I’m doing better now.” he said, giving you a reassuring smile.

“You’re doing great, Dyl. I don’t know all the details, but you’ve already done so much since then, including American Assassin, finishing the Death Cure, and landing this new role that you’ve been negotiating. You’re amazing, please don’t ever think anything different.” you confessed, meaning every single word.

Dylan knew in that moment that he needed to keep you around as long as he could. Most people simply react to his accident as “yeah that really sucks, can I get an autograph?” or they will completely downplay the severity of it, making him seem like he’s overreacting. You were one of the few people who genuinely respected his healing process with it and recognized how difficult it was to come back, even if you barely knew any details.

“Now I’m pretty sure I’m not worthy of you.” he said, looking down at you through his sunglasses appreciatively.

You gave him a light nudge with your hip and a wink, “Whatever you say, O’Brien. By the way, you wanna tell me why you’re still wearing your sunglasses? It’s 100% nighttime now.”

“Unless you want to share me with any of my fans that might be here, I think it’s best that I leave them on until we get back to the car.” he explained.

“Ahh, makes sense. It’s going to take me awhile to get used to the fact that you’re a celebrity, or whatever.” you said nonchalantly, rolling your eyes jokingly.

“You’re fucking kidding me.” you exasperated as you read the marquee above the ticket window.

“TOP GUN?! This is one of my favorite movies!” you exclaimed, giving Dylan a bright smile.

“I had a feeling you were either into 80′s movies or Tom Cruise, so it was an easy choice compared to, well, my movie. ” he said while reaching for his wallet.

“You know me so well, babe.” you said giving him a wink. You were surprised how much easier the pet name rolled off your tongue this time around.

At the same time you reached up and gently grabbed his arm, “Dyl, please let me pay for the tickets. You’ve already done so much for me this week.”

He creased his eyebrows at you, but stepped aside and let you order the tickets. You leaned up on your elbows at the ticket booth window, slightly sticking your butt out and moving it back and fourth slightly, giving Dylan a show. You heard him mutter something behind you. You looked back with a devilish smirk across your lips, he rolled his eyes at you playfully and threw his head back while running his hand through his hair. Mission accomplished.

You both now sat, cuddled on a blanket beside his car. Your head rested on his chest and his hand traced up and down your back as you watched the classic Tom Cruise movie. You couldn’t help yourself from quoting every other scene. You were slightly worried you were being annoying, until Dylan starting doing it along with you. You both erupted into laughter anytime you’d both say the same phrase at the same time. Both of you were truly in a state of bliss that you never wanted to come out of.

“You know they’re making a Top Gun 2?” he asked.

“Uhm yes! I’m overly obsessed with this movie, so when I found out there was a sequel in the works, I basically died. They’re taking forever to get it figured it out though.” you said, feigning anger.

“If I tell you something do you swear not to tell anyone else?” he whispered, even though there weren’t any people within thirty feet of you.

You were instantly filled with curiosity, “Yes, I promise!”

You were now sitting up, looking down at his perfect face, the moon casting a beautiful glow over his features.

“Well, my manager may or may not have scheduled me an audition for one of the leads in it.” he said coolly, trying to play it off like he was sly.

“DYLAN. YOU’RE KIDDING. You better not be messing with me!” you deadpanned.

He laughed aloud at your intensity over the topic, “I promise I’m not messing with you! It’s still very much in pre-production, but I’m definitely interested. So we will see.” he revealed with a shrug of his shoulders.

“I’d literally KILL to see you in one of the flight uniforms they wear.” you teased as you returned your head to his chest.

“Well, some day you just might.” he said giving your shoulders a light squeeze, pulling you closer.

Before you had the chance to continue the conversation, Dylan’s phone began ringing in his pocket. He quickly reached down to grab it as you retreated from his embrace. He sighed when he read the contact.

“I’m so sorry but I have to take this, I’ll be right back, okay?” he apologized as he started walking away from you, his hand running through his hair nervously. You waved him off, giving him an understanding nod. Your mind began to wander, coming up with different scenarios that could be playing out in the phone call.

From the distance you could hear Dylan whisper-shouting into his phone. “No, I’m not okay with that. That is not what we discussed earlier.”

You didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he was making it hard with the volume he was using, “We agreed to wait two months, I don’t understand what the issue is.”

The conversation continued for about a minute longer, and the only other thing you heard before he returned was “Okay, well I guess I’ll just have to deal with it and figure something out. Thanks, talk to you tomorrow.”

He seemed visibly more tense when he returned to the blanket, his hand still avidly running through his hair. Your heart sank a little at the sight. You hated seeing him anything less than happy.

“Is everything okay, Dyl?” you questioned, a hint of nervousness in your voice.

“Yeah I’m okay, just some work stuff. No big deal, I’ll deal with it tomorrow.” he said, giving you a half-hearted smile. You could tell there was more to the story, but it wasn’t your place to pry, so you let it go. When he sat back down, he put both legs on either side of your body and wrapped his arms around your shoulders and chest, pulling you into him, your head resting in the crook of his neck. You were relieved that he was still wanting to be in the moment with you, regardless of whatever news he just received. He pressed a soft kiss into your hair and you fell further into him, loving the feeling of being wrapped up in his strong arms once again.

As much worry and annoyance was running through Dylan’s veins from his phone call, all of it seemed to drift away the second you were in his grasp. He was so thankful for you in that moment, even though you had no idea what was happening. You would know soon enough though.

The ending credits began to play and everyone in the drive-in lot began to pack up. You began to pull away, but your movements were restricted by Dylan’s grip on you.

He leaned in towards you, “Can we just lay here for a few more minutes?” he whispered.

“I’d love that.” you said sweetly as you turned and pressed a small kiss into his bicep that was just to the left of you. You weren’t lying either. It felt like everything you had ever wanted or dreamed of existed in this moment with him. Every wish upon a star or birthday candle was for this moment to simply come to fruition. Every stupid boy you’d ever had to deal with before this meant nothing compared to bliss that you were currently enveloped in. All you wanted was to lay there with him all night, feeling his chest rising and falling behind you as he breathed in the smell of your floral shampoo.

After a few minutes Dylan spoke up, “You ready to get out of here, gorgeous? I want to show you something.” he hummed into you ear.

“I’d go anywhere with you, Dyl.” you cooed as you pressed a kissed onto his hand.

He sure hoped you meant that.

Next Chapter: Part 7

If you want to be added to the taglist for this series, or to my forever taglist, let me know here!

Tags:

@dancingwithdylan21 @feelingsareharddd @themonsterattheendofthis-blog @supernaturallover2002 @barryallenplease @dannydopeledge @purpleisbloo @bellagrayson-wayne @crazyfreaker @superapplepie @bojabee @veronicarapp @luvnyuh

#dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien fanfiction #dylan o'brian imagine #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brien smut

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malmuses · 7 years ago

Text

Without A Trace - Chapter 2

Authors Note:

I wanted to get this up last night but tumblr wasn’t cooperating - maybe it was upset by the amount of pre-Destiel fluff and silliness in this chapter. This chapter is a small one with no particular content warnings - after these first couple of chapters things start getting a fair bit heavier, so enjoy the respite while you can!

Chapter 1 is here - it’s a good place to start!

Without A Trace - Chapter 2

It had been three days since Cas had returned the motel to tell Dean about the werewolf who had killed himself rather than talk.

He had searched the barn and surrounding area for several hours into the night, before realizing he had not a single lead to go on. Knowing that the werewolves had answered to a ‘she’ turned out to be no help at all; every day since he had returned to the barn, searched the fields, pounded the pavements of nearby towns… all with no results.

They were in southern Wyoming a ways off Route 80, an hour out from Evanston in a tiny town that, other than the pack of werewolves they had chased here from Rock Springs, seemed to have absolutely nothing to hide.

Cas had struggled to keep Dean in bed; by the second day he had yelled until the angel half-carried him out to see the damage caused to the Impala by the angel’s run in with the barn doors. Luckily, beyond a few dents and scratched paint, the door had put up little resistance.

Now, on the morning of day three, Cas retrieved his FBI badge from his duffel and slipped it into his pocket. It was time to go bigger. Sighing, he pushed himself off the edge of Dean’s bed where he was sitting.

“The police station should be opening soon Dean,” he commented dully. “I should go and speak to them, see if they have any leads I can follow.”

“Then I’m coming with you.” The hunter shuffled to the edge of the bed, placing his feet on the ground.

“Dean…” Cas looked at him chastisingly. “You really should be resting up…”

The hunter ignored him, standing stiffly and reaching towards his duffle for a clean dress shirt.

Cas watched him for a moment, before sighing and rubbing a hand across his face. He knew it was no use to argue. Instead, he reached out a hand to the man’s shoulder.

“Dean… please. I’m sorry. I know I’m failing you. I just have no idea-“

Dean turned stiffly back around, clasping the angel’s arm and looking him in the eye.

“No, Cas. Stop. This isn’t your fault. You saved my life….” Dean’s intense gaze softened as he exhaled heavily. “You saved my life and I’ve been so wrapped up in worrying about Sammy I’ve barely thanked you for it. If you hadn’t been listening for my prayer… I’d be wolf kibble, we both know it.”

“You were wolf kibble,” Cas replied testily. Sighing, he pulled his human friend into a brief, tight hug. “You really had me scared Dean,” he confessed.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Dean spoke above his friend’s shoulder. Clapping him on the back, he released him. “I’m glad you showed up,” he added with a little nod.

“Always, Dean. If you call, I’ll be there.”

******

Dean’s walk was slow, but he managed to look mostly normal as they moved up the steps to the police station.

He’s much improved… but he must be feeling fairly bad still, Cas mused. He let me drive.

As they introduced themselves to the small-town officers, Dean watched Cas out of the corner of his eye. He smartly produced his fake FBI badge, asking questions in a low, calm tone. The angel had come a long way in his interactions with humans since they first met.

Still stiff and tired despite Castiel’s copious healing over the last couple of days, Dean was content to let the angel take the lead on this one. Only interjecting with the odd question or two, it didn’t take the duo long to realize that the police knew jack-shit about what was going on in their town.

With a polite departure, they headed back to the Impala.

Dean always fidgeted when he rode shotgun; it was a rare event and he just never quite knew what to do with his hands if they weren’t on the wheel. He settled for digging through his box of cassette tapes while Cas circled the parking lot, looking for the one-way exit. About to slide one into the tape deck, Cas’s hand came out to cover the gap in the radio, preventing him from slipping on the AC/DC he’d decided he was in the mood for.

Looking up at the angel, Dean was surprised to see a small grin on his lips. “What? You don’t like AC/DC now?”

“Oh, I do.” Cas replied calmly, the tiny grin still quirking the corner of his mouth. “But I thought the driver got to choose the music.”

Dean’s jaw dropped, seeing the tiny glint in Cas’s eye. He’s playing with me, he registered. Damn angel is actually teasing me.

“Well… uh…” Dean took a moment to respond, finding himself laughing instead. “Driver chooses the music,” he agreed, “but only because it’s you!”

He waved the AC/DC cassette threateningly at Cas, though he couldn’t help but smile.

“Driver chooses the music,” Cas agreed, his grin growing as he added, “and shotgun does what?”

Dean laughed again. He’s trying to cheer me up, he realized with a small pang in his heart. He’s trying to play around and keep me distracted so I don’t worry about Sammy. It was fruitless of course, he’d worry regardless, but he felt his heart grow with fondness as he dramatically shoved the old box of cassettes towards the angel.

“Shotgun shut’s his cakehole,” Dean completed, his voice fond and mirthful. “Bitch.”

“Ass.” Cas threw back casually.

Much to Dean’s horror, Cas had no interest in his box of old classic rock tapes, gesturing for Dean to pass his small duffle up to the front of the car while they drove.

Cas didn’t carry much when they went on hunts, not having the need for multiple changes of clothes and weapons options that the Winchesters did. It turns out one of the few things he did pack though, was a tape of loud, mid-nineties rap songs.

Slipping it into the tape deck with another small, cheeky smile, Cas settled back for the drive an hour north to the next town with a police station.

“I hope we do find Sammy soon,” Dean commented dryly, “or me and you are going to come to blows about music choices.”

Cas glanced side-long at him, winked, and turned the volume up.

******

It had been a long day by the time they returned to the motel. They could have moved to a nicer one, but Dean wanted to stay put in case Sam came looking. Cas admitted it was logical, but the room definitely left a lot to be desired. Even having used his grace when Dean wasn’t looking to whisk all of the bloodstains off the sheets, the beds still felt a little skeevy.

Not that it bothered Cas as such; he spent the night sat alone in the single chair next to the bed, or – unbeknownst to Dean – circling the town on foot all through the night, looking for any sign of Sam.

His heart felt heavy as he shut the door behind Dean and himself. They had no clues at all, and not even a direction left to start in the morning.

“Dean?” Cas stepped over to where the hunter was sat on the edge of the bed, awkwardly shaking off his jacket. “Let me help.”

“I got it Cas. I can take a damn coat off,” Dean snapped. As soon as he said it, he shook his head and looked up to where Cas hovered awkwardly, frowning. “Sorry. I’m sorry dude. I’m just getting on edge again. It’s just…….man.” He exhaled, leaving the sentence to fade.

“I know.” Cas’s expression smoothed as he lowered himself to sit in the chair next to the bed, reaching to tug the coat from the remaining third of Dean’s stiff arms. “I understand.”

Folding the jacket, he reached over to place it on the foot of the spare bed. He contemplated it thoughtfully for a moment, before removing his own trench coat and placing it next to it.

Dean watched him, a little surprised. “So it’s not glued on,” he quipped lightly.

“Of course it’s not,” Cas puzzled a him, before catching his tone. “Oh. Yes. Well usually it doesn’t really bother me, but I felt like taking it off today.”

Pulling a brown bag towards him across the bed, Dean reached inside for a beer. Passing one to the angel without comment, his gaze was distant as he sucked down the first mouthful.

After silently progressing down the first half of the bottle, Cas eventually sighed and spoke again.

“I’m sorry Dean. I tried to distract you as much as I could today, but…. The fact remains that we still have no leads on Sam’s location.” He looked down at the beer bottle, picking at the label.

Dean didn’t respond for a minute; Cas wasn’t saying anything he didn’t know. When he looked up to Cas, he had a strange, sad smile.

“You say sorry too much, you know.”

The angel’s eyebrow rose in confusion at the response. “I’m…….sorry?”

Dean couldn’t help but chuckle a little. “See.”

“I just meant…”

“I know what you meant.” Dean cut Cas off with a small smile. He took another gulp of beer before turning more fully to face the darker-haired man in the chair. “You know…. It was nice to see you like that today. I know you were trying to cheer me up… and I appreciate the effort. You don’t have to do that. But I do like seeing you a little less…stiff.”

“Stiff?” Cas repeated quietly.

“Yeah.” Dean shrugged.

“You don’t like me stiff?” Cas asked nonchalantly, peeling at his label.

“No Cas, of course I like you-“ Dean only caught the wolfish grin on the angel’s face half way through his sentence. “You……you dick.”

He laughed, and to his utmost surprise, so did Cas; his face splitting and crinkling with genuine laughter. Dean watched him with fascination; it was an expression he hadn’t seen to that extent since he’d met another version of the angel, from several years in the future at the time, who had travelled a different path. He needs to laugh more, Dean thought. It’s beautiful.

Dean had so much to worry about. Sam’s absence felt like someone had cut off his arm. But he’d never been as grateful for Cas as he was then.

Thanks for reading! Chapter 3 should be a day or two at most; I just need to format it for Tumblr.

Here’s Chapter 1!

#destiel #deancas #dean cas #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #castiel #dean #sam winchester #without a trace #fanfic #fanfiction #fic #pre-destiel #fluff #slow burn

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valkerymillenia · 7 years ago

Note

I ask all 50!!! Fill us with fun facts about you!

Holy shit, again?! I’m not that interesting, you know?But ok, I’ll try, I’ve already answered some though.

1: What color are your socks?

Answered.

2: Have you ever lied about your age? Why?

Answered already!

3: What is something you regret in the past month?

So much wasted time…

4: Do you believe in love at first sight?

I’ve answered this before- no, I believe in attraction at first sight; love, however, needs to be earned, grown and nourished.

5: When was the last time you wrote someone a letter on paper?

Do notes to translate conversations into paper for my deaf dad count? If so, then today.If you mean real letters… I honestly don’t remember.

6: How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike? Who taught you?

Answered!

7: Do you get along with your parents? Why or why not?

Oh my gods, this is such a loaded question…Ok, I’ll try to keep it simple. Who am I kidding? That’s not possible.

Mom- ok so my mom is denial of any form of mental illness but she clearly has manic depression and war PTSD since forever. So as a result my mom has always been a bit aloof, irresponsible, neglectful, super permissive, a sneaky opportunist and a slightly childish and impulsive. Never thinks ahead, just goes nuts on the moment or spends too much time asleep (no in between).So my mom wasn’t the best mother in the world, she was a great caregiving and spoiling mother when we were babies but as soon as we gained minimal independence (aka around 5 years old) she just slacked off on the motherhood department. She’s not very bad, she’s just irresponsible and opportunistic and won’t interfere if we need help which doesn’t suit a mother but she’s a great person so she makes a very good friend (as long as you set boundaries and basic duties), she’s funny and sweet and a bit geeky, she’s also beautiful and used to be a model before I was born so she’s that fashion and beauty oriented friend (if fact she’s a certified beautician and taught me all she knows).So… Complicated relationship, lots of love but not the best mom (can’t blame her, grandma was a bitch).

Dad- I love him, he raised me, but I was also his main caregiver since I was 10 since he’s deaf and crippled. He’s a funny and permissive dad (except when he had explosive bouts of rage but that was a phase…a traumatic and slightly violent phase around the divorce time but short), he tried to be a provider and friend with shared interests with me. BUT he was also quite neglectful, being deaf made him very introverted, paranoid and isolated so he just let me run wild (I didn’t, I was taking care of the house and school instead) while he was cooped up playing pc games. We have that friendly daddy’s girl relationship but we both lack trust, we keep our more important thoughts to ourselves and I’m always afraid that as a deaf person he’ll misunderstand important things or judge me for whatever (and he’s always also feeling judged) so our relationship often feels shallow, he’s also the type in denial about people’s mental illness.

Biological father- Fucking complicated. As a little child he babysat me and was our neighbor so I was always hanging out and getting candy, he was also the person that cherished me the most to take hundreds of photos of me. I moved at age 5 so after that we only communicated through my grandma when she traveled between countries, he’d send me presents and worry about me. I only found out he was my progenitor when I was 10 and it took me years to accept it. Saw him again when I was 18, in fact it was like shock therapy- I spent a whole month living with him as I visited my hometown again. He likes to spoil me as much as he can and he’s very kind but also naive and stubborn and not the type that likes to talk about feelings or important things so talks between us are extremely awkward chitchat.

Stepdad- Terrible relationship. He’s the kind of person that is a caregiver for us all out of duty but then uses that to emotionally manipulate everyone. He’s small minded, old fashioned and selfish and blames everyone for his problems, he also seems to have a personal thing against me- pretty sure he doesn’t hate me but I’m his natural verbal punching bag, anything I say or do in front of him, no matter how innocent, even standing still for a moment or asking to pass the juice at dinner, he twists everything into insults and psychological abuse. Luckily my sister is his baby so she escapes his judgement but he wasn’t that much of a present parent to her either and let her run wild a lot (I’m so glad I could turn that around and teach her to be way more responsible than her parents). The only reason I don’t totally hate him is because he gave me sister, who I love most in the world.

8: What’s your favorite season?

Answered!

9: Do you currently like someone?

Yup, also answered before.

10: Have you ever used an Ouija board?

I know how but I never used it, as a Wiccan my preferred specialty for spiritual communing was pendulum scrying.

11: What’s the last song you sang?

“Havanna” by Camilla Cabello has been stuck in my head for weeks.

12: What’s your favorite scent?

Telling me to choose just one fav of anything is hard af… But here are some favs.

Fresh peppermint, lavender, petrichor, burnt eucalyptus, baby powder, sea water, freshly baked bread, and oddly enough- gasoline.

13: What’s your favorite urban legend?

Can’t choose favs but off the top of my head… La Llorona.

14: What’s a bad habit that you have?

Procrastinating.

15: What’s a strange habit that you have?

All my odd stims and ocd rituals.

16: What’s the first instrument that you learned to play?

Answered.

17: How would you describe your ‘type?’

Already answered in the previous ask meme.

18: Would you rather stay in or go out?

Both, when I go out I make it special and try to make the most of it because it’s rare… But I guess I do prefer the safety and routine of staying home.

19: What was the last thing you said to your mom?

“Never going to see what you borrowed from dad again, am I? This is why people don’t trust you, you never keep your promises…

Well, whatever! How are the stitches? You’re better, right?

Ok, put my sister on. Kisses, bye.”

20: Do you want to get married someday?

Already answered in the previous asked meme.

21: Have you ever snuck out?

Not that I needed to with my kind of parents but yeah, a couple of times.

22: Can you sing well?

I love to sing but whether I’m good or not is up to the listener, I can post a song sample if anyone wants.

23: What’s an embarrassing thing that happened this week?

Other than grovelling desperatly for help?

24: When was the last time you went sledding?

Never?

25: Have you ever/do you liked someone you know you can never be with?

Yeah.

26: Do people often mispronounce your name?

Yes! If you’re not a Portuguese speaker, I DARE you to pronounce my surname. Go ahead- Coelho.

27: Would you like to live in another country?

I do miss my home country, South Africa holds my heart… and I’ve dreamed of a stint in Japan. But all in all, I like this country, it’s…interesting, safe.

28: Do you like to watch ghost-hunting shows?

Not really, they tend to be too over the top and stereotypical.

29: Who was the last person you said you loved to?

Boyfriend.

30: What’s something you’d like to be better at?

Follow through.

31: Have you ever stayed up to talk to someone who was sad?

Very often, Some right here on tumblr.

32: What was the last thing you cooked?

Chili con carne. Been eating leftovers of it for a whole week now.

33: Do you think you would make a good parent?

Answered already.

34: Do you have trouble sleeping at night?

Answered!

35: Where is your best friend right now?

Given the day and time, my sister is probably at dance practice now.

36: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning?

Depends if I’m making an effort (an hour) or if I’m just being casual (20min).

37: How late do you usually stay up at night?

Answered.

38: When was the last time you cried and why?

I don’t know…

39: Have you ever won a contest?

Yes, started this year by winning a Justice League pop contest. But that was more of a giveaway... Actual contest? I won a couple b of art contests before but nothing big.

40: Can you draw well?

I have art posted here so you tell me.

41: Would you ever date someone you met on Tumblr/the internet?

Sure. I already do.

42: What was the last thing you ate?

….Bread.

43: Do you think you’re/you’d make a good boyfriend/girlfriend?

I sure hope so, I try my best… But to be honest I don’t think I’m a very good partner.

44: Have you ever had a near-death experience?

About 6 actually.

45: What do you think people think of you?

I don’t know… I’ve been told I make people feel comfortable and I’m easy to open up to? But to be honest I don’t really know.

46: What is your middle name and do you like it?

Augusto. My mom’s maiden name, because that’s how it works here (Name+ maybe 2nd name + mom’s surname + dad’s surname).

Yes, I like it, it’s latin. But people sometimes mix it up with my paternal grandma’s first name.

47: Are you close with either of your parents?

In my own way, yes. Both mom and dad.

48: Do you like yourself?

Some days…

49: State five facts about your appearance –

-I get a lot of comments on my boobs and I really don’t mind

-I look pale because I stay inside a lot but I tan very easily, probably because my mom is dark

-I love my tattoos, I’m proud of them

-I wear glasses or contacts in important occasions

-I have the worst time looking people in the eye

50: State five facts about your personality –

-I’m patient but full of anxiety

-I don’t have just one personality

-I try to be as unbiased and non-judgmental as possible

-I’m obsessive about random things

-I like solitude but I also like interacting (though the more non-physical the better)

#ask meme #rach rambles #personal

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taylorunicorn13 · 7 years ago

Text

I ALMOST MET HER

I ALMOST MET HER Disclaimer, it's a very long story guys, it contains a lot of emotions, regret, happiness and sadness in just one post. 15th of October, 2017 One of my mutuals on twitter, changed her name to "Taylor Nation" and sent me a confidential DM (msg usually sent by Taylor Nation to all deserving swifties who got luckily invited to Taylor's secret session") I really thought it was frickin real and i even sent her my complete address and legit included "PHILIPPINES" on it. Little did i know, she was just playing around and messing with my feelings (but she is my friend tho, and i cant hate her cause she's one my fave mutuals ever) but damn guys, it really wrecked my whole damn life, i thought Taylor wants to me too 😔 i thought Taylor knows my name and how i look like. And after few hours, i was able to get my composure back and already accepted the fact that I WILL NEVER EVER MEET Taylor Alison Swift. I've been a twitter stan for a very long period of time, and always complain on how Tay put so much attention on tumblr swifties, and never appreciates twitter swifties (sorry) and since using tumblr confuses me a lot, i decided to stay on twitter and use it as my major fangirling tool lol Then lately, Taylor has been joining instagram live of some lucky swifties, so i tried my luck on IG again and made myself look like an idiot by going on IG live just to get Taylor's attention, but after 3 attempts of trying, I gave up. Then last Wednesday, 18th of October, 2017 ONE DIRECT MESSAGE ALMOST CHANGED MY WHOLE LIFE. At around 11:54AM, i got a notification again from Taylor Nation, saying "CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE" damn babe, it's just so funny how i literally ignored it for a min bc i think someone is trying to make fun of me again, but SHIT JUST GOT REAL!!!!! GUYS!!!! I clicked on the account, and yeah, confirmed! TAYLOR NATION JUST SENT ME A DM!!!! It took a while for me to absorb everything and reply on their dm cause I was literally shaking, crying and screaming the whole frickin time bc it was frickin real and no longer a prank. I even woke all my relatives up and they thought that something bad happened to me lol and yeah it took me 4 frickin mins to send all the personal info that they need from me. And you know the drill guys, cause once Taylor Nation sends that so called "CONFIDENTIAL MESSAGE" you already know what will happen next, *internally screaming* "SECRET SESSION" babyyyyy!!!! And after getting their DM, i was so happy, it felt like I was in cloud 9! Ive never felt that genuine happiness before, added to the fact that i was also completely unstable, i wanna scream and tell the whole wide world that I am so close to meeting Taylor Swift but I cant. So i just spent the whole night and day waiting for their reply and thinking of happy memories that I am soon gonna be making with Taylor. Then Thursday morning, 19th of October 2017. My phone rings, it was a very unfamiliar yet too familiar, international number! My heart beats faster and my voice starts to tremble as I answer and say hello to the happy girl on the other line! "Heyyy Camila, ohmygod, it feels so nice to finally be able talk to you, wow" OHMYFUCKING GOD !!! THE SINCERITY AND HAPPINESS ON HER VOICE WERE SURREAL I AM TALKING TO TAYLOR NATION ON THE THE OTHER LINE She keeps on saying WOW lol so i finally said, "Hi, are you Taylor Nation? And ohhh, I'm not Camila, it's actually Cristina" (LOL GUYS, I'VE BEEN USING CAMILA'S NAME ON TWITTER FOR SO LONG, I THINK THEY THOUGHT THAT IT WAS MY PET NAME OR WHATEVER) so that's how our conversation started, she also introduced herself and i was so stupid for not remembering her name for being too hyped. All i remember was these lines "TAYLOR IS INVITING YOU TO A VERY SPECIAL AND EXCLUSIVE EVENT" "IM TELLING YOU THAT THIS IS A BIG OPPORTUNITY FOR YOU TO FINALLY MEET HER" FUCK FUCK FUCK TAYLOR WANTS TO MEET ME TAYLOR KNOWS ME TAYLOR IS NOT IGNORING ME AND ALL THIS TIME, TAYLOR HAS BEEN STALKING ME AM I DREAMING? Then, i caught myself off guard when she said "I know it will really take a long journey for you, knowing that you're from the Philippines, but are you willing to take it?" I said YES (cause bitch i love taylor so much and of course ill do anything to meet her) So i asked her, "when and where" And she said "It's actually this coming Sunday in Los Angeles, can you make it?" The happy tone of her voice was still there OKAY, GUYS IM DONE MY LIFE IS RUINED I AM A TOTAL MESS "I DONT HAVE A PASSPORT AND VISA" How can I make it in L.A in three motherfucking days? I AM SO DEVASTATED So thereeeeee, she was explaining a lot of things and the only thing i could recall was "looks like you're not going to make it" and i can hear the sudden regret and sadness in her voice. I AM SO SAD. FROM BEING IN CLOUD 9 TO GODDAMN HELL REAL QUICK But before we end our conversation, i asked her one last question. "HOW DID YOU GUYS FIND ME?" I hear her laugh on the other line before she answers me "We have our own ways, we have our eyes, and we've been monitoring you for a very long time, you're such a great fan, and we love how you show your love ans support on Tay even when she's on break and especially during her TRIAL, and i really love your account" OMG WHAT TRIAL? YOU MEAN HER CASE? SO ARE THEY REALLY STALKING ME IS TAYLOR REALLY STALKING ME DID TAYLOR ALSO HANDPICK ME? THE THOUGHT OF TAYLOR STALKING ME WITHOUT ME KNOWING SOMEHOW CHANGED EVERYTHING. SHE KNOWS MY EXISTENCE. IT MADE ME FEEL BETTER I LOVE HER SO MUCH AND IT HURTS I HATE MYSELF FOR LOSING THE BIGGEST OPPORTUNITY OF MY LIFE I AM FOREVER CARRYING THIS BURDEN Also the pictures, I've been creating in my head, of me happily spending the best time of my life with Taylor in her apartment in LA, with Meredith and Olivia, was G O N E. Like G-O-N-E. GONE in just like that. My world literally crashed after the phone convo that I had with TN, it changed my whole perspective in life and also as a swiftie, i thought that I will never ever get this chance. I even told myself that if Taylor would ever invite me to her Secret Session, i would legit do anything just to be there with her. But what the fuck did just happen? I'm almost there! I've been waiting since forever. It was already Taylor who's inviting me and I just put her down 😔 This is the worst thing that could ever happen to a huge and dedicated swiftie like me. My family and friends used to say that "your time will come" and i guess that's it. That's how it works, that's how I lost the chance. The opportunity was already there, but the timing wasn't right. Ive been keeping this sadness all alone cause i made a promise to Taylor and TN to keep it until the LA Secret Session was over. And yeah, btw to all my fellow swifties who hasn't been noticed by Tay yet, don't lose hope. And also, just a quick reminder to all international Swifties especially Filo swifties, guys don't ever say that she's being unfair for not giving chances to us, i am telling you guys, she's giving equal opportunities to all her swifties and really doing her very best to meet all of us 😊 And if your time hasnt arrived, then it's not your time yet. And to Taylor Swift, i know you can't wait to meet me too and I am sorry I could make it this time but I am never losing hope, you know how much I love you, and if today's not our day then it's not our day yet. See you soonest buddy!!!! I love you with all my heart. I lost the chance to meet her at the Secret Session but at least Taylor Alison Swift knows me and somehow that was everything. Love, Cristy/TaylorUnicorn13 Supposed to be one of the LA Reputation Secret Sessioners @taylorswift

#@taylorswift

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thalsianiii · 7 years ago

Note

§ Do it! IC & OOC

I swear I’ve spent almost 8 hours answering these.

In Character

Good: “She’s a learned sorceress. I can credit her with that much at least. In the days she used her magic for more than enchanting a pen to write for her or brushing her hair she was a force to be reckoned with. I watched her tear apart demons, undead, Silithids, and void knows what else with an incantation and a burst of arcane energy. Once upon a time she would have given me a run for my money.”

Bad: “Shall we write a novel for you on her copious number of flaws or stick with the big ones? She’s weak, soft, and cowardly. What was once a fierce sorceress who rode dire wolves into battle with an enchanted bow is now a mewling whelp who could do little more than cower in our presence when her lie of omission was brought to light. She has forsaken everything that made her someone worth admiring, someone worth loving. What was once a beautiful she-wolf is now little more than a breeding bitch worth nothing more than to pop out illegitimate and unacknowledged bastards.”

Good: “...her ass still looks good. For now.”

Out of Character

Good: You are a brilliant RP partner. Not just writer or role player. You are arguably one of the best partners one could ask for. You write your characters so well, but more importantly you take the extra time to pay attention and learn about your partners to strengthen that relationship. you’ll push your partner to explore new avenues and try new things and make them a better writer because of it. To be entirely honest, I’m envious that @ardantahmasholt gets to enjoy you instead of me from now on. >.> But as they say, it’s better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all!

Bad: I adore you Sara, but occasionally you take criticism rather poorly. At least when it touches on certain hot button topics. You go on the defensive rather quickly sometimes which in turn makes it difficult for people to get their true message across. It’s hard to admit we’re wrong, light knows I can be just as bad. But sometimes it’s better to just take a deep breath and listen to every aspect of someones criticism, even if their delivery is shite, before deciding how much validity their claims have.

Good: If you thought being a brilliant partner was something. It’s only multiplied 10x over by what a great friend you are. Between discord chats, game time, snap chat, tumblr, and all the other mediums we talk on, you’ve become one of my best friends. Arguably second only to my childhood best mate here in Canadia. We’ve laughed, cried, raged, and much more, more than anyone else I know from this crazy world we call warcraft. If there was ever a person I’d take a trip to go see, you’re top of that list above everyone else. I can’t wait for the day we get to hang out and go on whatever crazy adventures we find. I love you bunches Sara!

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decoding1432 · 8 years ago

Text

The Art Behind Manipulating & Guarding a Fandom (p. II)

Here it’s the second part guys, take time to analyse it...

NOTE: *Most of the posts I direct you to, are SHORT & in my opinion not too dense to read. In fact, the great majority are Q&As. I’ll identified every post with a letter, it means that throughout the various parts you’ll see them repeated, so no need to read one twice*

If you missed or want to re-read the first part here it is: The Art Behind Manipulating & Guarding a Fandom (p. I) – decoding1432.

Now, the astroturfers & how to identify them.

I would say that identifying some astroturfers with exactitude is very hard to do, I mean we are talking about professionals. Not even the directioners who have spent years dealing with them are able to fully assure when they are being invaded by some. Nevertheless they have learned to recognise them & some types are obvious.

*link A*

Basing it on an article by The Consumerist, astroturfers are primarily known for two things:

Vague or anonymous identities. The identities of the people, or group of people, are very minimal or completely anonymous. Their profiles would either be generic, unorganised or have few or no posts. If you’re tech savvy and use tools such as Statcounter, you might notice that they frequent certain pages that cater to certain topics and/or suspicious recurring IP addresses.

A specific discussion path is followed/repeatedly brought up. Since one of the main goals of astroturfing is to support one side and discredit another, most astroturfers usually follow a certain discussion path,

ie. Opening -> Segue -> Main Topic Being Pushed

I’ll be using their examples to show you. I’m sure Camren blogs will be like: “relatable”. A lot of shipping involved. Try to exchange “Larry” for “Camren” & “Ziam” for another ship– Laucy, Norminah, Tyren, whatever you want– I promise it won’t become tedious (I’ll keep it the OG way, to avoid confusions). Here I present you what could be the various types of astroturfers (a.k.a. sneaky little bitches):

Example 1: *link E*

“You astroturfing trotters with your generic anti messages are such a fail. If you really read this blog you would also know I don’t “ship”. Never have. I support two couples I believe have been harshly closeted. Why would that upset anyone? Even if you disagree, I’m all about the love baby. I’m all about consenting adults being able to love each other openly, happily and free from hate and discrimination. What kind of a monster takes issue with that? You can ponder that while you lick your wounds and trot to the next blog to spread your venom. You’re a real credit to humanity making excellent use of your time”

As I see it, our first specimen is the aggressive type. During my research, I found several bloggers talking about this kind of astroturfer. Apparently, it’s a very common one & usually driven by hostility but SOMETIMES WITHOUT BEING RUDE. Pay attention to the description below:

*link F*

“I follow a bunch of Ziam blogs, and I heard talk about aggressive Ziam astroturfing of two kinds: (1) asking for masterposts and analyses, and (2) asking very specific factual questions. I talked with that-regular-chick about it, and she described it like this:

“…today we chatted and realized we all got very specific asks from the same “dummy” tumblr account: REDACTED. This account hit at least four of us in the past day. Each time they asked for our analysis and masterposts. Friday, I was blitzed with anon asks about Ziam, Zerrie and Sophiam. Initially, I was answering. But as I progressed through my Inbox, I noticed a pattern: careful not to offend so they throw some false praise in, a few “xx” or sometimes “thank you”. Always very specific about what they want know. Several claimed they were new to the fandom. I got so many, I felt they were really being aggressive and definitely had an agenda.”

Personally I tend to receive these type of anons on a daily basis. I would consider it’s the hardest one to recognise since I understand there are fans out there who tend to be very gentle when asking & simply with the purpose to learn & no one wants to be disrespectful toward any anon when answering, right? Nonetheless this is an advantage they take to camouflage. Note also how that-regular-chick said, ironically enough, the aggressive astroturfer is careful not to offend. Nonetheless I’m also aware that at times there are pretty intense anons which break that pattern of softness & jump straight ahead into using a harsh approach like the one shown in the first pic. Just look at the way that-regular-chick clarified she’s a victim as well despite not being about shipping. I know most Camren blogs get the infamous “why do you assume someone else’s sexuality when it’s none of your business… SO ANNOYING OMG” anon. Well now you know it’s an anti message mainly seeking for you to stop. Since now it’s all about killing Camren no wonder why we’ve seen many of these lately.

Example 2: *link G*

“Both my suspected astroturfers have responded, and their messages are overlapping under the two different URLs in question. And neither likes to use capitalization, coincidentally enough. And if you can’t send asks under your sideblog, why not just change the settings? Also, why is your main blog hella inactive? And why do you think you need a blog to lurk on tumblr? So many questions…”

Our next kind, is the non-anon type. These shameless astroturfers couldn’t bother less in going unnoticed.

Not all of these are about not using capitalization, this ultimate aspect is a pattern the blogger found in that particular case. Here are a few elements you could lean on to identify them:

*link H* (THIS LINK IT’S NECESSARY TO BE OPENED .IT SPEAKS ABOUT FANDOMS MONITORING IN GENERAL. Apparently t’s explained by an insider the directioners had contact with but I’ll address this with more detail almost by the end. If you want to read it now, by all means go ahead.)

“The best way that I’ve seen to get a handle on tumblr is to set up what basically amount to burner accounts. You create a tumblr account with an unassuming username and do nothing to the actual account. You leave the layout at default, don’t change the icon, don’t make posts, and don’t reblog or favourite anything. But you use the account to follow the blogs that control the conversation in whatever fandom you’re trying to monitor.”

Funnily enough, I was followed by a burner account (or maybe more but I did spot one) in the past 24 hours, LOL:

Example 3: *link I*

“People also ask questions they could easily google, like what's Zayn’s Instagram? I mean, you can google that faster than I can answer you. LOL”

Our third type, is the lazy astroturfer. I believe this one is pretty self-explanatory. The description provided is more than sufficient. Characterised by a lethargic tone & vibe.

Another example I could add is: “What is Dinah’s full name?�� It’s the first thing I came up with since it’s something you can type in the google searcher… Besides a fan knows DJ’s full name it by heart, right? Lol

You might be wondering, why would they send these type of generic questions, why do they obtain with a generic answer. Well they come with three different objectives, it depends: Either gathering information or steering the conversation or merely keeping an eye on the blog (as in fan engagement).

Example 4: *link J*

I would classify this astroturfer as the… the Inception type, maybe? Excuse me, I’m getting Inception teas here (fun fact: Inception is my favourite film lol). As I understand an idea is put on a target (blog) by this specialised team (astroturfers) just like in the movie. Here I leave you a scene of the film to illustrate it better, min 1:05- 1:32 :

youtube

Saito (Ken Watanabe): If you can steal an idea from someone’s mind why can’t you plant one there instead?

Arthur (Joseph Gordon-Levitt): Here’s me planning an idea in your head, I say to you, don’t think about elephants, what do you think about?

Saito: Elephants

Arthur: Right but it’s not your idea, because you know I gave it to you. The subject’s mind can always trace the genesis of the idea. True inspiration is impossible to fake--

Cobb (Leo DiCaprio): *interrupting Arthur* It’s not true.

What we can appreciate in the scene is how DiCaprio contradicts Levitt’s statement of how the subject can’t remember the origin the thought seeded. As I understand this example of astroturfing works like this. The target will not be able to remember where the original question came from since it’s supposed to be passed to others. If I put into perspective this is the way I imagine the original OT4s & Cnizers were created. A constant brainwash pulled by the same negative comments, to an extent that they can’t tell who were the first accounts that influenced them. “The virus got to them & they’re spreading it”.

Example 5: *link K*

Blind astroturfing. How many times we’ve seen repeated questions on another blog? Or from one day to another? Or when we just answer the same thing a couple of asks ago?

Example 6: (if I were you I wouldn’t bother in opening this link since the rest is about their timeline & I didn’t understand what they were talking about but if anyone is curious enough *link L* )

“astroturfing anons will usually give us a heads up that something is coming down the pipe too (that happened with haige 2.0 - people got anons about her for weeks and then she popped up again in her weird mainly one sided stunt with harry). it happened again with babygate but none of us wanted to believe it.”

This is a very weird but not entirely foreign type. If I can call it the “physic” astroturfer. Raise your hand if you have received the “next month (x ) will do (x) thing… bla, bla, bla” sort of message in your inbox more than once? Yep. I see several hands raised in the back lol. It doesn’t mean all it’s necessarily fake, like we saw with the 1D blogger above. BUT it doesn’t mean it’s ALL true either. Watch out for that.

Example 7: *link M* (IMPORTANT TO READ)

“It’s becoming harder for fans to hold onto the illusion that the internet is a secret club and that the management team of a multi-million dollar boyband that built on its success on social media wouldn’t be interested in what fans say on social media.

So it’s awfully funny that there are now anons popping up heavily dropping implications that if we talk openly about what we see on the internet, that management will punish the boys and it’ll all be ~our fault~ and so we need to shut up if we truly love the boys....

Guilt trips–everything is your fault and your responsibility, including the actions of the management and record companies with clear motive and power for their actions–are just another form of attempts at control and manipulation. 'Don’t you care about the boys? You don’t want to hurt them, so if you care about them you will protect them and shut up and say nothing’. That is emotional blackmail. Bullshit.”

When I read this the first time, I was not surprised that they would reach this level. In all seriousness, I had already thought about this. What if one day an anon pops into my inbox & claims the girls will get in trouble due to my “big mouth”? Let me tell you something *starts getting heated* if that happens in the nearest future, I’m going to send them right straight to hell. THAT IS UTTER BULLSHIT. I’m not allowing anyone to use my girls in order to bribe the fuck out of me & my blog. If anything it just proves the amount of manipulation they are willing to carry on in order to save & cover up their asses because they’re threatened. & I don’t want to have to say this ever again… Listen carefully, NOTHING WILL HAPPEN TO THE GIRLS BECAUSE OF US. So if anyone receives or has already gotten this type of anon, IGNORE THEM, BLOCK & MOVE ON.

Just look at the date that post was written: 2014… 3 years later & the directioners are still there. Hell, stronger than ever. We are NOT GOING TO TOLERATE THAT EMOTIONAL BLACKMAIL ON OUR TERRITORY. Their biggest weakness is seeing us fighting harder against them, let’s not give them the power & satisfaction of witnessing us falling one by one like dominoes.

Example 8: *link N*

This one seems slightly tricky to me. I don’t know if can be considered a “normal” example or standard in this list since it’s reversed-astroturfing but I’m taking the time to mention it, it’s important.

“...astroturfers infiltrate with the ultimate end goal of dumping stuff on us, and monitoring how we’d respond to it, whereas (real) shady anons infiltrate with the intention to /warn/ us of stuff they know we’d respond negatively to…

the fake ones are always so ominous, and “be ready” or whatever but the real ones are just straight to the point and cautious-sounding and it’s crazy because many things we’ve been warned about are literally things we probably shouldn’t even /know/, much less prepare for...”

I’m still trying to process this last one tbh. I interpret it as the astroturfers (the fake ones) test our reactions but we can tell it’s them because we get this feeling that something is wrong. On the other hand, the real shady anons are to direct with the way they approach, it’s like if they were slapping us in the face but without harming us because they know how are we going to respond. Is it clear? Cause I have to admit, I even confused myself…

Example 9: *link O* (& last example lol)

I’m not sure if we could classify the following as part of astroturfing exactly. I would consider so because it’s so similar & incredibly interesting the way these work that I had to include it:

“Plant blogs”. What is a plant blog? This is the name directioners have christened with those blogs that are sent by the team in order to plant seeds (info) with the purpose of spreading it & ultimately achieving their goal which could be to distract, separate or influence the fandom.

“it means that we believe her blog was ‘planted’ by someone behind the scenes working for/with the boys rather than being an organic blog run by a real fan.”

Not all plant blogs are poisonous since not all the people behind them have bad intentions. I know it’s hard to believe this latter but from what I was seeing the 1D fam had once a blog on their side educating them & never disrespecting or influencing them to hate on any of their boys:

*link P*

“yes a ‘plant’ blog in the way that we’re using the term would be someone who joins the fandom with a deliberate agenda.

in our case, the agenda was beneficial to us as we learned a lot (especially about image manipulation in the press and how to limit the effect of astroturfers on us/the fandom conversation).

there are also hypothetically negative plants whose main role and goal would be to gaslight the fandom from within and make us doubt ourselves/our own observations.”

So...

This were some examples that I consider we have already encountered in the past. I believe the list can continue to go on & on but we’re beginning to study this new concept. I guess with time the experience will shape the “astroturfy” messages adequately enough so we can recognise them with more ease.

Don’t worry, on Part 4 I will give you recommendations I found on how to deal with them...

DON’T BE NAIVE KIDS.

#astroturfing #this is how they monitor us #part three will be about their methodology #sneaky little bitches #stay woke #5h blogs #camren blogs #camila blogs #read & spread

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